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justatiredghost · 3 years

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Living for the Moment Ch21 A series of glimpses at Klaus’ life if he’d met Dave in his mid 20s. His life isn’t magically transformed, love can’t fix either of them when they’re both homeless and in a bad place. They’re not even really ready for a relationship yet. But maybe a supportive friendship can set them on a better path, the two of them inspiring each other to take care of themselves. It’s going to be a long and bumpy ride, and the question is, when will they actually admit to themselves that they have feelings for each other? Read More AO3

Klaus was pacing, too much energy and nothing to do with it, all too aware that he hadn’t had a hit in much too long. He wasn’t sure if the nausea or shakes were because of the withdrawal or panic, but it was only going to get worse, especially once the ghosts started showing up. He crossed his arms tightly, feeling like he was going to crawl out of his own skin. He never had been very good at waiting.

And this was the worst place he could think of to have to wait around in. He hated being back at the Academy. It brought up too many memories, making him feel like a kid again, useless and miserable. Then again, not much had changed there. He was proud of how useless he’d remained.

Even though he knew Grace had said no one else was home, he still kept glancing at doors, listening for telltale footsteps, anything to indicate Reginald was on his way. It had always seemed like Dad had a sixth sense dedicated just to knowing when to show up to make his life a living hell.

He should steal something from the old bastard. For old time’s sake.

When the door opened, it startled him out of his thoughts and he half expected Reginald to be standing there. He wasn’t sure if Grace, her usual smile replaced with a look of trepidation, was actually better. It felt like his stomach dropped, like he was falling, and whenever he hit the ground, it would probably be more painful than anything he’d ever experienced.

“Your friend is resting now,” she said, which, so far so good, Klaus supposed. “But we won’t know the extent of the damage until he wakes up. I just want you to understand, he lost a lot of blood.”

Klaus knew there was an unspoken, ‘if,’ there. ‘If he wakes up.’ And his mind was all too helpful in providing plenty of horrible outcomes, from permanent organ damage to a coma. What were they supposed to do then?

‘They.’

The realization that he really, truly, meant that hit him hard. He wouldn’t leave Dave to face this alone, whatever happened. It was stupid, this was exactly what he’d worked all his life to avoid. He was a useless fuckup and this could only end horribly for the both of them. And yet, for some reason, he still wanted to try. Whatever the cost to himself.

It was strange, remembering that only a few hours ago he hadn’t been able to decide if he should meet Dave or not. But this was different. He could live with, for once, putting aside his selfishness so Dave could live a happy life without him fucking it all up. But now? He wouldn’t abandon him like this.

“Why don’t you go see him?” Grace said, reminding him that they didn’t have all the information yet. He didn’t even know if Dave would survive the night. She put a comforting hand on Klaus’ shoulder and smiled encouragingly for whatever it was worth.

“Thanks, Mom.”

He felt shaky and detached as he made his way to the infirmary, like this was just a dream. Until he actually saw Dave, that is. Seeing his too-pale form lying there snapped him back to reality and the weight and terror of it all hit him hard. As he sat beside him, he couldn’t help but watch Dave carefully, counting every rise and fall of his chest as he breathed; proof he was alive.

He shivered as he sat there, feeling completely drained, emotionally and physically. He thought about raiding the liquor cabinet, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave Dave’s side. There wasn’t anything he could do, now, but he’d come so close to losing him and right now, all he wanted was to be near him.

“Don’t you die on me,” Klaus said, even though he knew he couldn’t hear him. “Not now.”

The idea of losing Dave, after everything, made him want to laugh in a horrible sort of way that he was afraid might turn into something else. He didn’t want to even think about it. About how much he’d changed because of Dave, despite himself; about the glimpses of what his life could be, things he never thought possible, things he didn’t even believe in that suddenly felt like they could be true.

He was this whirlwind that had come into his life and shaken everything up, making him care about something other than himself for once. Making him want more than the oblivion he had spent his life searching for. It wasn’t fair. Dave was good, actually genuinely good, this couldn’t be how he ended up. Klaus deserved this kind of end, but not him.

He could feel exhaustion weighing on him after the day he’d had, but instead of giving in, he started pacing again. He didn’t know what else to do.

Klaus did fall asleep eventually. He’d slept poorly the previous night, so he’d been running on hardly any sleep even before everything happened, so he wasn’t all that surprised to find himself slumped over in an armchair near Dave’s bed. Grace’s heels clicking across the floor had likely been what roused him, and when he glanced over, he was met with the sight of Dave, awake and alive, and he was pretty sure it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

Grace was in the process of taking his blood pressure, so it took a moment before Dave saw he was awake as well, so at least he’d managed to get his facial expressions under control by then. He wasn’t sure what Dave would have seen otherwise.

“Hey,” Dave said with a smile. He still looked pale and weak, and he didn’t seem strong enough to sit up, but it was just so good to hear his voice.

“I turn my back for a second,” Klaus joked, but something like guilt flashed across Dave’s face, although he wasn’t sure why.

“I’ll need to monitor you for a bit. Try to get some rest,” Grace said, reaching over to ruffle Klaus’ hair before leaving.

Klaus had never really felt awkward around Dave. He had no shame anymore, so he rarely felt awkward around anyone. But Dave especially, they just got along too well, he had always felt completely comfortable around him. Right now, though, he felt awkward, mostly because of the revelation of how far he’d go to help Dave, and what that meant. Maybe there was something wrong with him. So he did what he always did and avoided the topic. Besides, there were other things they needed to talk about first.

“So, are you going to tell me what happened, or what?” he asked, scooting his chair over so he could lean on the edge of the narrow bed.

“It’s not that big of a deal,” Dave said, bringing a hand up to rub tiredly at his face.

“I mean, I’m pretty sure most people would consider getting stabbed a big deal, but you’re lucky I’m not most people,” Klaus joked, trying to get him to stop looking so upset. “I am pissed that a fight went down and I wasn’t even invited, though.”

“I guess I do owe you an explanation,” Dave sighed. “I just mouthed off to the wrong people, it was bound to happen eventually, I guess.”

“Mr Katz, are you telling me you actually picked a fight?” Klaus said with exaggerated shock, hand over heart. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Not the smartest thing I’ve ever done, but then, I never claimed to be smart,” Dave tried to shrug but seemed to think better of it.

“Come on, don’t be stingy with the details,” Klaus prompted.

“I’m afraid I don’t have much more information for you,” Dave admitted. “I don’t even know who they were.”

“Wow,” Klaus said, struggling to think of a time Dave had actually seemed genuinely angry. Especially with strangers, he was usually the type just to ignore assholes and move on. It occurred to him that tbe two other fights he’d gotten into had been because of Klaus. Maybe he was a bad influence on him. “What did they even do to push your buttons that much?

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” Dave said, sarcasm tingeing his words. “But I’m not exactly what people think of when they imagine the ideal soldier. I mean, they’re not supposed to be gay, or critical of the military, and they certainly don’t relapse six times in the last month alone.”

“Oh,” was all Klaus could say, because he hadn’t known, how could he? He and Dave had hardly spent any time together. But Dave always did seem so strong and confident, Klaus couldn’t help but assume sobriety was going well for him. Obviously he had his own struggles and Klaus mentally kicked himself for not paying better attention.

“Yeah,” Dave said, staring up at the ceiling. “My uncle is more like what people expect, which, fair enough. I don’t think these assholes were associated with the VA, I think they just happened to be passing by, but who knows. They’re not exactly above prejudice.”

“So, they started spewing bullshit, and you snapped?” Klaus asked skeptically.

“Not exactly,” Dave said. “I wanted to just ignore them, but then they started hassling a kid I’d seen around the VA, and that was when I snapped. Security chases us all off before a fight could break out, but they must have followed me.”

“We have got to get you better at spotting a tail.”

“Yeah, probably,” Dave said with an exhausted chuckle. “I don’t think they meant for this to go so far. One of them pulled out a switchblade he’d clearly never used before, and as soon as they saw blood, they all freaked out and ran away.”

“Not even gonna be professionals about this,” Klaus said, clicking his tongue in disapproval. “Well, hopefully they got it out of their system and won’t be doing any more stabbing for a while. Maybe we should—”

“I’m sorry, can we talk about this later?” Dave said, closing his eyes. “I’m really tired.”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” Klaus said, taken by surprise. It had just been so nice to hear Dave’s voice again, he had to remind himself of the trauma he’d just survived. He shouldn’t be pushing him like this.

“Thanks,” Dave said, eyes still closed. “For everything.”

“Whatever,” Klaus said, waving a hand dismissively as he got up and headed for the door. “You’ve already bailed me out of a few tight spots, so we’ll call it even.”

On the other side of the door, he had to take a moment just to breathe. He wasn’t sure what was wrong with him. He wasn’t used to going through so many emotions in one night and he still felt shaky. Then again, maybe that was withdrawal. Good thing he still had a stash in his room.

While he was here, Klaus figured he might as well take advantage of the situation. He’d apparently slept through most of the day, and he spent the rest of it enjoying a ridiculously long bath. Then, he went to raid the kitchen. He had his head in the refrigerator with a drumstick in his mouth as he piled more food into his arms. But when he turned to spread his spoils out on the table, he heard the floorboards creak.

He froze guiltily, ready for his dad or Luther to storm in to tell him off, but after a moment, it became clear that no one was heading this way. And, whoever it was, they weren’t all that steady on their feet, walking slowly. Klaus abandoned the drumstick and went to peek around the corner to find Dave, back turned to him, making his way to the front door.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Klaus said. “If you pull a stitch, Mom’s gonna be really disappointed in you, and no one wants that.”

Dave actually cursed under his breath at that, leaning heavily against the back of a chair. “You know,” he said, his voice artificially light. “I was trying to make this easier on the both of us.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m not continually forcing myself back into your life on purpose,” Dave said, turning to look at him. He looked utterly exhausted, barely keeping his feet under him. He ran a hand through his hair, tugging at his curls in frustration. “I know you’d rather move on and you’ve already done a lot for me, you don't have to--”

“Whoa, no, no,” Klaus interrupted. “I tried to meet you. I mean, I was there, but then I got arrested.”

“Arrested?” Dave asked skeptically.

“Yeah! That’s why I found you, I’d only just gotten out and was hoping you’d stuck around. Very, very late, I know, but--”

“You don’t have to do this just to be nice.” Dave crossed his arms across his chest, looking more like he was holding himself, and Klaus didn’t think he’d ever looked so small.

“Hey, this is me, remember? When do I ever do anything just to be nice?” He walked over to Dave, placing a hand on his arm, just wanting him to know he was serious. Dave leaned into the touch, still not quite meeting his eyes as he took a deep shuddering breath.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I know I can lay it on pretty thick sometimes, and I think barging into your life like I did and punching that guy certainly counts. I was afraid of losing you, but I wasn’t thinking about what you wanted, and that isn’t fair of me.”

Klaus just stared at him for a moment, before he remembered he was supposed to say something. Usually, Klaus was the one being accused of being too much. No one had ever wanted him in their life like this, and no one had ever been so concerned with what he wanted.

“I’m here, aren’t I?” was all he could really think to say.

“And I have a stab wound,” Dave chuckled, but it sounded forced. “Promise you’re not just here because you feel like you have to be? I know I’ve been laying on sob story after sob story lately, I didn’t really want to get into all this, you shouldn’t have to worry about my crap. And I definitely don’t want you to feel like I’m twisting your arm”

“It’s cute you think you could possibly manipulate me, of all people,” Klaus said, patting his cheek. “I’m immune to sob stories.”

“That’s not—” Dave started, but trailed off, clearly frustrated and unsure how to get across what he was trying to say, so Klaus continued.

“Besides,” Klaus continued quickly. “I’m pretty sure you’ve been dealing with my crap for a while now, isn’t that what friends are supposed to do? That’s a genuine question, by the way, I have no idea.”

“I guess,” Dave said with an uncertain shrug.

“Well, don’t worry, this is completely selfish on my part. If I were a better person, I would have let you leave.”

“I’m selfish too because I’m glad you didn’t,” Dave admitted.

“I’m still not really sure how this is supposed to work, but—“ Klaus hesitated, so close to saying how completely he trusted Dave. Instead, he shifted direction. “Hey, maybe we deserve to be a little selfish.”

“If you’re willing to put up with the disaster I’ve made of my life, I think we can figure something out.”

“You’re a disaster? Have you met me?” Klaus said, gesturing to himself.

“I’ve just really been struggling,” Dave admitted, looking so completely hopeless and worn out. “I already told you about relapsing. Everything is just so hard and I’ve let it isolate me. I even let it pull me away from my best friend.” Here he gestured at Klaus, to his surprise. “I can’t live like this anymore. Something has to change.”

“What does that mean?” Klaus asked. “You’re not giving up, are you?”

“No,” Dave said with a heavy sigh. “I just have to figure it out, but right now I just feel helpless.”

Klaus didn't really know how he was supposed to reassure him when he didn’t even believe things were going to work out. He’d learned a long time ago not to hope for the best, so he couldn’t advise him, and he certainly couldn’t comfort him. At least he could help him back to bed before he started bleeding again. It was all he could do at this point.

“Come here,” Klaus said, reaching out to take Dave’s arm so he could help support him back to bed.

Apparently Dave misunderstood, though, because the next thing he knew, Klaus was being pulled into a hug. It took him completely by surprise and he froze up before remembering he was supposed to hug him back. Dave leaned into him slightly, a comfortable weight as Klaus helped support him and he hated how much he liked it. It felt safe and warm, completely surrounded by Dave, overwhelming all of his senses.

“Wait,” Dave said after a moment, and now he was the one freezing up. “You weren’t going in for a hug, were you?”

“No, I was going to help you back to bed, but this works too.”

“Wow,” Dave said, but he didn’t actually release him. “Well, this is awkward.”

“You’re such a dork,” Klaus chuckled. “Come on, give me your arm.”

“I think I’d rather sink into the floor,” Dave said, but he finally let him go, letting himself be led along, his face bright red. Klaus wasn’t sure if he was slouched, ducking his head slightly, from embarrassment or just the pain.

“You can do that later when you’ll actually be able to get back up again. You do that now and you’ll probably be stuck there.”

“That’s fine,” Dave said. “I think I’ll just live in a hole in the ground. Any chance you’d be willing to never mention this again?”

“Are you kidding? I’m gonna hold this over you every chance I get.”

It was so nice, getting back to their usual banter. He’d missed Dave, of course he had, but being with him was always so much better than he had remembered. He was just so much more fun, so much kinder and softer, more adventurous and so, so strong.

Klaus cleared his throat and forced himself to focus on something else. There he was, getting carried away again. He had no idea what to do with himself. Maybe there was no saving either of them in the end.

#klaus hargreeves #dave katz #klave #klaus x dave #umbrella academy #the umbrella academy #fanfic #living for the moment #my fic

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sylvie-writes · 4 years

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In the Apple Fields.

Summary: You and Steve go on a double date with Bucky and his girlfriend, Ruth, to go apple picking in Saratoga.

Disclaimer: I know nothing about the 30’s/40’s so plz pardon the lack of detail in my writing and anything that is incorrect, I am trying to expand my writing field.

It was kind of hard for me to write this for whatever reason, so it didn’t go as exactly planned, I hope you still enjoy it though!

Warnings: none. besides my dumb-ass apple puns at the end (it was just so a-peeling) I’m done I swear.

As always, plz pardon any mistakes, the stories are always proofread but I tend to make many mistakes regardless.

Part of my Fall Writing!

“Hey doll! Ya ready for today?”

You excitedly gripped the bright red telephone against your face, your cheeks heating up and a large grin on your lips. In the kitchen, your mother looked back from the stove, to see your childlike giddiness, a smile forming on her own face.

When you were three, your mother and father moved to Brooklyn from Philadelphia, a better job presenting itself to your family. As soon as you moved in, two little boys, a few years older, came up to greet you and your family, the three of you soon clicking. Days later, you came to know them as Bucky and Steve. Your parents were all very close, a tight knit circle soon forming.

And now 21 years later, you all were still just as close.

When Steve’s mother had passed, it was hard on everyone. Mrs. Rogers had the best personality, she was like a second mother to you.

When the news arrived that she had passed, Bucky had tried to get Steve to come over and live with them, the stubborn man refusing. Your undeniable love for him made you do just the same. Relentlessly, you’d bother him, bringing him muffins, taking him for lunch, yet not once did he ever budge.

It was scary to think of Steve ever being homeless or not having any food, for his mother worked hard to make sure that it didn’t happen.

