#forgot to post here :’) but man. lost so many of them already… happy day 4 tho

[ksdesign]

Squid Craft Games 2

#squid craft 2 #squid craft games #dream fanart #sapnap fanart #georgenotfound fanart #quackity fanart #tinakitten fanart #karl jacobs fanart #hannahxxrose fanart #foolish gamers fanart #sylvee fanart #forgot to post here :’) but man. lost so many of them already… happy day 4 tho #also before anyone asks #i forgot to draw tubbo :( remember he was apart of it until i started coloring and it was too late 😭😭😭

[foxghost]

Joyful Reunion, Chapter 95

Translator: foxghost @foxghost tumblr/ko-fi1 Beta: meet-me-in-oblivion @meet-me-in-oblivion tumblr Original by 非天夜翔 Fei Tian Ye Xiang Masterpost | Characters, Maps & Other Reference Index

Book 3, Chapter 21 (Part 5)

If Duan Ling is to think about it, Mu Qing is the one person to whom he’s done the most disservice. With every friend he’s ever made before, both he and the other party had given a part of himself, treated their friendship with sincerity, while Mu Qing is the only one he’s constantly guarded against. If they’d met when they were ten years old, they’d definitely have become the best of friends.

“Master Chang Pin said that Wu Du wants to keep you by his side, and that’s why he said your fortune made you unsuitable for marriage. He doesn’t want you to be taken away by someone else. You’re fully aware that there’s no such thing, don’t you?”

Chang Pin’s eyes are too sharp by far, Duan Ling thinks; when Wu Du said those words that night, Duan Ling truly did not expect them, and therefore Chang Pin had caught his momentary surprise. After that, Duan Ling had carefully dissected it in his head and realised that it’s something he had to declare — otherwise, if the Mus decide they want to form a marriage alliance with him, it would certainly complicate things. Who could guarantee that Mu Kuangda doesn’t have an illegitimate daughter hidden away somewhere out there?

This is only what Mu Qing is voicing aloud, so there must be more information that hasn’t been passed on. Chang Pin wouldn’t have brought up the matter of Duan Ling’s marriageability without cause, so he must have had something to talk about with Mu Kuangda that involved asking Mu Qing questions that he managed to hear him say that.

“Even if that’s true.” Duan Ling gives him a faint smile. “What’s wrong with being with Wu Du?”

That really is what Duan Ling truly believes; no matter what his future path may lead, he’s only going to walk it at Wu Du’s side. He wouldn’t keep to himself, the way his dad did. When he thinks of his father, Duan Ling would go so far as to say that he was already inconceivably strong.

At times, he could relate to Cai Yan. Though they haven’t met face to face after he returned to Jiangzhou, he knows Cai Yan’s fear and trepidation is even more severe than his own, and the only person he could hold on to, the only straw he’s holding onto at the edge of a precipice, is Lang Junxia.

But Mu Qing is feeling quite indignant on Duan Ling’s behalf, believing that Wu Du has tied Duan Ling to himself with a debt of gratitude. But since Duan Ling has put it that way, Mu Qing will stop talking badly about him behind his back. He can but nod and say, “Well, as long as you’re happy.”

Duan Ling smiles, but what surfaces in his mind is another scene altogether — when Mu Qing overheard the conversation between Chang Pin and his father, and filled with indignation, said he’s going to remind Duan Ling, Mu Kuangda must have told him not to say anything as it’d be of no use. Mu Qing didn’t believe him, said it anyway, and this is the predictable result.

I’m a tactful man — Mu Kuangda is always saying that. Duan Ling understands him very well, but alas his son is always quite blunt. Sometimes Duan Ling feels as though he’s far more like Mu Kuangda’s son than Mu Qing, and Mu Qing’s mindset is more like his own father Li Jianhong. Perhaps if they swap their dads around, everything would seem to be a more normal fit.

“What are you smiling at?”

“You’ve grown,” Duan Ling says.

“You make yourself sound so old or something.”

“When I was in Tongguan, I missed you very much.”

Mu Qing says smilingly, “Dad was so busy with the capital relocation that I was about bored to death. I was waiting for you to come back every single day.”

Duan Ling almost didn’t think of Mu Qing at all, he’s only telling him this now in an attempt to make him happy. Wu Du is someone who’d treat him well without knowing who he is, and so is Mu Qing. There’s a world of difference between these two people, however.

Outside, soft powdery snow is falling, and they huddle around a fire pan, not wanting to study at all. Duan Ling thinks he may as well give up, and tosses his books aside. He says to Mu Qing, “Let me take you out somewhere. Where do you want to go?”

Mu Qing would never imagine that the studious Duan Ling would be the one to ask to take him out somewhere. His eyes brighten at once. “Let’s go! I’ll take you somewhere!”

One must stop to smell the flowers every once in a while, and it just so happens that the estate is empty at the moment. Duan Ling quickly puts away their things and goes back to his courtyard house to change his clothes. When he comes out behind Mu Qing, the carriage is stopped right in front of the alley. Duan Ling asks, “Where’re we going?”

“You’ll find out once we get there,” Mu Qing replies and digs around in his waist purse until he finds a plaque. He holds on to the plaque and takes Duan Ling’s hand, giving his own hand warming stove to Duan Ling.

“Who’s there?”

The carriage travels for a while before they’re stopped at a guarded checkpoint. Duan Ling is about to answer, but Mu Qing gestures for quiet and reaches through the curtain to show the guards his plaque. “Me. I’m from the Mu family.”

“Young master of the Mu family.” The guard outside says, “Is it just you?”

“I’m here to see my dad,” Mu Qing says.

The guard hands his plaque back to him and lets the carriage pass. Are we going to the Secretariat? Where Mu Kuangda works? He’s always wanted to see the Office of the Grand Secretariat, and yet Mu Qing still won’t let him talk. It’s not until they pass through several checkpoints, after their carriage has taken many twists and turns, and has come to a stop before Mu Qing tells him, “Alright then, let’s go!”

A light snow is falling, and it is just past noon; everything is a bit damp. When Duan Ling puts his foot on the ground, he realises that he’s in a courtyard, and the walls are as tall as two people stacked on top of each other. It seems to be a rear courtyard.

“What is this place?” Duan Ling asks curiously.

Mu Qing doesn’t say anything. He takes Duan Ling’s hand and starts walking towards the other gate in the courtyard. Duan Ling is asking himself if this is what the Secretariat Office looks like, but that seems less likely with every step. It’s only after they get through a covered gallery and a flower garden that he suddenly realises they’re in the palace!

“The palace?” Duan Ling says, flabbergasted.

“Heheh.” Mu Qing has clearly taken Duan Ling here to stretch his horizons, so of course Duan Ling’s astonishment has made him quite pleased with himself. But he has no idea that to Duan Ling, this novel place he’s never been in, is his actual home.

Duan Ling’s head snaps through a dozen calculations, thinking he’d better not run into Cai Yan right now, but even if he does run into Cai Yan, so what? There’s no way he’d dare commit murder in the palace, would he? The idea makes him both nervous and excited.

Mu Qing looks like he’s lost. “Damn, I forgot we aren’t in Xichuan. How come the Jianzhou palace is so huge? I don’t even know where the path is.”

Duan Ling says, “Don’t panic. We’ll ask someone.”

They spy several guards standing in the winding corridor, and a warrior who seems like a captain of sorts, who’s giving the others instructions, so Duan Ling walks up to them to ask for directions. Yet as soon as the warrior turns around, Mu Qing goes pale with fear and hurriedly waves at Duan Ling while whispering, “Don’t go!”

Alas, though he wonders at Mu Qing’s reaction, Duan Ling is already within the warrior’s line of sight. The man has finished giving his instructions and has noticed Duan Ling.

He’s eight feet tall2 with straight black eyebrows and bright eyes, clad head to toe in black armour, carrying a plain black iron dragon flail.3

Wrapped up in a fur cape, Duan Ling has just come out of his classroom in the chancellor’s estate without having spent any time on his appearance. His hair is casually draping over his shoulders, running down his back, and he has the coral bracelet Mu Qing gave him wrapped around his wrist. As soon as the man sees him, he stops in his tracks, staring at Duan Ling incredulously as though he’s fallen into a dream.

Duan Ling isn’t sure what to make of that, and for a moment remains silent.

The warrior seems lost in thought. Duan Ling raises a hand and waves it in front of his face rather apprehensively.

“You’re …” The warrior says with a frown.

Blowing snow sweeps by them, Duan Ling smiles, straightening his back before he puts one fist in his palm to bow square and properly at the warrior.

In an instant, time turns backwards around them; the snow that covers the earth and sky is drawn away in a flash towards the horizon.

Time flows against the current. The yellow leaves beneath the trees in the palace gardens fly back onto their branches; flowers wither and bloom again, leaves turn yellow then green. Time fluctuates around him and countless images flash by in a blink as though he’s returned to the border, south of the Yellow River.

I live by the north sea and you the south; not even the great goose can carry my letters.

Peach and plum trees in spring breeze, a single cup of wine, sojourns, night rain, ten years beneath a solitary lantern.4

“My name is Wang Shan, Could you tell me in which palace hall the empress resides, please?”

Xie You finally awakens from his memories, and by now Mu Qing has jogged his way over to Duan Ling. He stands behind Duan Ling, and gives Xie You a shy smile. “General Xie, I’m here to … see my aunt.”

“Greetings, General Xie,” Duan Ling hastily adds.

Xie You comes back to the present in a heartbeat, but it’s to fall into an even more prolonged bout of distraction, until a single snowflake lands on Duan Ling’s eyebrow. Duan Ling seems a little lost, and a shallow furrow appears between his brows.

And then Xie You slowly raises a hand to point at the end of the corridor.

Mu Qing and Duan Ling salute immediately to thank him.

Mu Qing says, “Thank you, General Xie.”

“Thank you, General Xie,” Duan Ling repeats.

Mu Qing takes Duan Ling’s hand and runs off as quickly as he can. Still standing in the covered gallery, Xie You is surprised to find he’s momentarily dazzled, overcome with a feeling of vertigo, and his heart feels like it’s been given a dull thump with a hammer.

“That was Xie You,” Mu Qing says to Duan Ling. “Commander of a major army division. The best fighter of Jiangzhou, Defender General of Great Chen.”

Duan Ling is astonished beyond words. Did he recognise me? He probably shouldn’t have been able to recognise me. Even Wu Du and Mu Kuangda didn’t manage to recognise him, so let alone Xie You? He resembles his mother and doesn’t share his father’s features, but that’s somehow become a layer of protection for him.

“He gives off such a killing aura,” Duan Ling says. “The way he was looking at me earlier feels like he was going to kill me.”

“He’s like that with everyone.” Clearly, Mu Qing still remembers the impression he had of Xie You from a year ago. During that summer storm, Mu Kuangda had taken him to Li Jianhong in an attempt to give his son to him as a disciple. Xie You’s might has truly left a deep impression on him.

They make their way to the Palace of Eternal Autumn, only to find that Empress Mu Jinzhi isn’t there. A palace maid staying behind knows Mu Qing though, and smiles at him. “Aiya, what are you doing coming all the way here on your own?”

“Where’s my aunt?”

“She’s in the garden with His Majesty right now.”

Mu Qing asks the maid to find the clothes he keeps in the Autumn Palace, then he and Duan Ling change into them. Duan Ling recalls how Mu Qing’s aunt is Mu Jinzhi — the current empress. That is to say, if he goes over there just like this he’s going to run into Li Yanqiu. As this thought occurs to him, his heart starts beating out of his chest. He’s not even sure how things will turn out if Cai Yan and Lang Junxia also happen to be there.

Wu Du has also come to the palace. Is he here?

“I’d better …” Duan Ling hesitates, “not show my face. I’ll just watch from a distance. You brought me here secretly, and that’s not proper after all.”

“That’s fine. The empress is my aunt, and His Majesty is my uncle. What’s there to be scared of?”

“No no. I’m a bit scared.”

Duan Ling is far more than just a bit scared — to rashly rush his way to Li Yanqiu will create a situation out of his control. As he’s insisting over and over, Mu Qing says, “Well alright, we’ll just watch from a distance, that way I wouldn’t get interrogated either.”

By the time they get to the Imperial Gardens, the snow has stopped. The carved balustrades and flying eaves of the palace are outlined in an even gauze of bright white. When Duan Ling sees what’s happening in the garden, his heart does a little flip. Inside the pavilion are several tables, one person sitting behind a table facing the garden, while the crowd has left a clearing in the garden itself, with quite a few people standing at its edge.

“The one in the middle is His Majesty,” Mu Qing explains, holding Duan Ling by the sleeve, keeping them behind a pillar.

The woman next to Li Yanqiu is of course Mu Jinzhi, and to the left of the seat of the emperor is a young man with an underling behind him, while farther down the line are Mu Kuangda and two more officials.

An envoy dressed in Mongolian clothing is seated in the guest seat to the right.

“The Mongolians are here?” Duan Ling thinks of the coral beads he’s wearing — ah, that fits now.

“Today is the sixth of the twelfth month — the crown prince’s birthday.” The palace maid in charge explains to them, “The Mongolians have sent an envoy with gifts to congratulate him.”

Duan Ling nods, and sees four people standing in the clearing outside the pavilion that are not speaking to one another. They are precisely Chang Liujun, Lang Junxia, Zheng Yan, and Wu Du. Duan Ling spots Wu Du with a single glance, and Wu Du is looking extremely impatient as he stares at the scene with crossed arms.

Two Mongolians are performing a wrestling match for the crown prince. Duan Ling cannot help but remember the wrestling moves Batu taught him when they were at the Illustrious Hall. From what he’s seeing, this isn’t the first time the Mongolians have come to call on Southern Chen’s imperial family.

I do not monetise my hobby translations, but if you’d like to support my work generally or support my light novel habit, you can either buy me a coffee or commission me. This is also to note that if you see this message anywhere else than on tumblr, do come to my tumblr. It’s ad-free. ↩︎

The “eight feet tall” was a common description for “tall”. Probably about 185cm. ↩︎

The precursor to the nunchucks. They look like nunchucks, except one of the sticks is about 4x the size of the other one, with a short chain in the middle. It’s an anti-cavalry weapon. ↩︎

Poem by Huang Tingjian, Song dynasty. It was called “To Huang Jifu”, a friend of Huang Tingjian in his youth. What’s implied here is “since we met in spring beneath fruit trees and drank from a single cup, it’s been ten years of wandering alone, moving from place to place, and missing you.” ↩︎

#相見歡 #fei tian ye xiang #joyful reunion #xiang jian huan #fox translates things

[perhaps-in-anotherdream]

[CN] Season 2- Victor and MC- Chapter 4 & 5 (Eng Translation)- Part 3

⌚Warning:⌚ This post contains detailed spoilers for a chapter that is yet to release in the global server. Don't continue under the cut if you don't wish to be spoiled!(◍•ᴗ•◍)

✧✧ PART 1 || PART 2

-

✧ [CH 4-12] ✧

At BS office: With the help of her subordinates, MC is working on gathering information on Lu Kang, and the mysterious man in black. But the tracker she left on him lost its signal after some time, so the investigation has reached an dead-end for now.

It's also the day Victor will be released from the hospital. So, MC goes to pick him up.

He has changed out of his hospital gown, and returned to his suit and leather shoes.

I sigh inwardly, though Victor has always been very busy, but recently he seems to have become even busier.

MC: You've just been discharged from hospital, don't you want to go home and rest?

Victor: It's not like I was really hospitalized. Besides, I remember that you still have something to report to me.

MC: Now I understand that being a CEO is really not easy.

Victor: If you really want to be considerate of others, improve the quality of your work.

I tilt my face up, and pat my bag while looking at him.

MC: So where does CEO Victor want to test the quality of my work?

Victor: Go to LFG.

-

MC notes that Victor gets in his work mode™ as soon as he enters LFG LOL

MC reports Victor about her findings that Lu Kang once lost a lawsuit against LFG and seemed to hold LFG responsible for the bankruptcy.

Victor explains that the deal with Lu Kang's company didn't proceed because they were found secretly making false accounts and such doings will eventually lead to plummeting. LFG never did or neither do they need to persecute anyone for business competition, and it'll bring more trouble than benefits anyway.

I scrutinize the sharp air exuding from his eyebrows, and can't help but mutter under my breath.

MC: Victor, you've always been so decisive and swift in action. Haven't you made more or less some enemies?

[Note: MC uses the idiom "雷厉风行" which literally translates to- passing like thunder and moving like wind.]

Victor: When there are interests involved, even if you do nothing, there will be enemies. The rules of the game are inherently cruel, and to have people who want to put some tricks to use, is quite ordinary.

MC gives Victor another report which she compiled based on Lu Kang's memory.

MC points out- the lawsuit incident was a while ago and it shouldn't be the reason he attacked Victor. She assumes-- it has something to do with the "game" that was mentioned in his memory many times. Lu Kang and the young man who partnered in the game probably tried to escape halfway, and they were killed because of the "no escapee rule."

Victor takes MC's reasoning under consideration, and specifically points out that all the victims of the murders are Evolvers. MC expresses her assumption that it could be because the authority of the game has some hidden agenda.

We glance at each other, and once again each sink into reflecting on the matter.

After a while, Victor picks up the last page of the report, and flips through it.

Victor: The trail for that killer is broken?

MC: Yes, should be. We suspect that he threw away the tracker.

Victor looks at the contents of the report repeatedly, then presses it on the table, and taps his fingertips on the last spot tracked by the tracker.

Victor: This place, you've only checked the public webpage. So the trail is not completely broken yet. Let them use the internal channels to investigate again. Don't waste the first-level authority I gave you.

Victor raises his eyes and looks at me, then puts the report back in my hand.

MC: Do I need to investigate that game altogether?

Victor: No need. I will send someone specialized to investigate. Remember, everything you just said is only a conjecture.

Victor: Without my permission, do not voluntarily investigate in private.

MC: Yes, BOSS.

The worries that have been clogging up in my chest for days, finally dissipates in several degrees. Even if I sympathized with Lu Kang, this action to get back at someone is never the right thing to do.

MC: Fortunately, this car accident is not related to the Evolver assassination. Just as I said, who would be so courageous, that he dares to pick a fight with CEO Victor?

Victor: The "bodyguard" is finally relieved?

MC: Relieved!

Victor: Go back when you feel relieved. Start concentrating on your task next week.

I grab the report, preparing to leave, just then Victor calls me again. I look back, and see that he seems to have sent a message to someone.

He halts for a moment, then stands up with one hand propped on the tabletop, his deep gaze falling on my face.

Victor: Thank you for these few days.

I stare blankly at him for a while, and quickly perk up with an even bigger smile.

MC: No need to be polite, Mr. Victor. Just let me book a free pudding from Souvenir!

I turn around at Victor's momentary expression of helplessness, running out of the office like a wisp of smoke.

Ever since confirming his safety, I feel that every time we see each other, it all becomes much more relaxed.

Behind the current life, there are still bubbling up unsettling factors in motion.

But precisely because things being as such, is what makes me want to cherish the rare tranquility all the more.

-

✧ [4-13] ✧

Just a moment after walking out of the LFG building, I suddenly remember that I've forgotten one thing, and rush back to the lobby.

After talking to the administrative staff at the front desk, I dial Victor's number.

Victor: Hello?

MC: Victor, I forgot one thing just now. To congratulate you on your 'discharge', I've prepared a small gift for you. The staff will deliver it for me later.

Victor: ....I've said I wasn't really hospitalized. What are you up to again?

MC: Just treat it as a blessing. You must accept it! That's all.

Victor: Hold on.

MC: Is there anything else?

Victor: Help me think of a name.

MC: What kind of name? A kitten, a puppy or a relative's child?

Victor: ....Common name, male.

MC: Why are you asking this all of a sudden?

Victor: Because your imagination is comperatively rich.

What kind of answer is this...

I complain inwardly, but still give it a serious thought.

MC: Let me think. How about this one!

(Players get to choose a name from the three options)

Victor: What kind of strange name is that...

Victor's helpless sigh comes from the other end of the phone.

Victor: Never mind. I shouldn't have had any expectations. I'll accept your gift. That's all.

After hanging up the call, I'm still a little baffled by the request.

He abruptly asked me to help think of a name, and also a male's name. Could it be that he is going to use it himself?

Could it be that there is something that requires a disguised identity?

But does he even need to disguise.... aren't the six letters "Victor" the best pass in itself.

Anyway, the name I gave him off the top of my head, he definitely won't use it.

I shake my head, my train of thoughts returning to the gift I've left behind just a moment ago, and can't help but look forward to it.

I wonder when the Victor of now receives this gift, what will the expression on his face be like?

-

✧[POV back to Victor's office]✧

Closing the last document, Victor leans into his chair, gently pinching his brows.

Opening his eyes, the pink-colored gift box on the corner of the table enters his line of sight again. The lofty color seems to be urging him to open it as soon as possible.

Victor unwraps the box, and inside lies a round Shiba Inu doll, appearing a little old.

He wrinkles his eyebrows, takes it out, and sees a small folded note also being pressed onto the bottom of the box.

He patiently unfolds the note again, the carefully and neatly written calligraphy greets his eyes.

Victor: (reading the note) "Congratulations on your 'recovery,' and here's a small gift for you. This is the doll that has accompanied me for many years. I wish you well and hope you're happy." - MC

Victor: ....Childish.

Victor subconsciously says a word, and falls silent again.

Unknowingly why, but he always feels that he's somewhat familiar with this scene, but he also can't amalgamate the impression any further.

Even just the silly Shiba-Inu doll on the table, brings him a trace of intimacy.

[Note: This is the same Shiba-Inu doll MC's dad gifted her as a kid, and she gave it to Victor in S1 "Rooftop Date," when she wanted to comfort him realizing how much he misses his departed mom.]

It seems as if, ever since meeting her and getting acquainted with each other, this strange feeling often arises.

Is it because she has an Evol associated with memories?

But again, Victor is also very clear that her Evol doesn't have effect on himself.

Or is that, it's simply owing to her?

Victor blankly stares at the doll for a while, and by the time he circles back to his senses, it's already somewhat late.

He pulls open a locked drawer next to his desk, puts the doll inside, and catches a glimpse of the document marked with a sharp " S " symbol underneath.

"Illegal psychoactive drugs", " CORE", "has the potential to stimulate Evol"...

Several eye-catching keywords are marked in red, even in the twilight, which are still clearly identifiable.

The information the girl has reported to him once again surfaces in Victor's mind.

She has organized it very meticulously, but after reading it all thoroughly, the dense fog before his eyes hasn't dispersed.

Those layers of crisscrossing threads seems to have already involved all the parties, standing in different positions, making the situation chaotic.

And all these disputes still ultimately point to the same source--

BLACK SWAN CORE.

When it's all said and done, is this situation because everyone is eager to obtain it, or is there an unknown force hiding in the depository, pulling the strings?

There are still numerous issues that needs to be resolved, and one can not always watch the fire burning across the river.

Victor locks the drawer, and glances at the clock on the wall.

The phone rings at the right time, it's an encrypted email from BS.

Mail: "BOSS, as per your requirements, the relevant information has been sent to the other party."

Victor simply knocks down a reply, gets up and puts on his jacket, preparing to leave.

A pile of events is connected into a ring, and each angler, too, is bait for another.

He is looking forward to what kind of prey can be hooked this time.

-

✧ [CH 4-15] ✧

Victor meets Lucien at the research center, who hands him the report of a research.

Victor says the results are clear but Lucien says they only confirmed their guesses, and that CORE has been the focus of everyone after Evol was publicized, but there are perhaps other things affecting the world. Lucien asks if Victor feels that the world is not quite right and that every civilization circulates within a box, the time they have is likely more limited than expected.

Victor says it depends on how an individual views the matter, there's no need to pre-determine an outcome.

Lucien asks Victor if he believes he'll be able to get out of the box. Victor replies, "Not believe, it's a must."

After Victor gets in the car, he receives an email: "Dear Mr. [the name MC chose for him earlier], thank you for your support towards Hunter Games."

The rest of the email is basically explaining the rules of the game.‶

-

✧ [Victor scene in CH 5] ✧

Victor is returning from a business trip. After giving Goldman some instructions, he glances out of the window of the helicopter. Even though everything is peaceful, to him something always seems amiss.

He receives an email containing only one word, "Advanced." His expression doesn't change much since he already expected this outcome. The mail disappears, and he taps on another anonymous email with the instructions- He'll be entering the betting venue in 15 minutes and he should get prepared.

When the helicopter is about to land on the LFG rooftop, he glances out of the window once again and observes the people of the city living their day to day peaceful lives.

The noise-reduction headset cuts out the sound of the outside world, but the mere information sent back to him by his vision, is sufficient to prove the tranquility of the world before his eyes.

The helicopter lands. He settles some works with the staff.

Victor raises his hand to look at his watch, the gray clouds being reflected on the dial, slightly blurs the trajectory of the clock hands.

In a split second, along with lowering his arm, an inconspicuous red light suddenly streaks across the dial.

There's still ten minutes to enter the "betting venue".

The staff turns around, walking towards the elevator, cold wind blows on Victor's face, fluttering the hem of his coat.

Somewhere directly opposite, a small cross hair has always been aiming at the position of his heart.

??: "Code L" elimination plan in progress, target locked.

A second before the trigger is squeezed tightly, the person behind the lens suddenly lifts up, raises his head, looking straight into the set of deep eyes in the distance.

The clamors of the city conceals much of the noise, the discharge of bullet muffles in the silencer, so much so that in this shattering rain, it doesn't even make a crisp sound of snapping a branch.

A dispute between the light and the dark, seemingly has arrived to its conclusion.

[Trivia: The call that comes with the Chapter karma card-- is actually Victor nagging with MC on her report over phone inside the helicopter-- before it lands on the LFG rooftop!]

#I'm just a girl with lots of feelings that's all T^T #mlqc victor #mlqc li zeyan #li zeyan #love and producer #恋与制作人 #李泽言 #mlqc #mr love queen's choice #mr love victor #mldd victor #mlqc gavin #mlqc kiro #mlqc lucien #mlqc translations #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #mr love queens choice #mlqc season 2 #mlqc s2

[idorkish]

4 AM Cuddles Part 2

A/n: this is the second part. Again, , this is something I wrote back in 2016 on my original idorkish blog. I couldn't find it in the mess of posts from that, so I'm posting from scratch.

Part 1 Here

Tagged: @agustdowney

It had been a week since your departure from the Avengers’ Tower. You had told Natasha you were just going to visit some family for a while - which wasn’t a complete lie. That night you left, you had called Hank, and as predicted, he had offered you space at the mansion. You knew seeing your old team would be good for you. There were many times over the past years that you almost went back to them, but you knew you couldn't. You hadn’t wanted to use your powers anymore and no one in SHIELD knew, or at least they pretended not to know. Despite this, home was with the X-men and the students. 

You knew you didn’t have much time left before having to return to the Avengers, it was your job. The past week was spent reconnecting with your friends. You spent time with Piotr - drawing and painting together and helping the students in his classes. Other moments were spent with the girls - Jean & Ororo- shopping and gossiping. You also helped around with chores and classes, as needed. Charles insisted you use the time to rest but you loved helping with the children and they seemed to like you back. Most nights you spent in the lab with Hank. It was the most comforting place for you and you felt as if you had never left this space. Despite being close to other X-Men, everyone knew you and Hank were each other’s favorites.

The past week had been filled with nothing but joy and happiness. A few people questioned your real motives for returning but you dismissed them immediately. Charles and Jean were sure to know your real reasons but both kept their old promises of never invading your mind to poke around. Jean knew that with time, you would open up and tell what happened. Otherwise, she was glad to have one of her best friends back. 

You had at least another full week left before you would be forced to return. Knowing you would have to leave your family and friends again was hard and began to weigh on you. Late Thursday, you found your way to the roof of the mansion, your feet hanging over the sides. When younger, and still a student here, you would often find yourself up on the roof to get away from everyone. The quiet that came from being alone gave you time to think. You had taken off and immediately threw yourself into keeping yourself busy, that you never once gave yourself the time to think of what had happened and your next steps. Would you actually go back to the Avengers? You'd be forced to work with Tony and pretend that you never had an issue with him. You knew that if you went back, Natasha would figure everything out. The team wouldn't be the same. You could go back to being a normal agent, perhaps change office locations. But you loved being out in the field, fighting with the team was something you couldn't go back from. 

     Your other choice was to leave and stay at the Mansion. Charles would be more than willing to let you stay. You could work with the students in class or you could help Charles with admin things. Heck, you were sure Hank would be willing to make you his assistant if it meant you staying. The thought that disturbed you the most was that of running away from both and never returning. You knew you could leave in the middle of the night and they'd have a hard time finding you. Even with cerebro, it would take Charles time to find you and you'd be gone by the time they got there. 

“Bad day?” A voice called out making you scream and jump. 

You flailed about as you started to fall from the ledge back into the roof. The voice started laughing. 

“You ass,” you sighed when you realized the voice belonged to your blue ball of fuzz. “Damnit Fuzz, why do you enjoy sneaking up on me?” 

“Why do you insist on calling me Fuzz?” 

“I asked first, Hank.”

Hank walked toward you and helped you to your get before pulling you close and placing his hands on your waist. 

“Because, my dear, it is far too amusing and adorable to see you so lost in thought that you don't realize the amount of noise I do make to get your attention, yet you still get scared. So again, bad day?” 

Resting your forehead on his chest, all you could do was sigh and shrug. 

“Come on. You have to give me more than that.” 

You pulled away from your best friend and ran your hands down your face. 

“Just a lot to think about. I’ve made some bad choices lately and I’m not sure what to do anymore.” 

Hank stepped toward you and wrapped his arms around your shoulders, pulling you back to his chest. Instinctively your arms wrapped around his waist and you snuggled against him. He looked down at the woman in his arms and sighed as he rubbed your back. 

“I got an idea. What about an ice cream and movie night? Like we used to do. I’ll grab the ice cream and spoons, you pick the corniest movie you can find, then you can vent to your dear ol’ Fuzz.” 

You let out a smile and nodded your head against his chest. “That sounds perfect. Meet in your room?” 

“Meet you there in 20 ok?” 

-------------------

-Back at the Tower-

Natasha flopped down on the couch next to Clint and sighed. It had been a week since she had last seen her best friend and despite the messages that she was ok, Natasha couldn’t help but worry. 

“Ya know, if she says she’s ok, then you know she’s ok right?” Clint’s voice broke Natasha out of her thoughts and she nodded slowly. 

“I know, but it doesn’t feel right. She’s never talked about her family to me and we talk about everything. She would have told me something before taking off in the middle of the night while we’re all away. Do you think she’s in some sort of trouble?” 

It was not often that Natasha would show her worry. It was even rarer for Natasha to visibly be anxious. Clint sighed and grabbed her legs, pulling them onto his lap and massaging her calves slowly. 

“Tasha, calm down. Y/n is ok. She has another week before she’s back here. And we’ll probably see her at the party this weekend.” Throwing her head back against the sofa’s cushions, she let out a groan. 

“I forgot about that party! And we’ll be having ‘important people’, as Stark refers to them, there as well.” Clint let out a laugh and pushed her legs off his lap. 

“It’ll be fine. I got to go, training and all.”

