#his flaw being loyalty affects the people around him and not always in a good way | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ambiguouscheese · 3 months

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Hello! 👋 May i have a matchup for genshin impact, please? Thank you so much ❤️

Description of personality : my mbti is INFP. I love chatting/talking with people! Even if i just met them, if they propose an interesting topic, it's pretty easy to hook me in a conversation. But i lose my energy easily :(

With the right people, i am bubbly, loud, and affectionate. I show my affections through physical contact, like hugging, holding hands, or kissing other people's cheeks/temple/forehead. I'm not shy to show how much i love people around me. I'll even say cheesy things (but i'm being completely honest)

I'm loyal. Like very very loyal, but my loyalty is hard to earned. If you make me love you and gain my loyalty, then expect me to be by your side through everything. Even if you hurt me, i wouldn't leave you and will always forgive you

My flaws? I get jealous easily. My jealousy is a nasty thing. I also tend to be emotionally distant sometimes-- though i'd never leave and my feelings will always be the same

Likes : mystery/horror novels, sweets, dolls, good chilly day, stars, slimes, theatre

Dislikes : rude people, loud sounds/noises, people fighting, angry people

Hobbies : reading novels or anything really, watching slimes and cat videos, making clothes for my dolls, singing

Gender preference : males

Characters i do not want : none (except the minors)

Do i want a minor or not : no, i don't want a minor

I hope this is not too long! Thank you so much. I hope you have a great day. Stay healthy and warm! ❤️✨

you have been matched with . . . kaeya alberich !!

✧ kaeya found your bubbly personality intriguing right off from when he walked into the bar and saw you chatting away with your friends happily. he found your outgoing shows of affection to be charming and from that day onwards, he decided to make it a mission of his to be one of your friends. he decided to approach you by starting conversation about a recently popular mystery novel, a topic he overheard you be passionate about in a conversation with someone else. you gladly joined the conversation, offering insightful feedback; one conversation went from one to another topic, and then to another, and somehow a few hours had passed and the only way he had realized was from noticing your social energy was drained. he took the hint and bid farewell for the night, but not before a promise of meeting again!

✧ you and kaeya often talked about recent books, analyzing a book together and rating how well done the plot twists were. as well as that, you two often enjoyed the theatre together, and eventually your outings together turned into dates which turned into courtship between the two of you! kaeya began to find himself smitten with your bold and genuine shows of affection, the very same ones he was captivated by when he first saw you, except now, they were directed to him. he gladly returns your physical affections, having no problem with public displays of affection with you while taking walks on the street or having meals at a nearby cafe.

✧ he tries his best to be involved with your hobbies, including watching cat and slime videos with you and attempting (key word on attempting because as fashionable as he is, he is terrible at making clothes) to make clothes for your dolls. at the end of the day, he'll give up on the clothes and leave it to you, perfectly content with just watching you. he realized your jealousy for the first time when he talked a little bit too sweetly to a newcomer; while he secretly was a little flattered that you loved him that much to the point of jealousy, he completely understands and did his best to not repeat that again for your sake. despite your emotional distance, he's often quite outgoing, with arranging new and creative dates for the two of you to go on together!

✧ kaeya both deeply loves and hates your loyalty. caution on the hate though, as he only hates it because he feels that he does not deserve your deep loyalty. he doesn't find it fair for you that even if he hurts you you'll still always forgive him- at the same time though, he loves it so much and wouldn't trade the world for it. he often feels selfish that he keeps your loyalty to himself, but he always tries to make up for what he thinks is unfair by bringing you gifts, showering with you affection, and always being there for you. he always notices what sets you off, such as when someone drunk at the bar begins talking a little too loud and with a not so pleasant tone, and when that happens, he brings you out right away to find something else to put your mind on.

#genshin matchups #matchups #x reader #kaeya x reader

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funkymbtifiction · 2 years

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Hi, do you have any tips for an INFJ 1w9 with an ENTP 8w7 boyfriend? We’ve been in a relationship for five months after being close friends for two years and we’ve recently had our first “serious�� argument, so I’m unsure about what the issue is from his POV / why he’s behaving the way that he is and I don’t know how to proceed...

Let me outline how 8 tends to work ‘in defense of loved ones.’ You said that you complain about this friend and her behavior all the time, yet remain friends with her—an 8 cannot understand that, because 8s aren’t loyalty or duty-driven and they don’t feel obligated to other people in the way that you do as a super-ego type.

8s are reactive, assertive types who if they did not like someone, or if someone kept hurting them over and over, would ditch them. “Life is too short” to waste on people that you don’t even like. 8s can be black and white in that way – why are you still “friends” with this person if they treat you like dirt or piss you off? Why are you “friends” with someone who insults you in public? Why are you helping someone who doesn’t deserve it?

Complaining to an 8 is an invitation to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. An 8 tends to get protective over the people they love, especially if they see them as ‘weak’ in the sense that “they are not defending themselves.” This friend insulted you in public, the 8 went to your defense, then got angry because you told him afterward that he should not have done that. This brought to the forefront the ongoing issue of “this friend” being stuck between you as a sore spot – someone you complain about and are frustrated with, but continue to put up with, which baffles the 8, because… “WHY are you doing this? WHY are you hanging out with someone that you don’t like that much, if you complain about them a lot? Why aren’t you doing anything about it??” An 8 wants to DO SOMETHING to fix the situation, or to stop this from happening, so they feel frustrated that you are… not, because they would take decisive (often premature) action.

It doesn’t mean he could be jealous of the time you spend with this person, no; it’s an inconsistency between you being frustrated with someone enough to vent around him, but “passively” (in his mind) not doing anything to resolve/end the situation.

In my experience with 8s, they see it as their job to defend you and can’t understand why you won’t defend yourself. I found out that the more 6ish “venting” I did about people in my life, the more negative the 8’s opinions became of them, because “they are upsetting you a lot, and you do nothing about it.” Because I only talked about the inconsiderate things they did, or things I as a 6 saw as a “problem,” he only received the “negative side of the story.” I only ever talked about what was BOTHERING me, not the harmonious times between us, or when they made me feel good. As a result, my 8 came to see people who “hurt me” as “toxic.” My solution, therefore, had to become to learn to watch what I say around him, in the newfound awareness that I was influencing his emotions toward or against people in my life. When I asked him once why he always got so angry whenever I vented about something, he answered that their behavior was affecting MINE, and forcing him to deal with it by extension, and he doesn’t want to. AKA, this third person is “disrupting my peace” (8w9).

In your case, whenever you vent about a problem with this friend, not only does your 8w7 boyfriend see it as a disruption / indication that you are putting up with way too much, his 7 wing isn’t having a good time. 7 wings get angry about being denied fun, freedom, and enjoyment of life. In his mind, if you are annoyed by this person (and that is interrupting your good times with him), then you should delete the problem (the relationship) and move on. His 7 wing would also be inclined to ditch them and run, rather than try to work through an ongoing problem, because that’s hard and means admitting to MY flaws as well. I really recommend you dig into 8-ness and 7-ness to figure out how your boyfriend works; read all you can about both types, listen to podcasts about them by 8s, and realize that an 8 is used to taking charge of situations and seeking power dynamics. And they often shoot from the hip.

That being said, I don’t advocate suppressing your true feelings about someone, and I know that venting is absolutely the only way to cope with difficult people. But I think you need to be aware that what you say about someone is going to shape your boyfriend’s feelings toward them – so if all he ever hears is your frustration centered on them, he’s going to dislike them for hurting you. So you need to think about that, when deciding how and when to share your feelings with him, or in what you share with him; it may be that you should curb or direct some of your negative feelings elsewhere, rather than to put them in his ear, because being an 8, he doesn’t understand why you do nothing about it.

Regarding your friend… you also may need to listen to your 8, and to consider whether you really like this person, or if you are putting up with far too much out of an ego-stance of “I should… be nice to her, help her, etc.” I have seen 1s get stuck in abusive situations because of their rigid refusal to walk away from people, out of a super-ego place of “addressing my anger directly to them is bad,” and “I SHOULD be totally selfless, because a truly GOOD person would help them through this.” Or you might need to take a step back, and think about whether your frustrations with them are overblown, in the sense that as a 1, your expectations from them are too high. It’s often helpful just to recognize “I am being too hard on them/critical of everyone…” and use that to remind yourself to cut people some slack. It may be that you are judging her unnecessarily, and that if you can stop yourself from doing that, you will no longer need to vent as many frustrations to the 8, which will keep you all happier.

As for resolving your argument – you could approach it by telling him that you were wrong to jump on him, and you deeply appreciate him defending you, because it shows you how much he cares about you. If that seems to prepare the way, calmly ask him why ‘helping her’ bothers him and let him explain without arguing with anything. As much as you might want to argue all of his points, listen and then thank him for sharing, and say you will think about it, and walk away. That gives him the space to air his feelings and will give you time to formulate a response after you have processed it. I would assume nothing about his motivations at this point, and see if you can get him to tell you what they are. But IMO, if he’s still defensive about it, leave it alone. Pushing him is only going to make him lash out.

#question #enneagram #enneagram 8

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c3m3t4ry · 2 years

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Please info dump about Rex :3 I would like to hear more

you’re in fucking luck im hyperfixated!!!! i’m working on a more concise document, but for now here are my ramblings.

rex’s whole lore and story is shifting as i actually play the game- i haven’t beaten it yet but yknow. i get the gist. thank you for asking me to infodump i went fucking insane down there

// abuse, self harm, suicide/suicide ideation , game typical violence

Basics

rex is an incredibly apathetic deputy. he has very little confidence in his own abilities to help the county, but continues to do so nonetheless. his motives are unknown to most, but a lot of it stems from not wanting to let whitehorse and burke (along with other npcs) down. he has no genuine hope that he can stop the cult, but for the people he’s grown to care about, he’s ready to die trying.

he’s aimless and despondent, but he isn’t stupid. he likes to plan and to strategize. they’re a big stealth/melee guy.

his closest friends consist of whitehorse, mary, sharky, and jess. i would put burke on the list but uhmmm. ermmmmm. well i shant say.

anywho. he doesn’t care enough to really dislike any of the NPCS, but peaches is sure fucking close. they’re cautious around her to say the least (he is scared of cats :( )

vis a vis the Seed family, he’d honestly be very susceptible to the cult’s propaganda if he hadn’t already had loyalties to the resistance. the henbane was rough for him, and his ‘leap of faith’ was mostly him hoping to kill himself. killing faith was one of the harder things they had to do in their journey, but her death is also a major turning point in his lore and mental health. (for the better, thank fuck)

he thinks john was a funny motherfucker, couldn’t take his ass seriously despite being tortured by him. jacob’s an asshole though, fuck that guy. his opinions on joseph are neutral at best.

Backstory shit

backstory wise, rex had a fairly rough childhood. he was born and raised in new mexico, with his physically abusive father and mother. he’d always been closer with his mother (duh), and her suicide hit him reasonably like a fucking semi truck. he’s struggled with mental illness his whole life, but is most affected by his depression and BPD. he coped with self harm, harm of others, etc. he’s had multiple suicide attempts.

they’ve always been somewhat of a loose canon, and consistently floated in and out of juvenile detention centers. they flunked out of public school and had to finish their high school education online- a mix of his unstable emotions and the constant bullying he dealt with weren’t making a good learning environment.

once he was an adult, juvenile detention centers turned into county jail. they were known to be trouble, easy to trigger and start a scrap with. whitehorse was quite familiar with him, and despite their flaws, he saw some potential in them. he inspired them to try and enter the career, and though rex first responded with pushback, they figured they weren’t doing anything else with their lives.

Trivia

they’re a cat person, despite being terrified of peaches.

they have gods worst RBF. he always looks so pissed despite being neutral about most things

john cut off one of his tattoos and he cried for like a day afterwards he was PISSED

he has super autism. he made sharky even more autistic

whitehorse and burke are basically father figures to him. nick comes close, but he’s shit at flying planes so he doesn’t visit much.

i like to ship my characters and i think him and sharky together r funny as hell. i am also partial to rex/mary because she’s underrated :(

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blueteller · 2 years

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Why is Cale so lovable, actually? What's his secret??

Here's the thing: despite his flaws, KRS-Cale's charisma is insane, even for protagonist standards. Why is that?

Sure, it's a standard protagonist quality to use the ✨Power of Friendship✨ to save the day, but Cale has the unique ability to – completely unintentionally – turn EVERYONE around him into simps, sometimes even his enemies. And that, bizarrely, includes the audience. No don't lie to me, I've been in this fandom for a month already, I have eyes!

So, how does that keep happening, exactly??

To answer that question, allow me to first introduce you to a very important concept for healthy relationships: the 5 languages of love.

Words of affirmation

Quality time

Physical touch

Acts of service

Receiving gifts

A no, this does not apply only to romantic relationships - it's ALL relationships. Every person has their own preferences, both in showing and receiving them, usually 2 or 3 of them being the most important ones for a person. For example, I'm a "words" and "touch" person myself: I like hugs and people telling me they care about me. Pretty simple concept.

So, here's the thing. I've been re-reading TCF, and I came to a very important conclusion: Cale, completely by accident, absolutely excels at all five love languages.

It's so subtle you might not realize it at first. It does't sound like someone with such a closed personality, does it? It's especially confusing when you consider his background: an abused orphan who was pretty much always alone. But perhaps because he never recieved much affection growing up, he currently compensates by subconsciously sharing what he always wanted to receive, yet never got as a child. And because he ends up in a world where he's surrounded by abused children who didn't get enough affection, it's so darn effective, winning people's undying love and loyalty instantly.

Let's look at these one by one, shall we?

1. Words of affirmation

Cale has a tendency to accidentally say exactly what the listener needs to hear. But it's not all bluff, and not all luck. Cale is actually quite wise. He gives proper words of encouragement, based entirely on his knowledge and judgemment. For example: he tells Choi Han that he can protect people. He tells Raon that he should live freely and that he's great and mighty. He tells Alberu he deserves to rule the kingdom. He tells Mary not to "listen to nonsense". He tells Rosalyn she's reliable and capable. The list goes on and on.

Cale might not be saying "I love you" directly, but he is saying "Good job, take good care of yourself"... which pretty much amounts to the same thing.

2. Quality time

It might sound ridiculous, but... taking down Arm and saving the world is actually their perfect family quality time. Laugh if you want, but I'm serious! They're not a regular family, after all. They were all hurt, scarred and/or betrayed by the secret organization at some point. By destroying them and saving the world together, Cale not only gives his friends a purpose - he is also giving them closure. Revenge, retribution, healing, moving forward... it's all there. THAT'S some quality time!

3. Physical touch

While he's certainly not hugger or anything (not counting the Choi Han battle hug or Alberu's showman embraces, those were always an act), Cale is not averse to touching people either. Head pats for the children are quite common. Cale also touches people on the shoulder a lot, have you noticed? Like when Jack cried over Hannah, or when Cale congratulated Choi Han on a job well done after rescuing Raon. It's subtle, but it's there: his touch means support, affection and respect. It definitely counts.

4. Acts of service

Pretty much everything Cale does ends up helping other people, one way or another. Considering the sheer scale of Cale's actions, it's only natural that combined with the other love languages, it makes others feel great admiration towards Cale. He might not like it, because he sees those acts of service as "self-serving". But I think Cale was the most honest about it at the beginning of the story: when he gave On and Hong bread for the first time. "You don't need a reason for things your heart draws you to."

Cale actually, genuinely wants to help others. It's just he's so overworked already, he doesn't want the expectations and responsibility that comes with other people relying on him. As an orphan, he was made to believe that taking care of his own interests is inherently selfish, but somehow, he only applies that when thinking about himself. Despite everything, he actively encourages others to take care of themselves while neglecting himself. No wonder people love him.

5. Receiving gifts

Despite liking money so much, he's extremely generous. He lets go of five billions when selling Toonka – whom he "doesn't even like" – some documents back from the magic tower pretty much "just because". Sure, Alberu told him to do it, but Cale wouldn't listen to him if he didn't want to. You'd think his previous life of poverty would make him greedier than that. But while he steals from bad guys with no remorse, he gives to his allies freely with even less remorse. Sure, he expect them to "repay" him with their services, but you'd have to be blind not to notice how beneficial those deals are for everyone involved. And his kids? Cale downright spoils them. Sure he "scams" Raon by letting him pick one magic gemstone out of hundreds, or a single coin out of Alberu's pockets... but that's just responsible parenting more than anything.

