#i am simply saying that i personally have spent far too long being the idea of a person. the mask of one

[soldier-poet-king]

I need to be weirder. I need to hang out/talk with more intensely weird and deeply genuine people, and more frequently

#franposting #apropos of me being weirder and more terrible and more honest lately #and it feels. good? mentally clearer. more at peace #this isnt some oh small talk is bullshit nonsense #it has a place! we need socisl scripts to be polite and function sometimes! #i am simply saying that i personally have spent far too long being the idea of a person. the mask of one #that i want to start being a real person. my pinocchio ass out here like #people pleasing out of fear needs to stop. you can be unsettling. babe. babe its okay. you can laugh ugly and loud and be strange #and too intense and think too much and say strange things #and the world wont end. you can be a person warts and all #it is so weird. and also lowkey pathetic that i am only realizing this now aged 27 #like. my fear didnt make me more palatable or more loved. #it just made me lonely AND more depressed #i might still be isolated and lonely and offputting. but at least i can laugh at myself in joy in the meanwhile #idk if that makes any sense but it does to me so maybe thats all that matters for this post #ANYWAY everyone who ive been talking w lately #(yall know who u are) #im like. thank u. thank u

[morallyinept]

What a year it's been for fic writing!⭐️

There have been soooo many stories I've read and enjoyed this year, that's it's been super hard to pick favourites, and I've spent a good amount of time this year trying to narrow it down to just 25.

Listen, every single story I've read this year has been absolutely amazing. I am blown away by the sheer amount of talent and creativity we have in this fandom!

If you're not featured here on this particular list, it's not because I don't like your work or didn't enjoy it - far from it. I've simply put together a list of my personal favourites this year, based on how they made me feel, how often I re-read them, and some that have completely floored me.

And if you want more than just the 25 fic recs I've mentioned here, then please check out my Pedro Character Fav Fic Rec List where all the stories I've read/want to read and come across are featured. My TBR is through the roof, let me tell you, but it's a great problem to have!

And if your story isn't on my fic rec list, it's more than likely because I haven't found your work yet, so please yell at me to check it out! I'd absolutely love to!

Keep on writing, writers. You're all amazing!

So, without further ado, please find my top 25 Pedro Character Fics that I've really enjoyed reading this year! 🖤

☝️In no particular order, and includes a summary from the writer, where provided. Some series may still be ongoing. Please check the specific triggers/warnings on each story individually as some may not be suitable to your tastes:

• I Am Touchin', I Am Grabbin', Everything I Can't Be Havin' - @chronically-ghosted Dieter Bravo "A storm and a dead phone leaves you at the front door of your uncle’s mansion in LA. Thing is, you haven’t seen each other in over a decade and neither of you quite remember the other one looking like that. But what’s one night gonna do? Well, as it turns out – as Dieter spirals at a breaking point in his career and you’re so lost in life you can’t see up from down – a whole fucking lot."

• Rock Bottom Series - @ghostofaboy Frankie Morales "Frankie is spiraling after Tom’s death. Drugs lead to some unhealthy friendships, and too ashamed to reach out to his former teammates for help, Frankie is drawn into a world he’s afraid he can’t get out of."

• Palomino Series - @fuckyeahdindjarin Agent Whiskey "Unable to get a refund for a week-long horse-riding pack trip you’d booked with your ex, you decide to go solo. As it turns out, a rebound with a cowboy named Jack while traversing the wild landscapes of Wyoming might just be what you need."

• Stepwise @the-scandalorian Din Djarin "Requests for both soft and smutty touch-starved head canons spiraled out of control and became this."

• It Pours From Your Eyes - @the-blind-assassin-12 Joel Miller "Some things don't need to be said. Until they do."

• Transplant Series - @marisferasiop Joel Miller & Ezra "You are a resident and the only trained doctor in Jackson. You're bubbly and sweet, outgoing and friendly, and also in an unlabeled "situationship" with the town scrooge, Joel Miller. He won't say you're together, but he'll scare anyone else off. When Tommy drags back a half-dead man and girl from a patrol, you dutifully patch them up and help them settle into their new slotted house - across Rancher Street from yours and Joel's houses. Ellie and Cee get on like a bonfire, and when Joel sees how often you talk to your newest patient, his insecurities make him draw up and away from you. As you slowly give up on him and start something with Ezra, Joel's pining turns to frustration. Tommy convinces him to see if you'd be interested in being a throuple. Surprisingly, you and Ezra are both open to the idea. But can Joel's insecurities and possessiveness withstand such an arrangement? Or will the blow of another loss be what finally breaks him?"

• I'll Know It When I See It Series - @bageldaddy Joel Miller "It's the golden age of porn. Sex and sin are the national pastime. Your career in adult films starts opposite a man who goes by the name Texas."

• Compulsion Series - @iamskyereads Ezra "Beatrice is a Drifter, a member of that oft-maligned, enigmatic subsection of workers on Baylor Corporation’s long haul expeditions. Ezra is a man with flowery language and a dark past, but he plays guardian to a strong willed, soft spoken teenager. In a madcap scheme to steal precious gems from the corporation’s mining operations, Ezra and his ward, Cee, form a reluctant alliance with this lone Drifter."

• Left In Lincoln Series - @toxicanonymity Joel Miller "After you were orphaned by the Outbreak, Bill and Frank raised you, sheltered in their closed community. Now 21+, you're still inexperienced. They leave to get treatment for Frank and ask Joel to look in on you while they're gone. The town begins to creep you out, but Joel is glad to provide comfort and protection."

• Summer Schooled Series - @boliv-jenta Dave York & Joel Miller "Needing some cash before college, you start babysitting for Mr Miller and Mr York. When you decide to spend the summer teasing them. They decide you need to be taught some lessons."

• I Urge You, Bite Me - @netherfeildren Joel Miller "Sometimes love hurts like a split nail, and sometimes we like it like that. Sometimes Joel hurts like a split nail, you like him like that too."

• Sex Worker Frankie Series - @prolix-yuy Frankie Morales "Francisco “Catfish” Morales, a former sex worker at Pope’s escort service, takes on a final client and is met with something unexpected."

• Said The Spider To The Fly - @blueeyesatnight The Thief No summary provided by author, and I won't spoil it, however this is an awesome little fic which I urge you to check out if you haven't already!

• Catalyst Series - @ezrasbirdie Frankie Morales & Joel Miller "You've been nursing a crush on one of your closest friends, Frankie Morales, for a year now. At his 40th birthday party, you finally meet his new friend and neighbor, Joel Miller, who Frankie hasn't been able to stop talking about. You hit it off a little too well."

• Just A Piece - @palioom - Dave York "Dave only married you to keep his life as a hitman hidden. But when he comes home one day to you having cooked one of his childhood meals, he is doubting if he only married you out of necessity."

• This Charming Man - @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin Frankie Morales "Frankie’s wife kicks him out and files for divorce following a second trip to retrieve their money. He feels lost and hopeless until he meets someone new. He falls hard and fast for her. He’ll do anything to have her."

• Lemon Cakes & Lust - @thetriumphantpanda Oberyn Martell "Just a lowly kitchen girl, that’s all you were. A life of struggle behind you, masked by the facade of the palace. A tray of lemon cakes holds your fate with Prince Oberyn and you are only too happy to oblige his wanting of you."

• Headshots Series - @secretelephanttattoo Marcus Pike "You're a photographer and you get a job working for the FBI, taking corporate headshots."

• Starving Season Series - @wannab-urs Dave York "You and Dave York are two people with nothing left in this world. You find yourselves starving for each other, trying to fill whatever void you each have in yourselves."

• Akrasia - @sp00kymulderr Ezra "Ezra quarantine smut that focuses much less on the lockdown and much more on the smut."

• Sequins - @trulybetty Joel Miller "On a night out with friends, you run into a broad-shouldered stranger and there's no denying that there's an immediate attraction between the two of you."

• Kill Shot Series - @magpiepills Ezra "A lonesome prospector comes face to face with a dangerous stranger. What happens when you can’t resist his charm?"

• Send In The Clown - @covetyou Dieter Bravo "You lose your scarf on a visit to the carnival. Send in Dieter Bravo - washed up actor turned circus clown."

• Precious Possessions Series - @exquisiteserotonin Dave York "Work conferences were supposed to be boring. A meeting with a mysterious man sets your life on a very different trajectory."

• Rumour Has It Series - @senorabond Marcus Pike & Javier Pena "You've recently transferred from a promising job in D.C. to Texas when DEA Special Agent Javier Peña approaches you with his current case. Rumor has it you have an in with the FBI art crimes unit, and the DEA could use your skills and connections on a suspected narcos money laundering case. You need to do well on this case to prove yourself, but you're not sure Marcus Pike will even help after the way you left."

Thank you so much to all the writers for writing such amazing stories this year!

⭐️And as a bonus, I've picked a fic from my own writing that I feel is my absolute favourite piece that I've written this year:

The Pit - Ezra - "Ezra and you stumble into an ominous pit on a prospecting mission for coveted azure diamonds on the Narillan moon, and find more than you bargain for."

🖤

PEDRO CHARACTER FAV FIC REC MASTERLIST

#pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #joel miller #javier pena #frankie morales #ezra prospect #dieter bravo #agent whiskey #marcus pike #dave york #comandante veracruz #oberyn martell #din djarin #jett's fic recs #jett's top 25 fic recs of 2023

[misty-caligula]

This is my big one for s2e6 and it’s the thing that made me bolt upright in my chair, really just ... kicked me in the chest. For context my point of view on the show is a non-supernatural one, I do not think Lottie is psychic I think she’s delusional. It’s okay if you do not, but that’s the context for my take:

I have a strong suspicion that adult!Lottie’s being played, and I really do not like it.

Full disclosure, I have a history in the psychiatric world as a patient, I’m not schizophrenic but I am psychotic and I am well managed and very stable but like... I know what this shit is meant to be like, from about 15 years of personal experience. So back in s2e4 I was immediately .... confused. By Lott’s new psych. She seemed... just off.

I thought to myself “Hey, you know, psychiatry is one of those things that is so often misrepresented in all forms of media, I’m probably just reading too much into it.” But then I rewatched (and rewatched) and the more I did the more it felt... deliberate. What got to me was that ... her normal psych has gone on sabattical and been replaced, and the new one is trying to tell her not to suppress her visions with medication but try to understand them and what they’re trying to tell her.

A real psychiatrist simply would never talk like that. Would never suggest that. As far as psychiatry is concerned, Lottie is schizophrenic, her visions are delusional. And delusions/hallucinations are less ... they’re less like dreams where you might think “Oh I’m going to keep track of what I’m dreaming about and see if it means anything” (which, incidentally, is also not a thing a psychiatrist would usually do, but that’s besides the point) but are more like... a damaged computer, throwing up random, unsorted and unrelated data. Our brains are pattern finders, we desperately try to make connections in what we experience, and when our brains start misfiring and giving us bizarre and nonsensical data we still try to connect it. Delusional thinking doesn’t ... say anything about you, it doesn’t mean anything. It’s just the brain trying to sort nonsense into piles of organised nonsense.

