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mynameisnotsoda · 2 months

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NOW INTRODUCING.... THE CRITTERS !!!

Technically Corvid is still a part of an au, i really like everyone's designs so i guess its just like a weird little au that are also kinda ocs?? Idk. Im still tagging it as the animatronicfication au and using the other ccs names but im completely separating wilbur from Corvid.

The one that probably changed the most is simp LMAO i just went back to his old design that was inspired by Luna (@starrixle's transfem simpbur turned oc) and Spencer is such a fitting name in my mind i literally can not imagine him with a different name *bwomp*

Also I'm working on refs for the other characters associated with the respective critters! I wanna finish them all and dump them into one post and I'll link it here when I'm done.

ANYWAY INFODUMP TIME

Before we go into individual characters i want to say that this is absolutely Minecraft. Like. The world is built off of Minecraft lore yk !!!! The overworld will still be called the overworld but it's basically just earth, with more magic and humanoid species! Along with supernatural creatures and cryptids n stuff :D also with more advanced tech considering Corvid exists pFF

Spencer for the most part kinda was like he is in canon or whatever. She used to lean more towards incel ideology because she was REALLY insecure and uncomfortable with herself for the longest time. Despite that, Spencer and Adrianne (egirl) started dating when they were 17, his unhealthy obsession with her was only fueled by her unhealthy attachment to him. They needed each other and it wasn't good for either of them. Spencer had developed horrible separation anxiety which only made things worse. Over time Adrianne became suffocated by his constant neediness, overwhelming insecurity, short temper and lack of contribution to household chores. It pained her to leave, but things needed to change. It wasn't until the breakup that Spencer met Shepard, who was his first irl friend in a long time. They met when they were around 22/23, at first Spencer just used Shepard as a distraction from Adrianne, especially since he was surprised that they wanted to even be his friend in the first place. But after a while he genuinely started to enjoy their company, plus they offered him really good advice and helped him through a gender/sexuality crisis. Eventually they became partners! Maybe not romantically, as they're both aromantic, but life partners nonetheless.

OH and i did make Spencer white/Salvadoran. Her mom is the first generation from immigrant parents while her dad is British; And her dad's younger brother is Adam's dad! He's also an ex-christian, he left due to religious trauma and moved to America to escape his family hA

Spencer's also a no sabo kid LMAO (he knows some words/phrases but other than that he cant speak Spanish to save his life)

ALSO ALSO. Oh my god i could talk about Spence all day LMAO but i made him a werewolf !!!! Hes SOO jealous of Adam because she wanted the cat genes but instead got bitten and turned into a werewolf as a teenager. She's done a pretty good job at hiding it from her family so Shepard's the only one who knows.

I already dumped everything about Adam into that other post, so I don't really have much else to add. HOWEVER !! Him and Spence are cousins now :3 Adam doesn't get to meet Spencer in person until he moves to America with Charlie & co, but he does follow her socials with his secret accounts that his parents don't know about. The only reason they know they're cousins is because Spencer's dad told her so and she reached out! Much to the dismay of Adam's parents but they've secretly kept in touch online.

Keith's pretty much stayed the same apart from a slight design revamp. Although I've made him a little older since originally i made him look young. But then I decided hes a dad so i started drawing him older for the asks pFF he also has a hooked nose now! In case it's not obvious. Keith got married to Jean VERY young, they were maybe 17/18 in human years. It was an arranged marriage and their only goal was to have an heir to the throne. Well they did, they had two kids, the eldest being a boy named Lune and the youngest being a girl named Sunny, who's the would be heir. Until Jean took both the kids and left. It was completely unprompted and left everyone in the kingdom confused, especially Keith. Sure, they had a loveless marriage and maybe he was insufferable at times, but he wanted to make it work if not for the kids then for the kingdom! But its been almost a year since she left, he's lost hope in ever finding her. Keith desperately wants his kids back, not because Sunny is the rightful heir— though that is part of it—but he loves them both dearly. He misses them the most.

Wilfred has pretty much stayed the same as well! I did give him a grey tshirt and darker hair to further distance his design from wilbur though. Hes just as unhinged and immoral as he used to be !!!! Nothing has changed aside from appearance actually.

Tobi also pretty much stayed the same except for its now got an orange jumper and lighter brown hair pFF although i do now have a story for him! Tobi was found by Alejandro in a storage auction, he managed to sell a lot of pretty valuable things from there but Tobi stood out, obviously, so he kept it. Alejandro is a travel vlogger and lives in an RV with his friends: Tomas, Philip and Charles. His friends just call him Alex. Anyway, they go from town to town trying local food, visiting tourists traps and vlogging the journey! While doing that they also try to find out how to get Tobi's memories back and possibly turn him human again, if they even can. So far they haven't had much luck but maybe one day...

Corvid was created as the backup singer and lead guitarist of the first all animatronic band! Brought to you by Beloved Entertainment! The other members include lead singer Ranboo Beloved, keytarist Tommy Raccoon, and bassist James Tomcat. Located in Ranboo's Mega Pizzaplex, the only location in the world (so far). Corvid adopts a showman personality while on stage, hes charismatic and such a heartthrob, very popular with the ladies. Off stage he's very calm and soft spoken, he's rather shy but still manages to be a flirt and a tease. Lightly poking fun at his bandmates, coworkers and even guests at times. He's definitely a fan favorite for a reason!

This was so fun to write and i cant wait to share more !!!! Stay tuned !!!!!!

#simpbur #studentbur #keith the dragon #dr malpractice #tinybur #animatronicfication au #sodas critters

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yukidragon · 2 years

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Have you theorised why Ian cheated? It was long distance when he did so and he called them right away so it looks like he still loved Y/N so do you think it was a drunk thing or more like he for 2 seconds he got the idea in his head that he did want to "satisfy his manhood" since he's only been with one person and immediately regretted it.

I have actually. I’ve mentioned it a couple times in past headcanon posts as my thoughts about it evolved, but I don’t mind going over it again. Heck, your ask is a good excuse to make a post that’s exclusively about the topic of Ian and his relationship with the MC.

For the most part I’m going to speak in general terms for why Ian might have cheated that can apply to all kinds of MCs, and not just my specific version, Alice. Ultimately, I don’t think it mattered what type of person the MC was - Ian cheated for reasons that were entirely his own... and ultimately selfish. I will touch on a few extra headcanons that strictly apply to Ian/Alice’s relationship and how it affects Sunshine in Hell at the end though.

I’ll be posting some artwork that used to be on Jambeebot/Sauce’s public twitter before it went down for some extra tidbits of information, and linking to the official twitter when relevant. As a reminder, please do not repost any private artwork posted on the SnaccPop Studio Patreon. Doing so is harmful to the team and their livelihood. Instead, please consider joining as a patron, contributing to the Something’s Wrong with Sunny Day Jack kickstarter, or just spreading the word about the game to other interested adults.

As a reminder, this series is for Adults Only. Sex is going to be discussed in this post, and there might be a mature image or two for reference.

Also as a heads up, this post will discuss abusive/toxic relationships, past instances of child abuse, SA, and religious trauma. If you are not in the headspace to handle any of these topics, please feel free to give this post a skip.

Obligatory tag for @channydraws and @earthgirlaesthetic before we get started. If you would like to be tagged in the next SDJ headcanon post, please let me know!

First, I want to address the theory that Ian was drunk, blackmailed, or otherwise did not consent to have sex with someone besides MC. Not only do I strongly believe that this is false, as there is evidence to suggest as such, I find this headcanon to be very... uncomfortable, to say the least.

If Ian did not willingly choose to have sex with someone, then he is the victim of SA.

The reason why Ian and MC broke up was because Ian had sex with someone else. If the only reason Ian had sex with someone else was because it was SA, that would mean that MC dumped the victim of SA instead of supporting him after a traumatic incident. MC would have blamed the victim of SA for suffering from SA. Even if we entertain the idea that Ian was too ashamed or didn’t understand it was SA at the time of the breakup, and as such MC had no idea that’s what happened, the victim of SA would have not only gone through the absolute violation that is SA, but lost his greatest source of love and emotional support as a result.

I am not comfortable with that narrative. At all.

Fortunately, it’s very unlikely to be the case, as Ian is taking all responsibility for his actions, as he himself stated in the demo. He did not blame his affair partner for what happened.

I’m going to try anyway. I’ve known you for how long now? I've known that…This is worse than anything we’ve been through. And it’s 100% my fault. But please…Don’t throw me out yet. Even if I deserve it…

There is also an older piece of art by Sauce that isn’t in the game or on the official twitter where Ian confessed to what he had done in a phone call immediately in the aftermath of his affair.

If Ian did not consent to have sex, then this picture changes into something very, very disturbing... well beyond the official warnings given on the subject.

[Romantic, Sexual, Emotional] Themes of manipulation, mind games, sexual consensual coercion, supernatural influence, soft dubious consent, and persuasive seduction.

Fortunately this picture shows Ian as lucid. He is upset and crying over what he did, but there’s no sign that he is in a compromised mental state where he can’t consent to sex.

I understand the reasoning behind making this sort of headcanon. I’ve seen it many times before, where a fan likes a character a lot, but feels uncomfortable towards one or more action that the character has taken. It can create a dissonance in the fan that needs to be resolved, and most often that takes the form of absolving the character of the blame of that questionable action, usually by making it the fault of someone else instead. That way, the character no longer has the trait that makes the fan uncomfortable, and it helps the fan no longer feel guilty for liking the character.

