There isn't much discourse about how Mike went from saying that El was a weapon in s1, even encouraging the others to use El's powers when she was still recuperating after finding Will in the void, to then in s3 accusing the others of being reckless with her powers, saying she's risking her life for no reason.
Now, I want to make clear that I'm not bashing Mike here, this has less to do with what he's doing being right or wrong. What this is about is how Mike went from doing something himself, to calling out other people for doing it, without acknowledging that fact and why the writers chose to frame it all this way.
You might think it's insignificant, but these two following scenes are clearly being paralleled to each other. And so the fact that Mike himself is acknowledging this as something to be critical of, makes me wonder what exactly is going on in his mind...
I want to preface this scene from s1 by saying that Mike is giving very off vibes here. I know that I certainly viewed this scene as romantic the first time I saw it, but since rewatching it recently, I was getting completely different vibes.
They literally make a point to focus on Mike being distracted, on the verge of impatience. Then, the way El reacts upon Mike getting up abruptly, gives this feeling of uncertainty about Mike's consideration for her in this moment, as she's clearly not what's on the top of his mind right now. And it just makes you wonder, are we truly supposed to be feeling peak romance rn?
I never realized how out of place this scene was until now (or is it...). It's just such an odd choice to have El resting her head on Mike's shoulder for comfort, only for Mike to cut it short with him being distracted, and with Dustin and El looking awkwardly at Mike like "Okay?...", then followed by a scene where he's trying to convince the others to use El's powers to help.
Here we have s1 Mike displaying behavior that s3 Mike was calling out the others for displaying:
Here we have Lucas, who was very, very critical of El being dangerous ALL of s1, and yet now in complete contrast to that, he is showing more consideration and common sense for El's well being than Mike, the supposed love (at first sight) interest ...
'That's the most important thing, remember?'
A question, followed by Mike just standing there in silence, like he's only just now really thinking about El being safe as their main priority... This is something that combined with everything else unfolding over the course of this season and the seasons after, that makes Mike's behavior a whole lot easier to understand.
I'll have to make several other posts about this, because there are a lot of aspects to it, but for now I'm just going to focus on these two parallels.
Here we have what happens in s3, with Mike being critical of the others doing something he himself literally did in s1:
In fact, how careless all of you are.
THIS. When Mike makes it a big deal to call out everyone for doing something he himself has already done, he's outright admitting that it's something that he believes is wrong, and by not even slightly acknowledging his role in doing something similar in the past, it's very likely that he feels guilty about it.
This was probably his way of trying to make it right, by standing up for El in a way that he didn't before because he was treating her like some superhero and not a real person back then.
It's just that the word love slipped out, in the heat of the moment. And El, upon overhearing this, is seeing this development of Mike herself, with s1 Mike going from, yes being more kind and considerate than the other 2 boys in the beginning, but still sort of expecting stuff from her without her being able to verbally agree to it, to now having developed and changed to saying that one of his big priorities is her safety.
El is taking this as being evidence he went from not loving her, to loving her. Another reason why it's pretty obvious El didn't believe Mike's monologue, bc she herself witnessed Mike develop his apparent romantic feelings for her over time, and so him saying it was love at first sight, was probably the catalyst that made it abundantly clear to her that he wasn't being truthful, bc she knows it's not the truth. She's not stupid.
Again this isn't about Mike doing this back then or even the others doing it now as being bad vs. good, this is about the writers going about it this way, sending a message that Mike feels guilt, enough to try to make things right, but is apparently not ready to unpack the actual guilt that is beneath the surface which lead him to this point.
And then there's this scene, which... it's actually terrifying how obvious it is they instructed Sadie and Caleb to lean out of that shot with Will and Mike reacting to El entering the room... Like... It's SOO obvious when you watch it now what they're trying to hint at without saying it.
Not only are they hinting at Will's feelings, because that is part of it, they're also hinting at Mike's internal struggle. Will is always on the back of his mind whether he's willing to address it or not. And all while that is happening, he is feeling unaddressed guilt about how he treated El when they first met and spent that one week together helping her run away from the bad guys while also looking for Will, something Mike viewed as being worthy of El using her powers...
I'll have to make the other posts regarding this soon, because it all starts to click what's going on with Mike when you look at all of these things together.
While Mike is just a kid like pretty much everyone else in this story, and while he didn't mean any harm by asking El to help them find Will (none of them did), I think that's kind of the whole point?
