#his 401K is empty

[zolanort]

This is how I remember it happening.

#he just wants to be able to retire #lorule had terrible benefits #his 401K is empty #ravio prompt #linkeduniverse #linked universe #lu legend #lu ravio #my art #loz albw #albw ravio

[foreverfalling21]

OKAY BUT JASKIER'S WIG IS A HATE CRIME. What did they do to you, you sweet, gentle, surprisingly buff man???

#jaskier #the witcher #the witcher season 3 #joey batey #im genuinely upset #my mans looks like he went through a divorce and had to empty out his 401k #or something like that

[talesfrommedinastation]

My Redneck Neighbor Doug has watched The Bad Batch Season 3 opener:

LEEEEET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!

This is more pithy than normal: Doug's been busy with work, as have I. But I'm determined to hear his thoughts on The Daddy Warcrimes 'n Company so here we go!

These were all via text messages, btw.

CW: Doug Doug's as you know Doug will do. Away!

---------------------------------------------------

Episode 1: 'Little Orphan Blondie's Shit Internship at The Museum of Science and Industry'

Poor Little Orphan Blondie, stuck in The Museum of Science and Industry in a shit summer job because they got bills to pay. Except they got rid of the dinosaurs and walk in heart and filled it with gross shit.

Hey look, they still got the coal mine exhibit! Man I miss Chicago.

(Doug, that museum has never had dinosaurs. “What, since when?”)

MUTANT JIMMERS EVERYWHERE! Aw, Little Orphan Blondie gave one her chicken nuggets! And it’s shy, aw, I hope it’s okay.

Poor Mutant Jimmers…she named her?! Swear to Christ Almighty if that dog gets Old Yeller’d I’ll just lose it. 

That freaky alien thing that ran the mall on the ocean looks sad, I bet she wishes she fell into the water and got eaten by a shark or something. I wish you did too, lady. 

The Sons of Robocop really are everywhere, they must be a cult or something. They look cool, I’d join, why not. Think they get 401ks?

Oh man, Daddy Warcrimes is down bad. Poor Daddy Warcrimes. Man, all my clone boys are stooped and sad…this ain’t good. 

At least Little Orphan Blondie can craft! Man, she should start selling those at the Museum of Science and Industry’s gift shop. Maybe Tarkin can bring one back for the grandchildren he’s not allowed to talk to since the restraining order was put in.

Oh, there’s Stepsister Beth, she seems on edge. Must’ve gotten divorced recently, don’t blame her ex, I bet she screamed at him for leaving cabinets open who knows. How do her eyeballs not hurt after wearing those dumb glasses all day?

Episode 2: 'Night Elves and Neverland Ranch'

The night elves from Warcraft invaded Star Wars and got horns or something and now they have a castle that looks like a boss level in Diablo IV or V or how many Diablo games they got now.

Now they yelling at people and throwing them in the basement today. Makes sense, gotta fight the orcs and stuff. Think they fight the orcs in the basement?

The Night Elf Horned Queen hired Daddy Rambo and Julio to get people, I guess they’re turning into Boba Fett or something. They got her son's horn back, guess that's good. Oh they need new paint jobs on their armor.

Do they end up in the basement in the Diablo Boss Level? No? And off they go! 

Daddy Rambo and Julio are in their homeland of FLORIDA! Hell yeah, SPACE FLORIDA! And they’re bringing the talking trashcan with them using straps! Go Julio go!  Yeah, boa vines, this is TOTALLY the Everglades! 

Escaped clone boys! Oh man! Shit, is Neverland Ranch in the jungle? Oh man–oh, they know what they’re doing. Good kids. Real good kids. Oh what happened to the rest of them? Oh Meat Muffin, this ain't good :(.

You know what? Them clone boys are smart, take it back, this ain’t Space Florida, this is Space Louisiana! Them baby boys gone get feral and run off into the bayou and live in the caves and now you know my origin story, Meat Muffin! 

If this was Florida they'd just end up working the late shift at Zaxby's and smoking rocks in the parking lot. We know better, we French and all.

I bet they’ve been living on nutria and half-empty chicken boxes from behind the gas stations. Resourceful scrappy kids and I can tell its making Daddy Rambo proud.

Oh holy SHIT, there go them vines! It's like the kudzu all over again, maybe this is LaFourche Parish?

See, them boys are definitely white trash, Mandalorian rednecks. Look at em, living in the woods and hijacking a plane, but they good kids, saving their brothers. Even saved the robot too. 

Man, all the feels, them poor little boys. What will they do now?  Oh, they're going to Space Daytona! Good, wait, I saw the trailer, doesn't the Empire invade it? THIS AIN'T GOOD MEAT MUFFIN!!!

Wait...where's Toaster Strudel and Rex?

Episode 3: 'Blondie Got a Gun'

Well here's the Emperor. He wants to be immortal. Gotta make that other movie make sense or something.

Where's Darth Vader? Is he running the government when the Emperor is running around giggling?

Don’t you DARE kill Mutant Jimmers, you damn droid. I hate that ugly assed stupid thing. It looks like its scarecrow daddy fucked a microwave and then left it enough money to go to Planned Parenthood but instead spent it on crack and there ya go.  

Oh shut your goddamned yap, Jimmy the Scientist. I bet he gloves that hand up because he keeps shoving it up his own ass and that's why he walks funny all the damn time.

The Emperor also has a Diablo IV or VIII boss level all to himself too at the Museum of Science and Industry. How many Diablo games are there, Meat Muffin?

YEAH, LITTLE ORPHAN BLONDIE! GIT ER DONE!!! They're out! Oh wow! There she goes with Daddy Warcrimes! Kill em all and let GOD SORT THEM OUT! That's my GIRL!!!!

Blondie’s got a gun 

Blondie’s got a gun

Her whole world's come undone

Shooting droids is FUN!

GO MUTANT JIMMERS GO!!!! 

YEAH BLONDIE DADDY WARCRIMES AND MUTANT JIMMERS!!!!!!

I AIN'T A BULLS FAN BUT REPEAT THE THREE PEAT! YEAH!!!!!!

....so when we gonna get Toaster Strudel and Rex? Next one? Where's my reg boys?!

-----------------

Tagging those who missed my Cajun neighbor. LOOKS LIKE REDNECK DOUG IS BACK ON THE MENU, BOYS!

@skellymom @amalthiaph @eyecandyeoz @cdblake1565 @sued134 @merkitty49 @supremechancellorrex @yeehawgeek @wrenkenstein @techs-stitches @deezlees @autistic-artistech @perfectlywingedcrusade @auntie-venom @megmca @thecoffeelorian

#tbb #cloneforce99 #thebadbatch #redneck doug #doug watches star wars #star wars tv #cajun doug #doug why #star wars fans #the bad batch #the bad batch season 3 #bad batch season 3 #tbb season three #tbb spoilers #tbb s3 #fan reaction

[fellshish]

just felt like letting you know im makin my way through your spn bookmarks on ao3 and its saving my life 💚 do you have an ultimate-nothing-compares destiel faves from the bunch?

YES omg these are the fics that rewired my brain changed my life etc:

And this your living kiss (M, 56k): au where dean is a self deprecating former poet who used to write anonymously under the pen name jack allen. Now he’s finding his way back to loving poetry by taking a class at a college taught by professor novak… only he doesn’t know professor novak happens to be the number one jack allen scholar in the country. Amazing. Inspiring. I’ve reread it several times and it’s probably my favourite fic of all time

The cheapest room in the house (E, 89k): one of those fics whose writing i’m jealous of, it’s mind bogglingly good. And hot. The destiel grindr fic — cas downloads grindr and dean helps him. The rituals are SO intricate. But really, nothing i could say could do justice to how good this is.

Fenario (E, 47k): cas empty rescue fic. Certain paragraphs and scenes are just seared into my brain, amazing writing. I still think about “Cas’s legs give out and he pitches forward, falling the rest of the way into Dean’s lap in a mockery of a pieta” — that’s the point where i knew this fic was gonna become a fave

Right where you left me (E, 93k): cas comes back from the empty but it’s years later. He rings the doorbell and finds dean married. This fic was an event while it was still updating. Supremely well written and with an emotional maturity needed for the theme

Am I a man or am I a muppet (G, 7k): one of the funniest fics i’ve ever read. Dean wakes up as a muppet. Just roll with it! It’s crack, sure, but so good?? This inspired a scene in one of my gomens fics even

Burn this into your brains forever (E, 10k): to me this is an underrated fic for how funny it is. Fake dating between dean and garth but don’t worry, it’s a destiel fic

Half empty (M, 37k): more of a dean study. Reads like you’re dreaming and nothing makes sense. Dean is confused about everything. Kind of a mysterious vibe, excellent writing

There is rest for the wicked (G, 14k): sleepy, domestic dean. The destiel happens so…. Idk. Naturally. It’s a fic that really stays with you for a long time

Ninety one whiskey (E, 401k): one of thee destiel fics of all time. It’s famously a must-read and for good reason. A war fic, so quite heavy and not for everyone. But an absolute experience. I read the last few chapters in bed middle of the night tears streaming down my face. Simply iconic

A winter’s tale (T, 64k): this fic forever changed the way i see cas’ human arc on the show. Not super destiel-y but can be read that way. Again quite heavy. Northernsparrow is an excellent writer.

The dean winchester beat sheet (E, 144k): au where dean is in college and in complete and utter denial about his sexuality. So supremely funny. I will say this dean is not for everyone. But to me he is iconic and i think about certain scenes still. Forever changed the song i want to break free for me.

What has eight tentacles and isn’t allowed to eat pie? (T, 16k): basically uhhhh dean gets turned into an octopus. HEAR ME OUT. This fic will change you fundamentally as a person. It’s funny but also smart. A classic!

Maybe it really is the end (M, 2k): it’s short but there’s not a word out of place. Basically, belphegor taunts dean and cas while in the body of jack. It’s so good and so underrated. I think about it all the time

How a grocer watches dean pull his head out of his ass in seven days (E, 51k): destiel written from an outsider pov, a christian lady who’s easily scandalised and whose narrative voice is SO hilarious. One of the funniest fics i’ve ever read. Fake dating too!

#destiel #my asks #destiel fic recs #fells book club

[profoundbondfanfic]

hi there just wondering what is the angstiest fics you guys have collectively read? I’m in search for the angstiest angst to ever angst

Hey there, sorry for the delay, but here are a few of our fav angstiest fics!

A Complete Kingdom by komodobits [Explicit, 85k words] #major character death

The sea; it swallows me. It comes up to my knees and it swallows me. The boys owe Jody a few dozen favours, and so when her niece goes missing near an old fishing village on the coast of Maine, Dean, Sam, and a newly human Castiel agree to take the case on. They settle into an old abandoned lighthouse-keepers' cottage, and slowly the tide comes in. (post-s8)

Angels Don't Fear the Reaper by you-cant-spell-subtext-without (ayreisha) [Mature, 144k words] #angst with a happy ending

"When his eyes first open, there is nothing but darkness. Not the velvety, deep black of night, but the steely, thin murk of nothingness. Of cold. Of death. Of Death. Somehow, it feels like coming home."

Every Part of the Animal by Askance (doomcountry), komodobits [Mature, 47k words] #major character death

It’s their first case after the Trials, after Heaven has collapsed: playing back-up to another team of hunters taking out some werewolves in the mountains. It's a routine job, an easy job - at least until the radio goes silent. Sam, Dean, and Cas follow after, but the caves into which the hunters have vanished wind deeper and darker than they could have expected, and something is wrong. Cas can feel it. The Winchesters may not believe what he’s hearing, but there's something down here with them—and it's not the people they came here to find, and it's not the werewolves they've been tracking. It's something else, something older, something violent, and it knows they're here.

Grey by Valinde (Valyria) [Explicit, 65k words] #angst with a happy ending

In a world where people don't see in color until they find their true mate, the first thing Dean sees when he pulls himself out of his grave is the blue sky. When Castiel raised him from the Pit, he inadvertently claimed Dean as his mate.

Man in the Wilderness by OneHundredSuns [Explicit, 68k words] #angst with a happy ending

Dean Winchester is fresh out of Purgatory along with every other Tom, Dick and Wendigo that called the cesspool home. As the monsters lay waste to the Earth and eat anything they can get their hands on, Dean sets out to find his only remaining family so that they can hunker down and fight the assholes head on. He doesn’t mean to stumble upon Castiel Novak and his adorable twins in the middle of the apocalypse and he sure as hell doesn’t mean to offer them a ride to wherever they are trying to get to. But the world is a dangerous place now and he’s always been a sucker for blue eyes and cute kids. So he’ll help them out and just hope it doesn’t get him or them killed in the process.

Ninety One Whiskey by komodobits [Explicit, 401k words] #angst with a happy ending

In the spring of 1944, the 104th Medical Battalion of the United States Army is disbanded, and its men reassigned to various infantry companies in preparation for their invasion of occupied France. For First Lieutenant Novak, this is less than helpful, as he has so far met his platoon’s designated medic a grand total of twice, and has both times found Sergeant Winchester to be the optimum combination of reckless, arrogant, and downright insufferable so as to make cohesive platoon function near impossible. When the time comes to move out, however, Castiel has to reconcile himself to the fact that men are going to go down and trust that Dean Winchester may well be the only person who can put them back together again. WW2 ETO infantry AU.

Right Where You Left Me by outdean [Explicit, 93k words] #angst with a happy ending

Ten years after the empty swallows Cas up, it spits him right back out—but a lot can change in a decade. OR The "Cas comes back from the empty to find that Dean is married" fic.

The Benjamin Franklin Key-and-Kite Experiment by beerenee [Explicit, 122k words] #angst with a happy ending

“Thank you for stopping by, Dean,” Emmanuel says, holding out the jacket. “I hope to see you in church on Sunday.” The tips of Dean’s fingers accidentally brush over the back of Emmanuel’s hand when he reaches for the jacket. “Probably not,” Dean laughs as he pulls Dad’s jacket around him. “Like I said before, I’m not exactly a believer. You?” Emmanuel doesn’t answer immediately. Then, without really looking at Dean (more like looking through him,) he whispers, “I will be.” Or 1.12 but Dean's faith healer is Emmanuel!Cas

the inexhaustible silence of houses by Askance (doomcountry) [Teen, 31k words] #unhappy ending

Almost two years after the world doesn't end, Castiel falls from grace—and loses his voice in the process. It is the impetus for confession and change; before long, he is settling into a loving relationship with Dean, the Winchesters are tired, and hunting for a place to land has taken precedence to hunting anything else. Dean and Castiel fall in love with the strange little house on the end of Swallowtail Drive, and for a little while life is as it should be—sweet, affectionate, and beginning afresh. But more and more Castiel sees and hears things in the house that beg the question of whether or not a place itself can be alive. The walls and rooms seem to shift and grow and breathe, and one night, Dean comes home from a hunt changed in a way that Castiel cannot explain. In the months that follow, their domestic bliss takes turns for the dark and sour, and the confusion of their circumstances will ultimately test everything Castiel knows about the man he loves, and everything he believes to be true.

