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#for any that are curious the other presentations that night were:
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so me and the squad had a presentation party-
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on-leatheredwings · 2 months
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False Pretenses (18+)
Yandere ! Damian Wayne x (Fem) Reader
romantic, 18+ > summary: Damian needs an heir someday, and he knows your body can provide that. > tw/cw: stealthing/baby trapping. there is consensual sex under false pretenses, so this could (and should) make this fall under dub- or non-con! there is also a brief mention of somnophilia. Plus, some breeding kink, praise kink. Also some weird thoughts about (cis) women who are fertile being ‘ideal’ and a preference for biological children. Just a warning. > word count: 5088. jesus christ. > [a/n: (smokes a blunt). ] > again 18+ only, damian wayne is 21
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So, Damian has a breeding kink.  
You sit in bed (his bed), knees to your chest, trying not to smile.
The covers are wrapped around your bare body as you recall the night prior’s events. 
Last night was the farthest you two have gone physically. You’ve made out, of course. That was in short order after officially becoming a couple, the both of you starved for the other. You’ve groped each other, both over and under your clothes… You’ve given him a handjob… (To his utter dismay that you’ve brought him to orgasm first rather than the reverse.) And last week, you took him in your mouth for the first time. But yesterday night was the first time you had been on the receiving end. 
Now, you are no virgin, but the memory does make you clutch your metaphorical pearls. You didn’t know simple fingering could be so… perverse.
Damian’s two middle fingers are thrusting back and forth into your trembling cunt. Your ears are steaming at the resulting noises filling the air. They’re lewd, and entirely involuntary on your part. Sweat on your temple drips, your torso heaves with shaken breath. Your damp back lies flush against his hard chest, two perfect puzzle pieces. Damien’s chin rests on your shoulder, allowing him to have a beautiful view of the mess you’re making on his slender digits. Viridian eyes have their entire focus on you, utterly fascinated. 
The look in them is enough to make you blush, even if two of his fingers weren’t in you right now.
Sinful, reverent whispers into the shell of your ear marvel about how well you’re doing, how prepared you’ll be to take him afterwards. Damian’s free hand rests on your abdomen, pointedly over your womb.
He’ll fill you. Breed you. After all, you can handle that. You were basically made for it. He knows you’d be perfect at it.
Chin resting on the palm of your hand, you come back to the present. 
Yeah, that was really turning him on, you mull, with almost academic interest. Your lips curl into a catlike grin. How curious!
Hey, you aren’t judging! You can see the appeal. After all, you hadn’t exactly been complaining last night… just caught off guard. 
You sit with your thoughts as Damian washes up in his restroom. 
It is in his bedroom you currently lounge, absentmindedly fiddling with satin sheets. His bed is large enough to drown in. His room is a wash of dark emerald greens and deep blues, with golden accents. On a table sits a sheathed sword, its grip a beautiful gold.
Both of you are college students finishing up your last semester. During the school season, Damian stays in his penthouse. Yes, his penthouse. Why he couldn’t just stay at his billionaire father’s mansion, you don’t know. Bird has to leave the nest sometime, you suppose. 
Slowly lowering your knees and letting your back hit cool sheets, you lie down. You get lost in the ceiling – a beautiful Arabesque pattern is subtly molded across its expanse. Damian’s culture is so cool. Such was a sentiment you had communicated in such words, and he simply kissed your knuckles with a proud curve of his lips, and thanked you for the compliment. You blush.
Ugh. Damian is so cool. 
You start pulling up every uncool thing about him in your mental reservoir. You can’t have him getting a big head, after all. Or rather, can’t have his head getting any bigger.
Hmm… breeding kinkster, breeding kinkster, thy name is Damian Wayne.
You blink dumbly.
Breeding... breeding…
Pregnancy.
Your body stiffens. 
Wait. Does this… does that mean something? Is that like. A thing? What people call foreshadowing? You sit up, disturbed.
At that exact moment, Damian saunters out of the washroom. His eyes catch yours immediately, as if drawn by magnetism. He is still shirtless, navy blue sweatpants looking entirely artful on his tall, bronze body. His usual shrewd expression relaxes at the sight of you.
At the sight of him, your heart skips a beat, and not out of admiration for his looks. It was like you had been caught red-handed, speculating things. Sometimes you swear he knows what you’re thinking.
He stalks toward you, eyes loving. He places a kiss on your lips, punctuating it with “Good morning, my love.” 
“G-good morning,” you return, painfully aware of your nakedness under his sheets. He doesn’t seem to mind, though. He places kisses on your bare shoulder, trailing down until he’s kissing your hand. While normally you’d be melting, you remain stiff.
Damian pecks one last kiss when you blurt, “Do you want kids?”
You inwardly smack your forehead. Well, you weren’t one to shy away from a tough conversation. For better or worse.
Damian stirs, blinking at you.
You continue, trying not to wilt, “Do… Do you want kids? I-is that something you want? Like, someday?”
How the hell did this not come up sooner, you don’t know.
… Well. 
Perhaps it hadn’t come up because your relationship was fairly new. You’ve known Damian for five years now. And for the last two, your relationship had been under a taxing, soul-sucking ‘will-they-won’t-they-it’s-complicated’ vague denomination for quite a while. Both of you knew each of you had feelings for the other. But Damian confessing his vigilante secret and his assassin past was quite the double whammy. 
Damian was resolute in keeping you and himself safe and alive, but you had to think critically about a future with him. Eventually you said fuck it, throwing caution to the wind because you loved him, and you wanted him. And he, you.
Officially, it’s only been three months of dating – and you both are young. You both are in your last year of college. Talking about kids felt … fast.
Damian remains silent, face tentative. Having been leaning over you, he now sits on his bed, looking thoughtful. 
“... Is that something you want?”
You sigh. Of course he’d turn it on you.
“I…” Your throat feels tight. God, why can’t we just enjoy a damn honeymoon phase… “I mean…? I’m… open to it. But yeah, it seems kinda… Like. I don’t know. That’s a lot right now.” Your voice is uncharacteristically small and meek. 
You should stop there. Keep it vague. Keep things light. But you know which side of the fence you’re leaning on, and so should he.
“A-and you know– like, you know I didn’t have a good relationship with my mother– I just. Don’t know. If ever. I guess?” 
You sit in awkward silence with him. You pray God just decides to smite you where you sit, because Christ. That was horrible.
Things like this could break a relationship, you know. And your chest clenches painfully at the thought of separating from Damian.
Damian takes in your words, nodding. He’s usually so easy to read – you’re well-versed in Wayne-nese by now, having spent a lot of time with him and the rest of his family. But he seems to be withholding his inner thoughts intentionally from you. Your heart sinks. 
You nudge him with your feet.
“Damiii. Do you?”
Damian’s eyes glimmer with characteristic haughtiness, instantly making you warm. He crawls forward, hands sinking into the bed by your hips. He nips at your nose before locking lips. It’s a sweet, sweet kiss that’s like candy, until you feel the stroke of his hot tongue. You moan freely, not caring that he’ll likely tease you later for being so easy.
He retreats, licks his lips. 
“You fiend,” you blurt. The insult rolls off him.
“What I want is to be with you.” You swallow dryly, heart thumping like a chorus line. You wouldn’t be surprised if Damian could see literal hearts in your eyes. 
He puts a hand on your knee, stroking softly. You feel mollified at the action. Damian only did that when everything was alright. 
“We’ve got class. If you get dressed fast enough, I’ll buy you that confectionary you’re always wanting.”
You stick out your tongue. “It’s a frappe,” you say, adding before he could say otherwise, “and yes, it is real coffee.”
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Back from class, you decided to read on his living room recliner while he drew in his study. Damian indeed sketched, as he did everyday. Unsurprisingly, you were the subject, along with your favorite flowers. But Damian chose his study, rather than drawing you from life, because he also wanted to check if today was the day he thought it was. He opens the drawer of his wooden desk, papers neatly filed. He picks up a sleek black folder that spends most of its time laid in hiding underneath.
… 
So, for the record, Damian did not lie. 
He merely obfuscated an answer with a truth. 
He does want to be with you above anything, and if children were out of the question due to natural causes… sure, he would learn to get over it. His brothers are all adopted and are as legitimate heirs to his father as he. But as it stands, Damian needs an heir someday and he knows your body can provide that. 
… A not-insignificant part of him quietly admits that he simply wants his children to be blood-related. He’d never express this to anyone. His brothers are adopted, so how could he? But instilled from infancy into Damian was that he was the result of two genetically perfect individuals. 
So why shouldn’t his child be the genetic amalgamation of you and him, both of whom are also two perfect beings? The thought of impregnating you sounds… good. Ideal. Natural, even. Call him a romantic.
When opened, inside the folder is a calendar for the year, with no notes or writing. Some days are blank. Some are highlighted in either red or green.
His eyes skirt down to the current day of the calendar, and Damian's pleased to see it is indeed among a week that's painted in green. You've ovulated, and the six days afterward are an ideal window. 
You've said in passing that your cycle is pleasantly regular and Damian's past investigations have proved this to be true. Not that he asks anymore. He snorts, remembering how last time you looked at him incredulously and asked if he was a Republican, since he was “all up in your womb.” 
However, you do keep menstrual products in your bag when he’s predicted it. You also spend quite some time at his place, so he does note when there’s pad wrappers in his bathroom trash bin.
Last year, the day he knew you were the one – his One – he brewed you a tea before bed. Its sedative contents ensured you wouldn't wake, and you were out like a light within minutes. So, Damian pulled off your pants, and collected a specimen from you as you slept. Of course, he did so with sterile, sexless precision –  Damian wasn’t a pervert or deviant. He sniffs. He’s better than that. Even if his hands did linger.
Test results proved you were healthy and fertile. He recalls this with pride. As expected, you were perfect in all things. Damian closes the folder and ruminates in his seat. 
Damian had assumed so, but now you’ve confirmed with him that you’re unsure about raising children based on your history with your own family. He hears you. As if he doesn’t have his own slew of mommy problems. If you bring it up again, he’ll wave you off. You’ll be an amazing mother. You just need a push, and you’ll be confident soon enough.
His fingers steeple. Hm… There’s the issue of having children before marriage… He doesn’t know how you feel about children outside of wedlock, but it’s not as though you’re very traditional. You don’t seem to have a problem with the fact that’s how he was conceived. It’s not a big concern regardless, because Damian is going to marry you anyway. If it’s an issue, you both could marry in as soon as a month. 
It all works out. 
It’s perfect, he thinks.
Damian puts up his sketchbook and folder alike, heading to his bedroom to change. It was about time he put his plans into action, and he knows just how to usher it into fruition.
“That doesn’t look like a very satisfying read,” Damian says, folding his arms and leaning against the wall. 
You don’t look up from your book, your cringing face only deepening. 
“Well, that’s because it isn’t. I was lied to! By my favorite Youtuber! By BookTok! And fuck it, by the government–”
"My love."
“You ask for one slow burn rivals-to-lovers and instead you get him fawning over her within three chapters–”
“My love,” he repeats, though amused.
“And let’s not even start about how this prose is abysmal–”
“My love.”
Since it was said oh-so-sweetly, you look up from your book. 
Damian is... oh. He's in that outfit he knows you like. The League of Assassins one that's sleeveless, dark, and form fitting with gorgeous gold trim. It turns his body into a marvelous painting of black and gold on the tanned backdrop that is his skin. And you’ve told him so… Except his eyes. His beautiful, intense green eyes. He straightens from how he leans against the wall, stepping closer.
You toss your book, not even watching its trajectory. It takes out a vase on the way down and you still don’t spare it a glance.
"Damian Wayyyyyne," you sing, hopping up to stalk toward your prey. Your hands land on his chest. Hello, tig ol' biddies, you cheer internally. It takes considerable restraint to keep from saying it aloud – you know Damian gets all flustered with his delicate sensibilities. “Why, are you trying to seduce me?”
An elegant, thick brow rises in amusement. Well, that was exceedingly easier than expected.
“That depends entirely on whether it’s working.”
“Oh, it’s working,” you say, running your hands down to his abdomen. His hands rise to capture yours. 
“Tt.” 
Damian takes steps backward, leading you by the hands into his bedroom. Your leer grows even bigger. Oh, yes. You two lock eyes the whole while until you reach the foot of his bed, merriment and attraction dancing in both pairs.
You push him onto the bed, on all fours above him. You dive down for a deep kiss, tongue eager for a dance. Eventually it’s you who separates to breathe, panting lightly. The sight below you is one for sore eyes, Damian Wayne lying with eyes glazed with lust. He’s acting awfully agreeable, and you can’t say you don’t like it.
“Habibti, I want you.” Damian slides his hand to cup your crotch. You shiver, at his touch and his words.
“And you have me,” you say, voice warm. “Habibti.”
He smirks, probably thinking your accent could use some work. 
“It’s Habibi, coming from you.” 
You nod shyly, but you can have a lesson later. You’re about to slip off your pants when he brings your hand in between your bodies, placing it on his crotch. You sharply inhale. He’s hard, and straining against sinful, elastic tights. 
“... And I mean, I want all of you.”
Your brows rise. So, he wanted to go all the way today? You feel your cheeks and crotch flood with heat. You find it easier to nod your head rapidly, lest you start barking. At your agreement, Damian’s face washes over with anticipation. You’re glad it’s not just you over the moon at the prospect.
You both rip your clothes off manically, laughing and elbows butting into each other’s sides. Damian expertly flips positions, boxing you in with his knees. You exclaim in surprise, a sound that drifts into shaky breaths and mewls of pleasure as he runs his fingers over your breasts, your stomach… He wets his fingers with his mouth before his digits start circling your clitoris.
You inhale sharply, mesmerized by the cyclical motion. Never until Damian has sex felt so flustering. Just watching his administrations was overwhelming, let alone the feeling– Your head reels back from an electric shock of pleasure. You gasp into the air.
"W-wait... wait, you have a condom, right…?" you whisper, though you have half a mind to just go without. You need him.
Damian tensed. 
"I... I don't like how it feels." You raise a brow. You've heard condoms can feel like a second skin, especially nowadays. Then again, men were always complaining about them. It's not like you had the necessary equipment to confirm, so hell if you knew how it felt.
You place your hands on his cheeks, and his hands ghost over your wrists. You bite your lip.
"Well… Just this once? And if... it's that important to you, maybe I'll get on birth control–" 
His head jerks as if struck, his brows furrowed.
“No.”
You stare, agape. There’s a small pause, both of you staring at the other. Damian’s face looks as though he’s betrayed himself. Your boyfriend didn’t strike you as so… traditionalist, to say the least. Lord knows you wouldn’t be with him if he was… so you will hear him out before nurturing any suspicion. 
Sitting up on your forearms, you ask, “... What do you mean ‘no’?” 
"I mean… I…” Damian sighs, looking utterly frustrated with himself. “I mean, you don’t need to.” 
You blink and raise a brow, unimpressed. 
“... Because?”
Damian’s jaw hardens. He grits out, “Because, I'm… sterile." 
You flinch, purely from surprise. Damian merely stares, eyes narrowed in what you presume is annoyance at himself. 
Uh. Okay, hello brand new information? Why hadn't this come up before? Well, it is pretty sensitive information. And since you hadn’t had penetrative sex yet, why would he have brought it up? And today was the first day you had even thought about kids. It… makes sense. 
"Y-you are...?" You settle down, much like a cat whose hair is lowering from standing on end. "Okay… okay...” Damian remains stony, but he cringes at your clear relief. 
Mistaking it as embarrassment, you quickly stroke his cheek. “No, baby, I'm sorry about that." You could assume it's quite emasculating. Men and their complexes about performing and wow, suddenly the breeding kink makes sense.
“So, you can’t…” you trail off. Knock me up? remains gracefully unsaid.
Damian nods stiffly. He really does hate lying to you like this. "I've been told it's very... unlikely." In reality, Damian knows his sperm count, and he's verified there should be no issues with reproduction. You both are in peak condition.
Despite the heat raging in your pants and your body begging can we just fuck already, you furrow your brows. All of this sounded fine, but it was still just… you needed specifics. To be safe. After all, there’s no rush, is there? Even if your pulsating cunt would beg to differ, painfully aware that two naked people were in a bed not doing naked-people-things.
"When did you get tested? And w-why? I mean, you're only twenty-one." 
He waves his hand, snorting with his typical condescension. "I'm an heir to a dynasty – as soon as I was of age, it behooved us to know." 
Us. That’s not a you-and-me “us”. You cringe, thinking about Talia and Ra's Al Ghul making it their business to know Damian's fertility. What an invasion of privacy for him… And no wonder he thought nothing of being in your body’s business as well.
"Well, unlikely is still possible, right?” You fear any surprises. Lord knows it would be just your luck to get fertilized by the un-fertilizable. You point at him. “And we should be using condoms anyway! It's not just pregnancy we should be afraid of."
Damian wants to assure you how insanely low the chances are of an infertile male getting anybody pregnant, and is about to do so, when his eyes narrow. 
"Is there a reason we would need to protect against venereal diseases? There are none between the two of us." You flinch at his tone, colored with the acidity of jealousy. Suspicion.
The implication (accusation?) causes you to glare at him. 
“...Yeahhh, okay,” you reply coldly. “Moment's ruined.” 
You push him off you, but in a panic, he hisses your name. You flinch. At your wary expression, the color drains from his face.
“I… I’m sorry,” he says, brows furrowed and looking utterly ashamed. “I… I’m sorry.” You don’t meet his eyes, simply nodding. He places kisses on your wrist, shoulder, nose. Damian sometimes had his moods, although he was truly confusing you today.
“It’s fine, really,” you reassure. And it’s true, it was mainly the heat of the moment. You were sure Damian could never really scare you.
Your words don’t persuade the shame and fear out of his eyes or lighten the heaviness of his brow. You smile, huffing. Taking his face into your heads, you kiss him chastely on the forehead, nose tip, both cheeks. Until you punctuate the action with a kiss to his lips.
“Damian, really.”
Damian nods stiffly. He’ll never truly forgive himself, but he’s probably okay enough for now.
You shift on the bed, and there’s the telltale sensitivity between your thighs. Damn it. You still want him. You two stare at each other, still very naked and aroused. You turn the idea in your head … He’s sterile, right? And pregnancy is your only reservation. 
As if hearing your thoughts, Damian’s face fills with determination. 
“... I-it’s–” okay, let’s have sex anyway, you are going to finish. 
“I’ll do it,” he interrupts. You blink. He leans toward you, close enough that you can see the flecks of gold in his eyes. You’re sure he’s about to kiss you, when he suddenly withdraws. 
Your eyes catch the glimmer of some metallic object. He holds a silver square wrapper in between his fingers, likely plucked from beneath his pillow.
You look at him, and he says frankly, “I’ll do anything for you.” 
You melt… before grinning, catlike. “My, my. So it seems Mr. I-Don’t-Like-Condoms still prepares a contingency plan. Very Son of Batman of you–”
“Shut it,” he groans, dotting kisses along your neck to make you do just that.
You feel relief flood your bloodstream. Then it is quickly replaced with raging desire. Oh, finally. 
“Lay back,” he says, too soft to be an order. You do so without fanfare, a little curious as to why he’s not following you. Then you see him scoot back, feel him hike up your lower half, and you feel a thrill of excitement. 
You squeak, feeling your ass leaving the bed entirely. A pillow is quickly placed underneath, and you are feeling quite pampered.
There’s curious licks along your labia, to which you twitch.
Damian finds his way to your clitoris, suckling and stroking heavily with his tongue.
“Hhnngh,” you speak. Keep going. Right there. 
“Truly, a poet,” Damian’s voice says, muffled. You bite your lip, unable to retort because it feels too good. Damian is curious, experimenting. You know he’s gamifying this, responding and changing his strategies entirely on what draws the most unintelligible noise out of you. He slips his tongue in, and you grasp at his hair. He responds by pumping it back and forth.
Eventually, you do fear he’ll bring you to orgasm with this alone, when you both have more plans for the evening. 
You wipe a layer of sweat from your temple, panting. “I’m ready. I’m ready,” you say, tugging meekly at short black locks.
Damian hums, and the vibration hits you straight in the clit. He sits up on his forearms, lips delightfully messy. His cheeks are ruddy and his brows are pinched with effort, chest heaving for breath. He looks very good like this. 
“I’m ready,” you say again. Damian doesn’t need to be told twice. Your head hits the back of the pillow, and you close your eyes as you catch your breath. You hear the rustling and discarding of a condom wrapper. Damian positions himself accordingly, hands sunk into the bed on either side of your waist.
“Ready?” he asks. His eyes hold… shyness, if you can believe it. You stroke his cheek, grinning. 
“Always ready for you,” you respond. You make sure to sit up. You want to see.
You watch, fascinated, as the head of Damian’s cock slowly disappears into your body. The consonance between seeing it and feeling it only stokes the fire of your arousal. 
You moan openly, the sound making your ears heat. Damian dares to chuckle, and you claw his back in retaliation. 
“Oh, shut up, and go deeper,” you breathe, eyes fluttering with pleasure. You didn’t realize how much you missed this. The feeling of being filled, of being full. You didn’t realize you could miss something you never had as well – Damian felt like he belonged in you. You feel every inch of you work to accommodate his sudden presence.
“And how can I deny such a request?” he gasps aloud, voice strained. 
You feel more than a little pride that you were among the few who could make Damian bend to your whims with this (or any) level of subservience. The proud, proud Damian Wayne. The same Damian that sinks into you further, into your tight, hot wetness. He finally bottoms out and you exhale.
“You’re… a perfect… fit,” you say, dazed and in between pants.
Little do you know the resulting pang that shoots into his groin at that statement. He grasps you harder, maybe even enough to bruise. He needs you badly. He needs to fill you badly.
Damian leans even more forward, and you squeal. You’re just along for the ride at this point. He does all the necessary machinations to fold you in half, thighs bending back.
"W-wait," you stutter, but it falls on deaf ears. 
He’s really stretching the limits of your flexibility here. Before you know it, you’re in a mating press. 
“Damian,” you moan, because you’re too overstimulated to say much else.
“You’re perfect,” he says into the shell of your ear. “You can take this. You were made for this.” You nod, slack-jawed. He rocks into you, skin slapping against skin as your pelvises meet. Your eyes flutter and roll back.
“I could spend forever filling you up. I could spend forever watching it spill out of you.” 
You close your eyes, cheeks aflame, much too embarrassed by his perverse whispers. You feel … almost ashamed at how much it arouses you. Almost. Majorly, it’s fulfilling a dark fantasy you didn’t know you liked.
“... Come inside me,” you breathe, unable to say anything more. You were embarrassed enough. He was using a condom, it was assumed he would be. But hopefully he’d see you were participating in his little fantasy, that you liked it too…
His thrusts are unyielding, and they only get harder, faster, more desperate as the time passes. Damian finishes with a groan, his abs clenching and flexing with effort.
You welcome it, taking it all because he’s right, you were made for this. In this moment, it’s like you were entirely made for this.
To your surprise, there’s sudden stroking on your throbbing clit, and that brings you to the finish line as well.
Your head jerks back violently, body snapping to attention as you ride the wave of an orgasm. A gasp by your ear. You’re clenching around Damian’s length, wringing him dry.
He collapses, narrowly keeping himself from squashing you flat. The two of you are a tangle of sweaty limbs, chests heaving.
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“You’ve got to get out of me sometime,” you tease.
You’ve both been lying like this, too taxed to move for maybe ten minutes now. 
“Is that so? Honestly, I could die here without complaint,” Damian says, and you get the feeling he’s dead serious. Nevertheless, he rolls away. He does not let you go far, wrapping his arms around you. You shiver at the feeling of him unsheathing himself, suddenly feeling empty.
… And wet. Wetter than expected.
You keep from flushing. Damn, you were really enamored with him, it seems.
You rub your thighs together, relishing in the feeling. Until you pause.
… No, like, you’re really wet. 
You slowly sit up, investigating. To your surprise, you’re leaking… cum. And clearly not just your own. It’s smattered down your thighs, sticky. When you pause and can literally feel the cum drip out of you, you exclaim.
“Fuck… fuck.” You put a hand to your dripping cunt, and are surprised when it indeed comes back wet and pearlescent white. It’s for real. 
“What’s wrong?” you hear, but you hardly register it.
You pull at a scrap of wrinkled plastic, pulling it out. The condom is shredded. It broke. 
“Damian. It broke.”
You stare at it dumbly. It broke. You feel the onset of fear creep by… it’s held at bay, when you feel Damian hushing you, stroking your shoulders.
Damian holds you, asks why are you worrying…? He told you there’s no way. He can’t, he’s sterile. 
You dumbly nod, combating fear by reasoning with yourself. Well… you were about to have sex without it anyway, after all. What does it matter if the condom broke? 
You suppose it’s just the shock of a failsafe… well, failing to save you. So why do you feel so disconcerted? What’s this niggling feeling, you wonder. You stare at your inner thighs. His cum paints you like a mark.
“It’s nigh impossible,” Damian states. He’s doing what he does best – nullifying your emotions with facts. He pulls you back into his arms, your back against his chest. “The condom was really for your peace of mind. It’s not like it did anything.”
You don’t speak, simply staring at the condom in your hand. You nod. 
“Really, there’s no point in wearing condoms from now on anyway. They break.” 
Damian’s fingers trace circles on the bone of your shoulders. “I mean, they’re practically pointless. And either way–”
With his long reach, he grabs his phone off the nightstand. He pulls up an article, illustrating the likelihood of him successfully inseminating you. 
“See?” he says. “It’s not a factor.”
Unwilling to let whatever strange funk you’ve entered ruin the afterglow of your orgasm, you nod again. You turn your head halfway, smiling. Of course, without missing a beat, Damian kisses you sweetly. 
To hell with the condom. And to hell with getting stuck in your head. Lord knows you overthink everything. It’s as Damian says. 
His fingers dance on your abdomen, and it tickles. 
It’s impossible.
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ixiot-ghostrebel · 5 months
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Hello! I saw that your requests are open so I thought, I'll shoot my shot
So, it'll be SAGAU with Impostor and Isekai trope. The reader is a real Creator, while the fake one is on the throne. But! What if they look completely different? Characters don't hunt reader because well, they don't look like their beloved grace and they're unaware that their sweet creator is in fact a real impostor.
But when you look at reader and the fake creator, you can see a total difference in their surroundings. The real Creator - Reader, is connected to the Teyvat, right? The flowers bloom everywhere where they stand, the trees are more green and lively, while there's nothing like this with the impostor in the throne.
So! To the idea- How about Zhongli and Kaeya's (or any other characters you'd like to add here) to see their Reader cut themselves and suddenly bleed gold - while they saw their beloved Grace bleed red and suddenly, they connect the dots?
Ooh, this is certainly interesting, @ilumin! I'll see what I can come up with :)
Zhongli & Kaeya Find Out The Imposta :)
You weren't gonna lie—you kinda freaked when you realize the isekai and sagau trope thing happened on you. Reading fanfiction from the internet, you knew how things were gonna go down. You read the signs.
Safe to say you were not expecting you yourself to be the "lucky winner" of this entire thing. Nu-uh. Not one bit. You knew this was gonna be a hellhole.
That is, of course....you realized that the Imposter did not look like you at all. You were kinda stoked about it—that means you weren't gonna get ratted out, or killed, or hunted—so yay you! Time to chill with some bros! Time to free ball it while you still can!
And thennn... one night you were hanging with some ppl, and you accidentally nicked your finger.
You guessed it right, fellas, you bled gold. And that did not go unnoticed.
Good luck.
(Warning: Might be OOC!)
Zhongli
When he first met you, Zhongli thought you were like The Traveler—you were someone who passed the Celestial Atmosphere above, and descended down to traverse the world.
With Their Grace present, their world has prospered and Zhongi is proud to say that Liyue was doing well under their rule. But when you came, he was a little surprised to see how the earth seemed to connect with you. Flowers around you seemed brighter, precious rocks seem to surface at your presence..and you somehow manage to always be able to get the most freshest fruit anyone can come across.
You were truly an interesting enigma that Zhongli is curious to learn more of. He commits every detail about you to memory. The day the wind conveniently came to the rescue when the days were boiling hot. The time where you managed to restock your food stalls even though so many Liyueans were nabbing them and almost leaving you nothing. Everything Zhongli saw, he noted down in his mind.
You eventually became acquainted with him the moment he walks up to your food stall. It wasn't that packed in the morning (somehow), and it allowed the two of you to get to know one another better. Safe to say your relationship was solid.
And then you bled gold that one night. Zhongli eyes your blood with wide expressions, before immediately excusing the both of you out of the situation.
He cannot believe that the person that sits on the Creator's Throne was not the Creator. He's constantly being bombarded with the "Creator" and their meetings, while you were just selling goods on the streets of Liyue.
"...Your Grace..." Zhongli looks at you as he puts a bandage over your finger. "...Truly, we have all been deceived." And while you're glad that he wasn't suggesting you start up a riot, you were kind of worried about what he'll do to the Imposter the next time Zhongli sees him.
Safe to say he did have a "Chat" with them that consisted of a meteor and a lot of "I will have Order!" voicelines repeating over and over again.
Kaeya
When you got plopped into Mondstadt, somehow, the winds started becoming more gentle and a lot more carefree. Everyone saw this as a sign of Barbatos, you saw this as a sign of the world trying to rat you out or something.
You decided to get a job at the Tavern to get info, and boom you meet Kaeya. You should've expected this when you got a job at Angel's Share, because this hottie bro is very much interested on your merchandise.
Safe to say, though, Kaeya was very interested in you. Like Zhongli, he takes note of your every move. But, unlike Zhongli, Kaeya's trying to see how your...unique superpowers work, and how they can be used to help protect Mondstadt—assuming he manages to convince you to join.
Kaeya is very talkative in the Tavern, so he usually talks to the bartenders. Diluc is pulling his hair out to see how much info Kaeya's spilling to you during your shifts, half of which are just boasting about the Knights of Favonius.
When you nicked your finger, though, you knew things were going down. It didn't help that Kaeya noticed. His eyes widen for a fraction, before he stands up and suggests that you both should take a walk around the streets of Mondstadt when your shift was done.
You agree, seeing as there's no way out of this, and quickly grab a bandaid to patch up the scratch. Once you were both out, Kaeya speaks first, in a low tone.
"My...I never knew the Almighty Creator could be this sneaky, to have an imposter sit on the throne while they serve cups at my favorite tavern." You look at him incredulously. He took the situation to praise you to make himself sound like he was blessed?
Good sir, this was the opposite of how your life got thrown upside down when you entered Teyvat. Then again, this sounded a lot better than getting killed, so you'll take it as a win. For now.
Kaeya promises to keep this a secret, but safe to say Diluc is rubbing his temples when he hears the Calvary Captain himself trying to offer you a position in the Knights of Favonius, saying you had potential and whatnot.
Honestly, he just wants to spend more time with you outside of the tavern.
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Ghost Rebel Side Notes: Why the heck did this take SO MUCH LONGER than I expected sobbing. Sorry y'all—istg life is hitting me like Truck-Kun.
Also one more thing: Furina is my new child now. She and Fremmi are my Fontantian Children. Love 'em both too much ppl will have to pry them out of my cold-dead hands.
✦ Check out The Ghost Rebel’s Blog Description & Info Page to See if Their Mailbox is Open! ✦
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xiaours · 20 days
Note
hi! can I request genshin men realizing that their s/o isn't eating (or either being fed by their boss or whatever), and losing their initial cheerfulness bcs of it? thank you in advance!
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'WHY AREN'T YOU EATING?'
— genshin men being concerned when they find out you haven't been eating
pairing. genshin men x gn!reader (seperate)
cw. comfort, words of admiration, pet names, mentions of fat shaming/not eating, overthinking
note. you are all perfect the way you are ! don't let anyone tell you otherwise <3
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You sat there, picking at your food. You and your boyfriend were out at dinner, his idea. Since the two of you couldn't spend much time together due to the duties he had to fulfill. You were glad that he took you out, but brought to guilt once you realized he was taking you out to a restaurant. You continued to pick at your food, which he had noticed, giving you a curious eye.
"[name]? Is there something on your mind..?"
You looked up, meeting his gaze. "Mhm, just a bit stressed lately.."
You shifted in your seat as he continued to look at you. He has set down his silverware, neglecting this dinner as he pulled his attention to you. "Is there a reason why?"
"Work. My boss. They said.. some things."
"Mm. What 'things'?"
He knew your work field. You worked hard for your job, an admirable person to say the least. He had never expected you to be too stressed by how well you dealt with changes.
He picked up the fact that you were uncomfortable. He let out a small sigh, "What did they say, [name]."
"They made fun of how I looked, following my weight.. saying that I shouldn't eat as much as I am now." You felt sick to your stomach remembering their exact words. Insulting you, and you couldn't stop it. You didn't want to get fired.
You picked at your nails. He looked at you, his eyes softening at your state. He reached his arm out, grabbing your hand.
"You're perfect the way you are, [name]. I didn't fall in love with your looks, I fell in love with your personality. And it hurts to see you stressed over someone's words."
"Eat as much as you like. Don't listen to other's unneeded words."
You smile, he has always made you feel better mentally. You give him a nod. "Alright, thank you."
"Of course, my love. Now eat, it's your favorite."
He would deal with your boss sooner or later, but at this moment, he wanted to be there for you.
— neuvillette, ayato, kazuha, zhongli, diluc, cyno, albedo + your favs
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It was a movie night, one that you have every Saturday night. Your boyfriend has made some popcorn and sat down with you as you both picked a movie. Throughout the movie, he noticed that you hadn't eaten any of the snacks that were currently displayed on the coffee table in front of the two of you.
He wouldn't think anything odd about this, but it also seemed like you weren't present, mentally. You looked spaced out. He reached for the remote, pausing the movie.
"[name], something on your mind?"
You spanned out of your thoughts, shifting into a more comfortable position, and looking at him swiftly before looking back at the television. "Yeah, I'm fine."
He sighed, "Don't lie to me, something is bothering you. Is it the movie?"
"No, no. It's just.."
He looked at you, setting the popcorn down on the table as he moved his body in your direction. "Did someone do something to you, I'll get rid of them."
"Babe. I'm just overthinking, it happens all the time, let's just watch the movie."
"I'm not unpausing it until you tell me what's going on. You can talk to me."
You took a swallow, "My friends, y'know. The ones that I hung out with last weekend."
He crossed his arms. So it was your friends? He didn't seem to like them very much. They seemed rude and fake, and maybe he was right.
"They made fun of me about how I looked, my weight exactly. They told me how it was practically impossible that I'd be dating you without bribing you with money." He was shocked, to say the least. How could they say such a thing?
"Listen hear, don't listen to what they have to say. I love you. Looks aside. You're a wonderful person and you make me happy. If they don't know a great person when they see one, stop being friends with them." His hands met yours, holding them softly.
"Thank you." You looked down, smiling. "Can we continue to watch the movie?"
"Of course." He had unpaused the movie. Pulling you closer to him as the two of you proceeded to eat the snacks.
And for your friends, they'd be dealt with.
— kaveh, childe, heizou, thoma, wanderer, wriothesley + your favs
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© xiaours. do not repost, copy, translate, modify
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eraenaa · 8 days
Text
I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)
Inspired by the song "I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)" by Taylor Swift
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Rafe Cameron x Reader
Summary: Trust me, I can handle me a dangerous man.
Warnings: Substance Use, Possessiveness, Jealousy, ¿Kinda Toxic Relationship?, Mention of Violence, Mature, 18+, P in V Sex, Shower Sex, Oral Sex (F & M receiving), Fingering, Choking, Boobjob, Filmed Sexual Relations, Not Proofread 
Word Count: 2,372
A/N: Sorry for being MIA finals week was rough and I was kinda burnout hence the almost month long hiatus but Taylor's new album revived me, so maybe expect more works inspired by TTPD songs!
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You sat quietly as Rafe rested his warm hand on your thigh. You waited for him to finish his drink as he laughed around with his boys at the bar. Their voice echoed through the establishment, garnering curious glances from the other patrons present. You feel him squeeze your thigh tighter, his little signal that he wanted some affection, maybe a kiss or a touch from you. He turned to you, pupils enlarged from the little pill he took, “Are you bored?” He asked, and you quickly shook your head, placing your hand on the back of his head, and ran your nails gently against his skull. “No, baby,” You murmured and moved to kiss his lips, tasting the brandy on his tongue. Rafe parted from your kiss, looking intently into your eyes to see off you lied; he seemed satisfied enough and returned to his conversations with his friends. 