And remember how he asked Basen and Lily what they wanted as a gift at the beginning? There was absolutely no ulterior motive to that: zero. He did it literally just because. Remeber when he gave Raon an additional pouch with healing potions when he just met him? Or when he gave Choi Han the same pouch when he sent him off to find Lock and Rosalyn? Yeah. Cale does that pretty much all the time in the novel.

Conclusion: the reason why Cale is so lovable is because he's already so loving 😊

#tcf #trash of the count's family #lcf #lout of the count’s family #cale henituse #cale #tcf cale #kim rok soo #analysis #character analysis #love langauges #cale is very lovable #he's literally the only one who doesn't know that

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sugar-petals · 3 years

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:: random things about boyfriend yoongi

↳ ♡ NOTE I saw this format floating around the fandom and thought it was cool and sweet (just like our honey boy so here it goes) 😊 includes an sfw and nsfw bit, both can be read independently.

words. 3k

SFW

First off, Yoongi is laid-back and casually sexy the way we know him. But he also has spikes of energy where he actually gets a little clingy. Any opportunity he will use to hold hands or jump around like a madman with his gummy smile because he got excited about something that you never could predict would make him so happy. He truly is an epiphany.

He’s your most eager personal chef but funnily enough a little unsettled by onions so you end up helping him. Yoongi hates to be crying in the kitchen because of some evil little vegetable but hey, perfect time and place to spend half an hour huddled together cooking or baking. And Yoongi is secretly longing for a cheesy scene, he finds it romantic when you wipe the tears from his face.

His way of speaking to you is a mix of mumbly Korean, high-pitched pouty cat speak, and old-school English slang phrases that he learned somewhere on social media or award shows back in 2018. Most of the time he takes things seriously but is up for some joking anyway. He is sure to giggle every now and then which is really adorable of him. Yoongi is also the person who gets every nuance of your humor and reacts to it.

After being single, you really have to get used to someone waddling around the house. Like— oh, he’s there! And it’s none other than him! Since Yoongi isn’t noisy when he concentrates on his laptop, it really stands out when he morphs from his unmovable rock-like being to a slow rolling stone headed towards the kitchen from time to time. You have to blink every time. And how could you not look up, he’s walking by with his cutest oversized sweaters and striped fluffy socks.

He cannot hide things that normal people would try to keep secret — because of their own discomfort, but he is good at blocking out things that serve your comfort. I’ll explain what I mean. If you have been keeping up with Yoongi postponing the reveal of his surgery until it was successful, you know what I mean. In short, Yoongi is pretty much an automatic filter for things that disturb you. Knowing the right time and place to inform you is the key. As is disregarding things that don’t concern you as a couple, unnecessary drama and opinions. He’s really good at that without ever trying to sugar-coat the important things because he remains a frank and honest soul.

Yoongi has an easier time giving random presents for simple occasions rather than making a big deal out of traditional festivities. So, big celebrations are often kept simple — unless the rest of BTS is there advocating their ‘a little party never killed nobody’ motto — while Yoongi focuses on getting you something attentive or useful every other day pretty much. He’s still a frugal type, you know him. It’s more about inexpensive things that catch his eye because he heard you likes this or that type of snack or want this or that sofa cushion.

There’s always something new and surprising in the fridge and it’s hardly ever empty because Yoongs takes care of the groceries, really thinking it through. Just personal chef things. Being Yoongi’s partner must be the most destressing thing. He takes responsibility for the worldly things, the ironing clothes and the trash cans. He himself thinks that’s the easiest shit ever and is ready to put time into it (he sees the merit, it drives him) while thinking your side — the sheer act of being in love with him, being there for him — must be hard. Which it isn’t.

Yoongi thinks emotions and relationships are tough and complicated while daily life runs smoothly at the snap of a finger. You think maintenance is a drudgery while love is not the maze your boyfriend assumes it is. Deep down Yoongi thinks he’s unlovable and a bad person, that’s why he believes he doesn’t have the burden but you have. That your affection then blazes past the barriers in Yoongi’s esteem is something that he finds incredible. It catches him off guard there, you burst the bubbles of the flaws he falsely imagines he has.

You bet your ARMY bomb you’re watching cat videos together.

Guess who’s the first person to hear all of Yoongi’s upcoming hit tracks? Even Namjoon gets the first sample ten minutes later. You gotta be really advanced at keeping secrets and avoiding accidental leaks with your phone or something.

Yoongi hesitates with the analogy because it’s a little funny and you’re evidently not a steaming liquid made of beans, but he claims you really are like his daily americano. Makes his every morning better.

Now, in all seriousness. What means the most to him is that you take him how he is and are stable company. Yoongi is afraid of betrayal and stupid games so he has to be sure to have a safe bet going. I think that’s why he fancies marriage, it’s a sign of commitment and some degree of permanence to him. And yes, he is a bit jealous in nature since he’s easily invested in someone with a purity of feeling, almost in a naive way. Yoongi easily idolizes his partner and puts a lot of energy into a bond. He wants to protect that, take the risk, and he has watched for someone who radiates genuine trust and faith. He is sure to have found it in you without any illusions and he is right. Loyalty, loyalty, loyalty.

Playing the piano for dinner or date night is a must, he practices constantly to advance to a great standard. He secretly finds a lot of satisfaction in you cooing at his skills and melodies. Those ten bony fingers gliding over the keys with such a technicality and focus, and a passion that makes you hold your breath, it’s great to watch.

Did you see that one coming? He will compose and produce a designated mixtape only for you personally. Yes, with a little self-filmed, self-cut music video for the title track.

Now those things never see the light of day, they’re all for you. But what about your couple life once it touches the social realm? As one might expect, Yoongi is very ‘eyes turn narrow’ with people who bring disharmony to your dynamic and the relationship in general. In fact, he is grumpy and disappointed, and should someone give him a reason, distinctly brutal. If someone even attempts to test you or plays manipulative games, Yoongi is relentlessly turning them from the inside out with his words that never miss the mark. They’re efficient. As I said, he hates playing annoying games, he’ll do any shortcut and be Yoongi.

I guarantee you can lean back and will never the fazed by stupid people and time wasters again. No need to lose face. Yoongi does the dirty work and is the best possible defender to have on your side. He handles that. Invasive opinions and useless phrases he will shove right up some trashtalker’s ass and leave. Let’s squarely say he is unafraid to be a armchair critic of your and his haters and doesn’t want any of that nuisance to disturb what you have together. He cuts very quick and makes sure not to get tangled up in trouble.

Yoongi will also debunk a whole bunch of weirdos on weverse asking about your private love while he’s at it. Prepare for some very entertaining snide remarks. Oh my god, so many entitled people will be pissed off. Many will also celebrate him for stepping up. What’s actually important to Yoongi is that nobody taints what is like a treasure to him.

It won’t be hard to overlook that Yoongi is very proud of you as well. He looks confident and revering when he hangs out with the group and you’re somewhere close by, even just doing something trivial.

He’s also pretty touchy, sometimes publically to demonstrate something, but mostly in the relative calm and safety of a hotel room. When the lights are out, all barriers crash, the utter romantic takes over. His favorite types of kisses besides those onto his hands are when you kiss his lashes. And yep. Yoongs is such a cozy little spoon. A very curled up one with cute shooky pajamas on most likely.

Talk about clothes. Believe it or not, Yoongi’s fashion goes through a significant change due to the relationship. He knows that you are touchy and thinks about what kinds of flannels are the biggest cuddle magnet, after all. And oh wonder, he will also show some level of skin when he accidentally hears your praises for his arms and legs and collar bones and glowy skin while talking to a close friend of yours. So, look forward to that in summer (he still dislikes the winter cold and wraps himself into scarves twice his size, mind you) though it’s still for your eyes only, he covers up when going out. Truth be told, he enjoys when you casually touch his skin. Especially the arms. Which hold up the firmament to you, and your world, too, and guard it.

BTS will know about how excited he is about you because he often boasts about for how long you’ve been living together by now. We all know this is Yoongi’s favorite way of bragging and it further shows that loyalty, dedication and longevity is the spice to his every meal.

Yoongi is probably going to quit the bottle because you naturally make him feel at ease and upbeat. In fact, he simply forgets about his wine. I don’t have to convince you that Yoongi will be very immersed in any interaction with you whether that be watching movies or discussing his latest tracks.

Those discussions come with extra back massages for him because he spends a lot of hours in his chair. Especially around the neck, it’s no secret that this is in every cat’s top 3 favorite massaging areas. Yoongi is gonna make some really raspy, sleepy sounds and just melt in your hands. He’s gonna sleep like a baby afterwards every time. Sometimes, he says funny and cute things while he dozes. He looks very content.

Say goodbye to the 21st century adulting annoyances in your life because Yoongi has a grip on those without a word. Those six specific chores that always plague you take him only a dozen minutes and he is eager, the forms to fill out are already sent off, the list of people to e-mail is weeded through. The taxes are paid, the bank account is full, the meals are on the table, garnished to perfection. Roof over the head, and it’s a sturdy one, Yoongi bought a sound haven house to inhabit a lot of happiness for two.

He’s probably the only person who doesn’t see it as a loss of dignity if you want to hold on tight to him during a dentist visit as a grown ass mf. Why all of this? Yoongi cannot not strive to feel needed in his actions. He wouldn’t like himself if he couldn’t contribute something reliable and useful. That you find things worthy of your time is priority. You complement each other, what you think is a waste of energy makes him work and strive and vice versa. That way, in the end all things are taken care of.

Giving is more important than taking in Yoongi’s world. He thinks of everything because he considers it an offense to have you in a pile of duties, that is, if you don’t like ‘em. It’s his form of dedicating his efforts and showing respect. He doesn’t need much in return. The things he expects if at all don’t feel like a duty: Much like he doesn’t consider doing those acts of services for you likewise.

Work horse he is, he needs something on his daily to-do plan. Which includes making you feel unbothered by the occasions of an incoming strict world when it’s getting to you. You’re supposed to do what you feel like doing just like him and not slave away at fifty deeds. That you torture yourself with daily life hassle is the thing he dislikes seeing the most. He enjoys doing these things so he’s happy to get going.

What’s not a daily life hassle: Holly is a big fan of yours. Instant friendship. Just wanted you to know.

He always knows how to preoccupy himself and finds something to improve. Getting on your nerves, and that’s no surprise, is the last thing Yoongi will ever do. In fact, you sometimes have to search for his napping spot because he got lost somewhere in the house.

He either sleeps or works, his philosophy is simple. If you need him, he does appear seemingly out of nowhere. And, he spends as much time with you as you enjoy, not always prioritizing his producing unless it’s urgent or he’s on an inspiration streak. Which is great anyway, you can sit next to him listening. It’s the right balance of work and play.

Yoongi is not above blatantly showing off. Actually, he goes for an act of stunning pretty often. You know how cats parade around whatever they just caught. He wants to impress you with assets and accolades and appraisals, the boy can’t help it. That you only lightly nod at most of it with a little smile will confuse him but he will get the point later on. You wanna signal Yoongi that you anchor your love for him not in shifting numbers and chunky metal pieces.

That you don’t confuse his signs of outward worth and fame with the core of the guy you find the sweetest in the world is very important to him. He will take some time to see through that because he’s used to being loved through status and its symbols by people close and afar.

The way you throw yourself at him to give a big smooch in random situations — especially when he doesn’t feel great about himself— rather than only when he say gets a new car is sending him a message. Again, he has to grow into that. He will retreat at the beginning because he feels worthless of your affection on days where he doesn’t feel big and bold and successful. But since he sees you jumping on him because you need only his kind and squishy presence and see him as no different than usual because he’s always Yoongi underneath, your boyfriend will change his mind about it sooner or later. He learns that your presence makes him feel like a billion dollars yourself.

You don’t wallow in the regrets of other people missing the point of Yoongi and instead focus on always understanding him rather than enabling Yoongi into wrong directions. And there are many of those, his mental health can tell you a thing or two about it. He begins to get that you really know what you’re doing and are in it for the real him which makes him feel really loved far underneath all surfaces and images. You accept his fame and admire his work with music which is what he’s truly doing it for but also don’t forget that the most vulnerable Yoongi is the one that you’re there for and not a facade.

NSFW

I know you’re curious. That Yoongi’s sexual style is more than just interesting goes without saying. To give you an idea. Anything steamy with Yoongi means him taking his time. You know, for making it quality. Yoongi wants to grow into the right balance of activity and staying relaxed. He is good at keeping cool and bringing some focus to the madness. He wants to figure out how to be more casual instead of tense and overly preoccupied which he’ll be at the start of the relationship. But the fast learner he is, his nervousness fades way faster than you think.

Yoongi is extremely afraid that he can’t please you or starts to become awkward slash clueless so he darts to the opposite of the spectrum and overperforms, even plays a character. You have enough cool yourself to tell him what to do in the pace that works best. That he stays centered in his body is important for you to teach him. When he gets grounded and juggling his confidence is out of the equation, he fucks the best.

His favorite position besides giving oral — with you on your back — will be doggy style. Man, we gotta talk about that. Slow to upper moderate pace, nothing too all over the place. Yoongi moans very slowly, too, all drawn out. Get ready for a frequent session of some anal to unwind. You heard that right. First, Yoongi will get the two of you into the right rhythm with his hands at the sides of your waist, then, ride it out in slow mo with his right hand properly stimulating you from the front.

By habit, he will add some lube here and there but not use insanely dripping amounts so everything gets messy or he can’t touch you without sliding off anymore. Just enough to slide well. Yoongi is so good at this I swear, it’ll be your favorite thing to relax. He has the restraint and technique to pull it off rather than pulling out, huh. Yoongi is gonna stay inside you for ages. It feels like he’s massaging every spot for some extra time. It’s amazing to slack off your muscles, cool off, and get many a gentle but fulfilling orgasm.

He’s not gonna put you through the hassle of dealing with an anal creampie cleanup so he keeps it wrapped, and mostly focuses on your movements altogether while keeping his own climax smooth and more relieving rather than something that relentlessly knocks him out in one go. Yoongi is good at observing and doesn’t feel the need to chase a violent high which is why he is so great at sex. Fucking with Yoongi leaves a wholesome feeling and you never feel ashamed or guilty, or a sense of being dirty and ruined.

He enjoys having sex to make you feel really good and works his hands on you very respectfully. His goal is to have you wet and pulsing after a long while of getting you there, and putting you to a good night’s sleep. He’d feel terrible if he left you sore or disturbed. He is really passionate, especially with his kisses or when you ask him to slide into very deeply, but Yoongi being brash and controlling is an image out of sight.

Besides giving you the number one heavenly assfucks, Yoongi also likes to work his tongue as we know, and he’ll work it all over. Few body parts of yours have not made contact with that glorious mouth and I say that in the best of ways. You can instruct him to do whatever, Yoongi obliges with radiant joy. And here again, he takes minutes upon minutes. Kissing and kissing and licking and maybe even teasing once or twice to make you smile. You know, a little signature wink. Honoring your skin and every shape is not something that Yoongi has to talk about, he will physically show it and I swear it’ll finally get into your head with every little move, Yoongi has totally surrendered his tongue to your body and worships it.

#yoongi #yoongi hc #bts smut #yoongi smut #bts #yoongi x reader #boyfriend yoongi #yoongi scenario #yoongi imagine #bts x reader #boyfriend bts #bts bullet points #bangtan

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honeyby · 4 years

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It is very important that Ruby’s leadership is being challenged.

If the show has made anything clear it’s that blindly following one person is a terrible idea. Oz didn’t fully trust anyone and when the truth came out it nearly broke Qrow and destroyed any trust the heroes had in him. Ironwood was very open with his subordinates but demanded absolute and unwavering loyalty which leads to Clover’s death and him turning on RWBY. Both have nothing but good intentions but between their own character flaws and the fact that no one around them is really an equal (Oz is the only person with all of the information while all of Ironwood’s subordinates are just that: subordinates) they ultimately fail to be good leaders.

People are flawed. No individual is right all the time or has all the answers and the same applies to Ruby. She always does what she thinks is right but not every situation has a clear best solution and Ruby is not the only person that can make a good decision. We have three other main characters plus major secondary characters with their own opinions and views! There was always going to be a time where there would be a disagreement about what to do because of that.

