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#ever since she told me & she said she wanted me to go on & talk about it more i have been Devising My Plan
spicyclover · 3 days
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You used me
Summary : It's bittersweet to think about the damage that you did.
Next part of "You betrayed me"
Hope you’ll enjoy it. Let me know in the comment section.
Thank you! :)
Lots of love, xxx Spicy Clover
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When the door closed that night, I collapsed on the floor of my kitchen, on the cold tiles. In the weeks that followed, I spent them in a blur. I kept myself busy to stop thinking, to stop thinking about you. I lived on automatism. I'm a fucking robot, because of you. I get up in the morning without motivation and go to bed with the ball in my stomach to meet you in my dreams.
I’ve been going over and over our conversation. I’m a bet. A fucking, humiliating bet. I have never been more shame than that evening. Everyone knew and no one told me. They knew that I loved you so bad, and I let you treat me like that. I'm so naïve. I just want myself back. I just wanted to be enough. Don't you think I loved you too much to be used and discarded? Don't you think I loved you too much to think I deserve nothing? But don't tell me you're sorry. You should feel sorry for yourself. An eternal love bullshit you know you'll never mean.
Once the door was closed. My friends left with you. Because you bring them more than I could ever and it hurts like hell. To see these "friends" I know since my early childhood mock me for my naivety. Until this day, it is hard to believe. I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one, In a short time you became the reason I get up in the morning and the reason I like to dream. And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone.
It's bittersweet to think about the damage that you did. You betrayed me.
For the first time since we broke up, I saw you in the street. You had your arm on a new girl. Showing her off like she's a new trophy. A happy and rested look on your face. I wish I dared to come running and punch that smile off your face, but I couldn’t move. You hang out in public with her, but never with me. I went home with tears in my eyes and no morale. It was the first time I managed to leave home after weeks of moping.
The more time passed, the more I felt my head getting out of the water. My body was less numb and I started breathing again, enjoying what I used to love. I adopted a little puppy at this time of my life, the kind we talked about in our long late-night discussion about our future together. You gave me your word. He's the world to me now. Milo, the dog.
The late afternoon often takes me to the beach. I let Milo run on the deserted beach and play with the waves. I take advantage of this moment of calm to observe the sunset. I breathe in and out deeply, letting my last thoughts of you go into the sea. I feel free. After three months of hell, I’m back to normal, like you never existed.
"Hi, bab..." That voice is yours. Why do you come back? Why do you haunt me like that? I turn around and there you are, in all your splendour. Your curls are more beautiful than ever, your face more beautiful than ever. I can't let you win. I walk away from the beach. Milo follows me. I feel your eyes following me soon it's your footsteps I hear. "Please, Y/n, I need to talk to you."
"I think you said enough. You should go back to your new girlfriend. I think she's getting lonely." I said without looking back. The waves fade and I feel your hand grab my arm.
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You Call It Madness But I Call It Love
Chapter 15: What Do You Know About Love?
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Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV
Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy.  This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters will fluctuate between past and present. This is chapter fifteen of my "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" series. (I'm so bad at summaries please forgive me!)
Word Count: 6.5K (I got carried away again)
Warnings: References to sex, Cursing, Angst, Crying,  Soldier Boy might be, is, really, absolutely, a little OOC, Soldier Boy is really all you need as a warning.
Note: This is told from the Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. Reader is described as "curvy" occasionally. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!
Internal Monologue is in first person and is in italics
Series Masterlist
Masterlist
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Present Day *Reader POV*
The shopping bags that hung from your arms would have been heavy for the average person, but for you it seemed like a bag full of pillows. It was the day after you saw Rosemary and said goodbye. Despite the almost excruciating hangover you had this morning, because it'd been almost forty years since you last had a drink, you dragged yourself to the mall to try and find outfits for your trip to Russia. You were satisfied with the few outfits you found, but you were worried because the plane left in a few hours and you were no where near ready.
Mentally or physically.
As much as you wanted to go help Ben, you still were apprehensive about the whole situation, not just about going in blind, but wondering what the hell you were going to do when you saw Ben. You wanted to hold on to your anger, but you were afraid that the moment you looked into his green eyes you would forgive him.
I am not going to forgive him. I'm going to break him out then tell him to fuck off and I never have to see him ever again.
Despite your apprehension, you knew that you had to do this, that you had to go help him even if you still hated him because you couldn't bear the thought of the boy you grew up with being tortured over there all alone. It was the alone part that hurt the most. You knew how much Ben hated being alone. He never had to say it out loud, but all the time you'd spent together in your bedroom before and after the injection spoke volumes.
Of course you still had no idea where you were going, but figured that if you went to the Kremlin you could get some answers, which meant you'd either have to lie your way in or just kill anyone in your path. Which would be messy, but necessary. You try to shake off the guilt of exposing yourself again and what that could mean for Rosemary and Lou. You made sure that Rosemary knew to pack a bag for herself and for Lou and told her to wait for your call.
You wanted to be there to escort them out of the city, didn't want to split up and have them get snagged while you were waiting for them at the rendezvous point, so you told Rosemary to take a few days off and lay low.
When you get to the outside door of your apartment building toting the bags, you notice that it's been broken, as if someone tried to pull it off its hinges.
Well that's great. Hopefully the building manager noticed that.
Your mind drifts back to Ben as you step into the elevator.
What if he isn't alive when I get there? It was an unwelcome thought, but it meant that you wouldn't have to talk to him.
 Maybe if I knock him out when I get there and just leave him in a Russian motel somewhere, I won't have to talk to him. You pause. Will he want to talk to me? 
The memory of the last time you spoke flashes through your mind bringing an unmeasurable amount of rage and heartbreak back over your body. The dam you built to keep out everything that happened was reaching capacity, especially given the recent events with Countess, and you knew that the moment you saw Ben it was going to burst open. You hoped that you'd be able to keep it together long enough to get out of the lab or wherever the hell he was being held, before you lost it. But it was doubtful.
As you walk down the hallway to you apartment, you notice that your front door is open and you stop walking. Apprehension spikes at the back of your mind as you examine the door. The lock is broken and  door is cracked just enough for you to hear people talking inside in hushed tones. You creep forward and look through the crack.
You've got to be kidding me. You groan to yourself noticing Butcher and Hughie standing in your living room.
Great. Just what I need. Right when I'm going to leave they show up. Guess that explains the mystery of the broken door downstairs.
You think about walking away, of going back down the elevator and hoping that by the time you come back they would be gone, but you knew you had to face them and you still had to pack. So you push open the front door of your apartment and step into the room.
"You know when I called saying that I had something else to say about Soldier Boy, I assumed you would call, not break into my apartment." You sigh before moving to the right side of the counter that divides the room between the living room and the kitchen and depositing the shopping bags on the stainless steel top.
"Maybe you shouldn’t leave your apartment unlocked poppet. Anyone could walk in." Butcher replies with a grin.
"Hmm. Sure. You guys here for more coffee?"
"Go shopping did you?" Butcher ignores your snark eyeing the bags.
"Yeah I needed a few new outfits for my art show next month." The lie is easy, but you know that the sudden appearance of the two of them probably meant you were caught red handed. Of course now with everything that happened with Countess, you didn't care anymore if Butcher and Hughie knew who you really were. "You doing okay there Hughie?" You raise an eyebrow as you notice how his heartbeat has spiked since you entered the apartment.
"Good." He says, but he looks uneasy.
Well, guess he's afraid of me now.
"Huh. And here I thought you were replacing your jacket." Butcher throws your ruined jacket onto the floor between you.
You look from the jacket to Butcher. You hadn't bought a replacement and hadn't wanted to throw it out. You were still hoping that the scorch marks looked like you had "distressed" it. It didn't and you knew that, but you loved that coat so much.
"See, I think it’s a big coincidence that Countess got right fucked after we came and talked to you." Butcher smiles.
"Probably the same coincidence as Gunpowder dying before you showed up here the first time." You breeze with a tight-lipped smile.
Where was he going with this? Was he here to kill me? You think about what Legend said about Butcher killing supes.
"That looks bad." Butcher gestures to the jacket. "You have a little spat with your good friend?”
"Let's just say she said a few things that upset me." Your eyes skate from Butcher to Hughie sizing them up. "If you're here to kill me, you're welcome to try. Oh sorry,  'arrest me'." You make air quotes around the words. "But we both know you're not government agents, you reek of Compound V and the last time I checked there was that whole, no supes in the government thing."
"Wouldn't it have been easier to get this out of the way the first time?" Hughie asks.
"I didn't want to be involved." You shrug your shoulders.
"Then why you'd buy a plane ticket to Russia?" Butcher takes a step towards you, but you hold your ground.
You weren't afraid of him.
"I hear it's nice this time of year. Not too hot, not too cold. Very pleasant." You snap back at him eyes narrowed, before you look down at the antique watch on your wrist. "Look I'd love to have a heart to heart, but I just don't have time to do this little dance with you. So we can either get to the part where you try to kill me or-" You raise your gaze from the watch to glare back at Butcher, but then your eyes focus on the hallway behind him and your heart stops.
Ben is standing there in the shadows looking at you the same way he always has, with those wonderful piercing green eyes that makes all other memories of them be put to shame. He's dressed in modern clothes, wearing a dark green shirt that hugs his perfect muscular chest and is the same color of his suit, your favorite color and the one you can never look at without thinking of him because damn it, it's also the color of his eyes. He looks the same, but different. His hair is longer and darker than it was the last time you saw him and his cheeks are covered by a trimmed but thick beard. It was unusual given that you'd never seen him with more than just a little bit of stubble and annoying because it makes him look even more ruggedly handsome, but despite the piercing way his eyes follow you, you can see a haunting memory of the last forty years.
You're upset that the one of the first thoughts you'd had beside staring at him open mouthed is that you wished you were wearing something more flattering than one of your pairs of paint splattered overalls over an old band t-shirt. You were going to Russia to get him and yes maybe you were shopping for things that you could move in, but you had picked out a particular revenge outfit that you believed would make Ben regret everything he did to you and also might have been paired with a particularly badass set of boots that made your legs look very long. The outfit that made you feel beautiful and sexy was unlike the one you were wearing at the moment. Also because you hadn't brushed your hair today and had just stuck it up in a messy bun at the back of your head.
You're struck with the urge to run to him and kill him at the same time, but you can't move and you can’t think.
Apart of you believed that you would find him dead in Russia, a sad thought but it meant that you wouldn't have to relive everything all over again. Everything that went to shit the last 24 hours you spent together that you relived with Countess the other day and now you were reliving when you looked at him standing there looking better than he should.
Because damn it, only Ben could be tortured in a lab for the past 40 years and walk away looking like a GQ model. I've never hated anyone more.
"Ben?" Your voice is no more than a hoarse whisper.
Ben pushes past Hughie and Butcher, taking careful steps towards you like he doesn't want to scare you away. "Y/n." The sound of your name on his lips fills you with an inescapable amount of warmth.
Traitor. You think to yourself at your body’s reaction.
He's standing so close to you now that you can smell the same shampoo and aftershave he always used and it brings back memories of the nights he spent in your bed with you laughing and talking like nothing had changed making you feel alive again for the first time in forty years. Before everything went into the blender set to puree.
Ben's eyes trace your body like he can't believe you're standing in front of him making you wish again that you're wearing the outfit you picked out so that you could look as good as he does. And just as he raises his hand towards your face you remember why you hated him, remember that night, remember what Countess said that caused her to lose her head.
Your hand flashes out so quick you don't think Ben notices it until it lands with a resounding slap against his cheek that sends him reeling back from you. Your strengths were similar, almost identical, and if he hadn't been invulnerable it would have ripped his perfect jaw from his face.
"What the fuck was that for?" Ben snaps, green eyes blazing as he looks back at you.
"You've got some nerve coming back here after all these years." You spit, the anger rising in your chest with wings of fury that beat against your ribcage. "Did you really think that you could just say my name again and make me forget everything that happened Benjamin? I am not one of those trashy women that you used to fuck and the fact that you think you can show up here, give me the fucking puppy dog eyes, and think that I’ll swoon, is ridiculous!”
There goes the dam.
Your gaze levels on Hughie and Butcher who look just as stunned. "And you two. Why did you bring him here? I didn’t want any part of this!”
"Why did you pretend to be dead!" Hughie shouts back.
"Did you think that maybe that was me trying to tell you that I didn't want to be involved? Or are you two just that fucking stupid?"
"Why did you buy a plane ticket then?" Butcher asks again, raising an eyebrow.
Ben is watching you with anger burning in his eyes. It's difficult for you to look at him. Every time you do you think about your last night together, the morning after when he pushed you away, and finally the night where he ripped out your heart and stomped all over it.
