#in the way that im a very closed off person i dont like social media and i will not reply to texts and its nothing personal its just me

[alasy]

advices are welcome because i ✨dont know anything anymore✨

#this friend of mine is the sweetest #we always got along even though we're very different #in the way that im a very closed off person i dont like social media and i will not reply to texts and its nothing personal its just me #he on the other hand is very talkative. loves showing affection and has like 3 different podcasts and he's friends with literally everyone #long story short he graduated and moved cities it's been 3 months #also i went through a very bad depressive episode and im still crawling out of it #he says im distant and its not because the lack of texts but because there isnt a way to communicate with me #i say im depressed and its disappearing is nothing new and he knows this. that all im asking is time #he says he's anxious and has abandonment issues and that his love language is words of affirmation #i say i was never a person that says much from the beginning and listed all other things ive done and sacrifice myself for him #he says he understands and he feels loved and cared for by me. still his love language is words of affirmation and he needs it #it feels like a demand even though he keeps saying it's not #he says there's nothing wrong with me being an overall absent person and that the problem is with him #his insecurities and words of affirmation is the way out of it #and i dont know what to do anymore #i want someone to tell me im in the wrong and that friends give in for each other #but everyone keeps saying this is not okay and i dont know i understand where he's coming from #i just .... im so tired #'ik you said you dont have energy but do you see where im coming from?' left a bad taste in my mouth #idk my heart is heavy im so exhausted and i wish he had read that damn text i sent him carefully and not rushed to replu #reply* #how can a person respect your boundaries and still cross them and then no it's actually you misunderstanding? #aita #personal

[smiggles]

This is gonna be abit of a mouthful, but I need to get it off my chest now that years have passed and we've (hopefully you have too) matured by now.

I once looked up to you, but that was a very long time ago. The trauma you caused me is irreversible. tbf I used to be a brat and if I could go back in time to backhand my younger self I would, I own up to that. But I was only a teenager, still growing and learning about myself and how to talk to others properly. Turns out I was pretty much autistic, so communication wasn't my strong point at all back then.

But even then, your two-faced behavior of proudly shitting on and bragging about how much money you were ripping off the furry community, the people who actively supported you, loved your work and paid your bills, was appalling. I had every right to call you out on it. Instead of accepting it was wrong, you sent your roommates out like attack dogs to fight your battles, defend your toxic behavior and harass me. Every time I blocked them they would find a different site to attack me on. I struggled to make friends for years after that incident, I felt I couldn't trust anyone because of what you guys did.

Years passed, and I genuinely hoped you had changed for the better, only to see a callout post during pride of all times, about your grossly acephobic attitude. I had friends who were blocked by you and didn't understand why. You need to understand your damaging actions have severe affects on real people, and when you make public apologies, the people who comment saying they forgive you don't count if they weren't the ones hurt by you. They don't speak for those affected.

I'm not looking for an apology, even if given one I probably wouldn't accept it after all the damage you've done to me. I have zero interest in you being in my life again. I just wanted to give you this perspective to get it off my chest and for you to mull on, I want you to use it to improve yourself as a person moving forward. See the wrong in your actions, how badly it affects others, and make the choice to make things right.

But that's up to you now.

Hey, I know who this is an I want you to know that I think about you often.

Read more below

Sometimes your stuff shows up on my feed or someone shares something with me that youve made because we have common interests and I think to myself Im glad theyre doing well and I hope youre surrounded by people who support you. I dont say this as a way to like Save face because this is a public anon. I would say this to you in private if I could. I was a very nasty person years and years ago and no apology will take back the pain Ive caused others from that. Especially not you. But I am sorry. I wish things could have been different. I do. For the acephobia. Yes. I was acephobic and horrible about it. I hurt a lot of people from that and cant ever take that back but know that Ive learned a lot about how to treat others and unpack the internalized hatred towards my own ace'ness and how others present themselves. I also want to say I never sent my roommates on you. That was a choice they did on their own without my knowledge. I never ever want someone to go after anyone on my behalf and while it is likely hard to believe that those who have known me these past 5-6 years can vouch that as true. I have on multiple occasions asked my friends to leave people alone I end up disagreeing with. I never name drop people I dont get along with. I dont even tell people besides my very very private close friends about what happened between me and you and that might be about 3 or 4 people at most. As for blocking? I block very liberally LOL and its almost never personal. I block people for the smallest things just to curate my social media experience. If you ever wanted to reconnect and try again Im here. And I have no hatred in my heart. I have held myself accountable all these years for things I should have done better. Handled softer. In the end Truly. Im glad youve made a beautiful career out of something you love and no matter what happens between us I hope you continue to thrive. With all my heart.

#smigglesask #I often tell anyone who asks about the callout on me that it is 100000% warranted and that I was a piece of shit and people deserve #to know what kind of person i used to be #I dont want to hide and pretend Im perfect or that I never hurt people

[theoddest1]

i fear viv is like j*k*r -

there is evidence, proof, so so much of it. and even then, just her behavior alone, without the really bad stuff, is questionable to say the least. i dont know how to put it, but she and her fans act like 12 year olds on wattpad (i used to be one of those kids to some extent ik what im talking about here lmfao). it is a FACT she's horrible and disgusting (i could list a thousand other things here but the critical community already knows all this) and still people defend and dickride her. it is no lie that her fanbase is like a cult. i wonder if these people are actually completely oblivious or are just as horrid because the fact she's a horrible person is as clear as day. the fetish shit, her weird ass transphobia, her blatant disgregard to actual victims that aren't her fans, her drawing... that , her racism, her- should i go on? and i fear there is no consequences for BOTH these people- they will go on until they die without ever facing their actions and stuff. its disturbing.

its like j*k*r all over again. i sense a pattern here. not sure what kind, but its so fucking baffling how both are horrid and insufferable AS CLEAR AS DAY as people and HARM OTHERS and still get so much support. both need to be studied because what the fuck have they going on that protects them meanwhile some people on social media get cancelled for one sentence they said 17 years ago (not that that's not "valid" it's just baffling how some people get cancelled over the smallest shit meanwhile....) and these people get to enjoy their life without consequences while there's MOUNTAINS of proven evidence.

i feel like i discovered a goddamn alien baby the way im so fucking flabbergasted at all this.

anyways, sorry for the rant.

i hope you have a nice day/evening/morning/night!