I think that he got lucky superman landed on his doorstep, who just so happened to be in danger herself, giving him his own purpose to help her too, with her needing him as well, and so it became a situation where they both needed each other.
But because El could literally not speak, it's not like she could really voice her feelings about things they were doing, beyond yes and no. She had Lucas sort of being critical of her, with Mike encouraging El to do things that would make the others see her as being worthy of sticking around so they can find Will. It goes without saying she felt obligated to do these things, even if they didn't outright tell her she had to or else. We literally see almost all of these scenes with her doing stuff for the others being instantly juxtaposed with scenes of Brenner doing the same. It's not the same scale of severity, but it is an acknowledgment that although she is outside of the lab, she still feels like her powers are what define her and it's all people want from her.
I think what it comes down to, is that in that moment when she is sacrificing herself to the demogorgan at the end of s1, we are seeing in real time Mike realizing what he and the other's have been asking of her this whole time, without outright asking her.
And you can literally see the retaliation and devastation hit him all at once. The instant regret, where he's backtracking and El stops him from even trying.
'Goodbye Mike' singles him out, because while he was the one out of the three that showed her the most kindness from the start, he was also the one who at the end of it all, was still expecting her to risk her life for them...
And that just makes it hit so much harder when you think about how that made Mike feel in that moment.
And then in s2 how that impacts Mike and his journey going forward.
His breakdown at the end of s2 upon her return.
His behavior in s3-4, in relation to him juggling his relationship with Will and El, now that they are both in his life at the same time.
It all starts to make sense.
I won't go too much into it because those other posts are bound to be long with a bunch of pictures too!
But on that note, there's at least one thing Mike isn't acknowledging, and it's literally what led up to the unintentional love confession that then led us to 10 more episodes of miscommunication because of it...
It's going to be important for him to address this guilt for him to fulfill his arc and to also close off his expectations that he has to have a romantic relationship with El in order to keep her in his life at all.
The audience themselves seeing this and being forced to face it is also going to make it a lot easier for them understand why Mike did what he did, not only because he's a queer kid in the 80's who has every reason to doubt and repress, but also because he understandably feels sort of indebted to El after everything.
It's more complex than him just falling out of love with her and falling in love with Will because of XYZ.
I think there is a lot of guilt and shame and trauma connected to their meeting and the events that followed. And addressing that is going to give a lot of closure to the ending of the story and also the beginning.
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I dont think Mob is naive as much as he's socially unaware, like the reason why he trusts Reigen so blindly is a bit more complex than just him being naive
Cause Mob reached out to Reigen because he was desperate to find someone like him, someone who understood his psychic specific issues, someone that could truly know what he's feeling and going through and give him guidance and support
Post incident Mob's thinking process was something along the lines of my powers hurt people -> my powers are bad -> my powers (my emotions, my instincts, myself) cannot be trusted
So he lost all confidence and trust in his own actions, resigning to being as passive as possible to avoid any further damage to anyone else, thus he started doubting his own perception of reality too
He's a kid already struggling with being ostracised for being socially inept, who just got traumatised and all of his insecurity increased by the tenfold, he doesn't know how to process what he's going through. He needs help.
And here comes Reigen, seemingly reliable, a responsible adult in a child's eyes, someone who claims he can understand him
Even tho Reigen doesnt. But it doesn't matter, because Mob finds comfort in his words and takes them to heart
Even if Reigen doesn't fully get it, even if he doesn't see the bigger picture, even if his advice isn't always the best
Eventually, Mob grows up, realises Reigen isn't as honest as he seemed through his 11 year old perspective, but like most things, he refuses to acknowledge it on a deeper level
Mob knows, but never tells Reigen, never thinks about what all those lies mean to him (ofc until he forces himself to face those doubts regarding Reigen, to properly acknowledge both of their flaws and accept them as they are, I should scream into the void about Confession Arc more God)
Due to his lack of trust in himself, Mob has relied on Reigen for years now to shape his moral compass, his thoughts, his decisions
Because well, Reigen lies, sure, but he isnt a bad person. When he hurts Mob, it isn't intentional or with ill intent, he still wants the best for him, what's the issue?