How did I ever think I could look at him again when I got him out of Russia?
"Because even though I hate him. He doesn't deserve that. The Ben I knew would have come to get me, and I wasn't going to leave him to rot in some fucking Russian prison." You snap back. "Now get out of my apartment."
"Sweetheart-" Ben begins to say.
"No. No. No. I don't want to hear it from you. Nothing you can say can make this better. I’m glad you’re free or whatever, but go. Get out." You push past him, but Ben's hand flashes out and grabs your wrist with enough force that you feel the bruising of your skin.
"No." He towers over you.
"Let. Me. Go." Your eyes narrow shifting to bright purple. The entire room begins to tremble, the glass windows shake in their panes and the glass jars full of paint brushes on your studio table begin to clink against one another. But he doesn't remove his hand.
"Not until you listen." Ben's own green eyes have hardened into a emerald.
You latch onto the wrist that is holding you and break his grip, before spinning and throwing him backward across the room away from you. Ben's body flies past Hughie and Butcher who watch with wide eyes as he hits the back of the couch and pinwheels over it with a loud thud as he lands on the cushions. You would have rather thrown him into the brick living room wall, but you restrained yourself.
"I don't want to hear anything you have to say Benjamin. You said enough that night and apparently you were saying lots of things to Countess about me. So get out." Your eyes skate across Butcher and Hughie. "All of you."
Hughie is still watching you with wide eyes, like he can't believe that just happened.
Join the club kid.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Ben shouts, standing from the couch and straightening his clothes. You don't need to be a psychic to know how angry he is. In fact, you're surprised he's not throwing you out the window or at least throwing a punch. Ben didn't tolerate it when anyone put him in his place and it definitely looks like it's taking him an extreme amount of effort not to attack you, given the way his hands are clenched into fists and the way his jaw is tensed so tightly you can see the muscle flexing.
"She told me what you said about me. That you threw me a pity fuck because you felt sorry for me, that you were bored when we had sex because I was so inexperienced."
"It's not true."
"Isn’t it?" You're trying desperately not to cry, but the angry tears have already begun to well up in your eyes. "The last thing you sad to me was that I was pathetic and that you never would love me, never could love me. That you fucked me because you felt bad for me and you wished I would just fuck off. That I was just another warm pussy and that I meant nothing to you. So forgive me for not believing you."
"Oh shit." Butcher mutters under his breath.
"Damn." Hughie echoes.
"I know what I said to you, Y/n. I've spent the past 40 years regretting it-" Ben begins to say, but you interrupt him.
"Oh I'm so sure. The Great Soldier Boy actually has a conscience, let me just alert the media." You spit back. "Oh wait, sorry you wouldn't want that getting out would you Ben? Because that would mean you aren't a man."
"Y/n-" He growls.
"You don't get to come in here and apologize and act like you did nothing wrong. You're not here because you feel sorry, you're here because you want me to dote on you, to follow you around and give a shit like I did for 40 fucking years.”
“Y/n-“
"Stop saying my name like that!" You shout and the glass sugar dish on the counter flies off the counter and smashes into the floor sending shards of glass everywhere.
Hughie flinches.
"Like what?" Ben exclaims.
"Like you care." You cross your arms over your chest staring him down because you don't want to keep crying.
"I do fucking care about you-" Ben snaps running his hand through his dark hair frustrated.
"No you don't. You never did. You’ve made that perfectly clear.”
"Yes I do."
"Please stop talking."
"What else do you want me to say?" Ben shouts back, moving towards you. "I'm trying to fucking apologize-"
"I don't want you to say anything and I don't want to hear your half-assed apology! I want you to leave. You and your creepy friends." You gesture back to where Hughie and Butcher are watching with open mouths, who are unsure if they should leave or watch the show.
"They're not my friends."
"And neither am I! Which means I don’t have to listen to anything you have to say!”
"Y/n please-" His teeth are gritted together.
“I'm not some fangirl Ben. I was your friend, your friend before any of this. Before any of this fucking supe shit. I cared about you. I had been in love with you since I was 8. I had taken care of you since the night we met." More tears squeeze down your cheeks as a lifetime of happy memories before everything went down the drain wash over you. The wonderful times you'd shared together at the park, in your bedroom back in Philadelphia, dancing in the dancehall,  at baseball games and Ben walking you home all the while you wobbled down the street drunkenly and sang off key. All the blissful little moments that you thought maybe he felt the same way about you and then followed by the moments you spent together the night of your birthday, when you felt more special and loved than you'd ever had. It makes the knife he stuck in your back even sharper. 
"That night we spent together meant everything to me. I thought it was special and I thought you loved me. But you don't. You just fucked me because you were bored and you found the first person who said yes.” Your body turns away, but he grabs you by the shoulders to make you look at him.
"I do love you damnit!" He shouts. "I didn't want to-" Ben's jaw clenches in frustration, looking back at Butcher and Hughie. "Can you two just fuck off?"
"I wish you all would." You say, trying to loosen his grip on your shoulders, but he doesn't let go. You think about throwing him across the room again, because it made you feel a lot better.
"Fine. We'll be outside." Butcher says tugging Hughie away.
"Are you sure?" Hughie asks looking from you to Ben as if he's worried to leave the two of you alone.
"You want to be here? Because they're either going to kill each other or start fucking." Butcher responds.
"We are not going to start-" You begin, but they're already out the front door of your apartment leaving you alone with Ben, who is still holding on to your shoulders.
"Please listen to me." Ben says looking deep into your eyes. "When you said that you loved me it-" He stops looking for the right word as if he can't say the next ones that come out of his mouth. "Oh fuck it, it fucking scared me. Okay?  It scared me, Y/n, and damnit I'm not a pussy! I'm not afraid of anything!"
“Oh no you could never be a pussy could you? Soldier Boy could never admit that he had real feelings for someone.” Your voice wobbles, tears trailing down your cheeks as you poke him in the chest to emphasize every word. “And now you’re just saying what I want to hear, because you want to have another quick fuck!” You push your hands against his chest trying to push him off of you, but he won't let go. "You're just saying it because its been forty years since you had sex and you thought, huh might as well find the most pathetic person I know, Y/n won't say no if I pretend to be everything she wanted again."
He doesn't mean it. He doesn't love me.
"I’m not lying to you! And I’m not pretending! I wasn't pretending that night either!” Ben roars so loudly you flinch. “That night I felt things with you that I had never felt with anyone else. It wasn't cheap sex or a quick fuck-" His jaw tightens as if he's embarrassed to admit it. "Damn it.” His teeth are gritted together. “We made love. I understood that when I woke up the next morning and I was happy to be there with you. I knew that I loved you and I wanted to tell you, but I fucked it all up instead. I fucked Countess because I was scared of what loving you meant. But I’m ready now, I’m not scared anymore. I love you!”
He's saying everything you always wanted him to, but you're scared. Scared that he's just saying it, that he thinks it's what you want to hear and this is the only way that he can get you back into his life because he needs someone to follow him around, because he can't be alone.
You stand there for a minute taking in his stance. His head is slightly bowed in shame, shoulders tight, body leaning towards you. But then you catch his eye, you see the sorrow, frustration, and pain in his gaze. Ben was not big on sharing feelings and for him to admit all of these things aloud was shocking enough without the obvious emotions flashing in his eyes. It was so different than the stoic or pissed off attitude he usually had when he was Soldier Boy. The look in his eyes is so earnest and Ben has never been a good liar, not to you anyway. You always knew what he was thinking.
If I forgive him then what does that mean? I forget the past 40 years like they never happened? I forget all the tears when he broke my heart? Forget how broken I was? How broken I still am?
You think of all the times you missed him, all the times you forgot about what he said to you and remembered the good, all the times you wanted him there with you and Rosemary because you knew he would love to be there. All the early memories together, all the missions, everything that lead up to the falling out and Ben’s supposed death. Ben's admission of guilt and his confession of love for you was shocking. Especially because the Ben you knew 40 years ago would have rather dropped dead than say the words "make love."
No. I won't give in. I can't do this, I can't do this all over again. I was better, I was moving on, he doesn't have the right to come here and mess up my life all over again.
"No." You shout, shoving him away with all your strength. Ben stumbles backward, his eyes wide as if he wasn't expecting you to push him away, because of course he wasn't. “You don’t know anything about love. You’re just saying that because you know it’s what I want to hear, what I’ve always wanted you to say to me.”
He still doesn't understand how much he hurt me. And he doesn't deserve my forgiveness.
“I’m not just saying that, it’s true. Please y/n-“
"I don't believe you. And when I said I never wanted to see you ever again I wasn't lying. So get out Ben!" You shout.
"No. I love you and I'm not leaving." Ben says back determined.
You weren't prepared for what those words did to you. You weren't prepared for the floodgate of emotions that exploded the moment those words passed through his lips or the way it felt like you were being tugged in two different directions. Because despite wanting to throw him across the room again, those three little words made you want to run into his arms and hold him close, made you want him to take you to bed and make you forget all the shitty things that happened forty years ago, make it like he never left.
But you couldn't do it. As much as you wanted to forgive him, you couldn't because you didn't trust him anymore, you didn't trust that he could give you what you wanted.
“Too bad! I won’t do this to myself again. All I did was care about you, help you. I stood by you and made excuses for the person you became and I held on to this picture of the boy you used to be. The one I fell in love with. The one that used to climb in my window when things were hard. The one that took me to my first baseball game. The one who danced with me. The one that made me feel like less of a freak because he understood me. And the one that begged me to leave Howard and everything I knew and come with him. That night we were together I saw that boy again.  I loved that boy. I would have done anything for him and I did. But he’s not here anymore. And I hate myself for holding on to him as long as I did.”
"But I told you I loved you!" Ben exclaims.
“Just saying that isn’t enough, not after everything that happened!” You shout. "You're forty years too late Benjamin. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m exhausted and I’m going to go to bed. And I don’t want you to be here when I wake up.”
"Y/n please-" You hate how he sounds when he says it, like he's broken, because Ben has never once sounded that way in all the years you'd known him. You hate how he looks. How his dark hair is falling forward into his face and he looks so much like the boy you used to love that it makes you want to scream, because you wanted to believe that he was gone, but all you see when you look up at him is that boy. There is not one shred of Soldier Boy in the way he looks right now and you hate that. You hate that you wanted to forgive him, that all it took was him looking like at you like that. But you still can't do it.
"Just go." Your throat thickening as you say it, fresh tears trailing down your cheeks. "I don't want you here. I never want you to come here ever. I never want to see you again.” You lie pushing past him and walk down the dark hallway, slamming and locking your bedroom door behind you. Your body sinks to the floor as you pull your knees up into your chest, sobs shaking your body and tears pour from your eyes.
How many tears can I spend on one man? How do I still have any left after all these years? How could I have been stupid to think that I was over him? That I could just go to Russia, break him out, and then push him out of my life so easily? None of what just happened was easy.
Your face presses into your knees. You want to call Rosemary, call her and tell her what happened, but your phone is still on the counter and you couldn't go back out there, because you knew he was still there. Standing in your living room looking too perfect after all these years and saying all the things you always wanted him to and you don’t want to go out there and forgive him.
So you stay. Your back pressed against the door, crying into your knees and hoping that this will just all end.
Because it’s got to one day right?
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*Soldier Boy POV*
He hadn't meant to reach for you, but all he wanted was to feel the gentle swell of your cheek beneath the palm of his hand, the smoothness of your skin against his rough fingertips, and to memorize the planes of your face with his touch. You were even more beautiful than he remembered. Your curves perfectly accentuated by a pair of cute paint splattered overalls that made him smile, and your hair pulled away from your face in a messy bun but still made you look effortless and striking. When he saw you standing there, it was like taking a punch to the gut. He knew that he missed you, but seeing you there warm and alive made him want to crush you against his chest and never let you go ever again.
He had laid himself bare before you, allowing himself to push through the urge  to shove all his emotions back beneath the surface as his father taught him, and spoke, instead, the words he wished that he had said all those years ago.
Ben's shoulders tense when he thinks of what you shouted back at him, how broken you looked. His heart falls into the pit of his stomach when he remembers the tears in your eyes. Ben hated it when you cried. He also hated that the first time he saw you in forty years he made you cry, again.
He didn't know how to fix this. Ben thought that his apology would be enough to make you at least try to forgive him, but it hadn't. You had shoved him away from you, refused to let him touch you or comfort you-
Why is she so damn stubborn? I apologized! I told her that I loved her! Isn’t that what she wanted?
He grits his teeth together thinking about how you threw him across the room like he weighed nothing. If anyone else had done that to him, Ben would have killed them, but he knew that he deserved it. He knew you would be mad, but he thought that you would at least want to hear everything he had to say instead of cursing him out and slamming the door in his face.
