#healthy communication kink

[fg203]

Yeah so I had no idea that my appreciation of healthy communication could hit kink levels until I found @scarlettohairdye’s fics.

I read I Know Who I Want To Take Me Home first, and daaaamn. Suddenly I realized that while I occasionally enjoy a level of toxic in my fiction I wouldn’t tolerate in real life- that reading about people having open and healthy communication about sex is hot AF.

Then, I read Leave All Your Love and Your Longing Behind. Yay more hot healthy communication, and all sorts of warm fuzzies of awesome acceptance that warms my cynical and jaded heart. I heart Wei Ying’s “weird queerplatonic extended family grouping over two apartments.” Also Bunny, because she is the best and the belly is NOT a trap. And even Bruce because he is a big lover and just needed a friend to teach him manners.

And of course, because of my brain with all the hyper-SQUIRREL-fixa-SHINY-tion, paired with a whoa busy life, I am reading ALL THE THINGS between all the OTHER things that I am reading/watching/scrolling/doing. Which naturally means I read For a Good Time, Call. I am so ridiculously in-love with this modern incarnation of all the MDZS characters, but most especially Wei Ying and Lan Zhan. I love the feelings and the talking about them once they get around to talking about them. I love the neuro-spicy in all flavors. I love wedding planner extraordinaire Jiang Cheng and Nie Mingjue’s “Like I haven’t seen a fucking dick before.” I love the fashion. I love Wei Ying’s (off screen) therapist and want to be her (I am already a snarky and sarcastic asshole to clients who appreciate my snarky and sarcastic ways, I think he would appreciate me). And damnit, apparently I now love Jin Zixuan, and his naked calendar, hanging with cats, and haunted kitchen.

I have actually reread this one in bits and pieces because I wasn’t ready to move on, and sometimes when doing other things thoughts of this would pop up and I’d come back to visit. I am pretty excited that this is part of a series of works and I get to visit this world and particular incarnation of these characters again.

So do yourself a favor, if you are open to modern AUs, enjoy some explicit smut in your fic, and are on the healthy communication kink-train (or want to explore it) - and check out @scarlettohairdye’s work.

#fic rec #faniction #wangxian #mdzs #the untamed #healthy communication kink

[fr-wiwiw]

I made a poll on twitter on which Gahan fanarts I should done first between sfw & nsfw. It ended up with 50/50 results lmao

So here's the sfw done first <3 Zoom in for their small details! You won't regret it hehe.. sketches context are down below the image

I'll be sketching the nsfw later, I have commission progress to do

black colored sketches:

top left - yohan smooching gaon's cheek based on a black & white dove pic from oomf twitter post

top middle - yohan is pissed that someone (you) is stalking & taking pictures of them on their date, gaon is oblivious and wondering why yohan looks annoyed at the fishes. yohan is thinking how to dispose you without gaon noticing

top right - gahan talking about their likings in sex after post coital session. gaon likes when yohan ties his wrists. yohan likes/ doesn't mind gaon's nails scratching deep on his back or shoulder. there's also finger marks on gaon's thighs with how hard yohan was handling him. their toes touching and wiggling, can't get enough of skin contact. they're both clingy for each other

pink colored sketch:

gahan is taking a stroll when gaon notices something & pulls yohan's sweater for attention

orange colored sketch:

yohan leans his head on gaon's shoulder to take a nap after gaon bought a cup hot drink. gaon is surprised bcs yohan rarely leans on him physically in general

#artists on tumblr #the devil judge #digital art #kdrama #fris #fr wiwiw #digital illustration #gahan #kim gaon #kang yohan #yohan #gaon #fanart #tdj #their dating era #established relationship #there's yohan watching closely on stalker (you) and getting pissed off #he's thinking how to dispose you for spying on him and his bambi #gaon doesn't realize they have stalker #yohan will not have gaon worrying over you #they talk about their kinks btw #i believe in healthy communication #that's what will happen to gahan #also look yohan is comfortable enough to lean and take nap on gaon's shoulder

[vrieseasees]

OK HEAR ME OUT ... *nothing comes out of my mouth*

This is where the viewer tries to figure out if that was just a ploy or he was really actually into it *throws hands up and walks away backwards*

cant remember which post i pulled that flashback from... it's somewhere in this blog lol i died when i remembered i drew that and didnt know why

