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#free him from the chair he needs his vitamin d </3
lavistapeworm · 2 years
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hoshino let him go outside and enjoy the weather!! ☀️
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wastelandmoony · 4 months
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Chapter Twenty-Six : Sweet Jane
Summary: In honor of my birthday, here's a short chapter about dr*gs =)
Characters: Remus Lupin/Reader, Sirius Black/Reader (no use of y/n), James Potter, Petter Pettigrew, Regulus Black, Marlene McKinnon, Mary MacDonald, Lily Evans
Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI; mild dr*g use
Déjà Vécu Masterlist
Companion Playlist
Read on AO3
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April 4th, 1976
The pressure of their impending O.W.L.’s was threatening to crush her. Lily and Remus felt it too, and the three of them had begun to spend most of their free time in the library revising, and once Spring reared its mild head, they moved the group outside to at least receive some small amount of fresh air and vitamin D. As the weeks drew closer to the start of examinations, some of the others began to join them, Mary was the first, followed quickly by James once he realized Lily was involved. Sirius showed up now and then, but he couldn’t be arsed to study in the slightest, and usually ending up complaining or goofing off until he had convinced the rest of them to wrap it up for the time being. 
Today was one of those days.
Her and Remus had spent the entire morning on the second floor of the library, quizzing each other on charms. Sirius, looking for James, had found them and decided (through her convincing) that he should probably study just a little bit. 
It lasted 20 minutes until he was leaning back in the chair and charming paper airplanes to dive-bomb students on the lower level. 
“Sirius,” she tried to sound as nice as possible, though at the moment she could throttle him.
“Yes, Yellowjacket,” he gave her the most innocent eyes, the picture of grace and decorum, as she heard another muffled “ouch!” from the floor below.
“You should really be focusing on your O.W.L.s, they’re important.”
He rolled his eyes, “I know, you’ve both made that abundantly clear. Besides, exams aren’t until June, I’ve got plenty of time to revise.”
She was too tired to argue with him, knowing that it was going to fall on deaf ears anyway, and instead went back to her notes. 
After a few minutes of Sirius drumming against the table, he leaned forward and tapped Remus with his foot.
“Mooooooony,” he sang, “I think you’ve studied enough, let’s find Prongs and swing by the greenhouses—“
“The greenhouses? For what?” She raised an eyebrow at him. Sirius hated Herbology, and he had always been very vocal about it.
He crouched lower towards the table, as if about to convey some big secret.
“I’m surprised you don’t know,” he whispered smugly, “Rumor has it, Richie Abbott’s been growing and selling muggle marijuana out of Greenhouse 3.”
“Richie Abbott?” Her jaw dropped, “Prefect, Richie Abbott?”
Sirius leaned back in his chair again, arms folded behind his head, “The very same.”
“And who did you hear this rumor from?”
He tipped the chair back on two legs, the old wood groaning slightly, “Some moody half-blood with a lunar affinity.”
Her head snapped to Remus, who was presently attempting to hide behind a textbook.
“Remus Lupin!” She hissed. He looked at her sheepishly from over the pages.
“Have you been buying drugs from my house Prefect?”
He cleared his throat uncomfortably, “I may have been…partaking in the horticultural excellence that is Hufflepuff House…”
“Do not play that game with me,” she closed the book on the table and began packing up her bag.
Remus grabbed his books and parchment, “Oh come on, don’t be upset! I just…needed to relax—it helps.”
Throwing the strap of her book bag over a shoulder, she turned to give him an incredulous look, “I’m not upset.”
“Could’ve fooled me…” Sirius grumbled.
“I’m annoyed that you didn’t ask me,” she said pointedly, watching as both of their faces slackened, “I know multiple housemates that grow, and I also know for a fact that Richie Abbott is a scheming arsehole and definitely overcharging you.” 
The two boys stared at her in disbelief, and before either could speak, she turned and strode down the shelves and left the library. 
She didn’t get far until they caught up, jogging up beside her outside the Artithmancy classroom. 
“We’re sorry—“ Remus breathed as she continued to walk through the crowds of students.
“You just want me to help you get better weed,” she squeezed in-between two groups of Ravenclaw third years.
“Of course we do!” Sirius threw his arms out, and Remus gave him a glare that said please shut the fuck up, “…but we’re also really sorry.”
She hummed as they rounded the Central Hall stairs, where she saw a familiar red head speaking to someone off to the side of the corridor. 
“Hey Lils,” she stopped beside her friend, happy for the distraction from the two morons trailing after her like needy puppies.
“Oh…hey!” Lily seemed nervous, and when the realization of who she was talking with sunk in, it all made sense.
Severus was sneering at them, eyes dragging to Remus and Sirius behind her.
“Oh Lily,” he patronized, “I’ll never understand why you still surround yourself with this…ilk.”
“Sev please,” Lily whispered, “they’re my friends.”
“Speak up Lils,” Sirius moved beside her, eyes narrowed at the Slytherin, “I don’t think Snivellus can hear you behind that layer of grease coating his head.”
Severus took half a step forward, “Watch yourself, blood traitor.”
Sirius didn’t back down, instead opening his mouth to retort.
“—Enough,” she grabbed his elbow and began to steer him towards the door at the end of the corridor.
“Always good to see you, Sirius. I’ll be sure to pass along your best to your family,” Severus called after them.
Sirius whirled around, breaking her grip, but Remus was there in an instant, pushing his friend around and through the door at the end of the hall. 
Outside in the courtyard, Sirius growled in frustration.
“What a fuckin’ slimy—“
“Don’t let him get to you, he’s just a pathetic little weasel,” she slipped her arm back through his again, steering him towards the glass building across the yard.
“Where are you headed?” Remus asked from behind, still wary of letting Sirius out of his sight.
She turned to glance at him from her peripheral, “The greenhouses.”
Sirius looked at her with raised brows, “I thought you were mad at us?”
“Oh I still am,” she smiled sweetly, “and the only thing that will fix it is to watch you two idiots buy overpriced dirt weed from a pompous pretty boy—” 
From behind, she heard Remus let out a low laugh. 
A smile grew slowly on her face, “—and if you’re nice, maybe I’ll share my top secret Hufflepuff contacts with you.”
Sirius grumbled something that sounded an awful lot like evil woman, making her grin wider.
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Title: Crown For Two {3}
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Henry Cavill AU x OFC Xari Thornton AU
Warning: Plot, Mild Cursing, Cheesy Christmas Themes, Slow Burn, Tease, PLENTY OF WORDS
Words: 7.2k
Summary: Xari Thornton is a travel photographer with a blog and social media that garners some heavy-duty traffic. People tune in to see where she is and what she’s doing there, all in hopes of either living vicariously through her or to plan their next vacation.  
Her slogan; “Traveling the path to the most off-beaten places, so you don’t have to.”  
Her next stop on her four destination travel itinerary of “Places You May Never Have Heard Of” is Sandvell, a small European country. When her plane makes an impromptu stop due to bad weather, she has no idea where she is. It feels like she’s stepped inside of a snow globe and back in time in a modern way. It leaves her fascinated.
This bad weather forces her to stay at an Inn, The Beaux, for the night. Rather than letting the hours tick by in her room, she explores and meets the friendly locals. While taking photographs, one local in particular captures her lens with eyes as blue as the ocean and a jaw that was chiseled from stone. They strike up conversation during their time drinking at one of the local bars, Ickles. Once they separate, she gets herself into a harrowing situation.  
As soon as she awakens, she realizes she’s not in some fever dream, but a palace and the owner of the palace is none other than the local she met before with the piercing blue eyes, His Royal Highness Henry Wellington Leopold Danglishton, First of his name, Crown Prince of Brexendor.
Note: All right, all right people, the ride continues. I really, really hope you enjoy this. As a reminder, it’s going to be fast-paced a bit, and I am gonna overload you with pictures because why the hell not, it’s a Christmas Fic. 😁 Feel free to come by and tell me what you guys think.
As always, thank you all for reading, I appreciate each and every one of you.
If you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!! ❤️❤️
***Loosely Edited/Proofread***
***Slightly Interactive***
Previous Chapters: {1} | {2} | 
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Chapter Three
-Y/N-
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When you opened your eyes again, your head felt a lot different. It wasn’t spinning. It didn’t feel congested, heavy, or muddled. You saw everything with clear eyes, alert eyes. Glancing around the room, you took in your surroundings like it was your first time, though you were sure it wasn’t. Closing your eyes, you tried to remember everything that had happened. You remembered walking through the streets, taking pictures, and even watching the locals go about their business. You also remembered going into a bar and drinking that god awful drink.
 When you remembered seeing Henry’s face, you couldn’t help but smile. Your conversation played over and over in your head and how easy it was to talk to one another. Even his smile and goofy laugh had you snuggling deeper into the plush bedding. He was definitely attractive. All of a sudden, the accident flashed into mind. You’d been struggling with the wind and the snow and couldn’t see not even two inches in front of you. The pain of being hit was absent. It was like it happened so fast that you were out cold before your pain receptors could adequately translate it.
 You bolted up as the words “prince” and “your highness” echoed in your head.
 “Shit, he’s a prince.”
You rubbed your forehead, then pinched the bridge of your nose. Of course he is, you thought. Why would you meet some normal person in this clear fairytale country? Leaning against the headboard, you chewed your bottom lip, beginning to wonder about several other things. One of them was your exchange in the bar. He clearly knew who he was. You were not naïve when it came to the attention of men. There was evident flirting going on.
 “Was he trying to charm me into being some royal conquest?”
 Before you could think on the topic any further, there was a knock at the door. You sat up straighter while trying to figure out the right way to sit. You lied back casually but decided that was too casual. You then straightened your back and took note of how your breasts were accentuated thanks to the proper posture.
 “Too much,” you whispered, slouching again.
 The knock came again.
 “Ma’am?”
 Shaking your head, you sighed and said, forget it. You had no idea how to answer, so you said the first thing to come to mind.
 “You may enter.” You didn’t know why you decided to add an uppity British accent. Slapping your hand to your head, you shook it, already tired of your own shenanigans.
When you looked, it was the doctor you’d seen the night before.
 “Good morning, ma’am.”
 You gave him a polite smile as he approached with his black doctor’s bag.
 “How are you feeling today. Better, I hope.”
 “Much, thank you.”
 He nodded, then placed his bag on the bedside table.
 “How did you sleep? Any pain?”
 “No—well, not severe pain. I’m just mainly sore.”
 Dr. Alfonsi. nodded. “You can take aspirin for those aches. They should subside in another few days, as will the bruises.”
 You nodded again.
 “May I begin my examination?”
 Giving him a demure smile as permission, he approached and began doing all the things a doctor would at the beginning of any appointment. He took your blood pressure, checked your reflexes and your temperature. He examined your eyes, listened to your heart, followed along with your pulse and respiration, all the while taking diligent notes on his phone that he held in the breast pocket of his white coat.
 Ten or so minutes later, he closed his bag and then brought over one of the chairs in the room. Once he sat, he softly clapped his hands together.
 “And that is that. I am pleased your vitals are appearing better and better. Are you feeling the return of your strength?”
 “Not really,” you confessed.
 “As I explained yesterday, I had concerns from the results of a few blood tests I did. Did you know that you have several vitamin deficiencies?”
 Your eyebrows quirked. “Uh—n—no. I didn’t. What do you mean?”
 “Well, in an effort to provide a most comprehensive recovery plan for you, as I do with every patient I see in the royal family and elsewhere. I ran a full panel of tests and came back with several alarming finds. You have a deficiency of vitamin B12, Vitamins D, and E, you’re severely low in Iron and Folate. Have you ever been diagnosed with Anemia?”
 Your head swarmed with all the words and letters he’d just flung at you.
 “Uh—no. I don’t think so.”
 “I am diagnosing it now.”
 You watched his mouth move as he explained the dangers of the deficiencies and listed the symptoms one would expect, which all coincided with what you’d felt on and off for some time. The explanation seemed to go on and on. With every word Dr. Alfonsi. spoke, your breathing sped more and more. He must have seen the terror on your face because he reached out and took your hand.
 “It’s all right, dear. Though it is not as soon as I would have liked, we caught it. we now know that there is a serious problem.”
 “I—I didn’t know. I mean, I guess I’ve been busy these last few months and on the go, but—I never--,” you trailed off.
 “Calm down. It’s easy to fall behind on our health, but it is important we catch up. In order to do that, you’re going to have to make some changes.”
 “What kind of changes?”
 “Lifestyle and occupational. You’re going to need to change your diet, incorporate the therapies and medicines I will be prescribing, as well as taking it significantly easier than I suspect you have in the past,” Dr. Alfonsi explained.
 “Taking it easy? What exactly does that mean?”
 “Well, I mild cases I’ve seen in my years, I’ve recommended a month of strict relaxation along with what I’ve said before. That meant decreased hours at work, perhaps a sabbatical, bed rest until the patient begins to regain strength to prevent chances of falling and bone breakage.”
 “Bed rest?”
 “Yes, and that’s just for mild cases. Your case, I’m afraid, is a lot more serious. While I recommended it for others, for you, I would have to insist.”
 You sat up, giving him a look that said he was crazy.
 “I can’t go on bed rest. That’s not just decreased hours; that is complete incapacitation,” you protested.
 “I can understand your alarm, but that is how serious your situation is, ma’am.”
 “God, please stop calling me ma’am. My name is Xari.”
 “Ms. Xari,” he corrected.
 Several moments passed in silence. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Yeah, you hadn’t gone to the doctor in almost two years and didn’t take multivitamins and oftentimes forgot to eat, but you worked out, ate your greens—sometimes, and experienced plenty of holistic activities throughout the world. You had no idea you were in this bad shape.
 “Do you understand what I am saying, Ms. Xari? If you do not make drastic changes for the foreseeable future, you may not see the blooming of spring flowers.”
 Your jaw dropped. He was laying on pretty thick, but it was working. You were alarmed. Sighing, you rubbed your forehead.
 “What exactly do you suggest then?”
 “What you’re doing now, bed rest. I will communicate with the staff your dietary needs for the coming weeks as well as instructions for your medication--.”
 “Wait, hold up. What? You don’t mean for me to stay here, do you?”
 Dr. Alfonsi looked at you as if you were missing a few screws.
 “Yes.”
You flung your hands out. “Nope. Absolutely not. I can’t stay here.”
 “Why not? I am more than sure the prince would allow you to remain here until you are fully recovered, especially seeing it was his highness’ royal car that hit you for us to discover your ailments.”
 “No. I can’t stay here. I don’t—I’m a stranger to these people. I am—there’s no way. I can’t ask him or anyone here to wait on me.”
 Dr. Alfonsi smiled. “I understand your apprehension, believe me, I do, but it is unnecessary. I have known the prince since he was a child. He is a kind man and would never dare turn someone who is in need and sick away. You will be safe here.”
 Hearing how highly he spoke of his prince piqued your curiosity. It could have been one of those things where one’s subjects loved them so dearly they had not one bad word to say about them, or one’s subjects fears them so much that they didn’t dare utter one negative thing about them. You wondered which was the real story. Perhaps a little in the middle, you thought.
 Sighing, you leaned your head on the headboard, still adamant you didn’t want to stay here.
 “I have a life to get back to. I’ve already been here for two days too long.”
 “Two days?”
 The question in his voice had your head snapping to him. You cautiously opened your mouth to speak. “Yes,” you squeaked.
 “No. I’m afraid it’s been more than two days. It’s been a week since you’ve been here, Ms. Xari.”
 Your eyes bugged, and you instantly began searching for your phone.
 “What are you looking for?”
 “My things. Where are my things? My phone?”
 Dr. Alfonsi looked around the room then walked to a large wardrobe before he came back with your purse. You unintentionally snatched it from him, digging through it for the desired object. Once you had it, you discovered it was dead.
 “Fuck.”
 You began trying to get off the bed, but as soon as you stood, you dropped back to the bed, your legs unable to hold you.
 “I would caution against doing too much too soon. I’m impressed you were able to attempt an escape once. I doubt you’d be successful a second time.”
 “I need my charger. Where are my things? I’ve been off the grid for a week. I have family, people who will worry. I need—need--.”
 Your chest pounded so fast you could barely catch your breath. As you struggled to get a full breath, you began to panic. Dr. Alfonsi was to you on the other side of the bed in seconds, checking your pulse and instructing you to breathe slowly and deeply. You would if you could and wished you could shout that to him. Before you knew it, darkness was all you saw.
 ~~~~~~~~
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When you opened your eyes, you were again tucked in the bed, but you were now hooked up to an IV. You took a deep breath and noted the heaviness that resided in your chest. Groaning, you slowly sat up. Once rested against the headboard, you remembered your mission. Your phone. Kicking off the covers, you used the rolling IV rod as if it were a cane and stood on wobbly legs. After a full minute, you began moving though every step you took felt like you’d fall to the floor.
 What should have taken you seconds took minutes. The steps proved to be more challenging to maneuver with the IV stand. You searched the room, but you didn’t see your luggage. That was when you saw your phone plugged into a charger on the nightstand to the left of the bed. You wobbled toward it then quickly unlocked it. Feeling yourself shake even more, you used the wall as your brace as you scrolled through. You saw the bounty of missed calls, unanswered messages, and emails of alarm. As expected, everyone was worried to death about you.
 “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”
 You found your sister’s number and dialed it. It didn’t ring; instead, it went to voicemail. Your frustration was evident as you knocked over the small glass figurine on the bedside table. You ignored the shattered pieces and grabbed the IV pole, ready to walk out of the room in search of your things. Once you opened the door, your jaw dropped, seeing another luxurious room similar to the bedroom but decked in different colors.
 You took one then two steps, and your knees gave out. Before you tumbled to the floor, you heard a shriek and your name being shouted; then you were in someone’s arms. You looked up into blue eyes that were framed by long lashes and thick eyebrows.
 “Are you all right?”
 You snorted. “We have got to stop meeting like this,” you teased with a soft smile. It was a smile Henry returned.
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“I cannot make any promises.”
 Henry then lifted you into his strong arms and carried you where you’d just come from. As he held you, you couldn’t help but glance over the side of his face that was perfectly in view. If you thought his jaw was chiseled to perfection before, now—you were certain there was not even one flaw about it. When he placed you back in the bed, he hovered over you for a few seconds. They were seconds that felt like minutes, especially with the intensity you saw in his eyes.
 “Xari.”
 Tearing your eyes from his, you glanced to your left to see Anika, your sister.
 “Nika!”
 She leaped onto the bed and scurried across to you, then threw her arms around you.
 “Oh my god. What’re you doing here!? How’d you get here?”
 “I’ve been so worried! I’m so glad you’re okay.”
 Relief filled you, and you found yourself relaxing a little more.
 “I don’t get it. How are you?”
 Anika pulled back with a wide smile on her face. She looked up, bringing your eyes to the man who still stood beside the bed. His arms were crossed across his chest, and a soft smile decorated his lips.
 “Him. He’s how I’m here.”
 You were still confused, and you knew your expression showed it.
 “I couldn’t reach you. I called and called and no answer. A few days ago, I got a call back, and it was the prince,” Anika began giving you a wide-eyed look when she said, “prince.”
 “Henry, please, I insist.”
 Anika smiled and actually giggled before she continued. “Henry. He explained everything and kept me in the loop with your condition. Because of that damn storm, I couldn’t get here. He ended up sending the royal jet for me once the storm passed enough to bring me here, so you’d have someone with you.”
 Wow, you thought, letting all she’d said register. He’d done a lot. You slipped your eyes to him and found them on you.
 “He’s been very kind, Ri,” Anika added.
 You were speechless. What were you supposed to say? Clearing your throat, you said the first thing you thought of.
 “Thank you.”
 Henry nodded and held your gaze. “It was done for you alone and with you in mind.”
 Well, shit, you thought, unable to take your eyes off of his. After a few moments, you heard Anika clear her throat, and it was Henry who looked away first.
 “Right. I was bringing your sister here for you to see. Now that you have her, I will give the staff instructions to see whatever the two of you will need for your stay.”
 “Uh—about that. It won’t be necessary,” you piped up.
 “Excuse me?”
 His intimidating aura increased, making you feel like a disobedient little whose daddy was about to punish her. At that comparison, you had a quick thought about whether or not he was a vanilla prince or one with plenty of shades of grey. Straightening your back, you held your head higher.
 “While I appreciate all you’ve done for me thus far, it won’t be necessary for you or your staff to fuss over my sister or me any longer. We’ll be leaving.”
 Henry cocked his head to the right, then tightly clenched his jaw.
 “Is that right?”
 “Why are we leaving?”
 Ignoring Anika’s question, you decided not to look away from Henry feeling a challenge in how he looked at you.
 “According to Dr. Alfonsi, you’re in no shape to be going anywhere.” He nodded to your IV pole for emphasis.
 “I will stay at the inn that is in town or a hotel.”
 “Nonsense. It was my fault you were hurt, and my responsibility to rectify the damage and harm I have caused.”
 “He’s right, Xari. It’s his fault, and you should let him accrue the expenses,” Anika voiced.
 “Nika!”
 “What! He’s a prince, Ri. He got it,” she replied a little under her breath but still loud enough for him to hear.
 “I must agree with Lady Anika.”
 Anika snorted and laughed. “I’m definitely not a lady.”
 Henry smirked at her then quickly looked back to you. “I must insist you remain here. At least until Dr. Alfonsi has given you the seal of good health. I am afraid if you were to go anywhere, something would happen to you, and I would not be able to forgive myself.”
 You studied him for a few moments, taking in the expression on his face as well as the tight clench of his jaws. Your eyes moved down to his still folded arms and the muscles that bulged because of his stance. He was definitely overwhelming like this, and though you hated to feel like a bother, you suspected that here was the best place for now. Glancing to Anika, she gave you a stern eye that said, “just give in already.”
 Rolling your eyes, you nodded. “Fine, but only until I’m well enough.”
 “If that is your wish, just know you are welcomed here for however long you wish.”
 “My goodness, such a gentleman. They sure breed them differently here, huh sis.”
 Henry smiled, then glanced at Anika. “Everything is different here in Brexendor.”
 “I bet,” Anika finished.
 “Since it is settled, I will proceed to advise the staff. Dr. Alfonsi has already given several strict dietary orders as well as health orders. If there is anything you require do not hesitate to speak it. Lady Anika, I have already instructed a bedroom be prepared for you, but I will instruct it be as close to your sister as possible.”
 “Thank you.”
 He nodded, then looked back at you. “I sincerely hope you feel better soon.”
 “Are you leaving?”
 “Unfortunately, yes. I am afraid I have quite a lot to do today. By all means, though, feel free to go where you please. My home is yours, ladies.”
 With that, he curtly bowed his head then walked toward the door. Before he walked out, he stopped.
 “Oh, Xari, try not to escape again. I cannot guarantee I will always be there to catch you.”
 You saw the hint of a smile on his lips and instantly knew he was teasing you.
 “Somehow, your highness, I suspect you will magically appear at the mere hint of a faint.”