The walk by Persephoneshadow [Explicit, 196k words] #angst with a happy ending

Dean's been living on the streets and turning tricks for a while. Most of the time clients just find him. After a job goes wrong he goes looking for work and finds more than he expected with a married man of faith with blue eyes and a trench coat.

To build a Home by intothesilentland [Mature, 383k words] #angst with a happy ending

Twenty-three years of head-over-heels, devastating devotion and love, love, love for the man with bright eyes and dark hair. Fourteen years of friends, best friends, of always together. One moment of rejection. Nine years of apart. Nine years of heartbreak, nine years of continents away, of not speaking, of no acknowledgement, no interaction, no closure, no peace. No happiness. Nine years of Dean’s life entering motions, going through them, constant, cold and mechanic, like clockwork. Nine years of alone. God. Nine years. A lot has changed. And yet Dean still loves Cas just the same. Even if his heart hurts all kinds of different. On the day of Jimmy Novak’s funeral, Dean sees Cas for the first time in nine years. He adored Castiel the moment he met him, at only four years old. But after fourteen years of friendship destroyed by one moment of heartbreak, and after nine years of silence, Dean is convinced Cas will want nothing to do with him. And it’s killing him.

Twist and Shout by gabriel, standbyme [Explicit, 97k words] #major character death

What begins as a transforming love between Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak in the summer of 1965 quickly derails into something far more tumultuous when Dean is drafted in the Vietnam War. Though the two both voice their relationship is one where saying goodbye is never a real truth, their story becomes fraught with the tragedy of circumstance. In an era where homosexuality was especially vulnerable, Twist and Shout is the story of the love transcending time, returning over and over in its many forms, as faithful as the sea.

What Is Tomorrow Without You by sobsicles [Explicit, 93k words] #angst with a happy ending

Cas is dead, and Dean is living through hell all over again. Experiencing hell as he'd first lived it, Dean aches for peace. When Jack enters his life, it only brings him a purpose. A mission for revenge sends Dean spiraling out of control as Jack does everything in his power to help Dean, going as far as to using his power to let Dean visit Cas where he resides after death. But when Dean depends on these visits and learns a few things about how he truly feels for Cas, the line between what's real and what's not starts to blur. Dealing with grief and his need for revenge, Dean struggles to find a way to get his family back together while also coming to grips that he might have to find a place in a world without Cas in it. Fortunately, Cas comes back, and Dean has to learn to navigate through the life he'd been wanting. But things aren't quite what they seem as their relationship blooms, and Dean realizes he's the reason Cas is slowly changing, and not for the better.

What Used to be Mine by someonetoanyone [Explicit, 48k words] #angst with a happy ending

“There is…” he starts; he licks his lips and glances away; his fingers twitch and fiddle, “... there is one thing she's afraid of. There's one thing strong enough to stop her.” That sounds too good to be true, so Dean waits for the other shoe to drop. It doesn’t take long. Cas at least has the wherewithal to look Dean in the eyes when he says, “when Jack was dying, I made a deal to save him.” ___ a terrible, evil AU that posits; what if the divorce arc was even worse, what if Dean never apologized in Purgatory, and what if Cas internalized all of that, making his ultimate confession less confident, though no less heartfelt, and he died thinking Dean hated him?

You Can Keep Holding On by NorthernSparrow [Explicit, 352k words] #angst with a happy ending

Hiatus fic set after the S11 finale. Dean's alive, Sam's alive, they're going to get Cas from wherever he got zapped to, and everything's finally gonna be all right. Dean's on top of the world. A little voice in the back of his head is whispering "It's never that easy," but Dean ignores it.

#asks #group rec #angst with a happy ending #unhappy ending #major character death

[aestariiwilderness]

Bad Batch -- Actually Probably Not Spoilers?

But Just In Case:

Like, for plot reasons, I see why they couldn't do it. But my biggest (and possibly the funniest) peeve I have with Bad Batch is this: Canonically, Tech is some kind of master hacker. Can forge chain codes after learning about them five seconds ago. Hacks battle droids -- presumably, you know, SECURED in some way -- on the regular. Masked a ship's signature or whatever. Calculates percentages of plans' successes on the fly while hanging upside down from a screechy flying reptile. Has zero fear (except when Omega is driving the Marauder or someone is doing the Wikipedia entry who isn't him) ("it's not affecting life support. We're fine"; riot racing; everything he's ever done). The moral heart of the Batch pre-Omega ("the systematic termination of the Jedi was a big one for me"; "I understand. I do not agree with you"; "of course we are a family"; "we have not always seen eye to eye with Crosshair but he is our brother and we do not leave our own behind"; but has no issue being pragmatic when it's called for (see: Cid, riot racing again, missions for Rex, interruptions thereof, etc.). Seriously. Wack job of a man. Crazy. Strict moral code arranged almost solely around his family that absolutely nobody sees coming and that, specifically, does NOT preclude massive destruction, property damage, and lethal measures. Ridiculous man. Homeschooled. Genetic Mandalorian. COMPETENT. (Usually.) Bona fide, literal, genetically-engineered test tube genius who is also biologically nine years old. Has no concept whatsoever of overkill. Point being -- he is EXACTLY the kind of person I would expect, once it sunk in that: 1. They are no longer Kaminoan/Republic property 2. They are, in fact, on the run with fam + new baby and - cranky but nonetheless beloved sniper bro who picked a terrible time to be stupid And 3. that "money" is now a thing they must Account For.... Give him two days to study finances, economy, and the various mafia; send him on a weekend trip to Nal Hutta to observe gangs, and hey presto -- the Hutts? overthrown in a year. Black Sun? Under new management. Pykes? A thing of the past. The Senate? Convening emergency sessions to discuss Where All the Money Has Gone. Palpatine's Secret Slush Fund #43? Drained. Hemlock's Science Budget? Currently funding the clone rebellion. ISB 401ks? Being used to pay someone to "retrieve" (read: kidnap) Crosshair from Rampart. Cad Bane's baby-stealing revenue? Currently outfitting the Marauder with gold plating. My point: WHY ISN'T TECH HACKING STAR WARS ATMs Story would have been over six episodes in. Tech would have foreclosed on the Palace; the Death Star would have fallen prey to insurance fraud; Omega would have grown up with more gowns than Padme. The Banking Clan bows to their new and, uh, eccentric overlords. Wrecker has thirteen new Z-6 cannons. Echo has thirteen natborn employees and is thoroughly enjoying himself. Hunter took an actual shower (still didn't get a new bandana). The Empire is turning over the empty coffers and shaking them out, wondering if they have rats. Mas Amedda is standing on street corners with an upturned hat. Crosshair is happily occupied with suing the Kaminoans for emotional damages. The end

#tbb spoilers #just in case #tbb tech #tbb #tbb crosshair #tbb hunter #tbb omega #funny #star wars #the bad batch #bad batch season 3 #the bad batch season 2 #the bad batch season 1 #tbb echo #clone force 99 #tbb wrecker #alternate universe #how it should have gone honestly #mywildernesspost

[lonepantheress]

♡ txt as summer jobs

pairing: ot5!txt

genre: crack

warnings: completely unserious.

a/n: my inspiration? work has been kicking my ass and i thought it'd be funny if a shitty summer job kicked their ass too! will be updating with a REAL FIC so soon

Yeonjun

Works everywhere and is somehow always broke

It starts to freak you out

Like you see him as your cashier getting ice cream

And then he’s stocking shelves at the store and you’re like, “Oh, that’s weird..”

And then he’s your waiter at a restaurant

And you’re like, “?????”

He’s all cute and nice and hates his job(s) and is like, “I’m saving for a car!”

But he can blow through a paycheck in like a week. 

If he’s your coworker omg I could imagine him being the coolest person ever.

Willing to pick up shifts, is fun to talk to when it isn’t busy, and gets shit done when it is.

I don’t see him being like the manager type, but the type that all the managers love even when he’s being super lazy just because he’s charming.

Soobin

Really sweet barista at Starbucks 

The type that you run and tell your friends about after you see him because he’s so attractive and so nice

He hates his job though.

I could see him not being a manager but instead being a “team leader” which is basically a manager in training wheels.

Always stressed. Always saying, “I think I’m going to quit soon”

His ass is NOT quitting soon

Like- if he quit, his coworkers would probably cry

Constantly cleaning because he’s constantly knocking things over.

Any embarrassing customer experience? He can safely say he’s had it

Really good at saving his money well

Like… suspiciously good.

Beomgyu

Works at like Forever 21 or something

And using “work” here loosely because he never shows up

How he isn’t fired a month in? Who knows.

A stickler for his job title too

“Oh, so you’re like a cashier at-”

“I’m actually a style consultant.”

He’s just a cashier with a fancy name.

He will hide in between clothing racks and play on his phone or chit-chat with someone else

And if he’s on register, he’s really not paying attention to his surroundings

“Hi, are you able to check me out?”

“What..”

“Like, can I pay here?”

“OH, YES, RIGHT! I WORK HERE!”

Will tell customers all the workarounds and codes and coupons they can stack without them even having to ask.

His giving out company secrets will probably get him fired before him never doing his job.

Taehyun

Works at some fast food spot and wins management over in like a week.

So efficient, so smart, so practical, he gets promoted in record time

the embodiment of this meme I'm sorry

He’s genuinely very good at his job and not necessarily proud of it, just good at it.

And he’s only so good because he uses common sense.

The old ladies that come in love him and are like, “You remind me of someone I knew when I was in high school!”

Will not cover any shifts for the LIFE of him, he would actually prefer you call out before asking him to cover your shift for you

He’d also be so annoying to couponers. It’d basically become a battle of who knows the company policy better

GOD at saving money. Has a 401k and retirement and college fund.

Kai

Game stop employee

Like if you’re buying a game that he knows, you’re stuck for another half hour listening to him talk about it

He gets in trouble for stashing away things that get sold out quickly for himself

He’s actually so sweet to the nerdy little kids in the store

But he also would tell their parents, “This game has a lot of violence and gore btw!!!!!” before they buy it for their kid

As a coworker would have the most fucked up inconsistent schedule

Shows up every day for 2 weeks in a row

And then disappears

And then shows up every day again and you’re like “hello???”

Would initiate the oddest small talk ever while the store is empty

“Do you ever wonder if a little pebble in your shoe is actually your toe rolling around?”

“No….”

“Yeah, me neither.”

#txt headcanons #txt imagines #txt scenarios #txt fluff #txt x reader #beomgyu #beomgyu fluff #beomgyu headcanons #beomgyu scenarios #beomgyu x reader #hueningkai imagines #huening kai #hueningkai #hueningkai angst #hueningkai drabble #hueningkai headcanons #hueningkai fluff #hueningkai scenarios #hueningkai x reader #soobin imagines #soobin #soobin angst #soobin fanfic #soobin fluff #soobin x reader #soobin scenarios #yeonjun x reader #yeonjun angst #yeonjun fanfic #yeonjun fluff

[missmeinyourbones]

TO LOVE IS TO BE LOVED (TOUYA x READER) 

part 6 of the series: to love is to…

"And what kind of madness is it, anyway, to be in love with something constitutionally unable of loving you back?

Are you sure—one would like to ask—that it cannot love you back?” 

- Bluets, Maggie Nelson

“We can’t keep doing this.”

The words are not new—to you or from him. Tonight, they cut through the silence that rocks you to sleep in the midnights of your bedroom.

Your phone read a blurry 2:41 AM when the familiar rhythmic knock on your window pulled you from your slumber. Touya crawled through the half-open sill with ease. No words were exchanged when he tracked his clunky boots across your home. Dirty and soiled with mud and guilt alike. 

The routine had unfolded as it usually does, seamlessly and like the back of your hand. Touya throws his shoes clumsily by your door and sits wordlessly as you pick and prod at the newer burns and cuts decorating his face. He doesn’t say anything when you reheat your dinner leftovers and put them on a plate in front of him. And you don't say anything when he goes to shower and you hear him emptying his stomach into the toilet. 

It's normal, it's your normal, and while it isn't ideal, it's him. You don't care how it is, you just care that it is. 

And now in bed, Touya utters ther recognizable words as he fights off sleep in a guilty haze. 

“We can’t keep doing this.”

After a moment of his words lingering in the open air, he feels your voice vibrate his side, “M’not having this conversation again. Go to sleep.”

“I can’t keep doing this to you,” he persists, voice devoid of any emotion though you know he feels anything but barren. 

With a sigh, your head is lifted from his side and finds its home resting on top of his torso. Your ear pressed against his stomach, you can hear his insides digesting what’s left inside of him. It's a bittersweet reminder that he’s alive; tangible and real according to all of your senses. 

“You’re not doing anything to me,” you gently remind him. 

“I’m ruining you,” he repeats the script he always finds himself reciting, “by letting you love me.”

When I know I’m gonna leave, he wants to scream. When I know I'm dying.

“Touya,” you breathe, and he winces. The name is new, to your lips and to his ears. “You don’t know anything,” your words seem to answer his thoughts.

“I know you probably deserve someone normal,” he spits out the word like it's venomous on his tongue. “Some bitch of a businessman with a 401k who can hold down the hot meal you make em’ without throwing it up.”

His eyes aren’t on you, but instead focus on the speckled drywall of your ceiling. He exhales and you watch the grey smoke slip from his mouth like a ghost, the cigarette in his hand held far away from you as he clicks the ash against your bed frame. 

“Deserve someone who doesn't show up at your window in the middle of the night all bloody and filthy. Someone who can at least pay you fuckin’ rent if they cant give you a place of their own.”

You hate the way he thinks about things. How he views this, the love for him you refuse to tuck beneath your pillow, as an exchange of goods or a favor you decide to spare him. 

You pluck the cigarette from his hand and press it against the edge of your window. Touya doesn't resist, but his eyes flicker to where the end of the stick glows red between your fingertips. 

“You’re always talking about what I deserve,” you note. “Have you ever wondered what I want?”

He pauses in thought.

“Don’t know why you’d want anything fuckin’ less than that when you—”

“I want,” you interrupt, “to love you, how I am right now.” 

Your hand finds his cheek and gently turns it to face you. 

“I want to hear you come in through the window on rainy nights and track your ugly boots through the hallway. And I want to clean up the mess the next morning. And I want to cook for you and watch you eat it because even though it’s short-lived, it still fills your stomach.” 

Touya feels the building of tears that can never come beneath his lashes as he watched your eyes scan his face with adoration. 

“Because it’s you, and it feels like you. And if this is how I’m able to get you, then I’ll take it ten times over.”

A kiss is placed on his lips; it tastes of ash and mint and love, and though he should know what the latter tastes like, he overwhelmingly does. 

“Because I want to,” you whisper with a smile, one that Touya can barely see through the dark but ignites him like the sun all the same. 

“You’re so fuckin’ weird,” he whispers into your mouth.

If anything, your smile grows. “Thank you.” 

Your head is returned to his chest with ease and he can’t help but scoff at the situation at hand. His hand finds refuge in your hair and its the softest thing he’s ever known. 

“There’s somethin’ seriously wrong with you.”

“Don’t care,” you retaliate with ease. He feels a kiss on the scarring of his chest before you speak up once more. 

“So just shut up,” kiss, “let me love you,’ kiss, “and go the fuck to sleep.” Kiss, kiss, kiss.

