#i can't ask her bc she lost her shit at me last time i was here and it was fucking scary

[ztarvokwrites]

How the Monster Trio propose to you

a/n: HI SURPRISE I'M TURNING THESE HEADCANONS INTO A SERIES :3 literally loved writing the last batch of headcanons bc they were so cute so i decided to turn it into a little headcanon series <3 you're welcome! ALSO I LEARNT HOW TO DO GRADIENT TEXT HEHEHE

read part 1 here >> How the Cross Guild propose to you (+ Galdino)

not nsfw! only pure fluff and silliness up ahead!

enjoy and don't forget to reblog if you like it!

Monkey D. Luffy

If you think Luffy is capable of proposing in a nice, romantic way — then you're wrong.

He has no clue what he's doing but he's just gonna roll with it.

Begs Asks Nami to find a ring in one of her treasure boxes, to which she reluctantly agrees upon hearing his reasoning.

Literally proposes to you the same day, in the middle of a fight with some rookie pirates.

Just straight up grabs you and pulls you to him, protecting you as he asks the question and shoves the ring in your hand.

"Hey, wanna get married?"

You're stunned for a moment at his sheer audacity to propose like that during a battle, but the seriousness on his face gave you the impression that he wasn't kidding.

With a simple nod, you put the ring on your finger and continued fighting beside him.

The rest of the crew looked on, dumbfounded at the scene in front of them as Luffy sent the last pirate flying before turning to you and giving you the biggest, sloppiest kiss ever — dipping you in his arms for extra effect.

Brook was the only one to clap enthusiastically, followed by a very hesitant Jinbei.

Party celebration? Yep.

Roronoa Zoro

Again, if you think he's going to propose in a romantic way, you're wrong.

Laziest mf when it comes to proposing.

Gets lost when looking for a ring for you on the island you're currently docked at, returns with said ring like five hours later.

Pops the question in the middle of dinner, making Sanji choke on his food.

"Y/N, will you marry me?"

Just so bluntly asks it that you have to do a double-take as Sanji regains himself and yells at him.

"WHAT THE HELL, MOSSHEAD! YOU CAN'T JUST ASK THAT IN THE MIDDLE OF DINNER-"

"I'd love to, Zo." You put the ring on after Zoro slides it across the table.

Sanji is gobsmacked before letting out a shrill, "WHAT THE FUC-"

Zoro lets you watch him work out and also lets you bathe with him as a treat :)

Definitely litters your skin in love-bites though so be careful of what you wear because I feel like Nami and Robin will tease the shit out of you lmao.

Vinsmoke Sanji

By far the most romantic on the ship, right next to Robin and Jinbei.

After the crew has dinner, he takes you out to the lawn on the ship and makes you your favourite dessert, having Jinbei make sure that Luffy doesn't try stealing any of it.

Sets down a blanket and everything and just watches you with adoration in his eyes as you eat and talk your heart out.

He's quick to conversate, nodding along with what you're saying and chiming in from time to time.

As you two are cuddling together on the blanket, he suddenly gets on one knee in front of you and presents the ring with a soft smile on his face.

"We've been together for a while now and every day with you feels like a dream. I could go on and on with how much I love you, but we'd be here for years if I did," Sanji chuckles, making you giggle in return as tears prick your eyes, making him freeze up in concern. "O-Oh no, are you okay? I didn't say anything wrong, did I? Please don't cry-"

You shut him up by kissing him square on the lips, knocking him over onto is back.

He looked at you with hearts in his eyes as you pulled away, taking the ring with a flustered smile and slipping it onto your finger.

Que him fawning over you for a month straight, kissing you any chance he can get and annoying most of your crewmates.

Luffy and Brook find it hilarious while Robin finds it sweet, though.

starnote: my cough is getting better! i'm not hacking up a storm at night anymore, now i'm only coughing a teeny tiny bit :P

creds to @/saradika for the star divider!

#ztarvokwrites #one piece #onepiece #one piece x reader #luffy x reader #one piece luffy #straw hat luffy #monkey d. luffy #zoro roronoa x reader #zoro x reader #zorororonoa #op zoro #roronoa zoro #roronoa zoro x reader #sanji #sanji x y/n #sanji vinsmoke #vinsmoke sanji #sanjionepiece #black leg sanji #one piece sanji #vinsmoker sanji x reader #sanji x reader #monster trio #op headcanons #monster trio headcanons #monster trio x reader

[astermath]

nemesis; part two.

pairing: carmen berzatto x fem!reader

summary: with carmen reworking the restaurant, you’d think his mind would be far too occupied to even think about anything else. yet he can’t shake the guilt from what he’d put you through a month prior. after some talks in therapy, he decides to take a leap of faith and see if he can talk it out with you. he not only wants to convince you that he can be better, but he's got an offer for you too. one you truly can't refuse.

♡ landing page ♡

word count: 4.9K

tags: carmen being unsure about his feelings but trying to be better episode 3265742, letting reader in a little more, APOLOGIES!!!, cursing ig, carm goes to therapy yippee, syd being the absolute realest, regular font below!

notes: sorry this took literally forever omg, I lost my carmen muse for a bit but we are SO back baby. I missed him so much and so sorry if some things don't follow the canon completely (I've been watching season 2 on and off bc I've been so busy lol BUT my fics never follow the canon completely anyways),, hope u guys enjoy and let me know if you'd like a part three ;))

lmk if you'd like to be added to the tag list for further carmen berzatto related content! comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!

Carmen’s life hadn’t known a moment of mental rest in ages. If you asked him when he last sat down with his thoughts or acknowledged his mental anguish, he probably would have said he couldn’t remember the last time. If ever.

With plans to completely revamp The Beef and everything that came with it, now his feelings should be the last thing on his mind. Renovation plans, unforeseen costs and a completely new menu, sure, he could worry his ass off about those, but feelings? Absolutely not. Good thing he was usually so good at suppressing those anyways.

So why was it that he couldn’t shake the thought of what he did to you?

Why, every time he had a moment to himself, would he be overtaken by this intense feeling of guilt? He didn’t even have to be alone, just a second of quiet and the image of you crying in distress would intrude on his thoughts.

It was getting to a point where he’d told his sister, Natalie, about it. Well, not all of it, he wasn’t even sure if he knew all of it. Just that he knows he hurt you, and that coming to terms with what he projected onto you might be a good first step in understanding himself better.

Or maybe it was something more along the lines of “I gotta talk my shit to some people”. Probably that.

To his surprise, it was actually helping. Besides the group therapy sessions where he’d talk about Mikey, the business and his future, he was talking to other people in his life too. Even told Sydney about you, kind of on accident. The words just seemed to… Flow out. It was probably the exhaustion doing its thing.

“I guess I just felt like,” he kept his eyes on the floor he was sweeping, “she was doing it all to fuck with me. I don’t even know where I got the sick idea that she had some obsession over me, but it— it drove me at the same time. It’s like her being on my heels at every aspect of culinary school just made me want to try even harder.”

“Maybe you painted her in that light because you knew it was a good way to keep pushing yourself.” Sydney spoke almost absentmindedly, sweeping the other side of the room. She listened to everything he said in the meantime, and though what he was telling her was a bit worrying, she was glad they got to have talks like this. Carmen often doesn’t like to bring up his past like that.

“Huh,” he paused sweeping for a moment, “yeah… yeah, maybe. Or maybe it was something else.”

Sydney wasn’t even sure he knew what he was referring to. It sounded like something entirely different, like a crush, but what kind of person treats their crushes like that?

Probably an overworked, pressured, overachieving culinary student with a dangerous need for validation. But she wasn’t about to tell him that.

“So yeah, I visited her restaurant, and… It just felt the exact same as back in New York, you know? Like she was rubbing it in my face again, and— and I know that sounds insane, or conceited, but I just can’t let it go. It’s like the thought of her is stuck to my brain like a stubborn piece of gum.” He wanted to smack himself for that stupid analogy, but what was said was said.

“So how’d you handle it?” Sydney’s head perked up, some of her braids now draping over her shoulders.

“Handle what?” Carmen became more and more uneasy the more he talked about you. Like his chest was tight, it was uncomfortable, but not in the way he was when the health inspection came by, it was different. Weirder. Unfamiliar. He didn’t like it, because he didn’t understand it.

“The talk with her.” She emptied the last bit of dust into the trash bag.

“Oh,” his mind took him back to the parking lot a month ago. The way he could almost taste the tears of your skin from how close he stood, he could hear the shakiness of your breath and the profound desperation in your voice when you apologized to him, when you really had no reason to.

If it was still so clear in his mind, then what must it be like for you?

“Carmen?” Sydney snapped him out of his oncoming train of thought.

“Yeah? Sorry, I— Uh, I don’t know it was…” He runs a hand through his hair, suddenly finding it in his best interest to look anywhere else but her face. “Bad. It was— It was bad.” He looks a bit shameful when he meets her eyes. “I fucked up. I like, went all New York boss on her. And then I just… Left.”

His colleague just stares at him for a moment. She knew what he was like when he snapped like that, but that was with his staff, people he liked. So how badly did he snap on you, a person he’d been resenting for years?

“I’m gonna go take out this trash, and uh… Head home.” She lifts the grey plastic bag she was holding. “But uh, Carm?”

“Yeah?”

“You got issues, man.” She has a bit of an awkward smile on her face, but he knows she means it. He knows she’s right. She usually is.

He nods, silently, letting her words sink in. He did have issues, everyone knew that, but most people didn’t just say it. That’s why he liked Sydney, she was so real, so honest. She was so good for the business, for the kitchen. And maybe her saying that to him was all part of grounding him in the reality of it all. Of his issues, just that they existed.

“Heard.” he says. His voice comes out raspier than he expected, like he’s struggling to say it.

“Goodnight, chef.”

“Night.”

He’d thought about what Sydney said the entire night. He does have issues, he knows that, he’s just mad at himself for letting everything get this far before seeking help. It scares him. Because it reminds him too much of Mikey. Or what he heard about him when things got bad.

He doesn’t want to make the same mistakes his brother did. Lock people out of his life just because it seems easier, because it’s better to minimize the damage than to figure out why you’re doing damage at all. And yes it’s uncomfortable, yes it’s scary, terrifying even. But he keeps being reminded of how it must feel for you.

It’s something he’d never considered before. He always thought he had you all figured out, all fake smiles and backhanded compliments to distract him. It never occurred to him to just… Ask. It was always just easier to assume. It fit his view of you and it kept him going, even if it was at the expense of ever getting to know you at all.

He’s hoping he can change that with a few text messages and a long, probably uncomfortable, talk over coffee. Just hoping, trying, that’s really all he can do. He’s well aware of how bad he is at communicating, but he has to give it a shot. For you, at least.

He stares at his phone screen for far longer than is necessary, continuously rereading the messages he’d typed. His eyes keep flicking to your contact, making sure he sent it to the right person. The only thing you two had texted about before was a time and place for him to try your new restaurant. His heart aches at the exclamation points and emojis you’d sent; you were so excited, and he drove all that excitement straight into the ground.

He closes his eyes and shuts off the phone. His chest hurts, like he’s been holding his breath the entire time. Maybe he has. You could have that effect on him, making it harder to breathe. He always wondered why he had such nervous reactions around you specifically. He always figured it had to do with your one sided rivalry, but it feels… Different. More complex.

Your eyes are finally peeled off your computer screen when numerous phone notifications alarm you. Truth be told, you’ve been trying your best to keep yourself occupied as much as possible. That usually helps when you get waves of emotions like this, keeping busy, distracting your mind from overthinking.

Ever since your last encounter with Carmen, you’ve been so on edge. Always trying to do something, anything, so you wouldn’t have to think about what happened, why he acted like that to you. Because you know if you did, you’d just start blaming yourself again, and you’d be back to square one.

Your eyebrows raise at the name of the contact. You were sure he’d blocked you, or at least deleted your number after last time. He was avoidant like that, and frankly, you weren’t sure if you wanted him to talk to you again after that anyways. Maybe it was just to drive the point home, make you feel even more worthless.

Still, you were curious. Even if it was just to cuss you out even more, at least you knew what to expect, right?

[carmen]: hey, I really want to talk to you about what happened last time.

[carmen]: well

[carmen]: I want to apologise

[carmen]: but I can’t do that like this

[carmen]: I’d much rather do it in person

[carmen]: if you’d let me

[carmen]: meet me at odette’s tomorrow around 10? coffee’s on me, I just want to talk

[carmen]: please

The last message was sent minutes later than the rest, while you were reading them. He was desperate for an answer, and though you wanted to hear him out, to talk to him, something in you felt off about the whole thing. Like he was just doing this to clear off his own guilt, only to then ditch you just like he ditched you after culinary school. Because you’re rivals, apparently. That’s what you do.

But then there’s something else in you too. The part that’s still nostalgic about New York with him. About the glances back and forth when you were timed on preparing certain things, about the way he’d stare at you when you got feedback, the ignorant bliss you lived in. When you still believed he might have liked you just a little.

That part of you takes the upper hand when you reply and take his offer. Your heart is in your throat, nerves overtaking you already and you weren’t even with him yet. He had that effect on you sometimes, making it harder to breathe.

You wondered what that meant.

Carmen sits alone at a booth, all the way at the back of the café he’d chosen. It’s rather quiet, as most Mondays are, yet at the same time, it’s so loud. Loud in the way he hears the clinking of every spoon against porcelain cups, the crinkling of a napkin and the not so subtle ticking of the clock above the entrance. 10:06. You were late.

Suddenly he's filled with more regret than he's ever felt before. He's not ready to see you again, only to be reminded of how he made you cry, and of his own tumultuous emotions and shortcomings that lead to this moment. It's surprising how fast the emotions he associates with you changed; he's not angry anymore, he's scared, guilty, nervous. He wants to see you so bad and yet he feels like you'd be better off never talking to him again.

It's too late to make a run for it when you finally walk through the door. Hair a little damp from the rain, just a bit disheveled from what he could only assume to be rushing over to the café. And that same angelic smile you offer to the barista that greets you, the same one you'd offer him every morning, whether he looked at you or not.

He had no choice but to look now.

Your smile falters into something more nervous, a little melancholic, when your eyes meet his across the café. Though you knew he was going to be there, something in you feels surprised to see him again. Maybe it’s because he isn’t yelling at you or throwing insults at your head this time. Or maybe because he’s actually looking you in the eye. Since when did he get so good at that?

You sit down across him, taking off your coat and putting your bag besides you.

“Hey.” You smile again, much more awkward this time.

“Hey.” He returns the same thin lipped smile.

It’s quiet for a few seconds. Carmen swears the whole café has gone silent in that moment, leaving the two of you to listen to the sound of your own breathing and heartrate picking up. You’re not sure where to look, not being used to being in such an intimate setting with him.

“Do you want a coffee?”

“Sorry I was late.”

You both talk over each other, and the urge to chuckle about it overtakes you. Carmen can’t help but smile as well. You seem nervous, and somehow that puts him a little more at ease. Like he’s not the only one who’s in their head about it.

“Sorry, I, uhm, yeah— I would like a coffee.” You scramble over your words. “Please.”

“Sure,” he nods, “and no worries.”

“Hm?”

“That you were late. I haven’t been here that long either.” He lied. He’d been there half an hour early, cursing himself for letting him sit along with his thoughts for that long and psyching himself out into almost leaving.

You both order and another heavy silence sits between you two. You both know why you’re there, what needs to be talked about. Yet neither of you know how to bring it up.

You’ve lived most of your lives believing this version of each other you had in your minds. Because it kept you grounded. Because it was easier. He never let you in and for the longest time, you were at peace with that. You could have a slightly distant view of who he was, your classmate, your rival. And he could do the same. Keep you out, pretend you were there to keep him on his toes, to always try to outdo him.

Those facades of each other don’t work anymore. The real world has forced you to reconcile with each other, whether you liked it or not.

Your coffee gets brought to your table, and both of you feel this urgency to say something, anything, at least.

“The pastries here are good too, if you want to get one.” He finally broke the awkward silence. He can start with talking about food, something he knows. If all else fails, resort back to that.

“I haven’t tried a pastry besides my own in a long time. Maybe I could learn a thing or two here.” You admit. He knows that feeling. He’s not nearly as adventurous with his food choices as he wants to be, but as a busy chef on the brink of a new entrepreneurship, it’s usually beef sandwiches and frozen meals.

“I think yours were better though.” He takes a sip of his coffee.

“Huh?” You look up, realizing you were avoiding eye contact by staring into your cup.

“The danish I tried at your place. It was fire.”

“Oh. Right. Thank you, we make everything from scratch.”

“I could tell.” He takes another sip. “I guess I— I kinda forgot to tell you that. In the heat of it all.” He huffs to himself. “Food was so good it made me upset.”

“Upset?” His word use frustrates you. Upset is when they forget to give you your sauce with your order. What happened back there was not upset. That was rage. Wrath. You raise an eyebrow and he realizes he said something wrong.

“Well, more than upset. Listen, I— We need to talk about what happened.” His blue eyes peer into your own. They’re almost distracting enough to avoid you noticing his fidgeting hands.

“I’m listening.” You lean back slightly in your seat. You’d played nice with Carmen all your life, given him every chance to return it. Now it was his turn to try.

"Right." Of course he has to talk. It's his fault, isn't it? He's the one who snapped-- why did he even imply you'd have to explain yourself? He runs a hand through his hair, and there he goes again, eyes darting across the café to find something to focus on as he sought out the right words. You'd almost find it endearing, how bad he is at this, if it wasn't so important to you.

