Tumgik
#for once i have absolutely no commentary to add to this
askagamedev · 2 days
Note
Hello. Do you think having a game programming YouTube channel can be useful as a portfolio? Like recreating game mechanics from existing games or creating new ones, and explaining my thoughts and decisions through the videos. Similar to Artstation for artists, but in this case for programming.
I do like the idea of having an online portfolio where a candidate can showcase their skills, but I am not sure that a youtube channel is the ideal platform for it. I can see good gains to be had from doing so, but there are also non-trivial drawbacks. I'll explain what I mean.
Tumblr media
First, doing personal game development projects earns top marks. There's no better way to stand out as a candidate than to have experience doing that work already and game development is no exception. Show us that you can do the job by doing similar work. Earning experience as an amateur will translate to leveling up as a professional.
Tumblr media
Second, there's definitely a lot of benefit to practicing communication skills which you get from posting for public consumption. My own personal ability to communicate has improved significantly since I began this blog. The regular practice of posting to the blog has honed my skill at taking difficult, technical, and/or complex concepts and conveying them in an intuitive and understandable way. These are extremely helpful skills in a professional setting, especially when communicating with others who are not versed in the technical or design context.
There are also two drawbacks I see here.
Tumblr media
The first drawback is in the choice of platform. Video production is extremely time-consuming - at the very least you will need to record the needed footage, write and record the commentary, add any needed visual bits (e.g. intro, outro, key art, transitions, etc.) and (most time-consuming of all) edit each video together. Most of these skills are not directly transferable to game development and are the primary reason I decided against going the Youtube route for myself.
Tumblr media
The second drawback is in the public-facing nature of posting your work. If you get hired by a game company, you will become a corporate representative to the players of that company's games 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Your personal public posts will likely be read and dissected by the game's fans and used as potential ammunition against your employer. It is not abnormal for public blogs and the like to need shutting down (either temporarily or permanently) once you get hired. It may become a legal liability and that's not something you want to deal with while juggling a full-time job. I avoid this by staying anonymous but it's a double-edged sword - I must also forgo the benefit of having a public portfolio that I can show to potential employers.
Tumblr media
That's basically the rundown. There's a lot to be gained from doing personal game dev work and posting it publicly, but you don't need to go all or nothing. There are really good skills you will develop by doing so, but you should absolutely be mindful of the major drawbacks of doing so in a public venue. I would encourage you to consider these issues and find a solution that you think will work best for you.
[Join us on Discord] and/or [Support us on Patreon]
Got a burning question you want answered?
Short questions: Ask a Game Dev on Twitter
Long questions: Ask a Game Dev on Tumblr
Frequent Questions: The FAQ
21 notes · View notes
coveredinsun · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media
2K notes · View notes
eloise-t-g · 10 days
Text
i think for me, the watcher situation comes down to this:
it's absolutely respectable that the watcher team wants to grow and produce better quality content. it's respectable that they don't want to stagnate and end up pushing the same content out over and over again. that's not satisfying for them creatively, i get that.
however, if higher quality, more heavily produced content is not what your fans are asking for, then you can't ask them to fund it.
this all-or-nothing method they've gone for is frankly bizarre. it feels like they leap-frogged all other alternatives to improving their finances and ended up here, alienating and frustrating the majority of their fanbase (the fanbase they thanked for getting them to where they are).
i think this could have gone a lot better if they:
Hadn't hyped up this video for a week.
Hadn't announced the worth it successor just beforehand.
Hadn't put out a wishy-washy, "boo hoo we're so sad about this", over-produced video.
Hadn't made it $6/month (more in a lot of countries given exchange rates).
Had considered that this means fans in specific countries literally cannot pay for the subscription due to geo/region-locking.
my ideas for improving their funds, aka things they could have tried before blowing their brand up: create their own website with two options - a free version with ads and a paid version without ads, OR make better use of their patreon/make their website extra content, not all their content, for example:
Put the ghost file debriefs on there.
Put shows like survival mode on there (or even shift that show from pre-recorded video to live-stream - live stream access to patrons and VOD access to everyone, maybe).
Put episode commentaries there.
Do reaction videos to their old buzzfeed content, talk about memories and BTS, and put that there.
Put one/two episodes of each show, per season on there (and ONLY there).
Put the episodes up there a few days early.
Make specific, website only content (that's not your main and most popular series aka ghost files and puppet history).
Record the live, in-person shows and put those VODs up there.
EDIT (thought of something else lmao): put extended or even uncut versions of ghost files on there. Paranormal Detour on Detune's twitch channel has shown that people will willingly sit through 6+ hours of a ghost investigation.
EDIT: idk, do livestreams once a week where you watch scary movies with fans on discord or twitch.
(side note: the fact that they're not taking down their patreon and instead shifting all of their podcast content on there, something the patreons who have been loyally giving them money for years didn't ask for, is ridiculous and greedy. add to this the fact that they don't even get a free sub to the new website, instead get 40% off - a measly 10% more than anyone else who subs before the official launch).
the thing for me is that they're claiming they want to make "television" and "television-grade content". that's completely fine. what's not completely fine is acting like your four episodes a month is equal to netflix's entire catalogue.
this really felt like it should have been something they told us they were progressing towards, not something they revealed to be on the imminent horizon. idk, it just feels out of nowhere. no, they don't owe us all of the info about their company. but something had to be better than this.
final thought - it's okay and valid to be upset at the team for this. for a lot of people, it's a complete betrayal (especially the comment that $6 a month is something "anyone and everyone can afford", i mean yikes). i do think some people's anger got the best of them, and some of the comments i've seen across youtube, twitter, and tumblr are plain bullying, racism, and harassment. until we have the whole story, we can't decide that one founder (aka steven in a lot of people's minds) is solely responsible. i know a lot of these awful things are only coming from a small minority of the fandom, but they still get seen.
at the end of the day, all three of them got up in front of a camera and made this video, together. that can only lead us to the conclusion that they made this decision together. acting like these men in their 30s couldn't stand up against it if they truly wanted to, is so strange and parasocial lmao.
tl;dr there were much better ways of going about this announcement, if it even needed to be made at all. however, that doesn't excuse the hateful shit being spewed at the team. for now, all we know is the three founders decided they were done with youtube, and done with their loyal youtube audience.
(i have so many more thoughts on this but i need to stop lmao. however i do wonder how different things could have been if 1. they had hired someone with actual business experience as their CEO from the jump, and 2. this video was more of a "hey we're broke! this is a last-ditch effort to save our company!". guess those questions will remain ... well ... you know ...).
573 notes · View notes
damazcuz · 2 years
Note
One more question(for now) why do people on tumblr use tags to talk #like this #about whatever they think of the post, instead of just commenting on the reblog😭 Is there an etiquette I'm missing?
short answer: yes.
long answer, there is an etiquette to it, and I think it's a longstanding thing that just ended up ingrained in a lot of users, which comes off as cold/shy/outlandish or maybe even standoffish to people from other sites and apps. there's no be-all end-all of how to act online or on here but i think in terms of most* people (*speaking broadly, making this up) who've used tumblr for a while it feels like this:
tumblr is a theater, the dashboard is a stage, each post is a performance. (a joke, a dramatic act, a story, a movie, a picture, etc.) you have a variety of ways to interact with the performance, but some of them are going to be more frowned upon--based purely on how the long standing visitors of the theater are used to acting, honestly.
likes are a polite applause, but they don't show anyone outside of the theater that you enjoyed yourself, or what you enjoyed. the performer appreciates the applause but does not garner any new viewers when you only like a post, btw.
silent reblogs mean you exit the theater with merch or a leaflet and go show it to other people. look what i saw on the stage, don't you want to see it too. this shows the performance to a new variety of viewers, who might then also show it to others.
replies and reblogs with content are often seen as """"rude"""" because they're like standing up at the end of the performance and loudly saying "that was okay but I think MY take on things makes it just a BIT better." people are more forgiving of this when it's something universally true or acceptable, or when it's very funny. if it's not (and even if it is, sometimes,) there'll potentially be a reblog down the line making fun of it (and this is another person in the theater standing up and making a fart noise, regardless of how tasteless or rude.) it's never actually "wrong" to add comments on a reblog unless you're being intentionally hurtful, and it's normal to add commentary to a friend's post, but even then, people seeing this from the outside may see that as obnoxious and impolite and try to call you on it anyway. (people are very weird about enforcing what they see as a universal rule of etiquette, when this is admittedly the only site where you'll be punished for adding to the discussion.)
and again, this is an absolutely arbitrary rule because what one person finds universally true and hilarious, another will find trite and stupid and too niche. the polite thing to do in the case of the latter is just reblog from further up the chain than the commenter, but people aren't always nice when they're annoyed.
getting to your actual question now, comments in the tags are a way to leave remarks that you DON'T want to shout to the whole theater. these are you whispering to yourself or your friend, or writing in a guestbook on the way out. people can see/hear it if they go looking for it, but you're not shouting over the performance to get your piece out. it's polite because it's unobstructive and doesn't take up space, and if your tags don't make sense to someone else or seem too niche, they don't have to share the post with your commentary attached.
adjacent to this, "peer review" or screenshotting someone's tags to insert them in the post is like if you did whisper to your friend, then your friend wrote your comments on a whiteboard and held it up for others to see. as this is a form of commentary within the reblog, it's again subject to an arbitrary universal/niche rule. just because a tag gets peer reviewed doesn't mean it's beyond reproach by strangers.
also in line with this general line of thought experiment, blazing a post means that between acts, you run up on the stage and start shouting your piece. it is, once again, going to be more acceptable to strangers to see you do this if it's something universally funny, true, or cute. this is why niche fandom posts, vent posts, and self promotions get ignored or booed down, while pet birthday photos and silly jokes get blazed and get a lot of notes regardless.
lastly, a kungpowpenis is when twelve+ individuals from the audience get up and beat the shit out of the person performing on stage and leave their corpse on display in the town square.
