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male-fanfics-for-days · 4 years

Text

Pierced By Cupid

Tsukishima x Reader

A/n: I may have spent waaayy too much time on this one, so sorry if it seems like it was dragging on. Tsukki is a charater I went from hating to loving mostly bc I relate to him so much. Anyway, enough on that!! This has not be prof read so sorry for mistakes!!

ENJOY!!

EDIT: I made a part 2 which you can find here! The Jealous Type

At first, he didn’t really notice. He wasn’t looking for anything so there was no reason he really would have noticed, but when he did he was actually shocked by how he didn’t notice before.

A boy, only what he could guess was an inch shorter than Nishinoya with h/c hair and his school jacket off, was in his class studying at the time. Not surprising, however, it was a college prep class. But it was the way the boy kept glancing up at the clock that got Tsukishima’s attention, bouncing his feet and twirling his pencil in his hand while seemingly only somewhat paying attention to his studies.

The only reason Tsukishima was at all looking at the boy was because he was annoying, the boy just wouldn’t stop moving which reminded him of a certain ginger boy the made him groan in his head, prying to any god that he didn’t believe in that this boy wasn’t like the short, excitable spiker on his volleyball team.

Somehow, he got vibes that this boy was different, though he didn’t want to jump to a calming conclusion.

Soon the bell rang and he stood from his desk as it was time for him to get ready for the after-school volleyball club activities. The boy he was watching before, despite seeming anxious to get out of class, was calm in collecting his things. He put away his notebooks and pencils in a neat and orderly fashion, setting them all gently in his shoulder bag that looked brand new.

“Tsukki?”

Tsukishima blinked a few times, refocusing and looking down at his long time friend, who was staring up at him in confusion.

“What?” Was Tsukishima’s blunt response, starting to put away his own things as well, which were not much.

“You were drifting is all,” Yamaguchi muttered out, looking around the room as the other students left. “You were pretty far gone too.”

“The guy who sits behind you wouldn’t stop moving.” Tsukishima replied honestly, adjusting his headphones on his neck and making his way out of the room, Yamaguchi following by his side.

“The guy behind me?” Yamaguchi thought out loud, looking to the ceiling as they both made their familiar path to the club room to change. “You mean L/n-san?”

“I don’t know his name,” Tsukishima tisked, rolling his eyes while stuffing his hands in his pockets. “He was just moving so much and staring at the clock, it was annoying.”

“Hm, it’s probably because his petition for a club creation got accepted and it starts today.” Yamaguchi theorized, and despite his refusal to believe, Tsukishima found himself getting curious.

“... I didn’t think a first year would be allowed to do that.” He simply stated, both to keep the conversation going and to state a fact that he really didn’t know. Yamaguchi chuckled softly and nodded his head.

“Apparently it took a lot of convincing, both on L/n-san’s part and apparently his middle school teachers and a therapist.”

“And where did you hear all this?” Tsukishima prodded. Not to say he wasn’t interested in this tale, but it was an odd amount of information for his shy, freckled friend to have. “Gross, please don’t tell me you are gossiping now?”

“E-eh! N-No Tsukki!” He stammered, flustered. He waved a hand and looked up at Tsukishima. “The others in the class were talking about it while we were eating lunch… I wasn’t eavesdropping! They weren’t quiet about it!”

“What club did he want made, anyway?” Tsukishima swiftly changed the subject, much to the relief of Yamaguchi’s heart.

“Archery.”

“Archery?” Tsukishima echoed back, stopping his walking in the hallway just outside the door that led into the club room and gave Yamaguchi an inquisitive look. “Why archery?”

“I’m not sure,” Yamaguchi shrugged. “But, if it involved a therapist, he probably has a reason he likes archery.”

Tsukishima stood silent for a long moment in thought, which surprised Yamaguchi a small bit. Tsukishima was never one to show an interest in a subject that he wasn’t himself already interested in, but for him to be thinking about not only someone else, but what that someone else was interested in was like seeing a blue moon.

Finally Tsukishima gave a grunt and a shrug, opening the door to the club room and thereby bringing an end to that conversation.

--------------

The next day, Tsukishima found his gaze unwillingly going back to the boy from before. It seemed he wasn’t as anxious as before, though still bouncing his legs and twirling his pencil, he looked far more at peace today. Tsukishima wondered if it was because he got to do his archery club yesterday after school, like it was an itch that wasn’t satisfied until he had a bow and arrow in hand.

Tsukishima then began to wonder what that was like, to hold a bow and an arrow in hand, to release an arrow into a target several feet away from you. He’d never done it before so he let his mind wonder.

Was it fun? Did he get a lot of people to join the club? Is it like playing volleyball or like playing an instrument? What type of techniques does he do to hit the middle of the target with one clean release of a bow string?

The more he thought, the more his curiosity grew. He knew it was probably pretty obvious he was burning holes into the back of the boy's head, but he couldn’t help getting lost in his own head.

“Y/n-chan!”

A girl came bouncing into the classroom and Tsukishima was immediately annoyed, she was far too perky compared to the boy whose head raised at the sound of his name.

“Hello, Nachi-san… Why are you here?”

Tsukishima felt the corners of his mouth lift up at the boy, Y/n L/n’s, reactions. The girl gave a dramatic pout while placing her bento on his desk.

“We are supposed to be eating lunch together!”

Y/n looked up at the clock, then down to his desk, and then up at her before averting his eyes to the desk once more.

“I don’t remember saying that…”

“You don’t remember a lot of things.” She sassed back, putting her hands on her hips. Y/n glanced at her before bouncing his feet and twirling his pencil once more, the girl, Nachi, started to speak again.

“You also said we were going to study after school. I have a test coming up for math and you know how much I suck at math, really it’s as if it’s a whole other language. Speaking of language, we should study English together as well. You’re so go at it, I don’t think you have ever gotten below a 95%!”

As the girl rambled on with pointless conversation, Tsukishima could tell that Y/n wasn’t at all listening to what she was saying. It looked as if he just turned off his mind, eyes slowly drifting around the room, never on the or anyone for that matter. It was like he was seeing a different world before his eyes, and this was all while the girl continued to prattle on.

Tsukishima couldn’t stop the low chuckle that left his throat as he watched, the girl just now realizing that the boy she was speaking to had no idea she was even speaking in the first place.

“Y/n-chan!!”

Said boy flinched at her loudness, his hands going to his ears as he blinked rapidly at her, his brows frowning as she huffed at him.

“You were spacing out ag-”

“You should eat your bento before lunch ends.” Y/n dropped his hands to his desk, leg beginning to bounce once more as he looked at the clock. “I’ll be at archery after school, so I won’t be studying. Oh.”

Y/n then smiled at the girl, completely overseeing the fact that he cut her off and wasn’t listening to her.

“I bought a new bow yesterday with my father after the club, it is larger and is a more western type of bow. It has been really fun to use so far and I really can’t wai-”

“Did you even hear a word I said?”

The girl cut him off, glaring down at him with arms crossed. Y/n lost his smile and looked at her confused.

“When?”

“Just now!” She called out. “I was talking to you then you cut me off!”

“Oh…” Y/n’s joy that was once there faded quickly and he dropped his head in a bow. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to… I just had-”

“Never mind, Y/n-chan.” The girl sighed, shaking her head and picking up her bento. “I’ll go have lunch with my other friends.”

Y/n watched her leave silently, Tsukishima himself watching as well. He didn’t really understand it, but he was angry at the girl. Tsukishima himself was not someone with an overabundance of patience but even he could understand Y/n was not someone who could focus easily.

It was obvious that Y/n had a type of ADHD, the lack of focus on conversations, the constant moving, covering his ears with loud noises, interrupting mid sentence and rapid movement from topic to topic.

Despite all this Tsukishima was even more curious about the archery boy, and not for the reason he was before. Before he was curious on a basic level, why archery, why start a club, why so much movement, and so on. Now he knew more about it and was more curious on a deeper scale, why do archery if you had trouble focusing, why be in a college prep class that requires a lot of focus and study, why was it so difficult for him to start a club (despite the obvious fact of only being a first year).

Yamaguchi wasn’t at school for a family reason, as he had told Tsukishima threw a text, so when the day was through and time for him to go to his own club, Tsukishima found himself walking down the hall to a different gym then his usual.

It was went he heard solid swift thuds through the open door way of the gym that he found what he was looking for, in the blink of an eye, he saw arrows pass the view of the door then a satisfying thunk of the arrow finding its target.

Tsukishima stood in the entrance of the gym, looking from one side of targets to where the arrows were being shot from. Despite being in the view of Y/n, he was far too focused on the grip he had on the arrow and bow string to care about someone at the entrance of the gym.

He released the arrow with a breath out, and instead of a thunk deep into the target and Tsukishima expected, he instead he a snap and crack. Looking to the target, he allowed himself to be in shock.

The arrow just released had gone straight through the back of an already embedded arrow, leaving the first arrow split in two while the second arrow was stuck between the two split pieces.

“Wow, you’d better hope that’s not school property.” Tsukishima snickered, giving Y/n his ever famous smirk. Y/n looked a little shocked that anyone was there, let alone watching. He held his bow by his side, placing the arrow he was about to take out back in his quiver.

“It’s my own equipment.”

“Ah, so were you just trying to impress me?” Tsukishima continued to smirk, Y/n looked to the floor and shook his head before looking back up at Tsukishima.

“I didn’t know you were there… I don’t suppose you're here for the Archery Club?” Y/n mood seemed to shift from anxious to relaxed as he spoke the words archery, but Tsukishima shook his head.

“No, I’m on the volleyball team. I just came to see what the noise was, I’ll be leaving.”

He turned and walked away from the gym doors, his mind already thinking up an excuse for having to show up late for practice when he heard Y/n’s voice.

“You can come by anytime you want,” Tsukishima turned and looked at Y/n with a blank face, Y/n smiled a small corner smile. “The club was just made, so it’s only me. The teachers are going to find other students who want to join… Until then, it will just be me.”

Tsukishima and Y/n both stared at each other for a moment, Tsukishima not breaking his blank faced facade. He turned and walked away, throwing a comment over his shoulder before he fully walked away.

“We’ll see.”

---------------------

Y/n changed the times for his club, so instead of having it just after school he asked for the early morning as well, before school truly started. He was the time he set up so him and Tsukishima could spend more time with each other without Tsukishima getting in trouble for missing practice.

Their meetings have been happening for about 4 weeks, Yamaguchi formally meeting Y/n a week after Tsukishima had already been hanging out with the archer.

In such a time Tsukishima learned a lot about Y/n.

Archery was one of the only things that ever allowed Y/n to focus with an almost superhuman accuracy. It was also one of the ways he would study, more likely to remember the answers to a review if he nails a bullseye. Another thing he had learned was that Y/n was just as sarcastic as Tsukishima himself, the only difference is that Y/n never said it out loud.

Y/n had trouble with noise, specifically loud noises or the sound of multiple people talking at once. He once described the feeling to Tsukishima as he was cleaning his bow and arrows.

“When I hear a loud noise or a crowd of people, my whole body goes stiff. It started to become hard to breath and not matter how hard I try to block it out, I can’t move.”

Y/n sighed, letting the bow rest on his lap and on his crossed legs. He sat across from Tsukishima who was looking through Y/n’s notes, Tsukishima looking up at him pause.

“When that happens, I kinda… black out. My whole body suddenly feels like the energy was just sucked out of me,” Y/n looked at Tsukishima in the eyes as he gave a somewhat weak smirk. “I usually pass out when it happens.”

“... that sucks.” Tsukishima responded, Y/n giving him a blank look before rolling his eyes and standing.

“No shit, aren’t you supposed to be the smart one?”

Tsukishima smirked and looked up at the boy while raising a brow.

“Keep that attitude and I won’t let you eat my spare sweet bread.”

Y/n immediately turned back around, almost entirely forgetting he was supposed to be doing archery.

“WAIT YOU HAVE SWEET BREAD?!!?”

In the classroom, they simply acted as strangers. Not ignoring each other, but also not making a show of friendship. Tsukishima and Y/n both realized they were the same in that they didn’t really need to interact with each other constantly to know the other is still a friend.

Yamaguchi said how nice it was to see Tsukishima gain more friends, which Tsukishima quickly shot down as him not ‘making friends’ like a child. One of the reasons Tsukishima was quite upset with Yamaguchi about saying this was that he said it during volleyball which meant his other teammates heard it and were relentlessly teasing him.

Sure, he was good at dodging their questions and instead riling them up the way they tried with him, but his teammates genuinely wondered who this mysterious new friend of Tsukishima’s was.

None of them thought they would meet this friend today.

They were maybe 1/4th of their way into practice when they heard a soft voice call out to Tsukishima from the gyms door way, everyone in the gym turned their heads to see a short h/c boy standing with a shoulder bag over his shoulder, his uniform jacket around his waist and a grey notebook in his hand.

“Um… Tsukishima… You forgot your notebook in my gym.” Y/n held up the notebook as if to show proof of why he was interrupting their practice, he gave a deep bow to the coach and the other volleyball players. “Please excuse the intrusion.”

“You’re fine, kid.” Coach Ukai said, but the end of whatever he was going to say was drowned out by a few people Tsukishima never wanted meeting Y/n.

“Are you Tsukki’s new friend we’ve heard about?!” Tanaka called out, going straight up to Y/n who flinched a little at his loud voice, flinching more as Nishinoya jumped up and down next to him.

“Ah! You’re shorter than me!! I’m not the shortest anymore!!”

“You’re still the shortest on our team, however.” Tsukishima cut in, making his way over to Y/n who only relaxed a little more as Tsukishima stood next to him, taking the notebook.

Nishinoya was irked by Tsukishima’s comment, but it was Hinata that set off a bomb of questions aimed at the already slightly overwhelmed boy.

“OOOOHHH!!! You’re the first year that started the archery club, aren’t you!?!?”

“Uh… y-yea-”

“ARCHERY?!?! LIKE THE KIND SAMURAIS USE?!?”

“Well, not all the time but-”

“You’re the leader of that club right?? How many people have joined so far?”

“No-”

“Alright, calm down.”

Daichi tried and failed to calm the rambunctious trio, even Kageyama was muttering out questions. It took a moment to realize that this was what kind of chaos Y/n couldn’t listen to, and when Tsukishima looked down at the boy he could tell immediately he was not well.

His chest visibly stuttered, showing he was not breathing right, his skin went and lighter shade and his eyes were moving rapidly to each person who was talking and speaking over each other.

Tsukishima swiftly turned away and walked over to his extra school bag he brought with him, thanking his past self for finding a reason to bring it.

“Tsukki?” Yamaguchi softly called his friend, but Tsukishima was too focused on something else.

Tsukishima pulled out his headphones, an extra water bottle, his phone, and his black volleyball jacket. Standing back up and turning back to Y/n, who looked to be getting worse by the second, he put his plan to action.

Without even acknowledging the other people in the room, he put his headphones over Y/n’s head, placing them over his ears, plugging it into his phone and playing whatever music was available. He picked up Y/n’s hand and placed his phone in his grip, then put the water bottle in his other hand before putting one of his large hands over Y/n’s eyes, then glaring at the group that was round them.

Y/n leaned into Tsukishima’s hand that was over his eyes, his breathing slowly going back to normal, with puffs of air as he tried taking deep breaths.

“You’re all overwhelming him, idiots.” Tsukishima almost growled out, glaring at a specific four people. “Do any of you know what personal space is?”

He didn’t wait for a response as he took his hand off Y/n’s eyes and guided him to his bag, Y/n kept his eyes closed and took sips of the water before allowing Tsukishima to lower him to the ground next to his bag. Y/n curled his legs to his chest, putting the bottle beside him and clutching Tsukishima’s phone close to his chest, Tsukishima then placed his black jacket over Y/n like a cover, successfully blocking out the harsh gym lights.

Once he stood at full height, watching Y/n for a moment for any other signs of discomfort, he turned to his team and glared.

“If I knew you were all going to try and kill him, I would never have let you even know he existed, not that I wanted to in the first place.” His last comment was directed at Yamaguchi, who looked down.

“Gomen, Tsukki.”

“We didn’t try to kill him!!” Hinata cried out. “Will he be okay?!”

“Not if you keep yelling, you walking, human orange.” Tsukishima snapped, making Hinata irritated but covering his mouth.

Sugawara was the one that came over to Tsukishima, glancing down at the covered, curled up boy.

“Is he really okay? What was that?”

“He’s sense’s are hypersensitive. Like I said, he was overwhelmed.” Tsukishima replied, looking down at Y/n and sighing, before looking off somewhere else. “He’ll be fine, he just needs time to recover.”

“Would it be best for him to move to the club room then-”

“No.” Tsukishima quickly answered, cutting off Sugawara who seemed taken back by his quick answer. “Let’s just keep practicing. He’s fine here.”

There was a thick silence before Coach Ukai clapped his hands and told them to continue. Kiyoko and Yachi stood by Y/n as he hid away in Tsukishima’s jacket, making sure no stray volleyball hit him while he was recovering. The boys were also cautious of being too loud, especially Hinata, Tanaka, and Nishinoya, the loudest of their team.

Practice went on like normal and finished just the same, them all getting ready to change and go home. Tsukishima kneeled down in front of Y/n, who was still curled up and had his jacket over his head, and he slowly took the jacket from off him.

What he saw made his heart skip a bit in a way he never felt before.

Y/n had his arms crossed over his knees with his head laying on them, Tsukishima’s headphones still on his ears playing music while he slept peacefully. His cheek was pressed to his arms and his mouth was slightly one, little out tiny puffs of air.

He looked so small, so at peace. A peace Tsukishima has never seen on someone before, and watching his eyelashes flutter somewhat in his sleep as he dreamed, Tsukishima quickly realized what this feeling in his chest was and felt a heat rise to his face in response.

Slowly peeling his phone out of Y/n’s hand and taking his headphones back, he placed his hand on top of Y/n’s head and spoke softly to the sleeping boy.

