#also i’m celebrating all week to hide the fact that this is the busiest week of the year at my work

[ursamajori]

god i love being SOOO obnoxious about my ocs everyone should be 50% more obnoxious about their ocs right neow

#starspeak #get obnoxious (oc tag) #ttrpgs #my campaigns #edit: everything after these tags are from the og post— they’re just kinda me ranting but i don’t wanna get rid of them #due to the fact that it adds how fucking funny it is that this post got popular and it was just. me rambeling #anyways. #-> #literally guy who gave their character a whole birthday week and is celebrating him that whole week #like girl he’s fake……..just kidding cas is real To Me #this is fully positive there is NO self deprecation here i’m being dead serious #also i’m celebrating all week to hide the fact that this is the busiest week of the year at my work #and i’m already sick so it’s gonna be downhill from here 🥲 #casboy’s gotta get me through it ok #not Sick sick i just don’t feel well. at least tmrw is my day off i probably need Rest #oops didn’t mean to rant a bit here but oh well. happy birthday week cas

[wickedsrest-rp-archive]

New Year’s Mischief || Group Chatzy

Timing: New Year’s Eve Night Summary: Don’t trust balloons or mimes or hanyo Warnings: Sauce

The Common was alit. There was no evidence of the chaos that had befallen the Christmas market not that long ago, although a fire engine and ambulance are parked nearby. Instead, stalls were lit up in every colour imaginable, offering hot meals and hot drinks, even the occasional alcoholic drink. Sparklers and popping toys were being sold alongside glow sticks and neon jewellery. There was even a stall run by mimes which charged you three dollars to stick your hand into a strange box which may contain prizes. This was particularly popular. Further on, there were a couple men in plain brown suits at a stall with mysterious stains on it. The men were making the most incredible balloon sculptures, more detailed than any balloon sculpture had any right to be. Beside them was a sign that read “WARNING: DO NOT POP BALLOONS”. Aunt Jolene, however, who ran the brownie stall, claimed she’d popped hers and found a check for a thousand dollars in hers. It was a beautiful, lively evening, ready to ring in the new year, as if the black ocean, eye sun, sandman and all else could be left in this one. 

 Nora insisted that her and Remmy had to be the first at the Mime event. Remmy may have told Nora that it wasn't a complete mime event, but Nora wasn't hearing any of it. If anyone was going to watch the silent ball drop, it was going to be Nora. As they approached the commons, Nora was craning her neck wondering if Marie-Jeanne was going to grace them with her presence. Nora was a big fan of her. 

 Dakota had heard about what was happening at The Common through a few people at work—excited chatter between coworkers grabbing a cup of stale coffee before returning to their desks, or their offices, or their labs. Originally, she hadn’t been planning on showing up because New Year’s Eve happened to be the busiest night of year for most people at the precinct. For Dakota, the disasters usually followed a few days after, because that’s when you found the bodies. But tonight she was feeling more adventurous than she’d had in weeks—mainly due to the fact that she was bored, but she had also never been to The Common, why not check it out? So, she showed up. There was a bit of commotion concerning someone popping a balloon and finding money, but she decided to spend a bit of cash and grab a cup of hot chocolate and watch the events unfold, much like a wallflower would do. 

 Ally debated the whole day as to whether to or not she would be in attendance at the ball drop. She could’ve sat in the office all night, waiting for the calls that would inevitably come in the closer that they got to midnight, or she could get dressed up and be on call at the party. Every time she decided she wasn’t going and took off her dress she remembered what Christmas alone felt like, and she sure as hell didn’t want that again. So eventually she got herself into her car and drove to The Common. Best case scenario, she made a new friend, worst case scenario she wasted a few hours. When she arrived she walked around, looking at all the activities and nervously staying far away from the mimes, especially after what Regan had told her.

 After the kitchen incident with Nadia, Arthur really hadn't been planning to leave the house. But it was New Year's Eve, and whenever the mimes were out in force he couldn't entirely control the morbid curiosity to witness them. The issue he had presently was trying to get his wallet out to pay for a hot chocolate with one arm presently held in a sling and cast. "Ah shoot" he muttered as he dropped the wallet on the floor crouching down to grab it and glancing over to a lady who was also stood nearby. "Sorry- Could- Would you mind helping me?"

 Being first to the ball drop hadn’t been important to Remmy, but it was to Nora, and so they’d donned their nicest clothes that weren’t packed, and had headed out before the sun was even beginning to set with Nora. They noticed her looking around for someone and raised a brow. “Who are you looking for?” they asked, casting a glance around as well, seeing if they could spot anyone they recognized as well. Wondered if Luce might show, wondered if they’d want to see her, even. They rubbed the back of their head as they walked along. “What do you wanna do first? Looks like there’s some sort of carnival game stuff. Wanna check that out?

 This was the last place Kaden wanted to be. Ringing in the New Years surrounded by goddamn mimes. He was going to be at home with his dog and some wine and cheese. It was going to be simple. But no. Nor was going to steal a fucking ball from the ball drop. And he had a feeling he had to be there to either stop her or help her. He wasn’t sure which right now. Either way, he had a flask on hand. He didn’t know what he needed but he knew he needed that. When he saw Nora he waved. She could call the shots. And she was hanging out with that other hunter, Remmy. Interesting. “Hey,” he said with a nod.

 "Marie-Jeanne." Nora answered without explanation. Nora cracked her neck. It hurt after so much craning. "I gotta go steal the ball before it drops. Will you be good?" Nora asked. Nora wasn't sure Remmy would want to help. Nora had met them whilst they were working security and the conversation about thieving public displays of new year bringing. Just then Kaden showed up. "Good." Nora gave him an approving nod. She thought he'd be too chicken to show up. "Step one. Don't get seen by any mimes. Step two. Steal the ball. Got it?"

 Never having been very good at dealing with the unknown, the moment Solomon learned that they were warned to not pop the balloons, the ache to rip them all to bits was almost overwhelming. He was perched on a bench, his attention flicking between that stall and the one with the mimes and mystery box, trying to decide which one would be more satisfying to wreck. The fact that he was surrounded by people, something that would normally make him extremely antsy, was completely overshadowed by the need to reveal whatever those men in the suits were hiding. In what he thought was a sly manner (but probably wasn’t), Solomon sidled his way toward the balloon stand, still eyeballing the creations as they were whipped together at record speed and handed off to their buyers. As one of them passed hands from the artist to the commissioner, Solomon made a quick gesture with one hand, sending a couple thorns hurtling from his fingertips and bursting the thing right in the woman’s face. The delighted laugh was barely muffled as he relished the loud sound (which had been unexpected) and sudden burst of glittery bits of... whatever it was that exploded in her face. Which of course drew attention to him, so he quickly turned tail and slipped off to find more people with those balloons.

 “Steal the...ball?” Remmy asked, blinking. They looked around again, when a familiar voice piped in. It was Kaden, the guy from the cooking class that Remmy was pretty sure was another zombie. They wondered if Morgan knew him, hadn’t she mentioned him once? They smiled, waving back. “Hey-- oh,” glanced over at Nora again. “Uh, yeah, I’ll be good. Just try not to get into too much tro--” they paused, snapped their jaw shut, “never mind. Just don’t get yourself hurt, okay?” they said, sighing and shaking their head. But they were smiling. 

 Connor wasn't sure how long he was going to stay, mostly for the sake of his new companion, Nico. So far she'd seemed to be a well-adjusted and friendly dog, but he didn't want to put her in a situation that would be overwhelming, so was more than ready to head home early and have a quiet night instead. “Come on, girl,” he said, scratching behind her ear as they walked. So far, so good. He headed over to the common, looking around for someone he might recognize. 

 The celebration of the coming year was a strange, but pleasant thing. Kevin couldn’t quite recall the last year she had seen come and go. Glamor in place, she wandered about, making her way over to the stand with the mystery box. Such an enchanting idea… even if the people running it were clearly abominations. She was never one to leave much to chance, but there was a certain appeal to the surprise. Still, this was for the people of White Crest to enjoy, she was content to simply observe… at least for the moment. 

 “This is Hell. I’m dead - for real this time - and I’ve gone to Hell.” Mercy had a very deep hatred for mimes. Not humans playing at being mimes, but Mimes. Of the White Crest variety. The kind that had shot her and tried - see: very nearly succeeded - in murdering Arthur. Not to mention a slew of others. So while she waited on Arthur to come back from the hot chocolate line - Mercy had opted for beer, which she sipped thoughtfully from her perch on the back of one of the Common’s benches - she took in her surroundings, noting all the strangeness (both normal and suspicious in nature) and thinking that maybe the four knives and her pistol (for which she was properly permitted thanks much) that she currently had hidden on her person might not be enough if shit went sour. Which there was a fifty-fifty chance of. The sharp pop of a balloon caught her attention, and her gaze cut across the crowd, locking on an unfamiliar face that was quickly exiting the scene. “I’d be careful popping those,” Mercy said, hopping off her bench as the stranger passed by. “Some of them might not be so… sparkly.” 

 Savannah would have happily been at home with a bottle of wine, but she was trying, perhaps in vain, to be a little more social. Every time she went out into the world, something unexpected seemed to happen, and not all of them were welcomed. Still, anything this event and its mimes could offer had to be better than ringing in the New Year alone, right? She spotted a few people she knew, but opted to quietly observe for a while. 

 Kaden sighed deeply before bringing the flask to his lips and taking a swig. He held it out in case Nora or Remmy wanted any, too. “Lead the way.” This was a mistake. “You want to help? I feel like this is a terrible idea and could probably use more hands,” he asked Remmy. 

 If only Marley could’ve used the excuse of working the party to come, but as it were, she wasn’t allowed in the field anyway, but she sure as hell wanted to show up to what would likely be a disastrous event. If only for the free food. People around here either loved mimes or hated them, and with hate often came fear. Donning her glasses, she strolled into the Common with hands tucked in pockets, glancing around to see who else was going to show up to this place. Kept to the fringes of the crowd for now, spotting Kaden with two others, including that nuisance bugbear who kept bothering all the cops at the precinct. Solano was on the other side, idling around as awkwardly as Marley, as if trying to blend in, and over at one of the drink stations was Dakota. Marley made a mental note to stay far away from there for now. Maybe after a few shots of tequila she’d gather up enough courage to go over to her. 

 Remmy looked at the flask Kaden was holding out to them, then up to his face as he asked if they wanted to help. “Oh, uh-- n-no, that’s okay. I’ll just...I mean i guess I could keep an eye out to make sure ya’ll are good, but I’d rather not.” 

 All at once, there was a screech of violins. The college band fell silent as the mime band began to play real music, despite the apparent lack of real instruments. Even more unnervingly, the mime lead singer's lips did not move, but they sang with the exact vocal cords of the college band singer, who was clutching at his throat in distress.

 Dakota hadn’t really been paying much attention to the guy with his arm in a sling—at least not until he dropped the damned thing and she was the closest person who could help in the least bit. “Shit, yeah,” she said. Dakota did sort of feel bad for him, crouching down like that, so she kneeled and grabbed his wallet, handing it back to him. “The hell happened to you arm?”

 Nora took a large swig of the flask then grabbed Kaden by the arm to pull him behind a stall. Reaching into her coat she pulled out two berets and some face paint. "We need to get in disguise. Paint up." Nora started applying copious amounts of white face paint onto her already pale face. In retrospect, she should have brought a hand mirror. Oh well, much like this year, hindsight was 2020.

 Slowing his roll as he heard someone speaking to him, Solomon whipped around to look at the woman, offering his best innocent shrug. “I don’t know what you meeeaan!” he lied, snickering all the while. “What else could they possibly stuff in there, bees?” There was a pause, and he raised his eyebrows. “Actually, that wouldn’t be a bad idea. Bad for the bees, though. I gotta free them!” He sucked in an unusually energetic breath, ready to take off again in pursuit of another target, but rattled to a stop before he’d even gotten started. “... Aren!” He waved both arms when he spotted his friend just a short distance off, beckoning him over. “Aren, come help me rescue some bees!”

 Connor spotted the person with who had the giant fluffy dog that he'd seen at Nell's party, although no dog in tow this time. "Hey," he greeted. "Nice to see you again." The strange noise brought his attention over to the stage and he cocked his head curiously. "Oh. That's... normal."

 Ally heard the screech of violins and spun around to look at the band. When she heard the sound coming from the mime band she scrunched her eyebrows trying to comprehend how sound was coming from the mimes. The stall nearest to her was selling drinks, and although alcohol certainly wasn’t going to explain what she just saw, she suddenly felt like she needed a drink. She downed it and leaned toward the person nearest to her, “Is this like a performance piece or something?” She whispered. 

 Savannah spotted Marley, but she didn't want to approach her given the last encounter they'd had. Probably better to talk in a one on one environment. She saw Kaden, and a couple of people from the station, one of whom she thought she remembered was called Alejandra. "A performance piece... that's one way of putting it," Savannah said, grateful she'd already grabbed a drink. "You're new here, right?" 

 As the woman handed back his wallet Arthur smiled awkwardly as he stood up, "thanks, sorry- I'm not normally this much of a clutz."  He took the wallet back, awkwardly trying to fish a couple of dollar bills out to pay the disgruntled looking hot chocolatier. "Oh this? I was involved in an accident-" not the total truth, but near enough all things considered. Taking the bills he finally handed them over. “Sorry again- thanks.” Catching a figure waving in his periphery Arthur grinned and waved back "Hey Sol- Bees? What bees?"

 Mercy tipped an eyebrow, unable to help her own amusement. “Bees would… be preferable actually,” she said. Before she could say anything else, he was going on about freeing said bees and Mercy was… thinking her night was getting just a little bit better. This could only end in glorious chaos. But it took a slightly unexpected turn when the stranger called to someone in the crowd… and used a name had never heard anyone else use. Not in a very, very long time. “You know, Arth- Aren?” Mercy said, grabbing one of the excited stranger’s flailing limbs. “There aren’t bees…” she told him. “No bees,” she said to Arthur as he approached. Mercy took a long sip of her beer. “Not yet at least.” 

 Was he drunk or did Nora just pull out fucking berets and facepaint? “No. I’m not doing that. You can’t make me. I’ll just put up my hood or something.” Kaden tugged it up and hoped that was enough. After being striped for about a week, there was no way in fucking hell he was putting on any more goddamn facepaint. “This way,” he said quietly as he led the past a few crowds of people and around some tables and decorations. They reached a group of “performers.” He sure as shit wasn’t going to work to blend in. He made a gesture that he’d just go around, but it was too late. One of the mimes grabbed his arm and then made a gesture, pulling their finger across their throat. Uhhh. He looked to Nora for help. 