From a psychiatric perspective a delusion or hallucination is a symptom no different to a ... headache or a rash. It’s a non-desirable issue to be treated and ideally cured, not ... explored and looked at for some kind of deeper meaning. And this isn’t even talking about like, trauma, and processing it through therapy. Lottie’s psychosis manifested long before the plane, she’s been on medication most of her life. It’s not something she can just... ignore, or choose to fight, or try not to have. More than that, by actively engaging with it it damages her coping mechanisms that she’s developed over the years to ground her in reality when she’s not certain.

Anyway. This all just seemed.... off. Wrong. And Lottie’s reaction is to say “There’s no meaning, because they’re not REAL.” Because she’s spent a LOT of time in treatment, trying to build a solid foundation of reality to live on. She’s clearly very distressed by the idea of losing touch with that, and her psych is NOT helping. It all seemed very... off.

I thought through options of what was going on. Maybe... maybe her new psych isn’t real? Maybe she’s talking to the wall? That was my best theory with so little to go on. But it was not a very satisfying answer, and didn’t really fit the general themes and style of the show anyway... I was confused.

Fast forward to ep 6 and we get more time with the new psych. Lott is now CLEARLY agitated. She can’t sit still, seems very anxious. She starts talking about “the visions” and “this feeling even about things that I know are right infront of me, it’s like it’s pointing me towards back then.” Her psych says “Is it possible that your fear of the past might be actually your fear of your illness?” Only THAT IS NOT WHAT LOTT SAID. She didn’t SAY she was afraid of the past, she was afraid of “a feeling about things I know are right infront of me, pointing me back towards then.” What does she mean by that? Finding random queens in a pile of papers? Visions of dead bees? The reality is that she’s not afraid of the past, she’s losing touch with reality. In psychiatric wording, she’s struggling to hold onto “insight” i.e. the ability to determine what’s real or not.

Lott kind of misses this disconnected thought though, and instead she says “That’s not the problem, I’m not worried that I’m ill, I’m worried I never was.” This shows a complete LACK of insight, she’s forgotten that only very recently she was terrified of her illness and now she’s suddenly thinking that maybe 30+ years of treatment were all for nothing? Maybe she was just never sick at all?

Then she goes off on a tangent, she says “With Travis coming, Natalie and now Misty’s here too. It’s like it sent them here, to show me.” “To show you what?” “That it WAS real. And that I wasn’t the only one who felt it out there, that it was all of us, that it was a part of us.” “What is...it...Lottie?” And she goes off about the god of the wilderness and the terrible things they did.

But... okay so Lott’s losing her objectivity here, which is ... not uncommon for a psychotic person to deal with. And she’s developing a belief that she was never sick, that she was never delusional, that it was always real. Now only 2 episodes beforehand she’d come to the psych on an emergency basis to increase her meds PRECISELY because she was afraid this would happen. She’s TERRIFIED of getting to this exact point, being this exact way. Because it leaves her absolutely out of control of herself, her own mind.

But listen to what the psychiatrist is saying. First she says to her face that Lott’s psychosis is “controlled.” But... no it’s not! She’s having hallucinations, she’s CLEARLY delusional, and showing all kinds of signs of psychosis. She’s definitionally out of control.

Then she asks probing questions not about her mental state, but about the details of her delusions, about the god of the forest. She STILL hasn’t increased her meds and she’s acting like it’s not at all weird that she’s saying stuff like “I think I’m not sick and never was.” Which, to a psychotic person or a psychiatrist is SUCH a red flag, because the next immediate question to raise if a schizophrenic or bipolar or otherwise psychotic person says those words is “...are you taking your medication?” Because believing that you’re not delusional is one of the core hallmarks OF BEING DELUSIONAL.

Literally the definition of a delusion is a belief without evidence that you hold against all odds even in the face of contradictory evidence. If you are sitting there saying EXTRAORDINARY things and requiring zero external evidence to back up your claims and ABSOLUTELY certain in those beliefs no matter what... that’s delusional. Of COURSE you think you’re sane, if you lack insight you simply cannot tell what you’re thinking isn’t rational.

It’s like you are so certain that gravity exists, you can feel it, you can see its’ effects, and you comfortably put your life on the line for gravity a hundred times a day. If someone told you gravity wasn’t real you’d think they sounded mad, and if they told you YOU were the one out of touch, and that actually gravity wasn’t real, you could just look around and go “Uh... obviously you’re wrong.” But if you’re getting bad info into your brain you could be relying on something with JUST AS MUCH certainty and have absolutely no idea or capacity to tell that it’s actually completely wrong, no matter how many times you were told or shown. Medicated psychotic people regain their insight and can say “Sometimes I think things that don’t make sense, and I can tell that they’re not real, and I’m glad I don’t make choices based on that false information.” Unmanaged psychotic people say “I don’t know why I should take some pill, I’m fine, nothing’s wrong at all.”

I just canNOT fathom how any psychiatrist in the world would sit with a known schizophrenic patient who’s describing having active visions, who believes that a god they found in the middle of the forest is sending people to them so they can all be magically healed by them, and not IMMEDIATELY say to themselves “Hmm, this person is clearly having a psychotic event, is clearly in a tough spot, and needs their meds adjusted and maybe we should look into their wellbeing in the short term.”

All of which led me to suddenly jump up in my chair and shout “OH MY GOD” at my poor friend who was watching with me. Because I think that Lottie is being manipulated. I think that someone’s been fucking with her meds. I think that someone got rid of her real psychiatrist and replaced him with a plant. I think the new psych is either trying to encourage her to become a more invested cult leader, possibly the cult is becoming like... more intense without her knowledge and they’re trying to turn her into a saint by removing her meds and encouraging her delusions. OR someone is trying to work out what REALLY happened in the woods and they’re manipulating her so that she’ll tell them the full story while she’s vulnerable and confused.

Either way, I’m 99.9% sure someone’s deliberately fucking with her at this point, and it’s actually really pissing me off because I can’t stand seeing vulnerable people, esp mentally ill people, being manipulated and used. It’s a HUGE thing for me, and ... aaaaaah whoever’s behind this shit I hope they meet Shauna on a very bad day.

#yellowjackets #spoilers #theories #I think I'm right on this one even though I really do not want to be #long post

[heretherebedork]

Oh, I love them. Especially Kazuma. You can feel the young crush and the old love still there for him, the way he still feels so much and so big for Ren but tries so hard to not push because he's insecure and he's unsure and he's just come back and Ren is still this superstar in his eyes, this man who is just too good to be true.

And this comes back to all the feelings and the moments they share. Kazuma feels like Ren has, and always had, surpassed him in every way. Kazuma feels constantly like he is looking up at the perfect Ren, the perfect man.

(Kazuma spent the summer vacation in the hospital and no one knew, no one had any idea how sick he was or that he went back to the US because of that illness and how long has Ren thought he left because of him?)

I am dying to know how everything went down while Kazuma was basically in a coma and unaware of the world and then left without getting the chance to say goodbye because so much had to have happened it can't even be imagined.

I cannot wait for what happened because both Ren and Kazuma left and I strongly suspect Ren made the choice to leave.

Kazuma's insecurity is going to destroy me. Absolutely and utterly destroy me. He wants desperately to be close to Ren but the secrets and the space between them leaves him feeling empty and he's trying to cross the line between them but he's too scared of losing even the semblance of a one-sided (he feels) friendship he has with him now.

The barrier and the introduction and just all of it...

The implications here about how much Ren talks about him and cares about him and how Kazuma is just going to ignore that entirely because of his own worries and fears.

PS I love this lanky doodle of a man who is just leaning all over the place and takes up whatever space he feels like and does not care how delicate the dance between these two is right now. He is far, far too much fun.

Taking into account that Kazuma literally missed an entire summer due to illness and then moved and lost his best friend/crush/first love but also that Ren lost Kazuma and then left... there's so much between them and we know so little, like an iceberg of hurt floating between them. Also, @absolutebl, that line is so good in every context and I love that there is no answer yet because neither narrative, neither the past nor the present, has reached the point that either of them is ready or realizes what the other person doesn't know or needs to know.

Ren looks happy in the middle of a crowd but we know wouldn't have come if Kazuma hadn't asked him and Kazuma off by himself, entirely alone at a different table, watching the scene unfold.

Oh man. This show is breaking my heart in the most perfect ways. It's Ren accepting the invitation from Kazuma but rejecting the rest of what he wants and Kazuma taking that was a general rejection and the shock he has every time their coworkers call them friends, close friends, good friends, because he doesn't feel like one.

And then he takes care of drunk Run carefully and tenderly and with so much of his heart going into it every choice. Kazuma still loves Ren so much even if he feels like he's on the outside looking in. That's just familiar to him.

Kazuma stopped Ren from having casual sex with a stranger and then they fucked and then Kazuma got sick and vanished. Ren has probably spent a decade running from what he did that he believed lost him a friend and that was just Kazuma being too nice and too innocent and caring too much and now here they are a decade later both convinced the other simply abandoned them and this is seriously Our Dating Sim but on both sides.

(Or maybe not, I don't know how much Ren knows about Kazuma's illness but since Hide had no idea...)

Wrong words, Kazuma. Not in that position!

#tokyo in april is... #shigatsu no tokyo wa #japanese bl #japanese drama #bl drama #asianlgbtqdramas #asian lgbtq dramas #bl series #bl japan #japanesebl #jdrama #jbl #bl jdrama #kazuma x ren #ren x kazuma #i love this show so much

[mimilind]

Stranger of the Falls - Part 4

Pairing: Boromir x Reader

Rating: T

Chapter Word Count: 2400

Parts: [ < Previous Part ] [ Next Part > ] [ Masterlist ]

Full story: [ AO3 ]

※※※

4. Convalescence

From then on, Lord Främling steadily improved. It was as if when he agreed not to starve himself, he also decided to get well as soon as possible. Already the next day he was sitting up, propped against a pillow, and spent every waking moment exercising his legs, arms, hands and fingers, stretching and lifting them without respite, forcing the unwilling limbs to cooperate. Especially his weaker side. 

One of the first things he wanted to do, apart from eating without being spoon fed, was to get rid of the bedpan and use a cane to limp to the outhouse. The first time he nearly fainted, and when you had to help him back he looked so mortified you thought he was going to hide under the blanket in shame.

But he did not, insead he resumed his exercises with renewed frenzy.

The arrow wounds began to heal, and so did the gash in his forehead. It would leave a scar, but his long hair covered most of it. 

His left side was soon almost back to normal mobility and strength, but his right side was far behind. He explained it felt like he was a baby learning to walk for the first time, as if his right limbs had forgotten how to do things.

His speech became clear and he no longer slurred on the words, but he still did not say much. You thought that he probably had been a quiet person even before the accident.

Instead of talking he worked out, limped around the room, did pushups, practiced fine motor skills. He mended his shirt and tunic, painstakingly sewing neat hems and pulling up the thread to start over whenever he wasn’t satisfied.

When he was done you could hardly see where the rift had been.

The pure doggedness he demonstrated was both impressive and a bit frightening. Was he in such a hurry to heal because he wanted to be released from your care so he could end his life? You wanted to ask him, but did not know how to bring it up.

Your house was too small for an extra bed, so he still shared yours. At least it was wide and comfortable, and it was easy to get used to the added warmth of an extra person. Though spring was on its way, nights were still cold.

