#half my friends thought i was dead for the last 24 ish hours

[extreme-technicality]

hi yes hello i am Not Dead but my phone is completely kaput so until i get a new one im stuck using v v intermittent computer time tm for all my socializing needs

help lol

#technical talks #literally im suffering #i have no music #i have no snap streaks #half my friends thought i was dead for the last 24 ish hours #b r o #i cant even get a new one for a few days!!!!! im working every time the store is open!!!!!!!!! #IM DYING SQUIRTLE

[shelobussy]

ASH’S TMA HURT/COMFORT/FLUFF REC LIST 

For the gays. (And @damcrows who’s been dead for the past 24 hours. Rest in peace babe. Read some gay fic. Deny the inevitability of canon. <3)

___

the end, but the start (of all things that are left to do)  by @ajkal2

Jon wakes up.

aka. mag200 tore out my heart

(Very smol, very short, very spoiler. Def recommend for anyone who just finished the podcast.)

remind me how to smile by @tamerofdarkstars

Jon is probably fine, just hiding out somewhere while the whole murder thing blows over and that's... fine. Martin is fine with that explanation. Really. He's got plenty to distract himself - like listening through the entire What the Ghost episode library, for example. Or watching Georgie Barker's Instagram livestreams.

(Yea this was in the last rec list, but you don’t understand THE ADMIRAL GIVES CUDDLES)

Chamomile by Dribbledscribbles

Whatever the ex-tea was, if it really had ever been that last bag of chamomile Martin claimed he’d found tucked in the back of the cupboard, it was fast now.

Martin had tried catching it, chasing it, blocking its way with shoebox lids and plates and an upended footstool, but the thing was just too quick. Jon knew as well as Knew that he might have left off the attempts completely if not for the creature’s preferred game.

The game was, See How Many Times I Can Push Martin Towards Cardiac Arrest Before He Comes at Me with The Broom.

(Scottish Honeymoon Era. Adorable and weird. A vampire gets harassed.)

hey stranger by @ennuijpg

It’s a late night Tesco run, how eventful could it be? It’s not like Martin is going to run into his boss who’s wearing something absurdly different from usual and get the most acute form of whiplash possible from seeing him, right?

(Martin runs into Jon at the grocery store and has an existential crisis.)

roses roses, roses. by @judesstfrancis

Rose scented laundry detergent. Running into Jon in the breakroom. Running into Jon on his way back to his desk. Rose scented detergent. Running into Jon. Roses. Jon. Roses, roses, roses. 

(Canon enemies to friends to lovers au-ish. Martin POV. Very pining much sweet.)

go softly by doomcountry

And there is nothing else besides this. 

(More hurt/comfort than fluff. Scottish Honeymoon Era. Mild eye mutilation.)

Not Alone by @backofthebookshelf

After the coffin, Daisy and Jon are both fragile. They hold each other up. 

(Post-buried Jon&Daisy starter pack. Very hurt/comfort.)

trust my love by antlsepticeye

“you… you’re real, aren’t you?” jon whispers, the fog slowly dissipating from his mind. “it is not a trick?”

“i’m here,” martin says softly, reaching up to grab jon’s hand that was resting on his cheek, intertwining his fingers with jon’s and squeezing. he moves jon’s hand to martin’s chest, resting it over his heart. “you’re alright. i’m alright. take your time, love. let’s just take some deep breaths, okay?”

(TOUCHSTARVED JON HAS ENTERED THE CHAT.)

reaching out by Athina_Blaine

By the time things settled, when Martin had finally managed to crack through his cold shell, feel some of his old self returning to him in bits and pieces, they had found their little routine.

One that had the two of them sleeping in the same bed, making breakfast, going to the mart. Where Jon reached for his wrist while they slept, and Martin luxuriated in the gentle warmth of his fingers.  

But not one where Martin reached back. One that had Martin kissing Jon awake or taking his hand over the breakfast table, because ... Martin never had the courage to try. And then it never became a part of the routine.

And Martin desperately wanted it to be.

-

Martin and Jon have an important conversation.

(More Scottish Honeymoon Era for the soul. Hurt/comfort/fluff.)

Belabor by @janekfan​

Jon's given the position of Archivist and is falling apart at the seams. Tim and Sasha are upset and playing games. Elias is overbearing and manipulative.

And poor Martin is stuck cleaning up the mess.

(THEE first fic I ever read for tma. Season 1, hurt/comfort/fluff, and hints of Jmartin. janekfan is the absolute master of seasons 1-3 hurt/comfort. This is my favorite, but pls check out the rest of their fics.)

tea, blankets, and a damnable stubborn attitude by ivelostmyspectacles

“Are you really gonna stay here and pester Jon all evening?”

“I’m not pestering him,” Martin retorted, sounding vehement if not busy going through the cupboards. “I’m heating up soup.”

“Oh, you might as well make him another cup of tea while you’re at it.”

“Oh, good idea.”

Jon shot Tim a withering look.

(The one where Jon is ill, Martin makes tea and they watch doctor who together. Fluff 1000%.)

A Kind Hand by @voiceless-terror

Jonathan Sims was adjusting just fine, thank you very much.

In which a minor workplace spill causes Jon to realize that he might have friends.

(Ah yes, the other master of seasons 1-3 fic aka voiceless-terror being my other fav author in the fandom. This one is also season 1 hurt/comfort/fluff.)

A Weather In The Flesh by @cuttoothed

"There is a span of years where Jon doesn’t touch anyone other than the occasional hand shake. It’s not so bad. He’s never been someone who’s needed physical affection."

*

Jon has never been any good at making people want to stick around.

(More touched starved Jon! Much hurt/comfort!)

Something Old, Something New by @cirrus-grey

Months have passed, and everyone is doing better than they were. Daisy and Basira are getting married, Melanie is feeling her old self, Georgie is as much herself as she has ever been, and even Jon has stabilized on his wild fall away from humanity. Everyone is doing better.

Well. Almost everyone.

(Daisy/Barsira wedding! Melanie is a bitch and we love her! Jmartin dance! Post-canon (almost) everyone lives!)

The Weight of Love by @voiceless-terror

Jon is a restless sleeper. Martin attempts to adjust. 

(The fic where Jon is literally me and Martin attempts to sleep for 1k words.)

The Art of Conversation by @voiceless-terror

"Do you ever stop talking?"

Jon has a complicated relationship with words. Difficulties come and go.

(Jon has adhd and Martin is in love.)

Novelty by @backofthebookshelf

Jon experiences A Sexual Attraction; Martin has A Concern. They figure it out.

(Any fic that explores the ace spectrum is a 10/10. We stan all ace interpretations of jon on this blog.)

Half a Hug by Dathen

I know you weren’t going to hurt me, I trust you, he said again and again. And then a different kind of fear shone through, hollow and echoing: “Please don’t stop touching me."

-

Or: Life is hard when you're touch-starved but have trauma related to your closest friend.  Spoilers through TMA 132.

(Honestly bless every author who saw jon&daisy and was like. They’re siblings. No I will not elaborate.)

the loneliness never left me (but i can put it down in the pleasure of your company) by Athina_Blaine

It was about Martin making Jon feel safe, treasured, and loved. And it had been so, so long since anyone made him feel that way.

And, in the face of it all, Jon was starting to flounder.

(At this point I just need to make separate rec list for Scottish Honeymoon Era.)

you can watch me corrode by scarletfish

"So, how long have you been pulling this shit then?"

"I… excuse me?" Jon’s indignant, certain she can’t mean what he thinks she means.

"When was the last time you ate?"

(Georgie decides Jon and Melanie need a normal day off. Jon learns that he and Melanie have more in common than he thought.)

(Look, Melanie isn’t my favorite person in tma, but she and Jon are like THE SAME PERSON and I adore fics that elaborate on their relationship.)

Out of the Wind, In From the Cold by @ostentenacity

There are two bedrooms in the safehouse, and two beds.

For a moment, Jon considers asking to share, but decides against it with a wince. “I really loved you,” Martin had told him. Loved. Past tense. And Martin doesn’t exactly have a lot of choices right now in terms of company; it would be cruel to demand he play at feelings he no longer has just to make Jon happy.

(For a moment, Martin considers asking to share. But he dismisses the idea with a shake of his head. Jon has already done so much for him. Martin isn’t about to ask for more, especially not when it’s something he doesn’t really need. He has his right mind back, and he has Jon’s friendship. That should be enough for him. It’ll have to be.)

---

Jon thinks that Martin doesn’t love him. Martin thinks that Jon doesn’t love him. They do not, of course, discuss this. Unrequited love is already awkward enough, right? No need to dwell on it.

(THEE SCOTTISH HONEYMOON ERA FIC. IT’S ABOUT THE PINING, BEING MUTUALLY OBLIVIOUS AND FALLING IN LOVE. 10000/10.) 

I Do by @voiceless-terror

“I, um- this was supposed to be a lot more romantic, I swear.” Martin looks down at the dirty bar floor. “I had it all planned out, I-I was going to take you somewhere nice, and then we’d go for a walk in the square- I’ll still do it!” He hurries to explain, as if that’s the most pressing part of this situation. “It’ll be really nice, I’ve already hired a photographer-”

In a fit of protectiveness, Martin proposes to Jon.

(Everyone lives, Martin accidentally proposes and Jon is crying in public.) 

________

#lmao follow for more fic recs #ash recs #ash's rec list #ash recs fics #tma fic list #tma fics #jmart #jmartin #jon sims #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #tma fic recs

[imnotwolverine]

The marriage pact - Red alert

Henry Cavill x OC Alice - multi-chapter

< Part 22 | Part 23 Red alert | Part 24 >

Disclaimer: A little naughty (maybe not entirely PG13? What do you kids watch these days anyways?) and a bit of travel sickness 

Author’s note: 🔥(That’s all I have to say) 

Word count: 1.919

(Link to my Masterlist)

Dear readers,

I never thought I would come to say this, but I think I’ve learned to appreciate the cold. I’m still not a great fan of it, let that be clear. But there’s something quite funny about the routine you build around such extreme temperatures. Digging yourself out of your trailer? Check. Doing jumping jacks while letting your dog pee in the snow? Check. Ice fishing and making Maple Syrup Taffy (which I adore by now)? Check.  

Today is our last day here in Canada and I’ll miss the polite fun folk we have met, the film crew whom are absolute rockstars no matter how extreme the cold got and I’ll most definitely NOT miss the trailer we lived in. Three broken heaters. A leaking shower. A bed that was barely large enough for me to stretch my legs (poor chocolate cake had to almost sleep folded in half) and no place to properly dry your clothes meant it smelt like old fart if you didn’t light some scented candles.

But no more old farts! We are going home!

See you soon dear parents, friends and other good acquaintances. I can’t wait to share all my stories with you in person!

Ali

‘Oophh..I’m not feeling so well Hen.’ I croaked, gripping the arm rest of the airplane seat tightly. I felt about as green as the puking bag I held in my other hand, ready in case my body would no longer hold in the two puny sandwiches I had for breakfast.

Henry rubbed a strong hand over the nape of my neck, cooing some comforting words in my ear over the loud noise of the plane engines and storm outside.

And…DROP…there went the plane again, my bowels drifting for a few milliseconds too long, making the bile rise in the back of my throat. Shaking my head in terror I opened the bag, trying my utter best to breath in deeply through my nose.

Somewhere in the racket of the aerial doom I could hear the quiet whining of Kal, the poor dog folded in between Henry’s legs.

Quite a pair we were, hmm? Scared Kal, sick Alice.

Slowly I felt my breathing calm, the bile sinking back where it belonged, the cold sweat on my skin drying somewhat.

‘Please tell me it..’

DROP. The plane made another dive through the air, my previous green hue right back where it was just moments ago. My face got sweaty again and my breath choked as I kept my mouth clenched tight to prevent any bile from exiting any orifices. 

Usually I was pretty okay with flying. But this? This?! Oh my word. This was something else! I wasn’t even sure if Henry was an actual human, his body calm and relaxed, voice soothing. Like nothing was the matter and we weren’t right now looking right in the gaping mouth of a hell storm, ready to be devoured.

‘I can’t do.. This.’ I gulped, sitting back up and looking white as a sheet, my eyes trying to focus on the chair before me.

‘You’re doing real well.’ Henry praised, his warm hand pushing some sticky strands of hair away from my face. ‘Deep breath in and puff puff puff out.’ He puffed along with me and the very act made me somewhat forget about our predicament. I swallowed back another bit of bile and quickly looked over at him, his mouth still shaped in a little “o” as he helped me puff. ‘I’m not having a baby over here Hen.’ I sniffled, then felt my body protest again, the bile jumping back up in my throat.

Henry laughed. ‘If it works, it works. Besides, a little practise is always good.’ I could clearly distinguish the humour in his voice but feeling sick as a dog I first needed another one of those long inhales followed by a series of puffs before I could look back at him. With an exasperated look I puffed into his face, making him laugh even harder. ‘You’re nearly there baby!’ He cheered, taking the piss with me a bit. I growled and shook my head in annoyance. ‘You…’

‘Just another..four more hours.’ He winked, pointing at the screens that showed the flight time.

‘I hate you right now..*breath in* Cavill *ppfffff pfff pfff*’

‘Just wait until I put an actual baby in you.’ He whiskered huskily in my ear.

Oh how glad I was that nobody could hear us over the loud racket. That nobody could hear my stomach make an actual somersault - both in a good and bad way at the same time. And oh how glad I was I wasn’t physically able to launch myself at him right now, because truly..this man? This man was the greatest of teasers and right now he could most definitely need some..well..let’s say “putting in place”?

—

‘Home sweet home!!’ Henry turned the key of the blue slated house, the hour late and Kal lagging behind us as he was making a reintroduction with the front yard. Tail wagging, nose sniffing, he was acquainting himself with his new home. Our home. Our very own home. A very empty home, too.

We had not really had any time to move and buy furniture, so right now the large house only had a few basic pieces; a bed, a small couch, a kitchen table with two chairs and a few lights. Henry flicked his hand over the light switch to turn it on, but darkness did not evaporate with the burst of yellowish light. It remained dark instead. Grumbling Henry took his phone from his back pocket and used it to shine some light on the light switch.

‘Strange.’ He grumbled, looking over at me as I was calling Kal inside. Stepping in behind him I noticed that something was amiss. ‘Missing a spark there, sir?’ I winked and just like that his annoyance was forgotten, his face breaking into a smile. ‘Looks like it’s going to be a romantic night in the dark ages, my fair lady.’ - ‘Mmm…sounds terribly romantic.’

Closing the door behind us and following Henry’s flashlight into the kitchen, our feet echoing loudly in the empty hallway, we found some groceries his parents had done for us earlier that day. We filled Kal’s bowl, opened the bottle of red wine we found and decided to drink our first celebratory glass of alcohol in bed, the house being a bit chilly as the heating also seemed to have died along with the electricity.

‘I think the dead heater has cursed us.’ I mumbled, trembling under the sheets, body propped up against the headboard and Henry pouring us two glasses. He chuckled. ‘We’ll make sure to sacrifice a virgin later. But first things first; a toast!’

I laughed and clinked glasses with him, the mattress shifting as he moved in close beside me, his lips quite instantaneously finding mine before I could even take a sip. ‘Mmmm..it may have taken me a good 37-ish years to woo you, dear Alice, but please let me tell you that I am the happiest man in the world right now.’ He kissed me again, more passionately.

I chuckled into his kiss, pulling back slightly. ‘I am glad about that too. Even as I lay here in all my clothes, shivering under a blanket, stinking of airplane and probably tasting of bile, too.’ I winked at Henry, his features half-lit by the light of his phone’s flashlight that he had now placed on the foot end of the bed. He laughed and pressed another kiss on my lips. ‘Oh no. Nothing can quite stop me from loving you, I’m sure. Absolutely..’ He pressed a kiss lower on my neck, his teeth gripping onto the neck of my comfy, but totally un-sexy turtleneck sweater. ‘Nothing.’ He growled, tugging at it playfully, making me laugh even harder.

We had taken only two more sips of our wines before we busied ourselves with reacquainting with another piece we had missed very much; his bed. Now, our bed. Limbs tangling together, lips locking, there were a few things that simply didn’t change. Henry was a bear in every..sense..of the word. Big, bulky, sweet, hairy bear hugs. 

And apparently next to family planning, long airplane flights ALSO got him terribly horny.

—

Squinting my eyes I looked to my side, finding a still asleep Henry entangled with my arms and legs. Which, in and of its own was quite unique as Henry was usually up way before I even managed to blink open a heavy eyelid. Grumbling I shifted my hip and felt something weird on my leg.

Was that a …SNAIL?

Squirming and huffing in disgust I quickly shot out of bed, only realising a moment too late what it actually was. Not a snail or anything of an animalistic nature. A condom. Gasping quietly I saw Henry wake up as well, his blue eyes immediately searching for me and finding me next to the bed. Quizzically frowning at me he grumbled. ‘Mmwhat is it?’ He rubbed his eyes and yawned, then saw what I was pointing at. The condom.

‘Oh..’ He blinked, picking it up with deft fingers, then blinked a few times more when he realised that it was not just a condom. It was a..broken..condom. We both held our breath, the last remains of sleep immediately lifted.

‘Holy crap.’ I gasped, our eyes meeting in a moment of silent understanding. Henry sat up and swallowe harshly. ‘I’m SO sorry. Oh..’ He quickly tossed the condom aside and pulled the sheets away, large crusty stains everywhere. ‘Oh god I’m so sorry Ali. I didn’t know..I…’ He gave me a pleading look, large hairy chest heaving with terror.

And yet, despite the fact this was not truly a funny thing, I laughed. ‘Oh my..’ I chuckled, shaking my head slightly. ‘Well that was an adventurous night, for sure.’ I said, slowly crawling back on the bed, evading the large crusty stain in the middle. Henry sighed and rubbed his face again. ‘Damn. Do you want to go to the pharma..-’

‘No.’ I cut him short. Our eyes met again and just like that another silent agreement was made, Henry’s pleading eyes melting into ones of tender love. ‘Really?’

I giggled and crawled into his lap, nuzzling his nose and enjoying the warmth of his arms as they wrapped around me. ‘Really Ali?’

‘Henry! Please do not make me regret a thing that feels good.’

Henry’s chest rumbled with a deep chuckle. ‘So.. it’s okay?’

I nodded and looked deep into his ocean blue eyes. ‘To me it’s okay. Is it for you?’ I asked with honest curiosity, but I couldn’t keep a serious face for long when I saw Henry’s over enthused face. ‘Alice..Alice Alice Alice..is this what I think it is?’ He whispered, eyes large and expecting, his hands rubbing slow circles over my lower back. I grinned and nodded, shrugging ever so slightly. ‘It’s not like we aren’t on the same page. No matter what happens. We want this, right?’ - ‘Right.’ - ‘Then let this happy little accident make it so.’ - ‘Okay.’ Henry said, still coming up to speed with what we had just decided upon.

‘AAAHH!!’ He exclaimed rolling us over, the dirty sheets sticking to our bodies, making me laugh with joy. ‘I love you, I love you, I love you!’ He whispered with great contentment, his lips travelling down my jawline, pressing sweet kisses on every inch of skin he could find.