 Ally nodded in agreement with what the woman next to her said. When she asked if she was new she turned toward her. “Right, yeah, I’ve seen you around the station. I’m Ally.” She said sticking her hand out. “Do they do this every year?”

 "Savannah," she introduced herself. "Yeah, I consult on cases there sometimes. I'm FBI." Apparently the White Crest Police Department was just a bunch of attractive women and one weird Sergeant. "I wouldn't know, this is my first time here. I only came to town a little over six months ago. Still long enough to no longer be surprised by these things." 

 “The bees in the balloons!” Solomon bleated over Mercy’s attempts to stifle him, though the wind did seem to get sucked out of his sails after another brief moment of consideration. “Fine… but I still want to see what’s in them. “Yeah, yeah, we met, uh… a long time ago. Y’know.” He gave her a shrug, beaming at Arthur as he approached. “I’m breaking stuff, d’you want to help?” He glanced at Mercy, giving her a quick once over. Any friend of Aren’s was a friend of his. “You too!”

 It was the fatal error of refusing to put makeup on that caused Kaden to get grabbed and noticed by the mimes. As the mimes made a slit throat gesture to Kaden, Nora, now a true mime, made the gesture of a tear rolling down her face. Deciding she'd better do her best to help her tall friend Nora decided to speak up for Kaden. The mime sequence was intended to say "I was chasing him, and he got away, then you caught him, and now I'll kick him out." In Nora's mind, she was convinced it looked brilliant. Truly she was a mime natural but to a person who could actually perceive Nora's actions, Nora looked like a flopping dead fish. Letting out an exasperated sigh, Nora summoned an illusioned mime bear to scare the mime and pull Kaden away in that moment of shock. Nora grabbed Kaden's arm and made a run for it. 

 Wandering over to his old friend Arthur's brow pinched in confusion as he looked over the crowd and realised what Solomon was referencing. Balloons. Oh right. "You're breaking stuff? That tracks..." his smile grew a tad devious as he glanced at Mercy and back to Solomon. "Do you need help with that?" As if to emphasise the point he glanced at the nearby balloon stand where a black balloon was in the process of being placed in the extended hands of a middle-aged woman. It didn't take too much focus to warm the air around it just enough to make it explode, sliming the recipient's hands in lumpy hanyo.

 “Nice to meet you. Do all towns have a dedicated FBI agent or is it just this one on account of the…” Ally motioned to the mimes bizarre behavior. “Alright so six months until this is normal. Great. Another drink?” She suggested. She had moved across an ocean for a new start, and the new start was fucking weird. She heard a balloon pop and glanced over, watching what looked like mayonnaise cover a woman’s hands. “That’s going on the ‘not illegal but it should be’ list.”

 What a curious thing, how the music changed, seemingly stolen away from the poor child trying his best. Best not to interfere. Kevin instead busied herself, walking over to the delightful bunch of balloons. Her eyes widened as one of them suddenly popped, a delighted smile curling onto her face as she drew near the strangers at the stand. “Ah, I thought the sign said not to pop them. How strange. Do they all have that… substance inside them, do you think?”

Jared was only there to support one of the mimes in the band. He was a regular at the restaurant in town and the nymph always tried his best to mime back with enthusiasm when he was ordering. It seemed to have won him some favour when he was slipped a flier for the event in the commons, the mime silently letting him know that they were to be there. And so there he was, miming clapping along to the supposed beat of the silent band, only to swap to real clapping when the band burst into sound. 

Savannah snickered. White Crest's dedicated FBI Agent. That was a funny way of looking at things. She certainly felt like that, at times. Although she was beginning to get the feeling it wouldn't last much longer. "I came for one specific case, and found several more. Missing people, cults, a ridiculously large death toll for a town this side. What could be better?" she said, playfully sarcastic. "I like the accent," Savannah said. "England, right?" 

“No, I didn’t.” Mercy didn’t seem to know a lot of things these days. Not that she expected to know everything about Arthur’s life here in town. But if this guy knew him as Aren… then he was old like they were. He had to be. Mercy thought at least something like that would be worth her knowing. Her mind drifted off to places she didn’t want it to be, places that held nothing but self-doubt and bitterness, but her new acquaintances excitement pulled her out of it. “Oh, you don’t want my help…” she huffed, glancing between Arthur and his mysterious friend as she finished off her drink. “Unless you like fire. Lots of fire.” Another balloon popped, this time at Arthur’s bidding, and Mercy shook her head. “And people say I’m a bad influence…” Though the air around her hummed slightly, sounding ironically… like bees. 

 Kaden wasn’t sure what the hell was going to happen. Or what Nora was trying to convey in what he assumed was mime gestures. It looked like a lot of flopping around. From the looks of it, the mimes weren’t convinced. Putain de merde, this was how they died. Or became striped again. He wasn’t sure which was worse. Before any of them could reveal extra teeth or stripes under stripes, a mime bear appeared and chased the mimes. Kaden was prepared to high tail it and run the opposite direction, but the actual bugbear pulled him away. He wasn’t sure where the fuck they were running, but he kept going. Straight into Marie-Jeanne. Putain de fucking merde. 

 Kevin let her attention wander, humming along to the music. It was a pleasant sound, but it was being stolen. So very rude. Well, two could play at that game. A twist of her fingers was all she needed. As the mime band continued on, their music seemed to spread. It spilled out of the mystery box and echoed from the balloons, sounding almost as if it was trapped inside. As the melody went on, it grew stranger, louder, almost as though it were at odds with itself. Impossible instruments joined in, a few discordant voices joining into the mix. Now this was what a party was supposed to sound like. 

 Looking absolutely thrilled as Arthur joined in on the balloon-bursting fun, Solomon tut-tutted at Mercy. “Come on, it’s not often you get to cause a little mischief and not worry about repercussions. Also no, not the biggest fan of fire, but… a little seems to work just fine,” he added with a grin. Extending his hand to the woman, he figured a proper introduction was in order. “I’m Solomon, by the way. Aren and I met back in the… gods, what was it?” He glanced to Arthur, cocking his head to the side. “1700?” Then he noticed the sound around them was changing, and made a face. “The hell is that?”

 Ally sipped on the next drink she was handed, feeling a little more comfortable. “Cults?” She said, perking up. In London there had been a cult that she had suspected was actually just a clan of vampires. “I’ll have to look into that. At least it’s not boring.” She said simply, glancing back down at her drink. “Yes, yes I’m from London. And you?”

 Marie-Jeanne grinned at Nora and Kaden, swivelling her hips salaciously. Unfortunately, she saw what they were going to do and that was ever so unacceptable. She peeled one of the stripes off her body to reveal more stripes underneath. She'd gotten ever so many more stripes since the last time they'd met. With the stripe of questionable material, she tried to tie the pair of them up. 

 Witnessing all these people seeming to run a muck made Dakota truly wonder why she had moved to White Crest in the first place. Sipping her hot chocolate, she did happen to see Marley, and she promptly choked on her drink and made a bee-line in the other direction, stumbling in to someone else’s conversation. Oh, wait… She’d seen this person before. FBI agent, right? “Uh, sorry, I heard there was commotion about bees.” She looked between the FBI agent and the other person she was speaking with, whom she had not the faintest idea of a name. “Sorry to interrupt. Are you guys talking about London?” Please be a normal conversation…

 "Yeah, my colleague who worked here before he passed away was an expert in cults," Savannah said, as plainly as she might when talking about the weather. "I'm from Massachusetts," she said. "I was working at the Field Office in Boston for a few years prior to moving here. I'm sure the place will leave an impression..." She turned to the newest person who'd entered the conversation, someone from the crime lab. "Yeah," she said. "You been there?" She wrinkled her face in confusion. “Bees?”

 “London? No, no. I do know there’s like, a big clock. And a ferris wheel. And I’m not sure what I heard, but there was definitely someone shouting about bees…” Yeah, Dakota, that’s why you tried to make yourself look busy. “Have you?”

 "Big Ben and the London Eye," Savannah said, nodding. "Yeah, I went to a few places around the UK on my Honeymoon," she answered, but was quick to lift her drink to draw attention to her empty ring finger. 

 Nell had come to this event for one reason, and one reason only. To ruin as much of it as she could. The mimes thought they ruled this town, holding it under the tip of their striped thumbs, but in her mind they could stand to be brought down a few pegs or more. As she finally arrived, her eyes narrowed, nose scrunching at the cursed sound the band was emitting. Without a second thought she murmured a spell under her breath, snickering as the strings of the mime band’s violins snapped to slash back across the musicians faces in a light slap. Already in a much better mood, she made her way through the crowd looking for more opportunities to soil the mimes. 

 Ally made a mental note to ask Savannah about her colleague, interrupted by a new person in the conversation. “I mean, bees aren’t usually out in the winter. Have you seen any?” she asked, looking around. “Oh, well, I’m from there.” Ally explained. She looked at Savannah’s empty ring finger and nodded. “Ah, sorry.” she said awkwardly, unsure what to say. 

 “Oh, it’s fine,” Savannah answered. “It just means I’m single.”

 Remmy was instantly relieved when they spotted Nell across the way, and started making their way to her. Picked up a drink on the way and watched out of the corner of their eye as Kade and Nora went off to do their mime shenanigans. The screeching of the new violins were lost on Remmy’s ears, and they smiled brightly as they found their way over to Nell, waving. “Hey! Nell!” they called out, “I didn’t think you were gonna come. I thought you hated mimes?”

 Connor was grateful that someone else he knew had shown up; someone in a similar age range. It was weird when everyone around him was in their thirties or forties. "Nell!" He called, unaware of what she had just done to upset the mimes, waving her over. "Come meet Nico!" The Golden Retriever seemed all too happy to make a new friend.

 "Oh! You haven't met? Mercy this is Solomon. Solomon this is Mercy now you know one another." Arthur would've clapped, except, he couldn't so he grinned instead looking between his compatriots tonight. "Oh come on," he nudged Mercy "let's be the chaos crew." Another balloon nearby popped and a plastic necklace dropped into the hands of a pleased looking little girl.

 Dakota furrowed her brow, not exactly sure what had happened with Savannah and her ex. “Damn, was the honeymoon that bad?” she joked, then drew her attention to Ally. “Sorry, I totally butted in. I’m Dakota. And I heard London is nice. Except for when you’re having bad honeymoons, apparently.”

He heard a familiar laugh and turned to spot Remmy and Nell across the way. Jared gave a small smile to his mime pal in the band, giving them a thumbs up before heading over. Overhearing Remmy’s words he frowned, however. “Hate mimes? Why?”

Savannah rolled her eyes with a snicker. "No, the honeymoon was great. The marriage was just average," she said, shrugging. "No huge angst, no broken hearts. Just better off as acquaintances these days." 

Nora was ready to book it over to the ball to steal it when the most beautiful person Nora had ever seen stepped in front of them. Of course, Nora had seen this person before but that didn't make her appearance any less breathtaking. Nora skidded to a stop, not willing to brush past Marie-Jeanne. It was with rapt attention Nora watched as Marie-Jeanne took off one of her many stripes. It was with no quarrel that Noar let Marie-Jeanne wrap her in the stripe. It was with a weird sense of belonging that she thanks Marie-Jeanne for tying her up. "Thanks." Nora let out. Of course, that came with complete forgetfulness of having been pretending to be a mime. Nora looked expectantly to Kaden, expecting him to get tied up as well. 

 “Oh, you fucking bet I hate mimes. That’s why I came to destroy everything they love,” Nell quickly replied to Remmy, her voice bright despite the doom promised in her words. “Why are you here?” There was, without a doubt, one thing that could momentarily turn her head from her current mime mission in life, and that was one singular golden dog that was approaching with Connor. “Nico?” Nell asked excitedly, already bending to pet the pup. “Since when do you have a dog?” Then she turned to Jared, confusion and judgement plain on her features. “Jared- you know I literally despise mimes.”

 After several drinks, Marley finally felt confident enough to join the group without either accidentally feeding off someone or saying something stupid or rude. She made her way over to the group of people she recognized all together-- Savannah, Ally, Dakota. Only two out of three of them would be awkward to talk to, so that was a win. In most situations, they all would be. Grabbing another spiced eggnog, Marley headed over, pausing just short when the violins began screeching, turning to glance back over at them. Disaster one, she supposed. Opting to ignore it, she leaned against the table. “If we’re all here, who’s working the lines?”

 “A partner is usually more trouble than they’re worth, I’ve found. Except it would certainly lower my rent.” Ally offered. “Maybe one of those are looking for a roommate.” she joked, watching the mimes lose control of their violins. Another sip of her drink. “I’m Ally, nice to meet you.” she smiled. She was heading toward best case scenario territory. Even with the mimes and maybe bees. When Marley approached Ally smiled, glad to see someone she recognized. “I’m on call.” She said, tapping her earpiece. “I’ll have to arrest someone in a dress tonight, I’m sure of it.”

 Remmy felt a tad overwhelmed as the boy from Nell’s birthday party that had wanted to pet Moose came up to them as well as Jared. Nell confirmed her hated for mimes and Remmy shrugged. “I came with Nora, she was really excited to be here. I think she’s trying to con that guy Kaden into stealing the ball for the ball drop with her,” they said, looking at the other two. “You brought your dog? Are they okay with fireworks? I heard there might be some later.”

 "They are kind of weird, aren't they?" Connor said about the mimes. There was something even more unsettling about the White Crest version of mimes than the usual ones. "I adopted her right before Christmas.” He looked to Remmy. “I'm gonna leave if she gets antsy about the crowds and fireworks, and probably head away before they go off, so I can see how she is at a distance, but she's a gundog, so she might be alright." 

 Savannah shrugged, unaware of the situation with Marley and Dakota, and also not really caring. She was just happy Marley wasn't avoiding her. "I dunno, Keene, maybe?" 

 Ah so there was another witch about. How sweet. Kevin found the woman quickly, feeling the magic in the air trailing from the broken instrument to the caster in question. It was a decent spell, clever and rounded at the edges. Still, her own had already reached the music, and Kevin wasn’t particularly interested in letting others cross paths with hers. Her hand turned, hidden in her glamor. The music grew louder, horns and bells chiming in, whispers of voices in a dozen unknowable tongues joining in. All of it centered around that sweet, young caster. The musical notes began to take shape around her, turning into birds, into bubbles that popped with a scream, and all the while, the volume continued to grow.

