#i didn’t know i listen to abyss that many times but god im seeing this guy tomorrow i’m going to see him sing these songs live🧍 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

woozi · 3 years

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i agree how you described twt, sometimes everyone's just ready to fight it seems, i've genuinely had fun on both platforms at different times but now it's just too much on stan twt (no space for difference of opinion djsjdjj) it's good to know you're having fun as well :3 & omg i've seen few of my moots starting to give svt their attention after fallin flower dropped, everything abt it is <3333 the song, mv, choreo i love it.

hdjdjddkdjdj " virgos 😐 " also me in next breath "happy birthday mark :D i love you so much 🥺💕💗" any virgos reading this i really hope you enjoy your month to the fullest djjdjd <3. righttt?? you're correct abt mark's temper being very virgo djdjdkd.

your line screams hard-working people <3 jihoon, jaebeom, jeonghan the 3Js <3. isn't jaebeom also an infj? (i don't take mbtis seriously but at the same time it also makes me happy if it ends up matching someone i like djdjjd) chan & yugs 🥺 these two imo have the sweetest personality, like the one which makes you feel welcomed & they also have the cutest laugh 🥺.

i love jus2 <3 focus on me is one of my favorite kpop mvs of all time & also drunk on you??? i love this song so much, very sexy of them. the vibes, style and everything w/ their album, i want more songs like that. and for when i am feeling melancholy i need more songs like jjp's verse 2 😭💔 but i am also okay if they don't want to go back to these units bcoz everything so far they've been giving is just as great <33 ( maybe in future we'll get blessed w/ features 🥺)

honestly g7 as grp and individually have won me over with their music style, even if i don't like full album ik there will be 3-4 songs which will be exactly what i like to listen to, all of the music they've released individually i've liked it so much. there is this song of youngjae's, titled "i'm all ears" i had no idea of its existence until it popped up in my spotify i'm so glad it did, it's been in my playlist ever since. there was also a time when i was obsessed with jackson's 'on the rocks' djdjdk.

aww <3 the live performance video of 1° has mark as thumbnail so for long time i used to associate this song with him jdjddk. i think the only j*pe thing i'd miss is got7 studio live sessions 🥺. RIGHTJDKSKS aju nice's mv is very cute djjddk I love it, in reality its reverse tho, i see them and boom! 💖💛💗🤍💕💙

it was the year they won first bb*as award so that gave them the exposure, and no i don't follow them anymore. mixed feelings abt them, very negative feelings abt f*ndom fjdjdjd. i do miss what it used to feel like liking them sometimes. at that time i never thought i'll willingly drop them from my interest (i've stanned zayn since 2012 first him as grp member then solo. sometimes thinking abt it gives me a whiplash hddjks it's been 9 years, really thought it would be same with them too but it didn't happen)

i've had falling in love by yugs and in to you by jaebs on loop for days djdkdk i really love these two songs and also air by bammie <3 (i'm slow jams kinda person djdjdk :3)

(bam released the most fun album & title this year idc abt others, ribbon is one of the soty) also special mention of look so fine & running through the rain. yes! you do make sense they feel organic & very them.

exactly 😭 it's more believable when they drop stuff out of nowhere like encore 😭😭. the way youngjae posted his letter on twt too ddjjdkssk the announcement & release of encore is such a 'you just had to be there' situation the excitement, nervousness, confusion and everything 😭 sometimes i can't with them. also is the bibi with mark on ost, the same one you mentioned in last ask? the ost is really good <3, it must've been fun to see it happen (if its same bibi).

making a whole ass playlist just for me???? 😭😭😭🥺💗 yza you're so sweet nooooo 💖

and don't worry abt replying late jdjdkdjd i mean it, sometimes my friends text me after weeks and i'm am the same. it's really okay <3. i hope this week is treating you kindly, take care yza - 🪂

p.s ( just saw last post djjej) - it was me who manifested more bunny dino <3 manifesting even more <33

i was on stan twt during my younger years too and it was v fun and memorable to me ngl <3 idk what happened though.. it's evolved to be.. Something Else.. i still see a lot of good people there though 😭 and now that i'm in my Hag Era... idk it's just too fast for me now 😭 it's still my go-to place for updates though nothing can top twitter on that dept

and ms fallin flower.... i feel like everyone was blown away by it (based off of what i see carats when talk about it) and rightly so!! she SERVED. the looks too oh my god. it's another factor i look forward to and enjoy so much when i watch their performances!!

u know what? virgos 😐 indeed KJJKDFJKFDJKFDKJ i want to slander virgos today because it's their season and no one slanders them that often so <3 ABOUT MARK'S VIRGO TEMPER THOUGH... i know i've said i enjoy seeing it sm but whenever i think abt it i cant help but say that.. I Love His Temper <3 he doesn't get pissed off in a scary and douchebag-y way it seems so... contained?? IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT he punched an a/c though so that might not be the perfect word to describe him lmaoo <3

THE J TRINITY HFDJFJDJHDF BESTIE UR MIND IS SO!!!!!!!!!!! honestly... maybe it's the acts of service for me <3 JKDFKJFDKJFJKD i think this is just my eldest sister and savior syndrome speaking though kfjkdkjf ALSO OH MY GOD THE WAY U NOTICE THESE THINGS <3 THAT'S SO SEXIE OF U!!! and yes he used to be an infj!! there was an interview that's more recent wherein he mentioned that he's now an enfj though but i cant rmb which interview it's from :/ ALSO MOOD FKJJKGJGKF i dont believe in mbtis too but im just... a little obsessed w it for the fun of it all <3 and the way u described them </3 what if i tear up a little </3 I LOVE CHAN'S LAUGH SO MUCH BUT IM SO SOS O GLAD U BROUGHT UP YUGYEOM'S LAUGH??????????? IT'S NOT TALKED ABT ENOUGH LIKE...... HELLO!!!!!!!!!!! one of my bird moots said he sounded like a schoolboy in choir 😭😭😭😭😭😭

GOD UR TASTE!!!!!!! what if i start falling in l*ve a little :/ what then :/ focus on me was ahead of it's time and people fucking slept on THEM i cannot fucking believe this. this has to be some kind of sick joke 😭 ALSO HAVE U SEEN THE CHOREO FOR SENSES!!!!!!1 INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!! holy fuck!!!!!! sorry for the expletives but like.... holy SHIT they did THAT!!!!!!!! ALSO UR SO RIGHT </3 jjp verse 3 when... ALSO did u know i let go of the jjprojects url... thats the worst mistake of my life KDKJDSKJDSJK also agree wholeheartedly <3 i think they're all trying to find their footing this time around as soloists and im so proud of them for that!! i'll stand by my jus2 agenda though bc they're almost in the same company so maybe.. i might have hope left 😭

SO TRUE BESTIE!!! the same principle goes w svt for me as well <3 got7's such a flavorful group musically like... all of them have the capacity to go solo and they're still considered flops.. waht the fuck <3 ALSO OMG FJDKJFKFJD YOU'VE HEARD The Song!!!!!!!! maybe he'll be releasing something along those lines <3 esp now that he's supposedly coming w an album KJSJKDJSK on a similar note.. do u also listen to jamie (the other artist on the song) <3 NOO SHUT UP THIS CANNOT BE FOR REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 i was obsessed w on the rocks too 😭😭😭😭😭😭 IT WAS MY FAVORITE ON THE MIRRORS ALBUM HELLO??????????????????????????? im proposing to u rn

ok now i have to watch all the live vids again JKDSJKSJDKDSKJ ik keep saying 'ur so right', 'i agree', and 'so true bestie' but im gonna have to say this again bc i LOVE LOVE LOVE live sessions sm no matter the artist. i also just am a little partial to live bands in performances like that in general so JDJKKDSJDS

the way you're saying these cute things abt the svteenies.. </3 giving me heartache!!! i'd bully them though i can't coddle them anymore <3

not the fandom JKFDKJFDKJFDKJFKJF ok but i think it's mostly their younger fans tbh. it wasn't this bad before.. i also really liked bts during their debut days. their songs were really good!! i kind of lost interest though and couldn't really get into them although their songs slapped lol. my irls are still into them though so i still hear about them. 9 YEARS............................... wait oh my god it HAS BEEN a little over a decade since 1d was The Thing huh 😭 now i feel kinda old lmao. and i totally get that feeling </3 it really do be like that sometimes JKFDJKJKFD

you really ARE keeping up w the sevens oh my god how are you doing it!!!!!!!!!!! it's like getting svt content now at this point but more complicated bc u need to get the updates from different sources JDKJSDKJJSKD love ur song choices too <3

ALSO FULLY RELATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when i saw bam's teasers... the aes was my cup of tea and THE HIGHLIGHT MEDLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can't fucking get it out of my mind it's objectively one of the best things i've seen from kpop in 2021. i'm super impressed <3 love how abyss really supported bambam on this. they really went all in for him!!

I KNOW GKJDFJDK I GOT SUPER ???????/// DURING THE TIME EVERYONE THOUGHT THEY WERE DISBANDING LMAOOOO they pulled a move that's so unheard of though no one really expected That. i respect jaebeom so much for handling all the paperwork and shit behind the scenes it must've been HELL!! ALSO IT MEANT I CRIED FOR NOTHING THEN 😭😭😭 AND YES OH MY GOD IT'S THE SAME BIBI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE SHOCK I HAD WHEN I SAW THE LIST????????????????????????? thought i was gonna black out like,,, mark,,, AND BIBI??????????????? she's fucking phenomenal how is she just a YEAR older than me.. INSANE!!! ... and i also thought jackson was gonna have an ost for this movie.. idk why it wasn't released though i didnt look into it :/

i had a rough few days so i'm not yet finished with the playlist (my laptop's Dead i am still trying to revive her and uni's starting soon 😭) but for the mean time, here's another one that some people from caratblr previously asked for JDSJKSDJ these are mostly english songs though its not my k-playlist KJDSKJSDJK

i do hope this week gets better!!! and i hope that you'll have a fun one too <3 thank u for being so patient w me 🥺 i just get so many messages and find the need to recharge FDKJDFJK

ALSO I FELT LIKE IT WAS U!!!!!! OH MY GOD, i even searched my blog for the word manifest but for some reason your ask didn't come up in the search so i didnt mention u in the tags so i wont misattribute if it ends up not being u 😭 thank u for manifesting this chan for me he's my little... hop hop now ig... 😭

#lov u u genuinely make my days better!! <#*<3 #also the way u called me by name... passing out rn </3 #🪂 anon #anon #y.ask #long post

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seduceme-lovestruck-thearcana · 4 years

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@megatraven

UGHHHGHGH. I keep thinking of Hades angst and yo,,I remember a screenshot from Astraeus route and I think it had Hades holding his scythe (from his Reaper) to MCs neck or something?? OR MAYBE I LIKE,,IMAGINED THAT??? But like,,imagine if that happened...

AND BTW THIS IS SUPER LONG IM SO SORRY JFEWFB.

MC doesn’t want to be Hera. She begs for anything else to happen to her. She’s lost, scared, in despair, and she needs a way out. And Hades knows this. Not just because she doesn’t want to die, but because like I headcannon, when a god takes over, you basically have to be in this abyss and watch what happens, ya know?? And honestly that IS terrifying, it makes sense for her to not want to be there. ESPECIALLY FOR ETERNITY?!?!?!? THAT WOULD BE HELL ITSELF!! AND SHE TELLS HADES THAT!!

So...she goes to him and begs him for a way out. And like...he has tried hard. He has taken the route in his own route (where he’s fought for her with everything) and it’s still not enough. They’re gonna make sure she becomes Hera, no questions, and they’re both scared. And MC has an idea and so does Hades, and neither of them like it. She basically asks him to kill her...And like my mind was like “NO!!!” And that screenshot came to mind (unless its fake and I hallucinated it-) and I was so sad because...in this AU he would. She’d beg and say how she’d rather die at his hands than the other Gods hands. Wants the last thing she sees to be her fiancée. Even if its a sad look, he’s still there. And that’s what she wants. She doesn’t want to be separated, to see him from afar, to see him suffer knowing he won’t hear her last words.

Which would be “I love you.”

But she will not die at the hands of all the Gods. Part of MC thinks its to spite the Gods and say how they cant control her, another part is fear. And there’s a little part of hope in there, right in her chest, small but bright, hoping that she’ll find her way to him. She’ll be able to hold him again, see his purple eyes look at her with all the love in the world, and see everyone again. Well,,,everyone immortal. And she’s reminded of everyone. Hades sneaks Alex, May, Josh, the boys, and Aphrodite to see her. She tells them what she plans to do. Obviously, none of them like it. They hate it and suggest everything else, but MC can’t change her mind. She will not risk the chance of her keeping Heras power OR being stuck in an abyss forever. Just the mention of the idea makes everyone cringe because she’s right...that IS a hell. So...they spend one last night with her. They keep it quiet, watch a movie, talk, tell her what they all want to tell her.

Especially ALEX!! ALEXXX!!! They’re scared to tell her. They know they will be denied and afraid to ruin everything at this last moment, but they need to tell her. So, they do. They tell her everything on their heart and she listens with surprised eyes. She was oblivious to this. She thinks its because she hasn’t been relaxed with them in a long time, so she never noticed, but now that it’s in front of her face...she realizes tHAT YEAH ALEX DOES LOVE HER AND HAS SHOWN IT BIJFBKF. And she smiles and “C” comes out of her mouth before she cuts herself off.

They’re not Cyprin here.

They’re Alex.

That’s who they have been to her all the time, and she smiles and pulls them into a hug. “Thank you, Alex. I love you too, I hope you know that Alex. Maybe not the same way, but you are my best friend, Alex. I love you, too.” She said Alex so many times, as if she was learning their name for the first time again. It makes them happy to hear it come from her lips again, and everyone loves the sweet moment. And Cerberus and his brothers give her hugs and Cerberus gets his aura out to cheer her up and keep things happy for a bit. Josh shares funny stories of cooking, his mishaps, and everything! Aphrodite tells her own stories, BASICALLY EVERYONE SHARES SOME WHOLESOME STORIES. EVEN MC!! SHARING HER FEELINGS OF EVERYONE AND HOW SHE LOVES THEMMM ALL!!!

And when everything is said and done, its about 6 am, and the Gods are coming for her. They’re coming to take her to the throne room, but no.

They won’t get her.

They can’t.

Everyone leaves them alone, but they all give her a kiss on the cheek or forehead and a TIGHT hug because they will miss her. THEY WILL!! And May and Josh basically threaten that she better know that. She knows that and promises that she’ll be watching them from the afterlife and it makes them all cry harder, but they leave and its just Hades and MC. However, to be NSFW real quick, they ‘get together’ before it happens bc honestly,,,idk thats just where my mind went lol. AND THEN,, THE TIME HAS COME,, HE HAS TO KILL HER BECAUSE HE PROMISED HER!! He calls upon his Aura and MC notices the sad look on the Reaper and she gives them both one last smile. The Scythe is at her neck and Hades’ tears streak down his face as she closes her eyes and takes her final breath. He was holding her hand and the grip was tight, and it went limp (Idk what he’d do necessarily?? Just uses the scythe to take her soul). She was falling to the ground but he caught her instantly and held her to him as he cried on the floor. What would he tell the Gods? What would he do? What will he do without her? He has his friends and everyone to back up that she wanted this...but still.

What will he do without her? Who will be the light to his shadows?

Zeus and Poseidon come through his door (not even knocking), and they call out for Hades, but they speed up when they hear Hades sobs. They come to the main room (idk I assume the door is a littles away from the main room like the living room) and they see Hades clutching MCs body to him. There’s no blood, no struggle, nothing. Just him holding the love of HIS LIFE in his arms, knowing he just ended the life of someone he loves once again...

Zeus and Poseidon just stand there for a second. Hades refuses to look them in the eye, cant look at them, and just looks at his lover...the one he loves so much...But he can’t avoid it forever. He looks up at his brothers and Zeus is furious and Poseidon is sad. Zeus is so close to attacking him, but Poseidon grabs his arm with a TIGHT grip. Poseidon isn’t even looking at anyone, just at the ground. “Hades...what happened?” His voice isn’t angry, it’s just sad, and worried. Zeus still can’t say a word. Hades looks back up at them.

“She...she wanted it to end.” His voice was shaky and tears still streamed down his face. “She told me...she wanted it to be me. For me to end it. Not you.” He growled the ‘you’ out. “She didn’t want to be trapped in an abyss for eternity. And it makes sense. None of us want to be trapped...”. He stops there, he can’t continue. He looks back down at her and hugs her body closer to him.