“Hey, we’re leaving.”

Y/n didn’t stir for a moment, which made Tsukishima softly run his hand over Y/n’s head in a gentle pet to wake him up.

“Y/n.”

It was then that Y/n’s eyes fluttered open, Tsukishima moving his hand back to his side and watching as Y/n slowly woke up. He opened his mouth and let out a yawn, then lifted his arms over his head in a cat like scratch, letting his legs stretch out as well. He made little noises of someone just waking up, rubbing his eyes and he took in a deep breath, his eyes fluttering closed for a moment.

Tsukishima would first be found dead and as tall as Nishinoya before he would ever admit to thinking Y/n was currently the cutest being he has ever known and has ever existed, and he was really glad no one else was left in the gym to see it. He would never admit that he would have been jealous to know others saw Y/n’s cute display, to know that Y/n was like a plushy in human form.

“Your practice is over?” Y/n rasped out, his voice still soft from sleep.

To avoid being seen blushing, Tsukishima quickly went about packing his things.

“We are leaving now.”

“Oh… okay.”

---------------------------------

There was little to no talking among the two as Tsukishima changed and got ready, Yamaguchi had stayed in the club room to tell them both that the team was buying meat buns as an apology for what they did earlier.

Yamaguchi spoke with Y/n casually as they made their way down to their coach's store, Tsukishima only half listening to what they were saying, half thinking deeply to himself.

Did he really fall in love with this archer boy? Half of his mind reasoned with him that it wasn’t that surprising, seeing as they had a lot in common but they were also very different. That part of his mind admitted full force that he was in love and that he was allowed to have nice things like then.

Then came his logical side, with a list; they were both boys was the biggest, Tsukishima had never looked at guys romantically before, he knew Y/n for 4 weeks, outside of school he barely knew anything about Y/n outside of the small things he’s been told, Y/n himself doesn’t know much about Tsukishima since he never really made and effort to explain more about himself outside what he thought was needed, the team would probably never see him the same again, people in class would probably talk which was more annoying than anything.

He started thinking the same way he thought for volleyball, why try if it was going to end poorly, for both him and Y/n. Why risk all the bad things that could happen, no, that would happen.

‘I’m not in love’ He thought to himself conclusively looking down at the boys conversing next to him, but unfortunately for him, his heart had other plans.

Y/n had a tired smile that made his face shine in the most beautiful way, a gentle laugh leaving his chest as something Yamaguchi had said. His eyes squinting into crescent moons with crows feet wrinkling his slightly flushed cheeks, making them look soft in the moonlight. Then, he turned to look up at Tsukishima.

He knew at that moment that no matter how many times he would say it’s not true… he was pierced by this small cupid boy, and Tsukishima now knew what it felt like to be one of Y/n’s targets. Though, he was not complaining.

His eyes reflected the moon and were glossed in a still sleepy way, his eyes still crinkled at the corners and a smile now more soft than cloth could ever be. He was looking up at Tsukishima as if he had just handed him the earth and sky, and as dangerous as the feeling was, Tsukishima could feel in his chest that if Y/n asked for it, he would give him just that.

“I’m sorry if I made your practice more difficult, Tsukki.” Y/n said gently while shrugging his shoulder, unknowing of the effect of his voice and words on the tall boy's heart.

“... Tsukki?” Was the only thing that could leave his lips, his brain using every ounce of control it had not to turn into a blushing mess. He was so whipped for that small archer, and Y/n had no idea.

“Oh, sorry,” He bowed his head with a slight laugh. “Yama-san calls you that, so I thought I could as well.”

Tsukishima glanced over to his long time friend, who only gave a small chuckle in response.

“Mm.” Tsukishima didn’t risk his voice, knowing if he tried to say anything at the moment, he would in fact let loose that Y/n was more than welcome to call him anything.

“Oi! Tsukishima! Yamaguchi! Archer-san! Over here!”

The trio glanced up and saw the rest of the volleyball team outside the store, each eating a meat bun. Without knowing it, Tsukishima walked closer to Y/n’s side, and the only reason Y/n noticed was the warmth and was radiation off him.

They got closer and Daichi stepped forward, bowing to Y/n who became even more flushed then simply the evening air.

“I would like to formally apologize for overwhelming you before.”

The rest of the team bowed as well, making Y/n back up into Tsukishima, resulting in Tsukishima gently placing a hand on the small of his back.

“O-oh, it’s okay.” Y/n looked down and away, avoiding eye contact. “You’d be surprised how often that happens to me, I’m just glad Tsukki got to me before I collapsed.”

“Eh?! Would you have died?!” Hinata exclaimed in sheer worry, but flinched after seeing Y/n flinch himself from the loud tone of his voice. Hinata was hit in the head by Kageyama, who scowled at him.

“You’re too loud, boke.”

“Ugh! I--” Hinata was about to yell as just a natural reaction when talking to the dark haired setter, but glancing at Y/n who was slowly starting to hide behind Tsukishima, he growled low and glared at the ground. “...I know that.”

“Here,” Asahi came over to Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, and Y/n, handed them a bag filled with meat buns. “I got one for each team member and two for...eh...uhm.”

Asahi had to peek around Tsukishima’s back, everyone now noticing that Y/n basically hiding behind Tsukishima and staying close to his back while watching everyone. Y/n blushed and stuttered.

“E-eh, my names L/n Y/n.”

“L/y-kun.” Asahi finished, smiling shyly back at Y/n who gave one as equal.

Though it would go unnoticed as Tsukishima going into the bag to grab a meat bun held by Yamaguchi, what it really was was Tsukishima blocking everyone's view of Y/n.

Sugawara spoke next, smiling at everyone.

“As nice as it would be to get to know L/y-san, we have early practice tomorrow and it's getting colder.”

“Right,” Daichi said, “Tomorrow morning will be one by one training seeing what each of us can work on, so get well rested.”

“Yes sir!!”

Tsukishima gave the meat bun bag to Y/n and covered his ears, everyone else sheepishly looked on and replied again more quietly.

Yamaguchi said he needed to go to the grocery store to get a few things for his mother before he went home, so he told Tsukishima and Y/n to go without him. This left the two boys to walk home together, alone.

Y/n quietly munched on the meat buns while they walked, unknowingly shivering as he stared up at the evening sky, then to the buildings around in a distracted way. Tsukishima didn’t really know what his plan was, but he stopped Y/n from walking with an arm in front of him.

Y/n bumped into his arm, not seeing it before, then looked up at Tsukishima.

“What’s wrong?”

“You were going to trip over that.” Both Tsukishima and Y/n looked down and saw a large branch from a nearby tree in the way, Y/n went to pick it up but Tsukishima just used his foot to kick it out of the way.

He then began taking off his jackets and placing it on Y/n’s shoulders.

“You are also shivering.” Tsukishima looked ahead, acting as if this was no big deal. But he caught a glimpse of Y/n snuggling into his jacket more and had to look away, a silent cuss mouthing from his lips.

“Thank you, Tsukki.” Y/n said, continuing to munch on his snacks. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were being nice to me.”

Tsukishima, stopped walking, in turn making Y/n stop walking and look up at him. Tsukishima then places the back of his hand on Y/n’s forehead, Y/n himself looking on in pure confusion.

“Uh… Tsukki-”

“If you think I’m being nice, you must be sick.”

Y/n snorted and let out a hearty laugh, swiftly swatting away Tsukishima’s hand and stomping down the road like a child, all while Tsukishima hid a smile behind a smirk.

“You’re dumb.”

“Wow,” Tsukishima snarked, walking next to Y/n and looking down at him with his signature smirk. “Did you think of that one all by yourself? I’d say I’m proud but, I don’t care.”

Y/n laughed again, shaking his head, not noticing the look of pure admiration Tsukishima was staring at him with.

Despite the nervousness he felt of his feelings being found out, Tsukishima felt as if their conversation was as smooth as any. It wasn’t forced or uncomfortable, Y/n laughed freely and comfortably while Tsukishima joked and sent sarcasm his way. He would have thought that after knowing how attracted he was to the boy, he would have stopped being natural or at least would not be talking as much as he was at the moment.

But everything with Y/n was natural, as natural as the moon is to the stars. Their conversations switched and changed often, though Tsukishima felt no irritation as the excited glimmer in Y/n out weighed any negative thoughts.

Tsukishima hadn’t even really realized it until he and Y/n stopped in front of a house, that he was walking Y/n home and this was where they went their separate way.

Y/n neatly folded the bag that was now empty of meat buns and put it in his pocket, slowly taking off Tsukishima’s jacket and handing it back to him.

“Here, thanks again for letting me use it. And it was nice to meet your team.”

Tsukishima took his jacket back, flushing slightly at touching Y/n's hand and looking off.

“Even despite the fact they almost made you pass out.”

“Well, in truth they did make me pass out, but luckily you were there so I didn’t collapse and make a fool of myself.”

“I don’t think that is what makes you a fool, Y/n.”

Y/n puffed up his cheeks and slightly hit Tsukishima’s arm, Tsukishima not feeling anything and just smiling it off. Y/n turned to his house and walked to his door, not wanting their fun to end but they would see each other again tomorrow.

Knowing they would be together again tomorrow, even for a short while, made Y/n’s chest swell with joy.

“Y/n.” Y/n had just put his hand on the door handle when he heard Tsukishima’s voice.

“Yeah, Tsukk--”

He turned to face Tsukishima, but he didn’t expect him to be so close. Practically pushed up against the door, Y/n looked up only in time for Tsukishima to lower his head and made their lips touch.

Y/n’s eyes immediately fluttered shut at the warmth that suddenly filled him body, the smell of Tsukishima intoxicating him just as his jacket had been for so long.

In truth, if it were anyone else, Y/n would not have calmed down so quickly, he would not have felt comfortable enough to fall asleep just anywhere, he would not have felt comfortable letting just anyone touch him the way Tsukishima had.

And in return, Tsukishima didn’t know anyone that made him open up as fast as Y/n did, not even Yamaguchi, his childhood friend. He had always been closed off and unwilling to put his whole heart into things, with fear of failure, heart break, rejection. But through this kiss, through connecting his lips to Y/n’s, he was saying that his heart was open to Y/n and only Y/n. Somehow, through the 4 weeks of knowing one another, it was like cupid's arrow was destined to pierce them both.

They pulled apart, the breath mixing as they stayed close, the lips brushing over each other as they soaked in what had happened.

“Kei.” Tsukishima’s voice came out in a hushed tone, one that made Y/n swoon.

“Wha--”

“If we are going to be together,” He continued, standing straight and looking down at Y/n’s flushed face with a smile. “Call me Kei.”

Y/n stood in shock, but as many things in his head, he was quick to smile back and Tsukishima. He allowed his heart to swell with the only thought of the tall boy with glasses and a sarcastic attitude, Tsukishima too allowing his mind, body, and soul to be only filled with the short, just as funny, archer boy who stole his heart in record time.

“Well… goodnight then… Kei.”

“Goodnight, Y/n.”

#haikyuu x male reader #haikyuu!!#tsukishima x reader #x male reader #tsukishima x male reader #tsukishima kei #haikyuu x reader

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strwberrytae · 3 years

Text

So Long, Farewell, and Goodbye For Now -

“I don’t know how you are so familiar to me—or why it feels less like I am getting to know you and more as though I am remembering who you are. How every smile, every whisper brings me closer to the impossible conclusion that I have known you before, I have loved you before—in another time, a different place, some other existence.” - Lang Leav

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Hello, You ♡ Yes, You. You ethereal, beautiful being. I am writing to you with bittersweet yet wonderful news - depending on the perspective. I am writing this post to inform all of you that I will no longer be writing for this blog for the foreseeable future. What I mean by that is that I am not giving up writing forever, no. But my life has changed so much over the last two years, I do not see myself writing again for quite some time. But don’t worry! I will be back!

Below the Read More section, I have poured my heart and soul into the real reasons why I’ve made this decision. I warn you, it’s lengthy but it’s everything that has led up to this over the years. So, if you fancy, have a read. If not, I bid you farewell and wish you all the happiness in the world. Thank you for supporting me so far. I truly appreciate it and love you all very dearly. Now, if you wish to read it at a later time, I will have a link available on my page at all times for anyone who is curious. It’s a hell of a story if you ask me ~

Edit: Made by Me - also, a surprise photo at the end Warnings/Triggers: Talks of emotional abuse, depression, and suicide but also happiness and love -

When I first started this blog, it was 2016. I had been on Tumblr for over a decade now but BTS led me to writing passionately for 2 years. I was incredibly active and utterly consumed by this website. Not just for the writing, but I was so obsessed because of my friends and mutuals that I made along the way. Can I just say that I’ve met some incredible people on this platform - including my best friend and soulmate? Truthfully, the absolute best friend I have ever had. But more importantly, Tumblr was my greatest escape. I mean this website truly has been my saving grace through very dark times.

In that part of my life, I was in an extremely toxic relationship; by then, it was 6 years I was with him. He was emotionally abusive, had such a short-fuse temper, hated everyone I knew which led me never really seeing any of my friends after college, knew I was anorexic and did nothing to stop me, knew I had depression since we started dating and always argued it as if it wasn’t real, crushed my dreams and ambitions, mocked potential suicide attempts, expected me to just abandon all hope to ever leave home to explore someplace new or get a job that I actually love. He was...just the worst. Never hit me though, so I’m grateful for that. But sometimes I wish he would so it would have given me the voice I needed to get out of that relationship much sooner than I did. But regardless, because of him plus having a soul-sucking job that wore me down to the core, Tumblr was my escape. BTS was my escape.

I fell hard and I fell deep. I created a fantasy world within this world. All of my dreams, fantasies, desires, and hopes were poured into my writing. My imagination was running wild. My activity was through the roof because I was always on here day in and out, just pretending like the outside world didn’t exist. It consumed me...but I needed it. Looking back, it was pretty excessive. At the time, I seemed perfectly normal because everyone else was just as active and saying the same things and doing the same things. I felt a belonging, like I fit in.

But I hated the person I became. It took me getting yelled at, mocked, ridiculed, and belittled by my ex to snap me out of that illusion I built and back into reality. That was the roughest night that we had filled with lots of screaming on his end and crying on my part. He thought my obsession was sick. He thought it was disgusting. It all started because he found fake texts I had made with Jimin and Tae. Don’t recall the story it was a part of but he thought they were texts with the actual members… In my eyes, I should get credit for making them look so legit but he didn’t see it that way. He thought fangirling over men was essentially cheating. No matter how hard I tried to explain, he didn’t understand. But a part of his view was right. I learned that I was a bit too much into it and I really needed to take a step back from Tumblr for a while. So I did. I deactivated my account and disappeared for months. Also because he made me and threatened our relationship if I didn’t. Should have taken the out but ah well.

Just two months prior to this incident, I attempted suicide. Well, contemplated. Everything was planned out. Bought a hotel room for Thanksgiving night as I was working a super late shift until about 1-2am. My commute home was an hour long and I still had to come back to work at 7am. So I got a room. Brought a large amount of pills with me and I was going to call it. No notes written to friends, family, or loved ones. Nothing. I was done. Didn’t think anyone would miss me. I just figured the world would keep turning without me. I had thought about doing this several times before but this was my first time making plans for it. It was my lowest of the low. But then I met someone that night that changed my life entirely just in a 10 minute interaction of talking - nothing special. We’ll get to that later. But this person just gave me hope and to this day, I still can’t explain it. It was euphoric. I felt clarity. It was in that night that I thought I might hold out just a little bit longer.

And thus @strwberrytae was born - but it was far from the same. At first, I restarted the blog in secret. Why would I do this? Why would a 25 year old open a blog in secret? Well, two months after the awful fight, my ex proposed to me and I said yes. I know. Believe me, I know. I was scared. My depression was getting worse again. I no longer had an escape except for books. All I did was read so I had some sort of reality to be in besides my own. But returning to a brand new blog did not give the same satisfaction as returning to an old blog.

I worked so hard on my first blog and this redo, I tried to consider it as a gift. Perhaps this was a chance to start anew and rebrand myself. This optimism kept up for quite some time. Slowly, I added my favorite past works then added some new chapters. If you’ve been here with me since 2017, you would know that my appearance on Tumblr was still not the same. Then I got married in October.

An empty, loveless marriage that I regret to this day. Needless to say, my writing and activity on Tumblr was still practically non-existent as I was still too scared of getting caught. Even though he finally gave me permission to use it again because he could tell how miserable it was making me. Yes, gave me permission. Thankfully, it all ended after a year. I finally went to a therapist even though I hated them so much and all past therapists I had. She was pretty great. Within five sessions, I summoned the courage to break up with this guy. I was finally set free. Nearly 9 years together and I finally felt like I could breathe.

Unfortunately, although I was free, I had to live with the guy for about 5 months after the breakup. Which was beyond rough, believe me. Imagine someone writhing in pain and bawling their eyes out and venting non-stop about all of their faults and wrongdoings every single day. At the end of the day, as shitty as he was to me, he was my best friend too. We went through a lot of shit together and he did have some good sides to him too. So witnessing this was horrendous. Needless to say, I wasn’t getting much privacy either. Writing was not my top priority. Now it’s 2019 and things changed drastically for the better - and worst.

Remember the person I met in 2016 on Thanksgiving night? Well, that person is someone I crushed on every since that night. For 2 years. People, I’m telling you. He did absolutely nothing special that night. He didn’t flirt with me. He didn’t check me out. He didn’t do anything remotely to make a girl swoon but I was so drawn to him. The only word that could describe it was “cosmic” - beautifully cosmic.