Jared spared a bright smile for Remmy and the stranger before mumbling a soft “I hoped you’d grown out of hating mimes… We haven’t really spoken about them all that much since you got back…” He glanced back at his mime friend in the band hoping they weren’t hearing this; he’d hate to offend such a new friend like this. “They’re just trying to get along like everyone else.” 

The mention of the word partner made Marley’s skin vibrate and she nodded perhaps a bit more enthusiastically than she should’ve. “Agreed. People aren’t worth the trouble,” before shooting back another chug. “Oh, right. Agatha.” She should’ve known that, Agatha had practically tripped over herself to volunteer tonight. She was a real teacher’s pet, but for whatever reason, Marley only found the trait endearing, whereas usually she hated it. She watched Dakota back away and head off, wondering if it was because of her, frowning. She glanced at Savannah, only for a moment, before turning her eyes away. “What do you think of the band? Kinda eerie, huh?”

 “You’d be surprised,” Mercy said to Solomon, eyeing the stranger with even more curiosity. “Though it has been awhile I suppose.” Besides, Mercy’s brand of mischief might utterly ruin the mimes’ night. How could she resist? Especially as Arthur so eagerly introduced her and the stranger. “It’s an honor to meet you, Solomon,” she said, shaking hands. “But you can call me Freyja if you like. I’ve known Aren… well, forever really.” And that was the truth. Idly she wondered if she and Solomon had perhaps met in passing when she’d been in Maine herself in the early 1700s. Or if the man had known Arthur’s family. His children. But the dour thoughts passed easily as she was jostled by Arthur. She sighed in a pseudo-put upon fashion, smiling faintly as the little girl showed her necklace to her father. “You really want me to do this?” she asked, looking first at Arthur then at Solomon, who seemed a bit worried all of a sudden. 

 “Kind of weird is an understatement,” Nell replied dryly, glaring at a passing mime as if she were daring it to say, or sign something. “Steal the ball?” she asked with renewed curiosity. Surely that would be a good way to throw a wrench in the mimes’ celebration. Unfortunately Jared’s words were lost as the music swelled around her, and her skin prickled as another magic blossomed. Apparently someone wasn’t all too thrilled with her antics around the band. “I can’t hear you!” she yelled over the music towards her friends, but that didn’t matter now. If someone was upset she was messing with the band, deafening her was the wrong way to make her stop. Instead it fueled her hatred of the mimes even further, and in another moment she let her magic fly again, targeting the mime band with renewed vigor as she flipped the chairs of the first row, sending mimes tumbling.

 It was her. The mime who had given him the lapdance on his birthday. The one with too many teeth and stripes under her stripes. He tried to get away, make a run for it, but she had peeled off her stripes and was tying him up. Shit. Shit fucking shit. Of course Nora was thrilled. Kaden tried to pull his hands away, but she had a vice grip on his wrist and wasn’t letting up. Even with hunter strength it was hard to pull away. He heard strange sounds coming from the center of the Common from the band, seemingly. Like someone threw something at the musicians. “Hey, uh, this was, this is great but I gotta go.”

 Remmy glanced between Nell and Jared, wondering what was going on between them that someone would think Nell liked mimes. Anyone who knew Nell knew she hated them. It was strange to think she ever did or ever would like them. But then she was shouting and Remmy was glancing around anxiously. “Nell, are you okay?” they asked, reaching out for her, but she was already doing something else, and Remmy watched as the front row of the mime band was upturned. They winced. “Nell, was that--”

 "Kaden's here, too," Savannah said. She knew she'd spotted him talking to a goth-looking person earlier. Speaking of the band, Savannah's head turned as the front row of the orchestra seemed to all be thrown off their chairs. "The band are... interesting, but... Oh. Well, I don't think that's part of the show." 

 Quickly forgetting the bizarre sound he’d heard in favor of getting up to no good, Solomon nodded enthusiastically. This wasn’t normally his brand of activity, but something about running into such an old friend had rekindled a spark in him that had been snuffed out long ago. “Well then, Freyja, yes! We do!” He scanned the crowd for another unsuspecting guest, spotting a balloon gripped in the hands of a young boy, and grinned. “It’s easy… like this!” Letting loose another small volley of thorns, Solomon’s delight quickly turned to confusion as the balloon burst and out fell… dust? What was that? “Huh,” he grunted, a little disappointed. But then the dust was on the move, balling up in clumps as it rolled along the ground, with alarming… intelligence. “Uh oh.”

 There was a horrific clatter of musical instruments (including the ting of a strangely loud triangle). The mimes stopped all at once, helping their brethren to their feet. In unison, they turned to face Nell in particular, and frowned as one in perfect synchronisation, drawing a sad face onto theirs. There was a ripple of perfect silence across the crowd before the music started up again. Unbeknownst to Nell, changes were beginning to happen at the Vural household. Then they sat down, picked up new mime instruments and began to play once more. 

 “Single cops who spend all their time at the precinct. Aren’t we stereotypes.” Ally noticed Marley frown when Dakota disappeared and wondered if there was a story there. “Very eerie here. How do you think they’re doing it? Hidden speakers.” She said, leaning over to see if she could spot them. She noticed them get thrown off their chair. “What is happening?” she said, wondering if they should do something.

Jared whipped around to see the chairs fly and his smile vanished. “Nell what the hell! Stop that, what have they done? They haven’t done anything, stop that.” He glared at her and stomped over to help pick up the chairs. He missed the eerie stop of the music completely in his anger.

As the mimes looked to Nell in unison, she raised a single finger. A very carefully chosen finger. The most offensive finger a person could raise as she collectively flipped them the bird.

 Remmy, noticing the mimes all staring at Nell, backed away slowly, taking Connor and his dog with them. “We should...go.”

 Connor didn't need to be a genius (he definitely wasn't one) to figure out that Nell was the one messing with the band. He raised an eyebrow, chuckling as she gave them the finger. "Careful. I've heard they can be pretty dangerous." He nodded to Remmy. “Yeah, good idea,” he teased. “You’re on your own, Penelope.” Miriam had made him promise, after all, not to let the dog get into any dangerous situations.

 Nell’s finger began to develop stripes.

 Wincing, Marley took another long sip of her eggnog, watching the turmoil begin to crescendo-- pun intended. All the mimes were focusing on one single person, and Marley noticed it was the little jailbird, Nell. Chuckling, Marley relaxed little, excited to see how this might play out. She glanced over at Ally and Savannah. “Well, here’s to being single and dedicating our lives to shit like this, yeah?” she raised her glass to them both, not bothering to answer the unasked question of whether they should intervene. She wasn’t on duty, she had no obligation to act, just like with the Dullahan. Instead, she’d enjoy the show, and the free meal. She deserved it.

 Oblivious to the ensuing chaos by the bandstand, Arthur watched the strange clumps of dust rolling across the floor mildly entranced by the dust bunnies. "Huuuh, weird." As if on cue another couple of balloons popped, but this time instead of their owners suffering the repercussions he heard a pop too close for comfort and felt the wet slide of something down his face; which was now covered in a stream of white mayo. "Ewwwww- I hate mayonnaise Disgusting."

 Nell couldn’t deny that her first thought upon seeing her finger develop stripes was ‘chop it off.’ Thankfully, she did no such thing and made the very wise decision to raise her other middle finger, brandishing it as she stuck out her tongue to the mime band. “I have two, bitch!”

 Her other finger began to develop stripes. So did her tongue.

 Sam Rainsbottom grinned for a camera as he posed in front of the New Years party panorama. “Hello everyone! This is WC Student Broadcasting coming to you from the Coooomon!” Sam’s blue eyes flicked up to where the Yearbook students manning the camera switched to a new cue card. “We’d like to officially thank the Striped Club, The Quiet Place, and Your Mime and Ours, and whole Silent Thespian community for sponsoring this civic event!”

 Sam looked back at chaos of stands being tipped over “shit shit” he side shuffled and made motions with his hands for the camera to pan away to some non-destruction scenes of this New Years party.

 Marie-Jeanne giggled silently, tapping Nora's nose that developed some stripes of their own. She did not do the same to Kaden, holding him tightly as she pulled a balloon out of her pocket. Don't ask how she has pockets. Don't ask how a large balloon fit in the pocket. All Kaden and Nora needed to worry about was that the balloon was slowly expanding, getting ready to pop.

 Mercy glanced over at the ruckus from near the ‘mime band’, but since it was actual sound being made, she didn’t pay much attention. She turned back to watch Solomon send a volley of… was it thorns??... through the air and pop another balloon. “Good shot,” Mercy grinned, squinting at the balls of dust that rolled away. “Oh… it’s just some dust bunnies. Nothing to worry about.” The air hummed with chaotic energy, the brisk chill of the evening and the sounds of the crowd - barring whatever was happening with the ‘band’ - along with the contagiousness of her companions’ mischief was quickly taking over any good sense she might’ve shown. The balloon that popped nearby only got a passing glance from the Fury, though she did grimace a little at substance that coated Arthur’s face. “Are you sure it’s mayo?” she asked, scooping a bit onto her finger to taste. “Yeah… yuck. Definitely mayo. With undertones of birb.” But… with no harm done from yet another balloon, Mercy finally handed Arthur her drink. “Those were both great shots, boys…” she said of their individual balloon-popping. “Now it’s my turn…” With that, she turned and walked off into the crowd. A brush of a hand here… a tap of a finger there… and when she returned a minute or so later, her cheeks were flushed, and her eyes were bright with mischief and the effects of her power. Mercy glanced at her watch. “You wanted chaos…” It read about a minute or so til somewhere nearby a bell would toll. “You’ll get chaos…” 

 Nora giggled. Nora actually fully giggled as Marie-Jeanne tapped her nose. She might have actually giggled more if she'd known that her nose was now striped. It was like mime themed freckles. Her eyes followed the balloon, looking up at it. The roundness of the balloon reminded Nora that she was on a mission. "I'm sorry. I have something I need to do." Nora rolled to her side and started rolling towards the giant ball. Not very fast, to be fair. Definitely not fast enough to get away from the balloon. The balloon popped above her in a shower of rainbows. It was a beautiful effect. It was less beautiful as Nora noticed that her outfit went from the signature black to colorful rainbow. 

 Looking a little grossed out when the new substance appeared on Arthur’s face, Solomon only looked more aghast when Mercy tasted it. “That… could have been one hundred percent bird poop! You’re brave,” he laughed. Happy to see that she’d finally decided to join in, the leshy watched curious as she walked away, nudging Arthur gently in the side. “Cool friend you got there, Aren. She seems like fun!” His eyebrows raised again as she came back into view, and that struggle with the unknown took hold once again. “What did you do?” he gasped excitedly, eyes widening. 

 Tired of being unable to hear the voices of those surrounding her, and currently angered by the mimes audacity at stripe-ing her, Nell cast another bit of magic to disrupt whatever spell it was the other caster in the crowd had thrown at her. The music returned to its normal, albeit still disturbing volume, but at least she was no longer being taken over by sound. Unfortunately...there was no saving her fingers. In rebuttal, she magicked a few of the mimes into the opposite of her fingers...rendering them solemnly solid rather than striped. 

 Kaden tried to pull away and swore he could have made it, but it was too late. It didn’t matter. The balloon exploded and rained down color on them. Great. That was fine. Just a nice pretty balloon. And he seemed to be free to walk away. “Great. Nice seeing you again. I guess.” And while Nora rolled away, Kaden just walked around Marie-Jeanne as she blew him a kiss and headed towards the ball. He looked down briefly and noticed the color seemed to be following him. Hmm, no it was on him. He looked down at his clothes and noticed, like Nora’s they were all rainbow. He look at his hands and his fingernails were rainbow colored. With a deep dread, he sighed and leaned over to take a quick look at himself in a pane of glass nearby. He saw his hair. It, too, was rainbow colored. “Putain de merde!” he screamed. Loudly. It wasn’t Regan loud, but it was loud. He heard balloons popping in the distance. And what sounded like flesh exploding closer by. He looked to his left and black sludge was splattered across the way. 

Whilst trying to help the first row of chairs up again Jared tripped. He’d never been super sure in his step when he was wearing shoes. So, as he tripped a balloon tied off to one of the nearby benches popped. In the rain of confetti Jared blinked. And then he blinked again. His entire being was striped. But it wasn’t static. He was flashing stripes that moved up and down his body as if to the beat of the remaining music from the band. He was a disco mime.

Nell's stripes began to extend down her fingers and her arms. They extended into her clothes. She would notice that, but the more sinister change, she would not notice later tonight, once she was out of these stripey clothes. She could only speak when dressed as a mime. 

 Solomon's statement made Arthur snicker even if he was kind of disgusted by the sentiment. "That's rank, ew." But his disgust was forgotten as Mercy wandered off into the crowd attempting to roughly track her movements but she was lost for a few and so he turned back to Solomon. "She is. Like the coolest." There was a small swell of warm pride as Mercy returned and whatever she had done he knew it was bound to be great. In for a penny in for a pound, he popped another three balloons. One of which splattered a white substance on the ground into which a young boy stepped... And got stuck. "Mummy!” the boy screamed “Mummy! Help! I'm stuck!" The second balloon popped, and a rotten banana peel fell out of the sky landing on Mercy’s head with a wet squelch.

 Marie-Jeanne exploded at the sound of Kaden's yell. She would be back.

 Sam listed off more town facts and corporate sponsors as the sparkler burned in his hand. His eyes briefly strayed to the sparkler ignition. Pure white and black flames poured from the sparkler, strange umbral fire and pale fluoresce weaved together in a mydriatic dance that caused an ecliptic blur across Sam’s vision when he focused on it. 

 How..did…how could fire? That's not how light works..right?

 A cough from the camera guy brought Sam back to reality, away from questions, and unwelcome thoughts suppressed across generations. Sam grinned with a thumbs up as the mime-flame burned without a sound.

 A rainbow tear slid down Nora's face as Marie-Jeanne exploded in front of them. Nora, tied up, defeated, lay there. Was there a point to stealing the ball? This was a bad end to the year.