“The Reaper has taken yet another soul...” he whispers out, and his brothers hear him. This time, even Zeus is sad. He’s never seen his older brother like this (yh I found out Hades is the OLDEST FIREJBFD). This emotional and this heart broken. Or maybe he has and he just never payed attention. That makes him realize his actions and everything he’s done. Its shameful and he stares at MC as well, feeling his heart drop. And its not just because of Hera...its because she was going to be his sister-in-law (I think that’s what they are??? IDK MEG-) and that is an innocent woman. He doesn’t know how to face this (not even my Zeus knows how to face his emotions-), so he just walks to Hades and goes to sit beside him. Hades flinches away from him and his hold tightens on her for a moment, and both brothers understand why he does that. But they just sit beside him, in silence. “She asked you?”

“Yes. I would not take her life for no reason...I would NEVER even dream of it”. Poseidon hears the bite in his voice and the way its darker from his power, the power he tries to hide and not flaunt around like everyone. He just nods and it goes silent. “But at least...it wasn’t painful...”. Hades whispers it out. He knew the ritual would be painful, he knows it is. Not from experience but the ritual takes the soul apart...it’s going to hurt. He wouldn’t wish that pain on her. He would give his life, but the Gods wouldn’t accept it. Hell, he’s lucky they let him have her for one more night. The tears have stopped because they can’t continue. They always rise to the surface, but won’t drop. “I lost her...she’s gone...it’s all our faults...”. Hades made sure they all knew it was their faults. Not them but the Gods in general. They’re desperation for a Goddess who didn’t want to come back, who BEGGED to not come back, led to the death of an innocent woman. Led to a woman wanting to die. And I imagined Hades finally telling Zeus the whole truth like...it’s an emotional moment, and he feels like he should tell him.

“Zeus,” he says, his voice back to normal since he’s reigned his power back in, “Hera wanted to die. She asked me to take her, so I did. But she made me promise her to not let her come back. Never. Or maybe until she was ready, I’m not sure exactly. And when I found [MCs mothers name]...”. His breath catches at the mention of MCs mother who was also taken to early, a woman he loves as well, who was killed by the Gods. Direct or not didn’t matter. “She was Hera’s reincarnation and I...I was a little afraid. I made H.E.R.A with her and Aphrodite and I planned to tell her of her power that she held. But...I realized that I cared for her. Not in a romantic way, but she was a sister to me, I cared for her dearly, yet she was taken away from us because of US!” His voice was louder, and his eyes were shut still facing MCs body. Poseidon and Zeus flinch at his voice, not used to Hades being this angry even if they understand why he’s angry. “And I had to hold her in my arms when she died...and it moved to MC...and I fell for her, and I’ve done everything I can. But none of you wanted to think of her. Think of a woman who has done SO MUCH for us, a woman who has already suffered because. OF. US!”

When he mentioned that she had done so much for them, they were reminded of his s1 when basically everyone disappeared and was taken, yet MC was such a big factor into helping them...and they forgot that. They shouldn’t have, but they did. And it hurt them all.

AND AWAY FROM HADES TELLING ZEUS AND POSEIDON HIS STORY, they have a funeral on Earth. Even Hades will not bury her on Olympus. A part of him wants to since her mother is buried there, but he remembers Josh, May, and Alex. None of them will come to Olympus anymore, he knows it, and he won’t torture them by forcing them to come to Olympus to see her. And its all emotional. And,,,Hades tells everyone (as in her close family,,including May bc she IS family AND THE BOYS!!) that he’s sorry, but they know he did his best. Aphrodite witnessed it, and so did everyone else. And for the few years...it’s all silent. Hades attends meetings and does his work because he knows MC wants him to. MC wants him to keep living, being kind, helping people, and being Hades. But she asked him to promise her something...promise to never love another. And it was promised with NO hesitation. He loves her and no one else and he’s lucky to have had the chance to love her

ESPECIALLY AFTER KNOWING ALEX LOVES HER!! THEY’VE KNOWN HER LONGER AND HONESTLY HADES IS A LITTLE SURPRISED SHE DIDNT END UP WITH ALEX IFBHKRJEBWB. But like I said, everything is silent, emotionless. Everyone smiles from time to time, but it’s mainly quiet. Well, some of the Gods don’t care, and he honestly gets PISSED when he sees that, but he just goes back to his estate or his condo. Probably his condo since he has more memories of her there. She was never one for Olympus. It was beautiful to her, but it made her anxious, so the condo (and her apartment) was her safe place. And he goes to the fridge the day of her funeral and guess what he sees??? GUESS WHAT HE SEES??? He sees MCs baked goods. He takes them out and eats them and tastes how sweet and full of love they are. He KNOWS it will be a long time before he can taste this type of sweetness again, but he’ll happily wait 1,000 years if that’s what it took for her to come back to him. And he’ll keep his promise.

He will find his light again. He will. And maybe his light will find him. Light needs darkness after all....

UGH MEGGG!!! IM SAD!!! BUT I LOVE IT!!! LITERALLY STILL SOBBING AT THIS IDEA 😭. I JUST!!! LOVE HADES SO MUCH!!! AND HIM BEING EMOTIONAL AND STILL BE SO HARD AT UNDERSTANDING EMOTIONS IS SO AMAZING!!!! I love him and hNNNG IM SO SAD. I hope you like this and sorry its so long...

Love you 💙 💙. I’m so sad,,,but I love it and I hope you’re sad as well 😭 😭.

#lovestruck #astoria fates kiss #astoria fates kiss hades #afk #my writing #IM SO SAD MEGGG!! I need to share it pLEASEEE. I love attention but I also love sharing this idea bc honestly Meg it has been in my head for #WAY TOO LONG BGJKREW LIKE HTRJK. Gimme a sad idea to get this one out of my head for my sake lol. But yh love youuu and gonna read some of #your fics like I did at 5 this morning and CRY and be emotional bc we love being emotional #>:))))

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darling-blurbs · 3 years

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The Cyro Archon is interesting so I’m developing her into my own character until I finish genshin impact. Let it be known when the Cyro Archon actually appears and her story comes to light, I’ll just fix the story a bit. Ok? Ok

So her name is going to be Esther since most of the gods use their vessels names even though Esther is actually her name before she became a god.

Her powers are like Elsa’s. She doesn’t have total control when she is overly emotional so when she was heartbroken, she hardened herself. Onto more of the story part of my character.

“I’m the- was. I was the Love Archon but I was not meant to be that. How can someone be the Archon of something they can’t even do right?”

The Archon War (I haven’t gotten to the reason for it so I’m making stuff up a bit here) was there. Esther hung out with a certain god for years before this. Ever since they were young. Esther was the daughter of the current Cyro Archon so when her father decided to leave for the war, she did as well. Leaving her palace in the sky to see her friend again only to see her crush falling for a mere mortal. She was fine with it for the moment thinking that it was only going to be fleeting but once the god took the boy as a vessel, she was furious and heartbroken to a point where her body started to grow ice patch’s to contain her fury. She had part of a fire in her. One of her parents had a Pyro vision so her power more was conflicting with each other to a point where she exploded.

She killed many civilians that day and even her parents were killed in her rage. The archons ran while she withered in pain. She hated them but over the 500 years, she forgave them for their pieces. One she didn’t forgive was the bard. She still loved him. After all the Love Archon cannot stop loving the Archon of the one thing she wanted to have most of in the world. She turned cold though. Hateful. Her heart never opened up again other times few others. Childe, Hat Kid (as she called him) and the rest of the Harbringers were her confidents. She confided in them about her hate for the bard which translated to one of her female harbringers to almost murder him

The lovely mondstadt festival. The one day in the year that both of the Archons think of their lost lover. For the Cyro Archon, she watched the bard from a distance and giggled when he did his love advice remembering when he used to listen intently when she talked about the concept. What she didn’t know was that the Anemo Archon knew she was there. Her aura was always familiar but he was too scared to find her and didn’t know who her vessel was. Later, in the end of the event if the traveler walks into the tavern after midnight there will be a cutscene. Venti is seen laughing with others and the traveler when someone walks in. No one notices other than paimon. The figure looks at the group under their hood and a smile crosses their face before putting a bag of mora on the table saying to pay the bards bill and it’s from an old friend. Once the figure is at the door, they turn around and puts their hand on the frame. Paimon can see their features. Icy blue eyes that seem In love with the said bard. Ice creeps up on the place where their hand was put before walking out of the door.

Immediately when the door closed, paimon starts to shake the traveler as the man working the bar shouts out. “Your mysterious friend bought your tab again Venti! You gotta tell her to stop someday!”

Venti seemed to sober up fast and run out the door. There stood the cloaked figure whose back is turned. The wind starts to pick up as it got more cold seem by how the townspeople started shivering and puffing out white clouds. The figure looked up at the moon before Venti spoke up.

“You don’t have to do that anymore.” The figure chuckles.

“The moon looks pretty tonight don’t you think...” she pauses before saying “Barbotos?”

She turned and her icy blues met his green eyes. His seemed lost and desperate while hers looked at him like one would look at a boy who slipped from their grasp.

Paimon gasped as they stared each other down. “Why would you do that Esther-“ “don’t call me that. You don’t deserve that title to call me by.” The figure stood her ground. “Did you make this festival to rub in the heartbreak?” She laughs under her breathe. “You even took the mortal’s skin! Is that how you wanted to turn me down? Say you didn’t want a relationship because you didn’t want the ties but fall for a mere mortal after fighting with them for a day?”

The air got worse with every passing second. The wind was slowing down with Venti’s sadness but the cold was getting unbearable. “I didn’t do that. I would never leave you!” Venti tried to contradict but was only met with more laughter.

“When my father died, you only cared about the well-being of everyone else! You didn’t even come and find me-“ “That’s because I didn’t know who your vessel was! This festival was going to be a gift for us but you decided to try and end the world!”

The figure’s feet was freezing the streets before she breathed. “This was a mistake. I should have never came back here.” She spun around and started to walk away. A portal opened up but Venti screamed wait.

She turned around. Her icy eyes steeled. The smile and anger gone from her features. Only the stoic female remained. “Don’t leave me again.”

“You left me,” she said before turning to the portal and abyss mages appeared as the portal closed.

Kaeya watched her leave as well as the traveler come in the tavern dejected. “Im guessing Venti didn’t tell you anything and just said he wanted to sleep? Of course he is protecting her still. Sometimes I think their just both oblivious.”

“What happened? No better question. Who was that?” Paimon asked.

Kaeya chuckled. “The person you just met was Venti’s ex lover. Someone he was dumb enough to lose. The Cyro Archon.”

The traveler gasped as well as Paimon. “That’s the person trying to kill us? The world for that matter?”

Kaeya glared at the flying fairy. “Watch your mouth pixie. She is my- close friend. I do a lot of spying for the inside and everytime I’m there, I realize that heartbreak can do a lot to a person. If we would destroy the world for the person that held our hearts, what would one do if they shattered it and stomped on it?”

Kaeya is actually part of the Cyro Archons army. He fell for the young goddess and actually is on both sides because he supports both side of the story.

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9w1ft · 4 years

Text

feels a little early to be writing a year-in review but i find myself in a quiet moment so i thought i’d tap a few things out

in 2019, in all facets of my life, i faced a challenge of some sort and i surprised myself as i held my ground more often than ran away, which felt new. what *also* felt new was this sense of ease i began having professionally, when it came to conceptualizing and making decisions. sorta feels like a lot of things are crystallizing.

in terms of life on here, i didn’t have TSL for the majority of the year (anybody out there remember TSL?!) so i busied myself with crafting fun memories on my own. there were spans of weeks where i’d just get on a tear and run into one new thing after the other and it was all really just fantastic. i gave myself permission to indulge in the most decadent of things and to follow the most mercurial of assumptions to places i thought closed off.

i’m pretty sure i’ve smiled and laughed more over this year than i ever have in my entire life. no joke.

here are some kaylorverse moments that brought me joy in 2019:

it’s nice to have a friend

2018 was my first year being a kaylor and i just sort of was moreover on the contributor or commenter side of things so 2019 was interesting in that when taylor really leaned into the gay imagery leading up to album release, i started getting newer people sending me stuff! and asking me my takes on things! and like, my words suddenly had weight for some reason? it felt weird but i truly enjoyed getting to talk with so many different people and hear their ideas and laugh and such. that was markedly different from last year. from within this, 79-swift reached out to me with the eye theory, the most beautiful and rare of observations by a singularly lovely individual that i have dedicated my life to protecting and promoting. and i feel like i’ve gotten to know many people i knew through 2018 more deeply and have come to accept the role i play, lean in to it, and formulate my own truth of the matter, and that sort of heightened perspective on it has been a blessing and i’m so thankful for this strange sense of camaraderie that has formed with many of you? thank you??? and my conviction, and my wishes, for the girls to find happiness have only strengthened this year... im committed to seeing this through whether people like it or not!! harumph!

block ‘em

i also started proactively curating my experience.. that’s right! i began blocking trolls with reckless abandon, and i turned anons off! 😂 and damn it’s so much more worthwhile of a time on here when you set aside people that only want to ruin your day.

i got over my fear of eyeballs!!

😂 no seriously, body horror and in particular eyes out of context was actually sort of a thing that previously creeped me out BUT LOOK AT ME NOW. i’m gonna do my best not to rehash the eye theory, please read the post and recall the number of times i filipped out 😂 each and every one is precious to me

also

geeking out with bert and ernie gifs with kaylorfossil and making empsmd-blog drop her debit card need a mention.

the ME! music playlist.

i fell in love with so many songs and like, running into eye motifs in so many of the songs, lyrically and visually, was the most hilarious thing. but really just a lot of the songs really tapped at my soul with an ice pick and i even went to go see The Japanese House live in Osaka which was transcendental and i’m just so thankful for having taylor introduce Good At Falling to me because it was a *necessary* album.

i made and collected stuff

i made and amassed many artifacts that one day i can look back on and remember what a wild ride it has been. some favorites are my procuring of the pixel art heart ring from the ME! mv (a nod to my tsl days..), as well as the evil eye ring.. i didn’t physically make this but the eye theory made the taydar podcast and there’s nothing i enjoy more in this world than making someone giggle and i just love that the episode exists. making that kaylor straw was 👌 working on a mock-up of the golden locket has been very satisfying. i started incorporating fun kaylor winks into my artwork as well which was fun, and i also commissioned a collage from the very talented and lovely valheria and i couldn’t have asked for anything better 🥰

wildin in the TS7 tag was the best.

i made this observation that there’s this type of cocoon that looks like a cobra, which transforms into a butterfly over a period of 13 days, and like, the post got so many notes and i just had a lot of swiftie eyeballs all of a sudden on my blog which led to some hilarity. but honestly i just love geeking out over theories and it’s fun to get to do that as fans of taylor at large. things felt warm and effervescent.

my newspaper subscription

i subscribe to the TTB Times and let me just say the submissions and anons this year were overwhelmingly a delight to read through every day. also like, we did get cued in to stuff before album release and i am just thankful that there are people out there both who want to give us that and people who work to help them give us that. thank you ttb for moderating your blog (my newspaper of choice) however it is that you do and to everyone that contributed to her blog.

the whole lead up to the ME! video release

so glorious... but particular the hour before. i was rushing to pick up my kid from school and suddenly i kept getting messages from people that taylor was covering her face and framing her eyes, and i was like oh please yeah sure BUT THEN when the snake in the video had a blank eye like i don’t think you guys understand i had to wait at a bus stop and exchange pleasantries with the other moms but it was a *five alarm fire* in my mind

cause shade never made anybody less gay

stealing away to listen to YNTCD for the first time and hearing Taylor Alison Swift use the word gay in a released song for the first time was a transcendental moment

karlie’s hand in the YNTCD mv.

