#fucking played myself with that didn't i???

[psyduc]

pasta a la erik karlsson

THE INGREDIENTS: pasta. alfredo. meat sauce. raw (red) onion. hot sauce (cholula, judging by the video). ketchup (heinz, i think?). a little salt and pepper.

THE RECIPE: boil pasta, chop the onion, serve with all sauces. eat and not die.

hi my name is emily and welcome to jackass

instead of liveblogging this process, i'm just going to add my thoughts to one big post to make it cleaner <3

6:48 pm: the pasta is boiling. i keep looking over at the Pile of Sauces and giggling. i have whispered "what the fuck" to myself a few times now. i'm cooking the whole box, because we're all having spaghetti tonight, but i'm the only one brave enough to try... This

6:54 pm: erik did not mention this as part of the meal but i poured myself a glass of rose. the onion has been chopped. i tried to get them chunky to match the video but that's like too much man, at least have your onions DICED why are they in CHUNKS ERIK

7:05 pm: writing these time stamps i'm realizing i'm a slow cooker because i keep getting distracted by my playlist (rn it's rebel rebel by david bowie). i am starting the alfredo sauce and it's sinking in that i'm about to actually. eat this. like a few bites, there's no way i'm eating this whole plate (this is NOT foreshadowing)

7:07 pm: i almost panicked because i didn't think i had enough milk for the alfredo but surprise, i had EXACTLY enough. this is a good omen.

7:15 pm: everything is done, i am just waiting for the meat sauce to warm up. i'm still whispering "what the fuck to myself".

7:21 pm: it's time. to assemble.

i grabbed a small plate, but i'm realizing. maybe i should have grabbed less. this is revolting. and i'm not even done adding things

added and mixed. i'm laughing. erik eats this. before every game? it overwhelmingly smells like cholula which is fine but oh my god. oh my god? no. no. this poor man's stomach. oh my god

7:30 pm: i've put it off. it's time to take a bite

IT'S JUST. IT'S JUST A LOT OKAY. THIS IS A LOT OF FLAVOR AND NONE OF IT REALLY GOES TOGETHER? it's like way too acidic. biting into a red onion is a terrible surprise. it's too saucy and it doesn't feel Good in my stomach, like i have taken two bites and it's settled so heavily already. okay no three bites. it's... it's just upsetting. this is an upsetting experience. what the fuck is wrong with you erik karlsson. you eat this and then you go and play professional hockey?

FOUR BITES IN AND IT DOES NOT GET BETTER. why does he do this to himself like can we send someone to check on him fr i am genuinely concerned about this man like i made this meal for the bit but he willingly does this to himself?????? 82 games a season???????

IN CONCLUSION: i managed five (5) bites. they were all bad. don't make this. someone arrest erik karlsson immediately i am so serious.

#pens lb #emily.txt #food

[satorusugurugurl]

Never got a request for them you say…

I know i request way to fucking much but I can’t help myself I love ur writing🫶

Butttt hear me out adult trio gojo geto shoko with fem reader. I’m thinking professional reader, who has an exhausting but rewarding job comes home exhausted, but her 3 lovers cheer her right up <333

Could be fluff or smut, I just need them in my life Fr

-🍭

Welcome Home!

Character: Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, Shoko Ieiri, FAB!Reader

Word Count; 2,853

Warning: overworked reader, nipple play, oral sex, praising, making out, achohol consumption, Geto in a fucking apron has me FERAL

A/N: Thank you so much for the request! I had lots of fun with this one 🥵🌶 Spicy loved it 1000000/10 would recommend.

Everything hurt, from your feet to your back, as you exited your car, the garage shutting behind you. You had been gone for twelve hours, leaving at six and getting home when you'd left this morning. But you couldn't complain. Your business had taken off, and as CEO, you had responsibilities to take care of, which tended to keep you away from home longer than you'd like, but the paycheck was worth it.

You had started your own candle company in college. Book tropes, characters, and television series inspired the candles you made. Your shop had been small, and you were content with that. Until your partners suggested advertising on social media, reaching out to authors, broadening your horizons. You hadn't expected much, maybe a couple of dozen more orders, a few rejection letters from said authors. What you hadn't been expecting was for your products to go viral, and several authors jumped at the opportunity to commission you for custom character candles.

Your tiny little shop became a big-time shop so fast it had your head spinning. You shipped orders worldwide, made custom customer orders, and were featured on several podcasts. Your company was close to being a multimillion-dollar company with several locations. While exciting, and you didn't need to worry about money, it was exhausting. Long hours, dozens of meetings, and business trips were your new norm; it came with the title CEO. You loved your job! There was, however, one downside.

You missed the fuck out of your partners.

With your position, you could take care of the house payment and utilities. Allowing your partners to do whatever they want without worry. Shoko was studying to become a surgeon, Geto was working on a novel, and Satoru was your biggest investor; seeing as he was from a wealthy family, he could do what he wanted. And what he wanted was to help your company grow. Things were perfect; it justified you working so hard all the time. Some days were more exhausting than others, but it was also gratifying. Your partners could pursue their dreams, and as long as they were happy, so were you.

”I’m home.” You announced mid-yawn, removing your heels and setting them to the side. You ventured into the living room. The condo was clean and tidy, as per usual, thanks to your amazing partners. They took such good care of the house when you were gone.

“Welcome home.” Suguru greeted you from the kitchen. Both the mouth-watering aroma of prepared food and the sexy man stopped you in your tracks. “Thank you for all of your hard work today, Princess.” He wore gray sweatpants, his hair pulled into his signature half up half down style.

The best part of his whole outfit was the apron. Good god, it was illegal! The black apron went around his neck and tied firmly around his waist. It read, ‘My meat is 100% Going In Your Mouth’. It was a gag gift, one you’d need to thank Satoru for purchasing. Suguru was wiping his damp hands on it as he made his way around the island, wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug.

You melted in his embrace, your arms snaking around him as he kissed the top of your head. “Thank you. It’s good to be back.” You sniffed at the air, happily groaning at the scent of food. “That smells absolutely amazing, Sugu!”

“You had a long day, so I made one of your favorites.” You followed him into the kitchen, staring at the four neatly prepared plates of perfectly prepared katsudon and fluffy white rice. ”I was finishing up the salad. It should be done in a few minutes.”

A warm body pressed against your back; the smell of clean linen and musk followed the body's movements behind you as Satoru rested his chin on your shoulder. “I hope so, I’m starving.” The whiny tone that resonated from Satoru had Suguru rolling his eyes at his antics as he chopped up lettuce. “But not as hungry as you probably are. You busted your ass today, as usual.” Soft lips peppered your cheek with kisses.

“It was a very long day.” You reached forward, grabbing a slice of cucumber off the cutting board and popping it in your mouth. “But it’s well worth it.”

“Long day; I guess this calls for some sake,” Shoko added, handing you a glass of chilled peach sake.

You took a long sip, humming at the sweet taste that danced over your tastebuds. “Shoko, what would I do without you?” Your exhausted-looking girlfriend took a long sip of her drink before pressing a kiss against your lips.

”You would be stuck with these two idiots.”

“Hey!”

Satoru pouted, while Suguru just shook his head with an unbothered chuckle. The carefree atmosphere and warm aura had you relaxing, the tension leaving your shoulders as the four of you sat down for dinner. While you ate and conversed with them, your partners looked you over while you weren’t paying them attention. Suguru took note of the dark circles under your eyes before looking at Satoru from his peripheral vision. He had noticed the circles along with how your skin appeared paler tonight. Dark and blue-hued eyes focused on Shoko. Her dark brown eyes examined you as she would a patient.

The three of them reached the same conclusion: you were exhausted, burning the candle at both ends. They knew very well how seriously you took your job; your work ethic was nothing to be sneezed at. No matter how sick or tired you were, you constantly pushed yourself to do more, to provide for them. Your motivation was fueled by positive forces, and there was nothing wrong with being driven by a goal.

However, the moment your goal began to run you down, that’s when you had a problem. You needed a break—some time to rest properly and recuperate. The three of them set their plan into action just with mirror eye contact.

“All right,” Suguru stood, collecting the dishes off the table, “Satoru and I will clean the kitchen. Shoko, why don't you take our sweet girl and get her relaxed?”

“Oh, don't be silly, I can help.” You followed them, collecting dishes that were snatched away from you by Satoru. “Hey, I can help!”

Shoko gently grabbed your hand, her slender, delicate fingers interlacing with yours, pulling you towards the bedroom. “It’s not a matter of you being able to help or not; we all know you’re perfectly capable of that.” Shoko gently squeezed your hand before pushing you back against the bed. “It’s more of a matter that we want to take care of you.” Those same soft fingers that had gently held your hand began working at the buttons of your blouse. “So please don’t fight us on this. You’re exhausted.” Your chest moved up and down, your steady breathing quickening as she exposed your torso. “Just lay back and relax.”

A breathless sigh escaped you as her soft hands groped your breasts in both hands, squeezing the soft mounds. “A-alright, then, let me touch you too.” You reached for her breasts, her nipples erect, peeking through the thin fabric of her white t-shirt. Your fingers just grazed over the fabric, straining against her hardening buds, when she pulled back, out of your reach. “Shoko, why are—” Her lips met yours in a soft, delicate kiss, one that emanated her true intent and desires.

”Have you been hanging out with those two morons too much?” Soft fingers, unclasp the hook in the front of your bra. “What part of ‘lay back and relax’ did you not understand?” Warm caresses of your girlfriend's skin felt like a burning fire over your tingling nipples.

“But I hate not making you feel good.”

“Baby,” Shoko chastised, leaning down, gently flicking her tongue over one of your nipples. “You make our lives comfortable; you do so much for us.” She kitten-licked one of the buds, nearly sending you off the bed. “There will be plenty of other times for you to join in. For tonight, relax and enjoy being a pillow princess.”

You were hesitant to listen to her, but as you relaxed against the bed, you realized just how tired you were. Laying back, your head cradled by the pillow alleviated some of the throbbing pain in your upper back. Plus, you weren’t often told to be a pillow princess, to lose yourself in the pleasure. This might be precisely what you needed tonight.

Without any further protest, you melted against the bed, your hand gently running through Shoko’s long, silky hair as she suckled and nibbled at your nipples while her hands massaged your breasts. I felt so good to be touched so gently. It was a drastic contrast to the boys, who roughly groped and nipped at your sensitive breasts. No matter how many times they saw your breasts, they were still the teenage boys you met nearly a decade ago. Breasts were, and always would be, some of their favorite things. Shoko, on the other hand, knew what felt good, how to get those little moans and whimpers to escape your mouth. If the woman was given the chance, she very well could make you orgasm from your nipples alone one day.