‘I love you too Henry. Now better warm me up before we’re going to probably have our coldest shower EVER.’

‘With pleasure.’  

--

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#henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill x oc #henry cavill x author #romcom #the marriage pact #travel #travel sickness #turbulence #kal #henry bear #red alert

[umbrisanimussempiternam]

Creature of The Night

I have always been a bit of an insomniac, but ever since something happened recently in my life - or rather, I was told about this thing - I have been getting less and less sleep at night. I work sporadic hours ever since this pandemic started and I know that isn’t helping things. I am not as busy as I once was, which I often mentally complained about. I now regret all those mental complaints - maybe all that activity would finally give me some peace and quiet inside my head. I work a job that had me going literally 24/7 and now due to pay/hour cuts, I am finding I have more time than I know what to do with. I guess that’s why I am writing here - to have some kind of outlet into the internet where no one knows who I am and what I am about to write in this post.

I can’t not talk about it anymore - it’s been slowly choking me.

To start, a little background/history. I have always had a rocky relationship with my mother. Actually, that’s putting it delicately. My relationship with my mom was TERRIBLE for several years. It has only recently (round about three-ish years) been getting better. I guess it makes sense - that was around the same time my mom’s second-eldest sister died. It hadn’t taken too long, only about a year and a half for her cancer to consume her. My mom’s eldest sister died a little over a year after that and my grandmother (my mom’s mother) a year after her. I guess you can say that all of those deaths in the family have been forcing us together. I must say, they did a better job at helping us communicate than my mom when she would literally lock me in my bedroom with her and make me stay there until we solved whatever was going on. Great parenting, mother.

But I digress and now I know the “reason” behind the bad parenting and all of the hard times we had.

The fourth of July of this year was when my mom told me. I am still having a hard time processing it over two months later. For reference, I won’t use real names, but I will use random letters to the key people involved.

My “uncle” - J

My aunt (my “uncle’s” wife) and my mom’s eldest sister - R

My grandmother - L

So, fourth of July rolls around. I usually would have been out with friends on that day, but due to the pandemic, I decided to go to my parent’s house to visit my mother (my father was working that day) and my cat. We got to talking like we do a lot more of now - those deep talks she would always have with my sibling that I would be jealous of, but never wanted to partake in. We got on the subject of healing the family. It’s been quite broken with all of the recent deaths and all of the things people somehow never say until it is too late.

For another little tidbit of backstory, you should know that my mother and her siblings were all abused by their father - L’s husband. Mentally, emotionally, physically, and yes - sexually. L had six kids and nowhere to go, so she began to work night shifts at an office, leaving her kids with that horrible man. My mother was six the last time her father sexually abused her. He was a drunk, a low-life and I am glad he is dead so that I don’t ever have to try to forgive him for what he did to my family.

When my mother was just turned seven; she, her brothers and sisters and her mother all moved away from him. But the damage had already been done. R couldn’t have anyone touch her for the pain that she would feel everywhere - a burning sensation that spread from the inside-out. My mothers brothers all had resentment towards L, my mother’s second eldest sister had resentment towards everyone, but they stayed in each other’s lives. I cannot say if that was for the worst or not.

My mom was twelve years younger than her eldest sister - R. Right around the time they moved away from the monster that was their father and husband, R was proposed to by J. Even though R couldn’t be touched, even though she probably could never bare their own children, J married her. Everyone thought of him as the most amazing, perfect man for marrying R. They lived in a little house in Northern California, went to church every weekend, and my mom would go to visit them every summer.

Every summer. It all started when she was nine. I can only imagine - though I wish not to - what J did to her. You see, since he couldn’t get his nut out with his wife, he assaulted my mother. Every summer she went up there. For weeks on end, she was at his mercy - a nine-year-old girl who only knew to turn to her mother for help. When my mother finally told L a couple of years into the abuse, she was informed that it must have been her own fault. L chose this monster - the second one in my mom’s short life - over her. All because L liked J and couldn’t imagine him as the no-words-in-the-human-or-heavenly-or-down-in-the-depths-of-hell-languages kind of man he really was.

L knew what my mom had gone through with her ex-husband. J knew what they had all gone through and my mother was not an exception. J knew what had happened to her already in her short life and decided to go and do it anyways. Repeatedly. For YEARS!! I cannot fathom how my mother is still alive. More so - I cannot believe HE is.

No one knows but these few people - L (who as stated before, is now dead), my mother, my father, me and (obviously) J. I have not the strength to tell my sibling - who by the way has been suicidal for years. Telling them now... I don’t know what that would do and I will not let myself be an only child. No way in hell.

I grew up with J around me. I can’t tell you how many times I was in the very house - the very ROOM - my mother was assaulted in. Now I know why my sibling and I never went up north without one or both of my parents there. My parents never left my sibling or myself alone with the man and it never registered in my mind until my mother told me about all of this. He was a man that I trusted, a man who I thought to be amazing for loving my aunt even though he could never be with her the way he probably wanted to. R, he respected. Her sister, not so much. It’s a mask that I hope to one day rip away and show the world what he truly is.

There is just one roadblock in all of this. Well, two, really. My cousins. See, what I haven’t mentioned before is that R and J adopted two kids. The reason I have stayed silent this long is because... well I don’t know how it would feel in reality, but I can only imagine the pain of knowing the man who raised you - the man you trusted - was a child molester and rapist. A man who affected forever how my mom, my sibling and myself see the world. I can’t. But someday I’ll have to explain to my family why I can never ever go to a gathering he will be attending. Why I could never look J in the eyes again without imagining my mother’s face as a child reflected in them. I would throw up on him. I feel nauseous as it is just thinking about J now, even with him over a thousand miles away and not having seen him in over a year and a half.

One of the reasons my mother didn’t tell her family was because she knew how it would destroy her sister and it probably wouldn’t have turned out good for my mom back then. It definitely would have divided our family between those who wanted to stay close to L and those who would have stayed by my mother’s side. The second reason ties into the first. My mom thought - and still thinks - since L didn’t validate her story or pain that no one else would believe her. And who could blame her?! Her own MOTHER didn’t give a rat’s ass about her pain - didn’t believe her. The one person who was supposed to love my mom and protect her no matter what had failed her. Again.

The reason I won’t say anything yet breaks down into two things as well. The first is that my mother isn’t ready. God, it’s been 40 years and I don’t blame her at all for not being able to process what happened to her. The second reason is that I know what it will do to my family. Most, if not all, will be on my mother’s side now. That’s part of the problem though. I know what it would do to J’s kids - my cousins. I don’t care that they are not technically blood relatives, I would protect those two with my own life. The eldest is already worried about being the “black sheep of the family” even though there is nothing they have done that will ever come close to earning them that title. I can’t think of what this will do to them - both of them. I am scared they would feel ashamed to show their face to our family again. I can’t go the rest of my life without seeing them.

So for now, I don’t really have a choice. I will have to wait until the day of justice finally dawns upon J.

The absolute worst part about this for me? I don’t know what to do until then. Actually, I don’t know what to do even after that. I don’t know how to move on, how to let go - how to SLEEP. I can’t even sleep at night for Christ’s sake!! It evades me now more than ever. I constantly feel like when I turn my light off and roll over; close my eyes - I will feel someone grab me from behind. J is an all consuming entity now and I don’t how to expel him from my waking or sleeping mind.

If there is one point I want to make with this post - it’s this.

Trust your kids. 

Put your biases aside and believe them when they tell you they are in pain. L HATED and blatantly showed her dislike for my father even though he did nothing and has done nothing but love and cherish my mother. Not once has he hit or abused - emotionally or physically. However, L adored J and she showed it openly. I cannot fathom what makes a mother choose someone else over her own child, but I am here now telling you it’s possible. So please, I implore of you, if any child comes to you with pain - any pain - help them for God’s sake.

I ask this of you because the reverberations of neglect have rippled through my mother and passed into me. I know how it feels and I would not wish it on my worst enemy.

Well, maybe J.

#blog #familyblog #pain #abuse #lifeis #complicated #anonymous #familylife #stop #hurting #children #family #life #is #messy #lifeismessy

[cyberghouleo]

Stuck With You {Smut}

This is just pure smut, I’m sorry yall

Words : 4.1k 

AO3 link 

While you and Bakugou were supposed to be friendly towards each other, like everyone else in 1A, his attitude that was basically him just being an insufferable prick 24/7, made that very difficult. Even though he saw most of the future heros in his class below him and while he did treat them like shit, he felt for some reason to always be a dick towards you, which probably had to do with the fact that you didn’t put up with his shit most of the time, firing back with some more snarky comments. The past week had been the worse though, since after all the new dorms were put up, it only meant you had to see him outside of school too.

Although you were rarely paired up with him for training, today Aizawa thought it was going to be a great idea to put you two together, explaining that it would help both of you to learn how to counter more attacks and build each other's quirks, but Bakugou said that it was just going to be bullshit and that it would be an unfair fight since he was just going to destroy you.

Hearing him say that only made you want to beat him even more, so during the training you made sure to at least land some cheap shots, just trying to show that you weren’t as weak as he thought you were. Even though he did get a few more hits on you, it still wasn’t a complete loss, so you were a little happy that he couldn’t go around boasting about how he complete destroyed you, like he said he would.

You were currently changing out of your hero costume in the girls locker room, sighing as your body was extremely tired and sweaty, making it harder to peel off your clothes. The sound of the door closing caused you to look up, only to see Momo standing there with Mina.

“Oh hey (Y/N)!” Mina greeted while flashing you a smile, walking over to her locker to grab her phone which she seemed to have left after training.

“Hey guys, you guys haven’t left yet?” You asked, finding it abnormal that they were still around since their training ended a while ago, leaving you and only Bakugou in the training rooms.

“Oh, Mina left her phone so I figured I would walk back down with her.” Momo stated, grabbing Mina’s jacket from her hands so she could close her locker easier. “We also came down here to ask you a question. All the girls decided they wanted to go out and try this new restaurant, and they wanted to know if you could come!” You thought for a second to try to remember if you had any plans for tonight, despite it being a Friday you had just planned on staying in your dorm and sleeping, but you shrugged your shoulders.

“Sure, I have nothing else to do tonight. What time?” You asked, looking over your shoulder as you searched for your spare clothes from your locker.

“Probably around 7 or 8-ish. We’ll just text you alright?” Mina said, while they both walked out of the locker room.

You had figured that they were only in a rush to get ready for tonight, but you shrugged it off and tried finding the pair of sweatpants you thought you had in your locker. The only thing you could find was your school uniform, the last thing you would want to change into, but you just went with it and closed your locker and started heading towards the showers. You had planned on just taking a shower in the shared showers that was connected to the locker rooms, and just go up to your dorm and change and get ready for the girls.

As you finally stepped into the water stream, you let out a groan as the hot water helped soothe your tired muscles. You didn’t think you were going to be that tired from training, but you weren’t that surprised since you did train with Bakugou. As much as you hated the kid, you couldn’t deny the fact that he was talented and could have probably beat your ass if you weren’t as stubborn as you were. Just as you were about to wash your hair, the water almost instantly went cold, causing you to curse out. You let out of huff, trying to wash your hair as fast as possible before you froze to death. When you got out of the once hot shower, you quickly dried off and blow dried your hair, trying to warm yourself up.

You stopped at your locker, grabbing your duffle bag and phone, seeing that your phone was about to die and that you only had an hour or so to get ready, which only made you more pissed off. You stepped out of the locker room, seeing that the halls were completely empty and silent, which was normal considering that all the teachers had left and most of the students were out spending time with their friends on this Friday night. You pushed your duffle bag further up your shoulder, walking over to the elevators since you were too tired to even think about going up the stairs.

You pressed the button, checking your phone while you waited. After what seemed to take almost two minutes, the elevator finally opened up and you stepped inside and pressed the button to close the door. When it was only a few inches from closing, a foot stopped the door from closing all the way, before the doors opened up again to allow the person to come in. You glanced up from your phone to look at the person who stopped you from being able to be alone for the ride. As you looked them up and down, you felt dread hit you instantly when you realized it was the one and only, Katsuki Bakugou. This was the only time you saw him without his hero costume or school uniform, as he was now wearing grey sweatpants with a black tank top.

“Why haven’t you left yet?” You asked in a monotone voice, not bothering to look up from your phone again.

“Tch, the fuck does it look like I have been doing,” He asked, which caused you to give him a quick side glance, before rolling your eyes and just going back to playing on your phone. “I just got done showering, dumbass.”

“Yeah, thanks for taking up all the hot water.” You said sarcastically, which he only huffed at.

“It’s only pay back for getting those cheap shots on me, which you didn’t fucking deserve to get.” He fired back as clicked a floor button, which just happened to not even be close to the floor you actually needed.

You reached around his arm, pressing the floor 3 button and stood by the door, wanting to get out of this elevator as soon as possible.

“Why the fuck do you need that floor?” He asked, but it really only came out as a demand.

“I have to get papers from Aizawa’s room before I go over to the dorms.” You said, rolling your eyes since you had no idea why he wanted to know what you were doing so badly.

You heard the door ding a couple times, before it started shaking a bit. You shrugged it off as being normal, but once the lights started to flicker, you started to get a little nervous. After the elevator stuttered a bit, it finally evened out and it beeped again. You were still looking at your phone when you got shoved from the back, which made your bag drop down and tugged at your already sore arm. You looked up to see that you were at your floor but you were already falling towards the ground before you realized it. Just as you were about to yell at Bakugou, the doors started closing again while you were halfway between them. You let out a grunt as you felt the door close around your waist, with you slightly bent over and your phone and bag went flying in front of you, laying out across the hall’s floor.

“Thanks asshole, now the elevator is fucked up and I'm stuck because you’re so impatient.” You yelled back at him, looking around the halls to see that the lights were all dimmed and that it was empty, so even calling out to someone for help would be useless.

“Not my fucking fault you were looking at your phone.” He said, looking at your bent over form, your school skirt slightly riding up with your black lace panties showing. If it would have been anyone but you, he would have ignored it and just roll his eyes at it, but he couldn’t help staring for a few more seconds, taking it in as you groaned. Although he acted like he hated you, he couldn’t deny that he hasn’t thought about you in some romantic way, which some could say was just a crush, but he always denied it and just treated you like shit so his feelings would never come up.

“Yea well now I can’t even get my phone because I can’t reach it and it’s probably dead. So thanks you dickhead!” You yelled back, letting out a frustrated sigh as you tried to wiggle out of the door’s grasp.

“S-Stop doing that!” He shouted back, watching as your ass jiggled as you tried to escape, which didn’t help the blood rushing to his lower half. He knew that seeing you like this was wrong and he should just try to help you get out, so you both could go about your day, but he couldn’t help thinking that this was revenge for when you left a huge bruise on his side during training. Even though he might have a crush on you, thinking back to all the little stunts you pulled during training only made him smirk and he suddenly stopped feeling bad for you being in this position.

“I’m trying to get out since you obviously aren’t helping me! Ugh, we are so fucked since there is nobody around anymore.” You groaned out, still trying to wiggle out. “I knew these dorms were a bad idea.” You mumbled out, trying to stretch out to grab your phone, even though it was only a few inches from your reach.

The further you stretched, the higher your skirt got and exposed more of your ass, which only made Bakugou smirk even more. Sure he’ll probably feel bad for doing this later, but he saw the way you looked at him sometimes and he knew you would want this too. He got closer to you, leaning down a bit to help bring your skirt up higher, which caused you to gasp out.

“W-What the hell are you doing?!” You asked, now feeling how exactly exposed your lower half was.

“I’m trying to help you dumbass.” He said, now tracing the outline of your panties with his finger, just barley ghosting his finger around it, which caused you to shiver. As much as you did hate him and wanted to get out of this trapped hell hole, you couldn’t deny that this was a little hot.

“I don’t see how this is helping.” You muttered, glancing back to look at him, now seeing his hard dick print through his sweatpants. Your face quickly heated up and you looked forward again, you couldn’t believe this was happening.

After he traced the outline a few more times, he grabbed the top of them and yanked them up over your hip bones, which caused you to squeal out of embarrassment. He stared at your form for a second, biting his lip before he softly dragged his finger over your clothed folds, which caused you to let out a shaky breath. He kept doing it, seeing how wet your panties were already getting as you squirmed against his touch.

“Bakugou…” You quietly moaned out, feeling even more ashamed since you knew you weren’t supposed to be enjoying this. You hated him, you knew this. Or at least you thought you hated him, but right now you were starting to second guess that.

As soon as he heard you quietly moan, he smirked and pulled your panties to the side, teasing you even more. You whimpered, trying to grind up against his fingers even more, but he quickly slapped your ass as a punishment. He slid your panties back over, pulling them up again so they grinded against your folds again. He slapped your ass a few more times, which caused you to thrust your hips forward, trying to avoid the stinging pain. He watched as your ass jiggled against his palms, gripping both of them in each hands, massaging them and pushing them together.

You looked around in embarrassment, praying nobody saw you in this humiliating position with Bakugou. You wouldn’t be able to live this down if anyone caught a glimpse of the both of you. You quickly gasped as you felt your panties being torn down, leaving you completely naked now. You looked back and watched as Bakugou bit his lip, taking your form in, giving a smirk towards you while rubbing your folds up and down.

He pushed your ankles further apart so he could look at you better, grabbing both of your lips to spread you open fully, making you to let out a whine. He traced his middle finger up and down from your clit, causing your thighs to tighten up at the sudden feeling. He teased your hole while he rubbed your clit, quickly slipping a finger inside you, which made you gasp and whine at the same time. He felt you tighten up around his fingers, rubbing your clit even faster now as his finger pumped in and out. He inserted another finger, curling up as you pushed your ass further up to him, which he responded with another slap.

The combination of him rubbing your clit and curling his fingers inside of you caused you to cum rather quickly, your body feeling even more exhausted than before. He slowly removed his fingers, watching as your cum dripped down onto the floor and some onto your legs, taking his fingers and licking them clean, rubbing them up against your folds again.

You glanced back, eyes still glazed over from being over stimulated, watching as he stared at your position with his sweatpants now hanging down dangerously low past his hip bones, his cock leaking with a bit of precum because of the past events. You watched as he slide them down, his dick springing out fully hard and ready.

“W-Wait! Bakugou we can’t.” You said, worried laced with your voice.

“Why the hell not.” He said, tilting his head slighting as he pumped his cock up and down in his hand.

“Somebody might see us!” You said, which only caused him to shake his head and roll his eyes.

“You said that nobody is around here.” He said, mocking your voice as he watched as some extra cum dripped out of you.

“Yeah but what if one of the teachers is still around?” “I don’t give a shit. You weren’t worried when I was fingering you.” He said, his bluntness and him rubbing his dick up against you, coating it in your wetness, made you blush and you looked away from him.

The elevator shifted again, causing your upper half to be pressed against the hall floor, now you were face down ass up in front of him, which only made it easier for him to grind up against you. He took a step back, pumping his dick one more time and took in your figure another time, before lining himself up with your exposed hole and slowly inserting it. You gasped, already clenching around his tip. Once he was fully in, he let out a soft groan which he must have been holding in. He leaned down so his chest was now flush with your back, moving your hair over to the side so your neck was now exposed to him.