‘nuff said

daisies. daisies everywhere.

taylor said daisy kaylor rights, and she said it everywhere. *everywhere*. cannot, will not, get over how blessed we are.

gay gay gay gay gay.... taylor’s

sorry not sorry that wiz khalifa collab with elohim on her track FYM was ethereal and i still hope it’s a part of the preshow playlist for Lover Fest

clue hunting in klossy videos and karlie ads

call me a corporate shill all you want like, there’s always a little something in there and i also enjoy the little flickers of goofy karlie that jump out from time to time. and i know this is not the case for everyone but post eyepocalypse, karlie leaning in, winking that eye of hers time and time again was just pique comedy for me and it always made me chuckle. the brands karlie has repped have been really laying it on thick too and it’s been a joy to see. when taylor does it with her music it’s art, and for me karlie’s media presence is a form of art too 😌

oh kaptain my kaptain

kimby liked a comment of mine on her insta which was a distinct honor and privilege 😌 and really she was dropping clues left and right through spring up until she got her snazzy new job and things calmed down 🥰 of which i am so proud talk about an on brand job! also partially clearing the air about my TSL theory and the lead up to clearing that air was quite fulfilling for me and i am forever grateful for the time we shared. and to this point, the seesters in general (and kurt omg) have been quite active all year and we don’t deserve it but they’ve stuck around and it’s been calming.

album cover art release on the livestream

LIKE I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE NEVER HAD A FOURTH WALL BROKEN SO DULY

i love you forever, thank you for everything

when taylor came to visit tokyo this year i was basically reenacting the swamp scene from OOTW trying to get a ticket to the secret event... i listened to ME! on LINE MUSIC for over 2000 plays, i bought multiple CD’s, it was such an ordeal and then to not have a ticket after all but still putting on my thinking cap and managing to figure out where the event was while i was at disney sea and literally running from disney sea to the venue in high heels with The Man playing on my phone was oscar-worthy and actually *being correct* and the moment i knew i was correct and how i knew i was correct was so amazing 😉 and i play by the rules so i didn’t try to get in without a ticket and i didn’t lurk. but just to have figured it out and validated it was such a thrill. seeing her on TV live was amazing as well ///

lost in japan, reprise

oh and, last year for rep tour there was this theory i had which didn’t pan out but it had to do with the clues i thought shawn mendes was dropping through autumn 2018 and anyway that’s a story for another day but as i was bopping around town, looking for lockets, staying in rooms i have no business being in, drinking lots of whisky...just to know that while i was doing *everything but* successfully meeting taylor, she literally phoned shawn and had him record lines for that eye theory remix like, i will never ever, like, guys. guys. 😂 it’s too perfect for words. the world is weird like that sometimes.

Lover

and omg Lover the album? i absolutely love lover and i loves that honeymoon period of theorizing and parallel unearthing that we did and i love how slightly creepy-cute it is and i love the whole wabi-sabi thing going on and i absolutely love every song on the album, every one, they all have so much meaning to me... and each one is teeming with little blips and bloops and sound samples and seconds of silence and i love all the brass instruments and so many lush moments... i guess my shortlist (in no particular order) would be the archer, lover, i think he knows, daylight, cruel summer, false god, cornelia street, ME! (yea i really like me 🥰). and to think about everything that went in to the album and the thrill of what it might have been and the vastness of what we don’t know, but like, the weight of that potential?? it’s like this vast pastel and black abyss of drowsy and deep feelings and i love every inch of it. it’s a vibe that reflects so much of what this year has been for me and i’m happy to have existed in this time to have had it with me.

jesus this has gotten too long, and i still have like 24 more things to write out but um, basically, as i’m sure you’ve been able to assume? i wanted to say that despite 2019 being somewhat of a slasher film affair for our fandom, i still had a goddamn great time this year and i hope everyone can find some good memories and relive them as well 🥰

#kaylor #much love to you all!!#all eyes on us

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stardust-revengers · 4 years

Text

heaven is a place on earth. bucky barnes x reader.

request: none.

A/N: this is briefly based on the song “heaven is a place on earth”(obvi) this listen to it while reading! I haven't written in ages so please bare with me, its shitty I wrote this at 6am after an all nighter on my notes app on my phone so its bad I have no request so please request and tell me how you thought of this here! im rewriting a whole new master list don't be afraid to request! feedback would mean the world to me! in my world endgame never happened they fought thanos and won and they all live happily in the compound I'm in denial the end.

warning: mentions of blood (minor like not even anything) fluff, kinda angsty but ends fluffy trust me I gotchu.

summary: they say heaven is a place on earth, its what you make of it that makes it heaven.

wordcount: 1.4k.

words bolded are words from the song.

ooh baby do you know what that’s worth?

bucky barnes didn’t think he could ever find love.not after hydra after, the war after thanos he didn’t think he deserved nor believed in the concept of love in general.m, he saw it as a fairytale parents would tell their children about, something for them to hold on to in the darkness of the world to make some light appear in it. but bucky didn’t have any room for light in his abyss of darkness or so he thought. until he met you.

you were an avenger. a trainee a newbie a rookie whatever you wanna call it. Tony caught sight of you when rumors of a vigilante came to light and requirted you into the team with some training and help from the earth's mightiest heroes you were able to kick ass of many in just a couple of months. yet the rookie name stuck for some reason yet it didn’t bother you much it only bothered you when james buchanan barnes would call you that. you looked up to him you admired him and saw how great of a man he was even if he didn’t see it himself.

you saw how he’d care for his loved ones, and put others needs before his, you saw how he was trying to make due with what he has left of his world, how he was a broken man but a fighter, and god did you love him for it. of course he didn’t know you saw him as if he was heaven itself.

ooh heaven is a place on earth.

you two had been pining after each other for awhile, chasing each other without the other noticing the actions. he trained you and taught you everything truth be told if you asked barnes himself he’d say he fell in love with you the day you talked back to sam bird brain wilson himself. he quickly became your friend you were there for him when he needed you, through nightmares through, missions through screams, and cries and laughter and joy. He trusted you to see the real him. he saw you as an angel sent from the heavens

they say in heaven, love comes first.

of course he didn’t want to tell you at first that he loved you? how could he? you are his friend his savior his safe haven, his heaven, how could he mess you up, the one good thing in his life with his darkness and demons? he thought. how can he drag down the most important thing in his life to him down to his level? but how can he not fall in love with you? your laugh your smile your voice your skin your hair the way you smile or smirk at him when you catch him humming the playlist you made for him the way you are always there for him or your friends the rest of your team and family the way you are loyal to them the way you would do anything to protect him. especially him and how can you not see how madly in love he was with you?

we’ll make heaven a place on earth.

bucky didn’t think he would go to heaven. not after everything he did. not after the lives he took. even after hydra being an avenger means you can’t always save everybody. and sometimes that moment you can't always spare everybody. lives were to be taken at times no matter how badly the situation. yet you were always there to comfort him after every mission. to wipe the blood away to wipe the scars the trauma.

his ocean eyes met yours as you peeled off his tact suit gently, you knew by his head hanging low not making eye contact after one time the dirt in his hair that he carried into the room, the blood seeping through his suit and scars all over his frame that this mission was a particularly bad one. you lead him to his shower turning on the water, turning to leave as you closed the door behind yourself, sitting on the edge of his bed you waited till he came out clean and fresh mission sweeped away as if it never happened, waited for him to recollect himself on his own and free himself form the mission. dark locks of his chestnut hair were pulled back still a little damp from the shower his body covered in soft sweats you bought for him as a birthday gift a couple months back. he looked at you as you sat there across the room. the silence between you two was comforting and normal like a warm feeling you get when you see the one you love.

in a few strides he climbed into bed, his bed with you in his arms softly. he held onto you praying you wouldn’t let go, praying you’ll never leave, pulling the covers over you both he moved way slightly to look at you and read your face.

ooh heaven is a place on earth.

face filled with love and certainty, you looked deep into his orbs seeing nothing but love and covered from the pain of his past in his eyes as he looked at you. you brought your hand up to his cheek and took his lips in yours he tasted of strawberries and coffee although that could be just you since you both had strawberries and coffee for a snack before his mission. he pulled you closer your bodies were flushed against each other. the flow of the kiss felt right, your lips moved in sync as they danced around each other it was soft and sentimental craving for love.

bucky pulled away slightly yours breaths heavy from ending the passionate kiss you tow just shared. Your breaths synced up catching your breath after that moment. your voice barely above a whisper “baby, do you know what you are worth?” it’s an inside saying between you two. the song. you showed him the song and after the first time he heard it he never stopped listening to it. you never knew why until he told you “it reminds me of you”.

oh baby do you know what that’s worth? ooh heaven is a place on earth.

“i don’t deserve you babydoll” his voice a raspy whisper, filled with pain it’s dreadful like he knows you deserve better than him. you are quick to shut him down silencing him with your lips once more connecting you swore you felt a spark between the two of you. “bucky barnes don’t you dare say that” your voice tsern and assuring, letting him know you aren't lying. another kiss this time to his nose “you are my heaven, james buchanan barnes and i only want you” you ran your thumb over his cheek and dragged it to venture over his lip as he kissed your finger gently, you leaned in and kissed his pink semi swollen lips once more.

we’ll make heaven a place on earth.

he brings you in to embrace you, to feel you again. because your skin on his is a safe place for him. your eyes meet again as you feel the coolness of his metal arm drape over your hips his fingers tighten around your hips, grabbing them just a tad. you know it's his way of feeling if you are actually there “are you real?” squeeze. your eyes meet and you can truly see the blue within his steal ones, like a faint prayer he wraps his arms around you bringing you close burying his face in the crook of your neck he leaves a small trail of kisses and pecks along your neck, you can feel his lips move against your skin stray pieces of his hair tickled your neck, as his smirk formed against your skin brooklyn accent deep and thick, as the words he spoke flowed out of his mouth just barely above a whisper, only audible to your ears only, into the silence and comfort of the room.

“ya know they say, heaven is a place on earth”.

tags under cut:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tagging ppl for attention: @thxnderclouds @hannie-c @avenging-natasha @be-cautious-around-bri @oreoshea4456 @sharonfuckingcarter @rh-girlonfire @hey-its-grey @asexualfandomsalt @buckybcrnes @damm-darcy @okayloki @i-eat-bread-and-cry-on-the-floor @the-quackson-claxon @stxrdustloki @hailshurricane @stringy-glitter @ladybugsfanfics @typicalangel @marvelc00kie35 @olivia-caliban @its-me-so-what @cyrusandhiscollaredahirts @ruinofkings @compulsionsnovel @theshadowfairie @buckyandstarlordandpietro @okaydacre @sophie-barnes26 @dreamer3196 @katyrollins @nathanduil @kiingocreative @tiktok-spideyy

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whatevenismyaestheticidk · 4 years

Text

Things I’ve heard high schoolers say pt 2

Person 1: But air doesn’t splash Person 2: How do we know that, Im splashing the air right now.

Person: Prove me wrong. Prove fish can’t see air.

Person: I think you underestimate just how poor I am.

Person: I just invented a new thing. No Romo. Like no homo but with romance cause I’m lonely. Get it?

Person: So yah I burned my hair cooking ramen.

Person: Well I figured he wasn’t an adopted iguana.

Person: Say it. You know god is watching.

Person 1 upon heading the news of George Bush’s death: Wait he’s still alive? Person 2: No he’s dead that’s the point.

Person: I got it. *five second pause* no I don’t got it.

Person 1: My name is (name), but you can call me yours. Person 2: Okay nice to meet you yours.

Person: Don’t drink it all fool.

Person: Bruh you could literally turn in a gay fanfic and he’d give it an A.

Person: Bruh, what is this triangular accusation?

Person 1:It’s call physics. Person 2: Yah but I don’t take Physics hence they should not apply to me.

Person 1: Discreet. Person 2: No discr-yeet *dabs*

Person 1: Be impressed with my ability to bull shit. Person 2: I mean, it’s gotten you this far.

Person: Why do I feel like finals are lowkey Russian roulette? Like okay I made it through most of them but I still have a few pulls of the trigger to go and one of them might get me.

Person 1: Murder. Just do it. Person 2: I didn’t know that nike was sponsoring murder.

Person: How do mermaids reproduce if they’re just like conjoined legs?

Person 1: Frozen Yogurt Person 2: Fro yo Person 1: Frozen YOgUrt Person 2: Fro Yo Person 1: FROZEN YOGURT

Person: All I have to do to commit suicide is jump from my parents expectations to my grades.

Person 1: I mean yah I cheated on that test. Person 2: Man your love life it DOOMED!

Person: I was seeing if I was tripophobic by repeatedly stabbing my finger with my pen.

Person: You do know that crickets exist during the day right?

Person 1: Hey (person 2), we’re friends right? Person 2: ….. What do you want. Person 1: You know, that sandwich looks real good. *person 2 hand them the sandwich* OMIGOD THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU!

Person: Omigod (person’s name) is going through puberty!

Person: If you pulled my ear I would have ripped out your nostril.”

Person 1: She’s attacking me! Person 2: No, he’s beating a woman, that’s not polite.

Person 1: I know many things! Person 2: like what? Person 1: ..... Person 2: my point.

Person: My shoes will be sparkly red stilettos. Fight me Dorothy.

Person: umm hello Christmas miracle even though I’m not Christian. Come at me 15 years from now!

Person 1: you’d make a really good baldie Person 2: yah you have a really rest head shape

Person: you know teletubbies? Yah that but compressed.

Person 1: I mean how will you become American? Person 2: paint me white, I’ll get a passport.

Person 1: I’m so funny. Person 3: it’s hard not to be when your life is a joke.

Person 1: So I’ve decided that my new career choice is to make school specific memes Person 2: That's Plan A? Yeash... at least Plan B lands you some cash

Person: I’m so small and bitter I’m like a human expresso

Person: You know what I’d name a baby kangaroo if I had one? David Jowie.

Person: I’m just saying that the orange red glitter crayon is you.

Person: I feel like a 1940’s schoolgirl who goes to an all girl finishing school where embroidery is a required class.

Person: I started high school with straight A’s, now I’m not even straight.

Person: Yeah, I’d swear by comic sans.

Person: (Persons name)stop being depressy and you’ll be more sucessy

Person: You can totally be insecure and self absorbed at the same time.

Person 1: Are you kids okay? Person 2: Besides crippling depression yeah.

Person: I don’t know it’s just giving me pig vibes.

Person: What drugs where the animators for “Pink Elephants on Parade” on?

Person: long story short I make like a semi hot guy.

Person: If I where pregnant id just be like 'you put this thing inside of me, you're helping me until it's out.'

Person: These girls asked me what type of guys I like and being the simple gay I am, I completely blanked

Person 1: why do you read on your phone if you get carsick at 20 minutes? Person 2:Because it works for the first 19 minutes.

Person: Three Indians, a Thai, a Colombian, and an American walk into a bar. Just kidding they aren't old enough to drink. Three Indians, a Thai, a Colombian, and an American walk into a school cafeteria...

Person: I can't do alcohol cause I'm not of age but I can do drugs because they're illegal for everyone.

Person 1: you can't have a breakdown, it's the third day of school. Person 2:... so?

*Group of kids singing Bohemian Rhapsody in twelve different keys* Person: For gods sake choose a key!

Person: For gods sake that was complicated. You didn't need to send out a survey to see which episode of which season of which show to watch.

Person: Honestly I'd chose stab over dab any day.

Person 1: She said she'd throw me out of the window. Person 2: She never did. Person 1: She never did.

Person: What language is this? *pause* Oh wait it's English.

Person 1: I mean it's pretty hit or miss. Person 2 from across the courtyard: I guess they never miss, huh?

Person: Chu-chu bitch. I’m a train.

Person after loosing game of kahoots: I’m going to ka-shoot myself.

Person: So basically I need to learn Hungarian for a song.

Person: No one screams their sneeze, its not human

Person: If I where a mosquito I would bite you and you’d get malaria and die.

Person: That tide pod aesthetic.

Person: No I loved Barney, Barney was my bo.

Person: If I where my own boyfriend I’d dump me.

Person: It's already a really good song but then it's dubstep so it's extra good.

Person: No one is EVER to old for coolmathgames.com

Person 1: Why are you using a poon? Person 2:….. Person 1: WHY ARE YOU USING A POON?!

Person 1: I’ve been blonde for 16 years. Person 2: So what? I’ve been brown for 16 years and you don’t see me coloring myself white!

Person: Yes. Scrape the sweat off my hand.

Person: No one cares about a square cube of water.

Person: We’re melanin intoxicated.

Person: Well my life may be a mess, but at least I’m not doing drugs. Yet.

Person: Negative 13 out of 10, do not recommend.

Person: Yah that’s gunna have to be a no from me.

Person: Fool me once......fool me twice.......fool me as many times as you want, my first name is dumbass.

Person 1: Ya know, I think the Americans have the order of dates right JUST BECAUSE you can do 4/20/2019. Person 2: Okay but they’re still wrong though.

Person with AirPods: And where are YOUR AirPods? Thats what I thought you broke bitches.

