#even if he might be a little bit of an asshole on twitter sometimes
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a bit of a more serious post than usual so if you don't really wanna see that, i won't be upset at all if you keep scrolling.. the only reason why this is under a cut is because i myself don't really wanna look at it every time i scroll through my blog (is that a thing people do?? or am i just very self absorbed??? LMAO)
i'm a little concerned about urban himself and the direction he's taking his series.
like.. i'm all for creative expression, and i'm all for the idea of nobody policing anyone else's creative work for what can and can't be done in a certain narrative (let alone fiction in general), but i feel like the more interaction urban has had with his fanbase and the analog horror community in general, the more it's been affecting both him and his series.
i think that i should address his twitter presence and """controversy""" first, because that's the thing that's on everyone's mind when they hear "urbanspook" at this point.
i wanna preface this by saying that i fucking hate how people have been responding to all of this. what chezzkids and pastra are doing & have done is, indeed, harassment; they aren't criticizing urban's series, they're saying it shouldn't exist. both pastra and chezzkids can be quoted saying effectively the same thing: "urban should not have a platform, and by supporting him and his art, we're encouraging other people to make things similar to it, and that's bad." if you don't see the problem with that, let me spell it out for you: these are fascist, pro-censorship views that align with those of harmful far-right ideologies which call for the suppression of content made by and in support of marginalized people. if you're willing to overlook that because "icky shock horror bad!!!!", then i think you should log off of the internet and spend some time re-evaluating your perception of the world and those around you, especially those who are different than you. this man has been the victim of a targeted harassment campaign for, at most, a full year, and mocking him for lashing out as a result of said harassment is far more ableist than the phrase "autistic furry horror" will ever be.
with that being said, i greatly dislike the way urban conducts himself on twitter. yes, i know it's supposed to be ironic; yes, i know he's "trolling" and that everything he says on there is disingenuous..
...but this is the internet.
no one is going to genuinely believe it's all a big joke, no matter how many times urban says it and no matter how true it may be. they already don't see him from a very positive perspective, even if they don't have much of a justifiable reason to do so (although their reasoning is understandable to an extent), so playing up a purposefully "edgy, immature, rage-bait" persona might drive people away who may have otherwise been interested in the series. i've seen several testimonials from people who enjoy the series and have even created fan work, but are put off by urban's behavior on twitter, and some people have even gone so far as to claim that the series in of itself is objectively bad and devoid of any value solely because of the twitter situation despite not having watched a single video in the series. yeah, the whole point of the joke may be self-parody, the punchline might be that urban is playing up the analog horror community's wildly inaccurate perception of how he is as a person, but i feel like the joke's gone on a little bit too long to still be anything but harmful to urban and his presence on the internet. he's stated that after finishing his current series, he wants to step away from analog horror altogether and work on other things, but i fear that if the twitter antics continue the way they're going, that might not end up happening; either due to a lack of willingness on his part (after all, being around so much negativity for such a long time typically affects people very adversely), or due to a lack of remaining audience.
despite my concerns, however, it must be said that i don't know what any other communities he's active in are like, and if i had to guess, i would assume that his future work under the "urbanspook" name would be more in tune with his actual interests pertaining to the horror genre as opposed to anything in the orbit of the analog horror community. i could be completely wrong about the twitter business, and urban's effectiveness at creating things completely divorced from analog horror may not be compromised in the slightest. however, as a fan of his analog horror series, i still feel that it's important to suggest this possibility: even after it's finished, The Painter will still exist, and its association with this particular time in urban's online endeavors may make some people wary of giving it a chance when they otherwise may have enjoyed it.
speaking of urban's work, i think i should elaborate more on how urban's interactions with his fanbase are affecting the series itself as opposed to him and his online presence.
to put my view of where things are going in terms of urban's handling of the series, i remember reading a magazine interview with him at some point (i think it was either right before or right after PIGS was released) where he mentions that he got the idea of there being two killers from fan theories, which!! on paper it seems like a cool thing to do!! but recently with all of these new lore additions (ex., mask guy missing his face and acting like a dog, painter being female, revealing the killers' names at all, the episodes not being in chronological order, etc.), i'm starting to notice a sort of "matpat effect" (to coin a phrase) going on, where he's writing the story in such a way that canonizes fan theories just for the sake of canonizing those fan theories.. i don't find it very difficult to believe that all the people in his instagram/youtube comments asking the same exact questions over and over may have influenced his writing decisions a bit, and even though he himself has admitted he isn't the best writer, i think that the earlier episodes are the strongest of the series (sans PIGS and FAMILY, i love those two with all my heart and soul) and that urban's writing is best when it isn't influenced by the fanbase. (if anyone wants me to elaborate on this, let me know!! i might make a post at some point about what i think is different between the first few episodes and the newer episodes if anyone wants me to; i think legitimately analyzing this series is super fun and i have a lot of things to say about it!!)