“Plus, at least you're stuck here with me,” He whispered in your ear with his now husky deeper voice. “Imagine being stuck in here with Mineta, alone and in this position.” He said while pulling back and thrusting into you again, causing you to let out a small whine.

“S-Shut up you bastard,” You retorted back, still trying to not completely submit to him.

He only responded by thrusting into you deeper, gripping your hips to get a better grip on you and to make it easier to get his cock deeper inside you. He groaned out, closing his eyes as he felt you tighten up again around him. He started kissing your neck, before clamping down on it and started sucking, trying to form a quick hickey so he could mark and tease you about it later. You moaned, trying to push yourself back on him to get more of him once he stood up, while moaning and clenching your hands into a fist.

“Moan my name,” He commanded, slowing down his thrust.

“Please...Bakugou,” You moaned, not used to hearing his name while you were in this state.

He leaned forward and gripped your hair at the base, yanking it upwards so he can reach the base of your neck easier. He leaned in closer before whispering, “No, moan my actual name,”

“Katsuki.. Please fuck me,” You moaned out, feeling him get off your back and start thrusting harder again.

Katsuki stared down at you, watching as your mouth fell open, whines and moans escaping rather loudly as you drooled, so caught up in his movements and how good he felt inside you, that you didn’t care who saw or who heard the two of you. The sight of you being completely under him and him having control of you would be able to make him cum alone, the image being a big contrast for your normal stubborn and snarky attitude towards him. He let out a growl like noise, picking up pace as your moans got higher pitched. He could feel himself getting close, as he felt you starting to clenching more around him.

“Katsuki, can I cum,” You moaned out, more like a statement rather a question, feeling yourself starting to lose control.

“No, beg for it,” He huffed back, almost stopping his thrust which made you groan as you were so close.

“Please Katsuki, please let me cum! Let me cum around your cock, please!” You moaned out, trying your best to get him to let you release yourself.

“Good girl,” He growled against your neck, picking up his normal pace again. “Cum for me then babygirl.”

You felt him raise your hips up higher, as he rubbed your clit while his dick pushed further into you. Feeling overstimulated, you gave in and clenched around him as you rode out your orgasm. He clenched his teeth as he felt how tight you had gotten, giving a few more sloppy thrusts before feeling himself tighten up as he felt his hot jizz go inside you. He gave a few more thrust, trying to make it last for as long as possible, your body moved almost like a rag doll for the pure exhaustion you felt.

He slid out, watching as some cum dripped down to your socks, coating your inner thighs as you tried to catch your breath. He bit his lip, taking in your now swollen and twitching pussy for one last time, since he figured he would be dead after you got unstuck. He saw you trying to push yourself up from the floor, only for your arms to shake and make you fall back down. He grabbed your panties and skirt, placing them back in place before he grabbed the elevators door, using a small explosion to help bend it back into place. Once your body became free, you sighed and slowly pushed yourself onto the hallway floor. Katsuki followed out of the elevator with you, lending you a hand to help you get up.

You looked up, your eyes still glazed over and your hair slightly messed up, looking up to his red eyes, which held something other than anger for once. It was almost like they looked calm and a little bit worried. You went to take his hand, but just let your arm flop back down to your sides. He raised a brow at your actions, not used to seeing you this defeated looking.

“My whole body is sore and my legs feel like jelly, I can’t get up.” You muttered, which seemed to get a quiet chuckle from him.

“Tch, I wasn’t that rough… was I?” He asked, leaning down to pick up your phone and bag.

You gave a small smile, so the great Bakugou does actually worry about someone other than himself, you thought to yourself. “No, you were fine. I do have to go get ready to go out though,” You said, forcing yourself to stand up, which only made your legs shake and almost fall over.

“With those legs? No you’re not.” He said before picking you up by your waist, which made you gasp when he threw you across his shoulder. You quickly tried to bring down your skirt so you weren’t exposed again, but you were quickly stopped when he swatted away your hands.

“You’re fine, so stop it dumbass.” He muttered out as he walked down the stairs with you, almost as if it was nothing.

You yawned, feeling too tired to even try to fight with him again. You snuggled into his back, taking a deep breath of his scent which was now somewhat calming to you. “Where are we going?” You asked, rubbing your eyes to shield it from the now bright sunset.

“Back to my dorm. I’m not letting you go out tonight, especially when my cum is still inside you.” You blushed at his words, shaking your head and letting out a small huff.

You weren’t sure how your feelings towards Bakugou were, you knew you hated him sometimes, but right now, you didn’t exactly mind seeing this softer side of him. You had closed your eyes, trying to figure out how he thought of you when you heard the door open up, opening your eyes to be greeted with him entering his dorm. He dropped you off his shoulder, falling into his soft bed which smelled exactly like him. You sat up for a second, only to have a pair of his clothes being thrown at you, which you quickly put on in your tired state, not caring that you were now somewhat naked in front of him again. After getting dressed you quickly found his blankets as you laid back down, curling up in them as you drifted off to sleep rather quickly from being sore.

He sat down your bag and plugged your phone in, seeing that the girls group chat was blowing up with questions about where you were. He gave a slight smirk, looking over at his bed to see you passed out. Even though he wouldn’t tell anyone, he is still proud that he was able to make you be submissive to him, especially with the hickeys on your neck and his clothes that were now draped against your body. While that did boost his confidence, he still didn’t know how to feel about you exactly. He knew it was a different feeling that he hadn’t felt before, but he wasn’t sure if he had fucked up any chance of you guys even being friends, let alone being anything else.

He sighed and took off his tank top, climbing over your now sleeping body before getting under the covers and laying down next to you. He was playing on his phone with his arm down at his side when he heard you groan and turn in your sleep. He glanced over at you to see that you were now laying facing towards him, with your arm outstretched by your side. You felt around the bed for a second before you came into contact with his hand, stopping for a second before lacing your fingers with his. Seeing you do this made him blush as he averted his gaze. Now he definitely had to do something about his feelings towards you.

#smut #katsuki bakugou #mha bakugou #bnha bakugou #bnha #bakugou x reader #bnha katsuki #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugou smut #katsuki bakugo imagine #mha #im sorry yall this is some creepy ass shit but yea its kinda hot sorry lmaooo

[thetvmoviefan]

Nabrina FanFics Part 7 (Friday 13th Update)

Sabrina Spellman & Nicholas Scratch (Nick Scratch) FanFics MASTERLIST

Updated: December 13, 2019 (12/13/2019) also Friday 13th

FINALLY!! We got the release date for Part 3 of CAOS and it’s going to come on January 24, 2020!! While Netflix still has yet to release a official trailer even though today (12/13) was good to release it, thought it would be a good day to release a newly updated list of Current and NEW Nabrina FanFictions for anyone waiting for our favorite Power Couple Sabrina Spellman and Nicholas Scrath to come back. So If you’re in need a Nabrina fix or a general CAOS fix here’s a lst of fics that are worth the reads and re-reads till Part 3 comes out.

As always have a Wicked or Hell-ish time with these fics and ENJOY!!!

Fics in Order by Last Update 12/13/2019

[Key: AU=Alternate Universe - AH=All Human - * = New Fic to List]

1. “Just a Little Obsessed”*

Author: eyerys

Summary: Nicholas has developed a tinie-tiny crush on Sabrina. Nothing like major or whatever. It's not like he thinks about her all the time or daydreams about what it would be like to be with her or how cool she is. No, not at all.Sabrina doesn't have a crush on Nick. No, not at all. Uh-uh. She has Harvey. Sweet and loving Harvey Kinkle. But for some reason, she can't help but find her mind wandering. Rated Teen - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 12/13/2019

2. “Lessons in the Unseen”

Author: bunivy

Summary: Academy Teachers AU. Sabrina Spellman lives as simple a life as a half-mortal half-witch can. Despite her dislike for the headmaster, she enjoys spending her time teaching Ritual Magic at the Academy of Unseen Arts, hoping to positively shape the minds of young witches and warlocks. However, with the sudden dreadful announcement of her aunt Zelda's engagement and the appearance of one mysterious - and strikingly handsome - Nicholas Scratch, Sabrina finds that her life is not so simple anymore. Or all that safe. AU - Rated Mature - Chapters 31/? - Last Update 12/12/2019

3. “Off The Record - One Shots”*

Author: sarahkwut

Summary: Missing scenes from my completed piece, 'Off The Record.'AU/AH - Not Rated - Chapters 3/? - Last Update 12/12/2019

4. “Ocean”*

Author: sarahkwut

Summary: AU, M-Rated. Nicholas Scratch has everything working in his favor. He's got a decent job as a history teacher, his roommate Melvin is always up for video games and getting high, and Sabrina Spellman lets him mess up her sheets frequently. Sabrina knows Nick isn't good for her, but she can't stay away, no matter how hard it is to pretend she's completely okay with their casual arrangement. But when life takes an unexpected curve, Nick is forced to face a new normal he doesn't know how to navigate. And Sabrina may or may not be there to help him through it. AU/AH - Rated Mature - Chapters 8/? - Last Update 12/09/2019

5. “I knew you were trouble”*

Author: Miss_Kath90

Summary: Sabrina didn’t know that being away from home for the first time could be so hard.Away from her aunts, friends and her-lifelong-boyfriend, Sabrina have to deal with the nostalgia but also with the new challenges College's life mean: get used to share a room with a not-so-nice roommate, put up with long hours of study and very few of sleep, learn to live from pre-cooked meals instead of her aunt Hilda’s homemade ones, find balance between her studies and her new social life… And resist the temptation a certain Nicholas Scratch mean for her. AU/AH - Rated Mature - Chapters 4/? - Last Update 12/07/2019

6. “As The Moon Rises”*

Author: venzaren

Summary: Sabrina Spellman is tired.Tired of living a double life. Tired of facing discrimination at the hands of her pack. Tired of dealing with her status as an Omega. And most of all, she's tired of people hounding her about finding her mate.Then Nick Scratch returns to Greendale. AU - Rated General - Chapters 1/? - Last Update 12/07/2019

7. “Thirteen Memories”

Author: tempestbreak

Summary: (Set at the end of Season 2) Sabrina and her friends go to Hell and rescue Nick -- but what happens when that's the easy part?It turns out, having the Dark Lord inside your mind for months can do some damage, and Nick comes back different. His memories of the events leading up to his sacrifice, including his relationship with Sabrina, are gone. How can Sabrina help him regain his memories of their time together when she's not even sure she trusts her own? Rated Mature - Chapters 6/? - Last Update 11/02/2019

8. “But The Greatest Is Love” 

Author: sarahkwut

Summary: The acheron captured Lucifer Morningstar, but their problems are far from over. The coven is decimated, the Church of Night is no more, Father Blackwood is on the run, and Nick and Sabrina's relationship is in ruins. How do they pick up the pieces and move on? There are more questions than answers and the consequences could be of biblical proportions. Rated Mature - Chapters 25/25 - COMPLETED 10/28/2019

9. ”Ground Beneath Her Feet”

Author: mindlesshappy

Summary: Sabrina is born out of a miracle - one that she wishes would repeat for her, but when she is destined for someone else, how much can she resist before her heart decides to give in. Alternatively, Nick is Sabrina's soulmate, but she really just wants Harvey to be it. Also, in the backseat are all the other possible ships, getting their own soulmate glories. Rated Teen - Chapters 15/? - Last Update 10/22/2019

10. “Back to You”

Author: nadiaselite

Summary: Sabrina brings Nick back from hell. Rated Teen - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 10/11/2019

11. “The Open Road”

Author: paradiamond

Summary: Nick wants her back, and he’s willing to do whatever it takes. In fact, he insists on it. Rated Teen - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 9/22/2019

12. “The words “I love you” aren’t enough”*

Author: Miss_Kath90

Summary: “Look at me, Nick” he was reluctant but when he finally looked up she took his face in her hands making him unable to look away “What you did that day… Nick, you sacrificed yourself for my sake, even when I mistreated you and told you all those horrible things. You did it for me, because you love me… Don’t you see? You’re incapable of being evil.”Or... Sabrina gets her boyfriend back but things don’t go as smoothly as she thinks they will. Rated Mature - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 9/22/2019

13. “Be True to Your School”

Author: rayo aka @its-nabrina-bitch​

Summary: Nicholas Scratch is the Golden Boy™ of Baxter High; star athlete, top of his class academically, and devastatingly handsome. Sabrina Spellman sees Sophomore year as an opportunity to expand her horizons; joining the cheerleading squad, running for student council, and making new friends along the way while working to maintain her relationships with her old friends. What Sabrina Spellman doesn't know: sophomore year is about to turn her world upside-down. AU - Rated General - Chapters 4/? - Last Update 9/12/2019

14. “Mission: Let’s get my boyfriend back”

Author: My_Evak_Heart

Summary: Sabrina and the Fright Club ventures on their first mission: getting Nick back from Hell Not Rated - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 9/7/2019

15. “Jealousy is a killer”

Author: Melissa1226

Summary: Will Sabrina and Nick Start something new? and who is watching them from the shadow full of jealousy? Rated Mature - Chapters 8/? - Last Update 8/28/2019

16. “The Institute for Divine Craft”

Author: rayo aka @its-nabrina-bitch​

Summary: After a humiliating spat with Father Blackwood pushes Sabrina away from her witching life and the Academy, Madam Satan crafts an alternative solution to move Sabrina Spellman further down the path of night. Ultimately leading her to the Institute for the Divine Craft. A handsome Headmaster with mysterious ties to her father, convinces Sabrina to abandon her mortal life, and cultivate her abilities as a child of the Church of Lucifer. AU - Rated Mature - Chapters 16/? - Last Update 8/21/2019

17. “The Jock”

Author: mikaila_ealum

Summary: An Alternate Universe where Nicholas Scratch is Baxter High’s quarterback along with one of the most popular boys at school. With few knowing the truth, Scratch is living a double life as a warlock at the Academy of Unseen Arts. Sabrina takes a hiatus from the Academy to get more in touch with her mortal side. When Sabrina gets back she becomes partners with Nicholas for a project in theatre class. AU - Chapters 8/? - Last Update 8/07/2019

18. “act 5, scene 2 (thou and i are too wise to woo peaceably)”

Author: ghostemo aka @wickedscratch​

Summary: When Sabrina Spellman rose to a challenge issued by Prudence Night, she never imagined she’d actually make the varsity cheer squad - or that doing so would upend life as she knew it. Now she has to navigate her new role within the social hierarchy of hell -er Baxter High as well as trying to get her boyfriend to actually communicate. It certainly doesn’t help that she’s been paired up with the annoyingly handsome Nicholas Scratch, captain of Greendale’s beloved football team, for a project in her theater class. It’s exactly as, if not more so, cliche as it sounds. AU/AH - Rated Teen - Chapters 3/? - 7/25/2019

19. “Off the Record”

Author: sarahkwut

Summary: AU. Detective Nicholas Scratch left New York for Greendale in desperate need of a change of scenery. The small town takes some getting used to, but local reporter Sabrina Spellman quickly grabs his attention. It's the fresh start he needed until Greendale's residents start turning up dead. With a murderer on the loose, no one is innocent - and anyone might be next. AU/AH - Rated Mature - Chapters 29/29 - COMPLETED 7/22/2019

20. “Bring You Close To Me”

Author: BridgetMcKennitt

Summary: Sabrina and her friends managed to bring Nicholas back from Hell. There was a lot the two of them needed to discuss, but tonight, they had this. Rated E Mature - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Last Update 7/13/2019

21. “A Brief Moment”

Author: bunivy

Summary: Ever since he's returned from Hell, Nicholas Scratch has been having nightmares. With help from Aunt Hilda, Sabrina unknowingly shows him a light and for a moment, Nicholas knows everything will be okay. Rated General - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Last Update 6/24/2019

22. “To Hell and Back”

Author: swtnerdgirl

Summary: A year has passed since Sabrina and her friends rescued Nick from Hell. No one came back the same. They all had their scars. Some emotionally. Some physically. In the days leading to Hilda's wedding, they all prepare for their lives to change and heal their wounds. Rated Mature - Chapters 16/? - Last Update 6/06/2019

23. “Dead Witch Walking”

Author: rayo aka @its-nabrina-bitch​

Summary: Faced with the possibility of being harrowed to death by her classmates, Sabrina finds an escape. Rated E Mature - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Last Update 5/26/2019

24. “Moonlight Beneath Rough Lips”

Author: ivylikeveins

Summary: After the encounter with the thirteen witches of Greendale, Sabrina enters the dining hall with moonlight locks bathed in soft blue hues, and Nick does not know what to do. He ends up with a soft and small Sabrina pressed into his chest, sleeping, and wrapped around his very much over-sized jacket with Nick's lips pressed into the soft, pearly strands he wants his soul to get entangled within. Rated Mature - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Last Update 5/19/2019

25. “The Hunt”

Author: OnlyInAutumn

Summary: Nick howled into the night, up at the stars to signify that he was ready on the eve of Lupercalia, the darkness of midnight around them. The first sound of the horn sent them into the forest. The hunt had begun. Rated E Mature - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Last Update 5/11/2019

26. “Secrets, Secrets are no Fun”

Author: filmharlot

Summary: Sabrina is the new kid for the first time in her life. Choosing to go to the Academy full-time seems to be a hard transition than she was expecting. With the Weird Sisters harassment at an all-time high, dealing with leaving her mortal friend's and condescending teachers, Sabrina is suffering. She's not even allowed to have Salem for comfort. It's not all bad though. She is finally free to do magic whenever she wants, and there's a charming warlock who is being particularly nice to her. Plus, someone is leaving kind gifts on her bed at the end of the night. She just wishes she knew who it was. Not Rated - Chapters 1/? - Last Update 5/06/2019

27. “My only love sprung from my only hate”

Author: filmharlot

Summary: High School AU where Nick is based on the version of him that Sabrina creates in her dream during the Batibat episode. Harvey and Sabrina have broken up and don't want to work together on the Romeo and Juliet assignment in Drama class, so she ends up being partners with Nick AU - Not Rated - Chapters 7/? - Last Update 5/04/2019

28. “Unsettled Nighttime Creatures”

Author: mindlesshappy

Summary: We all know Sabrina is going to save Nick. This is how Nick reacts to being saved - which, spoilers alert - is like a very stupid warlock. Rated Teen - Chapters 5/5 - Completed 4/25/2019

29. “Selfless”

Author: sarahwut

Summary: Sabrina Spellman dragged Nicholas Scratch back from Hell. But Hell might be better than a world in which they aren't together. Rated General - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Completed 4/23/2019

30. “Homecoming”

Author: cherrystems

Summary: After several months Sabrina is able to get Nick back from Hell with the help of her family and friends. However, Nick has to adjust to Earth again while dealing with PTSD and anxiety. This tells the story of the growth of Sabrina and Nick's relationship over the recovery time. Not Rated - Chapters 3/? - Last Update 4/20/2019

31. “Under Your Spell”

Author: londonmarie

Summary: Sabrina doesn't hesitate to have her Dark Baptism and things go differently. Rated Teen - Chapters 10/? - Last Update 4/18/2019

32. “Photographs”

Author: Greyowl9831

Summary: It's been at least 150 years since Sabrina signed her name in the Book of the Beast. One day she finds an old photo album. Will the memories it contains be a great walk down memory lane or will it be more than she can bare? Not Rated - Chapters 4/? - Last Update 4/14/2019

33. “An itch That Needed Scratching”

Author: umbrellacorp

Summary: What if Nick slayed his familiar and Sabrina and Nick got to experience the last night of the Lupercalia festival alone. Tonight, Sabrina would be transformed. Nick was going to show her power that she never knew she had, an innate carnal power. They were about to become the most powerful union of the Church of Night. Rated E Mature - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Last Update 4/13/2019

34. “and I keep waiting (but I won’t say I’m waiting)”

Author: lost_n_stereo @lost-n-stereo​

Summary: You would think that it would hurt less as the days go by, since it’s been nearly two years since Nick sacrificed himself for the greater good and Lilith took him to hell. Except, he didn’t sacrifice himself for the greater good, he sacrificed himself for her. And that makes it a hell of a lot tougher to let go. Rated General - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Last Update 4/10/2019

35. “The Four Pictures”

Author: Copper_16

Summary: It’s been 10 years. Nick and Sabrina are teachers at the Academy along with some familiar faces. It’s been a decade there can’t be that much chaos anymore, right? Wrong. Rated Teen - Chapters 3/? - Last Update 4/09/2019

36. “Fire”

Author: OnlyInAutumn

Summary: Their power—together—was overwhelming. It was something that she had not felt either, the consuming feeling of expanding power. It was entirely addicting. Rated Mature - Chapters 2/2 - Completed 3/24/2019

37. “something I can believe”

Author: Anry

Summary: Missing scene after Sabrina's baptism. I wouldn't say that it's really a relationship here, just conversation. Rated General - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Last Update 1/25/2019

AND THERE YOU GO AGAIN!!!