#that's all i have to say your honor #:3c #im afraid to tag this post lmao #nozomu hatori #suzuki touichirou #joseph from the government #is this #does this count for #hatoui #hatou #hatoi #?? #idek what that ship name would even be #wait #would it be funny if hatoui had a healthy well communicated kink thing in the past #to contrast whatever is going on with josetou now?? #just random thoughts that accrue but what if questionsisfdnijsafdn #ill stop now and just quickly hit Post now button before i get too shy to continue OTL #Happy Sunday Funday!

[pleasuremehere]

What are the ways in which people are discriminated against in BDSM and Kink spaces?

Black people can encounter various forms of discrimination in the BDSM and kink spaces by “immediately being fetishized, as opposed to having social interactions that start neutral and then gradually escalate sexually,” King says.

To help you better understand what racism and discrimination look like for Black people in kink, Dr. Murphy shares the story of a BIPOC woman who experienced at a BDSM/kink event:

“I have heard this from a BIPOC woman in the kink/BDSM community where she was at an event and was suddenly called ‘dark chocolate’ and a ‘chocolate chip’ by a White man. He also told her that he hadn’t been with a Black Woman ‘yet.’ While this may have been intended as a sexy or flirtatious comment (I’m being extremely generous here) from the giver, without explicit consent, this is a racist way to ‘tokenize’ or ‘fetishize’ a human being who isn’t food.”

King also shares an example in which Black men can also face racism from White BDSM and kink people:

“In other cases, Black men may receive attention based on the ‘big Black cock’ stereotype. People may seek Black men so that they can be dominated or violated by them in some way, which plays off racist archetypes formed during slavery. The ‘Black brute’ caricature is a stereotype of the massively endowed Black man with insatiable and animalistic sexual urges. They were (and still are) seen as brutal, aggressive, and strong, hence, the reason for rough sex fantasies that involve racial undertones.”

The Black community can also contribute to how discrimination forms in kink spaces. There’s the misinterpretation that because Black people aren’t well-represented in the kink community, these “atypical” sexual behaviors and relationships aren’t for them.

“In the Black community, you’ll likely hear ‘that’s just some freaky, ‘White people s***’ when discussing anything kinky,” King explains. “I think kinky sex is referred to as ‘White people s***’ because we recognize that BDSM spaces are predominately white, and that’s what contributes to the way discrimination is formed in these spaces.”

#black community #black is beautiful #black is sexy #black is gold #black is divine #black is king #healthy relationships #dating #aesthetically pleasing #aesthetic #ask blog #artists on tumblr #art #ask game #asks open #thank you #if you know you know #bd/sm kink #bd/sm daddy #bd/sm community #bd/sm blog #bd/sm brat #bd/sm pet #bd/sm slave #bd/sm breeding #bd/sm relationship #bd/sm dom

[hulk-]

I cannot imagine growing up in today's online climate, with how pronounced the paranoia and performative mindsets over media consumption are.

I watched so many movies and read so many books as a kid. It must be exhausting, having to stop prior to seeing any kind of media and checking if it is somehow "okay" to consume, and okay to share the fact you've consumed it with your peers. Imagine the mental stress that would cause, especially because according to this whole purity culture panic, the main punishment for looking at the wrong media is ostracism.

Humans are not built to handle ostracism well. We're social animals because we die if we're alone, so being ostracized has an enormous psychological impact on us. So the stakes here are ludicrously high. And for what? Whether someone enjoys the Saw franchise, or reads Lolita, or finds the Lannister's relationship fascinating, or has a rape kink?

The pressure to find ways to account for your missteps, to prove you're not as "dirty" as people think you are, is absurdly intense as well. And it is always there. Posting online means you can be seen anytime by anyone, so the sense of accountability is high. The sad thing is, accountability means a dozen different things to a dozen different people. So even if you tie yourself into knots trying to be "good" and "morally superior", at some point, someone is going to point out how you, too, are a "degenerate" like everyone else, just because you didn't meet their strict standards. And at that point it won't matter if you "aren't really a bad person". They won't care, just like you didn't care. They will still attack you. It's really only a matter of time.