 He chuckled to himself then walked out, closing the doors behind him. Once alone, Anika wasted no time.
 “Holy fucking shit, he is hot as fuck!”
 You snorted and laughed as you relaxed into the bed.
 “Wonderful censor you have there, Nika.”
 “Fuck censor.”
 “Well, that last time I said fuck here, I was looked at like I was the most uncouth Neanderthal. I suggest you keep your fucks to a minimum.”
 Anika bounced you. “Will you be able to keep your fucks to a minimum?”
 “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
 Anika rolled her eyes. “Whatever! The air hasn’t even gotten a chance to come back down from the sweltering levels your guys’ flirting raised it to.”
 Your jaw dropped. “Excuse me! There was no flirting.”
 “Yes, there was, and it was not on your side alone. He was flirting with you too. What in the world is going on? I need the whole story without even the smallest detail left out.”
 You sighed then proceeded to tell her the whole sordid tale. As instructed, you didn’t leave anything out. You even told her about that exchange between you and Henry before you walked out of the bar. At the end of story time, Anika had a huge grin on her face.
 “What are you grinning at?”
 “You. Leave it to you to get whisked away by a prince and have him fall; for you in record time.”
 “No, no, no. Falling? Nika, you’re imagining things. He hasn’t fallen for anyone. He’s a prince, for crying out loud. They don’t fall for anyone, let alone some commoner. Have you never watched The Crown?”
 Anika snorted and dropped to the bed at your feet.
 “First of all, The Crown is whack. Second of all, this is not England. This place is fantastic. It’s like some Hallmark country where everything is beautiful, quaint, and perfect. You smiled and bit your bottom lip, agreeing fully.
 “Third, I was sitting right here, listening to your banter. I think he could totally fall for you if he hasn’t already.”
 You rolled your eyes, ignoring everything she was saying. Anika loved to play matchmaker, though you hated every time she did it.
 “You’re practically in his bed. We just have to get you there.”
 You rolled your eyes again, shocked at how quickly she’d gotten there. “Okay, down, girl. According to this doctor, I’m falling apart, Nika. Any bed I’ll be in for a while is this one.”
 “Well, now you have me here to encourage you to lap up the luxury and hospitality of his highness the prince of Brexendor. Get the fuck outta here!”
 The two of you laughed loudly. This situation you’d found yourself into was the most ridiculous one either of you could have ever begun to imagine.
 A few hours later, you found yourself alone while Anika settled in her room. Another knock sounded at your door. Being unable to open it yourself, you instructed them to come in. Once the doors opened in walked a beautiful girl about your age with long black hair and features similar to Henry’s. In your head, you suspected she was a family member. She smiled sweetly as she approached you. When she was by your bedside, she dropped onto the mattress.
 “Hi.”
 You returned her warm smile. “Hi.”
 “My god, you are beautiful.”
 You snorted, then pinched your lips together, trying to suppress your laugh. She was insane. You looked the worst you’d ever looked.
 “You’re being kind. I haven’t showered in a week and only today got to comb my hair. You’re being very, very kind.”
 She giggled but still looked genuine.
 “I’m Jemma,” she said, holding her hand out to you. Once you took it, and instantly noted how soft they were.
 “It’s nice to meet you.”
 “I have been trying to get here to introduce myself, but Henry told me to stay away so you could acclimate. Otherwise, I would have been here much sooner.”
 You smiled and assured her it was fine.
 “How are you doing?”
 You shrugged. “I guess I’m okay.”
 She didn’t look convinced and took you in for a few moments. “I’m sure my brother has brought all the best doctors for your care and has thought of everything that would ensure your comfort. With that treatment, I expect you to make a full recovery in no time.”
 “Brother.”
 “Yes. Please tell me you did not think I was his girlfriend or something of the sort.”
 She looked disgusted, which made you laugh.
 “No. I suspected a family member. So you’re a princess.”
 Jemma rolled her eyes as she sighed out as if she was already tired of the conversation.
 “Yes, but I promise it is not nearly as glamourous as you’re thinking. The only nice thing about it is the diamonds, everything else, eh.”
 You smiled, already liking her. she gave off an air that said she didn’t take herself seriously and even liked to have a bit of fun more times than not.
 “The staff is all abuzz with news that you will be residing with us for the next few weeks. Henry has told them to cater to your every whim, and because it came from him, everyone is in a tizzy over it, prepping to ensure you are at your most comfortable,” Jemma explained.
 “What. No, that’s not what I want at all. They don’t have to go all out.”
 “It’s okay.”
 “No. then everyone will think I’m some prissy thing who likes to be waited on when that couldn’t be further from the truth.”
 Jemma took you for a little while, then took your hand and squeezed it gently.
 “Not to worry, Xari. I assure you no one will think that.”
 You sighed then tried to forget it because it was too late to change whether or not they thought it. You were sure everyone was already whispering about you and Anika, the two Americans who’d somehow found their way into the palace.
 “Also, we are not as gossip centered as other monarchies. I promise,” Jemma added, raising her hand as if to swear it.
 When she sensed you relaxed, she proceeded to ask a plethora of questions about you, ranging from where you were from to what you did and the all-important if you were single. You felt like you were on a modern-day “Who Wants to be Friends With a Princess” tv show. With every fact, you revealed she revealed a similar one and so on. After an hour, you found that you had plenty in common, something that was shocking for you.
 When Anika came back, the party really stated. Your laughter picked up, as did the stories that Jemma revealed about royal life. Those stories prompted Anika to tell stories of life as a commoner in America as she called it. The only thing was her stories we mainly all about partying, dating, and men. With each story, Jemma’s eyes widened, and you felt like slowly Anika would end up corrupting her.
 “Nika, stop. You’re going to have her on an episode of Princesses Gone Wild,” you joked, which had both of them in stitches on your bed.
 “I will have you know that I am not some innocent wallflower. I know things,” Jemma countered.
 You couldn’t help but laugh loudly. Just the way she said that told you she didn’t know very many things. That was when Jemma proceeded to list the names of the men she’d dated, a list of three men. Anika was the one to ask the nature of these relationships, to which Jemma said she knew in great detail the kind of underwear each man wore. You lost it right then and there, dropping onto the bed in a fit of laughter.
 Exhaustion caught you off guard, dampening the mood of the night. Jemma assured you that she’d keep Anika company and show her around to give you time to take a nap. After thanking her, the two women walked out of your room, leaving you to silence. Once the door closed, it opened again. this time it was the woman named Audrina.
 “Good evening, ma’am. Is there anything I can bring you?”
 “No. I’m all right.”
 She nodded, then closed the door leaving you again. You quickly drifted off to sleep.
  ~~~~~
 -Henry-
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He’d never met anyone quite as beautiful as you. he remembered when you’d walked into the bar and sat down beside him like you were right where you were supposed to be. You had no idea that the bar was empty because it was closed for him to be there, had no idea that he was not some ordinary citizen. He liked being a no one, especially if it meant he could sit there with you all night. He remembered wanting just that. If his phone hadn’t run, if he’d had more time, he probably would have tried to hold your hand. If he’d had more time, he would have gotten himself into an even bigger predicament than he was now—attracted to a woman he knew better than to touch.
 Slowly he looked over the features of your face and took in each detail. He pressed the elements of your face to his memory so he could call on them when he was alone, buried in work. A sigh escaped him as a lite feeling filled him. It was an unfamiliar one. He wanted to touch you. It was an urge that was so strong he almost couldn’t overpower it—almost. He balled his fist and sat back in the settee beside your bed, trying to ignore the feelings that washed over him.
 “Remember yourself,” he whispered before he looked back to the work he’d brought with him when he’d decided to pay you a quick visit.
 This quick visit was an hour ago. When he found you asleep, he should have turned around and left, but he couldn’t. He intended to sit here for a few minutes, ten tops, but he still had yet to tear himself away. He mustered what was left of his control and focused on the screen before him and tried to write his speech for the new world bank’s upcoming opening.
 This was one of his father’s pet projects, and he was filled with pride to see it to fruition, but also it made him miss the man more. Sighing, he closed his eyes and began rubbing his temples. Every time he thought of his father in the last few months, it brought him added stress. It was this stress that prevented him from sleeping longer than four hours a night.
 “Christ,” he whispered.
 “Are you all right?”
 Jerking his head up, he saw you awake with your head still atop the pillow. You looked like a dream, or perhaps his best nightmare.
 “I am sorry. Was I too loud?”
 “No. I um—just happened to open my eyes.”
 You slowly sat up, allowing the blanket to fall from your chest to your lap. As you adjusted yourself, he moved his laptop to the other side of the settee.
 “You didn’t answer me, though. Are you all right?”
 A smile tugged at his lips, but he fought it. “Me? Should it not be me be asking you that?”
 “Can’t we ask each other?”
 He studied you for a few moments, then nodded. “I am fine.”
 “Liar.”
 His jaw dropped, half shocked you would go there. There weren’t many people in his life that would dare.
 “I take it no one calls his highness a liar,” you teased.
 “You take it right. Maybe Jemma or my mother on occasion and a few of my friends but not many.”
 You smiled, then shrugged. “I call em’ like I see em.’”
 He crossed his arms and leaned back. “Pray tell, what gave me away to make you insult me so?”
 Your smile widened before you sucked your bottom lip into your mouth, bringing his eyes right there. He adjusted in the seat he sat and waited for you to continue.
 “Your eyes are red, under your eyes puffy, and one doesn’t just say Christ to say Christ.”
 You had him there. He pushed his fist under his chin and continued to watch you.
 “So you are implying I look bad.”
 You smirked then, and he picked up the change in the air.
 “I mean, I’m sure I look the same as you. So take comfort in that.”
 A chuckle escaped him. “So that is a yes; I do look bad.”
 You looked at him but didn’t answer.
 “I will take that as a yes on my part. however, regarding you, you look far from bad.”
 You snorted then laughed, and it was the most shockingly endearing sound. It wasn’t a laugh he would hear from others in his company. Their laughs would be all dignified, but yours was genuine. It was also downright terrifying, but he preferred it.
 “Now I know you’re a liar. I look absolutely disgusting. I can’t believe I’m going to tell you this, but I haven't showered in a week.”
 He pinched his lips, hiding his smile. You looked so uncomfortable admitting that.
 “Oh my.” He placed his hand over his mouth as if the fact mortified him.
 You pinched your lips.
 “Please tell me you have at least brushed your teeth.”
 “Today was the first day in just as much time.”
 Again he put his hand over his mouth and widened his eyes for emphasis. “Appalling.”
 You snorted again, and the delightful laugh came back. This time the laugh looked to encompass your entire being, and you glowed. When your laughter subsided, you dabbed at your eyes as you tried to catch your breath. He held out his handkerchief to you. When you took it, you used it to replace your fingers.
 “Thank you.”
 When you finished, you inspected the fabric, then looked at him.
 “You must like your women disgusting to still be here.”
 He shrugged.
 “How are you feeling?”
 “After that nap, I’m feeling well.”
 That made him happy.
 “Are you feeling well enough for some dinner?”
 “Uh—I was told I’m to stay in bed.”
 “Yes, Dr. Alfonsi has informed me and the staff as well. That is why--,” he began before walking across the room to the door.
 Once he opened it, the staff rolled in three carts filled with platters, trays, and bowls of plenty. Once the carts were parked, he thanked the staff and let them see themselves out.
 “Dinner is served.”
 The look on your face said you didn’t know what to say, so he uncovered the treys finding the menu items he’d chosen for the meal.
 “I was not sure what you liked, so I had them bring all of it.”
 He took up a plate and brought it to you. It took a few moments for you to take it, but you did. That was when he went back for his to sit back on the settee.
 “Also, do not feel as if you have to eat ladylike for me,” he began.
 You took up your fork and shoved an overflowing fork full of mashed potatoes into your mouth, letting a small glob rest at the side of your mouth.
 “What was that, your highness?”
 That was all it took for his attraction to turn to yearning.
 The two of you ate in silence for the most part. He asked you questions to get to know you better, and every new piece of information he found out only made him like you more and more. When you spoke about your career, he heard the passion in your voice, and it spoke to something in him. It had been a long time since he’d been around anyone who was genuinely passionate about the things they enjoyed. It stirred something in him, something he wasn’t quite ready to uncover.
 “I am sorry that I did not tell you once we met who I was.”
 You paused with your fork in your mouth.
 “It’s okay. To be real, why would you reveal to a stranger your secret identity. That’s like Clark Kent walking around in his incognito glasses with an S on his chest. It defeats the purpose.”
 “Clark Kent. Superman.”
 “Yes, one of my favorite superheroes.”
 A soft smile spread across his face before he nodded.
 “What’s yours? Wonder Woman?”
 He scoffed, then shook his head as he stood and approached the carts, ready for dessert. It wasn’t the Strawberry Cheesecake he truly desired, but it would have to do. When he returned to his seat, he placed your plate in front of you and sat.
 “It’s Wonder Woman, huh, or maybe Poison Ivy, ooh, Catwoman.”
 He sat there patiently, letting you list them off. He couldn’t help but wonder why those were chosen.
 “Before I answer, can I ask why you chose them?”
 He saw the mischievous glint twinkle in your eye as your lips quirked up into a smirk.
 “Oh, this, I must hear.”
 “No reason. They’re just seen as the most desirable by fanboy standards,” you responded while rolling with your eyes.
 He suppressed a chuckle to put a piece of the cheesecake into his mouth.
 “So?”
 “None of those.”
 “Oh, please do enlighten me,” you quipped.
 Resting the fork on the side of the dish, he responded. “Nubia and Storm.”
 He sat there and thoroughly enjoyed watching the emotions wash over your face. Shock was the first, then disbelief, and finally awe. Now you sat there assessing him as if you thought he was pranking you. He was not. You opened your mouth to say something, and he stopped you before you did.
 “I suggest you do not repeat it. I assure you I am not.”
 Your eyes darkened right at the moment you sucked your bottom lip back into your mouth. Losing his train of thought and head for control, he put another piece of the cake into his mouth, licking the back of the fork. Your eyes lowered to his mouth and your teeth sunk into that delectable bottom lip. If he were a weaker man, he would have tossed the plate he held to the side and been on you in under five seconds, but he was not a weak man. As future King, weakness had no place in the monarchy.
 Weakness was not an option until he saw you put the fork in your mouth to mirror his actions, only your tongue swirled around the teeth of the fork in a way that made his pants instantly too tight. Christ, help him.
 He cleared his throat and changed his position on the couch to one that would hide your effect.
“Interesting. I didn’t expect those,” you stuttered.
 “What did—what did you expect?”
 You shrugged and toyed with the fork against your lips. “Something else, but I’m pleasantly surprised.”
 Your eyes met again, and the temptation he felt was somehow more than he’d ever felt. He wanted you. He’d wanted you since you cursed about how disgusting the drink was at the bar. The only thing was, this want had shifted.
 “I am happy it is pleasantly.”
 Again your eyes lingered, and he wanted nothing more than to give in to the heavy cloud of temptation that filled the room.
 “What’re you working on?”
 He cleared his throat again and straightened himself. “Uh—a speech. One of my father’s projects premiers in a few days, the first since his um—” he cleared his throat again. “Since his passing, and I am going to be the one to cut the ribbon on it.”
 “Oh, I’m so sorry for your loss.”
 Keeping his eyes turned downward, he nodded. The sincerity in your voice touched him. “Thank you.”
 The silence between you stretched for a few seconds before you spoke again.
 “What’s wrong with it?”
 “The speech, um—I do not know. It just does not feel right.”
 “Want me to take a look?”
 “Do you have an aptness for speeches?”
 You placed your place to the side and adjusted your posture.
 “Not speeches in general. I do have a knack for words. I’ve spent the last few years writing about the places I’ve gone in such a way that makes people want to go there themselves. I might know a little something, something.”
 He smiled, put the plate beside him, and leaned forward to hand you his laptop. He watched as you read through the few paragraphs he’d already written and wondered what you thought of it. Every lift of your brow or nibble of your lip had him more and more curious as to the thoughts in your head. After a few minutes, you nodded.
 “This isn’t bad. You sound like you’re on a good roll.”
 “No critique?”
 “How about you leave me with it for a day or two, and I’ll have some notes. Or, you could give it to your royal speechwriter.”
 He chuckled. “What makes you think I have one of those?”
 You rolled your eyes and smiled. “Hello, this is a monarchy. I am sure the monarchy employs people to make sure their dear prince is always PC.”
 You were right.
 “I think I would rather leave it with you,” he replied, making you smile in the process.
 “Okay. I’ll knock your socks off then.”
 “You already have,” he said, standing to take your plate.
 He tried to arrange the empty plates, dishes, and classes on the carts in a way that wouldn’t have them falling once they were moved.
 “Is there anything else I can get for you?”
 He turned in time to see you wobbling toward him, clutching the IV pole with one hand and a plate with the other. He saw your knees buckle and wrapped you in his arms, taking you to the bed in the process. With you underneath him, he couldn't deny how right this felt. Your breathing was heavy, your eyes bright and chest heaving. The way you were looking at him made his next move the only possible one.
 He brought his lips toward yours but right before he claimed them, he hesitated. The tiny sliver of space between your lips made it easy to feel the literal electricity that sparked between you. He was so close, but so far, and he wanted to get closer. The fact that you didn’t look as if you objected to this made his blood bubble with desire even more than it had hours ago when he first walked in.
 “I apologize,” he whispered before he pulled away from you with whatever ounce of strength he had remaining. He stood before you then held his hands out to you.
 “Let me help you.”
 You placed your hands in his letting him hoist you up. He wrapped his arm around your waist and helped you back to the side of the bed you’d been this entire time.  When he eased you down, he spread the blanket over you and assured you were comfortable. Being sure to keep his eyes away from yours, he turned to his things and gathered them.
 “I will let you get some rest. If Dr. Alfonsi found out I were here preventing that, he would give me a stern talk.”
 “Thank you for this,” you said.
 He took his laptop from your bed and nodded. “I will email it to you.”
 “You have my email?”
 “I am head of this country; I have multiple resources at my disposal,” he replied, smirking at you. Your smile said you fully understood his meaning and knew he was teasing. You understood him. Yet another thing to like about you, he thought. He quickly averted his eyes then gave you a slight head bow.
 “Good night, Xari.”
 “Good night, your highness.”
  He walked toward the door and poked his head out to instruct the waiting staff to remove the carts. The walk back to his room was filled with several stops as he thought to go back, but when he realized he couldn’t, he carried on his way. He’d never been filled with so many conflicting wants and thoughts before, and he suspected as the coming weeks stretched, this would be just the tip of the iceberg.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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girlgirlgirlnormal · 3 years
Text
I want her to be mine Part 1
Kuina x OC (female OC)
TW: Death; Niragi (Yes, I’m including Niragi as a trigger now, even though he is very ooc here and OC’s best friend); harrasment, sexual harrasment mention, bullying
Word count: 3.8k
Ino was dancing her way through the crowd. She didn’t have to push through. People made room for her. She knew that they were not doing it out of the kindness of their hearts. She was known to be a gun wielding maniac and Niragis best friend. They didn’t want to be on her bad side, and she was known to be ill-tempered. Wearing short shorts that barely covered her butt and a green velvet camisole she would never be pointed out for her clothes. Everyone was clothed less in the beach. The things that made her stick out of the group where the two guns she had on her hipholsters and the knife strapped to her thigh.
“Finally.”, she muttered, as she spotted Niragi on the other side of the pool.
She grabbed the drink of a girl standing nearby and walked around the pool, watching how her best friend was talking – no threatening – Chishiya and Kuina.
“Niragi”, she said, as soon as she was within hearing distance, “Aguni wants to see you.”
She crossed her arms, the drink, a pink liquid in a tall glass, still in her hand. She hated being the message girl.
“I have business to do”, Niragi said, not turning back to look at her, “This little man is bothering me.”
“That little man is always bothering you”, she said sighing, “Come on. You know how Aguni gets when he has to wait.”
She wasn’t looking at Niragi. Her gaze was fixed on Kuina. She found that that woman was too beautiful to be real.
Niragi groaned, pushing the head of his sniper rifle into Chishiyas stomach. He still didn’t make any effort to move away from the man. Kuina was watching him with a worried expression on her face and Chishiya simply did not seem to care. Sighing she took a big gulp of the cocktail she was holding and smashed the rest on the floor.
“I demand attention!”, she almost shouted.
Niragi chuckeled, “Remined me. Why don’t I kill you?”
“Because I’m your best friend, idiot.”
Niragi seemed to accept that, turning and walking past her, to the hotel. She stayed for a moment, gifting Kuina a little smile, then she turned back, following Niragi inside.
“If you want her so much, why don’t you just take her?”, Niragi asked, as they were crossing the lobby.
“Are you asking why I’m not making a move or are you advising me to force myself onto her?”, Ino asked, laughing.
She knew Niragi since highschool. He had interned and later worked at her fathers indie gaming company and she had worked on the same team with him. She knew everything about him and he about her.
“Both”, he said, shrugging, “You’re not the one to wait around if you want something.”
“If you were not so precious to me, maybe I would be the one shooting you.”, she replied, bumping her shoulder in his arm, making him laugh.
After they reached Agunis room she waited outside. He had asked for Niragi. He didn’t say that he wanted to see her with him, so that meant that she was not invited. She was leaning against the wall, quietly humming the hanging trees melody and playing with her knive, starting to not only hum but sing, as she saw Kuina coming out of the elevator. She knew she looked kinda scary with her huge scar extending from her right eyebrow all the way down to her navel. Singing such an ominous song while staring at the beautiful women walking towards her must have made her look even scarier. Not to forget the throwing knive she was twirling between her fingers.
“You really shouldn’t hang with Chishiya”, she advised, as Kuina was walking past her, making her stop, “At least not then Niragi is around. I’m afraid that one day you might get caught in some enthusiastic friendly fire.”
She couldn’t believe that those there the first words she had spoken to the woman she had been watching since she got to the beach. She never had acknowledged her enough to talk to her before.
“I can do whatever I want.”, Kuina answered, “What is it to you if I die?”
She had caught the woman watching her, but her expression could never be read. Maybe she was just some transphobe who had identified her and was plotting her death. Maybe she just didn’t like her face, that seemed to be the problem between Niragi and Chishiya.
The woman smiled, “You’re too pretty to die because Niragi can’t stand that weirdos face.”
Kuina was silent for a moment. Did she just tell her that she was pretty? She turned to look the woman in the face. She was still not showing any emotions.
“Too pretty, huh?”, she asked, the woman was pretty herself, but Kuina never thought much of it. She was just another militant and if Niragi was not following her like a shadow she was dancing with some other militant. Kuina had noticed that those guys seemed to vanish after she had seen them with her.