Natasha half-heartedly waved at Clint. Pulling her phone, she shot off some quick messages. 

Tasha: y/n!!!! See you at the party right?! Miss you babe! :*

y/n: Tasha! <3 <3 Fingers crossed! Miss ya right back my baby spider! 

Tasha: Even if you aren’t here, help me pick out something, k? Skype? Pics? HELP! <3

y/n: Send me pics and I’ll help. I’m 90%  sure I’ll make it to the party. Pinky promise!

Tasha: Ugg, you’re killing me! I’m taking Wanda shopping tomorrow, we’ll send plenty of pics so be near your phone! OR ELSE

Y/n: lol I promise! I gotta get going. Need to help with dinner. LOVE YOU MI AMOR!

Natasha sighed and tossed her phone on the coffee table. She normally wouldn’t be this anxious but she knew something was off. Y/n would never keep things from her. Sighing, she shook her head. It would only be a few more days before the big party. She’d see Y/n there, for sure. Jumping to her feet, she made her way to the twins’ apartment area, “WANDA! We need to start planning for Saturday!”  

------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------

After an hour of binging on ice cream and corny 80s movies, you had finally vented to Hank about everything that happened, although you decided not to mention names. You knew that Hank wasn’t the biggest fan of Tony Stark, and you didn’t want him to look at you differently. 

“So, you slept with a co-worker behind everyone’s back and behind his partner’s back? You know you’re my best friend, and I won’t judge you, but that was a mistake,” Hank pointed his spoon at you before grabbing another spoonful of ice cream. 

“I know Fuzz! That’s why I broke it off! I couldn’t do it anymore and I didn’t want it to be awkward, but then it became awkward! I really thought I was in love with him ya know? Then I realized I was just being used and I pulled away from him. But then he started getting all weird,” pausing you shoveled a spoonful of ice cream into your mouth and sighed.

 “...and? Cmon, I’ve let you go the whole week without me asking anything. You were pretty anxious on the phone when you called. I’m worried about you Boo.” 

You smiled and chuckled at the nickname. You had called him Fuzz from day one of being friends, it was a name only you could call him. It wasn’t until you forced him to watch Monster’s Inc that he started calling you Boo. Scooting closer, you rested your head on Hank’s arm and sighed.

 “Hank, I was falling in love with a man who was already taken. I convinced myself that he would leave her because he obviously wasn’t happy with her. I kept telling myself that it would all work out. It wasn’t until he proposed to her that it all came crumbling down, but he still kept coming to me,” you sniffled and wiped at your nose. 

Hank shook his head and pulled you to sit between his legs and his arms wrapped around you. There were no words he could say to make your heart heal and it was in moments like these that he felt helpless. “Boo...Y/n, despite what happened. Maybe it’s for the best,” he took a moment to think of his next words carefully, unsure as to how you would react, “What if you just came back here? With me..Well with us. It wasn’t that bad was it? I-I-we all miss you!” 

You sat between his legs, your head resting on his chest. You had sat like this so many times over the time of your friendship and it had been the most safe spot you could ever find. You moved your hand to his arm and slowly stroked at the blue fur.

“I’ve been thinking about that ya know. About staying. I was going to talk to Charles and see if I could just work at the school. I’m sure I could do the most good here. I wouldn’t need to use my powers as much here…” your voice drifted. You closed your eyes and felt Hank shift behind you. He moved you both so you were now laying on the bed, you laid on him and nuzzled your cheek to his chest as his arms wrapped around your waist.

 “Y/n, we would all love you to come back home. Let’s be honest, Charles would let you do nothing all day if it meant you came back. But it has to be because you want to be here and not because you’re running from your problems. It didn’t work well last time, it won’t work well this time. You’re my best friend, and you should know I love you more than anybody else. So when you’re sure about what you want, I will support you.” 

You wiped at the tears threatening to spill and nodded at his words. You knew what you had to do. Before you could come back to your family, you had to face your team. You couldn’t just abandon them. 

“Hank, there’s a party at work coming up. WIll you go with me? Pretty please? With cherries and sprinkles on top?” 

Hank gave a toothy grin and nodded, “Of course I will. We’ll make everyone jealous. I mean, cmon, Just look at me!” 

You looked up at his smirking face and both of you started laughing. 

“Let’s get some sleep, we’ll talk more in the morning,” Hank pressed a lingering kiss to your forehead and pulled you tightly against him. Giving him a nod, you relax in his arms. This was how you often found yourself falling asleep after missions. Being in his arms again was comforting, it was safe and felt like home. 

“I love you Fuzz.” 

“I love you too my little Boo.”

#4am cuddles #hank mccoy x reader #marvel imagine #xmen imagine #avengers imagine #tony stark x reader

[arizona-trash-bag]

I can totally explain a bit of my thinking behind seeing lwj as autistic and wwx as autistic/adhd!! Before I get into specifics though, let me preface with where I’m coming from. I first saw CQL and then read the EXR translation of the novel. I prefer MDZS to CQL, but also want to acknowledge that because I do not read/speak Mandarin I am inherently experiencing this story second-hand and therefore am probably missing out on a lot of nuances. I am trying to learn Mandarin, but it will be a long time before I am even a little close to fluent lol.

Another preface- obviously not all autistic people present in the same way, and many of the things that I will mention are not solely specific to autistic people either. It’s one of those things where all of it added up together points towards asd, but each one individually would not on its own indicate asd, you know? Also, I will say that many of the things I picked up on for both characters are autistic traits that many autistic people have vs the clinical characteristics (much like most of the case I could make for wwx’s adhd would be adhd traits he has rather than symptoms that would lead to a real-world diagnosis.) Edit: OH! I almost forgot to say, that also all of these traits I’m listing are from a western perspective, and I would LOVE to read more about how autism presents in different cultures and to see conversations between autistc Chinese people specifically, so as to see if these traits are specific to western autistic people or not, but again, I do not speak Mandarin or Cantonese or any other Chinese dialect, so that’s a little inaccessible for me atm.

Ok, SO, for both characters I would list: strong sense of justice, lack of care for society’s opinion (I feel like it could be argued that lwj does to a certain point, but imo he operates more from what he morally considers to be correct and from a place of familial duty vs catering to the opinion of society at large), and then more vaguely, they both seem to be “nerdy” (this doesnt feel like the most accurate term, especially because it's not like being scholarly is specific to their characters, especially in ancient fantasy China- it’s more that their particular hmmm, flavor?? of love of knowledge feels very neurodivergent to me, vs like, being scholarly because it’s the thing that is expected of a Young Master, if that makes any sense at all- like the difference btwn someone getting an engineering degree because it is expected of them vs because they genuinely love engineering), and lastly for both- I would say that they are canonically kinky, and while I can’t cite any statistics, there’s a pretty high correlation between being autistic and being into kink. Obviously, not every person who is not vanilla is autistic, and not every autistic person is into kink…….but there is a high correlation.

For lwj specifically, the things that made me think he might be autistic are his lack of outward emoting combined with his depth and breadth of emotions, how he seems to thrive in and quite enjoy the very structured environment he grew up in, and then the last one off the top of my head (side note, I feel like a week from now I’m going to randomly think of other examples lol) I’m not actually sure IS an example, because I know (thanks to the awesome post from hunxi that you linked to that I had read previously) that his succintness does not equal autism, but I do kind of feel like it is very autistic to Always be so formal and to Always talk in textbook perfect language.

For wwx, I also think he likely has CPTSD! I’m not going to list anything for adhd or cptsd since we both agree on those :) As far as being autistic goes, there is, of course, the high prevalence of adhd/asd comorbidity. For specifc traits- while autism can show up as lack of facial expressions/tone, it can also show up as being overly exuberant and overexpressive. Especially for younger autistic children this can show up as being overly friendly/no boundaries w/ strangers (just?? going home with a random man who says he knew wwx’s parents???), making unusual connections that others do not can be both asd and adhd, his disregard for social status (disregard might be a strong word, and also I feel like this might be one of those things that got lost in translation and if I had read the original text I might have a different opinon, but what I mean here is the way that often autistic people learn certain social rules and try their best to follow them, but often do not pick up on specifics related to social hierarchy that are not spelled out for them- I think jyl’s take down of jin zixun is a great example of the /oppossite/ of what I’m talking about, and is a very neurotypical interaction. An example also of what I mean by disregard for social hierarchy, but from my own life, is how I’ve reflected on past convos w/ my boss only to realize that what I thought was just an interesting conversation about our opinons on a particular subject was actually them trying to tell-me-as-my-boss something they wanted me to do. We ended up doing things the way I wanted to do them because I didn’t realize that they were telling me to do something because they didnt explicitly say so, and because I just don’t pick up on when people are saying something from a social hierarchy pov. Idk if this makes sense or not, so I’m happy to try to expand if you would like me to. I feel like wwx could be described as having alexithymia, which is very common in autistic people, but could also be due to his cptsd. And then, I don’t feel like this is a true point because it is kind of based on headcanon? but wwx feels very demisexual to me, which is much more common for autistic people than it is for allistic people. But him being demi is not canon, just my perception of him (I see him as demisexual gay w/ massive comphet, but I know lots of people see him as bi, which also totally makes sense!!)

Tbh, I’m having a harder time than I thought I would listing wwx specifics. I might go through the book sometime this weekend and see if there are specific moments that pop out at me, but tbh w/ him its more that he Feels very adhd/asd to me?? Idk, I was diagnosed w/ adhd when I was 8, and all 4 of my siblings plus my father have offical adhd diagnoses. I’m 29 now and was only diagnosed as autistic earlier this year.  All of my close friends have always been either adhd, asd, or adhd/asd. There have been multiple people I have met that I’ve suspected were neurodivergent who have later told me they started looking into it and are now seeking formal diagnoses. I mention these things, only to give full context when I say that I have spent a lot of time observing the differences between interacting with neurotypicals and neurodivergents. I mean, obviously, it’s possible that I could just be projecting, but to me, Wwx gives off late-diagnosed/heavy masker autism/adhd combo vibes. Again, maybe I am projecting, but I did try to analyze whether I was or not previously, and determined that since in the past with other favorite characters (who I probably share more similarities in personality with) I did not feel like they were neurodivergent, so I figured that probably I wasn’t? That feels like a very convoluted sentence, but what I mean is that I have not thought that about other characters who have been my fav, so I figured that while I do project in certain areas that this particular area probably wasn’t one of them. Or, to say it in yet another way, since i did not project any of my neurodivergencies on past favorite characters, I figured I probably didn’t start doing so now.

I would love to hear more of your perspective on this, particularly because I worry that I do not have the cultural touchstones to realize when something wwx or lwj is doing is not actually a sign of being neurodivergent. I try my best to research things I don’t know about and to listen to fans who actually do have that cultural understanding, but there’s only so much I can look into on my own when I only speak/read english. And also, I love mdzs and I love talking about both adhd and autism, so I’m glad to talk about these subjects with someone else who also likes all of those topics :) Sorry for sending a book of a response and also I hope you are having a great day!!

wow wow wow anon THANK YOU for doing your research and acknowledging your blind spots you seriously made my day. I wanted to get to this as soon as I made that rant while sharing cyan’s post bc this is specifically an example of a well researched proposition based on actual lived experience and critical thinking.

I almost want to ask you to come forward so we can take this convo elsewhere for a more nuanced discussion bc you’ve already hit upon an issue that’s been holding me back from making a big blathering masterpost on the matter - that the ND experience is so unique and individual, and no one person can dictate someone else’s experience. at the end of the day, if you personally relate to these characters and gain more understanding of yourself and your experiences from them, who am I to take that away from you?

in a public space though I have to make the discussion very broad in order to accurately contextualize these issues, bc in typical autistic fashion I feel morally compelled to Do My Best and Get It Right even as the masses show no inclination of returning the favor, so apologies for the boring backstories I have to get out of the way before we can approach anything resembling new ground.

first from a diagnostic standpoint, while I recognize the traits you listed (and appreciate your clearly nuanced understanding of ND expressions) and would find value in exploring them in a personal context, they are not unique to adhd and/or autism and wouldn’t constitute a basis for diagnosis in a clinical setting. I know that's probably beside the point for this anon, but there's enough edgy teens hoarding labels out there without tacit encouragement from scientists (yes I am technically a scientist, even though my ideologies these days range from conventional to... wildly esoteric, shall we say)

from a cultural standpoint, it’s important for me to emphasize that the concept of neurodivergence is a uniquely western notion. for those unfamiliar, the term 'neurodiversity' was only coined in 1998. I was born in 1991. I existed for a whole 7 years as an autistic person before the idea of being neurodivergent was even a thing. this ND acceptance thing is very, very new - people were not making tiktok confessionals about their adhd diagnosis journeys when I was growing up.

china, like most asian countries, is about 20 years or more behind on just about every social issue compared with western countries. to better illustrate, the experience of being ND in china falls much closer to the conventional experience of disability (i.e. being eugenicized out of existence) than the tentative ND acceptance movement that’s been kickstarted in the past 20 years in the anglosphere.

safe to say, there is no ND coding going on in chinese media. characters are either explicitly ND or they're not. there's no basis for a creator subtly inducing ND-like traits in a character, because there's no such thing as ND awareness in the cultural context of where mdzs was written and consumed. any resemblance is purely accidental, as they say.

as to how this resemblance could exist - I could go into the layers and layers of historical, cultural, social and religious context that make up these characters and the xianxia genre as a whole. for this anon in particular i'm happy to, because they've done the work. please please get in touch in some way where we can have a fully fleshed out chat if you're interested in taking this further, I realize i’ve basically addressed none of the finer points you’ve raised but honestly it’s another level of discussion to be had that cannot be summarized in one blog post haha.

as for those who would scream 'but special interests!!' at a character whose sect was founded by a literal monk - what would be the point?

PS. to comprise a starting point for why it's possible to see ND4ND everywhere in media if you looked hard enough - I refer you to the seminal red oni blue oni trope 💁‍♀️

#neurodivergence #neurodiversity #actuallyautistic #autism #adhd #danmei #mo dao zu shi #the untamed #mdzs #lan wangji #wei wuxian

[drawlfoy]

The Wonders of Ohio P.5

masterlist (check here for parts 1-4!) request guidelines

pairing: draco x reader

request: from 14 year old me babey

warnings: cringe, mentions of drug use, mentions of sex, language, and just bad writing

summary: y/n is in her senior year of high school when she is asked to take on an exchange student from britain that’s a little...different. this is NOT a nonmagic AU. draco is still a wizard and this will become and integral part of the story shortly.

a/n: heyyyy everyone. i graduated from high school this week and i’m posting this as my happy-one-year-to-me. as some of you may know, i posted my very first fic on this day a year ago. i’m really happy to see how i’ve grown since and i’m so lucky to have shared this with all of you. anyways, nittygritty--

this part is really the last slow exposition chapter. chapters 6 on will be a whole whirlwind beginning with homecoming and i hope that you guys are willing to stick around. i promise itll be worth the wait. y/n is going to get the story arc of a lifetime and also please do not hate heather she is just going through it ok 

anywayssssssss

tags tags tags  @gruffle1 @missmulti @cleopatera @hahaboop @accio-rogers @geeksareunique @eltanin-malfoy @war-sword @cams-lynn @itsivyberry @ayo-cowbelly @nerd-domland @erisdogwood @loveissupernatural

word count: 4.6k (;))

song recs: 

strawberry blonde -- mitski 

in your neighbors garden -- mimi bay

wishes -- beach house

ode to artifice -- samia 

pink in the night -- mitski

enjoy <3

The seatbelt buckle scorched the side of Y/N’s exposed neck as she turned to face the disheveled blonde in the passenger seat.

“Do I need to teach you to set an alarm?” 

Draco let out a huff. “Stop. Do you have a….a comb, or a brush, or something here?” His hands looked abnormally fidgety. Their actions were shaky, varying from patting his pockets to running through his hair. He seemed more and more frustrated each time his hands left his pockets empty. 

How curious Y/N thought as she racked her brain for any remembrance of putting a brush in her car. It was always a mess, and she honestly couldn’t blame Draco for assuming that anything could be in there.

“I don’t think there’s one here,” said Y/N, trying to sound at least a little sympathetic despite the fact that his tardiness had them 10 minutes late. “You can look around if you want, king.”

“What’d you call me?” His voice was suddenly sharp and awake.

Y/N rolled her eyes so hard that she thought they’d get stuck in the back of her head. “You don’t--ok. It’s a joke. You can call guys here that.”

“And it means that I’m…?”

“It means I’m acknowledging that you exist, I guess. It’s not like it has a strict negative or positive connotation. Like, I can say ‘Ok king’ to any man telling me something and it can either be sarcastic, or it can be because I don’t know what else to say and just want to let him know I heard him.”

Draco’s eyes looked a tad glazed over when Y/N dared a glance in his direction.

“I know it’s confusing. I’m sorry. I’ll try and ease you into the world of American slang.” 

He granted her a little “uh-huh” before opening up the glovebox with great difficulty and rummaging through the mess. Y/N would’ve felt more embarrassed about the tampon that fell on the ground in the process if he seemed like he actually knew what it was. 

Her attention turned back to the road as Draco continued to sift through things. Y/N couldn’t help but wonder if there was anything embarrassing hidden away in the corners of her car--after all, it hadn’t been organized since the beginning of summer--and decided that it was better to pretend it wasn’t happening.

It wasn’t the eerie silence that eventually prompted her to turn to look his direction--no, it was the weird energy in the car, like the feeling right before a thunderstorm. All the hair raised on her arms, and she shivered...but it was stifling hot in the car.

“Oh, did you find a brush?” she asked. His hair laid as perfectly as always, but his hands were lying shaking in his lap, palms to the sky. No hairbrush was in sight.

“Er... “ He was paler than usual, which was quite the feat for someone who looked like a ream of paper. “No. Just remembered a trick my father taught me.”

She tensed at the mention of his father--the very first time Draco had done so. “Oh. Okay. Glad you got it figured out, king.”

Her voice lightened on the last word, hoping she could coax a little smile out of him. 

“Don’t call me that.”

“Ok.”

oOo

 There were many things Y/N thought she understood, but Draco Malfoy being in her Physics C class was not one of them. She took pity and sat next to him as he fumbled his way through the first lecture. His notes, while neat, were littered with crossed out portions and question marks. 

You do know there’s an eraser on your pencil, right? she jotted on a note that she sent his way. His brow furrowed and he seemed to tap at the end of the eraser for just a few moments before deciding otherwise and xing out another practice problem he’d done incorrectly. Symbols that she’d never seen before were scattered all throughout his notes. 

Maybe the UK kids just learn stuff differently.

By the time that Physics came to an end, Y/N was eager to get away from the storm cloud that was brewing over Draco’s perfectly smoothed and infuriatingly pretty moonbeam colored hair. The amount of attention he was getting from all the other girls made Y/N want to jump off a cliff--suddenly everyone was her “best friend” “just wanting to check up on what happened over summer”. She was grateful to see the face of Lizzy, grinning and looking mischievous during their break period.

“You must be Draco,” said the redhead, a glint in her eyes. He looked a little scared.

“Er...yeah.”

“Mind giving us some privacy? Y/N and I have some urgent matters to discuss,” she continued, looking him up and down. Y/N attempted to ignore the twist in her gut as she watched him swallow and nod, turning away to go brood elsewhere. Once he was out of sight, Lizzy grabbed her arm and yanked her into the girl’s bathroom.

“It’s so funny how he’s following you around like a lost puppy,” Lizzy said. “Also, he’s gorgeous. If you don’t at least try to get some of that, then I’m never trusting your judgement again.”

“But, Li-”

“The boy’s a fucking walking Wattpad story cover. Dark, tragic past, unbelievably sharp jawline, rich parents, exotic accent....honestly, Y/N, I don’t know what else you could want.” 

“Mom literally called him my host brother,” said Y/N. The bathroom was starting to smell suspiciously like cotton candy. “That’s wrong. On so many levels.” 

“But you’re not related!”

“But it’s gross! And predatory! The kid doesn’t even know how to do basic algebra! I’m all he has!” 

Lizzy’s eyebrow found its new home in the middle of her forehead. “You’ve gone absolutely batty if you think that every girl cursed with attraction to men in Cincinnati wouldn’t jump his skin at the chance. Use your head, queenie. He’s not alone. Shoot your shot.”

Y/N opened her mouth to serve back a retort--that was definitely there, thank you very much--but decided against it once she realized that the bathroom had become dead silent. “Um...maybe we can go over this later.” She flickered her eyes over to the line behind them that was now intently hanging on their every word. “I forgot I had to talk to the counselor.”

Lizzy was smirking as they exited the bathroom and began the search for Draco. It didn’t take long--the circle comprised of Heather and her friends was more than enough of a giveaway that he was about. 

“Draco, sorry to make you wait,” Y/N called out. It took all her effort to abstain from cringing as her voice rang out across the group. Heather turned to send her a big smile.

“Hey Y/N! You didn’t tell me that Draco was from London!” 

“He’s not,” she responded. “He’s from Wiltshire.” 

“Wiltshire. Of course. That’s what I meant.”

Draco’s smile was tense as he looked down at Heather--who stood roughly 4 inches below him--but he was smiling, and that wasn’t something that Y/N was on the receiving end of frequently. She didn’t know whether to be offended or relieved.

“I’m sure. Break’s almost over, Draco. I can show you where the English department is before the time is up.” 

 He paused, looking down at the blonde grinning up at him. “Er, actually, Heather already offered to show me around for the rest of the day.”

“Yeah, for sure. I’ll see you in French.”

Y/N was shocked at the sheer amount of jealousy that rose up in her throat as she turned away and made her way to Art History---the only class Y/N and Draco didn’t share. The walk was strange. Being in solitude after having a gloomy British boy attached to her hip was understandably eerie. Because that’s all it was. Adjustment. Nothing else.

She settled in at a table full of her friends, namely Sylvia. The tall girl was always a bit whimsical, but Y/N found that she was a breath of fresh air compared to everyone else. It made sense that Sylvia would take Art History--her dark academic inspired aura and the perpetually hot mug of black coffee just screamed history nut. 

“How’s your new brother?” she asked after the teacher had taken attendance. “I say that because I haven’t heard his name yet.”

“Ick, it’s gross to think of him as my brother,” Y/N responded. “And I know! We need to catch up. I’m sorry about not talking to you for a bit. The time difference was a bit weird during your trip.”

“It’s ok, I get it. I was away on family business, anyways. I didn’t expect you to spend your days staying up until the wee hours of the night to tell me all about your exchange student. Anyways. His name?”

“You’re gonna scream when you hear it, Vie,” she said. “Draco Malfoy. It’s so posh. You have no idea. It definitely suits him, though. He’s very...You good?” 

Sylvia’s olive toned face looked a bit paler than usual. “Yeah. Yeah, I just remembered that I forgot to take the trash out this morning. I’ll have to text my mom about it.” She adjusted the wool cardigan that hung around her shoulders and came up looking composed. “Draco, huh? His parents must hate him.”

“At the very least! He’s so rude. And uptight. I can’t tell if it’s just a Brit thing or if it’s because he’s an asshole.” 

Sylvia laughed. “I mean, when I was there over the summer, it was a different culture for sure. We’re by far louder. But I didn’t meet many mean ones. You must’ve just got a bad apple, then.”

“I guess so. He is pret--”

“Ladies, is there something you’d like to share with the rest of the class?”

“No, Mrs. Jensen,” Sylvia and Y/N said in unison. 

oOo

“Thoughts, king?” 

“I told you not to call me that.” Draco glared at her as he tried to open the passenger side door to find that it was locked tight. “Unlock? Please?”

“And I told you not to get cozy with ASB kids, yet here we are,” said Y/N as she slotted the key into the lock and turned. 

“What’s it to you?”

“Nothing. I’m just looking out for you.” She slammed the door shut and threw her bag in the bag. The line of traffic to get out of the school was long and stuffy, and she was eager to just get it over with.

The wait was so hot that Draco peeled off his stupid formalish jacket that was on thin ice of being called a blazer and probably worth more than her car. Y/N tried to look away as his hair became slightly ruffled, but she couldn’t pry her eyes away. It was endearing, almost, how someone who could look so posh and serious could have ruffly hair--and hair that naturally light, too. She had asked him one night if it was dyed, and he scowled at her and told her the grammatically correct term was dead, and that his hair was alive, just like the rest of him, thank you very much. She dropped it. 

Y/N finally rolled down her window after the AC simply refused to satisfy her, and the wind was a nice reminder to keep in her own lane. Draco was beautiful. There was no other way to put it. He had a feel of power to him, like he was capable of anything but just held it back. But he was just as inaccessible as he was pretty, and there was nothing she could do about that.

“Y/N?” He asked after a few moments of sitting in silence. “What’s Homecoming?” 

“Who told you about that?” 

“Heather. She asked if I had a date. Is that like a ball here?”

“She asked you if you had a date on the first day?”

“Yeah.”

“Fuck. ASB kids never do sleep, huh.” 

“What?”

“Homecoming isn’t a ball. It’s like a...an…” Y/N paused as she saw Draco raise his eyebrows. “It’s, like, uh….Well I guess it is like a ball. An American one, though. Way less extravagant. It’s an excuse to get dressed up and run around the city. There technically is a dance, and all the ASB kids have to go, but literally no one else does but the underclassmen. Normally I go out with my friends and a date to somewhere fun and take pictures. And then get trashed afterwards.”

“Classy,” said Draco. “I think you can go now.”

A honk behind her emphasized his point as the space in between her and the car in front widened substantially. 

“Thanks. Anyways, it’s not really a big deal. I’d suggest not going with Heather so you can skip out on the dance portion. Or if you want to go with her, get her to come with us into Cincinnati because I am not going to spend my last homecoming watching a grind circle.” 

“A...what circle? And I don’t want to go with her.”

The relief Y/N felt was embarrassing. “Um...better if you don’t worry about it. You have a long time to figure it out anyways.”

He seemed satisfied with that answer, propping his elbow up on the center console. The pristine button up he was wearing had ridden up, exposing the pale skin and the bottom of the tattoo she had seen a hint of earlier. “Do you have a date?”

“Um. No, not yet. I don’t think anyone except for couples do yet. We have until the end of this month to figure it out, so I’m not too worried about it.”

He nodded as Y/N’s car finally left the school parking lot and began picking up speed. 

“I’m assuming you had balls? At your posh boarding school?” 

“Er…” Draco ran his hand through his hair, ruffling it further. “We only had one. It was when I was 14. We called it the Yule Ball.”

“Why only one?”

“It was for a special occasion. We had two other schools join us as well. It was quite a good time.”

“So every student only has one ball in their lifetime?”

“Of course not. Some of us--the ones from old families--have events like that regularly.”

“I’m sorry if this is overstepping my bounds,” began Y/N, noticing how he tensed up, “So you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. But, I’m just wondering, what is your family like?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like are they nice?”

“Oh.” The line in his forehead relaxed. “No. They wouldn’t like you.”

“Glad to hear it,” she said. “Do you like them?”

She heard the breath hitch in his throat. “I don’t know anymore.”

“I’m sure it’s hard to think about it when you feel like they’ve just shipped you off without anyone,” she added. “I’m really sorry, Draco. I know I’ve been a bit mean to you. I know that I’ll never be able to understand what you’re going through right now.”

The slight smile that spread across his face would’ve knocked her to her knees if she wasn’t already sitting down. “It’s okay. I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”

The silence that awaited them for the rest of the journey was comfortable.

oOo

School began to pick up the pace after the first few days. Y/N got into the swing of homework and her extracurricular workload. Draco was having a bit more difficulty, she presumed, but he’d never admit to it. She took pity one evening and gave him her laptop opened to a Khan Academy tab for Physics and was pleased to see that he showed up to class the next day with completed homework. He asked to borrow her laptop on a much more frequent basis after that. 

The routine they settled into had her heart leaping into her chest almost constantly--they’d eat breakfast together at the table, Y/N would try to ignore how pretty he looked across the table as they shared a pot of black tea (earl grey, which Y/N was thrilled to learn was his favorite as well), they’d get in the car, she’d write him notes in physics to help him (even though he never asked, he always smile and give a little shake of his head before unfolding them and intently staring at her writing), they’d drive home together and bitch about their French teacher, he’d retire to his room and do whatever pretty blonde Brits do in the afternoon, they’d meet unexpectedly at the same time in the late evening to have a final cup of tea, and then they’d go to bed and do it all over again. 

It was difficult for her to admit, but Y/N was falling very quickly for Draco. It was gross, and wrong, and manipulative, and completely against the code of conduct for exchange families, but she couldn’t help but spend her days fantasizing about how his gold-spun hair would feel as she ran her fingers through it or how gently she’d trace her fingers around the tattoo on the soft flesh of his forearm…

But Y/N knew those thoughts weren’t right. And they would go away. Eventually. 

“How’s it going?” Sylvia asked, effectively snapping her out of her thoughts. The Art History sub told them to go into independent study, whatever that meant. Y/N was not very good at either of those words.

“Pretty good. I can’t believe it’s been 3 weeks already,” she said. “It’s gonna be Halloween before we know it.”

“I can’t fucking waitttt,” said Sylvia. “I’m gonna be Wednesday Addams.”

“Again?”

“What else would I be? I get a new high collared black dress every year. It’d be a shame if it were going to go to waste. What are you gonna be?”

“One of the thousands of students finishing their UChicago ED app hours before the deadline.”

“You’re kidding. Can’t you just finish it the day before?”

“Where’s the fun in that? And, plus, I don’t have an idea as cool as Wednesday.”

Sylvia smirked as she opened up her planner and began to jot down something. “How’s Draco doing? I haven’t seen much of him lately. It seems like he never hangs out with us at break anymore.”

“Yeah, I ended up getting him connected with the Physics teacher. He’s getting tutored now. He thinks it’s all bullshit, but I don’t want to be the reason he doesn’t get into a good school.”

“Is that all you care about?” She smiled at Y/N. “Lizzy was telling me that you’re interested in him.”

“First of all, keep your voice down. Second of all, I’m not supposed to be, so I’m not.” Y/N hoped that the edge in her voice was convincing enough.

Her friend raised her eyebrows so dramatically that her glasses nearly slipped off her nose. “Y/N, who’s gonna hear about it. You guys are both going away at the end of the year anyways, and I’m sure he’s not going to be writing to his dear mum about his love life. If it’s consensual, there’s nothing wrong with it. I think it’d be good for both of you.”

“I see that, but let’s put me in his shoes right now.” Y/N shuffled in her seat and clasped her hands. “I’m rich. I’m British. I’m very hot. My parents throw extravagant balls for me and I kiss pretty girls that say water like ‘wota’. I’ve spent my life in silk and I only drink the finest teas. My family is so important that I had to be shipped off halfway across the world just to be safe. And now my incredibly expensive life has reached a peak because I’m sleeping with a random girl in Ohio that has run approximately 4 stop signs since I’ve met her.”

“You’re sleeping with Draco?” 

Y/N turned to see Lauren, a wide-eyed, obnoxious, but well meaning girl staring at her. She heard Sylvia stifle a laugh behind her. “No. I was kidding.” The smile that she followed with was awkward and showed way too many teeth. 

“Oh, okay,” said Lauren. “Do you know if he likes anyone?”