14K notes · View notes
mistydeyes · 8 months
Note
hey, can i please request headcanons of 141 boys with reader that is a youtuber?
omg yes ofc! i used to (and still am) a HUGE YOUTUBE WATCHER so this was so fun to do :) thank you again for requesting!
vidcon but the uk version
Tumblr media
┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊
summary: You're not any regular civilian, you're a Youtuber ;) In all seriousness, here's some headcanons of how the boys interact with your channel and support you!
pairing: 141 x YouTuber!Reader
warnings: swearing
┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊
price - beauty and skincare
you were already big on YouTube when you met John
he can't go into a Sephora without someone mentioning your latest video or TikTok
someone would assume you were an employee based on how you were able to help the fan pick out the best skincare and makeup
he was shocked at the sheer number of brand deals you participate in
he also is in awe at the corner you had dedicated to your ring light and makeup desk with a nice camera set-up
when you eventually move in together, he's just used to the number of parcels you get daily
he will insist on at least giving you some money when you do a beauty haul (even though you tell him you don't need it)
one time he tried to surprise you by picking out some things that you mentioned
now your most popular video is “trying out makeup that my boyfriend picked out”
his only annoyance is when you accidentally stain one of the face towels
eventually just buys a new set meant specifically for you when you wash off a look
you're planning on having a new video where you do skincare on him and finally get at some of his blackheads
soap - gaming
prior to meeting Johnny, you already had a sizable channel
you primarily did long lets plays and the occasional stream
your setup is absolutely gorgeous -i'm talking led lights, two monitors that have the best processing power, pro gaming chair, and posters
it took awhile to curate but it's your baby and you make sure he knows that
loves watching you game and will occasionally keep you company for those long streams
it reminds him of when his younger siblings would watch him game on their early Playstation and X-Box consoles
your subscribers love when he's there though because he has the best reactions
your most popular video? "my boyfriend plays five nights at freddy's ⚠️headphone warning⚠️"
despite having amazing technical skills on the field, his multitasking sucked and he would always forget to check on foxy or overuse the battery
you had a great time editing the video after and emphasizing the jumpscares
he won't subject you to rewatching your videos with him but he likes watching other channels or collars you've done
"This guy is absolute shite" "I know, that's why I don't play multiplayer with him anymore"
he'll be so excited if you ever get invited to a big event like Pax, E3, or Gamescom
you basically have to keep him on track as he loves stopping in artist's alley and looking at all the trinkets and merch people are selling
make sure to bring a huge suitcase because your game room is getting a few new additions
gaz - internet documentaries
think of Internet Historian or Down the Rabbit Hole vibe
your channel is dedicated to internet phenomena like Florida Man or the movement to Storm Area 51
you'd tell the facts of the trend and then add a few funny commentary pieces
usually your videos are 45 min to an 1 hr long so a lot of work goes into it
it's more of a hobby than anything but Kyle always thinks the amount of research you do for it is insane
"Babe I think you need a new laptop" "Why?" "I always know you're about to make a new docu-series because it sounds like a fucking airplane takin off"
once your laptop doesn't sound like its going to blow up, he'll be sure to keep you company as you write down your script
"Did you know that there was a convention for X or X happened?" is how most of your conversations go
he'll always smile and let you give him a spark notes version of what happened
will be the one telling you too sleep and that you can continue editing tomorrow
loves when companies send you things for ad reads
hoards all of the items from Dollar Shave Club and Raycon (his absolute favorite sponsor of yours)
he'll occasionally watch your videos while he's cooking or at the gym
always loves learning something new even if its about a failed furry convention
"I liked your latest video" is such a huge compliment from him because he knows how much effort you put into it
he'll occasionally feed you ideas that he sees while he's scrolling through social media
"You should do something on Hat Man" "WHO??" "Yk the guy you see when you take too much Benadryl, apparently Soap sees him too"
ghost - asmr
tbh doesn’t think much about your channel
you’ll just occasionally leave the room to record or crack some slime in front of a camera
however when your channel is mentioned in conversation, he considers revisiting
“have you heard about this asmr thing?” Gaz asked the group and Soap immediately interjected
“OH YEAH some of them are amazing to watch alone,” he said with a wink
“Like this account-“ Soap wasn’t able to finish his sentence before Ghost snatched the phone out of his hand
“Sorry just couldn’t see it” he apologized and he tried to suppress his disgust that someone else was listening to you at night like that
after that, he takes another look and watches a few of your more popular videos
ofc its your series roleplaying as a nurse or doctor taking care of someone
as well as one where you act like a sleepy girlfriend waking up next to their significant other
he will never say that he watches your videos but you do notice the uptick in views and likes (it's a cute little secret of his)
one time you attempted to ask all these questions about being in the military to help you write dialogue for your latest combat medic series
"People seriously want stuff like that?" "You'll be surprised, not tell me what you usually have in your pack"
he will cringe when you pull your asmr voice on him and whisper in your ear
"Cut that shit out."
570 notes · View notes
elizabethwritesmen · 7 months
Text
I once was poison ivy
Tumblr media
╔══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╗
Part 2 but now I’m your daisy
Older!Fireman!Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader
Synopsis - You've spent your entire life taking men who intend to manipulate you and manipulating them instead. It's the only way you know how to survive. Then, one day, you meet Steve Harrington and you realize love and lust are so much more than survival.
A/N - This will be a two-parter. Maybe three if it runs too long.
Warnings: Fluff, sexual themes, smut to come in the second part, talks of using men for their money, vivid description of a car accident, drunk driving.
╚══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╝
I've been breaking hearts a long time and Fooling with them older guys Just playthings for me to use
The napkin on my lap was in pieces.
I'd been tearing it apart, whether out of anxious habit or sheer boredom I wasn't sure.
The man sitting across from me just would not stop talking. He started the second I met up with him in the parking lot and hadn't closed his mouth since. I nodded along and provided just enough commentary to seem present, but my brain was miles away.
He cleared his throat, staring at me pointedly until I met his eyes, a saccharine smile gracing my face.
"Are you alright, doll? I know all this shop talk can be a lot for a pretty girl like you to keep up with," he stated with all the confidence in the world, and I fought a scoff at his condescension.
"Oh, I'm fine!" I grinned wildly, almost childlike, "To be honest, I'm just in awe of you. Absolutely fascinated. I keep asking myself what I did to deserve a date with you!"
The lies cut through my teeth like butter, slick and smooth. I knew they worked when he puffed out his chest and a red tint covered his full cheeks, "Well darling, if you keep talking to me like that, you'll get more than one date with me!"
"There's nothing I'd love more!"
I know I should've cursed him for all he was worth, but that's not how my lifestyle worked. I didn't care how much of a pig a man was, as long as his money was louder than his mouth. And this man's money definitely was.
You see, he was older, a business man. He worked at some high end finance job, and he was most definitely the boss. I met him through my own job. I was a waitress and he frequented my corner booth on his lunch breaks. He knew my schedule and came to eat every single day I worked at 12:00 sharp with a new story about his job, his divorce, or his 1970 Chevelle. On the days I didn't work, he stayed away, claiming I was the only girl there worth looking at. And, every time, he left me a crisp 100 as a tip.
The last time he'd come in, he'd ended his lunch by asking me on a date. He told me he wanted to pick a dress out for me and treat me to the nicest dinner I'd ever had. Poor thing had no idea he wasn't the first millionaire to offer that. I agreed happily, pushing down any reservations and forcing myself to look forward to it.
So there we were, at one of those restaurants where you have to dress formally and use certain etiquette. I hated those places, I knew I didn't belong there, but it was what I had to do and I always did it with a smile on my face.
He continued talking and I began fiddling with the Versace dress adorning me, tugging on the hem. I only heard snippets of what he was saying. After hearing a million men tell the same stories, I thought there was no reason to pay any real attention.
Our waitress startled me out of the trance I'd fallen into, dropping the check off at our table.
"Here," he smiled, placing $200 neatly in the little black book, "That's enough for you to add a cheesecake to-go for my beautiful companion, and to buy something pretty for yourself!"
The girl's eyes widened and she grinned, staring at the generous amount she'd been given. It took her mere moments to bring by a bag with the cheesecake in a box at the bottom, and I was finally done.
"I'll walk you to your car," Mr. Boring offered in a way that I couldn't possibly refuse.
Well, almost done.
Once we reached my Passat, he pressed me lightly against the driver's door and planted a sloppy kiss on my lips. I cringed my way through it until it was finally over, and he opened my door for me.
"Maybe we can go out again next week?" he proposed, "I'll call you and we can set it up."
"Of course!" I nodded, eagerly climbing into the seat.
"Oh, and before I forget," he sighed, pulling his wallet from his pocket and fishing out two more crisp hundred dollar bills, "This should cover gas and the rest is a thank-you for making an old man feel young again. Seeing you in that dress made my evening."
I smiled at him as he walked away, my expression dropping the second he was out of sight. And then, I was finally headed home.
Something happened for the first time In the darkest little paradise Shaking, pacing, I just need you
It was about a 30 minute drive to my house, and I had the music cranked up the entire way. I was passing through the last intersection before my highway exit when I saw something out of the corner of my eye.
It was an SUV, much bigger than my car, headed straight for me. It was going so fast but in that moment time slowed down. It was too late for me to stop or get out of the way, I knew I was screwed. I yanked the wheel to the right, hoping they wouldn't hit me directly. I thought that if they caught the back end of my car it would hurt less.
They slammed into the back driver's side door, just barely missing me, sending me careening across the highway and into the ditch. I screamed as my head slammed into my window, blood running down my temple and onto my neck.
Finally, everything stopped. My car was, beyond all rationality, still playing music. I turned it all the way down, looking around.
The SUV was upside down on the highway, engulfed in flames. I saw a man laying about 20 feet away from it on the asphalt. I prayed he was okay, and that nobody else was in his vehicle.
Then, I examined myself. Glass had shattered everywhere, and there was a pile of it in my lap. My poor Versace was tattered and bloody, and I frowned momentarily in a small fit of grief. The back of my car was completely done for, and I was shocked my airbags didn't go off. Of course, there was no impact to the front of my car.
It only took minutes for sirens to overtake the scene. There were two ambulances, a firetruck, and several police cars.
I slipped my seatbelt off, groaning at the pain. It felt like I'd been hit by a truck. I guess I had, in a manner of speaking. My body was suffering from the turmoil.
Shockingly, my door opened when I pulled the handle and I climbed out, falling to the ground with a cry and a sharp wince.
"Hey, hey, hey!" the voice was deep, and I glanced up to see the fireman it belonged to running in my direction, "Don't move, just stay still. Please, stay still. God, you could've died trying to climb out of that car. Too tough for your own good!" He kneeled beside me, his arms holding me up, his eyes scanning me for all signs of injury. "Here you go, calm down. It's okay now, I've got you."
His voice was soothing me, and so was his thumb as he rubbed calming circles on my hip.
"Please," I cried, my voice almost too small to be audible. I squirmed, trying and failing to break free, "I need... I need..."
I wasn't sure what I was pleading for. I just wanted relief. My bones felt like they were combusting.
"I'm gonna get you some help, sweetheart, I promise. You're safe with me." He called the paramedics over to have a look at me. They ran straight for us and he lifted me up placing me comfortably on the stretcher.
As he began to walk away, I called out meekly, "Please stay with me!" and reached blindly for his hand. He gave it to me and nodded, squeezing my palm lightly as he helped them wheel me to the ambulance. They got me inside of it and starting poking and prodding, asking me questions.
"I don't want to go to the hospital," I whined, "I'm fine, I don't need a hospital."
"We gotta get you to the hospital, sweetheart. I'm sorry, I know it's scary, but you're tough though, huh?," his voice was still so soothing, and I nodded, holding tighter to his hand that was still intertwined with mine.
"Will you come with me?" I stared up at him, my eyes wide and pitiful in a beg.
"I can't, I have to get back and help clean all this up," he told me, his voice regretful.
"Please," I was whimpering at that point, desperate. I hated begging but he was the only thing keeping me from an anxiety attack. The only thing grounding me. The only thing keeping me from asking questions like, what if I'm seriously hurt? What's going to happen with my car? Is my cheesecake okay? How am I going to replace this dress?
Okay, some of the questions were silly but cut me some slack. I'd just been hit by a truck.
He chewed his lip in thought for a moment before sighing, "Let me talk to my boss and see what I can do."
He was gone for about five minutes, but when he came back, he was only in a white T shirt and his turnout pants. He set his jacket and hat on the bench seat next to me and climbed in beside me, grasping my hand again.
"Thank you," I whispered, and the sweet smile he gave me warmed my tummy.
Hours passed in a flurry of medical stuff I didn't understand and tests being run. When everything calmed down, I was sitting on a bed in an ER, a thick medical grade bandaid on my temple where I hit the window and some pain killers in my system. Fortunately, I wasn't hurt badly at all, just extremely sore and shaken up. I had a concussion, but that was the brunt of it.
"Okay, Miss L/N. I've got a prescription here for painkillers, it should help soothe your soreness and your headache. Other than that, you're free to go," the doctor walked in the room and told me jovially. He was nice, he made me feel comfortable. I was thankful to have him instead of someone colder. But what really made me feel comfortable was the firefighter, whose name I'd discovered was Steve. He stayed right beside me the entire time, even when I was first admitted. He even called my mom for me when I was first admitted, and that's the only time he let go of my hand.
