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boypussydilf · 1 year

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[runnning in] relationships askgame. tell me about. kururu and saburo. thats the white haired kids name right

YEAAAAAAH IT IS. SABURO. sabOwO. sabUwU. his name is different in the anime vs the manga i call him saburo bc thats his anime name so itswhat im used to but in the manga hes mutsumi… i think he changed it he runs a radio show and in the anime they changed it so that it’s a SECRET that he runs it and in both the name he uses for the radio show is 623 which is a pun on. mutsumi. bc sgt frog fucking ADORES giving the characters pun codenames & plays on possible pronunciations of numbers that also sound like their names. so if it was a secret that he was running th radio show his actual name couldn’t sound exactly the same as his radio show host name. so the anime named him saburo. but like. why change that at all. anyway! ah i didn’t really think this would get very long but uh. readmore time

describe their canon relationship/dynamic

WE DONT REALLY… GET TO SEE THEM ACTUALLY INTERACT ALL THAT MUCH… saburo exists so that in his introduction scene yoshizaki can have his little evangelion reference and then after that saburo just. exists. like hes interesting but no one gets to talk about it because he almost never shows up. they damned him to the box. they put him in a storage closet. Anyway the good thing is when kururu and saburo DO interact its almost always like. Stellar. 10/10. Incredible moment. It’s usually either “one of them asks the other for technical help with something and the other one goes ‘sure that sounds interesting lol’”, or kururu sending saburo a text that goes “I’m not even IN any danger so don’t even bother trying to help me tbh, like what could you even DO, everything is fine, here are my exact coordinates btw” and saburo goes to help him, or both of them like, sitting in a tree going “Those losers are pretty excited about cherry blossoms huh? Well they are kind of pretty sometimes, I guess”.

Saburo is a fair bit more Openly Nice than Kururu but they are still both like, always running a program of “act Distant and Disaffected and Cool and Like You Don’t Really Care About Anything Unless It’s Funny”, but where it would read as being rude to anyone else interacting with them, they fundamentally GET each other, so when they’re having very brief interactions with each other where they’re just asking for favors or talking like nothing really matters and they’re only here because they didn’t happen to have anything better to do, they both see it for what it is and read it for gestures of kindness and friendship and so they endure despite their lack of open and honest communication. The ultimate point of their dynamic as laid out in canon is “they Get Each Other, in a way absolutely no one else does”.

your ideal/headcanon version of it? how does it differ from how it is in canon & why is this your favorite version? any other alternate versions of it you enjoy?

You know… again… I don’t think there’s any way to improve on this. I don’t think any concept of Them in my mind has really drifted from or made new additions to how it’s portrayed in canon. I can’t even say that I think they should hang out more, because the POINT is they’re both not very social and spend a lot of time alone, they give each other space out of RESPECT and UNDERSTANDING.

what do you like about their relationship, why is it interesting or enjoyable to you?

what about that ISNT interesting and so much fun. Just fundamentally the whole concept is. GREAT. I love you, Wave Buddies, whatever the fuck that means. ok im pretty sure itsjust short for wavelength as in on the same wavelength but itsreally funny how the first version of relationship chart in the manga. in english anyway. just calls them Wave Buddies with no context. Anyway their dynamic is absolutely BALLER. more characters should be doing whatever this is.

what about the individual characters involved? what does this relationship mean to them, what makes it unique among their relationships?

THIS IS WHERE I WISH WE KNEW MORE ABOUT EITHER SABURO OR KURURUS LIVES BEFORE THE SERIES!!!!!!!!! I really should read that manga chapter about how saburo was RAISED BY ALIENS but it hasn’t been translated and I don’t know how much context it would give on like… The point is like. With Giroro Keroro & Dororo we know a LOT about their childhoods and other parts of their lives before the start of the series, so we have plenty of information & context that helps to inform Who They Are and Things They Might Be Thinking and Possible Reasons They Make The Choices They Do. But we know next to nothing about Tamama and Kururu’s lives before the series, so we only have TINY bits of context, so most things you can come up with as “stuff that might be going on in their minds” or “possible larger-scale reasons for their actions” are just like, uh. SPECULATION thats the word. Same with the humans. We know many details of Fuyuki, Natsumi, & Momoka’s lives, so we know who they are on a large scale informed by their earlier childhoods and environment, and we KIND of know stuff about Koyuki’s life, but. What we know about Saburo’s life before the series is: he was raised by aliens until he was like 9, apparently. he started a radio show at one point. this concludes what we know about saburos life. The point is we don’t have the same Canon Indicators for what they think of each other the way we do with some other characters - like, Fuyuki has always been obsessed with aliens, of course Keroro is special to him, or, it makes sense for Dororo to be extra special to Koyuki because he’s the only thing in her life that’s the same after leaving her home.

But of course I guess we’re not that COMPLETELY barren of information. For one thing it’s pretty clearly shown several times that like. Kururu doesn’t actually like Being Disliked or having people say mean things about him. He’s dedicated to upholding his precious reputation of a Rude, Weird, and Dislikable Guy anyway, but he … doesn’t… he doesn’t want people to actually dislike him. He doesn’t like it. Saburo DOESN’T misunderstand him, and DOESN’T dislike him, Saburo thinks he’s COOL and INTERESTING. Saburo is IMPORTANT.

More than that we also have the manga chapter & anime episode that flashback to their original meeting, of which the central point is, they became friends because they found each other interesting. like it goes like this: the whole platoon got separated and got lost right after coming to earth, so kururu goes whatever i can invade by myself anyway, starts looking for high schoolers he can turn into his army but then Saburo Can See Him. Saburo Can See Him Through The Barrier That Only Aliens And People Who Already Know About The Existence Of Aliens Can See. And Kururu goes what the FUCK and then they have a big chase & dramatic anime fight through the whole school and in the ANIME. in the ANIME events lead to a Big Fucking Monster incident and then kururu is in danger by a Big Fucking Monster and saburo saves him and that’s part of why they become friends,. But in the MANGA that doesn’t happen.

In the manga Saburo is just a cocky smug little bitch even though he’s one random teenager fighting an alien with tons of weapons technology and training who he clearly has absolutely 0 chance of not DYING against and kururus like “Why the fuck are you being like this? You realize you’re definitely gonna die?” and saburo says something that in both the english translation and in the original japanese i dont… i dont have a fucking clue what hes getting at or trying to say? But whatever hes getting at kururus like “ok yknow what fine <3 ill stop trying to kill you lets help each other out instead”. And also in that chapter there’s a scene where they both think “he seems interesting” at each other and another point where saburo thinks kururu is gonna erase HIS memories along with the memories of everyone else who saw Saburo Destroying The School While Fighting Something Invisible and hes like NO THIS CANT HAPPEN WHEN IVE FINALLY MET SOMEONE INTERESTING so . Their deal is that they find each other interesting I guess.

favorite interaction they have in canon

oh my god i thought of a really good one earlier but looking thru the flashback chapter to their meeting totally threw it out of my brain. uhhh RIGHT RIGHT. in the anime its a secret that saburo is the one running the 623 radio show but its NOT a secret to kururu, and there’s an episode towards the end where saburo quits running it like Under A Manager, bc hes sick of people trying to push him to show his face in public and his like producers are trying to set up Face Reveal Events, and he ends up running the radio show Independently instead and kururu helps him by making an Invisible Flying Recording Booth for him to use and being the only other person involved in making the show.

Also all of episode 229b. obviously. you know how it is when your best friend is trying to sacrifice himself to save the world and you realize YOURE the one who made it possible for him to do that in the first place by giving him a pen of Make Anything You Draw Real that he can use as a weapon and if you dont fucking hurry hes going to DIE TONIGHT so you drop everything to work for hours straight and then go save him at the literal last second and then you have an interaction tbats just like “you know you could’ve died :/“ “yeah so lol. ok fine Thanks” bc both of you are insane

favorite interaction they have in your head/a situation you want to put them in

I get why they don’t live together & kururu lives in his lab instead, bc, you know, the whole loners who respect each others space thing, but like, it would be funny for kururu to live in saburos shitty little high schooler apartment or wherever he lives. Actually like. He probably DID for a while. In between allying with saburo & when he reunited with keroro and built the secret base. He had to at least be in easy CONTACT w saburo that whole time and like. I doubt he was living in the bushes. I can picture it now, the like, couple months of kururu living in this random kids apartment and definitely mercilessly insulting earth technology and probably upgrading random shit for lols so that saburo now has like, the most insane faucet in the world or whatever, and saburos just like whatever thats cool lol, want to watch bargain bin dvds with me.

#WHEEEEEEEE WEHEEEEEEE THANX 👍#I Wonder how long this took to write. i was Not paying attention #basilask

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wizkiddx · 3 years

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hiiiii !!! if you are accepting requests at the moment, can i ask something about reader and tom expecting a baby, one day while he’s drunk she sees him flirting with another women and when she confronts him he snaps at her and tells her he’s not ready for this “shit”. So they broke up and broke contact for months, until he shows in her apartment regretting his words and they talk but she suddenly at that moment gets into labor?!? I remember seeing a concept similar in a movie but I would love if you couldn’t bring it to life! Thank you so much in advance, appreciate your work a lot 🧸🤎

right so I loved this so much it has become a multiple parter and im not even going to apologise. so thanku so so much anon for getting me out a little rut!!!

summary: when toms caught out all hope looks lost - probs part 1 of 3 but it could get a bit longer too lol

warnings: serious angst, reference to abortion, cheating, a whole lot of swearing (im British sorry not sorry)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hi babe, just to let you know Yamna’s invited me out for dinner this evening so don’t worry if you get home early and im not back! I love you x”

It was a spur of the moment plan, which was a rarity recently. The past 5 months since you’d found out, you could name barely 5 occasions you’d been out past 8 oclock- trading your heels for fuzzy slippers and dresses for massively oversized tops and joggers. It wasn’t how you had expected to be spending the summer before your 25th birthday but it was now your life. The rooftop bars, the wild nights, the get aways had all sort of been cancelled for… for the rest of your life.

Because an 8 month pregnant belly isn’t something you can ignore.

Sure…. it wasn’t the plan. Not the plan to be pregnant with your boyfriend of only 6 months, who at the time you didn’t even live with. But you were making it work. And now, you were just excited. It was the start of a new story with Tom, and you’d got past the phase of being sad and mourning your youth. Because the little bubba inside of you, she was pretty awesome and you really couldn’t wait to meet her.

So yes, you had been home alone eating ice cream from a tub when Yamna knocked on the door. She’d been one of your best mates for as long as you could remember so when she’d turned up unannounced with mascara smeared under her eyes you’d cancelled your plans of a pathetic alone evening. Her boss had just given her the sack - which was no surprise. He was a backwards tory old git who couldn’t handle the fact Yamna was a woman doing the job better than he could ever dream of.

So yes, you’d suggested going out to the fancy new bar down the road - to celebrate the fact she no longer had to put up with the arsehole. Obviously you couldn’t drink and neither did Yamna, but you go to a bar for the atmosphere - and the selection of mocktails they had was insane.

Your boyfriend Tom was already out, he said he had a meeting and then dinner with some execs he needed to shmoosh. Of course you didn’t mind, but he had been working a lot recently, in order to be able to have the time off when your baby girl arrives.

So after sending a little text and giving Yamna another hug to try and turn the evening from disappointment to celebration you walked out the door with a smile on your face. Maybe you could pretend, just for an evening to not be pregnant and whale-like?

///////////////////////////

The bar was just a 10 minute walk so it wasn’t long before the two of you were soaking up the atmosphere. It was all decorated in a rustic fashion, with old exposed wood and dangling lightbulbs from the ceiling and the drinks were incredible. The type that have dry ice or flames or some other sort of fantastical display of edible decorations. Even Yamna had perked up, especially when a guy from the table across had bought you both a round of drinks.

“I’m just gonna pop to the loo.”

“Do you really need the toilet or do you just want to parade infornt of the fit rich man who keeps looking at you?”

“ Is both an option?” You laughed as Yamna slipped off her stool, winking rather dramatically as she did so. She was unbelievable - but at least this way she wasn’t thinking about her work, or lack thereof, anymore.

Happily you sat scrolling though your phone, seeing that tom had messaged you with an okay, before flicking through instagram.

And that was where the happiness ended.

For in a hurried manner, with a face looking a lot more ghosted than when she left, Yamna took her seat again.

“Are you okay?” Immediately your worry took over, the way she was biting her lip and not meeting your eyes not helping.

“I um yeh-yeh. Just I think I saw Tom.”

“Tom as in my Tom?” Her almost guilty looking nod had your scrunching your eyebrows, why was it such a big deal Tom was inside?

“He didn’t see me I don’t think but er… he just looked pretty close to a girl and I-“

To be honest you stopped listening at that point, heart dropping out the bottom of your chest. Because it made sense, he had been so distant recently and even if you’d been lying to yourself that it were work - this seemed much more likely. Whilst nodding along, pretending to listen to Yamna, instead your attention was solely focused on fiddling with the promise ring he’d got you after the two of you decided to keep the baby. He’d been so committed, so ready for this unexpected news. He’d said he was in for the long haul.

“Y/n?”

“sorry I um… it’s probably just a work colleague he needs to sweet talk. I’ll um-I’ll just go say hello.”

“I’m coming with you.” She spoke astutely, very much forcing herself into the situation.

“No no I’ll… I’ll come back if I need you, just wait here.”

Her face was so grim and destitute, as much as you were pretending it was okay - you knew it wasn’t. Before Yamna could protest further, you slipped off your seat ( clumsily thanks to the elephant belly) and walked with fake confidence back inside.

It took you barely 3 seconds to hone in on Tom, call it mothers intuition. He was on a booth in the corner with 5 others on his table but none of whom you recognised. It was 2 other guys and 3 girls - the six all paired off in mathcingly initimate conversations. Apart from that you payed almost zero attention to the others, attention solely focused on your boyfriend and the girl he had his arm round.

She was everything you weren’t. She was skinny - you, as previously mentioned, looked like you had a beachball stuffed under your top. She was blonde with sleek and perfectly styled waves at the tips of her long her - yours was thrown into a messy bun due to the last minute plans.

Most importantly - right now she was wrapped in Toms arms, whilst you stood alone watching.

God knows what came over you, but with confidence you never normally had you marched up to the table, just waiting at the end. One of the men you didn’t recognised, arrogantly asked you ‘can I help you’ - but you completely disregarded it, eyes solely fixed on Tom. He took a moment more to look away from the leggy girl, but as soon as he did his eyes grew massively wide.

“Y/n I-I-“

“Fancy bumping into you, I thought you were out with work executives?” Frantically casting his gaze across the table, you could see the cogs whirring to try and come up with an explanation.

“No I-I was but then Charlie here came over, we used to be mates at school and-“

“Oh fuck off Tom., I cant deal with this right now.”

