#f if im like. playing through with a friend irl

[bbyquokka]

you’re not my secret anymore, but my lover. ˖⁺｡˚⋆˙♥️

🦙: pairing: Hyunjin & f!reader

🦙: genre: smut, 18-? DNI! fluff and a bit of angst (possibly ??)

🦙: synopsis: realising your feelings for Hyunjin have become more that just friends with benefits, you came clean to everyone

🦙: warnings: cheating, unprotected sex, bondage (hands bound), degrading names, (slut, whore) pet names, reader is fucked dumb, orgasm denial, explicit language, fingering, clit play

🦙: words: 3.3k

🦙: a/n: part 2 of  ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Got secrets i cant tell got requested so i thought, why not do it! i already had some ideas before i got the request but didnt know if i should write a continuation, so ty anon for requesting! thank you for all the love on the first part as well 🥰 as always, likes, reblogs and feedback is always welcome! lmk if i missed anything in the warnings and ty!

🦙: side note: i got a message from an anon shortly after i posted p1 claiming that because i write about cheating, they’re going to assume i cheat irl. Please note that what i write about, doesn't imply this is how i think or feel about SKZ and how I feel about certain topics. my work is fictional! There are warnings for a reason. you do not have to like my work, that is fine. you cannot appeal to everyone's taste, however, please do not think it is okay to come to my inbox and message me something like this. just simply scroll past my post. Myself and other writers aim for constructive feedback. Please think before you send messages because it can be demotivating. Thank you.

🦙: master list

"Hyunjin.." you breathed out. "Please, i cant take it no more!" A chuckle erupted from the man who was currently situated between your legs.

"i warned you what would happen if you carried on (Y/N) you want to behave like a brat, you will get punished like on." he growled lowly before licking a slow and long strip from your entrance to your clit, sucking and nibbling it gently. you whined, tugging at your restraints. your hands are currenly bound together by Hyunjin's belt.

Hyunjin licked, nibbled and sucked on your clit, hands on your inner thighs pushing them apart as well as stopping you from closing them around his head. you was sensitive, your body on fire as waves of pleasure rippled through your body, toes curling. Hyunjin pulled away and licked his middle and index finger. you watched him through hooded eyes, chest rising up and down rapidly due to your laboured breathing.

Hyunjin slipped his saliva coated fingers into you, hissing at the warmth and tightness that welcomed his fingers. he thrusted them in and out, starting of slowly, gradually picking up the pace. he curled his long fingers inside aiming for the sweet spot. Your eyes widen as loud moans in the form of his name rolled off your tongue indicating he hit it. he smirked and began to rub fast circles on your clit with his thumb.

"Let me touch you, hyunjin. please! im sorry, i wont do it again. just let me free." you cried out, hot tears welling in your eyes. hyunjin licked his lip slowly, eyebrow raised as he watched you turn red with frustration, your pussy clentching around his digits

"i told you, (Y/N) behave like a brat, you get punished like one." you thought it would be a good idea to tease hyunjin in public. you'd innocently brush your hand over his crotch, occasionally giving it a light squeeze. you'd look around and when you was sure there was no one around, you flashed your breasts at him, giggling like a naughty school girl.

hyunjin warned you more than once. on the 5th warning - he should have just warned you 3 times, thinking you learnt - he dragged you to the nearest hotel, stripping you off your clothes and binding your wrists together with his belt. He started to play with your breasts and pussy, denying you of your orgasm and the ability to touch him. to say you was frustrated, was an understatement.

the famillar knot that was forming soon disappeared as Hyunjin removed his fingers, licking his fingers and humming at the taste of your wetness. "you always taste so good for me." he groaned. you mewled at his words, pussy convulsing. you wanted to cum so bad that it was getting painful for you.

"You're being such a good girl for me. Have you learnt your lesson? when i warn you more than once and you dont listen, this is what happens." He cooed at you, stroking your hot, flushed cheek. You nodded fast, the room spinning slightly. "Use your words princess."

"I've learnt my lesson. Please, i need you so bad, it hurts." You begged. Your body was trembling slightly with desire, tears falling down your cheek as you chewed your bottom lip. Hyunjin licked his lips, loving the way you begged and pleaded for him. He loved how he has made you like this. He wasnt a possessive person but something about you made him want to have you all for himself. He knew that that wasnt allowed considering you was still with your partner, even after all these months of you two sleeping with each other behind their back.

Stripping himself of his clothing, he flipped you on your stomach. Your head lay on the hotel pillow, your bound hands inbetween your legs, under your stomach. Hyunjin positioned himself behind you, grabbing your hips and lifting you up on your knees. You spread your legs apart, giving him full view of your aching pussy, which was coated in your wetness, clit red and swollen and your inner thighs decorated with purple bruises.

You shook your ass at Hyunjin, giggling cheekily before letting out a yelp as his hand came into contact with your flesh followed by a loud slap. "You're so cheeky, (Y/N) You know how to rile me up and as much as i want to continue to tease you and hear you beg to cum, im at my limit."

Hyunjin grabbed his hard cock, tip red and coated with pre cum. He gave it a few strokes before teasing your entrance, rubbing his tip against it, coating it in your arousal. You shook your hips more, indicating that he should just put it in already. He chuckled before pushing his length inside, the glorious burn from the stretch causing you to moan and shiver. No matter how many times you two go at it, you'll never get use to his size. He pushed himself inside until he was balls deep, groaning at the warmth and tightness of your pussy.

"Move." You whispered. Hyunjin grabbed your hips and started thrusting slow before picking up the pace once he heard how frequently you was moaning out. His hips smacking against your own, the grip on your hips tightening as Hyunjin positioned himself, aiming for the squishy spot. Your eyes widen as he hit it, causing you to moan his name loudly in a string of curses.

Hyunjin moved one hand down your spine and into your hair, tugging it roughly. You was overwhelmed by the pleasure that you lost the ability to think. Your mouth hung open in a O shape. drool falling past your lips. Your throat becoming dry with the endless amounts of panting. The only words you could form was "Hyunjin" and "Good".

"My, my. It looks like i have fucked you dumb, yet again. My little slut, going dumb for me, for this cock that you love so much. You such a cock whore, (Y/N). It shows with how well this dirty cunt is taking me in." You whimpered at his dirty words, feeling degraded but you liked it when he spoke like this to you. It helped you and him to chase your highs faster. You've learnt that Hyunjin is the type of person to want to cum together with his partner.

Your pussy clenched around him tightly, Hyunjin's movements sloppy. The knot was tightening in your stomach. All you could focus on was chasing your high along with Hyunjin.

"C-close. want to cum.." you whimpered.

"its ok. you've endured enough baby. Cum around my cock, princess." You nodded and allowed yourself to let go. You moaned Hyunjin's name loudly, body twitching as your walls clamped around Hyunjin's cock. Hyunjin moaned with you, movements coming to a stop as he painting your insides white, before thrusting into you shallowly, riding out both your highs.

He pulled out off you slowly, swallowing when his cum trailed out off you and down your thighs, dripping onto the sheets. Your legs became weak as you collapsed. you closed your eyes, basking in the glory of being fucked by a God. You felt sleep slowly taking over you before you felt a pair of strong arms flip you onto your back gently, unbinding your wrists and kissing them softly before picking you up bridal style and walking to the bathroom.

"Where we going?" you asked sleepily, head resting against his shoulder.

"Getting you cleaned up. aftercare is important after sex, baby. Anyways, you have to look fresh before you go back home." You nodded, biting your lip.

Ah. Home. Back to reality. Back to pretending and acting like nothing is happening. You was ultimately living a double lifestyle. You know you should break up with your partner, it's only fair and humane, but not only is the danger of possibly getting caught either by him or one of their friends, you didnt have the heart to break his heart. Which, to an outsider looking in, seems stupid. What you're doing, is the ultimate betrayal. But, you and hyunjin are just fuck buddies, no strings attached and all that. Right??

you tried to ignore it. you tried to convince yourself that your feelings was all because you was 'in the moment' The longer you ignored, the stronger the feelings became. You soon found yourself checking your phone every 5 minutes to see if Hyunjin had sent you a text, stalking his instagram, saving his photos, daydreaming about him. When you was away from him, ultimately living your double life, you craved him like a high schooler that had a crush.

Your relationship with your partner, however, started to become stale. You hardly spoke to one another, instead of eating at the dining table like you use to, you'd either be eating alone or sat with a lap tray in front of the tv screen. Things in the bedroom department became stale to. You didnt feel the need to have sex with them, purely because you was getting your insides ruined every other day by Hyunjin. If your partner made the first move, you'd make excuses "Im tired." "I feel sick" "Im not in the mood, maybe later." and when you did have sex, you'd often imagine it was Hyunjin, although it didnt help because your partner and Hyunjin treated you differently in the bedroom.

You soon realised that this wasn't just a friends with benefits deal for you anymore when Hyunjin took you out on a date. You lied to your partner, saying that you had to be away from home due to a 'work conference' when in reality, Hyunjin was taking you somewhere special, somewhere out off town to reduce the risk of getting caught.

The day started off with Hyunjin greeting you dressed in casual wear, holding roses. You felt your heart skipping beats, butterflies errupting in your stomach. You ignored the feeling, but as your day continued, they got stronger and stronger until you couldnt ignore it no more. It also didnt help that Hyunjin was treating you like a princess, buying you whatever you wanted, claiming that you're his princess so you should be treated like one. You had lunch at a cafe, talked about everything and everyone. The day ended with dinner at a fancy restaurant topped with endless hours of sex back at the hotel room.

You didnt want to return back to your old, boring life. You had such fun, being able to do what you wanted, be doted upon and not have to think about real life. Coming to the realisation that you love Hyunjin, you love him more than you thought you could ever love a person, that you had fallen hard for him, you debated on whether to tell him or not.

You was scared. Scared of rejection. What if your feelings were just one side, that this whole thing is just sex to Hyunjin. Nothing more, nothing less. But why would he treat you with such care? Like you're the most expensive diamond in the world that needs to be protected at all cost. You settled on not telling him, keeping it to yourself. You'd rather have him as a fuck buddy than not have him at all.

As time went on, your worries and concerns started to reflect and affect your everyday life. Your partner was starting to suspect something was going on, questioning you causing you to lie or deny everything. Soon after, Hyunjin started to suspect that something was wrong. He knew you better than you knew yourself.

"(Y/N)?" You hummed, looking up and taking the glass of water from Hyunjin. You was at his place, prepared to do your usual routine until hyunjin realised you wasn't mental there with him, so he insisted you both stopped, saying it didn't feel right.

So here you are, sat on the sofa wearing underwear and Hyunjin's t-shirt whilst he was just in underwear. You brung the glass to your lips, the cold, refreshing water coating your tongue and throat.

"What's wrong? You've been distance since you arrived here." You placed your glass down on the coffee table, licking you top lip to collect any left over water.

"Nothing, I'm fine." You gave him a fake smile, causing Hyunjin to raise an eyebrow.

"Oh really now? Who are you trying to convince? Yourself? It's best to talk to me (Y/N) i know you better than anyone else, than yourself. Whatever it may be, i'll try and give you the best advice possible." He placed a hand on top of yours, stroking it with the pad of his thumb. Biting your lip hard, you felt a lump in your throat. you looked down at your lap, hair hiding your face as you felt tears well in your eyes as you shook your head no.

Hyunjin lifted your chin up gently, his gaze falling on your features as his face fell slightly once he realised. "Hey, hey princess. Talk to me, it'll make you feel better."

"I cant." You inaudibly whispers, tears spilling down your cheeks

"Why?"

"Because it'll change us. Change this relationship and what we have going on. It will make my feelings a reality and i dont want that." You sobbed. Hyunjin wiped your tears away gently.

"Whatever it may be, whatever is going on in that head of yours, nothing will ever change us. You're special to me, an important part of my life and whatever is happening, will never change that. You hear me??" His voice was stern and sincere. You let the flood gates open, hearing his words made your heart ache and feel sick. You started crying uncontrollably. Hyunjin cooed as he pulled you onto his lap, legs on either side of him

You buried your head into the crook of his neck, tears wetting his skin. He rubbed slow circles on your back, hushing you softly as he rocked you back and forth. Once calm, you kept your head buried before whispering against his skin.

"What was that, baby?" Biting your lip and taking a deep breath in, cursing yourself for being quiet and having to repeat yourself, you sat up straight. Looking directly in his eyes, you melted.

"I love you." Hyunjin started at you blanky, blinking a few times, processing what you said. Time moved slow, your anxiety started to rise. You felt sick, you started to panic.

"Im sorry. I shouldnt have said that. It was crossing the line. Ah, why do i have to be so dumb and open my big, stupid mouth. Well done, me. you really fucked up. Ahhhh! i should've just kept my mouth shut and continued with what we already have because I'd rather have that than nothing at all because at least you'd still be in my life. I'll go back to my partner and my boring life an-"

Your rambling was cut off with Hyunjin bursting into fits of giggles. This time, it was your turn to stare at him blankly.

"You're so cute when you ramble. That's one of the many reasons as to why I love you too."

"Huh? w-what?" Your eyes widen a little, heart beat picking up as the butterflies in your stomach travelled along your body. You felt fresh tears well in your eyes, a smile forming on your face 'You - love me too..?" You asked carefully, hoping you didnt misunderstand.

Hyunjin nodded slowly, holding your waist gently under your t-shirt, his fingers stroking your delicate skin.

"I've always loved you, ever since i laid my eyes on you. I thought i was being greated by a Goddess with the beauty that radiated from you." You laughed softly, thinking back to the time where you thought the exact same thing about him.

"why didnt you say something?"

"Scared. Scared of loosing you for good. Came to the conclusion that it was better to act how we always have been. That way, at least i still have you, even if i did have to share you."

"So, what now?"

"Thats for you to decide, princess. You still have someone waiting for you at home. Someone you've known a lot longer than me. Just know that, whatever you decide, im here whatever the outcome may be. Understood?" You nodded. You had some decision making to do.

Stay with your partner. Someone you've known for a long time, who you've made memories with. However, things have been stale for you. You havent had your heart in the relationship for a while. You was just with them because you felt guilty - you was guilt tripping yourself, fooling yourself into thinking you could force yourself to love your partner again like you use to.

Upon hearing that Hyunjin's feelings are 100% mutual with your own, you mind was already made. It's Hyunjin you want, Hyunjin you need. You thinking about him 24/7. Get a rush of excitement whenever you see him. Butterflies constantly in your stomach. He treats you like a Queen and you fall in love with him all over again. All you had to do was tell the truth

which you should have done at the beginning.

A few days later, you and Hyunjin agreed to not see each other until the truth was out. You agreed that you would explain to your partner first before they would rush over and demand an explanation from Hyunjin. You just had to get the ball rolling. You both knew it was going to be rough, this is months of betrayal thats about to be aired out. To say you was nervous, was an understatement.

You decided to do it now, today. It was better to rip the band aid off sooner rather than later. Giving yourself a pep talk in the bathroom mirror, you pulled out your phone and texted Hyunjin.

you: okay. im about to rip this band aid off and tell them everything.. 😥

Hyunjin: ok baby. Just remember that whatever happens, im here. I love you xx 💖🥰

you: i love you too 🥺👉🏼👈🏼💘 xx

you put your phone away and walked out the bathroom, calming your breathing. Heart hammering against your rib cage, you approached your partner who was currently sitting at the dining table on front of their laptop.

"Hey.. we need to talk."

A couple of hours later, you knocked on Hyunjin's door, a suitcase and bag situated beside your feet. Hyunjin opened the door, instantly pulling you into his arms. it had been an emotional couple of hours for all of you.

You finally told your now ex partner what has been going on and how you really felt. They were understandable mad, upset, confused and heartbroken. You both cried, you feeling like you didnt have the right to cry because you willingly let it continue up to this point but that didnt mean you didnt care. You hoped that once everything was settled, you and your ex could still be friends however, you didnt see it being possible after he claimed he hates Hyunjin with his entire existence and he never wanted to see you or him ever again.

'You did good, sweetheart. Im proud of you." Hyunjin cooed softly, rocking you back and forth. You smiled slightly. "I know its not over yet, that its just the beginning. but its me and you from now on and i wouldnt have it any other way. I love you so much (Y/N)"

Hyunjin squeezed you causing you to laugh. "Hyunjin, cant breathee!"

"Oh, sorry. Im just so so happy right now!"

"Yeah, me too baby. Its just us two now." Hyunjin nodded before grabbing your belongings. You followed him inside his home, his dog Kkami, greeting you as hyunjin closing the door behind you both as you kicked off your shoes and hung your coat.

"Hey, (Y/N)" You turned on your heels as Hyunjin put your belongings down before smiling from ear to ear

"Welcome home."