Pushing herself of the wall she put the knife back in its strap and smiled. She walked up to Kuina. She was short compared to her, only reaching her chin, and smiled up to her, before turning around and vanishing in her rooms, a couple of doors next to Agunis. The door between her and Agunis door was leading into Niragis room and their rooms were interconnected. She put the chair against the doorknob. If Niragi wanted to see her, he would come through the middle door anyway. She deattached her holsters and wiggled out of her shorts. Tomorrow she would have to play a game, she thought, as she was pulling her camisole over her head. She just hoped it was one she could beat. She would have Niragi with her. She never went to a game without him. He was the only person in this place she trusted. She slipped into a silk nightdress, the kind she used to sleep in all the time and brushed her hair. Her life used to be so good. How did she and up here?
“What’s up, princess?”, she could see Niragi in the mirror, leaning on the frame of their connecting door.
“Cuddles tonight?”, she asked, placing the brush on the vanity, and turning to Niragi.
He laughed, but nodded, “I think you just need some Vitamin D.”
She rolled her eyes, “Maybe I would get some if you didn’t kill everyone who dared to touch me.”
Niragi was already getting undressed all the way down to his boxers and laid down, extending a hand to her. Sighing she stood up and walked up to the bed, laying down beside her best friend and letting him wrap his arms around her.
“They all didn’t deserve you”, he mumbled into her hair, “I only want the best for you.”
“You want me to die horny”, she answered, cuddling into his chest, “I miss being touched that way. I would be very grateful to you if you did not kill everyone who touched me.”
Niragi sighed, “Can’t you just abstain as long as we’re here?”
She playfully hit his arm, “I’m going to approach Kuina and I want her to stay alive to fuck me.”
“Stop thinking about sex”, Niragi scolded her with a bored voice, “Concentrate on the game tomorrow. We will have to play.”
Yawning she nodded, before falling asleep in her best friends’ arms.
The next day went by uneventful and as the signal for the start of the games sounded through the hotel, she and Niragi were already in the lobby. They would not draw a number. They already knew they would go to the game with the other militants. They had to take some civilians with them, though. Who they would take with them would be chosen by luck. Many did not consider themselves lucky then they drew the M instead of a number. Either they would have an easy game and the militants would fight their way free for them or it would be a deadly game and they would be killed by the same people who were sent to protect them.
She was watching Kuina and Chishiya argue.
“You have to find someone to switch with.”, he said.
“Who would switch with me?”, she asked, looking around.
Everyone who wanted to participate was already making their way out. Thinking that this was an opportunity to “bring order to the beach” she signaled Niragi to stay and made her way over to Kuina.
“What number did you draw?”, she asked, not even acknowledging Chishiya.
“We were about to switch”, he said, holding his own number, a 3 up.
She ripped the piece of paper out of Kuinas hand and unscrambled it.
“Looks like you’re with us”, she said grinning, “That’s the law. You go with the number you get. No more horsetrading.”
She grabbed Kuinas arm and pulled her with her to the two militant cars. Niragi opened the door to the front passenger seat, grabbed the young man already sitting there and pulled him out. Before he sat down, he turned to her and threw the keys to her, “You’re driving today.”, he said, getting in.
Catching the keys, she watched Kuina sit down and finally sat down herself. The drive took them about 15 minutes. The game arena looked like a normal apartment complex. She stopped for a moment, showing Niragi what had caught her attention. There were two different entrances. Both were limited to 10 people each. A sign told them to leave their weapons outside.
Niragi pointed his head to the second entrance and one of the militants peaked in, “Here are already six people”, he informed them.
“2 here”, Ino informed the group.
“Militants here”, Niragi pointed to the first entrance, “Weeklings there”, he pointed to the second door.
The people they had brought, only 4 including Kuina, were looking distraught. They were 7 militants.
“She’s with me”, Ino said, pulling Kuina by her arm to her side, “She’s coming with us.”
Kuina did not protest. This short before a game one should never put the militants in a bad mood.
The others nodded. She had the highest number after Niragi. If he didn’t say something to contradict her, they would listen. Niragi rolled his eyes about his best friends’ behavior, but she had told him that she wanted to fuck that girl, so she would.
After entering through the first entrance, they each picked up a phone and waited for the other group to be full. A couple of minutes of silence ensued. Niragi and Ino did not talk because there were others in the room. The others did not talk, because Niragi was in the room.
“Registration is closed”, the mechanic voice announced, after a while, the five of clubs card flashed on the screen, and a table was elevated from the ground with all kinds of sharp objects on it, “Game: Kill or be killed. Two teams with ten players each have been assembled. Players are free to choose weapons from the table. Clearing Conditions: The team with the most kills wins. Game over: If a player dies or is part of the team with the least kills it is game over for them. Time limit: 20 minutes”
Niragi laughed, walking over to the table and grabbed an axe and 2 machetes. He gave one of them to Ino and pointed to the throwing knives, “Take them.”
She took them. She didn’t mind small orders from Niragi. They had been a team for five years. That meant that they have been giving and taking orders to and from each other for half a decade.
“What are you good with, princess?”, Ino asked, turning to Kuina.
The other militants did not take anything yet. They were like a pack of wolves. They would not get anything until their “Alphas” were done. Considering that Aguni was not with them they had to do as Niragi pleased. Kuina looked over the table.
“Sword”, she said and watched as Ino grabbed one and handed it to her.
Ino caught Niragi staring at the screen.
“What’s the problem?”, she asked, looking up to his face and then to the screen.
Beneath the rules two columns had appeared. Group Right and Group Left. Both columns had a big black zero beneath their group names.
“It doesn’t specifically say that we have to kill people from the other team to win”, he said, thoughtfully, looking back to the two civilians standing in the back, they had not even chosen a weapon yet. Ino guessed the reason for that might be one of the militants standing by the table looking the girls up and down with a dirty look on his face.
She rolled her eyes. Men.
“Maybe we should look into it”, the man said, taking a knife and walking toward the women, who were already covering into the wall.
Niragi turned to watch him. Ino saw up to him again. His face didn’t betray any emotion but seeing those women in such fear had to remind him of his old life.
“Maybe we should”, Ino agreed, walking up to the girls, coming to a halt right next to the militant.
He smiled at her. She smiled back, swinging her machete into his neck. His eyes were widened in shock as he fell to the ground. Gurgling noises could be heard for a couple of moments, then they stopped. Ino looked back to the scoreboard. A point had appeared for the other group.
“I guess that means we protect the girls”, she concluded, walking back to Kuina and grabbing her hand, “Niragi?”
“You stay here”, he said looking to the women, “everyone else, the hunt is on!”
With that he hollered, swinging his ax and machete and opened the door to enter the playing field, abruptly stopping in his tracks.
“It’s a fucking labyrinth”, he muttered, “Come on. We need to split up.”
Ino sighed, that was a dumb idea. Everyone died in horror movies as soon as they split up.
Niragi looked at her for a moment, before nodding and walking off. They would survive. There was no way this game would get any of them killed.
“You’re with me.”, Ino said, grabbing Kuinas wrist and dragging her off, walking in the opposite direction of where Niragi disappeared.
“Why?”, Kuina asked.
The labyrinth was silent. She couldn’t hear anything beside her heart pounding.
“I don’t think this is a talkie talkie game”, Sakura said, her machete raised, slowly walking around the next corner.
Kuina huffed, following Ino. If she didn’t have to, she walked straight, not taking any turns. They had to hurry. They were already down to 15 Minutes and the only point given in the game was the militant Ino had killed. She started to consider it a bad idea. She had made a point for her rivals. If they didn’t find and kill someone soon, they would lose. She stopped. She thought she had heard something. Trying to concentrate on the sounds around them she closed her eyes, hearing Kuinas footsteps continue walking, walking past her.
She heard the sound again. It was coming from around the corner that Kuina was about to turn. Not even thinking she lunged forward, grabbing Kuinas waist and pushing her back, while swinging her machete. She was too late. She screamed as something made impact with her forearm, wildly swinging her machete she only stopped, as the man infront of her collapsed to the ground.
“Ino!”, she heard Niragi scream.
Examining her arm, she screamed back: “I’m fine.”
She was cut and bleeding, but it didn’t look too deep. An agonized moan escaped her mouth, as her phone beeped, signaling the point she had made.
“Are you ok?”, Kuina asked, automatically grabbing her arm to have a better look at her wound.
“I just said that I’m fine, didn’t I?”, Ino growled. This was so frustrating. It was her dominant hand.
“I’ll take the lead”, Kuina announced and wanted to continue walking, but Ino grabbed her wrist.
“Look”, she said shoving her arm in Kuinas face, “That happened because you took the lead. Stay the fuck behind me.”
With that she walked off, machete up in her left hand, cautiously walking around the next corner. Her phone beeped again. A quick look on it showed her that her team had gained another point. She grinned. Now it would be enough if no one else on their team got killed.
She heard a scream and started looking around, “Its ok”, she told Kuina, showing her the phone. They had gained another point. Kuina nodded.
She was just about to turn the next corner as she stopped, raising the machete over her head, and hacking down the second she turned the corner.
“I guess it really is a matter of time until one of us kills the other”, Niragi said laughing, as their machetes clashed.
Ino took down the machete that she was holding up with both hands, grasping her injury with her other hand.
“Fuck”, Niragi groaned, grabbing her arm, “That’s not fine.”
“It will be”, she said, taking her arm out of his grip, “Don’t worry. Made a kill yet?”
Niragi shook his head, “You are the first people I´ve seen since I got in the labyrinth.”
“Looks like I’m winning”, Ino said grinning, walking off.
She only heard one set of feet walking behind her, so she turned. Niragi was right behind her, Kuina was still standing where she had left her.
“Come on princess”, Ino said smiling, “I want to give Niragi a chance to beat me!”
Niragi had walked ahead and was now hollering. He found someone from the opposing team and was using his ax to cut the man down.
Niragi turned back to them, after the man he was axing down stopped moving. Blood had splattered all over his face and shirt, “It’s a tie, princess”, he screamed joyfully, turning back around and started walking away.
“No ties for you!”, Ino laughed, pushing past Niragi and running ahead.
“What the fuck, Ino”, Niragi laughed, following her.
“Kuina, move your sweet ass over here”, Ino ordered, laughing and ran off.
After a couple of moments, she could hear Kuinas footsteps behind her. She grinned. She was already listening to her.
She stopped in her tracks as she heard Kuina scream. She was lying on the ground, a big bulky man sitting on her stomach, fighting to put a knife to her throat. Ino ran back, trying to pull the man off the fighting girl. He backhanded her, causing Ino to fall back and hit her head on the floor.
She heard another scream and looked up to see Niragi swinging his ax one more time, making the man fall to his side and off Kuina. Ino scrambled to her knees and scooted over to Kuina, helping her up.
“Are you ok?”, she asked, one hand hovering over her neck, there are fine line of blood was glistening.
“I´m alright”, Kuina answered, standing up, “You must’ve hurt your head. You fell pretty hard.”
Ino wanted to say that she was ok, but she only hissed in pain, as Niragi touched the back of her head.
“You’re bleeding”, he informed her in a judging voice, “If you continue like that, you’ll die today.”
She punched his arm.
Four to one, we’re winning”, she said, taking Kuinas hand and dragging her along, “Only five minutes remaining.”
The last five minutes were uneventful. Noone else died until the time ran out and lasers killed everyone left in the losing team. As they got back to their base, the two civilian women were already gone and they were the last militants to arrive.
“Let’s go home”, Niragi said, not even stopping to look at his comrades.
The car ride was silent. They had split up to be able to take both cars to the beach and Niragi was driving. He was shooting concerned glances in her direction every once in a while, trying to ignore the feeling that he should’ve been able to protect her. Kuina was the only one they had taken with them. The poor girl was sitting in the back, staring at Inos bloody, matted hair. She was just trying to win the game, Kuina thought, it doesn’t mean anything that she saved you.
As soon as they arrived on the beach and the car was parked, Niragi got out and opened Inos door. She let him help her exit the car and walk her in the direction of the beach, before stopping and turning back.
Kuina had gotten out of the car and was walking at a safe distance. Ino smiled at her and pointed at her head, “You’ll have to pay me back for this”, she said, “tomorrow morning. I’ll find you.”
With that she turned and let Niragi lead her to the medical center. Kuina was still standing there, staring at the women as she disappeared in the beach.
Pay her back? How? She didn’t have much time to think about it, as Chishiya was already approaching her. Niragi was too busy supporting his best to pick a fight with the shorter man, he didn’t even look at him, as he walked past them.
Niragi had led her to the medical area and Ann had patched her up.
Laying in her bed, Niragi beside her, they were examining her bandaged arm.
“I thought only snitches get stitches”, she mumbled, poking around the edges of the bandage.
Sighing Niragi turned to her, extending his index finger and starting to draw the line of her scar. It was just a fine line on her face and throat, but it turned to an angry red convulsing scar at her collarbone. He knew that it extended in the same shape between her breasts, down to her stomach, before turning back to a fine line and stopping at her navel. It had been gruesome. They didn’t think she would survive it, but she did.
“You weren’t snitching back then, were you?”, he asked jokingly, finger resting on her collarbone.
“I´m just saying that I just once want to get stitches because I’ve been snitching”, she laughed.
“I would be happier if you stopped getting stitches”, Niragi argued, making Ino laugh, “Are you really going to meet that girl tomorrow?”, he asked, finger still on her scar, “Kuina?”
Ino nodded, “She is very pretty.”
“She’s always with Chishiya”, Niragi groaned, “You should not trust her.”
“I’m not saying that I trust her”, Ino finally turned to face Niragi, cupping his face with one hand, “I’m just saying that she’s verry pretty and I want her to be mine.”
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anthonyjlockwood · 3 years
Text
vitamin D
Okay bestie @julies-butterflies thank you for combining our three (3) brain cells and coming up with this prompt for me!!!!!!!!!! (you have 2.75, i have the other .25) 
“the gang takes reggie to the dog park bc sometimes he just need to be allowed to run free
and for whatever reason. literally WHATEVER REASON
one of the dogs adopts bobby
it's basically luke as a dog, he's following bobby around, can't get rid of him, everyone else thinks its hilarious
see, don't ask me for ideas, because you're going to get utter nonsense like that lol”
My “i’m gonna bang something out so i can post to ao3 and test out the coding” fic turned into “i’m going to spend FAR too long on a prompt that should take me 15-20 minutes max, and go to starbucks and get a cake pop” and we can all blame Lydia for that one, too. 
here it is on ao3!
(and the cake pop was chocolate btw in case anyone was wondering)
“I feel like we haven’t left the house in foreverrrr, ” Reggie complained.
From his position hanging upside-down off the couch in Bobby’s garage, he saw Alex’s sweatpants and sneakers appear in front of him. “We literally just came home from school.”
“And, we have to finish this stupid presentation for health class,” Bobby complained. “Are you actually going to contribute something? Or just make me write your name at the top so you can take all the credit?”
“You’re doing fiiiine, ” Reggie soothed him. The pressure was building uncomfortably in his head from hanging upside-down for too long, so he flipped himself around and settled back down with his head on Luke’s shoulder.  
“Hey!” Luke complained. “I’m trying to write lyrics-- you made my pen slip!”
“Why are you writing song lyrics ?” Bobby asked. “I told you, you’re supposed to be looking up the benefits of Vitamin D on the human body!”
“Yeah, but that sounds boring ,” Luke complained. “I’ve got a really great idea for this song-- “
“I don’t want to hear it!” Bobby snapped. “Alex, back me up here-- we’re the only ones actually serious about passing this class!”
“No point, dude,” Alex reasoned.  “They’re not going to take it seriously.”
“Ugh, you’re so lucky you took health last semester. Imagine getting stuck in a group project with these two.”  
Alex laughed. “Better you than me.”
“I can’t concentrate on school!” Reggie protested. “I feel like a caged bird-- the garage walls are closing in-- I need to be free, dude!”  
“Hey, y’know what’s a great way to get Vitamin D?” Luke asked. “Going outside!”
“Yes!” Reggie said eagerly. “Let’s do that!”
Alex shot Luke a look. “If you actually know something about Vitamin D, why’s Bobby sitting there doing all the work?”
“Just ‘cause I know, doesn’t mean I care , dude. And besides!” Luke stuck his pen in the middle of his notebook to save his page, and cast it aside. “Maybe if you take Reggie out, the fresh air’ll give him some awesome ideas for the project!”  
Bobby groaned and snapped his health book shut. “Reg… If we go out, will you please do something for the presentation when we get back?”
“Fine,” Reggie agreed forlornly.
“Where should we go?” Alex asked.
“Oooh!” Reggie’s face lit up. “Let’s go to the park-- there’s probably lots of dogs there!”
“What do you think, Alex?” Bobby smirked. “Should we take our dog for a walk?”  
Alex sighed. “We’re not gonna get anything accomplished when he’s like this, so we might as well.”
“Let’s stop at the pet store and buy treats for the dogs!” Reggie said.
“Reg, can’t you ever just… go somewhere?” Alex asked. “You get so distracted all the time-- and you shouldn’t be feeding random strangers’ dogs, anyway!”
The four of them were walking the short distance from Bobby’s house to the park, and Reggie had already suggested they make two other stops along the way-- first, to Starbucks (granted, by Bobby. He claimed that Reggie was “exhausting him” and he needed the caffeine), and second, to the music shop, so they could admire the brand new guitars that had been displayed in the window (granted, of course, by Luke).
Reggie deflated. “But think of how happy the dogs will be, dude!”
“I want no part of this,” Alex rolled his eyes. “If you want to buy treats for the strange dogs at the park, go ahead. I’m just along for the ride.”
“Why didn’t you stay at the garage then, Negative Nancy?” Reggie asked. “This is supposed to be fun!”
“I came ‘cause I feel like if I’d left you two alone with Bobby, you might not all come back.”
“That’s… fair,” Bobby allowed. “But seriously. Whatever gets our project done-- if you want to buy treats for strange dogs, go for it. But if our health assignment doesn’t get done tonight, don’t expect me to bail you out.”
“Hey!” Luke protested. “What about me? I’m in the group, too!”
“Yeah, don’t know where we’d be without you,” Bobby dismissed him. “Come on-- the pet store’s a block over.”
Once they were armed with dog treats-- Bobby had refused to let Reggie get a ball, too-- they resumed their journey to the park. When they saw it in the distance, Reggie left them behind and made a beeline for the gate.
Alex was in charge of the pet store bag. “Wait, Reg! You forgot the treats!”
“Don’t remind him,” Bobby said. “Maybe it’s for the best.”
“Psst. Alex."  Luke grabbed Alex’s arm, stopping him and letting Bobby walk on ahead.  
“ What? ”
“Let’s put one of the dog treats in Bobby’s back pocket,” Luke encouraged. “He’ll get so pissed when the dogs start following him around!”
“Dude, that’s-- an incredible idea, actually,” Alex grinned mischievously. “Let’s do it.”
“Maybe one’ll even bite his pants!” Luke said with glee. Alex held out the bag, and Luke took one of the treats out.  He snuck up behind Bobby and plopped the treat in his pocket just as his friend turned around. “What?”
“Nothing!” Luke said quickly. “You… you had a bug on you. I was swatting it away. See, what would you do without me?” He laughed nervously.
“Okay… whatever,” Bobby rolled his eyes. “Let’s go find Reggie… can’t believe we lost him already!”
They did find Reggie, already playing fetch along with several dogs-- much to the confusion of their owners. “Reggie!” Bobby called. “Here, boy!”
Reggie jogged up to them, beaming. “This is great!” he said. “There’re so many dogs here!”
“That’s great, buddy,” Bobby said. “But let’s try not to be here too long. We have to get home and work on the--”
He was interrupted by a dog-- a huge, shaggy, white-and-gray dog that could only be described as a monstrosity mop budging his nose into the back of Bobby’s leg. “Hey!”  
Luke and Alex exchanged a look of triumph behind Bobby’s back.
“Okay, seriously--” Bobby said, wiggling away from the dog. “Let’s not be here too long, okay? Down, boy! Shoo!”
He swatted the dog away gently, as if it were a fly buzzing near his sandwiches at a picnic. But the dog didn’t leave; it persisted, sniffing around Bobby eagerly. “Okay, what the heck is going on?”
“Bobby made a friend!” Luke cried, suppressing his laughter.
“Dude, this isn’t-- stop! ” he said to the dog. “This isn’t funny-- I hate dogs, man! You remember what happened to me when I was seven!”
When Bobby turned seven, one of the guys his mom was dating had a dog-- a huge, shaggy dog, much like this one, who had wreaked havoc at the boy’s birthday party. It had managed to pop several balloons, topple several chairs, and the evening had ended with Bobby’s birthday cake splattered all over the floor and walls of the Wilsons’ kitchen.
Needless to say, Bobby hadn’t been a fan of dogs since.  
“Okay, this is ridiculous,” Bobby complained. “Why won’t this thing leave me alone?”
Almost an hour had gone by at the dog park; the boys had lost Reggie somewhere in the middle of the group of playing dogs.  They were sure he’d be fine, anyway; he was running around, free, like a bird out of its cage.  When he got tired enough, he’d find his way back to them.
What the three other boys were really focused on-- Bobby in annoyance, Alex and Luke in absolute delight-- was the big, shaggy, white-and-gray dog, who was still following Bobby around like a shadow.
“I don’t know, dude,” Alex said. “Maybe it’s hungry?”
“I don’t have dog food!” Bobby grouched. “And if it’s that hungry, why doesn’t the owner feed it?”
“Maybe it wants you to adopt it!” Luke suggested.
“”Where is its owner, anyway?” Bobby snapped. “This thing has been following me around for an hour-- isn’t anyone looking for it?”
“Doesn’t look like it, bro,” Luke turned away, trying and failing to hold back his laughter. Alex slapped him on the arm. Stop it, Luke! You’re gonna ruin it! his glare said. Luke returned said glare with a sheepish grin.
“Guys!” Reggie said, running over to them. “This is great. I feel so alive !”
“Wonderful,” Bobby said. “Can we go now? I’m so sick of being followed around by this dog-- go away!!” He shooed the dog away once again, but it didn’t matter-- the treat Luke had hidden in Bobby’s back pocket had yet to be discovered, and the dog continued to sniff around Bobby hungrily.
“Aww, you wanna leave already?” Reggie complained. “But it’s so nice out! And I promised Sasha another round of fetch-- she thinks she can run faster than me!”
“ Yes , I want to leave,” Bobby insisted. “It’s almost dinner. And we have other homework besides the health thing, you know!”
“Wow, Bobby. I didn’t know you cared that much about school.” Alex snickered as the shaggy dog once again booped into Bobby’s leg.
“Reg, if we leave now, we can go out again for ice cream after dinner!” Bobby negotiated.
“Alright, fine!” Reggie agreed reluctantly. “But you’re paying for the ice cream, Bobby!”
A while later-- far too long for Bobby’s liking-- the boys piled into the garage. Perfectly content with the pizza he’d eaten for dinner, and the promise of ice cream to come, Reggie followed Bobby through the door loyally and sat back down on the couch.  Luke and Alex trailed behind, whispering to each other with grins on their faces.
