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the-guilty-writer · 1 year

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Criminal Minds PRIDE Fic Challenge!

Here we go! First writing challenge ever and I'm even more excited about the theme. During June I ask fic writers to challenge themselves a little bit by writing a piece that is LGBTQ+ inclusive!!! Don't let the topic intimidate you; If you want to participate, but don't know where to start, there are prompts to help. All the fics will be collected in a Masterlist that will be avalible by July 1st.

Note: if you have accessibility issues with this post (or any of my posts!) let me know and I can send you the information in an accessible format.

Prompts and rules are under the cut!

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These prompts are only ideas to help get you started! You can write any LGBTQ+ centered fic you want! Feel free to modify any of the more specific prompts to your liking.

Prompts:

Character coming out to their friends/family/the team.

Character's found family is more supportive than biological family when they come out.

Characters go to a pride parade/festival/event!

Characters discuss queer coding in media.

Character(s) explains their new, queer relationship to a child.

Character 1's child comes out to them. They go to Character 2 to ask what they wish their parents would have done.

Character 1 is having an identity crisis (gender or sexuality). They go to Character 2 for help.

Character 1 is confident about their identity. Character 2 isn't, so they ask for some advice.

Character 1 takes Character 2 to a gay bar for the first time to act as their wingman/wingwoman/wingperson.

Character 1 is unsure if they're attracted to or envious of Character 2's confidence in their identity.

Character has been dating Morgan, but realizes they're not attracted to men. He isn't sure how he ended up in this situation twice, but it's the perfect opportunity for him to play matchmaker for his ex girlfriends.

Character comes out to the team (or it's just pride month) and Penelope goes a bit overboard with decorations.

For the writers who are intimidated by this topic or unsure if they can write it: write something with GN!reader. It's less intimidating than you think, and it can make someone's day to be able to read a fic they might otherwise not relate to!

Bi and Pan Prompts:

Character 1 has always thought they were straight, but they realize their feelings for their best friend, Character 2, are more than platonic.

Character 1 is in a straight passing relationship and worries about the visibility of their queer identity. Their partner is incredibly supportive in helping them express themselves.

(NSFW) What does Emily really do during a sin to win weekend?

Trans and Nonbinary Prompts:

Character 1 gives Character 2 a gender affirming haircut.

Hotch teaches Character how to shave.

JJ teaches Character how to do make up.

Character finds themselves needing gender affirming clothes. Rossi makes sure they have the best of the best.

(NSFW) Character 1 gifts Character 2 gender affirming lingerie and it gives them quite the confidence boost.

Aro and Ace Prompts:

Character 1 keeps trying to set up Character 2 with people/telling them to find someone to help ease their stress. Character 2 has had enough of it.

Character has a monthly spike in libido and it makes them question their identity. Spencer tries to help with a ramble about science (NSFW add on: and a few other ways).

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Rules:

The fic can reader insert, OC, character x character, general fic, etc. as long as the character(s) is from Criminal Minds (yes, even the ones I don't write for).

Fics can be any genre and can be platonic or romantic in nature... and yes, this includes smut (I know, I know my brand is ruined. Oh well). You must be 18+ if you are going to submit smut. You all know I love platonic fics very much if not more!

You can write something new or dig up something you've already written! I'm also happy to add on fics that are sent to me after the masterlist is posted.

Tag me in your fic or message me the link. Please list the ship, content warnings, and have a 1-2 sentence summary of your piece! If you have multiple pieces, you can submit a mini masterlist.

Be kind and respectful! Reach out to me if you have any concerns. This blog is a safe space!

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Thank you to @imagining-in-the-margins for the support and for sending some of the prompts from discord! (and telling me it's safe to tag @foxy-eva for this too)

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liliallowed · 2 months

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I wish all the trans people who come across this post a happy trans visibility day! you're valid. trans fem. trans masc. genderqueer. bi gender. genderfluid. Agender. non-binary. demi gender. genderqueer. xinogender... gender none-conforming.

I tried listing all I could think of... if I didn't list you here then I apologize I didn't mean to exclude you on purpose. gender isn't black and white. it's an entire sea of colors. not just a gradient but also the hue. the light intensity and sometimes it's even beyond our immediate perception in between ultraViolet and infrared. there's electro magnetic waves even beyond what we see. there's more colors...

like... I'm trying to say... you're all valid. and I love this beautiful colorful landscape of diverse identities. it's genuinely beautiful. accept and love yourselves.

those who don't feel "trans enough" you're valid. I personally feel that too tbh as a demigirl-nonbinary.

to those who are still questioning? completely valid.

#trans #happy trans visibility day!#i love you all

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cowboyjen68 · 2 years

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Hello and happy Lesbian day!

I've just discovered your blog, and I'm so happy i did!

My country is Quite homophobic, so are my relatieves and even many of my peers. Sometimes i feel very lonely, especially considering that i've never met another lesbian in the wild (and i've been around for 20+ years!), not even to mention butches

However, you give me hope and the thought of growing up to be as inspirational (at least in the looks) for younger generations as you are warms my heart. Thank you for sharing your life and being who you are!

Even though being gnc and a lesbian can be hard sometimes, i am really happy with the way i am and i wish everyone felt that way about themselves too

I am glad you found me as well!!

The Western World makes in hard enough to be a lesbian, expecially a visible on, ie butch or gnc or a maculine woman. To exist in places where it is truly dangerous and punishment is doled out by both society and the government is almost beyond my comprehension since I have not experienced that to any degree.

I think often of my friends who exist in other counties like Iran, and how much effort they put into being as unnoticed as possible. I hope for them to someday to have a place where they can thrive and be surrounded by the support and love of other lesbian, bi women and even some family members who reject the teachings of their own culture when it comes to gay people.

Even in my part of the world, I pushed back hard against the idea that I was a lesbian or that my masculinity was permanent, an innate and intregal part of me. I tried to think of being "butch" as a passing phase, a lingering aspect of Tomboyhood that would fade as I matured. I questioned my interests, my actions, my clothing and my connection with other women. Was I broken? Was I supposed to be a boy and something got crossed or messed up? Why could i not just like what girls are supposed to like?

Then I listened to other girls, and women, and realized that many of them were playing a game. Pretending to love what our society said they were supposed to in order to garner the support and rewards that come with conforming. It just so happened that my very phyical presence was not ever going to fit in. It was not as simple as putting on a dress, because THAT made things even more obvious.

Once I learned the word butch and met lesbians of all ages who talked about how great it was to be one, to hear other women say they "look for the butch in the room as a safe person" I started to think of myself as unique but not "not like other girls".

I want to be that beacon in the world to others, expecially other lesbians and butches who don't see us in "the wild". Who otherwise feel isolated, alone and like a fringe element of society because they see no others who can relate to their experiences.

I often write with 14 year old me in mine. What did I need to see?? What truths about being a lesbian would have been benefitial for me to love who I am earlier?

I am doing my best and my promise is to be as honest and open as possible, even when things are hard to hear or not the anwer people want.

I am so glad you love and embrace yourself in a place where you have to be your own cheerleader, for now. I wish for you to find support from others in your life someday and I have every hope that it will happen.

(photo me in a dress, trying to NOT look butch---FAIL. And WHY did I think puffy shoulder were a good idea??) Circa 1984

#lesbian #butch #masculine woman

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luxgalador · 2 years

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Hey Lux, I normally don't message people but I wanted to share this, since I saw you say you got some mean messages recently.

I've been following you since like 2015 youtube, back when I was a closeted lil bi girl looking for representation. Back then I remember you were one of the only openly bi people on the platform. You made me feel comfortable in my own skin, heart & mind, so im forever grateful for that. And now, seeing you transition on tumblr, seeing you becoming comfortable and empowered in YOUR skin heart & mind, has just made me so happy for you!!! You look so beautiful and are a genuinely kind and creative soul in my eyes. Much love

I'm gonna cry for real

Thank you

I was so lost back then, but I loved the way I chose to seek answers to all my questions. I want you and anyone else reading this to know how seriously I took my visibility back then. It was and is still so precious to me. There weren't many people doing what I was doing, thus I was kinda thrust into the forefront of the YouTube bi community despite not really understanding a lot of things.

Thank you for allowing me to learn with you all.

I'm gonna be honest, once I realized that I was a lesbian about a year ago and not bi after all, I did feel a little bit that I was betraying my own past, the bi+ community, and anyone who ever looked to me as a source of bi visibility from back then. After all the videos debunking bi stereotypes and misconceptions, I felt guilt over the fact that it actually for me was a phase and that I actually was confused.

I'm glad that didn't last long. The whole point of those videos was to encourage curiosity of the self, to ask questions, and to embrace whatever answers we come to as our truth, whether that truth lasts a moment or a lifetime.

Thank you for trusting me back then. I was a patchwork person held together so tenuously by a relentless pursuit of understanding born out of a need for survival in those days. The very fabric of the reality of my existence felt so warped and unstable, at risk of tearing entirely. I had to learn and understand and speak to as many pieces of truth I could hold onto or else I'd fall apart entirely. The people who stuck around for what I was doing, who sent me messages then and occasionally now, are so responsible for my existing on the other side of that era into the present.

I'm in awe of every one of you. I'm in awe of all of us. How beautiful that we've all grown up so much.