#stray kids #skz #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin #skz smut #skz angst #skz fluff #stray kids angst #stray kids smut #stray kids fluff #skz hyunjin #skz hwang hyunjin #stray kids fic #skz x you #skz x reader #kpop #stray kids imagines #stray kids sequel #stray kids one shot #hwang hyunjin smut

[jils-things]

happy new year! ; my farewell letter to 2023.

last year, ive written a similar farewell letter to 2022 and i want to make this a little tradition - so here's my second one <3

okay, so - wow. first of all, just wow.

this might be incredibly bold to say, but i think this has been my best year to be alive (i promise you i do not want to sound corny about it, but i really think 2023 was amazing for me.) of course, many things happened. im at my last year of senior high before i go to college, which is very scary but i hope i can be brave for it. school has been actually very generous to me recently, despite a few minor setbacks that looked very major when i was going through it, but overall it was very generous to me. but irl rambling is boring, so let's talk about my selfshipping blog!

last year, i had a verrrry firm grip on a previous f/o that im 100% sure old followers know - though im a little sad I can't find that spark to focus on him again - the shift in media has helped me find new f/os that i can say has been incredibly memorable to me. as we all know, im in a very INSANE pokemon brainrot since november or october(?) of 2022 and it has still remained heavily active in my head right now - which i honestly didn't even know i had the full capacity of doing! I don't know what magic this game did to me but i promise you im so happy i revisited this game again.

i would talk about how grateful i am to everyone has been supportive and sweet about my romantic f/os but i think the best highlight of my blog is my newfound love for my familial f/os - before that, i never had a single one on my list because i was simply quite disconnected to the family love concept, but after indulging myself in pokemon - i would come to discover pokemon adve.ntures, or poke.spe for short hehe. i have so many fond memories of finding myself wanting to read more and MORE - i would have every chapter downloaded beforehand just so that i can read it in my spare time, not even school that demanded my attention would stop me from sneaking my phone to quickly read through the manga LMAOO - but consuming the media itself wasn't enough, i needed people to understand the ROLLERCOASTER of emotions i had while reading and well, i think its very clear who those people were, the ones who came to save my miserable ass from (insert shocking scene in poke.spe) AHSJHSHSJSJS you know who you are and i appreciate you forever and they - i kid you not, helped me create something wonderful!

but of course, the video games were just as amazing. would you believe me if i told you i played gens 1 to 7 in one year? that's how much i adore the game and i still have yet to catch up to other games like the spin offs :] im not sure how to end this statement but. im so happy appleshipping and memoryshipping exists 🥹 i usually don't like thinking that they'll be with me forever because i believe nothing lasts for eternity but i just wanna say that they were just ... im just so contented 🥹 again, all of this actually would not have been so impactful to me if it weren't for my awesome mutuals hearing me out about it and supplying me with even more ideas - these mutuals would also end up becoming such loving friends of mine that helped me get out of my comfort zone and im still happy they're around (hi guys!) 💚

oh! and, what a surprise, i never thought id have an oc f/o! i initially thought that this was so impossible to do but?!??;?! it just happened i guess!!!! i keep surprising myself this year 😭

ok now here's the obligatory art summary for the year 💥

literally the best thing i ever done with my art is try using csp and it actually really helped me change the way i draw, and i even managed to cross out a few items in my last year's resolution thanks to it! i still bounce between using ibispaint and csp but i certainly improved!

the last thing im forever grateful about are the people who has been consistently supportive of my art - especially the commissions, i can't stress it enough how much it has helped me outside and it allowed me to go beyond my comfort zone when it comes to my drawing skills :']] thank you all so much

and finally, big thank you to everyone who sent me nice letters to my tree 🥹💚 its a gentle reminder that im actually ... pretty cool ig 🥹 and if you didn't send one, that's also ok!! you're still cool for reading this mwamwa

again im so bad at ending posts like these but cheers to a new year and let's hope it'll be better for everyone. 💚🫡 goodbye 2023!

#~ misc #~ rambling

[nrghfufu-brr]

after baking lessons and first times

I had this concept for a long time, like very long. Thought of rewriting it because honeii it's actually good but was executed poorly, by me. Tho this was originally a crush x reader, imma turn it to levi x reader so hehehe

 (i don’t have irl crushes anymore) 

pairing: levi ackerman x fem! reader (college au bcuz we love those) 

tag/warning(s): virginity loss, first times, lots of reassurance (AND KISSES) and shetttt, probably ooc levi, pet name, fluff, confessions (i did say this originally was a crush x reader and it played a huge part and build up to the smut so heh) might be still poorly written because im supposed to be doing school works but heh. Honestly, the reader is kinda living the privileged life so ummm, yea. 

CONTAINS NSFW!!!

word count: 4.1k

a bathtub and a lover (pt.2)

✰✰✰ 

Sugar, spice, and everything nice. 

That thought ran through your head as you laid all the ingredients on the kitchen counter. Making sure you haven’t left out anything for the baking lessons that you were holding this afternoon, enough for the big friend group that you had made during college, especially during your first year. 

Most of them were always urging (mostly Jean and Sasha) that whenever you had free time, that you'd teach them to bake the treats you would always bring on occasions, especially your renowned butter cookies. In your bustling and busy schedule, you were able to fit it to most of your friends' availability. 

By the time the clock struck two-thirty, most of your friends were here and were ready to put their aprons on and get the kitchen smell like vanilla extract. Though you were waiting for one person. 

“Is shorty joining?” Hange asked as they tied the ribbons of their apron. You looked at the digital clock on the wall just to give a small pout on your face. “He only messaged he might try stopping by…but we can start now.”

You were hopeful to see him, but it seems like it won’t be happening soon. 

✰✰✰ 

The lessons were chaotically fun. Mess was inevitable especially when dealing with two bickering guys who almost called an outrage, Sasha attempting to eat almost anything that was on the table, and Hange being Hange, would always end up in a mess no matter what but that didn’t mean they weren’t successful with their results! Most of your friends got a pat down on how you make your butter cookies, only a few were able to take a hold of how you make your egg custards. 

The hours went fast when you guys were mixing and stirring the ingredients of the sweets, the evidence of how the hours were spent were all over the kitchen counter and the air. 

A ruckus that occurred earlier by Sasha and Connie, left your kitchen floor to have stains of good batter for extra butter cookies, were gone to waste. The two best friends were very sorry, but you weren’t one to stay mad over something you can clean up easily. 

All of them offered to help with the clean up, but you just told them you guys won’t be able to clean when there were at least five people who will somehow make a mess in the process. “We’re so sorry, F/N!” Sasha cried out. 

“It’s fine, plus I have something else to bake and I prefer cleaning in one go.” Washing your hands from some of the flour that you got on yourself from the counter, “And I’m sure all of you have somewhere else to be, so I don’t want to delay you guys.” 

Handing you the small towel in the kitchen, “Are you sure?” Mikasa asked as you gave her a thankful nod. “Yes, I insist. Don’t want you guys to be caught in traffic and going home late.” 

“Always the mom, I wonder where the dad is right now?” Hange teased. You scowled at her. Though it was known in the group that you liked him. “See! You even scowl like him!” 

“Quit it and get going, Hange. It’s five-thirty already and your shift starts at six.” 

“What?! Already?!”

Everyone by that point said their goodbyes and thank you’s to you. As the door shut, you were left to your own devices for the evening. “I’ll just order take out.” 

Multi-tasking between eating your fast food (literally fast, since it arrived in less than ten minutes, but that’s the perks of having a housing compound on an industrial road) and stirring the red velvet batter that you were now placing carefully on the cupcake liners, you heard a knock coming from your door. Worried that they’ll probably see the mess, especially some of the stains the batter left on the floor, you put a cleaning towel on top of it. 

With the thought it was probably one of your neighbors, you opened it to see Levi right in front of you in all his stoicness. Composed and pristine contrasting to the mess you were with flour all over your arms. You were surprised and embarrassed of course at this moment. 

“You look messy, tch.” 

“Haha, didn’t expect less from you but you being tardy is rare. Three hours to be exact.” 

Huffing at your comment, “Had to deal with a project. A group project.” he replied. “I even told you I might try stopping by.” 

“No need to get defensive, Mr. Grumpy Pants, come on in.” 

You weren’t surprised that he immediately commented on the state of your kitchen. He was called the clean freak of the group for a reason. “If you’re messy, your kitchen is shitty.” 

“Big words coming from the guy who missed everyone else,” you bantered back, “and it was actually worse earlier.” you added with a laugh. 

“Well, it was by fate I wasn't here earlier.” he said as he sat down on the couch that was facing the kitchen. 

You just rolled your eyes as you finished up filling the liners with batter and putting it in the oven. 

This was the dynamic between you and Levi. Always bantering whenever you two were together. Everyone else would just observe whenever you two got into heated debates about whatever; like what fabric conditioner brand was best. You two would have been mistaken to be in the debate team of the school, but it’s just you two have different beliefs with fabric conditioner. 

It always stuck to him that he could get along with anything you would blabber, ever since he met you during your first year. Especially topics like cleaning products, he was glad another person was interested in that choice of conversation. 

Waiting for the cupcakes to bake, you gradually started cleaning a bit of the kitchen, but before that, you approached Levi with a plate of some of the treats you baked earlier with the others. “I know you don’t like sweets, but we just couldn’t leave you out, so…” 

“I became the official taste tester?” he finished your line of thought. 

“Probably?” 

“I’ll strangle you if one of the cookies, Hange concocted some weird shit in it.” Taking the plate from you as he stated. His fingertips slightly brushing against yours caused his breath to hitch. 

You frowned. “Why am I getting the end of it? Hange is the one responsible!”

He took the one that was already a deformed star. “You were the one in-charge earlier, so it's obvious.” he took a bite of the cookie, nodding in a satisfactory way. 

He kept on eating the treats along with a cup of tea that you prepared for him and kept guessing right on who made what. Luckily Hange didn’t have anything odd in it, saving you from Levi’s wrath. The timer for your cupcakes went off, waiting it out for a few minutes, you finally took it out of the oven to let it cool on the cooling rack. The aroma of the baked goods gave that sense of homeness to your place that Levi couldn’t help but feel contented to. 

What also added to this feeling was seeing you working in the kitchen, making the icing for the cupcakes. In his eyes, you were in your zone being cute and alluring even with the mess. No matter how much clatter was in your kitchen his eyes were only on you. 

That’s when he noticed a lot of stains were on the floor. Made his face scrunch up that he had to do something about it. 

Finishing up the dozen cupcakes you baked, your attention was on the man who went beside you to observe the state of your kitchen. “You’re one messy girl,”

“Sorry, neat freak. I was more focused on not burning the house down,” you quipped as you admired the work you did. Taking one and peeling a side of the lining then holding it in front of Levi to be met with those eyes that never failed to dazzle you. 

“Try one.” 

Only the whirring sound of your electric fan can be heard during this exchange. You felt your face heating up as you admired the features of the most gorgeous man you ever met. As he took a bite of the small treat that was in your hand, the way his mouth attached to the cake was enough for you to almost faint. How can someone look so flawless with such a simple action? The way he takes in the taste of the sweet took you in a trance. 

“It’s nice.” he spoke, breaking the hypnotized state you were in. You quickly darted your eyes somewhere other than his face. 

“Just nice?” you pouted. He just rolled his eyes. “You know I’m not a sweet-tooth person.” 

But just as he said that, he took the cupcake again and bit on it. That didn’t miss your sight causing you to give a small smile. “Sureee, suree.” 

“I don’t want to waste food, brat.” he grumbled. Not pushing it any further, you looked for tupperwares to fit the cupcakes you made. “You can now go back to your dorm. I can handle everything from here.” 

Levi already took a hold of the broom and dustpan. “I don’t trust your word, so I’m staying to clean up.” making you smile at his insistence. 

The cupcakes were now tucked inside the fridge and the cleaning of your kitchen finally commenced. You took care of the dishes while Levi…he almost took care of everything. From getting rid of the batter stain on the floor, wiping down the kitchen counter, and getting rid of the dust of flour from the floor that also covered a bit of your cabinets. You can admit that your kitchen felt brand new after the cleaning was done. 

Finishing up and putting the dishes in their respective places, your friend who was also your crush came up to you with a towel on his hand. “What is it?”

“Step closer to me.” 

You did as he told and got caught off-guard as he placed his left arm around you while his right softly wiped off the flour from your face with the towel. A few smudges of icing were on your neck, courtesy to Hange for declaring to be a menace in the kitchen, that it tempted Levi to use his tongue to clean it up. But he controlled himself. 

Instead, he turned on the kitchen faucet and got a part of the towel with water. Your heart was beating fast due to the small gap between you and him, that your senses couldn’t catch on when he turned off the water and felt the cool damp towel on your neck, which you now discovered it got you all hot and bothered. His warmth, his scent, his touch, it got your mind into a frenzy. This was the closest you have ever been with Levi. 

Placing the towel on the sink, he looked back at you with the same bored eyes yet something was different about it. “You’re going have to clean up by yourself next time, unruly brat,” 

“Don’t worry, I’m a big girl and a fast learner, grumpy.” you chuckled, getting a ‘tch’ from Levi due to the nickname. “So, how much do I need to pay you?” 

The corner of his mouth quirked up, “An unfathomable amount.” 

“Damnnn, then I should have cleaned up myself.” you whined. But you were willing of course, but with a discount. “We made cookies and I made tea, Levi.” 

“Still not convinced,” he replied. “But there is one way…” 

“Tell meee.”

He inched his face closer to yours. You felt your face heating up.

“Kiss me.” 

Were you hearing this right? Was the world moving in the right direction? 

WHAT? 

“Wha-” before you said anything, he pecked your lips. As he pulled away with your mouth slightly opened, you can see his face was dusted with a pink hue that you have never seen before. You were convinced that you were about to die from a heart attack. 

“I’ve admired you for the longest time…” the first words he spoke after that moment. “And it doesn’t even feel like a crush anymore…” 

You were absolutely out of breath. The thought of the one who you harbored feelings for reciprocating it back was something you never knew will happen. Taking all the courage within your body, you placed a hand on his shoulder and the other caressed his face.

 “I feel the same way as well.” 

He gave a smile, “Then I suppose you don’t mind this-'' as he held your face and kissed you once again. The space between you two was non-existent at this point and the temperature was rising, but that didn’t stop you two. He nipped gently on your lips, causing you to let out an airy sigh. 

His hands are already taking a hold of your hips. “Do you want to take this further?” 

The blush on your face was more prominent than ever, but everything happening and what was about to happen was something you’ve always dreamed of. “Mhm..I want you.” 

Things then escalated from there. Levi carried you to your room with outmost care and strength, laying you down on your bed admiring how beautiful you were with the light of your lamp illuminating you in an immaculate glow. In his eyes, you were a goddess. 

Immediately taking his shoes off as well as your socks, he knelt down on the floor beside your bed holding onto your knees. The sight of him between your legs was making your insides especially your pussy flutter. Your arousal was seeping through the thin fabric of your shorts and how it also turned Levi on. 

“Have you ever done this before?” he asked as he grazed his hands from your knees towards your thighs, making you shiver under his touch. You shook your head, holding back a moan as he drew circles on the plush of your thighs with his thumb. 

Continuing with his ministrations, “Have you experienced this before?” you croaked out a question. 

He also shaked his head in the same manner as you earlier. Letting out a relieved gasp as he finished, standing up from his place on the floor he crossed his arms over his stomach and took a hold of his shirt—exposing his firm and built torso to your eyes. Uncharacteristically, he dropped his shirt on the floor. No folding, no nothing. He wanted you so badly. 

You knew Levi worked out, heck you saw him once in your school gym lifting weights and that memory forever plagued your mind whenever you touch yourself. Seeing him shirtless in your dimmed light room added to the sensuality of things. You swallowed a lump in your throat as you saw him start taking off his pants, seeing how hard he was and it was because of you. 

Left in his boxers, you sat up from the lying state you were. As he climbed on the bed you took off your shirt. The dusty blue bandeau bra complemented the tone of your skin and Levi was just awestruck of how heavenly you looked. 

How much more if you were naked? 

“You’re beautiful,” Levi let out a sigh as he went closer to you, capturing your lips in a tender kiss. “I know I’m not the best with words, but I know how to be genuine with them.” 

Smiling at him, you took a hold of his right hand, squeezing it gently. “I can never ask for more.” 

Kisses being exchanged, he pulled you closer to his lap. Shifting to a more comfortable position, your knees were on each side of his thighs. His hands found a way to support your back as your arms were wrapped around his shoulders. The exchange got heated as both of you got more explorative with your tongues. 

Heart beating and breaths heaving, Levi pulled away from your intoxicating mouth that he proceeded to move downwards. Nipping at your clavicles and sucking on the crook of your neck, he left a mark. “I hope you don’t mind,” he hummed with his hands already unclipping your bra, dropping it on the floor. 

You let a sigh out. “I don’t,” feeling his hands taking a hold of your breasts you gave out a muffled cry of pleasure. Teasing your nipples with both of his thumbs and forefingers, the stickiness of your arousal was spreading through your inner thighs. This was after all the time you can finally let your sexual frustrations out. 

Levi shared the same sentiment as well. 

The small noises you were making as he sucked on one of your nipples made him harder. The cloth of his boxers burning against his skin at the same time, he can feel the heat of your cunt. He was so close to just releasing everything but he wouldn’t, not when this was the first time for you and him. Mainly you being his first concern. 

As he sucked on your right breast while his left hand took care of the left, his right hand was now on your dripping pussy. Rubbing through your shorts, it got you whining from the sensation of it. “L-Levi..” 

“Don’t keep those noises to yourself, pretty,” he praised. “I love every sound you’re making right now.” 

You gasped as he placed more pressure, already feeling yourself getting more wet. It then came to mind you haven’t tried touching Levi, and you weren’t going to let this opportunity pass. 

Just to tease him a bit, you ran your hand over his taut chest making Levi take a quick breath. Your mouth gently latched onto his neck, giving kitten licks, the ebony haired man was relishing the moment but when you finally cupped his cock, the lustful sound he made was now one of your achievements. 

“You don’t have to..” he whispered. “I want this night to be only your pleasure.” 

Pulling your mouth away from his neck. “And I want this night to be your pleasure as well-” pecking his lips-”let me make you feel good, Levi.” 

He inhaled sharply as he felt your hand start moving. You were gentle with your actions and did it make Levi let out a contented sigh as he ran his hand over your head. He’ll let you suck his cock next time that’s for sure. 

“How does it feel?” you softly asked. He did most of the work the past few minutes, so of course you wanted him to feel the same you feel. 

One particular stroke got his head leaning back. “It feels so good, kitten.” That nickname stopped you in your tracks, which Levi immediately noticed. 

