#everything in me feels sick | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

formula-red · 1 year

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I tried to be good, am I no good? Am I no good? Am I no good?

untitled, Geloy Concepcion // Seventeen Going Under, Sam Fender // untitled, traumatizeddfox // Two People, Sam Fender // The War of Vaslav Nijinsky, Frank Bidart // Hard Times, Ethel Cain // Child Wearing a Red Scarf, Eduoard Vuillard // Complex, Katie Gregson Macleod // Funeral by Phoebe Bridgers, malaak // Too Much Wine, The Handsome Family // untitled, milklump // untitled, dying-weeds // Strangers, Ethel Cain

#sorry to all my f1 people #i'm really going through something rn and had to do something to get it out #been a very tough few days a lot of things being brought back up that i really cant deal with #everything in me feels sick #delete l8r #cw family issues #cw trauma #cw abuse #ethel cain #tw abuse #sam fender #traumacore #trauma #childhood trauma #family issues #dad issues #narcissist parents #web weaving #web weave

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ursamajori · 1 year

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god i love being SOOO obnoxious about my ocs everyone should be 50% more obnoxious about their ocs right neow

#starspeak #get obnoxious (oc tag)#ttrpgs #my campaigns #edit: everything after these tags are from the og post— they’re just kinda me ranting but i don’t wanna get rid of them #due to the fact that it adds how fucking funny it is that this post got popular and it was just. me rambeling #anyways.#->#literally guy who gave their character a whole birthday week and is celebrating him that whole week #like girl he’s fake……..just kidding cas is real To Me #this is fully positive there is NO self deprecation here i’m being dead serious #also i’m celebrating all week to hide the fact that this is the busiest week of the year at my work #and i’m already sick so it’s gonna be downhill from here 🥲#casboy’s gotta get me through it ok #not Sick sick i just don’t feel well. at least tmrw is my day off i probably need Rest #oops didn’t mean to rant a bit here but oh well. happy birthday week cas

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taojave · 3 days

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My wife

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #falin touden #falin #digital art #shes my everything she makes me feel sick #dugeon meshi spoilers #dungeon meshi fanart

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pocketgalaxies · 1 month

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We want to destroy my mother. (insp by @dadrielle)

#critical role #criticalroleedit #imogen temult #liliana temult #laura bailey #matthew mercer #gifs #*#*cr #cr3 #cr spoilers #angst tag #cr meta #nova shh #scheduled #3h12m c3e88 #18m c3e12 #3h17m c3e42 #3h42m c3e51 #4h20m c3e51 #1h35m c3e49 #i think this gifset might be a little bit unfair to liliana from a third party perspective but #i think it's Very Real for imogen. to feel like she reached out so many times and the loyalty there was so fucking flimsy #barely there to begin with and then gone in an instant as everything turned to red mist #thinking about how laura on 4sd a while ago said imogen is so fucking sick of it she's sick of having that hope #her reality is that her mother no longer has any loyalty to her and the pain of thinking she does isn't worth it anymore #:((((#'help me.' 'this is for the best.' breaks my H E A R T :(((((((((#and matt's fucking Smile afterward. speaks a thousand words #thanks rj for the discord message that kicked this off!!!

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yesmissnyx · 2 months

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An Unsexy Post About Censorship

Sooo...gumroad is shutting down NSFW content sales because of Stripe and Paypal. This is also why Wishtender has been down as well, if you weren't aware. And why Patreon is also cracking down on anything remotely kinky.

(If you're wondering why your favorite FICTIONAL sexual content isn't allowed on most platforms, it's payment processors.)

Please be extra kind to anyone who works with NSFW content right now, whether it be art, writing, audio, photos or video. Whether it be tasteful erotica, or the kinkiest BDSM porn you can think of, we're all in the crosshairs right now.

And, judging by trends from these past few years, this is only going to get worse.

Support NSFW creators where you can, whether by tipping or buying our content (where you still can) or just helping boost content on sites where algorithms want to drown us out.

Call representatives where you can and complain about payment processors acting as arbiters of what YOU are and aren't allowed to pay for and enjoy.

This may be about porn right now, but censorship of this caliber doesn't just stop with porn. Any transgressive (read: non-conservative) media is fair game.