Well in January 2019, 2 months following my break up, he came into my store one day. And my god did he look incredible. He was dressed head to toe in black - a fitted black suit at that. He even wore this long, designer jacket to match. Hair shaved on the sides with beautiful, thick dark hair on top. So tall - 182cm. A smile that could kill; quite literally. The canines are on point. He looked like a five course meal. That day, he definitely flirted with me. By the end of the week, we had our first date. Sadly, I also lost my job in the same week and was unemployed for a year because no one would hire me. I was laid off and one of my seniors took my job. Of course, they needed to keep me around for the holidays and then give me the boot. I was devastated. I hated that job so much as it only aided in fueling my depression but losing it was definitely an amazing thing. And! I survived on my savings and definitely didn’t spend my time writing. I had life to sort out last year - like from the ground up. No worries though. I got a job in February 2020 and I love it, so it’s all good, baby. Now I’m in the health field and feel like I’m actually helping people, which I love.

Now, here we are 2 years later and I’m engaged to the man. Someone who makes me smile everyday, believes in me, encourages me, let’s me be 100% myself, travels with me, taught me how to love myself, taught me to accept my body, gets me on a level that only my best friend could, and someone who goes above and beyond every single day to show me how much he loves me. Bonus, he welcomes my love for BTS with open arms, reads my writing, AND has even been sucked in himself to the fandom. Jungkook and Jimin, look out. You got another fanboy. I thought true love was impossible for me but I was very, very wrong.

He has shown me that I can be happy and I have finally experienced true happiness. When people ask how I’m doing, I don’t cringe and lie through my teeth. I smile and say that I am doing well because by George, I am. Everyone around me has seen me over the last two years and made the comment, “you look so much happier”. They meet him and swoon just as much as I do. Is he perfect? No, he’s not. He has flaws just like everyone else but he actually grows and learns from his mistakes to better himself. That’s what amazes me the most. Even if we argue, which is seldom, he refuses to let it go without resolution so we can always fix whatever the issue is. As we like to call it, we’re in-sync. In everything, we’re always so in-sync. I’m wildly in love, my dudes.

So, why am I not writing anymore? To put it simply, I’m happy and don’t really feel the desire to write anymore - at least not fanfiction. Even when I was super young, like elementary school, I used writing as an outlet for my dark escape. I wrote poetry primarily and by middle school, it turned to fanfiction for Supernatural, Simple Plan, and Panic! At The Disco. Along with a very long list of other bands and shows but anyways. I’ve been severely depressed since I was 15 and fanfiction put me in this hole that I couldn’t get out of. I relied on this method to help me get through all the bad shit I was dealing with. It was my coping mechanism.

Now? While depression never truly goes away as the lovely disease that it is, I am genuinely happy. Because of this, when I opened all of my past works and works in progress, I felt nothing but guilt. Guilt for not keeping up with my chapters or keeping my account active. I felt dread to have to escape in this world that I had created. I felt no joy or excitement. It was the strangest feeling that happened all in a matter of seconds. Thus leading to my final decision to take a step away from writing. Do I still love it? Absolutely. But now I think I’m going to re-route and focus my writing on what I love - reality. I’m going to get back into journaling and write essays about love and beauty as I’ve always loved to do. But for escaping into a fantasy world? I don’t know when I’ll be back.

Now I know what you’re thinking. “But you can write and be happy!” Nah fam. Writing has been my aid through dark times and now I mostly associate it with those dark times. And for once in my life, I feel this desire to enjoy reality and remain in it - with the exception of journaling here and there. Even daydreaming is difficult. It’s strange. I love my reality. This sounds like gloating now but it’s truly a remarkable feeling. When you’ve been battling depression for 15 years, it feels really freaking nice to say that I’m happy.

So that’s why I’m taking a break - in a very long, drawn out way. But my hope was that after this long story, you might understand truly why I am doing this. It would have been easier to just say that writing doesn’t bring me joy anymore but I feel that I owe more than that; especially because I really don’t know if I’ll write for this blog ever again. The last time I took a break, I disappeared without being able to explain myself and I wanted to do so now that I have the chance.

Ultimately, thank you to everyone who has stuck by me over the years. It’s truly been one hell of a rollercoaster. The friends I’ve made on here have seen me at my lowest of the lows. But hey! I’ll still be around. I just won’t be publishing or continuing any of my works anywhere in the near future. Seriously though. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. This website has helped me tremendously and I’ll never forget it. Besides, there’s lots of other exciting things happening in my life now so you’ll certainly see me pop in here and there to talk about it ♡

If you wish, you can message me for questions or anything you want to know. I’m an open book - at least about most things hehe. And don’t worry. I still very much love Taehyung and still wildly obsessing over how marvelous he is. Umf.

(here’s some recent photos of me as i rarely take selfies anymore haha. and a derp photo of me and the man i love >_< why is the cutest photo of him with the worst photo of me? still cute though hehe)

#me #personal #goodbye for now #no longer writing #bts writer

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damn-stark · 4 years

Text

Snips

Chapter 3 of Dark Temptations

A/N- I really love how this chapter turned out! I’m so excited to continue this series!! I really am loving how it’s turning out :) hope you all like it too! :) also you can’t tell me Luke wouldn’t be the softest dad. Because he would! Let me know what you thought?!

Warning- swearing, angst, slow burn, long chapter, slight violence

Pairing- Dark!Poe x Skywalker!reader

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

————

“Hey, Snips.”

A smile grows on your lips at the sound of the soft and familiar voice greeting you, at the incredibly strong and positive force that surrounded you, vibrating off like calm waves from one single person.

Your eyes drifted up to see her striped montrals come to view first, before you sat up and took in her whole ghostly being. Noticing the same, familiar warm grin plastered on her gentle and orange features. Showing that even if she was a ghost, that one could look so lively. Glowing with a happiness that was yet to be matched by any living person. While her eyes shone a brighter and deeper blue than that blue hue that permanently surrounded her whole being.

Your grin widened and you instantly matched her soft and excited tone; “Hey, Master Tano.”

“Sunbathing?” She queried.

You sigh and fall back on the grass, “more like waiting. Patiently. Very patiently.”

“The new Padawan not here yet?” Master Tano—Ahsoka, asked—her name was still hard to get used to. Even if it has been years since she’s been correcting you, almost begging you to call her Ahsoka. Saying that your relationship was that much more than one of a Padawan and Master. “We’re friends. Best friends.” She would say. “No need for formalities.” She was right of course, but it was formalities that were permanently engraved in your mind.

Thanks dad.

You shake your head and from the corner of your eye watch as Ahsoka leans back, resting her hands by her sides on the grass. Looking as if she was and could take in the warmth of the sun on her face, her eyes on the sky, but her attention solely on you as you continued speaking. “No, she’s late.”

“She’ll show. Just got to be patient.” She chuckles, “more patient.”

You scoff, “Hmm, aren’t you supposed to be busy doing...I don’t know ghost stuff? Y’know instead of stalking me?”

Ahsoka giggles and snaps back with equal the attitude, “aren’t you supposed to be training?”

You chuckle and sit up to fully face her and quip. “I have a schedule, remember?” Ahsoka meets your gaze and the white marking on her right eyebrow bone lifts, shooting you curious look; “early morning, get up, get ready for the day, meditate, then join dad, Jacen and Ben for breakfast with the other Padawans. After that chores, then annoy Jacen. Not done yet, because this Padawan was supposed to come, so, that’s still on hold. But after that it’s talk with my favorite Jedi Master. Check.”

Ahsoka grins, “right on.” She then meets your fist to share a light fist bump at your comment.

You continue, “then more chores. Training with you or dad. Lastly annoy Ben before going to sleep and ending my day.”

“For such a busy person,” Ahsoka teases, “you’re surely doing a whole lot of nothing.”

“Ha. Ha. Funny.”

Ahsoka shrugs nonchalantly, “I know. Must be a Skywalker shared thought. Your grandfather thought I was funny too.”

You shake your head and smirk, “I’m sure he did.” Before you could add something else, the sound of a motor catches your attention, making you jump to your feet and look past the jungle trees, blocking the sun from your eyes with your hand to get a better view at the approaching speeder and who was riding it.

“You think that’s the Padawan?” Ahsoka questioned as she stood up to watch the same thing.

You shrug, “I don’t know…” you trail off, catching sight of what appeared to be a man. His face became more distinguishable the closer he got. A head of dark curls visible first before the sun hit and made clear of the tan face he carried. “Nope. Not the Padawan.” You interjected at the discovery of the seemingly young man on the speeder heading your way.

“Well, we'll talk later, okay? So you can tell me all about the cute visitor.” Ahsoka added with a final smile, her face and body fading away until there was nothing but the view of your father's jedi temple and the young man now a couple feet in front of you.

He gets off his parked speeder bike and his eyes fall on you before they begin to search for something behind you.

“Hello.” You greet with a warm grin, pulling the guys brown eyes back to you with an added smile on his lips.

“Uh, hi.”

You clasp your hands in front of you and search his face for a moment. Coming to a full conclusion that this was not your wanted Padawan; “since you don’t seem to be the Padawan I’m waiting for, I’m going on a whim here to say you’re here for Jacen?”

The young man's eyes widen in recognition at the sound of the name. “Yeah actually, he said he was going to be here.”

You scoff and shake your head, “oh well, of course he’s not here.” You look over your shoulder to see if your brother was anywhere in sight, but alas and to no surprise he wasn’t. “He’s probably busy. And I emphasize the word busy, sucking faces with his girlfriend or smoking. Sorry. You’re welcome to wait or I can go search for him if you want.”

The young man chuckles. A laugh that was meant whole heartedly and not feigned, his shoulders shaking as he did something so simple—“I’m fine. I think I’m in perfect company until he comes.”

You feel a heat crawl on your cheeks, suddenly being overwhelmed by the flustering state he put you in. A first, and a action not done by anyone before..until now; “Oh, well,” you smile and fumble to find any more words without making them sound like gibberish. He was a couple years older than you, you needed to remember that. Being your brother's friend and all. But when the sun caught and brightened the charming grin on his lips; one that showed how perfectly white his teeth were, how his eyes showed the same amount of happiness and glow you couldn’t help but grow more flustered.

What the hell was wrong? This is not you. Pfft.

Seeing your current state, he leaned his body on his speeder and proceeded to introduce himself with the same smile. “I’m Poe. Poe Dameron.”

You twist your Padawan braid between the pad of your index and thumb finger and smile shyly. “I’m y/n Skywalker. Jacen’s sister.”

“Oh, yeah he’s told me about you,” he points, “his as he says and I quote, “my annoying little sister.”

You scoff again, “Well I never said he was my favorite so. Whatever.” You sigh, “anyway if you want I can take you to him, or I can take you to the mess hall while you wait. I made food that hasn’t gotten touched, it would be a shame to throw it away. If you’re hungry that is.” But maybe it’s because you had no friends to eat your food. Your father wasn’t here and Jacen and Ben were somewhere around, the only friends you did have couldn’t eat because they were ghosts of past Jedi. Maybe it’s time to make friends with living people...but then again, they aren’t fun as the ghosts you hang out with. So, it’s better they way you are.

Poe shrugs, “sure I’m up for it.”

You grin and turn to guide him towards the hall, but when you try, the one and only, Jacen, appears a couple feet away with Ben Solo in tow. Looking like a matching set next to one another. One is never far from the other, like twins almost. Only they weren’t that. Looking as always, or at least Jacen all high mighty like he ruled this temple and those in it. Stuck up silly boy. Not at all how Ahsoka described your grandfather or grandmother to be. Sure they had flair to their step, being who they were, but Jacen over passed flair and went straight to stuck up, spoiled daddy’s boy. At least Ben wasn’t that way, even if he was considered a Prince; he was like his mother in that way, sweet and more genuine. Even if Jacen did get to him at times.

Anyhow, disregarding your cousin and brother's demeanor's, you let out an annoyed sigh, noticing right away the glare on Jacen’s pale and slim face, his blue eyes almost seeming to show a red hue due to his anger. A detail that was caused by the sun reflecting on his irises, one if you hadn't noticed such an effect would have thought his eyes changed colors with his aggravated mood. And for what reasons was he mad? Going by the glare he threw to his friend, and you were guessing here, would be because his friend was talking to you—when did he decide to be the caring older brother?

“Dameron,” your brother smiles, “I’m sorry I’m late, man.” For such a cold glare, he knew how to give a warm and genuine welcome. “I hope my sister wasn’t bothering you”

You frown and huff, feeling him very smoothly tug you towards him without showing Poe his true intentions of why he had pulled you away—“You’re rude and maybe if you were early I wouldn’t have to greet your friends.” You snap.

Jacen’s eyes drift to meet your own, his jaw clenching and showing you a feigned smile. “Go, dads back, go greet him.”

“Fine.” You turn to Poe one last time and offer him one last smile. “I’ll see you around, Poe.” Said man smiles in return, not really caring for your brother's death glare. Not like you cared either—Using a bit of the force you spin back on your heels and offer Ben a warm smile before leaving the group of boys and heading towards your father's strong force presence. Unknowingly keeping Poe's attention on you as your father soon came into view, a warm and kind smile on his lips at the sight of you welcoming him back from a failed recruitment mission.

“Dad!” Quickly you throw your arms around his neck and feel his own arms wrap around you to return your embrace, the long sleeves from his Jedi robes becoming a warm secure blanket on your back. As his familiar natural citrus smell engulfs your nose in its refreshing smell. A welcoming smell, just like he was a welcoming sight after what felt too long being without him.

“Hey, kid.” He warmly greets, pulling away from the embrace to cradle your cheek, “is it just me or is it every time I come back from being away you just get older?”

You shrug nonchalantly and refer to his graying hair. “I think you’re the one getting older.”

He chuckles and pulls away, shrugging off the pack hanging from his shoulder, his eyes looking for who you presumed was Jacen. “Where’s your brother?”

Yep that was it.

You scoff, “off being an ass.”

He raises an eyebrow to your choice of word, a reaction you knew wasn’t welcomed lightly, or at all. He wasn’t a fan of profanity, especially since you were to set an example to the other students since you were who you were. It didn’t stop you though, and you knew he let some bad choice words slip himself, you’ve heard him.

“Sorry.” You mutter.

He shakes his head and proceeds to pull out a small bag from his pack. “I stopped by Naboo before coming back here and when I was there I got you this.” He pulls your hand that was resting at your side to place the pouch on your hand, his smile glowing with happiness. “It isn't anything big, but I hope you like it.” Not being to hold your anticipation, you open the pouch and pull out a silver chain with a japor snippet charm hanging from it. The simple yet meaningful gift makes you grin and wrap him in another hug. “I made one for you brother too—I carved it out myself, I just needed something to hang it from. It’s like the one your grandfather gave your grandmother. It's supposed to mean good fortune. And well when I’m gone for too long so you can remember me.”

“I love it.” You happily exclaim as you feel him place a kiss on the crown of your head. Pulling away shortly after to discover something extra in the pouch. Treats from Naboo, his favorite treats, just like yours. A gift you knew he added so you’d share; “Thank you, dad.”

He wraps his arm around your shoulder and begins to guide you into the temple, the same kind smile on his face as he added with equally as kind words, “love you kid.”

——

(Ben Solo p.o.v)

“Where’s my daughter?”

Ben blinks, his lips parting try to form any word, just any word. To explain in the best way possible to his uncle and former Master that the only daughter he had. The last breathing child he had was being held captive by Snoke inside the First Orders capital ship. Of course he could just simply release that news to him like that. But by the look on his face, he preferred to let it out as easy as possible.

“She’s alive, I’m going to go back for her,” Ben revealed confidently, earning a narrowed look regardless of his choice of words. “Whatever it takes.”

Ben’s mother began to walk towards her brother, a softened look expressed on Luke's eyes, his attention falling on her for a second, his concerned expression appearing again as Ben finished speaking. “Possibility is that the ship they had her on isn’t going to be in the same coordinates, but I know people, I can search here for their location. I will go back for her, I promise.”

Luke sighed, “she’s my only daughter. I can’t…” he paused for a short second, if Ben hadn’t been paying attention to Luke, it would be an action that would have gone unnoticed, just like the crack in his voice. “I won’t lose her too. I’ll go with you.”

With you? Really? Is that what he said?

First, no one except for y/n herself knew where he was after he isolated himself. Second this is the first time in years Luke has ever talked to Ben. His mother sure, a couple times before he completely cut contact, but it had been years since anyone had seen him until now. Did he just expect Ben to know where he was?

Ben’s eyebrows furrowed his lips parting to say his peace before Luke interjected. “I can’t stay like this for too long.” He explained, referring to his current...state. “I shared the coordinates of where I am with your mother, come to me and we’ll go get my daughter.”

Before Ben could even nod to agree with what he suggested, or commanded, Luke disappeared, leaving nothing but simple coordinates in his mother’s mind through their force connection.

Ben cleared his throat and let his eyes wander the crowd that had gathered, noticing that they had begun to disperse at the sight of Luke gone and Ben’s hardened gaze searching the crowd. All of them pretending that they were now “busy”. Bullshit—“Let’s search for the coordinates on the datapads.” Ben said to his mother, her gaze turning to see him and expressing her motherly concern. Even after she had slapped him.

Well maybe he deserved that.

“Let’s get you patched up first, Ben.”

Ben shook his head and stubbornly began to head towards the datapads inside base. His words somewhat wavered as he walked ahead. “no, first we get those coordinates down, before anything else.”

“You’re hurt.”

“It doesn’t matter.” He cut her off, “y/n is still out there. I-I can’t and won’t let them keep her as some prisoner. The longer she’s out there, the higher the possibility it is for her to get hurt.” Ben sighed, “we know how she is.”

His mother sighed, unsure of what to really say to ease his worry. “she’s like her father, Ben. She’s strong and patient, she’s going to be okay.” She tried assuring him, but it didn’t at all coax his worry. That reason was exactly why he was worried. “She’d want you looked out after first.”

Ben sighed, “I know. But let’s just first figure out where he is.” Having no other choice, his mother stopped trying to tell Ben otherwise. She knew she wouldn’t win in this argument.

But maybe she should have, basing off the stares he was getting the further he walked into base with his torn clothing, bruised face and busted lip. It’s like they’ve haven’t seen someone hurt before, or seen him. Maybe it would have been better if he had gone somewhere else that wasn’t here….

