#friends. and by the end of act 3 that friendship should be the deepest and most meaningful it's ever been. but. it just isn't.

[pjisskullourful]

ᵂⁱᶜᵏᵉᵈ ᴴᵘᵐᵒᵘʳ

🐰Damiano × reader

NSFW 🔥 nasty adults engage in sexytimes

° Damiano David/female reader insert

° his wicked sense of humour suggests exciting sex || you & damiano become great friends after meeting at a bar, but it eventually becomes clear this should be more than a friendship [based during il ballo della vita era]

wordcount::: 9,640

° commissioned by the bloody wonder that is jace (@wow-ihateithere)💋 my absolute beloved, you're the best [commissions get priority- there are 3 fics in cue, secure your own spot right here]

° lyrics stolen from björk

The stage manager said your name, prompting you to look up, startled out of the thoughts you had been trying to keep organised. “You’re up next, babes.”

You attempted to return their smile as you got to your feet. This was the driest your mouth had ever been in your life and swarms of butterflies had taken up residence in your belly. You walked over to this relative stranger, wondering if it was too late to run away from this.

But an equal part of you insisted that you keep going and you met the manager’s eye. You had wondered about going through with this for so long, toying with the idea of stand-up comedy for years. You would be betraying a huge part of yourself if you gave into the fear and fled now. You stood in front of this person you had known for less than an hour, steeling yourself.

“When you hear the host introduce you, you just walk out and take the mic from him. Simple, right?”

“Simple.” You repeated, pleased when the word came out clearly.

You barely paid any attention to the act preceding you, they could have been speaking in an entirely made up language without you realising. What you listened to was the audience - they didn’t sound too difficult, they were generous with laughter and no aggressive voices were trying to make themselves known. Even as your hands were sweating, you thought you could do this.

There was a fair amount of applause then the host was saying your name. Before you could question it, you were starting to walk. You saw the spotlight, then you saw the smiling face of the local comedian as he held the microphone out to you. You took it and he left the stage - officially, it was too late to run now. There was modest, welcoming clapping as you turned to face the crowd. The spotlight got in your eyes at once, you raised the microphone towards your face.

“Well, hello there.” You said, a smile on your face as the adrenaline took over. “How are you guys tonight?” You turned the end of the microphone in the direction of the crowd and there were a handful of responding cheers. Less than a second later, you were snatching the microphone back towards yourself with a theatrical rolling of your eyes. “Enough about you, jeez.”

This got you your first laugh, the loudest coming at you from the right-hand side. Your eyes had somewhat adjusted to the light, allowing you to find this amused patron - a long-haired guy who appeared to be about your age. You hoped this wouldn’t be the only time you earned his boisterous laugh.

“I have a confession to make. Yes, an announcement to get us rolling. This is my first time doing stand-up.” You said, prompting some clapping. “Ooh, thank you for the encouragement, keep it coming. Give me that encouragement that I clearly didn’t get through my childhood, otherwise I wouldn’t need to be here.”

This gained laughs as you had hoped, including the long-haired guy. He sounded so genuine, you felt confident that you had him on your side. You thought that so long as you could keep this guy laughing, then you would be okay - you would be able to successfully make it through these next ten minutes.

Your hand was shaky on the microphone, but you didn’t let this rattle you. You glanced down at your other hand, where you had scribbled something of a running order with a fine-tip sharpie. You drew in the deepest breath you could manage and launched into your first proper bit.

It all happened so quickly, once you started talking it flowed out of you. Your nerves couldn’t touch you while you were on a roll like this. Your mouth was still horrendously dry but each word came out without flaw, getting you more laughs. You caught a glimpse of your best friend Liam seated at one of the tables. But your eye kept going back to that expressive stranger with the long hair. And every time you looked, he was either mid-laugh, or wearing a brilliantly bright smile.

Something moving in your peripheral vision of the rest of the stage caught your eye. The host was easing his way back onto the stage - you had done it.

“Well, that’s my time. Thank you so much for having me.” You said and as you spoke, you added more enthusiasm to each word, ramping up while wearing the biggest smile you could manage. “You guys have been so…”

In an instant, you stopped smiling and dropped your voice to a dreary monotone. “...here.” As the audience laughed, you turned to the host. You returned the microphone to the safety of his hands and gave a disappointed shrugging of your shoulders before leaving the stage.

The release was immensely satisfying, plastering a wide smile onto your face. Your body was filled with energising tingles as you got to disappear into the backstage darkness.

You began to laugh, not because anything funny was happening. This was the only way you could react to this overwhelming whirlwind of emotions. Disbelief and relief were married together in an intoxicating rush. You clasped your hands over your face and sank into the pride, so proud to have captured this victory for yourself.

You composed yourself enough to leave the backstage area, still feeling like you were walking on air as you returned to the venue’s main room. You went directly to the bar, not having to wait in line to request a glass of water. You were guzzling it down as quickly as you could, needing to remedy this feeling of the inside of your mouth being drier than a desert.

You had just turned back to the bartender, opening your mouth to speak. But someone else had approached, taking this silence as an opportunity to talk first.

“Whatever she’s having, I’ll pay.” It was the guy with the long hair. You smiled as he came closer, now that you were seeing him clearly you could appreciate how attractive he was. You had thought that his loud laughter would be enough to make him your favourite audience member, but he was racking up more merit points with you.

The bartender raised her eyebrows as she looked at you for a reaction. “Did you want a refill on that glass of water?”

“Fuck. That was meant to be smooth.” He said with a disarming smile as you giggled.

“Is that out of your price range, pal?” You teased before handing your glass back to the bartender. “A refill would be greatly appreciated, thanks.”

He turned to fully face you, resting his elbow on the bar. “I really loved your set and I didn’t think it would be right for you to not have a celebratory drink. But if that conflicts with your sobriety or something, uh…” He dragged his eyes across the stocked shelves behind the bartender. “They’ve got candy bars, I could buy you one of those?”

“I was just rehydrating. You can get me a Midori Illusion.” You said.

As you sipped your water, he repeated this order to the bartender, who got to work mixing. There was another comic on the stage now, earning their own laughs, but you only gave them a cursory glance.

Your new companion provided you with his name - Damiano. You responded with yours and a relaxed handshake was shared. The bartender set the green cocktail down in front of you and he provided payment.

“Thank you for the drink.” You said, downing the rest of your water so you could concentrate on the alcohol.

“No, you earned it. That’s a big deal what you just did.” He said. “Except, I’ve got my doubts over whether or not that was actually your first time.”

You looked at him with wide eyes. “Pardon me?”

“I’m just sayin’, you seemed like you knew exactly what you were doing up there, like someone with a fair amount of experience.” He said.

“Oh, so I’m a liar, am I?” You asked, wearing an amused grin on your face. “We’ve just met and already you’re calling me a liar?”

“Only a little.” He said, resplendent in his cheekiness.

You shook your head. “I don’t know if I like this side of you, Damiano.”

“Alright, how about this side?” He asked and turned his back on you, looking at you over his shoulder. “Do you like this side better?” He turned again, now putting his back to the bar. “Is this better? I’ll just side-eye you the rest of the night.”

You began laughing, raising a hand to cover your mouth before you got too loud. He appeared pleased by this, a twinkle in his brown eyes as he stood before you normally again.

“I guess I’ll just have to take your word for it that you’ve never done that before.” He said.

“I swear…” You didn’t hesitate to reach out, your fingers going around the crucifix pendant on his necklace. You lifted it from between the open collar of his button-down shirt. “Hand to God, that was my first time doing stand-up comedy.”

“Well then you should take my scepticism as a compliment, you’ve got some kind of natural talent for the stage.” He said.

“Thank you. I was so nervous, I was worried that everyone would get distracted by how much my hand was shaking on the mic, it felt-”

“Girl…” Liam’s familiar voice greeted you and you found him quickly approaching you, his arms open wide. “You did it.”

You beamed at your best friend, extending an arm to him, getting excited to bask in the achievement for longer. “I did it.”

He wrapped both arms around your middle, squeezing your body tight to him. You put an arm around him and as you embraced, you thought about all of the encouragement he had given you in the lead up to tonight. He felt this victory with almost the same weight as you.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Liam said as he let you go. “I just really had to say congratulations.”

“Yeah, that’s what this guy was doing- meet Damiano.” You said and the two men shared a handshake.

“Oh, we’re kind of in the way here.” Liam said, noticing the influx of people coming to the bar now that the show was over. “Should we find a table?”

“Yes. You’re coming too, right Damiano?” You asked of your new companion.

“Sure.”

The three of you found a small circular table, it was away from the main activity of the club. Conversation could be had without the need to shout over obnoxious background noises. You had some more sips of your provided cocktail.

“Was it as scary as you thought it would be?” Liam asked.

“Yeah. The anxiety was very real. I think that if I hadn’t prepared as much…” You said, pointing to the words on the back of your hand. “...I would have fallen flat on my face.”

Damiano’s eyes had remained on your hand. “Ah, I was wondering what all of that was about.”

“It’s my cheat sheet, I do it with pretty much everything.” You said, twisting your wrist before you placed the palm of your hand on the table in front of him, allowing him to read. “I was gonna make a joke about it, call myself out on it…” You indicated to one of the dot points about halfway down the very abbreviated list. “It’s really practical and helpful in some situations. But it’s not always welcome. My ex-boyfriend wasn’t exactly a fan of me looking at the notes on the back of my hand when we were mid-boning.”

Damiano burst out laughing at that. “You’re kidding.”

“No, I’m not. He would think it was weird, taking out the spontaneity compromised the romance, or whatever.” You said.

“Because he was so incredible at all the romantic stuff.” Liam sarcastically commented with a rolling of his eyes.

“What kind of notes did you need for sex?” Damiano asked, still half-laughing.

“I was working on a new blow job technique. And you do not know me well enough to ask any follow up questions about that.” You warned.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” He said before swiftly changing the topic, pointing to a different idea on your list. “That bit, that was my favourite, I think I laughed the hardest at that.”

You looked to where he was indicating. “About my parents getting divorced instead of getting me a pet bunny?”

“Yes, the way you told that was hilarious. And so succinct, but I was on the emotional journey with you, and then… no rabbit.” He said.

“Mum is gonna be pissed that I told that story.” You said, glancing at Liam. “She always gets so cranky when she hears me joking about it.”

“What does she have to be cranky about? She wasn’t the one cheated out of a rabbit.” Damiano said.

“I know.” You loudly agreed.

“I keep telling her to just buy one for herself.” Liam said.

You had another sip of your drink before shaking your head. “No, I’ve Googled, they’re actually a lot of work, kinda high-maintenance.”

This set Damiano off laughing again. “But you’re still mad that you didn’t get one as a kid?”

You maintained eye contact with him, wearing a serious expression. “It’s the principle of the thing, sir.”

“You’re so damn funny.” He said. “If you’re not a full-time comedian, then what’s your day job?”

You looked at Liam, he was starting to smirk as he leaned in. Then you returned your full attention to Damiano. “I work retail. You’ve probably heard of the shop I work at.” He cocked his head to one side, clearly curious. “The Tool Shed.”

His eyes grew incredibly wide in an instant - filled with recognition and some other emotions. Even in the dim lighting, you could see the blush rising in his cheeks as he changed how he was sitting. “Mm-hmm.” He said, sucking on his bottom lip a little. “Yep, I believe I’ve heard of that place.”

It was Liam who began laughing first, he was never unamused when seeing someone’s reaction to the fact that you worked at a sex shop. The reaction could reveal a person’s true colours, probably earlier than they anticipated. Whatever Damiano had been expecting, he hadn’t gotten it. You laughed too, enjoying catching him off guard. He started to laugh as well, appearing to loosen up again.

“Good for you.” You said. “Admitting to it, I mean. We’re the biggest adult entertainment shop in Rome, literally everybody knows about us. But there are two types of people- the ones who lie and play dumb, or the ones not afraid to be honest.”

“Congratulations, you’re in the category that we like.” Liam said before getting to his feet. “I’m gonna get a soda.”

Damiano didn’t take his eyes off of you for a second, he leaned in closer across the table. “In the spirit of honesty: my brain did explode a little when you said that.”

You chuckled. “Yeah, I could kinda tell.”

“Where was any of that in your set?” He wanted to know. “You must have a million funny stories from working there.”

You had more of your drink. “I do, but I didn’t want to pigeon-hole myself as the sex-shop-girl. Besides, I prefer telling people one-on-one. Imagine if I had deprived myself of seeing your reaction. Anyway, what do you do with yourself?”

“I’m in a band, singer slash a bit of guitar.” He said.

“Yep, that tracks.”

His eyebrows raised. “What do you mean by that?”

“No, no offence, but I didn’t have you picked for a corporate world kind of guy. I judged the book by the cover and I judged that you weren’t selling life insurance or working in a bank.” You said.

“I could work in a bank.” He said, pretending to get defensive.

“Of course you could, sweetheart. You can do anything you set your mind to.” You teased before finishing your cocktail with a final swig. “So, tell me about your band?”

You didn’t just learn about his band (Måneskin - you had actually heard of it before, friends mentioning an interest once or twice), but you learnt a Hell of a lot about him because he was so easy to talk to. Between the two of you, the conversation flowed. You didn’t have time to look around, wondering where Liam had disappeared off to.

You continued to make Damiano laugh as he asked about your life. You returned just as many questions, wanting to hear about all of the interesting experiences he’d already had packed into his life.

There were common interests that you were quickly bonding over. He liked a lot of the same nerdy movies as you. Your sense of humour was syncing up, you didn’t have to explain any of your jabs or worry that he would take them the wrong way. He was a cat person just like you were.

You weren’t conscious of the time as it was passing. But you were forced to acknowledge it when Liam came back to the table, awkwardly announcing that he, your designated driver, had to leave shortly - he had work tomorrow, he couldn’t spend the entirety of his night in this club.

“It was really nice to meet you guys.” Damiano said, getting to his feet at the same time as you did.

“You too.” Liam replied.

“I was serious about being there in the front row for the next time you do stand-up.” Damiano said.

“I know and I was serious when I told you that I would message as soon as it comes up again.” You said. “And I’ll send you photos of Björk when I get home, given she isn’t feeling like running from me. You know how unpredictable cats are.”

“Moody little bastards.” He said.

Something in you was instructing that you give him a parting hug, which you wouldn’t normally do with a stranger. But for some reason, you wanted to.

It’ll be weird, an insistent voice in your head chimed in. You let this be the deciding vote, leaving on friendly terms, but without any further physical contact.

“I did it.” You reiterated after buckling yourself into the passenger seat of Liam’s car.

He paused to give you a longer look rather than starting the engine. “Which part are we celebrating- the stand-up or getting the cute boys’ phone number?”

“I was talking about the stand-up.” You gently corrected. “But if you think Damiano’s cute and you wanna talk about that more- we can.”

“Are you saying you didn’t find him cute?” He asked, starting to drive away from the nightclub. “Which bit wasn’t cute to you- was it all of the tattoos, how tall he is, all of that hair, his giant eyes, or did his really great sense of humour turn you off?”

“Yeah, he’s an attractive guy, but that’s not why I got his number.”

“Sure it’s not.” He said sarcastically, to which you just silently rolled your eyes - you could sense that he wasn’t going to let this point go. “It’s okay girl, he seemed into you too.”

“I wasn’t picking up on that vibe.” You said with a shake of your head.

“Doesn’t mean it wasn’t there.” He said. “You’re just painfully unaware of the fact that you’re a catch.”

You weren’t entirely over your post-performance rush by the time you were unlocking the front door of your home, the pleasing buzz from your accomplishment keeping a smile on your lips.

But you had to keep it inside, you couldn’t risk waking your housemate - she had an early shift tomorrow. Your main goal was to find her pet cat with as little noise as possible. After talking about her so much, you wanted to show Björk off to Damiano. Your night would be incomplete if you couldn’t share a video with him.

The black, white and brown cat looked none-too-enthused by your return home as you approached her spot in the lounge room. She was at the top of her cat tower, not even raising her head to acknowledge you. She continued looking bored as you pointed your phone’s camera at her, stretching your arms out.

See how much she loves me - you sent to him following the video of the cat looking away from you.

His response was very quick, it made you wonder if he had been waiting to hear from you. The bond is very clear.

For the sake of his entertainment, you endeavoured to create a second, more amusing video. Under the cat’s watchful eyes, you swept your hair up, capturing it in a bun on top of your head. Then you got closer to the cat tower, with her gaze fixing on the elevated section of hair.

You turned your back to the tower, lifting your phone again - this time with the front-facing camera on. Björk had taken to batting at your bun before you had begun filming. You just had to make sure you held the phone steady and at the best angle as her attack went on, swiping her paw tirelessly at your hair.

You stepped away when you stopped filming, immediately sending this video to him. We think she was a high-strung hair stylist in a former life.

Before you had reached your bedroom, you were getting his response. Jeez, I thought my brother complaining about my man bun was rude. Another message was quickly following this, note to self: wear hair down when I visit your place.

It didn’t matter that you had moved away from the cat, he kept talking with you. A new conversation began and you still had so much to say to him. You fell asleep with your phone in hand.

*** *** ***

Two months had passed since that night, and ever since you had been in constant contact with Damiano. The friendship had formed effortlessly, spending countless hours sharing ideas and laughter. You never tired of his company, getting to know him incredibly well as you saw him a minimum of once every week.

When you needed to go shopping for a housewarming gift, it seemed only natural that he would accompany you. You needed a second opinion on the ideas of what to get your co-worker ahead of his party this weekend. Damiano could provide the insight of what would suit the home of a heterosexual man - a market you weren’t typically shopping for. He liked feeling useful and you knew he would keep you entertained.

But you had yet to find an item you could agree on. Wandering the aisles of the department store, you had been vetoing one another regularly. He thought a fake plant as a gift had a shady undertone. Buying a laundry hamper for someone felt like something a mum would do, in your opinion. He advised you to stay away from anything decorated with flowers and he was unimpressed by every photo frame that you showed him.

“Why don’t you get this for him?” Damiano suggested, taking a box down from the shelf. “I’m sure Nathan will love this.”

Instead of accepting the box that he held out to you, you gave it a sceptical look. “A wireless charging station?” You just raised your eyebrows as he pushed it further into your personal space. “That doesn’t strike me as a very personal gift.”

“Doesn’t matter, it’s practical. I have one, it’s a game-changer.” He said. “If you really want it to be personal, you can get a sharpie and write his name on it. Problem solved, you are so very welcome.”

You took the object from him, getting his hopes up momentarily. But then you returned it to the shelf. “I’m not, though. I don’t want to get him something that he could easily go out and buy for himself. Personal, that’s a really important factor here.”

“If it’s so fucking important, then why isn’t it written on the back of your hand?” He asked.

You considered the back of your hand, which was free of any kind of list for once. “Oh, the back of this hand? Did you wanna get a closer look at it, maybe as I’m smacking you upside the head with it?”

Instead of challenging you further, he took half a step away from you. “We need to get out of the tech section. We’re not gonna find anything with a personal touch here.”

He didn’t hesitate to leave the aisle, but you took your time, looking at the stock all around you. For the moment you weren’t thinking about Nathan, considering products for yourself.

A man saying your name distracted you, it wasn’t Damiano’s voice. And when you looked up, you immediately wished it was him, rather than the man approaching you. But you fixed a smile to your face, covering the fact that you were cringing inside.

Brad, it had been almost a full year since you had last seen him, the best friend of your ex-boyfriend. He had been around quite regularly, loving to remind you that he knew your boyfriend better than you ever would. His other favourite ‘jokes’ had revolved around the age-gap in your relationship. When you broke up with Chad, you had removed him and any of his friends from your social media, and you hadn’t looked back for a single second.

“Wow, what are the chances of bumping into you here?” Brad marvelled, wearing a smile that easily bested yours.

Silently you cursed the luck that had seen your paths crossing. “Kinda crazy.”

“You look really, really great.” He said after giving you an up-and-down assessment, which lingered at your chest - far from the first time you had caught him looking at your tits.

“Oh, thanks. And you- yeah, you too.”

He had walked over to stand directly in front of you, closer than what was necessary, bringing the strong scent of his cologne into your nostrils. “Thanks. I renewed my gym membership and I’ve actually been using it, not just wasting my money.”

“That’s cool.” You said.

“Are you seeing anybody new?” He asked. “Pretty little thing like you probably had a line waiting to take Chad’s place, huh?”

“I don’t know about that.” You said and he went on grinning, his amusement frustrating you. “I’ve mostly just been concentrating on myself, not really seeing anyone right now.”

His eyes moved down the entirety of your body again. “How have you been?” He asked, then kept on talking before you had the chance to respond. “I thought about reaching out to you, like a million times. Because the way things ended with you and Chad- that was really shitty.”

‘Don’t remind me’, you thought bitterly. He had only gotten the cliff notes. He hadn’t been there for the weeks of loud arguments, he hadn’t seen Chad throwing your phone and other belongings out the window of his apartment. You doubted Chad’s retellings had included all of the rude names he had called you, he was probably the hero in his version.

“And I wanted to know if you were okay through it. But I figured I wasn’t the person you would want to talk to, so I gave you space and all of that.” Brad said. “I don’t really talk to Chad that much anymore, you don’t have to worry about me running to him after this, with a report about bumping into you.”