You didn’t even have the energy to listen to his clearly fake excuses as to why he’d landed himself in that situation. You also certainly did not have it in you to maintain the strong face, you could feel everything shattering inside of you.

Because it was so blindingly obvious by how he had acted. You’d caught him out and you both knew it.

And it fucking hurt like hell.

So you exited the bar as fast as physically possible, hearing the shouts of both Yamna and Tom behind you. You didn’t know what you needed in that moment - except that neither of them were the answer. Tom though, presumably the faster of the two, managed to catch up - grabbing your arm to make you halt in the road.

There was this moment between the two of you that time almost seemed to freeze. The two of you, in an otherwise pretty empty residential street, at 9:30 at night, in a moment that you would never have again. From your point of view, you saw the slightly bloodshot and bleary eyes, widened with panic and fear. For Tom he saw the floods of tears down your cheeks, which you hadn’t even noticed were freely streaming.

But in that moment there was, at least, the slightest bit of peace. The slightest bit of hope - that he could explain, that he had some ludicrous but valid reason for the situation you had walked in on. Just a smidgen of hope that this were recoverable.

But then he had to open his bloody mouth.

“Y/n I swear nothing-“

“That didn’t look like fucking nothing!”

“It was I swear! We just-“

“Tom this is your one and only chance. I don’t care if your off your face, if you don’t give my a miracle of a reason as to what the fuck THAT was - then I’m gone.”

“Don’t say that Y/n, you don’t mean th-“ He tried to grab your hand which you snatched away, like you had just scalded it on a hot plate. Like he had hurt you.

“I swear to god I’ve never meant anything more. So cut the shit.”

“FIne-fine! Um so we were at the meeting and then on the way out I bumped into George and hes been a good mate of mine for years.” All you did was hum, arms crossed and making sure you had a metre of distance between the two of you.

“So he said god you look like you need a drink and I agreed because its been stressful as hell recently.”

“Oh its been stressful; for YOU has it? I’m so sorry Thomas, has it been hard for you while i’ve been throwing my lungs up with morning sickness? Has it been stressful that I’ve been running on zero hours sleep because she kicks me all bloody night? ” Your words were laced in a posioned sarcasm, to which Tom just stammered to.

“Please just let me.” Given he was supposed to be fighting for you, he sounded pretty darn defeated already.

“I said yes to the drink.” He skipped out the bit that had angered you, to which you rolled your eyes at. “And one turned into two and more and then I don’t know-“

“Your going to have to try a lot harder than that.” You deadpanned, taking a small step further back still.

“I mean it! The girls were all his friends and we were just talking.”

“Just talking? All pressed up and arms round her?”

“Yes!” As indignant as he retorted, it didn’t not make up for what you had seen with your own eyes.

“Your such a bullshitter Tom!”

“God why wont you just listen to me?” He cried, wobbly doing a little 360 on the spot, in what appeared to be exasperation.

“Because your just spouting fucking lies! And you try and blame it all on poor little tommo being stressed which is-“

“I HAVE BEEN! Running round after you! I’m just tired of this shit!!! So kill me, for having one night of freedom!”

Tom was too deep in his angry lecture to take any notice of you. Which is why, once finished, he waitied, breath heavy and nose flaring. He was waiting for you to scream back at him. To give it back. He was too drunk to notice the change in your demeanor.

“I’m tired of this shit.”

It was just reverberating round your head. Again and again and again. He was tired of your relationship and you hadn’t even become parents yet. He was at his wits-end and the baby was still unborn. What the fuck was going to happen when baby arrived? Clearly there was no hope. It was dead. Your relationship was dead with no chance of revival.

Because he’d said it. Your relationship was shit, and nobody can put up with something they hate for that long. Not 18 years. Not while bringing up a child.

So with a new sense of dread and fear and complete and total isolation you uttered three single words before hysterically running away.

“Don’t follow me.”

Not now, not ever.