 Nora looked defeated. Which was probably for the best. They likely didn’t need to anger the mimes anymore. “Come on, let’s go back to the party or whatever you’d call this,” Kaden said as he tugged on Nora’s arm to lead them back to the center of the Common. As they made their way back to the center of the Common, he saw Nell. Covered in stripes. “Putain de merde, what the hell happened to you?” he said in between laughter. It was horrifying, sure. But it was also fucking hilarious. 

 The gayest bear to ever exist, covered in rainbows and stripes, followed Kaden without complaint. Not a word would come from Nora’s mourning mouth for the rest of the night. The rest of the new year was in memory of Marie-Jeanne.

 An enthralling quiet descended across the crowd as the mimes began to mime out the minute long countdown. Even if you wanted to yell (with two colourful exceptions) you would barely speak louder than a whisper.  On top of a tall spire, a striped black and white ball slowly descended. The silence rang like an orchestral harmony, which was a strange experience for everyone who hadn't heard loud silence before. When the clock hit midnight, the silence was loudest of all. Then the ball burst, and black sauce the hadn't been seen since the Sauce had dried up exploded over the whole common, covering many people. Those who got some in their mouths would soon come to regret it. 

 “What happened to me? What happened to you?” Nell cackled as she took in his rainbow stripes. But Nell certainly wasn’t about to let Kaden have the last laugh, and with another narrow of her eyes and quick spellwork, she wasted no time in hauling a metric fuck-ton of Sauce towards the hunter, pouring it over Kaden in a cursed and sticky waterfall, but purposefully leaving his rainbow hair on full display. 

 Snickering as the banana peel dropped on his new friend’s head, Solomon gave Arthur a nod in solidarity. Not wanting to fall behind, he made sure to get another popped balloon under his belt, but… nothing happened? He was certainly close enough to have seen it, the young man was passing right by them, balloon tucked beneath his arm when Solomon reached out and burst it with a prick of his thorned finger. Disappointed, he gave the two of them a shrug. “Guess it was a dud…?” Glancing up as a sudden hush fell over the crowd, he watched with interest as the mimes counted down silently, the ball slowly started to slide down, and then… exploded? Alarmed, he raised his arms to cover his face, sidestepping behind Arthur quickly as he could.

 “Nah. Bird poops all runny. Was too thick for that.” Mercy wiped her hand on her jeans as she departed for the crowd. It wasn’t often that she used her power to such an extent, but tonight, with so much chaotic energy thrumming around them, the pull was… irresistible. Add Arthur’s gleeful encouragement - along with that of her new friend Solomon - and nothing could stop her from tipping the scales in favor of letting chaos reign supreme. She gave Arthur a warm, knowing smirk as she returned, and glanced at Solomon as the moment the bell would toll drew closer. “You’ll see…” She looked up as the little boy got stuck in the glue, but his mother got him out eventually, sans a shoe she didn’t bother to retrieve. “Eww!” she laughed, swiping the banana peel off her head… “That’s so gro-...” Mercy’s voice fell to a whisper. She frowned. She looked at her watch.

 There was only silence where a bell should’ve sounded the time… 

 Silence that was deafening… until...

 ...pop… pop… pop-pop… POP

 The sound of balloons. 

 Because in the crowd that Mercy had ducked through moments earlier, people were raising whatever they could find to the floating bits of plastic… and as the New Year began… they were popping them, one by one. Not all of them, and not everyone, but enough. 

 Mercy wasn’t sure what was happening. Only that she was covered in…. glitter. So much glitter… but it could've been worse. So much worse. So in true Fury fashion, she embraced the chaos she’d helped create… and laughed. 

 The echo of pops broke the otherwise eerie silence and Arthur didn't even bother to stifle his chuckle. "No no no!" he protested as Solomon tried to hide, grabbing his friends arm and scuffling to get behind him instead... Right as a balloon popped over his head and covered him in glitter. Well, that was the weirdest New Year’s he’d ever experienced.

 Even the camera footage has been tainted with the Sauce as Sam and his camera crew tried the playback function on soggy recording device. Everything just played back in black and white without any sound, like an old silent film. 

 Sam tried to give an updated new report on what happened for the Camera after trying to wipe black goo from his hair and gag it off his tongue. But he couldn’t speak. Sam raised his voice and even shouted until he was red in the face, but not even a rasping sound left his throat. 

 Eventually the sauce-sodden student was reduced to forlornly scribbling on the cue card with markers and holding them up to the camera. 

 HAPPY NEW YEAR WHITE CREST

 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

#wickedswriting

[ohnobjyx]

you answer about celebrities being prudent with dating got me curious as western boys in bands, especially in the rock/alternative/rap scene, seem to have a reputation for dating/sleeping around a lot, do asian idols just not date/sleep around a lot or are they just better at hiding it because they are expected to?

Hi, anon! I’m slowly working through all the asks, but I remembered yours when I was watching this week hotpot episode from SDoC S3 (I’m wondering if I should write a post compiling all the candies, but I have so many asks pending).

To start with the answer, let’s put the disclaimer first: I don’t know celebrities, I’m a simple fan just like all of us. Whatever they do in their private life it’s their own thing, and I just simply try to place an objective view of their situation here.

Just a clarification: when we talk about idol or celebrity, I’m talking about those that are pretty successful in the industry (with their number of fans ranking in the millions). These are the tip of the iceberg in the industry however. The bulk of them have less fans, but are also less subjected to scrutiny by the public.

1. First of all they are prudent because it isn’t widely accepted as “good” that people date/sleep around a lot, especially among the older generations. However, many young people also feel that it’s unacceptable, and their opinions may vary from “they must be very promiscuous or they flicker a lot” to “if they haven’t been able to keep a relationship for long, there must be a problem with this person”.

2. We’ve already talked about the fact that celebrities are expected to uphold a clear and good moral example for their fans. They’ll be heavily criticized if they do things that aren’t socially approved, and it’ll impact negatively on their work prospects. So, I suppose that in the case any celebrity did date/sleep around, they’d have to be masters at hiding their “affairs”.

Let’s just imagine how a male idol’s gf fans (the type of fans that fantasize being their idol’s gf) would react if their idol publicly dated around with many girls. I don’t think that would end well.

3. Like I said at the beginning, I’m going to talk about those idols and celebrities that have more success in the industry.

So, when we talk about dating/sleeping around, there’s something that we can’t ignore: time.

I don’t know about the workload of the boy bands (especially, as you said, in the rock/alternative/rap scene) but the workload of an Asian idol is terrifying.

Let me show you a few examples:

a. Even before he debuted in the boy band, dd spent almost everyday hours dancing, no free weekends and barely vacations, since he was 13 and entered the company. As a child, he got myocarditis when he was learning to dance. As soon as he got discharged, he went back to dancing, and spent his summer vacations (just a month in China, btw, August) dancing from 1 pm to 9 pm everyday, to recover the lost ground (this really was a test for his love for dancing, but just imagine it: he could do 8 hours a day just because he liked it, how many hours would he pull when pressed by the company?)

b. To anyone unfamiliar with Asian culture, the Lunar New Year’s Eve is the most important celebration in Asian culture, a night when family gathers together to celebrate the arrival of the new year. Asian idols usually are full of work, even that same night, so they almost never spend the New Year’s Eve with their families. A famed actress (in her fifties), once said in a program: “my father died last year... and one of the things I regret the most is that I haven’t spent a single New Year’s Eve with him in the last 20 years”.

c. In 2015, a year after his debut with Uniq, dd posted on w/ibo: “Just another year that I can’t be with my parents on New Year’s Eve... just a little sad” (and from what I know, he hadn’t spent a single New Year’s Eve at home since his debut).

d. I don’t know if any of you are familiar with Running Man, another c-variety show that’s very popular in China (I recommended it, btw). They did a night-life special last year, and when the director announced the theme (that they’d start filming by 4 pm and continue through the night), the host were like “just that?”:

“Then like our usual jobs”, “I can stay awake longer than an owl”, “I’m also good at spending all-nighters”.

One of them actually said: it seems that they don’t really get what an actor’s job is... everyone say how many days and nights have you gone by without sleeping in you busiest times? Angelababy (that’s her stage name, yes): “When I was a model... I really spent  three days and three nights   without a single moment of sleep.” Li Chen: “Before I came here to film yesterday, I spent 4 days filming night scenes for my drama, so 4 nights without sleep.”

Song Yuqi: “If we count sleeping an hour a day... I went a full week without a full night of sleep. Yesterday was the longest I’ve been sleeping in the last month”.

Their attitude is what surprises me the most, to be honest... It’s like, “of course we would spend a whole night awake, no problem!”

e. One of the previous hosts from this show once said that from his daughter’s birth to her first birthday the amount of time he spent with her totalled to three months.

4. I actually remembered your ask yesterday when I was watching the hotpot episode because of this:

The hosts mentioned getting back at their hotels after filming at 6 am (I think they had been filming the episode during the day and most of the night, and wanted to film a part of the dance using the first daylight). Actually, dd was talking about ZYX making noise in his room practicing dance moves at 6 am (wtf dude, you just pulled an all-nighter, please sleep).

There was a stalker photo of dd taken at 3 am when dd was coming out of the filming site for SDoC S3, one of the other day (just imagine it: you’re leaving the workplace, after a hard day of work, and instead of getting into the car peacefully you have to escape from these people). 

This kind of workload is insane. When they aren’t filming, they are travelling to filming sites, filming tv shows episodes, filming commercials, doing interviews, photoshoots, practicing whatever show is coming up next, reading scripts, and a long list of things they do. Almost without a single moment to rest.

I remember an interview of another actor, in which he said that if he had a free moment in his schedule or a free day, he spent it sleeping and talking with his family.

I’m not saying that with this kind of schedule keeping a relationship is absolutely impossible, but it resembles greatly a long distance relationship, no matter where your home actually is. So dating around a lot is quite of... difficult? (at least in my opinion). And about sleeping around... maybe it’s just me, but if I had a free night with their workload... I’d pass out as soon as I was in my room, and that’s all the sleeping I can envision.

(Btw, this kind of work pace is a trend in China. I've been told that it’s actually common to have surgeons doing 36-hour shifts... here I was thinking that 24h shifts were outrageous).

5. However, it’s not impossible. It wasn’t so long ago that a scandal got out about an actor who was married and with an adult son AND still had time to keep a mistress.

I hope I haven’t rambled too much, anon, and that you find my answer useful!

Edit (thanks to @gremlin-02!): “you're missing the part about propaganda. chinese idols have to hold up "chinese culture/good morals/examples of good citizens" they are not gonna be promoting a play boy idol since it "corrupts" the family values and state system.”

You are absolutely right, and it’s also a point that supports the second part of this post. We tend to forget about it, but the national propaganda has shaped the country from its core. Without it, the country would be very different today. Not better or worse, just... different, since propaganda, for all its bad reputation, has played a large part in their economic growth and their position in the world economy today.

#ask #my post #I think I should create a tag for this kind of asks #c-culture #those who have questions (short or related to post) can leave a comment and I'll try to answer them when I can

[queenmagnusao3]

All In a Day’s Work - Chapter 1

AO3 Link - Lin Beifong is the worst patient

I like to beat up my favorite characters so this fic has been creating so I can get it out of my system. Once I finish this part I want to write a companion piece with a separate oneshot for each one of these situations and Lin got herself into them

Healer Sora Yueng had seen a lot in her many years as a healer for Republic City’s largest and busiest hospital. She had trained under arguably the greatest healer in the world and now was a well-respected mentor herself. Tonight was pretty average, not too busy nor quiet. Another new intern had started training under her and they spent the better part of the last hour removing small shards of glass from a poor woman who had fallen through a glass door.

Now, the healer was taking a break while she had the intern manning the new intake desk. Sora downed the rest of her tea, overhearing a conversation her intern was having with a new patient. She instantly recognized the voice and cursed the spirits for not giving her just one nice, calm and normal evening.

“I’m fine. It’s just my arm.”

The voice hitched as it sucked in a breath of obvious pain. Sora rolled her eyes as she started making her way to the front desk.

“Maybe a cracked rib.”

“Don’t forget whiplash.”

The new voice was also familiar to the healer but she was surprised. It had been quite some time since she had heard the two together.

“Shut it, Tenzin. Why are you even still here? Just  get a healer over here and then I can leave.”

There’s her cue. Sora plastered a falsely sweet smile on her face as she rounded the corner to see one of her favorite patients; Republic City Police Chief Lin Beifong. The woman’s face contorted as she groaned.

“Of course you’re working tonight. I’m fine.”

I’m fine was the usual story and often meant that she was anything but. Sora couldn’t help a small chuckle as she saw Master Tenzin subtlety shaking his head at her over the Chief’s shoulder.

“On the off chance that you’re not completely fine why don’t you come on back and I’ll check you over?”

Lin grumbled something and Sora just smiled to herself. Getting Lin Beifong to submit to any kind of medical attention was a fine art and she was satisfied that she hadn’t lost her touch in said art.

“You can go home if you want, Master Tenzin. I assure you she’s in good hands.”

A look flashed across the airbender’s face.

“Or… you can wait down the hall unt-“

“Go home, airhead. I’ll be fine. And I’m sure your wife is worried about you.”

The healer couldn’t help but notice that the earthbender was making great efforts to avoid making eye contact with him. Apparently they’re relationship was still complicated after all these years. He really should be at home with his family. She had witnessed enough of the pair’s lives to feel a bit protective of Lin. Especially with that look he was giving her.

“Chief, the usual room is open if you want to head in.”

Without a word she turned and walked around the corner. Tenzin watched her as she left and Sora stepped directly into his line of vision.

“You should probably leave now, Master Tenzin.”

He looked at her and blinked rapidly as if coming out of a daze. He looked down, his cheeks reddening. He mumbled some sort of departing well wish before quickly making his retreat. Sora let out a sigh as she turned to her intern.

“I’ve got to take care of this one alone, hold down the fort while I’m in there.”

He nodded to her. There was a look of curiosity in his eyes that made her sigh again as she walked away. It was the look they always had when the Police Chief ended up there. She’d deal with his inevitable questions later.

Yosuke had been training under Master Healer Sora for about 3 weeks and tonight was easily the most exciting night so far. Seeing the son of the former Avatar and the Chief of Police was like seeing a couple of real life celebrities. He was immensely disappointed when his mentor had told he would be sitting out on the healing session with the Chief.

It was about an hour before he caught up with his teacher again. It was the middle of the night now and she looked exhausted. He was pretty tired himself but his excitement and curiosity about their current patient was enough to keep him wide awake.