The lack of light in the room doesn't seem as intimidating as it was a few moments ago. If anything, it feels comforting. Like a blanket that can shield his childish blush and contrary scowl. 

“And if you hate the window so much,” your hushed voice is the last thing Touya hears that night, “just use the spare key next time.”

#to love is to... #touya todoroki #touya x reader #dabi x reader #touya fic #dabi fic #touya x you #dabi x you #touya angst #dabi angst #touya fluff #dabi fluff #bnha x reader

[bakuliwrites]

Work Hard, Play Hard- Kento Nanami x Reader

Rating: 18+ (MINORS DNI)

Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen

Relationship: Kento Nanami x Reader

Summary: Nanami is working overtime, until he sees a text from you that he can't resist.

Tags: PIV, Oral, Brief s*xting, Kitchen S*x.

A/N: OhmyGod, Kento Nanami. I haven't fallen this hard for a fictional character in a hot minute. He looks like an accountant with drip. He would do my taxes for me and it would be the hottest thing ever. He's probably paid off his mortgage, has a 401k, and a designated spot in his house for his keys and briefcase. I bet you he knows how to fold a fitted sheet and tuck the corners into the bed. This man is immaculate and I am here for it. Expect more Kento Nanami content from me because I'm a thirsty disaster. As always, thank you for reading! Likes/reblogs are always much appreciated! Lots of love <3

Read here in this post or over on my AO3.

Kento leans his head back, a deep sigh escaping his lips. He eyes the clock, watching as the second hand moves like molasses past each number. Overtime sucks. Work sucks. All he wants is to go home, to be in the comfort of your presence, and to enjoy a quiet evening, just the two of you. But instead, he’s stuck here, trapped in this corporate world until he’s finished his goddamn work. 

He straightens up again. Maybe if he powers through, he can go home in the next half an hour. The harsh light from the computer screen stabs at his eyes. The office is empty aside from him, dead quiet except for the occasional clack of his keyboard and the bloop from the water tank in the far corner. He’s about to get up to make himself another cup of coffee when he feels his phone buzz in his pocket. It must be you, asking where he is and when he’s going to be home. He pulls his cellphone from his pocket, exhausted gaze sweeping over the screen. But when he unlocks it, his eyes fly wide open. 

The picture that greets him is you in an apron, and nothing but an apron. The apron ties frame the curve of your hips. Your breasts threaten to spill out of your minimal clothing, and you’ve got a little smudge of flour on your cheek. The longer he stares at the picture, the more Kento wonders if it’s worth finishing up his work. Then he reads the text underneath.

You better come home soon, or I’m going to start without you ;), you threaten. 

“Fuck overtime,” Kento mutters to himself, shoving his phone back in his pocket and grabbing his coat. He’s hauling ass to get home. He can finish his work later. He’s got much better things to do right now. Traffic on the way feels like it’s against him. The strain of his growing bulge in his pants is getting painful. He’s desperate now to get home to you, to lift up the hem of that apron of yours and bury himself inside you. He’s never one to look at his phone while driving. Safety always comes first. But he’s awfully tempted. And with how long this drive is taking, he’s even more tempted. 

What feels like hours pass and then, dear God, he’s finally home. Kento pulls into the driveway and barely waits for his car to come to a stop before he’s leaping out and bounding up the front steps. The house is cozy and smells pleasantly of warm bread baking in the oven. 

“Kento?” he hears your voice call out as he drops off his keys and briefcase in their designated spot in the hallway. And then he sees you, peeking around the corner in the kitchen, a mischievous look in your eye. 

“What happened to your overtime?” you tease, twirling a strand of your hair around your index finger. 

“No more overtime from this moment forward,” he returns matter-of-factly, tugging off his coat and striding confidently towards you. Before you can even say a word, his lips are crashing into yours, kisses sloppy and hungry. His large hands rove rapaciously along your body, kneading the tender flesh of your hips. 

“I missed you today,” you whimper at him when he allows you a moment to breathe. 

“Hmmm,” he hums pleasantly, suckling your neck and luxuriating in the tiny moans you’re letting out, “I missed you, too.” 

You tug at his leopard-print tie, pulling him towards the dining table. The look he gives you is deliciously pathetic, wanton and needy. His brows are furrowed and the angles of his cheeks are flushed. When the small of your back hits the edge of the table, you stop and start to undo his belt. 

“Baby, this must hurt,” you coo, palming his bulge and watching as his eyes flutter shut, “No wonder you hurried home.”

Kento smirks as he masterfully rips off his tie with one hand, the other occupied with grabbing handfuls of your ass. His lips are back to pressing messy kisses to yours. His tongue traces your teeth, exploring the familiar warmth of your mouth. With his belt off, you manage to undo his buttons and yank down his trousers and boxer briefs. They pool around his feet and out springs his cock, the tip angry and pink. 

“So needy, my love,” you hum, cupping his balls and massaging, before teasingly dragging your fingertip along the underside of his shaft. He shivers under your touch, an unintentional husky keen escaping his lips. With the pad of your thumb, you smear the little bead of cum that’s formed at his tip. But before you can go any further, he stays your hand, deep brown eyes dead serious as they gaze into yours. 

“Wait,” he begins, voice low and commanding, “Allow me.” 

Kento gently picks you up, sitting you atop the kitchen table. He lifts the hem of your apron, revealing your already soaking folds to the cool air. All he wants is to taste you, to feel you glide along his tongue. He’s thought about it his whole ride home: your wet pussy against his lips. Your sweet succor on his taste buds. After the day he’s had, it’s all he can think of to relieve his stress. 

“Spread your legs a little wider for me, princess,” he begs, kneeling to the ground. You follow his instructions and let him pull you closer to the edge of the table. Kento Nanami buries his handsome face between your legs, trailing kisses along the sensitive flesh of your inner thighs. His warm breath fans against your heat as he glances up at you to make sure you’re ready. You nod quietly, watching as he dives in. His tongue swipes up your slick, nose bumping against your clit, sending electric tingles through your body. His hands grasp at the supple flesh of your hips, kneading as his tongue darts in and out of your entrance. You throw your head back, letting out a salacious moan as Kento expertly eats you out. Your fingers tangle in his blonde hair, each gilded strand soft against your skin. 

“Ah! Kento,” you whine, heat blooming across your face, “You’re so good to me.” 

His hum reverberates through your body and he draws his attention away from your entrance. His tongue swirls deftly around your clit, languid at first, teasingly slow. You gently rock your hips in time with his motions, one hand still tangled in his hair, the other cupping your left breast. It drives Kento wild when you play with your tits while he’s busy with your heat. You catch him glancing up at you, one of his hands leaving your hip so he can stroke himself. 

“Kento, I’m so close,” you whimper, feeling the fire in your core burn brighter. He picks up his pace, tongue circling faster, each flick bringing you closer and closer to ecstasy. 

“Come for me, princess,” his husky voice commands when he leans back for air, before diving in once again, this time relentlessly circling your clit. Your hips rock faster as Kento’s tongue works its magic. With a cry of his name, the fire in you bursts like a supernova, and you come undone. Kento’s hands grip your hips, keeping you in place so he can finish you off properly. He laps you up like the sweetest elixir he’s ever tasted, luxuriating in your ecstasy. 

He could probably kneel there all evening, head buried between your thighs, drinking in your scent, your taste. He looks content as his tongue swipes along you, but this has only fueled your desire to feel him inside you. You draw him up, hungrily capturing his lips in yours. He tastes of you as he presses wet, sloppy kisses to you. 

“Take me, Kento. Please, ” you mewl, hand finding its way to his cock. 

“Ah, baby,” he grunts as you stroke his erection, feeling it already pulse in your warm hand, “That’s all I’ve wanted, all day.” 

With this, he flips you over, pressing your breasts and stomach to the surface of the table. 

“Are you ready?” he asks, always polite, always waiting for consent. 

“Yes, my love,” you beg, the table top chilly against your naked, overheated skin. And with this, Kento slides easily into you, your heat slick with arousal. He groans as he sheathes himself in you, staying for a moment to allow you to adjust to his girth. And when you’re ready, he pulls back just a little before savagely slamming back in. The angle is absolute perfection. He’s probably mapped it out mathematically, you chuckle to yourself. Kento knows your body well. As he thrusts deeper, the coil in you tightens. 

“Such a good girl,” Kento praises, his voice mingling with the lewd slapping of skin, “You take me so well.” 

“Kento, baby, you spoil me,” you return, hands gripping the sides of the table as it rocks. The legs creak with each powerful thrust and stars begin to dot your vision. Kento’s cock twitches inside you and you can feel his pace becoming erratic. 

And Kento can feel your walls quaking around him. He’s not sure when he ripped your apron off, but it’s gone now, discarded on the floor, your body bare to him. His hands grab at your ass, squeeze and massage as he slams into you. He’s so close, he can feel it, as he stares in awe at your body.  

“You’re so beautiful,” he breathes, adoration dripping from every word he speaks. 

“You’re amazing, Kento,” you return, reverence in the way you sing his name. All worries from the day, all stresses and troubles are forgotten as Kento is brought to euphoria by your body. Fuck overtime. Fuck work. Fuck it all. All he needs is you. 

“Kento!” you cry out, on the verge of tipping over the edge. With the sound of his name falling from your lips, the coil in Kento Nanami breaks. His hips grind without pace against you, his seed spilling into your core, hot and pleasant. As your beloved comes undone, so do you, each nerve in your body alight with pleasure. Your walls tighten around him, begging for him to release everything he has into you. It’s intoxicating.

The table gives one final, tragic creak as Kento collapses. His lips trail kisses up and down your back while you press a deep, lingering one to the palm of his hand. Breathless, the two of you pause, allowing yourselves to settle from the high. Kento remains inside you, catching his breath, while you grip the table, trying to steady your heart. When he finally pulls out, you feel his cum drip down your thigh, sticky and hot. He’s quick to retrieve a towel for you and help clean you up. Kento, ever a gentleman. When you turn around, Kento’s satisfied face greets you. His hair is disheveled, strands of blonde hanging limply before his eyes. He’s a right, simpering mess and it's glorious. 

Gently, you push him into a nearby chair, wanting some time to cuddle and luxuriate in his warm embrace. He obliges, pulling you into his lap, pressing soft kiss after soft kiss to the top of your head. 

“Was that worth giving up on your overtime?” you question, chuckling softly. He grunts, fingers absentmindedly trailing down your spine. 

“You are always worth giving up on overtime,” his deep voice returns. He lifts your chin up to look you in the eye. His dark irises glimmer with their usual quiet joy and the deep angles of his cheeks soften in this rosy afterglow. He smiles softly at you before drawing you in for a passionate kiss. He lingers for a while, peppering your jaw with more tiny kisses before wrapping his arms around you once again. 

“I needed that. Thank you,” he goes on as you nuzzle against him.

“You don’t have to thank me, my darling,” you respond, smiling, “Your work is stressful. You deserve to release that tension and have some fun.” 

He lets out a soft sigh through his nose and allows his eyelids to flutter shut.

“I love you,” he whispers. You lean up, once again laying your lips to his.

“I love you, too,” you return. Silence passes over the two of you for a while, each content in quietly enjoying the other's presence. Nights like this with Kento are nights you will always cherish. It’s nice to see him come undone. To not be so put together and uptight. Though you love that about him, you also love how wild he can be, when he wants to be. 

It’s the jarring beeping of the oven that draws you out of this cozy moment.

“Oh! The bread!” you exclaim, leaping off of your beloved’s lap and dashing towards the oven. Kento laughs as he gathers up all the discarded clothing on the floor. Definitely worth skipping overtime for this, he thinks to himself.

#jujutsu kaisen #kento nanami #nanami kento #nanami kento x you #nanami kento x reader #nanami kento x y/n #jjk #jjk fanfic #dani writes #my fanfiction #spicy

[florencemtrash]

The Wisp Between Worlds

CHAPTER ONE: BLACK WATERS

Acotar fanfic/rewrite. Inner Circle x OC. Eventual Azriel x OC.

Summary: Have you ever wondered what you would do (and do differently) if you found yourself trapped in the fantasy world of your dreams? For Nora, this fantasy of hers is about to play out when she finds herself portaled away to the Moral Lands south of Prythian. But all is not as it seems. Feyre Archeron is missing and the deadline to break Amarantha’s curse draws near. Who will save Prythian now?

Warnings: None for this chapter that I can think of, but expect angst, death, and sadness in the future.

Masterlist

________________

She needed to get outside. Callahan Barge was too tall, too sweaty, and too business casual for the kind of night she wanted to be having. Makeup swam down her skin cutting brilliant blue rivers down the tan of her cheeks. When she’d last caught a look at herself in the dusty bathroom mirror she’d been shocked and intrigued at the wide, kohl-lined eyes that stared out from beneath the glitter and paint. Lauren had decked her out in a skimpy, shimmering black dress, fish-net stockings, and the accompanying makeup to “let her live out her party fairy fantasies.” After all, she deserved to dress the part for her first Halloween as a 21-year-old. But that well-deserved fantasy took a hit when Callahan, cosplaying as an aspiring accountant (as per usual), started flirting with her at the bar.  

“Why don’t I buy you a drink?” his perfect white teeth gleamed in the UV light of the club glowing almost as brightly as the white button-down shirt he wore.

“I’ve got one already.” She stared directly in his eyes, taking a sip of the fruity mocktail the bartender had shaken up for her. He eyed the drink in her hands and she raised her eyebrow, daring him to make a comment. She was the designated driver for the night and the strongest liquid currently sloshing around in her cup was lemonade, but he didn’t need to know that.

“A second drink then?”

“No.”

He fiddled with his wrist watch, visibly flustered. “So about your thesis-” He began, desperately trying to spark a conversation.

“I have to go find my friends.”

“Oh right,” he pushed back his golden waves, “well hey, if you’re free after-”

Nora ducked behind the body of a passing security guard who’d been alerted to the sound of retching towards the right of the bar. Slipping nimbly through the crowd she tried to ignore the prodding of elbows and the occasional misplaced grinding of hips. Callahan was a nice guy, the kind that would have a position at Goldman Sachs by January and a 401k set up by May. The problem was he didn’t seem to understand why being randomly partnered with Nora for a creative writing assignment was enough grounds for a relationship. 

Fuck this. Nora thought to herself after five minutes of circling the lower and upper levels of the club. It would be impossible to find Lauren and Garett in this crowd and calling was pointless. The music raged from the speakers so loudly she could feel the bass rattling her bones.

She made her way towards the back doors, pressing against the sticky handle and sighing when the rush of cold, autumn air whisked the moisture from her skin. The wind carried the scent of the sea across the boardwalk. She breathed it in, having forgotten what air smelled like when it hadn’t been circulated through hundreds of drunken, jerking bodies. 

I’ll be outside for a bit. Let me know when you guys are ready to leave. 

With a whoosh the message was sent and she tucked the phone back into her pocket, wrapped her arms around herself, and made her way down to the pier. 

Aside from the handful of people smoking around the lamp post’s pool of light and the couple grappling at one another on a bench, the pier was empty. Nora kept her head down to give them all their privacy and walked to the edge, staring out at the inky black waters. She couldn’t see three feet past where the last lamp post feebly flickered, but she heard the licking of waves against the rocks, growling and slurping like some hungry creature.