“Alright, as much fun as that little outing was, we really need to work on our health project, now,” Bobby insisted.  He headed over to the couch, grabbing his book once again, ready to learn more about Vitamin D.
Bobby sat down on the couch next to Reggie.
“...What the hell just crunched in my pocket?”
Luke and Alex dissolved into laughter.
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prosopopeya · 3 years
Text
New Year’s Meme
this survey has been a tradition among my friend group for YEARS, but i haven’t filled it out since 2015 apparently. i’m not entirely sure why except 2016 was the year a lot of stuff changed for me, namely in that i finally got out of school in some form and started a new job, but i also had a few health problems that kept plaguing me (thyroid medicine being off, vitamin d) and my anxiety was all over the place. so here we go i’m doing it again and feel free to do it too if you want!!
1. What did you do in 2020 that you’d never done before? tried on wedding dresses. taught virtually. dealt (poorly) with drunk teenagers. performed in a pep rally. wore face masks all the time. i’m going to lump in living with someone. jon moved in october 2019, but i don’t think i did this quiz last year so. taught ap.
2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions and will you make more for next year? i don’t really like resolutions. they put too much pressure on me and i am a fragile person when it comes to setting expectations and living up to them. i did want to try to read more this year, and i maintained that until the pandemic, and then just kind of gave up requiring myself to do anything but live.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? i don’t think so. a coworker did.
4. Did anyone close to you die? jon’s cousin committed suicide in march or april. the circumstances were pretty upsetting. um. andy died in february, very suddenly. andy was my high school boyfriend for four years with whom i had a very... he scarred me in a lot of ways when it comes to sex and consent. it’s taken me a long time to unpack all of that. and i struggle with how much any of that was his fault or just bc he was a stupid kid too. our mutual friends had nothing but nice things to say about him on fb. anyway. he would guilt me into saying he’d kill himself if we broke up, and jon’s cousin killed himself over his girlfriend. so that was a complex part of the year.
5. What countries did you visit? none. literally the week before the quarantine, we went to asheville to visit jon’s cousin.
6. What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020? maybe a different job? or at least some peace at doing mine.
7. What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? march 13 we cancelled classes and had a technology training day; the 15th we had another one, and then we were virtual the rest of the term. it was such a sudden shift and while i so loved working from home tbh, it was such a relief after a supremely shitty january/february work-wise, i still had a lot of keyed-up, stressful days centered around transitioning to being the senior upper school spanish teacher. i hate it!
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? writing 50k in the month of november. i have literally never done that before and actively reject nano as being typically unhealthy for how my mind works, so it was nice to do it entirely by accident.
9. What was your biggest failure? mishandling the drunken teenagers on that field trip in january.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? i sit crosslegged in my virtual teaching chair and i did it so much that my ankle hurt for the entire summer.
11. What was the best thing you bought? we put a deposit on our elopement in ireland. jon’s wedding ring. (i didn’t buy my wedding dress.)
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? my best friend at work who keeps me sane and is represented by benny in my au, which other than the fact that he is not my sidepiece, is perfect he is crucial to my survival at work and i love him so much. (also he is gay and the french teacher so the benny parallels just keep coming). everyone who tore down a statue in virginia (and other places, but especially monument avenue). everyone putting their lives on the line during this pandemic.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? guess! but aside from all the obvious, i found out a friend of mine at work voted for trump. my work bff and i had been trying for years to sway his politics, but that had us both deciding to give up on him.
14. Where did most of your money go?  food, ALCOHOL. god., our savings account. i did a pretty excellent job saving this year, though a good deal of that is because jon moved in and makes more money than me, and also we split all the bills.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? my wedding dress but strangely only when i went to try it on after it came in bc after the purchase i was so sure i’d made every mistake possible. my wedding band. wellbutrin changing my whole life. and, last but certainly not least, the gay angel and the bi(lingual) hunter. i wouldn’t have survived nov-dec in school without that distraction. the election.
16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2020? the entirety of taylor swift’s oeuvre this year, maybe specifically “this is me trying”
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:  i. Happier or sadder? happier, i suppose, perhaps contrary to what should be the case, but wellbutrin is a hell of a drug. ii. Older or wiser? wiser. ii. Richer or poorer? richer.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of? reading. cleaning. exercising.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of? stressing. chaperoning.
20. How will you be spending Christmas? so, an update; last year was the first year i didn’t go to my mom’s for christmas. i was supposed to see her for thanksgiving last year, but she basically told us not to come bc she wasn’t feeling up to it (cool!), and we went to jon’s for christmas and my mom’s for new year’s. 
this year, obviously we couldn’t go to my mom’s. instead, we rented a little cabin by the lake. it was perfect; it was really really nice inside, the beds were SO SOFT, the pillows were the best things i have ever laid my head on, like i took off the pillowcases to try to find the brand. we had a little tiny christmas tree with tiny ornaments from walmart that we decorated. the 23rd, we went and picked up our wedding bands. we slept two nights in the (cold) back bedroom so i could wake up and look out at the lake. it snowed for christmas. :)
we opened presents on christmas eve, per jon’s family’s tradition. on christmas eve, we also went to his family farm and sat outside and hung out a little. every year his family does like a secret santa sort of thing and i got my first present in that exchange, which is notable bc jon and i are not yet officially married. i got a remote control car -- jon’s idea bc i couldn’t think of anything, and he was so delighted to hear that i loved playing with rc cars when we went to the beach as a kid.
christmas morning we facetimed my parents and opened some presents together. then jon and i marathoned mandalorian (after spending the previous few days watching several die hard movies), and then we watched wonder woman 1984 which was a bad movie.
21. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve? ok LAST year for new year’s, we were in a hotel room, so that was nice, bc it meant minimal stress with my parents. i had always wanted to go to this restaurant near us that has a special new year’s menu, so we did that. the night before or after i think we went to cheesecake factory, which was also amazing.
this year currently i’m tumbling and he’s playing pokemon, and in a bit we’ll try to time it so we finish schitt’s creek in time for the new year.
22. Did you fall in love in 2020? i re-fell in love with supernatural so that was nice.
23. How many one-night stands? 0. i submit we should randomly change question 23 each year to something more relevant to any of our life experiences.
24. What was your favorite TV program? what did i even watch this year. schitt’s creek. mandalorian. i mean obviously we know supernatural. the circle. are you the one (the queer season). pose. unsolved mysteries. we’re here! perry mason. watchmen. oh maybe that mcdonald’s monopoly fraud documentary. avenue 5. i’ll be gone in the dark. of those i think my favorite maybe is... pose or we’re here.
OKAY UM. on my 2014 version of this there were a bunch of questions about tv shows that i’m putting back in if only for the memories:
25. Which TV shows did you start watching in 2020? the haunting of bly manor, which we still need to finish. derry girls.
26. Which TV shows did you let go of in 2020? HERE’S WHY I WANTED TO RESURRECT THESE. here was my answer in 2015: “supernatural. goodbye, my sweet prince.” CAN YOU EVEN FUCKING BELIEVE
27. Which TV shows did you mean to get into but didn’t in 2020? Why? so far, queen’s gambit and that one on hulu with catherine the great. EVENTUALLY. 28. Which TV shows do you intend on checking out in 2020? fleabag. queen’s gambit. 29. Which TV show do you think you might let go of in 2020 unless things significantly improve? idk i drop things pretty regularly if they don’t entertain me 30. Which TV show impressed you least in 2020? GUYS HERE’S MY ORIGINAL 2015 ANSWER: “supernatural. :(”
anyway back to the rest of the quiz:
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? every person who refuses to listen to facts and information.
26. What was the best book you read? killers of the flower moon: the osage murders and the birth of the fbi, or the his dark materials series.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? well i knew about tswift so i’m not going to count her albums. i will count this song that jon played for me once in the car that got stuck in my head for two weeks straight and led me down into a great related-songs spotify playlist: through the roof ‘n underground.
28. What did you want and get? a wedding dress and a very specific kind of wedding band. a gay angel. a christmas getaway. animal crossing.
29. What was your favorite film of this year? idk i don’t know how many films i saw this year. maybe mucho mucho amor: the legend of walter mercado
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? i was 32. we went to an escape room with a BUNCH of people -- work bff, my old work bff and his wife (old bc he quit and we’ve fallen out of touch :(), the cool new physics teacher and his fiancee, and the aforementioned trump voter and his wife, before we knew... we went out for brunch/lunch after. it was pretty great!
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? not having to chaperone that school trip in january. dean being bi in english as well as spanish. cas just ilke, appearing in 15x20. not having to physically go back to work this fall.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020? no! real! pants!
34. What kept you sane? jon. supernatural (in a way?). animal crossing for a while. wellbutrin! i haven’t really been able to detail this yet, but finally i did something about tumblr and my therapist making me think about adhd. my doctor gave me wellbutrin (bc i lack any official diagnosis and was on anxiety meds anyway, and he was like let’s try this!) and it’s fucking. it’s a fucking godsend. surprisingly enough, my students. trying to provide them a safe space has been a calming thing for me.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? jensen ackles’ silence. misha collins again, i guess.
36. What political issue stirred you the most? the summer was so fucking intense. i guess though it was me trying to exert my influence in a responsible way with my students without trying to try to make them feel uncomfortable but then one kid was a vocally upset trump supporter after the election and i had to try to defuse that situation.
37. Who did you miss? my old work bff. several old friends that i’ve fallen out of touch with bc i have no object permanence.
38. Who was the best new person you met? people i met through the spn resurgence!
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020: if you manifest it in an au, it will come. no really though. maybe that expectations are only as important as i make them out to be.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: usually i have a hard time coming up with anything for this and i default to looking at my most played songs of the year. my most played song of the year received each and every one of its plays within the month of november and you can guess why. anyway see if this works
I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Take me back to the night we met - the night we met, lord huron
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avengerscompound · 5 years
Text
The Tower: The Queen of Asgard, 3
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The Tower: The Queen of Asgard An Avengers Fanfic
Series Masterlist PREVIOUS //
Pairing:  Avengers x OFC, Bruce Banner x Bucky Barnes x Clint Barton x Wanda Maximoff x Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff x Tony Stark x Thor x Sam Wilson x OFC (Elly Cooper)
Word Count: 1861
Warnings: None this chapter
Synopsis: The twins are now three and while the Avengers know that Clint and Thor are the biological father’s none of them know or care which blond, blue-eyed baby is related to which man.  When Riley gets the power to control wind and it becomes evident that she is the heir to the Asgardian throne, Elly, Steve, Thor, and Tony take the twins to Asgard to train her.
Not every Asgardian is happy with their king’s choice of consort, nor the impurity of the heir’s blood.  While others expect Thor to make things more official.  What’s clear is, the role of Queen of Asgard is not easily filled.
Author’s Note: Written with my very own Clint Barton @fanficwriter013​
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Chapter 3 - The Hair Cut
That night we all gathered together for a family meal.  Wanda and I had cooked.  She took the lead so there were a lot of Sokovian and Romany dishes, as well as some very American sides like Mac and Cheese just in case the kids were being fussy.
Thor sat with Riley in his lap as Steve put Pietro in his highchair.  “This is Riley’s highchair,”  Steve said indicating to the other chair.  “If you don’t want her wiping her sticky fingers on you while you eat.”
“Am I not meant to be a napkin?”  Thor joked.
Steve chuckled.  “You can be if you like.  But there are other options.”
“I’m sure she will love using you as a napkin.”  I teased.
“I would assume so,”  Thor said as Riley buried her face into his neck and started kicking her legs.
Wanda and I put a variety of foods into the kid’s bowls and then sat and began helping ourselves.
“Now, Natasha,”  I said when everyone had started eating.  “There’s something you need to come to terms with.”
“What’d I do?”  She asked.
“Well, see... here's the thing,”  I said, putting my fork down and looking at her.  “Out here at the compound, we can go outside with the kids and play or do whatever and we're left alone because the worst case it’s just agents around, but generally the house is isolated.  If we go back to the tower, the only way the kids can get to play outside is to go to the park, which means…”
“No,”  Nat said, firmly.  “Nope.  No.  Nuh-uh.”
“They have to be able to go outside and play, Nat,”  Sam said.
“No.”  She repeated, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Nat, they have to.  Taking out the psychological need children have to do that.  They need vitamin d to live.”  I said.
“They can play on the roof,”  Natasha said.  “You said you could make a garden for them to play in, right, Tony?”
“Yeah.  I can do that, but Nat, you can’t …”  Tony started.
“Three years!”  Natasha almost shouted.  “I have saved them from those monsters for three years!”
“I know you have, Natasha,”  I said.  “You've done a great job.  But every year you do it their world becomes smaller.  They can't just exist in a bubble where there are no other parts of the world.  They should be able to go to the beach or Disney or the park with their dog.  The longer we keep them from that the less chance they have of actually being normal kids who can interact with society.  They will grow to resent us for what we kept from them.  I know it sucks... but we have to figure out a way we can navigate in the actual world that negates the damage.”
Natasha scowled and muttered something in Russian as Clint rubbed her back.  She let out a breath and gave a slight nod.  “They need to respect their boundaries, or so help me…”
“Luckily we have someone here who grew up with it and might have some ideas,”  Steve said.
“We could take out restraining orders.  Happy was always pretty good at keeping them out of shot of me.  I’ll talk to him.  Maybe they can have a team that just stays out of sight and sweeps around.”  Tony said.
“That’s a start,”  Steve said.  “We’ll work this out, Natasha, but El is right, as much as we want to protect them, they can’t live in a bubble.”
“I want to keep them in a bubble,”  Natasha muttered.  “I mean it though, I’ll kill them if they get too close to my babies.”
“Mama!”  Pietro scolded, scrunching up his nose.  “Don’t be naughty.”
Natasha laughed so hard she snorted.  “Sorry, bud.”
“Nat snorted.” I giggled.
“El, don’t make me get in trouble with my son again.”  She warned.
“What?  It was cute.”
She eyed me but didn’t say anything and I smirked at her as I took a mouthful of my food.
“I may require some assistance here,”  Thor said.
We all looked over to him to see Riley’s hand stuck to the side of his head.  She looked distressed as Thor held her hand in place so she didn’t yank his hair out.
“Oh, damn,”  Clint said getting up and coming over to him and slowly trying to get Riley’s hand free.  “Okay, get me the vinegar.”
I got up and rushed to the kitchen, bringing back apple cider vinegar.  “Okay, bug, don’t move,”  Clint said as he began to work the vinegar into Thor’s hair and untangle Riley’s hands from it.
“Daddy!”  Riley whined as she tugged on Thor’s hair.
“Jelly Bean, your hand is literally attached to someone else right now,”  Clint said.  “You know how you complain when daddy brushes your hair too hard and it rips the knots out?  That’s what you’re doing to Daddy Thor right now.”
“Sorry, daddy.”  She said, starting to cry.
“It’s okay, princess.  I’m not angry.”  Thor said.
“I stuck.”  She said, fat tears running down her cheeks.
“I know,”  Thor said.  “Daddy Clint is going to get you out.”
“You kids need to use your forks when you eat,”  Steve said.
“Yeah, that’s the difference between babies and big kids,”  Natasha added.
“‘M a big girl.”  Riley sobbed as Pietro picked up his fork and awkwardly started to shovel Mac and Cheese into his mouth, more spilling down his front than getting in his mouth.
Clint managed to work Riley’s hand free and she stopped crying and looked up at him  “Fank you, daddy.”  She said, opening and closing her hand.
“You're welcome, sweetheart,”  Clint said wiping her hands clean.  “Now we’re going to use our fork and after dinner, you and your brother are going to have a bath.”
“Baff!”  Riley said excitedly.
“No, Baff, daddy,”  Pietro whined.
“Thor, we’re going to need to put coconut oil in your hair to untangle it properly.   Maybe a hair mask.  I can help you with that after dinner if you like.”  Clint said.
“I would appreciate that,”  Thor said.
We all finished up eating and Wanda and Sam took the kids for their bath while Clint and I took Thor to fix his hair.
“Take a seat on the edge of the tub,”  Clint said.  “Gotta rinse it out first if I’m gonna try and save it.”
Thor took his shirt off and sat down on the rim of the tub.  Clint began to fiddle with the water and started to rinse Thor’s hair.  “El, can you pass me the wide-toothed comb.”
I handed it over and he carefully began to pick out the knots with it.  “This is going to be some feat.  I hope you’re feeling patient, Thor.”  Clint said.
“You could just shave it.”  I joked.
“Yeah, that would definitely be easier.”  Clint chuckled, as he very patiently worked on Clint’s hair.
“Perhaps that would be best,”  Thor said.  “She was very upset at being stuck.  I do not like that I upset her like that.”
“You’re sure?”  I asked.
“Yes.  I’m sure.”  Thor said.
“Oh, god,”  I said, going to grab the clippers.  “I can’t believe we’re about to shave off the mighty Thor’s beautiful tresses.”
Clint began prepping the clippers while I plugged them in.  “Why are you more upset than Thor?”
I shrugged.  “I’m a dramatic bitch?”
“Okay, well. Don't scream.”  Clint said.  He turned the clippers on and ran them through Thor’s hair.
“Oh my god,”  I said as I watched.  “Don’t make him bald.”
“Don't worry, it'll look good,”  Clint said as he worked.
I watched on as Thor’s hair got shorter and shorter, his blond locks collecting on the floor around him.  I swept up as Clint went and soon it began to look more like a hair cut.  Quite like Clint’s actually.  Short, back and sides, a little more length to the top.  Clint pulled back and looked over his work.  “It’s still gonna need a treatment.”  He said.
“Coconut oil?”  I asked.
Clint nodded and grabbed a brush to sweep away the stray strands and I got the coconut oil and began to work it into Thor’s hair and scalp.
Thor looked up at me and hummed.  “Thank you both.”
“You're welcome.  Sorry about ol' sticky hands.”  I said.
He put his hand on my hips and smiled softly.  “I was warned.”
“Well, this is extreme,”  I said.  “He’s done a good job though.  Steve might say you copied him.”
Thor chuckled.  “It was getting a bit much anyway.  With all my duties I barely had time to take care of it properly.”
“Really?”  I asked, spiking it up at the top.  “But don’t you have people for that.  You had all the braids and everything.”
“I know, but… I have been growing less comfortable with asking for that level of treatment.  I know my people don’t mind but I always feel more relaxed here, when I lack all the privileges that come with the crown.”
“You feel guilty don’t you?”  I asked.  “About not being able to be here?”
“Very much.”  He agreed.
“You’re doing your best.  You’re allowed to put them down when you’re here.”  I said.  “This isn’t ideal, I know.  It wasn’t planned either and you are the king whether that’s what you want or not.”
“They don't want to be put down,”  Thor said, sounding guilty.  “They climb me.”
“I know.  They are really, really excited to see you.  And you're very strong and they like that you just put up with it.”  I said, taking a seat beside him.  “But... being a parent is more than that.  What you're being is a fun uncle.  Which... is Loki's job I guess?  You can be firm with them about boundaries.  And you should be.  That's what being a parent is.”
“I miss them when I am away.  I want to make it count.”  He said, frowning.
“They love you.  We all do.”  I said, rubbing his thigh.  “Are you seeing anyone?  Else I mean.”
“I’m supposed to.”  He said.  “But no.  Nothing else feels right outside of this.”
I rubbed his leg.  “This will always be here.”
“You can probably rinse that out now,”  Clint said sweeping the last of the hair into the trash.
I grabbed the showerhead and rinsed the oil out of his hair.  When he was done I switched it off.  “You want to check the damage?”  Clint asked.
“Please.”  Thor agreed, getting up and looking in the mirror.  “It looks good.  You are good at this.”
Clint blushed a little.  “Thanks.”
Thor pulled Clint up against him.  “No, thank you.”
Clint grinned and leaned up and kissed Thor.  Thor pulled him closer and kissed him hungrily.  Clint hummed and submitted to him, almost melting in the larger man’s embrace.  Thor pulled back and looked down at Clint, he caressed his jaw gently.  “I have missed you, little bird.”
“I missed you too,”  Clint said.
“Shall we go find the others?  Have a little fun?”  Thor suggested.
I smiled and came over and kissed his shoulder.  “I think that’s a very good idea.”
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// NEXT
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wolves-on-caffeine · 6 years
Text
Love bites
Whats this? A fic for you? Yep!
Hope you enjoy!
Warning: blood, agrument at end
Logan was hungry, very hungry.
Normally he kept his hunger under control, but he hadnt been able to eat and was starving.
He was desperate.
So when he saw a hooded figure walking alone past an alleyway, he grabbed them.
“Sorry.” Passed logan’s lips as he shoved the hoodie sleeve up and bit into the strangers wrist.
Logan removed his fangs as quickly as he inserted them and spit out the blood. “Whst the fuck is that?!”
The hooded figured held their wrist. “Shouldnt i be asking you that?”
Logan looked at the guy- yes that was a guy- and had to take a second to compose himself. He was….quite attractive.
“Well yes, under the circumstances that would be expected, but in my defense, i am starving and would rather not taste your blood agian. How do you live with such…such…horrid blood in you?”
The guy stared at logan in disbelief. “Ok so..your a vampire im guessing.” Then crossed his arms.“and uh, rude,much? Im anemic.”
Logan ran the definition through his head quickly, and proceeded to take out iron supplements. “Take oen of these, wait are you on medicine alreasy? probably not with how your blood taste, ill make you a doctors appointment, i will,need your name.”
Hooded guy just stared at him. “No.” He gave a smirk.
“What do you mean no?” logan was confused, wouldn’t a human want to have good blood?
Hooded guy shrugged. “ I mean im not taking medicine, and im not going to a doctor. One, I’m broke, two, what are you going to do to make me? Bite me?”
Logan shoved the supplements at the hooded guy. “Name?”
“And im going to tell you, why?”
Logan gave a smile, “because i have your wallet?” and to prove so, he held it up.
Being a 200+ year old vampire means your good at pick pocketing.
“What? How did you- nevermind.” Hooded guy held out his hand for the wallet.
“Im Virgil. Virgil Bloodgood.”
Logan gave the wallet back and made a face.
“That is the most ironic name ever.”
_______
It had been a month since Logan bite Virgil, and yes, he did find a decent meal after words, but he visited Virgil every day.
Crawling through his apartment window, logan asked. “Did you go to your appointment today?”
Virgil looked up from his place at his desk, doing homework (logan found out he is a college student) and adjusted his hoodie.
“Oh my god Logan, can you not just use the door?”
Logan stood and and closed the window behind him. “I would, but you refuse to invite me in…luckily windows do not apply to that rule.”
Virgil just groaned and rolled across the floor in his chair. “No, i didnt go. You can’t make me.”
Logan sat on his bed. “Did you atleast get the cookbook I bought you?”
“Ah yes, "how to be delicious” the cookbook. Wonderful choice. Tell me, do you get this involved with all your meals?“ Virgil played with his bangs as if he didnt just imply the biggest insult of the century.