You hear the offensive joke that Rafe said a bit too loudly and held your breath. Placing your hand on his shoulder, hoping it would snap some sense into him, it usually did. You feel pitying and feared glances pointed towards you. The bartender to your left shook their head and muttered, “God help her,” when they realized you were with Rafe. A man who was notorious for his rage and ill temper. He was often perceived as rash and maybe even psychotic. Perhaps their judgment of him was true… but that is what attracted you to him anyway. You could not help but be intrigued by him and his imposing and reckless demeanor. You were certain you could tame him. You said to yourself, “I can fix him; no, really, I can.” 
He drove the both of you home. A bit of a misjudgment on your part, seeing how intoxicated he was, but there was something thrilling about him taking the reigns while still addled with dopamine and alcohol. There was something seductive in the way his hand would trail upward and upward on your thigh as he raced down the streets of the Outer Banks. But there was something different this night. There was tension in him that did not come from the lust you and him were succumbing to. “What’s wrong?” You asked, taking hold of his arm, caressing it in a way that made gooseflesh rise on his flesh. You bit your lip as his hold on you was tighter; you were certain it would once again leave his mark. “Everyone in that bar was looking at you… they were looking at what’s mine.” He snarled and pressed flat on the gas, making you speed down the streets so carelessly, but you could not find care as that elicited a wave of want in you. “They were only looking…” You trailed, testing to see what reaction it would garner from Rafe. 
You watch him shake his head, his jaw clenching in annoyance. “They were looking at what’s mine. They were practically undressing you with their eyes— imagining stealing you from me,” He gritted as you were nearing home. You voiced your disagreement, but that only seemed to enrage him more. “You enjoyed it, didn’t you, huh? You fucking enjoyed their attention.” Rafe accused, and your eyes darkened at his words. Just as the rage in him burned quickly, it died in a snap. You removed his hold on your thigh and stole away your touch on his arm. You did not wait for him to open the door of the passenger seat for you but instead got out of the confined space you were trapped in and left him. “Baby, wait, I—“ Rafe called, any irritation in his voice gone the moment he realized he had offended you. 
You were nearing your bedroom door, ready to lock him out for the night and repent for his offense, but he caged you in his arms, pulling you close to him. Burying his head at the side of your neck, he offered his apologies. “I’m sorry baby… I just don’t wanna lose you,” You hear his muffled boys. Smirking to yourself as you actually got an apology from him. From all the stories you heard of Rafe, ranging from his family to his friends and even his past flings, not one of them got an apology or anything that resembled half of it from him. But here he was, saying sorry over and over again, waiting for your reply. You kept silent for a while longer, and you felt him move over to the front of you, trying to kiss your lips, but you moved your head to the side. You bit your lip as you hear him puff, surprised by his following action. You watched Rafe sink down on his knees and hold you tightly against him, burying his face in your abdomen, his apologies spewing out from his mouth as if you were a god to whom he offered his prayers, pleading to be heard. You sighed and ran your hand through his hair, hearing him soothingly hum and burrow his head deeper into your abdomen.  
You were about to urge him to stand, but you were rendered frozen, and your breathing hitch when you feel his fingers take hold of your dress, hiking it higher. “Rafe,” you called as his lips trailed kisses on your exposed skin, his breath teasing your core that had already been aching for him. “I’m sorry,” He said once more, and you could only sigh as he placed a kiss between your thighs. You held tightly onto him as he lapped your folds, showing you just how sorry he was. “Rafe… Fuck, Rafe,” you called as he inserted a finger, but you were already on the verge of an orgasm by just the way his nose burrowed into your nubbin. “Do you forgive me, my baby?” Rafe asked, and you could only moan out your agreement and hear him hiss as you pulled on his hair and came down hard on his fingers and face. 
You hummed as you woke the next day with Rafe tracing hearts on your face; he had been watching you sleep. You gazed at him through the hazy sight of the fresh morning, “You look so pretty when you sleep,” Rafe said softly, and you smiled up at him. Gone in his system were the substances that were his ruin, but he could not deny. You quite liked him in this state, but you knew he would rather have his mood be altered by opioids and any other drugs that he believed would aid him. It won’t. And you just need to change that outlook of his or at least find another drug that would not be his ruin. 
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“You’re mine,” Rafe gritted in your ear, his arms wrapped tightly around you as he realized every bastard at the party was staring at you. “I’m yours,” You repeated to calm the rage in him. He did not consume anything harsh or damnable per your request, but you were starting to rethink your decision because apparently Rafe, without his usual pick me up, was rather more paranoid and frantic. Every little interaction you have with the opposite sex pushes him closer over the edge. “Rafe,” you sighed as he stepped away, challenging a guy whose gaze had been flying to you the whole night. “The fuck you staring at, huh! Do you want a fucking fight, bro?! Stop staring at my gi—“ Rafe screamed, and you pulled at him with all of your might for him to face you and save the innocent man from being beaten up to a pulp. You turn to Rafe’s friends, urging them to help, them being the able-bodied ones to escort Rafe outside to calm down. 
You stood before him as he sat by the ledge of a planter box. His head was in his hands as he tried to calm his ragged breathing. You stood silently as he took out a box of cigarettes and hastily lit a stick. “Stop looking at me like that,” Rafe spat, and you furrowed your brows at his words. “Like what?” You asked, and Rafe shook his head and took a long drag of a cigarette. “Like you’re disappointed! I know that look all too well,” He scoffed, and you took in a deep breath, stepping closer to him. Squatting down to meet him at eye level, placing a kiss on his cheek, and your hand found home at the back of his head again, running your fingers through his hair, noting how he would lean into your touch. “I’m not disappointed,” you say in earnest, but Rafe scoffs at your words. “You are. Don’t lie to me.” He gritted and threw the bud of his cigaret onto the ground, the glowing embers slowly dying down like the rage in him. 
“I never lie to you,” You say softly, placing your hold on the side of his face. “I’m yours, Rafe,” you say softly. “You’re mine.” He answered back. “Exactly. Then why are you trying to fight those others who are completely insignificant to us?” You ask softly, brushing your thumb across his brow, watching as his eyes fluttered close and a sigh left his lips. “Because I know what they want. I know they want what’s mine.” He gritted, tensing in anger once more, his fists clenching and warning danger. “But they won’t get to have it, won’t they?” You asked and stared deeply into his ocean eyes as they opened once more. “No. Never.” He swore, and you smiled, placing a kiss on his lips. 
Kissing you was the greatest high Rafe felt. The high he now realized was the only one he’d want to chase. Nothing chemically and artificially induced could compare to your lips. “Let’s go back inside,” Rafe said after your kiss had sedated his rage. “On one condition,” You said and stood your ground as he tried to pull you back into the direction of the party. You pulled him to you, flushing your bodies, and returned your hand to caress his troubled head. “No more invoking fights? Stop glaring at those guys?” You asked and watched as he frowned at your words. “I… I can probably do no more fighting— but baby, come on, they keep staring at you and—“ You shook your head and interrupted him. 
“Be a good boy tonight, and later… I’ll do what you’ve been asking me to do since last month,” You hindered your grin as you watched Rafe’s jaw turn slack, his eyes now intoxicated and dilated with the thought of you. “What do you say?” You asked, batting your lashes at him, trailing your fingers against his forearm, your eyes already catching a glance of the dent in his trousers. “I’ll be a fucking angel if you want.” He almost growled. And you let him usher you back to a party with a smile beaming on your face. 
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Rafe kept true to his word. There was practically a halo around his head for the rest of the night. Foregoing his pilled and powdered remedies, even tossed out the intoxicating liquid in his glass. You thought miracles never happened, but Rafe even let you join your friends on the dance floor without him. You saw as he reigned in the hellish thoughts in him as men around danced by your side. Instead, he stood still in his spot, his mind on the thought of heaven you’ll present him if he played nice. 
You, too, kept true to your words. You were on your knees, your hands pushing your tits together, and in between them was Rafe’s cock. A video camera by your side as Rafe had been begging you almost everyday for a home video together. Reasoning that ‘it would be a reminder of you when you are away.’ And the thought of you is the only thing that gets him on. “Fuck, baby— god, you’re so good. How are you this good?” Rafe groaned as you fucked him with your tits. It was the best reward for him, you rarely gave him head, and this was the first time you ever fucked anyone this way. Rafe fisted the sheets as you wrapped your lips around the tip of his cock again. He moaned out your name as you took him deeper into your mouth, the sound of you gagging on his cock spurring him on. But before he could come, before he could reach a different and higher level of high he always sought, you pulled away. 
“Baby… oh, baby, please, you can’t do this to me,” he almost begged, his eyes in a daze at the sight of you messy from sucking his cock. You crawled upwards and hung from his lips, him already expecting a kiss. “Fuck me in the shower,” Was all you said before you hastily dispread to the bathroom and turned the faucet on. It took a few moments for Rafe to process your words, but once he did. He quickly stood, took the camera, and positioned it to point toward you, who was already soaking wet. 
Rafe was quick to push you against the glass shower door, already excited to watch the video of you and your tits against the glass. “Yes… oh, god, like that,” You cried as Rafe mercilessly pounded behind you. He gathered your hair and gripped it back, eliciting a burning yet pleasurable sensation. “You’re always so prim and proper… but looked at you, you fuck like a whore,” Rafe gritted, and your eyes rolled back as he positioned his thrust to hit the spot that made your words incoherent. “You like that, huh, baby? You like it when I fuck you, dumb?” He asked, not expecting a reply but rather your moans. Rafe relinquished his hold on your hair and instead gripped your throat. Pounding harder into you as he felt you clench tighter around him, your body shaking and on the precipice of orgasm. “Mine. Mine, mine, mine.” Rafe gritted out as he, too, was close. “Yours. All yours, Rafe.” You cried as you came around him. Panting his name as he clung in the high that was you. 
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I screamed when I first listened to the song that inspired this fic, bc Rafe was the most prominent thing that it conjured in my mind.
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teamatsumu · 2 months
Text
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kept me waiting. (suna rintarou x reader)
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summary: for six years, you have loved no other alpha except suna.
word count: 3397
warnings: a/b/o dynamics, alpha!suna, omega!fem!reader, some angst, smut, typical omegaverse jargon (mating, knotting, scent, slick), oral (fem receiving)
tags: @keiva1000 @kindnessspreads @msbyomimi @sleepyxxhead @priv-rose
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There’s only so long you could have waited.
At 16 years old, you were a budding omega. You had presented recently and were trying to adjust to the changes that came with your secondary gender. You were curious about yourself, and about others as well. In your uncertain new beginning, you met Suna Rintaro.
He had presented as an Alpha about a year ago, and he was more comfortable in his skin than you were. He was brooding and slightly lazy, but endlessly perceptive. Clever. And he smelled to you like a garden you wanted to lay in, surrounded by grass and flowers. He brought you comfort. And your novice omega heart fell in love with him.
The kettle whistled, indicating that your water was ready for a cozy cup of tea. You pour it into a cup, grab your muffin and your tea before settling on the couch. It was evening time and the TV was on, loud cheering emitting from its speakers. You placed your blanket over your lap and then rested your plate on it, finally turning your attention to the screen and the live game that was about to start. You had never once missed a game of Suna’s, after all.
Almost 7 years since you had first met the boy, and to this day, you heart yearned for him. He was your best friend, your most personal confidant. The love of your life, though that fact was not known by him. Your Omega had attached herself to him explicitly, vowed to love him forever, and despite him not returning your feelings, you hung on to the tiniest, withering hope that somehow, things between you two would work out.
The game was an exhilarating one, and in the end, EJP Raijins came out of it victorious. You watched the team celebrate on screen, grinning wide and cheering them on silently. When the camera panned to Suna, your heart squeezed. You shot him a quick congratulations text, asking him how he wanted to celebrate. Suna had informed you beforehand that he would be crashing at yours after the game, since you lived so close to the venue. You had enthusiastically agreed, of course. Any excuse to spend more time with him.
Half an hour later, your phone pinged with a reply from him.
‘Will be back late, sorry.. dont wait up’
You pursed your lips in disappointment before sighing loudly and resigning to an early night. It was fine, you were tired from work anyway, so getting extra sleep will be good. But spending some time with Suna….
He had been so busy lately, with rigorous practices leading up to the beginning of this season. You hadn’t seen him in weeks, and you didn’t enjoy that fact, nor did your omega. You missed him terribly. You swallowed down your sadness and trudged into bed. It was a familiar feeling when it came to Suna. The yearning and the realization that he wasn’t yours.
When you woke up the next morning, the sun was high in the sky and filtering through your closed curtains. You groaned and cursed softly, not expecting to sleep in so late. Your mood only lightened when you walked into the kitchen and found Suna sitting on the island, scrolling through his phone over a steaming cup of tea. His hair was messy and unkempt, indicating that he just woke up, but the sight of him had your face lifting with a smile.
“Rin!” You greeted, clearing your throat when you heard how hoarse your voice was. “Congratulations on the game!”
“Hey,” His smile made your heart squeeze. “Sorry, did I wake you last night?”
You blinked in confusion. “No?”
“Oh.” He chuckled and ran his hand through his hair. “Good, good.”
You eyed him for a moment, trying to gauge what he meant. You walked toward the kettle that was still going, planning on pouring some of it for yourself too. As you moved past the man, a scent hit your nose and your body stiffened.
Omega.
There was no doubt in your head. It was an omega scent, wafting off Suna in waves and mixing intimately with his own wonderful scent. You froze behind him, nose twitching when you took another deep breath and identified the scent even more distinctly. You didn’t recognize it, but you knew it was omega. And the way it was coming off Suna, focused so closely on his scent glands meant only one thing.
“Why’d you get here so late, Rin?” There was a little tremble in your voice.
Suna didn’t seem to notice, scrolling idly through his phone, distracted. He hummed a bit in question before replying.
“Drinking with the guys.” He drawled.
And then? You didn’t ask. It wasn’t your place. You loved foolishly believing that Suna was your Alpha but he wasn’t. And you couldn’t exactly tell him to not see any omega when you didn’t have any claim on him either. Silently, you left the kitchen, hoping he wouldn’t call after you, walking into your room and closing the door. You leaned your forehead against the warm wood and closed your eyes.
Stupid. Stupid. What right did you have to feel the way you did? Suna wasn’t yours. He could be with anyone he pleased. He could sleep with other omegas. Scent them. Court them. Knot them. Your throat tightened.
So then why did you feel like a wounded animal? Why was your omega whining like she had lost her mate and not some random alpha she had unfairly been obsessed with for so long? In moments like this, you hated your secondary gender. You hated your omega. You hated that you were so in love with Suna that this felt like cheating to you.
However, your hurt was exclusively your own, and you couldn’t project it onto anyone else. Suna was here now, and even though the sight of him made you weep, you still found joy in being around him. You would spend the day with him, and get the closure you needed. Then you would lick your wounds and move on. You had waited long enough.
So that’s what you did. And here you were now, a week later, sitting across from an Alpha you had met just today, listening to him talk about his job and his hobbies while you smiled and nodded. There was an almost bitter undertone to your feelings. Over the days, your sadness had transformed into anger. It was unjustified and not really something Suna deserved, but you still directed it at him. Because he had ruined you for anyone else.
The Alpha before you was a perfect gentleman. He was a friend of your friend’s, and everything she had told you about him was true. He was kind, well spoken, good looking. He knew how to carry a conversation, since he was doing most of the talking while you rolled around in your own head.
But he wasn’t witty. He wasn’t quick and sly. He didn’t have a thin, cutting smirk and narrow green eyes that pierced through you. He didn’t smell like freshly cut grass and cool, open air.
He wasn’t Suna.
After the date, he walked you to the train station, where you claimed you would get on the train home. He gave you a respectful hug and smiled kindly when you said you would call (you wouldn’t call). Then, when he mixed in with the crowd and disappeared, you turned around and walked straight out, beginning to trudge on foot to your home.
Your thoughts were all over the place, your eyes were lined with unshed tears, your breath felt like it was trapped in your lungs. You didn’t comprehend the stupidity behind walking all the way home, and how it would take hours. Your friend texted you, asking about the date. You didn’t reply. Instead, you tapped on that one cursed name that you couldn’t wipe from your mind and sent only two words.
Fuck you.
It took you two and a half hours to walk home. It could have been quicker if you weren’t in heels. After about half an hour of walking in them, your feet began to hurt. You used the pain to distract yourself from the jumble of thoughts in your head, and by the time you got home, you didn’t even want to look down at them. You couldn’t imagine how bad they looked, if the tingling and shooting pains were any indication. It now traveled up your legs and to your lower back, aching all over. At some point, the air nipped cold at your cheeks, and you finally noticed that it was because of the tears that now ran down them.
When you unlocked the door and stepped inside the warmth of your apartment was the first time you seemed to be aware of your surroundings. You froze just inside the door when a large figure blocked the light, making you look up at a scowling Suna.
“Where the hell were you? I was calling like crazy!” His voice was louder than his usual register, and more emotional. You blinked a bit and sniffled. Your skin felt stiff because of the dried tears. Your feet still screamed.
“Why are you here?” Your voice was low.
“I’m-” Suna’s eyes traveled down, and they widened slightly at the sight of your feet.
“What did you- did you walk?”
You sighed and lumbered past him, ignoring the pleading protests of your feet to get the weight off them. You finally sat down on the couch, feeling no better. The pain was still there. You kept your focus acutely on it, trying not to look at the one man who was causing your misery. But he seemed adamant on making himself known, kneeling before you to help take off your shoes. You jerked your legs away. Suna looked up at you, shocked.
“Don’t touch me.” Your voice was cutting.
Something flashed in his eyes. “Let me help.”
“I don’t need your help. I don’t need you.”
Suna reached for your shoe strap again. “Don’t be stubborn, omega.”
You felt your blood boil and you finally raised your voice. “Don’t call me that!”
He eyed you for a moment. “What? Omega? Aren’t you one?”
“Suna-”
He glared at you. Glared. A withering look that almost made you shrink. But your emotions were too great. You grit your teeth and didn’t say anything. Didn’t address the fact that you had called him by his last name for the first time in six years.
Suna peeled your shoes off your feet as gently as he could. But it hurt regardless, and you hissed when they finally came off. He ran soothing hands over the tender, angry skin. You tried not to think about his touch, tried not to sink into the feeling. But your efforts only made tears gather in your lash line once more. You eyed his raven hair, his head bent low to look at your feet. He sat cross legged before you, laying light touches on the swollen parts of your feet.
“Why are you here?” You repeated.
“Well, when my best friend texted me a colorful ‘fuck you’ out of nowhere, then proceeded to ignore all my calls, I was understandably worried.”
You sighed and looked away just before he could meet your eyes. He continued. “You wanna tell me what that was about?”
You didn’t reply, pointedly looking away. You cursed at the moment of weakness that caused your lapse of judgment and made you text him. Him showing up was your own mistake.
He exhaled loudly, looking down at your feet that he was still gently massaging. “I didn’t sleep with anyone.”
Your head snapped to him in shock, eyes wide and mouth dropped open. Suna didn’t look up, but his lips twitched into a little smile.
“That’s why you’ve been acting so weird, right? For the last few days? You were pissed and sad that your Alpha slept with another omega.”
Your mind reeled, and you sat frozen as you tried but failed to absorb Suna’s words. Your alpha?
When he looked up, his lips were tilted in a crooked smile. “I wouldn’t do that to you, baby.”
Again, you lurched. You tried to pull your feet from his grasp, to stand up and get away from him, put any distance between you two. Maybe his scent was making you heady. Maybe you were hallucinating. He gripped at your leg, making sure you stayed put.
“You’re- I don’t know what you’re saying.” You rasped.
Suna chuckled before sighing a bit defeatedly. “I wanted to confess in a more romantic way than this but you started being all distant and shit. I can’t see you like this.”
You couldn’t believe it. You had so many questions and not enough answers for the predicament you were in. And Suna’s pretty forest eyes didn’t help keep your head straight either.
“You- what do you mean confess?”
Suna’s hand ran up your bare calf lightly, you felt goosebumps rise on your skin.
“What do you think it means?” He countered in classic Suna fashion. Answering your question with a question. “Telling you that I like you. Taking you out. Courting you. Mating you. The whole she-bang.”
For the hundredth time today, tears filled your eyes. “Rin….”
He watched you, eyes forlorn as you silently weeped. His hand still rubbed comfortingly over your legs. Up and down, slow motions. His touch grounded you.
“You made me wait-” You hiccuped. “-for so long.”
Suna continued eyeing you. He leaned forward to rest his head on your knee. “I thought you knew how much I liked you. I spend all my time with you. I scent your clothes, dammit. I thought you weren’t saying anything on purpose. That you wanted to come to me on your own terms.”
You smacked his shoulder hard. He didn’t even budge. “You are such an asshole.”
Suna chuckled a bit before turning his head and laying a kiss on the side of your knee. The skin tingled. He pulled away only a hair, and his breath hit your skin. A chill ran up your leg. Suna turned his head only slightly, his eyes meeting yours. Your heart skipped. Heat ran down your body, settling at the base of your stomach.
His lips skimmed over the bare skin of your knee. His left hand, placed on your right shin, traveled slowly up your leg until it dipped below the hem of your dress. Your breath caught in your throat. Your core grew damp. Suna’s gaze heated up, and his lip twitched with a tiny smirk.
“I can smell you.”
You bit your lip when his hand traveled up, up, until his skin was meeting delicate lace.
“So wet, omega.” He nipped at your leg. “And I haven’t even done anything. So good for your Alpha. So ready.”
His unoccupied hand hooked under your knee and tugged until your hips reached the edge of your couch, until you were laying back on it. Your eyes didn’t leave him. His words ran straight between your legs, making you clench hard. You bit your lip and looked at Suna with teary eyes.
“Rin.”
You had nothing else to say. Suna let out a breathy laugh and increased the pressure of his thumb on your slit. You gasped.
“Will you be good f’me?” His voice was octaves deeper. “Let me eat out your sweet little pussy?”
His crude language made you moan. Suna finally moved, lips going higher over your thigh until he bypassed your body completely and leaned up to connect his lips with yours. You grasped the sides of his face, kissing him back hard and deep. You poured every emotion into that one kiss, letting Suna lap over your lips hungrily. His scent enveloped you like a comforter, one hand pushing up the skirt of your dress while the other’s movements grew more urgent on your clothed pussy. You were slicking up rapidly. You could feel it run from your hole and down your ass until it landed on the couch. You couldn’t give less of a shit if you were dirtying the furniture. Your brain was rapidly turning into mush as your omega preened under Suna’s attention, his tongue invading your mouth like it was his own and he was only reclaiming it.
“Pretty baby.” He rasped into your mouth. “Good little omega. Get wetter for me. Need to drink all your juice.”
Your face felt like it was on fire, and you whined right against his lips. When he pulled away, you tried to chase after him, already addicted to the high that his lips brought. Suna hummed in amusement and tugged on your panties, pulling them off your ankles. He pressed the fabric directly to his nose and breathed deep. You watched him with half lidded eyes as you bit your lip to hell.
“You smell so fucking divine.” Suna groaned. “Always thought so. Loved cuddling up to you. Being close to you. My lovely omega.”
You moaned again, feeling how you gushed at his words. You didn’t realize you were into praise, but when it came from Suna, it lit a fire inside you. You clenched hard around nothing, now acutely aware of your rapidly building need.
“Rin,” you gasped. “Please. Please.”
“I’m here, baby. I’ve got you.” He shamelessly pried your legs open. You let him. “I’ll take such good care of my omega.”
His first lick was a thick stripe up your open slit, filthy and hungry, before he licked harder and faster over your clit. You gasped at the contact, the urgent relief of finally having stimulation you were craving so much. Your fingers automatically buried themselves in his soft hair, tugging tight at the roots. Suna hummed his approval and suctioned his lips on your clit, lapping and slurping like he was a man starved.
He was glorious at it, eating pussy like it was his last meal, hands holding your thighs apart firmly so his movements were unhindered. Stars burst in your vision and your hips jerked, not sure if you wanted to lean into him or tug away from how intense it was. Your torso undulated and arched, tears ran down the sides of your face and you moaned unencumbered. Suna seemed to enjoy it, because he pulled off with a wet smooch and replaced his lips with his thumb, not leaving you dry for one second.
“So fucking delicious.” His voice had gone scratchy and wrecked. “Good fucking girl. Moan for me, baby. God, I could do this forever.”
You felt something prod at your entrance before two fingers rapidly sank into you to the knuckle, curling hard and rubbing at your walls. You cried out again, not even embarrassed by how wet the noises became, how potent your scent was becoming, you badly you needed to cum on his fingers or you didn’t know what you would do-
His lips sealed over your clit and you were gone.
Suna didn’t even slow his movements as you reached your high. He helped prolong it, sucking harder and pushing his fingers in and out of you, scissoring and curling until your walls felt abused and used beyond belief. You wailed and weeped as you dug your fingers into the couch cushion under you. You had slid so far down the couch that it nearly bent you in half. You tried to close your legs and Suna finally pulled out, kissing over your mound a few times before he leaned up and attached his lips to the skin of your neck, licking and biting lightly over your scent gland, trying to embed his own scent into you. The feeling of him so close to that spot had your mind reeling. You hugged him close.
“Bite me.”
Suna kissed you again. “Not like this.”
“But I love you.”
He chuckled and sucked lightly on your skin until it darkened. “Still won’t mate you on a couch. When I do it, it’s going to be with your cunt full of my knot.”
You flushed and groaned in embarrassment, feeling the way your core pulsed again. Suna laughed and nuzzled your neck.
“Don’t worry. I have a lot of loving to give you before we get there.”
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wileys-russo · 7 months
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late night visits II k.mccabe x reader
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i think this is the longest fic i've written so far but as she deserves, katie is so lover girl coded and no one can convince me otherwise
late night visits II k.mccabe x reader 7.3K words
"katie!" the irishwoman glanced up with a squint, standing taller to try and see over the crowd of drunken bodies packing the bar. finally she spotted her friends jammed into a booth toward the back and pushed her way through toward them.
"jesus is there like a two for one special on drinks tonight or what?" katie huffed as she took the vacant seat beside leah, looking around at the hordes of patrons around them. the little restaurant and bar was hardly unknown, however it rarely got this busy.
"guess our little secret isn't so secret anymore." jen chuckled, sliding katie a rum and coke she'd ordered her earlier as the irishwoman sent her a grateful smile before necking it. "slow down katie! it's not a race." beth laughed with a shake of her head as the irishwoman grinned.
"almost every bar in manchester was like this it took like a half an hour to even be served!" alessia piped up, seated beside leah and across from jen. the small group of girls deciding at training earlier today they'd go out for a drink tonight since there wasn't a match this weekend.
the invitation had been extended to the whole team but a lot had plans to go and see partners or family in the short few days break.
"oh we don't have that issue here, do we katie?" jen teased with a smirk as the girl in question rolled her eyes. "i don't even know if she's workin jen, lay off!" she defended. :please like you haven't memorised her schedule by now." leah joined in with a chuckle.
"i feel like im missing some context here?" alessia piped up with a confused frown, not quite following along with the light hearted teasing.
"katies sleeping with one of the bar tenders." beth eagerly filled the younger blonde in as viv smacked her on the shoulder with a look of disapproval. "are you?" alessias curious gaze turned to katie who groaned.
"sometimes. it doesn't matter anyway its none of any of your businesses!" the brunette warned sternly, sending a particularly harsh look toward laura who couldn't seem to stop herself from laughing at the situation.
"wonderful. you can get the next round then!" leah grinned and gave her a shove almost sending the girl flying onto her ass out of the booth as katie shot leah a glare but nonetheless stood to her feet.
"russo you're coming with me, i need extra hands and you're the least annoying one present tonight." katie gestured toward the girl who scrambled quickly over leah.
"thank you…i think?" alessia frowned as katie slung an arm over her shoulder, tugging her away from the group who resumed their chatter. "so is she here?" the blonde asked looking around eagerly as they finally got to the bar.
"that one." katie gave in with a sigh, nudging alessia and pointing you out where you were busy making cocktails at the other end of the bar. "she's gorgeous." alessia stated with a nod of approval as katie couldn't help but chuckle, small talk made between the two as they waited for someone to come take their order.
someone who katie secretly hoped was you.
meanwhile you joked around around with a few regulars, making sure to maintain the bright smile on your face despite how much harder you were needing to work tonight, the growing frustration inside you that as per usual your boss had understaffed for a busy night to save money.
"well well, i thought i heard security talking about trouble brewing." you greeted the familiar irishwoman with a grin as you wiped your damp hands on your apron, katies own face curling into a smug smile as she shamelessly checked you out.
admittedly the brunette was somewhat of a weak spot for you, there was just something about her cheeky grin which oozed confidence, paired with that strong accent and effortless charm she made your knees buckle.
you wound up a messy of sweaty limbs tangled in one another's bedsheets far more often than you'd care to admit, reaching out to one another at all sorts of hours with all sorts of excuses for your late night visits.
it should have been a seemingly easy relationship, you used one another for whatever was needed without really holding any responsibilities for how the other felt.
the first time you'd slept together was a few months ago and you'd both agreed it was just a one time thing. merely a drunken fling as you and katie had shared a few drinks once you'd clocked off for the night, which inevitably ended in your sweaty bodies pressed up together in her bed a couple of hours later.
yet months later and here she still was, looking you up and down with a hungry glint in her eyes probably imagining the lustful activities she hoped would be happening later on.
there was just one small problem to all of this, which was that you secretly wanted more. you wanted her in a way where it didn't feel transactional, where you weren't just a late night thought but rather could be someone meaningful to her.
but you knew that wasn't on the cards for katie and so you'd convinced yourself into a firm state of delusion where it didn't hurt to continue on like nothing had changed and you didn't secretly hope for more.
your friends had begged you end it, seeing how much it knocked your normally confident persona down, playing on your self esteem and picking at insecurities you didn't even know were there as you couldn't help but wonder why she only wanted to keep it casual if it was such a seemingly common occurence.
you couldn't quite say when things had started to shift,. as at first you were more than satisfied with just being friends with benefits, barely meeting the friends part since you hardly knew anything about one another.
maybe that's what had made it easier in the early stages, that lack of knowledge and impersonal connection. you didn't know anything about football nor did you care to change that, so of course to you she was just a girl, not some big celebrity superstar athlete.
thats not to say she didn't show her athletic prowess in other ways, the irishwoman had the best stamina you'd ever seen and could go for hours without even needing a water break.
and when the relationship was only transactional, impersonal and occasional, you were fine with it.
but lately, lately things had been different. and it had all started a couple of weeks ago.
once the two of you had finished for the night, katie had stuck around. she begun to ask questions, about you, your work, your family, and to your shock seemed actually interested in the answers.
she hadn't stayed the night, only for a couple of hours and a cup of tea but it was out of the ordinary behavior from your usual arrangement. though you'd tried not to dwell on it too much, knowing that overthinking it was dangerous.
but then it had happened again the next time, and again the time after that. katie once more asking you question after question, and if she wasn't doing that she was telling you the more intimate details of her life and her family, or debriefing about a particularly hard training session or her concerns for an upcoming match.
without even realising it she'd kicked down your walls and she'd done the worst possible thing in a friends with benefits situation, she'd begun to accidentally indulge you into what it could be like if the two of you were more.
~
"we're completely out of bacardi and we're running low on jager." nathan, one of your coworkers, popped up beside you as you bent down to grab a cider for a customer from the fridges under the bar.
now counting down until the end of your shift, you were endlessly grateful you weren't on close tonight. though things had begun to die down, the more rowdier of patrons beginning to be moved on by security, you knew there would be some that lingered long into the night.
"there's more downstairs, i'll go stock up before i finish so you don't need to worry about it. can you handle this for awhile?" you offered, the boy sighing in relief and nodding with an appreciative smile.
you untied your apron and tossed it under the counter, jumping over the small gate at the end of the bar and ducking around the corner where only staff were allowed.
busying yourself quickly checking your phone you hadn't noticed someone follow, someone whose eyes had been trained to you most of the night, who'd been relentlessly teased by her friends for exactly that.
"scuse me but has anyone ever told you your bum looks quite peachy in those shorts?" your eyes flickered up from your screen as the brunette grinned cheekily, taking a few steps toward you as you shook your head and slipped your phone into your pocket.
"just drunken creeps who i've had kicked out right afterwards." you smiled, katies hands finding their way to your hips as she gently pressed you into the wall, blue eyes twinkling mischievously.
"send them my way next time, i'll be sure to teach em some manners about how to treat a pretty girl." katies smile widened as her eyes flickered down toward your lips.
"i'm still on the clock here mccabe." you chuckled, pushing her off gently as you knew what would happen next if you didn't. "well then when do you get off?" she asked, pressing her body back into yours as you shook your head.
"in an hour." you revealed watching her lips curl into a smirk. "then i'll meet you out back by your car." the older girl spoke suggestively, face so close to yours you could feel the warm tickle of her breath against your lips but then just like that she was gone, striding off back into the public area seeking out her friends.
with a sigh and a shake of your head you straightened up, banishing the lust which clouded your mind and hurrying off downstairs to the dry store.
~
of course katie wound up in your bed that night, a chorus of moans of plesure and lips smacking together in sloppy kisses, crisp linen gripped in white knuckled fists with sweaty limbs tangled.
this was then once again followed by a cup of tea and soft conversations about your childhood pets, quite the contrast from your previous activites.
then things only became stranger that next morning.
sundays were always your day off so you'd never have alarms set, allowing your body to wake you up whenever it was ready, purposefully never setting up any plans or commitments you needed to arise early for.
so when your eyes fluttered open around eleven in the morning, your room still quite dark due to an overcast and cloudy day, nothing seemed out of sorts.
it wasn't until you shifted tiredly that you felt someone move beside you. your body was instantly jolted awake, and that's when you became aware of the warm arm draped lazily over your naked midsection, an arm that was not yours.
with a sharp intake of breath you slowly turned your head to the side, seeing a mop of brunette hair sprawled across the pillows, duvet only partially covering her half naked form, tanned back moving up and down as she slept soundly with her face smushed into the mattress, and your eyes widened at the sudden realisation that katie had slept over.
she never slept over, even spending a few hours chatting your ear off with a cup of tea she'd never stayed afterwards. you weren't sure if she could hear but your hate rate began to thunder in your ears, thumping like horses hooves against a track as your cheeks flushed scarlet red.
"i can feel your eyes burning a hole into the side of my head ya know." the irishwoman finally spoke, accent somehow thicker in her half awake state as she gently pushed herself up and flopped onto her side with a tired sigh.
your skin burned where her arm had been as she retracted it, running a hand through her hair and flicking it to one side of her head, blinking tiredly with a stretch as your eyes did their best not to fall directly down to her bare chest.
"you can look you know, certainly did last night." she grinned, immediately noticing your internal struggle as her own blue eyes shamelessly roamed your naked body with a hungry glint before you tucked yourself more into the duvet making her chuckle.
"you stayed over." was all you could manage to spit out, raising an eyebrow in surprise. "with observations like that you could give up bar tending for some detective work." katie smiled teasingly as you rolled over and grabbed your top off the floor.
slipping it over your head to somewhat cover up you tossed katie's at hers, the material smacking her in the face as you sat up, snatching your underwear off the floor and wiggling quickly into it.
"you've never stayed over." you made your point a little firmer, slipping out of the bed as katie now sat up, tugging her own shirt on.
"well we were talking in bed and i guess we both fell asleep." the irishwoman shrugged casually, grabbing her suit pants off the floor and slipping into them, buttoning them as she stood. you only hummed not really believing her as the action was so out of character, but you were too tired to argue as you tied your hair up into a messy bun.
"you should come to the game today, there's still tickets." katie spoke up again, sat on the end of the bed as she laced up her shoes. you choking on your own spit at the shock from her statement, the girl glancing over her shoulder with an amused smile before turning back round, not mentioning anything more than that.
you walked her to the front door wordlessly, cogs going into overdrive in your mind, almost in shock katie couldn't hear how loud your overthinking was right now.
"catch you later maybe kid." katie winked charmingly, pressing a kiss to your cheek and stepping out the front door. striding down your driveway without a single look back she slipped into an uber as you touched your cheek and slowly closed your front door.
oh you were down bad, and maybe it was time you started dealing with it.
~
and that exact thought was how you found yourself huddled among a small group of your friends, rain drizzling down on your head and body tucked into itself trying to utilise your body heat to warm up.
your friend mathew was doing his very best to keep you interested, explaining every little rule and tactic that he could as the match dragged on, desperate to try and up your enthusiasm of what was apparently a fantastic game being played.
the poor boy raised a die hard arsenal fan was over the moon when you'd loosely mentioned attending as the two of you caught up for brunch. within five minutes he'd somehow conjured you up a ticket, forced you into a jersey, talked your ear off the entire car ride and here you were.
you'd chosen not to mention that the girl you were so hung up who was in your bed at least twice a week nowadays was the katie mccabe, you'd not told any of your friends her actual name only referring to her as 'bar girl', and so the only ones who could have put two and two together were maybe your coworkers.
though all of you were generally so run off your feet most nights they hardly batted an eyelid into your personal life, too focused on making it home to their own beds rather than being hung up on who was sneaking into yours.
