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brewstersbru · 2 months

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A little riz ficlet i started last week and finished today (pok feels 💚)

Your name is Riz.

Riz knows Kristen didn’t mean it, knows she was just being funny, trying to ease his nerves before his first big game on the Owlbears. But he can’t stop hearing his mother’s voice in his head, digging, nudging him to buck up and fight against it.

He regrets snapping at her, but not as much as he should, probably. He’s not certain he would’ve even said anything if his mom hadn’t had that conversation with him.

And now Kristen’s getting expelled, but not really, and instead they have to go through a harrowing trial of standardized testing coupled with fighting monsters where it only ends if all of them die or they kill all the monsters.

No one has ever killed all the monsters before, and Riz isn’t arrogant enough to actually believe they’ll be the first. Not with the weight of Junior year on their shoulders. It’ll be nice to see his dad again, outside of the tiny little hologram on his watch, or when he talks to the air around his grave- never knowing for sure but believing that he’s there, listening.

But dying hurts. Riz still gets nightmares about that first time he did it, and it doesn’t help that the video of it happening is still up for everyone to see. The views keep climbing, no matter how time marches on people still search it up. It makes him a little nauseous to think about.

There’s a lot on Riz’s mind tonight- not that there hasn’t always been- but for some reason he can’t tune it out right now, can’t push it down with work or school or trying to solve a mystery. His mind is just running, turning over and over itself, churning through the complicated web of problems he’s found himself caught in.

There’s just so much that needs fixing, that needs to be worked on and chipped away at and he can’t do anything about it. Just has to stare at the ceiling of the living room in Mordrid Manor, trying to will himself to sleep while his friends snore beside him. Well- Adiane isn’t really sleeping, but after finally dropping the mental weight of her finances, she’s been falling deeper into her trances to regain her energy.

It feels almost like his heart is about to jump right out of his chest, like it’s squirming around, trying to wedge itself up his throat and out of his mouth. Riz would never tell anyone this but he’s terrified that he’s still that same futile little thing he was in the palimpsest. Scratching at thick walls until his hands bleed, littered with shards of the effort, but in that righteous violence, ultimately having done nothing of real use.

How many times does he have to bleed for it to mean something? How many times does he have to die before his friends can stay with him? Before people and gods and monsters stop trying to pry them away from his bloody, clenched fingers. He worked for this, he dug deep and rent himself in six equal pieces for the hope of staying together. How much more could the universe possibly expect from him? When is it enough?

There’s a soft beep from his wristwatch- which, unlike all of his other gadgets, he never takes off, not even when sleeping- and Riz takes the opportunity to get away from staring at the same crack in the ceiling he’s been looking at for the past hour. He stands and picks his way through a maze of limbs and drool to the kitchen.

With some semblance of privacy, he checks the watch. What could his dad- Agent Gukgak- need from him at this time of night? Does time work the same way up there? Is he ok? Is it possible for him not to be?

A small hologram of his father appears above the watch, disheveled, as if he just got back to the office. As soon as he appears, he steps back for a moment and quickly catalogues his son’s state. After about a minute, he heaves a deep sigh.

“You’re ok.” It’s not a question. Riz nods, slowly.

“I am, sure. But what about you, Agent Gukgak- sir? What’s wrong? Why’d you call?” He tries to keep his voice quiet, and moves towards the front door, hoping to get outside so he and Agent Gukgak can have a serious business conversation without him sounding like a teenager at a sleepover. He is a teenager at a sleepover, but that’s beside the point.

Agent Gukgak tilts his head at him. “Kiddo, I didn’t call for me, I called for you. Your heartbeat spiked about a half hour ago and hasn’t returned to baseline since. I called as soon as I could get back.”

Riz, having just made it outside- the door creaked just slightly, but he’s not worried about any of the others having heard; they sleep like logs- stumbles a bit as he tries to settle himself on the porch steps.

It’s late, so he can be forgiven for lacking his usual tact as he stutters, “Wha- huh? This thing can track my heartbeat?” Like that was the most important part of what Agent Gukgak had said.

Agent Gukgak smiles at him, wry. “Course it can, and your blood sugar, iron levels, as well as body temperature. You should talk to your mom about iron pills, actually, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. I know you haven’t been to the doctor for a while, but we’ve been detecting low iron in your blood for a while. And don’t even get me started on your eating habits, you’re just like your mother, waiting until you’re near ready to faint to give your body anything substantial.” His tone starts warm, but quickly devolves into something more scolding. Riz allows the conversation to derail a little bit.

“It’s not that I do it consciously, I just forget. There’s a lot of work to do and it’s hard to schedule out non-school-mandated mealtimes for myself. I’ll make a note about the iron though.” Riz thinks they’re both overtly aware of the fact that he doesn’t move to jot anything down. Iron pills have got to be expensive, and if he’s made it this far without, he doesn’t see a reason to ask for them now. Agent Gukgak sighs.

“Riz- it’s- I-“ He pauses, takes a second to collect himself. “I often find myself wishing, when we talk, that I was able to come down there and live with you and your mother. At least until we sent you off to college.” There’s a wistfulness to his gaze that Riz can’t find it within himself to watch, he knows what’s at the end of this train of thought and it’s never pretty. ‘What ifs’ and ‘could have beens’ are only as good as a wish, because they’re never rooted in reality. Always washed with rose and drowned in nostalgia.

Riz cuts in, “You’ve been doing good work where you can. And- and I think I turned out pretty okay. All things considered.” It feels a little strange to be defending his father to himself, but Agent Gukgak just shakes his head.

“More than ‘pretty okay’, kiddo. You’re the best thing I’ve ever done, not just in your work, but in who you are. I see the way you care for your friends, the way you help your mother, the way you meet every problem head on with a plan and a backup plan, just in case. I just wish the world had been kinder. Wish I coulda been there to make it be, when it couldn’t get there on its own.”

And then, for some, mortifying reason, Riz bursts into tears. It’s not loud or messy or even really all that different than what he usually looks like. At a distance, you probably wouldn’t even be able to tell. But there are tears streaming steadily down his face and every so often he has to sniff and blink his eyes to catch up with the stream. He swipes an arm roughly across his eyes to try and stem the flow, or better, stop it completely.

“I’m sorry, Agent-“

“Dad. Just call me dad kiddo. Please. Or Pok, just- not ‘Agent Gukgak’.” Pok’s own expression has crumpled, brows furrowing at the sight of his son so obviously distraught with no way to physically comfort him.

Riz nods, “Sorry, dad, I don’t-“ He sniffs, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It’s just Kristen’s being expelled unless we do this last stand thing tomorrow where we’re probably gonna die at the end, and I saw my name in Kipperlilly’s file but I haven’t had time to figure out why it’s there, and Fig skipped class again, which, I know isn’t going to fail her probably but it makes me nervous because what if she starts skipping every day again? Also our vice principal might be crazy and evil and I haven’t had any time at all to look into that-“

He cuts himself off with a gasping, cut-off sob, burying his face in his arm in his overwhelm but keeping his wrist level so Pok remains visible.

It’s hard to see through the rivers of tears that are spouting from his tear ducts, but Riz thinks he sees his father tugging at his hair, pacing as he watches this unfold. Huh, they kind of are the same.

“You’re seventeen. Seventeen, you shouldn’t- I can’t-“ He seems at a loss for words, baffled by the injustice of it all. Riz has stopped trying to fight the waves of tears, instead letting them wash over them, swiping at his cheeks every couple of seconds to keep them dry.

Pok paces for a few more minutes, fiddling with different parts of his outfit until he’s gathered his thoughts.

“I’m sorry, Riz.” Is what he settles on, moving close to the image capture of the hologram so that, if Riz were to tilt his head forward, it could almost be as if they were touching foreheads. Pok continues, closing his eyes.

“I’m sorry I can’t be there and I’m sorry that you have so much to deal with right now. I wish I could do more, but all I can give you is advice. What you’ve got on your plate right now, every piece of this hellish puzzle, both is and is not a war. There’s you, and there’s the problem, and a lot of times it seems like the problem is so much bigger than you are, so much more than you’re equipped to handle. Like you’re a man at the base of a mountain with a shovel, hoping to dig a hole through it. But once you start thinking that, the moment you let yourself become less than, that’s when you start losing. You either gotta grow to match the size of it or cut it into little pieces you know you can handle, and I’ve never met anyone who could do the first of those.”

Pok takes a deep breath, then his lips quirk into a rueful smile.

“Also, it’s a lot easier to do things when you eat, and you let other people help you.” He emphasizes the last parts with a heavy look directly into Riz’s eyes. Like he knows exactly how he’s been doing things thus far and is telling him to change it up, for his own sake.

Riz sniffles, nodding. If he closes his eyes, he can almost feel the warmth of his father’s skin through the hologram. Or the illusion of it.

“I can do that.” Riz takes a deep breath. “I can do that.”

Pok smiles. “I know you can, kid. Just take it slow. Don’t lose yourself in it.” He speaks as if he’s learned from experience. The realization of how little he truly knows his father hits Riz like a bucket of ice water. A shiver works its way up his spine.

For a moment, he considers asking. Thinks about spending the night on this porch, effectively on the phone with his dad, talking and learning things he’s wanted to know for as long as he’s been visiting Pok’s grave. Then, Pok clears his throat, expression pinched with regret.

“Sorry, kid I-“

Then he remembers that life isn’t fair, and the world moves on, whether you’re ready for it or not. Riz blinks away his tears.

“Yeah- no- I know. You’ve got badass angel things to do. I’m good. Thanks for calling.”

Pok gets a look on his face, equal parts proud and devastated. His eyebrows furrow into poignant resignation.

“I’ll try to do it more. Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

And then he’s gone, and all Riz has is the cool fingers of the wind, grasping over his shoulders in an icy embrace. He puffs a breath into the air and watches it fizzle from fog to nothing.

It’s dark. It’s going to be dark for another eight hours at least.

Riz is going to die tomorrow, probably. He’ll be fine, but he doesn’t want to.

He really doesn’t want to.

#riz gukgak #fantasy high #fhjy spoilers #fhjy #pok gukgak #father son feels #nothing is okay ever #i will never write a completely healthy father son dynamic mwahahaha #riz is so small its crazy how u can fit sooooo many issues into one little guy #one guy so little as he #might be incomprehensible it is late #brublurbs #cross posted on ao3 as always bc i crave attention

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remidyal · 1 year

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Remidyal's Fic Masterpost

A full list of my current fics, assuming I remember to update this post and pin it!

I love people doing derivative works and give blanket permission for any non-commercial art, podfic, etc SO LONG AS you do not use an AI or machine learning tool. Also, please link it to me because I wanna see.

Dimension 20 stuff:

Long fics:

Lunacy is my longest fic (at the time of writing this, about 180k words), an in-progress Adaine (and, particularly later, Aelwyn) focused fic in which Adaine fails her con save and becomes a werewolf. Similar overall in tone to the original, Lunacy strives pretty hard to be largely canon compliant from that divergence point, other than things that just are mostly changed for narrative needs. A heavy focus on Adaine (and again, later, Aelwyn) finding a family. There's two other works in the series; one is a short fic that was a draft oneshot of the core idea, the other is some supplemental material and missing scenes.

This thing is my baby and if you make art or recursive fic of it I will love it and you.

Missing is another in-progress long form fic, this one with Aelwyn as the main character and Adaine in the secondary role. This one is much less canon-compliant than Lunacy; the Abernant parents start on physical abuse sooner than they do in canon, and Aelwyn is a little bit braver and runs away, taking Adaine with her. Generally will have shorter chapters than Lunacy and definitely won't be going 250k words the way Lunacy probably will by the end.

Oneshots and short series:

Most of these are in the 1k-2k word range.