Fight against it where you can. Support creators where you can.

Art is important. Reflections of our sexuality are important. We don't want a world where people aren't free to make or see the things they love and enjoy.

#nyxrambles #Warning: I'm going to get kind of grim in the tags so peace out of you have to.#This bums me out so fucking hard!#I have artist friends who are struggling because their content suddenly goes against these stupid fucking guidelines!#I'm going to have to take my stuff off of Gumroad even though it was previously allowed!#It's hard to not feel like everything is just spiraling toward fascism sometimes yanno?#I am usually opposed to slippery slope arguments but the goal of moral conservativism is to destroy everything that isn't in line with it.#They will not stop until the world reflects their narrow ideals. Like...that's the whole point of it!#Sorry guys I'm just having a rough one.#Between this and being sick for months I'm getting pretty fucking Done.#I'll be okay but I'm not going to pretend it isn't hard and scary.

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timothylawrence · 6 months

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if anything i find it even more tragic that Wyll doesn't get that resolution that you can find with some of the other characters. Sure, you can break him out of his pact with Mizora, but he... never understands that he was a victim of both his Mizora's manipulation and his father's neglect.

He was still a very much neglected seventeen year old boy who was cast out by the one person he idolized and the only family he ever had.

The tav never gets a moment to go 'hey your dad is actually a piece of shit' nor 'hey your dad also neglected you your whole life' that actually has a whole impact on him. Wyll spends the whole game mentioning numerous occasions where his father would scold him for being a child. he mentions having to repeat balduran's pledge every single day by his father's request. Ulder even admits to drifting from Wyll from the day he was born.

Yet Wyll idolized him and saw him as if he was the very sun because he had no one else. He puts his own father on a pedestal and doesn't even entertain the idea that maybe his father isnt as great as he sees him to be. he doesn't get a moment where he can realize that he is worthy and great without needing to be the blade of avernus/frontiers nor as the archduke's son.... he can just be Wyll and that's enough- even if it wasn't enough for Ulder.

It's a tragedy that, whether due to Larian's mistreatment to his character or crunch, that Wyll doesn't get to see his father as someone who hurt him too.

#ewbie.txt #sorry i have so many thoughts abt him it makes me feel sick :thumbs up emoji:#bg3 #wyll #EVERYTHING I DID I DID FOR BALDURS GATE.... I DID FOR /YOU/#<- top five lines that altered my brain chemistry

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tamarrud · 4 months

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You know what's funny about this? Not only is it in reference to a post I made about Zionists who try to get to me... anonymously but also the fact that literally two messages before this I was accused of being hateful.

So let me repeat, there's nothing that screams hate more than Zionists and their rhetoric.

They say shit like this while they literally have the means to act on it given their entire culture is built on this type of violence, yet when they get cornered have the nerve to turn around and say "but Palestinians are hateful and want us all dead!"

I know for a fact the iof that pointed their rifles at me wanted to finish the job every time. And while I somehow survived, countless other Palestinians didn't. I know for a fact that had the iof finished the job, they would have rejoiced over my dead body like they do to all the Palestinians who do end up getting murdered. Had the iof finished the job with me, my body would probably still be in detention and not released to my family, similar to what is done to the many Palestinians who the iof kills whose families don't get to give them proper burial.

Zionists are sadistic and vile, and this is a quick reminder in case anyone was still on the fence about it.

#I also want to note that while I am not affected by messages like this #doesn't mean you shouldn't #I might have grown... what's the word? numb? idk #but that's because of my own personal experiences and also my own personality and everything in between #it's more than fair to get sick to your stomach and feel enraged even #so yea just don't use me as an example lol

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realbeefman · 7 months

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stacy is sooo interesting because she's in love with house but knows that they will never ever be able to have a healthy, stable, sane relationship because they're too similar so. she finds house-lite instead and marries him and. essentially moves on with her life! and is successful in this because she's a moderately well-adjusted person!

wilson, in contrast, never manages to escape the inevitable, in spite of his best efforts to find a house-lite of his very own, because he's an absolute fucking freak and ends up glued to house to the bitter. bitter end