“How is Chief Beifong? Was she hurt too badly?”

She pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes, sitting down in a chair. After a moment she opened her eyes again and handed him a file.

“She’s lucky her broken ribs didn’t puncture a lung. Again.”

Her tone was exasperated but his eyes widened. A punctured lung was a very serious injury and the Chief of Police had survived one in the past. She obviously picked up on his expression and shook her head, waving a hand.

“Just go put this file away. And then I think we both need to get some sleep.”

He didn’t need telling twice, practically running down the hall to the room where they kept patient records. The records room wasn’t exactly organized. In fact, it had taken him several days to get used to the filing system. Some healers filed patients by just their first name since that was the only name many of their patients had. Others filed by last name first, when a last name was available. It wasn’t uniform and it took him a long time to figure out that he needed to stop trying to make sense of it and just check both places in the alphabet.

He quickly went to where the “B”s were stored and was excited when he quickly found the name Beifong. “Beifong, Lin” was first and his eyes widened again at how big the file was. He also caught a glimpse of an even larger file directly after, labeled “Beifong, Toph”. He felt goosebumps prickle his skin. He sometimes forgot that the legendary benders he heard about growing up were actual, real life people.

He pulled the current Chief Beifong’s folder out and opened it to put the newest file in it. He knew he shouldn’t but curiosity finally got the best of him and Yosuke flipped through some of the older files. He only picked up quick words and notes scribbled in the familiar handwriting of Sora.

 Mild concussion… fractured ribs… broken ribs… significant and inevitable scarring… rare form of poison…

The poison one immediately piqued his interest and he pulled the file to read more.

 “Chief Beifong was brought in, unconscious, by Master Tenzin with textbook symptoms of poison from-“

His reading was cut off by someone clearing their throat loudly. Yosuke turned around quickly to see Sora standing in the doorway with a knowing and somewhat amused look on her face. His face reddened as he closed the file and put it back in the folder. He quietly put it back in place and closed the drawer.

“Sorry, Sifu. I was just cur-“

“-ious. Yes. I gathered as much. Learn anything interesting?”

“That I do not want to get on Chief Beifong’s bad side.”

Sora laughed at that.

“You’ve got no idea, kid.”

She started to say something else but they were interrupted by another healer running up to her, out of breath.

“Sorry to interrupt, Master Sora. But Chief Beifong isn’t in her room.”

Yosuke looked away, trying to hide a smile as his mentor cursed loudly. She let out a frustrated groan before walking quickly back towards the patient rooms. He quickly followed after catching bits of the healer’s grumbling.

“That stubborn idiot!”

They came to an abrupt halt outside her office door. She walked in and around her desk, sitting down and pulling out a piece of paper. She furiously scribbled a note before opening a drawer. She took out a prepared small package and tucked the note inside the edge of the wrapping before holding it out for him to take.

“Would you please send this to this address? And be discreet about it.”

He took the package and waited as she wrote down an address on another piece of paper. He took it from her and she leaned back in her chair, hands clasped and resting on the top of her head. He immediately turned to leave but stopped abruptly as she called out.

“And Yosuke! I mean it about being discreet. I’ve spent many years earning Lin Beifong’s trust. And make sure the note doesn’t fall out!”

He started to move again but had to stop as the note in question slipped from the package. He quickly picked it up and couldn’t help but take a peak before shoving it back inside.

 Lin,

 Don’t move your arm too much and try to lay down so the ribs heal properly this time. You know where I am.

 -Sora

#legend of korra fanfic #lin beifong #my writing

[namjuicyy]

A Father’s Love - Chapter One

Masterlist | Requests are open.

Genre: Angst, fluff, smut.

Genre of this part: Fluff, angst.

Word Count: 1.9k.

Summary: Single father, Namjoon, struggles to keep his idol life and his private life separate. When he meets you, everything changes.

Warnings: None.

New Year's for Koreans was a time for family. It was a time where they would all get together and celebrate a bright new future, filled with wonderfully good luck and great grades for their children. Their children, who under absolutely no circumstances, wished for their photographs to be taken professionally, but were forced to because it's what their parents wanted. And, given that you were one of the best photographers in Seoul, of course it was to you they turned for that extra special something.

It's true, all of your photographs were beautiful. Perfect even. Which is why you'd been backed up, taking New Year's family photographs since October. Your life in the west had meant that for two months solid you'd listen to Christmas music on repeat, and come to loathe the fact that Chris Rea was still driving home for Christmas, and had been since 1988. But your life in the east meant you'd be celebrating New Year before Halloween had even had a look-in. To say Autumn was your busiest time was an understatement. Though, the pay was phenomenal so you found yourself not allowing yourself to complain.

Except for when you had one of those families in. The kind where money wasn't a problem for them and therefore no one appreciated objects as they were completely replaceable. And the fact that that little demon's mother had the audacity to moan when you charged them extra for the backdrop the kid had torn in two drove you up the wall. He, in the space of five minutes, set you back at the very least £50. But, of course, you had to remain level headed and professional despite how that woman grated on your last nerve. Just think of the money. You found yourself repeating that phrase on numerous occasions - when the kids were too loud, or were crying, or just weren't doing as they were told.

It was New Year's Eve, your last full day of work before you took the week off and just lounged in your bedsit for the entirety of the time to just avoid people and recharge your batteries. You were looking forward to vegging out on your bed, watching Netflix and forgetting about all of your problems. And you meant all of them. They were all issues for 2019 to deal with, not for New Year's Day when you were the only sad sack sat at home with two men to keep you company. Your favourite men: Ben and Jerry. Two men who provided you with the most orgasmic sensations without actually touching your hoo-ha.

When ten o'clock struck, you were all but throwing your last customers out, saving your work to your hard drive ready to print them in the New Year. You had just started to dismantle the camera when you heard a knock at the door. "I'm sorry, I'm closing up for the night." You stated. You looked up to see a man, tall, but built well, carrying a small child in his hands. Well, you assumed it was a small child, you couldn't see it properly under the thick parka coat that was covered in a layer of white dusting.

"I know, and I'm really sorry to do this to you, I was just wondering if you could take our pictures? Well, mainly Haneul's." He asked. "I'll pay you double for your time - triple even. It's just my mum's putting a lot of pressure on me this year to get a picture of him... us. I can't say no to her again."

You wanted to say no. Your feet were actually begging you to say no, to tell him to leave and never return. But there was something about him you found it difficult to say no to. The softness in his eyes, his desperate, crooked smile that showed off his dimples as he awkwardly smiled at you in the hopes that you would give him this favour, the sadness in his demeanour. Everything from the snow on their matching coats to the fact that he was protecting his son from the cold with everything he had, just warmed your heart and forced you to take pity on him this cold December night.

"Alright." You relented with a sigh. The light that shone on his face when you agreed was enough to make you forget the promise that he made to pay you triple what you would have earned tonight. "If you could take... Haneul?" He nodded. "If you could take Haneul's coat off and put him on that red chair. What backdrop would you like?"

"Whatever you recommend." He replied. You watched him take Haneul's coat off gently, and holding his face in his hands as he softly looked at his son, muttering something as Haneul rubbed his eyes. The amount of love this man was emitting was extraordinary. No father who had ever come into your studio had ever been as loving as this. Usually his head was in his phone, or his mind had been anywhere but where he was needed. But this father seemed to soothe his child easily, and persuade him to get on the chair with no tears, fuss or problems. This was a breath of fresh air for you.

The man came and stood next to you, admiring his son at your angle. Watching you as you moved towards the child and fixed all the aesthetic issues of his crinkled clothes and messy hair.

You moved back to the camera, looking at the current backdrop and liking how it looked. You asked the father's opinion, to which he agreed, and watched as you began taking photos of his unsmiling toddler. You stopped and sighed. "Come on, Haneul. You're the best kid I've had in here today. You're classy, so I don't want to have to resort to cheap tricks and slapstick comedy. So, kid, you're going to give me the happiest smile, yeah?" Haneul nodded. "Good boy. Show me them teefies."

Haneul laughed at your play on the word teeth, which in turn made both you and his dad laugh. "There we go!" You said. "Beautiful." You went a little click-happy with the pictures, but they were coming out so well you couldn't stop yourself.

You could feel his father's eyes flicking between you and his son, looking at the photos you were taking. In the corner of your eye, you could see a bright smile on his face. He seemed almost shocked when you stopped taking photos to look up at him. He was significantly taller than you, and had a beautiful smile. In an odd way, his smile made him look rather expensive. If, of course, smiles could do that. "Okay, Dad. Your turn."

"Me?"

"Unless Haneul has another father."

He laughed. "Where do you want me?" He began to remove his parka.

"If you could sit on that chair too, and put little one on your lap?"

He did as he was told, walking over to his son with his arms outstretched and a smile on his face, enthusiastically praising his son for behaving so well. He picked him up, sat on the chair, and placed a kiss to his son's head. "Remember to smile, baby."

"Yes, Daddy." Haneul replied. He almost snuggled into his father, completely melting your heart in the process. You had never, in all your years of photography, come across a family who actually physically showed just how much they loved each other in a photograph like this. And it was such a breath of fresh air for you. You almost cried.

"Is this okay?" The father asked.

"This is beautiful." You commented, a hand over your heart and a lump in your throat. There was so much love in the room it was kind of overwhelming.

When you'd finished taking the photos, you invited your customer over to your laptop as you always did at the end of the shoot so they could choose the photos they wanted. The three of you huddled around the dining table you purchased for this very reason, and began to flick through them. Haneul was sat on his father's lap, staring at the screen. His father was also staring at the screen, but had more of a look of awe on his face rather than boredom. "These are extraordinary." He commented. "Absolutely beautiful. Thank you so much."

You smiled. "No, thank you. It's been a pleasure photographing you both today."

"How long have you been doing this?"

"Four years."

"Wow. No wonder you're amazing at what you do."

"Thank you, that's very kind of you." You allowed a short silence to fall over the studio before you turned back to talking about business. "So, which ones would you like me to print?"

"All of them?"

"All of them?" You asked him, the surprise evident in your voice which caused him to laugh.

"I have a big family."

"That's going to cost a lot."

"That's fine."

"Okay, well, if you could fill out this form, please. I need your name, address, contact details and payment method."

He nodded and began to fill out the form, setting Haneul down on the floor whilst he did it. Even while he was concentrating, he still somehow managed to keep an eye on Haneul, watching him toddle around the room and look at different bits and pieces, scolding him softly for touching things he ought not to be touching. He looked at you and rolled his eyes, "three-year-olds." He joked.

"He's a good boy. You've done well."

"Than you. He's a terror really, it's all a façade."

"I don't believe that for a second."

He laughed. "That's because he's good at hiding it, aren't you, baby?"

Haneul nodded and flashed you both a cheeky, yet sleepy grin. "At least he's honest." You added. "I bet he behaves for mum though."

The smile that was on his father's face vanished. "His mother is no longer with us."

"Oh." You said quietly. "I'm so sorry. I should have thought."

"No, you're fine. You weren't to know." He handed you his form. "When will they be ready for collection?"

"Well, I have your details so, I could get them printed tonight and bring them to you tomorrow evening?" You don't know why you said that. You hadn't done that for any of your other customers.

"No, it's New Year's. I couldn't ask you to do that."

"Your mum would prefer some prints, would she not?"

"Well, yeah but-"

"Tomorrow evening it is then. Will you be at your home or hers?"

"Mine. It's my turn to host this year."

"Even better. I will see you tomorrow," you peeked at his form, "Namjoon."

"Are you sure? Don't you have family to spend tomorrow with?"

"I'm positive. And no, they're all back home."

"Thank you. Thank you so much." Namjoon started to put Haneul's coat on him. "You have no idea what this means to me."

"Happy New Year, sir."

"Happy New Year."

When he had his own coat on him, he bade you goodnight, got Haneul to wave to you before leaving your studio, grateful for your kindness at such a late time.

As soon as he'd left, you'd got back to work, printing out the prints that Namjoon had paid for. It wasn't until you looked at the cheque he'd left you, you'd realised just how much he'd given you. Seven million won was way more than what you would have regularly charged. You sat back in your chair and sighed, not quite believing what had just transpired.

#bts #bangtan sonyeondan #kim namjoon #namjoon #joon #namjoon fluff #namjoon smut #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #jin #suga #jhope #jimin #v #jungkook #jk

[future-circuit]

Yugioh Advent Day 4- Time

AO3

Edo was a busy man. His weeks- months- filled to the brim with all sorts of business from interviews to duels to meeting potential sponsors; the list continued endlessly and he found himself with little down time even now as Christmas seemed fast approaching, in fact, he’d hazard to say that there was never a busier time of year. 

“What are you planning on doing this Christmas?” Was an all too common question he’d been receiving recently, as if those asking didn’t know that that was what he was doing for Christmas. ‘That’, of course, being work. Endless amounts of work; though it wasn’t as if he bemoaned his situation, he was quite fine with it, in fact, with no one he necessarily wanted to spend Christmas with and with a love for his job anyway, he didn’t really care. He never did much for Christmas anyway- hadn’t since he was quite young, in fact.

Of course, last year he’d went round to Shou and Ryo’s shared place for Christmas, but that was less of a Christmas celebration and more of a celebration of Ryo getting back into the pro-dueling game than anything else. Besides, it was fun watching him get gradually more annoyed as people continued to fuss over him despite being ‘very capable, thank you very much’, to put it into his own words.

That was a one-off, he told himself more and more as the winter months dragged on, he was an adult now and he wasn’t going to let the prime of his career as a pro duelist be dragged down now, especially now when so many places were willing to book- people would want to go to duels as part of their Christmas gift, after all.

“You’re being too harsh on yourself,” Saiou told him after Edo had finished relaying his plans over tea one afternoon. “You should take the time off now; summer’s the busiest season, why not take time off now so you don’t have to now?” He phrased it as a question but Edo could tell it was meant more as advice.

“How about this,” Edo proposed, not failing to catch that slight alteration in Saiou’s expression that made it clear he thought he’d put some sense into his friend. “I don’t take off time now or during summer.”

“You’ll overwork yourself at this rate, then what will you do?” Saiou placed his teacup on the table as delicately as possible. Edo opened his mouth to speak but a raised hand made him pause for just enough time for Saiou to get another word in.