Everyone please make sure to leave love through the comments and giving kudos to all these amazing writers who have worked so hard on giving on Nabrina fics, because of course without them the wait for Part 3 would be so much harder. 

But honestly these writers work so hard on these stories they truly deserve the encouragement and love for the hard work in writing they do. Giving a simple “I love the chapter, can’t wait for more” will keep them going.

So make sure to say how much you love their writing or even what you liked about the story/chapter or just by passing their stories to other fellow Nabrina Shippers or just CAOS fans. 

If anyone has any other suggestions for the list feel free to message me anytime :).

Again! ENJOY

#Nabrina #Nicbrina #Sabrina Spellman #Nick Scratch #Nicholas Scratch #CAOS #Chilling Adventures of Sabrina #Nabrina Fics

[isitthescreaming20syet]

Do all the numbers you coward

– disclaimer: i did this at like late at night o’clock, while trying to avoid my fourth breakdown that hour. and i didn’t have my glasses on. so . if there’s any spelling errors that i didn’t catch, let me know.–

ok cool. imma just pick a post and go at it then.

1. what colour are you’re eyes?

Usually they’re like a green/brown ig?

2. do you like your name? why?

Yes, I love my name. I picked it myself with the help of some of my friends. It comes from a couple different book characters who are both super strong physically and emotionally and they’re honestly an inspiration to me.

3. what is your relationship status?

…. single as fuck man. Is it too much to ask for a guy who is sweet and not pushy and bigger than me so I can steal his hoodies and be swamped in them??

4. describe your personality in 3 words or less

“another fucking breakdown??”

5. what colour hair do you have?

currently a really gross red, (well I think it’s gross but i just don’t like reds) but on Thursday I finally re-dye it and im gonna go green!!

6. how would you describe your style?

either I pull smth out of the drawer in the morning and hope it goes together, or I spend three weeks planning it.

7. what size bed do you have?

P sure it’s a queen? my dog manages to take up half of it and he’s the size of a bread loaf.

8. any siblings?

Ye, two half sisters!! 

9. favourite t.v. show?

The Umbrella Academy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10. describe your dream date

uhhhhh, smth outside? like a picnic. at night, but with plenty of lights. and star gazing!!!! bc spACE!!!

11. what colour socks are you wearing?

uh… one crew that’s white and purple and one ankle that blue and white…. 

12. how many pillows do you sleep with?

trick question!! I don’t sleep with pillows. I use throw/travel blankets and stuffed animals. I do have two pillows on my bed, but they’re for my dog to sleep on.

13. do you have a job? what do you do?

I do! I just started a week or so ago and I make drinks! ISTG IF SOMEONE ORDERS ONE MORE GODDAMN MINI SLUSHI IM GONNA KILL A MAN.

14. how many friends do you have?

hhhhh, i think i have abt 0. but in reality i probably have 10ish actual friends?

15. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?

I’ve done plenty of shitty things but im not in a good place to answer this one rn.

16. what’s your favourite candle scent?

Another trick question! i despise candles and nearly anything that has a smell. good or bad.

17. three favourite boy names?

Klaus bc my boiiiiiiiiii

Ethan istg anyone i know irl brings this up you will regret it

Ashton

18. three favourite girl names?

ooooo boyyy,

Claire

Isabella (spanish pronounciation obv)

Vanya bc yk i had to make another reference but also it’s rlly pretty and just look at it!!

19. who is your celebrity crush?

ik it’s basic but cole sprouse is the first one that comes to mind.

20. do you read a lot? what’s you favourite book?

yes I read all the time bc reADING IS GOOD @dodo-likes-to-tumbl

my favourite book is probably Six of Crows.

21. top 10 favourite songs?

hhhooooohhhhhhhhkkkayyyyy not really any particular order:

1) Istanbul by They Might be Giants

2) Roaring 20s by P!atD

3) I Wait by Day6

4) Monster by EXO

5) Choke by IDKHBTFM

6)Tempo by EXO

7) Awkward Silence by Stray Kids

8) Chained Up by VIXX

9) Singularity by BTS

10) Get Cool by Stray Kids

22.  What is your biggest fear?

another one that im not able to answer at this time.

23. What’s your go to hairstyle/

Literally don’t have one. I get out of bed, get dressed, and go to school. I don’t do anything.

24. who is your role model?

Idk. I don’t really have one. I really look up to my sister, Ella, a lot. 

25. what was the last compliment you received?

idk, the most recent one I remember was my moms friends mom was going on about my hair colour even though I hate it and we were literally standing by the hair dye in walmart looking at new colours when she walked up and interrupted.

26. What was the last text you sent?

Confirming smth for a talent show group im gonna be a part of.

27. How old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? (if this is a shock or a spoiler for you, you’re either wayyy too young for this site or wayy too stupid) 

I was probably about 5 or 6? I had a lot of cousins who were older than me who liked to spoil things. I was able to convince my parents I still believed until I was about 11 tho.

28. what is your dream job?

Dream job? I thought I’d be dead in the trunk of a car by now!!

not really, but uhh idk

29. how many pictures do you have on your phone?

Idfk? five years worth ig?

30. have you ever peed in the woods?

Wtf kinda question is this? but yeah when I was younger. like 4-7 ish maybe?

31. Do you still watch cartoons?

Tbh not nearly as often as I’d like. I love Gravity Falls and I wanna get into Steven Universe, though from what I’ve seen it’s not a cartoon it’s art. 

32. Favourite dipping sauce?

no

33. What do you wear to bed?

Sweat pants and a hoodie

34. Have you ever won a spelling bee?

Nah mate. I can’t spell for shit.

35. what are your hobbies?

crying in the dark instead of doing my hw.

36. tea or coffee?

yes

37. are you going to change your last name when you get married?

hah “when”! idk if I do get married I’ll probably hyphenate or steal my sisters idea and do some sort of mash up of the last names, kinda like a ship name.

38.  do you believe in ghosts?

meh

39. what’s your biggest pet peeve?

People

40. the last person you called?

I facetimed @panickingposters

41. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

hah GAY

42.  what shirt are you wearing?

damn another trick question! I’m wearing my PFTW Tour hoodie.

43. what is your phone background?

lock screen is FoB lyrics - “ I love the world, i just don’t love the way it makes me feel”

and home screen is a space edit of the trans flag.

44. do you like it when ppl play with your hair?

As long as they do it right @goodmorningchicago

45. have you ever been drunk?

no but i wish i was

46. favourite lyrics rn?

“Like awkward silence..

caw

caw

caw”

47. summer or winter?

autumn

48. day or night?

sleep during the day, everything else at night

49. dark, milk or white chocolate?

k first of all? white chocolate isn’t even fucking chocolate. so that ones out.

second, milk chocolate is just sugar and milk. also out

Dark it is!!

50. who was the last person you cried in front of?

My therapist earlier today

#long post #this was.. fun #only took me 40 min.. but thats fine lol

[daisydezem]

Don't do drugs! Please!

Some might find it weird that I'm posting this but I need to share. Tw drugs! I need to tell someone, anyone.This is my 29th hour awake in a row so bare with me if my English is a bit shaky.

As you might have seen the last week I took a little break from posting because of some real life stuff. And I want to share with you all what it was/is.

So for context: my parents are divorced, they got remarried and got kids again. On my dads side I got a brother when I was 11 and a sister when I was 13. So we have an age gap. I lived with my mom and was at my dads 1 weekend in 2 weeks. So I never really grew up there...

My brother is a 16 now and actually a good guy but he also wants the be cool. But he got with the wrong crowd. Last year he stole my dads car to do a joyride. He had been using drugs when he was supposed to sit in school. Disappeared for nights only to get back after he was high. All the stress about what and where.... there wasn't a proper night of sleep for months.

Last Wednesday we had a sort of intervention. He would try to do better. Friday on Saturday he stay out all night again without saying anything. My dad called me again crying... I told him to lock the doors and let him stay with his friends if he wanted it so badly. I was just done with everything. On which my dad said: I can't... if I do he'll end up somewhere dead in the gutter.

Later yesterrday(saturday) he got home, acting like he did nothing wrong. So my dad got pissed. Rightfully so. Again he had stayed away without saying anything until the next day so they had fight(with words mind you). Some what later my sister wanted to go to a Halloween thing with friends so my dad and stepdad brought her there. When they got back home, my brother was gone... again.

Calling didnt help because just wouldn't pick up. So they went to bed. At around 1:40 am they heard knockin. Finally he got home, they thought. But instead of my brother there were 2 policemen. This wasn't the first time that that happened so my dad asked them: arrested or accident? But they replied with: please have a seat. As you might know... that's not good.

At this time I was at home still streaming and having fun. Just a few minutes after my stream ended I got a phone call from my dad at 2 am(ish). He was crying and I couldn't understand what he was saying. The only thing I heard was: hospital, emergency room (idk what's it called in english) and my brothers name. Told my dad to sit tight and try to calm down and I would be right there(half an hour drive).

When I got there my dad and stepmom were crying their faces of. So I asked what happened because i didn't see my brother anywhere. She told me: he mixed a few types of drugs. Became unconscious and stopped breathing. They reanimated him for a period of time and luckily he started to breath on his own again. But 5 minutes without blood being pumped to your brains is a very long time. He is now kept at the hospital. They lowered his temperature and keeping him asleep for at least 24 hours. And then they are going to see if he might wake up.

Everything is possible. From him not making it at all to him waking up tomorrow with nothing wrong. Him waking up but having so much damage to the brain he wouldn't be who he was or other things. But at this point we would be happy if he just opened his eyes.

Sorry for sharing everything here I just needed to share. And like I say in the title thing. Please don't do drugs. But if you do please use it in a safe environment.

#nonsims #personal #tw: drugs

[pillowfluffs]

Best Friend!Baekyun

Part 1 of 2

genre: fluff

pairing: Baekhyun x Reader (female)

Part 2

Byun Baekhyun. One of the best people you’ve ever encountered in your life. Ever since your mothers met each other while dropping the both of you off at daycare, a friendly relationship bloomed and continued to present day, you just turned 24 and he just turned 25. 

(It’s fate, you both have the same birthday). You woke up to the sun shining brightly through your white curtains after a long night of partying and celebrating with both of your guys’ friends. You feel a slight pounding in your head as the effect of alcohol from last night’s shots kicking back in. You rubbed your head, yawning, and reached over to the drawers next to your bed and pulled out some Advil. After taking the Advil, you laid back down and pulled your phone out from under your pillow. Notifications of “Happy Birthday Y/N!” messages from relatives overseas filled your phone. Text messages and snaps from other friends made your phone light up every 2 minutes. You rolled out of bed after scrolling through your phone for a few minutes and started your day. Today was the first you were 24. A month or two later and all the schools would be on break. You were brushing your teeth, “blasting” music from your phone, thinking back to some funny memories from last night until you got a text.

BB: “GM”

Of course, it was Baek, he always texted you good morning and good night. It was an unofficially made precedent. But you never complained ;)

YOU: “gm”

You put down your phone and continued on with your morning routine; brushing your hair, getting dressed for whatever errand or objective you set yourself, but for the first time in forever, you had nothing. You went back to your room to water your (almost dead) plants when your phone vibrated in your hand.

BB: “Yo, are you doing anything today?”

YOU: “for once, no”

YOU: “why?”

BB: “same”

BB: “do you wanna get breakfast?”

YOU: “sure. where tho?”

BB: “mm”

BB: “ooh, ik this new place that opened up and i saw some pretty good reviews about it”

YOU: “okay”

BB: “then pick you up in 15”

You turned off your phone and a smile grew on your face. As long as you’ve known Baekhyun and no matter how many sides of him you’ve seen, good or bad, there was always something about him that attracted you to him. The way he smiled and laughed and said things just made you want to hug him. Never once would you hang out with him and not be in a bad mood. Unless he was in a bad mood, which was rare-ish. The next thing you know, you’re in your closet picking out a cute, but casual outfit. So many choices, what to do what to do. Was it windy today? Chilly? Hot? Cloudy? Should you dress fancy? Or casual? Ugh, you wished Baek told you about the cafe more. You pulled out your phone to check the weather and saw that 7 minutes had already passed. SHI(O)T. You quickly pulled out your classic black jeans and your new baby blue short sleeved shirt. You looked into your full body length mirror and fixed your hair. You grabbed your wallet and waited by the door until Baek texted you his presence. A few minutes passed when you were just scrolling through your phone when you got a text.

BB: “here”

BB: “betch”

You clicked on the message notification and went to messages. As you were about to text your sassy clap back remark, he texted again.

BB: “jkjk pls dont kill me”

And there it was again. His usual funny charm that never failed to make you smile. You quickly replied while slipping on your white vans

YOU: “B*TCHH”

YOU: “coming”

You grabbed your keys form your key basket and left your apartment. You went down the stairs from your apartment to see the familiar white Cherokee. He was on his phone when he glanced up as you were walking towards the car. He instantly smiled, waved, and rolled down the winder.

“Get in loser, we’re going to breakfast,” he laughed. “Good morning.”

You just gave him your classic what the.. Look while getting in.

“Hi,” you said. You saw that he was wearing the same type of clothes.. Actually, he was wearing black jeans, black vans, a white shirt below with a blue sweater with his sleeves rolled up and a watch. You just focused ahead as he drove. Smiling and looking out the window, you did your occasional glance at your phone. You turned back and started talking when you feel yourself calm down a little.

“So how far is this new cafe?” you finally broke the silence.

“Mm, not too far, it’s a few blocks away from the company,” one hand on the steering wheel, the other rubbing his chin. Their new song universe was playing softly in the background.

“Have fun last night?” he smiled at you.

“Yeah, it was bigger than I thought, honestly,” you looked back outside, passing by the familiar streets. “I woke up with a small headache though.. Did you have a hangover?”

“Surprisingly, no,” he shook his head.

“Lucky,” you pouted. Baekhyun just smiled to himself from how cute you were unintentionally being. It was the same for him too. Ever since that one time he saw you asleep on your textbook when he dropped by, just the way you looked made his heart flutter. He always admired how hardworking and studious you were. He never thought he would ever fall for his best friend like those cliche stories and movies, but here he was, falling for you more and more as time went by. Oh how he wished he could just reach over and hold your hand, but he couldn’t. He knew you didn’t reciprocate his feelings. You confirmed it yourself when he asked you if you were interested in anyone. Of course you said no though, how could you confess then and there? Especially with how shy you were sometimes. But little did he know that you did reciprocate the feelings, just as much. Plus, he knew that there was a long list of other guys that he found out were interested in you, but you never paid attention to them. Of course you didn’t. You had some high standards when it came to guys. Heck, they were so high that it even made Baekhyun doubt his looks. You reached for the radio and turned up the music. Universe played louder at Baek’s verse and you just silently sang along with him. He glanced over and smiled, his heart beat faster in his chest. He sang out and tried his best to sing enough so you would sing out too. Even though you didn’t admit it to yourself, he always knew you had a lovely voice. It was always gentle and soft and ohwefouwefh he just wanted to hug you and squish you. You made him so soft.

“I’m guessing you like our new album?” He raised his voice over the music slightly

“I love it,” you smiled. As the song ended, you finally arrived at the cafe and Baek parked right in front.

“Shilla,” you looked up at the sign and looked into the cafe. There was barely anyone there but it’s understandable since it just opened like half an hour ago.

“Ready to go in?” Baekhyun pointed to the doors locking his car. You looked over and nodded. You both walked forward together towards the entrance.

“Hey!” Baekhyun turned towards you, surprised.

“What?”

“We look like a couple,” he laughed and gestured at both of your outfits.

“Yeah..” you said quietly. A blush slowly glowing onto your face.

He opened the door for you and walked in. The cool breeze of the air conditioning chilled you a bit, but it was okay.

“Let’s sit here,” he gestured to the table further in. “I can go order for both of us. They have your favorite here.”

“Okay,” you sat with your arms folded in your lap, you were a bit chilly. “Wait, but I need to pay,” you were standing up.

“No, no, no, no, no,” he came back and sat your back down. “Breakfast is on me today,” he smiled his signature smile that you prayed would never fade.

“Oh, are you sure?”

“Yes, now sit,” he pointed downwards. You saw him turn to walk back towards the entrance but turned left to the register. You sat there and was on your phone, snapping your streaks and scrolling through Instagram. You were feeling colder and colder until you feel something warm wrap around your shoulders. You looked back up to see Baekhyun standing behind you, hands on your shoulders as he wrapped one of his jackets around you.

“Oh, thank you,” you put your arms through the sleeves.

“No, problem, I noticed you were cold when we walked in.” He went back to the register and walked back to the table with two hot drinks.

“I got your favorite,” he set down the drinks and napkins and sat across from you.

“They have all my favorites here,” you smiled “Both food and person,” you thought to yourself. “This might just be my new favorite cafe.” You smiled and brought your drink to your lips. The refreshing smell of your latte filled your nose. “Mmm, this is so good,” you smiled.

“This is definitely my new favorite.”

You paused for a brief moment until you finally spoke up.

“How come you don’t have a schedule today?” you asked curiously. “I figured since you recently had this album released, and considering you’re one of the top groups in Korea, the last thing you should be doing is nothing.”