Salt opened up her airways, leaving its distinct taste in her mouth and a faint burn in her lungs. It was in moments like this where she let herself wonder, truly wonder, about what would happen if she simply stepped over the edge and let herself get swallowed up.

You’d probably break your legs against the rocks you idiot. 

The thought of flailing about in the cold waters waiting for someone like Callahan to fish her out like a wet rat made her cringe.

I’d never actually do it. Stupid Freudian death drive.

It was just something she wondered about. What if there was something that was waiting for her? What if she was just wasting time waiting for the big thing to come along?

And what would that big thing be? 

Who knows.

And if it never comes?

Shut it.

Nora scolded her midnight thoughts. This was supposed to be a night of mindless fun and dancing and here she was standing alone in the cold being philosophical. But just as she turned away from the water a gust of wind brushed up against her back. No, not the wind… something else. A presence hovered over her shoulder, calming but unfamiliar as it traced down her spine. 

She froze, too scared to scream and too curious to move. Squinting her eyes she couldn’t make out any figures on the boardwalk or along the pier. She was alone.

Before she could make the executive decision to start sprinting back to the club, she heard it. Faint whispers curled around her ears, wrapping her in phantom arms until she could no longer feel the chill. Through the dozens of voices that called out to her in a mess of sounds and unintelligible words, one stood out. 

Low and silky and sensitive it asked, Where are you? Tell me where you are. Please.

Nora blinked.

The boardwalk faded away from her. She could still catch the faint outlines of the lamp post and railings, but more concretely she saw a room. Thick black curtains drifted along some invisible wind framing a brilliant city beyond that glowed like a thousand candles. The night sky was so crisp and clear she could make out every star.

She blinked again, readjusted her contacts, and it was gone. She was still on the pier alone and her vulnerability sent a shiver down her spine. 

The presence remained with her, breathing down her neck. She still couldn’t decide if she was afraid or not.

Wait… Run. RUN! The voice commanded her, barely a whisper in her ear despite the urgency of its words. 

Somewhere in the water far beyond where the light could reach, she felt a stirring, like the earth was rolling onto its side beneath her feet. A loud, low moan pulsed through the air and the pier’s wooden beams groaned in turn, protesting whatever force had begun to bend and snap them like toothpicks. 

Nora turned on her heels and started to run.

Fifty meters later and she was cursing her body, feeling the warmth in her legs build as she forced them to go faster. Breathe along to your favorite song, Nora. Dad had said that to her before every cross country race in high school. She was a shit runner then and she was a shit runner now. 

God I wish I kept running in college.

Another beam closer to her broke with a scream and Nora was thrown to the ground, landing awkwardly on stinging hands and knees as the water split open and began swallowing the pier. Like a beast it chomped at the wood, slurping the contents down into its throat. She dared a glance behind her and gasped as cracks formed along the surface of the ocean, blue-white light spilling outward. 

Scrambling to her feet she continued to run feeling the ground beneath her tilt further and further backward. The cracks deepened, crashing against wood. With a final sigh the last of the beams beneath her feet gave away, sinking into the mouth of the blue chasm below.

Nora screamed, lunging to the side to avoid the spear of wood that erupted by her legs. Cold water drenched her clothes, weighing her down as she was plunged into the frothy, glowing water. 

The pier had snapped in two. 

What are you doing you fucking idiot? Scream. She thought to herself. But even though she screamed, first in fear and then in frustration, no one heard her.

Nora gasped as the blue light finally reached her, wrapping around her body. She wished she had the mind to appreciate its beauty, but all she could think about was the terror that fueled her muscles to keep swimming, even as the current dragged her further down.

“HELP!” 

She begged anyone who might still be on the pier. She prayed to God, pleaded with the voice that had tried to warn her. 

No one’s coming to help. No one could help even if they wanted to.

Nora looked back, helpless as the water consumed her.

When her body had sunk beneath the depths - deeper than anyone could fathom - the portal sealed itself and there was nothing left but the ruined pier and the silent lamp posts as witnesses.

________________

Author’s Note: Hi! As the summary already mentions, this is going to be an acotar rewrite with an OC that’s really just a cooler, more competent version of myself that I like to insert into every book I read. It’s been over a year since I finished reading the main trilogy so apologies if I don’t get the plot/plot elements exactly right (but also I might change the plot to better suit the story). I don’t know how many chapters this will be yet, but I have a small chunk of it already written and am hoping to get some regular posting schedule worked out. Thanks for reading this little blurb and I hope you enjoy! 

#acotar #acotar rewrite #a court of thorns and roses #inner circle x oc #Azriel x OC #acotar fanfiction #azriel shadowsinger #shadowsinger #basically writing myself into a book because why not #this is what fanfiction is for #I want to believe I would survive in the ACOTAR universe #azriel x human reader #azriel x reader

[batslime]

Hi guys it’s been a while since I’ve made one of these but this is Vicki and she owns the ONE and ONLY lesbian bar/ restaurant in Florida, The Lady’s Room, and it’s at risk of closing. She’s tried getting a loan but the banks are refusing despite her good credit. I’ve made a few posts like these that got some great traction, I would love to see Vicki get the support she needs too 🙏🏼

Please consider donating to her GoFundMe!

Currently she’s at $12,203 of her $100k goal (Tuesday April 18, 2023).

Please spread! If you can’t donate atm the next best thing is to boost.

Video transcription under cut

VIDEO TRANSCRIPTION:

Vicki, a butch lesbian, wearing a black jersey sporting rainbow stripes and embroidery reading “love is love” across the left breast, is leaning against a counter with her tattooed arms crossed. A pride flag hangs behind her in what is presumably her bar. The piercings on her face ride the knit of her concerned brow as she speaks. “A month, maybe two, then it’s on the market. I don’t have a choice; I’ve sold all my properties, I’ve emptied my 401k; I’ve tried banks, I’ve tried finance companies…”

“I went in, I said, you know, I wanna take out a loan to invest in my bar, and they said, we can’t do it. Okay, I have 7+ credit score, I own my cars. I own my home… what the Hell.”

“They won’t touch it. I don’t know if it’s because it’s a lesbian bar, but that’s what it felt like.”

The caption “We have one month to save Florida’s only lesbian bar!” is overlaid the video for its duration.

End transcription.

(This is the first time I’ve written a video transcription, I tried to keep in mind what I would find helpful but please lmk what I could do better if you have any suggestions)

#gofundme #go fund me #lesbian #lesbian bar #lgbt #lgbtq #crowdfunding #community action #florida #florida lgbt #gay bar #southern lgbt #i never rly know how to tag these. #donate #donation #help

[manufactoredxbyxdesign]

" Hey! Trenchcoat! " Oh god, she's back. Doe's voice precedes her presence, echoing through the empty hallways of R.P.D. in tandem with the light thuds of her footsteps. 

Doesn't this survivor have better things to do? Scratch that, probably not, all things considered. Pathetic as it may sound, the Entity hasn't exactly outfitted the Realm with much in the way of entertainment outside of each other and the trials. Really, would it kill Her to make a playground or something? It might save the killers a bit of annoyance. 

" There you are! The others said I'll find you here," Traitors. Still, at least on the surface, Doe's expression seemed to be anything but malicious. No, the smugness that Wesker had previously witnessed throughout their many brief interactions was all but absent and, with it, any sense of playfulness gone. She seemed sheepish, if not outright nervous. 

" Could you be honest with me for a second?" A dangerous request, at least where Wesker is considered. She seems aware of this, to an extent, not holding eye-contact, or eye-to-sunglasses contact in their case, for more than a second. " You know the big blue guy, lots of tentacles, looks a bit like you— those things that follow him around. The Shamblers, are those actually... human? " Her voice cuts off on a high note, uncertain in her words, at least if the peak of her eyebrows is any indication. " Like people-human? Walking around, news watching, having a day job and 401K— family-type people? Not test-tube people." 

Turning her focus down to her hands, she starts wringing them roughly, her skin turning an enflamed red where her nails scratched. 

" There's this new guy at the campfire. He's been telling us stories about the world he came from, and the blue guy and I—" her voice shrinks further, sounding uncharacteristically small. " I'm not entirely sure what to think about it— I figured you'd know about it,"

The instant he hears that voice a loud sigh escapes his lips. Without even turning around he knows exactly who it is that has decided to scamper in to disrupt his peace this afternoon.

He refrains from commenting on her revelations - though he wonders if the ones that sent her might have done it out of malice instead of genuine kindness. Is it possible to direct one to the lair of a monster and have it be kind? He considers it like a riddle, momentarily distracted as she speaks in front of him.

"You are referring to Nemesis T-Type." He bluntly retorts, knowing by about halfway through her creative description which of the killers she is attempting to describe.

"He is a T-103 Tyrant - meaning that he was developed to be an bio-organic weapon in the world I came from. The viral strain he inflicts upon you in the trials is the T-Viral strain. Typically, the "shamblers" as you call them would be a result of that infection. As the strain can result in infected subjects reanimating or mutating... Though it appears that The Entity limits him to controlling only a the select few that are summoned in trials."

A small scoff cuts through his words at that. As if he finds the limitation almost childish in a way.

"I do not know if they were people previously - though it is quite possible. There was an outbreak of that particular strain in Racoon City many years ago. Leaving opportunity for The Entity to collect them for her purposes."

The corner of his mouth twitches. Another at the campfire? It felt like every other month someone new was dragged in.

"Does this "new" survivor have a name?"

#- - (ic) #dcwnthercbbithcle

[barovianchickenandwaffles]

Retaking BCnW: A Barovian Tale

(Recovered from Twitter with minor editorial updates, also dedicated @bluetspur-brain)

So, here I was in the village of Barovia after being gone for so long on a business trip to Sithicus that went south. The streets of Barovia were empty, rain came down in sheets, and it was silent as a grave. Then, I heard a brief yelp coming from inside my old shop. Nothing but darkness in there waiting for me.

The dead corpse lying in my parking lot was nothing new, but part of his skull was missing and I knew who was responsible. Gary. The High Master Illithid.

A voice invaded my mind. “Back so soon, Oleksii?”

So much for the element of surprise. A showdown was inevitable. I clutched my silvered spatula, and then my hand felt for the loaded crossbow. I’d only get one shot at this.

I am a pretty quick shot, but Gary … anticipates things somehow.

I stepped from the light outside into the shadowy interior. A couple peasants sat by one table chewing their food slowly, their blank stares never registering my presence. A body was slumped over another booth, lifeless.

Okay, so the shop wasn’t in complete disarray.

Behind the counter was Gary, tentacles gripping another peasant by the skull firmly. A terrible slurping sound, another agonized yelp, and then it was over. Gary dropped the body like a ragdoll.

“Welcome back,” I heard a calm voice in my mind.

Gary’s face was slick with cerebral fluid, facial tentacles writhing greedily in the eerie lighting. “I’ve been minding the store as you can see.”

It was then that I noticed that Gary hadn’t updated the seasonal menu in weeks.

“Gary, where is my Mordorhubu delivery team?”

The Illithid flinched. “Ah yes, the elf, human and halfling. They resisted my management style and I had to put them on write up. When they threatened to form a union, I made short work of them. The elf was quite tasty.”

“You ate all three?” I growled as I whirled behind a pillar, and stealthily drew the crossbow.

“No, I fired the human and werewolves got to him later. The halfling is washing dishes. I was going to save him for later,” came a casual reply.

“You fool, you have no idea what you’ve done,” It’d take weeks to hire more gullible adventures.

“On the contrary,” said the haughty voice in my mind, “I’ve been restructuring this ailing franchise. You should thank me.”

My mind was flooded with strange eldritch imagery: supply chain management, strategic planning, market segmentation, and the most blasphemous word of all: benchmarking.

“Enough!” I begged. I whirled around and took my shot.

Gary was ready. The Illithid’s beady eyes locked onto me from behind the counter, while the bulbous head shifted out of the way just in time as the shot zipped past and ricocheted off a hanging pot in the kitchen.

Miss.

I dove toward the near side of the counter and drew the kitchen knife with the old Barovian runes on it. The ones that drink the darkness and sate for blood.

I leapt up to attack but Gary had been ready. A rainbow colored cone of energy blasted my mind.

I collapsed to the ground, knife clattering to the floor, my mind seized with pain.

“Allow me to present my business strategy, Oleksii,” Gary chuckled eagerly.

Unfortunate for Gary, I rolled a nat20 on my next INT save.

I dashed for the knife, snatched it, and whirled around. The blow was deflected and the Illithid lunged at me. I blocked tentacles with my free arm just in time.

“Your babusya can’t save you, Oleksii,” the voice gloated, “I want a raise, a 401k, and paid time off.”

“Fine.”

Gary got his benefits, profits increased by 8%, and the halfling stuck around until he got caught stealing from the till to feed his ragweed habit. I let Gary take care of the offboarding process.

And then we all learned the True Meaning of Strahdmas or something. The end.

End credits scene: As the fight rages on, a kender, who stowed away on the cart all the way from Sithicus, emerges from under the covers. Surveying this new land it grins curiously, leaps off the cart and runs into the night.

#barovia #life in barovia #ravenloft #dnd #d&d #ttrpg #barovian tales #tumblrloft #strahdmas #barovian chicken and waffles

[alyjojo]

May 😽 2023 Monthly - Capricorn

Whole of your energy: 2 Pentacles

Your meditation was a giant roller coaster, extremely high and FAST, and the theme park you were in was pretty empty. You kept riding it over and over again, with so much enthusiasm. After every ride, I’d ask “are you okay?” and you’d thumbs up and ride it again with just as much excitement. After about 10 times, you were feeling pretty ill, you had people hyping you up to do it again and you just couldn’t take it anymore. Timing, Intuition, Death, 10 Swords rev and 10 Cups are all endings. You already know something is ending, or has ended, and you’re weighing your options for what will make your family happy, the best choice for everyone involved, whatever 10 Cups is for you. The happiest outcome.

What’s going on in May:

Ace of Wands:

This is a new beginning that makes you feel inspired & passionate towards taking action, probably out of spite, because you’re not getting the cooperation you need. Everything is on your shoulders, probably at work. If you haven’t already lost a job, it’s like your goal in life is becoming finding something better than wherever you’re at now. The person in charge is a dominating & controlling authoritarian type that oversteps his bounds and doesn’t give you any of the respect (or help) you deserve. You’re turning plans and goals over in your mind for what you intend to do about it. You’re not the only person you have to think about though, for many of you. If it were just you, there’s probably no doubt you’d act more hastily or impulsively, but some of you have families to care for. Others just have family members, siblings, parents, etc., and they don’t want to just skip town away from that. You’re tempted though. Some of you don’t have the money to live wherever your family lives, or something like that. Or your job keeps you distant, maybe literally. Money & work are your biggest issues.

The Chariot:

Your GOAL. The plan. The willpower towards an action you absolutely refuse to continue putting up with. The Chariot cannot be stopped, it’s pure ambition overcoming any obstacles in your path. That’s the plan. Could involve travel. This is for a Capricorn that…if you haven’t lost your job due to other things already, then your goal is to end this one. You are planning for the end, currently at a crossroads on how best to do this.