"You don't do this often, do you?"

"What, like-- meeting up for coffee?"

"Talking about stuff. Your feelings and shit." You hid your slightly amused smile behind your coffee cup before taking a small sip.

"Oh. Yeah, no, I-- I don't. Not until recently." He takes a deep breath. Just like they had told him to. “I’ve been going to this therapy thing my sister recommended. S’not much, but… It’s a start. Talked about the restaurant, my brother—“

“Your brother?” Your eyebrows raise slightly.

“Yeah, my— my brother. Mikey.” He looks a bit surprised. He’s come to the shattering realization that he’s never told you anything about his personal life, ever. You don’t even know about one of the most important people in his life, his main drive. You’ve known each other for so long yet you know so little. “I never told you about him?”

“You never told me anything.” You answer curtly. “We never really… Talked, you know?”

“Yeah— yeah, you’re right. I just thought… Wow.” He smiles, more out of shock than anything. He feels so stupid. How immature is it to be feuding this much with a person who doesn’t know anything about you?

“I guess I really don’t know much about you either.” His fingers rake through his messy curls again. “Makes me feel like even more of an idiot for going off on you like that. Like I had you all figured out.”

“Yeah, that was uh... That was something." The mood shifts a little. His smile fades as soon as he sees the melancholy in your eyes return. Of course it wouldn't be that easy for you to forgive him, to feel better about all this. "You know, I never knew you thought of me like that." A small smile graces your features. Somehow it's sadder than the expression you had before.

"I mean, I knew you didn't like me. I was pretty much at peace with the fact that you were never going to like me, either. But I never thought you hated me that much." You sniffle, trying your hardest to blink away any oncoming tears. "Like your life, your entire career, would have been easier without me there at all."

His heart aches at the sight of you, all teary eyed and trying to be brave. You're much braver than him. Sadness is a much harder thing to express than anger. He's starting to figure that out more and more.

"I don't hate you." He starts. He sees the confusion contort your features, and he knows he's not making any sense. "I mean I did-- I did hate you. Or, maybe not you, just... The fucked up idea I had of you. And-- and that was on me, that was my own fault." He feels an urge to touch you; to rub your back, hold your hand, anything to comfort you. It's tearing him apart to know that he's the cause of all this.

"But why?" A single tear rolls down your cheek, leaving a wet streak on your skin in its wake. "Why did you think that about me? I-- I get that we had a little rivalry going but jesus Carmen, did you really think I spent my whole culinary school career trying to outdo you?"

"To be honest... Yeah." He feels ashamed. So ashamed. He hopes the waitress doesn't walk by and listen to any of this, see you crying, and make you feel even worse. "Cooking was always just... My thing. If I was good for anything, it would be that. So seeing you do so well at something I'd started to base my whole existence around, it made me jealous, so fucking jealous." He meets your eyes, even if it's hard. You have to know he's being sincere.

"And it's-- it's unfair, it's so unfair to you, I know, and I'm really fuckin' sorry. I'm trying to work on myself, on everything, and I hope I can prove that to you." His face has that red tint you recognize whenever he's nervous or stressed. You can tell this is taking a lot from him.

"Is that really all? You were just jealous?" Your voice is quieter, fragile almost.

"I don't know. I wanna think it's that simple but I really don't know. There's a lot I don't understand about me, or you, or us. My mind doesn't know how to react when I see you anymore I think, now that things are different." He takes a deep breath, like saying that took a physical toll on him. "You have this-- this weird effect on me, and I don't know how to cope with it. I think it was just easier to be mad at you than to be anything else."

Anger is easier to express than sadness. The easiest out of all emotions, actually. Sometimes a little too easy.

You look to the side, wiping your cheek with the back of your hand. You huff out something close to a laugh, and though he’s caught off guard by it, he doesn’t mind it. Even if you’re laughing at him, at least that means you’re not crying.

“You’ve got issues Berzatto. You know that?”

“Yeah. I’ve been told.” He smiles, and it’s heartfelt this time. Not nervous, or sad, or awkward. He’s happy to see you a little more at ease.

“It’s just really crazy to me.” You trace your finger over the edge of your coffee cup as you talk. “I spent so much time in culinary school looking up to you. And then I find out you were always just trying to keep up with me.”

Carmen’s eyebrows raise a little at your words. “Looked up to me?”

“Yeah, like… Your drive, your passion, it’s so impressive. Always looking to improve, to do better, it just— it inspired me to do better too. As cheesy as that may sound.” You smiled. “S’why I opened up in Chicago, you know.”

“Really? Huh.” He leaned back in his seat.

“Because I wanted to work with you. Or for you. Either would have been fine with me.” You sigh. “I like owning my own place, but… I don’t know, for some reason I always imagined us working together.” You smiled. “Is that stupid?”

“No,” he replied quickly, “no not at all, I— I totally get that.” He’s quiet for a few seconds, and you can practically hear the gears turning in his head when he stares at you for a moment.

“I mean you’re a remarkable chef, really, like— insanely remarkable, and, well, we’re revamping the restaurant completely right now. We need people— more people, new people, and so, I was wondering— or I’ve been thinking—“ He stops himself from losing his breath from all his rambling, before he freaks you out even more than he already has.

“I want you to come work for us at the Bear.” He puts his hands together, as if he’s about to beg. “Please.”

You can almost hear yourself blinking out of confusion. There’s suddenly no more loud silences, no, the café seems dead quiet for once. All you can do is stare at him, wait for a laugh, because clearly this was a joke right? There’s no way Carmen Berzatto, chef supreme, arch nemesis of yours, would want you anywhere near him, let alone work in his own establishment.

“I’m sorry?”

He feels stupid already. You had every reason to say no. He’d been the biggest asshole in the world to you, he’d kept his distance all his life, and now he expects you to be his employee. Or, well, colleague, more so.

“I’m uh— we’re redoing the restaurant entirely. New equipment, new staff, new everything.” He swallows; the thought of everything that needed to be done arises for a moment. “We need people that work hard, who know what they’re doing and who are passionate about it. And I barely know anyone who’s better at what you do than yourself.” He pauses, waiting for you to stop him. But you don’t.

“So I’m asking if you’d work for me. With me. It won’t be anything like old days, if anything I— I need to learn from you.” He scoffs at himself. “Could take a thing or two about how to communicate with my staff.”

You smile, and he genuinely thinks you’re about to start laughing at him. You chuckle, but it’s not mean, it’s honest. Cute.

“You know, you have great timing.” You grin.

“I do?” the smile on his face reflects the hope he feels.

“One of my chefs wants to take over the place for me. Well, has been wanting to. I haven’t had an exact reason to say yes to her yet.” You shrugged. “Guess I do now.”

“…Is that you saying yes?”

“It’s definitely not me saying no.” Your eyes meet his, and there’s something between you both that’s different now. It’s not like there’s a switch that’s been flipped. It‘s more like this conversation was the turning page of a new chapter.

“I’ll think about it. I want to see it first. Maybe talk to some of your staff.” Carmen’s chest strains a little when he thinks about you interacting with Richie. Then he’s reassured when he thinks about you interacting with Sydney or Marcus. You’d fit in well, you have great feeling for people.

“Yeah— yeah, I get that. Totally. I can arrange that. Uhm, we’re renovating right now, actually, it’s all really kinda wild, but if you wanna stop by, chat with Syd, or Nat, or talk about the plans, let me know. I’m sure they’d love to talk to you.” He’s not lying, you seem like you’d get along well with them. Especially Sydney. Your thinking processes are very similar to each other. And to his.

Carmen gets the bill, even though you try to pay for it.

“It’s just a coffee, just let me get this one.”

You let him have this one, simply because you can’t argue with him after the conversation you just had. You’re in too good of a mood after his proposition too.

He walks you to your car, hands in his pockets when you reach it. It’s cold outside, and his breath comes out in visible puffs of air. His nose is a little red, but you think it looks cute.

“Thanks for coming, by the way,” he starts, “I know you didn’t have to. Like— after how I acted to you. But— But I really do appreciate that you’re givin' me a chance here.” He’d always been confused about how positive and faithful you were in people. He never thought he’d be grateful for those exact features too.

“No worries, I… I had a good time. I’m glad we talked.” The keys jingle as you fidget with them. Among them is a keychain in the shape of a cherry, he recognizes it. It reminds him of how little you’ve both changed. And how much.

“Yeah.” He sighs. Relieved, almost. “Me too. But I’ll let you leave, might wanna tell your chef the good news.”

“Good news?” You quirk an eyebrow.

“That you’re selling them the business.”

“I haven’t decided yet, Carm.” You scoff. But he can tell you have, you look too excited about it all to not have your mind made up yet. It excites him too. Scares him a bit as well, but what’s a new chapter without a bit of tension?

“Right. Sorry.” He huffs. “Just text me when you wanna head over to see the place. It’s uh… It’s a work in progress, but it’s getting somewhere.”

“I believe you. I’m looking forward to it.” You lean back against your car a little.

“Yeah. Me too.”

“See y’around?” You unlock it and walk up to the driver’s side.

“Course. Uh, don’t be a stranger.”

You grin, leaning down to get into the vehicle. “Never with you, Berzatto.”

He watches you drive off, standing in the cold for far longer than any sensible person has any business standing there. But he feels good. He feels warm.

He thinks about what you said to him before you left. You were right, you were never a stranger to him. You were always like a constant in his life; whether you were actually present or not. And even if he didn’t know that much about you, which he was insistent on changing, you were never a stranger.

Never with him.

tag list <3

@beebslebobs @thatone-brightstar  @spr3id  @deadandstill  @777iii  @magicboytrash  @dogdevourer @wiipes @sierrahhh  @crayzmarvelfan800 @azxulaa  @astridyoo15   @rexorangecouny  @azxulaa @jointherebellion215 @diorrfairy @chanluuvr @idontexist-anymore @wolfiealina

#carmenmath #aster writes the bear #carmen berzatto writing #carmen berzatto x fem!reader #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x you #carmen berzatto the bear #carmen berzatto imagine #carmen berzatto fic #carmen berzatto blurb #carmen berzatto x y/n #jeremy allen white imagine #jeremy allen white fic #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto the bear fx

[superpowered-dirt]

i never post on here but i have so much in my head about twd: the ones who live i honestly feel like i might explode.

i know all anyone really wants to talk about from episode 2 is That Part of their reunion (which is fair, don't ask me how many times I rewatched it), but now, the part that keeps playing over and over again in my head is this tiny bit:

and i just need to say, danai and andy are so insanely talented bc this clip?? this clip—short as it is, with not a world of dialogue—says SO much about where our two characters are at.

first, rick. i watch this clip and i think holy shit, yeah, that is a broken man. andy does a masterful job at displaying through his eyes and the way he carries himself the extent of the psychological damage and anguish within rick, not to mention the guilt he carries. you can see the gears turning in his head as he reminds himself how he basically gave up on her. how he gave up on himself. how he told himself that he was done, he was never seeing her again, and let himself fold into the CRM. i think it's safe to say he hates himself for his choice to move on. he's utterly crushed by it. like look at him, he can't even meet her eyes!!

and michonne? she sees it. once the euphoria of I Found You has begun to wear off and she lets herself really take him in, she immediately clocks that this is not the same rick that "died" on the bridge. not the rick that led alexandria. not the rick that got them out of terminus. and definitely not the rick that stood up to the saviors. in fact, the last time she saw this version of him, it was right after the first time they ever lost to negan, and that horrifies her, because if that rick is back, then something truly terrible has happened. the look on her face in the clip says a million things, but most loudly, she's wondering, understandably and devastatingly, "my love, what have they done to you?"

the final clue for her that her rick is gone, at least for now, is their next interaction. since forever, both of their instincts anytime they've been told that something bad is coming their way have been to either hoof it for the safety of their family or stand back to back and dispatch the threat. it's the panic in his voice, the sheer desperation as he pleads with her to stand down instead and hide herself after she suggests they go that tells her she has no idea what he's been through or what she's in for now that she's in the shit with him. and even now, if the trailer for E03 has been any indication, she still fails to grasp the danger they're both in. i know what people online have been saying, but she's not being careless, this is michonne we're talking about, she just doesn't understand how careful she really has to be. and then throw jadis and her bitch ass bowl cut into the mix and suddenly a whole new threat looms over alexandria and the commonwealth that ultimately all comes back on rick too? the guilt he now has to face for not only dragging his wife into his mess, but through jadis, also his daughter and all his friends?? and if he finds out now that he has a son too, then there's even more guilt??????

i could go on for hours but i won't. all i'll say is that we're definitely in for such an emotional ride tomorrow. and really there's no one else i trust more than andy and danai to deliver that for us.

#the ones who live #the walking dead #twd #towl spoilers #i have a lot of feelings about them #and i'm ready for the angst #as long as there's a happy ending #preferably one where everyone survives

[braxlrose]

Can you write about Bill having a partner that’s essentially like Avril Lavigne? That could be cool

a/n: I envy avril lavigne sooo let's do this, I scrolled all the way down through my asks and I never saw this so sorry this is so late!

edit: LMFAO IM SORRY 😭

also a shout out to @millzieraa cuz ik you lost your old account which was @krav3nn, so go check her account out you guys!!

bill w/ a avril lavigne wannabe gf who's like avril lavigne

-he literally is obsessed with the way you dress. he thinks you look so cool and yall borrow eachother clothes all the time. im not joking, he actually thinks your style is the awesome and loves how close it is to his style

-he goes to skate parks with you and watches you do a bunch of tricks. like whenever you do one and do it really good he's smiling and clapping and all this shit. he also would love it if you taught him or tried to teach me how to do some tricks.

-if you do end up teaching him some stuff he totally shows it off on tokio hotel tv

-he also loves you a lot because you and tom get along really well. you and tom are a lot a like a tons of ways so he's happy that you're able to get along with his brother. he doesn't date girls who can't get along with tom.

-would literally dieeeee if you made a song about him. like he thinks your musik is amazing so he would love it if you made a song about him.

-he also writes songs about you. he can't help it. he's just so in love with you and thinks you're the coolest person ever. he loves you so much and will write multiple songs about you.

-one of the reasons he fell for you is because you weren't afraid to be yourself and didn't want others to hide who they were either. (let's pretend avrils music is music you actually make). like the song complicated, he loves how you just want people to be themselves and not change for anybody

-he also loves how fun and accepting you are. he likes people who are fun and spontaneous and you're just that

-totally does musik collabs with you and your band

-helps you dye your hair colors

-you and your band and tokio hotel go to parties together all the time. you and Bill both get equally drunk and just make out and dance together all night

-if there's a language barrier between you two, he'll figure out a way to communicate with you

-loves watching you play guitar and tom always gets kinda jealous if you play something better than him

-you two go shopping together at thrift stores allll the time to find new cool clothes

-is literally the best at giving you birthday presents since you and him have so much in common

-he gets your name tattooed on him

-he loves going to your concerts and watching you sing and play guitar. moving around stage and just listening to your amazing voice

-he also loves it when you come to his concerts, he gets so happy when he can see you in the crowd or if you're backstage and you give him a kiss for good luck before a concert

-thought it was the coolest thing when you wrote Sk8ter Boi (let's pretend it's about tom, and that the end of the song is changed bc obviously you don't end up w/ tom). but yeah he loved it and thought it was super awesome

-the band is really important to him and since you're in the musik business you're able to understand that the band is the most important thing to him and he really loves that about you. he had his last girlfriend break up with him because she said he didn't have enough time for him so he's really glad you're able to understand how much the band means to him and everything

taglist: @hearts4kaulitz @burntb4bydoll @spelaelamela @bored0writer @fishinaband @billsleftnutt @tokiiohot @bluepoptartwithsprinkles @saumspam @5hyslv7 @billybabeskaulitz

#tokio hotel #bill kaulitz #tokio hotel x reader #tokio hotel smut #fluff #smut #bill kaulitz x reader #bill kaulitz smut #avril lavigne #bill kaulitz being sexy as hell #bill being the little flirty cutie pie he is #bill kaulitz fanfic #bill kaulitz imagines #2007 bill kaulitz #avril lavigne reader x bill #x reader #x yn #x y/n #x bill kaulitz #headcanons #fluffy stuff #i love avril lavigne #are there avril lavigne fanfics???