Liking flawed characters is not a sign that there’s anything wrong with you as a person. You can like aspects of a character but still disagree with certain things they’ve done or believed in. You are not tacitly approving of their flawed beliefs or wrongful actions by liking the character.

Everyone is flawed. Everyone has made mistakes. We are all imperfect, because we are all human. This mindset that a character can only be liked if they are absolved of all flaws is not only limiting when it comes to storytelling, it can be damaging, as it makes our own failings feel that much more unforgivable.

Redemption arcs can be pretty underrated, and I think that’s a shame. We shouldn’t be afraid of making mistakes. We should own up to them and learn healthy ways of making amends, or at least how to move on, heal, and grow into a better person.

I believe that Ian’s route in the game is going to be a redemption arc for him. For MC to reach a happy ending with him, Ian will have to truly make amends for betraying their trust. It won’t be easy, but redemption can be a beautiful thing. I eagerly look forward to seeing how Ian will do it and prove that he is truly remorseful and will never make such a mistake again.

Now that we’ve got that sorted, let’s consider the possible reasons why Ian chose to cheat.

First off, let’s start off with the facts that we do know about: Ian and MC are childhood friends who wound up in a relationship. MC was a stable figure in Ian’s life since they were children. The demo touches on a number of memories between them that mean a lot to both Ian and MC, including the afterlife mode.

The two have known each other a long time and know each other fairly well. However, as we’ve seen in the afterlife bonus story, Ian did keep secrets from MC. MC, by contrast, didn’t seem interested in hiding anything. These secrets, particularly whatever it was he hid so desperately under his bed, will probably come out during the game. The only thing we do know is that whatever he’s hiding, it’s not porn, as Sauce tweeted before their twitter was removed.

It’s unlikely that Ian is keeping secrets from MC for malicious reasons. Even when he cheated, he confessed right away rather than tried to hide it. He has a tendency to apologize, which even MC has commented on when describing him.

He was a nerd, and he was silly, and he was VERY apologetically himself, but…What we had was special.

This tendency to apologize and hide parts of himself appear to be the result of an abusive childhood at the hands of his mother. She is someone who not only forces her religious beliefs on her child, but stalks him and tries to control him and his actions.

“...My mom called me.” “Someone gave her our address…Or she might have had one of her friends watching. I don’t know…” “S-She…Uh…She says that…To live with someone out of…Wedlock…I-It’s a sin? And I’m going to hell?” “She said I’m only doing it to…To satisfy…My manhood…” “I-I’m not taking advantage of you by doing this…Am I?”

What’s unfortunate is that even as an adult, even though Ian is aware that what she is “just being mean” to him by planting these doubts in his head and saying such awful things to him, he still listens to her. He didn’t give his mother his new address when he moved, but he still hadn’t blocked her number despite knowing this until MC helped him do so in the episode.

Sadly, I suspect that Ian might have blocked his mother’s number in the past, only to unblock her later. This is purely headcanon on my part, but it’s not uncommon for victims of abuse to block their abuser, only to unblock them in a moment of weakness, especially if the abuser uses their flying monkeys to make the victim feel guilty about blocking them. It would seem that Ian’s mother has plenty of people on her side to do just that if they’re tracking Ian’s movements and reporting back to her about what he’s doing and where he’s going.

This drawing from Sauce’s deleted twitter is presumed by some fans (including myself) to be Ian’s mother. While any art not posted on the official twitter is questionable when it regards to canon, if this is Ian’s mother, and if she’s presumably talking to Ian, then she was verbally abusive and likely insulted Ian’s looks.

Ian was not just abused by his mother over his looks and other reason, but he was bullied by his peers as well.

The only one who seemed to want a friend was the kid who never seemed to have any. That was Ian. Ian wasn’t particularly loud and he didn’t have cool clothes or toys. He just kind of faded into the background. A lot of kids made fun of him.

Years worth of bullying, abuse, and lack of friends would have an effect on Ian. He feels the need to be apologetic and is painfully insecure. He struggles even to accept that MC would want someone like him as a romantic partner, as suggested by pictures like this one.

Scars like these run deep, and it takes a long time to heal. MC is used to comforting and reassuring Ian, as suggested by the afterlife episode. Ian is, in turn, used to relying on MC’s support. MC was the one who would ask Ian’s mother if they could have sleepovers when he was too afraid to do it himself, for example.

Ian has had MC’s support for a long time - since they attended first grade together, which is typically 6-7 years of age in the USA. While we don’t know the exact age of MC and the love interests in the present, it is implied they are all college graduates, which likely puts them in around their early to mid-20s. That’s quite a long time they’ve known each other, no doubt spending a lot of time in each other’s company on a regular basis up until Ian left to study abroad.

When Ian left, he suddenly had to go without his greatest source of love and support in order to pursue his dream of becoming an actor. He had to move across the country where no one knew him and handle everything entirely on his own.

With someone as insecure as Ian, no doubt that possibility was terrifying to him.

However, Ian had gone through a “glow up.” He was no longer that “gross” kid who faded into the background; he was successful and handsome. No doubt he attracted quite a bit of positive attention from his peers, which he probably wasn’t used to.

Back in his hometown, Ian had MC by his side a lot of the time. Anyone who wanted to romantically or sexually peruse him could easily be dismissed with his partner right beside him.

But what about when they’re not around to comfort him? Sure, Ian can call MC when he feels insecure, but they’re not there to hold him when he needs it... or help him blow off steam when he gets horny. Long distance relationships are hard, and they can leave a person feeling very lonely...

What I think happened was that Ian started making friends with people at the school. He was inexperienced with socializing with others due to being bullied, and likely didn’t realize when he was being flirted with unless they were overtly obvious about it. Given his low self-esteem, it would be easy for him to assume they’re just being friendly.

It feels good too. It’s hard for someone with so much insecurity to not want to soak up such positive attention. Chances are Ian wasn’t used to it from so many people who aren’t MC. Suddenly, MC is not unique in liking him or finding him attractive.

MC was always there for Ian, reliable and supportive. Ian knows them very well. Unfortunately, this can also breed complacency, which leads to taking their relationship for granted. By contrast, these new people in his life are different, unfamiliar, and exciting.

Staying in his hometown with the same people all his life, depending on someone else, abused by his mother, Ian likely had his growth stifled in many ways, but now he was taking charge of his life for himself. He was chasing his dream, growing more social, expressing himself more in a place far outside his mother’s reach.

It would be easy to make friends at his new school where so many people his age are interested in pursuing an acting career like he is. From there he could even find those who share some of his other interests, like fashion, video games, and manga. Despite his fears, Ian flourishes in his new environment. He opens up to more people and gets closer to them in a way that he never could with people in his hometown who knew him when he was an awkward child.

What harm would it do to just enjoy having more friends for once? In fact, MC would likely encourage Ian to make friends and spend time with them. He shouldn’t have to be lonely; he should be having fun too. Unfortunately, MC is not there and thus would be unable to see when any of Ian’s new “friends” start crossing lines... or how Ian unintentionally starts crossing them himself.

Ian doesn’t want anyone to know he and MC are sexually active in the afterlife episode. He claims it’s not a secret, but at the same time he worries about MC saying anything. Does he talk about being in a relationship at all? Does he tell people MC is his partner or just his childhood friend?

In my personal headcanon, I want to give Ian the benefit of the doubt on this point and say that he did make it clear to his new school chums that he was in a relationship. Unfortunately, for some people, a committed relationship is just seen as a challenge to overcome, something that adds a bit of spice to the chase, or they simply think cheating is fine as long as the person they’re cheating on never finds out.

What I think happened to Ian was like fable about the frog not realizing the water in the pot is getting hotter until its boiled alive.

It started innocently enough with attention and time spent with people who liked him. There was the occasional flirtatious remark that went over his head, but any overt propositions were turned down. It slowly escalates as Ian makes friends. He gets used to making himself vulnerable with other people besides MC, gets used to touching them, opens up more around them... and likely starts realizing they’re attractive too.

This is when his mother’s abuse would kick in. Those thoughts would hit Ian with guilt like a sack of bricks. Was his “manhood” leading him to sinful thoughts? No, no, it couldn’t be. He is only attracted to MC! He only loves MC! He only wants MC!

But that’s because MC was his only option before, isn’t it?

(Apologies for cropping this picture, but tumblr will nuke my blog from orbit if I showed what Ian and MC are doing on the left side of the image.)

Publicly posted pictures from Sauce’s now deleted tumblr might be questionable when it comes to canon, but I find they can be useful to give insight into general character motivations and for building headcanons. I find it very telling that Ian almost makes it sound like simply being with MC was his second choice when compared to his dreams of stardom...

Ian keeps these new thrilling feelings a secret like the thing hidden underneath his bed. He buries these thoughts, denies he even has them. Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean those thoughts go away... especially not when he winds up spending time with the person or persons who spark these feelings in the first place.

Ian might try to avoid them to deny these feelings, but, oh, his avoiding them hurts their feelings, and he doesn’t want to do that! He apologizes, makes it up to them... and gets closer to them in spite of himself.

Things escalate from there. There’s more touching, more closeness, more deep intimate conversations deep into the night... some friendly cuddle time perhaps... Lines are crossed that he either denies were anything but innocent or perhaps he allows himself to believe them that they don’t mean anything even if they seem to mean more... Friends kiss sometimes too, right? The French greet each other with kisses in fact!

