#i am thinkin so much about this holy shit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dakotalun · 7 months

Note

hi!! I just read both parts to your series ‘You Belong With Me’ and holy shit it’s so good!! I wanted to ask if I could request something maybe?? :)

i was thinkin something where Eddie and a super shy girl are dating. They’re only like three weeks into dating but they love each other so much. Reader’s parents fight a lot (maybe Eddie knows), and she randomly shows up on his trailer doorstep crying one day cause of it…sm fluff plz😭🙏

omg I love this prompt! I wrote this in one day because I simply couldn't stop thinking about it!!

Words: 2.2k

Eddie is the best thing to happen this year. I never thought that I would be dating the town “freak” but here I am. The only thing is that he’s not a freak, well in the ways everyone describes him as he’s not. He’s got a very sweet and loving side to him that if you just gave it time he would show.

It became apparent how much of a caring side he has when I told him about my parents.

“They hate each other! I never understood why the hell they got married in the first place. I mean if two people hate each other so much why be together?” I was ranting and pacing about the most recent argument my parents had.

“Sweets, you gotta calm down, please. Come sit,” Eddie motions for me to sit down on the bed next to him but I keep pacing, there are too many emotions for me to be still right now.

“I can’t calm down, I mean they do this all the time! They act all fine and loving around me but then once they think I’ve gone to bed they rip each other’s throats out. I can’t fucking deal with it anymore!” I can feel the tears welling up at the corner of my eyes, but I refuse to cry over them, over this.

Eddie gets up and stands in my path, “Move,” I look at him waiting but he doesn’t budge, “Eddie move. Please.”

“Nope. Not until you take a deep breath and calm down. This is too much for you right now, you just need to sit with it, trust me. If anyone knows fucked up families it’s me.”

“Don’t say that,” My heart breaks hearing him say stuff like that, “You didn’t choose for your parents to leave you.”

“And you didn’t choose for yours to hate each other,” He places his hands on my shoulders, “If anything else happens just know that I’m here for you. If they start fighting and you need a place to crash come here, Wayne won’t mind and if he does then I’ll kick him out.”

I laugh at his joke, knowing that he would really do it if it had to be done.

“Okay,” I wrap my arms around his waist, pulling him tight, “Thanks Eds. I love you.”

“Love you too honey.”

That was last week. Only last week when Eddie said I could come over any time they were fighting and I didn’t wanna hear it. So when I heard the screams come from down the hall I started getting dressed, but then I stopped. It was only last week. Was it too soon to come over and sleep at his place?

We’ve slept in the same place before but it was merely by accident, either we were watching tv in my living room and we fell asleep or we were cuddling after school and fell asleep. Never was it purposeful, until now.

Another scream comes from my parents room, followed by a crash. I have to leave. I can’t deal with this, so I continue getting dressed and pack a small bag before sneaking out of my room. The worst part is that I can’t even jump out of my window like most teens, I have to actually use the front door if I wanna leave.

Quietly I open the door to my bedroom and slink out of it as quickly as I can without making noise. Their shouts are louder out here, no cushion protecting my ears now. This also means I can clearly hear what they are yelling about.

“DAVE I HAVE TOLD YOU A THOUSAND TIMES BEFORE-” My mom’s voice coes riquseing down the hall.

“AND I’M TELLING YOU THAT I. DON’T. CARE! WE DO NOT HAVE THE MONEY FOR IT AND THERE IS NO WAY TO GET IT!” My dad’s voice follows close behind.

“WHY NOT? IS IT BECAUSE YOU KEEP SPENDING IT ON HOOKERS AND DRUGS? ARE YOU TRYING TO BREAK UP THIS FAMILY?!”

“FAMILY? FAMILY? YOU THINK THIS IS A FMAILY? THIS IS TWO HUMANS WHO HAD A KID TOGETHER FAR TOO EARLY AND NOW HAVE TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO TAKE CARE OF IT!”

It. He referred to me as an it, not a she, or a they, or hell even a he. A fucking it! I’ve been their kid for 17 years now and they can’t even pretend to love me. I guess I was never their kid, I was just a burden for them. Well now they don’t have to worry about me.

I rush towards the steps and out the front door, not caring to be quiet anymore. I can feel the raindrops on my skin as they mix with the ever flowing tears. But I don’t care, I need to get as far away from that hell hole as I can, I need to be somewhere safe. I need Eddie.

---

I’m walking for what feels like hours, the rain now completely soaked through my clothes. My feet and hands are frozen but I can’t turn back now, I’m closer to Eddie’s than I am home anyways.

Walking through this part of town at this time of night was always peaceful, it would help me clear my head of all the things it was holding on to. The pain, anxiety and depression would slowly fade away as I walk, left, right, left, right, left, right. Until there was nothing to think of anymore, nothing to worry about.

Now, as I walk the familiar route to the trailer park, my brain can’t seem to shut up or shut off. The screams and yells from my parents flood every corner of my brain, never letting go. No matter how hard I try to get rid of them, they stick like super glue.

I look up from the sidewalk noticing the world around me getting slightly brighter than it was before. Eddie. My heart flutters at the thought of him, the way I know he will hold me and kiss my forehead. I turn into the trailer park, now only a minute away from the one I love.

I approach the doorstep and before I can knock I take a deep breath hoping it will make it less noticeable that I was crying the whole way here. But it doesn’t.

So I knock anyway. Knock, knock, knock. The sound rings through the small home like a pen dropping in an empty room. There’s shuffling on the other end and then the click of the lock. The door swings open to reveal Wayne, Eddie’s uncle. He’s standing there in his work clothes, one shoe on the other sitting by his recliner.

“Oh honey,” He steps aside and ushers me in, helping me take my coat off, “Did you walk all the way here?”

I nod, not trusting my voice just yet. Eddie calls from the other room, “Who is it? I just ordered pizza so it really shouldn’t be here ye-” He talks as he walks out of his room, cups and plates sitting in his hand.

“Shit.” He rushes over to me and cups my face in his hands, “What happened? What’s going on?” His eyes are frantic and he looks back and forth from me to Wayne, hoping someone will answer.

“My-” My voice cracks as I try to speak so I take a moment to think of what to say, “Parents.” I finally settle on.

Eddie just nods and pulls me in for a hug, not caring that I’m soaked from head to toe. Wayne finishes putting on his other shoe then walks over to Eddie.

“She can stay as long as she needs, okay? Don’t worry about it. I’ll bring some stuff home after my shift.” Then he pats him on the shoulder and heads out into the pouring rain that you just escaped from.

Eddie keeps holding me while I cry into his chest, wishing that this nightmare of a life was over. As I calm down I can hear him spftly whispering things to me.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you. You’re safe here. I love you so much baby.” The words fill my heart with warmth and happiness that I can’t help but to stop thinking about my parents.

I sadly pull away from Eddie, missing his warmth and look up at him, “Thank you.” My voice is still weak but it’s less strained than before.

“It’s nothing. I told you I’m always here for you, I don’t care when you come over as long as I know you’re safe.” He plants a kiss on my temple, “Can I start a warm bath for you? I don’t want you to catch a cold from these wet clothes.”

This. This is the Eddie everyone needs to see, if they did they would understand him the way I do. This sweet and caring boy who only wants the best for those he loves and cares for. I couldn’t have wished for anyone more perfect than him.

I nod my head and follow him as he leads us to the small bathroom next to his bedroom. He turns the faucet on and tests the temperature before turning back to me.

“I’ll set out some clothes on my bed and here,” He grabs a towel from the hall closet, “Is a towel for when you’re done. I’m just gonna be in the living room, so call if you need anything okay?”

“Thank you.”

“You already said that sweet girl,” A smile spread across his face, showing off his signature dimples.

“I know, but I want you to know that I really mean it,” I give him a quick kiss before he’s heading out into the living room again.

I quickly strip down, tearing the wet clothes from my body with some struggle, before finally getting into the warm water that Eddie prepared. The heat immediately starts to soothe my aching muscles and joints, the feeling bringing a wash of relaxation over me.

I wash myself off and clean my hair with Eddie’s coconut shampoo and conditioner. I always love the smell when he’s fresh out the shower and the scent is the strongest. After I’m thoroughly cleaned I get out and dry myself most of the way, only missing a few spots on my back.

I exit the bathroom and am blasted with a wave of cold air, sending shivers up my spine. I head into Eddie’s room to change and dry my hair. I walk in and notice that he left out his favorite Hellfire short and some grey sweats for me to wear, even if they both are over sized I love the gesture. I throw them on and admire the fit in his mirror before heading out to Eddie in the next room.

“There she is!” Eddie says, opening his arms wide, “How ya feelin’?” I walk over and snuggle up next to him, engulfed in the scent and warmth of him once again.

“Better. Still a little cold though,” I nuzzle further into him, not that there’s much room between us already.

“Well you’re in luck. I looked in the pantry and found some hot cocoa mix and mini marshmallows. I got your mug sittin in the kitchen,” Before I could even try to get it myself Eddie is up and off the couch and in the kitchen warming up my cocoa. He comes back only seconds later with a large mug topped with far too many marshmallows.

“Thank you,” I say as I reach out and grab the mug with both hands. I take a sip and feel as the warm liquid heats me from the inside. “DId you add-”

“Peppermint and cinnamon, yes ma’am. I know what you like,” He winks at me. A blush creeps up my cheeks at the words but I hide my face in the delicious drink before he can see. Eddie turns away from me to grab a nearby blanket and toss it over my shoulders, but he doesn’t go back to his seat.

“Come back! I miss your warmth.”

“Yeah yeah in a minute I gotta put this movie on first,” He’s crouched in front of the tv shuffling through disks and tapes. A minute later he finds the one he was looking for with a triumphant “Here it is, that little bastard.”

I just roll my eyes at him as he sets up the movie. Finally done with that and anything else he might need to do, Eddie slides in next to me and cuddles in the blanket as well. We watch as the screen brightens and the opening scene of my favorite movie starts to play.

“Wait, how did you?” I look between the tv and the man next to me, who just has a smile on his face as he looks at my shocked expression. “I bought it a while ago, figured you’d be over a lot so I might as well start making it more homey for you.”

I am in too much shock to utter any words so I opt for smothering him in kisses instead. This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me and I can’t imagine anyone else sitting here next to me other than Eddie. We both burst out laughing before settling down and watching the movie before both of us drift off to sleep.

Eddie Taglist: @ali-r3n @dixontardis @witchwolflea @micheledawn1975 @daydreaming-mood @idfwfeelings @adaydreamaway08 @preciousbumplingbee @rustboxstarr @plk-18 @teary-eyed-egg @needylilgal022 @exploding-bonbon @gagasbee @eddiemunsonsguitarpic @aol19 @thatwitchyoucouldntburn @meanlilbean @sonnyahngel @corrodedcass @pigwidgeonxo @marsmunson86 @lottie-90 @figmentofquinn @sareim123122 @eddies-puppet @gvf23 @kennedy-brooke @rocklees-wife @emma77645 @cherris-n-peaches @breehumbles @joequinn-love @anyoddthoughts @aysheashea @eddiesskittle @uncxmfxrtablex @cherrymedicine13 @mrsjellymunson @shotgunhallelujah @bambipowerblueaddition @hexqueensupreme @josephquinnsfreckles @harrysgothicbitch @paleidiot @smurfflynn @lilyungpeanut @selena-rocker27

#eddie stranger things #munson #eddie munson #eddie my love #eddie my beloved #female reader #oneshot #smut #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson fic #eddie munson x you #stranger things #stranger things 4 #st4 #stranger things season 4 #eddie x reader

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123puppy · 4 months

Text

(Im)proper Meeting Part 2

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Characters: Angel Dust, Lucifer Morningstar

Lee!Lucifer Ler!Angel Dust

Note: Now it makes sense to add tickling.

Update 2/17/24: I might add/fix this up at some point. I always was impatient writing these particular parts because I like to get to the fun parts. I'll try to keep in as much as possible, I just need to 'polish' some of it so I can stop thinking about this like I made a mess of a fic XD

---

Lucifer felt very comfortable this morning. Not that he's not ever comfortable, but his pillows are extra soft today and he slept through the night without waking up and possibly never going to sleep from restlessness or nightmares. Maybe both.

He did not wake up, once.

And he didn't want to start now, nuzzling his cheek into the pillow and smacking his lips.

A sharp intake of breath makes him freeze. Since when can his pillow breathe? He forces his eyes open and is greeted by white instead of red. He doesn't have a white pillow.

Lucifer reluctantly detaches his face from the fluffy white cushion to get a better look at what he's holding.

"Mornin', cutie" Angel mewls.

Who in hell's name is this!? How did this sinner end up in his bed!??? Did they-?

"WhaaaAHHH! WHO ARE YOU WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, IN MY BED? OH MY GOD WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING DID WE? HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY S-Mmph!"

One hand is placed over Lucifer's mouth while the lower set of hands cup his rosey cheeks, guiding his face towards Angel, eyes blown wide in his panic

"Deep breaths, doll." Angel's breaths are exaggerated as he stares into the smaller man's eyes. Lucifer follows his breathing, and though it took a few minutes, he began to settle down. His body is still suffering the aftershocks, frame trembling as he continues to stare at Angel Dust with severe unease.

"First things first, we didn't fuck so you can rest easy," THAT got Lucifer to breathe properly and sag all the way down on the bed like a puddle. Angel snickers, "Second, you can be pretty convincing to get someone into bed with you just by being adorable. Very cuddlebug material."

Lucifer covers his face in shame, ears flushed. " I am so sorry, I shouldn't have forced you like that, I never sh-ack! Hehey!" The shorter male yelps as his side gets a sharp poke, immediately throwing his hands down to shove the appendage away.

Angel noticed the reaction but needed to focus on important matters."Ya' didn't do no such thing. I jus' couldn' say no to a precious face like this~" He grasps Lucifer's cheeks and squeezes them. The blush returns full force and the man squirms in his hold. "And I got to sleep in the most comfortable bed with the softest sheets to boot, so it's a win-win on both parties, baby!"

Lucifer grumbles and Angel can see the remnants of sadness from last night shimmer in his eyes. The Porn Star frowns, then remembers what he did earlier and grins.