Steve and Bucky were two years older than you, and at the age of five you started developing a crush on the little blonde. Sure, he might’ve been smaller than other boys, but you loved him regardless.

It always crushed you to see Steve getting rejected or teased for the way he looked. In your eyes, he was just as perfect as any other man. As you guys became older, and dating became more prominent, you made sure to be there for Steve. He already had a spot reserved in your heart, if only he knew then. Bucky would try and set Steve up with other girls, but the second they rejected him, the blonde would sit on the sidelines, moping, until you’d find him and spend the whole night with him.

Eventually, Bucky caught on and you even truthfully confessed your feelings, making the man pinky promise on not telling Steve.

Weeks passed until Bucky was finally over the two of you dancing around each other.

“C’mon punk! She’s totally into you!”

“You’ve lost your mind Buck.”

Steve just shook his head and solemnly picked at the french fry basket in front of him. You were out shopping with some old friends from high school, when Bucky knew that now was the time to prep Steve.

“Why would I lie about this? She told me! I even made a pinky promise on it.”

Now Steve was full on laughing not realizing Bucky was being dead serious. When his laughter stopped, he saw Bucky’s unamused expression.

“Wait, you’re being serious?”

“No shit, Sherlock. (y/n) loves you and you need to man up and ask her out, ya idiot.”

“Well, if you are being serious, how would I go about asking out (y/n)?”

“I’m glad you asked…”

And this is the part where Bucky pulls out a 20 slide presentation titled How To Ask Out A Woman.

That morning Bucky had stopped to invite you for lunch later with them, but you politely rejected, for you had a day planned out with some other friends. When you told Bucky he seemed almost ecstatic which honestly kinda confused you.

Later that day, you’d find out.

To be more specific, you’d be sitting on the couch, the doorbell ringing. Opening the door, you’d find a well dressed Steve, red roses in one hand, while the other anxiously swiped at his dangling hair. Soon after he’d hand you the roses, his meek voice would speak something along the lines of “Will you go on a date with me?”

(Sorry about the weird switch of verb tenses)

And of course you were over the moon! Happily, you rushed the man in and kissed him deeply, his cheeks turning crimson red causing you to giggle. The poor thing was so nervous, you were afraid he was gonna have an asthma attack from just asking you out.

Now here you were, a year later. Happy with Steve, enjoying every date.

“I’m so excited Steve!”

You could hear the man’s laughter over the phone, your smiling only growing bigger.

This was your first road trip in New York and you were delighted. Last week, you had even invested in some brown leather loafers for the trip, taking on many extra shifts at the library earned you those shoes and you’d treat them like gold from here on out.

“I couldn’t tell, pumpkin. Bucky and I are gonna go get the car from his cousin’s, then you and Ruth.”

His small sarcastic quip made you giggle some more as you bid him goodbye.

“Okay, I’ll see you then, darlin.”

“See you soon, angel!”

Oh! And that’s another thing.

Since Steve has been dating you, your parents, Bucky, even Bucky’s parents noticed he has a new found sense of confidence.

Hanging up the phone, you sighed in bliss, picturing the lovely moments to come. Unfortunately your daydream was interrupted as your mother moved from the kitchen, folding her apron on the chair beside you.

“You don’t want to be late, now do you, dear?”

With that your mother pulled you away and into the bathroom, grabbing a comb, a red bandana, and some hairspray to pin up your hair.

To match the hairstyle; navy overalls, a red and white striped shirt underneath, and you were soon prepared for the buggy and muddy fields of the apple orchard.

An hour later, Steve showed up at your doorstep, holding a hand out for your own. You hugged your parents goodbye and looped your arm in Steve’s.

The man planted a kiss on your cheek, his arm falling to wrap around your waist, giving a gentle squeeze.

“Hiya sugar! How are you?”

You both slowly walked in sync down the apartment stairs.

“I’m better now that you’re here, honey!”

Turning your head, you threw a small wink his way.

Steve, ever the gentleman, took your small duffel bag and threw it into the trunk of the convertible as you went to the driver’s seat.

Kissing Bucky’s cheek, the man then pulled you in for a hug, disregarding the door separating you two.

“Hey doll-face! Excited for the trip I see?”

You nodded your face and quickly went to the passengers seat.

Ruth sweetly smiled at you, getting out of the car and embracing you in a hug.

Out of all of Bucky’s girlfriends, Ruth was by far the sweetest one, the two of you quickly clicking.

“Hiiiii (y/n)!!”

“Hey Ruth!”

“You look absolutely adorable, girly!”

Looking down at your clothes you smiled and returned the compliment to Ruth, taking in her own outfit. A pair of high waisted denim trousers, a white puff sleeve blouse, black loafers, and her strawberry blonde hair tied in a low ponytail.

The two of you continued to make small conversation, awaiting Steve’s return, who then showed up not too long after.

Ruth pulled down the passenger seat, allowing you and Steve to crawl into the back. With the sun out, and a small breeze, it was the perfect time for the convertible’s top to be off, after all, it was a three hour drive to Saratoga.

The three hours passed quickly as you took in the scenery, Bucky making jokes, and you and Ruth singing along to the radio.

Just as you were fifteen minutes away from the orchard, Steve picked up your hand and kissed it, a way to get your attention. You had been so caught up in helping navigate, and just goofing around, that you hadn’t even noticed what Steve had been doing the whole time. Your head immediately turned towards him at the affectionate gesture, a smile spreading on your lips as Steve showed you his sketchbook.

On the page, a beautifully sketched woman matching your attire, leaning against the car door, her hair slightly blowing in the wind although it was in an updo as yours. Soon your eyes traveled up to the woman’s face, a bright beam plastered on her lips as she was mid laugh, soon your eyes met hers and you came to realize that it was you.

At the bottom Steve penned his name and a sweet note.

For you my love. -Steven Rogers

“Oh Stevie! It’s beautiful!

Carefully, you set aside the picture and flung your arms around his neck, leaving the man chuckling but soon holding you close.

“All right kids, simmer down, we’re here now.”

You pulled back from the hug and shot Bucky a glare in the rearview mirror, to which he stuck his tongue out at you.

As soon as Ruth stood up from her seat in the car, Steve scrambled to get out and around to your side, flinging open the driver door. You giggled at his chivalry and put your hand in his outstretched one.

The four of you walked through the gravel parking lot, careful not to get rocks in your loafers.

The woman at the gate politely greeted you all and handed each of you a burlap sack, explaining that the apples are priced by the pound.

You and Ruth soon interlocked arms and bounded off into the orchard, leaving Bucky and Steve behind who kindly waved you both off.

“I’m not gonna say I told you so, but… I told you so.”

Steve slapped Bucky’s arm that was wrapped on his shoulder.

“Oh shut up will ya, Buck?”

Bucky removed his hand in surrender before heading off to go find you and Ruth, Steve following suit.

Upon discovering you intermingled with the trees, Steve couldn't take his eyes off the sight in front of him. You and Ruth were happily picking the cortland apples for cider tonight, laughing about something you had just said, while playfully throwing apples to each other’s sacks.

In Steve’s mind, no picture could ever justify how beautiful and mesmerizing your smile was. He could just stare at you all day, a smile cemented onto his lips, and to say, that's exactly what happened.

The whole day as you all picked apples, and ran up and down the orchard, Steve was just grinned the entire time, adoring your every movement.

Later, many apples in the burlap sacks, Bucky and Ruth ahead, you looped your arms in Steve’s

You just smiled, taking in the picturesque sunset behind the trees of the orchard. Out of the blue, it hit you that you were in love with this man, and it was about time he knew.

“I love you, Stevie.”

You turned from the sunset to kiss his cheek, the man freezing up and you were about to apologize for overstepping when he opened his mouth for a deep breath.

“I love you too, (y/n).”

The two of you then smiled like lovesick idiots before sealing the deal with a kiss, Bucky’s whistle and cheers ruining the moment.

“I’m gonna kill you, Barnes.”

Bucky just shrugged, turning back to the produce stand. The man beside you let out a small laugh at the goofy banter before gaining a surge of confidence pulling you into a kiss once more. Your eyebrows raised in surprise, soon laying back down as you smiled into the kiss.

“C’mon guys, save it for the hotel!”

Pulling away, you picked up the sack of apples, going to the scale. Steve then offered to pay even after your relentless arguing about it.

The burlap sack over your shoulder, you and Steve quickly caught up with Ruth and Bucky who were already close to the car.

What better way to end a fun day with one of Steve’s terrible puns?

Ruth was locked into Bucky’s side, you doing the same with Steve, when the man beside you dug around in his pocket, an apple now in his hand.

Lifting the apple to his eye, the blonde spoke up.

“I’d say (y/n) is the apple of my eye!”

Cue the playful groans from you, giggles from Ruth and the “atta boy” from Bucky.

“Okay! Okay! Lemme just say that I’d like to apple-ogize for the pun…”

You couldn’t have picked a better boyfriend.

As they say, don’t judge an apple by its peel, and always look on the brighter cider of life.

I promise you will never see a pun from me again.

Taglist: @memissbee @tricereads @buckybarnesthehotshot @bval-1 @tonystankschild

the taglist is open! lemme know if you want to join!

#steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers imagine #chris evans #sebastian stan #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #sebastian stan x reader #chris evans x reader #sylvie's fall writing

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toomanyfandoms02 · 4 years

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Memories // Matthew Gray Gubler x Reader

Sixth blurb request! For @paniconthepitch Requests are still open!

I know this was suppose to be a blurb, but I got carried away soooo :) enjoy that.

I really like this one guys

Summary - Readers boyfriend breaks up with her and she heads to Matthews house, where she recalls all the times she knew she was in love with Matthew.

Word Count - 2.7k

Prompts - "Just shut up and kiss me." & "I need a place to stay."

You know those days where you think they are going so well, and suddenly, the worst possible outcome of the day happens?

That was today for me.

After such a great date night, I didn't quite imagine myself walking down my boyfriends street crying.

Or should I say ex-boyfriend.

I trudged down the road, my fists clenched at my sides and head held as low as it could physically go without detaching from my body. I knew that moving in with him was a risky move, but I didn't have much choice. I had been kind of couch surfing for a while and he offered to let me stay at his house. A stable roof over my head.

Or so I thought.

Now here I was, heading in no particular direction with only a small suitcase dragging behind me, a wallet in my hand and a phone in my pocket. I had been walking for about 20 minutes. Turning down random streets, not really paying attention to what was happening. Here's another question for ya.

Have you ever heard of the saying, 'When it rains it pours.'?

Well I have. And I am currently experiencing it. Just as I turned onto what seemed to be the first familiar street I had seen in the past 20 minutes, it started *raining*. But not just sprinkling, no, I wasn't that lucky. It was a total downpour.

I looked up at the green sign above me.

*Oakland Street*

That was Matthew's street!

See, Matthew and I had been friends for a long time. I considered him family. His mom and my mom were great friends, and still are. She visits Marilyn still. But I rarely see him anymore, he's always busy filming which is completely understandable. And now your probably thinking.

*If he was such a good friend, why didn't you ask him for help when you were couch surfing?*

Well the short answer is that I was embarrassed of being basically homeless. I look up to him and I didn't want him thinking I was a lost cause or helpless little girl.

But I had no choice now.

I trudged up to his door in my now soaked clothes. I was still crying, despite me *really* trying to hold it together.

It was 9:38 and I was hoping he was still up. Chances are he was, judging by the many sleepovers we had in the past where he would stay up until 4 am. I knocked softly on the door, backing up a few steps from it. I wiped my face a little, trying to dry it from tears and raindrops, but miserably failing.

The door opened slowly to reveal Matthew in plaid pajama pants and a white tee. As expected, he was holding a cup of coffee, which he quickly set down on a table near the door.

"Y/n?" He tilted his head, not coming out of the doorway. I was sure I looked like quite the mess right now. Soaked clothes, flushed face, messy hair, exactly what I *didn't* want him to see.

"I need a place to stay." I was now looking down, tears welling up in my eyes again from sheer embarrassment. I could feel my fists clenching together, nails sure to leave bruises in my hand.

"Come in, come in." He waved me in. I kept my head down as I walked through his door. "Are you alright? What happened?" I had a problem with Matthew where I just couldn't lie to him, it had been like that all our lives. He was so hard to keep things from, whether it was because he was my best friend or because it was so hard to look into those soft brown eyes and tell a lie.

"I've been living with Ben for a while, because I haven't exactly had enough money to keep up with rent payments... But he just broke up with me." I looked up to see pity written across his face. "Please don't look at me like that. I know it's pitiful." I leaned my head all the way back on his couch, staring at the ceiling.

"I'm not trying to show pity y/n, I'm just worried about you. Why didn't you tell me you were having troubles?" He put his hand on my knee, shaking it for an answer.

"Because I knew you would look at me like that!" I waved my hands around his face.

"Whatever you say. Just tell me what happened." As soon as I got a few words out, I was tearing up again.

*"I just don't understand Ben! I want to understand! You never talk to me anymore." I was gesturing wildly with my hands, something I had picked up from Matthew at a young age. I was trying to get my point across.*

*"I feel like I'm taking care of you y/n! I don't need a child I need a girlfriend!" His eyes held so much hate, much different from the soft green ones I had fallen for a few months ago.*

*"What are you even talking about? I just got a job Ben. I clean the house every week. I cook dinner for you, and I'm paying part of the rent! What more do you want from me?" I felt so confused and defeated, the longer I talked the quieter my words became. "If you want me to leave I will. Is this some sick, twisted way to say you don't love me anymore?" He went silent for a moment.*

*"I don't love you anymore." His arms hung heavy at his side. Are you kidding me?*

*"Did I do something wrong?"*

*"You're just, you're hard to love y/n." What the fuck is that suppose to mean?*

*"Fuck you Ben! I did nothing to you." I ran to our shared room, packing my suitcase and grabbing my charger and wallett from the side table. "You are a real piece of work." I could feel my body aching from mental exhaustion. "I'll be back to get the rest of my stuff another day." I stood by the door, grabbing the handle. "Hopefully if I'm so hard to love, I won't be so hard to get over."*

"And that was the last thing I said to him." Matthews thumb wiped a tear from my cheek. "I'm sorry, I'm such a mess."

"You don't have to apoligize for having emotions y/n. I'm here for you, always." He had first said this to me when we were in middle school, I thought that was the sweetest thing a teenage boy could say. "You can stay here as long as you want, I miss seeing you around anyway." He smiled, pushing some hair behind my ear. I set my head on his shoulder. It was really hard talking to him about this stuff. I think the real reason it was so hard to lie to him, was because it's hard to lie to someone you are *so* in love with.

Matthew seemed to be out of reach my whole life. It wasn't that he was massively popular, or that we were part of different cliques. It was really just because I thought he could never see me as anything more than a friend.

When I was 13, that's when I fell in love with him. I just didn't know it at the time.

*"Y/n this is so great! I can't believe I got the lead!" Spencer was spinning in my swivel chair that sat at my desk.*

* "I've always told you that you we're good at acting. Maybe you'll be an actor?"*

*No way! I'm gonna be a lawyer or something." He nearly fell from the chair laughing, as if the proposition of being an actor was so out of this world. There was a sparkle in his eye that I had never seen before. It was so refreshingly different from the days he had come to me after school, telling me that some assholes were pushing him around.*

*"I'm so happy for you, you're gonna do amazing! You better not leave me when you're famous." I shoved his shoulder playfully. That was truly a joke, but I could feel, deep in my subconscious, I was afraid that maybe he would.*

*"I would never!" And he didn't.*

But I couldn't do anything about how I felt.

"I don't wanna be a burden on you." I had stopped crying, but I was still slumped on the couch like a wet rag, *literally*.

"You could never be a burden on me. Here." He handed me a picture frame from his side table. It was of me and him when were were 22, it was a surprise party I threw for him. "Do you remember this?"

"How could I forget the first time I got you drunk?" And the night I realized I was in love with you *for sure*.