The French really know their kisses.

Eventually, one night when Ian is spending time with one of these friends, he finds himself really enjoying their company. He doesn’t feel lonely or miss MC as much. He barely thinks of MC, so distracted by his new exciting friend before him who makes him feel so good...

One thing leads to another. It’s a night of passion, of just feeling good and wanted.

After all, it’s not the first time Ian got swept up in his own pleasure when he was feeling horny. In his sex scene in the afterlife episode, he doesn’t let MC stop giving him a blowjob. First it’s by holding their head and giving puppy dog eyes, then he gets more forceful.

I wanted to look him in the eyes, but when I threatened to stop he only doubled down and gave a solid, deeper thrust. It was almost as if he was trying to remind me what I was to be doing.

Ian knows that he shouldn’t keep going if MC wants to stop, but, as he says...

“I-I’m so sorry I just…this is the first time you’ve gotten this far…and it really does feel good..”

It’s okay if he just apologizes, right? MC always forgives him when he wants things too much. It feels good and he doesn’t want to stop... MC will understand, they always do. They understand each other the most after all...

MC doesn’t even mind being used for sexual gratification after all.

It was like being used. And somewhere in the back of my mind, I didn’t care if he WAS using me.

Because Ian and MC love each other, it’s okay if Ian does what feels good, right? MC would want that for him. They won’t mind if they feel used. They won’t mind blacking out from lack of oxygen as long as he feels good. They won’t mind if he doesn’t reciprocate and gives them pleasure as long as he says how much he loves them and cuddles them afterwards.

They won’t mind if Ian thinks of himself first.

Then the post-nut clarity hits.

Ian might have convinced himself everything up until this point meant nothing when high off of hormones and attention, but after the excitement fades, the person in bed with him isn’t his partner. Maybe they’ll cuddle him, but they won’t say, “I love you.” He doesn’t mean that much to them. They’re not MC.

There’s nothing to justify what Ian did or distract him from the consequences - he cheated. He betrayed his partner for a cheap thrill.

There is no way to soften what Ian did. Even if he might not be religious like his mother, cheating is a sin far, far worse than simply having sex before marriage. It’s one of the big top ten sins!

It’s just like his mother told him - Ian was a sinful man who just wanted to satisfy his manhood with sex.

Ian can’t handle it, any of it. He immediately calls up MC to confess. It’s the only way to fix this. They’ll forgive him, they’ll understand. They forgive his mistakes. They know him. They’ll understand he didn’t mean it. They have to. It’s the only way he can live with himself.

Not even confessing his sins can stop his betrayal from scarring MC and destroying their self-esteem along with their relationship.

In the present, Ian is trying everything he can to get MC to forgive him. Due to MC’s money issues, he likely pays for half (or more) of the rent as a means of making amends for what he did, even if they’re broken up now. MC is a cheapskate who has to rely on cheap thrift store goods and borrowed or stolen clothes from their ex who hurt them.

Maybe that’s why Ian believes that getting a new job, one that likely offers fame and money, will somehow fix what he did. He has money and can buy a lot of video games, systems, and anime merch. His wallet is thick enough for MC to mistake his 8-inch erection for it, which suggests it’s full of money. He seems like he has enough money to spend on apologies too.

What’s worse is that Ian’s betrayal, and maybe even their relationship altogether, did severe damage to MC’s self-esteem.

When Jack shows up, MC resists the idea that they feel love towards him. While they are concerned about what Jack is and whether or not he’s real, they seem more deterred by the feeling that they don’t deserve the attention of someone who loves them.

I don’t feel like I really deserve that kind of attention…You know? It doesn’t feel natural to have somebody just…Ask you to consider that.

MC also doesn’t want to use Jack as an emotional crutch. Perhaps because they felt like they were once used that way by someone...

I feel for him...But something about this is too good. I won’t use him as a bandage, to cover up the feelings I don’t want to feel.

The only romantic relationship MC ever had was with Ian. They are still suffering from heartache by the time Jack shows up. They’ll turn Nick down regardless of whether or not they’ll agree to get in a relationship with Jack.

MC trusted Ian. They loved Ian. They wanted to be with him forever. Then Ian betrayed that promise of forever for a night of cheap lust. Maybe that was enough to destroy MC’s self-esteem to this degree, but I suspect their relationship wasn’t really all that sunny.

But Ian won’t give up. He won’t let MC go so easily. He won’t let them forget him or throw him away. He’ll keep calling them, reminding them of the good times and apologizing for the bad. He won’t let them move on. He’ll do whatever it takes to prove they’re meant to be together...

Ian did a lot of damage to MC. He has a hell of a lot to make up for, and it will take a lot more than just money and fame to fix things.

That’s about it for general theorizing that can apply to all MCs from the clues we’ve been given. I know this post has gotten kind of long, but since we’re on the subject, I’m going to touch on a few headcanons I have that specifically apply to Alice and Ian’s relationship. Just so you know, these headcanons may or may not be tweaked in the future before references appear in Sunshine in Hell.

The relationship between Alice and Ian wasn’t healthy. There were plenty of good times with smiles and love, but there were also problems that only grew more and more toxic as time went on.

Alice has done a lot to please Ian and support him. She felt very bad for the abuse he suffered under his mother and how stifled he was, so she bent over backwards for him, often giving more of herself than was reasonable.

Alice has never done well in front of crowds, but because Ian wanted to be an actor and she wanted to support him, she would participate in plays alongside him. She would help him practice his parts and got good at acting in her own right. Still, her dream was to join the animation industry, but when she struggled under some crappy overly critical art teachers, Ian convinced her to just try for an acting career with him instead.

If it didn’t work out, well, they could just be together.

When Alice dropped out of acting classes after her acting teacher advised her that the only parts she could play were fat, unpleasant characters who were the butt of jokes, it shook up Ian’s confidence as well. He worried he wouldn’t be good enough, or even just good looking enough, even if the teacher praised him in a way that they didn’t with her.

Although Alice felt insecure and ugly, Ian assured her he loved her and that was what counted, not what anyone else thought. Ian didn’t want to give up acting, but he considered it after what happened to her. She didn’t want him to give up on his dream, since she didn’t really want to be an actor to begin with and being on stage with so many people watching her made her feel uncomfortable, but she couldn’t tell him that or he would feel even worse.

Alice did a lot of things that made her uncomfortable for the sake of love.

What didn’t help Alice’s feelings of self worth were all of the husbandos and waifus Ian had. She always acted like they were no big deal, as they were just fictional crushes and she had some of her own while growing up. Unfortunately, she struggled to overlook certain common traits in his choices: large chests, thin waists, and overall conventional good looks.

Alice is chubby, with a pear shaped body that makes her hips and rear much bigger than her chest. No one would ever mistake her for an anime waifu, and she knew it.

It took Alice a while before she could handle getting sexual in their relationship. She suffered from SA as a teenager and had moments where she panicked, especially in certain positions or when being restrained without warning or means of escape.

Ian would feel miserable for triggering her trauma and would apologize profusely for it, blaming himself and thinking the absolute worst of himself. Alice, in turn, would feel guilty for turning something that was supposed to be an expression of love into something awful for the both of them. Moments that should have been just about expressing love physically just made Ian feel like an awful person instead, and she would need to reassure him that he wasn’t. It made her more determined to suppress her trauma and be more proactive when it came to physically intimacy for the sake of their love.

Alice loved Ian, and she was willing to do just about anything for him.

Ian was rough in bed once they got going, and Alice did her best to tolerate it. She focused instead on how flattering and exciting it was that the person she loved desired her to the point that he lost control over himself. She believed that noone else would ever feel this way about her but Ian. What they had was special, irreplaceable. She got better at not freaking out when he took away her control in the heat of passion. She tolerated choking until nearly passing out and the pain that would always come initially when being penetrated.

Neither of them had any point of reference for having sex besides sex education classes, experimenting with each other, and ecchi. In ecchi/hentai, the person on the bottom would almost always be in pain at the start of penetrative sex, particularly during their first time, but would feel good in the end. That was just how sex worked, right? Pain was just an unavoidable price to pay to feel pleasure and express their love physically, right?

Just a quick aside, no, sex is not supposed to be painful unless you want it to be. In that case, it’s BDSM, and it requires a lot of communication as well as safe words to do it in a healthy manner.

Ian never meant for Alice to feel bad. He just loved her so much that he got carried away in the moment, and he was so good at aftercare, which made up for any pain and panic. She adored how sweet he could be afterwards, so loving, kind, and cuddly, so she always reassure him that she was okay... even if she wasn’t really.

Alice learned to complain less and less over the years as she grew up with Ian because he was suffering from so much, and it felt like she had nowhere near as much to complain about. He would feel so miserable if she had a problem and he felt helpless that he could do anything about it. He was dealing with so much, she couldn’t bear to burden him with things that troubled her when he couldn’t handle it, not when he needed her support so badly. She had a big family who loved her and could support her, unlike Ian. Without her, Ian would have no one. He never meant to hurt her, and he always apologized when he did.

That was why, even after being cheated on, Alice tried to forgive Ian.