When you slammed your door behind you, he had stood outside of it for an hour listening to you cry, heard your soft muffled sobs. At one point he leaned his head against the door and wished you would let him in so he could hold you while you cried, even though the thought made him feel like a pussy. He wanted to comfort you. He wished you had forgiven him, allowed him to take you to bed, allowed him to show you how sorry he was and how much he loved you. He wished that you let him help you forget the last shitty forty years that you spent without him, forget what he said and what he did to you that night. 
The harsh words you yelled at him make him flinch, when you told him that you didn't want him there and never wanted him to come back. They were the words that he always feared you would say to him when he climbed in through your window at night or when he showed up at your apartment when you were still on Payback. And hearing you say those words felt worse than anything those Russian fucks did to him. Because Ben didn't know where he belonged if he wasn't with you, he didn't know what to do if you weren't in his life, you were the only thing that mattered.
How could I fuck this up this much?
Ben looks back at the clock on the wall in the kitchen which shows he'd been there for three hours waiting for you to come out of your room, but you hadn't. He knew it was because you fell asleep, he could hear your heart beat, your soft breath against the pillows, and the almost silent sounds you made when you slept. They were exactly the same as when he would fall asleep next to you and damn it he didn't realize how much he missed them until this exact moment.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. How do I fucking fix this?
Ben stands from the couch and walks down the hallway for the millionth time to stand outside your door preparing to knock, but he didn't know what to say. He thought that he'd said enough, but judging by your reaction he hadn't.
The thought of saying anything else was difficult for him to swallow. It was hard enough to say what he had to you, but he was realizing he was going to have to delve even deeper to make you even look at him again or want to be around him. 
Finally he goes to the front door of your apartment before he looks back down the hallway. He didn't want to leave, didn't want you to wake up and him not be there despite what you said about wanting him to leave. He wanted you to understand that he wasn't going anywhere and that he was never going to leave you ever again no matter how hard you tried to push him away. But he needed to leave now, not for long, just long enough for him to get what he needed.
He had seen the florist shop on the corner when Butcher drove up. As Ben walked down the street in the direction of the florist he remembered the conversation he had with Butcher after you slammed your door in his face. Convincing Butcher to let him remain in the apartment was difficult, but finally when Ben threatened to rip Hughie in half, Butcher relented stating that he would give Ben one night with you before he came back. That was the deal anyway, Ben had lied, because like hell he was going to leave now that he'd found you again.
Ben wasn't planning on leaving and  even if you couldn't stand to look at him, Ben would not go. Even if it meant sleeping on that shitty couch every night.
He would never leave you again.
The smell of the flowers wafted out of the small shop when Ben opens the door, his eyes skating across the numerous bouquets, each one more extravagant than the last. Other women would swoon over them, but not you. His eyes fall first on roses, but he turns away. He knew that you didn’t like roses, although many believed them to be classic, Ben knew that you thought over the years that roses had become generic and overused. He of course had sent some to numerous women over the years, but he liked that you were different. He always liked that about you. He rolls his eyes when he remembered when Howard bought you some every week.
Because of course that asshole didn’t know what y/n liked. No one knows her as well as me.
The man behind the counter eyes him when he walks in. "Can I help you find something sir?"
"No." Ben says gruffy looking at the displays again, but then he sighs. "Do you have any lavender?"
"Lavender?"
"Yeah." Ben knew it was the only thing that you would accept, knew that it was your favorite because it reminded you of the house your family rented over the summers up North. Ben hated those summers. He'd break into your bedroom and sleep in your bed while thinking of you and reading the letters you sent him over and over again, the ones that you pressed fresh lavender into and the ones that made him realize just how much he needed you.
Those of course weren’t the only letters you ever sent him. When he went to boarding school he’d wait for you to send him a letter and one of your doodles or a small painting. He kept every one in a cigar box under his bed. It was why he was kicked out of boarding school number nine, a fight he had with another student began because the student had found the box and then proceeded to mock Ben endlessly by passing around the letters you sent him. Ben had never told you what the fight was about.
Ben stops as he realizes how he’s going to get you to listen to him.
“Here you are sir.” The florist reappears at the counter holding a large vase of freshly cut lavender.
“Do you have a phone I can borrow?” Ben asks.
“Sure.”
The object the man hands him is not a phone, well not a phone that Ben’s ever seen before.
“I said a phone-“
“That is a phone?” The man looks confused.
“How do I fucking call someone with this?” Ben sighs shaking the black rectangle in his hand and looking for the buttons.
The man takes the object and swipes his fingers across it before handing it back to him so Ben can see the numbers to dial. “Just push what you want and hit the green button.” The man says, looking at Ben like he's crazy.
“Oh. Thanks.” He mutters, before dialing the number and holding the phone up to his ear.
Legend answers on the first ring.
“Hey it’s me. Do you still have all my old shit from my apartment?”
“Somewhere.”
“I’ll be there in 10 minutes.”
******************************************
N/A: Why not end on a cliffhanger? This chapter is a bit longer, because this week is CRAZY for me and I'm not sure when I'll be able to write the next chapter. But I'm not giving up on these two. They deserve the world.
Thank you so much for reading! Let me know what you guys think. If you'd like to be added to my taglist, please let me know :)
Taglist: @roseblue373 @anundyingfidelity @cheynovak @cassiecasluciluce @muhahaha303 @deans-spinster-witch @kayleighmeister @demodemo909 @fruitfacess @bobbobbobinogs @bughill126 @simplyfixated @sleepjam @tiredstrangerr @freefallthoughts @onlyangel-444 @lov3vivian @mxltifxnd0m @mayafatimakhan @marvel-mistress @my-obsession-spn @lifeonawhim @soldirboy @liuope @brynanna @abramswife @xxannyxx @babyinatrench-coat1 @the-gentle-spirit
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snwprl · 1 day
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𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐏𝐈𝐓𝐘 | 𝐥𝐞𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧
pairing. lee chan (dino) x reader genre. fluff. warnings. bestfriends to lovers trope, kissing summary. "Where do you see yourself in the next ten years?", "Hmm, maybe I'll be a famous astronaut" Chan chuckled and asked. "That's cool, but what if... what if I was with you?" word count. 1352 a/n. GUYS! MAESTRO. STREAM. NOW! I wasn't going to post this until later but i had to talk about maestro being such a masterpiece! i had to come here and talk! seventeen always hits hard with their comebacks! I'M CRYINGGGGG! BRB
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The worn swing set creaked as Y/n pushed herself lazily back and forth, the setting sun casting a warm glow on the children's playground. Chan sat beside her, fiddling with a loose shoelace. They'd spent countless afternoons here, building forts, climbing the rusty monkey bars, and forging a friendship that transcended scraped knees and shared ice cream cones.
"Hey, Y/n," Chan started, his voice barely a whisper.
Y/n stopped swinging and tilted her head towards him. "Yeah?"
"Where do you see yourself in the next ten years?"
The question which seemed to come out of nowhere, hung in the air, a foreign concept to their ten-year-old minds. Ten years seemed like an eternity. Y/n pondered, kicking her legs out to propel the swing higher.
"Hmm, maybe I'll be a famous astronaut," she declared, her eyes sparkling with imaginary constellations. "I'll be exploring different planets, discovering new life forms."
Chan chuckled. "That's cool, but what if... what if I was with you?"
His question warmed Y/n's cheeks. "With me, on a spaceship?"
"No, silly," Chan mumbled, avoiding her gaze. "Just... with you, in general."
The sudden shift in seriousness surprised Y/n. She felt a flicker of something new ignite in her chest, something beyond the comfort of a best friend. It was a seed planted that day, buried beneath the innocence of childhood.
.・。.・゜✭・❤・✫・゜・。.
Years flew by like leaves in a whirlwind. They navigated the awkward middle school phase together, Chan with his ever-growing frame and Y/n with her blossoming self-confidence. High school brought a new wave of emotions. Y/n found herself stealing glances at Chan during lunch, admiring the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed, the way his jaw clenched in concentration while studying.
One lazy Sunday afternoon, while sprawled on the living room floor surrounded by college brochures, Y/n decided to play a prank.
"Hey, Chan," she nudged him playfully. "Rumor has it you've had this giant crush on someone since forever. True or false?"
Chan choked on his laughter, spitting out a stray Cheerio. "What?! Who told you that?"
Y/n smirked while building up a lie. "The gossip fairies, obviously. Come on, spill. Who's the lucky girl?"
Chan averted his gaze, cheeks flushing a familiar red. "It's... no one. Just a silly rumor."
"You're telling me that you've had zero crushes your entire life? That's bullshit. Tell me who it is." Chan remained stubbornly silent.
“It’s not like that” Chan shyly replied while burying his face on some random college brochure. 
“Then tell me..” Y/N tried to tickle him, a playful war of wills unfolding between them.
.・。.・゜✭・❤・✫・゜・。.
College brought them to different cities, the constant physical connection severed. Yet, technology bridged the gap. Late-night phone calls, filled with laughter and whispered secrets, kept them close. One particularly lonely night, Y/n mustered up the courage to revisit their childhood question.
"Hey, Channie," she said, her voice soft over the phone line.
"Yeah, Y/n?"
"Do you remember when we were little, sitting on that old swing set?"
“Yeah, you said you wanted to be a famous astronaut” he softly laughed at the irony because you were studying to be a graphic designer.
“True, but do you remember what you said?” Y/n's heart hammered against her ribs. 
That childhood question, once a whisper in the golden light of the setting sun, now hung heavy with unspoken emotions.
"Nope! No. No, I don't," Chan interjected a little too quickly.
Y/n chuckled. "Come on, don't play dumb. We were ten, talking about the future."
"Right, the future," Chan mumbled, his voice strained. "Look, it's getting late, we should probably—"
"Do you remember what you said?" Y/n pressed gently.
Silence. Then, a barely audible whisper, "Yeah, I remember."
"You said you wanted to be with me in the next ten years." The words hung heavy in the air, a shared memory dusted off after years.
"Y/n..."
A pause. Y/n's heart pounded in her chest. "Well, Chan?"
He was in love with her. The weight of that realisation both terrified and thrilled her. It was like a missing puzzle piece finally clicking into place.
.・。.・゜✭・❤・✫・゜・。.
They graduated, entered the 'real world', and found themselves back in the same city. Y/n, now a budding graphic designer, and Chan, pursuing his passion for music. They fell into a comfortable routine, spending weekends catching up, sharing dreams and anxieties.
One evening, walking home from their favourite ramen joint, the city lights painting the night sky, a comfortable silence settled between them. Suddenly, Chan stopped, turning towards her.
"Y/n," he began, his voice serious. "There's something I need to tell you."
Y/n's heart skipped a beat. "What is it?"
He took a deep breath, his eyes searching hers. "I... I've been wanting to tell you something for a long time," Chan finished, his voice barely a whisper. The streetlamp cast a golden glow on his face, highlighting the vulnerability in his eyes. Y/n, her own cheeks burning, felt a nervous flutter in her stomach.
"What is it, Chan?" she prompted, her voice barely above a whisper. The silence stretched, thick with unspoken emotions. Finally, with a rush that took his breath away, Chan blurted out, "I'm in love with you, Y/n. I have been for a long time."
The weight of years lifted from Y/n's shoulders. A soft smile played on her lips. "You just found out?" she teased, mirroring his confession from their phone call years ago.
Chan's surprised laugh was a relief in the tense air. "You... you already knew?"
Y/n nodded shyly. "Maybe a little bit." Their eyes locked, both hesitantly reaching out, fingers brushing against each other like a test of the waters. The touch sent a spark of electricity through them, a jolt that ignited a dormant fire.
Suddenly, a loud car horn blared, startling them apart. They both burst into laughter, the tension dissipating into nervous energy.
"So," Y/n said, a playful glint in her eyes, "what are you going to do about it?"
Chan grinned, his eyes twinkling with a newfound confidence. "Well, how about we start with this?"
Before Y/n could react, he leaned in, his lips meeting hers in a hesitant peck. It was a simple touch, barely a brush of skin, but it sent a shiver of excitement down her spine.
They pulled back, both breathless. Y/n looked up at him, her eyes searching his. The spark was undeniable.
"Again," she whispered, her voice barely a breath.
Chan didn't hesitate this time. He cupped her face in his hands, his thumbs gently stroking her cheeks. His kiss was different this time, deeper, filled with unspoken emotions they had both kept buried for years. It was a meeting of finally acknowledged feelings, a slow burn igniting into a passionate dance.
They pulled away slowly, foreheads resting together. The night air buzzed with the unspoken promises hanging between them.
"Wow," Y/n breathed, a shaky smile on her lips.
"Yeah," Chan murmured, his voice husky. "Wow."