”Oooh my god, S-Sho—” That day was today, “Shoko, f-feels so good, really good.” Your nails gently grazed her scalp before you tugged on the strands of her hair. “H-Holy shit.”

Your girlfriend giggled, sending vibrations to stimulate your already sensitive nipples. “Yeah? Feel good—“ her pink tongue swirling tantalizingly slow around them, “so good you’re going to cum like this?” A tiny whimper was the only response she received. “Such a good girl for me. Go ahead, baby.” She groped both your breasts, pushing them together, allowing her to suck and nibble at both your nipples at once. “Cum for me.”

Shoko pressed her knee against your clothed center, and that was all you needed to cum. “N-Nggh! C-cumming~ S-Sho! Fuck!” you withered and squirmed, your hips rocking g against her knee, extending the sweet pleasurable waves that rocked you to your core.

She was watching you get off from just the brush of her knee, and her mouth on your tits had Shoko giggling softly. Your face was twisted with pleasure, slowly shifting into a more lax face as you finished riding the waves. Once your heavy breathing turned into soft, content sighs, she pulled back with a grin. She’d like to see the boys try and get you off solely from your tits. Because she knew neither had the patience or skills for that.

“Good job, Shoko.” Your eyes fluttered open as the bed shifted. “Got her nice and relaxed for us.” Shoko sat back, watching as Suguru and Satoru crawled up the bed. “How are you feeling, sweetheart, better?” Satoru hummed as he unzipped your skirt, tugging it down.

“Mhmm, a lot better.” You lifted your ass off the bed. Allowing Suguru to tug your thigh-high stockings down. “Sho always takes good care of us.”

“Mmm,” larger hands forced your legs apart, “I can see that.” Suguru hummed, trailing a finger up and down over the wet spot on your panties. “She made you cum, and you did such a good job.” His fingers hooked under the lace hem and tugged them down, throwing them somewhere across the room.

Suguru’s fingers pulled your wet folds apart, admiring the slick coating of your lips and how your arousal seeped out of your tight entrance. His thumb pulled the hood over your clit back just enough, allowing him to rub sweet, gentle circles around the bundle of nerves. While he teased your clit Satoru nestled himself between your legs, kissing and nipping at your inner thighs up to your dripping sex.

“Mmm, I was wanting dessert.” His hot breath teased your twitching cunt. “Thanks for the meal, sweetheart.” His tongue dipped out, tracing teasing circles of your entrance. His wet tongue and Suguru’s thumb had you gasping, arching off the sheets. Your hips jolted forward, silently begging for more. “So fuckin’ needy~” Satoru growled into your pussy. “Normally, I’d make you beg, but you’ve been working so hard you deserve a reward.” His tongue dipped past your tight entrance, gently swirling it as he licked at your inner walls.

With Satoru’s tongue spearing you, working the muscle inside your pussy, Suguru takes the chance to lean down, kissing and sucking at your swollen nipples. “Fuck, you sound so pretty; make more sounds.” His teeth gently graze over the bud. The sudden sensation made your body jerk forward, here widening as his skilled mouth wrapped around your nipple, sucking on it hard.

“Suguru,” Shoko sits on your other side, “try swirling it gently~ like this.” A raspy sigh shakes through your entire body as Shoko demonstrates her technique on your other nipple. “This gets her going.”

“Oooh~ I see now.” The dark-haired man watched Shoko closely, nodding as he observed her momentum. “So I need to do—“ his eyes meet yours as he flattens his tongue, “—this?” His tongue matches Shoko’s face as pressure, sending tingles coursing straight to your pussy, where you clench around Satoru’s skillful tongue.

Blue eyes widen as feeling the gentle spasms of your cunt on his tongue. Your wetness seeped out, coating his tongue, mouth, and chin. “Mmmphmm~ yeah.” His voice is hoarse with unfiltered, pure need. “She fucking likes it~ her cunts hugging my tongue, keep it going.”

Hearing the filthy words, Satoru spoke motivated his best friend. Suguru kept his ministrations up, his eyes darting between Shoko and back to you, doing his best to keep up with her pace, mirroring her movements to the exact inch. In turn, Shoko’s hand dipped down, pressing gently on your lower abdomen.

“S-Shiiit!” You hissed, lifting your head an inch, watching as your three beautiful partners worshiped you. “Ooooh haaah!” You arched, squirmed, and twitched on Satoru’s tongue. Your partner's fingers, tongues, and lips moved faster as you screamed, one hand gripping the sheet as your other hand thrust into Satoru’s hair, tugging and pulling at the strands as you rocked against his face.

“Good girl~” Suguru growled against your nipple. “Goood fuckin’ girl~ cum all over Satoru’s face.”

Shoko nodded her head in agreement, her hand pressing harder against you. In doing so, she put pressure on the coil that was twisting and twisting inside you. Satoru groaned loudly inside of your pussy, feeling your walls twitch slightly around him; the tiny movements had his tongue lapping faster and harder, rubbing against your g-spot with every flick.

The combination of all three of their efforts made you scream and squirt. Coating Satoru’s tongue and face. Watching the stream of clear liquid coat, Satoru’s face had Suguru rubbing your clit faster. Extending your orgasm, making you squirt again again.

“Oooh, that’s it! Good fucking girl!” Suguru praised while Satoru glowered at you. Not in anger or disgust, but in feral fucking need. His mouth and tongue didn’t stop moving as he drank all of you in, working you over the dips and rises of the orgasm that nearly took your life. He only pulled away when you grimaced, shaking at the overstimulation of his mouth, and that only happened because you yanked him out of your pussy.

“Mmm~ such a good girl~” your slack mouth was suddenly being kissed by Shoko before Satoru crawled up, slotting his mouth against yours, allowing you to taste the sticky, tangy essence of your cum. “She was the best, wasn’t she, Satoru.”

The white-haired man pulled back, collecting the remaining traces of your cum with his pointer finger. “She’s the fucking best. No questions asked.” You lazily watched as he offered his finger to Suguru.

“Oooh, thank you.” Dark eyes trailed over you before he smirked, gently wrapping his hand around Satoru’s wrist and leading his finger into his open mouth. You choked on a breath as you watched Suguru bob his head up and down Satoru’s finger, ensuring all of your juices were clean. “Mhmm, so sweet. Shoko, have a taste.” Your girlfriend grinned slowly, leaning over your spent body, kissing Suguru with full tongue to get a taste of you. Their tongues swirled and massaged the other for what seemed like an eternity before they broke the kiss with a string of saliva and your cum connecting their tongues. “Isn’t she delicious?”

“She’s sweeter than the peach sake from dinner.”

With a gargled moan, your head fell back against the pillows as your lovers all leaned over to examine your face. Your pale skin from earlier was flushed a darker shade, your eyes were hazy and distant, and if this were an anime, they were sure you’d be spurting a nosebleed right about now. The trio exchanged knowing glances and gentle smiles. You did so much for them. The least they could do was give you a proper welcome home.

#jjk smut #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk reader smut #jjk #jjk y/n #jjk gojo smut #jjk reader insert #jjk men #jjk gojo #jjk geto #jjk shoko #jujitsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen suguru #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jujutsu kaisen shoko #gojo imagine #geto imagines #shoko ieiri #gojo satoru smut #geto x reader smut #gojo x Geto x Shoko x reader #jjk gojo x reader #gojo smut #gojo x reader x geto #gojo x reader smut #shoko x reader #shoko x reader jjk smit

[shinskichan]

synopsis: reader is playing the “what if” challenge with them, in which one person suggests a hypothetical scenario and the other responds with another what if.

characters: Mikey, Sanzu, Kakucho, Koko, Ran, and Rindou

notes: fluff, crack, mention of death, profanities, mention of exes, mention of killing, suggestive what-ifs, petnames (babe, love, doll, baby)

It was finally Mikey's day off, and you had been convincing him to do this challenge since last week. He had been hesitant, saying it was nonsense, but you didn't give up until he finally agreed.

MIKEY

"I don't see the benefit of this," he said, leaning on the couch. You teased him, saying, "I just want to fight right after this," to which he side-eyed you, and you both laughed. "Try me," he said, looking you straight in the eye. "Your wish is my command," you said as you chuckled, but he rolled his eyes.

"You know this is so lame, how about we just… make love?" he whispered, and you playfully hit his arm as he chuckled. "Mikey!" you warned him, and he put his hands up, saying he was kidding. You held his hand, which interlocked with yours, as you cleared your throat.

He asked, "Who goes first?" looking at you. "I'll go first," you said, and he nodded as you chuckled.

"What if I am just pretending that I love you because I'm scared of you?" you said, looking at him. You saw how his jaw clenched as he tilted his head, but you just laughed. You could tell he was thinking hard about his response.

"What if every time I tell you I'm working, I'm really having fun with another girl?" he shot back, and your eyes widened in surprise. You admitted that it was a good one, and he just chuckled.

"What if all this time I'm just waiting for you to let go?" you said as you looked at him, and he nodded his head. "What if I just settled with you because I don't have a choice?" he said, and you laughed, saying, "What are you talking about? You've got a lot of choices!" You playfully hit him.

"What if I am secretly meeting with your executives right after visiting you?" you shot back, laughing when his face grew gloomy.

"What if I shot him so that you couldn't do that?" he said, seeming nonchalant about it, which made you laugh as you gently pushed his face. "What if every time I say 'I love you,' it's not you whom I am thinking of?" you teased, looking at him, and he nodded.

"What if I punish you after this? How do you like that?" he asked, grinning, and you said, "What if I don't want to?" You both laughed."Who thought about this stupid challenge? It was you," he said, pinching your nose.

"Be honest, was it half meant?" he asked you, which made you laugh. "What makes you say that?" you asked. "What if you're really pretending that you love me? What if you're just really waiting for me to let you go?" he asked as he threw himself at you, and you quickly hugged him.

"I'm going to kill myself, for real," he said, which made you hit him. "I love you for real, dumbass," you said, and he looked up to you, and you kissed him.

 

SANZU

"You don't have a choice," you said with a grin as you pulled him out of bed. He groaned about wanting to rest, but you persisted. "Come on, let's do this. I promise I'll treat you after," you added coaxingly, and he finally relented and sat down.