And now we’re at that situation. They’re faced with a difficult choice: do what they can to help evacuate Mantle or warn the rest of the world. Both are very important! Ironwood abandoning Mantle is a big part of what has them on opposite sides and evacuating people is a solid goal that they KNOW they can contribute to. Getting Amity up in the air is a bigger picture goal that will affect more people but is also much higher risk with a lower chance of success. It’s why there’s a split in which one is right, because both have pros and cons and so it comes down to personal values and why they eventually agree to go after both.

And Ruby...isn’t the person to suggest splitting up. She isn’t the one who finds a compromise, and I’m very interested to see where she goes from here. This is the first time she’s had to deal with a major disagreement over her leadership and she didn’t find the solution everyone could agree with. But this and the fact the she’s challenged in the first place are important because they give her something to grow and learn from. It will give her the chance to prove herself as a better leader than Oz and Ironwood before her. What she learns from this will only make her a better leader in the long run.

Ruby is already on her way to doing a better job than them. She’s honest with her teammates and friends and doesn’t demand that they only do as she says. But this is the first time she’s really having to deal with someone openly questioning her. How she handles this going forward and what she learns from it will set her apart from them. I don’t see this conflict ending with Yang being like “I’m sorry I should’ve just listened to you and not thought for myself”. Not when a big theme of the show is that blindly following someone is a bad idea. This conflict can only end with them growing closer and understanding each other’s view points, and with Ruby proving she is a good leader by being able to deal with disagreements in the group in a healthy way.

#rwby #Ruby rose #and I can’t say this enough:#other people can make decisions #other people can be right #there’s no clear right or wrong here #Ruby doesn’t have a monopoly on good decisions #I love Ruby but this idea that she’s always right ain’t it #or that she should always be painted as right #she’s doing what she thinks is right but she’s just a person #and the people around her have valid views too #note this not a ‘she should just listen to Oz/ironwood’#or a ‘Oz/Ironwood are right’ post #no #it’s my view on the conflict and how she’s going to avoid the mistakes they’ve made #and my opinion that being challenged like this is a good thing for her as a character and leader #because she’s going to grow from this and I can’t wait to see it #this also not a ‘Yang’s right and Ruby’s wrong’ post or vice versa #they’re both right #and they’re both a little wrong #it’s a complicated situation #which is good because it will help develop their relationship!#little red #rwby spoilers #rwby8

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writingquestionsanswered · 2 years

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Hello :) thank you for taking the time and energy with this blog. I come here every now and then and the depth of responses and care is just phenomenal. You give really personalised answers and that’s lovely. So thank you ❤️

My question/worry is this - my main character is a quiet, doubtful person, lead to believe by his grandmother that he will never be fit to lead/is tainted because of his lineage (he has half the blood of an outsider). As a result, he is very obedient and tries harder than most to do right by his people. This suppresses a lot of his personality and makes him very quiet and (I’m worried) potentially boring. Because he’s only ever known his people, he doesn’t know any better and honestly sort of believes he isn’t ‘worthy’ of leading. I’m trying to conjure up negative traits of a quiet, obedient and loyal person, but they just don’t seem to fit. I was wondering if you had any suggestions?

Thank you for taking the time to read this xxx

Negative Traits for a Quiet, Obedient Person

First, thank you so much for your kind words! I'm so glad you're enjoying the blog! ♥

So, I want to start by addressing the fact that being quiet, obedient, and loyal does not make a person boring. I think we tend to think "personality" as being a collection of positive, upbeat traits, but that's not true at all. Our personalities are a collection of both positive and negative traits.

Many psychologists believe there are five basic areas of personality, each existing on a spectrum: openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. If you think of each area as a column, and each spectrum as going from the bottom of each column to the top, most people's "toggles" for each area will fall at different heights in each section. You might be above the 75% mark in openness, around the 60% mark for conscientiousness, the 20% mark for extraversion... you get the point. But, even for someone who bottoms out (or tops out) in each column, that is still a personality. The key is to figure out where your character falls in each column and how that affects their behavior.

In terms of flaws, there are a lot of flaws that work well with quiet, obedient, and loyal, and with someone who doesn't believe they'd be a worthy leader. Insecurity, for example. According to the Negative Trait Thesaurus, one of the causes of insecurity can be "growing up with overly critical parents or guardians," so that definitely fits. Associated behaviors fit, too: keeping to oneself (quiet), feeling like one has no skills/talents (doesn't feel they'll make a good leader), sticking close to people they feel comfortable with (loyal).

There are other behaviors associated with insecurity that could make things more interesting for this character: overcompensating for insecurities in certain areas by focusing on other areas, blaming self when bad things happen, engaging in unhealthy relationships, seeking acceptance through unhealthy measures, giving in to peer pressure, befriending anyone who offers attention, self-destructive behaviors, emulating those whose acceptance they seek... lots of interesting aspects to being insecure.

It might help to remember that anything can be a flaw if it impacts the person or others in negative ways. Even loyalty can be a flaw if that loyalty causes more harm to themselves or others than good.

If you can get yourself a copy of The Negative Trait Thesaurus, you might find it really helpful in navigating this character's flaws. They have a positive trait thesaurus as well.

And, one last thing to keep in mind: being quiet, insecure, or loyal to a fault doesn't preclude someone from having interests, fears, hopes, dreams, likes, and dislikes... and those are all important elements of personality, too!

I hope that helps! ♥

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kinatalks · 3 years

Text

Let’s talk about DiaLuci.

Look, this isn’t a judgement call. This is merely a flat out explanation and something that should be recognized. There will be a few S2-3 spoilers, but it’s mainly vague, not going into details.

Be aware: This covers sensitive topics regarding the ship, toxic behaviors, abusive relationships, and the angel event.

Firstly, if you support DiaLuci, good for you! I’m not here to shame someone for their ships. But this fandom has a habit of attacking others who aren’t so fond of this ship. Someone can like Diavolo, and not support Dialuci. You can support Lucifer, and not like Dialuci. Or hell, you could dislike either/or both characters and fucking love the ship! No matter which character or ship you like or dislike, you are completely valid.

But this is a post, about the issues with the ship that I personally see, and why it should be more outspoken.

Now lets get to the point of the subject, shall we?

I fairly like Diavolo. He’s charming, joyous, and someone who would be the star of a party. Someone cheerful and bright. However, the way that this fandom persecutes anyone who doesn’t like Diavolo or feels uncomfortable around him is not ok.

In my opinion, Diavolo has shown signs of immature and insensitive behavior. I.e. the way he treats others like toys. Yes, he cares about them, but often doesn’t consider their feelings in things he considers ‘mere pranks.’ This may be because Barbatos constantly assures him that the future will be fine, since Barbatos can manipulate and choose timelines.

He wants the best for the people around him, but doesn’t exactly take criticism or resistance to his advances kindly. “Well duh, he’s a ruler!” So? Yes, he’s a ruler, but that doesn’t mean he should be inconsiderate about others around him. The fact that he disregards others opinions unless it fits his agenda, is a sign of his childishness.

Which means, that over time, Diavolo doesn’t hold much regard to his actions, as Barbatos is always there to catch him. Now that doesn’t mean he constantly is reckless. When it comes to official Devildom matters, Diavolo is an apt ruler, who makes decisions for the Devildom’s best interests.

The problem is, no one has told Diavolo about his less than savory behavior. Because they fear him, and fear the punishments he could inflict upon them. So I can’t really say that he’s a completely bad character.

He wants Lucifer to be his equal, and acknowledge the fact that Diavolo sees him as an equal. Diavolo’s lonely, and it’s explicitly stated as so. He envies the closeness the brothers have. So, he goes about it in the only way he knows how. Which we’ll get to a bit later.

As for Lucifer, I can’t deny I’m quite fond of him. He does his best to overcome his pride for MC, and gradually (in S2-3), he becomes more open with his feelings. Yes, he’s a deeply flawed character, but he’s not a complete villain. The world simply isn’t as black and white as some would like it to be.

Yes, his relationship with some of his brothers is toxic. The way he treats Mammon at times is unacceptable, and possibly abusive in my opinion. The fact that he acts cold and distant to his brothers at times isn’t ok. But one thing I’ve seen others overlook, is that Lucifer is the Avatar of Pride. Does this excuse his actions? No. Does it explain some of his habits? Yes.

Don’t get me wrong, he still has a lot to work on. But he’s getting there, and actively trying to get better.

Now for the ship.

You do not need to like a ship, just because a character from that ship is constantly seen with the partner. Like I’ve said above, you can hate or love Diavolo or Lucifer, and dislike/like the ship.

As for the oath, I won’t delve too deep into this, as it would take essays upon essays worth of information. But we all know that, Diavolo had given Lucifer an ultimatum. Save Lilith, at the cost of Lucifer’s unquestionable loyalty.

Which as we’ve seen, Lucifer had agreed to the terms. And so, he is now Diavolo’s most trusted advisor, his right hand man.

Even though Diavolo says or implies that he sees Lucifer as an equal. He doesn’t always seem to show it. The power imbalance in between both characters is evident, throughout the plot of the story. If Lucifer denies Diavolo’s advances, Diavolo will continue. Why?

Well, you could argue that his behavior is due to him being royalty. Which is true, he’s royalty, and has never been told no. Barbatos has always been there, fixing his mess, so why would he need to worry?

Diavolo praises Lucifer, in a manner that is clearly uncomfortable to the latter. It’s evident that Lucifer despises being praised for his beauty, and just his looks. I’ve seen blogs see it as ‘just a joke’ or ‘being playful’. But time and time again, Lucifer has denied these advances, very obviously disliking the attention and focus on his looks.

But Diavolo continues, and in his defense, you could say, ‘because Lucifer doesn’t say that he’s uncomfortable!’. It’s very obvious that Lucifer isn’t an equal to Diavolo, no matter how much the latter insists he is. We’ve seen Diavolo brush off other’s discomfort at his actions, and we’ve seen him continue.

Diavolo is not evil. This is quite clear, even though he may be suspicious to some. However, his relationship tactics and methods of relationships have toxic, and quite possibly abusive effects.

For example. The angel event.

We all know, that the bangles controlled the 7 avatars, turning them all into angels. Their outfits, and minds, were taken over. The brothers, (excluding Satan.) had gone through traumatic events in these outfits, that’s for sure.

The celestial war, and losing Lilith, all were incredibly traumatizing events forever affecting their mindsets from that day forward. The bangles attempted to brain wash them, and we can see it when Satan states that he doesn’t feel like himself, that he felt calm.

But you might think, “But being calm is great! Isn’t that what he always wantd?’. Not quite.. All Satan had known before was wrath, and being calm completely took away an important part of him. Even though Satan had always resented his wrath, his sin, he had felt like a part of himself was miserable without it. He wasn’t himself, and felt as if he were being forced to be calm, something he loathes.

In all of the brothers, we can see that they are clearly distressed, and may come out of this situation traumatized.

Lucifer is no exception. We saw how visibly upset he was, the fact that the snow-white wings on his back gave him a constant reminder of the war and Lilith, throughout the entire ordeal.

What was Diavolo doing this entire time? He was being provided entertainment, and reveled the sight before him. He enjoyed seeing the brothers in their angelic uniforms, where they had fought with tooth and nail for their sister, and who knows what else. He enjoyed the fact that the brothers were having angelic ideals forced inside their heads.

And when someone speaks up against him? He’s passive aggressive about it, until the person opposing him gives up, begs for forgiveness, or embarrasses themselves.

While criticism of any of the characters is deemed valid and peachy in this fandom. I haven’t seen any criticism of Diavolo that wasn’t met with backlash and intense hounding. Lucifer, Satan, Belphegor, have all been criticized, but has the majority really deemed those opinions as invalid? No. We can all see why those arguments are valid, and people have their own reasons.

Hell, we’ve all seen people Lucifer left and right. And you know what? They’re completely valid! Some people may have triggers/squicks in regards to his behavior, and it’s completely understandable.

But the moment someone criticized Diavolo, we see fighting and targeting. The person who speaks up gets pushed down and insulted, until they either give up, or agree. If you like Diavolo, good for you, you’re valid! If you don’t, you’re completely valid!

Now back to the ship. Apologies for getting off topic, but oftentimes, when Diavolo and Lucifer are mentioned separately, they’re roped together.

Abusive/toxic relationships aren’t always one where the abusive/toxic partner is an outright terrible person. Oftentimes, they come with charm, a dazzling smile, and friends that would fight tooth and nail for them.

Diavolo has Lucifer in an....uncomfortable position to say the least. In power dynamics, that is. Lucifer is constantly embarrassed publicly and privately by compliments, and Diavolo knows this. He’s demeaned by the oath, and as for work, Diavolo often adds to it, just for fun. I.e, leaving the Devildom to come to the human world, leaving his responsibilities behind.

“But he’s lonely!” Yes, and? He is lonely, yes, but there is a time and place for fun, and time and place for work. He is going to become a King, and if he puts all this responsibility and stress on Lucifer, it simply isn’t right.

They have their good moments, but that absolutely does not make up for the state of the relationship as a whole. Just because someone has their good moments, doesn’t mean you accept and forgive them. That’s like saying that someone who physically abuses their S/O, is a good partner because they occasionally make them dinner. It simply isn’t correct.

Majority of the time, Diavolo is fine with Lucifer being reduced to a pretty face and belittled. In public, which very clearly hurts Lucifer’s pride and reputation.

Many people can resonate with some of these behaviors, having seen them in their past.

So please. Tag your works as DiaLuci for others uncomfortable with it, stop attacking others who dislike the ship, and for fucks sake, enough with hating people who dislike a character and/or ship.

#obey me #obey me diavolo #obey me lucifer #obey me ship #obey me dialuci #dialuci #obey me ship discussion

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tenkoscumslut · 3 years

Text

Hawks x reader (angst)

(credit to _yorixxxx on tiktok they inspired this)

Your mind was in its own universe, walking through a rich meadow, the smell of blue gold filling up your senses, it was almost time to go home, almost. You almost leapt out of your chair when the clock hit 5, you little fantasy vanished, forgotten, like you.

You couldn’t help but smile as you walked home, it was months after the incident, months. Kiego had promised to never do it again, promised and promised and promised, but all of them were lies, though you were to blind to see it. The familiar streets were your comfort area, you loved your life, you loved your boyfriend, his affection, your apartment, your job, everything.

As you flirted with the keys, trying to find the right one, you managed to find it. It opened up his apartment, tonight was date night, he always did the sweetest things, he would take you out on late night flights, kiss your forehead and apologize for that one night. His words were meaningless, but they filled you with happiness.

Before you were drowning, you head was submerged underwater and you could swim to the surface. You were exhausted, even though it was right there, it was so close, it was in your grasp, you could never reach it. Thats when Hawks came, he made you go head over heels for him, he was your savior, he was the one who saved you. He picked you up, letting you take deep breaths of the fresh air, and you loved it. You were addicted to it.

So when you opened the door, and saw another pair of shoes, you didn’t mind, you didn’t even think about any bad outcomes of this. You quietly closed the door and set your shoes next to his, assuming he had a coworker over. You walked up the steps into the living room, and there was Hawks with his “coworker”.

You couldn’t move, they were to loud to notice you, her loud moans, his grunts of pleasure, you could barely believe what you saw. No, Hawks would never cheat on you, you knew Hawks, or did you. You knew the hero, the man who saved others, the man who never broke someones heart. But did you really know Kiego, did you know how he broke hearts, how he was a lying cheating bastard who was so toxic he couldn’t recognize your feelings.

“Hawks?”, you whimpered softly, not even knowing how to react to the lewd scene in front of you. They both stopped, the girl, panting, a huge blush on her face turned to Hawks, “Hawks, who’s this?”, she asked trying to catch her breath. Kiego stuttered, “J-just an old friend babe, Y/N, can you leave?’, he asked with...what was it? Irritation? Annoyance? Anger?.

“Old friend?”, you repeated, “Were dating Hawks!”, you exclaimed, tears beginning to form, the girl clambered off of him, quickly putting on her clothes, “What the fuck do they mean Kiego?! You said you weren’t with anyone!”, she shouted. “Y/N is lying, I don’t know them!”, he shouted, pulling up his boxers.

“You know what?! Get out! Both of you!”, you shouted over them, Kiego looked at you, shock in his eyes, the girl walked past you, she looked just as broken as you, “I’m sorry”, she whispered and quickly left the scene. You stared at the ground, your fists were placed at your sides, Kiego walked up to you. That voice, it made you fill up with joy, but know it felt so wrong to hear him. “Babybird, listen to me, she didn’t mean anything”, he said. Empty. His words were fucking empty.