Hey, no worries! Rant away! It's a very strange enigma for sure, and the fandon does indeed act like a cult! My guess for how Viv keeps getting away with all this stuff is that she has a parasocial relationship with her fanbase. The idea of landing a job or getting close with a creator with such a large following overrides any sense of reason or care for her actions, so people keep gassing her up because it could likely lead her to like or comment on their stuff. There's also the pseudo kind act she puts on, so people think she's the sweetest person ever when she has showcased the opposite. There's also a loooot of fandom bullying. Lots of the big dogs in the fandom bully people into silence or make em think they're in the wrong.

There's a WHOLE lot of control going on here, and thanks to her ass kissers logic is thrown out the window. Finally, there were the overblown posts highlighting things that, while weird or gross, aren't "cancelable" enough or downright exaggerations of the truth or lies. These threads on Twitter, especially back in 2019, did more harm than good and led many into believing there was a mob that simply wanted to cancel her for being popular. The threads consisted of her old cringe art (some are very questionable don't get me wrong) rather than the ones where she encouraged fandom bullying and made fun of a 15 year old fan for simply being critical of her work and called them nasty for it. No one did any research on her behavior or how she was an absolute bully to people like Starvader. Callouts need to consist of hard evidence so stuff like this doesn't happen, where your callout does more harm than good.

These factors led to many straight up turning off their brains and blatantly ignoring hard evidence. It's very, very stupid.

Also, who is the other person you mentioned? The only one that comes to mind is the guy who plays League of Legends and is famous for winning many championships.

#anon ask #vivziepop #vivienne medrano #viv get a grip #vivziepop critical #vivziepop criticism

[urfavtwat]

so I have a friend who ghosted me twice and I know the easy answer to this is cut them off … yes but it’s not as easy because we did communicate and it just sucks that I had to find out she got engaged through rumors and we saw each other a few times then she ghosted bc she called off her own wedding so I gave her the spce she needed but you know it’s been two years she been dragging this same excuse instead of asking for help I offered but still she insisted that she suppress it anyways fast forward I find out she gets married through social media . I just want to know if I’m on the wrong for reacting and being frustrating with her . We spoke even before and she failed to update me and now that I confronted she keeps justifying her ghosting by say life happens it’s about practicality also the fact that everyone has a reason that’s not known to one another just to justify her not communicating with me and ghosting . What can I say to her ! Any thoughts and I just want to know if I’m

So, I’m going to make multiple points here and look at some of these points from a variety of angles but i will just say before anything as a disclaimer I’m seeing it as one guy with very little context. All things like this are entirely case by case and you would know this person better than me so anything i say just take with a pinch of salt.

I think whats best to really consider is a) the reason she ghosted you particularly. Was it you amongst many others or was it you because of a significance you play in complicating their emotions etc. b) how close you were.

The simple answer aside from cutting this person off is as an outsider looking in it doesn’t really look like she owes you anything. Whilst i risk sounding blunt saying this I’m a firm believer in the fact no one is owed or should expect anything. It’s decency to get an explanation and i would hope you would get one. I have been ghosted by people very close to my heart and the one thing that hurt was the lack of explanation, i just wake up and bam I’m blocked. But whilst its nice to get one by no means would anyone have to nor would they have to ask you for help.

Now context is paramount as if you are being blocked along with 50 people then that would suggest she just wants to be alone and maybe doesnt want to have to tell the whole world updates on her life. Getting married is a massive commitment which im sure is exhausting enough so maybe thinking to explain it to people you dont have to isnt the most appealing as it probably gets to a point where it becomes exhausting going through the motions of telling someone again.

By contrast again contextually dependant maybe she is blocking you specifically because you play that role in complicating emotions.

Additionally how did you approach the subject when you knew? If this person is struggling to stay afloat did you go to them with support and excitement of their news or did you immediately go with hostility and confront them? As if this was the case it could play support to why she struggles to communicate with you. These things go both ways and its definitely worth looking back on how you acted to see if you were the most approachable version of yourself.

Alternatively maybe you were approachable and understanding and supportive and maybe the reality of all this is that you deserve better and people who treat you to the same high regard in which you treat them.

Ive been in your position and i truly do understand how you feel and what i have discussed above is things i found years later when reflecting on the way i acted and by no means is intended to be intentionally challenging.

To summarise, people don’t owe you shit, know your worth, however if you truly feel mistreated as hard as it is and i know it is, it might be time to throw in the towel on this one.

I hope this had helped and provided some insight as an outsider looking in and i hope its maybe provided a new perspective to become either more understanding or to clarify emotions you already felt. I wish you all the best.

#anon #ask #an absolute novel sorry readers

[troybarnesbabygirlconfirmed]

hey!!!! so, im making a social media edit and like my friend gave me a prompt. its britta and abed talking sh*t abt jeff but i haven’t seen the show in like AGES so idk how to do that, so do you have any ideas on how they would do that? (asking since youre a writer)

LMAO okay my thoughts:

britta and abed know jeff the best of any character beside the dean because he reads jeff’s emails

jeff and abed relate to each other personality-wise a lot so i think the bulk of them starting to talk shit about him (when you talk shit with someone, you usually dont wanna get too offensive too fast) would probably come from his appearance because britta finds abed’s insults on appearance most funny

probably would start with them insulting his forehead and move past that

britta would insult how his daddy issues make him bitter and hateful and probably also his “cool” guy mentality, she would probably also talk about the way he is in bed.

(depending on how canon you want this to be, abed would probably either listen patiently or agree… 😏)

abed would probably go for jeff’s tendency to bottle up and explode as well as the “im so awesome” act, although he’d probably be the first to say he truly does see jeff’s insecurities and how they play into his current personality

britta could also start going off on his fear of commitment but i feel like abed, having some issues with close partnership himself, might not be as responsive.

i’d probably make britta talk more than abed does because britta’s anger tends to escalate and make her hyperverbal whereas abed’s anger is very sharp but generally contained.