“And you tell me who can outrun a band of bounty hunters with a inch of fuel left in their ship?”

“You.”

“I’m not one to brag, but yeah. Me.” The old man chuckles, straightening out the invisible wrinkles on his jacket and receiving a smack on the arm by the tall and hairy Wookiee sitting beside him not mere seconds later. “And Chewie. Don’t worry buddy I didn’t forget you.”

Yeah it was definitely better if he had chosen to travel somewhere else.

The old man’s dark brown eyes spot Ben from across the room, his eyes widening in recognition, the smile that grew faltering until it completely fell at the sight of Ben’s visible wounds.

“When did dad get back?” Ben quietly questioned his mother who walked behind him, his hand flying to his ribs at the sharp sting of pain.

“Earlier today.”

Ben hummed, making his way to his father regardless of his current feelings on him. A noticeable happy look on his father's face once he reached him. Not one that really made it on Ben’s face, but he tried. He was trying. “Dad, Chewie.” His eyes shifted to the pilot his father had shown off to. One of y/n’s friends….special friends; His breath hitched and his eyes drifted nervously to the ground with a very faint and shy smile spreading on his lips. “Hi, Mara.” Said girl smiled and offered him a short nod, her dark eyes searching for only one person who wasn’t by his side. The smile she contained slowly falling.

“Where’s Jaina?”

Who?

Ben blinked, an obvious puzzled look growing on his face, until the light bulb in his head went off a couple minutes later—right, y/n’s fake name to keep her real identity a secret. Right. “She’s….” Ben blanked again, a wave of guilt crashing within him. “She’s..not here.”

Mara answered with a soft “oh”, his theory of her answering with just silence, debunking as she looked up at him with concern. “Are you okay? Do you need me to patch you up? I have some free time.”

His dad tried to hide his proud smile behind his hand, but Ben caught the gesture and hoped Mara didn’t. Ben offered her an assuring smile nonetheless and ignored his dad. “uhh no,” he swallowed thickly at how much more nervous he was beginning to get, “later?”

She smiled and nodded, “okay, I’m here all day so,” she grinned at her own joke before finishing her comment. “Come look for me when you want.”

Ben offered a short nod in agreement and watched quietly as she walked away with Chewbacca, his gaze lost on her figure as she swayed her hips in a confident way, he smiled shyly at the thought of talking to her later, until all the excitement went away when his dad broke him from his stupor, expressing his concern for Ben’s beloved cousin. Or sister as everyone knew her here. “Ben what’s wrong? Where’s y/n? What happened?”

Ben responded with silence, turning to walk towards his intended destination, hearing as both parents paced behind him, ultimately having to force himself to answer with a grumble. “I’m going to get her.”

“Ben.”

“I’m okay, dad, really.” Ben winced softly, his face swallowed by the holo-computers bright blue hue in front of him. Ben’s fingers typing a whirlwind of buttons in a matter of seconds before looking over his shoulder to his mother who had barely caught up to him. “Could you please give me the coordinates.”

His mother nodded and pushed Ben to the side, quickly inserting what was needed before a strange new map flashed on, marking a path to the unknown regions of the galaxy. “Are you sure this is it?” Ben wondered before he zoomed into the new marked planet, his black eyebrows furrowing as he tried to decipher what it was and how the hell he was going to get there. He couldn’t go in the ship the First Order had so generously gifted him. Mainly because he knew it would be tracked. And he couldn’t on any of the ships here because they were all just one seater fighter ships. The only thing he could do was—Ben’s eyes slowly slid to his father, a soft sigh escaping his lips at the thought.

“Yes it’s there.” His mother remarked. “It wouldn’t be wrong.”

Ben ran a hand through his hair and then rested his hands on the table. Letting his mother explain to his father what this was and what had gone on just moments ago with her long lost twin brother. A mixture between excitement and confusion expressed on his father's face.

“Dad…” Ben paused and sighed again, hesitating to even continue. Just digging the heel of his boot into the stone ground, barely now feeling the high heat of D’Qar on him. Making sweat beads roll down his forehead as he tried to ask his father one simple question. “Could I use the Falcon?”

“To get your uncle and save y/n?” His father asked as he crossed his arms over his chest; Ben nodded stiffly, letting that be the only reaction his father needed to continue with a smug grin. “Of course. But your mother, chewbacca and I are going too.”

Ben froze and his eye twitched at the comment, his lips parting to protest. “But—”

“No.” His father interjected. “You’re crazy to think we’re letting you do this alone after what happened. Your partner in crime may be gone, but we’re here.”

“But mom has a base to run, she can’t leave.” Ben tried to argue, his father as stubborn as him.

“It’s okay. She can leave someone in charge. We won’t be gone for long. We’re going with you, end of discussion.”

Ben sighed and hesitated for a moment, knowing damn well that there was no point in arguing. “Fine.”

His mother and father smiled before Han added another comment. “Gives us the excuse to finally reunite the old crew. How about that?”

Ben feigned a smile and offered a short nod. “Great. Just great.” Well this was going to be an adventure—if only this was a different situation and y/n was here. She would have made this more tolerable. She would have loved his father's idea. She would have jumped for joy.

Stars. If only she were here…

——

“I am one with the force,” you slowly breathe out of your nose, trying with everything within you to feel a spark of something, feel the presence of anyone. Ahsoka, your grandfather, Ben or your father. Just anyone so that you could feel less hopeless; “I am one with the force. I am—”

“Does that really work?”

When did the door open?

You sigh and open your eyes with a dread, instantly being welcomed by Poe Dameron, his figure in the small dark room upside down as you balanced on one hand. In attempts to try and feel your force ability. Disappointingly enough though, coming out empty, especially now with the annoying distraction and his...cute white and orange droid by his feet; “What?”

Poe cocks his head to side, shifting the helmet underneath his arm and placing the plate of food down on the metal desk, a cocky smirk on his lips. “Mediating? And all your Jedi whatever?”

You huff, “not anymore since you’re here. Annoying me.” You remark, making him scoff playfully and for the droid to chirp to defend his master. His little soft sounds not at all affecting you. After all, you were friends with artoo. That droid was worse—regardless having no other option, you swiftly flipped back to stand on your feet and hesitate to face him, sighing as you did.

“I brought you food,” Poe points to the tray displaying a healthy amount of vegetables, what looked to be steaming mashed potatoes and fruits—At Least the First Orders food option wasn’t as bad as them.

Your eyes drift to the food and you shake your head, “I’m not hungry.” You cross your arms over your chest and shoot him a pointed look, ignoring the way your stomach growled as the smell of the food hit your nose.

“The guards say you haven’t eaten.” He grumbles, reaching to grab the plate, “eat or you’ll starve.”

You shoot him a glare and stay grounded as he begins walking towards you, his steps heavy as they hit the metal ground while his face clearly came to view under the white dim lights on the ceiling, his gaze not really expressing a concern, but an annoyance to your defiance; “you told me to rot in my cell, I’m doing that.”

Poe sighs heavily, “it’s a figure of speech. I was angry that you lied to me. Don’t they have that where you’re from?”

“I’m from Yavin-4 so you tell me.” You quip. Standing straighter as he comes to a stop in front of you.

“Eat, y/n.”

You grab the tray from his hand and grab the bowl of mashed potatoes, a small smirk faintly showing on your lips as you cupped your hand around the bottom rim and lifted it off the tray to shove it in his face. “Why don’t you.”

Poe’s jaw clenched as he reacted quickly by wiping the food off his face, his dark eyes burning holes inside your head. His lips parted to most likely argue, or scream at you, but instead he clenched his jaw once more. Letting the tray drop to the ground with a loud clang, the food remaining spilling on the floor by your feet, and his gloved hand clenching into a fist at his side before he turned to leave the room (cell) in a huff. His droid following him with concern and a hurried pace. Again, being left all alone with nothing but your failed attempts to reconnect with the force.

Usually when there were those moments when you felt alone, you usually liked to very carefully grab the japor snippet that would hang around your neck on a metal chain, but when you lifted your hand this time to try and feel the soft wooden charm, you only touched soft skin. No reminder of your dad, just the feeling of true and pure loneliness—Maybe the better choice was not to take it off before you arrived here. At least then maybe there would be something to keep you company, or keep you from feeling less alone. But there was no room for maybe’s anymore….

With a shaky exhale you drop to the ground, your eyes watering for a moment before they caught sight of the food spilled on the ground; having nothing else to do and really just distracting yourself, picking it up and placing it back on the tray. Feeling only a small, tiny bit of an inkling of remorse for what you did to Poe—He may be rude and annoying but….he..he was trying something nice.

Eww that even hurt to think.

Catching you by surprise the door slid open, different more lighter footsteps following as they walked inside, informing you immediately that it wasn’t Poe who returned, and it wasn’t Rey. You discreetly peeked over your shoulder as the door slid closed, spotting a black uniform reflecting the gleam of white light, a recognizable stormtrooper helmet on its head and a new tray of food in its hands—“there's people that can do that, y’know.”

Ah, now you knew who it was. “Oh, look, Poe sent in his apologetic stormtrooper.” You turn back around and focus on cleaning up the food. “Go away.”

“Finn.” He corrects you. “It’s actually Finn.”

You scoff as you sit up, still letting your back face him. “Okay.”

“You haven’t ate.”

You roll your eyes and sigh. “You too, huh? You know I thought that whole reason of being a prisoner was to torture me. Not to treat me like a child.”

“You’re a guest.”

Finally you roll your head over your shoulder to make sure he saw your raised eyebrow and narrowed gaze. “Funny.” You spin around where you sat to face him with the same reaction. “Tell your master that I’m not hungry.”

Finn nods slowly and grabs a metal chair, twisting it around so he could take a seat. “I won’t leave until you will.”

“Then I guess you’re staying here all day.”

“I guess I will.” He quipped back, sounding exactly how Ben would. So paternal. It sucked; “tell you what, Nomad was going to do this later, but, I can take you to a better room if you eat.”

You scoff. “I’m not some pet or some child that you can bribe!”

Finn sighed, even if his face was covered it was audible that he sighed through his nose. “You’re snippy, you know that?” He paused and shrugged, “look I know you’re not a child or some pet, but I can’t promise you anything else, okay? Plus this room sucks, it’s dark and depressing, your new room will be bigger and have a window. Gives you room to walk and see the stars. But only if you at least have a couple bites of food.”

You huff and hesitate to stand up, biting the inside of your cheek and drifting your eyes to see the soft red lights that decorated the ground as you contemplated your answer. “You’re weird y’know? Different from the other stormtroopers.”

Finn shrugged, “I’ll take that as a complement.”

You meet the visor where his eyes are meant to be and groan softly. “Fine, I’ll eat.” You take the tray of food he offers and sit in another chair across from him, noticing as he crossed his arms over his chest in a cocky way.

“Wasn’t so hard, now was it?”

A scoff escapes your lips before a faint smile tugged at the corner of your lips as you answer him, “I guess not.” Finn shrugs and you simply roll your eyes as you finally take a bite of your food. “Happy?”

He quips, “very.”

——

“You’ve got a smile brighter than any of those stars.”

A smile slowly tugs at your lips at the faint memory sounding in your mind, whilst your eyes get lost on the view of the dark and cold vacuum of space in front of you, pretending that if you thought hard enough, you could see the memory play in the twinkling stars. It was the only form of distraction to keep you from really feeling what your mind, whole being wanted you to really feel.

“Any more compliments and she’ll turn out like you, Anakin.” Master Kenobi retorted, making your grandfather grin smugly.

“And that’s wrong? She is my only granddaughter after all. Maybe I want her to be just like me.”

You chuckle and keep listening to what Master Kenobi had to say in return. “Ahsoka and I enjoy her the way she is. Don’t corrupt her please.”

A knock sounds on the door, pulling you from your stupor and causing your smile to fall. Only watching from the reflection of the transipersteel that Nomad had opened the door, his figure stuck at the entrance of the door, the bright light of the halls growing his shadow on a ground that was a hundred times more smoother than the cold hard metal, grate of a floor that was in your cell before. This cell had a bed. A bigger bed than you’ve ever had in your life, with a bigger room that could probably fit the small boxes you would stay in at base a hundred times over. The sheets were a dark silk heaven...Like how you imagine a cloud to feel, and there was a huge bathroom that was a part of your “room” (cell), and a walk-in closet that was only half full with First Order clothes you would never actually wear, but it had them hanging from the racks. Overall your excitement was obvious and not expected. They had spoiled you to the max with this room. Even if it was locked from the outside; which actually brought you to the conclusion that there was some reason behind this relocation.

Beside just the fact that they were obligating you to stay here alive.

“Do you need something?”

The sound of his weight shifting to his other foot echoed throughout the room, the sound nor him actually pulling your full attention just yet.

“Do you want to get out of your room?”

You sigh and bite the inside of your cheek, “cell you mean.” You correct him.

Nomad sighs loudly, “do you?”

“Depends. Am I going home?”

“No.” He deadpans before letting silence engulf the whole room. The sound of his helmet clicking before it came off was the only noise that traveled around, the sound of his voice much softer now without his helmet following shortly after. “Rey is gone on some mission. I need someone to train with.”

You scoff and cross your arms over your chest, being quick with a retort. “Your girlfriend’s gone so now you’re bugging me?”

Poe chuckled and was heard fully entering the room, letting the door slide shut behind him. “Not my girlfriend. She wishes she was. Plus I think you're more her type.”

“That, or she’s simply not into you.” You quip with a smug grin.

“Possibly.” He agreed, his footsteps stopping a couple feet behind you; “do you want to leave or not? I promise I’ll go easy, wouldn’t want to harm the pretty princess, y’know.”

You roll your eyes. “Stop calling me that, I’m not a princess. Far from it.”

“Your father is basically Jedi royalty, just like your last name, basically makes you one.”

“Nah.” You smirk, “the only princess I know is my cousin Ben. So.” Prince basically, but same thing. You loved to tease him. Got him ticked and got you happy.

“Come on. You don’t want to be stuck in here all day. It gets depressing.” Poe adds, making you grow quiet and not really thinking much of your answer before you answered with another sigh.

“Fine.” You finally turn to face Poe, seeing the cuffs already in his grip.

He noticed your gaze on the object and shrugged. “Trust issues. They’ll be off when we get to the training room.” Having no other choice you extend your hands and let him slap the cuffs on your wrists, watching as he put his helmet back on. Why? No idea. It’s not like he had trouble breathing like Darth Vader had, nor was it intimidating as his. It looked like any other helmet the stormtroopers with the black suits had on. You would have asked, but you didn’t feel like giving him the satisfaction that something about him remotely caught your attention. Unless it was his scar. But that wasn’t something you had the need to comment on anymore. Just like you didn’t comment on the silence that surrounded you both as he walked you to the training room. Walking past stormtroopers with the black uniforms that differed those with the usual get up. Again you wanted to comment, but again you chose not to. Just letting the silence continue until you arrive at the room, the cuffs soon getting taken off once you both are secured inside the unsurprisingly huge area.

“Here,” he says breaking the silence, handing you a new set of hand wraps as he took off his helmet with his other hand, his eyes traveling from what he offered you and up to you. “I’m not going to bite. Take them. And don’t wrap them on too tight, or you’ll open your wound on your hand.”

He remembered about that? You hardly did

With some small hesitation you chose to take the hand wraps from him and only mouth a soft ‘thank you’ before you took off the ugly long sleeved shirt they had put on you before, being in only the tank top underneath, just like he now was. You tried to avert your eyes, really tried, but found yourself looking at him regardless as you began to wrap one hand, noticing that he wasn’t built like before when you first met him, when he would hang out with Ben and your brother. No, he was older now, his arms weren’t as skinny as before, they had a lot more...muscle to them and his chest was much more..how does someone describe it? Toned? Just like his...abdominal area. It was all just stamped through his tight tank….

Wait a minute...no. No—hastily before he noticed you staring, you tore your eyes away and focused on what you were doing—was it hot in here? Stars. Fucking...

“You done?”

You swallow thickly again and nod. “Yep.” Before he was able to comment on anything you jumped up, and met him on the mat, looking around for any usual weapons you were used to training with. “Do I get to use any of my lightsabers?”

Poe shakes his head whilst he gets into a fighting stance. “Not until you don’t want to kill me and you don’t want to leave anymore.”

“I’m a prisoner inside your capital ship, Dameron, of course I will fight to leave. All the time.”

“Then you don’t get your lightsabers. Simple.”

You huff and get into your own fighting stance, a mixture between use of form V and the form Ashoka taught you. Carefully eyeing every movement Poe began to make as he paced around you, waiting for you to attack, watching with his own eyes as you shifted your body to be prepared for any attacks. Smirking once he got impatient and attacked first, letting you to quickly dodge his swing and swiftly return to your stance, kicking his side before swinging your other leg and missing as he ducked.

You grinned and slightly jumped back to avoid his move, shrugging as you added something with heavy breaths. “No training stick or anything? Or are you too afraid I’ll beat you?”

Poe hesitated to answer. Giving right away his thoughts, which was a clear ‘yes’. He might’ve responded with a ‘no’ but you knew.

Poe tried to swing again but you quickly caught his fist and smirked, twisting his arm a bit before jumping slightly to lock his neck with your legs and flipping him over to crash onto the mat. His hand you had pinned to the ground while with his other hand he was quick to tap your leg to call it quits—you did so and loosened your grip, letting him slip out and carefully touch his offended area, while he also tried to breath in air, his eyes on you expressing a mixture of something you couldn’t define; “damn, princess, who the hell taught you to fight?”

You push yourself up to your feet and shrug, “I’ve had multiple teachers throughout the years.”

“Your ghost friends?”

Your head whips to where he is and you furrow your eyebrows in confusion and shock. “You remember?”

Poe stands up and keeps rubbing his neck, using the force to summon a water bottle to his hand. Shooting you a look that read ‘yeah? Obviously.’