The woman Ian cheated with was gorgeous, thin, and had big breasts. She was someone who was far more forward and confident when it came to sex, so much more appealing than Alice was, at least in her opinion. She felt pangs of paranoia and jealousy towards this woman’s behavior towards Ian in pictures on their socials and how much he talked about her as well as others even before the affair, but she always managed to talk herself down from suspecting anything seriously. She trusted Ian. What they had was different, real. They knew each other for so long, far more intimately than anyone else. Their love was deeper than anyone could understand, and she believed him when he swore up and down that he only could ever want her romantically or sexually.

It was a mistake. Ian messed up. It’s just how it’s always been - he makes a mistake, apologizes sincerely, reassures Alice he loves her, and she would forgive him. He always has good intentions, he just is clumsy at times, makes mistakes. This was just another mistake.

Besides, it wasn’t like Alice was perfect either. She had a crush on that camp councilor when they were tweens, and it made Ian feel bad because he had been crushing on her while she was gushing about her crush to him, oblivious to his feelings. This was kind of how he felt back then, right? She was just experiencing it from the other side now. Something like this was just a passing fancy. They could recover from this, right? Right?

But they couldn’t. Trust had been broken. All the problems in their relationship that Alice overlooked because she trusted Ian and loved him came in sharp relief, made even worse now by his betrayal.

Alice really did try to make it work, but in the end, she realized, with the help of friends and family, that what she and Ian had wasn’t healthy. They were caught in a toxic cycle of hurt feelings and apologies, clinging to each other for the sake of “love” until their relationship had grown twisted and was slowly destroying both of them.

The hardest thing Alice ever had to do was end the relationship, and even then she cracked under the pressure of Ian’s crying and begging for her not to leave him. She softened it by saying that they were broken up “for now.” Right now things were too painful, too raw. They needed space to focus on themselves as individuals instead of as a couple. If there was any chance of them being together, they needed time apart to heal.

Unfortunately, Alice can’t imagine them getting back together, not when just the thought of Ian hurts like hell.

#Sunny Day Jack #Something's Wrong With Sunny Day Jack #SunnyDayJack #swwsdj #sdj #Headcanon Ramblings #Ask #Sauce-y Art

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xxavengingangelxx · 7 months

Text

Long Way From Home 6/?

The chaos and Stockholm syndrome continues. Graves owns Val just a little more reach day.

Ya'll know the drill. I assume this isn't ya'll's first rodeo when it comes to reading this but alas, because it's a dark fic, I will post triggers again. MDNI, 18+ TRIGGERS: Implied/attempted suicide, self-harm, torture, brainwashing, physical abuse, mind fuckery, Stockholm syndrome-related mental gymnastics, trauma bonding, mentions of foster care, threatened/implied/referenced rape, EXTREMELY dubious consent, flashbacks of torture, female being drugged. If I miss, any let me know, please! DARK FIC!

This fic is almost coming to an end...kind of. This will be the first part of the series. After MW3 comes out, I can start posting part 2. Now I've decided on an ending and just know I'm not a believer in happy, fluffy endings because that's just not real life. Read my other Graves/Reader fic As the; Rush Comes to see ;) @josieguts because they asked to be tagged :)

“When did I break?”

Graves frowned when you asked him that later that day. “When’d say that, darlin’?”

“I heard you,”

Graves’s eyes flashed and suddenly he was looking at you like he did when he first too you. He had that sadistic glint in his eyes and you instantly regretted saying anything. You felt like you couldn’t have picked a worse time to bring this up. It was the end of the day and he was likely exhausted and fed up and done. You knew he was much quicker to anger when he was tired. You were getting to know him inside and out.

He simply walked over to you and towered over you. There was a significant size difference between you two and you were almost sure Graves got off on it.

“I did, huh?” he paused before asking, “When?”

It was times like these where you could not meet his gaze. It was too intimidating.

But Graves was not a man that liked being ignored.

So you felt him grab you around your upper arms with a grasp so hard you knew you were going to find bruises in the shape of his fingers later. All he had to do was shake you…once. And you felt it in your bones. You finally met his gaze.

“I want you to tell me where you think you heard that,” he demanded lowly. “Or I’m going to lock that door and things are going to take a dark turn, sweetheart,”

“The radio,” you said immediately. You didn’t even offer any resistance to his questioning because you knew that he wouldn’t hesitate to put you back in that tiny room (cell), drug you senseless, have you tortured and he’d probably get the information anyway.

“You were probably dreaming,” he released you suddenly and you had to rebalance yourself. You hadn’t realized you’d been holding your breath. Despite everything you had both shared in the last days you saw he was still capable of being a scary son of a bitch. “You fall asleep in a lot of weird places,” he said dismissively.

You had nothing to say. What the hell was this about you falling asleep in weird places? If what you thought you’d heard Graves say was true, the only thing that came to your mind was that whatever fucked up drugs he’d given you had messed you up.

“I wasn’t dreaming,”

Graves’s eyes snapped up at you from across the room.

His eyes were so intense you gasped.

Two strides on long, tall legs and he was across the room. One blink and you were on the floor. You tried getting away from him by trying to slide across the floor, trying to find purchase using your boots. Graves didn’t let you and gripped your sweatshirt. He knelt to your level before speaking. He’d apparently hit you across the face or so you felt.

“Let me tell you something,” Graves’s eyes had taken on the cold, icy, almost sadistic glacier-blue gaze. “If I ever do find you sneaking around and spying,” You swear there were times when he would get in a mood that he liked seeing you scared.

“I’m not. I-I’m not.” You stuttered.

“I’ll kill you myself, dump your body, and burn it,”

You flinched when he got up. He didn’t hit you again but you still flinched when he made sudden movements around you.

“You don’t want me to go back to seeing you as a 141 bitch, trust me,” he rumbled.

He didn’t even look at you before leaving the room and slamming the door behind him. You full on heard him growl a sigh outside the door. You heard him tell one of his men something and something inside of you got scared that you were going to be back to square 1 with Graves and dumped back into that tiny, cold room.

You got up and sat with your back leaning against a wall. You were facing the door, ready to engage anyone that came in the room. A small part of you was sick of this. But Graves was not unpredictable. You misbehaved and he got rough. It wasn’t that difficult to understand. You’d never had a normal relationship in your life and your relationship with Graves was far from healthy, far from normal. So why did you agitate him on purpose?

But how did that song go?

I found peace in your violence.

Because you were sure you couldn’t function in a normal relationship anyway. As insane as it was, you craved him. It was indeed insane because he’d just inflicted bruises on your arms and smacked you across the face and yet here you were, wanting him back already. You were getting addicted to your captor.

You lost a few privileges after that. Your watch had been confiscated so you were back to not knowing days or time. No windows didn’t help with that. You were bound to a room, but at least it was a bedroom with water and snacks although no real food. You hated the feeling of not knowing how time passed and Graves knew it. It was so fucking disorienting. Your arms did bruise by the way. He’d gripped you so hard on both your upper arms he’d left bruises. He’d hit you across the face, making you collapse on the floor earlier but there wasn’t much of a mark on your face from that. Recently he’d started not leaving marks when he hit you, which was actually rare.

You’re pretty sure days passed. You saw no one and no one talked to you. Solitary confinement, really Graves?

“Ya’ know 141 will kill you slow if they find out what you did,” Graves cooed. His voice brought you out of a light snooze.

“What?” you whispered. “What’re you talking about?” you snapped, irritated.

“Don’t. Do not give me an attitude, miss.” Graves snapped back, his voiced laced with venom and warning.

“What’d you mean?” you asked, your tone softened considerably. You were sitting on the bed, arms out behind you.

He didn’t speak, only smirked.

Your arms gave way and you collapsed back onto the bed on your back. You knew exactly what he was talking about.

You

Broke.

Against your better judgement you asked. “I broke didn’t I?” you felt lava hot tears running down the sides of your face towards your hair as you laid on your back. One of the tears caught the laceration on the left side of your face where Graves had struck you with a sidearm when you refused to break all those nights ago in Las Almas. It stung a little, not much though. The wound had mostly closed.

“What did I tell you about them?”

“That you’re not ready for,” Graves stated. “Promise.”

He got up and sat next to you. You felt the bed dip under his weight.

You flinched when he got close.

“How?” You asked.

“I’m surprised you lasted as long as you did, sweetheart,” Graves responded. “Day 6. I mean my boys and I have cracked men twice your size in hours it took us days to crack you. 147 hours to be exact.”

Fuck you hadn’t even lasted a week. So you had been right to be suspicious about Graves’s sudden different treatment when he came into your tiny room and told you that you’d been captive for 10 days. But if you had broken on day 6, what the hell had happened for the four days in between day 6 and day 10?

“Anyway,” Graves shrugged. “Told ya you’d be useful. Now I know it takes a lot to break you.”

“What’d it take?”

“You really don’t remember,” Graves laughed. That motherfucker laughed.

You ignored him, staring up at the ceiling and trying to count the dots in the ceiling tiles, spacing out. You’d noticed you spaced out a lot more often lately.

“You’d picked a fight with one of my boys,” Graves started to explain. “He took care of ya real quick. In the span of 30 seconds, you were on the floor, barely conscious. I warned you about picking fights with them, didn’t I?” And immediately you found yourself thinking that these men, these Shadows, were exactly like Graves. If Graves told them to hurt you, they’d hurt you even if they normally didn’t hit women. They didn’t care that you were half their size and a third of their weight.

Was he getting off on retelling this? Sick FUCK.