One night you decided to be blunt and just ask what was on your mind, using humor to make it seem less serious. “So… It is true we agreed that as soon as you are healed, you are free to choose death, but how will you go about it?”

Unsurprisingly he appeared a bit baffled over your choice of topic. “Pardon?” 

“Will you fall on a sword, perhaps? It could be just like Túrin in the legend…”

“Too untidy. Very rude to whomever found my corpse.”

You smiled, relieved that he had replied, and in the same flippant tone. “I forget what a gentleman you are.” 

“Also, I have no sword.” You could almost hear the silent ‘…anymore’ he left out.

“Can you swim?”

“Yes.”

“That is unfortunate. You could have leapt into the river. Hm… Maybe charge headfirst into a band of orcs?”

“I already tried that.” He no longer sounded amused.

You drew a sharp breath. Was that how it all happened? “You tried to kill yourself that time? You paddled your boat to a group of orcs and then ran it down the falls because you wanted to die?”

“No,” he snapped. “Absolutely not! I tried to save… someone.” The anger ran off him and he sounded very tired. “I failed.”

“I am sorry. I should not have brought it up.” You put a soothing hand on his shoulder. 

He stiffened at first, but then relaxed, allowing you to softly stroke him over his shirt. 

“Do you wish to talk about it?” you asked.

“No.”

“Oh. Well then, let us return to the previous topic. You could… go to Mordor and challenge the Dark Lord? I am certain it would get you slayed swiftly and efficiently.”

“One does not simply walk into Mordor,” he mumbled, but you could hear he was smiling.

“I am aware. That is the idea: you try and fail and hence you die.”

He put his hand over yours and gave it a light squeeze. “Truly, I understand and appreciate what you are trying to do,” he said softly. “But it is pointless.”

You felt a strange fluttering in the pit of your stomach. His hand was much bigger than yours and felt strong.

“I am not doing anything,” you replied a bit breathlessly.

“You endeavor to talk me out of it.”

The flutter vanished, replaced with a sinking feeling. “Well, I suppose I am,” you admitted. Your voice became pleading. “Please stay.”

“Why?”

Because I like you, you thought, but of course you could not say that. “I just feel this world is already so full of monsters and evildoers. We need good men like you for balance.”

“I am not good.” He removed his hand. You felt cold where it had been.

“I think you are.”

“You do not know me.”

“I feel like I do.”

He did not reply, just turned his back on you and was silent.

※

As if your talk of Mordor had brought the war closer, the next day dire news reached you – old news, which was often the case this far east. Théoden King’s only son and heir had been killed, caught in a trap by the river Isen in the west. Saruman of Isengard was said to have been behind it, but the king had avenged his son and defeated the wizard’s army at Helm’s Deep, and later turned Isengard into ruins.

Now there was to be a great muster of riders. All able men were to gather at Dunharrow for further instructions.

The news affected your patient in a strange way. When the young men left the village he became increasingly more restless. He would take walks around it, limping surprisingly fast, and often stopped to look at the sullen crimson tint on the clouded sky that marked the border to Mordor, his fists helplessly opening and clenching.

As if he wanted to join the riders and lamented that he was still not able to do so.

He slept fitfully, and one night he woke you up with a strangled cry.

“Dark dream?” you asked.

“Yes.”

“Will you share it?”

“No.”

“Please, I am curious.” 

He was silent briefly, then turned toward you. You felt his thigh press lightly against yours and stopped breathing. You hoped he wouldn’t pull it back.

He did not.

“I dreamt I had a mighty weapon. A magical weapon that was the most powerful in the world. I became invincible. I used it to defeat Mordor. Sauron. All his underlings. Everybody fell before me… I slayed them effortlessly.”

“That does not sound like a nightmare.”

“It was.” He took your hand and put it over his chest. You felt how hard his heart was beating. “For, after I won… I sat myself on his throne and everyone bowed to me, did my bidding. On my orders people were either killed or enslaved. I took his place. I became him.” He drew a shaky breath. “It was appalling.”

For once, you lacked words. He had never shared anything even remotely personal with you before. And he was so close, the moment so intimate. His hand over yours felt burning hot.

Your heart was beating faster too now, but for a very different reason.

“I am not like that,” he continued. ”I never sought such power – or any power. All I ever wanted was for my people to be safe. My friends. My family. My home where I grew up.” His voice cracked and he drew a few breaths. “But I failed. How can I continue living when I am so weak? A failure, easily led astray by… my lack of restraint.”

“You are not weak! How can you even think that? I have never seen anyone with your strength. You were almost completely paralyzed only weeks ago and now you are up and walking, regaining more function every day. And as for restraint, you nearly starved yourself out of pure obstinacy. It was impressive. Foolish, but impressive.” You forced yourself to sound calm. Most of all you wanted to hug him but you did not know if he would appreciate that.

Besides, it would be highly inappropriate.

“That had nothing to do with strength. I merely realized everything was lost and I might as well–” He sighed. “What will happen if Mordor prevails? To my home… to a peaceful village like this? To you? What would you do?” 

His skin was warm and soft under your hand. His heart had slowed down into a steady beat.

The feeling made it hard to think. “I… I do not think Mordor will gain victory, but if so, I reckon I would… continue healing people, carry on with my life? Perhaps join a rebel force.”

“You sound very calm about it.”

“Well, why burden yourself with speculations about the future? Neither of us knows what it will be like.”

He did not reply to that. 

“Thank you,” he said at last. He was still pressing your palm against his heart, now he slid his thumb over your hand, back and forth in a gentle caress.

“You are welcome. But… but for what?” 

“For being there. Listening to my midnight ramblings.”

His touch filled you with butterflies. You wished you knew what he meant with it, if it was just his way to say thank you – or something more. 

“Do not kill yourself,” you blurted. ”Even though you can, please… do not.”

His thumb stilled. “I will not.” 

Relief filled you like a tidal wave. You were certain Främling was a man of his word; had he said he would continue living then he would do so.

He released your hand and turned away. Only partly. His thigh still touched yours. “Good night.”

But you could not sleep, not after that. Your palm tingled where it had been resting on his chest, and you still felt the ghost of his thumb on top of it. He would live. Your work had not been in vain.

※

You were a bit awkward around Främling the morning after his nightmare, but he did not mention it and acted normal, as if nothing special had happened. You didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed over that.

In the afternoon, more news reached you. A band of unusually big and strong orcs that had been sighted running across the plains a while back. You guessed it must have been them the shepherdesses saw the night before you found Främling, and you wondered if it was they who nearly killed him.

All talk of war made everyone nervous and careful. The village was badly protected with only Vidar left to guard the palisade gate, and a few other old men to protect the rest of it. All younger men had rode to join the king. The shepherdesses kept their herds within sight of home, ready to run back to safety at short notice, and the farmers hesitated to begin plowing the fields.

When Främling heard the news, he expanded his exercise and began doing weapon routines, using a long stick for a sword. He held it in his left hand and supported himself on a cane, yet managed to appear strong and fearful. You wouldn’t want to meet him in battle.

The next day he went out after breakfast, and when he returned a couple of hours later he told you he had bought Svarten, Vidar’s malicious black, and a rusty sword that looked to be about the same age as Rohan itself.

“You did what?” you asked incredulously. “Why?”

“I needed a weapon and a horse.”

“What for?” 

In the brief, frightening moment before he replied you thought it was so he could ride away. Leave you.

“To fight. I am too slow on foot. When the war is upon us, you require more men to protect the village. After your kindness to me, it is the least I can do.”

His words frightened you almost as much as the thought of him leaving. He had said ’when’ as if it was a certainty the war would come. 

“You are not yet strong enough.”

He frowned. “You need not remind me of that. But even in this state I can best a few orcs, particularly on horseback. I am fairly decent with my left hand too now.” He speculatively flexed his fingers.

“They will not come this far. There are no hiding places out in the plains and they are afraid of sunlight,” you reminded him.

“Not all orcs,” he said bitterly.

The rest of the morning he spent sharpening and polishing the old sword until it shone. Then he commenced to train Svarten with the same stubborn grit that had driven him for as long as you had known him. Aided by young Kalle, he mounted the vicious animal and rode him around a small paddock, round and round and round until the stallion was so exhausted he did not even have the energy to bite his rider when he dismounted at last.

“How did you pay for it?” you asked when he returned to you, weary and sweaty and ravenously hungry.

“I gave him my belt.”

“You what? But it must be worth a fortune! Yet you only obtained a mangy, evil horse and a rusty sword! That damn, greedy old–”

A very unusual sound interrupted your indignant speech. Främling was laughing heartily. 

“War draws near and all you can think of is whether I paid too much for my horse?” He was still chuckling.

His rumbling laughter and warm smile melted your heart into a puddle. His smile was slightly lopsided from the accident, and you adored it. You wanted to tell him he should laugh more often, for he had the most wonderful laugh, but he was right, these were bleak times. When the war came, all smiles would wane and all laughter silence.

His face grew serious. “I will protect you as best I can,” he promised.

That night you were afraid of the future for the first time and you crept closer to him, letting his strong, large form comfort you. 

As if he understood how you felt he put an arm around you, just holding you. 

When you woke up he had not removed his arm.

※※※

A/N:

The golden belt mentioned in this chapter was a gift the stranger had previously received from a certain elf Lady in Lothlórien (book canon).

※※※

Parts: [ < Previous Part ] [ Next Part > ] [ Masterlist ]

Full story: [ AO3 ]

#boromir #boromir x reader #boromir x you #boromir x oc #boromir fanfiction #lotr #lotr fanfiction #lotr fanfic #lord of the rings #hurt/comfort #healing #heroism #boromir lives au #Stranger of the Falls

[galacticnova3]

this is your free invitation to post a headcanon of your choice

I think this might count as multiple headcanons but they’re all connected by the same base topic and I’m not just deleting all of this so! Funny rat’s magic stick time

The Triple Star is the same kind of weapon/being as Galaxia, but rather than more or less pure offense, she’s intended to play a role of mixed attack and support in a group. Unlike Galaxia her standards for worthiness aren’t ridiculously strict, and she’s much less direct about someone not being fit to wield her. Which is to say instead of basically attacking such a person they simply wouldn’t ever talk to them or make their power known. As a result she spent a lot of time being moved from place to place— far longer than she was ever left in her pedestal for any length of time. For a while nobody really knew exactly what or who she was, most folks just thought “Wow! Gold cane/staff/scepter/stick with a block on it!”, and that was really the main reason she didn’t completely fall into obscurity. People like to own valuable things, after all. That’s also how the Squeak Squad eventually caught wind of them— not as a sacred artifact but as a very valuable gold cane some rich person obtained for a large sum.

