#god knows I did that too

[tofixtheshadows]

I've been thinking a lot lately about how Kabru deprives himself.

Kabru as a character is intertwined with the idea that sometimes we have to sacrifice the needs of the few for the good of the many. He ultimately subverts this first by sabotaging the Canaries and then by letting Laios go, but in practice he's already been living a life of self-sacrifice.

Saving people, and learning the secrets of the dungeons to seal them, are what's important. Not his own comforts. Not his own desires. He forces them down until he doesn't know they're there, until one of them has to come spilling out during the confession in chapter 76.

Specifically, I think it's very significant, in a story about food and all that it entails, that Kabru is rarely shown eating. He's the deuteragonist of Dungeon Meshi, the cooking manga, but while meals are the anchoring points of Laios's journey, given loving focus, for Kabru, they're ... not.

I'm sure he eats during dungeon expeditions, in the routine way that adventurers must when they sit down to camp. But on the surface, you get the idea that Kabru spends most of his time doing his self-assigned dungeon-related tasks: meeting with people, studying them, putting together that evidence board, researching the dungeon, god knows what else. Feeding himself is secondary.

He's introduced during a meal, eating at a restaurant, just to set up the contrast between his party and Laios's. And it's the last normal meal we see him eating until the communal ending feast (if you consider Falin's dragon parts normal).

First, we get this:

Kabru's response here is such a non-answer, it strongly implies to me that he wasn't thinking about it until Rin brought it up. That he might not even be feeling the hunger signals that he logically knew he should.

They sit down to eat, but Kabru is never drawn reaching for food or eating it like the rest of his party. He only drinks.

It's possible this means nothing, that we can just assume he's putting food in his mouth off-panel, but again, this entire manga is about food. Cooking it, eating it, appreciating it, taking pleasure in it, grounding yourself in the necessary routine of it and affirming your right to live by consuming it. It's given such a huge focus.

We don't see him eat again until the harpy egg.

What a significant question for the protagonist to ask his foil in this story about eating! Aren't you hungry? Aren't you, Kabru?

He was revived only minutes ago after a violent encounter. And then he chokes down food that causes him further harm by triggering him, all because he's so determined to stay in Laios's good graces.

In his flashback, we see Milsiril trying to spoon-feed young Kabru cake that we know he doesn't like. He doesn't want to eat: he wants to be training.

Then with Mithrun, we see him eating the least-monstery monster food he can get his hands on, for the sake of survival- walking mushroom, barometz, an egg. The barometz is his first chance to make something like an a real meal, and he actually seems excited about it because he wants to replicate a lamb dish his mother used to make him!

...but he doesn't get to enjoy it like he wanted to.

Then, when all the Canaries are eating field rations ... Kabru still isn't shown eating. He's only shown giving food to Mithrun.

And of course the next time he eats is the bavarois, which for his sake is at least plant based ... but he still has to use a coping mechanism to get through it.

I don't think Kabru does this all on purpose. I think Kui does this all on purpose. Kabru's Post Traumatic Stress Disorder should be understood as informing his character just as much as Laios's autism informs his. It's another way that Kabru and Laios act as foils: where Laios takes pleasure in meals and approaches food with the excitement of discovery, Kabru's experiences with eating are tainted by his trauma. Laios indulges; Kabru denies himself. Laios is shown enjoying food, Kabru is shown struggling with it.

And I can very easily imagine a reason why Kabru might have a subconscious aversion towards eating.

Meals are the privilege of the living.

