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once-upon-an-imagine · 2 years

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God Only Knows - Eddie Munson & Steve Harrington

A/N: omg! more Steddie to make your life better because, why not!? :)

Request - spideysbae asked: so im in my period and i feel like crying so yeah.... Steddie helping reader through a panic/anxiety attack (If you don't feel comfertable with it, it can just be reader crying)

Warning: polyamorous!relationship (SteddiexReader); reader having a panic attack; mentions of drugs; I think that’s it but as always please let me know if I missed anything :)

Disclaimer: I don’t own Stranger Things :) gif isn’t mine :D

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

God Only Knows

If you should ever leave me Though life would still go on, believe me The world could show nothing to me So what good would living do me?

You sighed deeply and looked at yourself in the mirror after you washed your face. You hated parties. This was probably the last place you wanted to be tonight. All you wanted to do, was get some pizza, watch a movie, and cuddle with your boyfriends. But, the Byers were back in town and wanted to share that they were moving in together with Hopper and Eleven. So, they invited everyone tonight for a dinner party at their new home. You thought you would be able to handle it since it usually wasn’t a lot of people. But, it seemed that more people than you actually expected were here. You walked out of the bathroom and started looking for your boyfriends but couldn’t find them anywhere. You figured Eddie was probably outside, smoking, hopefully not with his kids from Hellfire and far enough so Hopper wouldn’t see him. You knew he wouldn't give the kids any, but, again, you knew he wasn’t Hopper’s cup of tea. And Eddie wasn’t the most careful with his little drug lunchbox sometimes. And you had absolutely no idea where Steve was. Even if it wasn’t as much as before, you knew he still loved a party from time to time. And even more when some people from high school who still idolized him were there.

“Hey, hun-” you jumped a little when you heard Robin coming towards you. “Have you seen her?”

“Um, who?” you asked confused.

“Vickie” she said, freaking out. “I invited her tonight and she said she would come but she’s still not here and now I’m freaking out because maybe I shouldn’t have asked her out. I mean, what if I misinterpreted things? What if she just said yes to be polite but she didn’t really want to come and didn't know how to tell me or-”

“Uh, Robin” you stopped her rambling.

“Yes?”

“Vickie just walked through the door” you said, pointing in her direction where the redhead smiled and waved at the two of you.

“Oh my God. I didn’t think this through. I mean, I never thought she would actually come. What do I do?”

“Just… go say hello” you encouraged her. “You’ll be fine” you tried to assure her.

“Okay” she said taking a deep breath. “Wish me luck” she smiled.

“Good luck” you told her. “Wait” you said, pulling her back. “Have you seen Steve? Or Eddie?”

“No, sorry” she said, before walking away from you. You sighed and walked over to the living room, sitting on the couch. Hopefully one of them would find you, but someone else did first.

“Hey, dude” you looked up to see Jonathan’s friend, Argyle. “Why the long face, man? You want some pizza?” he asked, sitting down next to you.

“N-no, thanks, I’m good” you smiled politely at him.

“Your loss man” he chuckled. “Hey, why are you wearing that guy’s jacket?” he asked. “You know, the pretty boy, with the big hair?”

“Steve?” you laughed.

“Yeah” he said, taking a bite of his pizza.

“How do you know this is Steve’s jacket?” you asked, curiously.

“Oh, he wears the real shit man, not like El��s little boyfriend who wears the shitty knock-offs” he explained, making you laugh a little.

“Well, to answer your question, I was cold so he lent it to me” you said, pulling it closer to you. Steve’s smell helped you calm down a little.

“How come you don’t use your boyfriend’s jacket? He wears like three of them” he asked confused.

“Um… Steve is my boyfriend” you told him.

“Wasn’t your boyfriend the other guy with long hair? The cool one that plays D&D and shit?”

“Eddie?” you asked.

“Yeah! That guy’s so awesome, man” he said, making you chuckle.

“Yeah, Eddie is my boyfriend too” you explained.

“No way” he said, surprised. “So, the three of you are like… together?”

“Yeah” you said, a bit nervous. You knew this wasn’t exactly something that everyone just accepted.

“That is so cool” he said, genuinely. “That is like… three times the love, man” he smiled, making you sigh in relief.

“Y-yeah, something like that” you smiled back at him.

“Well then, more power to you” he said, raising up his pizza as if he was making a toast.

“Thanks, Argyle” you replied. “Um… I’m gonna go see if I can find either one of them” you said, getting up. “You haven’t seen them by any chance?”

“Nah, but if I do I’ll let them know to look for the girl in the nice jacket, ‘kay?”

“Thank you” you said before walking away.

You started walking through the crowds of people, making your way to the kitchen. Everything was beginning to be too much. The noise, the people, not finding either one of your boyfriends. You knew what was coming. But this was a happy night and you didn’t want to ruin it. So, you figured, maybe a glass of water would help. You got even more anxious when you noticed how much your hand was shaking.

“Hey!” you heard, making you accidentally drop your glass when you turned around to see Jonathan. “Whoa, sorry, love” he said, walking over to you and grabbing some paper towels to dry up the water. “Didn’t mean to scare you” he said.

“N-no, it’s fine” you smiled weakly, grabbing the plastic cup and tossing it in the garbage. “It’s uh a great party” you told him.

“It wasn’t supposed to be this big” he told you. Jonathan knew you since you two were kids. He knew you weren’t comfortable in these kinds of situations. Especially when there were so many people that you didn’t know around you. “But… you know, a lot of people were happy to see that Hopper was back and-”

“Oh, I’m sure that a lot of us are also happy that you, your mom, Will, and El are back” you smiled at him. “Also, Argyle is pretty cool” you said. “So, how come you’re hiding out here with me and not with Nancy? I figured you two have a lot of time to make up for” you said.

“I don’t know” he said, placing his hand behind his neck. “I guess we still have some things to figure out” he said.

“You two will be fine, John” you assured him.

“How do you know?”

“Because you two are like meant to be” you laughed. “You love each other and in the end, that’s what matters. I mean, look at me, I’m making it work with two people who couldn’t be more different” you chuckled, making him laugh too.

“Yeah, how’s that going?”

“Pretty good, actually” you admitted. “It would be better if I had any idea where they were” you said, starting to feel anxious again.

“Oh, I think I saw Eddie outside with Dustin and Will. I can go get him if you like-”

“You should be going to look for Nancy” you said as he started walking out of the kitchen.

“Can’t hear you, I’m already gone” he yelled before leaving and Joyce came into the kitchen after with Mrs. Henderson, Mrs. Wheeler, and Mrs. Sinclair.

“Oh hi, honey, what are you doing hiding here?” Joyce said, kindly, walking over to you. “Are you alright, sweetie? Steve was looking for you out there” she told you.

“Y-yes, I just came to grab a glass of water” you said, nervously.

“Oh, that’s right, you’re dating Steve Harrington now” Mrs. Wheeler said excitedly. “He is so handsome, you two are such a cute couple” she told you.

“Uh- right um-”

“Wait, you’re dating Steve? Dusty said Eddie was your boyfriend” Mrs. Henderson asked confused.

Great. The only one that actually knew you were dating both of them was Joyce because she had always been like a mom to you. Especially after your parents didn’t exactly approve of your relationship.

“R-right w-well, actually” you stuttered, nervously. You knew this was a delicate subject, especially with adults, since it wasn’t seen as a conventional relationship. “I uh- w-we’re u-um-”

“Honey, could you please go get Will for me? He’s outside I think” Joyce interrupted. “I’ll just talk to Claudia, Sue, and Karen really quick” she said, escorting you out the kitchen door.

“R-right, thanks, Joyce” you said, quickly before leaving the kitchen.

It started again. Your hands were shaking and your breathing became quicker. This is the main reason why you hated going to parties. People still didn’t accept the fact that you, Eddie, and Steve could all be in a relationship. It wasn’t bad when they were with you, they were pretty much the ones who would explain something and just tell people to fuck off if they made some unpleasant comments. But when it was just you, you never really knew how to handle it, since the last time you tried was with your parents. And they ended up throwing you out of their house.

“Hey!” you heard someone calling your name and then saw Max walking over to you with Lucas and Will. “Are you okay?”

“M-Max-” you said, trying to take a deep breath but your eyes were already watering.

“Lucas, go get Steve” she said, turning to him and then Will. “You go get Eddie” she instructed. “I’ll take her up to Eleven’s room” she said and the two boys nodded before they went their separate ways. “Come on” she said, taking your hand and guiding you upstairs.

Soon enough you were sitting on Eleven’s bed, trying to calm yourself down with Max’s help. It wasn’t long before the door burst open and Steve ran in with Lucas behind him.

“Love, I’m here” he said, kneeling down in front of you and taking Max’s place.

“S-Steve-” you said, as he placed your head between his hands, making you look at him.

“I’m here sunshine, look at me” he said, softly. “It’s okay, I’m here with you.”

“Princess!” Eddie’s voice came inside the room, Will, Dustin, and Jonathan behind him. “Shit, do you know what happened, Red?” he asked Max.

“No, she just came out of the kitchen that way” she explained.

“Thanks” he nodded. “We got it, guys, can you give us a minute?” he asked, looking at the rest of them.

“Is she gonna be okay?” Dustin asked, concerned.

“Yeah” Eddie assured him. “We just need some space” he smiled nervously.

“Take all the time you need, man. Let’s go, guys” Jonathan said, pushing the kids outside and closing the door behind him.

Eddie then came over to kneel in front of you, next to Steve.

“Hi princess” Eddie said, placing one of his hands on your cheek, and Steve removed his. “We’re here” he said, feeling Steve’s hand holding his free one, knowing how much it broke Eddie’s heart to see you like this and that he was probably going to blame himself. “We’re both here. You’re okay, love” he said soothingly.

“Can you take deep breaths for us, sunshine?” Steve said as Eddie started taking deep breaths so you could follow his lead. “That’s good, sweetheart, just like Eddie’s breathing” he instructed.

“That’s it, love, in” Eddie said, taking a deep breath. “And out” he guided you. “You’re doing a great job, honey” he said, smiling when your breathing started slowing down.

“There you go, sunshine” Steve said, softly, moving his hand to stroke your arm instead and Eddie did the same.

“I’m s-sorry” you said, between sobs.

“No, none of that, love” Eddie said, softly. “You have nothing to apologize for, okay?” he said, wiping your tears away.

“Can we hug you, sweetheart? What do you need us to do?” Steve asked, still stroking your arm with his hand.

You grabbed Steve’s hand with one of yours, and Eddie’s with the other one, trying to stand up.

“Hey, hold on, easy, princess okay?” Eddie said, holding you by your waist and guiding you down.

He and Steve sat next to each other with their backs against the bed and he gently placed you between the two of them, creating a safe bubble, wrapping his arm around you and Steve did the same.

“There you go, sunshine” Steve said, kissing the side of your head as Eddie kissed your cheek on his side. “We got you” he repeated.

“You’re safe, princess” Eddie whispered as you started playing with his rings.

“I’m s-s-”

“No, love, no apologizing” Steve said, brushing your hair away from your face and kissing your temple.

“B-but I s-scared y-you two, a-and Max, and Lucas, and D-Dustin, and W-Will-”

“Don’t worry about them right now, love” Eddie assured you. “They just wanted to make sure you were okay” he insisted and you nodded softly.

“What happened, love?” Steve asked, ignoring Eddie’s frowning at him. “Take your time. We just want to know how to help you, okay?”

“N-nothing happened” you said. “It was s-stupid-”

“No, love, it’s not” Eddie assured you.

“It was just all… kind of too much” you started, still playing with Eddie’s hand, not being able to face them. “It was too many p-people a-and I couldn’t find either one of you” you continued, making Steve and Eddie share a guilty look. “I w-was fine for a while, talking to Argyle and then Jonathan” you continued. “B-but then, Joyce came in the kitchen with Mrs. Henderson, and Mrs. Wheeler, a-and Mrs. Sinclair” you said, trying your best not to start crying again. “A-and Mrs. Wheeler asked if I w-was dating y-you” you said, nodding your head towards Steve. “B-but then Mrs. Henderson said she w-was confused because she thought I was d-dating you” you said, pulling Eddie’s hand. “S-so I just d-didn’t know how to explain that I w-was dating both of you, and then Joyce told me to g-go but I s-still couldn’t f-find you a-and I just-” you stopped when your breathing started picking up again.

“Shh, it’s okay” Steve said, tightening his arm around you.

“It’s okay, princess” Eddie said, kissing your head again. “You wanna go home?”

“N-no” you said, looking up at them. “Y-you two are having fun, a-and-”

“Don’t be silly, sweetheart” Steve said, kissing your forehead. “There’s no way we could have more fun here than just the three of us back at home” he assured you. “We can do whatever you want” he offered.

“R-really?” you asked, sitting up, looking between them and the two of them nodded. “C-can we read Lord of The Rings?” you asked with a small smile.

“Again-?” Steve started but stopped when Eddie smacked him on the back of the head. “Yes, of course, we can, sweetheart” he smiled, kissing your cheek.

“Whatever you want, princess” Eddie smiled, kissing your other cheek.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

“Was Dustin really okay? He sounded really scared. And Max, she was so helpful and I didn’t mean to-”

“Love stop” Steve said, walking over to you and sitting on the bed. “They were just a little worried. They care about you. And you know Henderson sees you like a big sister, but I promise you they were fine. They’re coming tomorrow for movie night” he insisted. “And I just called Joyce to let her know we were home and that you were feeling better” he said, bringing you a cup of tea and his yellow sweater and one of Eddie’s boxers so you could change into them. “You have nothing to worry about, okay?” he said, giving you a small peck on the lips.

“Thanks, love” you said, kissing him again.

“I’ll be right back, sweetheart” he said and you nodded as he left the room and went looking for Eddie, who was basically turning the living room upside down looking for his book.

“Is not here” Steve heard him mumbling to himself. “Shit!”

“Eddie?”

“Is not here! I can’t find the fucking book! Did you move it-”

“Love, calm down, I’m sure it’s here somewhere-”

“It’s not!” he said, knocking down the books on the shelf next to him. “I can’t- I can’t find it! I put it down there for a second and-”

“Eddie” Steve said, walking closer to him and grabbing his hands to make him stop spiraling. “Look at me, love” he said, softly. Eddie sighed and turned to look at him reluctantly. “She’s okay” he said.

“She had a panic attack, Steve-”

“I know, but it wasn’t your fault-”

“Yes, it was! Henderson wanted to show me something and she said she was going to the bathroom and… I, I thought she had found you and stayed with you or something- I should have waited for her! We know she hates these kinds of events, there were so many people there. So many fucking judgemental people and I left her by herself-”

“Stop” Steve said, placing his hand on Eddie’s cheek, softly. “I know, okay? I feel horrible too that she was alone, but we got there in time. And she found Max, Lucas, and Will. Joyce saw she was uncomfortable so she sent her away and she made sure she was okay before we left. She has people that care about her and she knows we do too. She knows we love her. She knows you love her. She’s okay, Eddie, this wasn’t your fault-”

“But-”

“No buts, she just wants us here with her and that’s what we’re gonna do, okay?”

“I just…” Eddie sighed sadly.

“I know” Steve said, giving him a peck on the lips. “I know, love” he said, hugging him closer.

“Eddie?” you said, standing at the door to your bedroom.

Eddie quickly wiped away his tears and pulled away from Steve.

“Yes, princess?” he said, clearing his throat.

“I found the book” you smiled weakly, holding it in your hand. Eddie smiled back and walked over to you, giving you a kiss on the lips.

“Lead the way then, gorgeous” he said, grabbing your hand and bringing it to his lips, making you smile.

“Are you coming, Stevie?” you asked.

“I’ll be right there, sweetheart” he smiled and Eddie pulled you to the bedroom.

Eddie sat on his side of the bed and you curled up next to him while he looked for the marked page.

“So, where were we-?” Eddie asked but he suddenly stopped and placed the book on his nightstand and sat up, grabbing your hand. “Princess?”

“Love?” you smiled, sitting up as he looked at you.

“Y-you know that I love you right?” he asked all of the sudden. You frowned your eyebrows in confusion and smiled sweetly at him.

“Of course, I know” you said. “I love you too” you smiled.

“It’s just… I don’t- um… I didn’t mean to leave you alone tonight and-”

“Eddie” you said, placing your hand on his cheek to make him look at you. “What happened to me wasn’t your fault” you assured him.

“But I was with you and I just… I don’t want you to think like you can’t trust me or that I won’t be there for you I just-”

“Whoa, Eddie, I would never think that, love” you assured him, not noticing that Steve was now standing at the door. “You and Steve are my favorite people in the world. You two always make me feel safe and comfortable and happy and loved and… even if it was a little scary for a moment, I have never doubted that you and Steve love me and would be there whenever I need you” you smiled.

“Yeah?” Eddie asked, still feeling a little guilty.

“Yeah” you nodded. “I mean, you let me choose the music on the way back home and Steve let me choose reading Lord of the Rings” you chuckled, looking back at Steve, who rolled his eyes and went to sit on your other side. “If that’s not love, I really don’t know what is” you smiled as Steve wrapped his arms around your waist and Eddie laughed a little. “I love you” you said, grabbing Eddie’s hand and pulling him towards you to give him a kiss on the lips. “Both of you” you said, turning to Steve and giving him one as well.

“Me too” Steve smiled, resting his head against yours and looking back at Eddie.

“Me three” Eddie said, grabbing the book again before he linked his free hand to your sand Steve’s. “Ready?”

“Oh, almost, hold on” Steve said, pulling away and pressing play on the boombox on the floor. You and Eddie smiled when you heard the song that came on as Steve came back, kissing your head.

“Thanks” you whispered, kissing his cheek.

“Now we’re ready” Seve told Eddie as he started reading with the music in the background.

“Okay… let’s begin” Eddie said, kissing your head before returning to the book.

This was your absolute favorite place in the world. Lying here with Steve and Eddie felt like the safest spot on the planet. Where nothing could hurt you. It was just the three of you and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

I may not always love you But long as there are stars above you You never need to doubt it I'll make you so sure about it God only knows what I'd be without you

The End

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Song: God Only Knows - The Beach Boys

A/N: ahhhh! I really hope you loves like it! I really enjoyed writing for Steddie and I have a couple more to come probably over the weekend xD

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gertritude-art · 1 year

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Progress Report!

youtube

As promised, here is another progress report for DemonVN - or, as it will officially be known, Demon Detangled: Horror at the Homecoming Dance (subtitle pending). You can view the first (rough) six minutes of it up there. There’s still quite a bit to edit about it, as I’m sure you can tell, and a lot of it is stuff I have already shown, but for once, it’s all up there together.

Anyway, let’s get started!

FIRST...:

DemonVN has an about page on this blog, now. You can read it here!

MENUS:

The title screen is officially done! You can see what it looks like up above. And, yes, the official name is Demon Detangled! I’ve had the name in mind for months, but was waiting to officially say it in case I wanted to change it (spoilers: I could not think of a better one). The subtitle is still in need a rework, but I’m including one on the off chance that I gather enough willpower to turn this into a series, rather than just a single game. Gotta make ‘em distinct, somehow...

I still need to customize all the other menus, but I already have drafts of how they should look in the works! They should be done in the next few weeks.

SPRITES:

Lillie now has a new sprite, as does Catherine! It is only looking at them now that I realize just how inhuman Lillie looks. Hm. Perhaps this is a deep metaphor for how, really, humans are no different than demons... or that she just needs to get out of the church more often.

Anyway, the rest of the cast is also in the progress of being edited a bit, but I don't have anything official to show for them... Please imagine them in your minds.

POINT AND CLICK ASPECTS:

As I have mentioned, DemonVN does have point and click aspects, so as to excite and challenge the average three-year-old who may want to play. I spent a lot of the past week or so trying to iron out some of those aspects. Did you know that at one point, you’ll be able to select multiple items to use on someone? Check this out:

Aside from that, I’ve been slowly fixing and figuring out all the other item interactions in the game! I almost got that done in time for this update, but I think it’ll take me another few days to get the base of all those implemented. There have been a lot of if/else statements at play...

THE WRITING:

I’ve been jumping back and forth quite a bit with the writing of this game, but I have made some progress! The introduction is still getting written (it remains my white whale), but all the interactions you can have with your classmates are close to finished. That is something I did not realize I had actually done until I wrote it just now - it feels like I’ve been writing them for forever! Here’s a fun interaction to show you:

Aside from that, a lot of my writing energy has been spent sitting and figuring out how the ending is going to go. There is a specific, very important emotional section of it (SPOILERS: MORDRED EXPERIENCES AN EMOTION) that I’ve been trying to figure out the tone of for over a year, and I think I finally understand how it needs to be written without it coming across as overwrought or undeserved. I wish I could show off what I’ve written of it so far, but... it will be good :^)

THE ART:

Didn’t do much in the art department, recently, but I do have a lot of placeholder assets in place! Shout out to this funky guy:

I have a really cool CG I drew a few months back that I had to reluctantly cut, and so I could show you that... but I’m not going to #cruelty #hatred

IS THE END IN SIGHT?

Not yet! Check back next month for another report on how it’s going, though! I should have some more answers by then. Hopefully.

WHY DID YOU WORK ON YOUR TITLE SCREEN SO HARD BEFORE YOU FINISHED THE GAME. I WAS SO EXCITED THINKING YOU WERE DONE. EXPLAIN.