Daroach actually didn’t know any different until he stole her in the eventual heist and suddenly there was a new voice in his head going on and on about Oh my STARS, FINALLY SOMEONE CAPABLE WHO ISN’T PURELY MOTIVATED BY GREED AND SELF-INTEREST, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO FIND ME WHO MIGHT ACTUALLY STRIVE TOWARD THE GREATER GOOD OF OTHERS, I MEAN SERIOUSLY IT’S LIKE EVERYONE JUST FORGOT I USED TO BE CONSIDERED THE IMMORTAL VESSEL OF A PARAGON OF UNITY AND SELFLESSNESS AND NOT JUST A FANCY GOLD STICK THAT CAN BE SOLD FOR A LOT OR STOLEN AND THEN SOLD FOR A LOT, IF I END UP IN SOME DISPLAY CASE OR VAULT OR WHATEVER AGAIN I MIGHT ACTUALLY LOSE IT, anyways greetings I am the Triple Star, you have been deemed worthy to be my wielder and it is your sacred duty to utilize me for the protection of those around you, no pressure or anything though I’m not impossibly strict or anything, if you have any questions I can answer them as you think of them if you want, no this isn’t a dream, no this isn’t a hallucination, no you’re not losing your mind, ok is a magic staff forming a telepathic connection with you REALLY that unbelievable to- no I do not usually talk this much these are just very special circumstances at the moment, and I am just very- WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT SOUNDS LIKE I’VE JUST BEEN BEAMING A RUN-ON SENTENCE DIRECTLY INTO YOUR HEAD, DO YOU EXPECT ME TO STOP AND CATCH MY BREATH WHEN I DON’T EVEN BREATHE TO BEGIN WITH, HONESTLY THIS IS A HUGE HONOR CAN YOU WAIT UNTIL YOU AREN’T MAKING YOUR GETAWAY TO QUESTION IT, actually that would probably also be a good time for you to figure out the magic I granted you- WHAT DO YOU MEAN “WHAT MAGIC” IS IT REALLY THAT SUBTLE

Basically imagine Meta Knight and Galaxia but like 5% more dysfunctional, 10% more likely to argue with each other, and 40% more likely to be complicit in a crime if said crime is for The Greater Good™️ in some fashion. She likes the other Squeaks, but doesn’t talk to them directly because she’s not supposed to. However there’s nothing stopping her from having Daroach do the actual talking for her and this is something she’s happy to take advantage of. She did/does speak more directly with Kirby in situations where they’re wielding her, and the two get along, but she’s far closer with Daroach by virtue of knowing him better and whatnot. In general they are a lot more talkative than Galaxia, wanting to be a more active presence rather than just a guide or advisor in the background. If they were to get to know one another, they’d be civil and not necessarily dislike one another, but Galaxia would think they’re too lenient and borderline irresponsible when it comes to fulfilling their purpose, while Triple Star would think she’s too serious and more passive than a sacred sword ought to be.

Also, Triple Star says eat the rich, and that has nothing to do with decades spent being stolen and bought and sold and hidden and stolen and sold again by a bunch of people with hearts that make crude oil look as pure as spring water.

#asks #rambling #my headcanons

[adhdtectives]

I was thinking this morning about Jimmy and Isabel being taken on holiday to the seaside as children, and what their poor mother would have had to deal with. So, in Mrs Howard's own words:

"Oh, let me tell you, taking these two on a family holiday was one of the worst ideas I've ever had. I thought it would be nice for us all to spend some time together as a family before Jimmy went off to boarding school. As it happened, we spent very little time together at all.

"I couldn't take the children anywhere. First, Jimmy would start dawdling, and Isabel would start getting bored and complaining that we were going too slowly. Then she would simply decide that she had something better to do, and dash off down the path to do God-knows-what. Oh, no, she'd tell me where she was going—Isabel was always very responsible about that—but, of course, she was still young enough that understanding her took a bit of work, and so she'd be long gone before I had a chance to decipher what she'd told me.

"Naturally, I'd try to catch up with her, but you know how fiendishly quick children are. I'd give up rather quickly, and turn around to find that, at some completely unknown point, Jimmy had vanished. Yes, vanished. I know you wouldn't think it, looking at the two of them now, but Jimmy was absolutely the stealthy child. He wouldn't say a word, just silently wander off to look at something. At least there was an even chance you'd be able to hear where Isabel went.

"So I spent most of our lovely beach holiday trying to track down one or both of my wayward children. They didn't go terribly far, thank goodness, though I did have to stop Isabel before she toddled into a busy street once.

"What's that? Was George any help? Oh, goodness me, no! He'd always gotten up and wandered away to inspect the local flora long before the other two. It must be in the blood, I swear—I'm the only person in the family who can stay seated for an entire hour, really I am.

"George did take the children for me one morning, though, when I nabbed him early. I had the whole morning to myself, and it was lovely! I took a chair down to the beach and found a nice, sheltered spot to read my book. Then, of course, George appeared again a couple of hours later, alone. He really did try, the dear, but the children managed to slip away from him too.

"After all that, we decided that family trips were perhaps not much of a priority after all. The next time we went to the seaside, it was a few years later, and George and I went on our own. Much more relaxing, that trip."

#snippets #writeblr #background info #this would have taken place in southern England during the Edwardian period if anyone's curious

[maria-jackson]

bi!Percy in TSATS

because i cannot and will not stop spreading this agenda yes i may be projecting, but it's because i too am a messy bisexual <3

as confirmed in the instagram takeover mark did for @/macmillan_lib yesterday, the 5 chapter preview that was leaked for TSATS was actually's mark's 'audition' to take on the role as co-author for this book.

basically, rick had them write a short sample using the outline he provided, and that's what we've read. keep that in mind.

in the third chapter of this preview, mark wrote the following:

"After a while, though, he became used to the idea that he wanted things he couldn't have: Percy, Bianca, his mother, stability … it was all the same. Getting over Percy was easier than Nico expected. What was one straight boy when you spent your whole life longing for others!"

taking this at face value, you have to realize that these are simply nico's thoughts. he's literally saying that in order for him to cope with percy's rejection, he needed to believe that percy was straight. because of course percy couldn't reciprocate feelings for nico if he wasn't attracted to men.

now remember, rick has stated on numerous occasions that unless he tells us otherwise, every character in his universe is pretty much unlabeled. your headcanon for their sexualities is as valid as the next person's. so even though it seems that this quote is giving percy the label "straight," it technically isn't. nico is simply making an assumption. yes, he could be correct, because assumptions aren't always wrong (i mean percy has a girlfriend, so it's not completely absurd to assume he's straight), but percy has never confirmed or denied that. until we hear it from him personally, he's technically still unlabeled.

on another note, think about how insane it is that this quote even exists in the preview. if rick kept it in the final version of the book, this will mean that percy is the first and only character on the percy side of the riordanverse to be called straight (whether or not it's true). now that within and of itself isn't too crazy, but it's the fact that mark wrote it is. (i highly doubt rick had it written in his outline to "confirm percy to be straight", so this was literally all mark's idea).

now i don't know about mark, but if i was the co-author of this book and i was given free reign to write whatever i wanted to, i would totally capitalize on that. how cool would it be to have the main character of rick's whole franchise be confirmed to be queer!? so why on earth would they crush that possibility within the first few chapters?

which is why i've convinced myself that that isn't what's happening. since percy was brought up in nico's nightmare sequence, it's fair to say that his past with percy hasn't exactly been resolved. he needs closure. and from what i've seen so far, mark seems to be much better at dealing with trauma than rick.

so i have faith that this means we'll be seeing percy in the end of the book, and he and nico will have a heart-to-heart. and in that heart-to-heart, i have a feeling nico is going to say something stupid like, "look, i know why you rejected me. you're straight." and percy's going to be completely flabbergasted, because he's not. queue him coming out as bi.

the important thing to remember is, percy coming out as bi really has no impact on future events. he isn't piper, in which i mean that if piper comes out as a lesbian, automatically anyone who believes jason is cis cannot, morally, ship jiper; if she's bi/pan/unlabeled/etc., there's no issue with shipping them. percy being bi, on the other hand, means he's still interested in women, so percabeth is completely valid.

which is why i can't, in my heart of hearts, believe mark would, for a lack of a better phrase, 'go backward' representation-wise. percy is already unlabeled. why make him straight when bi percy causes no harm?

#bi percy #bi4bi percabeth #bi percy jackson #pj predictions #maria jackson

[qiangweirosa]

grief

" Vyn and Ailine see each other again, almost a year after Giann's disappearance. "

relationships: giann/vyn, giann/ailine, ailine & vyn, ailine/vyn (if you squint), marius & vyn, ailine & marius (but for like a split second) tws: hurt/comfort, angst, loss wc: 878 extra: i am the ceo of giannovyn. pretend this fits the tot timeline correctly. vyn and ailine's relationship can be interpreted as romantic or platonic!

read on ao3!

Vyn wasn’t sure when they had drifted apart.

The last time he had seen Ailine was over 3 months ago; they didn’t really keep in touch anymore. Both of them had isolated themselves. The last few times he had seen her, she looked like a mere shell of her past self.

She tried to keep up the illusion that she was doing well. She tried to pretend that she was still optimistic. But Vyn was a psychiatrist, after all; and before that, he was her close friend.

He could see the eyebags growing deeper under her eyes each time they saw each other. He could see the red tint and slight puffiness of her face, most likely having been crying not long prior. He could see the way her body grew thinner, her skin paler, and he could see how she was shaking ever so slightly whenever he was brought up.

He couldn’t really blame her. She was his fiancée, after all; childhood sweethearts, engaged and ready to get married. They had even asked him to help plan their wedding. And now they couldn’t even be sure it would ever take place.

He knew he shouldn’t give up hope. But Vyn had never been an idealistic person, preferring to see things as they were, to the risk of coming off as rather pessimistic at times. Still, it wasn’t like he could simply give up on the thought of the person who meant the most to him being okay.

A person leant onto the railing next to him.

“You cut your hair.”

An observational statement. Vyn didn’t even need to look at her to know who spoke up; he could recognize that voice anywhere.

“I did.”

Silence fell onto the both of them. It had been like this before as well; Vyn and Ailine didn’t necessarily need to speak to spend a good time together. They had often spent hours basking in each other’s company in silence, simply appreciating the presence of the other.

The silence this time, however, held a different aura.

“You told me before that hair holds memories.”

His head lowered. Of course she could see through him, as much as he hated the idea. Or, well, the idea of anyone else seeing through him; Ailine being able to wasn’t so bad. He stayed silent for a little while. She knew not to rush him.

“It’s been almost a year.”

She nodded. 

“It has.”

Vyn took a deep breath, before answering. Vulnerability had never been his strong suit.

“It reminded me too much of him. He’s the one who encouraged me to let my hair grow. He liked to play with it.”

A pause.

“Every time I looked at myself, I thought of him.”

Ailine looked at the scenery below them, quietly listening. The wind blew through her hair, sending it flying behind her.

“I get it. Everything I did reminded me of him in some way. I was miserable for a while.”

She paused as well, most likely to gather her thoughts. As Vyn shot her a glance, he could see that one look on her face; the one she harbored whenever she was thinking of words to say to cheer him up.

And perhaps to cheer herself up at the same time.

“I don’t think Giann would want us to be burdened by his disappearance like this.”

Vyn felt his chest tighten. So far, they had been dancing around the topic, not daring to speak his name or to say what happened out loud. He knew this wasn’t good. He was a psychiatrist, for god’s sake; he knew avoiding the topic forever was a terrible coping mechanism. 

He shook his head to bring himself back to a proper emotional state, back to listening to Ailine’s words.

“I think… He’d want us to keep on living. So, I’d like to think he’d support us in our decisions.”

He tilted his head in confusion, a frown etching on his face. ‘ Our decisions’ ? 

Ailine must have noticed - of course she did -, because she giggled lightly and answered him.