"Ya know, I can't help but notice how jumpy you were when I got you on ya' side." He sees the panic in the King's eyes and his grin widens.

"Y-You startled me is all!" Lucifer pulls away from Angel's hands. He doesn't look the sinner in the eyes, fidgeting. "I...," He swallows, "... haven't been in physical contact in a long time. I mean, uh... I-I..." He mumbles and Angel leans forward.

"What's that?"

Lucifer goes red again. He just can't stop blushing today! "I'm sensitive okay? Its been so long, I'm not used to touch."

Angel looks at Lucifer with a soft smile. "Well, maybe I can help with that."

Lucifer's eyes widen. "I-I don't think that's necessary."

"Not what you're thinkin', hun." Angel chuckles, edging closer to the nervous fallen angel. His smile turns mischievous. "This is 100% vanilla."

"What do you me-" Angel's top set of hands scuttle along Lucifer's sides. "Wait waitwaitwaitwaitwaihahahait!"

"Ohhh so the King of Hell is ticklish." Angel creeps his nails up higher and pokes at each individual rib, causing the shorter male to curl forward, trying to cover himself. "Ah ah ahhh," Angel's bottom set of hands find their way to Lucifer's exposed hips and presses the pads of his thumbs against the soft thin skin. The shrill laughter that comes out is almost enough to stop the assault as Lucifer jerks at the sensation, bucking and thrashing on the sheets.

"Ohohoho my gAHahahahahad nohohohoho I cahahan't!"

"Already tappin' out?" Angel lightens his touch and brings out his third set of arms. He uses his top set to grab Lucifer's flailing arms and presses them above his head. The middle set of arms gently drag up his sides, pushing up Lucifer's shirt. The shorter male seized at the feather light touch to his sensitive skin and squeaks with each nail that drew patterns at the sides of his tummy.

"Dohohon't!" He wiggles around and cries out when Angel teases his belly button, drawing circles around it. "STAHAHAP!" He squeaks out, unable to keep the desperation from his voice, cheeks pink and eyes popping wide open.

"Don't stop?" Angel cooes, "So you like it when I dooo this?"

A shriek emits from Lucifer when Angel plunges his finger in his navel, wiggling rapidly. Pin prick tears appear at the corners of Lucifer's eyes, back arched as he kicks a pillow across the room. "NO!" He did not like that, he wanted to yell that out too to get his point across but squeaky laughter is all he can muster as he bucks and kicks about.

"Okay, okay I'll go back to this then." The wiggling stops and Lucifer drops on the mattress with a whine "That betta'?" The smugness in his tone has Lucifer thinking about setting the archnid on fire if he had enough mind to concentrate without that damn finger sending him into panicked fits of giggles.

"NohohoHOHO!" The King cries out.

"You gotta make up ya' mind," Lucifer hiccups before a shriek comes out when Angel wiggles his finger again.

It felt like an eternity to Lucifer before his laughter goes silent. That's when Angel slows his assault, removing his finger from the bright pink area all around Lucifer's navel, pretty much petting Lucifer's belly. Which is miles better than what he endured a moment ago.

He doesn't know how long it's been but he's not going to complain getting free belly rubs. He should tell the sinner to stop and leave his room this instant, but his tongue proceeds to poke out between his upturned lips in a form of contentment. He was a weak man to receiving affection.

"Holy shit," The Porn Star places a hand over his mouth, unable to contain the starstruck look on his face at the King of Hell practically melting under his touch. He's released Lucifer's arm a while ago, but the smaller man never moved them from where they've been pinned. He's practically stretched out, welcoming every bit of attention he got. It isn't long until a strange rumbling sound draws Angel's attention. He felt it, in the King's chest where one of his hands lay. It could be him just hearing things but his fingers are vibrating where they rest. He is! The King is... purring!?!?

Angel stops altogether, stunned as Lucifer's stirs from his trance, face pink from exertion, hair stuck out in all directions from tossing and turning in his laughter induced state.

Lucifer peels his eyes open and tries to glare at the Spider Demon, but he's too relaxed to work his best growl that comes out to be a whine.

Angel snickers, "Is that your way of asking for more, shortcakes?"

"..."

"Oh my God, you're too precious-"

"Shut. Up."

#hazbin hotel tickle #hazbin hotel #lee!lucifer #ler!angeldust #my writing #writers on tumblr #sfw tickle #tickling

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thatdeadaquarius · 1 year

Note

Reader that can emit sounds from their memory(like as an aura)

Walk into a room? Why do I hear boss music

Comedic timing? Fuck yeah.

Bored? Jumpscare noise.

Zhongli talking? Jeopardy theme.

Someone is annoying? Earrape.

Think about it!

Hello! I’m the 12th Harbinger, aka as CHIL- bitch shut the fuck up, WHATS UP ITS YA BOY AQUARIUSSS- /ref

lmao imagine you walking into a room like this in teyvat, with like that audio I SAVE BY GIVING IT CPR- TIGHT AS VIRGIN BOY DONT GET NERVOUS-

(also ill stop apologizing for the late replies to these, bc as we all know by now that im slow and u will get answered eventually i promise tumblr most likely didnt delete u guys asks im just hoarding them LMAO)

I’ve been super busy running in circles so sorry about ghosting! I still very much enjoy and love u guys and love seeing you guys enjoy my stuff :’)

Still cant believe that, but thank you!

JEOPARDY THEME MUSIC WHEN ZHONGLI TALKS

HE’D BE SO CONFUSED

THINKIN HE GOT AN ANCIENT CURSE HE DOESNT KNOW ABT PUT ON HIM OR SMTH BC HE’S ALWAYS BEING STALKED BY THIS SONG-

(tbh unless the person is super observant I dont think most ppl would get that it’s YOU causing this chaos lmao)

◇

Like I can see Zhongli eventually getting it lol, other ppl I could see after the first few weeks of interacting with you (esp bc you mix it up, honestly it was only bc u kept playing the jeopardy theme over and over when Zhongli ranted on too long that he got it was you 💀):

Heizou (he’s the best detective on all of Inazuma’s islands, ofc he got it! no he will not acknowledge that he totally thought you were hiding a very musical tanuki somewhere on your person at all times lol)

◇

Alhaitham and Cyno (haitham took like, two hours of walking around town with you and knew, bc he’s a little know-it-all lazy bastard like that, and Cyno is actually just really aware, despite what most ppl think, he’s the General Mahamatra and not just a regular Mahamatra for a reason after all)

◇

Tighnari (i stg he can like, smell when bullshittery is happening in his vicinity …or... hear?)

◇

Venti (unsurpringly, he’s totally in love with this power of yours, i mean he definitely loves you cares about you a lot he says, but you’re starting to think he’s just lying to butter you up into pranking Diluc, Barbara, Jean, and really the entirety of Mondstadt more often including Zhongli just so he can laugh until he’s on the ground again, also he definitely once asked you to make a dragon sound that’s the equivalent of shouting FUCK at Dvalin when he was flying overhead one day)

◇

Hmm

Hm hm hmmmm

Who elseee, i need a characcctterrr lisstttt…

Albedo (duh, he’s albedo, you think he has an entirely too thick folder dedicated to your recent obsessions, you rant a lot about it while playing and also he can access your browsing history 👀, and he somehow doesn't know that about you?? You’re like, literally one of his long-term, there-for-life, has-bought-a-house-for-free-in-his-head-you- arent-even-on-rent-anymore, hyperfixations or special interests. Autistic!Albedo is autistic, Because I Am Your God, And I Say It Is So.)

◇

Dehya (always knows when its you walking around near her bc you like to listen to your old world’s songs too often when you arent pranking bitches, she actually rlly likes it and your music tastes…)

☆

HOLY FUCK SPEED RUN BC GOD THERE’S TOO MANY BITCHES WANNA BE YOUR BABY, RIDING AROUND IN A DAMN MERCEDES-

OKAY-

SO not all in the same way or at the same time, or even the same length of time did they realize you literally change background music or some shit so I’ll let you just- you know okay- like you get it- you get it.

Xiao, Kazuha, Kaeya, Diluc, Ayato, Yae Miko, Keqing, Qiqi, Klee, Sara, Kuki, Nahida, Ningguang, Rosaria, Scaramouche/Babygirl, Dainsleif, Kokomi, Xinyan, Yun Jin, Yelan.

Jfc got the whole damn pride flag up here

Anyway everybody else outta luck, at least takes em a month or longer to get it lol

♡

Sorry abt the end there i didnt feel like writing out all those bitches bc the few I did before were already longer than I thought they’d be…

Also, I am posting these spam of drafts (and that old follower 100+ event possession headcanons in prep for the next 2 weeks bc I will be really busy, again :/

Got spring break shenanigans this week, then I’ll be running around like a cat with zoomies bc im getting ready to install/actually submit my artworks for the gallery exhibition!

…wish me luck or prayers or anything good from any god you believe in, I need the strength.

With love, safe travels,

💀♒️

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

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catgirlbussy · 10 months

Text

holy shit i just realised im autistic

i know this seems like a shitpost, and tbf i am laughing at myself pretty hard rn. it's dawning on me at 6 AM after being awake all night, but (if you care, and if you don't feel free to ignore too, have a nice day!) hear me out, cause this genuinely feels meaningful and insightful for me with how my life has gone so far. I spent an hour writing this post in hopes someone might find it helpful too :3c

If you don't wanna read my post pls enjoy this picture of our famous friend autism baby stackin those cans before you go~♪

(source: wikipedia)

like i already /knew/ I was before this moment, but i was thinkin about what i used to do as a kid and wow i am so autistic how the fuck did i not realise sooner. It straight up wasn't until I was already well into my 20's that I started to meet other autistic people online and learned about their experiences and difficulties from talking with them that I realised a lot of things they described matched for me too.

I live in assfuck nowhere so most of my life the only few times that I had met autistic people were like, folks who were nonverbal or whatever, just generally needing direct assistive care, and I never bothered to look things up on my own because I was already inundated with the pressures of growing up, school, mental health, etc. I remember one of the first times I had built up the courage to ask anyone about it, I was in the hospital because of mental health issues. This was in my second year uni, and when one of the doctors assessing me was asking me questions, I said I thought maybe I was autistic. He promptly and with a fair amount of snark told me that if I was autistic I wouldn't have gotten into university.

Thinking back, he was probably just an exhausted, fresh outta school resident with no special interest in psychiatric care (and also just seemed to suck in general), but it was enough that I shelved the idea for another 5 years.

Lo and behold, now I am lying here in bed, just absolutely gobsmacked by the VERY REAL idea that im autistic and like holy shit I feel so vindicated.

I've been on tumblr for just a bit, but I see a lot of folks talking in various neurodivergent circles about their experiences and that's been so wonderful for me. I also have a few good friend groups w/ a lot of neurodivergent folks, and that's been really exciting too.

Like, I'm still processing this cognitively as I'm writing, so please pardon this ill patterned post, but this feels like such a beneficial thing for me. Over time I've adapted a few strategies here and there to help myself accomplish various tasks, but now I feel so empowered to, like... actually figure stuff out.

Even after feeling confident I was autistic, it was this nebulous, floating concept in my head for so long of, "oh yeah im autistic or something idk," that I never really dedicated much effort to finding healthier ways to do things that didn't irk me or whatever. I don't feel like the label /itself/ is what is important to me here, but rather the awareness around why I do so many things in the ways that I do and that it's /okay/ that I do.

I don't want this post to go on too much longer, but I feel it's worth noting that I've fought for years with my family because they didn't understand why I was going about things the way I did. Again, remember, they all grew up in this cloistered hellhole too. But, surprise surprise, the times in my life that I have been doing better than any other are when I felt confident enough to ignore what everyone was trying to get me to go along with and instead just fashioned my own best methods (which also sometimes included informing said overbearing individual(s) to go fuck themselves cause I'm busy doing shit. It's hard for them to argue with me telling them as much when I would be completing X objective well, which is what they wanted in the first place).

I don't want to make this sound like I'm trying to be overconfident, but I mention as much instead as a sign of support for other neurodivergent folks to feel similarly empowered to drum to their own beat. Thinking back, I went from almost failing high school and ultimately retaking a grade to excelling in all my classes. Every single one. I know that's a relative assessment, you got variable difficulty levels, etc., and the grade score isn't important in and of itself, least of all because the school systems here (Canada) are a mess it seems, but just that alone as an idea, within the parameters of a particular system, I went from initial abject failure to thorough and lauded success.

Just think of what so many people could do if they weren't being pigeonholed into formats that absolutely aren't working for them.

I already have a boatload of (genuinely helpful by way of enabling access to proper education and treatment) diagnoses from my history of working with my (very wonderful and genuinely caring and helpful) psychiatrist that match with what I know about the neurodivergence term umbrella like ADHD, OCD, and bipolar, so it seems |autism| will feel quite at home in the group ^w^. I'll ask her about it at my next appointment to see if an official diagnosis has any value versus me just continuing to figure things out on my own.

Either way, I am thrilled right now thinking about the next time I get to shout

"FUCK YOU IM DOING AUTISTIC SHIT"

while an electric guitar squeals and lightning strikes all around me and I make cool stuff happen :3c.