You wanted to screech, kill him, you wanted to wreck him, make him feel what you were going through. “I already said get out Kiego” you managed to say, not bothering to speak in hopes of your voice not cracking up. You looked up at him, those eyes, so beautiful, so ethereal. You always thought he would only look at you like that, with so much love and passion, but behind it was emptiness. He fucking used you.

To him you were a doll to be played with, a fucking sex toy. You gritted your teeth when he didn’t move, instead tried to embrasse you in a hug, “Get the fuck off of me!”, you shouted, the tears finally spilling out while you kicked him, punched him, scratched him. He didn’t let go, he couldn’t, Kiego was to selfish, he wanted you, he wanted a side chick, he wanted to fuck anyone he could but he couldn’t have you leave his side.

You were his other half, his soulmate, he truly loved you, yet he continued to hurt you, over and over and over and over. It hurt him, sometimes he wouldn’t realize he was kissing someone else, he would try and imagine they were you, that it was your soft lips caressing his own. That is was your walls clamping down on him, and it was your moans every time he hit their sweet spot. Seeing you, without that smile, without that look like he was your everything made him break.

He fucking hurt you. He did that. “Get out Kiego!”, that was the last shout, he let go, knowing you couldn’t be with him anymore, his heart was strangled as he slowly walked over to the entrance, he’d let you stay at his apartment until you could leave. He would give you the space he needed. With one last look of sorrow, he left.

~~~

As the months went by, you had found a new job, away from Kiego, a knew boyfriend, a home, a new life. It was perfect, Dabi was perfect, all that time thinking Kiego had saved you, all those times you felt like he was your savior was lies. He blinded you, choked you, drugged you into thinking you were happy, but Dabi was your real savior. He opened your eyes, showed you the world, real affection and loyalty, trust, everything you could possibly imagine.

Though Dabi did have his flaws, like almost burning the kitchen down when his ramen didn’t turn out perfect, he was amazing, and truly loved you. Dabi would never go behind your back, and you would never go behind his. Ever.

As for Kiego, he was a wreck, bringing home girls almost everyday. They weren’t the same, they never were, you were truly one of a kind. He was sobbing, he was forgetting your touch, your lips, you voice, it was all fading away. He was desperately trying to salvage what was left of you, he had pictures of you in his bedroom, he cooked your favorite foods, he only dated people who looked like you but it was never enough.

Every night, their moans never riled him up, their lips wrapped around him never was the same, they never tasted as good as you, their kissed weren’t as sweet or filled with love. Their eyes never held the same fire as yours, never the same passion. Your sweet smell was slowly fading away to, one of the only things he had left.

he had even bought the same perfume you would wear just to scent things and try to keep it in pristine condition. As for the girl he was dating behind your back, seeing her walk into his office everyday made him gag, she couldn’t even compete against you.

After months of not being able to hear your voice, enough was enough, he opened up your contact, there were tons of messages from you, left on read from when he was cheating on you and he didn’t bother to reply. His fingers manuevered over the keyboard.

He didn’t know how to start this off, would he say sorry? Hi? How are you?, he then just settled on Hey, nothing really complex or to formal. His heart was beating faster than ever, he set himself down at his counter, his wings flapping lightly at the prospect of you replying.

You were making dinner, just some rice and fish since you didn’t feel like making something to extravagant. Your phone dinged next to Dabi who was watching a show, he lifted up your phone, narrowing his eyes at the unknown number.

He stood up and walked over to you, unlocking your phone to look at the message, “Hey, doll, who’s this?”, he asked, staring at the conversation before you found out Hawks was a cheating bastard. You had deleted his contact, thinking you also blocked him. You grabbed your phone and looked at the message, trying to remember who it was. “i do-”, you cut yourself off when you saw the previous text messages.

“It’s my ex, you don’t need to worry about him”, you said, turning your phone off and kissing Dabi softly. He hummed happily, his hands snacking around your waist and massaging your inner thighs. You turned off the stove and fully turned around to kiss him, things quickly escalated, your bra was off and your panties were thrown somewhere.

Dabi was on his knees, your legs on his shoulders while he devoured you, you tugged at the roots of his hair, whining and moaning for him, crying out with he hit the perfect place. Your orgasm was quickly building up, and then your phone rang. Dabi pulled away from your lower lips, a scowl on his face while he glared at your phone for ruining the mood.

You picked it up, scowling when you saw it was Hawks, you did not want to talk to him, “Who is it?”, Dabi asked, tracing circles into your thighs, “my ex”, you grumbled, your thumb was about to press decline but Dabi stopped you, “Answer it babe”, he said, you whined softly, “Why?”. He smirked, “Do it baby, for daddy~”, he said, you pouted and answered the phone and brought it up to your ear.

Hawks wings were flapping widley when you picked up, his heart was racing, he wanted so savor your voice, memorise it, imprint it in his brain so when he manages to win you back its like you never broke up. Like he never cheated. Like he really was your savior.

Dabi leaned back down, and started to kiss your lower lips, his tongue traveling over your clit. You held back a moan and managed to greet your ex, “Hello Kiego”, you said, you were greeted with a happy Hello. Hearing his voice made sadness seep into your heart, but you were through with him, you were done, you had Dabi.

“Why are you calling me”, you asked, your hand slithering down to pull at Dabis hair, you knew being this close to your orgasm, plus the thrill of being on the phone with Hawks was only going to end in something bad. Dabis skilled tongue pushed into your sopping wet hole. Your hand quickly covered your mouth, staffing another moan.

“I-I guess I just missed you...”, Hawks mumbled from the other end, “I was a fucking dick to you, I cheated on you twice and thats not right”. Your orgasm was quickly building up again, Dabi removed his tongue and easily pushed in 2 digits, his mouth started working on your clit. Your thighs clamped down on his head, trying to make this oh so more pleasurable.

“I was wondering you know...if we could start talking again?”, he asked, Dabi then hit the special spot he knew by memory, you couldn’t help but moan loudly. A huge blush adorned to your face, “U-Um a-are you busy right now? C-cuz I can t-talk later?”, he suggested. “N-no, I want to finish this conversation”, you mumbled, “I just ran into the corner of my dresser”, you lied. Dabi was pinching at your thigh, you knew he didn’t want you to hang up.

Hawks was leaning back into the chair, a generous amount of lube coated his hand, he gripped at the base of his dick, squeezing softly, trying to replicate your walls. He bit his lip, god just you alone had him painfully hard, and the moan that came out of the other end of the phone was the cherry on top. His thumb ran over his sensitive head, over his sensitive slit, and rubbed back and forth. At this rate Hawks could cum any second.

“Could we maybe meet up at the building I use to fly us to?”, he asked. You bit your lip, another moan rising up, your release was so fucking close, you could feel it. Your hand gripped at his wrist, not wanting him to pull away and take your sweet release with it. “S-sure”, you were in a daze, Dabis wrist snapped forward, roughly hitting your sweet spot. Your eyes rolled back, your body spasming and your walls fluttering around his digits. Your sweet juices leaked out of your spasming hole. Dabi removed his fingers and quickly started to lap at the juices.

You thought you hung up, your thumb missed and instead you put him on speaker, you started to moan and cry out, it was turning into to much, “Y/N..?”, you heard hawks through the speaker. “FUCK!”, you shouted, quickly hanging up before you could reply. Dabi was laughing, and your face was flared with embarrassment. He got up from his kneeling position and helped you off the counter.

Your knees were wobbly underneath you, Dabi carried you to the bed and finished what he started.

The mess on Hawks chest, there were no words to describe it. He had cummed harder than he has ever cummed before, the thick white liquid shot out in thick salty white ropes. His post orgasm soon kicked in, a hollow feeling burned in his chest. He wished it was you instead of them, he wished he payed attention to you.

He wished he brought you around to parties since he knew how much you loved to dance, he wished he brought you flowers, and held your hand, he should’ve given you all his hours when he had the chance. But know your dancing, but your dancing with another man.

And although it hurts, he’d be the first to say he was wrong, but he hoes he buys you flowers, and holds your hand, take you to every party because he remembers how much you love to dance.

#angst #mha hawks #hawks smut #pro hero hawks #hawk #bnha hawks #hawks headcanons #hawks #wing hero hawks #dabi #dabi headcanons #dabi x y/n #bnha dabi #dabi x reader #dabi fluff #dabi smut #kiego x reader #kiego takami #kiego

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mc-critical · 3 years

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So I was rewatching some of MYK Season 2 and it had me thinking..do you notice the insane amount of parallels and overall similarities in character arcs between MYK’s Beyazied (Gulbahar’s son) and MY’s Mustafa (Mahi’s son?). Both had a sense of undying loyalty and love/respect to the respective sultans of their time while also meeting their demise at the sultan’s hands, both maintaining positive relationships with their half-siblings despite opposition from their enviornments, both being the only children of mothers who weren’t favorites but were extremely politically ambitious and skilled. Both being princes popular with the janissaries of their time and were seen as a looming threat towards the sultan’s power. I even feel like like Beyazied and Mustafa were similar in their disposition and sense of justice and morality. Tell me am I wrong here because I really can’t unsee it they feel so similar to me😭

Yes, MCK Bayezid and MC Mustafa share the same character archetype (hence why they have the parallels you mentioned), but that's the only thing they're similar in for me. The archetype is only a baseline for both of their characters - their development goes in a very different direction.

The thing that sets them apart the most from the start, is that Mustafa's strenghts and flaws are shaped more by sheer personality, while Bayezid is a character shaped more by curcumstance. That leaves room for more development for Bayezid where he eventually changes his stance on people around him, while despite of every hint of change, intrigue or word of advice, Mustafa's principles and beliefs stay the same.

Both Mustafa and Bayezid have a missing part of their lives that shapes their flaws, but that part is different in both of them. No matter how much support Bayezid seemingly had, he always missed his mother and wanted to see her face he's long forgotten, he wanted to see her all the more with each and every letter of hers. And once that chance presents itself, thanks to Murat, no less (good job, lad, good job, indeed....), he would surely want to see his back from exile mother in a good light, despite of all the wrongs she has done. That's why Gülbahar was Bayezid's blind spot. His love and respect for his mother goes beyond comforting her, defending her, hiding her mistakes and saving her from death, something that Mustafa would be also likely to do - with each event passing, Bayezid also begins to listen to her more and more, becomes convinced of her words that he's born in a middle of a war and sets himself even further against Murat and Kösem. Mustafa, on the other hand, has always been next to Mahidevran in every step of the way, with everyone around him avoiding their separation at all costs, hence he can be much more independent of her perspective. She can only go so far with opposing Mustafa's decisions, he always ends up choosing to do what he sees as right and just, even when his beliefs are challanged. He doesn't let his beliefs to be challanged by anyone. He doesn't want to let his beliefs to be challanged by anyone. He loves his mother deeply and he's also developed a need to protect her at all costs, but that need is based on his awareness of all she has experienced and to prevent her to suffer or worry ever again, not out of missing her whole self, which makes it a need outside of Mustafa's own predicament and decisions.

Mustafa wanting to keep his principles firm originates from his wish to prove himself to his father. Süleiman is Mustafa's blind spot. We see how much he wants to be next to him and have his attention even when he was little and since Mustafa was given a sense of purpose ever since then, too (while Bayezid has been living a life where he didn't yet see the dangers of the world in their fullest extent before Murat's complete downfall and before Gülbahar; he even mentioned to her that he didn't want the throne, even though he was constantly suspected of betraying Murat.), sure he would want to prove himself worthy and follow what SS (and Ibro and Mahi to an extent, too, but especially SS) has taught him when it came to ruling. (like when he chose justice instead of SS's order in E92, which, even though he disobeyed, wouldn't be right or just, since that person was slandered. Musti revealed that he acted like what SS has told him in the past, it being justice is most important.) Even when his father acted against him, Mustafa trusted him blindly, refusing to believe that a father could ever kill his son, even in close probability, no matter what everyone else around him said. (he wrote the letter when Cihangir told him of SS's words in E123, but Musti went to SS anyway, his trust being much stronger than his biggest inkling of suspicion.) He loved him too much, even when he slowly came to realize the growing wedge between them, never succumbing to the temptation to directly rebel against him. (except the kaftan situation, where his trust was directly put into question by a supposed action of his and even then Musti went to merely confront him and die as a warrior if it lead up to this, not kill him, and the trust became stronger than ever afterwards.) Bayezid, on the other hand, always sensed the danger Murat posed in some way, and he realized that no matter how much he proved his loyalty at first and refused drastic action at first, he would always keep suspecting him. Bayezid was allowed to see Murat in his biggest cruelty, at one point, Bayezid didn't see him as fit to rule anymore and was more than ready to dethrone him after an act too cruel by him in Bayezid's eyes. Even when he respected Murat, Bayezid didn't seem to want to prove his worth as much to him or to have gained his principles and beliefs by him and the bond between them wasn't as close, not for Bayezid. The cruelty of the world and Murat's own cruelty grew more and more, hence Bayezid became more open to criticize them and more ruthless, as a result of this. He strived to evade his wrath more than anything. And at one time, there was no turning back now between Murat and Bayezid, which also played a part in his execution.

The way Mustafa views Hürrem and the way Bayezid views Kösem are both very different, too. While I don't feel Mustafa completely hated Hürrem, per say and even in S04, he was rather done with her bullcrap than anything else, he had some resentment for her. He was aware that she played a part in Mahidevran's suffering and sensed that Hürrem giving birth hurts his mother. Still, he knew where the line was: he respected her position as a Sultana and the mother of his brothers, didn't blame her instinctively, didn't fault Cihangir for choosing his own mother in the kaftan sutuation and was willing to listen even in the peak of his resentment. (in E121, where he didn't believe that she wasn't behind the trap.) Bayezid had a more familial bond with Kösem, since she was like a mother to him when his real mother was missing. I feel he appreciated all the care she took for him and even loved her until a point. But once he turned against her, the mutual respect between them was gone completely, with him eventually discarding all she did for him and Kösem disowning him. His resentment for Kösem slowly grew through Gülbahar: the seeds were planted with the letters she was sending to him, which made Bayezid feel he didn't belong, opening a hole in his heart, and then Bayezid being open to listen to Gülbahar more and more with her setting him against both Murat and Kösem. Bayezid tied Kösem to Murat, while in truth, she acted outside of him. Bayezid eventually became convinced that Kösem was a danger. But while circumstances also helped, him standing "on the other side of the war" was bound to break them apart. Bayezid and Kösem already had different goals. The more he sided with Gülbahar's view, the more that cemented their rift. He fully stood against her once she confronted him about him hiding Gülbahar, that made him give up on her to the point he agreed to have her killed in the Eski Saray, since then it would be easier to take down Murat. Despite of Mahidevran's view and experiences, Mustafa's resentment of Hürrem grew because of her own actions: all her attempts to kill him are what made him embittered towards her to the point of him declaring that he won't have mercy on her and Rüstem. He views her actions separately from those of Süleiman- he's aware that she's trying to eliminate him with all her might and that she could maybe involve Süleiman in that, too, but still strives to see a bigger picture. All that is why his actions against her are more defensive than they're offensive and only go so far as to show her her place in some way, not to directly try to kill her, since he regards the feelings of his siblings, too. He sees her and Rüstem as a tandem in S04, but even then he would do actions more against Rüstem than against Hürrem.

I would say that Mustafa has a better relationship with his brothers than Bayezid. He truly loves them a lot and always considers what they have to say, no matter what, but his brothers themselves, even Selim, loved him, too, and never got in conflict with him, expect for the aftermath of him saving Selim from the janissaries, some side scenes with Mehmet when they made amends almost immediately or that one case where they both were little. And he indeed never stops caring about them. I wouldn't say the same for Bayezid, however. While he did share the same affection Mustafa had for his brothers at first, Kasim always had a strained relationship with him and it kept getting more and more strained by each day (even Ibrahim resented him at one point, too). And yes, truly, Bayezid did try to reach out for him many times, Kasim seeing Bayezid and Gülbahar's secret firsthand and the whole Kalika situation sealed things between them to the point of no return. He set himself against Kasim completely, turning out that Gülbahar succeeded to drive the wedge between them. (of course, Mahidevran also had this similar intent, but what I found interesting with her is that, E55 aside, she mostly tried to make Mustafa look at them merely as rivals and in E69 she did tell him that his love for them made her proud regardless; I'm preparing a whole post about comparing Gülbahar and Mahidevran I hope I'll finish some day ahahah) By deciding to take what's rightfully his, Bayezid disregarded his brothers, too. (I understand why he did, but still.) His perspective on them changed just like everything else.