*Matthew had refused to get drunk on his 21st birthday. He was so responsible that it was nearly infuriating. So when he texted me telling me that someone came up to him on the street and offered him a modelling job, I knew I had to throw a party. Just me him and some of our friends.*

*I led him into my house with 4 of our other friends there. There was a seemingly illegal amount of liquor on my dining room table.*

*"Oh no! Y/n no, you're not gonna get me drunk!" He looked down at me disapprovingly. I stuck my bottom lip out, and gave him puppy dog eyes.*

*"Please Matthew? Just one time? I wanna know what kind of drunk you are." My puppy face turned into a slightly mischievous one.*

*"What kind of drunk I am?"*

*"Yeah! Like sad drunk, funny drunk, angry drunk, sleepy, reckless, philosophical. I wanna know!" I giggled, dragging him over to the table and already pouring him a shot.*

*"Fine, just one time."*

*And I did find out what kind of drunk he was.*

*A lovey drunk.*

*"Brian. You are the coolest person I know!" Matthew slurred, leaning over to our mutual friend. "And Katie is the funniest." He pointed to Katie. "And you! You are my favorite person in the whole world, you know that?" He was now laying in my lap, his head looking up at me.*

*"You are a mess." I laughed, patting his cheek.*

*"I am not a mess! I'm totally coherent! I love you so much! Look at you!" He sat up, kissing my cheek. I'm glad he was drunk because I didn't want him to remember the dark shade of red my cheeks turned afterward.*

*I loved this man, and it was kicking me in the ass.*

"A lovey drunk you called me." He chuckled as I gripped the frame.

"Do you remember all the things you said that night?" I half smiled, remembering the kiss om my cheek.

"Not really, to this day I live in blissful ignorance."

"Well today is the day you know." I giggled, crossing my legs on the couch and facing him.

"Wait! Before you tell me of all the dumb things I did that night, let me get you some dry clothes." He stood from the couch, heading to his room.

"Thank you!"

He came back holding and NYU hoodie and some sweatpants. I snatched them from his arms with a big smile and headed to the bathroom to change.

The only time before that I had worn his clothes was freshman year after an asshole from school pushed me in the mud while we were on our way to study at Matthew's.

*Matthew and I were walking side by side on the walkway, talking about random things.*

*"If you do get a cat, what are you gonna name it?" Matthew asked, keeping his eyes forward.*

*"I think I would name it Leo. After Leonardo DiCaprio, he's a dreamboat." He looked at me with an eyebrow raised.*

*"Really? That dork?"*

*"Says you! You're a huge dork!" I nudged him into the road with a laugh.*

*Just then I heard loud and fast footsteps coming from behind us. Suddenly large hands were shoving me into the nearest mud puddle. I gasped at the cold liquid that was soaking through my jeans and yellow shirt.*

*"Nice outfit y/n!" The asshole laughed, running down the sidewalk.*

*"Fuck you Ricky!" Matthew threw up his middle finger and helped me out of the mud. "Come on, I'll give you some clothes at my house."*

*When we arrived he handed me sweatpants and a Nirvana shirt. I changed into it and Matthew probably laughed for 10 minutes straight. I was pretty short around that time, and Matthew had just had his growth spurt. To make a long story short, I was swimming in those clothes.*

I was now staring at myself in the mirror, wishing I had the chance to get use to the feeling of wearing his clothes.

"Okay! Time to remember an embarrassing night Gube!" I shouted, feeling far better now that I was in warm clothes. I plopped onto the seat, scooting next to Matthew. "Alright. Now what do you wanna know first?" I set my chin in the palm of my hand.

"So, what exactly is your definition of a lovey drunk?" He mimicked my position.

"A drunk who is very kind. They are constantly complimenting everyone around them and expressing their love and fondness. Can even turn a sad or angry drunk to a happy one." I shrugged.

"Okay, fair enough. What did I say that night?" I smiled evily.

"Ok, well, you told Brian that he was the coolest person ever. And Katie was labelled the funniest ever. You gave Mallory ten bucks for all the advice she had given you in the past. And you hugged Alex for around 5 minutes straight." The image of Matthew swaying with Alex was clear in my memory like it happened yesterday. He threw his head back him laughter, his face reddening with slight embarrassment.

"Did I say anything to you?" He stared into my eyes like he was going to find the words there before they came from my mouth. I rubbed my hands together.

"Uh, yeah. You told me that I was your favorite person in the whole world." He smiled at that. "And then I told you that you were a mess. But you informed me, so graciously, that you were *not a mess* and *totally coherent*. Then proceeded to say 'I love you so much! Look at you!' And you kissed my cheek." I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks, I was now looking down at my hands.

"Well you are my favorite person in the world," He tilted my chin up with his hand. "still. Maybe I'm an honest drunk."

"What's that suppose to mean?" I cocked my head to the side.

"Maybe I'm an honest drunk who was just sober enough to be too nervous to kiss you on the lips?" It came out as a question, I wasn't sure if he was genuinly asking a question or he was saying that that is *exactly* what happened. I'm hoping for the latter.

"What do you-" I was interrupted by his hand grabbing my chin.

"Just shut up and kiss me." He brought my lips to his, and of course I didn't hesitate at all to kiss back.

I ran my hands through those curls that I loved so much. His hands gripped my hips as I leaned into him more, I was so afraid that this was going to be a dream.

Like it was so many other times.

As he pulled away I kept my eyes closed, still hoping that it actually happened.

"Hey, are you okay?" He patted the side of my face lightly.

"Yeah, more than okay. How long?"

"Since we were 20. You?"

"Sometime in middle school." I snickered.

"Well either way, far too long." He put his finger under my chin again, bringing me into another kiss.

*Thanks Ben*

#mgg #criminal minds #spencer reid #matthew gray gubler x reader #matthew gray gubler #matthewgraygubler #mgg fic #mgg fanfiction #mgg x reader #mgg fluff #MGG

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princessjungeun · 4 years

Text

Champion

Content warning: violence, blood, fighting, bullying-ish? Talk of homelessness and family issues

The reader i wrote as a black, queer, female. If you don’t like that oh well, use your imagination then :)

You didn’t necessarily choose the flighting life, it chose you. Growing up you didn’t have the picture perfect family that many had. To be honest you couldn’t even really say you had a family. That was until you met Matthew, known as BM.

Before meeting BM you were sleeping on benches, in hostels, or in a kind older woman’s house. One night you were approached by a young man in his late 20s. He offered you a place to stay, he’s pay for your school, and whatever else you needed. At the time you were only a young teenager, so going with him could be risky. But winter was coming and you knew you’d end up dead if you stayed on the streets.

Matthew knew you weren’t straight from the day he met you. He saw how broken you were from not having a family and he understood to a certain degree what that felt like. He knew if he left you on the streets, itd be dangerous for you. A young, black, queer, female didn’t belong on the streets.

BM kept his word and took care of you as if you were his younger sister. He was a trainer by day and fighter by night, competing in UFC fights every weekend. He told you constantly that you were going to learn to fight, but her never actually trained you.

You had a lot of past issues and traumas which contributed to some of the internal anger you had. Matthew often told you that if you tried fighting or even just swinging at his heavy bag, it’d help you feel better. But you always pushed the idea away not wanting to waste time on a coping mechanism you know probably wouldn’t work. He’d asked time and time again if there was anything he could do to help, but you always refused. The thing was you weren’t one to open up about yourself. Besides Matthew you didn’t know anyone really. Even in school, nobody talked to you other than your best friend, Hyunjin and your girlfriend Lia.

You and Hyunjin bonded over the fact that you two lived almost similar lives. He understood a lot of the things you went through and how you feel now.

Whereas Lia...she was different. Lia was the first person you ever met that made you feel something. Lia was the only person that could make you smile by doing absolutely nothing. You definitely don’t look like the type to be with someone like her but you’d go to any length to protect her. Even if it meant you got in trouble, you had nothing to lose anyways.

This was put to the rest one day in school while you and Lia were passing to classes together. You ended up getting in a fight and badly injuring another student.

When BM came to pick you up, he saw the male student you beat up being driven to a hospital. No charges were pressed as you were doing it in self defense, as you had many witnesses to help you defend your case.

You sat at the kitchen table as he yelled at you furiously. “What the fuck are you thinking Y/N?!” You looked down and said “leave it alone i’m not in trouble with the law, his parents aren’t pressing charges.” Matthew asked, anger laced in his voice “that doesn’t matter you could have killed him.” You responded bluntly “but i didn’t. Isn’t that right? Plus you don’t even know what happened!”

The two of you went back and forth for minutes before you were both calm enough to actually explain in detail what happened. “I was in the hallway with my....uh- Lia and this boy touched her ass. And then I told him he needed to apologize and he pushed me and told me to fuck off. Then I told him if he touched me again I’d beat his ass...and he pushed me to the floor and I told him again to apologize to Lia. But then he threw Lia to the ground then punched me in the face. So I started hitting him and I-I guess I lost control.”

Matthew sat in silence for a moment then he said “you’re gonna learn to control it. Come on, get up.” You asked “huh?” He repeated himself “I said get up.” You groaned then followed him outside to the garage. There, hanging from the ceiling was a heavy bag, and weights littered across the floor. Putting gloves on your hand he said “punch me.” Looking at him with wide eyes you said “wha-no I’m not going to-” He yelled “PUNCH ME GODDAMN IT!” You did as he said and full force threw a punch. He caught your hand in his, looking at your fist in his hand he smiled.

It was now that he decided that he was going to take a break from competing so he could train you. In the beginning he was afraid you’d get hurt, although he wasn’t your blood relative, he took care of you like one.

You trained before and after school with Matthew. Running mile after mile, throwing punch after punch, push up after push up. You never got a break unless you were seriously injured. Matthew showed no mercy, although you were like his baby sister, he needed you to be the best fighter in the circuit.

Nobody in school knew exactly what you were doing, but it was evident at the growing muscles in your legs and arms. Also the fact that you were constantly bringing meal prepped food Matthew made for you as your lunch.

You girlfriend grew suspicious of what you were building strength and muscle for, but she never asked. She told herself that if you wanted to share with her what was going on, you’d do it on your own time.

Eventually the day came for your first fight. Matthew woke you up in the morning and you both took a light jog in the morning. He didn’t want to overwork you before your big day.

•

Hours passed as you anxiously awaited your first fight. You were nervous but you tried to play it off, but Matthew could read you like a book. “You’ll do fine. I trained you well. Make me proud ok?” He hugged you and kissed your forehead, this was the first time he truly showed affection to you.

He helped you braid down your hair so it was out of your face. “Look at me.” He held your face in his hands as he applied a thin layer of Vaseline to your face. “It’ll help make the punches slide off...sounds weird but it works.” You let him grease up your face before saying a quick prayer that you’d be ok.

When you walked into the arena loud shouts filled the building. You did your best to not look terrified but it definitely didn’t work. Matthew removed your robe before telling you “it’s fine. Your opponent is a rookie like you, she hasn’t done this before ok? Relax and concentrate...and don’t kill her.” You nodded before doing a quick handshake with him and walking into the ring.

The overhead speaker filled the arena “For the first Rookie fight of the night We have Y/LN Y/N of Korea vs Pranpriya Manoban of Thailand!” You looked up at the girl in front of you, she was definitely at least 21 whereas you were still a minor, almost an adult. The two of you shook hands before starting.

Pranpriya put up a good fight, but you won fairly quickly. You ended up coming out with a busted lip to show for your victory while Pranpriya was knocked out on the floor. Matthew shouted wildly, incredibly proud of you. A smile creeped onto your face as the referee held your arm up, indicating that you won.

•

Fight after fight you won, gaining attention of not only Korean citizens, but internationally as well. You remained the youngest rookie in the circuit, as well as the youngest with the most wins.

You gained the name Ali after Muhammad Ali, although you weren’t a boxer, you had the passion, the strength, and humbleness of Ali.

People talked about you wherever you went. There were constantly cameras following you and Matthew. Lia is still your girlfriend as well. For a while she didn’t know you fought, as she didn’t keep up with UFC news. When she found out she refused to come to your fights. Even though you won almost everytime, she couldn’t bear seeing you get hit.

The only fight Lia agreed to attend was the first and only one you lost. Without a doubt you didn’t make it easy, but you didn’t tap out when you should have. The result was brutal. It was against a champion, Ha Sooyoung. She was a rookie like you but she was known to be violent, beating her opponents until they were just barely able to walk out the ring. Many asked why she was still allowed to fight, as many thought she was violating some type of rule. As it turns out she wasn’t. Sooyoung never once broke a rule.

Sooyoung not much older than you but she was far better at that time. She was known to be vicious and quite talkative in the ring. She’d say anywhere from one word, to a full lecture. Her words got to her opponents easily, making her lethal. At the time you weren’t worried about her, but you learned the hard way not to be so nonchalant. You started out winning but slowly your chance of victory faded.

Making sure to not stay in one place, you walked around the ring. You’d already gotten punched in the face so much your lip was busted, nose with dry blood, and a puffy eye. Out of the corner of your eye you saw your girlfriend watching you.

Sooyoung followed your gaze before smirking and going in for another jab. You fell to the ground and Sooyoung climbed on top of you. At this point your vision was practically gone, your ears ringing. You could hear Matthew shouting for you to fight back, but you couldn’t push Sooyoung off. You felt pain sear through your body punch after punch, kick after kick.

“She’s teasing you! Tap out Y/N! ITS FINE TAP OUT PLEASE!” You heard Matthew shout from the side of the ring. Although you didn’t know what to do, you knew for a fact you weren’t going to tap out, you’re not a quitter. You felt Sooyoung throw a punch, this time hitting your lower ribs. Wind knocked out of your chest and you gasped for air. You felt your body cry for help but you weren’t letting up.

As the last of your adrenaline flowed through your veins you went to punch Sooyoung in the head, but she grabbed your arm. She smirked once more before whispering “K.O.” Everything went black and you fell back against the ground.

Due to that loss you needed a break from fighting to heal. You suffered a concussion, three broken ribs, a broken nose, a broken jaw, ruptured apendex, 3 stitches in your lip and 8 over your eye. The healing process was beyond terrible for you, as all you wanted to do was train again. Your doctor told you that you were lucky, if she punched you at another angle you would have died.

Although you were grateful she didnt go through and do the complete worst, she did get you pretty good. Once you fully healed you weren’t able to forget that night. Solely because of the scar that ran down your eye. Matthew jokingly called you Scar, as your scar closely resembled the Lion King character’s.

You continued training as soon as you got clearance from your doctor. Once again you remained a champion against everyone, except Sooyoung. You’ve never fought her after that night, as much as you wanted to, there was still a fear that she’d do much worse than she already did.

Now you were weeks away from the World Champions. You could have gone last year if you hadn’t lost that fight. It was set that you were to fight the one opponent that you’ve never beaten, Ha Sooyoung.

•

“Baby.” You shook Lia’s leg and she looked up at you, “Hmmm?” You asked “I know you don’t like coming to my fights anymore...but worlds is in a few weeks and it’d mean a lot if you were there.” She responded “of course I’ll go see you at worlds, do you know who you’re fighting?” You nodded and carefully said “um...funny story.”

You stopped for a minute then decided to just rip off the bandaid. “Ha Sooyoung.” Lia froze in your embrace.

“Is that a good idea? I mean I’m not saying you’re a bad fighter...obviously you’re amazing but- She almost killed you Y/N.” She brought a hand up to your face and ran her fingers along the scar on your eye. Lia softly said “I don’t want to lose you.” You kissed her lips softly and said “it’s fine, this time I’ll win. I promise you will never lose me.”

Matthew flung the door to your room open, “What did I tell you about closing the door all the way?” You both in unison said “sorry it won’t happen again.” He nodded and said “Y/N come on we need to practice.” You nodded and stood up, kissing your girlfriend goodbye.

•

Finally the day of World Championships came. You didn’t feel the nerves hit until you were in the ring. Everyone around you was screaming your name, a few cheering for Sooyoung. She looked different this time. Her hair was short now, she looked bigger, stronger. But so were you.

Sooyoung got you pretty good the first round, your cheek starting to bruise from a punch she threw. Your leg already in slight pain from a kick and elbow jab.

She moved around you, eyeing to see if you’d look away. She made a move to kick your side, she missed. Your eyes locked with hers and she smirked “wheres your little girlfriend? Lia is it?” You ignored her but she continued talking “she’s pretty that one. Pretty eyes. Soft smile. That cute dimple, she’s cute don’t you think?”

Your opponent continued to taunt you, knowing from her first victory that Lia was your weak spot. You’d gotten quite a few punches and kicks in, but nothing that was putting you at an advantage.

Sooyoung walked up on you this time trying to knock you to the ground. Quickly you maneuvered around her, so now she was the one on the ground. The two of you went at it, dodging slaps, punches, and elbow jabs.

She ended up rolling over so now you were below her, your one arm underneath her leg. Sooyoung delivered a hard punch to your shoulder and she smiled when you winced in pain. She asked “this is what happened last time right? And your little girlfriend watched me damn near beat the life out of you? It’s a shame she’s going to have to see that again don’t you think?”

