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samwinchestersbf · 1 year

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"I Will"

Sam Winchester x Reader

This was based on Mitski's song, I just love her music so much.

Authors note: Suprise!! A comfort fic!! I haven't been doing the best lately, my mental health is really getting to me. I think writing this may help :) Beware of any writing mistakes, it's 4 am right now so criticism is welcomed. (silly hours for me) Non-specific reader and this one might be a little small.

Reblogs are appreciated!! <3

He was always so caring and lovely no matter what, you knew that.

However, something inside of you just ate at you for days, weeks even. It was different and difficult, causing the past to reel you back in. The 'What if' thoughts were consuming you once again.

What if that never happened to you? What if everything you went through was for nothing? What if this was the last week for you? What if you're just making it all up? What if.

The sadness was a persistent parasite, you wanted it out of you.

You were a little avoident and dismissive about it, throwing "Yep I'm good"'s at him.

He knew something was actually up with you, he attempted to try to fish it out of you.

You started to refuse to sleep in the same bed, if you did it would only be for a little bit before rising earlier than he did. You slept in the library or even the kitchen, your excuses with research and exhaustion weren't cutting it anymore.

He didn't do anything wrong, it was you being you.

He was finally able to corner you, catching you up in your lies.

You two were sitting in the impala, Dean in the store for some food on the ride home. You, in the backseat, pretending to be asleep so you could wiggle your way out of the tense situation.

"You're getting worse, I can see it. Please just talk to me, I will take good care of you."

You took a quiet deep breath to reject the tears.

You couldn't explain it to anyone out loud, it felt like an internalized argument with yourself.

An argument of upset and angry thoughts. You wanted help but the shame and bravery of asking for help was overwhelming to ignore.

His hand patiently reached for yours. It was warm and soothing. You ached for his love yet you couldn't bring yourself to embrace it.

"I'm sorry," is all you could mutter out. How could you explain to him?

Sorry Sam! The thoughts are getting worse and I'm not sure if I'll make it this time. I hope you can understand!

As if that was okay to tell him, it'll raise him to questions and concerns.

Dean came back to the car, putting an end to the situation. He was aware of how your mental state was, you weren't too hard to read.

He offered you food and you accepted it out of a hint of guilt if you didn't. You just placed the food next to you and watched the environment move when he backed out of the parking lot.

The drive was going normal, their normal brother bickering and silence. They were having a talk about the hunt you all got done with yesterday.

You decided to tune it all out, ruminating in your own world.

You thought of ways to tell him. Maybe you didn't need to, you could just lock it all away to eventually forget.

You started to feel a sense of dread building up in you so you attempted to sleep it off.

You woke up with soft whispers of your name, Sam's voice trying to wake you up.

Due to the lack of sleep and high alert you bolted up, sitting straight and facing him.

"We're here now, come inside so we can talk."

Those words made you feel small as a little kid would when they get in deep shit. You thought about it more, that's all you've been doing as of lately.

You got out of the car with Sam trailing behind you.

Dean must've been inside already, ready to booze and snooze.

The two of you just walked in the same tense atmosphere as before, making your way to your shared room.

He closed the door behind and immediately wrapped his arms around you in such a gentle way.

Obviously you couldn't help but sob in his care, you needed it so much. Repeating the words 'I'm sorry' to him over and over.

It never felt enough.

He never said anything during it, he understood sometimes you struggle. He played with your hair, guiding you to the bed to sit down with him.

"It's okay to feel this way", he replied to your aftermath of crying.

"I'm always here for you. I will always be here for you. There's no need to run and hide from it." The way he spoke to you in that tone, you wanted to melt in his love.

"Do you want to talk about it?" You shook your head still unsure of how to talk about it. He gave a simple nod and hugged you a little tighter before letting go.

"We should go clean up, we're dirty from that hunt."

Sam held your hand the entire time as he lead you to the showers.

You both stood in silence again, just appreciating each other while the water ran. You wished the peaceful intimate moments with him lasted forever.