I agree that both Mustafa and Bayezid have a sense of justice, but while Mustafa's justice is based more on morals, principles, nobility, familial bonds and "doing the right thing" in general, Bayezid's justice becomes more "warped". Bayezid sees many injustices done to him or his mother and no matter how much he held back from acting the way his supporters wanted him to, he comes to respond to the injustice with injustice, as well. Or worse yet, he already views the injustice as justice. He perceives leaving his previous, "purer" principles behind as what is right and since he's in a war, he's already ready to do "whatever it takes" to ascend the throne. It's like he restrained himself for too long while reality around him ensued. Mustafa was always aware of this reality, even if deep down inside, even when he was trying to deny it when it came to SS, yet he chose not to leave "his own self" behind. Despite of all the intrigues against him, he responded to the injustice with justice. He held onto this until the end. He held onto this in spite of every opposition or injustice. And yes, both of these approaches were to Mustafa and Bayezid's detriments, respectively, in their distinct circumstances.

Sure, both of Mustafa and Bayezid did "the right thing" prior to their executions (going to SS - choosing not to go to the persian şah as a way out). It was expected for Mustafa, due to his established character and flaws, but for Bayezid it has become the exception - I saw him as more irritated that Gülbahar and Sinan worked behind his back when he told them not to a while ago, but maybe when he didn't succeed to do what he attempted to get on the throne, he decided that he'd rather die, but not run. And his mother's safety was still his first priority, even in death. Even then he didn't exactly realize his mistake, rather that he would be executed for it, since he still acted high and mighty in front of Kösem. Mustafa wasn't really aware of why SS called him in the first place, he wasn't aware of the intrigue with the letter, he didn't know what went wrong, hence he didn't have a true reason to doubt all that, despite of the words of everyone else, so of course he approached the situation like he typically would. It was only Cihangir's words to him where the doubt appeared and he still didn't back down on his decision. Bayezid took a more immediate decision based on curcumstance (with one scene with him ruminating in his chambers), while Mustafa took the decision he usually would. They were both executed by their fathers, but due to different reasons and even before the executions and with their once same foundation as characters, both of them acted differently here.

Though no matter how different they turn out to be in hindsight for me, I still consider MCK Bayezid as a response to MC Mustafa anyway - what MC Mustafa would've been if he let curcumstance influence him and decided to act against his father. (I also did mention in your previous ask about Mustafa that the fandom does tend to view him as MCK Bayezid's exact copy sometimes, but that isn't quite true.) When the crippling realization that your parent could disregard you comes through and you decide not to stand by that and let your survival instinct kick in, after all. Anyhow, I find both of them very interesting to compare and contrast and I love both of their characters, so thanks for giving me the chance to delve into this topic at last. ^^

#magnificent century #muhteşem yüzyıl #muhtesem yuzyil #magnificent century: kösem #magnificent century kösem #magnificent century kosem #sehzade mustafa #sehzade bayezid #ask #stuffandthangs

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sweetobseesion · 3 years

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About Wang So’s Villainy

*I DO NOT HATE WANG SO, NOR IS THIS A POST CRITICISING HIM. IT IS BASED ON MY OPINION , AND IT AIMS TO POINT OUT AND EXPLORE HIS “VILLAINOUS SIDE” THAT SHAPES HIM THROUGHOUT THE DRAMA.

I just wanted to point this out because I’ve noticed people have two reactions to it. Either there’s people denying it or people heavily emphasising on it.I would like to clarify,that Wang So is very much a character that is caught in crossroads, stuck between both his selfless heroic nature and his ,beastly savage side.

The show never denied his villainy, not even for a moment.He was always dangerous,scary and he himself, usually acknowledges his crimes and extreme personality.

The only difference is , he had the scope to be a better person. He realises he is in the wrong and understands the consequences of his actions. But even then , he never changes. Murder is always a full forged solution in his book.

But what made his personality more flawed was his anger, pride and this ability to listen to only himself. It’s what made him into a powerful king too, but it’s also what affected his relationship with Soo towards the end.

It’s hard to discern whether his impulsive , suspicious nature is the result of his environment and circumstances that he grew up in or just his personality. His Nature. But Wang So has always been pragmatic, opportunist and suspicious of those around him.

When we see him enter the palace, he kills of a horse. When Jimong offers him the opportunity to protect the crown prince , he questions his intentions. And he never opens up to anyone and is always on guard, full of excuses and masks. Which is why when Yeonhwa suggests he learns with the princes, he says he prefers being alone with his hunts. We all know he wants to live in Songak,but he says this because he doesn’t want her to know his intentions. And even Yeonhwa,can see through it.

He isolates himself from people.And it’s this exact combination of stubbornness, impulsivity and constant suspicion that makes it so easy for him kill anyone quickly and justify it. And since he isolated himself, there’s no one to stop him or make him think on it.And hence, he grows up, used to his extreme actions and not reflecting on it. Though he has his moments of regret, it’s not something he dwells on a lot.And he will never admit to it too,because he has pride.

All this makes it all the more easy for him to justify his actions.

It makes him either invincible or impossible and stubborn. Quite possibly both, but that doesn’t mean he is not bound to face the consequences of his actions. He is human after all, and if he chooses reckless actions one after the other and defend it, he’s bound to face the consequences. It doesn’t matter if he has a good reason or not. General Park points that out to him , clearly.

But he doesn’t think it through , and just ponders it for a while. But this moment, pretty much sets the stage for his inevitable end. All throughout his life he has to kill to survive, but the more he kills, the more enemies he creates and the more he has to cover up his path. And hence , the lonelier he becomes.

Meanwhile his relationship with Soo blossoms,and he finds it hard to explain his feelings for her.She shows him empathy and never judges him in his worst state,and tries to understand him. She treats him with kindness and like any other human being. He finds it easy and comfortable to talk to her and be around her.He opens up to her easily and listens to her easily. He also thinks about her and willingly incorporates what she says into his thoughts and actions. In other words , he has a crush on he doesn’t realise it. It’s quite hard for him to understand his own feelings, given how lonely he grew up.

And when he does,he is confused yet thrilled. But he still doesn’t possess complete understanding of his emotions, and he is not completely comfortable with having a person who sees right through him. Like when she sees right through his insecurity of his scar.And he punishes her for that by silence , and reprimanding her when she makes his favourite tea.

He ignores her, and it’s not until she reaches out to him after the rain festival does he put his defences down. But then, this was only achieved through her own efforts.In order to help him,she creates a foundation that conceals his scar,and she helps him succeed in the rain ritual.

He pretty much sets his heart to her after that and chases her and focuses on getting her for himself.He never listens to her rejection or her refusal and is quite insistent with his ways.He seeks her out and is quite determined to have her and he uses all means possible to have her by his side. Like he asks the King for her, then he takes her out of the palace ,drinks poison to protect her and stands by her side.

But little does he realise that this puts her in danger more than anything else. Because the more he chases her the more jealous Wook gets, the more worried his father becomes and the worse her reputation becomes ,because everyone calls her “bad luck” and blames her for how he turned out. But thing is , he does not realise it. He never sees the damage he’s unintentionally caused to her because in his mind he’s doing the right thing, choosing the right thing. He won’t listen to anyone who disagrees and he defies anyone who tries to stop him and that includes the king. In his mind, he already sees himself as the Knight in shining armour, who fights for the woman he loves.

And as his feelings grow, he also finds himself getting easily jealous. He has this habit of just assuming things and sticking by it, and it makes it hard for him to communicate.When he has to marry someone and is aware that is a deal breaker to her, he never reveals to her the reason behind it. Fans say this better than making up a excuse but I don’t see how this is better as it just leaves her alone without an explanation.All because he assumes she would hate him anyway.At the end of the day an explanation is better than an assumption or an excuse. He gets jealous when Baek Ah gets her the best present. His emotions have now become completely besotted with her,and is eager for real romance .So it’s not much of surprise to see his reaction after he discovers Jung hid in her room,it’s clear that he’s suspicious and doesn’t trust her easily.But this time , he goes to her asks her. He communicates and clears his doubts and reaches a deal. And it’s all sweetness for once.

Soon, their loyalties are tested, and they both hesitate to sort it out on their own. Wang So tries to sort it out all by himself and Hae Soo is hiding the people he’s searching for, eventually confesses to her , she holds back since she has too many warnings and supernatural visions that hold her back, but she does trust him . But it’s too late,and he ends up killing a brother and that haunts him. But that’s what pushes him to realise his place and finally steer him towards his path of being king.But for that when he’s asked to sacrifice Soo, he understands and breaks up with her in the cruelest way possible,by blaming her for his brother’s death.

The thing is, while saying those cruel words, he is also venting his anger out to her. When he returns he is still cold to her , but she still chases after him.She is burdened with guilt,and he cannot deny his feelings. Soon this leads to reincoincillation But thing is, Soo know he left her for the throne, but listens to his other reason anyway.She is beyond the point of no return, desperate to be with him. Hence gets what he wants, the throne and the girl.And they’re happy , for a while.

Until the issue of their marriage comes up,and everyone around Soo reminds her that she cannot marry him and be queen.The whole court urges So to marry Yeonhwa and he holds back, stubborn and he refuses to listen to them.Again Hae Soo ,has to give her approval and seem weak or the bad person.She is willingly talking the burn out for their relationship, both publicly and personally. Meanwhile , So grows more powerful.And he doesn’t back down this time.

He gets more stubborn and set in his ways,and refuses to listen to anyone else, especially now that his word is practically the law.He distances himself from Soo because he’s failed to live up to his promises of marrying her and starts channeling his anger to the Court and Jung .So he doesn’t hold back and starts unleashing his power and vengeance , beginning with Jung when he opposes him, and forbidding him to see his mother.When his mother protests , he forbades him to see her , which causes the queen to go on a hunger protest, asking to see her Jung.

We see Soo try to stop it , yes out of concern for Jung. But only because it’s in her character and she foresees the disastrous consequences, that it could possibly haunt him in the end and it did, in a way he never saw coming. When she sends for him ,he doesn’t reprimand or argue with her,he directly threatens her with punishment , proving he’s finally become the King he’s destined to be. Everything that was Wang So has already submerged into his conscience and only Gwangjong remains.

How could anyone expect her to understand him, when the man who loves her and risked his life for her is now threatening her with punishment, while instilling fear in her ?He’s being a King more than anything else. Jung arrives late and the queen dies.He later berates her for not taking his side, and walks away before she has the chance to apologise or provide comfort. He’s broken yes, but he is also unwilling to listen.Then, he proceeds to kill Chaeryung without an explanation, probably expecting her understanding in that matter too. People still blame Hae Soo , like they do for everything. But it was too much of a shock for her, just watching as she is beaten to death,without any anticipation or explanation.So explains his reason, but it’s too late, the graphic images of what she saw still reel in her head and no excuses can properly apply, because he really did kill her without warning. The reality of the palace becomes clear to Soo, and she makes up her mind.

Meanwhile, Wang So is furious and he blames Wook for all this,and when he goes to his room.He finds Yeonhwa , sitting there trying to trick him into consummating the marriage,but he sees through it.He makes a deal with her to get his revenge against Wook and it involves making the same promise he made to Soo.

So executes his plan to stand up to Wook, but he’s shocked to see Soo stand up to him. He states that he doesn’t like it but he listens to her this time, only because she doesn’t give him the opportunity to walk away by kneeling and she comes up with a good reason.

People point out and sometimes even write lengthy metas defending his actions, romanticising it and citing it as the greatest example of love to ever exist. But they fail to understand why this is considered problematic.It’s problematic because it’s so twisted and it’s bound to have consequences. He’s out here framing his brother, using consummation with his sister as colleteral, and is deriving pleasure out of momentary revange using his position of authority.As if that’s not that’s not bound to have consequences.

As viewers, we have an idea of how conniving Wook is. But the idea Goryeo’s society has of Wook is he is a wise scholar an benevolent individual, a brother in law of the king who would be gracious enough to marry off his sister to him. He has the ministers in his fingertips, and if the King were to kill him over a bird, it would just prove what they and history have been thinking : That he’s a tyrant and a wolf dog who’s only good at killing people. He’s early into his reign and it would certainly build up a reputation that would not get him respect from the ministers.On top of that this was a guy that blamed himself for killing his brother for years.

And that’s exactly why Soo stops him. Sure she doesn’t want Wook to die, but also doesn’t want So to be remembered only as a bloody king. But this riles up his suspicion and Jealousy and increases his paranoia more than anything else.Next we have Jung , who finally has a chance to use his decree. He goes to Soo, who basically says what she’s been saying all along. That she wants to leave and there’s no hope for their relationship.She’s honest with him and even confesses her hate.He again doesn’t listen to her and walks away, vowing he’ll never let her go.

And it finally allows Yeonhwa to execute her plans meticulously and for Wook to have his revenge. Wook confesses his past relationship with Soo, and it literally turns his brain upside down.He cannot believe the woman he loves used to love his enemy and she still sticks up for him. And it’s all it takes for his paranoia to sweep in and convince himself that she has never loved him and it was all Wook. He says he’ll never see her again and agrees to let her out of the palace.

I guess his actions after this split truly exhibit the many layers of his characters: his insecurity, his hypocrisy, pride ,vulnerability and jealousy. Insecurity in his feelings for Soo, that she loves someone more than him. That she never loved him and has abandoned him.Jealousy in the fact that she loved and married someone else.I guess these overwhelming emotions make him really vulnerable, and that’s what makes him cry, and still keeps tabs on her, because despite all the anger and hatred , he cannot forget her.

Besides, we cannot discuss his aspects of villainy without discussing his childhood, which is really the cusp of where it all begin. Personally, I think he only survived because he’s Wang So. He Fought back.He never let anyone disrespect him,and he found his own way to derive respect. I think he deliberately improved on his skills, from combat to education, he improved because he wanted to prove to everyone that’s he much more than what they think. He doesn’t care for people. He only cares for his people. He’s only selfless towards those he cares about.

And that’s where his final and most darkest qualities surface: his pride and hypocrisy.All of his actions, from the beginning to the end, have been influenced by his “pride”. There’s no denying that it’s a big part of his character and the writer made it clear from the get go. We cannot say if it’s because of his traumatic childhood, and how he was treated as a hostage or it really is a underlining element of his personality, but Wang So is all about proving thing this to people. Proving that he is someone who’s much better what they think and getting back at them for putting him through what they did. It’s Soo that makes him see that power can be something more . That it can be used to do something more and help people. It’s she who makes him selfless.

But with that pride and pent up anger, he has this side of him that’s bit of an hypocrite. Why else do you think he’s able to continuously make excuses for all his actions, from the beginning? I’m not sure if it’s because he’s him or hypocrisy is a dominant gene that gets passed on to every member of the Goryeo Royal family and runs fresh in their veins , but just like all of them, he’s an hypocrite. He only sees his side of things.

He blames Soo for leaving him , but he left her as well. Two years prior, and even now. He accuses her of not trusting him and not understanding him , but as we can see , he’s the one with trust issues and he’s the one who misunderstood her feelings. He spies on her and assumes she never loved him , and really, this time he cannot blame anyone else but himself for his actions. It’s because of these actions that they have such a painful separation. He’s so involved with himself at this point , that besides seeing only his side of things, he views himself someone who’s wronged, but he never sees how much he’s actions hurt and affect the ones he’s loved .

There’s no denying that that throne makes him very vulnerable that his insecurities and guard go up times higher , making him isolate people even more. But it’s what makes him such a hypocrite , because he can only see his side of things and excuse anything he does. Especially now that he’s a king , he believes his judgement is better than everyone. Besides, anyone in a position of power, have to be a bit of an hypocrite to begin with. The trick is to not let it completely consume you. But it does and it isolates him, and its what causes him to shut himself from everyone.

In retrospect, I still vehemently hold on to my view that it was best for Hae Soo to leave the palace.With his tunnel vision, once again he never sees the danger he puts Soo in. He tells Soo that she would be his only Queen, but he says the same thing to Yeonhwa to make her give up on her brother. But he doesn’t see that she expects to have him all to herself and be his “only queen”. So when he plans on making Soo his “second queen” and she has a child on the way, how did he think Yeonhwa will react? With open acceptance and genuine Joy? He’s so blind to her problems and caught up in his struggle, it does not even occur to him how there’s no hope for her in the palace.