Fantasy High:

Poison and its sequel Bane focus on a very toxic relationship between Penelope Everpetal and Aelwyn Abernant. They're pretty angsty, but I actually really like them. It's not a sincere romance by any means - for starters, Aelwyn in almost all of my works is Aromantic Pansexual (and Adaine is aroace) - and it's definitely Penelope driving it. I may do a third part of this one sometime.

Dreams is much longer than most of these oneshots, just short of 10k words, and is centered around Riz and Kalina, though all of the Bad Kids appear and Fig and Adaine are the most important characters besides those two. This is a class swap AU, with Riz as a Cleric of the 'Sleeping God', and Kalina (and the Sleeping God) as a much more ambiguous figure than the Nightmare King and Kalina of canon. I DEEPLY love the class swaps here, particularly Cleric Riz, Warlock Kristen, and Wild Magic Sorcerer Adaine.

Flames of Passion is the only one of these that's under a thousand words, coming in right around 900. It's also maybe the only one of these truly focused on a romantic ship (Poison and Bane are definitely not ROMANTIC). The pairing is Kalvaxus/Gilear. Make of it what you will.

Dig Out is another one that's likely to get a followup someday. This one seems more angsty than it really is, because I think it ends in kind of a happy way? But it's marked with major character death, because Adaine's a zombie in this one. Give it a read anyway? I genuinely have grown to really love this one.

The Ghost of Me is another one where Adaine dies, but this one's almost triumphant. This is a fic imagining her following through on the threats she makes to Kir and Angwyn if the Elvish government executes her.

Minutes from the July Mordred Manor Wizard's Council Meeting is almost a purely comedic fluff piece, centered around the Mordred Manor Wizard's Council of Adaine O'Shaughnessey, Aelwyn Abernant, Ayda Aguefort, and Zayn Darkshadow.

Waiting is a purely comedic piece about the Bad Kids, plus Aelwyn and Ayda, getting a summer job at a thinly veiled Waffle House expy.

Runaway was a theoretical pilot (the same way Lunacy had) for a series in which Aelwyn stuck Adaine in a palimpsest in their fight and then fled the country with that crystal.

Non-Fantasy High:

Sisters is a post-canon by several years A Crown of Candy fic following Ruby looking into possible disloyalty among the new Candian nobility.

Gallivant's End is a post-canon Starstruck fic following Riva on their journey home, worrying about the changes they have gone through.

Unending Summer is a post-canon (I'm sensing a trend...) Unsleeping City fic focused on Iga's kids, who I had to create tags for to publish this fic even though they are awesome. Y'all should write more Iga's Kids fic, collectively.

Non-Dimension 20 Works

These have both been on hold for a few months, but I do plan to complete both.

To See the End is a Tales of Berseria canon-divergent AU fic, splitting off at the point where Magilou makes her last stand against Melchior; in this, the party is slower and Melchior pushes her to the point of brain hemorrhaging, killing Magilou and leaving her spirit to reincarnate (as a powerful magic user) on the spot as a Malak.

People Who Lies To Themselves is a full Naruto AU where Orochimaru ends up as the fourth Hokage and the village is just generally harsher and crappier, but at least more open about it. It follows a Sakura who gets peer pressured in VERY different ways.

#fanfic #master post #dimension 20 #fantasy high #fanfiction #naruto #sakura haruno #magilou mayvin #tales of berseria #adaine abernant #aelwyn abernant #riz gukgak

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haven-gum-rockrose · 5 months

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tell us about riz (ask game)

RIZ RIZ RIZ BET

first impression: oh this boy has so much frantic energy omg and cares so much about this penny girl he tries so hard, hes completely not sleeping to find his only friend...... Fuck I'm gonna end up kinning this guy, aren't I. And then it just kept going

impression now: ...... he cares. so. much. i care so much. its everything and he is everything to me- i actually dont know how to express it. he's like- holy. literally, he works for heaven now. but thats not important, he is.

Favorite moment....... fuck.... hmm... god i really like his interactions with Kalina. it could be "hiss at her, litigator!" followed by him hissing in court, but thats more a fig thing so.... while its not necessarily the moment, i like what it came to mean for his character. Him stuck in the palimpsest at the arcade, having lost to Penny's game, cutting his hands digging through the crystals, simply because that is so often referred back to

HONORABLE MENTIONS BECAUSE HES MY LITTLE GUY AND FUCK IT WE BALL: "i'm really gonna spiral here" after getting his own private office to do pi shit in, him suggesting "we can throw rocks in the river" as a hangout option because his only experience with what hangouts are like comes from violent productive adventuring and also noir mystery films/books/games, Riz inventinting the Night Yorb because he couldnt just relax. HIM TALKING TO HIS MOM ABOUT LIKE- IDFK WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF OR HOW TO INTERACT WITH MY FRIENDS IF THERES NOT A PROBLEM I CAN SOLVE- like shoot me with a fucking gun why dont you- uhhhhhh... "its just a metal tube. i think its beautiful *and then i do a little dance*" ..... theres a lot imma shut up

Story idea....... shit- him hanging out with the seven. please. idk, im very content with my- WAIT NO i wouldnt write about him, but any fanfic where he interacts with jawbone(like as the guidance counselor, not as the dad of most of his friends) - head in hands-

unpopular opinion: shipping fabriz is fine. like i dont like it and any ship stuff for them i read(which i do read) i am personally interpreting as platonic cuz im really good at that, or unrequited. i know a lot of people get pressed about it cuz aroace erasure which yeah if youre changing him to demi thats a bit- or if its one of those "Pok was right, he might just be a late bloomer, lol theyre aged up and actually riz finds out he's pan lololol" thats a bit - like please stop. but if hes dating the guy as an aroace person or theyre qpring. whats the big deal. i know riz doesnt want a relationship and all but - that the point of shipping? like i know for some people its uncomfy especially with how its the most popular d20 ship(at least based on ao3), but to me its like- shipping is literally pushing together characters and its always purely self indulgent??? like ship whoever you want as long as he stays aroace. anyways i didnt need to justify myself and show both arguements like that. none of you know this guy. except two people hi eni and aether

favorite relatioship: ..... LISTEN IGNORE EVERYTHING I JUST SAID. FABIAN AND RIZ THEY ARE BEST FRIENDS FABIAN SEACASTER AND THE FUCKING BALL LIKE THEYVE COME SO FAR IN THEIR DYNAMIC ITS CHANGED SO MUCH - theyre so opposites theyre everything theyre everything THEY SHOULDNT BE FRIENDS! AND THEYRE NOT!! THEYRE BEST FRIENDS!!!! AUGH!!!

favorite headcanon: autistic and anxious...... uh..... my brain is very gone... i think he still has like a bunch of different friendship bracelets from Penny that he keeps in like little collectors cases. ALSO I DONT THINK SHE EVER GAVE THEM TO HIM I THINK THEY WOULD JUST LIKE APPEAR ON HIS WRIST SHE WAS SLEIGHT OF HANDING THOSE SHITS ONETO HIS WRISTS BECAUSE HE COMPLAINED IT DIDNT MATCH HIS AESTHETIC AND THEN SHED LEAVE AND HE BE LIKE- im gonna frame this and put in on my wall.... but like as in in a false bottom in a drawer so its cooler

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plenilune · 1 year

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lmao I'm sat here at my desk in the morning drinking a mug of coffee, listening to music, and reblogging shit on tumblr like it's 2010 again. you go kid. war never changes. except you have your own apartment now and you painted that desk with paint your partner made you at their terrible job at the time, and you finally have that vintage leather wingback swivel chair you've always wanted because it was only $25 at an antique store for some reason, and your partner made the coffee this morning before they left for work, and you can take a bus to a museum or a café with velvet armchairs where they know your name or an oddities shop that's also a record shop if you want to, and you can swear inventively out loud whenever you want. idk sometimes all my past lives palimpsest over each other and I can feel them. an array of desks and computer set-ups, and this is the first one that I really got to choose instead of try to make look like me out of spare parts and what's-allowed. and, you know, I'm getting to a place where there's a chance I might actually get to like my life and be really happy in it this time, instead of deliriously happy in snatched-up seconds when I can get them or dig them out of the ground and miserable the rest, which is a little frightening. but nice! maybe! I don't really know what it's like to be not in pain all the time! anyway this was supposed to be a funny little observation and it's got away from me a bit. I'm going to make an egg later. I'm going to the bank. it looks like it might rain. I have the day off work and I could go wherever I want.

#the diary

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courtesansjewelbox · 2 years

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“origin stories” by Safia Elhillo from The January Children

(transcribed without blank spaces under the cut)

i was made out of clay out of time the quran says we began / as a single clot of blood & i keep digging the wound it’s warm inside / some things you lose to mark the time yes men of course but also / some hair handful of teeth is what i am told but all i lost / is a language but i keep quiet & no one can tell

my grandmother tells me to shred dill / by hand she means to teach me patience she calls it length of mind

i hear prayer called by a voice thick with something hurting / like a croak but i do not mean that it is ugly / it is dawn in khartoum & i am two days arrived everyone kisses / my cheeks & asks if i am returned or visiting & i think / they mean to be kind i sleep through gatherings & feel / there is too much blood in my body & that my name is my / name is my name is my name is

in khartoum’s bright yellow morning my grandfather brings me / the season’s first mangoes & tells me it is time to come home / they are firm & green but on the inside all sunlight i use my hands / & spill the juice all down my front i fill my mouth & do not answer

---

I read this poem in August 2022 and it felt so familiar, the story of everyone in diaspora, the difference of visiting versus returning. It reminded me of an essay I read in June called “’Come Back Home Soon’: The Pleasures and Agonies of ‘Homeland’ Visits” by Rick Bonus from Filipino Studies: Palimpsests of Nation and Diaspora.

I am planning to visit the homeland next year, and feeling ambivalent about it.

#poetry #safia elhillo #diaspora

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1-dollar-bottomless-void · 1 year

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She Wears a Short Skirt

She wears a skirt that's just a little too short. Like, if you saw her walking down the street, and you were the sort of person who looked at people who were walking down the street, you would imagine sudden gusts of wind, and dropped keys, and high jumps. Maybe you're hoping that they don't happen, for her sake. Maybe you're hoping they do, for yours.

She wears a smile that makes you feel something. Like you want something. You can't think of anything else. You can't focus. It's just her smile. You want. You need. You're not even sure what it is that you need, just that you need it, and she has it. Maybe you want those lips. Maybe you want her to stop smiling.

She wears tall boots that were made for walking. Yeah, just like the song. They go up and up and up and up, 'til the elevation leaves you breathless. Each step drives the air from your lungs, and you forget to inhale as the suspense of her legs in motion brings you to the edge of your seat. And still the boots come down. Again. Again. Heartbeats. Faster and faster, aching for oxygen, blood pouring through your body. Through her body.

She wears her hair like she has something to hide. The color escapes description. Maybe it's brown, or blonde, or blue, or black, none of it matters, because no color can describe it. It almost seems alive, caressing the contours of her neck and face, coiling in dark corners; a shelter, a curtain, a shroud.

She wears her skin like it doesn't fit. Like every step she takes reminds her of a body that you cannot see. The way her muscles flex, the way her tendons stretch, the way her fat bounces, the way her bones shift. She's uncomfortable in a way that you can't look away from. It hurts, but who? It writhes, it crawls, it sobs, it turns.

She wears a photograph like she doesn't belong. Her head always turned, the lighting always wrong, her limbs always in motion, her eyes fixed on something that was not captured in the moment. A candid curse. She is indistinct: a ghost, a vampire, a silhouette. Even as you look at her, you aren't sure you are seeing her, or only seeing her absence. Maybe it's both.

She wears the blood like the day she was born. Covered, screaming, wailing at existence, triumphant. You know this blood, like you know your eyes, and teeth, and tongue, and heart, and lungs, and stomach, and liver, and kidneys, and intestines, and reproductive organs. Her voice is newly made, sorrowful, relieved, unfamiliar, yet something you've always felt deep in the marrow of your memories. She looks at you, and your see yourself on top of her, a red palimpsest, a stain of the past.

