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bonchobrick · 1 year

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Dead on Main au where Jason is of course Danny’s Fright Knight and like all knights do he has a weapon—except it’s his gun.

The batfam + justice league + everyone (except ghosts duh) don’t know that his normal average everyday gun is actually like a super powerful spiritual soul shooter that is, yaknow, capable of blasting someone into an alternate dimension where their greatest fears become real.

So imagine there’s like a big battle where a ghastly ghoul reigns terror on Gotham. The world sends their best hero’s—wizards and occultists are notably high highest in demand—to stop the ghost but, nothing works. All of the weapons and spells and chants fail.

But,

As the fights worsens and the heros scream for people to flee suddenly--

Loud squeaking footsteps echo across the ground. Jason yawns strolling into the battle zone in a ghostbusters t-shirt plaid pants bunny slippers--he strolls up in pajamas--as if annoyed at being woken up and cocks his fucking normal 'i could buy you at walmart' gun at the ghost.

His brothers screech at him yelling ”Are you insane” and to "get the hell out of here" in fear and panic because their idiot brother is trying to kill a real life ghost with a damn gun.

But then Jason shoots the ghost and it works.

The ghost fizzles down with a cry into just a little blob.

The young man then spends 30 minutes lecturing the spirit saying things like “you’re glad I’m not calling the big guy” and “you know our highness would not be happy learning what you’ve been doing” before taking out a thermos of all things and sucking the ghost into it.

Jason then sighs and walks away as if he hadn’t just defeated a hell raising ghost with a gun people can buy off a corner pawn store and a soup container.

Immediately the bat family swarms him with questions

Dick grabs him by his shoulders tense with worry, “Are you okay?”

“Um yeah—“ Jason tries to reply squirming in his hold

Damian cuts him off, “How the hell did your gun a physical weapon hurt that ghastly demonic spirit!”

“Uh that ghost is actually pretty chill you guys just pissed him off." Jason replies plain

They stare at him with a look saying 'you did not call a ghost that has been decimating gotham chill' probably because he did just that.

Tim is the first to break out of the disbelief stupor as he very inteligently says, "What?"

Jason responds easily with a confused quirk in his brow, "Second, my gun affects entities of all sorts, perks to my job and all that."

"How did being a vigilante and also probably crime boss give you a gun that could do that?" Dick asks

Jason sends him a look saying "are you an idiot" as he replies, "Yea, sure, kicking petty thieves and druggies got me my all powerful spirit weapon--No you dumbass, it's from being the bodyguard of the King of the Infinite Realms! How the hell did you guys not think of that!”

Tim breathes in, then breathes out, then breathes in again and screams, "Why the HELL WOULD WE THINK OF THAT JAY?!"

"The--" Batman, suddenly beside them, chokes, "Bodyguard of T-the what."

Jason blinks at his family then his eyes widen, "Oh shit."

"What?!" His family screech in panic

"Oh fuck," Jason says with a growing hysteric smile, "Danny's gonna have a big ol' fucking laugh with this."

"Brother who is Danny!" Damian demands for an answer

Jason coughs into his palm, "Oh yeah you guys really dont dont know. So I may have forgotten to explain some... things."

Bruce levels him with a stare that says "you think?"

Jason chuckles nervously, "So y'know how I'm half dead?"

pause

Damian very eloquently responds for the suddenly dying screaming combusting members of his family, "...sure."

"Well I met the King of the afterlife which is like the Ruler of Everything and he was really cute--" Jason says distant in his own world

"Theres a afterlife?" Superman asks casually appearing beside the emotionally wrecked family

"Yea its pretty cool. So I start flirting a bit with the guy and we hit it off, I now im his zombie ghost knight boyfriend lover for all time. Oh and i got this sickass gun." Jason says with a happy grin

"That is a pretty sick gun." John Constantine nods

"I know right?" Jason chirps

"You wouldn't mind if I inspected--" John reaches his hand

Jason slaps it away, "Not a chance you soul whore. Y'know your basically the tax evasionist of the Ghost Zone right?"

John only sighs and leaves

"But yea so I'm like the ghost world equivalent to married with the king and became his knight and thats how I was able to stop that ghost guy." Jason reiterates as if explaining a simple question, "Y'guys get that?"

Tim is on the ground trying to decide whether; sobbing hysterically, interogating jason to find out all the things he doesn't want to know or sleeping would be a better use of his time.

Dick has decided to blame himself and has started to draft a reddit post in the middle of the street starting with "I (23 m) have a younger brother (19 m), who I used to resent but really regret now, he died and came back and doesn't even tell me about what goes on in his life anymore. How do I fix our--"

Damian is just staring at the gun and... Jason pushes it deeper in his holster and shifts to the side, better to be safe than sorry with this thieving shit.

As Jason adjusts his weaponry he hears Bruce sob in the background, "He didn't even invite me to the wedding! Am I that horrible of a father!"