Person: Salem witch trials bitches.

Person: La Croix, the AirPods of the soda world.

Person: Who needs a thermometer when you have… your hands!?

Person 1: It’s time to bring back SEXY MASQUERADE BALLS Person 2: It really is. I need an excuse to wear an incredibly uncomfortable dress that's so big I can't even walk through doorways. Person 1: And to wear a swan inspired mask that doesn’t cover enough of my face to deem myself totally anonymous enough to be half as bold and daring as i plan on acting that night but everyone else is on board we’ll all just forget about it the next day. Person 2: That's to specific for you to have made up on the spot, you've thought about this.

Person: It was lady Macbeth that drugged and made the guards drunk, without her Macbeth would just be like “I guess I’ll stab him???” Person: It’s like playing where’s Waldo but the page is India and I’m Waldo.3Person: Why are there so many frowny faces everywhere?

Person: This group chat is weird. It's either homework, deep philosophical conversations, or memes, there's no in between.

Person 1: Honestly, where DID it come from Person 2: The endless abyss that is the internet.

Person: Are you really blaming our generational depression on Jake Paul?

Person 1: Oh. My. God. Guys. Keep your carbon dioxide away from my computer. Person 2: But sharing is caring. Person 1: But my computer doesn’t need this kinda of negativity in its life right now.

Person: Sweetie, if you think I’m going to stop wearing my favorite dress just because you kissed me in it, you are dead wrong.

Person with a metal straw: I don't drink broke.

Person: My whole life has become that sock on the floor. It's just there. When did life screw us over and then just ex? I’m just gonna write a book, and the last sentence will be life screwed them over and then exed. A story of the main character who gets screwed over, so I can get that 'it be like that sometimes' reaction.

Person in group chat: Positivity- I will make you feel better about being an idiot. Self Doubt- I will highlight all of your mistakes and set low standards for you so you'll never be disappointed. Me to Self Doubt- I'm listening...

Person 1: Sadly the disappointment never goes away... Person 2: Man we're a sad lot this time of year.

Person 1:It’s almost my favorite time of the year Person 2:Ahh yes. Singles awareness day, also known as chocolate sales at Walgreens eve, also known as... Valentine's Day. Person 1:... Oh... I meant rainy season.

Person: Being antivax is like swimming in shark infested waters because you're afraid the bridge could break lmao.

Person: I learned how eat a kumquat this weekend.

Person: It’s so sticky. It’s like clear cheese.

Person: Hamburger helper? More like hamburger help me pass this class.

Person 1: So I slipped on a grape… Person 2: You got K.O.’ed by a grape (person’s name), how does it feel.

Person 1: Look at me, I’m fine. Person 2: Well how many drugs did you take. Person 1: Several.

Person 1: Did you just say it’s ALMOST FEBRUARY? Person 2: Yes, it’s January 72nd.

Person: I knew your comedic standards where low, but poop jokes? Really?

Person: What? So are you insinuating the fact that reliablest isn't a word?

Person 1: [bitter old man voice] back in my day, tik tok was a kesha song. Person 2: Back in my day we had wires attached to our AirPods.

Person: There's a reason rainbows aren't straight. Just saying.

Person reading sheet music and seeing mf crescendo: I forgot that mezzo forte was a thing for a second so I thought it said mother fucker as a crescendo but mood

Person: He looks like a fine piece of toasted white bread.

Person: If life hasn't given me a fist bump by now, why should I give life one?

Person: we all died in 2012 this is hell.

Person 1: Who wants a pamphlet on condoms? Person 2: Why do you have this? Do you collect them? Person 1: Yah it’s my hobby. I have this one, one on HIV and one on teenage pregnancy.

Person: We live a society where reading about assassins and gory details is a hobby.

Person: Stop breathing so loudly on my thumb!

Person 1: I’m the comic relief. Person 2: For what? Person 1: Myself.

Person1: Who’s your valentine this year? Person 2: Me, myself and I. Person 1: Wow three valentines, you really can’t keep them away can you?

Person: Why do women gotta get their period, why not men. I wish I was born a seahorse.

Person 1: No we can’t all fit, her car is smol. Like you. Person 2: Says you miss 5 foot nothing lmao. Person 1: Hey we’re the same hight so says you miss 5 foot nothing.

Person: No, that’s cheating no emotionally disabling people.

Person 1: Why is it that we’re talking about someone burning eggs on two different group chats. Person 2: Hey I didn’t burn them. Person 3: Cause why not?

Person 1: That’s not how an Australian accent works. Person 2: This is why I’m not Australian, I don’t have the koala-fications.

Person 1: I’m Indian, numbers run through my blood. Person 2: That’s like saying I’m going to marry my cousin just because I’m white.

Person: So I ate veggies and hummus for lunch but then I counterbalanced it by eating a spoon full of straight Nutella.

Person: Seagulls, California Pigeons, what’s the difference?

Person 1: I humbly apologize and request your forgiveness. Person 2: I humbly decline your request for forgiveness.

Person: I think I’m permanently stuck somewhere between “If you mess with me I’ll fight” and “If you mess with me I’ll cry.”

Person 1: It was implied! Person 2: What’s implied is your inability to accept that fact that I’m right!

Person 1: I got lazy because I was eating Pringles. Person 2: She values Pringles more than me.

Person: Yo, you be the crazy ex girls they be talking about in memes.

Person: I swear (persons name) if I hooked up with squidward in your dream your subconscious and I need to have a little talk.

Person: You get to die, and you get to die! Everybody gets to die!

Person: How do you just add a child?

Person 1: Look at this ink based pencil. Person 2: A pen?  Person 1: This egg is all broken. Person 2: It’s like you then, you both broke under the pressure.

Lakshmi: Don’t force your opinion, voice it.

Person 1: If I where a fruit, which one would I be? Person 2: Sushi. Person 1:… Sushi isn’t a fruit.

Person: I mean it’s not straight up “Yo come here I’m gunna kill you.”

Person: Bye gays, bye (other girls name).

Person 1: No (person B) stop. Just shut up. You’re making me loose brain cells. Person 2: But… Person 1: No. Just no.

Person: Stop. That is non-consensual pizza eating.

Person 1: Cheese is not a vegetable! Person 2: Well it’s not a meat either! Person 3: Guys… It’s dairy.

Person: Idiots have priority over just regular dumb people

Person: God melted the polar ice caps just to make it rain for Noah then refroze them. I don’t know (kids name) I’m not god!

Person: You and I will go out, and leave them to their raw fish rolled in sea salad.

Person: Does anyone else get really energized when they change their room? Just me? Okay.

Person: I hope you know I will diss you guys to the end of the earth.

Person: Bruh talk to (person’s name) I don’t know sh… *notices teacher looking at her*…niahhh.

Person 1: The thing is, I don’t want to be 80 that’s rough. Person 2: Then just die at 50.

Person: You’d be scrambled eggs with hair.

Person: Seeing you two fighting, it’s like seeing a piece of light fighting a black hole.

Teacher: What can you tell me about probability? Student 1: I hate it. Student 2: Dont you mean you? Student 1: Yes both.

Person: My brain has the dumb I’m sorry

Person 1: If my first word was no, I’m assuming that’s foreshadowing for them my family disowns me after I renounce religion and systemic abuse. Person 2: Or…. You just need to make sure your last word is yes. Person 1: Yes to what though? Person 2: ‘Are you dying?’ Yes.’ Pessimism, just your style. Person 1: That’s true.

Person: My parents don’t message me, they’re the type of people who CALL. Where did I get my social anxiety from??

Person: Well guys it's been great knowing you I’m just going to drown now.

Person: I figured out a new diet regime, it’s called sleeping until noon and just not eating breakfast.

Person: The f on my birth certificate was the doctor paying their respects.

Person: Chocolates with raspberry filling are the sole reason I’m still alive.

Person 1: Isn’t Latin a dead language? Person 2: You’re a dead language!

Person: Hydrate before you diedrate.

Person 1: you have a son named Spider-Man? Person 2: what noooo! Person 3: well don’t expose her!

Person: That awkward moment when you just really don’t care about people.

Person 1: (Person 2) and I will be over here with my virgin margarita and her water. Person 2: Hey! I want apple juice! Person 3: Why are you not drinking (Person 1)? Person 2: Because she’s to single, and also she’d strip. Person 1: Woahh! How dare you assume that I’m not drinking because I’m to single?

Person 1: Ya know, I think I’m going to have to jazz hands my way through hell. Person 2: All of us will.

Person: Brown town children, y’all find someone in India?

Person 1: Wow you have the best backup singers. Person 2: I only hire the best, at least 5 stars in yelp. Person 1: Well good because that’s the sound they’re making.

Person: The cold kills everything, it’s like my heart.

Person 1: Remember the rolls I brought to school last year that I used to give you? The ones with paneer and the really good spices? Person 2: Yah? Person 1: This is not at all the same thing.

Person 1: What’s stevia? Person 2: It’s like sugar but no.

Person 1: Yeetus Skelettus. Person 2: Fetus Deletes? Honey, that’s called abortion.

Person: Anything for you. That’s what you said. Anything for you. But when I ask for just one bite of your pasta? No!

Person 1: I've written 1,300 words and don’t have a thesis statement or topic question Person 2: Yeah, you need to figure that out.

Person 1: you know I had a dream that you where in a romantic relationship with a toaster. Person 2: wasn’t that your relationship with (ex’s name)? Person 1: you’d have more chemistry with a toaster.

Person: Can people read colors? Cause I am ooo.

Person: It’s like hands but medusa

Person: You look like a cardboard jellyfish that’s brown

Person 1: Two of us like boys. Person 2: We all like boys. Person 1: Two of us like ONLY boys.

Person: you’re like a reverse plant. You convert oxygen into carbon dioxide.

Person: Shhhhh. I’m not in physics, let me be dumb in peace.

Person: Why are you laying down like some greek god, get up you brown child.

Person 1: Do all of you just think you’re going to be single? Person 2: I already am why not keep the streak going to get a high score?

Person: and now cracks of light are coming out from around the sides like some sort of computer Jesus!

People 1 and 2: Rock Paper Scissors Person 3: shoot me please.

Person 1: not since 9/11 you can’t. Person 2: dang. You just tossed your whole country just to prove a point. I’ve never been so proud.

Person 1: what is an angle of depression? Person 2: it’s my life. Person 1: no it’s you because it’s not straight.

Person: Boom. Lesbians.

Person 1: Well what if two rocks just washed up at the same time and humans. Person 2: Evolution.

Person: Watermelon isn’t good anymore, I swear its just water with food coloring.

Person: You being dumb makes me want to correct you, sos too being dumb cause I’m on vocal rest.

Person: well (persons name) who have you a mouth?

Person: Teachers that grade late work deserve all the love and cookies and cake in the world.

Person 1: honestly I just want to die right now. Person 2: same. Literally same.

Person: I just feel like a single molecule lost in space.

Person: who’s gunna stop me? God? Damn him to hell.

Person: the line is not actually straight it’s like (students name)

Person 1: It’s your favorite sleep deprived gay. Person 2: But I’m my favorite sleep deprived gay. Self love. Person 1: We Stan.

Person 1: Why do you have a tool? Person 2: Because my hair is moist.

Person: eating lead was an otherworldly experience

Person 1: I have everything stolen from me 2: at least you have the tiniest bit of dignity left 3: what dignity? 1: exactly

Person 1:( holding up katsup) does this go on salad?

Person:I’m turning red! Me! A brown girl!

Person: I’m not trying argue that we should date, I’m just saying.

Person 1: what’s your biggest turn on? Person2 : a light switch Person 2: or then leaving.

Person 1: what is the most attractive retire on someone Person 2: my own face

Person: you’d be that one bar do white chocolate that just sits in the feidge because no one wants it

Person: that’s like saying I’d rather see your shirt than your face.

Person: why would I shut up when I can shut (kids name) down

Person: Subtle. Gay. Vibes. I’m telling you.

Person: just watch me write my ee on all the reasons why nick caraway is gay. Just watch me.

Person: Why are you stereotyping. What if the body doesn’t want trucks, what if he wants to be a fairy.

Person: being ace is basically just eww no but like forever.

Person: Stop trying to science your way out of being wrong.

Person: even if you did ask me out I’d still say no so then you’d even be rejected by a trash can

Person 1: you can’t read cheese color. Person 2: yellow?

Person 1: Think about it like you’re brown Person 2: She is brown Person 1: Then act like it

Person: You’re not an ugly frog, you’re a beautiful human being. Person: I am. Very very dumb. And also. Bisexual.

Person: I was thinking of something smart but then I forgot what it was.

Person: I want to skip the crush phase and just make out with someone.

Person 1: The only way to get into the Holland family is to marry in through Paddy. Person 2: (Person 1’s name) this isn’t the royal family.

Person: Omigod you looked like the human version of squid ward.

Person: I want to be smart. Where can I learn smart stuff?

Person: But plant the seed and smoke the weed and chop the cane.

Peeeson 1: that is the definition of meter? Person 2: about 3 feet. Person 1: okay thanks America

Person 1: who’s Tom Holland? Person 2: Spider-Man you uncultured swine!!

Person: I am not a children

Person: Ohh dang yeah forgot chickens existed for a while

Person: Hey! Don’t narrate my water!

Person: I don’t read water.

Person: Think of it as a relationship. If you and your ex break up they are salty but you profit because you wanted to end it but if you end it weak, then y’all will argue back and forth and get nowhere with ending it while still exchanging insults.

Person: You know those really sexual mattress adverts?

Person: Oh please, you have the sexual appeal of an easy bake oven.

Person 1: weed is a gate way drug Person 2: YOURE A GATEWAY DRUG!

Person: (first, middle, last name), I love you to the end of the earth. But you are a daft child.

Person 1: She’s like that type of girl. She’s the long paragraph white girl. Person 2: Well that’s a niche if I’ve even seen one.

Person 1: swing you two fight is like watching two ants fight. Person 2: you friking piece of bacteria!

Person: I’m just an intellectual.

Person: I will murder your face off.

Person: that’s like a kilometer tall.

Person: It’s weird when I pet you horizontally.

Person: to be honest I thought those were rocks in a jar for the longest time. Turns out they weren’t.

Person: does she have a brother or gay tendencies

Person: I’m going to slap your hand like it’s a fricking spider.

Person: I like your face better blurry.

Person: every night at about midnight someone starts googling astrology

Person: I will kick you. I will murder your soul.

Person 1: I’m just going to marry a millionaire. Person 2: Where are you gunna finds a millionaire in this economy?

Person: Welcome to my tea party, there isn’t any tea to drink, but we have a lot of it to spill.

Person: Yah, it was something about sex or something.

Person: You’re all uncultured swines.

Person: I’m about as straight as a sine curve.

Person 1: They’re not Oreo’s you dumb head Person 2: I know that dumber head. Person 3 :Shut up dumbest heads

Person: As an ex foetus i can say with authority that if my mother had aborted me i wouldn't have known nor would i have given a fuck

Person: I’ve just accepted I’m going to fail this test. I’ve gone through the 5 stages of grief already.

Person: Yes I’m blind that’s why I need glasses fool.

Person: what the fork do you want you little son of a biscuit.

Person: Anyway now I’m taking Tylenol PM and I’m going to actually sleep tonight that’ll be fun.

Person: I need all the hoodies. ALL OF THEM.

2 notes · View notes

bladekindeyewear · 5 years

Text

Boots reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 5 - Meat Page 7

==>

Okay, time for Rose and Dirk to talk delicious politics or something.

Heh, customary show-end riots.

Rose, stop causing all of us undue alarm.

Ascending? Is she going to fade out into a concept or something???

Oh shit, Dirk’s doing something similar. Some sort of inevitability once God-Tier is reached or some such.

Dirk has a solution to the problem in the works. That’s... well, Rose already cautioned that that could be ominous. I hope it doesn’t involve decapitation. Or robot bodies, or turning her into an omniscient cueball or something.

==>

Okay, stage play time. I can see a weird-seeming text color choice for Caliborn down below, hm. Time to read down to there...

Ah, the classic finale-callback thumbs down. Nice.

...yeah, reinforcing the point he was trying to make a little less explicitly with his earlier finale of Homestuck that Lord English had really just, sort of, trapped them in this narrative that their ultimate reward would be to escape, realizing it never really mattered too much compared to their own long lives and happiness or something.

==>

Epilogue TWO?????? D:

Okay now it’s, like, Andrew commenting isn’t it.