ANYWAYS THIS IS A LONG RESPONSE HOPE THIS HELPS

[valeriehalla]

hi this might be a strange question but on twitter i often see you posting stuff about, what I assume to be image optimization? like, i can't really tell because its a lot of jargon i dont really get, but i see you drop a lot of musings on different types of image formats and the colours they can support and what exporting your art into them looks like and whatnot. and like, i hardly understand any of it but it looks really interesting to me and I want to explore it. do you know what im referring to and whats a good place to start?

i'm going to tell you this straight up: it is so normal to not know what the f██k i'm talking about at any given moment!!!!! especially on twitter.

right now i'm developing a small engine for playing a kind of visual novel in the browser. because it runs in a web browser and downloads data off a server as you play it, it's important to store the images in a way that minimizes their filesize while keeping their quality as high as possible. i happen to be the kind of person who finds this stuff very fascinating. that said, if you're not in the position of developing a web app, image optimization is really super not something you need to worry about. for one thing, any image you upload to a social media website is going to be re-processed by their servers anyway; the filetype will be changed, the image will be scaled and compressed in a number of ways beyond your control. so if you're uploading to social media, or any other automated image upload system, you should just feed it the highest quality PNG you can export and not worry about it.

if you are in a position where you're hosting image files and they're not being processed by someone else: use webp! "it's the best image file format and it's not even close." it can compress images losslessly (like png) or lossily (like jpeg), and it is far far better at it than either of those formats while offering more features. beyond the choice of filetype and selecting a quality setting that you like, everything else is basically just nitpicking. (it's just a kind of nit i love to pick)

#ask #text

[morphogenetic]

i recognize this might be a bat to a hornets nest but curious about more in-depth ndvr3 opinions

hi anon im sorry this took one million years to answer properly (bc i never got an answer back about how long you wanted this to be) but im answering it now. spoilers for v3 and very concentrated dislike of dr as a series (and especially v3 lol) below the cut

as a whole, dr does a very poor job at making its characters feel fleshed out. this is, i know, kind of the point - they're all supposed to essentially be very exaggerated versions of some specific tropes common in jp media, i.e gundham being an extreme chuuni. after the first game though, which feels like more of a proof of concept than an actually well-designed game, the extreme flatness (ironically shown very well by the pop-up-book art style lol) just gets worse and worse and the characters in v3 in particular are even less fleshed out than before. i realize that for v3 this is somewhat a consequence of them trying to drive home the 'these are characters written by someone else' point, but like.......even if you're trying to make the point that someone wrote the characters to be like that, you can still write the characters well if you're trying to pull off genuinely emotional moments w them. e.g. every time they tried to make kaito's illness sad i could not give LESS of a shit about it because he just has the one-note personality.

dr has always had the problem where characters - outside of komaeda and hinata in sdr2, who are IMO the best developed characters in the whole series, especially komaeda - are only as well developed as the amount of time you spend doing their social links (or occasionally the particular trial that focuses on them, if that applies). of course, it's literally impossible to complete everyone's social events during the main mode of the game - unlike, for example, p4 or p5, where you can at least get close if you dont finish the whole social link. as such, it is extremely difficult to form an attachment to more than 1 or 2 characters before they kill/are killed. this is especially true when it's immediately obvious who has less of a personality than everyone else - or has more of a trope of a personality - and it's intensely predictable who is going to die early. for example, in v3, it was almost immediately obvious to me that tennis guy, maid girl, and angie and tenko were not going to make it to the end of the game, and were all early deaths, because of how paper-thin their personalities are. of course, this meant that i didn't bother doing their social events at all, so i had no attachment to them when they did inevitably die. this is a problem w every single dr game but its especially bad with this one.

(don't even get me started on how ive been able to figure out the majority of the solution to each case before the trial even starts or gets farther than like 30 minutes in. or how the issues that the students raise are often incredibly stupid and take WAY too much time and energy to shoot down when its so obvious that they're completely wrong. it's just. filler for in so many of the trials and it is incredibly annoying. the amount of filler before seesaw effect made me insane.)

now for my main v3 specific complaint: the fucking ending.

i actually like meta endings, you must understand that about me before reading the rest of this. meta in video games in general is something i love as long as it's well executed. i adore how uchikoshi handles it in [GAME REDACTED TO AVOID SPOILERS], for example, even though a lot of people seemed to have missed the point with it entirely.

the key word there is "well-exectued." v3 is not.

first of all: if you're trying to make this a meta case where v3 is part of the ongoing DR series....why are you trying to say that the video game you're playing is part of a TV show???? it feels as natural to say that a TV show you're watching is secretly a book someone else is reading. it's not a natural jump between mediums in the slightest, and what makes it even more annoying is that dr as a series is a primarily-video-game series!!!!!!!!! what on EARTH are you doing trying to be meta about your video game secretly being a TV show. it makes no fucking sense. if they tried to say that it was a mixed-medium franchise, that I would accept, because DR IS a mixed-media franchise. but it feels incredibly stupid to retroactively say that 'these two video games we wrote in the past are actually tv shows.' what? no. that's not how mediums work.

secondly: the meta does not work effectively in a series like dr to begin with when it already is constantly breaking the 4th wall for comedy - which i don't actually have any significant problems with. i personally think it's a lazy way of trying to be funny when it's the primary way you try to make your game funny, but i can accept that it works with the general character trope adherence of the series as a whole. however, because of how meta is often used as a joke in the series, when they suddenly try to make the meta serious, while also still keeping elements of the meta comedy at the same exact time that you're revealing that the meta Is Dead Serious Stuff, the complete tonal dissonance really works against you.

lastly: it does not really feel like the writers wrote v3 as a whole to be meta, if that makes sense. [redacted uchi game] feels like it was always meant to be that way, and so it feels completely natural that it leans into fourth-wall breaking all the time. however, the way that the meta ending comes across in v3 is just that they didn't have any other better ideas on how to end the game/were running against a time deadline and just threw in the 'ehhhhhhhhh we're already meta all the time for comedy let's do that for the ending but serious this time' towel. as i said earlier, i like meta in games when it's well-exectued, but poorly executed/written metanarrative always sticks out, and in the case of v3 it is especially bad because it doesn't even seem like they wrote the first case AFTER the last case....which you need to do in order to successfully pull off the meta in a case like v3. and is also wild considering the very beginning of the game makes it clear that they did actually go back and try to drop foreshadowing earlier without editing much of the rest of the game to accommodate for that.

tldr the writing around the metanarrative ending is just so intensely bad that it's kind of unbelievable to me that people think it's a good ending.

sorry if you like dr but tldr its a mediocre series and its baffling to me how it got popular, but also people saying v3 is better at being meta than [redacted uchikoshi game] is an opinion ive seen more than once that just makes me fucking laugh.