She wears sorrow that is unending. You no longer try to look at her, for fear that you will only see yourself. It's a hungry thing, that eats and eats and eats and is never full, but aches with denial nonetheless. It is a thing made of unmaking, a diffusion of light, a pit that was supposed to be a bed. Her fingers dig at the covers, at her skin. She keens in agony and ecstacy. But you have long since stopped looking.

She wears a skirt that's just a little too short. Short of breath, short of self, short of the living, and short of the dead.

[intern] from the American Cryptozoological Archives, scrawled on a piece of paper that fell out of a folder labeled "The Girl." It smelled like fresh dirt, and it kept sticking to my hand.

#surreal horror #cryptid #the girl #from the soup

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5lazarus · 3 years

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Palimpsest

For the @sapphic-solstice fest! Posted on AO3 here.

Velanna and Sigrun fight some darkspawn, talk around the past, and write some letters.

“The golem,” Sigrun says. “They said our peoples worked together, once.” “Not like we do that now,” Velanna says sourly. Sigrun says, “Really? Then what do you think we’re doing, my love?” “I don’t think this is work,” Velanna says gruffly. A bit embarrassed, she pulls Sigrun in tighter. They’re sleeping under the stars. Velanna’s cast enough wards to keep the bugs away, and she radiates enough heat to keep Sigrun as toasty as the good spot in front of the fire. My fireball, Sigrun thinks fondly. Warmth. She’s too drowsy to come up with a compliment good enough to make Velanna blush, but not drowsy enough to stop thinking about the past.

She says, “Stars aren’t so strange. Like lyrium-lights. Don’t you think it’s funny both dwarves and elves can see well in the dark?” Velanna grunts. “Because the shem are stupid.” Sigrun laughs. “Yeah, they’re not the brightest. But the Wardens are okay.” Velanna says, “Hmph.” “You disagree?” Velanna strokes her face gently. You’re okay. The others….” She heaves a sigh. “I don’t think I was built for communal life. Even though I’m Dalish.” “Aw, c’mon, you’re not that irritable. Not nearly as bad as Nathaniel. Or Mahariel on a bad day.” Velanna says drily, “Such praise. Not as bad as a murderer’s son or our own neurotic Warden-Commander.” She rises suddenly. The wind wafts through the trees gently. The leaves rustle, but she spots something flit from branch to branch, networking through the canopy. Sigrun reaches for her favorite short sword. Velanna digs her fingers into the earth, feeling its heat travelling through its roots, and at the end--corruption. “Darkspawn,” she says shortly. “I don’t want to run,” Sigrun says. Velanna cannot argue with that, so they prepare an ambush. A shriek nearly catches her unawares, and as she strikes it down, she wonders if this were a cousin once, whose claim it came from, or worse--who birthed it? The battle is quick. They burn the remains and keep walking under the stars. As they trod their way towards dawn, Sigrun says, “You’re quiet.” “I’m tired.” “We can stay at an inn when we get back to the King’s Road. They won’t turn wardens away.” Velanna grunts. Sigrun tries again: “You know, the Legion of the Dead, we don’t let anyone who can make babies go down alone. So, you know. Darkspawn’s probably no one I know. And your sister--” “I don’t want to talk about Seranni.” Sigrun says, “But you should. At some point.” This is what they do, every night. They watch the stars and they watch the earth, and when the darkspawn come, they kill them and give them a merciful death. Then they move onto the dawn and wash the dust from the road at some hesitant inn, and then they talk. They talk about the dead, they talk about the living. Sigrun leads her onto the road through the blueing dawn. They don’t talk about Shianni, but Sigrun chatters about other things as birds peep through the tree-lined path. “See, in Dust Town, we don’t have birds, not really. Who ever heard about a flying dwarf? But I had pigeon a couple times, before I came to the surface. Not really a delicacy, and for once I didn’t have to steal it! Sometimes we’d have these feasts, just for the sake of having something to celebrate. Go all out, not even on a real feast day. One way to tell the Shaperate to fuck off, I guess. So my friend Anezka, she hooked herself a warrior caste, she gets him to get me and her and a few of the others a ‘celebration of the feathers.’ Some weird shit she came up with, after she saw some noble in a feather-dress. So we skinned the bird but didn’t pluck the feathers--” “That’s so time-consuming,” Velanna says, amused. “Why? Just drop it in the pot with some chilis and salt and--” “Because it looked cool,” Sigrun laughs. “It’s all about the looks, down in Orzammar.” “Ugh,” Velanna says. They reach the inn off the King’s Road. Velanna counts the horses: two, for a two-story building, they might have spare rooms. She hesitates. Will they give them a room? They are decked in Grey Warden armor, after all, and only a little gore-splattered. Sigrun gives her a push.

“C’mon,” she says. “Breakfast is on me.”

Their eyes do not need to adjust to the dusky inside. The innkeeper, a thin woman with a slash for a mouth, starts when she sees them. Her eyes rest on the Grey Warden crest on their chest. She crosses her arms. Plunderers, Velanna can tell she’s thinking. Treaty-takers.

“We need a room!” Sigrun pipes up. “And a bath. No horses, though. But I won’t say no to breakfast.” She flips a gold coin and catches it in her fist, grinning: we have money to pay.

The innkeeper says flatly, “Two sovereigns.”

Velanna says, “Fuck that,” and turns to leave, but Sigrun grabs her by the wrist.

“One sovereign,” Sigrun says pleasantly. “We’re sharing the bed. And the bath. Not the breakfast. And please, we have letters to write, we just destroyed a darkspawn warren not too far from here.” Be grateful, her tone implies. The innkeeper takes the hint.

No one’s up but the owner, so there’s no one to politely intimidate away from the table by the fire. They settle down happily, and Sigrun pulls out a piece of parchment. Velanna’s amused.

“I didn’t think we actually had letters,” she says.

“Someone needs to tell the commander there’s still darkspawn wandering,” Sigrun shrugs. “Especially since we found them this close to the King’s Road.”

“So conscientious,” Velanna teases. She reaches for Sigrun’s face. Sigrun leans into her hand, and Velanna kisses her. Breaking from the kiss, she says quietly, “I didn’t know we had parchment left. We could get Dalish paper—”

“Nah,” Sigrun says. She holds up a wooden stylus, the tip flat like a tiny spatula. “I’m just gonna scrape the ink off this old dispatch.” Curious, Velanna watches her shuffle the ink off the parchment skin. The innkeeper brings over two generous plates of eggs and sausage and fresh-looking bread, and the eternal Ferelden shem cheese. Velanna doesn’t thank her, so Sigrun shoots her a quick, reassuring smile. Of what? Velanna wonders. Well, you’ve killed a lot of shem.

She eats and watches Sigrun write. It’s always a delight to watch her work. First, she scrapes the ink off. Nathaniel told her that was called palimpsest, when you dig the ink out of a piece of parchment. Still, the scratchings remain. You can still see the words that were unwritten.

“What was that?” Velanna asks, wiping the crumbs away from her mouth.

“Hmm?” Sigrun peers at her over her shoulder. “How’s the food?”

“Heavy, like you like it.” Sigrun still eats like she’s starving. Velanna has faced lean times, everyone but the wealthiest shem and durgas durgen’len has, but not like Sigrun. She doesn’t think Sigrun will ever feel comfortable eating slowly. “What was written, before?”

“Oh. Uh.” Sigrun looks embarrassed. “Nothing.”

“Nothing?” Velanna says, amused. “It’s got to be something.”

Sigrun smiles bashfully. “I like to write about my day sometimes. What we do, who we meet, if we find anything interesting. But I scratch it off every day. Parchment’s so expensive.”

Velanna pauses. “If we go north, we need to go trade for some Dalish paper.”

“Nah. Too much trouble.”

She’s annoyed, and it’s not because she’s hungry anymore. Before she speaks, though, she asks herself why—something she’s learned from Sigrun herself. She’s tired, yes, and she doesn’t know if she wants to continue this conversation, but she knows she should. Sigrun’s only shy when she’s hiding something she’s bothered by. She needs to know, then. She’s her partner, and Velanna has learned that to be good for her, to be as good for as she has been for her, she needs to know.

“Trouble? It’s…we can just requisition it, can’t we?” She gestures to the food. “You always tell me to enjoy being a warden.” She scoffs slightly. “You shouldn’t erase your own record of yourself, you know.” She realizes: ah, that’s why. “They’ve done enough of that.”

Sigrun laughs. “It’s not like this is the Shaperate, Velanna. Just paper.”

“It’s the Shaperate for people like us,” Velanna retorts. “The Dalish write. And we have our songs and stories and friezes. We just have our dispatches. Add in a line. Give it to me.” She tugs the parchment from under her hand. “I’ll write it. ‘Give us more paper.’”

“Hugs and kisses, Velanna,” Sigrun says drily. She picks up a butter knife and begins smearing soft cheese onto the loaf. Velanna stretches an arm around her, and Sigrun leans into her as she eats. “Fine,” she says, muffled. She pauses to chew a bit more and swallow. “But who’s gonna read it? Not like I want Mahariel to read it. This is personal, not like—history.”

Velanna says, “Who cares? I’d kill to have my mother’s words.”

“I know you would,” Sigrun says.

“So you see my point. Someone will want it. You know how much it matters. Don’t let them scratch you off the page.”

“Who’s them?” Sigrun pushes against her gently. “Just me. Anyway, the scratch of the nib still fucks up the page. I’m still there.”

“Yeah,” Velanna says, “off in like, the margins. You dragged me to this inn, vhenan. Your words should be in the middle of the page.”

Sigrun says, “I think you got me lost in the woods of that metaphor, my love. Why don’t we go take that bath, and you try that again?”

“Oy,” Velanna says, but Sigrun’s laughing, so she smiles too. Sigrun finishes the report, Velanna adds in a demand for more paper, they take their bath and enjoy their bed, and at some point, Velanna knows, Sigrun will write about it—and someone will remember it for them, too.

#velanna/sigrun #sigrun/velanna #sigrun #velanna #dragon age #dao #awakening #dragon age fanfiction #dragon age fanfic #fluff #slice of life #light angst #established relationship #femslash #dragon age femslash

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dustedmagazine · 3 years

Text

Damu The Fudgemunk – Conversation Peace (Def Pressé)

Photo by Peter Clarke

Conversation Peace by Damu The Fudgemunk

In the annals of crate digging, the search for the evermore obscure eventually led intrepid explorers of sound to the arcane world of library music archives that housed countless tracks written specifically as background and incidental music for radio, television, advertising and film. Whether pioneers of synthesizer music and tape manipulation, tinkerers with found sound and detuned instruments, jazz musicians and composers funding their art through their production music output or artisans banging out designer ditties on demand, these men and women produced music at once familiar and strange. Their utilitarian approach ironically produced many innovations and this, coupled with the relative difficulty of acquiring music that was not created as a commercial commodity, made vinyl copies of such recordings highly sought after. One of the most important sources of library music was, and is, KPM who in partnership with boutique English label Def Pressé have invited a range of producers into their library with carte blanche, to sample their collection for use in original recordings. Washington DC polymath Earl Davis AKA Damu The Fudgemunk is the first beneficiary of this arrangement and the result, Conversation Peace, is a seamless tapestry of samples, beats and Native Tongues-influenced rap.