You felt her fist collide with your side, she without a doubt broke the same ribs she did before. Putting you in a headlock you felt panic rush through your body. Her voice laced with venom “when will you learn? You can’t beat me. I hope you told her you loved her.” Sooyoung swung again knocking you square in the cheek. As your eyes started to flutter shut, breath escaping too fast for more to come in, a familiar voice ripped through the arena “Y/N!”

Lia

Your eyes flew open at the sound of your girlfriend’s panicked screams. With all your strength you jammed your elbow into Sooyoungs side. She let go of you and with all your strength you rolled over, Sooyoung now beneath you. You could see the look of fear in her eye as your fists collided with her body. Seeing nothing but red you continued punching and slapping her, squeezing your thighs around her torso.

Blood spilled from her nose and ear, her lip busted, eye swollen shut. You jabbed her ribs again, letting your strength and anger take control of you. Even when she’s long been unconscious you were still hitting her. Two large referees pulled you off of her, tears stinging your eyes as you cried out of frustration.

The arena fell silent as you all waited to see if Sooyoung would get up, the countdown boomed through the speakers. “3! 2!-” As it was about to hit one Sooyoung’s eyes fluttered open and she staggered to get up. She limped over to you, looking even more angry than she was before.

Sooyoung wiped blood from her eye before saying “you thought it’d be that easy?” Without hesitation you stepped closer before roundhouse kicking her in the temple. She fell to the floor and this time she definitely wasn’t getting up without help. Screams of your name ripped through the arena and you looked at the referee who deemed you the winner.

Still in shock you didn’t really understand what was happening until you were handed the World Champions belt. You posed for the pictures that were to be taken, however you didn’t smile. It was evident that you were still confused.

When the gate to the ring opened you saw Lia and Matthew standing with proud smiles. You dropped the heavy belt into Matthew’s arms as soon as you could. Throwing yourself into Lia’s arms you sobbed heavily, thanking God you were able to walk out victorious.

The small girl under your embrace held you tight, with every passing second she held you closer. Finally she broke and she cried “I was so scared I was going to lose you”. You pulled away and wiped away her tears “I promised you I wasn’t going anywhere.” You held her face in your hands before kissing her again.

The referee shoved you back into the ring, this time Sooyoung was gone. The only traces remaining of the young Korean woman was her blood stained on the floor.

Balloons and confetti rained from the ceiling, people’s shouting your name filled the arena.

“Ladies and gentlemen. We now have our 2020 UFC World Champion! Y/N ‘ALI’ Y/L/N!” You held the championship belt over your non injured shoulder with a smile.

Once again you were the champion.

#kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop fluff #itzy imagines #itzy scenarios #choi jisu #loona imagines #loona scenarios #loona sooyoung #loona yyxy #loona yves #ha sooyoung

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lampmeeting · 4 years

Note

what are your headcanons for magnus's backstory? i really enjoy picking apart underdeveloped villains to see what makes them tick and building up backstory that Explains why they do the shit they do and... you seem to also have many thoughts about magnus

ohhh!! yes i have thoughts! :D i still haven’t delved super in-depth into his past but here’s some VERY LONG messy, rambly stuff that’s like partially ideas i’ve had already and partially things i’m pulling right out of my ass (seriously this is long i’m sorry haha)

first big thing is that his dad was a really loving, warm person. just a big tall friendly dude, kind of a free spirit, also a veteran (fought in korea maybe? i think that timing would work out if magnus was born in the early 60s). he died in a motorcycle accident when magnus was like 9 or 10. maybe magnus was on the bike with him but survived, not sure how sad i wanna go here. his mom, who had always struggled with depression, fell into a really dark period and magnus tried to be there for her but he was just a grieving little kid. :(

he has an older half-sister from his dad’s first marriage, and she was about 17 when he died and then left the family because she couldn’t deal with it (i don’t think magnus really reconnects with her in any significant way until after dethklok kicks him out).

i’m lifting this straight from marc maron but he’s jewish since his mother was jewish. his mom wasn’t religious though (at least when he was younger). about a year or so after his dad’s passing, though, his mom meets a man through her job and ultimately marries him. magnus’ step-dad is just...awful. very strict catholic. very controlling of his mom. the guy has magnus baptized shortly after the marriage. magnus goes through a really intense satanism phase in his teens as a way to rebel (this is also when he gets into metal - it’s the mid-70s so alice cooper and black sabbath are his faves). even as an adult magnus has a weird, complicated relationship with religion. he’d call himself an atheist but he has periods when he’s more of a misotheist and then other periods where he’s, like, afraid of god. it’s all very complicated.

after high school he decides to enlist in the army just like his dad did. he has no fucking idea what to do with himself so he thinks if it worked for his dad, it’ll work for him. wrong haha, he hates it. he picked up smoking and drinking in his teens, but the army amps those vices up to 11 and he starts experimenting with drugs too, mostly acid. surprise surprise, he gets in trouble for buying shit off-base from an undercover cop, and he’s dishonorably discharged. :O

his step-dad doesn’t allow him to come live back home after that, and his mom just defers to him now, so magnus spends a while living out of his truck. it’s a bleak time. he’s in his early 20s. all he’s got is his car and his guitar and a few other possessions. starts busking. for him, it’s humiliating work. spends most of his money on cigarettes and alcohol. somehow he ends up gigging at a local dive bar and gets a job washing dishes in the back. over the next few years he’s in and out of various bands, but he never really saves enough money to get a place. it’s kind of his weird secret, that he’s still living in the truck. he has a few relationships with various people, some bandmates, some fans, one coworker. they only ever last a couple months or so until they get too close and magnus starts itching to be by himself again, even though he’s miserable alone. but that’s preferable to having someone in his space all the time, knowing his business.

it’s during this time, too, that he picks up his heroin habit from a bandmate (that’s why the band dissolved, they all got addicted) but he tells himself he’s got it under control (the mental gymnastics with this man...). eventually he decides he’s done with bands, he’s just gonna play solo since he’s obviously more talented than anyone he could possibly play with. makes a pretty good name for himself, plays some local events, has a few solo albums that do all right, but no mainstream attention or anything.

it’s pickles who reaches out to him when magnus is in his early 30s (it’s like 1994 or something). wants to know if he’s at all interested in going back to his metal roots because they just had to get rid of their previous lead guitarist due to heroin addiction. magnus admits he’s interested, comes to a practice session. the guys are all phenomenal, and magnus sees some serious dollar signs. dethklok starts getting huge pretty quickly after that. they ditch their older manager at magnus’ insistence that he’s holding them back, and pickles knows a guy and gets him on board (hello charlie!). they all buy into a huge apartment so they can live and practice in the same place. there’s talk of a recording contract. everything’s looking up, even if they’re all starting to bicker behind the scenes.

it’s around this time that magnus hears from his step-dad that his mother died. a month ago. it was a lovely funeral, but he didn’t want magnus there due to his history with drugs, didn’t want him to make a scene and “act crazy”. after that magnus begins to slip. his addiction and depression spiral. he’s blowing up at people left and right, feels out of control. the only thing he thinks he can control is the band, and his grip tightens hard. he butts heads with pickles quite a bit, who definitely suspects something bad is up with him. magnus fears there’s talk of getting rid of him, and his paranoia makes him try to assert even more control.

finally we reach That Night. we know what goes down. magnus finds himself kicked out with his gear, homeless again, face busted. he gets in his truck, shoots up, goes for a drive for a while, feels good. when he comes down, though, he’s furious and his face fucking hurts and he wants to fucking kill something. he drives back to the apartment, finding everyone either out or asleep. he makes a move for nathan’s bedroom door, intent on finishing the job, but he doesn’t. and then he just gets pissed off at himself, wrecks up the place, and drives away again. he keeps telling himself he should just drive off the road and end it, but he doesn’t, and when he crosses state lines into new mexico he realizes he’s been driving to his half-sister’s house this whole time. they’d talked occasionally over the years but not much, but the moment he knocks on her door she takes him in with no questions asked. he doesn’t want any doctors so she just tends to his face as best she can, and when he starts to detox she looks after him. his sister makes her living as a reiki healer and is super into crystals and meditation and stuff, so while he’s living with her she tries to help him get his energies all aligned and whatnot hahaha... she’s also a recovered addict so no alcohol or drugs in the house. it’s a really weird time for magnus, but it’s good too. he probably ends up living with her for a few years, just keeping a low profile, playing guitar, trying to heal from shit.

dethklok gets huge very, very quickly. he tries not to pay attention but soon enough he’s seeing billboards for their album and tour, interviews on TV, magazine covers. a documentary comes out on MTV about the history of the band, and there’s a whole section about magnus with photos of him and people talking about how angry and controlling he was. they interview the band, people he played with in the past, old flames. his sister says she was approached for it, but she declined to comment. magnus is distraught, and almost overnight every time he goes into town for anything someone recognizes him and gives him shit (or worse, recognizes him and wants him to tell them all about dethklok). he gets things thrown at him, gets his tires slashed, gets approached for sex but only because of his connection to the band. dethklok fans at this point are getting even more zealous.

he has a really bad night and considers just shaving his head and beard so he won’t be recognized, but he can’t bring himself to do it. he starts drinking again, hiding it from his sister, and eventually just leaves in the middle of the night without a word. calls her in the morning when he reaches a stopping place, apologizes, confesses he’s off the wagon. she wires him some money, a pretty significant amount, and tells him to get an apartment and take care of himself. magnus, surprisingly, does just that. he feels it’s the least he can do to repay her kindness.

he still drinks, but i don’t think he gets back into drugs until he starts doing the rock camp thing years later. being around those old washed-up musicians and being “ex-dethklok guitarist magnus hammersmith” makes him feel like shit, even if the money is good, and most of these dudes are still using. heroin’s not chic anymore, though, it’s all about pills.

the assassin knows exactly what he’s doing when he shows himself to magnus on the anniversary of his mother’s death. offers him a chance to take his life back, to help change the world, to make sure dethklok gets what’s coming to them once and for all. magnus had all but given up hope on ever escaping from their shadow, but this...the assassin makes some sense, so in the middle of the night he agrees, and in the morning he finds an address scrawled on the wall in blood. and the rest is history i suppose. :’)

#magnus hammersmith #i've been plugging away at this for a while sorry it's so long again ahhhhhh #some of this might change eventually i dunno!!#this is what i've got right now though #tw suicide #just in case #this gets a little grim :\#i mean this is magnus we're talking about #my writing #and-die-in-the-west

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lets-read3 · 4 years

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7-11

Hi. So I made a Solar Opposites fanfic. I like how it turned out and am very proud. I had written one before this one but it felt too serious so I redid it. I feel good for contributing so HERE YOU GO I MIGHT POST ON AO3 I’ll post the Ao3 version as well if I do.

(Summary: Ansel fucking Elgort. Not even google thinks your name is spelled right! Damn now I get why Korvo sent him to the hell dimension... Oh, do you wanna know too? Read my fanfic! ... I try to be witty I do.)

A month. They've been on Earth for one fucking month. Korvo hated it. He hated it with a passion. From their stupid monthly calendar to their denial of alien Jesus but this. Oh, this made Korvo angrier.

Terry was on the couch crying his eyes out. Buckets of Baskin Robbins and Cold Stone ice cream were scattered all around the floor. Cookie Dough, Neapolitan, Rocky Road, Rainbow Sherbet, if it's a flavor; it's there.

Korvo could hear the sobs all the way from the ship. It wasn't a surprise to hear Terry scream or shout at one human thing or another, but these were cries that the next galaxy over could hear. Korvo begrudgingly got up from his work and lovely manuals to check on the melodramatic alien.

Korvo came upon a scene that, if it was someone else, he would have laughed at how ridicules they looked. But this was Terry. He always looked ridiculous which made him less funny and more stupidly annoying. Jesse was doing her best to comfort Terry while Yumyulack stared on at the TV. The Kardashians. Another reason he hated Earth.

"Korvo! Terry won't stop crying and I kinda know what he's saying? But not really!"

"He said something about darkness and light-"

"HE WAS MY LIGHT!" Terry's cries cut Yumyulack off, which resulted in an eye roll from the young replicant. Korvo made his way to the other side of Terry. He might not be very emotionally smart but he knows how to give orders dammit.

"Terry! Stop crying and explain why you need to be this obnoxiously loud!" Terry sniffled and looked at Korvo with sadness.

"He left me!"

"Who left you?"

"MY HUSBAND!" Terry was back to crying his eyes out, yanking a rainbow sherbet off the ground and shoveling it in his mouth. It was a gross sight really.

"Wait, Terry, you got married? And I wasn't a flower girl!?" Jesse looked thoroughly insulted. Terry gave her a guilty look filled with tears.

"Sorry Jess, but it was in such a quick burst of passion, we couldn't wait to tie the knot forever... FOREVER!" And he was back to crying. Korvo was silent through this. But taking a closer look into his planty insides, there was a storm of emotions in his head.

'Did he say... HUSBAND!? What the fuck Terry! Only you would be so stupid to get a Vegas wedding! God dammit, and what about me HUH? AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!?' Korvo was close to voicing these thoughts but then he really looked at Terry. His eyes were blotchy and red, his lip trembled and he would hiccup every time he sucked in a breath. Most, if not all, of the pints of ice cream, were empty or very close to being empty. He had been sitting here for some time now, in his sad little huddle.

This bitch hurt Terry. His Terry.

Korvo grabbed Terry by the shoulders and stared him down.

"Who hurt you?" He said more like a demand. Terry looked back with shocked eyes at how determined and slightly intimidating Korvo looked. It was kinda hot, but Terry couldn't think that way in his cloud of misery.

"We met at the movie festival that was in town last week. His name is Ansel Elgort and a day after we meet we got married behind a 7-11 in a fit of passion. God what a hot slice of ass; and he was nice. Then yesterday, after we made passionate love, he said we couldn't be together anymore because he was going to be in a movie that would make him a household name and he couldn't be with me because I wasn't famous enough. I could be famous! But he had already filled out the divorce papers and left me." Terry's eyes started to fill with tears again but he was determined not to let them flow out just yet. Korvo released Terry and walked over to the front door.

"Korvo where're you going?" Jesse called out.

"I'm gonna go to 7 fucking 11."

Korvo had not so nicely threatened the 7-11 employee to tell him where Ansel Elgort was. It's fine though, he left a 20 dollar bill in the tip jar. It balanced out. He was on a mission to find a baby bitch, there was no room for niceties. Korvo made his way to the airport where Ansel was supposed to get on a plane to LA.

Korvo wasn't going to let that Fault In Our Stars moutherfucker get away. No. Fucking. Way.

Korvo looked over the sea of people until he spotted the Andrew Garfield wannabe. Korvo muscled his way through the crowd and came face to face with Ansel.

"Can I help-"

"You know Terry?" Ansel looked shocked, then very nervous.

"I-I don't-" A big man with sunglasses came up next to Ansel.

"Is this guy bothering you Mr. Elgort?" Korvo looked at the shielded man then smirked.

"Nope, we were just leaving." Suddenly the bodyguard was shrunk to the size of a pea. Korvo grabbed Ansel and hoisted him over his shoulder.

"The fuck man!?"

"Your trip's canceled billionaire boy!"

Terry was shuffling through the kitchen looking for more Oreos when he heard a scuffle in the back yard.

"Wait man-!"

"Shut up- Terry! Get out here!" Terry raced outside and couldn't believe what he was looking at. A bright blue orb has open next to Korvo and a disheveled looking Ansel Elgort.

"Korvo what-!"

"Ansel has something he'd like to tell you," Korvo pressed the shrink ray closer to Ansel's temple. "Right Ansel?"

"Y-yeah! I'm sorry I dumped you Terry but I want to chase my dreams as a successful actor... Also, I've been seeing my girlfriend again so I didn't really need you anymore."

"We were married!"

"Not really! I was super drunk and I just told some homeless guy to officiate our marriage." Terry's eyes were painted in hurt but he couldn't help the longing to hold Ansel; he was his first human love after all. But before he could go for him Korvo lifted Ansel off the ground and threw him into the swirling blue hole. Terry shrieked and went towards the hole but it was gone in a flash.

"Korvo where did you throw him!?"

"The hell dimension."

"Why!?"