“Well..” and just from the tone of his voice, you knew he did something he shouldn’t have. “That’s the thing..”

“What is?” You stared at him. “Baek?” You lowered your head to get into his line of sight.

“I technically do have a schedule.. And it’s the busiest one of the year,” he rubbed the back of his neck.

Your eyes grew big at this. You knew how much trouble he would get in when he got back, especially since he did this last year too and you didn’t hear from him for a few weeks.

“Baekhyun, you shouldn’t have done this. Oh my gosh,” your mouth was agape in shock.

“But, I wanted to be with you,” he put on his puppy face. The face he knew was your ultimate weakness. “Plus, our manager doesn’t really know I’m gone. The guys are covering for me,” You could’ve melted right then and there but you stood your ground.

“Wha- But they’re not dumb enough to not ignore your absence. Plus, we were together last night!”

‘But I wanted to be alone, Y/N!” He sighed. “Please, just don’t worry about me and my soon to come punishment. just-“

You were taken back a bit at his sudden exclamation.

“Why, though?” You cut him off. “We see each other often, but today, you shouldn’t have ditched your schedule.”

“Because Y/N…” He paused, staring into your eyes.

~~~~~

gif not mine!

I hope you all enjoyed! and I’ll be posting part 2 tomorrow around this same time

Masterlist

#byun baekhyun #baekhyun #exo imagine #exo scenarios #kpop #pillowfluffs #exo fluff

[musicofthenightphantomoftheopera]

Solangelo Headcanon Based Fics

sooooooooooooooooooooo. As you know I kinda sorta got hooked on writing Solangelo Headcannons and I've been thinking about turning a few them into full scale short-ISH fics all day today. It's currently 11:14 P.M. at the time I'm writing this and I decided "why the hell not?" sooo lets get to it! This is gonna be the first of a few as I come up with them. I know that a few are very long winded, but last time I checked, I normally write that way. Heheh......instead of giving you guys fanfiction fuel, I accidentally gave myself fanfiction fuel! XD

sooooooooooo here goes nothing!

Fic #1 Based on my very first headcanon. I call this one "Black Rose Admirer"

Will nonchalantly strolled out of the Infermary after a thankfully slow day. Once he was far enough away, he checked his pockets and pulled out a small pouch containing Thirteen golden drachmas. Will let out a sigh of relief "Good." he whispered under his breath, "Still there." He had been waiting all day for this ever since he got word from the Demeter cabin that their Roses were finally in bloom! A few weeks ago, he bribed the Demeter kids to grow Thirteen black roses for him. When one asked who they were for, he just said it was for "someone special." No hints of weather it was a romantic someone, or for a friend. But Will knew exactly who they were for. He's had his eye on this boy for quite a while now. The mysterious Son of Hades, who only spent Three days in the infirmary with him, and suddenly made Will a little hot under the collar whenever he thought about him. It was the Raven haired Italian prince of death, Nico di Angelo. And what an Angel he was (to Will, anyway). Will didn't want anybody to know what he was doing, just in case it didn't work out. However, if it did, oh boy was he going to shout it from the rooftops! But for now a black ops secret admirer mission would have to do (pun intended). Going into full stealth mode, he was determined to get to the Demeter cabin completely unnoticed. If anybody caught him with a huge bouquet of roses in his hand, demigods would be asking left and right about who has the Head Medic of Camp Half-Blood love-struck enough to buy flowers for. Pretty much the last thing he needs today. Without too much trouble, and by some miracle, Will was able to make it over to the cabin without getting caught. He saw a girl with wild and wavy red hair and green eyes fiddling with a pair of well worn hedge clippers, obviously trying to get them back in working order. The girl looked up as she saw Will coming over. "Well, Well, Well." she said as a gentle smile graced her freckled face, "If it isn't my favorite Apollo kid." "Hey, Lilly." Will waved awkwardly. "Let me guess. You're here for the roses, aren't you?" Lilly got up and dusted herself off. Will nodded. "Come with me." She grabbed Will's hand and lead him toward the amazing garden that the Demeter kids all grew together. Every kind of flower, fruit, vegetable, and berry you can think of! You name it, they had it! Including the Iconic strawberries that kept the camp running, when picked and sold by the truck load. Lilly lead Will towards the flower section of the garden where Will could see roses blooming in every color! Ironically, Hyacinth flowers grew nearby. Will remembered how his dad, Apollo created the flower from one of his many lovers, the Spartan Prince, Hyacinthus. Zephyr, the west wind , was also in love with Hyacinthus and instead of dealing with his emotions properly, he decided that if he couldn't have him, no one could. So Zephyr decided to murder Hyacinthus by shifting the winds and causing a discus to fly into his head. Apollo turned Hyacinthus into that flower to preserve his life and beauty forever and wrote tragic poetry onto the petals. The one time when his dad was actually good at poetry at all. Will hoped and prayed to the gods that the same thing wouldn't happen to him. The thought was jolted from his mind when he saw a tiny section of the rainbow of roses blocked off. "Here we are!" Lilly announced in a singsong voice, "So What do you think?". There they were. 13 roses in full velvety black splendor glittering with droplets of dew on the biggest petals. Will stared in awe at the amazing flowers. Lilly had truly outdone herself this time. "I had to import the soil from Turkey, which is the only place they grow naturally." She explained, "It took a little more TLC than most of my roses, but it was so worth it!" Will gave Lily a big hug in excited gratitude. "Oh my gods, Lilly! These are perfect!" Will exclaimed. "Aw, shucks." Lilly's cheeks turned a soft shade of pink, "But, honestly. Would you expect anything less from me?" It was a known fact the Lilly was the keeper of the roses in the flower section of the garden. Her roses were the best of the best, and you best believe that she made a killing off of them once February rolled around at camp. Those roses were her children and she took great pride in them. Lilly took out a smaller pair of clippers used to pick flowers from the garden from her dress pocket. She began to pick the black roses one by one until they were all in her hand. Will followed her inside the cabin where she wrapped up the roses in silvery grey plastic wrap and tied it all together with a long piece of black ribbon into a neat and tidy bow. "I can't thank you enough for this." said Will as he got out the red pouch from his pocket and held it out for Lilly to take from him. "Here." he said with a grateful smile, "One for each rose." Lilly smiled and shook her head. Will stared at her, understandably confused. "Oh, no you don't, Solace." Lilly handed the freshly made bouquet to Will, "This one's on the house." "Wait, seriously?" Will asked. "Yeah!" Lilly exclaimed, "It's the least I could do! You healed up my hand good as new after that copperhead bit me a couple weeks ago. We're square, buddy!" Will sighed "You're a lifesaver!" "Actually," Lilly corrected, "You would technically be the lifesaver." Will was going to retort, but Lilly cut him off before he could. "Now go win over your Prince of Darkness!" Lilly turned him around and gave him a friendly shove. 'oh no.' Will thought. "You knew?!" he tried to whisper in a panic. "Actually, I kinda just guessed" Lilly shrugged. "How?!" Will started to get a little apprehensive. "Gee, let's see," Lilly began in a sarcastic tone as she put a hand on her hip and a finger to her chin, "Who wears the color black all the time, has black hair and lives in a big cabin made of black obsidian?" Will turned a rosie shade of red. "Is it that obvious?" Will asked, trying to hide his reddish face. "Don't worry, Will. I promise I won't tell anyone." She raised her right hand. "I swear it on the River Styx." Thunder rumbled in the distance. Will let out a sigh of relief. At least he could trust Lilly with his little secret. "Thanks, Lilly." Lilly put her hands on his shoulders. "No problem. Now get to the Hade's cabin, pronto!" Lilly shoved Will out of the Demeter cabin, and walked back over to the hedge clippers to try and get the darn things working again. Will felt solar flares going off in his stomach instead of butterflies. Contrary to popular belief, he's never done anything remotely romantic before. But here he was, about to pull the oldest trick in the book, by leaving a bouquet of roses at the doorstep of the boy he liked. Will steadied himself and took a deep breath. 'Here goes nothing." he thought. He walked past all the cabins until he stopped dead in his tracks in front of his destination. There it was, Cabin 13. The home of the children of Hades. A big imposing looking building, with walls made of black obsidian. A giant skull hung over the doorway and torches carrying green fire burned 24 hours a day. Will had to admit, it sure did leave an impression. This was it. The moment of truth. Will's hands were shaking like a leaf and his knees slowly started to buckle, his heart began to pound in his ears. He started having second thoughts, but quickly punched those second thoughts in the proverbial face and steadied himself again. He walked up the steps to stop right at the humungous doors that if he didn't know any better, could lead straight into the Underworld. Will took a deep breath, and prayed to the gods that Nico would be in there. He raised his fist, and knocked on the door Three times. At first, nothing happened. Then after what seemed like forever, he heard a voice from inside the cabin. "Coming!" 'OH SNAP!' Will screamed in his mind. he gently placed the flowers in front of the door, sprinted down the stairs, and dove into a nearby bush. He peaked through the leaves just in time to see Nico open the giant black door. Will's heart was beating so loudly in his ears, he had no idea how Nico couldn't hear it. His olive skin glowed in the sunlight. His silky raven hair was messy as usual, but always managed to look gorgeous anyway. Nico walked out and looked side to side to find no one there. He looked down at his feet and was in complete disbelief at what he saw. A large bouquet of 13 velvety black roses in full bloom. Will watched with unblinking eyes in anticipation to see how Nico would react. Upon closer inspection, Nico discovered a small card tied to the black ribbon holding the bouquet together. He opened it, but it didn't say who it was from. All that was there was a golden Lyre emblazoned on the card. The symbol of Apollo. Nico's eyes widened, his cheeks started turning a lovely shade of red. And then, something completely unexpected happened. Nico di Angelo smiled. Although it was a tiny one, Will could tell it was definitely a smile. Nico quickly looked around again in case the mysterious admirer was around. With no such luck, Nico took the flowers and sped back inside the cabin, closing the giant black door behind him. Will snuck out of the bush once he saw the coast was clear. 'YES!' he whisper shouted in his mind. He did a little happy dance before heading off to dinner. That night, when he scraped his offering into the brasier, he made the a sacrifice to both Aprhodite and his dad, Apollo for extra luck in his further romantic endeavors in an effort to win the heart of the illusive Prince of Darkness. He treated himself with two chocolate chunk cookies that night to congradulate himself on a job well done, for phase one of his plan was complete.

#solangelo #solangelo headcanon #solangelo fanfiction #percy jackson #percy jackson headcanon #Nico di Angelo #Will solace #Italian prince of death #sunshine boy #prince of darkness #shipping #otp #otp headcanons #black roses #secret admirer #trials of apollo #apollo #hades #demeter

[so-langelo]

The Best Of Me Is You

Title: Fingers crossed- Billie Ellish 

 Trying this AU that i thought about at 1 am and didn't let me sleep until 3 i swear i’ve wanted to try out angst for a while so tell me what you think

au based on the last couple-ish episodes of Season 1 of decendants of the sun And i hope you guys like it Ari xxx

When you're dating a Captain of a United States Special Forces Unit, you have to get used to a lot of things. 

Will Solace was used to his boyfriend, Nico, being gone for weeks without a word. He was used to their dates being interupted by a call for a mission. He was used to worrying to his wits and promises of a quick return. 

Because Will knew somewhere out there Nico was saving the lives of millions. He was a hero that was keeping the peace in some distant country. 

When you’re dating a Captain of a United States Special Forces Unit, you have to know that they might not come home one day. 

That was something Will could not get used to. 

Will knew something was up when Nico was two hours early for their date. 

Will was still on duty in the hospital when he was paged to office because he had a visitor. Only one person visited him to his job, so Will excitedly bounded to his office like a child on a sugar rush. He opened his door and was greeted with the sight of his boyfriend in full military uniform. 

That’s when Will realized that this wasn’t a regular visit from his boyfriend and his heart sunk, but he quickly covered it up with a smile. “Hey, handsome. You get all dressed up for just for me?” 

Nico laughed, which was definetly a sight for the sore eyes. “I know how much you love me in my uniform.” 

Instead of replying, Will placed a long, sweet kiss to his boyfriend’s pink lips. 

He pulled away, breathless. “Mission again?”

Nico hummed in agreement, placing a lingering kiss on Will’s jaw. 

“How long?” Will dreaded to hear the answer. 

That’s when Nico straightened. “Longer than usual.” 

On a regular mission, Nico was gone for two weeks at the most, so Will tried to hide his sadness. “Three weeks? A month?”

“Three. I promise I’ll be back in time for Christmas.” 

Will felt the words stop in his throat. Three? They can make it work. They’ve been through worse than distance. 

“When are you leaving?”, Will said softly, with eyes that couldn’t reach Nico’s. 

Nico ran a thumb on Will’s chin and met their eyes. “In a four hours or so. I wanted to say goodbye.”

Few words were exchanged in the next few hours. All the I’ll-miss-you’s were tucked in every embrace. All the I-love-you’s were exchanged with every touch of their lips and the dance of their fingers across each other’s skin.  

Will waited. 

Winter came and Will was still waiting. His days were filled extra shifts at the hospital and training new doctors. 

Will waited. 

The snow began to melt and pale flowers began to bloom and Will was still waiting. Everyday he texted Nico about his day and asked about his day. Everyday he was left with no reply. 

He worried, of course, but Will was an optimistic person by default. With each passing day, his hope that Nico was going to come home only grew. 

It was a warm April day. That morning he texted Nico that the birds have left many special gifts on his windshield and asked how he was doing. Will waited for his reply while eating his cereal. 

That April day was a busy one at the hospital. Will finally caught his breath after 5 straight hours of working. He took his lunch break in the cafeteria and ate with nurses, Kayla Knowles and Austin Lake. 

Austin was telling a compelling story about this one patient when the intercom interrupted them. “Paging, Dr. Solace to his office. Paging, Dr. Solace to his office. You have a visitor. ” 

The two nurses smirked at him. “Romeo’s finally back, huh?”

Will didn’t wait to reply; he was already sprinting to his office with rapture. 

Millions of thoughts raced through his head, but all he could focus on was his beautiful boyfriend that he hadn’t seen in almost seven month. 

Finally. He’s home.

Will’s hands were shaking with adrenaline as he opened the door to his office. 

But behind the door wasn’t his dark haired boyfriend. A familiar face, but not his boyfriend. He was face to face with Jason Grace.

Jason was a sergent in Nico’s Speacial Forces Unit and one of Nico’s closest friends. Jason was a nice guy, so Will tried to hide his disappointment.

“Jason, hey. I thought you were Nico. What brings you here?”, Will smiled at the tall blond.

Jason swallowed, voice thick. “I am very... sorry.”

Will’s smile was replaced with confusion. “What for? what happened, Jason?”

Jason couldn’t bring himself to look Will in the eye. “Special Forces Captain Nico di Angelo passed away on a tactical mission over seas on March 24.”

Will didn’t know what happened next. He must have heard Jason wrong. He had to have heard Jason wrong. 

No. No. 

“I don’t understand.” Will’s vision was clouded. 

“I’m sorry, Will. He’s gone.” Jason’s voice sounded choked. 

Will’s knees buckled from uner him and felt strong arms pull him in a hug. Will heard a gutteral scream; it took him a few moments to realize that was him. 

Will felt the tears stream down his face. His throat felt hoarse. He threw a punch at Jason’s chest. He kept punching because no Nico couldn’t be gone. 

Jason took hit after hit. His own blue eyes were spilling out their own fair share of tears. 

“No...” Will wasn’t sure if it came out as a whisper or a yell.

Before Jason left, he handed Will a folded letter with a sad smile, “We wrote one before every mission and he wanted you to have this.”

“Wait, Jason.” Will noticed how his voice was quiet and barely a whisper. 

“Yeah?” Jason’s voice was still heavy.

“Did he die a hero saving lives?” Will’s voice chocked on the last word. 

Jason bit is lip and nodded, not trsuting his voice to speak. He waved goodbye once again and left. 

Will looked down at the letter. The paper was folded once with his name written in Nico’s neat slanted writing. 

Wiill’s hands were shaking as he unfolded the letter. 

Dear Will, 

I have prayed to whatever power that is above that you would never get this letter, but with the small chance that you do I’m going to start by saying sorry. 

I’m sorry that I broke my promises.

My promise to nevr hurt you. The promise to never make you cry. The promise to marry you someday. The promise to stay safe. The promise to stay with you forever. The promise to come back. 

I’m so so sorry, my love. Forgive me for hurting you. I’m sorry for everything. 

I’m a jerk for breaking all those promises and making you keep a promise for me, but please promise me that you’ll forget me and move on. That you’ll live a long happy life. That you won’t cry over me for long. 

Te amo, mio amore. 

With all my love,

Nico 

Will held the tear stained letter close to his broken heart, and the walls of his office echoed with the sobs of a man who lost his entire world. 

Will was a wreck. 

He looked horrible. He took a look in the mirror and stared at the person he saw. The sullen blue eyes that was surrounded with dark circles. The person looked like he lost too much weight in too little time. His skin had an unhealthy yellow hue to it and his limp blond hair clinged to his forehead. He looked totally unrecognizable. 

He took a sick leave from the hospital after that day and it’s been a four fucking days. He tried to desperately to stay in their his apartment and rest, but he just couldn’t. Everything reminded him of Nico too much. 

There was a constant burning ache in his chest as if someone replaced his heart with a bloulder. 

As Will was about to take a walk to get some air, he looked back at the apartment. A random, fuzzy memory flashed to in his mind.

Will and Nico went out to drink with Jason and his girlfriend, Piper.

Will got absoluetly smashed. His breath stunk of cheap alcohol and Nico was half carrying him. Even though Nico was a head shorter, with years of training, he carried Will easily. 

“You have such lovely eyes. Did anyone ver tell you you’re really pretty?”, Will peppered kisses on Nico’s jawline. 

“If this is how you are drunk, tesoro, you’re never drinking with another man.”, Nico laughed softly. 

When the two reached their share apartment, Will tried to keep his eyes open. He felt Nico gently place him on the couch. 

His eyes fluttered close and he slowly drifted to sleep, eyes occaionaly opening to see his boyfriend smiling fondly down at him. 

Will shook the memory out of his head before his eyes would start watering. 

“You can do this.” Will took a deep breath and exited the apartment. 

The sun was shining, but the air was chilly. Nico’s favorite kind of weather. 

His heart ached again, and Will quickly wiped his eyes. 

He went into a cafe and ordered a black coffee. He sat in an empty table in the back of the cafe and waited for his drink. 

He remembered this cafe. Him and Nico had a lot of memories in this cafe. 

“You know, I suddeny realize that we have never said I love you.” Will said, once sipping his sweet caramel coffee innocently. 

A soft blush decoracted Nico’s olive face. “Well, now that you bring it up. We haven’t.” 

Will took the steaming cup from Nico’s hands and and sipped it. 

“You put too much sugar in your coffee.”

“No I don’t, Will and looks who’s talking.” 

Will hummed in his coffee. 

“I love you, Nico.”

A small adorable smile appeared on Nico's lips. “I love you, too.” 

The waitress came with his coffee and said with eyes full of pity, “It’s on the house, Will.” 

He didn’t notice how the tears were already streaming down his face. 

Because Nico di Angelo is dead and Will Solace was alone.

Six months later, Will found himself again in the cafeteria with Kayla and Austin. 