This didn’t clear you of much discomfort. “Oh, that’s good.”

“We should hang out…” He said.

In the corner of your vision, you saw movement and Damiano was coming over. You were swept with relief, fighting against the urge to run over to your friend. He was respectfully keeping from rushing into the conversation, more polite than you needed him to be right now.

“Chad’s out of the picture, but that doesn’t mean me and you can’t stay friends and, you know…” Brad said, a certain look in his eyes.

You had no idea how to respond, so you grasped for the closest thing to a life-preserver that you had. “Damiano.” You held your hand out to him. “You’ve gotta meet Brad.” You were extremely grateful when he took your hand, safety. “This is my friend, Damiano.”

“What’s up, man?” Brad’s voice was completely monotone and his eyes were on Damiano for less than a second. “Anyway, we should get a coffee or dinner or you could come to my place, so we could catch up properly. I’d really like to catch up with you, honey.”

You took half a step back from him, your need to be polite dwindling as you considered hiding behind Damiano. “Actually, I’m busy with work lately and my weekend is already full, so…”

“So another time then.” Brad said. “Let me give you my number.”

You just blinked at the open palm of his hand, where he was expecting you to place your phone. “Uh, I’ve already got it. From that Halloween when Chad lost his phone.”

Brad continued to hold his hand out. “That was my old number, I got a different one when I updated my phone- got the new iPhone.”

“Hey, I’ve got something to show you a few aisles over.” Damiano told you with a brief squeeze of your hand. “The perfect thing for that party you’re going to this weekend.”

“Well hang on pal, we’re trying to get something organised here.” Brad said. “I really think we should catch up. I’ve missed you, haven’t you missed me?”

Instead of answering, you looked at Damiano, who was taking in all of this with his eyebrows raised very high. His eyes darted over to you and he seemed to know what you needed, speaking up again. “What exactly would she have missed about you- your horrible cologne or your inability to take a hint?”

“Excuse me, and who are you?” Brad asked, no longer expecting you to hand over your phone. “I don’t remember asking your opinion.”

“But check this out, you’re getting it anyway. Aren’t you lucky?” Damiano responded, full of that irrepressible sass that had you mentally cheering him on. “It’s time for you to take a seat, son.”

“Son?” Brad repeated - you made a mental note to tease Damiano over this later. In a less tense moment, it would be funny that he had called a man almost a decade older than him ‘son’.

“She’s just being polite but you hitting on her like this isn’t welcome, it’s making her uncomfortable. Which would be obvious to you if you were talking to her like an actual human.” Damiano said, eloquently expressing himself even though his annoyance was clear. You weren’t taking any notice of how Brad was reacting, as your heart was racing, your eyes were locked on Damiano. He appeared taller in this moment and you were admiring him like never before.

“But you don’t know how to do that and I sincerely feel sorry for the women in your life.” He said, finally finding what it took to get Brad to move back. “So take a seat, you can take several seats. We have a housewarming party to shop for.”

Maybe Damiano had another comeback in mind (possibly more than one) because he didn’t instantly walk away, instead giving Brad the opportunity to respond. But the man from your unpleasant past was silent and you were freed of this interaction. He took a step back, his eyes going down to the ground.

Damiano checked on you before turning and walking away, still holding your hand. You went with him, feeling a surge of more than just relief. Before you had left the aisle, you were already smiling. You didn’t know where he was going, but you were happy to be going with him, buzzing with every step.

“What a sleaze.” He commented. Then he held up a pink, stuffed bunny toy, which you had been too flustered to notice him holding until now. He passed it to you. “I found you a pet rabbit.”

You were blushing as you accepted the plushie. “Sweetie.”

Hand-in-hand, you walked past five aisles before he turned down one, determining this to be far enough from Brad. You walked about halfway down the aisle, surrounded by home security wares as Damiano placed himself in front of you.

“Are you alright?” He asked, his brow furrowed as he concentrated only on you.

“Sure, I’m fine. I just feel like I need to do this…” You pushed invisible dirt off of each of your forearms, as if Brad’s very presence had brought grime to your skin. “There’s someone I didn’t need to bump into. He’s not the top of the list, but still…”

“Yeah, I could tell that it wasn’t a happy reunion for you. And with what you’ve told me about what Chad did to you, I figured you wouldn’t want to be reminiscing on that time in your life.”

Damiano was one of the only people in your life that you had told the full story of your breakup to. You didn’t indulge the misery inside of you by thinking about it very often and you really didn’t like talking about it. But you trusted him. And he had returned that trust, telling you about the breakup he had gone through not long before your meeting, the end of a two year relationship.

“You’re right, thank you.” You said. “Ugh, I hate confrontation, but you just handled that so well.”

“I didn’t say anything out of line, did I?”

“No, I was happy- I liked everything you said. Like, damn, seeing you all protective like that, it really makes me wonder what you’d look like between my thighs.” You said, maintaining eye-contact, even as you felt butterflies filling your tummy.

This wasn’t followed by an instant comeback from him, it seemed that he needed time to register this information. He stared at you, a new smile growing on his face. You smiled back, part of you in disbelief that you had said it, the rest of you very glad that you had. Your fingers fidgeted against the soft fur of the rabbit as you waited for him to move past this uncharacteristic quietness.

“What do you mean by that?” He asked.

You didn’t want to laugh and try to pass it off as a joke, instead you stepped in closer to him. “I think you know what I mean, sweetheart.”

He watched you as you raised your empty hand, holding it to his cheek. He was licking his lips as you got in closer, until you could reach his mouth with yours.

Gently, he kissed you back and you were soon feeling your heart racing. The rest of the large shop faded away as you leaned into him more. You savoured how exciting this was, as well as how natural it felt, as if you should have been doing this all along.

You deepened the kiss, unwilling to let this be short. You loved the feeling of his arm slipping around your waist, bringing so much security. It made you want to kiss him for hours, to make up for lost time. It made you want to go on discovering him in this way, to keep going until you were drunk on him.

Before pulling away, you couldn’t help swiping your tongue against his lip - feeding your curiosity because his taste was all that you wanted to know.

You watched his eyes slowly flutter open, you weren’t minding his silence so much now. The hand not holding onto the toy moved down to hold his and it was like holding his hand for the first time. You stayed close, studying his face like never before as he started smiling.

“Do you want me to explain what I mean?” You offered.

“No, I wanna take you back to my house.” He said and you didn’t know if you had ever heard a more seductive offer in your life. Already you knew this would be different to any of the other times you had been to his apartment. “I wanna know more about being between your thighs.”

Your cheeks were burning hot as you nodded. “Good, ‘cause that’s what I want, right fucking now.”

He gave your hand a keen squeeze, but he didn’t immediately begin walking for the exit. “What about buying the gift?”

“I’ll order the charging station online, whatever.”

“So now it’s a good enough gift?” He asked, looking a little smug.

But you just rolled your eyes. “That’s the thing you’re choosing to concentrate on right now?”

“Right.” He said and he spared you any bragging. “What about the rabbit?”

You didn’t hesitate to stuff it onto the closest shelf, where it immediately stood out as an imposter. “It’s not coming home with me.”

“But I am?” He asked, grinning as he clearly forgot all about the toy.

“That’s right.”

You thought about kissing him again. But before you could act on this, he was making a hurried exit from the aisle, your hand secured in his. You were beaming as you rushed to keep up with him. He didn’t slow down and you didn’t ask him to, this quickness matched the racing of your heart. You were too excited to remember to fear another bump into Brad and very soon you were power walking through the doors.

*** *** ***

Damiano had never touched you like this before, but he did it all without hesitation. This new level of closeness didn’t intimidate him and he wasn’t unsure of where he wanted to put his hands, making you wonder how much time he had dedicated to thinking about this before today.

You had thought about it. Not instantly after meeting him, but it was an idea that had begun popping up. As you spent time together, it would occur to you that you had the opportune moment to make a move and you had seriously considered it more than once. But you would always find a reason to stop yourself.

But there was no stopping now. Everything leading up to you reaching his bedroom had passed in a fast blur. There had been grabbing as you both explored, whispered requests and you were starting to learn his kissing technique.

The excitement was sizzling in the air between the two of you as you stood in his bedroom, removing clothing. You were seeing tattoos on him that you had never seen before and he was seeing all of your scars for the first time. You were so eager to see what came next.

“God, you’re so beautiful.” He said, bringing your naked body into his arms so that he could secure more kisses. You shut your eyes as you sank into this embrace. His hands were tender as they moved over so much bare skin. “I wanna absolutely worship you…”

Having never heard this before, you couldn’t help but smile. You caressed the nape of his neck as you looked into his eyes, seeing great anticipation reflected back to you. “That sounds really romantic, sweetheart. But what does that mean, it’s kinda vague.”

“You’re right. Let me make it clear for you, yeah?” He asked. “Please, lay down on your back for me.”

You did this instantly. It felt like it had been years since you had last experienced intimacy. And you had never had it like this before. As you automatically spread your thighs, you struggled to recall a partner that you had been this honest with. You felt safety as you looked at that familiar face, even as he looked at you in a different way. In this security, you were granted the luxury of being vulnerable, you wanted to serve your vital connection by holding nothing back.

He had brought his knees down to the mattress, towards the end of the bed. As leaned down closer to you, his eyes swept up-and-down your body, lingering the longest on your face. He studied your expression, looking for a reaction that suggested you needed to stop.

When he didn’t get this, he progressed with getting into position to eat your cunt. Your heart was pounding as you watched all of this, acutely aware of how his body heat reached your skin before you felt his touch. You had never had a man begin with cunnilingus before, not without an exhaustive amount of begging from you.

You were so keen that you couldn’t help squirming before he’d had the opportunity to lower his head down to your crotch. The ends of his long hair tickled at your thighs, until you gathered it up in your hands, twisting some of the strands around your fingers. You watched as his brown eyes got locked onto your cunt and you sucked in a quick breath.

His fingers were gentle as they went to your labia, parting them just enough to get your moist clit exposed to him. You let out a shaky sigh when he touched his lips to your clit, greeting the hood with a little kiss. You were immediately invigorated by this feeling, getting your hopes up at this seemingly promising start.

He didn’t shy away from giving your clit more attention. You rested your head down on his pillow, your thighs opening wider as he trained his tongue onto the hood, working it back-and-forth in a luxurious massage. So many sensitivities sprang to life inside of you and his unhurried movements made it seem like he had the time to explore all of them. You sank into this teasing as you happily floated away from everything else.

Needy whines were falling from your lips when he placed his mouth around your clitoral hood so that he could begin sucking on it. This intensity had you seeing little stars in your vision. You felt so much blood surging into the hood, until all of your cunt seemed to be aching. You tilted your pelvis and he kept your legs from moving by placing his hands to each of your thighs.

“Fuck. You are really good at this.” You told him as more of your body was rocked by these dazzling sensations.

He let your clit slip out from between his lips and lifted his head, gazing up at you. “Thanks babygirl. And I don’t even need notes on the back of my hand to help me give good head.”

You frowned in response to the very pleased smile on his face and you made to reposition your leg. “Prepare to be kicked, I will kick you in that smug, pretty boy face.”

He laughed, unbothered by your threat. He ensured that you couldn’t act upon this by grabbing both of your ankles, his fingers wrapped tight as he forced them onto the mattress. Your heart was launched into your throat as he quickly transferred his grip to your knees, holding them down. He met your gaze and you could see he was still smiling, still happy with himself.

You were without any further threats, nor did you have any sassy comments to make. You were just concentrating on how it felt to have him pinning your legs down, how it made you desire him all the more. You knew you wouldn’t be able to easily get yourself free and you loved it, you wanted to know more of his control.

You were even wetter when he returned his mouth to your pussy. You were so happily at his mercy as he kept a consistent pressure on your knees.

He glided his tongue over the hood in one smooth motion. Then the next thing you were feeling was just the tip of his tongue, reaching down to give the hood something like a poke. It was over just as quickly as it had begun. Then you were feeling it again-and-again as he bobbed his head, bouncing the tip of his tongue against your clitoral hood.

Your breathing had become laboured but you smiled as you enjoyed these quick bursts of contact. His firm tongue was building up tingles inside of you, ready to surge through all of you. The moments when your clit was allowed to pulse against his tongue were so thrilling, filling you with something more powerful than butterflies and you knew they could take you higher. But the moments in between were exciting as well, your nerves on edge as you tried to recover from his last tap, while attempting to prepare for the next.

He worked according to his own tempo. You were enjoying this masterful teasing so much that you found yourself beginning to laugh, a desperate, gasping sound that you had no control over.

You sought out a use for the tension gripping you and so you set your hips into motion. You rode the waves of pleasure, synchronising with him occasionally.

You liked this indulgence so much that you kept at it, steadily rocking into his face. You continued going, even when he stopped bouncing his tongue to go back to sucking on your clitoris. The stakes were higher this time around, prompting your knees to twitch and tremble under his hands.

The way that he wiggled his head paired perfectly with the way you were rolling your hips. It wasn’t just teasing anymore, with every single inch of your clitoris being stimulated it was getting to be mind-blowing. He was taking full advantage of all of the sensitivities in this very concentrated area and you were obsessed with it.

“Mmn…” You moaned as your grinding into his face got more powerful and you began to partially sit up.

You could sense the edge coming and it intimidated you. You grabbed his hand with one of yours and he instantly held it back, letting you squeeze. Your other hand went to your mouth, somewhat muffling the sounds that were coming in more frequently.

The trembles in your body had become non-stop and there were even more stars in your vision. Your heart sat in your throat as you continued to enjoy the intensity of his lips caress.

Your breathing skipped and you came undone. Your entire body jolted, feeling the dazzling surprise. Your knees shot up and you forced yourself into his face with all of the strength that you had.

“Fuck, fuck, oh fuck…” You whimpered as you well and truly captured the peak.

Your clit continued to pulse as he pulled back. Your chest was burning as you looked down and placed your hands to his cheeks. His eyes were sparkling as they reached your face, surveying you again.

“Are you alright, babygirl?” He asked, repositioning his body between your legs.

“More than.” You felt like you were stating the obvious as you said it. “Get on top of me, right fucking now.”

“Let me get a condom.”

You were still filled with so much desire, hardly worn out from your orgasm as you watched him covering his boner with latex. You weren’t done enjoying him in this way, stuck wondering how much higher he could take you.

You could taste your pussy on his lips as soon as he started to kiss you, his mouth hungrily reclaiming yours. He kissed you deep enough to steal away what little breath you did have.

He laid down on top of you, his body comfortably fitting with yours. In the process, your mouths didn’t separate, chasing more of this connection. He wrapped one arm around your middle, holding you tight, skin pressed on skin like never before. Soon you were experiencing the sensation of melting into each other.

You draped one of your arms over his shoulders, so very happy with this embrace. Your hand moved up the back of his neck, synchronising with how you eased your tongue forward, teasing it between his lips. You held the back of his head as you guided your tongue deeper, pushing over the top of his.

You had been feeling his cock all along, its stiffness pressing against you and trying to gain your attention. You instantly noticed when he repositioned to get it closer to your pussy and you responded by moving your thighs further apart. He fit into this space perfectly.

You slid your tongue against the roof of his mouth as he slowly stuffed himself into you. He was whining as your cunt eagerly hugged to the first couple of inches of his cock. His receptive head was engulfed and the arm holding you tensed.

He drew back from your mouth with a gasp. Your eyes fluttered open to the sight of him licking his lips. His face remained very close to yours as ragged breaths fell from his mouth. He adjusted his weight on top of you, his ever-watchful eyes still monitoring all of your reactions.

“You’re just so beautiful.” He said and you wanted to remember this look on his face for the rest of your life - how did this keep getting more intimate? Surely a limit would soon be reached.

“And I bet that- well, I wanna see if you get even sexier when you come.” He said.

You smiled as you wrapped one of your legs around his waist. “Yeah, that’s what you wanna see?”

“Yeah.” He echoed you immediately.

You rolled your hips up, taking a little more of him into your pussy. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He repeated, his eyelids briefly fluttering when you plunged forward another time.

There was a feeling of pressure on your tender clit as you gave another thrust, making the movement of your body with his even more significant.

As he began experimenting with his range of motion, more of his dick disappeared inside of you. Soon you were writhing into him, encouraging the swinging of his hips. You held tighter to him, embracing this momentum.

He had established a rhythm, still sliding more of his length into you. His eyes remained on your face, not a single reaction went unnoticed as he concentrated on your enjoyment.

You loved the feeling of grinding against him as you matched his tempo, meeting him thrust-for-thrust. You were safe to go higher with him, unafraid to make more honest sounds as the pleasure kept increasing. Those stars were back in your vision.

He bottomed out with a gasp, his hips on yours pinning you down to the bed. You both paused, your bodies settling into this new closeness. Then he bumped his nose against yours, tilting his head until he could capture your lips in a kiss.

As you concentrated on kissing him, the fluttering of your sensitive inner-walls continued beyond your control. The eager, unpredictable spasming made it impossible for him to remain still for very long. You welcomed the friction that came with this and you joined the momentum as soon as you could.

When he picked up speed, you kept up with him. Desperation dictated your movements and you could feel each collision having so much impact. It was getting harder to breathe but you didn’t mind, just enjoying how deep these stimulations were reaching. It was so intense, poised to take over every part of your body.

He let out a choked sob after your lips parted. Listening to his laboured breathing, you could notice his rocking had lost some of its smoothness. His hand went to the pillow beside your head, muscles flexing as he gripped it in a fist.

“You feel so- oh- good.” He moaned, his approval making your heart do a little somersault.

“So do you, sweetheart.” You said over the consistent noises of your skin slapping together. “Keep fucking me. Please keep fucking me just like that, Damiano.”

“I think that I- oh, I’m close.” His words came out in a strained whisper and you could clearly see the effort on his face. “I’m close.”

“Yeah?” You asked with a smile, paying attention to the little changes he already displayed.

He had said he wanted to see you come, but now it was you who wanted to watch. You wanted to know how he looked in that moment of perfection, how he reacted to it.

“Yeah.” He said shakily.

“Do it, you should do it.” You purred, giving him a quick kiss.

He was holding his eyes shut as he kept still. A crease had formed between his eyebrows and his breathing was heavier than ever. “I don’t think I can hold off.”

You tightened your leg around him and grinded a little. “Do it, come. Be a good boy and come for me.”

His bottom lip trembled and he whispered your name before easing himself back into motion. You gathered up handfuls of his long hair, holding it away from his face, your view unobscured as he kept getting quicker. It was a rhythm you didn’t have the strength to match as you just rode out the rapidly increasing pleasure.

It only took a few more enthusiastic thrusts to get him over that edge. His orgasm was reached with a triumphant whine as he latched onto his bottom lip with his teeth. He stopped mid-plunge into you, the creases leaving his face as he secured his delight.

You were watching the fluttering of his eyelids before his head slumped. He brought his forehead down to rest against your shoulder, sighing heavily. You played with his hair, feeling how he continued to throb inside of you.

“I didn’t mean to- I didn’t- that’s not how-...”

“What are you talking about?” You asked.

He groaned, keeping his head down. “I couldn’t help it, but I didn’t want to come first. I wanted it- fuck…”

“It’s not a big deal.” You said.

He groaned again, sounding truly displeased. “The woman should always come first. That’s what I think, and usually I can…”

“What… are you seri-...?” You tried to manually lift his head. “I did come.” This got the desired reaction and he looked up at you. “When you were going down on me, I came. I told you that you’re really good at-...”

“I didn’t know you came from that.” He said, seeming that he was coming back into himself.

“Oh. I didn’t know that you didn’t know.” You said. You nuzzled your nose against his, smiling as an opportunity presented itself. “I bet you could make me louder, so loud that it’s crystal clear this time.”

He smiled back as he braced himself by putting his hands on the bed. “I’d love that.”

You leaned in, your lips hovering less than an inch from his. “Do it, sweetheart. Get me off again.” You kissed him, giving him a greater sense of how eager you remained. “I know you can do it.”

He was still smiling when he started to move again, rocking his hips as he stayed buried deep inside of you. He hovered over you, watching how you took it when he established the rhythm.

You let your eyes flutter shut, those twinkling stars ready to greet you at once. You didn’t quite match his movements as you rolled your hips, but the motion felt good, all of your body invested in these wonderful sensations.

It was all enough to take you higher and you didn’t resist any of the noises that were soon rising up inside of you. You weren’t using your hand to muffle these moans. You let them come out loudly, celebrating your pleasure without any shame. His enjoyment of this was obvious as he pounded into you quicker and harder.

It was building to something truly spectacular, you knew this as fact as you kept writhing and trembling underneath him. You could see the stars expanding in your mind’s eye as your inner-walls spasmed relentlessly around him. The desperation gripped you like never before, going straight to your head until every thought was blocked out.

“Fuck.” You cried out in response to every bit of intense stimulation shooting at a direct path to your core. You simply couldn’t hide, you would be shortly overwhelmed.

“Come, babygirl.” He cooed, his words marked with exertion. “Come for me.”

The stars in your eyes became fireworks, fizzing and bursting in a fabulous display. Your body rocketed up into him for one last collision before you were pushed over the glorious edge. You loudly rejoiced as you surrendered all control.