The night ended with him holding you, the tense atmosphere now replaced with kindness and comfort.

"It's just getting really bad again, I just want it to stop."

"We can get through it together, please just stay with me for now."

#sam winchester #sam winchester x reader #x reader #fanfic #comfort #supernatural #supernatural x reader #supernatural sam #supernatural dean #dean winchester #help me im so fucking sad #comfort fic #comfort is good right?!?!?!#god i yearn for this man #im gay for sam winchester

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krussyarts · 3 months

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I'm gonna throw up my brain is so full of these two

#Posting ugly wips motivates me to finish a piece #So uh. Here's the ugly wip #Good Omens #Good Omens 2 #aziraphale #crowley #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #God im sick #It may not look it #But I'm much worse about Aziraphale than Crowley #I want to pick his brain so bad #I need to see him suffer #I need him to hit his lowest point next season #This startet with Aziraphale having gay panic over a slightly more possessive arm on shoulder #And then spiraled into me drawing David Tennant a million times (don't ask about the sketches)#this has been sitting in my drafts for 6 months help #i forgor to post this #to be fair i guess. after saving this i had made some pretty big changes to the layout and i redid the lineart #and then my laptop died. for some reason nothing was saved so yeah. i hate looking at this lowkey so ill post smth else soon

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kermit-coded · 8 months

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i will never be able to put into words how much the percy jackson books mean to me... they were a formative experience and they truly helped shape me into the person i am today, so the fact that we're finally getting a good live action makes me feel unwell...

#i will be SO insufferable when this comes out #also the riordianverse in general was my introduction to a lot of different people and cultures #first positive exposure to gay and trans people #first positive exposure to muslim/nonchristian folks #it helped me learn about the world around me #and i know they arent perfect but god they mean so much to me #so im sobbing fr that theyre getting it right...#the bit in tkc where carter mentions that his dad told him that he needs to dress well bc otherwise he's going to be seen as a threat as #a black man in america #the parts in mcga where samirah talks about her faith #specifically when she has magnus take watch for her while shes praying #and alex's whole introduction and the exchange about his/her prounouns #specifically magnus going ''wouldnt it be easier just to go by they/them'' and alex saying ''easier for who?''#all live rent free in my head #as a queer kid stuck at catholic school and surrounded by conservative adults these books saved my life #pjo tv show #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson disney+#soda speaks #riordanverse #pjo

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mytortoisegotstuckinatupperware · 10 months

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not to be horny on main but where is my coming of age swimming-in-a-lake-with-the-love-of-my-life gonna happen

#firebird #call me by your name #red white and royal blue movie #pls help #help me god #they're in love your honor #they're so pretty #im so gay #gay #mlm yearning #gay mlm #gay yearning #wait this actually happens a lot #and I love it

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azumadeline · 2 years

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osaker sleepy (honestly quite incredible)

#azumanga daioh #i have no shame #but i also do #god help me im so gay

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meatydog · 7 months

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I need and want her

N O W

I ' L L D O A N Y T H I N G

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

#I simp to much #help me #send help #please #i beg of you #the amazing digital circus #pomni x reader #pomni x Y/N #There needs to be more fanart of Pomni x Y/N please I swear to god-#i'm too gay for this #I'm crazy #I'm a simp #Please #im so normal #I lied I'm not normal lol :)#but srs help me #I'm desperate for heeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

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enhanced-operatives-division · 2 months

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Junicrane/Starstruck Ramble

I will not be brief, all under the cut

To clear some things right off the bat:

No corpse, no proof with Juniper. Obligatory this is set in a canon where he's alive and adjacent to the agency in some way.

Reggie & Juniper are just gay to me, but I don't mind any interpretation of their sexuality

The games are set in 1967/68 to me (based on a couple bits in game) which is before it was legal to be gay in America at least (1971), which is relevant to how I interpret canon as being somewhat grounded in reality, despite unrealistic elements.