“I got rid of a lot of my belongings. Well- most of them I placed in boxes and hid somewhere in my house, but I did throw a few things away.”

She paused to look back at the sight below the railing, taking a shaky breath.

“Still, what I’m trying to say is, your decision is justified.”

Vyn nodded, a chuckle of his own escaping him.

“Thank you for the reassurance, Ailine.”

She moved closer to him, gently placing her hand over his. He allowed her, turning it around to intertwine their fingers together.

“You’re welcome, Vivi.”

They stood there in silence, their bodies close to each other as they stared into the distance. It would be hard to move on, Vyn knew that much, but at least, for that very moment, he could enjoy the comfort.

Vyn eventually broke the silence, his tone suddenly colder than it had been earlier.

“Oh, right. Marius has been whining forever that you haven’t been visiting him. Do me a favor and go see him, if only for the sake of my sanity.”

Ailine laughed, rubbing her thumb across the back of Vyn’s hand.

“I’ll make sure to do so, don’t worry.”

#my ao3 works #tears of themis #vyn richter #giann von hagen #ailine weiss #vyn x giann #vyn x ailine #ailine x giann #giannovyn #vynline #ailiannovyn

[crowtrobotx]

OMG YOU REMINDED ME i’ve been meaning to cry into your asks about how good chrysalis is. it’s been bouncing around my brain for weeks now. like you perfectly capture the side of karl that i’m most infatuated with— which is just how he cares for people even if he’s stubborn and ruthless and yk. just karl heisenberg. ITS SO SWEET. but you also never lose the grit of his character.

AND THEN KRIS AND LOTTIE TEAR ME APART they’re sooooo fucking well written they’re so fleshed out they’re so. real. you balance your beautiful descriptions with clever and heartfelt dialogue so perfectly. like i can’t wait for every next word i read i get so excited about it.

i got too caught up in how obsessed i am with your writing i forgot i had like. an actual question— what was your inspiration for writing the fic? bc your overall theme of how science can create both terrible and beautiful things is really interesting and i love it. and i really enjoy how your characters embody this.

me personally, my inspiration for my fic came from seeing how different ethan and heis were and how their deal would’ve never worked out. bc karl simply doesn’t understand what it’s like to love someone— he’s never had someone to care about (as far as we see in the game). so ethan’s bleeding heart goes completely over his head. so i was wondering what would happen if heis DID understand ethan. what if he DID have someone to care about.

and i was wondering if you thought the same? (don’t spoil anything if you don’t want to) but will that motivate his actions in a different way when it comes to the events of the game?

anyway ily and your stuff mwah ❤️

🥺

PLEASE oh my goodness thank you so much for the kind words. You have no idea how much they mean to me! I am trying to be better about being dismissive of any compliments because I still genuinely feel baffled that people who are not me are enjoying this so much but I am so so so so glad for it all the same.

I’m honestly very happy to hear you say that you think I don’t “lose the grit” of his character because that’s something I’ve honestly struggled with trying to balance! I mean, that’s kinda crazy to say, because this is a dude who was on screen for like ten minutes lol but I feel pretty strongly with the way he swings wildly between homicidal rage and moments of stark vulnerability, there’s something resembling a person capable of love and care under there. We never got a backstory for him and I think most of us are on the “he was taken as a child, not an adult” train, so I’m always trying to depict a battle between a kid who was robbed of any opportunity for a “normal” life, the adult who came from that and has been warped into both a weapon against his will and a person hellbent on survival at all costs, and a guy who, under kinder circumstances, might have been a decent if quite a bit eccentric dude. And that’s really hard! I often worry I’ve gone and made him too soft and that I need to focus more on him behaving like a violent toddler but I always soothe myself by remembering that Capcom didn’t exactly flesh him out which is both deeply frustrating but also leaves room for almost endless possibilities.

And hngggg loving on my original characters is like, so incredibly validating for me thank you <3 I have spent a long time thinking about those two before I even wrote a single word and I’m touched that you and others can tell and seem to enjoy it. I think I’ve mentioned it before but I’ve spent the last decade plus exclusively writing poetry, not prose, so I think sometimes that comes out with my descriptions and general style. It’s kind of a harder transition than I imagined but I’d like to think I’m getting better chapter by chapter lol.

Anyway, that’s enough about me. I love your stated inspiration for Heisenberg Principle – it totally comes through in your work and I absolutely agree. It’s actually quite similar to Chrysalis, at least in part. I, too, don’t think Ethan would have ever accepted the proposal. I say this with zero hate in my heart for the folks who were gunning for a team up DLC but I actually would have been furious if they’d done that and it hadn’t ended with Karl betraying him and a black screen with “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING” on it popping up lmao. Yes, Heisenberg is meant to play at your heartstrings because it’s clear he doesn’t want to be there and anyone can sympathize with that – but I thought it was pretty clear that the player was meant to notice the hypocrisy in his massive rant about how he’s not like his siblings or his “Mother” while he proceeds to commit unspeakable horrors. (I’ve seen some folks argue that it’s ‘not that bad’ because they’re corpses or whatever but like…. Come on, man.) I tend to view his interactions with Ethan as hugely manipulative. Karl’s a living weapon. He sees Ethan as another living weapon, one he can use to dispatch with his siblings, and Rose as THE living weapon to kill Miranda. Miranda has used Heisenberg as a tool his whole (?) life so why should he think any other human relationships are different.

Which I guess leads to Chrysalis. I was also hugely interested in exploring what that confrontation would have looked like if they both had someone to protect/love and more specifically if they were both fathers. My longtime Heisenmoots can tell you I’ve been singularly obsessed with this idea since like…. Day one lol. I am hoping that it will flesh out some of his canon interactions or at least make them more interesting while also perhaps maybe change the way he ultimately interacts with Mr. Ethan “Loses a Hand Biweekly” Winters. There’s a bit of personal inspiration in there, of course. Lottie is, for example, the daughter I would want if I had one: kinda feral, smart, authentic, a little weird. Kris is in part an exploration of my own chronic illness/disability struggles – many Heisenberg fics involve the reader/OC becoming a lord (which is COOL and AWESOME and I love all these characters, to be very clear) but I wanted to look at a story where that person doesn’t mesh well with the Cadou, where through no fault of their own they succumb to it like so many other nameless folks before. Not saying I was trying to be ~edgy~ but I also thought it would be fun to subvert the traditional “Karl and OC make a vessel” story which, again, I do not blame anyone for writing because it’s right there. And, yes, I’d be remiss if I didn’t say I just love this queer old man and I wanted him to have something, anything good in his life.

I feel like I’ve been rambling like a lunatic lol I could say so much more but I’m afraid I sound totally unhinged. Before I shut my trap, I’ll say that like many I felt there was a lot to be desired with how little backstory and motivation we were presented in this otherwise compelling game. There is something they’re trying to say about parenthood and something they’re trying to say about fairy tales and it all just… leads nowhere. No, RE has never been about satisfactory/deep character development but sheesh there really is the skeleton of something crazy good here. The whole of Chrysalis is leading up to that confrontation (I believe @vodkafolie called it a Dad Battle which I love lol) and I don’t want to spoil too much but it’s going to be both about that whole idea of ‘what if he actually did pick up what Ethan was trying to throw down’ but also the whole idea of love as madness and is there a point where in trying to preserve that love you can cause too much destruction and squeeze to hard and crush it like a bug in your palm.

Again thank you thank you thank you for your kindness, mwah right back ily2 <3

#asks #chrysalis (fan fic) #mourningstarmace #thank you thank you thank you again

[stereax]

over explain hockey rpf pairings and why people like them - sincerely a girlie who wants to get into rpf but only knows her home team

hahahaha, alright :)

hockey rpf: a thing

So firstly, I'll say that, honestly, I'm not the top person to answer this. I am a bit of a fanfic writer, but I'm nowhere near established enough to have a very concrete understanding of it all.

That being said - generally, the reason any RPF (real-person fiction) exists is as an extension of a parasocial relationship. RPF allows people to project feelings onto a fictionalized version of a real person (here a hockey player) who we know much more about than they do us.

RPF can be divided into two subcategories - Player x Player and Player x Reader.

"x readers" (generally found on Tumblr) are often contested in the world of RPF, as many people consider it a bit too far in breaking the fourth wall. There are also issues with diversity in "x readers". The reader in question is almost always assumed white, Anglo-American, cisgender, female, heterosexual, heteroromantic, neurotypical, not fat, not disabled and not disordered in any way. Not only does this reinforce a "beauty standard" (by insinuating that only this kind of person is "attractive enough" to be a partner of a hockey player), it alienates those who do not fall into these categories - this is especially pertinent, at least in my limited experience, for transmasculine people, for whom being perceived as female can cause discomfort and dysphoria. If you're an "x reader" writer reading this and thinking that you're the problem for writing to uphold this standard, please don't feel bad - this is the standard "x reader" fiction has upheld for years. I ask only that you consider writing for more diverse audiences. Maybe one of your next "x readers" could be for a character explicitly written to be of color, or a transgender character, or the character could be hard of hearing or require a wheelchair... The possibilities are endless.

Enough about "x readers" and my gripes on them, though, as your question leads me to believe you're not all that interested in them. Player x player fics (generally posted on Ao3), while not as divisive as "x readers", also carry their own issues, often around misportrayal. For instance, some hockey players, such as Carey Price and Zach Whitecloud, have Indigenous backgrounds, which are an important part of their identities, but are rarely discussed in any detail.

In both areas, it's generally emphasized not to have the fics interact with the public figures - this means archive-locking on Ao3 and other measures to reduce the probability of players actually finding and reading these fics. Don't send a hockey player fic about him boning his teammate. That's weird.

As perhaps the "homoerotic homophobic" sport, hockey RPF situates itself in an environment that allows writers, who are often queer, to tackle issues of sexuality (sometimes gender as well) in a sport that is not always tolerant, mimicking some writers' experiences with homophobia and transphobia. This is especially pertinent in an era when Pride jerseys are being disavowed by players and the NHL itself.

The main idea of RPF, though, isn't a group of queer scholars writing treatises on queer topics - it's simply being a witness to the joy of others, watching people you like being happy (with each other) in situations just left of reality. Hockey, and hockey players, are just the medium for finding that joy. I think that's the long and short of it, honestly. I've spent a solid half hour trying to figure out a better way to put it and I really can't. People care about hockey pairs because they care about the players and want to see them happy. Whether it's a realistic hockey fic or a high fantasy AU where the players are royalty and knights, the idea is to create something that makes oneself (and others) happy. There are fics that, for some of us, hit home in a way that fundamentally changes our point of view on life. Not every fic is earth-shattering, but they are all labors of love, generally in the name of love, and perhaps that's something to cherish in and of itself.

Let's get into some of the pairings, then.

Generally, the more popular pairings have some sort of impetus or drive behind them - an interaction (or usually series thereof) that makes the pair enticing. Popular pairings almost always deal with popular players, too - it is incredibly rare that bottom-six players and journeymen are featured in fics.

Often, the impetus for a pair is them being teammates and growing close, giving interviews about each other, having good chemistry (and cuddles!) on the ice, and so on and so forth. Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin, Mitch Marner/Auston Matthews, Jamie Drysdale/Trevor Zegras are some of the most common teammate pairs on Ao3 - going into the specifics on each pair I mention from here on out would require my making entire primers at this point, which others have done far better than I could. Teammate pairings are often denoted by jersey numbers. (8771, 3416, 611, respectively.)