The next thing you were aware of was your body slumping back onto the mattress as you greedily sucked in as much air as possible. You were still seeing the glow of the fireworks as he carefully pulled out. You felt him applying soft kisses to your face, but you were still too far gone to react to this.

You were gradually coming back into yourself as he laid down next to you. He initiated the beginnings of a cuddle with one arm around you and you savoured this continuing closeness. It wasn’t long before you were cuddling him back.

When you finally opened your eyes, you were instantly taking in the sight of his bright smile. It made your heart flutter a little and you found yourself reflecting on the first time you had seen him smiling at you like this. You supposed he’d been in possession of a piece of your heart ever since he had made that night for you - this was a conclusion you probably should have seen coming. As you inched closer to him, you smiled back. You enjoyed seeing him in this new light.

“Do you feel worshipped, babygirl?” He asked and you sensed you could get addicted to him calling you this nickname.

“God, yes.”

“Excellent, because there’s more where that came from.” He told you before covering your lips in enthusiastic kisses.

»»————-　♡　————-««  

🍑  taglist:  @floral-recs - @gr8rainbowpunk -   @idyllicbutterfly - @maneskindiva - @maneslut - @saschenkaaa   -   @slavicgoddess13 - @elvirabelle - @maneskintifoso    - @thegeminisgirl    - @ha-la-ansia - @butkutee   - @ursulalurks - @itsmaneskinbitch -   @icarodamiano -   @crwnnjules - @paralianeyes - @fand0mskullfa1ry -   @lizzylynch1 - @kammerstx - @myleftsock - @tellmesomething01   -    @adoredamianos - @vittoriaisfuckingpathetic - @gay-for-victoria-de-angelis - @shinshans - @lonnybunnys - @lyricalliz [join here!]

#maneskin x reader #maneskin fanfiction #maneskin smut #maneskin fic #manesmut #damiano david fic #damiano x reader #damiano david x you

[love-hatred-stuff]

solo [sequel shot]

》 alright so I know it's starts off rough but this is for those who needed a happy end for my fic "solo"

Enjoy my babiesss :3 ♡

"Come on. Please tell me what I did wrong and I'll fix it."

"I'm wrong, James! I was wrong and that isn't your fault. I just don't wanna hang out anymore." A few tears slipped past your eyelids. You were devastated and you knew this day would come. You knew one day he'll find someone that's better than you. Not as broken as you. More useful as a partner in a relationship and not someone who ruins fucking everything.

You were truly heartbroken. But you tried to be happy for him and you were actually. It stung nonetheless, seeing him with another girl that seems to be so put together, so emotionally available. Complete opposite of you and you guess that's why it hurt even more. Him picking someone who is the exact opposite personality type of yours, not to mention someone who looks completely different from what you looked like. It underlined your deepest fear, him actually prefering everything that doesn't represent you.

The thought that had held you together for the past years had suddenly lost its meaning, the thought that he loved you more than anyone else, his promise to be always available for you, vanished, broken. You tried to understand, but it was more than just hard to comprehend.

"But why won't you tell me the reason!?" Bucky was crushed when he heard from you that you can't see each other anymore privately, that he had to forget about you and your close friendship. Because what you didn't know, was that he still loved you, he never stopped. He had never found someone better than you because for him someone like that doesn't even exist. Bucky only ever wanted you to be his, the person he's been in love with for the past two years, the one that he can't help but feel the need to take care of.

"I can't just say 'yeah okay, I won't bother you anymore' to my best friend of so many years I've lost count! You're not just a friend to me, y/n. You're everything I have. You're the only person that truly knows me." James wiped his mouth in desperation. He couldn't loose you. He'd stop breathing.

"Yeah, clearly not." You mumbled under your breath.

"What was that?" He didn't quite catch that.

"James, you know how I am. I'm selfish, manipulative and stubborn. I can't look at your face anymore. Not while knowing you're thinking of someone else while looking a me."

Buckys eyes widened. Only now realising what was going on.

"Why would I do that? I only ever think of you. My brain doesn't even know what to think of otherwise. Would you mind to explain what or who got you thinking this way?" He k ow demanded further explanation.

"I don't wanna talk about this anymore. I'm gonna head home." Was the only answer you gave him, taking your bag, ready to leave him the fuck alone with his new girl.

"I think the fuck not." Bucky walked in front of you, blocking your way.

Now it was your turn to be surprised. He never talked to you like this. He barely cursed.

"I really should though, I don't wanna take away your quality time with someone else." It may have sounded childish but you meant it. You didn't wanna take away his chance to find and enjoy love. You've done that enough the past years.

"What are you even talking about? I don't have anyone else to spend my time with, are you kidding me?" He was endlessly confused.

This was the last straw, now you were getting angry. He should stop acting like he wasn't meeting up with this girl that he met at a party. You were fucking there when they introduced each other. And you were convinced he had already slept with her. Though you wouldn't blame him, as she really was gorgeous, not only that, but she seemed genuine, too. A real catch.

"Are you kidding me?! James, stop acting like there's nothing between Anna and you! I know there is, I have eyes, you know. Besides, Steve always tells me how much you talk, not only with her but also about her. And knowing that makes me sick! I want you to be happy, and if that happiness doesn't require me, I'm fine with that, but I don't wanna watch you fall in love with her! I just can't, okay? So my decision is to avoid you two so I don't have to look at it any fucking longer, or else I'll go insane!" That's it. That's all you had to say. It was more than you intended to but at least you've got it out.

Bucky just stood there, completely baffled, speechless. He couldn't believe it.

You've tried to shove him out of your way, but he didn't budge.

"If you aren't gonna say anything, can I leave?" You groaned, feeling vulnerable now that he knew your heart.

"So you are telling me, you're jealous of Anna? Of someone who'll always be more interested in you than me?" Your heart began to race.

"Are you implying that she isn't into guys?" You wanted to make sure, not quite getting his point.

Bucky nodded calmly.

"Yeah, she's into you though." He replied.

"Oh my God!" You scoffed, embarrassed by yourself, looking anywhere except his eyes.

"I really thought you liked her. I thought you two were hooking up. I'm so sorry for misinterpreting this, James."

"Quit with the 'James'. You were jealous, weren't you?" He nudged you.

"I guess I was." You nodded shyly.

"Does that mean that- that you like me?" His cheeks getting rosy, you looked up at him.

"Of course I like you, dork!" You laughed, but he sighed.

"No I mean; really like me. As in you're in love me?" Bucky was unsure and scared asking this, but it was time to make this confession.

You looked away, your smile turning into something more vulnerable.

"I don't know? I just want you to myself. I want you to only take care of me, no one else. You're only boy I would let sleep in my bed next to me. And over all I guess I wouldn't mind being more than just a friend to you."

Bucky gently stroked your tear stained cheek, looking lovingly into your eyes.

"You've always been more than a friend to me Y/n. If you let me, I would like to call you my girlfriend and not just my best friend. Because hell, I fucking am in love with you!" He leaned in and let his lips softly touch yours for the first time. It was even better than he imagined it to be.

You two kissed for the following ten minutes without having to take a break. When he carefully let go of your lips to breath, he leaned his forehead against you and sighed once again, this time in utter happiness.

"So what do you say? Will you finally be mine?" His voice sweet and so full of love, just like the kiss you had shared.

"I don't know, what did you say? Anna likes me, yeah?" You joked, giggling into his chest.

He laughed along with you.

"Don't you dare." Bucky smiled, giving you another kiss.

He knew he wouldn't ever be able to get enough of the girl he was now finally allowed to call his.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fluff #bucky moodboards

[determunition]

hey hey, it’s time for another monthly challenge: SCRYBRUARY! as the title implies, this challenge is more writing-based than inscryptober from a few months back. there’s quite a lot to work with within the fiction of inscryption, and while there’s quite a wealth of fic out there, there are certainly some crowd favorites! thus, our little character-based inscryption server on discord has come together to synthesize a selection of weekly prompts for fic creation!

as you can see, there are two potential prompts for each week; you can choose one or the other to follow, write separate fics for both, or combine them somehow!

how much writing you would like to do over the course of the month is entirely your prerogative; you can answer as many or as few of these prompts as you like, and you don’t need to feel beholden to the idea that each week is a ticking clock or a deadline!

if you’re already in the midst of a story, and you feel that you could apply one of these prompts to your newest chapter, feel free to do so! no one is limited to starting a new fic or oneshot for each and every one of these prompts

side note: on the 15th of the month, ao3 is hosting international fanworks day! their theme for that day is crossovers, so if our prompt for that week doesn’t strike you you may feel free to use that one instead!

if you’d like to brainstorm or hang out with us on the discord, i’ve linked it right here! it’s a small character-focused server, and we have a lot of fun ^^

that’s about it! our purpose with this challenge is to diversify inscryption’s fanfic scene and fandom discussion, so go crazy! also, if you (like me) don’t have as much time for writing, or it’s not so much your forte, please do support this month’s entries where you can! whether that be by fanart or by simply reading and reviewing on ao3 or tumblr ^^ hope you all have gotten a bit of inspiration, and i’m excited to see what everyone comes up with!

plaintext transcrypt of themes under the cut:

Scrybruary 2023

Week 1: Feb 1-7th Worldbuilding/Character Study

This week encompasses any variety of fic that dives deep into Inscryption’s inner workings; that of its characters, setting, or both! There’s little to go off of when it comes to plot and worldbuilding, from the origins of act 2’s archipelago to why Goobert is so unfailingly loyal to Magnificus. Whether it’s motive or magic systems, cards or culture, this is the time to get creatively critical!

Week 2: Feb 8-14th Romance/Friendship

Yes, this is the obligatory Ship Week. But romance certainly isn’t the only kind of ship around! Should you feel so inclined, this week has just as much room for epic friendships and QPPs as it does for your standard OTP. Rarepairs are of course highly encouraged, especially when the fandom is already quite inundated with its crowd favorites; there are so many odd couples and unusual friends to explore! Speaking of which…

Week 3: Feb 15-21st Unlikely Duo/Day in the Limelight

There are many characters in Inscryption, and many of them have little to no interactions with each other. What sort of rapport might Luke and Magnificus form given the opportunity or Pike Mage and the Woodcarver? In the same vein, there’s plenty of singular characters that don’t get much focus either. What possesses the Dredger to take his job so seriously? How did the Angler get caught up in act 3’s events? This is the week to explore those oft-ignored loose threads of the game.

Week 4: Feb 22-28th Shitpost/Angst

Ending off the month with a pair of fanfic classics! Like all the prior themes, these can be taken separately or combined together into a tragicomic chimera. Let your mind wander into the deepest well of sorrow and regret, or into the wild untamed woods of pure crack; whatever suits your fancy! This is also a good week to tie in bits of any prior themes you may have skipped over, as well.

#inscryption #writing challenge #scrybruary #for this challenge i'm definitely taking up more of a host role #i've got both school and OFH in the works #but i'll probably try out one or two of these! #and i'm def excited to see everyone else's stuff

[mewtonian-physics]

Hey! Can you give your opinion on Sam and Raiden’s friendship and lack thereof

whoever you are i love you for this. yes i can. a lot of this is copied directly from an earlier post i made but <3

their first meeting is sam helping murder a man raiden truly respects and considers a friend. and then maiming him. including destroying one of the only organic parts he has left. all the while mocking him and then almost killing him, too.

and their second meeting doesn’t go any better. sam immediately and cheerfully starts messing with raiden’s mind, employing brutal psychological warfare to the point that raiden almost lets himself get killed because he’s too damn nice for his own good and can barely bring himself to fight back against the people trying to kill him.

this is, of course, all while sam is working for desperado, a company that is kidnapping children off the streets and turning them into brainwashed cyborg soldiers, aka some of the most horrifying things raiden’s been put through in his life at the same time. and then he has the nerve to try and take the moral high ground.

and then there’s the third meeting! in which they once again try to kill each other. the fact that sam is calling raiden a pretty boy and saying to 'show [him] a good time’ during this fight does not mean anything. he’s not flirting with him, he’s mocking him. his tendency to do that is literally one of his most blatant character traits. it’s creepy. and even if he was flirting, that’s not nearly enough to build anything off of. who looks at a guy maiming someone and then psychologically tormenting him by bringing up his worst traumas and deepest fears all while cheerfully working for an organization doing unspeakable things to children and a man trying to start another war on terror and says ‘okay but they should kiss’? who does that?

the fact that he decides to help raiden at the end also doesn’t mean anything. unless you want to look at his dlc and decide that since he decided to help armstrong that means you ship THEM.

that’s actually another of the reasons it would never work. raiden is an idealist. he has very strong beliefs about right and wrong. and sam… doesn’t. his little 'we’ve heard enough speeches about ideals’ is just something he says to disguise the fact that he doesn’t have any. he flip-flops over committing atrocities like he’s trying to decide what to have for breakfast. meanwhile raiden would have sooner let armstrong kill him than help with his plans. they’re completely incompatible. raiden might have had some respect for sam’s fighting skills, but he’d never respect him as a person. because sam goes against everything he is.

i mean even among criminals those who hurt children are considered some of the lowest of the low. for a strong idealist like raiden? sam and his pixy stix of a moral backbone would be utterly repulsive. they couldn't be friends, they couldn't be lovers, they couldn't even be rivals because that implies some sense of competition. raiden has no feelings of competitiveness towards sam, he didn't try to hunt him down, he literally only engaged with sam when sam actively got in his way. sam isn't anything special to him--just another piece of shit helping ruin childrens' lives and destabilize international relations. no more or less important than anyone else who gets in his way in his quest to stop desperado and armstrong.

so honestly, even if sam did mean any of his little comments, it wouldn't matter. it wouldn't matter, because to raiden, he's just another selfish, heartless bastard who doesn't care how many innocent people suffer as long as he gets what he wants. and to think he even tries to take the moral high ground! there's absolutely nothing worth looking at in their 'relationship' because they don't have one.

so yeah. suffice it to say, there's nothing there, and people who act like there is should make sure they stretch before they pull a muscle reaching that hard.

#ask #anon

[wack-jokes-and-hollow-rants]

Rant 13

Really uh, not sure how to feel here. As the evident usual, this rant will be about my feelings of loneliness or isolation. I guess with some deeper thought it’s fitting that I’d go to my blog where I can talk to no one, when I feel like I wanna talk to someone but don’t have a particular someone I feel I can talk to about this. It’s an odd rant though because I’m all over the place on the “upset” scale here, other than the deepest and shallowest ends. I’m really not sure how I feel about it, or how I should feel about it, or how I want to feel about it, or even how I’m allowed to feel about it. To frame it in nice, vague terms: I’ve learned something. Something that I would’ve known sooner if anyone cared to tell me. And it’s not important, and it’s nothing that needed to be told to me. But idunno, just that I went so long not knowing, I guess I ended up taking it personally. Like, nobody cared to clue me in. A few people even cared to not clue me in, because it wasn’t important enough and they thought it’d be a little joke to not tell me I guess. I could almost take insult in that, but I don’t. I just see the writing on the wall: I didn’t know, nobody felt like changing that. I was just, not important enough to consider here one way or the other. To any given listener, other than probably wanting to desperately probe for some elaboration, I think they’d be understanding enough; they’d say yeah I can see why that’d be upsetting, if you felt like it’d be nice to know, or nice to be told. It’s not quite just that though, it’s more what that type of thing illuminates. I sort of just, don’t have someone for stuff like that, for the little things to be clued in on. I don’t have My People:tm: I guess. And the people I half-hang around, or the people I’m happy to see who are happy to see me but no futher... and so on, I guess they’re nice and they probably think I’m nice but I’m not really close to them. And for a bit I’ve been hoping that’d change, on their part. It’s more flattering that way y’know? Hey, we enjoy each other, but also I enjoy you enough that I’d like to know you better, to be closer. Let’s find more time for each other.... That sorta thing, it’s way nicer than me feeling like I’m trying to wedge my way into their life. That third wheel feeling, y’know, of just latching onto the fun of others. But now when I think about it? Idunno if that’s even what I want. It could be cowardice of course: if they’re not acting and I don’t plan on acting I should just remove that desire right? But truly thinking it out I can’t say just how well we’d get along, how close we’d be, anything like that. They’ve got close people, they’re happy to just be pleasant company with me. Why would they probe deeper, or want more from me? Whereas I still don’t have that, that sort of closeness. Someone to fill that role so I don’t feel this neediness where I want even those close to me to be closer and closer. Where even with friends and social approval I feel like I need something better and stronger and more approving. Maybe it’s outright love, maybe I’m at that point in life where I just really fucking want someone to love and someone to love me. Maybe it’s this one seed in me that’s gone unwatered and I just keep soaking the rest of me and wondering what’s wrong. Or maybe there’s just this closeness, this level of friendship I’ve been missing that I’ve always just assumed of other, lesser kinship. The end result lands the same though: I feel as though I need someone, or someones. And it makes me feel this sort of miserable and lonely and sad, and worse I don’t know how to get someone. People are difficult, for me anyway. I don’t open up too well in ways that matter. I don’t often care about when people open up to me. I don’t quite love the way I want to be loved, and it’s not really fair, so I can’t just hope to find an endless admirer. That’s Hurdle 3 though, Hurdle 2 is that even if I were the more willing and caring type, dating and socializing are very hit and miss, I can’t exactly just go out into the world and grab my love, or my family, or my best friend. It’s trial and error, and I’m impatient. I wouldn’t want to deal with the wrong people, certainly not many wrong people if need be, for the reward of finding the right one(s) someday. Hurdle 1 though, the steepest? I’m not willing to talk with people period. Those I socialize with so far are about all I’ve got these days, and I’m “happy” with that for the most part. It takes some effort and care to even keep up with that much at times, so how can I go and spread myself thinner in hopes of others to be with? It sounds like work I don’t want and I’m way too antisocial to suck it up. In ways I’m happy being alone, but... I guess when it’s also something similar to my only option I start thinking the grass looks quite green on the other side.

#WaJoAnHoRa #needed this out of my system #maybe one day life will throw me a bone or I'll finally adapt #but for now it's moaning and groaning as all the wrong kind of nothing happens #weirdly this rant made me like actually sleepy #like I keep fluttering my eyes a bit and wanting to doze off

[bestworstcase]

I like your thoughts on how Rapunzel was handling things wrong in “Rapunzel: Day One.” The episode tries to imply that Cassandra is wrong for not sharing her feelings with Rapunzel, but is a Rapunzel really the person Cassandra should be opening up to? Rapunzel never respects Cassandra’s boundaries. Cassandra’s a private person. Rapunzel doesn’t respect that. And just because Cassandra doesn’t want to open up to everyone doesn’t mean that she’s bottling things up.

ok so this is gonna be a long one bc tbh i like. fundamentally disagree that RDO, the narrative of RDO, in any way positions cassandra as the one at fault for the emotional conflict between her and raps.

to digress a bit - while tts is not immune to Aesop Episodes (e.g. rapunzel's enemy or you're kidding me) wherein the characters close out the story by talking about What They've Learned, ultimately i don't think tts can or should be read as a morality play. it's a story where sometimes characters just... fuck up and the narrative doesn't waste its time on hand-holding or spoon-feeding us the moral.

anyway, i submit that RDO is what i'll call a False Aesop Episode. it follows the basic structure of an Aesop Episode (protagonist acts badly -> protagonist learns a lesson) but the lesson rapunzel learns is a bad one. it's like if you took... say, "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" as an aesop, the False Aesop here is rapunzel confidently eating a rotten apple and then being blindsided a few months later when the doctor who kept begging her not to eat food with maggots in it steals the moonstone from under her nose and runs off into the night with her new demon pal--

and that metaphor got away from me a little bit but you get the idea.

#1: constructing the conflict

the episode opens with cassandra. she's training; we see the sword fly out of her injured hand; lance suggests she take a break, and she answers, "thanks to rapunzel's little trick at the great tree, i have to relearn everything using this hand, so breaks aren't really an option."

she isn't harsh about it. her demeanor isn't all that different from her normal self—she even segues into a very typical concern (that the woods are dangerous and they should all be on their guard) and banters with lance a bit.

what this communicates, immediately and succinctly, is that:

1. cassandra's injury is severe. it's disabling. she's either in immense pain or she's lost all the strength in that hand or both.

2. cass is really upset about this, and not happy with rapunzel.

3. nevertheless cass is keeping her feelings more or less in check; the worst anyone could say about her is she's being a bit more curt than normal.

which is to say, she's acting quite reasonable. she's not taking out her hurt feelings on anyone else or being mean or lashing out, and she's not hiding her injury either. the most concerning thing about her behavior here is actually that she's focused on training so she can do her job instead of on healing or resting or taking care of herself.

then there's a pan over to rapunzel, who is angrily watching this play out while venting to pascal. "i get why cass is mad at me," she says. "she told me—" huge disdainful rolling of eyes here "—not to use the decay spell back and the tree, and i did, and she hurt her hand. but if she had just listened to me and stayed out of it, this all could have been avoided! and i feel like we could work things out, but she refuses to talk about it!!"

line this up against cassandra's behavior and spot the differences.

cass is focused on her injured hand. cass is upset because rapunzel accidentally mutilated her in the great tree. that's what this conflict is about for cass; her injury, and how she feels about being injured.

by contrast, rapunzel thinks the conflict is about them not listening to each other. she does acknowledge that cass was injured, but 1. she puts the blame on cass, and 2. has shoved the fact of the injury to the periphery of the conflict. it's not important, it's just a natural consequence of the real conflict, which is cass being mad and petty and refusing to talk to her about how she's unfairly blaming rapunzel for something that wasn't rapunzel's fault.