Sylvia’s smirk widened.

“No, actually, he’s a pretty private guy.” Y/N sent her another tense smile, and Lauren finally turned away.

“Jealous, huh?”

“Shut up, Vie. You know I wouldn’t go for him. Even if I had the chance.”

She just raised an eyebrow and smiled. 

The afternoon brought its own set of struggles. Their French teacher had blown up at another student who had been caught cheating on their last test, and it was all Y/N could do but hold back her snickers until they were out in the parking lot.

“I can’t believe they still managed to conjugate their cheat sheet wrong.” Y/N was gasping for breath as she unlocked the car door and threw her stuff inside. Draco was watching from the passenger seat, his lips in a soft upturn. “Can you imagine? Oh my god.”

He just shook his head and turned to look out the window, but she could see the smile slowly stretching across his face. “Ridiculous. You could totally tell Monsieur enjoyed it, too. I bet he gets off on making kids like Joey cry.”

“I had a teacher like that,” he started. “He was a Poti-a chemistry teacher.”

“Oh? Did he ever attack you?”

“No. He liked me. Family friends and all.”

“Ah. I almost forgot that your family was rich and influential. Thanks for the reminder.” She reached across and lightly punched his shoulder. His smile, though still remaining, seemed to shrink. “Hey, what’s that in your bag?” 

Y/N motioned to the cardstock peeking out of his nondescript black backpack that always seemed to fit more than it was meant to. She could make out a few words written in what looked like a bright red sharpie--something that did not exactly scream Draco Malfoy aesthetic.

He froze up. “Er. It’s from Heather. I think she called it a Homecoming ask?”

Y/N’s throat dried up to the point that no words would willingly make the climb from her diaphragm to her tongue; instead, she settled for giving him a little nod and what she hoped was a convincing smile.

“I told her I’d think about it,” he continued. “I remember you saying that the school dances sucked. So I let her know that I wasn’t sure yet.”

She nodded again. “Super cool. You can do whatever you want, though. You can come with my group if you’d like, but you’re welcome to go with Heather’s.”

“What? So you aren’t coming with me if I go with Heather?”

“Fuck no, dude. I don’t hate her, but I would way prefer to spend a night with my friends than some girl from my French class that only talks to me because she thinks you’re hot.” 

The expression Draco made reminded Y/N that he would never get comfortable with American girls calling him hot. “Ok. Have you found a date yet?”

“Chad from Econ asked me yesterday.”

“Is that why my seat was covered in glitter?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you going with him?” Draco’s hand was clenched tight in a fist in his lap.

“I think so,” said Y/N, steeling herself and deciding to just go for it. “But, of course, if you asked me I would say no to Chad. Just out of principle. I am supposed to be your tour guide, after all.”

The only parts of him moving were the few stray wisps of his hair being pushed around by the AC going. 

“But that’d be weird. I’d only expect you to take that up if you really didn’t want to go to the dance itself.” She swallowed and pulled out onto the main street, putting distance between them and the school. He was silent for a few moments. The quiet, normally comfortable between them, was stifling and strange. She pretended to ignore the way he was fiddling with his cuffs. 

“Yeah, it could be,” was all he said before slumping against the window and closing his eyes.

Mrs. Y/L/N was sitting at the head of the coffee table when the two arrived home, carding between a stack of letters in front of her. The mug of something--probably that new decaf blend she hadn’t stopped raving about--was sitting lopsided on a coaster, just barely about to topple off the edge. She looked like she hadn’t moved for hours, the novel she had been previously reading sat face down to preserve the spot next to her no doubt lukewarm drink.

“Hey Mom,” Y/N said as she set her keys down. “Anything good?”

She looked up, her expression morphing from startled to happy. “Other than the college brochures? Nothing, except...hm, what’s this?”

Her well manicured hand pulled at a crimson envelope, with sloping writing that seemed to shimmer in the light. 

To the Y/L/N Family, it read. The loopiness of the writing looked like it wiggled at the ends, but that had to be a trick of the light. It was dim in the kitchen during afternoons, after all. 

“It looks cool, open it u--”

“No!”

Draco’s voice had never sounded so loud as it did then as he lunged across the kitchen, snatching it out of her mother’s hand and clutching it to his chest. “Er, it’s for me. I recognize the handwriting.”

 “Cool, see you later,” said Y/N. She was up the stairs and slamming her door before either of her housemates could say another word. After the horrible embarrassment that was technically Draco’s rejection, she needed to be alone. 

Even burying her face into her pillow and squeezing her eyes shut didn’t keep the scenes from their car ride at bay. She had been so stupid, so stupid. Why did she even think he wanted that? He was her brother, after all. Oh god, does he think we’re all from Alabama or something?

She wallowed for a few more mournful minutes before deciding that she had to pick herself up and handle it like an adult. After all, she was going to be 18 in just a few months. There was no excuse for her to act like a child anymore. And, plus, it wasn’t like she couldn’t just play this off as a pity invite. Yes,that’s what she’d frame this as if he ever asked her about it again. She felt bad for him was all it was. 

Once satisfied with her internal dialogue, she rolled out of bed and made for the foyer where her bag was still on the table. She’d first walk on Legos barefoot before she had to let a stupid boy--especially one that didn’t know how to turn on their shower and had to ask for her help every time--come between her and her 4.0. Never.

Her thoughts were cut short, however, when she heard a new sound from his side of the hallway. She froze, listening closely. 

Draco was crying.

#draco x reader #draco malfoy x reader #draco imagine #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy #draco #draco x you #draco x y/n #draco malfoy x you #draco malfoy fanfiction #draco lucius malfoy #draco x oc #draco malfoy x oc

[eddielala]

Okay, I won’t sleep.

Here’s my goddamn summary and explanation of the meta. Because I have to say it.

1. They cut the ‘I love you’ scene . You know why? It was a hint that this episode won’t be about them.

2. We don’t know how long Dean was in the bunker and cried. We do know he didn’t pick up the phone the first time Sam called.

3. Dean arrives with the Impala. You can see he’s broken. And I really mean fucking goddamn broken. Jensen acted it very well and in character. He looks to the ground, he tries not to cry, his eyes flutter. He doesn’t realize what Jack and Sam are saying, you literally can see him thinking. Cas told him he loves him and died, that’s not easy to handle. Not for Dean, who’s still unsure about his sexuality.

4. “He saved me”. Well, he didn’t say ‘he loves me’. But ‘he saved me’ is the exact same thing for Dean, because he’s the man who doesn’t deserve to be saved. Saving him was Cas’ love confession and with telling Sam and Jack about it, he said ‘he loves me’. And come on, Dean talking about feelings would be out of character. We see a drunk Dean sleeping between beer bottles, that’s enough.

5. The dog is Cas. Not in person, but it’s kind of an incarnation. The angel with the puppy eyes, loyal, brave. Dean sees Cas in it and that’s the reason he falls in love with ‘Miracle’. He dies because of god and the moment of joy is over. Btw in the end you can see the dog again. Sooo, maybe Cas is on his way?

6. Adam is dead. It was only Michael and Adams body. And after Michael is killed Adam is gone forever. Maybe it’s a message because the fans always made fun that the writers and the boys forgot their brother. Now he’s gone.

7. The Cas call scene. You can see the desperate in Deans eyes. I already saw some posts about it and they were on point. The moment of hope in Deans eyes when he hears Cas’ voice, he jumps off and runs upstairs. That’s love btw. He wants so bad that it’s Cas, even he knows it’s nearly impossible.

8. Lucifers comeback. Maybe fan service? Mark was a brillant Lucifer. And we have the situation of the archenemies again: Lucifer and Michael, both with daddy issues. One last fight. And, surprise, Luci dies. The “good” one wins. Luci is now in the empty again... isn’t he? But I think his death is permanently. They wanted to solve the problem with the whole ‘in SPN nobody stays dead’ thing. But dunno, I didn’t look up the cast for next week’s episode.

9. The reaper. Well, I was in shock when she showed up. I really thought it’s Cas in a female vessel but it was just a reaper. Luci kills her, here’s new death. Well, they needed someone to open up the goddamn book. Wasn’t very exciting. And she was dead as fast as she was alive. I think the writers didn’t know how to open up the book otherwise.

10. The plan. What a rush. And how could god not know it? He’s omniscient? Hm... well, I think the most important scene was the one when Dean asks god to bring Cas back. The anger in his eyes, mixed with desperation. He would kill his brother, but Cas has to live. That’s character development, you can’t tell me otherwise. And that’s also plot development.

11. Michael’s death. Kill off and gone. Well, I think they had to get rid of him. But he died through the hands of his loved father. Could be a hint that daddy issues have to be solved and shows that Chuck is a goddamn son of a bitch.

12. Jack. Oh, he’s an adult now! I think it was the best what could happen to our baby. He always felt not strong enough and now he’s god. That’s a promotion! It was a good decision: Jack was not controlled by his feelings - sure he had bad days, but his wisdom was greater than god’s actually. The reason is that he’s half an angel. And he’s half an human. God made the angels the image and likeness of himself but he wasn’t satisfied by the result. So he created humanity the same way. Jack is a combination out of god’s objective, destructive side and god’s loving, emotional side. And both sides were always in balance, and that’s the reason he could be a energy - how did they call it - sucking hole without getting destroyed by gods and Amaras power. Because these powers need balance and Jack could give it to them.

13. God. God’s an asshole. And we know he represents the writers of Supernatural. When Chuck beats the shit out of Dean and Sam it’s actually a message: The writers harmed them so many times, the whole series is a fucking drama. It represents how they dealt with them, they send them to hell and back so many times. They tortured them, broke their hearts. That’s the last time the writers harm them so much. Because they - Chuck - looses his powers. Dean and Sam take over the situation. Dean and Sam represented and influenced by Jensen and Jared. And by the fans. The writers aren’t able to change them anymore. They are what we want them to be. Because they don’t have the power anymore.

14. The book. We see the white pages of the book. God can’t see what’s written there. The pages are blank. This means the writers are finished. They don’t have something to say anymore. The story got told and there’s nothing what follows. The pages are white and ready for stories from other people. Fanfics, fanarts, and so on. Chuck, the writers, tell us there’s nothing left to say. It’s over.

15. Dean doesn’t kill god. Chuck provokes Dean to kill him and Dean says to him, that’s not who he is. You remember Cas said it this to him, right. It’s not a love confession but something like this. He finally accepts who he is and that he has feelings and not only a raised killing machine. He accepts himself. Maybe that’s a good sign for the next episode.

16. Jack disappears. I know he’s family but for real: he found his happiness being a god. He will change the world. I already said why he’s perfect for this job. And his disappearance is... well, gives me a comfortable feeling. He’s in peace and he found his mission of life. And you can’t tell me he didn’t bring back Eileen and the others. We don’t know if he can bring back Cas out of the empty. But I think he would bring Cas back if he could. Maybe he couldn’t and the story gets told in the last episode. However, Jack did a great job.

17. The ending. Yeah, what did we expect? They already told us with the season’s posters that it’s about Sam and Dean. And only them. And I can understand why Dean seems to be happy there. They literally saved the goddamn world again. But I don’t think it’s only this. They are free now. That means they can become what they want - what the fans want because the writers lost their power. And maybe that’s a hint on Destiel being confirmed by Dean in the next episode. And they’re driving with the Impala but we don’t know where they will go. Hmm... and maybe Dean smiled because he had hope again? Hope to save his... boyfriend?! Don’t know, but he’s able to do it now.

So, maybe I’m too romantic but that’s what I think. I think we see Cas again and that they will be together. I don’t know and I don’t think we will get a love confession from Dean (I know, sad. I thought we get it). But I think there’s hope. Maybe - that’s only a theory - they don’t want to make it completely canon because they argue that the end should offer enough possibilities for the fans to write and draw and so on. I would be pissed if that’s the argument, I mean queerbaiting is real but we don’t know.

I don’t find an answer in the confusing statements of the actors and the crew. Misha said he’s not in this episodes, but he was on set. It’s canon, but Dean doesn’t reciprocate? What the hell? It’s a mess and they have to clean it up for the fans. They said it won’t be a ‘Game of Thrones’ ending and hell yes, I don’t want that. It would suck. Also they said the ending would make 30% of the fans happy - maybe that’s us. We’ll see.

Edit: Btw I wrote it before, I think it’s true that Cas gets more attention in the last episode because of the fact it’s the series finale. Cas wasn’t just part of the season and we know it was the season finale, he’s part of the whole series for years. So why not bring him back for the series finale?

#dean winchester #deancas #destiel #spn #supernatural #castiel #dean x castiel #spn spoilers

[bangtan-sonyeonddaeng]

Part 5

Summary: Soulmates have different ways of being connected to one another. Sometimes it’s through being able to write on their arms and having it show up on their soulmates. For others it was having their first words spoken to one another permanently tattooed into their skin. You had a unique connection with yours, one that you really hadn’t ever heard of happening before. Whatever song was stuck in your soulmate’s head was also stuck in yours and the same was for them. When Yoongi realizes one of his songs is playing on repeat in your head, he immediately takes to writing songs to communicate with you in hopes it will finally bring you two together.

Genre: Fluff. Just pure tooth rotting, sweet fluff.

Whew this was a long one. 4.5k words

Part 1     Part 2      Part 3     Part 4     Part 6

As you stepped off the plane you couldn’t believe it. You were finally in Seoul, the same city as your soul mate. That alone felt indescribable. It was a happiness you had never known. The past day was hectic. Trying to book last minute plane tickets and a hotel room. You didn’t even know how long you were going to be staying here depending on how well things went with Yoongi. You booked your hotel for a week just to be safe, knowing you could cancel if you absolutely had to. You considered coming alone, but your friend was very insistent that they go with you. You were traveling to a foreign country to meet your soulmate. Your friend wouldn’t miss this for the world, but also wanted to be there as a support and help in any way they could.

You arrived to the hotel and unpacked your belongings and immediately flopped down onto the bed.

“Jet lag sucks.”

“Indeed it does. I feel like I could sleep for the next 10 years.” Within moments your friend was snoring and clutching the pillow tightly. You giggled quietly to yourself and pulled your phone out to see if Yoongi had posted anything else. There were no new songs, but there was a new post from him. It was a selfie of him and oh gosh he looked so adorable it made your heart flutter. The caption underneath the photo just said “I can’t wait to see you.”

A bunch of army had commented underneath that they couldn’t wait to see him too. Their tour was starting in a little over a month. You knew what the real meaning was behind the photo. And you quickly typed a reply.

“I can’t wait to see you too. It’s such a short time away.”

You set your phone down and were about to try and sleep for a little bit when a notification went off. ‘I’m not Min Yoongi’ had sent you another reply.

Isn’t it late where you are at now? What are you still doing awake?

You glance at the clock and see that it is only 8:00 pm. You have a long way to go until morning.

Actually I am in Seoul right now. So it’s only 8:00 in the evening. Besides, how do you know where I live? You stalking me?

Ah no! no! You just um… always seemed to reply early in the morning here. So I figured it was late wherever you were.

Yoongi face palms. Smooth save, Min.

Ah okay. Makes sense I guess.

So what are you doing in Seoul?

Hopefully meeting my soulmate.

Oh! That’s exciting! I hope everything goes well for you two.

Me too. I hope everything goes the way I am thinking it will but.. we’ll see.

Well if you were traveling all day aren’t you tired? Shouldn’t you be in bed?

Yes I should be but I can’t sleep. I’m too anxious.

I’m sure your soulmate feels the same. But they would want you to get your rest and take care of yourself.

You’re right. I’ll try my best.

What usually helps you sleep?

Um.. well this might sound silly but I fall asleep easily to Yoongi’s songs and videos of him just talking? His voice is so soothing.

Huh.. I see. You like his voice then?

Yes. Very much. It almost feels like.. coming home after a long trip. Just that comfort of knowing you are home.

Yoongi blushes at this and the sweet compliments.

Maybe he’ll surprise you and do a vlive or something.

Hah, I can only wish.

After that you don’t get a reply. You do however, get a notification on your phone that Yoongi is doing a Vlive. You laugh to yourself as you realize that there is no way that account wasn’t him at this point. You pull out your phone.

You know for someone who isn’t Min Yoongi you sure called that one right.

It’s just a voice live, you hear his phone go off and then hear him quietly chuckling into the mic. You don’t receive a reply but don’t anticipate you will at this point. Yoongi says something in Korean to start that you don’t quite catch what he says, but then he repeats himself in English.

“I heard from some of you that you like my voice and it’s calming to you. Since it’s nearing the end of the night I figured this would be a good way for you all to relax and unwind after a long day.” You smile to yourself and put your headphones in, quickly drifting off to sleep. You wake up a few hours later. When you glance at the clock you see it’s after midnight. You groan and sit up, looking over to the other bed to see your friend completely passed out still. You’ve always envied how deeply they seem to sleep.

As you sit there, the anxiety begins to come back. How nervous you are is finally starting to settle in. What if he doesn’t like you? What if you don’t get along? What if he was hoping his soulmate was someone famous? Are you good enough for him? Your leg starts shaking back and forth before you can’t sit still any longer. You crawl out of bed and slip your shoes on, quietly heading out the door as you don’t want to wake up your friend. You walk outside into the fresh air and find that it is helping you calm down to be able to just walk.

You don’t know where you are heading, but you have your phone with you and can easily find your way back to the hotel with the GPS. You put your headphones back in and just walk. You are listening to the playlist you had made of the few songs Yoongi had wrote for you and continue wandering and humming along. After you listen to all of the songs at least once you come across a bench with a man sitting on it. You don’t pay him any attention and walk on by, lost in your own world. You don’t make it very far before you feel a gentle tug on the bottom of your shirt. You turn around and see the man looking up at you. His bottom half of his face is covered and he’s wearing a beanie and heavy coat. Clearly he doesn’t want to be seen. You panic for a second thinking maybe he was going to mug you before he says something to you.

“What?”

“Ah, foreigner?” You nod.

“I said it’s dangerous to be outside alone this late.” He repeats in English. Your heart nearly drops to your stomach. You know that voice. You’d recognize it anywhere.

“Yoongi?” His eyes widen at that and now he seems to be the one panicked.

“Shit.. Are you a fan? Please don’t tell anyone you saw me and don’t freak out and scream. I go out late to avoid people for a reason-”

“Yoongi stop. It’s me!”

“Am I supposed to know you? Please don’t tell you’re a sasaeng. Wow this is just my luck.”

“It’s y/n!” Yoongi freezes and drops his hand to his side and he looks a little angry if the way he furrows his brows at you is any indication.

“Funny joke. Haha okay what do you want? An autograph?”

“No I’m serious Yoongi it’s me! We’ve been talking on Twitter back and forth! Ah wait no I’m sorry that wasn’t Min Yoongi I forgot.” You say with a smirk on your face.

“I… There’s no way. Let me see your phone.” You pull it out and unlock it, then hand it over to him. He opens up your Twitter and goes to your notifications and sure enough, there’s your conversations. “Oh my god.. Y/n it’s really you.” He hands your phone back and just stares at you in shock.

“Um.. So… what-“

“No, no! Absolutely not! I did not spend all night writing that song about us meeting for the first time for you to just bump into me on the street. I refuse.”

“Yoongi! You can’t fight fate-“

“Like hell I can’t. Watch me.” He stands up and grabs you, turning your shoulders around to face away from him and gives you a gentle push. “Now you march your cute little butt back to your hotel and we can try this again tomorrow.”

“Yoongi, oh my god.” You burst out laughing and your shoulders begin to shake with you how much you are laughing. You can hear him chuckling behind you before his hands move down and wrap around your waist, pulling you into a back hug.

“You have no idea how happy I am to finally have you here. I have never felt so many emotions in my heart at once but they are all good and they are all because of you.” You let your hands move down and your fingers play with his where they are resting on your waist. “But I really want to do this right. So please. Let’s pretend this first encounter never happened. And I’ll see you tomorrow at the river.. okay?” You smile and nod your head.

“Okay, Yoongi. I’ll see you tomorrow then. Can we meet earlier in the afternoon though instead of the evening. I-“

“Ah! Nope! My song says a crisp autumn EVENING. Not day. You’re just going to have to be patient now go on then!” He lets go of you and you let out a giggle but continue walking down the sidewalk. You don’t miss the footsteps trailing behind you on the way.

“What are you doing? I thought you said you didn’t want to meet until tomorrow? Now you’re following me back to my hotel? Scandalous. We haven’t even had our first date and you’re already-”

“Yah! Shush. I just want to make sure you make it back safely. I wasn’t kidding when I said it’s not safe at night time. Pretend I’m not here.”

“Okay.” You smile the whole way back. When you reach the hotel lobby and turn around he’s already gone. Your cheeks hurt from smiling so much as you walk back to your hotel room. You open the door quietly and shuffle back in, kicking your shoes off and collapsing into bed. Your friend is awake now.

“Where did you go?”

“Just for a walk. I couldn’t sleep.”

“Ah, too anxious to meet him for the first time?” You laugh to yourself.

“Yeah, I was. But the walk really helped me. I think I am really ready to see him now.”

“Good! Now get some rest! We have a big day ahead. Well you do anyways. I’ll just be hanging around here anxiously waiting for you to get back and tell me every single detail of your first meeting.”

“Sure thing. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight y/n. I’m sure Yoongi is going to love you. You have nothing to worry about.” You roll over onto your side and before long you are about to drift off to sleep when a noise from your phone brings you out of your drowsy daze. You see it’s a notification for twitter. Yoongi, sent you a message.

By the way, you’re absolutely the most beautiful person I have ever seen.

You smile and your cheeks heat up, feeling a warmth in your chest as you finally drift off to sleep.

You don’t wake up until late afternoon. The jet lag, coupled with the anxiety you felt last night before meeting Yoongi and being up late had allowed you to sleep for a long time. You probably would have still been asleep if your friend wouldn’t have woken you up to go eat lunch. You don’t tell them that you already met Yoongi, having promised to pretend like it never happened and you intended to keep your word. You spend the day exploring the city, even going to the Line Friends store and picking up a few items to spoil yourself a little bit. You walk around and eat until it’s now starting to get dark outside.

“We should probably head over to the park now. I’ll ride in the taxi with you there but then after I drop you off I’ll head back to the hotel.”

“Wait why don’t you just wait for me? What if something goes wrong and-“ Your friend flicks your forehead.

“Y/n don’t start that nonsense. You two are probably going to be out together all night. Just text me and check in. Let me know how everything is going, alright?” You nod and hug your friend tightly.

“Thank you for coming with me, and pushing me out of my comfort zone. And annoying Yoongi with your horrible songs. If it weren’t for you I probably wouldn’t have met him.”

“Hmmm, yes you would. Fate would have made sure of it, but I will take the praise anyway.” Just then a taxi pulls up and you both get in. But when you arrive at the park only you get out. You wave to your friend as the car pulls away. The butterflies in your stomach feel like they are going to fly out of your mouth at any moment. You walk along the riverside, admiring the views and listening to the sounds of the crickets. You notice up ahead all of the flowers and your pace quickens when you notice Yoongi standing in the middle of all of them. He spots you and immediately starts waving. But you ignore it and keep walking. He stops waving and tilts his head in confusion.

“Y/n!” He yells your name but you still continue walking along the path towards him. “Are you going to say hi to me or not?!”

“Huh? Sorry do I know you?”

“Are you serious right now?”

“We’ve never met before. How do you know my name?” You are trying so hard not to laugh when it finally clicks with Yoongi.

“Ah yes you’re right. My mistake. Are you here to meet with someone?”

“Yes. My soulmate told me to meet him among the cosmos.” You say with a smile. Yoongi is absolutely beaming as he reaches down and takes your hand in his.

“Well then that would be me. I’m Yoongi. But you must have already known that if you heard my songs for you.” He brings your hand up to his lips and gently kisses the back of it. The shock it sends through you almost brings you to your knees.

“I’m y/n. It’s nice to meet you soul mate.” Yoongi’s gummy smile widens further before he pulls you tightly into his arms. His hug is bone crushing, making it slightly hard for you to breathe but there is no way you would ask him to let go. Your arms are around his neck pulling him impossibly closer to you. He nuzzles his face into your shoulder and you feel your sweater dampen. You pull away in shock.

“Yoongi why are you crying?”

“Why are YOU crying?”

“I am not!” But you know you are. You can feel the tears streaming down your face and your voice cracks when you talk. “Okay I definitely am.” You both laugh and reach up to wipe each other’s tears away. You spend a few moments with your hands gently ghosting over each other’s faces, wanting to commit the way it feels to memory and make sure that the other was actually there.

“I can’t believe you’re actually here. I never thought we would ever find each other. When I learned that our connections were through the songs we had stuck in our heads, I just lost all hope of ever finding my soulmate.”

“To be honest for a while there I did too. It wasn’t until I first heard your music that I knew. I just felt it immediately that you were my soul mate.”

“I felt that too. When I read your comments on my songs it was like every cell in my body was calling out to you. I just… God I still can’t believe it.” He grabs you and pulls you into another hug. You both stand there for a while, just enjoying the feeling of each other’s warmth. Yoongi is the first to pull away but he doesn’t let go of your hand as he leads you on a short walk over to one of the benches overlooking the river. You sit next to each other in a comfortable silence.

“I’m not dreaming am I?” He wonders out loud. You reach over and pinch his side and he jumps away from you with a startled yell. “What was that?!”

“Proving to you that you aren’t dreaming.” He begins to laugh at that and the sound still makes your heart race. “But I know what you mean. It still doesn’t feel real.” Yoongi sits back down on the bench and laces your fingers together again, resting his head on your shoulder.

“Okay I gotta know. What kind of music do you really listen to?” You let out a snort at this.

“All different genres. Definitely not most of the ones that were stuck in your head though.”

“And that was your friend’s idea?”

“Yes. They thought it would be funny to mess with you a little bit. At least show that I have a sense of humor so you at least had some idea of what kind of person I was.”

“Honestly I just thought you were a person with shitty taste in music.” You both laugh playfully at that.

“How did you get the idea? For the songs I mean?”

“Ah, Namjoon gave me the idea to talk to you through song writing. For the past.. hmm month or so? The guys have really been helping me try and think of ways to find my soulmate. I think they were tired of seeing me mope all the time. They all had found theirs so easily I was just.. stuck.” Your heart clenches, knowing that feeling all too well. You squeeze his hand as a comforting gesture.

“I know what you mean.” Yoongi returns your squeeze.

“But hey everything worked out okay in the end right? We’re finally here with each other. I want to know you better. I want to know everything. What you’re passionate about, what things you like and dislike. Where you’re from, about your family, what your childhood was like. What-“

“Whoa there. We have all night Yoongi there is no rush.”

“We um.. have more than a night though right? Like… I know we’re soulmates fated to be together and all that but you still have a choice. Do you want to keep seeing me?” Yoongi seems insecure and unsure of himself now as he plays with the rings on your fingers and refuses to meet your gaze.

“Of course I want to continue seeing you! Why would you think even for a moment I wouldn’t?” He sighs and tries to untangle his hands from yours but you just hold on tighter.

“Being in a relationship with an idol isn’t easy y/n… I don’t think you fully understand what all of this is going to entail. You’re never going to have a moment of privacy. Even when we go out together on dates someone is almost always going to figure out who I am.”

“Well no one has so far tonight right? I think you just need to wear a mask and hide who you are then it won’t be so bad. Especially if we go out at night or go to more secluded places. I know dating an idol isn’t going to be easy but I don’t care about that. I just want to be with you. I’ll take all the good and bad that comes with it.” Yoongi stops trying to hold himself back any longer. He moves his hand behind your head and tugs you in closer to him so he can finally connect his lips to yours.

The kiss is sweet, gentle but loving. It’s like he’s pouring the years of emotions he’s felt towards you into the kiss. There isn’t any sparks or crazy fireworks. Everything just goes quiet, and suddenly it’s like you two are the only ones in the world right now. Yoongi pulls away after a few short moments. Even for just a short kiss you both are a bit breathless.

“Wow. I didn’t know kissing your soulmate would feel like that.” He says in between breatths.

“Me either. That was… perfect.” Yoongi smirks.

“Perfect? Wow am I that good of a kisser?” You playfully smack his arm and he laughs. You two spend quite a while talking on that bench. Asking questions and getting to know each other better. The moon is hanging high in the sky and all the stars are shining on the two of you. The wind starts to pick up and you shiver. “Ah are you cold, sweetheart?” He takes his jacket off and drapes it around you, although you did feel your face heat up at the petname. You hope Yoongi doesn’t notice your blush and will just assume it’s because you’re cold. “We can go now if you want to.” You shake your head back and forth quickly.

“No! I mean.. I don’t want to leave you yet.” His expression softens at your confession.

“Well.. We can go back to my place? If you’re comfortable with that?” You wiggle your eyebrows suggestively at him and he moves away from you.  “Not like that!”

“I’m kidding, Yoongi! I’d love to go back with you. Even if we don’t talk at all. Even if we just sleep it doesn’t matter. I just want to be around you.”

“I’m glad you feel that way because I was thinking the same thing.” He stands off the bench and takes your hand to lead you over to the car that was waiting to take the two of you back to his house. You send your friend a quick update text, to let her know everything was okay and going well. They send you back a bunch of heart emojis and you slip the phone back in your pocket. On the way up to his door it doesn’t sneak past your notice that he hasn’t let go of your hand the entire time you two have been together.

“Do you like holding hands?” He blushes and looks away, busying himself with entering the code into the door so it unlocks.

“Um.. Yeah I do. Does it bother you?”

“Not at all. I love it actually.”

“Do you want any tea or anything to drink to help warm you up?”

“Mmm, no. I just need you.” With how much Yoongi has been smiling he’s beginning to wonder if his muscles are just going to be permanently stuck.

“Do you want to go lay down? Maybe watch a movie?”

“That sounds perfect.”

You are both laying down now, in his bed. You are actually laying with Yoongi, your soulmate. Your head resting on his chest while he was a tight grip around your waist. You are starting to fall asleep when you feel his grip suddenly tighten around you. You lift your head up to look at him.

“Everything okay?”

“Hmm? Oh yeah. Sorry did I squeeze you too hard?”

“No I just thought maybe something was wrong and you wanted my attention.” Yoongi shakes his head, but bites his lip as if he is thinking deeply about something.

“It’s not that I was upset or anything.. I just wanted to make sure that you were actually here. And that I’m not hallucinating, or just imagining all this. It still doesn’t feel real. I thought I had met my soulmate before. I was so sure but it turned out it was just someone using me for my fame.. And I was so desperate to just have that connection with someone that I ignored all the warning signs. And I know you aren’t like that. I know for 100% certain you’re my soulmate but…“

“But that nagging voice in the back of your head just keeps questioning things?” He nods in confirmation. You sit up and adjust yourself so you’re facing him. You take his face in your hands and make sure he is looking at you and can see the sincerity in your eyes. “I completely understand why you are worried. Believe me. But I would never do anything to hurt you. I would never use you like that. I promise that I am here, that I am real.” You grab his hand and place it on your heart. He closes his eyes and lets himself just feel. Your warmth, the gentle thrumming of your heart beat, the sounds of your breaths. It helps ground him.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. If you ever have doubts or are worried about anything you can always come to me. I want to be there for you.” Yoongi smiles that gummy smile that is going to quickly make you fall head over heels in love with him in no time if he keeps directing it at you.