And if you don't think it will happen to you, well, that's what everyone else thought too.

#moral of the story is: do not invest your time and energy into these groups. they are not safe. they are not healthy. #you may feel a sense of community being in them now and you may desperately need that for whatever reason. but it will backfire. #if not now then later. if not online through harassment then offline with how your views of other people become distorted. #you deserve better than that. get out as soon as you can. #censorship #social media #minors #purity culture #kink shaming #anti anti #anti #profic #psychology #commentary

[spiral-emoji]

sex is fine to do and want and talk about and good and fun and natural and healthy actually

#sex is also fine to not do and not want and not talk about and that too is good and fun and natural and healthy #sex positivity #sex positive #queer #queerness #sexuality #kink at pride #kink community #bd/sm kink #bd/sm blog #kinktober

[bottom-slut-unionizer]

I'm so glad I'm attracted to bears bc being like naturally attracted to men with bellies already feels 80x healthier than whatever the fuck is going on with muscle fetishists. Definitely better for my self esteem too

#also like steroid abuse is a big problem in the gay community #gay men are 5x more likely than straight men to abuse steroids #so like #im def way happier liking dudes with bellies n realistic body types than being another shallow twink #obsessed with muscles n pressuring dudes to try steroids bc then ill treat them like a normal person #until i forget about them next week n theyre still using them #some of yall dont seem to know that steroids or working out a ton is LITERALLY an eating disorder #prioritizing muscle gain over everything else is not healthy #not psychologically not physically #is this gonna stop you? #no #but will it make you consider the effects your kinks have on your view of normal body types n your own self esteem? #probably also not #but i do hope you get better n realize its better to be ignored by a few shallow twinks than it is to waste #your entire life trying to give yourself a body just so you can get attention from them #i know theyre hot #but theyre not fucking worth it #n theyre not gonna be hot for long #@ my friend johny

[friendlyrejection]

i may think about giving you my gilginity. what would you do with it?

i will own it and treasure it and keep it in a special place in my heart and pussy and we will have a special and unique connection where across time and distance you will remember that your first experience with Dyke Sex was so raw and fulfilling that you were fundamentally changed emotionally and physically because for one glorious evening you will be owned completely and utterly by my power and passion and you will be be forever branded by my fingerprints inside you and you will KNOW what good sex is and forever onward you will expect nothing less and do nothing less for others

#its kind of stupid bcos ‘virginity’ is obviously a dumb concept but its *kink!* so #i like doing nice things for people and also owning them :) #its community service. its a unique relationship ESPECIALLY if its platnoic….. #its the healthy consensusl corruption #let me show you EXACTLY how good this feels :) #let me release all this tension and frustraion and shame and anxiety :) #PLEASE

[valentone]

r u guys going to b normal abt kink at pride this year or r u going to seemingly forget what pride is abt

#ive grown a lot since my initial introduction to the kink at pride discourse #and can acknowledge a healthy relationship adults can have w one another and yhe community that is born from that #and that a lot of moral outrage is seemingly being resurfaced by the 'good queers'

[chaoticgeminate]

Kinktober 2022 - Day Nineteen

Pairing: Javi Gutierrez x f!Reader

Rating: Explicit (If that was not entirely clear)

Series Summary: You’re a fanfiction writer turned novelist, which was great since it was the path you wanted your writing to take you down in life. What you never thought would happen was meeting the Javier Gutierrez, who you actively write smutty fanfiction about from his film with Nic Cage, and you especially didn’t expect him to have a crush on you.

Fast forward several months of dating, with a good chunk of your relationship being distance due to his constant traveling and having to go home to Mallorca, when he surprises you with a prompt list and a vacation planned around exploring it.

You haven’t even worked up the nerve to tell him about what you write and post to Tumblr about him as a character yet.

Notes: Going to be using prompts from @the-purity-pen for my meta as hell indulgence! There are feelings in this (I have no idea how they got there) and I may end up removing some possible chapters here and there depending on how I’m feeling, I apologize in advance if that happens because my brain is super mean sometimes.