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chaisshitposts · 8 months

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What is your stronger side? I am very curius about psychk. I love this rabbit hole!

me rn bc you've induced some major brain vomit from me about this particular subject and I'm about infodump like a mf ^^^

aHHHH ME TOO!!! I'm hyperfixatin' on it 🕵️ I believe my stronger side is my right side, which presumably controls the left hemisphere of my brain aka the more logical side, which is BABIES because I'm a very creative, think outside of the triangle kinda person so I'd think I'm more of a right brainer. but it also kinda makes sense that I'm a lil' stronger in my right side since it's my dominant side and I do like to overanalyze & overthink things in a logical way (I need to change that belief as a matter of fact) 🤔 hoWevEr I have heard that it's important to use both sides of yer body to keep yer brain strong and lessens the chances of gettin' Alzheimer's and dementia (which I'm manifestin' a cure for both bc hell nah that shit is wack)

heads up, im about to ramble.

when I was readin' up on psych-k and the whole brain state, I stumbled across this new idea that's like 'brain gym' and I didn't think much of it until YESTERDAY when I was like... hm, are there other ways to make both sides of the brain work simultaneously while I'm awake??? cause psych-k is workin' for me and all but I'm sure there are other ways to communicate with both sides of my brain simultaneously to make affirmations stick in a much more efficient manner. when ya have both sides of yer brain workin' in harmony while affirmin' ya get like this deeper level of saturatin' yer mind aNd I wanted more of that bc it gives my brain the t i n g l e s. should also be mentioned that workin' yer entire brain is also a form of what can be referred to as 'super learnin' isn't that fuckin' gnarly??? i think it is. lIke could ya imagine that with this information now ya could literally just sit down and study somethin' with the utmost efficiency and whole brain thinkin' just by crossin' your damn ankles???????? wish I knew this shit when I was still in school--- wait nvm I'm still doin' classes.

there's this weird lil' exercise which is BASICALLY psych-k but ya stand up and do actual movements (super weird but also kinda fun for my monkey brain) iTs cALlEd the cross-crawl and there's a whole bunch of benefits for it (imma copy paste them below) this is all from this website I tried it for a few seconds yesterday and it was weird and cringey so I stopped but imma try it out again today for science 🧍

• Build your core strength

• Release stress and tension

• Enhance whole-brain thinking (get your left and right hemispheres to work together)

• Calm your mind

• Energize your body

it's pretty much a lil' funny dance where ya march side to side— its an actual exercise so y'know

ANYWAYS, it should be known that I am an avid method hopper because all methods work for me and I can do anything I want and it still works, sO I was thinkin' of a crazy ass combination of methods that involves psych-k, cross-crawling, and reverse psychology from @/charmedreincarnation which they described in detail in this post

this sounds insane and all over the place, I know, but I can't help it its because of how my brain chemistry works 😭 im like a mad scientist with manifestation methods at this point

BUT BUT BUT BEFORE I FORGET!!! THERES ANOTHER EXERCISE THAT STIMULATES BOTH SIDES OF THE BRAIN AND INVOLVES ONLY YER HANDS. This bad boy right here

also... why did I find another brain synchronization exercise video... I need to slow my road. but here it is anyways

I had no idea Tai Chi was a form of brain synchronization exercise holy shit???? but ig that makes sense since it is a state of meditation

i could have infodumped WAY more but I forgot most of the other things I wanted to say... 🤡 TY FOR ASKIN' THIS QUESTION!!! ask me more questions if ya want me to info dump again, I'll try to keep my thoughts organized

#— chai's asks. !! ~#— anonnie. !! ~#ty for askin' anon bc now i have to write all of this down like a maniac #— chai rambles. !!~#my autism is showing #brb about to go wax on and wax off while affirming 😭#AYO JACKIE CHAN WAS ONTO SOMETHIN' IN KARATE KID???#should i make a post about brain exercises

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1moreoffkeyanthem · 4 months

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how or when do sp characters sleep

My DUDE these are pretty much overarching takes but since u just commented on an OrangeJuiceVerse post I’m ESPECIALLY thinkin ojv on these! So I’m doin the Star Seven

Stan falls asleep anywhere anytime. Always. One of those people that climb in bed and are lights out within two seconds. Lucky bastard. He’ll sleep in a car, on a floor, couch, wherever; if he’s tired he’s sleeping and it doesn’t matter where. He may stay up late sometimes with his online dnd group but when everyone logs off he’s Out the moment his head hits the pillow. And he is such a deep sleeper too. Just laid out like a log and needs to be aggressively shaken awake. He’s a realllly good pillow bc he doesn’t move tho.

Kyle is the exact opposite. I’m not gonna say he’s high maintenance, but he’s kinda particular with sleeping conditions. The fan has to be going, it has to be dark, he can’t sleep in socks, there’s gotta be a water bottle in reach, ya know. Also if we are talking OJV, he won’t complain if, like, he’s staying the night on someone’s foldout couch, but he has chronic pain bc he never got proper treatment for an injury in high school, so he has trouble getting comfortable when his knee is bothering him. And!!! In general his mind is so active and he has so much trouble getting it to quiet down enough to sleep, he’s tossing and turning forever, gets too warm, sleeps half out of the blanket, a mess. Wakes up at the drop of a hat, the wind blows too loud outside and he’s awake again. He feels guilty napping during the day, so that only happens when he’s not feeling well.

Kenny, 80% of the time, is like Stan, dead to the world when he’s asleep, but he’s too damn instinctual for his own good and if anyone or anything feels off to him during the day, he can’t fall asleep that night. He’s very much a guy who sleeps curled up on his side, and comfort doesn’t matter a whole lot to him. He has awful dreams frequently though, and sleep paralysis gets him a lot, which sucks when he’s sleeping heavily bc it’s really hard to wake up. Marj can usually sense times like that in the same way she senses his Curse, so she can wake him up to get him out of it.

Marjorine is a pretty normal sleeper, like 10-15 minutes of imagining her mental story (she ain’t alone in the pre sleep scenario I do that always) and she’s drifting off, she’s a cuddly sleeper for sure, which is awesome bc Kenny’s a GREAT little spoon, and if Kenny isn’t there she’s hugging a pillow.

Tweek dear god he is the worst sleeper on the planet. He goes to bed super early most of the time, only to wake up an hour later with no hope of falling asleep again. Like he’ll sleep from around 7-9, be awake until 5, sleep for another hour or so, and then it’s daytime so he can’t sleep bc he’s worried something bad will happen while he’s out. (Btw I am fully pulling Tweek sleep headcanons from myself I am an awful sleeper) He OCCASIONALLY naps, but only by accident. If he tries to take a nap during the day on purpose, he can’t, but when he doesn’t want to, that’s when he gets the best sleep. He has AWFUL dream like his nightmares are so vivid and terrifying and sometimes even prophetic. Even the dreams that aren’t scary are so clear that he’s left confused about if they were real. The scary visions and sleep paralysis are a lot of the reason he’s so paranoid and when it’s been a few days since he’s gotten sleep? The hallucinations dude holy shit.

Craig is kind of a night owl, and he really isn’t a morning person, but once he goes to bed, he’s asleep pretty fast. And he really isn’t picky about where he sleeps or what time it is, he just sleeps. He rarely has dreams that are jarring enough to remember, and while he usually hits the snooze button a few times, he can wake up relatively quickly. Not a napper at ALL this man thrives on routine and consistency. He hardly ever wakes up in the night once he’s out, even with Tweek thrashing around trying to get comfortable beside him lmfao

Cartman. I don’t have a whole lot to say on his sleep habits really, other than he’s out here in one of those eyemasks and a sleep noise playlist going lmaoooo he got the oil diffuser drifting lavender mist into the air and all that. He wakes up to an alarm programmed to play soft music with birds gently chirping bc he likes to feel like a Disney princess in the mornings. Lmfao he’s so unserious I love ojverse cartman

THANK YOU FOR ASKING THIS!!! I had fun thinkin abt it and projecting onto Tweek lol rip gotta love the gnomes

#asks #GUYS I LOVE ASKS #also I legit have awful sleep habits time isn’t real and neither is my single crumb of sanity #south park #and I had to make this #OrangeJuiceVerse #but I feel like they apply just in general #stan marsh #kyle broflovski #kenny mccormick #marjorine stotch #tweek tweak #craig tucker #eric cartman #headcanons

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notmuchtoconceal · 1 year

Text

- welcome to a bruxaria – a show that may or may not still be the bruxcast. on my program today, i have the effervescent lil tall sip of fizz, cpt. luxor drottin ready to seranade us with some fine poppy foam bubbles i know you'll be eager to trickle right down your shirt fronts!

- what up, brother brux. you got a special girl in your life yet, bro?

- she's out there, mate! might be listenin in right now for all we know!

- bro, what i know is you're gonna make the luckiest lady alive the lady who makes you the luckiest man alive. you're so special, brother brux. you deserve a special girl to be with, all the rest of your days ~ !

- cpt. drottin, i have to ask – you a great dane or just a standard swede?

- deffo not enough finns to make a whole fish, bro.

- an avalanche every iceman cometh, i am indeed the jelliest of donuts!

(STICK IT IN A PUSS O/o STICK IN A PUSS o/O YOU LOVE TO CUP THE VULVAE /O CUP THE VULVAE /o CUP THE VULVAE O/O )

- bro, you should soundproof cpt. hlaford when you're recording, otherwise stick em someplace soundproof, bro. holy hell – what are you even spending 9/10ths of our total broadcast budget on if you can't account for basic quality of life improvements?

- mate, we hadn't always been a big show. you're a young up-and-comer. you weren't with us in the early seasons. i started out as a pirate channel in a janitorial closet and did every show to the hammer beat of wally deadliftin in nothing but a big sweaty ass-stained lycra singlet and cheese scented wool socks, the singlet himself (itself -- weren't once human!) almost obscenely padded out by a fat heavy knit cotton tee which'd accrued mothscales on pine like sycamore sap; sweatmarks foamroasted in tree rings so much i thought he were wearin some sorta throwback arctic camo -- sometimes just strippin outta his drenched as shit singlet, tossin his goofy coconut tropical scented pineapple printed dick briefs at me head. full on fuckin sloshin me like urinal piss foam in a mug i served outta the tap at me own bar, and wally fukin drank it down, asked for another and another -- by the end, i was dehydrated, lyin on my side jitterin and he just bleched and said he was goin out fer a beer /// live on air, his stinky fuckin briefs hittin me head, and it's so sweet and anointed and heedy like a fuckin pina cooldada it takes awhile to taste the burn -- joshua openly fornicatin christos, i bet this man's cock is delicious! i just wanna stare the seat of his pants everyday the rest of my life and cringe thinkin about how good it'll taste, but i'll never ask, cause i'm such a shy and delicate flower -- i had to hear it during recording, during editing, on the air. it's part of my creative process now. there just is no motive to create without hearin wally scream through a wall. punch through the wall. chase me around the room. hollerin after me to gimme back his soul. destroyin all my equipment, but not before it can all be backed up to the satellite, way out in space, where wally's domain can not yet penetrate into the upper atmospheres ~0~ ! tell you the truth, i can't coax him into helpin me do it unpaid, so i just sort loike – y'know. built my sets around him. sometimes cut off pathways in advance, to keep him boxed in, change the patterns of nature to make him predictable, just sorta like – you know. follow him and record so inspiration can strike the second he lets his guard down and thinks he's free to be himself, but i'm just over here bein a nosy lil anthropologist lady who wants to record the sound of him gettin it on so i can once again feel a butterly tinglin in my nowhere places when the currents of life are alive and fruitful like a smoothie churning egg beater my brain from which i will fry the heartiest crepes?

- bro, to be completely honest – i have so many questions, i don't even know where to start, so um – i won't unless you give me a few moments to collect myself, which i doubt you will?

- mate no, by all means. this is a show where two people talk. a talk show. i have to show you talking. in all the hours we've been together, i'm sure i definitely have footage of you talking. go ahead. prove it to me now and to the viewers at home that you have participated in my talk show by talking to me – now. live on air. edited only for initial broadcast.

- um –

- cpt. drottin, you know, i think –

[vintage tye-dye throwback bumper

cpt. laika greenscreened onto a celluloid scarred void of rippling droplets !

collides with cpt. jacek in the edit ! ~ !

as typical,

laika's overblown toothy cheeked eyeball fucking is soggy sugarmush churned maple greens from steel-cuts =0

/ and jacek's face looks much like his dick --

much too large and swaggering to be this fuckin leaky. ]

( 0 _ ./. o. >,: <;\|-/~ ) o ( l .,.KlTYT>| |)

the bell rung.

the mirage accumulated by light particles into corpulence.

your brother didn't have a beard. he looked nothing at all like cpt. drottin.

- um, sir?

once again, your most favored hour fell upon you.

- your sarcasm is much appreciated, sir. you're the only one who has the balls to roast me both openly and to my face.

in full confidence, you would much rather have him raw.

- our most astute viewers know the true meanings of your words, as do i, though i scar my tongue most to know saltlick... just gonna pretend you wanna rut my tight and virtuously chaste hole and leave me drenched in my own tenderings and squirtings, sir. // your proclivities have been much established by those-in-the-know, but um… this'll look better for the men, you know? you're way more relatable when they're thinkin bout you like, um – like grabbin me,& suckin me without, um, tearin me in half and slurpin out each a my halves like shucks through the pelvic openings?

he has such a pretty throat. a shame you couldn't fit both your cocks in his mouth at once without tearing him apart down the prime meridian.

- sir, i know you're jockin me right now, big bro. you had two cocks, um – holy fuck, you'd have this cloven hoof bulge all gnarled like the limbs of a tree out which the earth had been hollowed, all fat roots and pike-thorn branches and, um – i'd wanna bury myself in your crotch even more?

you and everyone fuckin else, kid.

- my apologies, sir. after my recent sesh with cpt. schreibermachen, where secrets were re-divulged without the application of rope, i couldn't help but fall into the dreamy reveries he induces upon the mere mention of your, um – that shrill horrible beeping sound that would otherwise lance at my ears, but which by his gentle assurance now floods my nerves with the anticipation of the sweetness before a toothache?

he needed to surprise you. he wasn't doing anything new today.

- i could rip off my face and expose the maw of coiled intestines beneath, hissing out with the hellfire of your own failed accountings, lord of all which forgotten ~ slain always by the light of remembrance?

throw a tarp on him. worst he'd do is burn the place down.

–

cpt. schreibermachen glanced at cpt. drottin through the light.

he seemed for a moment, only anonymous. some face more flesh than memory, shed as the cicada shell of a mask.

- never have i met a man before as you, brother – as uncut and void of substance as myself.

cpt. drottin – let himself linger in the glance that he threw back.

he would stroll as he would linger, some eternal dusk whenever he took things slow. though his eyes were the hardball palming the mits of the leather. no fangs to see in the dusklight he crept.

corrosion softest in the creases. parts of him wore away, from wear and from moisture, and it seemed inevitable – that he should decay though still a young calf he was. to slaughter before spoil. no caustic splotches. no sheens of oilslick to stain. the wear of age which deep intuition had bent into seams varicose down the planes of his face – hairline fractures in the light which you would only see for only you looked, and met not a man's eyes before meeting the topography of his skin, as you interrogated your seawall against oblivion every morning.

you had seen comelier young men putresce on the vine. he was simply microdosed with his own fermentations, dispersed in beads along the sweet, you never tasted his punch, or into what frenzy it drew you.