"I think that's all, thank you," I sincerely responded.
"Great. Then I'll leave you be. If anything else happens, come back. Concussions are no joke. But I'm sure Steve knows that, so you're in good hands. He'll take care of you," he gave us a pointed look, glancing from mine and Steve's interlaced fingers to our faces.
"Bye, Joe," Steve dramatized, rolling his eyes.
"Bye Steve. Bye Y/N," the doctor responded between laughs, taking his exit.
As soon as he was out of earshot, Steve turned to me, his hard features softening the second his eyes met mine.
"Have you heard anything else from my mom?" I asked, trying to keep the hope in my voice at bay.
"She checked on you once, about an hour ago. I told her I was taking care of you."
"Oh."
His eyes were boring into me, searching. I'm sure it seemed odd to him, a mother not immediately rushing to her child's side when she hears there's been an accident. Wasn't very strange to me, though. My mom had never spared much time for me.
He cleared his throat, speaking more quietly, "She said she wants me to get you home safe, so that's what I'm gonna do. One of the nurses is gonna give us a ride to the station and I'm gonna drive you from there."
"Well it's settled, then. Let's go," I beamed, grabbing his hand and hopping off the bed. I didn't make it very far, though, nearly collapsing the second my feet hit solid ground.
Steve was quick, catching me and holding me steady. I lifted my eyes and they met his, inches away. I could feel his breath, warm against my skin.
"Be careful there, Super Girl. You're too weak to take on the world just yet," he sighed, and I had to fight the urge to lean in.
He was handsome. I'd noticed it the second he ran over to me, my knight in dirty turnout gear. I'd noticed it again in the ambulance when he told me he could go to the hospital with me. And I noticed it as his arms squeezed me tighter.
"I can walk," I mumbled.
"I'm sure you can, but you aren't. Come on, I've got you," he stated, as if there was no room for argument or disagreement. One of the arms around me slipped down to the crook of my knees and he lifted, pulling me securely into his hold. I gasped, grasping tightly to his shirt, my nails leaving imprints in the soft fabric.
"Steve, I'm heavy!" I screeched, and he chuckled.
"Even if you were heavy, I can handle it," he said, like it was obvious. My stare stayed skeptical and he sighed, "Sweetheart, you're not heavy. You're nothing compared to the gear I wear and haul, and the people I have to carry out of buildings."
I stayed stubborn for a moment longer before giving him a slight nod, "If your back starts to break, put me down!"
"I don't have any plans to put you down, sweetheart," he winked, and with that, he was carrying me to the ambulance bay where an Altima was waiting for us. One of the nurses was leaning against it. She was pretty, like a young Angelina Jolie. Her scrubs hugged every curve and jealousy pinged in my gut at how perfect she was. It turned to discomfort, though, when I saw the way she was looking at us.
There was a scowl plastered onto her face, full of judgment. Her eyes were stuck on Steve's arms around me, and if looks could kill, she'd have me dead in a second.
"Can you open the door for me, Bridget?" he asked, frustration laced in his voice from the way she was staring at us instead of helping.
"Of course, Stevie," she cooed, doing as she asked. He helped me in the back seat, going as far as to buckle the belt around me. My breath hitched as he did so, the proximity turning my cheeks bright red.
Bridget's face dropped as he slid in beside me and shut the door behind himself. She opened it right back, "What are you doing, Steve? Your spot is up front!"
"I'd rather sit back here with Y/N and make sure she's okay. Come on, we should get going. I'm sure she's ready to shower and rest."
She huffed, her anger embarrassingly evident, but she gave a slight nod and slammed the door, climbing into the driver's side and speeding off. My head was pounding, so I leaned on Steve's shoulder the whole time. Every now and then he'd shield me from the sun with his hands or run his fingers through my hair, keeping me as comfortable as he could.
Once we got to the fire station, he helped me out and we waved goodbye to Bridget. She gave me one more dirty look before leaving, and I hoped I would never see her again.
"There you are, Steve!" a voice joined into the mix, and I turned around to see a man about Steve's height with long curly hair approaching. He had a bag in his hand.
"Hey, Eddie," Steve greeted, "Thank you for covering my shift all night."
"All night and all morning. I'm assuming you won't be back after you take her home."
Steve looked bashful. It was cute, his cheeks turning red and his eyes averting downward.
"I promise I'll make it up to you, man. I just couldn't leave her, she needed me," he rushed out an explanation and I couldn't stifle my giggle.
"Yeah, sure she did. Come on, dude, I'm not mad. I needed the hours anyway and I'm not like you, I don't have a ton of beautiful women begging me to escort them to the hospital. My Friday night was all free."
"I don't have a ton of them either," Steve cried out defensively, "Just the one."
"Well then get her home before she decides she doesn't neeeeeeed you anymore," the other man, Eddie, winked then and turned to me, "Oh, by the way, I'm Eddie. Steve's best friend, confidant, life saver, shift coverer. I'm the reason he could be with you all night."
His tone was joking, so I played along, "Oh, well thank you so very much. I would've just died without him. As a matter of fact if he leaves my sight I'm sure I'll faint."
"Marry her," Eddie deadpanned, turning to Steve with the most ridiculously serious look on his face. The only response he got was an eyeroll. "Okay, whatever, get out of here. Here's the rest of your stuff, and what we managed to get out of Y/N's car. You can make the shift change up to me later." He handed Steve the bag and glanced my way, "And Y/N, I'm sure I'll be seeing you again. Until then, I'm glad you're okay."
Steve pulled his keys out of the bag, clicking them. A truck beeped across the parking lot and he wrapped his arm around me, helping me over to it.
The last we heard of Eddie was a scream over the parking lot, "Oh and Steve, put some clothes on that poor girl!"
He glanced down at my ripped up dress and blushed.
"Here," he handed me his turnout jacket, "Put this on."
I did as he asked and slipped back into his arms, allowing him to lift me into the passenger seat. I liked the way the material felt on me, warm and loose. It smelled of smoke but it also smelled of cinnamon and something muskier, all Steve.
As he pulled away, I decided to make small talk. It was a ten minute drive back to my house and I didn't want it to be awkward. Not that a single moment we'd already spent together had been. Steve had a way of making me feel like I was finally safe at home.
"Bridget and Eddie seemed nice," I commented. Obviously, I didn't mean the first part but I had a sinking feeling that Steve and Bridget were something of an item and I didn't want to upset him.
"Eddie is a great guy. We've known each other forever, and he's always had my back." He paused for a moment, "And Bridget was awful to you today. You don't have to pretend she wasn't."
"I just thought you and her were probably friends, or maybe even a thing, and I didn't want to say anything mean about her just in case," I smiled softly, apologetically.
"We're not. But she wants to be. She's a uniform chaser. She doesn't know the first thing about me other than my job."
"Do you get that a lot? Girls that are only interested in you because of what you do?"
"More often than you'd think. But it's okay. I guess it's better than not being wanted at all."
"You think if you were something else, something more boring, girls wouldn't want you?" My brows were furrowed in confusion. How could a man so wonderful have such a gaping insecurity?
"I didn't feel that way at first, but I guess I've become cynical over time."
"Well, I'm cynical with the best of them and I'm telling you that you're wrong," I started, "Don't get me wrong. The turnout gear is ruggedly sexy. Straight out of a calendar, really. But I wouldn't have wanted you to come to the hospital with me if you were any other fireman. I wanted you there because of how you made me feel. Safe, and taken care of."
Silence filled the air. I don't think he knew how to respond.
"What about you?" he finally asked, "That was a nice dress before it was ruined. You must've been on quite a date."
"I wouldn't call it that," I stared at my lap, color rising in my cheeks.
"Didn't go well?"
"It's not that, it's just... I wasn't really interested in him."
"What was wrong with him?"
"You ask a lot of questions," I breathed out a laugh, wanting a subject change. I felt shame, like if Steve found out the kind of men I date and why, he would drop me off and forget about me. I didn't want that. I craved more of him. More of his time, and his headspace. I hadn't known him long, but it's hard not to swoon over a man who spends hours of his time taking care of you.
"I'll stop. For now."
Shortly after he said that, we pulled into my driveway. He helped me out of his truck and into my house, commenting on how cute he thought everything was.
"Where's your bathroom? I'm gonna get the shower running for you," he turned to me and said.
"Oh," I blushed, "You don't have to do that. Really. I can manage to get around."
"I want to. I told you I would take care of you, and I'm not doing it halfway. Now should I go looking until I find it or are you gonna tell me where it is?"
"My room is down the hall, the bathroom is in there," I smiled shyly.
He didn't waste a second, pulling me back into him and let me lean on him the entire way there. I leaned against the sink as he looked around, taking the room in.
"A bath would probably be better than a shower. You're still weak, I don't want you to slip and hurt yourself."
I didn't respond, I just watched him as he turned the faucet on and felt the water, adjusting until the temperature was perfect.
"Thank you," I finally said as he finished up and stopped the drain.
"Of course. You gonna be able to get from the tub to the bed?" he asked me.
I giggled, nodding, "I think I'll manage."
"Okay... if you have any trouble or need anything, you're welcome to call me."
"How am I gonna do that without your number?"
His face went red, a silly smile crossing his lips, "Of course. You're right. Here."
He slipped his phone out, pulling up the screen to create a new contact and handed it to me. I quickly typed in my name and info and handed it back. He called me once, hanging up as soon as it rang, and nodded once affirmatively.
"There. Now you have mine, too."
"I'll call you, Steve."
"Yes, if you need anything at all."
"Okay."
He seemed reluctant to leave, and I was reluctant to let him, but he finally mumbled a goodbye and let himself out. I grinned into my hand, the butterflies still not settled.
I was not the kind of girl to feel things like I was feeling. I had a process, a way of getting through life, and it didn't involve getting hung up on the first handsome fireman I meet. I willed myself to come back to reality, but it was difficult. His face was stamped into my mind.
My phone pinged and I glanced down, his number filling my screen.
"I left my jacket. Can I stop by later and get it? And bring you dinner? I'd like to check on you anyway."
Any hope of coming back to reality flew out the window. I typed quickly and pressed send before I could talk myself out of it.
"It's a date."
280 notes · View notes
ivysangel · 16 days
Text
I am dead serious when I say that you guys need to start giving writers feedback more often. I have a fic here that has a total of 4015 notes and only 218 aren't likes. So, let me break this down for you a bit.
Of 4015 notes, 186 are reblogs and 32 are comments. Two reblogs, as well as comments, are mine so I'll subtract them from the equation making the total number of notes 4011 (184 rbs, 30 comments, 3,797 likes).
Of the 184 reblogs, 16 are private, meaning they're absolutely useless in spreading and sharing the piece. The remaining 168 consists of 136 reblogs falling under "other reblogs" while only 32 fall under "comments and tags." And of the 32 under "comments and tags," only 9 have something besides a copy of the tags that I included in my initial post.
The 184 reblogs make up 4.6% of the total notes, the reblogs under "comments and tags" make up 0.8% of the total notes, and the reblogs under "comments and tags" with anything besides tags copied from the initial post make up 0.2% of the total notes.
At one point, I reblogged the post, asking if anyone wanted a part two. That's when I got my first comments. The first 6 comments were in response to that, and of the 30 total comments (excluding my own), only two were unrelated to a part two. Which means I can guarantee that I wouldn't have had that many comments had I not posed the question of a sequel fic.