?to be continued?

~~~~~~~~~~gahhhh I hope u enjoyed! I also REALLY CANNOT THINK OF A NAME FOR THIS MINISERIES --> if anyone can think of something pls inbox me!!! ~~~~~~~~

tom taglist: @lovehollandy12 @hollandlover19 @thefernandasantana @hunnybunimdun @hallecarey1@cedricdiggorysimpp @msmimimerton @hollandfanficlove @pandaxnienke @crossyourpeter @thegirlwiththeimpala @tom-softie @sunwardsss @spiitfiiires @radcloudenthusiast @ladykxxx08 @prancerrparkerr @wildxwidow @Elishi03 @arctic-monkcys @Ownbauer13 @tomhollandlol

#tom x reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland angst #tom holland one shot #tomholland #tom holland #tom holland imagines #tom holland oneshot #tom holland x reader #tom holland fluff #tom holland smut #tom holland angst #angsty #pregnant!reader

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mrs-march-ahs · 2 years

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Ok so recently my mom got a new boyfriend (at least I found out recently) and he has this daughter (keep in mind I don't have a problem with my mom dating) recently its come to my attention that he's living here at first I thought he was just staying for a bit but then he took his daughter from her mother and because the house isn't too big she has to sleep with me. Now here's when things start to get messy I don't recall from the past ever having trouble with kids but with her I HATE her. I'm a very closed-off person and I don't like people getting into my personal space and layout (the daughter) is the exact opposite of that. She clings to me all the time, she shouts at me, she hits me, she burps on me, farts on me, she marks up my bedroom walls, she feels up my boobs, and tries to look under my clothes, she bites me whenever I tell her to stop something, spitting in my hair, jumping up on the bed even if I tell her to stop because I'm not feeling well, she swears if I'm cooking something and it's not up to her speed she starts yelling at me and talking back not to mention if I leave my phone or my tablet for a short period she breaks into it and does so much crap and listens to the most disgusting of songs, once she went on and deleted all of my school work and it caused so many problems I told my mom all layona had was talking from her dad not to do it again. I'm a college student and I do most of my classes online so I'm always on some sort of call doing school work and she yells, she jumps onto the bed, and sometimes she gets so aggressive I have to just run from her and lock myself in the bathroom so I can have a moment to just breathe. And even when shes not misbehaving in some way she gets super attached hugging me, following me around, and as I mentioned I like my personal space, I like to just sit to myself and just breathe and enjoy the silence and lately with her I have none of that it's very rare I speak up or yell at her or go to her dad or my mom I just keep it to myself but today was a very emotional day for me so when she began her usual tantrum I locked myself into the bathroom and didn't open up until My mom came in and told me to after I came out not very long after layona began hugging me, sitting on top of me and for some reason, it just made me feel so much worse and so I went back into the bathroom again incase I didn't say it the reason why I was in the bathroom the first time was that I was having a breakdown so basically crying and just trying to get myself to stop because well I hate crying my mom comes back again and says for me to get out of the bathroom and so I do she asks why Im always in the bathroom I proceed to tell her the same thing I always tell her "layona is annoying" "I need my space shes overwhelming me" instead I got yelled at and she told layona to come out of the room later on she texted me and sent this really long message about she understands layona can be difficult, and ill mannered at times but I don't have the right to treat her as if she was nth (layona) and how Im selfish, self centered and unkind. It's not the first my mother ever said those words to me and I doubt it will be the last. Yes, I acknowledge the fact that I can be distant, cold, and lacking in emotions but majority of the times she said those things it hurt and I know you're, not in a position to tell if those words are true but do you believe I'm in the wrong for not being all holy golly, and sun shines towards layona??

(Sorry for the long ask and I think I'll use this emoji 🍭)

That sounds like a really awful situation to be in. I too, really value my own space and my own sense of security. Often times, when your room is your safe haven, things disturbing that (somebody moving things around) can make everything else seem more difficult.

I think it's perfectly reasonable to not want a child, who is essentially a stranger, in your room, touching your things and being all over you.

Secondly, you are not a bitch. You're not cold, selfish, self-centred or unkind. You are a human being with boundaries and limits just like everybody else. Being introverted or simply enjoying your own company and space (and needing it sometimes) is not better or worse than being extroverted and feeling comfortable around people all the time. Introvert = Extrovert. Not better or worse.

That sounds really frustrating, and I don't mean to dismiss your feelings when I suggest you try and see things from her point of view. She just moved in with her dad and his new girlfriend and daughter. I'm sure she is excited to have an older sibling to hug and be close with and spend time with. That of course does not excuse how rude she is (when you said about cooking for example).

Thirdly, my biggest advice is this. Talk to your mother again. Try not to yell or get upset but tell her, as maturely as you can, that Layona is an absolutely fucking unbearable spoilt fuck. Just kidding. Tell her about Layona deleting your school work and interrupting your studies. Tell your mother that her dad and your mom need to be spending more time with her, so that you suddenly have the job of raising a child you didn't ask for.

Lastly, as hard as it is, I think if you get to know Layona and build any sort of relationship with her, then it will be much easier to tell her what you want. If you don't want to be her big sibling, that's okay, but put some time aside to spend time with her. Next time she comes bothering you in your room when you're doing something, say 'Right now I have homework (or whatever else) to do. I think I will be done with this in an hour, and then we can do something together'. And stick.to.it. Tell her that if she leaves you for an hour to do something you wanna do, that you'll take her on a walk, colour with her, or watch a movie with her. If she doesn't let you be, be strict. Close the door and put a chair in front of it if you must. I don't think you mentioned how old she is but children usually just want attention. Once that attention is promised (in an hour) then she'll have to just wait. Ignore her until she gets bored and then stick to your promise and do something with her.

I really hope you resolve this and have your own secure space and time back. Update me on the situation !

#mma advice?!#mama march

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deniigi · 4 years

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I WOULD LOVE A DAVE FIC !!!

Excellent. Here’s for you and @dudewhereismy-tardis

I am putting most of it under the cut because it is LONG

Dave (Daredevil copycat from Inimitable Verse) POV. Reminder that Dave is not his real name, but one given to him disdainfully by Wade in this verse.

Title: rises in the east

------------

“Dad.”

What?

“Dad.”

What time was it?

“Your phone’s ringing,” Charlie said. “It’s the boss.”

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

“Give it here,” Dave rasped, throwing an arm over his eyes.

“Mom said you’re gonna hurt your back sleepin’ on the couch,” Charlie reported as she shoved his phone into his palm.

“My couch, my rules,” Dave said. He crammed the phone to his ear. “Ansel here,” he said.

Charlie wanted to stay home and if she was a year older, Dave would have let her. But alas. The last time he’d let her stay home, she’d texted her friend Jesse who had become unspeakably jealous and had appealed to her own parents for such freedoms, and now the whole block thought that Dave recklessly abandoned his daughter when he went to the goddamn grocery store.

All that for a can of Sprite, man.

This neighborhood was off the fuckin’ charts sometimes.

Case in point: Dani standing in front of him in the lobby with her hands on her hips, telling him that he needed to wear a tighter t-shirt or to start flexing because they were losing business.

“Dani, I’m an instructor,” he reminded her. “I’m hired to do classes.”

“It’s two hours,” Dani said. “Take the damn fliers.”

But he didn’t want to?

Dani blinked at him slowly from under her headband.

Charlie was having a great time and Dave was glad for that because he was not. He was being stared at by every person in the street as if they’d never seen a dude with muscles before.

It was the shirt.

He knew it was the shirt.

And possibly his nipples. Smashing the brochures high enough against his chest to cover them wasn’t going well and the highlighter teal underarmor Dani had forced upon him left very little to the imagination here.

There wasn’t anything else to do but let the poor things live their best lives.

“Dad, gimme more,” Charlie said.

She tugged at the brochures covering what was left of his dignity.

Blessed child, who hurt you?

“Where did the others go?” he asked her.

Charlie pointed across the road to a gaggle of ladies leaning out from their stoop, smiling.

Ah.

Yes.

Them.

“Let’s try for someone who looks more like a bro,” he told his offspring.

Charlie blinked up at him.

“Why?” she asked.

Oh, baby.

“Because they’re an easy mark,” he said. “Go up and say ‘my dad can take you’ and send ‘em my way, okay?”

Charlie’s face went from confused to ready to kill instantly.

This was her game face. This was her ‘I’m gonna wreck this goalee’s teeth’ face.

Dave shouldn’t have been proud of her, really; her teachers said that she was becoming argumentative and obstinate in the classroom. But there was just something there in the fact that his kid sure as shit wasn’t no sheep that made his chest feel big, wide, and full of hot air.

“I’m on it,” Charlie said.

He gave her three brochures and let her scramble off to the other side of the sidewalk and then turned to meet the eye of a family with a father with neat hair and the beginnings of triceps peeking out from under his sleeves.

“You lookin’ for a gym, sir?” he asked.

The guy looked his way and eyed him up.

He took a flier on his way past.

“Excuse me?”

“One second, man,” Dave said, doing the rock-shuffle to keep all the fliers on the table from blowing away.

“Excuse me.”

“Hey, I said just a sec,” Dave snapped.

He turned back and found himself staring into the dark eyes of a bald man with olive skin and deep wrinkles in his forehead.

And Dave knew him.

Holy shit.

Dave knew him.

Fuck.

God.

Jesus, Lord.

“I am so sorry,” he started.

“DAD.”

Ch—Charlie?

He looked down and sure enough, holding Rudolph ‘Diamond’ De Luca’s massive bearpaw was his very own daughter. De Luca made her wiry, suntanned limbs seem like unbaked pretzels.

He was so much bigger than he’d seemed on TV all those years ago.

“This your kid?” De Luca asked.

Jesus.

“She is. I’m so sorry,” Dave said, “Did she—she didn’t bite you or anything, did she?”

“Dad,” Charlie whined. “Don’t tell ‘im that.”

“I’ll pay for whatever damage—” Dave continued.

De Luca blinked at him impossibly slowly with long dark eye lashes. He turned his face slowly back down towards Charlie.

“You sure this is your old man?” he asked.

Wh—

Wait.

What the hell did that mean?

“That’s him,” Charlie moaned. “He’s just bein’ dumb. Dad. Stop bein’ dumb. This dude’s the real deal. He’ll fight you in a heartbeat.”

Dave grabbed his child before she could cause any more damage. She made a fuss, but let go of De Luca’s mitt. Dave shoved her behind him, just in case this situation got any more tense than it needed to be.

De Luca lifted an eyebrow at that and then brought his face back up to Dave’s.

“Who’s gym?” he asked.

What?

Oh.

“Spitfire,” Dave said. “We’re, uh, just about there, on the—”

“I know where you’re about,” De Luca said.

Dave didn’t know what to say. De Luca held his eye.

Oh, god.

This wasn’t going well.

“How old are you, son?” De Luca asked.

FFFFFFFFFFFffffffffffffuck.

“38,” Dave said.

“And your baby girl?” De Luca asked, gesturing with his chin down at Charlie.

“I’m 12,” Charlie told him brightly.

“Hm,” De Luca said.

He shifted his weight back and wrapped a few fingers around his chin, surveying Dave’s whole body like he was the statue of David with a knee injury.

Dave became intimately aware of his nipples again.

“Not bad,” De Luca said.

Oh, thank god.

“Thank you, sir,” Dave said. “Is there, uh, somethin’ I could help you with?”

“You got an accent,” De Luca noted.

Uh?

“A good accent,” De Luca said. “Whereabouts did you grow up?”

Oh.

Well.

Dave could actually just point to it from here. The condo was still standing, despite all building codes and actual alien invasions. At this point, the only thing that was gonna take it down were the rampant, rapidly mutating, borderline feral gangs of chickens that roamed its halls.

Not that anyone spoke about them.

No, that was inviting trouble to your doorstep.

“The chicken coop?” De Luca said.

The one and only.

“Bless you, you poor fuck.”

Yeah, that tended to be the usual reaction.

De Luca laughed.

“You’re a funny guy, uh,” he squinted at Dave’s nametag, “Ansel?”

How could a word sound so wrong in someone’s mouth?

Where had Dave’s life gone wrong that his own name sounded so foreign and distant to his ears?

“Actually,” he said, swallowing, “My uh, my friends call me ‘Dave.’”

De Luca’s head snapped right up and slowly, a grin spread across his face.

“Oh, now, that’s a good name for ya,” he said. “You look like a Davy.”

Hng.

Diamond De Luca thought he looked like a ‘Davy.’

Welp.

Time to get that birth certificate changed.

“Listen, Davy,” De Luca said casually, “Your baby girl there was tellin’ me that your boss has you out here like dancin’ monkey; is that true?”

Fffffffffff.

Technically yes?

“It’s even his day off,” Charlie whispered.

Dave wrapped a hand over her face.

“It’s fine,” he said. “It happens. Folks’ve been sick lately. I don’t normally do this kinda thing.”

De Luca’s face said that that was real cute. Real, real cute, honey.

“Well,” he said, “Let’s just say it like this. Where you work don’t gotta be where you train.”

Oh.

Was he offering--?

“If you decide to drop by, tell the guy at the desk Rudy sent you,” De Luca said. “Your kid’s real sweet, Davy. She can come too, lord knows the damn place is a daycare at this point.”

“Thank? You?” Dave stuttered.

“Don’t mention it,” De Luca said.

He left. Dave watched him waltz down the block and wave at the gals collected on the stoop at the end of it and felt a little lightheaded.

“Dad?”

Not right now, champ.

“Dad? Is he famous or somethin’?”

HHHHHHHHHHNG.

Back when Dave had been 14 and scraping the tips of his fingers into callouses on the old guitar he’d found tossed into a dumpster in the Upper West Side, he’d had to compete with the sound of the couple fighting in the apartment next door and with the radio the old man downstairs always had playing on his fire-escape window.

The old man downstairs was a real hard-ass. Always slammed a broom into the ceiling, scaring the shit out of Mom and Dad and sister and auntie. Dave had never seen him not smoking, nor had he ever seen him without suspenders.

The man was a retired plumber, apparently. And while Jim Beam was his main vice, his passion was boxing.

To the tune of chords picked out of an out-of-tune guitar, Dave had listened to tinny commentators oohing and awing over match after match, until finally, when sleep wouldn’t come one night, Dave had snuck out of the room he’d shared with Flora. He’d settled down on the living room couch, next to his old man splayed out in the recliner.

Dad had lifted his eyes slowly his way and told him that he should have been in bed.

Dave had told him that he couldn’t sleep because the couple next door was makin’ up from their daily afternoon argument and Dad had just sighed.

He’d let Dave stay up with him and the TV in the living room had fuzzed and rattled away, making sounds really familiar to Dave at that point.

Boxing was a sport that he had, up until that night, left to his father. But for the lack of anything else to talk about that wouldn’t make his dad look at him with disappointment in his eyes for all that damn music-playin’ and eyeliner, he’d asked who the guy on the screen was.

And that was how he’d learned about Diamond De Luca.

About Kenny Varga. Bert ‘The Albatross’ Kleinfeld.

But there was one guy who Dad had mentioned was his favorite rookie and, now it felt both kind of silly and surreal that the name had been spoken so casually in Dave’s home growing up.

Dad had been puttin’ money on Battlin’ Jack Murdock back when Dave had been a little kid.

He told Dave, disappointedly, after a few weeks of Dave getting up at 12:30 to come out and watch boxing with him that he’d really thought that Murdock was gonna be the next big thing.

Guy was a wolf in sheep’s clothing, Dad had said, shaking his head. But wolves that got too wily got put down and Battlin’ Jack had been found in an alley, bled out in the arms of his reason for fighting.

Dad said it was a fuckin’ shame that Murdock had gone out with a slug in his head.

A fuckin’ shame, he said.

Dave didn’t remember him every saying that Murdock’s reason for fighting was a blind ten-year-old, but the thought was now merged with that memory.

That, in itself, was merged with the memory of Dave’s phone ringing one night was Addie’s name on the Caller ID. Her voice was shaking when she told Dave that the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen had just called her from an unknown number.

He had their baby.

He’d snatched her and Jesse out of the arms of two men looking for girls to be used in businesses Dave didn’t want to think about.

He’d saved them.

The devil had heard their screams when no one else had and he’d come flying out of the dark.

He’d held the girls in the light of a bodega and he’d coached Charlie through typing Addie’s number into his phone and then he’d taken it from there.

Addie was too scared to go meet the devil on her own. Mason hadn’t been around yet and so Dave had thrown on his shoes and had meet her on 46th.

The devil was on 48th, swinging his boots with both girls in his lap.

They were all singing. The devil had pretended like he didn’t know the words to Britney Spears’s ‘Toxic.’

Matt Murdock was under that mask.

Knowing that this whole time, he’d been the one dragging a stick against the fences and bricks of Hell’s Kitchen was almost impossible to digest.

And Dave had worked with him now.

He’d seen that smirk and that notorious jaw unwrapped from its red armor and that didn’t make reconciling the murdered boxer’s son with the man who’d saved his daughter any easier.

Charlie hadn’t remembered him.

She thought that Matt Murdock was a weird fuckin’ dude, and granted, he was a weird fuckin’ dude, but Dave had to say: he was grateful.

Matt Murdock not only brought home his baby, but he’d given Dave purpose in a life that had become consumed by the daily grind.

Matt Murdock had smiled in his direction, never quite into his eyes, and he’d passed along the baton with next to no fight.

Dave wasn’t him.

Dave would never be him.