#word vomit

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showmethesneer · 8 months

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I just want to say this to someone and you are my most visibly bisexual mutual. Don't post it if you don't want to.

I didn't figure out I was bi until I was already married and since I made a vow and neither of us are cool with poly, I'll always present heterosexual.

I don't feel like a "real" member of the queer community and I probably never will unless one of us dies (I'm happily married). I worry people will accuse me of trying to falsely claim membership. I still read so much denial and exclusion of bisexual people. It's hard enough that I was brought up so conservative that I wasn't able to recognize who I really was, I don't need people telling me to my face that what I know to be true isn't real.

I feel like there must be lots of people like me, who because we loved the "right" gender too, never really questioned the days we spent intensely crushing on the "wrong" one. People who won't speak out because we present as straight and neither side seems willing to welcome us.

I know my life is much easier than someone who is visibly in a sexual/gender minority, but the same forces that discriminate against them, made me lose the chance to ever explore my own sexuality. That loss is real to me, even if I'm happy.

I've been holding on to this one because I wanted to post it today on National Coming Out Day.

Thank you so much for sharing this with me. I love you. I am so grateful that you consider me a safe space to trust with this loss that complicates your pride.

It's not a competition. You know that you're bi. That's your identity. This is your community. Everyone has a different struggle and different pain. Your struggle to claim your rightful place in this community is valid. And it sucks. And it's hard for you, no matter how happy your marriage is.

You're bi. And that's wonderful, that you are so happily married. It's a beautiful thing. And at the end of the day, this is all about love. I'm so happy that you found love. So happy that you figured out a label and identity that makes you feel the most authentically you. And so sad for your sense of loss. But I am here, I'm queer, and we'll get through this together 💗💜💙

#biphobia #national coming out day #lgbtqia #queer #bi pride #bisexual

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indri-on-ao3 · 2 years

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When you get this you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. Then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool)❤️❤️❤️

This got long. TLDR: science, friends, helping, art, queer. I want to follow up with 5 things I don't like about myself, but that is against the spirit of the ask.

I’m a pretty good applied scientist. I have a reasonable grasp of the relative importance of things, but also an ability to focus on detail when it’s needed—the combination is a useful one. These days I’m more of a science facilitator. I talk with people who need science done, work out the critical and achievable questions, find researchers with the right skills and the funding bodies looking for projects, then persuade everyone to work together. It can take years of patience and frustration, but when it happens it’s fantastic. I love it.

I have a lot of friends, many of whom I’ve known a long time now, all of whom are superb people. This means a lot to me, as I had few friends at school. I was still wary when I started making friends at uni, uncertain as to whether they actually liked me or just found me useful or inoffensive. Eventually, the evidence that they liked me for myself became insurmountable and I had to accept it. What’s more, I keep making friends: there are many compatible and fascinating people out there and I keep finding them. But I’ve retained the core friends from my late teenage years; we’ve seen so much together and most of us are still close.

I’ve been able to help and mentor junior scientists since I became a bit more established. Sometimes I introduced them to a field they came to love. Other times, they faced serious—undeserved—difficulties and I could support them, like helping them find a new job. And once an excellent person had to leave science for the sake of her mental health, and all I could do was say that her life and happiness was worth more than whatever projects she was working on.

I’ve become a great supporter of amateur and semi-pro artists, especially local ones. I give substantial financial support to a studio for diverse visual artists. I regularly turn up and pay money at tiny cupboard venues to see comedians, musicians, cabaret artists, acrobats and drag queens. I go to art exhibition openings in cafés and the backs of sheds. I used to edit an amateur fiction magazine. Online, I give kudos to AO3 authors and reblog Tumblr commentary and art. All of these forms of self-expression are worthy and fascinating, if sometimes a little raw. Their value under capitalism is not an indicator of their artistic value. Wanting to make and share something is a fundamental human activity and I am here to be your audience, except when I’m busy making something myself.

I persevere in being queer. When I was a young adult, I was unable to find any support for bi+ people—my identity was invalid and my peers invisible (even when, as we later discovered, we had been standing right next to each other). Then I got into a long-term relationship with a lovely different-sex partner, and I thought my straight-passing privilege outweighed the heterosexism and biphobia. But it did not. I now know that bi+ people in straight-looking relationships have terrible statistics for mental health and life outcomes: we’re sometimes missing something vital. I found myself gravitating to hobbies and venues where the gender of my partner didn’t matter, for who wants to feel that their welcome is conditional? And now that times have changed a bit, I’m trying to be more visible and I’ve joined a committee to help others and I’m still working out what more to do. And yes, I joined Tumblr so I could obsessively reblog pictures of Loki and the Valkyrie and sometimes other bi+ pop culture characters because it comforts me somehow, I’m retroactively trying to tend the hapless teenager I once was. I always knew I was real, but it still shocks and shakes me when someone else acknowledges it. I scared but I’m still moving.

#i got an ask!

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shaftking · 2 years

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https://at.tumblr.com/thefrogginbullfish/happy-bisexual-day-of-visibility/cwsb01l7ykpm

Found this comic about biphobia and I find it strange how the pan orb thing is presented as the bi ally in the end due to how contradictory that is. Then again the comic has a bunch of other questionable aspects to it (q slur, more than 2 genders, pro nb, etc) so I don’t really take it seriously. Tbh it’s just the overall lack of self awareness here that really baffles me.

They really want to keep pushing that they’re being allies to bi people while they push the kind of rhetoric that keeps bisexuality stigmatized. This whole comic is a mess and honestly way too wordy. Like get to the point.

#ask

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sparrowmoss · 11 months

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in the past couple days i watched 1. the series The Midnight Club, and 2. the movie Do Revenge. and i thought they both were super good like !!!!! both media with main characters who are POC and ALSO lgbt ??$:);!; it feels so rare but. if anyone is interested i will like summarize and content warning them below

the midnight club is not happy feel good media to be clear it is more geared toward teenagers i think but deals with some seriously heavy stuff because every single main character has been diagnosed with a terminal illness and multiple of them do die through the series. its about all these terminally ill teens living in a hospice care house together and bonding/coping/passing time by coming up with horror stories to tell each other. the horror stories are acted out by the same actors so its really cool. obviously lots of dark topics like cancer and HIV/AIDS and death and hopelessness vibes but also empowerment for those kids. additional content warnings i can remember rn would be for discussion of suicide and self harm, murder in a lot of the midnight club horror stories, cult stuff and the like vulnerability and manipulation that goes into cult recruitment, disturbing imagery like corpse people and jumpscares and hallucinations (?) and unreality and stuff i guess idk. it was SO good. main character is a black girl and there is also a gay black girl and a gay black guy in the main cast as well as lots of other POC characters and some other lgbt characters

do revenge is SUPER DIFFERENT but i thought would also be more for teenager audience, though now i dont think so as much because like those high schoolers were doing coke and ketamine for gods sake it was insane. i thought i knew what was going on but there was a plot twist that i fucking never ever saw coming and my jaw literally was wide open atp but i wont spoil that ! its generally about two girls who meet and decide to help each other get revenge on two people who seriously wronged them. and in the process of that, shit gets so wildly beyond out of hand. everything spirals out of their control so fucking fast. it was hilarious and upsetting and shocking. so good. for that the content warnings i think would just be like… shitty guy cheating, revenge porn stuff, drugging people without their knowledge or consent, some shitty stuff is done to someone who presumably is a lesbian but shes rich and white so she ends up fine, car accident scene that was a little scary, ummmm general fucked up shitty asshole teenager shenanigans by which i mean cruel actions and questionable priorities and general lack of awareness for how characters only care about themselves ??? idk if that would bother someone nfbdjfndf anyway one of the two mains is a lesbian and the other is implied bi and is a POC and theres a bunch of other POC and other lgbt characters

and both of them have mild emetophobia warning scenes with only very fake puking sounds and nothing actually visibly shown just that super fake audio like i have pretty bad emetophobia and cannot handle Seeing it but i was totally fine. i would tend to rec the movie more just because it was a happy ending and like. everyone in it was not terminally ill and dying. no one died. they did a shitload of drugs but they were okay

#my media review era or something

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daydreamsandcrashingwaves · 1 year

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“To be visibly Queer is to choose your happiness over your safety”

It’s pride month and this is the only space I feel save being honest about MY experience. I knew in middle school I liked girls, this was before I determined I was NB. I was scared, a bully in my gym class often put me down by calling me a lesbian, I did not know what it was really, fragments maybe. I knew my Uncle was gay, I knew that was something my family accepted and I never knew anything different, but no one explained what it meant to be a lesbian. Growing up lesbian and gay were the popular slurs. In middle school I played traveling volleyball, it was what I considered my main sport, I was always on the outside socially because I tried very hard at practice and the rest of my team wouldn’t meet my energy as they considered it a leisure sport to engage in during their off season. There was always this one girl who was nice to me when we’d talk, I had a crush on a girl in my friend group from school (Not volleyball), and I wasn’t sure what to do. I talked with girl and she actually gave me great advice and I followed it the next day at school, didn’t work out but thats okay. So I come home from school that next day feelin good and I walk into my mother screaming into the phone, I don’t remember that part but I know when she saw me she dismissed the person on the phone, came marching up to me (which with her I’m so mad face that wasn’t great) and asked if I’m a lesbian. Being young and afraid of this big bad word that was an insult I said no! I just liked this One Girl, I still liked boys. Turns out the girl not only told the whole team and all their parents had been harassing my mom all day. She looked at me, asked if I loved volleyball, I said of course I do! She then looked at me and said “Then you’re going to practice tomorrow, fuck ‘em”. That was my last (? or second to last) season on the court. I regret not looking for another team to this day. I can’t tell you how many couples want to bring me in their bed for their pleasure, Or you turn down some guy at the bar and they take it as a challenge and maybe they can now have two girls instead of one. It’s dehumanizing and gross. Being queer has always held me apart from most. Being known is truly difficult.