"oh they're doing a lap! come on i wanna get my shirt signed by viv if i can she's one of the only ones im missing." mathew eagerly grabbed your hand, practically yanking you out of your chair and away from the rest of your friends who you hastily waved goodbye to.
"you know if i just gave you my jersey one time-" "no matty, the answer will always be a no." you chuckled, despite not knowing of your late night visitors identity the boy did know the arsenal girls frequented your workplace, and he was forever pestering you about having them sign something
you'd held firm with a no, and would continue to.
one of the main reasons the girls continued to come back was that you all made sure to treat them like actual people, and despite being more than household names your regulars tended to leave them be most of the time as well, most of the time.
you hung by yourself away from the main crowd eagerly chatting to the players, leaning against the barrier and busying yourself organizing to cover a few vacant shifts next week.
trying to save to upgrade your car you would take any extra money you could get at the moment, now only a few thousand away from your goal.
"want me to sign that for ya?" your head lifted at the familiar accent, meeting her mischievous blue eyes as she gave you an alluringly cheeky smile.
"no thanks i'm waiting for a starter, not a bench warmer." you quipped back, slipping your phone into your pocket as katie feigned offence.
"how about a goal scorer then?" the brunette moved a little closer, leaning on the barrier with her hands as your eyes drifted down to her well toned arms before flickering back upwards, which didn't go unnoticed by the irishwoman.
"oh did you score? didn't see." you brushed it off with a shrug, katie opening her mouth to speak but falling silent as mathew appeared back by your side, slinging an arm over your shoulder.
at the sight katies stomach flipped a little and her jaw clenched, she watched the boys mouth move, words clearly directed toward her as she only hummed and sent him a polite smile, barely listening.
"well well well, look who it is. our favourite bartender!" the brunette snapped back out of it as jen appeared by her side with a smirk, closely followed by beth. "i thought you weren't a football fan." beth teased, and katie watched as you gestured to the boy beside you, blaming him for your attendance.
you picked up on katies lack of joining into the conversation, trying to catch her attention again but eventually having to excuse yourself and mathew as you had dinner plans. "oo a hot date is it?" beth teased, shooting katie a subtle side eye, the blonde also picking up on her lack of effort to join in.
"every sunday! she loves me for my roast dinners." mathew grinned, pressing a sloppy kiss to your cheek as you gagged sarcastically and pushed his face away.
"see you round then." you smiled, directing the comment more toward katie than anyone else, frowning a little as she blanked you and walked off without so much as a glance your way.
~
you didn't see or hear from katie for the next few days, which wasn't all that abnormal seeing as since the two of you were just casually sleeping around you hardly had a regular routine of meet ups.
however when you did finally see her again it wasn't under circumstances you expected.
you were covering the closing shift for nathan tonight as it was his 30th birthday. the seemingly quiet Wednesday not one of your normal rostered days it seemed to be a running joke among the regulars present.
yet no matter how many times you heard the same one liner you still faked a laugh and a grin, watching the tip jar fill up gradually as you did so with a satisfied smile.
given it wasn't all that busy you found yourself people watching in the odd pockets of free time which fell your way, a habit which was easily one of your favorite perks of the job. yourself and your coworkers often busied yourself dreaming up extravagant imaginary lives for the drunken strangers occupying the bar.
but that was how you spotted her, tucked away in a table toward the back and not by herself, an unfamilar blonde sat beside her and the two seemed quite cosy. you watched with a frown as katie mucked about with the blonde, kissing her on the cheek as the girl shoved her away with a grin.
you couldn't but feel as though you'd been punched in the stomach as you wrenched your eyes away, plastering a fake smile on your face and hurrying off to serve a patron.
thankfully you managed to avoid interacting with the irishwoman for the most part, katie too busy entertaining her date as the blonde came up a few times to grab them both drinks, and by some miracle she'd been served by someone else each time.
though of course that luck didn't last.
as the bar began to empty you busied yourself starting to pack down and clean glasses. but you watched on hopelessly as katie made her way over and with your coworker for the night already occupied with other patrons you knew you'd have no way of avoiding her.
"hey." was all the brunette said with a smile that you returned, handing her a rum and a coke like she always ordered and waiting for if she wanted anything else. "oh nah just a water for me i'm drivin, and a glass of house red please." you nodded and wordlessly prepared her drinks.
"just 8.40." you placed the eftpos machine up on the counter as katie tapped her card and hearing the beep you turned back to what you were doing. "hey, can i see you later?" you glanced up realizing she hadn't left yet, lingering at the counter with her drinks in hand and a hopeful look in her eyes.
"i'm on close tonight." you shook your head and katie frowned, unsure why you seemed so upset with her. "i just wanted to-" the brunette started but you cut her off with a scoff, in disbelief she was really trying to come onto you while out with another woman.
casual or not you had higher standards for yourself than that, and maybe your friends were right and it was time you started to treat yourself with a little more kindness.
"i'm working katie, just leave me alone." and with that you ducked out back before the irishwoman could even say another word, stunned at the somewhat aggressive tone which still lingered in the air after your abrupt exit.
~
since the frosty encounter katie had tried to call and message you but with no response and left on read she'd taken the hint and had backed off.
she'd still been around with her team mates over the weekend for dinner in the restaurant but didn't dare come to order a drink at the bar since you were on shift.
most of the girls gave up questioning her about what had happened, noticing that something had shifted between the two of you, and with a stern warning from the irishwoman hadn't dared to ask you about it either.
but ever persistent and hating to see the obvious discontent hidden behind her friends eyes that the others missed, leah continued to press her for an answer.
"oh for fuck sakes cause she's got a boyfriend leah!" katie eventually snapped and gave in as the blonde had once more cornered her for an interrogation. "what! are you sure? since when?" leah frowned, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning against the wall.
"i dunno! i met him at that game she came to, he's not even a good lookin fella." katie huffed with a roll of her eyes, sitting down at her locker and beginning to take off her boots. "i thought that she seemed quite into you?" leah sat down beside her as katie sighed deeply.
"i don't know i thought she was. we'd been talking a lot, getting to know each other better, it was starting to feel like more but i guess not. ever since i met him she's been blankin me so i guess whatever it was with us is over now." katie shrugged it off, not wanting to dwell on the subject as she brushed leah off to go for a shower.
"and please don't tell anyone leah!"
and leah tried not to, she really did. but when beth continued to pester katie and she could see the annoyance building, she figured she would be doing the girl a favour by filling the girl in.
"wait that was her boyfriend? i was only joking about the date thing." beth frowned, both girls having filled the other in over a coffee. "did they seem like they were? katie said she's ghosted her ever since so i guess it makes sense?" leahs eyebrows knitted together in confusion.
little did they both know just how wrong they were.
~
"oh! thats him, thats the boyfriend." beths eyes widened as she gripped leahs bicep, yanking her around to look where she pointed, mathew hanging around chatting to a few of their team mates.
"wait him? i've met that guy a bunch times he's here almost every match." leah realised, beth tightening her grip on her and marching the two of them in the boys direction.
"no personal bartender with you today then?" beth plastered a smile on her face, not wanting to go in with all guns blazing and scare the poor guy off. "oh her? please it took me almost twenty two years to get that girl to come to one game!" the boy laughed and re-introduced himself at beths subtle request.
"twenty two years?" leah frowned a little at the timeline, trying to piece it together. "yeah we go way back, grew up together since we were kids. pretty sure our parents were convinced we were gonna get married someday!" he joked with a grin, beth and leah exchanging a look.
"were?"
"well yeah, when they realised i liked boys and she liked girls that put a bit of a pin in their plans." mathew chuckled, leahs face paling as beth bit her lip to hide a smile at their obvious blunder. "so you two aren't..." beth gestured as the boys eyes widened and he laughed harder.
"please! god no. why, are one of you interested?" he winked, well aware of their ongoing presence at your workplace.
"but no she's very much so single. i've begged her to let me get her back into the dating scene but she's hopelessly hung up on some girl she's been sleeping with for months now-" the boy rolled his eyes, and had you been present you'd have smacked the living daylights out of him for oversharing, his favorite habit.
"-but this girl only wants something casual where as she wants more. so i've tried to get her to cut it off but she's convinced it doesn't hurt to keep it going, which i know her like the back of my hand and believe me, it's hurting her." mathew sighed with a shake of his head, eyes widening when he realized who he was actually talking to.
"but i am very very certain that she would kill me for sharing all of that so please if you see her at the bar don't mention it. i'd quite like to live to see next week i have tickets to next weekends match." the boy joked, glancing over his shoulder as a few of his friends called out for him.
"well fantastic game girls it was lovely speaking to you both. thank you for your time and i am very sorry for filling it with my own voice." he winced apologetically, flashing them a dazzling smile before hurrying off after his friends.
"find katie?" "find katie."
~
you looked over your shoulder in surprise as there was a knock at your door, a quick tap of your phone screen showing it was nearly half seven at night, hardly a time for a door to door salesmen to be coming round, and most of your friends knew where your spare key was and never hesitated to let themselves in.
pausing the episode of love island you were catching up on as you cooked, you tucked your phone into the pocket of your hoodie and padded over to the door, cautiously opening it as another knock sounded.
"we need to talk."
you stepped back as katie shot past you, a blur of red having just come from a video study debrief for the teams upcoming match against chelsea.
she knew you didn't work sundays so took a shot in the dark that you'd be home, grateful it paid off as you closed your door. "please, come in!" you scoffed at her abruptness, following after her into the kitchen.
"i'm not sleeping with you." you started firmly, crossing your arms over your chest as katie now scoffed, taking a seat at the kitchen bench. "when i said we needed to talk, i meant with our mouths and not with our tongues." the irishwoman quipped back causing a slight blush to creep over your cheeks.
"what's there to talk about katie?" you withheld a groan at the intrusion, ignoring her patting the seat beside her for you to sit down as if she was in her own home, instead you chose to stay standing a few feet away from her.
"why you're actin funny with me." the brunette folded her arms sternly and raised an eyebrow, now thanks to her faithful blonde friends she knew you didn't have a boyfriend she wanted answers as to why you'd been ignoring her.
"i've just been busy." you lied, turning your back to her and busying yourself resuming the chopping and prepping for your dinner, hoping with some minimal responses the brunette would grow tired and hopefully leave.
"bullshit, ya never ignore me entirely." katie held firm, and you could feel her eyes bore into the back of your head like lasers. "why do you even care? its not like we're dating or you can't get your needs met elsewhere." you added the last part a little bitterly, a pause of silence falling between the two of you.
"and what's that supposed to mean then?" katie scoffed, raising an eyebrow at the obvious change of tone. "you know what it means i'm not spelling it out for you." you shook your head, the only sound being your knife hitting the board as you chopped up the peppers.
"jesus would you stop that and actually talk to me?" katie snapped, standing to her feet with a frustrated huff. "okay. you want to do this? fine, lets do this." you also snapped, dropping the knife and spinning around to face the older girl.
"i thought that whatever we were doing was completely casual, a friends with benefits situation and i was fine with that." you started, crossing your arms over your chest. "but then you made it complicated." you accused, pointing at her as she made a face of both confusion and offence.
"i made it complicated? till yesterday i thought ya had a boyfriend you were using me to cheat on with!" katie defended making you now pull a face. "what on earth gave you that impression?" you asked, face scrunched up in both disgust and confusion at the mere thought.
"your boy mathew or whatever his name was!" katie rolled her eyes and you paused for a minute before letting out a loud sarcastic bark of laughter. "my best friend? jesus no he's not my boyfriend katie i'm a lesbian for god sakes!" you corrected now with a roll of your own eyes.
"and like you're one to talk about loyalty anyway. asking me to 'hang out' right after you're on a date with another girl and at my job of all places, you don't want to be used to cheat with? i don't like being a backup option when your first one isn't interested in rounding the bases with you." you spat, katie scoffing at the accusation.
"a date? when the hell did i go on a date? you're deluded!" she waved you off with a shake of her head, accent only getting thicker the more upset she became, still not understanding why everything had changed.
"don't you gaslight me! the blonde you took to dinner the other night, you two certainly seemed cosy." your nostrils flared angrily as you held your ground, not allowing what you'd seen to be dismissed. "the blonde what-" katie grimaced trying to think back, but then it clicked.
and she did quite possibly the worst thing she could have within that moment, grabbing her stomach and doubling over in laughter, which you assumed was at you.
"okay you know what? this conversation is over. get the hell out!" you ordered angrily, clearing the distance between the two of you in a few steps and shoving at her as the brunette barely stumbled backwards, still trying to catch her breath.
"you're quite gorgeous when you're jealous ya know." the irishwoman smirked cockily and your cheeks flushed red at the sudden shift in tone. "i repeat, get. out." you recovered quickly, pointing toward the front door as katies smirk only widened, advancing slowly toward you.
"katie-" you started to warn, backing up until you smacked into the counter, the brunette pressing her body against yours, hands flushed flat on the marble counter as she smiled smugly down at you. "say that again then, tell me to leave and i will."
you tried to tell her to get out, you really did, but as she lent down and brought her face closer to yours you were consumed by the alluringly comforting smell of her perfume, knees wobbly at her pearly white smile and the cheeky twinkle of her blue eyes.
but as your stomach fluttered and your heart leapt into your throat, you remembered that to her this was all just a game, it would never be anything more than this and for your own peace and protection, you couldn't give in.
"get out, please." you dropped your gaze right before her lips could touch softly to your own, gently pushing her off and quickly rounding the counter, trying to put as much distance between the two of you as you could.
"that wasn't a date ya know." you refused to turn around at her words, instead grabbing your knife again and resuming the chopping of your vegetables. "hey would you stop that, please." you hadn't heard her make your way over to you, her hand grabbing yours as you dropped the knife with a sigh.
"five minutes. just give me that to hear me out and then if you still want me to go i'm gone and ya won't hear from me again." she requested softly, you hesitated but after a quick glance at her pleading face you gave in with a sigh.
keeping a firm grip on your hand the irishwoman lead you over to the sofa, gently sitting you down before she took her own seat at the opposite end, purposefully giving you some space.
"that wasn't a date. that blonde lass you saw me with last week was one of my sisters, she came and stayed with me for a few days to see the game and catch up while she's on break from uni." katie started to explain as you felt your cheeks burn bright red in embarrassment, burying your face in your hands with a gentle groan.
"stop that, listen." katie lent forward, tugging your hands away and nudging you to sit up before she settled back and continued. "and the whole reason that i brought her to your work was so she could see ya, cause i might have talked her ear off about you." katies own cheeks now flushed a rosy pink as you frowned slightly.
"because if you'd have spoke with me that night, i was going to ask you on a date." katie revealed nervously, fidgeting a little in her spot. "you were?" was all you could manage to get out, positively overwhelmed at the thought.
"well actually i was going to ask for some clarification around the boyfriend thing, but then if we worked that out yeah i wanted to ask ya on a date." katie smiled awkwardly, rubbing her hands nervously on her thighs.
"but i don't-i thought you wanted things to be casual." you stammered out. "i thought you wanted things to be casual, i'd have asked you out after we first slept together until you brought up it being a one time thing." katie admitted as your eyes widened further.
"which is why i made sure i always left right after, didn't get to know ya, kept it casual. cause i guess you're alright in bed!" the girl teased cheekily, softening the somewhat awkward tension a little which you were grateful for.
"but then i couldn't help myself. i really wanted to get to know you more so i started hanging around a little, asking some stuff, testing the waters. then when you didn't immediately kick me out i thought maybe you might be into us being not so casual." katie admitted, the shy and nervous side of her she was revealing now not anything you'd ever seen from the brunette before.
"then mathew came into the picture and it threw me off!" katie rolled her eyes, a small smile curling into your lips as the puzzle pieces started to align in your head.
"so i guess that kind of brings us to now, and was really all i wanted to say." katie looked to you somewhat hopefully, awaiting to see what you would say next in return.
"i only said we should keep things casual after we slept together because i thought that's what you wanted, and i was fine with it too for awhile. but then you started to hang around and ask questions and seem interested, and then you slept over!" you paused for a moment to collect your thoughts as katie watched on, intently listening.
"well you made it complicated like i said and then i started to indulge myself into the delusions of what things would be like if we were something more. but i never thought you felt the same way and then you asked me to come to your game but you were being weird and quiet the whole time. then you came in with what i assumed was a date that really hit home for me that all we would ever be was casual." you revealed with a small wince at the obvious misunderstandings from the both of you.
"and i don't want that. my friends are all off having kids or getting engaged and i want something more than just casual sex, i want to mean something to someone which is why i brushed you off and sort of ghosted you i guess." you laid your own feelings down on the line somewhat hesitantly, scared for what it meant but unable to continue holding them back anymore.
"so you're telling me, that we could have been something more for the last few months if we just...talked about it." katie cracked a small smile which you returned with a slow nod, the two of you sharing a look before breaking out into a bout of soft laughter.
"jesus christ what a mess." katie sunk into the sofa with another laugh, dragging her hands down her face in disbelief. "do you want to stay for dinner?" you asked with a soft smile, head flopping against the back of the couch as you stared at the irishwoman a few feet away who perked up at the offer.
"i'd love to."
~
"no you chose last night! give it to me katie, now." you ordered with a huff, struggling to stay balanced as you straddled your girlfriends leg, craning for the remote which the taller girl held just out of your reach.
"i don't want to watch that reality crap you'll put on, can't we at least watch a movie?" katie held firm, pushing you away with her spare hand as you continued to fight her for the remote.
"no! you said that last night and then you fell asleep about ten minutes in." you rolled your eyes at the memory, squealing as a pair of strong arms wrapped around your waist, quickly pushing you down onto the lounge as she now sat on top of you.
"well here i am wide awake baby girl, so how about we ditch the tv all together and go to bed?" the footballer smiled suggestively, still holding the remote out of your reach. "sure." you smirked, grabbing her collar and pulling her down into a kiss.
"after we watch love island." you snatched the remote from her, taking advantage of her moment of weakness as you pushed her off of you, hastily sitting up and getting comfortable again as you navigated through to find the latest episode.
"are you serious? you would rather watch that crap than have sex with me right now?" katies chest heaved a little at the sudden passionate kiss which was rudely stolen from her, propping her body up on her elbows.
"i can get you in my bed any night of the week you're quite easy, love island is only on wednesdays." you grinned cheekily, clicking into the episode and patting the space beside you. "easy she says!" katie scoffed in disbelief, sitting upright but staying on the other side of the sofa, arms crossed with a frown embedded into her eyebrows.
with a roll of your eyes at her dramatics you shuffled down the lounge, forcefully uncrossing her arms and maneuvering your body to settle half on top of her, back wedged against the arm of the sofa while your legs draped across her lap, shaking out a blanket and settling it over the two of you.
"relax the face baby, at your age you'll get wrinkles." you teasingly rubbed your thumbs against her forehead as she scoffed. "my age! i'm only two years older than ya!" the bruntte shook her head, offence written all over her face as you grinned at how easy she was to wind up.
"you know i've always been into older women." you wiggled your eyebrows as the girls large hand came to cover your face, shoving your head away playfully. "shut up and watch your shit show."
though of course after ten minutes katie was fully invested, asking you all sorts of questions as you'd settled into her arms, her hands sliding under your top and resting on your stomach.
both of you content in the little bubble of domestic bliss you'd created, wrapped around one anothers fingers tightly and very much so smitten, not a single casual thing about any of it.
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ohdeersthings · 1 year
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Ao'nung x F!Deaf!Metkayina!Reader
Summary: Ao'nung has loved you since childhood.
Warning: Fluff, Ao'nung is a jerk to everyone but reader, some angst (I love emotional revelation of feelings), characters are aged up 18+ but no warnings here! Ronal ships reader and Ao'nung,
Note: was a request from @keyratch hope you enjoy it!
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~.~
Growing up, you always knew you were different. You couldn't hear the ocean waves, couldn't listen to the music of your clan for celebrations. You couldn't even harmonize with your mother as she sings to lull you to sleep.
Being born deaf, your parents tried so hard to pray to Eywa for a sign. The Tsahìk, Ronal, tried every herb and technique she knew, but nothing could change who you were.
What Eywa had decided for you to be.
You never blamed Eywa though, for the Great Mother had blessed you to feel a connection to her. You could feel her in the sand; the warmth of the sun that she blessed you with, the coolness of the ocean as you swam to admire the creatures she's created.
Even as a small child you had been drawn to the beauty of the Pandora.
The smallest sea shells you would collect and braid into your hair, stringing some together to make a necklace, bracelet, or head peice. The brightest floral you would gather to present to friends and family, just because the beauty of them made you think of others.
Ao'nung had only been eight when he met you for the first time. While training with his father on spear throwing he had caught sight of you collecting sea shells.
He was so distracted by you, he grabbed the spear wrong and cut his finger. Letting out a small hiss of pain, he instantly sucked on it, causing his father to gaze at him and then at you. Tonowari couldn't help but chuckle, "I see the silent beauty has caught your eye," Ao'nung was confused by his father's words, but quickly denied having even spotted you.
"Well that's too bad, because here she comes right now," sure enough you had seen the leader with his son, Ao'nung and had started over in their direction when you saw the big was hurt.
Ao'nung could only feel himself freeze as you closed the distance fast, suddenly reaching out to grab his hand as he tried to back away,
"H-hey! What are you doing?!" Ao'nung flinched as you pressed on his finger, the one he'd cut being too caught up looking at you. You never said anything, just brought out a healing leaf from your hip pouch and wrapped his finger quickly and efficiently.
"Thank you," he mumbled, you smiled and let go of his hand, signing to him, 'Would you like to play after training?' It had puzzled him why you didn't just ask out loud, but after looking to his father for assurance, he nodded to you causing you to smile and nod, turning back the way you'd come and headed away.
"Father, why didn't she just ask me?" Ao'nung questioned, looking up at Tomowari who smiled sadly at him, "she is deaf my son, she cannot speak for she never learned how, she cannot hear you," Ao'nung didn't feel any different towards you, maybe more curious, but he never felt like you were weird.
~.~
After that day many years ago, Ao'nung had grown, and so did his love for you. What started out as amazement and adoration as children, had since grown into feeling as if you were the only one for him.
The way you helped his sister with day to day chores, such grace and beauty weaving baskets and collecting herbs for his mother. The complete definition of selfless as you taught the children of the clan their sign, who else but you with your patience and grace.
The tingles you left on his body when you would tap his hand, shoulder, arm, anything to get his attention. You left him yearning for your attention day and night. Left him in agonizing pain at the thought of having you with him under the stars but couldn't.
Yourself however, would be a prize to any fine young Na'vi, but to your own self image you were at the bottom of the food chain. Your biggest insecurity being your deafness. You would never hear your mates words of love and comfort, would never hear the giggles of your own future children should Great Mother bless you with any.
You never had anyone express interest in you, although Ao'nung made sure of that, not that you knew. He always glared, growled or warned any man who looked in your direction. He made sure to linger a hand on your waist while talking, a smug look over his shoulder at the hunters who had tried to talk to you, a smirk at the Ilu keepers who tried to get to close.
When the Sullys had arrived, you had been busy helping Ronal with her duties as she was trusting you to take over while she got ready to give birth.
You didn't get to see Tsireya and Ao'nung as often as they were busy with teaching the new comers the traditions and expectations of the clan.
'(Y/N) go fetch Ao'nung, he should be down on the beach,' Ronal requested, you nodded, standing from your sitting position and heading out of the Marui, starting your trek to the beach.
You had found a few flowers on your way, taking a moment to pluck them from the ground and arranged them nicely. Maybe Ao'nung would like something to help brighten his mood.
Stopping once you reached the beach, you felt your eyes widen in disbelief as Ao'nung and his friends were surrounding Kiri, pointing at her and laughing. Kiri was clearly uncomfortable and trying to walk away, luckily Lo'ak came and started to intercept the boys, only they turned their hateful ways onto him.
You felt your fists clench up, nervously twisting the flowers. You started walking in that direction, Neteyam showing up as well from beside you, making yourself known too.
Ao'nungs ears pressed back, his body feeling hot with embarrassment that you'd caught him being rude to someone.
"Oh look, big brother to the rescue-" Ao'nung reached his hand out, silencing his friend who bowed his head obediently. "I need you to respect my sister from now on," Neteyam threatened, his eyes glaring into Ao'nung who nodded, trying to ease the anxiety in his chest as you approached too.
You tapped Kiris hand, the girl turning to you as you looked her over, as she tried to calm you down, 'I'm fine, no harm done,' she assured, you face turning into one of doubt but giving up in the end.
The three siblings went to walk away, but Lo'ak suddenly turned around and went back to Ao'nung, his smirk and quirked eyebrow making you upset a little. Why was he acting this way? Was he really this mean to them?
Ao'nung didn't know what had happened when Lo'ak punched him, one second he was standing and the next on the floor with his friends helping him up. They all jumped Lo'ak who held his ground to the best of his abilities, but soon found his brother Neteyam jumping in to help him.
You gasped, hands covering your mouth in disbelief, the flowers falling into the sand forgotten. Why were they doing this? 'Kiri, we need to stop them' you told her, but even she could only look on in a mix of horror and laughter.
Deciding that enough was enough, you inserted yourself into the fight, Ao'nungs friends quickly backing away as you pulled them off.
Neteyam hadn't seen you enter the fight, when he felt his shoulder get touched he quickly turned and went to punch the person, barely being able to stop himself before he hit you.
You had flinched inward, arms raised quickly to protect yourself, eyes shut incase of pain. "(Y/N)!" Ao'nung threw himself to you, shoving Neteyam out of the way, his hands gently grabbing yours to bring them down.
You squeaked, the cutest sound Ao'nung had ever heard, and opened your eyes to see Ao'nung checking you for injuries despite his cheek being bruised and lip busted. His eyes held fear and worry, hands moving from your arms to gently hold your face.
An adult nearby had brought his father and Toruk Makto, but he didn't care for the shouts that were happening, he could only focus on you. He brought his hands into view, 'You okay?' Ao'nung questioned, though your face contorted into worry as you held his face, feeling bad when he flinched from your thumb brushing his cheek.
He grabbed your hand and held it at his side as he turned to Neteyam, "Don't you ever touch her again!" If it hadn't been for his father pulling him away with you in tow, he would've attacked the oldest sibling.
"Maybe don't start things your girlfriend tries to finish!" Lo'ak yelled back, getting dragged away by his own father.
Upon entering the Marui, his mother hit him upside the head, "skxqwng! You brought (Y/n) into this?! I pray for the resilience to not break your bones!" Ao'nung averted his mother and fathers gaze, his head down as he couldn't even look to you either. Ashamed you had caught him at his worst moment.
"I leave (Y/n) to take care of your wounds, Great Mother help you find some sense!" Ronal hissed, Tonowari leading her out of the Marui to give you two some privacy.
You slowly walked over, placing a hand on his arm, Ao'nung letting you lead him to the mat and both of you sitting down facing eachother.
'What were you thinking?' You inquired, waiting for his reply as you began to mix a paste together. 'I wasn't thinking, but they deserved it, freaks all of them' he huffed, sucking it back in when you roughly applied the paste to his cheek.
His eyes found yours as you stared at him with hurt, 'What does that make me then? I cannot hear, I cannot speak well, they can communicate freely, I have to look for eyes and attention,'
Ao'nung felt his throat constrict, his hands clamy. You were so beautiful in his eyes, but the way he treated them made you think ill of yourself and that's not want he wanted.
You looked down, eyes glossy from unshed tears. His hand on your chin made you look at him, your lip trembling as your ears pressed back.
Ao'nung let go and signed only one word, but it made your body erupt in flames.
'Beautiful'
~.~
Since the incident with the boys on the beach, Ao'nung tried to be kind in your presence when the sullys were around but when the opportunity to trick Lo'ak revealed itself, he couldn't help it.
When he returned though and found you looking at him with those eyes again. Eyes filled with pain and now disappointment, he knew had to do the right thing.
'I'm sorry,' he apologized, finding you alone by the beach later that night. You turned from him, arms crossed. You weren't going to look at him or reply.
He fell to his knees in front of you, grasping at your hands desperately. You huffed, eyes glaring into him. Ao'nung used to pray he would never see that day you gave him that look, but after what he'd done to Lo'ak he could say he deserved it.
Hands trailing from your hands down to your elbows, he slowly let go and began to speak, "I'm sorry, I know I've been stupid and they don't deserve that, I'm not sure what I was thinking," Ao'nung kept his eyes trained on yours, watching you look exhausted.
"Why risk the danger? What if he'd gotten hurt? Or worse, you," you felt your lips pull back in a snarl, though he could only find pleasure in the fierceness of your face. His heart beat fast knowing you cared about him.
"I wish you would think with this," you placed your hand on his chest, feeling his erratic heartbeat, "not with this," you playfully pushed his forehead, a smile appearing on your lips. You couldn't stay mad at him, not when he smiled at you as softly as he did now.
He grasped your hand, bringing it back to his chest. You felt your own speed up to match his, both of you filled with deep affection for one another, not that the other knew.
You both stared at eachother for what felt like hours, yet only a few minutes had passed, just enjoying eachothers company.
When you had broken out of your daydream however, you quickly pulled your hand away and stood up, eyes darting everywhere but him as you shakily signed, "we shouldn't be doing this, I have to go,"
Ao'nung couldn't stand fast enough when you pulled away, tripping over the sand as you ran. Everything had just been perfect, what had happened?
~.~
You helped Ronal to sit, her stomach slowly getting bigger as the days went on. "Baby is good?" You wondered, a grin on your face of excitement as she nodded, her own smile gracing her features.
'Baby is strong, maybe a boy like Ao'nung,' she replied, you nodding in agreement, 'Ao'nung differently is strong,'
'Yes, he will be a great Olo'eyktan, if only he hurry and choose his Tsahìk,' she let her eyes slip to your figure out of the corner of her sight, seeing you quickly look down and away. Not out of embarrassment it seemed, but out of disappointment.
Ronal frowned, she did not like seeing you so hurt, especially by her own child, lest he be stupid enough to do it.
Ronal placed her hand on your cheek, bringing your face back up to make eye contact with her, 'why do you look so sad? What has happened?'
You tried to brush her off, 'it's nothing, I'm sure whoever he chooses will make a lovely Tsahìk,' you began to ramble, hands moving quickly, 'Ney`ite is the best diver, Alyara is known to sing beautifully, from what I've seen and been told,'
'He deserves someone who can help him feel better on rough days, someone who can actually listen and help with his problems, who loves and cherishes him as he is,'
Ronal tapped your hand, causing you to heat up in realization, you'd been rambling for too long. 'Someone, like you?' She quirked her brow, a knowing smirk on her face.
You shook your head, eyes feeling glossy with tears, 'what do I have to offer him?' You felt a hiccup erupt in your throat from trying to hold in your sobs, 'I cannot listen to his problems, I cannot comfort our children with words when crying, no one would look to me, Eywa may love me as she created me, but surely Ao'nung loves another,'
Ronal felt her eyes catch the sight of a figure standing behind you. Ao'nung could only stand frozen as he saw what you thought of yourself. He's never loved anyone like he loves you, and it's his fault for making you think otherwise.
Ronal grasped your hands firmly, shaking her head at you. Ronal reached a hand for Ao'nung who walked over, his shadow startling you as you looked upwards, his face looking hurt by your own tears.
Ronal placed your hand in his, his fingers gripping your own softly but firm, like a silent promise to never let go.
The Tsahìk bowed in exiting the Marui, leaving both of you alone.
Ao'nung knelt to face you, your cheeks hot with humiliation that he had to see you like this. You tried to look elsewhere but he placed his hand on your cheek, turning your face towards him.
He let go, feeling a moment of Deja Vu as he thought back to two nights ago by the water. When you both had been just as close in the sand.
"You are not less than anyone here," he signed, feeling his heart excelerate with emotion.
'(Y/n), I don't need to hear your voice to know your words are strong and kind, I don't need your words of comfort when your touches are enough,' he placed your hand on his chest, just as he did those nights ago. He hoped you would feel his heart that's beating full of love for you.
You could only feel a bizarre rush of emotions, anger at yourself for letting Ao'nung find out this way, fear in what is to come, yet, love from knowing he felt the same as you did.
'I'm sorry you did not see yourself as adequate when you are more than I could ever dream, the love you hold for our clan speaks words where your lips may fail,'
You felt your lips quiver, tears falling down your face as you tried to hold yourself together.
'I see you, (Y/n), and I would love for you to become my Tsahìk, my mate,'
You laughed, 'I would love to spend my life with you, I see you, Ao'nung,' you pressed your forehead to his, his own tear or two slipping from his eye as you both enjoyed this moment of peace together.
He raised both hands to your face, cupping your head as he brought your lips to his, the soft, plush feeling of your lips nearly driving him mad with desire. Your own hand finding home on his chest and shoulder as you felt weak from lack of air.
Pulling away, you made him stand up with you, his eyes showing curiosity. You smirked at him, 'Wanna go somewhere more private?' Ao'nungs silence spoke for itself as he dragged you out of the Marui, right past his parents who had a sudden look of realization.
"Oh Great Mother," Ronal sighed exasperated, "Looks like our youngest will be close in age to our grandchild," Tonowari mumbled, flinching from Ronal who began to hit him from saying such words, "skxqwng!"