Except that it stunts Mob's growth. He doesn't develop as a person, doesn't have goals or wishes or ambitions, can't make choices on his own, he doesn't even let himself acknowledge his own emotions, he refuses to let himself exist
But Mob realises in time that he wants more than that, he wants to become better and be independent and feel again
Still, he puts the acknowledgement of the lies on hold for as long as he can, unwilling to question the way things are
This can make him feel a little naive, he constantly relies on Reigen and trusts his decisions and raises questions rarely until separation arc when he finally puts his foot down
And I do think that moment is the most resounding proof we have that Mob knows and allows himself to be used by Reigen, not wanting to shake the status quo, until he gets fed up
I mentioned the social ineptitude at the beggining but idk if I should even elaborate on that, you've watched the show, you know what I mean
He's blunt and can't read social cues or tonality that well and can't speak in front of crowds and is overall pretty awkward and I do think some people conflate that with naivety
Mob is still a child, he doesnt fully understand how the world works at the ripe age of 14 years old, but some folks take that as him being inherently naive/innocent/whatever which I don't find true
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Oh we are so BACK
When I tell you I saw this and died. HELLO?????
I keep hiding my face lahshjsdhjgfsaf HE HAS NO RIGHT. NO RIGHT AT ALL BEING THAT SEXILY INTENSE AAAAAAAAAAA
Anyway, I should probably try to make some attempt at describing the event since. If I don't I'll just be barking/crying/hiding my face for the next twelve hours.
Basically--and I'm not sure this is going to be across the board, but it held true for Napoleon and Sebastian at least--each suitor has a birthday event this year instead of a separate story. Comte's won't be released until tomorrow, but they have posted a preview.
From what I gather, he talks a little bit about himself and reveals parts of his past that haven't come to light in the game yet. There wasn't really enough to convey a coherent narrative beyond attending a party, but the line displayed here does get across the larger theme:
Comte: (I don't need momentary pleasure or ephemeral affection any longer. Now that I know love, there's nothing but you.)
He talks about how the aristocracy have thrown parties and extravagant celebrations for his birthday for most of his life. But none of it has ever really made him happy, largely because he knows that they are attempts to strengthen and broadcast power relations within high society. While I don't think he means it's entirely devoid of well wishes, I do think he sees it as a nexus of influence--and thus, by nature, impersonal. And honestly, I don't think he's wrong about that; the higher the echelon in social standing, the more it requires performance to maintain the position.
That being said, there is a fascinating flashback where he remembers a pureblood telling him about how falling in love with a human is an experience of another caliber entirely. My understanding is that Comte was still a fairly young vampire at the time, so he didn't really understand what the person was getting at. It seems like the other pureblood was trying to convey the difference in feeling, perhaps the fact that humans are more grounded in accordance with how they live--the reality and necessity of change.
After reading this--and the recent 5th bday story--I can absolutely see how change is something Comte has a complicated relationship with. He's known a certain way of life for so long, has constructed a sensibility of distant, rational maturity. After all the heartbreak of his youth, and two very acute traumatic events in his life, I can see why he'd be so afraid of broaching any kind of proximity with another person. Because on some level it's so much easier not to put your feelings on the line, to never have to fear devastating loss. And that's to say nothing of the worry of being unable to measure up on behalf of another person, of letting them down.
I'm so excited to see the rest of the contents, but something about the preview made me equal parts giddy and enamored (all I do is kick my feet with excitement LOL). I think what gets to me with Comte is that he truly does love companionship as a place to rest, a place where he can be honest about himself and his feelings without fear of ridicule (and the same goes for MC). In a world increasingly obsessed with surface level performances of power, status, and emotion, it's hard not to feel his exhaustion to the core.
Also, because these lines at the end more or less destroyed me in the best possible way:
MC: ...The you who had nowhere to belong no longer exists. In much the same way...Abel, I belong to you.
Comte: ...
Comte: I wish I could say to myself all those years ago, the me who kept indulging in such paltry things.
Comte: Until you meet MC, you will never know love...
The warmth of MC in my arms filled me with such joy I was near tears.
(I don't need momentary pleasure or ephemeral affection any longer. Now that I know love, there's nothing but you.)
The moment my lips found hers, the sweetness lit a fire deep in my body.
Comte: These cute lips that melt against mine, the heat of your skin, the love that envelops me in your embrace--always leaves me so deeply in love with you.
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instead of going to class today, i ended up writing a drabble instead. this is technically part of a longer slow-burn fic i've been working on, so apologies if it has a slight cliffhanger feel to it at the end
Sacrifice | Canonverse Drabble
✧ word count ➼ < 1k
✧ notes ➼ canonverse, protective levi uwu, idiots in love
✧ warnings: mentions of blood
Levi had said that you were only unconscious for a few days, but other than that, you had no way of telling how long you were out. You stared into the campfire you were sitting in front of as you recalled everything that had happened within the past two weeks.