all in all, i'm just really worried about urban. in the beginning, he seemed so adamant about being individual and unique with his series and his online presence; he defied so many expectations that people had regarding analog horror and those who create it and seemed so much happier to work on this series... but now it seems like he just wants to get it all over with so he can work on things he actually wants to work on, and all anyone sees him as is a caricature of someone who never even really existed in the first place outside of a moment of completely justified rage. his heart isn't in it anymore; at least, it doesn't seem like it to me, and i really hope that eventually all of this superficial, reactionary """controversy""" bullshit blows over and that maybe urban's remaining time in the analog horror community can be made at least a little bit more pleasant.
#let's get serious#urbanspook#the painter urbanspook#urbanspook analog horror#i can already hear the twitter pissbabies laughing at this post and calling me a ''MeAtRiDeR 🤓'' but honestly? i dont giv a fucky#i'd rather support a guy whose only crime was quite literally doing a little trolling#than people who unapologetically engage in targeted harassment against someone for creating something that they cant milk for content#or for.. [checks notes] not adhering to the word of the Almighty God of Analog Horror Alex Kister/sarcasm#(if it isnt obvious already i hate the mandela catalog fandom and alex kister LMAO)#no but seriously#i dont know urban and i probably never will (at least not personally)#but i care about him a lot and i support him 110%#even if he might be a little bit of an asshole on twitter sometimes#he made something that served as a gateway for me to meet incredible people and experience some incredible things#even the bad stuff that came from being in this fandom taught me valuable lessons and gave me new insight on life#this is the first fandom that i've ever really felt comfortable and welcome in; the first fandom that i might've actually had an impact on#and no amount of whiny puritans or washed-up fnaftubers or subpar ''horror'' creators can change that#yeah the series might not be the best but things dont have to be The Best™ or even objectively good at all in order to be enjoyed#and i enjoy this series. i enjoy the series' fanbase. i enjoy that despite it all this series EXISTS and nothing can make it not exist#it happened and no one can change that and people will inevitably make more things like it and i LOVE THAT#so in conclusion fuck pastra fuck chezzkids fuck minaxa ESPECIALLY urban stays winning and so does this fanbase kthxbye#scary crane rambles
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rolling the devil’s dice
kinktober prompt: sweat | 4k | explicit
tags: omegaverse, alpha steve, omega eddie, camboy steve, scent kink
read on ao3
Eddie's an idiot. Certifiable. Undeniable.
Just- he knows better than to do shit like this.
But that doesn't stop him from being an idiot from time to time.
He started watching this camboy's streams - King Steve, he calls himself - months ago.
He was just looking at first, just browsing to see what was out there, see if there were any cute alphas he could find to jerk it to.
He thought his type was maybe a bit different from what he assumed was normal for everyone else. He's not interested in the macho alpha type, the type to get possessive and mean and demanding when they sniff out an omega slicking up.
No, he tends to go for softer types of alphas. Alphas who don't think with their knot, for one. Alphas who let their omega take charge sometimes, let their omega lead them instead of forcing them to follow, who don't subscribe to the whole "weak omega, strong alpha" shtick.
It's not even that he doesn't enjoy being taken apart and pieced back together by someone - he loves being a good boy for another omega - someone who gets it, someone who isn't demanding it from him. He loves betas who can get him out of his head for a little bit.
It's that most of the alphas he's encountered have been ones who expect him to be the one who's submissive and that grates on his fucking nerves. He does not like alphas who think that sex between them can only be one way.
So he specifically has to go searching for ones who don't fit the typical "alpha" vibe.
He has to leave his small town for the city nearby and go to alternative clubs to find alphas who aren't afraid of getting their asses fucked and showing how much they like it. Because those tend to be the ones that won't act like a raging asshole when it comes time for Eddie's heat.