This is just an insane amount of headcanons/elements of and AU all culminated into one post. I will talk about some headcanons like they're just facts because they are established in my head, and it saves me over explaining literally everything, however I will explain some parts a little bit for clarity.

Alright. Actual beginning of the ramble:

Juniper is a character to me who had gotten so lost in his job as an actor and a social presence that in the end his whole life revolved around that 'role'. Because of this, by the time he's put into the situation where he's around the Agency, he basically knows nothing about himself, though he doesn't realise at first. Furthermore, what little identity he had has changed in so many ways. He's no longer a beloved famous actor in the prominence of public light, he's legally dead and he tarnished his career just before he was supposed to die, with the bonus of that making him lose the majority of his estate. From that, he also has horrific facial scarring from the electrical burns from literally having his face fried. I believe a friend of mine made a post about this a while ago (I also think they were the first to think it up also), but, to me, Juniper has a permanent trimmer in his right arm (aka his dominant hand) from the electrical current and it is messing with his nervous system.

All in all, he's not doing great, but he's too proud to admit that he's not doing great, because if anything, what's left of his ego is all he has as a defense since he's deep in unfamiliar water.

Before ending up around the agency (I have multiple interpretations of this, so I'm just going to bring it up generally), he'd never actually seen Reggie, and his only impression of him is a single voicemail, which was his only reference he had to later impersonate him. Juniper probably has very little feelings other than the ones he projects onto him because of Phoenix and that, at the very least, he's physically attracted to Reggie to some degree (that's like the beginning of how everything else would tumble into place in this sort of interpretation at least).

And on Crane's side? His feelings towards Juniper are probably very intense and muddled. On the one hand, he adores musical theatre, and that's his now ex-favourite actor. The thought of just casually being around him blows the bit of fanboy in him away at first because THAT'S the GUY, plus the inklings of a celebrity crush which still poke at him. And then there's the rational side of him, which knows Juniper has committed absolute atrocities on the side of Zoraxis, and hates him for that. Then there's how much Juniper comes off as an asshole at first because he refuses to cooperate with anything the Agency tried to put in place. He finds Juniper endlessly frustrating, and yet he's stuck working with him since, afterall, he's the one who knows the Agency's history with Juniper the best. I imagine him acting a lot like how he does IEYTD 1 around Juniper.

At this point, I'm just describing the pitch for a romcom.

I think the start of their relationship with one another largely started with Juniper trying to wind Crane up. It was a way of getting his attention, and I don't think Juniper knows why he's so dead set on that at first, because I don't think he realises he has a crush on 'this grump' at first. (I think that's actually the fun part about these two, because it's almost like a role reversal of the celebrity crush dynamic. This ex-big name actor has a TERRIBLE crush on an average joe and it is KILLING HIM.) But of course the Agency keeps them together because Juniper is at least conversing with Crane, so it's a start.

Through one way or another, they actually get talking casually, at least mildly at first. It takes Juniper a long time to fully deconstruct the wall he's built, and the thing is, Crane isn't the one trying to deconstruct it, at least at first, because yeah, Juniper realises if he wants Reggie to actually like him in any way, he can't keep winding him up. So they talk. Small talk at first, something rhythmic and almost easy to keep to a script. And over time that turns into actual conversations. Genuine ones in which Reggie rips out the occasional one of his jokes which Juniper is endlessly endeared about. The way he smiles just before he makes them, like he wants to chuckle at what he's about to say before he says it. That's probably when Juniper realised that he does have some vague crush on him, and that it wasn't going away.

This is what kickstarts John I can't-buy-you-things-to-impress-you-so-acts-of-service-it-is Juniper to do little things for him. It mostly starts off as him trying to make Reggie his tea how he likes it. However, the nerve damage in his arm makes that hard, as the weight of the kettle and trying to pour is hard all of a sudden. And he refuses to accept that, so he tries for a very long while. Long enough that Crane would go to investigate what was going on. And when he does see Juniper leaning over a cup with the kettle as he uneasily tries to pour it, and when Crane asks Juniper responds so matter-of-fact that his intention is nothing but genuine. And it catches Reggie off guard because Juniper hadn't done anything like that up to that point, and his very apparent vulnerability is so clearly on show.