"Because I couldn't have you mopping around the house like that, it kills morale. You're of no help to the group if you're too depressed to do anything other than cry." Korvo grabbed Terry by the shoulders again that day and fixed him a determined stare. "Now that he's gone I want you to focus on yourself right now, You don't deserve someone who's going to leave you for a paycheck and he was using you to get over his girlfriend; you're more than just a rebound Terry. From now on I want you to think before getting into a serious relationship with a human, some of them aren't as nice as you think. White supremacists still exist remember? If you're just chasing ass don't fucking marry it okay? Are you list-" Korvo was cut off, being held in a warm embrace. Korvo wasn't used to being hugged.

"Okay, Korvo. I'll hit it and quit it from now on." Terry said, his voice muffled in Korvo's chest. Korvo patted Terry gently on the back. Ya know those types of hugs. The kinda hug you don't return because you're afraid of social interactions and love. But that's for another story. For now, Korvo just enjoyed the warmth. Terry broke away and looked at where the orb once was.

"So he's really gone? I can't even call him?"

"Terry."

"What? The wound is still fresh and I miss him!" Korvo rolled his eyes and made his way inside.

"Whatever. I'm gonna go work on the ship so don't wait up."

"You better not take all night, I'm still fragile! I need a cuddle buddy for at least the next two weeks!"

Cuddle buddy huh?

Maybe Ansel Elgort wasn't so bad.

(A/N: I DID IT! Omg it’s 3am but I LOVE HOW THIS CAME OUT! Short and sweet. I was gonna do something longer but I kept getting frustrated so I made this. Can you tell I googled stuff about Ansel Elgort??? Anyways thanks for reading, much love!)

#solar opposites #tervo #shit I think it's tervo #dammit fine #whatever ):(#enjoyyourself #its 3am #DONT FUCKING JUDGE ME #Im seriously not this loud in person #...at first >)#fluff #husbands #I mean roomates #(no I don't)#terry #korvo and terry #korvo #jesse #yumulack

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anth-seeing2019 · 5 years

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Looking Prohibition: The homeless in Clifton

Alexi Frick

Living in Clifton for the last three years has made me an almost lax observer of the homeless and those less-fortunate who inhabit the area. I’ve always found it very interesting to see how people interact around the homeless and what they do when they’re approached by someone they probably don’t want to be around. Especially when you’re dealing with parents from the suburbs or affluent kids who really have never been around these issues and are experiencing a sort of culture shock. I always hear that you should just ignore them, not look at them, pretend they’re not there, all of the above. While this isn’t an outright written rule in a constitution or anything, it is still advice a lot of parents probably give their kids right before they move to an urban area. At least my parents did, and I’m sure a lot of other parents in the predominantly white, middle-class town where I grew up did as well. This looking prohibition, of acting like another human being doesn’t exist simply because they’re begging you for money, is something I find very interesting and very poignant in a country where the gaps between classes just keep growing and growing.

To start my experiment, I tried to find a place where there is usually a high volume of people and also a place where I’ve had several encounters with the homeless. The first place that came to mind was the Clifton Krogers. Well, the parking lot to be exact. There’s usually three or four people who I regularly see begging customers who are walking to their cars. Today there was an older African-American lady with pretty beat up clothing who was constantly scratching her neck and arms. She noticed me and came up to my window, and when I told her I only carried a card on me and apologized, she said “God bless” and politely left me alone. I witnessed a lot of college-aged kids walking by her and I’d say the majority of them outright ignored her and acted like she wasn’t even there. I noticed this more with straight couples and groups of men. People who were alone walking into Kroger’s interacted with her more, but not by a large margin.

I talked to one of the security guards always standing outside of the Krogers about the regulars he sees in the parking lot. He said that, for the most part, there’s never really issues with them. “I really can’t do anything unless one physically starts to assault someone. But I haven’t seen that happen yet. For the most part they’re ignored until they go away.”

One of the things that I think is interesting about this space is that there are more factors than one going into these panhandling interactions. The Kroger customers just spent money on groceries, they want to get them in their car and get them home, they don’t want to hang out in a Kroger’s parking lot. So that itself could factor into the decisions they make when interacting with the homeless. For the most part, they don’t feel threatened as well. The customers know that there are security guards, cameras, and cops always posted in the parking lot. So I’m sure people feel a little more at ease when dealing with a beggar in a very public space like this. I talked to a man who was unloading his groceries in the car next to mine pretty briefly, and found out exactly that.

“Yeah, I mean I never really think they’re gonna pull anything or threaten me. But there is always that fear, because you never really know. But yeah, there’s literally a cop car parked 20 feet away so I guess I feel like I can just ignore people like her and not really be afraid they’ll try to rob me or something.”

After about ten minutes another car pulled up next to mine, so I planned to ask whoever came out how they felt about panhandlers in this parking lot. This time it was two girls, around my age.

“Honestly they don’t bother me, I’m pretty used to them in Clifton and kind of just ignore them. Like I stopped giving them money, but every now and then I’ll give them a dollar or something. This lady I’ve seen here like three or four times, she’s always around. I don’t really like looking at them, because I am a girl so I kind of have to worry about if a male takes my gaze the wrong way or something. But this lady is pretty nice, I feel safer interacting with her.”

Her friend spoke out and said something pretty interesting.

“Yeah, she’ll actually remember who she asks and if she asks you for money when you’re going into the store, she’ll remember you when you walk out and won’t ask you again. I just feel like you never see homeless people doing that.”

While a lot of times it was hard to hear what people would say to her, since I didn’t want to just follow her around the parking lot, I still heard some things here and there. A few “go aways” were probably the rudest remarks I heard, I never witnessed a really harsh response or physical threat or anything like that. In terms of power relationships, I think in a lot of these cases the homeless person, or beggar actually has more power than the person they’re interacting with. If something or someone is making you avert your eyes, or completely ignore something that’s a few feet away from you, then that thing has the power in that situation. While the beggar may not have money, and the other party does, the beggar is still the one in control of a social situation regardless of whether they even know it. I noticed a lot of people going out of their way to avoid the woman I was observing, even if it meant a longer walk to their car. That right there is power over other people.

Tying this back to Garland-Thomson is interesting, because I think she would be more interested in the lack of staring going on in situations like this. She states that staring is a form of communication, and that when we stare at somebody we are sending them a message. And while people do stare at the homeless, they do it more from a distance, where they won’t be bothered. When the homeless person is actively interacting with a person, that person puts up blinders and stare at anything but the beggar in front of them. In Chapter Four, Garland-Thomson says that it isn’t civil to “stare at those beneath us”. While I do think this rule has something to do with people outright ignoring the homeless, I think the annoyance of the situation, of interacting with a panhandler, has more to do with it. It’s not something you want to deal with when you’re just going about your day. I asked my roommate how he feels when he’s going around Clifton and ends up in a situation like this, and had a pretty casual conversation with our friends about it.

“It’s just annoying, I really don’t like to be an asshole but I also can’t just give every person a dollar. I don’t like to think about those people’s situations, honestly. It just makes me feel guilty and like I should be helping them.” One of my friends chimed in that he likes to observe the homeless, kind of just for fun.

“Just like, when I’m in my car or across the street and know they can’t talk to me, I’ll look at them and try to figure out what their whole deal is. Like how they got there. I dunno, I don’t really think about the staring part, but I guess that could come across as rude.”

I asked them what he thinks about when he stares at them.

“Like I said, I like to think about how they go to that position. A lot of the times I assume they’re, y’know, on crack or something. Like I know not all of them are, but like a lot of the times I really think they’re either boozing a lot or just high off some shit.”

This kind of opinion relates back to Segal’s visual typification. While my friend wasn’t assuming that all Jews have curly hair or a stereotype like that, he was assuming that most of the homeless people he sees are high off of some substance or are just going to use the panhandling money to buy alcohol.

“…we must recognize that all of our sensory typifications are, in common, social constructions, and that their relative reliability must be understood by examining them as social constructions.” (Segal, pg. 238)

This Segal quote really sums up the bias that all panhandlers are high and just want money for drugs or alcohol. That opinion, shared by one of my friends, is a social construction that modern society would have us believe. I think it’s a lot easier to tell yourself that drugs and alcohol did that to someone instead of life, and the world itself. Because then that barrier between you and them gets a little weaker, when you realize that maybe that could be you. So I think people like to ignore that idea and assume that they’re just cracked out instead. I think, when it comes down to, people have their own reasons for interacting or no interacting with panhandlers and the homeless. A lot of people are told by society growing up that these people aren’t “regular” and that you should just ignore them. But in a very unstable economy, and in a country that has just begun to pull itself out of a financial crisis, I think homelessness and beggars are becoming a much more normalized part of society. Or, at least they should be. References: Thompson, Rosemarie Garland. Staring: How We Look. Oxford University Press, 2009.

Segal, Daniel A. Can You Tell A Jew When You See One?; Spring 1999; 48

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ashavant · 6 years

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The American University System: Oppressing the non-elite.

So let me get this straight...in the 70's there was a community outcry to lower the amount of tax money that got put towards college tuition for future generations? American tax payers used to cover over 70% of college costs, allowing the young students straight out of highschool the ability to work a minimum wage summer job to literally pay their entire tuition. Those with part time jobs while in school were not very common. This allowed for an ability to succeed without the unnecessary baggage of financial stress and lack of sleep at 18 years old while taking 14+ credits, which for those of you who dont know is a true 40-60 hour work week alone. All of this hard work and achievement paved the way for these kids to enter adulthood as educated, debt free, and with the world at their fingertips. Not to mention, they had the incredible privilege of not having to become a self sufficient adult in the middle of the worst economic crisis since the depression...

Compare that romantic reality to our drastically different reality today. I will use my experiences as an example for this, while probably on the extreme spectrum of experiences, they are valid and carry merit nonetheless. I was always told as a child, "you have to go to college, its not an option" Yet, when i graduated highschool, my parents grew quiet. I grew up in a 5 person household in Orange County, CA (one of the most expensive places to live in the country) in a family who made roughly $40k a year, give or take (thats poverty folx). My step-father was an electrical contractor so income was often spuratic. Anyway, needless to say they had not one penny saved for my college tuition. My parents failed to put a single penny aside for anything regarding my well-being honestly. With no car, no money, no job, and no idea when or how I could recieve a college education, I was kicked out of my parents at 17 years old with nowhere to go. I couch surfed and was able to get a couple jobs, one at a crafts store and one at a sandwhich shop. After 2 long years of working my way out of homelessness, all I wanted was to start college! So, at age 19 I applied for financial aid. However, I was told because I was under 25 I needed my parents tax information. Well, my parents never filed on time and were incredible dodgy with communication. So, after months of going back and forth I ended up paying out of pocket for a full time coarse load at a community college. I was able to work my jobs and pay this, but with nothing left over for rent or food. I ended up getting kicked out of my place, had to apply for foodstamps, and had to start over from square one. Little did I know I would have to wait 5 years before I could finally give college another shot.

I had almost given up the idea of higher education. I was making good money in the food industry at this point and had a nice company car and a great home with an awesome roommate. But then, I met a boy. We traveled the country for three months with his bluegrass band and saw 32 states. Afterwards, we again found ourselves broke and homeless. We hunkered down, worked 80+ hour weeks, saved up, and moved to Portland Oregon, "where young people go to retire". Little did we know, retire would be the LAST thing we did when we got there. Cost of living was rising in Portland, but still nothing compared to Orange County, CA. We got good food jobs and nested for about a year. My boyfriend (we will call him N) got great grades in highschool and high test scores in his exit exams, so in 2014 he chose to get back into school as a Music Composition Major at age 26. His journey is a whole other terrible story. I wanted to return to school so badly, but knew I had to wait until I was old enough to not warrant my parents tax info. Finally, at age 24 I filed my FAFSA and went to a career counselor. I was directed in the career of Civil Engineering. Having no prior knowledge of this career or topic, I dove in blindly headfirst. I chose a community college due to the fact that I barely finished highschool and did not take ant exit exams. To my surprise, I did very well in my college settings. After one year I was able to transfer to a university! Me! I WAS GOING TO A UNIVERSITY! I could not believe it, and was soo excited. I had no clue how hard this would be, not the work, but just surviving through it. I should mention here that I have a mild dissability. I have endometriosis which is a chronic illness linked to hormones, ovarian cysts, and all that jazz which can result in disabling pain and in my case an emergency surgery from time to time. I also suffer from a mild form of PTSD. So, with those alone handling high stress loads can be very hard on my mental and physical well being.

Ok, so I was a 24 year old first generation college student (first person in my family to go to college) disabled lower class person wanting a higher education. Seems logical right? Well, once I got accepted to the university, I chose to change my major to Architecture, I had taken an intro class for general ed and fell inlove. My beginning of my first year was great! Lots of lectures and reading. Aside from my tuition multiplying literally 3x from my community college tuition which did not affect my financial aid disbursement, I was fairly stress free. Now keep in mind, my partner and I are both working 20-30 hour weeks to make ends meet while taking 12-14 credits. Its basically having 2 full time jobs. Anyway, the last term of my first year came around-my first studio class. I was so excited! Time to actually do architecture! I got the syllabus and was told was supplies were needed to be successful in the class. I was also told that doing all of the requirements for the assignment would result in a C grade, if any grade above that was desired extra work had to be put in. I thought, no biggie, bring it on. The next thing she said was, "absolutely no sleeping in the studio!" Thats when I had a feeling I was gonna be in trouble. After class I went to the art store got my supplies. I almost started crying as they read my total to me: "$682.80, please." And that was with my student discount and not including all of the future supplies I would need just for that term, which I will tell you now after all the drawings and models ended up being about $2,000. That is a whole lot. These studio classes also require many all-nighters just to have enough time to complete the assignments. Many times, due to having to work outside of school I could not complete my assignments or had to do them with less craft and care than I would like just to turn it in. This year, I recieved less in financial aid, my rent has gone up significantly, tuition went up, and there are new grade requirements: if you get anything less than a B-, youre immediately dropped from the school of Architecture. So, not completing assignments isnt an option anymore. This last term costed my much less money, but once I told my instructor I was out of money, his response was, "well, this is Architecture school." What the fuck am I supposed to do with that!? A roll of Velum (drafting design paper) costs $50-$70 pencils are $2 a piece, models cost like $100 each, the list of tools go on and on. I am already paying $10k a year for tuition, ensuring at the very least $70k of debt including my masters degree which you need to get your Architecture license. And at least $100k with the $500 a month I need to borrow a month for rent. I should not need to add thousands more of that for supplies my school should be providing. And this insane pressure of pulling all nighters to get done the amount of assignments it would take us to do in a whole week last term in 2 days!

The moral of this very long story is that college is not meant for those of us trying to climb the life ladder. Its meant for the already elite. Its meant for kids right out of highschool with parents who make enough money to pay their tuition, their rent, their whole lives! Meant for kids who travel to Europe for the summer instead of working 60 hours a week to make up for the money lost during school cuz you physically cannot work more than 25 hours. Its meant for kids who can call their mommies and complain about how mean their teacher is, not for those of us who cry every night about being afraid of ending up back on the streets in the snap of a finger. Its meant for kids who can work and think about school all day every day, not those of us preoccupied with being able to pay all of our bills and being able to afford food and health insurance.

HOWEVER, even if you are like me, worse, or better, YOU CAN DO IT! I have a damn 3.7 GPA. I may only get 3 hours of sleep a lot, cry almost weekly, probably have lost years of my life due to stress, and feel scared for my health, but shit IM FUCKING DOOOOIN IT! Even though our government, or school presidents, and pretty much everyone in power disagrees, you are so worth it and you are so capable of success no matter how much harder you have to work than everyone else. Because we have to work so much harder now, we will get to party that much harder when we make it. I WILL GRADUATE IN SPITE OF THE SYSTEM! I WILL SUCCEED IN SPITE OF THE SYSTEM! I WILL CHANGE THE FUCKING WORLD CUZ I AM A BADASS AND CAN DO ANYTHING YOU PRIVELEDGED FUCKS CAN DO, JUST BETTER!

#university #college #university system #academic witch #academia #opression

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bluesmemethings · 7 years

Text

New In Town Starters

“I don’t look older, I just look worse.”

“I always thought quicksand was gonna be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be”

“if you watch cartoons, quicksand is like the third biggest thing you have to worry about in adult life behind real sticks of dynamite and anvils falling on you from the sky.”

“I think I’m becoming more like my mom. I was watching Access Hollywood, and one of the reporters said ‘up next we have and exclusive interview with Sandra Bullock’s former husband, Jesse James.’ And out loud I went ‘uhg! This oughta be good!’”