Virgil? Just a meal? Virgil who Logan, a vampire, has to force to sleep semi normal hours because he won’t sleep? Virgil who wears long sleeves and hoodies and socks and has 20 blankets on and is still cold? Virgil who dyed his hair purple and looks so adorable? Who shows Logan shows and ‘memes’ of the new world he doesnt understand?
Logan hadn’t know virgil long, but he is way more than 'a meal’ to Logan.
Of course, Virgil does not know that, nor need to know that.
"I only wish for you to be healthy. Your blood taste horrible, and it would not kill you to go to the doctors once to get meds and supplements to help. Also, if you ate atlleast normally instead of maybe once a day, I would back off a little, but if you insist on eating only once a day then it should at least be beneficial to you and include iron or -heaven forbid!- a actual food item instead of snacks and chocolate-”
That rant did not end soon.
______
4 more months and Logan and Virgil were friends(?) In a way at least.
Now Virgil was still stubborn about helping himself, but he was at least eating Proper meals, so long as logan made them (if you want me to eat, i don’t cook-ok, i’m cooking) which lead to logan moving in so he could cook when the sun was out.
But convincing Virgil lead to some….funny situations.
“Virgil, you need to eat! I made high iron food.”
“Not hungry.”
“Virgil, you need to eat.”
“Fine ill eat.”
“Rally? i thought it would be more of a fi-”
“If it is covered in garlic.”
“…You disgust me.” And Logan carefully put garlic on it.
___
Another time: Logan had been opening the curtains so Virgil could get some sun (he stood at the side, dont worry) and Virgil hissed and hid under hai bed.
“Oh my god Virgil, im the vampire, get out and enjoy the sunlight.”
“No, you can’t make me. Sunlight evil.”
“Althought i agree with that last statement, you need vitamin D.”
“Logan, I swear, if you want me to get vitamin D so much, ill go to the sunniest beach on the sunniest day in swim tunka just to avoid you.”
Logan laughed at him. “Please Virgil, no offense, but you? in a crowded beach? ” he laughed.
Virgil glared from the bed and moved to sit in the middle of the sun beam. “Ha, now you can’t touch me.”
Logan gave a fond smile to the back of Virgil and nodded. “Oh well”
_____
“I swear Logan, if you try to take me out to get sunlight in that sun hat of yours, i will go into the hall of mirrors and leave you there.”..Logan, who was wearing a daunting floppy sun hat so he could spend days with virgil outside, shook his head.
“Common misconception, but new mirrors show relections of vampires. It was only old mirrors that had silver backing to make it reflective that wont show reflections.”
Virgil had a evil look growing on his face. “Really now?” And went to the computer.
Logan walked over and looked,over his shoulder.“what are you looking up?”
Logan read the screen and gasped. “You wouldnt dare.”
Virgil grinned and hummed as he hit a picture. “I can afford that.”
“Virgil dont you dare hit that button!”
“Aaaaaand bought!”
That was how Virgil became the 'only’ proud owner of an antique silver backed mirror.
_____
Despite all the agruments, they did get along pretty well.
______
“Logan, what happened to the french in the 1800s?”
“Virgil, just because im over 200 years old doesnt mean i know everything.”
“Ok yeah but what happened?”
“Oh well what happened was-” and Virgil had an essay so good his teacher had him stay late to ask if he cheated. And he didn’t! Technically.
______
“Virgil, you forgot to do laundry again.”
“Oh shit, sorry, I forgot. You need your red polo tonight don’t you?”
“Don’t worry about it, i just wanted to inform you that i took care of it and you need not to worry about it. Also.” Logan threw a blandly at Virgil. “I put this in the dryer for a while. You enjoy when they are warm, do you not?”
Virgil cocooned himself instantly, and snuggled into the warm blanket.
“Your the best lo. What can i do to thank you?”
Logan gave him a smile, “maybe….go,to the doctors,tomorrow?”
Virgil,groaned but sighed. “One appointment! No,more.”
____
“Ok, so i say the meme,,you tel me what it means. Ready?”
Logan gave a determined nod. “Yes, i am ready.”
“Yeet.”
“To throw something, or a way to agree or show excitement.”
“Two bros.”
“Refers too two men who were in a hot tub at a large distance, who are not gay. A tragedy.”
Virgil laughed a bit. “Ok ok.. Free sha vacka do.”
“Fresh avocado spelled wrong, a 'mood’ if i am correct.”
Virgil gave Logan a high five. “You’re doing good, Logan!”
Logan smiled at Virgil. “Why thank you Virgil.”
_____
Virgil knocked on Logan’s door at 4 am.
Logan,opened in second, wide awake.
“Virgil? You should be-”
“Asleep? Yeah, but my room is cold, and I have a test at….3 pm today so I’m worrying.”
“Ah yes…may i ask how i am suppose to help?”
“Let ms sleep in your bed with you.”
Logan couldn’t fight the blush. “W..what?”
Virgil walked in and laid on his bed, messing up the perfect sheets as he did so. “I’m cold. Cuddle me.”
Logan stood at the door blushing. Ok so..sleep deprived Virgil is brave, no filter Virgil. Got it.
“I hate to disappoint, but i do not have a body heat to warm,you with,”
“Oh my god, are you going to cuddle me to not?”
Logan slid into the bed beside Virgil obediently and blushed. Virgil, as promise,d cuddled up to Logan and managed to get back to sleep.
Logan could not sleep. Not with the cuteness beside him, instead he carefully planted a kiss to the human’s forehead and smiled.
_____
“Are fangs sexy to vampires?”
Logan was..not expecting that. They were watching Steven Universe, when did fangs pop up?
“I..im sorry but..how did you come to this question?”
Virgil shrugged,sliding into the blankets more. “I’ve kinda been thinking about it for a while..cause you are pretty hot and..fangs add to that. So, as a human, i find fangs hot. But like..do other vampires find fangs hot?”
Logan stared at Virgil. He thought Logan was hot? Well perhaps…
“Well vampires do tend to see fangs as..flirtatious or..intimate…. I..personally..do prefer…flatter teeth myself.”
Virgil blushes and Logan could see the tip of a smile behind the blanket.
“Oh, ok.”
____
2 more months an Logan finally confessed. It was…messy.
Virgil and Logan had been having an argument over his need to have more iron, but it was..getting out of hand.
“I don’t want,to fucking eat that!”
“I know you like this food, you said this was your favorite and it is high in iron!”
"Why can’t you fuck off about my iron!“
"Why can’t you just eat without complaint for once!”
Virgil had grabbed Logan’s tie and pulled him down to eye level. “Will you stop treating me like I’m a fucking farm animal your waiting to chop up and eat! Quit treating me like your fucking meal!” Virgil had let go and backed up a bit, glaring daggers at the vampire.
Logan had to process everything. The argument, the closeness, the tie pulling,
'Your fucking meal!’ Rang in Logan’s head.
Logan grabbed Virgil by his hoodie and slammed his lips onto him, ignoring the tiny drops of blood he got from his and Virgil's lips alike (it was crushed kiss, fangs got in the way a bit)
Breaking the kiss, Logan glared. “You haven't been 'just a meal’ to me! Your sarcastic and honest and fucking gorgeous! You make my heart beat and my head spot working! I want you to eat and take care of yourself because i want you to be healthy, not so I can drink your blood! I love you Virgil, why can’t you see that!”
Virgil’s small squeak is what broke Logan out of it. He let go of his hoodie and backed away quickly, shock on his face.
“Virgil I..i am…"he took a breath, trying to force himself calm. "I apologize, my actions were not…they were uncalled for and I am Sorry I did that-”
“Did you mean it?”
“What?”
“Did you mean it when you said you loved me?”
Logan blushed and steeled himself, trying to prepare for the worse. He gave a nod. “I..I do love you Virgil…in a…romantic sense.”
Virgil seemed to relax a bit and rubbed on his bleeding lip. “Well…it would have been nice to be asked first, but….I’m glad.”
“Huh?”
Virgil walked over to Logan and grabbed his tie, gently pulling him in closer and giving him a soft kiss.
“Love you too.”
I loved this! Thank you so much!! I always love receiving fanfic, especially from you. ~S
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charliebattinson · 6 years
Text
We’re Best Friends? | De·par·ture [Part 9] | Shawn Mendes
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A/N: Hello Hello... so yeah part 9 haha. This is going to end soon probably 2 to 3 more chapters! Just always want to say thank you for the support! I love you all. A huge thank you to the pros @ffsshawn​ and @lostinshawnslight​ for guiding me with writing smut (omfg it’s so fucking hard to write i don’t even know how you fuckers do it) lmao. Also I’m sorry this is my first time writing smut so it’s sucky. I tried lol Enjoy! Constructive criticism is much a appreciated! Reblog! Like! or not lmao
Warnings: 🌸Smut 🌸
Word Count: 3.1 K
“Honey! I got the pins!” My mom says as she enters my room.
“Oh, thank god!” I exclaim as I take the pins from her and proceed to fix my bun. We’re getting ready for the wedding.
“You look beautiful, sweetie” my mother compliments.
‘Thanks mom. You look lovely as well” I smile to her
“Oh my,when Shawn sees you in that dress”
“Mom!” I warn her. Ever since our talk that night, she would not stop nagging about me and Shawn.
“Right. Sorry.” She smirks.
“Mom, you’re the only one that knows okay? Please don’t tell anybody! Not even dad and especially grandma! You know how nana gets!” I plead.
“I can’t argue with you on that” She giggles, and raises her hand. “I, the mother of Blake shall not tell anybody about my daughter’s secret boy”
My mother sometimes tsk tsk.
“Thank you!” I smile to her.
“Mhmm. Well I should head down and get your father ready. See you downstairs”
“Okay mom” I reply. She kisses the side of my head and heads down.
I head to my mirror to fix myself for one last time before heading out. Adjusting my dress and all. Being one of the bridesmaids, my cousin chose pink and thank god it’s short! So much easier to move around. I hear footsteps going up the stairs and smile to myself knowing who it is.
“Hey” he says.
I look at him through the mirror as he leans by my doorway, hands on his pockets looking ridiculously handsome in his suit and tie.
“Hey” I say turning around to face him as he comes closer to me.
“Look at you” I tell shawn as I fix his tie. “You look so good” resting my hands on his chest.
“Please. I always look good” he smirks while I roll my eyes at how huge his ego can be at times.
“Mhm. Do you like the dress?” I ask him, twirling around and showing it off.
“Yeah. You’re so pretty” he compliments me; kissing my cheek. His lips linger there moving to the corner of my mouth then jaw, his lips going lower and lower. I sigh as he starts to leave open mouth kisses at my neck and backs me up against the wall.
“Shawn” I breathe out even if I don’t know why I’m saying it. I really can’t think when his lips are on my skin. He makes me forget every rational thought, makes me remember only his name.
“Yes?” He asks me. His hand pulling down the strap of my dress to kiss my shoulder.
“Uh nothing. Continue please” Bringing his face up to mine so I can kiss him. We kiss feverishly, kissing like it’s our last time because it will be in a couple of hours. I wont get to feel those lips for a while.
You only got a day with him left. Make it count.
His lips leave mine to kiss down my chest and bring his hand underneath the dress; hiking it up and toying with the band of my underwear. He’s teasing me and I know he wants to do it right here right now. In my childhood bedroom.
“Shawn”  I breathe out as he kisses a sensitive spot. “As much as I want to, We’re gonna be late and I gotta walk the aisle.” I sigh as I play with his curls.
“I know” he sighs, moving his lips away from my neck.
“Besides you’re too tall to fit my bed” I giggle at him as we both look at my childhood bed. The bed we used to share as kids. It’s funny how things work out, in the beginning you’re both just innocent kids, the best for friends sharing a bed then 18 years later you’re doing the things you never thought you would do with a friend.
I look at Shawn’s face and see him smile, he’s probably reminiscing about our night together and how everything changed in a blink of an eye.
“No regrets?” He asks.
“Never in a million years.” I smile.
“You look like Prince Charming” I roll my eyes and look over at Shawn.
“Why thank you and you look like a princess,’” Shawn says to my 7 year old cousin “A very pretty one” as he boops her nose as she giggles. We’re seated at the kids table at the reception because of some mix up but I don’t mind a bit. There’s no adults beside us asking us so many questions. It’s funny seeing Shawn stand out because he’s so tall.
“Look at you hitting on other girls. Tsk tsk.” I tell him. He smiles to me, with red cheeks because of the alcohol we consumed at the open bar, putting an arm at the back of my chair “Well I gotta practice, there’s a lot of pretty girls in Amsterdam” he says while I laugh.
“Are you excited?” I ask him. He should be. Amsterdam is a wonderful place to live. Even if it’s a thousand miles away. Away from me.
“I’m not gonna lie. I really am.” He says with a huge smile and it makes my heart swell for my best friend. He gets to do what he loves and that’s enough for me to cope with the distance that’s about to come.
“You should be. I’m so proud of you” caressing the little hairs at the back of his neck. “Are you ready?” I ask. Shawn doesn’t have to guess to know what I’m asking. Are you ready to be away from me?
“No. I’m not. I’m excited but I’m not ready to be away from you.” he sighs, putting his hand on my thigh for comfort. “Are you?” he throws my question back at me.  
I laugh. “Not one fucking bit. I mean no sex for six months? Oh man.” I whistle.
“I knew you just wanted me for my body” he shakes his head at me.
“Well, it’s a really hot body. Can you blame me?” I reply back and his cheeks blush even more.
“We could always have Facetime sex you know?” He tells me. I shrug my shoulders “Phone sex too, I could practice all my sexy voices”, giggling at him.
“I’m good with all just as long as it’s with you.” He says with the utmost sincerity, the way he’s staring at me sets a livewire inside and suddenly I want him. I want him now. At my cousin’s wedding reception. What the fuck.
“Remember that supply closet we used to go to when we were kids everytime we had parties here?
He nods, “The one where we close the lights and tell each other ghost stories?”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah. I remember.” He replies.
I lean to whisper in his ear, “Wanna fuck there?”
Shawn’s eyes go wide as he lets out a breath, “Blake. Really? Here?”
“Yeah man. I’m not gonna get any vitamin D for six months. Besides we got about two hours before I have to drive you to the airport.”
“But the rules?”
“Fuck that” I whisper realizing that we’re surrounded by kids.
“I cannot believe we are having this discussion at the kids table”
“Come on, Meet me there” I tell, giving him a peck on the lips, leaving to head there.
I’m scared. This supply closet gives me the creeps and I’m starting to second guess if Shawn is ever going to meet me.
Knock Knock
I open the door as fast as I can. “Oh thank god! I was getting the creeps and I thought you chickened out o--” I’m cut short when I feel Shawn’s lips on mine and the rest is forgotten. I pull him quickly inside and back him up against the door. His hand leaves my face to lock the door behind us.
We kiss and kiss until we’re catching our breaths. His hands rest on my rear while mine are holding his face. He pushes me to the opposite wall but trips on something that makes pushes me hard against the wall; we giggle as he apologizes. He then slides the straps off my dress to pull it down, enough to lower his head and attach his lips to my hardened nipple, circling his tongue around it and sucking on it.
“Shawn,” I breathed, sinking my fingers through his curls. A hiss of pleasure left my lips when he gave the same attention to the other breast and fondling with the other, adding to the ache to feel him again.
‘Now,” I begged, clenching my thighs together removing his suit jacket off his shoulders. “I need you. Now”
“We got time. Be patient” He says as his hands push my dress up to my waist then gets down on his knees making me grip on his shoulders for support. I feel his breath down there and making me arch my back.
“I won’t get to taste you for a while” He huskily murmured, kissing my inner thighs.
“Shawn, come on…” My tone of voice enough to tell him what I want him to do to me. I want him so badly now.
He hummed as his fingers hooked around the elastic of my underwear. “Cute underwear.” he chuckled. I was going to throw a curse at him for teasing way too much but when he pulled my underwear down and kissed me where I needed it, all thoughts left my head. He flicked, licked and sucked where I wanted him, gripping on his hair for dear life.
I grab his face to pull him up to me, kissing his lips as I taste myself. “Now, Shawn” I tell him as I start to unbuckle his belt, seeing the bulge forming. He smirks at me, “What’s the magic word?” This fucker.  Rolling my eyes, “Please.” I tell him.
“I got you” as he picks me up by the back of my thighs, winding my legs around his waist. I set him free from the confinement of his boxers, wrapping my hand around his cock, working him up and down. “Blake, stop. You’re gonna make me come.” he says as he gets a hold of my hand.
“Then get inside me already,” I tell him. He grabs his length and slowly starts to push himself inside me. His fingers biting into my thighs. We were breathing heavily, our bodies rigid with need. Need for each other.
We moaned together. It’s hard and fast. It’s fueled by so much need. This is the first time we’re having sex since that night and I wish I had more time but sadly, I’ve only got two hours left.
“I’m gonna miss you so fucking much” he says with every thrust.
“I’m gonna miss you too,” I hissed, clenching my legs even tighter around him and gripping on his hair. “Please don’t stop” I moan to him when he hits a really good spot. “I’m gonna- don’t stop.”
He becomes frantic, my back ramming against the wall with each hard thrust he gives. “I won’t.” He kissed me on the lips, brushing against mine. “I never want to. You feel so good.”
Shawn sets an even faster tone that bring the both of us over the edge. We linger for a while trying to catch our breaths, never leaving our positions. Shawn has his mouth pressed against the crook of my shoulder, holding me through the aftershocks to keep me from collapsing. After a while, he pulls out and finally sets me down but never leaving his body from mine.
“Fuck you for that no sex rule” I tell him, nuzzling my face in his neck.
He chuckles to me, kissing me in the forehead. “Well who’s the idiot for following them? Eh?” raising his eyebrows at me.
“Touche.”
“We should probably head back. They’re probably looking for us” He says reaching for my hand to intertwine it with his. As much as I want to stay longer, I know we can’t and that no matter what I do he’s leaving tonight. “Yeah, we probably should.” I tell him sliding my underwear back on and putting his jacket back on. He opens the door, and popping his head outside.
“Is the coast clear?” I ask.
“Yeah, come on” He steps out of the room with my hand still in his. We walk the hallway to head back to the reception area when my grandma appears out of fucking nowhere.
“Blake, sweetheart!” She exclaims.
“Nana!” My eyes go wide. “Hi!” I feel so dirty seeing my grandma after doing god knows what with Shawn. We both look like a mess. More like thoroughly fucked. His hair is all over the place, his shirt all crumpled while I left my hair down because how Shawn messed up my bun.
“I’m good sweetie. How are you? And of course, how are you too as well, Shawn?” She asks so innocently.
“Good” We both exclaim. She looks at both of us and down to our hands, that are still intertwined. She smirks at us “Well, I’m not going to bother the two of you. You both go have fun, okay?” She says as she heads to go the opposite direction.
“You think she knows?” Shawn asks.
“Nana always knows.” I say snorting.
We head back outside to the reception area, it’s a beautiful garden with a big amount of fairly lights decorated everywhere and the stage occupied with people slow dancing. I start to smile when I hear one of my favorite songs play, This Year’s Love by David Gray.
Shawn nudges me in the shoulder. “Hey, wanna dance to your favorite song?” He asks offering his hand to me.
“We got time?” I bite my lip as I take his hand.
“We always got time for one dance”
The drive going to the airport is quiet, it’s the impending doom.
Shawn looks at the window, his hand on my thigh, comforting me or maybe him. He sings a song that I can’t pinpoint what it is. We’re both still in our wedding attire, Shawn’s tie loosed and his sleeves rolled up.
I see the airport lights and I hate how it makes my heart drop. We head to the parking lot, and bring him to his terminal holding his hand in mine all the way.  I wait as he fixes his flight at the frontier then heads right back to me.
“Here we go”
“Here you go” I smile to him though I’m pretty sure it doesn’t reach my eyes
“Blake. It’s just six months.”
“Six months.” I repeat
“You can always come and visit me. I’ll come home too”
“Yeah you’re right. I’m just— you know. I’m not used to us being apart this long” I stumble with words. I don’t know what to say except that I don’t want him to leave. I want him to stay.
“Hey, look at me.” He cups my face is his hands. “We’ll be fine. You’re going to be okay. I’m going to be okay. I promised I wouldn’t leave you”
“I know. “ taking a hold of his hands in mine, kissing him on the lips. “I know” i say smiling.
“Can I ask you something?” He asks
“Sure”
He hesitates to asks. He looks nervous. “What are we? I mean I’m not pressuring you or anything. I just wanna know before I get on the plane.”
I was worried he was going to ask about this. “Whatever it takes us, I guess. I haven’t thought about it. I’m sorry” 
“Aye captain. No worries” he tells me smiling even if i know the smile doesn’t completely reach his face. I know he’s disappointed, knowing he wanted an answer but i don’t want to pressure myself because he’s leaving, ignoring the advice of my mother. It’s not fair to me or him.
Flight 1437 from New York to Amsterdam is boarding in 30 minutes.
“I guess you better get going tough guy.” lightly punching his shoulder.
“Yeah. I just gotta do something before I go”
“What?” I say, confused.
“All my bags are packed. I’m ready to go.”
“What are you—“ I say furrowing my brows as he begins to sing
“I’m standing here outside your door.”
“No. Nope. You’re not doing this here” I tell him realizing the song he’s singing.
“I hate to wake you up to say goodbye” he continues singing to me and it makes my heart drop even more.
“Shawn stop” I tell him but of course he doesn’t stop. He drops his bags and holds my face in his hands.
“But the dawn is breaking’ it’s early morn. The taxi’s waiting’ he’s blowin’ his horn, already i’m so lonesome I could die.”
Then he surprises me as he picks me up , wrapping my legs around him as he continues to sing
“So kiss me and smile for me. Tell me that you’ll wait for me. Hold me like you’ll never let me go”
My eyes are watery and I can’t afford to look him in the face so nuzzle myself in his neck and just hug him really tight.
“Cause I’m leaving on a jet plane. Don’t know when I’ll be back again. Oh babe, I hate to go”  he puts me down the floor but never breaking apart.
“You really pulled a Ben Affleck on me huh? How romantic” I say trying to keep my voice from breaking.
“Oh come on, you like that shit” he says
“I do. “
“Good” He smiles and leans down to grab his bags. “Well, I guess I should be going then;”
“I guess you should” I sigh. “Please message me when you land, send a selfie or something”
“Of course. Can you do one thing for me too?” He asks.
“Yeah?”
“Miss me” then leans to kiss for one last time.
“I already am”
He turns to leave, going up the escalator and waves a hand at me which I return. Watching his figure slowly disappear. I walk slowly to my car, enjoying the breeze of the early morning hours. Everything is going to be different for now, it’s weird not having my best friend with me every day but he’s pursuing what his dreams and that’s what matters.
I spot my car and as I enter the driver’s seat, my phone beeps notifying a new message.
Fucker:
I’m on the plane. Thanks for the goodbye sex. I miss you already.
I laugh but then tears start to fall on my face so I don’t know whether I’m crying or laughing or doing both at the same time.
“Six months. It’s just six months.” I tell myself.