“Oh, shit. I’m sorry, I-” you placed a finger over his mouth. “I want you to call me that, whenever we…do this…” you said, blushing while you were at it. The way it rolled out of his tongue and the tone of it, kept on replaying on your head. You’re looking forward to the many times he will address you with that pet name. 

He smirked at you. “Whatever you say, goes.” 

A mischievous grin appeared on your face. “Since you said that..'' you once again wrapped your arms around him and looked at him directly.

 “I want you to fuck me, Levi.” 

You can see how his eyes dilated after you said that. Not letting a second to pass, he had you laying down on the mattress, taking off both your shorts and panties in haste along with his boxers. 

His dick was always what you thought it would be, but certainly better now that you’ve seen it. Now the important question was: how long will it take for you to adjust to it?

You were about to find out. 

“Let me get the condom,” he said, before he could get his pants you stopped him with just a shake of your head. “You don’t have to, actually…” you replied, fumbling with your hands. 

You continued, “I’m on the pill actually,” you shyly admitted, “my mom forced me ever since I got into college.” 

His eyes lit up. “Guess we should thank her next time then,” he smirked. The implications of what he said made your heart get rapid. 

Bare and vulnerable to each other’s sight, Levi took his place between your legs. Letting you put your legs around and tight on his waist, it just hit you that you’re finally doing this. 

Breathing a bit unsteady, it's like Levi knew what was going through your mind. “Tell me if it hurts and if you want to stop, okay?” 

Nodding to what he said, he slowly inched himself to your core. Every time he would inch himself deeper in you, he’d ask you if it’s fine, and it just made you fall harder for him. 

Levi was whipped at this point. The way your face would contort to lewd expressions as he would try putting more of his length in you, was egging on his self-control. But he didn’t want to hurt you, that was the more important thing to him. Already bottoming you down, both of you took the time to relish the feeling. 

“Mm, Levi..” 

“Yes?” he was quick to respond to you, causing you to smile. 

“You’re very sweet, did you know that?” emitting the reaction you expected, he muttered a small ‘brat’ paired with a blush. Grabbing his hand, entwining your fingers together. 

“You made me feel nothing but comfort throughout this whole time, Levi…” you said with full of adoration. “I wouldn’t have my first time any other way but only this.”

A soft smile was on Levi’s face once you said that, his hand tightens against yours but not in a harsh way. “I intend to put your comfort above mine, every time.”

Sharing a sweet kiss that both of you intend will happen more. “You can start moving.” you sighed. Finally with your consent, he experimentally moved his hips. It did feel a bit painful, but not the sharp kind of pain. Reassuring caresses and words were shared and did it warm your heart (and your pussy as well). 

The patterned movement of his hips against yours increasingly picked up on tempo and the amount of pretty and lustful sounds that left both of your mouths could cause complaints from your fellow neighbors in the compound tomorrow morning. You weren’t going to last long but you knew; you’d probably go for another round. 

“I’m-ah!” you squeaked. Levi was working up on your clit, your climax approaching faster. “L-Levi!” 

“Keep up with those noises, kitten,” he grunted. Pulling you closer by your thighs and gripping on them tight, enough to leave marks of his hand. “You feel just so right.” 

Just after he said that, your orgasm gushed out. Legs trembling and breaths rapid. Levi pulled out quickly and came all over your stomach, decorating it messily in white. 

Both of you heaved out long sighs, but satisfaction was evident. A cheeky grin was on your face. “Now, who’s the messy one?” 

“Pfft, shut up. Let’s get cleaned up.” 

Ever the gentleman he was, he carried you bridal style to where you directioned was the bathroom. 

You couldn’t help but feel a lot more was about to happen. 

Not that you didn’t mind. 

✰✰✰ 

You can tell which part was rushed because it was making me clench hard jkfbkjer im planning to make this like a series, due to the several concepts i had for that crush x reader had all the sexy times and developments being connected. 

stay tuned ig? XDD

that is all peeps, i hope i get to be more motivated to write for the next weee. 

#snk x you #x reader #levi ackerman #levi attack on titan #not sfw #levi x reader #levi x reader smut #levi ackerman smut #aight #levi smut #aot fluff #fluff smut #idk lmao #idk what to tag anymore

[etoilebinaire]

okay here's one for your DA OCs and the canonical LIs dfkgjsg how about Taylor + Alistair, Evanna + Isabela, aaaand Rasha + Sera?

Sierra!!! Thank you for the ask ❤ It was so much fun to think about and I wrote more about my own considerations while playing rather than from their character perspective maybe but still it was a lot of fun!! It got long so I'll put it under a readmore sdjdsj

Taylor + Alistair Okay so when I first played DAO the friend who recommended it to me was obsessed with Alistair so I was like 80% sure Id romance him on her recommendation. But then Leliana barged in and I was like wow pretty girl so then I was sure Id romance her. But then Zevran happened. Listen. He swept Taylor off her feet as much as he swept me. Taylor probably would fit just as good if not better with someone else but,, how can I resist.

SO specifically Alistair: I think Taylor was subconsciously still very wary of humans. The timing wasn’t the best, with a human man ruining her entire familys life just before a human man ripped her away from said family and putting her in a position with the mostly human grey wardens. Yes Alistair is half elven and very kind and they became friends instantly and that’s why Taylor didn’t have a nervous breakdown at Ostagar, but trauma is trauma and I don’t think Taylor could help not fully opening up to Alistair at first, even if she didn’t realize it. And I also think Taylor doesn’t consider herself an option for affection? No actually, that’s not true, she does know that she’s lovable etc but it doesn’t immediately occur to her that she’s lovable in the romantic sense. She also worked hard as a teen to not be considered an option. Someone having a crush or potential interest is so foreign to her, someone would have to be very blunt about it for it to click.

Instead, she and Alistair in my canon are very very close but more in the best friend sibling-y sense.

However, while it isn’t in my canon, I do think Taylor and Alistair could have been adorable together. Their personalities complement each other pretty well and they’d be even more grossly mushy if they were together romantically. It would definitely also change my outcome of DAO; Alistair would have absolutely not become king, and Kieran would have two moms and a dad. Thank you.

Evanna + Isabela Again, truly an option I considered in DA2. Lets go over my considerations real quick. The same friend that loved Alistair a lot also loved Fenris a lot, so instead of being sure Id romance him (like I thought with Alistair), now I was sure I wasn’t going to. Idk why. I love Fenris truly. My personal fav candidate was Anders cause I love him and that’s Taylors son, you know. But he was so annoying in da2 god bles he reminded me of one of my irl friends so much and me and my irl friend have a very good gay-bi alliance going on so that’s what I did with Evanna and Anders but then in reverse. It doesn’t have to make sense it makes sense in my head, and so Evanna was officially a lesbian. Merrill is absolutely endearing and the best and I think she understands more than anyone how Evanna struggles with relating to people.

That being said, Isabela and Evanna would be amazing together, but would also wreck Kirkwall even more than it already is wrecked. They would be unstoppable. They are the true mean bi and meaner lesbian couple that is met with awe anywhere they go. However, Evanna would not push Isabela to not be afraid of being loved anymore. Evanna isn’t that socially gifted and she wouldn’t say the right things at the right time and I just don’t think that would be right for a romantic relationship with Isabela. Evanna cares about Isabela, obviously, but I don’t think she’s got enough empathy to understand what she’s going through.

Rasha + Sera Ok so for Rasha, her being a vashoth already limited some options. The same friend who really likes Alistair and Fenris obviously also likes Cullen (Im joking. But she does.) and I wouldn’t consider him an option for Rasha even if she was an option for him. I knew in advance but was really sad that Cass wasn’t an option. Rash was being friendly galpalls (read: flirting) with Josie when the chargers mission happened and then Rasha could be a bit nicer to Bull and the rest is history. For Sera.. I don’t think she and Rasha would really match? Rasha likes and even trusts Sera (which is a huge deal for her) but I don’t think she trusts her enough to let her pull her out of her shell. Like, Rasha takes things very seriously in the inquisition and goes along with the pranks etc. cause Sera is right and things shouldn’t be serious all the time, but Rasha is very good at compartmentalizing that. I also think that Sera would get too nervous about Rasha being as paranoid as she is. Although I do agree they’d be very cute together, I don’t think they’d match.

#thank you sierra!!! 🧡 #im slowly replaying dao so I Have Thoughts about Taylor sjjdss #I really need to replay da2 and dai but idk if thats going to happen soon. so maybe the answers will change a bit after another playthrough #my character tags are all SO empty. I never talk about my girls :( but memes like these are very good to start and think about them!! #so thank you again ^^ #Taylor Tabris #Evanna Hawke #Rasha Adaar

[spookfished]

media roundup dec 2024

hi everyone :3 another backlog post from december! its always interesting to look back at something that you were super into during finals. haha. during finals week i think i read a romance novel every 2-3 days?

with this, ive read through almost every single courtney milan book that my library has to offer. they are excellent romance novels if that's your thing, but i also watched some fantastic movies and played some really good games :3 once again will be crossposted up on my website at. some point in time

books:

once upon a marquess by courtney milan: m/f romance. judith, a ruined woman from a ruined family, encounters the man responsible for her familys downfall: her childhood friend. i started reading through this series bc of the most recent installment, the devil comes reading. that ones still my favorite but this one is pretty good! the relationships between the worth siblings were really good and the banter was cute :3 i think ms milans strong sideplots come through pretty clear here--the tension of judiths search for her sister was really sad! her every wish by courtney milan: f/m romance novella. daisy is trying to bluff her way into a grant to start her business, but only one person has the confidence to bullshit his way through: her ex. ok idgaf about small businesses so i didnt read this one for a while, but crash (the love interest) is sooo charming :3 the reasons that their relationship fell apart and the way those hurts were resolved felt really good i think. yay! the pursuit of… by courtney milan: m/m romance novella. hunter, a black soldier during the american revolution, is trying to get back to his family. a british deserter with nothing better to do accompanies him. yeah this was cute. not a lot to say about it :3 the charm offensive by allison cochrun: m/m romance which i picked up bc its about a romance between the bachelor (from the bachelor) and a producer on set. (its not actually the bachelor.) very cute! very fluffy! i have to say, not quite as good as uhhhh all of the courtney milan books ive read over the past couple months but still pretty solid. dev is a cute lead but i found the other lead (charlie or sth) kinda annoying for a significant portion of the book. which i think is somewhat intentional but its like ehhh. i can find awkward tech boys irl too. (SPOILERS) liked how the 'evil ex' actually got some nuance to him too mrs martins incomparable adventure by courtney milan: f/f romance novella featuring two women over 70!!!! and its conwoman x mark?? dudeee miss milan NEEDS to write more femslash im kinda begging here. this was really light and fluffy and also just really awesome. there is a lot to appreciate about romance when youre old i think. im really into it 👍 after the wedding by courtney milan: f/m romance. ok so if you read the first book in the worth saga u know a big b-plot is about trying to find judiths sister camilla. this book is about camilla! so spoilers for that. she gets forced into a mutually unwanted wedding, and while the bride and groom try to annul the wedding they ~also grow feelings~. another milan novel with a weird amount of detail on ceramic design + manufacture? well im not complaining that part was really cool actually. camillas situation is honestly just really sad so its satisfying to see her get out of it

what happened after midnight by courtney milan: f/m romance novella. a man chases after his (former) betrothed after she runs away with his fortune? yeah this was cute. loved the melodrama

unclaimed by courtney milan: dnf. f/m romance. a woman has staked her livelihood on her ability to seduce the ultimate target: the inventor of male chastity??? lmao this is one of her earlier novels published in 2011 (i think) and it kinda shows? the premise is a little bit too unserious for me and the banter/dynamic between the main pair is just not quite as good. it also felt like it dragged a bit. however!!!! i would still extremely recommend pretty much all of her more recently published stuff!! so

love on the brain by ali hazelwood: dnf. f/m romance, but its also by the reylo author. this one neuroscientist has to work on a project with a guy who she thinks hates her, but actually he is ~super in love and too shy to say it~ my mom really wanted me to read this bc she likes the author a lot and "it has women in stem". well guys i have to say i am not a fan of the reylo author. honestly out of all the women in the book the lead is literally the least interesting one? idk it was bad. uninspiring prose. also i wasnt really a big fan of the way it focused on chauvinism and discrimination in the workplace, but thats a personal thing

comics/manga:

peace of mind (2019): short furry comic about a cosmetic brain surgeon, and some of the issues she just cant fix. yeah this was cute!!! pretty classic concept but presented in a sillyfun way imo. like literally only 20 pages i thought the art style was cute go check it out if you have the time

yugami kun has no friends: slice of life school comedy about a transfer student desperate to make friends after moving around her whole life who unfortunately gets placed next to yugami, who is THE MOST AUTISTIC BOY IN THE WORLD. i think i read this whole series in like two days lmfao its just?? extremely charming??? i really like these sort of slices of life where you get to gradually expand your cast of characters over time. everyone is sort of an ass but also trying their best in the way that high schoolers kinda are. also has some very fun will-they-or-wont-they. bro i felt straightbaited. also has some really charming art with good expressions! definitely recommend :3

to strip the flesh by oto toda: manga oneshot from an anthology. chiaki, a trans man, works as an animal dissection youtuber but feels trapped in the closet to keep his father happy. idt it hit as hard for me as it might for some people but i still liked it! wow being trans! and being meat!

movies/tv:

blade (1998): marvel action movie about vampires (and the half-vampire sworn to slay them) but like, before marvel moveis were bad. watched this with friends over the thanksgiving weekend and it was so badass!!!!!!! fuck yeah!!!! honestly id forgotten that action movies can be good but they seriously can be. full of style :3 the boy and the heron: miyazaki movie about uh, grief? and isekai-ing into a cool world with freaky stuff? i heard somewhat negative reviews from my Movie Friends before watching this, which definitely colored my impression. yeah its a gorgeous movie, but also kinda messy and not super coherent imo. mr miyazaki please quit your job and spend time with your family ok. log off christmas perfection: f/m christmas hallmark romcom. protag who just wants the perfect (IRISH) christmas is transported to a world of eternal (IRISH) christmas where her parents are no longer divorced, everyone drinks hot cocoa every day, she has the perfect boyfriend, etc. will her childhood friend be able to get her out? does she even WANT to get out? so i got this rec from a post made by @.dragonomatopoeia who is apparently the hallmark romcom expert. dude. this movie is so fucking awesome. its literally christmas coraline. i love how everything is irish for no reason and also the irish. please watch this movie

video games:

zachtronics solitaire collection: ok so this is literally just a bunch of solitaire-like games. zachtronic games is infamous for making games that feel like work (spacechem, shenzhen i/o, etc). they also included solitaire minigames in several of these, which are compiled here! most of these are arent standard solitaire games, like spider or klondike. theres a solitaire based off of kabufuda, a solitaire based on mahjong (but not like that other one.) and also my favorite, tarot-based FORTUNES FOUNDATION!! which gives you a READING at the end!!! anyways i had to uninstall this game because i was spending 20 hours a week on it.

7 billion humans: parallel programming game. in a world where robots have replaced all necessary labor, whats left for mankind to do? well, make up jobs for themselves, of course! ive grown up with tomorrow corporations dry, dark, and corporate sense of humor from world of goo and that continues, of course. a fun set of problems that gets really fucking tricky, especially if you even take the teeniest peek at optimization. also has a lot of QOL improvements from the initial game such as being able to c+p code, line by line debugging, and more! i feel like youre already going to know if this game is for you or not.

in stars and time: rpg game about TIMELOOPS!!! siffrin, an adventurer, gets trapped in a timeloop on the day of the final boss. dudeeeeee ok ive been a fan of insertdisc5s writing/art for like an embarrassingly long time and it was really cool to see it in longform. some of my friends got to see me rending my hair and wailing about this game in real time even! i think isabeau + odile was my favorite non siffrin rship, but im a huge sucker for romance so the siffrin + isa stuff really got me. and in the end i got extremely suckerpunched by Loop Obsession and also every single character + convo was very delightful so who can say!!! i remember seeing some crits saying that the writing felt too 'young' or juvenile--it definitely takes a lot of inspiration from undertale, earthbound and the like, but also i think that like. the jrpg genre As A Whole demands some willingness for like. idk Earnest and Youthful Whimsy. plus i literally am a youth so it didnt bother me lol. the game definitely can feel pretty grindy at times, but its also like…. very ludonarratively accurate? or something like that?? like. you get tired of killing the same stuff + skipping the same convos As siffrin becomes inured to the loops, as they become increasingly estranged from the rest of the party. which is honestly really awesome and captures that rpg grindy feeling like nothing else really does haha. (and theres also quite a few features to ease that friction!) even if you played the demo there are some really good twists still left in there and also i teared up at the end fr. who else thought about loop (loop)

music:

i spent a lot of this month listening to the clod by no party for cao dong and scales by king isis, which ive already talked about! so im going to spotlight a couple tracks + one album ig lol?? grace by idles: this is from idles' upcoming album tangk which im super looking forward to!!!! i love when these guys do slower tracks (such as progress and mtt 420 rr from their previous album) and this is a very nice evolution from that. has a warm but slightly eerie feeling zapper by nanoray: more jungle music!!!! this is the album that introduced me to nanoray bc i knew a guy who would just blast this kind of stuff while cleaning the kitchen. favorites are nekomata '97 and salmon cannon deluxe--i tend to listen to this album in like, airports and stuff or while cleaning? its such such a wall of catgirl-themed sound that its impossible to be anxious :P iron by woodkid: ok so i found this from the playlists for in stars and time that came out before release--specifically, the one for the king? (big villain who wants to freeze the kingdom in time forever) i havent listened to this since before finishing the game and man. listening to the lyrics with additional context is kinda crazy. anyways woodkid is apparently much better known for directing a bunch of music videos such as KATY PERRYS TEENAGE DREAM? but also makes 'chamber pop' which is when, uh, pop music incorporates a lot of classical instruments? anyways i have a lot of fondness for brass (synth or not) in pop music so this was nice <3 so melancholy… so winter…learning that this was also used for an assassins creed trailer did make me like it less unfortunately.

hey whats up. writing about stuff i read a while ago isnt as interesting huh… but i also feel the need to do things in chronological order… oh well :3 the semester starts for me very soon.. how scary. anyways if you finished reading thanks as always! dont forget to stretch your hamstrings. did you know that crab rangoon is named after the city of yangon in myanmar?