Damu samples funk, lounge and jazz lite tropes familiar from 1970s cop shows, snippets of strings, xylophones, synthesizers and wah wah guitar lines which he treats with the freedom of a jazz musician recontextualizing his sources to find new meaning through palimpsest, improvisation and bricolage. Guests Insight, Raw Poetic, Blu and Nitty Scott join Damu to explore identity, racism, ecology, systemic violence, black achievement, history and culture. The highlight is the four part “Four Better Or Worse,” on which Damu lays down a history of afrofuturist groove. Nitty Scott shines on Part 1, drawing a line between personal and political oppression. The theme is taken up by Blu on Part 2 and Raw Poetic on Part 3 with increasing specificity, calling out societally condoned murder and celebrating the power of the word. The suite ends with Damu focusing on the future “Got choices/Make choices/Make voices heard.” The magic is how the source material is repurposed as a paean to black music and thought; the music, like the words, at once expository and poetic, flows through a stream that links Sun Ra, George Clinton, Sly Stone, Afrika Bambaataa, Detroit techno and Chicago House.

A brilliant exercise in excavation and reclamation, Damu returns from his archaeological expedition to breathe new life into unearthed relics. Conversation Peace sets a benchmark for those who will follow him into KPM’s library.

Andrew Forell

#dusted magazine #albumreview #damu the fudgemunk #conversation peace #def pressé #andrew forell #kpm #library music #hip hop #raw poetic #blu #insight #nitty scott

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tulaladd · 3 years

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世界最遅tulaladd2020best DL list

年間ベストを始めて以来、初の事態。

なんと9か月遅れのポスト。あと3か月で次の年ベスの発表時期じゃないですか…唯一にして最大の理由が、もちろんあるにはある。

暗夜行路のような唄声が車内から眺める某庁舎前の雪景色と甘酸っぱい感情を喚起させるRY Xや、このリストには登場しない自分用に作ったプレイリスト（日本語ラップ編、シティーポップ編）をひとりで何度も諳んじては胸を焦がした。それらの音楽が本来持つ資質にプラスして思い出補正でランクインした作品がいくつかある（最たるものがサントラ部門かな）。そんな変化があった2020年でした。

それを除けば、音楽ライフは基本的に前年を踏襲。つまり引き続きapple music依存型で、DIG活動もほほ休止（荷物の山に埋もれたタンテをセッティングし直せるまともな精神状態じゃなかった…）。落第生の体たらくをここ何年も続けてるわけです。とはいえ昨年と比べれば、リスト入り作品の数が格段に増えた＝それなりに楽しい音楽生活が営めていたのも事実。その充実を支えたものがアルゴリズムって点がものすごく納得はいかないけれど。（毎年書いてるけど、手当たり次第サブスクを横断する中で「もう一度聴きたい」と思えたものが以下のDLリスト。感覚的には昨年より緩い5枚に1枚。それでも昨年比3倍の約250枚！）

いつまで延命できるか分からないローカルラジオを継続できたのもラッキーだった。相変わらずみんなとあーだこーだ言いながらいろんな曲を聴く時間が音楽ライフを豊かにしてくれました。感謝。過去最高に音楽への熱が薄いテキストになっちゃうけど、9か月遅れだと致し方なしか。

三ツ星評価のうち、エル・ミシェルズ・アフェアのシングルはラジオの一戸くんレコメン、今年も熱量が持続しているサウスロンドン・ジャズ・シーンのマンスール・ブラウンEPはおなじみWOZNIAK星くんのオススメ、ほかにも人から教わってお気に入りになった作品が少なくないのは、サブスクじゃ届かないリアルの強みが感じられて、そこだけは希望があるのかな。

youtube

特筆するとすれば、Bartosz KruczynskiのEARTH TRAX以来追い続けてきたリズムセクション・インターナショナルが、旬のサウスロンドン・シーンと地下ハウス/テクノ・シーンのメルティング・ポットだったことが分かって興味が再燃させられた個人的な事件。そのセンセーションのグラウンド・ゼロにあたるTHE COLOURS THAT RISEの発見が今年No.1の成果かな。

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唯一職場で音楽談義ができるために相互レコメンに特化したLINEを展開中のT氏に教えられたエディ・チャコンのアルバム、そのエディの復活劇を手掛け、若林恵さん経由でずっぽりハマったソランジュ『A Seat At The Table』の禅的ミニマリズのデザイナーでもあることが事後に発覚したジョン・キャロル・カービーの2人は、今年ならではの幸福な時間の中で何度も繰り返し聴いた一生の思い出確定盤。ジョンなんか3カテゴリーに分かれてのランクインだもんな。　

youtube

さて2021年。あと3か月しかない。今年はやる？やらない？いろいろ越えるべきものが多くすぎてそれ以前の問題かもしれないなけど。

youtube

【TECHNO / HOUSE / (NU)DISCO / ELECTRONICS】 ★★★THE COLOURS THAT RISE / Grey Doubt ★★THE COLOURS THAT RISE / 2020 EP（2017） ★★THEO PARRISH / Wuddaji ★★Machinedrum / A View of U ★Kuniyuki Takahashi / Flying Music EP ★Oneohtrix Point Never / Magic Oneohtrix Point Never ★VLADISLAV DELAY / Rakka ★LUKE SLATER / berghain fünfzehn ★Jayda G / Both of Us / Are U Down EP ★TSHA / Flowers EP ★DISCLOSURE / Energy ��DARKSTAR / Civic Jams ★Chari Chari / We Hear the Last Decades Dreaming ★HUNEE / Boiler Room : an hour with HUNEE（DJ Mix） ★Autechre / SIGN Arca / @@@@@ BURIAL / Chemz FOUR TET / Sixteen Oceans JAMES BLAKE / Before EP GLOBAL COMMUNICATION / Transmissions Sampler JOHN FRUSCIANTE / Maya TRICKFINGER / She Smiles Because She Presses the Button EP TRICKFINGER / Look Down, See Us EP 60 Miles / Swamp 2 Sea EP EARTH TRAX / LP1 EARTH TRAX / LP2 BIG YAWN / No! HIATT dB / Palimpsest EP GL / You Read My Mind DJ SOFA / Elsewhere Junior I - a Collection of Cosmic Children’s Song Mr President / One Night feat.Celia Kameni & Cindy Pooch J.A.K.A.M. / ASTRAL DUB WORX Inner Science / Made パソコン音楽クラブ / Ambience EP LOCUSSOLUS / Locussolus（Expanded） Various Artists / South DAN KYE / Small Moments OFF THE MEDS / Off The Meds BASSO / Proper Sunburn - Forgotten Sunscreen Applied By Basso（2019） Copenema / Dexia a Musica Tocar（2019） Seahawks / Eyes of the Moon（2019） Jayda G / Significant Changes（2019） MMM / Que Barbaro（2013）

【HIPHOP / R&B / BEATS / FUNK】 ★★★EDDIE CHACON / Outside（Laraaji Remix） ★★EDDIE CHACON / Pleasure, Joy and Happiness ★★Lil Narnia / Pain Extract ★★VHOOR / Baile & Sauce ★AG CLUB / Halfway Off the Porch ★MAC MILLER / Circles ★THUNDRCAT / It Is What It Is ★WILMA ARCHER / A Western Circular ★OXP, ONRA & POMRAD / Swing Convention ★DJ KRUSH / TRICKSTER ★BENEDEK / Bene’s World（2017） JOHN CARROLL KIRBY / High feat.Eddie Chacon & Nailah Hunter THE WEEKND / After Hours DRAKE / Dark Lane Demo Tapes POP SMOKE / Shoot for the Stars Aim for the Moon IVAN AVE / DOUBLE GOODBYES MOSES SUMNEY / græ PETER COTTON TALE / CATCH NNAMDI / BRAT Yves Tumor / Heaven Ta a Toutured Mind Teebs / Ardour（10th Anniversary Edition） Wajatta / Don’t Let Get You Down Lapalux / Esrevoinma EP Kutmah / New Appliance THE HELIOCENTRICS / Telemetric Sounds VULFPECK / The Joy of Music, The Job of Real Estate JOHN CARROLL KIRBY / Lazzara（2019） Various Artists / Kutmah presents : Sketchbook Radio Archives, Vol.1（2018） Invisibl Skratch Piklz / The 13th Foor（2016） D-STYLES / Phantazagorea（2002）

【JAZZ（the New Chapter） / WORLD】 ★★★MANSUR BROWN / Tesuto ★★★JOHN CARROLL KIRBY / My Garden ★★KAMASI WASHINGTON / Harmony of Difference EP（2017） ★JOHN CARROLL KIRBY / Love Theme ★MANSUR BROWN / Shiroi ★JEFF PARKER / Suite for Max Brown ★CHICAGO UNDERGROUND QUARTET / Good Days ★TOM MISCH & YUSSEF DAYES / What Kinda Music ★KAMAAL WILLIAMS / Wu Hen ★ROB MAZUREK & EXPLODING STAR ORCHESTRA / Dimentional Stardust: ★ORLANDO LE FLEMING / Romantic Funk : The Unfamiliar ★SAM WILKES / WILKES（2019） ★YUSSEF KAMAAL / Black Focus（2016） ★ZSOFIA BOROS / Local Objects（2016） JYOTI & GEORGIA ANNE MULDROW / Mama, You Can Bet! BUTCHER BROWN / #KingButch BRAXTON COOK / Fire Sign PAT METHENY / From This Place Fabiano do Nascimento / Preludio SAM GENDEL / Satin Doll SAM GENDEL / Pass If Music（2018） SAM WILKES / Live on the Green（2019） BRANDON COLEMAN / Resistance（2018） KIEFER / Superbloom（2019）鈴木良雄 / モーニング・ピクチャー（1984）鈴木良雄 / ウイングス（1987） JOHN EBERSON, BJ0RNAR ANDRESEN, PAAL NILSSEN-LOVE / Mind the Gap（2001）

【（INDIE）ROCK / （INDIE） POP / SSW】 ★★★EL MICHELS AFFAIR / Reasons feat.Bobby Oroza ★★EL MICHELS AFFAIR / Adult Themes ★★THE FLAMING LIPS / American Head ★★SUFJAN STEVENS / The Ascension ★★FLEET FOXES / Shore ★★COLDPLAY / Everyday Life（2019） ★★RY X / Unfurl（2019） ★★THE WAR ON DRUGS / Lost in the Dream（2014） ★PHOEBE BRIDGERS / Copycat Killer feat. ROB MOOSE - EP ★Mk.gee / A Museum of Contradiction ★PEEL DREAM MAGAZINE / Agitprop Alterna ★BLAKE MILLS / Mutable Set ★THE STROKES / The New Abnormal ★CHS / Jungle Sauna（2019） ★KINDNESS / Something Like A War（2019） ★〝Blue〟Gene Tyranny & Peter Gordon / Trust In Rock（2019） ★STATE RIVER WIDENING / Early Music（2003） BIBIO / Sleep On The Wing Jonsi / Shiver JEFF TWEEDY / Love Is The King REAL ESTATE / The Main Thing ANIMAL COLLECTIVE / Bridge to Quite LITTLE DRAGON / New Me . Same us JAGA JAZZIST / Pyramid TAME IMPAlA / The Slow Rush TRAVIS / 10 Songs SORRY / 925 JOSEPH OF MERCURY / WAVE Ⅱ Khruangbin / Mordechai Various Artists / Hiding From the Landlord HOWLING / Colure DEVENDRA BANHART / Ma（2019） LANA DEL REY / Norman Fucking Rockwell（2019） DAVE GROHL / Play（2018） CRITERIA / En Garde（2003）

【PUNK / HEAVEY / EXTREAM】 ★★envy / The Fallen Crimson ★★lang / There is no reply, but sweet wind blew（2018） ★envy / LAST WISH（Live at Liquidroom Tokyo） ★SLIFT / UMMON ★HORSE LORDS / The Common Task ★coriky / coriky ★Sans Visage, Look at moment / Split Single ★Sans Visage / moments（2017） ★LIGHTNING BOIL / Sonic Citadel（2019） ★Harvey Milk / Courtesy and Good Will Toward Men（2006） DEFTONES / Ohms Converge / Endless Arrow JESU / Terminus JESU / Never JESU / Ascension（Delux） KRUELTY / A Dying Truth XIBALBA / Anos En Infierno Various Artists / Speedy Wunderground Year 4（2019） RUSSIAN CIRCLE / Russian Circle Audiotree Far Out（2019） EARTH / Live at Third Man Records（2017） THE ARMED / Only Love（2018） THE ARMED / Untitled（2015）