Over the last few months, he sought comfort with them, Jason and Piper. They convinced Will to start eating more. To start coming back to work. To start living again. 

While Kayla and Austin were talking about these two rather difficult patients, Will found his mind wandering. 

He’s been gone for six months, and there wasn’t a day that passed that Will didn't miss him. 

“Paging, Dr. Solace to his office. Paging, Dr. Solace you have a visitor.” The intercom once again interrupted their lunch.

“Hey, Will. You didn’t finish your lunch, eat it in your office, okay?” Kayla pushed it towards him. 

“Okay, mom. I promise.” he took his sandwich and munched on it on the way to his office. It was proably Jason, dropping by to say a quick hello and updating him on Piper, now his fiance and pregnant. 

He opened the door and what he saw made him drop his food. 

There in front of his desk in all his glory stood Nico di Angelo, hair longer and his right arm in a cast. He had a small cut on his forehead. There was a tried look in his eyes, and it looked like he couldn’t stand properly on his left leg.Yet, with all these injuries, he still looked absolutely captivating. 

Nico smiled, “Hi.”

It was suddenly hard to breath. He sat down on the cold tiled floor. “I’m dreaming. I’m insane. You’re not really here.” 

“Mio amore. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for leaving you. I was captrued. I’m here. I’m back.” Nico was crouching n front of him, brushing stray hairs in front of his face. 

Will couldn’t talk. The sobs racked out of his throat. “Are you really here?” 

“Yes. Yes. I’m here, Will.”

The next hour or so was an emotional rollarcoaster for Will.

One minute he sobbed into Nico’s shoulder. 

The next, he was punching Nico’s chest with all his strength. 

As the anger faded, Will pushed Nico away, telling him he didn’t need him anymore , that he was going to swear off men for life. 

The next he was hugging Nico like his life depended on it. 

Nico took every punch, wiped away every tear, and embraced Will harder than he had ever before. 

When Nico shed tears, Will kissed them away. Both men just couldn’t believe  the other was here. 

The pair sat on the cold titled floors, softly crying and kissing each other with a sweet passon full of all the emotions that couldn’t be put in words. 

Will couldn’t remember the last time he felt so whole. 

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING

how was the angst pleasee tell me below

ik i should be doing request, but i couldn’t resist 

hope you guys liked it Ari xxx

special thanks to @remuslupinisthevoiceofgod

THANK YOU SO MUCH WITH THE HELP W THE ITALIAN 

#solangelo #solangelo fanfiction #will solace #nico di angelo #nico x will #will x nico #pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #hoo #heroes of olympus #toa #trials of apollo #ari tries to write

[phatjosh180]

RACE RECAP: Deseret News 10K

Oh, Pioneer Day! I used to kind of hate the holiday. Well, okay, hate is the wrong way of saying it — I love the reason why we celebrate the day — I just never thought we really needed TWO Fourth of Julys in the same month. This is completely derailing my race recap, but I don’t care — this is my blog. I just wish we came up with something a bit more original in celebrating Pioneer Day instead of copy and pasting the Fourth. Keep the fireworks, ditch the parade (all parades really) and give us better food than hot dogs and homemade potato salad.

Anyways, I seriously digress. Hopefully you’re still with me here?

Yet, with all those strong feelings about Pioneer Day that I have and do hold — it’s grown on me — especially since becoming a runner. It’s become somewhat of a tradition to run on Pioneer Day — whether it’s been the Deseret News or Handcart Days races. Sure, sure, sure you can use the (valid) argument that people run 5Ks all the time on the Fourth of July, but that’s not my jam — since that’d mean I’d be missing my neighborhood chuck wagon breakfast. Sense my illogical hypocrisy?

I ran my first marathon on Pioneer Day back in 2012 — and I’ve loved keeping the tradition of running on holiday intact. I’ve only missed running the holiday in 2014 and that was because I went camping. I thought about doing a run on Pioneer Day to keep the streak alive, but I wasn’t quite yet confident in my trail running at the time. No, not so much the running part, but where we were camping had a lot of deer and moose.

Most years I’ve always done a half marathon when I’ve run on Pioneer Day, mainly to work toward my 180 race goal. So this year — a year after reaching my 180 race goal — I decided to shake things up a bit and register for the 10K instead. And, I am sure glad I did. The shorter distances have been a godsend for me.

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Long story short — my ancestors walked 2,092km across the Great Plains 172 years ago so I could run the streets of Salt Lake City today for a race medal and a bruised half banana.

A post shared by Josher (@josherwalla) on Jul 24, 2019 at 8:17am PDT

After battling injuries and back issues for the first part of the year — I got myself into a good rhythm that I was hoping to build into solid marathon training. But, then in June that got derailed as I came down with bronchitis and walking pneumonia. I didn’t run for almost four weeks. I couldn’t breathe, let alone run. It was bad.

I know that I repeating myself from past posts, but the time off killed me. I decided to kill the marathon training and just go out and run. Forget about goal races, etc. I just needed to go out and run, have some fun and just don’t die. Pretty solid goals when you get down to it.

So coming back into consistent running just a couple weeks ago it’s been a tad bit of a struggle. Getting my legs back to strength has been the toughest part. It doesn’t help that it’s also the hottest time of the year either. Heat zaps everything from my legs. So it’s been a struggle both physically and mentally — to say the least.

A couple weeks ago — my first race back — the Farmington Days 10K I finished in 1:41 minutes. I was dead last. And, if it wasn’t for a chuck wagon breakfast of bacon and sausage I would have died there. It was hard on me — between the comeback legs and heat.

So going into this race — I wasn’t exactly sure what to shoot for on the clock. I knew I didn’t want to hit 1:41 again. I was fairly confident I wouldn’t considering I had a couple weeks of training on the legs — PLUS — the course had a wonderful 60 feet of downhill. So with all of that in mind I just decided to give it my best and push myself just a TAD beyond comfort.

But, really, I had no game plan. I just wanted to get out there and run.

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I need to find myself a woman that’ll greet me like Bumble did at the finish line this morning.

A post shared by Josher (@josherwalla) on Jul 24, 2019 at 1:41pm PDT

Since I talked Amanda into running the 10K as well. We started out together. She doesn’t run/walk as well and I decided to keep up as long as I could. I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep up for the whole race, but I wanted to keep up for at least a couple of miles. Which I did.

Amanda, Brandy and I kept up with each for about the first 2-3 miles … ish. I say -ish, because I lost Amanda around 7 Eleven on 1300 East when I had this moment of temptation. It was hot and I could have sure used either a Slurpee or Diet Coke at that moment. But, I forgot my money — so it was a moot point — and I kept running.

My legs were feeling pretty heavy by mile three and our first aid station. I knew I would hit this wall, so I slowed down my pace just a tad and focused on tweaking my run/walk sets a bit. It helped, especially as we ran along South Temple and I could feel the slightest of uphill.

Once I got on 200 East and the parade route I got a second wind from the crowd. It was a bit thinner of a crowd compared to when I run the longer distances — just because not everyone is there — but, it was fun to hear my name shouted out a few times along the way. After getting a slap on the butt from Rachel — who was doing the half marathon — I made the turn onto 800 South toward Liberty Park and the finish line. I glanced at my watch and noticed I was pretty closed to a sub-1:20 — nearly a 20 minute drop from my Farmington Days 10K. This gave me a third wind.

As I glanced ran into the finishers chute I glanced at the clock and noticed I was just over 1:20. That didn’t disappoint me at all — that was still nearly a 20 minute improvement! And, as I made my way across the finishing line I saw the Salt Lake Bee’s mascot Bumble and just made a beeline (ha!) toward him for a hug! A Deseret News photographer was there and actually snapped a picture of the moment (it’s the picture above).

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I can do this because I’m Greek.

A post shared by Josher (@josherwalla) on Jul 24, 2019 at 7:42pm PDT

I was very happy with my finishing time. Yet, I still was fighting off disappointment. Which is a weird feeling. I did well, I improved, but it almost didn’t feel like it counted because I should have been in a better situation where I could have gone faster. Luckily I didn’t have much time to entertain that thinking as Shonda, Anita, Lizz, Andrew, Amanda, Brandy, etc., etc., etc., etc. diverted my attention.

One of my favorite things to do after the Deseret News races is to just sit down and park myself under the shade in the park watching all the runners come in. This year I even made a new friend Spencer, who’s a part of the AIIA team. After about an hour I finally started the long way back to my car via the shuttles.

All in all — I feel good about the race, considering the circumstances. Was it my fastest? Heavens no. But, it was a great effort and I felt some gained ground I hope to build on. Which I am sure I will.

My next race is the Revel Launch Team 10K this upcoming Saturday down Emigration Canyon. That should be a fun fast one. I’m not exactly sure what to expect from that one, but I would love to beat my sub 1:20. I have a couple training runs planned this week so it should be out of the realm of possibility.

But, I’m not going to worry about all of that — I’ll just put the work in and let the run come to me. That’s really the only thing I can do, no?

My Next Five Races

Revel Launch Team 10K; August 3

Elephant Rock Trail Run; August 10

Mt. Nebo Half; August 24

Revel Big Cottonwood Half Marathon; September 14

The Haunted Half: SLC; October 19

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A post shared by Trails & Pavement (@trailsandpavement) on Aug 7, 2018 at 10:12pm PDT

RACE RECAP: Deseret News 10K was originally published on Life In The Slow Lane.

#running #salt lake city

[sawthingsiimagined]

#XD30 - SIX | DOUBLE TROUBLE

[Chickens And Waffles - Jace]

I suddenly had stomach pains as I sat against the dusty window pane at the 24 hour diner. How did I get here? Why am I here? A part of me told myself that I should have stayed at the pool party but I let her, and him, convince me to ditch the party and walk down the street to Rita's 24 Hour Diner and Bar. Truth is I was hungry but it also helped that I was able to escape the party. Everyone was being weird. Of course I'm some rising star, now that FLAME is on tour with SISSY, but I would prefer if the attention would gently escalate instead of this rough catapult of flashing lights we are suddenly experiencing.

Beside me was Teecie, the beautiful dancer I randomly met at the pool party, her friend Tracey who also dances, two more of their girl friends, TJ, along with a few guys from FLAME's production team and across from me was the drummer, Demarion. I tried not to look at him. It was so awkward that he came over at the party to not only speak but to have a full conversation. It was weird mostly because of what my sister texted me on the bus. I felt like I knew about a part of this dude that I didn't need to know. I should have told Jada where I was going but she was too busy, on her Snapchat and Instagram Live, trying to capture the party. I could do without that. I texted our best friend, Adrienne, before my phone died and told her that I was going to grab food before I returned to my room.

We all sat in the half full diner and chatted for a while. This was my first time in a long time getting to know people outside of my church. I didn't even talk to people at school and I wasn't a part of any other social group. It was uncomfortable yet interesting all at once.

"What about you Jace?", Tracey asked breaking my thought. "What do you mean?", I asked knowing that I wasn't paying attention to where the conversation had landed. "You're so cute.", she laughed excusing my short attention span. "Have you ever been skinny dipping before?", she asked.

"Um, I can't say that I have. The only time I'm undressed in water is when I take a bath. And sometimes I'm tempted to wear shorts in there.", I said trying to make a joke to divert the attention from my inexperience. They all laughed. Teecie really found it amusing. I glanced up and Demarion had a simple grin on his face as if he was expecting me to go on. Little did he know, I'm not a comedian, neither did I want to be here much longer. I looked back down at the menu. I had already ordered Chicken and Waffles but I pretended to look at the menu as if I was going to order something else.

"See anything else you want to order before our waitress goes back to the kitchen?", Demarion asked. "You've been eyeing that drink menu for 20 min my man.", he said with a light chuckle.

"Nah man. I'm good. It's just interesting how they come up with so many different drink combinations.", I replied. "You should try one.", said Teecie. "Oh no, I don't drink.", I said. "But it's the night before the first show!", exclaimed Tracey. What they are not about to do is gang up on me. I never had the desire to drink; not for leisure nor for celebration. "Nah, I'm good.", I said. "I don't really think it's for me. I might get crazy and I need to stay focused." "Cutie, you are our star. We are only here because of you, your sister and SASSY. We got you. Don't let us peer pressure you though. I just think you should loosen up and prepare for the road. Tomorrow is Night #1 and will set the tone for the rest of the tour.", Teecie said with the most gorgeous grin I've ever witnessed. "So let's kick it off with some fun.", Demarion said. "Hey waitress, can you get us all a round of Fireball shots.", he yelled across the room.

I didn't know what a fireball shot was but I did know that I didn't want to hear, speak or think of any type of balls right now. First the text my sister sent, then they are talking about skinny dipping and now drinking. I may as well pack my luggage for hell because there will be a seat there with my name on it if I let them talk me into this.

"Yo, I'm really good. I probably should be headed back anyways. We have to be at the arena at 8am.", I said attempting to sound serious yet cool.

"I got you my man. I'll make sure you get there. I have to be there at 7.", he said. The musicians have to be there an hour before us to make sure their instruments are setup correctly so by the time we arrive, all we have to do is start the soundcheck.

The waitress came back quicker than she had returned all night. Turns out that Fireball shots are some type of alcoholic beverages in small glasses. I've literally been under a rock for the past 20 years. It was at that moment that I found my escape.

"Guys I'm not 21 so I can't drink.", I whispered to the table as the waitress passed out the drinks. "Chile, I've been drinking since I was 14. You're good. She didn't even I.D. us.", said Tracey as if everything she said was ok.

"If I may do the honors.", TJ said while standing up. Nobody asked him to say anything. He should be in his room sleep or rehearsing the lights. Shoot. I was getting upset. "This toast goes out to all of us. We’ve come together in celebration of the beginning of an amazing tour. Cheers to the man of our camp, Jace. Here's to sold out shows and lots of hoes!", he finished. I was outdone.

Everyone took their small glasses and chugged the alcohol down. I tried to lift mine but the scent of spicy cinnamon almost made me gag. My phone was dead so I couldn't pretend that someone was trying to contact me and step outside. Everyone cheered and then Tracey's nosey self noticed that I hadn't taken my shot.

"Oh no, pretty boy! Throw that thang back!", she said so loud that the other people in the diner turned to watch. Everyone cheered and co-signed. At this point I was out of my body looking at myself, judging myself and ready to go home. I looked up and Demarion was staring straight at me. That's when I noticed he had weird colored eyes. They were a dark, blue-ish, grey type color that almost looked navy. I’ve never seen a person of his complexion with those color eyes. His bushy eyebrows arched inward as if appeared angry. He had this street yet artsy look about him that made him look like one of the cool guys you see on Instagram. He even had tattoos on his neck. He stared at me and I immediately said to myself, "this boy is the devil!", based on the way his eyes were glaring at me. Suddenly I heard nothing. It's like the sound was sucked out of the room. I couldn't hear him but I saw his lips move. He mouthed, "I got you."

I then picked up the small glass and chugged the shot. I immediately wanted to throw up all over the table but I kept my eyes on him as he licked his lips and smiled. 

Everyone cheered. I was ready to go. This guy really just convinced me to drink alcohol. Teecie hugged me. She smelled so good. Like peaches and cream. "Now that wasn't so bad was it?", Tracey asked. I wanted to say, "Trick yea," but that was rude and I don't use words like that towards women. "It wasn't that bad," I said.

"Well good because I ordered you a Long Island.", TJ said. I didn't know what that was either but if this boy wasn't talking about an actual body of land in the Atlantic Ocean he could keep it. The waitress brought the drink over. I immediately decided to just go ahead and try it. Nothing could be worse than that Fireball shot. I took a sip. It actually tasted pretty decent. Anything was better than that shot right about now. One sip turned into three and three sips turned into large gulps. Before I knew it we had talked and laughed and I had finished a drink. The food still hadn't come. I was starving and disappointed in myself as I sat there drinking like I was a pro-liqour-ologist . I didn't feel 'drunk' like the people look on tv. However, I did feel 'loosened up' and comfortable.

I was sipping drink number two when a guy in a black polo ran through the doors toward us followed by a police officer. I just knew I was headed to jail. 20 years old and drinking illegally. The prisoners are going to eat me alive. I pushed the glass over to Teecie. I felt bad for a few milliseconds for pushing my crime onto her. I didn’t even know her age.

The guy in the polo came over and asked me to get up. When I didn't comply, obviously I was little tipsy so my reaction was delayed, he grabbed me. Demarion stood up and demanded, "What the hell is this?" The guy in the black polo, which read ‘Security’ in the upper right corner, pointed to the tv above the bar. "There has been a shooting. I am here to retrieve Jace and to ask you all to get back to your hotel rooms safely. The premises are being checked but this police officer will escort you through the shipping corridor of the hotel.", the security man said. He was a middle aged, heavy set white man that smelled like outside and smoke from a grill. I started feeling nauseas and felt myself about to fall. I remember seeing Demarion race over and I heard him say "He's with me. I'm the drummer in his band. I'll help you get him to his room."

At that moment I immediately thought about my sister and became terrified. I screamed, "Where is Jada?! Where is my sister?!" "Jada is secure.", security assured. Still afraid I attempted to stand on my own again only to buckle over and throw up all over the security man's shoes.

All I wanted was my sister and those waffles. I was the chicken. I covered my face feeling totally embarrassed.

That's the last thing I remember.

#xd30 #writingchallenge Blackwriters Romenwrites JadaAndJace DoubleTrouble writer

[torinspeer-blog]

GET TO KNOW ME

1. What’s your first name? Torin 2. What are you listening to right now? 
The ambient noises of my property. OH! SHIT! Uhhh... punk rock Spotify playlist-punk pop's not dead 3. What was the last thing you ate?
Tuna fish sandwich 4. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? 
"Attention: important seniors!" Medicare 5. Do you drink? 
🤤🤤🤤 6. Do you smoke? 
Only to give myself cancer!👍👏👏🙌💯 7. What is the first thing you noticed in someone? 
I think it depends on the individual? I mean I'm an intuition dom and have ADHD so it's not like I notice🤷‍♀️ 8. What is your hair color? 
Very dark brown 9. What is your eye color?
Hazel 10. Do you wear contacts/glasses? 
Reading glasses 11. Dogs or cats? 
dogs no shit you ever seen a kitters run around like a little glob weeaboo? Uhuh I didn't think so hun! 12. What’s your favorite animal? 
ANY ANIMAL THAT CUDDLES ME AND MAKES ME FEEL LESS ALONE!!!!! 13. What’s your favorite television show? 
Parks and rec probably (seen the ending? On the emotional level it's more like parks and rekt am I fucking right guys? YEET!) 14. What’s your favorite movie? 
Farris buellers day off what am I a hipster? 15. What’s your favorite band/singer? 
GREENDAYGREENDAYGREENDAYGREENDAYENFP4W5PIXIEPRIDESON!!!! 16. How old are you? 
19. I'm old enough to know a thing or two. Like, literally. I know one thing and maybe another but no more than that. 17. Do you have a crush on anyone? yes... don't worry. I burry my feelings deep inside my soul just like every other well adjusted adult 18. What’s your sexual orientation? 