“You’ll complain to me, that’s what,” he concluded. “Besides, I know you have the possibility for plans- more relaxing ones- if you’d take them.”

“So you got the invite too?” he couldn’t hide the surprise lacing his voice. Saiou didn’t comment, as expected, but hummed in a level tone.

“It was just a formality, I don’t think Fubuki and I ever really held a proper conversation in the first place,” Edo continued on.

“And yet here we are having this discussion.”

Edo scowled. “And yet here I am, telling you again it was just a formality.”

“Perhaps,” Saiou agreed, tea in his hands once more as he broke his sentence with a sip. “Though that doesn’t mean that others won’t be happy to see you there.”

This comment merely earned a roll of the eyes.

“I’m being serious, you know,” the fortune teller continued. “If it’s Fubuki that’s throwing the party then Judai will be there. He’ll be glad to see you, I’m sure.”

“He’d be glad to see anyone,” Edo sniffed dismissively. Saiou didn’t roll his eyes, face still stoic and calm, but if you knew him for as long as Edo had you’d know that he wanted to and was likely doing it mentally.

“Manjoume will probably be there.”

“Maybe,” Edo agreed, “but also maybe not.”

“And how about Ryo then? You went out of your way last year to visit him and his brother for Christmas.”

“That’s false and also a lie-”

“Aren’t they the s-”

“-besides why would I go just because people I’ve spoken to sparingly over the past year are going?”

“Maybe because I’m your friend and you should listen to me when I say you should stop trying to limit who you speak to in favour of working?”

Edo scowled. “I’m not doing that.”

“You are,” Saiou said firmly. “You know you are and I’m just concerned you’re trying to hole yourself up. You’ll end up hurt if you don’t socialise more.”

“I socialise plenty.”

“Galas don’t count.”

“Sure they do, I talk to people thus it’s socialising.”

“You only talk to people who either sponsor you, want to sponsor you or having a good relationship with would benefit you.” Saiou hardened his gaze, clearly getting more and more sick of the roundabout way this conversation was going. Edo hardened his own gaze in retaliation; as if he could break his friend’s resolve. “Not true; I’ve talked to plenty of people at galas just because.”

“Sorry, I forgot that one time seven months ago you and Shou spoke two words to each other before it got so awkward he quite literally ran away.”

“First of all, that’s not at all what happened; second, how did you find out about that?”

Saiou shrugged, hiding a smirk as he took a sip of tea once more, eyes gleaming. “I talk to your manager sometimes, make sure you don’t put yourself into a coma when you go on tour.”

“That doesn’t tell me how you know-”

“Sometimes we exchange blackmail.”

Edo could feel his lips pull down into a frown for what had to be the millionth time. Saiou didn’t say anything and just placed what was now an empty cup on the table, watching for Edo’s next move.

“How very mature of you,” he ended up saying.

“Well, you can be very difficult to handle sometimes.”

“Maybe if you didn’t act like my parent we wouldn’t have this problem.”

“I’m not acting like a parent,” Saiou’s voice gained a slight edge to it that you’d miss if you weren’t attentive enough before it softened just a fraction, “I’m just trying to look out for you. You understand that, right?”

Running a hand down his face with a sigh, Edo grimaced. He did get it- part of him did, anyway- but it was still overbearing and annoying.

The two sat in silence, Saiou looking at him awaiting a response while Edo wondered what it was he could possibly say that didn’t make him sound like a stubborn teenager.

Slowly and carefully, he strung out his thoughts. “I’m an adult now,” he began. “And I appreciate it but you don’t have to parent me.”

“I know I just said it but I’m really not trying to, I’m just trying to be a good friend and look out for you.”

“How about this then; we compromise.” Saiou didn’t make any move to speak so Edo took that as a sign to continue.

“I go to the party and don’t schedule any more events than I already have but only if you come with me to the party.”

Saiou looked vaguely shocked.

“You’re a huge hypocrite- don’t think I haven’t noticed. The only people you talk to are me, your sister and apparently my manager. Going to a social event will do you some good, too.” His nose crinkled at the mention of him talking to his manager.

“I would,” Saiou began, “but I didn’t get an invite.”

Now it was Edo’s turn to look shocked. “But you’re the one that brought it up; how did you know about it if you didn’t get the invite?”

“I told you, I talk with your manager.”

Edo paused for a moment, eyes narrowing for a moment as he deliberated over this. Saiou had that way of knowing stuff he really shouldn’t know even despite claiming not to have any of the powers he once did and he didn’t think his manager knew about it- though that could very well be false.

Either way though, this could be a key moment in getting Saiou to properly socialise for the first time in what was most likely years even if it did come at his expense. He’d really set himself up for a lose:lose situation here, huh?

“I’m sure they won’t mind if you come as my plus one,” he finally found himself saying.

Saiou didn’t seem so sure, his composure barely being held and clearly very uncomfortable with the idea of not only being around so many people at once but so many people he’d met during such a terrible stage in his life.

“Nothing bad will happen,” he found himself insisting, now in what had been Saiou’s position just moments before. “Not when I’m there.”

Saiou made a very deliberate and very long pause to think about it, conflict clear within his eyes as he stared into the empty teacup on the table in front of him.

“You’ll keep your side of the bargain if I go?”

“I’m not one for breaking my word.”

A deep breath. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt any then.”

Edo finally allowed himself to smile as the tension from the conversation seemed to drop considerably if not completely. Maybe now wouldn’t be the best time to mention that there hadn’t been a mention of a plus one on the invite- well, they do say that what they don’t know won’t hurt them, right?

#yugioh advent #yugioh gx #yellow writes #shorter than i'd like but it's decent so i can't complain #well i can but not too much

[allenmendezsr]

Metabolic Stretching

New Post has been published on https://autotraffixpro.app/allenmendezsr/metabolic-stretching/

Metabolic Stretching

 Buy Now

    For men and women who want to shift stubborn body fat, without spending hours exercising

Your Way Lean

St. Petersburg, FL, Wednesday January 20, 2021

Dear Friend,

I know how it feels when you look in the mirror and what you see looking back is a body you’re not happy with.

I know how it feels when you pull on your favorite pants and there’s zero chance that zipper is moving.

I know how it feels when your kids or grandkids playfully joke about your widening waist (And, of course, they’re not being mean… just telling you the brutal truth)

You know you need to do something.

What’s more, you WANT to do something.

But wanting to lose weight, drop fat and get back to being lean again is one thing…

… finding the time and energy to do it is a whole different challenge.

Life is hard enough. Between working and living, rushing around trying to squeeze in gym time or a workout in your already busy day seems insane.

Or imagine also starving yourself on the latest extreme diet favored by a Hollywood star.

(Sure, those diets work for skinny 20- somethings but sure don’t do a thing for the rest of us.)

The problem is we’ve been led to believe there’s only one way to get slim. And that’s the HARD WAY.

The harder, the more extreme, the more complicated… the better. Even if it means killing yourself to get to the gym, busting your butt running or following a super-strict eating plan.

Fortunately, I’m here to reveal a discovery to you that may just be the most important news you read this year. It’s a discovery the fitness industry is desperate to keep under wraps as it turns our understanding of what a program should be on its head.

So let me ask you…

What if there was a way to quickly and easily improve your flexibility while TORCHING fat and building STRENGTH?

Seems too good to be true, doesn’t it? But don’t let that fool you.

We discovered a way of blending flexibility training with a calorie-burning movement pattern you’ve never seen before. The good news is…

…It doesn’t require any equipment — it’s completely bodyweight focused so you’re BUILDING muscle and BURNING fat while you move.

…It’s not boring. No more endless hours on a treadmill or elliptical trainer wishing you were anywhere but there.

…And it is simple and straight forward to do. In fact, you can fit this into the busiest schedule and don’t need hundreds of videos and manuals to explain all the moves.

It’s NOT some bizarre or complicated system and it’s hardly groundbreaking. In fact, you will probably recognize many of the exercises.

What makes this revolutionary is the way we’ve combined simple exercises into one powerful movement sequence you will actually enjoy doing.

Even if you’ve already tried everything to lose weight, shift stubborn belly fat and tone up and failed… this is different.

I’ll explain exactly what this is all about in a moment.

But first, let me introduce myself…

My name is Brian Klepacki, aka Coach Brian. I’m a fat loss and functional movement coach for Critical Bench, the Internet’s longest-standing strength site.

I’m a certified strength and conditioning specialist with a Masters Degree in Exercise Science.

I’ve been in the trenches applying the latest principles and theories with athletes, body builders and fitness models to test what works and what doesn’t. And whether it’s competing as a triathlete or for my own strength training, I apply all training principles on myself. (I’m my own guinea pig!)

I take a purposeful approach to developing workout programs and a simple philosophy: purpose over preference.

That’s how we developed best-selling programs, like Unlock Your Glutes, that have helped thousands of men and women finally build a stronger body in less time.

In my 17 years working with private clients, I’ve seen it all. I’ve seen the aftermath of the fitness industries peddling of misinformation and myths.

It angers me to see ordinary hard working men and women trying to get fitter and feel better become trapped in a cycle of trying to lose weight.

And all while sacrificing their time doing what really matters to them… just because they have been caught in a trap by the misinformation from the fitness industry.

What the fitness industry wants you to believe

It’s not your fault.

You’ve been led to believe there are only a few ways to cut body fat and get in the shape you want to.

The billion dollar fitness industry has spent billions promoting this misinformation. It needs you to believe losing weight and getting in shape requires tons of time, tons of effort and… of course… tons of money. Your money.

If you ever want to discover the real agenda, ask the question “who gains from this advice being given?”.

In every situation, it’s the fitness industry. Celebrity trainers gain if you don’t get results. Equipment and supplement companies gain if you don’t get results. If all their advice worked, everyone would be walking around slim, healthy and happy.

Think about it. If their advice worked, why are there more obese Americans than ever? Why are more people being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes?

Everyone knows they need to be fitter, more flexible and healthier… yet the statistics keep stacking up.

It all comes back to three BIG lies the fitness industry has been telling for decades that hides one big lie.

Remember, the fitness industry spends billions to push this misinformation so please don’t feel bad about not seeing it this way before (but I’ll sure understand if you’re angry)

The good news is once you see these lies for what they are, they no longer hold any power over you.

So let’s confront these right now…

3 Insanely Powerful Lies the Weight Loss Industry Needs You To Believe

Weight Loss Lie #1 You need to starve yourself on a crash diet

In fact, extreme dieting has been proven to be HARMFUL to your health. Sure, you drop weight within days and weeks of starving yourself but who wouldn’t, right?

The danger with extreme dieting is your body doesn’t get enough essential nutrients, minerals and vitamins. And, most importantly, your body doesn’t get enough protein. Protein contains essential amino acids which are vital for supporting your body and muscle growth.

You may lose some body fat during a starvation diet, but you may also lose muscle which will account for MORE of the weight loss.

If your body drops muscle, your body’s basal metabolic rate drops. This means your body will naturally burn LESS fat. When you start eating normally again you quickly put the weight back on.

Your body also experiences metabolic adaptation. Your body kicks into its natural survival mode and becomes more efficient due to calorie deprivation. It needs less energy to survive. To continue dropping fat, you have to starve yourself even more.

Dieting actually CHANGES your brain’s response to food. When you deprive your body of calories, your levels of the hormone leptin drop (the hormone that makes you feel full) while ghrelin increases (the hormone that makes you feel hungry). Even when you eat, if you’ve been restricting your calories severely, you’ll still be left with feelings of hunger.

The truth – don’t deprive your body of food

Sure, diet is important. I don’t need to tell you jelly donuts and soda all day aren’t going to help you get that six pack. But it is madness to suggest you need some of these insane, starvation diets to shift your spare tire or drop a few pounds.

A simple, regular movement pattern designed to raise your heart rate, boost your metabolism and maintain muscle every day will help move you towards the body you always wanted WITHOUT depriving your body of food.

Weight Loss Lie #2 You need high intensity 12 week “shreds”

This is such a crazy myth.

The multi-billion dollar fitness industry with its supplement companies and endorsed pumped up trainers needs you to believe in the myth of the intense program.

If you can only get a grip for 12 weeks on your diet and tough your way through it, you can get the body you want.

Sure, sounds great.

But it NEVER works out that way.

Here’s why it’s not realistic. 12-week intense programs are great for exercise enthusiasts that love working out for hours and hours a week. They can stay committed for the long term and stick to a super strenuous high intensity training program.

However most people have other priorities and don’t have the time or interest to devote that much time daily to working out.

For people over 35 years old the high intensity stuff also puts a lot of un-needed wear and tear on their joints which just adds to the aches and pains.

The truth – you can notice results in as little as 14 days

With the right program targeted in the right way you can see results in 14 days or even less.

You don’t need jacked-up high intensity workouts that leave you exhausted and unable to move a muscle for the rest of the day

You don’t need complicated gym programs that you need a PhD to understand, cost a ton in membership and take up hours stuck in a loud, sweaty gym.

You can get good, perfectly achievable results with simple, straightforward moves that are realistic for people with busy lives.

Which brings us to the third biggie…

Weight Loss Lie #3 You need to spend hours doing cardio every day

There’s nothing more soul destroying than looking at a program and seeing hours and hours of your week dedicated to cardio.

What this means is spending a good chunk of your life on…

… Treadmills

… Cross trainers

… Endless jogging

Burning body fat is a product of an elevated heart rate. If your body needs an elevated heart rate to burn calories, cardio is like a blunt weapon.

Cardio is effective IF you have hours and hours of your week available to do it.

But the only people who can dedicate the time to do it this way are pro athletes and fitness models who do this for a living.

If your goal is to burn body fat and get lean, hours of cardio isn’t the answer for most of us.

The truth – 15 minutes of exercises can increase your metabolism

Cardio works by raising your heart rate. A raised heart rate fires your metabolism and burns calories. And burning calories burns fat.

If you find a program that simply raises your heart rate on a regular basis for as little as 15 minutes a day, you WILL increase your metabolism and burn more fat.

In summary we know we don’t need hours of cardio, we don’t need to starve ourselves and we don’t need a 12-week high intensity program to see results and body you desire.

So what is the answer to these lies?

We want something that is effective, simple and doesn’t leave us feeling too exhausted.

This accidental revelation transformed how we look at fat burning

You know you need to improve and maintain your flexibility and mobility.

I’m not telling you anything new. And we both know the best way to improve your flexibility is through stretching.