Possible Warnings: None, just discussions of safewording and reassurances

Interlude 2 (802)

“Can we talk about yesterday?”

Javi’s tone was soft and you nodded immediately since you knew he’d been thinking about this most of the day, after waking up to breakfast in bed he had practically waited on you hand and foot, it was bothering him and you knew it but he hadn’t been ready to talk when you asked.

Now he was.

“Of course.”

Your agreement practically lifted the weight off his shoulders.

“You said you almost used your safeword?”

“Not because I disliked it, if that’s what you were worried about, it was just a lot at once. You’ve never edged me like that before, not even factoring in that I was bound and blindfolded, so it was just really overwhelming.”

You watched Javi’s jaw work as he listened, one thing about your boyfriend that you appreciated was that he had learned to let you talk and actually listen before he jumped to answer, in the beginning he’d been bad at conversing without rambling; his excitement and how deeply he felt things often leading to times you’d felt like he didn’t quite get what you were saying because he wanted to clarify every little point as soon as you brought it up.

Rather than listening to the entire context, like he did now.

“I was not worried you disliked it; I was actually worried I’d pushed too far. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have needed to safeword.”

 “Javi, the point of safewords is that we check in with each other, right? You and I are new to this sort of thing together, we’re still learning, if we didn’t safeword I would be more worried. I trust you to respect that I know my boundaries just like I trust you to know your boundaries, until we do this sort of thing more, we won’t know how far we can push. Realistically.” His big brown eyes softened and Javi cuddled up to your side, just wrapping his arm around your waist, and you ran your hands through his soft curls gently.

You appreciated that he was checking in, this level of communication was something you truly loved about what you had with him, the fact that he hadn’t entirely ignored how close you’d been to your limit was proof of just how good a man he was.

“I understand, I just- I worry. I know that much of my problems are things I need to see someone about, that once I begin therapy I can start to understand them and myself better, but the idea that I pushed you that far still… it made me feel like I didn’t really know you as well as I thought.”

You scratched lightly at his scalp, propped up on pillows on the bed as the game show that was on played like background sound, and you poked him on the cheek gently after a minute. “Most of our relationship up until now has been stolen time between your time in Mallorca, we’ve been long distance more than we have been together in person, so I don’t expect you to know me that well actually. But that’s okay, Javi, we have time to just be together and learn these things.” His eyes lifted to look at you and your soft smile made him relax against you.

“Can you help me look up a therapist? One who I can meet with over Zoom if I happen to be traveling?”

“Of course, cariño, and if you ever need me to sit in with you or you want them to mediate anything between us, I will do that for your peace of mind.”

Javi’s brows relaxed and he leaned up to kiss you, you felt safe and loved and respected with him like this, and the two of you stayed like that for a spell before you were grabbing your laptop.

“I love you, Solecita, so much.”

“I love you too, Javi.”

Your Twitter was loaded up on the screen, you’d been scrolling through comments, and a part of you was horribly smug over just how many people were defending you versus condemning you over the leak. The people calling you a gold digger, calling you derogatory names, were a vast minority compared to the sea of people calling you an icon and reminding people that you worked hard for what fame you had.

It was funny, when you opened Tumblr curiously, to see all of your mutuals -who didn’t know that it was actually you- sharing memes and photo edits and GIFS of you. Your favorite was where they’d photoshopped a crown on your head and gave you a Game of Thrones style set of titles.

Javi saved the image and even set it as your contact photo in his phone.

“Mi Reina.”

“Dork.”

You silenced his giggles with a kiss.

All Fics Taglist: @hardc0rehaylz @wordsnwhiskey @pagannightwitch @radiowallet @musings-of-a-rose @amneris21 @trickstersp8 @practicalghost @rominaszh @alwaysdjarin @alexxavicry

Just Pedro Taglist: @maievdenoir @beecastle @littlemisspascal @writeforfandoms @AynsleyWalker @lovesbiggerthanpride @mswarriorbabe80

Alt Taglist: @imtryingmybeskar @fan-of-encouragement @grogusmum @sizzlingcloudmentality @deadhumourist @prostitute-robot-from-the-future

Kinktober Only: @nicolethered @katareyoudrilling

#kinktober 2022 #javi g x f!reader #javi gutierrez x f!reader #chaoticwrites #this is that healthy communication kink at play #all fluffy softness here #these two literally give me life and cavities

[roosterbox]

Inceptiversary Day Twenty: A headcanon about your favourite pairing.