Wonder Woman pats his shoulder reasuringly whilst the rest of the League seem to be trying to calm him down

Jason looks around tiredly at the mess he had created and decides fuck it

"Alright I'm heading out for the night, you guys get home safe!" He yells and without caring to listen to anyone and everyone voicing their confusion he zips open a green portal and stumbles in

He crashes down on an unbelievably comfortable bed

Danny blinks blearily before sending the young man a sleepy smile, "Hey Jay, what kept you up so long?"

Jason slipping under the blankets with a yawn says, "You would not believe the night I just had."

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Edit: UMM HII The fic is out now here!! you guys are awesome I'll post the new chapter 2 in a hot sec after editting ^^

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angelsmooches · 10 months

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★﹐going to bed angry．﹑

→ feat; satan x gn! reader

⠐ lucifer edition here! ⠐ mammon edition here!⠐ leviathan edition here!

synopsis: how would the brothers fall asleep after an argument with their s/o? (satan edition)

wc: 1,699

genre: fluff

warnings: none!

a/n: i legit could not think of a reason why satan would be mad at his s/o. like even though he’s the avatar of wrath, he’ll always make sure to keep himself grounded when with his s/o to make sure he doesn’t lash out at them when he’s angry <//3 he’s such a gentleman

feedback is greatly appreciated! <3

❥ satan ; the anxious one.

satan’s ultimate dream has finally come true.

in an effort to make amends and keep the growing bond between the two brothers thriving, lucifer ultimately decided to lift his ban on satan keeping a cat. however, lucifer implemented a strict rule to take its place.

“you are to have one cat, and one cat only,” lucifer had told him. he didn’t want a repeat of what happened before the ban was in action... mountains of cats hoarded in satan’s bedroom, covering every square inch of it... he still shudders at the memory. lucifer didn’t know how satan was able to move around in that room.

satan, for the first time in a while, felt gratitude towards his brother. the first person he told about this was his dear human, rambling on and on about how difficult it would be to take one cat and one cat only, sniffling at the thought of countless cats out there who wouldn’t be able to take shelter in his room. he must make his decision wisely, and he trusted you to make the decision with him.

“um... what about a black shark cat?” you had suggested, sprawled out on satan’s bed while he paced around the cluttered room.

“that’s a good one,” he paused his pacing for a brief moment, resuming it again. “but they have really sharp teeth. what if it chews on my books?”

“you’re right.. hellfire ragdoll?”

satan stopped again, deep in thought. you resisted the urge to laugh. he was really taking this seriously.

“no... they require lots of love and attention and they get bored very easily. i’m afraid i won’t be able to tend to its needs while i’m away at RAD.”

satan took a seat next to you, the two of you pondering silently when a lightbulb when off.

“why don’t you just adopt the stray you like so much? sir cat, is that what his name is?” you thought about it for a couple more seconds, pleasantly surprised when satan took your face in his hands, pressing a grateful smooch to your lips.

“you are an absolute genius. i’ll be right back, i need to go look for sir cat. will you inform lucifer for me? love you!” he called over his shoulder, eagerly stumbling out the door.

sir cat nestled himself comfortably in satan’s lap, the two of you laying side by side, satan giving his newfound companion his undivided attention while you readied yourself for bed.

“you really adore that cat, don’t you?” you mused, kissing his cheek while settling into the purple sheets beside him. sir cat rose from satan’s lap to lay down on yours, staring at you with bright, intelligent eyes.

satan was delighted. “look at that, he’s taken a liking to you already. well, who wouldn’t?” he smiled, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. he cuddled up closer, sighing contentedly when you rested your head against his chest. he loved the warmth you gave off.

you rolled your eyes, nuzzling deeper into your demon’s chest. slowly, your brain began fading into unconsciousness...

satan poked your cheek. “darling? would you mind watching sir cat tomorrow..? i need to stay at RAD for a student council meeting. i’d greatly appreciate it.”

“goodnight, satan,” you grumbled.

“... is that a ye—”

“yes.”

oh, no no no no no...

crap, what have you done?

sir cat had been under your watchful supervision, just as satan requested. the two of you snoozed, ate, and lounged about, wondering when beloved satan would return. sir cat pawed at satan’s window, his meowing growing progressively louder.

“i know, i know. you miss him too, don’t you?” you murmured, taking the feline into your arms and rubbing its ears. sir cat allowed himself to be pampered before trotting back to the window, looking out, then looking back at you.

“would you like me to open the window?” you walked over to where sir cat sat, gently unlocking the hatches and pushing it open, a gust of a fresh breeze filling the room. it was awfully warm in satan’s room. maybe that’s why sir cat wanted the window open..

then, in a flash of white fur, sir cat launched himself out of the room. holy shit?! you leaned out the window, hoping, praying, that you wouldn’t see sir cat smushed like a pancake. you breathed a shaky sigh of relief when sir cat emerged from the bushes, staring back up at you with those same intelligent eyes.