All of this problems arise because of all the reasons that I’ve discused in detail. I’m not denying Hae Soo has a part in it, but this is a post focusing on Wang So’s flaws. It’s because he’s possessive, stubborn, arrogant and ignorant that he reaches the conclusion that she never loved him, believes the words of a random spy and spies on her and sees what he wants to see.

There is this thing where people always compare his love to Jung’s and argue that Jung loved better, because he didn't expect anything in return.I would like to remind them that there was a time and Soo didn’t reciprocate Wang so’s feelings and he was ready to sacrifice everything for her. He would drink poison for her. But it all changed when she started loving him back. It’s hard predict how Jung would’ve been if she reciprocated his feelings, but I’m sure he wouldn't’ t have been the same. But where his love triumphs over So is in the respect he had for her as a person. Jung respected Soo. He respected her choices, her likes and her personality. Whereas,So only agreed with aspects of her personality and disagreed with the rest. He never respected or understood her as a whole. There was no acceptance of her as whole. His love is great but it’s also very suffocating, because there’s no space for her as a whole , flawed person. In his love there’s only space for the Soo he wants her to be: kind, understanding, fun, naive,loyal, and smart. But the stubborn, arrogant, independent, impulsive Soo that can argue back and make her own decisions ? Let’s just say there’s a reason her never listens to her in the first place.

Which is why when the news of her death reaches him and he reads the letters, The consequences of his actions finally hit and the reality is so cruel he cannot handle it. Which is why he is in so much denial,that he is rushing in the hopes of seeing her one last time. But this time, he’s simply too late.

And this was partly a consequence of his own actions, but it finally hits him: He’s all alone now.He finally understands Hae Soo and longs for her.

The thing is, it wouldn’t have ended up all like this if he had listened to her or apologised. But like mentioned above, all his insecure,dark qualities come together, and bring out his worst self.

But ironically, that’s exactly what Goryeo needed at the time.They needed a king who’s stubborn, not easily influenced and full of pride that will withstand till the end.A king who is powerful enough to push his law through, despite opposition from noble families. And now, he has more than enough reasons to influence him and push him through those decisions. From his horrible childhood to Soo, everything stood as a reason for shaping him into who he is set to become: The powerful 4th King of Goryeo.

But its sadly it’s exactly those qualities destroys his relationship with Soo. As long as he is king, she will be used as his weakness.

My main point in writing this lengthy, tedious post is because to be honest, I’ve seen way to many Wang So stans in this app, who in order to support him, bash and blame other characters for his actions, and look at him through dreamy, swoon worthy glasses. They overlook his flaws and make defences for it, but the things flaws are very much a central point of his character.

He is a passionate lover and an astute King. But he is also is an experienced and skilled warrior, a possessive and jealous man who has no problem with scheming or giving out harsh punishments.He is childish, with trust and mommy issues and he has never recovered from the scars of his childhood. All of which eventually shapes the man he becomes.

Though it’s romantic that he states he will find her wherever she is, even if he does, it won’t bring him the romance or closure he desires. Why? Because, he still has to face the consequences of his own actions. He has to answer why he never came to get her, why he thought she never loved him etc..

He has to learn from his mistakes and understand Soo better.He needs to learn to differentiate love, and to trust her more.He needs to handle his anger properly and not confuse and channel it towards Soo. He needs to respect and understand Soo better, and all of that takes time.And space. And lots of conversations and privacy.

It’s ironic but once again through on his own words, he’s set to prove himself all over again. For all the discussions on “fate”, it seems like he’s deciding his own “fate” now. Again, very heroic but the road to it is very difficult, and there’s no Hae Soo to bear the brunt of making difficult decisions anymore.

But the real question is, whether is the same qualities that drew them apart, will it lead him to her now?

I suppose that’s the roundabout irony we’re all rooting for in the end.

#kdrama #moon lovers #scarletheartryeo #scarlet heart fever #Moonlovers:Scarlet Heart Ryeo #scarlet heart ryeo #i love wang so though #wang so #lee joon gi #gwangjong #mlshr:characterstudy #mlshr #Mlshr: analysis #kdramacommentry #sayitwithme:wangsoisaflawedinduvidual

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taetaespeaches · 4 years

Text

“Who says I don’t still get a rush from you?”

hoseok x reader (or oc) genre: fluff word count: 2.2K

a/n: Hobi time!!!!! This takes place the night the members all meet Joon’s new girl in “Do you mind if we dim the lights down, baby?” There’s hardly any plot, it just shows Hobi and Petal winding down at home after a night with the bangtan gang. I hope you all enjoy and thanks for reading! :))

WATCHING yourself in the mirror as you brushed your teeth, you actively ignored the man sat on the counter next to you as he observed you while you conducted your personal hygiene routine. He had already finished his routine and was rather impatiently urging you to finish yours by staring you down because, “I have something to show you.”

As Hoseok continued to shift closer to the sink, craning his neck so his head was invading your reflection in the mirror further and further, you rolled your eyes, the man letting out that same laugh you’d been in love with for over a year.

“You know,” you mumbled through your foamy mouth, Hoseok’s eyes widening at your sudden words. “Jin and Joon might be onto something.” Finally, you looked at your boyfriend to see him shooting a playful glare at you.

“I dare you to finish that thought,” he warned with a small smile toying on is lips.

“Oh you dare me?” You teased the man, watching as his smile broke through. “I’m just saying, there’s a resemblance,” you continued before spitting the toothpaste into the sink, Hoseok scoffing at your comment as he shook his head. “I didn’t say it’s a bad thing,” you defended, smiling at the man. “Brushing your teeth is also very refreshing.”

“You are not comparing mint chocolate ice cream to toothpaste right now, this is not happening,” he protested, giving you a feigned look of disappointment as he shook his head.

Earlier that night, the members and some of the girls had a debate over whether mintcho was an acceptable ice cream or not. Despite not really having an opinion on the ice cream, you happily took your boyfriend’s side, ensuring he won the debate. And then you proceeded to eat vanilla ice cream in front of everyone as they judged you for your loyalty to the man.

Smirking, you simply shrugged as you rinsed your mouth, Hoseok staring at you for a moment before quickly reaching for you, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you between the v of his legs, you giggling as you placed your hands against his chest, fighting his affections.

The man planted a series of kisses on your cheek, you groaning through a smile. “Take it back,” he muttered against your face.

“Why would I do that?” You asked as you slowly draped your arms around Hoseok’s shoulders.

“You’re so mean,” he told you affectionately, you giggling as he pulled his face from yours to look at you.

“And you’re so obnoxious,” you replied, just before pressing a quick peck to his lips. “Oh,” you suddenly spoke, your boyfriend’s eyes widening in anticipation. “Joon’s new friend,” you said simply, Hoseok letting out a knowing laugh. “How long do you think they’ll keep that act up?” You asked with a grin, Hobi chuckling as he dipped his face to your neck, kissing the spot lightly.

“I guess it can be fun to sneak around,” he whispered against your neck as his hands gripped your waist.

“Oh yeah?” You asked, running a hand through your boyfriend’s hair tenderly. “Do you wish we had snuck around?” You questioned with a quirk of your eyebrow, a playful glint appearing in Hoseok’s orbs.

“I wouldn’t change anything about how we started,” he grinned, you looking at him skeptically. “I loved you hating me,” he joked, you laughing at the comment as you gently shoved him away from you, the man dramatically falling back against the counter, supporting himself on his forearms as you took a step back from him.

“I never hated you,” you clarified through a wide grin. “I just thought you were annoying.”

“Oof, tell me more,” he joked and flirted as he stood up from the counter and reached for your hand, you playfully scoffing.

“We may not have snuck around but going from disliking you the tiniest bit,” you emphasized, Hoseok laughing giddily with his sunshine smile on display, “to not being able to resist you was pretty fun.”

“It was a lot of fun,” he agreed, shooting you a smirk. “I can say I thoroughly enjoyed it,” he added, you giggling at the flirty tone. His close-mouthed smile made his little dimples pop out, tempting you to poke your finger into one of the divots. His smile widened as he attempted to playfully bite your finger, you moving it quickly to boop his nose.

“Ok, come on, I still have something to show you,” he reminded you as he began leading you out of the bathroom. You expected him to turn into the bedroom but he walked past it, guiding you to the… front door?

“Uh, Hobi?” You questioned, the man looking back at you innocently as he opened the door. “Where are we going, Sunshine?”

“Just trust me,” he smiled, you looking at him skeptically.

“Trust you? That’s a high ask,” you teased, Hoseok chuckling as he dragged you out of your apartment, both of you standing in the hallway in your sleeping clothes, the oversized t-shirt, one of Hoseok’s extra baggy ones, that adorned your body landing so far down your thighs that you couldn’t even see your shorts.

Despite not knowing what your boyfriend was up to, you followed him easily, having complete trust in him. Trusting Hoseok was easy. It came naturally to you.

Dragging you down the flight of stairs, your slippers barely hanging onto your feet, you giggled as Hoseok smiled widely. It didn’t take long to get from your apartment to the front doors of the building, you looking at your boyfriend quizzically as he turned back, looking as excited and happy as ever.

“Are you ready?” He asked, you shrugging in question. Stepping behind you, he placed his hands over your eyes, temporarily blocking your vision as you let out a breathy laugh.

“Hobi, what are you doing?” You asked, receiving no answer as he guided you slowly out onto the front steps of the building, the cool air sending chills across your skin.

“Ready, Petal?” He whispered next to your ear, you smiling as you nodded. Removing his hands, he pointed to the sky above you, your eyes falling on the bright full moon that greeted your vision. “There’s a full moon tonight.”

A pout immediately formed on your lips as tears threatened to gather in your eyes. A couple people walked by on the sidewalk alone, looking at you both in intrigue. The duo probably wondered what was so special about a full moon. It happens once a month, what’s the big deal? But it was one of the first things you ever revealed about yourself to Hoseok.

“I love the moon,” you had told Hoseok on your first date as you both looked up at the full moon, the carnival noise surrounding you but you both feeling like you were in your own world. “I try to track it’s phases but I usually end up forgetting the day of the full moon. My fatal flaw.”

“I’ll try to remind you,” he replied hopeful.

Turns out both of you were pretty damn good at forgetting, but his intentions were pure. And whenever Hoseok was away on tour, he’d always text you to let you know there would be a full moon.

“You are the sweetest, cutest man alive, do you know that?” You cooed, Hoseok smiling as he pressed a kiss to your temple.

As you watched the moon shine above you, your boyfriend holding you in a back hug, you found yourself thinking back to the start of your relationship. Namjoon and his new friend had you feeling nostalgic in a sense.

Turning in your boyfriend’s grasp, you wrapped your arms around the back of his neck, cocking your head curiously.

“Do you ever wish you could go back to the start of us? Live it again?” You questioned, the man instantly shaking his head.

“As fun as it was, no,” he told you, the moonlight illuminating his soft smile, your heart fluttering at his expression and the sweet tone he spoke the words in.

“No? You wouldn’t want to feel that rush again?” You continued your questioning, the man again shaking his head before dipping down to place a kiss to the tip of your nose.

“Nope,” he said cheerfully. “Our start was amazing but I wouldn’t change a single thing about us and our timeline,” he assured you. “I wouldn’t even want to change your first impression of me,” he added, a smile spreading across your face. “I like where we are,” he said more seriously, his eyes scanning your features as you stared into his observant almond shape eyes.

“Yeah, me too,” you agreed, Hobi’s lips curving up into a small smile. You didn’t elaborate, not one for many words of affection, but the man knew that. And he could see the sincerity in your features.

“Also,” he started, looking at you with a playful glare. “Who says I don’t still get a rush from you?”

Smiling at him, you bit your bottom lip, watching as the man’s pretty orbs curved into crescents at the adorable smile he flashed you.

“Did I say that?” You asked, playing dumb, the man giggling at you.

“You alluded,” he corrected, you humming in response.

“Well,” you smirked. “Maybe you need to prove it to me,” you teased, the man letting out an amused sigh, his arms wrapping a little tighter around your waist as your fingers brushed through the hair at the back of his head.

“Are you not feeling the rush right now? Am I the only one feeling the rush?” He asked in pretend offense, you holding back a giggle as you simply shrugged at him. Shaking his head at you, you scrunched your nose in response.

“You’re cute,” you cooed. The compliment, however, only made Hoseok step up his cute game as he made a silly sound effect, removing an arm from you to bring a hand to his face, framing his eye with a peace sign.

Rolling your eyes, he burst into giggles as a few more people walked by, though they didn’t deter him at all. Pulling another pose, he framed one side of his face and gave you a close-eyed ‘sweet’ expression. “Ugh,” you feigned disgust, the man opening his eyes to beam at you in amusement. “Again,” you said in a monotone, the man raising his eyebrows at you, appearing to be holding out to make you beg. “Again,” you repeated with a slight whine.

Removing his hands from you briefly, Hoseok framed his face in the classic flower pose, you pulling an expression of contrived dislike.

“Oh, you like that one?” He teased.

“I hate it,” you smiled.

“How about,” he started as he pretended to reach inside the pocket of his shorts before pulling his hand back out in a finger heart, “this?” He questioned you, holding his fingers toward your face.

Giggling, you shook your head. “Put it back,” you joked, shoving his hand away from you.

“You like it,” he noted, his hands gripping your hips. Pulling a face of scrutiny, you shook your head. “No?” Shaking your head again, his smile widened. “I think you like it a little bit,” he added.

“Only a little,” you replied, Hoseok giggling as you smiled at him. “Because it’s you.”

Squeezing your hips in his hands, he smirked at you. “That’s good enough for me.”

Scrunching your nose at him once more, you leaned toward him to kiss his lips softly, the man eagerly accepting the kiss and deepening the action instantly.

Resting his hands at the bottom of your back, he slowly worked his cold hands under your baggy shirt, the touch of his icy fingers causing you to shiver against him, giggling into the kiss. “Sorry,” he mumbled through his amusement, you placing a hand to his face.

Just a little over a year was all you’d been seeing Hoseok, but with the deep understanding and acceptance you had for each other, it easy to lose sense of time. Every day felt familiar but new, exciting but comfortable. The days had blurred into one incredible experience with Hoseok, complete with mostly highs and fewer lows, and so much love that only grew stronger and more sincere as time went on.

Pulling away from each other, you slowly dragged your eyes from your boyfriend’s face and looked up at the sky to appreciate the moon once again, Hoseok’s eyes staying on you. The two of you seemed to be opposites in a lot of ways. Much like the sun he embodied and the moon whose light was shining on your features beautifully in that moment. But much like the sun and moon, when they met, the whole world stopped and admired them. Luckily though, you and Hoseok didn’t have to wait over a hundred years to collide for a mere few minutes.

Your lips slowly curved up as you thought of the man in front of you, and how thoughtful he was to surprise you with something as simple and perfect as the moon. Looking from the sky back to the man, you appreciated him and felt so thankful that you knew him. That you got to love him. That you were loved by him.

“What are you smiling about, Petal?” He whispered before pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth.

“Nothing,” you let out a breathy giggle. “I just feel the rush.”

The man smiled happily at you, rubbing his nose against yours cutely before crashing his lips against yours passionately. Lacing your fingers into the hair at the back of his head, you kissed him back with the kind of passion only Hoseok could pull from you. Because he was Hoseok.

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lisinfleur · 3 years

Text

Pity

Author’s Notes | It was almost instantly that I thought about this idea. When I saw the plot, this story just unfolded in my mind. I hope you guys like it as much as I did! Congratulations once again, my dear @youbloodymadgenius for your first K of followers! May them become a thousand more! Universe | Vikings Pairing | Ivar x Reader Info | Viking Age AU, produced for @youbloddymadgenius 1K Challenge, prompt number 50. Words | 1989 ⁑ Warnings: Some cursing, mentions to murder and violence.

It was the third or fourth ball you were participating in after becoming engaged to your fiancé - an arrangement made by your family to tighten your allegiance towards prince Oleg and somehow a reward for the many years of loyalty to his crown: you would be married to his brand new ally and the soon-to-be re-crowned king of Kattegat, the nordic Ivar, the Boneless - someone you had grown to admire and fell in love with within his short time at the Rus palace in Kyiv.

You would be crowned queen by his side - to your father's major happiness - and would grant him the children his former wife wasn't able to give to him. If you were able, of course, to surpass his infinite jealousy and the marks her treason had left in your soon-to-be husband's mind.

It was something visible that Ivar had grown interested in you at the palace and you had been able to break up his barriers approaching him with your loyalty to his cause and comprehension of his actions: your family was loyal to prince Oleg, but you were loyal to yourself and you didn't hide your support to Ivar's intentions to get rid of Oleg's strings as soon as it was possible. Your family's loyalty to the Prophet was a ladder that conducted you towards the position you wanted beside Ivar, but it was it. If you had to put a knife through Oleg's neck for Ivar you would, and your fiancé loved to hear this coming out of your mouth with all the beautiful letters he said were music to his ears.