#txt #i could talk about some of my favorite things from 2023..hm

[noro-noro-noro]

dreams again! 1: travelling with family. dad puts spiders in my shower 2: go left for the offering & go right to give it to god, who looks like cyno unfortunately. then get scammed 3: replacing god was a bad idea so we go break him out. then we start microwaving shit baby!  4: buildings come from the sky (we are underlevelled)

dream I was travelling with dad's wir.of the family. dad & i shared a room with my cousin M. the bathroom was kinda weird, the showers were separated by one wall and had a fonndcting door..there were green spiders. my dad accidentally released 40 green spiders into the bathroom while I was showering and I didn't really appreciate it all thwt much so I picked.up.this dead 4 inch long orb weaver and threw it at him. he caught it and put it in a bowl.to prank my uncle with later.

then I woke up bc my sister came in after getting breakfast with my dad and saw my stuffed animal was on the ground so she put it on top of me. she also brought me some jelly!! which im gonna eat!!!!!

the seofne dream was based on something I'd played beforez 2d side scroller located in the desert. you needed to go all the way to the left to find this thing, & then all the way to the right to find god & offer the thing to him & he'll give.you his powers. you needed every artifact you found to conquer the challenges at the end of the right side . I only remember one that made you jump uncontrollably on platforms that were on fire rather than give you knockback and pains. anyway me f this other guy were racing or maybe partners? but when we finally got to the top of the final plateau god was there it was cyno & he granted the powers to my friend bc he had more armor on.

3: something else about cyno. I think my friend in the armor ended up being corrupt and evil & enslaving people & making sure they.livrd their lives in misery that they believe they deserved so the rest of us hatched a plan to break cyno out of the desert ruins & restore.him. I had.a skateboard that made.me.fly. I don't remember the details super well but there were a lot of people q lot of different moving parts we summoned a pyramid from below the desert and wrnt through it.there was s girl who seemed.to have a crush on cyno - was jealous of how close I was with him.

eventually we all ended up in this area that looked like my elementary school playground, specifically the field that the track went around. nighttime. some bonfires. I went into a room where people were microwaving random stuff and then you could lay claim, kind of like.thr luggage opening things where you can buy a suitcase that got left behind at the airport. one of the microwave bags was stuff that belinged.to.me that I thought I lost so I grabbed all of it and everyone was mad about that. some of my irl friends were there too & also irl people i didn’t like that much. 

4: back outside and it was the 2d aidescrolled again. I was there with yelan and one normal person that wasn't from that stipid game. anyway several small buildings appeared from the sky and thunked down and changed the color of the surrounding ground from.sand.ro blue to green to lavender. one of the buildings had a slinky in it thst you were supposed to put things in for them to get in there. like a quest you had 2 minutes to submit something new & we caught this sand worm with two mouths and a vicious bite and were trying to force it down te slinky but it wojldnt go. I found a chunk of a sandwich I hadn't finished yet so I ate that instead. the nee buildings were all festuring things and mechsnics we didn't understand yet & if you die you die forever so we were unsure and a bit scared..... I got a drink through the slinky and I was allowed to eat it tho it was good

#dreams

[grxceblqckthxrn]

TDA characters as types of tiktokers

y’all KNOW i’m bored when i’m doing this shit lmao 

i’ll get around to doing the other TSC characters eventually TDA was just the first to come to mind also if you’re not actively on tiktok some of what i say might not make sense ahaha

also i named some tiktokers who yall can use for reference for some of them and from what i’ve seen they’re all fairly unproblematic so you should check them out!!

EMMA CARSTAIRS

okay so she’s DEFINITELY super popular and she uses her platform for good

she’s really funny and a lot of her audios go viral posts videos of her dancing saying that she cant dance but she’s actually really good at it

6M followers and growing fast 

 hypes up her boyfriend’s account ALL the time

calls out misogynistic/racist tiktokers through duets and KEEPS THEIR TAG IN THE CAPTION  

 she is not afraid of starting drama lmao

occasionally hops on POV and transition trends but its usually satire 

emma can’t act for shit lmao 

super active on tiktok and has a spam account

people are always asking her to drop the skin care routine but she doesn’t have one?? 

*pushes Zara down* “and no one’s gonna help her?? WOW some world we live in”

JULIAN BLACKTHORN

there’s no way he doesnt  have an art account lmao

a lot of his paintings go viral but 90% of his comments are 14 year old girls thirsting over him

yall know that pottery guy on tiktok?? the cute one?? (i searched up his account just for this post he’s @/daxnewman769) that’s the best way to describe him

literally all the famous tiktokers commission him

probably has like 4M followers lmao

will occasionally make about how respecting women doesn’t make you a “simp”

doesn’t get into tiktok drama tho

posts candid videos of emma and all his jealous 14 year old fans get so pressed but he shuts down anyone who says anything bad about her

sometimes does painting or drawing tutorials and he’s really good at teaching stuff lmao

CRISTINA ROSALES

omg okay so like yall know those really pretty girls on tiktok who are literal models and are always dropping tips on how to frame your face for pictures and best clothes and poses and whatever  ( @/ameliezilber is the first person that came to mind as an example)

thats her

alot of her content is just for the aesthetic

BLING EFFECT

GRWM’s all the time

10 step skin care routine 

GOOD VIBES

has a pretty decent following?? like at least 2 million

has a spam but it’s exactly the same as her main lol

also calls out problematic tiktokers but not by name

her entire account is full of body positivity and does a bunch of stuff on loving yourself

sometimes does POVs and all the comments are like “@ netflix hire her rn”

sometimes posts crack videos with emma and cute vids with mark and kieran

MARK BLACKTHORN

does a lot of reaction videos and duets

a lot of his videos go viral but he doesn’t have a huge following like maybe 800k

 everyone still knows him

gets at least twenty “are you wearing only one contact” comment about his eyes every post

he’s really funny without even realizing it 

sometimes goes inactive for weeks at a time and just forgets that tiktok exists lmao

shows off kieran and cristina ALL THE MF TIME AND EVERYONE IS SO JEALOUS LIKE HOW ARE ALL OF THEM HOT

KIERAN 

doesnt have a tiktok lmao sorry

but shows up so much on mark’s and cristina’s that a lot of people know who he is

DIANA WRAYBURN

unironically does POVs but is actually good at them??

lots of videos talking about the struggles of minorities like LGBTQ+ and POC and women

posts a lot of those vidoes that are like “what to do if you ever get kidnapped” “red flags in relationships” “most powerful parts of the body” etc

probably has like 500k followers 

at the end of the day she doesn’t really use tiktok that much tho ahaha

LIVVY BLACKTHORN:

does a little bit of everything??

posts dance videos sometimes 

omg her transitions are SO good

everyone is in love with her and she has to remind them that she’s a minor (i’m just a kid plays aggressively in the background)

posts videos that are just vibes?? like her skating at night, dancing in traffic with dru/her friends, walking through the city at night etc

lots of lip syncing videos to whatever sounds are popular and all her comments are like “i wish i looked like this” “guess im not eating today” and she gets so upset :((

she wants everyone to know that they’re perfect the way they are!!

also posts POVs sometimes and she’s not that bad at them ahaha 

probably has like 1 million followers 

doesn’t even need a spam just posts everything on her main 

shouts out her sibilings accounts all the time

overall just great energy

TY BLACKTHORN

never posts his face on his main but he does on his spam

yall know those accounts that post fun facts or psychology facts?? his is like that except he talks to explain them and everyone finds his voice SO calming 

he posts a lot of content of animals and everyone is in AWE with how good he is with them

his username is probably theanimalwhisperer or something djkfskjd

every single time he posts Kit on his account all the comments are like “OOH ICU” and “SHIP” and “ASK HIM OUT ALREADY”

he gives 0 shits about popularity on tiktok he’s just posting for fun because he likes teaching people about his interests

so he has like maybe 500k followers

lots of philosophical questions that has everyone questioning their existence

ugh i love him

KIT HERONDALE

be honest this is what y’all were waiting for 

yall know those unproblematic ppl that everyone refers to as the “king(s) of tiktok”???

yeah thats him

SO FUNNY

LIKE HIS CONTENT IS GENUINELY HILARIOUS

lots of sarcasm and satire

think @/adamkindacool  ?? (one of my favourite tiktokers lmao)

does reaction videos for those “pov: im the annoying hot cheeto girl sitting next to you in math class” videos

dark humor (not like rude humor but actual dark humor)

like “i put the baby in the oven and the pizza in the bed” type of jokes back when those were a thing

has like 4M followers but almost every single one of his posts go viral so he’s gaining fast

lots of pranks

starts a bunch of trends

any video he posts of Mina goes viral

sometimes he posts some really weird stuff that has everyone laughing so hard irl (@/benoftheweek)

he NEVER thirst traps but still gets a lot of those weird sexual fairy comments on his posts (iykyk)

TO BE CLEAR I MEAN THE FAIRY EMOJI ONES NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM BEING FAE 

reacts to the comments with a video of him just staring at the screen with the “oh to see without my eyes” or “im just sixteen” audio going on in the background which only encourages them to make more weird comments

anyways everyone loves him

any of his povs are pure jokes meant to make fun of pov’ers

posts maybe one serious tiktok every 5 months that talks about being respectful and using your platform for good

“i miss old tiktok”

posts a lot of random videos of Ty where, again, all the comments are shipping them except even more so on his account because everyone can see his heart eyes for Ty

collabs with Dru a lot and does a bunch of duets of her videos

everyone loves him bye

DRU BLACKTHORN

SO many memes

she deletes any hate in her comments bc she honestly doesnt care to respond to them and doesn’t need that kind of negativity in her life

but one time she got a “the f in women stands for funny” comment and she WENT OFF

does really dark povs sometimes that are really interesting

CLOWN MAKEUP + SCARY CLOWN TIKTOKS ( think @/avani ‘s clown make up posts

REALLY good at makeup and sometimes gets julian to do scary makeup on her for tiktoks and povs (like those ones with stitches over the mouth or skin peeling off)

huge ally!! posts a lot about minorities struggles and white privilege, and acknowledges hers

does movie reviews and stuff sometimes

“types of” videos

pulls a lot of pranks on her sibilings with livvy and sometimes with Kit

lots of body positivity + self love

calls out back-handed compliments

also has a lot of content like Livvy’s of just vibing in LA

julian and emma and mark go off at anyone who sexualize her in the comments

probably has like 650k followers

posts a couple of times a week

BONUS: 

JAIME ROSALES

lots of skateboarding videos idk he just gives me that vibe

doesn’t post that often but is super popular

like maybe 1.5M followers

really passionate about systematic racism

HATES all those privileged white boys using the “this is america” audio to pretend they’re oppressed ( this is a may 2020 thing so it probably wont make sense to anyone who sees this after lmao)

POSTS A LOT OF THIRST TRAPS LMAO 

also posts lots of videos that’s just him yelling about stuff but they’re really entertaining to watch ( like that guy sebastian @/sauceyogranny)

everyone thinks he’s super hot he always shows up in those “hottest boys on tiktok” videos except sometimes he’s just the token POC boy and it makes him mad :( 

DIEGO ROSALES

HIS ACCOUNT IS SO PRACTICAL LMAO

lots of tips 

“what to do if you’re trapped in the desert” “what to do if you’re kidnapped and stuck in the trunk”

doesnt reply to comments EVER unless it’s to clarify a point he made in the video or answer a question

has like 200k

okay thats it lmao im done bye this took me like an hour to make

i’ll get to all the other characters from the other series’ eventually 

also if yall are wondering abt the lack of f*ckbois in this post they’re coming dw

TMI CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS

TID CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS 

TLH CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS

#tda #the dark artifices #tlh #tmi #tid #shadowhunters #tsc #the shadowhunter chronicles #twp #emma carstairs #julian blackthorn #mark blackthorn #cristina rosales #kieran #kieran kingson #diana wrayburn #Livvy Blackthorn #livia blackthorn #Ty Blackthorn #kit herondale #kitxty #kit rook #jaime rosales #diego rosales #dru blackthorn #Drusilla Blackthorn #tiberius blackthorn #qoaad #queen of air and darkness #lord of shadows

[illfoandillfie]

DMs

Pairing: Ben Hardy x F!Reader

Summery: You run a nsfw snapchat account. Ben's horny.

Warnings: SMUT (18+), partially written as chat text, video chat sex, masturbation, fingering, sex toys, nipple play, voyeurism I guess, fuckboy ben

Words: 3774

A/N: Inspired by something El posted. I love Ben but he’s got them fuckboy/lad vibes and im positive he’d get down on some sc porn

Taglist:  @laedymoon​  @dtfrogertaylor​   @ezmina98​  @vee-ndetta​ @atomic-watermelon​ @kellypenac​ @labessieisallama​ @deakyclicks​ @jennyggggrrr​ @drowseoftaylor​  @hannafuckingsucks​  @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming​ @queenmylovely​

@veriloquently​

Your phone buzzed, the familiar noise distracting you from your book. Considering you’d just posted a new photo, partially hidden by emojis, to Instagram and updated your snapchat story with the uncensored version, it was hardly surprising you were getting messages.

YourNewDaddy: Mmm baby let me pound you

You clicked through to his profile. Absolutely nothing. The profile picture was some abs that could belong to anyone. No recent snaps, nothing. For a few seconds you considered replying with your payment details but decided against it. He wasn’t worth your time.  

The whole NSFW account thing had started a while ago on Tumblr and then Instagram. A way to kill time and get some attention that you weren’t receiving in the real world. But then the porn ban had happened which severely limited what you could post, so you’d mostly moved to Snapchat, using everything else to advertise. A few months after the move you started getting guys offering to pay you to do specific things. One had wanted an audio recording of you calling him Daddy and begging for his cock with a few moans thrown in. Another had wanted a video of you and a dildo, though he’d had to pay more. Since then you’d used your accounts to pick up a bit of extra cash here and there. Nowhere near enough to live off of, but it came in handy.

You clicked back out of the app, put down your phone and went back to your book, hoping someone entertaining would at least comment on the photo soon. Barely half a page later another ding pulled you away. This time Instagram.  

Benhardy: Just came over you

Quick and to the point. Fuckboy energy. You clicked onto his profile half expecting another faceless timewaster. No description or links to other sites but he had a profile picture. And some fifty odd photos. Not many posts considering his million followers but at least you knew he was a real person. You scrolled through his feed trying to put gather what info you could before you responded. Lots of photos of himself sometimes with friends. A few that were clearly modelling jobs or, more likely considering the movie trailers and saved story called Oscars 2019, promotional photoshoots for magazines. And he was a proud dog dad. Definitely attractive. You wondered briefly why someone so handsome was getting off to half dressed girls on Instagram but put it out of your mind as you opened his conversation up again. Who cared why as long as he was talking to you? After all, he was hot and willingly giving you attention. Plus, if he was an actor or whatever he probably wouldn’t mind paying for something special, once you’d given him a taste. The only question left was how to approach the conversation.  

You: Really? That’s so flattering!

You: Kind of wish you’d cum over me for real tho, bit bored

Benhardy: dirty girl

Benhardy: could probably think of some way to keep you busy

Benhardy: you’re fit

You: haha aww thank you! I post more often on snap if you wanna follow. don’t have to hide behind swimwear and emojis there. easier to chat too, unless you prefer kik or something

He didn’t reply. You frowned at your phone wondering if you’d shown your hand too soon. Perhaps you should have kept up the flattered damsel act a little longer, waited before mentioning Snapchat. Maybe he wasn’t looking for a chat, just genuinely wanted to compliment you, even if it was in a gross slightly derogatory way. Or maybe he just got cold feet. You sighed as you swiped back to check what other people had been sending you. A few more ignorable accounts, a couple messages you didn’t like enough to respond to straight away. And then another Snapchat notification.  

Ben Jones: had to create an account but I’m here

You: oh! you’ve changed your name

Ben Jones: Hardy’s the stage name lol

You: hmmm hardy… little bit of a pornstar name

You: or could be if you changed the ben part.

Ben Jones: that’s my backup plan in case actual acting doesn’t work out lol

Ben Jones: not too out of place right now tho

You: haha that because of me?

Ben Jones: maybe. loved the photos in your story you’ve got great tits

Ben Jones: kinda wanna see you pinch and pull on them

And so it began. You leaned forward to pull your shirt off and then settled back against the pillows, running your fingers around your nipple until it was hard. Angling the camera towards your chest you pinched your nipple between your thumb and forefinger, rolling it between them. The camera clicked as you took a photo and then clicked again as you tugged your nipple away from your body, hissing a little at the pain.

You: Like this?

Ben Jones: perfect

Ben Jones: really are lovely tits.

You: surprisingly don’t hear that much irl so ty

Ben Jones: u don’t? criminal

You: lmao yeah but that’s what I have you for

Ben Jones: happy to help

Ben Jones: What are you wearing?

You: Just a pair of knickers now

Ben Jones: sexy

Ben Jones: can I see?