He thought it might be a tall order, finding even one alpha online who checked all his boxes, but maybe it was presumptuous of him to think that. But he grew up in a small, backwards town in Indiana. The alphas here were hardheaded assholes who couldn't take no for an answer most of the time and wanted their omegas to be perfect, petite housewives.
But online, there's a plethora of alphas to choose from. Alpha women and men who spread themselves out on a bed and take themselves apart for their audience to see. Alphas who jerk themselves dry, whimpering the entire fucking time.
Eddie doesn't really have the spare money to subscribe to all the lovely alphas he sees when browsing OnlyFans for the first time, but he can spare enough money for one subscription, which means he has to make a choice.
He finds a few people that he might like to subscribe to and then he finds him.
King Steve.
The name alone almost deterred him because - really? - an alpha who names themselves "king" is probably exactly like all the alphas from bumfuck, Indiana.
But he's pretty and that draws Eddie in. He's gorgeous with soft looking hair and pretty moles scattered all over the parts of his body Eddie can see.
From the one-minute preview clip of his pretty face with his mouth dropped open, sounds of him jerking off his probably equally pretty out of frame cock and the couple free lewd pictures to lure people in, he can see that he's fucking beautiful. It's enough to make Eddie pause his search and look deeper, go to his twitter page and see more photos and short video clips.
There's a tiny video clip on twitter of him fucking himself open with a large dildo and it has Eddie wet and aching in the 60 seconds it takes to watch it.
He's phenomenal. And exactly what Eddie's looking for.
So he subscribed to him and he's tuned in for his weekly live streams every week since.
Steve seems like he was practically made for Eddie. With his strong, muscular body and his charming persona, he's everything Eddie wanted going into this.
The problem lies with Eddie's inability to separate a fan-based, parasocial relationship from real life. Because he feels like he's starting to like Steve more than is normal for someone just subscribing to his OF.
The little tidbits he learns about him from his streams - and he doesn't even know if any of it is real, that's the whole fucking problem - make him like Steve even more.
From hearing about his school life - he's studying to become a physical therapist - to hearing about his best friend who's a beta who he once thought he was in love with. He likes learning these things about him. He likes interacting with him in the chat before the live stream starts because Steve is witty and funny and Eddie is so, so stupid.
He likes it when he types something into the chat during a performance and Steve responds to him, personally, because in the moment, it feels like Steve is purposefully searching for Eddie's username in the chat. He does it a lot, but maybe Eddie is just sending in better material than the average ur so hot comment or the weird shit some other people send.
He knows it's bad when he starts thinking about plans for his next heat and his first thought, instinctively, is to tell Steve about it because maybe Steve can - what, exactly? Drop what he's doing wherever he is in the world and fly to Indianapolis?
Eddie flushes and feels so stupid that he even thought to tell him. He doesn't mention it in the chat during the next live stream but he desperately wants to know how Steve would respond.
He doesn't even know him but he likes watching him so much it's apparently turned his brain to mush.
During the following live stream, though, Steve says he's thinking about setting up a contest of sorts and wants to gauge the audience's interest. The gist of it is whoever wants to can pay their way to getting Steve's PO Box info to send him an item of their choosing - it could be scent related or a toy they want him to try out, but Steve will use whatever it is to make himself come on one of the streams.
It's stupid how Eddie is instantly dripping slick, thinking about Steve opening up a pair of Eddie's underwear on stream, covered in his scent and his sweat and his slick and his cum and jerking off onto it, mixing their scents together. He doesn't really believe in fated mates or anything, but if he did, he'd think this would be the perfect opportunity for the universe to prove him wrong.
It's also stupid because Steve has to have tons of subscribers and more than a few of them are interested and are already dropping tips large enough to cover his entry fee.
So Eddie knows it's stupid. He knows he probably won't be the one picked, but he wants to do it anyway. He works an extra shift to cover the cost of entry and the shipping fees and the special scent-proof packaging to keep the scent of his items ripe for Steve.
The deadline to ship stuff to Steve falls right after Eddie is scheduled to have his heat so he knows exactly what he's going to give him.
He spends his entire heat thinking about Steve. He thinks about what it would be like if he were with him. How Steve would probably let Eddie take charge, let him ride Steve's knot until he was satisfied, would let Eddie fuck him when waiting for Steve to get hard again after knotting him.