【AMBIENT / NEW AGE / DRONE / MINIMAL MUSIC / EXPERIMENTAL】 ★★JOHN CARROLL KIRBY / Conflict ★★Dukes of Chutney / Hazel ★HEATHERED PEARLS / Cast ★SAM PREKOP / Comma BING & RUTH / Species FRANKIE REYES / Originalitos IAN WILLIAM CRAIG / Red Sun Through Smoke WINDY & CARL / Allegiance and Conviction JONNY NASH & SUZANNE KRAFT / A Heart So White JOHN CARROLL KIRBY / Tuscany（2019） JOHN CARROLL KIRBY / Meditation In Music（2018） JOHN CARROLL KIRBY / Travel（2017） ALEXANDER RISHAUG / Shadow of Events（2011）【CLASSIC / OST】 ★LUDWIG GORANSSON / Tenet OST ★JOHN WILLIAMS / Double Trouble ※from OST of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban（2004） DUSTIN O'HALLORAN / Ammonite OST KAMASI WASHINGTON / Becoming（Music from the Netflix Original Documentary） DUSTIN O'HALLORAN / Lumiere（2011） BETH GIBBONS, The Polish National Radio Symphony Orchestra & Krzysztof Penderecki / Henryk Gorecki: Symphony No.3（2019） ANTONI WIT, Polish National Radio Symphony Orchestra(Katowice) & Polish Choir of Krakow / Henryk Gorecki: Symphony No.2（2001） ZSOFIA BOROS / Local Objects（2016）【DOMESTIC（without HIPHOP）】 ★★★METAFIVE / 環境と心理 ★★GEZAN / 狂（KLUE） ★★downy / 第七作品集「無題」 ★★岡村靖幸 / 操 ★★崎山蒼志 / ソフト　※FEVER LIVE ver. on YouTube ★★SILENT POETS / dawn（2018） ★WOZNIAK / Vegetable Home Run ★Ai Aso / The Faintest Hint ★jan and naomi / YES ★mei ehara / Ampersands ★ディーン・フジオカ / Neo Dimension ★LUNA SEA / Make a vow ★坂本慎太郎 / 好きっていう気持ち / おぼろげナイトクラブ ★Cuushe / Waken ★sassya- / 脊髄（2019） ★小袋成彬 / Piercing（2019） ★She Her Her Hers / stereochrome（2014） WOZNIAK / Lost WOZNIAK / Double Face mouse on the keys / Arche 5kai / Untitled #2 KAN SANO / Susanna Ovall / Ovall（2019） mabanua / Blurred（2018） D.A.N. / Aechma ふさえ / そのまま相馬智行 & 鳴海徹朗 / 春の闇 jan and naomi / Neutrino 王舟 / Pulchra Ondo 春ねむり / LOVETHEISM 井出健介と母船 / Contact From Exne Kedy And The Poltergeists（エクスネ・ケディと騒がしい幽霊からのコンタクト）吉田一郎不可触世界 / えぴせし岡田拓郎 / Morning Sun blgtz / Feature EP Coff / Tiny Music（2019）【DOMESTIC（HIPHOP）】 ★★DJ CHARI & DJ TATSUKI / GOLDEN ROUTE ★★Weny Dacillo / Hapitable Hotel ★Hideyoshi / Dead End Adventure ★GG UJIHARA / WEAKNESS EP（2018） ★DJ CHARI & DJ TATSUKI / Time feat.Yo-Sea & KEIJU（2019） ★GG UJIHARA / WEAKNESS EP（2018） KOHH / worst KEIJU / T.A.T.O. Sauce81 / S8100 MARTER / Weltraumasthetik 2020 Normcore Boyz / MEDIAGE なみちえ / 毎日来日徳利 / REVOLUTION starscream & Page Hiiragi / Ghost(s) DJ CHARI / GAME（2019） YOUNG HASTLE & GG UJIHARA / YOUNG UJIHARA EP（2019） Weny Dacillo / AMPM EP（2017）

#tulaladd2020best

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psychedaleka · 4 years

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god does not play dice with the universe (but he does play pranks) (vii)

read on ao3!

Hallmark movie Melkor/Mairon/Celebrimbor.

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for @tolkiencrackweek

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Starring:

Mairon Artáno, overworked engineer at Angband Enterprises, originally from the small town of Valinor. Engaged to his boss, Melkor Bauglir.

Melkor Bauglir, CEO of Angband, estranged from his family.

Aulë Artáno, father of Mairon, Manwë Sulimo’s best friend.

Manwë Súlimo, mayor of Valinor, father of Eonwë, Melkor’s fraternal twin.

Eönwë Súlimo, Mairon’s ex boyfriend.

Celebrimbor Finwion, grandson of the deceased genius Feanor, civil engineer to be fixated on restoring Valinor as a lively small town.

So: Mairon is engaged to Melkor, and very much in love with him despite the significant age gap and fact that Melkor’s his boss.

A few days before Christmas, his estranged father Aulë calls him in a panic: Mairon’s teen brother Curumo has gone missing.

Mairon’s never gotten along with his father, but he remembers the younger brother who’s always looked at him with hero worship in his eyes.

So Mairon packs his bags, kisses Melkor goodbye, and returns home to Valinor.

His homecoming isn’t quite as pleasant as he’d hoped: he gets into an argument with Aulë almost immediately after he gets off the train—it’s your responsibility to look after your own son—and Mairon storms off into the night.

He hasn’t been home for years, and it’s changed more than he thought: Valinor had been a vibrant town then, fuelled by traffic from the highway. It had been bustling with activity, people walking through the streets, buildings lit up with signs and goods, a festival or special event seemingly happening every week.

But ever since the new highway was built, fewer and fewer people have been coming—and so many have been moving away. Lúthien’s son, for one, and his fashion company, and all his family and their employees—now gone. Shops and buildings are abandoned, storefronts left decrepit with nothing more than shelves of dust, flickering, poorly maintained lights. New roads were built, then abandoned to potholes and weeds, and old roads went out of use.

Valinor’s not a big place—it never has been—but with the new town layered over that in Mairon’s memories like a palimpsest, is it any surprise he gets lost?

A blizzard starts, and Mairon, still wearing his business formal, is ill prepared—he’d left all his luggage with Aulë, phone included.

He has no choice but to knock on the first door he sees: the house of one Celebrimbor Finwion, civil engineer.

Mairon’s not familiar with the Finwions—they lived a little north, in the community known as Formenos back when there were enough people that Valinor had to be divided into multiple neighbourhoods. He knows Feanor was a genius who had children and died early, and that his son Curufin had followed in his footsteps (except for the dying part).

Fëanor—Aulë’s contemporary—had a grandson a few years younger than Mairon.

Celebrimbor is in his house, still working despite the late hour—much to Mairon’s surprise and approval. Celebrimbor invites Mairon in—he doesn’t have a phone, since it distracts him from what he’s working on—and they begin to talk.

Mairon is, surprisingly, drawn to the young and ambitious engineer, who wants nothing more than to see Valinor as the lively town of his childhood, back when there was still life and light. Mairon, still in shock over how much has changed in the last decade, vows to help him.

They spend the night in pleasant conversation, and the next day comes but the blizzard doesn’t stop. They talk for the entire day, too, and Mairon’s shocked at how much he has to say to the young engineer. Mairon’s not much of a conversationalist—even a few hours of conversation usually exhausts him—but it’s been much longer and he’s still excited to continue.

The next day, they dig themselves out of the metres of snow, and Mairon returns to Aulë’s house. Yavanna and Aulë are worried sick for him, and they have yet another argument.

Mairon demands how they could claim to care and worry about him when they never seemed to do so during his childhood, leaving him to face the bullies at school and the solitude of years alone.

Aulë, incensed, retorts that he was only trying to save the town, working nearly round the clock in order to bring more business and new people—for Mairon, he might add, to have a future. How could you be so ungrateful, Aulë rages, and Mairon opens his mouth to speak but—

“Stop it!” yells sixteen year old Curumo, standing at the front door. “Why do you have to keep arguing like this? Aren’t we family?”

Curumo, it turns out, had wished every Christmas for his big brother to return home, and now that he’s old enough to not believe in Christmas miracles, decided to take matters into his own hands by running away to a friend of his, Olorin’s house.

Aulë and Yavanna vacate the living room, and Mairon and Curumo have a difficult conversation. Their childhoods were different ones, and they’re different people too, and Curumo’s hero, standing right in front of him, doesn’t exactly live up to his expectations.

Curumo cries. Mairon remains impassive.

The doorbell rings.

It’s Manwë, Aulë’s best friend, and his family—his wife Varda, and their two children Eönwë and Ilmarë. They’re here for lunch, as is traditional, and it’s a tense meal. Manwe doesn’t know what happened, but he and his son try their best to diffuse the tension—they fail.

Mairon volunteers to wash the dishes so he doesn’t have to speak to anyone except—Eönwe offers the same.

They’re in close proximity, and maybe Eönwë’s still not over their break up so long ago, but Mairon feels nothing. Their conversation is stilted, which only makes him long for Melkor—or Celebrimbor, surprisingly.

Problem solved—Curumo found—Mairon prepares to leave. Mairon offers to drive him to the train station, and he accepts.

There, he runs into Celebrimbor, who, disappointed, asks him if he’s leaving.

Yes, Mairon says.

Oh, Celebrimbor says. I thought—well. I know we’ve only known each other for such a short time, but you made me feel as I never have, as though I could tackle whatever problem the world gave me. And I thought you would stay, to help me with Valinor.

A train pulls up. Mairon should leave.

You make me feel the same way, Mairon says. I wish I could help you, but I—I can’t stay here, not with my family like this. There’s too many bad memories here.

We could… make new ones? Celebrimbor suggests.

A pause.

I love you, Celebrimbor blurts.

Silence.

Someone hugs Mairon from behind.

Guess who, says Melkor.

Mairon turns his head, and Melkor kisses him.

It’s your favourite fiance, Melkor says.

You’re my only fiance.

Celebrimbor leaves without another word, and Mairon can’t explain the deep sense of loss in his chest.

Come on, Melkor says, pushing Mairon towards the parking lot. I wanna see how much this town has changed.

Mairon barely has time to process that before—

Melkor? Manwë looks pale, as though he’s seen a ghost. What are you doing here?

As it turns out, they’re fraternal twins—which would explain why Mairon’s never made the connection. Melkor left very early, after graduating high school, desperate to get away from an overbearing father.

Mairon wonders how he’s going to explain this to Eönwë: oh, I’m dating your long lost uncle.

The tension skyrockets.

Manwe and Melkor have a shouting match. Aulë and Melkor have a tense conversation. Aulë tries to lecture Mairon on his romantic choices. Explaining to Eönwë is as awkward as he thought.

Celebrimbor is nowhere to be found.

Mairon, hesitantly, mentions Celebrimbor to Melkor.

Huh, he says, I had a crush on Fëanor when we were in school. If you—we—were to date him, I’d feel like I was robbing the cradle.

Christmas Eve is spent in awkward tension.

Christmas Day comes. Outside, everything is covered in snow. Inside, everyone is in surprisingly good spirits.

There’s a bit of Christmas magic in the air, after all.

Mairon talks to his family, and no one gets mad. There’s too many years and burnt bridges and things done—or not done—for them to make up, just like that, but it’s a start.

Manwë and Melkor talk. They’re older now, no longer teenagers, and with the years in between—and Eru dead—they can talk about it, now, their shared childhood, everything that was and no longer is.