- i will hear you, brother – for you are a virtuous man.

schreibermachen wore a brief of cotton, drottin a brief of aluminum – the translucence of the strands wrung spun and glow wormed in the rays of the evening sun refracted off the contouring of their meddle.

their cocks they pushed together, to careen shaft to shaft, in boy's adventure fables where they knew the heroics of their capacities for life and for daring, ascending and descending the ropes from which they hung and swung, sang and wrang, though sometimes it were vine or stone, and they could press only closer to cling in embrace, singing praises of valor, sputtering salival and bellowing, articulations upon articulations as you strove to meet his eyes ~

though your head craned back as his, slick inside the prison of his briefs, as you foamed through the cling of yours, your slick coating his, beading through the meshing to mingle with his as he stewed in your seepage and his stung your nicks, your cockheads so tight inside the dual collar of your phimotic ring, magenta and clamped upon by the joint limitations of your own crucified anatomies, as you were girdled in flesh as you were gartered in fly, as much two bodies trapped inside a mind as two minds trapped within a body, inches upon inches together /

your eightheads together, (4 + $ - CAP = ←) meeting his eyes with the mutual piteousness of your need, hovering at a threshold of ecstatic communion, condemned to never plummet off, but shoot deep roots into the rocks at the edge, to drop fruit to be carried far in the rivers below ~ your trunks entwined and your branches parting farther, the spongeal nodes of your need still aching and pressed together, no longer able even to rub, but merely to give and to merely pulse in the same heartbeat of your idiot-eyed surrender to himself and to you ~

breeches around your ankles in the public squares, your uniform jackets drenched with drool, foaming down your legs and into your breeches, briefs so soaked-through there is nothing left to-be unseen ~

and you are breathing in the spice of cpt. drottin's beard, longing to bite at it, but you can only hold him, wishing your faces were clamped even closer together, stuffed by the figure-eight of a dual-chambered inflatable gag, mouths clamped into the optical illusion of a vice-grip jaw to jaw so you could meet his eyes, only his eyes, and never be away from those pools into which you longed to drown, but would plunge into only to scale up – for the light you saw was but a reflection of your own.

… you are the true foundation, brother joseph;

drottin sang to ache ~

the exhaustion he could no longer prolong.

[ camera left rolling for six hours.

through the silky, slatten light

falling through embers of alleys;

cpt. hlaford bums a smoke off a derelict saint, to bless him with a bottle of spiced rum, and a pirate jig they will do.

a pirate jig they did do for you.]

( )

- cpt. drottin. my, my – aren't you looking lovely this fine day!

- thank you, cpt. haruspex. all the world is lovely that i look upon ~

- do you ever feel, like, er – there's somethin that needs to be done that you aren't doin, mate? sometimes i feel like i, um – sorta use people to distract myself from my real problems?

- bro, you shouldn't be talking to me if you have things you need to do.

- mate, no – it's not like that, it's more, like –

- you can't make excuses for yourself, cpt. haruspex. you're a brave and enduring soul who every day stands in the muck of primordial chaos and pushes the world heaved upon your shoulders back up into the warm and ever enduring horizon line of the sun. you know this to be the truest and most real you. you know the smog which composes the pollutant of your atmospheres arises only from maladaptive industry, and this is simply the cumulative effect of many tiny corrosions which have gone unchecked, for an arrest has come over your basest components.

... you are a live today, cpt. haruspex. the day is what you make of it, and you ought make a reality the many fine things you know yourself capable. will you take my hand? take your hand and make a pledge to me?

- mate, your hands i'd –

- don't be scared, brother brux. i'm just a man.

- …

- haha, hey lil slime trail.

- it's just, um – you're so warm and so soft – i don't want to lose myself in your eyes, cause i'm not as strong a swimmer as i should be, or maybe i am, bein the one to be born and all, it's just – i jump headfirst into choppy waters or else plunge into the arctic cold? cause i like to?

… guess it sorta feels like when i see the storm waves or the blackest depths, i gotta take the leap. if i don't, it's like – why didn't ya jump in? why didn't ya endanger your life? what's a self-preservation instinct done but hold ya back to the wall? think you're ever gonna flower in the ice?

/// sure are gettin oily, mate – way your hormones are chuggin away.

... what ya see's what ya get, and all ya see is the filth gushin out ya. you breakin up, or you breakin out? i seein static or caulked splotches? why i see a time-lapse of a rose on every face, so bright and clear i can anoint myself with my own imaginins?

... guess it sorta feels like the slicker i get, the more i can stay outta holds, but um – i don't always know if there're people grabbin at me while i'm under water? the pressure wraps around me. some hand, some arm. throats always grippin mine. don't always know what i need to do. if i'm strugglin to keep my head up, or strugglin to sink!

- cpt. haruspex, look upon this vast country. all but the sink is yours.

... cpt. haruspex, look upon this scarred and arid continent. all but the sink is yours. you have no basin in which to let stagnate still waters, and no gorge cut by the slow erosion of a coercive night's languid stream.

... you are face down now in a puddle of your own brewing, gasping for air when you could simply flip and meet the sky ~

falling to the sky

… some fisheye of waters diffused, icy only at the rims of space.

... sun warmed as the sands in which you lie, standing only to see truth.

... cpt. haruspex, you have dominion over every beast that you tame. you have dominion over every land you claim. you receive nothing of what you have asked, though you have accepted everything you have to gain. you assist and you are given, and you insist only so you do not receive. there are things which you are owed, and to make yourself known will bestow upon you the earnings of your actions! do not drown yourself in your own meager moisture – not when you have it within you to call upon those pressures of the sea, to cloak out the air ~ in the black tumult of the storm winds, you may blot out the sun – for an hour, for a day – to drench the droughted land in the downpour for which it is overdue!

- am i like heat, lux? risin like air, or bread in the oven? will i be fanned down or else carved and buttered? am i a tasty lil croissant – you wanna have me for breakfast, deem me the fittest meal, unworthy as i am?

- with my coffee, um – put some butter in there, too – make it shimmer as gold in the suns you obscure, for what dim light you have is surely radiant, though it skims only blackenings of my won-blotted eyes?

- and my waters? soakin the land as a fair maid well-aware i have tracked her far across the fields?

... will they sink deep, between the hard baked scales of the sun-drenched soil – the debris of what is dead and dry, to raise porous and fungal in the caps of some vast toadstool, as handsy as it is without hands?

- i will always remember you, cpt. haruspex. you are the bell which makes me remember. you are the ring which wakes me to dismember.

- i am the phone you never pick up. i am a connection you did not make. i am a spring shower dried up too soon, for the light of the sun oppresses me with its bounty :-- which is not the meager bounty of oijyamb. doomed though i am, doom always ain't gotta be such a gloomy thing!

- in the shade, the boulevard of every garden :-- hatted though i am, no cat am I, though still i feed on all assortments of what i net! we are all the octopus :-- for we reach and we grasp, and the bites of our kisses leave their mark or their notch, more pattern than bloodclot or breakage!~

- lux, i err – really appreciate all you have to say, but i really need to go to the bathroom mate. can you please let go of my hands? your grip is so strong, so tight and so loving, i think it makes me quiver in ways that neither me or my bladder could ever get used to!

- go, brother brux! begin your showers early!

- land's gonna get real fertile, i can tell ya that mate!

– another brick, brother lux. it is a pleasure to be limed with you.

///

...

[armchair slid against the tile, crashed back against the plateglass ;;

ceramic shattering, rootwork of marble slab pulled up by the plinth.]

,,,

\\\

[cpt. psychorragia hunched over throbbing, polishing his pulsating meat, bellowing like an ape peeling, fondling, mashing bunches upon bunches of ripe bananas unfurling in pinecone fountain light waters gushing burgeoning spooge geysers of milk and honey in cascades of neuronal flares all throughout the denser coagulants of himself; all over his muscleboy mantits shoulders so broad and slopey.]

./ o ./

cpt. psychorrhax dabbed the cloth under cpt. schreibermachen's eyes.

blooms darkened the blue to bluer gray, as light as spring rain, shining black as mud beckoning a baptism in clay.

though he picked up far from little, it could hardly be enough.

the tears, infrequent though they were, bled him for the waters came too fast and too heavy, and left joey once more clinging to his brother –

some branch he ducked under to catch reprieve from the downpour, as he looked back to see fields bleak with storm swallowed by the choppy surf of some granite tide, finding himself now alone on a rock stranded out at sea, sodden beneath the wind-torn branches of this lone and rootless tree he kept upright, for he did not know, were he to lean his weight upon its boughs, would it sink or stay afloat.

- you're too good to me, laik.

- that is a contradiction in terms, cpt. schreibermachen.

where joey refused to push himself -- seduced always by the warmth of his brother's arms -- he would find himself pulled beneath the riptide, buried forever in the mudflats which churned beneath the shallow seas.

- what depthless rubber lungs i have! what a well-scrubbed and castiron heart! let no man tell you there is no fortification to be found in running away! for what submersible would i be if i caved to the pressures ... !

joey's hands clenched laika's shoulders.

the blood grew torpid in his veins.

laika spoke, and made himself heard.

- a lesson our brother, cpt. haruspex has no want to learn, for he lives his lectures daily, repeating them with such frequency.

his hands rested in mutual conspiracy with himself to lean further in, for he could feel only useless letting them hang limp at his sides, and so it made itself so that to anchor was always an act of will.

– i shouldn't need you to do these things for me, laik.

though now joey felt only that he could push off, for there could be no indignity greater than being seen for what he could not hide.

once more, laika made himself more.

-- i am the man you love. i would do these things and many more, and i would do them gladly, would you but permit me.

from the distance of a forearm's length, cpt. schreibermachen could meet his brother's eyes ~ the peak of a silver mountain through the mist.

– i shouldn't need you… to take care of me, laik.

laika leaned in.

joey's heat bled through the layers of their shared insulation.

– everyone needs someone to take care of em, joe.

once more, a gooiness clung to the skin of his arms. pearlescent as honeysuckle baked in the heat of their embrace. steam distillations rose from pomegranate flesh and there were nothing but cocktails to be had.

– not the major. never the major. he is truly more – unconquerable than i.

laika allowed himself to linger – he had no cause to contradict in full. not here. where he was needed most. where he most needed to be.

– you don't know what he needs. sometimes i know better, big bro.

joey stayed with him. it seemed natural. no protocol, and no guilt.

he would give anything, for with laika he had all to give.

for laika never asked for things he could not give.

#with this ring #can't live with em #can't ever die without em #fuck you #don't ask me why #i am the reason

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stuck-in-the-ghost-zone · 5 months

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MACCC first of all merry christmas i hope u r having a WONDERFUL DAY <3 second of all i just finished watching steven universe and i’m just thinkin. steven and vash r literally the same character DO U HEAR MEEEE!!!! protagonists who have gone through horrible terrible things and were implied to have survived through Silly Cartoon Hijinks but were actually left with horrible physical and mental trauma and also they have dealt with horrible tyrants they’re related to and saved the day through the power of love and peace but also they’re Pissed Off about the world and want to go apeshit. same guy different font!!! third of all i am giving u a great big hug and a fist bunp ur so cool <3 mwah mwah i hope ur havin a lovely day no matter who ur spending it with!!!!

HI HI HI. HI!!!!!!! OMG. IM LATE. MERRY CHRISTMAS I HOPE U GOT SOME GOOD GIFTS. holy shit i am letting u cook. i am soooo letting you cook here. youre onto something

its been. SO very long since ive watched su (and i never actually got around to watching su: future and i KNOW thats where a lot of the. well. trauma kicks in ) so i dont have as much to offer here as I'd like but. ooooo buddy i see it

something something guys who dont feel like they deserve to take up space unless theyre putting themselves at risk to help people . is this anything

#i love self sacrificial losers #hiiiiii whiskey!!!! love u !!!!!#friends!!!#asks #anachronistic-falsehood

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wild-west-wind · 1 year

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So I found a sweater that I got during my senior year of high school and I’m thinking about how younger me would feel about the adult I am, and so much of it would depend on how old young!me is.

Like, age 6, I’d be like “I grow up to be the coolest person ever! I drove a trash truck AND taught art AND played with snakes AND see bears! I’m going to be the coolest grown up ever! Have you been on TV? HOLY SMOKES! Do you still have toy snakes? Do you want to see my toy snakes? I have them in my pocket.”

Age 10 “Wait we’re poor? I want to be an inventor, where did we go wrong. I need details.”

Age 13 “I can’t talk to you I can’t think about this.”

Age 18 “Oh shit, we lived? Oh no. I didn’t plan for this. Are you okay? Do we... No, just the last question are you okay? I’m sorry.”

Anyway so I’m wearing the sweater now. Did my hair. Just thinkin’ and drinkin’.

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spotsupstuff · 1 year

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Creature of root and wire? Folks gods? I am listening

GJLKDSJLKMK there's!!! not much thought that went into those doodles, honestly! i've just been listening to a lot of folk related stuff (and thinkin of my own n irish/scottish/sailor culture) mainly cuz it's connected to The OC Lore

but some thoughts that did spawn: the iterators are dieties of nature hiding away and just wanting to be more or less left alone (with possibly some meddling from other creatures, wink wonk ancients, this would take place from the perspective of slugcats again)

Pebbles is known as The Creature of Root and Wire. he hides in the dark depths of a secluded forest of dark oak. his place is protected by twisting branches and roots that seem to come alive, attempting to either guide lost creatures away or straight up kill them (The Rot are sickly trees that no longer listen to Pebs). Pebbles himself has skin of bark and moves around thanks to a living branch his body seems to be growing out of. within the bark are mechanications and his throat is made mainly of wires and some pipes, with a mask just kind of slapped on top of that to give the illusion of a head and a face

Moon is known as the Fallen Patience. she's hidden in marshes that the elders claim weren't always there, especially since the marshes are the domain of another (Nish). only the most daring or the most idiotic make their way to her. there's stories of her either cursing or blessing passerbys with knowledge, if they stay with her a kind little while. she kind of reminds me of a kelpie

going off of some slavic folk stories i know, a lot of iteractions with them revolves around being kind and hospitable. if one brings them offering of food (bread and salt is most appreciated since in my culture that is a way to welcome your guests!!!! :D) and is nice to them, they ought to repay the favor. if given gold and one is rude with them, they are gon either curse the beggar in some Folk™ way or just strike them down right then and there

Moon's domain used to be more or less plains with shores and bushes but because of Things like in canon RW shit went down. with time her place changed into a marsh and when it did, Nish found out about her condition since he just knows whats up in his own domain. purposing a little energetic glowing dragonfly, he sent his beautiful daughter (-cough- Hunter, she's pretty to me ok -cough-) to guide and protect the dragonfly all the way to Moon. Nish himself i'm thinkin would have similar stuff going on like a vodník (waterman??? lil green man that collects souls in cups) combined with the slavic deity Živa (goddess of life and spring, život translates to life)

oh! and neurons for Moon and Pebs are fireflies and for Nish they are dragonflies!