~.~
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vixenvoider · 8 months
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I ENTERED THE VOID STATE
in this post i will explain in depth how i entered the void state and what i manifested. i will be open to questions but if you ask something that i explain in this post i won't answer it just fyi, so even though this will be long, if you are truly curious i encourage you to read the whole thing. i am sorry for any spelling mistakes or grammar mistakes that might be present.
overall story: i have been trying to enter the void for around 2 months now, and finally entered through a lucid dream. one thing i want to note before i tell my story is that i have been lucid dreaming my whole life (so if you never have, i don't know what good steps are for beginners).
the beginning: my journey started when i inadvertently came across a post about how someone else entered the void state and manifested their dream body and face. i was not into manifesting before, in fact, i actually had a problem with the whole concept of the law of attraction and didn't know there were other types of manifestation and never looked deeply into it. that being said, i have always been an open-minded person and also, a more or less spiritual person. i believe in a lot of "out there" things because a lot of said things have been proven to me (through experiences i find hard to explain so i'm not going to). i'm sharing this to let you know that due how deeply i naturally believe in such things i never really had a problem with my void concept, even though i experienced doubts (so for this area i really can't give much advice).
so after learning about the existence of the void state i searched "void state" on tumblr and skimmed some info here and there on it, what i came across included some basic methods on how to enter the void but i didn't fully understand them yet. that same night i followed a shifting guided meditation but i couldn't really get "into" it, i was a naturally anxious person who found it hard to relax so it just wasn't working, but i did see it through and try my best and i think in the long run it helped me. in the guided meditation i listened to, the person makes you walk through a door to get to your desired reality and even though the meditation didn't work, that imagery worked it's way into my subconscious and i had a lucid dream that night. i did not manifest anything that night but it was on purpose (i think). in my lucid dream i woke up in my bedroom. i looked in the mirror and decided i would change what i saw to a more desired appearance and it worked (i looked exactly like the person i was thinking of), then, i decided (with intention) to open my bedroom door and enter my dream house and it worked. at this point in the dream i thought that entering the void must be super easy since i was already basically close and could have done it there if i wanted to BUT i chose to wake up because i wanted to enter the void when i actually knew for sure what i wanted my manifestations to be. i knew i was going to want a lot if i really thought about it and i also didn't want to actually look like someone else (my whole lucid dream i was more trying to test my imagination and build my confidence). the next day i started making a void state list and writing down everything i genuinely wanted for myself.
experiencing doubts: things started to go wrong after that hahah, after my first beginner's luck(?) experience i was struggling to lucid dream (even though i've always naturally been a lucid dreamer, the times it occurs is still random and i couldn't make them happen) and meditations were only getting me so close. all in all, over the past 2 months i had 5 failed lucid dreams and several close, but failed, meditation attempts. this instilled some doubts in me, especially the lucid dreams, because apparently once you lucid dream it's meant to be quite simple but when i would affirm for the void in my dreams i would just wake up or the dream would continue.
another thing that caused me to doubt the void was questioning some of the stories on here. most of them i initially don't believe anyway because it's known there's many liars in the community and there seems to be a trend of people posting void success stories in an attempt to enter to the void (to act as if it already happened) but they technically haven't in reality yet. that being said, i did have some blogs i mostly trusted and then one day one of the blogs i trusted answered an anonymous ask about a success story and it really looked like they sent it to themselves. the reason i thought this was because the op of the blog spells a commonly used word wrong all the time but it's not a spelling mistake people commonly make (in fact, i know no one who makes this spelling mistake) but then the anon that sent them the success story made the exact same spelling mistake. it made me worry that perhaps there were no true success stories because why was this person who supposedly mastered the void bothering with sending asks to themselves to validate their blog? i mean this was all speculation but it still caused me to think.
that being said again, i still basically believed, i just wavered a little, but i definitely believed enough to keep persisting (because why not?)
the success: finally, after almost 2 months i entered the void through a lucid dream. when i realised i was dreaming i tried to make myself stay super grounded in the dream but i also thought about not taking too long since i didn't want to wake up. i did this because i realised the very first night when i had my lucid dream, i didn't get excited and try immediately, i hung around in my dream for a while and just enjoyed things (as i explained). so i wandered around the dream a bit and just looked at things, touched things, tried to feel the temperature and take note of it and then when i felt calm and not too excited i closed my eyes and affirmed for the void and entered. when i got the void i just said "i have everything on my void list" (a few times to make sure) and then stated i was exiting the void state. the void feels how pretty much everyone describes, you just know it's happening and you are pure consciousness.
what i manifested: my void state list ended up being super long and i manifested a lot of personal things that i won't share, which is what i'm sure would be the same for most people, but i'll include a list of things that others might find interesting or encouraging:
desired appearance (including body, face, height etc)
money (i came up with a plan that of how it would make sense in my country to have acquired it)
got rid of my anxiety disorder (having this was probably the most debilitating part of my life, it's also why i know meditation never truly worked for me since i could never relax and it's crazy to feel not severely stressed constantly for the first time in my life)
got rid of my autoimmune disease and fixed my eyesight (i manifested being healthy overall in general)
feel comfortable instantly, i will no longer get too itchy, feel dirty after a long day, be too hot or too cold etc. (can't really attest to this one yet but i have felt no discomfort)
dream living space and whatever bed i sleep in to always be super comfortable
opinion on the void state: overall the point is that the void state is real and you can get anything you want, getting to the void is also easy but it's just about trying to go for it and not getting discouraged. i don't want to share too much of my opinion on this because i actually find it really toxic. some people will get mad if you say you "entered" or "got to" the void because you technically are always the void, and personally, i don't find these slight changes in language to be important unless you are very sensitive to it. for me, it doesn't matter if i think about the void as something i enter or something i am because i believe it exists and that's all i need to know at the end of the day. if you want to see it as something you are, or a state or anything else, i don't think it matters as long as you believe manifestation is possible, you are the creator of your reality, you get to decide what language or thought process works for you :)
common questions: i'm going to answer some question i feel like i will get if people find this post so i'm just going to answer them here. remember that these answers are just my opinion.
question: how come people don't manifest to end world hunger, for everyone to have money, to become the next "big thing", to be a real life superhero, for everyone to be happy etc. truthfully, i think people do manifest that but i don't think they stay in this reality. a lot of people think that using the void at all means you shift your reality, idk if i believe in that, but i would have to assume the people that use the void to manifest very extreme things ultimately have to shift realities. so this would mean the reason you're not seeing these results is because these people are no longer in this reality. if you pay attention i think you will also notice that most void success stories that seem to come from reliable sources (though this is still all personal judgement) seem to be rather humble, these people just manifest to be the prettier version of themselves, to live in a nice place, to be around good people and other similar things. i think people with mostly humble desires stay in this reality and people with more fantastical desires (to be the most famous person ever, to be a multibillionaire, world peace) go elsewhere.
question: why would someone even have humble desires? i can't speak for every single person but i think it's just the desire to stick to the familiar. we want better lives but also want to feel at "home" still, i wanted to still feel like ME. maybe it seems stupid and selfish but if we really are shifting realities every time then there really is no way to actually solve world hunger anyway, it will always exist in this reality even if you or i personally go to another one. at the end of the day, life isn't fair and i am just grateful to have discovered the void to live happily and am sharing this so you can too.
question: i'm worried about the wrong people finding out about the void state. honestly, me too! but i think this falls in line with my past two answers, if someone terrible happened to stumble upon this post and entered the void, i don't think they'd stay here, they will go to some other reality more likely, so i really don't think we have to worry about someone super evil getting to the void and doing something super heinous or whatever. but honestly i do understand the worry. at first when i discovered the void i thought i wouldn't share my success story once i entered because i wanted to keep the void as quiet as possible. but just remember two things: most people do not know about the void and if they do a lot of them will give up and not persist. second, someone really evil finding it will probably leave this reality (my theory).
question: why do people not show better proof. truthfully, i don't know, for me it's because i really do want to live a private life and a lot of stuff i manifested can't be proven anyway. if i show my bank account, it could be photoshop, if i show my new face it means nothing because i revised to always look this way, i can't prove i no longer have my autoimmune disease and the list goes on. i think people with more dramatic proof also want to maintain their privacy or go to other realities. perhaps there's even been people to show dramatic proof in this reality but they had to revise that they didn't because it was a mistake.
question: do you have any overall tips? just keep persisting. and personally, i think it's okay to try several methods at once. i know some people say if you try several then it "cancels out" like, if you try lucid dreaming and it doesn't work so you meditate it means you don't "believe" lucid dreaming can work for you so then that's why it takes you so long but i think you can just tell yourself "every method works for me so i will just keep persisting". another thing i recommend trying for a few days is setting your alarm to go off at different times so day 1 is 8am, day 2 is 7am, day 3 is 9am and so forth. each day set the intention to wake up BEFORE your alarm goes off, once you successfully start waking up a few minutes before your alarm everyday this is your tangible proof that your intentions are working. this isn't really a method but more so a confidence booster that worked for me to remind myself i'm in control and powerful. if you also try this i think after a few days you will feel more confident intending to lucid dream, for your meditations to work, for subliminals to work (whatever is your personal vibe) and you will get there easier hopefully!
question: did you ever do any official lucid dreaming methods. personally the only way i ever had a lucid dream was by intending before sleeping that i would lucid dream. but methods where you wake up by setting your alarm early and going back to sleep and stuff didn't work for me. i tried but due to my anxiety i would always wake up super alert or even stressed, so i could never relax enough. but they are successful for many people so there is no harm in trying.
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neptuneiris · 9 months
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detachment (03/03)
with detachment, we see our mistakes honestly, make amends and start afresh.
pairing: prince!aemond × niece!reader
summary: aemond not only breaks your heart after so many love promises, he also breaks his betrothal to you without any justification and announces his betrothal to a baratheon girl. now you will be married soon too.
word count: 8.5k
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thank you so much for joining me and giving your support to this short story. there will be no epilogue, this is the end, so i hope you enjoy it very much, love you all. see you in the next stories🥺❤
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"You look too happy, my Lady."
"I say the same of you, my Lord."
Lord Cregan smiles softly in your direction, without both stopping dancing and without ceasing to be the center of attention of some of the nobles still remaining in their seats and your family as well.
Even though there are more people around you both also dancing, the center of the huge Room gradually adding of more people to dance, still you feel many attentive looks on you and your betrothed.
"Well, we would draw a lot of attention if we weren't dancing and smiling, my princess. This is all in our honor."
You smile, lowering your gaze for a moment.
"Well… then I must say you are an excellent dancing partner."
"You too, my princess," he smiles at you, "Although, to be honest with each other, this is actually costing me a bit… feeling a lot of eyes on me," he confesses to you honestly, without wiping the small smile from his lips, "Especially when I feel like they're burning my skin at the moment."
At that moment you don't need explanations. You know Lord Stark means him.
"I apologize for that," you say apologetically.
"No, it's all right," he assures you, "It's a bit intimidating, too much actually, considering the prince's reputation in combat. But in a way… I understand what he must be going through."
This catches your attention, at once watching him intently and curious.
"You shouldn't," you make it clear to him, serious, "This is our wedding, you don't have to feel sorry for him. From what I told you when you went to Dragonstone, remember he has no right, he was the one who cancelled our betrothal."
"Honestly, my princess… I wouldn't be surprised if at some point in the night you disappeared and left me."
You lower your gaze, deep inside you a few moons ago you probably would have wished for that, for Aemond to arrive at any moment, take you away and wed you. But now… this is a duty.
It's not like that's really going to happen either, not now when everything is already happening. He is present, yes, but it's all in the past and he's getting wed soon too.
"I can say the same for you, my Lord," you say a little amused, "I too feel a certain… intimidating stare."
He smiles softly and denies with his head.
"No. I would never do anything like that to you, princess."
"But do you love her or not?"
"I shouldn't answer you something like that, princess. It would be disrespectful when you are my betrothed, not her."
"No," you gently shake your head, "It is all right, my Lord. It is my wish for you to be honest with me, believe me I do not mind," you assure him, "Besides, I think I know the answer from what you also told me on your visit to my home."
"Well," he looks a little apologetic, "Yes, of course I love her. But I realized it too late. Had I known sooner, I would have married her in an instant."
You can't smile, especially knowing that both you and Lord Stark have someone else in your hearts and yet the two of you are here about to be wed.
Unconsciously your gaze wanders to Lady Alysanne Blackwood who is seated at one of the tables with a glass of wine in her hand, staring into oblivion and quickly identifying her sad face which she is trying to hide.
And you know this because you were also doing the same thing and feeling the same way.
"Have you spoken to her, my Lord?"
You turn your gaze to Lord Stark, asking him softly.
"She said she is happy for me and wishes me a loving and pleasing marriage," he tells you also trying to hide his pain on his face and in his tone, avoiding looking to where Lady Blackwood is now sitting.
"I'm very sorry."
"No princess, you had nothing to do with it," he assures you instantly, "You don't have to apologize and feel responsible, just as I have nothing to do with what happened between you and your uncle."
"Then why do I feel that if my uncle or I finally do something about our union, you'd be all right with it?" you ask him curiously, "You wouldn't be upset and turn on my family if I leave and make a fool of you after so much?"
"Well…" he thinks about it for a moment, " I would feel a little humiliated? Yes. But to be honest, if I were him and I was seeing the woman I love marrying someone else… I would wish things in my favor and no matter what, I would take her away from here and marry her in a heartbeat."
"That is what you would do even for when we are already in these circumstances and everyone expects us to marry soon?"
Lord Cregan looks at you with a small amused smile and a somewhat questioning look.
"Are you trying to say that's what you would do, my princess?"
"I spoke in supposition, my Lord," you explain, "What if we were in other circumstances. As for instance that this wedding is happening against my will, with a person I do not wish to marry and where…. the person I love also loves me."
"Princess, it is improper what I will say and it is not gentlemanly of me, especially since I truly mean no disrespect—
"It's all right," you assure him again softly, "Speak freely, my Lord."
"Well… since you put it that way and apparently we're both on the same page… yes," he confesses with a soft look, "I would too."
You frown slightly.
"But I never said I—
"It doesn't need to be said and I know I don't know you too well, my princess. But I know you would too."
He smiles softly at you, as you watch him silently, saying absolutely nothing, thinking about his words.
"I have heard the stories of your mother and father. All of them have come to the North, very interesting stories and captivating to more than one, I must say. And knowing that same blood runs through your veins…I am already prepared for whatever you decide to do."
"I am already prepared for whatever you decide to do."
That repeats constantly in your mind, saying nothing for a few seconds as you continue to dance to the music and the specific choreography while Lord Stark follows your same step at all times, as do the other nobles around you.
But truly… what would you do?
Nothing. Just do your duty. And your duty is this.
Between you and Aemond there is nothing anymore. It's not as if at any moment you're going to run away with him, running away from your responsibilities, because you know he won't do anything and certainly you won't do anything either.
It's all said and done, he's getting married, you're getting married and what you once had, that love that existed is gone. And even though the stories of your mother and father still live on… you and Aemond are not like them.
Right?
"No need to worry about that, my Lord," you tell him as you both continue to dance, "You and I, that is what is happening now. He's betrothed too and there's nothing left of what we once was."
"I would not be so sure about that, princess."
You look at him confused.
"Why not?"
"I know the nature of the man. And knowing his father, Prince Daemon, a man who has my full admiration and respect, his nephew, Prince Aemond must be just like him. Besides, he would be a fool not to be acting now that the woman he loves is marrying someone else."
You deny with your head, understanding the point about your father, who also acted at one time with your mother at her wedding to your father Sr. Laenor, but he in the end did nothing about it.
And Aemond… is completely different.
Your father didn't break your mother's heart in the worst possible way, leaving her without explanation, much less just when both of them were already about to get married and have everything.
And about finally acting when the woman he loves is marrying someone else… it's something you don't fully understand.
"It's selfish, dont you think?"
"All men are selfish, I include myself. But the decision is always up to you, the woman I love and all women," he assures you with a soft smile, "Now…." he makes you both stop dancing, holding your hand delicately, " I will know your decision soon, princess. I'll be here waiting."
Confusion begins to overtake you, not understanding anything.
"What do you mean, my Lord?"
He does not answer you, on the contrary, he places his gaze over your shoulder, looking at something or someone specific, barely giving you time to react, because at that moment Aemond appears between the two of you, placing one of his hands on Lord Stark's shoulder.
"May I, Sr. Cregan?"
This immediately catches your attention, as Aemond keeps his attention on lord Stark, who watches you for a few seconds and then nods in his direction.
"Of course, my prince."
All the other people around you continue to dance, as lord Stark begins to walk away to disappear among all the people… and you watch Aemond without expression really, even more without understanding anything.
And when he looks at you, it's like reliving all those moments, all those moments where you both shared kisses, caresses and those promises of love, also all those moments when you were children.
However… he says nothing and simply places now his hand on your lower back to start guiding you towards the center of the Room, you walking too instantly, both of you making your way through all the people dancing.
Nerves invade you, especially because this is the first time you are in front of him after everything that happened, taking into account that you ignored his request about meeting on the island, although he has it more in mind than you.
But everything happens too fast.
You are completely oblivious to the looks that Otto Hightower and Queen Alicent are giving you both, while your mother and father don't seem annoyed like the previous ones mentioned, but rather curious and expectant.
While Aegon… he couldn't be having more fun with the moment, especially delighting in his little brother's audacity and his mother's and grandsire furious stares, especially his grandsire.
Aemond glances sideways towards the table, or towards his grandsire specifically, being very aware that he is being watched. But honestly he couldn't care less.
He's had enough. And he doesn't care that this isn't what they expected of him or that it will lead to serious consequences later, he doesn't care anymore… because he will finally make things right.
"This is what you want?"
Is the first thing he says to you once he has your attention in High Valyrian, both of you being surrounded by all the people dancing to the music, while he and you remain in the middle of it all, standing in front of each other, your attentions on each other.
And his question bothers you, because it is certainly not what you expected to hear from him after so many moons apart and in which he never once explained anything to you when you needed it most.
He simply questions you about your marriage, his serious look on you, while you answer him with the same attitude and manner.
"It's none of your concern what I want, uncle. It's not like you'll care either, just like I don't care what you have to say about my wedding either."
Uncle, not Aemond, just…uncle.
All your words anger him, instantly watching you with such intensity and with his jaw clenched, leaning more towards you with that defiant look.
Then you answer him in the same way, watching him with your chin up and your serious, determined look.
"The man from the North is a good and noble man who will drive you to boredom even before you both say your vows before the Seven, so tell me niece….. do you really think he deserves you?"
"Don't tell me, uncle. Now you're going to say you're the one who deserves me?"
Aemond clenches his jaw tighter.
"You didn't let me explain."
"It was too late for your explanations, don't you think?"
"I waited for you and you never came."
"Well, now you know what it feels like to be left without explanation," you tell him in a bitter, serious tone, "Not to mention that I had to hear the news of your new betrothal afterwards."
Aemond does not take his gaze away from you for a second, not even caring that you are in public and in the open view of other people, especially his family, because at that moment for him… it is only you.
And honestly… you don't care either.
You had been waiting for this moment, nothing feeling more than satisfying than paying back the man who supposedly loved you in the same way, making him feel what you felt.
"Perhaps you would understand why I did it if you would let me explain," he tells you serious.
"No," you tell him serious and annoyed, "Your explanations I needed to hear when you broke me and left me. Not now that you're finally acting when my wedding to another man who isn't you is happening."
He watches you completely serious and attentive, while you are being more than firm with your attitude and your words, even defiant.
"So if you will excuse me… I have to find my betrothed."
Putting the matter to an end, you turn around and start walking away from him, trying to make your way through all the people around dancing.
But it's barely three steps that you advance when Aemond stops you by the arm and makes you turn on your own axis to be face to face with him again.
And Gods… he is furious.
Again you watch him defiantly, more by the fact that he holds you by the waist and pulls you completely to him, bringing another of his hands to your cheek, preventing you from running away from him again, while you watch him seriously and in expectation of his next move.
But he's not mad at the fact that you won't let him explain himself, but at your words, your betrothed.
"First I'm going to burn everything to the ground before you have a chance to marry that fucking northern man," he warns you mumbling under his breath, their faces mere inches apart.
You try to pull away from him, but he only makes his grip on your waist tighter and his grip on your cheek tighter, watching your whole face, your precious face with possession and desire, watching your lips between parted as your gaze also watches his, reprimanding yourself.
"Let me go. People are watching us."
"Then let them see," he says without a care in the world, his gaze possessive and dominant, "Let them see who you truly belong to."
You press your lips together, upset.
"You are so selfish."
"When it comes to you…you don't have a fucking idea. And I'm not going to let you go."
At that moment, both of them are indeed getting attention, but not from the noble people, but from their families.
Otto Hightower clenches his hands into fists and squeezes them tightly with a deathly stare, while Queen Alicent watches the scene in disbelief, not having the slightest idea how to fix her son's behavior.
But Princess Rhaenyra and Prince Daemon... are only anticipating what will come next.
"If you don't let go of me I'm going to scream," you warn him between your teeth.
But at this, Aemond can only smile with a certain self-centeredness and satisfaction, as well as looking amused.
"Oh I would like to see you try, my love."
And then the next thing he does is to take you firmly by the arm and start dragging you towards the exit of the Throne Room, unnoticed among all the people dancing, while you try to put up resistance in an instant but with Aemond's strength it's impossible.
You think about screaming, as you told him you would, but causing a scandal would only be worse, so you let him lead you, who with quick steps makes sure no one follows and takes you away from all that absurd and boring feast.
But once you both leave the Room, that's when you can finally stop him and confront him.
"What are you doing!?"
"I want to explain," he insists serious.
"No!" you exclaim in annoyance, "I don't want you to explain anything! Can't you see that I can't leave my own feast? What is my betrothed going to think? And your betrothed too!?"
"I don't give a shit about your feast, your betrothed and my betrothed, now come," he says as he again puts pressure on your arm to continue to lead you away.
But you put up a resistance again.
"No! Let go of me, Aemond!"
"Don't make me repeat myself again, Y/N."
"This isn't fair!"
"Nothing is. Now stop resisting and walk," he tells you disinterested.
"You're so fucking selfish! You don't even have any idea what you really put me through and now you want to ruin my wedding because since you don't care, you think I must not care too!"
Aemond, starting to lose his patience, sighs and has no choice but to, without waiting for you, grab you and place you on his shoulder like a sack to start walking quickly away from there without further inconvenience.
"Aemond!" you exclaim in surprise and in horror.
"Are you going to behave now?"
"Put me down! Put me down this instant!"
"I don't want to."
"I have to go back! We're going to get in trouble because of you!"
"Too bad."
So the only smart thing you can think of at that moment is to keep complaining and trying to hurt him with your not so convincing closed fist punches, neither is squirming and making his job of carrying you difficult and unbearable, because simply nothing worked.
With your protests being further and further away from the Throne Room, with no one coming to your rescue, though if so they wouldn't stand a chance against Prince Aemond, he finally puts you on the ground as you enter one of the many balconies of the Keep.
"Seven fucking Hells, will you stop yelling already?"
"And what did you expect? You're taking me away from my own wedding!" you exclaim in anger.
"It's not your wedding Y/N!" he exclaims to you again serious and annoyed, "Do you really think I'm going to let you marry that fucking Stark?"
"And what about your betrothed?" you inquire instantly, incredulous, "You don't know that you can get us in trouble for this? Spare us the embarrassment, Aemond. My father must be looking for me by now and he'll put your head on a spike if he finds us."
"I don't care if your father finds us, neither does my grandsire, my mother or your betrothed," he tells you with a certain mocking, serious tone. "I don't care about any of this, Y/N. And I certainly don't care about my fucking betrothed because I'm not marrying her."
A smile and a disbelieving, absurd laugh escapes your lips, shaking your head.
"Yes, of course."
But the look Aemond gives you at that moment is a terribly honest and serious one in which he shows he's not in jest.
"I'm serious."
"Well, tell that to your grandsire," you tell him in a bitter tone, "I'm sure he'll kill you first before my father if you don't do what he or your mother tells you."
He lets out a long sigh, tearing his gaze away from yours for a moment, running one of his hands across his chin.
"Y/N—
"Why are you doing this?" you interrupt him seriously, annoyed, your skin burning and all the discomfort coursing through your body, "Why now that I am about to marry Lord Cregan? Why not before when you left me with no explanation and crying for you with the thought of your soon to be wedding to Lady Baratheon?"
"Nothing I did to you was my intention, Y/N," he implores you, earnest and honest, "Nothing was my choice, I never meant to end our betrothal."
"Then why?" you spit at him, "Is it that you don't want to see me marry someone else but I'm not going to marry you either?"
"Because the war will soon be upon us," he tells you in an instant, serious and seriously needing at that moment to explain himself, not wanting you to hate him more by listening to his reasons, "We all know that my father may die at any moment. And when that happens… the war between our families will begin."
You frown, shaking your head slightly.
"Now what are you talking about?"
"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about," he says taking a few more steps towards you, "Your mother is the Heir, we know that, but still… she is a woman and she will have a lot of people against her by the time comes."
"Many people or your mother and grandsire specifically?" you ask him expectantly.
Aemond lets out a long breath.
"Aegon is the first born son, everyone will expect him to be the next King."
"Aegon is a fucking drunk who doesn't even care about the Throne, Aemond!"
You exclaim absurdly to him, sick of this.
"He has said countless times that he is not interested in the crown and does not want to rule, but it is your grandsire who keeps insisting and wanting to take total control of everything on his own whim and for his own ambition, denigrating my mother knowing very well that my grandsire has named her Heir and has never, not even consciously, said that he wishes Aegon to succeed him! " you tell him incredulously, "And not only him, your mother is also against mine, letting herself be led by everything your grandsire tells her."
"And what is going to happen when your mother sits on the Throne, hmm?" he inquires you as well, "She can order to kill me and all my family because of the pressure of the people by having not only one, but three sons of the King, where none succeeded the crown."
All the confusion invades your face instantly, staring at him in disbelief and as if you can't believe it for even him, Aemond Targaryen, being the intelligent man he is, to think such a thing, about to retort but he continues to speak.
"Do you really think that even so if we had married, your family and I would begin to get along?"
He inquires you, incredulously and your breath catches.
"It's not that I don't want to Y/N, it's that I can't. What kind of sister cares more about some supposed lies to a maimed eye? If she had no sympathy for me at the time, less will she have for when the people reveal themselves against her and she wants to secure her Throne."
"Seven Hells," you mutter incredulously.
"I know Aegon isn't cut out to rule, but at least with him on the Throne he secures my life, Helaena's, Daeron's and my niece and nephew's."
"So is the idea of me and my entire family being killed better?" you ask him bitterly, "All this nonsense is what your grandsire and mother have been telling you all this time? Turning you, my uncles and my aunt against your own sister? Don't you realize how sick with ambition and power that is? Is this why you canceled our betrothal?"
You don't need to hear the answer to that, you already know it. But he only confirms it when he doesn't say anything to you and with a sorrowful look, looks away from you for a moment, to which you don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You honestly can't believe it.
You knew that Otto Hightower hates your entire family but not with such fervor to the point of interfering in his own grandson's life, not giving him the chance to truly marry for love.
And destroying his thoughts about you and your mother for his own ideologies and for his own lust for power to put Aegon on the Throne.
Otto is even capable of turning all the common people against your mother out of envy, not only being enough to marry his only daughter to the king, taking advantage of the pain of others and securing his position even more.
You truly hate that man and also Alicent Hightower for letting himself get led and turn his children against his own sister with lies, being that she once loved your mother and yet was led by her father to hate her simply because of her freedom to be princess and being named by the king the Heir to the Throne.
"My mother has never, not even when she was named Heir and Aegon was born, thought in such a way about you."
You make it clear to her in a serious and more than offended voice.
"All she has wanted has been, even since you and I were children, to keep the peace between our families, even proposing to marry Jace to Hel and give you a dragon egg to you, but your mother turned her down at every opportunity because of your grandsire disgusting ideas."
You tell him annoyed, serious.
"She couldn't even recently stand the thought of marrying you to me, blinded by hatred and feeding you too that same hatred to hate her. And I understand what happened years ago, I understand that my mother is not to your liking, but she truly regrets having acted as she did in understanding your mother's position, she being the first to support us with our betrothal," you remind him in a bitter tone.
Aemond watches you completely attentively, without saying anything, with his lips pressed together.
"So tell me Aemond…. if she really plans to kill you and your entire family, then why would she go to the effort of uniting our families and supporting our betrothal?" you inquire, "Do you think it's all a strategy? Because I assure you that my mother with all she has to deal with in Court, being judged at every turn for being a woman, especially by your grandsire, would not waste herself with all those attempts to ultimately become a kinslayer."
And then… Aemond feels as if a huge weight has fallen on his stomach, leaving him for a moment without air.
He continues to watch you with a expressionless gaze, when inside he is thinking completely about your words, while you watch him firmly for your words, knowing perfectly well that you are right.
And that's the truth, Aemond also thinks you are right.
Kinslayer.
A sin.
A word and an action that makes you a disgrace to the entire Targaryen dynasty. A curse to your name and in which you will be remembered forever, as Visenya Targaryen was once called, though this is only a supposition.
But this word Aemond knows really well, as do you from the stories. And considering your mother's position and the one who will become Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, you know that your mother could never be called that if she is truly committed to her reign.
And she is, you know your mother really is and Aemond knows it too, despite how much that makes him furious, but for his grandsire and his mother's ideas, reminding him that then Lucerys inherits all of Driftmark and he... inherits nothing.
Or at least, now he inherits nothing.
For had he married you, you being the second born daughter of the Heir, Dragonstone is your castle and that would have been home to both of you.
Aemond considers that Rhaenyra can probably have them killed… accidentally as well.
But you… seeing you now in front of him after so many moons apart and after all that happened, he still trusts you and really believes in what you have told him.
What purpose would Rhaenyra really have had in marrying her daughter to her half-brother and then killing him? It doesn't make any sense.
And just as every mother cares for the happiness of her children, Aemond knows he was your happiness and your mother would never do that to you. And you… seeing that he says absolutely nothing to you, you can only watch him with a somewhat satisfied look, nodding slightly in his direction.
"That's what I thought," you mutter to him without much emotion.
And the next thing you do, you turn away from him and start heading towards the balcony exit to return to your feast, leaving him behind, assuming you've already said everything you wanted to say to each other. But again Aemond doesn't let you go so easily and stops you.
"I want to wed you."
And to your bad luck, you really can't put up any resistance and turn to him again, with a bitter look on your face and feeling again what it might have been when you heard his words.
"You were already going to wed me, remember?"
"All right, you're right,' he tells you serious, letting out a long sigh, "I should not have done what I did to you, I should not have listened to my grandsire words, nor should I have accepted my betrothal to the daughter of Lord Borros."
"It is too late now, Aemond."
"I'm not marrying her, Y/N."
"Oh and you're seriously going to go against your grandsire?" you inquire not really believing it.
"I don't fucking care about my grandsire, Y/N!" he insists annoyed, quickly heading towards you, "He can fuck himself as well as his alliance with Lord Borros, I really don't care about him and neither do I care about my mother. All I want, all I've ever wanted… is you."
You snort, turning your gaze away from him for a moment, to again stare at him incredulously.
"And what is going to happen when the King dies?"
You ask, expectantly.
"Now you know that my mother has never thought nor will she ever harm you, your brothers, let alone Hel or her children, besides she is the true Heir… who assures me that the first thing you will do is support the right side and not support the idea of usurping my mother?" you question him, "Do you think I want you and I to live at war too? That we will eventually start hating each other by supporting two different sides?
"And what do you want me to do, Y/N?" he asks you in the same way, "I understand about my brothers and Helaena, but who assures me that your mother won't go for mine's head? She is my mother after all, I can't leave her alone."
"She won't do anything to your mother, Aemond!" you exclaim in exasperation, "The two of them loved each other as children, my mother hasn't forgotten how much she held her in high esteem in spite of everything and you think she would dare to hurt her? Think Aemond and forget everything your grandsire has told you!" you exclaim, "It is your grandsire who is doing all this, separating us, creating rivalry and hatred, it is for him that my mother will go if he does something against her, not for anyone else."
You make it more than clear to him while Aemond says nothing for a few seconds, watching and listening to you attentively, to which you continue to watch him without understanding, to then let out a long sigh and deny with your head.
"Still none of this matters, I have to go back," you tell him without much emotion to resume your way.
But again Aemond reacts and stops you by taking you firmly by the arm as he turns you towards him and holds you by the waist.
He pulls you completely towards him, while he places another of his hands on your cheek and brings his face dangerously close to yours, surprising you by such closeness and stealing your breath.
"Aemond," you say in a whisper.
You show him that this is wrong, but he doesn't mind at all, on the contrary, he brings his face closer to yours.
His breath hits your face, watching you again with that possession and that desire, completely attentive to your face, your beautiful face, while you don't understand anything but you know that if you try to pull away, he won't let you.
Although again you feel all that you used to feel before when he was courting you, realizing that you have never really stopped feeling this way for him, scaring you and making you feel disappointed because again… you must do your duty and so must he.
However, you can't help but feel really desired by him, just like before, all these thoughts invading you as you want to be his, just as you also want him to be yours, watching his face and lips intently unconsciously, unable to resist.
But this is wrong, completely wrong.
"What do I have to do, Issa jorrāelagon, to put all this behind so that you will agree to marry me?"
He murmurs more than willing on your lips, not letting go of you for a second, not willing to let go of you for a second, being terribly honest with you, this immediately catching your attention and again stealing your breath.
But it's not just his words, it's him, everything about him.
His face, his figure, his grip on you, so fucking alluring and attractive, which is what you hate but at the same time is also your weakness of him.
And despite that, despite the fact that even though you don't want to, you're slowly giving in to him, yet you still have some willpower and you don't just think about yourself, you can still think about the other people there at the feast.
"I-I can't," you look at him sadly, "Cregan Sta—
"Y/N."
He stops you making your grip on your waist tighter and his gaze more determined, really not wanting you to talk about him and wanting you to focus right now, on you,
"Just tell me what I have to do and so I will do it. Just tell me."
He insists and you… hesitate.
You haven't the slightest idea what to do.
"If I were him and I was watching the woman I love marrying someone else… I would wish things in my favor and no matter what, I would take her away from here and marry her in a heartbeat."
You remember Lord Cregan's words, as you continue to watch Aemond in front of you intently.
"I am already prepared for whatever you choose to do."
"All men are selfish, I include myself. But the decision is always up to you, the woman I love and all women."
"I will know your decision soon, princess. I will be here waiting."
Basically Lord Cregan Stark… was understanding with you and will already be prepared… if you choose this.
If you choose Aemond too, in the same way he has already chosen you over his family and his betrothed.
Then you think of your family, your mother and father, who will probably be very disappointed in you if you do not return and marry Lord Cregan, losing a great and important alliance with the man who owns the whole North.
But you remember what your mother was willing to do many years ago, when she was in the same position as you are now with Aemond, who completely forgot about the alliance and thought of her, her happiness, by asking the man she really loves to steal her away and take her to Dragonstone to marry her.
Now, knowing the history of your ancestors, how some of them chose love over duty, why shouldn't you do the same?
"Let my mother know what your grandsire is planning, avoid war," you tell him finally, "Kneel to her and swear your sword to her if you truly love me and if you wish me to marry you now."
In other circumstances, Aemond would have thought you are asking too much of him, but now that you both already know the truth, you his and he your mother's through you, he understands your point and thinks it is fair.
And if this is what he has to do so that you are finally his and he can finally call you his wife, which is all he has ever wanted, then so he will.
"Anything else?"
He gently caresses your cheek with his thumb and you, knowing with that his response, knowing that this is what he will do, finally stop feeling tense and let yourself be completely led by him, leaning into his body and his touch, feeling how slowly that weight on your shoulders disappears.
Just as you also Aemond feels that guilt stop invading him and finally now that he has you, he feels safe, loved and at peace.
"Promise me you won't break my heart again," you murmur against his lips.
Aemond gently shakes his head, leaning down to leave soft kisses on your cheek, starting a little trail, making you let out a sigh and place your arms around his torso, finally feeling you too at peace, having really missed this.
"Never again," he finally murmurs in your ear, sending shivers throughout your body and sounding like a promise.
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Everyone in the Throne Room begins to look uneasy when one of your guards that your mother sent to look for you returns and whispers in his and your father's ears that you have disappeared.
Immediately Princess Rhaenyra glances at Queen Alicent, who is already watching her and instantly understands what is happening, turning quickly to her father with an alarmed and worried face as they and in fact everyone at the table also notice the absence of Prince Aemond.
The fact of this news does not really go unnoticed as your father immediately orders his entire guard to search for you throughout the Keep, at the same time Otto Hightower also orders them to find his grandson.
Your brothers and sisters, as well as your mother have an idea of who you are with, considering he too is nowhere to be found.
While Princess Helaena in the center of the Room begins to hear the murmurs of all the nobles, especially the ladys as they watch the entire royal family curiously, wondering if the bride has disappeared, also watching Cregan Stark out of the corner of their eyes.
Cregan Stark also watches everyone around him curiously, as the news begins to spread quickly throughout the Room, earning the sorrowful glances of all the lords.
And when Cregan finally understands what is going on, just as he had told Princess Y/N, he was already prepared and immediately turns to look at Lady Alysanne, who looks at him in surprise and disbelief.
Prince Aegon continues to drink wine completely amused by the whole situation, really feeling proud of his brother, delighting in his grandsire's behavior and reaction.
Princess Rhaenyra rises from her seat and looks with her bewildered gaze at her husband, who watches her seriously but at the same time with a certain resignation.
"I told you this would happen," he tells her as everything continues to be chaos in the Room.
"Shall we go to them?"
Prince Daemon lets out a long breath, clutching Dark Sister's pommel that hangs at his hip.
"She and especially he better have a good excuse."
Your mother and father get the idea and are sure that's what you and Aemond are doing now and Alicent and Otto Hightower as well, feeling horrified at the idea compared to your parents.
But before Prince Daemon and Princess Rhaenyra set off, it is first the duty of both of them to bring order to the Throne Room and talk to Lord Stark, who doesn't really look bothered by anything, before going to find you and Aemond.
When the news that Otto didn't want to hear, reaches his ears, and that is that your dragon Silverwing has left DragonPit and they also saw Vhagar flying away in the skies some time ago.
Meanwhile in Dragonstone… considering Kings Landing is not far away and it's quick dragonback travel, you and Aemond are finally joining blood.
All the emotion comes over you, really everything being in favor of both of you calling a Septon who has been at your family's disposal all the time you have lived in Dragonstone, who agreed to perform the ceremony, while the maidservants brought you both the clothes your mother and father wore when they also had their Valyrian wedding.
And now being here with Aemond, it's really happening.
He holds Dragonglass in his hand as the Septon begins to recite the correct words in Valyrian, about to join his blood with yours, being just as excited as you are, but dissimulating a little more.
"Hen lantoti ānogar"
Blood of two
"Va sȳndroti vāedroma"
Joined as one
Aemond directs the blade to your lips to slightly cut your bottom lip, then you also do the same with him and so then both of you bring your thumb to the bleeding part and place blood on each other's foreheads.
"Mēro perzot gīhoti."
Ghostly flame
"Elēdroma iārza sīr."
And song of shadows
"Izulī ampā perzī."
Two hearts as embers
Then you both cut the palm of one of your hands with the blade, and then join the two cut hands so that the blood begins to drip and fall into the chalice in the middle of both of you.
All the while you watch with a small smile on your lips, really not believing that this is finally happening, while Aemond watches you with adoration in his eyes, with a barely visible small smile on his lips.