The other main impetus for a pair is a rivalry. Who doesn't love a good rivals to lovers? Leon Draisaitl/Matthew Tkachuk, Sidney Crosby/Claude Giroux, Jack Eichel/Connor McDavid are some of the top rival pairings, with each having strong motives. The first stems from the Battle of Alberta and Draisaitl's "get off the ice" comment about Tkachuk before combining for a sweet goal during one of the All-Star Games; the second is the Pennsylvania teams' rivalry that led to Crosby basically breaking Giroux's wrists before they made up on one of the Worlds Team Canada rosters with Crosby centering Giroux; the 2015 draft class where Eichel and McDavid were pit against each other and the media-stoked rivalry, only stronger now that the "worse" player Eichel has a Stanley Cup whereas the Oilers' "savior" and "generational talent" McDavid is still Cupless, fuel that pairing.) These pairings generally are denoted by portmanteaus of last names. (MattDrai, Cheesby [Giroux's love of grilled cheese makes a better pairing name], McEichel.)

Obviously for pairing names, there are exceptions - Leon Draisaitl/Connor McDavid is often referred to as McDrai and not 2997, as one example. Oftentimes, numbers or last names aren't used, and it's just written as "first name/first name" or "firstfirst" - sidgeno and nicojack are two examples of that. That works better when your pair has at least one distinguishable name.

As always, I know this is far from complete, and I invite others in the HRPF community to share their thoughts and experiences as well! :)

Your hometown team (don't know what it is) probably has a few pairs that are written about. If you're up to it, maybe start from there. If that feels a bit much for you, maybe start from a pair whose players you aren't yet emotionally attached to, from a different team. That's, of course, if you want to dive into the world of hockey RPF at all - if not, that's totally cool too!

If you want to know more about a specific pair, let me know and I'll do some Tumblr trawling for ya.

#stereanswers #sterechats :)

[emilyelizabethfowl]

I'm slowly struggling through an assignment, so this is my reward to myself: a new pinned. because the number of my OP works is slowly growing and I wanna have them out on my blog uwu

someday in the future i'll probably sort them by category but for now there's only 7 of them so chronological should be good enough

Who's On First? - crack - ASL - <1k

A moment of silence passed. A beat, followed by a second when Sabo naively thought this was going to be the end of this. “Then why did you say you’re Ace?” Luffy asked, shattering the peace. Sabo groaned, throwing his head back and letting it thunk against the wall of their treehouse. “Yeah, I wanna know, too,” Ace added. “Are you calling me rizzles?” “Believe it or not, this conversation wasn't supposed to have anything to do with you,” Sabo mumbled, his eyes focused on the sky instead of his dumbass brothers.

You Are Loved - light angst & fluff - Ace & his parents & Luffy - 13k

“You have no idea who I am!” Ace yelled, shrugging the hand off roughly. It shouldn’t have worked, Roger was clearly just humouring him, but all that mattered was to have it off- “Neither of you knows me! You weren’t there!” His parents’ faces grew blurry. “You weren’t there,” he repeated, hanging his head low and wrapping his arms around himself in a pale imitation of his brother’s hugs. “You left me all alone.” Maybe Luffy had a point, back when he told them loneliness was the worst kind of pain. Rouge was the first one to move, bringing Ace back into her embrace. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry, darling.” He let himself be held, but didn’t dare relax. Surely that bastard would try to get in on the hug, surely he would interrupt, surely- Roger was crying.

Kitchen ABCs - funny & fluff - Sanji & Zeff - 1.9k

The following day in the kitchens was very entertaining. For everyone who wasn’t Little Eggplant, at least. “See, it’s an orange,” Patty was saying, shoving it proudly into the kid’s face. “It’s round and starts with an O sound, so when you see a circle on a piece of paper-” “I know how to read!” The brat interrupted indignantly. His face was beet-red—the orange wasn’t the first comparison the cooks made—and he snatched the fruit from Patty’s hands, storming off to prepare the dessert he needed it for. With every letter and the following assurances of his literacy, which grew higher in pitch each time, Zeff couldn’t help but be certain that the boy was simply too proud to admit his lack of skill.

disconnected - extreme angst - Sabo vs Ace & Luffy - 4.5k

For a brief second, Sabo really wanted to interfere. The sword in his hand wasn’t his trusty seastone-covered pipe, but he could cover it with haki and it would work just the same against Akainu’s logia powers. He could step in front of Strawhat. Sabo was a bit far, but still closer than Fire Fist, and with how little energy he spent in this war so far, he was fast enough to make it. There was nothing stopping him from saving the Strawhat. And probably Fire Fist, too, considering the guy seemed desperate to throw himself in the way and Sabo doubted he knew what haki even was, let alone how to wield it. He really wanted to step in but, in the end, Sabo didn’t. These two pirates, young as they were, signed their own death warrants when they decided upon their career. Sabo still had his mission to finish, and he couldn’t sabotage it all for a couple of rookies.

Are We Brothers in Every Universe? - fluff (?) - ASL - 3k

“You can pick any island -- as long as it’s not Garp’s.” “You’re no fun, Benn,” Shanks complains, but drops the matter, picking another island at random. *** “You just mumbled about not wanting to go back and went back to sleep. You were being very boring, Sabo.” It takes him an embarrassingly long moment to realise that is supposed to be his name. *** “Demon wings, they call them,” Gramps had said once, one too many cups of sake into an evening. “Like Rogers’; Hell, if the wrong person sees them, they might think you are his kid! Bwahaha!” *** “Oi, Luffy,” Garp calls out gruffly. “I brought you a friend.” *** “One day, I’m going to be free just like that.” *** “Wait,” Ace cuts in, his brows furrowed. “A dojo? Your dad owns a dojo? Why don’t you just beat up those bullies of yours then?!”

Peekaboo - fluff - Dragon & baby Luffy - 1.2k

Maybe he should have gone with his original plan and left Luffy with Garp. At least his father, as far as Dragon was aware, never lost a child. How do you lose a child, you might ask? Well, simply put: You forget to cherish them. Perhaps you have some very important reports to go through, and you dare commit the ultimate crime of Not Paying Attention to your beloved toddler, and the next time you look up, he’s just- gone.

family connections - crack - Garp & Ace (mentioned) - 1k

Garp blinked, tilting his head as he played up his cluelessness. "His family connection?" Sengoku stressed. "Last I checked, being related to me wasn't a crime," Garp said, deliberately obtuse. "It should be," Sengoku muttered. "I meant the part where he's the son of Gold Roger! " Garp started laughing. And then, once he started losing steam, he remembered that one time all three of the brats got trapped between the branches of the same tree, firmly stuck one above another like yakitori, and kept laughing.

#one piece #monkey d. luffy #portgas d ace #revolutionary sabo #dragon the revolutionary #black leg sanji

[noa-ciharu]

That's fine--- it's a typical FuuKam✨✨ Then why don't we spice thing up?😎 FuuKam with kiss46----😎😎😎 (i think... It is suitable to TRC?? Huh??😂😂)

Ah, you sort of gave me idea for this one 😂 it's fluff and humor for once 😌 TRC setting, some time after acid Tokyo. Kamui displays how he's a proud owner of 0 braincells

46 - Kiss out of jealousy/envy

Just what in the world was he doing?

Kamui kept asking himself same question over and over again as he crouched down and hid behind garbage can. Strench was awful, offending really; but Kamui tried to endure it; he had other priorities on hand.

Like spying on his twin talking to his boyfr -

No.

That hunter he spent night with from time to time.

Really, what possessed him to do that, he had no clue. Ever since figuring out three of them were in same world, Fuuma started dropping by their place on regular basis. Every day, not to beat around the bush. Of course it was inevitable Subaru and Fuuma would strike a conversion from time to time. Kamui was a tad bit distrustful initially about Subaru's safety given who precisely Fuuma was related to. But those doubts faded over past few weeks.

Observing them chichating and getting along so well, Kamui returned to mistrust for complete different reasons.

Heaven help you Fuuma if you're doing things behind my back.

Kamui noticed Subaru murmuring something and Fuuma chuckling slightly in response. Damn he was too far away to hear what they were saying; without any deliberation Kamui crawled behind dumpster at closer proximity to objects of his undivided attention. Unfortunately that undivided attention resulted in him bumping head over container's edge. Something hissed, something bolted up. Cat flew from dumpster right above him; some of thrash followed. He slipped onto discarded can and stumbled down.

Universe you don't need to tell me I'm an idiot. I know that myself.

Kamui got up and dusted himself. Really, if something stood as axiom, then it was how head over heels Fuuma was for him. No way that was all pretense, he was absolutely whipped. No way he'd have interest in his more than adorable and docile twin who had no outbursts and not a hint of difficult personality and was basically adored by absolutely everyone and was totally a better choice and -

Sigh.

Great. Now he felt problem child.

What am I? A teenage girl? Damn you to hell Fuuma, this is all your fault!

In heat of a moment Kamui kicked container. Another thrasbag fell out and spilled over his feet. Damn it all to hell. This has to be Fuuma's fault too.

"Good thing you stepped in, that man kept on bothering me for days now...", Subaru murmured and broke Kamui out of whatever sorry state he fell into.

Wait, what man? Briefly Kamui felt miffed that someone was bother Subaru; extra miffed that Subaru apparently kept that from him. Kamui hoped that was only thing Subaru omitted to inform him about.

"Hm, one from bakery beside your apartment?", Fuuma hummed and scratched back of own head. He looked ridiculously attractive in casual attire and carefree like that, Kamui noted. He hoped Subaru didn't note the same.

Subaru didn't appear to be affected, simply hummed affirmatively. Good, no signs of flirting. But that didn't stop Kamui from feeling jea - curious.

Yes, he was just curious. Nothing more.

So it was that shady looking guy who gave him and Subaru funny looks; pieces started falling together, explaining why Subaru was avoiding being alone in past few days. Although, Subaru was as powerful as he was, he couldn't have easily told that guy off or simply showed him claws; dude would have ran away like he saw the devil. Still, Subaru being Subaru, of course he'd rather suffering himself than risk being rude.

If it were Kamui he would have plunged that guy's eyes out long ago.

Or maybe he would have orchestrated a chain of events that would result in Fuuma having to step in.

Momentarily Kamui imagined Fuuma politely telling that guy off. Couldn't help fantasizing how hot he would have looked with stone cold anger if Kamui ended up being one hit on. Would he glare? Oh sure he would, maybe even approach the guy and put size difference to good use. Hmm, would that be hot to watch; not that Kamui would ever admit. Maybe he could put that to test someday, when some other creep started ogling him. Yes, maybe he could dress in bit tighter clothing, walk around town and -

"You could have dealt with it yourself Subaru-san", Fuuma explained and addressed Subaru with gentle smile.

If it was a teenager girl in question, she would have been melting by attractive older guy paying attention to her. To hell, anyone would get even little bit warm and fuzzy inside. Not Subaru however, he didn't seem affected at all; even appeared to be frowning at topic of his three day stalker.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but for first time in my life I'm grateful you're obsessed with that bastard hunter of yours, Subaru.