#yeah im too sleepy to revise this. UNFILTERED posting wooahh #some may b shocked but i do actually read thru most of my posts several times to make sure i didnt accidentally write mein kampfe 2 #recently ive come to the realization that i am in fact not an incredibly chill person #and that the constant paranoia and fear in which i live my life is actually PROBABLY a symptom of severe anxiety #like damn. ive always known that im pretty prone to depression but ive preetty much always been aware of that #my mom is a chronic depressive so i know the symptoms i know the signs i have a pretty good arsenal of healthy coping mechanisms #UNFORTUNATELY mommy's mental health problems did not help her not abuse me as a child #so i ended up being a terribly anxious kid who was constantly being screamed at and told i was overreacting (because i was. because i had #a severe anxiety problem that was making me react irrationally.) to everything all the time #which is you know. it is VERY difficult to deal with a mental health problem when you arent aware you have a problem!#its incredible how much. better. my life has gotten since i figured this out and started actively trying to work out what triggers it #and being able to like. realize 'oookay. there is an Issue here and it needs to be overcome'#instead of just beating on myself constantly for not being able to do things without feeling sick or getting breathing problems!#anyways. trauma dumping in tags is over now!#house md #hilson #greg house #james wilson #stacy warner

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peachfruitcake · 2 months

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not really here anymore

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skyenish · 1 month

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Leona’s fun to draw, and I’m happy with how this turned out!

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carolperkinsexgirlfriend · 2 months

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Steddie Upside-Down AU Part 96

Part 1 Part 95

Mom makes him go home when he starts dosing on Steve’s hospital bed. But it’s okay because she kisses Steve’s cheek before she leaves, and Eddie and Wayne stay parked by his side.

The connection’s easier now. It’s like all that time straining for Steve has snapped something into place. He can feel them all the time, a warm buzzing in his chest. He wonders if he runs hot now. If the warmth will diffuse through his whole being, make coats obsolete even in the dead of winter.

Hopper is waiting for them in the waiting room, El burrowed into his side. She looks wan, and tired, drooping into her extravagant coat, eyeliner running down her cheeks like she’s been crying. Something inside him twists when he looks at her.

Before he can untangle that knot of emotion, Hopper stands up, both hands slapping against his knees first the same way Mike’s dad does before he gets up from his recliner. “You ready to go?” he asks, not looking away from Mom.

When Will glances up, Mom’s smiling up at Hopper in a way he doesn’t want to think about. The adults talk quietly in front, leaving El to stumble tiredly along beside Will. She’s staring at the side of his face. Will can’t bring himself to look back.

“Steve,” she says, sounding the word out and making it longer like it still tastes foreign on her tongue. “He is okay?”

When Will gets up the courage to look over, her eyes are big and worried. He smiles at her helplessly. It’s almost funny how innocent she looks; like she’s a bunny dressed up in punk clothes. “He’ll be okay.”

She smiles, small and close lipped, but it still beams out of her like the sun. Will tilts his head to the side and tries to see what Mike sees in her. He wants to hide her in Castle Byers, build a fortress around her, and keep her away from all the lab people for the rest of her life.

Is that howMike felt, hiding her in his basement, giving her frozen eggos and keeping his mouth shut?

But then her lips thin and she looks forward again. The feelings vanishes. It’s just El, hia friend, despite how much of Mike’s attention she’d snapped up just by being herself.

“I’m glad,” she says, looking at Hopper’s broad back as she takes two steps for each one of his.

It’s quiet after that, the way it always is after; all of them too brittle and bruised and bone-deep tired for conversation.

Hopper’s truck rat-a tat-tats itself to life in the hospital parking lot. The radio croons out something quiet and thrumming until Hopper reaches over to shut it off.

El’s heads smushed into the window, vibrating against the pot-holed roads of Hawkins.

Will’s so tired he’s wide awake.

He watches the familiar buildings of Hawkins flicker by. It's been a long time since knowing his surroundings brought any comfort.

Monsters could live behind every door, every tree, every smiling face.

He’s not sure any of them will ever feel safe again.

Will closes his eyes, locking the scenery out so he can focus on the bundle of warmth in his chest. They’re still huddled together, two sparks merging in his chest.