“Well them and myself.” Your frown returns to your face at the thought, “I wanted to be stronger so when I fought...Nomad. I’d win. I had to grow.”

Poe’s eyes drop and gulps down his water, licking his lips before he adds his other comment. “Well you have grown into yourself.” He smirks and you scoff, unable to tune him out as he continues. “I just mean you—never mind.”

You don’t press on the matter and look away from him, a sharp pain shooting to your palm repeatedly, making you quietly hiss from the pain. You bring your hand up and see the blood soaking through the wraps. Shit. You clench your hand into a fist and just try to ignore it until you were taken back to your cell. But you should’ve known better. Even if this room was big, it appeared almost small with just Poe and you here. He noticed; “I told you not to wrap it too tight. See now you opened your wound again.”

You huff and ignore him, hearing from behind you as he walked up behind until he stood close, his hand forcefully pulling your injured one. Carefully unwrapping the wrap and turning it to see the mess. “I can stitch it up.”

“No.” You answer bluntly, trying to pull your hand away from his grasp, but coming out unsuccessful as he pulled it back to him.

“I’m doing it.”

“Then why’d you ask?”

Poe shrugs and pulls you to sit on a nearby bench, moving away to get what he needed, not taking long in his leave and sitting right back down beside you, taking your hand in his once more and completely removing the hand wrap. Very delicately, in a touch you barely felt cleaning your deep cut you yourself caused when..you stupidly but bravely caught his blade with your hand. It was a move your grandfather would’ve been proud of and Ben would’ve disapproved. Saying ‘it's too dangerous. You’ll get hurt.’ Even if he does the same move too. Whatever—you keep your eyes downcast and just listen to your breathing, soon hearing Poe’s because of how close he sat by you. Unable to keep your eyes away before they drifted to watch what he did, slowly looking up to see his eyebrows furrowed and his gaze narrowed on your wound. Why was he being so nice?

“Why are you being so nice?” You question out loud.

Poe hesitates and inhales quietly before exhaling deeply, only briefly letting his eyes meet your own before choosing to answer. “You want to get an infection on your hand?”

“No.”

“You’re my guest, I like to treat my guests nice.” He adds, his gaze focusing on the needle in his hand, ignoring your scoff.

“If I was your guest, I wouldn’t be in a cell.”

“You’re in a room.”

“It’s locked from the outside. Forbidding me from going out like a cell would. So it’s a cell.”

Poe stops and looks up at you, parting his lips to argue but choosing to let the silence once again blanket you both. It wasn’t an uncomfortable one, but it was one that soon made you feel the remorse from what you did a while ago; “I’m sorry,”

His breath catches in his throat. He tried to pretend it didn’t, but you caught it. “For throwing the food at you. You didn’t deserve that. You were trying to be nice. I’m sorry.” You pause and a faint smile appears, “only for that though. You deserved me punching you.”

A very faint smile tugs at the corner of his lips, a soft amused huff of air leaving his nose, his gaze meeting with yours for a second before you looked away. Your attention perked up once he mentioned something…“you know when we met for the first time and after you left with your dad and Jacen finally was able to distract Ben with something he told me and I quote, “you’re my friend and as your friend I want to say this. My sister is off limits. I see or hear you talking to her in any sort of suggestive, flirtatious way I’ll hurt you.”

You scoff and smile wider, “he was an ass. I’m sorry.”

Poe shook his head and chuckled. “I didn’t listen, don't worry.”

The smile you had soon faded at the memory of what happened rushed in. Of that night, of who had killed him. The anger returns in a burning fury, causing you to pull your hand away, not caring if he was almost done—He noticed the shift in your emotions, not only by the force, but by the way your eyes watered and your face scrunched up in anger. He wanted to add something, but you cut him off sharply. “Take me back to back to my cell, I’m tired of being here and of you.”

Poe simply nodded and summoned the cuffs to his hand to slap them back on your wrists, his eyes drifting back up to your face to see the tears you tried to hold in. Choosing that only a simple “fine” was enough. Not daring to talk the rest of the way back to the place he called your room. Releasing the cuffs once you were inside, choosing at the last moment, thinking that you wouldn’t notice (when in fact you did) to leave the door unlocked.

A mistake on his part and something you took as an advantage.

——

With very quiet and careful steps you snuck out of your room, looking from hall to hall to make sure the ghost was clear. Once it was you walked down the halls to try and get to the hangar Ben had parked his ship. Hoping that it was still there to make your great escape. Biting the inside of your cheek as a nervous tick. The deeper you walked down the ships halls the tighter you bit down.

Ignoring the pain in your heart to leave your own beautiful purple lightsaber, and the green lightsaber your dad gave to you behind. It hurt your soul, but if you tried to find them you’d be caught, so unfortunately it was something you had to leave, hoping that one day you’ll get them back. Really hoping.

Finally by the miracle of the maker through the wide transparisteel the ship you had come in came to view. A grin spreading whilst you rushed inside the hanger and inside the ship. Lucking out when there were no stormtroopers around, or inside the ship; not like you hoped there would be or you waited to see them as you rushed to the cockpit, letting the necklace you were truly and deeply missing get forgotten until you were out in the safety of hyperspace.

Feeling the cold buttons from the control underneath your hand as it traveled to try and turn it on, feeling a cold breeze of air as you went unaware of the person who had snuck on, his voice breaking the silence that had filled in the small space, the suddenness of his voice causing your shoulders to jump in surprise; “what are you doing?”

Slowly you looked over your shoulder to see Poe standing stiffly by the entrance. His jaw clenched and his glare burned into you as he repeated in a deeper, angrier voice, “What are you doing?”

A/N- the Ben part got long, sorry :/ also let me know me know if you actually want more from his p.o.v since the og group is going to reunite. And if you want to share ideas on what you want to see when they do, let me know :) and before you ask, yes, our beloved reader is friends with force ghosts ;)

Tagged- @thescarletknight2014 , @softly-sad , @golden-guide , @abysshaven , @a-dorky-book-keeper , @kit-jpg , @mybarnesmyhero

Permanent taglist- @ms-dont-care , @commondazy , @paintballkid711

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ohmytheon · 6 years

Text

The Wonderful World of Jealousy

summary: Bakugou doesn't need to deal with his feelings, certainly when it comes to Uraraka. He'll just ignore them until they fade away - that is, until, the worst asshole of them all figures out his issues and brings them up to the forefront. Is he really okay with losing his chance with her or does he want to try for something more?

notes: For Hanini on the @kacchako-server! Now I ship Monoma/Uraraka and I want to write more Monoma and it's all your fault. I hope you enjoy your gift! Also I wrote the summary while drinking so please forgive me.

Jealousy was an ugly feeling, one that had taken Bakugou an embarrassing amount of time to figure out. It was one of those feelings that he didn’t even realize he was suffering from until two days later when the realization would strike him like a flash of lightning and he’d struggle to keep from exploding something. He hated being jealous. It made feel so petty and frustrated, if only because there was literally nothing he could do to stop it. There was no sense in it and yet it was there, pulsing in the back of his mind like some sort of ticking time bomb.

He was working on being the very best. He was going to become number one. What the hell did he have to be jealous over?

It turned out, upon coming to UA, that there were quite a few things.

The first had been the sickening realization that he wasn’t the strongest student in his class. He’d never been around other kids with quirks as or even more powerful than his before. It had fueled him to push himself even more, striving for nothing but victory every time, but it had come at a cost that he’d not expected in making people think that he would do absolutely anything to be the best.

The second had been more subtle, one that had taken him weeks to realize. Bakugou would admit that while he’d had friends growing up, he’d never had close attachments. Now that he looked back on it, he wasn’t even sure if he could count them as friendships, not when he’d dropped them all the second that he’d started attending UA. What use had he had for them after that?

However, the kids in the hero course were different. Sure, it had taken him a while and a few hard-fought battles that other people might not have considered the things that made up friendships, but Bakugou would admit now that a few of the kids he’d derisively called Extras before were his friends. Being around others that could be considered near his equal made all the difference.

He found out the hard way that he was very possessive of them. They were his friends. He couldn’t figure out why Kirishima forming a close friendship with Deku outside of him or Mina sometimes sticking with the girls or even Kaminari hanging around that little grape shit pissed him off so much. At first, he’d thought it was just because it was Deku, but then he had started to notice it was about the others sometimes too. The fact was he didn’t like sharing, but had found himself in a group filled with the most social people in the universe. Go fucking figure.

The last one was the worst and the most aggravating. Bakugou loathed it. He did not like feeling jealous at all, but this one ate him up if only because there was possibly something he could do about it but wouldn’t. He couldn’t. He didn’t. It wasn’t that he was afraid to do something -- he wasn’t afraid of shit -- it was that he didn’t have the time. He was trying to become number one and he’d come to the conclusion over a year ago that he had a hard and difficult path ahead of him if he was going to beat Deku and Todoroki in order to do that.

He couldn’t afford any distractions and this jealousy right here? It was a fucking distraction that he neither wanted nor needed.

Despite his insistence that it leave him the fuck alone and let him be to work on his goals, Ochako Uraraka -- with her damn smile and laugh, those pink cheeks, her ability to flip anyone on their back, and quirk that could lift tons right over his head with the threat of dropping it -- continued to piss him off. Why wouldn’t she get out of his head?

Even worse, why wouldn’t other guys leave her alone? By the time he’d realized all those things about her and how they twisted his entire being into knots, others had as well. And that was what he hated the most. The fact that he wasn’t the only one that knew those things about her -- that felt those things towards her -- and there was jack shit that he could do about it. After all, it wasn’t her fault she was as bright as the fucking sun and a badass to boot. Of course other people would notice and of course they would act on it. They had the time; they had the leisure.

(They had the guts.)

Bakugou kept telling himself that one day he would get over it. One day he’d wake up, see her eating a terrible breakfast, and wouldn’t nearly be overwhelmed by the urge to take it from her and hand her his. One day his heart wouldn’t seize in his chest when she smiled or laughed at something he said. One day he wouldn’t give a shit when someone else made her do those same things.

Today was not that day.

They were in the middle of a joint combat simulation with Class 2-B. Finals were around the corner and everyone was doing their absolute best. Bakugou knew that he had a habit of getting into his own head when it came to tests like this, but for once, he had a moment to sit back and watch. He’d already had his turn and had come out on top, just as he’d expected. Now was the time to analyze the others and pick out any flaws or weaknesses that he could use against them should their finals call for them to go against each other. It could happen.

Except that it had been his weakness that had been spotted -- by that bastard Monoma of all people. It couldn’t have been worse unless Deku had figured it out. Maybe even then it wouldn’t have been as bad because Deku would have at least had the awful kindness to pretend like he didn’t know. Not Monoma though. Oh no, the moment he caught Bakugou fondly watching the screen with a grin on his face as Uraraka tore through some Class B nerd, it was game over.

“Uraraka is pretty incredible, isn’t she?” Monoma asked out of the blue.

Bakugou was so caught up in the fight that it didn’t register at first who was talking to him. “What?” When he turned his head and saw Monoma’s shit-eating grin, he scowled furiously. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

Monoma pointed to the screen. “Uraraka. I don’t pay attention much to you Class A fools” -- which was absurd since he was practically obsessed with them -- “but she stands out. She’s very powerful and she’s cute.” Bakugou gawked at him, his brain so torn between wanting to throttle him and ignore him that he couldn’t do either of those things. “Do you know if she’s single?”

“Why the fuck would you want to know that?” Bakugou demanded. Surely this bastard was so up his own ass that he couldn’t even see anyone but himself.

“Oh, I was just thinking that I might ask her out on a date,” Monoma answered, like that was reasonable.

Bakugou snorted and turned back to the screen. “As if she’d go for someone like you.”

Monoma’s grin somehow broadened, turning almost demented. “You think she prefers someone like you ?”

His question hit Bakugou in the gut like a sucker punch from Deku and he choked on his tongue as he whipped his head back around to glare at him in incredulity. It was the wrong move. He couldn’t have been more obvious had he tried and his only hope was to play it off as pure fury. Then again, if he blew up, his extreme reaction and denial would only be even more damning. He couldn’t say shit.

It fucking sucked since Monoma knew all of that too and he dug in deep. “What’s this? Does the great ‘I am going to be number one’ Bakugou have a crush on the zero gravity girl?” He put one hand on his hip and then pointed to someone in the crowd. Bakugou didn’t have to look to know who he was pointing to though. The name was already pinging like a warning signal in his head. “Isn’t she best friends with Midoriya? They look awfully cozy.” Bakugou clenched his hands into fists, willing them not to explode, but that was all he could do. Monoma wasn’t threatened in the slightest as he waved a dismissive hand. “I’d do something soon if I were you. She might not be on the market for much longer.”

Before Bakugou could even think of something to shoot back at him that didn’t involve exploding him out of the building, Monoma walked away, cackling as he did so. A few people sent Bakugou some curious looks, including Deku and Kirishima, both of whom he ignored. Monoma got a few looks as well, but things like that never seemed to phase him in the slightest and they were all used to his weird behavior. Meanwhile, Bakugou was burning with rage and he knew -- he just fucking knew -- that things weren’t over.

I might ask her out on a date.

Nothing had even happened yet and Bakugou could feel jealousy sucking away at his fucking soul. Why did this have to happen to him? He wanted to ask her out on a date, not Monoma, who sure as hell didn’t have genuine feelings for her. Not that he did, but still, fuck. This was such shit hole that he’d dug and he couldn’t figure out a way out of it that didn’t involve imploding himself.

A week passed in which Bakugou put his entire focus on school and not on Uraraka at all. He wouldn’t have said that he ignored or avoided her, but barring class, if she walked into the same room as him, he either walked out or pretended like she didn’t exist. He had done it very well for half of his first year, even with her catching his eye at their first Sports Festival. So many things had happened to distract him then. He could do it now. He could ignore her like he’d ignored everyone. Eventually, whatever this shit feeling was, it would go away.

There were two issues with that strategy.

The first issue was Uraraka. She could appear seemingly out of thin air, as if waiting to pounce on him and pull him into one of her friendly conversations. He’d fallen victim to that trap far too many times. It was like she had some sort of second quirk -- as if he was caught in her gravitational pull. She was so bright and bubbly, along with intense and powerful. How could he resist that? Well, he tried, but instead he came off as even ruder than normal. Most of the time, it didn’t deter or phase her in the slightest.

Then there was that one time he’d said something so pointlessly mean that she’d slapped his chest and sent him flying into a tree. She’d left him desperately hanging onto a branch for fifteen minutes until he’d apologized and then returned his gravity to him so quickly that he’d fallen to the ground. She couldn’t have known how much he’d regretted acting that way and he had taken extra effort to avoid her since then, more so out of shame and humiliation than anything else.

The second issue was one that he couldn’t avoid: himself.

Bakugou could ignore anyone in the world except for himself. His mind rarely ever gave him peace and quiet. It bounced around, almost always loud, either focused like white hot lightning or scattered like debris after one of his massive explosions. The theme was constant -- his goals -- but there was so much that pertained to that theme and it kept getting added to each day. At one point, he had only ever considered becoming number one all on his own. Other people didn’t matter. What did it mattered who was with him when there was only room for one person on that pedestal and it was him?

Things were so different now. He had actual friends, mentors that he could trust, peers to push him, and even a better relationship with his family. It wasn’t perfect and things were still rocky with all the people in his life, but he’d learned that being at the top didn’t mean being alone. He didn’t always like that. Being alone was so much easier. There wasn’t nearly as much to juggle. There were times when he didn’t understand the point of it all. Then he would watch people like Deku, who thrived even more with the people in his life in a way that Bakugou hadn’t understood for the longest time, or Todoroki, who had perhaps been worse off than him but made even stronger the more he accepted that change.

It pissed him off, knowing this and knowing that it was for the better, because he didn’t want it and yet he did. And sometimes that want clashed with everything else in his mind.

Like the way Uraraka twisted him all up inside. How was that good for him or his goals? It was a distraction.

One that, despite his attempts at ignoring, Monoma capitalized on now that he had a line on Bakugou’s problem. The fact that it worked was even more maddening. Bakugou now knew that Monoma was the worst person to have figured this out. Sure, maybe he didn’t know the full extent -- and how could that bastard when he barely knew himself? -- but he knew just enough for it to be problematic.

Because if there was one thing Monoma knew best, it was how to exploit others to give himself an opportunity. That was basically his whole fucking quirk and he was smart to use it. Even smarter, he knew that Bakugou really couldn’t do shit to him without exposing himself.

Everything started going downhill at the end of the week when lunchtime came around. Like usual, Bakugou went to the mess hall with Kirishima and the others. They all split up while they got what they wanted to eat. He was slow, still sore from a hard morning workout, and scanned the large room for the table one of his friends had chosen when his eyes landed on something else entirely. His stomach twisted so uncomfortably that he no longer felt hungry and he had to actively keep his hands from smoking as he tightly gripped his tray.

Standing in what felt like the middle of the room, like a light was beamed on them and they were all he could see, were Uraraka and Monoma. As much of a little shit as he could be, Bakugou knew that Monoma could be, ugh, charming if he wanted to be. He was smart. And in a purely analytical point of view that Bakugou also hated, he could admit that the shit stain could be considered attractive in that stupid conventional way. He didn’t like it and he didn’t agree with it, but he’d be stupid to think that some girls and guys didn’t think so.

What the two of them were talking about, Bakugou hadn’t a clue since he was too far away to hear and had no intentions of getting any closer, but it didn’t matter. Uraraka was actually smiling. It wasn’t a forced smile as he’d hoped. He knew what those looked like, even though she was pretty good at hiding it from others. Monoma wore a calm look on his face and then smiled in return as he said something that made her laugh. He’d made her laugh and it wasn’t fake either.

Thankfully, Deku called to her from their table and Uraraka bid Monoma goodbye. He took her hand to say one more thing to him, which had her blushing, and then let go so she could walk away, looking quite content as she did so.