[ellabism]

ive come up with more plot for my lovers to enemies and then enemies to lovers ellabs fic idea. if you dont know what that is i talk about it here

i think that this would all take place on both their day ones when they see each other for the first time. i can envision abby being out on her run with mel and manny when the gunfire can be heard and they see the WLF chasing this girl and ordering her to be killed. manny would talk about how its the trespasser that everyone has been has been talking about, and how they're a kill on sight target. but when abby aims her weapon for a clear shot, thats when she realizes its her. her long lost girlfriend from when they were young teenagers that she was almost certain was already dead. ellie notices that its her too. they spend the moment in silence together, both bewildered. a gunshot rings, which would remind ellie where she is and what is happening, and thats when she takes that opening for her to escape.

the reason why i think it should happen on their day ones is because i think then abby's priority will shift from traveling across seattle to find owen to instead find ellie because what the fuck was that. why is my girlfriend from years ago that i just assumed died in a FEDRA attack is actually alive and why is she in seattle and why do the WLF want her dead? and when she gets back to the stadium from her patrol she sneaks out to go find her.

towards the end of seattle day 2 is when they finally run into each other and it would take place of the boat scene and instead ellie and abby will fuck in some random building bc i said so. ellie is just as bewildered that her ex is actually alive and not dead but she also can't help but be enthralled at her muscle growth and her build and things go one way and abbys fucking the shit out of ellie.(yes ellies a bottom in ellabs i dont make the rules) this would be so juicy to me because instead of the regular story of owen cheating on mel its ellie cheating on dina. and after waking up next to abby the next morning she realizes what the fuck she just did and she gets terrified and runs off, leaving abby to wake up alone, and she has to find her. again. is it just abby's thinking or did ellie get more stubborn the older she got?

ellies a fucking mess on her way back to the theater because she doesn't know what she did and why she did it because she has a pregnant girlfirend back at the theater waiting for her return. shes so distraught she can barley focus on getting back safely. but thats before tommy ends up running into her. tommy tells her all the intel he's collected on the WLF and shares leah's photocards he found and he points at a girl with a long blonde braid next to some man, explaining that that's the person who killed joel. and ellies eye's widened. abby. she did it. she killed joel. as if ellie's emotions weren't scattered around her brain now she's in a full out panic attack and feels sick and throws up. her girlfriend from years ago, one that she shared many laughs and dumb memories with, was the one to brutally murder joel.

abby's out looking for ellie once again, she's not letting ellie keep running away from her. especially not after what happened last night. on her journey she runs into manny. manny is asking her where the fuck she's been. the WLF have been looking for her, and isaac just assumed she went awol and became an enemy of theirs. but abby doesn't care. she wants to know why the girl they ran into on their run is shoot on sight. and that's when manny explains that these trespassers, who are not scars, have been hitting them hard. he tells her that these trespassers killed some of their closest friends. danny, leah, jordan, nora, owen and mel. (tommy ended up doing most, since ellie had other things going on, but she still contributed nonetheless). and now its abby's turn to feel sick. all this time she was out chasing for ellie to have some type of hopes of having her join them and be together again, finding out that she's here murdering her friends, but why?

abby, now seething, is still going to search for ellie. but not with the same idea she originally had in mind.

yall i need this fic to be picked up PLEASE. i cannot write series or develop characters to save my life. but i need to see this fic actually come to live its all i ask for PLEASE.

#ellabs #ellie williams #abby anderson #the last of us #the last of us 2 #abby x ellie #ellie x abby #silly headcanons #tlou2 #tlou #yall please write this #i am so desperate #i want to see this be a thing

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

people's reaction to avery getting kidnapped head canons

the person who requested the jameson kidnapping head canons also requested i do this for avery so here it is! this is my only post today cause i had no time to write last night (i write them at night but post in the morning). hope you like them <3. @never-enough-novels asked to be tagged and also inspired some of these hcs.

jameson:

he'd immediately get out his emergency alcohol stash for situations like this. it contains all of the strongest, most expensive alcohol on the market.

he is looking for clues day and night. he does not stop to eat, drink, sleep, talk (unless it has to do with clues or smth), breathe, etc.

at some point, though, he faints due to overworking himself and shit and he wakes up in nash's arms. he starts wailing and nash is there stroking his hair comforting him cause he can't breathe.

he would literally murder the person who kidnapped her the second he found them. he'd probably plunge a knife into his dick and electrocute his balls (if he's a guy).

he'd kiss her all over and cuddle her the second they got her back. he would literally not let anyone touch her and he wouldn't let go of her (not even to let the doctors and professionals give her a check up to make sure she’s alright, he’d insist on doing it himself with the doctor’s instructions).

grayson:

has literally hired all of the best private investigators/police officers in the world to help cause he knows that the longer it takes to find her, the more chances there are she's already dead (and he doesn't like knowing she's suffering)

he'd be thinking up the worst case scenarios in his head (jamie too). torture/murder/SA, etc.

he's being reminded of emily the whole time and how he lost her. he thinks the same is happening to avery

he's clinging onto xander the entire time bc he's freaking out and running around everywhere, and someone needs to make sure xander doesn't accidently fall out of a window.

ends up stealing from jamie's emergency alcohol stash bc he's dying on the inside.

xander (he's extremely worried and sad but im gonna make some slightly funnier hcs cause yk):

it happens so often he created some sort of emergency alert system that goes off on everyone's phone when she goes missing (dont ask me how this works).

actually considers buying cocaine to loosen up (and actually buys it). nash catches him coming back home though and runs around after him trying to smack his head whilst xander is also running and swinging himself off of tree branches to escape his scary ass brother.

the entire situation in my last head canon convinced xander to try to act like a monkey for an entire to day to see what it would be like and note the differences between how humans and monkeys act (although he doesn't do it while avery is gone cause he's too scared about her dying and shit)

doesn't actually end up doing drugs though and gives it to the police officers cause they are being run dry by grayson and he pities them.

he's creating a gift bag/care package for avery for when she returns. he's gaslit himself into thinking there's a 100% possibility that she is returning (the one time he's allowed himself to calculate smth wrongly)

trying to pretend this is an episode of keeping up with the kardashians (even though he hates the kardashians) to lighten things up.

nash:

steals cocaine from the police officers bc he needs it too. he is completely freaking out.

in a corner holding libby in his arms, rocking her back and forth, telling her everything will be ok, and that he'll do anything in his power to get avery back.

literally puts the handcuffs on the kidnapper himself and drags his ass to jail (not before giving him a good beating)

he's cleaning up all of the branches that xander ripped off of the trees somehow when he was running away from him.

after the kidnapping, he literally does not let avery out of his sight. he's is constantly following her and keeping oren company during his night shifts.

libby:

literally crying in the corner having a panic attack. she's trying to curl in on herself and make herself small in order to not bother the officers and stuff. (sad ik but i think this is in character)

she's binge eating bc that's when she does when she's nervous but can't bring herself to bake stuff.

at some point tried to go bake but thought the huge bag of cocaine xander got his hands on was flour and she ended up ruining the batch of cupcakes (this was close to when they found avery so it didn't mess with the investigation. also they realized not long after they were baked so..)

helping xander create the gift bag/care package bc he offered and she needs a distraction.

the second they find the kidnapper, she bashed this guy so hard he ended up crying. people just stared at her in shock bc they did not know she could talk to someone like that (but also impressed)

max:

she is considering taking the drugs xander bought but is scared her mom will somehow find out.

she's trying to convince xander that he is not capable of playing in the next tarzan film just bc he's capable of swinging on tree branches

when they find the kidnapper, she swears so hard (not her fake swearing) people are terrified. she looks like she'd be capable of killing everyone in the room in one sweep. (even grayson and oren are scared)

she's knitting a blanket with nan in order to get her hands to do smth other than shake and shit. nan tries to get her to talk about all of the gossip at her school and stuff to distract her.

she adds the kidnapper's name to her burn book.

alisa:

she is literally having an aneurysm trying to stop grayson from getting the entire hawthorne family canceled cause he's treating the officers like shit.

actually hugs and kisses avery's cheek when they find her. she was terrified but would never admit that to anyone.

oren:

he is constantly on coffee runs trying to keep everyone awake so they can find avery.

hooks up with zara after they find her bc he needs to unwind somehow.

#the inheritance games #jameson hawthorne #avery grambs #grayson hawthorne #nash hawthorne #xander hawthorne #libby grambs #alisa ortega #averyjameson #maxine liu #john oren

[ryverbind]

Faceless Fixation (Sal Fisher): Beg For It [21]

TW: smut :P

_______________

dacnorthxx started following you.

sallysusedtoiletpaper: VI WHO IS THIS WHO IS NORTH WHY IS THIS INTERACTION GIVING ME LIFE??? t0ddles2: @sallysusedtoiletpaper frontman of dark autumn complex sallysusedtoiletpaper: @t0ddles2 oh omg ok... I've never heard of them are they any good?? ashypoops: I haven't heard of them either. What genre? More importantly DOES VI HAVE HER VERY FIRST SHIP toodswithoutthed: @ashypoops I WAS ABOUT TO ASK BC THE CHEMISTRY!?!? they're obsessed w each other... I went stalk his profile. Ship name options: northlence, violeth... t0ddles2: they're rock/metal. even if u don't like the genre, they're worth a listen sallysusedtoiletpaper: WORD I just followed him and their band account >:3 also @toodswithoutthed I'm personally a fan of violeth. I'm linking this shit in the faces fan discord ashypoops: THERE'S A FAN DISCORD??? can u send me an invite pooks🥺 sallysusedtoiletpaper: @ashypoops ofc😘 sallysusedtoiletpaper: OMFG SOMEONE BEAT ME TO THE CHAT EVERYONE KNOWS NOOOOOO

———

Yea, so I lost my job. Big shocker.

Once my boss found out that I dipped mid-shift, the text was typed out and sent by the evening.

In any other situation, I'd be fucked. Indefinitely. Completely broke and flailing to get a new job. In fact, that was my first thought. As soon as I got the text, I clicked onto my bank account to check how much I'd have to live off of until I found a new job--

--only to find out that I had over $2,000 just sitting around, which was such a nice surprise. I don't think I've ever had so much money to my name before in my entire life. And all the transactions were straight from all my streaming apps. All within the past two weeks since being back in LA.

To say the least, losing my job couldn't have happened at a better time. Now, I can put my focus into something I actually enjoy doing.

But first, a trip to Nockfell, which is proving to be more chaotic by the second.

"Todd, dude, there's a chemistry to this thing, okay? It's a ritual," Larry says, all seriousness and business face as he stares back into Todd's uninterested gaze. "I can't fly without it."

Todd blinks, a flash of frustrated disappointment crossing over his features. "You're not taking an edible before the flight, Lartholomew."

Ash had a ticket ready for me before she even got to LA yesterday. Her entire mastermind plan was to abduct me whether I liked it or not-- not that I would've said no to begin with. And besides, having her at the apartment to help me pack last minute made pre-flight stress non-existent.

Travis is camping out at my apartment. He was more than happy to kick me out of my own house, claiming that my bed is comfiest anyway. Regardless, he said he had no desire to return to Nockfell anyway. And dad was just excited for me to go visit considering how much I've complained about missing the little town over all these years.

Sal and I haven't spoken since his last commanding text to me. Right before his very sudden face reveal. He's caught in an almost petrifying silence-- has been since he put his prosthetic back on. I, on the other hand, very much resemble a little puppy whimpering and begging at his feet. Metaphorically, of course. I wouldn't dare to physically exploit my internal thoughts.

The really sickening truth is that I'm so desperate to see his face again that I'd trip him down a flight of stairs just to recreate yesterday's scene.

Just kidding. I don't mean that. I definitely don't.

"All our seats are kind of screwed up, so I have no idea where you're sitting, sugar." Ash pokes my cheek, her chin in her palm and elbow propped on the armrest of her seat. "I bought them kind of last minute so I took whatever they had available."

A little smile tips my lips as I turn my attention away from the grumpy smurf and focus on my stunning best friend. Her viridian irises glow with renewed joy and energy like our plans check off so many bullet points on her bucket list. "That's okay," I reply, tilting my head. "At least we actually have seats, right?"

Ash grins, her maroon shaded lips accentuating the light freckles along the bridge of her nose. "See?" she chirps, arm winding through mine to pull me closer. "You get it. When do you not get it?"

Our plane calls for us to board, and so begins the toxic, anxiety-inducing split-up of the century. I lose all The Faces somewhere in the crowded line that gathers at our gate in just a matter of seconds. That's okay though, I'll probably end up sitting with some old lady that smells like an odd mixture of peonies, Dial soap, and Lysol. You know, a funeral home and two colds away from death. So long as she's nice, I'll catch her dentures when they fall out of her gaping mouth as she naps.

Anything for MawMaw.

I hobble my way into the plane, brain set on finding my seat before stressing about all other one hundred and fifty two things I have to worry about later. People are everywhere and it's, expectedly, a huge plane. Three rows-- two seaters against each wall and a row of three seats down the middle. Sickening, really. Social anxiety's worst enemy is looking for means of escape only to be met by even more people.

I block everyone out as best as I can, pretending that the people I bump into are just very dense pieces of furniture. Or, actually, even better-- a bunch of really buff kitties. Yep, just passing through a horde of Maine Coon's and Munchkin's.

I spot row F, my pupils zeroing in on the letter like a scope on a gun. Target acquired.

The majestic way I veer around what my mind imagines is a really tall Siamese and their spouse, a yellow Persian, is something that the directors of The Matrix are pissed that they couldn't come up with. I swing my foot around a figurative pair of paws and reach my free hand out to grip onto my seat-- F20. That's right bitches, I did it.

I swing my suitcase up, somehow managing to actually get it into the overhead compartment. I give it a good shove with both of my hands and a grunt, then pull the backpack off my shoulders to keep it at my feet when I sit down.

But now that I've stopped, cats are pushing past me and it's so aggressive and rushed that they suddenly aren't sweet, fluffy kitties anymore. They're people again and I'm starting to get dragged away from my seat by this sea of shared distress.

Nimble fingers latch onto my wrist from the seat beside mine-- the seat against the window. The hand tightens around me, giving my body a good yank forward. I use the aided force to weave my way around a few more people up until the hand pulls me into my seat.

I huff out a breath, pushing my hair out of the eyeholes of my mask. And begrudgingly, I turn my head to meet bright cerulean hair.

Sal isn't looking at me, he's facing the window. His entire stature gives off a mixture of unbothered and ashamed. He shouldn't feel that second one-- never. Granted, he shouldn't feel angry half as much as he does but that's besides the point.

Ever since it happened, I could tell that the abrupt exposure of his face has been heavily weighing on him. I don't owe this man a single thing-- he's been awful to me in so many ways, but I give credit where credit is due. Not only did he own up and apologize to me yesterday, he helped me to my seat... and he is handsome. Regardless of how he views himself.

He's my biggest enemy and I, his. But if I plan on getting fucked during my visit to Nockfell, I have to give him the Beating of Truth.

"So," I mumble, chewing on the inside of my cheek. If you couldn't tell, I'm absolutely forcing myself to do this even though it's the last thing I want to do. "How are we working around Ash, Larry, and Todd when we get to Nockfell?"

Sal's head tips up a bit, like he's wondering to himself if I actually just spoke to him. Then his head pivots sideways so that he can side-eye me.

"What?" He asks, voice genuinely shocked and confused. It makes my heart stutter a bit. Any time he speaks in a tone that isn't aggressive, it completely reboots my system.

"How are we going to follow through with this arrangement?" I try again, simplifying it into Sal terms. He has a wide vocabulary range; maybe using bigger words will snap some sense into him. For added effect, I lean onto the armrest separating him and I, trying to show that he doesn't repulse me or anything of the sort.

Sal doesn't move away, instead, he adjusts his body so that he can address me. Fully turns his prosthetic face to me and settles into his seat. I didn't realize how tense he was when I first sat down, but watching him relax now shows me how much my simple mention of our agreement settled his mental turmoil.

He's quiet for a moment, eyes dancing across my mask and body before his gaze meets mine again. "You still want to?" he finally decides to ask, eyebrows lifting beneath his prosthetic.

"Yea," I snort, scrunching my nose up as if his question is ridiculous. "Why wouldn't I?"

Okay, stupid question. I know the answer and the words came out before I could stop them. In more ways than others, that was a genuine response though. I can't accept that Sal would be so put off by his own appearance because I truly think it's so lovely. I have to remember though that not everyone sees themselves the way I see them though.

Sal's brows bunch together again, his eyes narrowing. "Stupid fucking question," he echoes my own thoughts, voice even and void of tone. Whoopsie.

I roll my own eyes, sighing. "Well, to settle the whole debacle," I start, aiming to just bite the bullet and extinguish the awkwardness and misplaced fear vibrating between us. "I think you're quite the catch."

Friendly banter is weird. Borderline uncomfortable, but... not quite. Just so that I'm ready to get this over with but I'd be prepared for it to happen again.

A nasally snort leaves Sal and he rotates his head so that he's facing the pair of seats in front of us.

"So," he prods, ignoring my statement. "North?"

Mission success. I know he'll never admit it and he doesn't need to, but I think he appreciates the compliment.

"What's it to you?" I counter, adjusting my position in turn. I sit criss-cross applesauce in my seat, making sure my feet don't touch Sal because God forbid. "You still get to fuck me."

"Not much," he says lowly, hand moving to ruffle up his fringe. There's that dagger tattoo again. And then his head tilts just a bit, haunting sapphire blue piercing straight through my soul like the weapon etched onto his skin. "But you're mine. North can't give you even an ounce of what I can."

Fuzzy fingers, a pounding heart, and the worst case of cold sweats possible dominates my body for the rest of the flight. My brain replays that statement over and over again, plaguing me with recurring physical reactions like I've just heard it in real life again. I wish he hadn't said anything at all if it was going to leave me like this.

Neither of us said another word. The only sound between the two of us was the constant cracking of my knuckles accompanied by me putting my feet on the ground-- then sitting criss-cross again-- then having to readjust again and again and again. He left me quite literally restless and I'm sure he's relishing in just the knowledge of it.

Landing in Nockfell was a quick divergence from bubbly hearted affliction in my being. A good distraction from Sal.

Perpetual autumn. Nockfell never gets too hot or cold. The air is always misty, the sky always grey and cloudy. Tall, ever-growing trees dominate both night and day, stealing all the light from the sun and hiding it in their leafy treetops. Nockfell houses the kind of atmosphere that I've dreamt of returning to for years now; the gentle eeriness and chill that I've longed to bask in ever since I left.