"Don't take this seriously! This is just a what-if," you warned him, but you couldn't stop laughing. "Then let's just not do this," he said, but you glared at him, so he just sighed.

"You go first," you said, pointing at him. "This is really stupid," he said as he sighed, but you just laughed. "Go ahead," you said, and it took a while before he thought of something.

"What if whenever I tell you I can't come home, I'm really at another girl's house?" he said, which caught you off guard, and you reluctantly hit his arms, but he just laughed. "What the fuck, Sanzu?" you said as you chuckled.

"Come on, this is what you want, right? It's your turn," he said as he chuckled."What if I am just really forced to love you?" you asked while laughing. "Really? With this face and good body, you'll be forced?" he asked, leaning close to you. You gently pushed his face away while laughing and said, "Stop saying anything, babe. Go on," still laughing.

"What if I am actually making out with your friend?" he said as he laughed out loud. You glared at him, but he just laughed like he had won the challenge.

"What if I still love my ex?" you said with confidence, which made his smile fade away, and you laughed.

"What if I shot his skull right here right now?" he said seriously, and you broke out laughing as you hit him with a pillow.

"Calm down, this is just a 'what if'," you said, still laughing, but he wrapped his arms around your waist and carried you on top of him. "Stop with this bullshit already. It's not funny," he said, and you laughed as you kissed his neck.

 

KAKUCHO

As you both sat at the restaurant, enjoying your meal, you suddenly came up with an idea. "Baby, let's play the 'what if' challenge. Do you know that?" you asked him. He looked surprised, but he nodded. "As in right now?" he asked, still unsure. "Yes, right now," you confirmed with a smile.

"I don't want to," he said as he wiped the edge of your lips with his thumb. You pouted, but he continued, "Come on, you're just looking for a fight." You chuckled. "You think I'm making this an excuse for an argument later on?" you asked, and he nodded.

“You shouldn't get annoyed," you added. "No, you should tell that to yourself," he retorted, making you hit his arm playfully.

But you weren't going to give up that easily. "Come on, I'll go first," you said, and he had no choice but to agree.

"What if I went to the bar last night and hooked up with someone?" you asked, trying not to laugh as you watched his serious expression. "I know you wouldn't do that," he replied, making you elbow his arm.

"Your turn," you prompted. "I can't think of anything," he said with a shrug, and he continued to eat. "Don't be so corny," you teased, glaring at him. "What if I'm getting tired of you?" he said out of nowhere, and you nodded. "Then get some rest," you replied, and you both laughed.

"What if before we even dated, I just planned on making you fall for me and my true purpose was to cause you pain?" you said, trying to stir things up. He just nodded, unfazed. "It's fine then," he said, making you laugh and hit his arm. "What do you mean?" you asked, still laughing. "You're always fighting with me, even when I didn't do anything," he explained. "And I chose to love you, even with the risk of getting hurt," he added seriously. Why are you so serious, bro?" you said, and he glared at you, which made you chuckle.

"What if every time you're not coming home, I'm bringing someone into our house?" he said, trying to make you jealous. You gave him a death glare, and he quickly laughed. "What if I just agreed to date you out of fun? I don't really love you," you said, trying to see his reaction. He just smiled and sipped his drink. "That's good, we have fun together," he said, making you both laugh.

"What if I actually hooked up with the girl you're jealous of?" he said, trying to push your buttons further. You slowly looked at him with piercing eyes, and he quickly said, "Look at your face; I told you I don't want to do this," while laughing. "Fuck you!" you said, playfully pinching his arm.

"What if we just break up?" you said suddenly, trying to end the game. He quickly gave you a hug while still laughing hard. "No way, I can't live without you," he said, making you smile and hug him back.

 

KOKONOI

"Are you down?" you asked him as you gently took out all the food from the paper bag after your drive-thru. He nodded quickly. "I am down. Do you want me to go first?" he said confidently, and you both laughed. "Go ahead, I'm giving you the right," you said, and he started to think.

He began, "What if I regret that I met you?" and smiled as he looked at you. You hit him with the paper bag and jokingly said, "I know that fucker."

"Look at you, it's just starting, and you're already annoyed. You're the one who suggested it," he said as he took a sip of his soda.

"What if I'm secretly dating one of your friends?" you said, and he chuckled. "Who?" he asked, which made you both laugh. "Stop asking. It's just a what-if," you said as you smiled, enjoying his reaction.

He cleared his throat and thought for a moment. "What if I just loved you out of pity?" he said teasingly as he looked at you, and you smiled downward. "What's with that look?" he asked, putting his hand on your thigh as he laughed. "Really?" you sadly asked, which made you both laugh.

"What if my ex is asking me for a comeback, and I'm really having thoughts about it?" you said, which made him stunned and unable to even take a bite of his burger, which made you chuckle. "I knew it," he said, and you broke out laughing. "What do you mean you knew it?" you asked as you hit his arm, unable to prevent yourself from laughing.

"What if I just decided to court you because of a bet with my friends?" he said, and you glared at him. "I don't want this anymore," you said, which made him laugh as he scooped his ice cream. "What if I'm just staying with you because of your money?" you said, to which he replied with a shrug. You pinched his arm, making him groan.

"What if I got another girl pregnant?" he said, and your eyes widened in shock at what he just said, and he silently enjoyed your reaction. "Try me, Hajime," you said, and he laughed, but later on, he pulled your wrist and gave you a kiss. "Not gonna happen," he said, and you rolled your eyes.

"What if I wanted to marry you right now?" he said, and you looked at him, trying to prevent yourself from blushing. "What if I don't want you to be my husband?!" you shouted, which made him laugh even more. "I love you, dumbass," he said, kissing your hand.

 

RAN

You and Ran were both sitting on the couch, scrolling through your phones in silence, when he suddenly spoke up. "Let's play the 'what if' challenge," he suggested. You pretended not to hear him, so he playfully slapped your legs. "Come on, it'll be fun," he urged. However, you were still upset with him from a previous argument and didn't feel like playing. "I don't want to," you replied, giving him a stern look. "You still have some issues to work out with me!" you added, feeling frustrated that he hadn't made up with you after the argument. He laughed and teased you, saying, "You're still mad at me, huh?” 

"Come on, you go first," but you shook your head and insisted, "No, you thought of it, so you go first," rolling your eyes. He smirked and commented, "You look so hot when you do that." You glared at him, but he just chuckled.

He started the game by asking, "What if... what if I'm in this position because I'm flirting with someone?" he asked, his eyes still on his phone. You looked at him seriously and gently kicked his abdomen, which made him laugh. "Really, Ran? Flirting with someone right in front of my face?" you asked, trying to reach for his phone, but he hid it. You were still annoyed with him for not making up after the argument, and here he is still annoying you further. "I'm just kidding, doll," he said, stealing a kiss from your lips. You wiped it off quickly, feeling irritated, and he giggled.

"What if I'm just toying with you? What if you're just a past time?" he continued. You smiled, annoyed all over your face, which made him laugh even more. "What if the reason I went out last night was because I'm meeting someone and it's more than just a meeting?" you shot back. He nodded his head, amused by what you said, and you both laughed. "What now, huh?" you teased him, and he chuckled.

"What if I'm just using you to get over my ex?" he said, teasingly looking at you. You were clearly angry and threw every pillow within reach at him, but he just laughed, enjoying your reaction. "You fucker!" you exclaimed, clearly annoyed. "My blood is really boiling for you. What if I choke you to death?" you threatened, jumping on him. He was out of breath from laughing too hard. "Stop it, doll," he said, stopping your hands from gently choking him as he caught his breath.

"What if all this time you're just a third party, and my ex is the one I am with?" he asked. You pulled his hair out of anger, but he just laughed as if it was nothing. "What if I bury you alive?"

"What if you woke up tomorrow and you were already inside a coffin?" you shouted, and he burst out laughing on the floor, clearly happy with your reactions.

 

RINDOU

"Babe, let's do the 'what if' challenge," you said to Rindou, who was almost finished washing the dishes. He quickly shook his head. "Come onnnn, it looks fun," you said as you giggled. "I don't want to," he said as he dried his hands.

"Why not? Come on," you said, trying to convince him. "I don't want to fight after, love. I know you," he said, looking at you seriously, and you laughed. "Promise, I won't," you said as you raised your right hand open, making a promise, but he walked out.

"Come on, Rindou! Or else!" you threatened, which made him turn to look at you. "See?" he sarcastically said, which made you laugh. "Come on, let's do it," you said as you dragged him into the room. "We are not allowed to get hurt," you said, and he ran his palm across his face. "Let's just not do it, it's not a good idea," he said, but in the end, you still won.

"Game," you said, and he sighed. "Ladies first," he said as he held your hand and started playing with it. "What if I don't really love you and I just see you as my best friend?" you said while smiling, and he slowly nodded, pretending it didn't hurt him.

"What if I'm actually in a relationship with your best friend?" you gasped, and he laughed as he held your hands tightly. "You're not allowed to get hurt," he reminded you, and you rolled your eyes. "I am not," you defended as you thought of another one.

"What if I still haven't moved on from my ex and you are just a rebound?" you rebutted with confidence, which made him put his fist on his mouth while smiling, clearly annoyed.

"What if every time I asked for permission to go DJing, that's not really what I am doing, and I'm just flirting with other girls?" he said, and you tilted your head as you hit his arms, and he laughed.

"See, I'm sure you're going to get mad at me after this," he said as he ran his hand through your thigh. "What if I actually cheated, but I'm scared to tell you the truth?" you asked, and with that, he hit you with a pillow, which made you break out in laughter.

"What? Does it hurt?" you teased, but he just looked at you while chuckling, still unable to believe what you just said. "It hurts," he confessed, which made you laugh.

"What if this is the last time you'll laugh like that?" he said, which made you laugh harder. "What if I don't really love you and the one that I love is your brother?" you said as you laughed silently, and his face became gloomy.

"That's it, I'm done," he said as he stood up. You followed him while dying of laughter. "Babe, I'm sorry," you said as you chuckled. "Talk to yourself, I don't want to talk to you," he said, sulking, which made you laugh.

© shinskichan

#tokyo revengers #bonten #manjiro sano #sanzu haruchiyo #kakucho #kokonoi hajime #mikey x reader #mikey x you #mikey x y/n #sanzu x reader #sanzu x you #sanzu x y/n #kakucho x reader #kakucho x y/n #kakucho x you #kokonoi x reader #kokonoi x you #kokonoi x y/n

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling my friend that his joke came across as homophobic?