Suns i GUESS could be something like Poludnica. a guardian being of the holiness of midday (poludnie means midday so u can see the connection!). i remember some stories about how if one would work in the fields during midday, a beautiful woman would appear in the tall grass and tempt them to come to her. once close, it'd be revealed that she's actually quite an ugly old thing and then would kill the guy cuz of course what else this is Folklore

#Spot says stuff #i always liked the concept of Poludnice #its like. 'you go take a fucking break RIGHT NOW or you will be KILLED' talk about ominous positivity with a question mark

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sharonisthebettercarter · 9 months

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comics inspired butchlander ideas<3

so.

guess who got inspired~<3 after readin' that loveable trainwreck known as the boys~<3<3<3

it's the original verse that started all the bullshit and definitely worth the read and messages being discussed and it's definitely not any worse or even as bad as the show is 'edge'wise (def got surpassed there!). plus it really does feel like its own secret playbook/au for the show with some unique insight on the characters and story lmao<3 may also do a bit of concept breakdown idk

heads up! long long post ahead butt~ i'll split this into segments with some bold and <3<3<3 highlighting each idea<3

butt~ full disclosure~<3...

they abso-fuckin'-lutely~ confirm billy butcher as the biggest fuckin' bottom of the entire series<3<3<3 the bratty bossy baby type (with a soft boi side~!) who even is THE GUY who confirms homelander's canonically huge dong~<3! and even just spiritually, I CANNOT<3<3<3 (if i don't fuckin' count the lovely show boi un-fuckin'-ironically calling himself an alpha male and how gotdamn CUTE that motherfucker who plays him is. FUCKING MAN PUPPY with them big ass wide pretty eyes and adorable nose and perfect second trimester belly when he gains just a little bit of chub<3<3<3)

i don't much imagine the actors/actresses *directly* anyhow when i write/read (kinda some features i may like do stay, but i do LOVE to play with them sometimes, some comic features generally tend to stick (namely muscle cause i need it), and moar often am picturing some kind of 3d/actor/comic amalgamation in wolf among us (game) style cause i'm weird i guess) who knows, maybe i might pick up a pen and actually draw what's in my head for once even tho its been goddamn years--

and boi oh fuckin' boi did these things gimme some fantastic au ideas, combined and separate cause why the fuck not~<3 we can always do BOTH (as i normally do anyway lol) ;))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

anywho~<3

visceral reactions to being bad for homie<3<3<3

listen.

so this shit was an INSTANT creative boner for me y'all that i CANNOT for the life of me figure out why people wouldn't wanna further explore this! like holy fuck, i know how much bad~<3 homie is dearly loved, but what about fix-its and GOOD~<3 homie (no i do not mean superman but we're gonna dive a bit into that lore), or. OR. get this... homie who is good but for the WRONG reasons~<3<3<3 ;)))))))))))))))))))

like~ wanting to genuinely be the best fucking hero out of 'vindictive personal glory and pettiness'~<3<3<3 or simply because he literally 'cannot be bad' without reacting!<3<3<3

for a breakdown, in the comics, homie is gaslit into oblivion into thinking he is and then being bad (sort of an 'i think, therefore i am' evolving into 'i can, therefore i must' complex) and there's pretty much a build up to reveal he was never actually the 'villain' he was painted as from the start. (spoiler alert, butcher is much fucking worse) part of that includes him having visceral reactions to doing truly evil things he full well knows are legit evil

whether a mental breakdown, some mirror~ talk, or even him actually throwing up, the boi legit had a bodily *rejection* to evil and i just...

i couldn't help thinkin', well what if he *knew* it wasn't him because of this reaction, and he couldn't be gaslit... opens up a new can o worms, don't it~<3

just imagine the chaos to be had with this poor boi having to lose his goddamn lunch everytime he either does a bad mission for vought or is just fuckin' mean or lies to someone<3 it'd be fucking GLORIOUS<3!

imagine~<3 butcher getting 'infected' with homelander's peculiar 'affliction' thinking he's caught that 'raging case a vagina' only for it to turn out to be a 'raging case a morning sickness' for poor billy boo~<3<3<3

but beyond that, there are a couple lines that play in my head for his interactions with butcher and how he could take being accused given his... well, alibi lmao! things like~

"why don't you like me? everyone likes me."

"no, i think i'll just... continue to do the right thing. i love how much it grates you when people have a legitimate reason to adore me and especially when they cheer for me."

and my personal favorite~<3

"i'm the real hero. die mad about it."

because who doesn't love a sassy fine boi~<3<3<3!!

anywho~, this actually leads into the next bit which was actually an idea i had learning about the comics even before reading them. i have seen it played with somewhat?? though not really quite like this or in this capacity. BUTT~<3

detective husbands<3<3<3

or not quite there but getting there lol. this one definitely requires a key plot point from the comic in which homie was framed for what happened to becky (and others), but can still be combined with show elements or relate back to the show. the difference being that he is fully aware that he didn't do it and wants to find out, even help butcher know, who done it...

clone games are of course an option there, but i'm actually surprised that no one's thought about using doppleganger as the rapist. we know he can morph into anyone and is already an undercover rapist for vought's blackmailing, it's really not all that far fetched to consider he might end up taking certain 'looks' for joy rides and doing awful things to scared people. i for one think doppleganger is actually a great character for exploration and story twists, butt i digress

basically, this idea hinges on homelander *not* being the true culprit and offering to help~<3 it can also absolutely be combined with the last one<3<3 and even moar~<3<3<3

but mostly, i do love me that delectable idea of these two motherfuckers working together to figure out the truth~<3 and homie being the BEST worst soldier that butcher could ever possibly ask for. technically, homie can still be a huge dumpster fire for this as long as he didn't commit *this* specific crime, even different levels of trash fire, or clean as a whistle~<3

maybe with a dropped quote from marcus aurelius~<3 to help things along--"punish only he who has committed the crime."

so long as butcher finds him useful (OH--), homie's pretty much a shoo-in for the group shenanigans, he could be another vas but stronger~<3<3<3

aaaaaand~ since i mentioned it

clone games and shadow homie<3<3<3

clones are an obvious oldie, but a goodie i think. i also think they give lots of different people mixed feelings. it can for sure feel corny and overplayed (especially in the comics genre which lmao, let's be honest is a fuckin' cornfest in general), but can also be pretty cool and interesting, even thought provoking when done well.

side note~ i do think it was done well in the comic, if you go in knowing what to expect (and i honestly expected worse), you see the signs and build up even from very early in the comics. (also billy wut the fuck you stupid stupid entrapping clone accomplice cunt, how the fuck could you not be the slightest bit suspicious when a mountain of clearly very STAGED photos falls into your lap?? oh that's right motherfucker, ya don't actually care whether people are guilty or not as long as they're supes--)

but the abruptness in the way it changes the dynamic and understanding in what's actually occurred can give whiplash. it makes you realize just how tragic homelander's situation really is and then fully robs you of any enjoyment of his death because it is just that fucked up. start to end, you realize he never had a life of his own... and that's... that fuckin' hits. HARD.

in addition to unveiling that the story has been following its biggest villain the whole time, the themes are flipped entirely on its head, suddenly the *people* who were villainized and getting taken down are the ones who need saving and ooooooh... it fuckin' hurts, but it is VERY well done. especially when you realize that the story LAID THIS OUT from the very beginning~!

ugh, enough of that concept breakdown lmao.

basically clones are gonna be hit or miss for lots a folks, tho i do think it stems more from misunderstanding/bad stories and post hoc association, granted it can be an easy concept to fuck up (but also make flourish)

butt~ what about fanfic~<3?

OH. i see the opportunity~<3 and i am once again so disappoint no one else is gettin' creative! obviously, this one does hinge a bit more on the comic, but it can connect~<3 (can't do both~?;)))))))

the clone is.... well, there's a small part of me (micro~) that i must admit does feel kinda bad for him. in the same way i feel bad for the joker. in which this motherfucker is literally, legitimately, completely fucking insane?? and it's well... it's *difficult* to plainly judge a very broken mind as you would a 'normie'. (stiiiiiiil fuckin' hate 'em)

and in a way, i get it. to be *made* for one fucking purpose and then denied fulfilling it puts a mind in a fucked up place. he actually sorta mirrored homelander. both created for purpose, but while one was expected to meet a standard he was *not* prepared for, the other *was* prepared for his standard, and then denied the chance to meet it.

and there's a lot that can be explored there just between homie and the clone. especially if the clone *tells* him early on. ;) twin bros is also technically an option which i'll get to with shadowlander~<3 (which is not *quite* a twin)

butt. when it comes to clones, something that does often get explored is rapid deterioration of them or them coming out 'wrong' from damaged DNA. there's a whole somethin' there to be explored with an OG homie and a deteriorating clone or possibly more than one clone, cause why not? in the comics, his clone was an 'upgrade', but what if he hadn't been? better yet, what if they failed multiple times? what if the mental breakdown and subsequent framing of homie was the result of the physical and mental deterioration?

the deterioration itself could have even been a contingency plan to their original contingency plan (which honestly, TOTAL amateur move not to have one... BATMAN would have thought of one!) and these themes could be explored to bittersweet effect or even just sweet if the clone *does* tell him, and they work things out/team up against vought<3

combine the two (deterioration/team up) for a super tragic bittersweet feel that could even revolve around homie saving/failing his clone/brother/only friend... </3

OUCH.

moving on~ multiple clones because they all deteriorate rapidly. now THIS is a fuckin' fire starter... especially if the REAL homie is the one to never see the light of day, specifically because they *can't* make the contingency plan.

and here's where it gets REAL fun~<3 in this case, OG homie never sees light of day. one of the clones does commit the crime since they're all crazy *almost*, but the clones themselves keep dying, and public sometimes trashfire homie is a new clone every time and has many many many many doomsday arcs that he seemingly *recovers* from every time (new clone, who dis?... LMAO PERFECT. title right there!), vought changes things up.

public homie is the clones, he is always the clones. og homie (johnny boi~<3) becomes their contingency (assassin~) when needed since he is the only perfect one and he is very *very* well trained (as a weapon). (this can also super play into homie's anxiety for why they kept him behind the scenes too, noir can be show noir~<3, bit of role reversal actually)

kicker being when billy either *sees* og homie killing one of the clones, or has one of the deteriorating clones *literally* die and deteriorate/dissolve on top/in front of him as it's trying to kill him. it could even be one of the saner/good clones (or one that discovers homie) who finds and sends the pictures (of another clone, comic) to try get the boys to freee the real homie and stop vought

because i LOVE the idea of big dumb animal completely unused to human interaction homie coming under billy's wing, and billy definitely DEFINITELY abusing his trust and planning to use him as a weapon before~<3 well... let's just say that homie's story, general innocence (here), and need for comfort could do *things* to billy's cold dead heart<3

that one can also be combined with visceral reactions. and this homie would likely have never been with another person~<3 (what a cutie~!)

the a/b/o wrench could def be thrown in there in a special way too (thrown in like normal every other time~<3 the world def needs more omega butcher<3<3<3) but for the clones, they're all made betas/ pseudo or normal alphas while homie...

is a very rare type of prime (mmmmhmmm~<3 lol) or true alpha deemed too dangerous for society (bullshit of course, but omegas would likely be very common in this world and run things, alphas like homie would be killed at birth ordinarily, and the clones deteriorating could be explained by the tampered dna to make them 'normal'.)

i do also adore the idea that only a prime/true alpha can get a male omega pregnant for this kinda world setting~<3 (or even that they can get other normal *alphas* pregnant/bitch them) and that of course is an idea that can be used for any canon/au, show or comic.

how crazy would it be for billy to discover homie is an actual alpha and then use it against him to destroy his rep/turn people against him? it would be very on point, and could also result in an arranged bonding situation to *tame the dangerous alpha* with a *calm and rational omega*, guess who i have in mind~<3<3<3 ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

of course, homie's super sperm is still always an option because i love mpreg and bitching~<3<3<3

back to the topic. shadowlander/twins. twins are pretty self explanitory and of course, ideas can be combined. basically there were two and one got treated way way different. one or both finding out could either cause hella resentment, or these bois teaming up~<3<3<3

shadow homie... is a bit more complicated? and sparked from wanting the 'clone' framing situation AND show noir~<3 in which homie has a power he has no clue about because he has a literal dark side that can separate from his body. likely a manifestation that protected him when he was young (i love those imaginary friend type powers<3) that grew to be something... moar (and terrifying)

this kinda goes similar to the concept of mirrorlander and homie having DID, but a little different and more accurate to what's actually going on (on the show based on interview, and a little more respectful i do hope. DID is commonly used in explorations of duality and 'evil dangerous dark side' but it doesn't quite... help with common misconceptions about the disorder. just my two cents, if i were gonna explore this, i'd wanna flip it with a good personality that legit cockblocks homie every time he tries to do bad and is fighting for control/is the one causing visceral reactions to evil~<3)

but back to shadowhomie. basically, when homie was little, his literal powers created this demon to protect him. BUTT, as homie grew to no longer need him, he was caged up. and locked away. and forgotten. never a good combo and bound to cause issue~<3

so what happens? well, he has a 'clone' as this thing... developed. but he doesn't know it. shadow lander would likely hold everything dark about homie, in essence a literal manifestation of what his trauma created in him being *expelled* from his body and if not protecting him... well...