#asks #anonymous #'aj don't you rb dr art sometimes' yes because sometimes the art is good. next question #[also i havent watched the dr3 tv show or...whatever the other was. the two anime original pieces. so this is complaint isnt based on those #sorry anon that it took forever for me to actually answer you. hopefully this answers your question thoroughly enough lol

[freebooter4ever]

Hey thanks I thought I was the only one who didn’t like the joke. Everyone laughed yuck

Ahhhhh yeah :/ i thought the joke was definitely funny, but with that harsh twinge of sadness at just how normalized and accepted this sort of sexism STILL is.

' i was never good at telling jokes but the punchline goes, i get older but your lovers stay my age '

And its not necessarily a damnation of the man himself - obviously rami is a favorite of mine but i dont think hes ever dated anyone over 30 and is veering towards jake and leo disease too, and i still think rami is one of the most brilliant character narrative builders in the business currently - but its a damnation of a culture that treats romantic partners not as equals but as disposable play things with an expiration date. Look, i got flirted with by much older guys in pittsburgh all the time - usually it was cute, they were friendly, very complimentary and flattering about it, and they never treated it seriously or asked me out. Then i came to LA and the difference was night and day. Older (rich) men here feel entitled to younger women in a way that is frankly scary - at one point in a bar when a guy in his 60s was hitting on me my muscular male friend had to physically step between us and scare the guy off to get him to go away.

And it doesn't help that im sort of in the 'one of the guys' category, so i've heard the way these super rich dudes talk about the models they date behind their back while hanging with 'the guys', and, ugh, its not nice. I will say one thing for sports dudes - i imagine guys like ja*gr have way more respect for young women who are passionate about health and fitness than computer science executives.

But there's negatives in the sports world too - yall know how much i adore taylor. But even i recognize that she's not 'sports bro hot' - she doesn't have silicone, her make up is understated, she doesn't have that social media defined 'hotness' that sports fan dudes expect their sports heroes to date. So while i was naively scrolling insta looking for cute snapshots of taylor and travis being all lovey dovey at the end of the game, a good half the comments were men complaining about her. Saying they cant understand why travis is dating someone so old, that she will never be able to give him kids, that she's already showing her age (both of them are 34 btw). So far travis seems to ignore these types of comments but it would be hard to judge him for giving into peer pressure because this stuff is just so prevelant and exhausting.

And it does effect us older women - while i was dating Pilot Boy i was absolutely hyper aware of the fact that here is this rich, handsome, successful, and extremely smart guy dating beneath him. Like we bonded over being literally the same age - we had mutual friends in college without even knowing it. But i was always questioning like what does this guy see in me - why isn't he dating a gorgeous 25 year old whose only goal in life is to live on the beach with him??? Like he was honestly more the type of dude i would be friends with while he dates hotter women, lol. So i really was not surprised when he ended things (i was mostly sad that we couldnt stay friends and continue geeking out on airplanes and history together LOL), it just felt like it made sense, of course he wouldn't be serious about me, a guy like him should be dating a fresh, youthful, less bitter and cynical 25 yr old blonde. Six years in LA and this is just the pattern i see repeating itself over and over.

And im the romantic - when i fall in love its ALL in. Usually it's personality, usually its intellectual - that comfort in finding someone who just understands how you think. I love being so close to someone that you know them better than yourself, that you can communicate wordlessly. Shared humor, shared experience. As i age im learning that i actually dont pay much attention to the signs of aging when it comes to attraction - who notices wrinkles when what you're in love with is that look in their eye when they smile at you? The mental connection between romantic partners is the most important for me in my book. For me this typically means someone within the ten year range plus or minus - though i prefer it even within a five year age gap.

#But i also really feel for the women because when i was 22 i got myself into a relationship with a man a decade older #Who only valued me for my youth and tight skin #And even back then no matter how much in love i was (and i have since deleted all the posts but even after he dumped me i was still #coming on this blog sighing about how much i loved and missed him) #The feeling of being only valued for your youth was still skeevy to me #In the back of my mind i knew that this was a trait i was eventually going to lose because everyone ages #And i was not confident enough to think i would ever have any value beyond Young #And thats not to say there are not relationships with age gaps that are healthy - there totally are look at ally and justin they ARE love #Its just a very specific type of relationship where the older partner keeps dating younger and younger and only values youth #that creeps me out #And in our culture that narrative usually is an older man with a younger woman and i tend to side with the woman #THE GOOD NEWS is if you notice in the clips and gifs it looks like the younger guys on the pens are laughing a lot less than the old guard #i think the newer generation - the dudes in their 20s are starting to realize how shallow all this is and that things are changing #and that the generation of women after me will deal with a lot less pressure #At least i hope!!! #Jrnlsht #Sorry this got long

[falled-over]

CW mentions of self-harm specifically cutting (rant about jokes online, discussed in the abstract. not very interesting, not worth feeling uncomfortable reading)

ive never seen a single joke made about the type of s/h that springs to mind when you read the word that didnt feel intensely uncomfortable to read or hear. i dont think its something that is good to make jokes about on say instagram reels because it is something that young people who're prone to being intensely online are Extremely vulnerable to and seeing their favourite creators or even just a fun looking stranger make a casual joke about it could have crazy knock on effects. (cont including examples of jokes under the squiggle)

these days i feel like every alternate fashion person or online personality is like 'me because if i got close enough to a barcode scanner it would go off' or whatever framed in a sort of cute, casual tone that indicates they dont see it as a big deal.