All that’s missing is Celebrimbor.

A knock at the door.

I came to say, Celebrimbor says—

Whatever you have to say, no need, Mairon says. I care for you. And I’m hardly strictly monogamous, after all.

Celebrimbor is hesitant, but willing to try to make things work. They, none of them, know what’s going to happen, but it’s worth a shot.

You wouldn’t happen to know where Fëanor hid his jewels, would you? Melkor asks.

Celebrimbor doesn’t. But Maedhros does. And Melkor remembers the caves where they came from, filled with rock structures and glittering stone, like a glistening spray of stars against dark sky, enough to take anyone’s breath away.

This is it, Celebrimbor says. This is how we save Valinor.

And so, maybe they do get their happy ending. It’s not an easy path, no, filled with arguments and negotiations and tears, but it’s better than another world they don’t know, one where Feanor’s jewels nearly destroy Valinor instead of save it.

But in this universe, where Christmas has some power after all, there can be more laughter than tears, and the only rings Mairon creates are wedding rings—three of them.

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jq37 · 4 years

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The Report Card – Fantasy High Sophomore Year Ep 18

Brennan Lee Mulligan Fight Me IRL (subtitle: Is This Allowed?)

***A proclamation: Non-Adaine Abernants have no rights (and no consistent canon name spellings) so, henceforth, I will be spelling their names however the hell I want.***

Yeah I don’t have any preamble this week, let’s just do this.

We rejoin our table (which Ally is very noticeably absent from) with Fabian just having seen Kristen stabbed through by the skeletal unicorn. He runs out to get the rest of the Bad Kids but, when he comes back, there’s a mirror showing the room instead of a passageway into it. He shatters the mirror, which doesn’t help the situation at all.

Fig takes advantage of the souped up illusion magic in the forest and uses Phantasmal Force on herself to create an illusion of a door that she can walk through. She, however, realizes that she’s not being taken into the same place that Kristen’s body was and gets out of there ASAP. Meanwhile, Gorgug takes down the wall and they’re able to get into the room.

Once in the room, they find a human skeleton clutching shattered pieces of stone in its hands, which Adaine does the Identify Spell on--it’s St. Kristen Applebees, who’s been dead for 850 years (850 years ago is when the last Sylvan War happened, just FYI). Fabian can tell the room is very different than when he was in it last, like it’s been shut up with a dead body for 850 years. The skeleton is also weird. The posture and joints are wrong and it seems like it was decaying during life as well. Gorgug looks at the stone shards the skeleton is holding and sees that they’re broken pieces of an image of a face, but the freaky thing is it’s not all the same face. And the faces resemble their own.

So, across the board, troubling stuff.

Adaine casts Locate Creature on the unicorn and senses that it’s moving into the forest (which is in conflict to where they see its hoofprints leading). Riz does an insight check and is convinced that this isn’t a situation that can be solved with logic. This is some straight Alice in Wonderland BS that can only be endured, not solved. There’s only one thing to do. Take a ton of drugs and go through their personal hells to save Kristen. The group, filled with trepidation and determination, agrees. Fig offers to cast Fear on everyone to make things easier. (She also takes her hair down because she is a rock star who understands when to do things for maximum drama). Adaine dismisses Boggy and gets rid of her Anxiety meds. Fabian gets rid of his fear-cancelling eyepatch. Fig and Adaine want everyone to be tied to each other but Riz thinks this is something they absolutely have to do alone and they reluctantly agree. Everyone comes together in the last moment before they put themselves through this ordeal. I believe in you. Spring Break.

Then Riz takes off, before they can even do the drugs. His biggest fear is not having a plan so it’s the best he can think to do to give in to fear. Riz tries to follow the unicorn, getting torn at by branches and briars as he goes, hands suddenly bleeding (as if digging through a palimpsest), and he stops when he finds a sliver of silver mirror. Let’s do some D20 math. Riz+Mirror. What does that equal? That’s right. We knew this was coming. It’s the return of Baron from the Baronees!

Baron appears and says that Riz made him up because he was scared. What was he scared of? Riz says he’s scared of being wrong and hurting his friends but Baron says that that’s not why he lied. He lied because of his anxiety over all of the rest of his friends getting into romantic relationships and leaving him behind. They don’t care about him. They only keep him around because he’s useful for mystery solving. Baron shows his images of his friends with their respective love interests and Riz, ever logical even when he’s trying not to be, sees Ragh with Fefethriel (he also has no rights so I’m not looking up how to spell that) who he knows Ragh doesn’t like and clings to that as a sign that this isn’t all real. Baron continues to twist the knife. Riz isn’t like his friends. He’s not like his parents. And he’s not a good detective because, if he was, he wouldn't let himself get so easily distracted. Riz finds he’s no longer in the forest. He’s trapped in a world of mirrors.

“OK,” says Brennan. “Let’s go down the line. What are all of you afraid of?”

“Oh Boy,” I say, knowing this is going to be a bitch both to watch and try to coherently recap.

Their answers are as follows:

Gorgug: Impostor Syndrome and the fact that he’s already died once which calls into question the reality of everything after that.

Adaine: Failure and loss of control

Fig: Fig has a whole laundry list of fears. Gilear being dead, Ayda being dead and coming back as a baby, being a fraud that will wear out her welcome and be discarded, not being able to save her friends

Fabian: Helplessness and ending up as Yogurt Fabian

Everything starts to go to hell at once.

Gorgug’s crystal pings. It’s a message from Skrank saying that it’s dope that he and Zelda got back together and he’s happy Gorgug is being so cool about it. Gorgug just turns his crystal off but then, he’s hit with the realization that his life just doesn’t really add up. He’s a rockstar with a girlfriend who saved the world from a dragon with his friends? Come on. That’s a little far-fetched. And then, Bam! Adaine has to roll for a panic attack. For the first time ever, she fails on a 4 and begins to shut down. She fights the panic attack, even though she knows she needs to experience fear to get to the center of the forest and she’s able to...but finds herself outside of the briar wall, alone. She tries to Misty Step back in, but she can’t. She’s stuck.

At about the same time but a few seconds earlier as Fig is casting Fear, Fig is caught between her two main fears: being a fraud and not being able to save her friends. But Brennan, the evil genius, says that it occurs to Fig that the fact that she even had the thought of her self image while her friends were in danger means that her main concern is a shallow one and that she is a fraud. A cool, confident copy of Fig--the rockstar image she tries to project--splits from her body, tells the real Fig to stay down, and Fig is frozen to the ground.

Fabian just straight disappears. Not from the room like Adaine. From history. All his friends forget about him and are unable to see him. The Bad Kids were always comprised of 5 Members. There is no war in Ba Sing Se.

The Illusion of Fig says she’s going to find Riz and Adaine and she poofs out, leaving Gorgug and Fabian alone in the room. But Gorgug can’t see Fabian. He doesn’t even remember Fabian exists. As far as he can tell, he’s been left alone. Abandoned. He tries to anchor himself with a bone he took from Kristen’s skeleton earlier and then heads off to try to find Riz. Fabian tries to call out to Gorgug, or hold him back but Gorgug doesn’t hear him and he finds he can’t physically affect him in any way. Fabian decides to let him go. He just sits. With everyone gone (including Baby who left with Fig’s double), Fig is suddenly able to move again. She calls out to her friends and, hearing no response, goes towards the woods.

OK, that was a lot and it just gets wilder from here. I’m going to try to present this as coherently as possible by splitting up what happens to everyone rather than intercutting the scenes like in the episode.

Gorgug

Gorgug travels until the forest becomes impassable. Then, he finds a tunnel under the roots of the tree that’s super tight. He can get through but just barely and he for sure can’t get out the way he came. It's littered with leaves and bugs and Gorgug is pretty claustrophobic. Still, he steels himself and starts dragging himself through. It’s scary as hell but he knows the fear is leading him in the right direction and with a 21 Acrobatics, he gets through.

Once on the other side, he takes out the recording stone he made earlier and records himself saying, “It’s Gorgug. Keep going,” as a message for anyone who might come this way. The message Care Bear Stare reverberates through the forest and all of his friends feel a spot of encouragement that they’re doing the right thing.

But Gorgug finds himself in the worst room for a low Int party member to be in alone. He’s in a puzzle room with a dick of a Sphinx who says Gorgug has to solve this puzzle or the Sphinx will eat him. The Sphinx says he’ll help (which will lower the DC of solving the puzzle) but every time he helps, he’ll give Gorgug some true but hurtful information. He has unlimited tries but once he starts he can’t stop.

Gorgug tries and fails (just barely). He asks for help. The Sphinx then shows Gorgug a vision of himself as a baby with his younger parents and all of his aunts and uncles. Gorgug doesn’t really know his extended family. Turns out, that’s because they were all hella racist about Gorgug being adopted so Digby and Wilma cut them all out of their lives. He created a rift in the family. He tries two more times. Both failures. The Sphinx begins to prowl and stalk him.

Gorgug realizes that the scariest thing to him is to admit that he’s too stupid to figure this out and he says, “I’m a dumbass. Eat me you stupid bug.”

The puzzle spontaneously solves itself. The sphinx leaps at Gorgug but vanishes into bugs before it can reach. The door opens and he can walk through.

Riz

Riz takes comfort in the images of his friends around him (even though they’re all of awkward romantic moments) and says that no matter what Baron is saying, he knows his friends care about him. Kristen could have cured herself, but she cured him. They may call him The Ball, but now he’s friends with the bully who made up that nickname. He might not be super close with Penny who he worked so hard to save, but that’s OK because they just run in different circles. He feels secure with his role as Little Shrimp of the Bad Kids.

The mirrors shatter. Baron vanishes. Care Bear Stare.

Riz sees tracks of the unicorn going off in another direction and he feels very confident that he can follow them and find it. He also sees a really cozy bed.

“Is my greatest fear sleeping on the job?” he says. “I’m so lame.”

Still, he bravely gets in snuggles down (to the outrage of Lou, who we’ll get to next actually).

Fabian

Fabian gets up after feeling the spark of hope from Gorgug and starts moving deeper into the forest. Unfortunately, his friends may have forgotten about him but you know who hasn’t? Chungle-Down Bim who is in the forest, feral, and still chomping at the bit to shit in Fabian’s mouth. Fabian runs like hell into a cave to hide where he is met with his other worst nightmare, the SEXY RAT FROM FRESHMAN YEAR--now human sized--who gives away his hiding place.

After running for a bit longer, he takes a deep breath, lays down and--for the good of the party--decides to subject himself to what the forest has decided are his two worst fears apart from being forgotten: having his mouth shit in by Chungle-Down Bim and being fucked by a sexy rat.

Insane but Bam. Care Bear Stare.

The ground opens up and swallows him. He’s falling in darkness, just like in his nightmare from episode 1 (which I finally looked up, just in time it turns out). He hears Cathilda’s voice: If he’s his own new man, then will he be extraordinary? Will he write his name on the face of the Earth? Fabian senses a trap but he answers. He doesn’t know what he’ll be but he likes the direction he’s going. He doesn’t care where he ends up, because he likes where he is. And he doesn’t care if he writes his name on the face of the Earth because he’ll be with the bad kids.

Gorgug, in the room that the door opens up to, suddenly sees something crash through the ceiling and Fabian--who he now remembers--is in the room with him. Fabian hugs him immediately--something he’s never done before.

And, for the trouble of that ordeal, Brennan lets them reroll their lowest ability scores with 4d6 (unless it’s lower than what they already have or higher than they want it for story reasons).

Fig

On Fig’s way out of the temple, she sees a placid pool of water which has a carving of an eye being pried open above it. She can tell the pool is magical and she dips her feet into it, being consciously reckless. The pool is body temperature, which is unsettling, and it asks her whose dreams she wants to see.