1) I needed to do something for the game one day, and I didn’t feel like doing anything else. 2) Doing this helped me learn that buttons can perform multiple functions, which! I had no idea was possible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you for telling me, Ren’Py!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, that’s all for now. See you next month with another progress report! :D

#my ocs #demonvn #wip #HI. here's a big ol progress update.#enjoy!!!!#THIS TIME I REALIZED I CAN USE GIFS #also please forgive any typos. my eyes are blurry today

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fanfic-scribbles · 11 months

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Marry Me Three

Sequel to: Marry Me 2 - Boyfriend’s Back (All Right)

Fandom: MCU Captain America/Avengers

Summary: Marriage is stupidly limited. That’s okay– you’ve never found a box that could fit you anyway.

Quick facts: Romance – Steve Rogers/Reader/Bucky Barnes – Female Reader

Warnings: Fluff, marriage talk, a little fade-to-black sexy times

MCU Timeline: Set some nebulous time after CA:TWS

Words: 3170

A/N: At last, the end of the ‘Marry Me’ saga. Please enjoy a bunch of goofballs <3

Bucky is brooding.

This isn’t so different from usual, but what is unusual is that none of your distraction tactics are working. The lovey-dovey stuff gets a little kiss before he’s back to stewing in his own head, the funny stuff gets a half-hearted smile before he once again becomes the protagonist of a Russian tragedy, (it is ridiculous that he is not actually Russian, honestly, even Natasha has commented that she feels lacking next to him), and your last-ditch attempts to be annoying get a scowl and some muttered curses before he turns away and does his best gargoyle impression.

Some research is required.

“Is there a reason you’ve started walking around with a notepad and pen and staring at Bucky?” Steve asks, like for all he knows the answer could very well be ‘no.’

“I’m trying to figure out what’s wrong with him,” you say. “So I’m taking notes and observations so I can put them together later.”

“Ah.” He sips his coffee and stares at you. “That explains the new corkboard. No string?”

“I had to order it. They were out of red,” you admit. “It’s coming with the safari hat.”

He stares at you. “Why safari instead of a deerstalker?”

“The safari ones looked nicer and shipped faster,” you say. “If the binoculars weren’t more annoying than they’re worth I’d be using them too. Maybe if I’m annoying enough I can actually get him to talk about his fucking feelings rather than keep shutting me out.”

Steve pulls you into a hug and kisses your head. “I’ll try and talk to him,” he says and rubs your shoulder. As he pulls away, he says, “No smoking pipes.”

You hadn’t been thinking about that since your Sherlock Holmes cosplay abruptly stopped with the lack of nice hats available with fast shipping, but now that he’s said no you can’t resist the siren song of pushing boundaries. “Not even a bubble one?”

Steve shoots you a glare and wanders off.

Well, if Steve succeeds, hopefully you’ll be able to find another use for the safari hat. But until he pulls through you will continue to observe Boyfriendicus Moodicus and hope a solution presents itself.

Nothing magically happens to make things better. Bucky’s still sullen, but he’s sullen with a guilty edge when he comes up one day and hugs you from behind. “I’m sorry I’ve been a jerk,” he says and presses a little kiss to your head.

“You’re not a jerk,” you say and put your hands over his as Steve watches with a look of concern himself. The talk didn’t go so well, apparently, but at least someone else is on the lookout now. “But I know you’re upset and I wish you’d tell me why. Or Steve. Or an imaginary friend. Somebody.”

“I, uh…” He nuzzles you, preying on your weakness. Bastard. You hope he keeps it up. “I don’t know how to say it,” he admits. “It’s something in my own head, and I don’t know how to…say it right. So I wanna wait.”

“But you will?” you ask and he nods. “Fine,” you say uncertainly. “If it takes too long though I’m getting a little hand puppet, okay?”

Even the thought makes him look annoyed, which is exactly what you were hoping for. They know better than to test you on your most ridiculous ideas, and you make a few open and shut motions with your hand to drive the point home. But something about how Bucky looks at your hand catches your attention. There’s a brief burst of longing and what is he even looking a–

Oh.

Oh!

The ring.

Over the next week you take your Bucky Studies very seriously. He said he can’t verbalize it and you believe that– Steve has his moments but Bucky has an especially hard time talking about what he wants and what he feels, (and when you think about the why you end up clinging to him like a koala which is not ideal for observation but is great for very distracting kisses), so you don’t try to push him. The safari hat goes mostly unused, alas, but you do pick up on a few things:

A) Bucky doesn’t just give sad longing looks at your ring, but at Steve’s too;

B) If you and Steve are already fooling around, Bucky is a lot more hesitant about joining in than he was when you all started your, ahem, group activities;

C) A and B are very often paired together– and while A can happen during even just the mundanity of the day, B will always have that look of envy;

and A point 2 C B or whatever) The envious look at your rings is almost always followed by a flash of annoyance. And not at you– you’ve gotten very, very good at reading your partners’ looks of annoyance, (you even have a handy card catalogue you reference sometimes to make them very annoyed at you), but seemingly at himself.

It’s sort of remarkable that you can see all this, because while you’re more observant than people sometimes give you credit for, it’s still something special to be able to observe Bucky without having him call you on it once or twice. It’s nice that he’s so comfortable around you. But it’s not nice that this issue– whatever he can’t verbalize– is eating him away so much that he lets it show for all and sundry.

Still, now you have some data. It’s time to try and formulate some solutions.

“Hey Bucky?”

“Yeah doll?”

“Would it make you feel better if Steve and I got divorced?”

Bucky chokes on his drink. Steve, to his credit, merely stops cutting his food and looks up at you past slightly raised brows. You think it’s nice that he understands what you meant. Or maybe he doesn’t understand and he’s just used to your nonsense. If you’re being honest, it’s probably more the latter, but it’s still nice to have your general person so well understood that Steve can hear that and not worry.

“Wh-…” Bucky pauses to take another drink that actually makes it down his throat. “Sweetheart, why would I want that?”

“It’s just a thought,” you say. “Because Steve and I love each other whether we’re together in the eyes of the law or not. Just like we love you.” You have to hurry up when he opens his mouth. “And I know you know we don’t love you any less, but knowing and feeling are two different things and we all have doubts.”

“I don’t doubt,” Bucky says quickly. “But…you’re sort of right. It’s just something I have to deal with.” He takes your hand and tugs you in for a little hug that you both have to lean out of your chairs for. “I don’t want you and Steve to get divorced. I like that you two are married. Also, it’d be a huge pain in the ass and pro’ly wouldn’t do much.”

“Okay.” You kiss his head and lean back. Back to the drawing board. Luckily the drawing board still has some sketches on it. “It’s okay Bucky, I’ve got another idea.”

Both Bucky and Steve are suddenly distracted by ringing phones. You sigh but pull yourself together as they jump up. While they get ready, you shove their dinners into containers so they can at least have a little something on their way to save the world.

“I know it sounded bad, but you get what I meant, right?” you ask Steve in between kissing him goodbye. Multiple times, of course.

“I know. And I agree.” He smiles and kisses you one more time before letting Bucky in.

You make sure to give Bucky just as much physical love as you did Steve, but he’s looking at you cautiously. Still, he kisses you, and says, “Don’t do anything before we get home and talk about your ‘idea,’ okay?”

“Have a lovely day at work; be safe!” you say cheerfully. Bucky is about to open his mouth but you are, strangely, saved by yet more ringing from his phone, and the sounds of tires screeching outside. He rolls his eyes and runs out with Steve, not even pausing when he mouths, ‘We’ll talk later.’

You shut the door and turn back to your empty home. You allow yourself a moment of self-pity before you make a fist and hit it to your palm. This is actually perfect– an opportunity to put your plan into action without any super-significant-other meddling. You are going to get right to it–

–your stomach grumbles–

–after dinner.

They come back in two days, so it’s a good thing you decided not to procrastinate on your Secret Plan. The mission was quick and neither of them are injured, but they are obviously exhausted, so you cajole them into taking a nap. Steve is tired enough he does as he’s told, dragging a slightly more suspicious Bucky with him. But Bucky is just as tired, so you blow them both a kiss and, once the door is shut and you hear no more moving, you rush to your little box of supplies and start setting everything up.

When they come out for dinner the candles are all set, the food is almost ready, and your two super soldiers take a moment to fully wake up from their nap and appreciate the nice romantic table you’ve put together.

Steve clears his throat and leans in to straighten one of the candles that had tilted maybe a little worryingly to the side. “Oh, oops; good catch,” you say and put down their two plates. “Steve, come be helpful and grab the wine glasses.”

“Really going all out to welcome us home,” Bucky says, eyeing you suspiciously.

“Yeah sure, that’s what it is,” you say, smiling too hard to sell it, and you all but drag Steve into the kitchen where you promptly shove a little box into his hand, and mouth, ‘Wait.’

His eyes light up, but he grins too and nods, and takes the wine glasses and the bottle out to the table while you grab the last plate and go to take your seat. Bucky looks even more suspicious, definitely not helped by how Steve is the absolute worst at keeping a straight face, but you ignore your husband in favor of the modest but still delicious meal you made. “You’re probably starving.”

“Sweetheart,” Bucky says warily, not even attempting to grab his fork. “Don’t take this the wrong way but– what are you up to?”

You don’t answer, and instead take a bite. In all honestly though it’s hard to focus on the food– you’re very excited for this, and when Bucky keeps staring at you, you think…fuck it. It’s time to put him at ease, one way or another.

So you stand up, walk over to him, get down on one knee, pull out the box, and open it. “Bucky,” you say. “We can’t get married before God and law but…fuck ‘em. I love you just as much as I love Steve and if this is only legit to us then that’s all that matters. So, James Buchanan Barnes, second love of my life but not the secondary love of my life, will you marry me according to the law of this house– coincidentally my law– and be my top-secret husband?”

Bucky considers you with a serious face that looks close to cracking. “Will you promise to unassign “Secret Agent Man” as my theme song?”

“Absolutely not,” you say. “But when I sing it the lyrics will be changed to reflect your new status as ‘secret husband man.’”

Steve breaks, laughing and leaning on the table for support. Bucky even cracks a smile, but you try to stay neutral, to let him know you’re (mostly) serious. His eyes soften like he knows. Of course he knows– he knows you just like Steve does, by now. “Well how can I resist an offer like that?” he asks and holds out his hand for you to put on the ring.

You try to take your time, so that Steve can get over his sudden burst of amusement, but he’s still chuckling when you take your seat again. You take your wine glass and give Bucky a sympathetic look. “I wish I could tell you Steve’s proposal to me was more romantic, but it really wasn’t.”

Steve stops laughing then. “Hey…you aren’t seriously going to tell that story to everyone are you?”

You take a moment to consider. “Well, I guess orgasms can be romantic.”

Steve hides his head and Bucky laughs loudly. “Stevie you fucking cheat,” Bucky says with a wide grin and admiration in his voice.

“That wasn’t the real proposal!” Steve insists. “The real proposal was the next morning. That was…”

“Steve being unable to keep a secret to save his life,” you supplement. Steve opens his mouth and you wave him silent. “Yeah, yeah; you can work on Bucky’s proposal later. For now, eat. I worked hard on this.”

“I’ll take the orgasm proposal,” Bucky says but takes his own utensils in hand. “Is that a special I can order?”

Steve mutters under his breath and attacks his meal like it’s going to run away. You roll your eyes but get to your food. “Dinner first, then honeymoon.” You take a bite and chew for a few seconds before you swallow and add. “And then cake.”

“The only surprise about this, is that cake is coming last,” Bucky says in amusement and follows suit.

There are so many responses to that. You, a true Hero, refrain in order to at least get through dinner and to the fun stuff without your husband and husband-to-be chucking you out of a window.

You get chucked onto the bed, which is way more fun and makes you laugh as Bucky grins and crawls over you in a way that should be slightly terrifying but is honestly just fucking hot, so that when he’s close enough you grab him by the shirt collar and drag him in for a kiss.

“That never gets old,” Steve murmurs, his mouth quirked in amusement as he settles in next to both of you, but his eyes are intense as he, seemingly content, watches for now. As you break for air, Bucky takes the opportunity to grab the back of Steve’s head and move in for a kiss just as hungry as the one he just gave you.

“It really, really doesn’t,” you say and lick your lips. Bucky’s attention is drawing back to you, as is Steve’s. You pull the shoulder of your shirt aside to show your bra strap and wink at Steve. His eyes go pleasantly wide.

“So we’re really doing the honeymoon, huh?” he asks, a full grin spreading across his face. Bucky looks confused, but intrigued.

“The dress is in no shape to participate, but the rest of it is fine,” you say.

“What’s this?” Bucky asks as you sit up and wrap your arms around him. Mostly to stay up– your core strength is nonexistent.

“Go on Bucky,” Steve says, laying on his side and unbuttoning his pants with one hand. “Make your wife more comfortable.”

Bucky’s eyes shine so bright looking at you that you elect to watch his hands as he starts pulling your shirt up, alternately grazing and dragging his fingers across your skin. “Don’t worry,” you say, lips turned into an expression that feels appropriately devilish. “Your husband won’t keep his hands to himself for long.”

True to form, Steve doesn’t, and soon the three of you are a tangle of limbs and love.

When all is said and done, you’re all in a contented pile.

Except there's one thing missing. You clear your throat. Bucky looks, but Steve doesn’t. You clear your throat again, and this time Steve lifts his head.

“Aren't you forgetting something?” you say and look at Bucky’s one-ring hand and at Steve and at the hand and at Steve and at the hand and at–

“Yeah, what the hell; I thought this was a two-spouse minimum household,” Bucky says. “How am I gonna meet my quota if you hold back on me, Rogers?”

Steve rolls his eyes and flops his hand back on the nightstand which, to you, looks suspiciously empty. “Are you sure, Buck? She’s like a five-in-one special.”

“Nice try,” Bucky says and watches Steve fumble uselessly for a nice ring that isn’t there. “I’ve been putting up with you too long to let you get outta making an honest man of me.”

Steve turns to look and sees the ring isn’t there. You glare at him but he puts his finger up while the loading widget in his brain circles– and then he digs around under his pillow. Bucky waits. You wait. Steve then pulls up his pillows and shoves his arm down the crack between the headboard and the mattress. Bucky shakes with quiet laughter and you gape. “I swear to God if you break my ring, Steven Grant Rogers…”

“The only way it’s getting broken is if it came out of a box of Cracker-Jacks,” he mutters and fishes for it.

“I thought of that but the only Cracker-Jacks I could find had stickers,” you say, not intending to admit to the five different stores you went to and examined thoroughly. You wouldn’t say you’re banned from any of them, but maybe it’s best not to go back to that Wegman’s anymore. At least, not during the night manager’s shift.

Steve stops and looks at you. “Seriously?”

“I thought it would be cute!” You cock your head at him. “Also how long have you known me that you’re still asking that?”

He grins and leans over to give you a kiss– and then props himself up on one arm as he gives Bucky a sweet smile, holding up the (slightly dusty) box. “Hey jerk.”

Bucky snorts. “Hey punk.”

Steve breaks out the soulful eyes and opens the box. “Marry me?”

You snicker to yourself and Bucky sighs as though put upon, but he holds out his hand and Steve slides the ring on. Right on top of yours. “Knew I was stuck with you when you tried to shove me and ended up right on your ass,” he says and kisses Steve. “Yes.”

The next morning you put down the silverware, stick Cracker-Jack stickers on their cheeks, and you all go on in your lives– as husband, husband, and wife.

~The End~

~Omake~

“Wait.” Bucky looks at the rings, then at you. “How did you get my measurements?”

You smile sweetly.

Steve stares at you, and sighs. “Did you have Natasha break in again?”

“No.” They stare at you. “Really!” More staring. “…Maybe.” They glare at you. “It’s Russian Spy Enrichment!” You throw up your hands. “God forbid I help out my friends.”

Both of them groan. It’s okay– as far as you’re concerned, they’re stuck with you.

~ The End (for real!)~

#steve rogers x bucky barnes x reader #captain america reader insert #avengers reader insert

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pseudinymous · 1 year

Text

This is a little late, but I decided that this year I will take my life back, violently if necessary. I’m going to:

- Get my endometriosis (ALL of it) removed in March, using the best gynocological surgeon in the state. He basically just specialises in removing endo by excision all day long. I might finally be free of this highly particular multiple-times-per-month hell that has blighted my life since I was 13.

- Sell the house, or if the price drops too much by March, try to rent it out, since I geographically cannot live there (and no, I don’t give a shit what you think of landlords). There is no other option. I won’t sit here and take a $50,000 loss just to get rid of the damn thing. This will mean paying off a lot of debt associated with the house that was supposed to be paid when it was sold; I am working this down as fast as I can now and will work something out with my creditors with what’s left over in March if I can’t sell at a reasonable price. - Go back to therapy. I use tumblr, of course I’m mentally ill lmao. This is a priority. I’m going back to see my first psychologist who was historically the best one I had. Awesome dude. Also now specialises in people with chronic health conditions. Feeling very relieved I can go back to him.

- Get a different psychiatrist. Current one is only good for prescribing ADHD meds and not much else; difficult to talk to, difficult to explain situations to, straightforward but a bit of a cunt. Going to go find someone who’s less of a cunt about the fact that I need to function properly and not be a risk to myself across more than just office hours, and will actually help me to find a medication arrangement that will safely allow for this.

- Take a trimester off university to recover from doing anatomy over summer (freaking hell it’s a lot of work) and also recover from surgery. Can hopefully use some of the extra time to help work off my debts, too.

- Optimise my heart treatment plan so that I can get more benefit and less fainting and exhaustion spells. I’ll probably have to work pretty closely with my cardiologist for this, but I think it’ll be worth it.

- Stop caring about mental health. No, this sounds stupid, but it’s a thing. I over-think about my mental state and it causes me to get worse when I realise how bad it is (and subsequently obsess on fixing something that is, by all means, presently unfixable hormone problems). An experiment has led to me realising that refusing to acknowledge and ignoring the state of it actually leads to me having WAY better days. So basically, am I capitulating? If the answer is yes, fuck everything and play Pokemon.

- Keep getting kickass grades. Stick my tongue out at everyone who said I couldn’t. Fuck ‘em.

- Prove myself. To myself. Somehow. Prove myself to everyone. Figure out how to present myself as me again, and not some sick frail little waif of a human being. Not oversharing all my illnesses would be a damn good start (of course, this is tumblr, so lol).

It’s a lot, but it’s a plan, and every part of it that I can manage to execute will help.

Then in 2024, I might even dare to learn how to hope.

#rambles

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im-no-jedi · 2 years

Text

MLWTBB: First Time For Everything

aka the (continued) journey into my self insert nonsense✨

chapter summary: a mission from Cid comes with a very surprising caveat in the form of a familiar escort. the Bad Batch also discovers a hidden talent within Hannah that will hopefully help with the mission.

notes: this is a continuation of my story, “My Life With The Bad Batch”; I highly recommend reading that first before this one! I created a few new planets for this story. I’m also not 100% versed in SW terminology, so forgive me if some things are labeled incorrectly! each chapter will be rated accordingly, as opposed to the overall fic. lastly, there is romance in this story. hope you enjoy! 💙

add. notes: this chapter was edited and proofread by my sis @jam-n-ham! thanks sis!! 😋💙 and for those who would like a visual of the dress mentioned near the end, here’s the virtual doll I made as inspiration for it✨

Chapter 2, 2500+ words, rated G (just more awkwardness and pining, you know how it is 😆)

previous chapters: Prologue - Chapter 1

next chapter

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A few minutes passed in silence, with each of the Bad Batch members going about their own business, save for Omega, who was still sticking close to Hunter. Then from around the corner, out of the hallway, came the very recognizable visage of Cid, who promptly rounded up everybody in the room for an announcement.

“What kinda job do ya got for us this time, Cid?” Wrecker asked before Cid could say anything else. “Somethin’ exciting, I hope!”

“Oh, it’ll be exciting alright,” Cid responded. “Mostly because it involves all of you bein’ on your best behavior.”

Everyone looked at each other in confusion. “What does that mean?” Hunter asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“It means that you all got your work cut out for you this time. I’m currently in the process of tryin’ to acquire some... business from a high-profile dignitary. We’ve been in contact for some time now, but haven’t gotten anywhere due to her interests lyin’ more in throwing parties than doing business.” Cid shook her head in disgust. “So, I’ve arranged a meeting to talk in person; these things tend to go better when you talk one on one with someone right to their face. You boys are gonna go along and make sure this meeting happens without any problems, got it?”

“Where is the meeting happening?” Tech inquired.

“Hosnian Prime.”

“That would explain the ‘high-profile’ then,” Echo noted.

“What’s on Hosnian Prime?” Omega asked, cocking her head in curiosity.

Tech stepped forward, already prepared with information to share, as he always did. “Hosnian Prime is an ecumenopolis planet that houses several factories and businesses, such as--”

“Yeah, yeah, save it for the trip there, Goggles,” Cid interrupted, waving her hand near Tech’s face to make sure he would stay quiet. Then she pulled a small data card out of her pocket and flicked it towards Hunter, who caught it with one hand. “That’s got all the info you need about my potential client. I suggest you study up. She won’t be easy to please, I can tell ya that.”

“Gotta say, I’m a bit surprised,” Hunter said as he put the data card away. “I didn’t figure you’d ever wanna try to do business outside of this place.”

“Yeah,” Wrecker added with a laugh. “I don’t think we’ve ever even seen you leave this place!”

“Oh, I’m not gonna be the one doin’ the negotiations,” Cid corrected them. “I’m sendin’ someone else on my behalf. Someone that I’m sure can get the job done right.”