"Prūmī lanti sēteksi."
Forged in fourteen fires
"Hen jenȳ māzīlarion."
A future promised in glass
Once the chalice is considerably full, both drink from each other's blood, as is the tradition of Old Valyria.
"Qēnlossa ozūndessi."
The stars stand as witness
"Sȳndroro ōñō jēdo."
The vow spoken through time
"Rȳ kīva mazvestraksi."
Of darkness and light
And finally you both permanently seal your wedding and your love with a kiss, finally being husband and wife.
After that, you lead your now husband to your chamber, where as soon as Aemond closes the door behind him, you perfectly understand that look on his face, one of complete desire and in which you barely have time to react as he pulls you to him with force and kisses you with need.
If you didn't feel the same way he does, you would have asked him to slow down… but you are just as desperate and completely crave his touch, to feel him, to become one.
"I'm not going to let you rest, ābrazȳrys. Not now that I finally have you," he promises you in the midst of kissing, beginning to remove your clothes.
"Nyke jaelagon ao, valzȳrys," you murmur against his lips.
I want you, husband.
And Aemond completely delights in your word, husband… being everything he wanted to hear you say to him.
He again devours your lips like a man possessed, not having enough, needing more, not believing he will stop anytime soon, not caring that the whole castle hears your moans, wanting to hear you say his name, just his name, all the time.
Soon both of you are already in your bed, you completely naked, while Aemond just needs to take off his pants, the sight of his naked torso turning you completely delighted, his worked body being another of your weaknesses.
You begin to moan and sigh as Aemond begins to bite and suck on your nipples, completely kneading your breasts with both hands, his two large hands in firm, possessive motions.
You breathe fast, feeling the pleasure invade you, needing more, as well as your juices beginning to drip between your legs.
"Aemond," you gasp, pulling his face closer to your chest.
"Does it feel good?" he asks you in a whisper, licking your flesh, making you moan louder.
"Yes, yes, it feels so good."
Aemond smiles against your skin, then descends one of his hands, spreading your legs wider and touching your most sensitive part, your entire nerve core with his fingers. You arch and moan in complete arousal, as he strokes you up and down being easier for him because of your wet folds.
"Fuck," he murmurs, biting your breasts.
"Aemond!" you moan.
He pulls his face away from your breasts and focuses on your face never ceasing to skillfully move his fingers, delighting even more in your expressions and your lovely face, as he feels his entire manhood hard and in need of attention.
"What? You need me to prepare you properly, my wife?"
"Yes," you gasp, "Yes, please," you look at him pleadingly.
"What exactly do you need, princess?"
"Aemond," you sigh, your whole face contorted in pleasure.
"Do you need this?"
His middle finger enters you, making you sigh and gasp harder, pulling Aemond closer to you.
"Yes, yes, I need it so much," you say as best you can.
Aemond smirks again, kissing your lips, silencing your sounds for a moment, continuing to move his finger in the ideal way inside you, making you sigh, gasp and moan just as he needs.
"You look so pretty like this," he murmurs against your lips.
Without warning, he adds a second finger, which makes you squirm and begin to wiggle your hips against his hand, needing more, as Aemond kisses and marks the skin of your neck, bringing his other hand to one of your breasts, squeezing it and making you gasp more.
"You're going to feel so good around my cock, my beautiful wife," he murmurs in your ear.
Aemond in his fantasies has always wanted to taste you, just as he has always wanted to know how it would feel to have your lips around him, how pretty you would look, completely at his disposal, wanting to make him happy in just the same way he wants to make you happy.
But now… he really doesn't want to wait any longer. He needs to be inside you, now.
Considering you'll have more nights like this, everything he wants to do to you can wait, so without further ado he pulls away and stops touching you, instantly getting your attention, but you watch as he quickly gets rid of his shoes and pants, needing to free himself.
And when you see it, excitement and terror run through you at the same time.
You don't know if he will fully enter you, his size really scaring you, as Aemond watches your reaction completely proud of himself, leaning back into you as he makes his way between your legs.
"I need this, so much," he murmurs against your lips, kissing you, as with one of his hands he strokes himself.
"Take me, husband," you ask gasping, "Take me now."
Then Aemond's gaze turns dark and utterly possessive.
"You are mine, aren't you?"
"I am yours. Completely yours."
"You want me to fill you with my seed? Do you need it as much as I do?"
"Yes, yes, I need it, please," you ask, "Do it, Issa jorrāelagon."
Aemond doesn't need to listen anymore, he places his manhood at your entrance and slowly begins to thrust, while you press your lips together to avoid screaming too loudly and close your eyes tightly, feeling him open you completely as a pain and burning that is not at all pleasant washes over you.
"Shh, shh, my sweet wife," Aemond quickly comforts you, hugging and kissing you gently, stopping himself, "It's all right, all right. Tell me when I can move."
"It hurts," you murmur back, tears beginning to form in your eyes.
"I know, I know, it just happens at first, then it will feel good, I promise," he assures you softly to then kiss you again, taking all the time he needs with you, really not wanting to hurt you.
He distracts you by again caressing you, either touching your breasts, licking your nipples and also bringing one of his hands back to your nerve core, making you feel again the pleasure of before, without him moving inside you even an inch, waiting for you to get used to it.
When without realizing it, you again begin to moan and pleasure begins to run through your body, not even when Aemond cautiously begins to move inside you again, until all of him is inside.
That same pain and discomfort returns, but to a lesser extent. And when Aemond begins to gently move back and forth, you sigh and let your head fall back, finally feeling good.
At that, Aemond begins to take more confidence and moves his hips faster, each thrust being a wave of pleasure, causing you to cling completely to him and sigh between his face and neck.
"You like it just like that, my love?"
"Yes, Aemond, just like that," you murmur in his ear, delighted.
"Can I go faster?" he asks you in a growl.
"Yes, yes, it's all right."
Then Aemond adopts a new motion, faster and deeper this time, making you moan loudly again as he grunts and delights in each thrust, feeling you clench around him and your juices filling him completely making the penetration faster.
He holds you by the waist and penetrates you faster, bringing his mouth to your breasts again, marking all over your skin, never stopping moving, as you feel something start to grow inside you and need to be released.
Just like what he is feeling too.
That one night he doesn't just spill his seed inside you once, he does it more times, in different positions, as you both touch and caress each other, seeming like you can't get enough, Aemond telling you in your ear over and over again how much he loves you.
Until eventually you both finish and the next morning, you feel a satisfied tingle between your legs, as Aemond for the first time after a long time, feels good about himself, needing no more as he holds you in his arms, both of you still naked and resting from the intense and long night you shared.
You both wake up fully and prepare for the day, both knowing very well that you both have to go back to Kings Landing to face the consequences of your actions. But now that you're both married, neither you nor he really cares much, as long as you're together.
You finish breakfast, everything still feeling like a dream, a dream you really don't want to wake up from, when you hear the roar of dragons in the sky.
You immediately exchange a glance with Aemond, as the two of you watch through your windows and your mother's golden dragon along with your father's red dragon make themselves seen on the island.
You both knew this would happen, so you were already prepared, and truly not wanting to argue because everything is already done, they both leave the chamber and head out to greet your mother and father, the two of them mentioned ready to demand an explanation.
But before Prince Daemon explodes in anger at his nephew, the words and his action are completely forgotten when your mother, Princess Rhaenyra, watches as her half-brother takes his sword and kneels before her.
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a-simple-imagine · 2 months
Text
Perfectly Pathetic Pt.2
synopsis: you try to fix things with cady while maintaining your friendship with the plastics
pairing: regina george x fem!reader, elements of cady heron x fem!reader
words: 6.6k (6666 to be exact)
A/N - it’s here at long last besties!! get it while it’s hot because i might delete later idk how i feel about it
WARNINGS - swearing, toxic relationships and general toxicity, d-slur, and bullying
PREV //
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come Sunday, you wake up with a throbbing head and zero energy left in your body but memories sit crystal clear. you remember Regina trying to come onto you. her scaring Cady away. Gretchen rubbing your back as you listen to her whine about Jason for the millionth time. weird night. you check your phone but don't bother to reply to anyone except Karen who wouldn't stop sending you explicit details about some reality show she was binging. but alas the weekend was over and you're forced to brave the embarrassment of going back to school after a party. happens every time. people do dumb shit and are forced to face it on Monday.
the first person you come across is none other than the red-headed new girl herself. you have got to imagine she is mad at you after what happened; the lies Regina told. it was not your fault but you should probably try and make peace.
"Hey! New girl," yelled down the hallway, you walk a little faster in order to catch up. you watch her glance around a little confused as you approach.
"Oh," her expression seems to neutralise as she realises it's you. "hi."
"did you have a good Sunday?"
"it was alright," the fact she was speaking to you was a good sign. "I spent it with my mom."
"cute," you flash a smile. Cady was clutching her books pretty tightly. "I thought we should maybe talk about Saturday."
"We don't have to to."
"but I want to," you insist. "please?"
"Regina already told me,"
"Regina is a liar," you blurt out. hopefully, that wouldn't get back to her. "I don't know what she said exactly but it's not true," she looks at you with curious eyes. "I wasn't stringing you along or anything,"
"Sure,"
"I like you, Cady. you're... different," you express. "I wanna be your friend. and I was really happy when you showed up at the party,"
"Really?"
"mhmm," you hum, nodding to prove your point. "cross my heart." you mime the action of drawing a cross across your chest. you're not sure they're gonna forgive you but the bell for homeroom would ring at any moment so time was running out.
"Okay," replied after a moment. a small smile that's quick to fade.
"do you want to finish working on our assignment later?" you ask.
"Sure," they shrug. "meet you out front?"
you're not entirely convinced you're forgiven but you'll take what you can get. you're about to respond when your eyes spot Gretchen amongst the crowd. you lock eyes for a second before she bolts in the opposite direction. with a heavy sigh, you charge after her.
"Gretchen." yelled down the hallway causing a few heads to turn. people naturally darted out of your way but you almost smashed into a few people. "Gretchen," is she getting quicker? "will you just stop?" the answer was apparently no because she just kept going until you manage to grab her arm forcing her to stop. "what the fuck?"
"oh hey, I didn't see you back there." she lies, offering a less-than-genuine smile.
"I was literally yelling your name?" your brow furrowed. you could almost see the gears turning in her head trying to come up with some kind of excuse.
"Sorry, I'm tired- mustn't have heard you." was that the best she could do? you just roll your eyes.
"Can you not tell Regina I was talking to Cady."
"Why?" she asks despite already knowing the answer.
"Please, Gretchen? it's really not a big deal, okay so let's just keep it between us."
"I said you should stay away from her and you ignored me."
"I know and you were probably right but," you shrug. "it's too late and besides, I have to do a presentation with her, that's why we were talking. you can even ask Karen."
"I won't tell anyone." that was a lie. She won't tell anyone except Regina obviously. always trying to be in her good graces.
"if you promise not to tell, I'll... tell Jason something bad about Taylor? like she has crabs or something?"
her eyes light up at the prospect. "really?"
you nod. Taylor had never liked you so you weren't exactly on the best of terms and if making up some rumour about her gets Gretchen off your back then great. "but you can't tell Regina, deal?"
"deal," Gretchen smiles brightly. thank fuck for that. you start walking together now. "so what happened at the party?"
"don't you already know?" you tease. "thought that pretty little head of yours knew everything."
"I'm working on it."
you shrug. she'd probably find out eventually. "nothing really. Regina told Cady some stuff about me."
"that you don't like her and are only pretending to be her friend?"
"so you did already know,"
"I don't know what you see in Cady."
"I don't know." she just wasn't like anyone else. a new avenue to discover. most of these people you've known for years. the bell rings out and suddenly you remember you were supposed to drop off a take-home quiz by homeroom today. you had actually done it but forgot it was in your locker. "oh shit,"
"What?"
"I just forgot to hand something in i'll see you later," with a quick wave goodbye, you rush off back the way you've come. it wasn't like you were bad in school or anything. just sometimes you'd forget to bring in homework. one... or four late quizzes later and suddenly Ms. Norbury is giving you extra work to make up for it. it's not like you have a life or anything. As you grab the paper from your locker, Karen Shetty emerges.
"Morning," sang dazzlingly as she shoved your locker door closed.
"good morning," you smile softly, a glance over her outfit. "you're particularly chirpy today and look great,"
a tiny theatrical gasp, she puts a playful hand over her chest. "thank you,"
"where did you get the cardigan?"
"thrifted it,"
"oooh, I love that," you say. "also it goes so well with that super cute bracelet you're wearing,"
"Aw thanks, my friend made it."
"that's so cute, she must be a really great friend," you tease.
"she is," Karen nods. "where are you headed?"
"I gotta drop this off to Ms.Norbury or I'll fail math,"
"Can I come?"
it wasn't exactly an exciting trip so you don't know why she would want to? plus you were late for homeroom now. "I guess?"
"did you have fun at the party?" Karen inquiries as you begin towards Ms Norbury's homeroom class.
"it was alright,"
"I heard you got into a fight with Regina,"
"hardly a fight," you sigh. it was gonna be a very long day. "it's fine. you know how she can be,"
"was it over Cady?"
"Why does everyone suddenly care about Cady?" you stress. "it really doesn't matter."
a shrug. "I heard from Gretchen that Connor is grounded now because he didn't tell his parents about the party and they found out because somebody was sick in like a vase or something,"
"ew," you giggle, scrunching up your nose in disgust. "like they just found cold vomit in a vase?"
"mhmm," Karen nods eagerly. you make a fake gagging action as you knock on the open door. why is it always so awkward to walk into an already full classroom? ms. Norbury invited you further inside and you can't help but look at the people staring at you.
"so you do know how to hand things in on time," you resist the urge to roll your eyes. "great. now if you can just do that all the time."
"I make no promises," you answer, placing your homework down on her desk. when your eyes meet Cady's she waves a little. you flash a smile.
"come see me after school and I'll let you know how you did and if I need anything else from you,"
"Okay," you sigh. wasn't your first extra credit quiz. nor your last probably. you leave the classroom quickly, grabbing Karen's hand. she'd been waiting at the door.
"lots of people in there,"
"yeah because we're supposed to be in homeroom," you advise her.
"I didn't hear the bell,"
oh, Karen. "just come on."
it was a rather lifeless day thank god. you were grateful for the peace. and ms. Norbury hadn't given you any more work. you still had your tutor sessions but they never bothered you too much. now you're sitting staring at your laptop pretending you're doing research. Cady is scribbling in her notebook. Once again you're bored. and you can't help but watch Cady and wonder if she really has forgiven you. sure you were together right now but only because of this stupid presentation. you sit up a little straighter, taking a sip from your water bottle. "are you mad at me?"
it's sudden and she seems perplexed as she glances up at you. "huh?"
"I don't want you to be mad at me"
"I'm not mad," she urges, going back to her little scribbling. "you said Regina was lying, I believe you."
"just like that?" it seemed too easy.
"just like that,"
"how do you know I'm not lying about Regina lying though?"
"I don't." a shrug, she looks at you. "I'm just trusting you so can we please get back on track." you're not sure you would forgive someone as easily as this. it seemed naïve. or maybe she was just a better person than you. either way, this was what you wanted so...
"This is so boring," you whine loudly, pushing your laptop away so you can dramatically collapse against the table.
"if you actually help instead of complaining, we'd get it done quicker."
"Cady," you sigh loudly. "let's not, I'm just here to be pretty, okay? I shouldn't be forced to do homework too."
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure," you sit up properly once more. "ask away."
"Why do you hang out with Regina?" the question catches you a little off guard. why did she wanna know that?
"What does that have to do with the book?" you counter, a playful raise of your brow. "if you stayed on topic, we'd get it done quicker."
"I'm serious."
you shrug a little. "why wouldn't I? She's like one of my best friends."
"why though? I've seen the way she treats you,"
"you just don't get Regina," very few people did. sure she was kinda mean and pushy, you'd never deny that but the rest of the school didn't get to see her other side. which was also kinda mean but a tad softer. the blonde was fierce. if someone fucked with you, or Karen, or even Gretchen, she'd go to war. you've watched her destroy girls just to prop Gretchen up to Jason. maul boys for making fun of Karen. you only got away with half the shit you did because you were friends with Regina. maybe she kept you around because you showered her with love and attention but she, in her own way, gave it right back. "she can be a lot but she's really cool."
"she's horrible to literally everyone."
"yeah but that's like kinda funny," Cady gives you a look suggesting she doesn't agree which was fair but she didn't exactly pick the nicest people to be friends with. Damian was funny in class and you liked to tell him gossip that Gretchen told you. you never really spoke to Janis too much but you've seen her around. heard what she says about you. She makes jokes right to your face. "don't act like Janis doesn't do the exact same thing. why do you hang out with her?"
"That's different,"
"is it?" you challenge. "or is Regina just popular?" Cady seems to not have an answer because she goes back to the book. "she's my friend and I like her. simple as."
"I'm sorry for asking,"
"Don't worry about it," you weren't particularly angry. you knew how people viewed Regina. a mixture of high admiration and fear. "So did you enjoy your first party?"
"yeah. not exactly what I was expecting,"
"they're not all like that," you urge. "sometimes they're fun. sometimes you wanna stab yourself in the eye to get out of it."
"did you have fun?"
"fun is not the word I would use but it was an experience," After Cady left you kind of just sulked with Gretchen until Karen found you and insisted you had to dance together. you spent the rest of the night with her. "I'm happy you came. I wish Regina hadn't messed everything up."
"sorry I left."
"you don't have to apologise." you smile. "we're hanging out now even if you're making me do homework. and there's always next time."
"I'm not making you do homework," Cady argues. you just smile. shuffling along the bench so you're right beside her. She has the book open in front of her and a notebook full of scribbles. you repeatedly tap the notebook with your finger.
"Are these not notes for our project? is that not homework?"
"yeah but these are my notes," she expresses, snatching up her notebook to place on the side away from you. As your eyes meet, you can almost pinpoint the exact moment she gets flustered. a dusting of pink gracing her cheeks. "you're just fucking about."
a dramatic gasp before a smile takes over. "I would never."
Cady smiles and before you have time to react she is leaning in to connect your lips in the softest of embraces. it reminds you of the first time Regina kissed you. only it never had the chance to become anything more before you pull back.
"Sorry- I didn't. I don't know why I did that." that dusting of pink is now a deep shade of red. panic in her voice. eyes firmly on her homework. you're unsure of what to say exactly. you liked Cady. maybe even the same way she apparently liked you. but you just weren't sure yet.
"It's alright, don't worry about it," you express. "uh... should we get back to the book?"
you weren't mad or upset with Cady. her kissing you had just left you feeling... weird? so even as you parted ways and you got texts later in the evening, you couldn't bring yourself to reply. you just needed some time to think.
Lunchtime is weird. Everyone is quiet. Painfully quiet. Karen and Gretchen are just eating their lunch. Regina is staring at the label of her yoghurt. you're sat there anxiously like a child bursting with energy. this was so unlike them. "can someone just talk already," you blurt out. a little startled, everyone looks at you. "sorry. just nobody is talking and it's freaking me out. normally Gretchen never shuts up."
"why are you even here?" Regina asks, twisting the dessert in her hand. you wish she'd just eat it instead of inspecting it.
"why wouldn't I be?"
"shouldn't you be over there with the pyro-dyke and her band of freaks." her head nods in the direction she means but her eyes never leave that stupid label. the nickname referred to Janis and Band of Freaks must mean Cady and Damian.
a sigh. "you're being ridiculous,"
"I'm being what?" Regina asked firmly. her yoghurt placed down slowly as her eyes zone in on you. sharp and daring. Karen gently nudges your leg with hers but you're not sure if it was an accident or a warning. you glance at her and then at Gretchen who is keeping her eyes firmly on her food.
"nothing. sorry," you say softly.
"stand up," voice low but commanding. you can't tell if she's serious so you remain seated. watching her. "stand up. now." she was louder now. attracting attention. putting on a show as various people looked to see what the commotion was. "you wanna run around with freaks and lesbos, then go."
"Are you-"
"go." you swallow hard. willing yourself not to crumble under the pressure of everyone's gaze. you could argue back but you know better than to challenge her when she's this pissed off. so you just push up, grab your tray and leave the table. you lock eyes with Janis along the way who is next to Cady. you can't join them like Regina so angrily implied, it'd just make things worse for them and yourself.
your last few classes of the day are spent wondering what you've done to piss off Regina today. you've hardly even seen her. maybe Gretchen told her about the hallway yesterday? She promised not to plus this seemed like a massive overreaction. you're at your locker, grabbing your stuff when Gretchen approaches. "Regina said if you can behave yourself you're allowed to come shopping with us,"
"hello to you too Gretchen," you slam the metal door shut. "no thank you.."
"Seriously?"
"she basically banished me from the cafeteria today, why would I wanna go anywhere with her?" you ask but it was mostly rhetorical as you start down the hall.
"you know she was only joking," the brunette trails after you.
"was she? felt pretty real to me,"
"that's just her humour," Gretchen assures you. "you have to come. Regina will be upset,"
"Regina doesn't have emotions," you fire back, pushing through the double doors, you almost collide with another person. "Jesus, watch out."
didn't take long to realise who it was. "it's Karen actually,"
"I know your name, baby" you pat her shoulder. "why are you right outside the door?"
"waiting for you," she takes your hand. "we're going shopping."
"I don't wanna do that," you express but Karen is already leading you towards Regina's jeep. "Karen, let go" you groan but put up little resistance. the blonde is leaning against the side eyes on you as you're being dragged across the front lawn.
"you found her then," the blonde comments, pushing away from the metal of her jeep. "thought we'd have to start putting up lost dog posters or something."
"why am I even here?"
"Isn't it obvious- get in the car." Regina climbs in and everyone else does the same. "we need someone to carry the bags."
why were you here? why had you given in so easily? You didn't even want to go shopping and now you're staring at yourself in the wall-length mirror of a dressing room, trying on outfits. with a heavy sigh, you step through the curtain
"what do you think?"
"you look great," declares Gretchen.
"beautiful," an eager Karen. She had picked it out.
Regina turns from the large mirror at the end of the space where she was inspecting the dress she was trying on to you. "ew." is all she says before turning back.
"yeah, I never liked it," Gretchen remarks quickly.
"try this," Karen shoves a hanger in your hand before pushing you back towards the dressing room. you stare at your reflection once more. you didn't think it looked too bad but maybe Regina was right. it wasn't exactly your style but that's because Karen picked it. it was more you than most of the outfits she tried to get you to wear... it did sit a little weirdly. you can hear Regina talking to the girls, sending them each on an errand. and then it's silent. you begin to undress when the blonde calls your name. you stop what you're doing. She says it again and you walk out.
"what's up?" you question cautiously. you weren't about to let your guard down around her.
"what do you think of this dress?" the blonde spins to face you. hands on her hips. your brow furrows. why did she want your opinion? your eyes drift. taking in Regina. notice every curve. She really was a sight to behold.
"looks good."
"That's all I get?"
"What were you expecting?"
The girl turns back. "A shower of complements but guess you're not even good for that anymore."
"I said it looks good?"
"I'm done with you now. go change out of that ugly outfit already."
you wanna say something but you decide to just bite your tongue and head back into the dressing room.
come the weekend, Regina is out of town with her parents which means you've ended up with babysitting duties. Gretchen and Karen had both decided they were coming over to your place. you didn't mind. so now you're loitering on the bed with your back against your headboard scrolling through your phone. Karen is snuggled up in half a blanket using your lap as a pillow also scrolling through her phone. it's silent but comfortable. Gretchen vanished about ten minutes ago and hasn't returned. "do we have to start hanging out with Cady?"
"What?" you glance down from your phone. 
"I don't wanna hang out with her, she's creepy."
"that's not very nice, Karen," you scold. "but no. why would we?"
"Because you're like a thing now," Karen answered, pressing her phone to her chest. She meets your stare. "you kissed"
"excuse me?" your heart practically skips a beat. you undoubtedly hadn't told anyone that Cady kissed you and you're almost certain she hadn't.
"what? Gretchen told us that she saw you and Cady making out after school on Monday," Gretchen fucking weiners. of course. but how did she know?
"by us you mean?"
"me and Regina," fuck.
"When was this?" you wonder. and as if summoned on cue, Gretchen emerges through the doorway and you can't help but raise your voice. "you told Regina I was making out with Cady?"
"What?"
"Karen told me so don't lie," you demand. "I thought we had a deal."
"I didn't tell her about the hallway."
"Are you stupid?" you press. Gretchen sits on the edge of your bed, fluttering her eyelashes.
"I'm sorry," a hefty sigh. the girl shuffled up the bed so she was beside you. "are you mad at me?"
"Obviously."
"but you love me?" you don't reply and she nudges your shoulder with hers. "right?" you stay silent, glimpsing at her withan empty expression. you did love her but you were pissed off with her right now.
"look at this," Karen shoves her phone straight up and into your view. it shows a picture of herself. you assume she had just taken by the outfit.
"adorable," you smile walmly but it quickly fades. Gretchen had very much fucked you over. That day with Cady, you hadn't seen anyone around other than a few stray students. why was Gretchen even still there? and why hadn't she asked you about it before telling Regina?
"did you see what Kelsey posted today?" Gretchen questions, pulling out her phone. "it's so pathetic. like she's clearly doing it just for attention." you let your head fall back against the wall as Gretchen proceeds to talk in your ear. your mind drifts to the day in the cafeteria when Regina embarrassed you in front of everyone. you had thought it was an extreme reaction to a conversation in the hallway but turns out it was because of the kiss. was she that jealous of the idea of you and Cady? That made little sense when she was running around with Shane.
"Does Regina hate me?"
"of course not," Gretchen insists, a comforting hand placed on your shoulder. "you know anger is basically her love language. she just cares a lot."
"Regina thinks Cady is a freak," Karen contributes. "and that you hanging out with her makes us look bad."
"We were just doing homework."
"I saw you kiss her," Gretchen retorts.
"she kissed me,"
"you have been hanging out with her a lot," Karen states
"and you invited her to Connor's party," Gretchen resumes.
"yeah but..." you trail off because you really don't have a comeback. All those things were very much true. "this is stupid."
"if you had just listened to me-"
"Jesus, we get it Gretchen" you huff sharply and then feel bad for it. "sorry but you have to stop saying that- I should be able to talk to a girl without it being the end of the world."
"maybe talk to less weird girls?" Karen proposes brightly. "like me.... or Gretchen.... oooh or Regina."
"Thanks for the suggestion." you tap her nose gently, making her face scrunch up. "but I meant other than you three."
"you can talk to whoever you want," Gretchen reassures you, dropping her head to your shoulder. "as long as Regina approves."
"you sound insane,"
Gretchen shrugs. Karen's attention has returned to her phone. and you were suddenly so aware of how insane being friends with Regina George truly is.
the bell for first period has you walking down the hallway towards your history class. you share it with Gretchen who you haven't spoken to since Sunday. you're still mad at her.
"Hey, can we talk?" your brow furrows a little. it was Regina. and you were still mad at her too for last week.
"I have to get to class," you huff but she doesn't take the hint; instead she takes your hand and drags you straight into the nearest closet. it smelt like chemicals, dust and... vanilla. you imagine the vanilla is the girl, not the room.
"what the hell?"
"Just give me a minute,"
"why are we in a closet?" you wonder. it was cramped. a painfully buzzy lightbulb hung over head, flickering through an array of intensities. shelves full of supplies.
"I'm sorry, okay?" your eyes were looking anyway but at her until now. staring into blue-green eyes. did she just... apologise for something? was this a dream? your dreams never normally included Regina apologising but that seemed like the only way this could be real. "I'm sorry I got mad over you and Cady. you've just been acting weird since she joined"
"Are you... fucking with me right now?""
"what? I can't apologise?"
"I never said that," you did imply it but you would never say it. "I'm just confused." a shrug of your shoulders.
"I just don't like it. I don't like her," she wasn't about that. you weren't confused about her feelings towards Cady. you were confused as to why she was apologising for it? also, why do you have to do this in the closet? couldn't you have done this in a place with such a dizzying aroma? "I get like angry when I see you together. and then when Gretchen told me you kissed her-"
"she kissed me."
"Whatever," a dismissive wave. "I mean, it just was a lot y'know."
"not really" Your brow furrows.
"you're not that fucking dense, are you?" as the blonde takes a step forward, you take a step back crashing into a bucket and mop. She grabs your wrist. maybe an attempt to save you? "careful." said much softer. caring almost. it makes you suspicious. more so than the apology you hardly believed in the first place.
"we're gonna be late for class," you answer quietly. you try to pull your arm away but her grip doesn't falter. it's firm and tight; possessive almost. "Regina, please,"
"you promised to stay away from her," Regina mentions softly. you think back to that day. Regina straddling your lap. hands on your chest. moving against you. soft lips. it makes you blush. she pulls you closer. "promised you didn't like her more than me." her other hand gently cups your cheek. "was all that a lie?"
"no," you shake your head slow and stern. "no. i-"
"you kissed her." stated firmly.
"she kissed me," you argue back. her fingers press a little harder into your cheek.
"don't remember asking," expressed as she leaned in close. hot breath hitting your skin. vanilla fills your nostrils. "tell me you love me," whispered. you swallow hard. "please."
"Regina..." grip on your wrist tightens.
"go on."
"I... love you," you sound more confused than sure.
"more than cady?"
"you're my best friend,"
a once gentle hand now grips your chin. "more than Cady?" asked again.
"uh... more than Cady,"
"say you're obsessed with me." her lips loom mere inches from yours threatening a kiss.
"I'm... obsessed with you." her eyes are so intense, it's kinda scary. it's always treacherous being so close to her.
"Good," her lips press into yours. fierce and strong. but gone just as quickly. "I'll see you at lunch." she lets go and leaves without another word. The door to the closet closes with a click. insane. you remain for a few minutes. a little lost. a little confused. then you leave for class.
sat at a table under the beautiful shade of a massive umbrella during your free period. Cady is opposite. Gretchen was supposed to be here too but you don't know what happened to her. probably worried about sitting with Cady. "why are you doing work?"
"It's a study period. you should also be doing work,"
"It's almost lunchtime don't be ridiculous," you groan loudly. the bell rings mere moments later bringing a smile as the animals are released from their classrooms out into the wild. "see."
"you didn't do anything,"
"never do. That's half the fun of a free period before lunch."
"hey baby," that was Regina's voice. you look up promptly, half expecting her to make a comment or demand your presence but instead, she takes a seat right beside you.
"Hello," you try not to think about earlier. about how weird this is and focus on the fact she seemed to be in a good mood. her arms snake around you, drawing you back into her embrace.
"Cady,"
"hi Regina,"
"you look good today," Regina comments. your brow furrows. she was being weirdly affectionate. should you be concerned? probably but you were gonna enjoy her openness. the last week had been so weird and you kinda of just wanted things to go back to normal. and while this wasn't exactly normal, you prefer this to outward anger.
"thank you,"
"Now say it back," you roll your eyes but wear a playful smile.
"you look radiant Regina," said playfully. She gives you a quick squeeze and you finally settle in her embrace.
"I know," hummed in your ear. "so do you wanna come to mine after school?" muttered in your ear.
"what's the occasion?"
"I want you to," Regina declared. "why does it matter? you're coming over."
"am I now?" you ask playfully.
"We should get food," Regina lets go and gets up. you watch her for a moment expecting her to bark a demand but she doesn't. she just walks away. it freaks you out so you bid farewell to Cady and go scampering after the blonde.
"you good?"
"course," she states as you fall in step.
"you're being strange," you observe. "I was half expecting you to drag me away from that table."
"what's the point?" she asks. "you'd just go running back to the little nerd."
"no running is involved."
"running. skipping. drooling." the blonde teased. when you enter the lunch room, Gretchen is already sitting alone at your usual table. "like a love-sick little puppy dog."
"Okay, ew, no,"
"where have you been?" Gretchen wonders as you approach. She knows where you've been. you text her.
"no love involved whatsoever,"
"Who are you in love with?" Gretchen asks.
"no one,"
"I got tater tots," Karen announces as she zooms past with a try, taking a seat at your lunch table.
"oooh, they have tots today? let's go get food," you grab Regina's hand and start pulling her towards the food. Gretchen comes scrambling after the two of you. "I'm starving."
"aren't you always," Regina comments. the sea parts as she leads the way to the front of the line. it's unfair. but you never call her out. you always take advantage.
"Who are you in love with?" Gretchen repeats
"nobody, we moved on,"
"god keep up Gretchen," Regina huffs. you're so excited about your tater tots you practically run back to the table with your little tray. your two friends in toe. you take your usual seat next to Karen. Regina sits opposite with Gretchen.
"Cady keeps looking over here," Karen announces, popping a tot in her mouth. "it's creeping me out."
"she's so weird," Regina sighs. "if she's anything like her freaky friends it's because she's obsessed with our dear sweet puppy,"
"she is not obsessed with me,"
"This is what happens when you give losers attention, " Regina persists. "they think they have a shot. soon she's gonna think she can just come over and talk to us and it's your fault."
"Firstly, she would never do that. She's intimidated by you," you express. "secondly. she is sweet, you gotta lay off her."
"as she should be," the blonde looks disgusted. "also gross. She's so fuckin weird."
"you guys are being mean,"
"Is it mean if it's true?"
"still yes," you insist. "I like cady."
"We know," Gretchen states. Regina shoots her a dirty look.
"you don't get to talk Gretchen," Regina spits. "you never shut up about Jason like he's not disgusting."
"Cady would be cute if she just learnt how to dress. and do her makeup," Karen interjects.
"I don't even think that would help."
"Can we stop talking about her please?"
"don't wanna hear us shit talk your girlfriend."
"not my girlfriend." you argue. "but I would like this to end. quickly. let's go back to Jason that dude fuckin sucks."
"he's so sleazy," Karen adds. and the conversation flows into something other than you and Cady. thank god.
you're lying on Regina's couch. in Regina's room. alone. after school. you expected Karen and Gretchen to be here too but alas they weren't here. after this morning, you wouldn't be surprised if this was some cult worship ceremony. the door creaks open and in walks the infamous blonde. a glance before going back to your phone.
"my mum wants to know if you're staying for dinner,"
"am I?" you don't even know why you're here. and knowing Regina she could kick you out at any moment.
"I said yeah but you don't have to," a shrug.
"guess you're not mad at me anymore then,"
"When was I mad at you?" she questions, sitting down on her bed.
"When are you ever not?" you tease. "sometimes I think you hate me."
"if I hated you, you wouldn't be here," the blonde comments.
"you've been so short with me recently." you sit up properly.
"Because you've been acting different." the girl insists. "and it's weird. and I don't like it. I want you to go back to how you were."
"I don't even know how I've been acting different?" you lean back. "I think you're just jealous."
"jealous of what?"
"Cady." you see her eyes narrow. jaw tense.
"you are obsessed with her."
"not obsessed," you correct. "I don't even know what is going on between me and Cady."
"but you like her?"
you shrug. "do you like her?"
"no," it makes you smile for some reason. same old Regina. number one cady hater. "not even a little. she's strange. can't dress for shit. really awkward."
"tell us how you really feel," you chuckle a little.
"you'll just call me mean," like she wasn't already being mean.
you shrug. "I like when you're mean."
"I know," a smile quirks at her lips. the blonde pats the space next to her. "come here,"
"why?"
"Just come here," a dramatic sigh. you push up and cautiously walk over to sit down next to her. "why are you acting so scared of me?"
"I don't know," you shrug. "kinda expecting you to push me off the bed or something."
"why would I do that?" her brows furrowed.
"Because you're evil," a smirk slowly takes over her lips. you nudge her softly with your shoulder.
"I love it when you call me evil,"
"I know," you reply. "because you're obsessed with me."
"you wish."
"I don't have to wish," you tease. "because you're obsessed with me."
"you're really pushing your luck here," Regina comments. "stop." her tone suggested she was done playing. the blonde falls back against her bed. you just look at her as she starts typing on her phone. "and stop staring at me freak."
"but you're so pretty,"
"your girlfriend wouldn't like you saying that."
"not my girlfriend," you insist. "no more than you are." the blonde doesn't respond and you both fall into a comfortable silence. you lie down beside her. "why did you invite me over?"
"make out. prove a point. why do you think i asked in front of cady?" you just shrug. the girl sighs loudly and discards her phone off to one side before rolling onto her side to look at you. you just turn your head to face her.
"for someone so smart, you really are stupid," you'd be offended but there was hardly a point. she just watches you, watching her. you crack under her gaze and look away but she just reaches over and forces you to look at her. "do you know why I keep you around?"
"Because you love me?" said playfully but quietly. you know it's not the answer she was looking for.