It shifts something between them.

From that point on, conversations are longer, more familiar. Both of their attitudes soften, and Reggie makes more jokes. Juniper learns how to better use his left hand while strengthening his right back to a point where it could be used again. Slowly, they're both spending time with one another not because they have to, but just because they can. Little bits at first, not too far outside what they already were doing, but those little bits turned into long bits to a point where the other person's company was genuinely desirable.

As time passes, Juniper probably realises that he doesn't genuinely know much about himself or what hobbies he's into, because he never really had the time when he got big, and his home life in his youth wasn't bad, but it wasn't picturesque. I think Reggie would pick up on it, and absolutely try to introduce him to some things he's into. Some things stick, other things don't (corn husking very much stays Reggie's passion, and John will go with him sometimes because it's him, but it's not something he strongly cares for). Crane introduces him to a lot of music, and it's something that becomes a staple between them, with tracks they listen to more than others (tragically, I know relatively little about 60s music so I couldn't really say what). Occasionally they dance, never anything intense, think slow dancing, but the closeness is nice.

Through all of it, Juniper is battling the worst crush of his life, and he can't stand it, because I think he struggles to read people since he doesn't have anything like a script or a director to refer back to, so he has no idea if Reggie likes him back or if he's just desperate for that to be true. I think because of that any sort of confession between them would be incredibly raw, not only because of the time they live in making it hard for them to be truthful about how they love, but because it's a complete show of Juniper who's worked to be this better person. I don't exactly know how that would go, mainly because I don't have one set version of their dynamic, this post is just a generalisation of main consistent points.

Reggie does like him back, because he's gotten used to Juniper being just this guy, not a figure in the public eye, not a Zoraxis lackey, and not any sort of Agency operative (despite being under their care to some degree). He's someone he genuinely cares for, because they've given one another the time of day to learn one another, and I think because Reggie was a field agent, he was a lot better at reading Juniper than Juniper was at reading him. Eventually Juniper's company becomes something he could see around him for the rest of his life, and I think he accepts that he likes Juniper a lot more gracefully.

I think any affection directed at Juniper would at first be met with him feeling a little muddled. Reggie was a very physically affectionate person when he could be, and sure the initial flirting with one another came with the occasional little touches, but everything now was so deeply intentional. I also don't think Juniper would almost ever get over the novelty of being able to kiss him, or many other gestures, because it made the fact that they were together so very real, and it was great. I do think it comes easier to Reggie, and it's a big way of showing how much he cares, so it's important for Juniper to try and show it back because he knows how much it means to the other.

I like the idea of them eventually living with one another, too. I think Juniper would have always had a quiet little daydream of sorts where he does just live a domestic quiet life, and he can with Reggie (well, as close as they can get between the Agency and Zoraxis always being at odds), and he loves that, and he loves him, and it's immense.

I think they cook for one another a lot, it helps Juniper work on his dexterity in a controlled environment, which means a lot because it's a huge point of insecurity (that and his scars). He does improve, and Crane is proud of that and shows it and it's great. I also think they'd probably cook together too, because they can deal with being in the kitchen together and they work well with one another. It's probably a good way for them to unwind because over time they can do it in relative silence.

As I said before, I also think music is a staple in their household, and that Reggie listens to things on vinyl almost all of the time because he likes the background noise. Sometimes Juniper will catch him chuntering along to the music which he finds endlessly endearing. I wouldn't put it past his dramatic ass to also join in to fluster Reggie, but I also don't think Reggie would mind that terribly because Juniper has listened to the music enough to know the lyrics, and that's huge to him.

I don't think they are without rough patches, no relationship is, but I think the good part about them is that they're willing to talk about it (... eventually). They're used to long conversations, and while they're often less fun conversations, they're needed and they know that, and it works out.