but theres this look in their eye as they tell it, i always see it, that is always so present in people who engage with passive or perhaps the term is 'non-suicidal' (self harm without the intent to end ones life by doing the action) with the intent of having a way to prove their internal pain (there are many reasons a person may do so but this is a common one) asking for you to make it worth it. for you to worry. for it to have worked. to earn the care they lacked. its so fucked up to see. it makes my skin crawl. especially because there are kids who will see it working, will see the nice comments, and think 'oh, thats all i have to do'. its weird. its both a much bigger deal than people realise and not a big deal at all. i wish people would understand the consequences of their actions. theres a reason for its uptick after the rise of social media. you are allowed to do, say, draw whatever you like, but you could hurt someone else. you do have a responsibility when posting to an app like instagram that has a randomised algorithm, or any algorithm at all. if someone can see it without seeking it out then its dangerous to post it

plus like what if someones whos trying to quit sees that? youre going to trigger them in some way or another, right? or youre going to make them feel that the only way to be rewarded is to make a joke of their own. thus continuing it. and no putting a 'CW' at the top is not enough. (i know this post has one. im posting this to my tumblr that is not teenage in its audience or content so i feel safe doing so. i dont have a 'minors DNI' because that has never worked, i just post content i feel is more appealing to people my age. if you guys are vulnerable i hope i have written this in a manner that is detached enough from emotional triggers that if you chose to read it you are able to engage with the subject objectively instead of subjectively)

also cringe is such a powerful weapon. if cool people talk about s/h it will seem cool, but if you literally just make it seem kinda lame people will stop. im not kidding. such a hard thing to navigate because obviously people need love and support but ive literally seen people stop engaging in self harming behaviours because they though it was kinda cringe.

even the way ive described it here, how i see it as a cry for someone to care when someone makes a joke about it, is appealing. it makes it appealing. its cooked man. i dunno

#i have gripes with its depiction in commercial art too. like i see it on t shirts over here #its not new but tying it to a fashion subculture is sooo cool and soo not encouraging to kids to engage #whatever

[heyharoldsboo]

Hi ARIES, look we know you lurk around here because Ana has mentioned how she gets weekly asks calling her a dickriding cunt. Gotta assume it’s you at this point. I know this is a long message but i suggest you read it.

We know you are the reddit poster. We also know who “the minor that percy groomed and abused” is and we know the age difference between them is not 5 years like you said (even though initially you said about 3-4…you should have read your proof better tbh) but about 2.5 years and we also know that this girl still follows percy and katie on ig. (For those who dont know, dont try to find this girl ppl its impossible she changer her name in ig). And he followed her before your army of minions bullied him into unfollowing all his friends and art pages on insta. If she was so terrified and abused by him why is she still following him and his current gf or ex gf wtv they are? Ohh and speaking of this minor, there is proof on ig of you doing drugs with her when she was still a minor and you were over 18. Thats not a great! People are not exposing her because its obvious she does not wanna get involved, shes only 18. But thats because Percy defenders have respect and dont wanna scoop low. That is also the reason why the reddit post proof has not been shared. So keep that in mind.

as for your SA allegations, i dont want to assume what SA is like for any given person but if you did meet him at a party, you yourself said he “ touched your back and hips and asked you to chill”. So basically he hit on you? you also said it was not violent and that you know some people will say its nothing. Why would you say that at all if what he really did was SA? I also find it strabge how you seem to post insta stories from ever party you ever go to lately but you didnt back then? During the age of smartphones. And also you should tell Kayla DMs dont get deleted when someone blocks you or an app gets updated.

but anyways, dont wanna get too much into debunking proof, there a lot if that on twitter. I wanna tell you that it is more than clear you are not well. The way you post on reddit, especially facebook. I know its not easy mental health wise and you need help. Those tweets you tweeted yesterday, about how you have done horrible things and cant apologise, dont know what thats about but if its about Percy you should come clean. I know you never will though, too much to ask for because what you and your friends have done is truly inhumane. You took a small toxic part of a teens life, when he was probably troubled and part of an awful group of friends with those girls and that brycen guy and embelished a situation to put a narrative out there that he was some weekly rapist. And you all know this, thats why you dont have better proof, thats why the only things you could provide was proof he cheated on Karis and told Desiree she wasnt a liar and had to inform himself because it was the first time he had to deal with this and it was a delicate situation. If he raped girls every weekend, why was it the first time he had to deal with that when desiree says she got raped at a party? Desiree does not deny whatbhe says at all. Also, why did Kayla text a rapist to call someone to make all this end? Why give a rapist any chance to apologize or “explain himself”? Makes no sense. you see Aries the very own ss you girls shared invalidate the narrative you were trying to put out there. Because you all knew simply saying he was a womanizer and a bully would not be enough to cancel him.

Not a lot of people have any compassion left for you. Maybe im soft but I kind of do. Because I had a family member who had the issues that you are dealing with now and I know how hard it is. You need help, professional help and to find the right medication and the right dosage as well. And you need to get off social media, it is the worst thing for someone in your situation. You should come clean about how you feel and what you did and close it off. Disconnect, clear your mind and girl i dont know if you are seeing one or not, but you need a better doctor or therapist. I do feel for you a bit, even if so many people dont because i dont think you’re thinking straight and i think you are very confused and in crisis.

i dont know about the rest of the girls, but wtv grudge they held against percy from high school, they got their revenge. He will have haters forever, this will forever be a stain on his life and career. You have all done SO MUCH damage, you have no idea! So congratulations but now ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! From all you!

i truly wish you get the help you need one day

I'm glad there are still compassionate people in this world, because I am one of the people who have no kindness or compassion left for her or any of the Shitshow sisters.

I hope karma gets her good.