Matt Murdock wasn’t just some poor murdered boxer’s blind son. He was the product of some serious poverty. Some serious violence. A whole fuckin’ cult induction, if he was to be believed. And Dave wasn’t so sure if he was always to be believed.

But he still appreciated Matt Murdock for what he’d done and what he’d made for this part of the city.

He’d made Daredevil.

And he shared that with Dave.

Dave’s own dad’s approval hadn’t felt like the honor that had come with Matt Murdock’s covered eyes and curled lip slowly relaxing as he’d lifted his face up from Dave’s knees.

He hadn’t been inspecting.

He’d been listening. Dipping his fingers into the blood in Dave’s heart and deciding if he was worth his salt.

Matt Murdock, son of Battlin’ Jack Murdock, was a product of Fogwell’s Gym in the Kitchen.

Diamond De Luca, retired heavyweight, was a product of Fogwell’s Gym.

The stars had aligned. And Dave had stood in their path.

And he wasn’t wasting the chance that they offered him.

Charlie was stoked to be allowed to come to the gym with him. She usually went to Jesse’s house, where Rubes would look after both girls for a few hours.

But De Luca had said that it was okay for her to come along, and so he figured, why not?

Fogwell’s was an institution in the Kitchen. All kids deserved to know their own history.

“I’m gonna fight Fogwell himself,” Charlie announced halfway down the block.

“You will not,” Dave told her. “Because I’m not tryin’ to get thrown out before we even get started here, alright?”

Charlie whined.

He ignored it.

This wasn’t the first time he’d been to the gym. Matt Murdock slipped in and out of it when he was in the city and he’d taken the whole team there once or twice. But it was different to be there in the presence of the daytime crew.

Dave felt very small in their presence.

The whole place was full of people pounding bags and swearing and shouting at kids who were tumbling all over the rows of benches set off to the side of the bags.

It was not what Dave had been expecting.

He told the guy at the front that ‘Rudy’ had recommended that he stop by and got a nod and a wave.

“He’s probably upstairs,” the receptionist said. “Go pick a bag, I’ll give him a buzz.”

Charlie refused to join the kids on the benches because apparently that was ‘only for babies, Dad.’ She wanted to hold the bag.

She was not, in one thousand years, holding the bag.

Dave wrapped her hands and let her go at it first to ‘soften it up’ for him.

De Luca caught him adjusting the demon-child’s thumbs before they ended up at the hospital again and laughed.

“Davy-boy, you made it,” he said.

Dave snapped up straight to attention.

“I did,” he said.

De Luca laughed again.

“Relax, kid,” he said. “Damn, you’re tight wound. Don’t worry, we won’t tell no one you’re sleepin’ with the enemy.”

Ahahahaha.

Please don’t.

These people were jacked. Dave was but a kickboxing instructor.

“Here, bub, lemme see what your pops has got,” De Luca said, shooing Charlie out of the way.

And this was the moment of truth.

De Luca seemed surprised when Dave finally laid off the bag. And Dave couldn’t read his expression for a million bucks.

“Uh?” he tried. “Not good?”

De Luca blinked himself back to earth.

“Oh, no,” he said. “It’s just uh, you fight a little like someone I know.”

Please don’t say a mobster.

“Kid used to live around here; name’s Matt Murdock,” De Luca said. “You know him?”

Did—

Did he know him?

QUICK. Answer the question.

You’re takin’ too long.

He’s gonna—

“S’alright if you don’t,” De Luca said. “I was just sayin’. Kid was like one of my own.”

He—

What?

“Yeah, boy fought like the devil like his daddy before ‘im,” De Luca said. “He’s the only one Fogwell lets call him ‘Grandpa.’ He’s about your age, actually. God, I’m old.”

AHAHAHAHAHA.

Please change the subject.

“You’re not that old,” Dave said. “I think I might have heard the name.”

Charlie looked up at him, baffled at the hedging.

He pleaded with her with his eyes not to say a damn word.

“Yeah, he’s somethin’, left here for San Francisco. Didn’t even say good-bye, the little shit,” De Luca sniffed. “Came back last year all ‘I’m gettin’ married’ and I swear to god, he’s picked up some kid. Just between you and me, pal, the old guard here have been talkin’, and we think that someone missed out on the sex ed talk, if you know what I’m sayin’.”

Oh.

Poor Sam.

He wasn’t even there to scream from the mountaintops that Red was a last resort for him at best.

“I’m just sayin’,” De Luca said with a shrug that spoke far more of supreme irritation than nonchalance, “He coulda just told us. I’m just sayin’.”

Any more ‘just sayin’s’ and Diamond De Luca was gonna go find a wall to bury them in.

“Did you, uh, have any feedback?” Dave blurted out as the guy started mumbling.

“Hm?”

“Feedback,” Dave repeated, waving a gloved hand at the bag.

“Oh. Yeah, loads, kid. You got all the muscles and not a damn lick of memory, here, lemme show you.”

Crisis averted.

Thank god.

D2: hey uh, DD?

SM: DAVE

S2: DAVEEEE

S3: DAVE

SM: what’s up man?

D2: nothing I was just trying to get ahold of DD?

BT: He’s trying to get Kirsten to give up her dreams of an indoor office pond rn. Can I help?

SM: I want an indoor office pond

S3: omg same

D2: uh yeah actually could you just tell him I met a guy named De Luca the other day and he might want to give him a call?

BT: de Luca?

D2: yeah

BT: okay sure thing

D2: thanks

BT: I’ll go see if I can get a word in edgewise.

SM: good fucking luck

S2: I hate fish

S3: leave this place and never return

S2: I HATE FISH

DD: WHAT

SM: oh shit that was quick

D2: oh. I was just saying that I met Diamond De Luca the other day?

SM: ?? Who’s that?

DD: oh no

S2: ??????????????

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): who the fuck is that?

DD: are you still with him?

D2: no?

D2: he caught me out fliering and invited me to Fogwell’s

D2: and when I got there he mentioned my stance was like yours and he uh

D2: got a little distracted

DD: what kind of distracted?

D2: He thinks Sam’s your bastard kid

BT: GODDAMNIT

DD: FOR FUCKS SAKE

BT: First Mrs. Jones, now this guy?? TEACH.

DD: These people have zero faith in me I swear to god.

DD: like come ON man. I did sex ed in the same class as Angie he knows I’m too catholic for that shit

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): I looked this man up and he looks like an Italian nate with less hair

SM: wh

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): okay you’re right he looks nothing like nate

SM: that

SM: that’s not even slightly helpful, wade, thanks not at all. Hey who’s angie?

DD: long story. Rudy’s daughter

S2: RED YOU FUCKED A BOXERS DAUGHTER?? That’s a million dollar baby man

DD: I

DD: what?

DD: no? Why would I fuck angie she’s like my sister?

S2: oh nvm

SM: 😬😬😬

S3: I am confused ❤

D2: you should probably call him, friend

DD: on it. thanks for the notice

DD: hey what’s your fuckin name again?

S2: f

S3: f

SM: f

D2: It’s Ansel

DD: Adams?

D2: not the photographer. Ansel West.

SM: WEST

S2: OMG

S3: guys don’t

SM: I BET YOURE A SUNSET DAVE

S2: YOU EVER FEEL CALLED TO THE PRAIRIE DAVE???

SM: YOU’RE A&W, DAVE!!

S2: ROOT BEER ROOT BEER

D2: ah yes. Middle school. I remember this feeling.

Dave laid his phone on his chest and stared back up at the ceiling.

It was never dull, this new life he’d settled into.

He said a prayer for Murdock and rolled onto his side.

It was still his goddamn couch.

#fic #inimitable verse #ficlet #team red

174 notes · View notes

ivyuns · 4 years

Text

moral of the story ❆

han jisung

genre: angst

word count: 2.8k

warnings: hella sad breakups + cheating + language

A/N: listen to moral of the story by ashe + i need to stop falling asleep while writing, istg this was better in my brian

part one | part two

masterlist

so i never really knew you, god i really tried to.

you started dating your best friend since you were a kid and never regretted one bit of the memories you two shared. you knew dating an idol would be tough but jisung never made it hard for you. sure some stays didn’t accept you, but stray kids was there to help you get through it. after two years of the relationship, it was still healthy or that’s what you wish it was.

stray kids was currently in japan for their tour for two months and god, you missed your boyfriend. the past now four months was hell for you. jisung started to stay in the studio all day and night, then coming home for two hours then went back to the studio. you would stay up for him to come home then him just ignoring you, feeling neglected. all you wanted from him was at least one ‘i love you’. you don’t even remember when was the last time he said it to you.

thought we could really this but, really i was foolish.

you could remember the day he was head over heels for you before he asked you out. exactly two years ago, hyunjin who was jisung’s best friend had told you that jisung had a crush on you. you never understood since you always saw jisung flirting with other girls which broke your heart. you wish you were the only girl for him.

you ignored hyunjin and continued walking to your next class til someone pulled you back and kissed your lips. you widen your eyes as you see it’s your best friend kissing you; han jisung. your mind can’t process anything after you just had your first kiss by a man you loved ever since you were a kid. a for this day, you won’t forget about that very special moment of yours.

4 months go by and you and jisung had your first fight. it was stupid. so stupid. you visited jisung after changbin texted you to come feed your baby since he was producing songs at such a late time. you made his favorite meal and drove to the jyp building where jisung was.

you showed your id to the scanner to open the security door for the building and was greeted by jyp himself. “hello y/n! here looking for you boyfriend?” he laughed. you smiled and did a 90 degree bow. “hi jinyoung!” and laughed. “ah y/n, you don’t need to be so polite. your mother taught you so well! anyways, jisung is the studio room where he always is.” he patted your back and left after you said a thank you.

you go to the room where he is and there you see, a stress jisung with his hair messy and eye bags under his eyes. you go up to him and placed the bag of food in front of him. jisung automatically looks up and sees your beautiful face, his one and only. he smiles with tired eyes and hugs you.

“baby when did you get here?” he muttered and peppers you with his kisses. “like 5 minutes ago, your boss kept me for a minute.” jisung quickly lets his arm loosen around you and panicked. “did he ask to break up with me!?” he lightly shouted. “no baby, he was telling me where you were” you smiled. jisung exhaled our loud, thankful for jyp for accepting you.

you two cuddled on the chair til jisung let’s you have a sneak peak of their new song. you strected your limbs and felt your hand touch a random button. the music was peaceful til all you heard was statics. your head faced jisung’s as he let go of your body, making you stand up while he went to check on the song that was saved on his laptop.

jisung’s hands started to pull his hair off of his scalp as he tried to not yell at you but failed. “are you serious y/n?! that took weeks to finish and you just corrupted the file!” jisung shouted. your lips quivered in fear, not knowing how to reply. “jisung, babe, you can make a new one. its oka-” .. “no its not okay!”. words after words, jisung had a few ugly words spit out of his lips that made you feel more useless. “all you do is come here and annoy me and the boys when we need to work our asses off. just because we act nice to you doesnt mean the boys always have a soft spot for you in their heart. just go and never come back. why did i even like you in the first plac-” jisung was cut off by a door slamming shut.

oh how much did he regret saying those words to you. he knew you were insecure, especially when you feel like youre bothering others. he sat down in his chair and wiped the tears off of his face after seeing the face look you had before you left, full of fear.

you on the other hand was walking to the exit of the building with you head down. ‘hes not going to run after me anyways’.

you walked inside your apartment, full of sadness as you can’t get the words jisung had said about you out of your head. you lay on your cold and empty, but soft bed. looking beside you is where jisung is supposed to be at. turning to your bedside table, you see a picture of you and jisung on your first date as an official couple. you had a cotton candy cone in your hand as you tried to feed a piece to jisung til he kissed your lips. how grateful you were for hyunjin to take a picture of that very special of yours.

tears started falling as you drifted to sleep, not noticing the missed calls and messages from stray kids, especially jisung.

the fight had lasted for almost two week and you felt like shit. you haven’t ate a full meal and haven’t left your bed unless it was for your hygiene reasons.

you stood up a bit too fast and stared feeling weak. you shrugged it off and continued walking to your bathroom which was connected to your room. as you turn on the bathroom lights, your eyes were blinded and started to see black and fell.

jisung on the other hand felt so different. his mind wouldn’t focus on the music, instead it was you. he went to your apartment the past 5 days to talk to you only to see the pin number to enter your apartment to change. first he tried your anniversary day with him, then his birthday, then your birthday, then day when you and jisung got your very first couple pet but nothing worked. today, he went by as he left notes under the doormat everytime he came by, only to see the notes untouched when he went to place another one.

he felt something bad had happened to you so he quickly ran to the dorm to search where you placed the ‘emergency key’ for your place in case something happened. jisung bursted through the entry way of the dorm as he scared the other ‘00 liners. “woah hyung, what are you doing?” seungmin asked.

“i’m trying to find the key for y/n apartment” jisung panted while looking everywhere, “you know the one for emergencies?” hyunjin stood up with his keychain in his hand. “oh you mean this one?” and showed the key with a little picture of you and jisung on it.

jisung immediately grabs the keychain and runs back to your place with a yelling hyunjin behind him, telling him to be careful.

he arrives at your place and places the key into the lock. he rushes to every room to see if his sunshine is in one of the room. he went upstairs and to the room. he saw the bed looking all cold, even feeling cold with your phone thrown at the wall in the corner and picture frames of you and jisung faced down. he went to the closet and felt relived as you didn’t try to run away. lastly, he went to the bathroom and rushed to your cold figure.

he sees your pale figure and realizes you’re not breathing. tears sprung out of jisungs eyes as he rushed you to the hospital.

“i’m so sorry baby”.

you woke up with the sun beaming to the room, a unfamiliar room. you turn your head to see jisung with his hands linked to yours and tears staining his face as he peacefully sleep. your hands twitch and jisung lifts his head quickly. he looks at your with worry eyes and hugs you, “im sorry my love. if i didnt yell at you that night, you wouldnt be in this state. im so sorry y/n.” jisung sobs into your shoulder.

“jisung, baby, its fine. as long as you realize your mistake and come back, its fine. thank you but what happened? why am i here?” your smiled coming down as it dropped as you remembered what happened.

“the doctors said you were lacking nutrients for your body and lost a lot of weight. those could making you feel lightheaded and a risk of passing out. god y/n, if i didn’t go back to the place, you would still be laying on the bathroom floor with no help.” jisung starts to sob even more as you bring his head to your chest, hugging him and telling him ‘it’s okay’.

i said ‘some people fall in love’ with the wrong people sometimes.

you came home after a long day of work. you unlocked your door to see jisung’s shoes on the side and smiled. you walked upstairs and you swore you heard a female voice .. on a call?

the bedroom door was cracked open so you quietly eavesdropped. “i gotta go babes, y/n is home” jisung whispered to the phone. babes? “ok sungie i’ll see you later!” a high pitch voice came out of the phone.

jisung got up from the bed and went to open the door, looking for you as you pretended you just came up from the stairs. “hi baby, how was work?” jisung asks innocently. “it was a lot. can we cuddle?” you went up to him and hugged him. jisung nodded and led you to the bed to cuddle, eventually falling asleep.

it was currently 2 am and you woke up with jisung still sleeping next to you. you almost fell back asleep til you heard a notification from jisungs phone. as his screen lit up, you saw the name of the sender and it broke you.

jiseo 💗

i thought you’re coming over baby ?

please don’t tell me you’re with that bitch still.

i thought you were gonna break up with her today babe?

so this is why hes been so distant. you put the phone away and fall into your slumber, wishing it was just a nightmare.

some mistakes get made. that’s alright that’s okay.

you waved a goodbye to jisung and the boys as they headed to their plane for their japan tour. the night before, you talked to their manager and asking if you could follow along. the manager agreed so now you wait for the next day to go to japan.

you packed all your belongings and headed to the airport. you passed security and handed you ticket to board the plane. as the plane took off, a notification lit up your phone.

jisung baby 🐿💕

hi baby we just finished rehearsing

i miss you already

y/n 💓

i miss you too, stay safe baby <3

after sending jisung a quick message, you exited the app and saw your wallpaper of you and jisung on your first year anniversary date. where the relationship was still full of love. a tear fell onto your screen, missing the feeling of being loved by your significant other. after a little session of your crying, you decided to take a nap of the remainder of the trip.

you think that you’re in love when you’re really in pain.

you arrived at the airport close to where stray kids was touring at. you had called their manager to pick you up, also letting him know you had landed safely to see your jisung.

you waiting about 10 minutes til you saw a car window roll down in front of you, yelling your name. you looked up and saw the driver, noticing it’s their manager. you got up and brought your luggage to the car with the help of him.

during the car trip back to their hotel, you told the manager about you and jisung. you tell him how he’s been really distant and you don’t feel loved again. all he tells you is that everything will be okay and he’s probably just stress from all the comeback and producing.

you two arrived at the hotel and walked in. the manager gives you an extra key card to jisung’s shared room with jeongin. “what if jeongin is in the room with him?” you asked him, feeling worried. “ah don’t worry y/n. i told jeongin that you’re coming to surprise jisung so he’s in the room with seungmin and changbin.” he reassured you. you thanked him and went to the door number of where your boyfriend was staying.

you put the card in the key holder and opens it. you walk inside and lift up your head to see a naked jisung and a naked girl under him. seeing the sweat glistening on his perfect golden skin and hearing moans and grunts made you sick. this must be the jiseo he’s been talking to.

“han jisung!” you yelled out to get the two people’s attention. jisung quickly turns his head to the door to see you with tears falling down your cheeks.

“baby i-” you cut off jisung.