But here’s what’s interesting. Stretching is also the key to unlocking unlimited weight loss and fat burning. It’s always been there… we’ve just been looking at stretching the wrong way.

We know stretching exercises are great for flexibility… now, we know they can flip the switch on your body’s fat burning engine.

Working with hundreds of clients over the last 17 years, one of the biggest areas of focus is on improving overall fitness and helping my clients be more mobile.

I don’t need to give you the stats on why we need to stay flexible and loose, especially as we get older. Flexibility is one of the three pillars of fitness along with strength and endurance.

Working with clients on their flexibility brought me a breakthrough that shifted how we approach weight loss.

I stumbled upon this discovery when I fused together a unique flexibility routine for a client who simply didn’t have the time in his day but needed to torch fat fast while adding mobility.

When confronted with a challenge, my first move is to go to proven research and the latest exercise science. In my research around stretching, I made an important connection.

The secret to flexibility and burning fat is the SAME: Movement

When we think about becoming more flexible, our first thought is stretching. And, in particular, static stretching.

It figures. Static stretching is what we’ve been told to do since high school. It usually means stretching one particular muscle and holding it in the stretch for around 30 seconds. Static stretching aims to lengthen the muscle to make it more elastic.

Flexibility is different. Flexibility is all about range of motion around a joint.

Mobility, on the other hand, is the ability to move freely and easily.

Static stretching alone cannot improve flexibility. The secret to flexibility is MOVEMENT.

Only movement of a joint extends its range of motion and improves flexibility. And, of course, ANY movement burns calories. So movement is central to both burning calories and creating a program that delivers flexibility gains.

It all comes down to metabolism. When your metabolism is fired up, you burn more calories. And that’s when we made this really cool discovery…

This one specific way of stretching can torch body fat and burn calories up to 3x more effectively than any other stretch

When we looked at the research, we found study after study saying the same thing. While static stretching has benefits, dynamic stretching and movement is the key to putting a torch to body fat while improving flexibility.

You can’t argue with the numbers. Static stretching burns 120 calories an hour. Dynamic stretching blasts through 400 calories per hour.

Dynamic stretching isn’t just swinging your legs or hips to warm up. Dynamic stretching like lunges and rotations can be used alongside other low-impact, movement-based activities to burn fat while improving flexibility.

Through movement, we kickstart our metabolism and shift it up a gear so we’re burning more calories than normal. Dynamic stretches emphasize movements across our full range of motion which last longer and increase metabolism.

Compared with static stretching, dynamic stretching also improves muscular performance allowing you to work harder and heavier.

All the evidence backs movement-based flexibility and that’s when we started looking at how to create a program based on these principles, using dynamic stretching and movement.

A smart new method that uses stretching to burn fat like you’ve never seen before

By taking the best stretching protocols and building a powerful flow so they are performed one after the other with little rest, it was possible to switch on the body’s fat burning machine and send your metabolism soaring.

With every program I develop, I need to see with my own eyes that it is effective, safe and appropriate to apply in a training context.

For me, it’s a simple two step process:

Step 1: Identify the most effective training modalities based on the latest science

Step 2: Test variations in a real training environment

And that’s exactly what we did. First, we identified the right modalities, drawing from different disciplines to find dynamic, movement based flexibility training that brought flexibility benefits while jacking up your fat burning capabilities.

Introducing the world’s most powerful fat-burning stretches

We’ve unashamedly plundered exercises from the world’s best fitness modalities designed to improve your mobility and flexibility. We hand-picked only the exercises that burned the most calories and torched the most fat.

Calisthenics

Bodyweight-focused movements that deliver strength, dynamic flexibility and burn more calories than any other exercise combined. With natural movement patterns and gravity, calisthenics uses simple moves to build a foundation of strength and flexibility for the body. Calisthenics is almost a complete exercise in burning calories, switching up your metabolism, improving endurance and building muscle to, ultimately, burn even more calories.

Dynamic Stretching

As we’ve already mentioned, dynamic stretching can burn up to 3x the calories of static stretching. Dynamic moves are slow, controlled movements that stay within your range of motion, working to increase your reach and speed of movement. One review published in the British Journal of Sports Medicine across 31 studies found a warm-up using dynamic flexibility exercises also enhanced power and strength performance.

Kickboxing

When it comes to creating movement to burn calories while enhancing flexibility, little can beat kickboxing’s explosive power and metabolic burn. One research study showed that five weeks of kickboxing training brought significant improvements in flexibility, speed, agility and upper body muscle power.

Mobility Stretching

Mobility is different from flexibility. Having good mobility means being able to perform a movement without any restriction. Mobility exercises help improve flexibility and function at any age and that’s why this is an important component of a fat-burning, flexibility flow.

Fascia Stretching

Fascia is the tight connective tissue surrounding every one of your muscles that holds them in place. But there’s a negative side to this. If your fascia is too tight it restricts muscle growth. Incorporating fascia stretching into your program releases tension, allows muscle to grow and cranks up your metabolism.

Breathing Techniques

Don’t believe something as everyday as breathing can help you feel looser AND burn calories? Think again. For 1000s of years, ancient martial arts used breathing practices to lengthen muscles in the chest and core. Done properly, these simple but powerful moves flood your body and muscles with oxygen, stretch the chest cavity and fire up your metabolism. And all you have to do is breathe.

Pilates

The Mayo Clinic defines Pilates as, “a method of exercise that consists of low-impact flexibility and muscular strength and endurance movements. Pilates emphasizes proper postural alignment, core strength and muscle balance.” Originally used by athletes to build core strength, Pilates has been revealed as an effective low-impact way to also reduce body fat mass.

Yoga

While the ancient practice of yoga used to be more associated with chanting and meditation, through its stretching protocols more are catching onto its calorie-burning benefits. There are many styles of yoga from the gentle through to heart-pounding, leg-behind-your-head styles that leave you in a pool of sweat. But there are some which are perfect for a fat-burning, flexibility routine.

As you can see, these aren’t crazy-difficult stretches that no-one but fitness pros can do. These are simple, straightforward stretches you may have already heard of. And they work.

I want to reinforce this point to you: there is nothing complicated or special about the exercises themselves.

However, there is one stretch which is king of all others. And I’m going to reveal it to you now…

Revealed! The World’s Greatest Fat-Burning Stretch

This stretch hits EVERY part of the body in one go. It’s exactly the kind of stretch that we “stole” to include in our powerful movement flow.

The reason it’s the world’s greatest? It literally works everything.

Back, legs, shoulders, your spine, arms… EVERYTHING.

Try it for yourself and you quickly see why.

Don’t worry if the above stretch looks too advanced. You can still burn a LOT of fat with the modified version below:

This stretch is just one of the key movements we’ve included in this fat-burning, flexibility program.

For each area, we selected a range of moves and tested a combination in real-life training on clients. This way we finally cracked the code on combining fat-burning movement with flexibility training.

You’ll perform the right movements in the right order to “unlock” tightness and improve flexibility, while burning a ton of calories.

Of course, designing a program that works is one hurdle. Designing a program you actually use is another. And – as all good trainers know — the best program is the one you use.

When you’re progressing with a program that isn’t delivering results quickly, no matter how much your trainer implores you to persevere, it’s going to be hard.

How much more likely would you be to stick to a fat-burning flexibility program where…

…you FEEL yourself getting stronger.

…you EXPERIENCE all the tightness and stiffness drain from your muscles.

…and WATCH your body change before you as you burn fat and become leaner.

You can get the lean, toned physique you always wanted using simple, straightforward stretches anyone can do without having to spend hours doing boring cardio or working out like a fitness competitor.

Introducing

The Complete Fat-Burning, Flexibility Program Designed To Torch Calories Through A Simple, Powerful 15-Minute Stretching Routine

This program contains everything you need to stretch your way to being leaner, fitter and stronger thanks to its serious metabolic benefits.

From each of the techniques, we selected the ten most effective, efficient movements. We chose these based on practicality, ease of performance and fat-burning flexibility.

We’ve added TWO bonus moves specifically designed to turn up the heat on your metabolism and melt fat while you stretch it out.

The program has two parts — a beginners workout and advanced workout. Both workouts utilize the same modalitiestraining modalities for greatest effect, while the advanced version dials up the intensity for faster fat burn and flexibility gains.

The beginner program can be completed in just 15 minutes incorporating gentle moves that boost your metabolism.

If you’re ready to jump in and get going, the 30-minute advanced workout will challenge even the most hardened fitness enthusiast. (Look, this is hard for me and my clients… but, man, it gets results.)

The movements are simple and easy to execute. You don’t need equipment or weights. The moves take up little room, and you can perform the entire workout in a small space. You can work through the program at the gym, at home or even a hotel room when you’re on the move.

If you’re new to flexibility or stretching programs, we recommend starting with the beginner’s workout. After a few sessions, it will be clear how quickly you can progress. If you need to scale up, we’ve made it really clear how, so you’re always challenged to make progress.

Here’s exactly what you get when you invest in the program:

The Metabolic Stretching Coaching Videos

I don’t need to tell you that form is essential to get the best from every movement. In the Metabolic Stretching Workout Videos, I walk you through every single move. I explain in detail how each move is performed, what to do at the beginning and end, how each stretch should feel and how to avoid common mistakes.

The way I demonstrate each move in these videos is the next best thing to having me right there personally training you (without paying me my $300-an-hour coaching fee!)

Fast results are dependent on getting form right first time. Filmed at our state of the art fitness facility, The Compound in Clearwater, Florida, each video is shot in super-clear HD from multiple angles. There will be no doubt around how to perform each move as we’ve covered every angle.

The Metabolic Stretching Follow Along Videos

When you’re ready to get going, simply use the Metabolic Stretching Follow Along Videos where you can follow along to the complete routines at the same time our fitness model performs them in real time.

This allows you to get the whole sequence down without any confusion about what you’re supposed to do and how. Simply hit play and do the exercises at the same time as our fitness model. Results guaranteed.

Here’s what Metabolic Stretching students are saying…

It Feels Like a Yoga Fat Burning Workout

“I found the Metabolic Stretching routine to be a perfect fit for my needs. It focuses on both joint mobility and muscle flexibility. I actually do the beginner routine as my warm up and the advanced routine on its own day as a stand alone workout. I urge anyone to spend time doing a stretching program like this to feel and move better.”

Joyce Lynnette Berry Fitness Enthusiast

Great for Busy Moms

“As a busy working Mom not only is keeping fit and healthy a number one priority for me, but keeping my body limber and toned is as well.

This program doesn’t just deliver on its promise to melt fat and tone muscles in just 15 minutes … it OVER DELIVERS! This is hands down the best 15-minute workout and stretching routine I have found that does everything that I want in a at home workout.

If you are serious about hitting your fat burning goals and maintaining them, the Metabolic Stretching program is exactly what you’ve been looking for.”

Tonya Fines, BSc, PE Holistic Health Practitioner

Develops & Tones Muscles

“As a Yoga teacher, I intimately understand the need for flexibility, mobility and balance. The Metabolic Stretching program does a phenomenal job at mixing in traditional calisthenics with dynamic stretching and yoga-like movement patterns to fully develop and tone the muscles.

I would recommend these routines to anyone looking to live a more active lifestyle.”

Jenn Witaconis 200 RYT

Super Fun & Easy

“The #1 thing anyone can do every day of their life to improve overall health and function is to move. Nothing outrageous, just some total body movements that help connect and strengthen the body.

Metabolic Stretching is an outstanding collection of stretches and exercises designed to restore balance, increase strength and hopefully get people interested in living a more active lifestyle.”

Dr. Ron Eccles Business Coach & Chiropractor

Plus You Can Accelerate Your Way To a Leaner More Flexible Body With These Two Limited FAST-ACTION Bonuses, Worth $94, When You Purchase Metabolic Stretching TODAY

BONUS 1: The Metabolic Stretching Exercise Definition Guide (value $47)

Sometimes you don’t have time to watch videos, and when time is short, you need to get it done as quickly as possible. The Metabolic Stretching package also contains the Metabolic Stretching Exercise Definition Guide featuring every single exercise broken down and explained in detail.

This guide contains full-color photographic images as I show you through each stage of each movement, including the start and end position. Accompanying the visuals are a written instructional breakdown of how to perform each movement.

The manual also contains detailed information on the workout parameters behind the program, so you know exactly why we’ve chosen the specific moves featured in Metabolic Stretching.

BONUS 2: The 3-Minute Back Pain Stretching Protocol (value $47)

Over 31 million Americans suffer from back pain. As you’ve probably heard sitting so much is terrible for our posture and causes our muscles to tighten up around the lower back.

That’s why my clients always warm up with my 3-minute back pain stretching flow.

It can be performed in a seated position or on the floor and has been proven to eliminate back pain issues in most of my clients. It’s also a great micro-stretching session you can do while at work if you start feeling stiff.

If I were to pick the three best stretches for back pain this would be them!

Here are just some of the benefits when you invest in Metabolic Stretching:

Reduce the time you spend working on fat burning sessions and stretching by combining both into one powerful workout.

Unconsciously improve your flexibility with a focus on body conditioning. You’ll love the Metabolic Stretching workout so much you won’t even realize you’re making strength and flexibility gains.

Finally, do something about your flexibility “gap”. If flexibility has been your weakness, how long will you leave it before doing something? Here’s your chance to get a handle on the problem and burn serious calories in every workout.

Start “remodeling” your muscles, so they don’t lose any more elasticity while toning up, building strength and melting off excess fat.

Stop wasting time with half-arsed aerobic exercises or jogging that only scratches the surface of what you need to do to get lean. If you’re going to fix this issue, Metabolic Stretching shows you how to do it properly.

Get the jump on everyone else who hasn’t figured out the power of simple stretches to burn calories and, in the process, improve flexibility, improve blood flow and increase muscle mass.

Tone Your Abs, Legs & Arms

“I’ve always loved working out in the gym but finding time to exercise gets trickier as life gets busier. Even sneaking in a 10-15 minute workout can be enough to give me the boost I need each day. I came across the Metabolic Stretching routine and was instantly excited.

The 10-minute routines made for a great quick round of movements to do when time is limited. It’s the perfect blend of total body exercises that get my abs, legs and arms LEAN using only my body weight. I look forward to doing these almost daily because I feel more energized and ready to take on the day. Thank you so much!”

Stephany Strul Figure Competitor

Yoga Instructor Approved!