This is probably going to be very teenage drama but I wanted to see what other people thought.

I (15, nonbinary) was hanging out with my best friend J (15, genderfluid) at break during school. Our other friend S (14, in the year below us, genderfluid) was also there but they were talking to some other friends.

(Background: S became friends with J and myself about two years before this, when we were all in the school play together and also all in our school's pride club. We were very close for about a year then started drifting apart since we didn't have much in common other than being gay. We still all hung out in the same place at breaks and lunch, but S had their own friend group who they were closer to.)

Among the friends S was talking to was R, a new student (14, a trans boy) who had joined our school about a week before this happened. Me and J had been introduced to R but hadn't had many conversations with him - he was closer to S than to either of us since they were in the same school year.

Me and J were talking about a book that I had recommended to them, and J said about one of the main characters "he's definitely gay". I agreed, and then S broke off their conversation to ask "ooh, who's gay?"

Before me or J could respond to answer the question, R interrupted and said loudly "EW, GAY PEOPLE", then he and S started laughing.

I was really taken aback by this and basically said "hey, what the fuck?"

R said that it was a joke, and I said that it hadn't come across that way and it had felt like a homophobic comment. I think R probably got quite defensive because he said that it couldn't be homophobic since he was "literally MLM"

I don't care whether R is gay or not, the joke felt really out of place. He explained that it was supposed to be making fun of homophobes, but to me it still felt inappropriate within the context. If we'd been talking about or joking about homophobia then it might have been less shocking, I guess? But it felt like it really came out of nowhere.

I said that whether or not he was gay, it still came across as homophobic because of how unprompted it was. I also think it was a bit thoughtless to make that joke because he didn't know if me and J would be comfortable with it since we didn't know each other very well, and obviously homophobia can be a sensitive or triggering topic for a lot of queer people.

My friends (including J) seemed to think it wasn't that big of a deal and that I was too harsh on R since he said he was joking, but AITA for saying that "EW GAY PEOPLE" feels homophobic?

#aita #am i the asshole

[momojedi]

Could I have #88 and #97 with Captain Rex, pretty please...??

JUST MARRIED PAIRING: Captain Rex x GN! Reader

#88 | “Don’t panic but I think we might have accidentally gotten married…” #97 | “I want you and I know you want me too.”

GENRE: Fluff WARNING: none A/N: Since I got prompted #88 by an anon who asked for no one in particular, I mixed up your request with theirs. Thanks for requesting!

MASTERLIST | MOMOJEDI'S 300 FOLLOWER CELEBRATION

"Mhi solus tome,

Mhi solus dar’tome.

Mhi me’dinui an,

Mhi ba’juri verde."

Intense concentration furrows my brow as I massage my temples, striving to translate the unfamiliar words. "For fuck's sake," I mutter, frustration punctuating each syllable as I kick a nearby pebble with surprising strength, eliciting a muffled groan and the metallic clang of beskar as it ricochets off a distant helmet.

Two weeks may not seem long, especially when operating undercover among a terrorist faction whilst the galaxy is engulfed in war. It would probably be advisable to keep a cool head and avoid making a big deal out of insignificant subjects—such as unfamiliar phrases. However, when those words escape the lips of your longtime crush, delivered with an unexpected fervor while locking passionate eyes with you in a language foreign to your ears...

Well, needless to say, I've devoted more time to overthinking it than I care to admit.

When General Skywalker tasked us with shadowing Death Watch until the Jedi Council reached more intel, I hadn't given it much thought... admittedly, he hadn't specified that by "us" he didn't mean Ahsoka and me, as usual, but rather the captain of the 501st and myself—the very someone I've harboured feelings for since the day we met.

Nevertheless, I maintained my composure, played my part, and stayed under the radar, much like Rex, until Death Watch proposed an elaborate ceremony—a ceremony whose name I could barely pronounce, let alone understand its significance. Before any suspicion could arise, Rex quickly agreed in my place, and now here I am, entangled in some eerie ritual with a military captain whose gaze seemed entranced, so intense was his focus.

"If I had my datapad right now...," I hiss under my breath, casting blame on whoever decided I should leave my sole translation device behind. Likely Skywalker.

The crunch of gravel under heavy boots interrupts my daydreaming. I spin around sharply, only to find the very man haunting my mind approaching. "I figured I'd find you here," Rex hums as he settles beside me. "Yeah," I reply with a dry laugh, brushing the dust off my hands. "Sorry, I suppose I just needed... alone time. After everything yesterday, you know?" Rex's eyes widen almost comically, and he sheepishly scratches the back of his neck. "Oh... yeah."

The ensuing silence gnaws at my nerves, prompting me to pop the question after another agonising five minutes. "Hey, about that... what did those words mean, anyway?" "I'm not sure what you're referring to," Rex responds, avoiding my gaze. I gulp. He can't have forgotten, can he? "Come on, Rex... It seemed significant." After a moment's hesitation, Rex sighs, running a hand over his buzzcut before raising his head to face me, though still evading it. "I..." "Yes?" "Alright, fine. [Name], don't panic, but... we might have accidentally... gotten married."

...

"WHAT?"

"Shh!" Rex quiets me with a gentle hand over my mouth, his eyes darting cautiously around us before he releases me. I shake my head slowly, puzzled. "Sorry, but what?" "The, um, the words... they were Mandalorian wedding vows," he admits, his tone tinged with uncertainty. I can't help but laugh. Married? Us? "You're joking." "Unfortunately not," he replies, a slight smile tugging at his lips, before his expression shifts to sheepishness as he rubs the back of his neck. "Though I do believe you'd make an excellent partner." Suppressing a chuckle, I ignore the warmth creeping into my cheeks.

"Actually, I realized we needed a distraction when I overheard some members gossiping behind our backs. They were growing suspicious, so I thought perhaps they'd relax if we participated in some traditions." Rex sighs, examining a pebble he's picked up. I shoot him a hopeful sidelong glance before quickly looking away, feeling my heart quicken.

Force, this man is captivating.

Silence envelops us once more as we both drift deeper into our own thoughts. When I sense the gravel shifting under his weight, I raise an eyebrow. "It wouldn't bother me, you know?" A lump forms in my throat, causing a series of coughs to escape at his words. "Wh-what?" "Being with you." Suddenly, his warm yet weighty hand finds mine. Sweat prickles at my heated skin as I keep my gaze fixed ahead.

"R-rex, are you suggesting...?" "[Name]," he interrupts, turning to face me. Before I can evade his gaze, he gently lifts my chin, compelling me to meet his eyes. I run my tongue over my dry lips, which his gaze is now fixated on. "I want you. And I know you want me, too." His proximity sends shivers down my spine as goosebumps ripple over my arms and back. His newfound confidence is palpable. "I've noticed the way you look at me, how you stare. I know, [name]," he murmurs against my lips, "what do you think?"

I flush, gripping his wrist as I lock eyes with his warm gaze. "I think you're right." Rex chuckles deeply, resonating like a rumble in his chest. "Good." And before I realize it, his lips meet mine,

Time seems to slip away as I surrender completely to the kiss. Eventually, Rex pulls back, leaving me breathless, and flashes me a mischievous grin.

“So, about that wedding night…”

#star wars #the bad batch #clone wars #bad batch #star wars the clone wars #the clone wars #star wars clone wars #tbb #star wars the bad batch #momojedis 300 follower celebration #clone trooper rex #star wars captain rex #clone captain rex #captain rex #clone troopers #rex x reader #reader insert #captain rex x reader #x reader #gender neutral reader #clone wars x reader #tbb x reader #bad batch x reader #Star Wars x reader #my writing

[skaldish]

Oh my god I just had a horrible realization. It's a really personal one so please bear with me but I need to share it because…Idk, maybe it's not just me.

But I realized. I didn't actually grow up being a part of any culture. I grew up with seeing culture around me, and sometimes participating in culture temporarily, but I was not raised with a cultural identity of any sort whatsoever.

I identify as an American only because I live in the US, not because I'm acculturated American. I only have the cultural senses I have because it just so happened to be what I was surrounded by.

None of the stories told to me, none of the food I ate, and nothing I wore, were used to convey "This is who we are as people" by my family or community. Stories were just for entertainment, food was just for eating, and clothes were just whatever I liked wearing from the department store. These things weren't, in any way, identity, outside of things I could use to express my own personal identity if I wanted to.

Fuck, I wasn't even given the cultural knowledge associated with the class I was raised in. No leadership skills, no business sense, nothing.

"But what about religion?" No religion either. My family has culturally Catholic leanings, but it's residual and unrecognized.

"What about being white?" The fact that I can't describe what "being white" even means—beyond how I've heard it described—goes to show you my expertise in the matter.

"What about subcultures?" I only know how to participate in subcultures as either a spectator or as a guest. No culture has ever identified me as belonging to it, despite welcoming my participation, and I can't consider myself part of cultures if they don't claim me.

In terms of my cultural identity, I'm completely blank. It's like I have no name.

I write all this because I was thinking about why some Scandinavians would be upset at me using "Heathen" (as well as bigger questions of cultural appropriation in general) and came to this realization.

For the record…I don't consider myself Heathen because I identify as part of Scandinavian culture. That would be absurd. I use "Heathen" because I accidentally befriended a Heathen god. Loki hid his identity from me for years, and I was very upset when when he finally told me who he was—I felt like he betrayed me, and also like I was going insane, because my worldview prior to that did not support the existence of gods.

I dug deep into learning about Norse paganism because I knew understanding Loki within his cultural context was vital to understanding who he is. The reason I started digging around in Scandinavian culture directly, though, was because—surprise!—nothing we have published in the US actually has this context.

…I'm embarrassed to admit I wasn't aware "cultural appropriation" describes a situation where one person walks into another person's culture and says, "Yes, this is my home now," like a cuckoo taking over another bird's nest. I always thought it was a function of mishandling a culture—using it in ways that was careless and ill-informed—but no, it's taking away other peoples' identities in the name of playing dress-up for yourself.

"You're robbing me of myself for your own stupid aesthetic desires!" That's how I imagine it must feel.

It disgusts me to think that's how my actions may have looked.