Graves’s voice got lower in tone. “You were dehydrated, no water for a day, no food for a few days.” He added, “You hadn’t refused food or water. We did.”

You weren’t sure if you wanted to hear the rest but you felt like you had to. Besides, who said you had a choice?

“So we hooked you up to an IV on day 6,”

Time slowed and you didn’t know if Graves was slowing his words or whether your brain was just spazzing out.

His next words snapped you back to reality. In real time.

“Two suicide attempts in as many days. We’d just gotten you stable from you slashing your wrist.” He chuckled. “You woke up after passing out, said you wanted to die or for me to kill you and fuckin’ ripped the IV outta your left arm so bad you needed more stitches.”

And that sentence. That fucking sentence, Two suicide attempts in as many days, brought it all back.

You remember waking up in a bed for the second time. You’d gotten your wrist stitched a day before? Two days before? Who knew? It still ached and you hadn’t been given anything for the pain. The slash on the left side of your face from days and nights ago in Las Almas stung. The cuts on your chest stung. But you still had blood on your face. From where, you had no idea. You’d been in a fight recently, that was for sure.

Graves was a blur of blue and black in front of you. Wearing his classic light blue shirt rolled up to just under his elbows, his hands resting comfortably on his vest.

“You there?” Graves’s tone was mocking.

And with strength you didn’t know you had, you screamed at him, “Why don’t you just fucking kill me?! Why won’t you just let me die?!”

Graves was unfazed.

Until you reached the IV line with your right hand and ripped it out of your left arm without hesitation. Blood sprayed, the rust-red liquid splashing on your clothes. And across Graves’s vest.

Graves just barely flinched and you saw him grit his teeth and wince, glancing down at the blood sprayed on his vest before cold blue eyes met yours again.

You took your eyes off his and you were sure you’d done it this time. You’d bleed out. You had a gash in your left arm from where you’d ripped the IV out. Blood was spreading fast across your clothes and the bed.

“Put ‘er out,” Graves turned away. “I’m not dealing with this shit again.”

You screamed at his men to not fucking touch you. They still held you down, restarted the IV and then drugged you.

You came to an unknown amount of time later.

“Two suicide attempts in as many days,” Graves said softly when you woke up. “I told ya we can’t have ya doin’ that.” Why did that Southern drawl get stronger when he was being a sadistic fuck?

You were restrained.

You were past it all. You were fucking done. You couldn’t believe you were still here. You weren’t sure if you were still alive or in hell.

You came to…somewhat…when you felt Graves gently brushing the hair out of your face. It was stiff and bloody. You were in so much fucking pain that you were crying.

“Val, seriously, just give it up,” he cooed.

“I thought you said we had something,” you slurred tearfully, feeling drugs still pumping through your system. Your vision was hazy and everything looked smeared. Whatever drugs they were, they seemed to only be messing with your mental state and did not relieve your pain at all.

“We did and we can,” Graves replied calmly. “I want that. But you clearly don’t because you’re not talking. It doesn’t have to be pain all the time. Let me take care of you.”

You stayed quiet and he was about to turn and leave before you used your last resort ‘weapon.’ Calling Graves by his first name. You rarely did. Using his first name usually got you whatever the hell you wanted…in the past.

“Phillip,” you gasped. “Phil,”

Graves turned around and met your gaze, although briefly.

“Talk, Val,” Graves stated simply. “It’s how you get out of this.”

And that’s the last you remember. For now anyway. You were sure you’d eventually dream about it.

Graves’s voice caught your attention. “You were so beaten to hell, so drugged, you started babbling. And you just happened to babble some info. Good info.”

You found yourself sitting up, legs crossed in Indian Style in front of you on that same bed. Your hands were in your lap and your face was wet with tears.

“You’re such a sadistic fuck,” it slipped your lips before you could stop it.

“Compliment if I ever heard one,” Graves smirked. “So after you cooperated we loaded you up with pain meds and kept you almost unconscious for the next 4 days.”

There was a pause in the air. It was heavy, laden with emotions from you and sadism from Graves. You glanced down, gaze focusing on you wringing your own hands in your lap.

“You said they’d kill me slow?” your voice was cracking.

“Can you blame them?”

“No,” you wanted to scream at him that, you’re a fucking hypocrite because you betrayed them, too!

But you didn’t. Because in your mind you were starting to see Graves’s actions as less of a betrayal and more as he was just following orders. He wanted the best for everyone, right?

“There’s no coming back from this, Valdez,” Graves’s tone was almost one of sympathy. Sadistic sympathy. You could see where this was going. He was trying to give you yet another reason to stay. With Shadow Company. With him. “They hate you. Hell they probably hated you for getting caught and would loathe you if they knew what you’d done.”

“But they came for me, right?” You neck felt cold because the tears coming down your face were enough to make it to your neck and soak the collar of your hooded sweatshirt.

“Yeah, to kill you slow or dump you in a military prison,” Graves answered. “I mean, take your pick. You would’ve either died or been sent to a military prison back home. Probably the Naval Consolidated Brig in Miramar. Hell, might’ve even stuck you in a military prison in the UK if Ghost had any say in it.”

No one said anything for a while.

“And you’d go down in history as a traitor,” Graves continued. “With what I did, you’ll be labelled KIA and given hero status.”

Graves was good at mind games. Really fucking good. But at the same time Graves was correct.

Right?

Even if 141 didn’t ‘kill you slow’ you would indeed end up in a military prison. Right? But before going there you’d go through a ‘deprogramming’ sequence. AKA torture to break your loyalty to Shadow Company. Can’t have you heading to that military prison and recruiting for Shadows, now can they?

“You’ll go back to the US or the UK in chains over my dead body.” Graves started talking again.

And you wondered if he didn’t want you to go back in chains because he…cared about you?

“Because they will interrogate you and deprogram you and I can’t risk you breaking a second time. If you thought what we did was bad, just you wait.”

Oh. So he didn’t necessarily care about you. Keeping you just saved his ass. Plus he could use you for sex right? But at the same time you could use him for sex, too. You’d used sex as a coping mechanism and coping skill since you were a teenager.

“Why didn’t you tell me I broke when I first asked you?” your tears had restarted.

“Because,” Graves paused. “You’re like a puppy. You’re so much fun to play with.”

You nodded, the action causing more tears to slide down your face. You face felt hot and you just knew you were about to start sobbing.

“You owe me, soldier,”

You woke up again a few hours later. Or so you thought. For all you know it might’ve been 12 hours later. It might have been days later. You’d cried yourself to sleep repeatedly. It felt like overnight (or day?) you’d shed your 141 identity permanently. And now you were morphing into Phantom-80 or P-80 whether you liked it or not.

The reflection in the mirror was one you hardly recognized. You only had minor scars before your run-in with Shadow Company and Graves. You now had numerous large ones and you knew exactly where to find them now. The healing gash on the left side of your face that ran from the hairline just above your temple down to just under your cheekbone. That was sure to scar. Your nose, slightly crooked, probably from being broken multiple times from clashing with Shadows.

Clashing with Shadows. Some deep part of your brain laughed insanely.

You had an ugly, jagged slash that ran from one side of the underside of your left wrist horizontally to the other side. Where you’d cut yourself with glass trying to die. That first attempt on your life was because you were terrified of breaking and betraying your ex-team. And the cut on your right palm that had felt so good when you gripped that glass, only because it was you inflicting the pain. Of course you couldn’t forget about the 3 inch healing laceration on the inside of your left elbow from ripping out that life-sustaining IV. Also trying to die. That second attempt was just an effort to escape the pain. And then the stitched wounds on your chest from all that time ago in Las Almas.

You felt like Frankenstein. Ripped apart by Graves and Shadow Company only to be rebuilt with your pieces…and some of theirs. You didn’t even have your dog tags anymore. There was no one back home to ask questions about you. Just (mostly) shitty foster parents. There were a few good fosters but they’d probably forgotten about you. 141 thought you were dead and so did the military. KIA. And if by some chance they found you alive, the only way they’d reward you is by killing you or throwing you in a military prison for traitors. You’d be labeled a national security risk, an enemy of the state.

“I agree you’re gorgeous, darlin’ but are you gonna spend the rest of your life looking at yourself in the mirror?” Graves asked from behind you.

Your dark gaze met his oceanic blue one in the mirror.

“No, sir,”

You turned to face him.

“Treat me right, do as you’re told and I will spoil you,” Graves smiled sweetly. “And so will my boys. As the only girl here you’re sure to get whatever the hell you want.”

“Yes, sir,”

“What’s your call sign, soldier?”

“Phantom-80. P-80.”

#phillip graves #cod mw2 #cod mwii #phillip graves x reader #john soap mactavish #ghost cod #graves x reader #mw2 141 #konig mw2

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peachdoxie · 5 months

Note

(Sending this as an ask bcs it got too long for the replies) but re: your post, I actually had a breakdown recently because of the massive toll it's taking on my mental health to Pay Attention to current events when I'm already dealing with so much in my own life that there really isn't a whole lot more I can do to help anyone, and it really does infuriate me that people have twisted the concept of privilege to suggest that anyone who isn't living in a war zone has the obligation to destroy their mental and physical health by paying non-stop attention to all the atrocities of the world.