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exquisite-yoongi · 6 years
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EVERYTHING ABOUT YOONGI
This post is hella long but there is everything you should know or watch about Min Yoongi. You’ll find facts, best of fancams, unforgettable quotes & legendary lyrics.
FACTS 
• real name is Min Yoongi
• born 9 March 1993
• from Daegu 
• Suga is short for Shooting Guard (his position in basket)
• alias Min Suga alias Grandpa alias Agust D alias Motionless Min alias Turtle alias Sugar alias DBoy alias Min Suga Genius Jjang Jjang man Bboong Bboong 
• loves music 
• absolute lyrical genius
• raps faster than the speed of light. hella control over his voice (X)
• is ranked 11 as the fastest rapper on Korea & on top three as fastest ‘idol’ rapper
• plays the piano (X & X)
• amazing on stage : completely in his element
• released a mixtape under the name Agust D 
• his mixtape saved hip-hop. Saved lives. Saved the world goddamn Yoongi
• he produced his entire mixtape just by himself. Worked very hard on it every time he could (between schedule, in planes, along working for other musics for BTS)
• this masterpiece was released for free
• there is no imitation, no meaningless lyrics, no misogyny and no racial slurs on it
• his mixtape talks about him and his struggles
• was the happiest person in the world when he met Kumamom. It was way too adorable for this world to handle (X)
• very socially aware, he wants to use his fame to shift people’s attention to global problems 
• which he did with the campaign Love Yourself in 2017 
• when he got sick and was rushed to the hospital, he couldn’t assist a concert. During his vacation time, he went to the stadium by himself and wrote about it in the fancafe. He sat in the seats of the stadium and forced himself to imagine the fans’ emotions on the day that was supposed to be the concert. He then wrote a long apology. 
• works from 12 am to 6 am on music. even after a full day of training or concert preparation or filming etc. That’s why he sleeps whenever he gets the chance
• when BTS had to pack for their backpacking trip through Europe, he was the one that remembered to pack medicine and first aid supplies. he cleaned up before living the hotel room, helped cooking and was in charge of their budget
• wrote, composed, produced some of BTS songs (like Tomorrow, Never Mind, Dead Leaves, Boyz with Fun, ~) 
• participate in the making of almost every Bts song
• looks gorgeous in every hair colour 
• twice said he would sue Bighit if his hair started falling out haha
• gummy smile (X)
• laughs in 10 different ways
• in the song ’Moving On’ he dedicated his section to his Mom, who was sick after she gave birth to him
• he danced around the studio in the early hours of the morning when ’Never Mind’ was approved to be the intro of HYYH pt.2
• really like a lamb skewers. wants to open a lamb skewers restaurant with Jungkook (X)
• his only goal is to make music that gives people emotions or comfort
• the root of his passion goes back to when he started making music at the age of 13
• his dream was to perform at Olympic Gymnastics Arena. at the end of the concert, he looked for his parents and brother in the crowd. when he saw them he smiled and got on the floor to do a deep bow (the kind where your forehead touches the ground) and cried for the first time at a concert (X & X)
• at fansigns, fan get to write them a question “What’s more important? Face or body?” Is asked a lot and Yoongi is the only one that writes a third option “Personality” and circles it and write that it’s the most important. he does this every time the question comes up
• when asked for the ideal weight in a girl he writes a ridiculous number
• when asked what age difference he would date he wrote 81 years haha
• tells everyone to eat well and take care of themselves 
• loves his fans more than anything
• extremely open-minded person 
• in a recent interview in the US, he always specified boyfriend or girlfriend when asked about dating
• when he and Namjoon were being disrespected by Bfree during an interview, he stayed calm and handled the situation very well.
• then proceeded to drag the HELL OUT OF HIM in Cypher pt.2
• the S in Suga stands for Savage
• sarcasm is his second name
• relatable af
• the time he and Hoseok (J-hope) reacted to a try not to laugh challenge of themselves and Yoongi laughed so hard he choked
• his existence is art
• the thing he does when his members are doing embarrassing stuff he just curls up and covers his face
• on his first birthday after he debuted he spent his own money to make gifts for the fans and hand-wrote over 300 notes (each one different…!)
• took pictures of Jungkook at his graduation like he was a proud parent
• the time when he and Hoseok lost a game and didn’t get dinner, Jimin brought them a crab from their table and Yoongi let Hoseok have it “seeing my dongsaeng eat makes me feel full”
• he silently takes care of bangtan
• says his members are his closest friends
• says Bighit is like a family
• when Hoseok was celebrating New Years alone in the dorms, Yoongi left his family and showed up with chicken just so Hoseok wouldn’t have to spend new years by himself
• that time during a fanmeeting a fan asked him “My Yoongi vitamin. I like you so much that I can’t live properly, tell me how to solve this?” and he responded “Just totally give up on this life and just only look at me.” (X)
• that one time Yoongi got really passionate about coffee and said he needed 309 people to help him “catch” coffee
• the time he sang his heart out with Hoseok for “I was able to eat well” and sounded terrible
• the time they had a high note challenge and Yoongi sang so high that no noise came out (X)
• so extra all the time
• that time he had to introduced himself and pulled confetti out of his pocket and threw it over himself (X)
• but also unamused all the time
• he’s a paradox
• the way he’s scared of fireworks going off (X)
• easily put in place by Jin, but also ignores all of his jokes
• really good dancer
• he just works hard
• that time a member woke him up by accident and Yoongi swore on camera (X)
• literally a deadass person at the awards show until Namjoon was up next to perform and Yoongi couldn’t stop being hyped and looking for him (X)
• that time Min Yoongi fell off a chair and told us on Twitter and RM made fun of him and suggested we now call him “MinClumsy” or “MinButt” 
• #MinButt (#민덩방아) was then trending on Twitter
• RM proceeded to publish a picture where Yoongi shows his butt and put 2 bandages on him (X)
• says he’s not always the best at expressing himself verbally, but wants everyone to know he is always thankful
• said in an interview his life style was “sleep eat work” 
• proud father of Shooky, his BT21 character 
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IMPORTANT OR LEGENDARY FANCAMS
• Airplane pt.2, Lotte Family Concert (180622) -> I need holy water (1:44)
• First Love, Wings Tour Final (171208) -> couldn’t finish singing because of his emotions
• Spring Day, MMA (171202) -> absolute god
• Come Back Home, SEO TAIJI 25th Concert Anniversary (170924) -> this whole concert was dope tbh
• Fire, MMA (161119) -> infires man
• Blood Sweat & Tears, Mnet MCountdown Comeback Stage (161027) -> bless the wind
• Fire, (160907) -> happy, cute, cocky and sexy all at once
• Baepsae, in Beijing (160723) -> tired but still oh boy damn. 
• Tomorrow, in Beijing (160723) -> sweating Yoongi
• I like it pt. 2, (160614) -> smiles everytime he hears the fans screaming because of their dance then acts sexy on purpose
• Dope, KBS Open Concert (160315) -> this boy has no chill god dammit
• I Need U + Run, MBC (151231) -> Yoongi playing the piano
• I Need U, (151106) -> looks so good 
• Boyz With Fun, (151028) -> Suga having fun + smile smile smile + looks so fine 
• Cypher pt. 2 & 3, All Force One (150920) -> if you don’t know about this you’re missing on something big. 
LEGENDARY LYRICS 
• “A to the G to the U to the STD” - Agust D
• “My seat is business, yours is economy, forever behind me kissing my ass” - Agust D
• “Min Yoongi is already dead (I killed him)” - The Last
• “A word said like habit, oh, I don’t give a shit, I don’t give a fuck, those words are all words I use to hide my weak self” - The Last
• “This world sprinkled with my creations, I’ve tasted sweetness and bitterness and even shit, from that time I tried to sleep on the floor of a bathroom, now it’s a memory to me” - The Last
• “Dream, rather than humble, at the end we’ll be prosperous” - So Far Away
• “A brown piano settled on one side” - First Love 
• “It’s not easy but I say to myself, If you think you’re going to crash, step on the pedal harder” - Never Mind
• “Bultaoreune” - Fire
• “Yes, look down on me like that. It’s my hobby to prove you wrong” - We On
• “If I’m the sun you’re the moon, because when I rise, you go down.” - Cypher pt. 2 : Triptych
• “I’m a starfish that eats and grows on your jealousy and envy, As you know, my voice will turn you on, Whether it’s a guy or girl, my tongue will make you come" - Cypher pt.3 
• “Mic mic bungee” - MIC Drop
• “I’m a D-boy yeah I’m a D-boy” - Ma City 
UNFORGETTABLE QUOTES
• “love yourself love myself peace” - MMA (171202)
• "Min Suga. Genius. Those two words should be enough"
•  “I want to reincarnated and be a rock in my next life”
• “I’m father Louis Williams Suga Adams the Third”
• “I’m good at doing ugly stuff”
• “I’d like to introduce you to my lover… this neckpillow”
• “I’ve always wanted to nap in a different country”
Inspired by x 
OTHER MEMBERS : Jin / Hoseok / Namjoon / Jimin / Taehyung / Jungkook 
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wickedbananas · 6 years
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Getting Real with Retail: An Agency’s Guide to Inspiring In-Store Excellence
Posted by MiriamEllis
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No marketing agency staffer feels good when they see a retail client getting reviews like this on the web.
But we can find out why they’re happening, and if we’re going above-and-beyond in our work, we just might be able to catalyze turning things around if we’re committed to being honest with clients and have an actionable strategy for their in-store improvements.
In this post, I’ll highlight some advice from an internal letter at Tesla that I feel is highly applicable to the retail sector. I’d also like to help your agency combat the retail blues headlining the news these days with big brands downsizing, liquidating and closing up shop — I’m going to share a printable infographic with some statistics with you that are almost guaranteed to generate the client positivity so essential to making real change. And, for some further inspiration, I’d like to offer a couple of anecdotes involving an Igloo cooler, a monk, reindeer moss, and reviews.
The genuine pain of retail gone wrong: The elusive cooler, "Corporate," and the man who could hardly stand
“Hi there,” I greeted the staffer at the customer service counter of the big department store. “Where would I find a small cooler?”
“We don’t have any,” he mumbled.
“You don’t have any coolers? Like, an Igloo cooler to take on a picnic to keep things cold?”
“Maybe over there,” he waved his hand in unconcern.
And I stood there for a minute, expecting him to actually figure this out for me, maybe even guide me to the appropriate aisle, or ask a manager to assist my transaction, if necessary. But in his silence, I walked away.
“Hi there,” I tried with more specificity at the locally owned general store the next day. “Where would I find something like a small Igloo cooler to keep things cold on a picnic?”
“I don’t know,” the staffer replied.
“Oh…” I said, uncomfortably.
“It could be upstairs somewhere,” he hazarded, and left me to quest for the second floor, which appeared to be a possibly-non-code-compliant catch-all attic for random merchandise, where I applied to a second dimly illuminated employee who told me I should probably go downstairs and escalate my question to someone else.
And apparently escalation was necessary, for on the third try, a very tall man was able to lift his gaze to some coolers on a top shelf… within clear view of the checkout counter where the whole thing began.
Why do we all have experiences like this?
“Corporate tells us what to carry” is the almost defensive-sounding refrain I have now received from three employees at two different Whole Foods Markets when asking if they could special order items for me since the Amazon buyout.
Because, you know, before they were Amazon-Whole Foods, staffers would gladly offer to procure anything they didn’t have in stock. Now, if they stop carrying that Scandinavian vitamin D-3 made from the moss eaten by reindeer and I’ve got to have it because I don’t want the kind made by irradiating sheep wool, I’d have to special order an entire case of it to get my hands on a bottle. Because, you know, “Corporate.”
Why does the distance between corporate and customer make me feel like the store I’m standing in, and all of its employees, are powerless? Why am I, the customer, left feeling powerless?
So maybe my search for a cooler, my worries about access to reindeer moss, and the laughable customer service I’ve experienced don’t signal “genuine pain.” But this does:
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This is genuine pain. When customer service is failing to the point that badly treated patrons are being further distressed by the sight of fellow shoppers meeting the same fate, the cause is likely built into company structure. And your marketing agency is looking at a bonafide reputation crisis that could presage things like lawsuits, impactful reputation damage, and even closure for your valuable clients.
When you encounter customer service disasters, it begs questions like:
Could no one in my situation access a list of current store inventory, or, barring that, seek out merchandise with me instead of risking the loss of a sale?
Could no one offer to let “corporate” know that I’m dissatisfied with a “customer service policy” that would require me to spend $225 to buy a whole case of vitamins? Why am I being treated like a warehouse instead of a person?
Could no one at the pharmacy see a man with a leg wound about to fall over, grab a folding chair for him, and keep him safe, instead of risking a lawsuit?
I think a “no” answer to all three questions proceeds from definite causes. And I think Tesla CEO, Elon Musk, had such causes in mind when he recently penned a letter to his own employees.
“It must be okay for people to talk directly and just make the right thing happen.”
“Communication should travel via the shortest path necessary to get the job done, not through the 'chain of command.' Any manager who attempts to enforce chain of command communication will soon find themselves working elsewhere. A major source of issues is poor communication between depts. The way to solve this is allow free flow of information between all levels. If, in order to get something done between depts, an individual contributor has to talk to their manager, who talks to a director, who talks to a VP, who talks to another VP, who talks to a director, who talks to a manager, who talks to someone doing the actual work, then super dumb things will happen. It must be ok for people to talk directly and just make the right thing happen. In general, always pick common sense as your guide. If following a 'company rule' is obviously ridiculous in a particular situation, such that it would make for a great Dilbert cartoon, then the rule should change.” - Elon Musk, CEO, Tesla
Let’s parlay this uncommon advice into retail. If it’s everyone’s job to access a free flow of information, use common sense, make the right thing happen, and change rules that don’t make sense, then:
Inventory is known by all store staff, and my cooler can be promptly located by any employee, rather than workers appearing helpless.
Employees have the power to push back and insist that, because customers still expect to be able to special order merchandise, a specific store location will maintain this service rather than disappoint consumers.
Pharmacists can recognize that patrons are often quite ill and can immediately place some chairs near the pharmacy counter, rather than close their eyes to suffering.
“But wait,” retailers may say. “How can I trust that an employee’s idea of ‘common sense’ is reliable?”
Let’s ask a monk for the answer.
“He took the time...”
I recently had the pleasure of listening to a talk given by a monk who was defining what it meant to be a good leader. He hearkened back to his young days, and to the man who was then the leader of his community.
“He was a busy man, but he took the time to get to know each of us one-on-one, and to be sure that we knew him. He set an example for me, and I watched him,” the monk explained.
Most monasteries function within a set of established rules, many of which are centuries old. You can think of these guidelines as a sort of policy. In certain communities, it’s perfectly acceptable that some of the members live apart as hermits most of the year, only breaking their meditative existence by checking in with the larger group on important holidays to share what they’ve been working on solo. In others, every hour has its appointed task, from prayer, to farming, to feeding people, to engaging in social activism.
The point is that everyone within a given community knows the basic guidelines, because at some point, they’ve been well-communicated. Beyond that, it is up to the individual to see whether they can happily live out their personal expression within the policy.
It’s a lot like retail can be, when done right. And it hinges on the question:
“Has culture been well-enough communicated to every employee so that he or she can act like the CEO of the company would in wide variety of circumstances?”
Or to put it another way, would Amazon owner Jeff Bezos be powerless to get me my vitamins?
The most accessible modern benchmark of good customer service — the online review — is what tells the public whether the CEO has “set the example.” Reviews tell whether time has been taken to acquaint every staffer with the business that employs them, preparing them to fit their own personal expression within the company’s vision of serving the public.
An employee who is able to recognize that an injured patron needs a seat while awaiting his prescription should be empowered to act immediately, knowing that the larger company supports treating people well. If poor training, burdensome chains of command, or failure to share brand culture are obstacles to common-sense personal initiative, the problem must be traced back to the CEO and corrected, starting from there.
And, of course, should a random staffer’s personal expression genuinely include an insurmountable disregard for other people, they can always be told it’s time to leave the monastery...
For marketing agencies, opportunity knocks
So your agency is auditing a valuable incoming client, and their negative reviews citing dirty premises, broken fixtures, food poisoning, slowness, rudeness, cluelessness, and lack of apparent concern make you say to yourself,
“Well, I was hoping we could clean up the bad data on the local business listings for this enterprise, but unless they clean up their customer service at 150 of their worst-rated locations, how much ROI are we really going to be able to deliver? What’s going on at these places?”
Let’s make no bones about this: Your honesty at this critical juncture could mean the difference between survival and closure for the brand.
You need to bring it home to the most senior level person you can reach in the organization that no amount of honest marketing can cover up poor customer service in the era of online reviews. If the brand has fallen to the level of the pharmacy I’ve cited, structural change is an absolute necessity. You can ask the tough questions, ask for an explanation of the bad reviews.
“But I’m just a digital marketer,” you may think. “I’m not in charge of whatever happens offline.”
Think again.
Headlines in retail land are horrid right now:
The mall crisis is secretly morphing into a full-on Armageddon - Business Insider
America’s ‘Retail Apocalypse’ Is Really Just Beginning - Bloomberg
Retail Wreck? Over 1,000 Stores Close in a Single Week - NBC
8 Companies Amazon is Killing - Investopedia
These major retailers have closed more than 5,000 stores in 2017 - Clark.com
If you were a retail brand C-suite and were swallowing these predictions of doom with your daily breakfast, wouldn’t you be looking for inspiration from anyone with genuine insight? And if a marketing agency should make it their business to confront the truth while also being the bearer of some better news, wouldn’t you be ready to listen?
What is the truth? That poor reviews are symptoms smart doctors can use for diagnosis of structural problems. What is the better news? The retail scenario is not nearly as dire as it may seem.
Why let hierarchy and traditional roles hold your agency back? Tesla wouldn’t. Why not roll up your sleeves and step into in-store? Organize and then translate the narrative negative reviews are telling about structural problems for the brand which have resulted in dangerously bad customer service. And then, be prepared to counter corporate inertia born of fear with some eye-opening statistics.
Print and share some good retail tidings
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Print your own copy of this infographic to share with clients.
At Moz, we’re working with enterprises to get their basic location data into shape so that they are ready to win their share of the predicted $1.4 trillion in mobile-influenced local sales by 2021, and your agency can use these same numbers to combat indecision and apathy for your retail clients. Look at that second statistic again: 90% of purchases are still happening in physical stores. At Moz, we ask our customers if their data is ready for this. Your agency can ask its clients if their reputations are ready for this, if their employees have what they need to earn the brand’s piece of that 90% action. Great online data + great in-store service = table stakes for retail success.
While I won’t play down the unease that major brand retail closures is understandably causing, I hope I’ve given you the tools to fight the “retail disaster” narrative. 85% more mobile users are searching for things like “Where do I buy that reindeer moss vitamin D3?” than they were just 3 years ago. So long as retail staff is ready to deliver, I see no “apocalypse” here.
Investing time
So, your agency has put in the time to identify a reputation problem severe enough that it appears to be founded in structural deficiencies or policies. Perhaps you’ve used some ORM software to do review sentiment analysis to discover which of your client’s locations are hurting worst, or perhaps you’ve done an initial audit manually. You've communicated the bad news to the most senior-level person you can reach at the company, and you've also shared the statistics that make change seem very worthwhile, begging for a new commitment to in-store excellence. What happens next?
While there are going to be nuances specific to every brand, my bet is that the steps will look like this for most businesses:
C-suites need to invest time in creating a policy which a) abundantly communicates company culture, b) expresses trust in employee initiative, and c) dispenses with needless “chain of command” steps, while d) ensuring that every public facing staffer receives full and ongoing training. A recent study says 62% of new retail hires receive less than 10 hours of training. I’d call even these worrisome numbers optimistic. I worked at 5 retail jobs in my early youth. I’d estimate that I received no more than 1 hour of training at any of them.
Because a chain of command can’t realistically be completely dispensed with in a large organization, store managers must then be allowed the time to communicate the culture, encourage employees to use common sense, define what “common sense” does and doesn’t look like to the company, and, finally, offer essential training.
Employees at every level must be given the time to observe how happy or unhappy customers appear to be at their location, and they must be taught that their observations are of inestimable value to the brand. If an employee suggests a solution to a common consumer complaint, this should be recognized and rewarded.
Finally, customers must be given the time to air their grievances at the time of service, in-person, with accessible, responsive staff. The word “corporate” need never come into most of these conversations unless a major claim is involved. Given that it may cost as much as 7x more to replace an unhappy customer than to keep an existing one happy, employees should be empowered to do business graciously and resolve complaints, in most cases, without escalation.
Benjamin Franklin may or may not have said that “time is money.” While the adage rings true in business, reviews have taught me the flip side — that a lack of time equals less money. Every negative review that cites helpless employees and poor service sounds to my marketing ears like a pocketful of silver dollars rolling down a drain.
The monk says good leaders make the time to communicate culture one-on-one.
Tesla says rules should change if they’re ridiculous.
Chairs should be offered to sick people… where common sense is applied.
Reviews can read like this:
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And digital marketers have never known a time quite like this to have the ear of retail, maybe stepping beyond traditional boundaries into the fray of the real world. Maybe making a fundamental difference.
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What and how to feed the baby?
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The schoolboy is growing rapidly - there are complex changes in the metabolism, the load on the central nervous system is increasing. On the other hand, eating habits that are established in childhood will accompany the child all his life. So, parents need to do everything possible to teach their children to eat properly.
You need to eat regularly. The best option for a child is four meals a day, in this case, the correct interaction occurs between the food centers of the brain with gastric secretion. And most importantly, this approach will be an excellent prevention of gastritis and peptic ulcer, which are so often found in schoolchildren recently.
Watch for calories. Children 7-11 years old need 2300 kcal per day, 11-14 years old - 2500 kcal. The need for adolescents 14-18 years old increases to 3000 kcal. Children who study in specialized schools with increased loads (math, language, sports) need 10% more calories.
Proteins, fats and carbohydrates. In a child, protein from milk and fish is best absorbed. Low-fat meat is recommended (turkey, rabbit, beef). Healthy fats are found in vegetable and butter, milk cream and sour cream. And do not forget about complex carbohydrates - they are found in grain bread, cereals, dried fruits, honey.
Exclude from the diet of the child: pastries with cream, chips, popcorn, caramel, soda, canned and uncooked smoked meat products, chewing gums, sauces.
Do not teach children to seize stress. According to VTsIOM statistics, more than 16% of adults in Russia admit that they eat more in stressful situations. It is not surprising that we say to the children: “Eat, and everything will pass!” If your child is upset or worried, don’t offer a cake, but help deal with the cause of stress.
Examination diet. When a student is faced with increased stress, nutrition should be monitored especially carefully. Offer him freshly squeezed fruit and vegetable juices, whole fruits. The fructose contained in them stimulates the activity of the brain. Useful is alkaline mineral water, but always natural. And if the student is worried and does not sleep well, make herbal tea .