#zan speaks #personal #I need to figure out how to resolve this but idk #no culture has gone 'ah yes that's clearly one of ours' before #not even the ones I'm demographically a part of #I'm upset yes but also extremely bewildered by how this happened

[happypotato48]

We Are EP 4 Unhinged Tangent Thoughts

Finally! some good shits. this week Vibes the show finally let go of some of its dumb BL tropes. and let the boys being their extreamly cute and chaotic selfs with each other.

Ok i'm still not 100% or even 60% vibing with Phum and Peem but this ep made them much more tolerable. i think my biggest gripe with Phum as a character is that in the show full of earnest loveable dorks his tsundereness and assholedary (is this a real word???) was sticking out liked a sore thumb. so i'm happy that we learnt this ep that he and Toey knew each other and that he and Fang used to take care and protect Toey from bullying when they were kids (i called it! Toey mannerism and the way he talks definitely made him prime target for bullying.) its still not excuse Phum's behavior toward Peem but that + all the apologies he gave this ep soften him for me.

Tan is my new number one blorbo. throwing a party to just tell your friends that you're in love is very Mwah! and that VOICE! he did for toey at the party, crack the hell out of me. ok, how to explain this. so that voice both the deepness of it and the way the audio played gave a very specific old C dramas Thai dubbed feels. that it, thats was the joke. i really loved its but its probably don't translated fully to non thai speakers.

We only got crumbs for Pun and Chain this ep. but ahhhhhhh! baby pun is so cute i can't, he too god damn cute. as a dumb boy myself your brain leaking from reading too much books is so relatable. Chain and Pun relationship being more like a mother and her son than friends is kinda weird but i'm rolling with it. idk what thats say about me but idc, i loved this two too dang much.

And now for the stars of this ep Toey and Q🌟 blam blam blam!! 🌟so i was kinda not into this two as much as other people on here who go bananas for them. but this ep sold me, i'm now 100% a QToey boyie. the way Satang portray him with such earnestly and those forking puppy eyes finally broke me. look, look. i'm not gonna say that i didn't cringe at the way toey talks, and i felt bad for it after we learnt that he definitely got bullied as a kid. the scene in the park where Q asked Toey if being his nong rahat make him felt under any pressure. Fuck thats so sweet, my heart! Q care so much despite being a grumpy bitch and he god damn shows it. i loved this so much. cause not a lot of grumpy BL characters were balanced well with thier grumpiness and tenderness. most of the times relationships like this in other BLs felt very one sided, but not this one. i hope the show will explore more of what happened to Toey, but i'm not gonna get my hope up cause thats kinda don't fit the vibes of this show.

This ep gave me the Friendships and the cutenest and i'm full! now we only need the brothers to get rope into this queer friends group, hell Phum can bring his two hot friends and Toey can bring cute little JJ, and Ciize can be the token lesbian. make them all friends!!

#we are the series #thai bl #bl drama #dumb boy unhinged thoughts #we are series #we are

[s1uttykitty]

HA you get a whole callout post @catenby-perineum :p

You are by and far one of the first ppl on here when I came back that I felt comfy with. You just have a way of treading the line between being mean and being affectionate to all these horny pets on here (myself included) to the point where i literally didn't realize how much I enjoyed some of the bullying/teasing before you. I've also told you privately but you are arguably one of the main people who got me into pet play, both sexually and non sexually. To the point where I have different pet vibes I've been able to distinguish!! Like. You did that, Red.

On top of all that? You have one of the most attractive bodies I've seen on here. Your hair, your chest, your tummy, your HANDS GOOD GOD, your amazing cock, fucking everything. I am serious that a platonic worship session with you would probably fix me 🥺😌 you look so damn cuddleable too AND I wanna choke on your cock while you play video games. I just. Whew. I've cum and edged to your content more times than I can count.

#compliments #catenby-perineum

[hazbmymhotel]

Heading to the spider’s nest

Chapter 6 is out!!

“It feels good to be doin’ my own business for once, Husker,” Angel said, stretching his arms above his head. It brought attention to a silky blouse he was wearing, paired with a tiny plaid skirt. Angel vowed to find something more matronly on the way home.

“Didn't you do shit for yourself all the time outside of the studio?” Husk asked, stretching his wings back behind him. “As far as deals went, yours was fairly lax.”

“Psh. I'm gonna tell you the scars I got under my fur say otherwise,” Angel rolled his eyes. He turned the corner, heading towards the dingiest part of the city.

“You should show me sometime,” Husk said, his voice low and flirty.

Angel grinned, “shut up, Kitty Cat. I got fuckin’ work to do. I can't be all weak kneed.” Though he was still trembling from the withdrawals, it was an easier shaking to handle than tummy flips.

“Do we have a plan?” Husk asked.

“Mm. Well, I figured I'd just go in and ask,” Angel answered. “I mean, my Father is probably gonna be a real prick, but Arackniss will tell me whatever I want if I ask real nice.”

“And your Mother?”

“Ma will probably tell me somethin’ crazy stupid and hand me the worst mixtape ever made. I'm glad she's moved on from records, though, those are annoying to carry around.”

“Your ‘Ma’ likes music?” Husk asked, a small smile playing on his lips. “Was she big in the jazz scene?”

Angel shrugged a little, “I mean, maybe? She was usually gettin’ pushed around by Dad. He's a real asshole.”

“Am I going to have to watch out for him?” Husk raised his eyebrows. “Am I going to need to be a barrier between you two?”

“Why ya askin’ these kinda questions?” Angel asked, frowning.

“It's not the first time I've gotten married on a whim and met the parents after the fact. It's also not the first time I've had to deal with my spouse’s shitty father.”

Angel paused his step.

“You've been married before?”

Husk stopped a few feet ahead, turning his head back. “Twice…technically three times if you count that ceremony in India.”

“Excuse me?” Angel wheezed. “How come you've never said nothin’?”

“You've never asked.” Husk tapped his foot until Angel started walking again. “It's not common to just discuss topside life unless you're freshly buried.”

“Well, yeah…Yeah, I know that. I'm just…” Angel chewed his lip. “I feel like I shoulda asked that.”

Husk patted his own jacket and pulled out a flask. “What else do you feel like you should ask?” He took a swig.

Angel held his hand out until Husk gave him a sip. “Do you got any kids?”

Husk sighed. “Makes sense that was the next question. Two. One of my girls is in hell as far as I know.”

“Am I gonna meet her after this?” Angel’s heart was slamming in his chest as he handed back the flask.

“She told me not to talk to her after my second marriage. She's made it clear that we're not going to down here.” Husk tilted his head back on his next drink.

Angel asked quickly, “And how'd your first marriage end?”

“Hah.” Husk smirked a little. “Fucked a twink outside of a club in Chicago after I botched a magic show.”

“So she caught ya?”

“No…No, I couldn't keep that a secret.” Husk capped his flask. “I had a tendency to wear my heart on my sleeve…I learned to play my cards close to my chest after that. My second marriage ended after I gave her the clap.”

Angel barked out a laugh then covered his mouth. “Sorry, sorry! I thought it woulda been the gamblin’...I didn't realize you were a whore.”

Husk decidedly reopened his flask.

“The gambling didn't help.” He took a drink. “Sometimes it was the stakes I was bettin’ on that got me into someone's bed. Sometimes I…just couldn't help myself.” Husk wrinkled his nose, “it's no excuse. I don't find myself attracted to a lot of people, but when I do, it can be hard to control the urge.”

“Should I be insulted that you barely looked at me then?” Angel crossed his arms.

“You get insulted if someone misgenders your pig.”

“Fat Nuggets is a prince and should be respected,” Angel pouted.

“Hm.” Husk finally tucked his flask away. “No, I wouldn't be too worried if I were you, Angel. You're interestin’ when you're being honest. Plus you're gorgeous, which is a bonus.”

Angel blushed beneath his fur. He tightened his crossed arms over his chest and stomach, trying to contain the butterflies. “I mean…you're not half bad yourself. Am I gonna have to drag you home from some dame's house occasionally when you get too ‘hot and bothered’ or whatever?”

“Maybe. I don't really discriminate on gender… but I imagine it won't be long before you're missing having a group of men toss you around. Fair trade, right?” Husk tucked his wings closer to himself, knowing his Infidelities had usually been deal breakers.

Angel considered. “Fair. I do like t’have my holes filled.”

“One man’s cock cannot do all that,” Husk said.

“Yeah, but yours has all those…little nubs on it,” Angel found himself breathless again.

Husk cleared his throat a little. “Penile spines…An unfortunate side effect of my cat body. It's been effective at keeping me from fuckin’ anybody.”

“Excuse me?!?! Unfortunate?!” Angel fanned himself with all four arms. “I am goin’ insane at the thought of that thing rubbin’ at my insides. Will you make those cute little sounds you do all the time?” He stumbled a little. “Oh man. Maybe we shouldn't go today, I'm gettin' all weak kneed.”

“I don't make little sounds,” Husk said under his breath with a pouting mrrow. His tail flicked.

“Stop, you're killin' me!” Angel begged. “You're a little guy, and I just can't take it!”

“Could you stop flirting this hard in public?” Husk blushed furiously.

“ME?!” Angel could weep, he was so worked up.

Both of them straightened up, hands going to their holsters when someone burst out of a side door.

“What's all this racket?!” Arackniss yelled, his many eyes searching the scene while he raised two guns. His gazes settled on Angel and he relaxed. “Anthony!” He tucked his guns away. “What're you’s doin’ here, you gigantic cunt?”

Husk bristled, but Angel squealed, running forward and throwing his arms around the other spider.

“I was hopin’ it'd be you, you big fuckin’ knuckle head!” Angel squeezed his brother, having to lean over heavily to do so. The other man hugged Angel firmly, arms overlapping each other on his slim waist.

“Did the cat drag you in? Haha, who's that mook, huh?” Arackniss asked, patting Angel’s back to let him go.

Angel beamed back at Husk. “Oh, Nickie, that's my new husband, Husker.”

Arackniss shoved Angel aside and squared up at Husk, stalking towards him. It wasn't often he was taller than another demon, so it was nice to feel intimidating. “You’s think I'm gonna let my little baby brother frolic around with another goddamn queer ass little bitch with a tight ass and broad shoulders?”

Husk readied his hand on his playing cards.

“‘Course I am!” Arackniss raised his own arms threateningly…and wrapped all six around the man in a firm grip. “Put ‘er there, you’s mangy animal! I'm Nicolas!”

Husk squirmed and mrowled aggressively until he was able to wriggle free. He smoothed his hands over his fur. “Charmed,” he said flatly.

Arackniss laughed and slapped Angel’s back. “You's sure do like pricks!”