this kinda thing could also fuck around with homie's powers and make them act up a bit weirdly, maybe split what power he does or doesn't have/make them inconsistent, shadowlander splitting from him and not being with him could also be an explanation for homie's visceral reactions~<3 (full circle~<3)

but with this scenario, homie's not the culprit, but also... he is the culprit. but also not. yesn't.

i've always loved exploration in duality, and i like the idea of that side being able to fully separate, because it makes for great complexities and creative freedom. including giving homie his own doomsday arc~! (if you are unfamiliar with superman lore, i basically mean homie will end up fighting his dark side and ''''''dying''''''<3)

and that battle could be spectacular on its own when you consider that as a 'part' of homie, shadowlander could end up 'linked' to him. one gets hurt, the other does too. which always makes for... interesting fights. or since homie is the OG, it only works one way in which shadow homie gets hurt, but he wont, but maybe shadow homie is stronger overall to counterbalance it.

end result would be a struggle to 'reabsorb'/'kill' shadow homie, and to tie it back into the doomsday arc, billy could end up super fucking sad and depressed post '''''death''''' battle after a whole ass journey realizing 'oh shit, homie's *not* the bad guy' and also 'oh shit, i think i fell in love with him when i tripped, fell, and landed on his dick'... perhaps unknowingly with a little one on the way~<3<3<3 ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

twin works in place of shadowlander like the original clone too.

last thing i'll say is that i'm actually surprised they haven't used the clone option in the show given they have antony starr as homelander (*coughs in outrageous fortune* lmao). he's a guy who coulda pulled it off with flying colors and it honestly has me wondering if they may have a plan for a clone being made/used for the finale but a bit differently

MOVING ON~<3!

assassin homie and the boi who LEARNS<3<3<3

assassin homie is a fun one~<3

let's start with the 'boi who LEARNS'<3 what does that even mean? well, basically it means homie discovers he was gaslit and framed before shit hits the fan, and that he has a clone as a contingency plan... so what does he do~?

welp, couple options there between straight up murder/assassination~, getting people fired or getting them to resign, he basically takes out every single last person who *can* give the order for the clone to destroy him--

so that there's no one left who *can* give the order...

the result?

well, in someone as fucking unstable as the clone, this could cause a self destruct, he would implode/explode/everything inbetween. but ultimately be likely to destroy himself faced with a situation where he can never meet the objective he was made to meet. it's almost cruel, but it's basically a checkmate from homelander where he personally dismantles vought and gets the clone to destroy itself with minimal effort.

oooh~<3 scary and exhilarating<3<3<3

couple paths from there, either homie fucks off to be alone, total supe anarchy chaos without vought and he's around, or he takes full control of what's left of vought and OOOOHHHH~<3 OPTIONS~<3!

butt~ the fact of the matter would definitely fuck billy's (comic) plans to oblivion since... well, the boys could just go to homelander to stop him<3<3<3 if billy is stupid enough to actually try to follow through that is<3 or leave billy in a... peculiar spot.

he'd probably be there expecting a big final fight with homelander, and instead he'd get the clone destroying itself, homie was actually not guilty the whole time, and he doesn't even lift a finger to get the job done that billy had been trying to do for over a fucking decade.

"that's gotta sting..."

it also deals with a moar dangerous~<3 homie that actually uses that big brain and high iq of his<3<3<3

but with the options it does leave, there are certainly windows for... futures<3 lmao, brighter or darker actually.

something like this could make billy totally lose his drive and obsession even if homelander goes full tyrant on vought scraps because not only was he wrong, he didn't even manage to get the revenge he wanted. everything he claimed was for becky/becca (while knowing she would hate it) was pretty much for nothing in the end.

homelander could either make himself a 'villain' for billy just to snap him out of it, or even (while tyranting) implement changes that are good/more strict for vought superheros and come to check on billy.

things could even be unbearably NORMAL and they fall in love like the world's most boring average couple ever since its all over<3<3<3 (love me some vanilla shit and marshmallow billy boo<3 his canon submissiveness for people he loves his adorable<3<3<3)

it works similarly in reverse too, where homie fucks off and tells the world to fuck off since he's lost hope after that bullshit, and billy (begrudgingly) has to finally, FINALLY fucking swallow his pride and convince homie to come help them clean up/chaos is happening/major threats on the horizon they need homie for~<3<3<3

and homie OF COURSE<3 being stubborn<3 as billy tries to make him see reason that the world is worth protecting... maybe inadvertently doing so when they start banging and homelander gets billy boo up the duff~<3<3<3

but going back to assassin~<3 homie. i kinda like the idea of him apprehending and intercepting the supes the boys go after, even doing the jobs more efficiently than they could depending on scenario of course. 'making the boys obsolete' homie is another creative boner of mine and he is gorgeous~<3<3<3

but of course. not the only method. there's also the one who goes after billy~<3

of course, he'd need to get stopped and put on some kind of truce with him for butchlander, but then it can absolutely go back to him making the boys 'obsolete' to get rid of them<3 love me some dangerous predator homie<3<3<3

fact is, the boys has the 'hunted' taking aim at the 'hunter', classic trope, but it makes for some magical cat and mouse games~<3 assassin homie dials up his danger and discretion up to 1100 for sure. and there is A LOT that can be done with that<3<3<3

hate fucking<3<3<3

pretty self explanitory~<3

mostly, i just wanna drop that billy loving hate fucking is canon BOTH ways~<3<3<3 (gotta LOVE maeve taking control and his lazy lover ways~, can only IMAGINE what *show* raynor did to him<3<3<3) as is his submissive sweet bean marshmallow fluffy boi bottom tendencies when he falls in love like literally admits to becky being the first woman on top in the comic HE'S JUST SO FUCKING ADORABLE I--<3<3<3

butt. the boi is also super self destructive by habit for sure. he purposely, consistently, deliberately, bites off WAY fucking moar than he can chew for the explicit purpose of getting his ass handed to him. (literally how he meets becky. is his obvious death wish fucking showing yet)

and with a guy like homie?? he'd definitely *want* it to hurt hella bad and would definitely~ push for fighting turned into fucking... and getting overpowered each time<3

can of course be combined with other ideas~<3

the mud people/supe dilemma and compound V<3<3<3

this is just another canon dropping for both continuities. while not impossible for supes to sleep with humans... it IS portrayed as... *difficult*.

in the comics, it's more specific, but both the show and comic actually give examples of strength disparity being an issue and normal humans getting hurt. mm mentions what happens to the sex workers at herogasm, and that poor writer guy gets his dick snapped off.

the comics take it another step and show us people can and often do use drugs cut with V in order to be able to keep up, so to speak. (the only real thing to mention about v is that it comes in many more different forms in the comic that def could be explored<3)

but going back to the supe/human thing, i would wager that it (obviously) varies for supes for how *difficult* it is to maintain control when with humans. homelander obviously would be the top of that list.

and listen. y'all. i could not be fucking paid to miss an opportunity for the super dick. with great fucking *power* comes great *fucking* power LEMME TELL YA<3<3<3

if i have a chance to write about super dick, i won't miss it BECAUSE~<3

no refractory period~<3

super fucking stamina~<3<3<3

fingers, tongue, and dick can be VIBRATED with superspeed~<3<3<3<3<3<3

this motherfucker is the PERFECT<3 service top.

combined with that diamond shatting flesh destroying clencher atrocity out the back and i--.

ice princess, but worse.

lmao. the superman archetype ALWAYS tops. he just does. he needs to for the sake of his partner. it is a fact of life or you're doin' it wrong cause you have just missed the greatest golden opportunity for one HELL~<3<3<3 of a GOTDAMN GOOD fuckin' time that CANNOT be beat.

legit.

what a terrible tragedy and great disservice to miss out on this, i just... i couldn't. i would literally die. literally.

anywho~<3

"i quit" and early retirement<3<3<3

kinda self explanatory<3 again comes back to comics with them pics but can just deal with billy accusing homie however, whenever. tho the premise once again does come back to he *didn't* do it.

basically, the second the accussation comes out? homie... quits.

for an actual good reason too, or at least an attempt at good. (can just be homie being petty and hurt, works best if his record is spotless otherwise i think but also good if he's being extra extra petulant) but the good reason is him thinking he's lost time and hurt people, and not wanting to hurt anyone else/get to the bottom of things on his own if he doesn't think it was him for whatever reason.

as always lmao, can be tied back to others such as the visceral reactions, or idk, maybe the motherfucker actually has a hobby this time. it goes back to billy having to convince him to help instead<3<3<3

definitely love the world ending option here, maybe yellowstone is about to erupt or something and only homelander can stop it. i have an idea there that i will go into another time just to not add anymore tangents here. same goes for secret identity~<3 since that's more general<3

butt~<3

the other part of this is a homie who quit a long long time ago as soon as the first accusations (from others, not billy) started rolling in and fucked off to live a quiet life. it does tie in back to the clone shenanigans, multiple bad ones or one is fine. but this OG homie is an overpowered beast and--gentle giant<3.

basically, he's calm cause he has his 'girls' (milking animals lmao), a small farm, cabin by a lake, and is living a solitary life in peace as a mountain man (also inspired by starr's obsession with being a mountain man lmao). and maybe he's got hobbies, idk

however... billy, while going after the clone gets badly injured. that's where this mofo steps in. he could handle it then and there or the conflict is saved for later and he just helps billy, but either way, he takes billy back to his cabin and nurses him back to health. existensial crisis ensues~<3

possible fighting with billy demanding he handle the fucking clone if he hasn't and homie just being a... passive neutral bug. do love me the doc manhattan approach<3<3<3

there's something about rebuilding a lost hope superman/super powerful character that just makes me so happy<3

the real homie can also do other things like run a goddamn candy store or somethin, and the secret identity aspect can also def be used, maybe they're neighbors<3

maybe billy's been secretly getting railed by the retired asshole the whole goddamn time~<3<3<3

billy's final evil plan works?? and the "crossed" option<3<3<3

kinda. this one hinges back to comics (obviously, all these prompts are comic inspired lmao) with billy's worst idea ever actually succeeding, sorta, whether he skips to the finish line out of desperation or any of the above reasons or other keep homie alive, he succeeds in changing the landscape of the world.

and it backfires~<3

(tho if ya wanna go real depressing, he could actually succeed and they die in each others arms, do have to throw that one out)

butt anywho~<3 backfiring.

it can either kill all the normal humans, leaving only supes, or change a bunch of humans, kill some, and leave only supes.

it can also cause a legit zombie apocalypse. cause knowing billy... let's just be honest, it would. it absolutely would. and the zombies would function exactly like those in 'crossed' (another work by ennis i am hella interested in but fuck me they are expensive), congrats billy, you fucked the world!

in the 'crossed' crossover (lmao), supes could be immune and billy inadvertently makes homie the last best hope for human survival... and he can be a remarkably shitty one or he can actually be great or gradually learn~<3 but personally, it does seem poetic that billy would inadvertently create billions of what he was allegedly trying to destroy. that is monstrous humans with no humanity.

in a regular dystopia where people just died a lot, classic tropes from a/b/o come into play (arranged mating/population boost/control for butchlander anyone~?) and maybe even homelander being the only one who knows what billy did/tried to do and hiding the now most wanted man on earth (or maybe they do know and billy being an omega is the only thing that saves his life)

as always ideas can be combined goddammit fuck me i am tired this thing took me DAYS and if there is anything i've forgotten or want to add?

i will just make a goddamn part two (do plan for some show inspired ones too~!) or combine it with another set a prompts cause

holy fuck--

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clownhonkbonk · 2 months

Text

to any interested here are my reactions i remembered to write down for the magnus archives in it's entirety :3 it's not too many bUt this is what you get

the episode numbers are written with them!!

ft me trying to understand the story with a great deal of pain writing on my phone in my notes app mostly at 1 am

REACTIONS 👀

56 sub statment thinf w martin

avtually got tears in my eyes. i love you martin. i love you jon. im so happy he just went " avtually, im rather relieved " or whatever bc hell yes girl u are so unwell.

this show is so addicting.

OMG 28 DAYS LATER MENTION!!!! THE END IS EXTREMLY FUCJING NEIGH!!! not the reference but excited

spooky.

WAY too attached to them

only just skipped the add and " episode Fifty-Eight. Trail Rations" And immediately went " oh NO !! cannibalism :( " and the read the description like LMAOO everytime there's anything relating to food in this podcast i just go " oh no it's cannibalisim "

holy shit it's a woman cannibal, diversity WIN

WHAT THE FUCK I REALISED WHATS HAPPENING WHEN THEY'RE BOTH DEAD

benjamin wtf homie this is NOT good bedroom foreplay

ouuugg auch good writing.

i understand the possible cannibalisim thing now

YES JON OFC THEY R WORRIED ABT YOU YOU DUNBASS IM CRYING PLS

at lwast he doesn't think it's martin as much anymore ❓❓❓❓

i NEEEED to stop going through s1 animatics but QOW this fanvase is awesome i love all the designs.. i used to think martin and tim were the same person for a few episodes

honestly hell yeah tim. shout at jon for being weird. but also sike you can't leave.

insane.

ok im like halfway through this but like so for the deities / entities that r silly

we got

eyes, spider, diseases / insects ( though they maybe different ) and meat maybe???? maybe there's just three..

oh oh the guys r all core fears / most common fears, one extra is THE STRANGER OOOOoooOooooO

i love you martin for filling in n trying to take over for jon ur such a cutie

idk how much i believe that elias did it but like all evidence does point to that

actually love their lil dynamic. cuties.

103

OUUUGH JON WHAT THE FUCK DID U USE UR BRAIN POWERS ON HIM WTFFFFF

104

martin is getting spaceyyyyy uh oh.... be careful bb..

