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What are the ways in which people are discriminated against in BDSM and Kink spaces?
Black people can encounter various forms of discrimination in the BDSM and kink spaces by “immediately being fetishized, as opposed to having social interactions that start neutral and then gradually escalate sexually,” King says.
To help you better understand what racism and discrimination look like for Black people in kink, Dr. Murphy shares the story of a BIPOC woman who experienced at a BDSM/kink event:
“I have heard this from a BIPOC woman in the kink/BDSM community where she was at an event and was suddenly called ‘dark chocolate’ and a ‘chocolate chip’ by a White man. He also told her that he hadn’t been with a Black Woman ‘yet.’ While this may have been intended as a sexy or flirtatious comment (I’m being extremely generous here) from the giver, without explicit consent, this is a racist way to ‘tokenize’ or ‘fetishize’ a human being who isn’t food.”
King also shares an example in which Black men can also face racism from White BDSM and kink people:
“In other cases, Black men may receive attention based on the ‘big Black cock’ stereotype. People may seek Black men so that they can be dominated or violated by them in some way, which plays off racist archetypes formed during slavery. The ‘Black brute’ caricature is a stereotype of the massively endowed Black man with insatiable and animalistic sexual urges. They were (and still are) seen as brutal, aggressive, and strong, hence, the reason for rough sex fantasies that involve racial undertones.”
The Black community can also contribute to how discrimination forms in kink spaces. There’s the misinterpretation that because Black people aren’t well-represented in the kink community, these “atypical” sexual behaviors and relationships aren’t for them.
“In the Black community, you’ll likely hear ‘that’s just some freaky, ‘White people s***’ when discussing anything kinky,” King explains. “I think kinky sex is referred to as ‘White people s***’ because we recognize that BDSM spaces are predominately white, and that’s what contributes to the way discrimination is formed in these spaces.”
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