And then Monoma turned, caught eyes with Bakugou, and fucking winked.

Bakugou almost screamed.

“Bro, are you alright?”

“I’m fucking fine!” Bakugou snapped, knowing damn well that Kirishima could tell that he wasn’t.

This was so stupid. He hated every second of this. His stomach was in knots; his heart was lodged into his throat; his whole body felt hot enough to burn up; and his mind was a jumbled mess. He just wanted this to end. Was that too much to ask for? How could a little shit like Monoma get him so worked up? It wasn’t fair.

Kirishima sighed. “Whatever you say, but if you need to talk…”

Bakugou rounded on him. “Does it look like I need to talk about my fucking feelings?”

“Kind of,” Kirishima replied without any fear. “But I know you won’t, so let’s go find the others and eat. Maybe you’re just hangry for all I know, cranky pants.”

Eating did not help, not when he was no longer hungry. Bakugou spent the majority of lunch shoving his food around the tray and picking at bites. He didn’t even talk much, choosing to stay silent as he stewed over what Monoma could’ve possibly said to make her smile and laugh like that. He’d even taken her hand in his and made her blush. Was he that charming? Did Uraraka think he was? What would she do if he tried to do those things? Ugh, probably float him to the ceiling again since he’d been an ass to her yesterday.

If the others noticed his moodier and more reserved nature at lunch, they didn’t say anything, probably because of a look that Kirishima gave them. It was a good thing too. He was not in the mood for Ashido’s interrogation. She could pinpoint a crush a mile away like it was a sport. Not that he had a crush on Uraraka, but if she caught on to even a mere hint of one, she’d create a crush out of thin air. She loved the romance and drama of that shit and it would probably make her month if she thought that he had one, especially on one of her close girl friends.

No, no, he didn’t need any of his friends in his shit, not when it wasn’t important. Having Monoma in it was bad enough. His friends would blow it out of proportion and make his life even more miserable.

Two days later, Bakugou dragged himself into the common area of their dorms, exhausted from a sparring session with Kirishima, who looked equally tired. They’d ran themselves more ragged than usual in Bakugou’s attempt to expel all the extra energy that this rage and jealousy had been giving him. It had worked. By the time they had decided to call it quits and go back to the dorms, all he could think about was his bed. Luckily, Kirishima hadn’t complained about going harder than usual. He took everything in stride and considered it a win that he had not given up so easily.

Of course, something had to leap out and force his mind on another track that wasn't sleeping.

“Did I see you talking with Monoma earlier?” came Ashido’s voice from the couches.

“Oh, yeah, he wanted to compare notes on the joint combat battles we’ve been doing,” came Uraraka’s response.

Her voice was like some sort of static shock that short-circuited his brain, causing him to halt and zone in on where she, Ashido, and Asui were sitting. Was that how Kaminari felt whenever he overdid his quirk and fried his brain? One second, all Bakugou could think about was how much he wanted to sleep and now here he was doing his best not to look like he was listening in on a conversation that had absolutely nothing to do with him.

“You coming?” Kirishima asked.

“Do I have to walk you to your dorm?” Bakugou demanded, annoyed at being interrupted. What were they saying now? The jerk had talked over Ashido’s reply.

Kirishima blew a raspberry. “After that sparring session, you might have to carry me.”

“I’m gonna get a drink before I go to bed,” Bakugou told him. “I don’t want to wake up with a headache because I didn’t hydrate enough like an idiot.”

“Whatever,” Kirishima huffed in exhaustion before wandering towards the elevator.

It was a good idea to drink some more water. He’d run out before their session ended and had continued to sweat up a storm even without using his quirk. After getting a glass of water, he rested against the corner, but kept the group of girls in the corner of his eyes. No, this wasn’t weird at all. It would just be a waste of time to take this glass to his room when he’d have to bring it back.

“And you said he was really nice?” Asui asked, sounding skeptical. “Not weird?”

Uraraka did that giggle-snort she sometimes did when she thought something was amusing in a dry way. “Well, I guess him being nice is kind of weird, right?”

“Super weird!” Ashido agreed. “He’s only nice to anyone in our class when he’s, you know, being mean.”

“Yeah, I don’t know what was up with him,” Uraraka said as she sunk back and pulled her legs up onto the couch. Bakugou couldn’t see her face from where she was sitting, but he could imagine her chewing her lip as she thought about something bothering her. “He, um, said that he couldn’t wait to see me in class tomorrow? That I was ‘very impressive’ or whatever.”

Ashido gasped. “Oh my god, do you think-?” She leaned forward and Bakugou did not need to see her to know that she was grinning like an idiot. “Do you think he has a crush on you?”

“Wh-what?” Uraraka’s voice was so high-pitch that he was surprised she hadn’t activated her quirk on herself and floated to the ceiling. She laughed, the sound so awkward that it would have fooled no one in the slightest. “That’s crazy talk. Monoma hates everyone in our class.”

Asui nodded. “He has had it out for us since day one.”

“Maybe it’s part of some secret plan,” Ashido continued in a tone that was far too serious for whatever dumb idea she had concocted. “He’s trying to infiltrate us and take us down from the inside by dating Uraraka!”

Uraraka scoffed. “That’s silly.”

Not to mention convoluted. Except… Bakugou gripped the glass tightly. Monoma was just doing this to get into his head. He was sure of it. That prick had never shown this much interest in Uraraka before until that day a little over a week ago. This marked the third time that Monoma had interacted with her though in less than a few days, although this last one had been when Bakugou wasn’t there to witness. That wink in the cafeteria told him that this had to do with him though. He was trying to take Bakugou down.

And fuck if it wasn’t messing with his head.

“He’s gonna ask her out,” Ashido decided, sitting upright and folding her arms. “I just know it.”

“He is not!” Uraraka protested.

Ashido was not swayed. “I mean, who wouldn’t want to ask you out after you basically turned Shishida into a baseball and knocked him out of the arena with a streetlight?”

Fuck, Bakugou had wanted to ask her out after witnessing that display of strength. The second she’d managed to cancel out Shishida’s gravity and wield that streetlamp like a baseball bat, a stray thought of, That’s the girl for me , had popped into his head. He’d been left doing mental cartwheels to explain it away even though no one else had heard him think it. When she’d come back to an excited hug from Deku and a high-five from Kirishima, all Bakugou could do was stick to himself and wish that he could sweep her in his arms. Which pissed him off. He didn’t want that. He didn’t want to want that.

“It’s Monoma though,” Uraraka pointed out.

“He might be the worst,” Ashido replied sagely, “but he’s kind of hot.”

Bakugou felt winded by a stab of betrayal. How could Ashido say something like that? She could be stupid, but that was just plain idiotic! One of his friends couldn’t possibly think that. Saying something like that to Uraraka too? As if she needed that thought in her head. Was Ashido trying to push her to Monoma? What kind of friend did that? The guy was an egomaniac.

Oh, right.

Bakugou must have slammed his glass in the dishwasher too loud because he heard Uraraka ask, “Oh, Bakugou, how long have you been standing there?” Long enough, too long. He ignored her, as he’d been doing for a few days, and pretended as if he hadn’t heard her as he stormed out of the room. He was going to pass out and forget that he’d heard any of that conversation.

Things came to a head all of three days later on one of their days off. In each of those days before, Bakugou had witnessed two more excruciating interactions between Uraraka and Monoma, one during their joint class and the other in the gym. Since when did Monoma work out? She could literally crush him with her thighs. Bakugou had spent the next ten minutes trying to scrub that thought out of his brain. Why had he thought of that? The last place he wanted Monoma to be was…

Fuck. He had to think of something else.

The third time he came across them had to be purely by accident. Not even Monoma could have staged this, seeing as how Bakugou had changed his mind last minute about visiting his parents. While most of his classmates were either off-campus or doing homework in the dorms, he had decided to go for a jog. It was close to dusk, his favorite time to go for light runs. He didn’t go super hard all the time. However, on his way to the track, he spotted Uraraka walking out of the library building while Monoma held the door open for her.

Bakugou’s blood boiled and he froze on the spot. Again, he couldn’t hear what was being said from where he was, but he saw the gesture that Monoma made, offering to carry her books for her. She laughed a little and shook her head, opening her arms so that the books could float in the air. Over the past year, she’d worked on negating only a part of an object’s gravity. She was getting better about it every day, even able to use it on herself sometimes so that she could do these super cool jumps. It made his stomach flip, seeing her doing something silly like that with Monoma, and he dug his nails into his palms so hard that he nearly drew blood.

Before either one of them could see him, Bakugou ducked behind a tree and stayed there as they walked past him. This time, he couldn’t help but feel like a creep, but if he moved, they would see him. Monoma would not be able to resist acting like a bastard and Bakugou honestly didn’t know if he would be able to resist punching him in his smug face. It wasn’t because he was jealous. Well, okay, it was a little, but it wasn’t all that.

It just… It really fucking pissed him off that Monoma would use Uraraka to get under his skin.

(Unless he wasn’t using her. Unless it was all real. Bakugou didn’t know what was worse.)

“I actually really like it when we get to work with Class B,” Uraraka was saying as she poked the books gently ahead of her while she walked like a game. “We’ve all grown so much since our first year, but I’m around the others’ quirks so much. It’s nice to see something different.”

“You are quite different,” Monoma said, walking next to her with his hands in his pockets and a small knowing smile on his face.

He had known exactly how Uraraka would respond, blushing and clearing her throat before she continued, “Plus, it gives us a chance to work together instead of competing! Ah, well, I guess we’re still competing, but it helps us build each other up. I like that. We should work together more often.”

“I’ll admit to my reservations about Class A,” Monoma said.

“Reservations?” Uraraka snorted. “They’re a little more than that, I’d say.”

Monoma gave her a sheepish look. “You caught me.” He took one of his hands out of his pockets. “May I?”

She gave him a hesitant look, but then slowly nodded. The moment he touched her arm, Bakugou’s heart dropped into the pit of his stomach. His hand lingered longer than necessary, but then he pulled it away from her and touched his satchel. Uraraka was locked on it, an openly curious expression on her face. She took Monoma copying her quirk a lot better than him. He still burned with anger whenever he thought about how he’d taken a blast to the face by his own quirk that first time the two of them had clashed.

“I easily get jealous, a trait that I’m not particularly proud of,” Monoma said, sounding...genuine. Was he being honest? Was he being open? Bakugou tried not to gawk. There was no way this was happening. If there was one thing that Monoma was not, it was fucking genuine. That was...something that Bakugou wanted to do but couldn’t. If he could be more open with Uraraka, he wouldn’t be in this shit position hiding behind a tree. Seriously, what was wrong with him?

“You? Jealous? No way.” Uraraka was actually teasing him. No, this didn’t feel like getting stabbed at all. Monoma went to press a hand against his chest in mock-offense when Uraraka grabbed his wrist to stop him. “You’ll float yourself and get sick.”

Monoma pulled his hand away and she let go of him. “Nice save.” Bakugou felt a little put out. It would’ve made him feel a shit ton better had he done that. “I think it comes from my quirk though. For the longest time, I hated it.” That was surprising. It didn’t sound true and yet, besides him being a bastard, he didn’t know Monoma well. He didn’t know anyone in Class B well enough to say much about them besides that they weren’t worth his time with Ibara and Shishida being the exceptions. “I have to copy someone else’s quirk to have any power. I wanted a quirk that was entirely my own. I wanted the power to be mine alone instead of borrowing someone else’s.”

“I...never thought of your quirk that way,” Uraraka admitted.

“Most don’t consider other people’s quirks,” Monoma explained, “but I have to know everyone’s and I have a very limited amount of time to figure out how they work.” He pulled his other hand out of his pocket and pressed the pads of his fingers together. “Release.” The satchel dropped and he slung it back over his shoulder. Uraraka looked surprised, her eyebrows raised. Bakugou felt strangely embarrassed. Monoma had probably understood Uraraka’s quirk before even he had back in their first year and Bakugou had been the one to fight her. “I watch for people’s quirks so much though that I tend to forget the person behind it. To be honest, they usually don’t catch my eye. The quirk is far more interesting and of use to me.”

“Ah, there’s the Monoma I know.”

Bakugou would’ve felt relief had he not seen the way Monoma gazed down at her now. He grit his teeth and clenched his fists at his side, just waiting for that moment, when the other boy said, “Someone has caught attention though and I’d like to remedy that.”

He couldn’t do it -- he couldn’t stand there any longer -- and so he booked it for the track. The two of them were far enough where they wouldn’t hear him and they had their backs to him at this point. He didn’t dare look back just in case one of them turned around. That whole conversation hadn’t been at Bakugou’s expense at all -- unless Monoma was playing some sort of long game, which was possible too. After all, he couldn’t just ask Uraraka out without any precedent or building up to it. He had to make it believable. It seemed like so much work to just make him squirm though.

Was he so egotistical that this whole thing had to be about him? Maybe, just maybe, it really was about Uraraka. She was pretty incredible. Was he pissed that Monoma was using Uraraka to get at him or was he pissed that Monoma had the gall (the guts, the time, the willingness) to ask her out?

He didn’t know. He didn’t fucking know. All he knew was that he didn’t want Uraraka to get hurt over some stupid, petty fight that he wanted nothing to do with.

The next day, Bakugou set out on a mission. He left the dorms before anyone else, heading towards the cafeteria for breakfast, where he waited outside. Making sure to look busy reading so that no one would bother him in case one of his friends came by and got nosy, he kept his eyes peeled for a certain someone. About twenty minutes into waiting, he spotted his target. After snapping his book shut and jamming it into his backpack, he stormed through the crowd like a guided missile.

Before anyone could say or do anything, Bakugou barreled his way through the small group of Class B kids and snatched Monoma by the front of his shirt. “We need to talk,” he growled as he continued to push through the crowd, taking the other boy with him.

Kendo spun on her feet, activating her quirk and enlarging her hand to snatch Bakugou and stop him. “Monoma-”

But Monoma held up both of his hands, taking care not to touch him and not looking afraid in the slightest. In fact, he looked like he’d been expecting this. “Go on without me. I’ll meet you in a few minutes.”

“Are you sure?” Tetsutetsu asked, clenching his fists in a way that suggested he was ready to fight Bakugou right outside of the mess hall. Oh, so the bastard had friends ready to defend him at a moment’s notice. How nice.

“He said he just wanted to talk,” Monoma insisted calmly, but then he smiled in a way that made Bakugou want to growl all over again. “Let this Class A extra get something off his chest.”

Despite looking more than hesitant, Kendo, Tetsutetsu, and the others walked into the mess hall without him. Monoma arched an eyebrow at him and Bakugou let go of him. As if on cue, he turned and walked to a more private area of the hall. Yeah, he’d definitely been expecting this, which irritated the hell out of Bakugou. He didn’t like the idea that he was predictable.

As Monoma fixed the front of his shirt and collar of his jacket, he asked, “Any particular reason you felt the urge to assault me before breakfast or has terrorizing Class A proved too boorish?”

Bakugou scowled. “You know damn well why I’m here.”

“Haven’t the foggiest,” Monoma replied as he adjusted his tie. Despite his overly innocent tone, the smug, knowing expression on his face suggested otherwise. Gods, he had a face that just screamed punch me. He wasn’t going to admit to anything until Bakugou copped to it first. Monoma wasn’t the most stubborn person on the planet, but he was willing to go to extremes to be above someone and indeed he had the upper hand here.

That pressure, along with the image of Uraraka’s blushing and smiling face, was too much to take. “Uraraka.”

“What about her?”

“Leave her alone,” Bakugou snarled.

Monoma’s eyes glittered dangerously. “I wasn’t aware that you had a claim over her. She’s not your property.” Of course she wasn’t. He’d never presume to think such a thing. He never had, even with all of those stupid, complex emotions towards her swirling in his mind for months. It wasn’t her fault that he couldn’t get rid of them. She didn’t owe him shit for how he felt. “I can talk with her if I like. Just because you won’t act on your crush--”

“I don’t have a crush on her!” Bakugou snapped.

“--doesn’t mean that she’s off limits until you gather the courage to do so,” Monoma continued effortlessly. He wagged a finger and tsked, as if scolding a child. “She told me what awful thing you said to her the other day. It’s almost like you want her to hate you.”

It would have been so much easier if she had, but no, that was the last thing that he wanted. He could admit that now, as much as it embarrassed him. The fact that she had told Monoma about that made him flush with even more humiliation. How far had he fallen?

Yelling and sniping at Monoma weren’t getting him anywhere. He had to take a different approach, one that the other boy wouldn’t expect from him. Fuck, he had to be reasonable, but still intimidating. He had to… Gods, was he really going to have to go to the level that Monoma wanted him to go? Somehow, some way, he’d get back at him later for this shit.

Swallowing his pride, Bakugou folded his arms across his chest. “You’re only talking to her to get under my skin. I know you’re used to using underhanded tricks like the worm that you are, but if you’re gonna fuck with me, then don’t involve her. I get it -- you don’t like me and I sure as hell don’t like you -- but involving her is petty as fuck.”

“Caring about the collateral damage, are we?” Monoma asked.

“She’s not--” Bakugou clamped his mouth shut. Monoma was trying to drag him further into this and he was leaping headfirst into the trap. “Listen here, fuck face, if you hurt her feelings just to piss me off, you are not going to like the results.”

Monoma actually had the audacity to laugh, a little maniacally as usual. “You think this is just some sort of game that revolves around you?” He began to walk away, done with the conversation, but then paused to look back. “Did you ever stop to consider that it has nothing to do with you at all? Uraraka stood out enough for you, the most arrogant person in U.A. to notice. Maybe you aren’t the only one.”

“You saying that you actually like her?” Bakugou demanded in a bark, his heart beginning to give the first signs of him having a heart attack. He’d always known that other guys would like her -- how could they not? -- but barring the idea that Deku was a rival for him, he’d never really been forced to face it up front. She wasn’t some sort of prize to win -- she was so much more than that -- but the idea that he had competition that not only would make a move but had done so before him was not pleasant.