"True, but I didn't know how to politely tell him to leave me alone. I didn't want Kamui to find out, he would have blown his top"

At mention of his name Kamui become more engrossed in conversation. He frowned once implication settled in. Really, Kamui was aware he had a bit of... outbursts and overreaction issues when their safety was in question, but that didn't mean he was delighted to hear himself being compared to unrestrained animals.

Still, Subaru's lack of response wasn't adequate really. Kamui would have clawed his eyes out! That would have been far more adequate.

"Guy would get his eyes clawed out", Fuuma commented lightly, as if reading his thoughts.

If you're reading my thoughts then step away from Subaru and start looking for me. Or at least talk about me!

Kamui pouted further; kicked thrash can once more. Bystanders gave him funny looks but he didn't give a single damn. Was he really that predictable? That much of an open book? Maybe Fuuma knew him way too well from all the sleepless nights they've spent together.

"Well, you're cute", Fuuma responded matter-of-factly. "Of course potential suitors would flock to you"

But what about me? Kamui felt himself pouting even further, like a child. Never mind that Fuuma showered him in compliments nonstop, nevermind that he's been called way more than simply cute, never mind how many times he saw Fuuma being physically affected by his appearance- suddenly Kamui couldn't recall any of that. All that matters is that his boyfr- enemy with benefits called his clearly adorable twin adorable.

Damn it all to hell. Kamui knew he was behaving irrationally, playing stories in his head that deep down he knew weren't real but couldn't tame tiny corners of mind casting shadows of doubt. For all he knew Fuuma would dump him this evening and the start hanging more and more with his twin and then they'd magically be missing during night all until one time Kamui would unlock the door and see them -

Kamui extended his nails and plunged five holes into metal container; then scraped nails down the surface. No, he wasn't miffed, he wasn't pouting and dreading - no, he didn't care at all! Not a bit. It's just... how did he sink so low to think Subaru would do that to him?

Okay maybe Subaru would, he was too kind and gentle for something like that. But that still left possibility of Fuuma losing interest in him once he saw he can do much better. Really, Kamui knew he was considered attractive by most, but his personality was anything but easy to put up with.

Fuuma put hand under chin and gazed up to sky. Then added in amused tone - "My brother wouldn't be delighted at all to hear other men are looking at you in that way"

Well, neither am I! For the first time (and hopefully last time) in his life, Kamui wished Seishirou was in this universe because he surely would have stepped in long ago. Possessive bastard would surely have thought Fuuma was flirting with Subaru or even if not, surely would have acted as prevention measure; surely wouldn't be spying from afar and playing out disastrous scenarios in head while being passive and dying inside. Kamui flinched once he realized just who he was comparing himself with, god forbid he had anything in common with that bastard hunter.

Kamui hissed once more. There's no other, all of this was Fuuma's fault one way or another! No, not Subaru's, he was polite and empathetic with everyone, even three day stalkers. Then it had to be Seishirou's fault by extension somehow. Yes, something would always be that bastard's fault. Butterfly effect probably.

Alright, maybe there was nothing going on. Maybe he was observing world with envy-green glasses. Maybe -

Subaru shifted gaze to ground, expression sheepish and abashed. Then blush spread across his face. He appeared so endearing even bystanders stared his way. Kamui frowned once more. Again, for the first time in his life Kamui hoped Subaru was blushing because of what Fuuma said about Seishirou, not because of Fuuma himself.

But Fuuma was looking at him too. And Kamui couldn't know what precisely Fuuma thought about Subaru's abashed and docile behavior. Then he opened mouth as to say something and -

Enough was enough.

Without a second though Kamui got out of his hiding spot and strolled right where Subaru and Fuuma stood. Perhaps there was something in the way he moved that ozzed of 'piss me off a tiny bit and it'll be last thing you do in your life' as all bystanders moved out of his way. Good, let world know he's annoyed.

Of course Fuuma and his twin noticed him immediately; both turned his way and took step away from one another. So you're putting distance just because I'm here now? That only strengthened Kamui's resolve to do that he never thought he'd be bold enough to do in public.

Fuuma put hands in pockets and beamed at him. Subaru also gave a meek relieved smile, but none if that dampened down Kamui's apprehension.

"Oh Kamui, I'm happy to see y-"

Kamui silenced Fuuma by pulling him down by jacket lapels into a kiss.

Silence befell. Remotely he discerned Subaru gasping a bit; perhaps wasn't expecting Kamui to act so bold in public. Neither was Kamui expecting that of himself, but he had to make a point. I'm just marking what's mine.

Kiss was more urgent and forceful than romantic; message had to be passed after all. After second or two Fuuma snapped out of utter shock and started kissing back just as ardently; got hands out of pockets and wrapped them around his waist. In that moment reality kicked in, Kamui realized just what exactly alleged jealousy made him do.

He broke the kiss momentary but damage was already done. Fuuma had cheeky grin in his face, like he just won the lottery. Kamui managed to break free of Fuuma's hold and step by his side; right between Subaru and him. Subaru was slightly flushed, probably from witnessing such unexpected display of affection, but his blush was far cry from how hard Kamui himself blushed.

Earth please open up and swallow me whole. Fuuma won't ever let me live with this.

Before either of them could comment, Kamui blunted out first thing that came to mind - "I'm here now. Let's go"

Pointless attempt to distract, he knew it won't work. Subaru simply nodded and agreed; three of them fell into step and headed towards planned location. Nonetheless Fuuma was basically oozing with merriment beside him, like a kid that just opened a candy jar. Cheeky bastard, Kamui couldn't help wondering if Fuuma somehow planned the whole thing knowing Kamui was observing from afar; just to embarrass him.

Second later arm ended up wrapped around his shoulders and frame. Kamui realized he was being pulled towards Fuuma's side. No, he didn't mind a little bit, even allowed himself to nuzzle closer to Fuuma; right in the middle of street; right in front of his twin. Fuuma ruffled his hair and leaned in to kiss cheek. Blush intensified, but Kamui allowed the affections; warm and fuzzy feeling emerged in chest, little to say he was relishing inside.

Pecks ended but Fuuma still didn't pull away; instead leaned closer and whispered into his ear - "That was the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life"

For once Kamui didn't shove him away for being handsy on public; he'd be a hypocrite after all. Instead he allowed Fuuma to caress and cuddle him in public; even went as far to wrap arm of his own around Fuuma's waist. Subaru observed them from few meter distance, content smile on his face; clearly glad to see them together. Beside the obvious embarrassment and ego crying from inside, Kamui couldn't help little smirk reaching up his face; he concealed it into Fuuma's shirt.

Goal fulfilled.

#thanks for prompt #i made fluff for once #tsubasa chronicle #kamui shirou #fuuma monou #subaru sumeragi #fuukam #kamui had -123838 braincells in this

[invisiblegarters]

Be Mine Superstar Ep 8

(Fair Warning the first four paragraphs of this are actually about Only Friends. It's what I do now, apparently. Feel free to skip to past the gif if you don't care)

Much later than usual, but the truth is aside from having responsibilities that unfortunately kept me away from dramas a lot so far this week, the Only Friends brainrot is real. Pretty much the entire time I'm *not* doing things that I need to do I'm thinking about Boston and his motivations and how he could easily be just a two dimensional fuckboy villain but there's too much going on with his face for me to buy it (Neo Trai is a gem guys, it's true. I've known it but now I really know it, you know?) and pondering how heavily Ray's issues with alcohol are going to factor in (my guess is very), how bad it's gonna get (also very), how many relationships he's going to destroy (all, probably), and who he's gonna hurt (physically as well as emotionally - look, drunk driving is a whole theme, we've had two (2) episodes and Sand and Ray and dangerous driving have been mentioned no less than three (3) times - call it Chekov's Gun, call it the Sword of Damocles (I've done both because I'm dramatic af) or be normal and simply call it foreshadowing, I just can't believe they've mentioned it this many times not to have it rear it's head in a really nasty way).

And that's not even counting the stuff that just amuses me, like counting how many times Mew looks sus in one episode (a lot), or building my SandTop exes agenda (also a MewSand agenda and a NickSand agenda...look I just think Sand should get around, okay?) and cackling over the idea that we're going to get everything in the trailer so far by episode 5.

Do you see? the brainrot is so real that I just spent paragraphs talking about OF and not the show I'm ostensibly here for. It's been a long time since a drama took over my brain to this extent. I'd say send help but I'm actually having way too much fun.

So I do apologize for the person I've become. For anyone that's not here for me to go on about OF at literally any opportunity, I really am sorry. I don't think any post will be free of it until October.

That said, let's actually talk about this show now, eh?

Sigh. So we're gonna do another outing plot here hey. That's wonderful I so love these (I really, really don't). But I guess there has to be some sort of drama happening since everything's been fairly adorable so far. Yippee?

Can I just say that the Muang/Doctor plot feels weirdly rushed and disjointed? I was so looking forward to them after the first ep and now I barely care, and that is sad.

Punn and Ashi are really cute though.

Are we also still doing the Title crushing on Ashi thing? I felt like that was there and then it got dropped, but now they're picking it up again. He's not gonna be happy with those pics. Oh but hey if it leads to him begging his asshole manager not to be an asshole then sure.

"It's not that hard to win Ashi's heart." Especially when you'll be in Japan with him and Punn won't. Just saying. Although I just incredibly doubt it'll work - this really does not strike me as that type of BL. But hey, a little angst never hurt anyone, right?

Just once I would like one of these places to look lived in. They did a little better with Punn's house but man, it depresses me how spotless everything is all the time. It's like when they order food and don't eat it. Or sleep with the lights on.

/tangent

I love that the Daddy Muang thing hasn't been dropped even though now Punn has Ashi as he wants and there's really no need for it.

The brothers remain very good. I like this sibling relationship. Feels real in a lot of ways.

Oooh I like that shot with all of them in the car park.

I find I have to keep reminding myself that Punn is only 20. But frankly, I am cringing hard at this jealousy plot. I just wanna grab him and tell him he's being too transparent, aaaah. Me, I have a pride issue. I would never. I could never.

Punn is the cutest though - I do like how he just lets every feeling show on his face, even if I could never.

"No one is taking Ashi away from you." Maybe not, but they're certainly trying lol.

Although...maybe trust in your boyfriend just a little more. It's not like you're in a show where he has one foot out the door anyway.

I wonder now if Muang has figured out Title is definitely making moves, lol. He's not stupid, even if Ashi is, a little (genuinely, I think he's just focused on his job. This is his big international break, right? Of course he just wants to do the thing right. And he has no reason to suspect that Title's trying to split him up from the boyfriend no one is even supposed to know about).

Anyway this kind of angst is my jam so I'm not even a little mad. Poor sad Punn with his poor sad Punn face, though. It just doesn't feel right to watch him be unhappy.

I love those dogs.

Hahahaha okay Punn manipulating Muang and co into helping him separate Title and Ashi is funny. I have to admit that. Yes, childish, but again, twenty. And not exactly a hugely mature twenty, either. :D

Damn, Muang. That was kinda harsh. I love it. Be meaner!! Make someone cry!

Sorry. Feeling a little vicious today, apparently.