Death:

The end. The problem with this ending is it was probably something very stable, it keeps you feeling secure about where money is coming from, when, insurance, 401ks or whatever yours offers, I get it’s not the worst benefits. But with King of Pentacles rev, and 2 Pentacles to describe your energy, you could be milking yourself dry for this place. Working overtime, double time, not even living your life, maybe not even seeing your family, because you just live to work. And that makes you sad, that’s what you want to end. Not being on top of your financials also makes you feel very sad, and regretful, especially if you’ve lost a job that was not your doing. For those with that story, you may be having to move in with family, 4 Wands can be “homecoming”. For most I get this is just a planning stage and no action has been taken yet, you’re the one ending the situation so you’re the one in charge of it. 5 Cups shows your focus on everything you don’t have, most of it being money related. Maybe missing out on family time.

Temperance:

You’re being very patient, balanced, taking your time and not rushing anything because this is a big decision for you. If you’ve lost a job outside of your control, it’s taking time to hear anything back, or find another opportunity somewhere else. The same applies for those in planning mode, you’re just not finding what you’re looking for. Not yet. But you’re not panicking, you’re patiently trying to weave this situation with that one to come up with the best outcome for you and everyone else.

10 Swords rev:

If you had planned to move in with family, you’re not being given something. Help, most likely. Whoever you’re dealing with may not be able to afford things as much as you can’t. Plans are not working out how you’d hoped. Interviews aren’t being offered like you’d hoped. The outcome for this is no action being taken because you’re not getting the right option for you, even though this is something you’re looking for, probably daily. Weekly. Something like that. You’re ready for this cycle of work work work work - and not having any money, or anything extra anyway, to end. Some of you could be forced to move, and that’s possibly what’s not working out in the plan you’re putting together. You’re not getting any of the cooperation you need. Your Oracle cards begin with Timing, and Temperance shows a need for patience. Not yet, but eventually things will start moving how you need/want them to. For now, just coast along and try to keep your balance in this situation, because things are out of your control.

Signs you may be dealing with:

Capricorn, Aries, Virgo, Scorpio, Taurus & Sagittarius

Oracles: ✨

73 Timing

If you are in the creative flow you feel everything flowing together in Divine Order.

55 Intuition

Allow the limitless power of your unconscious mind to answer your problem by using symbols, memories, and hunches.

6 Habits

Examine habits that may impede the pathways to your goals and encourage beneficial ones.

We enter into May as:

Topaz 💛

“If I seek peace, I must embrace my fears.”

Topaz speaks: “To be enlightened is to realize that to gain peace, fear in the heart must be faced.” If Topaz has come to you, he is telling you that it is time to stop talking about what you intend on doing. You must just do it. Things happen for us when we take action, which is the only way to break through what is holding us back. The change that is called for here is surrender, which is an action in itself. No great tasks were ever achieved easily. Remember we do a lot to avoid what we feel will hurt us; you must understand that the pain will recede if you face your fears, allowing you to walk through to the other side. Topaz whispers “Pray for guidance and you will be assisted.” Do not despair, for if Topaz has come to you, relief awaits. By facing your fears, peace and enlightenment will be your reward. That is the gift. All you need to do is ask.

What is to be learned in May:

Penelope and Pickle 🥒:

“Grief...is honoring a love lost.”

Grief is a natural part of life. We must always remember to love those around us as fully as we can in the moments we have them. Grief is only love, with no place to go. This may be calling you to understand your own or someone else’s grief. Loss is personal, it comes out different in each individual. Love always comes with the risk of loss, but is important to remember that we valued a friend. Penelope & Pickle knew the value in their relationship, and it’s sad they lost each other, but the fact this love ever existed is what helps us find the strength to love again. All cycles must be completed to start over. If you choose to honor your pain, and allow all of the mourning to come, it will be life changing.

Green may be a lucky color 💚

#capricorn tarot reading #monthly reading #may 2023 #monthly #Capricorn #tarot #free reading #astroblr #tarotblr

[thebartleyeffect]

My neighbor across the street, Maxwell, breaks my balls every time that subject comes up. He's like...

"What's the big deal? You can't toss a couple items into a bag, swipe your card and leave? You're telling me that you're going to stand there in line behind four other people for the next 20 minutes who are doing their monthly groceries just so you can have a cashier ring you out?"

(We're high as fuck while we're having this conversation, by the way)

And I say to him, "Abso-GODDAMN-lutely I will! Look - I'll be perfectly happy to bag my own groceries and check myself out, but I want two - wait - make that FIVE weeks of vacation, paid holidays, overtime if it's required, and I want full health and dental benefits. And a pension, but I'll settle for a 401k."

See what's happening here? He's cranked me up and now I'm on a roll.

"When I go to a supermarket and some little girl who's young enough to be my granddaughter cheerfully points me in the direction of self-checkout, she doesn't know it yet but her day is about to get very weird.

I have told them at least three times now, different girls mind you, that I don't work for them. I am not an employee. I am a customer. I pushed my carriage around and I loaded it up all by myself, but when it comes time to check out, that's THEIR job, not mine. I DO NOT work for them.

Only two weeks ago, I went to the customer service counter to ask them to open up some more registers. The kid behind the customer service counter was about 25 and thought he was all that. He probably ties his hair up into a man bun when he's not at work.

He says to me, "Well, we COULD open up some more, but I don't know if we have anybody available right now."

So I give it right back to him, because I can tell by his demeanor he just wants me to fuck off.

"Are you the manager?", I ask him, making hard eye contact, so he can feel the hate leaping from my eyes into his soul like heat lightning on a hot summer night. I've cornered him and he knows it. Suddenly, he looks very uncomfortable.

"I don't DO self checkout", I tell him evenly, lasering him with my gaze. "I'm the customer here, I don't work for you. And then I give him the vacation/overtime/benefits/401k treatment, and by now he's wishing he had taken a job washing cars.

I wrap up my little spiel by telling him that the lines are starting to wind around the block and that, as his customer, I am not willing to wait. I remind him that there are several other supermarkets I can shop at and I will leave my carriage full of groceries right there in front of his counter, and walk out of the store and never come back, if paging some people to the front of the store to man the cash registers is that big of a deal for him.

So he leans into the microphone and, in a defeated voice, broadcasts on the store's PA system: "I need all available cashiers to the front of the store, please."

I smile and thank him and wish him a good evening and watch with satisfaction as the "Lane Open" lights begin to flicker on, one after the other, leaving me with no less than three empty lanes to choose from.

Now THAT'S a story I'll be telling for a while around the campfire.

😆

[wefoundloveunderthelight]

Wingman by GleefullyCaptainSwan

Chapter 1/1

Read on AO3: | Chapter 1

Or on FF

This one is for @earanemith

Stacy's Tortured Crew: @teamhook @kmomof4 @stahlop @lfh1226-linda @ilovemesomekillianjones @itsfabianadocarmo @mariakov81 @qualitycoffeethings @zaharadessert @jrob64 @jonesfandomfanatic @natascha-ronin @tiganasummertree @xarandomdreamx @therooksshiningknight @batana54 @superchocovian @onceratheart18 @ultraluckycatnd @snowbellewells @karlyfr13s @the-darkdragonfly @xsajx @deckerstarblanche @jonesfandomfanatic

Summary:

Wingman, a person who can help to avoid attention from undesirable, prospective partners or attract desirable ones. Emma Swan and Will Scarlet, or Wemmie as their friends so lovingly call them, have been best friends since childhood. There isn’t anything they haven’t done or won’t do for each other, except when it comes to Emma getting along with Will’s roommate, the arrogant, antagonistic, Killian Jones.

Wingman

“Generally speaking, you really should consider what your future income will be before deciding if you should contribute to a 401K versus a Roth IRA…”

Emma nodded, her eyes glazing over as the man in front of her continued to talk about her financial options surrounding her new job. Though she couldn’t even remember how they had gotten started on this topic, it had most assuredly cemented her disinterest in her blind date. It wasn’t that he was boring, but…

Emma stared blankly at the man, who was still talking, the words not even registering in her brain. Never mind, she thought, he was worse than boring, he was completely forgettable.

The only way she would even remember this man in a week would be if he were to sprout wings and shoot lasers from his eyes and even then, it wouldn’t make him more interesting!

“And that’s not even getting into the tax options.” She smiled and he laughed. “Forgive me, I hope I’m not boring you, sometimes I just get really excited about finances.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being passionate about something.” She smiled, looking down at her phone as her fingers plucked away.

“Shall we get another bottle of wine.” He asked while raising his hand to call over the waiter.

“That’s not necessary.”

“Nonsense, your glass is empty and that simply won’t do.” He exhaled in an agitated manner when the waiter didn’t magically appear at his side. “I swear you can never find good help anymore.”

“He seems really busy, honestly it’s no trouble.” Emma pleaded as he began waving angrily.

“Emmie…” Her attention was drawn to the front door of the restaurant, to the man standing with his arms crossed against his chest. “I can’t believe I found ya here.” His loud voice boomed as he walked toward their table ignoring the man seated across from her.

“I’m so sorry.” Emma whispered politely to her date.

“Where’s my apology?” The man standing at the table stated in an agitated tone.

“I’m sorry, Emma, do you know this man?” Walsh asked in a hushed tone from across the table.

“Does she know me?” The man asked loudly, causing everyone in the restaurant to turn in their direction. “Of course, she knows me, the real question is, how does she know you?” He said, bending slightly to meet the man at eye level. “Let’s go home and talk this out, baby.” He stated, turning back toward her.

“You don’t need to go anywhere with this man, Emma.” Walsh said defiantly, causing Will to turn on his heels.

“You listen here, Mate…” He said angrily, leaning into Walsh’s space. “I’m willing to forgive that you took the misses out for a nice meal, on the fact that it means I don’t have to buy her dinner tonight, but when you try and keep a mama from her baby, well that I take issue with sir.”

Emma bit her tongue, staring at the scene in front of her, Walsh’s face had drained of all color. “You have a child?” He asked her exasperatedly.

“You didn’t tell him about the babies?” Will gasped as he stomped his foot dramatically with each word.

“Babies?” Walsh feigned hoarsely.

“Jeremiah will be 2 this winter, God bless him he is a handful, but Cletus, well he don’t deserve none of this, he’s still fresh.” He turned back toward her. “Don’t you love us, pumpkin?”

Emma bit her lip, tears starting to form at the corners of her eyes as she tried to hold herself together. “I got jealous baby…of Ruby. The way you look at her.” She replied, a calmness overtaking her.

“Baby, you know you’re the only one I gots eyes for.” He stepped toward her, pulling her into his arms. “You’re my sugar plum.”

“Ah baby, I’m so sorry.” Emma cooed with an exasperated sigh. Suddenly his lips were on hers as they latched on to each other, and she heard the hard scrape of the chair behind Will.

“I uh…I think I’m just going to…” Will lifted his hand, brushing the man off before depositing his fingers into her golden trusses and pulling her leg around his waist. Emma opened her right eye, squinting to look behind the man who’s arms she was entrenched in. She paused her movement and Will opened his eyes. “Did we scare him off?”

Emma groaned, removing herself from his embrace. “You’ve probably damaged him for life.” She grabbed the bill from the table and looked at the total, groaning once more. “I told you I hate that hillbilly act, there is no way this body had two kids already.”

“You didn’t give me a lot of time to improvise, you’ve hardly been gone an hour, how does a date go that bad in less than an hour!”

“He was a banker; we were talking about IRA’s.”

“Oh God, I told you to stop letting Ruby set you up on dates.”

“I know, but she said he had money, and I haven’t had sex in three months…three months, Will.”

The waiter approached the table and Emma handed the bill to her friend. “He’s got it.”

“I…what?” Will stuttered as she stood from the table, mouthing the words “Best wingman ever” as she left the restaurant. She leaned against the wall once she got outside and blew out a puff of air. She was positive she was never going to meet Mr. Right. This had been her sixth bad date in months, if she didn’t know any better she would just assume that all the good men were either married, dead, or gay. And even then, she was so desperate she might be willing to compromise!

“That’s the thanks I get for saving your ass, I get stuck with the bill.” Will exclaimed as he exited the restaurant.

“And my undying love.”

He wrapped an arm around her back and pulled her toward the car parked on the curb. “If that’s all the payment I’m going to get from now on, then I’m going to have to start asking for sexual favors.”

She elbowed him in the chest. “Because that worked out so well for us last time.”

He shrugged before chuckling, “You’re not the worst I’ve had.”

“Hey!” She glared as he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“But you are my favorite. Come on, let’s get you home. I’ll even let you watch Peter Pan again?”

“Can we cuddle?”

He sighed. “Fine.”

“And will you make me popcorn?”

“You just ate, and might I say it was a very expensive meal!” He argued before rolling his eyes in conciliation. “Yes, I’ll make you popcorn.”

“I love you.” She said softly leaning into his chest as they walked.

“How did I get so wrapped around your finger?” He shook his head with a chuckle.

“You just can’t help yourself.” She giggled, then scrunched her mouth together in disgust. “Did you eat tuna; I can still taste it on my lips?”

“Nuh uh, you don’t get to be desperate and picky.”

Emma sat quietly on the ride home, trying not to think about the way her life had gone the last few years. When she graduated college she expected her career to take off and men to be coming out of the woodwork to date her. She would sit back at the bars and just wait for someone to hit on her, knowing that eventually one of them would be the one that she would spend the rest of her life with.

After a few years, she was just happy to find someone who was the one to spend the next couple of hours with. She was starting to lose hope, the one thing she had always tried to hold onto.

She looked over at her friend, making a rude comment toward the driver in front of them. Will Scarlet had always been there for her, they grew up together in foster care, “best friends since the cradle” they always said. She loved Will and for a time, she even tried to love him as more than a friend.

When she realized she may have feelings for him, she spent an awkward few months’ tripping around him, sharing awkward smiles, blushing at his inappropriate comments, until they gave in, and spent an intense night together.

Sexually, they were compatible, in fact, Will used to joke that they could win a gold medal in the Sex Olympics, if that was ever a thing. He was amazing in bed, and she finally understood all the catcalls and screaming that would come from his bedroom when he had a woman stay over, but as much as she tried, as hard as they forced it, something didn’t click.

After a couple of weeks, they both admitted what the other was afraid to say, they were better off as friends. Losing the thought of a lifetime with Will almost broke her. He never stopped being her friend, but a part of her really wanted him to be the one who would change everything for her. But no matter what, she knew that having him as her friend meant more than anything, and even if she ended up alone for the rest of her life, she would always have Will.

As she cuddled up to him in her bed that night, wrapped in their favorite Harry Potter blanket, she closed her eyes, hoping that one day they would both find their person, but until then she would just be happy they had each other.

~*~

A crash in the kitchen woke her with a start, causing her to sit up suddenly. “Ow.” She exclaimed, grabbing her head as it pounded in pain. Of course, she would wake up with a headache. She turned to her side to see the bed beside her empty, Will must have retreated to his apartment sometime during the night.

Climbing out of bed she wrapped the blanket around her and stumbled from the room, following the sounds to the kitchen.