She first tries Aelwyn but gets nothing because elves are weird to scry on dream-wise since they trance. Then, she tries Kristen and sees the image of a huge woman (like mountain huge) clutching her scalp and screaming as a storm rages around her, striking her with lightning and destroying her in some crazy act of magic. Yikes. She scoops up some pool water to take with her.

She tries to scry on Ayda, sees the same place Adaine saw when she did it earlier, and tries to Dimension Door there. It doesn’t work and she just ends up in some random place in the woods, hopelessly lost. As she walks, she comes across an elven village covered in spiderwebs and cocoons. Fig finds a griffon feather and then sees an old woman who is only partially cocooned. She wakes her up and asks what’s going on. Does she need help? Yeah, she could use help getting home. Fig asks where she lives. That’s easy. 22 Hilda Street; 22 Hilda Boulevard BAYBEE!

Hilda-Hilda and her MASSIVE dog start to attack Fig (who was EXPLICITLY WARNED THIS MIGHT HAPPEN and told this insane lie anyway) and she books it out of there. As she runs, she is frozen and magically bound again. Her double walks out of the forest to taunt her some more. She asks what will happen once her rock star persona wears off and Ayda sees the real her?

“I hope that she finds something I didn’t know was there.”

Boom. Care Bear Stare.

But Fig isn’t free. In fact, the bindings on her turn to marionette strings and she finds herself being dragged behind her double. Fig tries to make some illusion scissors to cut herself free but it doesn’t work. She’s reminded of the dream she had in the first episode of having fame and power and wanting a crown and any confidence she has leaves her as she remembers the times she’s been possessed in the past. Her double asks her why she wanted a crown so badly and Fig says it wasn’t her. It was whoever mind controlled her. Isn’t there a part of her that wants a crown though? Fig says what she’s interested in isn’t the crown. It's being able to control her self-image. Her double tightens her puppet strings which is heart clenching but Fig knows that means she’s going the right way.

They end up walking past the place where Ayda is and Fig yells at her double to help her--she may be a twisted version of her but she’s still a part of her so she should still have a crush on Ayda. The scrying water Fig took heats up and turns to steam and, within the steam, she can see what Ayda is experiencing: Previous incarnations of herself, screaming at her to do better and be better. She sees that, in Ayda’s memories, she spent a lot of time being confused and feeling inadequate and Fig was one of the first people to be patient with her and explain things to her. Ayda’s doubles taunt her and say there’s no rational world where someone as awesome as Fig (the real Fig, the Fig in Ayda’s memories is the real one, not the glamorous idealized one that has Fig hostage) would find a single redeemable quality in her.

Ayda says, quietly to herself, that just because she hasn’t found any worthwhile qualities in herself, doesn’t mean someone as brilliant as Fig can’t.

Fig suddenly finds herself somewhere far away, bound between trees right next to Riz who is still napping.

Brennan gives them the same offer to boost a score--Wisdom since they both got through their trials with Wisdom based solutions.

Adaine

Adaine, also upon feeling the spark of hope from Gorgug, thinks that there has to be more going on than it seems so she takes off her jacket, leaves her orb, closes her eyes and starts walking. As she walks, it feels like days are passing. She doesn’t trip or fall but she takes slashing damage from the trees around her (still in the forest, regardless of how it appeared).

Eventually, she finds herself at the edge of a cliff that drops off into ocean. Ocean like the previous Oracle drowned in. Ocean like in the dream she saw herself drowning in at the start of the season. She sees someone standing near her but she doesn’t give them the time of day. She simply steps off into the open air and starts plummeting down.

As she does, she sees that the figure--the same figure that was in the tent with her that she didn’t look at way back when--is of an older version of herself in a black mourning dress.

She starts drowning and she wants to try and solve the situation but, like Riz, she realizes that this isn’t something she can solve. She can only fight which she does, refusing to give up (which would be less scary). She suddenly finds herself not drowning in the ocean, but in an orb surrounded by people as Biz Glitterdew dressed like a Carnival Barker tells people to step right up and see the amazing Elven Oracle. She’s surrounded by people she doesn’t know how to help. She can’t even help herself.

As she’s in the orb, she hears the voice of the future version of her from the cliff. She’s always been clever. She did everything right. This is her last chance to speak with her if she wants to. Adaine asks why she doesn’t have friends now. She’s hit with the reality she must know on some level already. She’s an elf. Her friends all have naturally shorter lifespans. Her future self has all these answers but the one thing she doesn’t know (much like Will in that one episode of Fresh Prince) is why she was so easily discarded by her parents. Are they unlovable? Our Adaine doesn’t know either. Maybe some things don’t have answers. Future Adaine asks if she ever wonders if the kindness from her friends is a reflection of their goodness and not her worthiness. God, yes, Every day. “But I know that my friends do love me so maybe there’s hope for us yet,” she says, voice heartbreakingly tremulous.

Care Bear Stare.

Her double gives her a second and then says that as valid as that hope is, she needs to let it go, at least for now, to get to where she needs to get to.

She lets it go.

Adaine finds that she’s no longer in an orb filled with water. She’s in a prison orb in the heart of the forest surrounded by her family (hard air quotes around family). Her mom has summoned her. Aelwyn won’t look at her and is just staring at the floor, totally dejected. Anguin is there too, one eye busted and one arm in a sling. He’s PISSED. Arianwyn is still marked with curse wounds and Adaine doesn’t see the crown on her anywhere. She says it’s good to see Adaine, but Adaine’s not buying it. She Messages Aelwyn: Are you OK? What’s going on? Aelwyn says for once in her life, just do what their parents ask. Please. (She actually says please! Concerning!)

Arianwyn tells Adaine that all her friends are alive and nothing bad will happen to them. She’s not in any trouble. Adaine wants to know why she’d care if she was in trouble with her parents-in-name-only. “Self preservation?” Anguin suggests. Adaine says there’s nothing else they can do to her that’s worse than what they’ve already done so it’s kind of an empty threat. Anguin has something to say about that but his wife stops him and tells Adaine everything is nearly done. Promises were broken, they needed new allies, so they joined up with the Nightmare King. That’s not nearly enough information for Adaine. She wants to know why she’s there.

Arianwyn says that they need Adaine to just tell them what the Bad Kids have been planning so they can stop it and they’ll keep her friends alive. The Court of Stars said they would trade Aelwyn’s freedom for the Crown but, when she delivered it, they broke their promise. “So you bring back the NK?” Adaine asks, incredulously. The Abernants have always been important, Arianwyn says. She has no choice but to restore their tarnished name--the name tarnished partially by Adaine she points out.

Adaine wonders how they got to the center of the forest and faced all their fear while still being so craven. Aelwyn expresses surprise that Adaine didn’t just use a Duskmoss ritual the way they did. But she still made it, and Wiser than all of the rest of them. (Speaking of, here, Brennan gives her the same opportunity to boost her lowest score; hope she rolls 4 sixes and boosts her strength score).

Tearfully, Arianwyn says that she doesn't know how to make Adaine believe in the family. To make her more like Aelwyn. Adaine says she's been so cruel and loveless to her her entire life. Why would she suddenly start believing in the family now? Arianwyn seems confused. She’s been very loving. And Adaine sees that she truly believes that. She had no self awareness at all.

Arianwyn continues to try and get Adaine on her side but Adaine rebuffs her, citing her earlier cruelty. “Love without expectation what is that?” Arianwyn says. “What is expectation without love?” Adaine counters, echoing her previous words.

Arianwyn decides she doesn’t have time for this conversation and she doesn’t want to get upset in front of Adaine. She takes Killian (who is also there btw) and leaves. Once she’s gone, Anguin says that, when this is all over, he’s going to figure out a way to “fix” her permanently and his hands crackle threateningly with magic.

We leave her there.

Riz wakes up and he and Fig make sure that the other is alright. Then, they hear the sound of hoofbeats and see the skeletal unicorn approach them. They sense a growing malevolence from the forest.

Meanwhile, Fabian and Gorgug travel deeper into a tunnel off the room they both found themselves in and see that it leads to an endless ocean of mist from which huge islands of rock topped with forest jut out. They can sense that their friends are close.

“Spring break?” says Fabian.

“Spring break,” Says Gorgug.

And that’s it for the session!

Can’t wait for next episode to start with 30 minutes of Kristen being retroactively subjected to this same caliber of absolute nonsense just when I’ve recovered from this!

Detention

Arianwyn for Gothel-ing it Up

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You hate to see it. You truly hate to see it.

Was really hoping (based on some in-text evidence that I’ve previously discussed but also just wanting it really bad) that Arianwyn was gonna pull through and be not The Worst but it turns out she still mega sucks, just in a different direction than Anguin.

I will say that we’re in the Nightmare forest of Lies so it’s possible we’re being lied to in some respect and I will glady eat my words if I have to later but, idk y’all, It felt pretty real to me.

Dishonorable mention to Anguin for threatening to mind-break Adaine which is horrific but we been knew he needs to get put down.

Honor Roll

Gorgug for Sparking Hope

Gorgug is truly just the goodest boy. I really had no idea that him dropping that rock was going to do anything. In fact, I thought it was a dumb idea because nothing about the way things were set up made me think anyone else would come his way. It all seemed pretty individualized.

Maybe that occurred to him. Maybe it didn’t.

But one thing that for sure occurred to him was that he wanted to help his friends in any way that he could so he tried and it worked and it helped.

Gorgug really is the very best of what the Bad Kids stand for. Spot well earned.

Random Thoughts

Brennan name dropped Kitty Pryde in this episode so I'm gonna give y'all a fun fact. I was a big fan of X-Men Evolution as a kid. In fact, it's still my fave piece of X-Men media to date (or, at worst, a veeery close second to the OG and TAS adaptation of the Phoenix saga). Anyway, Spyke in that cartoon at least once refers to Kitty as K-Girl and every time I call Kristen that, that's where I'm getting it from.

Riz re: The Bardy Boys: As long as you investigate and and have a song in your heart you are a Bardy Boy. (If I was in charge of D20 merch, this would be the t-shirt for the ep for sure)

I gotta give major props to Brennan for how he ran this episode. I was so curious about how it would work and I had absolute faith in him of course--he’s never disappointed with individualized encounters--but he just knocked it out of the park.

Kristen having all the revivify diamonds Concerns me, even though I guess she is the only one who could cast it I think (besides Tracker).

Siobhan: Keep crunching. Great practice for that die later.

Ayda really stabbed me in the heart this episode. Brennan tried to murder me and Ayda was the weapon he used. The esteem that Ayda holds Fig in after such a short period of time is so sweet, as is how completely reciprocated it is. You know that “same hat, same hat!” Meme? That’s them, but also with their trauma.

Interesting that, to Adaine, fighting and not giving up is the scariest thing but to Riz, going to sleep and not continuing is what’s scary. Especially since they’re so similar.

Of course, the bed could be going to sleep and being possessed but I don’t think he’s scared of that now that his money is gone.

Some INSANE stuff happened re: Kristen this episode but it barely is even a footnote compared to everything else that happened. Isn’t that wild? Isn’t it wild that Kristen is apparently a Saint that has been dead for 850 years now and we’re not talking about that? Is this gonna be one of those weird time loop things where Kristen comes to find out that she’s actually been a part of this story the whole time?

Thank you Brennan for the emotional breaks of Fabian’s Loony Tunes antics and the return of Hilda-Hilda.

Anguin is still busted up from the fight with the Bad Kids which confused me until I remembered, oh yeah. Wizards don’t get heals. That’s why you diversify your party comp BI-YATCH.

I wonder what the true nature of the forest is. Most of the figures we saw in it were fully hostile but Adaine’s future self wasn’t. Just kinda sad. Of course, that is probably the better tactic to break Adaine since if something is openly hostile to her, she just tries to hit it.