#Dungeon Meshi #Delicious in Dungeon #Kabru #Kabru of Utaya #Laios Touden #Dungeon Meshi meta #you can have him in the tags too. as a treat. #Dungeon Meshi spoilers #this was directly inspired by livelaughlaios's post about Kabru self harming but I decided it got too long to make it a direct reply #this is a theory I've been working on for weeks because I kept noticing this while skimming for screencaps #I'm hesitant to trigger tag this because of the way certain subcultures on tumblr operate #but if anyone needs me to add a content warning please let me know #also I included image descriptions! I did my best #I think they even help illustrate my points but my god were they sad to write. Kabru is so fucking sad you guys #musings with Dea

[myname-isnia]

How do I politely tell my friend to fuck off

#she’s been getting on my nerves for months I can’t do this anymore #I thought I was doing a nice thing #letting her play video games on my laptop when she stays over #bc her parents are over controlling and won’t let her #but now all she ever does is play when she comes over #and doesn’t pay any attention to me #what’s the point of coming over if you’re gonna ignore your friend #to the point that I fucked off to the kitchen for like two hours and she did. not. notice #like i understand needing to get away from shitty parents #god knows I did that too #but when I went over to my friend’s house we played video games TOGETHER #AND WE TALKED AND WENT ON WALKS AND HAD FUN #TOGETHER #I DIDN’T GO OVER SAYING WELP THANKS FOR THE COMPUTER PISS OFF I’M GONNA PLAY NOW #WE HAD MINECRAFT WORLDS AND JUST DANCE COMPETITIONS AND SIMSELVES #I hate being mean but honestly I’m this close to snapping #this close to just deleting that fucking game

[time-woods]

partyhappenings as i go insane

#fionna and cake #prismo the wishmaster #scarab the god auditor #prohibitedwish #adventure time #not intended to be suggestive just gay sensory stuff #bug doesnt know how to DEEEAAAALLLL #i did this weeks ago but i was too embarrassed to post

[smedenn]

Helluva Boss Full Moon Spoilers‼️

Remember that anger is a secondary emotion

#god I’m so sad #WHY DID LOONA SAY THAG #HES RUNNING #HES RUNNING SO FAST #HE ONLY FOCUSES ON FHE SEXT STUFF BC ITS A DISTRACTION FROM HIS FEELINGS #YOU KNOW SONIC HE LIKES TO RUN #GOD #I CANT WAIT FOR ALL THE BLITZO HATERS OUT THERE #TO COMPLETELY MISINTERPRET THIS SCENE #YEAH HE SAID SHITTY THINGS #HE NEEDS TO APOLOGIZE #BUT STOLAS ISNT INNOCENT EITHER #AHHHHHH #I HAVE TOO MANY THOUGHTS #stolitz #helluva boss #stolas #blitzo #hellaverse #helluva blitzo #helluva boss blitz #blitzo x stolas #helluva boss the full moon spoilers #helluva boss spoilers #full moon spoilers #helluva boss the full moon #helluva boss full moon #helluva boss full moon spoilers

[lesbiamano]

finally drew d'arce on a horse!!

#fear and hunger #funger #d'arce cataliss #d'arce fear and hunger #horse girl d'arce cataliss #my beloved #she's such a girlfailure but she gets to look cool on a horse every once in a while too #i don't know what i did. with the shading i was coloring with half a mind #god bless you my religious butch girlfriend

[akans-dead-at-sea]

It's alright

30 second timelapse:

#ofmd #ofmd s2 #ofmd fanart #our flag means death #“I am a brave boy and will NOT cry while getting reference screenshots of Ed” he said. #*barely manages to hit Win+Shift+S through the fucking tears* #I'm sorry but this is the only decent OFMD fanart I got in me for now #I'm shit at drawing people with faces/head and I still gotta learn and find a style but god knows the gay pirates are gonna help me practic #I still need to recover from this scene- this episode- this season- this show goddamnit #ngl at first I liked how I drew Ed's hair but the more I look at it now the less I like it >:C #did I forget to post this? no nope nuh uh I don't know what you're talking about #this absolutely blew up on twitter- lowkey hope tumblr dot com likes it too :> #ed teach #stede bonnet #gentlebeard #ofmd s2e8 #tw blood #blood #akans art

[seventh-district]

Making Incorrect H:SR Quotes Until I Run Out of (hopefully) Original Ideas - Pt. 3 - Random Screenshot Edition

[Pt. 1] [Pt. 2] [Pt. 4] [Pt. 5] [Pt. 6]