“Thank you y/n.” He pecks your lips and then pats his chest for you to lay back down. Pretty soon your breaths even out and you’ve fallen asleep. Yoongi holds you just a little bit closer, and places a kiss to the top of your head. “I already like you so much and it kind of scares me. But I am going to give you my whole heart, angel. I hope you’ll keep it safe.”

“Don’t worry I will.” Yoongi jumps.

“I thought you were asleep!”

“I was but I am not that heavy of a sleeper remember? I woke up when I heard you talking.” Yoongi blushes but snuggles closer to you.

“Do you want to meet the other members tomorrow?”

“I’d love to! Can I bring my friend too?”

“Of course. You all are going to be a part of the family now we might as well all meet one another.” You smile at that and nuzzle into his chest. You both fall asleep quicker than you ever have before, finally feeling the comfort and safety of being in each other’s arms.

Tag list: @anoesjkaax​​​  @just-call-me-trash-can​ @thestral-balerion​ @xcastielbabyangelface​ @rukinamukami​ @r-e-d-i-s-h​ @heartblackerthancoffee​ @rosita7703​   @jacjacwashere​   @purpletigertaetae​  @woodstockisjustlikealittlekid​  @supernatural-bangtanboys​ @loveyoongles​ @barbikatherine​ @atulipandarose​ @bookluver01​ @cioccocalderoni​ @lyoongx​

@its-yagirl-raelynn it’s not letting me tag you :c 

#yoongi x reader #reader x yoongi #bts #min yoongi #suga #bts fanfic #yoongi fanfic #bts fluff #yoongi fluff #suga fanfic #suga fluff #bts soulmate au #yoongi soulmate au

[crackcrocs]

DEATH WILL ONLY BE THE BEGINNING #3

3. Transformation Central

the entities of my personalities would like to come together in one voice that speaks through me, we or I call this collection of words from the mustiest corners of my brain to this note page to voice something that might come close to what I feel underneath the skin I wear. In all my unorganised words- I might even go as far as to call this a poem, titled:

‘TRANSFORMATION CENTRAL’

sub characters in my head would appreciate if this could be visualised & understood through as deep a lens as humanly possible. even I confuse myself so if you can decode or relate to any of this, wonderful. If not, I’m locked in my own mind, swallowed the keys to my soul.

SIMILARITIES & INTERCONNECTEDNESS BETWEEN HUMAN & PLANT CONSCIOUSNESS EXIST! if you look closely at my nose freckles you’ll see the resemblance of the constellations above. if you look at the human veins & the layout of a tree, this is further proof.

{VISUALS THROUGH A SEPIA WINDOW STARING @ THE AUTUMN LEAFS; IMAGINING THE SEEDS UNDERNEATH, THROUGH NUMB ROOT VESSELS THAT PERMEATE THROUGH EVERY MEMBRANE OF MY EXTERNAL TO INTERNAL ENVIRONMENT}

~FEATURING THE VICIOUS CYCLE OF DEPRESSION & PERFECTIONISM.

here goes:

What is this part of my mind ?

If you want; delve inside-

I may look sweet like Alice,

but underneath it all

I deteste looking in the mirror

-cos I see the mad hatter.

my inner child needs a platter-

full of care not distortion & abuse pls.

less fibbin would’ve been a breeze.

now following the dead fish in the stream!

HOW on EARTH do I fit with the cod & the Haddock?

I’m the rainbow fish- beat & battered.

dim my own light cos I’m too afraid to shine.

alone.

thieves tried to steal my shiny scales.

I sat and watched them grow.

In the sea realm they were mean gargantuan selfish whales, with poisonous shark fangs & alligator tails. scorpion hands. (gremlins)

and still they make me feel like the alien-

I cant take it.

Make it make sense ?

I can’t.

controller in my hand-

Off balance stance.  

anxiously I move round like a wobbly jelly.

where’s the button to balance my chi & shut out the ego ?

the teLLIE telling lies to our vision!

change the channel aura terracotta orange- daily dosage of vitamin D & C.

catch me sun gazing by the sea

head buzzin like a bee.

speaking from a dusty box

stuck on top of a forbidden shelf

cos I dunno how else.

I’m tryna delve deep but forgot how to dive

How can i visualise? scenery foggy-

the establishment man with the glue gun got me xD

inner monk burning but at peace

Cos I refuse to believe

If the only way is the American dream

Interconnected; like the frog in science -let’s dissect it!

down to every floating atom spirit neighbouring your door

subcategories & divisions, it’s more!

than the rich and the poor -prism that’s been built

do we all feel like a performance monkey on stilts?

will my data be extracted & used to mould a robots personality some day?

well obviously not.

does the price of our lives all amount down to slave ways?

LABOUR YAY!

but morals & values it seems we’ve forgot.

sO If i don’t speak its cos I’m lost.

or maybe i’m enlightened-

Standing at the edge of the porch;

watching TRYING to understand how the flowers grow.

questioning eVERYTHING man made!

I’ve stepped out of the perfect picture frame

I can see the coal pollute the sky

I need to hop on the train-

but I’m comfortable

Sunset to sunrise statue standing still.

what’s the ingredients to life’s yucky pie?

I’ve exceeded mental lotteries.

Sanity n universal peace would be a trophy.

TIL then I’ll be crafting & shaping a solid pottery reality,

with a few pence, gum, and a bandana of belongings tied to stick.

thinking one day I’ll be laying the bricks

& building a kingdom of bliss.

guess for now I’ll use the intricate delicate materials in my tool box- that’s all I’ve got.

might have a long way- maybe worth a shot.

I observe, cruisin in the sky.

dunno why..

I jus look @ the hills.

Only time & history reveals.

no thanks mr men-

I don’t want your prescription pills.

there’s enough propaganda as it is.

I won’t jump on the merry go round-

til my core trusts & envisions we’ll actually feel safe!

I don’t want to take part in this faux fur, sweet nothings & a jack in a box punching blur, so called future.

oh and genuinely thanks quarantine-for once again, I can hear bird sounds!

guess this is me tryna speak out loud!!!...

it’s not thrilling

system  time killing everything-

mother nature’s oxygen

everything is nauseating

clock ticking, I better start creating.

they should write a book on how to be free when the system set us up to believe that we’re tied to the cut down trees that gives them a currency of greed that they breed.

If blindfolded, I don’t wanna eat what they feed.

Whilst they profit of us -tell us smile and the bandits don’t wanna see us happy.

they’re too busy robbing all our hoods.

In exchange for the silence, they’ve granted us with a 21’st century fashion garment of a slave muzzle! labelled conform.

More delusion to add to the already desensitised norm.

zootonic diseases, welcome covid 19 to your plastic kiddy tea party!- apologies for questioning your motive!

Been handed too many hot plates with a post it note saying HOLD THIS.

we’ll be okay just hush.

Same Shan message told to every generational seed.

If we don’t TRY overpower-

we’ll never succeed!

it’s getting even more scary.

Artificial intelligence.

Societal negligence..

my canvas isn’t clear-dunno am I schizo ?

finger painting, cos it makes more sense.

struggling to blend.

borderline conspiracist pretending to be fine;

moving the goal post, hovering above the race line.

who made the chalk? who set the lanes?

I wanna know it all, maybe¿ far past insane.

I can fit all I need in the palm of my hand,

Maybe even less! cut a finger off not sure it’ll even add stress.

hi from personality Peter, even sober- always away with the fairies.

Pass the pixie dust, I’m in a rush

Found shelter in the comfort of pan physicists timer, no not the one on your phone!

Ring ring, skeptical! is it my demon or my mommy on the phone?

I’m stuck in the airspace of an infinite glass filled with beach particles trying to form myself standing up still attempting not to slip through the hands of my very own discovery.

time is running out & ill go when I go.

I’m sitting inside the fly trap -

stardust, chakras can you feel the sensation colors like a starburst.

deep emotion is a curse.

still entrapped in the sand dune of nothingness-

flipping a domino monopoly of solidified thoughts as I sway with the wind.

I’m the trapped sandbox in the playground & the slipping sand in my own hands.

Inhale chronic but I wanna enter the quiet realm of white noise

-color of a wife beater vest, calmer than the ease in ignorance of a red neck.

sadomasochistic, messes.

but oblivion, seems like less stress.

Unfortunately I can see, with all eyes

empathetic paralysis, gets me vexed.

Punching truth into the core of your chest!

It’s not funny, neither is the one on the receiving end..

My limbs are numb

& im done playing octopus alchemy.

I want minimalism & life can be simple,

Evil entities have made it hard.

Maybe I’ve got stars above my head like an old cartoon character.

But I can’t make it make sense, are they out to get me. worse all of us? Or have I bottled myself tryna re mesh the broken shards,

I feel glued to the floor cos there’s a pretty price to pay if you want more.

I see life through a different lense, maybe born downside up, Benjamin button I came out the back door-

Outside looking in, digesting confusion.

Is to be a product of environment a sin?

rummage through my messy brain.

personalities sardine packed in this tin

I’m the wizard of my mania

Scaring & attracting the black crows-

they’re my friends.

Sometimes still a cowardly lion

Roaring pain & true riddles at the wrenching wicked witch posse of the west.

will my voice ever be loud enough to shed light wit my words and grate the sweet zest

In to the cake i’m baking?

Probably not.

Got more thoughts than the autumn leaves collected by the garden rake. alone.

gathering & storing the pains of yesterday.

sometimes I stay in line

Other times in my head Im on my hands juggling out of time.

but I really don’t mind if I lose or win.

we all have a pace

I jus don’t want the 1% to win the race.

It’s unfair!

Humanity does anyone care ??

Half lady

half fairy

Good  MOOrning-

from my anagrams.

no I’m not a cow.

twister fidget spinner brain in the flesh-

form of expression this time around lyrics.

feel I’m jus a silly rubix

& still mourning

I don’t like dairy

pass the oat milk.

Are you aware the industry are sabotaging our diets?

we want peace!

the powerful elite-

perceive & deceive

the scene they want us to be.

chuck the narcissistic psychopathic pie back in our face-

every time we almost found & addressed the Programme & Control man in the maze.

evil & extroverted- he said that the anarchists have to be the cause of riots.

working isn’t class. I said let’s switch roles- he said pass.

It’s piss! Who’s got the bomb & the guns?

Who got the land? off wit OUR heads 4 fun!

it’s pure scary.

Pharmaceutics handshake.

with the cooked up suppliers, also crooked wack liars.

I’d rather shot a gallon of bloody blubbery infused slaughter house milk

If it meant we didn’t use cocoons for silk.

why not add a drizzle of bleach to the concoction & maybe that’s a reach.

every time I guzzle fakeness, it taste peak.

I want real fruit, what next-

a seedless peach ???

what’s the difference between a weirdo & a freak?

layers & levels to the shit.

Magnifying tapping the window of society, I’ll be puffing green til I get to the land of Oz.

sponge soaked soaking up emotions

Suffocated by deduction of care in life

feel entrapped in this paradigm

what am I thinking ?

got the verbs & a cuppa tea

It’s mixed with torment & desire to be free.

I’d rather be awake than asleep

When I get too comfy I feel weak

Demons they reap

underneath

rip the seems as I bleed

Concrete

Solid

Emotions

Is all you’re getting

It’s all sad scenes in the imagery I’m setting

people need care we seem to be forgetting

why are we in debt wit

a posse of clowns

pay the price so we can get a frown

here’s some seratonin

quit ya moaning

life is all sound

aw yeh¿  if you’re not an over thinker!

product of environment- Sirius flickers

theyve done a ritual like it’s Wicca

now here’s your gold sticker..

for managing to co operate.

In this world fuelled off of evil n hate

waking ups a bloody disgrace

I am not amazed.

Man I love my fam n my friends

Just hate this part of my brain that feels the need to play pretend

sometimes I feel insane

but I’m calm

need to escape so I don’t do harm

Gold lioness in the sky by the sea

with puff the magic dragon

fire out my mouth, fuel helps me breathe

I will shine bright

Promise imma be alright

even tho I’m not sure why

I function like this

I wanna be myself

It’s just hard to find the comfortability

To feel happy and pretty

Lay me down on a bed of roses

Ring around sing about overdose emotions

Sorry dunno how to communicate

Heads in a constant debate

Should I go or should I stay

My head clashes

Burnin the next ciggy as my thoughts become ashes.

#LCZABIBU #deathwillonlybethebeginning

[shiroganeryo]

D.Gray-Man Tag!

I got tagged by my friend Violet to hop into this little game she made, and there are few things I love more than babbling about DGM, so let’s go! The rules are to tag three people to get the game going, so I’ll do it at the start because this will get looong. I’ll tag @14th-melody, @metzzi and @rudimentor0x0. Here’s the blank post. Sorry if you have already done it, I might’ve missed the posts ;;

⭐ What year did you first get into DGM? Hmm, actually, that’s a hard question because I didn’t get into it right away? If memory serves me right about what grade I was in high school when that happened, I was 15 - so, 2008. Pull a chair, I’ll tell you how that went. It was actually a recommendation from a friend of my best friend; we weren’t particularly close, I just knew he and I had a similar taste for anime/manga and I was looking for getting into a new series... but I wanted it to be worthwhile. So I asked my bestie if her friend wouldn’t give me a rec. He recommended me D.Gray-Man, and just like I do before watching any series, I watched the first opening to get an overall “feel” of it and I quite liked it: cool aesthetic, music was dope, characters were nice-looking. But, for some reason, I didn’t watch it and eventually forgot about it.

Then, one day on my way back home from school, I stopped by a nearby newspaper stand since here they also sell manga. They were all very cheap at that time, so I would often look for new volumes of the titles I was collecting (my allowance was enough to buy two or three!). I saw DGM’s first volume there, and went “oh! It’s that one series he had recommended me! I’ll take it and finally give it a shot.”

I fell in love.

I really liked it at first, but the point where DGM completely won my heart was during Lala’s arc. I had never cried with a manga before. 

⭐ Who’s your favorite character? This is probably very unoriginal, but it’s Allen! At the start I was very lukewarm about him, but as time went on, I felt like I could relate more and more to that kind-hearted boy and he became my role model. DGM has been with me through some of the worst of my life, and Allen’s resolve to keep going, keep walking, no matter how hard things were for him was what motivated me many times in past. It still does. Allen also taught me to be kinder and through him I realized being there for others makes me truly happy. Sadly, I also share with him the same trait of being unable to truly see how appreciated I am and all the good I bring others just for being there... But I’m working on that! He became the first character I felt like I could fully relate to, and I was surprised - but still very happy - to realize that, now that I’m an adult with more experience and maturity, I feel like I can understand him even more and better than before. Our connection didn’t wane with time, I feel so much closer to him now. He’s very special to me.

Standing at the second spot - because it’s also fair I would mention her -, is Miranda! I always say that if Allen didn’t exist, Miranda would be my number 1 since she stands so close to him hahaha After him, she’s another character I deeply relate with. My self-esteem isn’t the best out there so I’m quick to think I’m worthless or useless, just like her. Even so, she wouldn’t give up. Every time I felt like giving up because of auto depreciation, I would think “Miranda would try again, she would work harder”.

It’s like the two of them were walking me through the steps so I could move forward and keep doing my best.

⭐ Who’s your least favorite character? I’m going to say Chaozii. But, before we get to the usual “Chaozii slander” we’re used to doing in this fandom, let me elaborate. It has nothing to do with him not siding with Allen. As much as I love Allen, I know we’re able of sympathizing with his ideals because as the readers we have a plethora of information on his motives; if not for that, we would probably take the same stance as Chaozii has taken about him.

What riles me about Chaozii is that, unlike all of the characters, his mindset is either black or white, good or bad. Everyone seems to have a perfect mix of both, showing many facets just like, well, real, imperfect people. Chaozii is the only one who doesn’t have that. Being simple-minded is not a bad trait, but when that clouds your judgement, then it turns into a bad thing.

It all fell apart when he snapped at Allen when he refused to kill Tyki. That particularly bothered me a ton, even if I understand his feelings. Chaozii, who thought it was wrong and cruel to kill humans and was grieving for his lost comrades, was fine with killing a human whom he wasn’t even sure if was being forced to do things or not. Do you see the issue here? Chaozii never feels to me like he’s striving to do the right thing in order to bring justice, but instead, because he wants revenge.

I hope he does get to learn one thing or two in the future. He has potential to be a great character; but he needs a “redemption” first.

⭐ Who’s your favorite general? Tiedoll! Although I like all of them for different reasons. I really love Cross and differently from what some people think, he did care for Allen and I love their rather dysfunctional relationship. He’s a much deeper character than just a womanizer full of fishy shenanigans. He’s also really badass: former scientist, user of magic, (former) wielder of both an Innocence of his own and another person’s (Grave of Maria). I just happen to love Tiedoll a liiiittle more because I can’t take this guy! He’s just so sweet, and his doting nature makes him both funny and lovely. General Sokalo is really cool and all, but I feel like he’s just a cool guy to me. On a side note, General Klaud could step on me and kill me and I’d thank her. I hope we get to learn more about her Innocence sometime.

⭐ Who’s a character you would get along with? I would love to say it’s Allen, but he’s someone really hard to get close to. If I think about the characters I’d like to befriend because of shared traits or interests, I think I could get along well with Miranda, Krory, and Marie. The first two because they’re two softies who just happen to be really awkward, I feel like I would probably befriend them after trying to comfort them too often. And, the latter, because I’m a person who likes calm company whom I can have honest talks with.

⭐ What kind of innocence would you have? I honestly have no idea. If I had to pick one from the ones we already have, I think I would go with the Dark Boots. Being able to fly and maneuver in mid-air would be a dream come true, I feel the happiest when the wind blows against me. If I have to think of something “for me” specifically, I think I would like a long range Innocence. I particularly like firearm-like weapons like guns, so maybe a gun or dual pistols? Yeah, I think I’d really like the dual pistols.

⭐ What’s your favorite ship? Ah, to be in the DGM fandom is to be a multishipper; yet this is the part where I always get nervous at because my favorite is a rarepair. But!!! I’m building up the courage to be more open about (and less self-judgmental of) the things I like. It’s Allen x Miranda. I don’t really know when it started; from what I said before, you already know they’re both my top favorite characters and very special to me, so I naturally loved it when I saw them sharing screentime. When I realized it, I was looking at them and thinking “they would make such a cute couple together”. It just kinda happened.

To keep this short, there’s this blog I really like explaining about this pair’s dynamics. I think they have a great dynamic together and much potential. They could very easily have a wholesome relationship based in lots of patience and mutually covering the other’s weaknesses and helping them become someone better. These are the best kinds of relationships imo. I hope to share some of my headcanons for them (and even writing, hopefully!) sometime in here. I always picture Allen being older, so that gives me some free room for creativity; it doesn’t look like he has time for romantic love right now, and I don’t really feel comfortable with him being a minor for this ship, so both things go hand in hand.

Honorable mentions go to Link x Allen (again, older!Allen), Yulma and LaviLena, as I also get super happy when I see these particular shippings. 

⭐ What’s your least favorite ship? I actually have some, but it goes against my policies to publicly (consciously) say negative things about certain things if I can help it. I know I’m allowed to have opinions, but you never know who can stumble upon it and what I dislike can be something that makes someone really happy, you know? I tend to stay silent about such things when it comes to something as harmless as shippings.

So, I think I can say I’m accepting of everything as long as everyone respects each other! And, of course, if it isn’t distasteful (as in, illegal).

⭐ What branch would you want to be part of? We’ve only seen the European and Asian branches properly before but even if there aren’t many choices, this is still a hard question; I think both have lots of good things going for them. I think I would probably want to settle with the Asian Branch! I love how lively the atmosphere is and I also feel like there are way less science division shenanigans in there... Sorry, Komui. 

⭐ What’s your favorite arc? I have three! The Rewinding City arc came right after Lala’s arc - that had touched me a lot -, bringing in even more feels. It introduced Miranda and at the blink of an eye, made me care so much about her. The first activation of Time Record after she protected Allen, followed by his thanks to her hit so hard; I get really emotional talking about it. It was such a great, yet touching moment. I think everyone can relate to that; being worthy of receiving gratitude for something they did for someone.

Then, there’s Lulu Bell’s Invasion of the Black Order arc, followed by the appearance of the Level 4 Akuma. I can’t express into words how great the flow of the elements are there. The plot is focusing on multiple characters with their own background dramas happening, all at once, yet none of it feels out of place. Everyone gets their moment, everyone contributes to the big picture (saving the staff and defeating the Akumas). It all felt like one big collective effort of several parts uniting forces, no one was more or less important than the other. It was expertisely done.

And the last mention goes to the Searching for A.W’s arcs (Saying Goodbye to A.W also included). These arcs are being extremely painful but, at the same time, also extremely rewarding to go through. For the first time ever, we’re seeing Allen give in to his wants and acknowledge his feelings; he’s not honest with himself very often, and seeing him actually admit that he still wanted to go on - for himself -, that he still wanted to hold onto hope was something that I suddenly realized I had always wanted to see him do. It’s like I had been waiting for so long. Allen is growing up, and I’m loving to see the part Johnny and Kanda are playing in this. I could talk all day about how happy it makes me, to feel this much hope in the midst of such a difficult situation these arcs are covering. It captures very well the essence of D.Gray-Man imo: the bittersweetness of the hardships of life, and the good things it makes us realize we have had all along. The people we have by our side. The will to continue moving forward because we still have something we love and want to fight for.

Whew, I expected this would get long but guess I got too carried away; those were amazing questions to answer to! If you read until now, you have my most sincere gratitude and appreciation. I wish you have a lovely day! 😊

#dgm #d.gray man #d.gray-man #long text #tag #there are still asks in my inbox but I'll be tending to these sometime later! #I really don't want to spam you with long texts everyday #but I don't really like not elaborating my thoughts when I'm on to discuss something #added a read more not to clog your dashboards!

[alwaysonthemend]

Destiel Fic Recs (An extensive rec list of almost every single Destiel fic I‘ve ever read.)

NOTE

- This is a masterlist of all of my fic recs. They include AUs, SPN universe, codas, ficlets, schoolfics, and more!

- Works marked with (*) denote my absolute favorites.  

-This rec list is all Destiel (I'm a clown 🤡, sue me.) If you don’t like it, don’t read it. 

-Yes, many of these works are NSFW, but usually said scenes can be skipped without losing important plot info.

-This list will be updated whenever I find a good fic, though probably not regularly if I'm honest. (Life happens...)

-I DO NOT own any of the work found on this list, nor do I claim it to be my own; I am simply making this so that others can enjoy these fics as well.

-Please do not hate on anyone or anything. If you don't like Destiel, then don't read the fics. If you hate the author, don't tell me because I don't care about that drama. (Walk AwaaAYyaYAaa)

1. Twist and Shout****** by @gabriel and @standbyme Archive Of Our Own.

Thoughts- I'm sure that there is nothing I can say that you haven't already heard. Just read it. Suffer along with the rest of us. There's fluff, smut, angst (the holy trinity.) This is truly the best fan fic ever written. Period. 20/10.

2. 300 Things by @cautionzombies. (I can't find the original source so you'll have to try and find it on your own...)  

Thoughts- What's a Supernatural rec list without 300 Things? This really is an amazing fic and it is written so well!  

3. How A Righteous Man Raises A Rose by @swordofmymouth- Live Journal.  

Thoughts- This fic really took me by surprise. It's tagged as an AU, but I think you'll find that it's not at all what you think. The author effortlessly sets a mood of loss and regret, yet still gives the light a chance to shine through. I went into this fic thinking it to be an AU, and it was at first. But I soon realized that there was much more to this fic than what at first meets the eye. I shed a few tears over this one.

4. Cleanse the Mirror* by @takadainmate -Live Journal.  

Thoughts- Man, this one hurts, but in the best way. I read this fic a long time ago but lost it and couldn't find it for a long time. I am so glad that I found it and was able to re read. Just as enjoyable (if not more so) the second time. Dean gets a better understanding of what it's like being an angel. (And Cas is written so well in this fic! He's just like he is in the show. It's incredible!)  

5. A Hole in the World by @bauble - Live Journal.

Thoughts- This one just hurts and hurts and hurts. This is one that you'll just have to read and see for yourself. No happy ending. (You've been warned.)  

6. In the Shadow of Your Wings by @EnochianThings - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts- This is a really well written fic. There were several times that I almost forgot that I was reading a fan fic because the characters and story are just so well though out. It's a bit of a long one and is set in a (sort of) canon!verse.

7. My Throat is An Open Grave* by @inkandpaperqwerty - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts- This was one of the first fan fics that I ever read for Supernatural. This one is just so heartwarming, but not before plenty of angst and hurt/comfort. The author seamlessly puts Sam and Dean into a heartbreaking AU and it's all about the love that Sam and Dean have for each other. (NOT Wincest.)  

8. Thursday's Child* by @strangeandcharm - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts- All I can say is... Ow. Slow burn to end all slow burns, but so worth it in the end. This one is set in the End!verse (which I'm a total sucker for.) Dean and Cas are just so sad and I just want to hug them and make it all better. Imagine, Future!Dean's plan to kill Lucifer!Sam works and now he has to live with the fact that he killed his own brother, devil or not. And Cas has to come to terms with the fact that he survived the epic showdown, despite his belief that he wouldn't, and now has an addiction that he has to get under control. I love this fic and it really is a painfully slow read, but more than worth it in the end.  

9. Après by @imogenbynight - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts- Dean and Cas go to Paris... Need I say more? I love this fic because it addresses the crappy way that Dean always has Cas coming to him and how Dean needs to step up and realize the sacrifices Cas has made for him (shameless bias opinion... Sorry) All us Cas stans will really appreciate this one. Written well, characterization flawless... What else can you ask for?

10. Dean's Days Off* by @MittenWraith - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts- This is just the sweetest, fluffiest fic you could ever ask for. Reading it made me want to fall in love so badly it hurt. Cas and Dean just get some well deserved rest and quiet. I am absolutely in love with this fic and I'll read it over and over again. (Especially if I've had a bad day and need some happiness)

11. Unlit, Unmarked, and Forgotten by @awed_frog -

Archive Of Our Own.

Thoughts- This is a beautiful coda for 11x17. There's some Destiel if you squint. It's very sad but somehow manages a happy ending that renews your hope and brings a soft smile to your face.

12. Down Like Water by @museaway - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts- I really like this fic a lot. It is very sad with a lot of Hurt!Castiel but it does actually have a happy ending. Just grit your teeth and bare through the angst and sadness to make it to the beautifully sappy ending.

13. Till Kingdom Come* by @freckles_n_feathers - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts - This is a season 11 AU that was written before season 11 aired (the author actually somehow predicted things that were going to happen before they aired!!) This fic gave me really high hopes for season 11 that weren't quite fulfilled. I loved season 11, don't get me wrong (it's actually one of my favorite seasons) this fic was just so perfect and I wanted it to be canon so badly. (I re wrote this review like four times because I kept saying "actually" lol)  

14. 12x19 Destiel Ficlet by @Samanstiel - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts - This was written before 12x19 aired, and if you were upset with how things went down then this is the fic for you. The characters are written so well and it really feels like an actual episode.

15. Contrapasso*** by @takadainmate - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts- This might be the best fic ever (trumped only by Twist and Shout...) Inspired by Dantes Inferno and so beautifully written! I just... There aren't words. It's very dark, and the ending was not at all what I wanted (but after much thought, I realized that there couldn't have been a better ending.) I really got lost in this fic. I could see exactly what the author described, I could feel what the characters felt. This is true art... This is the fic we've all been looking for.

16. Put Up Your Dukes by @takadainmate - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts- This fic is by one of my favorite authors (who has featured on this rec list before...) Hilariously dirty. Dean and Cas are bone heads who can't make up there minds. Human!Cas is also a little sh*t and I'm living for it. There's some smutty times in this one... (which can easily be skipped if you're not comfortable without losing any important points of the story. {at least I didn't feel like I missed anything})

17. Then I Defy You Stars* by @speary - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts - So many tears were shed while I read this. The plot is just so amazing and a plot twist to end all plot twists at the end. It's full of sacrifice and love and angst and bittersweet moments. I love this fic (and I promise you will too.)

18. All the Nights by @NorthernSparrow - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts- This takes place after 15x03 episode "Golden Time". A bit of a fix it fic, but canon compliant to a point. I really love this fic (I love anything written by NorthernSparrow). Also a case!fic, which I'm always a softie for. Some big questions that I have since season 15 are addressed in this fic, and I absolutely love the way they are answered.

19. A Winter's Tale* by @NorthernSparrow - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts- Oh my gosh. So much Hurt!Castiel. There isn't outright Destiel but there is heavy DeanCas relations. This is a season 9 re write and it just hurts so much. If you can make it through all the pain, the happy ending makes it all worth it. Human!Cas just deserves so much better... Ahh! It's just so sad and perfect and awesome.

20. Give All My Secrets Away by @morganoconner - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts - This is a sweet little fic. Not particularly long, but oh so meaningful. Dean gets cursed and his soul is pushed from his body, leaving him vulnerable and scared (the author portrays the human soul in a very interesting way). Cas looks after him and it's just so fluffy.

21. Plot Holes* by @saltyfeathers - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts - Holy crap! This fic took me a whole week to finish and I enjoyed every minute of it! Every chance I got I would pull my phone out and read. I was rudely interrupted many many times so I just decided to finish it at night and stayed up until 2AM on a school night. (oops?) It's soooo well written and feels like an actual season of Supernatural. 12/10 all the way.

22. Someone Who's Feeling For Me by @ellispark - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts: Here's a fic to kick you right in the feels. I actually really genuinely enjoyed reading this fic because of how well the characters are written! Dean, Sam, and Cas run into Lisa Braeden post her mind wipe in season 6 and it brings up a whole bunch of drama for our boys. (While also helping Dean realize that she was never really the person he wanted to be with 😉) A bit of light smut and a bit of angst but definitely worth a read.  

23. Chalk and Chainmail by @angelwingsandthings - Wattpad.

Thoughts : Oh this one is so good... It's very angsty at times and Dean is a lovable dork who can't win no matter what he does and Cas is just a confused little assbutt who doesn't know what to do with himself. (So he's himself if we're being perfectly honest here 😂) There's some light smut but nothing too graphic. This one is a Highschool!AU, so prepare yourself for the delightful drama that comes along with teenage hormones. (And Charlie is a total QUEEN and I'm living for it. I love her so much.)