Post-breakdown I decided that destroying myself wasn't helping anyone, and it's okay for me to focus on myself and my needs. It's still really hard, and I have a lot of trouble shaking the internalized message that me blocking tags and ignoring the news doesn't make me a horrible person, plus I'm unfortunately so hyper-empathetic that it's painful to even know that people are suffering in the world, but again we're all suffering right now. Almost no one is living in ideal conditions, and I have to believe that people who are living in worse conditions than I don't want me to end up bed ridden with depression and anxiety worrying over them, because I wouldn't want anyone to do that for me, either.

Anyway, this isn't super coherent, and I'm sorry if it comes across as trauma dumping or anything, but I just wanted to say that I agree, it's really messed up that the culture of activism has twisted to the point that being happy or even just not miserable when other people have it worse is so normalized. I hate seeing people lash out cruely at people in an attempt to get help or more eyes on an issue. It's like the old "there are children in Africa starving so finish your dinner even if you hate it" or "how dare you complain about how you're being treated, other people have it worse" mentality turned up to 100 billion and tbh it doesn't do anyone any good and it certainly doesn't make the world a better place.

Needing to take time away isn't selfish. You don't have to suffer to make up for the fact that you happen to not live in a worse place. You are not obligated to destroy yourself as penance. And destroying yourself is not activism nor is it a healthy expression of compassion or empathy. I know it's not a choice sometimes, our emotions are not logical, but I just wanted you to know that there are people out there who know there is nothing wrong with you taking a step back to focus on yourself. The fight isn't over because you looked away, there are tons of other people still carrying the torch, and I truly don't think people who are suffering want MORE people to suffer needlessly on their behalf.

I hope you're able to take a break soon, and that you find a way to balance things. And I hope the things you're dealing with in your own life ease up soon as well. Take care of yourself.

I'm not sure if you're the same anon who sent this message

You know what, fuck it. I'm giving you permission to take as many days off as you need bit caring about others. Do some things for yourself, have fun, sleep. The world will still be on fire when you get back, but you'll have a better flame proof suit to help deal with it.

but regardless thank you. I needed to hear this.

#anecdotes by peachdoxie #re: my posts about burnout and activism

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w8rmboy · 1 month

Text

༺ Jay’s Mind 📝✩ ༻ (intro)

hey tumblr dudes. the names jay; but i’ll also go by angel on here. i’m mainly here for my boyfriend, but also interested in sharing some of my writing and/ or art on this website.

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°˖ ⊹ ꒰ @good-puppy-b0y ꒱ ‘s owner ♡

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(ENG) i am almost 17 years of age transmasc and use mainly he/him pronouns, but i also prefer it/its alot of the time. i am unlabelled but lean more towards males. i am monogamous and love my puppy very much. you can usually find me writing about my love for him or posting about him.

i have been writing for approximately 5 years, a bit longer for art, from my young age to now. although i have only started writing more strongly mostly in the past year or so, but i still count my starting years as they mean alot to me.

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i have autism aswell as dyslexia which cause me to struggle with tones. please respect this and use tone tags on my page or when messaging me. i also struggle with BPD (borderline personality disorder) aswell as some bipolar symptoms. these can cause my feelings to go out of proportion so please do not take anything i say to heart, i usually need some time to myself.

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DNI; (basic) / BFY

i am uncomfortable with anyone under the age of 14 being on my page. even that is a bit of a stretch for me.

NSFW accounts/ just strange blogs in general. i can block freely if you creep me out.

people who sexualise regression in any way shape or form, get the fuck out.

the rest is basic. no homophobia, transphobia, ableism, racism, ect. thats just being a jerk. grow up.

Some Warnings;

this blog is heavily based off my writing, which often mentions my experiences with life which could be triggering for others. i will mention warnings for such things in the pieces themselves, but still be warned. some posts may include some suggestive topics, such as; self harm, drug use, sexual trauma, eating disorders, ect. i do not want to upset anyone with my pieces. although i will not censor my mind. it is my work.

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i am very into angelic themes (despite being non-religious) , aswell as dark poetry and/ or written pieces, narratives, art, music and everything horrific. i love to over analyse absolutely everything in my life and outside of it. everything will always have an extistential meaning in my life which is why i can be very dreamy and dissociative at times.

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ALL my socials are listed under @ w8rmboy unless i do not want the accounts found by others. i am always up for a chat on discord, dont be scared to add me. i also own a livejournal account but most of those pieces will be posted here anyway, so no need to go looking for that unless you want to see the pieces that will not be socially published here. which will probably only be a handful of pages.

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here are my tags if you’re interested in anything particular on my page; (if you like my work, you can always suggest an idea for me to write in my ask box.)

🦷; angel writes🪽(any pieces ive written)

♣️; puppy boy writes (pieces written about/ for my boyfriend)

🦴; suggested piece (pieces suggested to be written, either through my ask box or somewhere else)

🗯️; angelboy mind dump (things on my mind)

☠️; jays take (possibly controversial/ political takes on things in the world)

👻; angel art (my art) / puppy art (boyfriends art)

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kinktae · 8 months

Note

you mentioned in your tags that you have never craved romantic love and probably never will...does that mean you're aromantic?

I feel like the aro/ace experience is teetering between am I aro/ace... or am I traumatize <3

NOW DON'T TAKE THIS AS ME SAYING THAT ANYONE WHO IS ARO/ACE IS JUST TRAUMATIZED that does NOT apply to everyone and aro/ace's are valid thank u and god bless

TW TRAUMA DUMP LMFAO but when it comes to ME... idk bro my dad is a narcissist groomer who left my mom horribly emotionally stunted and I had to watch her enter the shittest most abusive relationship after my parent's divorce because she was so fucked up over my dad, and then growing up as a teen was just watching my girl friends become the worst versions of themselves because of men and making terrible, terrible decisions (pls understand that my besties were all very mentally unwell so when i say terrible i mean TERRIBLE and UNSAFE and TRAUMATIZING for everyone involved) and ofc I supported them during and after those instances ... but if i'm being so super honest. At the forefront of my mind was always "god i hope I don't look like this when I start dating/catch feelings." And yeah. I've never fallen in love. Never even dated. Even the healthier relationships around me now I see what it looks like and I'm like... I'm good😭😭 And from a psychological aspect, I completely understand why love makes you do crazy things and having rose colored glasses but... Idk I love my life exactly as it is!! I don't ever feel lonely? I'm not exactly sure what being in a relationship will give me other than taking time away from my happy lil life. I truly do not feel any want or need for a man. In fact it genuinely upsets me when I find out a man has feelings for me it makes me soooo uncomfortable and uneasy. Maybe that's why I like writing romance. It's a way to explore it without ever looking foolish or making decisions I wouldn't usually. Anyway, I might feel differently when I leave college since that takes up a huge part of my life time wise but yeah!!! that's where I'm at !! :)

#ask #tldr my dad unfortch rubbed off on me and the idea of looking or feeling stupid I cannot cope with #ill address it in therapy one day!!!!#also my last crush died so #thats no good #i do want kids tho :D #i would do anything to be a mom #tw trauma

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souryogurt64 · 1 year

Note

Where did you get the prints on your wall?

I NEED TO KNOW!

I printed everything at the fancy library in my hometown or at FedEx! Everything is from Tumblr, Pinterest, or TikTok and I spent a lot of time curating and saving different photos and stuff over a period of years that were both Bandom related and just fit the aesthetic I like

Other things are different memorabilia I’ve been saving for years, like a tag from Forever 21s Romeo and Juliet line is one of my favorite pieces in it, and there’s some old wrapping paper with roses my mom bought in the 90s before I was born, and there’s a semi-nude sketch my friend did of her body for art class in college, and there’s a ticket from one of those fortune machines, photo strips of me and my friends, postcards, polaroids, just stuff like that

A lot of those are also coloring pages I colored myself with glitter pens. The collage above my bed is butcher paper that I taped everything to before I moved in and the one above my desk has just slowly grown over the last year and a half. There’s also tapestries and a fairy calendar and stuff. The stars are holographic silver paper I used star-shaped hole punches my mom had to make and then taped it to the ceiling.

It’s been a lot of years of kind of intensive work at times. and I would say a decent amount of money went into the printing, but it ranges from $0.15-$1.25 a page and has been done over years so nothing crazy lol

I love my room a lot, I was not really allowed to decorate my room as a kid and it was a big point of contention between me and my mom. At risk of trauma dumping (sorry) at one point in my teens I did watercolor paintings inspired by shit like Doctor Who and Supernatural and put them on my closet door and she actually tore them up and threw them out because they were “ruining the walls.” It was part of what led up to me getting taken to the hospital in a cop car a la Pete Wentz. My mom has chilled out considerably since

Anyway, now that I’m 24 I really wanted to create like the perfect teen girl becoming emo fantasy type of bedroom that was also a little more adult, hence all the renaissance and 20s era paintings and 70s art. There’s also a bit of 70s-90s college stoner girl fantasy I haven’t really let go of so there’s a lot of that as well. So there’s pictures of Pete Wentz with his shirt off but also stills from Care Bears and Sailor Moon. And cats of course lol

The room in Jennifer’s Body that’s like a pink childhood bedroom that has pictures of emo boys wallpapered all over it was a huge inspiration and there’s a photo I saw of a girl’s room going around Tumblr that was also really inspiring.