The past couple days have been a necessary violation of Eddie’s private feelings. He’d bared them all with love confessions and grasping hands, trying to pull Steve back from the edge of immolation.

He’s not even sure Steve knows, hopes he does. Steve deserves to hold that love delicately between his palms and choose what to do with it.

He won’t crush it, even if it’s unreturned. He’ll hold it gently like he always does.

Will doesn’t realize he fell asleep, or that they’d arrived home until he’s in free-fall. It feels like one of those falling dreams where you wake up solidly in the middle of your bed, but this time he really is tumbling, only Jonathan’s arms keeping him from hitting the gravel.

“Are you okay?” he asks shakily as he pulls Will into his chest, holding him tight enough to hurt. “I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, sweetie,” Mom murmurs, wrapping them both up in her arms, chin landing solidly on Jonathan’s shoulder, sandwiching Will between their bodies. “Everyone’s fine, right Will?”

Will murmurs his affirmation, feeling groggy and confused in the light of day.

“I was with Nancy,” Jonathan whispers. “I was just with Nancy, and you were–I almost–”

“Shh,” Mom cuts him off, reaching up to cradle his face and smile up at him. Will barely catches the edge of his watering eyes from his restricted vantage point between them. “Everyone’s fine.”

“I should have been he–”

“Jonathan,” Mom interrupts again, sharper this time. “Everyone is fine. You deserve a normal life.”

“But Will–”

“I’m fine!” Will cuts in this time.

Jonathan pulls back, looking down at him with worried, droopy eyes. “And Steve? Mike said he was possessed.”

Will feels that bundle of warmth in his heart, lets it shine through his smile as he looks up at his brother. “He’ll be okay.” As Jonathan droops with relief, Will feels his smile turn cheeky. “Eddie will never let you forget that you were on a date while we were fighting monsters, though.”

Jonathan closes his eyes, pained while Mom laughs.

It’s not until they’re walking toward the front door that Will notices the lack of demo-dog bodies. There’s still puddles of black oil-slick blood, but everything else looks normal. Who covered their tracks? The lab? Hopper?

He settles down for the debrief, pillowing his head on Jonathan’s shoulder as Hopper’s even tones flit through his brain.

Maybe familiar places no longer hold any comfort, but Jonathan’s bony frame is enough to lull him into a peaceful sleep.

Part 97

Taglist: @deany-baby @estrellami-1 @altocumulustranslucidus @evillittleguy @carlprocastinator1000 @hallucinatedjosten @goodolefashionedloverboi @newtstabber @lunabyrd @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @manda-panda-monium @disrespectedgoatman @finntheehumaneater @ive-been-bamboozled @harringrieve @grimmfitzz @is-emily-real @dontstealmycake @angeldreamsoffanfic @a-couchpotato @5ammi90 @mac-attack19 @genderless-spoon @kas-eddie-munson @louismeds @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @pansexuality-activated @ellietheasexylibrarian @nebulainajar @mightbeasleep @neonfruitbowl @beth--b @silenzioperso @best-selling-show @v3lv3tf0x @bookworm0690 @paintsplatteredandimperfect @wonderland-girl143-blog @nerdsconquerall @sharingisntkaren @canmargesimpson @bananahoneycomb @rainwaterapothecary @practicallybegging

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #will byers #steddie upsidedown au #my fic #Steve pov: I'm a wretch and a monster and everything is my fault #will pov: steve's so comforting :)#also Jonathan freaking out because he missed everything is something that is so fun to me. He's like. I'm a terrible brother!#Meanwhile Nancy only has low stakes in the whole thing. And she never got involved so by the time she knew to worry about Mike.#She already knew he was fine. so her main reaction is feeling left out.#Nancy is so fun in this AU because her inciting character incident (Barb's death) shapes so much of who she is #that we have like maybe one episode of characterization to work off of wrt what she was like before #anyway I'm sick so we'll see how much writing I can actually get done while feverish!

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ambeauty · 5 months

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“And what if I just like completely melt… fuck up and fail?”

“I won’t let you.”