However, you would cease to be his singing bird as soon as your laugh could be heard by anyone else other than him. Even other women were considered threats in his eyes and to be isolated wasn't something you would accept just for him to feel safe in whatever insecurity he insisted to keep about your love.

Fights were inevitable, although the two of you had grown perfectly able to hide it from anyone else around as if you were the perfect couple, born to be with each other.

Yeah... His hand was quite the size of your neck and you had tested it already once - Something you swore would be the first and only time he would ever touch you like that. Something he promised would be the first and last time he would ever lose control like that.

Bless the soundproof walls of your room...

"I CAN'T TURN AROUND A SINGLE SECOND AND THERE ARE YOU, SMILING AT EVERYONE!"

You could understand the fear his people had of him: Ivar was really frightening when he was angry - and he was angry almost all the time. But you were never scared of the monsters under your bed and the last man who looked like a monster in front of you died by your own hands when you were younger and decided your honor worthed more than the life of that bandit. Maybe it was this what attracted him in you: as he was screaming, you were looking at him, standing, firm, strong even when his servants and slaves had fled in awe.

"So what? If I hear funny jokes, I'll laugh, Ivar. That's natural to any human being!" you answered, almost acid.

"Oh, then Hvitserk is the only one to tell funny jokes around, my dear?" he answered, finally putting out the jealousy behind all that angry rampant. "Cause you laugh whenever you're close to him! You're all smiles to Hvitserk! Are you growing fond of him too, my dearest bride?"

You rolled your eyes, causing him to grunt in fury - he just hated the way you wouldn't be affected by his greatness or afraid of his furious glares. Ivar loved how strong you were and hated it in the same proportion.

"You speak as if you didn't know what I did to be here by your side, into this room, hearing these stupidities," you sighed, frustrated, pouring some wine from his amphora into a cup for you and sipping the content.

"Did you really do it for me, Y/N?" he questioned, finally touching a sensitive topic that made you stop the cup you had on its way to your lips once again and place it at the table with a louder noise.

Your eyes became as fierce as his own and Ivar knew he'd gone too far. Yet, his eyes continued to look at yours, making his doubt genuine and causing your anger to boil up.

"Are you insinuating I'm a climber who just wanted to use you as a ladder to a crown, Ivar the Boneless?" you spat it with all the letters, causing him to cringe at the sound of those words so clearly said.

But you continued, defiant. Not a drop of fear mixed with the indignation into your eyes when you stood in front of him, facing the great Ivar, the Boneless, as if he was nothing but a boy speaking gossip of you through the town.

"Is this what you're saying, my king? That I fought my father's intention to have me married to one of Oleg's commanders, came into foreign lands to live with foreign people and among heathen customs, for nothing but the crown you can place on my head?"

Your voice sounded firm as you approached him. Your eyes diving enough into those pools of icy blue waters he had on his face to see his soul shrunk into them, hiding insecurity behind those dangerous words.

"Are you calling me a whore and saying I'll fuck your brother behind your back just because I smiled at him, Ivar?"

"Fucking stop it!" he finally blew up, moving bothered over his bed, frowning with tones of disappointment and frustration covering what was once pure anger in his expression. "I just... I just don't see what you saw in me!" he started, pouring what was truly bothering his heart. "You're a fierce woman, strong, gorgeous mare kissed by Freyja! What would you want with me, Y/N? You seem so relaxed among them... It seems so more natural to see you smiling beside him that..." Ivar paused.

But you knew it was hard for him to admit his fears and so, you gave him time and space, crossing your arms to look at him, waiting for his words.

You would give him time. But he would say it.

And he knew you wouldn't give up until he'd said all the letters so, Ivar sighed, defeated.

"He's whole, Y/N. My brothers are all whole and don't come to me with these eyes rolling once again!" he reprehended you before you could really do what he complained you would. "Hvitserk is a gorgeous man who I've seen attracting more women into his bed than lambs into his stomach! The bastard can lure any woman he wants into his sheets!"

"But not me," you affirmed, categoric.

"It's not what I'm saying!" Ivar complained again, annoyed by the interruption. "Look at them! They're all perfect. Hvitserk is perfect. I'm the broken thing my father's seed produced when he was already full of the many children the gods had promised him," he mourned.

However, instead of allowing him to dive into his grief as his mother used to do, or proceed to spoil his ego as Freydis would do to heal his pain with her sweet little lies, you approached him, caressing his face, turning his insecure blues towards your firm gaze.

"You can't see yourself, can you?" you asked, making his fear become confusion into his blues.

Ivar wasn't used to your way to deal with his self-indulgence yet.

"Oh, pity for him, the broken child of Ragnar Loðbrók," you pretended to cry for a moment, just to light the fire of his anger in the back of his eyes once again before continuing your speech, not letting him try to answer your words. "Cut the bullshit, Ivar! You're a man, like all the others. You grew from a boy, like all the others. Hvitserk may be 'whole' as you said, but he has his flaws and I can see them. He's funny and charming indeed, but his charm doesn't mislead me from the womanizer I can see in his actions nor from the drunken rag he becomes whenever the ball comes to an end. Ubbe could be whole as well, and what did he use his perfect legs for? To flee, like a good coward, from the consequences of his own stupidity, hiding somewhere in Kattegat to lick his mother's murderer's shoes and follow his older brother like a dog instead of a man! Sigurd was whole as well. It didn't prevent him from taking an ax to his chest and who among the two of you is alive, uh?" you asked, increasing the confusion into Ivar's eyes.

How could you be so sure of his value?

How could you be so determined to be with him? By his side?

But there was no mistake in your words, no weakness in your voice. Your words were being poured from your heart and he could see that in your eyes.

"They may be whole, Ivar. You're broken indeed. You can look at your broken legs and cry like a pitiful baby, mourning the gods' will to put the biggest burden over your shoulders. Or you can look at yourself and see that even with this burden over them, you dragged yourself when anyone believed you would even move. You stood when they said you would never walk. You became a leader when they believed you would become a corpse among the children who die at their first Winter."

"But Y/N," he started, this time sounding like that boy you could always see deep inside his eyes. "I'm..."

"You're the boy who lived," you said, cutting his sentence and holding his chin up. "You're the boy who survived, Ivar! They may be whole, but it just proves that with half of what they have you did the double of what they do! Or maybe more! Now stop mourning and stand by my side, husband! Cause I may laugh at them, but it is for you I'll be moaning and it will be your name echoing in my voice in bliss."

"Y/N..." he tried one last time.

Probably, Ivar would start again with that conversation about his supposed impotence. You didn't even let him start, touching your fingers over his lips.

"I'm not a slave whore you had to share with your brothers. Nor a filthy bitch who decided to mislead you with lies and treason, my dear. If you couldn't do it with them, then I'll show you by my side, you can. There is nothing you can't do in this life, Ivar. Your very presence in this room is proof enough of what I'm saying. They told you would never reach your first year... And here you are, leading them all, over their heads. You're more than your self-pity will let you see. But don't worry, my love. I'm here to open your horizons."

You smiled at him, so full of your words.

Ivar still couldn't believe what you were saying. But you were so sure that he couldn't really doubt your convictions.

"Now put a smile on your face and come with me, love," you said, smiling. "If you don't want me laughing at their jokes, then stand by my side and make me laugh by yourself. And stop with this jealousy, Ivar. I'm yours, my love. I chose you. You better be ready to bear my presence for a long time..."

His lips curved although he was trying to hide that smile. And you knew by Ivar's giggle that the arguing was over. He was your man and you were his woman. And no charming prince around would change this.

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life-rewritten · 3 years

Text

Tharn Type 7 Years of Love; The problem with Mame

At the beginning of when TharnType the series announced it was going to get a sequel, my thought went urgh sequels. I don't do sequels; because sequels are horrible, they're not just terrible in this genre, they're awful everywhere, in western dramas, in heterosexual shows etc. This is because sequels are always made with sluggish energy like people just don't respect sequels; they're made to make more money and hound in on the fans love and loyalty and excitement. They're made because of hubris. With Bls, sequels are even worse because Bls already struggle with writing and following up and showing how couples are when they're established. So when it comes to announcements of sequels I always end up shaking my head and being afraid, I ask the question but do we need this really? Why not just create something new and original? And this is the same thought process I had with TharnType, I wanted to see them again, and revel in their love story, chemistry and plot, but I was nervous because of my past experiences with sequels.

Now, my mindset changed as I trusted my past experience with this show. I liked the writing, and I liked the structured plot, and the three-dimensional storyline and character developments. I think with Mame; her outlines are fantastic when you look at the overall picture of the plot, her themes and her ideas. But unfortunately with this sequel, I think it falls apart;

The problem with Sequels

Now there are already three reasons why this was always going to happen:

1. It has a different director. With the previous season, Tee the director helped portray the themes and the story Mame wanted to tell. He brought out the right energy, paced the storyline well, and used the right sound, edits, etc. to show us TT's story.

2. The book of TT 7 years is actually tiny in detail and plot. Basically, a tv show based on it is not going to be fully in depth because it requires fillers to make it long.

3. It had many new side couples and a lot of side couples in this genre are basically always miswritten and given no screen time, no storytelling or plot with the same energy as the main couple. So with this sequel, unfortunately, it actually ended being the opposite; it's actually the main couple who's screen time was sacrificed for the side couples.

But even with these worries, I still came into the show knowing there were things I loved about it; I loved the overall themes, the comprehensive real-life representation of long term relationship, the meta I could analyse and the characters and their mindsets as broken and flawed people which they are. From episode 1 and episode I think everyone noticed that the show wasn't going to great because of the new director. We also saw that the show's strength was put on the actors' ability to hone their characters and Mame's writing. However, by episode 3, I had fallen in love with the show again because the one thing Mame is good at is showing a love story even if other people don't agree. Her basis for what love is is what makes me hooked onto her shows. Her love stories are always more in-depth and dimensional every single time; they have more to them than just a typical generic plot.

The problem with Tharn Type 7 Years

Now one of the reasons I fell in love with this is because of the introduction to Leo and Fiat. Shocking right? But I knew that she had given the same depth, flaws and effort as she did with TT in Season 1. They were meant to mirror a version of TT, and their journey to be together was meant to be just as problematic and dramatic. As I'm going to be writing about the flaws of this show, I still want people to know; I believe in everything the subtext was showing, she has been building up scenes and clues to letting us know what the overall story was meant to be, and as much as I don't want to because it's also her fault, I think her director failed at helping her show her message as well.

So when looking at one of the overarching problems with the show, we have the story of Leo and Fiat; they have this deep, dimensional and interesting love story. They're both so in love and devoted to each other, but for some reason, they can't communicate and tell each other how they feel. And this is so important to TT 7 Years because Fiat is the villain of the show. The plot with Leo refusing to tell him how he feels is a big plotline to unveil because it's the real reason why he ends up breaking up Tharn and Type. Now Tharn and Type already needed to separate and break up because their relationship no matter how strong their love is was always going to reach a pause because they still had to deal with past internal scars. Type wasn't at the beginning fully healed from his past and his trauma, (by dealing with his boss drama, he actually ended up reaching his healing and overcoming his conflict). Because of this, he wasn't ready to cross the line and marry Tharn. However, episode 8, he has now grown and overcome his issues and so is now ready to be onboard with Tharn.

The problem with Tharn

But the thing is Tharn also had his own internal scars to heal from; he also has his own traumatic mindset that shapes his actions and his views because of season 1's villain Lhong. Now, this is where the issue with TT 7 Years starts;

It's fantastic writing, because not every BL has dimensional characters that go through character healing and development this way. The problem is this storyline is told in subtext. If you were me, then subtext is a fun way to watch a show, because it leads to the need to find clues and bring them to the surface and fit that with what the show is telling you. But if you can't see or have the patience to understand subtext, then you won't understand certain choices the writer makes. You'll end up feeling betrayed, annoyed and cheated by the story. Especially if the show is different from what you expected it to be because of watching and loving season 1.

One of the biggest problems people complain about in TT 7 Years is that the TT is not in the show. Tharn especially does not have a lot of screen time in the show at times, the show really revolved around Type's regression to season 1's mindset because of his boss, and there's a reason for why that happened. It was so he dealt with his past and came out knowing why he needed to stay with Tharn forever as we see him in episode 8 and 9 realise. He found out; he couldn't be without Tharn so we'd reached a stage where marriage would have been possible for him in episode 10. Now the problem with this, is now he's grown, and everything is starting to be sorted out, Type has gone through his issues and dealt with them, and so we're all happy and excited, everything is meant to be perfect. But there was one thing Mame forgot and messed up in her writing. Tharn.

And the sad thing is she started building this up in episode 1 to 3, but it got pushed to the side. She made Tharn stagnant, he was perfection and a supportive system to Type, but he hadn't dealt with his own issues and flaws. He hadn't grown. As much as she was showing with vigour the regression and healing of Type, we were also meant to be seeing the deterioration of Tharn into his season 1 mindset. (this is why they break up in episode 10, the reason he thinks Type would cheat with Fiat). There are still psychologically embedded scars with Tharn and whilst Type dealt with his biggest fears; coming out to the public, trusting people with his sexuality etc. Tharn did not develop the same, and it breaks my heart because I get why TharnType had lower screen time at times in this season; it's to showcase the distance between them and their desperate need to be together. It's meant to show us how separated they are. It's fine that that's why you're doing this (the whole storyline is about this separation).

Still, the thing is even if they're not together in the screen, what failed the show is that we saw Type regress and show his growth, but we didn't see Tharn have his own storyline and regression to the point in episode 10. We've been getting so much foreshadowing, so much subtext, so much build-up below the surface showing that this will happen, but we only see that outcome in episode 10. Do you get the issue? Now the reason for why Tharn is going to regress isn't going to make sense.

The problem with break ups

Let's think about the problem with Tharn thinking Type would cheat on him. One they've been together for seven years, it's frustrating because it makes sense why he would think this way if you understood the subtext and you understand his mindset that has never healed from season 1, but if you don't know the subtext it falls apart. A writer is meant to give the audience enough clues properly on the surface as well as subtext, so they understand what's going on in your story. The reason why season 1 of TT went well is because of the chemistry, intense storyline that was on the surface even then people didn't fully understand the subtext that was going on between the two, they didn't get the deep meanings of the psychological scars that they held, and how it affected their actions. All some focused on is that it was a love story of two people who were incredibly flawed but were meant to be together, but in TT 7 Years they're not given the same screen time to be together, so everyone feels cheated and frustrated when Tharn goes all of a sudden to; Type is cheating on me. When really there's no clues or evidence for you to be thinking this way.

Now the reason why this is insulting and upsetting is because when it's time to look at why they're breaking up after everything, the only reason you can say they're breaking up is because Tharn thinks Type would cheat so willingly without listening to an explanation... Really? So you're telling me that the disagreement about marriage, the conversation they've been building up about it, is not even going to be the reason for why they break up, the whole crux of the show since episode 1 -4. This has been built up this marriage dilemma, and we know that Type is finally now ready to get married and give everything to Tharn since he's realised he can't function without him, you're telling us that now that he's prepared for all that, that marriage disagreement theme isn't even the reason for why we get our most significant conflict, but Fiat is who's going to be a problem.

The marriage disagreement is pushed on the down low, and when we're finally needing it to be the reason for why these two need to separate since that's what you've been hinting at above all things, it wouldn't make any sense to the audience why you've been building this up for so long. The two reasons for why TT was always going to break up since episode 1 with foreshadowings, subtext and hints is Fiat being a villain and coming to the storyline to make Tharn think Type is cheating and because of the marriage disagreement, Tharn is going through regression of his mindset to season 1. But we didn't get to see it. We didn't get to see Tharn show emotions struggling about thinking Type could be unfaithful or that he's really struggling with some psychological breakdown about fear of being left again.