@inception30daychallenge

Arthur and Eames have actually been together for years prior to the Fischer Job. Perhaps they met independently from dreamshare, or maybe it’s as it was in Presque Vu. Either way, it’s a solid rock of a relationship. Even as the Cobbs had their issues, A/E remained strong. They would meet up regularly between jobs, doing long distance for all the other days they had to be apart. Cobb has no idea how they do it.

The answer, obviously, is keeping things fun. And plenty of healthy communication. Not to mention fantastic sex. This last point is immeasurably enhanced by the first two, of course.

#Inceptiversary #inceptiversary 2022 #inception30daychallenge #dreamhusbands #arthur x eames #i love a good and healthy relationship #and I have a big ol’ healthy communication kink #lol

[pleasuremehere]

10 Sexy Ways to Ask for Consent from a Partner

"Do you want to take things to the next level?"

"Are you feeling as hot and bothered as I am right now?"

"I can't stop thinking about you. Are you up for some fun?"

"Is it okay if I kiss you right now?"

"Do you want me to keep going, or should we slow down?"

"I'm dying to touch you. Is that something you're into?"

"I really want you, but only if you're into it too. Are you?"

"Can I try something new with you tonight?"

"Do you like it when I touch you here?"

"Is there anything you've been dying to try? I'm all ears."

#add your own in the comments #add your own #healthy relationships #dating #relationship advice #bd/sm kink #bd/sm daddy #bd/sm mommy #bd/sm community #bd/sm blog #bd/sm brat #bd/sm pet #bd/sm slave #bd/sm breeding #bd/sm relationship #bd/sm dom #aesthetically pleasing #aesthetic

[maypersonne]

you know what Tsutomu and Mariko having their big boy coversation and communicating honestly with each other almost make me wish they didn't break up.

#gokinjo monogatari #i just watched episode 11 can you tell ? #healthy communication is my kink #you forget how much bad relationship in media annoy you till you find the good shit #daya's text post (mine)

[fat-piggie100]

Hey guys i lost my former account I'm a submissive

feedee looking for a dominant feeder

#cw food #food mention #comfort food #fast food #food diary #foodblogger #feed me #healthy food #feed #feedee belly #feedee feeder #feedee girl #feedee piggy #feeding kink #feeder wanted #feeding you fatter #feedie #looking for a feeder #feederist #ssbbw feedee #trans feedee #bd/sm blog #bd/sm brat #bd/sm breeding #bd/sm bunny #bd/sm community #bd/sm kink #food and drink #ao3 feed #food

[pleasuremehere]

#Mommy Dom May #mommy k!nk #domme mommy #mommy milkers #1cky mommy #bd/sm mommy #dom mommy #mommy issues #hot mommy #best mommy #sugar mommy #bd/sm brat #bd/sm community #bd/sm blog #bd/sm daddy #bd/sm kink #bd/sm pet #bd/sm slave #bd/sm breeding #bd/sm relationship #bd/sm dom #healthy relationships #dating #aesthetically pleasing #aesthetic #black girl magic #black girl aesthetic #black girl beauty #black girls of tumblr #artists on tumblr

[butchmartyr]

the frustrating thing about discussions of kink for me is that it’s like the gom jabbar test for pulling reactionary sex politics out of people. you’ll see people bringing up (real and worth discussing!) issues of abusive people using the cover of being a dom or liking servant/master dynamics and then they’ll conclude this is why we have to treat kink like nuclear waste, rather than pointing to other issues of consent, power imbalances, lack of communication, respect, or negotiation. (not to mention how the existence of predatory/abusive subs is basically handwaved away because it’s inconvenient to their narrative..) like the problem of shitty guys pushing 50 shades wannabe stuff on their girlfriends lies with their misogyny and lack of respect for their partners wants, not with an idea of them being ontologically evil for enjoying sadism. further stigmatization and demonization just make discussing safe practices and safe communities for informed and healthy kink harder

#sasha speaks