First breakfast. Offer your child dairy products, cereals (buckwheat, rice, oatmeal), butter, cheese, eggs and fruits.
Lunch. The student’s performance after 3-4 hours of study begins to decline, so he needs to compensate for the energy expended. It is good if at this time the child eats a sandwich (cereal bread with a slice of lean meat or cheese and a leaf of salad), yogurt, fresh fruit. See here forhealthy recipes for your child to take with them to school .
Lunch must consist of soup, a second course of low-fat meat or fish and a side dish. From sweet, you can recommend juice, compote, jelly, fresh fruits. Ideally, if before the first meal the child eats a salad of fresh vegetables or vinaigrette.
Dinner should be hearty, but easily digestible so as not to overload the gastrointestinal tract with excessive work during sleep. Fish, dairy products, omelettes, pasta with vegetables  - these are all good options. Do not eat later than 2 hours before bedtime.
Vitamin Products
Vitamin A is found in fish, seafood, apricots, and liver. It provides the normal condition of the skin and mucous membranes, improves vision and resistance of the body as a whole.
Vitamin B1 is found in rice, vegetables, and poultry. It strengthens the nervous system, memory, improves digestion.
Vitamin B2 is found in milk, eggs, and broccoli. It strengthens hair, nails, improves the condition of nerves.
Vitamin PP  - in whole-wheat bread, fish, nuts, vegetables, meat, dried mushrooms, regulates blood circulation and cholesterol levels.
Vitamin B6  - in whole grains, egg yolk, brewer's yeast, beans. Beneficial effect on the functions of the nervous system, liver, blood formation.
Vitamin B12  - in meat, cheese, seafood. Stimulates growth.
Folic acid  - in savoy cabbage, spinach, green peas, is necessary for the growth and health of the blood.
Biotin  - in yolk, tomatoes, brown rice, soybeans. It affects the condition of the skin, hair, nails and regulates blood sugar.
Vitamin C  - in wild rose, sweet pepper, blackcurrant, sea buckthorn, is useful for the immune system, connective tissue, bones, and promotes wound healing.
Vitamin D is found in the liver of fish, caviar, and eggs. Strengthens bones and teeth.
Vitamin E  - in nuts and vegetable oils. Protects cells from free radicals, affects the function of the genital and endocrine glands.
How to reduce stress at schoolHow to reduce stress?
Neurosis is one of the first places among the most common diseases of schoolchildren. The most important rule for parents is to dose your time for study and rest.
Take time out for a walk. Ideally, the child should be in the air every day for at least 2 hours. If the high school student is very busy, try to take him outside for half an hour before going to bed.
Encourage physical activity. A schoolchild vitally needs movement, because he has to sit while studying and doing homework! It is good when a child visits a sports section 2-3 times a week, and on weekends, along with his parents, rides a bicycle or goes camping. Take the test to find out which sport is right for your child .
Do not forget about water procedures. Cool baths, for example, help relieve tension: hands need to be immersed to the elbow in a basin of water for 30-40 seconds. Resistance to fatigue is also helped by douche and contrast shower. A warm relaxing bath at night relieves fatigue and improves sleep.
How much does a schoolboy need to sleep?
Marina Pakhomova, pediatric neurologist at the NIARMEDIK clinic network
7-9 years ... 10.5-11 hours
10-11 years ... 10 hours
12-15 years ... 9 hours
15-17 years ... from 7 to 8.5 hours
The need for sleep in a child depends not only on age, but also on the characteristics of the nervous system. It is important that the student falls asleep in the interval from 22.00 to 22.30. Late bedtime dramatically worsens sleep quality and reduces school performance. Often sick and weakened children can additionally sleep during the day from 40 to 60 minutes. If the child sleeps the prescribed number of hours, but still does not get enough sleep, wake him in the morning 15 minutes later. A study by Swiss scientists showed that with an increase in the duration of sleep by only a quarter of an hour, students are less tired and less sleepy during classes.
How to protect your eyes and keep your postureHow to protect your eyes?
If 10 years ago, nearsightedness in children appeared by the end of the first grade, now many people still have problems at the age of five. Parents are beginning to prepare their children for school earlier, teach them to read and work with a computer, which is too much for the eyes.
Dose the use of gadgets. Few of the parents can boast that their child complies with the recommended 20 minutes a day. If your children significantly exceed the limit, buy special glasses with filters for working at the computer. How to protect children from computer addiction, see here .
Provide regular exercise. The more the child moves, the better.
Properly equip the workplace, adjust the lighting.
Take breaks between classes to give your eyes a break.
Include foods rich in vitamins and antioxidants in your diet: nuts, blueberries, vegetable oils, fruits.
Visit your ophthalmologist regularly. Check your vision at least 1 time per year.
Keep track of your child’s general health. Sick teeth, adenoids and tonsils, as well as frequent SARS - all this weakens the immune system. The more often the child is sick, the more likely it is that he will have myopia.
Avoid eye strain. Games that require eye strain, the wrong posture when reading or writing, small or poor print - all this can have a deplorable effect on the health of the child.
Do gymnastics for the eyes:
look up, then down;
look right, then left;
look, looking diagonally, left and right;
“Draw” a circle with a look;
tighten your eyes tightly for 3-5 seconds, open for 3-5 seconds.
Each movement is recommended to be repeated 10 times. And after gymnastics, ask the child to close his eyes with his hands and sit for 2-3 minutes. More exercise for the eyes .
How to maintain posture?
Most often, problems with the spine begin in children during periods of rapid growth. The first peak occurs at 6-7 years, the second - at a transitional age. It is believed that the cause of scoliosis can be both weak muscle development, and the habit of sitting in the wrong position (the child likes to fall apart in a chair or tighten his legs), and a hereditary predisposition.
Arrange a home inspection. Ask the child to undress and stand upright - heels together, arms along the body. Carefully examine the spine from the back of the head to the tailbone. The processes of the cervical vertebrae and the coccyx should be on the same vertical line. The blades are on the same level, symmetrical and equally convex. Something is wrong? Do not drag a visit to the orthopedist.
Check your calcium level periodically. You can take a blood test, but it is better to conduct a special study - densitometry. If there is a lack of calcium, the doctor will prescribe medications to strengthen bones and vitamins. Calcium rich foods .
Properly equip the child's workplace. The table and chair should correspond to growth: when the student is sitting on the chair, the angle between the hip and lower leg should be straight. Elbow - 5-6 cm below the table top.
Provide good lighting. The lack of light makes the student lean toward the notebook as low as possible - "write with his nose."
Do not buy sofas. You need to sleep on a hard orthopedic mattress and a flat pillow.
Do not overload the spine - too heavy knapsacks or tiresome sports.
How to protect from diseasesHow to protect a child when everyone around is sick?
With the first cold, children begin to get sick. Among the reasons - sudden temperature changes, high school load, reduced immunity. It seems that it is almost impossible to protect oneself from infections: only the class got sick with one virus, another one certainly appears.
Begin prophylaxis in advance. A dangerous period usually begins in the first half of September. But the tempering procedures and the intake of vitamin complexes should be started back in August, so that the body has time to grow stronger, and beneficial substances are absorbed.
Do not confuse the child. Do you think that a warm sweater and jacket will protect him from the common cold? This is an illusion. Children are sensitive to any discomfort. Most likely, a too warm jacket will immediately be unbuttoned or removed during games in the schoolyard - as a result, it will cause hypothermia. Choose clothes according to the weather and find out if the heating works in the school and at what level the air temperature is maintained. Dress your child in a multilayer fashion so that you can remove excess or warm up.
Try to fight the spread of viruses in school. Do not forget that not only their parents, but also the school administration are responsible for the health status of students. If your child’s class has many colds who continue to go to school, this is an occasion for a serious conversation with the teacher. According to standards, if more than 30% of students are absent from classes due to illness, this is the reason for quarantine. The teacher does not have the right to send home cold students who came to classes without a fever. But the parent committee or council of the school may strongly recommend that parents treat their children well before sending them to school.
Watch for hygiene. Explain to your child how important hand cleanliness is. Few students will run to wash their hands before eating, but this simple rule can reduce the likelihood of infection. Approximately 30% of those with a runny nose become infected due to the virus being introduced into the body by touching their hands to their nose or eyes. Moreover, it is not necessary to even touch a sick person. Viruses on smooth surfaces (for example, on a door handle or handset) remain viable for 3 hours, and on a damp cloth they can last up to two days.
Create a “blockade” for bacteria. To prevent a runny nose, use a simple remedy. Cut the peeled cloves of garlic or onion, put on a plate and leave in the room: volatile substances with antibiotic effect will be released into the air. You can use an aromatic lamp with pine essential oil. Ventilate the rooms more often and do wet cleaning.
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Getting Real with Retail: An Agency’s Guide to Inspiring In-Store Excellence
Getting Real with Retail: An Agency’s Guide to Inspiring In-Store Excellence
Posted by MiriamEllis
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No marketing agency staffer feels good when they see a retail client getting reviews like this on the web.
But we can find out why they’re happening, and if we’re going above-and-beyond in our work, we just might be able to catalyze turning things around if we’re committed to being honest with clients and have an actionable strategy for their in-store improvements.
In this post, I’ll highlight some advice from an internal letter at Tesla that I feel is highly applicable to the retail sector. I’d also like to help your agency combat the retail blues headlining the news these days with big brands downsizing, liquidating and closing up shop — I’m going to share a printable infographic with some statistics with you that are almost guaranteed to generate the client positivity so essential to making real change. And, for some further inspiration, I’d like to offer a couple of anecdotes involving an Igloo cooler, a monk, reindeer moss, and reviews.
The genuine pain of retail gone wrong: The elusive cooler, "Corporate," and the man who could hardly stand
“Hi there,” I greeted the staffer at the customer service counter of the big department store. “Where would I find a small cooler?”
“We don’t have any,” he mumbled.
“You don’t have any coolers? Like, an Igloo cooler to take on a picnic to keep things cold?”
“Maybe over there,” he waved his hand in unconcern.
And I stood there for a minute, expecting him to actually figure this out for me, maybe even guide me to the appropriate aisle, or ask a manager to assist my transaction, if necessary. But in his silence, I walked away.
“Hi there,” I tried with more specificity at the locally owned general store the next day. “Where would I find something like a small Igloo cooler to keep things cold on a picnic?”
“I don’t know,” the staffer replied.
“Oh…” I said, uncomfortably.
“It could be upstairs somewhere,” he hazarded, and left me to quest for the second floor, which appeared to be a possibly-non-code-compliant catch-all attic for random merchandise, where I applied to a second dimly illuminated employee who told me I should probably go downstairs and escalate my question to someone else.
And apparently escalation was necessary, for on the third try, a very tall man was able to lift his gaze to some coolers on a top shelf… within clear view of the checkout counter where the whole thing began.
Why do we all have experiences like this?
“Corporate tells us what to carry” is the almost defensive-sounding refrain I have now received from three employees at two different Whole Foods Markets when asking if they could special order items for me since the Amazon buyout.
Because, you know, before they were Amazon-Whole Foods, staffers would gladly offer to procure anything they didn’t have in stock. Now, if they stop carrying that Scandinavian vitamin D-3 made from the moss eaten by reindeer and I’ve got to have it because I don’t want the kind made by irradiating sheep wool, I’d have to special order an entire case of it to get my hands on a bottle. Because, you know, “Corporate.”
Why does the distance between corporate and customer make me feel like the store I’m standing in, and all of its employees, are powerless? Why am I, the customer, left feeling powerless?
So maybe my search for a cooler, my worries about access to reindeer moss, and the laughable customer service I’ve experienced don’t signal “genuine pain.” But this does:
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This is genuine pain. When customer service is failing to the point that badly treated patrons are being further distressed by the sight of fellow shoppers meeting the same fate, the cause is likely built into company structure. And your marketing agency is looking at a bonafide reputation crisis that could presage things like lawsuits, impactful reputation damage, and even closure for your valuable clients.
When you encounter customer service disasters, it begs questions like:
Could no one in my situation access a list of current store inventory, or, barring that, seek out merchandise with me instead of risking the loss of a sale?
Could no one offer to let “corporate” know that I’m dissatisfied with a “customer service policy” that would require me to spend $225 to buy a whole case of vitamins? Why am I being treated like a warehouse instead of a person?
Could no one at the pharmacy see a man with a leg wound about to fall over, grab a folding chair for him, and keep him safe, instead of risking a lawsuit?
I think a “no” answer to all three questions proceeds from definite causes. And I think Tesla CEO, Elon Musk, had such causes in mind when he recently penned a letter to his own employees.
“It must be okay for people to talk directly and just make the right thing happen.”
“Communication should travel via the shortest path necessary to get the job done, not through the 'chain of command.' Any manager who attempts to enforce chain of command communication will soon find themselves working elsewhere. A major source of issues is poor communication between depts. The way to solve this is allow free flow of information between all levels. If, in order to get something done between depts, an individual contributor has to talk to their manager, who talks to a director, who talks to a VP, who talks to another VP, who talks to a director, who talks to a manager, who talks to someone doing the actual work, then super dumb things will happen. It must be ok for people to talk directly and just make the right thing happen. In general, always pick common sense as your guide. If following a 'company rule' is obviously ridiculous in a particular situation, such that it would make for a great Dilbert cartoon, then the rule should change.” - Elon Musk, CEO, Tesla
Let’s parlay this uncommon advice into retail. If it’s everyone’s job to access a free flow of information, use common sense, make the right thing happen, and change rules that don’t make sense, then:
Inventory is known by all store staff, and my cooler can be promptly located by any employee, rather than workers appearing helpless.
Employees have the power to push back and insist that, because customers still expect to be able to special order merchandise, a specific store location will maintain this service rather than disappoint consumers.
Pharmacists can recognize that patrons are often quite ill and can immediately place some chairs near the pharmacy counter, rather than close their eyes to suffering.
“But wait,” retailers may say. “How can I trust that an employee’s idea of ‘common sense’ is reliable?”
Let’s ask a monk for the answer.
“He took the time...”
I recently had the pleasure of listening to a talk given by a monk who was defining what it meant to be a good leader. He hearkened back to his young days, and to the man who was then the leader of his community.
“He was a busy man, but he took the time to get to know each of us one-on-one, and to be sure that we knew him. He set an example for me, and I watched him,” the monk explained.
Most monasteries function within a set of established rules, many of which are centuries old. You can think of these guidelines as a sort of policy. In certain communities, it’s perfectly acceptable that some of the members live apart as hermits most of the year, only breaking their meditative existence by checking in with the larger group on important holidays to share what they’ve been working on solo. In others, every hour has its appointed task, from prayer, to farming, to feeding people, to engaging in social activism.
The point is that everyone within a given community knows the basic guidelines, because at some point, they’ve been well-communicated. Beyond that, it is up to the individual to see whether they can happily live out their personal expression within the policy.
It’s a lot like retail can be, when done right. And it hinges on the question:
“Has culture been well-enough communicated to every employee so that he or she can act like the CEO of the company would in wide variety of circumstances?”
Or to put it another way, would Amazon owner Jeff Bezos be powerless to get me my vitamins?
The most accessible modern benchmark of good customer service — the online review — is what tells the public whether the CEO has “set the example.” Reviews tell whether time has been taken to acquaint every staffer with the business that employs them, preparing them to fit their own personal expression within the company’s vision of serving the public.
An employee who is able to recognize that an injured patron needs a seat while awaiting his prescription should be empowered to act immediately, knowing that the larger company supports treating people well. If poor training, burdensome chains of command, or failure to share brand culture are obstacles to common-sense personal initiative, the problem must be traced back to the CEO and corrected, starting from there.
And, of course, should a random staffer’s personal expression genuinely include an insurmountable disregard for other people, they can always be told it’s time to leave the monastery...
For marketing agencies, opportunity knocks
So your agency is auditing a valuable incoming client, and their negative reviews citing dirty premises, broken fixtures, food poisoning, slowness, rudeness, cluelessness, and lack of apparent concern make you say to yourself,
“Well, I was hoping we could clean up the bad data on the local business listings for this enterprise, but unless they clean up their customer service at 150 of their worst-rated locations, how much ROI are we really going to be able to deliver? What’s going on at these places?”
Let’s make no bones about this: Your honesty at this critical juncture could mean the difference between survival and closure for the brand.
You need to bring it home to the most senior level person you can reach in the organization that no amount of honest marketing can cover up poor customer service in the era of online reviews. If the brand has fallen to the level of the pharmacy I’ve cited, structural change is an absolute necessity. You can ask the tough questions, ask for an explanation of the bad reviews.
“But I’m just a digital marketer,” you may think. “I’m not in charge of whatever happens offline.”
Think again.
Headlines in retail land are horrid right now:
The mall crisis is secretly morphing into a full-on Armageddon - Business Insider
America’s ‘Retail Apocalypse’ Is Really Just Beginning - Bloomberg
Retail Wreck? Over 1,000 Stores Close in a Single Week - NBC
8 Companies Amazon is Killing - Investopedia
These major retailers have closed more than 5,000 stores in 2017 - Clark.com
If you were a retail brand C-suite and were swallowing these predictions of doom with your daily breakfast, wouldn’t you be looking for inspiration from anyone with genuine insight? And if a marketing agency should make it their business to confront the truth while also being the bearer of some better news, wouldn’t you be ready to listen?
What is the truth? That poor reviews are symptoms smart doctors can use for diagnosis of structural problems. What is the better news? The retail scenario is not nearly as dire as it may seem.
Why let hierarchy and traditional roles hold your agency back? Tesla wouldn’t. Why not roll up your sleeves and step into in-store? Organize and then translate the narrative negative reviews are telling about structural problems for the brand which have resulted in dangerously bad customer service. And then, be prepared to counter corporate inertia born of fear with some eye-opening statistics.
Print and share some good retail tidings
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Print your own copy of this infographic to share with clients.
At Moz, we’re working with enterprises to get their basic location data into shape so that they are ready to win their share of the predicted $1.4 trillion in mobile-influenced local sales by 2021, and your agency can use these same numbers to combat indecision and apathy for your retail clients. Look at that second statistic again: 90% of purchases are still happening in physical stores. At Moz, we ask our customers if their data is ready for this. Your agency can ask its clients if their reputations are ready for this, if their employees have what they need to earn the brand’s piece of that 90% action. Great online data + great in-store service = table stakes for retail success.
While I won’t play down the unease that major brand retail closures is understandably causing, I hope I’ve given you the tools to fight the “retail disaster” narrative. 85% more mobile users are searching for things like “Where do I buy that reindeer moss vitamin D3?” than they were just 3 years ago. So long as retail staff is ready to deliver, I see no “apocalypse” here.
Investing time
So, your agency has put in the time to identify a reputation problem severe enough that it appears to be founded in structural deficiencies or policies. Perhaps you’ve used some ORM software to do review sentiment analysis to discover which of your client’s locations are hurting worst, or perhaps you’ve done an initial audit manually. You've communicated the bad news to the most senior-level person you can reach at the company, and you've also shared the statistics that make change seem very worthwhile, begging for a new commitment to in-store excellence. What happens next?
While there are going to be nuances specific to every brand, my bet is that the steps will look like this for most businesses:
C-suites need to invest time in creating a policy which a) abundantly communicates company culture, b) expresses trust in employee initiative, and c) dispenses with needless “chain of command” steps, while d) ensuring that every public facing staffer receives full and ongoing training. A recent study says 62% of new retail hires receive less than 10 hours of training. I’d call even these worrisome numbers optimistic. I worked at 5 retail jobs in my early youth. I’d estimate that I received no more than 1 hour of training at any of them.
Because a chain of command can’t realistically be completely dispensed with in a large organization, store managers must then be allowed the time to communicate the culture, encourage employees to use common sense, define what “common sense” does and doesn’t look like to the company, and, finally, offer essential training.
Employees at every level must be given the time to observe how happy or unhappy customers appear to be at their location, and they must be taught that their observations are of inestimable value to the brand. If an employee suggests a solution to a common consumer complaint, this should be recognized and rewarded.
Finally, customers must be given the time to air their grievances at the time of service, in-person, with accessible, responsive staff. The word “corporate” need never come into most of these conversations unless a major claim is involved. Given that it may cost as much as 7x more to replace an unhappy customer than to keep an existing one happy, employees should be empowered to do business graciously and resolve complaints, in most cases, without escalation.
Benjamin Franklin may or may not have said that “time is money.” While the adage rings true in business, reviews have taught me the flip side — that a lack of time equals less money. Every negative review that cites helpless employees and poor service sounds to my marketing ears like a pocketful of silver dollars rolling down a drain.
The monk says good leaders make the time to communicate culture one-on-one.
Tesla says rules should change if they’re ridiculous.
Chairs should be offered to sick people… where common sense is applied.
Reviews can read like this:
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And digital marketers have never known a time quite like this to have the ear of retail, maybe stepping beyond traditional boundaries into the fray of the real world. Maybe making a fundamental difference.
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Getting Real with Retail: An Agency’s Guide to Inspiring In-Store Excellence
Posted by MiriamEllis
Tumblr media
No marketing agency staffer feels good when they see a retail client getting reviews like this on the web.
But we can find out why they’re happening, and if we’re going above-and-beyond in our work, we just might be able to catalyze turning things around if we’re committed to being honest with clients and have an actionable strategy for their in-store improvements.
In this post, I’ll highlight some advice from an internal letter at Tesla that I feel is highly applicable to the retail sector. I’d also like to help your agency combat the retail blues headlining the news these days with big brands downsizing, liquidating and closing up shop — I’m going to share a printable infographic with some statistics with you that are almost guaranteed to generate the client positivity so essential to making real change. And, for some further inspiration, I’d like to offer a couple of anecdotes involving an Igloo cooler, a monk, reindeer moss, and reviews.
The genuine pain of retail gone wrong: The elusive cooler, “Corporate,” and the man who could hardly stand
“Hi there,” I greeted the staffer at the customer service counter of the big department store. “Where would I find a small cooler?”
“We don’t have any,” he mumbled.
“You don’t have any coolers? Like, an Igloo cooler to take on a picnic to keep things cold?”
“Maybe over there,” he waved his hand in unconcern.
And I stood there for a minute, expecting him to actually figure this out for me, maybe even guide me to the appropriate aisle, or ask a manager to assist my transaction, if necessary. But in his silence, I walked away.
“Hi there,” I tried with more specificity at the locally owned general store the next day. “Where would I find something like a small Igloo cooler to keep things cold on a picnic?”
“I don’t know,” the staffer replied.
“Oh…” I said, uncomfortably.
“It could be upstairs somewhere,” he hazarded, and left me to quest for the second floor, which appeared to be a possibly-non-code-compliant catch-all attic for random merchandise, where I applied to a second dimly illuminated employee who told me I should probably go downstairs and escalate my question to someone else.
And apparently escalation was necessary, for on the third try, a very tall man was able to lift his gaze to some coolers on a top shelf… within clear view of the checkout counter where the whole thing began.
Why do we all have experiences like this?