They stood there for a moment, lost in the afterglow of their first real kiss. The streetlight seemed to dim just a fraction, creating a world of their own under the city lights.
"So," Y/n began, a playful smile returning to her face. "Does this mean no more pretending you don't remember the swing set incident?"
Chan chuckled, a low rumble in his chest. "Maybe I can make it up to you. Next time, the ten year plan will be a bit more specific."
Y/n laughed, leaning into him. "I like the sound of that."
Their future, once a fuzzy blur, was now starting to take shape, coloured by a newfound certainty. The childhood promise whispered on a swing set had finally blossomed into something real, a love story finally finding its voice.
As they walked hand-in-hand towards their home, the city lights twinkled above, a silent witness to the beginning of something beautiful – a love story ten years in the making.
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Anime only watchers and people who aren't caught up with the Manga, BEWARE... Cuz I'm about to discuss Spy X Family Mission 97... You have been warned...! 👌
[SPOILERS AHEAD FROM THIS POINT ON]
OMG OMG OMG OMG!! THIS CHAPTER WAS AMAZING...!!! 💗😍💗
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This chapter goes into detail about Mathra and Henderson's pasts together, and I LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT!! 😍 So without further ado, let's talk about Mission 97 shall we...? 👍
The chapter began with Henderson talking to the matron, who mentioned that she overheard that him and Mathra made quite the darling couple, then Henderson says...:
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I LOVE THIS PANEL SO MUCH!! 💗😍💗 And I was like: Suuuure Henderson, y'all are "Just Friends"...!! 😏
Then it cuts to the past and we see a young Henderson watching a young Martha preform ballet at a New Year's party talent show at Eden Academy...:
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...AND IT WAS THE FIRST TIME HE SAID "ELEGANT"!! IT WAS BECAUSE OF HER!! 🤩
(This is just so sweet, man...!! 💗🥹💗)
Anyway, after Martha's performance she gained friends, while Henderson lost friends, all because he called her performance elegant and got the nickname Mr. Elegant...! 👌😌 (I say it was worth it...! 😎)
Some time later, Henderson is having some tea before class and Martha comes across him. He then offers if she wants some and they start hanging out together...!! 🤗
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Three years later, we see Henderson getting harassed and by these three jerks for just being who he is, when suddenly...:
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MARTHA (I mean, Lady M) CAME TO HELP HENDERSON!! 😆 (She also said the "human beings ARE animals" thing that Becky said all the way back in Mission 25!! 👏😆 So that's where she got it from...!! 😌) Henderson then scolds Martha for using her ballet skills for fighting, but then she brings up that he threw a punch too and runs off to tell his teacher of his inelegance...!! 🤣
His teacher brings up that Henderson has been boycotting his military training courses and if he keeps it up, he'll get a Tonitrus Bolt... After that, Martha meets up with Henderson, who declares to fight not with his fist, but...:
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In that moment, Henderson decided that he was gonna change the world with education. But in doing so, he started to push Martha away... 😔 (She even asked him if he was gonna invite someone to the graduation dance and he told her that he doesn't have time for something like that...! 🥲)
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After a brief flash forward of Martha telling Becky about her past with Henderson, we go back to the past to see a nineteen year old Martha, who's now in her last year of Eden:
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A new faculty member has joined Eden Academy, and it is none other than Mr. Elegant himself, Henry Henderson!! 👏😆:
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AND THAT'S THE END!! 😱 Is this going to be continued in the next chapter, or is this a one and done type situation...?! 🤔 Which ever way it's gonna go in the next chapter, I ADORED THIS CHAPTER SO MUCH!! 😍
I'm a sucker for learning characters pasts, so this chapter was super enjoyable for me!! 😄 Especially since WE'RE FINALLY LEARNING ABOUT WHAT HENDERSON & MARTHA'S RELATIONSHIP WAS LIKE!! 😍
Gosh, I could probably talk about this chapter for hours, but I think I'll stop here for now...!! 😁 I really hope that there's gonna be a second part to Martha and Henderson's story because I'm so invested in them!! 😆
But anyway, that was Mission 97, I clearly loved it and I can't wait for the chapter!! 😁 So until the next Mission; take care, be safe out there and be kind to each other...!! 🤗
Also, I love that we get to see a young Donna Schlag as well:
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We haven't seen her since Mission 61!! 😆 But yeah, that's pretty much it!! See you all in the next one...!! LATERS!! 👋😄
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saras-almanac · 3 days
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BuckTommyWeekend Day 1: Alternate First Meeting
Title:  This seat taken?
Fandom:  911 (ABC)
Pairing:  Buck/Tommy
Summary:  Buck and Tommy meet at a restaurant for the first time. For the prompt: Alternate First Meeting for @bucktommyweek
Notes: There’s so many potential first meetings for these two both within canon and outside of it. I’m behind on writing for this weekend so just went with one that’s a bit quicker, but will probably expand on in the future before posting to AO3. (And/or might do more potential first meetings because there’s so many options and not all of them will lead to them actually being together at that specific moment in time, but it’d be fun…)
Buck sat at the bar, pretending to check his phone while he glanced over at where Josh and his date were sitting. Josh was seemingly having a good time, plus his date was pretty cute, so maybe this would be a win for him. Buck hoped so.
“This seat taken?”
Buck startled and looked over and saw a man—a very attractive man—stood next to him, inclining a hand toward the stool next to him.
Buck shook his head. “N-no. It’s all yours. I mean, if you want it.”
The man smiled and sat down. “Thanks. Just need to wait for my order.”
As he sat down, Buck noticed a logo on the side of this man’s jacket, one that looked incredibly familiar as it was on Buck’s own work clothes.
“Woah. Is that an LAFD jacket? Are you a firefighter?” Buck asked excitedly.
The man smiled. “Yeah. Work at Harbor station now though. Mostly flying planes and helicopters rather than running into any burning buildings.”
“That’s so cool. I’ve always thought being able to fly a plane, like pilot one, would feel like you have super powers,” Buck said. “Does it feel like that?”
“I suppose that’s a good way to look at it,” the man said. “I’m Tommy, by the way.”
“Evan Buckley,” Buck said, reaching out a hand. Tommy shook it, even at the awkward angle since they were sitting so close together. “So when did you learn to fly?”
“A while ago, back when I was in the Army,” Tommy said.
“Have you always been air support for LAFD?” Buck asked.
“No,” Tommy said. “I was on the ground or many years, but just felt like I was missing it. Transferred to Harbor five, six years ago now. I really missed flying so it was a good choice.”
“I bet,” Buck said. “If I could fly, I’d probably never want to be on the ground.”
“Well, I can give you a tour of the place if you’re interested,” Tommy offered kindly. “Show you some of the toys, how things work.”
“That would be awesome,” Buck said. “But I don’t want to trouble you. I mean, you’re just waiting for your food and I’m talking your ear off about work. I-I’m sure the last thing you want to do is talk about your job after just getting off a shift.”
“I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t mean it,” Tommy said. “And I could have always ignored you or told you I didn’t want to talk about work if I wanted.”
“I guess,” Buck said. “I forget sometimes that not everyone likes talking about their job.”
“So then I guess I have to ask, what do you do?”
“Oh, um,” Buck rubbed at the back of his neck. “I’m a firefighter.”
“No kidding,” Tommy said with a laugh. “Which station?”
“The 118,” Buck said proudly.
“Now you’re fucking with me,” Tommy said. “I transferred to Harbor from the 118.”
“That’s crazy! So you do you know Cap? Captain Bobby Nash?” Buck asked.
“Yeah,” Tommy said. “He was just getting settled there when I transferred.”
“What about Hen? You’ve got to know Chimney. I think he’s been there since it was built.”
Tommy smiled and his nose crinkled and Buck had never seen anything more adorable in his entire life. “Howie and I go way back, from before he was called Chimney. And Hen, she’s one of the best firefighters I’ve ever worked with.”
“They’re the best,” Buck said. “It’s so crazy that you know them too!”
Buck glanced over at Josh again. He’d be furious with himself if he got distracted by this god-like man sitting next to him when his friend needed him. Still seemed to be going well.
“I don’t mean to pry, but I do have to ask,” Tommy started, “You’re not stalking those men, are you?”
Buck whipped his head over to look at him. “What?”
“It’s just, I saw you watching them when I first got here. And now you’re looking over again. Just checking things are… all right,” Tommy said.
Buck felt himself blush a bit because he was the world’s worst undercover wingman. “Okay so one of those guys is my friend, Josh. He’s had some rough luck dating and he was feeling a bit nervous, so I offered to come and hang out at the bar while he was on his date. Just in case anything happened, he’d have back up or whatever he needed.”
Tommy blinked. “You’re giving up your night to sit alone at the bar just in case your friend’s date turned out to be an asshole?”
“Yeah. I guess,” Buck said.
Tommy smiled at him, shaking his head fondly. “That’s really sweet of you.”
“I’m just helping out a friend,” Buck said, feeling uncomfortable. “I’d do it for anyone.”  
Before they could talk any more, a waitress came out with Tommy’s food, stealing his attention. Their chat was less than 10 minutes but Buck felt like he could have spent hours talking with Tommy. He tried not to be annoyed that his food came and he was going to leave—the man had probably just gotten off a shift, probably a twelve or thirty-six hour shift, based on it being night. Tommy deserved to grab his food and then head home to eat and crash.
It didn’t mean that it didn’t suck though. But it’s fine. Buck would go back to checking his phone and keeping an eye out for Josh.
Tommy placed a hand on Buck’s shoulder. “Well, it was a delight to bump into you and I enjoyed our conversation. You made the end of a long thirty-six hours speed by as I waited for my food.”
“I’ve been told I do that,” Buck said, completely distracted by the weight of Tommy’s hand on his shoulder.  
Tommy laughed like Buck had told the funniest joke he’d ever heard. He removed his hand and smiled. “And I’m serious about giving you a tour if you want.”
“I’d like that,” Buck said. “Um, should I call the station?”
Tommy smiled again and shook his head. “It’ll be easier if you just let me know directly. I can make sure there’s time and be the one to give you the tour.”
Tommy reached down to grab the pen sitting on top of his receipt and then scribbled his number on a napkin. “Take care, Evan.”
Hearing Evan come out of Tommy’s mouth was surprising, but surprising in a good way—in a way that Buck wasn’t going to think much about right now. “Yeah. Yeah. Uh, you too, Tommy. I’ll—I’ll text you.”
“Sounds good.” Tommy grabbed his bag. “Oh, and good luck with the rest of your date.”
With that, Tommy laughed a little and then walked out, leaving Buck sitting there, carefully holding the napkin and wondering exactly what was happening with fate right now. Maybe his luck was turning around.
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a-hazbin-soul · 2 days
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Velvette x reader: Angel's adopted sister 1/?
Warnings: Valentino being a jackass, potential smut in the future
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You parked your little black car near the V tower and made your way inside. You were always a little early picking up Angel Dust. Party because his schedule was a mess and a little bit because you loved watching Velvette work her magic.
"I should be done here in 40 minutes unless Val decides to be a dick."
"Okay, I'll be there soon."
It didn't take long for you to see Velvette getting annoyed at one of her models, but she somehow always found a few minutes to talk to you.
"Ugh, do none of you know anything about posture? There are children with better posture!" She said before she saw you. "Everyone take a break. And don't fucking get anything on those dresses!"
She walked up to you and grabbed one of your hands. Dragging you out of the doorway. "Y/N, doll, you got here at the perfect time. These models are driving me crazy!" She gave you a hug, and you both sat down on the new couch she brought
"Would you ever want to be a model? You're gorgeous and way smarter than at least half of these girls." Her compliment made your face as pink as her hair. You knew she didn't say things like that often.
"I never really thought about it. Do you really think I could do a good job?" Velvette smiled at you. "Y/N, I know you can." You heard your phone vibrate.
"Val must be sick. He's actually letting me leave on time. "
"Okay, I'll be right there."
Velvette wrote something down and handed it to you. "Here, think about it and call me when you can." You smiled and took the paper. "Thanks, Velvette. I'll talk to you later. "
You took the elevator to Val's studio and found Angel Dust. "Alright, let's go back to the hotel before your shitlord boss changes his mind again." Angel already had his stuff with him, and you guys took the elevator and quickly made it to the car.
"So, did you get to see your girlfriend today?" Angel said jokingly. "She's not my girlfriend. We just...talk sometimes." Angel gave you the, "Come on, you and I both know what you think about her." Look, and you started driving to the hotel. "I just want you to be careful. Don't let your guard down around any of the Vees."
There wasn't much traffic for once, and you got to the hotel pretty fast. "Huskers!" Angel yelled, running for his grouchy boyfriend. "Hey baby, me and Nuggets missed you." Said pig ran from behind the bar to meet his dads.