And if I add those 2 comments to the 9 reblogs, I get 0.3% of the total notes on my post that make up the portion of notes that aren't likes, empty reblogs, or comments about a part two. And that's me being generous because two of the reblogs actually do mention a part two.
I also posted a poll asking what people wanted in part two, and that poll got 238 votes. That is 54 people more who voted for what they wanted in a part two that didn't reblog or help push part one.
Don't get me wrong, I love seeing people in my notifs liking my posts, but sometimes it's just not enough. It is utterly exhausting waking up to multiple hundreds of notifications and not seeing a single person compliment your work. You guys will like stuff, follow, and then head straight to the inbox asking for more. I know it's been said a hundred times before, but we are not machines; we do this for free in our spare time.
The post in question was written when I was tired out of my mind, and I ended up not liking it, so I let it sit in my drafts. I briefly mentioned it on my blog and was met with one of my followers showing interest in the idea, which prompted me to revise, edit, and post it. It was a gift, as are all fics and pieces of art by writers and artists on this site, and yet it was treated like a commodity.
When people say it's unmotivating they're not kidding. When I had 100+ asks in my inbox, all of them being requests, I felt like I had the worst case of writers block known to man. I would open my inbox and immediately close it because the idea of posting anything knowing the only response would be more requests, was awful.
When people leave little messages in the tags, full-blown commentary, or kind messages in my inbox referencing posts, I feel more motivated than ever. Those responses are what drives me to write more. But when I, and other writers, are being treated like we're here to cook up whatever fantasisies you have in mind, I can't help but side-eye a little.
We wouldn't write if we didn't enjoy it, but the moment it feels like a job, it becomes that much less enjoyable, and then everybody loses. Just send a kind message to your favorite writers every once in a while. I promise it'll make their day.
I would also like to say that as I've written this, I've seen more people like that post. So, there's that.
119 notes · View notes
hainethehero · 3 months
Text
Steve Rogers Trauma: A TED TALK
Why is it that any kind of commentary/analysis on Steve Roger's trauma has to be met with comparisons to Bucky or Tony's trauma? Or most of the fanfics I read completely gloss over Steve's trauma?
Some of y'all legit do not care or are blind to Steve Roger's trauma throughout the Captain America & Avengers films and it shows. And this isn't hate to any fanfic writers but rather an observation of most stucky and stony fanfics which seem to minimize Steve's character & trauma in favour of highlighting their fave's. And of course it's fine that people want to write about Bucky or Tony or even Nat's trauma, but MOST TIMES* I've read these fics and they all have an intentional disregard for Steve's traumas.
And this speaks to the wider discourse around Tony, Bucky & Steve- the three characters most written about in mcu fanfics.
Because why is it that anytime I bring up Steve's PTSD or his illnesses or the hell he would've gone through pre-serum, people always HAVE to add in their 2cents about, "well yeah & Bucky went through worse." Like.???? No, I'm not talking about him.
I absolutely love Bucky and he's one of my favourite characters in both the comics and the MCU but, respectfully, this ain't about him.
I'm talking about Steve and his life. The crap he would've had to deal with both in public and at home. Especially the horrors both he and Sarah would've gone through because of Joseph Rogers who was a terrible person and an alcoholic who beat up on his wife and sickly kid.
And even post-serum when he's completely healthy and living in the future now, I'm still seeing popular narratives about "Yeah he's alive now & hasn't gone through half of what Bucky's endured over the past 70yrs." OR "He's had it easy compared to Bucky who was being tortured by HYDRA."
Um, no one's saying Bucky's treatment under HYDRA was a good thing??? But we're talking about Steve here, not Bucky?
And how he was literally frozen in a state of purgatory & how traumatic it would feel to be ripped out of it and then basically thrown to the new world on your ass without any kind of therapy or help. Most people make it seem like Steve was in a Sleeping Beauty kind of sleep and then woke up completely fine. And I will admit the MCU has been the main culprit of that narrative because they deleted so many scenes that humanized Steve Rogers, that now the gen pop thinks:
he's perfectly fine
has zero trauma
should complain about nothing
hasn't had it hard like Bucky or Tony
is a lesser hero because of all of the above
I recently had a convo with a friend & we were talking abt the scene in Avengers 1 when they were all at each other's throats. And they said that Tony was right about Steve being a laboratory experiment & everything special about him came out of a bottle. And I'm like... yeah nah, that's the lazy ass writing that Whedon perpetuated that now makes Steve one of the most misunderstood heroes & people in the MCU. Because he was special before the serum because of his consideration of others. He was special because not only did he hate bullies, but he also went out of his way to protect those that couldn't protect themselves KNOWING what that confrontation might cost him as a chronically sick person. Tony needed a whole ass arc about literally witnessing & living first hand what his weapons were doing to innocents like Yinsen & his people, to change his ways. Steve didn't have, nor did he need any of that to make him special. (AND BEFORE THE TONY STANS COME FOR ME, I LOVE TONY, HE'S LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVES IN THE MARVEL COMICS & MCU) But this hatred for Steve is ridiculous.
And once again, it's the MCUs fault because they made Tony the ultimate hero of the Avengers at the expense of Steve Rogers' character. Him being able to prove he was "worthy" all along by lifting Thor's hammer was a cheap payoff in the end, much like the entirety of Endgame was. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.
Tumblr media
144 notes · View notes
jq37 · 14 days
Text
The Report Card – Fantasy High Junior Year Ep 15
The Buddy System
Welcome back to Fantasy High where the Bad Kids are still fighting for their lives and, more importantly, their grades. 
After a sterling start to their Last Stand exam, they still have a lot more test to get through before they’re academically out of the woods and they need a perfect score on the written portion to pass which is incredibly harsh but that’s Aguefort for you!
This is a very long episode where everyone gets to be so cool. Truly, you can see how competent all of the players and the characters have become as they carve a bloody path through wave after wave of enemies. 
As usual, it doesn’t really make sense for me to do a blow for blow recap of this fight but it’s absolutely worth watching. It’s an absolute delight from Siobhan and Emily irl making up a limerick in tandem to pass the Performance section of The Last Stand to Gorgug rolling truly more Nat 20s than I’ve ever seen in my life and almost solo-ing a *Purple Worm*. There’s not really any commentary that I can add to improve on just how amazingly they do in the episode. They’re forced to use the auto-pass stamp twice but only on the two most unreasonable things Brennan asked them to do–write a 300 word essay longhand in five minutes and do a (gag) math word problem. With those two stamped, they get 100% on their written exam. They even get some extra credit (partially due to Siobhan’s IRL LOTR geekery). 
Not only that, but Gavin (the proctor) only gets hit (I think) once and never actually goes down! None of the Bad Kids do. Hell, Adaine–their squishiest member–basically just sits at her desk the whole fight answering questions and slinging spells and she’s fine! Happy ending, A+s all around, roll credits, right?
No, of course not. Nothing is that simple–not that this was simple. They can’t just be the first party to ever pass The Last Stand without dying and have it be done. 
During the fight, everyone–but especially Kristen–has been suspicious of Buddy. She does an Insight check and sees that he seems on the level but that’s not enough to quell her suspicion. Near the end of the fight, she eats the Vulture King eyeball (granting her a minute of Truesight) with the intent of seeing who Buddy really is–a reasonable instinct considering Ruben was in disguise at the festival. 
She sees that Buddy is Buddy. She *also* sees Kipperlilly Copperkettle invisibly aiming a crossbow at Gavin. KP clocks Kristen clocking her, smiles, and lowers the crossbow, instead choosing to SLIT BUDDY’S THROAT. Buddy falls to the ground, absolutely DEAD. Not making saves. FULLY DEAD. A blue scaly hand touches her and they both vanish–Kristen can tell that the spell was Plane Shift (which is necessary for getting in and out of this testing pocket dimension). She frantically looks for a diamond to cast Revivify but her pockets have been picked and Buddy’s Revivify diamonds are gone as well. 
They finish the fight victoriously but Buddy’s death casts a pallor on everything. This was supposed to be a fight to the death but Buddy was the one person whose death wasn’t figured into the bloodbath. Gavin tells them that they pass the rest of the year with A+s but is shaken and thrown off kilter by the seemingly random murder. Kristen tells him what she saw and Gavin says that he was observing so he can vouch for the fact that none of them had anything to do with the murder but this is a crime scene and they have to call the Fantasy FBI. The Bad Kids are all super worried about Gavin’s safety since Kipperlilly was going after him initially, but in the end they agree to take him to the Council of Chosen office in Bastion City so he can be under their protection and to leave Fig’s phone (juiced up by Gorgug) in the pocket dimension with Buddy’s body in case there are any shenanigans (you know, besides him getting murdered which was already a pretty big shenanigan).
The Bad Kids drop off Gavin and then take a bus back to Elmville with a new mission: CSI Elmville, let’s get this bitch arrested! 
Editing to Add: This is a very cool post by @thisisnotthenerd that covers all the Last Stand Qs and monsters in the form of Gavin's proctor notes. Check it out!
Detention 
Kipperlilly for Icing Buddy
This was gonna go to Brennan for making a bunch of stand up comedians do math under a time limit but I can’t not give it to Kipperlilly here. She smiled. She looked at Kristen, smiled, and slit Buddy’s throat. There was no gritting her teeth like it was a hard but pragmatic choice. She was about to take the life of someone who fully trusted her and she did it with glee. There is something *deeply* wrong with this bitch, and we knew that already but hoo boy this certainly clinches it. 
Honor Roll
Gorgug for DESTROYING that Purple Worm
Everyone was in top form this episode but if I have to give it to one person, I’m gonna give it to Gorgug for single handedly holding back a Purple Worm, a monster so terrifying that there is an official D&D show where the premise is that all the players have to fight an OP monster they’re almost certainly gonna TPK against and the title is “Faster, Purple Worm! Kill! Kill!” Our boy didn’t even drop. That’s Maximum Legend Behavior. 
Random Notes
Kristen has the thought that she interrupted a truly horrible thing that KP was about to do and wonders what the crossbow bolt was loaded with. I didn’t mention it in the recap but I wanted to call attention to it because Brennan called attention to it. 
Also Riz got some footage of Gavin clearing them with his tie and Gavin sent their scores to the superintendent (not Jace to be clear–Tectonya Karkovnya who we met in The Seven).
Ugh I’m so annoyed because if KP and Oisin get questioned under Zone of Truth they’re absolutely gonna be dosed up with Devil’s Honey.
Buddy’s throat was slit and there’s no rune on his chest so presumably he can be revived if he’s brought to a hospital–hell Kristen could probably do it with a higher level spell–but I’m worried someone’s gonna slap that rune on him while his body is alone.
Do we think KP killed Buddy without a thought because she knows she lives in a world with revives and she knows it’s temporary or is she just like I truly do not care what happens to this (literally) corny ass cleric. I don’t know him like that. 
Once again, I love Adaine’s div powers so much. “You crit actually.” What a legend. Also love Fig coming to her with doubt and her just being like don’t be crazy and slapping a reticle on the monster to help her aim. I really love their friendship. 
Adaine is my favorite Bad Kid and I am first in line to throw down wrath on anyone who tries to mess with her. That being said, my favorite non-Bad Kid character is Aelwyn who has absolutely tried to kill Adaine and attacked her on multiple occasions and also is wanted for murders she absolutely did. My point here is that Oisin’s next moves will determine if he’s “surrounded by bad influences/I can fix them” material like Aelwyn or, “Throw out the whole man” material like that cop Antiope had a crush on. I am still rooting for the former but I will flip on a dime, do not doubt me. 