The Clones all looked at each other in confusion. There was someone that Cid actually trusted that much? “Who?” Hunter asked curiously.

Suddenly, a very giddy Hannah came hopping in from the hallway. “Hey guys!” She threw her arms out and posed excitedly behind Cid. “Gueeeeeeess what?”

Hunter was struck with realization, and his eyes went wide.

“Red here will be doin’ all the talking,” Cid said, gesturing to the still posing woman behind her. “You boys are just the escorts. Keep her safe and stay outta trouble, got it?”

The reactions around the room were as varied as the Bad Batch themselves. Wrecker and Omega were visibly excited at the prospect of bringing Hannah along on one of their missions. Tech and Echo began asking questions, wanting to know as many details as possible. And Hunter remained frozen in place, still trying to process everything.

“This is so great!” Omega exclaimed happily. “We’re finally gonna all go on a mission together! Just like you wanted!”

“Yup!” Hannah could hardly contain her giggles. “It’s been a long time coming.”

“You think you’re gonna be up for something like this?” Echo asked her.

“I guess I have to be!” Hannah responded with a chuckle. “It’ll be fine. I’ll have you guys with me after all.”

“Yeah, you will!” Wrecker added, wrapping an arm around Hannah and giving her a squeeze, which sent her into another giggling fit.

Omega turned back to Hunter and said, “Isn’t this great, Hunter? We’re finally bringing Hannah on a mission with us!”

Hunter was still silent. Internally, he was having yet another battle with his emotions. On the one hand, yes, he was looking forward to having Hannah with them, especially since this wasn’t going to be a dangerous mission. But considering the events of the day, he was unsure of how having her around would affect him emotionally. Especially if something did happen during the mission. His mind was suddenly flooded with memories of Volruna, and it made him shiver a bit. He absolutely did not want something like that to happen again.

His thoughts were interrupted by Hannah herself suddenly appearing in front of him with a smug look on her face. “Looks like you and I are headed for another adventure together, Mister Vigilance. Uhh, with everyone else of course. Not just us this time. Unless we get separated again. Which hopefully we won’t. But it’ll be fine if we do! It’s not like it’s bad if it’s just the two of us or anything.” She ended with a nervous laugh that turned into a sigh, with an obvious blush spreading across her face.

A small smirk grew on Hunter’s face and he chuckled uncomfortably. How in the galaxy was he supposed to respond to that? Tell her the truth? No, this wasn’t the time. He had to shift into mission mode. Anything he wanted to say to her could wait until later. Just like every other time he’d wanted to say something to her.

He had to say something though.

“As long as there’s no confetti this time, right?”

What the kriff was that, he immediately thought to himself. He nearly facepalmed, he was so disappointed with himself.

Thankfully, Hannah’s sense of humor was still as quirky as ever, and she threw her head back with an eruption of hardy laughter. Hunter actually sighed with relief, unable to keep himself from smiling at her.

“Alright, enough of that,” Cid said with obvious disgust. “You gotta go get ready, Red.” Before letting Hannah leave, Cid placed a hand on Hannah’s arm. The look Cid gave her gave was serious but encouraging somehow. “Don’t let me down. Keep your wits about you, and don’t let these bozos distract you.” Then she gave Hannah a good pat on the chest. “And remember... keep the fire lit.”

Hannah smiled and nodded at Cid in response before Cid began shooing everyone out of the parlor. “Don’t have too much fun!” she called out as everyone left.

As they all made their way into the streets, Hannah could still hardly contain her excitement. “Oh man, I still can’t believe this is happening. It almost doesn’t feel real. I know I probably shouldn’t be this excited about it, but...” She squealed and rapidly shook her fists in excitement before taking a deep breath. “Alright, ok, I think I’m good now. Mostly. For now.”

“Well, I’m still gonna be excited!” Wrecker exclaimed with a laugh.

“Save some of that energy for helpin’ us get the ship prepped, Wrecker,” Echo said to him.

“Oh right!” Hannah suddenly exclaimed. “I gotta go get ready too.” She looked down at Omega and asked, “Think you can help me for a bit, Baby Girl?”

“Sure!” Omega happily replied.

“What exactly are you getting ready for?” Tech inquired curiously.

“Well, this is a pretty fancy place we’re going to, right?” Hannah answered. “So I gotta look my best. You know, get into the role and all that.”

“Ahh yes, I am familiar with the concept,” Tech responded with a nod.

“Does that mean we gotta change too?” Wrecker asked.

“No, Cid said you guys can stay in your armor,” Hannah replied. “You all are gonna be my bodyguards, after all.”

Wrecker groaned. “Just like at the Prism Palace...”

Hunter’s face scrunched up into a deep scowl. “Hopefully, it’ll be nothing like the Prism Palace.”

“Agreed,” Hannah added, her face also in a scowl.

After that, Hannah told the boys to go ahead and get the ship prepared; her and Omega would meet them there once she was ready. It took significantly less time for the boys to get the ship prepared though, and they ended up waiting around for quite some time without the slightest idea of when the girls were going to show up. Tech used that time to do as much research as he could about the client they were going to meet. Her name was Eldya Madri, and she apparently owned several businesses on Hosnian Prime. Like Cid had said before, she was mostly known for the lavish parties and other extravaganzas that she regularly hosted. She was also known to be quite judgmental and had been known to actually arrest people for offending her.

“Oh, well I’m sure we won’t be a problem then,” Echo sarcastically stated.

“As long as we let Hannah do all the talking, we’ll be fine,” Hunter responded. “That’s why she’s comin’ along in the first place.”

Wrecker chuckled and playfully punched Hunter in the arm. “Bet you’re pretty happy about that, huh?”

A deep exhale came out through Hunter’s nose, and he crossed his arms as he turned away from Wrecker.

“Oh hey!” Wrecker continued, clearly ignoring Hunter’s reaction. “Maybe you can, ya know...” He elbowed Hunter a few times. “Do the thing?”

With an eyebrow raised, Hunter slowly turned back to Wrecker and gave him an exasperated look.

“You know!” Wrecker elbowed him again and leaned in closer, like he was trying to keep his words a secret. “The thing ya couldn’t do earlier?”

Hunter pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Wrecker, this isn’t the time for--”

Suddenly, Omega came running into the docking bay. “We’re here!” She ran up to the others, barely able to contain her excitement. “Sorry we took so long. I was helping Hannah do her makeup. Eyeliner is really hard to apply!”

“Well, where is she?” Echo asked, looking around for Hannah.

With a grand gesture, Omega held her arms out behind her just as Hannah was stepping into the docking bay. Wrecker audibly gasped, while the others went wide-eyed. Hannah was almost unrecognizable in the ensemble she wore. The last time they’d seen her so dressed up was back at the Prism Palace on Volruna, but this wasn’t the same at all. She was wearing a black dress very similar to the one she’d worn at the Prism Palace; in fact, it looked exactly like the same dress, but altered. The sleeves had a sheer orange fabric draped off of them, and an orange belt was wrapped around her waist. A long skirt in the same shade of orange wrapped around her hips and legs, with the front split open by a sheer lacy orange fabric. Orange ribbons decorated her hips, held together by a single bow at the top of the skirt. Long black gloves covered her hands that went up to her elbows, and her neck was decorated with necklaces in shades of gold and a single emerald green pendant. An orange headband ran through her hair, adorned with a single yellow flower on the side. Her lips were painted bright red to match her hair, while her eyes shimmered with an icy blue hue. And most importantly, she looked much happier than she ever did at the Prism Palace.

“So, what do you think?” Hannah asked after coming up to the boys. She did a single twirl and giggled, waiting for their answers expectantly. “Fancy enough?”

All four of them seemed to be equally flabbergasted, and Omega could barely hold back her laughter. Wrecker tried to speak, but only nonsense sounds were coming out of his mouth. Echo chuckled and also tried to speak, but he couldn’t make any noise at all. Tech seemed to be stuck examining the different sections of Hannah’s outfit and didn’t even attempt to speak. And Hunter was completely frozen, his eyes still wide and his mouth agape.

“Don’t overwhelm me with details, guys,” Hannah joked with a snicker.

Echo was the first to finally say something. “Sorry, but who are you and what have you done with Hannah?”

Laughter erupted out of Hannah, even more so after Tech came up and started physically inspecting the different parts of her outfit. “Fascinating... is this your dress from the Prism Palace?”

“Yup,” Hannah proudly responded. “With some personal modifications.”

“You did this yourself?” Tech inquired, adjusting his goggles.

Hannah just proudly nodded in response.

Tech looked extremely impressed, a rare sight for Hannah. “I should be surprised, but I’m merely in continued awe of your skillset, Hannah.”

“Oh stop,” Hannah said playfully and covered her increasingly blushing cheeks with a giggle.

Like a curious child, Wrecker came up beside her, his eyes wide with wonder. “Gee Hannah, I almost didn’t recognize ya at first. I thought you were like, some sort of princess or somethin’ like that.”

Hannah had to cover her mouth to keep from screaming. “Wrecker, oh my gosh...”

“I told you, you looked like a princess,” Omega said, grinning up at her friend.

“I’ll agree with that too,” Echo added. “This fancy lady we’re visiting is gonna have some competition, I guarantee that.”

Clearly getting overwhelmed with the praise from her friends, Hannah began fanning her face and laughed. “You guys are gonna make me cry, come on...”

Echo then elbowed the still frozen Hunter beside him. “You agree, don’t ya, Hunter?”

The gesture barely knocked Hunter out of his stupor. It seemed like he hadn’t even blinked since Hannah first showed up. He had told himself earlier to not act weird when Hannah would show up, but he should’ve known that was a pointless endeavor. Once again, she had blown away all his expectations, and it was taking everything in him to try and keep it together. She was looking at him expectantly now, which didn’t help at all either. In his mind, he was thinking of dozens of different things he wanted to say to her, but nothing was reaching his mouth. He had to keep it simple, nothing fancy. Just tell her the truth, he tried telling himself.

Another elbow from Echo finally knocked the words out of him, almost violently. “Yes, I agree. Completely. You...” He gave her a quick look-over and sighed contentedly. “You look beautiful, Hannah.”

Too much truth, that was too much truth. Hunter felt his face immediately begin to grow scolding hot and loudly cleared his throat before walking into the Marauder without another word.

Everyone watched him leave and then looked at Hannah. Her face had grown so red, it was hard to tell where her hairline began. Echo made a satisfied face and mouthed “you’re welcome” to her before heading inside the ship as well. Omega and Wrecker looked at each other and shared a playful snicker as the little girl began leading her flustered friend into the ship. Tech was the last one left and sighed dejectedly.

“This is going to be a long trip,” he lamented before joining the rest of his family inside the Marauder.

#the bad batch #star wars the bad batch #yay more awkward pining!#I swear to you all I made the design of that dress MONTHS ago #I just so happen to like wearing orange ok??#and red and yellow and blue #THEY'RE MY FAVORITE COLORS OK #I'm totally not gonna use that to my advantage later or anything nope✨#star warz #my storiez

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kdipshit · 1 year

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Souljah For Life ;

I am not writing to please anyone, thats the beauty of coming online and starting at the bottom, with no promotion, no… well thats about it, I haven’t told anybody I’m doing this, I’ve done it before, but never like this. Its kind of scary, but like I said, being scared kind of keeps me cool. I give thanks to jah. I’ve always known that one day I’m gonna have to deal with all of this shit I’ve been pushing down, its kind of exciting and gives me something for my scatterbrain to do lol. I don’t know what writing to post does to me yet, I just know I don’t want to depend on anyone or anything else, and its kind of hard to see a different outcome by doing all I know. Who taught me all I know and how open is their mind? What kind of person are they? Where did they learn that? Why do they believe that, and are they open to broading their horizon?

i will continue to express what ever it is that needs expressing.Ramble writing, lol. I’m sure theres gold in some of these sentences. To put my mind in order enough to contract said sentence, is the struggle itself. When I speak, it comes out jittery, anxious and embarrassing, so I kind of just don’t speak, without looking around after wards. Im grateful because maybe thats why I see myself as such a brilliant writer, I have the right amount of time to process and figure out what I want to say, not right off that bat, but once processed.

See I’m speaking as if thats something I do, Im always saying things I want to do and trying to speak into existence the person I want to be but the thought of me not being able to do it throws me off, but now that we know emotion can only grow from thought, the best move would be to change the thought… right? The thought : everyone is judging me…. Counter thought : No one cares, no they dont, they don’t care. Just speak. Just write. Just express yourself because no one cares if you do or if you don’t. It make me feel good, and I’m sure, I’m sure of it, theres gotta be gold in here.

Anyways girls, skins looking tight, hair hopefully less orange by the time I read this again, weed is up, feeling like a true winner. How could anything go wrong? Looking at life as if it’s someone I’m in love with is the easiest for me, considering how easy and natural love is for this libra. My Venus is in Leo and I think that means I’m confident in my love, which explains me effortlessly. I haven’t felt love in a long time, big S word about it, I guess I just sit here.

I am stronger and wiser than I was the day before. Every ‘now’ moment I find myself in, I am better than the last. I’ve been learning to think differently, now that I’m aware of my power over them, just small things like stopping myself from holding onto the automatic thought and instead changing it to the positive opposite. My younger sister told me she loved me today, but meant it as she loves the person I am, and that I can go through so much and still be a good person afterwards, and not a crackhead or someone who took the ‘easy’ way out, for the record I don’t think that’s the easy way out. She’s someone whose opinion about me I value because of how much I have let her down in the past, with my drinking and absolute psychotic episodes, I’ve always wanted to be the good older sister, and I’m here. This is usually around the time I start to self sabotage, but I choose to feel so much differently, instead actually embracing the change instead of running away to my old ways, just because I know them so well. I’m so excited on my new journey with my new flower bed of a brain. I brought a new sweater today and I swear to god im the cutest thing ever.

My mind seems kind of empty and its so freeing, The vibration that the music projects is feeling nek level kahi. I’m here, I’m in this moment, I feel okay….. I feel level, I feel high, I feel so grateful, I feel full of love energy, I feel light blue, yellow, green. I feel good here. Blue and yellow together is so beautiful and eye opening and makes you feel so fresh right??? Thats how I feel anyways.

#new blog #blogging #actually bpd #actually borderline #actually bipolar

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annacantdie · 1 year

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written 5/22/22

The year I was fifteen was easily the worst year of my life. To be fair, I am young, so I don't have a lot of competition between the other 9 or 10 years I can actually remember, but it was traumatic nonetheless. I like to describe my life in ways that diminish the things that have happened to me. A mindset portrayed by hollow phrases such as “life just dealt me a shitty hand of cards”, and “i make the best of what i’ve been given” Those describing my generally dissatisfying life in a nonchalant way, but the way i’ve coped with my hardships has been anything but nonchalant.

I frequently wonder what I'd say to my fifteen year old self if I was given the opportunity to have a conversation with her. She was a troubled shadow of the person I am now, and while I'm in no way completely stable or healed of that girl I was, I think that my younger counterpart would be surprised at how far I’ve come. When i was fifteen i attempted suicide. That statement has been so ingrained into my speech, between having to explain to doctors, therapists, mentors, and friends, it does not feel like any sort of a big deal. Everybody goes through rough patches, my brain repeats, why would mine be any different? These statements heavily downplay the intensity of every emotion I felt at that period of my life. Every single feeling was heightened to an intense degree. A happy moment with a friend didn’t give me a comforting sense of joy, it gave me a manic state of excitement. A snappy moment from a parent didn't give me a quick sting to be shaken off, it sent me into a panic attack. I was far from but the mellow persona i’ve adapted now, I was an ticking time bomb simply waiting to go off at any moment. So many things had built up inside of me, I was absolutely unstable, and I truly couldn’t see a future where I wasn’t dead. I had no desire to be alive, and that statement isn’t said lightly. I genuinely lost my will to live, and the intrusive self harming thoughts that had haunted me ever since I could remember were becoming far more actual considerations for me than far off ideas driven by random emotional situations. I’d grown up always thinking I'd be better off dead, even happier dead, but those thoughts stayed locked away in a nightmarish area of my consciousness, never at the forefront where ideas were actually given a sense of consideration. Then, as was probably expected, I made the decision to end my own life. I attempted, failed, and woke up in the morning disappointed. But, unsurprisingly as the extremely depressed person I was at that time, I was not willing to put in the effort to come up with a new idea to try again. I could barely force myself to get out of bed to pee, I wasn’t about to come up with an intricate plan to take my own life after my first one didn’t work.

So, with the contextual nonsense out of the way, I think I've figured out an idea of what’d I’d say to that deeply troubled girl, and while I can’t present this to her, I might as well put it out there. Hopefully it’ll heal that part of me that's still that broken fourteen year old girl, or maybe it’ll help someone else. I don’t really care which.

Hey man, how are ya? Not well, I know, I was there. Literally. I don’t fucking know if this will help, like at all, but I wanna tell you all the things that get better. SO much of the shit that feels like it's suffocating you right now works out, and while things haven’t made it to perfection yet, as of now at least, there’s a much higher level of breathing room two years from where you're at now, I promise.

Let’s start out with the lighthearted stuff, you've got a killer haircut right now. You learned how to make your natural hair look insanely good, and you have the coolest shaggy, curly, healthy head of hair ever. And you got bangs, they look amazing. To top it off you finally learned to dress the way you want, and people finally associate you with having good style, just like you’ve always wanted. You still listen to the same music, but you've found so much other cool new shit that gets you through the day better than anything else can, and you still love to draw more than anything else in this world. You've got three amazing best friends, a plethora of other cronies, and a boyfriend you're absolutely head over heels for. Mom finally loosens up and you've got a phone with every social media your heart could want, completely unmonitored. And finally you’re comfortable with your sexuality and are generally out as a queer person. While there's so many more little things that I think you’d enjoy to hear, I feel like with those more significant ones out of the way we should address the elephant in the room.

We’re alive. Crazy, right?

I know that if you had to put everything you owned on it, you’d bet you’d be dead by seventeen. But look at where you are now! I know you well, you are me after all, and so I'm aware it is not comforting to you for me to sing your praises, to say how proud I am of you, I know it only makes you feel like shit. That pathetic feeling where people praise you for accomplishments, the ones that while are monumental for you would not be monumental for the average person, doesn't go away, but hopefully it’ll mean a little something coming from your future self. I’m proud of you. Of us. Of me. The road ahead of you is difficult, and does not come without challenge, new and old, but you kill it. Never does it become easy, you will struggle, you will scream, you will cry, and you will consider a take two on the whole death by your own hand thing, but you keep your head up. With every piece of shit that fucks you over, every freak of nature type accident that absolutley screws up your wellbeing, and every good person that unintentionally hurts you, you keep on walking. Sometimes you pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get through it, and sometimes a kind soul offers a hand. Life doesn’t get easier per say, but by god you get good at getting through it. Keep up the good work, stay stubborn, and stay driven. It’ll help you more than you know.

That's all for now I guess, I hope that provides you some sort of comfort, and I can't wait for you to fully experience the person you're growing to be.

L8R SK8R

Best wishes,

Anna-Claire Chupp

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openly-journaling · 2 years

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8/3/2022 3am Bobby: god dammit.. I feel so fake but every time I question it I feel like I'm actually me. How can I be a fictive in a system.

How can I be Bob Aken when I've clearly fallen so far from who I was! All I wanted my entire life was to be acknowledged and looked up to. And I couldn't even get that here! Some dreams aren't meant to be.

I'm an ambitious man..And while I may have found new ambitions.. I can't help but think about how I went from this.. cunning genius man to.. to.. I don't even know what I am now?

God I was so toxic when I first got here too. Even going so far as to become demanding to someone and pushy because I wanted something from them they couldn't give.

Now I just feel...

Mistaken. I feel like a fool. An idiot.

I want to atone for my mistakes. Start over.. but I know if I dared try.. I'd never be looked at the same way. And even if I tried.. I probably wouldn't be allowed some things.

I have loyalties now.

I know that person will never see this but.. I can't explain just how sorry I am. I kept overstepping boundaries, I kept getting ahead of myself, I kept ruining things and I'll never stop blaming myself for it. But I can't stop thinking about all the good times either. And what I wouldn't give to have a good friend back. But that's all behind me now and.. I just have to keep trying to be a better man.

It wasn't that I did anything to physically hurt the person. I had no such intentions. But I sometimes wish to hell and back that I.. that the system itself didn't exist. I wish I wasn't who I am. I wish.. I didn't exist anymore. I hate responsibilities based around feelings. I hate.. so many things. I've been wanting to cut again but I shouldn't. Nor do I have the right tools that would allow me to clean the wound properly when finished. And I don't have a clean blade either, just a greasy one.

I hate myself. I hate what I did to them. I hate everything. I hate being here, I feel so fraudulent. I hate it!

I still love and adore those memories, those laughs... Why did I have to go on and ruin it because I thought anything.. I.. I'm sorry I was toxic to you. You have better friends and I had no business intruding where I did. I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry..

How is this real? Any of it? You know my mistake was loving you because of how you acknowledged me. It's all I wanted. You acknowledged me in ways nobody else would. I loved that. But as much as I loved that.. I shouldn't have been so toxic. As indirect as it was.. accidental more like- I was still bad. I hope if you ever see this that maybe.. you'll forgive me. And we can just say Hi again. I'm sorry if I ruined how you view me.

I'm sorry if I hurt you, scared you, cornered you or overwhelmed you. I'm sorry if I made you feel small. I swear I never meant to. I realize my mistakes now.

These last few months jobless have given me more than enough time to figure that out. The lonesome hours I've spent feeling trapped..

