#ex bff | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

virginpornstar · 6 months

Text

Gay Friendships Die At 30

Once my gay best friends turn 30 the friendship is over. Doesn't matter if we've been friends for 5 years or 15+ years. Gays want to start acting different and doing immature shit we weren't even doing in our 20s. I'd rather be former friends than fake friends. So once the fake shady immature bullshit starts, I gotta exit. Well make them exit my life.

The reason this friendship ended is so stupid, and I knew it was stupid from the beginning, but I can't repair things with someone on a mission to want to destroy them.

So my BFF (well former BFF now) and I were planning to meetup in LA. I was going to already be in California anyway or a work trip, and I wanted to go to LA anyway. I had a bad experience in LA last year, and I wanted a do-over. Plus I really wanted a picture with the Hollywood sign since I didn't get one last year.

My BFF was going to be in LA because he was flying to Asia with friends for his bday trip. Which I chose not to go on since I've never really had any interest in going to Asia. Plus the trip was originally supposed to be to Europe, but he randomly changed it. I was excited to go to Europe with him, since we had originally planned to go in 2020, but Covid happened. Plus I ended up going to Europe with another friend earlier this year, and had an amazing time.

Granted I never told him I was going to Europe until after I landed there. Which was shady and passive aggressive on my part. There's been a lot of shady and passive aggressive things over the recent years, which I'm sure slowly contributed to the demise of the friendship. It's like on Insecure when Molly and Issa fell out. It didn't just suddenly happen, but a gradual buildup. I'm definitely Molly and he's Issa.

Since we were both going to be in Cali at the same time, it made sense to be there together. Even though he basically told me I was inconveniencing him with hotel costs since he was planning to spend his first night there with some random guy he was talking to there, and then then the next night with his friends that were coming.

Granted...I don't even share hotel rooms with friends when I travel. The last friend I ever shared a hotel room with was him last year. When I travel with my other friends we get our own rooms. I prefer to have my own space. My job has me spoiled with my own hotel rooms, and when I travel I just prefer to have my own room. Plus I'm a slut. I love to be able to have a guy over whenever I feel like it.

Both of us were financialy strapped, and had put off booking a room as long as possible. I had sent him a suggestion the day before I left, but he said not to book it now. He was going to look the next day. Well I was already in Cali the next day, and was starting to get anxious about not having my next hotel booked since I had to be out of my work hotel Monday.

After I woke up from my nap, I saw he'd texted me that he booked a room at a hotel by the airport. I was immediately annoyed, because I don't stay by the airport. Usually airports are so far from everything, and everything I wanted to do in LA was in the Hollywood/West Hollywood/Beverly Hills area.

Granted LA is so big, that the airport isn't even that far or inconvenient, since everything is far an inconvenient in LA. I was looking at a hotel in Koreatown, since the places I'd originally wanted in WeHo/Beverly Hills were too expensive/taken now.

So I was like whatever. I wanted to book my own room anyway since I wanted the Hotels.com/HIlton points that I'm trying to upgrade my status before the year is up. Plus when he said he booked a room already the message said "if you're interested". I interpreted that as I have the option to still book my own room.

I tried to call him for clarity, but we were on different times. So I just booked a room at the same hotel for 2 beds to be safe.

Then when he woke up he told me he'd gotten that room for his friends, and he could get us a different room at the same hotel for the same price. I told him I already booked us a room.

Then he asked the price. It was nearly $400 for 2 nights, but the double bed room was more expensive than had I just reserved a single bed room.

Then he got pissed at me because I had already booked the room and it was more expensive than whatever random site he was using. I didn't want to use the site he was using, because I'm already loyal to Hotels.com, and also it's sketchy. It like shows you pictures of a room based on how much you're willing to spend, and you pick the one that looks best, and then it tells you the details of the hotel afterwards. WTF.

Also I wanted the room in my name since I'm already in Cali and would most likely be at the hotel before him anyway. I want to be able to just get there and check in, and not have to wait for someone else to get in my room. So that's easier if it's just in my name anyway.

Then he was pissed because he didn't want to pay more to stay at the same hotel where he could get a cheaper rate, and I wasn't willing to cancel because I already booked/paid for it, and I wanted my points to upgrade my status before the year is up.

Then he got booked that I booked something else when he booked something, but he'd already told me he just booked that for his friends earlier. Then I explain that I wanted to book something ASAP since I'm already in Cali and prices are going up each day we don't have something booked. Plus he booked something at a hotel without even asking me first. I was going along to get along, by just going for the same hotel, since there were cheaper hotels in other parts of LA.

Then he said I was "acting like a bitch, but what else would he expect" for saying the "if you're interested" leaves the door open for me to book my own room. Which is my preference. Then he says "girl fuck you" to me after I say I'm not being a bitch since I went with whatever hotel he picked to book a room.