You sat on the couch in the lobby for a little while, barely paying attention to some movie and adding Velvette to your contacts.
Y/N : Hey Velvette, it's Y/N. Text me when you get a chance.
A few minutes later, you decided to go to bed. Your room was a decent distance from anyone else, so nobody would hear you taking a shower.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next morning, you woke up to a text from Velvette.
Velvette: Hey doll. I know Angel has to work today (Valentino won't shut up), so I was wondering if you wanted to take some photos today? Some of these models are driving me crazy! - ♡
You had thought about it, and at the very least, you'd be able to keep an eye on Valentino since he never stopped bugging Velvette. And, modeling could be fun.
Y/N: Yes, I would love to. I'll be there when I drop Angel off.
Velvette: Can't wait!
After breakfast and getting ready, Angel kissed Husker goodbye, and you headed to VVV tower.
"Do you want me to go in there with you? I hate having to leave you with that rotten jiz rag." Angel Dust pulled into a hug with all four arms. "I'll be okay, sis. I'm used to him. You said you'd see each other later, and he told you to be safe.
He made it to his dressing room and sighed after closing the door. You weren't Molly, and you could never replace her. But Angel didn't know what he would do without you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part two will be out soon!
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More than Friends [Park sunghoon x Female Reader]
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Word Count: 5,482.
Warnings: None
Themes: Fluff, Childhood best friends to lover
Now Playing:I Fell In Love With My Best Friend
Sunghoon has always been the quiet type. Maybe not that type where he's too shy to approach someone, rather, he's that type who is happy with the friends he found at the playground 12 years ago and not looking for anyone new. With the exception of two, all his friends have been with him since kindergarten. Though there's a visible age gap in the friend group, they somehow managed to become the most popular of high school students with their charm. Sunghoon is content with his friends and enjoys their company. The only annoying things in his life are the crazy fangirls (he never thought high school guys could have those) and mint chocolate chip ice cream.
Since he had seen the crazy fangirls drooling all over him, any interest in dating or pursuing someone vanished in an instant. Not like he had any before-but the thought had been there. Now even the thought makes him nervous. Dating someone who keeps his hair in her locker? Nah, he'd pass.
Truth be told, he's more interested in enjoying his high school life with his friends rather than spending it with some girl who would get jealous if he even looks at another girl. And he's speaking from experience. That was his first and last relationship, which only lasted for two weeks. And it hadn't ended there like he expected or wished. The girl had some crazy antics up her sleeves, which he only realized later when he found a tweet of hers about how he had used her and dumped her. Though all her tries failed, since it was known around school that Sunghoon is a sweetheart to everyone. He wouldn't do something horrible to a girl. Plus, everyone knew how much of a crazy fangirl Tessa was for Sunghoon, so nobody bothered to believe her.
Currently, he is trying to get through a series of math and physics homework their teacher assigned for them over the weekend.  He is over at his best friend Jake's house, eating ice cream and expressing his frustration through chewing the spoon. He heaves a sigh and groans," Jake, please let me copy your homework. I'll pay for the movie tickets next time, I promise." 
Jake looked up at him with a mouthful of ice cream and mumbled something. Sunghoon just rolled his eyes in annoyance. "And how many times have I told you to not talk with food in your mouth?'
Jake gulps down the ice cream and looks at his best friend with a sheepish smile." Sorry, old habits-And how many times have I told you that, no, I won't let you copy off me! You should do your own work and be independent. I'll not always be there to be your cheat sheet. And also, you never pay for the movie tickets. You always promise and forget your wallet at home. I end up paying for us."
Sunghoon sighed, knowing it was useless trying to argue with the boy. Usually, Jake lectures him and after Sunghoon pouts or teases him, he gives up. But when it comes to math and physics, he never lets him copy off and starts to teach and make him understand. Sunghoon is happy with that, since Jake can teach way better than their old Ms.Crane ever could, but he is not in the mood for learning today. Like, who wants to learn for an hour on a weekend? Unbelievable. So when Jake offered to teach him, he straight up turned down offer because even though he teaches well, he would drag the lesson just to talk more about physics. Sunghoon wouldn't like this amazing noon to go to waste with long physics lessons. So he just stuffed his mouth with ice cream and hoping he would arrive at school tomorrow in time to copy off Jay or Heeseung.
As he looked back at his book and tried to make sense of what a scientist from two centuries before said, the door creaked open and Jake's older sister, (Name), walked in.
Jake's sister was older than them by two years, if we are only counting these two. She is in her senior year at high school, only a few months away from graduation. She is undoubtedly the most popular person in their whole school, being both pretty and intelligent. The perfect student, a prefect, an athlete and every teacher's favourite (Though Jake teases her by calling her a 'Teachers' Pet'). Oh, did he mention the school heartthrob? Every freaking guy in the school, except Sunghoon and his friends, had a crush on her. Sunghoon had practically grown up with her, being Jake's best friend and all. She is almost like an older sister to all of Jake's friends. She is known as their Friend Group's Special Guest. She pops up time to time. At this point, she might as well as be considered as a part of their group.
(Name) sat down beside them and, much to Jake's dismay, attacked their huge bowl of ice cream. As she picked up a spoonful of ice cream, she asked,"Too much homework?"
Jake put his hands behind his head in frustration and nodded."Too much homework."
Sunghoon saw a perfect opportunity to annoy Jake and grinned. He whined,"Noona, Jake isn't letting me copy off him."
(Name) chuckled while Jake rolled his eyes and shot him an annoyed look. She playfully shook her head and said,"Jake, why aren't you letting Sunghoon copy off you? It's not like he always does this. One time won't hurt."
Jake scowled."Noona, you don't know, this guy copies off me whenever he comes over, and by that I mean every weekend. He doesn't want to "waste" his precious weekend solving math. And it's not like I never let him copy off me. I just don't let him copy math and physics. And I offered to teach him, but he said that I take too much time to teach someone, and he would rather do anything else than spend his weekend noon listening to me ramble about math and physics." Jake shot Sunghoon a scornful look.
(Name) burst out laughing and threw her head back. She looked at Sunghoon and raise an eyebrow. She teased him with an amused tone,"Is that so, Sunghoon?'
Sunghoon blushed slightly and nodded. He sassily replied,"Well, who wants tpo waster their weekend listening to an hour long math and physics lecture?"
(Name) chuckled and nodded."Hmmm, you do have a point there, Sunghoon. But I have an idea. How about  instead of Jake lecturing you for an hour, I help you with your homework?'
Sunghoon clapped in excitement and nodded, while Jake protested,"Wait, why him? Your my sister, you're supposed to help me with my homework, not his."
(Name) rolled her eyes and said,"Because I know you already can do your homework, you nerd. Plus, I came here to tell you that Mum told you to get groceries."
Jake's mouth widened."Why me? It's your turn!"
(Name) smirked."Oh, I told her that I have an assignment due and I'll do with you guys, so Mum told me to tell you to get groceries, since you're not busy. And I'm pretty sure I can keep Sunghoon company. Right, Sunghoon?"
She tilted her head and winked at him while Jake was sulking, and a smirk formed on Sunghoon's face. This was their secret gesture, which meant it's time to tease and taunt Jake. It wasn't officially said between them; but whenever they teased Jake, she would tilt her head and wink at him. Sunghoon would also reply with a smirk of his own.
Sunghoon kept the smrik and said,"Oh, it's totally okay. I'm sure I'll survive an hour or so without you. Plus, you could also take a small walk outside in the beautiful sunlight."
Jake groaned in frustration and stood up. He glared at them and whined,"It's not fair!'
The two burst out laughing. As Jake gave them an annoyed look and was leaving the room, (Name) called out,"At least you won't have to worry about homework for a while!"
A curse word was heard as the boy slammed the door and left the room. They both burst into laughter again. (Name) clutched her stomach and almost fell over with her chair. Sunghoon threw his head back and banged on the table with his hand. They had, again, succeeded in teasing Jake and making him curse. Making him curse was always a big accomplishment, since the boy was mostly against cursing.
They somehow pulled themselves together and caught their breathes. (Name) looked up at Sunghoon with a smile and asked,"Another success?'
Sunghoon smiled back at her and nodded."Another success."
She sat up straight and looked at empty bowl of ice cream. A groan escaped her lips."That bastard ate the ice cream while we were busy annoying him. Guess he got his revenge some way." With that, she looked at him and gave a pouty look. She said,"Sunghoon, would you please get more ice cream from the fridge, please?'
Sungoon smiled and shook his head."Nope. Not happening. Jake also made me get the ice cream."
(Name) gave him one of her best puppy eyes and whined,"Please, Sunghoon. Won't you do a small favour for your dear noona?"
Sunghoon laughed at her antics and protested some more. But he gave up after a few minutes and went downstairs to get some more ice cream. As he came back, she pulled the bowl out of his hands and grabbed a spoonful of ice cream. Sunghoon sat back down next to her, she offered him his ice cream and he gladly accepted it.
(Name) sat up straight in her chair and said,"So you were having problems with your math and physics homework, right?'
Sunghoon nodded, and she flashed him a smile."How about I help you with your homework? I promise I won't lecture you for an hour like Jake. How does that sound?'
He smiled and replied,"Offer accepted."
(Name) smiled and he showed her the homework. As she started explaining to him, he couldn't help a smile growing on his face. She had always been like this, helping him with his homework. She explained way better than anyone he knew. Sometimes he wondered how a person could be this perfect. She was perfect from everyway; starting from looks to intelligence to personality. He always felt comfortable around her. She always put people at ease. Though she wasn't really an extrovert, she just had a natural way of talking to people. She never made anyone feel uncomfortable in her presence, and everyone loved her. She would always help the friend group out with homeworks and assignments; and as a Junior year student, Sunghoon really appreciated that.
As the sunlight fell on her face while she explained to him, he couldn't help noticing her beauty. She had a unique beauty. Her features might not have been the uncommon, but somehow her beauty seemed ethereal. Currently, it seemed as if the sunlight was showering her with affection; and it just enhanced her beauty even more. Sunghoon's heart fluttered, and his heartbeat fastened. His mind went into a frenzy as he recognized this feeling. The feeling of falling in love might sound like an exaggeration, but he knew it as what it was. The same feeling he felt in middle school towards that one girl who rejected him on the school rooftop.
Sunghoon wondered about their friendship. He had known her since the day four year old him fell down on the playground, and a four year old Jake and a six year old (Name) came rushing to help him up. From then, they'd been inseperable. It didn't matter that she was older than both of them, his bond with them was stronger than he had with any of his other friends. She was the reason he never got more than a week's detention for skipping class. She always covered for all of them. Even after becoming a prefect, she never reported them for skipping classes. Favoritism? Maybe. But she was all about supporting harmless fun. That's one of the many reasons everyone at school loved her.
She and Jake were the ones who took care of his grandma while she was sick. She was the reason he passed his middle school finals while he was seriously sick and in bed. She and all his friends stayed up all night, watching over him in turns. She was the eldest and in high school, so she helped them study for the finals at daytime. She was the one who ran out at 2 A.M, all alone, to get emergency medicines for him while his condition got worse. She had always been there for him, along with all his friends. They were his life. He didn't know what he'd do without them. They are a part of him.
(Name) tapped his shoulder, and Sunghoon snapped out of his trance. She had been calling him for some time now. He scratched the back of his head and flashed her an embarrassed smile, gesturing for her to continue.
As time went on with her helping him with his homework, he found himself getting butterflies time to time. He tried to fight the feeling, but he just couldn't. Eventually, they finished the homework and as they kickbacked on Jake's bed to watch a movie, Jake came back and joined them. Sunghoon felt bad, thinking what Jake would say if he found out his best friend had started developing a crush on his sister. Not something positive, Sunghoon thought. But as the afternoon and evening went on with them watching the movie, he just couldn't help feeling guilty as his feelings didn't seem to go away at all. Rather, they seemed to grow. When he left their house, he turned to them and gave those two a hug, like he had always done before. But hugging (Name) made him flustered, which never happened before. Thankfully, neither Jake nor (Name) noticed his behavior, or he would be even more embarrassed.
The next two weeks at school, he tried to avoid (Name) as much as possible. But that proved to be hard, as she was almost always hanging out with them at lunch and recess. He even stopped going over at Jake's for the weekend, giving the excuse that he had chores to do at home. Jake was visibly bummed out, but it didn't seem like he suspected that Sunghoon was lying. But all his efforts went in vain, as he couldn't avoid her much. He would have to see her everyday at lunch. He couldn't stop hanging out with his friends, or they would've suspected that something was up. Still, he tried to talk to (Name) as ew times as possible. But he just couldn't help noticing everything about her. How she smiled, how she threw her head back while laughing, how her lips automatically formed a small pout when she was surprised, how her lips parted when she was zoning out. Every small thing. His feelings for her only continued to grow.