Instead, Tharn shows up out of nowhere, wants to propose to Type and sees Fiat do something to Type and thinks Type would be unfaithful. It's ridiculous to me from what I'm seeing in the trailer that he just doesn't hear Type out. And the second thing that's even more annoying about it is that it's Type who says they should separate. It makes no sense because we know from season 1 that it's a big thing for Type to say let's take a break or break up. He knows he shouldn't say that to Tharn. They made a promise to each other. It shouldn't have been Type who suggests again the break up it should have been Tharn. The emphasis of the relationship ending should have been Tharn saying I'm giving up on us. I don't feel like we're meant to be together anymore, not only is this painfully ironic because he's the one who's spent the whole season trying so hard to prevent their relationship from ending but we've just seen Type come to the realisation he can't be without Tharn so it'll hurt even more because his regression although irrational is understandable. So again the writing is messed up, and the storyline is cheap because you didn't even remember the immense impact of what breaking up means to TT and the huge meaning and clues in season 1. The audience feels cheated; it feels cheap like as if the story we've just watched was for no reason.

The problem with subtext

Now I love TharnType with my whole heart. I've been defending and still believe this is written at times amazingly, but the cheating thing doesn't sit well with me when it comes to directors choices and writing. I think we've had three episodes dealing with TT being away from each other in these two to three episodes Mame should have been putting little doubts in Tharns mind building up, so we get the final breakdown of it. We should have seen him see clues or hints that doesn't sit well with him, for example, Fiat liking all of Type's post, seeing a message on Type's phone, hearing someone mention they saw Type with Fiat etc. He questions himself. He shakes his head, but it still lingers. We should have seen Fiat bump into him alone, (since he's manipulative and meant to be a better villain) when he was around and mention something about Type that piques his interest he pushes that down with worry. Then he runs to Type, and he says something like you're never going to leave me, are you?

For foreshadowing purposes. What this does, is that it doesn't blindside the audience into thinking one kiss or interaction would make him immediately regress and think his boyfriend of 7 years would cheat on him. What this does, is that it portrays his mental breakdown and regression as he keeps seeing hints or clues that make him regress back to his season 1 self with Lhong and Tar and we see just as we watched Type break down with the boss, his own decline. In fact other than the marriage proposal, the thing we should have seen him struggle with is doubt after doubt despite fighting it that he's not good enough to keep Types attention. Not that Type would hurt him on purpose, but he's not perfect for Type.

This way, the conflict is more painful and more understandable when he shouts and accuses Type who is oblivious that he's been having doubts and that they should separate for a while. It should be Tharn that's saying let's end this irrationally. It should be him breaking down and regressing into his petty, stubborn self. That would have been hurtful and made more sense. He has many scars and trauma with people leaving him. It would have been nice that these three episodes when he was away, and Type didn't know he became vulnerable again into that mindset, it would have mirrored Types on regression into his season 1 mindset because of his boss. The two of them would be broken, need to separate for a bit, and we know and understand why and then fix their issues, miss each other, and return strong and confident in love.

All we're getting is Tharn seeing clues immediately he arrives and making up some story in his head which makes no sense because Type may not be fully always romantic and wanting to marry but Type lets him know he needs him and isn't going anywhere. That being said, we don't know the whole situation, and it could be better explained in subtext next episode, but I am disappointed at how the Fiat villainy turned out.

The problem with Leo and Fiat

After all the build-up, we should have had in episode 6 in my opinion as Fiat cried, the truth about him and Leo; a flashback to show why he's suffering and making the choices he's making. That way the audience wouldn't be so pulled away from him even in his despicable acts we'd still understand he's broken and thinking he has no other way but this.

Instead, we've gotten the same narrative repeated, and Leo says the same stuff, does the same stuff and Fiat and Leo speak about their feelings in riddles with each other. Fiat makes no sense when he cries and cries over Leo and rejects his pleas to come to him when all we see is Leo in a sad, positive light as the only person who's genuinely suffering from this unrequited love when it isn't so; it's his undoing for judging Fiat for sleeping around. Fiat sleeps around because that's all people ask of him. He says it to Type that he tried the dating thing but all people wanted from him was his body, and we even see it actually in episode 3 on his date with that randomer why he sleeps around, it's because Leo isn't there or he feels he can't have Leo.

So yes, you can slut-shame him for constantly wanting love and affection, looking for the right person for him to avoid Leo's rejections that he isn't that person. But he's just looking for a long-lasting relationship with someone who can make him feel better than Leo. Because Leo has adamantly been friend-zoning Fiat even before he started to sleep around, so that's why he doesn't believe in anything Leo says now because he's had to deal with this rejection for so long, I'm upset because Mame should have shown us on the surface not on subtext by now Fiats plight and his mindset.

Because if I didn't know what was happening in subtext and I just thought Fiat was manipulative and evil and selfish then yeah I'd also be angry that Leo and Fiat keep going round and round in circles with 80% of the screen time. A lot of the reasons why Tharn and Type the show is being so negatively viewed is because of lack of energy from the director in fully helping us see the clues that Mame has left in the show. Because she's not a bad writer she structures plots and she has a bigger picture of why certain things happen but if they're not appropriately shown to the audience then yeah the show will flop and be seen in a negative light.

So yes I feel by episode 6 we should have had Fiats backstory when he was breaking down crying over Leo the first time when he said something like "all I do is for you. I need to do this for you." Then watching his fight with Leo won't just hurt but it'll make more sense and when you see both of them crying it'd hurt just the same. Leo is an idiot, but I get his own mindset about the sleeping around because he doesn't want to be a fling to Fiat so he'll never confess. But he's just as bad as Fiat. And I wish people understood that.

The problem with character development

Tharn needed more screen time even if he's not with Type. Him being seen as this perfect boyfriend every single episode only being irrational when it comes to the marriage disagreement should not have been this way. We should have been building up to his spiralling down his regression, his flaws that way when he and Type break up we really have understood why everything fell apart. The issue that I loved about this show at first is that everything is in subtext. Every clue to the plot, the character dynamics and the character mindsets; all of it is hidden in subtext and not fully fleshed out. This worked well in TT season 1 because the other plotlines joined together to form a narrative that was building up and leading us to the plot twist that Lhong was evil all along. But here it feels like every scene on the surface is a waste of screen time and writing when really the clues are just hidden. It's fun to analyse subtext, but when your storyline on the surface is filled with repetition and is going nowhere. The audience would feel cheated and unsure about what your message is. That's how I think many people are feeling seeing Tharn conclude with one clue or one day that Type cheated on him. It feels ridiculous and cheap as plotline because the build-up wasn't there.

So yeh I love TharnType, but I also am getting your frustrations with the plot. I'm also disappointed at some choices made in the show. Could it be better, yes? Is it the worst? No far from it!! But is it TT season 1? No. And so yeah we have another sequel that isn't the perfect follow up. I still think if you watch this show with season 1 together like a binge-watch, it'll be easier to see the subtext and understand the characters' actions. The way the story is being told would make more sense. And it'd be a great show still. Yeah, that's all I have to say. This is really my analysis for this week's episode. I'll just keep repeating the same things over and over again if I write another essay about the subtext. If you want to understand more about the show, you can check my previous analysis.

#tharntype #tharntype 2: 7 years of love #thai bl #bl series #bl drama #tharn and type #january #cwg #fvete

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prurientpuddlejumper · 4 years

Text

Guerrerita

Part 2 ->

Summary: Nevada takes you out on a fancy date and things go poorly.

Nevada Ramirez x Feral Female Reader

Warnings: allusions to domestic violence but no actual domestic violence, just some assumptions based on Nevada being generally an asshole. A bit of regular violence though. (OK, you know that trope where the Honorable Tough Guy beats up a stranger’s abusive husband to teach him a lesson?) Mature content, but no smut this chapter.

1,796 words

While most people would consider a romantic dinner at a sophisticated restaurant relaxing, everything about it had you on edge. It was too fancy for you to belong there, even in the elegant dress Nevada bought for you. The dress was too form-fitting, too low-cut. It made your cleavage look ample, and though you were getting accustomed to wearing such pieces in your new employment, your confidence in the feminine was still lacking.

You hunkered low in your seat, trying to be as small as possible so no one would look at you. Of course your nervous fidgeting only made them look more.

Not helping matters was your date, sitting across from you at the small, intimate dining table. Nevada Ramirez cocked his brow sarcastically as he made an inappropriately sexual comment about the aforementioned dress, and the aforementioned way your breasts looked in it.

“It’s almost distracting enough that you don’t notice the—” he gestured at your face with a mocking smirk, and laughed almost cruelly as he saw your eyes flash wide.

Your jaw clenched and you thought of a million biting comebacks you could shoot at him, and briefly envisioned flipping over the table and decking him, but instead you shrunk further in your chair.

“Come on, guerrerita, don’t be like that,” he frowned. He seemed genuinely upset that you were shriveling instead of being riled into taking his bait.

Never in a million years would you have imagined yourself with an asshole like Nevada. Vulgar, loud, rough around the edges. A gang leader who earned the nickname of a ruthless dictator. But your life had been in a downward spiral, and Trujillo found you at the bottom of it. He recruited you into the crime family, and gave you a purpose when everything in your law-abiding life was falling apart.

It was a recent development that you’d admitted your feelings for each other, and until now your relationship (outside of work) had been limited to passionate, desperate, intense sex. Fucking Trujillo was like fucking the illegal fireworks he sold, but this was the first time you’d allowed yourself to be seen out in public with him—in decent company, anyway.

He’d insisted on taking you out to celebrate with something nice, just the two of you. None of his men lurking over your shoulders. Something he thought you’d want, even though all you wanted was to go back to the Heights and rip his clothing off. Now you were too pissed off and embarrassed to even want to fuck him.

You thought he might tone himself down for the upscale venue, but Vada had been his usual obnoxious self all night, and more genteel diners were glaring. Honestly, this was why you couldn’t stand him at first, even though he was incredibly handsome. But his boorish exterior belied a cunning, organized businessman who had all of Washington Heights under his thumb, who earned his community’s loyalty through fear, yes, but ultimately, by taking care of them. There was, underneath the showy performances of flippant laughter and casual brutality, a certain sensitivity you had grown keenly protective of.

He saw the value in things others overlooked. He recognized all the anger and pain stamped inside you behind those mild suburban manners—things polite society considered flaws—and told you that you were exactly what he needed. That those things were an asset to him. That you were valuable.

No one ever said that to you before.

You weren’t in love with him. He would always be a ruthless criminal, and one day you’d want your normal life back. But you had grown… attached.

One of the glaring diners was eyeing Nevada with particular suspicion, not just briefly glancing up when he laughed too loud or made a rude remark to the waiter. He shot Vada a profoundly dirty look and held it long enough to raise your hackles. He sat at the bar about four table lengths away, had shoulder-length hair, a messy stubble beard, and a solid physical build. You would have mistaken him for a surfer except you were on the wrong coast, and your instincts told you he was dangerous. You quietly assessed the potential threat while maintaining your meek posture low in the chair. A cop? Or a rival gang leader? Unlikely to make a move inside the restaurant with so many witnesses. You’d watch the exits when it was time for the check.

The waiter brought the main course to the table, and blessedly, digging into a meal finally shut up Nevada’s feisty tongue. Instead of sleazy remarks, he made small-talk about how good everything tasted. Maybe it wasn’t just having his mouth stuffed that mellowed him. There was a softness in his eyes now—a look reserved for when you were alone together, when he knew something was bothering you. You guessed he finally caught on that you were not having a good time.

Nevada never took anything seriously, until suddenly he did. You’d seen him throw opponents off balance by dropping from sardonic laughter to spine-chilling hostility, and the effect was equally potent when he dropped into affection.

His foot bumped into your leg—those shiny black leather shoes that looked like someone cut off a tacky cowboy boot at the ankle—and slowly brushed against it under the table. It wasn’t an aggressively sexual maneuver, just an affectionate contact letting you know he was there. It worked. You lanced a slice of filet mignon on your fork, and felt your shoulders relax with his change in attitude. It was a simple gesture, but the warmth of his leg spread tingling waves through your skin, making your face flush. A private, intimate moment, like a sharing secret. That was the most thrilling part of the relationship, really—the secret that the fearsome Trujillo had a tender side. In a way, you were like two opposite halves that fit together perfectly.

Before long, you were comfortable enough to start gushing about the day’s victory you were there to celebrate, and the staring stranger had slipped entirely from your mind.

***

You excused yourself to use the bathroom, and as you washed your hands in the mirror, you got a good look your swollen black eye. You’d taken a glove to the face hard, but it opened your opponent’s guard and let you hit them back harder until they went down, and you walked away with prize money from the biggest tournament you’d ever won. Nevada was so turned on by your aggression, it took all his willpower not to barge into the locker room and fuck you right then and there. Instead, he treated you to dinner at a nice place like a gentleman, which was a very sweet, if misguided effort.

The bruise had spread and darkened in the hours since you received it, and your makeup no longer did anything to hide it. And there you were all innocent, in a cute little dress, slouching nervously across from a character from Breaking Bad. Oh fuck, no wonder everyone was giving him dirty looks.

An icy fist clenched around your heart as you remembered surfer-hair sitting at the bar, and you suddenly didn’t feel right about leaving Nevada unguarded. You shook the water off your hands and rushed back out into the dining area.

You were just being paranoid, of course. No one would start a fight in the middle of the restau—

Fuck.

Your table was empty. And so was that spot at the bar.

Worst-case scenarios ran through your head and your field of vision narrowed. A waiter hurried past with a tray of dirty dishes and you grabbed him by the arm hard enough for several plates to go flying as you whipped him around. “Did you see where the man at that table went?!” you demanded, pointing.

Indignant protests died half-formed on the surprised waiter’s lips and turned to terror at your intensity. “I-I think he went out to smoke! The side door!”

You dropped his arm without a thank you and marched with purpose to the door, which pushed open into a dim back alley.

“If you ever lay a hand on her again—” surfer-hair was snarling, pinning Nevada against the side of a metal dumpster, fist raised about to strike.

Nevada’s lip was bleeding, but he wore a cocky grin, letting fly a string of filthy Spanish expletives.

“You think it’s funny beating on a helpless girl? Let’s see how you like it.”

Nevada was scrappy, but not especially large. He’d gotten in a few hits, but was losing, badly. He was more the brains of his criminal operation, which was why he was always accompanied by protection. And now you were seeing red.

The man got off another punch to Nevada’s smirking face before you could reach them, the dull impact unlocking a boiling rage that rose in your blood and turned you into someone you wouldn’t recognize once the heat had passed. As he reared back for another, you used his momentum to keep him sailing backwards, off balance.

“DON’T YOU”—you kicked him in the chest, staggering him back—“FUCKING TOUCH HIM!” you roared.

Carrying forward on the momentum of the kick, you threw your entire body into punch after brutal punch, hissing and snarling like an animal, driving him back and down, your primal fury relishing the sensation of fists slamming into solid flesh and bone. You were going to break this fucker for daring to hurt Trujillo. “I will kill you! I will kill you!” you screamed, thrashing him in a relentless onslaught that never gave him an opening to regain his footing. The man might have given a better showing, but he was still recovering from the shock of being beaten senseless by a demon he had assumed was a fragile soul in need of rescuing.

You felt a hand grasp your shoulder and threw a vicious elbow, stopping yourself inches before seeing whose nose it was you were about to shatter. “Princesa, princesa—calmate. Tranquila, baby girl…” he cooed, pulling you off.

“I’ll fucking kill you!” you kept shrieking, legs and arms kicking out at the air, trying to continue raining blows down on your enemy as Nevada restrained you. You struggled against Nevada’s arms, your hammering pulse chanting murder in your ear, but never striking a blow against him. Even in a blind rage, your instincts recognized he was yours to protect.

In the way his long fingers gripped you, the rhythm of his breath in your ear, and how close he held his body firm against you, he was clearly turned on.

He cackled at the would-be do-gooder. “You don’t wanna mess with an MMA champ’s boyfriend, comemierda. I don’t think she’s kidding! Better run while you can.”

“Alright, alright, Jesus fucking Christ,” he muttered, guarding his face. “Who the hell are you people?”

Nevada’s smile could have split his face in two. “She’s my bodyguard.”

#nevada ramirez x reader #Nevada ramirez #Raúl Esparza #reader insert #trouble in the heights #female reader #protectiveness #reader is once again completely feral because all my readers are feral #but I really went all out on this one hahaha #my writing

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