You: just the knickers or the whole look?

Ben Jones: whole look first

Ben Jones: then just the knickers so I can see the wet spot you’re making

You wriggled against the pillows, shuffling further down the bed. Long ago you’d learnt which angles were the easiest to take photos in and which were the best to show off your body. A full body shot was easiest when you leaned your phone up against a stack of books or something at the foot of the bed and used the timer on the camera to get a few shots of you kneeling. It left your hands fee to squeeze your tits if that seemed appropriate or slip into your underwear, or to put behind your back in a pose that seemed innocent but actually pushed your hips and chest forward. For Ben though you felt something that appeared a little more casual would be appropriate. You lay back, head raised slightly on your pillows, feel flat against the mattress so your knees were in the air and pressed together. Carefully you positioned the camera, wrist twisted a little to get the angle just right. You brought your free hand up to your breasts, pulling your nipple again since Ben seemed to like it, and snapped a photo. The shot of your underwear was easier, legs spread, pushing your hips up slightly to get a clear shot of the wet patch that had been slowly growing since the start of the conversation, though a little added saliva to make it more obvious didn’t hurt. He wouldn’t be able to tell.  

Ben Jones: hot

Ben Jones: like got me so hard again hot

You: does that mean I get a picture in return?

Ben Jones: Only if you take your knickers off for me

Ben Jones: wouldn’t be fair otherwise since im not wearing underwear😉  

You took your time sending him a new photo and got one back almost straight away. You would have scoffed at his eagerness to show himself off but, with a body like his you couldn’t really blame him. You zoomed into the photo, trailing your eyes over every inch of it. Messy blonde hair, though whether it was intentionally messy or just like that from him grabbing it while he jerked off over your photo you weren’t sure. Gorgeous eyes, heavy lidded and a little fucked out. One arm behind his head as he lay on his bed. It looked carefree and spontaneous, like someone else had taken the photo at the very moment he looked at the camera, but it showed off the muscles in his arms too well to be coincidence. And speaking of muscles. The boy was a fucking Adonis. You were instantly struck by the desire to drag your nails down his chest and leave a trail of hickeys and bite marks all the way down to his toned stomach and tight waist. You clenched your thighs together at the thought as you slowly revealed the bottom half of the photo. He had his legs outstretched though one was more bent than the other, knee jutting out to the side. Almost too casual to be casual, especially with the way he had his hand wrapped around his cock, like the photo was taken mid stroke. You couldn’t help linger over that particular part of the photo. It was a lovely hand, big with noticeable veins, exactly the sort that could make you weak in the knees. And the same could be said for the dick it was holding. You wondered briefly where this Ben guy had come from and what you could possibly have done to catch his attention.  

Ben Jones: is that silence because you’re so impressed

The message made you roll your eyes. Hot he might be, but he was still just another desperate fuckboy looking for a naked girl to drool over and a quick orgasm.  

You: well I’m not not impressed

Ben Jones: no need to be shy. just say you’re imagining riding me and I'd understand

You: wasn’t before. Am now.

Ben Jones: what were you picturing before?

You: doggy

Ben Jones: be happy to let you try both and compare.

You: let me film it and watch the tapes back to study your game?

Ben Jones: wait this is dumb.

Your frowned at your phone. For such typical guy, the sort you’d dealt with so many times before, Ben sure was hard to pin down.  

You: what?

Ben Jones: you comfortable doing live chat?

Ohhhh

You: umm sure thing

Ben Jones: you don’t have to

You: i know that. you couldn’t force me to even if you wanted, beauty of doing this online. i just don’t do live very often. or I charge for it.

Ben Jones: that desperate for me?

You: you caught me in a good mood

You let the call ring for a bit, wanting to make sure Ben understood how in control you were and how much more he needed it than you. But eventually you picked up, settling back against your pillows. Ben seemed to be in a similar position, leaning against his headboard, the screen showing you his face and bare shoulders. “Hi,” “Hi,” his voice was deeper than you’d expected, thrown by how soft and, dare you say, feminine his features were, and yet it suited him perfectly. You could only imagine how that voice would sound growling out sexually charged complements, the thought appealing enough to have you pressing your thighs together. There was a moment of silence as you took each other in, not quite sure how to continue now that you’d switched from text.   “So you going to show me how wet you are?” Once again his demeanour had you wanting to roll your eyes though you refrained, “No.” “No?” His confusion was entertaining to say the least. So many of the men who contacted you assumed you were going to be outright submissive and meek, taking whatever photos they demanded and doing everything they told you to with a smile and a yes sir. So proving them wrong, defying them, taking control, that was fun. Almost an aphrodisiac in its own right. Sometimes you’d eventually submit, play the brat and then let them win, and if they were paying it was a different story. But Ben struck you as the kind of guy who could use a little more pushback. Probably used to getting his way, having his pick of the litter. Lord knows had he hit on you in real life you probably would have agreed to whatever he wanted just to feel his hands on you. But here, on your profile, you had the power. Plus, in the back of your mind you suspected that being a little more assertive might just make him more interested in seeing you submit and maybe a little more willing to pay for the pleasure.   “Not yet.” “Bit of a bold move considering I could just go find someone else to look at. There’re these things called porn sites, yeah?” “But they’re so impersonal. Isn’t this more fun?” He paused, eyeing you, and then let out a breath, “You got me there.” “Figured, since the video chat was your idea and all.” “Just got sick of typing one handed.” “Mmhmm, sure.” “So are you going to show me your cunt then?” “Eventually. But what’s the rush?” you stood up, making sure to let the camera dip just a little so Ben got a quick flash of your chest. “How about I’m hard as hell and want to get off?” “You’re not the only one who wants to get off so just hold your horses for a second while I get my toys.” “There are toys now?” You could see Ben’s shoulder move as he started to stroke himself again. “Told you to hold your horses. Stop touching yourself.” Ben’s arm stopped its movement though he seemed a little taken aback by his own obedience. “Good boy,” you watched for Ben’s reaction, not disappointed as he swallowed hard, his cheeks going pinker than they already were. That was interesting. “Yes there are toys, you wanna see?” “Do I get to pick which ones you use?” “Maybe,” “Go on, show me then,” You flipped the camera around as you opened your chest of draws. There wasn’t much in there, a couple different dildos and vibrators, a set of nipple suckers, mostly things you’d bought to fulfil requests guys were paying you for. You picked up the nipple suckers and held them up to the camera. “I assume you’d like to see me in these since you liked watching me play with my nipples.” “Mmhmm, absolutely. Also want to see you with a dildo. You got one with a suction base? Might tell you to ride it the way you’d ride me,” he seemed to be doubling down on the pull for control after you’d seen his reaction to being told what to do, determined to put you in your place or whatever. “Unfortunately, no. But this one will do,” you took hold of a silicon dildo, pulling it from the draw, “Don’t think it's as big as you but it does vibrate and that’s guaranteed to work.” “I’ll allow it, though I think we both know I’d be better.” “I’m going to ignore that,” you said as you turned the camera back towards you and headed back to your bed, settling against the pillows again. You propped the camera up against a pillow so Ben could watch as you placed the suckers over your nipples, whimpering at the sudden taught feeling. You picked the phone back up, giving Ben a closer view of your boobs. “They suit you. And you can ignore it all you like but when you start doing what I say and I let you fuck yourself into your third orgasm I’ll remind you. Maybe, if you’re lucky, I’ll tell you where you can meet me in real life and show you exactly how good I am.” “You’re a cocky one, aren’t you?”   “In every sense. If I remember correctly you were speechless at the sight.” “You’ve got a bad memory, Benny boy.” Slowly you let your fingers trail down to your pussy. You didn’t believe he was as good as he thought he was – you’d dealt with too many overconfident wankers, both in real life and online, to believe another one – but the game you’d fallen into, the back and forth teasing, not entirely sure who was in control at any one time, was arousing to say the least. It was certainly one of the less predictable conversations you’d had recently.   “If not speechless then certainly wet. Show me your pussy, wanna see you touching yourself.”” “Who said I’m touching myself?” you slipped a finger into your entrance, trying to keep your breathing even.” “You’re not as good at hiding it as you think you are. So show me.” “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours,” Ben gave you a fleeting look, eyebrow raised, before his camera flipped and you were once again looking at his hand wrapped around his cock, red and leaking precum. You turned your camera too, making sure he had a good view. “Add a second finger for me.” You did as he asked, “You been a good boy and not touched? Or do I have to tell you off for misbehaving?” “I didn’t but it wasn’t because of anything you said. Just didn’t want things to finish before I heard you beg me to cum.” He began to stroke himself, keeping in time with the slow pace you’d set as you pumped your fingers in and out of your pussy. “Sure,” you panted, adding a third finger, “so if I told you to stop now,” His hand halted. “Well aren’t you just so obedient,” You removed your fingers from yourself, reaching to grab the dildo, “you wanna see me fuck myself properly? Watch me cum all over this toy, pretend it’s your cock making me moan?”   “God yes,” his voice cracked a little, fingers twitching against himself as he briefly let the cocky, controlling persona fall away. It didn’t last long, “Show me how deep you can take that cock. C’mon, I know what a fucking slut you are, getting off on people watching you.” You didn’t bother arguing, sliding the dildo along your dripping folds before pressing it into yourself with a whine. “Wait, hang on a sec.” The was the sound of shuffling and the screen went black as Ben moved around but, eventually, he flipped the camera again and settled back on the bed. He’d propped his phone up somewhere in front of himself, letting you see every inch of him from his face to his hard, leaking cock, “better?” “Oh much, hang on I’ll do the same," you carefully pulled the dildo from yourself and sat up, leaning your phone against a stack of books on your bedside table and then adjusting your pillows in front of it, “we good?” “Yeah, take the nipple things off though, wanna see your tits properly.” You did as he asked, letting out a soft moan at the sensation. Ben chuckled, “God I can’t wait to hear how loud you moan imaging how hard I’d fuck you.” You slid the dildo back into your entrance, slowly pumping it in and out of yourself as you brought your other hand up to squeeze your breast, “mmm, you look so pretty when you’re all needy Benny.” It wasn’t a lie, between his lust blown eyes, flushed cheeks and soft pout, Ben looked incredible and it only turned you on more, “Want to show me how needy you can get? Want me make you beg?” “Faster. Harder,” he ignored your questions in favour of giving you another order but you were sure you’d heard his voice crack just a little. You sped up, whining with each thrust, Ben’s hand matching your pace as his slid his thumb over the tip and spread the precum over his length. “Fuck your wet, I can hear it. That all because of me?” “Maybe a-a bit. Also just like, fuck, being watched,” “Turn on the vibrator and rub your clit,” Ben’s voice was husky, impossibly deep and rough, “don’t stop until I say.” You moaned as the vibrations started, angling the dildo to rub against your g-spot on every pass.   “There you go, being a good little slut. Gonna cum how I tell you to.” “On-only if you cum how I tell you to.” You almost let the dildo fall from your grasp, so shocked were you by the whine Ben let out, “Like that idea? Want me to tell you what to do? If I told you to stop and watch me would you?” “No,” he said, steadfastly sticking to the game although his hand faltered and his voice had mostly lost the controlling edge he’d had before, all desperate, whiny need. “N-not sure I beli-eve you.” “Please don’t stop. Wanna cum so bad,” “I know y-ou do Benny.” “You close?” “Yes, fuck Ben, so close.” “Cum for me, come on, be a good slut and cum,” “Not. Yet. Play with your balls Benny, wanna see you cum first.” His gasped turned into a strangled cry as he ran his fingers over his testicles before lightly squeezing them “T-turn the vibrator higher,” Neither one of you were in control anymore, too caught up in getting yourselves and each other off, though you were both determinedly looking at the screen, watching each other. Ben’s lip was caught between his teeth, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he let out some of the prettiest moans you’d ever heard. It only served to push you closer to the edge, your own moans escaping as you bucked your hips rhythmically in time with the dildo moving in and out of your cunt. Ben finished a split second before you did, your eyes glued to the white now painting his stomach as you held the dildo in place, its vibrations making your toes curl.

The was a moment of quiet as you both collected yourselves, the only sounds his panted breaths and your soft whine as you removed the dildo from yourself, and then Ben spoke.   “Fuck that was hot.” “Yup,” “I thought your tits were good enough to wank over but Christ. That’s gonna keep me going for a bit.” You laughed, relaxing as your heart gradually fell back to its normal rhythm, “Well not too long I hope. You’re fun and I’d be happy to chat again sometime.” “Did I see in your bio that you take commissions?” “Yuuup,” “Huh, well, I’ll keep that in mind then.” “I look forward to it,” “Well, I should be off then, gotta clean up,” he gestured to the mess drying on his stomach. “Yeah, me too, maybe have a nap. That really was fun though so next time you’re bored or whatever hit me up. If you’re lucky I’ll let you boss me around. If you’re luckier I’ll do the bossing,” “I’d like to see you try,” “That whine you made says you’d enjoy it quite a lot,” “My whine? What about yours? Needy little brat.” Guess you’ll have to come back and settle this then.” “Guess I will. See you later.”

#my writing #ben hardy smut #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy imagine #hope ya'll like this #hope i made him enough of a fuckboy #and that it makes sense and everything #i wrote the first half real quick like last month #and then took a break from it to write curtains 5 #and then found it kinda hard to get back into it #but i think im happy with it #anyway #gonna be more benny content coming soon #im so very deep in my feels because of all this 6u content

[otometearoom]

I Finished Tsumugu Logic!! Overview/Rant

It took me a month, but I finished the last chapter of the game and got the true ending. I will keep playing to get all of the other bad ends, etc. 

I have so so many feels about this game, y’all. I will be highlighting a few chapters in the game, so if you haven’t finished it. Beware of spoilers!!

[MANY SPOILERS/ENDINGS BELOW]

To recount my feelings throughout the game for each character: 

1. Tsumugu is a cutie pie. I actually really related to him, because I’m also at that point in my life where I have to decide what exactly I want to do for the rest of my life. I just finished university, but I’m still unsure about my career ahahah. So, seeing Tsumugu struggle to figure his life out was refreshing. 

2. “Sosei” is so hot. I laid eyes on him and thought, uh-oh, he’s my new addiction ahahah. I would buy his merchandise if there was any. The dude loves sweets (how cute is that) and he has such a good head for mysteries (my dream man). Plus, he’s a tsundere but really cares about Tsumugu, often giving hints and advice to him. He’s a very trustworthy older brother/senpai. I could gush over how much I love Sosei for ages. His drunken habits -> those are to die for. He becomes so lewd and straightforward. I love it. 

“Koyo”, on the other hand, I didn’t like him as much as Sosei. Which is weird, cause I love ikemen. Maybe I’m just drawn more into the withdrawn, mysterious guys?? I do like the concept of twin brothers though. I have a bit of a dirty mind so when the twins said they shared everything, even their gf, I was like ohohoho, 3p? 

I absolutely enjoyed the twins together though. I love seeing them pretend to be the other. I wish they had more of an appearance lol. I could even say that Sosei and Koyo are a scale higher than Tsumugu for me. I wish the twins were the main protagonists ahahah. No offense Tsumugu. 

I’ll just summarize my first impressions for others real quick: 

3. Kotoko - I thought she was cute, but I never really liked her and couldn’t quite pinpoint exactly why. This feeling will come into play later on. So at first, I was like meh, she’s okay, I guess. But, as I learned more about her, I really didn’t like her character that much. I mean, I wouldn’t say I hated her but I didn’t find her as a good fit for Tsumugu. 

- When she told Tsumugu to be a salesman or whatever. I was like, do you even know Tsumugu? Lmao. I didn’t know if it was just me empathizing with Tsumugu cuz I’ve often been told of what I should be, but no one asks what I want to be. 

- When she didn’t want to help Mirei, I thought how odd, for someone who tries to befriend everyone, she’s not doing so well as a heroine. I mean, it was realistic, at least. But, I think the chapter where she admits that she tries really hard to fit in so others will like her was starting to draw some red flags for me. It made me wonder how much of her was ‘real’. Idk if I’m making any sense though.

- When she swung the knife at Tsumugu, I didn’t hate her as much as I did when she swung the knife at Sosei (who protected Tsumugu) and killed him. I was furious then. 

4. Sally - I admit I was really turned off by the girly lolita style. Mainly because I’m more tomboyish irl. But, she had a good sense of justice so I actually liked her. It did come as a shock to me though that she was the “gorilla” girl that was forced to kiss Nozaki. Tbh, I was kinda sad she died at the end. Like, I know she killed Hikone, but I could understand her motive better than I could understand Kotoko’s motive. Maybe cuz I have an older brother and can’t see myself being a brocon? ahahah. 

5. Toma - In terms of hotness, he comes 2nd right after Sosei. He’s a really good friend. And I absolutely adore how he scares ppl with his glare lol. i love yankees ahaha. He’s not afraid to speak his mind. He’s a very solid character.

6. Daimon - My girl crush. High key curious who she’s arranged to marry because her fiance seems boring. Who takes an hour to choose a handkerchief? Anyways, Im sad that Daimon and Sosei never got to meet because I’m low key shipping them. Idk if they’d click well romantically because they’re so similar, but I would’ve loved for some sort of interaction. They’d make for an epic couple, solving mysteries. I really wanna write a fic for them. 

7. Tsukasa Tsukasa - I didn’t like him because of the cheating and blaming on my poor Toma, but after that, he was okay. Plus, he helped write the Tsumugu’s love letter to Kotoko. Which I find is funny, because Kotoko copied Tsukasa’s writing, thinking it was Tsumugu’s. Ahahah. The lesson here, folks, is that don’t use your own handwriting in love letters, you never know if you’re crush will copy said handwriting into your own suicide letter. 