“Corporate tells us what to carry” is the almost defensive-sounding refrain I have now received from three employees at two different Whole Foods Markets when asking if they could special order items for me since the Amazon buyout.
Because, you know, before they were Amazon-Whole Foods, staffers would gladly offer to procure anything they didn’t have in stock. Now, if they stop carrying that Scandinavian vitamin D-3 made from the moss eaten by reindeer and I’ve got to have it because I don’t want the kind made by irradiating sheep wool, I’d have to special order an entire case of it to get my hands on a bottle. Because, you know, “Corporate.”
Why does the distance between corporate and customer make me feel like the store I’m standing in, and all of its employees, are powerless? Why am I, the customer, left feeling powerless?
So maybe my search for a cooler, my worries about access to reindeer moss, and the laughable customer service I’ve experienced don’t signal “genuine pain.” But this does:
Tumblr media
This is genuine pain. When customer service is failing to the point that badly treated patrons are being further distressed by the sight of fellow shoppers meeting the same fate, the cause is likely built into company structure. And your marketing agency is looking at a bonafide reputation crisis that could presage things like lawsuits, impactful reputation damage, and even closure for your valuable clients.
When you encounter customer service disasters, it begs questions like:
Could no one in my situation access a list of current store inventory, or, barring that, seek out merchandise with me instead of risking the loss of a sale?
Could no one offer to let “corporate” know that I’m dissatisfied with a “customer service policy” that would require me to spend $225 to buy a whole case of vitamins? Why am I being treated like a warehouse instead of a person?
Could no one at the pharmacy see a man with a leg wound about to fall over, grab a folding chair for him, and keep him safe, instead of risking a lawsuit?
I think a “no” answer to all three questions proceeds from definite causes. And I think Tesla CEO, Elon Musk, had such causes in mind when he recently penned a letter to his own employees.
“It must be okay for people to talk directly and just make the right thing happen.”
“Communication should travel via the shortest path necessary to get the job done, not through the ‘chain of command.’ Any manager who attempts to enforce chain of command communication will soon find themselves working elsewhere.
A major source of issues is poor communication between depts. The way to solve this is allow free flow of information between all levels. If, in order to get something done between depts, an individual contributor has to talk to their manager, who talks to a director, who talks to a VP, who talks to another VP, who talks to a director, who talks to a manager, who talks to someone doing the actual work, then super dumb things will happen. It must be ok for people to talk directly and just make the right thing happen.
In general, always pick common sense as your guide. If following a ‘company rule’ is obviously ridiculous in a particular situation, such that it would make for a great Dilbert cartoon, then the rule should change.” – Elon Musk, CEO, Tesla
Let’s parlay this uncommon advice into retail. If it’s everyone’s job to access a free flow of information, use common sense, make the right thing happen, and change rules that don’t make sense, then:
Inventory is known by all store staff, and my cooler can be promptly located by any employee, rather than workers appearing helpless.
Employees have the power to push back and insist that, because customers still expect to be able to special order merchandise, a specific store location will maintain this service rather than disappoint consumers.
Pharmacists can recognize that patrons are often quite ill and can immediately place some chairs near the pharmacy counter, rather than close their eyes to suffering.
“But wait,” retailers may say. “How can I trust that an employee’s idea of ‘common sense’ is reliable?”
Let’s ask a monk for the answer.
“He took the time…”
I recently had the pleasure of listening to a talk given by a monk who was defining what it meant to be a good leader. He hearkened back to his young days, and to the man who was then the leader of his community.
“He was a busy man, but he took the time to get to know each of us one-on-one, and to be sure that we knew him. He set an example for me, and I watched him,” the monk explained.
Most monasteries function within a set of established rules, many of which are centuries old. You can think of these guidelines as a sort of policy. In certain communities, it’s perfectly acceptable that some of the members live apart as hermits most of the year, only breaking their meditative existence by checking in with the larger group on important holidays to share what they’ve been working on solo. In others, every hour has its appointed task, from prayer, to farming, to feeding people, to engaging in social activism.
The point is that everyone within a given community knows the basic guidelines, because at some point, they’ve been well-communicated. Beyond that, it is up to the individual to see whether they can happily live out their personal expression within the policy.
It’s a lot like retail can be, when done right. And it hinges on the question:
“Has culture been well-enough communicated to every employee so that he or she can act like the CEO of the company would in wide variety of circumstances?”
Or to put it another way, would Amazon owner Jeff Bezos be powerless to get me my vitamins?
The most accessible modern benchmark of good customer service — the online review — is what tells the public whether the CEO has “set the example.” Reviews tell whether time has been taken to acquaint every staffer with the business that employs them, preparing them to fit their own personal expression within the company’s vision of serving the public.
An employee who is able to recognize that an injured patron needs a seat while awaiting his prescription should be empowered to act immediately, knowing that the larger company supports treating people well. If poor training, burdensome chains of command, or failure to share brand culture are obstacles to common-sense personal initiative, the problem must be traced back to the CEO and corrected, starting from there.
And, of course, should a random staffer’s personal expression genuinely include an insurmountable disregard for other people, they can always be told it’s time to leave the monastery…
For marketing agencies, opportunity knocks
So your agency is auditing a valuable incoming client, and their negative reviews citing dirty premises, broken fixtures, food poisoning, slowness, rudeness, cluelessness, and lack of apparent concern make you say to yourself,
“Well, I was hoping we could clean up the bad data on the local business listings for this enterprise, but unless they clean up their customer service at 150 of their worst-rated locations, how much ROI are we really going to be able to deliver? What’s going on at these places?”
Let’s make no bones about this: Your honesty at this critical juncture could mean the difference between survival and closure for the brand.
You need to bring it home to the most senior level person you can reach in the organization that no amount of honest marketing can cover up poor customer service in the era of online reviews. If the brand has fallen to the level of the pharmacy I’ve cited, structural change is an absolute necessity. You can ask the tough questions, ask for an explanation of the bad reviews.
“But I’m just a digital marketer,” you may think. “I’m not in charge of whatever happens offline.”
Think again.
Headlines in retail land are horrid right now:
The mall crisis is secretly morphing into a full-on Armageddon – Business Insider
America’s ‘Retail Apocalypse’ Is Really Just Beginning – Bloomberg
Retail Wreck? Over 1,000 Stores Close in a Single Week – NBC
8 Companies Amazon is Killing – Investopedia
These major retailers have closed more than 5,000 stores in 2017 – Clark.com
If you were a retail brand C-suite and were swallowing these predictions of doom with your daily breakfast, wouldn’t you be looking for inspiration from anyone with genuine insight? And if a marketing agency should make it their business to confront the truth while also being the bearer of some better news, wouldn’t you be ready to listen?
What is the truth? That poor reviews are symptoms smart doctors can use for diagnosis of structural problems. What is the better news? The retail scenario is not nearly as dire as it may seem.
Why let hierarchy and traditional roles hold your agency back? Tesla wouldn’t. Why not roll up your sleeves and step into in-store? Organize and then translate the narrative negative reviews are telling about structural problems for the brand which have resulted in dangerously bad customer service. And then, be prepared to counter corporate inertia born of fear with some eye-opening statistics.
Print and share some good retail tidings
Tumblr media
Print your own copy of this infographic to share with clients.
At Moz, we’re working with enterprises to get their basic location data into shape so that they are ready to win their share of the predicted $1.4 trillion in mobile-influenced local sales by 2021, and your agency can use these same numbers to combat indecision and apathy for your retail clients. Look at that second statistic again: 90% of purchases are still happening in physical stores. At Moz, we ask our customers if their data is ready for this. Your agency can ask its clients if their reputations are ready for this, if their employees have what they need to earn the brand’s piece of that 90% action. Great online data + great in-store service = table stakes for retail success.
While I won’t play down the unease that major brand retail closures is understandably causing, I hope I’ve given you the tools to fight the “retail disaster” narrative. 85% more mobile users are searching for things like “Where do I buy that reindeer moss vitamin D3?” than they were just 3 years ago. So long as retail staff is ready to deliver, I see no “apocalypse” here.
Investing time
So, your agency has put in the time to identify a reputation problem severe enough that it appears to be founded in structural deficiencies or policies. Perhaps you’ve used some ORM software to do review sentiment analysis to discover which of your client’s locations are hurting worst, or perhaps you’ve done an initial audit manually. You’ve communicated the bad news to the most senior-level person you can reach at the company, and you’ve also shared the statistics that make change seem very worthwhile, begging for a new commitment to in-store excellence. What happens next?
While there are going to be nuances specific to every brand, my bet is that the steps will look like this for most businesses:
C-suites need to invest time in creating a policy which a) abundantly communicates company culture, b) expresses trust in employee initiative, and c) dispenses with needless “chain of command” steps, while d) ensuring that every public facing staffer receives full and ongoing training. A recent study says 62% of new retail hires receive less than 10 hours of training. I’d call even these worrisome numbers optimistic. I worked at 5 retail jobs in my early youth. I’d estimate that I received no more than 1 hour of training at any of them.
Because a chain of command can’t realistically be completely dispensed with in a large organization, store managers must then be allowed the time to communicate the culture, encourage employees to use common sense, define what “common sense” does and doesn’t look like to the company, and, finally, offer essential training.
Employees at every level must be given the time to observe how happy or unhappy customers appear to be at their location, and they must be taught that their observations are of inestimable value to the brand. If an employee suggests a solution to a common consumer complaint, this should be recognized and rewarded.
Finally, customers must be given the time to air their grievances at the time of service, in-person, with accessible, responsive staff. The word “corporate” need never come into most of these conversations unless a major claim is involved. Given that it may cost as much as 7x more to replace an unhappy customer than to keep an existing one happy, employees should be empowered to do business graciously and resolve complaints, in most cases, without escalation.
Benjamin Franklin may or may not have said that “time is money.” While the adage rings true in business, reviews have taught me the flip side — that a lack of time equals less money. Every negative review that cites helpless employees and poor service sounds to my marketing ears like a pocketful of silver dollars rolling down a drain.
The monk says good leaders make the time to communicate culture one-on-one.
Tesla says rules should change if they’re ridiculous.
Chairs should be offered to sick people… where common sense is applied.
Reviews can read like this:
Tumblr media
And digital marketers have never known a time quite like this to have the ear of retail, maybe stepping beyond traditional boundaries into the fray of the real world. Maybe making a fundamental difference.
Sign up for The Moz Top 10, a semimonthly mailer updating you on the top ten hottest pieces of SEO news, tips, and rad links uncovered by the Moz team. Think of it as your exclusive digest of stuff you don’t have time to hunt down but want to read!
from https://dentistry01.wordpress.com/2018/05/30/getting-real-with-retail-an-agencys-guide-to-inspiring-in-store-excellence/
0 notes
Text
Getting Real with Retail: An Agency’s Guide to Inspiring In-Store Excellence
Getting Real with Retail: An Agency’s Guide to Inspiring In-Store Excellence
Posted by MiriamEllis
Tumblr media
No marketing agency staffer feels good when they see a retail client getting reviews like this on the web.
But we can find out why they’re happening, and if we’re going above-and-beyond in our work, we just might be able to catalyze turning things around if we’re committed to being honest with clients and have an actionable strategy for their in-store improvements.
In this post, I’ll highlight some advice from an internal letter at Tesla that I feel is highly applicable to the retail sector. I’d also like to help your agency combat the retail blues headlining the news these days with big brands downsizing, liquidating and closing up shop — I’m going to share a printable infographic with some statistics with you that are almost guaranteed to generate the client positivity so essential to making real change. And, for some further inspiration, I’d like to offer a couple of anecdotes involving an Igloo cooler, a monk, reindeer moss, and reviews.
The genuine pain of retail gone wrong: The elusive cooler, "Corporate," and the man who could hardly stand
“Hi there,” I greeted the staffer at the customer service counter of the big department store. “Where would I find a small cooler?”
“We don’t have any,” he mumbled.
“You don’t have any coolers? Like, an Igloo cooler to take on a picnic to keep things cold?”
“Maybe over there,” he waved his hand in unconcern.
And I stood there for a minute, expecting him to actually figure this out for me, maybe even guide me to the appropriate aisle, or ask a manager to assist my transaction, if necessary. But in his silence, I walked away.
“Hi there,” I tried with more specificity at the locally owned general store the next day. “Where would I find something like a small Igloo cooler to keep things cold on a picnic?”
“I don’t know,” the staffer replied.
“Oh…” I said, uncomfortably.
“It could be upstairs somewhere,” he hazarded, and left me to quest for the second floor, which appeared to be a possibly-non-code-compliant catch-all attic for random merchandise, where I applied to a second dimly illuminated employee who told me I should probably go downstairs and escalate my question to someone else.
And apparently escalation was necessary, for on the third try, a very tall man was able to lift his gaze to some coolers on a top shelf… within clear view of the checkout counter where the whole thing began.
Why do we all have experiences like this?
“Corporate tells us what to carry” is the almost defensive-sounding refrain I have now received from three employees at two different Whole Foods Markets when asking if they could special order items for me since the Amazon buyout.
Because, you know, before they were Amazon-Whole Foods, staffers would gladly offer to procure anything they didn’t have in stock. Now, if they stop carrying that Scandinavian vitamin D-3 made from the moss eaten by reindeer and I’ve got to have it because I don’t want the kind made by irradiating sheep wool, I’d have to special order an entire case of it to get my hands on a bottle. Because, you know, “Corporate.”
Why does the distance between corporate and customer make me feel like the store I’m standing in, and all of its employees, are powerless? Why am I, the customer, left feeling powerless?
So maybe my search for a cooler, my worries about access to reindeer moss, and the laughable customer service I’ve experienced don’t signal “genuine pain.” But this does:
Tumblr media
This is genuine pain. When customer service is failing to the point that badly treated patrons are being further distressed by the sight of fellow shoppers meeting the same fate, the cause is likely built into company structure. And your marketing agency is looking at a bonafide reputation crisis that could presage things like lawsuits, impactful reputation damage, and even closure for your valuable clients.
When you encounter customer service disasters, it begs questions like:
Could no one in my situation access a list of current store inventory, or, barring that, seek out merchandise with me instead of risking the loss of a sale?
Could no one offer to let “corporate” know that I’m dissatisfied with a “customer service policy” that would require me to spend $225 to buy a whole case of vitamins? Why am I being treated like a warehouse instead of a person?
Could no one at the pharmacy see a man with a leg wound about to fall over, grab a folding chair for him, and keep him safe, instead of risking a lawsuit?
I think a “no” answer to all three questions proceeds from definite causes. And I think Tesla CEO, Elon Musk, had such causes in mind when he recently penned a letter to his own employees.
“It must be okay for people to talk directly and just make the right thing happen.”
“Communication should travel via the shortest path necessary to get the job done, not through the 'chain of command.' Any manager who attempts to enforce chain of command communication will soon find themselves working elsewhere. A major source of issues is poor communication between depts. The way to solve this is allow free flow of information between all levels. If, in order to get something done between depts, an individual contributor has to talk to their manager, who talks to a director, who talks to a VP, who talks to another VP, who talks to a director, who talks to a manager, who talks to someone doing the actual work, then super dumb things will happen. It must be ok for people to talk directly and just make the right thing happen. In general, always pick common sense as your guide. If following a 'company rule' is obviously ridiculous in a particular situation, such that it would make for a great Dilbert cartoon, then the rule should change.” - Elon Musk, CEO, Tesla
Let’s parlay this uncommon advice into retail. If it’s everyone’s job to access a free flow of information, use common sense, make the right thing happen, and change rules that don’t make sense, then:
Inventory is known by all store staff, and my cooler can be promptly located by any employee, rather than workers appearing helpless.
Employees have the power to push back and insist that, because customers still expect to be able to special order merchandise, a specific store location will maintain this service rather than disappoint consumers.
Pharmacists can recognize that patrons are often quite ill and can immediately place some chairs near the pharmacy counter, rather than close their eyes to suffering.
“But wait,” retailers may say. “How can I trust that an employee’s idea of ‘common sense’ is reliable?”
Let’s ask a monk for the answer.
“He took the time...”
I recently had the pleasure of listening to a talk given by a monk who was defining what it meant to be a good leader. He hearkened back to his young days, and to the man who was then the leader of his community.
“He was a busy man, but he took the time to get to know each of us one-on-one, and to be sure that we knew him. He set an example for me, and I watched him,” the monk explained.
Most monasteries function within a set of established rules, many of which are centuries old. You can think of these guidelines as a sort of policy. In certain communities, it’s perfectly acceptable that some of the members live apart as hermits most of the year, only breaking their meditative existence by checking in with the larger group on important holidays to share what they’ve been working on solo. In others, every hour has its appointed task, from prayer, to farming, to feeding people, to engaging in social activism.
The point is that everyone within a given community knows the basic guidelines, because at some point, they’ve been well-communicated. Beyond that, it is up to the individual to see whether they can happily live out their personal expression within the policy.
It’s a lot like retail can be, when done right. And it hinges on the question:
“Has culture been well-enough communicated to every employee so that he or she can act like the CEO of the company would in wide variety of circumstances?”
Or to put it another way, would Amazon owner Jeff Bezos be powerless to get me my vitamins?
The most accessible modern benchmark of good customer service — the online review — is what tells the public whether the CEO has “set the example.” Reviews tell whether time has been taken to acquaint every staffer with the business that employs them, preparing them to fit their own personal expression within the company’s vision of serving the public.
An employee who is able to recognize that an injured patron needs a seat while awaiting his prescription should be empowered to act immediately, knowing that the larger company supports treating people well. If poor training, burdensome chains of command, or failure to share brand culture are obstacles to common-sense personal initiative, the problem must be traced back to the CEO and corrected, starting from there.
And, of course, should a random staffer’s personal expression genuinely include an insurmountable disregard for other people, they can always be told it’s time to leave the monastery...
For marketing agencies, opportunity knocks
So your agency is auditing a valuable incoming client, and their negative reviews citing dirty premises, broken fixtures, food poisoning, slowness, rudeness, cluelessness, and lack of apparent concern make you say to yourself,
“Well, I was hoping we could clean up the bad data on the local business listings for this enterprise, but unless they clean up their customer service at 150 of their worst-rated locations, how much ROI are we really going to be able to deliver? What’s going on at these places?”
Let’s make no bones about this: Your honesty at this critical juncture could mean the difference between survival and closure for the brand.
You need to bring it home to the most senior level person you can reach in the organization that no amount of honest marketing can cover up poor customer service in the era of online reviews. If the brand has fallen to the level of the pharmacy I’ve cited, structural change is an absolute necessity. You can ask the tough questions, ask for an explanation of the bad reviews.
“But I’m just a digital marketer,” you may think. “I’m not in charge of whatever happens offline.”
Think again.
Headlines in retail land are horrid right now:
The mall crisis is secretly morphing into a full-on Armageddon - Business Insider
America’s ‘Retail Apocalypse’ Is Really Just Beginning - Bloomberg
Retail Wreck? Over 1,000 Stores Close in a Single Week - NBC
8 Companies Amazon is Killing - Investopedia
These major retailers have closed more than 5,000 stores in 2017 - Clark.com
If you were a retail brand C-suite and were swallowing these predictions of doom with your daily breakfast, wouldn’t you be looking for inspiration from anyone with genuine insight? And if a marketing agency should make it their business to confront the truth while also being the bearer of some better news, wouldn’t you be ready to listen?
What is the truth? That poor reviews are symptoms smart doctors can use for diagnosis of structural problems. What is the better news? The retail scenario is not nearly as dire as it may seem.
Why let hierarchy and traditional roles hold your agency back? Tesla wouldn’t. Why not roll up your sleeves and step into in-store? Organize and then translate the narrative negative reviews are telling about structural problems for the brand which have resulted in dangerously bad customer service. And then, be prepared to counter corporate inertia born of fear with some eye-opening statistics.
Print and share some good retail tidings
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Print your own copy of this infographic to share with clients.
At Moz, we’re working with enterprises to get their basic location data into shape so that they are ready to win their share of the predicted $1.4 trillion in mobile-influenced local sales by 2021, and your agency can use these same numbers to combat indecision and apathy for your retail clients. Look at that second statistic again: 90% of purchases are still happening in physical stores. At Moz, we ask our customers if their data is ready for this. Your agency can ask its clients if their reputations are ready for this, if their employees have what they need to earn the brand’s piece of that 90% action. Great online data + great in-store service = table stakes for retail success.
While I won’t play down the unease that major brand retail closures is understandably causing, I hope I’ve given you the tools to fight the “retail disaster” narrative. 85% more mobile users are searching for things like “Where do I buy that reindeer moss vitamin D3?” than they were just 3 years ago. So long as retail staff is ready to deliver, I see no “apocalypse” here.
Investing time
So, your agency has put in the time to identify a reputation problem severe enough that it appears to be founded in structural deficiencies or policies. Perhaps you’ve used some ORM software to do review sentiment analysis to discover which of your client’s locations are hurting worst, or perhaps you’ve done an initial audit manually. You've communicated the bad news to the most senior-level person you can reach at the company, and you've also shared the statistics that make change seem very worthwhile, begging for a new commitment to in-store excellence. What happens next?
While there are going to be nuances specific to every brand, my bet is that the steps will look like this for most businesses:
C-suites need to invest time in creating a policy which a) abundantly communicates company culture, b) expresses trust in employee initiative, and c) dispenses with needless “chain of command” steps, while d) ensuring that every public facing staffer receives full and ongoing training. A recent study says 62% of new retail hires receive less than 10 hours of training. I’d call even these worrisome numbers optimistic. I worked at 5 retail jobs in my early youth. I’d estimate that I received no more than 1 hour of training at any of them.
Because a chain of command can’t realistically be completely dispensed with in a large organization, store managers must then be allowed the time to communicate the culture, encourage employees to use common sense, define what “common sense” does and doesn’t look like to the company, and, finally, offer essential training.
Employees at every level must be given the time to observe how happy or unhappy customers appear to be at their location, and they must be taught that their observations are of inestimable value to the brand. If an employee suggests a solution to a common consumer complaint, this should be recognized and rewarded.
Finally, customers must be given the time to air their grievances at the time of service, in-person, with accessible, responsive staff. The word “corporate” need never come into most of these conversations unless a major claim is involved. Given that it may cost as much as 7x more to replace an unhappy customer than to keep an existing one happy, employees should be empowered to do business graciously and resolve complaints, in most cases, without escalation.
Benjamin Franklin may or may not have said that “time is money.” While the adage rings true in business, reviews have taught me the flip side — that a lack of time equals less money. Every negative review that cites helpless employees and poor service sounds to my marketing ears like a pocketful of silver dollars rolling down a drain.
The monk says good leaders make the time to communicate culture one-on-one.
Tesla says rules should change if they’re ridiculous.
Chairs should be offered to sick people… where common sense is applied.
Reviews can read like this:
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And digital marketers have never known a time quite like this to have the ear of retail, maybe stepping beyond traditional boundaries into the fray of the real world. Maybe making a fundamental difference.
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