“Seriously, that’s how you’re going to treat me?” Emma’s ears perked up to the sound of her roommate’s anger. “After everything we’ve been through, and you choose today to shit on me.”

Emma peered around the corner of the hall to see Belle standing in the kitchen with her back to her, her shoulders hunched forward and her hands on her hips.

“Having a problem this morning?” She remarked as she stepped out of the hall, Belle turned toward her and then back to the counter.

“The coffee maker won’t turn on.” Emma groaned; this was definitely not a day to go without coffee. “Can you believe that? I meant it’s not even that old.”

“Did you try turning it off and…”

“Don’t finish that sentence. I’ve already turned it off and back on again. I’ve unplugged it, I’ve shook it.”

“Wait, why did you shake it?” She asked with a laugh.

“In case something rattled around in there.”

“And if it did, what were you going to do about it?”

She shrugged, tossing her hands in the air. “I don’t know wise guy; do you have a better plan?”

“I’ll go see if Will can share some coffee with us.”

Belle groaned. “It’s too early to deal with him.” Emma rolled her eyes; she didn’t have time for Belle’s annoyance with her best friend.

“Do you want caffeine or not?”

“Fine.”

Emma stepped out into the hall, crossing over to the door adjacent to hers. She knocked twice and waited for the door to open. After a minute it still stood silent in front of her. She really didn’t want to go back to her room and get her key. She banged loudly against the door when it suddenly swung open causing her to fall forward. She felt strong arms wrap around her waist as she regained her balance and looked up into a pair of steely blue eyes.

She narrowed her own green orbs in his direction. “Jones.” She said flatly.

“I had no idea how badly you were falling for me, Swan, I’m flattered.” Emma straightened herself and pushed him away from her.

“Please, you couldn’t handle it.” She groaned in annoyance.

His blue eyes narrowed, and his jaw tensed. “Perhaps it’s you who couldn’t handle it.” He said gruffly.

Emma’s eyes trailed down his bare chest for a moment before returning her eyes to meet his defiantly, her teeth sliding against her lip as she bit down lightly on her flesh. “Not my type.” She breathed out.

“Not desperate enough yet, or perhaps it’s because I have all my teeth?” He teased.

“Ok enough, that was one guy, and he had a wrestling incident.” Emma turned away from him, walking toward the kitchen.

“He was 25, men don’t have wresting incidents at that age. You know that’s your problem, Swan…”

She laughed loudly, tossing her hands in the air in annoyance. “Oh, do tell, Jones, what exactly is my problem?”

“You date boys instead of men.” He stepped toward her, staring down at her mouth.

She snorted. “Please tell me you don’t consider yourself a man.”

“Trust me sweetheart I’m all man, however, I’m not interested in you.” He turned away from her, walking back to the living room.

“Excuse me? And why the hell not? What’s wrong with me?” She asked agitated, barely registering that she was arguing with him about why he didn’t like her when he was the last man on earth she even wanted to be interested in her.

He spun around and brushed his finger against his ear. “You have big ears.” He shrugged.

“What?” She absentmindedly reached up to cup her ears. “My ears aren’t big!”

“Yeah, they stick out when you put your hair in a ponytail. And…” He backed away from her, “You talk too much. I can’t stand a woman who won’t shut up, always talk, talk, talk...” He held his hand up and flapped his fingers in front of her.

“I talk too much…” She repeated. “Yeah well good…because I wouldn’t want you to be interested in me anyway. Because you’re…” She felt herself getting flustered and she couldn’t understand why he was making her so angry. “You’re arrogant and selfish which would make you a terrible lover.”

“Ouch, you wound a man, Swan.” He grabbed at his heart.

“Why is everyone talking so loudly?” Will asked with his hands over his ears as he entered the room. “Can’t a guy get some bloody sleep around here?”

“Sorry, our coffee maker broke, and I thought I could…”

“Come over here and get into a screaming match to wake me up so that I would make you coffee?” He asked as he stared angrily between her and his roommate, Killian.

“Not exactly, but if it works…” She grinned slyly.

“Anything to keep you two from yelling at each other like a bunch of five-year-olds.” He groaned, sliding his feet against the ground as he shuffled to the kitchen, putting on a pot of coffee.

“We weren’t yelling, we were just…”

“Having a discussion.” Killian interjected. “And if we’re all being honest here, Emma’s never done anything quietly.” He added.

“Go fuck yourself.” She spat toward him.

“As you wish.” He said with a bow of his head before disappearing down the hall toward his room.

“Jesus, would you two get a room already.” Will groaned as he poured the coffee.

“Me and Killian?” She said with a snort. “Not in his wildest dreams.”

“Yeah ok, whatever you say, love. Here just take the cup and go.” He slid the mug toward her.

“Need another for Belle, unless you want to bring it over yourself.” She sang with a growing smile.

“Um, you know, I do need to make another pot, this one is a bit stale.” He added as he ran his hand through his short hair.

“Wait, but it was ok to give me stale coffee?”

He shrugged. “I’ve already been to bed with you…”

“If you think a fresh pot of java is going to impress the pants off of Belle, then it makes a ton of sense why nothing has ever happened between the two of you.”

“Well, that’s what I have a wingman for.” He winked as he nudged her shoulder.

“I don’t even think my powers are that strong.” She teased.

“Can’t hurt to try a little bit of your magic on her.”

“I’m your wingman, not a miracle worker.” He poured the second mug of coffee and walked with her out into the hall. “Just be nice to her.” She reminded as she opened the door to her apartment.

Belle was sitting on the couch and looked up the moment they entered, Emma could see the annoyance on her face the moment she saw Will standing beside her. “Special delivery.” He announced, handing her the mug of coffee. “Freshly brewed, you know for…your…pleasure.” He seemed to struggle to complete his sentence and the moment the words left his mouth; Emma could tell he was regretting each one. He sounded like a buffoon.

Will was usually gifted when speaking to a woman, it wasn’t that he was a Casanova, but he knew how to make a girl smile and swoon. Emma had seen him in his element many times on their nights out, but anytime he was around Belle he sounded like an idiot.

“Um, ok, thanks.” Belle took the mug from his hands and smiled awkwardly.

“You look nice, is that a new pant suit?”

Belle glanced down at her clothes and bit her lip. “You mean my pajamas?”

“Oh yeah, I mean I knew that.” He stuttered.

“So yeah, didn’t you need to do that thing, back at your apartment?” Emma jumped in to rescue him from the nightmare happening in front of her.

He inhaled and smiled at her gratefully. “Yeah, really important, I’ll uh, I’ll see you later.” He turned and groaned when he passed her, and Emma simply patted him on the shoulder in a display of comfort.

As soon as the door shut behind him, Emma joined Belle on the couch. “You couldn’t have carried two mugs of coffee on your own?” She complained.

“He really wanted to hand deliver it.” She smiled. “I thought it was sweet.”

“He just always so awkward, it’s weird, and annoying.”

“He’s not usually like that you know, it only happens around you.”

Belle snorted. “So, I make him awkward and annoying?”

“You know what I mean, he likes you. You should give him a chance, he’s a really good guy.” Emma said honestly.

“If he was such a good guy, how come you aren’t with him?” She retorted.

“Will and I just work better as friends. Trust me, I tried, and I really wanted it to work, it just wasn’t meant to be.” Emma finished her coffee and sat the mug on the table. “But God I need to get laid soon.”

Her friend laughed loudly. “You and me both, girl. The last time I had sex, I was so desperate I didn’t even care that he was almost the same age as my father.”

Emma groaned in frustration. “What does a girl have to do to find a hot man who will worship her for an entire evening?”

“Please all you need to do is go next door and you’ll find that.”

“I already told you, Will and I…”

Belle interrupted her, “Not Will, Killian.”

Emma snorted, “Killian? No. Never.” She covered her mouth as she tried to hold in her laughter. “Not in a million years.” She continued to protest. “He’s arrogant, selfish, annoying…”

“And sexy as hell…besides based on the intensity of the way you two argue, I think the sex would be explosive.”

“I’d have to stomach him long enough to be in the same room with him to even have sex, and that’s not going to happen.”

“I’m just saying, it might release the tension between you two.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “I’ll have sex with Killian the day you fuck Will.”

Belle giggled uncontrollably. “I guess neither one of us is getting laid.”

~*~

Emma picked at her salad as she listened to Will giving a lively retelling of the events of his day. She nodded absentmindedly a few times, agreed to things she didn’t hear, and found herself lost in thought.

“Do you think I’m going to die alone.” She stated suddenly causing Will to drop his fork.

“Seriously, Emmie, why are you always so dramatic?” He laughed. “Where is this coming from?”

“We’re 28 years old, Will. It’s different for women than men. My biological clock is ticking.” She clicked her tongue in her mouth. “Tick tock, tick tock. I don’t want to be alone forever.”

“Hey, you’re never going to be alone.” She felt the tears stinging her eyes and she covered her face with her hands. She heard Will’s chair scrape on the floor before his hands were on hers, pulling them away from her face. “Look at me Emmie.” He demanded. “I’d never let you be alone. It’s you and me, girl.”

“I know, but it’s not like either one of us is any closer to finding that special person to spend the rest of our lives with.” She said through broken sobs.

“It will happen, I promise.” He reassured.

“But what if it doesn’t?” She complained.

He sighed. “Let’s make a deal, ok? If neither of us has found our forever person in ten years, you’ll marry me.”

She laughed. “What? Stop joking around.”

“I’m not joking. I love you, you’re my best friend, and who better than my best friend to spend the rest of my life with?” He said seriously.

“You’d really do that for me?”

“I’d do anything for you, marriage, the house, kids…”

“Will…” She interrupted.

“I’m serious Emma, if you can’t find love, and you’re way prettier than me, then I got no luck at all.” He grinned that special grin that always put her at ease. “So now that you know you won’t be alone forever, you can focus on the next ten years of your life.”

“You really are my favorite person.” She said through her tears.

“I know.” He smiled, brushing a kiss against her knuckles. “Now can you please finish your food and stop playing with it?”

Once their entrees had arrived, Emma was back to laughing with her friend. She knew it was crazy to think that he would give up everything to spend his life with her, but she also knew that he had been sincere and meant every word. He would never let her go through life alone.

“So, what did Belle say after I left this morning?” He asked her without looking up from his plate.

“Oh, um, well…”

“That bad huh?”

“It wasn’t bad she just…she thinks you’re awkward.”

“Bloody hell…every time I get around her I sound like a goober.” He groaned.

“Maybe you just need a win to remind yourself who you are.” She said with a gleam in her eye, gesturing toward the bar behind him. He turned around, glancing over at the blonde who had been checking him out for the last twenty minutes. “What do you think? Shy birthday boy?”

“Oh, I like that one.” He agreed.

Emma pushed away from the table and walked toward the bar. She stepped up next to the woman and leaned over the bar. “Hi, can I get a gin and tonic?” The bar tender acknowledged her and began making her drink. Emma tapped her fingernails on the bar before glancing at the woman beside her. “Nice shirt, I love the color on you.”

The woman smiled and looked down at her shirt. “Oh, thanks.”

“My brother was telling me earlier that he thought it really brightened the color of your hair.”

The woman’s eyes gleamed in relief, Emma could tell she had been wondering if Emma was competition or not. “He did?” She giggled nervously. “That’s so sweet.”

“I knew he’d never come over and tell you himself. He’s really shy when it comes to meeting women.” The woman turned back toward Will.

“Really? He’s very cute.”

“And such a great guy, such a shame though…” She let her sentence hang in the air.

“What’s a shame?”

“Well, we were celebrating his birthday tonight and I just got a call that my boyfriend needs me to pick him up from work, so I have to leave him here to celebrate on his own.” Emma took the drink from the bar tender. “I got him this to try and break the news.” She shrugged and the woman stared at the table across the room.

“I could always have a drink with him.”

“Oh, I’d hate to ask you to do that.” She said with her eyes wide.

“No really, it would be no bother at all. I’d love to help him celebrate.”

“Oh goodness, you really are saving me here. Thank you so much.” Emma handed the drink to the woman who excitedly picked up her purse and headed toward Will’s table.

Emma stood and watched as she sat down next to Will and introduced herself with a giggle. Emma smiled the moment Will looked her way, nodding in his direction as she walked away from the bar toward the front door, masking the sadness on her face until she had left the restaurant.

~*~

“Can you believe how handsy he’s being. I swear if his friend doesn’t stop putting his hand up my skirt every time he takes a drink, I’m going to spit on him.” Emma shook her head in agreement, watching Belle’s disgusted look in the mirror.

“His friend smells like onions, and he keeps putting his tongue in my ear.” She shivered from the revolting thought. She pulled her phone from her purse.

“What are you doing?” Belle asked.

“Calling in the cavalry.” Once she sent her text, they returned to their table, hoping they had spent enough time in the bathroom for their dates to get bored and leave. Unfortunately, they were waiting for them with roaming hands and smelly breath.

Fifteen minutes later, Emma was staring at the front door, wondering what was taking so freaking long. Suddenly it opened, and Will bounded through the door with Killian following behind him. Emma groaned when she caught his eye. Killian walked toward the bar and took a seat on one of the stools as Will made his way toward their table.

“Emma love, is that you?” He asked and Emma squealed excitedly.

“Will Scarlet, I can’t believe it.” Will embraced her and kissed her on the cheek.

“You look amazing. How long has it been?”

Emma laughed. “Way too long apparently.” She glanced up and down Will’s body, wrapping a hand around his bicep. “Someone has been working out.” She heard the man behind them clear his throat. “Oh sorry, Will this is…I’m so sorry I forgot your name.”

“Jeff.” He said shortly.

Will barely gave the man a glance before turning back to Emma. “What is this outfit?” He asked, looking her over. “You look like a snack.”

Emma let her head fall back as she giggled like a schoolgirl. “You always know the right thing to say to a woman.” He turned his head to her side and glanced at Belle.

“And where have you been hiding this gorgeous beauty?”

Belle’s mouth dropped open as he pulled her hand to his mouth and kissed her knuckles. “I’m…I’m Belle.”

“Mademoiselle tu es belle.” He whispered reverently and Emma glanced over at the bar at Killian who was sipping a beer and watching the scene unfold with an air of indifference.

She turned her attention back to Will as he wrapped an arm around her back. “So, what do you say we catch up somewhere more private?” He said smoothly. “And please, bring your friend.”

“I think we were already talking to these ladies.” Jeff interrupted.

“Mate, you didn’t seriously think you stood a chance with these gorgeous angels did you?” The man stood and tried to square up with Will.

“Why don’t we let the ladies decide, shall we?” Will shrugged and glanced at Emma.

“Will and I go way back, and honestly, I’m dying to get reacquainted with what he has to offer. Belle, are you interested in joining us, you won’t regret it?”

Belle looked like she was lost in another reality as she stared blankly at Will. “Um, yeah of course.” She started, trying to snap out of her daze. “I’d love to see what he has to offer.” She stood and slid her arm through his. “Shall we?” She asked, staring up at Will.

“Sorry, looks like they made their choice, lads.” He shrugged, walking away with Emma and Belle on each arm.

Once they got to the parking lot, they all started laughing. “Nice job.” Emma praised her friend.

“Yeah that was…” Belle stared with an almost glazed-over look. “Really amazing.”