Oh shit, it DOES suck them up and trap them? Huh. That explains how Jade was dealt with, I’d forgotten. Also because it was one of the huge goddamn unanswered fucking hugepoints that made it seem like a slap in the face when we were told it didn’t matter and-- yeah okay let me just keep reading.

Huh, broken glasses.

And, phew; the ages it takes is from an OUTSIDE perspective. Let’s see what it is from an inside perspective...

==>

Jaaaane!!! :D

Okay let’s read about Janey.

Mhmm, that’s not that surprising... Dirk knew that Karkat was going to run against Jane, but Jane didn’t, even though Dirk was ostensibly “working” for her. There’s definitely a plan here. Maybe it involves Jane and Karkat smooching publicly at the end. ...No, that’s just my wishful imagination talking, isn’t it.

Oh my god she’s screaming into a pillow at hearing she has competition. That’s adorable.

YES, JANE. UNDERESTIMATE KARKAT. YOU WILL FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM LIKE EVERYONE ELSE (though probably platonically). It does upset me that they’ve taken this long to really get acquainted, though; I’ve argued for years that their personalities are naturally compatible as the straight men for all their friends’ bullshit.

In fact, Jane is pretty sure that Karkat Vantas would probably literally burst into flame if too many people happened to look at him at the same time, like a vampire walking out into the sun.

Yes, but he’d get over it. And be a flaming president or something.

In fact, Jane cannot remember a single conversation she’s ever had with him that wasn’t about the economy. She thinks back to one time at John’s eighteenth birthday when Dave engaged her in a rigorous and rather one-sided debate about deregulation and the failure of “neoliberal austerity measures” until Karkat had to come over and put his hands over his roommate’s mouth to make him stop talking.

Oh my FUCKING god, it’s true. Dave’s appropriately liberal in the modern, Krugman-esque, statistically grounded way. Karkat has my vote already.

She’d be happy to accept a graceful, temporary defeat and let Karkat play president for a couple of years. After all, unlike her, he was not immortal.

Hey fuck you. Also, why the FUCK haven’t they used one of the myriad likely ways to extend Karkat’s lifespan basically indefinitely yet??? Heck, JANE could probably do it with Life powers if she crawled back out of her own butt! We already know the Condesce could extend other trolls’ lifespans with weird troll powers so Life powers are almost certainly enough to suffice. >:(

Ohhh, so maybe Jane is just, like... slightly traumatized by trolls? And thus a little tiny bit predisposed against trusting them cause of the Condesce? :(

Interesting how she views her past reliance on / pursuance of Jake as something that made her “weak” specifically.

Okay, I’m getting a slightly uncomfortable vibe that Jane is willing to almost play at seduction with Jake falsely to get his endorsement on--

And she’s willing to do more than that, too.

Okay FUCK, JANE. GET YOURSELF UNDER CONTROL. I’m starting to believe the shittalking the others have given about you! You’d better shape up by the end of this epilogue or what have you.

==>

Okay, trapped John can hear the other three through the walls of their prison or something.

Conversation and musings, conversation and musings.....

Wait, Jade LIVES with Dave and Karkat in that SAME HOUSE and they didn’t even mention it??!?? What is even up with their thing.

Heh, John’s thinking he really could have used a nice kismesis riling him up to better himself. That’s what they’re for, really.

There there, John.

==>

Oh my fucking GOD, Jane rolls with supply side economics??? TAKE. HER. DOWN.

And Jade is just... here? Huh.

Yeah they DEFS weren’t listening.

JADE: especially when JADE: there are much better things we could all be doing with our mouths.....

HOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT. JADE IS SO INTO EITHER OF THEM THAT THEY CAN’T TAKE IT, CAN THEY. THAT’S FUCKING AMAZING OH MY GOD

Her tail swishes from side to side

SINCE WHEN DOES SHE HAVE A FUCKING TAIL HOW IS THAT SUDDENLY CANON

I’M NOT MAD IM JUST SURPRISED

Wasn’t that something that the ask-responses from Andrew said she canonically DIDN’T have or what the fuck

Since I guess it wasn’t confirmed IN CANON he just decided he liked it enough to offer it here or???? I DON’T KNOW????

Wow why am I all worked up by this all of a sudden. It’s just transferring from her earlier line isn’t it.

three of her bras

Okay no nevermind Andrew’s just fucking with us.

...Even though this can probably still be considered canon. Which only makes how he’s fucking with us work even better, really. I mean, why WOULDN’T he lob this at us on the ten year anniversary and watch us squirm, really. There’s no incentive not to.

--oh wait wait never mind reading further these are just bras from different days she threw over the couch. PHEW. I thought for a second that we were dealing with dog anatomy stuff that would REQUIRE multiple bras on her. Jesus. I wonder if Andrew intentionally phrased things so some people would think that for a minute.

JADE: also you know trolls dont actually have two dicks dave thats an offensive stereotype

Pffffff

Wait, is it that Dave and Karkat’s relationship isn’t quite full-hearts sexual and Jade is incessantly shipping them?? :O

because that’d be hilarious too?? --*reads*

YESSSS JADE BEING SUPER STAT WHIZ WITH HER SUPER PARTOMNIDOG SPACE BRAIN YES

The thing about Jade Harley is that she’s not as good at personal things as she is at other things. Like science, or mastering fraymotifs, or kissing, the last of which she has definitely put a lot of levels into over the past few years because, well, what else are you supposed to do with immortal godhood once you hit the age where the dog hormones start kicking into overdrive?

f uck

dog hormones

i’m wheezing

Alright, Jade’s springing a thorough relationship talk on them. That’s cool. Also she’s throwing statistics in there and I LOVE that now that Jade is older we’re reinforcing just how scary science smart she is, I can’t wait to see other people roleplaying her properly because of it too.

...Yeah Jade would definitely date a chess couple

Jade sighs and crawls closer. She takes one of Karkat’s hands in hers.

JADE: i think wed all work good together

AAAAAAAA :D :D :D

JADE: and i think weve been dancing around that for years now JADE: i wanna try dating for real KARKAT: HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED KARKAT: SORRY IF WHAT I’M ABOUT TO SAY TOTALLY BLOWS YOUR MIND KARKAT: DATING A SINGLE PERSON, FOR MORE THAN HALF A SWEEP, FOR REASONS OTHER THAN INITIATING THE CONCUPISCENT EXCHANGE OF FLUIDS?

PFFFFFFFFFFFFF OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS IS PERFECT

Jade being

literally the thirstiest person in this ENTIRE CAST OF CHARACTERS

to the point that everyone’s calling her out on it

in something that’s virtually goddamn canon

holy fucking shit I love everything. I love life. Living in a universe where this hilarious shit happens is fun.

....pFFFF JADE DIDN’T KNOW OBAMA WAS REAL THIS IS AMAZING

Ooh, dueling god-tier powers for petty reasons.

OH NO DICK DRAWINGS ARE LIKELY IMMINENT

THAT OR A CHART

OR BOTH

...yeah her hair would get everywhere, wouldn’t it.

yes make fun of ship names some more

What Jade leaves in her wake is not quite the emotional scorched-earth situation that she was going for, but a few of her needles have definitely gotten under some skin. Dave and Karkat both stare after her, silently caught in their own private rationalization spirals.

So this whole time Jade’s been all “JUST KISS ALREADY” and they’ve been all “what no” and now she’s just laid it all out in the open and left them to it. Yeah that sounds about like what would’ve happened.

Aaaand of course, since this is Dave and Karkat, they just choose to stall some more and play video games. Jade really DOES complete this relationship with her pushing them to accept reality and stop downplaying their own feelings and self-esteem and all. But that’s what I thought would happen BEFORE I even read any epilogue stuff so I’m biased.

==>

Pff, Vriska time.

You’ve now got two bitches of either gender at your side

Vriska, shame! Don’t use that kind of language!!

Yep, this version of her didn’t learn her lesson and is still pretty much completely delusional.

Alright, Real Terezi™ is still flying out in the abyss trying to scoop Vriska out of this jam, cool, cool.

Flailing and spinning, screaming, not being able to see the final event or whatever-- someone save her already we know it’s gonna happen!

JOHN: Emerge from the juju.

Oh. Well, that’s uncomfortably in line with earlier presumably-discredited theories. About John saving Vriska from the black hole the Green Sun left in its wake and all. :|

Yawns too wide and snaps in half? The moment he was dreaming about?

==>

Oh hai Jake. This really IS the perfect time to get to see some attempted-exploitative discomfort between Jane and you. I mean that! The narrative timing is pretty hilarious.

The sunset has turned the head offices of Crockercorp into a shimmering glass monolith—a beacon, if you will, of the future, visible for miles in every direction.

Jane probably likes to think about it that way at least.

Wow, Jane REALLY sounds like she needs to be knocked down a peg or seven.

The whole place is candlelit, and Jane is reclining on her desk, sprawled out like a lounge singer on a grand piano.

OH MY FUCKING GOD JANE STOP BEING A SLIMEBAG!!!! D: D: D:

Thank you, Jake, for coming through and tanking this.

This is not really the kind of conversation you initiate if you’re looking to extract a sexual deal out of someone. It is, however, the kind of conversation that you might have with a childhood friend who has become somewhat emotionally estranged from you.

THANK FUCKING GOD. Jane has been saved from herself for the moment.

Okay I see a whole bunch of paragraphs of black text down below just as these two are likely coming together for a kiss. Uh oh.

...Yep, kiss there. And, uh...

Okay whew, most of it is Jake privately soliloquy-ing to the narrative about the circumstances leading up to this. I can deal with that.

...Oh my god he keeps thinking of Dirk while getting in close to Jane. This is gonna blow up in his face isn’t it.

Reading on....

--Ah, yeah, he just realizes he’s more into Dirk I guess. Ouch. Ouch, Jane.

DIRK: Were you nice to him? JANE: Well, I... DIRK: I told you, you can’t be nice to Jake. JANE: ...

PPFffffffffff

DIRK: Why don’t you leave Jake to me?

Now ain’t that telling?

Ooh, getting down to plot business with Rose.

==>

Back to John. I see a bit that says “Listen” there, is he going to hear Vriska screaming? Or is Terezi going to pick her up? Since, like, I mean she has the jetpack and has been searching for her longer and stuff.

Yep, big ol’ LE tantrum. Though alt!Calliope seems at least as much at fault for the end of the universe as him, if not moreso.

Ah, right, Andrew wanted us to THINK he’d hear Vriska screaming just so he could troll us like that. Makes more sense, anyway.

Huh, the Juju just pops away.

OW. Down a spare Rose, just like that, huh? Probably part of why main Rose knew what the plan was supposed to be for all this.

Ah right, can’t use your Green Sun powers here, Jade.

OW. Another quasi-doomed side-character death.

Yep, you have to make a tough, leaderly decision and let go. :C --Oh crap, you saved her body. Are you gonna put the ring there or what, I’m not sure where that’s going plotways.

Pff, the whole fight going south just due to John losing his glasses... that’s pretty funny from a perspective.

Oh huh, real ghost Tavros gets nuked.

Oh shit, Meenah’s going in! Don’t die, I actually care about this version of you!!

--Ah, thrown out and fate unclear, that’s a bit better than clear death.

Hm, Davepeta vs English round two? I wonder what the purpose of all of this really is, anyway, beyond just a sense that some only implied-wrapped-up things are being actually wrapped up? This whole Meat arc? Is Candy going to be ultimately more important to everyone, as was part of the point, or? Huhhm.

Final Round!!

Hammer buffet!

Slight obligatory feelings allusion via hammer!

Oh no! VORE!!! D:

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < wrow you almost got vored to death

Phew, avoided

Ow, another decapitation. There’s a killing blow and being trapped forever in a black hole for LE to look forward to, though. Weren’t there theories about him being trapped forever at the center of that black hole or whatever? Huh. I mean there WAS the garbage disposal that his metaphorical Jigsaw-head gets stuck in early in the comic after all.

Alright, Davepeta sticks him in there? Cool.

Yeah, you just had to remind us that he’s going to be plunging into his dead sister’s gaping hole, didn’t you? >:|

Davepeta. How they were so unfettered and brave. How they sacrificed themselves by flying right into the black hole like...

Like a fucking piece of garbage, you can almost hear Dave saying. May God rest his soul.

Yup. Closing another callback. Why is it silent, though? Did the black hole stop sucking now that it’s gotten almost everything but John, or is it just his blackout? I mean, is the end of everything just a thing that “happens” (which is still pretty fine, Paradox Space had a pretty good run), or did it just stop, or is it yet to be resolved or re-John-creates-Paradox-Space’s-beginning-because-hes-the-only-thing-left-constituted if he inexplicably doesn’t die from his heroic wounds or? And Terezi definitely didn’t go flying around Paradox Space’s dying remains just to get sucked in too, right? I definitely haven’t seen the whole picture yet I guess.

==>

Alright, back to Rose... actually this post’s getting long so I’ll cut here and keep going in another post.

#Homestuck #Homestuck Epilogue #upd8 #Homestuck Liveblog #bladekindeyewear #BlastYoBoots

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littlelovelymemes · 6 years

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‘ when i figure out how to die without hurting my mom’s feelings it’s over for me, bitches ’ ‘ 420 stands for “4got 2 0pologize” ’ ‘ all millennials do is commit minor felonies and be gay ’ ‘ hoodies are one of the most powerful and underappreciated articles of clothing. cold? put on a hoodie. raining? put on a hoodie. no bra? put on a hoodie. nothing to wear? hoodie. cripplingly low self esteem? you already know. so versatile! so multifaceted! ’ ‘ i thought christmas was like… next friday or something its in like 3 days fuck ’ ‘ if you’re not in love with me by 00:00:00 jan 1 then just block me. i don’t need that kind of energy following me into the new year ’ ‘ who needs ghosts? haunt your own house. wander around your own living room wailing and crying ’ ‘ my kink is not opening messages and pretending theyre not there ’ ‘ u know when ur growing out of phases and mindsets but u haven’t found where exactly ur shift in identity is going yet? that’s tonight’s mood ’ ‘ me @ me: don’t start buddy don’t you dare ’ ‘ there are people you haven’t met yet who will love you ’ ‘ god knew what she was doing when she made bruno mars short if he had been tall he would be too powerful ’ ‘ motivation? haven’t heard of her in years how she doin ’ ‘ Do you think people with LED headlights know that everyone hates them? Like…really hates them in an oddly personal way? Do you think they know? ’ ‘ and the final mood for 2017 is: you know those days where you’re like, this might as well happen? ’ ‘ putting more importance into self care, spirituality, love and peace of mind. start with stretching and deep breathing. ’ ‘ dont forget to tell someone you love that you love them, thank people who deserve to be thanked, be more patient on people having a hard time, be more considerate, understanding, and be kinder, always. ’ ‘ do you think in the 1700s there were people who were like nah man Mozart’s a total sellout I only listen to peasants beating things with sticks it’s way more authentic ’ ‘ 2032 is gonna be my year just u wait ’ ‘ I want a “I made a playlist for you” typa love ’ ‘ @ 2018 the bar is literally so low ’ ‘ Just because you don’t look like somebody who you think is attractive doesn’t mean you aren’t attractive. 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What the fuck??” ’ ‘ my hands? ready to be held ’ ‘ Catch These Hands! with your hands. we’re holding hands now. this is nice ’ ‘ kinda weird that u can think about someone as much as u want and they have no idea ’ ‘ physically, yes, i could fight a bird. but emotionally? imagine the toll ’ ‘ I would rather wander around a store for 9 hours than ask an employee where something is and this I do not understand ’ ‘ my childhood, or, as i like to call it, the general abyss with one or two memories attached to it ’ ‘ i know ‘gay’ isn’t an emotion but let’s be real,,,,,,,,,it kind of is and i feel it 24/7 ’ ‘ babe get ready for a night on the town, i just found an old Subway gift card and there’s still $9.45 left on it ’ ‘ just because the past didn’t turn out like you wanted it to, doesn’t mean your future can’t be better than you ever imagined ’ ‘ i’m the person who’s 100% down for spontaneous adventures but also 100% down to lay in bed all day. i’m on both ends of the spectrum ’ ‘ this year has changed me more than I ever thought it would. ’ ‘ it’s ok to disappear for a lil while and get your shit together. ’ ‘ if you wanna love me hmu ’ ‘ calling me baby makes me so freakin weak ’ ‘ i’m that one guy on spongebob always screaming about his leg ’ ‘ remember to drink a fucking shit ton of water every miserable day of ur life ’ ‘ i just want someone who’s excited to make out with me and text me all the time. ’ ‘ never apologize for your giant dogs getting overexcited, if i get taken down by a 100 pound mass of fluff then that’s how i go. ’ ‘ when i figure out how to die without hurting my mom’s feelings it’s over for me, bitches ’ ‘ THIS GUY JUST ASKED ME WHAT MY NAME WAS AND I DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT HE SAID SO I SAID 4:45 ’ ‘ my blood is glow stick juice. thats why all my bones crack when i move. ’ ‘ are cute dates and rough sex too much to ask for ’ ‘ honestly, my goal in life is just to be a very warm person. i want to be as loving and as kind as i can be. ’ ‘ just a small dumb bitch…. living in a lonely ditch ’ ‘ you’re not selfish for wanting to be treated well ’ ‘ when y'all fake conversations in your heads do you sometimes say random sentences out loud too? i was just tying my shoes and said very sternly and loudly “i DO know how ants work, fucker” ’ ‘ true space facts: if u look up there it is ’ ‘ anyone else bummed they have 2 sleep alone tonight and uh not in some1s arms ’ ‘ how am i sensitive and a bitch at the same time ’

#rp meme #ask meme #sentence starters #inbox meme #indie rp #rp ask meme #rp sentence meme #askbox meme #rp ask box meme #inbox memes #rp inbox meme #inbox starters #rp sentence starters #sentence starter meme

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the-gay-in-the-way · 6 years

Text

“Why be Sad When you can be Even Sadder?”, Part one

So this is a fanfiction I accidentally wrote that revolves around a particular headcanon of mine based off of Thomas’s short, “My Remedy for the Blues!”.