[i will add here that this behavior from rapunzel is 100% not knowing how to handle guilt and externalizing it as anger, and this thread of rapunzel burying her guilt gets picked up again in rapunzeltopia; it isn't that rapunzel doesn't care that cass is hurt, so much as she's just not emotionally equipped to process these feelings in a healthy way so it mutates into...this.]

and where cass handles her feelings in a pretty reasonable way, rapunzel rants and raves and draws cass as a literal monster with fangs and claws—she's stewing in her out of control emotions and concludes that she just has to find a way to force cass talk to her, which she does shortly thereafter by ordering—not asking—cass to come with her to search for parts to fix the caravan.

#2: the breakdown of communication

i've said it before but it bears repeating: cassandra might not be perfect, but she's a good communicator. in s1 and the front half of s2, she shares her feelings with rapunzel readily and frequently. when she tries to set boundaries with rapunzel, she's able to be clear and specific about what she needs. when she expresses frustration with eugene or her dad or rapunzel, she's very articulate about exactly what she's frustrated about. she can recognize when politer, softer refusals are being ignored and become blunter and more specific to ensure the message is getting across.

the moments when cass struggles to communicate are noteworthy because they're not normal. they signal that she's in acute crisis. think of how her unhinged rant about adira in RATGT heralded a complete emotional breakdown. she clams up in RDO because it's the only thing she can do to protect herself. because rapunzel is an inexperienced nineteen year old who learned all her social "skills" from a manipulative, egotistical abuser and nowhere in the series does that show more than in RDO.

rapunzel knows cass doesn't want to talk about the great tree, so she isolates cass from the rest of the group with the intention of forcing her to talk about it anyway. she's passive aggressive at first: chattering about inanities and trying to bait cass into 'opening up,' and acting vexed and guilt-trippy when she finds out cass brought owl along. she broaches the subject by going "too bad there's not an open-up-to-your-best-friend-about-the-thing-you-guys-are-fighting-about wand, huh?"

then she leads with "i know you're mad at me, but i did the right thing. i didn't have a choice," which... what can cass even say to that? she acknowledged cassandra's anger in one breath and followed up with "but you're wrong tho" in the next. that statement makes cassandra's feelings about her debilitating injury into an argument about Who Was Right.

this is a game that cass tries very hard not to play. "look, if you feel that way, then it's fine. we're good," she says, which is a statement that is not true at all on its face but - what it means is that if rapunzel wants to turn this into a debate about Who Was Right, cass will concede because that's not an argument she's invested in. cass does not want to put her feelings on trial so rapunzel can pick them apart and decide whether she deserves to have them or not.

so she disengages. the sun sets. they camp. rapunzel pokes her again, this time with a more direct approach: "cass, i need to talk about what we both know is going on between us."

and that's when cass throws up a WALL. prior to RDO, when cass is pressed on her feelings, she either: 1. opens up and explains to the extent that she's able (e.g. under raps or RATGT), or 2. flatly shuts the conversation down (e.g. cassandra vs eugene). but in RDO?

"there's nothing to talk about."

"i never said i was upset."

"what makes you so sure that you know how i'm feeling?"

this is cass falling off the end of her rope. this is a cass who spent the last year and a half with rapunzel running roughshod over every boundary cass exhausted herself trying to set. this is cass maybe a few weeks out from rapunzel screaming at her in front of all their mutual friends and then telling her "i am going to make decisions you don't agree with and i need you to be okay with that" when cass tried to open up about her deepest insecurities. this is cass spiraling into despair because she's seen that her best friend cares more about assuaging her own guilt and exerting her authority as a princess than she does about cassandra's feelings.

this is the moment when the friendship dies.

#3: the memory wipe, cassandra's apology, and the false aesop

the details of the tangled-but-cass shenanigans are not super important for the purposes of this discussion. suffice it to say that cassandra lashes out in the heat of the moment, seriously harms rapunzel by mistake, and spends the rest of the episode trying to repair the damage, then apologizes to rapunzel for hurting her. this is, obviously, the correct thing to do when you hurt someone, even if it was an accident.

you see the parallel here, yeah?

rapunzel hurt cass with magic by accident, and then made cass's hurt feelings all about her, blamed cass for the injury, twisted the facts to justify her own indignation, picked a fight about Who Was Right and invalidated cassandra's feelings, and pushed and pushed and pushed until cass blew up and lashed out at her.

cassandra also hurt rapunzel with magic by accident, and then she set aside her own hurt feelings from the argument they were having before to focus one hundred percent of her energy on brewing a cure and keeping amnesiac rapunzel safe, readily admitted her fault, and offered an earnest apology for losing her temper as soon as she could reasonably do so.

if RDO were a true Aesop Episode, this would be the lesson, and rapunzel would of course learn from cassandra's good example and reciprocate by apologizing for the accident in the great tree and her abysmal behavior afterwards—and in a reflection of how cass shared how bottling up her anger allowed it to erupt in a catastrophic way, rapunzel would probably confess that her demanding, selfish behavior came from a place of feeling awful about what happened and terrified that it would ruin their friendship.

but RDO is a False Aesop Episode. rapunzel isn't emotionally equipped to handle the intensity of her guilt, and she lacks the social insight and empathy to draw comparisons between what she did to cass and what cass did to her, so she can't connect the two situations in her head to understand what she's doing wrong. the true aesop flies right over her head, and instead what she learns is this:

1. she was right about cass being upset

2. backing cass into a corner fixed the problem

3. friends really do "just know"

4. being pushy and forceful was the right thing to do.

because the thing is, when cass apologizes for the accidental memory wipe, she truthfully explains why she acted the way she did—she's furious and she didn't want to talk about it, so she held it in as long as she could and then exploded when the pressure became too much—and for rapunzel, i think the explanation and the actual apology get conflated. meaning, cass says "i'm sorry for what i did out of anger" and what rapunzel hears is "i'm sorry for being angry."

and because of that misunderstanding, from rapunzel's perspective her own indignation has been validated and her behavior justified, because she was right all along and cass shouldn't have been angry with her in the first place and now everything is fine--

but it's not fine.

we're not supposed to share rapunzel's perspective here, because she's flat out wrong. nothing is really better and nothing has really changed, except that rapunzel got the talk she wanted and stops putting this intense pressure on cass. so as we enter the house of yesterday's tomorrow, rapunzel is taking it for granted that things are fine with cass, and meanwhile cass is still injured, still angry, still as aloof as she can be without getting rapunzel breathing down her neck again... and then she meets zhan tiri, who gives her everything she needed and couldn't get from rapunzel.

like, to my mind, this is the entire point of RDO, that rapunzel makes this catastrophic mess of trying to patch things up after RATGT and comes out of that mess wrongly thinking she succeeded. the episode is presented through the lens of rapunzel's perspective, but the lines are very wide and i absolutely think the intention is for the audience to read between them and understand the reality that rapunzel has sort of blinded herself to.

#tts #rta #interpersonal conflict......good #theres also a whole separate layer of stuff going on in RDO w the class dynamic #this fight coming on the heels of raps pulling rank in RATGT and all but ordering cass to shut up and deal. like - #in RDO cass is Literally Doing What Rapunzel Ordered Her To Do #being okay with the decisions rapunzel made that hurt her #except that's not what rapunzel wants really. rapunzel wants cass to be her friend #but cass learnt in RATGT that her friendship can't transcend her servitude #she knows now that when push comes to shove rapunzel will treat her like a servant so... she acts accordingly #er #long post

[johaerys-writes]

Fandom: The Song of Achilles

Pairing: Achilles/Patroclus

Summary:

Patroclus is a sailor, and Achilles a merman that saves his life when his ship is caught in a storm. The two end up on a deserted island, and the friendship that develops between them will change both of their lives for good.

Chapter 3: The Nymph Who Became Star, the penultimate chapter of my Merman AU Fall Into Your Tide is up! Art is by the wonderful @katartstrophe​ :)

Read on Ao3! Or read from the beginning

Once upon a time, deep in the Laconian mountains, there lived a nymph. The forest was her home; she walked the woods and swam in the streams, protected the animals that lived there and helped the trees and plants grow strong.

One day, she met a young man from a nearby village. He was a healer’s apprentice, and had ventured deep into the forest in search of medicinal plants. Touched by his gentle manners and dedication to his craft, the nymph decided to help him and share her knowledge with him. The man returned the next day, and the day after that, bringing her gifts of flowers and honeyed sweets. His visits became a regular occurrence; they would spend hours together, talking and gathering herbs, exploring the forest. It wasn’t long before the two fell in love.

Months passed in peaceful bliss. However, when the next summer came, a terrible war broke out with a neighbouring state, and the man was called away from his village and sent to battle.

Endless days rolled by without him. The nymph waited and waited, fearing the worst, for she knew well how fickle and short the lives of humans were, winked out in a fateful instant like the flame of a candle. Finally, after several months, the war came to an end. The men who had gone to battle returned— or what was left of them.

The young man did not come to her. Overcome by worry, the nymph decided to approach the village in hopes of seeing him, even though she had always kept her distance from humans and their settlements. When she finally found his house amidst the multitudes of others, she hid in the trees of the garden and peeked inside.

She was overjoyed to see that her love was still alive, but her relief was short-lived. He had been grievously wounded, and his life was hanging by a thread. The healers of the village had done what they could, and all that was left was prayer. Incense burned around him night and day, while he lay on the bed, pale and unmoving.

The nymph's heart ached with longing and grief, such that she had never known in her long life. Tearful and distraught, she returned to her forest, determined to find some way to help him.

She searched for the other nymphs, much older and more experienced than her in the art of healing. None knew of a way to bring back someone that was only a breath away from crossing Hades’ rivers.

“Death cannot be healed,” they admonished her, “and it should not.”

The nymph listened to no one. She kept asking, kept searching. Only a dryad, knowledgeable and wise and older than the forest itself, her skin tough and leathery like an oak tree’s bark, knew of an answer. She told her of a herb, one that grew on Olympus’ highest peak. It was the rarest plant there was, unmatched in its potency. It could mend the deepest wounds, cure the most severe of illnesses.

"The gods guard their home well," the dryad warned her, "and do not tolerate trespassers. No one dares enter the Olympians’ realm without their consent. Anyone who does, must pay the price.” T he nymph thanked the dryad for her help. There was nothing else for her to do other than to brave the long and arduous journey to Mount Olympus.

She was quick and silent as she travelled, yet her movements did not go unnoticed. Zeus' eyes were on her long before she'd reached the foot of the mountain. For an oread, a mountain nymph, to leave the safety of her forest and travel such great distances, to cross rivers and plains and deep ravines and pass so close by so many human settlements was unheard of. So he watched, curious, and waited.

When the nymph reached the middle of the mountain, he disguised himself as a centaur, and presented himself to her. When asked where she was going, the nymph told him the truth:

"I have come to gather a herb, to heal the one I love. It grows on Olympus' highest peak."

Zeus was angered by her boldness, but her earnestness intrigued him more. He warned her, not unkindly,“If you continue on your quest, you will make the gods angry. They do not take kindly to such insults.”

The nymph thanked him for the warning, and continued on her way.

Zeus kept following her, taking on many disguises: a deer, a hunter, a satyr. Each time, he told the nymph the same thing, and she responded in the same way: she thanked him warmly, and continued.

When she finally reached the peak, and her satchel was filled with the precious herb, Zeus presented himself to her. He thundered and shone, blindingly bright, in all his menacing godly glory. I nstead of cowering before him, the nymph stood tall.

“I am aware that this is your land,” she told him, “and this plant belongs to you. Whatever price you command for it, I will gladly pay it.”

Zeus thought long and hard. The nymph’s insolence was unparalleled, but he found her bravery refreshing. In the end, he decided to let her go, allowing her to take with her not only the rare plant she had gathered, but also enough provisions for her journey home to Taygetus’ misty peaks.

The nymph returned to the young man’s village as swiftly as she could. In a matter of days, he had regained his full strength; he was lively and healthy again, as bright and fair as he had been before he had left for the war. They were both so glad, that their love shone like a midsummer sun.

It was then that Zeus reached down and plucked the nymph from the earth and her lover’s embrace. He placed her among the stars and tasked her with guarding the very plant she had stolen, for all time. Before he left, he set one of his fearsome eagles upon her, to make sure she would never shirk her duty.

The price for saving her lover’s life had finally been paid.

The Guardian star shines in the midst of the constellation of Aquila, Zeus’ eagle. The star shines the brightest during the summer months, when the plant is in full bloom.

~

Achilles let out a sigh after I had finished. The sky had darkened while I recounted the story, and the stars were now twinkling above us. We were lying on our backs on the sand, still warm from the sun that had been beating upon it all day.

“Olympians,” he muttered darkly, “and their cruelty.”

Many times before had Achilles expressed his dislike of the Olympians. The nereids were Titan-born, and the Titans had not been on good terms with the powerful and arrogant sons and daughters of Cronus for millennia. By the way Achilles’ brow furrowed whenever I told him tales of their many transgressions or fierce punishments of those who displeased them, I could tell that this animosity between the old and newer gods was far from forgotten.

“Why did not Zeus simply let her take the plant?” he asked. “He didn’t need it. He wouldn’t miss it. What could one mortal’s life have meant to him, in the grand scheme of things?”

“In truth," I said, "I do not think it was about the plant at all."

“What was it about, then?”

“Perhaps it was because the nymph attempted to hold on to something she was never meant to have," I told him earnestly. "She wasn’t meant to have a long and happy life with that man; he was dying. Nothing could change that other than this plant, and it was forbidden. She wished to avoid the pain of losing him, therefore she was punished."

Achilles frowned. "Anyone would wish to avoid that. That doesn’t sound like that serious of a crime to me.”

I took a breath, letting my gaze drift over the dark sky above. Achilles’ scent of ocean currents, of salt and sand filled my lungs, warming me. His hand was so close to mine, I could feel the faint heat emanating from his skin, yet I did not dare close the distance between us. Something held me back. It always did.

"Pain is only a natural consequence of living,” I said, and the words sounded dry to my ears, harsh. “Death, separation; those are the rules. Life is the exception. This is how it’s always been, for humans. If the souls in Hades’ halls were released, they could fill the earth ten times over— there are so many more souls down there than up here, an infinite supply of them. The only certainty for any mortal is that, one day, they will die. For gods, it’s different. Life is guaranteed; death is but an improbable outcome. The nymph wished to defy this rule, to give her lover something that wasn't hers to give, or his to keep. In so doing, she would have challenged the order of the world itself. It could not happen. The gods could not allow it.”  

Achilles turned his head to look at me, his large, feline eyes piercing me to the core. The light brush of his breath against my shoulder sent a roll of warmth cascading through me.

“Do you think she shouldn’t have done it, then?”

I stayed silent for a moment, pondering his question. "That is not for me to say," I said after a short while. "I'm not sure it was a matter of choice for her. It is said that, when you love someone, you act to keep them with you for as long as you can." I shook my head lightly. "I have never loved someone like that before, the way the nymph loved this young man. But I think… I think I can imagine what it must have been like, for her.”

The truth was, I had never let anyone too close to me. I did not know what it was like, to care about someone deeply enough to risk everything to keep them by my side, the same way that no one had ever fought to keep me by theirs. My father had given me up when I was far too young to know the difference, and since then I'd had to largely rely on myself for my survival. I always tended to keep my distance from most people I met, and never lingered in any one place or ship for too long. Xanthos was my closest friend; we had known each other for years, but even he would go away for months at a time to return to his family, while I stayed at sea. I had always been alone, and I always told myself I preferred it that way.

I had thought my life peaceful, comfortable, even. A life of hard work and few luxuries, yet it was mine. I was a free man, depending on no one. I had thought myself content. It wasn’t until I had come close to losing my life in that storm, until I had found myself on this island, until I had met Achilles, that I realised how drab and colourless my life had truly been.

Achilles was looking up at the night sky now, his profile illuminated by starlight. The stars shone bright, like a multitude of silver pins on a dark blue canopy, keeping it in place. He lifted his arm, pointing at a cluster of stars right above us. "Is this the nymph's star?"

"No," I told him, "it's this one." I took his hand and moved it slightly to the left, until it was pointing right at the Guardian star, the smallest of the bunch.

He gazed at the star for a long moment. Then, he asked, "Whatever happened to the young man? The one she fell in love with?"

"I don't know," I replied. "That was where the story ended. I never learned the young man’s fate."

He sighed. “I would have liked to know what happened to him,” he said. “What his life was like, after the nymph was taken.”

“You would?”

"Yes." Achilles tilted his head to look at me. “It is the greater grief, after all, isn't it,” he said softly, “to be left behind when another is gone?"

The nightbirds cooed above us, and the chill breeze stirred the leaves of the cypress trees that lined the coast. The world was peaceful, and in the silence that lingered, I thought I could hear his heart beating, a quiet and steady thump between us. His skin reflected the pale moonlight, and in its feeble glow he looked very nearly transparent. When his eyes focused on me like this, soft and dreamy, almost wistful, I knew that I wanted nothing more than to be where they could see me.

I swallowed, willing myself to meet his gold-flecked gaze. Gods, I could drown in those eyes. I would gladly let their shifting currents swallow me whole.  

"It is," I whispered.  

Read the rest on Ao3!

#the song of achilles #tsoa #patrochilles #patroclus x achilles #achilles x patroclus #achilles #patroclus #achilles/patroclus #patroclus/achilles #tsoa fanfic #tsoa fanart #merman au #fall into your tide #johaerys writes

[desire-tenderness]

𝔹𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕖

{This is a fanfic dreamed and desired. All I write about is my feelings, sensations and desires.  TEXT BY: L.M} Day 1 - Embark on the dazzle. October 9, 2023, Monday. I am exhausted, the recording will begin on Tuesday at 11 am. I think I slept only 3 hours and 20 minutes or I’m just kicking it out loud. This was a very tiring trip I confess. Maybe because it was almost a change of two months and a week. On the bright side, the production has provided a nice apartment for me to live in. My new home is beautiful and comfortable, one block away from Crescent Street, here in Montreal - Canada. Honestly, I can’t believe I’m finally having the opportunity to work with Xavier Dolan, I left my family in Brazil to embark on this dream, I already miss them. I should tell you that I have no idea of the cast that will be on this project, but the script looks fabulous. Before I embarked on this opportunity, I realized a portion of the dream. I and 7 other members of the team dined with Dolan last Thursday, debated the first decupagents and agendas. We had already read the script before the meeting, is it a low-budget experimental drama, and honestly? I lost my breath. I’m not in the position of art director I’ve always dreamed of, but I’m in the position where I have full knowledge and experience. Curious, I am not trembling with nerves, I am completely at peace with this realization. However, very anxious. We’re less than two hours away from reuniting in Saint-Laurent with the cast of "A race by Joseph". [.... ] - Less than two hours later. Okay, I’m about to get my guts out from all the nerves. I’ve heard of some names on the list of actors, including Troye Sivan, Vincent Cassel, and Louise Coldefy. The team is sensational and fucking, Xavier is like a master for me. I need to make these days my best college. I’m at home/rental number six, it’s wonderful. I can see two cars coming through the window, and "God bless me so that Suzanne Clément is in this cast" [Spoiler, I wasn’t, I had to accept], I think I’m going to have an anxiety attack, I need to splash water on my face. I lost count of how many times I filled my hands with water and threw it in my face, I needed to understand that I was really living this moment. I came out of the bathroom apprehensive. Céline handed me a cup of tea mix of Sage, Eucalyptus, Lemon Peel and said "Hey, relax, I’ll see you in the living room.. ah, one more thing, don’t freak out". I feel a chill creeping all over my body as I walk through the door frame. Everyone was waiting for me in the room so we could debate the first two weeks of the recording. I could feel my legs swaying to the point of not having enough sustenance to stand. Timothée Chalamet was sitting on the arm of Dolan’s armchair in silence, reading what would be the 4°page of some document. Quickly he gets up and presents himself squeezing my hand gently. Silence has taken over the environment, I don’t remember my name. [I remembered! ] It was remarkable how difficult he was to pronounce it, it made it all very comical, in seconds we were all laughing. At that time, other cast members performed, but my thoughts were so far away that I don’t know if I missed any important information. [Damn, how many questions are going through my head right now? I don’t even have control over them. Stop! Focus, your future depends on this delivery. ]

[.... ] With the passing of the hours I was reasonably more relaxed and with an unparalleled feeling of gratitude for what was happening to me. We discussed the script, much of it together, the day was very productive. I kept looking at him, he’s so funny and authentic, I feel comfortable now. Obviously we wouldn’t be friends, he wouldn’t notice an assistant director [even though I’m the director’s right-hand man]. The team will be dining with the cast soon, it’s 5:47 pm and I haven’t been able to confirm my presence at this dinner. What’s my problem?! Celine: You’ll go, right? We’ll go home together and unpack. Me: Oh Céli, I don’t think I will. I have a lot to pack, tomorrow starts the recordings and I want to do everything right. Celine: No, you are not going to organize things by yourself. Nor has dinner there in the house, let’s eat please, I’m starving. Think you need to catch up! Me: Relax Celi, I’ll do things in my time, have a wine while I cook something and sleep early. Look, Wednesday we won’t record.. We can go downtown and get a quick look at the city, what do you think? Celine: You’re hopeless. Well, I’ll tell you about it. Arriving at the apartment I opened all the windows, and went to cook thinking about what the following days would be like. I decided then that I should not intensify anything, it could disrupt me at work and I can’t let my impulsive Aryan side get out of hand. I decided to go to the disco and see what the last song the host of the apartment heard. Well, did you start playing Nick Drake’s Pink Moon and honestly? I can’t let the pink moon get me. Fuck, I’ve never seen anything more beautiful in my entire life, it’s as fascinating as on screens or in photographs. [Stop! Concentrate. ] [...] 00:01 am The wine bottle is 98% empty now. I have not yet fallen asleep and Celine is already in her 8th deepest sleep. I need to sleep. She said that they were so energized, that the team’s relationship is great and that she ate a delicious Poutine, I found it very courageous for those who will spend the whole day recording tomorrow.  [I’m laughing alone while imagining a disaster] I will sleep and tomorrow will be the first day of my life. I swear I was born now and suddenly everything changed. Things will be built from now on. Timothée Chalamet? I hear you’re a good actor, I don’t know you. Good night and see you soon.