One of my mutuals on another platform posted the quote at the top this week, and I have some mixed feelings about it. To Clarify the feelings are not about my mutual but the quote itself that was posted on twitter. (I found it on their page and quoted it word for word but I’m horrible with links so if you want to see it I’ll do my best or just search it I guess lol.) This person is someone I hold a lot of respect for in my community. They are a transperson, are very visible as a transperson with their partners. With the dangerous conditions in America right now for our community, transpeople especially, trans poly people even more so. The strength to follow the heart when things are tough, persevering, it is irreplaceable. It did get me thinking though, and I have a lot of questions. What does it even mean to be visibly queer? Is there a definition? Is it a box to check off to feel “included”?

To Me: For pride month it’s important to support the things you believe in, for yourself and others. Sharing individual and personal struggles to bring awareness and education during this month is great! I always learn so much this time of year. I will say this though, I don’t like such generalized statements. This quote is fine for specific groups, but doesn’t always apply to the community as a whole and I hope I can properly articulate why I think this. First queer people are diverse! A lot of people in the community ‘pass’ as cisgendered heterosexual couples but could be bi or pan or ace (or closeted). The other thing that comes to mind is you could be single! I am! and maybe that is why this bothered me so much, both of these apply to me. I am nonbinary and have been told and done my own research to tentatively know I am technically part of the transcommunity although I never felt I truly “count” whatever that means, and would not label myself that way, the statement felt almost criticizing??... I’m not sure. I’m as plain jane as they come. Dark long hair, nail appointments and feminine clothes are being reincorporated into my space from what I couldn’t explore in childhood. I do pass as cis. and I know how important those kinda statements are so I’m not saying it’s inherently wrong.... I guess what I’m trying to say to you and myself is you don’t have to be visible to count. We all have different challenges and what I experience will be different from you. I want to use this post to personally recognize the groups that may get overlooked or receive a not so warm welcome because we all know our own commuity can be very exclusive. Bi, poly, ace and pan people get flack from both sides, straight and queer a like. Maybe that’s why it’s taken me two days to get this out on a page. During these trying times I believe we must speak out for others, not just ourselves. We are here, We are Queer, We are united. No one gets left behind. We must strive to be open-minded and curious to our differences. If you got this far thank you for taking the time to read this. Happy Pride Month my friends!

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averykedavra · 3 years

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[ID: Fifteen edits of the Bugs bunny “I wish all a very pleasant day” meme. They are edited to include the trans flag on his left side. They read:

“I wish all trans men, trans women, nonbinaries, genderfluids, demiboys and demigirls, agenders, and more a very pleasant trans visibility day.” This edit includes the flags for the identities listed.

“I wish all straight, gay, lesbian, bi, pan, ace, aro, omni, polyamorous, etc. trans people a very pleasant trans visibility day.” This edit includes the flags for the identities listed.

“I wish all intersex people who identify with the trans label a very pleasant trans visibility day.” This edit includes the intersex flag.

“I wish all autistic, ADHD, or otherwise neurodivergent trans people a very pleasant trans visibilitiy day.” This edit includes the red words “(happy autism acceptance month! light it up red)”

“I wish all Jewish, Muslim, Christian, Hindu, and other religious trans people a very pleasant trans visibility day.”

“I wish all trans POC, especially Black and indigenous trans people, a very pleasant trans visibility day.” This edit includes the inclusive LGBT poc flag, as well as a trans flag with a brown and black fist.

“I wish all disabled or chronically ill trans people a very pleasant trans visibility day.”

“I wish all fat trans people, hairy trans people, and trans people who don’t “pass” a very pleasant trans visibility day.”

“I wish all it/its pronoun users, neopronouns users, and people who use pronouns that don’t “match” their gender a very pleasant trans visibility day.”

“I wish all trans people with little or no gender dysphoria a very pleasant trans visibility day.”

“I wish all trans people who are in the closet a very pleasant trans visibility day.”

“I wish all trans people who haven’t transitioned and/or don’t plan to a very pleasant trans visibility day.”

“I wish all questioning trans people/people who aren’t sure if they’re trans a very pleasant trans visibility day.”

“I wish all people who don’t use labels for themselves a very pleasant whatever you’re comfy with.”

“I wish all trans people a very pleasant you are wonderful, valid, and loved <3” /End ID]

heard it was trans day of visibility

(edit: my wording of “trans POC, especially Black and indigenous trans people” was poor, and i apologize. i wish all trans POC a pleasant trans visibility day, and i wish all trans BIPOC a pleasant trans visibility day.)

#trans positivity #trans day of visibility #lgbt positivity #avery's argot #long post #ilyall <3333

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seraphic-sapphic-safehaven · 2 years

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Happy Lesbian Day of Visibility to all the lovely lesbians out there!

I'm talking 'bout...

Cis lesbians, trans lesbians, and nonbinary lesbians

Bi lesbians, pan lesbians, ply lesbians, and omni lesbians

Old lesbians and young lesbians

Disabled, neurodivergent, and mentally ill lesbians

Lesbians of color

Fat lesbians

Questioning and closeted lesbians

Butch, stud, futch, stem/stemme, and fem/femme lesbians

Acespec and arospec lesbians

Lesbians who use they/them, he/him, neopronouns, nounself pronouns, and more

And all other lesbians! Y'all are wonderful, stunning people, and I love y'all so much! You make the lesbian community so diverse, and you are so important and vital to this community! I just wanna thank y'all for existing. You truly make the lesbian community and the overall queer community amazing! You make our communities and the world a better place. Y'all are truly a blessing to this earth ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 Have a an amazing LDOV, y'all!

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kikithebooknerd · 3 years

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Happy Bi Visibility Day 💓💜💙

Happy Bi Visibility Day to all the beautiful bisexual people!

Including the closeted bi's and those questioning if they are bi.

Your reminder that bisexuality is valid and beautiful ✌️ That bisexuals are part of the LGBTQ+ community!

#bisexuality #bi #biseuxal #bisexual #bisexual visibility day #lgbtq community #lgbtqia #lgbtq #lgbt #lgbt pride #lgbtqplus #lgbt rights #lgbtqiia+

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justfangirlthingies · 3 years

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Caught my eye (Corpse Husband x reader)

Soulmate AU: In which everyone has one eye in their own eye colour and one in the colour of their soulmate. However, when you are close to meeting each other, your vision will change to the soulmate's one, letting you know you are close. When your eyes meet they will change their colour to their original eye colour.

Word count: 4189 words

Warnings: cursing because that is automatically given when writing about Corpse

Another Soulmate AU from my Wattpad account let's go!

Staring into the camera were a pair of, colourwise mismatched, eyes, one iris a deep brown and the other one a shimmering (e/c).

It was not unusual for someone to have two different eye colours in one set of eyes, it simply meant one had yet to find their significant other.

Pressing record on your camera you let your eyes stay right in front of the lens for a second before rolling backwards on your chair, your torso now in frame as well "Hello all of you beautiful individuals! I'm (y/yt/n) and as always I welcome you here!" You waved at your camera, a warm and welcoming smile gracing your lips. "In case this is your first time stumbling over this channel" you paused a second and giggled "Hi, welcome to this chaos!" Slowly you neared the camera again "Leave while you still can" you whisper shouted into your microphone.

"No hold on don't leave please! I was just kidding" You joked at your camera.

A happy sigh escaped your mouth as you leaned back in your chair "Today is q & a time isn't it?" You wiggled your eyebrows at the blinking light in front of you "Well let's get to it then...hmm...lemme see. Youtubetrash asks 'how old are you (Y/n)?' Do you always have to ask that question guys?" You scold playfully "I'm 19, but I really don't get why this is so important to you that I have to answer it in every video, like do you want to know the exact amount of days and minutes? Will you stop asking it every goddamn time then?" You chuckled as you ran a hand through your (h/l), (h/c) hair. "Right, next question! SusanIsAFish wants to know which eye colour my own is. I can easily answer that with either 'both are' or 'hell if I know' I've always had two eye colours like how am I supposed to know." A grin spread on your face as you continued to interact with your community's questions...

"Alright alright these are the last two questions guys. Nightmaresscareme...honestly same" you laughed as you read the users name out aloud. When you calmed down again you cleared your throat and continued "Ahem, anyways they wanna know if I found my soulmate already and who it is....Do I look like I found my soulmate?" You asked smiling as you approached the recording device once again and pointed a finger at each eye. "I have no Idea who it is but maybe you find whoever it is because all of you people are little Sherlock's I swear, you find out everything." Laughter erupted from your throat once again as you pointed at your camera.