#hsr spoilers #hsr #honkai star rail #hsr textpost #hsr incorrect quotes #honkai star rail memes #hsr memes #honkai star rail meme #hsr meme #stelle #hsr trailblazer #boothill #jingliu #bailu #dan heng #blade #kafka #jing yuan #yanqing #dr ratio #aventurine #sunday #ough so many character tags. what a mess of a post. as always i sure do hope none of these have been done before! #anyways i've once again spent too long on these and can't tell if they're actually funny anymore but oh well i'm still postin' em #i've once again struggled and done my best to make good ID's in the alt text but i still don't know if they're done right aaaaa #also realized while doing so that i forgot to put Jingliu's face over the tumblr post's icon but i'm not fixing it now! just pretend i did #i don't believe i'll make any more like these bc it's harder than you'd think to find the exact images/screenshots to fit with the posts #but these were most of the ones that i felt needed the extra context anyways. now i'll return to my usual lower-effort edits #oh god also ignore how the sandpit one is flipped. i had to do that to get them on the right sides to match the messages 😭

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt in Memes 4

Another prompt, but in memes because trying to gather my thoughts is hard sometimes lol.

#prompts #memes #batman au #batman #cryptid batman #cryptid batfam #cryptid batfamily #batfamily #batfam prompts #batfam #Bruce: This surely will be fine :) #Dick: Gotham made me like they made B :) #League: the what did what now #Barbara: I formed from his tech & could get away with all your murders :) #Jason: I am the embodiment of Crime Alley and Retribution :) #Cass: I am Gotham's shadow :) #Tim: Oh I'm a child :) #The league: Oh thank fuck a normal child- #Tim: Well at least my body is a child but TECHNICALLY- #Steph: I'm his twin and the other side of his Chaos :) #Duke: Hi I'm the Bat Signal :) #Damian: I am the blood son #The League: Oh gods he means that literally doesn't he like some sort of creature made entirely from blood- #Bruce: I am not sure why I expected this Not to escalate but it's too far to go back now #Why yes they can all fit in his cape even when they become older and no one knows how or why #If they even age I mean Gotham could just be Like that where people sometimes stop aging #Kind of like what's going on in Fawcett just more goth #meme

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

It’s turning out to be a bad day when Jason finds himself stabbed during a drug bust.

It’s turning out to be a very bad day when he starts to feel woozy (seriously, what the hell? It was just a little stabbing) and promptly collapses.

It’s turning out to be a monumentally bad day when the batfamily drop in on his drug bust.

And then the night takes a hard nose dive into catastrophically bad, because whatever toxin that blade was laced with? It’s making his heartbeat slow down into near flatline, paralyzing Jason in the process.

And now he’s stuck listening to his family lose it completely upon finding his “dead” body.

… shit.

#don’t you just love it when your family thinks you’re dead again #but hey at least Jason finds out that they absolutely DO care about him #Damian needs to be sedated because he was about to murder every single person in that warehouse #oh yeah did I mention it’s a warehouse again #lmao #Nightwing just—- zones out. crashes. dissociates. #Tim is trying for frantic cpr #(ouch ouch OUCH replacement) #Bruce can’t do this again #please he CAN’Y #he couldn’t have been too late again oh god #Jason would be crying if he wasn’t paralyzed #that raw grief is contagious #presumed dead #prompts #yeah I know it’s similar to a previous prompt #VUT I NEED MORE PRESUMED DEAD FICS OK #jason todd #batfamily #dick grayson #batfam #bruce wayne #robin #red hood #tim drake #batman

[cowardlykrow]

Despite herself, the Emma is wooed

#an anon wanted Paul and or Emma so here’s both! #just don’t look at the arms don’t do it stop it oh my god #alt captions: Getcha cup of autistic rizz #//Art request #this was the kinda piece where I knew it was going wrong but I was too stubborn to pause and fix it ✨ #Paulkins #that’s the ship name right? #Paul matthews #Emma Perkins #Oh PS. all artist and non artist: Make sure to go to your visibility settings and turn on Prevent third party sharing! #will it help? who knows but at least you’ll have some proof you did not agree to the AI bs #starkid #hatchetfield #tgwdlm #Jon has such…. such a face! I don’t think I can ever do it properly #the guy who didn’t like musicals #@staff 👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎

[bakudekublogblog]

not to be dramatic but hori literally out did my own self indulgent wish-fulfillment fanfic with the whole “rest of our lives speech” like I knew that sounded so romantic, and it is, because I literally wrote that line for bakudeku and I intended for it to be romantic

like hori really is just showing us bakudeku fanfic writers how it’s done

#bakudeku #bkdk #mha #my hero academia #bnha #the fic is pinned on my profile if you’re curious hehe #BUT HORI OUT DID ME I HAD BKDK BEING BESTIES FOR A YEAR BEFORE KACCHAN AND IZUKU PROMISED THE REST OF THEIR LIVES TO EACH OTHER #like hori was like guys that’s so cute but how about instead kacchan proposes immediately #AND ITS ANGSTY BC YOU KNOW IZUKU WANTS TO SAY YES #YOU SEE HIM TRYING TO SAY YES #YOU SEE HIM BEING LIKE I WANT TO I WANT THIS I WANT YOU #BUT KACCHAN PROMISES HIM EVERYTHING HES EVER WANTED THE MOMENT ITS TOO LATE #GOD #HORI THIS IS MASTERFUL ANGST FIC MATERIAL #LIKE HORI ARE YOU INTENDING TO WRITE PREMIUM DRAMATIC YAOI #BECAUSE THIS IS LIKE YAOI COCAINE ITS LIKE TOP SHELF YAOI SHIT RIGHT HERE #AND ITS FUCKING CANON???? #JESUS CHRIST HORI I’M BEGGING FOR A FOREHEAD TOUCH #THEYRE YEARNING LOOK AT THEM YEARNING THEY NEED IT

[fexiled]

@stanuary Week Four: Strangers & Brothers

who are you again

#gravity falls #stanley pines #stan pines #stanford pines #ford pines #stanuary #forduary #tagging it forduary too bc it fits the themes and i know i'm not gonna draw anything else for it this month lol #fex draws #this is like. so far from what the concept looked like in my mind but oh well #it's done and thank god for that #bringing back the fun red/blue coloring i did for one of my pieces during the first forduary #did i do it better this time? you tell me! #eyestrain #eye strain #just in case

[rei-is-hiding]

#you know... bc his name is... CLOUD #you can't tell me they didn't crack jokes like this there's just too much opportunity #and zack WOULD #i did this little thing back in january btw i have no new content srry kjkhjkhj #but i'm so hyped for ff7 agaiiiin after the new trailer god help me #cloud strife #zack fair #final fantasy 7 #ff 7 #final fantasy vii #ff vii #crisis core #crisis core reunion #final fantasy 7 fanart #zakkura #zack x cloud #final fantasy 7 meme #ff7ccr #ff7 remake #shinra company #ff7 fanart #art commissions #open commissions

[egophiliac]

HOW WE FEELING ABOUT THE UPCOMING NEWSS 👹👹👹

man, it's a good thing they stopped doing the episode 7 SSRs, because I'm really low on keys and gems right now and --

OH NO

#twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 chapter 6 spoilers #IT'S MY BOY #MY BEAUTIFUL ELECTRIC BOY #LOOK AT HIM! HE'S A BIG BRAVE KNIGHT!!!!!!! #but in a good way or a bad way. IS IT IN A GOOD WAY OR A BAD WAY TWST?! #'armor of the eternal night' that's not ominous at all NOPE #malleus is nightmare moon confirmed #wait. wait. hold on. armor of the eternal KNIGHT. ha ha i'm sorry i'm losing my mind a little #me zooming in to the banner as if that's going to tell me anything new: is that a crocodile mask. is he wearing baul's mask. #they did the half mask thing in lilia's card too so i think it's just to show his face in the card art. but it could also be a Thing. #I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING #god this is cerberus ortho all over again. what could it possibly MEAN #someone on the twst pr team really loves seeing us lose our goddamn minds huh #okay okay okay i'm cool i'm good i'm calm #let me just arrange my red thread on my corkboard here #unified exams end on the 11th so we're looking at >2 weeks here #eeeeek #sorry jamil your kelkkarotu card looks lovely but we'll have to catch up later #(do love that they straight-up were like 'kelkkarotu rerun featuring jamil as sir not appearing in this story') #man i'm so glad my horrible shrieky son is getting a big fancy story card #i hope this means silver gets one too #i hope this means EVERYONE gets one too #YOU GET A FANCY STORY SSR! AND YOU GET A FANCY STORY SSR! #DECADENTLY-ILLUSTRATED PLOT TWISTS FOR EVERYONE