Alright. I think I'm done for now. I haven't mentioned everything, but this definitely got the worst of it out of my system. If you ever want to hear any specific thoughts my ask box is open but other than that, behold my general dynamic for these two which has been festering in my head for years. I think they're great

#ty right-agent for explicitly telling me that this would be welcomed you a real one #i had a massive babble to my friend abt what if they all feed me to the hounds for speaking #and he said “girl that fandom is like 12 people big they need you to speak” and yeah that also helped #i have a hard time talking if I'm not asked/prompted to that's why i adding tags is great for me. that and i like the format #anyways.#THESE TWO.............dear lord can you tell I have been unwell abt them forever..#this is propeganda (/j) for them. btw. please you have to understand the potential here. it's so good.#it's slowburn <- my (probably) demiromantic ass cannot handle romance without a build up and this set up is perfect (it will never happen)#also i find it easier to write ANYTHING between these two from Juniper's perspective because i find it easier to get into his head #idk reggie is like the gay version of the: what is he thinking of? i could take a bear in a fight. audio ive heard.#whereas with juniper i have him trapped under a microscope #im going to tag this now so i can use the remaining tags to RANT #ieytd #john juniper #reginald crane #junicrane #starstruck #i expect you to die #<- being BRAVE!!!#when I get really excited i start getting like this internal shaking feeling and uh. yeah this rant started that #the worst part abt that is it also triggers my tourettes so like. double whammy. excited about blorbos? jail :(#but. yeah I uh. yeah. sorry this IS so long..I did warn but . AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHAUUUUUUAHHHHHHHHHHHHH #also i did this rant in 2 parts. last night and this morning so yeah uh. yeah.#god im so messed up about these two #make me a boat by the family crest came on while wroting this and while it's mainly a roxanix song to me......AUUUUUG.....#i struggle to find music for these sillies because they have such a specific vibe to me amd I've not quite managed to find something which -#- genuinely feels correct for them and it drives me up the WALL #GOD NIGHT SHIFT JUST CAME OF SHUFFL.....all my ieytd songs are coming out to drive me up the wall.......#FINISHED I've been adding tags as I've gone alonga #thank you for reading hope you enoyed and if you didn't im sorry

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thrasheraxe · 7 months

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Ahhh, what a thrill!! 🙈✨

I wanna request a James/Reader story. The reader is biologically female, but is gender fluid but usually likes to be treated like a boy.

The story would be about his first time. It would start out soft and end up rough.

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Thanks and sorry for my English. 🤧

hetfield x gender fluid reader

weee woo!! thank you for this one!! im not gender fluid myself but ill give it my best go!!🫶

thinking current james and these images because DUHHH

cw: smut, talk of gender identity, virginity, age difference

prompt: genderfluid reader who is an illustrator working at the park one day, when they come across garage owning James, unbeknownst to the reader he was also in a local band

sitting on a park bench watching the world go by and drawing the scenery around you was one of your favourite ways to relax. there was no judgement there, dressed in a baggy hoodie and jeans you had no fear. even if you were masc presenting today its not like strangers would notice or even care, they just thought of you as some guy on the park bench and that made you happy.

coming out as genderfluid had been hard on you, it wasn't easy to find anyone so accepting or even just understanding, so you'd take your comfort elsewhere. it was no small feat and it was even harder to find like minded individuals, you often thought of others like you and wished to make them not feel as alone as you did.

you almost didn't notice the larger man approaching you, headphones in and staring intently at the forest line trying to capture every detail. he pats you on the shoulder lightly, an older gentleman something you weren't expecting. most of the interaction you'd had at this place was from sweet old ladies who would ask for the time.

cigar in hand and a cowboy hat on his head (which was out of place for the city but it worked for him), he stared down at you with his piercing blue eyes and a bright smile while you took out your earphones. a slight confused expression as you spoke softly.

"uhm..hello?"

"oh sorry darl, didn't mean to spook you, i was just strolling past and noticed your drawings, they are very impressive, can i take a look?" his voice was soft and calming. hesitantly you passed him the sketchpad sheets you were working on.