24. Remember When * by @VioletHaze - Archive of Our Own

Thoughts: Sooo... I've been on a bit of a School!fic kick recently. (Not a little bit. Like a lot a bit thb) This one is just so god da*n perfect (scuse my French) Dean and Cas have been best friends since fifth grade; they do everything together. Then some crap happens and they get in a huge fight junior year. Years later, they finally make it back to each other. (*Cries in fangirl*) Warning, it's sad, it hurts like heck. But there's also so many perfect moments. I promise you won't regret reading it. (And once again Charlie is a total queen and I would give my life for her. She deserves so much better... {SPN writers I'm looking at you.})

25. Everytown, USA by @aileenrose - Archive Of Our Own.

Thoughts : I've seen this fic on tons of recs but never really thought much of it. But I kept seeing it so I decided to give it a read and boy was it worth it! This is just a great fic that has plenty of fluff (And angst... Because what's a Destiel fic without sadness and pain?) Cas is a lot different from his character in the show but somehow the exact same? He's Cas, but it's like he's what Cas would have been like if he had grown up human. I just love him so much in this fic (and I want to give him a hug too... 😢)

26. I Through My Window by @dehavilland - Live Journal.

Thoughts: I've seen this fic on several recs and I finally got around to reading it myself. Some ample Destiel angst to hit you right in the feels. But I love this fic because it is incredibly motivating! Post season 5 canon-divergent and Castiel is permanently rendered human. Dean is a ginormous penis head and leaves Cas to fend for himself. Cas pines after him for a while before realizing that he doesn't need Dean to live his life. Cas stans will love this one. I just gotta include a quote because it's just beautiful. "No, I don't need you. But I want you."  

27. A Light for My Path* by @domesticadventures - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts : Oh my goodness. This fic is just... *chefs kiss* Told from the perspective of Cas' Continental. (A.K.A "Connie") Dean and Cas are having a difficult time figuring out who they want to be after the end of the last The-End-Of-Times-We're-All-Gonna-Die, but they figure it out together. There are plenty of Impala!pov fics (and even an actual episode), but I don't think I've ever come across one from Connie's perspective. Definitely worth a read.

28. Named* by @RC_McLachlan - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts : Hooo boy. This fic.... This is a complete season five re write and I LOVE IT. It's pretty angsty, but it also has some funny times thrown in. Dean is a sassy girl the whole time and I love him so much. And the plot twist at the end literally blew my mind. (brains splattered on the ceiling and everything.) 12/10.

29. And Even In The Quiet Night by @KelpietheThundergod - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts: Okay, this one is pretty sad. Not full on angst, but more fluffy sad. (If that makes sense...) Dean wants to celebrate Christmas but no one else seems interested. I just want to wrap Dean in a blanket and sing Hey Jude until he feels better! But don't worry, an absolute beautifully written cliche and sappy ending will make up for it.

30. Just More of the Same (*??) by @outpastthemoat - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts : There really aren't words to describe this series. It's just so fricken bleak but beautiful at the same time. I really don't know how to describe it. Read it, the only regret is that it ends. I honestly hated how it ended, so unfullfilling. But, that's life sometimes, and I think that's the whole point of the series. I don't know if I love it or hate it but there's no denying that it is absolutely beautifully written. 12/10

31. the cost of a thing**by @quiettewandering - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts: Hooo boy! This is a great fic! Fake marriage? Check. Slow burn? Check. Case!fic? Check. Fluff and angst? Check. This fic has it all. This fic kicked me right in the feels. My gosh, beautifully written and the characterization is FLAWLESS. But trust me, bring tissues as you watch Dean and Cas, slowly, painfully, but surely heal the trust that was shattered between them. This is an AU for season 8 in which Dean was the one who undertook the trials, not Sam. Dean is dying and there's nothing Sam and Cas can do to stop him, especially since Dean is insistent on just giving up and accepting his fate. Cas can save Dean's life, but at what cost? Surely a terrible one... Angst insues. 10/10.  

32. I'll Dig a Hole and Pull You Through by @JoCarthage - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts: If yall hated the DeanCas interaction in season six (didn't we all...?) then this is the fixit!fic for you. In this fic, Dean helps Cas defeat Raphael. And boy, there's some flangst. (Also Dom!Cas is a thing 😏)

33. Stitches by @Askance - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts: I wouldn't exactly call this a fixit!fic, buuut it is a sort of fixit for season 7. (Except Cas gets hurt, which I hate. {So does Dean...}) Cas survives the Laviathan taking over his vessal but is rendered blind. Sam and Dean have to take care of him. Loads of whump and hurt/comfort. Definitely shed a tear or two (or twenty.)

34. The Way Out* by @awed_frog - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts: *fangirl noises*. I hate to say this, but OMG! This fic blew my frickin mind! The time line is very confusing and the author gives you a way to read it in chronological order, but it's worth it to read the way it was published. Everything starts making sense around the third to last chapter and it is glorious (-ly sad and angsty.) But there is a happy ending and it's soooo worth it. First timetravel!fic I've ever read and it did not disappoint.

35. What is Hidden, What is Seen* by @ExpatGirl.

Thoughts : Wow! This is a pretty long fic but so worth it. The author joked several times about the fact that the fic is longer than her Masters thesis. This is a complete season 11 re write and I LOVE it. It's got some beautifully written OCs, Crowley, Rowena, and a certain someone who needs to come back canonically. (Again, looking at you Spn writers...) This is just written so well and the author was able to put in small Easter eggs the whole way through just like any real season would. Some light smut but nothing too graphic, angst (Hello, my name is angst but you can call me Destiel.) There's even some humour in here too! All in all, an absolutely beautifully written fic.

36. And This, Your Living Kiss*** by @opal_bullets - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts: Okay, first off, insert fangirl screams here! I LOVED this fic. (And not just because I'm a clown {which I totally am} but for some personal reasons I'll elaborate on in a sec...) This is an amazingly written, thought-provoking, and heartwarming fic to read. I loved it especially as it featured poet!Dean which I don't find a lot of. Now, I particularly liked this fic because it really hit home for me. The author described exactly how I feel when it comes to poetry. They described how poets often write best in times of sadness and misery and how we often stop writing because we are destroying ourselves in our own heads and can find nothing to write about when we finally allow ourselves to be happy. The author puts it perfectly in this fic. Not only did the fic make me rethink some of the opinions that I've had on poetry writing for years, but it also inspired me to pick up my pen again after not writing for almost a year and a half. So, thank you to the author for getting me back into writing poetry. (I can't thank you enough! ❤️) Please read this fic yall!  

37. What We Remember by @Tiro - Fanfic.net

Thoughts : (Not Destiel btw) Oh my Chuck. This is soooo sad. Some nice emotionallyscarred!Dean for ya. It starts out so unassuming too! Totally blindsided me with the angst. But also some brotherly love between Sam and Dean. Definitely worth a read. (P. S, I'm writing this from the floor of my room while I sob in fangirl.)

38. More or Less by @schmerzerling - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts - Oh my goodness this is such a great fic. Lots of emotional angst and trauma (Just the way I like it.) This fic is so amazing and I loved every minute of it. There are so few stutter!Dean fics out there. This fic is unfinished and hasn't been updated since 2016 but I think it is still worth a read. The point at which the fic is left off has no immediate cliff hangers so I think that the fic can still be appreciated as is. Definitely worth a read.

39. Every Part of the Animal (*?) by @Askance and @Komodobits - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts - I hate this fic. I hate how dam* near perfectly written it is. I hate it for the hours I spent crying. I hate it for the hope it gave me before ripping it away like it was a game. This fic was recommended to me on a group chat. I was warned. I was warned that it was a terrifying, horrific, and heartbreaking fic. What did I do?? I read it anyway. (Shocker, I know...) This fic is genuinely terrifying. It's horrific and I have to say, READ THE THE TAGS. Beautifully written, as to be expected by the authors. (Both of whom have featured on this list before.) This is a case fic gone horribly, horrifically, disgustingly wrong. 10/10 would recommend, but be warned: there is NOT a happy ending.

40. Hautley's Bend **** by @ColdInTheStudio - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts - Okay! So, first of, if you aren't into long fics this is absolutely NOT the fic for you. A whopping 42 chapters, all masterfully written without a flaw or typo in sight. I LOVE this fic with all my heart. I mean, I'm an absolute clown when it comes to Highschool!AUs, but this fic is just... *chef's kiss. * This is the Highschool!fic you have all been wanting. It's got angst, it's got fluff, emotional trauma, not to mention some fan favourite characters. (Gabriel, Charlie, and Kevin to name just a few.) But you should check out the tags before reading as there's some heavy stuff dealt with in this fic: Dean is not a very nice person at the beginning of this fic. There's also underage drinking and detailed substance abuse. Self harm is also pretty prominent in this fic as well as some A+ John Winchester parenting. But the pain is so, so worth it. Bring tissues!

41. Stay With Me, Sweetheart by @MandalaRose - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts - The fluff is too much! I mean, we got firefighter!Dean saving Cas' life! (For Chuck's sake...What more could you ask for?) Also some single father Cas caring for a baby Clair, so some cute daddy!Cas for your troubles. So sweet and heartwarming and a very happy ending. 10/10.

42. Season Z*** by @Castielslostwings, @CR Noble, @cutelittlekitty, @EllenOfOz, @fangirlingtodeath513, @heylittleangel, @jscribbles, @MalMuses, and @son_of_a_bitch_spn_family - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts - So you might notice that there are LOTS of authors listed above and they all came together to create something beautiful. They started publishing chapters right after the season 14 finale and published a chapter every week until the season 15 premier. This is, essentially, a complete season 15 re write. It is masterfully done! Team Free Will vs. a zombie apocalypse. Also, lots and lots of old faces all brought together to save the world one last time. There's some heartbreak, some love, some smut, some fluff. (Also some Samwena to make everything even better.) 22 long chapters, each feeling like an actual episode, made this fic seem like an actual season. (And I wish the writers would steal from this fic's finale and make some... stuff... finally canon.) Truly a timeless Destiel masterpiece.

43. Something about Pinneaples by @lizleenimbus - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts - This is an EXTREMELY adorable little DeanCas ficlet. No angst, no Big Sad ™, just sweet sweet, tooth rotting Destiel fluff.

44. Last Night on Earth by @the_communist_unicorn - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts- Sooo, I'm sure we all remember that disastrous night out, when the first big ol Apocalypse was gearing up, and Dean found out that Cas was an eons-old virgin... And I'm sure we all remember the disaster that was Cas and a prostitute. Anyways, here's what might have happened if Dean had taken a bit more of a... hands on approach. 😏 The chapters are all episodes that took place after the season five episode "Free To Be You And Me" and how they would have unfolded had Destiel become canon. I will warn you, their is smut (easily skippable) and there is DEFINITELY some angst. The whole thing is capped off with a bittersweet alternate ending to season five finale "Swan Song." I can't say much else without spoiling the ending, but all in all it is a very good fic to read.

45. Painted Angels *** by @WinJennster - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- HOLY FRAHOLY. I love this fic. A beautiful take on the classic trope of "We Had Something Good But I Ruined It, Now I'm Gonna Show Up Twelve Years Later And Try To Fix It... Also You're Engaged To Someone Else. Oops?" But seriously, all joking aside, this is an awesome fic. Painter!Dean x Writer!Cas, a match made in Heaven. (Hehe, get it? Heaven? Sorry I'll leave.) HOWEVER, do please be mindful of the tags. There is mentions of suicide and a couple paragraphs describing a rather grizzly accident to one of the main characters. Also, some lovely A+ John Winchester Parenting ™ and several instances of homophobic language. Still, this is an amazingly written fic and I can't stress how much I enjoyed it.  

46. Forgotten *** by @NorthernSparrow - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts- So, first off, I have to talk about the author for a little bit. I have read every single fic by Northern Sparrow and EVERY SINGLE ONE is a friggin masterpiece. The amount of research and backstory that goes into these fics is truly awe-inspiring. Northern Sparrow leaves no plot holes, no mistakes, no typos, nada. Now, the actual fic in question is no exception. While not particularly a Destiel fic, it can be taken as pre slash. There is a sequel, a Destiel version and a non Destiel version, called Flight that I am currently reading as well. (The Destiel version of course 🤡) There is some serious whump and angst here, both physical and emotional. This fic is a canon divergent from around mid season 9, in which there is no Mark of Cain and is a continual re write of the season. Cas goes through a lot in this fic (my poor baby) and Dean and Sam go through some gnarly stuff as well. This is such a good fic, I really can't stress enough. I wish I was half as talented as Northern Sparrow is when it comes to writing stories. I promise, you will NOT be disappointed. 12/10

47. All is safely gathered in by @randomdestielfangirl - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- Here is a cute little coda for season 12 episode 6, “Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox.” It’s mostly Mary-centric and her understanding of the Dean/Cas relationship. I’ve always had a soft spot for season 12 codas where Mary sees that Dean and Sam have grown up. (Especially those that have DeanCas in them.)

48. Bring Up the Deep by @deathbanjo - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- Here is a pretty cool case!fic with eventual Destiel fluff at the end. The story line is a little heavy and dark, but nothing more than canon-typical violence. This involves Sam, Dean, and a human Cas traveling to the beach to investigate a “sea monster.” Fair warning, there are moments describing Cas’ depression and struggle with figuring out who he is and who he wants to be, but again, not as bad as season 9... (STILL not forgiving the writers for that fiasco.)

49. Hazy Shade of Winter by @GeekPrincess - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- Here is yet another case!fic. This one has Team Free Will and Mary teaming up to solve a case in rural Wyoming in the middle of winter. It takes place not too long after Mary’s resurrection and Sam being freed from the British Men of Letters. At first it seems to be just a normal case, but per Winchester fashion, someone ends up getting attacked. Definitely worth a read.  

50. A Little Old Fashioned by @theheartchoice - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- Another coda, sorry... (I’ve been going through a faze) This one takes place in the aftermath of 14x13 episode “Lebanon.” I was disappointed that Cas didn’t play that big of a role in the 300th episode. I thought for sure he would considering he WASN’T EVEN IN THE 200TH EPISODE. *Clears throat* Umm, ya. Just some Destiel fluff of Cas taking care of Dean’s wounds the old fashioned way after John’s departure.  

51. Same Deep Water by @braezenkitty - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- Team Free Will heads to California to investigate a string of mysterious deaths in a supposedly haunted hotel called the Brookdale Lodge, nestled in the redwoods of Santa Cruz. I particularly enjoyed this fic because it has a definite early SPN vibe. Very creepy and eerie and reminded me a lot of No Exit (2x06) and Playthings (2x11). Also a bit of flirty!Cas and jealous!Dean.  

52. Looking for a Sign* by @emwebb17 - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- THIS FIC... is sooo adorable. Holy Chuck. Dean meets Cas on his bus ride to work and tries to talk with him. Not realizing that Cas is deaf, Dean just assumes he’s being ignored and goes out of his way to get Cas to interact with him. After weeks of no response he finally realizes that Cas can’t hear him and so Dean offers that they start over with their acquaintanceship. Dean meets all of Cas’ friends and they quickly grow closer and closer. They would be perfect for each other except Cas refuses to date hearing people. (Also, bonus points for the pun in the title.)

53. Peanut Butter-Pumpkin Wedding Cake by @Sparseparsley - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- I’ve seen this fic on so many rec lists and I’m so mad that it took me this long to finally read it. Bartender!Dean meets Cas at a bachelor party and they hit it off right away. Then, when Cas’ car breaks down, Dean offers to drive him around to make preparations for the upcoming wedding. Dean has a massive crush, but thanks to Dean’s remarkable ability to jump to conclusions, he thinks that Cas is the one getting married in 2 weeks. Read it just for the sake of watching two idiots dance around each other for weeks on end. They aren’t fooling anyone but themselves.  

54. My Marble Guardian by @LadyDrace - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- Bring tissues cuz this one hurts like a season 12 finale. (Heh. I’m hilarious.) Dean is killing himself trying to support little Sam after their parents die. Dean is close to ending it all and takes to talking to the marble angel statue that sits by his mother’s grave. I can’t say much else without spoiling the ending so you’ll have to read it yourself to find out how it ends.  

55. The Law of Equivalent Exchange** by @awed_frog - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- Holy crap! This fic is truly amazing. @awed-frog is one of my favourite authors of all time. (And has featured on this rec list before.) This fic follows Castiel caring for his ward, a man who will one day be called Dean Winchester. Follow Cas through Rome, Greece, Paris, Russia, Germany, and more as he guides the impossibly bright soul that Heaven claims will one day save them all. In other words, Cas is sent to earth to watch over Dan, son of Enoch and continues to do so until January 24th, 1979, the day Dean Winchester is finally born. The fic then becomes canon-compliant all the way until season 11, then stems into a canon-divergent for defeating Amara. All from Cas’ POV, we see how he went from being Castiel, Angel of Tears and Thursdays to Cas, Angel of Dean Winchester. 12/10.  

56. A Way Back Home* by @thatpeculiarone - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- Another AU with deaf!Cas. Dean is a lonely bakery owner whose past is full of heartbreak and loss. He meets Clair Novak, a mute girl who has no one to talk to, after Jody suggests that they meet. Neither are too keen on the idea at first, but they soon discover a perfect remedy for their predicament. Dean loves to tell stories and Clair loves to hear them. Dean has a story for every pastry in his bakery, and Clair soon realizes that all of Dean’s stories seem to revolve around one person. After finally discovering why Dean always looks sad when no one is looking, hates Valentines Day with a passion, and only ever talks about his best friend in the past tense, Clair is determined to help Dean get the happily-ever-after that he never got to have.  

57. Such Familiar Magic by @saltnhalo - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- This fic was inspired by the artwork of very talented @lizleeships here on Tumblr. This is the first witch AU I’ve ever read and it did not disappoint. Cas is a reclusive witch with unimaginable power and Dean is one of the most powerful familiars in North America. Both of our boys have some dark secrets and ghosts from their pasts threaten to separate the two for good.

58. I'm fine by @lizleenimbus - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts - Can I just say, WOW. This one is yet another small ficlet to go along with @lizleeships artwork. This fic, despite its short length, is so potent and amazing! The writer effortlessly blends the canon SPN with the world of Destiel and I am LIVING for it. The somber and quiet nature of this fic makes it an excellent read for a late at night fanfic session.

59. The Shadows on his Shoulders by @lizleenimbus (Yes, I know. Two in a row... I don't care.)- Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts - Okay, first off, @lizleenimbus has become one of my favourite fic writers EVER. This fic is canon compliant (sort of) for season 6, just when Dean is beginning to figure out that something is wrong with Sam. (In the soul department, that is.. .) This here is a wingfic to end all wingfics. I love the writing, the characterization, the plot, everything, just... *chefs kiss.*

60. The Care and Feeding of Castiel by @MalMuses - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts - Soooo, another wingfic!! (No, I don't have a problem. YOU have a problem...) I am a total sucker for wing!grooming DeanCas fics. I just, gosh! I love them so much! I love this fic more every time, no matter how many times I've read it before.  

61. Asunder by @rageprufrock - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts- Now, listen here lil clowns. Everyone loves a good "I need a plus one for my brother's wedding" trope and this here fic is the perfect one. And if you don't love it, this is absolutely NOT the fic for you. Sam is getting married and Dean doesn't want to go to it alone, so he enlists the company of his best friend Cas to go with him. Shenanigans and misunderstandings ensue, topped off with a healthy serving of meddling family members. A great rainy afternoon read.

62. Good Call by @sysrae - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts - First, please be mindful of the tags as Dean meets Cas by talking him off of a ledge. However, despite the horrible start, this series is still incredibly fluffy and sappy. It also has Therapist!Benny being exasperated by Dean and Cas' utter stupidity around each other. This is a very heartwarming fic that balances the angst with fluff perfectly.

63. 'Tis but a Crush by @Annie D - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts - Here is an awesome little meet cute modern AU fic! Cas notices that a man with startling green eyes stares at him whenever they are together. Cas is interested immediately but the green eyed man seems too shy to approach Cas. Fluff and awkward moments soon follow.

64. Where There's Smoke, Theres Fire** by @OsirisApollo - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts - So, first of, I am absolutely in LOVE with Firefighter!Dean. Cas is an ER doctor who meets Dean after the fire alarm in his apartment building goes off. Cas manages to make a fool of himself but is comforted by the fact that he'll never see the attractive firefighter again. Boy, was Cas wrong. The two men seem to run into each other practically everywhere, and no matter how hard Cas tries, he always seems to embarrass himself with every meeting. This fic was responsible for making me squeal aggressively at 2 AM. 10/10 Destiel fluff.

65. Forget - Me - Not -Blues*** by @noangelsinthegarrison - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- This is a fic that I go back and read over and over again. It’s got a perfect balance of fluff and angst, misunderstandings, and a healthy dose of clueless, meddling family and friends. Bottom line is, Sam is getting married and Dean is going to be the best man. He’s thrilled, until he finds out that Castiel Novak is Jess’ honorary Maid of Honour. Dean and Cas had a... something or other back in high school. Dean would ask to be friends again but Cas is intent on pretending that they never knew each other in the first place. Misunderstandings, awkward moments, and an obscene amount of embarrassment ensues, no thanks at all to the “tradition” surrounding the Maid of Honour and the Best Man. 10/10.  

66. Ignore the Butterflies: Best Friend Advice from Dean Winchester by @impatient14 - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- Okay, this one has practically every romcom trope out there... AND I AM LIVING FOR IT. (*Clears throat) Ya, soooo. Doctor Cas and Firefighter Dean are friends. Best friends actually. Totally platonic bros. A bromance for the ages. The broist bros to ever bro. That’s it. No homosexual feelings to be found here. None at all... Or so Dean tries to convince himself.  

67. Prosopagnosia by @misseditallagain - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- Man, this fic is really adorable and quite heartbreaking at times. Cas has a cognitive disorder that means he can’t ever remember faces. He’s given up on finding love until he meets one Dean Winchester, but he’s afraid to tell his hot date the truth about his condition. Assumptions are made and misunderstandings threaten to tear the two apart for good, but maybe there’s a chance for these two after all.  

68. Midnight Blues AKA To Hell and Back (Courtesy of Sig Sauer) by @outofminutes - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- As we all know, I am a glutton for damaged!Dean being cared for by Cas. Dean is a war veteran. He’s been discharged for five years but he hasn’t dared to go back home until now. He’s not the same person he was all those years ago and the constant haunting of horrors past threaten to tear him apart. Thankfully, he’s got a loving family and a new friend (Hehe. Guess who. Sorry, I’ll leave) to help him pick up the pieces.  

69. Scars by @lemonsorbae - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- Okay, first off: WOOOO 69! NOICE! OKay, I’m done... So, this fic stands out to me for the writers unique take on some popular tropes. Dean is a tattoo artist with green hair (Insert Priestly from Ten Inch Hero here.) and Cas is the stereotypical hipster. They don’t get along very well at the beginning of this fic. (Which is a HUGE understatement btw). Then, a drunken party leads to certain... unsavory actions, and both swear that it will never happen again. And that’s a total lie. Lots of smutty times in this one so be warned, also references to past trauma for both of our favourite boys so please mind the tags before reading.  

70. The One Thing You Can’t Lose by @MajorEnglishEsquire - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- This is just a cuddly, tooth-rottingly fluffy little ficlet for some happy DeanCas feels. Warning: Do not read in public place for there WILL be squeals.  

71. The Ugly Sweater Verse by @nerdylittledude - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- I know, I know. Everyone who’s ever read Destiel fanfiction has heard of the Ugly Sweater Verse. I don’t care! I’m reccing it anyway. A newly human Castiel wants to experience every holiday to its fullest, dragging Dean and Sam (But mostly Dean) along with him. This is an AU for after season 5 in which Sam is alive, Cas is human, and Dean finally gets his head out of his ass. (With a little... okay a lot of help from the rest of Team Free Will.) This is an awesome feel-good Verse that is always nice to read after a bad day. There is a prequel to this Verse that is stand-alone, but you don’t have to read it to get the rest of the Verse. (Also, if you’re only looking for fluffy times then I wouldn’t recommend reading the prequel. You have been warned.)

72. Cats and Tats by @Jemariel - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- This here is the quintessential Coffee Shop AU that no one asked for (Well.. I asked for it. I’m lonely dammit)  Cas owns a coffee shop that is right next door to a tattoo shop owned by our own Dean Winchester. Dean doesn’t like the pastel coffee shop because it totally ruins his badassery vibe, and Cas doesn’t need another distraction like Dean, and poor Sam never gets a moments peace.  

73. Moving On by @BruisedCastiel - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- Castiel is a witch who reads fortunes for a living. One day he gets a customer named Dean whose reading has a shocking outcome. Not too much later, Dean’s ghost comes looking for Castiel seeking answers. This fic starts out pretty sad and things look hopeless for Dean and Cas but don’t worry! There’s a happy ending.  

74. Into the Fire** by @NorthernSparrow- Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- I’ve mentioned on this list before that NorthernSparrow is my favourite fic writer of all time. And their work has been featured several times on this list before. Now, be warned. This fic gets VERY dark VERY quickly. Dean, shortly after the Mark of Cain is removed, is cursed and he kills Cas. The trauma of the Mark, the guilt he feels for killing Cas, and the looming threat of the Darkness sends Dean into a mental breakdown. Sam, mourning the loss of Cas himself, is left to try and put together what is left of Dean’s sanity AND to come up with a plan to defeat the Darkness. Sam and Dean, with the help of several allies, come together to save the universe once and for all. This is a full AU starting sometime in early season 11 and finishes all the way through the end of the season. There is a lot of sadness and guilt in this fic, so please be careful going into it. Bring tissues. I cried gratuitously throughout this fic. But don’t worry because THERE IS A HAPPY ENDING. Bonus points for TrueForm!Cas. 15/10.  

75. There’d Be No Distance by @imogenbynight - Archive Of  Our Own.  

Thoughts- Just a short, feel-good, fluffy Christmas fic for ya. Cas is lonely on New Years because he assumes that he won’t be welcome to the family get-together. But don’t worry! Dean sets the record straight with his angel. (Well...Not straight but... you know what I mean.)  

76. Imperfect Proposals by @Fallen_Angel_Meg - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- Okay, so, Cas is a total jerk at the beginning of this fic. He’s demanding, arrogant, cruel, and just rude to practically everyone who works at his firm. Dean is his new assistant and needs this job if he’s ever going to make it as an architect, but Castiel isn’t making it easy for him. Things get more complicated when Cas is threatened with being deported so he says that Dean is his fiance. Dean isn’t on board until Cas threatens to fire him if he doesn’t play along. Now they just  have to make it through Sam and Jess’ wedding. Easy... Right?  (There IS a happy ending it just takes these two idiots a while to get there.)

77. The Novak Hickey Mystery by @FagurFiskur - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- This is just a short ficlet involving Professor Novak’s mysterious relationship and some VERY nosy students. Nice and quick happy-go-lucky fic with no angst and plenty of tooth rotting fluff.  

78. Come Back* by @lizleenimbus - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts- This is yet another short, canon-verse ficlet for you guys. (I know these last couple fics have been pretty short but I have been reading so many long fics recently that I’ve needed a bit of a mental break from the stress of a slow burn lol) Anyways, this is one of my favourite authors. Literally, every single thing by this author is a freaking gold mine of Destiel goodness. This particular ficlet chronicles Dean and Cas sharing an intimate conversation after a particularly nasty hunt. I love these types of fics in which Dean and Cas actually Use There Words™ and talk like Grown Ups™. (Never happens canonically so I’ll take what I can get. Looking at you SPN writers.) ALSO, this has artwork also by  @lizleeships! I swear, this individual is too frickin talented. 10/10!

79. And then there were Six* by @lizleenimbus - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- I know, I know. Two in a row by the same author... This author rocks okay! (Seriously, go check them out) This right here is a wing fic my friends. But not the type we are used to. It involves a bashful Cas, flustered Dean (And I know we ALL love a flustered Dean), and a very amused little brother. I love this ficlet especially as it is a beautiful take on the fact that Seraphim are supposed to have six wings.  

80. Autrement, Danger - or, The Account of an Exceedingly Long Day by @awed_frog - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- Here’s another fic from a “rec list favourite” author of mine. This is a pretty cool case fic with an awesome monster of the week. (Japanese folklore at its finest.) A creature manifests itself as a person’s true love. Sam sees Jess, Cas sees Dean, Dean sees Cas (And has a freakout along the way.)  

81. Memories Bring Back Memories (Bring Back You) by @sobsicles - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- Hoooo Boy! Talk about an angst fest. Set sometime in early season 15, Dean and Cas get their memories wiped and Dean is convinced that they are serial killers on the run from some tall guy named Sam. Things get awkward when they get their memories back, as they also remember what the two of them did when they were on the run together. Dean talks out of his ass, Cas gets angry (rightfully so), Sam and Eileen just want a moments peace, and LOTS of bad blood gets let out out into the open for the first time in years. This fic was hard to read because, true to Winchester fashion, Dean and Cas’ communication during this fic is TERRIBLE. Just when you think the two of them are about to hash things out, one of them goes and says something stupid and they have to start all over again. I definitely recommend this fic, but be prepared to brave some hardcore angst before Dean and Cas get their happy ending.  

82. Lost in Words, Hand in Hand* by @hallowgirl - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- This is the fluffiest fluffy fic to ever fluff! (Try saying that 10 times fast.) Dean tells Cas that he never got read to as a child, so Cas takes it upon himself to read to Dean. It was supposed to be a one time thing, but the two enjoy the time together more than they thought they would. Plus, there’s so many books to read, and laying in the same bed is just practical. That’s it. Just guys being dudes. And if Dean happens to fall asleep on Cas’ shoulder? Well, that’s not his fault at all. (Also, bonus points for Sam being the typical smug little bro who lets Dean know that he and Cas aren’t as subtle as they think they are.) 

83. La Hantise** by @quiettewandering - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- Okay so, I have been waiting to read this fic for FOREVER. I read the first couple chapters a long time ago (back when it was still a WIP) and I immediately fell in love. I decided, rather painfully, to stop reading and save it to my Marked For Later until it was finished. I have a hard time when it comes to WIPs because I forget what I read during the previous update and I often times lose interest until I can read it all in one go. I couldn’t wait to read it and I was not disappointed! This fic is BEAUTIFULLY written and the story seems to come to life before your eyes. This is the Destiel we all fell in love with; Two damaged and broken beings finding peace within each other. Warning: these two are complete idiots and there’s a lot of pining and some pretty hefty angst. Castiel’s backstory is truly, completely and utterly, tragic. Dean’s isn’t a picnic either I suppose, but it’s Cas past that comes back to haunt Dean and Cas in this fic. The author seamlessly interweaves the reality with the make believe and it sucks the reader into the story effortlessly. 14/10. A Destiel classic.  

84. Cheers, Angel Eyes by @wannaliveindeansdimples - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- As I’m sure you all know by now, I am in love with bartender! and barista!Dean. This fic has a healthy dose of bartender!Dean for you. In this fic, Castiel, known to Dean only as Angel Eyes, is a regular at the bar that Dean owns. The two hit it off during the few conversations that they have and decide to give themselves a chance. Very minimal angst and only just a small bit of pining from Dean’s POV. A very good, quick, none painful read.  

85. best friends without benefits by @lizbobjones - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- This fic is set between the end of season 11 and the beginning of season 12 and is canon divergent for the most part. This one is pretty funny and enjoyable to read, if only for the sake of poor Sam and Mary dealing with two complete idiots. Dean lets slip to Cas that he finds Cas driving Baby “hot” and Cas admits that he has known of Dean’s attraction for years. Cas proposes he and Dean enter a Friends With Benefits relationship and Dean just can’t say no. But Dean just digs himself deeper and deeper into trouble after he mistakes Cas’ preposition as a rejection of deeper feelings. Misunderstandings happen, Dean is a big baby, Cas is clueless, and Sam is stuck in the middle.  