I tried that essay writing task and with 25 seconds left on the clock (I stopped when I finished making my points) I was only at 174 words and my hand was seriously cramping. So I would say, valiant effort from the Bad Kids but that was a *rough* ask. 
Kristen’s Bless really came in clutch! Honorary mention to her for that AND for having enough intuition to keep an eye on the Rat Grinder situation. I wonder if Brennan contemplated that might happen. 
Fig bug zapping all those flying monsters was chef’s kiss. 
Did Bobby Dawn fail Kristen specifically so she’d have to take the Last Stand? If so, he is indirectly responsible for his grandson getting iced. Hope that tastes bitter when he finds out but for all we know he’s one of those ends justify the means guys. Bleh. 
This season really is a love letter to all that came before it. The questions, the pentacorn, Adaine’s go to move even magically just being making a fist and letting it fly. I really love how much love Brennan clearly has for this world. And the 100% score the players got on the test shows they obviously love it right back!
Loose Ends
It is Fantasy High tradition for us to get a huge lore dump near the end of the season that ties together a lot of disparate clues and I hope we’re getting there soon because there are a LOT of loose ends we have yet to tie. Here are as many major ones as I can think of right now in case it helps spark productive speculation amongst y’all. 
Who killed the Loams?
Why the move to Loam Farm for Frosty Faire?
What specifically was Ruben trying to do with the symbol when he was playing at the festival? Presumably the thing Grix was trying to prevent?
Who killed Professor Badgood?
What were the exact circumstances behind Lucy’s death?
Who was able to put the rune on both of their bodies and what exactly was the goal there?
What is the Devil’s Honey being used for? What about the other things Aelwyn was getting for KP like Ambrosia? Why did she want a Cloud Rider engine?
How is Jace involved? Why is he manipulating Ruben?
How culpable is each individual Rat Grinder? Are they all in it together or are there varying levels of how involved they are?
Why were Ankarana’s domains wiped from heavens’ computers?
Why did Ankarna become corrupted and why was she forgotten? Were the celestial gods (Sol and co) involved?   
How did KP find the rogue teacher?
Also what’s her damage? Why is she obsessed with Riz? What are her anger issues about?
What’s her current goal? Who is she loyal to (if anyone)? Why did she want to know about Kristen creating a god exactly?
Why did Lucy change her god and then change it back?
Why was Buddy specifically requested by the Rat Grinders?
Why is KP running for class president? And is Mazey being principal a purposeful machination or just a weird thing that’s happening incidentally? 
What’s up with Spy’s Tongue Curse and Kalina only being able to say Ragh’s name? Is it related to that conversation between Kalina, Adaine’s mom, and Jace from SY?
Why wasn’t Ivy surprised to see Fig in disguise as Lucy who was at the time fully dead?
What’s up with the party vision that Adaine has now had at least twice?
Where is KP getting her money from?
What made the Rat Grinders become the Rat Grinders when they started as the High Five Heroes?
What's up with the shatter stars infecting the soil around Elmville?
Where exactly is Cass right now?
What does Ankarna want?
How does Ruvina fit into all of this?
Feel free to hit me up if there's something you think I should add to the list! Can't wait for next week. I'll see you then!
57 notes · View notes
samanthamulder · 11 months
Text
Tumblr media
director Rob Bowman on the hallway scene in The X-Files: Fight the Future (1999 DVD audio commentary) — “ 'I need you, I need you.' That’s a theme of the movie – Mulder needs Scully. And never before has he come to that understanding quite so strongly as he does in this story. So she’s running because she’s afraid that he’s going to talk her out of it, and so the best thing she can do is hit the elevator button and go, go, go. She never makes it. That’s her first mistake.
And Mulder also knows that that’s where she’s headed, is out the door. So he’s got to tell her why it is that she’s so important to him, and tell her once and for all that in fact the whole time that the two of them have been together that she has made him better, that she has made him feel not like an outcast, not like discarded FBI trash, but somebody worthy of her friendship, and that, as he says, has made him a whole person. So in a scene filled with such virtue, people expressing their highest thoughts and feelings towards each other, you come to a sort of pinnacle of respect and mutual admiration that it leads to an intimate moment that neither of them expect, or were working towards. It just sort of happens. You just keep arguing and arguing, then suddenly it’s not an argument, it’s 'We’re for each other, we’re for each other.' And we come to the opportunity of the kiss for the first time. But it’s not out of lust, it’s not out of any of the obvious reasons, or typical reasons. It’s out of just absolute overwhelming respect for each other. Out of that respect becomes an emotional response, where you transcend logic and thinking and it becomes more visceral and human. 
Tumblr media
The only place for him to go, in my mind, to express the next thought is to kiss her. And how do we do that in The X-Files fashion? Which is, you never give them anything that they want. You just lead them down the road and say 'Ah, that’s all you get.' And then, because of the bee, the moment is abrupt and abbreviated and stops short of the zenith that the audience is wanting. But we don’t want to end by cheating the audience. We’d like to at least add up in parts a kiss. So there’s the idea, in the spaceship where Mulder is trying to rescue Scully, and just when they get to the vent exit, she collapses again, and she passes out and she’s not breathing. What do you do when somebody’s not breathing? You give them mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. So you’ve got the intention of the kiss and the physical act of them touching mouths. I believe in Chris’s mind the idea was you take those two, add ‘em together, that’s a kiss. Sort of in frustrating X-Files fashion that’s a kiss. And I think obviously there’s more gained for the audience out of the hallway kiss, and I don’t think anybody really walked out thinking, 'Well, they sort of did, because if you add the two together…' but it doesn’t matter because the idea is they were going to. As a story point, that counts as the kiss. They didn’t stop themselves, something else entered the scene and interrupted them, so…"
230 notes · View notes
tyrramint · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media
Happy Lockwood & Co. Big Bang!!! :D I had the absolute pleasure of collaborating with @The_Dreamer_Half_Alive (on Ao3 :) on her fic for the @lockwoodandcobigbang2023 event; set post TEG, it’s truly so lovely and heartwarming, and I had so much fun doing a piece for it! We very much hope you enjoy :)
Link to the fic!!!! (the horror of the night melt away) under the warm glow of survival of the day
(Closeups below the cut :D) (because I ended up making it too wide to be easily seen in full lol) (plus ~artistic commentary~)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
(SPOILERS FOR FIC CONTENT)
Okay, so I tried to put a bunch of little easter eggs from the fic and just in general in here, so if you’re interested:
Alright, to start off, I was generally very inspired by them getting a record player; I thought it was very sweet, and I loved the idea of them finally getting to relax and hang out in the library (the lack of chairs, I know; I couldn’t figure out how to put them in without blocking people lol) and locklyle dancing, with the record player on in the background, so that’s what I took as the basis of the scene!!
We had discussed that the characters were kind of a combo of both show and book versions, so I tried to add a smattering and hints of both when doing their designs!
The record is, of course, an Ella Fitzgerald record as mentioned in the fic (the record drawn is her Souvenir Album)
Holly is wearing her engagement ring, and wearing shades of pink and cream because that’s what she wears at her wedding (although shifted in hue to better match the color scheme of the piece lol)
Everyone (minus Flo) of course has their white strands of hair (which is *always* one of my favorite details to draw)
Lucy and George bake in the fic, but I think I had just read the Christmas mini story when I was doing my thumbnail for this, so Kipps ended up being the one bringing in baked goods; however, the baking mitts are orange and monogrammed with George's initials because I couldn't let that slip by, could I?
I wasn't quite sure what to put Flo in, because in the books she never takes off her boots or puffer jacket, but I wanted to throw in some sign that she was living at 35 Portland Row and becoming closer to all of them, (and her close relationship with George,) so I let her keep the boots, but traded the puffer jacket in for one of George's plaid shirts :)
The chess game also made it in because of the Christmas short story, lol
Lucy's blue star jacket!! When I read the fic, I was planning from the start to have her wearing the jacket, so of course it made it in :) I wasn't really sure what style it should be, though, so I ended up with kind of an odd mishmash of designs, but I think it turned out working alright!
The sapphire necklace, because, of course
I adore that Lockwood wears his pink socks throughout the entire show (well, most of the time they're the pink ones ;) so I wanted to include them (and then gave Lucy blue ones to match :)
The chipped blue mugs that Lockwood brings to Lucy for her tea after she wakes up from nightmares are on the bookshelf, and I couldn't find a way to directly include the Earl Grey tea they have, but I made the tea bag tags grey in honor of it
The green glow is the ghost lamp outside because if I can find a way to incorporate cool glows in my art, I will (and also on a more narrative-driven note, symbolizing the past danger they've been through and how some of it is definitely still present, but they have each other to heal with and finally be able to have some simple fun with, and are now curled up in the safety and comfort of 35 Portland Row :)
And finally, a big theme of the fic is them healing and building a happy life together, so I just wanted them to all be happy for once, and hence I put in my best efforts to draw them as such :)
75 notes · View notes
Note
You dont understand how many times I check ur blog for updates
Your wonderful in every possible way<3 I hope ur taking care of yourself<33
I’d also like to request slashers reacting to a dangerous victim approaching their s/o house and like hurting them badly and threatening the slashers to leave them alone or they’ll kill their s/o but in the end they underestimate their s/o and their s/o just knocks them out and keeps punching em
You don’t have to do this and I hope your doing great<333
I very much want to do this, even if it took a bit longer than I meant it to lmao
A dangerous victim threatening the slashers' S/O
Jason Voorhees
He curses himself when the victim loops their warm around your neck and presses you to their chest.
"Not a single step further or your friend here will suffer the consequences!"
You scoff. Does this spoiled little city brat actually think they got anything on you? An elbow to the gut quickly makes them release their hold on you, and you whirl around and add a punch to the face. And then another one. And another one.
The victim hardly has any time to fight back, and finally topples over, their face so messed up they are barely recognizable.
Jason hurries to your side to check on you. You blankly look at your blood-stained hands.
"I think I cut my knuckle on one of their teeth."
Vincent Sinclair
One of the victims got their hands on a crossbow from that one weapon shop in Ambrose. And you find yourself with the arrow pointed at you.
The victim glares at Vincent. "I'm warning you. One more step and you can use *them* for your wax sculpture instead of me."
Unfortunately for them, that little declaration distracted them, and they find themself disarmed ein being beaten to a bloody pulp with the very crossbow they had just used to threaten you with.
Once you sufficiently vented your anger on them, you finish them off with an arrow right between the eyes.
"Why do they always have to make it so hard on us", you sigh as you casually toss the weapon aside. Then you give Vincent an apologetic look. "Hope you won't have to do too much of remodeling to use them as a base, darling."
Freddy Krueger
It is admittedly especially stupid of this victim to they that they have *anything* on you. Freddy could just zap you to safety with a snap of his fingers, but this situation turns out to be rather entertaining.
"Back off, Krueger, I have your little toy!", the victim says, desperately holding onto you.
Freddy chuckles. "Think again, bitch. *They* have *you*."
And before they can even question what he said, you grab their arm, throw them to the ground and start going absolutely to town on them, while Freddy gives a running commentary.
"Oh, that looks like it hurts." "At least that bitch doesn't have to pay to get their nose fixed now."
"Do they still have teeth? They do? Well better get to fixing that."
He is absolutely enjoying this. Maybe even a bit too much.
Bubba Sawyer
Bubba almost accidentally hits you with his chainsaw when the escaping victim suddenly decides to use you as a human shield.
"Yeah, that's right, you monster. Wouldn't want anything to happen to your little friend here, right?"
Bubba looks at you, nervously licking his lips. You give him a comforting smile and nod before stomping on your assailant's foot with all your might and then whirling around and knocking them out cold.