"Last but not least, (y/n)stan asks 'when will you collab with Jack again? The two of you promised to make a video or something together?' Woah calm down, honestly I don't even think he remembers that, it was years ago. How do you even remember that (y/n)stan? I swear to god that's exactly what I meant with ya'll being Sherlock's." You wiggled your eyebrows again "But if you do remember, Seán and you magically happen to see this video. What happened to our collab plans dude?" You giggled "Alrighty guys that's it for today's video. Stay awesome my dudes, dudettes and in betweens and I'll see ya in the next one!" You winked and waved before stopping your recording and going straight to editing your video.

Just as you were about to upload your piece of work, your phone rang, scaring you in the process and causing you to delete your video. You groan in frustration holding your head in your palms.

"This better be important..." you mumbled to yourself as you went to check your phone. Seriously?! It was a Twitter notification. You sighed and ignored it for now, saving your video was a priority right now.

After hours of retrieving and re-editing your footage you finally uploaded the video to the worldwide known platform and picked up your phone to see what Twitter wanted from you.

As you opened the app you saw that it was a private message from none other than Jacksepticeye. What a freaking coincidence you thought, a smile now appearing on your face as you read the message. All your frustration was gone and instead replaced with confusion and laughter. "What kind of message is that?" You muttered as you shook your head laughing.

Jacksepticeye:

Hey (Y/n) what colours are your eyes again?

(Y/T/N):

What kinda question is that? Lmao

Jacksepticeye:

Just answer my question dum dum :)

■

A raven haired male was on a discord call with his online friend that he had just revealed his face to. "Jack what are you doing now?" The young man laughed at his friend.

"Hold on, I'm texting someone."

The dark haired man sighed and waited "that's not very polite you know" he smiled.

"Pschh I'm finding your soulmate, what's impolite about that?" The Irish man looked up from his phone and back at his Computer screen. Only to start laughing at the other's reaction.

"Corpse? You good?" He kept on laughing at the dumbfounded expression on Corpse's face.

Who as a reaction turned off his camera, suddenly feeling very insecure towards his friend again.

"What do you mean?" His deep voice asked cautious.

"Don't worry man I'm not leaking your face or any info to anyone" he smiled reassuringly. "Your eyes just reminded me of someone else with the same or very similar ones. At least I hope I remember their eye colours correctly" He rambled on.

"Oh..." came from the other line, which was now more quiet than usual.

Seán noticed the change in his friend's behaviour and immediately stopped what he was doing. "I'm sorry Corpse..." the Irishman scratched bis neck awkwardly "I should've asked you first"

"I-it's fine. I just can't imagine anyone wanting to be my soulmate" the male sighed.

His friend flashed an encouraging smile at the screen "Dude! Anyone would be happy to be your soulmate. I know I would be! You are great, I know you probably don't believe me but I mean it bud. Besides, your soulmate is your other half, it's like they were made for you"

One could hear a sigh coming from the black screen as Corpse turned his camera back on, his pink tinted cheeks now showing up on screen as well. He had put his eye-patch on, leaving only his brown eye visible. "And you're really sure?" He asked quietly.

"100% sure! Anyone with half a brain would know how lovable you are" the blue eyed male grinned. "Besides, the person I'm thinking of also has a YouTube channel, I think I still owe them a collab, sooo I could maybe invite them to play some kind of-"

He cut himself off. "They answered!"

■

(Y/T/N):

Well they're like brown and (e/c), it's such a weird mix though.

Jacksepticeye:

Interesting.

Hey (Y/n), how about we do that collab? You could fly out and we meet up

(Y/T/N):

You still remember that? XD

Yeah sure I'd love that, I just had someone ask me about that collab today.

But seriously dude why are my eyes interesting to you all of a sudden? You found my soulmate or smth 🧐😂

Jacksepticeye:

😏😌🤭🤫

Right....

So when are you coming?

(Y/T/N):

Dude!

You literally just asked me if I even wanna come! Like come on, you think I've booked a flight already? Just like 10 minutes after you asked me to travel there?

Jacksepticeye:

As a matter of fact I don't just think so, I know it ;)

So when do I have the honors of picking your jet-lagged ass up at the airport?

(Y/T/N):

...

This weekend

Time skip

A happy sigh escaped your lips as you felt the plane reaching the ground of its destination. You swiftly grabbed your bag and left the plane to get the rest of your luggage.

A yawn escaped your mouth as you grabbed your stuff, staying awake during the whole flight probably wasn't your best idea, but you couldn't help it. To you it was simply impossible to fall asleep on a journey by plane.

Your eyes skimmed the airport as you were searching for your friend.

After a few minutes of looking around you decided to sit down and wait, he was probably still on his way to the airport.

Just as you decided to open up your phone you got smacked in the face... With a balloon? "What the hell?" You whispered as you were pulled up from your seat and embraced. "(Y/N)! Hey! I haven't seen you in forever"

You looked up a little confused as you reciprocated the hug. "Well hello to you too Seán"

He chuckled and grabbed one of your bags before dragging you with him. "How can you be so motivated and energetic?" You giggled and tried to keep up with your Irish friend. "That (Y/n), is simply because I'm not sleep deprived like you"

■

Setting up his stream was a curly haired nervous mess. He was always nervous when he had to stream. But today was somehow worse.

The half Mexican ran his fingers through his hair. It was just a game with friends right? However, he had never played this game before.

His nerves getting to him caused Corpse to cancel the idea of a stream. "I'll just be there and play along, that's fine too. I don't need to stream every time I'm playing a game with my friends..." he muttered to himself.

With a bottle of water beside him he started the game and went through the tutorial. "Man this game is fucking cute" he laughed before joining the discord call, just to be engulfed in a complete chaos of voices.

"Hey Corpse is here! Hi hi!" A Swedish voice boomed through his headphones along with the rest of the group greeting him. "Hey guys" he replied as he joined their server in the game. "So what are we doing? Why is no one starti-" the deep voice started but was cut of by someone else.

■

"HOLY FUCKING- Who the hell was that?! Hello by the way" The whole call erupted in laughter at the reaction of the (h/c) haired individual.

"Uhh hi, that was me" Corpse answered laughing as he scratched his head nervously "and you also just answered my question for me thank you, whoever you are" Everyone laughed once again.

"Okay but seriously who are you?" Dave asked.

"Jack! You said you told em that I'd join" you huffed as you glanced At your friend next to you, you were sharing one discord account for this call as you sat right next to each other and didn't want the quality of the call to go down because of an echo. Both of you streamed online on twitch.

"Whoops! I thought I did" he chuckled once more as he introduced you to the party. "Well then..." he coughed in an attempt to clear his throat "Drum-roll please! this is (Y/n), they came to visit me this weekend. (Y/n), that's Dave, Felix, Joel, PJ and Corpse."

"Hi" you said suddenly a little nervous because you thought everyone knew you'd join.

Luckily no one seemed to mind that you were here as they greeted you. In fact, they seemed ecstatic to meet you.

"So have any of you not played this before?" Pewds asked the group. "Uh yeah, me" Yours and the deep voice said simultaneously. "But I did the tutorial" Corpse added. "Well I didn't" you laughed. "Great then we're all set, shame on you though (Y/n)!" Seán shouted.

"Jeez man, you told me to skip it and I can hear you! I'm right next to you and not deaf in case you didn't know" you sassed back, causing laughter to bounce through your headset once more.

"(Y/n) and Corpse you two haven't played before that means you count as one person for the group things cause both of you are noobs and if you count as one we have even team numbers" The swede joked.

■

"We're the Meowfia" Jack laughed, starting off with his puns for this game.

(Y/n) snorted at that as everyone chose the animals of their teams. Corpse chose the cat with an eye-patch along with his team. "Maan this is peer pressure!" Your voice called out "lucky for me I like cats"

"That is the truth" the Irish voice boomed through the call once again, "I mean you should see, even their headphones have cat ears"

"I wanna see that!" Dave shouted.

"Can we see them in your cam Jack?" PJ asked.

"Not completely, they're streaming on Twitch though, its at (Y/YT/N) on Twitch and YouTube" Seán smiled as he pat your back.

"You can't just expose me like that!" The cute voice answered panicking.

"I gotta see that, hold on!" Felix shouted as he opened up your stream smirking as he followed you. "Corpse, they'll ruin your life" he continued as your cheeks flushed a bright red, suddenly feeling so exposed and put on the spot "why...why am I ruining his life?" You asked, cocking an eyebrow.

Corpse had also opened up your account as he stared in awe at the enchanting individual now on his computer screen. Were you the one Jack had meant? No it couldn't be.

"Well you see, he wrote a song about cat girls ruining his life. Right Corpse?" This statement made him come back to reality and quite flustered at that "Huh? What- ...ohhh uhm- uh- yeah" he responded in a stutter, the pale skin of his cheeks heating up and turning red.

"Corpse are you alright?" you asked, concern not only laced in your voice but also written all over your face, which he saw. This whole ordeal just made him blush more. There was a short pause "...Yeah.." the raven haired responded. But not even a second later a laugh erupted in the call "Did we just catch you right handed?" The voice belonged to Dave. "What do you mean?" Corpse asked confused. While he waited for a response from his friend, he started fiddling with his rings as he kept his eyes on (Y/N)'s stream which was still pulled up on his screen. "Well, did we catch you watching her stream?" Dave replied trying to hold in his laughter.