87. Shifter by @@LadyLini - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- There are tons and tons of fics out there where Dean and Cas are the bumbling idiots of the story (Yes, just like in the show) and Sam is the one who has everything figured out. But this fic looks at the idea of Sam being the one out of the loop and Dean and Cas being the ones who actually know what the heck is going on. This is a cool AU in which Sam went to Stanford, John Winchester is still an ass hole, and Destiel is canon. This was a cool take on how the events of the show would have taken place if Sam wasn’t there and Cas had been the one to save Dean from Azazel.  

89. diamond star halo by @jad - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- This is a wonderfully light-hearted little fic in which Cas possesses Dean while his vessel recovers from the attack dog spell. We also get some great brotherly banter, Cas and Dean bickering like an old married couple, and other Team Free Will shenanigans. Also, poor Sam.  

90. like moses and batman and james dean by @saltyfeathers - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- Oooohh boy. This fic is quite the can of worms for me. Here, the author gives us a more detailed account of Dean’s past of turning tricks in order to raise little Sammy, and how this past is affecting his current relationship with our Wayward Angel. This is a heavier fic and please be mindful of the tags (Yes, John Winchester’s A+ parenting is one of them...) But it DOES have a happy ending.  

91. any port in the storm by @mishcollin - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- If you are looking for a case!fic with Dean and Cas pretending to be dating on a couple’s cruise then you have come to the right place. I love this fic specifically for the care and detail of the case. Even more, there are lots and lots of OCs in this fic and every single one of them has their own personality and backstory. Be warned: there are lots of arguments between the elder Winchester and newly human Castiel. (Most of them because Dean is a big ol idiot in this fic and keeps the possible location of Cas’ fallen grace from him because of his Winchester Fear Of Abandonment ™)

92. Sunset Plaza by @LoveIsNotAVictoryMarch - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- Dang! This is a great fic. Cas is practically married to his work and never goes on vacations, so his loving brother Gabriel decides to book him a weekend at a resort. Cas ends up having to share his room with one Dean Winchester the first night due to a problem with the server at the hotel. But they manage to make the best of it (if ya know what I mean...) Everything is great until its time to go home. They could make it work, but our lovable idiots can’t let anything be that easy. (Extra points for a little dash of Sabriel and meddling Gabriel.)

93. Longing by @whelvenwings - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- This is a really fluffy fic set in canonverse. Dean and Cas finally have a discussion that has been long in the making, ending years of mutual pining. The tone of this fic is very sweet and is a great, feel-good, nighttime read. Give me Destiel and Impala confessions and I’m one happy clown.  

94. Hallelujah! Noel! Be it Heaven or Hell by @EnochianThings - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts- EnochianThings is one of my favourite fic writers of all time! I can’t believe its taken me this long to rec this fic. This is an angsty holiday fic in which Cas confesses his feelings first and Dean is a total assbutt about it. Dean is at a loss after he realizes that he might of just driven away the one thing that could have made him the happiest: Cas. (Oh, don’t get me started on a rejected Cas... My heart can’t bear his sultry seraphim sadness.)

95. I’ll Cross the Sky for You by @superhoney - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- I am going to start this off by saying that I wasn’t really into this fic at first. I had found it through tags alone and it sat in my Marked for Later for months. I liked the tags, but I wasn’t sure about the premise of the fic. I could NOT have been more wrong. This fic was absolutely adorable. Barista!Dean meets Captain!Castiel... but in space! (With space ships and everything!) Anyways, very adorable, very cute. Definitely worth checking out.  

96. Nepeta Cataria* by @thepopeisdope - Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- I would literally give anything for there to be more Witch!Cas x Familiar!Dean fics out there. This is one of my favourite AUs and I feel like it is so lacking compared to many of the others. In this fic, Cas is a lonesome witch who plants catnip to prevent mosquitoes from being in his garden. Little did he know that it would also attract Dean, a powerful familiar, who just so happens to be the love of Cas’ life. (Familiar!Dean is almost always a dog in the fics I find so it was great to get to see him as a cat. Honestly, Cat Familar!Dean might be my favourite.)

97.Texas State of Mind** by @palominopup – Archive of Our Own. 

Thoughts- This is an awesome fic with country singer Castiel Novak meeting Dean Winchester, a man who was once an award-winning country music star. Dean has a complicated past, as he didn’t leave the industry on a good note (Compliments of John Winchester’s A+ Parenting™) He’s sworn off ever singing again and is content to look after his horses for the rest of his life... That is, until Cas Novak wants to sing a duet. This is an awesome fic with lots of familiar SPN faces. It takes Dean and Cas a little while to come around for each other, but once they do, they’re a fluffy force to be reckoned with.

98. In Real Life by @cloudyjenn – Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- This is a hilarious little meetcute in which Dean has been communicating with this guy online... They’ve never done anything but exchange messages and texts, never even seen each other’s faces, but Dean is pretty sure he’s in love with him. Sam decides that such a relationship is completely pointless if the two will never meet so he introduces his brother to Castiel. Dean thinks he’s hot and would totally go out with him, but he just can’t bring himself to like someone other than his online mystery man. But Cas is fine with Dean not being interested, mostly because there’s this guy he met online who, even though they’ve never met... Aaaand ya. You all can guess where this is going hahaha. But it gets even better when Sam realizes that Dean and Cas are each other’s mystery online crushes and decides to have a little fun with it. 

99. Rentboy by @Naoe – Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- Dean Winchester’s life hasn’t been pretty, but he’s happy with it because at least he got Sammy the life and opportunities he wanted. Dean’s life takes an interesting turn when he meets Castiel at a benefit. Dean, ashamed of his job, comes up with a new name and a new life story for this strange man. Somehow, the two form an unlikely bond, Dean supporting Castiel as his wife is dying. But the lie Dean told is still there and he has no idea how to fix it. And once Castiel’s wife is gone, the lie is the only thing keeping them from truly being together. Castiel isn’t in love with Dean Winchester... at least, not the real one. Needless to say, life isn’t easy for a Rent boy in the 80s. 

100. Silver and Cold by @superhoney – Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- Silver and Cold is an amazing AU in which Castiel is a wayward hunter afraid of settling down and a dark past that haunts him everywhere he goes. While on a case investigating a possible werewolf attack, Cas runs into Dean Winchester, a recluse who lives up in the woods of Sydnam, Maine. He’s got a bad temper and a past to rival Cas’. If it weren't for the alarming amount of evidence pointing towards Dean being the werewolf, Cas thinks Dean might just be more kind than he lets people believe. 

101. Any Little Heartbreak* by @followthattardis – Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- This was a fic that I started reading a long time ago, but somehow lost and couldn’t find it again. But I finally found it and the joy I felt was unparalleled. (My little clown heart could barely take it) Dean is a heart surgeon. He’s frickin good at it to... Maybe even one of the best in the US. He knows everything there is to know about the human heart. (“Anatomically speaking”) He’s just transferred to a new hospital and the head nurse is totally hot. And Dean also happens to make a fool of himself in front of said nurse on his very first day at the hospital. From there, it seems that despite his best efforts, Cas doesn’t like Dean at all. (And EVERYONE likes Dean so, what the hell?) Dean thinks his crush will go away if he can just get all that tension out of his system... Boy was he wrong. I LOVE this fic and I am so glad I was able to find it again. I especially liked how all the hospital staff were all familiar faces. 😊 

102. What happened between me and Cas* by @AthenaErrata – Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- This right here?? Broke me. BROKE ME I TELL YOU. (*Clears throat) This is a coda set just after 11x19 episode The Chitters, in which Dean finally tells Sam everything. The secret kisses, stolen touches. The betrayals, the lies, the guilt. Everything. All the things involving Cas that Dean promised himself he would never tell another soul. Dean retells events from seasons 4 to 11 and gives a bit more info into just why he and Cas can never truly be happy together. The fic continues into a canon-compliant tale all the way until a beautiful happy reunion set in 13x06 episode Tombstone. 

103. True Faces* by @Tibbins – Archive of Our Own.  

Thoughts- I'm pretty sure that this author has featured on this rec list a couple times before. Tibbins is one of my favourite SPN writers of all time. This is a trilogy verse in which Dean, Sam, and Cas tell some truths that should have been shared a LONG time ago. In the first one, titled “Behind the Mask”, Dean convinces Sam to open up about some things that has been bothering him and Sam finally sheds some light on what it was like being tortured by Lucifer. The second, titled “In the Mind”, follows Dean as he opens up to Sam following the conversation from the first fic. He tells Sam more of what happened in Hell and why he will never really be able to wipe the blood off his hands. The last fic (Which is pre slash Destiel) titled “Under the Skin”, Cas gets to discuss with Dean the things that haunt the angel’s mind. The last one is especially painful... Though the two finally admit their feelings for one another, Dean explains to Cas why he just isn’t ready yet. It’s sad, but it has a hopeful ending.

104. In My Time of Vinyl by @freclesarechocolate - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts- First off, damn! This fic is one to pull at your heartstrings. I am a a shameless lover of hurt!Dean and this fic delivers beautifully. Cas, driven to seek shelter from the rain, enters the record shop owned by Dean. Dean is sweet and offers shelter for the night and Cas ends up promising to come back to buy some records. The two create a fast friendship but Cas ends up noticing some things that are a little off with Dean. He’s always smiling, but sometimes the smiles can’t cover up the sadness in his eyes. He doesn’t talk about his family or his past, and he never seems to have a lot of food in his fridge. This is a story of coming to terms with mental health, friendship, love, trust, and letting others help you. I absolutely recommend this fic! Quick warning, however, Dean has a very troubled life and his story is no picnic ride. Be sure to check out the tags before reading.

105. Hunter’s Caress*** by @Ltleflrt - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts- This is probably in my top five most favourite Destiel fics of all time. I have read this fic all the way through at least twice now. The story follows Castiel Jameson, a Pinkerton Detective, who is on a quest to revenge his murdered brother. He seeks the help of the outlaw Dean Winchester, a dangerous man who supposedly has enough blood on his hands to fill an ocean. Cas saves Dean and his brother Sam from being hung in exchange for their assistance in tracking the rat bastard who killed his brother. The two start out as enemies, then to begrudging allies, friend, and maybe even something more. Cas tries to keep his mind on business, but he aches to learn the feeling of a Hunter’s Caress. 20/10. Be warned though, this fic gets pretty gritty. The world of hunters and outlaws is messy and dangerous. This fic deals with death, injury, rape, and worse. Be careful before heading in but I assure you, this fic will not disappoint.

106. Love Bites* by @malmuses - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts- MalMuses is one of the best fic writers out there. A true legend in the SPN fandom! This fic is one of my favourite as it features Creature!Dean x Human!Castiel. In this fic, Cas takes in a bat that his cat got a hold of. Cas knows that there’s something special about this bat. He seems to understand human speech and loves hamburgers. But even stranger, his eyes are the exact same green as the cute mechanic who comes into the coffee shop sometimes.

!107-117. All of these are just codas set for post 15x18 and for post finale/finale rewrites. They are pretty much very similar. Dean breaks down and Sam is left to pick up the pieces. Most, if not all, have happy/hopeful endings.

107. Everything is Blue  by @malmuses - AO3

108. Tag to “Despair” by @Alvinola- AO3

109. Time by @Chipper99- AO3

110. When It All Crashes Down by @spacegirlstuff - AO3

111. Through the clouds by @judithhandronicus - AO3

112. Because it is by @60r3d0m - AO3

113. the burden of belonging by @Newtondale - AO3

114. Counting the days by @WanderUntilLost - AO3

115. The Weight of Silence by @jscribbles - AO3

116. As It Should Be by @Loser_Angel_666 - AO3

117. When you have a home by @Firebog - Archive of Our Own.

118. What’s Left Unsaid (Is Finally Said) by @A_Place_To_Roam - Archive of Our Own. 

119. When you have a future by @Firebog - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts- This is a lovely fic in which Sam succeeds in closing Hell and Castiel is able to board up Heaven. Everyone lives happily-ever-after. No looming Apocalypse, no higher power, no fate. Found family is the only thing that remains. But Dean is left with this strange feeling rolling around in his gut. Like he’s waiting for the next disaster to happen. Meanwhile Sam learns about dog poetry from Castiel, Team Free Will gets pet rabbits (named after porn stars), Dean finally gets his head out of his ass, and Sam learns something shocking about his older brother.

120. Remarkable by @shiphitsthefan - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts- Castiel’s the new elementary school teacher in town. One of his classmates, one Ben Braeden, has a father who is just as annoying as was promised. Dean’s “helpful” books and readings he brings Castiel about being more socially aware get easily dismissed as overly-involved-parent-crap. But that all changes after Castiel reads Ben Braeden’s essay assignment.

121. (Dis) Affection by @justkeeponwriting - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts - This fic!!!!! This fic is soo frickin adorable. Dean and Cas’ nosy friends set them up on a blind date. Neither of them is very happy so they devise an epic plan of revenge. Act like the most disgustingly in love couple ever and then have a terrible public breakup. Hopefully their friends will feel so guilty that they never try to set the two up again. The plan goes amazingly. Dean and Cas find it easy to fake being a newly in love couple... Almost too easily.

122. Uniform of a Winchester******** by @monsterfuckerdean - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts- Its fics like these that I think set the SPN fandom apart from others. The thought put into these works makes them so real, so painstakingly relatable, make the characters come to life both on screen and in words. This is a heartbreaking character study of Dean Winchester. The author gives the reader a glimpse into the backstory behind Dean’s jewelry. The skull bracelet given to him by Missouri, the ring given to him by a childhood friend named Lee Webb, and more. This fic will break your heart. And if you’re like me, you won’t be able to find another fic that comes anywhere close to it. (If you do, please give it to me.) I’ve read this fic many times over. I take this fic as canon, completely and utterly. Dean Winchester is written so perfectly that the writers of the show are frickin jealous.

123. In Someone Else’s Life by @blue_morning - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts- A classic Destiel wedding trope! Cas, along with his obnoxious-but-lovable brother Gabriel, accidentally crash a stranger’s wedding. Cas meets Jessica, the lucky bride, along with Sam, the best man. But its the groom with beautiful green eyes that Castiel can’t take his eyes off of. Assumptions are made, embarrassment ensues, and maybe... just maybe, happily ever afters do really happen.

124. Nobody’s Fault But Mine by @peanutbutterjelly-pie - Archive of Our Own.

Thoughts- Oh! the fluff! Its killing me. Cas meets Dean and Sam Winchester. Both ridiculously attractive and both total sweethearts. But Castiel finds himself falling for Sam, the older brother with the beautiful green eyes. Too bad he’s getting married to Jessica in a few weeks... Tee hee hee. It’s glorious.

#destiel+ficlet #Destiel #destiel fluff #destiel feels #SPN #SPNFamily #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #Sam Winchester #dean winchester #castiel #charlie bradbury #crowley #deancas #dean winchester fanfiction #castiel fanfiction #dean whump #castiel whump #clownin' around

[snowdice]

Road Trips and Missing Persons (Part 5)

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Patton & Virgil, Virgil & Deceit, Logan & Patton, Emile & Remy

Characters: Patton, Virgil, Deceit, Remus, Roman, Logan, Emile, Remy

Summary: Patton was just getting groceries. The next thing he knew, there was a knife at his throat and he was an unwilling uber driver. Virgil’s on the run after the murder of his dad, and it’s not just his paranoia that’s telling him he’s being chased down. He has to get somewhere safe, somewhere he can trust, and all he has is a couple of stories from his dad and a name: “Green Bellow Foods and Dispensary.”

Notes: Secret Agents AU, knives, carjacking, kidnapping, murder mentioned, guns mentioned, pepper spray, blood mentioned, drugs mentioned (more to be added)

This is a fic I’ve been writing on study breaks that you have probably all already seen at this point. I’ve affectionately named it the Goblin Brain Fic because it’s helping my brain actually get motivated for studying. I’ve slightly edited it for wording and grammar, but not for content from my previous posts. Feel free to send in asks to direct it because I’m not 100% sure where this is going and you can help decide if you feel so inclined! You can see the process I went through to build this at this link.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 My Master Post

Emile hummed a quick tune as he pulled into the grocery store parking lot near his apartment. He’d just finished his last session of the day with Kai and Remy had asked that he watch Virgil this evening after work and possibly this weekend, so Emile was picking up something to cook for dinner before heading over there. He was going to grab ingredients to make Virgil’s favorite dinner, spaghetti and meatballs (well his actual favorite dinner was pineapple pizza from the local pizza joint, but Emile wanted to serve the boy something at least somewhat healthy for once in his life.)

That in mind, he went straight to the pasta aisle. While contemplating which of the spaghetti noodles he should grab, he noticed a man with a cart also perusing the aisle. He glanced at the contents of the man’s cart. “That’s a lot of cheese there friendo,” he commented.

“I’m trying to make homemade macaroni and cheese,” the man divulged with a smile.

“That’s always fun,” Emile replied, smiling back himself.

“I’ve never done it before. Do you have any suggestions for noodles?”

“Hmm… how about shell ones?”

“Ooo, like the boxed Velveeta shell macaroni, but better!” He enthused. “Aw! They have mini ones!” He snatched the box excitedly. “They’re so cute!”

“They are,” Emile agreed as he finally selected the whole wheat store brand spaghetti and slid it into his cart.

“Thanks for the suggestion! Have a nice day,” the man said and turned to leave.

“Bye!” Emile called after him.

He then continued on his quest, grabbing pasta sauce and a lot of fresh vegetables to sneak into the canned sauce as well as to leave in his brother’s home with the hopes that either his brother or his nephew might actually eat something healthy for once if it was right there. (Doubtful, but Emile could hope.)

He then spent an inordinate amount of time, debating which popcorn to get. Emile was thinking tonight would be a good night for movies with Virgil, and Virgil’s favorite snack was popcorn. He really should get the less buttery one, but he knew that Virgil liked buttery popcorn more. Perhaps he should compromise and get plain popcorn, but that one healthier ranch flavored powder topping that he liked. Decided, he grabbed the popcorn and the topping and went to exit the snack food aisle. “Hey,” a man with a mustache drew his attention away from his task. “My friend lost his little brother in the store. Have you seen a younger teenager walking alone around here? We think he might have gone to the snack food aisle.

Emile frowned. “Nope I haven’t seen anyone. I hope you find him soon.”

 “Thanks,” the man said already distracted with looking around again.

“Maybe try the front desk,” Emile suggested. “They could call over the intercom.”

“My brother’s already there,” the man replied waiving the suggestion off. “But thanks.”

“Well good luck!” Emile said as the man walked away towards the back of the store.

Gee, it took him almost 40 minutes to get groceries, he realized when he glanced at his phone in the checkout aisle. He shouldn’t let himself get that distracted.

Once he’d paid for the groceries, he took everything to his car and shoved them in the backseat. Right as he was about to stick the key in the ignition, he got a text message from his secretary.

‘Kai forgot his phone in your couch again, but your office is locked. Are you able to swing by really quick to let him in?’

He texted back ‘Sure! I’ll be there in 5.’ He wasn’t going to keep Kai away from his phone for the night and it wasn’t like the groceries he’d grabbed were extremely time sensitive. So, he drove back to the office.

Kai seemed thankful for his willingness to drive all the way back even if his ‘thank you’ was rather distracted as he was already typing something on his phone the moment after Emile handed it back to him.

He said goodbye to Kai and to his secretary and hopped back into his car intending to drive to Remy’s house. He’d just started the car when his phone started to ring.

“Yello,” he said cheerfully.

“Emile,” the serious voice greeted on the other end of the line. “This is Logan Sanders.”

Emile sobered immediately. “Hi Logan. Is something wrong? Do you have a patient for me?”

“No, actually,” Logan said. “It’s… about your brother.”

Emile froze. “What about my brother?” he asked. “Remy is on light duty.”

“He was yes,” Logan said. “However, there was a complication.”

“What type of complication?” Emile said and a bit of anger came to his tone unbidden.

“He was specifically targeted,” Logan said, and despite the calm way he spoke, Emile could detect the distress in his tone. “I’m very sorry, but he’s dead.”

“Oh, god. What about Virgil?”

“That’s the other thing,” Logan continued. “As soon as I heard of Mr. Gates death, I dispatched an agent to his home for protection, but when he arrived, his son was not there. There were signs of a break-in, but the perpetrator’s car was still there, and my agent believes Virgil fled the scene and was followed on foot. My agent is currently searching for him…”

“There’s a ‘but,’” Emile concluded.

There was a slight pause, just enough to tell Emile he wasn’t nearly as unaffected as he was pretending to be. “I haven’t heard from that specific agent in over half an hour.”

“Okay,” Emile gulped, suddenly feeling sick to his stomach. There were hundreds of explanations for that, but many of them were bad. “Okay. I’ll go look myself since I know him and where he might go. I’ll,” his voice cracked a bit. “Call you if I find anything.”

“Alright, and I’ll…” but whatever Logan was going to say was lost as a hand touched Emile’s shoulder.

Emile screamed and tossed his phone as he accidently slammed his elbow into the car horn making it blare.

“Calm down! It’s just me,” said a voice.

“Frickin Frozone shitake mushrooms terrible tigger fish paste and cabbages, Remington!”

“You could curse like a normal person, Emile.”

“And you could not break into my car like a normal person,” Emile shot back turning around in his seat to face his older brother. “I’ll presume you’re not dead then.”

“Aw, were you worried about me?” he asked.

Violence is never the answer. At least that’s what he told his patients. Emile punched his shoulder the best he could from this angle. It clearly didn’t hit too hard as Remy just laughed.

“Sorry, Em,” he said reaching forward to ruffle his hair. Emile slapped him away.

“What happened?” he asked.

“Mega Bitch Ex decided she wanted me shot in the head and I decided I didn’t want that.”

“What does that mean?” Emile asked.

“It means,” Remy answered. “I faked my own death and while she thought I was dead,” he dug something out of his pocket and dangled it in front of him. It was a flash drive. “I stole this.”

“What is it?”

“Super-secret spy business.”

“Remy.”

“All that matters is she really shouldn’t have it and Logan will be very happy I got it away from her.”

“Speaking of Logan…” Emile had dropped his phone when Remy had surprised him, and the call had ended. He picked up the phone. “I should call him back.”

The phone was slapped out of his hand the second his picked it up.

“What the kriffing kriff Remy?”

“Please just say fuck. I beg of you,” Remy groaned. The phone starting ringing again from its place on the floor. Doubtlessly it was Logan since the last thing he’d heard was Emile screaming like he was being murdered.

“I need to answer that, Remy,” Emile said with a frown.

“You can’t. It’s too risky.”

“You literally just said you stole it for Logan. Why can’t I just answer the phone, say Remy’s fine actually, and he has a super-secret spy flash drive to give to you?”

“Because you don’t say shit like that over the telephone,” Remy told him while starting to wiggle his way into the front seat. “We’re going to take this thing to Logan in person and no one can know I’m alive until then.”

“I know you’re alive,” Emile pointed out.

Remy grabbed Emile’s phone when it stopped ringing and hit the power button to turn it off. He stuck it into his pocket. “Family doesn’t count,” Remy said. “…Also, I needed a ride.”

“Are you really going to keep my phone hostage this whole time and also what happened to your car?”

“It… uh… blew up,” Remy said. Emile stared at him blankly. “Yeah… so, anyway.”

“What do you mean it blew up?” Emile asked.

“I said ‘anyway.’”

“Saying ‘anyway’ doesn’t mean I just magically forget what you just said.”

Remy waved that off. “Anyway,” he said again. “We’ll have to pick up Virgil and … do something with him. I’m not leaving him home alone during this.”

“Right. I assume since you’re not dead that Virgil isn’t actually missing,” Emile concluded.

But instead of agreeing and telling Emile where Virgil was to go pick him up, there was silence. “Virgil is what?”

Want to read more? Click below!

Part 6

#sanders sides #emile picani #remy sanders #virgil sanders #remus sanders #roman sanders #janus sanders #creativitwins #patton sanders #logan sanders #platonic moxiety #knives #kidnapping #carjacking #murder mentioned #guns mentioned #adriana writes #road trips and missing persons

[sugarless-suki-writes]

First Lines Meme

Tagged by @nikkxb -- sorry it's taken me so long to get to this, lmao

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!)

See if there are any patterns.

Choose your favorite opening lines.

Then tag 10 authors!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I just kinda went to my recents on my google docs, so this is gonna have a mix of stuff, some original stuff too. ye :3 but I'm starting with fics that I currently have posted online. All of them are the first paragraph of the update that's in progress

Favorites have bolded and italicized titles :3

1. Sobriety || KouKag

Kagome had three sessions of therapy so far and she wasn’t fully sure how to feel. She knew it was helping her, but she was left feeling so.... raw and open after every session that she felt like she was just back pedaling and it was hard to cope with. A part of her wanted to just stop altogether and go back to self medicating, but she knew that this was just part of the process. The first couple sessions were going to be hard because there was just so much to unpack, but her therapist was nice and calm and patient with her. She really had to thank Kouga again when she saw him later today.

2. 100 Arms, 100 Years || KouKag

This was the fifth day that an offering had been left in front of Kagome’s door for her. The fifth time she would receive the carcass of a large animal that she wouldn’t accept. The fifth time that Inuyasha found himself in front of her and Kikyō’s shared hut and bringing the carcass to the village for her. His fifth time taking the credit for a hunt he had no part in. He had to admit, this was quickly grating on his nerves. He hated the attention that he was getting from the villagers now. They praised him for shit that he didn’t do. That, and he didn’t want to be praised for anything. It was bad enough that he practically had the Sacred Jewel within his grasp and wasn’t able to use it to become a full-fledged youkai, but now he was being celebrated as a hero by some mere humans? Keh... they’re lucky I don’t tell them what this is all actually about. I bet they wouldn’t be so happy then. He sniffed and scratched at his nose. He talked a big game, but Inuyasha knew deep down that he would never do anything to hurt them. If he did that, that would in turn hurt Kikyō and he couldn’t do that to her.

3. Big God || KouKag

Kagome let out a frustrated huff as she shoved her phone into her pocket. She then plopped down onto the couch, tucking her legs up underneath her and curling into Kouga’s side. “That’s the fourth test we’ve ran, and we just... can’t figure out what the hell that stuff is... It’s so frustrating!” she grumbled.

4. You are the Moon || KouKag

Kagome took care of dinner that night, going out to pick up a few things she would need before returning home and cooking. Her mother tried to talk her out of it, but Kagome insisted, wanting to give her mother a break for the night and do something nice for the family. She missed them, and she wanted to make up for being gone for so long.

5. The Demon of Nabewari Yama || KouKag

Kagome let out a small huff as she looked up at the mountain she was heading towards. She had been traveling for several days, bordering a week now, looking for somewhere to settle. However, all the villages she had come across already had a miko or monk residing there, and if they didn’t, they didn’t want one. To be fair, there weren’t many villages she had come across between her hometown and here, and sure, maybe she should go further out after completing her training, but it was still just a little frustrating.

6. Seasons of Love || ZelGan

Zelda looked herself over in the mirror, and the corners of her lips pulled down into a small frown. Her hair was pulled up into an extravagant updo, several locks braided and pulled into the bun that rested on the back of her head. There were some flowers pinned in as well, all of them white in color. She would have preferred something with a pop of color, so they would stand out against her hair; but she figured that, in the end, everything had to match her dress.

7. Gerudotown || ZelGan -- Title may change for this, idk lmao

Ganondorf let out a grunt as he dismounted from his horse. The beast was large with a jet-black coat and a matching mane. He gave the steed a pat on his neck before handing the reins to a stable boy, holding back a chuckle from the look on the boy’s face. He was certain the child had never seen a beast so big, nor a Gerudo, based on how he was looking up at Ganondorf with wide, disbelieving eyes.

8. Shit, Let's be Pirates || DaveJade

Jade ran down the dirt path leading to a hidden beach. She had just gotten out of class and was eager to go down to the coves. She wanted to find some cool shells and snap a couple pictures for her biology class. She always went above and beyond in that class, but she just had a passion for marine life.

9. Changing Fate || ZelGan

“You can’t possibly be serious about this, father!” Zelda snapped indignantly. Her hands were balled into fists at her sides and her face was contorted in rage. King Rimoll let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. They had been at this “conversation” for what felt like hours. He didn’t expect it to go this badly. Of course, he didn’t expect it to go well in the first place, but this was beyond what he anticipated.

10. Moon Bonds || KouKag

All Hallow’s Eve. A powerful night for witches and magick users alike. A night that better helped connect them to the spirits of the earth and those who had been lost. It was a night that Kagome looked forward to every year. The surge of magick that tingled under her skin and filled her very being... by the goddess it was an amazing feeling. And this year would be even more delightful and powerful.

11. Princess and the Pirate || Amuto

Growing up, Amu had been told many stories about pirates, everyone on her small island had. But Amu felt as if she had heard more than most. Her mother would tell her tales before bed about the pirates on a ship called the Emerald Line. Despite the name of the ship, its hull and sails were completely black. The only speck of color was the pirate flag it flew, which was emerald green and depicted a cat head with crossbones beneath. It was also known to be the fastest ship to sail the seas.

12. The Black Card || KouKag

Kagome paced around her room in her tiny apartment, struggling with picking out an outfit. It was her first day off in a while and she wanted to look cute, seeing as she wouldn’t be restricted by her, somewhat lenient (semi-strict?), dress code at the bookstore. However, she also wanted to be comfortable, so she was at a bit of an impasse. It wasn’t really as big a deal as she was making it out to be, but she was exhausted and she hoped that dressing nice would throw Sango off her trail. With a huff, she finally settled on a nice sundress she had stuffed in the back of her closet, one she rarely wore and almost forgot she had. It was light blue in color with a floral print.

13. Harvest Moon || KouKag

Kagome stretched as she woke up that morning. She opened her eyes and saw the torn-up ceiling and frowned to herself ever so slightly. She had moved into the country several days ago and had only recently started working on repairs that her home needed. It was a pretty large house, but the rent was extremely cheap. The only downside was she had to pay for the repairs, but in all honesty… she wasn’t too bothered by it. Apparently the house had been abandoned for years. No one was really sure how long... but Kagome could take a guess that it had been at least a decade with how worn down and dirty things were.

14. Memories || Original Fic - No Pairing

Lotus looked around at the scene before her. It would be an easy job, simple. She could do it in her sleep no problem. She scoffed and looked at the man beside her. “Really? You need me for this?” she asked. He turned to look at her, a scowl on his face.

15. Any Way the Wind Blows || ZelGan

Zelda woke up to the sun on her face. She grumbled and grunted, rolling over onto her side on her small mat. She opened her eyes and looked out ahead of her, at the grass and flowers swaying in the breeze. Her stomach gurgled and she placed a hand on it, a grimace on her lips. Food...

16. Found || KouKag

When Kouga had heard that there was a disturbance along one of their borders, he had been prepared for anything. He pulled together a team quickly, not taking all the strongest warriors, making sure to leave some behind to protect his pack. They ran off, ready to fight. Ready for anything. Anything except this.