“Well I like you, don't I?” Angel slung two arms around his shoulder. “I got a question for ya, bro. You got a minute?”

The shorter spider glanced at the door, then back at Angel. “We're sorta interrogatin–”

The door slammed open again. “Arackniss, what's takin’ you’s? We got fingers to cut.”

Arackniss made an indecisive sound, “mmmnnListen, come on in. We's got some fuckin’ guests, boys!” He grabbed both of their arms, tugging Husk and Angel inside.

Husk crossed his arms, surveying the scene. It was an old warehouse of sorts. There were hooks and chains dangling from the ceiling.

“This'll only take a minute, Anthony,” Arackniss promised, stalking into a back room.

Husk frowned, his eyes dilating in the dimly lit space. Angel’s eyes glowed, which only made Husk feel more on edge in the current situation.

“Lame,” Angel complained. “Guess we better find Ma before Dad shows up.” He started walking away from Arackniss’ position. “I hope her little office is still back this way.”

“Hm.” Husk’s voice was low. “Are you sure this is a good idea, Angel?” He followed him and flattened his ears back to the sounds of muffled screams.

“What? Are you scared, Whiskers?” Angel asked, “didn't you tell me once you know how to interrogate a man?”

“It works a lot better if you butter them up first,” Husk said, glancing back. “Torture just gets them to say whatever you want to hear.”

“I dunno…I like torture. Makes me get wet.” Angel whispered, still feeling tingly from their moment outside.

“Can you stop thinking about sex for one–it makes you wet?” Husk’s feathers fluffed.

“Baby, have you really never watched one of my movies?” Angel asked, surprised. “Probably that's my special demon power. I was just reborn to be a star.”

Husk held his face in his paw and sighed.

“Oh! There it is!” Angel grabbed his hand off his face and pulled him forward. He knocked on a door eagerly. “Ma! You in there?”

“Come in!” A raspy voice called.

Angel opened the door to a plume of incense smoke. Probably. “I'm gonna assume that's incense,” he said out loud as he stepped in.

“I've been expectin’ you’s both,” said a woman settled into a large chair spun of webs. “My Tony, sweet boy, come gives me a big kiss.”

Angel giggled and pranced to her side, letting his mother smooch both of his cheeks. He stood straight and bounced back to Husker, grabbing both of his hands. “Ma, this is my husband, Husker, Husk, this is my Ma, Amy.”

“Amphetamy, please. The Don is lurking,” she warned.

Angel sighed and shut the door behind him. “Figures. I was hopin’ to avoid that big-” he stopped as Amphetamy leveled him a look. “Sorry, Ma. I came to ask Arackniss a question, but he's busy.”

Husk cleared his throat. “It's a pleasure to meet you, Ma’am.

“It’s good to see my boy settling down with a distinguished gentleman,” she said, holding her hands out and gesturing to the chairs in front of her desk.

Husk looked at Angel before they both took a seat. The woman busied herself with lighting a new incense cone and laying out a few saucers. She filled each one with a different substance: wine, whiskey, and cream. She unwrapped a cassette tape and used her spindly fingers to wind the take-up reel. Finally, Amphetamy heaved a boom box onto the table, and placed the tape inside.

Husk found himself staring at the saucer of cream until Angel startled him.

“We're gettin’ a fortune, huh?” Angel asked flatly. “The last one didn't make any damned sense, Ma. It was full of the goddamn Beatles and Rollin’ Stones.”

“And ACDC.” Amphetamy scoffed at him. “Learn some manners, boy. I'm doing a service for you's. If you’d have listened to my last tape, your soul would still never had fallen into a moth’s hands.”

Angel pursed his lips.

“How does this work, Ma’am?”

“I will answer your questions with my favorite medium. Music.” Amphetamy smiled at Husk, decidedly pouring additional cream into a glass, handing it to him as a reward for not being a little shit.

Husk tried not to look too eager.

“Go on, drink, it's not for my work.” Amphetamy urged. “But what is…I want to hear those questions.” She hit the “record” button on the boom box.

Husk sipped his cream, licking his lips to clear it from his fur. His tongue stuck out in a small blep, forgotten there.

Angel leaned on his elbow and watched Husker adoringly. “Well, Ma,” he said, voice wistful, “I broke a contract a couple's nights ago.”

“That isn't a question, child.”

Angel tried not to squirm as he watched Husk take another sip, absently licking the edge of the glass. He was so cute it hurt. “Well I broke my contract on a whim, Ma. And I don't know how I did it.”

Amphetamy looked at him flatly then looked at Husk. “Could one of you’s please articulate this into a question? Anyquestion??”

Husk gave a soft, warm chuckle. “Sorry, ma'am, we both know Angel has trouble with simple instruction.”

“Hey,” Angel pouted.

Husk continued, “How did Angel Dust break his own contract with Valentino?”

“Good,” Amphetamy said as the Boom Box started to whir. “More questions.”

Angel frowned, “you're not gonna answer us.”

“Questions!!” Amphetamy hissed.

“Ffffine. Are you not gonna answer us, Ma? Ow!” Angel jumped as Husk pinched his arm.

“Not those kinds of questions, jackass.” Husk swirled his cup, thinking. “How will our mutual contract affect us?”

“Good. Better. Keep asking as they bubble into your heads,” Amphetamy encouraged.

Angel rubbed his arm, pouting. “Will doing this bite me in the ass?”

“Less vague,” she said, guiding.

“Will promisin’ myself to Husk…I mean…is it a good idea?” Angel asked nervously, turning to watch his mother.

Husk, unbothered, asked, “what do we do about our contract now?”

“Should I try overlordin?”

Amphetamy held up a hand and looked at her boom box.

“Ask…different questions. Take your time.”

Angel groaned and turned to watch Husk again, trying to decide what to ask next.

Husk dipped his tongue into his glass.

Angel’s eyes glistened. “Isn't he the cutest, Ma?”

She sighed. Husk glared at him, but the look softened as his mind worked.

“How will our contract end?” Husk asked somberly.

“Don't ask shit like that!” Angel gasped, horrified, “take it back! Ma, how do I make the contract un-end?”

Husk reached over and held his paw on Angel’s arm. Angel covered it with two of his own hands, squeezing. “How do I even know what to do, Ma? I need advice for once!”

“I'm giving it to you,” Amphetamy promised. “Two more questions.”

“No you ain't!”

“Angel, calm down,” Husk soothed.

“No! All I want is for my fuckin' afterlife to be better than my shitty fuckin’ human life! Is that so much to ask?!”

“One more question.”

Husk set his glass down and stood on his chair to reach. He held Angel’s face in his hands and looked in his eyes. “Calm down…You know I love you, right?”

Amphetamy reached over and turned off the recording. “Such a difficult boy.”

Angel weakly touched Husk's hands on his face, eyes wet. “You love me? You do?”

 

Husk leaned forward, kissing his forehead. “Yes.” He grunted as Angel pulled him off of his chair, holding him tightly.

 

Clearing her throat, Amphetamy held out the cassette. “Listen to the songs. Really listen, Angel.”

 

Angel looked over Husk's shoulder and reached out for the tape. “It's gonna be bad, isn't it?”

 

“I don't know. The music places itself on there,” Amphetamy said, “now, listen.”

 

Angel nodded. Husk hopped down, having to stand on his toes to look over the desk. “Thank you, Ma'am.”

 

“I like this one, Angel, he's the first polite man you've brought home,” Amphetamy said. “Now go on before the Don finds you’s both.”

 

“Yeah, yeah…I know he's gonna be mad I didn't get permission for this,” Angel rolled his eyes. Still, he smiled warmly at her, “I love you, Ma.”

 

She blew him a kiss.

 

Angel and Husk walked through the now quiet warehouse, their feet each padding and clicking on the cement respectfully. When they reached the outside, Angel handed Husk the tape. “Keep it safe for Mommy, would ya?”

 

Husk huffed, but took it anyway, tucking it into his jacket. He paused. He frantically tapped over his jacket and pants. “My cards.”

 

“What?” Angel asked, startled.

 

“My fuckin’ cards are missing!”

 

Angel, alarmed, gave himself a once over. He wheezed. “My knife.”

 

“Not your guns?”

 

“My angelic knife,” Angel’s voice was tight. “Arackniss.”

 

 

Husk bristled, ready to turn heel.

 

“No-!” Angel grabbed his shoulder. “That's the only angelic weapon I had on me.”

 

“I'm not leavin’ my favorite fuckin' deck!” Husk growled. “And we can't let them figure out what that knife does.”

 

Angel grit his teeth. “Shit. Shit, you're right.”

#huskerdust #hazbin hotel #mymart #husker #fanfic #til death do us part

[hailsatanacab]

"give me a fandom and a prompt and i'll give you at least five sentences"

Ok then.

Jazz, Danny and Bruce are in the same age range, and Bruce has been harboring a massive crush on 7'foot tall Jazz since just after he began his training journey.

His kids know about and are mercyless. Danny thinks he's a bit of a fruit loop and 100% knows Bruce has a crush on his sister.

Into the future his coworkers find out that batman has been quietly pining after the Ghost Kings sister for years.

Chaos.

love that this reads as a challenge. Ok then. Write it. i will, let's goooo!

(sorry i kinda took it so that Jazz, Danny, and Bruce were all old friends but in that horrible adult way where you can only hang out with each other once in a blue moon when your work schedules miraculously align)

——

"Respectfully, Batman, you can take your "it's not necessary" and you can shove it up your arse. There's a demon the size of a skyscraper heading towards Metropolis and we need reinforcements."

"Superman can—"

"Superman can't. You do remember the part of the report I made telling you this, right? Or did your stubborn little bat brain just shut down when I mentioned magic?"

"Actually," Nightwing interrupts from the side, a shit-eating grin on his face, "I think his brain shut down when you mentioned the Ghost King."

"Nightwing." Batman growls in warning, his jaw clenching so hard Constantine can swear he hears the bones creaking.

Nightwing just snickers, and turns away to press a finger to his ear, no doubt letting the rest of the bat brood in on what's happening here... Whatever that is. All Constantine knows is that Batman is standing between him and fixing this mess for no God-forsaken reason.

Luckily, some of the more reasonable members of the League step in to try and talk some sense into Batman. It gives him some time to calm down.

"Batman. We need him. I know you dislike working with unknowns, but he's our best shot."