"I like the way you look at me," she admitted quietly. "everyone stares at me but you... you look at me like I'm the only person in the entire world." she went on. "like you just can't get enough." you don't know what to say. Regina was like nobody you had ever met but in a different way to Cady. She just commanded attention. a beauty beyond words. and sometimes you wonder why you ever caught her eye. the girl shuffles closer now. "you can run around with freaks. you can be confused about Cady. but at the end of the day, none of it matters." that hand on your jaw loosens and begins to trail down over your neck. "you'll always come running back to me."
"What makes you think that?"
"It's in the way your breath hitches when I'm close. the way your eyes linger when I walk away. the way you so easily melt under my touch," her voice was gentle but taunting. her hand slipping lower and lower down the length of your body. you could hear your heart beating loudly in your chest. an onset wave of heat flushing your cheeks. "I can say or do whatever I want," her hand stops at your thigh, squeezing roughly. body leaning into yours. pressing you further into the plush fabric of her bed. "and you'll always be mine." whispered sharply before her lips meet yours and the fire makes the rest of the world melt away. you reach up to draw her closer. deepen the kiss and the way she groans makes your head spin. but then she pulls away unexpectedly. "oh I forgot to mention Shane is coming over after dinner so you gotta be gone by then. Cool?" you can feel the emotions stirring. it's weird and confusing. Shane's name fills you with anger; annoyance even. through no fault of his own. was she fucking serious? but at the same time you couldn't move. maybe a wiser person would have stopped everything right here. walked away with their dignity in their hands. Cady was probably a safer option. she liked you. and maybe you liked her too. but there was just something about Regina. being on her good side meant the world worked for you too. it was a world you'd become so accustomed to, you can't imagine it any differently. you can't imagine a life without the blonde. you didn't want to leave. you wanted to chase the high of each kiss. the pain as her nails dig into your skin. the firey mess of being with her.
"cool." you nod simply, pulling her back into the kiss. dignity was overrated when it came to Regina George anyway.
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diejager · 9 months
Text
Bittersweet Devotion pt.2
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Pairing: Miguel O’Hara x fem!reader
Cw: angst, heartbreak, mention of cheating, mention of death, no happy ending, apology, tell me if I missed any. wc: 9.3k
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Previous
Your universe, Earth-XXX, was a parallel one to Earth-616 in some sense. You had a Peter Parker, a Gwen Stacy and a Mary Jane Watson, it had everything down to the death of Ben Parker and the devastation it brought to your friend. It was the same year as Spider-Man 616’s world, it had the same political standing and same history. Your world, like many others, was a near carbon copy of 616, down to the smallest things; but like others in the spiderverse, you had differences. Some were minor changes in the course of its canon story, others were major changes in the characters and the era.
You - like Miguel, Miles, Jess, Hobart (he liked going by Hobie), Patrick and Patriv - were one of those major deviations in the original canon. You didn’t exist - or so you thought - in Peter B. or Peter’s universe even though you lived in the same year. The reason might be that in the reality, the sum of all potential universes that paralleled each other, created the multiverse - the Spiderverse. 
The concept of it seemed strangely unlimited, the infinite possibilities to a different ending or a different start for its world. The multiverse was, in some sense, as old as time, a culmination of everything made imaginable by man. Found in ancient texts - the Puranas, ancient Hindu mythology - that expressed the infinite number of universes with their gods and principles. Whereas Persian literature - tales - touched the idea of learning about alternate universes that were similar, yet distinctly different from theirs. 
Misconstrued by many, the strangeness of it was deemed a danger, the unknown possibilities were feared by people of older age, but venerated in the past as it was in the present for the unfathomable possibilities. It exists in fiction, where they borrowed the idea of many worlds within a reality from myths, legends and religion. Heaven, Hell, Olympus and Valhalla were all reflections of a familiar world, a material realm for the blessed, the sinful, the gods, and the worthy. The similarities sometimes frightened you, how close the people were to knowing of the reality you all lived in. The tangibility of crossing worlds and bringing about chaos to every string, every realm, every material form of the multiverse. 
They, after all, were real, Hell as much as Heaven in your universe. Gods from every religion, either monotheistic or polytheistic, some you’d personally seen are Thor and Loki, brother and sons of Odin the Allfather, and the God of Thunder and Mischief respectively. Another was a big crocodile lady, Ammit, from what you’d heard from the all-knowing Dr. Strange. From God to Norse and Egyptian gods, from angels and demons, and from humans to mutants, your plane of existence was as wide as it could go without drifting off the edge and causing a mass domino effect within the multiverse.
You were curious, naturally so for a scientist, exploring the worlds that felt familiar to you but you hadn’t truly grasped -  different, yet similar. You hadn’t given a second thought to exploring yours. After all, why explore yours when your horizon was as broad as you imagined it, unperturbed by any limits when it came to the multiverse? The eternal and unlimited growing number of realms in your expanding reality.
Perhaps that was the reason why you hadn’t known your universe had its own Miguel O’Hara. You rarely came back for anything, you had everything you’ve ever wanted in Nueva York, Earth-928. You have friends who could truly understand you, people who stood beside you when you fought, youngsters who looked up to you for mentoring and a dream- or it was a dream. Dreams, not dissimilar to wishes, were hopeful, naive in a way, they came and went. Some dreams would come true, while others fell, like the fallen stars that crossed the night sky.
Yours simply happened to be a fallen one, one not meant to happen and become greater. You let it go after he dropped you, after he turned his back and let his mouth run unperturbed. He brought her up, someone he swore he would remember but left in the past. A new chance to become something, to become whole again, and Miguel took it. He wanted to start anew, fresh with someone he never met, you wanted the same; you both had what you wished for, until he put his foot down, cutting the thin web that connected both your lives.
It broke your heart. Months of patience and anxiously stepping around each other, nervous about breaking the trust freshly built between you both, lost in a few weeks. You were brittle, heart fractured and threatening to fall further apart if someone was any crueller to you. The smallest glare, the tiniest scoff or the weakest remark would send you reeling into the abyss of heartbreak and the throes of anguish. Yet somehow, you found yourself being led away by a copy of the Miguel you loved. 
He mumbled apologies as he held you tightly, his arm over your shoulder as he cradled you under his umbrella, hastily urging you to follow his guidance. If it were any other person, you would’ve been wary, cautious of any strangers that touched you so closely and chaperoned you so quickly; but this was Miguel, a man you trusted and that you still trusted wherever he came from. Earth-XXX’s Miguel O’Hara was still similar to the one you knew, someone you could trust. You did.
He led you to his flat, someplace near Alchemax’s building in Manhattan, a safe neighbourhood for the richer citizens of Manhattan. A cozy place of neutral tones and muted colours, yet warm as he welcomed you - a stranger as of yet - into his home. He had machinery strewn around, reports stacked on his coffee table and smaller things he had been tinkering about decorating his home. As a geneticist, he liked to play with machinery, having drawn his designs and models, built his creations from scratch and worked from the base programming to make something better. At least Miguel from Earth-928 did, and it seemed this one did as well. 
You stood in his shower, where he left you in a frenzy to bring you dry clothes, drying out your hair with the towel he motioned you to use. You doubted that he had anything your size, his broad shoulders and his towering height, nothing he had in his draws - and the boxes he stowed away in his closet - would fit you. They would drag down your ankle and sit low on your collar. Granted, you were soaked down to your socks and had no temporary clothes to cover yourself with during your stay. 
You had stripped from your soaked clothes and patted down your wet skin, shivering from the cold that clung to your bones even after Miguel had increased the heater in the small confines of the bathroom. It was small but big enough to move around and stretch your arms comfortably. You hadn’t felt the cold until he brought you to his bathroom, the numbness of the past months weighing heavily on your shoulders and the bleeding of your heart made everything seem so meaningless. The colours draining from the world around you, a once bright New York turned grey, the monochrome tones of black and white mixing and interlacing to form even more boring shades. 
The vibrancy and life you once saw around you dulled and died suddenly, like the winters brought by Demeter’s devastation and sadness when her daughter was taken from her, stolen from the berth of flowers she liked frolicking about. How Demeter doomed the world to see her pain, to feel how she felt in the moments her daughter had to return to her husband than stay with Demeter. You felt laden by your faults and his actions. Doubtful of your relationship, of what led you both to such an ending. Had you been clearer or more forthcoming about your emotions, or had you confronted him for his behaviour, would you still be in his arms? 
Were you at fault for missing something you had relied on as comfort and safety? Could you be blamed for his reaction to your meddling in his affairs in the Society? Could you blame him for dropping those words on you? After all, being reminded or compared to a past lover was anything but gentle, the gut-wrenching envy and betrayal you felt flash through you was nearly drowning. It made you feel lacking, to be reminded of his old flame, the one he was about to marry and the person he seemed to love before all. Could you even compare to what she was; what she did? (Dina had cheated on him, you knew that, but he was truly happy in their moments of pleasure and domesticity. They were a family until she died.)
You were drowning in your self-made sorrow when his voice called you, grounding you to the room. Standing before a door, naked and shivering, arms wrapping the damp towel around your shoulders. He called again, cracking the door open to pass you the - his - clothes he thought would fit you. He coughed as you took your temporary wear, your cool fingers brushing his warm ones. It was a sudden and jerking contact, you pulled back jerkingly, a shamble of an apology and a thank you flew from your tongue. His chuckle was a reassurance in the complete quietness of the flat, his low voice reminding you of better times. 
The sweater hung loosely around you, dipping down your collar to expose your shoulder. It was warm, the cotton used to make it still soft after being stored away and the soothing scent of spice and pine deeply integrated into the fibres. The pants were stretched around your hips, the tight fabric thin and flexible under stress, hidden under the long shirt. The legs, however, swayed loosely around your limbs, too big for your calves, but tight enough to hug your thighs. He had certainly made sure to bring you clothes that would fit your frame. You hadn’t attempted to smell his pants, you thought it would’ve been too intrusive and disgusting to do so if only to smell a remnant of Miguel on his as you did on the sweater. 
Miguel was waiting for you in the kitchen, his back turned to you as you ambled towards him. His shoulders loose and back relaxed in the presence of a stranger made you appreciate how good-natured he was in most universes you’d been to. He turned his head, gesturing you to sit on the chair facing him on the island as he returned to something he was making while you changed. 
“I hope you don’t mind hot chocolate,” he started, voice light and hopeful as he turned to you, cup in each hand as he moved to stare at you. “I’m not one for tea.” He slid the warm mug into your hand, eyes watching your expression as he slowly sipped on the hot beverage. 
His eyes squinted slightly when your lips curled upwards, a smile hidden by the steaming mug. You cupped the mug, feeling the warmth of the freshly brewed drink, the steam rising in soft curls and melting in the cooler atmosphere. Tentatively, you brought the rim to your lips, slowly tilting the cup. The powerful taste of chocolate hit you strongly, the sweet and dark liquid melting the tension in your muscles until you could curl over the table with an appreciative sigh. 
“Thank you…” you knew his name, wanting to call him, but his reaction would be unwanted, the shock, fear and suspicion that would fill his beautiful, brown eyes. So you slurred your words, dragging out your voice until he could tell you his name himself.
“Miguel. Miguel O’Hara, ” he nodded, cocking his head upwards, pointing at you with his chin. “What’s your name? I can’t keep calling you Hey every time I want to call you.” His lips broke into a cheeky smile, teasing you when he saw that you’d comfortably melted into the drink and his island chair. He wanted to ease the tense atmosphere from before into something much calmer, to help the accumulated tension in your shoulders to fall like the rain that clouded the streets of New York.
You let out a hoarse chuckle, your throat still fresh from crying, and told him your name, trying to stabilise your shaking tone. His cheeky smirk tugged at your heartstrings, you hadn’t seen Miguel laugh or smile this freely in months. You missed it. The casual banter you shared and the on-and-off insults you’d hurl at one another, all good-natured insults meant to rile him. 
“Thank you, Miguel,” you nearly choked when you uttered his name, the wound still so fresh and bleeding it slip from your tongue easily. It brought up so many memories, both painful and joyful. Your eyes glazed over, tears threatening to fall once again, to paint your cheeks with agony that you - him, or perhaps both of you - had brought on yourself. “Thank you…”
Miguel hummed sympathetically, eyes staring down at his drink, deep in thought. Perhaps he was thinking of a way to invite you to share your problems, to tell him why you broke down on the street in stormy weather. Or maybe he was thinking of the fastest way to kick you out, to get rid of the mess you became. The silence, however, was reassuring, calming the nerves that followed the eerie calmness of Miguel’s den or the loud, hectic atmosphere of the Society. His warm, worrying gaze grounded you, the softness behind his concerned stare was heartwarmingly nostalgic.
“Difficult breakup?” His words seemed hesitant, unsure of his conclusion to the cause of your appearance. Unknowingly, he had struck gold, pinning down the right problem in your life with a few observations. Of course, he was observant and aware of his surroundings, why else was he so willing to bring you into his home? 
“How’d ya know?”
His sigh was telling, the deep, concerned and tired breath was only used when he knew that you wouldn’t tell him what ailed you, like the groan of a disappointed, yet worried father. 
“Because I know how it feels,” he says slowly, pensive over his words, picking them carefully to not damage you further than your ex had. He knew the pain of a harsh breakup, the pain and sorrow that followed, like a dark cloud that hovered over you whenever you were awake. 
“Why?” You croaked.
“Why?” he parroted, frowning at your question.
“Why did you invite me in? I’m a- a stranger to you, you don’t even know me. What if I’d been acting to mug you or potentially kill and steal from you? What’d you do then, Miguel?”
“I know the risks, but you didn’t, didn’t you? And wouldn’t, you don’t look like the person to harm another.”
You scoffed at his words. Didn’t and wouldn’t didn’t mean you would not do it later after gaining his trust, to stab him in the back after he helped you and nursed you. The simple, naïve idea that you didn’t look like a violent person was mind-blowing, it was stupid. How could he know if you didn’t mean harm later on? Like how Miguel never meant to harm you - he loved you - and yet in the end, he had. 
“That’s naïve,” you muttered, eyes closed as you drank the cooling beverage, the sugary drink trickling down your throat. 
“I’m confident in my ability to read people.”
He did seem confident in his ability, the straight back and the strong gaze in his eyes showed; and, maybe because you knew from experience that Miguel was observant and careful, he hadn’t gotten where he was by simply trusting people and following the herd. He tested and made mistakes, he learned from them each time and found a way to use it to his advantage. The Miguel you saw in every universe was similar in some ways, their good nature, their cunningness, their bravery and their intelligence. All aspects known to characterize Miguel O’Hara in all universes he existed in. 
You conceded to his will, head bowed and shoulders slack. You breathed shallowly, swallowing the lump in your throat:
“Yeah, what gave it away?”
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You thought it would be the last of him you’d see in your life, you wished it wouldn’t, that you’d see him over and over, to feel what the Miguel from your universe had to give, but you knew it was wishful thinking, a wish thrown to the stars. Logically, he had no reason to call or text you after exchanging numbers days prior. He promised to call you, and he made you promise to call him if anything ever resurfaced, be it pain, anger, heartbreak or hate. You, instinctively, believed his word. 
You hated yourself for falling so easily to another Miguel, how you bent to his words and the sweet promises he uttered that night. There was no sign that he would keep his word, that he would see you again after your breakdown, except for his words and your belief in him. Then it wasn’t misplaced, all the trust and belief you had, since he called you, asking to meet up at a cafe. Miguel had set up a place and time for you when you replied with a croak, still feeling down. He had whispered reassuring words to you, urging you to meet him - he explicitly told you he’d feel offended to be stood up - and spend some time outside. The air was fresh and cool for an autumnal month, it wasn’t too cold that you were forced to wear a thick jacket, but it wasn’t warm enough for you to go out in a simple shirt. 
You were hesitant to take him up on his offer, knowing how easily you could rebound. You’d crash into Miguel’s open arms, searching for the love and affection he fed you like a lovesick puppy, but, then again, Earth-XXX’s Miguel was similar, yet different from his variant. It would be a lie if you told yourself you didn’t miss him, the soft smiles, the gentle touches and the affectionate words. You had spent so much time as his right-hand Spider that it felt odd not seeing him the following morning. It was a routine you’d formed: waking up in his bed, kissing him good morning, getting to work together and eating together. Everything you’d done in the past years was with Miguel from Earth-928 the routine, the rigidity, it was grounding, it was the only semblance of normalcy in the world you lived in.
Now, you had to face the possibility that you were too broken to see another Miguel, to hold a casual conversation and form coherent and normal sentences. The purposefully slow steps you took to the cafe picked after having a moment outside the glass front were telling in itself. You swallowed the little amount of saliva in your throat to soothe its dryness and walked through the doors of the quaint establishment. It was painted in calm, brown tones, rustic in design with a warmth that rivalled the comfort of your bed. It lifted a bit of the tension you had, shoulders slumping slightly as your eyes searched for a familiar mop of brown hair.
Laying against the brown sofa, he stared out of the wide window from his booth. The warm, morning lights caressed his cheeks, lighting up the sharp edges of his jaw and nose. He was sculpted in perfection, like the youthful beauty of Adonis, crafted with the meticulous and attention-catching hands of an artist that created what was thought to be a god’s beauty. You could spend your days watching him, catching every little detail of Miguel’s face under the changing lighting, but you were standing near the entrance and he was waiting for you. His words echoed in your mind: “Don’t forget about next week, I miss seeing you.”
His eyes flickered to you, blinking as he turned to you, flashing a smile. You returned the sentiment, a shaky smile lifting the corners of your lips. You sat across from him, eyes wandering the cafe to stare at anything but him, lest you wouldn’t be able to stop the rush of emotions that would light your face in a flush. He uttered your name, greeting you in a friendly manner. You nodded back, muttering his name, pushing down the wince whenever you said it. 
“Chocolate.”
The still-warm cup stared at you, light steam wafting over the reflective liquid. It was full, unlike Miguel’s cup, and drank down to the middle of the container. 
“Thank you.”
He probably wouldn’t let you repay him for the hot chocolate he bought you, the smile he gave you told you as much when your eyes flickered between his and your cup. The hot chocolate was a reminder of your night in his flat, where he lent you his shoulder to cry and his ears to listen. Embarrassment seemed to flash whenever you recalled the memory, how vulnerable you were to him, your walls broken down and your heart open. Though, Miguel didn’t seem to mind your fragility, giving you as much time as you needed. 
“How are you? I wanted to give you a few days to think before meeting again, I thought you might’ve needed the time alone.”
You nodded lamely, fingers curling around the warm porcelain, back slumped into the booth to hide from his knowing eyes. He was right, you had needed the time alone to clean yourself up, scour through your memories and tend to whatever mess you made of yourself. You were thankful. The last few days had brought revelations, how - both of - you had ignored the signs of a rupture in the relationship and continued to push on, like crossing a crumbling bridge. 
“‘M doing better. How- and how are you?”
He smiled at your attempt, you were trying on your own after a few - forced - encouraging words from Miguel. Maybe you’d learn to live with the pain, coexisting with the numbness that filled you until it dulled to a point where it would be barely acknowledged by you or anyone in your vicinity - where it wasn’t painted on your face with bright colours. Or the pursuit to forget it, pushing it into the farthest corner of your mind and heart, painting over the crack with glue. As long as you wouldn’t drown in your sorrows, ending up playing with dangerous substances to stay afloat while your mind sunk deeper into addiction and denial. 
He wouldn’t let you get that far, Miguel understood you and he lived through it as you did. Although his was a more violent breakup - she had cheated on him, his explosive reaction was natural - than yours, he hadn’t relied on anything but self-meditation and a lot of thinking. Like a friend - you were one by his standards, he’d invited you to his flat, you’d seen his organized chaos and ranted about your life while he comforted you with his shoulder and a cup of hot chocolate - he would stay by your side, hoping his support would be enough to help you.
“Great so far.”
His grin - somehow - grew even larger, enthusiasm gleaming in his eyes. 
Oftentimes, Miguel would be the one to call you, your phone ringing in the afternoon of the day prior with his soothing voice on the other end of the line. He spoke easily, finding the time to invite you out for the simplest reason, to talk, to make a drink, to have fun, and - your favourite by far - to see you. His initiative had you trying to double your efforts to heal, reaching outside of your boundaries and texting Miguel whenever you had a moment to yourself. You felt guilty that he was always the one to plan these outings, so you promised yourself that you’d become a better friend than you currently were. You even remembered his teasing tone when you called him for the first time:
”Aye, finally. I thought you’d never call me, chica. I felt neglected, thought you had forgotten about me for a second there.”
It started with the first coffee date, bickering about who would pay, pushing your card before the other while still seated at your table, frowning stubbornly and throwing promises about letting the other pay next time. Either way, Miguel rarely let you pay, coming atop as the winner of your little fight with his strength and height (you couldn’t exactly put all your force into your push, it could break bone and bruise the skin.).
Then it would be random meetings on the streets that would lead you to a random bench at the park, basking in the other’s presence, retelling your day and him nitpicking anything he could with a ridiculously criticising frown. He was playing, you knew he was. You did the same after you’d gotten more comfortable talking to him, it became easier to see him as a different - as his own - person. A few hits on the shoulder left and right, but it was mostly laughter at ridiculous expressions made to emphasize your disdain for a certain event.
The months that followed were a blur to you. Rather than going to a cafe or the park, you went to restaurants and crashed at one of your flats, yours if he wanted to play games and lounge about with food and drinks, and his if you wanted to watch movies (he had the best television you’d ever seen, such high definition and speed.) and tinker away at his inventions and theories. He was certainly happy that his new friend was another scholar in the field of genes and engineering (you were mostly into engineering than genes, but you knew a few things that you’d found interesting.). You could both gush - scientifically - about the possibility of gene splicing and lab-generated mutations in humans, like the mutant superheroes. 
You’d taken some liberties and went drinking, meeting at the same bar biweekly to relax after a few hard days at work. It served to loosen your nerves until either of you felt comfortable to chat up a storm about the most random subject. It’d been about the odd dent on the rim of his glass; then it’d be about how the sky was grey this week, there weren’t any warm, yellow rays blaring down on you when you went out; or it’d be about the distasteful cut of a man’s moustache. Drinking loosened your tongues, some words were said and some sentiments were shared, but none were truly taken seriously knowing you were tipsy - nearing drunk - those nights.
Every time you saw Miguel, you felt like you were rediscovering a part of yourself as well as him, the thing that made him so distinct and loveable. Miguel was expressive and honest, he slowly and gently let you down from whatever high you were, the pillar you needed to stand again after falling. He was so much different. It used to pain you how much they looked alike, but character-wise, they were like the two sides of a coin. It made you appreciate the delicate intricacies that made the multiverse.
You won’t - can’t - deny that you’ve grown fond of this Miguel as you did with the other one, but you couldn’t let yourself love him. He didn’t deserve someone broken and hashed into many lives: the masks you wore, the things you did, the secrets you hid, and the things you could do. He didn’t deserve someone who could bring him to his death; dying simply because he was connected to Spider-Woman; beaten simply because he knew Spider-Woman; kidnapped simply because they deemed him useful as leverage. All things that could go wrong haunt you. Miguel was human, he wasn’t a Spider, he wasn’t a superhero, and he wasn’t a vigilante. He was Miguel O’Hara, the geneticist working at Alchemax, with a brilliant mind and a kind heart. 
You cherished every part of him. That’s why you can’t let your heart lead, dedicate how you’d react to Miguel after the months you spent together. He was so close, yet so far; he was touchable, you could hold him, kiss him and hug him, but he was unattainable, you couldn’t tell him how much you loved him. You watched him with hidden love, showing your affection as platonic, a friend watching another. You had hardened yourself to your heart’s cries, for loving Miguel was a dangerous game-
“I- what?” you gawked at Miguel, wide eyes and mouth agape. You were shocked at the words that left his mouth, his soft, wet lips moving as he repeated the words.
“I love you.”
His cheeks were flushed, burning a soft red, it trailed to his ears and nape. His open collar - his jacket hung on the back of his chair and his shirt clung below his collar, a skin-tight shirt that hugged his sculpted chest sinfully, it hid little to the seeing eyes of the crowd and your drunk self. His sudden words had all but sobered you, shaking you into clear lucidity of his confession.
“You… love me?”
He blinked dumbly at you for a second, as if taking the time to absorb what he told you and what you repeated. Miguel was tipsy, not drunk. He smiled and nodded, a bashfully affectionate grin on his beautiful lips.
“Yes, is it so hard to believe, chica?”
He often called you chica, you thought it was a friendly term of endearment between friends (truthfully and regretfully, you knew little of Spanish, even with being in a committed relationship with an Irish-Mexican.). You just realised it was his pet name for you. All this time, he had given you his heart, and yet, you had denied him of yours. He was more playful and less burdened by life, it made him more teasing and smiling. The term chica somewhat made sense, a cuter and more playful way of calling someone you loved than the deep-meaning ones like mi cielo and mi vida, a play of words like a small secret between you. This secret hid behind names given between friends, a well-kept one, close to his chest but gifted to you. 
It might’ve once been - started - as friends, but it grew and festered in his heart until he found the time to express himself, to tell you how he truly felt for you - how he grew to care for you. He deemed this moment fine, bordering tipsy and nearing drunk, he’d be open, brutally honest but still aware of the words that left him. He wasn’t a lightweight anyway. 
You wanted to tell him you also loved him, but you couldn’t do it, mouth slightly open and eyes glazed with heartbreak, you simply stared at him in hesitancy. You opened your mouth once to reply and closed it, open and close, again and again until all you could do was stare at him. How were you supposed to answer him after the bomb he dropped? 
”Yes! I love you too!”
”Oh, Miguel, I love you too.”
”I- I love you as well.”
There were so many ways to express your feelings to the man who confessed, but none seemed to convey the true emotions that lay in your heart. You wanted to tell him you learned to love again thanks to him, that the time spent with him had made you open your eyes to the beauty that you were blinded by the pain and you slowly grew to care for - love - him as much as you did with Spider-Man 2099. He had the same smile, the same mind, the same heart, but he was more innocent, less burdened by disaster and happier. 
So you simply nodded. It made his smirk grow.
“Aye- would it be better if I called you ‘mi tesoro’ instead? It’s more straightforward, no?”
Even now, his words were light and playful, his tone affectionate as he leaned closer to you. You could see the mischievous glint in his warm, chocolate eyes (you thought that was why he liked serving you hot chocolate, it reminded you of his eyes.) and the curve of his lips as they moved to form words. You were transfixed by his beauty, mesmerised by the comforting hues and the sharpness of his cheeks, missing how close he was to you. 
“Or maybe-”
Softness caressed your lips, a plush, warm feeling that made you flush. He was kissing you, those pretty lips on yours. Your breath stuttered and you froze, but it didn’t stop Miguel’s initiative, a hand cradled your nape, holding you in place as he pushed himself closer to you. He moved against you, tongue slipping from his mouth and tentatively laving over your bottom lip, asking for something. 
He was so warm, so caring. You could just close your eyes and follow his lead - you did. He pushed harder, yet the kiss stayed soft and passionate, he lightly nipped your lip and soothed the stinging with his warm tongue, beckoning you to open your mouth for him. Your lips parted, opening up for Miguel to dive in, muscle meeting yours halfway and curling over yours. He still cradled your head, fingers running through your loose hair and tilting your head backwards, giving him more space to show you how much he loved you. Your arms, somehow, found themselves wrapped around his neck, pulling him as close to you as he was pushing himself against you. 
His kiss was loving, his hold was careful and his touch heartwarming. You almost regretted having to pull away, but you had to breathe, your lungs starving for air after having been devoured by Miguel’s adoring kiss. The moment you opened your eyes (you didn’t know you had closed them while you kissed), his smile greeted you, a lovesick one bubbling with unending joy. You almost choked from how it fit so well on him. 
“That’s- that’s one way…” you spoke between breaths, chest swelling with every erratic pant, matching his similarly worn-out breathing.
That was all he needed from you. Your kiss was enough for him to know you loved him the same, a patient and gentle love he was willing to give you. Your heart pulsed strongly, lips curving and eyes squinting, you pushed yourself closer to his heat, his all-encompassing warmth that wrapped around you when you wanted to feel safe and loved. Your world couldn’t be any brighter, like the vibrant colours of blooming flowers when Persephone was given to her mother, where the snow melted and colours washed over the lands once more, painting the blank white and dead grey in joyous tones. It glowed brightly and warmed you like the summers that followed the melting ice, the clear, blue skies of Olympus and as freeing as the soaring hawks and skipping elks.
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Letting go was far harder than loving. To let the person who you let in leave felt emptying, it left a gaping hole in his heart. Where it was once calm, struck a raging storm of rejection and regret, crashing waves the size of Poseidon’s rage and violent storms the strength of Zeus’ retribution. It hurt watching you walk beside a variant of himself, a happier and lighter version of him without his mutations or duty. You were the Spider-Woman of your universe so there wouldn’t be a second one unless there was a catastrophic canon divergence. 
He hadn’t followed you at first, respecting your wishes of being left alone. He had to give you that much, at least, after those months spent beside his ignorant ass. He hadn’t seen it until it was too late, lost under the weight of his duty and fears that he’d forgotten he had people who cared, who felt, who loved. It was too late, it was always too late with him. If he couldn’t fix his first mistake, who’s to say he could fix this? He couldn’t save his first daughter or his second’s universe because it was falling apart. He couldn’t save anyone because he hadn’t realised his mistake in interfering in canon events, and he lost you because he couldn’t stop his vitriol, his violent temperament that had pushed you away. He always took things for granted until they were lost to him. 
Was it two or three weeks before he decided to check up on you? He didn’t know anymore, the weeks blurred until he finally amassed the courage to go against everyone’s words. Through the flat hologram of his orange screen, he watched you lament on your own, body curled into itself and shoulders shaking. Your sobs were heart-wrenching to watch while he had no means of contacting you; you would’ve reacted more strongly and aggressively if he’d contacted you after leaving. 
So he watched.
You stared vacantly from your window and left only for the bare necessities or to act as Spider-Woman. Crime never slept so you couldn’t stop even in your time of need. You swung from building to building so gracefully that Miguel was hypnotised by your grace. He watched these moments as a reminder of the missions he took by your side, webbing and catching anomalies all across the multiverse with fearsome speed and accuracy. You both had made a fearsome team, but that time was over, it was a memory long forgotten. 
So he watched.
Your flat was cold and empty, the space filled with spectres of memories, the cool rooms vacant of life that used to fill them with warmth and happiness. It was saddening from his perspective - the observer, the watcher and the reader of your story - of your time spent alone. He wanted to tell you that you weren’t alone, that he was watching you from afar, a silent protector that would only act if you were in imminent danger - as long as it wasn’t part of the canon. 
So he watched-
Besides you was Miguel - not him, another one - and he looked much too comfortable by your side for his liking. His variant seemed much too close for a friend, moving from sitting before you to beside you, arm slung over your shoulders and leaning back and, sometimes, towards you at a breath’s distance. He turned green with envy, a vicious monster brewing inside his body with the threat of bursting out, clawing at his chest. The other was too close to you for his liking. 
He watched as his variant bought you drinks - always, however long and loud you’d complained and fought, he never let you pay in the end - and paid for your dates. He abhorred it. How happy you looked with the other him. How calm and satisfied your smile was. How close his variant was to you. He wished he was at the other’s place, taking his rightful place beside you. He would kiss you, smother you in love and give you whatever you wanted, whether it be a hug, a kiss or his time, he would’ve given them to you. He wouldn’t dance around the edge of your affection and his love like he was doing, like a man unsure of his feelings and anxious to act on it. 
He thought the other Miguel was a coward - though he knew he wasn’t. He wanted to blame his variant and find fault for anything he did, but they were still the same person. He was Miguel O’Hara as much as he was. He wanted, but couldn’t, especially after seeing how both loved you the same, having a similar type. They were so much alike that he could’ve replaced his variant, yet so vastly different in other manners that he would’ve stood out. His history, his trauma, his curse, the other had none of them. He was normal while he was Spider-Man, a stronger, more brutal version of Spider-Man. 
Granted, he loved you with every fibre of his being, but he had never showered you with as much love and affection as the other, having his character muddled through long hours of work and long-lasting tragedy. You were another of his tragedies, where he found love again and lost it by his own making. He would have left too if the Society didn’t depend on him, leaning towards him for support and help in protecting the multiverse. It was something he couldn’t sacrifice for his whims.
So he kept watching and let his heart crack and envy fester.
He watched you grow even closer to him, shoulders and hands occasionally touching, making you jump and blush. He watched you move from simple coffee dates to full-blown restaurants and bar dates, drinking and eating at your leisure - something he could’ve never provided you. He watched you wobble around when you were drunk, your arm over his shoulder and his around your waist, supporting your drunk weight. He watched you kiss, the other pressing your bodies together and you reciprocating the loving embrace you had once given to him. 
He felt like crying. He was crying, silent tears rolling down his sharp cheeks in slow, thundering waves of his heartbreak. He clung to the desk, claws unintentionally popping out and bending the metal under his fist. The sound ripped through the silent room like the image that ripped through his heart. He was alone in his grief, shoulders slumping and arms shaking with the intensity of his emotions. He had locked the door, barricading it with a busy, do not disturb sign, warning the others that he was occupied and wouldn’t be reached unless there was an emergency. 
“Miguel…”
He’d forgotten Lyla was here - she was everywhere and nowhere at the same time, with your help he had given Lyla an upgrade in her system that gave her access to every Spider that had the watch. She had access to every file in the database and his secrets. Lyla was loyal to him as much as she was to you, respecting your words with a promise of her own to leave you alone. That, however, didn’t mean that she wasn’t privy to his pains, watching him while his eyes were stuck to your universe’s screen, giving him some comforting words that were meant to lift his spirit. It never worked but the intention was there. 
He couldn’t look at her, still facing the hologram of you kissing. He felt the surge of too many emotions to be able to think clearly, his self-control tethering on a thin line of fragile web. If he turned, he would explode on Lyla, giving her the brunt of his suffering even though she didn’t deserve it, she felt and laughed as much as any other human. He remembered programming in emotion with you, laughing about how much she would be as teasing and annoying as you. Lyla was another gift to him by you, so it would hurt him more. 
“Miguel-”
“Don’t- Do not say another word.”
For a man in tears and pain, his voice was curt and stoic, playing the leading figure he’d taken for so long. It betrayed his shaky figure, fingers crushing the metal loudly and shoulders jerking with ever-wrenching choked sob. His world was crumbling around him, rippling and cracking from the seams and folding into itself. The control of his state was failing miserably as he kept staring at your mirthful smile after the kiss. It tore him apart knowing he pushed you further away and into the arms of another. It hurt him deeply. 
Through everything, he heard Lyla whisper a small sorry before she popped out of existence, her small holographic body vanishing along with her orange light. Gone was her familiar light, gone was the nostalgic memory of programming her, and along her, was the support of another person. He was truly alone in this moment, to fall on his knees and let himself drown under the weight of everything. 
If your love was a tangible thing, he would’ve cradled it between his warm palms, holding it tightly to his chest to feel the soothing effects you had on him. Like a balm to burns, you cooled the searing pains that the world inflicted upon him, the warm blanket that covered him when he needed rest and the pillar that held him when he fell. He’d lost something he couldn’t gain a second time, clutching his head in his misery, drowning and howling.
It felt surreal until it wasn’t until it all sunk in. He truly couldn’t grasp the utter loss and betrayal he felt. The realisation that he truly lost you to none other than himself. The irony of it all slashed deeper, how he drove you closer to another him by his own doing, making you love a Miguel with more gentleness, more kindness and time than him, Miguel O’Hara, the Spider-Man from Nueva York, Earth-928. Everything he had was lost in time, his spiralling thoughts of loss and misery clouded his vision, bringing tears forward in bigger waves. 
Was he doomed to lose everything he cared about? Was he bound to love and lose? Why couldn’t he have a happy ending like everyone else? Was it because he was different? Perhaps it was, there were other O’Hara Spider-Man, but none were mutated like him, a product of self-infliction and sabotage - none had their DNA spliced and mixed with a spider’s. He was simply too different from the others, they were lean but still had a strong musculature, muscles tightened to create more strength and defence; none were big and broad as he was, with rough edges and mean streaks. They were nice and happy, faced losses of their own, but always came out on top (there were some minor - sometimes major - variants of Spider-Man here and there, but they all had some similarities in their stories of becoming.). He saw the devastation and grasped onto the thinnest silver lining he could find, holding onto it to stay afloat while others thrived where they were. 