And his behavior didn't go unnoticed by his friends too, even though he tried his best to act normal around them. They had known him enough to know that something was up. Every sing le one of them asked what was wrong. Jake and Jay looked really worried for him. Ni-Ki Heeseung even cornered him one day at class.
Heeseung walked up to his desk and leaned against it. He crossed his arms as he looked at the younger. He asked,"What's wrong, Sunghoon? You've been acting really weird these days. Everyone's worried about you. Jake even told me that you didn't go over at his last two weekends, which is really unusual for you."
Sunghoon felt guilty. Of course everyone would be worried for him. But that thought had flown over his head. As he realized that he was making everyone worried for him, he felt really mad at himself. He had been a dumbass by not realizing it before.
He didn't want to worry them even further, so he assured Heeseung that he was okay. But the boy didn't look convinced. He kept shaking his head and asking what was wrong. At last, Sunghoon gave up. He sighed. "I'll tell you, okay? But please don't tell the others. At least, not for now."
Heeseung leaned in closer as Sunghoon started explaining. He looked away and said,"I...How do I say this....Okay...The thing is, I have a crush on (Name)."
Heeseung's eyes widened. (Name) was their childhood friend. She had been a part of their friend group since always. Even though she couldn't always be with them, since she was two grades above them, it didn't matter. She always hung out with them at weekends. And when they finally came to high school, their friend group was complete again. But he never imagined Sunghoon having a crush on (Name). He was under the impression that they were like siblings, but it seems like his thought was wrong.
Sunghoon didn't give him a chance to speak and continued to speak."And I've been trying to avoid her, that's why I don't talk as much as I did before when we are with her; which is almost always. I didn't go over at theirs just to avoid her. I don't want to let my feelings for her grow. She probably sees me as a younger brother, and how could I have a crush on her? I just can't face her."
Heeseung sighed. He stayed quiet for a while, before he started speaking."Sunghoon, you do realize that's not gonna work, right? You'll have to tell her sooner or later."
Sunghoon nodded grimly, and Heeseung said,"You need to tell her. Bottling up your emotions isn't gonna work. Even if she sees you as a brother, she won't be mad. I know her. She's not the type to be mad over something like that."
Sunghoon sighed and said,"But I'm scared. Just because she won't be mad, what is the chance she won't be upset? And even if she wants to be my friend even after that, who's to say our relationship will stay the same after that? It might just break apart."
Heeseung nodded. He agreed,"Yes, that might happen. There's no guarantee for that. But you won't know if you don't confess. And who knows, she migt even agree to go on a date with you.
Sunghoon mumbled,"Might."
Heeseung nodded."Might. Yes. But that's better than nothing."
Sunghoon sighed and looked at the older."Sorry, Hyung, I just can't. I hope you don't mind."
Heeseung sighed and nodded."I don't mind. But don't avoid her or us anymore, okay?'
Sunghoon smiled and nodded."Okay,"he said.
Heeseung smiled and patted the boy on the head before going back to his own seat.
Sunghoon gave his words a thought that night and decided not to confess. But he wouldn't avoid her anymore. So he went to Jake's house the next weekend, as he couldn't use the same excuse over and over. As he sat down with him, discussing what they could do (Thankfully there wasn't any homework that day), (Name) entered the room.
Sunghoon tried to keep his expression normal as she chose to sit down right next to him on the bed. She was looking even more beautiful in her eyes, if that was even possible. He thought of saying something to look normal, but (Name) broke the silence first.
"Jake, you left all the dishes at the sink. Mum's not very pleased."
Jake jumped."Oh my gosh, I totally forgot to do the dishes! Is she angry?"
(Name) shook her head and replied,"Not angry, but not very happy either. I suggest you go down and do the dishes right now before her mood gets worse."
Jake nodded and ran out of the room. She chuckled at his reaction and looked at Sunghoon.
Sunghoon was watching this exchange between the two siblings in complete silence with a smile on his face. As he noticed (Name) looking at him, he flashed her a grin. He asked,"Movie night again today? I'll stay over the night."
(Name) nodded, but their was something off with her expression. Sunghoon felt a bit worried when he saw her. But she started talking before he could speak."Yup. Movie night. Horror movie night. I was also planning on taking you both to McDonalds."
Sunghoon grinned, but his grin faded as he saw her expression. He furrowed his brows and asked in a worried tone,"Are you okay?"
(Name) nodded, and he couldn't help feeling even more worried. This type of unenthusisastic reply wasn't usual for her. He asked again,"You sure? You don't seem like your usual self today."
She sighed and rolled over on her stomach. She put her wrists on the bed and propelled her face up with her hands. She looked up at him with a slightly pouty expression and asked him something that completely caught him off guard.
"Are you mad at me, Sunghoon?'
Sunghoon's eyes widened, and he quickly put his hands up in protest."No! Not at all! Why would I be mad at you?"
(Name) sighed again, and the pout on her face just got bigger. She said,"Then why have you been ignoring me for the past two weeks? You don't talk to me like you used to do. It's almost as if you don't want to see me anymore. Did I do something wrong?"
Sunghoon wanted slap himself. He had completely forgotten about how she would feel when he was trying his best to avoid her and not catch more feelings. And she was thinking that she did something wrong and he was mad at her. He felt so angry at himself and felt guilty for making her feel that way. He sighed."Noona, I'm not mad at you. I'm just feeling a little off these days. You know, school and stuff."
(Name) pouted even more."But you talk to everyone else like usual. You didn't even come over the past two weekends. Sunghoon, can you tell me what's wrong?"
He sighed and said,"Noona, I'm sorry, but it's complicated. I'm not mad at you or ignoring you. I'm just in a kind of complicated situation, that's it.'
(Name) looked at him with her brows furrowed."Tell me what's bothering you then. I want to hear about this complicated situation of yours. I might be able to help."
Sunghoon shook his head. He was sure she would be mad at him after hearing what his complicated situation was. It might even not only ruin their friendship, but also his and Jake's. And she probably thinks of him as a younger brother. How could he confess to her?
She saw him shake his head, and her frown deepened. She asked,"Sunghoon, since when do we keep secrets from each other? I thought we were friends. I thought we always shared everything. I know all your secrets, and you know all of mine. You even told me when you tried smoking for the first time and regretted it. Do you not trust me anymore?"
That sad look on her face broke Sunghoon. This was it. He couldn't hide it from her anymore. It might be the end of everything, but he had to tell her. He thought of Heeseung's words, and decided to shoot his shot. It's now or never. He sighed and said,"Okay, Noona, I'll tell you.' It felt weird to call her Noona, which was a first. Even though he was feeling nervous and his mind was screaming at him to not tell her or lie, he continued."You'll probably get mad at me, and I'll understand if you do. But just please listen to me."
(Name) listened to him carefully as a small smile grew on her face, replacing the pout. Sunghoon took a deep breath and said,"N-Noona, I-I like you. Not in a platonic or siblings way, I like you more than that. I want us to be more than just friends. I tried to fight the feeling, but it just wouldn't go away. So I avoided you. I avoided you in every way I can; so that my feelings won't grow. But it didn't help. My feelings continued to grow. You were just too perfect. I'm sorry, and I know this might even ruin my friendship with you and Jake, but I just can't help it. I'm sorry."
Sunghoon was surprised at how organized his words were, since he always had problems expressing his feelings through words. (Name) must've noticed this too, since she looked a bit suprised. He closed his eyes shut and prepared himself for the blow that was about to come.
But that never came. As he opened his eyes, he found her looking up at him with a wide smile. That helped him calm down. It always did. She suddenly laughed softly, and he felt a pink blush creeping up his cheeks. She playfully shook her head and said,"That was it? I was expecting you found out about my obsezsion with knives and got scared."
Sunghoon's eyes widened. He exclaimed,"Obsession with knives?!"
(Name) smiled, embarrassed."My only secret that I never told you, considering you weren't a big fan of knife handling."
Sunghoon shook his head in disbelief, and she chuckled. Her face was a bit red now, and it made her look really cute. He hadn't seen her blush too many times, but it aways made him smile.
(Name) started fidgeting with her fingers in a nervous manner and said with a smile,"And aboutr what you just said...I'm not mad at you. Not at all. It's not gonna ruin our friendship. I feel like it's kind of adorable how you have a crush on me. And...I might also feel the same."
Sunghoon's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. He could feel his cheeks burning. He tried to say something, but it came out in stutters."Y-you a-also like m-me?"
(Name) nodded with a small blush. She laughed softly."I thought you saw me as an older sister, so I also didn't say anything. I was kinda internally beating myself up for feeling this way towards you."
Sunghoon also laughed."Really? I was also bashing myself internally."
She nodded with a smile."Mmmhm. Really."
Sunghoon couldn't help the smile on his face growing as he tried to speak, but she spoke before him. She flashed him a smile and said,"Ice cream date tomorrow evening?"
Sunghoon gave her a boyish grin and nodded."Ice cream date tomorrow evening."
(Name) smiled and leaned in close to him. As she saw his eyes widen and his face getting redder, but no signs of protest, she finally kissed him on the lips. Sunghoon kissed back, feeling really embarrassed and happy at the same time. She liked him back and they were going out!
As he wrapped his arms around her and she pulled him closer, the door burst open and a happy Jake entered."Guys, I've finished the dishes! Let's-"
He froze in his tracks as he saw the two of them."What the actual f-"
They had also frozen, but as soon as (Name) recovered from the initial shock, she threw a pillow at his way, not letting him finished his sentence. Sunghoon felt his cheeks grow even hotter, to the point they were burning. Jake yelled,"Ahh why would you throw the pillow at me?! And what are you guys doin-"
Another pillow hit his face, this time thrown by Sunghoon.
Sunghoon dived his face in (Name)'s neck in embarrassment from being caught by his best friend while kissing his older sister. She pulled him closer and yelled at her brother,"Can't you knock?"
Jake yelled back,"Why would I? Since when did we knocked while one of us wasn't alone in the room? And stop throwing these damn pillows at my face!"
They both burst out laughing and (Name) playfully rolled her eyes."I guess you have a point."
Jake pointed at Sunghoon and asked,"And what on earth are you guys doing?"
Sunghoon hid his face even more in her neck in embarrassment while she stroked his hair. She glared at her brother and said,"Don't you have eyes? And you're embarrassing Sunghoon. Look how red his face is."
Sunghoon whined in protest. Jake rolled his eyes and sat down next to them. He shook his head in disbelief."Since when this has been going on? How come I didn't know my best friend was in love with my sister?"
(Name) curled her lips and replied,"Since today, And it will go on."
Jake pulled Sunghoon from his hididng place and shook him with every word he said."Why. Didn't. You. Tell. Me. You. Bastard."
Sunghoon felt a little dizzy from all the shaking and pushed the boy away. He scratched his neck in embarrassment and said,"I thought you'd be mad...so...'
Jake shook his head in exasperation. He said," Mad? Oh boy, I'm mad at you. But not for falling for and kissing my sister. For not telling me you bastard! I am your best friend and you didn't tell me that you have a crush on my sister!"
They both burst out laughing as Jake stared at them in disbelief. He was still pretending to be mad, but as the corners of his mouth twitched, they saw a small smile was slowly forming on his face. He still said in a angry tone,"You'll pay for the movie tickets the whole year, Sunghoon. That's what you get for not telling me."
Sunghoon smiled and nodded. This was a way better price than he thought he would have to pay. He could deal with that. Plus, he was sure Jake would go back to paying after a month or two. So no worries.
Suddenly, another thought crossed Jake's mind. He grabbed a pillow and started hitting them with with it. He yelled,"And this is for throwing pillows at me!"
Sunghoon laughed as (Name) also grabbed a pillow and attacked her brother. As their fight went on, he also grabbed a pillow and joined them. All of them ended up with torn pillows after the fight, with cotton flying all over the room. Jake and (Name) looked at each other with wide eyes, and all three of them burst out laughing. As (Name) blew away a few cottons from Sunghoon's hair, he felt as if he had never been more happy and content. He knew from that moment, with his friends and possibly future girlfriend, he wouldn't have to worry about anything ever again.
And when they started dating from the next day, nobody was happier than Jake and Heeseung. Heeseung boosted around in the friend group that he already knew about Sunghoon's crush on (Name). Knowing that, Jake only got more pissed and demanded two whole years of movie ticket payment. Now Sunghoon knew that he would have to pay the for tickets at least for the next six months. He was seriously worried for himself now. It is the only problem he's currently dealing with now. And since Jake doesn't have to pay, he insists on taking Sunghoon and (Name) to watch a movie every weekend. Sunghoon had hoped that (Name) would tell her brother off, but she seemed to be enjoying the free movies every weekend. At least she insisted on paying for every date they went on, or he would've gone bankrupt by now. He can only hope now that he would still have enough money to buy his friends and girlfriend birthday and Christmas presents.