Your expression changed as your eyes went wide and you looked right at your camera "Is that true?" Your voice chimed in as a hint of pink spread across your cheeks, one of your eyebrows arched. "Well..." The man with the username 'CORPSE' cleared his throat "I had to see if Jack and Felix were speaking the truth..."

A smirk spread across your face "And? Were they honest?" you laughed as your Irish companion moved his face into the frame of your camera wiggling his eyebrows. The only answer you got to your question was silence before the deep voice continued "Alright let's start this game." Yet another laugh escaped your throat when you noticed the lack of a reply to your question. However, one could say that silence was an answer on its own.

■

The young guy sighed loudly after the game had ended, rolling back, away from his table, in his gaming chair he ran his hands through his curly hair. The game was fun, but it was exhausting for the man to concentrate on a game this long. Just as he was about to get up, turn all devices off and leave, he heard a familiar sound coming from his computer screen.

A discord call and video call at that was incoming from none other that Jacksepticeye. So, Corpse rolled forward in his chair again as he checked if his camera was turned off and covered. After reassuring himself that his face was hidden he accepted the call. "Hey whaddup?" He greeted his loud friend who immediately responded with a "Hey my man". His mismatched eyes widened as he looked at the screen, it was not only Jack on the call...they were there as well, a shy smile plastered on their face as they kept their eyes closed "Hey Corpse, tell me when your camera is off. Sean told me it might be on and I don't want you to accidentally expose yourself to me." "Oh yeah, it's off. You can open your eyes it's fine." Just as he finished his sentence their eyelids slowly fluttered open as they stared at the black screen and waved. There was no way to describe the feeling that went through him as he admired you in awe. He seemed starstruck and without thinking he blurted out "You have to visit San Diego sometime, but like soon"

Your eyes widened slightly not knowing how to respond to that "Umm...yeah I dunno, maybe someday?" Jack gasped dramatically "You never invited me over even though I'm the one you trusted enough to show your face to!"

Yet another time today, the male behind the black screen felt a blush grow on his face. "Well i-it's your fault for introducing me to your friend. And umm sorry if I was a bit too blunt there" He stuttered. "No it's fine. I'm a very spontaneous person ya know." You replied an embarrassed smile gracing your lips once more "But you could be a killer for all I know...sorry you probably hear that one a lot haha. Also, would you even be comfortable enough to meet up..." slowly you started drifting off with what you were saying. As soon as you realized you were trailing off of the topic at hand, you tried to get back to the conversation "ahem.. yeah, anyways as I was saying...someday sure. I mean...I am traveling around at the moment because I flew to Brighton. Maybe you know, we could get to know each other a bit better first" you smiled nervously as you replied.

"Ah yes...of course. Though I do have a question for you Seán. Is (Y/n) the one we spoke of a few days ago?" came back as a reply. He had a plan to gain their trust if they really were his suspected soulmate. The man next to (Y/n) nodded and gave a wink to the camera they used for the call. This action just confused you even more and it must have shown on your face because your loud friend started laughing at you. "Don't worry it was nothing bad" Jack reassured. "Hold on, is this about the random-" there was a lot of shuffling coming from the black screen. The noise had startled you a bit, causing you to stop mid sentence. "the random question about my eyes?" You continued your question, looking at that Irish friend of yours, but you didn't get a reply for there was another loud noise coming from Corpse's side of the screen. You shifted your attention back to the screen in front of you again just to be met with more shuffling and a sudden colour change of the screen. Your eyes widened as you saw a face only briefly for a split second before your vision suddenly changed. You looked around to see an unfamiliar room and as you saw the sight before your eyes you felt as though they were going to pop out of their sockets at any moment.

No...

No fucking way...

"Holy shit" you heard the words leave both your mouths. You just stared at the screen in front of you to see yourself, who apparently sat on the other side of the screen next to Seán. And you also saw the live view of a young man with black curly hair, dressed in black in a small window of the computer. You felt really dizzy all of a sudden and the light before your eyes went black briefly before returning to more used surroundings again.

Realisation dawned on you as you blinked a few times and spoke aloud "I-I just imagined that right? There's no way. C-Corpse you didn't happen to experience that right now, did-did you?"

"Holy fuck..." you heard a low mutter coming from the speakers.

Jack looked at you, eyebrows raised in confusion for a second before realization dawned on him and a knowing smirk appeared on his face as he shouted "CALLED IT!"

The two of you could not yet comprehend what was happening, let alone listen and realize what your mutual friend had to say.

After a few minutes of complete silence you tore your eyes away from the pen on Jack's desk, which had become the most interesting thing and perfect staring partner for the past minutes and shifted your gaze back to the young raven-haired individual before you, a small smile and a huge blush grazing your facial features as you spoke up, voice quiet and soft, but also full of nervousness "soo...umm...Corpse, are you gonna give me that address in San Diego?"

The question stood in the room for a few moments as silence engulfed you once again. Corpse's expression on his bright red face however, showed he was pondering."Y-yeah of course...sure...I-I'll text it to you if you give me that number of yours..." Then there was a pause. "Whe-When can I expect you then?"

This time it was your turn to think. "How about directly when you leave Brighton?" Jack chimed in. "But th-that's like in two days..." you stuttered in response. It was a nice idea and you did feel a pull to meet this handsome stranger as soon as possible. "Well yeah, that's the point is it not? I already checked for flights while you two where staring off somewhere....Sooo? Should I buy the ticket real quick? You can thank me later." Your mismatching eyes kept switching your gaze from your friend who had made this crazy suggestion and your apparent soulmate who now wore an eyepatch and was watching you expectantly while patiently awaiting your answer. A small sigh left your lips as you made your decision. When you tried to verbally answer though, your voice had left you, so you made eye-contact with the man also known as Corpse Husband, who had trusted you enough to reveal his face to you, and just gave him a small nod. He seemed to understand and gave you a reassuring smile.

"It's final then?" Seán, who had watched this whole ordeal unfold asked smiling happily as you just nodded once again "Y-yeah"

■

Two days later you found yourself on yet another plane ride, but this time it was not to England, nor was its destination your home. You sat on your seat in silence, music which you couldn't concentrate on, blasting through your headphones while you twiddled with your fingers, bouncing your leg up and down quickly. What were you gonna say? He would pick you up outside of the airport in order to avoid bumping into things when the view-switching-thing would happen.

■

Meanwhile, the faceless YouTuber had finished tidying up his apartment and prepared everything for your arrival. He would be lying if he said he didn't look you up on the socials to learn more about you.

About half an hour before the plane would land he drove off to your designated meeting spot. He arrived there 10 minutes early so he could mentally prepare himself. About 5 minutes later he put on his black face mask and exited his car. At first he was gonna wait for you here, but his nerves and heart got the better of him, so he made his way closer inside the airport building to meet you halfway. What he didn't know was that your plane would land early. So, as he made his way through the people, which was way out of his comfort zone already, he started to see black dots clouding his view, but suddenly he came from the other side. Oh no. The body kept walking until he saw himself in the crowd.

Your eyes met as you tried to navigate through the crowd of people, it was hard as you had to control your own body somehow even though you could only see what your soulmate would usually see. Finally you had gotten somewhat closer to one another and as you came to a halt, your bodies mere inches apart as your eyesight returned to your own again. You looked up at the man in front of you in awe. Your eyes were fixated on his as you noticed the (e/c) in his one eye fade away, just to be replaced by this beautiful shade of brown that was in his other eye. The colour you knew so well because you had seen it in the mirror in one of your own eyes everyday. "Your eyes" you whispered. He smiled in return "yours too..it's nice to meet you (Y/n). My soulmate. You are even more dazzling in person" he complimented. "I can't say anything else besides the same applies to you" You smiled in return as your face went red. "Well then...Shall we?" he grinned as he took one of your backpacks and started walking. "Hey! Wait up!" You laughed as you ran to catch up to your soulmate...

#youtube #youtubers #corpse husband #corpse #corpse x you #corpse husband imagine #corpse x reader #gender neutral reader #soulmate #soulmate au #corpse soulmate au #corpse husband x y/n #youtube imagines #youtubers x reader

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behindyourbarrette · 3 years

Text

temporarily, indefinitely, forever/chapter two

Penelope Garcia is a great many things, including a wonderful friend, but she’s a terrible matchmaker. After one too many ill-fated blind dates, the Reader and Spencer Reid find a solution in each other. Their arrangement is temporary...right?

pairing: bi!spencer reid x bi!reader (mentioned briefly, it’s a self insert so think what u want)

category: fluff, fake dating trope, slow burn, requited unrequited love

a/n: hiii welcome to the next installment of TIF! hope you enjoy, and if you do—REBLOG it is the easiest way to show me and other people that you liked it, and help the rest of tumblr like it too! i’d also like to extend a massive thank you to my amazing beta reader @candlesandsoftrain who helped me with this chapter!

previous chapter

series masterlist

----

Spencer Reid is kind of the perfect fake boyfriend.

You notice slowly, over the course of the first weeks. There’s no real catalyst to this realization, no other shoe left to drop. It just hits you.