You remembered being trapped, surrounded by the Jaegerists, who had marked both you and Levi down for immediate elimination. You remembered Levi charging forward to take down the Jaegerists while giving you the chance to run away. You remembered hearing a thunder spear detonate, and immediately ceased your running. You remembered running back and seeing the mangled body of Levi Ackerman—a sight you'd never thought you'd ever have to see.
You knew that Levi would've wanted you to continue to run, but that would mean leaving him to be finished off by the Jaegerists. Even having that thought momentarily cut off your breathing. What happened next was instinct. You fought off a good amount of the Jaegerists, but even you eventually fell.
You were ripped out of your thoughts as Levi tossed you a bread roll before setting down a can of soup next to you.
"Eat," he said as he sat down next to you. “It’s been a few hours since you’ve been up.”
You looked over at him, feeling a dull pain that began in the middle of your chest that migrated into your throat, giving you the sensation of wanting to vomit. You wanted to desperately look away from him to get rid of that feeling, but you also couldn't peel your eyes away.
You only saw his body for a split second right after the explosion had gone off. Pulling that memory up while looking at him in the present momentarily paralyzed you. If you had not gone back for him, he would likely be dead—and that was a thought that you couldn't bear to have.
As you reached for the bread roll, you felt resistance on your right side from bandages that were wrapped a bit too tightly and you placed a hand on your wound in an attempt to soothe the pressure.
Levi saw this and gave you a concerned look.
“Is it opening again?” he reached towards the campfire and grabbed some more first aid supplies. “Let me-”
Before he was able to touch you, you smacked his hand away, although you winced in pain right after doing so. The sudden movement had ripped open the wound on your side and you shut your eyes in pain, slowly feeling your own blood staining the bandages.
Levi sighed as he moved your hand away and lifted your shirt to stop the bleeding and reapply the bandages.
You desperately wanted to pull away, but knew that any movement would make the situation worse. You looked away from him, scowling.
"Can you quit treating me like a child?!" you whispered angrily at him.
You knew that it wasn't him that you were angry at. Any anger you felt was at yourself. You were pissed at yourself because although it was Levi that was the one that got hurt, he still ended up taking care of you.
Levi scowled upon the unexpected amount of resistance he was getting from trying to help you heal faster.
"Only if you stop acting like a child."
"What?!" you yelled out, a bit louder than you intended to. You shut your eyes in pain again as you felt the other wounds on your body also begin to complain about the sudden movements you were making.
You opened your eyes again once the pain faded.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
He glanced at you as he lowered your shirt back down after adjusting your wrappings without saying anything. He set the first aid supplies aside as he sat next to you, also looking into the fire.
You both sat in silence for a minute, with neither wanting to bring up the true topic at hand.
After a while, you finally broke the silence.
"You were dying, Levi," you finally said, knowing why he was upset with her. "Can you really blame me for coming back?"
Levi took a few seconds to answer, but clenched his fists as he continued to glare into the fire.
“I do.”
You scoffed. "What did you expect me to do?"
He finally looked over at you again, scowling.
“Call for aid. Come back with reinforcements. Do what everyone else would’ve done. Anything other than what you did.”
You shook your head rapidly, completely rejecting the words that were coming out of his mouth.
“No, you would’ve DIED if I did what everyone else would’ve done.”
“I didn’t ask you to sacrifice yourself for me, _____.”
"Neither have I asked you to always be protecting me, yet here we are," you said, frowning back at him.
“That’s different.”
"How?" you asked, astonished at his words. “How is that different?”
Levi was quiet for a few seconds, as if he was contemplating what to say.
“If it means anything to you, it-”
"What?" you interrupted, not giving him a chance to finish. "Hmm? What could possibly convince me that you protecting me is any different than me sacrificing everything to save you?”
“Nothing,” he responded immediately. “But it would be a shame for me to lose you.”
Having said that, he immediately stood up and grabbed his cloak, preparing to walk away.
You had prepared yourself for whatever reasoning Levi was willing to bring out to invalidate your efforts to save him, but was not prepared for this simple confession.
"Levi," you said quietly as you reached for him. "I-"
"Just take care to not get yourself killed. Your luck is going to run out sooner or later," he said as he finally began to walk away towards his own tent.
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