I thought I was bi but then a bi guy said hi from behind and that thought ended 19. What’s your favorite color?
blue? Red? Purple? I'm more of a... ummm... shit 20. What was your most embarrassing moment? 
😂😂😂 ok, so there was this one time, I was born, and it got soooooyyyt awkward!!😂😂😳 21. Do you ever wish you were someone else? 
Oh god I have enough extisensial dread as is holy shit take that to someone else 22. What were you like when you were a kid? 
Lazy, stupid, and never gonna accomplish anything with a work ethic like that hahahaHAHAHAHA SOMEBODY TAKE THE PAIN AWAY 23. What would your dream house be like? 
A little house in the prairies where I can sit in the front yard with my wife in a rocking chair and watch my grandchildren play 24. What last made you laugh? 
My last joke, bitch 25. What is your favorite word? 
Romp... hehehe. It makes me think of cute little bunny rabbits hopping along in the woods 26. What is your least favorite word? 
No 27. What turns you on? IF YOU LET ME TALK FOR A WHILE AND GIGGLE AND THINK IM SMART I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER 28. What turns you off? 
ME NOT BEING ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE PEOPLE (holy shit I mean these are jokes but like god do I need therapy? Holy shit). 29. What is your star sign? 
Sometimes, when I'm lost, I like to look for a sign to know whether I'm standing in the light of the word, or its darkness (the joke is that I use the sun as a sign for if it's daytime hartyharhar). 30. What are your favorite books? 
 31. Do you have any siblings? 
two brothers and two sisters 32. Do you like to dance? Depends if you count air guitar and awkward lanky jolting as dancing cuz if yes THEN YA IM THE FUCKING MLG TRICK SHOT KING OF THAT SHIT. 33. What is your definition of cheating? 
Summoning help in dark souls 34. Have you ever cheated on someone? 
Nope 35. Do you regret anything? 
Who the hell doesn't? Regret is a natural and essential piece of the human condition. It's horrible, but it teaches us how to live. 36. Do you have any phobias? Tight spaces high spaces suffocating in spaces (pluralized by virtue of multiverse theory) standing in line waiting to talk getting cut off cutting someone off cutting myself my memes not being fresh enough you know normal people stuff 37. Ever broken any bones? Sadly, no😔 38. Ever come close to death? 
I mean I almost killed myself several time soooo... (guys before you ask I'm ok now don't worry I'm just figuring my shit out😂😂) 39. What is your religion, if any? 
I worship at the holy grail of Cthulhu ahem check your privilege 40. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? 
Yes. I had a crush on her. Refer to question #27 41. Are looks important in a relationship? 
They aren't the most important thing but yes I like being sexually attracted to people I'll potentially fuck exclusively for the rest of my life 42. Are you more like your mom or your dad? 
I refuse to identify commonalities 43. What is your favorite season? 
Springs, or fall. I don't pay attention but I live in Arizona so whatever time my balls aren't stuck to my pants🤗 44. Do you have any tattoos? 
No but if I did it would just be "[]" because it's basically "[insert here]" brackets so I could tell people it's for or means or is about anything I want to. 45. Do you have any piercings? 
No. But I have pierced myself IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN😂😂🙌💯 46. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? 
1? One lasted four days does that count? Cuz then it's 2. God... I need to get laid. OR HAVE AN ADORABLE HUNAM TO CUDDLE AND TALK TO AND DO THE DIRTY WITH AS THE CHERRY ON TOP OF HER CHERRY😂😂😂 oh god I kill myself😂 47. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? As MBTI lore would suggest (I'm an enfp btw howdy), my soul belongs to sexy anime babes. 48. Who is your celebrity crush? ... that just made me feel lonely and I don't know why 49. Are you a virgin? 😉 50. Do you get jealous easily? Depends on the situation. I always keep it under wraps though. 51. What is your favorite type of food? 
BUFFALO WINGS!!!! THOSE BETTER EXIST IN THE HEAVEN I DONT BELIEVE IN 52. Do you ever want to get married? 
Hell ya my dude! 53. Who was your first kiss with? 
My first girlfriend. 54. Have you ever been cheated on? 
... 55. What is your idea of the perfect date? 
No idea. Just as long as we connect really well and I have the sense of finding someone who actually makes sense as a person and does that in a way complimentary to who I am. Talk about life I guess. NO HOLY SHIT TALK ABOUT LIFE FUCK YES!!!! 56. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? 
Introverted extrovert😉😉😉 57. Do you believe in aliens or life on other planets? 
I doubt it but I believe in a neighboring universe where Hitler doesn't have a mustache soooo.... 58. What talent do you wish you’d been born with? 
Self esteem 59. What is your saddest memory? 
Hahahaha... no 60. Do you believe in love at first sight? 
no but I do believe in getting your jimmies rustled on first sight😉 61. Do you believe in soul mates? 
I'm a nihilist. I believe in finding someone who fits you well enough that the tear in your soul is mostly ignorable, but not anyone who's made for you 62. Have you ever dyed your hair? 
No 63. Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you? 
So one of the definitions for my name in urban dictionary is "Torin: likes to masturbate with the slimy sea creatures of the sea to get that real pussy feel. Synonymous with 'squids'."... apparently that escalated from fiction to fact very quickly. 64. Would you go against your moral code for money? 
It depends. Ends justify the means. For example: I would stomp several puppies to death in an absolutely brutal fashion in order to save the lives of millions of children starving to death in Africa. 65. What are three things most people don’t know about you? 
I've struggled with depression since 8th grade. I'm fairly certain their are missing pieces of my personality, which would explain why there's a different version of me for every person and why I forget who I am after just like 2 days of being alone. I don't cry a lot but it's not for healthy reasons. 66. Who are you jealous of?
Basically everyone 67. Do you sleep with a stuffed toy? 
NO BUT NOW I WANT TO I JUST GOT ALL WARM AND FUZZY FEELING 68. How long was your longest relationship? 
About six months 69. Is the glass half empty or half full? 
It's in the eye of the beholder. It doesn't really matter which one it is though, it only matters what you do with what's left. 70. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? 
😳 I'll wait to tell you until the third date😉 71. Who are your closest friends?
Currently a college friend who's out of state. I tend not to stay particularly close to people for too long tho... ok well shit now I'm sad 72. Are you in a relationship? 
Nope 73. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? 
I don't even have a joke wow fuck I'm lonely 74. Are you a bad person? 
STOP MAKING ME THINK ABOUT THIS SHIT IF I DO AND I DECIDE IM NOT I WILL SLIP INTO A SEVERE DEPRESSION that sounded funny in my head holy shit no it was not 75. Are you a lover or a fighter? 
I fight for love💁 76. What did you do on your last birthday? 
Some stuff my mother wouldn't be proud of 77. What is your favorite quote and why? 
“Quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I've done it a thousand times." -Mark Twain. It illustrates some things I'm not in the mindset to process 78. If your best friend died, what would you do? 
NUUUUUUUUUU FUCKIN STAAAAHHHHHPPP I WILL CRY 5EVR 79. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be? 
Beat my bitch ass (holy shit I need to process stuff stop asking me these questions I thought I had a healthy-ish self esteem but clearly not #sendhalp) 80. If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do? 
I have ADHD, so probably process everything at once and feel to panicked to do anything. That or the stimulation would be enough that I'd do everything and anything I wanted with no inhibitions. 81. What is the strangest dream you’ve ever had? 
One time I sucked on this hot chicks nipples and not only did it taste nasty but the nipple grew and stabbed my fucking throat OMG I DEEPTHROATED A NIPPLE THAT JUST CLICKED WTF 82. Are you happier single or in a relationship? 
In a relationship, if it's with the right person. 83. Who were you in a past life? 
Mark Twain Bitch! 84. What is your happiest childhood memory? 
I have no idea. None of them exist in a vacuum. They only matter in context of everything else. 85. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? 
The majority of my life since my first boner yes. 86. Have you ever had an imaginary friend? 
Oh I had like fucking 10 but they were all tv show characters except for one and I didn't like him that much. 87. If you were the president, what would you do? 
I would gather as much information as possible about the most important matters and work down from there. 88. What is your ideal career? 
Rn, comedian 89. What is your political affiliation? INDEPENDENT BITCH! 90. Are you conservative or liberal? 
I'm left leaning. I identify more with liberal values but both are important in order to balance eachother out (that's why our political atmosphere is so volatile. Used to be we'd have a democrat then a republican and they'd switch every year, but congress would have the opposite orientation as the president. Now we have a switching one party system every year.) 91. Is the male or female body closest to perfection? 
FUCKING WOMEN ARE YOU KIDDING ME WOMEN ARE HOURGLASSES MEN ARE LIKE UPSIDE DOWN TRIANGLES WITH LEGS AND A LITTLE DONGLE HOW IS THIS A QUESTION??!?!! 92. Do you like kissing in public? 
No. I'm constantly aware of everything going on around me so I need some privacy. 93. If you could change one thing in the world, what would you change? 
humans can choose super powers (I'm keeping this one from the last guy's answers fucking savage dude) 94. Where would you like to live? 
NEW YORK CITY 95. Where would you go on your dream vacation? 
NEW YORK CITY EXCEPT I STAY THERE 96. Describe yourself in one word. 
eclectic 97. Describe yourself in one sentence. 
LISTEN TO GREENDAY "walking contradiction" AND ANY SIMILAR SONG!!

#enfp #mbti #meyers briggs #4w5

[overseerjules]

First off, I’m so so so sorry that this is so late! I ended up rewriting this almost 4 different times and I’m still not completely happy with it but it’s my first fanfic so screw it, I like it enough to give it to you @hisagishuuhei I hope you like it! P.S. Sorry if its cringy lmao For the @yuri-on-ice-valentine-exchange

Pairing: Emil X Mickey

Disclaimer: I wrote this like one would write a diary so everything that’s written is in Mickey’s viewpoint until the very end

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 3 days until Valentine’s Day

Current time: 3:27 pm 2/11/17

I’ve got it bad…….. Like extremely bad. I can barely sit still during this stupid ass lecture it’s so bad. I know I know, I need to calm down. It’s only love. Well… it’s probably love, all I really know is that I want to make that boy mine and never let him go. God the things I could do to him, I could just eat him up! Wait I’m in class so I shouldn’t be thinking about this, I could pop a boner if I continue. Ugh, how much longer is this class??? I swear I’m gonna die here. I wish I never took this stupid marketing class… I DON’T EVEN LIKE MARKETING! I should’ve taken like a sports history class or somthn. That would’ve been waaay better. I need to just chill out… I mean there’s only like 40 minutes left in the class anyways, and then I can go back to the dorm and see Emil! Just mentioning him in this journal gets me so excited. I’m a lovesick mess huh?

Current Time: 5:58pm 2/11/17 My original plans to go straight back got totally ruined! All I wanted to do was go home and see Emil…. But nooooo. Sara just had to come and jump me after class and she even dragged me to this stupid cafe. I mean it wasn’t that bad tbh but it still was not what I wanted. I think the only good thing that came out of it was that she agreed to help me buy something for Emil. So now I’m stuck waiting in the car for her to ‘properly get ready’ since she didn’t think she was pretty enough to go out on the town like she was. Like, what does she thinks gonna happen? That some mysterious and hot af guy is just gonna pop up and ask her out?? Besides even if that were to happen, I’d never let someone touch my lil sister…. hmph .

Current Time: 9:32pm 2/11/17

I’m sitting outside on the bench right below our dorm trying to catch my breath as of right now. Why is that future me may ask? W E L L. Sara being the little shithead she is made me walk home by myself after finding some of her friends but that’s not all folks! It started raining too so I had to run back here! Hence why I’m out of breath. I’m just glad that she promised to wrap up the teddy bear and the electric razor I got him. Ok yeah I know buying him one of those isn’t really romantic or anything but it’s supposed to be funny since he knows how much I hate his beard. Facial hair in general is just….. No.

2 Days until Valentine’s day

Current Time: 12:13pm 2/12/17

Last night had to be the best night in my life. It started off extremely normal, just me walking into our dorm and seeing Emil making food. Oh and have I ever mentioned how great of a cook he is? Well he is and lemme just say this now, he’s perfect wifey material. Ok but back to what I was originally talking about, we ate while we watched a movie and I don’t ever remember falling asleep but I guess at some point I did because I woke up around 4 or 5-ish and me and Emil were all cuddled up. Wait what was that? Can I repeat that you ask??? Me. And. Emil. Were. Cuddling. Oh god, I can’t believe that happened but to top the whole situation off, when I tried to move away he frickin grabbed me in his sleep and hugged me even tighter. When he did that I could barely hear him say “don’t go..” over my heart slamming in my chest. I legit thought I was going to die. I mean I would’ve died extremely happy but no I can’t die yet! Not until we’ve slept together again with roles switched, not that I didn’t like being the spoon or the warmth of his oh so strong arms around me. It’s just that I really just wanna hug him all night, hell if I could I’d do it 24/7. Ugh but I gtg finish my homework for my next class since I missed my first one , I’ll come back and write in you later.

Current Time: 3:02pm 2/12/17

I spent the whole class thinking about Emil again. I really need to stop doing that… I’m going to end up failing my classes at this point. But forget that, more importantly I think he’s avoiding me now, I mean it’s totally plausible since we are in no way, shape, or how romantically involved and we ended up on a small ass couch cuddling. But still, that’s no reason for him to jump when he see’s me or to hurry and leave the dorm. FYI, that happened about 20 minutes ago so I’m still quite hurt about that. I guess it’s whatever, we’ll be fine over time I hope.

Current Time: 10:44pm 2/12/17

Sara stole me again, not that I mind this time since I’m sure Emil wouldn’t wanna see me anyways. Kill me now please. But yeah I filled her in on what happened last night and she was more than thrilled. She kept reassuring me that he’s just embarrassed since he likes me too and that’s why he’s doing that but I just don’t know what to think about it. After we spent like an hour and a half or so just fucking around at the cafe she told me to go back and try to talk to him. Let’s just say I tried. I came home to him icing one of his bomb af cakes he loves to make, but that’s not the reason I’m pissed. He went and wrote ‘To the one I love’ in bright red icing on it. Upon seeing that my jealousy skyrocketed and I went and asked such a dumbass question. “So is that for your girlfriend?” Normally the sight of him blushing would melt my heart but the fact that I know he’s bright red because of someone else is just sickening. “Ah no… just someone I really like” “Tch, same difference, anyone who would reject you after giving them that would be brain dead” After that I kinda just stormed off into my room which is where I am and am perfectly willing to stay. I don’t want to go out there and see that stupid cake of his, or him for that matter. Oh god could I just cry right now. Fuck. I wish I could just snap that person’s neck that stole my loves affection from me. Nvm, he’d just hate me even more then. Fuck I just want things to be simpler!

1 Day until Valentine’s Day

Current Time: 1:29am 2/13/17

I was awoken by Emil carrying me princess style to my bed. Never would’ve imagined he’d do something like that but nonetheless it happened. And me being stupid like always told him to go away, which I highly regret saying but it’s not like he left anyways. He softly told me, “I’d never, you’d catch a cold sitting out like that you know?” At that moment I thought my heart was going to explode, any trace of anger I held just dissipated and turned to sadness so when he sat me down and tucked me into my bed like a 5 year old, I curled up and just layed there on the verge of tears. I guess it was pretty obvious since he crouched down and asked me what was wrong, I just told him that it was the valentine blues since it’s not like I had anyone. The smile he had on his face the was one that looked kinda pitiful, almost like he wanted to cry too. And well umm hold up, I’m not really good at inserting dialog so I’ll just do it screenplay like? No clue really but all that I know is that it’s gonna make writing in this journal a hell load easier so here it goes! Emil: Eh? I would’ve thought that you’d have girls lining up to get with you since you’re so hot.

Me: So…. you think i’m hot? *blushing like crazy*

Emil: N-no that’s not what I meant! *I think he was blushing? Couldn’t tell very well*

Me: It’s ok… I know you were messing around. *I tried smiling even though I wanted to cry even more, sooo*

Emil: It’ll be ok Mickey, I’m sure you’ll have someone this year, now go and get some sleep. Ok?

Me: Thanks for the encouraging words Emil. Anyways, night.

Emil: Sweet dreams~

Current Time: 9:57pm 2/13/17

I woke up this morning around 11 and had the great idea to watch Emil sleep. I mean it’s not like I set out to do it? I kinda just walked out into the kitchen and saw him laying on the couch sleeping. So why not? Oh I can tell you why not. Reason 1) trying to explain yourself is utter hell bc you won’t have an explanation. And reason 2) The awkwardness afterwards totally kills off any good vibes for a good two hours. He wasn’t to creeped out but I still regret doing that, and lucky me he went out of his way to make it less awkward by asking what I wanted to do today. But knowing Emil, he’ll just pick something he wants to do anyways so I told him it was his call. And that’s how I ended up watching every. Single. Episode of voltron today, and after that he turned on The Magicians and we’re currently on the 3rd episode. He kept going on about it for awhile now but as soon as he gets to watch it he falls asleep. How careless, not to mention that he’s sleeping all curled up under my arm. Man. I wish tomorrow would never come because I know he’s just going to go off to his valentine…

V A L E N T I N E ‘ S D A Y

Current Time: 6:03am 2/14/17

Fuck. FUck. FUCk. FUCK. I forgot to grab his presents yesterday. Sure he already has someone but that does not mean that I’d just not give him anything, plus I spent good money on that stuff. Anyways, almost as soon as I woke up, I dashed out of the dorm and all the way to Sara’s house. I regret running but it was worth it. I grabbed those presents after waking her and everyone else up on the block by my loud knocks and bolted back to my dorm.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Real Time~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What I walked into almost shattered my heart. I laid Emil’s presents down and ran over to Emil who was crying on the couch. I took him into my arms like my life depended on it and we stayed like that for a good while. “Hey… Emil. what’s wrong?” I asked “I thought you left me…” “Nooo! I’d never leave you, understand? I only left to go grab something for my valentine” “Then why are you back here? Shouldn’t you go and give it to them?” He mumbled into my shoulder, crying even harder now. “Who even is it?” I could barely hear him say it but I took his face in my hands and wiped the tears from his glossy blue eyes. “It’s you, ya dumbass. Who else would it be?” “A..are you serious?” “How could I not be in this situation Emil? I’ve been trying to work up the courage to tell you how I felt the last two years but I just couldn’t do it and well this year I wanted to make it a surprise but this happened instead.” “I’m sorry…” “Don’t be, I’m just glad that I can tell you how much I like you” “Ya know… You were also supposed to be my valentine, I even made you a cake but the face you had when you walked in and saw it was really scary Mickey. I mean I know you love it when I make them for you so why’d you react like that?” “Because I thought you were going to give it to someone else. My jealousy skyrocketed and I couldn’t handle it. I’m sorry Emil” “I kinda figured” He half choked/half laughed. “Don’t die now, I just got you where I wanted you” I pulled his forehead to mine and looked into his red and puffy eyes. I was really looking forward to be the one that engaged the kiss but he beat me to it. No sooner than I opened my mouth to ask how he was feeling, I could feel his lips on mine. They’re chapped and a bit sticky from him crying but I don’t care, all I care about is how his lips are on mine and that he’s pushing me onto my back.