He just knows in his bones that Steve would take such good care of him, be a good alpha and get him off as many times and in as many ways as he wants.
He comes a ridiculous amount of times and his sweat and slick absolutely soaks through the underwear he's wearing and the shirt he placed beneath him. His scent is permeating both items and he's almost purring at the thought of Steve smelling them.
When he's all wrung out and pleasantly sore from fucking himself over and over and over again, he uses the scent-proofing packaging to bag up his underwear and shirt.
He hesitates before closing the box he's shipping them in and ends up throwing in his guitar pick necklace.
He's so embarrassed to be doing this. To have such a weirdly strong connection with a stranger who wouldn't give him the time of day if they ever bumped into each other in real life. And now he's giving him what feels like a piece of himself.
Eddie groans. It's not like he'll even be the one who's chosen, you know?
The chances are slim and he doesn't know what's going to happen to the packages Steve doesn't choose. Is he going to throw them out? Is Eddie literally just throwing his money away on this? Maybe so.
But he can't help but desperately wish that it's his package that'll be chosen.
He waits patiently for the stream where Steve will choose and the day it comes, he sits in front of his laptop impatiently.
He's been jittery all week.
He can't believe he spent so much money on this. On the special scent-proof packaging so that the scent didn't fade and so that he didn't get weird looks when he went to drop the package off. Plus the shipping costs. And on top of all that, he pays a monthly subscription to this guy, and he paid additional money to be sent the address of the PO box where the package should be delivered.
He's sweating, sitting here thinking about Steve opening up his package on camera and liking how he smells. He wants that so bad, but he knows there are so many others who sent stuff to him too, and there's no guarantee his package is the one that will be chosen. He called it a lottery for a reason.
And Eddie stupidly threw money he didn't have at him because he's so down bad for him.
When the stream starts, after he does his standard greeting, Steve says, "I had my friend Rob help me out since there were so many packages. You all really surprised me. I thought I'd have maybe ten to choose from and could just put them in a grab bag and pick from there but we had almost 40 packages! Four, zero! So my friend numbered them all and I'm going to do a random number generator so you all can see I'm not cheating."
He holds up his phone and shows them a picture of the packages strewn across his living room with the boxes already labeled in sharpie and then pulls back to tap a few times and then shows them the website where he's getting a randomly generated number. He hits the generate button and it pops out number 22.
Steve turns the phone back towards himself and throws his head back laughing. "Ooh! Twenty-two is a good number. Rob, can you grab that one for me?"
He chats with them for another minute while his friend is getting the package.
"Thanks babe," Steve says when he's handed a package labeled 22 in sharpie.
It's a box that is the same size as the one Eddie sent but he can't be sure it's his. He's biting his nails here.
Steve reads the chat again before opening the box and he laughs and says, "Don't worry, my darlings, Robbie was just helping out and now they're leaving. They said they do not want to be here when the fun actually starts."
He doesn't open the package right away, building the suspense. He puts it aside and starts pulling off his shirt.
"To get ready for whatever awaits me in this package," he says with a wink. It makes sense but goddamn does Eddie want to know if it's his.
He gets his shirt off and Eddie can't even complain because he loves looking at Steve's body. He just wishes he'd hurry the fuck up.
He unbuttons his pants, but doesn't take them off before he sits back down and opens the box.
"Okay, so the first thing I see is a scent-proof bag, which is exciting! That means I'll get to scent whatever's in there. Let's see if there is anything else." Steve rummages around and takes out- oh. Oh fuck.
He takes out Eddie's necklace.
It's his package. Jesus fucking Christ.
He really didn't expect it to be his, but now that it is, a flood of slick flows out of him at the thought of Steve getting to scent his clothes. His fingernails are digging into his palms as he tries to calm himself down.
Steve puts the necklace on - puts Eddie's necklace on. If he wears the necklace for the rest of the stream, Eddie doesn't know if he's going to survive it.
His whole body is tingling with arousal and it's so sudden and so unexpected that he has to get up and pace back and forth for a minute.
Steve starts speaking on screen, so Eddie walks back over to his laptop.
Steve is looking at the pick and saying, "-must be a musician, then? Or you just really like music. I don't- I think this is a band's name on here, but I've never heard of it. I won't say it on stream since that might be like- doxing, if it's your band, but I'll keep this on for the stream." He puts the side of the pick with the band's name facing in towards his chest.