“One time I was in bed and my dad came in and said ‘good night (name) did you brush your teeth?’ And I said ‘yes’ but here’s the thing… I hadn’t.”

“If the court reporter reads back my remarks you will see that I did not purger myself.”

“She would just make wild accusations all day long and wait for something to stick.”

“My mom would blame me for things that happened on the news. That is true.”

“(Name) I have been here all night! You can feel the tv, it’s warm.”

“Luckily I had a good alibi because I was in Wisconsin and twelve.”

“My brothers and sisters and I had this babysitter when we were kids and I was in love with her.”

“Why was she in charge?!”

“That’s just like hiring a slightly bigger child.”

“That would be like if you were going out of town for the week and you paid a horse to watch your dog.”

“Why do people shush animals? They’ve never spoken.”

“This is the height of luxury!”

“Lost in New York? The streets are numbered! How did you get lost in New York?”

“It’s a grid system motherfucker. Where you at? 24th and 5th? Where you wanna go? 35th and 6th? 11 up and 1 over you simple bitch.”

“When I was in grade school I was bullied for being Asian American and… the biggest problem with that… is that I am not Asian american.”

“On the first day that he met me, the guy that is now my best friend went home and said ‘papa, today I met a boy with no eyes’ and that was me.”

“Thirteen year olds are the meanest people in the world. They terrify me to this day.”

“8th graders will make fun of you but in an accurate way.”

“No! that’s the thing I’m sensitive about!”

“First off: no.”

“If you’re comparing the badness of two words and you won’t even say one of them, that’s the worse word.”

“Midgets were never enslaved! Unless you count the Wonka factory!”

“It was really easy to get away with murder before they knew about DNA.”

“Here’s how easy it was to get away with bank robbery back in the 30s: as long as you weren’t still there when the police arrived, you had a 99% chance of getting away with it.”

“Oh good it has a mind of its own, that’s very reassuring.”

“It’s 100% easier not to do things, and so much fun not to do them. Especially when you were supposed to do them.”

“In terms of like instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.”

“I’ve never been killed by hit men, so I don’t know what it’s like in the moments right before you’re killed by hit men, but I bet it’s not unlike when you’re on the subway and you realize that a mariachi band is about to start playing.”

“It doesn’t have to be right, it just has to be short.”

“A hero is any man that does his job.”

“A bozo is any man that cheats on his wife.”

“I went into the room to get the massage and the woman there told me to undress to my comfort level. So I put on a sweater and a pair of corduroy pants, and I felt safe.”

“Hey mister! I found your treasure!”

“If I got a plate of crack for the table would you have some?”

“I have a girlfriend now myself, which is weird because I’m probably gay, based on how I act and behave and have walked and talked for 28 years.”

“I think I was supposed to be gay. I think in heaven they built like three quarters of a gay person and they forgot to flip the final switch and just sent me out.”

“Everyone get out of my way! I just wanna sit here and feed my birds.”

“You want me to do what?”

“We’ve been going pretty hot and heavy lately, I think it’s time we brought in two older catholic people.”

“I listen to everything my girlfriend says. I don’t mean she bosses me around, I just mean that before I had a girlfriend, I never had someone who was always standing next to me and could just point out obvious things that are happening.”

“I don’t look like someone who used to do anything.”

“Oh hey, (name), would you like an old turnip we found in a cabinet? Would that be good for you? Would you like that? I know you don’t drink!”

“I’m really sorry about last night, I was just so drunk.”

“I’m really sorry about last night, it’s just that I’m mean and loud. It probably will happen again.”

“I don’t drink anymore because I used to drink too much and I would black out and ‘ruin parties’ --or so I’m told.”

“ I was 20 and I was at a party at someone’s house and I blacked out drinking and someone came out of one of the rooms at this party holding an old antique bottle with some liquid in it and they said ‘hey, is this whiskey or perfume?’ And apparently I grabbed it, drank all of it and said ‘it’s perfume.’ And it was.”

“(name) was an asshole and one weekend he and his wife decided to leave town, which you should never do if you’re an asshole.”

“Okay, lets go over there and destroy the place.”

“I walked into this party, everyone I had ever met was there and everyone was drinking like it was the end of the world.”

“People were drinking like it was the civil war and a doctor was coming to saw our legs off.”

“They had a pool table in the basement, one kid got a running start and threw his body onto the pool table and broke it in half.”

“I’m standing in the basement and I’m holding a red cup - you’ve seen movies - and I’m starting to black out. And I guess someone said like ‘something something police’ and in a brilliant moment of word association, I shouted ‘FUCK DUH POLICE’ and everyone else joined in. A hundred white, drunk children yelling ‘fuck. duh. police’ with the confidence of guys that have like already been to jail and aren’t afraid of it anymore.”

“My friend – who is now a father, this man now has a baby – grabbed a 40, smashed it on the ground and yelled ‘SCATTER!’ And everyone ran in different directions.”

“I ran into the laundry room and hopped up onto the washing machine and climbed out a window into the back yard and I’m running through the back yard and there’s this huge chain link fence and I thought ‘I have never climbed a fence that high before!’ And then I woke up and home.“

"And I said ‘no’ you know, like a liar.”

“And I had that thought, that only black out drunks and Steve Urkel can have: did I do that? I figured no, I wouldn’t have done that, but I was never sure.”

“he takes me into his bedroom and then he takes me into a side room off of his bedroom- never a good thing to have.”

“WHY? WHY DO YOU DO THIS?”

“Because it’s the one thing you can’t replace.”

“That’s the end of that story but how fucked up is that?”

“I was going into my building late at night and in front of my building I saw a wheel chair knocked over on its side, with no one in it. That’s a bad thing to see. Something happened there, you hope it was a miracle, but probably not.”

“That wasn’t what I was telling you, but alright, let’s talk about this entirely new topic.”

“Excuse me, I am homeless, I am gay, I have AIDS and I’m new in town.”

“That is not the most dramatic thing that you just said.”

“Hey would you help me out? I’m very gay, I’d like a few dollars.”

“Yeah that’s the type of lowbrow shit I’m looking for.”

#john mulaney #new in town #rp starters #roleplay starters #ask box starters #ask starters #askbox starters

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apocalypto12related · 7 years

Note

Do all of them!

1: is there a boy/girl in your life?

Ye! Sammy! @deziac

2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

Um... My family, probably, and no.

3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

Kitty! I love kitties!

4: what’s something you really want right now?

an apartment. on a less serious side, um, glasses???

5: are you afraid of falling in love?

Nope! I already have and since we’re poly im sure i will again owo

6: do you like the beach?

so/so. depends on my mood.

7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

um... a pull out sofa, does that count? i have a hard time sleeping unless i can fully lie down.

8: what’s the background on your cell?

my old phone was tony my new phone is space. not sure what it’ll be soon. >w>;; considering i need to redownload all the stuff i got off tumblr. :’( i lost all my snapchat stuff, but i moved all of izaya to my computer so that’s fine.

9: name the last four beds you were sat on?

what??? O_o; um... a homeless shelter’s bed and other than that they were all my own??? (not counting the “bed” made of sheets at the one place.)

10: do you like your phone?

i just got a new one!! uwu It has 32GB with it’s own internal storage and I have a 32GB sd card. nwn;; So I have a lot of space~! plus it has a fingerprint sensor and im in love with unlocking it like that owo

11: honestly, are things going the way you planned?

prolly not, but when do they?

12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

sammy! bc we both got new phhones!

13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?

i heard poodles have bad temperaments!! idk about rottweilers!! whichever one is nicer??/

14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

emotional!! physical heals!! short time span for pain! emotional might not go away!

15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

DONt mmake me chosoelk??! i love both!!! i lovemy fluffy butts and i went to the met in new york!!! it was so cool!!! swords!! armor!! egypt!! aahhhh!!! i cant choose!!

16: are you tired?

im always tired!!!

17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact?

um... well it’s sammy

so uh, ten years in march owo (technically december was the first time we met!! but we count it as march since that’s when he started talking rly)

18: are they a relative?

no!!

19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

it depends on if they changed their personality!! if not then no!! i mean i did get back with sammy but yknow we just count that as a break since we did actually get back together lmao

20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

this morning!! she is at work so she’s not too talkative rn!

21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

we’re fine with what we’re at!! i don’t need to marry her to make it ‘official’!! we’ve lasted almost 9 years and through some big hardships!! both of us unmedicated and dealing with new medication changes, so i think we’re fine!!

22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

of course!! :P

23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

two!! my blue sylveon bracelet (i love sylveon, i would wear umbreon but i think i packed it!!!) and my pride rainbow bracelet! i took them off when we were looking for a shelter bc i was scared we’d get denied if they saw obvious gay signs :(

24: is there a certain quote you live by?

not directly!! something along the lines of that there is no set path in life you have to choose which ways you want to twist and turn and they’ll lead you onto new and bigger things.

25: what’s on your mind?

music! stuff for my phone! i have a lot of stuff i need to add to eeet!! it’s only a day oolllddd.

26: do you have any tattoos?

yes! it’s for my kitty who passed away! Her name was luna. I’m sure i’ve posted a picture somewhere.

27: what is your favorite color?

#00C5FF

28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

prolly tonight. owo

29: who are you texting?

Sammy owo

30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

probably?? lol what.

31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

YES ACTUALLY D: idk if it happened any other time, but when we got into the car accident when I told our one friend we were joking about her coming up and hanging with us all my brain said was ‘You shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have done that.’ and again when we went out to the car and it was pretty heavy snow fall. I was like ‘I shouldn’t go.’ my problem with that one was I didn’t want to go, but I didn’t think ‘we shouldn’t go’. but... what can you do now?

32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

um. i don’t think i have a super close opposite sex friend. closest would probably be @h0bsyrup

33: do you think anyone has feelings for you?

I’m sure Sammy does. >w> I’m not sure otherwise. My followers don’t tell me that stuff.

34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

Yes omg. Sammy was staring me in the eyes the other day and was like ‘your eyes are pretty’ and i’m like ‘omfg shut up >//

35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

if they’re not dating then she’s gonna punch their lights out, so i don’t have to worry.

36: were you single on valentines day?

November 24th, 2008 is when I started dating Sammy. You tell me.

37: are you friends with the last person you kissed?

... of course?? wtf is with these kiss questions.

38: what do your friends call you?

Kiki :D

39: has anyone upset you in the last week?

lil bit.

40: have you ever cried over a text?

Um... probably. I can’t remember.

41: where’s your last bruise located?

omg... um i guess undermy belly button is the latest bruise??? i have a lot atm from surgery and being motionless for four days!!

42: what is it from?

Sammy actually like harshly pushed on that area. like when you go to land somewhere with your full weight then you go ‘oh fuck’ yeah.

43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

um... recently??? but i guess not as bad as with my mom.

44: who was the last person you were on the phone with?

Sammy owo

45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

Nah.

46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

No.my hair style is like 99% bun.

47: would you ever go bald if it was the style?

i dont follow trends i set them.

48: do you make supper for your family?

not recently but i would for sammy and i usually

49: does your bedroom have a door?

i don’t have a “bedroom” atm e.e

50: top 3 web-pages?

tambo.c0m (tumblr), archiveofourown.org (ao3), youtube.com (the three i use the most anyway)

51: do you know anyone who hates shopping?

Sammy. xD at least food shopping.

52: does anything on your body hurt?

Abdomen. (:

53: are goodbyes hard for you?

it depends. if it’s unnecessary then prolly. if they’ve fucked me over idc. (i.e. my family trying to replace my mom’s abusiveness, fuck them.)

54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

prolly water owo

55: how is your hair?

it’s feeling fine, thank you for asking!

56: what do you usually do first in the morning?

it depends! if it’s my “morning” i wake up and usually bathroom.

57: do you think two people can last forever?

sure but it takes work. it’s not gonna be perfect 24/7 without communication or compromise.

58: think back to january 2007, were you single?

ye. omfg why would you give me nightmares. that’s when i started the rping side of myspce and met that douche wesley. his lying ass made me start self harming. fuck him.

59: green or purple grapes?

i don’t eat grapes .w.;;

60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug?

sometime in the future! prolly sammy!

61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

in an apartment. >w> or at the pompeii exhibit!!!

62: when will be the next time you text someone?

possibly today

63: where will you be 5 hours from now?

lying in bed. :D

64: what were you doing at 8 this morning.

struggling to be alive. (eating chocolate chip muffins)

65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked?

oh god. w8 no. i didn’t like anyone yet. that started like october or shit. ugh my ex. he became an ass. (aside from sammy obvs)

66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

sammy!!

67: did you kiss or hug anyone today?

um... i don’t think so. i think we were both too tired and stressed. we didn’t get into bed until like 1 and the shelter has us be out of beds by 8:30 x3x;

68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

um... ‘i should go back to sleep’ after waking up a third time and distracting myself with the phone

69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

yeah,but at least i tried.

70: how many windows are open on your computer?

it’s not *my* computer, so it doesn’t count! ;D (8 but im downloading music stfu)

71: how many fingers do you have?

i have 10. my one pinky counts as a half finger sometimes though. i broke it and bc i didnt have insurance i never went to a doctor to get it fully take care of so it healed up all wrong.

72: what is your ringtone?

default at the moment!

73: how old will you be in 5 months?

oh fuck i’ll be 24. man if you asked me that back in june i’d be like ‘still 23 (;’ but no. my bday is december

74: where is your mum right now?

She passed away. :/

75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

I realize that as much as I wanted to believe it was love, it never fully blossomed into that until I was with Sammy. I don’t think I’ve truly ever gotten to love anyone else, but that’s okay.

76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

of course owo sammy and i are hella gay don’t u know.

77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

i believe so owo we just don’t talk as much bc im a lazy sack of shit.

78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

fuck. i think i had a minor crush on some dude who also liked green day but never fuckin talked to me so i never bothered. that might’ve also technically been when i started liking wesley. does billie joe from green day count?

79: is there anyone you know with the name mike?

personally? uh.... i’m not totally sure o-o; fuck me man.

80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

probably wait yes. sammy. spooning is our fave position.

81: how many people have you liked in the past three months?

e.e no one that wasn’t a celebrity.

82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

no bc shelter e.e

83: will you talk to the person you like tonight?

:P i talk to them everyday.

84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

i wouldn’t get drunk! i wouldn’t scream at ppl! that’s rude! ppl usually can’t even hear you when you yell at the window! we hear ‘whoosh’ with your voice in the middle’

85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care?

i would be concerned since she’s said she doesn’t like them!!

86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

um... oh! a conversation started and a lil girl asked if we were in a certain theatre and I said ‘no we were in theatre blah’ so I asked what they went and saw. She said “Wonder Woman” “hey we just came out of that, too!” :P

87: who was your last received call from?

.3.; sammy

88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

i-i’m torn??? i needm oney but poor butter-san... ;____;

89: what is something you wish you had more of?

money. clothes maybe

90: have you ever trusted someone too much?

yeah. lmao.

91: do you sleep with your window open?

i usually do! esp in the winter/summer! need air and love cold!

92: do you get along with girls?

ye!

93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

no. owo

94: does sex mean love?

no! sex is something that can bring someone closer, but it is not necessary for a relationship!

95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

>3>;;; again, no.

96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

owo; indirectly. i shared a drink with someone who had one. xD

97: did you sleep alone this week?

not this week! :D last week. ;~; at the hospital.

98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

yes. >3>

99: do you believe in love at first sight?

no!!! that’s not love!! you might end up loving them but you can’t love someone unless you know them!! :c otherwise it’ll lead to some bad decisions!! D:

100: who was the last person that you pinky promise?

OwO Sammy I think.