#i stand with percy #percy is innocent #heyharoldsboo

[stuckinapril]

hello ! ive noticed people coming here to vent/ask for advice so hopefully its alright for me to join in on that ?

so i kind of got absorbed into a friend group a few years ago (they all already new each other, i was new to the school) and ended up dating one of the guys in it for a bit. we never like officially broke up, things just kind of faded out and we eventually stopped talking and after that i stopped talking to the rest of the group too - this was over a year ago at this point. but we all still followed each other on social media and stuff and i was still in the group chat - i muted it after a while but i would check it occasionally just to see what they were up to. recently i had been thinking about leaving it since i never talked to them but i kept putting it off or forgetting and i just went to check it the other day and noticed that they kicked me out of it. its just gone.

and i feel bad for being upset about it because like it makes sense for them to not want me there i havent spoken to them in well over a year, and theyre all really good friends im just the random person that showed up one day and then disappeared. i was never that close with any of them, and i dont have any interest in trying to get back with the guy i dated. i was thinking about leaving anyway. i guess its just like..the finality of it i guess. they dont want me there anymore. thats it.

i dont really know what my point is here honestly, i guess this is just more of a vent really. if you know of a way to stop thinking about this kind of situation and move on that would be appreciated, but thank you for allowing people to vent here either way. i hope youre having a good day/night

tbh i think this is an ego thing. you would have been fine cutting ties w them if you were the one to leave the group chat, but now that they made that decision for you, it's a hard thing to accept. ask yourself why you truly feel this way. maybe some of it is the nostalgia factor--you want to be connected to them somehow--but the bigger thing here is you probably didn't like the fact that they didn't value you enough to keep you around.

when you don't have a lot of confidence in yourself, every little thing can be a blow to your ego. i'm saying this bc i definitely was that person. if what you described happened to me like a year or two ago, it would have bothered the fuck out of me. but not me today haha. i would literally just be like "oh that's weird" and then move on w my life, bc i don't need these people's validation to know i'm a great friend to have, and that i have a lot to offer. you guys just drifted apart. they probably saw no point to you staying. the connection isn't close enough for them to care either way. remind yourself that there are 7 billion people in this world, and you'd be fine wo them. you were fine wo them in the first place. it's a matter of uprooting why this very external thing is affecting your ego to this extent

#ask

[poliodeuces]

HELLOOOOO I ABSOLUTELY ADORE YOUR ART it's sooo beautiful and I stare at your work so much!! do you have any art inspirations? like any artists or specific pieces that just. scratch your brain?? hope you're having a good one ^o^

first of all: thank you so much! don't get lost in it now! and secondly: i have put off answering this ask for so long bc i find that question pretty difficult to answer. i love way, way too much art. but still it's an opportunity to showcase some that i love. under the cut :) im sorry if this off from what you're expecting (crying emoji)

these are a small fraction of art that tickle my brain, only visual, sometimes inspiration just springs from a non-fiction like an essay, or in the repetition of furniture music, a strange movie with a story but with no discernible plot (the best kind of movie), when you cook a meal etc etc ....they exist where you least expect it........

i mainly do two art styles that, despite me whining abt inconsistency, are deliberate bc they give different moods, and i dont really care if my art doesnt look the same, esp since im not really interested in the industry where style consistency is part of branding yada yada. it’s more fun this way. i'll start with the inks.

one of my favourite mangaka ever is nishioka kyoudai. they're a brother-sister duo that writes these surreal poem-like stories without a plot. once you see it, it's a Very obvious inspiration. when i first got into hypmic, one of the comments i even made then was gentaro feels like a character from their work which lead to no longer human comic later for inktober www thats why i draw him a lot in the style inspired from their art...

below is the front and back cover of their most popular manga: kami no kodomo (just a warning if anyone checks this out: it's violent and disgusting. dont be like me who read them @ age 12, i was an edgy problem child)

another one of my favourites is taiyo matsumoto. art below is from their manga titled tekkon kinkreet, which has a movie ! and one of their manga got an anime adaptation as well....please watch ping pong the animation it's really good (shameless promo)

theres more, but these two mangaka really got me loving inks and not caring abt my art looking all social media pretty. weird is great!!! i embrace manga that looks unconventional

now for paintings, it's a different world ww most of them are contemporary. i like paintings that depict smth mundane or private. i love tenderness.......i like it when bodies feel like they merge into one, and where the figures' edges become imperceptible unless you look closely. intimism is where it’s at babey!!

(artists in order from left to right: egon schiele; toulouse-lautrec; ron hicks; doron langberg)

but non-representational art is really cool too...

(lindy chambers, julia soboleva, melissa santamaria, mark rothko)

im inspired by whatever this page called "1995 was an ok year" on facebook does. smth i want to get across w my art (although im aware i dont post my personal art here, maybe it happens w my fanart too who knows), when i really really try, is to recall memory that maybe didnt even happen, but the mood is there and it's felt. im terrible at storytelling but im obsessed with atmosphere, i hope it works lol

have a good day too anon !! sorry for the long reply

#ask #i know it wont be reblogged #but still pls dont rb this #thank you!

[dearestones]

Death Note Matchup: Matt/Mail Jeevas

Warnings: Fluff.

@ll4wliet Request: may i request a death note matchup? i prefer something platonic :D any gender is fine

i have short, black hair, very messy, im 150 cm, i guess thats it. My hobbies are playing games, doodling (and drawing, etc), window shopping (is that a hobby? i dont know but i just like to look at stuff.). My interests are death note, bee and puppycat, random toys, pokemon, plushies, vocaloid, collecting (i dont really collect stuff but i'd like to sometime.). I'm a bit awkward with new people and I'll usually mind my business, but I'm fine with talking with people I'm okay with and can hold a conversation with. I have trouble with talking to people most times, it ends up awkward. For people I'm close with I'd love to talk with for hours, especially when it's something I'm interested in. I get distracted alot, i sometimes zone out and not pay attention to something (especially during some games i play), I'm a picky eater sometimes. I can get fascinated by random images and waste my time scrolling on tumblr (honestly thats the only social media i have other then tt), especially when its something of my interest. I am very forgetful, i tend to do some things last minute. And thats it i guess? i hope i didnt go over the word limit but i am very sorry if i did!

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After reading through your description, I believe that you match well with Matt or Mail Jeevas!

What a coincidence, Matt also happens to like some of your hobbies; gaming is what really catches his eyes, though. He’ll gladly take you window shopping, but you have to be patient whenever he visits video game stores once you’re done with your own shopping experience. And if something in particular catches your eye, Matt will definitely give you some of his money to buy it. Don’t be shy! He’s got way more in several offshore accounts and from escapades that are from legal. 

Matt usually keeps to himself, often deferring to others when it comes to socialization, but he finds himself drawn to you. He’s had his fair share of dealing with awkward people, especially when he was growing up in an orphanage, so he knows how to navigate your personality and help you to open up. 