Well at least Punn acknowledges he was being kind of immature. Yes, yes, Title is being a deliberate butt, but Punn doesn't really know that he just sort of suspects, and he was already being a little ridiculous before that.

Twenty. He's twenty. Remember he's twenty.

Ooh I did like that hop and carry though. Very nice.

And now off to Japan we go! Well. Half of us. The other half is still hanging out in Thailand.

Pfft and now there's yet another man after Ashi's pretty self. He's a hot commodity.

Beep boop time for the blackmail. Although to be fair this is going in a direction that I didn't quite expect. So props for that, I guess.

Oh hey, everyone's in Japan next week. Nice.

#be mine superstar #episode 8

[obsidianmama]

Hunt, Gather, Parent Review: Prologue

After a months-long hold at the library, I have an ebook copy of Hunt, Gather, Parent by Michaeleen Doucleff, PhD and am ready to review it! It's been recommended a lot among parents whose parenting philosophies and approaches have a lot of overlap with my own. Based on that, I expect to find within it a number of ideas I already practice within my own parenting, and am hopeful to find some new tools to add to my repertoire- after all, L is turning 3 in a few months, and that will be a whole new world for us to navigate together!

I have also harbored a few concerns. This is a book that specifically focuses on Indigenous parenting practices, but is written by a white woman. As a white person myself, I'm not the most qualified person to examine the nuances of non-Indigenous people talking about Indigenous cultures, so for the most part I'll focus on the parenting advice in my review, but since it IS important to address, I will try to point out what I do notice about how Doucleff handles her relationship with and portrayal of the people she's studying.

Since we're already on the subject, why don't we start with what we learn about these groups and how Doucleff approaches them in the prologue?

TREATMENT OF INDIGENOUS GROUPS

The book's focus is on the Maya, Hadzabe and Inuit peoples, with a section devoted to each culture. Since it's only the prologue, we don't get a lot of detail about them yet. We DO get a pledge from Doucleff to give 35% of her advance for this book to the families and communities featured within, which addresses one of my biggest concerns about a white person profiting off of Indigenous experiences- at least a significant chunk of that money is intended to go back to those communities. I don't really know if that's enough, and I can't find any information on if that money actually did get sent where it was promised.

Doucleff does emphasize that Indigenous families are as "contemporary" as any other, and notes "We...scold parents of different cultures when they don't follow our rules. At other times, we swing too far in the opposite direction and romanticize other cultures... Both types of thinking are categorically wrong" (page 11). She's definitely AWARE of a lot of the pitfalls of what she's doing. Whether or not she really avoids them remains to be seen.

Apparently she consulted with a number of experts such as anthropologists, evolutionary biologists, and psychologists as part of her research. But I feel like an anthropologist might have flagged her broad-strokes claim about hunter-gatherers being parenting experts. I'm sure many of them are, but it seems like a generalization from my layman's perspective. I'm going to be keeping an eye on that sort of thing as I read.

THE THESIS STATEMENT ON PARENTING

The prologue opens with an anecdote about Doucleff laying in bed early one morning, dreading having to wake up and face her daughter, whom she's begun to consider an enemy. She hates feeling that way, and wishes it were different, but she doesn't know HOW. She was raised in an angry home, where yelling and even throwing of shoes was common. She says that, simply put, she just didn't know how to be a good mother.

I like the frankness here, because this is something to which a LOT of parents, especially mothers, who face higher expectations and greater scrutiny for their parenting, can relate, yet often feel too ashamed to even admit. Doucleff talks about how much time she spent yelling at her three-year-old, only be to slapped and screamed at in response; how she would tell Rosy to put on her shoes to go to preschool (my feelings on three-year-olds in preschool are a topic for another day) only to be faced with the dress AND the underwear coming off. That kind of stuff is hard to admit to, because people WILL make you feel bad about it, as if you don't feel bad enough about it already. And if you don't, being shamed for it won't help you realize what's wrong with the picture.

The thing about parenting is that most of the tools in your parenting toolbox are going to come from the people who raised you. You might throw a few out because you remember those ones, specifically, hurting you, but even when you know some of them deal damage instead of fixing problems, when you don't have anything else to reach for, you're going to work with what you've got. I can relate to that, and I appreciate her candor about this. Parenting advice from people who pretend to be perfect is parenting advice you can ignore.

So, Doucleff knew something was wrong, but didn't know what or how to fix it. At the time, she was a reporter for NPR, and apparently one fateful trip to the Yucatán opened her eyes to different possibilities. This inspired her to take her daughter around the world, staying with various Indigenous peoples- many of whom are hunter-gatherers, hence the book's title- and learning new skills and wisdom from the parents she met there.

We get the bold claim that the style of parenting she learned in her travels is "universal" and children are "hardwired" to be raised like this. Now, I do think that all children will thrive the most if they are treated with respect, I would confidently declare that much to be universal. But I'm just going to need to hear more about the specific approaches recommended in this book before I can evaluate whether they're even good ideas generally.

According to Doucleff, the predominant parenting advice (she doesn't specify "in the US," but I will) centers a Euro-American perspective and is the reason for the alarmingly high rates of anxiety in children and teens and for Gen Z being the loneliest generation in decades.

The fundamental problem with mainstream parenting advice is that it centers the need for control. Either the parent is in control, or the child is, and if your child is out of control, you're a bad parent. This attitude sets up parent and child for a relationship marked by power struggles.

The issue of "Euro-American" as a synonym for "Western" aside (though I do have some issues with both terms), I would agree with the insight about control. In fact, Joanna Faber and Julie King addressed the power struggle in How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen (2017). If you view every interaction with your child as a fight for control, your home is going to be constantly embroiled in conflict, a miserable and harmful environment for everyone. Autonomy is a basic human need; therefore trying to control children against their will is going to cause them extreme distress, and they don't know how to handle extreme distress, so they're going to fight to exert control on their lives and they're going to try to emotionally regulate through yelling, crying and violent movement, the only ways that are available by default.

As the prologue comes to a close, the author emphasizes that the goal of this book isn't to make anyone feel bad about their parenting, but rather empower them to become more skillful and be more in harmony with their children. I think this ties back to the anecdote with which the book opens, where Doucleff honestly relays the deeply troubled relationship she had with her then-three-year-old. The parenting she described doing at the time was not effective, harmonious, or constructive. She knows what it's like to parent like that and feel guilt and helplessness as she gets into a shouting match with a toddler because she doesn't know what else to do. A lot of parents have been there. Chances are most people picking up this book are where she was back then- filled with frustration, guilt, dread, and at a complete loss for how to break out of the cycle of misery making their and their beloved child(ren)'s lives hell. If you already know what you're doing isn't working, you don't really need someone to come in and say, "You're doing a bad job and ruining your child's life!" That will probably hurt and upset you, but it won't help you do any better. What you need is for someone to say, "I know it's hard and you're doing your best. Here's something else you can try instead."

I don't know yet if this book is something I will personally recommend that people try instead, but I do think the long waitlist I had to sit through for a copy of it is heartening. More and more, people are going, "This way that I've learned from my parents and from the culture I live in is hurting more than it's helping. I want to find a different way so that my child and I can be happy together, so that we can be on the same team instead of enemies." It's not everything, but it is a big step in the right direction.

And if you have ever taken that step, or are doing so now? I see you. I know how it feels, and I know how hard it is. Things may not seem to get better right away, but you're making a positive difference. Your child will be better off because you made the effort to learn and change. You're going to make mistakes, but you'll say sorry and keep trying again and again until you get it right.

And it will be worth it.

#hgp review #om reads #parenting book review

[hermitcrabrave]

What your favourite hermit says about you

except i didn't do all of them bc this was a low-effort idea and i am simply one person lol GeminiTay- you're really chill but have a knack for messing with people lightheartedly. you like the colour green to an unhealthy extent. but only natural greens. You're really into aesthetics and '-core's, and probably have an aesthetic wallpaper. If you've been watching hermitcraft since before season 8, Scar was probably your favourite.

PearlescentMoon- you've probably been watching Pearl for a really long time already, and are happy to see her get to collab with so many of the hermits. You're considered the 'responsible one' of your friend group but i would not trust you with a lighter or spray paint. If you're a 3rd Life fan as well, a third of your time is spent thinking about what Could have been if Pearl had been on the server...

GoodTimesWithScar- You have good taste in fanfiction. This has nothing to do with Scar, but every Scar fan i've met is like this. You understand how chaotic Scar can be, and you love it. you firmly hold the stance that Scar in 3rd Life did Nothing wrong, and you would be correct :) You seem like a person who would have a stance against cursing, so it absolutely floors me when i hear you casually say 'fuck'. Also, your day instantly gets better when Scar posts Jellie content on twitter, and that is very understandable <3

BdoubleO- you have adhd. but that's fine, because bdubs' energy keeps you entertained, and his voice seems to strike a chord in your brain that just makes you happy. Your favourite story arc is probably the nHo jungle one, and you really like his new moss skin. You make fun of him for being short, but you're probably 5'3 yourself. Despite what most believe, you don't have anger issues, but you find loud humor kinda funny sometimes.

Mumbo Jumbo- You most likely have no idea what half of the redstone-y stuff he says even means, and you probably don't eve have a desire to learn. But that's fine, none of us are judging. You wish mumbo would be less self-deprecating, but you also think confidence looks weird on him. When you found out he was younger than Grian you lost your mind. and if you didn't know already,, you're welcome <3

Grian- you're either pretty new to hermitcraft, or have been here awhile. You're not actually as feral or chaotic as you're made out to be, and you genuinely care about the people you're close to, even if you have a hard time showing it. You probably own minecraft merchandise from the 2012 Era. You watched minecraft youtubers for about a solid 6 months before you ever even played the game.

Rendog- I could tell you you're a furry, or get way too enveloped in lore, but these are things you've heard many many times already, if you didn't already know them. You're a little bit h*rny on main, but thats okay. 3rd Life is your favourite mini-series, and you instantly latched onto Martyn, despite having never watched yogs content ever. You love his voice, and chances are, if you aren't LGBTQ+, yes you are.

Xisuma- you are in desperate need of a father figure. it's ok bestie, me too

Iskall85- Based. no but really, lol. you probably say "hallo" at least sometimes because of him. You think his whole green vibe thing going on is so cool, and, if you haven't made/looked at a stimboard before, you probably should. You're most likely some form of trans or nonbinary, and possibly think there was a lot of missed opportunity for Archetechs/Sahara projects in season 7. Extra note: Iskall's season 8 so far has been so fun and entertaining to watch. you have a truly iconic fav.

VintageBeef- You miss old Team Canada videos. Like seeing Beef collab with other people, and you genuinely just wanna give him a hug. valid. he feels like he gives good hugs. You have a really confusing but also specific music taste, but i feel like you'd be really good at suggesting good songs for me to listen to. ((drug cw under the cut))

wouldn't surprise me if you've had weed, honestly.

#all /lh #mostly /j. don't take it too seriously lol #i thought of this in a midnight daze while trying to go to sleep #if you want me to do more hermits let me know lmao #bee posts :] #now for hermit tags >>>>>> #hermitcraft #hermitcraft season 8 #geminitay #pearlescentmoon #goodtimeswithscar #Bdoubleo100 #mumbo jumbo #Grian #Rendog #xisumavoid #Iskall85 #vintagebeef #drug mention cw