We step out of the airport and into the small parking lot where a suspiciously blue haired man is waving at us with a big, dad-like grin on his face. Not a question in my mind. That's Sal's dad-- the cropped, receding cerulean hair was the first obvious sign but as we grow closer, his bright azure eyes are the second giveaway.

"Wassup, daddio!" Larry exclaims, wrapping Sal's father up in a huge bear hug (which is so Emo Buff Daddy of him). I nearly forgot that Sal's dad, who I now know as Henry, is also Larry's step-dad. Crazy.

"Not much, big guy!" Henry chuckles, rubbing Larry's back affectionately once the hug comes to an end. He pats Larry's shoulder, that big smile still on his aged face. "You guys brought the friend back! Convinced her to come huff up our humid air?"

Henry moves over to Ash, Todd, and then Sal to hug all of them. He purposefully places a discreet kiss on top of Sal's head before turning to me.

He holds his arms open suggestively and my heart flutters. "You okay with hugs?" He asks me. "Everyone's family here."

A grin of my own sneaks onto my face as I take a little step toward Henry and wrap my arms around his middle.

Henry's arms latch around my body, shielding me from the moist, heavy air of Nockfell and anything else that could possibly hurt me here. His embrace is so comforting, so familiar, so protective that tears I've been holding back for weeks suddenly rush to the surface.

I love my own dad, he's perfect, but being hugged by his near doppelgänger reminds me of how much I miss him. I wish dad and I weren't apart so often. But that'll change soon with the money I'm making.

I don't allow myself to weep, I hide the tears and pull away from the comforting hug I needed so desperately to smile sweetly at Henry. Lovely man, his own smile widens.

The group of us piles into Henry's old 2000 Nissan Pathfinder to navigate around Nockfell.

We first stop at Ash's place-- a home I haven't seen in a decade now. Everything is so nostalgic-- the tall, two story, white-painted, wooden home and the canopy of evil-looking trees that hide it from the road reminds me of a time that's been ripped away from me.

Ash leans on the door of Henry's SUV, the window down for her to speak to me before she disappears. "I'll come by Sal's or the apartments later to scoop you up, 'kay? Parents and I have a meeting with some guys to transfer ownership of some things to me before the move." She chews on her lip, a deep yearning in her pretty eyes. "I'd let you stay with me if I could."

I shake my head at her-- I don't want her to feel guilty for handling business. "No that's okay." I tell her sweetly, grabbing onto her hand. "I'll kickback with the guys."

Ash smiles, squeezing my hand in hers before breaking off to head to her house.

Now, I never imagined I'd end up coming back to Nockfell in general, but to stand in Sal Fisher's home? These were even more improbable odds.

And worse, Todd suddenly slips out of the house with the very mean (he's ditching me!) excuse of meeting with Neil for a late lunch. That just leaves me, Larry, and Sal standing in the spacious kitchen of their shared two-story home. It's quaint, roomy, and pretty nice. I imagine it's kept up specifically because Sal tends to it.

And Sal, he doesn't say anything. Which is typical behavior from him. He only, swiftly, spins on his heels, luggage in hand, and disappears into a room right past the stairs. Okay, fair. It's late in the afternoon-- naptime.

And now it's down to two.

I look to Larry with a grin. And he's grinning back excitedly, wiggling around like an antsy child who's about to go on a field trip.

"I can't believe we managed to get you over here," he whisper-yells, screaming silently. You know, just open-mouthed and head tipped to the ceiling in pure excitement.

"Even Copernicus wouldn't be able to debunk this turn of events," I joke, watching Larry dance around his kitchen. I put my bags down. I'm sure we'll figure out this situation later when Ash returns.

Larry opens up his refrigerator, moving around some bottles before uttering an expletive. "Ah, fuck," he hisses out, quickly lifting his head which results in him slamming said head into the freezer door. I pause, wincing, eyeing his silhouette warily while awaiting whatever he has to say next.

He resurfaces from the fridge, rubbing his aching head and chewing on his bottom lip. "I left my fucking bags in Henry's car." He curses again, glancing up at me with agitated eyes. "I have to run over to the apartments real quick." Larry starts inching away from the fridge and I feel my heart leap. How could he forget his luggage in the car? And is he really about to leave me here with the master of aggressive seduction himself? We're bound to tear this house apart either via sex or a physical fight. I just don't know which one.

"I'll be like... ten minutes at most," Lar says, squeezing past me and around the kitchen table, rerouting to the front door. He gives me a look that screams vulnerability and urgency. "Please don't kill Sal, and don't let him kill you. Okay? I'll be back in a jiffy."

I blink at him, running my tongue along the inside of my dry mouth. This is not going to go well. "Okay," I say anyway. I can already see the headline on the newspaper-- 'Masked Streamer, Sally Face, Brutally Murders and Chops Up Rising Streamer, VioletViolence, With Kitchen Knife.'

Larry nods at me, pinches his lips together in a moment of concerned hesitation, then disappears through the front door.

I stand in the empty kitchen for a moment, watching the back of Larry's head through the front door window. "In a jiffy..." I murmur to myself, recalling the most soccer-mom words I've ever heard come from Larry's vicinity. It was so odd, I mean he would never say something like that, but here we are.

The house is empty aside from myself and Sal. What the hell am I supposed to do? Watch The Office?-- well, that actually doesn't sound bad at all.

I can literally do anything I want, though. I have been given the most opportune opportunity to act upon my will as I see fit. With that in mind accompanied by the suspiciously good conversation a certain blue-haired individual and I shared on the plane, I think I have an idea of what I could do. And I know I'll have a willing partner. 

This will either end in a homicide via kitchen knife or an orgasm. I'll take my chances.

A sly little grin fights its way onto my lips as I spin on my heels, trekking over to Sal's room. His door is closed, giving him an ample amount of darkness to hide in while gaming or sleeping or whatever he's doing. But for me, it's the ample amount of darkness to create a moody setting. It's perfect.

The cold, metal doorknob sits comfortably in the palm of my hand as I give myself one last chance to think about this. I really shouldn't do this, but the timing will never be this good again. With everyone moving to LA, I may never get a chance this convenient since someone will always be around.

That's the last little bit of encouragement I need to twist the knob and slowly push the plain, white painted door open.

The wood squeaks on its hinges, making Sal turn his head up from his PC. His dark, shadowed eyes meet mine. They go from curious to a bit miffed in half a second— but he doesn't say anything, really just ignores me and turns back to his setup.

My heart races. He didn't turn me away or tell me to get the fuck out of his room. That's a good start. But that also means I can actually follow through with my very sudden plan— a plan which has no plan. I didn't even brainstorm what I could do because I genuinely didn't think I'd get this far.

I watch him closely, noting the way his computer casts a cool, blue glow against his prosthetic. His hand moves the mouse around and he clicks on various things, really paying me no mind at all.

My teeth clamp onto my bottom lip as I step past the threshold of his room, grabbing hold of the door and slowly closing it behind me. Once it latches into place, I wait, simply observing the man with my back to the door. For good measure, I turn the lock. You know, just in case I manage to get somewhere.

And he still doesn't look my way. The fact that he's ignoring my presence right now makes anticipation build up within me. My heart thumps a little faster than it already has been. My cheeks feel warm, I can't keep my hands still. It's like my brain is kicked into overdrive, forcing me to take notice of every little thing.

I lick my lips and take a step forward, scratching at the skin on my knuckles. I take another step, then another, my body growing warm with anxiousness all because I may stand in front of this man, present myself to him, and come to regret it. I really might embarrass myself. Just because we agreed doesn't mean he wants me at this exact moment.

But before I'm even really prepared, I'm standing right beside him. And he's sitting there without a care in the world, comfortably propped up in his gaming chair and pulling up different comments on what looks to be YouTube.

I've done about all I can for right now, but we are on limited time. So I watch him for a moment. He has to know I'm right here— I wasn't quiet, I didn't avoid his field of vision. I'm right here.

And I still get nothing.

Time to think. Should I say something insulting? That usually gets him riled up. Maybe then, one thing will lead to another.

I bounce on my heels for a second as I think up a quick insult. "Is this how you waste your time? Figured you'd at least reply to some of your fans if you were going to read their comments. Kinda shitty of you." Low blow probably. I don't really mean it, but I'm sure he'll take it seriously. His fans mean a lot to him, it's the best way to gain his attention.

But Sal doesn't even react, only scrolls through a few replies under a comment and clicks 'like' on a some. He doesn't flinch. Doesn't look at me. Never makes a sound.

I roll my eyes. Playing hard to get are we? He fusses at me for not complying all the time— he's such a hypocritical asshole. I hate that I'm into it.

I swallow thickly, putting my hands behind my back to try and hide my nervous fidgeting. "Sal," I try, cringing a bit. That was desperation— he has to know that.

Again, nothing.

He really must be trying to piss me off, that or he isn't interested at all. But thankfully, the zero interest half doesn't stink like I was afraid it would. Instead, it spurs me into action.

He can ignore my words all he wants, but he can't ignore me.

"I'm going to touch you," I warn because consent is important. "If you don't want that, you need to tell me."

I wait a good thirty seconds but he stays silent.

I pinch my lips together then grab onto the armrest of his chair, pulling it back just enough to place my body between him and his computer. He simply looks up at me with disinterested eyes, so I go further, fueled by the spark in my soul and the rage of him purposefully pretending I'm not even there.

I take a step forward and put a gentle hand on his shoulder for balance, then easily slide myself onto his lap. His thighs are warm beneath my own, his skin smooth under my fingertips. The dark ink on his biceps contrasts beautifully with the milky color of his skin and it's quite an honor to finally run my hands over his art.

I watch the way my fingers drag down his arm then up again, returning to his shoulder. I'm on top of him and he still hasn't said a word, still hasn't touched me. At this point, I'm yearning for something— anything.

The only good sign I'm getting is that he hasn't pushed me off.

I glance up, looking into his blue eyes that are darkened by the shadows of his room. They're watching me closely, no ounce of emotion reflected in them. He's just observing.

My other hand travels to his prosthetic face, gripping onto his jaw in the way that he does to me so often. "Think you can ignore me?" I whisper, a little smirk quirking my lips despite how badly I wish I could contain it.

A slight furrowing of his brows is what I get in return.

Ha, got him.

He still doesn't say anything, but I've piqued his interest at least.

"Larry's gone," I say next, my eyes traveling to the rough prosthetic in my hands. I run my thumb over the underside of his jaw, feeling a number of scars.

"I assumed so," he says, voice a bit deeper than it normally would be and toneless like it seems to have been all day.

My gaze meets his again, and this time there's a little fire in his pretty eyes. There's desire, interest, slow-building exhilaration. I love seeing this look on him.

"Mhm," I hum, moving my other hand from his shoulder to the side of his neck. "Are you going to sit here and ignore me like the asshole you are, or are you going to have mercy on both of us?"

Sal slowly blinks, eyes traveling over my form, drinking me in like I'm the last drop of water on earth. "You called me an asshole for a reason," he bites out. "Don't expect much. Unlike you, I can actually hold out."

"But what's the point of holding out?" I counter, tilting my head to the left. "Larry's heading to the apartments. We have about ten minutes. That's enough room for one of a couple options. Stop being a little prick and do something."

"More like twenty. Larry takes his sweet ass time." Sal's eyes narrow. "You think insulting me is going to coerce me into this, you little bitch? Thought you knew our dynamic well enough by now." My words are getting to him. That's exactly what I want.

"I do know our dynamic," I whisper, leaning my head down so that my face is level with his. I look into his cerulean eyes and they gaze back at me, one pupil dilated. Then, I bend lower until I'm at the nape of his neck, his hair tickling my jaw.

I use the hand holding his face to tilt his head up and away from me, using the angle as leverage to place my lips onto his warm skin.

I hear a muffled sigh from him in response and it takes everything in me not to smile.

My mouth moves slowly along the side of his neck, placing meaningful, wet kisses along his throat. But when I get to the hilt of his tattoo, I bit down gently.

He flinches at the feeling of my teeth digging into his skin, then completely aborts his mission to ignore me completely.

Sal's hands fly to my waist, one gripping tightly onto my hip and the other trailing up my back and into my hair, gripping the strands tightly before yanking my head back.

My teeth are ripped from his neck immediately and Sal pulls me away from him by the base of my neck. I gasp, staring into his captivating azure eyes from just centimeters away. His prosthetic nose bumps my mask's and he holds me there without a word.

His eyes trail down my face and heavy breaths follow his gaze. His cold fingers are curled into my neck, his nails digging into my skin.

I swallow, wondering if maybe I should have just minded my own business, stayed in the living room and waited for Larry to come back. Maybe I pissed him off.

I lick my lips and blink at him, my mouth gapes open as I try to find something to say. He's silent. It's not awkward, just scary. Scary is ten times worse.

Sal must see the regret and fear in my eyes because his own eyes lessen their harsh glare a bit and then he rasps out, "Can I touch you?"

Every inch of my body goes rigid with shock, anticipation. "Yes," I say, my voice barely above a whisper. My fingers tighten ever so slightly on the underside of his jaw while my heart runs an entire marathon in my chest. Now is not the time to get nervous because I sweat when I'm nervous. I need to be horny– not nervous.

Sal takes a deep breath, eyes set on mine. I feel his chest rise ever so slowly, then go back down the same exact way. The pause between us is utter agony and I feel like I'm going to start spazzing out or something. Honestly, with the way I'm sitting on top of him, I might just fall over and die on the spot. That feels less incriminating than whatever is about to ensue.

Cool fingers grasp onto my thigh, his palm flattening against my skin. His hand drags up to my side, followed by his other hand leaving my neck to grab the other side of my waist. The feeling of him touching me, just like he'd asked, fills me with memories I tried so desperately to forget just a couple weeks or so ago. This is deja vu in the best way.

In one swift motion, Sal lifts me up and plops me on top of his desk. I brace myself with my hands on either side of his keyboard that lays behind me. Questions of concern start flowing through my brain because this is an odd place to be.

"Don't knock over my shit," Sal breathlessly informs, eyes glancing up to me. HIs hands move to the waist band of my bottoms and I suck in another anxious, anticipatory breath.

I nod quickly, watching him with wide eyes as he looks down at my waist, his hands circling to the front of my stomach and fumbling with the button of my shorts. Oh my gosh.

I gulp, looking at anything but the man between my legs, currently pulling down the shorts I'd traveled in. His cold fingers brush along the outside of my thighs, causing goosebumps to rise all over my skin. He's slow, purposeful, dragging this out to get whatever reaction out of me that he can. It feels like my heart is about to explode.

I have no idea what he's about to do, he doesn't warn me either. I don't have the guts to watch this scene play out. The prospect of his dilated pupils, messy hair, and that glare in his captivating eyes is too much-- so much that warmth pools between my thighs before he can initiate anything.

"You look scared," he murmurs and I flinch at the gentle, comforting tone he uses with me. I've never heard something such as this come from him and be directed at mebefore.

"I am," I answer honestly, licking my lips while his fingers slowly pull my shorts down my legs. I lift myself a bit to aid him, shivering when my bare legs meet the cold surface of his desk. "A bit."

"Why?" Sal asks, hands pressing onto my thighs. With how warm my skin is and how cool his fingers are, the contrasting temperature is enough to spark an aneurysm. He drags those hands of his up my legs until he reaches my panties, hooking his digits into them.

I shake my head, chin quite literally tilted up to the ceiling. I'm not quite sure what has me so scared. Am I afraid of myself? Him? Getting caught? Being dropped again?

One risky hand leaves my hip and Sal's prosthetic comes into view. He's hovering over me, in a standing position now. His hair falls onto my shoulders, shielding us from the rest of the world like a curtain. I blink up at him, breath caught in my throat as a rush of chills invades my body.

"Hey," he says. His voice is a bit on edge, but it's concerned. So concerned that it distracts me from my own fear for a moment. "You're okay," he continues, his hand gripping onto my chin and pulling my head down so we can be eye level. I look between his bright eyes-- his eyebrows are risen a bit, as if to communicate to me that I can trust him. But can I?

"I'll take care of you. If you want to stop, if you don't want to start-- let me know. Say anything and I'll end it immediately." He tilts his head a bit, eyes glancing over my face. This is different. This looks vulnerable. "If I made you uncomfortable at all, I--"

My head shakes in opposition. I don't even have to think about it. "No, it's not that. It-- I trust you." The words spew out of my mouth and I immediately regret it. Something smug takes over his expression and I press my lips together, grabbing onto his wrist connected to the hand that's still holding my chin. "I trust you with this. If I was tied to train tracks, I wouldn't even think of calling you." I narrow my eyes at him to exemplify my point. His eyes squint as if he's... smiling? I'll ignore that. "But you've never... made me uncomfortable. You always ask. You always check. So..."

I watch him nod slowly, our gazes never disconnecting. He seems to contemplate what I've said, measurably formulating his next move. "Do you want to talk about what's stressing you then?"

My head rears back and my eyebrows furrow, his hand falling away from my face. "What brain eating amoeba has overtaken you?" I blurt out, holding a hand out between us. It's incredibly odd-- this is out of place. "You are never concerned about me-- what is this?"

If you can't tell, I'm not a fan of change. I greatly prefer stability even if it's toxic.

Sal drops the caring act almost immediately, his eyes rolling so hard that I'm worried they'll sink into his body. "I can't go down on you if you're freaked, can I? I wouldn't even feel comfortable doing that. I'm an asshole, not a monster."

I pause, every facial feature relaxing as his statement slaps me in the face. Key words: go, down, on, you, asshole, monster. Yep, only monstrous assholes go down on their enemies. I'm the very brave, very eager, very shocked recipient of this going down.