“wow…i mean wow..” he strokes his finger over the linework lightly, just adoring it. his smile is still bright and as you look at him, you realise this man is stunningly beautiful. even this is enough to make you blush.

“this is fantastic, you work as an illustrator?”

“n-no, it’s mainly something i keep to myself, i uh, work in retail.” you cringe at your own words sounding meek and uninteresting.

“well…can you draw anything or are you just into nature?” his tone kind as he looked directly at you. he had no judgement at all.

“uh yeah i mean i can always try can’t i?”

“well, i actually run an autoshop, and ive been looking for something to spruce up the walls a bit, you think you’d be able to design something for me? not for free of course”

you grin at his suggestion, the mere thought alone of someone enjoying your work was insane but now wanting to pay for it? it was some sort of blasphemy in your eyes.

“of course! i could do that. could probably get it done in a few hours”

“amazing, thank you sweetheart, james by the way. if you think you could get something done that quick, why don’t you come by the Luxe downton? my band is actually playing there.”

He had a huge grin on his face and he was clearly proud of himself for that subtle mention. his gaze not leaving your eyes.

“yeah that’d be really fun.” you smile sheepishly and nod. you also pause and tell him your name with a laugh, realising you’d neglected to mention it.

“great see you at eight” still with that grin on his face, he winks and walks off leaving you in awe of this mysterious and handsome individual.

it didn’t take you long to get home and in the fully lit presence of your desk, bubbling with inspiration you sketch up something. it was nice, in a weird way he’d inspired you with his compliment but you kept it simple. this was for a stranger after all, a simple sketch of an old ‘67 chevy impala, carefully shaded in and small subtle details. you sign your name and get ready for the night, time escaping you faster than you’d thought.

as you arrived, hair done and settling with a slightly nicer combination of jeans and a button up, you plop yourself down at the bar looking out for james. it wasn’t until the first notes of an unfamiliar song that you see him on the stage, he gives you a subtle smile and a nod.

you sat there taking in the environment and enjoying the set they played, bopping your head along and nursing a drink. his voice was actually quite spectacular which added to your already slight attraction to this man.

after he had finished, he made his way over to you, beer in hand with a grin.

“hey there sweetheart.”

“hi” you answer nervously, quick to reach for your bag and grab the drawing out of it, meticulously glued to a piece of card and protected by a sleeve as not to damage it. he takes it out of your hand and with one look his eyes widened.

“wow! this is…amazing…thank you so much, darlin’, let me know how I can repay you?”

you smile brightly and shake your head, a slight blush creeping onto your cheeks

“no, no. that’s okay! i actually had a lot of fun, it was nice to work on something different for a change.”

“least let me buy you a drink, sweetheart?”

“that’d be really nice, thank you”

for the next few hours you’d spent time drinking together, you both talked about his band, your ambitions, your identity since he was very curious. he asked a lot of questions, respectfully of course and you answered them with grace. his willingness to learn made you feel a bit fuzzy inside as no one had ever treated you that way.

you find yourself getting over your aversion to eye contact, willingly staring into his eyes as he spoke about his hobbies and his musical influences. he notices your stare and grins to himself. taking a mental note, he changes the subject to loved ones and is surprised to hear you’ve never dated anyone. you were young sure, but he didn’t expect you to have no experience atall.

“really? thats…interesting.”

“are you making fun of me?” you say raising your eyebrow and glaring playfully. feeling the buzz from the last few drinks.

“no…no. just something crossed my mind is all. shouldn’t’ve but it did” he says softly, his body language a bit more serious and he looked slightly embarrassed.

you look at the time on your phone, 1 am. you’re feeling buzzed and james is looking very fine, screw it. you move closer and sit next to him, thighs pressed to one another and your face flushed. so what if it was your first time? this man was too beautiful to pass on.

“jealous are we james?”

your sudden confidence and proximity threw him for a loop, his eyes flitting between yours and your lips. “pardon?”