I said "if I was acting like a bitch than I would've booked the cheaper room with one bed" but instead I paid extra to make sure there were 2 beds for both of us.

Then the next morning he texts me with a fake ass apology saying he was half asleep, and was mad because he thought I'd booked a room at a different hotel in another part of LA.

WTF. You clearly complained about the price of the room I booked at the same hotel you already booked a room.

He apologized for calling me a bitch, and then quoted neNe "well I said acting like a bitch".

I sent him a meme of Molly from Insecure looking annoyed. He then doubled down on being half asleep and claimed he reread the messages. Hence his apology.

WTF. You were mad about the price. It was very explicitly clear that I had booked a room at the same hotel, and also calling me a bitch and saying "fuck you" to me was a ridiculous response for this trivial situation.

So I was annoyed his apology didn't even match what was said. Like don't say you misinterpreted what I said, when you very clearly were upset about having to spend more money at the same hotel. I don't like bullshit apologies. Honestly I don't like apologies in general. I'm a Scorpio. I'm not going to forgive you regardless, so I'd rather you just not fuck up in the first place.

So then I say that he wasn't arguing about me booking at a differnt hotel, and he was mad about me booking a more expensive price at the same hotel. Granted I don't even know if he made sure to make sure he was booking rooms with multiple beds, or just going for the cheapest price, which would've been a room with one bed. I only think he apologized because of realizing he may not have booked a room with 2 beds, and had just gone for the cheaper price.

I didn't even want to keep this argument going. But I also wasn't accepting an apology that wasn't real. Like apologize for what happened, not make up some bullshit when the texts clearly say otherwise. He kept trying to say he was sleepy and thought I booked somewhere else on the other side of LA, when the words he texted me never mentioned any of that. No one is about to gaslight me into some bullshit.

Also don't tell me you "reread" the messages, yet what your saying was never mentioned in any of the messages. So I wasn't backing down, and he kept defending his lie. then he had the audacity to say all he's apologizing for is ccalling me a bitch, and then said if I think he's such a liar than we don't even gotta link".

That was the dealbreaker for me. We didn't talk for 2 weeks after that. That is some bullshit I don't play with. Like you're my best friend of 5 years, we haven't seen each other in 5 months, and we've talked about going to LA together for years. So you're going to just essentially abandon me in LA by myself, since he had his other friends he was traveling with coming, because he refuses to apologize for the bullshit he caused and the fucked up things he said to me.

I'm an only child, so I don't mind being on my own. I actually do better that way. Thankfully I had an amazing time in LA. Both nights I met local guys that showed me a great time. I had more fun in these 2 days in LA, than I had last year when I was in LA for 2 weeks.

I did everything I wanted to do in LA. I got the pics I wanted, and when sight seeing to see the places I'd not gotten to see. I went on dates, got dick, went bar hopping in WeHo, and even went to the dispensary. I had an incredible time in LA. Regardless of my BFF abandoning me.

But I still find it incredibly fucked up that he'd even be that childish to rather we both be in the same city at the same hotel but not speaking, because he refused to apologize for what he actually said to me.

Also that's such bum nigga shit to cause an argument to get out of paying for room. Granted I already paid for it, and got my wish of my own room with one bed, so I didn't care. But this is exactly why most gay friendships end due to trips. The broke friend causes all the problems, and then the friendship is over.

But I also am pissed because i knew this was a dumb argument from the beginning. I knew that. I was willing to move on, but I also wanted the apology to be genuine and not some made up bullshit. Even re-reading the texts now this whole thing is so stupid. Yet I'm not letting someone talk to me crazy, and then refuse to apologize for acting ridiculous.

He's an egotistical Leo, and I feel like after he moved to Florida and got his own friend group. he feels like he's Regina George now. In our friendship he was always the Nicole to my Paris. Guys have literally called him my "ugly friend" to his face. Now I never viewed him as my ugly friend. He has no problem getting niggas, but I was always the more social media famous of the 2 of us.

I feel like he's even more big headed thinking he's queen b now because he's "in charge of the girls" of his friendgroup. That ain't me, never been me, and I'm not afraid to be all by myself. I don't even do friend groups, because I am a selfish bitch and don't give a fuck when people hate me. I can't fake anything to get along with a group.

Which is why I fell out with my ex BFF of 16 years. His new friends didn't like me so he chose them over me. Once he had a huge 30th bday, and invited all of his friends from all over the country, but didn't invite or tell me about the party, when I had just taken him out to lunch for his bday the week before, then I was done. We're clearly not friends if you're not inviting me to your big milestone events you planned celebrating yourself, and then not even having the respect to tell me. I had to find out on social media. WTF. That's so childish, and high school. We're in our 30s. We weren't even doing fake shit like that in high school or our 20s. Yeah...I just saw the best option was to end the friendship.