17. Interlude IV (Showtime) || KouKag

O Signore, per amor del tuo nome, perdonami la mia iniquità... Perciocche ellà e grande Kagome sat there in the street, blood seeping through her clothes and soaking her knees. Tears continued to stream down her cheeks in a never ending flow. Her breath kept catching in the back of her throat as she tried to force down her sobs. Her hands were curled up into fists, pressed against the pavement, soaked in blood and in pain from being clenched so tightly and pressed so firm against the rough asphalt. Regret, despair, and guilt crushed her heart. They squeezed tight, holding onto her and keeping her trapped in the moment. A moment she’d rather drink away and forget, only for her guilty conscious to bring it back in her dreams at night, keeping her away from the blissfulness of sleep.

18. Bubblegum & Nicotine || Original Fic -- Astrid/Loki

Astrid opened the door to the apartment and latched her keys onto her belt loop. She then bent over to pick up the bags of groceries she had set on the ground to unlock the front door. Once she had crossed the threshold into the house, she raised up her right leg and kicked the door closed behind her. With a bit of a grunt, she hoisted the bags up a tad higher and made her way to the kitchen. She set them down on the counter with a thud and took a moment to catch her breath. She may be in good shape, but carrying several pounds of groceries up three flights of stairs because the elevator was out? That would wind anyone.

19. We Are Complicated || Bubbline

Bonnibel Kaugummi entered the school and was quick to drop her things off in her locker so she could head straight to the Student Council room. She grabbed a couple of her books out of the locker and shoved them into her messenger bag. The tan colored bag complimented her uniform, which consisted of a grey sweater, a red ribbon tied into a neat bow, which was neatly tucked underneath the collar of her white button up shirt underneath her sweater, and a red plaid skirt. The red accents to her uniform identified her as a Junior, and they complimented her red-orange hair and rosy complexion.

20. The End of All Things || KouKag

Kagome let out a soft sigh as she curled up in her spot on the bench, bringing her legs up to her chest. She was sitting out on the small deck that overlooked the garden in her backyard and watching the rain. It was fairly cool out thanks to the constant drizzle that had begun early that morning. The sound of it pattering against the ground and roof that extended over the deck filled her with a sense of calm, a calm that she desperately needed right about now. Working as a nurse wore her out. She loved her job, of course, but gods if it didn’t have its trials and tribulations. She had been working almost every day for a solid two weeks now, covering shifts for people on top of her own. Thankfully she had a couple of her shifts taken from her after being at the hospital for a full 24 hours at one point in time. Today just so happened to be her natural day off, and she felt pretty great about it.

#ask meme #koukag #kogkag #bubbline #zelgan #amuto #inuyasha #adventure time #legend of zelda #shugo chara #original content

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 36

time travel arccccccccccccc yessssssssss

I have been waiting SO LONG to reread this arc hhhhh yessss

starting off strong with the sexy roller cover. nice

I love the disconnect of ‘orion pax: outlaw’ compared to the last time we saw him in shadowplay where he was orion pax: supercop

he’s still punching people for JUSTICE or whatever so I guess not much has changed

oh my god this is the issue with the many many two-page spreads...the first time I read this issue I didn't realize that was a thing and GOD I was SO fucking confused. there's already a lot going on in this issue/arc but this made things so much worse hvbhjkdfbsk. I powered thru and still managed to understand most of the arc despite reading half this issue out of order (essentially) bc the website I read it on split the pages up and I couldn't tell they were supposed to be doubled (and also I'm dumb so I didn't figure it out)

anyways, the actual issue...windcharger is out here using his powers to rip a dudes arms clean off. wow!

and there's skids getting punched in the face. Ls

and glitch! a totally minor character of course...

MANNNNN I SO adore the panel of all the lost lighters appearing in a cloud of purple smoke, all posing epically....SO fucking good, peak sci-fi coolness vibes, A++

as usual jro killing it w/the titles, ‘elegant chaos’ is such a great name for a time travel arc

also reading the tfwiki has shown me that many of jros titles are song or album titles, to which I say - that's epic and I love it. with jro doing it, I feel like it straddles the line between referencing music and the very fanfic-esque ‘title things after music’ vibe. I love it

oh god I forgot they use bs cybertronian time units in this sometimes lmao...I mean of course they do but still like, what the fuck is a cycle. is that a day. I feel like these words all have no meaning/the meanings change drastically depending on continuity. I cant keep up and also I'm lazy and don't care enough to try

I love rodimus did u know

poor riptide looks so confused lmao

IS....IS REWIND PIGGYBACKING TAILGATE...THATS SO FUCKING CUTE....I cant fully tell bc of the page layout but ooomg so precious. minibot buddies

whirl saying ‘chuff’ just reminded me how british jro is hvbhakjhdsfbs sometimes it just Jumps Out in mtmte and I'm like Oh God Britain Is Real

I really like the mtmte approach to time travel and paradoxes and whatnot. its just complex enough to be interesting but not too convoluted that it bogs down the story. perfect sci-fi fun!

mannnn chromedome talking abt brainstorm :( I'm sad abt those two hhhhh

and I love how at this point, nobody in the cast ACTUALLY knows brainstorm well enough to know what he’s really doing - including chromedome, who’s ostensibly his closest friend, somebody he’s known for a while - and even the readers don't really know what he’s up to...I like the mystery tbh

cant believe rewind wrote orion pax’s biography, omg. completely forgot abt that detail

cd saying ‘I love it when he talks history’ about rewind....hhhh I love cdrw so muuuuch

godddd the line rodimus says abt whirl - how they need people like whirl around who are ‘happy to get in the way’ of danger and death - that shit haunts me man like...rodimus is basically saying that he’s bringing whirl along to potentially die in place of someone like orion pax (nevermind the fact that whirl dying would ALSO fuck up the timeline)...like, how deep does it go?? is he saying that bc he knows whirl has been trying to get himself killed for a while now, or just bc whirl likes violence? mannn I cant...the character intricacies...man

anyways...I love rodimus he’s such an interesting character. you have that fucked up moment and then in the next panel he’s saying ‘if you want to call it a time phone, I wont stop you’ about the quantum walkie-talkie. he has the RANGE

oh and then rodimus casually volunteering chromedome to do mnemosurgery on anyone who might accidentally find out about them time traveling, which is again fucked up on multiple levels. the raaaaange

vjaksbhdhfusajbfdjk that panel of the lost light squad just standing there like idiots reminds me of that post where someone said abt that panel ‘these characters have a collective 3 brain cells’ or something hvbjadkfnksfdl

rodimus IMMEDIATELY breaking his own rules by trying to reassure pax that they're good guys by pointing at his autobot badge, even tho the autobots DONT EVEN EXIST YET at this point...my boy PLEASE go purchase some brain cells from the store 

and the fact that rodimus introduced himself to pax w/his real name...shouldn't he go by an alias or st??? that seems like a good time travel rule since optimus and rodimus definitely know each other later 

and like, did they not anticipate that some of the people in the past would recognize some of the lost lighters hgbajkhdjfnjksf like cd and whirl get Instantly recognized...great job guys

they are all SO bad at this hvbahskjdhfbasjkf I cantttt luckily for them the orion crew is handing them easy alibis 

‘the dugout’ is that a baseball reference????

also I love the scenery here, the bg looks like rock but there's metal piping and stuff running thru it, its so cool...really adds to the whole ‘cybertron biomes are made of metal’ thing

‘ancient history’ rodimus are you KIDDING ME-

cyclonus time travels to the past and IMMEDIATELY finds a window to stare broodingly out of. icon

tailgate thinking orion pax is SUPER COOL continues here from shadowplay and I love it...tailgate is so cute

and the tg saying ‘don't you think that's awesome, cyclonus?’ hhhhh so cute

one reason I love this arc so much is that this is the arc where the gay Really amps up 

TRAILBREAKER.... oh man ;_;

are you telling me that this outlaw base they're in has ONE bed for all of these people. what the hell vhbaksjhfnsal

cant believe rung sampled roller’s steroid juice box

also cant believe robot steroids exist. except yes I can and I love it

oooh roller’s a 0/1%er? I forgot abt that 

cant believe orion pax just grabs some random phone that belongs to these weird new people and answers it. WHO does that

goddddd megatron and orion’s conversation....destroy me

HHHHHH like...the HISTORY....the regret...the missed opportunities...its all so palpable....goddddddd

and of COURSE, the whole thing is steeped in tragedy...the ideological differences that will become the foundation for a 4 million year long war...megatron, who believes that you need to burn things down and start again to really make change stick, and then orion, who says ‘reform is the answer, not revolution’....AUGHHH the intricacies. mannnn

‘you sound lost’ 😭😭😭

‘its tragic.’ yeah, that about sums up their relationship, especially at this stage and in this continuity 

anyways. [cries about old man megatron talking to young naïve orion pax] goodbye

AUGHHH and then we jump to rodimus ONCE AGAIN breaking his own rules and trying to save trailbreaker...IT HURTS MAN...god I love rodimus, I feel like him being broken up about crewmembers like trailbreaker dying is one part regular sadness over people he knows dying for tragic reasons, and one part personal guilt at someone under his command dying, even if he’s not involved/at fault. I love the dichotomy of this emotional reaction that comes only partially from empathy/emotion, but also comes from a kinda self-centered need for success as measured by people under your command staying alive. and taking into account rodimus’s life it totally makes sense that he’d act like that...GAH I love it. the complexity of it all!

orion pax saying ‘you should read [megatron]. it’s powerful stuff’ I'm screaming, so many LAYERSSSSS

I fucking love time travel AHHHHHHHHH like the opportunity for interactions like these....chefs kiss

‘hey, best friend! miss you!’ rodimus is such a shit hvbdajkfksjhfd 

‘very sus’ rodimus ahead of his time w/the among us lingo

oooh and then they realize that the senate is trying to kill the sparks...gotta save the babies!

tailgate scolding cyclonus for bluntly stating that you'd wanna be subtle when killing newborns...hhhvbhsdfhhhhhh I love them sm

ooooh and rewind has an interesting suggestion - that the senate is actually trying to irradiate the sparks into being outliers...rewind is so smart I love him

and the fact that he’s using history from his database...love it

rodimus sending cyclonus and whirl out like pokemon

ROLLER NOOOO DONT GO OUT THERE

also wow this is literally the 5th (I think) double page spread in this issue...the confusion I felt the first time I read this...lmao 

and now this is literally one of my favorite issues so I'm glad I know what's going on lmao

oh man rodimus telling cd not to erase trailbreakers memory even tho that could jeopardize the entire timeline... :( 

oh man I didn't even notice but roller getting debris blasted into his face like that makes the whole ‘roller is tarn’ theory even more legit considering tarn’s face scars....

‘tighter the better’ hhh don't say that orion. but also, that’s the companion phrase to megatron saying ‘the deeper the better’ hvbhasjkhdfbaksjlf

I do love the semi-campy action hero antics that orion pax gets up to. its just so fun, even when the stakes are high and things are serious

‘this is the greatest thing I have ever seen’ tg ily

THE REVEAL THAT THE SPARKS WENT TO NYON...so rodimus just saved himself, basically...time travel is so trippy

GODDDD ND THEN TRAILBREAKER...HVHHHHHh 😭😭😭 THATS SO CRUEL MAN

oh man that last panel of trailbreaker holding up roller’s juice box...iirc the first time I read this I thought that was roller (cause of the juice box I guess? idk I'm an idiot) so I was like oh ok he must've come back or something. very much related but I didn't really think about tarn being a particular pre-established character and totally didn't read the whole ‘roller is tarn’ thing that was going on 

which in my defense ruth also didn't pick up on any of that while reading this and eventually like 2 issues before the reveal I had to prompt her like ‘you should maybe be wondering WHO tarn is’ vhbahjksdfbaksjdf

so! issue 37! this issue is a solid favorite of mine, id say definitely top 5 or even 3. I'm super biased bc I fucking LOVE time travel, it’s seriously one of my favorite tropes ever, and this issue hits all the time travel beats I love. characters traveling to the past and interacting with people they know! conversations that have multiple meanings bc of TIME TRAVEL! trying to save someone who meets a terrible fate in your future! fun time travel action! the time traveling characters being generally terrible at hiding the fact that they're time travelers! ITS SO GOOD. 

and I love the clever way everything is tied together here - where we get a nice continuation of shadowplay, with this taking place shortly after that with a lot of the same cast, and time travel classics like the good ole ‘if we hadn't travelled back in time and done what we did, the future we came from wouldn't have existed at all,’ in the flavor of ‘rodimus saving his baby self’ and ‘rodimus NOT saving trailbreaker’ and ‘everyone forgot about roller :(’ 

ok but like, did the lost lighters just go ‘oh well, guess rollers gone now.’ like they DID realize that the outlaw crew would have no idea what happened to him if they got their memories erased, right?? did the lost lighters figure that since roller never reappeared after this time period, that was how history was ‘supposed’ to go and they shouldn't mess with it? am I overthinking it? as usual: yes, probably. I love overthinking about comics, in case that wasn't obvious

basically...I love this issue soooo much. so so good and a bunch of fun tropes that I love. I mean the whole arc is like that for me since I love time travel so much. so I cant wait to (re)read more!!

#lj rereads mtmte

[yume-fanfare]

Aiming towards the heroine, Suzumi Hiyori

this is a translation of one of the four short stories HoneyWorks posted at the beginning of the pandemic!  it’s written by Kosaka Mari, you can read it in japanese here. this was translated from this spanish translation by mieltrabajos.

Other stories:

The whereabouts of the roast beef

Two people at the school festival

Who is the owner?

Aiming towards the heroine, Suzumi Hiyori!

Walking towards the studio with the popular high school idols was LIPxLIP's manager in practice, Suzumi Hiyori. That day they'd be taking photos for a magazine. Although she was used to working, she was nervous when they took those kinds of jobs. Plus, that day they'd be with someone whom Hiyori admired, Narumi Sena.

When she stopped her amongst the staff, Hiyori gasped.

“Narumi Sena is so cute!"

She had been modeling since she was in middle school, so she'd always had a great figure. Her waist was slim and her legs were long and slender. Her egg-shaped face was small and her eyes and lips stood out.

“Hiyori-chan, hand this out to everyone,” a woman from the staff called out, and Hiyori nodded.

They gave her a tray with cups of both tea and coffee, and she offered them to the people around her, which included Sena.

(You can’t fail today!)

I’ve done hard work before.

It’s very important I don’t spill tea or coffee on Sena’s clothes like last time.

“Excuse me…,” she nervously called out to Sena, who was checking her phone. When she turned towards her, Hiyori offered: “Drink these, please!”

The model smiles and giggles, taking the cup.

“Thank you.”

(Phew~)

Even if Hiyori was just a staff member, she had thanked her properly.

Having forgotten her duty, Hiyori zoned out staring at Sena. The more she looked at her, the prettier she seemed.

(She’s totally different from us~)

Sena, bringing the cup to her lips, noticed Hiyori’s stare and met her eyes.

“Uh! Narumi, you’re a senpai in Sakuragaoka…”

“Ah, yes. That’s right. Could it be… you too?”

“Yes!” Hiyori nodded vigorously, her eyes sparkling.

“So, you’re in the same year as those two…”

“Yes…”

Standing a few meters away from them, Aizou and Yuujirou were talking to a staff member. 

They returned her gaze, so Hiyori quickly averted it.

“Oh, so you guys are my kouhais, how nice.” Sena smiled, drinking tea, and then asked Hiyori: “Do you like school?”

“Yes, though it can be difficult…”

The boys casually glanced back at her with a clear question in their eyes: “What are you doing?”

“I see... I’ll cheer you on!”

Maybe it was just because of the situation, but the words brightened her mood.

“I’ll do my best!”

“That’s the spirit!” Sena answered. “Oh, and thank you for this!” She gave her cup back to Hiyori, who left to put it away.

“She’s so cute… Narumi-san.”

Hiyori then got serious and declared:

“I think I’ll be able to make it if I work hard!”

“Nah, that’s impossible.”

“What nonsense are you talking about?”

From right behind her, Aizou and Yuujirou smirked while saying those words.

(Oh, go away!)

“I don’t know what to do with you two!” She turned away, puffing her cheeks.

---

The next day, after school, Hiyori was in club practice.

“Let’s fight!”

The other club members observed her determined look as they stretched.

Hiyori was in the track and field club. She had been invited by the club’s supervisor. Ever since she left her hometown for the city and chose to attend Sakuragaoka, she knew she would join the track and field club.

When she had work as manager in training, she was asked to leave school early, but besides that, she mostly spent her time doing club activities, even if she had to put them aside sometimes.

She really wanted to focus on club activities, but she was living alone so she really needed to earn money for living expenses.

This too, is to live.

It was a secret to everyone in her class and department that she worked part-time as a manager. There would be many jealous people if one were to say they work as an idol manager in training. Though she was already used to the occasional threatening look.

Plus, those two are completely different to what people think they are.

(I’ll get my revenge!)

Remembering their prideful faces made her sick. She raised her eyebrows, angry.

“Suzumi~! You can take a break now!”

“Teacher, I’ll run around some more another time!” she said, jumping to the ground and racing towards the main gate.

(Absolutely, absolutely… I’ll be like Narumi-san!)

-

“See you later, Aizou, Yuujirou!” 

At the gate, Aizou and Yuujirou were waving to some yelling girls.

A refreshing smile was painted on their faces, very different to the gloomy faces she saw at work. Walking as fast as they could, they tried to get into their manager’s car before looking back one last time.

Hiyori got on her bicycle and raised her fist.

“Let’s do this!”

---

Hiyori, who had voluntarily been running even after club activities, got back to the clubroom, tired.

She had gotten back much later than the other members, when they were already changing back into their uniforms.

“I ran too much,” she sighed, opening the door

Hina, her senpai, approached her.

“Hiyori-chan! I was worried since you were taking so long. How far did you run?”

“I’m sorry, Setoguchi-senpai, sorry!” She quickly bowed her head and then laughed, putting a hand behind her neck. “I was running laps, and I lost track of time.”

Hina smiled.

“Ahh, you can’t help it.”

“What’s the matter? I rush things. It’s a good thing, right? I just…”

“What is it?”

“I want to improve my figure.” She pressed her index fingers together, blushing.

Hina rolled her eyes.

“Your figure…” she answered.

“Like Sena-chan!” she answered with a serious look.

Hina laughed.

“That’s why you ran so much?”

“Setoguchi-senpai, I want to tell everyone!” she exclaimed, getting red and fussy.

“I’m not saying it’s a bad thing but… Hiyori-chan, are you feeling okay?”

“Of course, Setoguchi-senpai, I guarantee you.”

Hiyori sighed.

“I won’t butt in then. But… I can understand your feelings a bit. I wish I was more like her,” Hina admitted shyly, tapping her chin with her finger.

(Well, Setoguchi-senpai is really cute the way she is…)

Her pigtails look cute too.

“Oh, you should change clothes quickly. I have to close up soon!” Hina pulled out the key to the clubroom and smiled.

“Oh, wait for me~!” Hiyori quickly took off her jersey and pulled out her uniform from the locker.

---

When she got back to her apartment, she stared at the poster in the wall and started.

“... 97, 98, 99…” 

Sit-ups.

When she got to a hundred, she let herself drop on the floor, exhausted. She looked at the ceiling, breathing heavily and let out a long sigh.

When she closed her eyes, she out imagine a thick steak and a cream-filled crêpe floating behind her eyelids.

“To be a heroine… right?”

She was working hard every day to be like Sena.

“That’s right, even those two…”

Remembering the ones who laughed at her in her face, Hiyori frowned.

(Agh, they’ll see, you’re working very hard).

“I won’t lose!” She got up and started doing push-ups. “1, 2, 3, 4…”

(I can do it… I can do it… I’ll turn into a heroine from today on!!!)

---

Hiyori was in front of the starting line. She did a small jump and then got into the starting position.

Today’s club activity was a short-distance run.

When an upperclassman blew the whistle, she immediately started running towards the finishing line.

The man holding the timer said:

“Wow, Suzumi-san, we’re going to have to update your best score!”

Hiyori didn’t stop, screaming:

“Let’s do it!”

Her voice carried over to the soccer and baseball teams, who were practicing.

Enomoto Kotarou, who was on the soccer team, turned around, surprised.

“What…?!”

Some other members who were practicing forgot to keep kicking the ball too and turned to look at Hiyori run.

“That must be the star of Sakuragaoka’s track and field club!”

The club president smiled with satisfaction, nodding as he watched her go.

“How far are you running, Hiyori-chan?!” Hina, who had just taken a break, said in a hurried and worried tone.

Suddenly, Hiyori fell face first on the floor and did not get up.

“Hey, Hiyori-chan!” Hina shook her rushedly. Her eyes were completely white.

---

Hiyori hummed and opened her eyes, feeling rested.

“Where am I?” 

Looking around, she found herself in a quiet forest, surrounded by trees. She was wearing a red dress. 

“This is…!” she exclaimed, surprised, and turned around to see it better. “Um… I really am a heroine!!” She lifter the hem of the skirt and confirmed that she was wearing matching red heels. “Finally, I turned into a heroine too!”

She raised her hands and jumped, happy.

(Maybe I’ll meet a charming prince soon!)

She clasped her hands together as she daydreamed. Then, coming from somewhere, she heard a voice singing.

From behind the shade of a tree, she saw a shining cape.

“That…! Maybe it’s my prince…!” Hiyori gasped, covering her mouth with both hands.

When she looked closer, she saw that what the cape covered was a thick meat steak. On its side was a sticker that read: “5% off”.

“It’s a special beefsteak!”

But Hiyori tripped, lost to her own selfishness.

The cape-wearing beefsteak slipped away, singing as it escaped to a deeper part of the forest.

“Wait, no! My steak!”

---

“Steak…! A good steak… singing… don’t leave, please…!” Hiyori suddenly woke up, blinking. “I’m right here…”

She got up and looked around. She was in a bed in the school infirmary. The sun was setting and the room was dyed in orange.

“I’m glad you woke up!” a girl who wore the track and field club shirt met her gaze.

“Setoguchi-senpai!” 

When Hiyori looked at herself, she saw she was still wearing the club clothes.

(It was a dream…)

Hiyori sighed, disappointed to find out she wasn’t a heroine yet.

“You always say you can do it, right?”

“I’m sorry!” Hiyori pressed her hands together in an apology.

(I worried Setoguchi-senpai again!)

She closed her eyes and her stomach growled.

Looks like just a rice ball hadn’t been enough lunch.

(Aaahhh, that’s embarrassing! In front of Setoguchi-senpai…!)

Hiyori blushed, holding her stomach.

“I have a discount coupon from a ramen place my brother gave me…” Hina fidgeted with her hands. “Would you like to go?”

(Setoguchi-senpai and ramen…!)

Hiyori’s face brightened.

“Yes, I want to go!”

“Then let’s change clothes.”

“Yes!” she answered happily, getting up from the bed and leaving the infirmary with Hina.

(I’ll turn into a heroine… starting from tomorrow!)

---

Aizou and Yuujirou were waiting for the manager’s car to arrive, as usual, when they saw Hiyori leaving through the main gate and discreetly followed her.

Seems like she didn’t have part-time work today. She was laughing and talking about ramen with another girl.

“That girl, what is she aiming for?”

“Well, isn’t she a strong girl?”

While they talked, the manager’s car appeared in front of them.

They laughed in unison and got into the car.

#honeyworks #lipxlip #suzumi hiyori #HER #LOVING HIYORI HOURS #and sena and hina..................... #it's been a while since i last talked abt hina but i love her sm #and hnghhhhhhhh admiring sena hours #this feels like watching sports anime in the sense that it gets you all pumped up to do things but you're just. sitting at home lskjdklsjd #though!!! #this is the energy i want to be carrying into the next schoolyear!!! #which is starting. next week i think. #aaaa. #mar's translations #anyway that was the last one!!! #hworks #hw links

[seriouslyhooked]

Feels Like This (Part 8)

Emma Swan is a once lost girl who is now making good. She has made a way in the world for her and her young son, Henry, and after years of hard work, Emma is in her last stretch of schooling for the career she’s always wanted. Unexpectedly, she finds herself in a tiny nation no one’s ever heard of for her last year of study. She knows nothing about the place except that it’s beautiful, has a world-renowned child life program, and is filled with possibility. Meanwhile, Prince Killian is hardly happy with the title he received at birth. As the second in line for the crown, Killian has long tried shaking his royal duties. He built a career in the royal navy, and has stayed out of the limelight, but his ship has been called to port indefinitely at the request of his brother, the King. Fate (in her many forms) brings Emma and Killian together and the resulting fic is a cute, fluffy, trope filled romp featuring heart felt moments, a healthy dose of insta-love and an assured happily ever after. Story rated M and will have 12 parts. Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7. Available on FF Here and AO3 Here.

A/N: Hey everyone! So I was writing this chapter before and during the angst of posting the parade chapter, and I want to just say, that while I knew many of you would be stressed, I imagined this chapter (and chapter 7) as a healing remedy. This is filled with first date fluff and cuteness and also some more needed disclosures between Killian and Emma. it represents a real beginning, and hopefully you’ll all enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing. Anyway, without further ado, here goes!

Okay, Emma, don’t panic. It’s just Killian. You like Killian. Actually, you really like Killian. And yes, he might be a prince, but that doesn’t have to mean so much when you think about it. A date is a date. Sure you haven’t been on one in years, and certainly not with a man you actually cared about. But it’s fine. It’s so fine. You got this. It’s not like he’s taking you to the palace for the date. Oh Jesus, he’s not taking me to the palace is he? I know he said he wasn’t but –

“I can practically hear you overthinking things through the door, Emma. Cut it out!” Anna scolded with her ever present affection laced into the sharp words. The censure snapped Emma’s focus back into the moment and reminded her that time was ticking, and she had others waiting on her. “Now come on, we want to see your dress, don’t we Henry?”

“Yeah, Mom. Open up!”

Anna and Henry’s headed back down the hall, and Emma heard their footsteps loudly thumping in a purposefully dramatic way. They hadn’t even waited for her reply, they just commanded her to get a move on. Emma smiled at their antics, despite her flurry of nerves, and looked back to the mirror one last time. She smoothed out the lines of the delicate dress she’d chosen for tonight, recalling Killian’s promise that they would have complete privacy and no expectations. With that assurance, she went with something pretty and yet still comfortable. Her chosen sun dress reflected the seasonal heat they’d been experiencing, but the pretty pink color was not her usual choice. It was different, but it felt special, and as she’d been choosing from the hordes of outfits Anna and Elsa offered when they arrived, Emma couldn’t help remembering Cecelia’s words at the center’s picnic. She’d said pink was for princesses, and though Emma by no means thought herself a princess, she wanted to feel a bit surer of herself in a not so normal situation.

“All right, I’m coming out,” Emma announced, swinging the door open and heading out for the big reveal.

Elsa, Anna and Henry were all gathered by the television, plotting out their movies to watch and snacks to consume while she and Killian went out for the night. Emma was so grateful to have new people in her life who would give up their one night off from work to help her care for her son, but when she tried to thank them, Elsa and Anna waved off her gratitude as unnecessary. Already they considered her a ‘dear friend’ and they were thrilled to spend more time with Henry. Henry was equally excited, but when he knew this was happening so Emma and Killian could go out, that excitement was compounded. He’d loved every minute they spent with Killian yesterday, and he’d reaffirmed that all day long. Henry had also been very clear of his approval and his want for Emma to give this a real chance.

When she came into view of her friends and her son, Emma felt a bit of lingering uncertainty, but it faded in the sight of everyone’s reactions. Elsa and Anna were so expressive, both of them clapping and smiling immediately.

“Oh, it’s perfect, Emma, just perfect,” Elsa said happily while Anna gave her own assessment.

“I really thought you should go with something more formal, but you were so right. This is the one.”

Emma smiled at the thought and looked to Henry. The softness of his expression made her throat tighten unexpectedly, and in seconds she was ready to cry. He looked so sweet and filled with adoration, and then he said the most beautiful words that always made a mother truly happy. “You look beautiful, Mom.”

“Thanks, kid,” she said, gesturing for him to come over. He ran to her, giving her a big hug that made her teeter slightly on her wedged shoes. She held on tight though, cherishing this love from her son and taking strength from his love for her. “You sure it’s really ok?”

“Killian’s not going to know what hit him,” Henry agreed with a grin. Then that smile faltered and Emma grew worried.

“Everything okay, Henry?” her son nodded.

“Yeah, Mom. Everything is great. You know I like Killian. He was so cool yesterday, and he makes you happy. I saw that.”

Emma couldn’t disagree. Even with all the unknowns and the questions and the hurt yesterday she had been happy. Spending time with Killian and Henry together had been easy and fun. It felt natural, and she’d loved that. It scared her, but she wanted it, and that was part of the reason she’d chosen to forgive Killian and still try despite everything that happened. Still, she felt there was something Henry wasn’t saying, and she waited her son out to see if he’d tell the full truth.

“You deserve this, Mom. I know you’re nervous still, about getting back out there after what happened with my Dad,” her heart stopped. They rarely ever talked about Neal, but when they did Emma always worried. Her priority was Henry and she never wanted him to feel like he was missing something. But in this moment, Henry quickly put those worries to rest. “But this is different. Killian is not like that.”

“You seem pretty sure about that,” Emma said, trying for lightness in tone, but not quite getting there.

“I am sure. You always told me to follow my gut, and my gut says that Killian is good for you. Good for us. Don’t you think?”

“I think…” Emma said, weighing her words carefully. Because yes, she did think that might be the case, but it was still very early on in whatever this relationship was, and she didn’t want to build up hopes too high for her or her son. “I think that I am excited for this date. So, what does that tell you?”

Henry grinned. He looked poised to say more but then a knock sounded at the door. Emma’s stomach flipped in anticipation and all the butterflies came back full force.  Oh god he was here. This was actually happening.

“Look at that,” Anna said gleefully, gesturing to her watch. “He’s three whole minutes early. Someone’s certainly eager.”

“Anna,” Elsa said, chastising her sister, but only in jest. Elsa then came to stand and took Emma’s hands as a means of reassuring her. “You got this Emma. You can be totally certain we’ve got things handled here. Your only job is to go and have a marvelous time, okay?”

“And then report back all the details to us later,” Anna said. Elsa rolled her eyes, which made Emma laugh in spite of her anxiety, and then smiled.

“Any and all detail sharing is up to you.”

“Thank you. Both of you,” Emma said to Elsa and Anna. “Now Henry, you be good, okay?”

“You got it, dude,” he said sticking his thumbs up and quoting a show from her childhood that he’d taken to as a kid when it was on constant reruns. She laughed again, and allowed that laughter to carry her to the door. She didn’t give herself a chance to second guess, she just went for it, and then she saw Killian on the other side and she was spellbound, caught in a web of how handsome he looked.

“Emma.”

His voice sounded out in a deep rumble, gruff with feeling as his eyes took her in. She barely noticed though, distracted as she was by his outfit. Damn, it should not be legal for a man to be that hot. He was that perfect mix of formal and casual, and she momentarily forgot her audience. In fact, she forgot about everything except Killian, and by the time her eyes met his again, he was smiling this sinful smirk that lit her up inside. Crap, he’d caught her ogling him, but when he stepped towards her and filled the air around her with the scent of him she was lost again. She wanted to melt into him right now, but he held back, teasing her but never quite following through.