"How!" Punch. "Dare!" Punch. "You!" Punch. "Scare!" Punch. "My!" Punch. "Bubsy!" Punch. Punch. Punch.
By the time you're done, the victim has been dead for a good minute or so. Bubba finally pulls you away from their remains and hugs you tightly, happy that you are unhurt.
342 notes · View notes
wilchur · 5 months
Text
Saw some people on tiktok complaining about Astarion's reaction to Durge refusing Bhaal being harsh, not sweet enough and somewhat off-tone, but to me it's literally perfect?
(reaction in question)
I will straight-up die on the hill that spawn Astarion has all the right to be a bit bitter about Durge having their life fixed just like that because they're cool and brave and stood up to Dad. Because he did all the "right" things too didn't he? Yet he still has to deal with vampirism and once the tadpoles are gone will be confined to the darkness of the night again unless someone helps him figure out a solution. I don't get why people expect him to act all mature and therapeutised just because his personal quest is dealt with. Like I'm sorry, but you didn't fix him. Set him on a better path maybe, but he's been very openly disapproving of acts of heroism the entire game precisely because he's never been "lucky" enough to be on the receiving end. That doesn't just go away. Even if he didn't actually lash out a bit in game, I'd still headcanon the entire thing coming up eventually as an issue/argument in the future for Durge and Astarion who are in a romantic relationship. He might not be angry or resentful of Durge, but he's very much not pleased at the universe for getting the short end of the stick as always. And I think he's entitled on it, it is not fair.
Additionally (to me) this is perfect meta commentary on just how much this route sucks narratively. Putting aside the fact that the game is afraid to make The Urge be an actual game-changing mechanic that adds difficult dice rolls, debuffs etc so that it feels more like an actual thing your character is struggling to overcome, you can be an absolute CUNT the entire game and still get this ending. No matter how many people you kill, what you say, how you act, in the end Withers will come and wave his wand anyways. Even with the tadpoles that are famous for having little effect on the story.. gobbling them up like there's no tomorrow will still have a consequence, and unless you're fine with save-scumming it has the potential to be a Big Thing. Hells, you make one poor dialogue choice with Gale and he will end up dumping your ass at the end of the game. Durge gets off scot free. I hate it. Astarion is right.
143 notes · View notes
forggywrites · 9 months
Text
Let’s See the Barbie Movie!
Miguel O’Hara x GN reader
Headcanons/scenario
Requests are open!
CW: slight spoilers for the Barbie movie? I’m not sure. Reader annoys Miguel. He gets annoyed, but not angry.
———————————
“Hey Miguel, what do you think about seeing the Barbie movie with me?”
“You want me to see the Barbie movie with you? Why don’t you ask anyone else here to see it with you? Like Peter B, he seems like the type to like that kinda stuff…”
You huff “but I wanna go with my favorite person in the whole world! Besides, I think it’ll be fun!”
Miguel gives you a look, then turns back to his work.
Suddenly Lyla appears
“Miguel, you really should go. The ratings are very high, and it’s got some VERY attractive actors in there.” (All of them are hot)
“Is the movie even out yet?” He responded.
“Yeah! It came out just the other day! A bunch of people are already talking about it!”
“No, I’m too busy.”
“Please?”
“No”
“Pleaaaasssseeeeee?” You ask, stretching the word out.
“No.” he adds more firmly.
“Pretty please?” You give him the exaggerated puppy dog eyes, your lip pouted.
“No.”
You stop, walk closer to the man, and drop to your knees in front of him.
“Please, for me?” You flutter your eyelashes.
You both go quiet
“…fine”
“What did you say? I couldn’t hear you.” You teased.
“I said fine, I will go see Barbie with you. But I am not dressing up.”
“YIPPIEE!!!” You shout as you jump to your feet.
“I’ll buy the tickets, when are you free?”
———————————
“I’m ready to see Barbie!” You call out as you walk into Miguel’s office. He was finishing up his work for the day, having already thrown on a simple outfit consisting of regular blue jeans and a black shirt.
“What the hell are you wearing?” He mutters as he looks at you.
“It’s my Barbie outfit! You like it?”
“I think I’m going to have an aneurysm, there’s so much pink.”
Lyla pops up next to you and immediately compliments your amazing outfit.
“Alright, you can shut up now Lyla. Let’s get this over with.”
The two of you went on your way, arriving at the movie theater you offered to buy Miguel whatever snacks he wanted, as you were kind of forcing him to be there. He settled on a water and small popcorn.
Once you got your tickets scanned and headed to the theater you two got settled in your seats, the theater was fairly crowded due to two big movies having just opened.
———————————
The credits rolled, you sat in your seat with a large smile on your face.
The two of you walked out of the theater pretty quietly, only stopping to use the bathroom, or for you to compliment other’s people outfits (and vice versa).
“Soooooo… how did you like it?” You muse to the tall man next to you.
“Actually, it wasn’t bad.” His face was as cold as ever, but you can’t help but think about the slight smiles or laughs you noticed from him during the movie. Or even how he got quiet during certain parts with the mother and daughter characters. Almost as if he was going to cry.
“I’m glad you liked it!” You had a smile on your face, glad your convincing had worked and that the evening wasn’t a total waste of time for him.
———————————
Bonus:
“Wait, you guys saw the Barbie movie without me!?” The yell shocked you, it wasn’t like Perter B to yell, especially in front of Mayday.
“I’m sorry! I didn’t think you would care that much…” you sweat dropped as the father yelled like a character from a bad drama show.
“I’m jus surprised you got the man to go at all” Hobie chimed, a small smirk on his face.
“Was it good?” Gwen asked.
“Yeah, actually it was. And if it was good enough for Miguel to enjoy it, I think you’ll like it to.”
———————————
Wrote this in like half an hour, it has not been edited. I saw the Barbie movie earlier and I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT. The movie was a great mix of comedy and amazing commentary on the patriarchy along with how women are treated in society. I totally recommend anyone who can see it, see it.
Also I slayed with my outfit, but the Barbie heels gave me bad blisters and I kept getting misgendered :(
121 notes · View notes
jesuisgourde · 26 days
Text
Okay, All Quiet On The Eastern Esplanade is out in the states, so time for a listen and a rambling track by track reaction. I'm listening to the whole album through and writing my thoughts, and then listening to it once more and adding any other observations.
I've already heard Run Run Run, and like I said before, it feels very classic Carl track. It's very catchy. I think I have the same complaint as everyone else, which is that it feels over-produced. No one should autotune the Libs, the whole point is that they're a bit wonky. Also I don't like that they've fucked with the equalizer and the vocals sound weirdly muffled? Also, upon this listen-through, this song reminds me a little of Frank Turner, which is a weird musical callback to like 2012. My favorite thing in any song is when the instrumentals cut out and it's just drums and vocals, so I love that as the ending of the song. This whole album has so many varied cultural references which I find very entertaining. Does Peter yell "Get your pants off" or "Get your hands off"?
Already I like the lyric to Mustangs A LOT. Feeling a Lou Reed influence there. Love Peter's high-pitched backing vocals and also the Pigman reference. I really love Libs songs where it's just a little scene set to music. And this is exactly that, in such a good way. Again, not a fan of the mixing. What is it with producers these days and mixing so shittily that the vocals get lost in the background instruments, and everything gets muddied? I had the exact same complaint with the last Manics album. Anyway, love the little jokey bits at the end. The second verse about the nun is such fantastic imagery. (Lastly, I thought it was Mustang, singular? But it's plural on Spotify?)
I Have A Friend has an AMAZING chorus I love it. Also that solo guitar bit from Carl right after, I literally could see him hopping up and down in my head. Love Peter's rolled R's. Okay, upon listening the second time round I really really really like this song. The lyrics are incredible. I think they're my favorite on the album. Social commentary but also absolutely beautiful and amazing imagery.
Merry Old England has a bit of a Hamburg Demonstrations vibe to it, which I love. The further I get into this song, the more I love it. It's such a creative and sarcastic critique of Tory policies and all that. Again, I've criticisms about the mixing. Also the pretty violins makes me miss Miki Beavis's wonky violin in Madres, which I think suits Peter/The Libs way better. Still, they add a nice touch.
Ohhh I love Man With The Melody, the clear pretty vocals. I like that each of the Libs have their own verse, that's so cool! Fuck the autotuning though. I really like this song. Melodically it sounds like a sequel to Milkman's Horse, and thematically a sequel to Fame And Fortune. It sounds like a "reply" or a look back at Anthems. Very pretty, with the lovely piano and minimalist guitar.
Hahahha Oh Shit! feels soooooo early 2000s American pop, in a fun way. It reminds me of something but I can't quite put my finger on it. Something that was on the radio a lot in like 2003 or 2004 maybe? This is clearly a Fun Song, like a slosh your drinks around while dancing all goofy type song. Peter's "And that was the news today" at the end is so silly. I think this track is my least favorite but it is fun.
I already know I love Night Of The Hunter. Firstly because anything that uses the Swan Lake motif has my heart instantly. But also because I love the lyrics, I love when Peter writes songs about noir-type vignettes. Finally, some good shared vocals that aren't drowned out by instruments. Gosh, I love the lyrics of this song, I love the dual meaning in that it is technically about an actual noir film but could easily be talking about Peter's past as well. I really like that the lyrics get priority on this one and the instrumentals are pushed back in the mix with the Swan Lake motif coming forward sometimes. It feels like it needs that minimalism.
The guitar on Baron's Claw is already great from the start. I hear Peter's taking a leaf out of Daniel Darc's book with the close-in breathy vocals, which I'm so into because since I learned about Daniel Darc from Peter and Frederic Lo I've actually fallen in love with his music too. Melody-wise it's very close to The Glassblower from the Fantasy Life album, which is my favorite song off that album, so I'm not surprised I like this song too. I like the story in the song and I like the jazzy brass and piano and Peter's vocals. It feels like it's being sung in a smoky jazz bar. This one is so good.
Shiver is sooo catchy. I find myself humming it sometimes at work even though I haven't yet absorbed all the lyrics in my memory. This is also the real "Libertines mythology" song, so of course it's good. The fact that the lyrical subject matter is made up only of criticizing the monarchy and talking about specific Libertines lore is just so them. It's so short, though! I wish it were longer!
The guitar on Be Young is so chaotic lol. It reminds me of Horrorshow a bit. Okay, actually this whole song is chaotic. Melodically, lyrically, it sounds like they were crashing around in the studio while recording, which is very fun. The random calypso bridge bit is so....random! I like it, just a surprise in terms of musical style change. Suddenly they're the Clash! A fun way to pay homage to influences, I think. Also Carl yelling "Woo!" and then collapsing into a cough at the end is really really funny.
I can definitely hear the early-ness of Songs They Never Play On The Radio. You can tell the scaffolding is there from that early set of Libertines-to-Shambles transition songs like East Of Eden/Love Reign Over Me/Merry Go Round etc. I really really like the guitar on this one. And the vocals are so nice. Again I don't like the mix, where Peter's voice is a bit overtaken by the muddiness of the backup singers and instrumentals. But I do like this song a lot. The lyrics are pure Libertines mythology. Ahahah the dogs howling! The bit of acoustic and messing about and chat, I really like that. I think it's a really lovely ending to the album, just a glimpse of them obviously being friends and having fun. It's like a beautiful reply to the question "What became of the likely lads?"
As I've only listened through the album in full twice at this point, I'm sure my thoughts will change over time. But at the moment I think my favorite is torn between Night Of The Hunter and Baron's Claw. I Have A Friend and Songs They Never Play also are just so lyrically good. Least favorite is definitely Oh Shit. I'm excited to see which songs grow on me and in what ways.