Maybe it was truly because of him. He was realistic - near cynic -  he couldn’t see things optimistically, life had made him that way. The silver lining he saw in things was small, nearly extinguished by his near-pessimistic way of life. Did that have an impact as well? It most likely did, at least partly. Fate had given him a bad hand in things, he couldn’t be completely blamed for how things turned - or so he thought, hoped. A man wasn’t only the result of what he’d done, but also of what he was given. When push comes to shove, Miguel acted in a way he thought meant well for him and the others even if it didn’t seem like the right decision at first. He rarely doubted his actions while he did them, only after, could he let himself face the consequences of what he’d done. Miguel simply didn’t have the pleasure of waiting. He needed to act when it was called.
If he had waited, if he had been patient and sought out others for support, if he had spent time thinking before acting, would he still have his little girl beside him? Would he still have you in his arms? If he had shown you more affection, would you have still loved him?
Did you still love him?
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Miguel didn’t know what he was doing. Standing before your apartment door in civilian clothing and a bouquet of twelve, beautiful white tulips - the meaning not lost to him. It was an attempt at apologizing for his mistakes, a desperate one led by heartache. He brushed his hair back, trying to look as kept as he could in his situation: dark bags and sickly skin, tense muscles and sore back. This was a daring move from him, it would end up catastrophic if the Miguel from your universe saw him at your front door; but he checked, making sure his variant was elsewhere before opening a portal to your place. 
He hadn’t moved in a while, listening to you move around your flat, the sound of your soft steps shuffling from behind the door, a wall between you and him, reminding him that he wouldn’t be able to cross it unless you welcomed him. He held the bouquet in one hand and knocked with the other, his knuckles hitting the wood softly and hesitantly. There was a pause between every knock, drawn by his nerves and the anxiety that gripped him. 
You moved and closed in on the sound at the door. He saw your shadow dance under the small gap on the floor and pause. You knew. You knew it was him even without peeking through the peephole, your spider-sense aiding you in recognizing the unknown. Although your hand rested reluctantly at the knob - perhaps still too raw from your break as he was - you opened the door for him, figure small and apprehensive. 
“Miguel,” you muttered his name, greeting him with a slow nod. You stepped back and opened the door wider for him, he took it as a good sign that you let him in rather than shut the door in his face.
He nodded back, saying your name. He took a step forward, foot breaking the barrier to your flat. The second one ensured he was fully invited, both feet strongly rooted on your side of the door. He wanted to make himself smaller, to appease you, but he knew you wouldn’t have liked that. He squirmed under your stare, a mix of curiosity and concern. 
He nearly sighed audibly when you gestured at him to sit and he moved to the sofa he remembered sleeping on with you, cuddling under a warm blanket while you watched a movie. He knew your home by heart like you knew his, the memory washed over him with melancholy. You sat on the armchair to his left, your back to the kitchen. He swallowed thickly and handed you the bouquet, freshly cut tulips glistening with pearly drops under your lights. 
Your shoulders shook as you leaned in to take the bouquet, jolting back when your fingers grazed him. Feeling your skin felt invigorating, it breathed back life into him, even slightly. You thanked him with a slow nod, seemingly unsure of what to make of it. Was it a gift? Was it an apology? Was it a farewell sign? He figured your mind was running in circles trying to understand the meaning of the pretty bouquet he handed you. You were always an overthinker, but your mind worked brutally well. That’s something he always appreciated about you. 
“I-” Miguel started, seemingly stopped by something that he couldn’t get out of his throat. Maybe a ball of dread or needles of anxiety, but it held him from giving you the words he spent nights thinking over, to give you the message he built from the deepest crevice of his heart. “I’m sorry, (Name).”
You stared at him, understanding that he needed a moment of silence to truly convey his feelings. You hadn’t uttered a word since he first started, expression neutral, not betraying whatever brewing storm you locked inside of you. He was grateful, truly. 
“I know- I know it doesn’t mean much now, but I’m really, really sorry, mi vida.”
He sensed you tense, the muscles of your back contracting and rippling under your shirt. Every unseen fibre moving was bare to him, he could see and feel better than most, if not, everyone else. 
“I acted out of anger and lack of sleep, but that doesn’t mean you deserved that- never. I just, my mutation makes me more animalistic, more… aggressive than the other, and I hurt you. You didn’t deserve any of that and I can’t always blame it on my mutations. I should’ve been able to control myself. I shouldn’t have lashed out at you in those ways.”
He lowered his gaze to his hands, the calloused pads of his fingers rubbing his palm, trying to coax himself into relaxation. Although your breathing softened, a calm breeze in an atmosphere thick with tension, he didn’t dare look up and see the face you were making. 
“I was a bad boyfriend and a horrible friend. I’m- I’m not asking you to forgive me, I don’t want you to forgive me, but- I just needed to tell you how much I regret hurting you. I want to apologise, I don’t know what else to do, I don’t know how to fix this.” He breathed deeply, collecting every ounce of confidence and honesty to brave your reaction. “I’m sorry, mi cielo.” 
He shuddered, body rippling with his pained breath. He hadn’t realised how painful it would be to face you with his fears and confession, with the threat of abandonment and rejection fresh in his mind. He was a man of pride and strength, rarely facing anything with trepidation and hesitance. 
“I’m really sorry, mi cielo. I’m so, so sorry.”
He sat in silence, letting it hang over him like the blade of a guillotine, silent and brunt. Perceiving the flash of the sharp blade before it fell on his neck, sentencing him to a quick downfall with a long, lasting agony that would sting his neck as long as it would hurt his heart. The French used it for executions, the thing that spelled people’s end. At its height, it was used as an apparatus to behead traitors or people who were deemed dangerous to the people of the new republic. Down the blame went and off the head popped, like it would happen to Miguel if he wasn’t prepared for it. He truly didn’t know whether he had prepared for his rejection, for the death of his heart, to watch the flickering sparks of his flame wither out.
“I’m sorry too, Miguel-”
The rope strained, knots twisting and rippling in the tightness of the pull. It shook, whipping in the air as it straightened completely, held closely by the hand of the executioner. The wind blew but it was sturdy, withstanding the violent gales that slammed against the body of it.
“-it means a lot that you came here to apologise- ”
The crowd was filled with silence, the emptiness of the area a mock of a ghost town. Abandoned to be sentenced to death without anyone to witness. They deemed him not fit for their acknowledgment before his death, before the sparks of his life extinguished. His fate wasn’t worth their time, unlike the poorest criminals who stole for money, unlike the richest pigs who fed from the poor with their silver spoons and golden crowns, unlike the cruellest killers who gutted and left men, women and children to bleed out, and unlike the guiltless innocents cursed for something they hadn’t committed. 
“-but, I can’t.”
The rope was let loose, its tail flying and whipping in the air as the blade descended with its weight. The wood chafed against its support beams, yet it flew gracefully and rapidly, singing the doom of its prisoner. The blade gleamed under the moon’s bright light, the silver whispers of peace and sleep deaf to his ears.
“I can’t love you anymore.”
It cracked down on him, his life flashing before him as it cut into him. Severing his control over his body, putting out the dying embers of hope. He clung to desperation in his last moments, wishing to relive the moments of happiness, bright oblivion and cherished love. 
He wished that he could’ve seen your shadowed figure hidden in the darkness, tears lining your cheeks as you watched him take his last breath. The only person who came to see him leave, the one who he would’ve burned the world for. In the end, after everything he’d done, you still gave him a small moment of your time to witness his fall, you deemed him worthy of such an act. You offered him your kindness. 
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My extensive tag list of extremely patient people pt1.:
@iseizeyourmom @raynerainyday @etherealton @sciencethot @coffee-obsessed-freak @thesecretwriter @beepboopcowboy@bontensh0e @aikoiya @allysunny @fandoms-run-my-life @brittney69 @aranachan @maladaptivedaydreamingbum @konniebon @starlightaura @redwolfxx @aniya7 @alicefallsintotherabbithole @bvbdudette @wwwelilovesyou @wwwellacom @akiras-key @bobafettbutifhewasgay @opiplover @rinieloliver @uniquecroissant @yas-v @xrusitax @blkmystery @darherwings @ariparri @notivie @vr00m-vr00m @battinsonwhore05 @irishbl0ss0mz @mivanda @saint-chlorine @livelaughluvmen @battinsonwhore05 @notivie @lililouvre @giasjourneyblog @ykyouluvme @skullywullypully
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onlyswan · 1 year
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summary: in which music waters a wilting flower on a chilly autumn night and jungkook is stuck by the glue onto you.
> idol!jungkook x reader / strangers to lovers / fluff, slight angst / wc: 4.4k
> warnings: mentions of oc’s toxic ex bf, slutshaming, and alcohol
> in which masterlist!
note: the in which couple’s first encounter reveal?! has arrived with a bam cameo at the end <3 recommend reading the ‘first times’ in the masterlist next if you haven’t yet :D as always reblogs and/or feedback are appreciated 🥰 and yes. i love beabadoobee.
“sir, will you help me-“ you panic, eyes pleading for help as you look between the door and the owner of the music shop. “i think it’s stuck.”
“oh! of course, of course. i apologize about that.” the middle-aged man, quick to your aid, ducks out of the counter. “i ought to get this thing changed soon. spent a fortune on it but it’s not doing what it’s supposed to do.”
you copy his chuckle, watching him push up the still half-closed door before shoving it open to the side.
“thank you!” you politely bow your head before stepping out.
“come back again next time! i’ll give you a discount!”
“really? a discount? then i have no choice but to come back!” you whine playfully, smiling at the promise of saving money in the future. you present him another bow. “have a good night! close the door now, it’s cold.”
the 90’s love song playing inside becomes muffled when the transparent glass completely shuts out the outside world once again. instead, the lead vocalist’s voice is replaced by a golden and dulcet humming by a stranger.
you scan for the source of the sound, and at once, you discover it when you whip your head to the right. scrolling through his phone, he’s sitting at the far corner of the old wooden bench— the same boy who was paying at the counter when you stumbled into the store. unbeknownst to yourself, your heart skips a beat. you were transported to a field of flowers when you brushed past him, and you met his big brown eyes briefly when he turned to leave.
burdened by the heavy and uneven weight you’re carrying on your shoulders, you decide to rest on the other side of the bench while you wait for a taxi to pass by. you spare a glance at the oversaturated band posters on the off-white wall behind it before sitting down as their audience.
the humming ceases when he feels your presence beside him.
you cautiously set down the padded guitar bag on the ground, securing it in between your thighs, anxious of getting so much as a scratch on the precious instrument. it’s a dear friend’s birthday tomorrow, and you only found the time and the money to purchase her gift today.
you check your wrist watch. 10:13pm. you fell asleep in the library while studying for a test, and because of that, you’re probably going to be home at around midnight. this place is pretty far and secluded, but apparently it’s known for its good and rare finds. you went here with your friend two months ago just to window shop and one of their bass guitars caught her eye. naturally, you couldn’t resist. her birthday gift has to be this. for some reason, it just feels easier to spend money on your loved ones than yourself.
will you even manage to send a birthday message before you pass out to sleep again? god, you hope so.
you feel your empty stomach grumbling angrily, and you’re not sure if it makes a sound or if it’s all just in your muddled head. yup, you missed dinner, too.
“i’m so hungry.” you cry out quietly, resting your forehead on the neck of the guitar.
fine, maybe you subconsciously said it a little louder than quiet. it was a shot in the dark, curious if the stranger beside you would have any sort of reaction. you hope for a glance at most. he has beautiful eyes, ones you almost feel envious of.
“me too.“ the sulky response slips out of his mouth with an exhausted sigh.
the sound of his voice makes you perk up in pleasant surprise, gazing at him with an amused, tight-lipped smile. on the other hand, he stiffens from the realization of what he just did. he stops manspreading, straightening himself up and awkwardly clearing his throat.
“sorry… it was a reflex.”
“it’s okay.” you reassure him with a quick laugh.
you tear your eyes away from him, watching the moths frantically flying under the street lamps. it’s silent for a moment, except for the shop owner’s on-going playlist and the occassional singing of the abundant crickets.
you face him again with a flair of innocence.
“do you want a granola bar?”
he lifts his head to look at you, the screen’s light reflecting on his tan skin, and that grants you the ability to see his breathtaking eyes. there might’ve been countless instances when they hated how small this bench is, most likely a tight fit for three people, but right now, you wouldn’t have it in any other way.
“it’s just that… i’m going to eat it and it feels rude to eat alone knowing you’re hungry, too.”
his teeth sinks in lower lip, contemplating for a few beats before nodding his head. “yeah, sure. i’d like one. thank you.”
you bring out the tupperware from your messenger bag, unfastening the sides open and separating the lid. as your own wordless way of telling him that they’re not poisoned, you grab one first, taking a small bite, before offering the container to him.
“here you go.”
you stifle a cackle when he pulls down the sleeves of his black hoodie as if he’s preparing to eat a whole course meal. he’s so fucking cute, gentle and dainty while picking up the granola bar along with the parchment paper underneath it. that leaves you with three left. you set down the tupperware between the two of you, loosely putting the lid on top.
“huh?” he exclaims with big round eyes, hand hovering over his mouth as he chews. “did you make this?”
the question makes you wince nervously. he didn’t like it? you could’ve sworn it's the best batch you’ve made so far. “uhm, if it tastes good, then i did. if not-”
“no, no. i like it.” he giggles, waving his hand to shoo your worries. “it’s not too sweet, and it’s soft? how did you make it chewy?!”
“oh-” you breathe out a sigh, clutching your chest in relief. “i just follow a recipe i found online! my neighbor gives me honey like every week so i found a use for it.”
“well, it’s really good. thank you.” he gives you a kind smile, scrunching his nose before resuming to eat the snack you spent your sunday night preparing.
and it’s quiet again. you look the other way to hide the proud smile playing on your lips, the fluttering of your unguarded heart raging and stubborn. maybe if you put food in your mouth, you’ll stop talking… not.
“i’m ___.”
he swallows before replying, distinctive dimples near his mouth making an appearance. “i’m jungkook.”
jungkook. it suits him so well. it’s perfect.
“do you play the guitar?“ jungkook asks curiously, motioning at the instrument you’re holding.
“oh, no- i just got this for my friend’s birthday. she’s in a band.” you share with a chuckle. “what about you? what do you need those giant speakers for?”
“ahh, they are big, aren’t they?” he scrunches his nose, glancing at the two boxes beside his feet. “i just figured buying new speakers would motivate me to work on music more.”
“are you a singer?” you gasp dramatically for effect. “or perhaps, a rapper?”
“i mean…” he smiles sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders. “i guess i can rap, too.”
“that’s cool. i think you have a pretty talking voice, too.”
“aigoo, thank you so much.” he jokingly bends down his torso for a bow, clasping his hands together with the small remaining piece of granola bar in between before taking it in between his teeth.
the harmony of your laughter bleeds through the chilly air, providing your hearts a wave of much needed warmth.
“thank you too. you gave me an idea what to gift my friends next time.”
“speakers?” his face lights up like of a kid unboxing presents beside the christmas tree. you’ve never met anyone who looks this passionate at the mention of the said device— this whole interaction is giving you the urge to dive deeper into the world of music beyond the sphere of being a casual listener. “they’ll love it. it’s the best gift for me personally.”
you tilt your head to the side. “you know a lot about them?”
“hmmm, i don’t know.” he purses his lips as he hums, eyes falling on the ground as he ponders. “they’re important for shows and work so i naturally learn a lot about them… i often look for reviews and new releases. it’s like a hobby?”
“really? then i’m sold. i need you.”
the carelessly casual words escape your mouth before you can think twice.
“need me?” he repeats your word in surprise, pointing at himself.
you disguise yourself with a nod and a coy smile, acting nonchalant as if you’re not screaming inside. you’ve always been this shameless when you have nothing to lose, but he’s just so pretty that you want to learn shit like what his favorite food is and whether your zodiac signs are compatible even though you don’t believe in them.
“help me choose the best speakers to buy, one year from now. i don’t know anything about music at all, so i always have a hard time with gifts.” you’re pouting sadly by the end, your words bearing the weight of truth, albeit you’re also using them as an excuse to glue yourself onto him.
in your mind, five seconds feels like it’s stretching into eternity. he breaks out into a shy grin, playing with the parchment paper left in his hand before folding it over and over again until it becomes the same size as the nail of his thumb. he stuffs it into the pocket of his washed denim jeans.
“okay then, i should help you. give me your number?”
your hands graze each other as you lay hold of his phone, clueless instruments of your and jungkook’s youthful impulses and anticipation.
“do you have other ___’s in your contacts? should i name myself ‘___ from mj’s music box’?” you inquire half-jokingly, raising your eyebrows at him.
”ey, come on. there’s no need for that.” he chortles, staring back at you with an unnamed emotion in his eyes, but you quickly revert your attention to the screen and you don’t notice.
“i don’t think you’ll remember me just by my name a year from now, though.” you mutter to yourself as you tap on the screen. after that, you tap the call button to save his number on your phone as well.
you’re already handing him back his phone when he finally constructs a reply-
“is that so? then make it difficult for me to forget.”
and the air gets robbed from your lungs. it makes you wonder how many hearts he has broke, being this handsome and charming, and if you’ll even drag this out and stick around long enough to find out.
“be careful of your words. i’m pretty competitive.” you playfully taunt him, softly tugging his wrist to put the device on his delicately wide palm. “don’t blame me when i end up being the only person you think about.”
he matches your energy, a cocky smirk tugs at the corner of his lips as he shakes his head. “psh, why would i? that doesn’t sound like a bad deal.”
why are you thinking of ways to keep this flowing instead of retreating and coming up with an obvious excuse to leave? as always, you find yourself most liberated when you meet new people, even when you know they’ll only be a fleeting presence in your life, here to leave a stain or a scar. you wish a taxi never arrives. you wish to be left stranded here for the rest night so you can hear him talk about the first song he ever wrote and you can tell him about the stupid song your first boyfriend wrote for you.
but alas, the universe intervenes with your fantasies and the approaching blazing headlights almost blind your blurry eyes.
you wave your hand to hail the taxi, and you smile at jungkook one more time. “time for me to go.”
“oh, okay.”
the vehicle parks infront of the bench. he watches you hurriedly toss the granola bar you never finished into the transparent tupperware, a feeling akin to disappointment gnawing at his guts.
“wait- weren’t you waiting for a taxi, too?” you wonder out loud as you slide the resealed container inside your bag.
“i’m fine, i have a ride. you go take it- oh, oh- let me help you with that-” he stands up abruptly when he sees you struggling to stand up, lifting the guitar to relieve you of the barrier.
“thanks, jungkook.” you laugh airily, getting on your feet, closer to him than you’ve ever been. he’s taller than you originally thought, and it’s hard to ignore the fact that his flexing forearms are veiny… (you have a suspicion that he’s doing it on purpose. the guitar bag isn’t that heavy.) those, paired with that pretty baby face— he’s so manly and so adorable in a way you’ve never seen in anyone else. he’s a beautiful, refreshing sight to behold.
you’re holding your breath, as if that would freeze the hands of the clocks, halt the earth from spinning on its axis because it’s the only way for you to stay without blaming yourself. the love songs haven’t stopped playing, and a slow acoustic sets out to delude you that this is a scene from an indie romance film, a beginning of something beautiful, but it rarely is. it never is.
his bunny teeth sink into his bottom lip, tainting it a darker shade of pink, before his tongue sneaks out to lick it. “you can go inside.” he generously says, slightly raising his arms to gesture at your cherished gift he’s grasping securely.
you only nod in understanding, walking past him and proceeding to open the door to slide into the backseat. you assist him in putting the guitar inside the taxi and over your lap, and you force your brain to shut down before you can speak again and your friskiness gets you into trouble.
“get home safe, ___!” he brightly chirps, waving at you goodbye.
your cheeks are starting to hurt from all the giddy smiles, but you just can’t stop, not when he has this contagious and bubbly expression painted on his face that’s simply impossible not to adore.
“you too, jungkook.”
his meticulous eyes briefly wander around your figure, checking if you’re too close, and then he carefully slams the door shut. you sink into your seat, swallowing the lump in your throat before telling the taxi driver your address.
you don’t want to think too much, so you close your eyes, hoping to get more sleep to recharge your mental and social batteries. unsurprisingly, you grow restless not even five minutes after. the soothing piano ballads faintly playing in the radio aren’t much help either. an infuriated scream hangs on the tip of your tongue, and you bite it down into dust. instead, you dish out your phone from the pocket of your bag to save jungkook’s number… but then the venomous voice of your ex calling you degrading names ranging from ‘an ungrateful, attention-seeking bitch’ to ‘a slut’ after you broke up with him echo in your tumultuous head, and you begin feeling pathetically small and nauseous. for a split moment you find yourself contemplating whether you should just delete it or not. out of guilt or out of fear, maybe both, you’re not quite certain.
what ultimately pull you out from the dark abyss of relentless overthinking are the first notifications you ever receive with his name attached to them.
Jungkook:
hey this is JK
i just thought of this now ?!..
trade my music equipment expertise for your magical granola bar recipe? :)
you bury your face in your hands, silently crying out— “ah shit, this is so annoying. why does he have to be so cute? i need a drink.”
“i’m hungry.” the grumpy complaint spills from your tongue now that bam, your not-so little happy pill, is out from sight.
“me too.” jungkook juts out his bottom lip, lifting his head from your shoulder to look at you. “do you still have strawberry wafers in your bag?”
his question prompts you to hug it defensively. no, just no. “i’m saving them for emergencies-”
he puts his index finger infront of his lips, shushing you with a shake of his head. he tuts. “i know. this is an emergency, baby.”
cornered at the armrest of the couch, you have nowhere else to go. you unwillingly surrender to satisfying his craving, grimacing as he starts rummaging through your bag. this is exactly why you told him you should eat brunch before bringing in bam for his grooming, but jungkook insisted that it won’t take too long. sure, maybe the grooming session itself won’t… but the waiting in line part? that definitely took too long. making an appointment is technically futile when you’re visiting on a weekend.
“mhmmm, i love it.” he moans in satisfaction, devouring the slice of wafer in only two consecutive bites.
you glare at him when he offers you the plastic bag with a teasing smile, seizing it from his grip to snack on the treat while you continue to wait at the lounge area. you’re the only fur parents left here, the last clients before the staff goes on their hour-long lunch break. the sign on the door has been flipped to say ‘CLOSED’.
jungkook wraps one arm around you, pulling you closer by the shoulder and cupping your face with his warm hand to plant an apologetic kiss on your cheek. “i’ll cook you a hearty meal for dinner when we get home.”
you melt in his hold, leaning further against the backrest to release the tension from your body bred by hunger and impatience.
“really?” you feign nonchalance as you make the futile attempt of hiding the pleased smile curving on your lips. “i want chicken. the one you made before, with the creamy and spicy sauce.”
your mouth is practically watering as you describe the dish, the smell and taste of his cooking still vivid in your senses’ memory. it’s making the food you’re eating painfully insipid, but it’s better than nothing.
“and wine, too. no- actually, i’m craving tequi- argh, i’ll settle with wine.”
“okay! chicken and wine for dinner!” he agrees straight away, pressing a kiss on your temple before pinching one more stick of wafer between his fingers. he breaks it into two halves and gives one of them to you.
you accept it wordlessly, but a peculiar feeling is slithering its way into the tight confines of your heart, and you can’t withdraw your eyes from closely observing your gorgeous boyfriend. he brushes off the crumbs that fell on his white t-shirt and his lap after he finishes his share, still chewing as he tenderly takes the empty plastic from your hand. just as you predicted, he finds entertainment in folding it as small as possible.
“this is giving me déjà vu.”
“déjà vu?” he tilts up his head, doe eyes widening as you’ve captured his attention.
“uh-huh, you know when we first met…” you trail off, sending him a threatening look when the confused expression on his face stays unchanging. “you remember, right?”
his mouth hangs open before his eyebrows knit in irritation, posture straightening as he stammers with his defense. “what kind of question is that? you’re hurting my feelings- you were wearing a varsity jacket with the number 6 on it!”
“jungkook, i wore that like everyday for four months.”
his expression softens, pierced lip forming a pout. “do you even know that i-i… ah, i’ll show you instead!”
“show me what?”
he digs his hand in the pocket of his dark blue denim jeans, dishing out his wallet. you peer at him with curiosity as he rapidly unzips it to comb through his cards, pausing at his driver’s license and removing the white paper hiding behind it.
“no way-” you splutter, nearly choking on your own spit as your hunch grows enormously.
he unfolds it to reveal the faded blue ink that writes the most crucial and specific details of the first time the universe conspired to make your paths cross.
“look, i still have the receipt from the night! november 11…”
you notice him squinting at the faint characters, and you momentarily disconnect from the surge of mixed emotions to pull out his prescription glasses from the collar of his t-shirt. you affectionately wear it on him, weaving your fingers through his hair to brush away the loose strands from his bun blocking the lens.
“thanks baby- it’s november 11, 2017. at 9:55pm!”
jungkook originally kept this receipt for a month incase he had to return the speakers due to unforeseen defect or damage. but then you never stopped talking, and you became the only person he thinks of 24/7 just as your coquettish warning told. the thought of throwing it out never occured to him. instead, he preserved it in his wallet because he carries it with him everywhere he goes. he would even argue that it’s his most important property in it. he can have his credit cards cancelled then replaced, but this piece of paper is once in a lifetime.
mj’s music box closed down due to the pandemic. he hasn’t told you this, didn’t want to break your heart when he found out. he knows that you treasure the place as much as him, if not more.
meanwhile, the new-found knowledge has rendered you speechless, unblinking, buffering.
“what’s with that face? you’ve never seen this in my wallet?” he quizzes you in bewilderment, smiling humorously.
“of course i haven’t! you want me going through your wallet without permission?!” you whine, hugging his arm and hiding yourself behind his back to calm the intense pumping of your heart.
oh, your sweet, sweet jungkook— he never runs out of way to make you fall in love with him all over again.
“my love, you know i don’t care about things like that.” he chuckles, astonished by how you still highly value and respect his privacy and boundaries despite how long you’ve been together. it just occurs to him then, that at the very core of your relationship, this is probably why he never once regretted moving in with you. he says it all the time, but he just feels so goddamn lucky to have you in his life. he loves you. he loves everything about you. even the things he doesn’t like, he loves.
“aren’t you going to eat that?”
you’re overflowing with his love, you can’t stomach anything else.
“i won’t.”
“i’ll indulge myself then.” he cages your hand in his, raising it for the wafer to reach his lips. he bites it all the way down like a bunny eating a carrot, ending the journey with a chaste kiss on your knuckle. “you’re too quiet… are you crying?”
you shake your head profusely, tightening your embrace. “i love you so much, i can’t think. i just want to hug you.”
he smells a different type of sweet nowadays— more manly, more mature, binding you in an enrapturing spell, and with a suble hint of a baby scent that somehow makes him much more intoxicating. it’s overwhelming to think about— the amount of perfume bottles you’ve bought and consumed after asking one another if they smell too basic or too strong; the amount of times jungkook changed his wallet and took the receipt along with him because it only felt right.
“mkay, i’m not going anywhere.” he whispers, nosing at your hair.
and so, he stays stuck by the glue onto you as he gulps down a bottle of water, as he returns his wallet in his pocket with grunts of difficulty, as he deletes a promotional text on his phone sent by his service provider. he suspects that you’ve already fallen asleep. after all, you did spend the entire night dancing to the songs he sang along to. you wore the crocheted blanket you made as a cape and a dress, flowing with your graceful movements controlled by the lyrics and the beat and the melody and his compliments and his giggles.
he’s proven wrong when you slowly turn your head, cheek squished against his bicep. with heavy eyelids, you search for his hands, tangling them with your lonely ones.
“want to hear something silly about that day?”
“i’m all ears.” he beams eagerly, watching you twiddle with his long and slender fingers.
“do you know why i offered you my food?”
“because you couldn’t let a pretty boy like me succumb to starvation?”
“weeeell, there’s that…” you admit to his confident guess. “but aside from that, i wanted to see your nails closely.”
“my nails?”
you make a noise of confirmation as you trace his tattoos, a laugh seeping from the cracks of your relaxed demeanor. “to see if they were clean and trimmed or not.”
“so…” jungkook, the most hygienic man you’ve ever met, is digesting what you just confessed to him. “if they were dirty, you never would’ve told me your name?”
“hmm, yeah. because i always badgered my ex about it and you know how that relationship ended, so i thought enforcing those type of rules would help because i don’t want to deal with that shit again.” you cringe at younger you’s naivety and desperation, smiling shyly. “and it kind of… worked out so well? it sounds so funny to me now. i actually love myself for that.”
“fuck, baby,” he sighs.
he can’t imagine how a human being could ever dare to treat you with anything but gentleness. literally, can’t. it makes him sick to his stomach, makes the blood in his veins boil. he feels disturbed by the memories that still haunt you, and he feels angry because he is powerless and he can’t erase them no matter how hard he tries.
he caresses your face, planting doting kisses on your lips. the ghost of his affection lingers, like an invisible lipstick mark. “i wish i met you sooner.”
“what are you saying? i think we met at the perfect time!” you console his frustration, grinning when the epiphany lands on top of your bittersweet flashbacks. “out of the 365 days of the year, we met at 11/11. you’re my wish come tru- bam!”
the shocked, high-pitched squeal freefalls from your mouth when bam excitedly jumps on your laps out of nowhere, the weight of his upper half crushing your thighs underneath him. the dog smiles at you, panting.
“bam, i missed you but i was just about to tell your dad something romantic!”
taglist in the reblogs! send an ask / dm if you want to be added (or removed) :D
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jaylver · 1 year
Text
ALL OF THE GIRLS YOU LOVED BEFORE — P.JS
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SYNOPSIS: growing up, you've always known this one boy who was your father's best friend's son. as you grew older, you watched the girls come and go, at the same time, you somehow got closer to him as well. feelings sparked and you progressively found yourself liking him. what were you going to do? kiss him.
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PAIRINGS: childhood friend!jay x afab!reader
GENRE: childhood friend to lovers, romance, a pinch of angst
WARNING(S): profanities, two of them being a bit dumb
WC: 3049
AUTHOR NOTES: i'm in a jay brainrot and after hearing miss swift's newest song, i knew i needed to write something. it isn't the best i admit, i rushed it HEKSJ but i hope you'll like it! PLEASE GIVE SOME FEEDBACKS THANKIES 🫶
masterlist | © jaylver 2023 all rights reserved
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Ever since you were a kid, you knew this boy from your father's best friend. Park Jong Seong, also known as Jay. He was the son of your father's life long best friend, but unlike them, you and Jay didn't happen to be as close.
You were six when you first met him. It was his birthday and your dad had dragged you over to his house against your will, typical. You didn't have any high expectations for him as a kid, just wishing he had some legos for you to play.
Up till the moment you were facing him, your fathers introducing you to each other, you only realised how cute he was. Yes, little six year old you might've had a love at first sight moment. You can't blame yourself, his chubby cheeks and shy demeanour made you more curious.
You handed him his present silently, watching as he accepted it and in the next moment, his face broke into a small smile, grabbing your wrist and bringing you into his playroom.
Unfortunately, you and Jay barely met up after that, both of you having busy lives and your parents having no time to bring you to playdates either. You didn't think much of it as a kid, thinking of him as the funny boy who had tons of legos and that was it.
You figured you'll never see him again despite him being your father's best friend's son, but you were wrong. In the next few years, you would always go over his house for birthdays and the new years, it basically became a tradition. 
Of course, only seeing one another once or twice a year, each year would be a different version of him, and you began noticing the big change he went through when you were sixteen. 
Jay was much taller, voice deeper, his hair parted in a different way, his style evolved and the way his face had changed too … lord, he evolved like a pokemon.  
You being a sixteen year old teen wasn't helping either. It was the prime year for a girl like you to be having crushes, chasing after guys, basically overwhelming hormones that had you thinking Jay was cute. Cute cute. 
On that specific new year, you remembered having to do a double take when you entered the Parks' house, not realising he was, in fact, Jay. You hid the shyness and did what you always do whenever you're around for New Years Eve. 
But that night, both of your parents were out for a party, in their words 'a party for adults', dumping their kids alone at home instead. It was awkward to say the least, having to sit on the far end of the couch with a movie playing in the background, Jay seeming half entertained by it.
"Hey," he scooted over and you turned over to see him inching close and closer until his shoulder was against yours.
"Yeah?" He can't be trying to hook up, right? You can't help but think, nervousness creeping up your throat.
"I heard there's a New Years party in town, let's sneak out?"
"Really?" 
"Do you trust me?"
"I–I guess?"
"It's a 'yes' or 'no', Y/N,"
Panic and adrenaline rushed over you, fearing your parents would beat your ass knowing you're sneaking out, but it was Jay. You couldn't really say no. "Yes, fine,"
Jay replied only with a happy grin, snatching your wrist and switching the tv off, dashing out into the garage. "Don't worry, I've driven before,"
"If you crash, I'll kill you," you hissed but Jay ignored your threat, blissfully driving to the town.
Along the way, it felt like a scene from a coming of age movie. The radio was turned to the fullest volume, the two of you screaming your lungs out to the lyrics and having the windows opened, wind blowing against your faces. 
The ride was quite short but memorable, your hand was in Jay's the whole time as he led you through the fun fair, the whole town alighted with bright lights and loud music. 
The clock was ticking and Jay had finally dragged you to a specific spot. The place was empty and quiet, but the sky was clear and there weren't any buildings to cover your sight.
"This spot is the best for fireworks," Jay mentioned, sitting on the ground, which you followed suit.
"Really?"
"Yeah, my friend's brought me here once,"
"That's … cool," you said uneasily, an awkward tension unknowingly settled between the two of you.
"How's life for you?" Jay glanced at you, a hint of genuine curiosity in his eyes.
"It's fine. Typical highschool stuff. A guy did confess to me once, but I didn't feel the same," you found yourself babbling secret information, unsure why you were suddenly so comfortable with Jay. Maybe it was his presence, or maybe it was just him in general.
"You're amazing obviously, I'm not surprised he confessed. Just a shame it wasn't mutual," Jay said and your ears perked up.
Jay thought you were amazing. 
"Right," you choked out, slightly flustered. "What about you?"
"It's chill, not much going on," Jay was fidgeting with his fingers, chewing on his lips. "I'm in a band with my friends though,"
"Oh! That's really cool,"
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," you repeated. "I'm sure you're super good. What position are you?"
"I play the guitar,"
"You should teach me someday,"
"You should come by more often," he confessed, gulping a little after realising what he had said. "It's been a long while since we've met,"
"You're right, come pick me up then,"
"Only on nights my parents are out," he laughed, pausing for a second. "Come to my show one day,"
He wasn't asking, he was making it clear he wanted you there. 
"Of course, I'd love to."
The night faded off into colourful fireworks, small jokes that would soon be inside jokes in the future, and tired laughs rang into the quietness.
This was the only time you were sixteen and doing something wild, considering you would never ever have the balls to sneak out, but you were glad you did it that night, and all of it together with Jay. 
Your lives went on and though you and Jay barely kept in contact, his request rang in your head from time to time. You felt like you've known him all your life, yet you knew completely nothing about him at the same time.
Around April the same year, you went over to his house to celebrate your birthday together with him since you two shared close birthdays and it pretty much became a tradition by now. 
Upon arriving, you awkwardly stepped into the house, your parents too busy talking with Jay's parents out in the garden. Everything was familiar to you, but also unfamiliar as you've never travelled further in, feeling slightly tense while you sat yourself on the couch.
"Y/N?" 
You turned your head around, meeting Jay's eyes, his body leaning against the wall. He smiled at once, approaching you and taking a seat next to you, he was a little too close.
"Jay, hi," you breathed out, blinking slowly. 
"How have you been? We haven't seen each other much lately, but you do seem like you're having fun in your stories," for a moment you've forgotten you and Jay were following each other on Instagram, having the access to view your day to day life.
"Oh, it's nothing, just a girl's trip," he was referring to the day you went out of town with your friends, quite surprised he somehow took note of it.
"Sounds fun," he mused, nodding a little. "By the way, my girlfriend's coming, I hope you don't mind,"
You totally just experienced whiplash, completely bewildered that he had a … girlfriend?! You weren't surprised since he's cool, tall, handsome and super smart, but you hadn't expected it this early.
"I'm chill with it," you laughed it off, trying to seem nonchalant. "I didn't know you had a girlfriend,"
"Oh, yeah, we met at a gig of mine," he gave you a half grin. "Which you should totally come and get blown away by my skills,"
"As if," you giggled. "Send me the place, I'll pop by soon,"
"You promise?"
"I do."