When you do finally warm up to him and start holding conversations, he will definitely enjoy what you have to say. He wants to know all your thoughts, your feelings, your hobbies, and your interests. It doesn’t matter if you sound awkward or he doesn’t know what you’re talking about, he just wants to be there with you experiencing the nuances and flavors of your voice. 

He’ll definitely tease you when he realizes that you get distracted a lot. He might pinch your cheek or wave his gloves in front of your face to get your attention back. If the both of you are comfortable with it, he’ll definitely try to kiss you on any parts of your face just so that he can see the lovely look in your eyes when you realize that you’ve been drifting off again. He might get a little irritated if you’re playing a game that requires more than one player, but he won’t hold it against you for too long. 

Ooohh, he would like to know what sorts of foods that you like to eat and what you don’t eat. Certain textures and smells don’t always agree with him as well, so he has a certain diet that he sticks to just so he has enough nutrition throughout the day. (Yes, he is including junk food as adequate nutrition because he is still a gamer and needs to maintain his reputation, thank you very much). 

Please don’t show this man your tumblr account. He’ll tease you for using this website for a few minutes before checking out your blog. If you have the standard theme and profile picture that comes with the website, he’s definitely going into your code and updating it. You have an idea for a new theme? A certain aesthetic that you ascribe to? Never fear, Matt will either find you a new theme with an adaptable source code or he’ll make it from scratch. Depending on what route he takes, you’ll find that your theme is both pretty modern and user friendly once he gives you your tumblr back. 

Forgetful and procrastinating? Now you’re speaking Matt’s language! He also tends to put things off until the last minute. It’s not that he is trying to forget things on purpose, it’s just that the world is far more exciting than some of his priorities, you know? If you are worried about forgetting important things, Matt will try to help you out, but he won’t always be successful. He’ll tease you from time to time, but encourage you to write down tasks so that you remember better next time. 

Overall, you’re a pretty low maintenance couple. There might be times when Matt may have to pull away for some time alone, but that’s because of his laidback and introverted disposition. 

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If you want to donate a Ko-Fi, feel free https://ko-fi.com/devintrinidad.

DEATH NOTE MASTERLIST

#death note #death note matt #death note mail jeevas #dn matt #dn mail jeevas #death note matchup #dn matchup #matchup #matchups #dearestones #devintriidad

[astaerie]

do YOU want to hear about my hrsg notes? well u don’t get a choice. here

florian notes first. he’s from galar! obviously. but did u know that they’re cousins with elio (protag from pkmn sun in alola)? both of his alolan regional pokemon (ninetails and raichu) were caught there when he went to visit his cousins a few years before he moved to paldea

also his raichu is shiny. because i have a shiny alolan raichu named hersey.

florian is also very well known as like. That Guy that shows up whenever and usually in the weirdest places. they spend most of their time in the wild shiny hunting for pokemon (and he has a tendency to just. not check his phone at all for hours) so ppl just cannot get a hold of him unless he’s like. in the same physical space as them.

kieran is the sole exception (plus his mother) of ppl he actually responds to on time. they’re also probably the only ppl in his favorite contacts just so that he still gets their notifs when he’s on dnd (which is. all the time. shiny hunting requires a lot of focus!!)

on the topic of phones. kieran gets one. its a plot reason but he gets one eventually. he really wanted to wait until he saw florian again so he could have them as the first person in his contacts but carmine wouldnt let him (he has to contact home somehow! kieran was kinda miffed about it)

kieran’s sooo a default texter. like normal caps and autocorrect. he still spells a few things wrong but he fixed it in another msg if he can. he also doesnt msg as often since he’s not used to having a phone and generally uses it to keep in touch with his friends and family.

if kieran has any social media its def to just research the trends in the competitive scene (and most of his posts are reddit style where he does intense theorycrafting with other competitve nerds)

florian is like. ghost level texter. they will leave you on read (not actually, they turned that off so penny would stop getting mad at him for not replying for days). he’s definitely very casual regarding tone and doesn’t talk much via text. he is, however, a big fan of calls! especially calling kieran. (to no one’s surprise)

kieran is also the only one (and maybe penny. idk im still figuring out florian’s level of closeness with everyone else) that florian actually replies to in a somewhat expressive manner. when kieran shows his texts with florian to the others theyre all like. are we talking about the same person. are you sure that’s florian and not an imposter.

when florian and kieran DO get together, its as partners in a QPR! florian is an alloromantic pansexual whereas kieran is arospec (and maybe leaning towards aroflux for a specific identity. its too confusing so he just sits as an unlabeled aro guy)

they both experience romantic attraction towards each other but florian is more comfortable with it (also cuz he’s allo so. they know what romantic attraction feels like right?) kieran’s… well. its a mix of heavy platonic attachment and a lil bit of romantic attraction. he’s still very into florian obvs but he’s not entirely sure if its strictly romantic or platonic. eventually he gives up trying to figure it out and goes. i like florian. a lot. and i want to be their partner for life. that’s it

i’ve been debating on whether or not florian should also be arospec when i think about his feelings… nvm i lied. florian is really whipped, they just dont expect anything back! he’s a bit of a weird case (ig) where they definitely do have romantic feelings for kieran but they were also like. content being his friend until the end of days. they care and cherish kieran so so much but theyre also fine with loving him from the sidelines. florian has literally never considered that kieran might also like them back in a similar way (until his friends confront them and are like hey. you guys are being really gay this whole trip. like how is it obvious to everyone except us that you both like each other. what.)

i have more thoughts (sooo many) so. if u wanna hear more then pls send in an ask! or something. idk i’m like 90% sure im screaming into the void at this point

#♥.txt #works: apple of my eye

[markets]

hey angie, best friend anon here. yeah i dont mind! sorry if this is a little disjointed i really haven't talked about this before.

so she broke up with me and it wasn't necessarily a messy breakup but i was very overwhelmed when it happened so i didn't say very much and the conversation felt a little unfinished? but we were both emotional about it so we were giving each other space and she had been going through some other personal stuff and posting about it on social media. so i think i reached out just being like 'hey, i know we aren't together anymore but i still care about you, hope you're ok etc. etc.' and we gradually started talking to each other casually again.