“Will’s the best wingman ever.” Emma praised. “Way more useful than you.” She turned toward Killian who had finally caught up with them.

“Your poor choices don’t require my assistance.” He stated with an arrogant shrug.

“You are such an asshole.” Emma barked before storming toward her own car with Belle in tow.

“Enjoy your evening Princess.” She heard him sing sarcastically as she turned the corner, the sound of her friend’s voice echoing through the alley behind her – “dude can’t you two ever get along, like seriously either be nice or get a room already”.

“Is that what you two do all the time?” Belle asked once they were in the car.

“You mean fight?”

“No not Killian, I already know that this bickering you do is some sort of sick foreplay you both have going on.” Emma began to protest as Belle continued. “But I’m talking about you and Will. This weird game you play to get out of dates.”

“We don’t just do it to get out of dates, I mean yes, lately it seems like the only thing Will does is bail me out of stupid situations, but sometimes it works the other way, just the other day I helped him get noticed by a girl at the bar and sometimes he’ll talk me up to a guy I’m interested in.”

“He was very different tonight than I’m used to.” She said softly.

“That bit was actually what we call past lovers, reserved for guys that are aggressive and don’t take a hint, really need put in their place by getting left in the dust. But honestly, that was just Will.”

“He always acts so nervous and insecure, I guess I never saw him as confident.”

Emma laughed and gave her friend a sly smile. “You know, he’s never been like that around a woman before. He gets all tripped up when you’re around, it’s crazy, I think he really likes you.”

“No, that’s…you think?” She asked curiously and Emma’s mischievous smile grew on her face.

“Definitely.”

The moment she got back to her room she texted her friend.

Emma: I think Belle appreciated your performance tonight. You should strike while the oven is hot.

Will: Yeah right! Are you trying to set me up to make a fool of myself again?

Emma: I think Confident Overachiever might be your way in. Stop tripping over your own mouth.

Will: That one only works on strangers, Belle’s different, I can’t even find my own tongue around her.

Emma: Get out of your own way or you’re never going to have a chance. Confident Overachiever only works because it IS you, you’re being yourself.

Will: You’re only saying that because you have to.

Emma: I also think you’re an idiot does that help?

Will: Whatever, I’ll think about it.

Emma: Don’t think too long, the guy in 2B has been hitting on her every evening when she gets the mail.

Will: Bloody hell.

~*~

Emma thought that her dating record couldn’t take a hit any further than it had in the last few months but sitting across from Neal Cassidy confirmed that even rock bottom had a basement. She was told by her friend Ruby that Neal was an “entrepreneur”, though Emma was sure that the word must not mean the same thing to Ruby as it did to her.

“So, after I acquire the items, I move them to a seller who turns a profit for me. It’s pretty lucrative.” He said with a nod as he flashed a wad of cash at the waiter while requesting another beer. She could tell his money was different than the money Walsh was showing off on their date. Walsh held himself with an air of arrogance that showed he came from money. Neal simply tossed his around like a trophy, a badge of honor.

“It sounds kind of illegal.” She stated with a shrug as she took another drink of her beer.

“Nah, not if you do it right.” He added with a wink that made her skin crawl and immediately had her reaching for her phone to text her knight in shining armor. Neal scooted closer to her on the bench and wrapped an arm around her back. “So…” He let the word hang in the air like a dirty word, his tongue sliding across his bottom lip like a snake looking for its next meal. “What’s it gonna take to get you back to my place?”

Gross. Does asking like that actually work on women, she thought?

“It’s getting kind of late.” She said with a yawn, a deterrent that worked on most men, but not Mr. Cassidy.

“I’ve got a bed you can take your clothes off in.” He traced a line down her shoulder across her arm with his finger, staring at her cleavage as she tried not to immediately cover her entire body with the tablecloth.

“I have to work in the morning.”

“When I get done with you, you’ll have to call out sick, you won’t be able to walk.”

She tried not to shiver in pure disgust.

“As tempting as that sounds…” She looked down at her phone and still no response from Will. “Raincheck?”

“If it’s wet you want, I’ll get you…”

Emma held a hand up to his mouth. “Hold that thought, I need to go to the ladies room.”

“Don’t you go escaping on me.” He warned with a haunting grin.

“I wouldn’t dream of it, I just need to use the restroom.”

She excused herself and quickly made her way back to the bathroom, entering the stall and locking it tight behind her. She dialed the phone and sat down on the toilet. “Pick up, pick up, pick up.”

“Hello…”

“Oh my God, do you not answer your phone. I’m down at the Lion’s Head and I’m calling in a 911, I don’t think I’ve ever been this uncomfortable before.”

“Sorry love, but I’m afraid Will is out.”

She froze at the sound of Killian’s voice on the other end of the link, looking down at the number she dialed to ensure she called the right person. When she saw Will’s name she groaned and put the phone back to her ear. “Where is he?”

“He went out on a date, must have left his phone ‘cause it’s been buzzing like an annoying bugger on the couch all night.”

“Fuck!” She cursed, hoping that maybe she could just sneak out of the place without Neal noticing her. She peeked out the door and found that Neal had stationed himself near the front door, waiting for her return. “Fuck.” She repeated as she closed the door.

“Another fabulous life choice tonight, Swan?”

“Just forget it.” She swore under her breath.

“Come now, love. Is there anything I can help you with?”

“You are most certainly not what I need.”

“Then tell me what you need, Swan?”

“I needed a wingman.” She said sadly.

“Perhaps if you were more honest with yourself on why you continue to go out with emotionally stunted and undesirable men, you wouldn’t have a need for...”

“Don’t lecture me on my life choices.” She interrupted him as she began her rant and then paused. “You know what, never mind, just forget it. I’m not in the mood to fight with you, I’m a resourceful woman, I’ll figure it out myself. But thanks for wasting my time.” She hung up the phone and stared down at her shoes.

Fuck.

Emma slipped out the bathroom door and hovered along the wall toward the front door. Neal was no where in sight. She let out the breath she was holding as she walked quickly toward the door only to be stopped the moment she got past the first table.

“There you are.” Her shoulders slouched as Neal approached her. She needed to learn how to get out of situations on her own.

“Yeah, I’m really not feeling well.” She feigned, holding her stomach.

“Let’s get you some water.” He said with a smile leading her back toward their table. “I can call you a cab if you still aren’t feeling well after that.”

“You would?” She asked with a surprised look.

“Of course.”

An hour later, and a pitcher of water in her stomach she still felt like vomiting every time he touched her. “You know, I’m still really not feeling that well, I think I’m gonna need that cab.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, I’ll just drive you, it’s getting late and that way I can take care of you, make sure you’re all tucked in and cozy.” His hand slid up her thigh and Emma grabbed his hand with hers, stilling it.

“I really don’t think that will be necessary.”

“Swan.” Emma’s head jerked in the direction of the voice, her mouth almost dropping to the table as she saw Killian standing at the front door, wringing his hands in front of him. He walked toward her with a look of sorrow on his face that had Emma confused yet completely mesmerized.

“Killian, what are you…”

“Don’t say anything, allow me to speak first, please.” She looked around at Neal who was staring angrily at the man in front of them. “I know you’re mad at me. I deserve your anger; I’ve been nothing but impossible to deal with these last few months.”

Emma felt herself swallow hard, not knowing where he was going with this speech.

“But you have to understand, I only do that because of how I feel about you. You make me crazy, love.” He stepped forward, grabbing her hand in his, to which Emma felt the immediate electric shock between them. “Not havingyou the way I crave you, well, it makes a man insane.” He said with a chuckle.

Emma was in shock; he was really good at this game.

“I can’t deal with all fighting between us, it just won’t work.” She said, crossing her arms against her chest to seal the picture of an angry woman.

“I need you Emma.” His eyes were dark and hungry and for a moment she got lost in the act they were playing, the role she was trying to convince her date was real. For a moment, he actually looked like he wanted her. Suddenly he had pulled her to her feet, his arms holding tight to her forearms. “Let me show you, just give me one chance to prove that I’m the right man for you.”

Emma’s mouth was dry, she couldn’t pry her eyes from his inviting lips, but before she could protest, those lips were on hers, his arms around her back as he pulled her against his chest. Emma couldn’t stop the slight moan that left her mouth the moment she felt his tongue press against her parting lips.

“Excuse me asshole, but that’s my date.” She heard Neal protest somewhere behind her, but she couldn’t honestly say where he was in the room because her mind had fogged over as she got lost in the embrace of the man who was kissing the living daylights out of her.

When he finally pulled away from her, she stumbled backward, shaking her head to clear her brain when she realized that Neal was suddenly in Killian’s face.

“I said, she’s my date.” Neal repeated.

“Not anymore, Mate.” Killian said, pushing the man away from him as he reached for Emma’s hand. “Come, Swan, allow me to escort you home.” He said with a nod of his head and a reassuring smile on his face. She reached for him just as Neal yanked his arm, spinning Killian around to face him before he punched him square in the face.

Emma screamed. “Neal, stop.”

Before she could take another step, Killian had planted a punch that sent Neal to the ground. “I don’t want to hurt you, Mate, so stay down.” He growled.

Emma blinked her eyes, looking between the men. “Can we leave, please.” She pleaded.

“As you wish.” He said with a smile, stepping past Neal and taking Emma’s hand to lead her out the door. Emma didn’t say a word as they walked toward his car, he opened the door and she slid into the passenger seat. She waited for him to enter the car before turning on him.

“You were really good at that.” She said with an excited smile.

He chuckled. “Uh yeah, are you alright? Sorry it took me so long to get here but traffic was a nightmare at this hour.”

She noticed for the first time the bruise forming on his cheek, she could see the scratch from Neal’s ring and a stain of blood. “I’m so sorry, does it hurt?”

He looked at his face in the rear-view mirror. “This thing, tis only a scratch, I’ve had worse cuts while shaving.” He stared at her, his eyes dark in the moonlight but not straying from her own.

“You know you were a pretty good wingman for someone who can’t stand me.” She said with a chuckle.

“You think I can’t stand you?” He responded with a serious tone.

“Of course, you can’t.”

“Do you really believe that Emma?”

She laughed nervously. “Well yeah, because of how you act, the way you’re always starting a fight with me, judging my life, acting like I’m a nuisance to be around all the time.”

“Well, I give what I get.” He stated bluntly.

“Are you saying it’s my fault that you’re always rude to me?” She asked sarcastically.

“I’m just saying that it’s hard to be nice to someone who’s always acting like a bitch.” He spat back.

Emma yanked on the door handle. “Forget this.” She slammed the door shut and began walking angrily down the sidewalk.

“Swan.” She heard him shout behind her, but she continued walking, ignoring his plea for her to return. She didn’t want to fight with him right now. She had just been on the worst date of her life, and she just wanted to go home. Tears were falling down her cheeks and she tried to brush them away with the sleeve of her sweater, but they continued to come.

“Swan.” She heard his voice directly behind her and then a hand brushed against her arm, stilling her steps, and turning her toward him. The moment their eyes met, he had her in his arms for the second time that night, his lips crashing into hers.

Emma’s mind went blank, she forgot everything she was just crying about, her entire attention focused on the man who was holding her tightly. But just as suddenly as she got lost in his embrace she pulled away, staring up at him. “What are you…”

“I’m sorry for I said back there, I have no excuse, I suppose I get so wrapped up in things with you that I abandon self-control.” He groaned. “What I’m trying to say is the reason I was so good at that whole act back there is because…” He paused brushing a finger against his ear. “I meant every word.”

“What?”

“Every single word. You make me crazy, Emma, sometimes so crazy that just trying to have a conversation with you sends us spiraling into an arguing mess.” He closed his eyes. “But there are times when you’re around that all I want to do is pull you into my arms and kiss you.”

“But you’re always so mean to me.” She said with a shake of her head as his eyes opened.

“Don’t you see, it’s because I want you and I can’t have you, because you never look my way, you’re always so busy going out with the next loser who could never care for you the way I do, because you’re so afraid of letting anyone real into that heart of yours.”

Emma felt like she had been slapped with a reality even she didn’t want to face. Did she purposely go out with men she knew wouldn’t be good for her simply so she wouldn’t get hurt?

“You’re always so bloody afraid that if you let someone in, if you trust them, they’ll hurt you.”

“You don’t know anything about me.” She protested.

“I know everything about you, Emma Swan.” His eyes glistened in defiance. “I know that you’ve always been alone, except for Will. That you think that no one could want you because you’ve always felt unwanted. That you hide behind your friendship with Will because it’s safe. That the two of you play these games to keep others at bay because if either one of you would happen to fall in love with someone else, you’re afraid the other will feel abandoned, and you’re both petrified of being abandoned.”

“Stop.” She said with a slight sob.

“Emma, it’s ok to feel afraid. God knows I get it, but you’ll never truly feel loved until you accept that you are worthy of being loved.”

She searched his eyes looking for any hint of deception but only finding truth and warmth there. “But you were always so…”

“Straight forward, honest…”

“Annoying, arrogant, a pain in my ass…” She paused. “Should I go on?”

“You are a frustrating woman.” He laughed. “But irresistible, gorgeous, did I mention sexy as hell?” His eyebrow rose playfully.

“You didn’t but you can keep going.” She smiled as her fingers danced absentmindedly against his chest.

His tongue darted out to wet his lips as he stared into her eyes. “How about the fact that this outfit is driving me mad. When I walked in and saw you sitting there, I felt possessed, as if my heart was no longer in my body, yet was guiding me directly toward you. I needed you right there on the table, I didn’t give a damn who was there with you.”

Emma felt the heat pool between her legs and almost cursed how quickly her body reacted to his words. She gulped as she bit her lip, as he backed her up against the stone wall against the building.

“I knew that you needed assistance, that you didn’t want to be there with the ignorant man that was your date, but once I got there, I wanted to tear the man limb from limb simply for making you uncomfortable.”

“Why? Why do you care?” She said at barely a whisper.

“Don’t you get it Emma; it’s always been you.” He said with an air of sincerity that had her heart pounding in her ears. “You’re all I want.”

Emma thought back to all of their interactions, each time ending in frustration toward the other, but always causing her to think about him for the rest of her night, stewing over every word and comment he had made, the way he stared into her as he spoke to her, the way his words always affected her more than she cared to admit. Sometimes it was as if they were trying to get a rise out of the other. Like foreplay. She thought back to her roommate’s words from earlier…

I already know that this bickering you do is some sort of sick foreplay you both have going on.

Had that always been the case?

Emma wasn’t sure of the answer, she only knew that if Killian didn’t kiss her again soon she was sure she was going to melt under his touch. She let out an involuntary moan and met his eyes. “I uh, I need a ride home.” She uttered softly.

“Allow me to escort you, Swan.” His eyes were dark and full of implication. She knew that this could be a huge mistake, but all she cared about right now was that she needed to be near him. She climbed into the car, staring out the window as they drove toward their apartment, the anticipation of her next move heavy on her mind.

Was she really considering something with Killian Jones? The man who drover her insane, who pressed every button she had, who sent her into fits of anger that sometimes lasted for days simply because he had challenged her.