I take a deep, shaky breath, blinking at Sal who watches me with what looks like a raised eyebrow. "Okay," I breathlessly whisper. "How are you-- are you..." Why am I rambling? What kind of answer am I looking for? Obviously the prosthetic is about to come off and I just have to contain the desperate, whore-like rage within.

"Shut up, Vi," he chuckles over my nickname, grabbing onto my thighs and tugging me to the edge of the desk as he sits in his chair again. My fingertips press into the wooden surface while my heart threatens to pound its way through my ribcage. "Just let me taste you."

Cue internal screaming. I'm so going to faint-- and the addition of watching his pretty guitar-playing hands leave my skin to unbuckle his prosthetic is pushing me to astronomical heights. I don't even exist anymore. I'm just a wisp, a little phantom fairy watching her favorite sex movie play out in real time. It's called Faceless Fixation. She's the Fellatio Fairy. I don't even-- whoever is writing my life needs to give me a break.

I'm shivering like I have hypothermia by the time Sal carefully pulls the prosthetic off his face, making sure to not mess up his hair. And then he glances up at me. Bright eyes hesitant, sort of wide. Eyebrows risen just a bit and lips pressed together like he wants to say a thousand things but can't. He looks so nervous and it's a moment we can both share.

For reassurance (I think we both need it) I smile at him. Just a slight upward tilt of my lips as I press my thighs together. He's so beautiful. Every scar, every indentation, every feature, every little freckle. Just wow-- he's a sight to behold.

Sal's gaze flits to my lips, then down to my legs and he grabs onto them again, purposefully pulling them apart. His black polished nails dig into my skin as he gazes down at my underwear. I'm so used to watching his reactions and feelings portrayed only through his eyes, but watching the way his jaw tenses and the moment his lips part like he can't wait any longer makes me feel like I'll implode. 

His fingers run up my legs to my hips, dipping into my panties and pulling them downward. I gulp over the sight, relishing in the deja vu. How kind of him to not rip these this time. 

I lift myself up as he shimmies them down my legs, finally pulling them from around my ankles and holding them up for me to see. I blink, warmth rushing to my face at his boldness. And Sal, well-pleased, quirks a little seductive smile at them before switching his gaze to me.

"I haven't even touched you and you're soaked," is what he murmurs, eyes dancing over my half naked body with very little focus on my face. It's like he's glued to what hides behind my clenched thighs, eagerly awaiting what he'll find between them. "You're inflating my ego way too much," his voice is a bit louder this time-- darker, more sinister. The pronunciation of his words shows off charming, slightly crooked front teeth and sharp canines. I'll never know how I haven't ascended already.

I shiver, trying and failing to hide my reaction. But it doesn't really matter, seeing as Sal caught onto it anyway and his hooded eyes are on mine, a dangerous glint clashing with the hypnotizing azure shade of his irises. 

His hands are on my legs again, fingers roughly squeezing my skin. He isn't putting off his plans again though. When he separates my legs and I try my best not to push him away out of fear, Sal leans forward and presses his lips to the inside of my left thigh.

I take a deep, shuddering breath as I bathe in the feeling of his soft, jagged lips moving along my sensitive skin. I commit the image to memory, absolutely astonished over the way his blue eyes are closed while he inches closer and closer to my pussy.

I'm unable to take a full breath at this point, my body is tense while I try to hold myself in an upright position, pathetically falling apart as his mouth dances along the inside of my thigh like he's studied and perfected each step he takes. His hands are molded into my skin, they've become a part of me. He's pressing my thigh up to his face, leaving the most inebriating kisses. I wish he would stop teasing me already.

At the same time, I'm obsessed with the way he's handling me. Delicately, carefully, but he's in full control and making me wait. Testing me. Seeing if I'll push him, hoping I'll give him a good reason to punish me.

Sal's eyes open again, glancing up to meet mine. I suck in a breath, watching as he opens that dirty mouth of his and bites into the sensitive skin at the top of my thigh.

I hiss, wincing at the slight pain but my eyes never leave his. They could never. And he loves that, takes it as a challenge because those sky blue eyes close and he bites down harder, sucking my skin into his mouth to leave his mark. 

Some kind of satisfied, sickeningly delighted feeling swells in my chest at the knowledge of having a mark from him on my body. It's primal, it's a little weird, but I adore the idea and maybe he does too. After what he said to me about North on the flight to Nockfell, I'd guess he's more than happy to stake his claim even if it's invisible to the outside world. 

Sal finally pulls his teeth from my leg, revealing a gnarly, dark purple mark in his wake. He places a quick, soothing kiss to the abused skin before trailing his way closer to my pussy. He masks his destination with more wet kisses and bites and I'm so worked up by now that a light sheen of sweat has formed on my forehead. I can't be doing this-- this is complete torture.

"Sal," I groan out, flinching at the sinful tone of my voice. It makes him pause his movements as well. "Please," I tack on, the word quiet and agonizingly pleading.

He hums against my skin, eyes zeroed in on mine. I hate being so direct, it's terrifying, but it's worth it if it'll end up with his tongue buried in me, right? 

"Beg for it," he says lowly, a slight rasp to his voice. His tone makes me shiver, as well as his words and I would drop to my hands and knees if he told me to right now.

My lips part upon hearing him and I release a shaky breath, thighs drawing together until he stops them with his tight grip. My heart is running a marathon, my limbs are trembling and I'm wondering if maybe this is all just a really awesome dream.

"Please," I repeat, voice coming out as a whine. For once, I don't regret it because this is what he wants. "I'm desperate." I don't know how else to portray to him that I need this-- the wait is nearly excruciating. "I need to feel you."

Sal pulls away from my skin, tongue lapping at all of his bite marks before a sadistic smile pulls at his lips. "How much do you hate me?" And he's waiting, waiting for a wordy explanation of my distaste for him. But now, with the way things have changed between us-- even if it's slightly-- describing my loathing somehow feels harder.

So I snort, trying to coerce him into putting his mouth on me again regardless of the location. But all the shivers, waiting, and very slow building orgasm is slipping away into the distance. "A lot," I whisper shakily.

He gives me a look, eyes narrowed and lips pressed together as if I've disappointed him. "You can do better than that, Vi. Where's the fire?" He leans toward the thigh he hasn't captured with his mouth yet and skims his teeth along my skin. "Should I give you an example?"

I lick my lips, a sudden fluttering in my chest making me feel light headed. I hesitantly shake my head-- the longer he isn't paying attention to me, the farther I am from cumming. I can come up with something to say can't I? Of course I can. He's infuriating enough.

"Alright then," he mumbles monotonously, finally ditching my thighs. He yanks me a bit closer, eyes still rifling through my soul. "Then tell me. And if you stop," he warns as I swallow against the pounding in my chest due to his positioning, face mere inches from my sopping cunt. He's dragged this on long enough. "I stop. Keep that filthy mouth of yours moving."

He waits for me to launch into a monologue of detest. His mouth so close to my clit, breath tickling my skin and forcing a quiet little whimper from me. 

"I fucking hate the constant foul mood you're always in," I force out, feeling my heart leap into my throat the second the words leave my mouth. Because Sal keeps his promise and with an inebriating grunt of approval, he finally attaches his lips to my clit, tongue running over it like he's desperate to soak up every inch of what I have to offer.

The feeling of his mouth on my pussy is incomparable to any other type of satisfaction in the world-- this is what I've waited for. And he happily makes up for the lost time, expertly flicking his tongue over the bundle of nerves and sucking it farther into his mouth. He moans against my cunt, hands dragging up my thighs to cup my ass and force me even closer to him. He squeezes my skin, a reminder to keep talking.

I dig up all the things I can't stand about him, slathering them across my brain so I can tell him about it. "You're a brick wall. No matter what I say, you refuse to listen. How come you're never open to hearing anyone out?" I whimper between words, squirming around on his desk and trying my damn hardest not to ruin any of his belongings.

Sal lifts my legs over his arms, pushing them onto his shoulders and I swear I'm about to combust. The way his tongue maps figure eights and circles around my clit does nothing to help, only sends me further toward falling apart.

I squeeze my eyes shut, fingers curling over the edge of his desk, heavy breaths and quiet moans falling past my lips no matter how badly I wish I could keep them inside. "You have some kind of God complex. You think you're right about everything, have to be in control of everything and I can't stand it. I can't stand you and your constant need to have everything you want."

His teeth graze over my clit and my mouth falls open, waves of pleasure rolling through my body like I've never experienced before. He moves downward, his tongue buried between my folds and licking up every bit of my arousal that he can get. Upon getting a better taste of me, he moans and I can feel the vibration of it everywhere, all the way up to my fingertips.

"I hate how easily you turn me on, how wet I get just from a simple touch," I admit, teeth clamping down onto my bottom lip as his tongue explores the inside of my pussy like he's been starved of me for far too long. His nails dig into my skin, the action eliciting a stinging sensation that only adds to the pleasure he's giving me. This is everything. "And you're so unfair. So pretty, so damn attractive with that horrible personality of yours. Why can't you be pretty through and through?"

I open my eyes again to watch him, drowning in the prospect of his face buried between my thighs, cheeks flushed and hair a mess. I watch as he drags his mouth up to my clit again, drawing patterns and shapes I don't care to know over the bundle of nerves. The rough, slick feeling of his tongue on such a sensitive place is addicting. So long as he's around to bring me to new heights like this, I don't need anything else. Maslow's hierarchy of needs has never been so wrong-- this is my sole need.

I can't help myself-- I reach a hand out, my fingers burying themselves into Sal's hair. It's soft. Just as soft as I knew it would be. And he doesn't seem to mind, only continues to suck on my clit and abuse it with his tongue. I close my hand into a fist, lightly tugging on his hair. I need something to hold onto.

"And your stupid fucking mouth," I groan out, sucking in a breath that never fully fills my lungs. His tongue dips into my pussy again, making another little groan follow my first. My thighs are clenched tightly at this point, quaking furiously. Sal never tries to stop me, doesn't calm me. It's clear how much he enjoys bringing me to ruin. "All the awful things you say, so many dirty words and you are so good with your tongue. I've never craved and loathed something so much in my life." 

Sal smiles against my pussy-- I watch in pure amazement as the corners of his lips curl upward like what I said was everything he's always wanted to hear. It's so lewd, so perverted and I absolutely will never forget this moment.

One of his hands lets go of my ass, trailing down my thigh again but moving to the inside this time. As his teeth gently nip at my clit and his tongue laps at my pussy, the tips of his fingers press against my opening, a silent request for more of my profession of hatred. A profession I'm more than happy to give him.

"I can't imagine how much I'll hate the way you fuck me just because I know it'll be better than any sex I've had before," I tell him, watching his mouth move against my cunt with furrowed brows and my lips parted in intrigue. Oh, he's so good at what he does. 

Sal's eyes meet mine again. Eye contact with him when he's in such an erotic position is incredibly intense. I feel like my entire body is going to crumple before he can finish me off and it all counts on if he's able to hold me up or not. But as soon as his cerulean gaze meets mine, two of his fingers sink into me. The action is slow, drawn out, and drags a nasty moan out of me in turn.

Sal whimpers against my pussy, taking care of me like he promised he would. When his fingers reach as far as they can go, he curls them, causing me to flinch at the sensuous feeling. There's so much going on to the point that every inch of my body feels impossibly overwhelmed. 

My sensitive clit gets sucked into Sal's mouth again, but then he pulls away. His fingers make up for the absence of his tongue, pounding into me in the same salacious way he's done before.

"Is that all you've got?" he grumbles breathlessly, glazed eyes glaring into mine. This is the expression I'm used to with him-- anger and dominance. 

I choke on the breath I try to take, my thighs pressing into his neck as his fingers slam in and out of my soaked cunt, digits only pausing their relentless pace to curl into me. I try to fight against my one working brain cell, try to form words for him, but-- "I can't." is all that I'm able to create, the two short words coming out as an imploring cry.

Sal stands, finger-fucking me into an alternate dimension. He hovers over me, his hair brushing my shoulders and neck. I watch him, an absolute mess beneath him but I can't look away-- even through the panting breaths that morph into whimpers and moans. 

His eyes glance between mine, seemingly contemplating something in that meticulous mind of his.

"Yea, you can, gorgeous," he grinds out behind clenched teeth, using the hand that's gripping my ass to press me against his chest. Our even closer proximity somehow forces his fingers deeper into my pussy, his thumb rubbing my clit. "Tell me more." My mouth is dry, I'm going to cum soon, and hopefully I don't actually fall over before that.

Sal takes a page out of my book, leaning closer to me and nipping at the skin of my throat. A little gasp falls past my lips and I finally let go of his hair, dragging my hand down to his neck. Those fingers work me to the core, never ceasing their movements and pushing into me with so much perfectly applied force. 

His mouth moves along the side of my neck, his lips still wet from my juices. I have no idea what gave him the confidence, but I'm not mad. Everything that couldn't be done with his prosthetic can be done now and he's taking advantage of it. "Speak," he snaps, tone not so gentle or comforting like it was when this first began. "Or else."

My mind is blank. "I'm about to cum," I begrudgingly whisper, completely overtaken by his fingers thrusting into me and his thumb focused on my oversensitive clit.

I shut my eyes, my free arm wrapping around his shoulders. Every inch of my body is tense, senses heightened and alert. I don't think I can possibly hold on any longer-- I doubt Sal needed my confirmation to tell that I'm close.

His digits curl into me again, repeating the action. I follow up with a loud whimper, my nails digging into the skin of his neck as he sucks on the skin behind my ear. I wish he'd have ditched the prosthetic sooner because I've really been missing out.

The hand still gripping onto my butt retreats to my stomach, fingers disappearing under my shirt and crawling across my ribs to my bra. He treats it as if it isn't even there, hand easily dipping beneath the fabric. His palm envelops my breast, squeezing gently and massaging the skin. It's such a considerate touch compared to the way he treats the rest of my body-- he knows exactly where the sweet spots are. 

"Cum," he commands, lips brushing the shell of my ear and fingers pounding into my sore cunt, thumb running over my hardened nipple.

My head drops onto his shoulder and with one more curl of his fingers, I do as he says and fall apart in his arms. I burst almost instantly, doing anything to keep myself silent over the feeling of his fingers gently caressing the inside of my pussy, riding me through my orgasm just like he did the first time. My teeth sink into his shoulder, a muffled whimper following soon after. Sal tenses up in my arms, a pleasured breath falling from his mouth and fanning over the side of my neck.

"Good girl," he purrs into my ear, lips skimming over the warm skin at my throat. He leaves one more sloppy kiss to my neck then pulls away to look into my eyes again. I can hardly hear anything he says as my teeth are forced away from his shoulder, still reeling from the orgasm that slammed into me nearly unannounced. My limbs feel like jelly as chills run up my spine. "You listen to me so well," he continues. I can't even look into his eyes; I just watch the way his lips move. How his tongue presses into the back of his teeth to pronounce a syllable. His sharp canines that undoubtedly left their own bruises on my skin. 

I gulp, unable to peel my eyes away from the mouth that masterfully brought me to climax. For the first time ever, I wonder what his mouth would feel like against mine. How soft his scarred lips would feel, not on my skin, but captured by my own. What his tongue would taste like. What his teeth would feel like nipping at my lips. 

Sal doesn't move away from me-- keeps our close proximity with his nose nearly brushing my mask's. He slowly, delicately pulls his fingers out of me but only continues to gaze into my eyes.

This is dangerous territory. Very dangerous. Because the impossible is coursing through me right now and I... somehow can't find it in me to hate him in this exact moment.

But then he blinks. Stands to his full height, moving away from me. His azure gaze turns to the desk I'm sitting on and he grabs my panties, offering them to me. Not an ounce of emotion evident on his face. I'd always wondered what he'd look like simply because I was curious if his face gave away his emotions better than his eyes could. It's pretty impressive how he's able to keep a straight mug though, RBF and all. Especially when he lifts the hand he fingered me with to his mouth and licks my cum off. He doesn't even look at me as his tongue runs up the length of his digit, just turns away from me and walks to the other side of the room.

I'm floored, jaw dropped and pussy wet. Again. That's really fucking hot.

I watch him strut away, follow his movements as he drops to his haunches and opens up his suitcase with his clean hand. He grabs something then faces me again, beginning to walk back with a finger still in his mouth.

My chest tightens at the sight. He can't be doing this to me. Not when Larry is going to be home any minute-- he needs to keep both his hands at his sides.

Thankfully, Sal has some mercy on me and finally finishes cleaning his fingers, eyes darting up to mine again. He walks up to me, right where I'm still sitting on top of his desk and drops fabric onto my bare thighs.

My brows furrow and I look down, grabbing lace. I lift it up, unfolding it to see that it's a near replica of the lace underwear he'd ripped off of me in Vegas. Only it's a completely brand new pair. No rips, no issues. My heart swells a bit at the gesture-- he bought a new pair like I'd told him to. I wasn't even serious, but he did it anyway.

I puff out my cheeks, contemplating what to say. Thank you's are virtually nonexistent between us. My eyes flit up to meet his again and he stuffs his hands into his pockets, watching me.

"You taste good," he nonchalantly comments, causing an infuriating blush to heat my cheeks.

"Thanks," I murmur, holding up the lace panties to show that I'm thankful for them too. "You taste pretty good too." He does. I'll have to return the favor to him when I get the chance.

A barely audible snort comes from him and I almost smile. 