I'll be out of it soon, hopefully. Today I take the driving test at 9:30am. Maybe I can finally let you go, too... Maybe I can actually move forward.

#obake speaks #obake #bob aken #fictive #osdd #osdd system #tw: self harm mention #apology #feeling fake #open journal #not day listing this #i really am sorry

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muninnhuginn · 3 years

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I'm probably forgetting some instances here and my chronology may be muddled because this is mostly off the top of my head (edit: okay nvm I rewatched the specific bits), but I really love how white is used in Wen Kexing's wardrobe in association with "Zhen Yan". And in some ways with turning points of his overall character arc throughout the series.

I'm going to go through this in the order these events happened to wkx rather than in series order just to follow through the chara better. Mentioning beforehand as well though I'm guessing most people reading this will already know that white tends to symbolise stuff like purity/innocence and, most importantly to this, death in Chinese culture.

Okay, so when we first meet wkx as a child as a disciple with zzs, he's wearing white robes. He's a fairly innocent kid at this stage and he was allowed to have a pretty happy childhood overall (even if he later regretted not studying more) until Zhao Jing came into the picture and everything else happened. For much of the series, wkx views his Zhen Yan identity as functionally dead (which he literally spells out in his mini confrontation with Shen Shen) and so there's almost a veil of mourning around these flashbacks for both wkx and the audience.

Then we come to the flashback where his parents are killed (ep 24). Wkx is dreaming as he remembers so obviously in white underrobes (is there an actual term for this? I feel weird calling them pyjamas) so the association is there even though Zhen Yan himself isn't wearing full white, just white robes beneath his outer robes. The flashback ends with Tragicomic Ghost giving him Meng Po soup and him forgetting Zhao Jing's part in this whole business (this basically draws the line between Zhen Yan and Wen Kexing). The deaths in these scenes are both literal (his parents) and that of himself in him giving up his memories. (Wkx then awakens and has his conversation with zzs about the latter's past, but I'm not sure that really fits the pattern here.)

Ep 23, we see wkx being "taught" by the valley king of the time that the only way to survive in ghost valley is to kill. He's wearing a white shirt here and is referred to as "ah xing" confirming he's now killed the Zhen Yan part of his identity as part of his own survival. The valley king makes sure to punctuate his "lesson" with violence.

Which leads onto the next chronological instance (ep 21), where wkx uses violence himself to topple the former valley king. This scene was actually the one which first made me think there was an association because his choice to wear white in this scene is just... questionable, but this scene is coming on the heels of the Four Seasons childhood scenes and so there's that connection there. Anyway, he is wearing white, but it's marred a bit by, well, the blood. This is where he becomes the ghost valley king. The death here works similarly to with his parents where there's both the literal death of the king as well as wkx's identity prior to taking on the ghost valley kind title (and we do get hints with the entire "Auntie Luo" thing with Tragicomic Ghost that things did change as he took on this persona.)

Now, unless I'm forgetting something, wkx doesn't really wear white again after this point (excluding obviously his night clothes) until his confrontation with Zhao Jing. We get to see his development away from all the murk of the ghost valley back towards him being a "human". This scene is almost immediately after he's faked his death which within the plot is something you kind of have to peer at quizzically in hopes it'll make more sense next you look, but in context of his character evolution lets you have a little death/rebirth narrative. He confronts Zhao Jing not as Wen Kexing the Ghost Valley King but as Zhen Yan of Healer Valley. And he wears white as a contrast to everything else he's worn as ghost valley king to reclaim his Zhen Yan identity from the dead. It's definitely a big leap for his character even though he hasn't cut his ties with ghost valley entirely.

Finally - and I wasn't going to include this bit at first because it's not his clothes - you get to his very last appearance/s with his white hair. I know the drama ending is fairly controversial and the white hair stuff is a pretty common trope regardless, but I'd like to think that in this case it's a continuation of where wkx was at during his confrontation with Zhao Jing and hey, he gains the white hair after yet another "death/rebirth". White hair isn't something like clothes that can just be easily swapped; it's something that's part of him now. Essentially, he has made peace with himself and his history. Sure, he can hardly be called "innocent" again at this stage, but he's reconciled the Zhen Yan parts of himself with the Wen Kexing and the Ghost Valley King parts of himself.

#literally just spat this out onto the keyboard so not particularly tidy but the more I thought about it the more instances cropped up #word of honor #word of honor spoilers #meta #attempted at least #hopefully someone else can figure out how to actually explain this better than me #I left the ep numbers for the stuff I checked anyway #otherwise you just have me like 'okay I know everyone hates the white hair and fake death but if you look at it under a kaleidoscope--#bonus round: which undead chara wears white throughout the series? if you said yby you'd be correct

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mypoisonedvine · 3 years

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𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙮 𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙖𝙡 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧 (𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘝𝘐𝘐 - 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙡𝙚) || sub!bucky barnes x dominatrix!reader

(𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘐) (𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘐𝘐) (𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘐𝘐𝘐) (𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘐𝘝) (𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘝) (𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘝𝘐)

𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 || the finale.

𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩 || 3.5k

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 || fluff, angst, implied smut, domestic goodness, more EMOTIONS!!!

six months ago...

Bucky wrung his hands a few times before knocking on your door, feeling his heart beat a little faster when he could hear the sounds of your footsteps on the other side. He'd been dreaming of a day like this for so long— the day he finally acted on this secret obsession he had, the day he stopped fantasizing and started realizing— but all this time, part of him had never really thought he'd go through with it. I mean, there's a pretty big difference between jerking off to videos of dominant women and actually getting spanked, slapped, and choked by a dominatrix after paying her an insane amount of money per hour.

But frankly, Bucky needed a big difference from what he'd been doing. He'd been alone for a little too long, he needed someone else's touch before he lost his mind. And he knew that he needed something more substantial than a hook-up, someone who wouldn't expect him to be dominant at all. Even in a kink-less, vanilla hook-up, there’s still an onus of dominance, that’s what Bucky had realised. He’s still supposed to initiate, to guide, to be fully in control… and he hates how it feels to be in control. He’s not used to it, and it doesn’t feel right, and it just makes him sure he’ll do something wrong. So here he was, standing at your door, hoping you’d take away his freedom to do something wrong.

The latch turned and you opened it.

Fuck.

You looked great. Too great, almost overwhelming. Even better than the pictures on your website.

You looked so much softer than the women he saw whenever he searched up femdom porn (yes, that was pretty much the first thing he did once he figured out google— thankfully he had also figured out incognito mode), but your presence was twice as commanding. Your eyes scanned over him quickly and your face stayed annoyingly stoic.

You invited him in; And since then, you’d had him wrapped around your finger.

Even knowing to a certain extent what he was getting into, he could’ve never prepared for how quickly he’d fall for you. Not that he was exactly new to the feeling, but he thought guilt might eat him alive: because of course he felt awful for developing real feelings for you. You were just doing your job and he was falling into the same trap that probably every dumbass client fell into.

Or maybe they actually knew what they were doing and understood how to separate fantasy from reality. He couldn’t decide which one was worse.

He spent a few hours trying to decide while staring up at his ceiling— certainly a better way to spend the time than being social or taking care of unfinished business, right?

But leave it to you to change everything with just three words. Make me yours.

He hadn’t stopped thinking about those words— or about the way you said them— since the moment you spoke them. He hadn’t stopped changing his mind on if he could really believe you were his or not. He wanted to, more than anything; and in those brief moments he did, he felt a joy that he had no idea what to do with.

He frowned as he turned his back towards the mirror, looking over his shoulder to watch his finger run over the fading scars on his back. They’d be gone for good in less than a week, but he knew you had left plenty of permanent marks on him— just unfortunately not those that anyone else could see. He liked the way these scars looked under your fingertips much more than his; he liked everything about being in your arms.

Since you’d texted him to ask if you could have a serious talk with him soon, he worried he wouldn’t get to feel that again. In fact, nothing worried him more.

He was typically antsy as he waited for you to answer the door— he had been since that very first time so long ago— but this felt entirely different: not as jittery, but a thousand times more anxious.

At first he’d been wishing you’d answer it right away, but then he heard your bolt turn and panic landed on him like a dangling anvil dropping on a cartoon character. Suddenly the last thing he wanted was for you to open that door, to be standing there looking all perfect and shit, to smile at him and greet him and invite him in. He didn’t want it; he couldn’t take it.

But you did it all anyway, though it was obviously and immediately a new situation entirely, compared to every other time you’d done it.

You were dressed differently, still formal but definitely toned down. Nothing sexual, at least not objectively. And your smile, though it still made his heart skip a beat just like always, was noticeably softer and maybe a bit sadder.

He stepped in past you, and you surprised him by sitting next to him on the couch rather than across from him on your chair. “Do you want, like, water or anything?” you asked, breaking the silence for a moment.

“No, I’m fine,” he nodded.

Bucky had gotten pretty good at silence these past few years; it didn’t bother him, in fact he barely even noticed it. But this silence made him remember why everyone else hated silence so much: it was heavy and thick and made him overcome with the need to blurt something out. “Everyone calls me Bucky,” he finally admitted. You smiled.

“Do you want me to call you that?” you asked.

He considered your question, trying to imagine you saying it. “I… I used to think it would be better, but now I like the way you say ‘James’ too much.”

“If you thought it would be better, why did you ask me to call you James?” you pressed.

“Because I didn’t want you to know who I was.”

“I know who you are,” you informed him. “I always knew.”

He swallowed as the pit formed in his gut, glancing away to hide from your gaze. “You did a good job of… of pretending you didn’t. You never seemed scared of me.”

“Because I wasn’t. And I’m not.”

He couldn’t imagine how; but then again, if there was any truly fearless woman, he figured it would be you. “I thought you’d beat me up better if you knew what I’d done,” he admitted, almost smiling but not exactly feeling very happy. “Thought you might want… revenge.”

“Surprised that didn’t make you want to tell me.”

He laughed a bit at that. “Yeah, fair enough.”

You asked him a very different question next, one that made his throat suddenly dry: "Have you ever had something that was all your own?" you spoke gently.

"Not for a long time…" he trailed off, letting his eyes unfocus as he stared down at your floor before finding the courage to look up at you again. “Is that what you wanna be?” he asked, already wishing he hadn’t said anything in case it was too presumptuous, but you just smiled back at him in a shy sort of way.

“Something like that,” you mitigated.

His eyes darted around your face— from your eyes glancing away, to your lips that you gnawed on for a moment, to the little crease between your brows— and he found himself leaning forward before he even realized it. “Can I kiss you?” he asked quietly.

You didn’t answer, you just kissed him first; he was so relieved that you did it, too, that you took control so easily and just let him melt into your kiss. As good as it felt to submit to you, he enjoyed the new freedom he had in this moment as well— the freedom to reach up and grab your waist, to brush his hand over your hair, to tilt his head and deepen the kiss further.

It was hard to define exactly where it went from innocent to sensual to sexual, but by the time you were straddling his lap and running your fingers through his hair, it was definitely sexual.

“I want you,” you breathed against his lips.

“Have me,” he offered immediately, “I’m yours. Always was.”

He breathed in sharply when you moved your hips just right to rub up against his swelling cock through his jeans, making him grip your waist a bit harder. “Good boy,” you whispered. “You’re so good, James.”

He believed you this time, finally.

For your first real date, he took you to Coney Island. Not the classiest affair, and he promised to take you somewhere really nice next, but you didn’t mind. It was jarring to see you in casual clothes for the first time, something summer-y and light which was everything opposite to how he was used to seeing you; but he liked it, and he liked knowing a secret about you as you walked through a crowd of carnival-goers that were none the wiser.

He walked you through the fair and explained how he remembered it, showed you the few things that hadn’t changed much. He bought you a hot dog and even won you a prize at one of the games; that one where you throw a baseball and it measures your pitch speed? Yeah, it’s rigged, but he pitched lefty and it seemed to even everything out. (It’s not cheating, okay? It’s beating them at their own game, literally.)

So with a massive teddy under one arm and his waist wrapped in your other, you two walked through the winding pier, under twinkling lights and over walkways towering over the ocean below. And then you fooled around a bit on the ferris wheel. It was the ideal Coney Island experience, for sure.

Bucky didn’t have a ton of friends, per se, but he was excited for you to meet them. Meeting friends was certainly a step, though; hopefully a step you were willing to take, but he didn’t want to ask you to do it without at least having a title to introduce you with.

“I want you to be my girlfriend,” he finally told you.

“I kinda thought I already was,” you laughed.

And so, with more pride than he might have ever had for anything before, Bucky finally got to take you to meet everyone (‘everyone’ being a mix of his friends and his coworkers, who may or may not be his friends because he couldn’t always tell) and say “I want you guys to meet my girlfriend.”

Of course you were amazing with all of them; you continued that tactful “I know who you are but I’m pretending I don’t to be nice” thing that you’d started with him, and everyone seemed to appreciate it. You cracked a couple jokes, everyone laughed.

You lied about how you and Bucky met, or at least answered very strategically. Everyone at least pretended to believe you.

Afterwards, they all said something about how great you were or about how lucky he was. The only thing he ever said back was “I know.”

Now that he could kiss you without breaking any rules, he never wanted to stop. He hardly ever did, actually. He kissed you basically whenever he could get the chance; you two didn’t even go out much anymore because he wasn’t very good at keeping his hands to himself, but you weren’t exactly complaining about staying in. You were too busy kissing him back, and teasing him mercilessly while you were at it, to do that.

You had already found the fastest way to get him needy and begging, not that any way took very long. If you kissed him while you straddled his lap, wrapping your arms around him and slowly grinding against him, he lost it in minutes. And you really seemed to get a kick out of watching him lose it, just as much as always.

It made him realize that the way you looked at him before, in sessions and scenes together, was a lot less of an act than he’d assumed at the time. He just thought you were a really good actress, or that he was really whipped; and maybe the first was true, and the second was absolutely true, but regardless it had become clear that you had it almost as bad as he did from the beginning. It gave him even more respect for how well you controlled yourself, he certainly hadn’t had much self-control at the time— after all the whole ordeal was about losing control, and occasionally about trying to gain it back.

He didn’t ask you to quit your job. He didn’t want or expect you to; but you did cut down your hours, which gave the two of you more time together.

To be totally honest, part of him got a bit titillated to imagine you with your other clients. He didn’t like the idea of other men touching you, but he smirked at the thought of them begging to touch you and being denied; he liked knowing that you didn’t do with them even half of the stuff you’d done with him when he was your client.

But he wasn’t your client anymore. He was your boyfriend, and he wanted the world to know it.

six months later...

He let you struggle to reach the top shelf for a moment, just because you looked cute on your tip-toes with the tip of your tongue sticking out of the corner of your mouth, before he finally relented and helped you grab the bottle of rice wine vinegar.

“Thanks,” you smiled as he set it in the cart.

After that you let him grab everything, content to stand on the end of the cart and push you around as you reminded him what else you needed.

“We’re out of Captain Crunch!” you remembered as he passed the cereal aisle, pointing to try to get him to turn.

“Yes, and we need to stay that way,” Bucky explained sternly, “that shit is addictive. Only way to avoid it is to not have it in the house.”

You frowned but accepted that he was absolutely right, though you groaned when he took you to the refrigerated section to stock up on chicken breasts. “I swear, you would eat these for breakfast if you didn’t think I’d judge you for it,” you joked.

“What’s wrong with chicken breasts?”

“They’re just so… bland!”

“Not if you season them right,” he corrected.

“Which you don’t,” you rolled your eyes. “Come on, at least splurge on some chicken thighs. They’re basically the same but so much more flavorful.”

“Fine, but no more making fun of my cooking,” Bucky decided, placing the breasts back on the shelf and grabbing two packs of thighs instead. “I’m still adapting to 21st century sensibilities.”

“Right,” you nodded, though he caught your smile in the corner of his eye— you knew he couldn’t exactly claim to still be as conservative as he was raised to be in every way.

Like any well-planned grocery run, it ended at the frozen section where you got some fruit bars and frozen vegetables (you had this theory that frozen vegetables tasted better in fried rice than fresh ones, and so far you’d proven him right) and he got a pizza to have for dinner in a pinch. When shopping alone before, he always did self-checkout to avoid being seen anymore than he had to… he still did it with you, but he didn’t even think about who might be looking at him, because all he saw was you.

You drove for this trip, and he always felt oddly soothed by riding passenger with you at the wheel. He liked to close his eyes and lean back a bit, or occasionally look over at you (but if he did it too much you complained that he was being creepy and distracting you). It shouldn’t be too much of a surprise that he enjoyed the feeling of you taking control, considering everything, but it was one of those little ways that he hadn’t expected. He just felt so comfortable, so safe with you, and never he felt like he was a burden for asking you to take the lead when he didn’t trust himself with it. And that applied to everything— driving, cooking, speaking up in crowds, all those little things that sometimes made him anxious.

There were some things he didn’t have any trouble being dominant about, though. He was very protective of you, for example, and tended to be uptight about how late you went out for walks or where you should be going alone. And he didn’t struggle to ask you for what he wanted— he was getting a lot better at asking for help, specifically.

He used to ask you to say that you loved him, instead of just saying ‘I love you’ himself, because for some reason it was easier to make you do it first. It started as something he’d beg for in the throes of passion, fingers digging into your skin as his eyes watered (as they often did in intimate moments): please, say you love me— jus’ need to hear you say it, please? And you were always sweet about it in return, of course I love you, James, my good boy, I love you so so much. But then he’d ask you to say it whenever he felt like it— he’d come up behind you while you were reading or cooking or something and kiss the top of your head or the shell of your ear and try to act nonchalant as he asked you love me, right?

You’d laugh and roll your eyes before you answered, but it was, thankfully, always a ‘yes.’ Eventually you figured out how often you needed to say it to make him stop asking all the time, which was probably a little too often.

“I love you,” you blurted out randomly as you turned on your signal and leaned a bit to make sure it was safe to make a left— case in point.

“I love you too,” he answered back with a smile.

“I don’t mind saying it so often,” you added, “but you know that I love you even when I’m not saying it, right? I love you all the time.”

It was a simple question, probably mostly rhetorical, but it hit him harder than he expected. “Yeah, I know,” he managed to get out evenly enough that you didn’t notice he was tearing up a bit.

He put the groceries away while you took the trash out; you liked to keep the fridge pretty organized, and it was an adjustment at first, but by now Bucky had it down pat. Before you, he hadn’t even considered that the contents of a refrigerator could be aesthetically pleasing.

Dinner was leftovers in front of the TV— you two were almost done with Frasier, but after that you had ten seasons of Friends to get through. You had tried to encourage him to watch more challenging stuff— you know, True Detective, Hannibal, dark cerebral stuff with arguably more artistic merit than classic sitcoms— but Bucky had had enough darkness in his life that he didn’t need it in his fiction. Maybe he’d find the time to catch up on the last 80 years of dramas and murder mysteries after he caught up on the last 80 years of comedy.

After dinner you were going to do yoga and Bucky, not in the mood to embarrass himself with that, retired to the bedroom a bit early to read his book— he’d heard a lot about this Harry Potter guy and now that he was on the fourth book and could hardly put it down, he understood the hype. He related a bit to the unwilling war hero in its protagonist; most of the time the series enthralled him, but occasionally something would hit too deep and he’d have to put it away for a couple days. At the moment, though, he was in one of the easy parts where it was just about schoolwork and childhood antics.

He instinctively glanced at the door when he heard you open it— he wasn’t sure how long it had been time-wise, but he’d gotten through quite a few pages— but he only quickly looked up at you as you shut the door behind you, before returning his attention to the book he was reading. “So, Bucky…” you began.

“Yeah?” he mumbled.

“James.”

It wasn’t any one thing that got his attention— not just the tone of your voice or the way it got a bit deeper, not just the look you gave him, not just the way the air of the room seemed to shift all at once. It was everything about you that made his body react instantly. He shut the book and set it aside, sitting up straight to look at you expectantly.

And you seemed to notice his instinctual obedience, considering you just barely smirked at him, raising an eyebrow as he spoke his reply: “Yes, Mistress?”

#sub!bucky barnes x dominatrix!reader #sub!bucky barnes x domme!reader

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mercy-burning · 3 years

Text

Myth or Movie

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: Unbeknownst to the two of them, Y/N and Spencer's children have worked up a plan to get them to meet... Category: SMUT (18+) Content: Strong language, oral sex (female receiving), penetrative/unprotected sex, someone is misgendered (nothing too bad, it’s very brief, and it’s sincerely apologized for by the person who misgenders) Word Count: 4.2k

MASTERLIST

NOTE: This is my 2nd entry for Pom’s ( @imagining-in-the-margins ) Enemies To Lover’s Writing Challenge! This one was one of the prompts she provided: You and (Character)'s kids don't get along, so you have to have a talk. Turns out you... really really get along... and I couldn’t wait to tackle it! I believe my exact words were: “I’m gonna Parent Trap these bitches”... So do with that what you will lol

———

"I'm so sorry I'm late!"

Two heads turn to stare at me as I burst through the doors. I'm out of breath from running through the building, something the staff really didn't seem to appreciate, though their shouts and annoyed glances were the last thing on my mind.

As I try to catch my breath, the two heads stand, and suddenly I feel a lot smaller.

One of them I recognize— Principal Anteros. I'd met with her before over some of Sky's academic achievements, all positive things, which is why today's circumstances make being in this office rather uncomfortable.

It's also why I seem to shrink with embarrassment at my tardiness— and appearance. Waitressing has its benefits, but today's whirlwind of phone calls and a mention at meeting another parent are not any of them.