Your sixteenth birthday definitely did hurt more compared to your past ones and it had a simple reason behind it. Well, it was because of Jay. The same Jay you couldn't help crushing over despite having the slightest contact with, but you didn't care, you knew him all your life, and he's the Jay you've always recognized, the same sweet and caring one.
Seeing his girlfriend's birthday card that was written for him on the table had you swallowing your cake sadly. Hearts were drawn around his name in her handwriting. Totally cool.
You kept your promise to Jay and stopped by one of his gigs without letting him know, which surprised him. On the other hand, you were the one who's more surprised. He did live up to his expectations, charming you and the crowd with his guitar skills and honey vocals. Gosh, whatever you were feeling for him, forget it, it's not dissipating.
To repay your kindness, Jay promised to turn up to one of your football games and you just laughed it off, waving your hands, but you knew for a fact that once he had said it, he was really going to do it.
And so he did. He was a man of his words. Luck was on your side too, winning the game victoriously and seeing Jay running up to you once the game was over, the biggest grin plastered on his face. He was practically telling you how good you were that day, bringing you for ice cream after.
Ever since then, your relationship with him grew unexpectedly. You were 17 together, then 18, watching the girls in Jay's life come and go, but the moment you had a boyfriend yourself, he wasn't the most keen on it.
You told yourself he was probably just protective, going through a phase where you thought he just "wouldn't get it". Oh how terribly wrong you were. He did get it, and your first boyfriend ended up breaking your heart.
You cried over a boy whose name you couldn't remember now, hiding in the bathroom until Jay had to drive to your house and slammed your door repeatedly for you to get out.
You said nothing, just falling into his chest with a thud and crying your eyes out. You knew he had a secret 'I told you so' in him, but he didn't say anything, keeping you in his arms until the sun had set.
21, college and being legal enough for alcohol, you and Jay explored frat parties, both being single and available, it was a hidden opportunity. Shots were downed into your throats and thankfully, you shared good alcohol tolerance levels with Jay, meaning it would be a long night ahead.
Someone had brought up hide and seek as the night's party game, and you initially thought it was stupid, but once you heard the winner getting a deal of a 100 dollars, you were in, partnering with Jay naturally.
On the count of ten, you dashed around the frat house with Jay's hand in yours, him following behind like a lost puppy. You entered someone's bedroom, finding a lucky hiding spot in a closet, pulling Jay in.
You closed the closet door shut, not realising how tight the space actually was, your chest pressed against Jay's, heat radiating off of each other's body. You've officially dug yourself a grave.
"Hi," Jay whispered, his gaze soft paired with a childish grin on his face.
"Hi," you smiled back at him, your eyes wandering all over his face, scrutinising his features.
"It's a little hot in here," Jay fanned himself a little awkwardly from the limited space. 
"Definitely," you looked away for a second before staring back at him. "You have a really nice mole here," your finger grazed against his face, but he didn't flinch, accepting your touch.
"Do I?"
"Yeah," you murmured, your fingers moving to the side of his face, gently brushing loose strands of hair away from his face. He was so painfully pretty, you quietly thought in your head.
"You're really pretty, Y/N," he said out of the blue, causing you to freeze, catching you completely off guard. "I don't think I've said it once, but I've always thought you were pretty, beautiful even,"
Uh oh, you're falling in love.
"I don't know what to say," you said truthfully, gulping nervously. "I'm flattered, really, I—uh—thank you," you laughed, your cheeks getting unbearably red.
"You're flustered," he leaned in close to you, his eyes not leaving yours. He was inches away from you, his cologne infiltrating your senses, the scent a little too familiar.
Oh no, you're falling in love again.
"Shut up," you punched his shoulder. "You're such a tease,"
"You love that about me," 
"Sure," you rolled your eyes, ignoring his piercing gaze.
"Can I kiss you?"
"Will you regret it?" Uncertainty laced in your tone, scared, anxious, that you'd ruined something between the two of you.
"No," he answered with a certain sureness in his voice, his eyes truthful and honest. "Will you?"
"If I do, I wouldn't be doing this—" you pulled him in close by the back of his neck, pressing your lips onto his, your brain turning into mush. 
His lips reciprocated back, kissing you deeply and having to place his hand on the side of your neck for some stability. The kiss was more than just a simple one, not the kind that would be forgotten easily, there was something more to it.
It felt like aeons before you finally broke apart, panting heavily against each other's lips, your hands still on his shoulder; his hand now on your waist. 
Oh, you're falling in love.
There were many things you've regretted in life, but this? You would do it over and over again if you had the choice to, and maybe you do.
"I—"
"Is there anyone here?" A voice came from the outside and the two of you froze, hoping it wasn't the seeker. "The game's over," the person yelled out before you heard the door shutting.
"We survived it," you muttered cheekily, trying to ignore Jay's gaze.
"Yeah—uh—" he brushed his hand against his pants, the tension in the air thick enough to be sliced by a knife. "Should I drive you home?"
"Please do."
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Ever since that night at the frat party, you've been on and off with Jay. You were caught up with work and Jay was busy, but the part where he said he was having a date did set you off completely.
None of you talked about the kiss. You didn't like the fact that you didn't, waiting for him to speak up about it first, but you hated the waiting game, yet you still couldn't make the first move. Jay seemed like he was about to talk about it every time he hung out with you, but he never did.
Days turned into a week, having only seen Jay once or twice, you figured you were avoiding each other. You hated the feeling, you were dreading it, dreading the fact that one day something like this would happen, and it did.
The silent treatment ended the moment when you were forcefully pulled into his dorm room when you passed by one day. Letting out a yelp in fear until you realised it was Jay. 
"Jay?"
"Hi," he gave you an apologetic smile, holding onto your hand softly. "I—uhm—figured we have to talk … about that night,"
"Oh,"
"Are you avoiding me?" He cut to the chase, shocking you a little.
"No, I thought you were,"
"I wasn't," his eyebrows were furrowed, a quizzical look on his face. Were you two just in denial?
"Look, you asked me if I will regret the kiss and up until now, no, I didn't," sincerity shone in his eyes, his chest heaving. "But did you?"
"Of course not," you breathed out truthfully, noticing a sign of relief in his features.
"Good, because I like you, Y/N," Jay confessed, his gaze dropping to the ground to avoid your wide eyes, hands squeezing yours gently. "All of the girls that I've had in my life, they couldn't compete, you were the only one who mattered most to me. I never realised that, I admit, until I found myself trying to find a little bit of you in the girls I've dated, but none of them could ever compare to you."
You were stunned speechless, your heart twisting and pounding hard against your chest.
"I didn't want to repeat the mistake of doing all the avoiding, it's dumb, so I just want to talk to you here, one on one," he continued. "I'm sorry it took me years to realise. I was in denial that I liked you, I was scared you didn't, and the date I went to, I just couldn't stop thinking about us,"
You resisted the urge to smile, watching as Jay rambled in panic. "I like you too, Jay, ever since we were kids," you shook his hand, trying your best to put on the most reassuring smile. "To be fair, I'm in the wrong too, I didn't really have the balls to say anything either, but I'm just glad we're here now,"
Jay processed your words, features twisting from shock to relief, clear euphoria in his gaze. "Can I be your boyfriend?" 
"I thought you'd never ask,"
You pulled him in by his collar, pressing your lips onto his and you let your hand wander into his hair, feeling him smile against your lips at the gesture. You grinned into the kiss, eliciting a small laugh from Jay in between. You wished to stay like this forever with him.
The stars were aligned, your past and his were intertwined to bring the both of you together. All of the girls he's loved before, forget about them, they made Jay the man you've fallen for in the end, and you're thankful for that, loving him a lot. More than anything and everything.
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( © jaylver all rights reserved. do NOT copy, plagiarise or edit my work and repost whatsoever. once discovered will be exposed and blacklisted. )
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imaginedanvrs · 4 months
Text
caught in a snare
masterlist
dark!wandanat x reader
word count: 4k
warnings: alcohol consumption, intoxication, mind reading, degrading, forced entry, mind control, bondage, non-con turned dub-con, oral (r giving), gun play, knife play, choking, threats of violence, inflicted violence, fingering (r receiving), strap on sex (r receiving), double penetration, anal
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You were blissfully unaware of the forest green eyes that followed your every drunken move as you danced with your friends. If you were sober, maybe you would have caught on to the feeling of being watched by the redhead whose gaze was laid thick on you while you seemed oblivious to the world around you.
  “Come on,” a brunette said to your observer as she returned to the bar. “This place is a dump and I'm not feeling it tonight,” she continued with disdain, her accent peaking through so briefly it would have been missed by anyone in the club listening in. “Nat,” she huffed when she noticed her girlfriend wasn't listening, too focused on the mass of bodies dancing in the barely lit room.
  “Remember when you gave me shit for not getting you an anniversary present?” The redhead asked as she stared at the peak of skin between your jeans and shirt.
  The brunette didn't answer, instead following Natasha’s gaze and swiftly finding the object of her attention. She hummed in acknowledgement, instantly becoming just as curious by you as they watched you blatantly ignore a stranger's advances so that you wouldn't miss a second of the song that was making the walls vibrate.
  “The two in dresses are going to go to the toilets to fuck and the other one’s going to dance with the guy with the snake tattoo,” Natasha assessed.
  “Well I'm sure she won't want to stay any longer by then,” Wanda mused as she took in your giddy smile.
  As if on queue, one of your friends took the other by the hand with haste and dragged her through the club without a word to you. Meanwhile, your other friend began guiding her pursuer's hands to her hips, becoming quickly immersed in his touch. A few moments passed without you noticing your friends' engagements and Natasha tutted. Once it clicked, you looked like a deer caught in headlights. 
  You scanned the room as you stopped moving, wondering where best to situate yourself as you got your bearings and felt all the alcohol you had consumed that night hit you at once. You were clearly disorientated as you stumbled through the crowd.
  “Reckless thing, who knows who would snatch her up if we weren't here,” Natasha chided.
  “Come on, маленький, come to us,” Wanda encouraged. You couldn't hear them several metres away, nor did Wanda use her telepathic aid, yet it was the bar you found yourself clinging to a minute later.
  “Water please,” you asked the bartender, your speech slightly slurred. The pair advanced.
  “You alright, honey?” Wanda enquired with a concerned smile. It was exactly what you needed to see at that moment.
  “Yeah,” you replied, entirely unconvincing as you smiled anxiously at the pair.
  “You look ready to go home,” Wanda continued.
  “My friends are here,” you informed quickly. The older woman was right, you did want to go, but you needed to wait for them.
  “But they're not here,” Natasha noted. You bit your lip as you searched the crowd for them, missing the glass of water placed in front of you. It vanished a second later.
  “Let us help get you home, sweetie, it's not safe to be out on your own,” Wanda said. It was hard to deny her and perhaps if the pair weren't wearing their widow veils and you knew they were Avengers, you wouldn't have objected.
  “I'm not on my own,” you insisted even though your friends were nowhere to be found. “Thank you but-” Wanda didn't have the patience to spend anymore time convincing you. It wasn't conversation the pair wanted from you. 
  “We're taking you home,” she stated, eyes flashing red so briefly that you passed it off as the strobe lights. Just like that, everything seemed to fall into place and a stress free, though still intoxicated, beam appeared on your lips 
  “Thank you,” you said sincerely. 
  “You're something else,” Natasha muttered to her partner as she got up to lead the way. Wanda placed a gentle yet assertive hand on your waist and guided you to follow Natasha while she followed behind, her hand becoming firmer the more bodies you had to get through.
  The fresh air that soon hit you did nothing to sober you up and only made you more disorientated, so much so that you were oblivious to the fact you three had left through a previously locked fire exit. You leaned back on Wanda when the alleyway you found yourself in started to spin. 
  “Woah,” you muttered. The two women shared a look as they helped you into their car. You didn't know you were in a flashy stingray, but when Natasha turned the car on you noticed the expensive interior and began to panic that you would throw up in it.
  “Are you getting her address or shall I?” The brunette besides you asked. You frowned.
  “It's twenty-”
  “Shh,” Wanda assured, suddenly guiding your head into her lap. You were about to protest until you were struck with a sudden sense of peace, oblivious to the red whispered that danced around your head. You gave a contented sigh and simultaneously felt your drunken haze being lifted.
  “I don't know your names,” you spoke out without alarm.
  “I'm Wanda and that's Nat,” Wanda said sweetly. You really liked her.
  “Like the Avengers?” You asked in awe and almost missed Nat's chuckle. “That's cool,” you muttered. The pair glanced at each other in the mirror with knowing smirks. “I'm y/n.”
  “Pretty name,” Wanda commented as she tucked the hair behind your ear. “Pretty face,” she added. You felt the heat rise to your cheeks at the attention and squirmed under her gaze. Wanda returned her firm hand to your hip and you stilled.
  Pretty anniversary present, Natasha input.
  Belated anniversary present, Wanda corrected.
  Tell me she's not worth it.
  Depends how well she takes the red one, Wanda mused. She felt Natasha's excitement at the concept but kept quiet to not distract from the Friday night streets.
  Once they pulled up by your apartment, Wanda prompted for you to sit up and you thankfully did so without a wave of nausea hitting you. You weren't expecting the pair to follow you inside but simply put it down to two women helping another out, even if you were considerably less drunk than when they found you.
  “Lifts broken and I'm on the third floor. You don't have to follow me up,” you informed the pair as you almost tripped on a step. Wanda gave you a look that told you they weren't going so you led the way, unaware of the eyes that flickered to your ass.
  It was only once you were turning the keys in the lock and thanking the pair that your sense of caution returned. You, somehow, weren't drunk anymore and yet these women you didn't know were still lingering outside of your apartment. 
  “Really, I'd hate to keep you from continuing your night,” you said as you stood in the open doorway that you wanted closed.
  “It's barely begun,” Wanda mumbled as she brought her hand to your temple. You made to step away from her touch but your entire body was suddenly trapped in a state of paralysis. “Go to your room and strip,” she whispered, the tenderness she had earlier possessed now gone. Another difference was when your body complied with the order, your mind screamed at you not to. You were overtaken with fear as you made your way through the small apartment and heard the door close as the pair wandered in behind you. 
  “Oh, malysh, you should really take better care of yourself,” Wanda commented in what you now knew to be a condescending tone. You felt your anger brew as you realised she was going through your belongings while you undressed for her.
  “We'll do that for you,” Natasha suddenly spoke right behind you. She undid your bra and grazed her lips over your shoulder, smirking at the goosebumps that arose. “Be a good toy for her and maybe I'll play nice,” she whispered and you could do nothing to push her away.
  “Oh, Nat, you're scaring the poor thing,” Wanda chuckled as they watched you obediently take your underwear off. The moment they were discarded, you were given a heavy shove that made you lean over the side of your bed while your knees hit the floor with a painful thud. You whimpered at the pain it ignited and heard a pitiful coo from one of the women as your chin was lifted. Your eyes widened at what you took in.
  The two Avengers stood before you, rid of their clothes and masks and instead holding weapons. Wanda’s eyes were glowing red as she stared at you while her magic flowed freely from her fingers. The whisps flickered momentarily as you felt an intense pressure keep you down before it was listed for you to roam freely. Yet you wouldn’t dare, not when you knew what she could do along with the sinister handgun held at the redhead’s side.
  “So you do have some smarts about you,” Wanda said, confirming the rumours that had circulated in the media months ago that she could read minds.
 “”Here’s the deal, приятная вещь, you can behave and do exactly what we say,” the brunette explained as she sat herself at the head of your bed while Natasha grabbed at the back of your neck and hoisted you up to the space between Wanda’s spread legs. “Or we can make you,” she said just as the unforgiving steel of Natasha’s gun pressed into your bare back. “Either way…” she snaked her hand around to the hair at the back of your head and forced you to gaze down at her wet cunt. You wondered at what point in that twisted scene she had become so aroused, and why there was a growing ache between your own legs at the sight. 
  You weren’t blind to the fact that god clearly hadn’t spared them any favours in looks and that you, like many, had been crushing on the female Avengers for some time, but the situation they had put you in wasn’t right, so why did Wanda look so goddamn tempting?
  It was wrong, it was immoral, it was altogether fucked up, but with a sharp tug to your hair, your mouth was on the brunette. The second you tasted her, you didn’t need the threat of repercussions to keep you in place. Your tongue delved between her pussy lips and the moan you heard in response sealed your place in their arrangement and your own fate.
  “Fuck, you always have a good eye for them,” Wanda gasped.
  “Anything for you, моя любовь,” Natasha winked back. “I know she’s your present, but I hope you don’t mind if I just…” You heard the redhead trail off but ignored the distant alarm bells in your mind to instead give all your attention to flicking your tongue across Wanda in an effort to savour and explore her. 
  You were pulled from your lustful trance when you felt a cold blade press against your hip. Your eyes snapped to Wanda in a silent plea only to see her features brighten with excitement.
  “Just don’t go too deep this time,” Wanda chuckled as she watched the scene unfold with anticipation and pulled you in close enough that you could no longer catch her dark eyes.
  At the first cut, you inevitably jumped and scrambled to get away from the glistening blade but you were held in place by one strong hand to your back. Kept still against the already stained bedsheets, you whimpered and cried pitifully as Natasha’s skilled hands littered cuts across you, leaving scarlet streaks in place. 
  “Don’t stop,” Natasha warned with a deeper strike. “I’m barely touching you,” she huffed disapprovingly, pausing to let you recover and continue. You did so tentatively, waiting for the next sting to be inflicted but several minutes passed with the redhead merely tracing your skin with the back of her knife and you soon became fixated on Wanda again. 
  The cuts stung, but so did your scalp every time the brunette tugged and eventually those sensations entwined in the turmoil and were pushed to the background as Wanda’s pulsing clit became centre stage. The muscles of her thighs clamped around your head as her breathy moans and curses filled the room.
  “Such a good fucking mouth she’s got on her,” the brunette spoke and though it wasn’t directed at you, you flushed with pride. 
  Wanda came with an ecstatic cry and you swore that the taste of her cum was worth every cut that had littered across you. You missed Natasha’s approving hum at the sight, too caught up in making sure you didn’t miss a drop of her girlfriend. You swirled your tongue everywhere you could reach until Wanda was pushing you away. You whined. 
  “Greedy thing,” Wanda tutted with amusement, gripping your chin. 
  “I can’t blame her,” Natasha muttered, suddenly leaning over your body to your raised chin where, instead of kissing you, she licked the wetness that had gathered just below your lips. 
  “Let me watch you, Nat,” Wanda said as she watched you shift uncomfortably. “Give me a show.” You frowned, not understanding what the younger Avenger meant but apparently Natasha did. She wrapped her hand around the front of your throat and pulled you back with her until your calves were by your sides and your back was flat against Natasha’s front. 
  “So fragile,” the redhead commented as her hand previously on your neck travelled down gradually. She nipped along your shoulder and neck as she explored your stomach and squeezed your tits. Your breath hitched and you tried to move your neck away from Natasha’s markings but she easily overpowered you. 
  “If you keep squirming like that you might make my finger slip,” Natasha tutted as she tapped her gun against your stomach, her finger ready on the trigger. 
  “Please,” you whimpered as the redhead trailed her gun across you, settling it under your chin. Your throat briefly skimmed it when you swallowed your nerves. 
  “Please what, malysh?” Wanda asked. You looked at her with a plea that got stuck in your mouth the moment you took in how she was touching herself. “Go on,” she encouraged as she rubbed her swollen clit. 
  “She wants to hear you beg,” Natasha whispered to you, her free hand settling between your legs where she found your cunt to be as wet as her partner’s. “Do it,” Natasha ordered with a firm press of her weapon, adamant on seeing her present perform as she was expected to. 
  “Please don’t kill me,” you rushed out. Both women chuckled, seemingly not taking your request seriously in the slightest. 
  “That’s not what you really want to beg for,” Wanda said, teasing her entrance with two fingers. Your own pussy throbbed as Natasha’s digits ghosted over your neglected clit. “Beg her to fuck you,” she said, eyes dangerously dark. 
  “I…I don’t- ah!” You exclaimed as Natasha pressed hard on your clit and rubbed tight circles. “Fuck,” you cursed as you fought against your desires, inevitably loosing when you heard the redhead cock her gun. “Please fuck me,” you whimpered. 
  “I didn’t catch that,” Wanda smirked. 
  “Please fuck me!” You begged as Natasha’s rough fingers were stripped away. 
  “Why?” She mused as she dragged her wet nails down your stomach.
  “Because-” you hissed. “Because I need it, please!” You cried out, unable to distinguish if it was a plea for your life or for your pleasure. 
  “There it is,” Natasha smirked to her partner as she pushed three fingers in without warning. You were wet enough to take them, but the ache of the stretch was still very much present. “Fuck, what a tight slut,” the redhead chuckled as she thrust her fingers into your depths with persistence. You whined at the sting as Natasha scissored her digits against your soft walls, thumbing at your clit as you squirmed. 
  “You’re driving the pretty whore crazy, Natty,” Wanda moaned as she fingered herself steadily at the sight. “Does that feel good, detka?”
  “So good!” You moaned without hesitation, resting your head back on Natasha’s shoulder. She tossed the gun to the side and picked up her knife as she thrust her fingers wildly, bringing the shining blade up to your neck. You could hardly register it. You were so intoxicated with the feeling of the woman behind you filling you up, but the hot sting across your neck was prominent. 
  Your hands pinned between your bodies struggled to free themselves and grab at the knife, no matter how futile, but Natasha’s body didn't budge and your hands remained trapped. Luckily, the redhead didn’t linger too long on your neck and planted small cuts back down your torso. Though at that time, they bothered you far less. 
  “She looks so good like that,” Wanda groaned when you winced amongst the pleasure. “More,” she demanded and suddenly the cuts were deeper. A sob was dragged from your throat and Natasha merely fingered you harder in response. 
  “I can feel you gripping my fingers,” Natasha husked. “Don’t you dare cum before her,” she warned as she placed her knife against your throat again. You whined desperately in protest, unsure if you were going to be able to hold off much longer, especially when the redhead deliberately pressed against the spot that made your world spin. 
  “I can’t…I need- please!” You exclaimed as you struggled, giving Wanda the most pleading look you could manage. 
  “Poor thing,” Wanda mused as she fucked herself knuckle deep, letting you glimpse how soaked she was everytime she pulled them out. “You want me to cum?” She asked with a pout. 
  “Please,” you sobbed. 
  “Please,” Natasha mocked, curling her fingers harder. 
  Wanda came again with a low moan, shuddering against your headboard as she thrust her digits steadily through her orgasm. You thought that you yourself were seconds away from your own relief but the sadistic redhead withdrew her fingers and forced you to continue to watch the pleasure you were deprived of. You almost protested when you saw Wanda’s blissed smile but wisely restricted it to a needy whine. 
  “What’s the matter, love? You wanted to cum too?” Wanda asked, eyes sparkling with mischief. 
  “Yeah,” you said, voice hoarse.
  “You think you can manage that?” Wanda questioned as her fingertips produced a red glow until a blood red dildo appeared between the Sokovian’s legs securely. Similarly, you felt something obnoxious prod into your back from Natasha. Your eyes widened as you took in the large toy, recognising that you had never taken anything nearly that big before. Most likely hearing your thoughts, Wanda stroked the toy several times, as though giving you a preview of how it was going to stretch.
  “Don’t worry, it’ll help that you’re fucking soaked,” Natasha chuckled. A red glow appeared again though that time Wanda wrapped her magic around your body as she lay on her back and draped you over her with only your ass in the air for Natasha to grab. 
  “Wait,” you stammered when the toy brushed past your clit and teased your hole. Feeling the wide head spread your lips apart, you looked to Wanda to plead for more preparation but you didn’t get the chance because the redhead was forcing you down. 
  The stretch was unforgiving in its pressure and burn, forcing your soft walls apart with every inch it took. It filled you up in its entirety as Wanda guided your open mouth to her nipples where your moans became muffled and your eyes fluttered closed dutifully. 
  “Almost in, you just need your slutty holes filled by us, don’t you?” Wanda asked as she stroked your hair, a stark contrast to her words and the actions of her girlfriend who was forcing her inside you. “You just have to lay pretty and take it,” she said as the rest of the toy was shoved into your cunt. 
  “There you go,” Natasha hummed. 
  “Hurts,” you wheezed before your mouth was forced back around the Sokovian’s nipples. 
  “But it feels so good too, doesn’t it?” Wanda cooed as she lifted you off of the strap on only to slam you back down as she began to thrust. In your position, she could only pull out half way but it meant that the stretch lingered for longer while the pleasure emerged. 
  Once you were all consumed in the bliss of Wanda fucking your throbbing pussy, you jumped as Natasha spit on your ass and let it dribble down until it reached your tightest hole. You whined when she grazed her thumb over your ass, letting it hover in the anticipation of what you knew she was about to do and didn’t quite want to stop. 
  Natasha pushed her thumb past your ring just as Wanda filled you up with her fake cock and you let her nipple go with a gasp, clawing at the bedsheets around you to help adjust to the intrusion. “Fuck!” You groaned as the redhead toyed with your ass. She flexed and pumped her thumb inside you several times before replacing it with two fingers that had you spinning. 
“So fucking tight,” Natasha grunted. “Feel it, Wand.” You didn’t understand what that meant and you missed the red hues covering Wanda’s iris as she peaked into her partner’s mind to experience what she felt, cursing at the ghost sensations around her fingers. 
  “Ruin her for me, Natty,” Wanda encouraged with twisted adoration and began fucking your cunt with a refreshed vigour you weren’t prepared for. In that same split second, Natasha pulled her fingers out and pushed her strap against your ass, gripping your hips harshly as her cock stretched you open. 
  “Too much,” you protested but the redhead merely pushed your face into the bed and used it as better means to fuck you with. Suddenly, you were more full than you ever could have imagined as both your cunt and your ass were stuffed with the older women’s cocks while you lay weak against them. 
  Natasha spit on her dildo as she dragged the toy out of you, stroking it several times before pushing it back in entirely. Tears soaked your bedsheets at what you could’ve sworn felt like being split open to accompany the redhead’s toy down to the base with her hips flush against you. 
  The moment they began thrusting together, you crumbled, unable to handle the force they used to fuck you or the fact that it felt so fucking good. Your moans were incoherent against the bed but no one seemed to care when the wet sounds from your cunt spoke loud enough for you. 
  “Such a good fucktoy,” Natasha groaned as she snapped her hips against you. “Happy anniversary, moya lyubov,” she grinned, pushing your head down further as she leant over you to embrace her girlfriend in a heated kiss you hardly registered. Their pace didn’t falter as they made out over you, continuing to pump themselves into your holes harder. 
  You couldn’t even move between the pair. You were trapped between their overpowering frames as they thrust as deep as they could each time and rubbed every nerve enough to make your body weaker by the second. You were consumed by them, all together entangled in the mess of twisted pleasure you only became more lost in until you reached the point of no return. You couldn’t communicate this to the pair but luckily one of them was already in your head. 
  “Cum, sweet thing,” Wanda coaxed. “Show us how much of a desperate slut you really are.” With that, you tripped and stumbled over the edge in a disorientated blur, falling blissfully through the air until you were slumped right back in that bed with the two Avengers who showed no signs of stopping. 
  “I can’t,” you tried to tell them, yet you did just moments later.
  “We’re going to have so much fun with you,” Wanda whispered against your ear as she slowed her pace for you to be able to process her words. “We’re just getting started,” she told you when an unrelenting pressure started around your neck once more.
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shallyouobeyme · 7 months
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Fortune
Platonic Yander Malfoy!Family x Dragon!reader (GN)
Summary: A long time ago there lived a species of dragon-hybrids with magical gifts. You - one of these hybrids - had the gift of bringing good fortune to whoever was close to you, but as you'd soon learn, using your gift to help others would only endanger you...
! Minors do not interact !
TW: Not Canon Complainant about the Malfoy's backstory, imprisonment, manipulation, kidnapping, infantilisation (kinda), I do not condone this - this is all fiction
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One or two Centuries ago, when muggles still believed in magic and fantastical creatures roamed the earth almost freely, many more kinds of species lived in nature. Some of them were closely related to creatures still on this planet in the present. One example of such a case was a kind of dragon that had long since left the face of the earth, one that shared many similarities with the humans around it. In fact, these dragons had the ability to shift from their full dragon form to that of a bipedal, humanoid dragon-person hybrid. Further than their ability to shift though was their ability to innately use magic.
Now, their abilities were not like the abilities of wizards and witches who could put their magic into words and gestures, using their magic as a medium to achieve many different goals. Instead, they tended to be born with a specific magical talent that differed from case to case - some could control different elements (since these dragons did not naturally have the ability to breathe fire or water), some could communicate with nature, some changed the weather, and others could use their scales to make themselves invisible to any living and dead being.
One of these dragons, still a young fetchling when this story began had a rare and sought-after ability - the ability to attract fortune. Something every dragon with a knack for hoarding (so almost all) would kill for, which was why the little dragon-hybrid was told from a very young age to keep hidden from creatures that would use them and their powers for their own gain. This young dragon was you - and often, when you now fell asleep, you still dreamt of the night that would turn out to be the one to doom your entire life.
You had barely just started to fly without your parent's supervision and after being kept at home for your entire (short) life in hopes that no one would try to use you, your curiosity for real life and everything beyond the mountain you called home grew restless. So you did what any curious child with the ability to fly would do and you took off to where you knew the nearest village to be. You landed a few miles away from it, well aware that your parents would be furious beyond belief if you went into town and let your existence be known to humans. After all, your parents always did make a point of mentioning just how greedy and selfish humans tended to be.
You were a fool to not believe them. You were in your humanoid form - comparable with a human child of about eight or nine years - as you stepped into a clearing. The sound of sobbing echoed through the trees around you and your eyes fell onto a form hunched onto the floor in sobs. They looked similar to you, but a lot smoother, and without any horns or wings protruding out of their back. Honestly, they looked really strange, but your parents had described something similar to what you were seeing and they had said that these smooth wingless things were humans. Obviously, you were intrigued.
"Why are you crying?" you asked in your young, squeaky voice and the human jumped up, turning to look at you in shock. Their eyes widened even further at your appearance, but they seemed too shaken to properly realize what was going on.
"You-You're a - You're a dragon?" they finally stuttered out, their tears long forgotten. You couldn't help but giggle, of course, you were a dragon, what else were you supposed to be?
"Yes I am, and you're a human, right?" you asked and they only responded by nodding, "then why were you crying, human?"
"I-" They seemed to question their reality for a second, probably wondering if they should tell a random little dragon-hybrid their sorrows, but they responded nonetheless, "My mother... She's very ill and I don't have the money to buy the medicine she needs, I fear that she'll pass away soon and then I will be all alone in the world."
As their tears build up again, you feel yourself sympathize with the human. Sure, you had your parents, but they were travelling all of the time, leaving you to your own devices and even your siblings had been allowed to leave the nest and make a way of their own, it was just you who was kept alone in the cave under the pretence of protection. So you very well knew how it felt to be alone, to be lonely. And so you knew that if you could do something against someone else feeling like that, then you would.
"I can help you!" you exclaimed excitedly at the thought of doing something good.
"What? How?" the human - you decided that if humans were at all similar to your own kin then they must have been a man - asked, completely perplexed as you walked towards him, stopping just a step away.
"It's my gift, I can bring fortune to people, I can help you make the money you need for the medicine," you were smiling brightly now, but the human still seemed confused. 'How,' he just asked and you told him to kneel down. Usually, your presence alone was enough to attract riches and riches beyond most people's dreams, but you knew that if you wanted to help someone attract fortune without being near them, you had to use a different tactic. And so, once the man had knelt down, you pressed a kiss to his forehead and a shimmer of silver light sparkled over his face - the same silver of your scales.
After that you left for home, but before you could take off the human called out to you: "What's your name? Will I see you again?"
"I'm Y/N - and I don't know, I hope so," you responded as you took flight and the last thing they shouted to you before the distance was too large to hear them was that their name was Layton Malfoy.
After that, you used every chance you had to fly to that clearing where Layton was usually already waiting for you - he'd tell you all these amazing stories of his life and he'd entertain you, trying to be your best friend. At least you thought that was all he wanted. What you didn't realize was that slowly but surely he was trying to keep you by his side longer and longer, always finding another reason as to why you should stay, telling you how your parents were using you, about how they weren't these amazing dragons that you thought them to be. And maybe because you were just a lonely child who was just desperate for the attention or maybe because Layton was your first friend and you didn't believe friends would lie to each other, you believed him. And so after he kept telling you all these things about how he was the one who would actually protect you, about how he'd finally let you live a normal life, you left the clearing with him towards his home town - thinking about how you'd return home one day and tell your parents about how wrong they were about humans and about all the great things you lived through.
You never returned home though, in fact, you never saw your parents again. Decades later - you were now comparable to a human teenager - Layton's grandchildren had told you that the dragon-hybrids had been declared extinct after they had been hunted for their powers and their horns. The Malfoy heir told you that he was so happy that his grandfather had 'taken you in' and how the entire family just felt thankful that you hadn't been hunted as well. He elected to ignore the fact that you were shackled to a wall in a secret Cellar below their large estate - possible only because they had you locked away to attract them money,.
After finding out about the cruel fate of your kin, you shifted into your dragon form attempting to not give the Malfoy any sense of result by responding to them or even just paying attention to them. You rolled into yourself, closed your eyes and stopped things but eat, drink and sleep. No matter how often the ever-evolving generations of Malfoys tried to get you to interact with them, you just stayed silent. Honestly, you were surprised that after decades of silence, they still tried to talk to you - wasn't your presence in their cellar enough? You were still attracting fortune for them, what more did they want? Over the years they tried to get you out of your shell by decorating your cellar with numerous pillows and blankets and things that dragons loved in their hord. Your Chamber probably had more money, jewels and riches in it than their bank account. And yet, as much as you secretly appreciated your new horde, you stayed silent.
At least until a new Malfoy was born and old enough to come down to you on his own. Lucius was just a child when he saw you for the first time lying curled into yourself in your pile of riches and pillows and blankets, but even he could see the sadness in your form. And so he tried to talk to you, but like his parents and grandparents had told him, the dragon in their cellar did not talk. But he didn't stop, he told you about how he thought the family had enough money already, about how he thought they should let you free and how you'd be able to breathe fresh air again once he became the patriarch of the family. Maybe it was the earnestness in his voice or the fact that he reminded you of yourself when you were a hatchling, still trusting in the world around you, but you caved and you shifted for the first time in what must have been over 100 years.
It was safe to say Lucius was ecstatic and the two of you soon became close. You talked to him and him only, and he enjoyed it immensely. He tried to spend as much time as possible down with you and was so close to you that you actually let him nap with you in your horde (he always got to lie on the parts with lots of pillows and blankets, because you knew humans were a lot more sensitive than you). And as he grew older you tried to remind him of his promise and at first he agreed, but the older he grew the more unsure he seemed. Still, he agreed - probably knowing that you'd stop your friendship with him once you realized that he didn't intend to keep his promise anymore.
It was only once he came down, dressed all in black, now an adult with his own child, telling you that his father Abraxas had passed because of a case of Dragon Pox - a cruel wink of fate as you couldn't help but think - that you excitedly ran towards the bars of your cage, believing that you'd finally be let out of this horrible prison. Only that Lucius didn't open the door. 'Why?' you asked him, silver streaks of tears streaming down your cheeks, 'Don't you have enough Fortune? Is the money really worth it?'.
"It was never about the money, at least not for me if it was just that I would let you go in a heartbeat, but I know that the second I let you out you'll be gone. You'll leave me behind, here without you, and I don't think I can do that Y/N. I need to know that you're here, safe, where I always know you're well cared for. I hope one day you'll be able to forgive me - even if I'm not there to experience it."
That was the day you realized that Lucius and Narcissa - and after his son Draco as well - would never let you go. They did try to make your living 'situation' more comfortable, changing out the bars to your cave with an actual door after putting enough spells on you to keep you from ever leaving the premises of their mansion, keeping you from kind of violence against them and keeping alerting them should you ever be in any kind of distress or danger. Soon they had integrated you into their everyday life, treating you like a child to be protected and not like you've had lived longer than they could ever imagine. Even Draco - who grew up with you as a constant in his life - developed the same sense of protectiveness that his parents had, as if he wasn't a literal child, and when it was time for him to leave for Hogwarts he insisted you writing him at least once a week, because otherwise he was sure he'd go insane with worry (at least that was what he said).
And so, while for a few decades, you had actually thought freedom was close, you soon realized that you had just switched one prison against a slightly more glamorous one - and it seemed that as long as there were Malfoys, you'd never be able to escape it.
A/N: This is based on another great idea by @sol565 so I wanna give them a big thanks and a big shoutout ❤️❤️❤️
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