[marklikely]

the movie did such a good job at putting me in isabel/owens shoes honestly because i was looking at tara/maddys monologue scene through a lens of just not letting go of nostalgia so i was like 'oh my god do not get in that hole in the ground. this is crazy' but then two minutes later with hindsight i Understood and was like 'NO YOU SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN IN THE HOLE IN THE GROUND GO BACK'

#thats how you know its a good metaphor because this was also exactly my cycle with hrt for like 6 straight years #'oh my god you cant get on testosterone right now theres all this. it would be crazy' #*2 years later* oh my god why didnt i start hrt back then that was so stupid. it would have been so easy. i cant do it now of course. #*2 years later* oh my god why didnt i start hrt back then it would have been so ea #avpost #movie diary #i saw the tv glow #but hey anyway i DID start hrt its not too late etc etc. please god go bury yourself in that hole in the ground right now.

[queenlucythevaliant]

Just to clarify my thoughts (since I've had a number of people ask me about it) re: Job and cursing God. There's a big difference between cursing God as used in Scripture and how we generally would think of cursing at God today.

Cursing someone, in the Bible, has a lot of depth to it. It's not just saying "screw you " in anger, it's got a sense of forsakenness to it. It's the opposite of a blessing, a removal of blessing. If the blessing is presence, your face shining on the person you're blessing, then a curse is absence. In some translations, Job's wife tells him to "renounce God and die," which I honestly think makes a lot more sense to modern ears.

Job says a lot of unpleasant things to and about God in his anger and grief. So do the Psalmists. A number of the Prophets. So can we. God can take it if we come to him with honest expressions of our emotion, including those not-so-nice ones directed at him. I don't think there's anything wrong with getting mad at God and saying, "How dare you, you bastard" when you suffer unjustly. You can say much worse, I think, without sinning, though I don't feel particularly inclined to give examples. But as long as it's an honest expression of your heart, I think you're doing exactly what prayer is for. You're presenting him your heart with an open hand. He can use that. Opposite of love is not hate but indifference, etc.

Job doesn't renounce God. Neither should we. But I think when you're truly suffering, you're gonna have those feelings toward God either way. He'd rather you address them with him directly than try to avoid them. Cursing at God in the modern sense is actually a great way to keep the relationship strong and not end up cursing/renouncing him in the Biblical sense.

#i did try to draw that distinction in the original post but I didn't really go into detail #mostly bc i was trying to be concise and just focus on how the church talks to sufferers #so here's the long version #pontifications and creations #only thou art holy #also side note: there was someone yesterday who responded to that post with the suggestion that suffering is generally the sufferer's fault #and it got worse from there #just an absolutely rank response that had me immediately blocking that person and googling if there was a way to remove someone's addition #idk to what degree that person is an active member of this broader christian community we've got going on here #but if you see that post (and you'll know it when you see it) please as a favor to me don't interact with it #there were some lovely responses and additions to that post yesterday too #but that one made me mad #idk. to a certain degree i wanted to vent #they're blocked now though so whatever #anyway. I've sort of been percolating on these various thoughts for a few weeks #since i went to a really fluffy women's talk on suffering #and now i kind of want to give my version #I'm far from the greatest sufferer in the world. i am well aware of that #but as I've been sick I've just done So Much Thinking and reading about theodicy and struggle with God that i feel qualified to opine #unlike the giver of that talk #anyway #tag rant over #...for now #theodicy