Oh fuck. In his fit of stupidity, he sent his pick necklace that has Corroded Coffin's logo engraved on it.
He can't even take a moment to think about his stupidity because his skin is buzzing and he's more excited about Steve opening the rest of the package than he is worried about accidentally getting doxed. He's more excited than he has been about anything in a really long time.
He might have a slight Steve problem, but it's okay. It's manageable. It's going to be fine, watching him scent Eddie's slick and cum coated clothes is going to be fine, right?
This is going to sate whatever obsession he has with him and that'll be the end of it. Then he can move on, right?
He hopes he's right.
Back on the stream, Steve is getting ready to open the scent-proof packaging so that he can scent the clothes. It's - the anticipation is killing him.
He says, "I'm gonna get started now, I think." He grabs his box cutter and cuts into the scent-proof packaging to open it. He tosses the box cutter on his desk and reaches inside to grab what Eddie sent him.
Eddie's on the edge of his fucking seat, watching intently. Watching for any minuscule detail, any indication that he likes what he smells.
It turns out that he doesn't need to be looking so closely because as his hands touch the items Eddie sent, Steve is groaning and bringing Eddie's underwear up to his face to get it even closer.
Steve gasps out, "Fuck- it's. This is- I can't even talk right now, what the fuck?"
He's gripping Eddie's panties - because he went out and bought a sexy pair of panties for this, another expense he doesn't have the money for - tightly, inhaling long and deep pulls of breath in, making these sweet noises in his throat.
Eddie's not going to survive this at all. He's dripping wet, and aching about it.
Steve moves one of his hands below the view of the camera and knocks the box to the ground and groans deep in his throat. They can't see what he's doing from this angle, but it's a little obvious with the jerky movements of his shoulder.
He groans, deep and drawn out, like he normally does after a long session with one of his dildos drawing those noises out of him.
He scoots his chair back, likely remembering that he's live and people probably expect to see his cock at some point tonight. And-
He's-
Fuck.
His dick is already out - just pulled out of his pants hastily - and it's pulsing cum out over his fist, which is gripped tight around his knot. He- he doesn't ever knot on camera.
He's talked about it before, about how it's usually too much and leaves him too sensitive without an omega hole to milk it, so he doesn't knot even off camera most of the time.
But he's.
He scented Eddie's panties and immediately got his cock out and knotted his fist.
The thought makes Eddie dizzy. Makes his already shot nerves go haywire and he's kicking his pants off before he can think about it, still staring at Steve's cock, wet and glistening, still twitching and kicking out come.
He gets a hand around his cock and can't stop himself from planting his feet and thrusting up into his fist. Seeing Steve like this - and because of him - has him on the edge immediately. He's soaking his underwear much like he did during his heat, smearing his scent everywhere.
He can't look away from the screen. He sees Steve still taking in breaths of air with Eddie panties under his nose, sees the way he starts to get shivery after another minute of squeezing his knot with his hand.
Eddie jerks himself hard and fast, fucking up into it and moaning, louder than he has any right to. Watching Steve get all sensitive like he talked about, without a hole, without Eddie's hole around his knot to make it better, has Eddie gasping and coming in no time.
He gets his come everywhere, up his shirt and on his chair and on the floor, and it's like they're in sync for a second, both of their cocks leaking and twitching in time with each other before the comedown. Like Steve was just waiting for Eddie to get there before he stopped coming.
Steve whines on the screen, tightening his fist around his knot. Eddie squeezes his cock in sympathy. He wishes he was there, wishes it was his hole that was wrapped tight around Steve's knot instead of his fist. He wishes he could scent Steve right now, have Steve scent him back, nose buried in his neck.
He shivers thinking about Steve licking over his scent gland as he writhes on his knot.
Steve lowers the hand that has Eddie's panties in them. He looks dazed. Genuinely, truly dazed.
He looks into the camera, lets out a shaky breath, and says, "So that was, um, that was unexpected."
He's still got tremors running through his body, fist still tight around his knot. He's absolutely covered in cum. It's all over his fist and dripping down onto his pants, streaked up his chest. Eddie wants to clean him up with his tongue.
He looks down at himself and seems to realize the state he's in.
"I hate to end this early, but I have to, I need to- I still can't think right now. I gotta go," Steve says, looking to the side where he can see the chat. "Sorry, guys. Hope you enjoyed that, but I'm a mess and need to shower."