107

jon have you been DRUGGED?!?! (8:00)

jon bb mayb take a break you seem to be like having iron deficiency LMAOO

111

ok we got 14 whores of the universe

1 end - death

2 eyes

3 vertigo

4 the stranger

5 the spiral - madness

6 isolation - fear of being alone / seperated form ppl

7 burning/fire

8 the desolation

9 the slaughter violence

10 the web - also being manipulated

11 the vast

12 filth disease insexts

13 claustrophobia

14 darkness

the meat ❓❓❓

124

OUUUGH HE LITERALLY DITCHED THE RECORDING JUST TO RUN AFTER MARTIN the gays r getting to me

126

WHAT HTEH FUCKKK !>??!?!?!? !??

bro this is NOT therapy. bro ham lukas peter you dickwad what the fuuuuuuuuuuuck.

ISOLATION??????????????????????? WHY IS THE ISOLATION GOD POKING AT MARTIN ?!?!?!?!?!?!??! DICKWAD??!?!?! ?criyng asobbign why

i actually low key love lukas " dynamic duo " is sO funny sjkdjk

martin i miss u come back it;s not woRTH ITTTTTT

fuck i draw jon like trent crimm if he was a twig and gayer and green

131

i physically recalled at the start they've IMPROOOVED their aUDIO... fucking crazy.

also bitches be bitching ( jon AND melane )

honestly fuck yeah helen girl

133

girl is dealing wth SOOO much trauma poor girl........... jeez.

cannot stop thinkin about martin :(

i miss tim.

134

WOOOO MARTIN

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HE LEFT THE TAPES FOR JON WTF

the buried / cave

the end

the corruption / filth

the dark

the desolation

the eye

the flesh

the hunt

the lonely

the slaughter

the spiral

the stranger

the vast

the web

135

feeks like they're reading together but w a wall in the way which is sad

142

MARTIN PLEASADEEE

also jon what the fuck please don't be a dick this lovely lade lost her job and gained so much trauma.

143

jon stop using ur thing constantly on people it makes me worried for you and insanely pushes you to not being human.

jon i know she tried to hurt you both but ur being so mean, im WORRIED.

hell YES hellen

144

martin im still upset at you for going " why does no one tell me anything !!!! " while literally avoiding them and asking yhem not to talk to you!!! wtf broham.

anyway loving this story

145

gertrude what a girl holy cow<3

146

IM SO WORRIED ABT MARTIN AND JON GUUUUUUH WHAT THE FUCK.

150

jon u r so self destructive...

151

holy ahit simon fairchild..

154

what the fuck im sobbing what is this good omens bullshit i love it but im crying not really but like heartbreaking????

171

i don't know if jons gonna survive if he doesn't stop getting weird and weirder.

also adorable "is he your boyfriend?!"

" yes actually "

jon what the fuck w u n these flesh flowers

ok hi!! thst was the last one.:3

i didn't write down reactions for further episodes but if we can bring our attention to me writing at some point ( in early season 5 ) in my sketch book " 10 bets jon or martin dies at the end "

#tma spoilers #times a million.#tma #the magnus archives #sorry about the... crude language and insults. i was never once in my right mind 😔

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kagejima · 2 years

Note

Oh-kay so I just spent the last however much time catchin up on your blog from the last week and a half —cause I usually have your post notifs on but I’ve been not on here in a minute.

BUT all this to say that I’m thinkin bout some nsfw Ushi things and since Wakatoshi Wednesday is upon us I thought I’d share with ya

—so I guarantee it’s been though of before but it’s fine lmao

Wakatoshi who doesn’t really acknowledge the size difference between you at first, because most everyone’s smaller than him so yeah of course his new partner is smaller that’s not abnormal

Wakatoshi who doesn’t pay attention until Tendou meets his partner for the first time and makes some comment like “they’re so small compared to you!” and “jeez that’s quite the size difference” and “you’re careful with them right?” in a teasing tone as he’s wagging his eyebrows “knowingly”

Now it’s “knowingly” in quotations because y’all haven’t done anything yet because Ushijima is respectful and the relationship is still on the newer side

But Ushijima is slowly becoming more aware of how much smaller you are than him—he thinks it’s … cute? Thinks you’re adorable

And when he finally decides to put you between him and a flat surface, caging you against the wall, with Tendou’s words hot in the back of his mind he realizes just how small you are. Just how much he towers over you and how much bigger he is.

Ushijima who can lift you off the ground like its nothing, like you weigh nothing. Who can twist your body to his liking and have you hovering over his cock that you think won’t fit. Because you’ve been aware of how much bigger he is than you.

Ushijima who encourages you with soft kisses and praises calling you his “pretty baby” and “you’ll be good for me right?” but still pauses and checks in with “you okay baby?” and “it’s okay if you want to stop” as he splits you open on his cock.

Ushijima who can’t help but get even harder as you whine about how big he is inside of you. Who can’t help but feel pride swell in his chest when you complain about being “so full” and he’s not even bottomed out.

Ushijima who watches as your eyes glaze over and jaw goes slack when he does bottom out.

Ushijima who realizes maybe he has a thing for how small you are compared to him. Who uses you like his personal fleshlight, bouncing you up and down on his cock as he praises you “how cute you look taking all of me” “look so small in my arms baby” “look so adorable all stretched out around me” “so pretty when you cum for me, do it again baby?”

Ushijima who fucks you until your whole body goes limp and you can’t do anything but babble his name and about how big he is.

Ushijima who now, every time he’s reminded of how much smaller you are than him, has to refrain from picking you up and manhandling you into whatever position he deems fit at the moment to have you babbling about him all over again.

…anyways. THAT WAS WAY LONGER THAN I MEANT— it’s 2245 for me…I need to go to sleep smh

Hope you have a good day !! <33

KAZE!!!! KAZE???!!!?!??! KAZE!!!!!!!!!

KAZE, HELLO????? HELLO???????????

im sendING YOU MY FUNERAL BILLS BC THIS TOOK ME OUT.

MY SIZE KINK JUST GOT FED SO WELL ohmyFUCKINGGOD!!!!!!!!

YOU GOTTA COME TALK TO ME MORE OFTEN, OHMYFUCKING GOD!!!!!!! MY BRAIN IS BROKEN HOLY FUCKING SHIT nobody look at me right now i am exPERIENCING

also my apologies for having notifications for me and expecting quality stories and its just text post goblin nonsense LMAOOO NFJSNFNSN 🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️ also when did tumblr start doing that, i gotta start doing that for moots!!!!!!!

#🎶: here comes the queue #ushijima smut #😠: rae's wakatoshi wednesdays #rae's wakatoshi wednesday august 3 2022

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forabeatofadrum · 1 year

Text

My fic year in review, 2022

I saw @captain-aralias doing this and I thought “hey, this is fun!”. So cool that you (aralias, you are the you here) do this every year.

Fics I wrote:

Learn to let go (929, T, CrisTales)

A rip in time (68K, T, Doctor Who Universe)

Zimbits April Updates (2.7K; T; Check, Please!)

che col tuo lume mi levasti (63K, T, Simon Snow Series)

At last (801, G, Glee)

e pare stella che tramuti loco (29K, T, Simon Snow Series)

Wielded by the righteous (2K, G, Simon Snow Series)

The Naked Truth (15K, T, Simon Snow Series)

Call Me Maybe (12K, T, Simon Snow Series, with @captain-aralias)

Barking Up The Wrong Bakery (8.7K, T, Glee)

These numbers could be lucky for you (402, G, Glee)

Then maybe time would not erase me (2.7K, G, Julie and the Phantoms)

Thinkin' about us (377, G, Our Flag Means Death)

All I needed for another day (768; G; Love, Victor)

Ebb & Flow (29K, G, Glee)

Dalton 8 Days of Pride (2.8K, G, Dalton)

Dalton 8 Days of Wrath (WIP, T, Dalton)

I can't believe it IS butter (1.111, G, Simon Snow Series)

Time After Time (18K, T, Simon Snow Series)

The Moon fic (49, G, Glee)

Stage Fright (12K, T, Glee, with all the authors of the @gleefrankenfic)

aap noot mies (8K, G, Glee)

A Grimm Christmas (5K, G, Simon Snow Series)

So Much Better (12K, T, Glee)

There's nothing ironic about show choir (14K, T, Simon Snow Series)

Ljubim te (WIP, T, Glee)

Holy moly. This is... more than I thought. I also just found out that you can filter your statistics page by year, so I don’t have to grab my calculator. AO3 tells me I published 319,614 words this year! “Published”, because I have a lot of unfinished WIPs that I wrote for. Meanwhile, Paradiso 2 was written in 2021 and part of Paradiso 3 as well. I’ve been writing A rip in time since 2017 and also I wrote the beginnings of the alien!Blaine fic and Time After Time in 2018 and 2021.

All Glee fics are about Klaine. Almost all Simon Snow fics are about Snowbaz, with Call Me Maybe as the exception. That is a gen fic. Same goes for the Love, Victor one, the JATP one and the CrisTales one. The Dalton ones are multiships. The other two ships I wrote for are Zimbits (OMGCP) and Gentlebeard (OFMD).

Some questions under the cut. Aralias, these questions are really good.

Best/worst title?

The best titles are Time After Time, The Naked Truth and A Grimm Christmas in my opinion, and I cannot take credit for those. Christina @facewithoutheart came with Time After Time (my working title was “damn Baz, you live like this?”), Pati @aristocratic-otter came up with The Naked Truth and Jas @aroace-genderfluid-sheep came up with A Grimm Christmas.

If I gotta pick my own work, it’s I can’t believe it IS butter. Okay, and I kept laughing every time I wrote There’s nothing ironic about show choir, because Rachel’s delivery of that line would play in my head.

The worst is probably Thinkin’ about us. That was definitely a last minute title. I mean, it makes sense to me, but it makes no goddamn sense for this fic. I chose it since it’s the lyrics of Just A Dream (UH UH UH I WAS THINKIN’ ABOUT YOU, THINKIN’ ABOUT ME, THINKIN’ ABOUT US yada yada) which is a huge inside joke in the Dalton Discord, but this fic has absolutely nothing to do with Dalton and its Discord. The fic is about waking up from a dream, hence the shit connection, but yeah... not the best.

Best/worst summary?

I am not the best at writing summaries, mostly because I tend to forget about them until I am ready to post and I’m like “oh SHIT oh FUCK”, so the best? Hmmmm. @cerriddwenluna really helped me out with the aap noot mies and the Ebb & Flow ones. But alas, if I have to pick my own work, I think it’s Time After Time.

Simon Snow dies in the White Chapel, and Baz has to live an immortal life without him. Or so he thinks. Every twenty years, when the Veil lifts, Simon and Baz are able to reunite. Something is keeping Simon from moving on, and Baz doesn’t know if he wants to find out what that is, because it would mean letting go.

And if there’s one thing Baz can not do, it’s letting Simon go.

Simple and straight to the point. It introduces what the fic is about and it also introduces the main source of tension: Baz doesn’t want to let go of Simon. Drama ensues!

Worst:

And finally, the end.

This is from the Zimbits Update fic and it means absolutely nothing. That’s because these Updates fics are collections of drabbles, so each chapter has a summary of its own. But as a result, I always put my own commentary in the summary of the fic as a whole. It makes some sense if you read the series in one go, which is something a lot of people do (and it always brings me joy when I get an AO3 e-mail with kudos and it’s clear that someone went through it all), but on its own it is terrible.

I just refuse to write “I am bad at summaries” in the summaries. I at least gotta commit to the bit 😔✊.

Best/worst first line?

All my first and last lines are very short. I realised most of the fics start with a short line, then a larger line that really kicks of the story.

There seems to be one exception, which is the Bakery fic. That’s why I think that’s the best first line.

There are many decisions that have led Kurt Hummel to this dog bakery, but the biggest one was his decision to move to Los Angeles to become a dog party planner for influencers.

And worst.... Hmmm. Like I said, most of the first lines are very similar: short and not saying a lot. I don’t think the beginnings of my fics are bad, per sé, because all the opening paragraphs are a decent way to start a fic. I’m going with At Last, since that is a missing scene from Glee, so the fic jumps straight into a scene:

“But... But what?” Kurt asks, desperate to make some sense out of this situation.

Best/worst last line?

The best is probably The Naked Truth, once again because that one is longer than 10 words.

I put my pencil on the paper, I look over to Simon who’s already flexing his upper body, and I start to draw.

But yeah, I don’t think of first and last lines, but I think of beginnings and endings in a larger scale, like a paragraph or a chapter. But this one is nice and it also says something about what the fic’s about, unlike other last lines.

I picked the upcoming worst line since I apparently used it twice.

All is well.

Again, my last lines are very short and again it doesn’t mean they’re bad, but sometimes they are. Sometimes it’s clear I was looking for a quick line that felt fitting for any kind of ending. So this is the end of A rip in time and The Moon fic. (And I won’t be surprised if I have used it more).

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted?

Damn, I wrote a lot more than I thought. Over 300.000 words is insane, so yes, definitely more than I thought. I admit I don’t really plan my fics in advance. It’s changed a little bit since I started doing fests (more on that later), but most of the time I just start writing and I see when (or if) it sees the light of day.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?

Well, I couldn’t have written for Gentlebeard since the show didn’t exist last year, but jk jk. More seriously, I did write for three new fandoms: OFMD, JATP and CrisTales. And I got some returning ones (Dalton and Love, Victor).

The genre that completely threw me off was parenting fic or whatever you want to call it. I never even attempted a serious fic with any of my ships as parents. There have been kid OCs before (like, Julie for Klaine in the Myosotis series, or the unnamed twins for Zimbits in one fic that I can’t fucking remember right now), but I never wanted to do that, mostly because I don’t want kids myself so I never think about it.

And then my little Rosemary Snow happened. Maybe this is cheating, cause I did mention that I wrote part of Paradiso 3 in 2021, but oh MAN. OH MAN. How much love I have for this fictional child. If Simon and Baz are the dads, then I am the fairy godmother (who killed her biological parents oop-). She’s not real and yet I’d die for her. And not only is this a fic with a kid, but also it delves deep into adoption, another topic that I swore I’d never delve into. Alas, here we are.

Oh, and I wrote my first Main Character Death with Time After Time, but Simon is still constantly present in the fic as a Visitor.

What’s your favourite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.

Paradiso series. And yes, I know, I wrote all of Paradiso 1 and 2 in 2021 and part of Paradiso 3 in 2021 as well, but I loved it. I had so much fucking fun.