~~~~~~~~~~~Happy Late Valentine’s Day~~~~~~~~~~

#yoi #fanfic #yuri on ice #emil nekola #michele crispino #mickey x emil #valentines #exchange #killme please

[lhard013]

In Training

“He’s in training.”

Oh, if I had a nickel for every time I said this. I’d already have my farm. 3, most likely. One in Virginia, one in Montana, and perhaps an extra smaller one for my summer home in Alaska.

The thing that most people don’t know when I resort to saying this is, he’s been “in training” for three years. Three not-always-so-triumphant years.

And yet, the best three years of my life.

It’s a funny thing – my biggest stressor is also my biggest stress reliever.

But that’s what I signed up for when Noah picked me. I didn’t have a choice in the matter, even though I (don’t) often wonder what I would have done had I known the baggage that was lying just under the surface when this young pup showed up on the ranch, cold and hungry. Always at the ready, I had a bowl and some dogfood handy – there are more strays than people in Middle-of-Nowhere-Texas – so it was not uncommon to see them meandering or running rampant on the roads or across the ranch. But on this particularly cold day in January, something was different.

I had been on the market for a new canine companion. After my previous badass barn mutt Biscuit had passed away a few years earlier, a new companion had been on my mind – but it was never the “right time.” Whatever the hell that means.

My recent move to Texas had proven to be a good one, though not without its challenges. I knew a dog would be in my future at some point, but it had to be the right one. So, I did my research. I took time looking at different shelters. (If you ever want your heart broken over and over, visit shelters in Middle-of-Nowhere-Texas. And don’t waste your money on waterproof mascara.) I knew what I wanted, (a German Shepherd), but I knew all the pieces would have to fall into place for the right dog, considering my situation. He would have to make a good ranch dog – good with livestock, equipment, open land, long days in extreme weather, and people.

I finally found what I was looking for: the saddest looking German Shepherd on the kill list at a shelter over an hour away. I made plans to go visit him, but was told that under shelter rules, I would have to “tag” the dog and essentially buy him sight unseen if I wanted to keep him alive in the next 24 hours. I couldn’t get to the shelter until the next day, so I told them my plan – I’d leave first thing in the morning and come get him, I’ll be there by 6am – but if anyone is closer and can save him prior to that, by all means. Let them. Just get him out of there and please God, let him have a good home.

I held true to my plan. I was up and out the door when I got the message that someone had seen him, wanted him and was able to take him home immediately. I was crushed – but the good kind. He was safe…but I was still without a new best friend, that I was starting to realize was vital for my own mental health.

About an hour later, I got a text from my trainer. “I think I found your dog.” Upon some clarification, I was informed that there was a larger-looking dog running rampant around the ranch – no collar, not fixed. This is typical of Middle-of-Nowhere-Texas, as it’s also not uncommon for owned dogs to roam free. This one looked fairly healthy, albeit cold, clearly hungry, a little skinny and a little skittish.

To this day I couldn’t tell you what it was. But when I saw him from a distance I said without hesitation, “That’s my dog.”

This kid did nothing to prove me wrong.

I whistled to get his attention from a ways away, then put some dogfood in the bowl and shook it and laid it down in front of me. He came up cautiously, but with curiosity. I sat down near the bowl, and began to talk. I have no clue what I said, but before he began eating, homeboy came over, looked at me and simply put his paw in my hand.

Sold.

That tail started wagging upon gobbling up some delicious – likely long-awaited – breakfast, and we located a makeshift leash. It did not take long to figure out this youngin’ had NEVER seen a leash before in his life. No biggie. He was clearly still a puppy – 6-ish months old – and had a lot of growing up to do. No worries there.

The next logical step was to take him to the vet to see if he had a microchip. Sure, that’s just a quick trip.

Except when you’re already a 60-ish pound puppy with zero training who does NOT want to get into a vehicle…you don’t get into the vehicle.

And you’ll fight tooth and nail (with everything but teeth and nails) to stay out of it. This poor kid clearly had an issue with cars. Or rather, as we pieced together later – likely being tossed out of one.

After a 30 minute battle of the species, I surprised him with a spurt of strength in quite literally scooping him up from behind and giving him no option but to jump the rest of the way in. Not the most graceful of ways, but hey – we made it happen. I learned lesson number one: patience should have taken longer than 30 minutes. I don’t remember why I was trying to rush, but this became an ongoing lesson: no matter the circumstances, sometimes you must simply breathe, and take your time.

Upon arrival at the vet’s office, this wonderful –albeit slightly fearful – puppy patient sat carefully on the scale and allowed the techs to check for a chip – of which there was none. My racing heart slowed as I began to realize the significance that now, this really COULD be my dog. The techs asked, “Do you want to put ‘Lost Dog’ signs up in here for him?”

Again, without hesitation and with an odd form of certainty, “No. He has a home.”

Three years later, I understand what love is.

I could bore you (or perhaps hilariously and horrendously enlighten you) on what has transpired over the last three years of being owned by my best friend. I’ll shorten it to a few key points. You’re welcome.

Without getting too deep, but yet first and foremost: love is patient.

I have cried more tears over this animal than I have over any of my horses – and that’s saying something. I’ve lost horses in ways we all hope to never experience, and I’ve seen (and been involved in) accidents that still have their pages dog-eared in my mind. Death and damage is a part of life – but the fear of it, is far worse. And this was something I had never experienced.

Noah came into my life when I needed him the most. He was everything I’d prayed for: good with livestock (except cats), good with equipment, good on the ranch, great with the horses (upon some education), mostly good on open land (deer and coyotes altered this behavior every now and then), and fantastic with extreme weather conditions. Many of these pieces were learned, but much of it came natural to him.

One thing he was not good with – people.

Here’s the kicker – not ALL people. Just SOME people. He picked and chose. He fell in love with some immediately. Others, you’d best not even try to get near him if you want to keep your limbs in tact.

Even better – he loathed children. To this day, not a single child can get near him.

We managed this. Whatever the alter ego of “easy peasy” is, this was it. I can’t tell you how many hours I spent trying to figure him out in those first few months, but rest easy knowing that “hours” truly means “months.” Days on end.

At one point, I moved in with a friend while I was transitioning to a new place. Noah was not allowed inside, so he got a fancy igloo on the porch. I am a born-and-bred “dogs belong inside with the family” gal, but that simply couldn’t be the case here. So again, we managed, and he figured out the igloo (complete with warm fluffy puppy bed) was for him. What he didn’t quite figure out, was how to SHUT. UP.

One night was particularly bad. For anyone who thinks I talk a lot, I dare you to spend a night on a ranch in Middle-of-Nowhere-Texas with an Anatolian Shepherd outside. Seriously. Double Dog Dare Ya.

For about 10 hours straight, he did not bark. He SCREAMED. This “bark” was the most ferocious thing I had ever heard, and it was NON. STOP.

All. Night.

No amount of ignoring, hollering, or bribing shut him up. It goes without saying (but I’ll say it anyway), I got ZERO sleep that night. So the next morning when I finally gave in and got up, I went outside to start my day as per usual. Started my walk to the barn in the early morning light, and in my weary haze, thought my eyes were playing tricks on me when I glanced out across one of the fields.

No tricks. Indeed, there was a solid trail of blood. A little less than half a football field long, starting from the middle of the field and ending at the bottom of the dam just beyond it.

And there it was – the stripped skeleton of what had been a deer the night before.

And all at once, the emotions came over me. I had gotten so mad at this dog for simply trying to tell me there was a problem on this place he now called home. And I’d ignored him and yelled at him.

He didn’t hold this against me. I learned this lesson, and began to use it to my advantage.

I’ll say it again – he did not hold this against me.  Love is patient.

A few months later, it was time to invest in some obedience classes. There was still enough of the “puppy” left to be causing some frustrations, so I “splurged.” It helped immensely with basic obedience, but the underlying issues were still there – he simply could not be around certain people. Emphasis on the “certain.” At first there was a theme – men. Unless it was someone he knew or accepted, he hated men and would not tolerate men approaching me. Then it was certain women. And any and ALL children.

I started taking notes.

That guy smelled like alcohol. That girl was drenched in cigarette smoke. That guy stared at him dead in the eyes. That girl flippantly got in his face. That guy was visibly passive and nervous. The child never did anything except exist, but that was enough to set him off if one was within eye shot.

Love is patient.

I tried. I failed. I tried. I failed. I tried. And I failed.

Don’t let this part fool you – when he’s with those who are accepted into his inner circle, you’ll find the biggest teddy bear dog in the world. Hashtag 100% lapdog.

But I’ll be darned if you are not in that circle.

At one point, I decided it was time to consider my options. Perhaps I really wasn’t the person for him. Other people were telling me that, and this started to permeate in my head. Clearly, I am doing something wrong. Maybe…just maybe…my starry-eyed mind ran away with me and the happily-ever-after-riding-off-into-the-sunset picture in my head simply wasn’t meant to be.

People started telling me, "He should probably just be euthanized."

Hell. This is real life, not Disney.

So, I posted a note on Facebook. In many more words, it essentially said “This dog means the world to me. But he needs more than I can offer him. Perfect homes need only apply.”

I got several responses, from several wonderful people.

Suffice it to say…none were perfect enough.

Love is patient.

                 * * *

Not long after that, I had my first Texas trip to the ER. If you’re smart, you don’t wear flip flops at all on a ranch. If you’re really lacking on smarts for the day, you wear flip flops on a ranch at night.

Lo and behold, copperheads will find you.

And lo and behold, I got found. On the ankle. In the dark. And had a solid limp in about 20 minutes.

But, again – because I was lacking on smarts for the day – I ignored it, thinking it had been a Texas-sized wasp. (Everything’s bigger in Texas, right?) I hadn’t actually SEEN the snake (doctors later confirmed the kind) so I just assumed I’d once again landed myself into a Lindsey-situation. Not uncommon.

10 hours later, and my poor trainer was the one who had to get me off the floor, into the truck, and into the hospital to then get hooked up to machines and drugged up on God knows what.

The thing is, I’d spent the better part of 6 hours passed out on the bathroom floor, in between vomit spells. I’d never thrown up so much in my life, but let me tell ya – girls, if you wanna lose some water weight and about 3 weeks of cheat meals, go find a copperhead!!!

I remember Noah being at my side the entire night. Every time I regained consciousness to throw up again, he was lying on my opposite leg that was sprawled out in some odd fashion to avoid touching the victim leg. Every time.

He never moved.

Upon gaining enough consciousness to call someone, I called my trainer who was (thankfully) next door. He answered, but I couldn’t speak. And after a few brief moments of trying, the call cut out – no service in Middle-of-Nowhere-Texas. Duh.

Again, thankfully, one of us has smarts. So he figured out something was wrong and came over. Alas – my door was locked. No more than perhaps 6 feet away, but light years for someone not entirely coherent, rolling in and out of consciousness and no use of one leg.

I tried sitting up. Passed out again – this time, in the other direction. Directly on top of Noah, who was still at my side.

I later asked my trainer how I got to the door. He said when he opened it, I was just sitting there with Noah right next to me – his whole body against mine. Once some drugs wore off, I remembered bits and pieces – my trainer had knocked and called my name. And Noah had crawled to the door – with me in tow. Deadweight. Close enough so that when we got there and I woke up again, I could reach up to unlock it.

He did not learn this in his obedience classes.

If you ever read further in this particular Corinthians passage, it says, “Love always protects.”

I’m still paying off that hospital bill. But thanks to a particularly unique four-legged gift, who later became my right leg for a week while I regained some balance, I am still here. With both legs in tact.

Love always protects.

* * *

Indulge me for a moment, and allow me to give a bit of insight. While this is a cool story (I hope), I’d be a fool to not include some fun facts.

Noah is an Anatolian Shepherd. If you have never heard of one, look it up. Google will help you with the biography, but I’ll leave it at this: there are all sorts of “support” pages on Facebook: Depression. OCD. Autism. MS. Cancer. Bullying. Domestic Violence.

There is also an Anatolian Shepherd Owner Support page.

And yes, I found this by accident. I stumbled upon it while knee deep in research on the breed, and nearing closer and closer to the end of my rope with the “issues” that seemed to only be getting worse; or at the very least, no better. The better he became at being a ranch dog and my right arm, the worse he became with strangers. I’d already decided post-snake-bite that this was not a dog I could ever give up. It just became a matter of management.

So, I joined the Anatolian Shepherd Owner Support page.

And lo and behold – I wasn’t the only one with these problems. These fears.

The blatant red fear that my dog would cause harm to one person – that one wrong person – who would fight for my dog to be euthanized.

The stories were endless. “My neighbors are afraid of him.” “She snapped at my husband.” “He doesn’t allow anyone he doesn’t know into the house.” “We have to separate him completely if we want to have guests over.”

And those are mild.

Now of course, there were those of the opposite theme – “PERFECT children’s dog.” “Passed his Canine Good Citizen test with flying colors!” “She is now a licensed therapy dog.”

These of course, while wonderful stories, were discouraging.

Where was I going wrong?

I waited a while before posting, as I wanted to feel out the crowd a little bit to make sure it was a legit forum and not just some random trolls ready to take aim and file a lawsuit against a dog that bares its teeth. In fact, it wasn’t – and I was soon met with a mountain of support and love from fellow adults owned by Anatolian Shepherds.

We shared stories and photos. I quickly noticed one common denominator.

Loyalty. Pure, unadulterated loyalty.

These dogs mean business – and that business, while easily taken the wrong way if not understood, is protection. Guardianship. A responsibility to those they love.

This rang true a second time – this time, at a rest stop in Louisiana at 2am not long after the snake bite.

I was kneeled over pouring water for him into his travel bowl just outside of his passenger side door (he rode shotgun with me before he had a growth spurt) and I saw the shadow at the same time I saw his hackles rise. His facial expression and body language did a complete 180, and I did not have to turn around to know that there was someone there who shouldn’t be.

I’ll never forget the way he came out of the shadows just enough to block me and make his teeth and jowls visible. The opportunity was there, but he didn’t take it – the man stumbled backward and was lost into the night. My heart rate had barely had time to rise in the few seconds that this transpired, but it still took me a few deep breaths to register what I’d just witnessed. Forget the potential threat – what my dog, MY dog, had just done was only seen in movies.

Again…he didn’t learn that in obedience class.

Love protects.

A similar situation happened a second time over a year later, on a 5am run. And once again, it was all over in about 10 seconds. Noah was virtually hidden (I can only assume) running on my left side in the shadows of forage, while I was in the light of the sidewalk. A lone vehicle veered onto the (empty) oncoming lane and slammed on the brakes right next to the sidewalk. A man with a hood on (and therefore no facial recognition) exited the car and, as though this had been practiced, Noah executed a perfect whirl to my front, again blocked me, and again demonstrated what the “fear of God” looks like. I need to be fair here in saying that I have only seen this from the side of the joust you want to be on – so I can only assume how it must feel to be on the receiving end.

That said, I believe it’s safe to assume it feels less than desirable – the man promptly did a 180 back into his car, slammed the door and hightailed it down the road. And Noah promptly went from Fear of God, back to happy-tails and trotting along with me down the road.

To this day, he constantly checks behind us on our daily walks.

Love is patient. Love protects.

At this point, you’ve probably figured out that Noah never went anywhere. I deleted my Facebook post about finding him a new home, and we began tackling the world together. Not always successfully, but we continue to try anyway.

Since these very physically threatening moments have happened, some equally mentally and emotionally jarring moments have creeped to the surface as well. We all have bad days, but as each of you reading this likely knows – some bad days are worse than others. Whatever this means to you, I know you understand.

Those days exist. There is no denying it. And again, if I had a nickel for every time this dog has nosed my hands away from my face, pressed his face into mine and tried to get me up when he thought I passed out, barked me out of a nightmare, or simply put a paw on my shoulder when it all just seems like more than I can handle – well.

I might be almost as rich as I already am, simply from the love of a dog. Because, love is kind.

So, yes. Three years to the day he came gallivanting into my heart, he is still in training.

And you know what? So am I.

When won’t I be? Life doesn’t stop to let you catch up. We are ALL constantly learning – hopefully working on becoming better versions of ourselves. This, of course, doesn’t happen across the globe. But just as easily as there are moments that drive you to "It’s 5 o’clock somewhere!", you can bet that there are stories that will never make headlines, never make national news, never make anything really – except, for those brief moments, restore your faith in humanity.

Perhaps in yourself if you find the right dog.

Three years ago today, I found the right dog. I knew it at the time, and as everyone says, “When you know, you know.”  I’ve been asked on a few occasions, would I do it all over again if I knew from the beginning about the amount of baggage that came with him?

I’d like to think I take some time to consider this – adding up each time he has led me to tears, to heartache, to headache, to yell, to drink.

My answer is simply, “yes.” The reason why is irrelevant, but in all truth – you don’t give up on someone you love.

He didn’t on me.

Love is patient.

Love protects.

Love is kind.

Love is an Anatolian Shepherd named Noah who is currently sound asleep on my bed as I type, safe and warm from the bitter January (albeit confused) Texas weather. He takes up the entire bed, and I don’t mind. When I eventually squeeze in with him, he’ll place his paw over my chest and I’ll become a little spoon to a Shepherd. I’ll get a goodnight kiss from a cold nose.

Tomorrow, we begin again. We are both in training, tackling this thing called Life daily. It certainly isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, but dancing in the rain has quite a bit more flavor when you’re learning step by step alongside someone who wants to learn these steps with you.

Not for you, or against you – but simply, with you.

Love is so many things. And I am lucky enough to know this, through the heart of a dog who sees me just as I am.

Flawed. Imperfect. In training.

He knows I don’t always see him just as he is. Because I know the incredible dog he is, it’s hard for me sometimes to keep my mind in check when he has a bad moment. Even as those moments become (slowly) fewer and fewer, he does still have them. And what I have finally come to the realization of is this:

He has a past. So do I.

He has memories. So do I.

He recognizes people whom he simply does not like. So do I.

He recognizes people with whom he immediately feels a rapport. So do I.

He has moments where he simply just needs the reminder that I am there, and it’s ok. So do I…and he has been this reminder for me, from day one.

In three years, without fail, he has never ceased to remind me that he is there.

And three years ago and beyond, I had no clue that I needed this.

Over the course of our time together, I am proud to say that I now do have a really, really good dog. In fact, a recent trainer came to me with words that will resonate with me on those days that aren’t so good: “You know, I meet dogs all the time. You fall in love with all of them, some you don’t want to see go and some you can’t wait to see leave. He is incredible. And he is an incredible dog for you. He’ll always be a one-person dog, and that’s ok. He’ll always need time and patience. But as long as he’s with you, that is one happy dog.”

I have all the time in the world for him. I'LL always need time and patience. But as long as I have him, I'm a happy human. Because…that’s love.

And love is patient.

Love protects.

Love is kind.

And love is always in training.