What happened to Aelwyn since the last time we saw her? Clearly, all is not well. Intestinal distress aside, she was fine the last time she actually interacted with the Bad Kids and the last time we saw her via scry there was nothing obviously wrong with her. One thing that I noticed at the time but didn’t bring up because it wasn’t relevant then was that Brennan specifically said that she was wearing wood elf clothing while Arianwyn was wearing “Deep elf” clothing. In the art, you can see that she and Anguin are dressed more “nobly” and also that Aelwyn looks not only emotionally defeated but also physically roughed up and dirty. Why would they have her dress as a wood elf, who they clearly see as inferior? Is it pure cruelty? Part of whatever ritual they were doing? I thought for a second it might be to pass her off as a wood elf for something in connection with the mystery goddess but they all look pretty freaking related. Nuathra was able to tell that Adaine was related to Arianwyn and Aelwyn pretty quickly. And, beyond what she looks like, when Adaine spoke to her via message and Aelweyn told her to not make waves, she said please. Aelwyn used the word please. That, to me, is a MAJOR red flag.

And what changed so drastically that it got Arianwyn and Anguin back on the same side? It didn’t seem like they were working together before and Aelwyn, who I don’t think had any reason to lie at the time, also said it point blank.

@camwritery and I were wildly speculating about the Abernants, you know, as you do, and wouldn’t it be wild if the Abernants via prophecy or whatever knew they were going to have a child who would be the Elven Oracle and since elves tend to not have more than one kid (idk if it’s like that in FH but it’s like that in a lot of stuff with elves) they assumed that kid would be Aelwyn which is why she got all the attention and Adaine--a surprise baby in this scenario--got ignored until she was suddenly became relevant to their plans?

We were also talking about how Adaine has basically walked herself right into a worst case scenario by leaving her arcane focus and jacket somewhere in the woods (not to mention getting rid of her familiar and meds). She’s pretty defenseless, which means it would be a *fantastic* time for Aelwyn to grow a spine and do her sister a solid. Like, presumably her friends will be to her soon enough but come on girl! The path to your redemption is right there, just stick the landing! My best case scenario: Anguin tries and fails to do a Detect Thoughts on Adaine to get the information she refuses to give him. He orders Aelwyn to do it. Adaine purposefully fails her save, shows Aelwyn everything she wanted to show her before, and boom. We’re in business.

Last excerpt from that conversation: In the new art, the Abernant’s names are spelled Aelwyn, Angwyn, and Arianwen. First of all that’s nonsense and, as I said earlier, they get no rights. But, assuming that’s correct, interesting that all of their names have the same ending but Aelwyn got her dad’s spelling and not her mom’s.

Why does Arianwyn care so much about the family name? Assuming elves do it like humans (which is a bit of an assumption I’ll admit) it wouldn’t even be her name and line. This is A LOT for a family you married into.

Fig did three low-key things this episode I thought were very sweet. One, she worried about Adaine’s meds. My thought was that she had her jacket so she’d be fine but Fig thought ahead the extra step and was worried Adaine would be too panicked to think about that. Two, upon seeing Baby was with her doppelganger Fig’s main thought was, “Oh good. At least he’s alright.” Three, she begged her doppelganger to stop and help Ayda, trying to appeal to any shared feelings for Ayda, even though she was being straight savage to her. In conclusion, Fig is a huge sweetheart and a lot more forward thinking than her actions would often suggest.

Also, “No one wants to hear the bass play solo”?????? Was that off the top of your head Emily???????????When Zac clutched his chest? I felt that.

Not mechanically important, but Fig’s archdevil pentagram is now an anarchy symbol instead. Rock on.

“Are you afraid to know the truth of your life?”/“Now I am.”

I was SO worried we were gonna hear some bad information about Wilma and Digby but it just turns out that they loved Gorgug so much that they cut all the toxic family members out of their life? You love to see it.

Did this episode give anyone else major Labyrinth vibes?

Gorgug calling the Sphinx, “Mr. Sphinx.” I love him so much.

I saw people talking later about Zelda maybe having cheated on Gorgug but, tbh, the thought that that was real never really crossed my mind. I just assumed it was phone trickery because haven’t we seen phone trickery before? On the other hand, Brennan’s Good Place-esque, “Come on. You’re a popular rockstar who killed a dragon with his friends last year? Does that sound real?” torture of Gorgug was exquisite. Not to mention asking Emily which thing Fig dreads more than turning it in on itself. You could see the “game recognizes game” look in her eyes as he did that.

The moment the Hilda-Hilda sequence started I knew exactly where it was going and it was delicious. Brennan spinning it out, baiting Emily into asking her address, the reveal? *Chef’s Kiss*

Weirdly specific point but in this episode, Fig has water she collected from a magical source boil and burst the container. That’s actually the second time this has happened to Emily, the first time being during Unsleeping City with a flask of water from Em’s fountain.

"My friends were warmer to me when I first met them than you ever have been my whole life." Really can’t wait for Adaine to get to deck her parents. We’re all rooting for you girl.

Awards for shredding my heart this week go to Fig and Adaine. Special awards to Riz for hitting a little too close to home and Brennan for facilitating this torture. I feel like I should also get to reroll my lowest skill with 4d6 for experiencing that.

As an aside, hope everyone is doing OK what with all the craziness going on in the world right now. I’m sure you don’t need another person to tell you to wash your hands and stay inside if you can but I do want to say that distracting yourself is a perfectly valid response to a situation you can’t do anything else about. I’m gonna say, if you’re into theater, check out the Six soundtrack if you haven’t already. It’s a whole bop (with a side of some history). Anyway, stay safe y’all.

This episode, Adaine and Riz each rolled one Nat 1, Gorgug rolled two with one being cancelled out, and no one rolled any Nat 20s because it’s Bad Kid suffering hours baybee.

#fantasy high #dimension 20 #fantasy high spoilers #dimension 20 spoilers #fantasy high live

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jamiebluewind · 4 years

Text

Pok The Nightmare King?

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@skysfallingbaby proposed an interesting concept. "Maybe Pok Gukgak is the Nightmare King". And while this theory make a lot of things a lot more messed up (like trying to use Riz in a sacrifice), it got my theorist senses a tingling.

So, without futher ado, let's get started.

***

First off, What is Pok exactly? We can assume that the Nightmare King doesn't just look like a goblin as he doesn't actually look like any one race when people have tried to describe him. We could guess some kind of magical effect that alters his appearance, but the Nightmare King was also banished (a spell with no time limit outside homebrew rules, unless the spell is not held for a minute or the creature is banished while already on their own plane) and seeing as Pok lived on the material plane for years, he couldn't be the Nightmare King... technically. The thing is, the Nightmare King doesn't have to be there to be there. Ragh's mom was piloting a clone of herself in real time while her real body was unconscious and housed miles underground (possibly in the molten core of the planet). A goblin suit could be piloted by the Nightmare King using the same principles. Even a direct connection to the Nightmare King is established in game via his corrupting influence constantly leaking from his plane of existence into the material plane (specifically in Silvar).

The next question that comes to mind is Why did Kalvaxus eat Pok if they were allied? and to that I say Do we know for sure that he did? What we do know is this...

Kalvaxus taunted that he ate Pok, but he did it in the middle of a battle to throw off Riz.

Kalvaxus would have eaten Pok while bound. Barring being able to enlarge/reduce Pok (and even then, he would only shrink to about the size of a cat), it would have taken a 6 to 7 foot tall dragonborn a WHILE to eat someone 1/2 his height and 1/5 his weight, bones and all (and dragons and dragonborns don't even have the established voracious appetite goblins do).

Riz and Sklonda were told Pok died at sea until Kalvaxus said otherwise.

Pok and Shadow Cat/Calina worked together

Shadow Cat/Calina was absent at Pok's funeral and never contacted Sklonda or Riz afterward.

Shadow Cat was spotted immediately after the battle with Kalvaxus (making it possible that she was given a heads up about Kalvaxus' plans).

So, using this information it's not that hard to theorize that Pok might not have been eaten or was eaten under the orders of the Nightmare King. Reasons to taunt might have been something The Nightmare King told him to say once free or just something he said to rattle Riz knowing it couldn't be proven. Reasons to ask to be eaten could have been to dispose of a clone he was piloting without risking leaving a magical trace behind (which could have been done regularly for one reason or another, but if Kalvaxus got caught red handed, they would have had an established story set up and a witness to it happening).

There's also a few things that happen during the Shadow Cat/Riz dialogue that take on a whole new meaning. I'll link the dialogue below, but one exchange really stands out. She said "Pok Gukgak. It's a good man" and when Riz asked what went wrong between them, she said "Nothing went... wrong between us" immediately followed by her offering "a little information swap" and to answer a question about his dad in exchange for answering her own. This was despite Riz previously saying "I wanna know where the crown is. I wanna know where Fabian is. I wanna know why people are coming for us in our sleep." and thus already knowing what information Riz would trade for.

Finally, let's look at Riz.

He is the son of Pok and Sklonda Gukgak.

He is an inquisitive rogue and on more than one occasion has been described as being "one with the shadows".

He has always has issues with sleeping, often avoiding it or just not getting enough of it.

He has always been able to see Shadow Cat and has met her at least once.

He was going to be sacrificed on an alter by a Nightmare King controlled Fig to complete some kind of ritual.

He was not attacked in his dreams when he failed his throws, the first time getting Baron while awake and the second time pounced on by Shadow Cat while asleep (while even Ragh was attacked in his sleep and got up while already under dominate person as Adaine watched).

Shadow Cat knew a lot of stuff about Riz, including current stuff ("I know that YOU only do things to kinda distract yourself from how DEEPLY sad you are that your dad is gone, I get that. The maidens and then you find the maidens and then it's on to the next thing and the conspiracy board and you don't sleep and you're digging digging digging- it's like when you were in that palimpsest. You will dig until your own hands are bleeding...").

Shadow Cat's first offer to get his intel was to answer a question about his dad if she got to ask him a question in return (followed by saving Fabian despite that being one of the things he asked for).

Some of these wouldn't hold water alone, but combined they paint a very interesting picture. Shadow Cat being so familiar with Riz makes more sense if she has been keeping an eye on the son of her boss off and on for a long time. It also explains why Shadow Cat immediately offered to give him intell on his dad in exchange for answering a question and clicking her tongue when he turned it down like he did. Riz being the son of the Nightmare King (maybe only a tiny part or an infused thing due to how it happened) would mean he's probably immune to some Nightmare magic and skilled with others (like how half-elves are immune to Sleep, but can't trace), which explains why he has yet to get attacked while dreaming and his natural stealth skills, perceptiveness, and sleep issues. The Nightmare King trying to use Riz in a ritual sacrifice instead of just some guy on the street might mean his son is required for it.

This all leaves me with so many questions.

Considering how strategic the Nightmare King is, why exactly would he pick Sklonda?

Could Pok have fathered Riz specifically to sacrifice later, as a backup for something, or as a cover for being around certain people?

Why did Pok leave and was it planned?

What was Pok really up to during his life as a spy?

Is Riz required somehow to bring back the Nightmare King?

Does the ritual actually require Riz to die and if so, could they revive him without causing the ritual to fail (like if it required a lethal amount of blood from Riz or a mortal wound)?

What will Gorthalax reveal once he's freed (which will most likely happen once Ayda learns Plane Shift and has a slot free to use it)?

Could someone in the party potentially question Kalvaxus (maybe with the help of Gorthalax or a specific spell)?

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Special thanks to @skysfallingbaby for the bardic inspiration for this tinfoil time. I honestly hadn't considered the possibility until you mentioned it, but the moment I did I just HAD to follow the logic to see where it led. It really surprised me how many pieces fell into place the further I went. It really was an absolute delight to research. Thank you ^_^

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Original Post

#fantasy high #dimension 20 #pok gukgak #riz gukgak #calina #shadow cat #fantasy high live #fantasy high spoilers #tinfoil time #theory #d20 theory

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