“Maybe it did start out as a way to make you squirm -- and it’s been great, believe me,” Monoma told him, a savage grin on his face, “but things do change. Uraraka sure is full of surprises, isn’t she?”

Bakugou felt as if the entire world stopped on its axis as he watched Monoma laugh again and walk away. He couldn’t move, couldn’t school his face into an expression that wasn’t a stupid mixture of shock and fury, couldn’t get his brain to work as it screamed at him to do something. All he could think to do was hurt Monoma and he couldn’t do that. Not only had he been called out entirely, but the stupid shit was right. As much as it pained and pissed him off to admit it, Monoma wasn’t wrong at all.

This whole mess was his fault. He’d ignored how he felt for so long -- he’d kept telling himself that Uraraka wasn’t important and was just a distraction to what he wanted -- that there was a possibility that he’d lost his chance. He had spent so long pretending like it didn’t exist that he’d missed the knife being dug in between in ribs. Had Monoma been the one to twist it or had it been himself? Bakugou couldn’t tell. All he knew was that he couldn’t take this feeling anymore. She wasn’t the distraction; the jealousy was. Once again, he’d been his own enemy and Monoma had used that to his advantage.

Whatever the case, he had to figure this shit out before it was too late.

For the rest of the day, Bakugou worked on just calming down. He knew that his friends were suspicious about his behavior, but thankfully none of them said anything. He had to prep himself though. He couldn’t fly off the handle; he couldn’t act like a total ass; he couldn’t make a wrong move. The issues were that he felt like he could explode at any minute; he was most definitely an ass; and he didn’t know what the right move was. The last time he and Uraraka had spoken had been on decent but lukewarm terms at best since it had been during class. For all he knew, she wanted nothing to do with him.

Besides, he’d realized after talking with Monoma that what he wanted didn’t matter much. In the end, all that truly mattered was what Uraraka wanted. It didn’t matter if he liked her. It didn’t matter if he was filled with so much jealousy that he felt sick with it. If she didn’t like him, that was that. With the way he’d been acting, he wouldn’t be surprised if she only felt uncomfortable around him if he acted on how he felt or was honest with her.

The idea that he could be rejected seriously hadn’t occurred to him, if only because he’d kept telling himself that none of it mattered. Like some arrogant bastard, he had thought that only he was holding himself back. Now that another insecurity had been added into the mix, it made things all the worse.

By the time dinner rolled around, Kirishima couldn’t hold his curiosity in any longer, hunching over the table to block everyone else out of their conversation. “Okay, seriously, what gives, Bakugou? You’ve been acting weird all day, maybe even all week.”

“I’m fine,” Bakugou replied sharply, but without any actual heat. His gaze wasn’t on Kirishima, but had locked in on Uraraka when she slunk into the common area. She’d just come back from the gym with Deku and Todoroki, all sweaty, pink-faced, and exhausted. She looked great.

Kirishima sat back and shook his head. “That was scary. You’re way too calm.”

“I can be calm,” Bakugou snapped, tearing his eyes away from Uraraka briefly to glare at Kirishima before moving his gaze back over.

“That’s more like it.” Kirishima followed his gaze and sighed. “Just go talk to her.” Bakugou grit his teeth and returned to digging into his dinner with the sort of viciousness meant for wolves while they tore into a deer. He wasn’t going to respond to that. “The only one who doesn’t seem to know how you feel is her.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Bakugou demanded.

“I mean,” Kirishima continued, absolutely unafraid by the heat in Bakugou’s red eyes, “if it wasn’t obvious before by the way you freaking light up when she does something badass, you nearly having a nuclear meltdown whenever Monoma gets anywhere near her made it impossible to miss.”

Bakugou’s face flushed. Okay, so he’d known that his ability to put a cap on his jealousy had started to deteriorate, but he hadn’t realized it had been that bad even before. Had other people seen it and figured it out before Monoma and just not said anything to him? Why? Because they wanted him to come to this conclusion on his own or because they didn’t want to piss him off? Maybe they’d actually decided to give him some privacy and time. No, that was ridiculous. If either Kaminari or Ashido had known, they would’ve badgered him relentlessly.

Unless Kirishima, despite usually nosing his way into Bakugou’s business, had acted as a stop gate this time. After all, he and Ashido were close friends with Uraraka too. Did they know something that he didn’t?

“This is fucking stupid,” Bakugou grumbled. “I don’t have time for this.”

“You’re right,” Kirishima replied, pointing a chopstick at him. “You’re wasting all your time on this jealousy crap when you could be doing something about it.” When Bakugou frowned, he shrugged his shoulders and shoveled some more food into his mouth. Did he have to eat so fast? It wasn’t like he was a kid anymore. He swallowed and huffed. “She doesn’t like Monoma in that way if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I’m not,” Bakugou said flatly. (He was.)

“But you keep waiting around like a stick in the mud and she will find someone more worth her time or she might even grow to like Monoma,” Kirishima told him emphatically. “Because she’s awesome. You know it. I know it. Others will too. And you’re going to be left in the dust because you’re either too scared, too stupid, or too arrogant.”

Bakugou snorted. “Have you met me?”

Kirishima dared to crack a grin. “You’re right. Arrogant isn’t a strong enough word.”

“You’re shit at giving pep talks,” Bakugou said as he pushed aside his empty bowl. “You know that, right?”

“Well, it was either me or Mina,” Kirishima told him. “I think she already had a list of first date ideas planned that she was going to sell you on.” On second thought, yeah, he was great at giving pep talks. If it had been Ashido in his place, Bakugou would’ve likely blown a gasket. She was way more aggressive in her approach. “Now go on: be brave and get the fuck over yourself. You’re a huge pain in the ass when you’re jealous.”

Rolling his eyes, Bakugou grabbed his empty bowl and glass and took it into the kitchen to wash them. As if by some design of fate, Uraraka walked in as well. Tired as she was, her face wasn’t as flushed anymore. She brushed past him, mumbling an apology, and started to root through the cabinets, probably for something sweet to snack on. She’d never get over that sweet tooth.

“Top shelf on the left,” Bakugou told her. “Kaminari hides his candy there.”

Uraraka turned around to stare at him and then smiled. “Thanks!”

Using her quirk on herself, she floated to reach the space that he’d seen Kaminari kneel on the counter to reach. Upon finding his stash, she pushed down on the ceiling to get closer to the floor and then released her quirk. She took a piece of candy and popped it into her mouth, looking quite content with herself. After a moment’s hesitation, she held the bag out to him and, despite the fact that it wasn’t his favorite, he took a piece as well.

“Ugh, this was just what I needed,” Uraraka moaned.

Bakugou did not let that get to him, but he still rolled his shoulders. “A reward for going to the gym?”

“Exactly!” Uraraka exclaimed, pointing the bag of candy at him. “It’s a little trick. I can only get some candy if I meet my goal. Besides, we all deserve a little reward here and there.”

“You’re really pushing yourself hard, huh?”

“Well I’ve got to if I’m going to keep up with everyone else,” Uraraka said very seriously around a mouthful of candy. “I was so caught up in my first year how amazing people like you, Deku, and Todoroki were and how I should be more like you all that I wasn’t focused on myself.”

Bakugou sneered, but there wasn’t any rage behind it and she could tell. “Those nerds wish they were as amazing as me.” She laughed at that, though not mockingly or at him. Had it been anyone else responding like that, he might have bristled, but with her, it just made him feel good. She genuinely thought he was awesome. Granted, so did Deku, but he wasn’t going to get into that mess.

This was what he liked, these little conversations that the two of them slipped into without thinking. It was easy to talk to her. It was easy to talk with Kirishima too, but it felt different with her, somehow lighter. She could sass him just as much as his friends, but unlike with them, he felt this all-consuming urge to impress her, which tripped him up half the time and made him say something stupid.

“Listen, Uraraka, about the other day…”

“You were really mean,” Uraraka cut in, not leaving any room for his usual defensive bullshit.

“Yeah, I was.”

Uraraka frowned, pleased with his honesty but upset that it had happened in the first place. Bakugou wasn’t all that good at apologizing. In fact, it could probably be considered one of his weakest skills. As intelligent as he was, words failed him in those moments and the idea of lowering himself to that level grated on his nerves and made him uncomfortable. Bringing it up though was a step in the right direction.

“I’m used to you being an ass -- wouldn’t really be you if you weren’t -- but you’re normally not…” She glanced down at the candy. “You don’t go out of your way to hurt people’s feelings.”

“Yeah, I was acting out because…” Bakugou’s fingers twitched his sides. He didn’t want to talk about this. He could just apologize and move on. He’d get over this. Eventually, it had to fade away and he would look back on this moment years later and laugh about it. He didn’t need anyone else. He just… He just needed…

Are you really that weak that you’re going to let Monoma be braver than you?

“I was jealous,” Bakugou blurted.

Uraraka raised her eyebrows, clearly taken aback, and nearly dropped the bag of candy. “Jealous? Why? Of who?”

Bakugou growled irritably and held a hand over his eyes. Now that he was standing here talking with her about this, it sounded stupid. How much of an idiot could he be? “Monoma.” As soon as the word left his mouth, Uraraka burst out into laughter and had to put a hand over her mouth to muffle it so that the few people in the common area wouldn’t gawk at them. When he pulled his hand away, he was disgruntled to see that she was having trouble stopping herself. “It’s not that funny!”

“I mean…” Uraraka pulled her hand away and bit her lip. “It kind of is.” She giggled again. “ Monoma ? Really?”

“It’s stupid, okay?” The words began pouring out of him without a filter, which he was most definitely going to regret later but couldn’t stop right now. “He figured out that I like you and made fun of me, which could have been the end of it, but no, he just… It was like he was all over you. At first I thought he was just doing it to get under my skin, which pissed me off since I didn’t want him to use you like a tool to mock me, but then I started to think that he actually liked you and I-- Why wouldn’t he? What if it wasn’t about me at all but you? I was angry and confused and I didn’t know what to do--”

By the time he managed to cut himself off, absolutely red in the face, Uraraka was outright gawking at him like he’d grown a second head. What the fuck had just happened? He’d only come in here to apologize, not spill his guts like some sort of sap. He was breathing heavily and very aware of the fact that his heart was thundering in his chest like a rabbit being chased by a pack of dogs. In the back of his mind, a voice that sounded suspiciously like Deku told him that this was what happened when he held things in for too long. He did not need that right now.

“You, um, you like me?” Uraraka managed in a tone that said she was trying to be casual and failed.

Bakugou harrumphed. “Apparently it’s fucking obvious to everyone.”

“Wasn’t to me,” Uraraka said quietly.

“Me either,” Bakugou muttered. “Guess we’re both oblivious idiots.”

Uraraka watched him without saying anything for a while, as if gathering her thoughts. It made Bakugou want to squirm again, but he stood his ground. The ball was in her court now. He’d practically launched it at her and dared her to respond. Whatever she decided, he would respect. At least Kirishima had said that she didn’t like Monoma. She could like anyone else, even Deku or Todoroki or Iida, and he wouldn’t be upset. Disappointed? Fucking hell he would be, but that wasn’t something he could fight.

“So, jealous, huh?” Uraraka finally said. “Whatcha gonna do about it?”

“Well, ignoring it until it either goes away or I die hasn’t worked for me so far,” Bakugou replied dryly.

Uraraka smiled. “I’ve got an idea.”

Bakugou scoffed. “Oh yeah?”

“But you might be too scared,” Uraraka pointed out, her cheeks burning pink again like she’d run a mile.

“I’m not scared of shit,” Bakugou said heatedly.

Uraraka shrugged her shoulders. “You could take me on a date.” She popped a candy in her mouth. “Maybe you can even make Monoma jealous.”

A wolfish grin appeared on Bakugou’s face as they stared each other down. Judging from the way she wasn’t backing down in the slightest, he knew that she was serious. Granted, in his head, he’d always pictured being the one to ask her out on a date, but seeing as how he’d spent months avoiding this outcome, yeah, he should have expected it. Uraraka was a fighter. She gave as good as she got. It was one of the reasons he liked her so much in the first place.

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Bakugou said, burning with pride and really quite pleased with himself.

Uraraka giggled a little. “I’m expecting great things.”

“It’s gonna be the best fucking first date of your life,” Bakugou said and he meant it. Okay, so maybe he was going to have to find Ashido and figure out what sorts of ideas she had come up with, seeing as how he knew jack shit about dates, but he swore that it was going to be good. She was going to have so much fun. He wanted to kiss her right now, just for looking so infuriatingly cute eating Kaminari’s stolen candy, but he refrained himself. None of that mattered, not when for the first time in months, that old ugly feeling of jealousy was completely gone from his chest, making him feel lighter than air.

It turned out that the best way to get rid of it was to work through it. After being at U.A. for almost two years, he should have figured that out by now, but at least he was working on improving. That was all he could do. Without that monster clawing in the back of his mind though, he could already breathe easier. It didn’t matter what Monoma said or did. It didn’t matter what Bakugou said or did. It what Uraraka’s choice.

And she’d chosen him.

#katsuki bakugou #ochako uraraka #kacchako #monoma neito #bnha #bakuraka #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bakugou x uraraka #katsuki x ochako #uraraka x monoma #bnha fanfiction #kacchako discord #the things of songs

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homeiswherethestuckis · 7 years

Text

A Day At The Beach

I wrote this one for @amarandomperson, who requested davekat and the Mayor, which was something I was totally happy to do! :D It’s a post canon beach day. I hope you like it!

The Mayor’s been...busy ever since Can Town was founded on Earth C. Not that you haven’t been busy yourself, but being a god and being a mayor are two entirely different things. You feel like you haven’t seen the Mayor in forever. But today he finally has a day off! A day he said he wanted to spend with you and Karkat! Hell yeah, it’ll be just like old times again! Except this time you’re not on a meteor hurtling through the void towards a massive boss fight anymore.

So like old times, but without all the shit weighing down on your mind all the time. Old times but a fuck ton better.

You got out of bed the moment the sun came up, no point in wasting time sleeping right now. You crawled out of bed and got dressed quickly before heading downstairs. The strong smell of coffee hit you the moment you wandered into the kitchen. Karkat’s standing by the counter, holding his face close to the steam. He looks up at you as you enter and smiles.

“Morning.” He yawns.

“You’re up early.” You pour yourself a cup of coffee. “And you’re not grumbling my fucking ear off about how you’re days already ruined to shit by just the act of waking up and having your poor, fragile eyes immediately assaulted by the rays of this planet’s big scorch orb or whatever longwinded alien terminology you wanted to use for the morning’s rant.”

“Fuck you, dick ferret.” Karkat hands you the sugar. “I’m in a good mood today.”

“That’s rare.”

He snorts. “You don’t think I know that?”

You pour a ton of creamer and sugar into your coffee and stir until it goes from dark brown to a light tan. Honestly, you don’t even like coffee that much, but it does wake you up so at least it gets the job done. You take a drink and swallow half of it in one gulp. It burns your mouth a little, but you don’t mind. You have things to do today, you can’t wait for your coffee to cool.

“When are we going to see the Mayor?” Karkat asks.

“Damn, you’re not beating around the bush today.” You take another sip of your coffee.

“I was never that into attacking shrubbery, Dave.” He shrugs. “I’m more interested in knowing when we’re going to leave. Don’t tell me I wrenched myself from the grips of sleep for nothing.”

“There’s the morning hater I know and love.”

“Don’t sweet talk me and answer the question.”

“I don’t know. Soon, I guess.” You shrug. “As soon as possible. Probably right after this. And after you get dressed, obviously.”

You point out his pajamas. Technically they’re not pajamas, they’re just the clothes he fell asleep in last night. That’s usually the case with Karkat.

He puts his empty cup in the sink. “So if I change clothes, we can go? Right now?”

“Yeah, right now. I mean as long as the Mayor’s cool with it.” There’s no way he wouldn’t be, but you whip out your phone and start texting anyway just to make sure.

Karkat runs upstairs to get ready while you finish off your coffee. You get a text back in the meantime. The Mayor’s more than okay with you both coming over right now, and he’s just as excited to spend the day with you and Karkat.

He comes back downstairs in shorts and a t-shirt. “Okay, let’s go.”

Before you can even say anything in reply he grabs you by the wrist and starts dragging you out the door. You barely have time to put your coffee cup down and get your shoes before your socks are wet with dew from the grass. Karkat stops a few feet away from your house and turns around. He’s still got your wrist in a steel grip. “I don’t know where we’re going.”

“Yeah, I know.” You roll your eyes. “I got it. I figured we would just fly there. I know you hate doing it but it’ll be easier and a helluva lot faster than trying to hoof it from here.”

Karkat huffs but doesn’t protest. Today is a day of firsts.

You put an arm around him. “We can stop on the ground again whenever if the height freaks you out.”

“Heights don’t freak me out.” He says quickly. His arms are around you in a death grip the moment his feet leave the ground. Yeah, he’s not freaked out by heights. And you’re a fucking horse.

It doesn’t take very long to get to the Mayor’s place like this (though it definitely would have been a shorter amount of time if Karkat wasn’t weighing you down, not that you really mind), you’re in the air for less than ten minutes before you land back on solid ground in Can Town, just a few feet away from his door.

Karkat lets go of you and you both take a moment to appreciate the beauty that is Can Town at this scale. You’d both known that the Mayor had planned to build an actual town modeled after the one you’d both helped with on the meteor, but actually experiencing the town itself is always a treat. One of these days you’re really going to have to take some time off and really explore the place.

You wish you’d thought of that ahead of time, but that’s alright. The plans you made for today should be just as fun. You both walk over to the giant can the Mayor calls a house and knock on the door.

You don’t have to wait very long for the door to be flung open, and it’s only a split second later that the three of you are in the tightest group hug imaginable. Seriously, if you were any closer to these two people right now, you’d be merging into the same organism.