The headcanon is this:

Virgil and Patton are the sides that really represent Thomas’s emotions, both good and bad.

Patton represents a lot of the main ones, including sadness.

So sometimes, just like I’m sure many people do, he just feels the need to be sad for no apparent reason.

Since Virgil is also an “emotional” side, he understands this better than the others.

So he and Patton had gotten into the habit of meeting up in private sometimes and just... letting themselves be sad together.

They watch sad movies and eat ice cream and listen to sad music and talk about whatever just generally makes them sad.

And then they eventually say goodbye and part ways, feeling a lot better after letting all of their emotions out, until the next time they meet up to be sad again.

I honestly love this little headcanon a lot and I was really just gonna write all of that down really quickly and go to sleep cus it was midnight when I started making this post and I was actually pretty tired at that point so sleep sounded GREAT, but then I really started to get into detail with the little fanon universe I intended for the headcanon to take place in and then suddenly I was writing an entire fic that’s probably gonna need a second part for the actual headcanon bit and it’s already four in the morning now and I’m SO sleepy but I have to finish this now because I’ve committed at this point and stopping would now be considered blasphemy to literally everything I represent as a human being.

So here we are.

I present to you a headcanon and a fanfiction that I had absolutely no intention of writing but ended up writing anyways.

I hope you enjoy.

(Or just ignore the rest of this post and only read the headcanon)

(It’s your choice)

(Btw this fic is purely platonic)

(But it is specifically platonic Moxiety at the moment)

(That will change in the future if I decide to write more for this little universe but it is what it is right now)

(I just love platonic Moxiety a lot ok)

(I need to cherish and protecc my soft beans)

(I’m crying now)

(I’m so tired)

(Anyways, whatever, do what you want)

(I’m just gonna go now and suffer from sleep deprivation tomorrow)

Virgil appears one day as a surprise to the others when he just suddenly runs into the room while they’re watching Thomas on the tv and shouts at Thomas with his warped voice to make him stop when he almost walks in front of a moving car.

Patton is delighted by the new addition of a side that seems to have the ability to save Thomas from harm simply by shouting at him.

Logan and Roman, however, are not.

They are upset that there is a side that can control Thomas at will.

So they quickly learn to hate him and try to keep him away from themselves, each other, and Thomas.

Patton isn’t ok with that but Virgil leaves before he can say anything to defend him, and the others use that as extra evidence to argue against Patton on the matter.

So Anxiety becomes an outcast and Patton is incredibly sad about losing the opportunity to befriend the new kid.

Until, one day, he runs into him in the kitchen.

Or falls into him, as the case happened be.

Patton is tired and it’s late but he’s also thirsty so he finds himself in the kitchen drinking some water.

Once he’s finished with his drink he goes to leave the room but ends up tripping over air and falls onto something that is a lot softer, warmer, and higher up than the ground.

As it turns out, Virgil had been going around the house to make sure nothing was wrong with the others(he always does this. Every night he waits until everyone goes to bed and then walks over to each side’s bedroom to check and make sure that they are alright. Sometimes they’re not and whenever that happens he tries to leave out little treats or gifts and finds ways to make the sides day easier the next day to help them feel a little better(all without them noticing it’s him doing it, of course)) and had noticed that Patton’s door was open and the side was nowhere to be seen. So he’d focused for a second and just barely heard someone shuffling around in the kitchen downstairs and had gone to check on the moral side, just in case there was somethjng seriously wrong.

By the time he reached the kitchen, Patton was putting his empty glass into the sink to be cleaned the next morning and was walking towards the entrance where Virgil was silently standing.

Virgil had planned on simply waiting until Patton left and just quietly watching him from the shadows as he returned to his room, but then Patton tripped and he found himself reacting without thinking.

Patton looked up after his fall and was surprised to see the new side, who he still didn’t know the name of yet, looking down at him with wide eyes and holding him carefully against his chest.

Not knowing what else to do in this situation, Patton spoke.

“...hello.”

And Virgil found himself responding without even meaning to because, what else was he even supposed to do in this kind of situation?

“...hi.”

“You caught me...”

“Yeah...sorry?”

Patton’s face scrunched up.

“What?”

And suddenly Virgil could move and think again and his brain was rapidly devolving into a panic because, oh my god I just caught morality I am holding morality I am holding one of the sides he is in my arms what is going on what just happened oh my gOD IM STILL HOLDING HIM I HAVENT LET GO YET WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME HE PROBABLY HATES ME LIKE THE OTHERS I JUST GRABBED HIM LIKE IT WAS NOTHING LET HIM GO NOW!

So Virgil quickly let go of the moral side and tried to step back.

Except Patton was also holding Virgil around the waist.

So, while Virgil stepped back, Patton simply ended up being dragged forward alongside him.

There was a very quiet moment of silence as Virgil looked down at the side still attached to him with shock and Patton blinked a couple times in surprise as he found himself becoming a little more horizontal to the ground while he continued to look up at the one supporting him.

And then Patton started to lose his grip and slide down Virgil’s body and onto the ground and Virgil did the only thing he COULD do in that situation.

He picked up Morality.

He did his best to be careful and quick as he grabbed the side from under his armpits and pulled him up off the ground for a moment before carefully placing him onto his own two feet.

Patton was still loosely holding onto Virgil and blinking rapidly in surprise as he was placed down again.

And another moment of quiet occurred as Virgil looked at the hands holding onto his shirt, seemingly on reflex, and tried to figure out if he should simply try to break away from them and run or if he should ask Morality if he was ok.

In the end, he ignored his own fear and decided that making sure the other side was alright took priority.

As always.

“Um...”

Patton blinked, still simply dumbfounded by being picked up by the side that didn’t actually look like they had the strength to do such a thing so easily, and Virgil continued talking.

“Are you...ok, Morality?”

The moral side blinked a few more times in silence as Virgil waited with some concern slowly building in his chest.

Then it was like a switch had been flipped and suddenly Patton was alive again.

“OH!”

The shout startled Virgil so much he ended up pulling the other against his chest again in some sort of protective act of instinct and Patton let out a surprised squeak and a giggle before wrapping his own arms around the new side once again as well.

Virgil stared at him with surprise after darting his eyes around to check their surroundings for danger.

“Morality?”

Patton giggled a little more before settling again and sending Virgil a smile that made him kind of want to just curl up on the floor and cry a little.

“Sorry, kiddo. I was just surprised is all. I didn’t expect someone to catch me when I was falling earlier and I definitely wasn’t expecting you to pick me up either so I just couldn’t figure out what to do with myself for a minute there.”

“Oh, ok then.”

Virgil was now blinking at the cheerful side with some more surprise and confusion.

He had no idea what was even going on at this point.

It was at this point though that he realized he was still pretty much hugging the other side and he quickly released him once again.

And, thankfully, Patton let go as well.

“Thank you for that, by the way.”

Virgil scrunched his own face up, confused.

“What?”

Patton, if anything, only seemed to grin wider.

Virgil was pretty sure his soul was going to slowly leave his body if this kept up.

“For catching me. It probably would have hurt a lot if I’d actually fallen, so I really appreciate you being here to help me. So, thank you!”

Yup, his soul was now leaving his body and he was going to just collapse on the floor in front of the kitchen until someone finally came by to toss his corpse into the abyss where he belonged.

Maybe Morality would be so kind as to do it himself.

“Um...yeah. No problem. Don’t mention it. It wasn’t a big deal. I just didn’t really want you to fall and get hurt or anything...”

Virgil trailed off as he realized he was starting to ramble and Patton continued to smile at him.

There was a moment of very awkward silence.

Then Virgil remembered that the other sides actually hated him and he was supposed to be staying away from them not talking to them and touching them and being smiled at by them and he did what he probably should have done as soon as he put Morality down the first time.

“Well...bye.”

And the anxious side sunk into the floor and disappeared before Patton could even ask him his name.

“Oh...”

But that wouldn’t keep him down too long, Patton decided as he held up a fist with a determined expression on his face.

The new side was a lot nicer than the other two seemed to think, as Patton had been quite sure to be the case since he seemed to be here to protect Thomas to begin with, and he was now determined to make up for not giving him a proper welcome before by befriending him now.

So Patton got to work.

He kept an eye out for the side, watching his door whenever he had the chance and trying to keep an eye out for a flash of black or purple anywhere.(I like the idea that Virgil started off with a simple long sleeve purple shirt and black jeans when he became a side and the hoodie was something he decided to wear later.)

He even tried to spend more time in the common area at night in the hopes of catching him.

And he knew that he’d been there at some point.

Because, sometimes, he’d fall asleep waiting and would later end up waking up tucked into his own bed.

And when he’d asked the others how they’d slept that night, they never said anything about waking up, finding him, and taking him to bed.

So the new side was definitely coming out at night but Patton still couldn’t find him and the other simply refused to come out when he called and talk to him.

It took two weeks before Patton finally came up with an idea he thought would work in getting the side to finally speak to him again.

He came down that night and waited for a while, as he always did.

And then he got up from his spot on the couch, hopped up onto the banister, and let himself fall.

There was a terrifying second or two where he thought that maybe he had miscalculated and the new side wasn’t around to catch him tonight and he would end up falling flat on his back and cracking his skull open or something, but then there was a blur of black and purple in the corner of his eye and he was suddenly resting in a set of very gentle arms that held him close to a chest that had a VERY fast heartbeat.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

Virgil had almost just died.

If his soul hadn’t left last time, then it definitely did just now.

He’d been so confused when the moral side had gotten up and climbed onto the banister but he had never, not even once, thought that he would just fall off of it like that.

He’d been all the way in the kitchen one second and right beside the stairs in the next and his heart was pounding so hard from the adrenaline pulsing in his veins that he was pretty sure he was about to pass out from fear alone.

This wasn’t fair.

Why did he have to be the one to do this?

Why couldn’t he be like the others and just go to sleep at night?

And suddenly Morality was laughing and Virgil really just wanted to cry and go to bed because this was all just SO unfair.

“You caught me!”

Patton threw his arms around the other side’s neck and couldn’t help the delighted laughter that fell out of him in that moment.

He’d finally found him again!

The other side sighed and gave Patton the smallest of squeezes.

“Yeah...but why were you falling in the first place? What were you doing standing on the banister like that?”

Virgil wasn’t sure what explanation he was expecting the other to give, but it was not what he ended up receiving.

“I was trying to get your attention again.”

Morality seemed slightly embarrassed but mostly just obstinate as he stared Virgil down.

The new side blinked.

“What?”

Patton looked away.

The embarrassment was really starting to take over at this point and it was getting a little bit more difficult to insist, even in his own mind, that this had been the best course of action.

“Well, I wanted to talk to you. But whenever I tried to find you, you weren’t around and I couldn’t get you to come out. So I thought that, maybe, you’d catch me again if I fell. So I figured I should fall from the banister to make sure that you saw me falling and had time to react.”

By the end of the explanation, Patton couldn’t actually look at the other side anymore and was instead staring down at his purple-clad chest.

For a moment, there was silence and Patton was pretty sure that the new side was gonna think he was an idiot now, but then something miraculous happened.

Virgil’s chest started to shake, then his shoulders, then his arms, and then he couldn’t contain it anymore and laughter bloomed through the common room like a boom of thunder in a storm.

Patton looked up in shock and would later tell anyone who listened that this was the moment when he had promised himself that he would do whatever it took to protect his strange dark son for the rest of his days because Virgil’s face was lit up with the biggest grin and his eyes were squeezed shut as he laughed a full belly laughing guffaw that shook his entire body, and Patton by extension, and filled the room with one of the nicest and purest sounds Patton had ever had the joy of hearing.

He was pretty sure he had stars in his eyes as he watched the new side laugh until he couldn’t take it anymore and fell surprisingly gently, probably for Patton’s sake, onto his knees on the floor.

The laughter continued and Patton remained in the side’s shaking arms as he ended up doubling over and laughing into Patton’s shoulder.

Not that he minded.

If anything, he was delighted.

This was amazing.

Not only had he gotten the other side’s attention at last, he had also made him laugh so hard he didn’t even seem capable of controlling himself anymore.

But, eventually, the laughter faded off and the other side finally calmed down.

Virgil hadn’t really meant for any of that to happen and was reluctant to take his face away from where it was hidden against Morality’s shoulder.

So, for a moment, a just let himself take a second to really calm down and catch his breath again as the moral side remained perfectly still against him.

But he had to face everything eventually, so he finally took his head away from the side’s shoulder and only glanced at him for a moment before looking away with a blush quickly seeping over his face and ears.

“Sorry about that...”

Patton had to blink back into reality again before quickly speaking.

“Oh no! It’s fine! It was pretty funny and you have a really nice laugh so I don’t mind.”

Patton hadn’t really meant to say that last part, but it was true so that was fine.

Virgil blushed a little bit more and had to fight against the instinct in him that simply screamed to run away now that Morality was safe again.

Because the side had done all of this to talk to him again and if he left now there was a very high possibility that this would keep happening until Morality finally had the conversation he’d wanted to have in the first place.

“Right, well...anyways, what did you want to talk about, Morality?”

Patton twitched, apparently the new side had an impressive pair of big purple puppy eyes(this fanon Virgil has purple eyes, deal with it) and it was a struggle not to just let himself squeal and pull the side back against his shoulder again.

“Oh. Right. Yeah, that. Oh! Yeah, I wanted to ask what your name was!”

Morality wiggled a little in Virgil’s arms and he would have put the side down if he wasn’t worried about him not letting go again like last time.

“Oh, it’s, um...Anxiety”

The cheerful side blinked and looked into empty space for a moment before a look of realization came across his face.

“Oh, yeah! I remember Logan mentioning that word before. It’s like being scared and nervous about things, right?”

Patton felt it when the other side twitched a bit in what seemed like an aborted sort of flinch before he responded with his head down.

“Yeah, basically.”

The words, “kicked puppy”, repeatedly cycled through the moral side’s brain like a sad little siren.

Roman and Logan were in so much trouble, Patton decided then.

Because it seemed like the new side thought that he was a bad thing.

It probably really got to him when the others immediately got angry at him upon his arrival.

And having the title of Anxiety, which Patton remembered Logan calling an illness at one point, definitely wouldn’t have helped him feel better about himself.

But that wasn’t important right now.

Right now, Patton had a new friend to help feel better about themselves.

“So you keep Thomas safe from all of the bad things?”

Anxiety’s head shot up so fast his neck cracked and Patton could almost feel the whiplash second hand.

“what?”

His voice was small and breathless and it kind of made Patton want to cry, but he stayed strong and continued on with as cheerful a voice as he’d been using the entire time.

“You protect Thomas. You make him nervous and scared of the things he should avoid and can even make him directly avoid them. You’re like his knight in shining armor or something!”

And Patton was pretty proud of himself for a moment.

He was pretty sure that he’d actually said the right thing this time and Anxiety was gonna feel a bit better about himself and maybe be more willing to spend time with Patton now and they would be friends and it would be great!