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casography · 7 years

Text

i’m so sick and tired of my life

i don’t even know where to begin. my lack of freedom, maybe. i’m stuck out in a shit little town in a moldy disgusting junk-filled house. all i want is to be able to go places and drive myself around but even that’s not okay with my mom. she doesn’t think i’m ready even though i’m 23 goddamn years old. that’s 7 goddamn fucking years i’ve been waiting for freedom, and i just keep waiting.

i’d have a car available to drive if the truck would get fixed. and who’s that up to? my deadbeat disgusting moron of a step-brother who always says he’ll do something and never does. and my tool of a father just wrings his hands and wonders when it’ll get done, but god forbid we take it to a repair shop because we can’t afford it. and we’d get a new car but my father already gripes and whines all the time about us not having enough money. you know why we don’t have enough money you piece of shit? because we have to spend it all on your high-maintenance ass that “needs” 20 different kinds of vitamins, protein powder, and certain types of clothes and foods. just so we can keep you around longer for you to gripe and whine more and make us fucking miserable.

i’d rather have my mom around even if she is controlling. at least she isn’t a baby, no, she just doesn’t take care of herself at all. i can’t count how many times she’s said “this is my wake-up call” to get healthy. when she went on the insulin, when she had fucking cancer, when she fell and broke her shoulder, and so many other times. and still she has not lost the weight she said she would. she doesn’t even test her blood sugar. so now i’m just trying to get used to the thought of life without my mother because that’ll probably be my reality in a few years since she doesn’t give a shit about me enough to take care of herself.

i’d love to leave but i know i’d wind up homeless. where the fuck am i gonna go? honestly i just want to leave this country and never come back but i’m too afraid of everyone hating me for it. and i couldn’t take my dog with me because i’m pretty sure i wouldn’t make enough to take good care of him. i’m afraid being away from him would send me spiraling and i’d never come back. but my family, for the most part, is shit. most of the people around me are shit. they say how they come into where i work and try to find me but i’ve seen those fake cunts walk right by my desk without even looking. try-to-find-me bullshit. most of those people that do that are my family. they don’t actually give a shit about me. you can’t tell me you can’t find me when my best friend walks right up to the desk or texts me and says “i’m here yo.” my mom does that too (well without the “yo” part) and you know why they do that? because they actually give a shit and they’re some of the only ones who do.

but that’s fine. i don’t want my aunt coming around anyway, seeing as she’s part of the reason my grandmother’s dead now. i don’t want my brother coming around because he’s a fucking bigot and i want to shoot him in the face every time he opens his mouth. he can take his purple hearts and shove them up his ass. i don’t want my step-grandmother coming around because she’s just an asshole plain and simple and it’s a constant reminder that she’ll never actually be my grandmother. god my family used to be so great- back when i was always nice and happy (or pretending to be). but now that i have opinions and i’m not cute and little anymore they find it perfectly fine to ignore me. okay. if i do die at some point in the near future or i kill myself, their sympathy would either be fake or just a mandatory duty. i truly hope ghosts can kill because i wanna kill like ten of them.

i love my job and hate my boss, but i have to act like i’m her best friend. i want to make more money, preferably in another department until she leaves, but last time she straight up blocked me from switching by convincing the store manager that my attitude needed work. i can’t trust anyone there because most of them are loud-mouth shitbags, so i have to complain to my mom and best friend about her. i’d kill her too if i were a ghost.

so yeah, no wonder i might have an ulcer. i’ve been dealing with stressful bullshit all my life, especially in high school. i could go on and on because it still pisses me off, but i’ll just say that very few of them cared either and they mostly just wanted to ignore me. so they did. and i almost killed myself. then once we graduated they whined about how they wished we could keep in touch. more bullshit. i’m not good at starting conversations but they do really well at running their mouths so they could text me at any time or come pick me up where i live but NO ONE IS WILL TO DO THAT. APPARENTLY IT’S TOO FUCKING FAR OUT AND USING A LITTLE BIT MORE GAS (THAT I WILL REIMBURSE THEM FOR ANYWAY) ISN’T WORTH SPENDING TIME WITH ME. DID YOU ALL EVER STOP TO THINK THAT MAYBE I WOULDN’T BE SO FUCKING MISERABLE AND ANGRY IF PEOPLE JUST GAVE A SHIT ABOUT ME?

oh and online friendships dear god. i love them to death but i’m so sick and tired of tip-toeing on eggshells around...well i’ll just say “her.” it’s been like that for so long and i understand. i understand her problems because some of them are my problems too, but they’re no excuse for how she acts towards me. i try to be nice and i try to keep things civil but i don’t know how much longer i can keep it up so. may not be too much longer now. she can joke around rudely all she wants but the second i do she stops talking to me. fuck. that.

i’m just done and i’m tired and if this makes me lose friends then you’ve missed the point. i never ask for anything. ANYTHING. and i rarely vent. so yeah if this pisses you off, then you’re only thinking about your feelings and not mine.

#personal #if you know me personally and actually give a shit you should probably read this #if not keep scrolling

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pyrocicle · 7 years

Text

Muse Interview

Answering for four verses; Red’s, Daemon’s, trioverse, and chessverse.

Tagged by: @abrokenheartdisease

Tagging: steal it fam

1. WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

“Dove.”

2. WHAT IS YOUR REAL NAME?

"Devroye.”

“Dove.”

“Dove Jenni Dreemurr.”

“Dove Dreemurr.”

[They all started out as Jenni Lee Michaels, but circumstances caused their names to change--]

3. DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU WERE CALLED THAT?

"yep! Red and Boss ended up naming me while we were figuring out Puppy - Theano’s - name.”

“pretty sure it’s the hair.”

“I was originally named for my grandmother - my middle name now. after His Majesty learned Mema adopted me he sort of insisted on doing the same, officially, and felt it was appropriate to use my chosen name as my official name.”

“when Her Majesty an’ Papa adopted me, since I didn’t officially exist, we just went with the name I use the most instead of the old one.”

4. ARE YOU SINGLE OR TAKEN?

"eeeeehn... HEY RED, ARE WE DATING OR WHAT? ... a’ight, dating but probably open-ish, question hasn’t actually come up” @starsgivemehp

“eheheh, I have my puppy, so...” @abrokenheartdisease‘s Daemon

“I gots m’bois~” @direfrail

“single.”

5. HAVE ANY ABILITIES OR POWERS?

"a few cheap tricks - I can create barriers, use some divination, and I’m a pyromancer”

“due to the familiar bond, I have access to watered-down versions of Daemon’s powers”

“yep! I make bombs. and also help out with researching ways to break the barrier”

“eeeeehn... a few. most of them aren’t particularly useful here”

6. STOP BEING A MARY SUE/GARY STU.

"bite me.”

“I’m gonna eatchu~”

“escuse?”

“so’s yer fave.”

7. WHAT’S YOUR EYE COLOR?

“pale blue, almost white”

8. HOW ABOUT YOUR HAIR COLOR?

"white”

9. HAVE YOU ANY FAMILY MEMBERS?

"an extensive family on the surface. the skellies an’ Mema down here”

“my puppy?”

“m’bois, Puppy, Sparrow (bravery kid), Nicola (monster kid), an’ Elba (Albinoy, li’l skele girl)! Mema and Father. an extensive family on the surface. ”

“the bros, Puppy, Papa and Mother.”

10. OH? WHAT ABOUT PETS?

"does Catpurnicus count?”

“... my puppy.”

Trying and failing to keep a straight face before doubling over and laughing, pointing at herself.

“... six cats.”

11. THAT’S COOL I GUESS, NOW TELL ME ABOUT SOMETHING YOU DON’T LIKE.

"Red judgin’ m’eatin’ habits”

“not always bein’ up to runnin’ Daemon”

“but I know exactly what it feels like to have a voice in the back of my mind--”

“... I miss my mom.”

12. DO YOU HAVE ANY HOBBIES/ACTIVITIES YOU LIKE DOING?

"singing, dancing, making explosives...”

13. EVER HURT ANYONE BEFORE?

"yep.”

14. EVER….KILLED ANYONE BEFORE?

"shockingly, no.”

15. WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL ARE YOU?

"dragon!”

“frumious bandersnatch”

“a li’l bird, apparently”

“dragon!”

16. NAME YOUR WORST HABITS.

“pyromania.”

[she’s also paranoid.]

17. DO YOU LOOK UP TO ANYONE AT ALL?

"... Red. Boss. they’ve got better morals than I do”

“not anymore”

“nnnnnhhhhhh...” wiggly hand. Kinda, not really.

“Mother. Papa. Prise and Legall.”

18. GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?

"screw the gender binary in any and all forms, I’m fuckin’ pan.”

19. DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL?

"I did. had almost gotten my AA” - First three

“yeah, workin’ on my bachelor’s degree.”

20. DO YOU EVER WANT TO MARRY AND HAVE KIDS ONE DAY?

"NO.”

21. DO YOU HAVE ANY FANBOYS/FANGIRLS?

"nope.”

22. WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF?

"... not seeing mom again”

“not being enough for Daemon”

“not being enough to save them”

“... I dunno”

23. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY WEAR?

"coat, sweater, pants, boots”

“coat, tank top, pants, boots”

"coat, sweater, pants, boots”

“tank top, shorts, boots or formalwear”

24. DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE?

"considerin’ we just made the whole datin’ thing official, I think it’s a li’l early to be throwin’ the L word around”

“yep~ my puppy is my precious starshine~”

“yes~! see every name on my family list, I ain’ repeatin’ that with qualifications.”

Irritated look and silence.

25. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WET YOURSELF?

"gross.”

26. WHAT CLASS ARE YOU? (HIGH CLASS, MIDDLE CLASS, LOW CLASS)

"ghhhh... I’m not worried about that right now?”

“we’re currently homeless worldhoppers, does this really need more of an answer??”

“I’m a working princess, take a fucking guess.”

27. HOW MANY FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE?

"... more than ya’d expect?”

“good question...?”

“a lot!! it’s exhausting sometimes.”

“a pretty decent amount. I don’t have a lot of time to spend with them, unfortunately, but I try”

28. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON PIE?

"pieeeeee! second only to caaaake~”

29. FAVORITE DRINK?

"cherry juice-- STOP LAUGHING, I DIDN’T MEAN THAT.”

“pomegranate juice”

“strawberry soda”

“mint tea”

30. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE?

Shrug.

“the hidey-hole”

“Sidi’s lap. shut up.”

“my goddamn room, not that I’m ever THERE.”

31. ARE YOU INTERESTED IN SOMEONE~?

"Already with someone.” - first three

“...” nervous cough. “maaaybe.”

32. WHAT’S YOUR BRA CUP SIZE AND/OR HOW BIG IS YOUR WILLY?

"32 F”

33. WOULD YOU RATHER SWIM IN THE LAKE OR THE OCEAN?

"neither, rivers and streams for the win!”

34. WHAT’S YOUR TYPE?

"I don’t have a specific type because i have several types.”

35. ANY FETISHES?

"lots. I like rope and chastity and breathplay and--”

36. SEME OR UKE? TOP OR BOTTOM? DOMINANT OR SUBMISSIVE?

"switch.”

37. CAMPING OR INDOORS?

"INDOORS.”

38. ARE YOU WANTING THE QUIZ TO END?

“bast’s pinking tits, yes.”

#in flames #about dove #long post #nsfw; playing with fire #v; thicker than water 💚#v; the travelling witch 💛#v; trioverse 💚#v; chessverse 💛

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ace-dread · 3 years

Text

Arthur Cyrano Brenner, aka Art

I miss when my biggest problems were Mondays. My present conundrum is this cage I'm in, which was probably designed for a hamster.

Confused? Me too. But lemme back it up here. Start you off with the basics.

My name’s Arthur Brenner. We’ve never met, but I’ll bet you know someone like me. Every class has an Arthur (I prefer being called Art). You know, the smartest, wittiest, most charming, coolest, and best-looking. Oh yeah, and I'm currently 3 inches tall. I’m kidding. Except about the part where I'm 3 inches tall. That's real.

Lemme take you to where it all began:

MONDAY

I folded my cardboard home down and shoved it into a little crevice I called home. Just beneath it, brand-new shoes I’d found a few days before. They were a perfect fit, but I couldn’t bring myself to wear them. I always ended up thinking that they were too new and far too cool to be on a homeless. Besides, people who saw me with them would think I'd stolen them, and the last thing I ever wanted was attention.

I treaded the narrow ledge along the sloped concrete and slipped out from under the bridge. I was always cautious here; walk too quickly, and you could end up like the poor guy a couple of weeks ago, who ended up losing a few limbs and several quarts of blood after sliding down and taking a glancing hit from a truck. It’s a callous world, so the only person you should ever look out for is yourself. Write that down, kids.

I glanced down at my cheap prepaid phone. The tiny clock on the top flip indicated that I was gonna be late if I didn’t haul ass. I began to run at a quickened pace, not because I'm particularly worried about tardies, but because a phone call to my nonexistent parents would get me kicked out. And to forfeit two meals a day and 8 hours of A/C, for free? I may be stupid, but I’m not an idiot.

I had always been on my own, for as long as I could remember. I don’t know what happened to my folks, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. But what I lacked in family, I made up with street smarts. Looking over my shoulder had become second nature to me. Not much scared me, because there wasn’t much to be afraid of. Darkness? Pah. Baby stuff. Getting raped? Well, I ain’t a chick (sorry, ladies. But we all know a man isn’t gonna get raped as easily as you.) Robbed? There wasn’t jack you could steal from me. Killed? Death would be welcome to try me.

A man with a sharp stick and nothing left to lose can take the day, they say.

After a long jog and a stealthy slip past school security, I dashed into first block at 7:09, out of breath and trying to decide whether or not my heart was going to jump out of my chest. After a few seconds, I figured that I was gonna be OK. I felt an elbow jab my ribs. “We didn’t think you were gonna make it, man,” said David. The guy was the closest thing I had to a best friend.

I’d met David a while back, outside an art show I was genuinely interested in, while he went just to hang out or make fun of the artwork. But when his friends forgot to mention they weren’t going anymore, he stuck it out with me as I explained the art to him. He didn’t really appreciate it the way I thought he should, but he liked me enough to keep me around, I guess.

“I’m guessing you bet on it,” I sighed with mock contempt. In response, he showed me his cashless wallet and gestured to his left at Rocco, our local kid genius. He was quiet, I was awkward, but David made it up by being the most rambunctious guy everywhere he went. We balanced each other out.

“We had a bet going. I was gonna win if you didn’t make it on time. But Rocco here is a thief and a card reader or something,” he said jokingly, and lightly punched Rocco’s arm. “Idiot.” In response, Rocco smiled toothily and held up about 20 dollars’ worth of money. Halfway through the class, I felt David poke my ribs again. “Hey man, I almost forgot,” he whispered as he poked my arm and nodded his head across the room to his girlfriend, Kayla. “I just dumped her and told her I was leaving her for some hot chick from the place I’m moving to next week.” “Dubai?” “Yeah. I’m not actually dumping her for another girl, I just figured I’d crush her heart on the way out,” he smirked. I shook my head and turned to see the girl, who was busy giving us not-so discreet nasty looks. I gave her a sympathetic shrug. David may have been my best friend, but I'd be a liar to say he was anything more than a spoiled douchebag. But every guy knows that rule number one of Bro Code is Bro’s before hoes. It applied no matter what; even if my boy David was a little cruel. As for Kayla, she just raised an eyebrow and faced the front for the teacher to tell us all about the War of 18-flipping-12. As the bell rang, I passed Kayla on my way out. She looked at me and grabbed my arm. “Please be sure to give this to David, Art,” she said slowly, as if she were about to lose it if she didn’t watch herself. I felt a slab of metal or something slip into my hand—a memento of some sort, I guessed. “Sure,” I said uneasily. I pulled my arm away and skedaddled outta there. I felt bad for Kayla. She had never wronged me, or David, as far as I knew. She had a sweet face and a proud aura, but something about her… just didn’t click. Add to that fact that her best friend, Corday, was one of the creepy freaks of the school, and she made my “do not disturb” list. Corday was on another level, though. She was always alone and very quiet, but I swear, every time we made eye contact, it was as if she was peering straight into my soul. I ended up losing David in the crowd and decided I would give it to him the next time I saw him. This thing probably wasn’t even worth it, anyway. I maneuvered through the crowd skillfully and easily, gliding through gaps and spaces. Have you seen The Matrix? Where Keneau Reeves plays Neo, the guy who weaves bullets? That’s me in a busy hallway. My agility and reaction time paired together made me pretty kick-ass, and them’s the fucking facts.

But I guess it was fate (or maybe Karma) that caused me to become so caught up in my bullet-weaving fantasy that I didn’t notice the girl who popped out of the English hallway. I slammed into her, dropping her binder.

“Agh, sorry,” I mumbled out quickly, unaware of who it was. But when I did, I wished I could die. She looked at me, sighed in frustration, and started to bend down to pick it up. But before she could, I swiped it off the ground. “Here. I’m sorry, uh... Wiley, right?” I said nervously as I handed it over to her. She turned it over in her hands, not looking at me. “Uh... yeah?” she said after a few excruciating seconds. I shoved my hands in my pockets and teeter-tottered on my feet. “Isn’t biochem next period?” She gave me a look—one that involved a narrowing of her pale green eyes—that made me feel so stupid that I just wanted to keel over and die.