before we broke up it was super long phone calls every day sort of thing but we were back down to like a couple of texts. we ran in the same friend circles though and this was while i was in high school, so hard to avoid each other completely anyways.

it definitely took a long time, im not even sure how long exactly, at least a year before we were really good friends and not just casual ones. especially when we had been going everywhere together and doing everything together previously. full honesty, it's rough. it's going to take time and effort to get back anywhere close to how it used to be and in my experience it has to go slow. it's absolutely going to feel awkward at first. i wanted to jump right back to how we were. i wanted the long calls back. i wanted to walk to the park on our lunch breaks again. but i guess more importantly, when i took a step back, i realized what i wanted more than anything was to be there for her. i just wanted her in my life, in whatever capacity i could have, i couldn't imagine giving that up. so i treated it a bit like a friend you knew who had moved away and come back, if that makes sense. and eventually we graduated and our friend groups fell apart and we were the only ones who stuck together. maybe it comes down to commitment? if you want that connection enough and you try your best to maintain it, it does last and get better/stronger over time.

the hardest thing i think was watching her get in other relationships. and not out of jealousy like some people might think but because some of them were really, really shitty people. and the first time that happens it will be like watching any other friend be in a shitty relationship that you can't talk them out of. except you know, quite possibly intimately, that they can do so much better. even better than you and absolutely better than these new people. and she confided a lot in me about her relationships once we were close again. which was also weird sometimes because in some ways you might see a place where you went wrong or where the new person reminds you of yourself and you'll just get this feeling that you're seeing an outsider point of view of your own previous relationship. idk how to describe it. also the first time i walked into her new house after she moved in with her current and longest gf, i felt a bit like being hit by a truck and seeing a possible timeline where that could've been me because we're very similar. but in a way that's a whole story of its own im sure i don't need to go off on. anyways this is extremely long but i hoped that something out of this helped in some way.

anon this kind of gutted me im ngl i was going to log out for the night but aside from the stuff that specifically pertains to your situation at the beginning i literally felt like i was reading something written by my future self if that makes sense. i so completely understand what you mean about wanting to speed past the awkwardness and go back to where you were and just needing to be there for the other person in some way shape or form. the thing about commitment was also reassuring bc one of the reasons i feel so rushed about all this is that i am graduating relatively soon so i dont really have the time to take idk a year off from us (i probably wouldn’t do it even if i could but just a hypothetical) or even a few months and then start building it back up to were we were. but im really committed to making this work even after we all go off to university. also i had just been avoiding thinking about the whole new relationships thing but it was still good to get some perspective on it so yeah thank you so much anon i really do wish you luck with all this

#long post #angieanswers.txt

[sirenofthegreenbanks]

8 and 17 of the weird writers questions!

8. If you had to write an entire story without either action or dialogue, which would you choose and how would it go?

my secret super weapon is that im incredibly good at rambling!!! monologues and internal narrations are my forte! and i love stories that tell things a little bit different that your usual conventional story. assuming by „no-action“ this question is talking about characters (choice of) action, not physical combat, basically anything that is not internal narrative, i would choose this if i wanted to challenge myself a bit. in the end, it is a little difficult to string a whole, cohesive story together that is not boring without characters doing smth tangible. i would choose no-dialogue if i wanted to explore dreamy, whismical, introspective storytelling (which i love!!!!) like in fairytales. the fairytales i grew up with have very or even no dialogue, and instead rhymes and poetic prose. both are good!

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text

im not going to talk about the details of the WIP itself. i feel these things are very private, its not yet published and i want to keep it close to my chest a little longer. but im going to talk about what it means to me, writing this WIP.

so, basically, my family has a very personal relationship with dictatorship, propaganda, freedom of speech (and thought), silence (and the violence therein), unresolved trauma, and war. thus, im having lots of feelings for tyk that are stemming directly from this. my dad (not my real dad, but more a real dad than my actual dad) was a prisoner of war and a revolutionary, and we have reason to believe he still worked in the underground network even after his escape from the regime. my parents (all three, including my actual dad) are immigrants and refugees, my grandparents escaped the regime when it was still active, my grandpa experienced smth very similar to what zhang zhehan is going through, only as an official government-statuated example and without social media terror and identity fraud. as someone who grew up in the so called "nachwende" (after the fall of the berlin wall) generation, i can only imagine what it must have been like. tyk, to me, speaks about many of these things, and doing it in such a way i can stomach (but barely!!!). as a novel from a mainland chinese author, it was created in the context of censorship in a country that is keeping its citizen under tight wraps in a state of intentional illusion, dependence, anxiety, and normalized constant surveillance. here, too, i can only try to imagine what it must be like. now, it is debatable how much of what priest does (in both tyk and qiye) can be counted as "regime resitant" beyond the fact that its danmei, and i wouldnt be the right person to answer this question either; everything i know is researched, rather than lived. but i do think it has merit (is important, even) to be conscious of the wider context the text was created in, to be aware of it, as a fic writer. i know many fics rather "escape" and focus on positive things. i dont condemn not being political, everyone can do as they like. but unfortunately, im not like them. (im different. im other. do u see this stupid hat?)

not all my WIPs are like this (fortunately!!! i do need to relax!!!!) but this one is. im pretty sure its the love child of my own family's frustrating habit of not talking about the things that are important (i recently learned my grandma grew up door-to-door with a KZ, in the sense of "seeing KZ-prisoners bypassing her garden in a long trail" as a regular day-to-day occurence, and she never mentioned it ever, and i only learned of it because my grandpa shared it off-handedly but was immediately hushed back into silence), and my own habit of not talking about stuff i should talk about, probs. sometimes feelings are too big! experienes are too heavy! and ive always been better at finding answers in stories than in real life. so. this WIP!

im sorry, thats probably not the answer u thought u would get when seleccting this question! thank you for dropping into my inbox though <3 i still have your other ask and im staring at it everytime i open my inbox, feeling extremely guilty and happy at the same time

ask me weird writers questions!

#inbox #ask game #weird writers questions #the mutual tag #cryptid #muddling in words and stuff #tyk my beloved