8. Mirei - that girl can sing. I kinda cried after hearing it cuz I was going through something at the time and it really encouraged me. 

9. Landlady & Hikkimori - Both names that I can’t remember off the top of my head. I think both people are fun. The landlady is super supportive. And the hikkimori refusing to talk with Sosei made for a fun dynamic. I genuinely enjoyed seeing Sosei offended. Nice way to see emotions on my fave character. 

10. Other characters (Rindo, Happy, Travel Club Members) - I genuinely did not care enough about ahahah. I think I even enjoyed seeing some of them murdered, tbh. They were really horrible people in different ways. 

The Black club members headed under Fumi. Like what? How do you control victims to be assailants and live with yourself to be a future kindergarten teacher? Like what? I couldn’t live with myself if I was her. Plus, her disproportionately large boobs were really weirding me out. I can’t believe Yu died all because Fumi wanted to f*ck him. It’s like one day you’re living your best life and someone thinks, ah, I wanna ruin this person. 

Don’t even get me started with Nozaki. That dude is a piece of trash. Human garbage. He knows how it feels to be a victim and yet thinks it’s his right to assault women. I wanted to slap that guy so hard. So many times. He was like the boy who cried wolf. He kept pretending to be dead and eventually died in the hands of Kotoko. XD I wonder what his last thoughts were. To have died in the hands of someone he trusted. 

Hikone was another nutcase. From what I understood, he just saw everyone else as characters in his book. Sure, he didn’t physically harm anyone, but doing nothing and observing is just as much of a crime as committing it. 

Shun. I never really like cutesy guys. But when he turned out to be an ex-pimp plus lover of Fumi, he fell off the likeable scale. 

Yoshimoto being an uncontrollable drunk murderer was the only thing needed to complete the psycho Travel Club members. Tbh, I thought he was the one behind the killings at first ahaha. 

Suguha. I thought she was a tough chick. It was cool to know that she had another motive to get closer to Fumi. Because I thought it was weird how she took her cellphone at the BBQ restaurant. It’s nice to know that SEEC still foreshadows like that. 

#tsumugu logic #seec #spoilers

[bemey]

[found this in my drafts] Skwisgaar, Toki, and Murderface in Tamriel

combining my hyperfixations let's gooooooooooooooooo

Skwisgaar Skwigelf

it's very obvious that as a Swede, his race in a fantasy universe would be that fantasy universe's version of our world's ye olde Scandinavians (aka, he'd be a Nord, duh) BUT i like to think if you gave him a pair of fake elf ears matching his skintone, he'd pass as just a really pale Altmer

he's beautiful, tall, slender, arrogant and talented, im sure he'd fit right in with either group, maybe even less so with Nords since Nord society values brute strength and high tolerance for alcohol, of which Skwisgaar has neither (I know he beat up that one guy with his guitar once BUT!!! he's absolutely the least violent fifth of Dethklok)

as a non-metal-musician in Tamriel im sure he'd have mastered a magic school instead of electric guitar, but i can't really figure out *which* school, *maybe* enchanting, *maybe* mysticism, but if i had to pick i'd settle on one of the schools governed by Willpower (alteration, destruction and restoration) because, let's be real, he's more dedicated (to his life passion) than he is intelligent >_>;;

the thing is, i'd make an argument that epic guitar solos heal people (not physically), so that'd be restoration, BUT if he was in a party of sorts I can't really imagine him as just a healer on the sidelines (that's Toki and Mface's thing hehehe), he needs something, hm...... Flashier. like fireball spells, but then again he's not really violent on the show and doesnt get into many fights (unlike SOMMMEEE people), so i'd say both Destruction and Restoration

BUT there's also Illusion magic, with which you seduce, make yourself shiny, paralyse, calm people etc and i cant think of a better analogy for guitar playing that stuns you and puts you into a trance because it's just so good

(also FYI nord males get a penalty in willpower and personality but i suppose he overcomes that, because i have trouble imagining him not heavily using skills governed by those stats)

and for the class- im forcing myself to pick from the set of 21 standard classes and looking at (this page) for reference because if i took custom classes into account it'd really complicate things-

an obvious answer'd be Bard, which makes sense because, you know, being popular and attractive, but in a gameplay sense it's more stealth and less magic (also if we picked bard just because he's a musician in the MTL universe, all other DK members would be bards too and that's pretty lame)

looking at the page i linked, the ''Healer'' class fits the bill, governing personality, willpower, destruction, restoration, speechcraft, and illusion. i wont lie, it doesnt sound the coolest (compare to a class desc like Nightblade, now that shit's awesome), but it makes the most sense to me

TL;DR nord by blood BUT looks and acts like a high elf, class: healer

------------------------------------------------

Toki Wartooth a nord as well but! i've met plenty of nord dudes in ES games who are really nice to me but kind of not too smart (think Thrud in Godsreach in Mornhould the city that came with Tribunal the DLC for TES3 Morrowind), and im not saying Toki isn't smart (he's educated enough, has geeky interests, knows a thing or two about model-plane building, i think he might be one of the smarter DK members actually) but a nearly-fatal flaw is his naivety which would unfortunately translate into a low intelligence or maybe personality stat in a TES game

when you have a low personality stat, NPCs dont like you as much, and (in Morrowind) whatever options you pick while Persuading an NPC are less effective, even taunt and intimidate)

but i wanna argue in the case of Toki in Tamriel, that low personality stat wouldn't come in the form of being an intimidating douchebag, because we all know Toki's really, really nice, and he has his moments of being a jerk on the show, but he's mostly kind and polite, especially to strangers, and *definitely* holds the title of ''Dethklok member most likely to agree to an autograph and selfie with a fan after a concert and then give them a friendly hug''

it's difficult for me to decide which attributes he'd govern, and a lowered luck isn't possible at character creation, but i'd lower it if possible

high strength, yes, i can imagine Toki with either a blunt or blade

high willpower, competent with restoration and destruction like Skwisgaar, but not as dedicated to the mastery, duh

high endurance- knowing the shit he's been through, might be pretty high

(''cheats death'' and ''unpredictable'' are both keywords i'd describe Toki by)

i have my eyes on either Crusader or Spellsword BUT I thought the class description for Scout fit Toki just perfect and I even made a little joke about it to my friend once

TL;DR nord spellsword or crusader, but i'd pick spellsword if i was forced to choose

------------------------------------------------

William Murderface

ive been so exicted to get to this one because, hear me out- khaijit pilgrim

Murderface's spirit animal is a dang tiger, man, and now it's true Murderface isn't very athletic or agile like a khaijit BUT listen, in Oblivion Khaijit get a daily power that let's them intimidate opponents because they're like, big cats, literally, like a tiger or lion and wouldn't you run if you saw one IRL? AND Murderface isnt very popular with fans, which I'd imagine would translate into low personality maybe, but Mface is dare i say pretty dang skilled at making people hate him or hate others or get into fights, aka using a high personality stat for bad (taunt/intimidate) not good (admire), which is why I instantly thought he'd be a Pilgrim (''They profit in life by bartering in the market, or by persuading the weak-minded.'')

look me in the eye and tell me lockpicking, sneaking and punching people arent things Murderface would love to do, also scamming merchants and stabbing people, and khaijit conveniently get a small bonus in Blade and you know who loves knives? M u r d e r f a c e

inappropiately urinating in places? cat. face like an inbred white tiger? cat. sneaky jerk? cat. also i just really want him to be a catboy, man

i did think of him as an Orc too because of the whole martial culture and being a race that was cursed with 'ugliness' (not always true, some orcs are pretty hot), *but* the martial culture orcs have isnt really the barfight kind nords or dunmer have, it's more organised and honourable is it not? they take fighting seriously

would you say Murderface'd rather practice like blunt weaponry all night and day, then go to war and die for his clan, *or* would he sneak in a tavern, steal shit, insult someone, then get into a bar fight? that's what i thought !!!!

fuckin obviously you cant appoint the latter to khaijit because that'd be racist and im not a huge fan of discrimination against beastfolk myself, an orc could be a thief too, but have a look at this:

(for orcs), and the minuses in intelligence is mostly what makes me think Murderface wouldnt be an orc because he's pretty smart

smart as in street-smart and smart with people, specifically at what makes people mad or do ugly things, and thats something I have to hand to Willy, he's cunning even if not always sucessful in that endeavor because of his bad luck and unattractiveness, but in terms of raw people-skills he's not so bad

and for his class- I know i said pilgrim earlier but i wanna consider some alternatives: rogue or thief

''a tongue as sharp as a blade'', and ''profits from the losses of others''? both Murderfacecore, but I might wanna stick with Pilgrim just because they're history nerds

TL;DR Khaijit pilgrim

------------------------------------------------

(this was an old wip i found in my drafts so i havent written Pickles's or Nathan's parts yet >_> sorry, i do have the ideas ready in my head though) (also feel free to share your opinions)

#adhd hyperfixation #ramble #tesblr #metalocalypse #the elder scrolls #skwisgaar skwigelf #toki wartooth #william murderface #nonner made this #urine m

[chicago-reeed]

Detroit Evolution

So

These are some notes that I took while I watched DE for the first time. It’s a lot. Like, six pages, a lot. I decided I should probably spare everyone’s dashboards and put it under a cut.

Warning: overuse of the fuck word because I am a dramatic little shit who gets overwhelmed easily

- Alright here we go. I don’t know if I’m mentally prepared to go through this hhhhh

- THE CINEMATOGRAPHY I NUT

- fuck he smellin the flowers good

- “hey tin can :P” “good morning gavin :P”

- I’m actually fucking crying IVE HAD TO PAUSE SO MANY TIMES JUST TO BREATHE AND IM ONLY AT 1:25

- FUCK ITS 1:27 AND HES FIXING HIS COLLAR HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WATCH THIS WHEN MY VISION IS BLURRY WITH TEARS

- “I don’t need to breathe” BAZINGA

- *slaps my face repeatedly* keep it together bitch

- “I like the way you look<3” aaaaaaaaannd here I go again

- HAHAHA HE WAS DAYDREAMING SAME NINES SAME

- oh god oh god witty banter WITTY BANTER I CANT FUNCTION

- C H R I S  IM SCREAMING

- detective motha fuckin chris I don’t need to see any more I got what I came for

- Honestly all they need to do to calm down the protestors is get nines out there so he can say “please stop you’re being very mean >:/“ and they would probably just go home ngl

- “I’ve never been intimidated by people who hate androids” OH MY GOD NINES WITH THE BAZINGA’S TODAY WHAT A LEGEND

- can I just say the white jacket is such a power move I can’t believe nines invented fashion

- Gavin bein soft and reaching back for Nines in the crowd🥺homygod

- Gavin “no one calls him plastic but ME” Reed

- The only time I will support police brutality™️

- Gavin is so OP we stan

- Nines “you raise a fist, then I get PISSED😡” RK900

- “y’all have a nice day” Protect Detective Chris Miller at all costs

- Nines sees Gavin’s scars as charming PUT ME TO DEATH

- ADA OH LORD SHES STUNNING IM SOBBING

- Okay I need to pause and breathe again the cinematography got me chokin

- Uh ooohhh someone is jeeaaalouus😛

- Nines really said “no worry fam I’ll airdrop the case files to u”

- Ada: *exists*

- me: I hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me

- HA GAV DEFINITELY JEALOUS RIP

- And nines back at it again with the sass I AM LIVING

- Chris and Gavin’s reactions to Nines imitating Ada is the best thing I’ve seen all year

- “I can do your voice too” HIS FACE IMDBDHDJKDJD CRYIGGGSBSN

- oh ;-; shit Michael really finna make me cri

- God damn the intro credits are so beautiful

- TINAAAAAAA BABYYYYY

- Real coffee hours with the sharktreuse mug🦈

- “our boy” SHIT IM CRYING AGAIN

- Tina knows Gavin was absolutely feral before Nines appeared at the DPD

- Half An Asshole squad please stand up we ride at dawn

- Gavin with the knockoff timbs WE STAN😎

- maybe “thank god, I hate you, you love me, move your feet, oop” will be our always

- I’m living for the whole “criminal minds” vibe goin on here

- Bruh Gavin got the hook-ups fr fr

- ❤️WITTY BANTER WITTY BANTER WITTY BANTER W❤️

- The level of reed900 is staggering

- I’ve had to pause and breathe so many times it’s pathetic I’m not even 15 mins in

- GAVIN SAID mwah<3🖕IM FUCKING DIED

- 850% godt damn Nines got that IOS 50 update

- NINES PUT CHRIS’ PROMOTION PARTY IN THE CALENDAR WHAT A GOOD DAD

- maybe “our calendar” will be our always

- Chris “wingman of the year” Miller

- Who’s that Pokémon??? It’s JEALOUS GAV

- The way Nines said “I don’t feel anything for her.” I see you bud

- insecure Gavin needing reassurance™️

- Im fucking dying I fucking died bro BRO WE ALL KNOW WHO YOURE TALKING ABOUT, NINES, WE ALL KNOW

- Asexual Nines FTW👊😤👏👏👏❤️He gives zero fucks of ANY kind

- AN ANGEL HAS APPEARED WITH A GLOWY BLUE SCARF

- BREAKING NEWS: affection-starved Gavin™️ is literally begging for love

- GAVIN REED STOP BEING MEAN TO GAVIN REED OR ELSE

- “But there’s much more to admire about you than to detest, I think.”<333

- JJ not being suspicious at all nope no way Jose

- Lazzo has said two words and I love him already

- I don’t think I’ve seen this episode of COPS before🤔🤔🤔

- We all know Nines secretly wants to wear those fun glasses

- “Officer I swear I’ve never seen that arm in my life, it’s my friend’s he just asked me to hold it for him, Android arm what android arm heh”

- “Like robot arms, not gun arms.” You’re doing great sweetie🥰

- HAND TOUCH HAND TOUCH HAND TOUCH H

- Chris “the interrogator” Miller😎

- THE CINEMATOGRAPHY

- soft n sleepy gav™️ is soft n sleepy

- FUCKING SLEEVELESS SWEATSHIRT IVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT GAV IN A SLEEVELESS SWEATSHIRT FOR SO LONG AND NOW IT’S REAL IM

- You can wear my😋😘sweeaatshiiiirt😝😁🤗 (I’m sorry I had to)

- inconspicuous loving glances™️

- #GiveAndroidsFuckinHealthcare2K20

- AAAHHHHHHHH I CANTT BREAF

- HEAD>ON>SHOULDER

- INCONSPICUOUS LOVING GLANCES™️

- Gavin has not slept in 80 years

- He really said “I’m fine” BITCH

- Bed time for brats™️ no later than 8:30pm

- hell yeah sleepover time

- “stop lookin at my insides n shit” I want that on a t shirt

- ANDROID DREAMS

- Nines is so soft I might die

- But he’s somehow equally suave as fuck how is this fair

- Oh my god dream!gavin is like Nines’ conscious this is so presh

- “What do you think Gavin was gonna say?” nsndJSKDOFIWKDBDNDNSJDBBDJDJDJDNDJXJNDIFUIFIEKWN HES STILL THINKING ABOUT THEIR CONVO

- dream!gavin you sly dog

- “To have this. Out there.” DONT FUCK WITH MY HEART LIKE THAT THIS INNER-MONOLOGUE FLUFF IS SO SWEET

- Nines being insecure™️

- Listen to dream!gavin, Nines, he has big brain

- The fact that Nines subconsciously KNOWS that irl!Gav “just wants someone that doesn’t hate him” but he’s STILL like alas, I can never be what gavin needs :’(

- nu babie don’t be sad🥺

- oh my god they’re both train wrecks protect them at all cost

- c r i p e s❤️the reed900 hurt/comfort we all needed

- FUCK

- Concerned boyfriends™️

- Maybe “I’m fine” will be our always

- GAV🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💔💔💔💔💔💔

- Insecure boyfriends™️

- Nines “I’m not going to get any closer to Gavin because I can’t help him but also I want to cuddle with him because he had a nightmare” RK900

- did someone say  c a t

- dumb babie gav jus spoon the dumb android so you both feel better

- Me: *rubs evil hands together* aha here comes the angst

- cue tragic backstory

- oh

- tragic backstory indeed

- YES DAD!FOWLER WE LOVE

- Gavin is so desperate for anyone to care about him I’m crying tears

- SHIT IT’S CUDDLE TIME™️ NOW IM REALLY FUCKING CRYING

- Alexa this is so god damn sad play despacito

- YES

- HAND>HOLDING

- HEAD>ON>SHOULDER

- NINES’ SKIN RETRACTING WHERE THEIR HANDS ARE TOUCHING THIS IS LIKE EVERY REED900 STAN’S DREAM COME TRUE

- Oh shit it’s about to get domestic I don’t think I’m mentally prepared

- YOU CAN WEAR MY😝💪SWEEAATSHIIIIIIRT🤪🔥🔥🔥 (I’m never letting the sleeveless sweatshirt thing go)

- Uh oh NO FUCK I’ve read enough fan fiction to know that this is where Gavin’s fucking trust issues kick in and he decides pushing nines away is safer than getting closer to him SHIT

- AND NINES GETS CONFUSED AND HURT

- AND THEN GAVIN GETS HURT

- I feel angst in this Chili’s tonight

- “I need you to leave” aaaaaaahhhhhhhh here come a whole different kind of tears

- frick dude that ouches

- Insert sad babie noises

- Oml the tension☠️poor Chris and Ada are like😑😑

- Chris could solve this case all by himself change my mind

- Gavin and Nines = (ò///-///ó)

- Chris = :D~oblivious~

- HELL YEAH PARTY TIME

- BEST WIVES TINA AND VALERIE AHHHH

- reed900 who??? I don’t know her. I only know ❤️valerina❤️

- I can’t believe Gavin and Nines invented angst

- I went and got blue gatorade just so I could pretend I was drinking thirium like Nines

- #DetectiveChen2K20

- real sad gavin hours

- Ruh roh Gavin bouta die from the ‘rona virus because rat man smokes hella

- CINEMATOGRAPHY CHEEEEECK HOLY SHIT

- my entire aesthetic in a single shot jfc

- Aaaaahhhh Nines trying to be a supportive bf just makes me ;-; [takes damage]

- HES ACCEPTED GAVIN AS MORE THAN A PARTNER🥺that, my friends, is what we call character development

- We stan the otp aggressively talking about their feelings

- “I’m not going anywhere.” FUCK™️

- SMOKE>FACE

- Aaaaand they’re back at square one. It’s cool it’s fine it’s all good we can work with this.