But then he was met with a sight that made his heart feel like it was falling to pieces.

Tears, tainted black by the dark smudges Patton hadn’t even noticed under the other side’s eyes, fell silently from Anxiety’s wide purple eyes.

And Virgil was trying so hard to figure out what was happening, again.

He didn’t understand.

Morality was being nice to him he gave him a compliment multiple compliments he was smiling and had jumped off of a banister just to talk to him who did that what was this why was he doING THIS WHY DID HE SAY SUCH NICE THINGS WHY WAS HE ALWAYS SMILING HE HATES HIM THEY ALL DO HE’S ANXIETY HE’S BAD HE HURTS THOMAS NO MATTER HOW MUCH HE JUST WANTS TO KEEP HIM SAFE AND NOW MORALITY KNOWS WHAT HE IS AND WHAT HE DOES BUT HE SAID ITS GOOD HE THINKS HE’S GOOD AND HE CALLED HIM THOMAS’ KNIGHT LIKE HE WAS ACTUALLY DOING WHAT HE TRIED SO HARD TO DO AND THERE WAS SO MUCH AND TOO MUCH AND IT’S SO WEIRD AND STRANGE AND HE JUST. CAN’T. DEAL. ANYMORE.

And suddenly Anxiety is gone and Patton finds himself sitting on the floor beside the stairs.

Alone.

And that’s the end of the first chapter.

*flairs out tired jazz hands*

Ta-da.

Man, this took a turn near the end that I feel makes sense and is necessary but it was very much not my intent.

Then again, this entire thing was not my intent but it happened anyways so I should really just accept that I have absolutely no control over what is going on in my life at this point and try to be happy about whatever ends up happening.

So most of this was fluff but we ended up with something vaguely resembling angst at the very end.

Don’t worry tho, I’ll eventually do the second part and we’ll see how all of this eventually gets sorted out.

...probably.

Anyways, I hope whoever reads this actually likes it a little and doesn’t find this to be a waste of time and space because that’s just my entire life in a nutshell and I could kind of do with at least a little bit of gratification for the things that I spend my time doing.

*sighs in asexual*

It is four in the morning and I’m dying a little every second.

Anyways, I’ll just leave now and maybe sleep before I have to do things in the morning.

Later, I guess.

*falls onto floor and kind of just sighs in resignation as a cat comes over and sits on my back*

great...

Here’s a link that leads to the next part of the CAP Series.

A Bed of Links:

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Cerillen

Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cerillen/pseuds/Cerillen

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPz4p5XdoRESDKZeMDnWXFQ

Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/cerillen

Discord: https://discord.gg/FsUhc5f

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coalitiongirl · 6 years

Note

ive been watching your scenes to rewatch and ive been crying at literally all of them. out of curoisity, what are your favourite ouat scenes? either sq or general? also side note, i love your latest fic, such an interesting premise. i get so scared every time someone says an order and emmas forced to comply, that scene with the trolls had me on edge. and the fact that cora must suspect something about emma now - im so scared but excited ahah :D have a nice day :)

OH I super dropped the ball on those omg, i have so many others!! but i haven’t been able to rewatch in a long time, it hard 😩

of course i LOVE almost every swan queen scene!! it’s hard for me to pick favorites because nearly every one pings something else inside me omfg. I don’t think there’s a single sq scene I couldn’t write an essay about WHOOPS. so lemme try to answer this with just some of my favorite non-sq scenes 😅

Emma in True North: hoo boy, this is probably in my scenes to rewatch but that scene on the road, MAN. there’s so much careful buildup with emma’s abandonment issues and how much she sees herself in nick and ava. and they have a chance she never does and dammit, she fights for them!! she fights for two kids just like her and they get their moment and jmo turns that realization into agony with sheer artistry in emma’s FACE in their final moment. god.

Regina in We Are Both: this was the episode that sold me on Regina! tbh i’d marathoned s1 as soon as they announced mulan was going to be in s2 so i hadn’t been focusing much on thinking before that?? and then suddenly there’s Regina, in all her rich and layered stories, and i fell hARD. the whole narrative of the episode- Regina resisting parental abuse until she becomes what she’s always feared to be free!! and that translating into her saying ‘no, this isn’t going to continue to the next generation. even if i lose the only thing that matters to me.’ do u ever stan!!! I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE VERY WELL. END ME.

Emma in Firebird: listen. never follow ur idols to ur next fandom or you’ll suddenly realize they actually hate women and then get ‘’’muted’’’ for ‘’’yelling at her too much’’’ but jane espenson did a GOOD with the flashbacks in this one (present day still literal and figurative hell tho!!). The concept of Emma’s jacket as armor isn’t an original one, but the execution was honestly stellar. Emma forging this connection with an older hardened woman who can’t let go of the past either!! emma destroyed and remade into the lady we met on her twenty-eighth birthday. GOD. SHE FINDS HER DAUGHTER. and i gotta say, the vulnerable-tearful-young thing jmo was doing w emma in s5 didn’t work for me in terms of what present day was trying to convey, but it’s a perfect fit for that flashback, i WEPT.

Regina in Quite A Common Fairy: Lana OWNS the cave scene with Tink, god. The depth and breadth of emoTION. The episode and the narrative itself builds it up from episode one! because this regina on the road to redemption but finally giving us a glimpse into the emotional and mental state she was in as the young queen- she has all this rage and she’s SUSTAINED by it, it’s her only real truth and constant and she’s terrified of what might happen if she lets it go for even an instant and chooses hope instead. (Lana’s voice when Regina says she’s afraid that without rage she might just ‘—float away’ is something that has stayed with me for a long, long time.) REGINA PULLING OUT HER HEART TO MAKE A POINT. far from the last time she will, but how affecting!! god!!

Emma and Snow in S1: There are a few moments i’m thinking of (and i’m literally writing this on the treadmill so pls forgive the lack of episode names) and all of them are so stellar, god. The moment when Snow finds Emma living out of her car early on. Snow and Emma sitting at the table at the loft holding hands. Emma lying down next to a crying Snow. Snow yelling at Emma for being so selfish when she tries running off with Henry?? EMMA SHOWING UP AT MARY MARGARET’S DOOR SEARCHING FOR A ~PERSON~ AND MARY MARGARET SILENTLY LETTING HER IN. Snow and Emma work best in S1 in the silences and the fights, where they’re allowed to just care and be family, and I treasure each of those moments as much as they do.

Regina and Zelena in the Kansas: There’s a lot of effort put into this dynamic right near what seemed like the end, playing with how exactly Zelena perceives her happy ending to go- and then Regina strikes it all down by being different, by changing, by being someone Zelena hadn’t believed either of them capable of. And then Regina goes to Zelena’s cell and offers her!! sisterhood!! my god. i instantly fell in love with the dynamic in that moment and i’m forever pressed that the ‘it’s nice to have family in town’ line was cut. because you can tell that regina craves family and craves unmaking this second monster of her mother’s and zelena was going to TAKE that second chance and hey! this seems the perfect time to go off-message and

Belle in Family Business and Heroes and Villains: imma be honest, i like belle just fine in the early seasons but i have zero interest in rumbelle, which means a lot of fast-forwarding through her scenes. But these two scenes were ENCHANTING. Mirror Belle preying on Belle with the truth that she’s afraid to face! Emilie does such a fantastic job conveying so much cruelty in that scene, I was gaping and enthralled and hoping shattered sight was going to work exactly like that (and tbh props to ginny for doing a hella creepy snow at the start of Shattered Sight). And that town line scene!!! What a stunning, evocative scene. Belle reclaiming agency and taking action in such a 100% cold-blooded but necessary way!! that’s my ravenclaw babe!!!

Mulan and Aurora: I was young, and I Believed, and I Believed for a very long time. I am appalled at my naïveté too, don’t worry.

Regina in Enter the Dragon: LOOK it’s not about the leather but it’s a lil about the leather!!! I really appreciate both Regina in the past and present in this one and also how gay it is, and I’m most charmed by lil evil pep talking nugget Regina who just wants you to be the very best villain you can be! It’s such an artful melding of the exuberance of young!Regina and the delight in chaos of eq!Regina and i, for one, am a fan.

Emma (and Henry) in The Stranger/An Apple Red as Blood: my gOD. Okay I think one of the first times I cried while watching this show was in Emma’s desperate, hysterical denial to August about the curse. She’s so clearly hit rock bottom and she’s TERRIFIED of believing and it’s breaking her. SHE DIDNT ASK TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYONES HAPPINESS. SHE DOESNT WANT IT. THAT IS CRAP!!!! i love her!! i love emma swan!!! i do!!!!! and then moving into the end of the next episode when she tells henry she’s leaving and just!! ‘henry! life isn’t a story!’ man this show had some incredible early work. sigh. emma kneeling in front of henry begging him to listen! my god.

Regina in the Cricket Game: so i’m leaving out all my fave sq moments which severely limits the number of regina and emma scenes i can talk about here but the flashbacks in this one SURE ARE SOMETHING. regina has hit rock bottom in this set and you feel it in every moment, in her REGRET THAT I HAVE NOT CAUSED MORE PAIN and frickin stABBING snow and that dark scene with the candle oh god. this is a regina who doesn’t think about looking back anymore but who doesn’t think about looking forward, either, and she’s terrifying. it reminds me a lot of the scene later this season in Welcome to Storybrooke where she takes out snow’s heart and ‘see? i can have everything’ but there are tears sliding down her face. regina in enraged despair is something to behold!!

Henry (and Emma and Regina) in Operation Mongoose: Henry doesn’t often get lengthy times to shine that aren’t about other characters, but he was literally a YA hero in the author’s universe! man! what a kid! and his scenes with bandit Regina are some of my all-time favorites, as is that heartstopping moment when he reaches the top of that tower and flings the door open and Emma KNOWS him. reader, i wept. i wept hard. talk about your earned moments!!!

Emma as Dark Swan: posture! clothing! positioning! voice work! dark swan was a revelation i’m still rightfully bitter about, because she was EVERYTHING in those early episodes. the way she caressed snow’s face in first episode of 5a. the faux-innocent with the calculating eyes on the ship with whats-his-name. every interaction with henry where she was trying to be a PERSON. the way she moved! the way she felt more reptilian than human! i wanted to know everything about her!! (then i did and quit the show lol) honestly some of jmo’s best acting to date, i’m forever in awe.

That Still Small Voice: look, this is an episode about a cricket and it remains one of my favorite quality ouat episodes. Archie sells it best as an adult influenced by his past without quite knowing it, and Archie and Henry make for a really engaging dynamic in here. There is nothing about Archie’s professional behavior that doesn’t make me want to scream but this remains a very, very good episode.

Emma in Sympathy for the De Vil/Lily: okay this is cheating a little because so much of this is also Regina but!! Emma individually shines in this narrative and throughout 4b. From the moment she finds out about what her parents had done, you can watch it slowly draining a part of her?? yes her eyes got redder but there was also this kind of apathy about EVERYTHING. And tbh the Cruella episode is pretty awesome on its own (I love the slow revelation that Cru is the villain, what a stellar execution of a fave trope) but WHEN EMMA KILLS HER. In the exact moment that Cruella says ‘heroes don’t kill’. that’s what pushes emma over the edge!! and then emma ready to kill again the next episode because she feels like she’s sliding into an abyss, i couldn’t BREATHE. emma is incredible when the narrative lets her be angry, and i wanted So Much More. Speaking of which, Emma getting angrier and angrier and almost losing it in The Snow Queen was more of that anger!! i am HUNGRY for it.

Regina and Snow in The Evil Queen: This episode is messy af but damn did my heart skip a beat when a hooded hero saves Regina and tears off her hood and it’s SNOW. This episode does so much of what makes Snow/Regina so fascinating and frustrating, both in the present and the past. Their interactions in the woods moved me! changed me! and Regina had already crossed the point of no return but oh man, oh man, the way they’d almost gotten somewhere for a minute there.

Regina and Henry in Save Henry: A classic, a work of art, and I’ve said so much about it in the past that I’m exhausted just thinking about expressing it all again now. But what a STORY of an evil queen who falls in love with a little boy. What a narrative!! The promo pictures from this episode came out when I was sitting in the hospital for a checkup while I was expecting my daughter, and I was tearing up and the nurses thought it was about the ultrasound. I’M NOT PROUD. This is a love story!!! And it culminates again in A Curious Thing, by the way, which put another ten years on my life, an Epic !

Emma and Henry in New York City Serenade: boy was this a journey, but I was absolutely spellbound omg. This was a love song to a fantasy but it’s a fantasy that never unmakes Emma– she’s afraid of commitment and happiness and everything permanent in her life that isn’t Henry, but she’s still going to take that leap despite herself. It’s a wonderful character study that captures Emma’s essence in a new world, with a new past.

Snow in The Miller’s Daughter: Snow is at her best when the show isn’t painting her with rose-colored glasses and we get to see her darker side, and I don’t think she ever gets quite as dark in the first three seasons as she is when she’s standing there, smiling earnestly at Regina as she tells her that the key to Cora loving Regina is in the poisoned heart she holds. My god. It’s so incredibly cold-blooded and vile, and it’s absolutely the kind of manipulative pragmatism that suits Snow best. I am enthralled and horrified.

Neal and Emma and Henry and Gold in Manhattan: This is one of those really cool scenes where even though I don’t particularly care for half the characters within it, everyone acted the hell out of it and it’s so GOOD. There’s so much tension and you’re holding your breath through the squabbling, and then Henry shows up and you KNOW. You know what’s going to happen and you’re terrified for Emma and it’s so visceral, right up until the instant when Neal demands Henry’s age and Henry shouts ELEVEN and my god, my god. What a reveal. What a scene.

There are more!! so many scenes and moments i’ve loved over the years. Emma and young!Lily! Snowing in Snow Falls! Anna of Arendale!! Snow and Emma in Lost Girl!! Ruby in Red Handed! The David/Emma dragon fight in A Land Without Magic! Regina tearing out that heart in The Doctor and meeting Daniel again?? Regina and her father in hell. all of Hat Trick. i think twenty is a good place to stop, but hoo boy, when this show was good, it was GOOD. alas.

#ouat #Anonymous

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warmau · 7 years

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winner is having a comeback!!! i just saw and so here, have some winner hp!au stuff

Seungyoon

gryffindor prefect who wishes he was the head boy but is fine with his job because it's still important,,,,,,,if only the first years weren't the only ones who listened to him,,,,

plays on the quidditch team, is a beater

is really good at muggle music because he taught himself to play guitar the manual way (didn't drink a potion or put a spell on the instrument to play itself

even though seunghoon teased him about for a whole semester)

does ok in all his other classes but has a knack for divination even though he hides it from his classmates who make fun of the subject

you're pretty sure he isn't lying when he reads one of the tea leaves and tells someone they're going to fail their OWLs because the person who he said it to literally sleeps in every class you have with them

so you go over and ask seungyoon to read yours and he's like "sure,,,,is there something you're interest in knowing specifically?"

and you put your hands up on the desk and shrug like "how about my love life?"

seungyoon kind of flusters for a second but agrees and as he's looking at the leaf he frowns and is like "there's not much, which means something is going to happen really really soon-"

and just as he's about to finish seunghoon walks by and is like "i heard you were watching seungyoon games over the weekend, was it fun?" To you

and you're like hOON SHUT UP but he's just chuckling like a madman before skipping away and seungyoon is like "you came to watch me play?" and you're like m,,,maybe,,,,yes

and he suddenly gets a bit pink in the face and he's well,,,,if you have time after this i can teach you some tricks on the broom????? and you're like OMG id love that

and long story short he didn't see anything in the tea leaves because,,,,,after he teaches you some stuff you guys decide you'll have a proper date at diagon alley,,,,,next week hehe

Jinwoo

hufflepuff whose part of herbology club and likes plants,,,,,,,,and being nice to people,,,,,,,,,,

and is fiercely loyal to his friends because people like to downplay hufflepuff’s as serious, studios wizards but,,,,,,if one of his friends gets hurt jinwoo is the first person to perform healing spells and to put himself on the line to protect those close to him

but he’s all like,,,,,,,,,,the most handsome wizard ever,,,,,,,,,like he’s famous among the entire school and other schools overseas because like Have you Seen his Perfect Face

when his photo got printed in the newspaper for a discovery by the club he was in on a new kind of magical plant, the newspaper literally was sold out. that has never happened????? but everyone wanted his moving image for themselves?????? jinwoo’s impact

you’re his underclassman but you really like herbology just like him and you’ve got a first press copy of “one thousand magical herbs and fungi” and phyllida spore is literally your Idol

and no one has ever really shown interest as passionately as you do, especially with how outspoken you are during club meetings and how you even insist that you guys shouldn’t be scared to go into the dark forest to find more samples of plants

and sometimes your overexcited voice and overflowing knowledge gets on other students nerves, but jinwoo,,,,,,,,really sees you only have good intentions to learn and so if he hears anyone start whispering something mean he mutters a spell under his breath that makes it impossible for them to speak above a certain volume for a bit

and he thinks you don’t notice, he thinks he’s doing a great job at being subtle but you do know

and you,,,,,,,,are really thankful but you’re way too shy to ever approach him and thank him,,,,,,,,,until one day it’s just you two left in the club room

and jinwoo is humming softly, using his wand to put away all the chairs and books and you’re watching the way he’s so gentle when handling a wand and performing magic and it makes you just like him more

and you’re like “,,,,upperclassman if i can say something,,,,,” and jinwoo is like “go ahead!” and you’re like swallowing your fear and you’re like tHANK YOU !!!!!!! FOR PROTECting,,,,,mE,,,,,,,,,i know i can get annoying and talk too much but you always try to hide peoples negative thoughts from me,,,,,,,,,and i-it’s very sweet and im very happy for you,,,,,,,,i really like having you,,,,,,,,,,on my side!!!!!!!

and jinwoo is so shocked that he almost drops his wand and the chair floating mid air almost breaks but he manages to regain his wand and you rush to catch the chair before it comes crashing down

and jinwoo is blushing, bringing up his sleeve to shield his face and he’s like “so,,,,,,you’ve known all along what ive been up to?” and you’re like “Yes,,,,,,,,,,,it’s very nice,,,,,,of you” and he’s like “then if it’s ok, ill keep doing it?” and you’re like !!!!!! please do and then you see him smile as he lowers his sleeve and he’s like “ill always be on your side, does this mean i can count you to be on mine?”