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crzyimp · 22 hours
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AITA for not wanting to divorce my wife when my in-laws are racist and fat phobic about it?
I’m(M) recently married to my(F) wife. For some context, I’ve known this family for roughly 3 years and worked for them; I never complained about the hard labor or long hours, hell I did the work of 3 men or more without breaking a sweat! I’m very self conscious about my looks and weight, so I glamorize myself and sometimes use a wrap to make myself thin. It hurts sometimes, but it’s better than being stared at or comments thrown at me. Now my in-laws, let's call them Mr. and Mrs. G, are big on tradition about passing the family business to a son, but they only have daughters and the oldest two are already married, and they can’t find a guy who will give up his surname for theirs (I can’t blame them, I haven’t met a guy who’s willing to do that). Anyways during those three years I’ve gotten to know Mr. and Mrs. G’s youngest daughter and currently my wife, Cui.
Sweetest, nicest girl I ever met and we hit it off without a hitch, she’s everything I wished for in a wife. She knows the ins and out of how to run her family business, but Mr. G refuses to just let her take over unless she’s married to a man who can take their surname…well after she told me that I said I can be her husband since I’m technically an orphan and I don’t have any attachments to the surname given to me. Originally it was going to be more of a business relationship or front until she can find someone she can love, especially how I actually look, and I told her that. Cui thought that was sweet of me. So we talked to her parents together and they gave their blessing once they learned I’m an orphan.
Wedding planning, preparations, and the actual wedding was nice but very stressful; I didn’t have much time to myself and decompress as my in-laws wanted my attention 24/7. I can feel my glamor smearing off and the wraps digging into my skin to the point it’s cutting into my skin. Though during the wedding I can’t just walk away for a moment to be alone and I don’t want to disappoint Cui, so I bear through the ceremony and during the reception I drink to get my mind off the pain and my insecurities. Now I may be an asshole here since I drank way too much and I haven’t had a drink in 3ish years, so I get more drunk than I wanted and got way too relaxed…where I took off the wraps under my clothes and my glam is off.
All hell broke loose, as if a hungry ghost or one of the kings was there! People were screaming about a fatass pig demon crashing the party and I was ready to throw this asshole out until Cui, my sweet wife, told me that they were talking about me. Still drunk and now shocked, I bawled my eyes out and ran out of the room, accidentally knocking stuff and people over on the way out. Cui followed after me to make sure I’m okay.
Ever since that, her parents bully and pick on me about my appearance and my weight, telling me I’m a fatso that doesn’t have the right to be part of their family, saying I stink up the place (I’m still working hard to support the business and during the hot summers I can’t help but sweat), to how much I eat (again it’s hard work and I do eat to cope from the abuse), to how they never see Cui anymore (she locked up in our house and I have the key so her parents can’t have surprise visits and abuse me more), to how I should go back to where I came from (and other racist remarks, but I don’t want to be flagged by the mods). They even hired thugs to get me to divorce Cui! Thugs who try to chase me out of my own home and wife! Thankfully I had years of experience in combat, and so far none bested me. Though their words are starting to get to me and that’s why I’m here asking you guys. Am I the asshole?
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winterflowersftw · 3 days
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ITOSHI RIN X READER
COULD YOU EVER FORGIVE ME?
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Synopsis:
Childhood best friends to lovers to strangers. Itoshi Rin is fixated on soccer. Itoshi Sae ruins things.
You had known Rin since you were 9 and he was 8. You were in his older brother, Itoshi Sae's class in elementary and middle school. Sae was a very nonchalant guy, barely said anything. But boy, did he have a talent for football. He won all the districts and state competitions. He not too good at studies to be honest. He was ....above-average at best.
You were in the school's baseball team. To be frank, you HAD to choose a sport so you chose baseball because it seemed the least demanding. You were an extra and you had no motivation to be in the playing nine. The football field was just adjacent to the baseball field and one day while watching Itoshi Sae play during a match, you said:
"He's so weird, not passing the ball at all. A selfish guy most probably."
Sae heard this and took a note to give you a piece of his mind later. Rin was standing nearby, star-studded by his brother's talent. He used to watch his every mgame and even told him about you once his match was over. Sae, being the football genius he was, scored 6 goals.
Itoshi Sae made it his motive to make your life in school hell. He didn't do much, but it was enough to ruin your day. Sometimes he'd come over to your desk and call you names, sometimes he'd bitch about you to your classmates even telling the other girls to keep their distance from you. Even with all that, you had two friends and they were your ride or die.
This petty rivalry went on for years. You became somewhat frienemies. But there were times when Sae would cross the line and you would leave crying. And when Sae was not looking, Rin would quietly come up to you to apologise for his brother's immature behaviour. You were more comfortable with Rin than you had ever been with Sae to be honest.
And slowly with time, Rin started coming to you even when there hadn't been a fight. He liked spending time with you. He did not have any friends except his brother so he made sure to visit you whenever he was not hanging out with him.
And then Rin got the most devastating news of all: Itoshi Sae was leaving for Spain for his football dream at age 13. Rin himself never considered playing football, but he did love watching Sae play. When Sae told him he had a talent for soccer and asked him to play, Rin agreed. The brothers dreamt to become the best strikers in the world.
With his brother gone, he clinged to football as if it was him. And soon, football did become his everything. And so did you.
You and Rin became much closer when Itoshi Sae left for Spain. Now that there were no petty fights, you did not had to meet Rin whenever you had time. But you did. That boy was so lonely you thought. But soon you started meeting him because you genuinely liked being with him. If Rin was not playing football, he was talking to you. It wasnt until he was 14 he realised he had feelings for you.
It took him 6 more months to come to terms with his feelings and to confess. When you heard his confession, you did not know what to say and just stood there; bewildered. But soon you realised you had fallen for him too. And almost immediately, you both went from best friends to lovers. Your mother was a calm woman and did not disapprove of Rin. She believed he was a good influence. Your relationship had been going well and it had been 6 months when you heard Itoshi Sae was coming home. Rin was overjoyed and texted Sae,
" I'm so excited omg omg. Before you come to visit mom and dad, please come to (y/n 's address). We'll have a party! "
To which Sae replied,
"Ok"
When Sae came to y/n's room only to find Rin sitting on her bed, he realised they both were dating when he saw their pictures on the bedside frame. To say he was pissed was an understatement.
His trip to Spain made him realise how average he was. If anything, he was of middling talent. And he wanted to be the best or nothing. He had come back a changed man. A pessimistic guy.
Then seeing you carrying a big cake which had "welcome back Sae!" written on it was his last straw. He threw the cake and shouted;
"Rin!! How do you expect yourself to become a world class striker when you're trapped here playing house? I did not know you threw away your dream of soccer." When he said it, he sounded angry; but by the end he just sounded disappointed which was much more saddening.
You were sad and crying. You tried your best to hide it, but you couldn't. So you ran out of that room. Then Sae told Rin;
"I'm going to be the best mid-fielder, not striker. My dream changed."
To Rin this was absolute betrayal.
"What about our dream then? That you'd be the best striker and I'd be after you?"
"My dream changed and you are here having fun playing house so I assume you'd never even make it to the top 10. "
Itoshi Sae had gotten a reality check in Spain. He knows what a player like him had to give away to be the best. He just wanted the same for his brother, to be the best. But Rin's attitude towards soccer made him feel like a fool for worrying about him. For him, it was probably just a hobby he thought.
The brothers went to the nearby football practice ground where Sae made his bet.
If Rin won, he'd go back to trying to be the best striker.
The one-on-one didn't last a minute.
Sae won effortlessly.
That was the last day you saw Rin. He never called, never reached out.
The next time you saw him was when you were in the Blue Lock stadium seeing the U-20 VS Blue Lock Eleven match.
When it ended, you were so happy for Rin. He finally defeated his brother's team. And yet, the expression on his face had never been more dull.
While leaving, you ran into Itoshi Sae.
"Hey y/n"
"Hey"
"I wanted to say that....."
And Sae saw the look on your face. It was not forgiving, not in the slightest. It was pure hate and rage.
Seeing that, he swallowed his words
"Never mind, bye."
And he left.
Seeing the match made you remember every memory you shared with Rin all over again. How easily had he thrown away 8 years of friendship? As if it was nothing. As if YOU were nothing.
And yet, you couldn't hate him.
You never forgave him either.
After the big match, the blue lock boys were given 2 weeks off. As Rin was going to his home, he realised the place which actually felt like home to him was you. He had so much to apologise for.
He came to your house and rang the bell. When you opened the door he said,
"I made the biggest mistake of my life. Could you ever forgive me?"
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derpinette · 24 days
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SPERG YOUR HEART OUT
#EVERYONE#NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#& FOREVER#i love it when my friends &/or mutuals post about their interest & Passions i will like your posts but really i Loved them.#i deleted some tags because they might be interpreted as weird(er than usual) but 0_0 i am ♯Passionate about ♯Passion (for fashion - Bratz)#still kind of feel like a worthless human being but i secured another hangout in like a week so yayyy ^_^#I GET TO BOTHER SOMEONE TOO NOW i just wish people did that to me too why am i like always the one raving#literally have to beg my friend to give me updates on her things even if i normally hate it even i go out of my way to look for things#for us to discuss -_- GIRL please i am for real not just faking for politeness who do you think i am I WANT TO KNOW#so effin excited OMG i have like so much to say & the greatest thing is that this girl has no knowledge at all about my Thing#so i can explain from the very beginning You literally have no idea how much i practiced the conversation in my head#ever since she told me & she said she wanted me to go on & talk about it more i have been Devising My Plan#OMG YAYYYY ^_^_^_^_^_^ AIMU SO HEPI AAARRRGHHHHHGSJDJSHSJDHSHSG#& OFC i had to plug it in the first time i met her in person i just could not help myself there was an NF on that day & i told her i wanted#to catch it i had to go in the end for a different reason & BTW it was such a whiplash the show itself was so fun but the winner... 0_0 NO.#next i will ask her about berserk & maybe even read it so we can talk about it because she really likes it#i dropped it when i was 14 because the laptop i was using to read it was complete crap Just like mine is RN#like a section of my keyboard is completely dead T_T so i have to use the on-screen one...
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da-proti-toku-grem · 15 days
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why can't anyone understand that everyone is different and not everyone likes the same things and that it's completely okay AND normal for someone not to like going out and preferring to stay at home :/
#honestly i understand that my parents care about me and they don't want me to be feeling bad#and that they ask me bc they just want to make sure i'm okay#but i've explained to them what i feel like and they just don't get and i get mad but i akso know it's not their fault and just... oughhhhh#like yeah i have a weird kind of social anxiety according to my therapist and even she doesn't know exactly how to help me yet#but there are just so many reasons behind why i don't like going out and it's not just bc it gives me anxiety#or why those situations give me anxiety in the forst place#1. i'm just a very introverted person that doesn't like going out#2. crowded places/closed spaces/places where there's not enough ventilation/loud places (be it people talking or just music) overwhelme me#3. all said in 2 + flashing lights give me huge migraines that can linger for over 3 days#4. i am very much a night owl and i'm forced to live in a society where that isn't fucking acceptable apparently and i'm called lazy for -#- not being productive in the morning when the only reason behind it is that i am a lot more productive at night#but no one ket's me do that bc 'why are you doing stuff when you're supposed to be asleep?'#i have been the same since i was little. literally nothing has changed#and people where always like 'oh she's just shy'#but idk wtf changed#maybe it was that i became and 'adult' or maybe the fact that i started therapy and they told my parents that i have social anxiety. idk#but suddenly every single person in my family is worried about it and they're genuinely making me feel like there's smth wrong about me#i mean. i have my problems i'm not gonna go telling you that i'm perfect bc i'm pretty much not#but is there really smth that wrong with me that i need to fix#or is society just a bitch that doesn't understand that there's different kinds of people and everyone is different & IT'S COMPLETELY OKAY#have they ever thought about the fact that maybe these situations cause me anxiety bc i've been forced all my life to do them#even if i don't like them#instead of thinking that i don't like them BC they cause me anxiety??#i mean. i know i have to go out more and that there's tons of things i can do ofc#but you can't just force me to do things i don't want to and put on a good face while doing it *every.fucking.day*#aaaaand i could add a lot more things but i'm once again reaching the tag limit so i shoukd just shut up#it's just driving me crazy bc i know they're trying to help but it really is not helping at all.............#ranting
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zemnarihah · 2 months
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my best friend has been very distant w me lately and i asked today if she wanted to hang out and she said she probably couldn't bc it's her brothers birthday but she would let me know if she could and i have her location and i just looked and she's at her boyfriends house rn....