- Gavin: I don’t need you ò-ó

- Gavin: *immediately after Nines leaves* fuck ó-ò

- “It’s fine”™️

- I love Ada so much hhhhhh she said 🤨

- “Basic Instinct” TINA WITH THE HEAT OMG

- *nervous laugh* haha Ada sis maybe chill a little bit ha ha

- oh no I have a not good feeling

- ADA CHILL ADA CHILL

- WHY IS HE FOLLOWING HER INTO AN ALLEY AFTER THAT SKETCHY TALK

- AAA FUCK FUCK FUCJDJEMNSNDJDNXU FUCK I FUCKING KNEW IT FUCK SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCK

- 😖x1000000

- Oh my god this is so fucking sad Alexa play The Sound of Silence

- Nines got fucked up and Gavin is CONCERNED

- aayyyyy bro Nines full on nakey

- Tina and Gavin sad bro huggin👊😔

- ADA HOW DARE YOU. HOW VERY DARE YOU.

- Uh oh Nines is fckn PISSED

- he MAD mad

- Tina speakin straight facts I love her

- WOOP GAVIN FINALLY ADMITTING HE NEEDS NINES

- f u c k  right in the heart

- I don’t want to attempt writing any notes at this moment because my thoughts are completely incoherent I am a MESS

- “I need you to come back, Nines.” DONT PLAY W ME LIKE THAT

- HAND HOLDING FTW

- Did Gavin really almost bring Nines back through the power of love I am SHAKING

- Dream!Gavin speaking truth as ALWAYS

- These damn flashbacks making me feel some type of way

- OH SHIT HE AWAKE

- that actually low key jump scared me

- God damn these sets are so fucking pro, I’m so happy

- REUNION

- Tina really say “Chris ;) ;) lets go get some ;) coffee ;) ;) ;) ;)”

- CHRIS’ REALIZATION FACE FUCKING LAID ME OUT I HAD TO PAUSE I WAS LAUGJINB SO HARD

- You Undead Asshole™️

- Gavin: ( ⚆ _ ⚆ ) fuck he actually heard me talk about my feelings n shit

- Nines: You literally told me you fucking needed me like five minutes ago

- Gavin: huh weird that doesn’t sound like me I actually hate you

- ooOOHHH  S H I T

- REALLY IS THIS REALLY HAPPENIGN

- woah shit sorry I blacked out for a second what happened

- MY POOR LITTLE FUCKING REED900 HEART IS EXPLODING AND IMPLODING AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME

- CAAAAAAAAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE TONIIIGGHTT

- holy shit I actually gave myself a bloody fucking nose because I smacked my face too hard in excitement

- ❤️💘🧡💞💕💘💓💚💛💘💞💓💛💛💞💘❤️💚💘💜💕💖❤️❤️💕💓💗💘💖💚💝❤️

- FUCK

- “What dipshit programmed you to do that?” 🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️❤��FUCK

- My aunt came in and told me she heard me shouting then asked why I was crying

- HAHA FUCKING CHRIS IS MEEEE

- shit I need to like..,,,,physically recover from that

- whew okay break time is over let’s fucking go

- Nines in the cheeky turtleneck I SEE U

- #DETECTIVECHEN2K20

- Gavin: I’m ready to take this hoe DOWN

- Initiate protocol: SAVE ADA FROM HERSELF

- I could listen to Tina talk to dispatch for hours🥰❤️❤️❤️

- WHITE TRENCH COAT WHITE TRENCH COAT WHITE TRENCH COAT WHITE T

- Gavin being hella concerned boyfriend™️

- FIGHT SCENE™️

- omfg that crowbar really went *CLANG* when it hit Ada’s steel fkn abs what a legend💪😎

- Hell yeah epic Nines gif moment

- no Ada don’t choke Gavin it only makes him stronger

- CHRIS THE MOTHER FUCKIN GOAT😎👏👏👏he really said “fuck ur monologue I’m here to get shit done”

- ADA QUEEN YOURE OKAY SWEETIE

- That character development godt damn

- I might be reaching but Gavin is now wearing a white/off-white shirt/gray that kINDA RESEMBLES DREAM!GAVIN’S SHIRT. Coincidence? I THINK NOT. THATS SYMBOLISM IF I EVER DID SEE IT.

- “buyer’s remorse, huh?”

- “I can’t be everything you need.”

- That awkward moment when you realize the person you were hiding your feelings from has also been hiding their feelings from you.

- “a year of that fuckin’...Ken Doll face smirkin’ at me every day” BE CUTER GAVIN, I DARE YOU.

- naked hand = love

- CHEEKY BASTARDS

- FUCK FUCK FUCK ME

- THAT WAS SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL

- So my review of this film could be summed up by saying that I basically cried for an hour and fifteen minutes.

- Holy damn

#fun game: watch the film and try to guess what each of these crazy ramblings is referring to #im still reeling from all of that #I think I need to watch it again #yes that sounds like a plan #this is kind of like a review #if it were written by an emotional crackhead who got zero sleep last night #also #happy easter babes #if u celebrate it of course #what did we do to deserve this film #jfc there are still tears in my eyes #I need to watch it again asap #Detroit evolution #octopunk media #reed900

[thedancefloorsilly]

CONGRATS JAY BAE<33(if i didn’t do this right then let me know and i’ll do it again lol)

name || rae isn’t my real name but yeah

age || secret but ISTG IM A TEENAGER

appearance || i don’t have that super sexy female body i always wanted but the usual average one. 💀 curly shoulder length black hair , dark brown eyes , i (sadly) have acne but i just cover it up with my hair , i’m around 5’5-5’7 , usually people just refer to me as a female because that’s my assigned gender but i’m fine with any pronouns really haha. i’ll just go with [she/her] though

personality || it’s hard for me to interact with people i just met and i can just get really awkward and shut down completely. so i can be so antisocial at times. i forget unimportant things constantly and it just makes me so mad like- i’m that one person who just walks into a room and just forgets what they even walked in there to do

likes || it’s probably weird but i’m really into these peanut butter banana smoothies this place down the street makes. i like drawing , horror , rollerblading , resident evil games , mother mother , my irl bestie , and of course you jay bae<3

dislikes || racist people , sexist people , homophobic people , karen’s , just people in general , THOSE WEIRD GACHA HEAT KIDS , loud and sudden noises like thunder blehhh , school and two of my teachers , quarantine , and short dresses just to name a few

hobbies || usually i just draw and listen to music but , i sometimes play horror games with my friends whenever i’m free. i can’t get out and do much because of quarantine so that sucks:/

f/o’s || platonically it HAS to be alluka/nanika. but romantically you already know that it’s my spider emo fictional boyfriend feitan👀

i’m starting to wonder if i was a little too bland with this

RAE BAE HEY TYSM!! I knew u were gonna pick them look at me being a mind reader😌 hope u enjoy homie >:))

Alluka

- Even though it might be hard for you to interact with someone at first, that’s not a problem to Alluka!! She doesn’t find you to be awkward or anything, because honestly, she just views you as another friend to make. Her exuberant personality won’t be any less than usual even if you just met!

- One thing Alluka has never done before is rollerblading. Of course, since you know how to do it, you decided to teach her how!! Though she had no experience or had no idea what she was doing whatsoever, Alluka was super thrilled to try and learn! After she bought her own skates, you and her were going to try skating around a bit so that Alluka can get a feel for it. 

- Well.. she wasn’t the best at it, but Alluka did certainly tried her best!! She slipped a few times here and there, maybe even fell and got a little sad afterwards. Of course though, you made SURE to try and praise Alluka for her efforts (because we don’t want to see her sad). After giving her many compliments, you also gave her some advice that no one is amazing on their first try, and that practice makes perfect :,) Alluka then took this advice, got up again, and wanted to continue to learn how to rollerblade (Nanika also appreciated this praise and advice).

- Every time you’re drawing silently by yourself or something like that, Alluka loves to just peak over your shoulder to see what you’re drawing. She’s so intrigued by the process of you drawing, and just loves looking through your art. Sometimes Alluka will also ask if you can draw her, or if she can look through your sketchbook if you have (yes, these are pet peeves for most artists, but Alluka’s so sweet with how she asks its adorable 😭 how the hell could you say no??).

- You guys will ALWAYS watch Disney movies together!! Just like you, she just loves those types of movies. The ones with the princesses are her personal favorites as Alluka CANNOT stop staring at all those long pretty dresses. If you ever gift these type of dresses to her one day, she’s going to be SOO happy!!! Just seeing her bright grin as she rushes to try it on will make you immediately know that she likes it.

- I can always imagine Alluka giving you tight hugs from behind :) Every time she see’s you, she just rushes towards you with a smiling face. Sometimes you can always here her even running towards you since Alluka sometimes likes to call out your name before giving you a hug. 

Feitan

- Now at first, it might’ve taken a while before Feitan and you warmed up to each other at first. But, once you got more adjusted to his personality, and he started to open up a little more around you, that’s when your personalities just started to click!! 

- You and Feitan have a lot of similarities, and liking anything to do with horror I one of them!! I can imagine you guys having these little dates inside the house where you and him just watch horror movies all day. You and Feitan are just sitting on the couch with a giant blanket wrapped around you guys, while there’s a hot bowl of popcorn in front of you, along with a bunch of candy, too (including skittles of course). 

- Another scenario I have revolves around the fact that you like rainy days. Rainy days are probably the best days together because it really brings out the lazy side in the both of you. I can imagine you too just spooning together quietly in your room while theres heavy rain pouring 😩 Feitan doesn’t care if he’s the big or little spoon, but since you like being held, he’s the one that will hold you in his arms. 

- The whole time too, he just clings onto you like a cat. Even though Feitan isn’t really the affectionate type, he’ll make an exception since he just LOVES the feeling of you guys being together. If there’s any loud thunder, Feitan will just clutch on you tighter to bring you comfort knowing that you don’t like these kind of loud noises. 

- Even though Feitan could less about appearance he thinks. you. are. beautiful. the. way. you. are. :)))) He’s not very insecure with himself, but he just doesn’t understand it where this is coming from??? He doesn’t like how you tear yourself down about some things (especially when he thinks you look great)!  Overall, Feitan just loves you for you!!!

- The gifts he gives you sometimes are very interesting. You’re lucky you like those creepy-cute things because Feitan definitely delivers with that. One day he brought you some kind of decor of a skull that held these flowers that bloomed through the sockets (think of the skull kind of like a vase-is). It was definitely a Feitan-like gift, as you weren’t sure if he’d bought this or not.. The skull looked very realistic thats for sure (maybe even toooo realistic). Then again, the sentiment was definitely there, and you still appreciated it nonetheless.. but sometimes you still wonder about where that skull came from. 

- Now, he’s a little hesitant about giving affection, but giving you small kisses is something he likes to do! Sometimes, Feitan will just randomly ask you to lean down, but you’re not sure why. Once you do, he’s moving some hair away from your face so Feitan can just shyly give a small kiss to your forehead. He doesn’t say much afterwards (except give you a little smile), but the gesture is always so sweet!!

#'and of course you jay bae<3' #<<I HEART YOU !! #gacha heat kids puhleaseee 😭 #you already know I had a fun time writing this #300 followers event #f/o #selfship #feitan

[drangues]

IM DOING MY BEST, the key is just working it into my routine? I’m gonna try having it in plain sight at my normal seat in the kitchen and hope that helps a bit. Also yeah, if I don’t forget that I wrote it down at all, it’ll kinda fade into visual static or something? Like, I’ll see it, but not register it. And!!! I’m glad you got through it, at least- That’s always the hardest part. I’m sure you’ll do fine, though!!! And even if you don’t, it won’t horribly affect you, I’d hope. (Nyanon, 1/7)

Also your teacher is a Fool if a doodle of a cat doesn’t convince them, it’d convince me. Anyways, Dazai and Chuuya really are a great BrOTP for me, too- Though they’re slightly nudged out by Dazai and Kunikida for me, because the two of them are hilarious and I’ll admit that I think they’re healthier for each other than Dazai and Chuuya are in canon? Which is less on Soukoku and more on the situation and how they were forced to proceed, really. (In other news, Mori, why?) (Nyanon, 2/7)

It’d probably be better in Literally Any Other Universe. But also I’m sucker for the team of Dazai, Kunikida, Atsushi, and Kyouka, so I could also be a bit biased. I’m glad you have a friendship that you’re so confident in, though!!! I don’t know if I have a friend like that myself, but it’s nice to hear that others do. And listen I’m here for ANY Akutagawa and Atsushi friendship, they’re the sort of friends who’re like “IM the only one who can tease them” and it’s great. (Nyanon, 3/7)

But yeah, in the Moving Castle-verse specifically, they’d be hilarious, especially coming from such wildly different backgrounds??? Akutagawa doesn’t get why the books have to be organized so meticulously, they’re just stacks of paper, and also that’s the third time Atsushi’s swept today is he alright? Atsushi, meanwhile, is horrified by how,, Chaotic, Akutagawa’s “system” is- There are bottles everywhere, how does he find anything??? See, this is why Dazai’s hair got messed up. (Nyanon, 4/7)

Of course, like you said, it comes from a place of friendship and they also try and look out for each other- Atsushi refuses to let Akutagawa work if he’s not feeling well, and Akutagawa tries to be neater with his things, since he knows how anxious messes make Atsushi. Also can I just say that I feel like old!Atsushi would look like a guy who gives very good hugs? I feel like he’d look like a very sweet old man... Anyways YEAH everyone is BSD needs a hug. (Nyanon, 5/7)

Except for like, a few people, you know the ones. Fuck them. It’s just that I wanna hug Atsushi specifically, I feel like it’d be akin to hugging a cat. Also you canNOT tell me that Dazai wouldn’t pull something like that to get a very cuddly Atsushi in his lap, he’s just that Chaotic. And that’s fair, but consider- Atsushi using games like that (though not just otome games, to be fair) to feel like he means something to someone when he’s feeling really low about himself. (Nyanon, 6/7)

Also listen Atsushi is a Very hard worker and Kunikida Knows This, he isn’t gonna punish him for being sleepy. Also Atsushi helps by doing a lot of Dazai’s paperwork and Kunikida will freely admit that this alone earns him a few naps. Moving on to another Scenario Concept, though: Atsushi letting Kyouka (and the others, if they wanna) dress him up! Kyouka specifically because she’s his baby sis, but I do feel he’d really enjoy people doing his hair or painting his nails. (Nyanon, 7/7)

you can do it!! youre gonna get it into your routine in no time, my friend irl has add so i understand the struggles that come with it (not fully of course since i dont have it but you get me). my teacher is indeed a fool and i hope i have you as my teacher instead

OH GOD YES DAZAI AND KUNIKIDAAAA they work so well together and just F I T i love their dynamic i hate it when its JUST reduced to “oh kunikida hates dazai lol” (which is partly true, but its what makes their brotp amazing) there was a dazatsu fic i read where dazai was bleeding out`?? and he confessed his love to atsushi to kunikida who was like “Bruh focus on not DYING” and i think that was a really beautiful brotp moment between them tbh

YOU DESERVE A FRIEND LIKE THAT. HERES TO HOPING YOULL GET ONE YOURE SUCH A NICE PERSON AND INTERESTING TO TALK TO

old!atsushi definitely looks like he can give good hugs!! everyone in bsd needs hugs indEED agreed dude, the image that hugging atsushi is like hugging a cat lives rent free in my head now thank you i love it. atsushi playing those games to feel validated is S A D D D D D UGH BBY COME HEREEEEE

kunikida seeing him as a wonderful coworker warms my heart, i absolutely love it thank you and kyouka giving atsushi make over cause she gets a bit too obsessed with makeover reality tv shows is geTTING M  E  EE E I LOVE IT

#anon #ask #ask anon #anon ask #bsd #nyanon #nyatsushi anon

[dylinski]

do 1-100, coward

I AM NO COWARD

anyone who actually reads through all this, god bless you. you can blame leigh @thessaia, i give you full authority.

1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?

of those three, pandora. although, i prefer apple music.

2. is your room messy or clean?

LMFAO. CLEAN? I DON’T KNOW HER

3. what color are your eyes?

brown, but they’re lighter than that in the right light. almost a caramel with a dark chocolate ring on the outside.

4. do you like your name? why?

yeah, i don’t mind it. its always been there. lol i mean i used to have different nicknames or pretend to be other people. idk i told my parents when i was like five i was going to change my name to Felicia Franchesca Sarahmichelle Lynn. don’t ask. in fifth grade (before dylan o’brien was even famous) i begged my parents to call me dylan and refused to respond to any other name for like a year. also, don’t ask.

5. what is your relationship status?

single as dingle

6. describe your personality in 3 words or less

CHAOTIC, SMARTASS, STABBY

7. what color hair do you have?

answered

8. what kind of car do you drive? color?

kia forte, although my dad calls it an orte since the “f” is missing. funny story, i  got pulled over and gave the dude my license and registration and shit but apparently, he didn’t look at it cause he put on the warning “orte” which i promptly laughed my ass off to. if he had given me a ticket i could have absolutely fought that bitch in court in won. SIR I DO NOT DRIVE AN ORTE. IS THAT ITALIAN? DO I LOOK LIKE I CAN AFFORD AN ITALIAN CAR? I DRIVE A FORTE SIR.