It actually looks like Wonder Woman might be getting through to him, Batman even opens his mouth to actually explain some things—a huge step forward for this incredibly emotionally constipated man.

Instead, Nightwing snorts and beats him to it. "Unknowns? More like—"

"Nightwing, please."

"Oh, for Pete's sake, get your head out of your arse and let me do this. The Ghost King is our only hope. I'm summoning him, no matter what you say."

For a long second, Constantine thinks that he'll refuse and he might have to resort to more violent methods of persuasion—which, honestly, Constantine has fantasised about many times during the more boring JL meetings—but eventually, Batman relents and steps out of the way.

"Fine. Nightwing, go check in with Red Robin."

Nightwing has the kind of devious smile that makes John glad he doesn't have kids.

"Oh, don't worry about it, B. Red Robin's coming here. So's Red Hood, I don't need to go anywhere."

"Nightwing—"

"Sh, it's starting." So saying, Nightwing then very obviously ignores Batman's protests with a poker face that even Constantine envies. What he wouldn't give to be able to shut the bat out like that.

The summoning goes quickly, thankfully. The lights flicker, the temperature drops, and the chalk circle erupts in green flames. Standard summoning practices, sure. Even the impromptu appearance of Red Hood and Red Robin—"Did we miss him?", "No, not yet! I got 2:37, what about you guys?"—doesn't throw him off.

It does pique his interest, though. Just what the hell is going on with them? Constantine's weighing up the pros and cons of asking them once all of this is over when the ground splits open and the clawed hand of the Ghost King begins to pull himself out of the ground.

John's a seasoned summoner. It's practically his job, he's done it countless times.

The icey fear that grips his heart, that freezes his breath in his chest, is new.

Pure, unadulterated power floods the area and he feels small, so, so small, like a child playing with things he doesn't understand. When he finally tears his eyes away from the portal, he catches a glimpse of the other magic users in the room, the same horror he feels clear in their faces. Even Captain Marvel stares slackjawed.

The pressure rises, death magic screaming in his ears, almost forcing him to his knees, and suddenly he's not so sure this is a good idea.

Too late to back out now, though.

Sickly green light pours from the crack in the ground, growing brighter and brighter as the giant figure rises, until Constantine has to close his eyes and look away. The last thing he sees are eyes, teeth, horns, a crown so bright that it burns an afterimage into his retinas.

When the light dies down and he opens his eyes again, a humanoid man floats in the centre of the circle. The ground is whole, nothing is burning, the man doesn't even have a crown. Instead, other than the wispy white hair, slightly green skin, and the—you know—floating, the Ghost King appears pretty normal. Huh.

Constantine blinks, rubbing his bleary eyes, and checks around to make sure everyone's okay. Most of the League are doing the same as him, taking fortifying breaths and trying to appear as if they've not just been completely blinded.

Most of them, that is, aside from the Gotham vigilantes.

Batman himself stands upright, arms crossed, looking completely unbothered by the whole thing and John's got to admit, he wishes he could do that, too. That was... a hell of a show.

The others, however, are waving frantically with huge smiles on their faces.

What?

There's a brief, taut silence, as everyone else tries to catch their breath.

As much as he would rather take a bit of a breather, John should probably start making introductions. Unfortunately, he only gets as far as opening his mouth before the Ghost King beats him to it.

"Oh, Ancients, hey guys! It's been forever, how are you? Look at you all, so grown up, wow—Nightwing, buddy, do a flip!"

It doesn't take much to get Nightwing going, and he certainly doesn't leave it at one flip. The whole of the Justice League and Justice League Dark watch with open mouths as Nightwing performs for the Ghost King.

What, and John can't stress this enough, the fuck?

As soon as Nightwing rights himself, Red Hood swats him across the back of the head and calls him a show off.

The Ghost King just laughs as he claps. "There's my little monkey, look at you go! And I'm loving that leather jacket, Hood, is that new? Looks good on you, really your colour. Brings out the red in your helmet."

"Thanks, Uncle D. At least someone around here appreciates fashion."

"Are you kidding me, you know I breathe fashion, need I remind—"

"Need I remind you of the Discowing incident?"

"That was era-appropriate and you know it! Uncle D, tell him it was era-appropriate!"

"It was era-appropriate, but so are crocs and it doesn't make them fashionable." The Ghost King—and holy shit, is this actually the Ghost King? Or did Constantine just accidentally summon a deceased family member, what the fuck is happening here?—turns to look at Red Robin with a smile, resolutely ignorning the argument he created. "How you doing, Double R? You get that tablet Tucker made for you?"

"Yes, thank you! It's so cool, how did he—"

"How's Tucker doing?" Batman interrupts, his hands now hidden underneath his cape.

As soon as the question leaves his lips, everyone groans. Red Robin makes a show of lifting up his wrist and staring at it intently.

"Incredible," Red Hood mutters with a shake of his head.

Even the Ghost King seems put out, rolling his eyes and answering in a flat tone as if he knows Batman isn't interested in what he has to say.

Not for the first time, Constantine feels like he's missing something.

"Tucker's doing very well, thank you for asking."

What follows is the most awkward silence Constantine has ever had the pleasure to be a part of.

All three of the Gotham vigilantes, including the Ghost King, are staring at Batman, waiting for something. Batman's cloak shifts as if he's moving his hands, fidgeting. If Constantine didn't know any better, he'd say he was nervous.

"Good. That's good, I'm glad to hear it."

Instead of saying anything else, the Ghost King just raises his eyebrows and continues to stare at Batman. Has he offended him in some way? Are they all going to die because of this?

After what seems like an agonising few minutes but could only really be a few seconds, Batman's shoulders dip and he takes a breath. "And Jazz?"

They all erupt into shouts, the Ghost King being the loudest. The only thing John can make out is when the Ghost King throws his hand in the air to point at Red Robin with a shout of "Time!"

"1:30.91, we got 1:30.91 on the clock, who's closest?"

"Did you even try to hold it in at all, old man? I'm so disappointed in you. People think you're cool. People think you're suave, I don't understand how they could be so wrong."

"Thank you for that, Hood."

"No, thank you, I won. Again. Because you're so predictable. Actually, I had one minute seventeen, so you held out longer than I thought you would."

Batman pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs loudly.

Constantine feels like doing the same thing.

Whatever. He's going to have to interrupt... whatever this is. There's still a rampaging demon heading their way that they've got to bargain for. He can untangle Batman's personal connection to the Ghost King later. Or he could leave it alone and forget everything about it.

Yeah, he'll do that one.

But before he can actually open his mouth to say anything, the Ghost King, again, beats him to it.

"So, B-Man, did you summon me here for a particular reason, or was it really just so you could ask about Jazz?"

There's a beat of silence before Batman mutters, "I asked about Tucker, too. We've not seen each other in so long, it's only polite."

"And I'm sure you meant it, you're the paragon of manners." The Ghost King nods slow and wide-eyed as if he doesn't believe him at all.

At this point, even Constantine doesn't believe him.

"It has been forever, though." The Ghost King muses, bringing his hand to his chin and folding his legs underneath him. "We should all get together sometime! If you get Alfie to make some of his cookies again, I'll get Clockwork to lend us a pocket dimension where we can spend as much time as we want, deal?"

"It's a deal."

No hesitation at all, incredible.

Hold on. Wait. John has to fight the urge to pinch himself, because this has to be a dream, right? Is Batman actually smiling? He didn't even know he could do that.

An itch niggles at the back of John's mind. He's starting to get an inkling of what's going on here and it's... weird, to say the least.

"Oooh," Nightwing singsongs, like a child in a playground tickled by the very idea of romance.

But then, who's he to judge? John's no stranger to strange bedfellows, that's for sure. Whoever this Jazz is, she must be something incredible—she'd have to be, if Batman can't even go two minutes without asking about her.

"Batman and Jasmine sitting in a tree," Nightwing continues, with both Red Hood and Red Robin joining in for the rest. "K—I—S—S—I—"

"Stop," Batman growls, completely drowned out by the Ghost King's laughter, but...

But.

It all suddenly clicks for John.

The Ghost King Phantom.

Her Royal Highness, Princess Jasmine Phantom.

Jazz.

"Holy shit, mate," John breathes, unable to stop himself as everyone looks his way. "You have the hots for the Princess of the Infinite Realms?"

The Justice League meeting room has never descended into chaos quicker.

#dpxdc #danny phantom crossover #danny phantom x batman #hoooolllyyy mackeral #it was hubris thinking i could keep anything to five sentences really wasn't it? #fucking played myself with that didn't i??? #anyway here's even more words on this i hope you enjoy!! #some things that didn't make it in: #duke doesn't come to see danny because he's too bright when he's in his ghost form and it gives him a migraine - he still plays the game #though and is second closest! #damian is there he's just biding his time. it's become a tradition for damian to try and stab danny whenever he turns up #he hasn't managed it yet but danny keeps encouraging him to try again! you'll get me next time champ! #it infuriates damian to no end - no he's not doing it because he's having fun he legitimately wants to kill him shut up! #danny loves cass so much and when they do all get together they always sit together - it often ends up with cass curling up around danny #ellie turns up every now and then! she's like an honourary wayne at this point #she's always down for any pranks and shenanigans #thank you for the prompt!! it was very fun. as you can see i got rather carried away haha #thank you i hope you enjoyed it!!! #my writing #cab writes

[suitetarts]

astarion is afraid of everyone except you, even when something dark within you is trying to kill him. after staying up all night with you, he opens up to make you feel better about being a monster. because you're both monsters. he promises he's going to be there for you. even if you can't confess and you just cry, astarion tells you that you're not alone. that's he's here for you. with you. together

i'm going to bite god and punch a brick wall

#100000% worth not watching the scene on youtube before i played it myself #oh my GOD??? #fucking A god fucking damn #my tav sitting on her bedroll the morning after like “did that really just happen? and astarion didn't leave??” #becaus e th eyre in lovve i sob #astarion #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #the dark urge #durge #astarion x durge #im so serious i cant believe this is CANON and not a fanfiction #or at least as canon as anything is in bg3 yknow what i meant

[skylarbee]

miles watching 505... and putting on a brave face

(via kkmeeluqq's IG story, 17.10.2023)

#he looks so fucking sad I'm devastated #night absolutely ruined I'm off to cry myself to sleep #there is not one good reason why he's not up there #not one #why is he not up there I'm never getting over this #and i just know that some time later some prick on a radio will ask him why tf he didn't play with them #and he'll mumble something about time or some technical bullshit and will barely be able to get his words out and #he will become tongue-tied as per usual when asked anything concerning alex #this is horrible goodbye #LOOK AT HIM #i want to scoop him up in my arms and hold him for HOURS #miles kane #alex turner #milex #arctic monkeys #the car tour

[crescentfool]

having the hc that minato is ace is incredibly funny sometimes when you think about how ryoji is oh so very bi because it's like. "ah. death stole my ability to be attracted to people," in the same way that ryoji stole minato's eye color and energy level. like wow, thanks ryoji, you just keep finding things to steal from minato!