"I'd fuck you, but Larry will be back any minute and Ash probably isn't far behind him," he says, turning on his heel and walking toward the door. "I suggest you put your clothes back on. Panties are clean, I washed them."

My eyebrows raise and I pinch my lips together. Huh. "How kind of you," I say half sarcastically. Only half because it's helpful that they are clean-- it's almost like he knew he'd place me in a predicament where I needed fresh underwear. "You trying to kick me out?" I add. Of course he is, I'm just trying to make my way out of here as awkward-less as possible.

"Hell yea," he says proudly, "I have shit to do."

"Are you calling me a distraction?" I ask, looking toward him as I shimmy my underwear and shorts up my legs then start working on the button.

Sal tilts his head, hand on the doorknob. "And a mild aggravation."

"Oh, wow," I gasp, feigning surprise. "Mild? I must be working my way onto your good side."

"Fuck me good enough and we'll see how far you get," he replies, eyes watching my every move but face still unreadable as I begin walking toward him. 

I roll my eyes. Of course. I pinch my lips together and give him a disinterested look. This is my lesson to never try to have a casual conversation with him again. He clearly doesn't want it, which, fair. Our agreement is sex, not friendship. "Okay," I say dramatically when he opens the door for me. "Bye, Sal."

The man nods his head, acknowledging the shift in the room. His eyes stay glued to mine like they have been the entire time I've been here. Now that I'm not distracted by his mouth on my pussy, I realize that this is an odd thing for him to do. He looks at me every once in a while, but not in such a... scrutinizing way. 

He purses his lips and says, "Bye, y/n."

Every nerve-ending in my body suddenly shuts off. Everything is still. I have no thoughts for a moment, no physical reaction. Just stillness. I don't breathe, I don't move. I just watch him.

There's no way— he has to have mixed up my names. It has to be that.

And then everything hits me. Sal Fisher just said my name. And not the fake one that I've been hiding behind. He said my actual name— the one that's on my birth certificate. And now my hands are shaking, my heart is racing, my breaths are uneven, and I feel like I'm going to throw up.

"What the fuck," I say shakily. I'm not ready for this. I'm going to completely switch his thought process around-- "did you just say?"

The look in his eyes changes, they light up a bit as if he's caught me. And still he decides to mess with me. "Huh?" he innocently asks.

Okay, I'd really like to wake up now.

My eyes narrow. So that's the game he wants to play? This isn't the time and I don't have the mental capacity to handle this. Not only am I recovering from a mind-blowing orgasm, but I was just getting over the overwhelming anxiety I suffered from yesterday.

"I'm not y/n, if that's what you're thinking," I rush to tell him, even adding in the fakest little smirk I've ever slapped onto my face. Anything to get him off my tail, whatever I can think of to save my ass. This really can't be happening to me.

He's still watching me speculatively and it's making my brain itch. "You know," he finally starts, voice disgustingly pleased. "I went out on a limb with that one." I watch in horror as a little smirk begins to grow on his face. I don't want to accept it yet, I really don't, but I think I'm fucked and not physically. 

At the end of the day, he's still managed to fuck me in multiple ways. I cannot stand Sal Fisher.

"What are you even talking about?" I ask him, clearing my throat quietly while taking a safe step out of his door and into the living room. I try my best to keep my eyes on him while extinguishing the fear from my gaze. If I act horrified, he'll sniff me out instantly. That is, if he hasn't already.

Sal chuckles deeply— it's, shockingly, an amused and prideful one rather than something sick, dark, and twisted. He leans against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest. I try my best not to adore the way his scars stretch with his laugh and the sight of his pretty teeth. "Any other woman would have assumed I was sleeping with someone else if I called them by another name," he says lightheartedly, tilting his head down a bit. "But you didn't. And that can only mean that I'm right."

I open my mouth to decline, fear thrumming through me. He caught me red handed. I can't fucking believe this.

"And don't try to deny it, you won't change my mind. I've been very sure of who you are for months now."

My head slowly begins to shake of its own accord. He never fails to shock me. "How..."

Sal shrugs. "You couldn't have timed your introduction more horrendously. Think about it," he says, chewing on his bottom lip. "I bitch at y/n over a phone call, then the next day, a wild VioletViolence pops into my life and isn't too surprised by my shitty personality. The second you were added to the Discord server, I had my suspicions." He shrugs nonchalantly, like the confirmation doesn't bother him in the slightest. "I talked it over with Larry and Todd too. They're pretty sure of your identity as well. They were just nice enough to wait for you to tell us on your own." His eyes narrow, sly like a fox. "But I'm not nice and wanted to know for myself. Wanted to scare you a bit too."

I swallow over the bile rising in my throat. Scare me, he did. I have no idea what to do with myself. I must look like a deer in headlights nearing its death sentence. "It... it doesn't bother you?" I decide to ask in a small voice, unable to blink as I watch him closely.

That same smug little smile is still lighting up his marred face as he says, "Regardless, I still can't stand you and I'll still fuck you stupid."

-----------

A/N::::::: OMFFGGGGG I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS CHAPTER FOR AGESSSSSS PLEASE!!! more specifically the end of it! i've had this last scene written since like... 2022 o_O 

i want to give a HUGE thanks to my very good friend, Phoebe, who inspired me to write the catalyst of the smut scene with this AMAZING piece of art that they drew :3 i am soooo so grateful for having the opportunity to see the art in general, but getting to write it too??? OMG so incredibly grateful <33

side note: this is my first time writing a smut scene like this one-- well, actually any time i write a different kind of sex it's new for me LMFAO i am exploring EVERYTHINGGGG and i also have no idea if this is any good. so like last chapter, if y'all could give me some tips or things you like and didn't like, i would GREATLY appreciate it :3

i'm going catch up on my neglected homework. as always, have a wonderful morning/day/evening/night. my heart belongs to all of you <3

#sal fisher #sally face #larry johnson #ash campbell #todd morrison #travis phelps #enemies to lovers #sally face fandom #sally face fanfiction #fanfic #smut

[purecantarella]

Hard to Love

bc i loved the song sm and i wrote this last month before kinktober started but i still want it out there!! i hope you all enjoy this one!! edit before posting : this is subject to changes and edits bc i finished writing this at 2AM park rosé x reader disclaimer/s : smoking, cursing, and an angsty time. read with a level head.

You'd known Rose pretty much her entire time in South Korea. She had met you when she had snuck out one night, needing some relief from the stress from another argument with her managers.

You just so happened to be at the right place at the right time.

You yourself needed a little break from work. Your co-workers were petty idiots and elected to push off all their pending projects onto you and the rest of your team because your boss had compared your work ethic to theirs.

After hours upon hours of sitting at a desk in a lowly lit room, you needed a break from the dreary office walls. You're greeted by an early morning chill. It had to be at least 2AM.

You breathe a tired sigh before carefully pulling a pack of cigarettes out of your back pocket. You swiftly place the stick between your lips, lighting the end ablaze while you leaned up against the cold wall of the alley way.

Of course you didn't mind people seeing you smoking, but it wasn't exactly smiled upon. You breath out a gray puff as you close your eyes, fighting off sleep as you did so.

Before you can completely get lost in the warmth the cigarette brought, a voice caught you off guard, "Bum me one?"

You nearly jump out of your skin at the sudden appearance of a young, blonde woman standing next to you. Her eyebrows creased and lips pressed into a thin line. She was clearly not in the mood to deal with anyone or anything.

You pull the pack out again, offering her the box. Quickly and without a second thought she pulls a stick out and you light the end of her stick without question. You watch her breath in the smoke and quickly huff it out.

"Thats the good shit." She whispers, you assume she thinks you can't hear her.

You chuckle, pulling the cigarette out of your mouth, "Penny for your thoughts, ma'am?" The woman looks over at you, irrediculously. As if you asked the dumbest question in the world before she laughs dryly.

"Ever just love your job but hate the people because their fucking pricks. Not understanding the slightest bit of creativity or freedom." She raves. You smile while you watch her run a hand through her blonde hair.

You take another huff of smoke before boldly blowing it in her diection, catching her off guard. She stares at you with wide eyes before you drop the stick and promptly step on it, "I have an idea on how shitty unimaginative co-workers can be."

You pause to get a good look at the woman. You knew she was famous, her face was plastered everywhere but you didn't really care for all that limelight. You meet her eyes and smile at her, "Try not to get caught. Would hate for the headlines to have my face next to yours." You lower your voice to a hushed tone, "Would hate to ruin the image of perfection."

You look around before slipping the rest of the box into her open hand. She laughs softly before you wink her way and turn a heel to return to your office.

In all honesty, you thought that would be the end of it until you met each other the next night, and the night after that, and each one after that. She was there waiting in the same alley and it had become the highlight of your work days.

"Don't people go looking for you when you leave?" You ask as Rosé leans against the wall, not really smoking just choosing to keep you company instead of being at YG. She laughs softly, before looking at you sarcastically, "Of course they look for me. I'm hot shit."

You roll your eyes before turning to her with a smirk, "Yeah you are hot."

The singer looks at you from her position on the wall, an amused smile and raised brow as she leans forward, challenging you. She lifts her hand and curls her finger in. You confidently stride up to her for her to tug you by the tie around your neck, "Is that right?"

"Yeah." You reply faking carelessness. She's fucking obsessed with it.

Rosé tugs you closer as she bites down on her lower lip, "I would argue the same." You place a hand on the brick wall behind her as you tower over her. The smirk on your face grows as she tugs you lower to meet her lips. It was rough and needy and it all left you breathless.

That was the beginning of the most complicated relationship you'd ever known.

After that night, you two saw each other far more often. She gave you her address, her number, and semi-free access to YG Entertainment's facilities. Rosé gave you everything she could in spite of herself.

While waiting for her, you flip through a poetry book that was on her couch as Hank looks up at you pleading. You eye him before checking the corner, making sure Rosé wouldn't catch you letting him on the couch. You grin mischievously

"He's not allowed on the couch, N/n." The singer warns while putting her earing on. You look up and you can't help the smile that sparks onto your lips as you look her up and down. "Aren't you an attractive specimen, miss Park."

You prop Hank on your lap, "Hanky, doesn't mommy look simply stunning?"

Rosé rolls her eyes, commanding her pet to get off you. She plops herself down on your lap abruptly. You grunt before pushing her blonde hair to the side. "Careful with that mommy talk, might get you in trouble, Y/n."

You don't respond just looking up at her adoringly, lifting your hand to stroke her cheek gently. As you do, the singer blushes, feels butterflies shooting around her stomach. Trying to brush the feelings off, she laughs nervously. "Stare all you want now, people would pay to see me this close." She plays off.

You lean up, pecking her lips gently, "How about we skip the reservation." Rosé quirks a brow and laughs softly, silently questioning you. "I just want to spend time with you. I don't want anyone gawking and interrupting that." You pause again, leaving a quick kiss to her nose. "Just the two of us."

Her cheeks burn up as you stare at her, affection overflowing in your eyes. You watch as her fight back a smile, Hank jumps beside you both and sits down beside you. Both of you laugh and you stroke his fluffy head as you plop your head on Rosé's shoulder, "The three of us then."

Rosé shifts her gaze from the puppy to your. A mix of giddiness and anxiety fills her as she watches you but for a moment it fades as you look up at her. She strokes your cheek as she nods, "Yeah...I'd like a night in with you."

The singer falls into your arms, not caring about the delicate fabric of her dress, just wanting to be more comfortable in your arms. It's foreign to her, letting someone so close to her. She breathes a calm sigh as you tell her stories of your life.

Your conversation drawls out deep into the night. It wasn't long until you'd fallen asleep with her cuddled up to your chest. Rosé stares at you, etching your peaceful image into her head.

Carefully, she brushes your hair out of your face, biting her lip as she her heart pounds madly against her chest. "God I wish I could promise you the world, N/n...you're a dream wrapped up in the most adorable face." She confesses, the smile on her face fades. "But I just wonder how long you'll last..."

Tears prick her eyes pathetically and hides her face in your neck, a soft sob breaking from her lips. You stir awake, feeling her tears on your skin. Immediately, sleep fades from your body and you force her chin up slowly in spite of her resistance.

"What happened? Are you alright?" She laughs, voice cracking as she does, while shaking her head. "It's stupid. Just a nightmare..."

You take her cheeks in your hands, wiping her tears away. "You can come to me with anything...a nightmare, if you're hungry, if you need anything. I'm your girl." She smiles and nods against your palm, leaning into the warmth you offered her. You smile and pull her into your arms, squeezing her delicately.

"I'll protect you from those nightmares."

"You're such a dork."

The night ending with your laughter, the sweetest melody she'd ever heard. She would do anything to hear it every day.

It'd been months since you and Rosé first met and became an unofficial item. It had been the most blissed out both of you had been. You'd been less crabby to your co-workers and she had so much energy during promotions.

It seemed like smooth sailing until one night, just another argument about the dumbest, most menial thing. The bickering boiling over into a fight about how much time she spends with single men and women who would kill to get her attention.

"So you're saying that I'm easy to win over?" She yells out as throw your head back in frustration, groaning loudly before falling into irritated laughter. "Now you're trying to belittle my emotions! Why the fuck would you stand there and just laugh!"

"Do you know how fucking insane you sound right now, Roseanne. I'm not the one who stayed out all night last night, drinking and partying with rando people!" You bark back to which Rosé scoffs and crosses her arms. "Why can't you just trust me, Y/n?! Those are my friends! What are you going to stop me from seeing my friends?"

She pauses to step up to you glaring down at you, "Who sounds fucking crazy now?" The singer stomps off to the kitchen, grumbling to herself that she just wanted a quiet night in.

"Is it so much to ask that as your girlfriend you—" Rosé laughs madly as she slams a cabinet door.

"We are barely together! Get it in your head that you're—" You cut her off, practically seething with anger as you hiss out, "What? A passing fancy? Is that all I am to you, Chaeyoung?"

"Well maybe you are." You're taken aback, your eyes go wide as you stare at her expression. Waiting for the shift, the guilt, but she remains cold and her eyes continue to stare you down. You run your hands in front of your face as you hastily grab your things on the kitchen island.

"You are absolutely impossible to love Park Rose." Rosé freezes from her place in the kitchen as you rub your eyes gently, tiredness running through your body. You loosen your grip on your coat and purse. You turn back around to face her but before you can say anything her hand is up in your face, instantly silencing you.

She flashes you a tight smile as she pushes herself off the counter. Clearing her throat, subtly reaching up to push her tears back into her eyes.

"...Rosie..."

"No." She snaps, her smile unwavering but you see the twinge of hurt on her face, the sparkle of her tears. You take a step forward, an apologetic look on your face but she shakes her head, "You're right. I'm hard to love."

Rosé chuckles, running a hand through her hair. "I will..." She shoots you an awkward set of finger guns, "...See you, Y/n. You can..." A soft sniffle falls from her as she turns around, waving you off, "Uh...you can let yourself out."

You stand in the doorway, bag seeming heavier than when you packed it. You stare down the hallway, playing through every scenario you could. Doing anything to stay where you were for a little longer. Bringing you back to reality, Hank paws up your leg, whining softly.

You pat his head gently, smiling down at him with a sad smile, "Take care of her for me, bud. She and I are looking for different things right now..." You pause, chuckling to yourself, just how stupid you must look. "I love you Hanky and I love your mom too. Make sure she takes care of herself...alright?"

He barks softly, seeming to understand you. You offer him a proud nod before commanding him to go to Rosé's room. You pull the bag back onto your shoulder, looking around the room one more time before huffing and stepping out the door.

Rosé peaks from the hallway...regret and a bitter taste resonating with her. The words she spat at you were vile and she wished she'd never said them. But she was too late.

"You're impossible to love." Your words rang in her ears as she slid down the corner of the wall, her tears dampening her cheeks. Soft sobs that clung to her chest during your argument released and she could no longer control herself.

All night she wailed as you lay in your bed practically tearing your hair out from regret and frustration.

Weeks later, you still hadn't recovered from your argument with Rosé. Unsure where you both stood, if you were still a couple or not. But you didn't want to face it.

Though as much as you wanted to, it was impossible to avoid Rosé. Her face was plastered on every billboard, your co-workers talked insistently about the group's songs releasing soon, and you still saw her in the street from time to time. She met your eye before quickly pulling her gaze away.

It hit harder than you thought it would have.

"I have to say I didn't think Rosé would hit so hard!" You flinch at your female co-worker's words. You peak up your cubicle and see three of them talking amongst one another. The other two agreed as the third fiddled with their laptop, replaying a portion of a song from the group's album.

Your blood ran cold as her words rang in your ears, "Cause I'm hard to love."

Rather uncharacteristically, you hop to your feet and approach the gabbing women. You smile politely, to which they're shocked...they'd never seen you speak to them not about work. "Sorry to bother you...but what song was that?"

They stare at you gobsmacked before explaining it was Rosé's latest solo song on the group's album. As quickly as you came, you disappear, searching the song's title online, pulling your headphones onto your head quickly.

Your hands tremble as you read the title over and over again in your head. Swallowing thickly, you click the thumbnail of the song. The words making your heart tremble. Hearing her voice, even if it was a recording, was the sweetest catharsis you'd ever felt but at the same time her words...your words...stung you in ways you didn't think could hurt.

It was all new. You wanted to see her. You needed to.

"Are you alright, Y/n?" Your co-worker asked, her expression soft as she motions to the tears falling from your eyes. You quickly wipe them away as her hands are on your shoulders trying to console you.