Speaking of, the other person in the room is one I've never seen before. He's taller than both Anteros and I, extremely well dressed, and probably the most intimidatingly beautiful human being I'd ever met. I can barely meet his eyes, and so I try not to think about what he's doing here—to think about having to talk to him.

I shrink even further.

"Ms. Y/L/N," Principal Anteros greets. Thankfully she doesn't sound too upset given the circumstances. "Please, have a seat."

I do, brushing off my uniform as if that will somehow help my appearance. The soft leather of the chairs, however comfortable they might be, fail to bring me any comfort at all.

"As I'm sure you've guessed already, this is Doctor Reid, Vivian's father."

Great, he's a fucking doctor? This already bodes well for me...

Regardless of my reservations, I turn to him and give a faint smile. He waves in turn, and for the time being I'm extremely glad he doesn't insist on shaking my hand.

"It's nice to meet you," he says, surely nothing but a formality.

"You, too," I say quickly, then turn back to Principal Anteros. "Your phone call sounded urgent... Is everything alright?"

As soon as I say it, I feel kind of dumb. Because of course everything isn't alright. My child's principal called a meeting with another parent, and that can never mean anything good, not to mention the fucking intimidation and awkwardness in the room right now. I almost apologize, trying to explain that that wasn't exactly what I meant to get across, but then I would have just been talking for way too long, embarrassing myself further.

Once again, I'm thankful for Anteros's ability to move the conversation along. "I'm not sure, but it doesn't seem so. I only bring this to attention because Sky and Vivian are both stellar students. They've never had any disciplinary issues or difficulties with other students..."

"No one's hurt, right?" Mr. Reid asks. I know he's just concerned for his child, but for some reason it feels like an attack on me, like he assumes my kid had something to do with it.

"No, no one's hurt. Thankfully there weren't any physical altercations. But it seems your girls are quite... loud."

The doctor looks like he wants to say something, but I'm quick to jump in before he can. "Sorry... Sky is non-binary. They use they/them pronouns."

I half expect one or either of them to make a big deal or just roll their eyes at me, as most people seem to do when I correct them on the matter, but Anteros gives a sincere apology and Reid probably couldn't have cared any less.

I still can't tell if I like him or not...

But that doesn't matter right now.

"What do you mean by loud?" I continue.

Anteros sighs. "Well, while there hasn't been any physical violence, your kids seem to have very heated arguments, usually during lunch or in the hallway in passing... We thought maybe we could resolve it here since, like I said, they're both excellent students, but then it started escalating to classroom arguments... It's a lot of screaming..."

I have never known Sky to raise their voice at anyone, not even in a situation where I probably would have. Lord knows I'm thankful they don't have my impatience and tendency to get pissed off easily...

So what happened that was so bad, it made them snap?

"You... You're sure you mean Vivian is acting out like this?" Reid asks slowly, and I can't stop myself from laughing out loud.

"Come on, she's a professional. This has been going on for weeks, in her school, I'm sure she would know if it was your kid having a screaming match with someone else..."

This time Doctor Reid actually looks over at me, an eyebrow raised, and though I very much believe what I've just told him, the way he's looking at me right now drops my heart straight down to my stomach, like he's the principal and I'm the student acting out—No, it's worse than that... I feel like he's a disappointed parent, but not with Vivian, with me.

I avoid his intimidating stare and look down at the ground. "Sorry... I'm just... This isn't like Sky, either, I don't know what to do..."

"Well, usually when we have these sort of disputes, we like to have the students talk it out amongst themselves with a moderator present. But we've tried that, and it seems that they still haven't made any progress. Now, I know your children are good at heart, and it seems like you both are excellent parents— You know your children better than anyone here ever could. So, I'm proposing the two of you take a meeting some time and try to figure out how to settle this."

Seriously? If it hasn't been made clear already, this man is a doctor of some kind, planets away from my league in any capacity, and I can just picture the two of us in a screaming match close to what I imagine our children's looked like...

Maybe we can just e-mail.

"Okay," he agrees evenly, and I'm surprised he seems this calm considering I've just practically yelled at him... "I have free time this afternoon if you want to talk it over."

"I have to get back to work, but I get done at five," I sigh, wanting to get this over with. "Are you free then?"

"Mhm."

"Good," Anteros chirps, standing and leaving Doctor Reid and I to follow suit. "Perhaps over the weekend we can get this settled."

I sure as hell hope so.

———

"Ms. Y/L/N, wait!"

I have no idea what he could possibly want from me now that we've set a time and place to talk tonight, but I'm just praying desperately that he doesn't want to take this time alone in the parking lot to get back at me for accosting him in Anteros's office...

Thankfully, his face when he approaches seems rather kind.

"You can call me Y/N..."

"Right," he says, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets and nodding. "I'm Spencer."

"Spencer... So, um... Did you need something?"

"O—Oh, I just... I know you have to get back to work so I'll make this short, but I wanted to see if you wanted to do, uh... dinner tonight?"

"Excuse me?"

"Well, I just figured since we probably didn't expect for our weekend to go this way... We should make it worth it?"

"Are you really trying to turn this into a date?"

"W— No, not really, I just... You know, I thought it might be nice to... make this less like a chore, you know? A—And don't feel like you have to say yes, it was just a thought, I'm sorry if I made this weirder..."

The fact that I still can't figure this man out bothers me, but right now he's blushing, and he looks like he's trying to save himself from embarrassment, and it's so fucking adorable that I don't really care that I was just annoyed.

So I tell him, "Sure. Why not?"

"Really?"

"Yeah... Besides, Lord knows I haven't gone out for dinner in a long time."

The doctor is relieved, a smile creeping up on his lips that suddenly tugs at my insides and makes me wish for a second that it really is a date he's offering... "Okay, good. Do you want to meet at Waterstone, seven o'clock?"

The excitement starts to drain from me as he says it, followed by an incoming wave of embarrassment. "Oh, man, that... That place is kind of expensive, I don't—"

"Oh, it's okay, I'll pay for everything. I'll even wait outside for you so we can go in together if you'd like..."

Why he's being so nice to me I have no idea, but it's making my annoyance melt and my heart start to beat faster, and I really don't know how to feel about that. In fact I'm pretty sure it's weird as fuck given the circumstances.

But all I have to do is make it through this weekend, hopefully all will be back to normal, and I won't ever have to think about it ever again.

"Alright... It's a date."

———

Out of all the scenarios I'd pictured for the end of the night, this definitely had not been one of them.

I finished my shift at the diner, imagining on my drive home the look on his face when I inevitably showed up with something on my face or stained on my dress; Instead I showed up to Waterstone and was greeted with wandering eyes and showered with bashful compliments.

I expected to get into some type of argument about how each of our kids were better than the other or something, but we ended up talking through their traits with compassion, interest, and pride, all while agreeing that we just have to sit with them this weekend and explain that there are easier, better ways to sort out disagreements than screaming at each other in public.

I expected not to have much fun at all, but by the time we gathered the check and headed out the door, Spencer and I were laughing, just a little tipsy on Cabernet, our hands gently brushing and sparks shooting up my arm at the feeling.

I expected to go our separate ways and walk to my car and drive home, but instead he ended up telling me he was taking the Subway home, and I offered to give him a ride to the opposite side of town where I lived (Waterstone was right in the middle).

I expected to walk through the door, stumble straight up to bed, and sleep until Sky inevitably woke me up with them saying I've slept in too late and needed to get ready for work, but instead I ended up following Spencer up to his door to say goodnight.

And now we're at a fork in the road, and I can take one of two paths.

I can say goodnight, watch him walk in, and then go home and forget about this whole thing.

Or I can keep letting him stare at me until I find myself leaning in to kiss him. Whether or not he'll actually reciprocate is another story, but the little bit of wine tingling in the surface of my body and the dark, intense look in his eye gives me more courage than I've had since I met him.

Before I can make a move, Spencer talks, his voice small and inviting. "Do you want to come inside?" The beating of my heart quickens immensely as he takes another step forward and brings his fingers out to graze my chin. "Vivian's with her mom tonight."

Yes. Vivian's mom, who divorced Spencer pretty soon in the marriage after she just decided his job was too much to handle. He'd quit and took a teaching job, but even still, she declined his pleading to stay married and eventually admitted that she just wasn't in love with him anymore. At least she had the decency to let him have joint custody once his schedule cleared up, and it seemed like they were decent co-parents. Maybe even friends.

I think about Sky, how much they wish their dad had stayed, and how much I wish he had too. I was devastated when he left without anything more than a note. For years it took a huge toll on us, and I barely had the headspace to even think about dating anyone since then.

But here I am now, standing with this man who has also lost a spouse, who's somewhat of a single parent, and who seems kind and genuine enough that I don't think I'd have to worry about bringing him into the life of my child.

Though, I don't even know it'll go that far. I'm getting too far ahead of myself, and so to slow down I look at what's right in front of me. Right now.

Spencer looks at me like he wants to devour me. My whole body is tingling from head to toe. I want to kiss him, and I'm pretty damn sure he wants to kiss me back. He just invited me inside, which means that if I accept, we'll most likely end up sleeping with each other.

Again... Definitely not one of the scenarios I'd had in mind when I left the school today. But it's a damn good one, and he's so hot I want to cry.

My flirty switch turns on so fast, it nearly gives me whiplash. "And what are you gonna do if I say yes?"

"Depends... How badly do you want to walk tomorrow?"

My first instinct is to jokingly tell him to put me in a wheelchair, but I settle for kissing him instead, hoping that gives the same sentiment.

The way he melts into my body tells me I've succeeded. My arms fly up to his neck and pull him closer, and he holds me tightly to him, waiting for my lips to part so he can expertly slip his tongue past them.

I whine out and take a step towards the door. Spencer comes with me and fumbles with the keys in his pocket before reluctantly pulling away to get us inside.

Once we take our jackets and shoes off, he clings to me like static, drawn to me like a magnet, and I let him near without a second thought. Our lips find each other perfectly, like they've always meant to fit together. And as pieces of clothing come off on our way through the house and up to his bedroom, our limbs fit together just as well. Nothing is out of place.

Hell, I don't even remember how inferior to him I felt earlier in the day. Our jobs and lifestyles might seem like polar opposites, but for right now, the two of us are on very equal footing, coming together like it's always been meant to be.

I nearly fall apart when his fingers gather wetness from my cunt, just enough to tease me before pulling away and bringing them to his lips. I watch with a whine waiting on the back of my tongue as he slips his fingers past his mouth and sighs.

"More," is all he manages, and I want so badly to tease him—tell him how I know he can be more eloquent than that—but words are all lost on me too, when he drops to his knees and spreads me apart with ease. I have no choice but to reach behind and grip the foot-end of the bed as he works his tongue expertly against me.

Each of my sighs and whines are met with more avidity from him, taking the form of sharp flicks of the tongue over my clit, and once he adds his fingers to the mix, pumping them expertly inside me, I'm a fucking goner.

I come with a silent shout, clenching my thighs around his face and gripping the foot of the bed so tightly it feels like my hands might go numb.

Once my body loosens, Spencer gets up and kisses me, nearly knocking me over. I'm breathless and dizzy as the tang of my arousal coats my tastebuds. His hands are gentle despite the hunger in his lips, and the medley of sensations of all of these things has me weak in the knees.

"Getting harder to stand already, sweetheart?" he laughs, catching me as I fall into him. His hands clutch at my thighs and he carries me to the edge of the bed, crawling over top of me and kissing down my neck. "That's okay... I'll take good care of you."

I still can't manage to speak as he gently pushes in, the slow burn of him splitting me in two rendering me utterly incapable of even thought. I gladly welcome the pressure, especially once he's inside me all the way and lowering his body to mine. Our chests press firmly together as he pulls back and starts a steady pace with his hips. He traps me with his arms, bringing them to either side of my face. And when his fingers brush the hair from my eyes, he stares into them with intensity as he fucks me.

It's slow and hard. It's heart-pounding. It's earth-shattering. It's everything that makes sex worth having. In that moment we're two equals, so wrapped up in the mere feeling of each other that everything else is just background noise. He breathes me in and I do the same, and with each cant forward of his hips, he brings me deeper into this world we've both ultimately created together.

I want more than anything to wrap my legs around him and keep him close to me, but he's fucking me so good that I don't have the willpower. Instead, they lay spread out, lazy and open as his hips move between them. I'm warm all over, tingling everywhere our skin connects. When he kisses me, swallowing my pathetic attempts at whimpering his name, I'm positive that this is what Heaven must feel like.

Whether it's hours or only minutes later, eventually my body tenses, unable to hold back any further, and two particularly deep thrusts from Spencer send me barreling over the edge.

"There it is, sweetheart..." he praises, caressing my face with long, gentle fingers and leaving little kisses wherever they trail. His voice only seems to help me along, each warm syllable soothing the muscles that pulled taut at his mercy. "That's a good girl..."

I feel tired, calmed, and relaxed, when he pulls out only to jerk off over my lower stomach. Through tired eyes, I watch as he lets go and covers me with his release. Hearing him grunt out my name as he does it nearly wakes me up again, and it even finally brings some words out of me.

"God, you're so fucking hot..."

Well... Not exactly elegant, but the feeling gets across.

Spencer laughs and rolls over so that he isn't nearly crushing me anymore. He kisses down my neck, my arm, and he ever-so-slightly swipes the tip of his tongue over the mess he made before kissing my thigh and getting up to leave— presumably to get me something to clean up with.

Sure enough, he returns shortly with a wet washcloth and tenderly cleans me up. I manage to sit, leaning back on my elbows once he's done and smile at him. He's practically kneeling in front of me again, smiling back as his lips press featherlight kisses to the inside of my leg.

"How're you feeling?" he drawls, letting me pull him up to lay down with me.

"Really good. I haven't done that in so long..."

"Me either... I um... I hadn't really thought much about seeing other people once Lena and I got divorced... I guess I just wanted to put all my focus into being the best father I could, you know?"

"Mhm," I answer, turning to face him and interlocking our fingers. "I know exactly what you mean."

We lay like that for a few moments in comfortable silence, hands and limbs tangled while we breathe the same air and revel in the afterglow we've just created.

Suddenly Spencer laughs, and I squeeze his hand. "What is it?"

"I was just thinking... We probably wouldn't have met if not for Anteros calling us in, right?"

"Yeah..." I piece it together. "Guess I never thought of it that way."

"I just think it's funny, because in Greek mythology, Anteros was an Erote, known as an avenger of unrequited love, and he punished those who scoffed at romantic advances made by others... You and I never even thought about dating after our separations, and yet... Here we are now, because of Anteros."

Hearing him educate me on Greek mythology only serves to remind me how different we are. Still, the little story brings a comforting smile to my lips. "Well... Remind me to send her a basket of muffins or something to thank her."

"And tell her what? That you're grateful she got you laid?"

"Yeah. And what about it?"

The two of us dissolve into laughter that eventually fizzles and leaves us silent again. Our fingers are still tangled, and somehow we've snuggled in even closer.

"In any case, I'm glad I got to meet you, Doctor Reid."

"And I, you, Ms. Y/L/N..."

———

In the past two weeks since that first meeting, I hadn't received any more phone calls from Principal Anteros, which bode as a good sign.

Spencer and I decided to see each other as secretly as we could, which meant only giving vague details to our kids as to what we were doing in our spare time— It seemed weird to spring it on them if they didn't get along, so we figured it was best to wait until the situation was handled.

I tried to talk to Sky about their progress with Vivian, but they only insisted that everything was fine and they wouldn't have to worry anymore. And after relaying this information to Spencer, he informed me that Viv had said the same thing to him.

It wasn't until we both realized that they'd said the same things verbatim each time we asked, that something odd was going on.

And that's how we end up right here, Sky and I sitting on a park bench bathed in the golden October sun while I patiently wait for Spencer to 'coincidentally' show up with Vivian.

Thankfully I don't have to wait too long, because almost five minutes after we sit, I hear the familiar sound of my name falling from his lips, and it's hard to contain the cocky, playful smile that appears upon my own.

"Spencer, hey!" I call back, standing up and going to give him a hug. He pulls me in and he's nice and warm. He smells like burnt wood for some reason, and I want to breathe him in forever. Instead, I settle for a sweet kiss on the lips, both because I simply want to and also because it should baffle the fuck out of our kids.

Sure enough we pull away and look to them, and they look panicked. They have no idea what to do, what to say...

"Oh! Sorry... Viv, this is Y/N, Sky's mom."

The pure amusement in Spencer's voice makes me feel even warmer than being in his embrace. I look to his daughter and give her a wave. "Hi."

"H—Hi..."

It almost seems cruel to laugh at their predicament, but as I turn to Sky and introduce them to Spencer, they have clear annoyance written all over their face.

"Okay, Mom, I think we get it... How did you guys figure it out?"

"What, that you two pretended to hate each other so your principal would have to call us both in to meet?"

The pre-teens look at each other and sigh, truly defeated once and for all. "Yeah," they mutter simultaneously.

"Well, it surely didn't make any sense when you got in trouble for yelling at each other in the first place," Spencer points out. "And then when we asked you how things were working out, you both said the same exact thing..."

"It wasn't that hard to figure out, but we appreciate the effort," I add, reaching out to ruffle Sky's hair. They jerk away playfully, and I can't help but notice their smile as they peek over at Vivian.

"Our plan worked, though, so I call it a win," Vivian says with a shrug.

"As long as you two don't plan on causing any more disruptions at school..." Spencer looks between the both of them, and then at me, his eyes softening as he takes my hand and squeezes it. "Then yes. I'd call it a win, too."

I lean into him and laugh. "Turns out it wasn't Greek mythology that brought us together. It was The Parent Trap."

He raises an eyebrow, like he doesn't get what I mean, and before I can ask or explain, Vivian does it for me. "He's never seen it."

Spencer looks between the three of us like a lost and confused puppy, and we all laugh.

"Well, then, maybe we'll have to have a movie night sometime soon," I offer, reaching out for Sky.

Hand in hand, the four of us continue down the pathway, walking away from the setting sun while dried leaves rustle under our feet.

———

PERMANENT TAGLIST (tags not working are struck out):

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If you would like to be added to or removed from the taglist, feel free to message me or leave a comment and I’ll get on it right away!

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x reader smut #spencer reid smut #spencer reid #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds smut #enemies to lovers

825 notes · View notes

gladerwolfstarkimagines · 3 years

Text

Request: Imagine being Lin Beifong’s daughter and having a crush on Iroh II

Tags: @tincdraws

Growing up as the daughter of Lin Beifong metal and earth bending were your whole life. You learnt to earth bend by the time you could walk and your mother had you in training from a young age so you graduated from the earth bending school at the top of your class with your eyes firmly set on following in your mother’s footsteps whilst also trying to emulate your grandmother’s success. You had a sharp focus and nothing else really caught your attention. You had friends but training came first and dating seemed something superficial you could live without. Republic city was your life and you would never dream of leaving it but your mother had other ideas.

Your mother thought you needed more worldly experience before you joined the police force so she sent you to the fire nation to gain some training as an officer. She claimed the fire nation had some of the best officers in the world and that they would help you learn invaluable real-life experience. You did not agree and protested the whole thing. All your training had revolved around the needs of Republic City specifically and you couldn’t see how you’d learn anything new about how to protect your city by travelling all the way to fire nation but your mother refused to change her mind and that was that.

So you were shipped off to the fire nation fresh out of the academy. Your mother had spoken to Firelord Izumi and it was agreed you’d be staying at the palace so not only would you be unfamiliar with the environment, you’d be in a place where every small look, word or action had large consequences. You didn’t know much about the fire nation and couldn’t really recall the royal family. You were aware your grandmother was very close with the late Firelord Zuko but since then things had changed. Although your grandmother’s friends (mainly Katara) had tried to keep the group close it was hard with everyone scattered across the four nations and so with each generation the group had drifted further and further apart. You knew Firelord Izumi had a daughter older than you and a son around your age called Iroh. You recalled meeting Iroh when you were younger at some event in the south pole but couldn’t remember much more than a serious fire nation child. So you arrived on the steps of the palace utterly out of your depth determined to see these three months through so you could return to your beloved city. You were shown into the palace immediately, your belongings taken by maids who refused to let you carry them yourself as you were a royal guest. You weren’t used to finery so proceeded through the palace partly in awe and partly in utter confusion why someone needed this many paintings of old men everywhere. You were finally shown into a large room. “Ah you must be y/n Beifong” a voice called and you turned to see someone who looked vaguely familiar. You knew he wasn’t Firelord Zuko or Firelord Izumi’s husband as he was too young so figured by his royal outfit this was Izumi’s second child the prince. “Prince Iroh, it’s an honour to see you again” you said bowing and he chuckled “I bet you thought that would be a winning line with any fire nation citizen didn’t you? Because we’re still all obsessed with honour like we were centuries ago?” Iroh asked and you hesitated. “If I caused any offence...” you started but Iroh cut you off breaking out in a large smile “no I was only kidding, it is a winning line we are still obsessed with honour”. You watched as Iroh laughed at his own joke surprised, you didn’t expect the prince of the fire nation to be like this. You figured royalty lacked the ability or the clearance to have a sense of humour but apparently not. “So have I really not changed since we were eight?” Iroh asked and when you frowned he elaborated “you recognised me but the last time we met was just over ten years ago”. You paused “ow no I didn’t actually recognise you, you were young, dressed in fine clothes with royal hairpins, not to mention you’re in the palace...you had to be the prince”. “Good deductions officer” Iroh said saluting you before he grinned “i’m in training too”. That piqued your interest “really? for the fire nation army?”. He nodded “yep! I’m an officer but my hope is to be general one day and to fully earn it, rather than just get it because of who my family is...hopefully in a few years i’ll get there”. “I’m sure you will” you agreed and Iroh led you into a large dining room. “Are we dining alone?” you asked confused and Iroh smirked. “Why? Not pleased with me?” he asked and you rushed to assure him that wasn’t the case when he laughed again “I’m joking again y/n, I know my grandfather told you the whole family would be dining with you in his letter to your mother but he, my parents and sister were all called away to an urgent matter and asked me to fill in as we’re similar ages”. “Ow” you nodded “that makes sense...is everything okay?”. Iroh nodded “everything’s fine just boring fire nation stuff...so shall we?” he asked holding out his arm to you. You weren’t sure if this was appropriate so averted your eyes and only took his arm lightly. Iroh smirked at your caution and led you into the room.