“I got you coffee.”

You turn your head, setting your purse down on your chair. He’s taken to scaring the life out of you by lurking in your office, arriving at work early. You’ve grown to expect him, too tall for the armchair in the corner, always one step ahead of you.

“You didn’t have to.” You say, but you reach for the warm cup anyways. He knows your order without asking, and you consider this while he watches you take a sip. His cheeks warm, and he hides behind his book, lingering a little too long until you’re interrupted. You don’t discuss the fact that you leave the window shades open, fractions of you both visible from outside, pieces of your smiles shining through the cracks. The shades are open, but he stays even when they aren’t.

You check your phone, the morning after O’Keefe’s. It’s nearly noon, the slight chill in the air giving way to a balmy warmth. You aren’t surprised to find that your work group chat has blown up slightly. You wince as you picture next month’s phone bill.

Penelope writes first, unsurprisingly. ‘I’m thinking a spring wedding?’ Emily and JJ are next. ‘Too soon, Pen. You guys are cute, though.’ ‘So happy for you two!! We’ve been waiting for this to happen forever!! Much love <3’

You make your way to the kitchen, phone cool in the palm of your hand as you fix yourself breakfast. The conversation is ongoing, the buzz of a new message near constant. You look back every few minutes, trying to absorb the barrage of questions and praise.

Derek is an amusing texter, always brief but rarely boring. His take is short, but you get the message. ‘Leave the lovebirds alone.’

Your first order of business—if you can even call it that—comes in a brief form, a term and an agreement. The first day you see him at the office, you find a new sense of charm in the way he’s perched at his desk. You can’t bring yourself to talk to him normally until you get it out of the way, all in one breath and spoken quietly.

“Just until January.”

He looks back at you, a little delayed. It takes him a moment to place what you’ve said, until you watch him register it. He shakes his head, and even you can read between the lines to decipher his meaning.

“Of course.”

“And…you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. If I ask. Just tell me.” You add, pursing your lips together. You half-regret the way you teased him, under the wash of low light in O’Keefe’s. It occurs to you later that Spencer is a private person, and you’re asking a lot of him. He shakes his head, shrugging his shoulders.

“Of course.” He repeats. It sounds like he’s convincing himself more than he’s convincing you.

This exchange is quickly forgotten, though, in a wash of other meetings and technical dates. He calls you after a case, and in your fragile knowledge of him you half expect him to arrive with a binder full of evidence, anniversaries and dates and the entire timeline of your supposed affair, in print. You bear a pen, ready to sign the truth away at the dotted line.

He doesn’t. He arrives with a loaf of bread and a book.

“Your birthday’s in March, right?” You nod, reaching into the sink so the butter knife doesn’t make a sound as it clatters down. He is trying to be conversational, here, pretending not to know the exact day. You wish he wouldn’t. He plays his cards close to his chest with you. He seems a little far away, but he nods as if filing this information away.

“October 28th, for you.” You offer, as if this piece of knowledge will compensate for everything he doesn’t tell you. He smiles a little, pleased, and you have to turn away before he catches sight of the flush of your cheeks. Instead of preparing for this, you ask. He answers. You don’t plan out every minute detail. Nobody really asks. Where you thought people would require detail, proof, they seem satisfied just by looking at the two of you. It is a mystery, what they see.

Despite this, you can tell the team is unsure how to approach the two of you. Maybe it’s Spencer—he’s known them for longer, and you have no idea if kissing his coworker is a normal occurrence for him, but you can’t put your finger on it. They tiptoe around you, congratulatory in the absence of their romantic intervention. This is exactly what you want. You only run into a singular hiccup, in the form of David Rossi.

“You and Reid, huh?”

You have never enjoyed small talk in the break room, but somehow it’s even more suffocating here. You’re not entirely sure of how Rossi even found out—though, upon reflection, he strikes you as a gossip—but you have to force a sip of coffee down to answer quickly.

“Yeah.” You are not trying, but your eyes find the back of his head, in the distance. Dave seems skeptical, looking between you and Spencer as he stirs his coffee. After the silence stretches into something uncomfortable, he shrugs.

“He’s a good kid.” This is new—the way you open your mouth, ready to defend the fact that Spencer is a grown ass man, and Rossi isn’t entitled to treat him otherwise. You close your mouth before you burn a bridge, something acrid settling in your throat. He seems to take your slight intensity as a good omen, though, and walks off with a smirk. You retreat into Penelope’s office, craving something easier than the reality that you’d fight for Spencer in secret, when you’ve only agreed to that in public.

Penelope is perfectly satisfied with the outcome of her matchmaking, even if it wasn’t created in her own image. Inside her sanctuary, amid the buzz and beep of her monitors, she hands you a celebratory lollipop, bright pink to match her glasses. You fall quiet, spinning in your office chair in a way you’ve picked up from someone you know. It feels like there is something left unsaid, until Penelope speaks.

“You could have told me you were seeing him,” She says quietly, devoid of the vibrancy you know and love from her. Your heart breaks a little. In the construction of your white lie, you’ve betrayed her. You exhale slowly, and it requires all of your self control not to completely give yourself away.

“I know. We wanted to wait. I’m sorry.” You say, and reach across her keyboard to give her hand a squeeze. We. There’s a we now, something to belong to. You are not used to this.

You wanted to wait. This is one of many half-truths, created and told over and over. The backbone of the greater lie. Nobody ever really sees the foundation of a house; it’s just there. It’s deceptively easy to defend it.

In September, Hotch calls you into his office. You’re positive that you've violated a fraternization rule, that you’ve ruined your whole life and career and probably Spencer’s too, until you find yourself in his office. He’s smiling. This sight is so rare that you feel your shoulders relax from your ears, and let your guard down.

“How would you feel about working in the field?”

You are not a profiler. This is by design; while the best people you know are profilers, you’re better suited to press conferences and survivor support. It’s entirely different, though, to have your boots on the ground. It feels a little more real, somehow. You stalled this step, this advancement of your career, for fear of losing yourself in the job. On the other side of a landline, you’re protected. It is entirely more rewarding, though, to see who you are helping. To watch the weight lift from their shoulders. The badge on your lapel carries a little more weight when you’re far from home. You adjust slowly, the cases blurring into weeks and days spent overtired and overworked. You spend a lot of time wandering hotel hallways, unable to sleep and waiting for the vending machine to cough up something sweet. You aren't there when the people you work to stop are arrested. When the tension is high, when the team’s work hinges on a single word or phrase. You report the joy, the end. With a smile on your face, you announce the Bureau’s successes, stage lights white-hot on your skin.

The jet is your least favorite part.

You try not to tell anyone this. Somehow, you think that if you bring up your minor claustrophobia, you’ll never live it down. Typically, you manage your fear of turbulence by focusing on the dozens of case files you’re expected to sift through. The drone of the engines and cool blue lighting falls into the background, and you can forget you’re in the air.

It’s cold in the atmosphere. The team is exhausted, each slumped over in their seats and sleeping softly. You try not to look at your watch and feel the rush of fear at the realization that your flight is far from over.

Spencer’s awake, though. You are shoulder to shoulder, on the longer couch. It is endlessly convenient, this companionship. Wherever you go, there is someone to take with. He’s reading Northanger Abbey, and you watch him stifle his laughter every few pages.

The jet lilts to the side, and you can’t suppress your sharp intake of breath. Spencer looks up from his book, watching you try to regulate your breathing. The turbulence is mild, a few bumps and drops every minute, but it scares you to no end.

“I hate flying.”

You mutter, as if he doesn’t know. He nods, and you watch him physically stop himself from telling you a statistic about plane crashes. Instead, he smiles ruefully, and reaches for your hand.

“I’m afraid of the dark.” He admits, and suddenly you’ve exchanged something. A give and take. You know him better than before. Sometimes, when he isn’t there, you wonder if you would know this Spencer if you hadn’t been who you were at the bar. If he was really there to begin with. Either way, you savor this. Knowing him. You close your eyes, leaning your head back. Spencer traces circles over the space between your thumb and index finger, an absent-minded soothe, and you fall into a dreamless sleep.

Sometimes, his inquiries are less heartfelt. At times it feels like he is trying to read you like a book. To memorize each word and learn it by heart.

“How many relationships have you been in?” He asks, watching a kid skateboard past. He lives near a park, which you find ridiculously endearing. The smell of fresh wood chips is heavy in the air, nostalgic and sad all at once. You turn your head, your cheeks burning.

“I just wanted to know! The average American woman your age has been in five.” He says, as if being accused of something, a little rushed. You laugh, shrugging your shoulders.

“Three.” His eyes widen, and he nods. “My high school boyfriend, a girl in college, and a guy in between.”

“You were cool in high school.” He says, a little wistful. You laugh, at his earnestness and at the untruth of it. A duck waddles past and he watches it go, the grass green and damp beneath your feet.

“I was not! I was on the debate team, and I cut my hair in my bathroom sink before school pictures.” You say, and this coaxes a laugh out of him. An elderly couple walking past smiles at you warmly, the woman clinging to her partner with mittened hands, and this makes your chest hurt. How lovely, to hold onto someone. “I was cool in college, though.”