You push yourself out of your chair quickly, "I..." You clear your throat, trying to keep your voice from cracking. "I need some air...I'm going to..." You point out the door before dashing for it in spite of your co-workers calling for you.

As you make it out of the office building, a sense of clarity hits you. All the moments you shared with Rosé smack you across the face, imagining how you felt when you were with her. You pant and run your hands through your hair desperately, the realization that you just let go of the greatest coincidence of your life.

Thunder clapped, pulling you out of your daze.

You stare up at the darkening sky, cursing to yourself. A day you chose not to wear a coat...of course. Without thinking twice, you're quick to dash through the busy streets, feeling droplets of rain pouring onto your skin, leaving you soaked but all you can think of was that day you left her in her apartment.

The broken look on her face, the tremble in her voice, the things you said, and the things you wanted to say. Each thought pounds through your body. Pushing you forward until your breath is ragged and your legs are sore.

A sense of relief floods you when you see the YGE building in the distance, you smile tiredly before sprinting. It wasn't long before you were dripping in the lobby of the entertainment building, garnering stares from staff.

The receptionist stares at you, deadpanning, "I feel like I haven't seen you in weeks."

You laugh before nodding, "It's been hell trying to stay away." The young woman nods before looking over the schedule. Clicking her tongue softly as you tap your fingers anxiously along the desk.

Her words fade in the background as you look up and see Rosé, typing away at her phone as her managers surrounded her. You see the familiar tight lipped expression as the older men around her speak to her.

She looked just angelic as the moment you first saw her in that alley.

You're frozen in place as everything returns. The good, the bad, the past few months and how it felt to have her with you. In whatever way, you wanted to be with her.

Your feet take you out of the building, following her to the van. "Park Roseanne!" Your voice echoes through the open parking lot. Her managers look around to glare at you, they never did like you, thinking you were a bad influence on Rosé and her eyes immediately find you.

"Y/n?" She puts her phone away, and stares at you. The singer tries to uphold a stoic and distant demeanor but she was glad to see you. Seeing you brought her so much joy. "What are you doing here?"

For a moment you don't know what to say. Your mouth is stuck and all you can do is open your mouth then close it. Her manager's scoff and tell her, "Chaeyoung, this is a waste of time. Let's go." He guides her back towards the car.

You snap into action, "No, you've had control over her for far too long, sir." He glares at you, the singer beside him stifling a giggle. Composing herself, she"Say what you need to say then."

Your eyes locked, a flare of sincerity flashes over your face. "You aren't hard to love. I shouldn't have ever told you that. I..." You pause to catch your breath, Rosé stares at your soaked figure. You blush under her intense gaze. "You're impossible not to love. You're gentle, and hilarious, and gorgeous, and so unlike any person I've met. It makes me nervous and excited and I was scared that I couldn't keep up with you and you'd see right through that."

Rosé's hands tremble as she watches you pour your heart out, unsure if what was dribbling down your face were strayed raindrops or tears.

"I know you can't give me everything, I don't want you to have to. I want you to go out and live your life, be the success you can. I want you to be your authentic self."

You laugh, pushing your damp hair out of your face, staring up at the thundering sky. "I don't care that you can't give me everything...I just want to be with you, strings or no." You pause and laugh tiredly, "I love you, Rosie."

"Okay, I've heard enough of this idiocy. Chaeyoung, we need to go. You'll be late to dinner." Her manager ushers. For a moment she's frozen in time. All she can think of is how much she missed you, just how every song in her head was your voice, and just how sad and genuine you looked standing in the rain.

Rosé steps into the van, your heart sinks as she does. Her managers breathe a sigh of relief, giving instructions to block you from YGE's systems. You gnaw on your lower lip, disappointment sinking in your stomach. You turn around a sense of dread knowing you'd have to go back to a life without Park Chaeyoung.

As you walk away, you hear the faint sounds of pitter-pattering footsteps.

"Chaeyoung!" Her manager's call out in a panicked tone. And before you can react, her coat is above your head, covering both of you. You flush under her gaze, seeing just how close she was. It had been far too long since you'd seen the singer this close. "You're going to get sick if you stay in the rain for too long." She jokes before smiling up at you, brightening the grey sky.

"It's not going to be easy. I'm going to be so busy, so hard to trust, and I might just hurt you..." She pauses nudging her nose against yours, a broken expression on her face. You lift your hand, offering her a small smile as she whispers, "I might just fuck it up...like I do everything..."

"I want to try. Let me be the one in a million for you, Rosie." You laugh pulling her closer, her hands tightening around the coat above both of you. "If you fuck up, we'll fuck up together." You peck her lips gently, allowing the touch to linger.

You smile as you pull away, watching as her cheeks redden. "It's you and me, Rosé."

She giggles and tilts her head in shyly. "God, I love you, Y/n."

"Let's get you dried off, come on." Her events for the evening being the last thing on her mind, she lowers one of her hands, taking yours. You look down at the interlocked digits and a flood of warmth flowing through your entire body.

The warmth heating up your chilly body and for Rosé, she didn't feel so alone...so genuinely loved so to speak.

and im soft and this took much longer but also i wanted to do the idea justice and i wanted my return to angsty floof to be memorable HAHAHAHAH i hope you all liked this one!! classes started up again and have me on my knees wishing i was dead HAHAHAHA but i will see you all vv soon!! i love yo all and take care of yourselves, my lovelies 💖 - r

#blackpink #blackpink x reader #blackpink imagines #blackpink scenarios #blackpink reactions #blackpink fluff #blackpink rosé #park rosé #park chaeyoung #chaeyoung x reader #chaeyoung imagines #chaeyoung scenarios #chaeyoung fluff #kpop idol x reader #kpop idol imagines #kpop idol scenarios #kpop idol fluff #kpop x reader #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop fluff #girl group x reader #girl group imagines #girl group scenarios #girl group fluff #purecantarella

[scientia-rex]

Reasons my life is better this year than last year:

-Umbrella reason: new job

-Work next to doc who consistently laughs at my jokes

-My boss doesn't get passive-aggressive and also doesn't mind profanity

-My boss, despite being straight, fully supports me providing gender care and likes to send me CME opportunities for conferences I can't go to because I can't take time off without a lot of notice but it's still a nice thought that he saw "LGBTQIA+ healthcare" and went "oh I know a doc who does that! she should go!"

-On my other side is an MA I get along with fabulously bc despite having different native languages we both appreciate the importance of snacks, naps, caffeine, and being a little bit snarky

-She always brings me a donut if somebody leaves a box in the break room and she knows I might not see them until they're gone

-My MA sits behind me and is possibly my long-lost twin? Except that she's a foot taller than me, GOD, I wish I was tall, but we're on the same wavelength at all times and we have very similar interests and senses of humor and I love it and I hope she works here until we both retire

-The other people who sit in our room with us vary between a delightful nerd who I only haven't befriended harder bc she has kids and is always making a point of going home to them on time, an older doc who works per diem for us now and taught me how to do greater occipital nerve blocks on a whim and is actually a decent person despite being an old white privileged man, and our dermatology provider who once told a patient I was, and I quote, "cool as fuck," which is funny because I think SHE'S cool as fuck

-Our nurses are the best. Just the literal best. They go all out, on a daily basis, to not only make sure I do the minimal amount of bullshit busy work, but also to make sure patients are getting high-quality care and that they have positive interactions with our clinic, and they never kick a request back to me with "we can't do that," they will always at least ask around to see if someone else knows. I love them. I love them so much I literally sometimes cry about it.

-Our chief referral coordinator is so much fucking fun AND so good at her job. I ask her for things and they just... happen??? She's relentlessly competent and also loves animals and also when I mentioned I need more plants gave me seeds from her double-ruffled hot pink poppies, which I WILL be planting next year.

-Seriously, I love everybody at my new work. It's been 10 months and I feel like a rescue animal, finally starting to creep out of my shell and have a personality, after working at my prior clinic for 4 years (2 in residency) of absolute chronically understaffed passive aggressive toxic workplace hell. Like, I love the providers at my former clinic, I love the support staff, I loved my patients and I loved what I got to do, but there simply weren't enough people and everyone was always being told to do more and more and more with no additional time or resources or compensation, and that was a big part of why I quit--I could see, very transparently, that the administrators didn't give a hot shit about how hard I was working and how I was busting my ass, any time they saw a chance to shaft me out of any benefit, no matter how small, that might save them money.

Life is better this year. I think it's going to be even better next year. I had no idea working in medicine could be this much better. Working in medicine is going to be draining, no matter what you do--but a good, solid, competent administration makes the difference between draining and soul-crushing.

#the attending dr. kristophine

[sardonic-sprite]

SPRITE OH MY GOODNESS

NOW THAT YOU’RE BACK

Thoughts on The Underworld Saga?

ALL I HEAR ARE SCREAMS

They're mine. I'm the one screaming. Loudly.

It's so good it's so fucking. Ahhhhhhhh.

I accidentally like half memorized it already lmao, as well as Circe Saga, which I already had to catch up on and I ADORE them both, I will have literal blow-by-blow rants coming for every song in this show BUT IN SUMMARY FOR UNDERWORLD SAGA

"The Underworld"

So cool to have them GO to the underworld bc I asked my dad (who read the odyssey a long time ago) about the prophet and in the poem odysseus just summons Tireas's spirit so.

It starts quiet then eventually you actually hear the wails of the souls and it's v chilling and a great detail to add

The entire chorus is so good, it's survivors guilt in like 3 sentences, Jay, how?

I keep thinking of the infant from that night, I keep thinking of the infant from that night

POLITES!

And then it goes dead silent and then this soft wail of "waaaiiittttinnnnng!" And odysseus's reaction, oh lord, the way this of everything seems to hit home. The soft, quiet "Why, Mom?"

KEY CHANGE! DRAMA! And then unlike ending down the two previous times, where it gets softer, they end shouting DOWN JN THE UNDERWORLD! And it's almost like the underworld owns their screams too now

"No Longer You"

Tireas's voice is perfect I just. It's got this breathy edge making it ghostly ad then it's so low and soft it's kind of like

Ugh the whole song seems like a cross between a lullaby and a waltz and both are minor key and creepy as FUCK and I love it and wish I had the vocabulary to express this concept better

What?

A man who gets to make it home alive, but it's no longer you. As the audience we know what this means. Odysseus survives and makes it back but he is so vastly changed that he is "no longer" the man who left for war. But in the pernicious way of prophecies, this is left unclarified and I don't even know if Tireas does this on purpose. Maybe he genuinely sees it all fuzzy (unlikely to me given other details he gives) maybe he thinks Odysseus is clever enough to understand (you'd think he'd change his literal tune when Odysseus keeps reacting the way he does) and maybe... maybe Tireas just doesn't fuckin give a shit. Here's your prophecy bitch let's see you battle it til you come back down here to never leave again

The rage in Odysseus's voice when he screams WHO!? This might be me wanting to make him like unrealistically good with his wife, but it almost seems like rage on behalf of Penelope? Like he's angry someone perhaps tricked or forced her into wedlock? Idk it feels like if he was reacting to the idea that she was cheating, he'd scream "what" again

And tireas literally repeats himself he's so fucking unhelpfjl and tbh of course odysseus is gonna go off the rails. I can't honestly blame him 😂

"Monster"

I'm the only one who's line is haven't crossed. Um. Boyo I'm pretty sure you did a long jump over your line with the infant thing. Other than that tho it's such an interesting line esp bc it's true like. So many people have given odysseus advice and told him limits they want to set, and he's pushed through all of it. That literally has made him the primary danger to his crew in a lot of ways

OK the whole section where hengoes through the examples of the cyclops, circe the witch, poseidon the god, and finally turns to himself and the horse, basically SPITTING out the words- I love it all, I love the rhythm, the rhymes, the reasoning he goes through... so good

OK it gets quite andnthennthat soft, low "Oh, ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves" and it starts to build, he's shouting out what he's lost and what he needs to keep, and his plan, and finally screams "THEN ILL BECOME THE MONSTER"

Ugh building om that last it's so fucking interesting bc this is both corruption and sacrifice, this change that odysseus is kindnof allowing within himself. He's built up all this time thar he wants to stop losing his men, so it can be read as him being a good leader, willing to put his personal need (integrity) aside to keep them safer.

But on the other hand, who is he talking to/about the entire end? Penelope and telemachus. He's got to see them. He wants/needs to, and he's frankly doing this for them, and like it all sounded reasonable until he says he'll fucking drop a baby off a a wall "in an instant" and you go WHOA.

He's no longer himself. All itntakes is one fucking song, odysseus declares he's not just crossing his own line, the last line, he's obliterating that line completely. There is no more line for this man, anywhere. He's going to do anything he fucking has to

But not for his men. For Penelope and telemachus

It's so much devotion and corruption and love and desperation and holy hell it is so good and it flows through so naturally that you hardly notice what's really going on unti you watch thr lyrics change

So yeah I think the underworld saga is near 🙃

#sprite said #the underworld saga #epic the musical #this fuckin musical has me by the throat #literally bc its like 80% men and im a soprano #idec

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

More:

My brother was with a girl who threw things at him and constantly hit him. And he would just stand there and take it because he didn't want to hit her back knowing what the result would be. My sisters didn't like that so they went after her. Huge fight among them, but my brother still didn't break up with her. She finally chose drugs over him and left. At least for my brother we all believed him. But I doubt other people would.

His current GF (might be an ex now, waiting to hear back), hit him and then threatened to tell the cops he hit her. She's an alcoholic and would fight everyone. She went after my niece and they called the cops, and the first thing the cops did when they got there was arrest my brother, who had just gotten home from work. My mom came out screaming at them that he didn't do anything. But that's how bad it is, they go after the first male they see for a domestic violence case when it was between two women,!

-

I was 15, sexually abused by my manager at my first job, one of the biggest fast food joints, Not once, but four times. Someone spotted the abuse and reported it to corporate and she got a promotion. I quit and my father ignored it. Police said the company handled it. Men who are abused are ignored... because it’s not “supposed to be possible”

-

I once had to do a presentation for a gender studies sort of course, and so having a friend who was abused by his girlfriend I chose to discuss the double standard in physical abuse. You'd think I was the devil incarnate - the women in the class glared and glared and glared for me raising the possibility that a woman hitting a man should be taken seriously.

-

My dad went through something like this. She threw plates and a bunch of other random objects at him, he was bleeding in several places and she called the police.

Despite that me and all of her kids told police that she was the aggressor they didn't care. He was arrested and a restraining order was on him before he even got out a few days later. We ended up homeless and lived in an old boxing ring for about 2 weeks before our local church helped out.

It was also his 3rd time dealing with police completely ignoring him when a woman was aggressive. It made me feel like women could just do anything they want as I grew up and I completely avoided them and relationships in general for a long time.

I'm 38 now and it still makes me uneasy

-

I lost my virginity bc a girl (who I had said NO to) mounted up and rode me while I was passed out drunk. I woke up from what I thought was a wet dream finishing inside her with no protection. It messed with me pretty hard because I'd been trying to save my virginity for a serious girlfriend or someone other than just some girl I barely knew. Not to mention the fact that I had no idea if I was about to be an unwilling father (thankfully that was not the case).

My friends just kind of said "well...at least you got laid, right?". I can't really blame them because it took a while (like, years) for me to even realize that what happened was clearly rape. Wrapping our college-age heads around the fact a guy could get raped was tough, I guess.

I also got sexually harassed by a pair of women at a job in college and telling people about it was met with attempts to high-five me.

-

Laughed at, mocked, put down. Even had video of her hitting/kicking/ abusing me and people just made fun of me and the situation even worse. It was not real to them.

-

The sexual abuse hotline counselor asked me if I was even into women when I told her what happened and then made excuses for her bc “she was drunk and acting on instinct”.

-

Tried to tell a few people. No one really believed me in my circle of friends. They were able to convince their friends that I was the abuser. The last straw was when they used a taser. That shit hurts and left burns. That truly was the last straw because it left enough evidence that I could use to document the abuse and get out. Without physical evidence it was word against word and as the male, no one believed me.

-

They didn’t believe me at first. And then they saw her do it to me. Her friends believed me before my own friends did. They said that they knew she was like that and that she was aggressive and physically abusive to them sometimes and her own mother.

I was with her for 18 months of hell. At first it was normal and cute and fun and then she started being really strange. First it was telling me I couldn’t have friends who are girls. Then it was I couldn’t have friends. Then it was the hitting and punching and kicking me. She said she was pregnant before she was pregnant and didn’t let me use protection with her and if I wasn’t into fucking her then she’d just fuck me anyways.

The kicker that really stuck with me all these years is when she was beating the fuck out of me and accidentally called her mom and she heard her yelling and screaming and thought I was hurting her so she called the police and her parents and police both showed up at my house asking if everything was okay and if I was hurting her. She said confidently “He didn’t hurt me I was hitting him” and the police and her parents both just kinda accepted that and told her to leave my house and go back to her parents for the night. No arrests. No talking to her about how wrong it was. Just a slap on the wrist after flat out telling police she was hitting me. Didn’t ask if I wanted to press charges. Didn’t ask if I was okay. Just were relieved it wasn’t me hitting her.

-

I had been attacked by now ex wife. I said something that made her mad and it wasn't the first time. She hit me in the back of the head with a rolling pin. I yelled and the neighbors called the cops. When they arrived I was still beading. I was then handcuffed and sat on the curb while they investigated the issue. My ex eventually confessed she hit me because she was mad at me. I never raised a hand at her during the incident but I was then taken to the police station and I was booked. I was released the next day after they determined i wasn't the aggressor. I was told on my release that if I antagonize her again its my fault and I deserve what I get.

