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#relationship has always relied heavily on texting cause weve always stayed up talking. like from day 1)
horrorwebs
·
2 years
Text
fucking hell fucking hell is she gonna reject me? i want to let sth out for a second and didnt want to tell my psychologist until i have answers so. tags it is
#so. i told my friend i like her. i really really do you cant imagine how much. this was while i was away on a trip last week and we were
#messaging.honestly i wanted to be brave enough to tell her in person but i tried already and i was tired of waiting for 'the perfect moment
#i was tired of not doing anything ever and watching my life go by. so i drann a bit and told her. not bc i was a bit drunk thats just an
#excuse. i was plenty conscious and still scared as fuck (so much that after i sent the message i took a lap around the building lol)
#she said i should be scared first. then that she wasnt sure what to say. in her words 'more yes than no. but i dont know what to say'
#understandable. she prob wasnt expecting it and its not amazing to have a conversation like that through text (despite the fact that our
#relationship has always relied heavily on texting cause weve always stayed up talking. like from day 1)
#anyway. she said that before we met she had a crush on me (i already knew this) and that she sometimes felt this way too wbut was scared i
#didnt feel that way as well and didnt wanna risk anything so didnt do anything (granted. but she DID say plenty of ambiguous things +
#told me i could sleep w her then um. slept on top of me. hugging. you know)
#my friend said this was a good sign i was nervous and told her that i thought it was weird and she said her response was p good
#and later she uploaded on her cf story a video that said a ring she shares w me is her 'married ring' so i think thats good??
#but also. we havent talked yet (hard to do in 15 min at school) and i have a bad fweling
#i feel shes going to say sth like she likes me but doesnt want to risk what we have esp considering her other friends sometimes treat her
#badly/exclude her and that shes worried if we fight we are going to lose our friendship + shes going to lose my friends as well
#which is well. stupid of course. because i always want her in my life. i think she knows this. i want her to know this.
#ever since we met i want her in my life and i cant stop thinking about her and how i miss her and her eyes and how she hugs me and GOD
#THE OTHER DAY WHEN WE SAW EACH OTHER AFTER I WENT ON A WEEK LONG TRIP SHE FUCKIN. LIFTED ME OFF THE GROUND AND. CARRIED ME AROUND
#HONESTLY IT WAS A BIT EMBARASSING THERE WERE LOTS OF PPL SRIUND AND IM A VERY PRIVATE PERSON BUT I WAS SO HAPPY !!!!
#and idk i just dont want her to reject me. shes the first person i really like and i see myself together with. we have so much in common an
#we understand each other and we are GOOD for each other. shes so good for my life and i want to believe i am as awell and god how i
#want to kiss her and call her my girlfriend and just. agh
#its exhausting liking someone huh
#loveposting
#spikeposting
#if anyone has read this far omg hi thank you what do you think?
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