“no! now i know you’re so distant to me. because you cheated on me. i came here to surprise you, not to see you put your dick in someone.” you paused for a second after harshly wiping the tears falling. “i don’t understand what i did wrong jisung. w-was this 2 years just a joke to you? our best friend days?” you sobbed. at this point, the girl who was under jisung had escape from his embrace and ran away after putting on her clothes.

“y/n i can explain!” you roll your eyes in annoyance, not wanting to hear his side after you found out everything. “explain what!? that you’ve been cheating on me? i loved you even when you still went behind my back and cheat on me.” your fingers touched the promise ring on your left ring from jisung which was from your first anniversary.

“jisung, from today and so on, we’re broken up. please don’t try to contact me.” you took off your ring and threw it to him. you grabbed the handle of your luggage and left his room. after hearing the door shut, loud sobs left you as changbin who heard everything went to comfort you.

jisung, who heard your sobs aftwr the door shuts made him feel weak. he doesn’t even know why he ended up cheating on you. you were the best girlfriend anyone could ask for and he just ruined everything.

he went to pick up the ring and saw the inside of the ring. ‘sunshine <3’ he read. jisung slid down the wall with the ring still in his hand and started bawling. ‘i’m sorry y/n’.

after the comfort from changbin, you broke the hug. “changbin, please tell jisung i said thank you for everything and his stuff will be on his bed.” thanking changbin and gathered you stuff and flew back to korea after spending your savings in under a day for a jerk.

you got back to your place and quickly went to pack jisungs gifts he gave you, his hoodies, and the memories placed in the photo frames. from best friends to lovers, and now exes. looking at the pictures made you cry more. after what he did, you still love him.

finally getting everything together, you went to go to the boys dorm to return jisungs stuff. you entered his bedroom and placed the box on his bed, waiting for his arrival. you went to look for a paper and pen and wrote:

‘ily’

after putting the materials back where they were, you saw a picture frame of you and jisung on his nightstand. you grabbed the frame and opened his nightstand drawer to storage it, only seeing something that caught your eyes; a small black velvet box. you open it to see a diamond ring. a ring you always dreamed of.

quickly putting the items back in his drawer, you looked at the whole dorm, reminiscing the memories made here. you left the key that jisung had gave you on the table and opened the front door. making sure to lock it before you leave. wiping the tear the threaten the fall after remembering the ring he was going to propose to you with, you shut the door and went back to your apartment.

in the end its better for me. thats the moral of the story babe.

END <3

lmao i might just do a part two-

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steponmepinkjun · 3 years

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THE POV HOLDING FELIXS HAND NOOO IM DEVASTATED OMG i cant say ive held his hand but i did hi five it once. 10/10 experience his smile is radiant up close it blinded me. anygays youre right, the kpop industry highkey supports delulu fan behaviour, like to the point it sometimes causes a lot of harm, but for the fans who know how to draw boundaries its Heaven. the whole reason i like skz so much in particular tho is bc of how genuine they are - ive been a kpop fan for years now, ive stanned over a dozen groups; not that any of them were Ingenuine, but they were all just doing their job. being idols. its literally in the name. skz take it to the next level because they're like our friends. they dont try force the "dating ur idol" image and their target audience is just everyone who needs a safe space. they care so much and their hearts are so big and that's something i think you genuinely cant fake.

but just to back it up some more - as an aussie i know like 3 diff ppl who know a guy who know a guy etc. who knew felix, and the unanimous agreement was that he was a dork but an absolute Sweetheart. everyone whos ever worked with felix says hes practically an angel. and im a scorpio (rmb bulldozer anon hehe) so im always right abt vibes and his vibes r Immaculate. point is its not delusional to think that skz are authentic and real with us and some of the kindest people you'll ever meet; images can and often Are fabricated, but you'll never meet another idol group this genuine.

gonna sign off as felix bi anon this time hehe

Okay, wait, WAIT

HI, HELLO, are we just going to speed past the SEVERAL BOMBS YOU DROPPED HERE???????

You're just gonna drop in, go, "Hi, I have been in the same room with THE Lee Felix™, close enough to reach over and snatch one of his freckles off his cute lil nose—something that's only the most distant and impossible daydream for your poor broke ass livin' in the middle of East Jesus, Nowhere—no biggie tho." Which, first of all, is DEEPLY offensive because I KNOW he smelled good, I KNOW he did, and just being able to be in the presence of his smile in real life without immediately having a mental breakdown is a flex on my mental stability (or lack thereof). AND THEN, to just CASUALLY go, "Oh and also I know someone who knows someone who knows Felix, as one does," AS IF ITS A CASUAL FUCKING TUESDAY????? FUCKING H E L L O O O O O O O??????????? AS IF YOU DIDNT JUST STUNT ON MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE??????????? No, it's fine, I'll just fucking lay awake in bed tonight seething with jealousy, it's not a problem. No problem. NO PROBLEM.

I mean, it's fine, I'll just neglect to mention that whilst showing my mother videos of skz (she has mentally adopted them at this point and texts me daily to ask, "How are our boys?") I sighed forlornly at a video of Felix just Existing™ and went, "God clearly has her favorites, cause some people got the Pretty Gene," and she just went, "Yup." THE AUDACITY 😤 This is also the same woman who, when I told her that my older sister and I are planning a trip to Australia next summer to visit one of her friends, COMPLETELY UNPROVOKED went, "Ah, gonna get yourself a knockoff Bang Chan, huh? A bootleg Felix, perhaps?" MY OWN MOTHER LIT MY ASS UP OVER THE FANTASY OF A SITUATION YOU ARE ACTUALLY LIVING, I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY BESTIE 😭😭😭😭😭

#No it's fine #I'll just be sitting here UTTERLY CONSUMED by the mental image of someone having factual irl proof that Felix is an adorable dork #Also the mental image of Felix doing anything even remotely deserving of being called a dork....#I am passing away ✌️#I am physically leaving this planet 👌#Hi I would protect Felix with my life and that's on facts #And APPARENTLY my mother would too 🙄 she's more loyal to Felix than she is to me 🙄#Can I blame her tho????........... No I cannot #He is Babey™ and also Pampered Smol©#Looking at Felix's lil befreckled mug and imagining seeing it irl.... Excuse me I will be SOBBING #Whole ass baby. He's a whole ass baby

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makemeabeliever · 4 years

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He moves slowly, deliberately, giving him time to move away. When he doesn’t, he gingerly sweeps a few of the droplets away with the pad of his thumb before pressing his mouth to Johnny’s jaw, catching the tears that seem to deteriorate and melt away at the warm embrace of his lips.

Daniel and Johnny talk it out. aka, the Daniel Apologizes fic that everybody wants, including an emotionally fucked up Johnny Lawrence. Really proud of this one! Very dialogue heavy,

#cobra kai #lawrusso #johnny lawrence #fanfic

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kpurereactions · 4 years

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Hey, sweetie! If you have time can I ask for Seventeen reaction when they would during an argument accidentally curse at their s/o for the first time and making them cry? If not it's still okay! Thank you so much for your time and hard work! I really cant stop reading your posts❤

He had been distant lately. It was obviously stress causing the distance but you couldn't help that he was taking it out on you. It wasn't fair. This was the fourth time he was supposed to meet you for dinner, and the fourth time you were left looking like an idiot at a cooling grill. You had enough. You never would ask him to choose between you and his career, but he could at least throw you a bone. If he knew he wasn't going to show up why would he tell you he would and then go home to eat with his members? If he was so tired why couldn't he sleep at your place? His manager knew about you and supported the relationship so its not like he would be going out of his way.

You were slightly drunk on your walk home. The first hand embarrassment of the owner telling you that maybe next time he’ll show was enough reason to drink just enough. It was cold out, and as you buried your face deeper into your scarf your drunkin mind told you to call him. And keep calling until he picked up.

When he finally answered on the... 3rd, you were counting on your fingers, he sounded annoyed. As if missing dinner again was your fault. “Where were you?” You asked strongly. “Are you drunk?” “Where were you.” You asked again. “Look I got hung up I’m sorry i didn't call.” H said, breathing heavily through his nostrils. “Ah, well thank god your sorry for standing me up once again. Are you serious?” You rose your voice. “Look, y/n, I’m sorry but the world doesn't revolve around you. I cant just stop what I’m doing to run to your beck and call.” He said, his voice matching yours. “And what exactly was it you were doing? Going to dinner with your members?” You said, noting the background commotion. “And so what if I am.” You stopped in your tracks. Across the street you saw him. Sitting between two of the members, beer and empty plates scattering the table. He didn't even have the audacity to excuse himself. Your silence caused him to check his screen to see if you were still there before sighing deeply and brining it back to his ear. He was about to say something else, but just as his mouth opened he saw you standing across the street.

You watched as he placed the phone on the table and brought his elbows up to pinch the bridge of his nose. You were shocked. All the empty plates meant they were there for a long time. Probably much longer than you were down the street. And he was so close. You watched as he hung the phone up and grabbed his coat, telling those around him he would be right back before hurrying towards the door, all eyes now spotting you.

You began to walk, suddenly not wanting to speak to him but you knew he would catch up. You heard him call your name over and over

If he doesn't stop he still loves me. If he gives up, he’s stopped. You thought to yourself.

A hand caught your elbow and you staggered back, your cheeks bright red from the cold and your eyes already threatening to spill.

“Where are you going, why did you walk away.” He said. His eyes seemed sorry.

“You were busy. I didn't want to bother you.” You snapped, trying to walk away again only to be caught by his arm.

“Look, Y/n, I’m sorry, I really am.” He tried, still holding onto you so you couldn't walk away.

“So sorry you ate an entire meal while I waited for you, thanks for the consideration.” You tried to walk away again already knowing his hand would stop you

“You know how the guys are.”

“No! I don’t! Do you want to know why? Because you never have me around. You keep me hidden. You make us meet in secret places. Hell, they probably don’t even know I exist! Im not asking to be the center of your world I never asked that. But leading me on. Standing me up. How dare you. Its obvious you don’t care at all about me. And your proving you never did.”

“Fuck you.” He spit. Your eyes widened, but he continued. “Fuck you if you don’t think I care. Fuck you for not understanding what it is I do. Fuck you for making such a big deal about something you should expect from dating someone like me.”

“Someone like you? I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU ARE.” You said, the tears that had been threatening since before finally rolling over your waterline. You thought for a second about saying something else, but everything you needed to say was said and he wasn't listening. So you jerked your arm out of his grasp, stumbling a bit, and turned your back.

Seungcheol:

His hands would reach for his hair. Tears in his own eyes everything he did wrong seemed to catch up with him at once. He’d turn away from you before turning back to see you had already left. He didn't want to actually loose you. “Fuck” He’d say under his breath, instantly breaking into a jog to catch you. He wouldn't say anything, Just wrap his arms around your body as his collided with yours. You were crying, and hard by the way he felt your shoulders shake. He buried his face in your hair and just held you for as long as you let him. “You better say something right now Seungcheol.” You threatened. He could feel your body tensing, ready to break out of his grip. With his hands moving to your shoulders he turned you to face him. He watched as your eyes softened and you hand reached up to wipe a way what he realized was his own tear. His heart broke when your hand stopped and retracted. He caught it softly, bringing it to his cheek, kissing the back of your hand softly before sniffling. “Im so sorry.” It was all he could think to say, but he could see in your eyes that you understood this time it was different.

Jeonghan:

He was so angry and if you wanted to act like, so be it. He watched you walk, your steps stumbling as you tried to exit as quickly as possible. He didn't want to follow you. He didn't want to deal with your nagging anymore. But something told him he should. He stood there and watched your figure grow smaller with distance before breaking into a sprint. He didn't know what he would say when he got there but he needed to get there. Hed run as fast as he could, the sounds of his name being called from behind him from his manager caused you to turn and before he knew it he was wrapping you in a hug. Hed just hold you. He didn't even care that you were holding back back from him, he just needed you to know he was sorry. Hed hold you for what seemed like forever before softly whispering “im sorry.” and finally relaxing when your arms moved around him.

Joshua:

He would just leave, blaming you for ruining his night. It wouldn't be until he returned home and he had a moment to really reflect on what had happened did he realize he was truly the one in the wrong. Hed tried texting you. He tried calling and with the lack of response he began to worry that he let you get hurt by watching you walk away drunk. He didn't care what time it was. He shuffled into his managers room while putting on his coat “I need to go to Y/n” Seeing what had happened he agreed, getting up stiffly before taking him to the car. Josh ran into your building and up to your apartment, only stopping to stand impatiently in the elevator. Hed enter your apartment without knocking and wouldn't breath until he saw you standing in his shirt, the only light being from your fridge as you poured yourself water. He wasnt going to hold back any longer, and without a word took just a few long strides to pull you into a deep, im so sorry kiss.

Jun:

You wouldn't get too far. before you could even turn your back he had you back in his grasp, realizing instantly how terrible and untrue his words were. Hed quickly take them back. Explaining to you that he knew he was being unfair. He didn't know why but you were just an easy target for him to let out all his pent up frustration on and he quickly realized how much he hated himself for doing that to you. Hed gently brush your tears away, and after his apology he would pull you into his chest tightly, holding you as the sobs took over your whole body. He wouldn't try to apologize anymore. There was no reason to. He was wrong and he needed to make up for it.

Hoshi:

He was trying so hard to convince himself that he was right. He had to be. He wasn't a bad person and he didn't purposefully ever hurt people. But the longer he stared at the pavement the quicker he realized he was wrong. He brought his hands up to rub his eyes, ready to face you again, but you were gone. A figure in the distance. You must really want nothing to do with him. He hung his head and sighed. He blew it. Returning back to the table he sat quietly while everyone else finished, happy no one asked him why he suddenly left. as the days to follow came he grew more and more distracted. He couldnt focus on anything else but you and it was effecting his work. He eventually was pulled aside and told to just go see you, so he listened.

Seeing you as you opened the door brought tears to his eyes. He was full of regret and had no words to express the way he had been treating you. So when you opened the door more and pulled him inside and into a hug hed melt into you, asking for your forgiveness.

Wonwoo:

He didn't know why, but as the words were coming out of his mouth he felt like you would stand there and take it, which would give him a chance to fix it. His face would fall as he realized your tears weren't ones of anger, but of a broken heart and he’d retreat. He had no idea how to fix it. He’d stand there as you walked away lost in thought. For the first time he really thought about what it was he wanted from you. What he wanted out of your relationship and what made him ask you to be his in the first place. He realized just how much you actually had done for him, and how much all he did was really only ever complain to you. You gave him advice. You helped him remain calm in situations where he felt like his head would explode.

He’d be so lost. He wouldn't know what to do to fix the situation, or even if he could, so he’d wait. He’d wait days, constantly checking his phone in false hope that every ding would be you. But it never was. He was too embarrassed to call you. You were right and admitting he was wrong to your face was something he struggled to figure out what to do. You would move on. You would find someone else and being with Wonwoo would just be a distant memory, but to him you would be something he thought about every day.

Woozi:

He wasn't done. The moment you started to walk away he’d force you to stop. But upon grabbing your hand to spin you around he saw something he thought he’d never see. You crying. All anger would flood out of him as he lifted a hand to brush your hair back slightly, pouting when you avoided his hand. His head would hang, and the next time the two of you made eye contact you could see something switched. “Let me walk you home.” He said, taking your hand in his. HIs mind would be full of what to say but nothing would come out. He would take you home, Making sure you had plenty of water and were in warm comfy clothes before he left. Still, without saying anything. You wouldn't hear from him in a few days. But you didn't feel angry at all, only sadness. Then one day, you'd be listening to a local radio. The mc would announce a song from an artist you didn't recognize at first, a song called im sorry, and your fingers would be calling Woozi before you really even had time to think about what it was you were doing.

Dokeyom:

His hand would come up to squeeze the bridge of his nose as you began to walk away. He wasn't done talking to you, but seeing as he just exploded he figured the best thing to do was let the both of you cool off. The next day, as soon as he knew you would be away he’d send you a text, asking to come over to talk. You don’t know why you said yes, your roommate told you there was no reason to give him a second chance but you hit send and went back to what you were doing. He’d sit on the edge of your bed once he got there, his hands folded in his lap as you stood over. He’d explain himself, and explain himself well. He’d tell you he didn't mean to snap at you, and that you were right about him neglecting you. He would explain his fears. He was scared of loosing you, so before you could walk away he pushed you towards that. Maybe it wouldn't hurt as much then. He avoided all eye contact with you while he talked, afraid that if he looked at you he would burst into tears on the spot. He was shocked, to say the least when you stepped between his legs and wrapped your arms around your head, but he didn't hold back for one second and quickly wrapped his arms around you.

Mingyu:

Hed see one tear roll as you turned away and turned away himself. He wasnt ready- nor did he want to leave you. But knowing that he had pushed you into tears was too much for him to handle. Hed walk back to the restaurant, knowing that everyone saw him scream at you and hung his head. He sat there receiving criticism, the boys telling him that you were right and he was being an asshole for the way he walked away from you. The Woozi said something that clouded his head. “Were you embarrassed of her? Is that why you walked away?” The answer was no. There was no part of you he was embarrassed of. When Hoshi suggested he went and found you he was out of his seat before Hoshi had even finished speaking.

He ran through the rout you would have taken to get back to your apartment frantically, poking his head into different bars and convenient stores just in case. Until he saw you leaving a store with a bag, your head still hung low. He wouldnt say anything, just run up and wrap his arms around you, burying his nose against your neck. “Im sorry. Im so sorry, seriously.”

Minghao:

Hed watch you walk away, his eyes moving to look at the dark sky before stomping his foot. “Y/n, wait.” hed call, taking a deep breath when you stopped. Hed wait for you to turn around, making sure that you really did want to still talk to him. When you did hed walk up and pull one of his hands from his pocket to take yours. Hed lead you to the side of the sidewalk where there was a ledge long enough for you to sit on and hed kneel in front of you. Hed watch your eyes as you tried your hardest to hold back the tears that were flowing freely.

Hed explain himself more calmly this time, chuckling when he finished because he realized just how truly idiotic his reason sounded. Hed apologize again, asking you to let him at least walk you home, telling you once he knew you were safe and warm you could make the decision to call him the next day or not. But he would be waiting for that phone call.

Seungkwan:

His hand would immediately cover his mouth. He sounded foreign, even to himself. He didn't mean any of the words that came out of his mouth so why he said them he had no idea. Hed catch you before you could get to far and beg for you to let him try again. Hed have no shame, there was no room for it when he just said the worst thing he could possibly think of saying to someone he loved. Hed force you to stop walking by wrapping his arms around you and hugging you tightly. Hed continue his apology, not even caring if you accepted anymore. He just wanted you to know how sorry he was. Hed stand there with you in his arms for as long as you let him, and even when you pulled away he kept a hand on you to make sure you couldn't run away. He’d know you wouldnt be able to forgive him right away, becasue he wouldnt be able to forgive himself, but he would spend the time after working harder than ever to make it up to you.

Vernon:

Hed stand there watching you walk away until your figure disappeared into the darkness, the image of you crying burnt into the backs of his eyelids. Hed just stand there, and keep standing there until someone came out to get him, telling him it was time to do. Hed take one last glance, maybe hoping you would be walking back but would sigh when he realized you weren't, and probably never will. Hed try his hardest to pretend like nothing was wrong, but your absence in his life was weighing heavy on his shoulders. Hed think he was doing the right thing by staying away, but the sudden incline in his attitude had the other members worried about it. They would eventually be able to convince him to just call you. Hearing your voice when you finally picked up would make him sniffle, and all he could say was he missed you.

Dino:

He did not get what it was he did wrong, Even after you stormed away hed rack his brain to try to figure out why exactly you were so mad. The moment he got back to his apartment he would sit there and complain, telling two of the members what had happened and why you were so mad. Once the initial shock of finding out about you wore off, Jeonghan would hit him up against the head and lay out exactly what it was he did wrong. Hearing it from him finally would make it sink in, and his head would fall into his hands. “Do you still want to be with her?” Hed ask, looking at Dino in a way where not answering wasnt an option. When he finally nodded his head Jeonghan and Wonwoo would help Dino try to find the perfect way to get you to forgive him.

Kitty

#seventeen #seventeen reaction #svt

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bythieves-a · 4 years

Text

SNAPSHOTS OF MODERN VIC. ( based on the story im writing about him ! many of the usual tw’s apply. )

you’re only thirteen the first time things become too much. a shadow in your school, no one there would even know you exist, if it weren’t for the smell of stolen cigarettes that follows you around. a short thing, with your mother-ruffled hair, the sleeves of an old, tattered, black coat stop just before your fingertips; and all your shirts are hand-me-downs——you think they were your dads. you wouldn’t really know. but your mother puts a ‘lucky flower’ in your coat pocket, every day, and that makes each school day bearable.

the baggy clothes make it easier to steal snacks after school, the darker make it easier to disappear. you hardly even go to class; the teachers don’t notice you, anyways. until they do——the children that do see you love to remark on what you lack; on money, on fathers, on new clothes, on lunch. one comment becomes too many and you’re in the office; don’t call my mum, you plead, you practically beg, she’s working. i can’t take her away from work. but they do. there’s no one else to call. it feels like robbing your mother of money. the embarrassment of taking her away.

when you’re home, you hit your lowest; lock yourself in your room and cry until morning. your chest is so heavy. such a mild dilemma, not the worst thing you’ll face, yet you find you can’t breathe because of it. why does everything hurt so much?

sixteen years old and your favorite spot has become a bridge; you sit with your legs swinging through the rail, watching the water flow below you, sound of cars rushing behind you--------the honking horns make you jump. you reek of cigarettes and fireball, when you come here, concealed bottle half-empty and hidden between your legs. arms and chin lean on the railing, tears flowing yet often concealed by a rainstorm you never bother to notice.

she’s so convinced he’ll come back. you hate yelling at her, but it hurts, to live sixteen years without someone, and watch your mother continue to set a place at the table for him each night. maybe tonight. its never tonight. and its your fault, you know that--------your mother would be happier without you, her drunken, drop-out, thieving son; she’d still have walter. she’d still have money. you don’t realize you’re her only joy.

the jacket you wear over a torn prince t-shirt is black denim, finally your size, the cuffs and collar lined with a fake-feeling, puffy sort of fur. its your favorite jacket, it keeps you warm--------but you find a picture of your parents together, and note your father wearing one of the same style. you never wear that jacket again.

you’re not sure why you cry on the plane to america, but you do. perhaps its homesickness. the change, the sudden wave of how different everything will be. its overwhelming. amos scoffed when he saw you, in your sweatpants and band shirts---------what? you’d asked. its just a plane ride. sat between him and your anxious mother, you hold her hand and wonder if he might do the same; its better not to try, you decide. he might just think you’re strange.

does he have weapons? he must. amos always has a knife, somehow. but how would he bring it here? maybe he’ll teach you that, someday. you’d like him to. he’d like you to stop crying.

smiling boy leaning against the counter of your pawn shop; everything feels better, now. amos has made you a partner in crime, his right hand man--------this cover-up is yours as much as it is his, and sometimes you wonder if you make him proud. you’ve grown into yourself; dark hair tickles at the tips of your ears when you let it get too long, you don white button-ups with two buttons always undone, and a long tan trenchcoat is the one thing you’re never seen without--------though, when you’re home you dress the way you always have; a steely dan tshirt has become your favorite, and it never takes you long to break out sweatpants after a days work. you lay on the floor like that and play guitar; mother likes to stand in the doorway and listen, sometimes.

there are knives on you, everywhere. they rattle against the phone in your pocket when it buzzes; you have two friends now who send you pictures of their cat, and they’re so normal, far different from the thief tommy you occupy your nights with---------but you enjoy them. they’re a taste of the life you wanted, as a child. but you think now that life might bore you, if you tried it. its not like you’re good at anything else, anyways. you and amos both know that.

your memory is coming in flashes, in blinks of light and sound tearing through the gaps of nothing, the times where you don’t know where you are, what you’re doing-------what time is it? have i eaten today? where’s mama?

the last thing you remember is the funeral. you tried to cry into amos’ arms, but he pushed you away; knocked you to the ground. get it together. m’not yer dad, kid. he left you crying on your knees before her grave--------but now, suddenly, you’re walking into your friend’s apartment. they’re each holding one of your arms; adrien looks worried, like he’s been crying. ray says something to you, but you don’t understand. you say okay, anyways.

then you’re on the couch with tea in your hand; you look at your phone and start crying. you haven’t been home in hours. mum would have texted you, by now. your chest is heavy again. you’re dizzy. adrien takes your phone and sets it away. you think he might have kissed your forehead, too.

the bottle of mum’s pain killers is empty, now. you don’t remember waking up. something burns. you’re screaming at your father in your doorway, but you don’t remember him knocking. ray looks mortified. she’s leaving today. wheres she going? italy? germany? please take care of yourself, she mutters into a tightened hug. wheres your father gone? she mentions him--------he must have been real.

you don’t remember the party, you don’t remember coming home, but you remember being warm. it felt like mama was back. you want to feel like that again.

adrien tries to take you out for christmas, but he has to bring you home. all the children were outside playing in the snow with their parents. mama liked to take christmas walks to look at all the lights. you can’t breathe again, so he holds you for the rest of the day, he pets your hair, kisses your head. its almost feels ok.

you watch the new year’s ball drop from the discomfort of a hospital bed. you still don’t remember much, but you remember screaming. you remember amos sitting nearby-----was that two days ago? he threatened you. walt was here, too. you threw a flower vase at him. the nurses won’t let you have flowers in the room, anymore. they’re watching you like hawks; better act like you’re alright, so they’ll let you out of here.

you check yourself out early. there’s no reason for you to be there. amos will get mad if you’re gone any longer. your father yells at you when you get home. why is he there? leave me alone.

the park bench is cold. you don’t remember running here, but you know amos was yelling at you. you haven’t brushed your hair in days. your tears feel like they’re freezing to your cheeks. distant police sirens. are they for you? your chest tightens------but they breeze past the park. you can’t stop shaking. your head hurts.

walts with you, suddenly, sitting on the bench beside you. he’s put your head in his lap, he’s been muttering things to you the whole time. how long has he been here? please, he says, the first thing you’re able to make out; let me get you home, i know you hate me, but let me be your dad for ten fucking minutes. you’re a mess, kid.

you’ve never spoken to him without screaming, before, but this time you let him. he helps you up, puts his coat around your shoulders. its the same one as in the photos, but older, it has holes in it. he keeps an arm around you the whole way home, lies you down on your couch, drapes mum’s couch blanket over you. he makes you a grilled cheese, complains about the spoiled groceries in your fridge. it feels nice. he should have been here to do this twenty three years ago.

for the first time since you’ve known him, you think amos is going to kill you. he’d never do that, you’ve always been so sure; but this time there’s rage in his eyes, they look hollow and dead---------you’ve seen this look before, its always followed by the snapping of bones. you can’t get that sound out of your head. you saved tommy from this look, once, but he’s not here to do the same. it hurts. you’re supposed to be partners, you trusted him with your life, but he’s going to kill you. oh, god, he’s going to kill me.

but he doesn’t get the chance. bent over from a kick to the ribs, the second you’re out of line with his head you hear a shot--------suddenly you’re covered in blood, but its not your own, and amos has a hole in his head. when he drops, you’re faced with your father stood nearby; shaking, out of breath, mortified-------holding a gun. jesus christ, he whispers.

dad? you sound helpless. you’ve never called him that, before.

#𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄 𝐈𝐈𝐈. ╱ modern.#i'm jus thinking abt him today.......#tw: drug mention #tw: drugs #tw: addiction #tw: violence #tw: parental death #tw: death #tw: implied suicide #jesus god KLJDFHLGKFJS be careful u know how vics story goes #its ok hes ok and gets a happy ending

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imjustyouraveragenoone · 5 years

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why u sucked

since my mind keeps replaying all the reasons u were perfect, here are the reasons u were fucking far from it.

1. ur ex drama. u dumped me for ur ex, then u realized that she was not right for u so u hit me up again. u got jealous that ur best friend was hitting me up and made sure to put an end to that really fast by making moves on me while u were still w ur ex. then u talked to me for a good period to follow thru on ur own ego problems and then proceeded to hook up w ur ex. who the actual fuck does this. stick to ONE u absolute manwhore. if u were so in love with ur ex why would u flirt with me while u guys were together, if u were so in love with me why would u hook up with her while we were talking. u literally just dont care about anyone but ur motherfucking self and it took me way too long to realize it, it took me my literal parents having to split us up for me to see the damage u did.

2. u never made any effort to come see me. everything was on ur schedule, if u didnt want to hang out with me, u would go off. if u were horny, u would stay on. no explanations needed. if u felt like opening up, u would. otherwise, just pictures of ur eyebrow. i was constantly the one running around in circles trying to make this work. i decided to come see u in the morning, i would be the one who would come stand by ur friends at the end of the day, u never would fucking ask me to. unless, of course, it was whether u could come over to fuck. then, you would ask without any hesitation and beg and plead and do everything in ur power to make it work. don’t think i ever saw that effort in any other aspect of our relationship, hmmmmmm. no sentimental gifts or cute texts. u literally did the bare minimum and for some fucking reason i idealized u for it. mostly because i thought that most girls wouldnt even be lucky enough to get the bare minimum from u, and im prolly right. like u fucked me up SO BAD that one day u were telling me abt some girl u ghosted and my fUCKED UP MIND ACTUALLY WENT “WOW I MUST BE SPECIAL SINCE HE NEVER GHOSTED ME. MUST MEAN THAT HE ACTUALLY LOVES ME.” TF??????????????????????? mental issues.

3. u literally sent me essays about not trusting me and all this shit that made me think that u were breaking up with me the DAY of my sat and then claimed u forgot i had to take it that day. i woke up in such a panic thinking that u were trying to dump me the day of the most important test of my literal life. why the fuck would anyone do that. why. i knew every date of ur physics tests, i knew what was going on in ur life, even finding out things from ur sister because i wanted to know. u just didnt even care at all. like ik u prolly actually did forget but if i was even important to u u would not of ever forgot in the first place.

4. the constant dumping. dude, if ur just gonna constantly pull that shit for u to fulfill some insecurity in ur head and make u feel like u have the power in the relationship, u need help. im sorry that all ur exes were downright obsessed with u and u never had to wonder if u were the one who cared less in the relationship, but just because i didnt do that doesnt mean that u can just keep tryna dump me to affirm ur power struggles.

5. blaming ur own shortcomings on ur broken past. i dont doubt it, but letting ur past define u is not taking u anywhere and ur just gonna end up stuck in ur own cycle of not dealing with ur problems.

6. the literal lack of any kind of ambition, drive and hard work ethic. u work hard to appear cool, to get girls, to get drugs, to do all this unnecessary shit, why u cant put that effort into simple homework assignments so ur not FAILING a class, i will never know.

7. u had every right to get mad at me for being friends with ishan or whatever but i dont fucking think i have ever called u out for being best friends with every single ex u have ever had in fact i trust u so much i dont care that u spend literally 90% of ur time with at least one girl that u have had history with whether its roopa, khushi, and many more that i havent heard abt yet.

8. u hooked up w roopa. bruh. thats just disgusting and u know it.

9. u always came for ME about hearing things from other ppl abt what i was up to. UM. UM??????? do u KNOW the shit i heard about u but didnt even confront u because i trusted u THAT much. lmaoooooo looking back u were a fucking clown for even bringing up that argument. sure, i was far from perfect and i made some questionable choices, but bruh so did YOU.

10. u rlly tried to hit it without a condom. are u fucking retarded. imagine if i got pregnant. forget my parents literally kicking me out. imagine the atrocity of my kids having YOU as a father. nightmare shit..