#this was too long but im passionate about my room lol

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findingschmomo · 2 years

Text

hey everyone, quick psa: commenting on a fic is a privilege not a right. comments can be turned off in a heartbeat. authors can delete comments as they please.

over a year ago, someone left a semi rude comment on a story of mine. it upset me so i deleted it (and didnt think to screenshot it lol). this anonymous user then decided to start harassing me throughout my stories. i kinda want to talk about it.

It started like this

to more aggressive:

I turn on comment moderation. and then, i get a notif from a DIFFERENT story of mine.

first of all: dont ever trauma dump on a random stranger on the internet. to think how this could have affected someone else other than me. also having a bad experience doesnt excuse bad behavior. I also dont really care? this comment reeks of entitlemtn that you are trying to couch with your sudden backstory.

also this is a really bad attempt at an apology. that finally 'im sorry' is laughable. i dont even want an apology??? because i dont care. honestly. just let it go.

anyway, i delete it and then i get this

i dont think this person understands what the word insecure means

i tag all my fics appropriately and extensively

i delete that one (and its quite fun tbh, since it seems to upset them so god damn much).

Now, this anon has decided to drop a coment on A THIRD story of mine:

i tagged this story with the 'chose not to use archival warnings' which i dont think this person comprehends. but also its a moot point, because their real anger is being silenced. i dont have to have a reason to delete comments on my own story. let alone THESE COMMENTS ON A DIFFERENT STORY COMPLETELY AND THEREFORE ARE JUST HARASSMENT/SPAM at this point.

After this they decide to use a different tactic: pretending ot be other people who have heard this salacious rumor about this rusame writer out there mass deleting shit. (i dont, but whatever, not the point)

this comment ^^ is again on a completely different story of mine. can we note the date on this one. I left the user because its just guest (ive been protecting this persons identity because they did use a name previously, although it isnt tied to any account) so that I could show the time stamp. 2021.

its Oct 20, 2022, and I got YET AGAIN another comment from definitely not this person.

again this is so sad. like, its been months my guy. what are you doing. no one gives a shit. there is no YT vid about me. also the 'didnt realize they were a hetalia author' bit is what really sends me. ALL of the stories mentioned in this debocle are hetalia. so how could this video takedown of me not mention that?

anyway. ive had worse commenters before (who've sent me repeated death threats, for example, and ive had to get AO3 admin involved to stop it). this person is no where near that level. i just find their persistence laughable and also really really sad.

but regardless, i want to make this clear: It's the author's story. They're in charge of comment moderation. you are not entitled to the space. enjoy your free content and leave people alone

#long post #fanfiction #ao3 discourse #comment etiquette #ignore me #im tired man #can we not

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sadkidwarexpert · 10 months

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𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐝

tw: generational trauma, mentions of sharp objects, mention of cancer and death (no specifics)

a/n: i promise i'll be writing more stuff, it's just that this year so far was a whole-ass circus, anyway, i want to write more so let's hope i deliver that. i appreciate you waiting for me if you have.

tags: @daisycheols @etherealyoungk @scarlet789 (if you wanna be tagged let me know)

"This is fucking useless," my mother spat through gritted teeth, as she threw the scissors away. "Give me the knife."

I slide the blade knife towards her, and myself back a couple inches away till I'm up against the wall, my tailbone aching as I sat on the hard floor. Cherry juice stains my fingertips, my eyes never leave her as clicks the blade open, and as I lick my fingers clean, I taste the sourness of her expression. So much fury in the way she's shredding the cardboard, the sound of the blade working through it like that of my grandfather's phelmy cough before lung cancer took him to greet death. Mother, with years of rage hiding in her every day actions, was making my little sister's school project, and I, not wanting to be victim to her blade, am staying well away, nibbling on my cherries.

Clock strikes midnight and as if on cue my thoughts rush in, a ritual known to womankind for ages: the act of overthinking till your mind bleeds and begs you to stop. Anxieties from every direction, some yours, some not, a whirlwind of silent screams about a timeline, the past, present and the future. It didn't matter if it was within your control or not, if it was yours to begin with or not. You're a woman therefore you must overthink, it's a built-in biorhythm that you can't escape.

Her hands quiet down and move less violently now that the project was slowly coming together, but the guilt inside me roars like those silent volcanoes that never erupt. I often wonder, what exactly was it that ignited such anger inside her and spread eggshells around the house, and if, by extension, our deliberate choices are a true reason to be angry. My mind always round it back to me, or more like us, and through her labored breathing, I'm still questioning if I was competing over air with her. But then again, I did not chose; she did.

Then again, if you uproot a human, strip away familiarity, dump her between four walls, with a bucket and a mop, and a swelling that breaks her back then cleaves her open over and over, wouldn't it be fair if there was anger?

I don't think anyone can expect what happens to them, no one is never prepared, yet they have to bear responsibility for it, the shocking consequences, the sudden upheaval, the dysrhythmia of being, the clocks that tick wrong, the foreign breaths into your skull, the change of face, of odor, of cloth, slipping into an abyss of different flavor. Misfortune you swallow every day that's dressed in summery silks with the lingering scent of hay. Happiness that tears your ribs far and wide and leaves them open for the wolves of misery to gnaw and gnaw and gnaw at the flesh of your heart like a door open in the dead of winter.

The red of cherries on my fingers makes me nauseous, it reminded me too much of my becoming womanhood. I still wonder as I throw the cherry seeds into the sink, if my mother every wanted to discard us like that, to reclaim her old self, and disrobe from this foreign being she'd become to herself. Maybe even nurture herself into something brighter. Maybe then she'll feel that she was enough. Maybe then she'll love us like she loved summer once.

It's two minutes past midnight, an anniversary has arrived, and for a moment I see a glint of tears at the corner of my mothers eyes, and I know that with one choice, one choice that was supposed to break her ribcage open for happiness, her wings got clipped instead, and the day that was supposed to be celebrated, was the day the butterfly died.

Three minutes into my eighteenth birthday, I realized I wanted to die too.

•

#writing #creative writing #writer #writeblr #writers on tumblr

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steele-soulmate · 2 months

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Tattooed Wings, CHAPTER 584, Peter Steele & OFC, Soulmate AU

SUMMARY: Mary Claire Bradley meets her soulmate- literally- the famous Peter Steele of metal group Type O Negative. But will obstacles including trauma, stalkers, and toxic family members get in the way of their life?

WARNING: mentions of child rape (nothing graphic) PTSD, milk kink, soft smut, grinding, assault, fingering, hand jobs, blow jobs, 69, P in V sex, blood, noncon rape, violence, death, vandalism, graffiti, attempted kidnapping, break-ins, wild animal attacks, terrorist attack (sabotage) consensual impregnation, bareback, impregnation kink, creampies, terrorist attacks (shootings) hit and run pedestrian accident, precipitous labor, neonatal death, abandoned baby, child intoxication, death of a minor character

WORDS: 1158

“Thank goodness today was the last day of school!” Katie bemoaned, slouching backwards into her car seat. “What are we going to do this summer, anyways?”

“The triplets’ first birthday’s on the thirteenth of September!” I reminded her in a gentle tone of voice. “So naturally, a little get together will be held for them- we will invite Daddy’s sisters and Mommy’s brothers and sister and little girl and her daddies and we will ask for donations made out to Superheroes Love Heroes.”

“And will there be smash cakies?” Katie continued to prattle on.

“I do think so, yes probably!” I answered her, removing the now full bag from my milk pump and handing it over to my daughter to be sealed. I then fitted a fresh baggie onto the milk pump before relaxing into my throne of pillows once more. Mittens was curled up to my side, purring loudly as she took a kitty nap, totally at peace as Primrose tussled with one of Daisy’s doggie toys under the bed.

THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD went Jack Sparrow and Daisy, the two Ratajczyk critters playing a rather rambunctious game of tag up and down the stairs.

“Are we doing anything else this summer?” Katie asked me, her crossed legged position on the bed that I shared with my husband relaxed and happy.“You and Elizabeth will spend two weeks away at the Great Wolf Lodge summer camp,” I reminded her with a soft hum. “And you both are also signed up for a week pf day camp down at the lakes in July. And rehersals for Ken Anderson’s latest musical. Remember, mo stór?”

“Oh, right!” she brightened up, the smile on her face almost infectious. “I can’t wait!”“I would imagine so!” I removed another baggie of mommy milk from my breast pump, handing it over to Katie to seal before fitting a fresh baggie onto the machine and leaning back. “Gramercy.”“Bù kèqì, mommy!” she chirped, snugging herself into my side. “What will you and daddy and the babies do while Lizz Lizz, myself and our American Girl dollies are at camp?”

“Well-” Here, I felt my face heat up, knowing perfectly well what trouble my handsome silver daddy and I would get into, but didn’t want to shatter her sense of childlike innocence. “Your father and I both have many little projects around the house that we have both been procrastinating on. I do think that with you girls out of the house, we can dump the babies at Mr. James’ and Mr. Aaron’s house with little girl.”

“Speaking of little girl, she turns five years old this year!” Katie smacked her hands against her cheeks in a startled look. “Mommy, little girl won’t be so little anymore!”

“Yes, but no matter what- little girl will always be her mommy’s little girl!” I frowned, passing off yet another full baggie of mommy milk.

“Makes sense,” she shrugged, looking up at a muffled curse, which turned out to be Peter having his legs rammed into by Daisy, only doing doggie zoomies things.

“My love, are you alright?” I called out as he limped into our bedroom, the three tiny triplets curled up into his burly chest. “Daisy, you should be ashamed of yourself!”