When they got into the elevator, he pressed the button to their floor and then turned toward her, she backed up against the elevator wall, staring into his blue steely eyes, a determination she had never seen before.

“Let me show you, love.”

She squared her shoulders. “Show me what?” She asked nervously.

“That I’m better than the men you let near you.” His fingers brushed against her neck which sent a shiver down her entire body. “Let me show you what you’re worth.” He said with a growl against her ear causing her entire body to gravitate toward him.

“And just what do you think I’m worth?” She moaned as his tongue slid against her hot skin.

“Everything.” He groaned against her flesh.

The moment the doors to the elevator opened was a messy tornado of wet kisses, hands groping, whispered innuendos, and the promise of something new. Something unexpected yet glorious.

When she couldn’t find the keys to her apartment, he simply spun them with ease, opening his own door and ushering them both inside as his hands found themselves under her shirt, groping at the flesh hidden beneath. Her skin was on fire everywhere he touched. She pulled at the buttons on his shirt, the few that he bothered to button up. The moment they were undone, her fingers were in the hair at his chest, her nails digging against his skin causing a low growl to escape his throat. She loved eliciting such a sound, loved that it was her causing him to come undone simply from her touch.

She pressed a kiss to his chest, his fingers slipping into her hair, tugging her mouth to his. The need and desire of their kiss was unmatched to anything she had ever experienced before. “God I want you.” He groaned against her mouth, and she felt her entire body hum in response. She wanted him too, more than she could have anticipated.

His fingers tugged the straps of her dress down her arms as he backed them down the hallway toward his room. By the time they reached the door, her dress was pooled around her feet. He stared down at her in her bra and panties, his eyes dark with desire. “Bloody hell, you’re gorgeous.”

She wanted to laugh, to argue, but his eyes were so sincere, his words seemed to mean something to him, which caught her off guard.

She reached between them, popping the clasp of her bra, and discarding it down her body, his eyes never leaving hers. He reached behind them, turning the knob of the door, and pushing it open. She stepped backward into the room as he watched her, only then looking down at her naked breasts as he followed her into the room. His arm snaked around her back, pulling her against him as he lowered his head, latching onto one of her pert nipples, his tongue sliding against her flesh.

“Oh my God.” The words left her mouth with a sound she barely recognized. She could feel the smile grow on his lips. He reached down, lifting her into his arms and in one sweep lowered her onto his bed.

He stared down at her with dark eyes. “I’ve thought about having you so many nights in this bed.” She swallowed hard, almost choking on her own saliva. His hand pressed against her core, his thumb rubbing through her panties. When he realized how wet she was he smirked. “Do you know how many times I laid in this spot, my hand on my cock, thinking about touching you like this?”

“Liar.” She teased with a smile.

“Have I ever lied to you?” He responded seriously. “Not to you. Never.” He bent to press a kiss to her stomach. He peeled her panties down her body, his nose hovering against her as he breathed her in. “God, you smell divine.”

Emma knew she was blushing, no one had ever paid so much attention to her while in this type of intimate proximity. Although none of her lovers were ever as vocal as Killian Jones. She had always imagined he was talkative during sex, and she had always expected him to be a talented lover, he couldn’t stop himself from bragging loudly in her presence. Yet hearing him speak, in the darkness of his bedroom, to her, she understood the draw to it. His voice did things to her that she had never experienced before, an immediate flush to her body, a heat that built up inside of her that was begging for release, a release that only he could provide.

She leaned up on her elbows, watching him below her. Before she could react his tongue dove between her folds, sliding against her most sensitive area all the way to her navel. His tongue dipped inside as he looked up to meet her eyes. “I could worship your body all night, Swan.” He grinned.

She shivered, part of her wanting him to take his time, to show her everywhere his tongue would travel but the other part of her was itching for release, wanting to know what it was like for Killian Jones to take her to new heights. “You really know how to tease a woman, don’t you?”

“Oh, I never tease, love. Your heart’s desire Swan, I promise, that’s all I want you to have.” He said earnestly.

“Trust me, I’m desiring a lot of things right now.” She growled.

“Tell me what you want, Emma.” His voice was deep, dark, and full of promise.

What did she want? Him, absolutely, her entire body hummed simply from his voice. But what did she want from him? A release, a one-time explosion of sexual exploration, or something more, something deeper based on the way her body seemed to react to his.

She couldn’t answer her own question, but she knew it was more than just sex. There was something about the things he had said to her tonight, something in the way that he seemed so invested in her answer as he watched her contemplate her words.

“I need to feel something…” She bit her lip. “Make me feel it, something, anything besides this constant black hole of loneliness.”

His hand clenched at her thigh, he bent to press a chaste kiss against her hip. “You’re not alone, Emma.”

She blinked back tears, this was not something she did, she didn’t share her fears, her insecurities with anyone. Of course, Will knew them, he knew her like no other, but she never offered these truths to men she dated. In her past, her words were used as weapons, daggers to take her down when she least expected them. She had learned to guard her words, to keep them inside, and yet here she was naked and vulnerable in front of Killian Jones.

“I’m always alone.” She whispered, pressing her eyes closed as she tried to stop the tears.

“Not anymore.” He slid up her body, he left light kisses against her cheeks, the corners of her eyes, where each tear had fallen. And then his mouth lightly pressed against hers, a motion that started slowly, innocently, but soon became more. Soon, it became everything.

As the kiss became heated, intense, his hand pressed against her thigh, sliding against her skin until he slid a finger inside of her. She moaned into his mouth, her body on fire as he slowly moved out of her, slipping back in immediately. “Oh God, Killian.” She groaned.

His kisses traveled south, tasting every inch of flesh they touched until he returned to the spot between her legs, sucking her flesh into her mouth as she bucked against him. Needing so much more, desperate for the friction.

“Music to my ears.” He grinned. She gripped his shoulder, her nails digging into his skin as he pumped his fingers inside of her, watching her with an intense curiosity, as if he was mentally taking notes on which movements elicited a certain sound. When he hit the spot that sent her screaming, her back arching off the mattress as she panted through the elation she heard him murmur to himself, satisfied. He pressed kisses to her hip, her stomach, the inside of her thigh until she had relaxed against the sheets again.

“Amazing.” He said reverently. “Bloody divine.”

She lifted her head, beads of sweat dripping down her neck. “Holy hell.” She laughed. “That was…”

“Yeah, I know, what was it you told me, I would be an arrogant, selfish lover?” He said with an almost shrug. When they were eye to eye again, his smile disappeared. “I’d let you argue with me every day for the rest of our lives if it would allow me to see you fall apart like that every night.”

She slapped playfully at his shoulder. “Ok so I was wrong, but that’s not a good reason to fight.”

“It’s a brilliant reason, if you ask me.”

“Well, I guess you have a reason to be so cocky after that performance.” She teased.

“That was nothing.” He said seriously. “I’m not done with you yet.”

She couldn’t hide the rush of air as she exhaled. The anticipation of what was to come as he reached down, shedding his pants. Emma had always been curious what he held behind those tight jeans, but the moment she saw him completely naked, she realized that even her imagination didn’t do him justice. She could only blink as he reached into a drawer, tearing the package open and sheathing his growing member with his hand.

He looked up at her cautiously. “You still with me, love?”

She nodded, unable to speak, not trusting her own voice. He hovered over her, pressing his mouth to hers, the lightest of kisses, but behind it, the promise of something less temporary than she was used to. Real emotion from being with someone who knew her, who knew all her insecurities, her flaws, her bad days. She was about to have sex with Killian Jones. They couldn’t just walk back from this, after tonight, everything would change between them.

“Emma…” Her eyes met his. “Hey…” He rolled off her, pulling her onto her side to face him. “Talk to me.”

“It’s nothing.” She lied.

“No, don’t do that.” He shook his head. “Don’t retreat. What are you afraid of?”

She breathed out unevenly. “That this will happen, and then tomorrow, everything will change.”

“I can’t tell you that things won’t change tomorrow. Pretty sure you can’t go a day without fighting with me.” He chuckled. “But not all change is bad, love. I welcome it if it means I can continue to do this with you.” He kissed her shoulder softly.

“So, you want to have a sexual relationship with me?”

He shook his head again. “You misunderstand me, Emma. I want to have a relationship with you. If sex is involved, I’d definitely consider it a perk.” He laughed and she buried her face in his neck. “But if you’re not ready for this, I’d be just as happy to wait, don’t get me wrong, I want you more than you know, but I’ll take this at whatever speed you’ll have me.”

His words were sincere, she could feel them as they hummed from his body, could see them in the truth in his eyes, he wanted her. Killian Jones wanted a relationship with Emma Swan.

She pressed her palms to his cheeks. “I’m not good at relationships.” She said honestly.

“Neither am I. Perhaps we could practice together.” He smiled, pressing his forehead to hers.

“I think I’d like that.” He kissed her soft, slow, but full of emotion. She pulled him on top of her and he hesitated, opening his eyes to stare down at her with concern. “I want you, Killian. All of you.” She reassured. She could feel him hard against her thigh confirming that the want was not one sided.

The kiss was swift as he parted her legs, settling between them as she felt him against her mound. Suddenly it was real, she was about to have sex with Killian, something that wasn’t even a possibility at the start of her day yet seemed like the most natural thing for her as she took in the moment.

He entered her with a low grunt, his head nuzzling against her neck, his breath hot at her ear. “God Emma.” He moved slowly inside of her, pulling out before immediately sliding back inside of her at a pace that was driving her insane. She wrapped her leg around his, bucking her hips to meet him, wanting to feel the fire build up in her again. Needing to feel that release once more.

“I’m not going to last long if you keep doing that.” He said hot against her skin.

“This isn’t a one-time thing, Jones. Show me your stamina another time, right now I need more.” She met his thrust again as he plunged into her, the sound of skin slapping together almost echoing in the dark room. She pressed against him, needing the friction as she felt it grow inside of her again, the need to explode.

“I want to feel it.” He grunted as he thrust into her again. “The moment you fall apart on my dick.”

Her mind was screaming, a long list of curse words coming to mind as he took her hand in his and placed it between them, sliding together in their combined slick. It was a moment that threatened to throw her over the edge immediately. It was hot and intimate, and nothing she had ever experienced before.

“You’re not alone.” He whispered into her ear, and she felt her entire body shake with the intensity of her orgasm overtaking him. She squeezed him with each thrust until he moaned into her ear, her name falling from his lips over and over again until he finally stilled, his body limp against hers.

“Wow…” He whispered into her shoulder.

“Yeah wow.” She repeated, trying to catch her breath. “No wonder you’re so cocky all the time.” He laughed against her salt-soaked skin.

“I told you, I’m not cocky. I’m confident.” He corrected and Emma felt herself relax into him. He slipped out of her, rolling onto his side as he disposed of the condom, rolling onto his back, and resting his hands behind his head. She rolled toward him, draping her arm over him, her fingers drawing lazy circles in the hair on his chest, her new favorite place to be.

“Fine, confident.” She conceded. He pulled a hand free, sliding it into her hair as she lay against his chest.

There was a loud bang from somewhere in the apartment and they both froze, staring at each other as if they were children caught eating candy before dinner. Another crash caused Killian to sit up. “What the hell is Will doing out there?”

The sound of glass breaking caused Emma to sit up with concern. “Is he drunk?” Another crash sent them both toward the door, Emma wrapped in a sheet and Killian grabbing a towel to wrap around his waist. “Do you hear anyone?” She whispered as he peeked his head out the door.

They could hear murmurs in the other room and another crash of something metal. Killian reached behind the door, grabbing a baseball bat from the corner before stepping out into the hall. When they heard a woman scream he ran down the hall, Emma following closely behind him. He flipped on the light switch, holding the bat over his head as Emma cowered behind him.

“What the bloody hell.”

Emma peered out from behind him, her mouth dropping open.

“Oh God.” Belle squealed, scrambling for a shirt that was lying on the table to cover her bare chest.

“You can drop the weapon, mate.” Will gestured toward Killian who was still holding the bat above his head. Killian lowered his arms, the bat hanging loosely at his side. Emma stared at her best friend, who was currently as naked as the day he was born, his body still connected to Belle’s who was hiding her face in his shoulder. “Well, this is a bloody interesting turn of events, if I don’t say so me self.”

Killian wrapped an arm around Emma and looked down at her. “It has been an unexpected evening, that’s for certain.”

“Yeah we’re gonna have to have a talk about this unexpected twist.” Will lectured Killian. “But uh, can we not do it now?” He glanced at Belle still hiding in his shoulder.

“Oh um…God.” Emma tugged on Killian’s arm, pulling him back toward the room. She shut the door behind them, leaning against it. “Well, that was awkward.”

“Indeed.” He said simply. “Is that going to be a problem?”

“What do you mean? I’ve been trying to hook Belle up with Will for months.”

“Not them, per se, but more because Will saw us together, you know, in compromising attire.” He tugged the sheet from her body.

“Oh, that.” She wasn’t ready to think about what her friend had thought about seeing Emma with Killian. “I mean…”

“Do you have regrets, Swan?”

She stared at him, recognizing the apprehension and fear in his eyes. “I should regret a lot of things in my life.” She said with a chuckle, walking closer to him. “But I can’t think of a single one at this moment.” She ran her hand up his arm. “Not a single one.” When she reached his jaw he closed his eyes. “But if you don’t take me to bed right now, you might have a few regrets.” She grinned. The smirk grew on his face as his eyes opened.

“As you wish, M’lady.”

~*~

Hours later, she brushed a kiss to his forehead as she slipped quietly from the bed, tip toeing to the door.

“Running out on me so soon?” He grumbled sleepily.

“Just going to the bathroom, I’ll be right back.” She whispered, tugging one of his shirts over her head. He smiled, half awake, one eye opened.

“Don’t be gone long…”

“Afraid you’ll miss me already?” She teased.

“Always.” He said, rolling onto his side as he closed his eyes.

Emma slipped out the door into the hall, closing it behind her as she rested her head against it. A happy smile grew on her face.

“I’m definitely going to need to hear that story.” She jumped at the sound of Will’s voice.

“Do you always lurk around at night.” She joked.

“Needed some water, I’ve never felt so thirsty in all my life.”

“That’s probably due to all the sex. Definitely sounded like it was…a workout.” She teased.

“Yeah, sorry about that…” He brushed his hand through his messy hair.

“I’m gonna need to hear the story about how that happened.” She laughed.

“Wouldn’t have happened without you.” He smiled. “I took your advice.”

“Glad to hear you finally listened to me. Guess there really is a first time for everything.”

“Very funny, but um, yeah, I guess I should thank you. She’s amazing and all I had to do was be myself. Crazy right?”

“I guess you had a lot to do with what happened to me tonight too.”

“Really?” He asked with a confused look. “I don’t recall ever telling you to have sex with my roommate.”

“Well, not directly, but uh…that’s a story for another night.” She stepped closer to the bathroom. “Hey Will…” She paused in the door frame.

“Yeah?”

“Best wingman ever.” She said with a smile, closing the door behind her.

She heard his voice on the other side. “I love you too, Emmie.”

She smiled, knowing that no matter what happened, she would never truly be alone.

#wingman #stacy's fics #emma swan #killian jones #captain swan modern au #captain swan fics #captain swan #captain swan au