11. u were so fucking emotionally distant that i literally took every small BARE MINIMUM nice thing u did and fucking RAN with it. looking back its so clear that u rlly didnt do anything special, u didnt say anything special, u did not do anything to prove u loved me. all u were good at was empty words to string me on because we both know that saying shit takes no effort and ur all about that no effort lifestyle. like now that im thinking about it..... what have u done for me? what have u done? said i love you, texted me a shit ton when u were horny, said a bunch of future shit and made me laugh. wow u fulfilled the basic requirements of a relationship, and since u have a nice little reputation for being an asshole, i took that as a WOW HE MUST RLLY LOVE ME. thats actually so sad that i lowered my standards THAT much just so that i could be with u.

12. u made me cry and feel so low for so much of the relationship and i rlly dont understand why i thought we were so perfect. the lows we had were downright unacceptable and u never were able to truly put ur pride aside to tell me how u felt about me besides when we were fighting or u felt like u were losing me and thats how i know that the love we had mightve been genuine or whatever, but its not the love i deserve.

7 months wasted, lowkey grateful my parents pulled me outta that shit bc i never would have had the mental strength to do it and we prolly woudlve ended up breaking up in like a few months bc u hooked up w some unc charlotte hoe or something. yikes. what u have been up to post-relationship is neither my business nor something i have a right to be upset about so im not gonna go off on u for that because i rlly dont have the mental space to care abt what ur up to now.

my next lover better be someone who isnt fucking scared to show that they care about me, someone that respects me, someone that isnt selfish and obsessed with using girls to fill their own shortcomings. love shouldnt be a constant power struggle and i should never have to wonder whats going on in ur life. ur supposed to KNOW what ur boyfriend is up to. its part of a relationship. so fuck u for making me drop my standards to such comical levels.

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dunkalfredo · 6 years

Text

Mirage Springs (Home Sweet Home)

The protagonist: a young Gadget the Wolf.

The setting: a time when things were... simpler.

(Infidget, except it's that shared Old Friends AU I have with @theashemarie)

AO3 | FFN

yo yo yo what up im back at it again. I think I've only posted during- and post-war so far???? Yeah I think so. this should be somethin new for yall

warnings warn brief animal violence and also implied/referenced character death

anyways heres wonderwall be sure to like comment and subscribe to my youtube c

Gadget doesn’t dream about his father per say, but a few months out from the accident and the funeral and the beginning of it all his dreams get… unpleasant.

Always traumatic. Disaster, tragedy, bodily harm, his mother, trapped, his own self, broken and immobile. He wakes up with a prancing heart and pains in his neck, like his head was moving but there was resistance, a pillow in the way. Advil never really helps. He pretends it does.

One night, he spends all of two hours asleep, the second dreaming of a feral dog tearing a cat into two with its teeth. He hears the procession of the cat’s screeches so vividly, struggles with the molasses around his bones as he looks around at the others in the room, wondering if he should look outside, out the window at the sources of the screeches and the dying. Eventually, he does, and finds Finn, his best friend, one he hasn’t seen in person for years and only in grainy jpegs on his monitor, wrestling the wrangled parts of the cat from the bared fangs of the dog, horror pulling at his features in strange, uncomfortable shapes.

Gadget wakes up ten minutes before his alarm. He doesn’t shut it off.

It rings a few times, the peaceful, lighthearted marimbas that normally fill Gadget with destructive intent only reminding him of the hours ahead of him, hours undoubtedly to be filled with migraines and a putrid sickness in his stomach.

He stumbles down the stairs with Frankenstein feet, legs that don’t really fit him and feel short and stubby and long and gangly at the same time, legs that stick out from his body at odd angles, bones that grew too fast and in the wrong places. He sees his mom, Helen, in the kitchen, still and focused on the kitchen counter (empty) and he decides to tell her.

“We need to move.”

It’s the rain outside that sets him off. He sees it in the window behind his mother, feels it in his bones like little hammers against his marrow, chipping away bits and pieces with every impact until there’s nothing left to support his innards and his flesh. Rain, obscuring, blinding, slippery. Too wet and too slick for city tires. Too obtrusive to the eyes of a crowded interstate. Too enticing for accidents, for metal cars with disgustingly fragile bodies inside of them.

Gadget wants to get as far from the rain as possible.

Helen maintains that obsessive, hollow gaze at the counter tile, and only nods, mechanical and noncomprehensive. Gadget hums, accepting it for now and deciding that, maybe later, he’ll ask again, when she’s had food and a good night’s rest. He knows she didn’t sleep last night. Her pacing kept him up. He wanted to join her.

He didn’t, continuing to stare at his wall and eventually dreaming of rabid dogs and festering cat corpses.

Ultimately, it’s a matter of waiting for the house market to open and for Gadget to finish eighth grade, though perhaps not quite in that order. The where isn’t an issue, because there’s only one place that holds the familiarity they desperately need while also giving them needed, necessary space, and the “how” of the matter is settled with his father’s now liquidated assets.

So, July.

There’s the sad, forlorn, empty husk of Gadget that feels close to nothing about this, but then there’s this small, hopeful spark, created and fueled by a face he hasn’t seen properly since a distant, warm but entirely too fuzzy childhood, connected now only to a username tattooed to the back of his brain. Moving has one big, tangible perk, one that’s not centered on recovery, on death, on rain, and he didn’t realize it was there until he was halfway through listening to his mother speak with the realter on the phone.

A familiar face. A friend.

The revelation only reminds him of the loneliness, but. But. That spark shines a little brighter.

In May, they finalize the lease for the new homeowners and work on packing (there’s not much, and Helen has a distressing vastness to her knowledge on quick moving shortcuts; Gadget knows why and has never asked for details. Helen never gave them. It’s better that way).

Gadget’s quick to hop on his laptop as soon as he gets off packing duty, perched on the fat windowsill he used to furnish with pillows and blankets to make a makeshift couch (there’s a word for this sort of window-couch, he knows, but he can’t quite reach back in the recesses of his brain to find it, nor can he find the will or energy to care).

AIM is open and chippering happily when he opens the lid. As soon as the window pops up, he sees Finn’s gargantuan mix of x’s and numerals waiting eagerly for his return.

Gadget’s fingers fly over the keyboard. Mmmmmmmhenlo!!!! finally got the lease signed. were packing right now

He receives immediate whiplash as Finn spams a long, dark block of capital A’s.

Gadget types back, quick and a bit snippy: please don’t break ur a key ull give ur mom a scare

Finn, after hesitation and a guilt that seeps straight into the texts and out of Gadget’s monitor, responds with a single, solemn, h.

thank u, Gadget types.

They launch into quick, idle chatter after that, slowly morphing into something more thoughtful as the hours wear on until Finn sends, after a brief pause: u think ull recognize me?

Gadget’s chest collapses slightly, not quite a sigh but a hefty release of breath regardless. I mean. ive seen pictures but. I dunno

When a quiet, hesitant ‘we’ll see’ flashes across the screen, Gadget flinches, only to force his eyes closed and away from the affronting text. He breathes, in, out, shallow but to a slow count of ten.

It’s just Finn, unsure and insecure and afraid. He’s always worried, Gadget tells himself. He’s paranoid.

But there’s a brief image in his mind of himself looking out at the swarm of bodies in the airport, lugging a suitcase of clothes behind him and a ticket, punched, in his hand, with no one there to greet him.

He doesn’t know if he could handle that.

He doesn’t want to find out.

July. Humid in the north, but bone-dry in the south. That should’ve made it better. It didn’t.

Gadget forgot just how heavy the sun felt in Mirage Springs, and in that brief stretch between plane cabin and port entrance, he’s reminded with vivid, visceral clarity just how much he loathes the heat, even if it doesn’t stick to his neck like it did back home. At least, at home, he didn’t worry about blistered feet and heat stroke.

He tries not to take it as a bad omen, as a sign that this was a bad idea, but it sits in the pit of his stomach and grows fetid.

It doesn’t help that he aches, that his knees creak after stuck in artificial, harsh angles for so long, that his ears pop every now and then without warning because the plane was high but the mountains and trees up north were even higher.

He’s hurt, and tired, and nervous, and overall in a sour, worn mood (not helped by the long minutes spent in one security check after another), and there’s little pomp and circumstance when he’s finally out in the open with his meagre luggage behind him and plane ticket crinkled between his fingers.

Then, he sees Finn.

Or, rather, his mother Helen sees Finn, and he only sees Finn after she puts a knowing hand on Gadget’s shoulder and says, “I’ll go back for the rest of the luggage.”

And she leaves, and it’s just him, and Finn (and an entire airport, but that’s unimportant).

Gadget doesn’t know why he ever worried; Finn sticks out like a sore thumb. Not in stature, the shrinking violet he was, but definitely in the black everything and the thick, sturdy, too-hot boots and the long, long, chaos it was so long hair and really, even without all of that, his scar made him look like some rogue mercenary lost in a swarm of unfittingly normal people, loose from the trail of his target and aimless in his search for a way back on.

There’s no warning before Gadget is, in every sense of the word, swept off his feet.

“You’re back!” Finn booms with every ounce of air in his lungs, voice cracking like an egg on a floor but pitch reaching an unnerving deepness for a teen his age. Gadget’s overwhelmed, with all the earth-shaking timber of Finn’s voice roaring right next to his ear and the room spinning around him and the lack of ground under his feet and, wait, no ground, wait…

Gadget’s placed firmly on his feet mere seconds after the hug-and-spin that was needlessly thrust upon him (though he’d later reflect that, perhaps in other circumstances, maybe he would actually enjoy it, just a little), and his first words are not heartfelt, or gentle, but just as booming as Finn and with alarming distress: “You’re tall!”

This is just about shouted into Finn’s chest (Gadget is still being hugged (and is hugging back, undeniably)) and Finn only knows he said anything over the rumble of the surrounding airport because of the vibrations Gadget’s creaking tenor voice leaves in his chest (proximity, not power).

Finn pulls back, troubled by the tone and not sure what to make of it, simply responding with a dazed, panicked, “Yeah?” that cracks at the end.

His panic is furthered, if only for a moment, by Gadget’s subsequent movements of hand comparison, that funny maneuver where the hand, palm down, is dragged from the top of one’s head straight across to the other person, and Gadget lets out a distraught squeak when his hand bumps against the center of Finn’s sternum.

“What?!” This is Gadget speaking, or rather borderline hollering, as he stares exasperated at Finn. Then, just like that, he deflates. His head hangs. It’s a pity party for one.

Finn stands there, completely dumbfounded, watching his friend stew in his own misery, then walking forward to pat his back with the finesse expected from a young, awkward teenage boy. “There, there,” Finn soothes.

He receives a small, saddened whimper in response.

Later, when Gadget’s home and nestled in a neat corner of his bare room, it dawns on him that Finn’s boots had heels. His ears pop again.

B L E A S E reblog i beg of u my crops are dying

#sonic the hedgehog #sth #sonic forces #infidget #infinite the jackal #gadget the wolf #long post #cw: animal death #its rly brief but im sensitive and ive gotten bothered by this stuff before #so like gotta be careful #the rest of it is kinda punchy and sweet so it should b k #mmmmmmmm hopin i get some reblogs on my fic this time #b l e a s e #OH ALSO #art tag

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emilyl-b · 4 years

Text

10 Great fire inside music Public Speakers

Correction Appended

On an album of bittersweet childrens tracks that she wrote a lot more than ten years ago, the woman who came to get regarded only because the piano teacher offered what, in hindsight, looks like an eerie glimpse of her possess potential.

Im transferring absent these days to a spot so distant, exactly where no person knows my name, she wrote in the lyrics of a tune identified as Relocating.

When she wrote that music, she was young and vivacious, a piano Instructor and freelance audio author who loved Beethoven and jazz, sunsets and river sounds, lengthy walks and every thing about Big apple.

On a kind of beloved walks, by way of Central Park in the intense Sunlight of the June working day in 1996, a homeless drifter beat her and attempted to rape her, leaving her clinging to daily life. Once the assault, the text to her track came accurate. She moved absent, out of New York City, from her outdated everyday living, and all but her closest good friends didn't know her identify. To the remainder of the globe, she was — much like the additional well known jogger attacked in Central Park 7 a long time previously — an nameless symbol of the city nightmare. She was the piano Trainer.

Now, around the 10th anniversary on the attack, she's celebrating what is apparently her comprehensive Restoration from Mind trauma. She is 42, married, with a small boy or girl. She's Kyle Kevorkian McCann, the piano Instructor, and she or he really wants to convey to her story, her way.

Her health care provider instructed her it will just take 10 years to Recuperate, and Sunday was that talismanic anniversary. I sense my life has become redefined by Central Park, she mentioned a number of days in the past, her voice delicate and hopeful. Before park; just after park. Will there ever be described as a time Once i dont Believe, Oh, Here is the tenth anniversary, the 11th anniversary?

She spoke in her modest ranch house inside of a wooded subdivision in a The big apple suburb. She sat inside of a eating place strewn with toys, surrounded by pictures of her cherubic, dim-haired 2-12 months-aged daughter. A Steinway grand filled 50 % the place, and at one particular place she sat down and performed. Her actively playing was forceful, but she seemed ashamed to Enjoy various bars, and shrugged, rather then answering, when questioned the identify of your piece. She requested that her daughter and her town not be named.

She calls that working day, June 4, 1996, the day Once i was harm.

Hers was the 1st in a string of assaults by the exact same guy on 4 Women of all ages above 8 times. The last victim, Evelyn Alvarez, 65, was crushed to death as she opened her Park Avenue dry-cleansing shop, and in the end, the assailant, John J. Royster, was convicted of murder and sentenced to daily life in jail.

However the assault on the piano Trainer will be the just one individuals seem to recall by far the most. Section of the fascination should do with echoes on the 1989 attack over the Central Park jogger. But Furthermore, it frightened people today in a way the attack around the jogger did not simply because its circumstances were so mundane.

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It did not occur in a very distant A part of the park late during the night, but close to a favorite playground at three from the afternoon. It could have transpired to any one. The strain was heightened with the thriller on the piano academics identification.

For three days, as law enforcement and Medical doctors tried using to see who she was, she lay in the coma in her healthcare facility bed, nameless. Her mothers and fathers had been on vacation and her boyfriend, also a musician, was in Europe, on tour. Eventually, amongst her pupils identified a police sketch and was capable of establish her while in the clinic by her fingers, mainly because her face was swollen further than recognition. The police did not launch her identify.

The very last thing she remembers about June four, 1996, is offering a lesson in her studio apartment on West 57th Avenue, then Placing her very long hair in the ponytail and going out for just a walk. She won't keep in mind the attack, While she has heard the accounts in the police and prosecutors.

To me its like a fact I discovered and memorized, she said. Like I were a student in school finding out heritage.

She isn't going to take into consideration The person who did it. I may have been offended for a minute, but not for much longer than that, she reported. How could I be indignant at John Royster? He was declared not crazy, but I guess by our standards he was.

Dr. Jamshid Ghajar, her physician at New York Clinic-Cornell Medical Middle, as it had been recognised in 1996, explained to reporters that she experienced a ten percent probability of survival. Health professionals had to remove her forehead bone, which was later on replaced, to generate space for her swelling brain. When her mom built a public attract pray for my daughter, hundreds did.

Following eight times, she arrived from a coma, initially in a vegetative point out, then in a childlike point out. As she recovered, she slept tiny and talked frequently, sometimes in gibberish. I had been obtaining mad at persons if they didnt reply to these words and phrases, she explained.

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Like an Alzheimers individual, she had small shorter-term memory and would fail to remember people when they remaining the room.

More than various months, she needed to relearn how you can walk, dress, study and write. Her boyfriend, Tony Scherr, visited each day to Participate in guitar for her. He inspired her to Enjoy the piano, in opposition to the recommendation of her Actual physical therapists, who believed she could well be frustrated by her lack of ability to Perform the way she after experienced. Mr. Scherr played Beatles duets along with her, playing the still left-hand aspect though she played the best.

That was my most effective therapy, she explained.

In August, she moved again home to New Jersey, along with her father, an engineer, and mom, a schoolteacher. She visited previous haunts and named good friends, making an attempt to revive her shattered memory. I had been quite obsessive about remembering, she stated. Any memory loss was to me a sign of abnormality or deficit.

Her therapists considered her development was great, but her two sisters protested that she wasn't the deep thinker she had been.

What bothered her most was that she had shed a chance to cry, as if a faucet inside her Mind had been turned off. 1 night, nine months soon after she was harm, she stayed up late to view the John Grisham movie A Time and energy to Destroy. Just right after her father had gone to mattress, she watched a courtroom scene of Samuel Jacksons character on trial for killing two men who experienced raped his young daughter.