Part 2

Day 50 - And I’m probably happy, could it be different? November 27, 2023, Friday. There are times I do not write in this "virtual diary", my days are super busy. Today we finish the work a little earlier, we finish the movie! I think it’s 4:00 now. Right, and why did I come back to write? Well, I wanted to forget the feeling that took me completely 50 days ago. But today something has happened that does not allow me to escape any feeling that exists here. Louise is severely ill, Christ! We’re at the end of the shoot, she’s Timothée’s date, missing four takes of a kiss between them for her last acting scene. Dolan needed two different angles and he didn’t have a voice voice available so suddenly. Louise and I have very similar hair and what I feared went through Dolan’s mind. "Be the Double" he said. Yeah, Chalamet and I kissed today, and, hell, there was no professionalism on my part or for a millisecond, I feel terrible! I felt like I had been thrown out of a plane and I was in a free fall. My heart had never accelerated so much. My fantasy almost made me believe that one of the butterflies in my stomach was coming out of my mouth 1 minute later. Holy shit! [What if it was not reciprocal? Of course it was not, silly! We are friends. ] I’m so pissed about it, I’ll tell them why.

All these days I’ve really become friends with Timothée, can you believe it? I’ve always been very afraid to talk to him because he doesn’t find me interesting enough. But we have an unusual tune. We had a lot of coffee together, a lot of claquettes I hit due to recording mistakes, we went out with the guys several times, even "alone" and that’s okay, we talked about Brazil and he made sure to go there anytime, I even smoked one of his cigarettes, even hating cigarettes. We were talking about how funny Vincent is and how amazing he is, and we were talking about how they were both working for the first time with Xavier Dolan. We laughed at stupid things until the belly hurt and even bet race in the parking lot next to the location. [He won, of course, has huge legs].

One day we were together cutting fruit for the rest of the team on the set as we talked about Georges de La Tour, "That ordinary painter" I said, and he gave a delicious laugh. He’s much simpler than I thought he could be, carries an admirable humility. And I swear, it was fine, because I was fascinated by that friendship and I could feel that it would last for many years. I’ve learned to deal with your stunning beauty. I liked the way he accepted me and had fun with me. He didn’t think I was silly. I was working for a salary and a bright future, and suddenly I felt I had won the lottery until that moment after the kiss. I feel like I’m failing at my resolve. To finish screwing with my mind, Celine told me something that made me much more sensitive about a feeling that, I swear, once again, I had managed to forget. Although I often fantasized that a mood was going on, I knew it was impossible. He definitely sees me as the cool girl makes him laugh and that he can truly trust. Celine: Look. I, for recklessness, overheard Timothée talking to Troye about you. I did not hear enough but I must say that your tone of voice was of pure indignation... Troye said, "She’s the kind of girl you want so much, you feel sorry for". Me: God damn it, did he hate my kiss?! I’m going to die, Celine! Troye clearly should be making fun of the situation. Who am I supposed to show up at Dolan’s tomorrow for dinner? Celine: Calm friend, you are traveling.. I have noticed things and I will not open my mouth. Everything will be fine, seriously.. kiss the chalamet? How can you be angry about that? [laughed] By the way, tomorrow after dinner, I’ve arranged to spend the night at Julie’s, do you want to go? Me: Oh.. I’m not in the mood to hear Julie talk all night about the new vegan recipes, sorry, pal. Celine: Okay.. I won’t bring you nice things. [My phone vibrated. I was reluctant to look, but it could be work.. ] Text Msg Timothée: I hope you’re okay, you seemed strange going away. Want to talk? By the way, you did well in tonight’s performance, you should try harder. Me: Says my angel, how are you? I am well, of course I am. [laughs nervously and it was noticeable] I was just nervous to have to act for Dolan and know that I will see myself on a movie screen, even if at closed angles. By the way, Mr. Chalamet, thank you very much. I have the seal of approval that interests me hahah Msg of text Timothée: I like it. See you tomorrow? Me: Yes, of course, until tomorrow! Msg of text Timothée: [video uploaded]

Part 3

Day 51 - Ecstasy, landscape of the soul. November 29th, 2023, Sunday morning. I don’t know how to write about how last night went.. I was upset, but I remember everything. I won’t be able to keep this journal after that I’ll tell. We were all gathered at Dolan’s house, drinking and laughing a lot, toasting to finish this incredible project. I already felt completely dizzy and with the warm body, things kept spinning in my head, it was so beautiful. He wore a leather jacket over the green sweatshirt, had a golf cap (Odd Future) hanging on one of the pants straps where his belt was, the black jeans almost on his knee and a red vans, and that hair.. that hair! It’s like a restless ocean. I was wishing to walk across the room and kiss him again with all the intensity that belongs to me, he would like it this time. My body was on fire, suddenly I was frozen, it’s coming toward me. I knew I could spoil any conversation by being totally random and awkward, I was dying of shame in advance. Timothée: Are you happy? Me: Sure, congratulations! You did a great job, I’m very proud of all of you. Timothée: Thank you, but none of this would have been the same if you weren’t on the team, right? Me: Right! [Cheers] [Silence] Timothée: What are you thinking right now? Me: Who you are, Where you’re from, don’t care what you Did as long as you love me..[I started singing As Long As You Love Me by the Backstreet Boys, really?] Timothée: Oh my God! [He laughed almost for the world to hear]. Are you going to Julie’s with Céline? There’s going to be a vegan class. I’d like a pizza, okay? Me: Look.. I also wanted a pizza instead of vegan food.. But I’m getting dizzy and I think I’m gonna go home and do my drunken show in the shower. Timothée: Ah.. Right, you’re dizzy, but you still know how many fingers you have here? [He did an 8 with his fingers] Me: Yes, of course. I’m fine, man, I’m weak but not that weak. Give me a skateboard there! [I screamed, and they didn’t take me seriously] Timothée: So.. we can go for a coffee to break the alcohol and fill the stomach with a piece of pizza, what do you think? Me: Wooah! Come on, send world pizza! [I couldn’t say no, I was completely taken. ]     We got to what used to be a kind of blinker-light coffee, it had a super-hot vibe. We sat down and made the request, we laughed drunk and said nothing that made sense, I felt our friendship alive again. However, the silence and the exchange of looks came, so we could hear the music that played in the background. It was "And I Love Her" by the Beatles”. Suddenly he began to sing. Timothée: "She gives me Everything and Tenderly. The Kiss my Lover brings, she brings to me and I love her." Me: Yeah.. beautiful music. You sing over and over again better than me. When did you start playing music? [My hands started sweating] Timothée: [he laughed] Are you all right? Me: Timmy. .ah.. I think I’m going home to take another shower, rest and call my family, I don’t know. Timothée: Okay, I’ll accompany you, I can’t let you go back alone so late. Me: You don’t need my angel. I’m a ninja! [I made the shameful gesture of a martial coup and tripped. The truth is I wanted him to insist] Timothée: Without that [laughed] let’s go!

We got to the apartment, he came up with me and put his coat on the couch. I offered him water, am I pathetic? He said he did not want to, but that if possible, he would like to stay. I felt as if we were talking by telepathy, I am not crazy. He feels the same. I said he could stay, even super apprehensive. I took two cigarettes from Kumbaya that I made on Tuesday and shouted from the room "let’s get some air on the balcony while we smoke!?". Upon returning to the room, he had put Cigarettes after sex to play, silently. Nothing but the music. Breaths. Another dose of silence. My body pumped blood with so much speed, [says something] I thought. He touched my right hand and looked at me. Those green eyes made me feel warm inside as never before. I got up the courage to pull him to the balcony that led to the fire escape. The sky was beautiful and the wind touching our faces was like a sky giveaway, I needed that fresh night air. Timothée: Do you need me to say it? I can say it. Me: I know what you’re going to say and I’m terrified. You want me too. Timothée: I want to. You make me feel good. I feel my presence truly when I share a moment with you. "Sometimes I think I’ve felt everything I’m going to feel in my life. And from now on, I won’t feel anything new. " Me: I promise that one day I will feel that everything is right. but it feels so wrong. Man, I feel like I’m living a fanfic, and I don’t want to wake up tomorrow and none of this ever happened, or worse, if it’s real, our friendship being compromised by what’s possibly going to happen here. He put his hands on my face, kissed my forehead. Timothée: The heart is not like a box that fills, L. It expands in size, the more you love someone. I’m different from you. It doesn’t make me love you any less. It actually makes me love you more. I want you. Me: Right.. We are here only briefly, and at this moment I want to allow myself joy. I want that, Timothée. And I promise that one day I will feel like everything is fine. He lovingly bowed to touch his lips to mine. Feeling those soft lips against mine, it was almost like an apocalyptic sensation, the world could end right there, would have no problem. We kissed as we entered through the large window of the room, the first pieces of clothing filling the lonely floor of the room. The music Sunsetz conducted our intimate dance. The words "you have to do the right thing, do the right thing" started to disappear from my head.

I feel overflowing out of the body, sensitive, I am under the effect of exaltation, very intense feelings of joy, pleasure, admiration, reverent awe... Timothée. I truly love him. We are lying on the living room floor, apparently wrapped in a curtain that has been disastrously removed. Timothée, his breath is hot, the sound coming out of his mouth shivers my body. We were like the painting of Egon Schiele - Gli Amanti (L'Abbraccio).

Blackout. Light. The voice of an angel reaches my ear. My eyes open. He looked at me in silence, I could smell his mildly sweet citrus smell all over the room. Its aroma stimulates my sensations. Timothée: I’ll make you a cup of coffee. I’ll be careful with the amount of sugar, it’ll be just the way you like it. Keep lying down, angel. Geez, what happens now? I don’t know, he doesn’t know, you don’t know. Anyway, I feel complete.

#timothée chalamet #tchalamet #timothee chalamet #timothee #fanfic #art #xavier dolan #cigarettes after sex #the beatles #nick drake #backstreet boys #movie #music #bright are the stars that shine

[captainsjack]

I am SO MAD there isn't more Shus content. I really liked Phsyc as a kid, just started rewatching it. Within the first episode I was like hell yes childhood best friends to lovers I ship this so hard! And then I found out it's a rare pair bc fandom is racist. Also JRR is half Mexican, and i guess bc he passes it's never addressed in the show and both his parents are played by white actors? How cool would it have been to have had half Mexican Shawn? Idk I'm only on S2, I would love your thoughts

yUp :) you’re 100% correct my dude.

(1) i get the concept of wanting to make a show about platonic love and childhood best friends, like it’s a great idea and i’m here for it and more shows should focus on these kinds of aspects instead of your basic forced romantic love story. but the thing is, if this is what they were aiming for, they... just didn’t do it well.

there’s a difference between friendship love and ... what shawn and gus have. (like obviously they have that too but it goes beyond that as well). if psych wanted to make a show about best friends, they really should’ve toned down the codependency, obsessive jealousy, gay jokes, etc. because, from my experience, that’s just not what a friendship is like.

storytime that no one asked for: i met my best friend when we were 3 and she’s been my best friend for 16 years. we went to the same elementary, middle, and high school together, just like shawn and gus. we’ve always been super close. but we don’t act like shawn and gus.

shawn and gus are each other’s only friend. they spend 24 hours, 7 days a week, 365 days of the year together. they walk next to each other with their bodies pressed together. they touch each other longingly for no reason. they’re constantly just like... gazing lovingly at each other. they joke about dating each other. people constantly mistake them for a couple.

there’s a difference between regular long time best friends, and what shawn and gus are. look at any other tv show with best friends - jess & cece (new girl), alex & mer (greys), ross & chandler (friends).  THOSE are best friend relationships. that’s how me and my best friend are.

but shawn and gus are so much more than that. gus knows everything there is to know about what makes shawn spencer, Shawn Spencer. he’s literally the only person shawn lets himself be real around. he’s the only one who can see past shawn’s facade. the only person who has been there since the beginning and has first-hand knowledge & experience of all of shawns trauma. he’s the only person shawn really lets himself open up to. not to mention the fact that gus is the only one who is never, and has never, been deceived by shawn, whether in regards to shawns emotions or his “psychic-ness.” all of shawns love interests are kept in the dark. but gus knows the ins and outs of shawns personality - his biggest secrets and deepest fears. he’s the only person that’s been a constant presence in shawns life. he’s the only person shawn keeps coming back to. gus is the one who claimed shawn on his taxes. gus is the one who shawn can’t ever fathom not being in his life.

i know what best friends are and what they feel for each other. and this is SO much more than that.

here's a second story you didn’t want to hear: i met my other best friend senior year of high school. let me tell you - that relationship was so much different than what i have with my childhood best friend. we would go everywhere together and do everything together. people constantly mistook us for a couple. i talked about her constantly and she was the first person i would ever want to talk to if something happened. it didn’t mean i loved my other friends any less, but it was just such a different relationship. we were exactly like shawn and gus. down to the details almost.

and yes, you guessed it. i eventually fell in love with her. and when i told my other friends, they had already known before i did.

maybe you have to have first-hand experience of situations like these, but its really obvious to me that shawn and gus’s friendship is completely the same as me and my friend from high school, and not at all like me and my childhood best friend.

because, to me, you shouldn’t have extreme, unhealthy jealousy of the person your friend is dating. you shouldn’t be upset when they start dating someone. you shouldn’t sabotage their relationships because you don’t want to share them. and, obviously, i’m not saying this is healthy in any respect, even if you’re in love with someone, you gotta have boundaries, but. like. this definitely isn't something you do with a normal best friend. i don’t know about you, but i wouldn't propose to someone else and include my best friend in the proposal.

i don’t really know how to explain it, other than, you can’t really understand the difference between a regular best friend, and something that’s just so much more than that, that you end up falling in love with them, unless you experience it yourself. those little touches, glances, half-assed “date me” jokes, mean something. if you know, you know.

i guess what i’m trying to say is that, if psych wanted a show about best friends, then they didn’t achieve that.

because what they gave us was a story about childhood best friends falling in love, and never doing anything about it because they’re too afraid to risk their friendship.

and, maybe, if the show had been made now, they wouldn’t have been as scared to have a main queer couple in a show. maybe they wouldn’t have forced the only woman character with the main guy, just so they didn't have to deal with admitting the fact that shawn and gus belong together.

if they wanted the main love story to be between jules and shawn, then they shouldn’t have written shawn and gus with so much chemistry.

and even if i’m wrong about all this, if my idea of friendship isn’t correct, and shawn and gus are “normal,” then at the very least, it was a missed opportunity. a chance to have a queer interracial couple as the main part of a show. it was something we deserved.

(2) again, you’re correct. people go ape shit for “best friends to lovers” and “partners to lovers” and mutual pining, and all the other tropes shawn and gus embody. but, make a black guy a part of a ship, and all of the sudden, people say “hm.. i just can’t see them as anything more than friends :)”. because people can’t comprehend black people as rounded, fully developed people who deserve love. i can’t find it atm, but there’s this really good post that talks a lot about this (in regards to mcu, but still stands).

(3) again, you took the words right out of my mouth. there’s an interview with james where he explains why he’s only played white characters in the past.

also, here’s some more discourse about it x x x x.

in summation, shawn and gus are in love, psych fandom hates black people, hollywood is racist, and we deserved more from psych :)

#lmao i really went off here #whoops #sorry this is so long #if you can't tell i love shawn and gus a lot #shus #shawngus #psych #burton gus guster #burton guster #shawn spencer #my post #anon #answered

[emerald-amidst-gold]

Hey! 1,5,8,15,20 for the uncommon OC ask please! 😊

Why hello! Thanks for stopping by! 😊😊

Are you ready for a ramble? Because I'm ready for a ramble! >83 I'm actually going to do this for my Hawke, Rylen! *gasps* Not Fane, you say? Oh, trust me. Rylen's a treat in his own way. Eheh~

1. What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

Rylen is a terrible, terrible busybody. The man cannot sit still to save his life. It's more or less a subconscious fear of being perceived as lazy or not trying to better himself or his family. A lot of the unintentional guilt that Leandra put on him had adverse side effects to where this is Rylen's constant frame of mind. He literally reiterates, "I need to go do something. Check on Anders? Oh wait. Already did that. Should I see if Varric has any new jobs? I don't really need the gold, but..I'll check anyways. Maybe I'll take the mabari out while I'm at it. Don't want Mother getting upset if he pisses on the marble again. Oh! Fen might be around, too! I'll stop by! Then.." He goes around and around in circles, so from dawn til dusk, Rylen is go, go, go. He doesn't stop until Fenris or Varric make him stop, or he just collapses at the end of the day.

5. How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

Act 1 and Act 2 Rylen is more inclined to trusting most folk due to literally needing to, to make ends meet. Now, Act 3 Rylen is where this question comes into play. After Leandra died, Rylen...spiraled. Heavily. He saw himself as a failure, a poor son, and a lousy excuse for a man. It also shifted his views on magic and mages heavily to where any mage they came across, Rylen would hesitate when otherwise he would have helped them within a heartbeat. He realized he needed to be more aware, to be more cautious or the same thing could happen again to his found family. Anders' actions leading up to and including the explosion of the Chantry don't help this mindset. When Anders more or less questions Rylen's need for an explanation before the explosion, that's when their friendship sort of...dropped. Rylen realized Anders didn't trust him and in turn, he began to lose trust in Anders. So, the minute someone close to Rylen questions his motives, after all he's done for them and all they've been through, that's how easy it is to earn his mistrust.

8. What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?

Rylen was a little shit as a child. Not lying. He went out of his way to antagonize the priests and templars in Lothering's Chantry because:

One: He thought it was hilarious every time the Mother who rapped him with a cane because he was 'too wily', found lizards in her pillow or in the unlit braziers.

Two: While it drew attention towards their family, it was in an alternative way. He did it to push the attention onto himself, a misbehaving, mischief child, and away from Bethany.

Despite this, both Malcolm and Leandra lectured him and told him there were other ways he could protect the family. Secretly, however, after Leandra would walk away, Malcolm would turn to Rylen and whisper with a smirk, 'Next time put water on the coals. Make steam to sweat the templars out.' So, it was both to stop and to start doing this trick of his more.

15. How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

Rylen blurts out the first thing that comes to mind. His mouth is a fountain of nonsense that has no filter until he hears himself utter the words. By then, it's obviously too late and he just has to smile like he planned it! Literally upon meeting Isabela, he goes, with finger guns:

"How you managed to do all that without pants is amazing! You should teach me how to do that with my daggers! ...With pants, I mean. Uhhh... I fucked that up, didn't I? I did. I did.."

Internally, he's screaming at himself. Screaming, I tell you. Thankfully, Izzy hits it off with Rylen from the get go, and his boundary-less words don't even phase her. If anything, it helps her relax since she doesn't have to worry about Rylen freaking out when she does her harmless flirting.

20. If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?

Do as the Fereldans do, equivocate with mabari! Not joking. Rylen would literally describe it like how a mabari feels when its imprinted and then bonded.

Loyalty, deepest devotion, and a strong sense to protect even at the cost of your own well being. That's what platonic or familial love is to him. To cast aside all to make sure your family is safe and whole. Especially if they can't defend themselves due to age or experience, or are in a state where they can't fend for themselves, even though they typically could.

Obviously, these aspects could roll over into romantic love, but Rylen sees romance as more of a relationship of mutual respect and unyielding trust in the other - whether it be through faithfulness or believing, knowing the other can take care of themselves in a fight. He would equivocate romantic love as more of when a mabari has tightly bonded with their master. There's a link, a connection, an understanding that sometimes friends or family don't necessarily see or wish to see due to insecurities or not wishing to be a bother.

So, platonic and familial love to Rylen is more when a mabari first imprints. Careful, cautious, still loving, but unaware of specific boundaries. While a romantic connection is when that choice has been tested through trials and tribulations. Those trials yield the fruits of trust, respect, pride in each other, and knowing the other has your back, and able to communicate without fear of boundaries, but knowing and admitting when you have. Of course, this depends solely on the relationship Rylen has with each person he's close to.