#persona 3 spoilers #minato arisato #hc and au nonsense #lizzy speaks #happy international asexuality day to my fellow aces out there i hope you know that you are loved!!! 🎊🎉🥳 #i like viewing minato with the lens of him being gay / ace. esp bc it stems from my own experiences so it's fun to look at- #him from that perspective even if that's not what was intended by atlus y'know? #and im sure others have other hcs from me that are informed by their own life experiences and i think that's great ^_^ #something that i found interesting while playing FES was how. stilted? minato's animations felt when hugging the girls #you could definitely go with the perspective that it's a graphical limitation or they didn't have time to polish the animations #and that's def true!! but sometimes i see the hug @ yakushima beach + the other hugs and then i compare it to the sou/yo hug in p4 #and there's like... a noticeable difference to me with how intimate and close together the hugs are... #that said i do know that the animations for reload are updated and the hugs are much more natural (good on them tbh!) #the other thing is (pensive sigh). the way you couldn't reject any of the girls when doing their social links in FES #objectively speaking i'm glad that they did away with that and i like how the rejections were handled in reload. it feels naturally written #but also a part of me enjoyed looking at the “hey atlus what the FUCK” moment and thought of how to interpret it differently #specifically with the idea of minato having like.. little to no autonomy and kind of going along with the relationship #it kind of reminded me of myself tbh with like going along with the rship without considering what you want bc #it's what others want or expect out of you... LOL. i dont think atlus intended for someone to interpret it this way but #eh i think that's the fun part of hcs and looking at characters with certain lenses! #regardless of how you perceive minato i do think there's something to be said about him being the kind of guy who molds himself- #into someone that is needed. not wanted. but needed. important distinction here. #the one caveat my brain runs into when im like “minato is ace!” is when i remember thanatos exists and i go #“you know what these ideas can exist simultaneously” GKLHFHDFHD when in doubt schrodinger's headcanons #anyway that's all i've had this thought in my brain in awhile and haven't sat down to share it properly until now 👍 #have an excellent weekend everyone !!! lizzy loves you all lets all nurture our inner yippee!!! 🥺💙

[kiwiana-writes]

Six(ish) Sentence Sunday

Thanks @blairwaldcrf and @ssmtskw for the tags! This is technically only five sentences, but there is also some wanton semicolon abuse, so I think it counts.

The thing about Alex is, he’s always ten steps ahead of himself. When faced with a problem, more often than not the solution will come to him fully formed and he has to pick up the thread and walk it backwards through the labyrinthine pathways of his brain’s logic until all the twists and turns fit together; until he understands the steps to take to get himself from point A to point B. He’s always been this way, to the confusion of most people around him and the dismay of more than one high school math teacher begging him to show his working. The point is, he knows that what he’s looking at is how they get June home safely. He just needs to fit all the puzzle pieces together so he understands how.

Forever feeling feral for whatever y'all are up to, so tags below the cut and, as always, anyone who wants to play! (If you take the open tag please tag me so I can see!!)

@affectionatelyrs @anincompletelist @celaestis1 @cha-melodius @clottedcreamfudge @cricketnationrise @cultofsappho @daisymae-12 @dumbpeachjuice @getmehighonmagic @happiness-of-the-pursuit @heybuddy-drabbles @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @hypnostheory @iboatedhere @indestructibleheart @indomitable-love @inexplicablymine @leaves-of-laurelin @lilythesilly @myheartalivewrites @nontoxic-writes @orchidscript @rmd-writes @roseapothecary @sherryvalli @ships-to-sail @smc-27 @sparklepocalypse @stereopticons @suseagull04 @tintagel-or-cockleshells @welcometololaland 

#six sentence sunday #kiwiana-writes #wip: years of dreams just can't be wrong #calling myself out with this description of Alex's brain let's be real #and also my third form maths teacher who used to DOCK MARKS if I didn't show my working #but he was an asshole of the highest order for a multitude of reasons #also I seem to have accidentally committed to the Anastasia AU being next I guess #lowkey not loving anything I write at the moment so we'll see what happens #though tbh if the kings keep playing as well as they have I'll probably end up in the hockey bf henry sequel sooner rather than later #also this is baby's first gif lol #so if it's shit don't fucking @ me I don't care

[serotoninlinus]

GUYS

MICHAEL EMERSON ALERT

IN THE FALLOUT TV SHOW TRAILER

#stripesysheaven #linusbenjamin #Michael Emerson #me when my favorite Hollywood guy #i heard he's only gonna be in it for 1 ep but he was supposed to be on Lost for 3 eps too and we all know how that turned out so LMAO 🤞🤞🤞 #his fucking voice work!!!!! it's Peak (like always) #also that trailer was so awesome i'm hyped without even having played any of the games. if i were a Fallout fan i'd be shitting myself rn #Wilzig #luaPost=true #(btw i am not back. we're NOT so back. you didn't see me here

[atopvisenyashill]

This Is How I Can Still Win: How The Penroses Are Related to House Targaryen

SO. In case you don’t remember - you probably don’t, it’s a throwaway line and likely just George retconning and not doing it on purpose - Jeor Mormont misremembers Aelinor Penrose as being Aerys I’s sister instead of her cousin. Here’s the quote, from Jon I in A Clash of Kings:

"No, this was Aerys the First. The one Robert deposed was the second of that name.” “How long ago was this?” “Eighty years or close enough,” the Old Bear said, “and no, I still hadn’t been born, though Aemon had forged half a dozen links of his maester’s chain by then. Aerys wed his own sister, as the Targaryens were wont to do, and reigned for ten or twelve years."

Potentially, this means that Aelinor has ~the Valyrian look~ and that’s why Jeor got them mixed up. But when you look at the information surrounding the Penroses that existed in this era, it looks a little wonky because of this line from The Mystery Knight:

"At the crossing of the Mandel, he cut down the sons of Lady Penrose one by one. They say he spared the life of the youngest one as a kindness to his mother."

So how can Elaena marry Ronnel, Lord of the Parchments, only have one son, yet Quentyn Ball slew all of “Lady Penrose’s” sons? How is Aelinor related to the Penroses and the Targaryens? What woman of Targaryen blood would marry into this random ass house in the middle of Stormlands? Why was it so important to retcon Aelinor from a sister into a cousin? Well - let’s have a think about what other houses have recent Valyrian blood…we have some female lines after all…perhaps even Targaryen women that married into politically active houses, who would love to marry back into the main branch again…I wonder who that could be…..Oh what’s that? Is that-

DRAGON TWINS TIME.

Allow me to spin two family trees for you, one where Rhaena’s daughter marries into the Penroses, and one where Baela’s daughter marries into the Penroses:

(pls applaud me for the amount of math i did for this very unserious post!) green is a romantic/marriage line, black is a parental relationship.

I am noting that this would mean Alyssa (I made her name up btw, mostly because I thought it would piss Daemon off to have a Hightower named after his beloved mother) gives birth at around 34, which is a perfectly reasonable age to have a child at, and Laena gives birth at like 40, which is definitely a lil risky! BUT there’s plenty of time for Laena to have other children, and for a second born son to have had a child at that same age, so if you think it’s a stretch for Laena to have a kid at 40 (perfectly fair) just pretend there’s a son there named “Roland” or something as Aelinor’s dad and Laena’s second born.

Now, FIRST OF ALL, this makes the cousin thing make sense, but also it makes it deeply funny - Aelinor is Aerys’ great aunt’s granddaughter. That’s a close enough relationship that you would consider them a cousin but it’s also the exact relationship Robert has to Rhaegar (because Rhaegar is Robert’s great uncle’s grandson). Both Aerys and Robert avoiding incest/kinslaying on a technicality lol.

But SECOND OF ALL. Do you know what makes me absolutely fucjing feral about this. Alyn Velaryon is messing around with a woman so much younger than him. That she marries his GRANDSON. because SHE IS THE SAME AGE AS HIS GRANDSON. i feel like george is weird enough to do the Baela scenario too.

And LASTLY OF ALL. Notice there’s plenty of time for Alyssa/Laena aka Lady Penrose after she’s married, to have several sons for Quentyn Ball to slay on the Redgrass Field, including Elaena’s husband, Ronnel himself, and for Elaena’s son, Robin Penrose, to inherit the seat afterwards. It also means, since it’s mentioned that Elaena married Michael Manwoody soon after her second husband died, that the two of them got a long time together. Why is this important? Because Michael Manwoody was her marriage for love and I want Elaena to have been with him for a long time.

This scenario gives her like 9 years with Ronnel (kinda sad, their kids don’t get to know their dad very long) and a minimum of 15 years with Michael Manwoody, who is apparently not the step dad but the dad that stepped up.

#me giving myself ronnel/elaena feelings for no goddamn reason making this akskkd. also used show casting but its book canon. #valyrianscrolls #elaena targaryen #aelinor penrose #michael manwoody #rhaena of pentos #baela targaryen #rhaena targaryen #aerys i targaryen #ronnel penrose #house penrose #getting on my soap box #rani attempts meta #i realize this is basically a secret targaryen theory. but the targaryens they're descended from are THE DRAGON TWINS so its fine #also don’t talk to me about the aerys fancast. yes it’s wwe superstar sami zayn. what about it. #i wanted to fancast someone with some sort of swana heritage that could pass for white. had a bitch of a time not repeating anyone from my #dornish graphic. gave up and threw in my man sami bc he’s a white passing syrian icon. #i'm otherwise very proud of these fancasts. if we ever get the blackfyre rebellion and elaena isn't played by kylie bunbury #i'm gonna be disappointed now lol. also if you are wondering yes the aelinor and ronnel in the rhaena graphic have one (1) black grandparen #alfred molina is probably too sexy to play aegon iv but mark addy is already robert so. #also the longwaters sigil is from the asoiaf rp wiki bc i didn't want to give them a velaryon one #bc fuck alyn that's why #echoes of sansa and arya