“I’m a yoga teacher and long time fitness junkie. I just love to be active, move well and be strong. Funny thing is most guys I talk to aren’t too sure about doing Yoga but they understand they need to be flexible.

So I immediately saw the value in the Metabolic Stretching routines because it offers flexibility training combined with balance and some body weight strength exercises. It’s like mixing yoga with calisthenics. Honestly, I’d recommend this program to anyone looking to be more physically active who realizes that moving better equals living a better life!”

Zach Zenios RYT-200

More Energy & Less Stiffness

“Exercise is not something I’m great at sticking to. I know I need it but I’m not good at making time for it and I’m sick of making excuses.

A friend of mine had me read about this 10 minute “stretching” routine I could do from home that’s kind of exercise and stretching mixed together. It looked interesting so I went for it.

I must say I was impressed that I could do everything the first time. No heavy weights or equipment, just my own body. I felt better afterwards and now it’s part of my morning almost every day. I’m feeling more energy and my knees and hips feel less stiff.”

Jeff Souvenir Videographer

Donna Clements

Awesome! Thank you. I have issues with my shoulders ALMOST 24/7. I do believe this 1 minute routine is a Godsend!

4 months ago

Jose Alvarez Torres

It’s been a while since the last time I comment on your videos. This one deserves a 👍 excellent warming routing Coach Brian!

9 months ago

Kelly Dukepoo

Perfect timing! I worked my legs y’day. I need this!

1 month ago

Ms E

Thank you. I love the stretch exercises you teach. Have a great Saturday!

1 month ago

Dale Nelsoin

Sooo glad I found this page. You definitely give practical and useful advice which I use daily in my own workout routine. Please keep em coming!

9 months ago

bro broski

This warm up is amazing, simple but effective, been doing this with my clients and they love it!

4 months ago

Tamra

Love this! I already do several of these everyday part of my warmup

4 months ago

Blanca Ureña

Wow excelente entrenamiento, gracias Coach Brian!!👏👏👏👏

9 months ago

Rebekah-Chris S-K

Thanks did this and really worked great

4 months ago

pedro parrilla ramon

Fantásticos ejercicios para mantener una excelente forma física y trabajar todo el cuerpo, muchas gracias por estos buenos consejos, salu2 desde España!!!

10 months ago

I promise you better flexibility and a powerful metabolic burn… or I’ll give you all your money back

I’m confident Metabolic Stretching will transform how you approach exercise. That’s why I want to make this decision as risk-free as possible for you.

If you’re anything like me, you’re skeptical. How is this program going to be any different from what you’ve already seen, right? I don’t blame you for thinking that.

I want to give you the opportunity to test Metabolic Stretching for a full 60 days risk-free. Experience for yourself why this is above and beyond anything you’ve seen before. Take the time to figure out the best way to use Metabolic Stretching in your weekly training. You WILL experience serious improvements in flexibility while burning a ton of fat.

If it doesn’t work for you or if you don’t enjoy any part of the program, no worries. Call our friendly customer support team within 60 days and let us know you want a refund. We’ll give you back every penny, no questions asked.

Are You Ready For the Last Fat Loss Program You’ll Ever Buy?

I can’t continue letting misinformation sabotage the results of men and women committed to being the best they can be. That’s why we’re launching Metabolic Stretching at a crazy-low price to make this a no-brainer and get this into your hands.

I know the work we’ve done to develop our sequence is worth thousands of dollars more than we’ll ever charge for the program.

That doesn’t worry us. Right now, our mission is to spread the Metabolic Stretching message to as many people, like you, as we can.

When Metabolic Stretching goes on general sale to the public, it will retail for $50.

But today, right now, you can secure your copy of Metabolic Stretching for just $29.

Plus if you take action today, you’ll receive the complete Metabolic Stretching program, every walk-through video for every exercise on the program and the TWO powerful bonuses to amplify your results (valued at $94).

That’s $144 of value for just $29 for a very limited time.

That’s less than the cost of a book on Amazon about stretching or fat burning… if you could even find one. But I know no-one else has figured out the key to burning fat with stretching through a program like this, based on science and real-life testing on my athletes.

Also, if you wanted to work with me individually, you’ll pay upwards of $300 an hour to learn from me what I’m basically showing you in this program. It sounds like I’m talking myself out of work… but this program is just too important to keep to myself.

Now Is The Time To Finally Get The Body You Deserve!

CLAIM YOUR COPY WITH FREE BONUSES NOW

Wait! You Qualify for the One Day Discount… (Applying Now)

I’ve shown you this program will help you whether you’re a complete beginner who’s never set foot in a gym or if you’re someone who works out seven days a week and is looking for an edge.

Blasting fat through this unique stretching protocol delivers results. We’ve proven that. And with this program even if you don’t think you can get results, with consistent, focused application you’ll see results in no time.

Metabolic Stretching turns on its head what we’ve come to expect of a fat-burning program. That’s why I explained exactly why we’re offering you the chance to buy the program at an exclusive low price. And I’ve explained how we’ve reversed the risk so you can test this on your schedule to see the difference it makes.

You have only two choices in front of you right now

Let’s face it. You have wanted to lose weight and get lean for a long time, but for some reason, it hasn’t happened.

You feel it every day. Especially when you’re standing in front of the mirror. Or when you’re slipping into your pants that are getting tighter and tighter. Or when you strip down at the pool or at the beach.

All the workouts, programs and get-lean-quick gimmicks you’ve ever done have come to nothing.

It’s understandable that faced with all that, you would choose to DO NOTHING. And, instead, hope that one day you will find the time in your schedule to finally get a grip on this.

You could try and go and do this on your own. There’s a ton of information online, if you have hours to sift through it to separate what works from what’s trash. What you may never figure out is our “special sauce” — the exact sequence we have developed and tested that unlocks the fat-burning power of stretching.

I don’t want you to finish reading this and look back in a year’s time and wish you’d started NOW.

So here’s the other choice and the one I hope you make today.

Take me up on our exclusive launch price of just $29 today. Try it risk-free. Get started right away… because the sooner you start, the sooner you’ll get the results you want.

Here’s how you can save with Metabolic Stretching today

Instant Access to the Digital Version Only

Get a digital copy of Metabolic Stretching and Bonuses available for instant download anywhere in the world.

Download it to your computer, mobile or tablet device for instant enjoyment!

Your Discounted Price: $29

Add To Cart

Click Here To Order

Physical DVD

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Free

Instant Access to the Digital Versions + Free Bonuses

Get your physical copy of Metabolic Stretching includes the DVD shipped directly to your home.

…PLUS instantly download the digital versions and bonuses absolutely free

Your Discounted Price:

$50 $29

+$7.95 S&H

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Click Here To Order

Once your order is completed, look out for the welcome email in your inbox. Use these to gain instant access to the Metabolic Stretching program in minutes.

Remember, the best time to get started is TODAY

Jump on this right now and imagine how you’ll feel in 30 days time. In only a few workouts I guarantee you will not only feel the difference but see the difference, too. But it starts today. It starts right now.

Let’s do this!

Move Well. Look Well. Live Well.

Coach Brian

Brian Klepacki

Brian Klepacki, MS, CSCS, FMS, CISSN Fat Loss & Functional Movement Specialist

P.S. Test Metabolic Stretching for 60 days and discover the simple, easy way to burn calories, melt fat and finally get the lean physique you really want without working out 20 hours a day.

If you know you need to shift pounds and have tried time and again with programs that drag on or force you to starve yourself or just plain suck, here is the program you’ve been searching for.

Finally, get the program designed to boost your metabolism through simple stretching exercises for only $29 today.

Use this program for up to 60 days and if you don’t feel it’s worth every penny, claim back every penny with our 100% money back guarantee.

WBFF Fitness Pro Approved

“I love health & fitness and I personally use the Metabolic Stretching workouts at home when I”m too busy to get the gym.

Sometimes I even use them as my finisher at the end of my regular workouts.

My favorite part about the workout is that I get my heart rate up and increase my metabolism while also increasing my flexibility at the same time.”

Vania Bradway WBFF Fitness Pro, Online Physique Coach

I Love Burning Fat At Home!

“I’ve learned that exercise and workout programs are only beneficial if you actually stick with them! So much of what’s out there is either too aggressive or requires special equipment… those aren’t for me.

What attracted me to the Metabolic Stretching routine is that it’s based on body weight only exercises that I can do at home. As a Mom of 2 boys and a girl, I have barely any time but I need something to keep me moving and burning fat.

I needed a routine I can do anywhere 2-3 days per week to get me more active, feeling better and dropping some pounds. I found these stretches to be super fun and easy to do in my own living room.”

Lauren Wilson Busy Mother of 3

Instant Access to the Digital Version Only

Get a digital copy of Metabolic Stretching and Bonuses available for instant download anywhere in the world.

Download it to your computer, mobile or tablet device for instant enjoyment!

Your Discounted Price: $29

Add To Cart

Click Here To Order

Physical DVD

Plus

Free

Instant Access to the Digital Versions + Free Bonuses

Get your physical copy of Metabolic Stretching includes the DVD shipped directly to your home.

…PLUS instantly download the digital versions and bonuses absolutely free

Your Discounted Price:

$50 $29

+$7.95 S&H

Add To Cart

Click Here To Order

FAQ about Metabolic Stretching

Q: Why should I buy this over other fat burning programs?

Traditional fat burning programs rely on one of two approaches. They either insist on a ton of cardio, which can take hours of your time, or high-intensity interval training, which leaves you sapped of energy. Metabolic Stretching is totally different from any program you’ve seen before. The program delivers everything you need to torch stubborn body fat and get leaner, fitter and stronger by following a simple stretching routine.

Q: Who is this program suitable for?

This program is suitable for anyone who wants to strip away body fat and get a lean, toned physique without having to resort to hours of cardio, starving themselves or working out like a beast. Metabolic Stretching is suitable for every level of fitness. Even if you’ve never been to a gym or followed a program before, the exercises are simple and easy to follow. If you know your way around the gym and have experience with workouts, you can use the Advanced workouts to deliver higher intensity. Everyone can burn calories and become fitter, stronger and more flexible with this program.

Q: Can I do this program even if I’m injured?

We would always advise consulting your doctor before undertaking any physical activity. However, because this is a low impact stretching program, not only does it allow you to put a fire under your metabolism even if you can’t do cardio or HIIT, it will also reduce the chances of injury in the first place. If you are suffering from injury, we would suggest starting on the Beginner workout and building up, depending on how you feel.

Q: Do I need any specialist equipment?

No. You don’t need any specialist equipment or weights. Metabolic Stretching has been designed so you can follow the program wherever you are, whether you’re traveling, at the office or at home. Its series of movements are simple and easy to execute. They can be performed in a small space and don’t require much room to complete each workout.

Q: Can I use this as a standalone program?

Yes! The Metabolic Stretching program can be used at the end of your regular workout routine or you can use it as a standalone fat-burning workout. You can scale the intensity of your workout up and down depending on whether you are completing other workout activities or just the Metabolic Stretching program. You have complete control.

Q: Is this suitable for a complete beginner?

Absolutely. The program is split into two workouts – Beginner and Advanced. All the exercises within both workouts are the same. The Advanced version is simply a more intense version of the Beginner workout. Both deliver the same powerful, metabolism-boosting benefits. If you’re new to exercise, this is perfect. The workout is simple and easy to follow and can be completed in just 15 minutes.

Q: I’m not flexible at all. Will this still work for me?

Of course. The great thing about the Metabolic Stretching program is that it improves your flexibility while burning stubborn body fat. You don’t need to be flexible to start… but you’ll certainly become more flexible when you follow the program. Good flexibility is a sign of good health. The more you work on becoming more flexible, the better you feel.

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References for Metabolic Stretching

Flexibility – UC Davis Sports Medicine, https://health.ucdavis.edu/sportsmedicine/resources/flexibility_descriprion.html

Benefits of flexibility exercises – Harvard Health Publishing, https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/benefits-of-flexibility-exercises

Poor trunk flexibility is associated with arterial stiffening – American Journal of Physiology, https://www.physiology.org/doi/full/10.1152/ajpheart.00061.2009

Stretching: Focus on flexibility – Mayo Clinic, https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/fitness/in-depth/stretching/art-20047931

Stretching Before and After Exercise: Effect on Muscle Soreness and Injury Risk – Journal of Athletic Training, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1250267/

Effects of static stretching for 30 seconds and dynamic stretching on leg extension power – The Journal of Strength and Conditioning Research, https://eprints.lib.hokudai.ac.jp/dspace/handle/2115/17085

The complete guide to calisthenics – Men’s Health, https://www.menshealth.com/uk/building-muscle/a759641/complete-guide-to-calisthenics-everything-you-need-to-know/

A systematic review of the effects of upper body warm-up on performance and injury – British Journal of Sports Medicine, https://bjsm.bmj.com/content/49/14/935

The effects of five weeks of kickboxing training on physical fitness – Muscles, Ligaments & Tendons Journal, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4187584/

5 Joint Mobility Exercises to Improve Flexibility and Function – Healthline, https://www.healthline.com/health/fitness-exercise/joint-mobility-exercises#11

Stretching has the potential to increase muscle mass by 318% – Men’s Health, https://www.menshealth.com/uk/fitness/a758588/stretch-daily-to-increase-muscle-mass/

Comprehensive warm-up programme to prevent injuries in young female footballers: cluster randomised controlled trial – The British Medical Journal, https://www.bmj.com/content/337/bmj.a2469

Effect of Neuromuscular Warm-up on Injuries in Female Soccer and Basketball Athletes in Urban Public High Schools, https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/fullarticle/1107636

Comparative Study of Static, Dynamic, and Proprioceptive Neuromuscular Facilitation Stretching Techniques on Flexibility, https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.2466/pms.1984.58.2.615

Bodyweight calisthenics is a highly effective workout – MSN Lifestyle, https://www.msn.com/en-za/health/fitness/bodyweight-calisthenics-is-a-highly-effective-workout/ar-BBNs2YB

Calories burned in 30 minutes for people of three different weights – Harvard Health Publishing – https://www.health.harvard.edu/diet-and-weight-loss/calories-burned-in-30-minutes-of-leisure-and-routine-activities

Burning calories one stretch at a time – Body Kinetic, http://customkinetics.com/burning-calories-one-good-stretch-at-a-time/

A review of the acute effects of static and dynamic stretching on performance – European Journal of Applied Physiology, https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00421-011-1879-2

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