36 notes · View notes
elffees · 4 months
Text
Frontiers of Pandora made me realize how much I hate Jake S*lly
So I watched a No-Commentary lets play of Avatar: Frontiers of Pandora and have a lot of thoughts.
Disclaimer #1: I am a WOC, but I am not indigenous. I absolutely encourage indigenous peoples to add onto this post and share their thoughts.
Disclaimer #2: There is going to be an abundance of Jake S*lly hate in this post. I just ask that if you are a fan of Jake, and still choose to read my post, that you do so in good faith and out of genuine curiosity. Please don't read my post with the sole intent to shoot it down.
Overarching Problems with the Avatar Franchise
Okay so, time to actually get into the post.
To start off, the entire Avatar franchise has problems. Regardless if it's the video games, comics, movies, or what have you. Ableist tropes, racist tropes, misogynistic tropes, my god there are a bunch. These problems with the franchise have been talked about for literal decades now though, so I'll link a few of their pieces here.
Native Media Theory's critique video
"Avatar: The Way of Water" and the Question of Indigenous Representation
Native News Online's article about JaCam's horribly ignorant comment and ATWOW
Avatar: The Way of Water or How NOT to Make Indigenous Futurism Movies
Old, New, Borrowed and Blue: Compulsory Able-bodiedness and Whiteness in Avatar
Avatar's Approach to Ableism Misses the Mark
There are hundreds of other sources from all areas of the internet. It would be impossible for me to list them all. Fortunately, they're very easy to find if you want to know more.
What I want to talk about is the game Frontiers of Pandora that just released in December 2023, and how it changed my perspective on the movies, at least the first movie since I have yet to watch the second.
Frontiers of Pandora
(I will try my best to be as spoiler-free as possible, but there will be segments where I'll dive into them. I will put a warning ahead of time.)
Just so we're all on the same page, I'll briefly summarize FOP's premise.
Spoiler-Free Summary
As an infant, the playable character, an unnamed Na'vi, was taken by a project group of the RDA known as "TAP", The Ambassador Program. You are not alone, a significant number of Na'vi children, all from the newly introduced Sarentu Clan, were taken as well. It's made clear in the opening that TAP's initial goal was to raise Na'vi children and teach them human culture to "bridge the gap" between their two peoples. And then once ready, they would be sent back out into Pandora to serve as "ambassadors" for Na'vi-Human relations. You were to be mainly taught by Alma Cortez, TAP's Co-founder and a skilled xenobiologist, who notably spends more time in her Avatar body than in her original one.
As time passed and relations between the Na'vi and the RDA became more hostile, the taken Sarentu children were taught to use human weapons. Heavily implied to be trained to fight against other Na'vi to defend RDA resources, instead of the original intention to serve as "peaceful ambassadors".
The player's journey starts when the character is a teenager, around 16 to 18 years old. The final battle in the first movie causes a massive uproar to all RDA facilities, including TAP's. The administrator and founder, John Mercer, ordered the entire program and building to be abandoned. Part of that abandonment is ordering the execution of the playable character and all of the other Sarentu children.
Your character, and some of the others, are saved by Alma, who killed the soldiers that were assigned to kill you. Then, seemingly acting on impulse with no solid plans for your survival, put you and the others into a cryo-induced coma. With the plan that you would all be woken up when it was safe.
There is a misunderstanding and long story short, the Sarentu children do not get woken up until 16 years later. Your revival is when the game is officially put into the player's hands.
Just from the premise, it's clear the plot is based off the real life horror of Native American Boarding Schools. (I'm really curious how Indigenous viewers feel about this portrayal. I've tried to look up perspectives, but have had difficulty finding any. Probably because the game is so new.)
The Sarentu were taken as children, physically and psychologically abused whenever they interacted with Na'vi culture in any way, were told daily that the program was "for their own good", and were generally viewed as "property" owned by TAP and John Mercer.
We learn later in the game that in the early days of the program, the children suffered conditions so grotesque that the oldest of them admit to repressing the full events of what happened to stay sane. What we were already told about their upbringing is repulsive to hear, so to find out that there was more that was so traumatic and horrible, the characters can't even bring themselves to remember it let alone talk about it...
Basically, your character's backstory is fucked up. Very much so.
After experiencing all that, once your character wakes up from cryo sleep and rushes to the outdoors for the first time in approximately 32+ years, you get to the heart of the story.
Frontiers of Pandora is about the playable character reclaiming and rediscovering a culture that's been stripped from them. The character has the help of a predominantly human resistance group (known creatively as "The Resistance"), but the majority of the game is the character meeting and getting to know various Na'vi clans. From the Aranahe in Kinglor Forest, to the Zeswa in the Upper Plains, to the Kame'tire in the Clouded Forest.
And throughout the world, there are remnants of your character's lost people. There are Sarentu artifacts scattered all over the map where the character can regain lost knowledge from their Clan's way of life.
Fortunately, there are still Na'vi from the other three clans that have personally met the Sarentu before you. And they are EXTREMELY eager to tell you of their experiences with your people and how they used to interact with each other. There's even a character who is heavily implied to have known the playable character's mother, a fact we only learn after he playfully requests we gather ingredients and make a unique dish, not knowing until after we've tried it, that we were just taught how to make a meal our mother used to. A quest you don't expect to evoke tears until you're already crying.
You have the ability to use human weapons and wear human clothing if you wish, but that is optional. You can, and many players have, opt for a "full Na'vi playthrough" where you only use Na'vi weapons and dress in Na'vi attire (You can even dress in Sarentu-specific attire for full immersion!) There are no choices, so you can't choose to not interact with the Resistance, but you can spend as little time as possible with other humans, only needing to return for quick updates before going back out into Pandora with other Na'vi.
I say all this to say, the game is heavily about the Na'vi and reclaiming one's culture after it's been attempted to be destroyed. Watching this journey play out made me realize the potential Avatar has, and helped me better understand my biggest gripe with the movies. It's Jake Sully.
The Whitest Savior to Ever Whitely Save
After finishing the FOP playthrough, I decided to rewatch the first movie to see if I'd feel differently about it. And boy did I!
I could talk all day about how the tiniest similarities got to me. I laughed watching the ferocious pack of viperwolves, after seeing players frantically try to outrun them in Kinglor Forest. The harrowing climb up the ikran rookery, and thinking about the Sarentu's own sinking self esteem as they struggle to prove themselves to their eventual bonded. Even the floating mountains as the characters in the movie weave through them and Trudy uses them for cover, connecting it to all the times I've seen FOP players and ikrans rest on them or gather resources from their peaks.
The comparisons are endless.
But the biggest contrast and glaring stain is Jake's entire character.
Like Jake, the Sarentu (the playable character) has to learn how to maneuver a world they are not used to. Unlike Jake, it's clear the protagonist actually develops an appreciation and love for the world around them.
RELATIONSHIPS TO OTHER NA'VI
Even overlooking the WS trope for a minute (which we will touch on!), it comes across as though Jake only begins to side with the Omatikaya after enjoying the adrenaline rush of their way of life, and falling in love with Neytiri. But we never see Jake actually bonding with any other Na'vi besides her in the first movie.
He grows into calling them "brother" and "sister", and has a few throwaway lines of knowing of other Na'vi, but we don't actually see him develop any positive relationships with anyone other than Neytiri (who is very much given the Love Interest Angle where majority of her scenes are about Jake or have Jake in them. Even during her father's death scene, Jake made an appearance!!! Go away for a millisecond I am begging!) Even his supposed arc with Tsu'tey is rushed as all hell, and only happens because Jake ~miraculously~ becomes Toruk Makto. A feat that makes the Omatikaya gain respect for him en masse, despite them just calling for his death after learning he played a major role in the destruction of their Hometree.
In comparison, the Sarentu not only gets to know the culture, customs, and day-to-day lives of the Na'vi they meet, they also get to befriend them.
Now since I've watched a let's play, I haven't seen all that the game offers. But I have seen a lot of side activities in the Kinglor Forest.
Your character bonds with the other Sarentu children and with members of other massacred clans. They also create relationships with members of large clans: from as monumental of events as helping expose a corrupt olo'eyktan and bringing a shamed tsahik back to power, to as intimate as attending as funeral / "letting go" ceremony for a deceased ikran, to as simple as helping restore a weaver's low self esteem. Your character not only helps stop the RDA, but they also truly develop connections with other Na'vi. More than one!
Obviously, there can't be a full exploration of Jake simply making friends in a film because there just isn't enough time. But we could've seen him bonding with at least a few other Na'vi besides his love interest. For the franchise and sequel to be so Na'vi-focused, it wouldn't have hurt the first movie to detract some screentime from RDA characters, and give it to more Na'vi who we could've continued on with.
RELATIONSHIP TO THE WORLD AND TO EYWA
Another gripe I have with Jake's character is that he seems to hardly appreciate Pandora's wildlife or the Na'vi's connection to Eywa.
During Iknimaya, once he creates the bond, he refers to the ikran as "mine", despite the numerous times Neytiri has said no creature on Pandora can "belong" to anyone. It is a mutual bond based on respect, not taming a pet. Despite this lesson, Jake clearly still viewed it as such. We're not even told if the ikran Jake bonded with has a name, not in the film anyway. I had to find out through google that he named it, simply, "Bob".
And in the finale when connecting to Eywa, Jake asks for her help in the final battle. But while doing so, he's still uncertain if she's even "real" or "actually listening". Even now, he continues to doubt Na'vi beliefs (despite it literally being Grace's dying words!!)
In comparison, the Sarentu's journey up the ikran rookery to form a bond... it's emotional to say the least.
There is a desperation in your character's voice. Not of impatience, but of declining self esteem. A worry that you won't be chosen because you will not be deemed worthy. Because you are not Na'vi enough due to your upbringing. As you go up, an Aranahe character that guides you, Eetu, tells you of his experience and how calming it was. And that makes the character more nervous because of how stressful it's been for them so far.
But then you finally get close enough to approach. The ikran finally allows you to, and you meet eyes and...
I do not know how they managed to capture care and affection so perfectly but they did. The journey up the rookery is intense and nerve wracking. But once you get chosen, you the player IMMEDIATELY knows (just like Eetu said) because the ikran looks at you as though she's already prepared to give her life for yours. Many players have expressed that this segment legitimately made them cry because of how palpable the bond is.
And then Eetu says that she has placed full trust in you. And you know he's right because you can feel it. You can see it. But then he says now it's time for you to place full trust in her, and he "helps" you accomplish this by pushing you off the cliff!!!!! And it's scary! And terrifying! And you call out for her to help and you're still falling!! But then she catches you, and the next thing you know you're experiencing probably one of the most heartwarming scenes of the entire game.
The Sarentu is not yelling commands such as "shut up and fly straight". It is truly a psychological bond. You are not an owner and she is not a vehicle. You are not a tamer and she is not a mindless beast. You fly together as one. You are one.
Connecting to Eywa is also an emotional experience. Whenever the Sarentu connects to the Tarsyu (their clan's method), they're able to communicate with their ancestors, specifically the founder of the Sarentu, Entu. Sometimes in depth and sometimes only vaguely. But whenever a connection is made, the Sarentu walks away with something gained.
In comparison, it's debatable if Jake experiences anything at all when he connects to the Omatikaya's Tree of Souls. I suppose this can be left up to lore though. Maybe he just doesn't feel anything because he doesn't have Na'vi ancestors? Maybe it's because his kuru is artificially made and not naturally born? I don't know! The possibilities of why are endless, and probably answered somewhere in bonus Avatar content.