“sir cat! no, no, get back here! please? hey!” sir cat ran off into the house of lamentation’s garden, his bright fur dissolving into the green shrubbery. what were you going to tell satan?

speak of the devil, and the devil shall appear. satan walked into the room, loosening his tie.

“oh, my love, the student council meeting was absolutely... exhausting..?.. what are you doing?” he inquired, his eyes moving from the open window, to your body halfway out of it, to the rest of his room. “where is sir cat? i need to relax, and i’d like to do it with him.”

you hesitantly turned to look at your lover, your eyes looking everywhere but the demon in front of you. “satan... i’m so, so sorry... sir cat was.. meowing and he wanted the window open and i just... i thought he wanted fresh air and he.. jumped out..”

satan visibly paled, walking over to the window in quick strides and looking out.

“he’s not dead! i should’ve clarified that... he ran off into the garden,” you stood back, giving satan space. he stood, motionless, staring out of the window, before turning back to you. he tasted the warm, bitter feeling of rage on his tongue.

“i can’t— you— you absolute— why would—” satan wanted to say a number of things, something, anything, to get this horrible taste out of his mouth. as much as he wanted to, he couldn’t. he wouldn’t. not to you. satan kept a hand over his mouth, leaning against the wall for support. you stood there silently, unsure whether to stay or leave.

finally, satan cleared his throat. “MC, would you please.. leave? i need my space as of now.”

silently, you obeyed, closing the door. you heard the thunderous sound of something breaking as you walked away.

you couldn’t remember the last time you slept in your room. you were so used to the scattered mess of satan’s room that your room looked strangely.. empty without all those books laying around. you gingerly made your way to the unused mattress. it was stiff. and cold. most likely a result from being unused.

the blankets were also cold. slowly, you got yourself settled in, when a knock so soft sounded at the door you almost didn’t know if someone was actually there or not. you worried it might’ve been lucifer, who would surely scold you if he saw you awake at this hour. you quickly closed your eyes and feigned sleep, your breathing deep and exaggerated.

“MC?” that wasn’t lucifer’s voice. it was satan’s. “what are you doing in here?”

you sat up, nervously fidgeting with the sheets. “um... i wasn’t sure whether or not you wanted me to sleep with you tonight or if you needed space, so i just.. decided to stay here, i guess.”

satan shook his head, pulling back your sheets and climbing into the space beside you. “i don’t want space anymore, love. i’m sorry for my outburst.” an awkward silence settled over the two of you. “...may i.. hold you?”

you nodded slightly, satan’s arms almost instantly snaking their way around your waist, nuzzling into the crook of your neck. his warm breath tickled your skin. satan had always been a major cuddler. he wanted his hands on you all day, every day. he said it made him feel more secure when he was touching you. it was almost like he was afraid to let you out of his sight, out of his grasp.

“i’m.. nervous,” he mumbled against your neck. “nervous for sir cat. i hope nothing unfortunate happens to him...”

slowly, you rubbed his back. it was warm, comforting. satan melted further into your body. “i’m sure he’ll be fine. he was a stray, wasn’t he? he must know his way around the streets.”

“you’re right.. but, we weren’t able to get a collar for him today. what if someone finds him and doesn’t realize that he belongs to someone?” he fretted. his grip on you increasingly became tighter and tigher.

you couldn’t help but feel more guilty about this situation. satan cared deeply for this cat, and you felt like you were the main cause of his disappearance. “sir cat loves you, satan. he’ll find his way back, i’m certain.”

satan sighed once, pulling back to gaze intently into your eyes. “you’re certain of this?”

“i’m certain,” you repeated, fondly pinching his cheek.

satan’s anxious frown faded into a subtle smile. he pressed a kiss to your nose. “..thank you. you say the words i want to hear the most. and.. another thing,” he cupped your cheek, placing another kiss. “i need you to know i don’t blame you for sir cat’s disappearance. if i were you, i most likely would’ve done the same thing. i love you, MC. i don’t blame you.”

it felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted from your stomach. satan’s eyes were so filled with reverence, with admiration, you wondered how you could ever think that he would hold a grudge against you.

“how about you and i go on a little search and rescue for sir cat? we can make flyers and post them around the streets,” you suggested, satan resting comfortably on your chest.

“i would like that. thank you, love.”

“hey, belphie, where did you get that cat?” beelzebub peered over at his twin, who was currently curled up in a ball with an identical sleeping ball of fluff perched on top of him.

“..hmm? oh, i dunno. i found him wandering outside the garden, and then he just started following me. i’m surprised lucifer hasn’t said anything about it.”

“how odd.”

i’m sorry for the delay ( ╥ω╥ ) my wifi unexpectedly has been out for the last couple of days,, but it has returned! hope you enjoyed!

#obey me #obey me game #obey me shall we date #obey me x reader #obey me x you #obey me x gn!reader #gn reader #satan #obey me satan #obey me satan x reader #satan x reader #satan is such a sucker for cats bro #he jus like me fr #fuckin love cats

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