I often say that Paradiso 1 is the amazing eldest child, Paradiso 2 is the awkward middle child and Paradiso 3 is the surprise youngest child. What I mean by this is that Paradiso 1 is probably the best and maybe I should’ve ended it there, but I wanted to continue so badly that I wrote Paradiso 2. Could that fic have been better? Definitely. I think it is quite messy. But I love it nevertheless and it still introduced a lot of cool things. Paradiso 3 was even more unplanned and since it took me on a journey, it was a surprise.

Okay, NOW your most popular story.

Everyone say “Thank you AO3!”

I usually don’t pay attention to my stats. I have no clue if something is popular because a) most of the time I do not know how many kudos etc. a fic has and b) even if I do have a vague idea of it, I don’t know what constitutes as “popular” in the grand scheme of things. I do sometimes associate one person with a fic and even if that one person was the only one loving it, I’d be happy.

So thank you AO3 for this goddamn great statistics page. Now, I do peek here maybe once a year, just out of curiosity (I think I may have made annual posts about that) and god this page is a godsend for having all the information in one place.

Here are the hits:

Note that a lot of people who read A rip in time read it in the beginning of when I started posting (2018). All the others got posted in 2022 only. Oh, well, Paradiso started posting mid-December 2021, but most of it was posted in 2022.

Kudos:

Same story here. I filtered the results on 2022, but since A rip in time did post in 2022, it is an outlier, like spider georg.

Comments:

Bookmarks:

And here again. If we disregard A rip in time, it seems like Time After Time is the most popular. Damn Baz, you live like this?

Story most underappreciated by the universe?

Call Me Maybe. Call Me Maybe! God, @captain-aralias already mentioned it, but yes, I totally agree that Call Me Maybe is the most underappreciated. And I know why. It isn’t a shippy fic. It’s a gen fic about Agatha, and Simon and Baz only make a “cameo” in the actual fic.

But I put my heart and soul in this fic. I projected on Agatha like a boss. I even tried to rickroll the fandom!

And this was the only time I was aware of it not being popular. Like I wrote above, I have two reasons that I am usually ignorant of how well my fics are doing. I don’t care. Yes, I’d like people to read my stuff. I always use the cake analogy. If someone spends hours baking a cake and no one eats it, then even when the baking process was fun, it stings. But even then, since I do not actively track my stats and I don’t look at other people’s stats either. I remain blisfully ignorant and I find that very freeing.

But this fic was part of a fest. All the fics of that fest were put together in one AO3 collection. And that made it very easy to see how this fic was not getting the hits that others did. It took a long time before this fic even got 100 hits, while others already had over 400 or so. When it hit 100, I was very emotional. I knew it wasn’t going to be as popular, since this isn’t a Snowbaz fic, but man. There were some huge differences.

Now, honestly, the most important thing to me was that @captain-aralias liked it, which she did. I am so happy she liked it. Even her comments in her 2022 review page make me feel warm and fuzzy and happy. But I also wished more people had the chance to like it as well.

I’ve talked about my approach to stats etc. several times with people. There I also said that no matter how true it is that 99% I do not care, there is also the 1%. I think every writer, even “chill” ones like me, is prone to some anxiety or disheartened feelings at one point about stats and Call Me Maybe was my fic for that situation. I just really, really wanted people to read it. I still do. I haven’t checked the stats ever since it hit 100 hits, since that was the milestone I had in mind when I realised Call Me Maybe was falling behind, and it happened, but I wouldn’t mind more people reading it.

Story that could have been better?

Without a doubt, it’s Ebb & Flow. It’s just messy. Even more messy than Paradiso 2. (Not as messy as A rip in time, though, but the whole idea behind A rip in time is that it’s kinda bad anyway, which is why I love it.) (If you love the Doctor Who universe, and mess, A rip in time is the fic for you!).

Or well, at least I think Ebb & Flow is messy. It had a beginning with a lot of info-dumping, a wacky middle where too much was going on, and a good ending that is only that good because I was inspired by another fic. It’s because I had a story to tell, but I also wanted to nerd out about Splatoon 2. Do I regret the nerding out? No, not at all, but it made it a bit messy, especially for people who do not know Splatoon 2 (I did provide a glossary, but still). Besides, the Big Sad of the story is that Burt is dead and I am not sure if I like how I handled the grief. @thnxforknowingme told me it’s fine, which was reassuring, but every time I reread Ebb & Flow, I have to stop myself from skipping to the last few chapters cause that’s the good stuff.

Sexiest story?

Gotta pass. Would you believe it when I say T-rated The Naked Truth is the most steamy I ever wrote? All because they were undressing each other! (Well, okay, look, Simon was naked for a lot of the fic but in relation to his relation with Baz, it’s only a scene where they start to take off to undress). I used the word dick for the first time! Wooooh!

Although I think an upcoming chapter of Ljubim te might surpass it. Not too big. I don’t think I’ll ever write E (or M. I gotta see how it goes with Ljubim te.)

Saddest story?

Time After Time. I mean, it’s MCD. I made people cry! Even though Simon is still constantly in the fic, he’s Capital D Dead as in No Amount of Magic Can Bring Simon Back kind of dead.

And on a personal note, Paradiso 3 was incredibly emotional for me, as an adopted person, to write.

Most fun?

Probably I can’t believe it IS butter. I want to write more of the Butter Saga, where Simon marvels over all the forms of butter!

Just... the image of Simon carrying butter packets with him everywhere, so that he can gnaw on them. I love this guy. I kept laughing throughout the entire writing process and I loved that I got to share it with the CO Discord, since the idea came from there.

Oh, and as a Glee fan, I absolutely loved There’s nothing ironic about show choir. I really tried to capture the crazy Glee dramatics for this fic and Simon and Baz’s feud. Ruta and Vitis forever!

Story with single sweetest moment?

Not to toot my own horn, but I am obsessed with this line from The Naked Truth:

Again, there’s so much laughter.

Is this what love is like? Endless exuberant laughter? I revel in the sound of his joy.

I mean, pretty swell for an aroace gal.

And I also got the comment that Time After Time is utterly romantic in its own way, and I have to agree, even though Simon is super dead.

Hardest story to write?

Ebb & Flow. It’s the unfortunate truth that I hated writing this fic. I complained constantly about it here and on The Lima Bean Discord. I don’t want to put it so crassly (”I hated writing that!”), because it was a fest so I wasn’t the only person involved, but it’s just what happened. I loved the prompt. I fucking ADORE the art that was created for it, but the writing.... Oh honey.

I got stuck a lot. Getting stuck isn’t new, but this was my first fest and it was nerve wrecking. I’ll get more into that later. But this led to this extra pressure and that only made the existing bad feelings even worse. Basically, when I ended it, I was so fucking done I couldn’t look at it, since it just made me anxious. I normally write and then polish my work before posting, but here I didn’t want to dwell on this fic. The day before posting day, I finally opened the document after 2 weeks (I think?) to do some final edits and that was it.

This also goes back to the whole “story that could have been better” answer. Is Ebb & Flow truly that messy, or am I just projecting my negative feelings on it? I did talk with some others about how I started to like Ebb & Flow after I got positive feedback, and how that also motivates me to comment more. The comments I got on that fic make my day and I admit I am surprised every time I get a positive one. Not that I expected negative ones, but I don’t know... I just didn’t like it.

I do now. Don’t get me wrong. I like Ebb & Flow since the people in this fandom really lifted me up, but I still think it could’ve been better. But I like it. It’s on my mind a lot, mostly because I am listening to a lot of Splatoon music and of course, Splatoon 3 has been released. Hmmm, maybe I’ll write that sequel one day (*wink wink nudge nudge* @cerriddwenluna).

Easiest/most fun story to write?

Barking Up The Wrong Bakery. I actually wrote Bakery fic to counter all the bad feelings that arose while writing Ebb & Flow. Instead of polishing up Ebb & Flow, as I should’ve done, I went head first into Bakery fic.

I even made a meme about it:

It was just so much fun. The whole idea of this fic was letting go of trying too hard and it was so worth it. And I had Cooper as a cartoon villain of sorts. I have more to say about it later, but crack is very relaxing to write.

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

Call Me Maybe definitely was a huge thing. I had written an Agatha saga in 2021, but I still think Call Me Maybe was the first time I gave Agatha the love she needs. And, yes, yes, projection on characters. You know how it is.

After Wayward Son, I was really rooting for aroace Agatha. So much that after I first finished AWTWB I was clinging onto the fact that Niamh wasn’t mentioned in the epilogue. As in “yes, yes, they kissed in the book but that doesn’t mean they actually end up together, Agatha can still realise this isn’t what she wants either!”. I came around because I too am obsessed with Niamh. If I weren’t aroace and if Niamh Brody weren’t fictional I’d also ask her hand in marriage. If Agga doesn’t want her, then I want her!

So yeah. Niamh Brody, amirite?

But still, I liked the idea of exploring the big What If. Originally, Call Me Maybe started out as Agatha realising she likes girls since she gets a crush on Penelope. @captain-aralias already wrote in the original CO WIP Adoption Fest fic that she was also fine with it being a friendship fic between Agga and Penny. I shifted the crush part from Penny to Ginger. I tried that for a while, which is why the beginning of what I’ve written is more about Agga having Feelings and Thoughts when she’s around Ginger.

But I suppose Ginger isn’t Niamh. I realised I wasn’t vibing with it at all. I already have issues with writing characters who fall in love because my aroace ass has no clue what that is. So I messaged Aralias again to tell her it was going to be an aroace!Agatha fic and I realised that I could use the Feelings and Thoughts from the beginning for that reason as well. Yes, she has Feelings and Thoughts about Ginger, but it’s not romantic and that bothers Agga, because she doesn’t know why she can’t just fall for her. As a result, I had to let go of the more flirty playful Agatha from AWTWB, but I worked out. So maybe it wasn’t a change in perspective, since I already had aroace!Agatha in mind after WS, but more a “coming back to that perspective”, after AWTWB changed it up.

Most overdue story?

A rip in time. I mean, I started writing it in 2017 and I started posting it in 2018. I felt incredibly empty when I finally finished it, but it was time. I knew I wanted to finish it before 13 regenerated, so I did.

God.

What a ride this was, though.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

Oh, yes, definitely. There are probably two big risks and one smaller risk.

The smaller one is that I branched out to new fandoms, but honestly, that isn’t super new. I also wrote fic for other fandoms in previous years. It’s just true that Glee/Simon Snow/Check, Please! are my go-to’s, even though I only wrote one Check, Please! fic this year.

The bigger ones are:

1. I participated in collaborative fests and challenges. I have been doing the Klaine Advent since 2015 and I’ve written for some other challenges, but this is the first year I collaborated. Call Me Maybe and Stage Fright are the only ones that I co-wrote, but the other collaborative fests are still collaborative in my eyes, because I wrote other people’s prompts or other people made stuff for the fic. But yeah, I had the 321 Klaine Reverse Bang, and the CO WIP Adoption Fest, and the Glee Frankenfic, and of course the latest Klaine Secret Santa. And oooooh boy, it was nerve wrecking. Not gonna lie there. I usually live by the “I write for me and ME alone” principle, and that obviously does not apply when you’re working with someone else. There have been moments where I was so nervous. I was constantly hoping that the others would like it, especially with So Much Better, because that was a holiday gift! I remember fistbumping the air when I got the news that I could use Legally Blonde for that fic. Sometimes that had negative consequences (yeah, again, Ebb & Flow), but I learnt a lot. I do think I ought to tone it down. I wrote a lot about my girlboss situation, which was basically that I took on too many challenges etc. and that I was girlbossing too close to the sun. I am just genuinely excited and I want to encourage people in the fandom to make more challenges, but woooh, maybe I gotta tone it down.

2. I wrote a surprising amount of cracky fics. Bakery fic, The Moon fic, Thinkin’ about us, Butter fic, aap noot mies, There’s nothing ironic about show choir... Heck, I still have the WIPs Hold on to that feeling and Just Some Guy. I started both this year and those are also cracky. I made Baz a Klainer 12! Check, Please!’s John Johnson is here! I usually write angst and serious stuff, like mental health issues, grief, broken friendships, internalised homophobia, questioning identity etc., so this was a huge departure. Not to say I’ve never written crack. The fic where Jack and Bitty almost adopt a donkey on the Sims 4 is a thing. But I didn’t see it as a genre that I write often enought to say that it’s a genre I write. Man, Bakery fic did me a lot of good, because I had a fucking blast writing all the crack stuff. I kept laughing a lot while writing the stuff and I am happy being also found it cracky. Kissy kissy smooch smooch! BONK!

This year’s theme and the story that demonstrates it most:

Kinda what I wrote above: crack and collabs. I don’t know if there’s one specific story that demonstrates it. None of the collab fics are the cracky fics. Although that being said, I shared a lot about writing the cracky fics, since I obviously didn’t have to keep that a secret until a post date. As a result, I did get fun feedback while writing it. I already made a mushy post a few weeks earlier about how I am so happy that fandom exists and yeah, yeah I am happy it exists.

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

please for the love of god let me finish my fucking zimbits fics oh GOD

This is a long post so if you made it to this spot, hi! Since it’s a long post, I wrote some little drafts for each answer and the sentence above is the draft for this one. Because yes, please, let me finish the two Zimbits fics that I’ve been writing since 2019. They aren’t my oldest WIPs, but I want to write Zimbits again because I miss these characters.

I don’t know when I’ll get to it, though. I currently have one WIP on AO3, which is Ljubim te, my Klaine Advent 2022 fic. I don’t feel rushed to finish it. After all, I finished my 2019 Advent fic in October 2020, but I want to finish it. And I really want to wrap up my CO textfic. I got very far into that fic, but then I put it away to focus on the fests and challenges that did have a deadline.

I‘ve also been thinking about bullet point fics/fic where the author just writes it down as “notes”. There are two big AUs that have been on my mind for a while, namely the Sarah Jane Adventures Extended Universe (SJAE, since 2017) and the Glee/Sense8 crossover (since 2020) and since these two are basically a collection of ideas, maybe it’s possible. I’ve never made a bullet point fic/”notebook fic” (no idea if that is an actual term), but I have read them.

Apart from that, I’ll see.

#..... this got LONG #i just have a lot to say #My posts #story extras

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