#we have it bc we're roomates so we started sharing locations when we first moved in like in case someone doesn't come home at night or smth#she recently told me that she wants to move out bc she has always wanted to live alone and she can finally afford it. and i asked her#directly like is there an issue because she is so non confrontational so she has never ever mentioned me doing anything that bothers her#and i said please tell me if there's something wrong because it would really suck if there was and i never got a chance to fix it because#you never told me. and she said no it has nothing to do with that i really just feel like it's time for me to live on my own. and a couple#days ago she was like okay i'm next in line for my apartment i'll probably move out in april. and i try to get her to hang out still and#she always has something else going on and i swear every night this week she's been at her boyfriends.#and if i see her around our apartment and try to make conversation at all she's so like short about it and barely responds like will only#give one word answers. i feel like it kind of started when i started dating e but i realized that i was spending less time with her and i#didn't want to be the girl that loses all my friends bc of a boyfriend so i started specifically reaching out to hang out with her and she#says no most of the time and never asks me. like i don't know what else i can do.#i'm like maybe it's bc of her boyfriend? bc they've been on again off again for a long time and previously when they were together it was#really distant with her like i barely saw her EVER. and they were mostly broken up for the past couple years and have been together i think#for a while again... but she knows i don't approve of that relationship and so she would like not say when they were talking again. so maybe#since lately they've been hanging out or dating or WHATEVER she doesn't fucking tell me what's going on with him. maybe that's why.#i literally like try to think of ways it could be my fault and maybe i'm being crazy but i cannot even think to blame myself for more than a#fleeting second bc i'm like. i have ASKED HER directly if there is an issue or something i do that bothers her and she says no. so even if#i'm somehow pissing her off would i ever know to change anything?? i just feel so frustrated bc it's like she's an entirely different person#to me. like this is not the person i know. and i don't know what else i could possibly do like i feel like we need to sit down and have a#conversation about it but what good does that do if she just acts like nothing is wrong. but i don't want to lose my friend i have such a#hard time making friends. i've known her since i was 14 like i can't imagine my life without her. we were the only two in our whole friend#group in high school to get out of the church i still love those other girls but we have so little in common now.
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the-halfling-prince · 5 months
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Abe please gimme Harlow lore (I’ve seen snippets and am Intrigued)
The Harlow fans are getting FED tonight. (Idk how many of those there are, but there's at least you)
So just so y'all know I've got the basics of the series all planned out, but ive only got the first book written (draft 2 is almost finished). A lot of things I say here may contradict with things ive said in the past or will contradict with things I say in the future. Anyway let's go.
The main setting of the books is The Alavenik Archipelago, a small group of islands who's culture is inspired by (but not super directly) Norse (and a little Celtic) aesthetics. Of course most of the stories take place in the main character, Harlow's, home island of Drakenvel (the southernmost island in the archipelago.) The other islands are called Njotidan, Yfgusti, Krowethia, Nihdrikah, and The UnNamed Island. The islands are home to mostly humans, deer, birds, fox, rabbits, wolves, and oh yeah dragons. There's dragons in my Nordic inspired fantasy books don't look into that too much. (I'm a huge fan of httyd and skyrim what can I say?) The culture around how the Alavenikians treat dragons is basically just they avoid them like the plague. The dragons have human intelligence but they don't speak the same language. Our main character, luckily, is autism and thinks it's weird to not try and befriend the creature of equal intelligence that live in their home. This obviously gets her into trouble.
Drakenvel Island is very small. It's got cliffs all along the western shore, and forests covering most of the island (minus where the village is). The archipelago's islands trade with eachother regularly, and the Drakenvellians have mostly livestock and crops to offer. Their land is good for farming, with the main farm being owned by the Freyrson family (Wintergrow Freyrson is the head farmer. She's not super important to the story but her oldest kid is, just wait).
Another important thing to note about Drakenvel is that epithets are important to them. Almost all of the Drakenvellians go by an epithet/nickname of some sort. It can change later in life but typically it doesn't. The exception to this is the chief and his heir, who go by their real names (aka Harlow and her dad. I didn't bother giving him a name tho ngl). Like Harlow's best friend Tiger, who's real name is Björn. Or his dad, Inkwell, who's real name is also Björn. (Also until very recently in Drakenvel history, all the families had patriarchal last names. But slowly they've been transitioning to just having last names. Some of them have previous family members' epithets as last names, such as the Stormrages and Crowthornes, and some of them kept the patriarchal last name they had when making the change, for example the Freyrsons. Inkwell and Tiger's family hadn't made that change yet, but they basically decided they were going to stick with Björnson, since the past three generations have had that name. Hence Tiger's unfortunate full name being Björn Björnson the Second)
The chief is in charge of the village, but there is a council. This council consists of: Chief Stormrage, Wintergrow Freyrson, Inkwell Björnson (who owns the library), Halvor (the children's training leader, more on that later), Spiderweb and Bloodfell Crowthorne (more on them later. Hate them, tho.), and of course, Harlow. (Cause why wouldnt you have a 12 year old on your council.)
Real quick wanna mention Harlow and Tiger's mothers, Harlow's mother (who doesn't have a name yet I'm working on it) and Bullseye Björnson where adventurers who went missing when Harlow was four and Tiger was two. Harlow was basically raised by her mother's mother, and Tiger was raised by Inkwell (who is the best dad ever btw take notes y'all I love him)
Now I mentioned earlier that the kids have training. So on that: Drakenvel is a mostly peaceful village. But after Halvor first showed up from Yfgusti (a not very peaceful village), he suggested that they start a training program for the youth to learn to fight in the odd chance that they do go to war, just like they had on Yfgusti. The chief wasn't sure, but his wife thought it was a good idea so he agreed to it. From ages 10-18 the kids train in swordfighting, archery, wilderness survival, hunting, etc. They do that a few times a week. Harlow is great at it. Tiger is not. It makes for fun dynamics idk
Okay okay enough of Harlow and Tiger (never) what of the other kids? So glad you asked! There's four other kids in training. Catface Freyrson, Darkwind and Burnchaser Fjordson, and of course, my boy, my main man, the motherfucker himself: Careless Crowthorne. Careless is constantly described as an expert archer. I really like archery so I talk about him and his archery a LOT in the books ngl. Careless and Cateface have a history similar to Harlow and Tiger, extremely loyal childhood best friends, but as circumstances changed Careless and he became a jerk, that rubbed off on Catface (and Darkwind and Burnchaser) and in the words of Catface himself, they "became less friends and more 'the bully and kids who followed because they didn't want to be a victim'". Unfortunately, even after Careless had his half-assed redemption (it gets better in later books but his initial redemption was so bad even Harlow talks about it, he really just wanted to clear his own conscious) the rest of the boys we're still assholes.
Holy shit this is getting long
oh btw Harlow's dad doesn't like Tiger. This bitch has beef with a 10 year old fuck OFF i hate him.
Wait, hold on, aren't there some more important main characters in this... Hmmm... I talk about this all the time who am I forgetting... ah yes.
Daliah. (And another I'll get to next just wait, Cloudstorm fans)
Daliah of Krowethia. A mysterious girl who just showed up on Drakenvel one day. She's secretive, but doesn't really try to be. She just never talks about herself, and everyone else assumes she doesn't want to talk about her past. Anyway, they find out later she mysteriously showed up on the docks of Krowethia as a child, not remembering anything, and being taken in by the owner of a boarding house, a woman named Meilani. More of her another day. But Daliah had an urge to see the rest of the archipelago, and taught herself how to sail, and survival skills, and she went island to island, enjoying the landscapes (and avoiding dragons, which she was deathly afraid of)
Oh yeah there's one more member of their little gang. Another outsider from another land. A little dragon, an Amber-Winged Wyvern by the name of Cloudstorm. Harlow is obsessed with Amber-Winged Wyverns. In the same way someone who will never see their favorite animal IRL would be. Seeing an artic dwelling dragon is an unattainable dream for poor Harlow (me too girlie when do I get to see a caribou just out in the wild. Except her seeing an animal native to the artic is more likely than me seeing a Caribou so damn I guess.) She's only seen illustrations. But yeah then she finds on on her island???? The fuck??? (When will a Caribou show up in the Southern USA come on man. Sorry I got distracted. Anyway.) She talks to the dragon (because of fuckin course she does) and desperately wants to befriend him. Cloudstorm wants nothing to do with this weird kid. The rest of the gang wants nothing to do with this dragon.
More dragons come into the story later, but the first book is very much about the main group becoming, well, a group.
Also the dynamics between Harlow and the other main characters are so fun to me. Harlow and Careless and both headstrong leader types, but Harlow more boisterous, and Careless is more idk menacing is the only word I can think of. Harlow and Daliah are both adventure seekers, but Daliah is a play it safe survivalist, and Harlow is way more spontaneous. Then Harlow and Tiger are almost complete opposites. With Harlow being the boisterous, headstrong, adventurous, spontaneous leader, Tiger is a shy, weak, careful pushover and follower. Yet they're somehow best friends. Harlow and Cloudstorm are basically the same which makes their dynamic so funny. He treats her like she treats her own authority figures. (Not that Harlow is Cloudstorm's authority figure that was just the comparison I had)
idk if I have anything else to add RN but I'm willing to answer any about specific things
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seagull-scribbles · 2 years
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I like to think Antoine and Bunnie have big Gomez and Morticia vibes. Permanently in the honeymoon stage, regularly telling anecdotes about when they met/dated/got married. They deserve that. 🥰
Every dance is their first dance xx
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I think a lot of their friends are just surprised by how well they work together? They don’t have a whole lot of stuff in common. But is is their differences they bond over for sure x shared trauma from the war aside, it's just like:
Pausing a movie to have a passionate debate over where they think a story is going, to share each others cultures and traditions, letting the other convince them to try activities they would never consider- it is in that appreciation and discovery of the world and the life within that they find themselves truly connecting 💕
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horrorwebs · 2 years
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fucking hell fucking hell is she gonna reject me? i want to let sth out for a second and didnt want to tell my psychologist until i have answers so. tags it is
#so. i told my friend i like her. i really really do you cant imagine how much. this was while i was away on a trip last week and we were#messaging.honestly i wanted to be brave enough to tell her in person but i tried already and i was tired of waiting for 'the perfect moment#i was tired of not doing anything ever and watching my life go by. so i drann a bit and told her. not bc i was a bit drunk thats just an#excuse. i was plenty conscious and still scared as fuck (so much that after i sent the message i took a lap around the building lol)#she said i should be scared first. then that she wasnt sure what to say. in her words 'more yes than no. but i dont know what to say'#understandable. she prob wasnt expecting it and its not amazing to have a conversation like that through text (despite the fact that our#relationship has always relied heavily on texting cause weve always stayed up talking. like from day 1)#anyway. she said that before we met she had a crush on me (i already knew this) and that she sometimes felt this way too wbut was scared i#didnt feel that way as well and didnt wanna risk anything so didnt do anything (granted. but she DID say plenty of ambiguous things +#told me i could sleep w her then um. slept on top of me. hugging. you know)#my friend said this was a good sign i was nervous and told her that i thought it was weird and she said her response was p good#and later she uploaded on her cf story a video that said a ring she shares w me is her 'married ring' so i think thats good??#but also. we havent talked yet (hard to do in 15 min at school) and i have a bad fweling#i feel shes going to say sth like she likes me but doesnt want to risk what we have esp considering her other friends sometimes treat her#badly/exclude her and that shes worried if we fight we are going to lose our friendship + shes going to lose my friends as well#which is well. stupid of course. because i always want her in my life. i think she knows this. i want her to know this.#ever since we met i want her in my life and i cant stop thinking about her and how i miss her and her eyes and how she hugs me and GOD#THE OTHER DAY WHEN WE SAW EACH OTHER AFTER I WENT ON A WEEK LONG TRIP SHE FUCKIN. LIFTED ME OFF THE GROUND AND. CARRIED ME AROUND#HONESTLY IT WAS A BIT EMBARASSING THERE WERE LOTS OF PPL SRIUND AND IM A VERY PRIVATE PERSON BUT I WAS SO HAPPY !!!!#and idk i just dont want her to reject me. shes the first person i really like and i see myself together with. we have so much in common an#we understand each other and we are GOOD for each other. shes so good for my life and i want to believe i am as awell and god how i#want to kiss her and call her my girlfriend and just. agh#its exhausting liking someone huh#loveposting#spikeposting#if anyone has read this far omg hi thank you what do you think?
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thedevilsrain · 1 year
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