The meal with Iroh was nice. He was friendly, hard-working and interesting. You soon got used to his humour and learnt not to take him too seriously. You hadn’t met many other people your age who shared your passion for a military career and found it was nice, a sentiment Iroh apparently shared. He enquired what you were doing the rest of the week and when you replied nothing as training didn’t start for another week he soon had several of your days planned out with fire nation sights to show you. Iroh seemed to understand you didn’t know much about the fire nation so planned to take you to all the important sites as well as areas relevant to the army to peak both your interests. You enjoyed the prince’s tours greatly and even when training did start you continued meeting with Iroh regularly. You liked his company and were surprised that didn’t fade the more time you spent with him, if anything it grew more and more. You thought he’d be a spoilt entitled prince but he was kind and considerate pleasantly surprising you.

You didn’t become aware that you liked Iroh as anything more until one of your friends at the academy pointed it out. Since starting training you were progressing well, you achieved high grades and were held in high esteem by your fellow recruits. You had made some friends and often trained with them after the academy retired for the day. After a long training session you were heading to the palace when one of your friends called out to you “hey y/n some of us were going into town to celebrate our class’s good progress, do you want to come?”. You smiled pleased they wanted you to come when you remembered you couldn’t go “I’d love to Shani but sorry I can’t I have plans”. “Of course you do” she smirked as your other friend Aizori grinned “is it with Iroh by any chance”. “Actually it is” you said frowning at their shared look “why?”. “Ow nothing just it’s not every day your friend is dating the crowned prince”. “Me and Iroh are not dating!” you cried “our families are old friends that’s all”. “Uh...hu, if that’s true then what are your plans together may we ask?”. “We’re attending a party at the palace”. “Together?” Shani asked and you blushed “yes but he only asked me because it’s a formal event that’s apparently really boring so he wanted a friend there, trust me we’re not dating”. “But how can you resist?” Aizori asked “I’ve only seen the prince a handful of times but he seems to get better looking every single time! How don’t you get lost in those golden eyes and that chiselled jaw? The royal family has some amazing genes not even a Beifong can resist”. You paused considering it. For you looks weren’t very important so you didn’t tend to notice them. You held work ethic and determination as much higher priorities and Iroh scored very highly in both but in looks...you honestly couldn’t say. “I’m not sure I’ve noticed” you admitted and the girls rolled their eyes not believing you.

When you arrived back at the palace your friend’s words were ringing in your head and when you next saw Iroh something felt different. You took note of his looks and were surprised by what you’d found. Iroh was attractive, very attractive, how had you missed that? You stared at Iroh wondering if his eyes had always been that bright? Was his jaw always that sharp? His hair that good regularly when he frowned “why are you staring at me?”. “Nothing” you cried and he paused before shrugging “Are you ready to go?” he asked “the party has already started” offering you his arm. You nodded and took it cautiously following Iroh into the ballroom.

You could see why Iroh had wanted to invite you, everyone in the room was at least 60 years old or some stiff nobel person from an ancient line of fire nation families. All they seemed to want to discuss was old family bloodlines, territories or ancient traditions. After your fifth boring ambush by some old fire nation man Iroh pointedly headed for the gardens. You frowned as he exited discreetly, closing the door behind him, and headed away from the hall. “Iroh I’m pretty sure the party is inside” you commented and Iroh grinned “I know but I can’t take another second in there so humour me? One lap of the gardens then we’ll head back, please? I know you haven’t seen them properly yet so how about a tour?” Iroh holding out his hand to you. You rolled your eyes but took his hand happily.

Iroh led you around the gardens explaining the different flora to you and their history. “I spent so many parties hiding in here as a kid” he grinned “this place is so huge they couldn’t find me for hours”. You smiled at the thought “my mother would’ve killed me if I did that”. “Mine did” Iroh chuckled “but I’d honestly rather face her wrath than some boring commander who wants to lecture me about our family’s history and why it’s so important...they’re literally my own family and even I don’t care” Iroh cried making you smile. “I see why you escaped out here so often, I’m very grateful formal parties were not a part of my childhood”. Iroh smiled and went to comment when the smile was wiped from his face and he grabbed you, quickly pushing you behind a large fern. “Iroh what are you...”. “Shhh they’ve come for us” he hissed and you frowned when you heard a voice. “Prince Iroh?” a man you recognised as the palace coordinator called “Are you out here? You’re needed inside”. You smirked and Iroh rolled his eyes “they’re relentless”. “Master Iroh if you’re out there please return to the ballroom, your mother’s orders”. There was silence and then the sound of the butler coming closer. Your eyes widened and Iroh put a hand over your mouth pushing you further into the bushes. “Prince Iroh?” a voice called literally right beside you and Iroh smirked as you grabbed his arm in surprise. You heard a sigh and the sound of the man retreating. When the footsteps died away Iroh dropped his hold on you and you both burst into laughter. “I thought we were going to be caught and then royally punished...literally” you added and Iroh smirked “I wouldn’t let them punish you, it’s not your fault I dragged you out here”. “True but I didn’t try hard to stop you”. “You did encourage me” Iroh nodded thinking “okay it’s all your fault”. You gaped laughing “I never said that! You are such a liar” you cried pushing him and Iroh laughed grabbing your arm “okay okay maybe we share the blame 50:50?”. “No way” you smiled and Iroh paused “60:40?”. “I think 90:10?” you said grinning and Iroh sighed “fine, i’ll take 10% of the blame”. You shook your head at how wonderfully infuriating he was and smiled at him fondly. Iroh grinned back and you realised suddenly how close his face was to yours. Iroh seemed to notice too, he glanced down at your lips and you panicked moving away from him suddenly. There was an awkward tension in the air and you broke it with a cough “so want to show me more of the gardens then?”. Iroh nodded “right this way my lady” the awkwardness gone and led you further into the garden.

When you were safely hidden from the ballroom Iroh stopped walking, explaining this was one of his favourite spots in the whole garden and you gratefully took a break sitting down. “I can’t believe you’ve already been here a month” Iroh commented and you nodded “I know only 2 more to go then my mandatory 3 months work experience is done”. Iroh frowned “mandatory...so you could stay longer if you wanted to?”. “Hypothetically” you agreed and Iroh hesitated “do you think you’d extend it? Hypothetically?”. You paused “I’m not sure, I have enjoyed the fire nation far more than I thought I would but I’ve always wanted to complete my training as quickly as possible, I hope to be chief of police one day and I’ll need many years of service for that...”. Iroh frowned “isn’t the youngest chief like 41?”. You nodded “yeah so i’ve got time I guess, maybe i’ll stay for longer...is this just so you have someone to skirt your royal duties with?”. Iroh laughed “maybe...I like you being here, it’s nice not being the only person under 30 in every room”. You smiled “well i’m glad my presence isn’t displeasing to you...you’ve been pleasant as well” you added blushing and Iroh grinned. “Wait did I make a Beifong blush? That’s like a legendary occurrence, this is amazing!”. “Stop it” you cried but Iroh wouldn’t let you turn away “no, this will go down in history, Beifong blushes are rarer than dragons so I’m soaking up every second”. For the second time that day Iroh stared at you closely and you blushed more under his gaze but this time you didn’t move away. Iroh continued gazing at you before he lightly moved his hand to your cheek “y/n...” he said softly leaning in closer when a figure appeared. “There you are!” a voice cried and you both jumped away from one another. Your jaw dropped when you realised who it was and you dropped into a bow “Firelord Izumi...i’m so sorry I didn’t see you approach”. “Rise child you did nothing wrong” she said warmly “my son on the other hand...” she trailed off glancing at Iroh who paled. “Hey mom” he frowned and she raised an eyebrow “really? That’s all you have to say? No apology or grovelling”. “Erm I’m sorry for ditching?” Iroh offered and Izumi sighed. “Y/n would you please excuse us, I want to have a word with my son”. “Of course” you agreed bowing and you rushed away.

Iroh returned not long after with his mother and told you he had to stay in the ballroom for the rest of the party. You agreed to stay with him and he smiled gratefully at you making you blush and look away rapidly. The night passed and neither you nor Iroh spoke about what happened in the garden. How he’d almost kissed you and how you were going to let him. You couldn’t believe your own recklessness. What good did you think would come out of kissing the prince of the fire nation? You were obviously not an appropriate match and so there was nothing to be encouraged there. You resolved to never find yourself in that situation again and decided to just stay as friends no matter how much you got along or how attractive he was. Getting involved with a fire nation prince was not responsible behaviour. So after that night you made sure to put distance between you and Iroh. You didn’t stop seeing him you just made sure to emphasise it was a friendship. You didn’t let yourself get caught up in him the way you had in the gardens and always kept a level head. Iroh never tried anything or mentioned that night either and you supposed he picked up on your not so subtle hints. You carried on as before but there was definitely an unmentioned barrier between you which you never let fade.

You left the fire nation 2 months later. You didn’t extend your stay as with your feelings for Iroh you didn’t think it would be wise. Iroh saw you off and hugged you tightly before you got onto the airship. “It’s been nice having you around Beifong, I’ll miss you”. Iroh’s words made you hesitate and you hugged him tighter. For that time in Iroh’s arms you imagined what would have happened if you’d kissed him in the gardens that night. Iroh didn’t strike you as someone who flitted from person to person taking what he wanted, you think if he wanted to kiss you he must have felt something for you too and perhaps would have suggested dating. You imagined all the things you’d have done together but as a couple and wondered if you’d made a mistake, maybe you should have just gone for it? But then reality set in. If you really wanted to be chief of police then you couldn’t have short relationships with high ranking members of the fire nation. Other candidates could use it to show you had compromised morals and there was no way it would be a long term relationship due to your lack of fire nation heritage. Sure the fire nation was pretty progressive but that didn’t really apply to royalty. They had thousand-year-old traditions to uphold that couldn’t be broken easily so Iroh was never a long term option for you. Therefore all logical signs said you’d done the correct thing not persuing something with him...so why did it feel so shit? You finally pulled away from Iroh and he noticed your expression. “What’s wrong?” he asked and you shook your head looking away “nothing i’ll just miss it here...promise you’ll keep in touch?”. “Cross my heart” Iroh smiled “you’re not someone I intend to let slip away, expect a visit every time I come to republic city”. You pushed away the rational voice in your mind telling you to keep a distance from him and smiled “you’ll always be welcome and I’m very much looking forward to it”. Iroh blushed “thank you y/n” and you nodded back, just looking at him in admiration before catching yourself. “I should go...” and Iroh nodded “safe travels” and with a final look you walked away.

2 years later

After your departure you and Iroh stayed in regular contact and your letters only halted when he was deployed by the military but the second we was out he would write and arrange to come visit you in Republic City. You still thought about him and your feelings for him regularly and every time you saw him you knew your crush hadn’t lessened. You loved Iroh’s visits and soon they became the thing you cherished most. You told yourself all of this was fine because you’d never act on your feelings but sometimes you wondered if Iroh felt something too? You’d catch him staring at you or he’d blush if you smiled at him in a certain way. The very idea of Iroh liking you made you very excited but you also knew it would only lead to heartache. He wouldn’t be allowed to settle down with someone outside the fire nation so it didn’t matter if he liked you too. So you settled for his friendship which was more than enough for you. When Iroh was posted in republic city when he became general you were thrilled and you only continued to grow closer.

However republic city wasn’t as peaceful. There had been multiple attacks on the city from Amon’s chi blockers to Vaatu’s take over and you and Iroh were constantly pushed into the fray. Multiple times you’d faced staggering odds and every single time you wondered if you should confess your feelings to Iroh in case the unthinkable happened but every time you chickened out. You and Iroh had been safe every time but there was only so much you could push your luck.

You’d been wary of Kuvira’s take over of the earth kingdom from the very start. Your aunt Su Yin had told you all about her so you weren’t surprised when she set her sights on Republic City but that didn’t mean you weren’t terrified. The avatar and her friends informed you what you were facing and you weren’t sure how you could even think about facing a giant mecha suit with spirit cannons. Iroh shared your sentiment but as general of Republic City’s army he was forced by President Raiko to lead his troops out there. Watching Iroh take to the front line you were swept with the desire once again to be honest with him, to tell him how you felt before it was too late. You decided three was too many times to chance it and so decided to finally tell him how you felt. You made your way to the general’s tent and found Iroh with Korra discussing strategies. You greeted them both warmly before making your way to Iroh’s side “could we please talk? I have something to tell you”. You knew Iroh had a hundred things to do but he nodded warmly squeezing your hand “of course just give me one second to...” when the radio sprang into action. President Raiko had surendering to Kuvira’s demands. Republic City was hers.

The avatar was furious and you matched her sentiment. You and Iroh joined her as she met with other leaders in the city like Tenzin and your mother and they all agreed something had to be done to stop Kuvira. A plan was quickly assembled, it was agreed that airbenders would attack the suit from the sky and earth benders would attack from the ground. You didn’t actually expect to damage the suit, you only had to distract Kuvira long enough for Korra to get inside. You were agreeing fervently getting ready to leave with your cousins when Iroh grabbed your arm. “Wait Y/n are you sure you want to do this?” he asked nervously “that mecha suit is dangerous there’s no guarantee you’ll be able to stop it”. I know but it’s my home, I swore to protect it and I won’t break my oath. I have to try and help”. Iroh sighed thinking and you watched him wondering what he’d say. “I understand why you’re doing it and I want to come too”. You paused pleasantly surprised “You do...but I thought President Raiko told you to retreat and surrender?”. “He told me to surrender the army not that I couldn’t personally engage in fighting, i’m not fighting as a general but as plain old Iroh” he announced proudly and you smiled “there’s nothing plain about you even without your titles”. Iroh beamed at you “Does this mean you agree? We can fight this giant together!”. You nodded your head “okay let’s go meet up with the others”.

You and Iroh rushed after the others and found them all suiting up. “Finally” your mother said spotting you but she frowned when she saw Iroh with you “y/n tell me you didn’t bring the general who is also the prince of the fire nation into this”. “She didn’t, I volunteered” Iroh spoke up “I’m not here as a general or as a prince but as a civilian so, where can I help?”. “You know your mother won’t like this” Tenzin commented and Iroh nodded “I know but some things are worth facing her wrath for” he said shooting you a smile and you blushed.

So it was agreed Iroh would stay. Your mother thought it would be best to place him on the roof with the airbenders, she ordered him to shoot lightning at the joints to try and cause some malfunctioning. When you’d all suited up the teams said their goodbyes and Iroh appeared in front of you. You didn’t have long, Kuvira’s giant suit was already in view and the ground shook whenever it took a single step. Iroh stared at you and sighed heavily “Y/n...”. “Don’t say it like that, we don’t have time and we’re both going to be fine okay?” you said faking a smile but Iroh saw right through it. “What did you want to tell me earlier?”. You froze caught off guard and blushed “I...I just wanted to...it doesn’t matter”. The ground jumped and Iroh looked at it nervously before stepping closer to you “I think I can guess what you were going to say”. “You can?” you asked nervously and Iroh smiled “yeah...you had another Beifong blush moment and I’ve noticed you do them around me a lot”. You went bright red and Iroh chuckled “yeah like that...”. You looked down embarrassed but Iroh took your hand gently “don’t, I blush a lot around you too”. You smiled blushing more and Iroh chuckled softly. “Y/n are you ready?” your mom asked and Iroh gripped your hand tightly. “Wait I want to tell you everything before you leave” Iroh cried but you squeezed his hand gently. “It’ll be okay” you smiled “you can tell me everything later and I think I can guess too”. Iroh grinned blushing “later then...just got to get through this”. “We’ll be fine, this is what he trained for” you smiled confidently “I promise I’ll see you on the other side”. Iroh nodded and stared at your lips, he went to move in when your mother called “y/n are you coming or are we leaving you behind”. “I’m coming!” you yelled and stepped away from Iroh “mothers” you commented and he smiled “go, i’ll see you after” and with a last look you both rushed off to your assigned group.

The battle

The fight went about as good as could be expected. The suit swatted the air benders away like flies and your group’s earth, metal and even lava bending barely slowed it down. But it didn’t matter, all that mattered was the avatar and her team managed to find a way into that thing and your team cheered when you saw she’d done just that. Now the fight was Korra’s so you let your guard down when suddenly the machine began malfunctioning. Your mother yelled for you all to take cover but you were too far away from the building. The suit exploded with a blast and you saw a blinding light and then black.

After the suit exploded everyone assumed the battle won. Half the air benders went after Korra to help her with Kuvira and the other half went to the ground to make sure the others were okay, of course Iroh went with the latter. He saw Bolin, your aunt and cousins but no sign of you or your mother. They told him they were all searching for you and he rushed to join in. With each street he passed his heart began to sink when finally he spotted you! In the arms of your mother unconscious. Iroh ran forward dropping to his knees beside you. “What happened?” he cried and your mother clutched you desperately “that thing exploded and she was too far to get into cover, it hit her sending her flying through the street and now she’s...she’s...”. Iroh saw the blood seeping through your mother’s hands where she held them against you. “No” he said viciously “y/n won’t...she can’t! We need a medic” he yelled loudly before taking off his jacket to wrap around your wound. “Maybe I can cauterise the wound?” he asked “seal it to stop her losing so much blood?”. Lin paused “I think the wounds too big but it’s worth a shot”. Iroh nodded and Lin lifted the bottom of your uniform. Iroh saw a large gash across your stomach and winced. He lit his hand on fire and pressed his hands against the wound. You gasped suddenly and your eyes shot open. “Y/n” your mother and Iroh cried in unison and you blinked trying to make sense of the situation before you groaned in pain. You tensed trying to get away from the burning but your mother held onto you “please y/n just hang on Iroh is trying to cauterise your wound”. “It’s not working” you grimaced resisting the urge to scream “Iroh stop! Please!” you cried and he yelled in frustration moving his hands away from you. “No it has to work if it doesn’t then you’ll.....we need a medic down here” he yelled again but he knew everyone else was spread out and there were no healers in the group. “It’s okay” you said breathing heavily as the situation dawned on you “Iroh it’s alright”. “No it’s not” he cried sinking onto his knees beside you “it’s not y/n, you can’t...you have to fight this, you can’t leave me”. You nodded “trust me i’m trying but Iroh if I do...”. “No y/n don’t even think about it! I won’t let you go it’s not going to happen”. “I don’t think we have a choice” you admitted trying to smile but Iroh just shook his head “but we never got our shot, we never got to talk, I never got to tell you...I love you y/n” he said simply “I have for years, that’s why I never found anyone from the fire nation because the perfect person for me is you. I know there’s traditions and rules but I don’t care, I don’t want anyone else but you. I’d give up anything for you and we were finally heading in that direction and now that stupid spirit cannon”. Tears leaked down Iroh’s face and you reached out a hand to him shakily. He took it and you stroked his face “it’s okay, i’m sorry for being too scared and cautious, I’m sorry for wasting our time together but I love you too, I hope that’s enough”. Iroh nodded “It’s more than I ever hoped, you didn’t waste time you have nothing to be sorry for y/n Beifong, do you hear me?”. “I do” you smiled before coughing in pain and your mother clutched you tighter. “Y/n” your mother cried and you smiled up at her “it’s okay mom, don’t worry. It’s all going to be okay”. You clutched her hand against your chest and took Iroh’s other one. “I’m with the two people I love the most, I’m happy. This is the best way for it to...”. “Stop” Iroh said crying but you just gripped his hand tighter “Iroh look at me”. He blinked through the tears but looked at you. “It’s okay, I promise you everything will be okay”. Iroh just said your name softly and rested his head against yours. Your mother wrapped her arms around both of you and you held onto both of them the best you could when you felt the world fading away. You heard sobbing and your mother faintly saying your name until everything turned dark and it was over.

Epilogue

Following your death the fire nation, earth kingdom and republic city all paid their respects in their traditional fashions. A statue was raised by your mother in the spot of your death and every year on the anniversary of your death both her and Iroh would visit it. Iroh and your mother supported one another following your death being the only one’s who understood how monumental the loss of your life was. They managed to get through it together and although neither of them ever stopped loving you they found a way to carry on. Iroh never married, he couldn’t even consider the idea and his family never pushed him to. He still lived a long and happy life. He was very involved with his sister’s children who he loved dearly and his family never stopped supporting him. If he went quiet and got a teary look in his eye or if he struggled serving in the earth kingdom they understood. Your family also treated him like one of their own, with Lin even calling him her son on a few occasions, and he was invited to all your family’s events in recognition of your love for him. Your memory never faded and when Iroh’s life eventually ended he passed on to find you waiting for him. He knew all the suffering and heartache was over, you were finally together at last.