“you heard me. jealous? wishing it was your cock buried deep inside me? giving me that wonderful feeling for the first time?”

“fuuck…you don’t waste any time do you?”

“guess i’m just feeling a bit out there and lucky tonight, james.”

the way you kept saying his name made him squirm in his seat, the thought of you sat on his lap, fucking like rabbits and him giving you your first time was overwhelming. when suddenly he stood, held out his hand and not saying anything.

you take it gracefully, grinning to yourself. the reality of the situation not quite kicking in yet as the alcohol made you feel fuzzy. he pulls you to his side, snaking an arm around your waist, chucking some money on the table and walking like a man on a mission.

15 minutes later and a tense taxi drive, where he’d been struggling not to take you right there or even just touch you a little bit, you arrive at a hotel. he rushes you in, holding onto you as if you’d run off if he let go. the silence was deafening.

in the elevator, he just looked down at you with a grin, a gentle hand coming up to lift your chin, his eyes piercing into you once again as he finally spoke.

“you really wanna go through with this?”

“more than anything.”

a moment later his lips were pressed against yours, kissing you deeply, hands nestled at the small of your back. you kiss him back with a little more force, the heat in the room rising. he begins to trail soft kisses down your neck before biting ever so slightly at the crook.

“oh fuck..”

he laughs heartily hearing you curse under your breath and brings a hand to your chin again, rubbing his thumb along your bottom lip and tapping at as if he was mimicking something in his own mind.

“you’ve got such pretty lips, know that?”

too distracted by his gaze at your lips, you fail to answer as you bring tour own hands up his sides slipping under his shirt and scratching at his back in need, producing a breathy groan from his own lips. his head tilting back slightly as he felt your nails dig into his flesh.

you take this moment to start kissing his neck, your own body trembling at this point as you’d never really gotten past a small kiss with anyone before. he could definitely tell, by the way your lips moved hesitantly along his neck, awkwardly sucking and biting at random areas. a furious red blush on your face and your brows knotted together in concentration.

he shook his head and laughed, lifting your face away with his hand.

“let me show you sweetheart.”

his lips trailed your neck, finding that sweet spot and at first he just places sweet kisses there, slowly but surely he takes a little bit of skin in between his lips and nibbles, letting you feel each sensation. soft whimpers escaped your lips as he moved, taking this as a sign he bit harder. you let out a moan and grip his shoulders lightly.

“you like that hun? so cute” he purred in your ear. the ding of the elevator pulling you both out of this heated moment. you break apart and stare up at him, the swift transition of him grabbing you and ending up in the hotel room, clothes being tugged at during another heated makeout session makes your head spin

heart racing you look at him with doe eyes. which makes him curse under his breath and compose himself. sitting back on his knees.

“cmere pretty boy, lets take this your pace huh darl?”

you nod, that nervous feeling welling up inside, sitting up you start to unbutton his shirt, trailing your fingers down his exposed chest and placing kisses there. appreciative groans leaving his lips as he caresses your neck with his thumb. need building up inside himself now, he was struggling at how teasingly slow this was moving. if it was any other person, he would’ve just pinned them to the wall and fucked them violently chasing his own high. but even though you were pretty much a stranger to him, he didn’t want you to regret this. you were so sweet looking and nervous.

eventually after extended amounts of strained eye contact and lustful gazes you make your way to his jeans, unbuckling his belt as he stroked through your hair with his big hand. you pull the fabric down and gasp at the way his cock bounces back, hitting his stomach and throbbing, dripping with precum. he takes it his hands and strokes it a few times, thumbing over the tip, collecting the liquid.

he grins and offered his thumb to you.

“wanna taste it darl?”

“yes” you say tentatively taking it and sucking the tip. with a groan he watches you swirl your tongue around it, cursing under his breath.