***

Thank you so much for the ask! <3 I always enjoy them, and I'll try to make a habit of asking all you lovely people questions, too! Reciprocation is key!

#oc asks #oc: rylen hawke #dragon age #asks #sorry if the last answer is a bit scattered #i need to sleep but i wanted to do this before i conked out lol #rylen is just as complex as fane~ #well no fane is actually a lot more complicated #especially now #my mind just likes to make characters with so much shit going on #rylen just has a huge shift between act 2 and act 3

[chaoticookie-autonomous]

MASTERLIST

Figured I should make one in case anyone is looking for a specific chapter, since there are a lot of ‘em to navigate through and because everyone else has one and got pressured that I should too.

Be warned: long-ass post ahead (links to side drabbles at the end) 👇🏽

Star Wars: Autonomous Pt. I

Ch. 1 “ACT I: Soprano” Introduction to Móni and Maul

Ch. 2 “Dynamics” Móni senses someone is tracking her

Ch. 3 “Shockball” Something goes awry in the middle of the shockball tournament and Maul takes notice

Ch. 4 “Dead is Dead” For the first time in years, Móni uses the Force to make her escape  

Ch. 5 “High Baritone” Enter Maul and all his glory and which we see his first meeting with Móni

Ch. 6 “ACT II: The Shadow” There is immediate distrust between Maul and Móni

Ch. 7 “The Chef” First introductions are made with Móni and Maul’s Mandalorians

Ch. 8 “Jump” Maul makes his first attempt at training his new apprentice

Ch. 9 “Lies” An unlikely friendship forms between Móni and Avin, a Mando warrior, as they face their trials together

Ch. 10 “Mayishka” With the help of a Force-sensitive creature, Móni is transported to the planet’s past

Ch. 11 “ACT III: Control” The planet’s lifeforce shared a fragment of what the Force expects from Móni

Ch. 12 “The Sith” For the first time, Móni feels like Maul is actually teaching like a true master

Ch. 13 “Purpose” Small time skip of Maul training Móni and her progression

Ch. 14 “Deceit” Móni is sent on her first mission with a small team of Mandos

Ch. 15 “Dimachaeri” Complications arise on Móni's mission as well as on Maul's end of negotiations

Ch. 16 “Hate” We go a little deeper into Maul’s and Móni’s relationship as master and apprentice

Ch. 17 “Fear” Being spaced isn’t fun and Maul suggests something only Móni can pull off 

Ch. 18 “Black Krinos” Maul and Móni face off against an enemy for the first time together

Ch. 19 “ACT IV: Apprentice” Our duo get a little closer in understanding one another

Ch. 20 “Respect” Móni builds her first lightsaber

Ch. 21 “Ravi” Móni’s first solo mission that forces her to connect with her past

Ch. 22 “A Promise” The confrontation with her past nearly breaks Móni with heartache, but learns to rise above it 

Ch. 23 “Revenge” Maul finds a snippet of Móni’s past with some help

Ch. 24 “Vulnerable” Móni unveils her deepest secret to Maul

Ch. 25 “ACT V: Embrace” Small time skip and a new mission that involves the entire Shadow Collective, Maul and his apprentice

Ch. 26 “Boudika” Maul and company land on planet Gigor. Móni strikes a deal with the lord of Crimson Veil

Ch. 27 “Possessive” Móni and Maul are stranded alone on an ice planet

Ch. 28 “Touch” It’s not often Maul makes physical contact with anyone. Probably never has

Ch. 29 “To Understand” Our duo’s relationship reaches new heights and revelations

Ch. 30 “Fate” With an unconscious Maul on her back, Móni reaches a settlement of Gigor’s natives

Ch. 31 “Trust” Maul awakes from a nightmare and Móni discovers a new ability

Ch. 32 “Mother” Maul finds a dark fragment of Móni’s past

Ch. 33 “Broken” Móni’s deepest desires are revealed and Maul shuts them down

Star Wars: Autonomous Pt. II

Ch. 1 “ACT I: Móni” It has been several months since Maul and Móni have been in contact until one of them finally breaks the silence

Ch. 2 “Maul” We see Maul’s internal struggles during their time apart as well as his insecurities

Ch. 3 “Time” The reunion they had been waiting for but not how they wanted it to go down

Ch. 4 “Weakness” Móni is beginning to wonder the consequences of her actions

Ch. 5 “Stars” The Gala has begun and Maul didn’t expect the potential benefactor to have ties with his apprentice... or their enemy

Ch. 6 “Suffering” Móni’s past returns to haunt her, breaking her and the relationship with her dearest friend

Ch. 7 “Tangible” Tattered, beaten, and worn, Móni was relieved to see him again

Ch. 8 “Closer” “Apprentice or not, I want you by my side.”

Ch. 9 “Boundless” Everything he kept hidden, Maul finally gave to her

Ch. 10 “ACT II: Zahri” “When I said to not make me regret choosing you, I didn’t mean it,” Móni shook her head at the words that should have never formed. “Because I don’t. No matter what.”

Ch. 11 “Always Two” Maul reveals a little more of his past to Móni

Ch. 12 “Destiny” Maul and Móni take the time to navigate through this new relationship 

Ch. 13 “Lesser Than” Our duo’s relationship continues to expand and to new places

Ch. 14 “Desires” The duo have some new things to explore about their developing relationship.

Ch. 15 “Entwined” “Móni was more certain of his place by her side; the threads of fate entwined into a knot and can never be severed—she made sure of it.”

Ch. 16 “The Beginning” Móni’s origins and her mother’s story are finally revealed

Ch. 17 “The Choice” The final standoff between Móni’s mother and Maul’s former master.

Ch. 18 “Happiness” Bit of fluff and other stuff while the duo locate the final pieces of Zahri’s past.

Ch. 19 “Amidalans” Maul’s instincts for control and destruction are tested when Móni’s life is on the line.

Ch. 20 “Ixigul” The name of Móni’s enemy is finally revealed.

Ch. 21 “Promise Me” Móni is finally within reach, but why does Maul feel she is further away than ever before?

Ch. 22 “Ner Darasuum” Avin’s uncertainty about Móni and Maul’s new status in their relationship raises hard questions no one wants to face.

Ch. 23 “Obsession” Pushed to her limits, Móni sets her mind on a single solution to put an end to everything.

Ch. 24 “Dysphoria” It’s a race to reach Móni and stop her from doing something that could become irreversible.

Ch. 25 “Paths” Despite all odds, Maul chooses Móni.

Ch. 26 “Truth” The thing about lies is how they tend to grow and fester until they can no longer be controlled and hurt those we care for the most.

Ch. 27 “Vanquish: Part One” “The Emperor was no longer the enemy or the source of Maul’s vengeance. He felt it beyond the Force, a reckoning waiting to occur by those he could not fathom their existence of, yet they were the vanguards of the calamity occurring before him and the ventriloquist of Sidious’ life. Beings he could not see, could not sense, could not fight. How could he protect her from such a thing?”

Ch. 28 “Vanquish: Part Two” The final, awaited battle occurs and Maul makes the hardest choice in his life at the behest of the Force’s will.

Drabbles

Domesticity Snippet into the life of Móni and her mothers

Devaron Móni comparing Devaron with Coruscant

Ravi Móni’s first meeting with Ravi

Cultural Identity (Boudika Clan) Details about the culture Móni was raised in

#darth maul #maul #masterlist #star wars #autonomous #maul x oc #maul x moni #durmonia #oc #fanfic #fic

[justthehiddleswrites]

Should… | Tom Hiddleston x OFC (Emma Masters) | Chapter 3 | ... I Let This Happen?

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Emma Masters

Summary: Five years ago, Emma Masters just landed her first big acting gig on a soap opera. While it is not much, it is an opportunity to grow. While out celebrating, she meets up with a fellow actor, Tom Hiddleston. While she doesn’t recognize any of his work, the two hit it off. Before they know, they are getting hot and heavy in the elevator up to Tom’s room. Like ships passing in the night, the two never manage to meet again.Now five years later, Emma is a heavy hitter in the prime time drama world and Tom is a Golden Globe winning movie star. Their paths cross again but things have changed. Will they do what they should or fall to their deepest desires?

This Chapter:  Emma gets to the restaurant and realizes her mistake. Should she let this happen or tell the Tom the truth? And what will be the consequences?

Warnings: smut, vaginal sex, fingering, drunk sex, oral sex, cheating, unhealthly relationships

-

Once the car pulled up to Casa Vega, Emma realized her mistake.

“Maybe we should just call it a night?” Emma offered. “I’m sure you’re exhausted from the auditions all day.”

Tom grinned back to her.

“Nonsense. We are here to celebrate. Besides,” Tom rubbed his hand on Emma’s thigh. “I am dying to catch up with you.” Emma feigned a smile. In her mind, the right thing to do was to go home, but her heart said to throw caution to the wind.

As Tom opened the door and held his hand out to her, Emma’s heart won out. What harm ever came from dinner?

The greeter sat the two of them in a small booth in the back, far from the prying eyes of the other patrons. Tom took the opportunity, sliding right next to Emma. His heat radiated through his jeans and straight onto Emma’s thigh. She felt her cheeks flush.

“Is it hot in here?” she asked, shaking her shirt to create a breeze.

“Feel fine to me. Perhaps you just need something to drink.”

As if on cue, the waiter appeared.

“Bulleit Whiskey, neat. Please.” Tom ordered.

“I… I will take a seltzer with lime.” Emma responded. What she really wanted was a margarita. Maybe two to get through the night.

Tom grimaced at Emma.

“That doesn’t sound like the girl I met five years ago. I half expected you to order one of those fishbowl margaritas.”

Emma chuckled at the thought of drinking half a bottle of tequila as she sipped her water.

“Tequila is off limits. Makes me bloat.”

“Says who?” Tom countered, his brows knitted above his nose. Emma changed from the girl he met in New York.

“My trainer.” she snapped back. “He keeps my nutrition pretty dialed in.”

Emma hated the diet Bryce kept her on. No gluten, no dairy, no refined sugar, no alcohol, and no fun. She realized the importance to keep in shape for roles but every so often she wanted to let loose and eat a cupcake.

“That sounds dreadful.” Tom scrunched his nose up at restricting a diet.

Emma shrugged.

“It’s not bad once you get used to it.” She lied. She never got used to it.

“I can’t imagine going through life without eating a cookie once in a while.”

Emma chuckled at the memory of Tom and Cookie Monster. “Me want cookie.” she giggled.

“Precisely. We all need to live a little.”

The waiter appeared with the drinks. Emma looked over to Tom who held his glass up. She turned to the waiter.

“On second thought, can I get a white wine sangria?”

The waiter nodded and took off to fetch the drink. Tom nudged Emma with his shoulder.

“That’s my girl. A toast…” Emma held up her first drink as Tom continued, “… to the beginning of a beautiful work relationship and rekindling an old friendship.” The two of them clinked glasses and Emma took a sip as did Tom.

“So…” Emma started, “what’s new with you?” Emma dropped her head. What a stupid question! “I didn’t mean… Obviously… you are doing the movie.” She huffed. “I’ll shut up now.”

Tom’s head fell back in laughter.

“Are you nervous, Em?” Tom rubbed her shoulders. “Why on earth are you nervous? It’s not like I haven’t already seen you naked.”

Emma gave a nervous chuckle. Why on earth was she nervous? It’s dinner with an old friend, nothing more. “You’re right. I don’t know what is wrong with me.” She took a big swig of her sangria and felt her nerves melt away.

“Right.” Tom said as he rubbed her knee. “Silver Sable, you must be proud.”

Emma smiled at the mention of her character. “I am. She is the best character I ever played.”

“I appreciate the feeling. If you ever need help with those daggers...” Tom flipped his silverware for effect.

Emma giggled. “You will be my first call, promise.”

With that, the two of them ordered food and continued talking. Tom’s hand worked its way from her knee to lower thigh. He gave a playful squeeze during the conversation every so often, each time sparking something inside Emma. Why is he so handsome?

Once the food arrived, both dug in with gusto. When the waiter cleared the plates, and Tom paid the bill, Emma lingered in the booth. She didn’t want the evening to end. Tom slid out of the booth and offered his hand to her, which she gladly took. When they stepped out, a blast of night chill hit them. Emma shivered. She did not pack a jacket, not expecting such a late evening.

“Cold?” Tom questioned.

“A touch.”

“Let’s see if we can’t warm you up.”

Tom rubbed Emma’s arm with vigor. She felt warmth emanate from the palms of his hands. She gave a small smile as he looked up at him. Tom tilted his head and before Emma said a word, Tom pressed his lips to hers. Warmth flowed from her lips through her entire body and against her better judgment, she flung her arms over Tom’s neck and pulled him in deeper.

This is wrong! a small voice in her head screamed. But her need to be wanted and desired drowned out the voices of her better angels. Tom pulled away.

“Better?”

“Yeah.” Emma breathed. “Um… I need to get home.”

Tom looked at his watch. “Shit! Me too. Big day tomorrow. I’m not just the male lead, but also an executive producer.” Tom led her back to the car. During the ride back to the studio, the two of them didn’t make much conversation. Tom focused on the road and Emma went over the whole scene in her mind again and again. They arrived at the studio and Tom parked the car.

“I had a great time, Tom.”

Tom rubbed the back of his fingers on Emma’s arm. Those damn shivers again. “Me too. That kiss back there, sorry if I was being forward.”

“No, it’s fine.” Emma retorted back, opening the door. “You have a big day tomorrow as so do I. Thank you again.” Emma turned to leave but Tom grabbed her wrist. With a flick, he snapped her back around, and he kissed her again. “I’ll call you.”

Emma nodded. “I look forward to it.”

Emma walked to her car in shock. Why did she say that? The drive home was quick but not so quick Emma couldn’t replay the entire evening in her head over and over. She tried to determine where she went wrong or whether she wanted to change anything that happened.

By the time Emma got home, it was dark. There were no lights on when Emma entered the front door of her home. “Bryce?” she called into the void.

Silence.

She peeked into the bedroom and saw Bryce’s head peeking out from underneath the covers. She changed into pajamas and slid into bed without waking up Bryce, letting sleep take over.

-

The California sun streaming in through Emma’s windows was a rude wake up call. She stretched and found the other side of the bed cold. She sat up and headed into the bathroom before tugging on a robe. Upon entering the living area, the sound of a high-speed blender greeted Emma going. Just what she needed this particular morning.

“Morning, babe.”

Emma saw Bryce in the kitchen, wearing only his boxers, shoving spinach into the blender.

“Morning.” Emma mumbled as she turned on the coffee machine. Caffeine was a necessity at this point.

“Late night? You weren’t home by the time I fell asleep.” Bryce placed a wet kiss on Emma’s cheek as he chugged his shake.

“Yeah…” Emma started, choosing her words with care, “I went out with an old friend.”

She rationalized it was not a lie.

“Anyone I know?” Bryce pressed as he finished up the shake and began doing push-ups on the kitchen floor.

“I don’t think so.”

Still not a lie.

“Where did you go?”

“What’s with all the questions?” Emma protested.

Bryce looked up at her. “I’m just wondering. Do you not want to tell me because you cheated?”

Emma’s face reddened.

Bryce hopped up. “I knew it!”

“Bryce I can…” Emma started as tears pricked her eyes.

“Babe,” he interrupted, “You know how important your diet is. We can’t have you getting fat.”

He pinched her side at non-existent pudge. “I guessed you looked a little bloated. Let me guess, Mexican food with a margarita.”

Emma blinked back the tears. She nodded. “Sangria.”

Bryce slammed his palms against the island counter. “Well, it’s a good thing we have the home gym. An extra 30 minutes of cardio should do it.”

Emma continued to stare in disbelief. She smiled and nodded. “Of course, babe.”

Bryce gave her another sloppy kiss. “I got to meet Dustin and Nick at Gold’s. Are we still on for dinner at Craig’s?”

Emma gripped the counter. “You bet.”

Bryce grinned and slapped her ass as he headed off to the bedroom to get ready. Emma dropped her head and appreciated the cool marble against her forehead.

The rest of the day flew by. Emma received a call from her agent offering her the part in the new movie. She pretended to act surprised. They already set her up for meetings on the project the next day. Emma spent the day running errands, making phone calls, and yes, working out. She changed out of pajamas and slipped on a nice dress to meet Bryce, who texted and said to just meet at the restaurant.

-

At 6 p.m., she met Bryce at Craig’s. Bryce was waiting outside, having changed out of gym clothes and wearing a knit polo and slacks. The polo hugged Bryce’s biceps and abs. Emma told him the shirts were too tight but Bryce insisted the best advertising for his personal training business was his own body. Bryce spun Emma before kissing her cheek, making sure the photographers got a good shot. Emma would have preferred something more low-key but Bryce picked it for date night. She suspected Bryce picked the more high profile places for the publicity, the fact Bryce never wanted to take the back entrance heightened this suspicion. It was Emma’s least favorite part of the business, the paparazzi and the gossip magazines.

They sat down right away, at a table in the middle of everything at Bryce’s request. Emma felt eyes staring at the two of them. She wanted to melt into the floor. Bryce took her hand and rubbed her knuckles. She pulled her hand but Bryce held tight.

“What’s wrong babe?” Bryce rubbed her cheek with the back of his hand.

She hated that and moved away from the motion. “Nothing. I’m tired.”

“You’ll feel better once you eat.”

The waiter came by to get drink orders.

“A Scotch and water and water with lemon for the lady.”

Emma gave the waiter a strained nod. Emma looked around the room. The dim light made it hard to make out faces. But she heard a voice ring out and made her blood chill. At that moment, Emma swore to only order take-out.

“Em!”

Emma turned and saw Tom making a beeline to her table.

“Tom!”

Emma rose in a daze as Tom pulled her into a bear hug.

“We have to stop meeting like this.”

Emma managed a nervous laugh. This was her personal hell.

“I’m sorry. How rude of me. I’m Tom, Emma’s new co-star and you are…”

Bryce stood too. Tom towered a good six inches about him. Bryce puffed his chest out.

“Bryce…”

“… ah yes, the personal trainer.” Tom finished.

“And boyfriend.” Bryce added.

Tom’s face fell for an instant. Bryce didn’t catch it as he looked down at Emma, but Emma caught it as she stared at Tom. How was this happening? she panicked. Tom gave a chuckle.

“Of course, mate.” Tom clapped Bryce on the shoulder. “I won’t keep you.”

Bryce pulled out one of the chairs. “Nah, man. A friend of Emma’s is a friend of mine.”

“Now, Bryce, I’m sure Tom has people to get back to…” Emma waved off Tom.

“…I imagine they can manage without me for a bit.” Tom smirked as he took the seat.

Emma’s eyes narrowed at Tom who continued to smirk. Emma opened her mouth to shoo Tom away.

“Can I get your order?” the waiter walked up, bewildered by a third person.

“Oh, he is not staying,” Bryce gestured at Tom. “I’ll take the New York strip with the mac and cheese. And the lady will have Tuscan Kale salad, no cheese, no nuts, and the dressing on the side. Oh, and a side of sauteed spinach, no butter.”

Emma gave a strained smile to the waiter and nodded. Tom sat silent. Emma rose from her seat. Tom rose, while Bryce stayed seated, drinking his whiskey.

“Excuse me boys, but I need to freshen up.”

Tom’s eyes followed her out of sight. He received a shove as he sat back down.

“She is something, huh?”

“Yes, she is. So Bryce…”

“Call me Bry.”

Tom swallowed hard. “Okay, Bry. Emma told me you are a personal trainer.”

Bryce’s face lit up. He stood up. And lifted his shirt.

“Feel my abs.”

“I’d rather not.”

“No, dude, touch my abs.” Bryce pulled at Tom’s arm but he wrenched free of his grasp.

“I’m fine, thank you.”

= “Okay, bro. Listen, so what is this new project you and Em…” Bryce’s voice trailed off as a girl, no more than twenty walked by in a miniskirt so short the whole outfit should be an obscenity violation and her fake boobs cinched to her chin. Tom cleared his throat.

“Tom, bro, did you see that fine piece of ass walk by?”

He shook his head no, desperate to get away. Emma made her reappearance.

“Did I miss anything?”

“Just a little bro bonding.” Bryce interjected, punching Tom in the shoulder.

Tom laughed and rubbed his neck.

“I must be going. Emma, always a pleasure. Bryce, uh Bry, it has been an experience.”

Tom hugged Emma squeezing her tight before extending his hand to Bryce. Bryce took the chance to pull Tom into a bear hug. Tom took off for his table but not before Bryce slipped him a business card and suggested Tom check out his “Insta”. Tom turned around one more time before ducking out of view. He watched Emma laugh at something Bryce said. Inside his heart shattered.

-

Emma arrived at the studio early this time. It took her some time to find the right building for the meeting. She found the right room and stepped in. Tom gathered around the table with a few men in suits. Tom’s face darkened at the sight of her.

“Emma, a word.” Tom grabbed her by the crook of the elbow.

Tom led her out of the room, down the hallway and into another room. He said nothing the entire way, instead staring forward with laser intensity.

“What is it, Tom?” she rubbed her elbow once he released her.

“How long have you been with Bryce?”

Emma furrowed her brow.

“About a year and a half.”

“You shouldn’t be dating him. He is not the right guy for you.”

“I beg your pardon?”

#tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston fanfiction #tom hiddleston fanfic #tom hiddleston x ofc #tom hiddleston fluff #tom hiddleston imagine #tom hiddleston angst #tom hiddleston smut #tom hiddleston series #should

[inevitably-johnlocked]

HI JUST UR FRIENDLY REMINDER: U DA BEST! Do you know of any fics where John and Sherlock take their relationship suuuuuper slow? Like just kissing for ages not much intimacy until later in their relationship after lots of talking, consent, etc? Thanks!!!

HI NONNY!!

THANK YOU! You’re too kind!!

You are SO in luck, because I bloody love Slow Burn fics! I’ve done lists in the past and I have a few new ones I can add to it! :D Hope you enjoy these ones!

SLOW BURN / DEV. REL. / FALLING IN LOVE Pt. 3

See also:

Love Confessions / Slow Burn / Dev. Rel. (Fluff Version)

Falling In Love / Slow Burn / Dev. Rel. || [MOBILE POST] (April 2019)

The General Idea by agirlsname (T, 3,022 w., 1 Ch. || Retirement, Promise of Forever / Proposal, POV John, First Kiss, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Soft Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Crying / Emotional Sherlock, Love Confessions, 20 Years of Pining) – After twenty years of friendship, John is used to Sherlock acting weirdly. But the news Sherlock finally brings himself to deliver change the carefully built dynamics between them, and John realises it’s time to act.

You fit me, Sherlock Holmes by orphan_account (G, 10,077 w., 1 Ch. || It’s An Experiment, Bed Sharing, Slow Burn, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Questionable Science) – An unfortunate series of events leads to John accepting being a part of Sherlock’s study in physical intimacy. As the days pass by, John realizes he might be in for more than he bargained for. He doesn’t entirely mind.

London Gods by a_different_equation (E, 11,092 w., 5 Ch. || American Gods Fusion || Magical Realism, Sex Magic, True Love, PTSD John, First Kiss/Time, Marathon Sex, Sensuality, Genie Sherlock, Human John, Internalize Homophobia, Star-Crossed Lovers, Soul Mates) – Sherlock Holmes is a jinn who does not grant wishes. However, when Dr. John H. Watson, recently returned from the war in Afghanistan, gets into his cab by “accident”, it might not even need magic to grant both men their deepest wish: love.

A Silver Sixpence by _doodle (NC-17, 16,400 w., 2 Ch. || LJ Fic || For a Case / Case Fic, Fake Relationship, Humour, Romance, Marriage Proposal, Awkward Idiots, Cuddling, Touching, Kissing, Love Confessions, Bed Sharing, Friends to Lovers, Fake Until It’s Not, Schmoop and Fluff, Bottomlock) – “John, we need to get married. It’s for a case, not any romantic notions on my part pertaining to our partnership,” Sherlock said, with brutal honesty, and without even looking up.

You’re On the Air by prettysailorsoldier (M, 20,616 w., 1 Ch. || Unilock, Matchmaking, Radio, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Flirting, Bisexual John) – The Consulting Detective and The Woman dominate the airwaves of their university radio station, doling out advice on everything from meeting the parents to sexual positions. When their ratings start to dip before the holidays, however, manager Mike thinks it’s time for some fresh blood, and who better to fill in the gaps than rugby captain–and notorious flirt–John Watson? Part 1 of 25 Days of Johnlock

The Winter Garden by Callie4180 (T, 31,213 w., 13 Ch. || Post-S4, Retirement, Christmas, Slow Burn, Grown-Up Rosie, Parenthood, Rosie’s Cat, Angst with Happy Ending, Holidays, Beekeeping, Magical Realism, Sherlock POV, Sherlock’s Violin, Future Fic, Sussex, Honey, Magical Healing Honey, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Scar, First Kiss, Touching) – As Sherlock nears the end of his career, he’s given the gift of a cottage in Sussex. The honey from the beehives out back is amazing.Almost…magical.

The Whore of Babylon Was a Perfectly Nice Girl by out_there (E, 32,897 w., 1 Ch. || Past Drug Use, Blowjobs, Toplock, Mentions of Switching, Rough Sex, Background Cases, Sherlock’s Past, Sherlock’s Sexual History, Experienced Sherlock, Past One Night Stands, Fingering, Cuddling, Possessive Sherlock, Paris Holiday, Bed Sharing, Naked Lie-Ins, Bathing Together, Confessions, Worried Sherlock, Laying in Bed All Day, Meddling Mycroft, Naked Lazy Day) – Sherlock walks into a room and takes all the space right out of it. He does the same inside John’s head.

carrying up his morning tea by darcylindbergh (E, 34,504 w., 5 Ch. || Post S3, Minor Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Wakes/Funerals, Estranged John, Pining Sherlock, Depression/Insecurity, Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Chronic Pain/Injury, Reconciliation, Awkwardness, Loneliness, Scars, Angst With Happy Ending) – His fingers tremble as he dials and he can’t force them steady. Familiar number, even though he hasn’t used it in two years. He isn’t even sure he should be calling it now, but she’d asked. She’d made him promise.

we have never seen a greater day than this by Lediona (T, 36,420 w., 7 Ch. || A Royal Night Out AU || WWII / VE Day, Prince Sherlock, Soldier John, Alternating POV, First Kiss, Bittersweet Ending, Homophobia, Dancing) – Peace. At long last. It’s VE Day and Prince William desires to join the celebrations. It is a night of excitement, danger and the first flutters of romance.

Only To Be With You by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (M, 40,768 w., 4 Ch. || Black Mirror / Future AU || Character Death, Future Technology, Sickness/Cancer/Illness, Heavy Angst with Happy Ending, First Person POV John, Pining John, Heart-Wrenching Angst) – I tell myself that next time I’ll come near this same place again. Wait around for the mysterious stranger in his coat to dash past me, hot on the heels of a new criminal in black. I think this all the way back to my Exit, planning where I’ll wait and what I’ll say when I see him. Scheming on how to get his name. It’s only once I reach the Exit Point door that I realize two hours and forty-five minutes have passed, and I realize that this won’t be the last time I Visit. It won’t be the last time at all.

Guidelines by WithLoweredVoices (M, 43,018 w., 15 Ch. || Winglock || Angels, Fantasy, Angst, BAMF! John, War, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Jealous John, Falling in Various Ways) – The Good Soldier, one of the oldest and strongest of the fallen, is offered a bargain: to live as John Watson and to Guide a fledgling archangel so that he will stay on the path of good. Of course, Sherlock Holmes has different ideas about his destiny. Fantasy AU. Warnings for violence, occasional gore, and a whole load of hurt and angst.

Hell Sent, Heaven Bound by ConsultingHound (M, 64,381 w, 16 Ch. || Angels / Demons AU ||  Fallen Angel Sherlock / Angel Cop John, Alternate First Meeting, Slow Burn, Case Fic, John & Lestrade are Friends Before Sherlock, BAMF John, Mind Palace John, Friends to Lovers, John in Denial, Sherlock Picks Out John’s Clothing, Clubbing / Dancing, Mildly Jealous John, Awkwardness, Kidnapping, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Sacrifice, Worried / Anxious Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Immortal to Mortal) – Ex-War healer and current angelic guard John Watson is not having the best day. He overslept, he’s underpaid, and now there’s someone tagging the Council’s building walls. However things may be about to get interesting: there’s an unusual stranger hanging around (the definition of tall, dark, and handsome), a literal underground cult is brewing, and rumblings are coming from hell. Can he keep his neighbourhood safe, how and why is he being connected to all this, and who the hell is Sherlock Holmes?

Being John Watson-ish by elwinglyre (E, 69,902 w., 17 Ch. || Bodysnatcher AU || Author John, Cranky Sherlock, Angst, Sexual Tension, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love, BAMF John, Past Soldier John, Feelings, Inside Someone’s Brain, Shy Sherlock, Sherlock Loves John, POV Sherlock, Switchlock, Slow Burn, Internal Dialogue, Mental Turmoil) – When consulting detective Sherlock Holmes steps on one toe too many at a crime scene, he’s consigned to a desk job in an archaic office on the seventh-and-a-half floor of the New Scotland Yard. It’s in this bleak office that Sherlock discovers a portal into the mind of renowned author John Watson. Grander than his mind palace, this new wonderland affords Sherlock new vistas of experimentation. To learn more about the mystery behind the portal, Sherlock seeks out and befriends Watson. But then it all goes wrong when others find the secret portal door—including the man whose brain he visits.

The Adventure of the Silver Scars by tangledblue (NR [M], 142,458 w., 41 Ch. || S3 Fix-It, Post-HLV/ Post-TAB / Canon Compliant, Case Fic, No Baby, Angst, Humour, UST, Slow Burn, Angry John, Reconciliation, Not Nice Mary / Leaving Mary, Dependent Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Caretaker John, Fist Fights, It’s An Experiment, Virgin Sherlock, Dancing, Drugging, John Whump, Pet Names, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Scars) – It’s been thirteen months since Mary shot Sherlock and John finds he’s still pissed off about it. Sherlock had thought everything was settled: John and Mary, domestic bliss. But when John turns up at Baker Street with suitcases, the world’s only consulting detective might not be prepared for the consequences. A new case. Some old scores to settle. Certain danger. Concertos, waltzes, and whisky.

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #my fic recs #slow burn #developing relationship #idiots in love #Anonymous #fic rec sunday

[piezein]

How To Be A Friend To An Autistic Person

(Or, how I never realized I didn’t belong until I was Quite Old)

The prospect of friendship is never easy. How does someone go about becoming a friend? I’ve lived for so long and yet I’m not quite sure as to how I ended up with all my friends, (who I love very much and who I hope care about me too). I’m convinced that all my friends picked the weirdest kid in the room and rolled with that. They’re nice that way. I love them. 

Sometimes I think I bring nothing to the table. Scratch that, I often believe I bring nothing to the table. Number one reason: I’m passionate about my studies to a fault- and that is understating it. I will shriek, scream, and stim quite intensely should I find a subject of interest. Of course, I never knew this was out of social bounds, never even realized I was stimming when I jumped around the school hallways, wringing and flapping my hands and arms (autistic nga si ate ih). If you’re from a sheltered school and community, you would think it was weird. I drive people crazy with antics like these. But somehow they’ve always just been a little bit amused and just a bit irritated rarely. My dear friend, J., who also has autism, has always been a conspirator with me. I owe some of my passion for physics and math to him. My neurotypical friends are pretty much the same in attitude, they listen to me ramble on and on, and like my tweets on Cauchy or Euler or Maxwell. That support means a lot.

Number two. As a student of science, hypotheses must have supporting data. Thus, to hypothesize the idea of me being autistic is well recorded and well supported by observations of my own behavior. I have this annoying habit of messaging close friends out of the blue with the question, “Is this socially acceptable?” This became quite evident in senior high school. My deepest regard and thanks to C. P., who always replied with a firm yes or no. Mind you that they would help me with situations such as these even without a formal diagnosis of autism. 

Number three is that I am so emotionally and socially stunted that even I am ashamed of what I did in so and so situation. I recall correlating a teacher dressing up as a canonically gay character and asking him, in front of a stunned audience, if he was also gay. Wow Pieze, really awkward. My friends though, also express their thoughts with me clearly, telling me and calling me out if I did something wrong, and in the end just educating me. Because of this, before I began reading up on autism and neurodivergence, I just thought I had a lot of awkward moments. I learned to express myself faster, and to accept my emotions as a healthy and natural response (Spock, is that you?).

I think that it has been due to all the overwhelming support and quiet acts of making the world more accessible to me that I never suspected myself to be autistic. To my friends, I was merely me. I like that.

Fast forward to college, I’m having mental breakdowns every other week, and not because of academic reasons. For the first time I am being fed straight from the breast of knowledge. For the first time I understand and LOVE maths and develop a deeper understanding of physics. I’m at the top of the world and yet, not. 

For the first time I do not have friends, only awkward acquaintances. For the first time I felt creeped out by the way my hands flap in math class and I felt so, so many eyes on me. They are not nice and they are confusing and not gentle or understanding. My classmates mistake my passion for competitiveness (By the way, a word of advice? Don’t take a premed course if you’re a smug bastard. I pity my classmates’ future patients.). They leave snide remarks about a perfect score in Trigonometry (I failed Trigonometry in high school as I couldn’t understand a thing my teacher did or said...or maybe he just didn’t teach), asking where I got a cheat sheet. That actually hurt a bit, because I studied hard for that test and math class was something I looked forward to every week. They urged me to let go of studying in favor of carrying project loads since “kaya mo naman eh, matalino ka naman eh.” (Trans: You can do it anyway, You’re smart anyway). They snarked at my thought process and the way I avoided eye contact. I felt so dirty and wrong. I still do sometimes.

Surprise, surprise, this is when I started to suspect something was weird about me. 5 months of research later and I broach the subject with my dad who just nodded and referred me to a testing facility. 

I still don’t know why my classmates are like that, but I guess they did the opposite of everything my friends in high school and elementary did. It might not even be ableism, who knows. Our country has a deep culture of smart shaming, misogyny in academia, and all sorts of horrible stuff. 

TL;DR is this:  How to be a friend to an autistic person: 1. Love them, faults and all. (Yes, even when they stim) 2. Support them and educate instead if putting them down. Make your thoughts known. Read up on autism from reputable resources or ask your autistic friend. 3. Just be nice. Don’t make them feel excluded or weird or anomalous. Those words should only be used to describe discrepancies in data, not people.

You can be a friend to an autistic person in the same way you would be a friend to anyone. All friendships need equal footing, equal understanding, and slight compromise. Autistic people just show this need in a different way. It is not that good friends and environment remove autism or cure it but that these things support an autistic person in their identity.

That’s it for today. I missed my friends so horribly and I was saddened by a classmate, who I thought was a friend, imply I wanted to see their scores to feel superior. Fool, I only feel superior (and only to myself for that matter) if I get to solve 10 awesome integrals without WolframAlpha’s help (which, admittedly, is not often now. I’m not in a good place guys). 

#autism #my pieze #friendship #august 2020 #appreciation #advice #stimming #cw ableism #tw ableism #internal ableism #ableism

[readbythestarlight]

for the meme: whoever your two favourite characters on critical role are c:

So this took me a couple of days to answer because I couldn’t decide who my two favorites were. I love lots of characters! And then it was like should I choose my two favorites specific to the M9, or should I just try out of the whole entire very wide spread cast of both PCs and NPCs alike. Then I was stuck with not two but THREE, so because I can’t narrow it down any further, here are my THREE favorite characters on Critical Role.

1. Caleb Widogast

How I feel about this character

Where do I start? Caleb has been my favorite from the beginning. He falls 100% into my type of good person with a past they regret, kinda hates themselves, needs hugs desperately. His learning slowly to open up to people, the times he’s (often painfully) admitted how much he cares about them. How he went from by his own admission just using the Mighty Nein to caring for them as his own found family, would do anything for them, would die for them? The times when he steps up and leads and really shines in the part. His book holsters. Like oh my god this nerd carries his important books in holsters!! The flare he puts into his spells. The way he loves his cat.

And like his interactions with the M9!! The way he softens whenever Jester does something nice for him? The special connection he has with Nott/Veth and the way her faith in him pushed him to do all he could to help her. The Team Dad conversations he has with Fjord. The siblingness with Beau, where sometimes they fight and sometimes they hug awkwardly but they would die for each other?? The way he connects with Yasha and they have these quiet moments of solidarity where he makes sure she knows she’s important to them and that she is a good person. And the way he’s clearly to this day still trying to figure his relationship with Caduceus out but he gives him books and stuff. GOD. I love Caleb and I love how Caleb loves his family!!!

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Early on I shopped Widofjord and still on rare occasions get some warm fuzzies if I think about it. I kinda sorta shipped Widomauk but I think that was more like because there was so much art/fic than because I was actually naturally drawn to it.

Right now and forever even if it kills me: Shadowgast. Essek/Caleb. Give me that good good good “falling in love with a man who is the literal shadow of myself, my narrative foil, a drow who I see so much of myself in and who I want to help save if he’ll let me because I know who he is and I know why he’s like this” like god just fuck me up like that why don’t you.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Caleb x self-love and forgiveness.

Caleb and the whole Mighty Nein always and forever because found family is my deepest joy.

My unpopular opinion about this character

Honestly I don’t think I have one. I have certain ships I don’t like but that’s not involving him directly so… Maybe that I hope he always goes by Caleb and never goes back to being called Bren?? But I don’t think that’s likely to happen nor do I think it’s probably an unpopular opinion so. *shrug*

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I sometimes kinda wish all those early theories that Caleb was a werewolf had been true because I really liked those theories.

I also 100% hope that someday Caleb gets his hand on the magic that he wants, gets his hands on the ability to change time–and makes the right choice not to.

2. Caduceus Clay

How I feel about this character

My boy. My son. Listen I loved Mollymauk, I did, but if someone was like “Molly can come back but Cad would have to leave” I would choose Cad in half a heartbeat. He’s so chill and so wise and he cares a lot, he takes care of everyone and even while he’s outwardly so calm we’ve seen that he has all these deep emotions going through him, he feels things so strongly but he doesn’t let them get the best of him. Cad is someone I would want to be best friends with, because you know he gives the best hugs and he’ll make you tea when you’re sad but also you could both pull pranks on your siblings together and it would be glorious.

Also he comes through with some of the cleverest non-combative moves and some really clutch saves and as someone who has always been more of a support character than anything it makes me so happy to see a cleric doing so much.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

No one. Cad doesn’t strike me as being especially interested.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Cad and Fjord. That whole friendship was just so unexpected but has been SO. GOOD and I want to see so much more of it.

My unpopular opinion about this character

He is perfect. He has never done anything wrong in his life and if anything happens to him I will kill everyone in this room and then myself.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I have a couple things so here’s a list:

- I want him to like lose his temper. Just once. We’ve seen him a little frustrated or even irritated, but I want him to just put his foot down and just be really viscerally angry to the point where everyone is kinda intimidated just once.

- I want to see the M9 take care of him. He’s died like, what, twice? And it never really gets addressed. The first time he’d seen his family in years and they were all turned to stone, and it was never really addressed. Cad’s a very calm guy and he doesn’t show his worry or his grief very often but we’ve seen that it is down there and I want to see more of it.

- I want him to either join in on one of Jester’s (less disrespectful) pranks, or else I want him to pull a prank on the M9 all on his own. We’ve seen that playful prankster streak with his sister, now I want to see it with his found family!

3. Essek Thelyss

How I feel about this character

Oh hot boi. I pretty much loved him from day one, and from day one was terrified he was going to be the traitor. Which he is. But I fell for him anyway and I still love him so much, even while I’m also the epitome of that Tyra Banks meme:

I still love him though. I don’t even really know what it is. Probably at first because he was all cool and mysterious. But then he seemed so lonely, and he kept helping the M9 and was especially kind to Caleb, and as they came to care about him I just loved him even more. I like his voice, and I like his sarcasm, and I like the fact that he was supposed to just be this selfish evil SOB and he would have gotten away with it too if it hadn’t been for these meddling nerds and their insistence on being his friend.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

As previously mentioned, Caleb. Shadowgast. On this side of the coin give me that “I see so much of myself in you, bright and curious and determined and full of aspirations, reaching for grand things beyond yourself; I see what I could become if I keep going this way, I see what I could be if I change, I see you reaching out to stop me from hating myself the way you do” and I just. God, guys, I’m so deep in Shadowgast hell.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Essek and the whole Mighty Nein but like especially him and Caleb (if they don’t end up romantic I still want them to be bros), him and Caduceus, and him and Yasha.

My unpopular opinion about this character

He deserves the chance at a redemption arc!!! Whether he succeeds or not is up in the air but he deserves the chance to try, especially since he has already shown regret for his choices! You can fight me on this but most likely if you try to attack me about it I will block you.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Redemption! Like not right away, not in a single act (no star wars nonsense in here where people think one “selfless” act and then dying after means you’re redeemed), but in one or many lifetimes of using his skills to make things better. He can’t undo the war he helped start but he can spend the rest of his lives helping to repair some of the damage and to make sure that it doesn’t happen again.

….Boy that was long. But THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK @jivvin

and for letting me ramble about my boys!! I miss them desperately so it was fun to gush about them.

#ask meme #Caleb Widogast #Caduceus Clay #essek thelyss #critical role #shadowgast

[mikeshanlon]

do you like astrology and if you do what signs do you think the losers are

Okay so shoutout @denbrough (mo) for helping me with this, also @stenbranlons (claudia) for nodding alongin our gc, I’m sorry we talked about this for like a week RGLKNRG. To preface,we are in no way astrology experts lmao, we pulled from several differentsources and picked which ones we felt fit best. Which, that being said, we didnot consider any of the canon birthdays for this, just vibes. Ik some peopleare very particular about astrology headcanons LGRNG so these are just our ownopinions, any differing ones are not less valid or whatever. Also, charts arevery complex and have many different factors, like Mercury for communicationand Venus for love, etc, we just decided to do the main three placements. Incase some of y’all don’t know, someone’s Sun sign is essentially their basicidentity and personality, it’s how we act in the world, and our conscious mind.Our moon sign is our emotional self, our unconscious, how we react tothings, our deepest needs. Some astrologists say this is more like our “trueself”. One’s rising or ascendant sign is our social personality, it is howpeople perceive us, and often how we perceive the world and new experiences—it representsthe “outward”. Some refer to it as the mask we wear around others, though thatdoes not mean our rising/ascendant is fake, but rather how we act and thinkwhen interacting with our environment. Anyways because this is me, theseexplanations became super fucking long so I’m sorry about that! This was superfun though, thank you for asking!