____

So initially I was going to write a happy ending as well but then I thought screw it, I want to cry so I killed off the reader...but I can release the happy ending as a part two if anyone wants it.

Edit: For the happy ending version click here

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fanfic-chan · 3 years

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Hi! A prompt, if you don't mind. Since there's not many content with Todoroki siblings, maybe some family bonding with lee Shoto and lers Natsuo and Fuyumi. Like, Shoto finally feels comfortable and close to them enough for cuddles and affection, and they realise their baby brother is touch-starved (and unexpectedly ticklish)

I- I cannot even put into words how much I enjoyed this prompt! I absolutely loved every minute of writing this and I'm so glad you decided to send it to me! Poor Shouto is so touch starved and I love every opportunity I get to give him some much needed love! I really hope you guys like it!^^

Better Late than Never

Lers: Fuyumi and Natsuo Todoroki

Lee: Shouto Todoroki

"Hey. Can you guys tickle me?"

Fuyumi couldn't even blame Natsuo when he promptly started choking on the soda he'd been drinking in surprise. Of all the things that she would have expected her socially inept younger brother to say, it certainly wasn't that.

The three of them had been hanging out in the living room together, watching some animated movies that Shouto had borrowed from one of his classmates, Izuku Midoriya. That green haired kid that he'd fought during the UA Sports Festival.

Apparently, their youngest sibling had been doing some 'research' as he put it, on sibling bonding techniques, and had been interviewing a few of his classmates to figure out what they liked to do with their siblings. Tonight he'd suggested the three of them have a family movie night while their father was away on a business trip and he had some time off from school, an idea he'd gotten from his classmate, Hanta Sero.

Ecstatic that their little brother finally seemed ready to open up to them, they immediately agreed, and the three of them were currently cuddled up together in the impromptu blanket fort that Shouto had insisted was a must when it came to a proper family movie night because, 'Sero said so.'

And so it was.

Admittedly, things had been going pretty well up until now, when their stoic peppermint of a little brother had turned to them, family bonding list in hand, and had asked, in the most blank tone possible, if they could tickle him of all things.

"Shouto, um, if you don't mind me asking, what brought on that question?" Fuyumi asked after a moment, patting Natsuo's back firmly while he still struggled to catch his breath after almost drowning himself in Fanta. Shouto didn't even bat an eye at his older brother's near death experience, and instead kept his expression carefully emotionless. However, he was fiddling with the hem of his shirt slightly, as if he might be nervous.

"Oh. Well, Kirishima said he likes to bond with his younger siblings by tickling them. I'm the youngest, so I just thought maybe that's how it was supposed to go and that maybe we could do that too." He explained calmly, though there was a tad bit of barely noticeable apprehension there as well. "Is that… Wrong?" He asked hesitantly, tilting his head and taking on a rare expression of clear confusion as he started flipping through his notes again. Fuyumi couldn't decide whether the sight was adorable or flat out hilarious. Heck. Maybe it was a little of both.

"Oh! No! No of course it's not wrong! Just.. a little unexpected? I guess it's just surprising! Not bad though. It's good actually! Really good!" She answered hurriedly, not wanting to ruin this rare moment of trust Shouto was showing. He'd never really gotten the chance to bond with them properly when they were little, and his social skills definitely left something to be desired, so for him to be purposefully seeking out the opportunity to do normal siblings things with them? Especially things like physical displays of affection? Well, that was a pretty big deal.

He looked up at her and blinked, relaxing after a moment and setting his notes aside, seemingly satisfied with her hasty explanation.

"Oh." He said after a pause. "So.. You'll.. You'll do it then?" He asked quietly, and if she didn't know any better, it looked like he might even be blushing. Fuyumi couldn't help allowing herself a fond smile. When had her little brother gotten so adorable dang it?! There was definitely no way she could say no to that!

Rather than giving a verbal answer right away though, she instead let her expression morph into something a tad more mischievous and looked over at Natsuo, who had by some miracle managed to recover from his coughing fit. "Hey Natsu? Remember that thing Touya used to do to us when we were kids?" She asked with a smirk, suddenly scooping up their little brother from behind and pulling him into her lap when he wasn't looking, catching him off guard. She quickly wrapped her arms around his torso, trapping him effectively while simultaneously preventing him from being able to bring his arms all the way down, leaving him exposed.

Natsuo looked just as confused as Shouto did for a moment before realization suddenly seemed to hit him. Back when they were younger, sometimes Touya would scoop one of them up into his lap and trap them there, then he'd warningly tell them, "Don't laugh or flinch at all or else~" and wiggle his fingers just above their stomach, occasionally pretending to dip his hand down before bringing it back up again. This would go on until eventually they'd break and he'd finally start clawing into their sides or ribs or armpits. It was never the same spot, and so the inability to guess or prepare for it always made it so much worse. They loved it, and hopefully, so would Shouto now that he would actually have a chance to play.

He smiled slightly at the memory before crawling over to sit in front of his two siblings, the younger of them looking more than a little confused. "Um. What are you two doing? What did Touya used to do?" He asked, voice deceptively calm even as an anxious smile was starting to pull at his lips. Just because he'd never been allowed to participate didn't mean he hadn't seen his siblings playing this game before, and he had to admit, it was kind of exciting to finally be a part of it, even if he was a bit nervous.

"What do you mean 'what are we doing'? You wanted us to tickle you right? So what better time than now to teach our dear little Shouto about our favorite tickle game hm?" Fuyumi teased, making him squirm a bit in anticipation as he watched Natsuo slowly move his hands toward his stomach, which he sucked in instinctively.

"The rules are simple." Fuyumi began, "Don't laugh,"

"Or flinch at all-" Natsuo joined.

"Or else~" They finished together, and with that, the game had begun.

Shouto held up pretty good for about seven minutes. After all, due to both his extensive training on self control as a child and the countless tickle fights he'd already gotten into with his classmates back at the dorms, he'd managed to build up a fair amount of resistance, and he remained stubbornly quiet and still no matter how many times Natsuo tried to catch him off guard. That is until Fuyumi decided to cheat by pinching his side right at the exact moment Natsuo decided to bring his hand down again, and he arched his back in surprise right into his older brother's waiting fingers.

"GYAH- Ahahahahaha! No! Nohoho wait!! Fuyuhuhumi you cheheheheater!!!" He laughed, collapsing into his sister's chest as Natsuo started digging into his sides. "Cheater? Me? Are you hearing this Natsu? Shouto's accusing me of being a cheater! The nerve!" Fuyumi exclaimed, feigning outrage as she joined in by scribbling her fingers over his ribs and into his armpits, making him squeal adorably. By now, he'd been squirming around so much that his head had ended up cradled in her lap, giving her a perfect view of his joyful smile. The sight of her little brother, so happy and carefree in this moment, it almost brought her to tears, and she couldn't resist the urge to discretely snap a few quick pictures of the scene with her phone, both as a keepsake and to send to their mom later along with the others she'd gotten throughout the night.

"NONONONO!! NOT THEHEHERE! NOT THE FEET NATSUHUHU!! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Shouto honestly couldn't remember a time he'd felt this much joy. Tickle fights with his classmates were always fun, sure, but this? This level of closeness and affection being shared between him and his siblings right now? It was like having a hole filled that had been empty for far to long. He never wanted it to stop.

"What? Not here? Why not? Is someone a little sensitive riiight here~?"

"YEHEHEHES! I AHAHAM! PLEASE! PLEAHEASE STAHAHAHAP!!! I'M DONE FOR NOHOHOW!!""

Okay he didn't want it to stop, but maybe, um, maybe he did need to breathe though. His siblings seem to recognize this as well and quickly let up. He shot them both a grateful smile as he curled into a ball on his side, still giggling. This time, Natsuo was the one who couldn't resist the urge to record it.

"I.. I love you... Guys.." Shouto mumbled between giggles, and they both froze. Did- Did he really just?...

Shouto barely had time to process what was happening before he was literally being crushed in a bear hug between his two siblings, and despite his sudden inability to breathe again, he returned the embrace happily because maybe.. Maybe this is what he'd been missing all along.

#bnha+tickling #sfw tickles #sfw #shouto todoroki #fuyumi todoroki #natsuo todoroki #todoroki siblings #lee!todoroki #requests

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hanazuma-inactive · 3 years

Note

Hello! This is kind of a long request and well- Hopefully you’re fine with doing temporary Body Swap. :>

So basically Bakugou and his Male S/O are pro heroes and when out on a mission, they both get hit by a villain who has a swap quirk. Basically, they just swapped bodies. (Y/n is in Bakugou’s body and Bakugou is in Y/n’s body, they basically just switched minds.) They are told by the other pro heroes that the two should go home and take the day off. Unfortunately, nobody knows how long the quirk effect will stay, but they were convinced it was only temporary. So the two go back to their shared apartment and the day goes on pretty normal- besides the fact that, you know, they’ve swapped bodies. Though later Y/n gets a bit of an idea. What if he were to f*ck Bakugou in this body? The thought seemed kinda strange at first since he would literally be f*cking his own body, but he couldn’t deny that the thought was turning him on. Especially wanting to see Bakugou’s reaction. So, he basically handcuffs Bakugou to prevent him from struggling and.. while in the middle of doing it, something happens.. Shit! Why did it have to happen now?? Y/n panics in his head as he realizes they just swapped bodies again, and he is now at the mercy of Bakugou Katsuki himself..

I actually sent a request kinda similar to this to someone else but it was a while ago and they haven’t responded so they may not have liked it, or it just didn’t arrive. And sorry for choosing Bakugou again, you just may be able to figure out who my favorite character is.. Sorry for my rambling.

If you don’t wanna do it, that’s fine. Anyways, have a good day/night, man!

in his shoes (nsfw) bakugou x reader

pronouns: he/him

warnings: body swapping during sex, bottom and top reader+bakugou, selfcest (?), degrading, bratty behavior, claimming and possesive themes, bondage (handcuffs)

a/n: i really like this concept and i will write it don't worry 😎👍 i usually write all of my requests anyways. im also sorry this took literally 5 years.

_____

katsuki bakugou and y/n bakugou. the two of you have been married for 2 years now after you guys started working as heroes. you both went to UA and graduated at the top of the class. neither of you had time for love or romance resulting in neither of you confessing you feelings for each other. gladly, things managed to work out in the end.

"he's on it again, i need the bakugous here right now."

hearing the police force requesting your assistance, you and your husband show up on the case. it turned out to be the villain that the two of you couldn't capture the last time during patrol.

"HEH?! look y/n, it's this motherfucker again. what's up with this loser, coming back every time it's annoying."

"play nice now katsuki, let's just go and restrain him and let the police take care of the rest."

the two of you move quickly to match the villain's rapid movements. katsuki flew around using his quirk to attempt to catch him but failed. the villain was surprisingly agile and you guys had a tough time trying to chase him down.

after around half an hour of chasing you finally cornered the villain on top of a tall building in the middle of the city that was still in construction. the ground was hard to walk on and somewhat unstable but you managed to find your balance.

"alright, give it up, you've got nowhere to run now.

"what he said, stop resisting and i won't blow your face off."

the villain's expression turned to fear as you started to close up on him. out of panic, he used his quirk. it was a small beam that didn't hurt at all. however, after a few seconds your body started to heat up, you looked over to katsuki and you could tell he was feeling the same. what was happening?

seeing the two of you struggling, the villain quickly left the scene but he had trouble moving around due to his surroundings. his movements were also somewhat impaired due to fatigue. it was most likely the aftereffect of his quirk which was why he was pretty reluctant in using it.

the strange feeling in your chest wouldn't go away and your vision started to blur. next thing you know you woke up on top of the same building to see yourself lying next to you. was his quirk duplication? no it couldn't have been. you tried to stand up but felt the weight of some heavy armor dragging you down. you look down to see yourself wearing katsuki's hero costume and his gauntlet. still in awe, you heard a groan in your own voice next to you.

"shit… wtf happened, y/n where are you where-"

it didn't take long for your husband to find out what happened.

the two of you have switched bodies.

you both tried to explain to the police who's who but it only ended in confusion. you went home with your husband after they put the two of you on break for "damaged mental" from the villain because the majority of the police thought you guys were crazy.

there weren't any cases similar to body switching between heros before so the doctor said there's nothing that can be done other than attempting to wait off the effect. so there you were, in your husband's body, cooking dinner for the man while you saw your own body lazily sitting on the couch with your legs spread open watching the tv.

life went as normal for the next two days, since you two were both males there weren't any problems whatsoever. however, one day a thought flew into your mind while taking a nap with katsuki. since he was the one who would usually top, now that you're in his body wouldn't it technically mean you get to top?

physically you would be using your boyfriend's body to fuck yourself. but the thought of the all mighty bakugou katsuki taking his own dick, his bratty attitude, and lastly breaking him and making him fall apart by your touch aroused you in an indescribable way. you knew katsuki wouldn't agree to this due to his prideful personality so you had to take other measures to carry out your plan.

you and kastuki had all sorts of toys laying around and you decided to give him a taste of his own medicine with them. while he wasn't looking you grabbed the vibrator, handcuffs, and blindfolds and put them all on the nightstand. now that everything is in place, all you have to do is wait to catch katsuki off guard tonight when he gets tired.

later tonight, after finishing dinner, katsuki was yet again sitting casually again on the couch watching tv, not giving a single care to the world.

"heyy katsuki!"

"hm? yah?"

"come with me for a second? i want to show you something!" you said with a sly grin on your face

katsuki didn't care enough to talk back, neither did he think this could lead to the ill intentions you had with him tonight. following you into the bedroom, you gestured katsuki to sit down on the bed. he obeyed although he began to have a suspicion of what you're about to do. using your new body, you abused katsuki's strong muscle and speed to restrain your own body with the handcuffs you prepare. there was no way for katuski to fight back in this situation because your body was simply not built enough to resist his.

"h-huh? what are you doing dumbass…if you're joking s-stop it now, it's not funny."

"oh i am very serious katsuki, now that i'm inside your body. i am going to fuck your brains out. i'm gonna thrust that bratty attitude of yours right out the window."

hearing you say that, your husband looked away to avert his eyes while you heard a small gulp coming from his throat. you could tell he was nervous and that's exactly what you wanted. katsuki has never bottomed in his life before and he does plan on doing so either.

finally having katsuki in your grasp, you decided to carry on with your plan. you put on the blindfold for him as he jolted in surprise. katsuki tried to get out of the handcuffs but later found his attempt futile. these were the toys he used for you too and he out of everyone should know it's impossible to get out of them. once your husband stopped moving you gentlt took off his pants, leaving him exposed wearing only your boxers with an erection under it.

"aww katsuki~ already hard and i haven't even done anything yet, maybe you're better off being the bottom hm?" you teased

"s-shut up you shit head, just get on with it, whatever evil plan you have in store for tonight…"

"no need to rush katsuki" you said as you entered his asshole with 2 of your fingers, loosening him up for the vibrator.

"we have the entire night."

you heard your own voice whimper as you explored more with your fingers. soon enough it was time to put the other toy in. your fingers left for a bit preparing the vibrator, leaving bakugou panting from the pleasure and clenching his hole around well, nothing. you turned on the vibrator and katsuki immediately noticed the familiar sound of what's in your hands.

"o-oi y/n, don't put it in here, i-i won't be able to take it."

"oh i'm sure you can~ you made me do it plenty of times, why can't the big and strong bakugou katsuki do it?"

without mercy, you put in the vibrator quickly and let the show play out. katsuki was moaning and groaning while you stroked your own cock enjoying the view. katuski's cock was bigger than yours and you weren't used to jacking off such a big dick but it was a nice first.

seeing a wet spot forming on katsuki's underwear, you knew he was ready to go. you took off katsuki's underwear to see the precum leaking from it, so much it looked like he was about to cum any second now. next, you took out the vibrator and started to spread some lube on your cock. you positioned yourself on top of the katsuki and teased his pink hole with your huge cock.

"what do good boys say katsuki~?"

"tch! i'm not saying it, y-you sadistic fuck."

you slapped katsuki's ass so loud that the neighbors probably could've heard you.

"i'm the one in control right now, you listen to what i say, understood?"

"f-fine, jesus christ! p-please y/n, put it inside me…"

"that's a good boy…"

after you fit ¾ of your cock in katsuki was already panting heavily trying to catch his breath. it reached his prostate you leaned down on his chest to bite on his nipples to make him feel even better. his hole clenched on your hole so tight you were barely able to move your cock around. you continued to make thrusts and sped them up each time.

during your thrusts you suddenly felt the weird feeling when fighting the villain again. both you and bakugou's body started to burn up but it wasn't as painful as it was last time. next thing you know everything was pitch black. you felt a piece of black cloth on top of your eyes and a familiar size inside your ass. it didn't take you long to realize that you and bakugou finally switched back.

you were glad to be back in your own body but why did it have to happen now?! out of all the times it could've happened this was no doubt the worst possible timing. you just teased the crap out of bakugou and now that he's in control again he can take his revenge right here, right now.

"oh? would you look at that…our bodies switched back…" you couldn't see katsuki say this but you could already tell the evil smile on his face.

"k-katsuki i'm sorry, i didn't mean to tease you that hard i was just trying to have some fun y-y'know." you desperately tried to explain.

"too late now baby boy… bad boys get punished for what they did. now… get ready, for the night of your fucking life."

regret, nothing but regret. bakugou was already an aggressive person when it comes to sex, now that you pissed him off even more you weren't prepared for what he was about to do to you.

without warning, katsuki pulled back his hips and thrusted into you harder than ever. you took his entire length right away and the full feeling in your ass was too overwhelming for you to handle. you started to blabber nonsense, unable to form words due to the pleasure.

"c'mon baby… gotta speak up if you want me to understand you." bakugou said knowing damn well you can't talk back.

incoherent moans and groans escaped from your mouth as you felt dry orgasms again and again from katsuki reaching your prostate. you were on the verge of passing out till you saw your husband's panting just as hard as you. you could tell he was very close as well. you tried your best to stay conscious and cum with your husbands.

katsuki let out a loud moan as he cummed inside you. you reached your orgasm too cumming all over yourself. katsuki licked up the cum on your stomach as you slipped into sweet unconsciousness. he gave you a warm smile and patted your head as he took you into his arms and fell asleep with you.

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 3 years

Text

If I Fell For You (Part 4) - Safety Nets

Summary: The reader has her first date with Jensen, a simple dinner at home with him and the kids, but when they get a moment alone, he shares some information about the accident hardly anyone knows. Just as things start to get moving with the pair, Jensen has to head to Canada for filming ahead of schedule but he’s not so sure he can go back to whole weeks away from his family right now...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 5,200ish

Warnings: language, death of a spouse, mention of injury, depression, anxiety, self-worth problems

A/N: Shopping buddies are the best ;) Please enjoy!

________

“Can I help set the table?” you asked the next evening, Jensen shaking his head at you.

“JJ, can you set the table for me?” asked Jensen. She jumped up from the couch and got out silverware, setting an extra spot for you.

“Y/N, are you and dad on a date?” she asked when she finished up. You looked down from where you leaned back against the counter, Jensen chuckling.

“Yes we are sweetie. If this goes well I’d like to take Y/N out on Friday, maybe you guys can go to Uncle Jared and Aunt Gen’s,” he said.

“You should go out with dad,” said JJ.

“Oh I should?” you said, crossing your arms. “Why’s that?”

“Cause he’s strong and handsome and smart and funny and…” she said, holding up her hand and counting on her hand.

“The hair,” he whispered, a smirk crossing your face.

“Oh and he’s only got a few gray hairs!” she said.

“Oh. Well that is interesting,” you laughed, Jensen smacking himself in the face.

“Great hair, JJ. Not gray. Great,” he said.

“You do have gray whiskers,” she said.

“Like...barely,” he said. “See what I put up with? A few teensy tiny little patches in my beard if it grows out.”

“I don’t know if I can date a man of such frail age,” you said. He cocked his head and you laughed, JJ giggling as she went to get the plates.

“Keep it up you two,” he said. You walked over to him, JJ going past with the plates. “Come to tease some more?”

“I was told you’re quite handsome, thought I’d get a closer look,” you said.

“You can have as close a look as you want,” he said, flashing you a wink.

“Calm yourself, Casanova,” you said, reaching up to the cupboard to get another plate for JJ. “Here sweetie.”

“Thanks,” she said. She set it ran back over, hugging you. “Don’t go.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” you said.

“Good,” she said. You bent down and picked her up, resting her on your hip.

“Where’d you think I was going?” you asked. She shrugged and Jensen stopped stirring the pot.

“I don’t know. Wherever you were before. Dad’s a lot happier since you live with us now,” she said.

“Well taking care of you three is hard all by yourself,” you said. You set her down and patted her head. “Go get your brother and sister for dinner.”

“You’re good with them,” he said, stirring the pot again.

“They’re people. Small people that don’t know half of what adults do but still people. Sometimes you gotta treat ‘em like it. Most of the time actually,” you said.

“I talked to her earlier about this whole situation,” he said.

“Besides listing off all your selling points what’d she think?”

“Well apparently she’s in favor of me asking if you’d marry me tonight,” he said.

“Oh. Shotgun wedding. Simple. I like it,” you laughed. He turned his head and smiled, glancing down for a long moment, slowly returning.

“Why doesn’t this situation scare you? The kids, me who has been all over the place lately, not to mention my job, long distance, the shit you get just for-” he said, your hand covering his mouth.