“fuck can’t take it any longer, i need you baby, that okay?”

you don’t say anything, just start tugging his jeans down completely, you focus on your own and then pull him on top of you, fiercely making out with him, whimpers escaping your lips.

he sits back up and pulls your thighs apart, gently stroking through your folds, his hands glistening with your wetness.

“need it james…please”

he groans at the sounds you make and your desperate words. he doesn’t take a breath before lining up with your entrance, looking at you for approval. you nod and he leans over stroking your cheek sweetly.

“this gonna hurt a little bit okay? just relax for me, you’re doing so good already ,pretty boy.”

before you can react, he pushes just the tip in, letting you adjust as he stares down at you. you hiss in pain and grip his shoulder tightly, a yelp escaping your lips. he peppers kisses along your jaw and neck, speaking softly

“it’s okay, i know i know. breathe sweet boy, we can just stay like this a moment, yeah?”

one big hand drifts down to your clit, circling slowly and applying some pressure. your head tips back slightly letting out a strained moan.

“ready, james. just do it…please?”

barely able to control himself, he continues working with one hand, the other gripping your hip as he pushes himself to the hilt.

“fuck!” you moan loudly, with his accompanying groan, he starts to move, slowly and gently holding you. it takes you a minute to get used to the feeling but when you do, your body trembles all over, frantic moans escaping your lips. he strokes your hair and keeps kissing your neck tenderly.

“god you feel so fucking good darl, so good…”

his words send you into overdrive, feeling the need for more, you buck against him. your teeth find its way to his shoulder and you bite down, whispering pleas. his demeanour switches, seemingly not being able to control himself at feeling you clench down on him. so soft and warm, he just starts moving faster, his hips stuttering, watching your face to make sure it’s okay.

“fuck…yes…shit…james…feels so good” your words escaping as whines as you stare up at him. you could see his expression become more desperate as soft moans tumble from him. his grasp getting tighter and he grits his teeth.

“so good for me, god..shit i don’t know if i can hold back anymore. so fucking tight and wet for me, baby. drivin me insane”

you lean up and bite his earlobe before whispering “so don’t. i can handle it.”

it was like something had snapped in him, he heaves your thighs up over his waist and hastily shoving a pillow underneath you. slamming his hips into yours and grabbing your thighs tightly, hard enough to leave bruises for sure. your hands reach up and tug at his white hair, your sounds only growing louder which was like music to his ears. he was out of control, slamming back down on you and pulling out before repeating the process, like it was his own first time too.

“fuck look so good taking me , honey. you like that? getting fucked so hard by this fat old cock? hm? gushing round me baby.”

“yes yes fuck fuck…i can’t” you whine, in a stroke of adrenaline you guide his hand back to your clit, pushing yourself further on him. he gladly continues swirling, his fingers moving at the same pace as his hips. hitting you so deep you could feel it in your stomach.

“gonna cum in you, pretty boy. wanna make you remember this forever, gonna ruin you for anybody else.”

this sends you into primal need, borderline fucking yourself on him as you whimper in his ear.

“fuck yeah, fucking ruin me. fill me. need it so bad james…so fucking close.”

“god you are fucking filthy i love it” he growls, slamming harder into you, his body not being able to hold back. his thrusts become messy as you chase that high together. whispering obscenities to each other and grabbing at wherever you can reach.

the sensation comes faster than you’d ever felt before, like a rollercoaster dropping down a peak, your legs begin to shake and you scream out his name. he takes this as a challenge and moves at an impossible pace, cumming hard inside. growling in your ear and pulling at your hair lightly.

“so fucking good, darl. oh fuck I can’t get enough. no, i think i’ll be seeing more of you. mm ill teach you everything.”

#this was a long one!#i hope its good #i had to take so maby breaks aaaaa #him being so sweet and attentive #interested in your hobbies #god im gay please help me #yes mr hetfield #teaching you everything 🤭#tried my best to give detail!!#age gap is so hot idk #james hetfield #james hetfield x reader #james hetfield x masc reader #james hetfield smut #james hetfield x genderfluid reader #axl’s thoughts #jaymz #need him so bad #metallica

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