Now with this. I didn't want to end the friendship. After 2 weeks of not talking I sent him the mughshot I found of Zimbabwe. He's the only person that I could talk to about Zimbabwe that would understand. I'd already given up on expecting my BFF to take accountability or genuinely apologize for what he really said. I was just ready to sweep it under the rug and move on. We'd already not spoken in 2 weeks, and we'd both been on multiple trips. We'd missed out on so much of each other's lives already, and LA has passed.

But he refused to move on. He said he's not ready to talk to me until we revisit our previous argument. WTF. It's been 2 full weeks...I don't even care anymore.

Then I say "I'm not sure what's left to revisit. You started unnecessary drama, refused to apologize for what you actually said, and then didn't want t hangout with each other in LA and we didn't...

Then he says "yeah I'm cool on you. So I was petty and responded with "k" and then blocked him everywhere.

I'm over it. LIke I'm not waiting for a 30 year old man to decide when he's ready to be my friend again, when this drama was caused by him.

I was rude and inconsiderate. I knew his financial limitations, and didn't care because I wanted to book my own room for my own benefits.

Still I don't think that warranted being called a "bitch" or having him say "fuck you" to me, on top of saying he didn't even want to see each other while in LA. That's the part that really pissed me off, because I would've never said that to my best friend. Like petty drama over money isn't going to make me want to not see you while we're in the same fucking city and haven't seen each other in 5 months. Then being in the same hotel at the same time, and not speaking. Like we both still had each other's locations and were in the same fucking hotel at the same time.

It's so stupid and petty, and we both decided to escalate the drama instead of neutralizing it. Well I feel like I tried to neutralize it. I said early on that I don't want to dwell on this drama, but I'd rather if he's going to apologize to apologize for what he actually said.

I hate liars more than anything. You're not going to lie and say you're mad over a reason which literally had nothing to do with anything you said the night before. Read the fucking texts. The whole convo was in text. Right there. You're clearly mad because you didn't want to pay more when you could pay less. Don't make up some bullshit saying you thought I booked somewhere else, and then keep doubling down on the lie.

He is being a Lying Leo. That's a fact. He's clearly lying. It's there in print. That gaslighting me bullshit is what really set me off. Like all you had to do was apologize for the truth, instead of continuing to perpetuate a lie. Then this could've all been avoided.

Then we're not getting that time in LA back. it's not like we can just go fly across the country again next week. Like to miss out on that time together that we aren't going to get back, over this dumb shit also really pisses me off. Like I would've never said I don't want to see you while in LA. Especially not over this dumb shit.

Then the fact that weeks have gone by, and I'm sending you messages and want to move on and talk like normal, and he's continuing to want to stay in this negative space and keep having the same damn argument.

Like you're still not telling the truth or taking accountability. Then on top of that LA is gone. We didn't see or speak to each other, despite being in the same hotel in the same city. There's no point still arguing over a trip that not only passed, but we both had other trips since then. Like it's the past.

All I wanted was to have my best friend back to gossip about more dead gays in Atlanta, and to talk about my ex that's been in jail for months.

Instead he wants to keep having this same dumb argument, and i'm over it. Again. I refuse to wait for a 30 year old man to decide when he wants to be my friend again. Especially when he's mad about the drama he started.

I don't give a fuck how mad you are...don't disrespect me by calling me a "bitch" or saying "fuck you" to me, and then saying you don't even want to see me while we're in the same city. I have blocked many gays for flaking on plans with me.

I don't think the disrespect I received was warranted with this petty drama, and then the fact you'd be fine just leaving me alone in LA because you knew you had other friends coming was fucked up. On top of refusing to move the fuck on when weeks have passed.

Yeah. Friendship over. This is so immature and stupid, but gays don't mature with age. Yet another of my closest gay friendships has died.

I'm also probably less motivated to salvage the friendship because I've been fucking this guy he really likes behind his back for months.

I really am a terrible friend. That's always been my biggest fear with gay friendships was having my friend fuck my man behind my back. 2 of my exes tried to fuck my BFF to get back at me, and he valued our friendship enough to resist.

Yet I was weak. Maybe not weak because it involved not temptation, as much as giving into dark urges to self sabotage. 2023 has been my year of chaos. Choosing chaos any chance I get. Blowing everything in my life up, and then finding order amongst the pieces.

I have no choice but to take accountability for my own actions in the demise the closest friendship I've had for the past 5 years. I'm still devastated things ended this way, or that I made the choices I made. I really thought he'd be my best man at my wedding...if that ever happens.

Yet that's the Scorpio way. We can't keep a friend...

#BFF #Best Friend #end of a friendship #ending a friendship #friend breakup #bad friend #toxic friendship #ex bff #ex freind #former friend #fake friend #toxic friend #toxic friends #gay #gay black #black gay men #gay men #gay blog #gay blogger

7 notes · View notes