“I didn’t say it’s not a lot, Jensen. It’s scary. Of course it is. Every single one of my relationships has ended badly for one reason or another. Friendships. Family ones. Romantic ones. You’re handsome and you’re so successful and I’m literally a nanny but you said you wouldn’t hurt me. So I’ll trust that you won’t and you trust I won’t hurt you and it’ll work itself out.”

“That simple huh.”

“I’m easy going. Let’s keep it simple,” you said.

“Simple works,” he said as you pulled the pot off the burner before it bubbled over. “Simple definitely works.”

“This is not a good idea,” you said two hours later, the kids in bed, you and Jensen jumping up and down on the trampoline in the yard.

“Oh most certainly not,” he said, landing near you and sending you up. You yelped and landed back down on your bottom, Jensen bouncing again, sending you up again and laughing this time. “Well that’s a cute sound.”

“Boys. Is it taught somewhere that you gotta tease a girl when you like her?” you asked, Jensen pulling you to your feet and bouncing around lightly.

“Right after manly man class, duh,” he said.

“You would have failed, I can tell you right now,” you said. He scoffed and you shrugged. “That’s kinda a really good thing.”

“That your ex? Tough guy all the time?” he asked.

“Not like, to that extent or anything. I had a bad day and I really needed someone and he let me down. He got mad at me for it actually. He called depression a phase I needed to get over with,” you said. He stopped bouncing and you did the same, glancing down. Next thing you knew he playfully tackled you onto the trampoline, rolling to his side and smiling at you.

“Some of my friends have it. One of my best friends does. Jared. If he ever knocks on the door late at night or whatever, let him in.”

“You take care of everyone in your life it seems,” you said.

“You take care of the people you care about, not insult them. Hopefully the ex figures that out someday.”

“How’d you figure it out?”

“I don’t do anything anyone else shouldn’t,” he said.

“Maybe that’s it,” you said. “You’re unapologetically good and you don’t even know how rare that is.”

“It takes up too much energy to be angry or mean or cruel. I’d just rather be happy,” he said.

“You got a lot of friends, don’t you.”

“My fair share,” he said.

“How many would you call close?”

“Maybe ten or so.”

“How many real close?”

“Two or three.”

“How many know what really happened that day? Your wife…” you said. He stared at you and swallowed.

“How do you know?” he asked quietly.

“Because when we met you said she died in an accident but then you said it was her head. You’re holding onto something, something you don’t talk about.”

“She was driving when the aneurysm happened. I was in the car with her. I almost died. It’s seemed easier to lie about that.”

“Who knows?”

“My parents and Jared. They’re the only ones.”

“You ever talk to anyone about it?”

“I went to talk to someone a few times. I’m better now,” he said with a smile. “I don’t share a lot if you may have guessed already. Not to too many people. But you it feels so easy to.”

“Must be special,” you said. He smiled and reached a hand over, twirling a piece of your hair in his fingers. “That why you like me?”

“There’s a lot of stereotypical reasons to like someone and part of that is true in why you choose someone I suppose. But there’s this other part that when you meet someone that you can’t really explain.”

“I get that. I get all of it. My brain always seems to want to go to the bad scenario first I suppose,” you said. You looked up at the black sky, Jensen toying with another strand between two fingers. “I wish it didn’t do that so much.”

“You’re just trying to protect yourself is all,” he said.

“But I come off as pushy and distant,” you said, turning your head. “Like I’m that person that’s cool with everything being casual.”

“Well think of it like this trampoline. It’s the only thing holding us up right now right?” he asked and you hummed. “Well my life, I’ve had thousands of safety nets below me to catch me when I fall so even if I tore through one, there was more to hold me up while the others got fixed. You never had as many to start and I think more of yours broke and there was no way to fix them in time so you kept tumbling through until you got to the ground.”

“Your point?”

“Maybe some people hit the ground and others never do. But the people who hit the ground, as they go back up they can make the best most solid nets in the world to hold them up. One good net beats a thousand flimsy ones.”

“So at what age do I get the wisdom?” you asked, turning your head and smiling over at him.

“You don’t. My job has made me fall through more nets than I wanted to and this year made me realize I might not have a thousand strong nets at the bottom but I just needed one to get by and now I’m working back up. You’re not even close to being down low either. You’ve already had the hardest part of your life. It’s all up from here.”

You leaned over and he lay back on the trampoline, gazing up at you. You lowered your head as he cupped your cheek, pulling you in close until your lips were touching. Part of your mind was reeling from that in itself but the other half knew that was his first kiss since his wife. You inched back but stayed close, Jensen peeling open his eyes.

“You okay?” you asked.

“Very,” he said. You lay back beside him, Jensen letting you go. His hand reached out for yours though and laced your fingers together. “Why’d you kiss me?”

“Wanted to,” you said.

“Cool. I wanted to kiss you too,” he said.

“Alright then.” You stared upwards, the trampoline shifting again. He popped into view propped up on one arm, your head turning slightly. He was flush, even in the dim light. He moved slowly but you let him come to you, a barely there gentle kiss that lingered, a thousand gears going in your head, likely a thousand more going off in his.

“I’m okay,” he said quietly as he pulled back a few inches. Your fingers carded through his hair and he smiled. “I’ll get the hang of this again. I promise.”

“That was more than enough for one night,” you said. “We said slow and we’ll go slow, okay?”

“Sounds good with me.”

Two Days Later

“Y/N, can I have a word with you in my office?” asked Jensen as you were picking up after dinner. You hummed and put the last fork in the dishwasher before following him down to a quieter part of the house. He shut the door behind you and he ran his hand over his face. “This is about work, my work, but it’s going to involve you. Heavily.”

“What’s up?” you asked, taking a seat in a chair. He sat in his by his desk, scrunching up his face.

“My job with that TV show, The Boys, it films in Canada. I’m gonna need to be up there four, maybe five months. The way things used to work with my wife was I would fly back home every weekend or every other weekend. I never went more than 2 weeks seeing the kids. I don’t have to film every day but it’s easier to stay there for the week. But it’s...it’s difficult for me. It’s difficult for them and...they lost one parent this year. I can’t stay away that long for months. I just can’t do it anymore.”

“That’s perfectly understandable,” you said.

“I’d like to temporarily move to Canada while I film. No flying back and forth. The kids can see me everyday and I can see them. JJ’s school still offers remote learning and I’m homeschool certified in a pinch. Twins can do daycare easy. The only issue I have is the same one I originally did. I still need a nanny. Only now in a different country...and it’s gonna be more late nights on the regular.”

“I see,” you said.

“This isn’t what you signed up for so if you don’t want it, that’s okay. I can find a nanny up there and we can try long distance and-” he said before you stood and walked in front of him.

“I’m in.”

“Really? I mean it’s gonna be awhile before we’re back in the states,” he said.

“It sounds like fun.”

“Awesome. I was really hoping you’d say that,” he said.

“So where are we going?” you asked.

“Toronto. Well, near there. I gotta start filming start of February but there’s promo stuff to do in late January,” he said.

“It’s already late January,” you laughed. “When do we have to move?”

“Uh, tomorrow,” he said. “Just got the call a few hours ago. I got a house to rent lined up already.”

“Oh wow. Alright. Uh, what do I need to do exactly?” you asked.

“Keep stuff normal. Don’t worry about cleaning or anything. Maybe box up anything you want to bring and some of the kids stuff. Toys, books, that stuff. I’ll handle their bags. We’ll ship it all up tomorrow and take a flight up at night,” he said.

“Okay, cool,” you said. “Wait I need like, a snow jacket right?”

“We’ll get you set up there with coat and boots and all that,” he said.

“Gotcha,” you said, starting to leave before you spun around and walked smack into his chest. “Wait. I have a lot more questions actually. Like...I don’t have a passport?”

“I know which is why tomorrow morning first thing you’re gonna go down to the post office, get your passport done up and when it comes in, we’ll get it shipped up to Canada,” he said.

“How do I get into Canada though?”

“We share a border with them so we bring your license and birth certificate, you can go right on in no problem,” he said.

“Oh. Okay,” you said. “Wait. I’ve never been on an airplane before. What-”

“Okay,” he laughed. “Take a hot second and breathe and we’ll go from there. I know it’s last minute but it’ll work out. I promise.”

“Y/N,” said Jensen, tapping your shoulder two days later. You hummed and reluctantly turned your head away from staring out the back sliding doors to the snow covered yard and trees around you. “Have you ever seen snow before?”

“No. Not like this,” you said, head going back to staring outside. “It’s something out of a movie.”

“You had that same look on your face when we took off last night in the plane.”

“What’s that?”

“Those little moments where the years fall off and you get that childish joy, like nothing bad has ever happened,” he said.

“I suppose there’s hope for me yet,” you said with a smile.

“Oh there was always that,” he chuckled. He threw an arm over your shoulders and you leaned into him. “Can I still take you out Friday?”

“Who’s gonna watch the kids?” you asked.

“My buddy.”

“Does he exist?” you said, grinning at him.

“Cute,” he said, ruffling your bedhead. “Yes he does exist. How’s Friday night sound?”

“Do I need a dress?” you asked.

“Probably. It’s a nice place,” he said. “My favorite place in Toronto actually. Jeans are perfectly acceptable there though.”

“I’ll pick out a dress today too,” you said. You kissed his cheek and watched them turn an ever so light pink. “You’re cute.”

“Shut up,” he chuckled. “Put your boots and coat on the card I gave you alright? That’s a business expense.”

“Whatever you say boss,” you said. “I’m gonna duck out before the little ones get up. I’ll try not to be gone too long.”

“Take your time. Drive slow in the snow until you get the hang of it, okay?”

“I will. I promise.”

“What the fuck’s the difference between therma heat and therma wear…” you mumbled to yourself, gawking at the glove rack at the store an hour later.

“I think it’s just marketing,” said the guy on the other side. You jumped and managed to knock about five pairs off the hangers. He laughed quietly and peeked his head around. “Didn’t mean to spoke ya.”

“It’s alright. I’m…” you said, the man smiling as you shook your head out. “Um...I…”

“You okay?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. You nodded and he smiled. “You sure cause you were just having a life crisis over gloves a second ago and now you can’t seem to form a sentence.”

“You’re Home…” you said, shutting your eyes. “You’re the actor that plays...I’m having a fucking day.”

“Looks like it,” he said, bending down and picking up some of the gloves. He laughed again and you got the ones closest to you, putting them back. “You know it’s like ten degrees outside right? Not exactly sneaker weather.”

“I know. This place looks pretty but it’s worse than a Texas summer almost with how cold it is.”

“I thought you sounded not from here,” he said with a smile. “I’m not from around here either. I do better with the heat myself.”

“Okay um, listen...uh, what’s your name, not Homelander?” you asked.

“Antony,” he chuckled again.

“I’m Y/N. I’m just gonna get the weird stuff out of the way cause…” you said as he smiled but stepped back a foot. “Yeah. Um I’m a fan but like...do you know Jensen Ackles?”

“Why?” he asked.

“He’s my boss...and my boyfriend but that’s another story. We might run into each other at some point, probably very likely. Just wanted to throw that out there.”

“Your boss?” he asked.

“I nanny his kids. I wouldn’t believe me if I were you either. I should go,” you said. You groaned when you were past him, hearing a pair of feet jog to catch up with you.

“I know you. You were on his instagram last week right? Yeah okay, that makes sense why a clueless Texas girl is stressing over gloves.”

“Excuse me?” He shook his head and smiled.

“Get a pair of thick gloves, thinner ones but not too thin, a warm hat, good boots for traction along with some boot spray and go with a longer hooded parka. It’ll be warmer. Throw in a few pairs of wool socks to be sure,” he said.

“Oh. Thank you,” you said. You looked back at the store and then to him. “There’s like five hundred coats in here.”

“How about you buy me a cup of coffee and I’ll help you out. Deal?”

“Why would you help me?” you asked.

“Well I’m gonna be working with Jensen quite a bit and he’s your boyfriend too apparently plus it’s just nice,” he said.

“You’re so not like your character.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment. We’ll be out of here in an hour tops.”

Antony turned out to be very helpful since apparently you had an uncanny ability to be attracted to the least warmth rated items in the whole store. But you had your parka and boots on now, other items tucked away in the bags as you browsed through a rack of black dresses at a different store.

“We dress shopping now?” said Antony, sipping on his coffee cup.

“Dude,” you said, jumping again. “You gotta learn to make noise.”

“It’s my natural stealth,” he said. “That one.”

“What?”

“That one,” he said, nodding to a dress on the wall.

“I can’t pull that one off,” you said.

“Try it. I’ll watch your stuff,” he said.

“You’re oddly nice,” you said. “To a stranger.”

“Well this beats my plans of walking around the mall buying crap I don’t need. Besides, I like you.”

“I have a boyfriend.”

“I’m taken,” he laughed. “Come on. Everybody needs a shopping buddy.”

“Okay but if you’re a weirdo Jensen will kick your ass,” you said, finding your size and taking it off the rack. “Just sayin’.”

“I like the guy more already,” he said. “It’s not like it’s your first date or anything.”

“...Second date.” He stared and looked away. “It’s…complicated.”

“I heard about...you know…the accident,” he said.

“Let him bring that up,” you said and he nodded. You took the dress into the changing room and smirked at the mirror. “Alright, maybe we give this one a shot.”

You changed back and found Antony on a bench outside.

“I should take you shopping more often,” you said. “You have good taste.”

“Sounds like a winner,” he said, handing you back your bags. “I gotta head out for work but it was nice meeting you, Y/N. I’m sure I’ll see you around very soon.”

“Me too. Thanks for the help today, really.”

“Not a problem at all. See ya later,” he said as he headed out. You gave him a wave and picked out a pair of black heels to go with the dress before you were heading home.

“Hey Jensen,” you said late that night. He’d had to go in for some photos in the afternoon and had taken quite a bit longer than he’d anticipated. “Leftovers are in the container on the top shelf.”

“Thanks, Y/N,” he said. He rubbed his eyes and padded into the kitchen before tossing the container in the microwave.

“Um, Jensen? Can I talk to you about work?” you asked. His ears perked up and he nodded while he looked around for a spoon. “Second drawer to the left.”

“Thanks,” he said. “So what’s up? Something wrong?”

“Not exactly. I was thinking earlier though about a backup plan,” you said. He took out the container and grabbed his spoon sitting across from you at the table.

“What’s a backup plan?” he asked, shoveling a spoonful of too hot pasta into his mouth.

“Well down in Austin, say I was suddenly unable to perform my job duties cause I’m sick or hurt or I’m off on vacation or whatever. Down there I have a network of other nannies that could step in temporarily, they can do a pick up or drop off in a bind, that sort of thing. It’s kind of a support group in way. It’s good for me and for you.”

“They must have one of those things up here?” he asked, taking a slower bite this time. You spun your computer around and he nodded. “Tornanny. That’s cute. You gotta sign up or something?”

“I need to take a four hour class. They have one on Saturday morning. Is it okay if I sign up?” you asked. He chuckled and took another bite of food.

“Weekends are still yours to do as you please. I need a bit more help during weeknights or mornings but weekends are still yours. I’m also compensating your pay for the additional time and no you’re not winning that argument so don’t even try.”

“Okay. I’m gonna sign up,” you said, turning the computer back.

“What was that thing on the side?” he asked.

“Hm?” you said as you started filling in the form.

“Some happy hour thing on the side,” he said. You flicked your eyes over to the side of the page and saw the group posting. “That could be fun.”

“Do I look like the kind of person that goes to happy hours?” you said.

“Well maybe you could meet a nanny friend in this group, one you could maybe get to cover for you if you ever needed it. I did steal you away from everything you know to a different country with a days notice after all. I’d go with you if you want,” he said.

“What about the kids?”

“Hm?”

“Jensen. I’m starting to see a fatal flaw in me being the nanny and us dating. I’m the person that should be watching the kids when you go out,” you said.

“Hm,” he said, eating for a few moments. “You do have a point. I think we need to renegotiate your contract.”

“Wait you’re firing me?” you said, Jensen shaking his head and laughing. “Okay cause you were about to lose a girlfriend for a second there.”

He smiled to himself and looked down, playing with his dinner.

“So what are you talking about?” you asked.

“Well, girlfriend,” he chuckled. “How about this? Weekends you don’t work, at all, for any reason. If you watch the kids for an hour while I duck to the store, it’s cause you’re doing it cause of us, not as part of your job. If we want to go out or on a date on the weekend, we’ll get a sitter. I had a go to in Vancouver when I lived there. I’ll give her a call, see if she knows anyone out here that would work. That sound good?”

“I guess that’s alright,” you said. He raised and eyebrow and you shrugged. “I enjoy our alone time, don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to take away from them though.”

“I appreciate the sentiment but I’m not saying…” he said before he trailed off and ate the last bites of his food. “I moved us so they could see me everyday which is far more than they ever did when I filmed my show. I will still make them breakfast. I will still put them to bed. I will still have lunch with them and play with them and all of it. They’ll always by my first priority. But a relationship with kids doesn’t always mean the kids are around. Sometimes they come with, sometimes they stay home. I’m not talking about ditching them for days on end. A few hours on a Saturday night, most of which they’ll be in bed asleep is all I’m talking about. We have a right to a little bit of time for ourselves. It’s not as easy with them than it was the first time around but we just have to try harder is all.”

“Okay,” you said. “I’m good with that. How was your first day?”

“Good. We did a lot of promotional stuff. I won’t start acting until next week. I heard you met Antony shopping today.”

“Yeah. I didn’t get a chance to tell you when I got home earlier. He seems like a nice guy.”

“He does. He invited us to dinner once we settle into a routine,” he said. “Apparently you two are shopping buddies now.”

“The man does know how to choose a dress.”

“Good thing I packed my lucky suit up here,” he said.

“Speaking of suits...you wouldn’t happen to have any of you in your Soldier Boy suit from today?”

“No spoilers,” he said with a smirk. You jutted out your lip and he rolled his eyes, taking out his phone. He tapped and slid it over to you, your eyes wide. You must have stared for a solid minute before you looked over at him, Jensen leaned back in his chair with his hands behind his head and a huge grin on his face. “You think I’m hot, don’t you.”

“Pft, no,” you said, biting your bottom lip before you licked it. He was still grinning out of the corner of your eye and you gave him the phone back. “Maybe...you’re kinda hot. But it’s totally the suit. Like right now, ugh, horrendous.”

“Nah, I’m hot,” he said, sticking out his stomach and rubbing it.

“I’m impressed you can actually do that,” you said.

“Everybody’s got a tummy,” he said. “Seriously though, you think the suit is cool?”

“It looks awesome. I’d love to see it in person,” you said.

“Oh you guys will be on set at some point,” he said. “I’m kinda nervous about next week.”

“Really? Why? You’re a great actor.”

“Have you ever seen a single thing I’ve done,” he chuckled.

“I did in fact see that horror movie on a date years ago. Something with like mining?” you asked.

“That’s what you saw? Like that movie? I hope the date worked out at least,” he said with a big smirk.

“Actually it was the crappy ex,” you said.

“Oh. You guys must have dated for a long time then.”

“Since we were seventeen,” you said. He stared and you shrugged. “I kept waiting for him to grow up and change. Eventually I realized he never would.”

“Did you love him?”

“I loved the idea of him. I liked him. I was with him for close to 12 years so I obviously liked him. But it wasn’t love. I could never be myself all the way around him and that’s not a way to live. There was none of that feeling when you first meet someone, you know?”

“Would I be pushing to ask if you ever thought about marrying the guy?”

“He did propose actually. A few times,” you said. “I turned him down. Things really went downhill from there though.”

“Why’d you say no?”

“I didn’t want to marry someone that made me feel bad about being me. Got tired of him telling me to get over everything that happened as a kid, dress a certain way, should I really have dessert, that kind of crap.”

“It’s part of who you are. I wouldn’t exactly call your past something to get over,” said Jensen. “Why would he even make you feel bad about it? You’re so normal.”

“I don’t think his daddy hugged him enough,” you said.

“No need to be a dick to other people for it,” he said. You smiled as you finished filling out the rest of the form for the class before sending it off. “Hey on the plus side I did get a good recommendation for daycare today. I was gonna check it out tomorrow morning, maybe get the twins in next week. Apparently they’re also hooked up with a school so JJ can go to school with some other American kids too instead of being stuck behind a screen here all day.”

“That’s great news. She can make some new friends that way. You know I was thinking maybe she could get signed up for indoor soccer. When I played the new season normally started right at the beginning of February.”

“Is it safe?” he asked. “I thought that could get pretty dangerous.”

“Adult leagues can be but kids her age it’s just running back and forth mostly. She could make some new friends, give her something fun to look forward to.”

“It’s not a bad idea. I would like her to be involved in something since she’s out of dance and soccer back home right now. I’ll talk it over with her in the morning,” he said. “She say something to you about it?”

“No. I just know what it’s like to be the new kid,” you said. “Soccer helped me make friends at school.”

“You and your mom move after your dad passed?” he asked.

“Uh, yeah. I was little so I don’t remember so much,” you said, an email coming in that your spot in the class was reserved. “Alright. Looks like I’m all set for eight on Saturday.”

“I’ll try not to keep you out too late on Friday night then,” he said.

“I never said that.”

“I like flirty you,” he said, both of you looking up at the ceiling when you heard a loud pair of giggles. “Duty calls. Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight Jensen.”

________

A/N: Read Part 5 here!

#spn #supernatural #Jensen x reader #jensen ackles #jensen ackles au #rpf #jensen series #rpf series #jensen ackles x reader #spn fanfic #jensen fanfic #jensen ackles fanfic #supernatural fanfic

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