“How about you?” You ask, when the silence has become a little more than you bargained for. You are simply looking at each other. You’ve done this countless times—his features are familiar to you, the rise of his cheekbones and interest in his eyes. But this time, it feels loaded. He shrugs, brushing you off.

“Which question?”

“Either.” Both, preferably.

“Depends on your definition.” He says, because he knows that you hate when he’s vague, and you tease the number two out of him and learn that he was entirely too young to be in college when he was. You wonder if you ever saw him, in Pasadena, smoggy skies overhead. A glimpse of a bookbag or shaggy brown hair. Not many years between you in age but a lifetime left to pass before you learn each other’s names. The morning dew melts into sludge as the sun warms the grass, and you walk back to the real world begrudgingly.

He knows you. He knows your middle name, and which type of pen you like to keep on your desk. You know that he doesn’t mention his childhood much, and that he hates feeling like he’s intruding. A month in, when October is no longer a hypothetical, you make him a copy of your house key. He will sometimes appear in the mornings, so that you can drive him to work and appear at the office together. He raids your fridge for Jell-O, and likes the fact that you have cable because they play reruns of Star Trek on Saturdays. You figure out how to use your VCR recorder to tape them for him, and it is this way that he is woven into your life. Like a gold thread, he is undetectable until you shine a little light. Until someone looks. You almost forget that it wasn’t always like this.

“Who’s your favorite author?” He asks, around a spoon. You turn away from the oatmeal at the stove, shrugging. You will never understand why he asks questions he knows the answer to. It only occurs to you after you register the genuine curiosity on his face that he hasn’t seen your room, the bookshelves that would give him the answer he seeks.

“Steinbeck.” You say, a little defensive, and you’re happy to see a grin bloom on his face. He sets his bowl down, formulating his response.

“You have good taste. The Grapes of Wrath or Of Mice and Men?”

You reach across the stove to turn it off, a small smile forming on your lips. He watches as you indulge in the slight suspense of it all.

“East of Eden, actually.” You think you may have ruined him. His eyes widen with delight and he launches into an explanation, his spoon clattering onto the counter.

“Oh my God. You have great taste. Good and evil, the Biblical allusions—”

You feel a little like you’re improvising, walking on unsteady flooring. You aren’t sure why he agreed to your proposition, only that it’s working. Despite the way this whole thing started, he doesn’t kiss you often. It’s not necessary, really. All it takes is a little hand-holding and hushed conversation to convince the team. JJ talks to you differently now, like you know something she knows, too. Garcia tells you that you're glowing. Emily smiles when she sees you next to Spencer, a little proud. The bullpen feels a little less desolate when you know that you’re waiting, someone pulling you home. You bicker over the radio station, and he waves from the doorway of his apartment complex every time you go.

“Come on. You're sleep deprived. I’ve caught you in three micro sleeps in the past ten minutes.”

Spencer's voice is soft behind you, but you’re more annoyed than anything. You have two reports left, and you told yourself you wouldn’t leave until they were done. The rest of the team is still at work, too, absorbed in their computers or at least pretending to be. Spencer pulls you to face him, the desk chair squeaking as you spin.

“I am not micro sleeping,” You say, because it is the only part of his claim that you can dispute. He laughs, and shakes his head.

“Give me your keys. I’m taking you home. I’ll drop the car off tomorrow.”

This is not something he has done before. The entire reason why you give him rides is because he hates driving—and his car is a total death trap. You hate to imagine him in that tiny Volvo, an accident waiting to happen.

“Go home,” Hotch calls, breezing past the bullpen. “He’s right.”

You laugh, heat blooming across your face as you stand. You pause while you wait for the elevator, face to face.

“Kiss me like we’re saying goodbye.” You will regret this in the morning, when you feel like you can keep your eyes open. Spencer shakes his head a little, confused.

“We’re not. I’m taking you home.”

“Spencer, I swear. They’re looking. Just do it.” You don't register it, but you are hoping that he will. He sighs, but pulls you close and presses a brief kiss to your lips. He’s tender, tentative, and this is what makes your head spin. You don’t know when you learned the difference between Spencer’s goodbyes and hellos, but the dissonance between the two is clear as day. He is not saying goodbye, not now. The elevator dings, and you step inside. One foot in the door, you look back to make sure he follows.

The holidays haven’t even started.

taglist <3 link to join and be tagged in future parts

@everyonesfavoritepipecleaner @idonotexiste @coldlilheart @onyourfingertips @uptowngotmedown @infinite-tides @whentheskiesareblue @winniemjf @aanubisbackwards @just-another-persona123 @okivia @thedancingnerdmermaid @the-chaotic-cow @drayshadow @measure-in-pain @allybatch @reidonfilm @luredwithpretzels @rexorangecouny @thatsonezesty13 @rare-breed-of-human @ceridwen-02 @briefgoateeking

#lol #rory writes #temporarily indefinitely forever #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid imagines #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fluf #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid #dr spencer reid #dr spencer reid fanfic #dr spencer reid imagines #criminal minds #criminal minds self insert #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid series

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angry-geese · 3 years

Text

Blood ties - Chapter Twenty-two: The Day Will Come When You Won't Be

soulmate au Choso x reader

Warnings: mentions of injury but overall sfw

synopsis: you and your brother begin planning to retrieve the rest of the cursed womb death paintings. in the meantime, you reunite with an old friend

a/n: im still throwing aroud the idea of there being,, more between nanami and the reader. but if i actually fleshed out that plot point i doubt,,, it would have a happy ending

also, instead of updating this series once a week, i think im going to start updating it every other week. work has been kicking my ass and i dont see that getting any better until the holidays are over. so for the time being chapters are going to come out bi-weekly

Word Count: 2.7k

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Nanami finds himself wondering if he'd rather wear a glass eye, or an eyepatch. He doesn't see a point in either, so the answer is neither.

Some days are harder than others. Today is rather hard.

He sleeps. And sleeps. And sleeps. Unless a nightmare or his phone dares to rouse him. It's typically the former. There's not many people left who call him anymore. Nanami doesn't see much point in being awake. Things ache when he’s awake. He doesn't do a whole lot more than sleep.

It can't be helped. Burns like that leave a mark, even with a reversed cursed technique.

But he’s alive, which is about the best outcome he could ask for.

He's not sure how much time passes as he lays there. The moon has risen low in the sky, barely visible through the cracks in the blinds. At some point the IV runs out. The painkillers wear off. A dull, stiff ache settles into his limbs. Sometimes moving helps, even if it's only a distraction, but right now he can't find the energy to do such a thing.

Flowers sit wilting on the side table. Their water has grown cloudy. It needs to be changed, but no one has come by to change it. Shoko was by once in the night, offering him water, and painkillers. Not many people besides her visit him. And she hardly answers any questions.

He knows it's too soon to get up. But he can't stand lying in bed. He’s got to keep his strength up. Nanami can't stand lying in bed solely to waste away.

His hands work to pull on his shirt. The buttons are the worst part. Movement in his left hand is difficult. His fingers can no longer produce the same complicated actions as they used to. Sometimes the limb works, other times it's numb. But numb is better than sore. And sore is better than dead.

You’re out in the hall, leaning up against the wall, idly playing on your phone. It takes him a moment to recognize you. You’re not wearing your uniform. You look like you haven't slept, and someone’s cut your hair. The sight of you makes his chest ache with a strange feeling, but the combination of relief—that you're okay—quickly overpowers that.

"Did Shoko say you could be moving around like this?" You ask.

Your arms wrap around his neck as you pull him close. You hold him like you can't believe he's there. But your movements are cautious, and you pay much mind to make sure you're not hurting him. The lemony scent of ketones hangs on your breath, mixing with the scent of cigarettes. He wonders when you last ate. His hand smooths over the back of your head, only making you nuzzle further into the crook of his neck. The smell of his shampoo mixes with the smell of antiseptic. He smells like a hospital. Something that should be comforting only makes you feel sick.

"No," he says, "but I can't sleep."

"Go back to bed," you say, "it's still not daylight yet. You've got a few hours. Hell, I'll sit with you if I have to."

The slightest ghost of a smile tugs at his lips. “How are you feeling?” He asks.

“Me? Well, Shoko said most of the bleeding was internal and that's where the blood is supposed to be.” You say. "So, good I guess."

His eyes narrow. You're going to be the death of him.

“We’ll talk more once you’re sitting down, okay?” You say.

Responsible adult isn't isn't a good look on you. It's strange, and ill-fitting, like a child putting on their father’s boots. But you are trying so desperately to make them fit.

You manage to get him to sit on the bed, but getting him back to sleep seems like a herculean task. You might as well just knock him out. Off come his shoes, and belt, of which you know he can't sleep comfortably in. You don't help him dress down any further, you're too awkward to help with that. You shouldn't be so. It shouldn't be this way, but it is, and you can only loathe yourself for it.

What—if anything—did they tell him?

At the very least he knows about Gojo. But what about Takuma, or Nobara? Does he know the true extent of the damage done in Shibuya? Does he know about the Culling Games?

That can wait. It's best you don't worry him with that.

"How's Itadori?" He asks.

"Good," you say, "better than expected. He's a tough kid."

"And Megumi and Nobara?"

"About the same," you lie. "They'll be alright."

"And you?" He asks. "Were you hurt?"