Bill:

Leo Sun: Leos are leaders, theyare very charming and pull people in with their loyalty, humor, and confidence.All of the losers love Bill and are very enraptured by him, Leos tend to be inthe spotlight and adored, so I think this is very fitting. They always want tohelp people but sometimes they can also get fixated and arrogant and end up neglectingwhat others need—for instance Bill being so fixated on finding Georgie that hedoesn’t totally realize the other losers are really scared and getting hurt. Still,Leos are very inspiring and fearless and want their people to be happy. Leosare also quite romantic and generous, which I think are traits that can beattributed to Bill.

Cancer Moon: Okay so I have alwayssaid Bill has Big Cancer Energy, but I think it makes most sense as hisemotional self. Cancers are caretaker types; they want the best for theirfriends and do whatever they can to help them. They are persuasive—sometimes tothe point of manipulation. Many Cancers are afraid of rejection/abandonment(hello Bill’s shitty parents and him holding onto the idea of his brother foras long as possible!) Because they are so caring and sensitive towards theirfriends, they can be quite moody—both anger and sadness. (Bill be Crying andpunching his friends sometimes doe!) Cancers like art and are very imaginative(Bill’s art and writing). When I think of Cancers, I think of tender h*rniness.They fall in love very easily and crave a deep love and can be v thirsty attimes lmao, to me that really encapsulates Bill. Cancer Moons are also verydomestic and love comfort, and while I think Bill likes to go on adventures, Ithink he is someone who enjoys a sort of domestic routine with the people heloves from time to time. Cancer also rules the moon so he’s Extra EmotionalLNRGRG.

Aries Rising: Those with Ariesrising are often leaders, lively, generous, warm, and have a reputation ofbeing a troublemaker. They are rash and jump into situations (HELLO BILL KINGOF DUMB IMPULSE DECISIONS). But, they are very engaging and can be greatmotivational speakers (Neibolt speech teas). They want to help friends to thepoint that if they refuse, an Aries rising individual will refuse to acceptthat rejection. Furthermore, sometimes they can come off a bit like arrogantassholes, but they really do care about their friends and just want to helperklgneg. Aries rising people are very emotional and their impulsiveness cansometimes translate into rushing serious relationships.

Mike:

Libra Sun: Libras are very diplomatic;they bring harmony and balance and can see multiple sides. I think this fitsMike very well, for instance during the scene where the losers are by the PaulBunyan statue, Mike understands why Stan is looking at this logically but healso understands Bill’s emotional reaction. He also understands why Bill andBeverly think they should stay together and help, but he also understands whyRichie/Ben/Stan don’t want to keep going. He tries to get everyone to calm thefuck down and cooperate. Libras hate conflict, aside from Mike’s nonviolence(not wanting to kill the sheep and hesitating to hurt Henry until he knew itwas life or death), he also avoided telling all the losers about why he askedthem to return, showing sometimes his aversion to conflict can be a negative. Librasoften get fixated on one thing—the crazy conspiracist Mike of it all… Iunderstand why people think he could be a Taurus because of his commitment tothe losers and staying in Derry for 27 years, but I think that is super tied tothe idea of bringing justice for those who P*nnywise killed and will try to kill,Libras are super into fighting against injustice. Also, Libras are ruled byVenus and love love and are very charming, I think Mike has a certain pull andmagnetism about him.

Taurus Moon: Individuals withtheir moon in Taurus are very warm, affectionate, and sentimental. They like togather all the facts but can be somewhat impressionable, again I think thismakes sense with how he decides that he believes pennywise exists and hisresearch as he stays in Derry. Speaking of, this line from Mo’s book killed me:“when you’re confronted with a problem you look for the most effective way todeal with it, and even if it’s personally painful for you, you get it handled”.Like. Oh my god. They also like creature comforts—often Taurus is linked withluxury but I think in this sense his ‘luxury’ is his kitschy clutter of thingsthat hold sentimental value—supernatural items, knick knacks from his childhood,his favorite books, etc. He holds these dear and this is probably why his homeis a big ol mess but he likes it and finds it cozy. Speaking of, they are veryromantic and want a life of domesticity, which feels very Mike to me! Theyinvest a lot in their friendships, I think this is true of Mike as well seeingas you know.. he sacrifices years of his life so they can be happy.

Capricorn Rising: Those withCapricorn rising can be quite shy with strangers, but once they get to knowpeople, they are very friendly and warm. They are very dedicated to theirgoals, these goals are often to strive for a better life (Mike wanting to savethe people of Derry, Mike wanting to travel, etc). But sometimes this strivingcan make Cap risings feel unfulfilled and they continue to search for somethingmissing. Capricorn rising individuals are smart and concentrated, they are ableto parse through information and plan ahead, though sometimes they go overevery detail too much—Mike is very into research and understanding things andsearches every possibility. They love deeply and are very loyal and protectiveof those they love. They can worry a lot. Mo also added that cap risings are dependent,reliable, and stable. which can be attributed to mike staying in derry allthose years and keeping that promise to call them. Overall he’s very groundedand down to earth with his rising/moon!

Stan:

Virgo Sun: Virgos are veryanalytical and pay attention to the little details. Often times, this leads tothem being very critical of themselves and others, and they are prone toworrying. I think Stan is someone who tries to navigate through life logically,but he can get caught up in the anxieties of everything going wrong and getoverwhelmed. They often like animals and nature (not to be like Stan likesbirds and plants and shit but he does GLKNRG), and value cleanliness, sometimesthis leads to germaphobia or hypochondria especially because Virgos tend toworry (and we know Stan is a germophobe and deals with OCD, he has to clean thebloody bathroom in a certain way, the painting needs to be perfectly straight,etc.). In friendships, Virgos usually play a role of an advisor—they are veryloyal and want to solve problems but sometimes that means they find problems ineverything (I think Stan tries to advise the group but also Bill is like okaylet’s do it like this

Pisces Moon: Some people view Stanas very emotionless or even angry, but I think he’s quite emotional, he justtries to operate with logic first. Pisces moons are often described as ‘dreamy’and want to escape reality (Stan being like it’s summer let’s just forget what’sgoing on and… other stuff lmao). They are very emotional, but those emotionscan be hard for others to read because they are very mysterious, and even hardfor the individual to express. They have a strange sense of humor (kookiekookie lend me your bonessssss). Those with Pisces moon are very sweet andsensitive to others suffering and are drawn to those in crisis often (like.Literally all of the losers LKGNRKRG) and can be overly trusting (I swear Bill!!!).They are also very afraid of the past coming back to haunt them… :(. Mo the ultimate Stan stan also had this to say: ever since claudia tagged one ofmy posts about stan being one of the most emotional losers but no one evertalking about it, i'm constantly thinking about how stan reacts to things. myinitial reaction was scorpio moon, but scorpio moons are really good at hidingtheir emotions. think about stan's reactions to big events in his life: gettingleft alone in the sewers, his bar mitzvah getting mike's call. he has distinctemotional reactions. pisces is also the sign of sorrow and self-undoing, sothinking back to some canon events it just makes a lot of sense to me. piscesmoons are also really selfless when it comes to their friends, but very strictand disciplined when it comes to themselves.

Aquarius Rising: There’s thissection in Mo’s astrology book that just like. So completely encapsulates Stanand how he interacts with the losers imo: “You are often intolerant of otherpeople’s shortcomings and can be wickedly sarcastic and very funny at the sametime. Your razor-sharp powers of observation help you uncover flaws that youcan poke fun at. You are a system of paradoxes. You enjoy being with people butare perfectly content to be alone. You like to travel but love relaxing athome. You are friendly and outgoing but, at other times, moody and reserved.” Like!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Also, those with their rising in Aquarius are very idealistic and want theworld to be happy and harmonious (Stan being like its summer can we chill andnot wanting to be part of any conflict). They can also feel impatient towardsthose who don’t share the same vision.

Beverly: (imma be honest Bev was the hardest toplace so don’t judge lerngerg)

AquariusSun: To me, Aquarians are the epitome of like… chill/friendly stonerthat likes to talk about conspiracy theories and injustices of the world whiley’all are seshing but they are also kinda mysterious bc you never really knowwhats going on in their head …. which is v Bev to me RLGKNNKRG. Aquarians lovehanging out with friends and are really good listeners, which I think is trueof Beverly—they also have odd senses of humor. They are humanitarians that liketo fight for justice, I think Bev is someone who wants to fight for those whoare being hurt bc it’s something she has experienced and wants to provide thehelp that she didn’t get. For instance, she’s the one who’s like we need to gosave Mike, and she also wants to help save Derry and agrees with Bill that theyshould keep fighting Pennywise during the big fight after Neibolt. Aquarians canbe quite paradoxical—at times they are shy, other times loud and eccentric, Ithink this makes sense for Bev, another quality is that those with their sun inAquarius like to have some time alone, both of these things make me think ofthe moments she enjoys on her own and the other times she seeks out fun withthe losers and does crazy shit like jump off a cliff LKGNKNRG. They can bekinda bad at emotional expression and are very guarded with their emotions,sometimes coming of cold/bitchy until they know they can trust someone (Bev toBen at first on the stairs elrkgnerg).

Aquarius Moon: okay Mo wrote this explanation and I thot it was perfect so: Moon in Aquarius brings upthe qualities of sensitivity and perception. Since aqua is the sign of rationalthinking and humanitarianism, moon in Aquarius gives a person a clear mindsetand kinder outlook on life. Moon in Aqauarius are rational, intuitive, andimaginative, which i think can speak for a lot of beverly's character traitsand actions like her monologue in it 2017 where she tries to rationally explainwhy pennywise is going after them and how they have to defeat it, whereaseveryone else is struck by fear and emotional, or at the end of it 2019 whereshe tells richie that eddie is dead, and being intuitive enough to know thatshe has to tell him and tell him in a specific way, the imagination quality isa clear call to her artistic vision as a designer. aqua moons have greatvitality, they're witty conversationalists, and all around great friends. ithink that the friendliness and sociability of her aqua moon can be offset byher sag rising so there's more balance and nuance to her characteristics there.they're interested in the unusual, specifically in people, which could link herto vibing so well with the losers club. they can't stand possessive or jealouslovers, but they unconsciously choose people who aren't available to them (herfirst husband). they need a fine line between commitment and independence,which i think speaks to her behavior as a kid. she needs the stability and thespace to grow she didn't have from her dad. they deeply value platonic love. overall,aqua moons are independent, they have stimulating minds, persuasive charms, anda side of their personality that will always gear towards the unusual

SagittariusRising: Sagittarians love hanging out with their friends, but they alsohave the desire to be free and have adventures (I want to run towardssomething, not away! Queen). They are wise but optimistic, again I think thisties with things like her understanding that they all have to stick together tobeat pennywise, but also believing that they have the ability to kill It aswell. They are humorous and can be quite outgoing and confident, there aretimes when Bev is v confident and wild (teasing Ben, jumping off the cliff,initiating the rock war, etc). Sag risings are also v brave—like every single timeshe fights It or the Bowers or her dad or her husband. They’re good at tellingstories. They are also people who fight for the oppressed and want to createideas that help the world.

Ben:

Pisces Sun: Pisces are super friendlyand will do anything to help others even if they don’t get anything back(Ben!!!!!!!! Ben!!!!!!). They are very compassionate and gentle with others, I thinkthis is very true for Ben as he is p much always super sweet and understanding withthe losers. Their compassion can sometimes lead to being way too trusting—this canbe a problem bc they could fall in with bad company and hate being criticizedand sometimes views themselves as a victim. I don’t think Ben ever tries to like…capitalize on being a victim or anything but I think he does feel that waysometimes especially in regards to Bill/Bev, but he understands that’s her owndecision, again being very compassionate and not expecting anything out of hisactions. Sometimes their strong emotions can manifest in negative ways, likebeing scared, sad, and feeling misunderstood—they also can cry p easily (Ben criesquite a bit for his friends like in the sewers and his own romantic feelingsand stuff). They are super romantic and love unconditionally. They are also quiteintuitive, I think this makes sense (in tandem with the romanticism) withthings like kissing Bev to save her, understanding where to look into stuff inregard to the pennywise bullshit, etc.

Taurus Moon: We’ve talked aboutthis a bit with Mike, but I think Ben is also a Taurus Moon! LunarTaureans are very sentimental and have deep, strong emotions. They are vromantic and hang on to their relationships, both platonic and romantic, (thepostcard…….) they want a devoted and committed relationship that providessecurity. Those with their moon in Taurus really invest a lot in their friendships,I think friendship is one of if not the most important thing to Ben so thismakes a lot of sense to me. There’s a line in one of the sites I looked at thatfeels SO Ben to me: “Taurus moon sign energy has two speeds: relaxed andcontented […] or hyped-up and ready to charge”. That totally reminds me of howBen is usually p chill and easy going but when the people he loves arethreatened he goes crazy to protect them (the rock war scream and him going crazyduring that LGKNNRG and fighting pennywise, etc). While Mike’s affinity for luxuryis more like…. Kitschy clutter trash GLNRG, I think Ben’s interest in architecturefeels v luxurious and the importance of a home base makes sense for him. TaurusMoons also like to gather all the facts first—this makes sense in how heapproaches his friendships/relationships but also other things like investigatingDerry.

Libra Rising: Let’s go diplomatic romanticslet’s goooooooooo!!! Libras want harmony and are therefore good mediators, theywant everyone to have a good time and are good at teamwork. I think this makessense for Ben and can especially be seen in scenes like the reunion dinnerwhere he tries to calm everyone down and let Mike be heard. They are persuasivebut often do so with a ‘nice guy’ approach rather than like Charm andConfidence like Leo/Aries. Again, Libra Risings are SUPER romantic and havegood intuition, they usually know when they have a chance with someone and willcreate an ideal vibe for their relationships to bloom. They like to plan aheadfor the future with their loved ones (hello argument scene where he’s like imgonna be 30 and far away from here). They also feel like they need anotherhalf, which i think is true for romance but also just like. He needs hisfriends and really loves/cares about them. Those with their rising in Libraalso really care about home aesthetics and having a balanced space, again I thinkaiding in his architecture career.

Eddie

Sagittarius Sun: Tbh, I was v tornbetween sag and scorpio for Eddie’s sun, but I think Sagittarius best describeshis sun and Scorpio for his emotional self. Sagittarians are curious and fullof energy, and they value freedom (hello let Eddie be free!!!!!!). They can besuper impatient and tactless with some of the things they say, which is a veryEddie thing to me lernrgge. Furthermore, they can get angry pretty quickly aswell, and often talk quickly too (Eddie speaks so fucking fast and snaps easilyat everyone erglknegr). They also have good senses of humor; they like to teaseothers. Those with sun in Sagittarius are dedicated to their friends and arewilling to do anything… like defy their awful mother and crawl through a sewerwith a broken arm to fight a murderous clown. Sometimes they have blind faithin others, which I think could be translated to his relationship with Bill andto a more intense and negative respect, his mother. Sags want to find knowledgeand understand other people’s beliefs, and they are very vocal about their own,even to the point of exaggeration (like every single rant Eddie goes on LMAO).They also like sports which like LET EDDIE RUNNNN. Also, not to be a reddie butin looking at compatibility with the signs Gemini/Sag fit so much better forthem and made a lot of sense to me.

Scorpio Moon: Those with theirmoon in Scorpio are very emotionally intense and can be quite dramatic. Thiscan allow them to be quite perceptive of the emotions of others. However, theyare very good at hiding their own emotions because they often disprove of themand deny that they are motivated by their strong emotions. (hello repressedEddie). This helps Scorpio moons feel in control, but it can be detrimental. Ireally love this line from Mo’s book: “you must learn to let go emotionally andfeel your pain, and through the experience expand your phenomenalability to love”. Yup lover!!!! Scorpio moons are also very determined andpersistent…. fighter eddie!! Lover and fighter eddie!!! This made me kinda sad,but it says that there’s usually sorrow/trouble in the lives of Moon-Scorpiosand those are often tied to family and health… :/ and that they think ofescapist fantasies to cope with that. Scorpio moons are sensual but thestereotype of ~super sexy scorpio~ is kind of misleading. They have huge trustissues and don’t want to be controlled (oop… also they usually get married multipletimes lmao), it takes a lot for them to be trusting in love but when they do it’sa very deep love.

Virgo Rising: Those with theirrising in Virgo are BIG worriers and are super analytical, they often noticetiny details. (Maybe a dumb thing but Eddie is always the first to notice whenone of their friends is gone in the sewers, also in more funny and little wayslike him sniffing Ben’s perfume—that also ties in with his Sag curiosity imo).However, even though they notice details and can be intuitive, they miss out onemotional nuances. Sometimes they can be a little too forward and matter offact with people—I think Eddie speaks before he thinks a lot LKRG and can saysome rude shit sometimes without realizing it. (Ik this is kinda like my own stuffbleeding through but in general I think Eddie can be oblivious to other’semotions LRNGKNLG). They are very critical—often towards themselves, they areinsecure and beat themselves up over just about every little thing they do (SUCHan Eddie thing to me). Furthermore, they are guarded with their emotions untilthey have analyzed the situation and feel comfortable (again. Very Eddie tome). This often means they come off as timid and at times cold/stand-offish,which I think in new situations or times when Eddie’s unsure (aka has not analyzedeverything and feels unsafe whether physically or with his emotions), he tendsto draw in on himself and stay quiet. (But, then, his fire Sag side comes burstingout when he just can’t take it anymore and goes bonkers LKGRNG). Virgo risingsare organized and care about hygiene and cleanliness and are very in tune withtheir body (of course, Eddie’s obsession with cleanliness and hygiene/healthhas a lot to do with his mother’s abuse, but I also think there are some parts withinhim inherently who care about those things, it just got exacerbated in anextremely negative way bc of his mother). Interestingly, Virgo risings are veryenergetic, often with nervous energy, and have a hard time staying still—this feelsvery Eddie to me, his pacing and emphatic hand gestures, etc.

Richie:

Gemini Sun: Geminis are superwitty and funny and love to have a grand ol’ chaotic time with their friends,but then can turn serious suddenly. Oftentimes they feel restless and feel likethey are missing their other half so to speak (the yearning… the emo moments…).They’re very sociable and hate being alone, they love to entertain others, theyare strong communicators. Their love for communication often means they feelthe need to talk A LOT, even to strangers. (Trashmouth Tozier always talking!—Mopointed out that Richie’s talking is so bad that they had to create a separate phase,beep beep, just to be like We Seriously Want You To Shut Up, which I thinkmakes sense for all his placements bc they’re all like. One’s where the person talksso fucking much GRLNRG my annoying king

Gemini Moon: Yup double geminilove this obnoxious legend!!! (jk I like geminis but. It’s true. I am also sayingthis as a gemini moon). A lot of the stuff about his sun can be applicable herebut I’ll add on bc I am incapable of shutting up (the gemini moon of it all…) Thisis from Mo’s book again, I’ll just add some commentary/examples as to why Ithink it fits with Richie: Gemini moons are mutable and erratic. they have anactive mind, and imaginative and creative personality, and are inclined to intellectualpursuits. they have extraordinary quick sensory impressions of the outsideworld and they rapidly sift through info in their minds to make judgements.fast learners, high iqs probably , good critics and have the ability to bothanalyze and verbalize (despite some fanon interpretations, Richie is actually reallysmart, he’s good at math/science, I believe he’s also into politics later in college?).they have great charm. conversations with gemini moons tend to go off onunexpected tangents and take sudden turns and reverse (This feels SO Richie tome lekrnglenr). at heart, a lunar gemini is essentially restless and needsconstant stim (Makes sense for Richie for me, also with his ADHD, he needs tobe playing video games or reading a comic or doing this and that, he hatedhaving to be look out and do nothing for like an hour ergklnerg). lunargemini's are always mentally assessing their feelings. they tend to dissecttheir feelings and emotions to analyze why they think or behave in a certainway. they're quick witted and vibrant and can change their minds often. inemotional relationships they display a free spirit, going on the whims of theother person's emotions. at times their talent can be isolated because theylose interest in this quickly and drop their projects. they perform well whenin a relationship with someone practical and hardheaded (inch resting……..)

Pisces Rising: Taking some morestuff from Mo’s book, these lines I think really resonate with Richie’s outwardself and how he deals with the world: “You want life to be perfect and since itisn’t, you choose not to see what you don’t want to see”. That is SUCH a Richiething to me. “At parties Rising-Pisceans are vivacious and verbal (sometimesyou talk too much); you enjoy performing in front of a group. A talent formimicry makes many Pisces Ascendants turn to theater”. Literally Richie… the Voices,the talking too much and wanting to entertain the losers…. Those with Piscesrising are also very romantic and want to live a fantasy life, but they can bevery sad and moody especially because they feel like they are destined to bealone. (Richie yearning gay….) They are also quite disorganized but work wellin groups (let’s go loserssss clubbbbbb!!!).

#it #the losers club #literally im so sorry this is so long LKRGKLRNGR #anon #ask