“I’ve no intention of waiting to the end of the evening to taste you, love,” he whispered, low enough that only she would hear. “But at the present moment we’ve got an audience, and I won’t put you through that.”

Emma nodded, thinking he meant Henry, Anna and Elsa but then she looked over his shoulder and saw the detail he’d had to bring. She blushed at the fact that she’d forgotten herself, but Killian didn’t give her any time to linger in that. Instead he took her hand in his gently. She assumed they’d leave straight away, but he surprised her by asking how Henry was.

“He’s great actually. Elsa and Anna are already spoiling him and I haven’t even left yet,” she said and Killian’s amusement was so genuine it touched her heart. “Do you want to say hi before we go?”

“I would love that,” he confessed and Emma brought him inside, realizing too late that this could be the equivalent of bringing him to the Spanish Inquisition. Her kid already asked a lot of questions, but with Elsa and Anna here, there was simply no way of knowing what would be asked or said. As if he could sense her worry, he squeezed her hand lightly and pressed a reassuring kiss to the top just before they came into view of the others.

“Hey, Killian! I didn’t know you were coming in. I hoped you might, but then Anna said people on dates get all heart eyes and stuff, whatever that means, and maybe you might forget.”

“Couldn’t possibly forget you, lad. Not when you introduced me to the world’s best pizza.”

Henry’s smile at that and his easy hop up from the couch to slap Killian’s hand had Emma absentmindedly rubbing at her heart. She watched the two of them catching up on the day, and also saw how easy Killian was with Anna and Elsa. Both of them lobbed a few sassier questions or comments his way, but he handled it all with grace, and every time he looked back at Emma, which was often, he had a smile on his face, like he was genuinely glad to be here, jumping through all these hoops.

Finally, after a a little visit with all of them, Killian made their excuses, while still keeping their end destination a secret. He offered Emma his hand once more and she took it, following him as he lead her out her front door and to the car. With sure and steady movements, he handed her inside carefully, acting every bit the gentleman. He then came around to the driver’s side and only when they were off and driving did she realize how not normal this must be.

“So what did you have to do to convince Jefferson to let you drive?” she asked.

“Nothing,” Killian said honestly before flashing her a smile. “He’s a smart man. He knows a losing battle when he sees one, and any iteration of this date where I sacrifice alone time with you is definitely a losing battle.”

Emma loved that he’d made this clear, and through the rest of the ride they talked and fell into an easy pattern together. It wasn’t long before they’d reached their destination though and Emma gawked when they pulled up to the magnificent, high, wrought iron gate.

“I thought you said we weren’t going to the palace,” she said, stunned at the size of this place. From the outside it looked like a castle, at least to someone who’d only ever lived in cramped apartments (at best) her whole life.

“This isn’t the palace. It’s another of my family’s estates. Actually, if you want to get technical, it’s mine.”

“Yours,” she said, dumbfounded, but entranced as they were let through and she looked at the stone façade. It was beautifully crafted, and maybe it was smaller than a palace might be, but it was a gorgeous home on a sprawling bit of perfectly manicured land. In a word it was intimidating, but she couldn’t deny the beauty, or the immediate charm of the place.

“Aye. I haven’t spent much time here though. I’ve always been home with my family when on leave. Historically if I so much as mention leaving, my Gran gets cagey and my mother grows quiet, two things you do not want to happen.”

“Bad signs?” Emma joked, and Killian nodded.

“Most definitely. Now though I don’t anticipate any push back.”

“What’s changed?”

“Everything.”

The way he looked at her when he said that told Emma so much. He was talking about her and about them. She felt a flare of heat and appreciation at his affirmation. Knowing he took this seriously made her happy even if she was still not ready to fully jump in. But it begged the question, did his mother and grandmother know about them? Did his brother? What did they think? Did they approve? All these thoughts ran rampant in her mind until Killian drew her into his arms and pressed his lips to hers. Immediately any worries fled and she was just here, with him, in this glorious moment. It felt just as good as she remembered, and she loved the taste of him and the feel of his hard body against hers. Emma never felt more secure or safe than she did in his arms, and she didn’t ever want to draw back. Fear was never on her radar when she kissed this man. She was simply free, free to be herself and to believe in something greater.

“I told you I couldn’t wait for the end of the night,” Killian said, his words a low warble that brushed against her skin when they broke apart. Her eyes opened and she took in his sexy as sin smile and felt her heart skip a beat. Damn this man for being so distracting. He was just so smooth and effortless, but underneath that swagger there was some not so hidden insecurity. He could be this and still be vulnerable with her, and that helped Emma feel like all of this was that much more real.

“Who said you needed to?” she quipped, teasing him with an almost kiss of her own and a soft nip at his lip. He growled and she pulled back, chuckling lightly. “Actually, on second thought, a little waiting never hurt.”

She should not have taken so much pleasure at his groan, but he respected her wishes, taking her hand and leading her inside. His hold on her was sure and strong, and she followed him, intrigued by a place she’d never seen the likes of before. The walkway inside was immaculately gardened. The cobblestone was ancient and even, and the vines along the walls were green and full and bright. There were flowers in the hedgerow, and the glass of all the windows glinted with the remaining sunlight. It was a gorgeous façade, and she was eager to see what beauty lay inside.

Walking into the manor home, Emma was struck by the design and the aura of the place. This home was pristinely kept and yet classic in all ways, but where Emma expected sterile, spacious garishness and overblown luxury, she found none. The mood inside was warm, there was plenty of natural light thanks to all those windows, letting in the dimming summer sun, and historical accents that blended with much more modern fare. Room by room she tried not to gawk at how beautiful it all was. It was wild because it was so different, but there was so much she liked, and so many parts of the house she saw and actually desired. It was a royal getaway but it was still a home, and that was beautiful. Thankfully they did not go on a full tour. That would have been kind of mortifying, and a reminder of how truly different their lives were, but what she did see was stunning. She could imagine Killian here, and for a moment she allowed herself to think if she would like it here and if Henry would too.

But she was getting way ahead of herself. She shook away the thoughts as they entered the kitchen, and once they were inside, she saw the first unkempt part of the house to date. It wasn’t messy, per se, but there were ingredients out and utensils and things for cooking. Actually, it looked like someone had already cooked half of a meal. Some things must be in the fridge, but there was enough on the counters for Emma to be curious. Yet there was no one in the house that she’d seen so far. The staff, Killian informed her, had all been given the night off. The only people on the property were his detail and they were at the gates. This was a secured place so aside from regular rounds, there would be no one walking about, and Killian assured her no one would be in earshot or view of either of them. She looked at Killian quizzically and he explained.

“I thought I might cook you dinner tonight, love, but then I realized, as a relative novice, some parts may take too much time. Between reading the recipes and consulting the videos I found online, it was a rather long process. So, I got what I could done earlier before picking you up. I didn’t want to keep you waiting.”

“Killian, you didn’t have to go through all the trouble,” she said shaking her head. No one had ever done anything like this for her. Certainly not someone who had so many other calls on his time and attention.

“It wasn’t any trouble, love. And I hope, when you find out what exactly is on the menu, you’ll be pleased.”

Emma didn’t know what she was expecting him to feed her, but his menu, as he put it, was a mix of elegant refinement and casual things that showed his attentiveness. He had a few courses mapped out, and most were unfamiliar and native to the Montennaran coast, but every one smelled delicious and tasted even better. It was a languid pacing, with Emma offering to help and Killian insisting he could do this. This left her to relax with a glass of some of the best wine she’d ever tasted, and gave the two of them space to talk, all while Emma took in his determination and sheer power of will. He was a beginner in all of this, and some elements took a bit more time because he was new to them, but his carefulness and attention told her so much about him, and all of his patience was well rewarded.

They stopped to share each plate together, and those moments felt especially intimate. They were seated close together, with barely any space between them, sharing each dish and enjoying each other’s company. Of course it was only a matter of time before that closeness got the better of them, but every time Emma thought they’d give in to the crackle of heat between them, Killian would say there was another course left. He’d press a gentle kiss to her cheek or her neck or her lips and be back up cooking once more. Now it was time though for the final course and she was eager to see what he had lined up for dessert.

“So let me guess, this dessert is going to somehow factor in those Montecarri things right?”

“What makes you say that, Swan?” Killian asked, amused at her question, but giving nothing away as he pulled some items from the cabinets. She was so distracted by his smirk she didn’t take stock of what he was gathering.

“Well this has been essentially a culinary tour of this country, and I hear Montecarris are the specialty to end all specialties. Seems fitting to include them.”

“Perhaps it would have been,” Killian hedged, his expression now the tiniest bit unsure. “But I actually had other plans.”

Emma was about to ask what they were when she looked down at the ingredients he’d brought out. Marshmallows, vanilla ice cream, and wait – was that chocolate chip cookie dough? If her eyes did not deceive her, that was chilled dough of a totally American staple, which also happened to be her favorite baked good bar none.

“Okay, I’m intrigued, what are you making?”

“Can’t you tell?” he asked curiously. “It’s your favorite. Well unless I’ve misunderstood.”

Killian explained his intention to bake these cookies and then to move outside to use the outdoor fireplace. He produced two perfect roasting sticks for marshmallows, and suddenly it dawned on her.

“Cookie s’mores,” Emma said in awe. They were her favorite summer treat, and as she looked closer at the dough she could see that there were graham cracker flakes in the mixture. Holy cow, he’d really done his homework for this one. “But how did you know?”

“My first week at the center, you were caught up in the children’s favorite game,” Killian said, alluding to how the kids loved to ask all of the adults about their favorite things. It had apparently been a staple since the older kids watched The Sound of Music. Now all of them loved compiling lists of favorite things as well as a list of things to try and to dream of one day seeing and doing. Thinking back though, Emma couldn’t understand how he would remember something like this. It was weeks ago, and it was such a small moment, but from her handful of words he’d created a road map to something thoughtful and perfect just for her. “You told them about this particular delicacy, and they were fascinated, as they are by damn near everything you say. I’ll admit, I had some trouble sourcing these graham crackers, though. They’re not a staple around here, but a lieutenant of mine from the navy can get anything from anywhere so I called in a favor.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Emma admitted. She found it hard in this moment not to cry, and the reasons for the feeling were all good. She was just a bit overwhelmed at how much he’d really been paying attention and how serious he was about making her happy. And it was working. She felt so good being with him, and for the first time in her life she was scared in a relationship, not because she didn’t want to trust, but because she didn’t want to let go.

“Perhaps you should save any declarations one way or another until after they’re made?” Killian teased and she knew he was looking for a smile, but she couldn’t just stop there. Instead she moved around the counter and pulled him in for a kiss, showing him how much this gesture meant to her in the scheme of an already beautiful night.

“Bloody hell,” he muttered when they came up for air. His eyes were filled with admiration and want, and she could see he was barely holding back, even as his cursed words sounded more like a prayer than anything else. Emma grinned and let out a low laugh as she ran her fingertips along his jaw.

“I think it’s safe to say that I love this, but just in case there was any doubt…” Emma said, and she purposefully left her meaning ambiguous. To him he might think it was just the s’mores she was discussing, but it was actually so much more. She loved being with him, on this date and just in general. She loved this snapshot he’d provided at a perfect quiet moment. And she loved the passion and the hope this man brought forth in her life so often. Despite yesterday’s uncertainty, she felt firmer in herself and in this new relationship than she ever had, and that was thanks to Killian and his kindhearted ways.

“You’ll never know what it means to me to hear that, love,” Killian admitted and she smiled at him once more. “I only hope you like the rest of the evening as much as you’ve enjoyed all this.”

And as they finalized things here in the house to make the rest of their dessert out back, Emma knew that she would enjoy whatever was coming down the pike. Because with Killian at the helm, she could have total faith in what was coming, and that feeling of safety and excitement that had been with her all evening would continue in the best and most wonderful way.

…………………

Sitting beside the outdoor flame, watching Emma laugh in the flickering fire light as she tried not to set her marshmallow ablaze, Killian knew he had never been more at peace.

Tonight was a revelation, just as many of his moments with Emma had been, but this was different. This time, Emma knew he was a Prince, and though he saw her eyes widen at the ostentatious gates and the vastness of this house, she never made him feel different or otherized. It may not be her norm, but there was no judgment from Emma or expectation. She had rallied and clearly chosen to be herself despite all of this, and that allowed him to do the same. It was a remarkable feeling, and a pleasure he never believed he could have as long as he lived here in Montennaro.

For the past few hours, Killian had done his best to memorize each moment. He kept tabs on all of Emma’s words and expressions. She was touched by his cooking for her, and though he was somewhat overwhelmed by all the things that could go wrong, she seemed to have complete faith in him. She also cherished all of their closer moments together, and he felt her wanting and the way it mirrored his own. There was so much brimming underneath the surface, a tantalizing knowledge that their chemistry was bound to combust sooner rather than later, but still he held back, savoring Emma the best way he knew how and trying to treat her to the perfect first date that she deserved. He wanted to carry all these little pieces of this evening with him for the rest of his days, even while dreaming of making a million more memories like this in the weeks and years to come.

Tonight had also solidified his hope for a future with Emma. He had known for some time that that he was in love with her. Interest and infatuation grew surely towards love early on for him, and now he cared for Emma in a way that would outlive his time on this earth. There was no denying how connected he was to her, and how enduring this bond he felt was becoming. She had his heart and his hopes tied so effortlessly around her, he stood no chance at getting either back again. But seeing her here, in his home, and in the place he was expected to build his future, changed something, taking things even further than they’d been before.

For the first time Killian could imagine Emma with him in his world. He could see a path for them to meet in the middle and to carve out a life they both could love. He had duties and responsibilities as Prince, some of which would require Emma’s participation if they continued to be together, but he would fight tooth and nail to give Emma everything she wanted and deserved outside of royal expectation. He couldn’t give her a fully normal existence, but he could give her love, support, and opportunity. He knew she’d want to work with the Institute still, and likely do even more for children all around the country and the world and he’d see to it that she could. He’d move mountains for her to help her feel fulfilled, because all he needed to feel that way was her. She was his home and his purpose, first date or not, and he prayed that someday she could see a home with him here. If not, he didn’t know what he’d do. All he knew was that living without her was not an option.

“You’re making that face again,” Emma said and Killian looked to her, grounding himself in the feeling of his hands on her lithe form as she turned their sugary treats until they were a perfect toasty brown.

He’d had his hands on her as much as he could tonight, and he was addicted to the feel of her. He did not know how he could go another day without touching her. Even a few hours felt too long a stretch. Emma soothed him and excited him at once, his heart raced but his demons stayed away. Feeling so much and having those feelings be good was something he’d never known before, but yes, sometimes worries crept in. He couldn’t help fearing that somehow she would leave him, and his hands were tied at the moment. He couldn’t tell her everything he felt so early on, but he’d never feel fully comfortable until he could. Still, the way she looked at him, like she knew him even better than he knew himself, should terrify him. Emma saw into his soul and could read him fully, scars and all. But instead of running from the attention like he did with anyone else, he was filled with pleasure. To know that she cared and that she was in this with him meant everything, and that eased the pain of his thoughts and worries being so obvious.

“What face is that love?” He feigned ignorance, though he knew exactly what she was getting at.

“The one you get when I’m leaving, or when you’re worried that I will,” Emma said, pulling out her golden treat from the fire and offering it to him. He absentmindedly took it as she continued on. “You had it yesterday at the parade, and then before we talked. Sometimes you get a version of it at the Center when it’s time to say goodbye, or when our tasks take us different directions for the day. Actually, now that I think about it, it’s a pretty persistent expression.”

“I’m not a fan of being parted from you,” Killian admitted and Emma looked at him with a softness in his eyes that spoke to understanding.

“That makes two of us. But luckily we’ve still got time, right?”

We have forever, he thought to himself but he bit the words back as he nodded and pressed a soft kiss to her lips.

From there they managed to create Emma’s favorite summer sweet, and he had to admit that it was delicious, especially when he tasted it on Emma every time he stole a kiss. It was decadent but simple, and though s’mores were not a custom here in Montenarro, he felt young again. Like a kid in the summer months. It was peaceful and rejuvenating, and he wanted to extend that as much as he could.

“What are your thoughts on stargazing, love?” he asked, and Emma looked surprised before casting her eyes above.

“I haven’t had much chance to do it, honestly. We’ve always been city people so the light makes it hard to see. But out here… wow, I didn’t realize just how much you can see.”

“This is nothing,” he said, standing up and tugging at her hand. “Here, let me show you.”

As they left the stone walkway, Killian grabbed a nearby lantern, lighting the flame so they’d have enough light to guide their way. With languid steps the two of them walked from the fireside down a path in the back greenery. It was dimly lit with tiny lights along the path on the ground, but by now the sun had long since set and the night was out around them. Only the pale yellow glow of their lantern cast anything substantial enough to help them see. Emma held his hand tightly, and he checked to make sure she was comfortable. Her expression, even in the dim light, told him everything he needed to know. She was excited for this, and unbothered by the darkness they needed to get through to see the sea of stars.

Soon enough they came upon the back villa, a structure meant to house any guests, which had long been dormant. Since Killian was not here, he’d had no visitors, but someday he hoped that would change. What the house did boast, however, was something essential for stargazing, and he was glad he’d had the foresight to pull it out before Emma’s arrival.

“Wow,” Emma said when their seating area came into view. “That’s some telescope.”

“One thing you’ll learn about my brother is he does nothing by half. I mentioned the stars once when home for a deployment and the next day this was in my rooms. I had no real need of it at the palace, so I had it brought here. Needless to say, it’s a bit more powerful than anything I might have expected.”

“Henry would love this,” Emma said and Killian warmed at the mention of her son. Her boy was special to be sure, and even though he’d only met him yesterday, he knew Emma was right. Henry would take great joy in learning about something like this, and Killian felt a strong need to be the one to teach him how.

“He’s welcome any time, love. You and he both. You know that.”

Emma nodded, running her fingertips across the telescope thoughtfully. Killian knew she was thinking of that possibility, and he saw no signs of discomfort on her face. She just appeared to be thinking about what that might be like and what it would mean to bring her son to this place. Eventually Emma looked at him again, and when she did there was a light in her green eyes not provided by the lantern or the nearly full moon. It was something else, something warm and wonderful. A moment passed where there was so much left unsaid, but then she smiled and asked him to show her what to do. He was eager to do so, finding with relative ease all the big constellations and visible planets on this clear, summer’s night.

“Which constellation means the most to you?” Emma asked. He noticed that she hadn’t asked which one was his favorite. She had purposefully worded her query with the intention of understanding him. Tonight they both wanted to learn as much as they could about each other. It had been a theme throughout dinner and beyond, and for the first time he felt able to give that openness to someone. She may not realize how much this particular question meant, but he wanted to share it all the same.

“Aquila,” he replied, aiming the telescope to where it should be in the inky night sky. It took a few moments, but he found it sure enough, and he passed the scope to Emma with careful fingers so as not to move the lens. She took it in, looking at the stars, some brighter than others. She wouldn’t be able to see the design, or the lines that star maps always filled in, but that wasn’t important. It was the story behind this choice that mattered.

“It’s beautiful,” Emma said quietly. “What does it mean to you?”

“Aquila is the eagle constellation, part of the Herculean star systems. You can see the wings up top, and the bulk of the body below,” Emma nodded, her eyes staying trained in the telescope, giving him a bit more time to rein in his feelings before carrying on. “Aquila has long been associated with warriors, and so being in the navy, that connection always drew some attention. But it’s not the only fighting symbol. It’s not the strongest or most dominant. Most people who know of stars appreciate the constellation, yet cite others as more impressive or important.”

“But not you,” Emma said, looking back at him and coming to sit beside him on the outside lounger. Her hand came back to his and she gave a soft squeeze, pushing him forward.

“My affinity for this particular constellation has to do with the number in the grouping itself. There are ten stars in the assemblage.” He took a steadying breath and said the rest. “The same amount of sailors I’ve lost on my watch.”

Killian took another pause, steadying himself as the faces of those soldiers graced his memory. Despite the effects of time, he remembered each one of them, and sadly he vividly recalled their passings too. None had been easy losses, almost all had been in active combat, and most never had real resolutions. The killers got away, or were untraceable. There was no avenging these fallen brothers and sisters, there was only forward motion. Survival dictated they all carry on, but Killian’s heart required that he carry the fallen with him. He would not let them be forgotten. Indeed, the smallest thing he could do was see them in the stars each night.

“On a ship or on deployment, there are lots of open spaces. The night sky is a constant. Clouds may come, and so does fighting, but if you live through the day, the stars remain. They teach all sailors in the royal navy about the stars. Navigating by them might not be necessary anymore, but it’s a skill we’re expected to harness. The stars were also familiar. I had gazed upon them as a boy, not so unlike tonight. Liam and I used to enjoy such things, in the summer especially. For a long time, when I saw the stars, I thought of home. I thought of my family, and I took strength from that.

“But as much as the stars were a comfort, they were also witness to some of the worst moments of my life. When I experienced real fear and real loss in the field the first time, it was dark out, the peak of night, where stars are brightest. We were ambushed, a number of us were wounded, and we lost a life. Lieutenant Smee was nearly finished with the service. He had three weeks left, but death doesn’t respect such things.”

As he remembered that first lost, Killian still felt the weight of that realization. He’d known going into the service that risk was a part of things, but it made it all so much more real to have someone die in front of him. At that time he couldn’t understand why things happened that way, and he’d felt completely unmoored from any concept of a higher power. If endings were arbitrary and life came crashing down so unexpectedly all the time, what did that mean for the rest of them? What were they fighting for? And was any of it worth it?

“The next night I couldn’t sleep. I felt too much guilt,” he explained, looking down at Emma’s hands on him and using that as a lifeline in these murky feelings from his past.  “We were sleeping and a man was dead, a family was broken, a dream was erased. I looked at the stars all night. This time I felt my ties back home and I also saw the scars I was forming. But even still, every night thereafter I looked at them. Loss came at any time, under the night sky, in a rainstorm, or in the blazing sun. Every time it did, I added a face to see. Soon I had enough to merit picking a specific group. At one time I prayed I would never come to need Aquila, and when I did need it, I prayed to never need another. Ten souls lost was ten too many.”

By now Emma was wrapped up beside him, her embrace having grown more supportive as he continued on, and despite the weight of the memories, he didn’t feel overwhelmed. There wasn’t darkness in full. It was like the sky tonight. There was deep, obscure patches, but light overall. That’s what Emma did for him. She lit him up and made his world so much brighter in the process. It also helped that as he continued on, telling stories of the people he’d lost she never flinched. She sat there calmly, attentively, and supportively. She held him, and when he felt he could say no more tonight she looked at him, with unshed tears and true affection that helped him feel like everything might be okay.

“That was the first time you’ve told anyone any of this, wasn’t it?” he nodded. She curled up closer to him, quietly telling him that she knew how much that meant.

“Aye, but it won’t be the last. I’ve made arrangements to meet with a naval counselor. I never intended to, but today I made the call.”

“What changed your mind?” she asked, clearly glad for his choice but holding off on her opinion.

“You,” he said honestly. “I would really like the chance to be in your life, Emma. You and Henry both. I hope I’ve made that clear by now, but I need to know for myself that I can give you everything I want safely. I still have nightmares and bad moments. I have scars as you now realize, and I want to understand them so I can be better for you, and for me.”

“You’re already more than enough, Killian.” Again she cupped his face, looking at him with what could only be described as love. Whether it was said or unsaid, Killian knew that Emma loved him, and that she was proud of him, despite everything he’d seen and done. It humbled him to feel that, and he knew he could never go another day without it. She was everything and so much more. “As someone who has needed help for my own demons though, I know how good sharing your stories will be. I used to be so afraid about being enough for Henry, about messing him up because of what I’d been through. I know you know the basics, but the truth is I was in more than a dozen placements in sixteen years, and that kind of constant change and upheaval and rejection takes a toll on a kid.”

Killian could not imagine how anyone could meet Emma and not want to keep her. To think of all the places that she’d landed that didn’t fight for her, that didn’t realize what a good and honest person she was made him sick. He knew she’d been through agony as a child, but he never imagined it could be so bleak.

“When I finally split, I still couldn’t find roots, no matter how hard I tried. I was desperate for them. I had no money and nowhere to go. I just… wandered. I’d have given anything for a family or even just friends, but I didn’t trust anyone enough to really let them in. I just needed to survive, and I couldn’t get to a stable enough place to feel like I could take a breath, never mind live a real life. Neal was the first person who helped me, and I made an exception for him. I let him past my walls, and I trusted in him.”

It wasn’t easy to hear Emma speak of a past love, but the look in her eyes told him there was no lingering emotion for this man he knew was Henry’s father. She may have loved him at one time, but that love was now gone. There wasn’t anger or hurt either, there was just calm, like she’d already made peace with every part of this sad story.  

“It was good between us for a while, and I was young and I wanted to love and be loved. As soon as I let him in, that was it. He had my loyalty and my heart. I’d have done anything for him. I thought he could be that connection I was needing, but my desperation clouded my judgment. I couldn’t see what was right in front of me. I knew he wasn’t always on the right side of the law, but he always did right by me. I could see past his choices because he loved me and because he did these things for us. That’s what he always said, ‘I’m doing this for us.’ He also never involved me, and he made me feel protected. The world was a rough place, but we’d make it through. He’d get us through, that’s what he said. By the time I realized what kind of man he really was though, everything had gone wrong. He got caught stealing all sorts of shit, and he ran. Not only did he run, he tried to set me up for what he did to get the heat off of him. I almost went to prison. Not jail, but prison, for grand theft.”

Killian could understand more and more now why she had felt extra sensitive to the differences between them. As a Prince, his life and the lives of his loved ones would be under scrutiny always. She probably worried he would hear this and resent it, but he never could. He was livid at the fact that a man had ever hurt Emma this way, that he’d been coward enough to let her take the fall. But he was stunned at her perseverance. Somehow she’d gotten through that, and he was awed by the strength such growth must take.

“The only reason I was let go and my arrest was never recorded was because a good Samaritan called into the cops and provided my alibi. I had been in the park all day, studying for the last of my tests I needed to pass my GED. She and her dog were out there and the dog got off leash. I helped her wrangle the little guy at the same time as the robbery clear across the city. With her testimony they had nothing on me, and they realized they were going to charge me with something I had nothing to do with. I was let go, but yet again I was left with nothing. I had to start over again and it was so hard to do. Then a few months later I realized I was pregnant with Henry. I was so scared. I really didn’t think I could do it, but my state sponsored counselor ended up being a great help. She got me on the road to making things better, and she helped me see the circumstances of my life were out of my control. She said something I thought was unique, but it’s something I hear Anna say to the kids all the time at the center.”

“All you can do is the next right thing,” Killian echoed, and Emma nodded.

“I don’t think I always get it right, but I try to, and looking back I can honestly say that I’m proud of the last ten years. It wasn’t always easy, but we are here and here is…” Emma’s face colored with a soft, thoughtful smile and he could tell that she was thinking of her boy and how their life together was. Killian couldn’t help but feel tremendous pride in Emma and awe at all she had done. She was truly a survivor, and it was clear that the choices she’d made since then had all been guided by a want to do right by herself and by her son.

“Here is…?” Killian hedged, wanting to hear her put it into words. Now her eyes met his and they flickered, turning warm and sultry.

“Here is proving to be better and better, in no small part because of you.”

It was difficult to tell which of them started the kiss they shared then, but Killian savored every moment of it. They were out there together, under the stars and enjoying the quiet peace here away from the world. He wanted to get lost in it, to hold Emma tight from this point on and never have to pull back. Before their evening began he’d already envisioned his future lay with Emma, but now he could see it all here. The two of them together, choosing each other, building a life. Henry was here, and maybe someday other children. He’d be with his family, but they’d live on their own. He didn’t know how, but he felt that he could. He could craft a story for them here, and he just prayed that Emma felt inclined to do the same. Her actions tonight stoked that hope, and the taste of her kiss and the feel of her hands on him revived anything that he’d lost in his recent journey back through the past. Soon enough he was restored, feeling better than he ever had, and content that after so long he truly had found everything that he wanted.

“I wish this night never had to end,” Emma said wistfully some time later. Her lips swollen from their interlude and her golden hair bearing a slightly different shape from where his fingers had twined through. She was more beautiful than ever, here under the moonlight and in the lantern’s golden glow. And though they’d done nothing more than typical first date customs would allow, Killian would never know. He’d never felt so satisfied, and he shuttered to think of what he’d feel when they truly came together.

“I feel the same, love, but I promise – ehrm rather, I hope – that it won’t be the last.”

He shouldn’t have been so presumptuous as to assume she’d want another date with him. Of course he felt her desire and her want to be with him, but this situation was different than most other couples giving things a try. Perhaps she would realize she didn’t actually want to date a prince, undeniable attraction be damned. But God if she ended this then –

Before his thoughts could spiral, Emma pulled him for another searing kiss, one that left no room for outside worries or despair. There was only Emma, and god she was a wonder. He was dizzy from her by the time they broke apart, and his heart lurched at the seductive smile she tossed his way.

“Any chance you’re free on Tuesday?” Emma asked, filling his heart with relief before adding an even sweeter sensation directly thereafter. “Henry’s going straight from camp to dinner at a friend’s house but he’ll back for dessert. We’re having…” she trailed off and blushed and now Killian was too curious to be polite.

“What is it love?”

“Apple pie and ice cream.”

“How endearingly American.”

“I swear we’re doing our best to immerse ourselves, but sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants,” she said with a shrug and he chuckled, running his hand along her cheek and watching her green eyes darken with the immediate interest that flared once more.

“I can think of nothing I’d like more than to see you and Henry again, love. Dessert sounds divine, whatever is on the menu”

“And dinner?” she asked, licking her lips and making him want another taste even though he’d had one just moments ago.

“If you’ll place your trust in me, I have just the spot in mind. It’s in the city, and we’ll be assured of total privacy.”

“Perfect,” she whispered, leaning into him as they stood and as he took her hand, leading her down the outdoor path once more.

And though it hurt to say goodbye when he drove her back home, so much so that Killian couldn’t bear to say the words, opting instead for a ‘See you soon, Swan’ and a final stolen kiss, he was comforted in knowing that this night was not the end. Instead, it was a beautiful beginning, one his instincts told him would lead him to the best moments of his life for now and always.

Post-Note: So there we have it – another CS first date in the books. I hope that you have enjoyed this chapter. For me it was a real relief to write this, both because I wanted to get to this moment, but also because I crafted it in the midst of a maddeningly busy part of my program. The good news is I have moved to my final stage and successfully passed, so I’ll soon be out of the thick of my crazy time consuming studies. Still, I may be sporadically posting for a little bit as I settle into my new normal post-school. All that being said, this chapter helped me destress and surround myself in fluff, even while dealing with some harder issues in Emma and Killian’s pasts. Please rest assured that Emma and Killian move forward from this moment with nothing but hope and good vibes. My plan for this fic has always been about 12 chapters, and I think I will land right there when all is said and done, and I promise to get back to this fic as soon as I can. In the meantime, I appreciate all of you so much for your continued support and kind words. They mean so much to me and I carry them always. Thanks again and hope you have a great rest of your weekend!

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