“Are… you okay, Art?”

“Right. Sorry.” I cringed. I never needed parents to embarrass me, I did just fine on my own. “Well, we’d better hurry on up, then. I’d hate to be late,” she said indifferently. goddamn it. It’s so frustrating to have such a hard time making conversation. It’s not like Wiley and I had never spoken before. We’ve actually spoken quite a bit. But actually being able to say something of substance to your crush is extremely difficult. You guys know how it is. Every time is like the first time.

Wiley was always that kinda girl who… gosh, how to describe. She was fine, oh so fine. She had long dirty blonde hair, pale but beautiful green eyes. Really smart. Gentle in everything she did, a leader, a capable person. She had been taking a martial art class, which gave her slim yet toned curves; and that much more perfect. Oh, and straight A’s. Can’t forget that lovely brain of hers.

I had had multiple encounters with her, and each time I would mess up worse than the last time. The worst one was the time I attempted to flirt. The rest had been sad attempts at conversation.

I mean, her name was Wiley. Isn't that a beautiful name? A beautiful name for a beautiful girl. Which is what I told her as I sidled up casually to her locker. "Wiley," I said. "Arthur," she said. "A beautiful name for a beautiful girl," I said. "What is? Arthur?" "No, Wiley." "What?" "Wiley. I was just saying I thought it would be a beautiful name for a beautiful girl." "Oh, really!" she said, giving me serious fish-eye. "It would be, huh? For a beautiful girl. But not for me, huh? Is that what you're saying? You just came all the way over here, acting all cool, to tell me I should give my name to some beautiful girl because I'm too much of a pig to have the name?" At this point I could have explained. But I had this bad feeling that the moment was past. You know? Like nothing I could possibly say was going to make this work. "How about if we just say this conversation never happened?" I suggested. "How about if I just turn and walk away?" "That would be a good idea.”

Days later, she apologized for not giving the impression that she was joking. Hell, I was happy that she had been okay with me, not me with her. I genuinely thought that I had offended her. And although later on, it would become a sort of inside joke between us, it was still an embarrassing episode I wanted to forget.

We barely made to class and took our seats just before the bell. Ms. Net, our Biochemistry teacher, was a young woman. She was always cranky and had a skewed sense of humor, but I guess she was a decent enough woman. On our trip to the Museum of National Science, she had been cool enough to let Wiley and I pair up. Honestly, you could say Wiley had chosen me, because there was no way I would’ve had the guts to-

“ARTHUR!” “Hughwugoah.” Considering the fact that Ms. Net had scared the shit out of me, I guess that was a reasonable sound.

“I’VE BEEN TELLING YOU TO GO TO YOUR TABLE-GROUP FOR THE PAST MINUTE!” she yelled, clearly alerting the class to my predicament. To my embarrassment, I could see Wiley already at our table, snickering her face off.

“Yes’m.” I could feel my ears and cheeks burning as I passed her desk. she slapped my chest with a couple of papers and groaned.

“This is your group assignment. Try NOT to zone out again, huh, Arthur? it’s too early for your bullshit.” Behind me, the class could not control their stupid little laugh session.

I sat down quickly and gave my group their papers. “I wanna die,” I moaned, looking at the ceiling and ignoring the snickers from my group mates: Taylor, Wiley, and Julia.

Lemme give you guys the 4-1-1.

Julia was the blonde ditz. Picture a blonde, mall-shopping, spray-tanning bimbo in your head and chances are your imagination conjured up a girl that looks and acts a lot like Julia. As for Taylor, it’s a little more complicated than that. We go way back. We’d been friends since we were in Velcros. We were what many would label “frenemies”; we would slam each other with insults and go the extra mile to prank or mess with one another, but were generally pretty decent people to one another. Both of us were only children (or in my case, only one in a family), so we became the siblings we never had for one another. Oh, and she was tall as fuck. “Art. Hey. Buddy. Wake the hell up,” Taylor said, snapping her fingers right in front of my face. I’d zoned out. Daydreaming of a sparkling conversation with the girl on my left. “What do you want, Taylor?” “Just wondering when you and Wiley were gonna hook up,” she said casually. She framed us with her fingers and nodded in approval. “Yeah, that’d be a cute couple, right Julia?” Julia smiled her big cheerleader smile. “Real cute!” She squealed. “Oh, come on guys. Knock it off,” I uttered nonchalantly, and glanced at Wylie, who was beet-red. Almost like… she was… “Is that a bwuuuussshhhhhhh??” Cooed Taylor in this sickening baby speak. Poor Wiley could barely get up and out of the classroom without tripping. I contorted my face to hide my own blush and to show my anger, which wasn’t all that hard considering I really did feel like giving them a piece of my mind. “What the heck, guys? She probably feels terrible for me, she can’t hook up with me, she probably has a boyfriend!” I exclaimed, panting. I didn’t quite know why I was feeling so jittery though. I chalked it down to a bad breakfast that I never had because there was absolutely no way… “She likes you, Art. And she doesn’t and has never had a boyfriend. Her aunt and uncle won’t let her,” she spit out indifferently. Nope. No way. Too good to be true. Yep. Had to be. Yep. “You… you’re lying,” I sputtered out. Julia shook her head and unlocked her phone. “Guys. So clueless!” I decided to ignore her comment and focus on Taylor. “Taylor… be straight with me, no jokes,” I pleaded nervously. “Do you really think that-“ “Arthur, tell me that you’ve finished your paper, or so help me god!” Ms. Net roared. I glanced down at my paper as the class began to snicker at me yet again. I hadn’t even put my name on it yet. Julia, however, raised her hand. “Yes ma’am, here’s my paper. We did it on a single sheet,” she said with a sweet and innocent smile. I glanced at the paper. All she’d written down was 2+2=5 and, knowing her, she probably thought it was true. Ms. Net gave me some serious stink-eye, but decided to let it go. “Well, alright then, but no more talking. I’m about to start the presentation,” she said, just as Wiley walked in with an unreadable expression. I couldn’t bring my eyes to meet her, though. Gravity does things to your eyes, am I right? She sat down quietly and after a few awkward minutes, she was back to her normal self. Funny, sweet, happy Wiley. After being assigned homework, I was so excited that I could barely pay any attention to it. “Art,” Wiley whispered tentatively, maybe even nervously. “You look like you’re having trouble with the homework.” I took a deep breath and attempted to relax my vocal cords. “Yeah, I am. Too bad I won’t have you around to help me, Einstein,” I whispered softly, gesturing at her paper. The girl was some sort of genius at Biochem; she’d already finished the 2 page homework. “Well,” she smiled with what seemed to be reddening cheeks, “You could always call me, you know, after school,” she smiled. She stuck her hand in her pockets and produced a little piece of paper with her name and number. It took all I had not to jump up and down and lose my mind. What a fine day it was turning out to be!

After Biochemistry, the day had practically zipped on by. I became so lost in my own world that I didn’t hear the bells to the next classes. It was only until the end of the day, in the last block with Taylor, that my world came crashing down.

We were just finishing up our project when she started talking of the days events out of the blue.

“I told you, she totally digs you, Art,” she teased. But then, her mood totally changed. Taylor leaned back into her chair and sighed heavily. “You do know that she’s moving, right?” she asked softly. I turned my head to look at her, unable to believe it. And from the way she was expressing herself, I knew she couldn’t have been kidding. You get to know people a decade and change. “No,” I squeak out after a few moments of silence. “She’s leaving some time at the beginning of the next school year. I just thought you’d want to know that time is limited if you want to make a move, if at all,” she says carefully. I shake my head and look down. “Thank you for letting me know,” I whisper. She grabbed my shoulder from behind and gave me a quick pat. “Make your move, son, ‘fore it’s too late,” she said in a fake southern accent. I shook my head softly and left silently just as the bell released us.

I took the long way to the bridge, mulling over my conflicting emotions. I was glad that Taylor told me, and desperately disappointed that Wiley was leaving. However, something new, something warm found its way into and around my heart. My crush actually liked me back. Now that’s right out of a fairy tale, but like always, I never could, never would, have myself a happily ever after. After a lifetime of disappointment, I knew I couldn’t afford to let my hopes fly, just for another scar in my heart.

I spent the evening watching reruns of various TV shows, on a tiny television I had found behind Radio Shack a few weeks before. Even though the only way to get electricity to it was to hand crank a small power generator continuously, I appreciated the distraction it provided. The burning sensations my muscles generated kept my mind off what was actually troubling me.

It helped too much, I guess, because I didn’t even notice the car that pulled over on the edge of the highway my bridge passed over, nor did I notice the person that clambered out. What did catch my attention, though, were the words I heard. “Arthur? Arthur Brenner?” Called the school dean. The school dean! Legally, I wasn’t even allowed to go to school without a home address. I couldn’t control the panic I felt as she walked around, stilettos making echos that sent chills down my spine. She’s here to collect me, put me in the foster home system, move me away to a school way away. Oh, Universe, I thought sadly. Will you ever leave me alone? She turned on a flashlight and took a look around, peering at and inside the alcoves of the bridge. Just when I thought she was leaving, I looked up. I expected to feel relief, but what I did feel was my blood turn to ice when I saw her looking right at me, with steely black eyes. “Come with me, young man,” she yelled, her hand beckoning me to what I was certain was my doom. I had no option but to comply, and as I entered the car and closed the door, I couldn’t help but wonder if Wiley would miss me. I sincerely doubted it.

#wellllll shit what're y'all doin. screwin?#hey man I dunno how to use Tumblr yet ok #giantess stuff that leads to characterization over fetishization if that makes sense #giantess

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asksansweredpdf · 5 years

Text

65 questions youre not used to

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? not until now

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? hm like a 3? i talk to spirits so sometimes i worry that they’re around

3. The person you would never want to meet? someone i used to know who things are now awkward with

4. What is your favorite word? oblong or shenanigans

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? idk like a mulberry tree

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? that my hair was sticking up from my sleep

7. What shirt are you wearing? pink & blue stipy crop

8. What do you label yourself as? flamboyant & eccentric

9. Bright room or dark room? dark room

10. What were you doing at midnight last night? finishing infinity war or reading fanfic sjdfhjlkf

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? 20

12. Who told you they loved you last? probably my old best friend dom

13. Your worst enemy? i dont really have any enemies. i try to get on with everyone or keep to myself if that’s not possible

14. What is your current desktop picture? a scene from kiki’s delivery service with a window near some greenery

15. Do you like someone? not romantically no. i only ever go to work and work romances are inappropriate

16. The last song you listened to? pussy is gof

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? id like to say someone like trump, but i think his death wouldn’t really lead to much positive change. maybe a billionaire with an heir who would do better with what they have? i’lll have to research this

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? nobody immediately springs to mind.

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? technically i’d make someone like jeff bezos my slave and then force him to give his money to the homeless, or to pay his workers a higher wage, or something to that anti-capitalist extent. maybe i’d force major ceos to try and combat global warming if it isnt too late

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) everyone says my eyes - and i do like them, but im inclined to say my hair. i love my hair so much

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? id be super hot with colourings like zayn malik or rdj and id probably immediately jack off dsfjlkdsjfkl

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? no serious answers come to mind

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? asking people for a favour/for help. answering the phone when im not at work

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. my subway usual! white bread, chicken stips with melted cheese, cucumber, capsicum, olives, jalepenos, honey mustard sauce, salt and pepper

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? probably use it to save for a car, or to help fund dad’s trip to america/england that i got roped into having to pay for

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? i have work tomorrow :/ but i guess if i could get out of that i’d go to greece or something?

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? ive never had expensive alcohol so i’d probably get like a scotch whiskey or some usual vodka (but pre-mixed. i always puke when i mix vodka myself)

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? YEEEESSSS, um first rule would be that everyone gets food/shelter/water for free. regardless of who you are.

29. What is your favorite expletive? used to be shit, now i think it’s just fuck.

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? my phone

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? g o d. i think i’d erase either my 18th birthday or the day we first moved into the house im living in now

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! fuck yeah i’d go live with harry styles or someone in america or england or whatever. maybe canada. canada seems cool.

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? my mum’s father! i’ve always wanted to meet him. we have a lot in common from what i’m told (i was 2 when he died so i dont even remember him). but we’re both leos! we both love dancing and we both love music and singing (he was a musician. and music is like.....all i have). we both like cigarettes and swearing. we both had shit mothers. he seems a cool dude. he had that leo generosity and gave my mum a car and money when she needed it and i never had a good person/parent like that around and i’d love to know him and now im getting sad so. did not see that coming round the corner

34. What was your last dream about? this is going to sound weird but it was about this gross old fat dude sitting in a car next to me (i think my family started driving people around for money in my dream) and he started feeling me up and i told him off.

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? person? artist? singer? student? worker? nope. im not good at much.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? yeah twice that i can recall atm. once when i was 9 months for having a cyst on my ovary, and once when i was 19 for having gastro and puking non-stop.

37. Have you ever built a snowman? nah i wish. it doesnt snow in australia

38. What is the color of your socks? im not wearing any atm but the last pair i wore were red and black deadpool ones

39. What type of music do you like? GOD okay my answer is any type of music. but it has to be good. upbeat music?

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? sunsets

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? vanilla or caramel

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) i dont give a shit about sports

43. Do you have any scars? yeah i have one on my lower stomach from the surgery i got for my ovary cyst, one on my right hand from opening a tin of tuna and slicing my hand immediately (i later got food poisoning), i have some embarrassing ass self harm scars on my thighs, and i think that’s it?

44. What do you want to be when you graduate? well i graduate uni in just over a week (next saturday) and i have no clue. at the moment i just want to get a job that has a set amount of hours and a set/steady pay and doesnt make me anxious. a desk job that i’m not terrible at. then i can move out. and once im moved out i wont be in survival mode, and maybe then i can start dreaming. but for now im desperate enough to not even have dreams or wants.

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? i would make me more assertive and less anxious. and a bit more funny. a bit more like an aries or a leo. i think i will be more like this when im moved out and secure with a consistent job and consistent living space. i havent had that for like 6 years.

46. Are you reliable? very

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? god what a question. where should i work? and should i get a motorbike or a car? and id just ask for general advice

48. Do you hold grudges? absolutely. to be fair, i consider myself a very understanding and fair person, so it takes a lot to get me mad. but once im there, it’s usually justified and hard to change my mind.

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? like maybe a bird and a lion. imagine a flying lion. that’d be sick

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? out of what immediately springs to mind i have 2 equally strong contenders: 1) me, introducing myself to a worker on the first day at my job - “hi, i’m ____ by the way. i don’t think i’ve introduced myself to you yet” “i know.” “oh! sorry haha im just really bad with names and faces haha” "yeah. we went to school together. *walks away* 2) coworker: so how many babies do you think we’ll have to sacrifice to get a bigger back room? me: ........at least 1 million coworker: 1 million? wow! i was thinking like 7! me: 7? wow i really went overboard there. but wait! what counts as a baby? are there age or weight restrictions or? coworker: hm i think it’s like anyone under the age of 4 me: oh under 4? so if you kill a 5 year old and sacrifice it, then you’ve just wasted a kill and it doesn’t count? coworker: yeah pretty much.....i’ve done that a few times, actually. their parents were not happy me: yeah i’d imagine just as much. imagine having to have that conversation with their parents like ‘uhh sorry about that’ coworker: yeah and it was all for nothing too

51. Are you a good liar? yes, when i know the people and situation well. i usually plan out my lies in advance, but for whatever reason im actually a better liar when im thinking on my feet and improvising the lies. have no idea how or why.

52. How long could you go without talking? fucking forever. i’m great at talking, a very good conversationalist. but fuck i love not having to talk to people. it’s so much effort.

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? my mum cut a fringe for me when i was 12.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? all the time! i love baking

55. Can you do any accents other than your own? nope

56. What do you like on your toast? vegemite, egg, honey & peanut butter, sometimes jam (mostly when im high)

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? captain phasma

58. What would be you dream car? a 59 cadillac, or most ferraris

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. i dont usually sing in the shower, but i do enjoy a good shower dance routine

60. Do you believe in aliens? for sure! our universe is too huge and constantly expanding for there to be just us

61. Do you often read your horoscope? god you dont even want to know how much i fucking love astrology. astrology is my mind. it occupies about 1/3 of all my thoughts and i immediately try to figure out people’s signs within the first .... maybe 5 seconds of meeting them.

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? maybe p or r or v

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? dinosaurs

64. What do you think about babies? cute when they’re not mine and i can give them back to their mothers after 5 minutes

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

#mine

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