The faucet opened, as well as the tears trickled down her cheeks. I considered my mother and father, my father, and the things they went by means of, she reported. Minor by little, my sensation returned, my depth of brain returned.

Urged by her sisters, she went back to school and acquired a masters diploma in tunes training.

Not every little thing went nicely. She and Mr. Scherr split up five years once the assault, though they continue to be friends. She dated other Guys, but she constantly informed them concerning the assault immediately — she couldn't assist it, she claimed — plus they by no means termed for your next date.

Now we have to seek out you an individual, her Good friend David Phelps, a guitar player, stated 4 years in the past, prior to introducing her to Liam McCann, a pc technician and beginner drummer. For after, she did not say anything at all with regards to the attack until eventually she acquired to grasp Mr. McCann, after which when she did, he admired her strength.

Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani, who experienced typically visited her at her bedside whilst she was from the medical center, married them in his Occasions Square Place of work. She wore a blue costume and pearls. Even though she was pregnant, within a burst of creativeness, she and her friends recorded Even though Had been Youthful, an album of childrens tracks that she experienced written before the assault, including the tune Moving. Her ex-boyfriend, Mr. Scherr, made the CD. On it, her partner performs drums and she plays electric powered piano.

Is her everyday living as it absolutely was? Not accurately, nevertheless she is reluctant to attribute the distinctions to her injuries. Her very last two piano learners remaining her, without calling to clarify why, she claimed. She has resumed playing classical tunes, but uncomplicated items, mainly because her daughter will not give her the perfect time to apply. As for jazz, I dont even consider, she explained.

She would want to drive far more, feeling stranded inside the suburbs, but she is definitely rattled. She tries to be articles with keeping house and caring for her daughter.

Dr. Ghajar, a medical professor of neurological surgical treatment at what is now known as New York-Presbyterian Clinic/Weill Cornell Healthcare Heart, who operated on Ms. Kevorkian McCann after the attack, claimed last 7 days that her degree of recovery was uncommon. Shes essentially standard, he mentioned.

Other professionals, who will be not personally acquainted with Ms. Kevorkian McCanns situation, are more cautious.

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Regaining a chance to Participate in the piano could include an Practically mechanical method, a semiautomatic remember of what the fingers have to do, explained Dr. Yehuda Ben-Yishay, a professor of medical rehabilitation medication at Ny University School of Medicine. Once Mind-wounded, you will be always brain-wounded, for the rest of your life, Dr. Ben-Yishay explained. There is no remedy, There's only intensive compensation.

The greater telling Element of a recovery, in his check out, is psychological, and on that score he counts Ms. Kevorkian McCanns marriage and baby as a major victory.

For her element, the piano Instructor is aware she has changed, but she has designed her peace with it. I had been form of a hyper —— I dont know if I was a Type A, but I was bold, she states. Why was I so bold? I used to be a piano Trainer. I dont know very well what the ambition was about. I really did come back to the person Im supposed to be.

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abbysimagines · 7 years

Text

i came to explain - peter parker

request: can I have imagine where the reader and peter are dating but peter becomes distant and starts talking to liz the reader becomes upsets, so she decided to ignore peter till ned tells peter that he hasn't talked to her in like 2 weeks and they make up at the end.

word count: 1213

warnings: none ig

note: I still love Tom Holland and its bad im v sorry

Walking into school and immediately seeing your boyfriend with the one and only, Liz Allan, was not something you enjoyed. It had become a common occurrence over the past few days and it absolutely infuriated you. Every time you would attempt to find him and talk to him, he was with her. He had been ignoring every single text you had sent him.

With a roll of you eyes, you walked towards the group of people that had been actually acknowledging your existence. Michelle had her face in a book as she half listened to what Ned was saying. Ned noticed your presence and shot you a big smile. You returned the smile, now standing in front of the duo, who were both leaning on the lockers behind them. “Hey guys,” You greeted while adjusting your backpack strap on your shoulder.

Michelle looked up from her book at the sound of a voice that wasn’t Neds. “Where’s your other half,” She asked, shutting her book and putting back into her bag. Your focus moved over to Peter and Liz and Michelle followed your eyes. She landed on Liz, who had a bright smile on her face, and Peter, who had a bright smile of his own. A frown etched on both of your lips, but both for different reasons.

Ned noticed what you were looking at and made a mental note to talk to Peter about it later, but he soon forgot. Your eyes never left the pair until the bell rang for everyone to go to class. It was a class you had with Peter and you were hoping he’d sit with you, but he didn’t. Instead, he sat with one boy you didn’t know. He didn’t even glance in your direction.

That continued going for the next week and a half. Peter never spoke a word to you, and it was starting to take a toll on you. You were constantly dwelling on the fact that you were being practically deemed unimportant by the one you loved the most. You were constantly tossing and turning at night, which resulted in you not getting enough sleep. That led to the dark circles under your eyes and your lack of focus in all of your classes.

You were sitting next to Ned at lunch with your head in the palm of your hands. He was talking to you about some quiz he had bombed and you were doing your best to give your input. It was when you finally moved your head up and saw Liz gently touching Peter’s arm. That was when you had enough. Tears made their way down your cheeks and onto the table. “I can’t do this anymore,” You mumbled barely loud enough for Ned to hear. You got out of the seat and practically ran out of the cafeteria with tears streaming down your face.

Everyone in the room followed you with looks of curiosity or sympathy. Peter’s eyes followed your retreating figure and it took everything in him to not get up and follow you. His eyes moved away from the now empty doorway and to Ned, who was still sitting at the table with his mouth hanging open. He got out of his seat and walked over to Ned, ignoring Liz as she called out for him.

“Ned, what’s wrong with Y/N,” He asked with concern laced in his voice. Ned gave Peter a small glare once he noticed his presence.

“What’s wrong? What’s wrong is you haven’t talked to her in two weeks, Peter. You haven’t even looked at her,” Ned spoke with a tone that Peter has never heard him use before. It was, honestly, quite scary since Ned as such a nice person.

Peter’s expression turned to one of confusion at his best friends words. “She broke up with me?” Those five words are what led to the truth coming out, and the downfall of Peter’s relationship ith Liz.

Michelle had told Peter that you had gone home during lunch, so Peter booked it to your house as soon as school let out. He stopped running once he reached your apartment complex and began to climb up the fire escape. He stopped once he had counted six floors and looked through your window. You were sitting on your bed with your legs crossed as Supernatural played on your TV. Your cheeks were red and puffy from the hours of crying, and your lack of sleep was definitely showing in your appearance.

It shattered Peter’s heart that he was the cause of your current state. After a few deep breaths, he finally knocked on your window. Your head whipped over to him and your eyes slightly widened. You paused the show and slowly got off your bed. You pulled your window up and stepped back to let Peter inside.

“What do you want,” You whispered, looking anywhere but his eyes. He stepped forward to take your hand, but you stepped back. His arm dropped back to his side. You caught his reflection in the mirror and he looked almost as heartbroken as you. “Peter, what do you want?”

He was slightly taken back at the sudden change in your tone, much like he was with Ned. “I-I came to explain everything.” Your eyes finally met his and you could tell that he was telling the truth. Not that that was ever hard; he was a terrible liar. You slightly nodded and let Peter take your hand as he guided you back to your bed.

He told you about how Liz approached Peter one day and told him that you were cheating on him with some junior. Peter never would have thought that she would lie like that, so he believed her. He also told you that she had taken his phone and blocked your number and that’s why he never received any of your messages. You didn’t say anything while he explained it all, but you were no longer upset with him. Instead, you were infuriated with Liz and you wanted nothing more than to pummel her gorgeous face.

Once he was done, he looked at you with hopeful eyes. He had taken both of your hands in his sometime throughout the story and you never bothered to remove them, until now. His hopefulness faltered slightly at the action. “Peter, I wish you would have just asked me about it before automatically believing her. I would absolutely never cheat on you and it hurts me that you think I would.”

“It wasn’t that hard to believe because you deserve someone better. I’m not good enough for you and I know that, so that’s why I believed her,” He finally revealed, his voice cracking ever so often.

The sight of the boy you loved confessing the fact that he doesn’t think he’s good enough was something you never wanted to see. “Peter, don’t you dare say that you aren’t good enough because you are. You are so much more than good enough for me. How can I deserve better when you’re the best. I love you so much, Peter Parker, and nothing can change that.” You didn’t give him time to respond since your lips were now on his in everything but a chaste kiss.

#peter parker #peter parker imagine #spider-man #spider-man imagine #spider-man: homecoming #cacw spider-man

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book-n-bean · 5 years

Text

What would it be like without tv?

Every night, we put the tv on and watch it until it’s late or we’re too tired to stay up any longer.

Since when did everyone just switch on their tvs at night after dinner and just watch?

What’s it like without the tv? Without the noise? When you have to entertain yourself? Would you spend more time with the people you love, would you read more? Would kids do more homework just to have something to do?

I’m not saying I’m not grateful for technology, I just think it’s so sad to be in this position every night, it’s so empty and boring and sad.

It’s just going to get worse as I get older too. Everyone connected to technology more and more. How long will it take for our world to be made out of technology? We’re already working on trees that glow in the dark to provide light and save electricity?

I don’t know.

Lately I’ve just been feeling like life is so empty and sad and pointless, and maybe that’s me being a little depressed and hopeless; but it’s true. What should we be excited about in life? Our futures? Because our futures are the same as everyone else’s, there’s really not much we’ll do that other people havent. And of course, that doesnt mean we wont enjoy it, i dont know what it means.

Maybe there’s something wrong with me - I FEEL wrong. Like im so much more up in my head than i should be, but i cant figure out how to come back to earth. I cant even remember if this is normal, to spend so much time thinking; even when im talking to people, doing things, i’m in my head. It’s worse when im listening to music, or doing something that doesnt require concentration. Reading is a distraction, and watching things can be a distraction too; but then i feel strange when I stop doing those things. I feel blank and empty like there’s nothing waiting for me beyond the book or the screen. Like the world is so quiet, unturning, people are frozen out in the street where they were walking, smoke comes from the exhaust of cars...but they dont move. And then time just skips, and suddenly it’s a couple of hours later and ive lived and so have the people in the street, the frozen cars are different to the ones before and the light outside the window is different. I know i lived every moment that i seem to have skipped, and i can remember each and every one of those seconds, but it feels like nothing happened in them at all...

I think i need help, but it would be so hard to talk about this. No one would understand, they couldnt help...it’s like that feeling i used to get, where it felt like my cells were freezing, through my chest into my left arm, into my palm. It felt like my blood was freezing, and it hurt. It would throb through me, some kind of icy breeze, and then it would linger...then disappear. My counsellor didnt understand that, i cant remember what she said; but im sure i would have remembered if it had been useful or interesting/important.

What do i do? I feel like ive got so many problems, but maybe im not looking at the big picture. Maybe i’m looking at every individual problem as it hits me and they just keep banking up as i fail to immediately solve them. That’s another question though, how far do they bank up? Have i actually been solving any of my problems, or have i just been side-stepping them and saying “good enough”?

I know i need help...maybe, and maybe i want help...but how do i get it? Therapy has never helped me before, ive always been better off working things out on my own, talking to my mum about things to get them off my chest and then doing the rest on my own. Who do i get help from? What would it cost? I could go to a school therapist, but i’d have to skip class for that, it would get weird. I dont want to skip class - that would stress me out. And last time, the school counsellor didnt help, but then again, i cant remember having big problems the last time i went...i think i’d been dating james for 2 months when i went to her; that’s such a long time ago, around about now.

Maybe this is normal...it’s just being a teenager, right? I dont want to worry my mum either, im okay, im dealing with it; even if that means struggling...as long as im just dealing with it. Im trying to focus on music, i know i should be trying to focus on school but im not interested right now. School feels empty too, i go to a building, entertain myself on the bus twice a day, talk to people i call friends, sit through six classes and take notes, pretend to/actually listen, crush on people who dont notice me, and then i go home and do it all again the next day. For what? An education, to be social; whatever. See what i mean? Everything feels pointless.

Even my possibilities seem close-ended; my endless possibilities. Breaking up with James was meant to make me feel open, see all the options out there. It doesnt feel like that. Sometimes i get a flash of that feeling, realising that there are so many people to love in the world and I could probably have a lot of them...but that door is as closed as ever because of my crush on the boy who’s taken; my heart is already dedicated to him...and he’s going to have to break it. I dont want him to, but if im going to move on, he’ll have to break my heart first. Maybe it’ll be indirect, maybe i’ll do it for him, telling myself he’ll never notice me, that im not like her and she’s better than me, the simple fact that it probably means nothing when he looks at me, oh and the lack of him noticing me. Yea sure, we text a lot occasionally, when i start the conversation, we tease each other and joke, but at the end of the day, what does it really mean? Anything? I dont know.

That’s the answer to all of my questions: I don’t know.

I’m not going to get help, not yet. At least I know I’m not depressed, something’s wrong but it’s not that. Luckily, I’m not suicidal, and I don’t want to self-harm; I tried that. In the shower, with the shaving razor, two little red lines, running blood, the sting, it didnt feel good, it didnt help; and I regretted it, I wanted it to go away. I won’t be trying that again, at least not for a while.

I just don’t understand, when did this all happen? And why? What started it - and how do I stop it? Melbourne Music Tour was perfect, I felt alive again, life felt electric and full, lovely and full of opportunities, friendship, warmth; experience. It was 7 days. I had seven days of life. It has been almost 7 days since. I have had seven days of emptiness. I could say it’s a cycle, but it’s not. It was a long, flat line of nothing, and then a 7 day blip, a promising little heartbeat...the world has gone flat again.

I’m kind of getting sad writing this, negativity and all. And it’s not helping, I feel the same, fuzzy head, tired, bored, it’s late (11:07pm, so not really that late for me, but im still tired). Im surprised about how much ive written though, how all of this is just flowing and ive just been letting it all out; ive barely stopped.

Maybe i am a little depressed, sadness comes easily. I do feel sad, deep down, it hurts. And when i do feel sad I know it’s deep, it’s the kind of sadness that opens a ravine in your chest and makes you want to hug something close to you, tight, to close the gap, make it feel better; to have something to hold onto while you’re being ripped apart from the inside out; and when you have no one that’s a little hard to do.

I want to tell myself that I’ll be okay, the thought lingered in my head, but I don’t feel like I will be right now. Im not interested...in life? I dont want to die, i just dont feel interested in doing anything im doing, not really. Even my hobbies are all dropping away. What are my hobbies? I spent one day writing in the holidays and i havent since. I read a bit...but its not very fun. I havent painted anything for months, watching Glee is a good distraction, but its more a way to pass the time than a way to entertain myself. Music is my only real hobby, i enjoy it, i love playing guitar, feeling the song, learning piano, looking at sheet music, recording my voice memos on my phone; if anything can get me through, it’s music. Maybe that’s the way out. I’m planning on buying a proper microphone, to record myself and sing into and...ive been thinking about starting a youtube channel, to have somewhere to put all of the voice memos i record. Maybe people will like it, maybe i’ll like it. It feels like the only step, in any direction, that im planning on taking in my life right now; everything else seems blurred and slow motion, walled-off. Music seems like a road to follow...

I dont know how to end this, i dont know what to say at all. I feel like there’s a lot more to say, but i know ive already said a lot, and i also know that theres nothing else materialising in my head right now; just the distant feel of thoughts. Im scared as well, we just watched a movie, there were dead people in it, it was gory, scary; i didnt like it. So now im paranoid and scared. I’ll go sit in my room, against my headboard, with the wall next to me; it feels safe there.

Maybe i really do need help - i sound insane. Im not, im just going through stuff...maybe i’ll end up talking to mum about it, but for now im going to take the weekend to chill.

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