You’re not sure who initiated the hug and who’s breaking it apart, but you’re a little sad it’s already ending. It’s okay though because you’re still holding hands once the hug’s over with.

The Mayor asks where you’re all planning on going, and Karkat turns to you, also curious about today’s destination. It only occurs to you just now that even though you spent the past few days discussing this together you forgot to tell him what you’d finally decided on doing.

“I was thinking we could go to the beach.” You say. “You know, walk around, watch the waves, soak up that sun, all that cliche crap. It’ll be fun.”

You shrug as if you didn’t waste literal hours of your life coming up with this plan. Karkat and the Mayor exchange a look that you can’t really read.

Karkat’s the first to speak. “I’ve never been to the beach.” He admits, shrugging. “It’s probably awful and I’ll hate it, but I’d like having another experience to complain about.”

The Mayor agrees, but is more enthusiastic about it than Karkat is.

“Cool.” You nod. “I don’t think it’s too far a walk from here. Karkat, you should be happy about that.”

“I told you, heights don’t freak me out!” He snaps.

“You’ve made your opinion about flying pretty vocally clear during multiple bitch fits in the past, I was just trying to be nice.” You reply. “Besides, I never said anything about heights.”

“Fuck you, ass mucus, it was implied.”

“No, not even a little.”

The three of you start walking as you and Karkat continue to bicker about whether or not you implied that Karkat was afraid of heights, a fact which he continues to claim he isn’t even though nobody believes him or even cares if he is. The argument eventually peters to a close without reaching a real conclusion and you both turn your attention to chatting with the Mayor instead like you really should have been doing all along.

The Mayor’s been up to a lot lately. Right now he’s working on a big project, some sort of monument to people he knew before. Other than that, things have been pretty normal for him. The citizens all love him, and he participates in decision making with the leaders of the carapacian kingdom often (which makes sense because Rose and Kanaya know him personally and Roxy seems like she’d be open to that). He’s busy, but he’s happy. Everything’s been good for him so far.

The same can be said for you and Karkat, and you take turns telling the Mayor everything you’ve done since you saw him last. Karkat does a lot of the talking, and you occasionally interrupt with a comment or something Karkat forgot to mention. You like listening to them talk, you’ve never heard Karkat speak so softly to anyone else before. It’s kind of endearing.

There’s salt on the breeze that you’ve never tasted before. If you were being honest with yourself, one of the reasons you wanted to come here was because you’ve never seen the ocean in person. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t relieved to find out that Karkat hasn’t seen it, either.

The three of you reach your destination, and you all stand here motionlessly and take it all in. It’s bluer than you imagined, and surprisingly vast. It looks endless from here, and you feel small and a little insignificant in comparison. The feeling passes once you remember that this shit only exists because you helped create it in the first place. Suck it, ocean.

You tear your eyes away from the water and glance over at the other two. They both look just as entranced with the waves as you are. You could probably waste a good chunk of time just holding hands and staring, mesmerized by the fucking current like a bunch of asshats.

“Wow.” Karkat says, looking shocked at his own comment. “It’s...really pretty.”

“I want to throw a rock at it.”

Both of their heads snap over to you. “Dave, what the fuck?”

“I have no other explanation besides this.” You let go of the Mayor’s hand so you can give the most exaggerated shrug you can manage.

“Well, moment’s ruined. What the hell are we supposed to do now, Dave?” He asks, raising an eyebrow at you. “Or was staring at a giant salt puddle all that was on the itinerary today?”

“That’s a pretty biting tone for someone who was way more than okay with doing that all day a second ago.” You reply. “But no, there’s more. Like I said, there’s so much cliche shit we could do. We did the staring at the waves part, so that’s a big check mark in the done square. We could get closer and walk around in the sand, Karkat you strike me as the whole ‘I like long walks along the beach’ kind of guy, if I’m being honest here. Or if that’s not really something you feel like doing because your poor toes are too sore to appreciate the sand right now since we walked all the way over here, then we could do something else. Try to skip rocks or some shit. Sand castles. You know the drill.”

“No, I really don’t.” He shakes his head. “None of what you said made any fucking sense. Are you having a stroke?”

“No, Karkat, I am not having a stroke, but thank you for your concern, I really appreciate it, dude.” You start taking off your shoes and socks. “If none of the things I suggested made any sense to you, then clearly that means we gotta do all that shit. Right fucking now. Don’t you think so, Mayor?”

He nods, and that’s all the confirmation you need before running off towards the water. You reach the sand, and it’s warm under your feet. Karkat and the Mayor follow behind you.

“Why’d you take off your shoes?” Karkat asks, staring at your already sand coated feet.

You wiggle your toes at him. “It’s part of the beach experience. Come on, take yours off.”

He takes his shoes off reluctantly and holds them in one hand as he puts his feet carefully on the ground.

“So, sand?” You pry. “Yea or nay?”

“I could take it or leave it.” He replies, looking down at his feet as he moves the sand around. “I still prefer shoes and solid ground, but if I have to be barefoot on ground up rocks to get the full cliche experience, then fuck it, sure. I’ll do it.”

He throws his shoes so they land near yours. “So,” he says, crossing his arms over his chest, “what are we doing first?”

“I don’t know about you,” you stoop down and start digging through the sand, “but I still want to throw a rock at it.”

You manage to find a smooth, good sized rock deep in the sand. “I figured skipping rocks would be a good start.”

You fling your rock at the ocean as a demonstration. You don’t actually know how to skip a rock, so it just plunks right into the water.

“Dave, that didn’t skip.” Karkat points out.

“How the fuck would you know? You didn’t even think skipping rocks was a thing until a couple seconds ago.”

“Yeah, but even I know that’s not what a skipped rock looks like.”

“Well why don’t you do it, then, if you’re such an expert at rock skipping?” You goad.

Karkat takes the bait without hesitation. “Okay, give me a rock and I’ll do it.” He holds out his hand to you.

You push his hand away. “I can’t do that. Finding your own rocks is an integral part of this practice, man. You gotta do it yourself. It wouldn’t count if I did it for you.”

“Fine.” His hands are on his hips. “Just you wait, I’m going to find a great rock and I’m going to skip the fuck out of it while you stand there, shamefaced and completely owned by me, a total rock skipping noob. Get ready to grovel at my feet, Dave.”

“Grovel?” You smirk. “Now that sounds like a challenge, Karkat. Are you sure you want to go through with that?”

“Fuck yeah, I do.” He nods. “Based on your severe lack of skill, I think I stand a good chance of winning.”

“Oh, is that so? In that case, you’re on! Mayor, do you want in on this, or are you cool with judging?”

The Mayor picks up a rock. He’s in.

“Okay, cool.” You nod. “So here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re going to take four minutes to split up and scour the beach for rocks to throw, and when those four minutes are up we’ll meet back here with our rocks and start throwing them. The first person whose rock actually skips will be declared the winner, and Karkat will have to lick all the sand off of my feet.”

“That’s only if you win, right?”

“Nope. You have to bathe my nasty, sand covered feet clean with your tongue regardless of who wins. Sorry, bro, I don’t make the rules.”

“Yes, you do! You just made that rule just now!”

“Wow, what the fuck, Karkat, I can’t believe you’re accusing me of making up rules. I’ll have you know that that’s always been a rule in rock skipping competitions. You have to lick my feet, that’s just how this game is.”

“If you put your vile sand frond anywhere near my face I’ll skip my rocks off your shades.”

“Oh, is that a threat?”

“Yes, obviously it’s a threat, you dense piece of moldy grubloaf.”

The Mayor intervenes before this can escalate into a contest to see who can throw the best insult at the other’s face and gets you back on track to what it actually is, a contest to see who can throw the best rock.

“How will we know the four minutes are over?” Karkat asks, tilting his head.

That’s a good question. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll keep track of the time and yell for you guys when time’s up.”

“And we’re supposed to meet up right back here?”

“That’s the plan, yeah.” You nod.

“How the fuck are we supposed to find right here? I mean, look around for a second, Dave, this all looks the fucking same. How am I supposed to differentiate this exact spot from all of the other identical spots on this sand strip?”

Before you can come up with an answer, the Mayor draws a big 'X’ in the sand between you and Karkat with his foot.

“Like that.” You point at the 'X’. “That should help you find your way back easier, as long as you keep looking at the ground.”

Karkat studies the 'X’ carefully and nods. “Yeah, that should help. Thanks, Mayor.”

“Okay, so we’re meeting back here in four.” They both nod. “Ready....go!”

You all split up, and you start searching frantically along the beach for some good rocks. You find a good amount closer to the water where the sand is damp and grab as many as you can before the four minutes are up. When the time’s run out, you make your way back with an entire pile of rocks in your arms.

Karkat and the Mayor have both also found a good amount of rocks, and their’s are already lain down on the ground before you get there.

“Well, Karkat, why don’t you start?” You say as you promptly dump your rocks next to you. “Show me up at skipping rocks. Right here, right now.”

“Oh, you bet I’ll show you.” He picks up a rock. From the very limited knowledge you have about skipping rocks, you know his isn’t going to work very well. He winds up like he’s about to throw a baseball, which is also not what you’re supposed to do, and tosses it into the water.

It makes a fair amount of distance before it hits the water, you’ll give him that much. You knew this was going to be the end result, but you can’t help but laugh anyway. “That was awful.”

He bristles. “Shut up! You didn’t do any better.”

“Yeah, I know, but I’m definitely closer to skipping a rock than you are.” You toss one of yours, and even though it doesn’t skip it still looks like a better throw than Karkat’s was. That’s really all that matters.

Karkat picks up another rock and holds it in his hands. “I’m going to put you in your place, Dave. Mark my words, I’m going to kick your ass by getting this rock to skip before you even know what hit you.”

He throws it underhand this time, and it splashed unceremoniously into the water. Karkat growls in frustration, already pissed off at his inability to throw a god damn rock the way he wants to.

“My guess is it’s going to be a rock.” You reply as you toss one of your rocks. It falls in with a thunk. “You’ll have a better chance at hitting me than you would getting any of those misshapen petrified shits to skip.”

He yells and throws another one. It goes right in the water again.

You throw another one, and it plops right into the water just like the rest of them. It’s not much longer before you’re both shouting and throwing rocks into the water without any intention of even trying to get them to skip across. Your supply of rocks is depleted sooner than expected.

You both stand there, breathing hard and watching the waves crashing against the shore.

“So who the fuck won?” You wonder out loud.

“It’s a tie.” Karkat says, kicking the sand. “We’re out of rocks and we both suck.”

“That’s true. Fine, a tie it is.” You turn on your heel and are about ready to suggest something else when you notice that the Mayor still has his rocks piled by his feet. “Mayor, how come you didn’t throw any of yours?”

He shrugs. You and Karkat looked like you were having fun, he didn’t want to interrupt.

You feel bad for accidentally leaving him out. That’s the opposite of what this day’s supposed to be about. “Before we do anything else, you should at least throw one. You were a part of this competition, too.”

“Didn’t he already win, since we both tied for last?”

“Well yeah, but you can’t be a real winner without throwing at least one rock.”

The Mayor takes a rock off of his pile. You and Karkat both watch as he approaches the water slowly before throwing it.

It skips.

It skips five fucking times.

“Holy shit.”

“Is that what we were supposed to be doing?” Karkat asks incredulously. “I don’t think I’m physically capable of doing that.”

“Yeah, me neither.” You admit. “Fuck, he made it look so easy. Mayor, how the hell did you do that?”

He doesn’t answer you and throws another rock. This one also skips. He picks up another one and tosses it. That one skips, too. Damn, all this time you spent with the Mayor and you didn’t even know he was a rock skipping champion. You think you know a guy.

“Could you show us how to do that?” Karkat asks after the Mayor’s fourth rock skips three times across the water.

The Mayor nods and places a rock in both Karkat’s and your hands. You watch carefully as he gives a slow demonstration of what he’s doing. You both try to copy him as best you can. Yours still falls right in. Karkat somehow manages to get his to skip once. Just the once.

Once is enough, though.

“I did it!” Karkat yells excitedly, pumping his fist in the air. “Fucking finally! Dave, did you see that? Mine skipped! I beat you!”

“Yeah, I saw.” You sigh in defeat. As much as you would have loved to beat him, you don’t really mind losing. Karkat’s so fucking ecstatic about winning a dumb rock throwing game, it’s actually adorable. “I guess I just can’t skip rocks.”

“You’re damn right, you can’t!” Karkat grins. “And now you have to french my sand foot!”

“Whoa, wait, I never agreed to that.”

“Yes, you did! Don’t lie to me, Dave. Loser has to kiss my feet, sorry them’s the rules. I don’t make them, I just enforce them. Now get down and do it, asshole.”

“No, that’s gross.”

“Of course it’s gross, but you have to do it because you lost.”

“I’m not doing it.”

“Do it.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Do it or I’ll rub my foot on your face.”

“Fine,” you start inching backwards, “do it.”

“I will,” he moves closer to you, “just stop moving first.”

“No,” you shake your head and take another step backwards, “if you really want to shove your foot all up in my beautiful grill, you’re going to have to catch me first.”

You bolt, kicking up sand as you run away. Karkat and the Mayor start chasing you all along the beach. You run as fast as you can, only a couple steps ahead of the other two the whole time. Karkat gets close to catching you a few times, you can feel his fingers brush against you every once in awhile.

You come to a stop without warning when you start to feel like you can’t run anymore. Karkat and the Mayor both run into you, and you all topple over into a heap in the sand. You roll over so your face isn’t pressed into the sand anymore.

“Do you give up yet?” Karkat asks, he’s breathing directly into your face. His breath smells like coffee and toothpaste.

You wrinkle your nose. “I got sand in my mouth, does that count?”

“Yeah, that can count, if you want to be a grub about it.” Karkat replies, snorting.

“I do want to be a grub about it.” You say. “That’s what I am, a big ol’ baby bug. Are you happy now?”

“As long as you can live with yourself being a big grub, then yeah, I am.” He shrugs, flopping off of you and onto the sand.

You start making a sand angel. “What do you guys want to do next?”

“I don’t know.” Karkat says, throwing his hands over his head. “We skipped rocks, we did the whole long walk along the beach thing, what else is there?”

“We could try building a sand castle, maybe splash around in the waves a little. Lunch would eventually be a good idea, too. Mayor, what do you want to do?”

The Mayor’s still sprawled halfway on you. He taps his fingers on your stomach while he thinks about his options. He settles on building a sand castle. That should be fun.

You didn’t bring anything to try and build a sand castle, so you all try your best to pile sand into something resembling a structure with just your hands. It doesn’t go very well and you just end up with a sand dome that keeps crumbling every time you try to add more to it.

You pack on too much at once, and your sand tower falls over from too much weight and half covers the Mayor with sand.

“Well, shit.” Karkat sighs, dropping the handfuls of sand he’d carried over onto the ground. “There goes all our hard work for nothing.”

“Hold up, there’s another thing we could do.” You say. “We could bury the Mayor. You know, if he’s okay with that.”

“But we like him, why the fuck would we do that?”

“Because it’s a weird fun human thing that weird fun humans do.” You explain. “And we’re not actually going to bury him, his head will still be uncovered still. Mayor, you cool with getting buried? You’re already half covered.”

He nods. You and Karkat start covering him with the sand from your failed castle until you can’t see anything except his head anymore.

“Okay,” Karkat pats another clump of wet sand over the Mayor’s feet, “this was fun, what do we do now?”

You shrug. “I don’t know. Dig him out?”

“But we just finished burying him.”

You lay back down in the sand. “Bury me?”

“No, fuck that.” Karkat stands up. “There’s too much of you to bury, it’ll take forever and I don’t want to. I have better things to do.”

“Do you?” You sit up. “Like what?”

“This.” He marches straight over to the water and jumps in ankle deep before running right back out again. “Fuck, never mind, that was terrible and I regret so much.”

He shoves his feet right back into the sand. “What else should we do?”

You give it a long thought. “We could break for lunch? I got picnic stuff in my sylladex.”

Karkat and the Mayor exchange yet another one of those looks. The Mayor thinks lunch sounds like a good idea.

“Yeah.” Karkat agrees. “I could eat.”

The Mayor gets himself unburied, and the three of you head back up to the grass. You lay a blanket down and all your lunch stuff, and you all sit down and watch the water while you eat.

After you finish with lunch, you go right back to the water’s edge. You chase each other and splash around and play in the sand for hours, right up until it gets colder and the sun starts to set. The three of you head back up to the Mayor’s house and drop him off. You’re both sad to leave him, but he still has things he has to do tomorrow, and technically so do you. You’re already all making plans for next time, when you want to get a full tour of Can Town. The Mayor is more than happy with this arrangement and is already thinking up which destinations to go to first when you leave him.

“Okay,” you wrap an arm around Karkat, “are you ready to go?”

“Can’t we just walk for a little bit?” Karkat grumbles, dragging his feet. “It’s such a nice night, and I don’t want to go home yet.”

“Please, you just don’t want to fly.”

“That, too.” He agrees, shrugging. “I’m not ashamed to admit it, I’d rather go on a long walk with you than a short trip being carried like a bunch of god damned luggage.”

“You’re not luggage.” You ruffle his hair. “But we can walk around for a little bit longer if you want.”

“Yeah,” he nods, nuzzling into your chest a bit. Karkat’s still sweaty and hot from all the running around you both did. You feel sticky, but it’s alright. “that’d be good.”

Karkat made a good point, it’s nice out tonight, and it’s even nicer having him here with you. You walk around together with Karkat’s head on your shoulder while the moon rises and the stars blink to life above you to light your path back home.

#long post #fic request #davekat #dave strider #karkat vantas #the mayor #fanfic #I went a little overboard with this one #sorry if it's not exactly what you wanted #I hope you like it #it's pretty much every cliché beach episode of an anime ever #at least that's what it felt like while I was writing it #yo it's a fic and I wrote it

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