What my issue is, is that Jake doesn't seem to care whether he has a connection to Eywa or not, despite Eywa being a pretty significant part of Na'vi culture overall. If he's able to feel something when connecting to her, he has no reaction. And if he isn't able to feel anything, he still has no reaction over missing out on something significant to their way of life.
When the Sarentu children connect to Eywa for the VERY first time in 32 years, there is an air of both anxiety and excitement. One of them even voices that they're worried Eywa and their ancestors won't accept them for not being raised like "true Na'vi" (as you can see, this is a reoccuring theme in the game. Who can be referred to as "true Na'vi"). After the connection is made, there are mixed reactions. But at least there are reactions. Jake has none.
(Please note again: I am only referring to the 2009 movie in this post because that was everyone's first intro into Avatar. I am not referring to any comics or books or etc. that may dive deeper into these topics. If they do, great! That doesn't negate how lackluster the movie is. As the original source material, it should be able to stand on its own, and it clearly can't.)
"The Savior The Na'vi Needed" I Guess
I've already linked articles above about how inappropriate it is that a white actor + character "is the only one" that can help these "poor, defenseless, and naive" Indigenous / coded characters of color "defeat" colonization. Many many many people have have touched on this problematic storyline. It's very disturbing.
So speaking not from a Doylist perspective, but from a Watsonian one, Human Marine Jake is still an immensely odd choice to be Eywa's + the Omatikaya's Chosen One.
It's implied Eywa "chose" Jake because he'd be able to save Pandora. But the Omatikaya were literally going to DIE had Eywa not called on all of the animals to come to their aid. They would've lost following Jake.
The only thing he managed to do that was unique was unite the clans. Which he only accomplishes due to the lazy writing of becoming Toruk Makto. The implication that no Na'vi in generations EVER considered just jumping on Toruk's back. Or if there were other Na'vi that tried it, that none of them ever succeeded, but Jake, who is still new to the world and animals of Pandora, would know how to expertly bond with a creature as ferocious as that, better than every other Na'vi since Neytiri's grandfather.
Not to mention the absolute amnesia everyone gets once he does. His former betrayal is completely forgotten about, never to be mentioned again.
Neytiri no longer cares that Jake massively lied and used her, because he's Toruk Makto.
Tsu'tey no longer cares that Jake knowingly mated with his betrothed and spied on their people's way of life, because Jake's Toruk Makto.
None of the other Omatikaya (who are terrifyingly written without any individuality whatsoever) care their Hometree was just destroyed and their Olo'eyktan killed due to Jake's betrayal, because he's Toruk Makto.
It all just gets washed down the drain, like the sheer chaos Jake's actions caused no longer matter. Because he's Toruk Makto, the Chosen One. No further action required. No heartfelt apologies, no intimate discussions, no anything.
Jake jumps on Toruk, and that's that.
So not only were they actively losing following behind Jake's leadership, but he was only able to rally the clans due to shoddy writing choices. So WHY did Eywa choose this specific man, who was just actively working against her, to be the one the Na'vi are supposed to follow??
On top of all that, the implication of the Omatikaya needing Jake to survive is... dubious to say the least. It is not only literally racist, but also incredibly infantilizing to the Na'vi. The implication that they couldn't have come up with effective strategies without being ordered around by a person who's initial goal was to help destroy them.
"In siding with the ‘natives’, Jake and Grace play a central role in what can essentially be deemed as a form of anti-colonial resistance. What is crucial in this telling for the fight for Na’vi tribal and ecological survival is the ways in which anti-colonial resistance becomes legitimized through the ‘other’ becoming human." [...] "The Na’vi, like other colonized peoples, are denied of their own agency, and resistance only becomes valid and possible within a colonial paradigm of acceptability. As a result the Na’vi become dependent on Jake, the white, male, human, ethnographic anthropologist as saviour, leading them to a freedom in which he had helped threaten in the first place. [...] The Na’vi come to exist suspended by space, time and tradition and the role of Jake and Grace as anthropologists too occupy a place in colonial history that play into both liberal and much more conservative agendas." (Why Avatar is a Truly Dangerous Film)
Neytiri Should've Been the True Lead
Rewatching the first movie after Frontiers of Pandora, I not only had a much greater appreciation for Pandora, but much more distaste for Jake as the leading character.
While watching, I found myself thinking at SEVERAL points, "This would've been so good if Neytiri had been the focal protagonist." And the longer the film went on, the more the feeling settled in.
As the daughter of the Olo'eyktan and Tsahik, who better to lead her people to victory after her father's death? (You could argue Tsu'tey since he was supposed to be Eytukan's successor anyway. Either are valid options!) Neytiri's great grandfather was the last Toruk Makto, who better to become TM of their generation than one of his direct descendants? Neytiri holds great respect for Eywa and was destined to be the next Tsahik after Mo'at, so why couldn't she be the one who Eywa guides all of Pandoran wildlife to follow behind?
Just why oh why do all of these important roles in the narrative have to belong to Jake?????? Why couldn't they belong to a Na'vi character themselves?
This is not to say Jake should've been completely erased from the story. I do think him having some relevance still would've been fine, especially given he's a disabled man. I just wish his role had been that of an ally, a side character, or at most a deuteragonist second to Neytiri. Because there is weight in gaining insider information from a privileged ally.
I just wish that Jake hadn't been the lead character who's POV we follow. I wish it had been from the perspective of one of the actual Na'vi characters that were being oppressed.
BONUS: FOP Just Solves A Lot of the Issues I Had with Avatar
White / Human Saviour
Explained above.
Random Chosen One
The Sarentu playable character helps out, and is invited to help, not because they were spiritually chosen by "a deity they don't even believe in" unlike Jake. The Sarentu helps simply because they want to. Full stop. They see the injustices the RDA is enacting against Pandora, and simply choose to help put a stop to them. Because it is wrong.
That's it.
It's 1000x more admirable in my opinion. To choose to help rather than being a Chosen One destined to do so.
You can argue that since Jake seems to not even believe in Eywa, that he does help based on choice alone. But like I covered earlier, he only does so after he's deemed the Na'vi (or more specifically Neytiri) worthy of being saved. Not because they have the inherent right to live as they wish. No, he didn't consider them worthy of helping until after he decided they were.
The Conflicting Ethics Behind 'Avatars'
I don't know much about all of the side quests in the game so if there are any other avatars, then I don't know about them. But based on what I've seen of the main storyline, FOP handles the dubious topic of 'avatars' much better than the movie does. Because personally, I've always found the concept disturbing.
"At least in other white savior movies, they don’t sugarcoat the whiteness nor did they reward the whiteness with the ultimate prize." [...] "Apparently as a reward for being such a good white savior (that was originally a double agent for Colonel Scarface to get operational intel on them so the army could blow their magic god tree to Hell), Jake gets permanently transformed into one of the Na’vi via his Avatar." "Just imagine '8 Mile' if Eminem beat Sam Wilson and the rest of the Free World at the Shelter so badly, Future [...] took out his fairy godbrother wand and turned Rabbit into a brother. That’s the kool-aid that James Cameron is essentially selling." (Battle to the Bottom: The Blue-faced White Savior ‘Avatar’ Is Even Worse Than ‘After Earth’)
The concept of 'avatars' (in the way Avatar writes them) has always freaked me the hell out. Especially when Jake begins referring to humans as "the Sky People" as though he wasn't one of them just the day before.
FOP handles this subject much better in my opinion because the character of Alma, who is the Sarentu's former teacher at TAP and who is the current leader of the Western Resistance, has great attachment to her avatar body. To the point where many Resistance members have never seen her in her original body.
Later in the story when things begin looking up for the Na'vi and for the Sarentu children, Alma starts using phrases such as "our resistance" and referring to lost Sarentu artifacts that have been reclaimed as coming "back to us", and other like-minded words. And when she does this, she is IMMEDIATELY called out on it.
Alma is not Sarentu nor is she Na'vi, and although she plants her consciousness into the body of a lookalike, she is still, first and foremost, a human. And no matter how much she may try to forget that, how much she may wish to distance herself from the crimes of her people, the characters do not hold her hand and allow her to do so. The game makes it known that while she is doing the right thing now, she has no right to cram herself into a culture and people by jumping into their skin and playing pretend.
[ SPOILER WARNING ]
And the way this arc is resolved? By Alma losing her avatar form and being forced to confront the truth of who she is, a human that was complicit in the oppression of the Na'vi, most specifically the Sarentu.
The Sarentu do not get on their hands and knees and kiss Alma's feet for the ways she's helped them (now). No, SOME of them let her know they appreciate the good she's done, but that ultimately, there needs to be distance. That they are still their own people and need to rebuild without her interference. This clearly hurts Alma, but like an actually good ally, she respects the boundaries made and eventually backs off. The separation is a peaceful one.
[ SPOILER END ]
Alma does not become their Chosen Hero after she defects from the RDA. She is not given a standing ovation. And she is not even given a "thanks" from all of the Sarentu, some of them proceed to hate her guts. The reactions towards Alma, a former RDA member who defected to aid the Na'vi's survival, are wonderfully and realistically mixed.
Because, like the character So'lek says at the beginning of the game, the Na'vi are not a monolith. They are not all the same, nor will they all have the same views.
Various Na'vi characters in FOP have diverging opinions on the Human Resistance group. Some support them, some don't want to come within 10 feet of them. And both POVs are framed as valid by the narrative.
On the other hand in the 2009 movie, any Na'vi character that didn't immediately grow into liking Jake was ultimately punished by the writing.
Neytiri disliked Jake in the beginning of the movie, but as soon as Mo'at names her his teacher, a switch flips and all animosity is gone. She is still tough on him, that's just who she is, but it's clear any true ire is immediately washed away once she is given the role of 'teacher'. In comparison, Tsu'tey spends half the film irritated and distrustful of Jake. (And rightly so given that Jake is literally an RDA plant!!)
Like I've already said, Tsu'tey undergoes a blink-and-you'll-miss-it "arc" where once Jake becomes Toruk Makto, all negativity anyone held vanishes. Except Tsu'tey's timing is clearly too late, because the writing punishes his earlier animosity by killing him off in the final battle.
The same can be said for Eytukan, who was the one to suggest tying the avatars up after Jake reveals his initial goal. Eytukan's animosity is also punished with death, with him dying during the destruction of Hometree.
(It can also be said that these characters died both to punish them for their inability to "appreciate" Jake at a quicker pace, and to simply get them out of the way so Jake could become Olo'eyktan of the Omatikaya. Because how else could the White Human Savior become the leader of the people, if the leaders that were already there didn't "get out of the way" to make room?)
Conclusion
If you couldn't tell, I wasn't Avatar (2009)'s biggest fan my first time watching. For numerous reasons.
It wasn't until watching a playthrough of Frontiers of Pandora, that I realized a lot of my ire was towards Jake specifically (although there are many problems with the franchise as a whole), and if the story had just not been told from Jake's POV, and had been told from the POV of one of the Na'vi fighting for their home (Neytiri would be my first choice, Tsu'tey second), then I think I would've at least been able to enjoy it. It's hard for me to even watch Avatar (2009) because of how rampant the issues are in that movie. Or I suppose because of how central Jake is.
I wrote all this just to air out my thoughts. But if you're similar to me and felt like Avatar (2009) was "off", then I do suggest you take a look at Frontiers of Pandora and still see if you feel the same.
All this isn't to say FOP is the perfect game, mind you. It absolutely has flaws, ones that others have touched on and that I've noticed myself. But even with it's flaws, I'd take it's misgivings over Avatar (2009)'s atrocious ones any day.
34 notes · View notes