Mino

ravenclaw who looks like he shouldn’t be in ravenclaw,,,,,,,because everyone is prime and proper and mino doesn’t even bother tying his tie correctly or wearing his robe to class

and his broom? it breaks every month. the poor thing is falling apart its been bandaged so many times that seungyoon thinks mino is a flying hazard when he gets on it

surprisingly though,,,,,,he takes studying serious. especially transfiguration.

is actually a metamorphmagus, meaning he was born with the skill to alter his appearance to look like a completely different person. his hair and eye color change along with his emotions,,,,,,,he’s kinda learned how to control but it’s still something that happens

“im not mad seunghoon. i promise.” “mino, your hair turned red and your eyes are swirling into a dark black abyss, i can tell that you’re mad.”

doesn’t talk about it much, but he wants to be an auror,,,,,,,,,because like it’s such a cool job and no matter how messy he might present himself to be or laidback,,,,,he can be really serious and determined

is in a punk band called ‘gremlins and goblins” along with seunghoon. neither of them play instruments they really just scream into mics and fool around LOL

you’ve always been super jealous of mino’s abilities as a metamorphmagus because you have to be born as one to be able to transform like that

and for a while you tried to teach yourself spells that would at least let you change hair color or your nose or something but it’s super hard

and mino’s just,,,,,,,,so good at it because it’s natural and when everyone in class is like “turn into the professor before they get here!!!” and mino does it in like the blink of an eye and everyone is like wOW

and you’re just like,,,,,,,,,,,,,why can’t i make my magic strong enough to do that

and mino’s sweet so he’s always nice to you and you kinda act cold out of your own jealousy and accord

until one day he’s got to sit next to you in class and transfiguration of all,,,,and you’re like grumbling to yourself and the teacher is like “alright, we’re gonna turn a dinner plate into a mushroom!” and you’re like omg this is such an easy spell,,,,,

and you do it in a flash and mino,,,,,,,you see is struggling even though he has the highest scores for this class???? and you’re like “um,,,,,are you ok? are you sick?” and mino chuckles and he’s like “nope, ive just always been bad at this one.” and you’re like ,,,,,,,,,,let me help

and you help him repeat the spell and you’re like leaning over to help re position his wand

and like,,,,,,,wow you’re the one helping mino,,,,,,the top student and he’s smiling at you and thanking you and ok,,,,,,what,,,,,,he’s so cute,,,,,,um,,,,,,,,who,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,allowed?? him??

and after class mino catch up with you and ok seriously he looks so cute with his shirt untucked and his tie loose around his neck and his ravenclaw scarf thrown over his shoulder and he’s like “OWLS are coming up and you’re super smart, we should study together?”

and you’re like “oh,,,,like a study group?” and mino laughs embarrassingly and he’s like “is it bad that im kinda hoping it’s a study DATE instead?”

you: drops your wand lfkjdgsmgg

Seunghoon

slytherin troublemaker and captain/seeker of the houses quidditch team

likes to play pranks on everyone. even the house ghost, the bloody baron

is only passing his classes because he has to to be able to stay captain,,,,,,,,,,pretty sure he has some method of cheating but like,,,,,,who knows,,,,,,,tbh seunghoon is probably the most cunning in that whole house and that’s what the house is known for so can you imagine,,,,,,

tried to smuggle in a dog onto the platform when taking the train to school, but it was confiscated and seunghoon was forced to make due with only his frog,,,,,,,

like mino, he’s part of ‘gremlins and goblins’, and his lyrics are all incoherent noises and sometimes lowkey disses at some of the teachers at school and mino is like bro,,,,,,,,,,,we can’t and seunghoon is like bro,,,,,,,,,no one listens to this “music” but us let me talk shit about the charms professor-”

seunghoon is actually an animagus. and most people are shocked because to become one you need a lot of patience, the process is super long

but he did it, and his form is the same as his patronus,,,,,,a cheetah

and he shows it off like all the god damn time like WE GET IT you’re an animagus seunghoon sit down before you knock something over with your long limbs or your cheetah tail

and ,,,,,,,, there’s a certain person seunghoon likes to show off the most to,,,,,,,that person is you

and most of the time you just roll your eyes and play off his corny pick up lines and that time he drank a potion to be able to imitate your favorite actor at the time

and like,,,,,,you’ve been friends with him for a while so you really just think it’s all teasing so you don’t take it seriously

not until one day he’s trying to show you a cool trick on his broom, but end ups falling back first onto the hard floor of the hallway and you hear something crack and you’re like seunghoon,,,,,,,SEUNGHOON

and you drop down and move his head into your lap and you’re like turning his head this way and that and you’re like “can you lift your hand???? leg???? listen if you can’t ill levitate you and get you to the-”

and seunghoon suddenly starts chuckling and you’re like ???????

and he’s like “i knew it,,,,,,,,you do actually care about me. so are you free after the match this afternoon, i know we’re gonna win and as a victory gift how about you let me take you on a da-”

and you’re like oh my god did you fall down on PURPOSE and you take out your wand like “im going to seriously poof off your eyebrows for that”

and seunghoon is like nOOO spare my handsome face, which you totally like, pleaaaaaaaase

and you really wanna do it because he messed with you but at the same time you just sigh and you’re like getting up

and seunghoon is like “wait - where are you goi-”

and you’re walking down the hall and with your wand you pick up his broom without looking and use it to thunk him on the head and you’re like

“pick me up after the game. you better win.”

bonus their patronus’: seungyoon = brown bear, jinwoo = deer, mino = coyote, seunghoon =cheetah

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the-coolest-mallard · 4 years

Text

Homework Woes

Yes, you guessed it. Louie and his experience with homework.

Words required for Lena: 2006 exactly

There were days like today where Louie desperately wished he could just drop out of school and become a gangster. Or maybe he’d ditch school and join a circus. Or somehow out of the blue he’d make it big in a rock band and never have to study for any test or do any homework ever again. Oh how badly he wished he could do any of those things instead of stare down the assignment that Mr. Lyons had given them because he hated his students. Louie was sure the guy had to be hating them.

And okay, Simba Lyons was a cool dude when he wasn’t teaching. But teaching meant that he gave Louie stuff to do, and Louie didn’t like stuff. Especially not stuff about the medieval times and the days where people smelled really bad and thought kings were the shit. Maybe the kings had the shits, but Louie was fairly sure not a single one of those old farts was any good. The only dude that was interesting was one of the Henrys, and only because he went full psycho!

But no, here was Louie, stuck writing a paper on some asshole King Richard III. Well, he was doing his best. But Uncle Donald was working, and Huey was off doing who knew what, so Louie didn’t really have any good helpers to make sure his work made sense so far. As he glanced down at what he had, he couldn’t help but be dismayed by his efforts.

Rihard the third was burn the youngest sun and was considred to be a loser. No one cared.

Well, at least Louie could kind of sympathize for the dude. Like Louie, he was the youngest probably talentless guy who nobody really cared about. Though he would guess that this Richard dude could probably spell better than Louie could. His letters were all over the place. He was all over the place. He was pretty sure this Richard dude caused a big family drama, but he wasn’t sure that he had the right family drama written down. He knew about the Henry that chopped heads off, but that wasn’t the Henry that Richard’s family was against. At least he was pretty sure. Why did English history have to have so many repeated names for royalty? It was so damn confusing!

Okay focus Louie. Focus! He told himself, eyebrows furrowing as he glanced at the textbook he had, as well as extra material he’d researched on academic sites online. Well, he’d found an article or two before he’d completely lost focus and started playing games on his computer. But he was getting there. Slowly. Probably. Well he had like two sentences written in his draft. That was two more than there had been an hour ago. God help him. Louie was going to die writing this paper, he was sure of it.

For a moment Louie found himself tempted to try to reach out to Mark. Maybe he’d text Mark about how the next guy to die by crazy medieval death would be Louie! Or he’d text Mark and tell him that he couldn’t do anymore of this paper and that he should come over. Or he should send Mark cool pictures of himself and insist Mark send some back. Anything other than actually work on this medieval paper for History class. “Okay...okay if i just add this part here. This part is important I can do that and it’ll be...yeah.”

Richard’s bro Edward became King of England after people bitched about who was sposed to be King. He becm King Edward IV on March 4th, 1461. This made our guy Richie a royal prince.

Louie dropped his pen and sighed, staring at the tragic abyss that was all the blank space of his notebook. He’d had to ban himself from his computer to write it (though it would have good spellcheck, because there were just too many ways to distract himself on there) and now he felt like his hand was going to die. He’d only written a few sentences. God, why couldn’t Louie be smart like his brother? Or at least let him be smart for these occasions where it kind of mattered? Louie dreamed of getting through this paper with minimal crying.

His head jerked up at that, and he found his fingers already twitching for his phone. Speaking of crying, Louie should text Tae and see how bad off he had it with this whole thing. He was pretty sure Tae would hate this just as much as he did. Louie debated over what to say, before he grinned and just sent: ‘couldn’t give a fuck bot dis Richard dude. Howre u doin with ur old fart paper?’ Louie then forced himself to set his phone aside again and stare at the words on his computer screen. This Richard dude dealt with a fucked up situation. That part Louie had been able to focus on. It was just hard to write about said fucked up situation without writing it terribly.

He already knew what comments he’d get with this: decent fact finding, but could stand to write in a more academic way. This is a research paper, not a casual conversation among friends. Stuff like that. He’d probably get more shit than that, but Louie was pretty familiar with all the red marks and comments he got for his shitty work. “Ugggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh,” Louie whined, throwing his head back and slumping in his chair. How did smart people do this? Louie struggled so hard to get through a paragraph!

Maybe he should try music. Louie hadn’t considered that option yet, but it was definitely one that could potentially get him through his paper. Music had to be it! After all, spotify had all kinds of study playlists and shit, things to help someone get through the work they were trying to do. Maybe Louie would do that. So he went ahead and switched on one of those study playlists and started reading stuff on this Richard dude again. But then the music was so calming, and Louie’s eyelids started drooping. His head started to drop, and then the next thing he knew he was jerking awake and looking at the clock.

“Oh shit! You slept for an hour Louie? Oh goooood why am I such a fucking idiooooot,” he moaned, putting his head in his hands and shaking his head desperately. This was so bad. Louie was so doomed if he didn’t get this paper done by midnight. He had four hours left or something, but he needed every damn second of that time. Writing all of this was so much harder for him than other people. Other people didn’t struggle to keep focused on one thing for as long as Louie did. He was going to fail and end up as a horribly sad janitor and everyone would laugh at him. Louie could see a tragic future.

So he decided he was going to pep up his mood a little. He took a nap? Now it was time to play some lively music and get back into it. Louie turned on Green Day. Louie started bobbing his head enthusiastically, glancing over at his computer to see what he could add about this Richard guy. If he were truly honest, the history was kind of interesting, but Louie still couldn’t keep himself focused enough to get through it more efficiently. He was on to the next little segment for himself, eyebrows furrowing as he debated how to put it.

Richie becm duk of gloucster n a knight of the roun table? or just a knight? something bout a garter. He was placed in a house of the kingmaker guy and grew to be an adult there i guess. ADULTS WERE 16. means im an adult and-

Louie cut himself off. Not important for the purposes of the essay, but he did debate over coming at his uncle with that. Like, ‘listen Uncle Donald, I know there are some dumb rules here, but I’m an adult in the medieval world. I can do what i want!’ Yeah, that probably wouldn’t go over very well, but Louie liked to believe he could have more control over his life. It gave him a satisfying feeling. Or the pretense of satisfaction. Much more satisfying than working on this thrice cursed paper for History.

He tapped his pen against his chin, tilting his head as he tried to review some more notes and stuff when an absolute bop of a Green Day song came on. “Oh shit, gotta turn that up.” Louie turned up the volume for his speakers and got to his feet, dramatically playing the guitar for the song. It was too good to ignore! “I walk a lonely road the only one that I have ever knowwwwwwwn don’t know where it goes but it’s home to me and I walk alone!” Louie belted it out, not caring about who would here because well, apparently none of his family was around to help him suffer less. He rocked the air guitar, letting his head rock with it and himself pretend he was the amazingly talented Mike Dirnt. He forgot himself for a song before sighing and heading back towards his table and misery. Why did history have to suck so badly?

“Okay Richard, man...couldn’t you help a guy out and write this for me?” Louie suggested with a laugh, shaking his head as he glanced down at what he’d written. He really didn’t have much at all. He was doomed to a life of failure and crime probably. While his brother Huey became Prime Minister or some shit one day, Louie would be nothing. A no good hoodlum or a janitor or a tragically broke musician or something. The longer this went on the more depressing his future looked. He could cry. “Right so so...war of the roses started again right? It stopped chilling out....when.” His eyebrows furrowed, glancing at his paper and the computer with a sigh.

The rose war started up agin in 1469 when Richard and King Edwrds bro n the kingmaker guy Warwick were like ‘f u Edward’ n seized control of Eddie an his gov. Our dude Richie stayed loyal cuz he wasnt a piece of shit bro.

Louie glanced over what he wrote and shrugged. Was it informal? Yes. Did he basically know the history of this dude? Sort of. Mostly. Honestly, at least Louie was making the story more accessible. Maybe this paper could be his Hamilton. He was just offering it to the masses. The masses wanted information that wasn’t horribly bland and basic! Louie was totally delivering on that. In his opinion anyway. He was still probably going to fail this paper.

But he had made it so far, so Louie let himself keep trying, figuring he still had a few hours leeway to make it sound more “academic” and “boring” rather than his actual writing and thinking style. Why were academic people so lame? Louie sighed, leaning over his paper again to start writing.

Warwick n the dumbass bro reinstated one of the Henrys...3? 4? who the fuck evn knows? 5? Before our man Richie and his bro King Eddie came back n KICKED ASS MAN. Took the throne back after a year lol bitches u tried.

Louie rubbed his eyes tiredly, getting up to go grab himself a snack. He was working hard. He was doing better than usual. Usually by now he’d have given up and just started playing games (or called Mark to do something actually fun). Instead Louie brought himself some crisps, a can of soda, and some chocolate for when it got too depressing to last without sweetness. He could do this! He could do this right? As it got later he started to debate the merit of selling his soul and offering it to Mr. Lyons. Maybe then the dude would go easy on Louie’s best effort. He really had tried.

#bdrplabors #lmao this one's actually really fun #louie physically paining me with his lack of interest in medieval history #this is so funny though #his ADHD kicking in of course #but also just #imagine explaining history like this #lmao

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