The mixed breed mutt let out an apologetic whine before slinking off with her ears flattened to her head and her tail tucked in between her hind legs. The Doberman/ mastiff mix understood that she had just been naughty, and was now trying to be back in the family’s good graces again.

“You need to be careful Daisy!” I gently chided her. “Only imagine if you accidently plow into one of the babies and seriously hurt them!”

Mittens opened one eye and just said MEOW, as though saying not on my watch!

Primrose let out a skunkish chitter before volting herself from underneath the bed, skidding across the floor and then leaping onto Daisy. The mild tempered dog took a startled step backwards before quickly submitting to her newfound role to her not a puppy’s throne, laying down in the corner as she eyeballed the fluffy black and white cat, who had puffed herself up as she meandered up to the large breed dog.

MEOW

Suddenly, out of nowhere, the pissy cat started to bap the dog’s nose over and over again, hissing furiously all the while doing so.

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISS

Just at that very moment, Baby Teddy let out an extremely violent sneeze, and I noticed a tiny dribble of blood beginning to dribble out from his tiny baby nostril.

Wah… wah… wah… whimpered Baby Teddy before erupting into a sudden WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH…

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH… screamed Baby Mattie, both babies screaming their heads off as Baby Jojo slept on as only an extremely sleepy little almost one year old baby could do.

“Jesus-” Peter swore, handing Baby Mattie and Baby Jojo to tend to his son’s bloody nose. “Hey hey hey there now Baby Teddy- do you have a drippy nosies?”

HIC

I looked over at the sweet baby boy, who had his nose tightly plugged by his father.

HIC

The tiny redheaded baby’s hiccups were quickly interpressed in between screams.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH… HIC WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH… HIC WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH… HIC WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH… HIC WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH… HIC WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH… HIC WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH… HIC WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH… HIC WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH… HIC

“It’s okay Baby Teddy, it’s okay,” he murmured as he bounced his son gently in his arms. “Can you please stop crying now?”

Mo stór, my dear, Irish Gaelic Gramercy, thank you, old French? Bù kèqì, you’re welcome, Chinese

TAGLISTS ARE OPEN/ ASK BOX IS OPEN/ REQUESTS ARE OPEN/ PLOT BUNNIES ARE WELCOMED

If you liked this, then please consider buying me a coffee HERE It only costs $3!!!

PETER STEELE TAGLIST

@rock-a-noodle

@ch3rry-c01a

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straworie · 2 years

Text

Can I be a princess? Part 3

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

New girl meets THE FREAK

Warnings: bad language, kinda smut,

mentioning trauma, mentioning of drugs, selfharm, triggering things, and most of all spelling errors (tell me in the comments!)

Tag list: @iamsiriuss @srhxpci @bumpbeaded

Have fun reading :)

Part 2 here :)

Next day, new beginning, new “no bullshit“ try.

You woke up and did your morning routine, if you could call it like that.. You simply got up, showered, styled your hair (really just blow drying and brushing) and out on some mascara and and eyeliner.

You put on your favorite t-Shirt, a Bon Jovi Shirt which was brown, And decided to wear a black skirt, white socks that almost reached your knees and fellow black converse.

You grabbed your blag Tote bag, got into your car and started to drive.

Your mind drifted to yesterday’s happening. That headkiss. You smiled to yourself for the rest of your drive.

About 10 minutes later you arrived at hell *cough* school. Sorry I totally meant school.

You got out to see the ✨man of your dreams✨ and walked over to him with a rush of confidence going through your blood.

He was yelling at the freshmen boys from yesterday, well I would too. Brats.

“So you dumping Hell Fire. HELL FIRE. For some fucking?“ he confronted Mike,

You looked at them amused a grin shaping on your face.

”First of all, not..for..*quiet voice* intercourse. And second it’s for my girlfriend!“ he yelled back.

You started clapping: „little guy got a girl?“

”Im taller than you.“ „And so is Eds so what?“

Dustin started grinning and wiggling his eye brows: „So you call Eddie Eds now? What’s next? Babe? Baby?“

„I‘d rather want to get called Daddy.“ Eddie said as a joke, which wasn’t got taken as it because y’all’s eyes got wide and the simple “I meant by my girlfriend“ did not fix that situation at all.

”anyways so what’s going on here?“ you tried to change the subject.

“Mike wants to fly over to his girl for a week, which means he’s not coming to school for a week, which means he’s not coming to hellfire.“

“…so?“ you asked confused.

Now Eddie was the confused one: „“So?“? It’s Hell fire!“

“What ever. Let that boy live.“ you said while walking inside , listening to “Fight fire with fire“ by Metallica on your Walkman.

WARNING NOW

You got into the girls changing room and started to put on your PE clothes as one girl asked you loudly:

„You did that yourself?!“ while pointing at your thighs.

Yes, not to mention the blue spots by ex you indeed had some scars there. Some where old and healed but you had new ones too. You could tell they were fresh by how they looked.

Every girl was looking at you.

A brush of anxiety started to form and you started to rush and actually ran inside the Hall tears falling down your face.

“B-bloody hell!“ you whisper yelled and kicked a random object which was in your way.

Eddie got in hall maybe 2 or 3 minutes after you, you could tell he was annoyed.

When he saw you from behind he started smiling heading towards you. : „ready for some Hell of PE?“

You wiped your face fast, tears still in your eyes and started to play it off cool.

„Yup“ you couldn’t say a whole sentence, you knew you’d break down again.

Eddie frowned, “you okay?“

You pressed your lips together while “saying“ mhm.

He knew you were lying. It was killing him to see you like That.

He got closer towards you. Close. “Please talk to me” could be heard. You hugged the boy and actually managed to calm down before class started.

Everyone was talking. Great. It was either about your problem or you being with the school “freak”.

Class started and it wasn’t really..sporty. The first 15 minutes was about the coach telling us about safety and cleaning up after class. He told us to get partners and warm up the next 15 minutes so no one would “get hurt”. You and the Munson boy got together and were already arguing about whom to do the exercise first.

“I ain’t laying on the floor first!” You insisted.

“Rock, paper, scissors?” He offered.

The two of you stood in front of each other and yelled "rock, paper, scissors, Shoot!” At the same time. You lost.

Could this get any better?

Your annoying self got on the floor waiting for him to step onto your feet so you could start to do crunches.

”cmon you can do it.” He was hiding his laugh

You could only do two and fell to the floor, which made the boy fell down to the floor laughing.

“It’s not funny!”

You were at some point laughing too but then it got a little heated.

You two ended up laying on the ground looking at each other.

*i want to kiss him so badly*

*i want to kiss her so badly*

“Alright love birds get up! Enough flirting time! It’s time for dodge ball!” You Heard your teacher yelling.

Damn it. If we were only to be alone.

The two of you got up waiting to be picked into your teams. The two of you were the last. Typical.

The game was really fast. You really thought the universe hated you. You and him ended up to be the last standing in. He had both balls.

*god save me*

He threw it at you but you catch it. Not even knowing how. He threw the second one but you were faster and managing to hit him.

It was unexpected.

Your “team” was hyping you up and you just stood there confused. Eddie was actually hoping that you would win.

When you were ordered to get dressed you quickly got in and took your stuff into the bathroom and changing there, not wanting to hear these comments again.

After you were done you stood in front of door of the boys changing room. You waited about five minutes till you saw that familiar face that you were in love with.

When Eddie saw you in your outfit he started to blush. You looked stunning. Perfect to him.

He was deeply wishing you to be his.

He couldn’t talk. He was quiet to flustered by your looks.

The two of you walked to the cafeteria to see that only one seat was free because some random kids sat at your tables too.

“You sit, I can stand. I won’t eat anyway” he offered you.

“You know I can sit on your lap?” Your cheeks changed into a pretty pink.

He was just red.

You had to admit yourself you did only want to do this so he’d maybe see you have feelings for him.

“But everyone will thi-“

“So? Who cares? Let them talk”

He sat down and so did you.

The table was staring at you.

Eddie answered; “it’s only because there’s no more space.”

Everyone was nodding but not believing what he had just told them.

Eddie got nervous. The little guy down there was growing. And you wearing a skirt didn’t make it better.

“Don’t you want to get food?” He asked nervously. He wanted you to get off.

„nah not hungry.” You were clueless. You liked sitting there. Maybe soon to sit there with the name “his girlfriend”.

“Well I’ll go pee” he shoved you down and almost ran to the bathrooms.

You sat there kinda sad.

You talked to the others till break was over and Eds still not there yet. You got into history class and sat on your seats.

About 10 minutes later he came in late sitting next to you.

“What’d you do?”

“Uhh..doesn’t matter. “

*Huh weird..*

“I’m bored” you scoffed

Eddie rolled his sleeves up “wanna draw?”

You quickly pulled out a pen and started to doodle around his arm. You admired his tattoos. They were so cool. You were drawing the whole class. At a space he couldn’t see you decided to write E + (your first letter) <3. I mean he couldn’t see it, could he?

After class school was over you walked up to the curly head asking to hang in about 2 hours, which he of course said yes to because it fit. He still had a drug deal to go to and had no life so why not. You waved at him walking to your car.

He smiled: „That girl will be mine one day.”

See you Tomorrow for part 4!! <3

#can i be a princess?#eddie munson imagine #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #Eddie Munson #stranger things 4 #stranger things #eddie munson x reader

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