9. where do you shop?

ONLINE

10. how would you describe your style?

very idgaf

11. favorite social media account

tumblr

12. what size bed do you have?

full, it takes up my entire room so i couldn’t go bigger if i wanted to

13. any siblings?

answered

14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

uk, always wanted to live there idk

15. favorite snapchat filter?

idk what its called but it has this higher temperature tone to it and gives me cute little freckles

16. favorite makeup brand(s)

i don’t wear make up, i used to use stilla (i think that’s how its spelled)

17. how many times a week do you shower?

i usually shower like every other day unless its hotter than a pair of saggy tits

18. favorite tv show?

that changes with the weather tbh. i can’t say i really have one. for a really long time it was supernatural though.

19. shoe size?

womans 11.5 (us) i think its a men’s 9?

20. how tall are you?

5′ 3″ or 160cm

21. sandals or sneakers?

sneakers. god i hate sandals.

22. do you go to the gym?

uh, no.

23. describe your dream date

answered

24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

thats funny cause normally i don’t carry cash but i actually have $20 atm

25. what color socks are you wearing?

im not wearing any atm

26. how many pillows do you sleep with?

answered x2

27. do you have a job? what do you do?

not technically? i’m an hourly temp but i hardly get any hours since i cover for the full-time employee.

28. how many friends do you have?

irl: 0    online: too many to count

29. whats the worst thing you have ever done?

oh god, i honest to god have no fucking clue. i don’t think about this stuff. i’ve done some stupid ass shit but my short term and long term memory are both shot to tits.

30. whats your favorite candle scent?

i think i answered this one for a different ask game. i hate most fragrances and artificial smells, even non-artifical ones. i got a sensitive sniffer. im chill with like vanilla though if its not too intense.

31. 3 favorite boy names

Dylan (not even cause dylan i’ve just always liked the name idk why), Jeremy, Jacob (the other two are random)

32. 3 favorite girl names

i know these are random as fuck, but i’ve always liked them so shoot me.

Andromeda, Persephone, Franchesca

33. favorite actor?

i like a lot of actors, way too many to fucking name and remember off the top of my noggin. for sanity’s sake, we’ll say dylan.

34. favorite actress?

god, again way too many to count. i can’t even think of any right now even though i know i have some. lets say Emily Hampshire

35. who is your celebrity crush?

answered36. favorite movie?

answered37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?

i would love to read but my adhd makes it really hard to concentrate. i’ll have periods of time where i’ll read a bunch its insane and then i’ll just kind of stop for a while idk. i always loved because of win-dixie or a wrinkle in time, bridge to terabithia, and american assassin.

38. money or brains?

brains, then you can work for the money and you know shit

39. do you have a nickname? what is it?

sawahbwear, sassafras, whiskey, sar

40. how many times have you been to the hospital?

good lord, i don’t even know. way too many. definitely more than ten.

41. top 10 favorite songs

answered42. do you take any medications daily?

not anymore, i kept forgetting to take them so it fucked me up not being on a regular dosage so i just stopped taking all of them.

43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

see, im weird af. cause like my skin is oily af, but also fucking dry and i have shitty eczema 44. what is your biggest fear?

answered45. how many kids do you want?

idfk. i mean for as long as i can remember i always wanted them, but tbh idk if im the type of person to have any…

46. whats your go to hair style?

messy bun

47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)

small, row house

48. who is your role model?

dont have one.

49. what was the last compliment you received?

probably from michelle i think, or alaina. idk i don’t keep track. unless you consider kiana calling me insane a compliment. 🤷‍♀️

50. what was the last text you sent?

“thankies”

51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

tbh, i don’t think i ever thought he was real…pretty sure i could put in time out in preschool for making a kid cry cause i told them leprechauns weren’t real either.

52. what is your dream car?

mustang or challenger

53. opinion on smoking?

conflicted

54. do you go to college?

disappointingly

55. what is your dream job?

no clue

56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?

rural, but still close enough to shit it doesn’t take me an hour to go places.

57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?

haven't been to a hotel in a long ass time. i do but i never use them.. FREE SHIT

58. do you have freckles?

yeah, but you can’t see them unless i’ve been outside in the sun all day for hours.

59. do you smile for pictures?

relatively

60. how many pictures do you have on your phone?

5604

61. have you ever peed in the woods?

yup, and in a parking lot, and in public.🤙

62. do you still watch cartoons?

i hardly watch tv anymore, but if i did, fuCK YEAH

63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?

WNEDYS ALL DAY ERRY DAY THE RED HEADED BITCH IS MY HOE OKAY

64. Favorite dipping sauce?

ew, no.

65. what do you wear to bed?

tshirt

66. have you ever won a spelling bee?

answered

67. what are your hobbies?

writing, coding, listening to music??, reading

68. can you draw?

NOPE

69. do you play an instrument?

also no

70. what was the last concert you saw?

like two years ago, circa survive with thrice and a third band idr

71. tea or coffee?

neither

72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

neither

73. do you want to get married?

idk

74. what is your crush’s first and last initial?

DO

75. are you going to change your last name when you get married?

idk, part of me wants to but most of me doesnt want to

76. what color looks best on you?

i look good in all colors except white.

77. do you miss anyone right now?

yeah

78. do you sleep with your door open or closed?

closed cause i still live at home 😖 but if i didnt probably open so my cat could come and go as he pleased

79. do you believe in ghosts?

ghosts, no. spirits, yes.

80. what is your biggest pet peeve?

answered

81. last person you called

my dad

82. favorite ice cream flavor?

mint choco chip

83. regular oreos or golden oreos?

damn, regular.

84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

RAINBOW BITCHES

85. what shirt are you wearing?

supernatural. dean and sam with baby

86. what is your phone background?

mitch rapp

87. are you outgoing or shy?

im an ambivert

88. do you like it when people play with your hair?

FUCKING YES

89. do you like your neighbors?

the ones on the right are bearable and the ones on the left can fuck off with their insane semen demons

90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

neither, but i should.

91. have you ever been high?

nope

92. have you ever been drunk?

answered

93. last thing you ate?

hot dog

94. favorite lyrics right now

answered

95. summer or winter?

fall

96. day or night?

night

97. dark, milk, or white chocolate?

dark

98. favorite month?

umm, august? idk

99. what is your zodiac sign

aquarius

100. who was the last person you cried in front of?

i don’t remember, it’s been a really long time since i cried in front of someone.

#thessaia #ask games #BET YOU THOUGHT I WOULDNT #HA #BITE ME #YOUR BITCH ASS BETTER READ EVERY DAMN ONE CAUSE THIS SHIT TOOK ME LIKE A GODDAMN HOUR

[misterbitches]

i said i would talk about saizon and usually i would be under the influence. but i am not yet. read the * at end of the post first if u want clarification of overall.

i might mention torfight (will refer as f/t) but if anyone gets upset just chill. it’s a really inconsequential opinion. the chances of someone stumbling upon this means nothing. it isnt’ a compare and contrast just how i personally feel while viewing these shows. and i probably want to dive into what this means in a broader context since i have all the time and brain space in the world 

from the first encounter of saifah and zon or their first encounter outside of their “kiss” (LOL? so unnecessary) it was clear that as awkward as it could or may be there was natural chemistry. which i want my tiny head to explore.

so a lot of BL (which is like....tv and movies etc in general anyways) hell even dramas may have a less sexual undertone to get to where they are going. which i think is a problem with tv in general (a friend was bringing this up with the new rules of social distancing on set which...capitalism but whatever)  where sex is a vehicle for connection. a lot of BLs can be explicit i suppose, but in the west it’s like jumping into bed is a huge base for a lot of couples. also everyone fucks too much who cares.

but sex, kisses, hookups, any nudity, etc is not a placeholder for like actual intimacy, romantic love, showing love. that’s part of why i hate the concept of love at first sight, at least the way it plays out. you can really like someone, hell maybe even love, when you see them or feel this bond but the bond isn’t because you TOUCHED them.

there’s a difference between natural chemistry and forced. natural chemistry is what you would prefer which is why casting directors have literally chemistry tests to test your compatibility as actors, with a writer/director, and on camera. there can be people whose chemistry develops and we see the potential, or people who we know don’t love each other IRL and this is acting but it’s still powerful. but this always means you have to give them the time and space. actors can jump in/out of character but it’s human nature. if two peopl eare meeting for the first time and have to simulate sex there’s going to be this natural like...strangeness. obviously. viewers can see it.

so when you get two people who click irl and it doesn’t always have to be romantic or sexually it’s kind of more of a thrill. very obviously mii2 are a lot more flexible around each other so it is less mechanic. i think i like watching tharntype because even tho i feel like parts of it seriously need some oil, i can see and understand a relationship developing through their characters as they act (and i do not particularly think they are good actors.)

the friendship that saizon display—whether we think it is spontaneous and too quick or not—is legitimately nice. and they are very obviously comfortable with each other. i guess there can be an idea of romantic friendship (but idk abt that one, we dont have to fucking label everything you can love someone so deeply in your own way outside of our parameters bla bla capitalism ruining everything bla bla individualism)

they got in each others faces, then would do very weird shit together, because that’s who they are. for me personally i think being able to have fun with your partner is iMPERATIVE. one of my fav moments is when they fucking meow at each other (which i know is a thai joke, right? idk) and it is so weird but you can tell they understand the way they communicate?

to me  like...having someone you feel something deep with is that there’s this role you guys are playing, it’s a joke you started, and with the best kind of intimacy and love your partner can keep it going, keep it rolling, hang it up in the air and you guys just go back adn forth....forever lol 

i also legitimately think it is important to hammer home the fact that you are yourself without a partner and i really resent a message that makes it seem like you can’t live without someone. maybe a lack of saizon was good that way. like they existed as two seperate people. their love and attraction weren’t the only thing going for them. it was just natural and very nice.

this particular display of romance and affection is one that’s strong but doesn’t take itself too seriously. not because you don’t want to lose them but because there’s enough security. or like, it’s really guided by this unspeakable feeling you feel with another person. 

i’m not sure if that means soulmates but it’s something close. saifah doesn’t expect zon to be someone he can’t, but it doesn’t mean he has to let himself go completely for him. when he expressed being sad that zon pulled away it’s normal. and zon knew he couldn’t do it but they still got through it. and then he pats the bed and saifah jumps on him.

these types of couples remind me of why i feel the way i do about love. i can’t imagine something fucking bogging me down, where i feel like i can’t get up without pulling me, where i don’t feel myself first. zon was figuring himself out and he was thinking of himself and his feelings. bc he should. 

that’s another reason why trapped MC (H3) is one of my favs. first of all THEY LAUGHED TOGETHER WHICH IS LIKE A REQUIREMENT UR NO FUN IF UR A SQUARE and second of all they were going to spend year apart and could do that. had to. fuck the carceral state but. 

you don’t ask someone to give up a part of themselves, you only want them to be the best they can be. it isnt through demands it’ sgrowing with them and fucking respecting them with everything you have. and it means having a foundation outside of them, too. 

i know people get upset at the “love anybody but u have to love yourself” adage but i don’t really see it tht way. i absolutely believe you need to learn to be healthy alone and have a community. rely on all sorts of people. have different types of love and figure yourself out. we can’t be free as human beings without it and i would rather fucking die than not feel free. 

oh and like....being with someone where you feel seen and heard not shamed. i read this thing in the atlantic like, partnerships fail a lot because of lack of validation. imagine having someone who trusts you, and maybe helps to trust yourself, and validates you by being there. nice.

and it’s nice having someone you love so deeply and beautifully along for the ride. instead of no actual pleasure outside of sex, your relationship IS the pleasure. beautiful stunning etc. and that’s what makes everythign feel good the love, sex, living, whatever. with someone and with yourself.

this got away from me in conclusion theyre very cute eand that’s cos it’s easy and natural. mii2 are fun to watch as saizon and themselves. life shouldnt be too hard. im a big fan of working as little as possible and being happy kekekek

*i am talking monogamy, love, and the self. why only ‘traditional’ rships? first: i literally cannot handle people because i can’t handle my mind. non-monagamy is incredibly alluring to me for my autonomy, in the abstract, and in theory. however, in practice, i don’t think—for me as a black woman and what it means for me—i can enact anything i feel would be detrimental to me or puts me in a position where i feel forced into a dynamic i no longer care for. 

and who knows if that changes? i only do and care about the things i like and find important. no one else but me, family, and friends. how i choose. so i am talking abt monogamy but u can interpret that for other rships if you wish. 

second: it’s. my. life. 

i dont carrreeee about monogamy/non monagamy outside of liberation and sexual freedom and what does that mean?  there is no blueprint for that. there is no future expectation for a relationship, there is nothing but how we choose to interact with the world and community. first and foremost: love means so many things and it doesn’t have to mean any “new” ideas. or “instincts.” who fucking cares. we can’t reimagine literal relationships, people are fucking toxic in all types of them, only reimagine how we interact with ourselves and each other. there is no fucking guarantee with any of this we are safe. you cannot predict life. just live it. honor yourself first. there’s some black feminists books on like love and intimacy if you are curious how capitalism binds us. we keep wanting to find solutions WITHIN when its like nah, it;s our own fuckin terms. self-love becomes the love you can extract from others. it isn’t sustainable. 

ROMANTIC LOVE WAS INVENTED TO MANIPULATE WOMEN = JENNY HOLZER

#these are all lit FOR ME #a thot #and if ppl like it so be it #saizon #i am an iNSANE romantic #huge #heh

[daydreambeliever1994]

ABC Tag Game !!

thank you @the-sassiest-trixster for tagging me ♡♡♡♡

A - age ? im 18

B - birth place ? new york

C - current time ? its 12:45 am

D - drink you last had ? water lmao

E - easiest person to talk to ? there are so many people. 2 of them arent on tumblr, and they're my brother and my brothers girlfriend. i love them both very much. and on here, there are LOTS OF Y'ALL ! @thisisleanne @rodgepodge906 my best friend ♡ @breakthrubaby @queen-irl-af @godknowsimtaylored you all are cool people ♡ (if anyone wants to talk to me who i didnt mention, SLIDE INTO MY DMS !!!)

F - favorite song ? this is a hard question, cause i love so many songs. but a song ive loved since i was a young kid is I Got My Mind Set On You by George Harrison, and September by Earth Wind and Fire. but, a song that stays with me forever is both Better Now by my boy Post-y Malone-sty (that's what i call him lmao) and See You Again by Wiz Khalifa. i also love It Ain't Me by Selena Gomez. but tbh, i can go on and on about music and why some songs mean everything to me. but, rn, its Bang Bang by Nancy Sinatra. oh and Shut Up by The Black Eyed Peas

G - grossest memery ? GOD I HAVE SO MANY ! one of them was when i was about 7 or 8, me and my older bro were wrestling, and his knee hit my two front teeth, and they came right out. there was so much blood lmao. another one was from when i was 4, i fell while i was on rocks by the ocean and i cut all up my shin. another one was when i closed my finger in a door, but that was more cool (looking back at it, not at the time lmao) than gross.

H - horror yes, or, horror no ? depends, sometimes i can handle horror and other times i cant. i used to be able to sit through hours and hours of horror movies, but ive been through a lot of traumatic shit, so they're not as enjoyable anymore. but im always down for a good horror movie session.

I - in love ? in real life ? no, not really. not yet. crushing, yes, but not in love. but celebrity wise, harry styles, roger taylor and paul mccartney have my heart and soul forever.

J - jealous of people ? ashamed to admit it, but, yes, i am.

K - (there wasnt a k to go off of so imma make one up) kiss on first date ? depends tbh. if ive known the person for a long time, totally. but if its a blind date, maybe not. if things go great, and we get along, then yeah. but if its eh, maybe not.

L - love at first sight, or should i walk by again ? love at first sight, but it always bites me in the ass

M - middle name ? Eden, sis is boring, but its also unique, so i love it.

N - number of siblings ? i have an older brother, older sister and a younger brother.

O - one wish ? that i could see my best friend one last time, so i could laugh with her and tell her how much i love her. thats probably my biggest regret with losing my best friend, that i didnt tell her i loved her that day

P - person you last called ? my mom

Q - (again, there was no q, so imma make one up again) Queen or The Beatles ? why not both ?

R - reading anything right now ? no, but i want to. im gonna reread The Discovery Of Witches, one of my favorite books.

S - song you last sang ? Man On Fire by my man Roger Taylor

T - time you woke up ? i woke up at 9, but i fell back asleep and woke up at 11

U - underwear color ? neon green LMAO

V - vacation destination ? Maine, always. my happy place ♡

W - when was the last time you really laughed ? today with my brother and his girlfriend, and my younger brother. we all were playing Wii, and it was tennis and bowling and we all are so competitive. it was really fun !

X - x-rays ? yeah, a few. i broke my wrist and my middle finger, so i got x-rays on them. it was awful with my finger cause i had to straighten it and it was swollen as fuck (and i saw my bone WHICH WAS SO COOL !!! i was like 9, and i was so fascinated by my own bone LMAO), and it hurt so bad.

Y - your favorite food ? enchiladas and chimichangas OH MY FUCKING GOD

Z - zodiac sign ? my sun is scorpio, my moon is aries, my rising is scorpio (double scorpio up in this bitch)

i tag : @thisisleanne @im-inlovewithmycar @in-the-dark-i-care @official-spidey @breakthrubaby @queen-irl-af @godknowsimtaylored