"I'm fine, really," you say, "nothing happened to me that Shoko couldn't fix." Physically at least. Mentally is another question. "I'm just tired. It's been a long week."

Month, actually. Though it's looking like it'll be a long year.

A warm hand finds your shoulder. You lean into his touch. It's familiar. Being around him brings a strange sense of comfort. Of safety. If things were different—maybe—maybe you'd curl up against his chest. Let his strong arms leech their warmth into your body. How they’d provide you a sense of security.

For now you'll settle on leading against him, taking great care not to disturb the injured side of his body. When his nose buries in your hair, he finds that you smell like him.

"You never answered my question."

His response is only a soft "hm?"

"Do you have a soulmate?" You ask. “You never answered me when I asked the first time.”

“No,” he says. “Those I’ve spoken to say that the string of fate would have appeared by now.”

“Oh,” you say.

“I’ve never found my life any less fulfilling without one, if I’m being honest.” He says. “You can love many people throughout your life. Things are hardly static; they’re going to change. And so will you. Some stick with you through that, and some don't. That doesn't make you any lesser of a person,

“Besides, I don't want a family while I’m still a sorcerer. Sometimes it feels like a blessing in disguise.”

Christ, you haven't even given that much thought.

It makes you wonder if Choso wants one. Could you even give him one? Could you look past everything that’s happened? Could you even make a life acceptable for a child?

If you got out of sorcery, could you stay out for good?

Because, like Nanami said, there’s no way you’re going to be a sorcerer and a parent.

Kids are too much work. You’d rather regret not having them, than regret having them. One is permanent, the other only affects yourself.

Where would you even go? Staying here is almost out of the question. You doubt there will be much of Japan left once this is all over. Not if Kenjaku has his way. But moving your life across the world is no easy task.

A month of adventure for a lifetime of therapy. Might as well move somewhere with free healthcare, cause you’re gonna need a lot of it.

“What are you thinking?” He asks.

“I’m just thinking about what it’ll take for you to get back to sleep.” You say.

You flop across the bed. It's not the most comfortable, and it's certainly not meant for two people. It takes some adjusting to find a comfortable spot. Even then, your shoulder prevents you from getting any proper rest. It's bugging you again. But when is it not?

“What are you doing?” He asks. This time there's a tone of concern to his voice.

“I’m tired, but I’m gonna stay here until you fall asleep.” You say. “Whatever it takes.”

His response is a sigh.

“Aw, what’s the matter Kenny?” You ask. “Sick of me already?”

He scowls. If Nanamin wasn't bad enough, Kenny is certainly worse.

He lays on his non-injured side, facing you. You’re not sure why your face grows so warm. Nanami is your friend- hell, he’s like a brother to you. You’ve shared beds with friends before- at sleepovers. It's not like that's some strange thing.

“It's hard to get sick of you,” he says. “I may find you insufferable, but I did miss you.”

Fuck- why’d he have to say it like that?!

“I suppose it's a shot in the dark, but did you have any luck finding your brother?” He asks.

“Actually, yeah,” you say, “he was at Shibuya, when everything went down, we…

“He’s with us now. That's all that matters,

“We cleaned your apartment while you were out,” you say, swiftly changing the subject, “Yuji, Megumi and I. We didn't know if you- we didn't know when you were going to be up, and I wasn't sure who else was going to do it. But it felt… wrong to have you come home to a dirty apartment.”

You prop yourself up on a spare pillow. Your hand moves to knead your aching shoulder. Rain must be coming. You both can feel it. The ache. The cold that sinks into your limbs and stays there.

He wants to fall asleep. Things don't hurt when he’s asleep. But you make things hurt slightly less when you’re around. He finds the warmth of your body—another person’s body—comforting, even if it feels like you’re holding his ghost.

“I suppose you’re going to head home soon then,” he says.

“Actually no,” you say. “I’ve still got business here. But once I get things figured out with Choso… I don't know. I don't think I'll be able to stay here. I don't know where to go.”

“Choso?” He asks.

“Oh, he's a friend." You say. You're not sure why you lie. But you're getting better at it. Lying.

"What really happened in Shibuya?" He asks.

Goddammit. Why can't he just drop it?!

"After Gojo was captured, we were forced to retreat. Geto has something planned, but we don't know what it is yet," another lie, "and he’s proving to be even more of a pain in the ass than anyone expected. Itadori and the others are currently looking for a sorcerer to help free him."

It's not technically lying, but you aren't telling him anything he doesn't need to know.

“I can help-”

“Maybe,” you say, “once you’ve rested up. Stop trying to push yourself. You’re no use to anyone when you’re half dead.”

Everyone is simply a pawn in Kenjaku's game. The two of you are no different. It makes you wonder what his plan for you is. Maybe you're not a part of it. Not a big one at least. You’re certain—if he had use for you—he'd have you playing right into his game.

Once Gojo is free, he'll be able to sort things out. That's one thing you can give the guy credit for. This will be a lot easier to end with him around.

“Can I ask you a favor?” You ask. “The warehouse that holds the remainder of the cursed womb death paintings- who all is authorized to enter?”

He raises an eyebrow to this, but doesn't seem to question it further. "That would be a handful of people- Gojo and principal Yaga included. It's likely that the clan heads would be a part of that too, along with some special grade sorcerers."

Clan heads, huh? Maybe Megumi would work?

"Why do you ask?"

"It's hard to explain," you say, "but I'm sure you'll see soon."

He shifts to prop himself up on his elbows. The faint light from the window allows a better look at his face. He's lost some weight- you see it in the hollowness of his cheeks, and in his sunken eyes. Has he been eating? Should you bring him something? Could he even keep it down?

His face twists in pain at the sudden exertion. You're sitting up in an instant, ready to call for someone.

"Do you need me to get Shoko?" You ask. "She can get you more pain meds-"

"It's fine," he says, "I'm just tired."

"Then get some sleep."

He doesn't want to fall asleep. Nanami doesn't want you to be gone once he wakes up.

“I don't want you to leave,” he says.

“I won't go,” you say, “I’ll still be here.”

He can only fight sleep for so long. The warmth of your body, combined with the steady sound of your breathing threatens to lull him to sleep. There's only so much he can do to fight it off.

You’re gone when Nanami wakes up.

…

"Fushiguro," you say, "I've got a favor to ask you: I need some of your blood."

Megumi blinks. “Good morning?” he says, half in a state of shock.

"Wait that came out wrong,

"Since you're busy dealing with those suspended third years," you say, "and it feels like it's too much to ask you to go in yourself, considering the current time constraints-

"What I need is a bit of your blood. It's not for me- my brother's cursed technique can use it to replicate your soul, so he can slip in and out of the warehouse undetected.”

If it even works that way.

"Are you certain this will work?" Fushiguro asks.

"Not at all." You say. "But I figure since you're now the head of the Zen'in clan, you're one of the authorized people to enter that warehouse. This is kind of a one-and-done thing though. We’re not going to get a second shot at this.”

Fushiguro casts you one last worried glance before he speaks.

“How?” He asks.

Another thing you’re not certain of. Does it need to be fresh? Can it be dried? How does he even… use it?

“It's simple, really,” says James, startling you half to death, “give me your hand. This will sting.”

From his belt he produces a small, curved blade. It's only a prick on his finger. Enough to draw a drop of blood; nothing more.

“A strong soul,” he comments.

“Don't make this any weirder.” You say.

He collects the blood on a small piece of paper, folding it.

How’s he supposed to use it?

“One last thing,” James says, “consider it a parting gift. Itadori, come here. I need blood from both of you.”

The two students stand opposite of one another, with James between them.

“What are you-”

With the tip of the knife, he slices open the boy’s ring finger- left hand. He does the same with Fushiguro. His cursed energy swells, suddenly, as if he’s preparing an attack. Sweat beads on his forehead, as if this is some physically taxing event. He lets the blood gather on his palm, allowing it to mix, before collecting some with his finger and drawing a line on the ground.

“The two of you are joined by fate,” he says, “I am simply making it obvious.”

“You're…” Itadori holds his hands up in defense. “Hey I didn't ask for this-”

"A bond has always existed between the two of you," he says, "I've done nothing but make it visible,

"This way, no matter how far you are, you'll always be able to find one another.”

"Is it supposed to hurt?" Megumi asks.

The string glows for a moment, before fading to a dull red. Yuji loops it around his fingers, giving it a weak tug. Megumi senses this, and scowls.

"Don't delude yourself into thinking love is painless." James says. "It's going to hurt now and for the rest of your life. People only tolerate it because it feels better than it hurts,

“Now, what I assume you’re most curious about is the culling games,

"Be prepared for a fight once you enter. There'll be other players camping out at each entrance, trying to kill new players while they're disoriented."

Spawn killing huh?

“How do you know this?” Fushiguro asks.

“Sorcerers are… predictable,” he says, “people valued life far differently a hundred years ago. These reincarnated sorcerers simply wish to die in battle,

“As for the game itself, not a whole lot. Only what Tengen said. But I can assume—to help keep things interesting—players that enter are going to be transported to locations different than when they first entered. If you go into a barrier together, you’ll likely be split up,

“This way it’ll be easier for you to regroup,

“You two are going to have your work cut out for you. Good luck.”

#jjk x reader #choso kamo x reader #choso x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #choso #choso kamo #blood ties

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