-

Continued:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jidoph/men_who_are_abused_by_woman_and_tried_to_tell/

=

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duluth_model

The feminist theory underlying the Duluth Model is that men use violence within relationships to exercise power and control.

According to the Duluth Model, "women and children are vulnerable to violence because of their unequal social, economic, and political status in society."

Criticism of the Duluth Model has centered on the program's sexist insistence that men are perpetrators who are violent because they have been socialized in a patriarchy that condones male violence, and that women are victims who are violent only in self-defense.

https://home.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/htdocs/assaults_bib343_201307.doc

Abstract: This bibliography examines 343 scholarly investigations; 270 empirical studies and 73 reviews and/or analyses, which demonstrate that women are as physically aggressive, or more aggressive, than men in their relationships with their spouses or male partners.  The aggregate sample size in the reviewed studies exceeds 440,850.

#SystemicSexism

#The Tin Men #intimate partner violence #abusive women #violent women #male victims #domestic violence #feminist theory #duluth model #systemic sexism #misandry #tHe PaTrIaRcHy #religion is a mental illness

[bluestarjay]

Ahhh to piggyback off my last post a bit, I want to talk about Hinata family dynamics and angst hcs I have!! I've seen a lot of stuff about his dad, like he's dead, or they're divorced, but I've never seen anything where he's in jail or smth (just an idea), and supposedly there's a light novel in which Hinats mentions his dad works really late, but idk if that's true, I couldn't find anything online about it. My personal hc is that his mom works from home, so she can take care of Natsu, but from really early to really late. Shoyo is the one who cooks dinner for all of them, and overall, his parents are pretty absent. Not that his mom is evil imo or anything cause we've never really even met her, but I think in a way it'd make sense why we never see her, because all she has time for is work. I think realistically itd be something kind of like Young Sheldon in which Shoyo is Missy, fighting for attention and love, and Natsu is sheldon, the baby of the family who always needs something. His mom probably begged him not to Karasuno because it's so far, and since she works sm she never goes to his games, but assumes he lost bc they're the "Wingless Crows". It's not that she doesn't try to be in their lives,, it's just that she isn't trying hard enough. When Shoyo brings her her dinner, she'll probably ask him how his day was, but since he's such a people pleaser, he'll just say "fine" and leave it at that. He doesn't want to be a burden on his hard-working mother, and even though he's /clearly/ holding something back, she doesn't push for anything more. And the reason he acts so childish at school? He's treated like an adult at home. I think the hc that he can't cook is a little silly bc, realistically, he probably can. Even though it's not technically canon, it's sooo popular that hinata is fatherless and his mom works a lot, so of course, he'd have to be able to cook. His mom might even use him as a scapegoat a lot because he's in high school now, and he has responsibilities to fulfill, even if there was nothing he could've done. Orrrr, maybe it's more of a Cinderella situation then? Regardless, ik for a FACT that he is listening to Mitski when he's having mental breakdowns bc he is, in fact, a tall child who was so young when he behaved 25 😔😔 I think his dad probably was in his life back and forth, but his parents actually divorced after Natsu. Idrk what to make of him other than that bc he's either a piece of shit or a wonderful man who's dead tbh- ohhh, yeah, his mom takes him and Natsu out for ice cream when she has the time (which is rare), and while Natsu recounts all her fun little memories of 1st or 2nd grade, Shoyo kind of stares off and when his mom asks him about school, he just says the bare minimum, bc bro does NOT like talking about himself,, which I think he canonically does tell people a lot about himself when he's ranting, but I feel like irl he'd kind of try to derail the conversation and take it off from himself,, saying like, "Well enough about me, what about you?" Because he feels like they'd just be disinterested in him because if his mom didn't care, would they? And he's pretending that he doesn't mind not being able to hang out with friends or have a social life sometimes because he has to babysit Natsu since they can't afford a babysitter. Because he can't /stand/ being a burden on someone; so he's reallyyyy bad at saying no.

#haikyuu #haikyuu!! #hinata shouyou #hinata shoyo #hq hinata #hinata shoyo angst #angst #family angst #family dynamics #natsu hinata #natsu haikyuu

[lastoneout]

Neurology appointment was once again a mixed bag. Long story short I actually have occipital neuralgia, not regular migraines, but she didn't actually give me any treatment options and just told me to lose more weight. Full rant under the cut.

But yeah she looked at my CT scan and said she doesn't see any signs that my intracranial hypertension is being caused by my cervical spine alignment compressing anything, which is kinda a bummer bcs thats what I hoped was going on, but alas I guess I will have to continue to pray something gives and we can figure out what's causing it bcs despite being on a very high dose of the medication used to treat the condition for like 4 years and losing 20lbs nothing has gotten better or worse.

Aside from that it does seem like I probably don't actually have generic migraines, I have occipital neuralgia. Which would explain why all of the different migraine medications I'm on have done fuck all to actually help and why my migraine-like symptoms don't 100% line up with typical migraines(no auras, very little sound sensitivity/moderate light sensitivity, they last for days if not weeks, are extremely resistaint to treatment, even when they do respond half the time they just come back within a few days or so, I don't have any noticeable triggers aside from lack of sleep, ect.).

The only problem with that is I can't get another nerve block bcs of the steroid issue, and when I asked her what my other treatment options were she just said "well do it without the steroids then" and didn't let me get a word in edgewise about how my pain doctor said he wouldn't do it without steroids and I know just the lidocaine will wear off within 3-4 hours anyway so how would that help outside of diagnostics(which I no longer need) BUT she did refer me back to my previous pain clinic so I am simply going to ask them to help with this bcs they have a great track record of actually finding alternative treatments for my pain when the usual stuff isn't an option. But still, it's so fucking annoying bcs I did a LOT of research about this once the nerve block worked and there are TONS of other fucking treatments. Just...such bullshit.

Sadly she also told me to lose more weight, bcs she's super convinced me being under 130lbs will magically fix my hypertension despite the fact that I've done my research and about 10-15% of your body mass is the recommended ammount to lose that apparently sends it into remission in almost every case, but I've lost about that much and it didn't do anything at all. So like, idk ma'am I don't think knocking another 3lbs off is going to do jack shit, but whatever I guess.

I'm seeing my primary in a few weeks and at this point I'm demanding a new neurologist. But in the meantime I at least never have to see that fucking pain specialist again and instead can go back to my old one that didn't suck and I'll count that as a win.

#cw weight loss #cw fatphobia #ask to tag

[thegeminisage]

star trek update time. last night we did the maquis parts 1 & 2 because i simply did not want to deal w tng.

the maquis (ds9)

standout moment for me in this entire two-parter was sisko's speech. ESPECIALLY good that in a fit of frustration he delivers it to kira and kira alone, whomst he maybe did shout a little bit at earlier because tensions were so high, and then he has the grace to look embarrassed and say he's glad someone understands. like it was the EXACT same thing she was yelling about earlier and he didn't take her as seriously as he might have, like, not in a delegitimizing way, but in a way that says he hasn't experienced that kind of helpless frustration for himself. and then he got to experience just the tiniest slice of what kira has and he Got It. you know?

ALSO SOOO TRUE THE PROBLEM IS EARTH!!!! it's easy to be a saint when you live in utopia. quark had a similar speech earlier in this series about how humans are friendly and wonderful when they have full bellies and working holosuites and they turn vicious without them. ds9 knows whats up

it's tempting to blame all this on picard but while picard did NOT act with honor the true villain is the nameless faceless politician that decided this would be a good boundary to draw and absolutely no one would have any problems with it. it's weird to me, in the age of constantly calling our government officials to make sure they don't cancel healthcare or tell them to stop bombing people, that no one would try to get to the bottom of this and figure out which person they're supposed to call to tell them it was a dumb idea and demand they change it. like, the border is drawn like this, it's an immutable fact of life and it's not gonna change. it feels so weird

anyway, kira was GREAT in this episode. she has so much to be angry about and so much she wants to give to make sure nobody has to suffer what she did. like she's so passionate about it and it comes from a place of love or at least compassion and it's such a nice detail. that she's so angry all the time because of love. man. she's so great

i recognized one of the maquis guys from tng i think! well, i'm bad with faces but it was at least one of the same costumes. i'm so sorry dude rip

one of the maquis guys has a passing resemblance to barclay. really jumpscared me

should have known hudson was a villain bc he asked inappropriate questions about dax. however, it was funny that sisko laughed off the idea of them sleeping together when they fucked twins or whatever

i liked the jennifer mention :( im sad sisko and cal couldn't make up...he tried until the very end

what i love about the ethical debate is that theyre both right. the maquis are right because the new border IS shit. it IS unfair and they DID get abandoned to the tender mercies of the cardassians, who are sure as shit not gonna let them stay there unbothered (that tng episode painting this as a happy ending...AS IF). like, they have every right to defend themselves since no one else is gonna do it

but sisko is ALSO RIGHT because escalating the conflict into full-blown warfare is gonna get even MORE people killed and make things even MORE miserable for the colonies affected, who have already been through more than enough. the colonists can make life harder for the cardassians, just like the bajorans did, but they can't actually win a war, they can only drive themselves into the ground doing it. at BEST they will make some nameless faceless border-drawer think twice the next time they draw a border

like, that's why i'm so shocked nobody suggested calling the politicians to making them redraw it. it's the only third option?!?!

quark and the vulcan was so funny. shoot your shot, buddy, even though you lost the love of your life two episodes ago. i was a little insulted he managed to out-logic her, but also reluctantly impressed. quark is always entertaining, i just wish he had a LITTLE more depth.

gul dukat...i admit i never gave him a second thought before this episode. now i am reaffirmed in my belief that all cardassians are gay. he exhibits such an energy. i really liked the part where he put the fear of god into the weapons runner even though sisko was ready to sit on him to keep him from touching the torpedo controls. such a fun dynamic for him to be going "murder? :D?" and for sisko to be playing straight man and yanking him down by the scruff of his neck every 5 minutes. fun fun fun. i do think he should have kept his mouth shut when he and kira were in the same room though. like i think he should have just chosen to not speak unless prompted.

i like how twice odo's ability to maintain security at the station was called into question and both times sisko was like oh absolutely not. and even still, the tension was nearly enough to cause in-fighting in what has become a pretty friendly group. it's both surprising and unsurprising how quickly they drew the battle lines, but even the non-federation people, kira and odo, snapped at each other. LITERALLY CALL THE POLITICIANS. EARTH IS THE PROBLEM

my one real nitpick is that i don't think it should be possible to resist a mind meld with "discipline." like, it's more interesting if cardassians have a special immunity, or if this particular vulcan is bad at it. i just don't buy that gul dukat happens to be that cool, it's too convenient. why bring up the mind meld at all in that case

otherwise 10/10 i had a fantastic time

TONIGHT: devil's deal means we have double tng, "firstborn" and "bloodlines." something about alexander and daimon bok from season 1??? looks rank. wish us luck.

#personal #star trek blogging #ds9 lb

[arcaneglitch]

alr im back for round 2. ur guardians. all of 'em. what's their theme song.

I hope you know what you asked for when you said all of my Guardians

Harley - Take You Down by Illenium

^ it's this shit. this man has negative self-preservation and consistently puts his friends' lives before his own. my sonnn I love him I want to shake him like a dog with a toy

Jade - Good Old Days by Macklemore (ft Kesha)

She can actually remember her life from before (which is a wild concept and I wish younger me had explored that a bit more when I started writing). She heads up the base training of new Warlocks in the Tower

Fyr - Living Legend by Club Danger

He's the most upbeat and easygoing of my Destiny OCs and the song choice is partially influenced by the similarity between "fire" and "Fyr" (he named his Ghost Spark as a pun so)

Kaedro-22 - Walk by Saint Chaos (ft. Sam Tinnesz)

Kaedro is one of my older Guardians. He ran with Cayde's crew back in the early days and is something of an older brother figure to the younger Guardians in the clan

Bazzle - Meet Me on the Battlefield by SVRCINA

Bazzle is another of the older Guardians. He helped build the walls and after the Red War, he was promoted to become one of Zavala's Deputy Commanders and lead Guardian training in the Tower

Rae - Natural by Imagine Dragons

Rae never actually died to become a Guardian (that's right Bungie, I'm taking Shin Malphur's pre-retcon lore and running). She was one of the Awoken aboard the Yang Liwei, technically making her the oldest of my Guardians. She's got that hater mindset (affectionate)

Rogue - Can't Stop Me Now by Oh The Larceny

This man throws hands first and asks questions later. Token Crucible main /j. He's another older Guardian from the Dark Age. Don't fuck with his clanmates bc he'll Get you

Liv - My Silver Lining by First Aid Kit

She's a bit on the younger side of the older Guardians as she wasn't revived until the City Age. Her philosophy is to have a good time even in the middle of saving the solar system

Kai - Rebirth by Miracle of Sound

Kai is a Sunbreaker from the time when Titans using Solar wasn't mainstream. She lost her original fireteam in the Great Disaster and has since become fiercely protective of her new fireteam and clan, even though she doesn't really show it in traditional ways

Tristan - I'll Go by Direct & Park Avenue

He's probably the quietest of my OCs personality-wise. His Ghost chooses to communicate through their bond via feelings rather than explicit communication

Jesse - Nothing to Remember by Neko Case

Jesse's my newest Guardian OC. They were rezzed after getting murdered in the Last City. After finding out how the whole Guardian thing works, they decide to say fuck you to the class system and go multiclass

Kyler - Fantasy by Aviators

Kyler isn't a Guardian but a former citizen of the Last City that has since relocated to the Tangled Shore. He was dating Harley at one point but was also mixed up with a bad crowd (organized crime involvement) which eventually brought their relationship to a rather catastrophic end

#answered asks #houseofmcallister #my ocs #destiny 2 #chasing fate #music

[minzart]

hey I have a question about your Au where Lute is Adam's guardian angel

Sorry if I ask too much about your Au :"0

does cain and abel exist in this Au? If so, what would be the fighting relationship with Adam's children? Would she be good to them or would she not support them or treat them like children?

Don't worry about asks! I love them, makes me revisit somethings and work more on projects XD

Funny enough I made Cain and Abel designs especificaly because of this au so yeah :D they exist

I didn't understand clearly what your first ask is, so I'll answer with the two interpretations I made for now, if no-one of them are correct please feel free to send again

Abel and Cain's fight: the way I'm interpreting Abel and Cain in the au and in the hazbin universe is with Cain, being older, is the biological son of Eve and Lucifer, however he's extremely attached to the dad he knows and who raised him, so he is Adam's baby boy basically, has a hero like worship with his dad, being the first son, and for a while only child, adding that he is half angel, made his mom very... blind, to the way the boy was turning out to be, a spoiled brat, even after Cain came she still didn't belived something with Luciffer blood could do that much harm(also first time parenting and having no fucking idea how babies work, for them babies could very well be just clones of the parents).

Cain was raised more stricticaly than Abel because he is fully human and part Adam(keep in mind the "clone of the parents" mentality I'm running with this concept for how Adam&Eve viewed children until experience teached them the truth), turning at the end of the day a mommy's boy, with mommy inssues, the focus on him was extremely on the line of "learning empathy".

Despite it all the brothers did loved each other as siblings do, they fight, they pranked, they protected and they shared. But, Cain is a jealous little shit who is desperated for his father's aproval especialy if(still undecided) Eve told him who his blood dad is, or if the angelic conection kinda started creating a certain disconect. At the end, God's trial was the last straw for Cain, having seeing his mom and dad proudness of Abel's old ass sheep instead of his seeds made the boy just beat his brother to the death with his own hands, not that he knew he could do that(i kinda belive bc of Adam's ego they didn't belived humans could die of anything that isn't a spear)

At the end it was the first homicide, and letal accident, that's also why Abel is besides a crying Cain here.

Lute's relation with Adam's children: to understand her relationship with the brothers first I'd like to brief how I'm doing Adam and Lute's, they are friends first and lovers later(much MUCH later), moving on. There's also the fanfic side of the au, the apple of knowledge consequences in here, besides now Adam&Eve can see the nude human body, they also lost the capacity to actualy see and interact with angelic beings outside of profetic dreams or the voice of God.

So, by the time Cain and Abel are born Lute's role is much much more subdue as a guardian angel, she can only give dreams, and watch, by the time they are teens she's no longer going to earth constantly(besides the shut down of the guardian angel program bc of her failure+Lucifer). However she saw them grow, and in a way was the first angelic interaction with Cain and second handedly teached the boy a bit more about himself, and yes, she had her suspicions about the dad's identity.

When Abel dies and goes to heaven she was assigned to be the boy's guide and figure out whatever the hell he can and can't do, the differences of a human souls and an angelic one etc. It's a nostalgic blast bc she sees Adam's old curiosity in Abel, she absolutely has a soft spot for him. She's kinda aloof but likes them all the same, like that wine rich aunt who gives weird , kinda wise but reckless, advice and you start wondering what the fuck was her life like, but most importantly, she treats him(and every sibling later) as his own person, not a clone, not a baby, only a grow inexperienced adult&angel as he is at the time, so Abel does see her as a mentor(half ass one but one nonteless) and only in heaven he could actualy grown to be his own soul, even start the "guardian angels 2.0" the cherubims :)

#hazbin hotel #hazbin guardian angel au #hazbin adam #hazbin lute #hazbin oc #hazbin cain&abel #hazbin au #hh #yes this is the first time i'm talking about the apple thingy. it seemed better now than never XD