Do you know how incredibly endearing it is for Carmen to say that he won’t let Sydney fail? That he will be her strength when she feels weak?!?! That he will help carry her burdens. That he will be what she needs in order to succeed. This declaration of unwavering support is so important for Sydney who has put everything she has into The Bear.

On top of that, the way he’s looking down at her as he says “I won’t let you.” And she’s looking away from him and he’s staring at her with the most OBVIOUS look of longing I have ever seen in my life. And his face doesn’t change once she finally looks at him and he nods his head no, as a promise.

And I think this is my favorite moment from that conversation. At least as it stands today. I’m a real sap for someone taking burdens from another. In that moment, Carmy is promising to love Sydney in her love language. He’s promising to take care of her like how she takes care of others. 🥹

#and then he fails at that by getting locked in the fridge #and that’s why I think he’s the most frustrated in there because out of everything that’s gone wrong #letting Sydney down was the last thing he wanted to do #he was supposed to be there to make sure she didn’t fail #I feel sick #bury me with the under the table scene #making space in my coffin #I was forever changed #sydcarmy #carmy x sydney #platonic and messy #charged and sexy #sydney adamu #carmy berzatto #secret third thing

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kazumahashimoto · 1 month

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you're colder than i remember

#that's right everybody xander's drawing zack angeal hug again #this time with lazard!!!!!#like man. Man. you've already been seeing your mentor's cold dead face on all these monsters and then his corpse starts walking around #talking about how he's been trying to find you and how he used to crave revenge but now he just wants to protect you #because literally to the core of who angeal is he loves zack. to the point that it bleeds into his clones. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!!#AND ZACK HAS TO WATCH EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM DIE. EVERY ANGEAL IS DESTINED TO ROT AT HIS FEET.#BECAUSE ANGEAL LOVES HIM. I FEEL SICK #did you let me die in your arms in the timeloop esque #GRRRAAAYUYUYHGHYUHHYYHH I HATE THEM!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T STAND THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they mean everything to me.#ff #ff7 #ffvii #zack fair #angeal hewley #zack #angeal #hh art #lazard deusericus #ALSO APPARENTLY LAZARD'S NAME MEANS GOD HELP HIM? DEAR CHRIST? HELLO?

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virgothozul · 7 months

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Ok. I have listened to the people. I have watched the thing. It is very wholesome.

Kazu comes home. He is hopeless and tipsy. And he swings between excited and wasted.

#I am SICK of Miri’s voice ngl #I know kids are loud. And make a mess of EVERYthing. That’s why i stay away.#But for Kazurei ; I made it to the end #They are precious #Rei is so cute I love this guy #He has 0 human skill and still is effortlessly hilarious and a little cutie 👏💖#i wish we had more of their relationship bc they have sth really special #They never question their trust in each other like it never crosses their mind. They disagree almost all the time but they never part #It’s more natural than breathing. They’re always saying stuff like « it’s not fit to involve other people in our way of life »#it’s not even an option to live apart. They clearly will spend all their lives together #Except that scene it’s so weird when Kazu says « hum with Miri gone we don’t have a reason to live together anymore » lol man #Not as if you guys were already joined at the hip before meeting her. But I get the «the family life changed us now sth’s missing #and it feels incomplete ». But still guys. You are soul mates.#Also the « of course he comes with me. He’s my partner. » line 💕💍#even if at some point they meant to part ways ; really they can’t be separated.#kazurei #No homo daddies #Buddy daddies #kazuki x rei #Domestic gays

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riverswater · 9 months

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#I cannot describe what this song does to me #There's nothing more painful and personal than this. I feel sick every time. It's too much.#Hozier #m #''we didn't get it right but love we did our best'' we truly did. We gave it everything. And it didn't work. Things end. That's what they do

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sanjiswetcigarettes0 · 15 days

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Listening to old Brazilian love songs makes me think of zolu so much i am smiling so big rn. I want what they have.

They make me imagine them slowly dancing to one of those beautiful old salsa songs where they gently hold hands and move their bodies so slow, that they sweated terribly but still want to enjoy the warm sunny evening with the chilly breeze of the entire seas they sailed alone together while they hold and look at each other with endless love and big grins. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH AND I AM CRAZY OVER THEM.

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