He ends the stream before Eddie can even think about saying anything in the chat.
And what would he say anyway? Oh, hi! I'm the one whose scent just rocketed you into knotting your fist for the first time for the entire internet to see. Care to chat?
He's so pathetic.
He exits out of the ended stream and cleans up the mess he made before showering.
He has a lot of thoughts in the shower. He never once believed in fate or mates or any of that, but his scent alone was enough to have Steve knotting up and that has to mean something, right? Or maybe he just wants it to mean something.
He could be alone in thinking that and Steve could already have someone, maybe whoever Robbie is. He scrubs a hand down his face and tries not to let his mind wander too much. Fuck.
He knew he shouldn't have sent anything. It's just his fucking luck that he'd be the one picked and now what? He's even more obsessed with Steve, getting jealous over imagined boyfriends and thinking they might be fated mates.
He gets out of the shower and towels off.
He tries not to think about it over the next few days, but his mind keeps on coming back to it. Of course it does. He's never seen anything like it. Never seen or heard through the grapevine about anyone who this sort of thing happened to. With just a scent, an alpha popping a knot. It's like something from the movies. He can't not think about it.
He contemplates messaging Steve, because of course he does. But he doesn't want to seem like he's desperate for attention. There's probably a hundred of his followers who are claiming the package belonged to them. It's not like he put a note or a return address on the package other than the store he shipped it from. He didn't think this far ahead because he didn't think there was ever a chance of anything like this happening.
He wonders if Steve cares who sent it. If he's laid up with his boyfriend while Eddie panics over this. If he's back to his normal life outside of streaming and not thinking about this at all.
He wants Steve to be thinking about it.
He has to message him, right? He can't just let this go - there's a more than likely chance that Steve, this alpha he's been obsessed with for way too long, is connected to him in some way.
He's still not sure if he believes in fated mates and all that, but this has to mean something. It has to.
He's determined to figure out a way to word a message that doesn't have him looking completely pathetic, but it turns out he doesn't have to.
When he logs back onto the website, there's a message waiting for him. From two days ago.
Hi! So I think you're the one who sent me the package that I opened on camera last week. At least I hope you are.
I've been looking, trying to find who you were because a bunch of followers sent packages and you probably already know that so why am I telling you this. But a bunch of people messaged me saying they sent the package, but none of them could tell me the return address on it or even what state it came from.
Anyway, I wanted to find you myself since it doesn't seem like you reached out unless I missed it? I looked up the band on the necklace in the package, and one of the members is named Eddie and they're from the same state the package was mailed from and then I went through the people who tipped and were sent the PO box to send stuff to and your handle is EddietheBanished and that kind of fit, so.
So I'm hoping it's you. Like, I'm really, really hoping it's you. And I'm hoping you'll want to talk. It's okay if it's overwhelming and you'd rather not deal with it, but I really, really want to talk if you do.
Let me know.
Stevie
part 2
#there's a part 2 coming on october 18!#steddie#stranger things#steddie fic#omegaverse#steddie ficlet#stranger things fic#stranger things fanfiction#janai.doc
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my regulus’s ranked in order of most to least problematic because it’s funny
1. blood and water regulus
he was a part of a murderous cult, and although he left and would get some sympathy points online for it, he is still an active follower of the cult’s religion.
my boy has also killed countless innocent people. which is one of the worst things a person can do. i don’t think there’s any coming back from that.
2. temps sans fin regulus
he was going to be first, but i thought murder might be a worse offense so temps sans fin regulus is now second.
where do i even begin… he’s been sleeping with a married man for multiple years, is friends with said man’s wife, (spoiler for lmpdt!) he cheated on his girlfriend with said married man, and he also does cocaine sometimes which isn’t really that bad but twitter is weird.
he’s also keeping in contact with problematic family members, so twitter would definitely pull a sydney sweeney “cancellation” on him for that lmao.
3. all over everywhere regulus
even though he’s going through a lot and trying his best, twitter would have no mercy. he does hard drugs, he steals, he lies, he gaslights people, he physically fights people, threatens to kill people, (spoilers) he gets arrested a few times for loitering and drug possession and aggravated assault among other things… yeah.
he’s only so far down on this list because he tries to be better. he’s getting help i promise. he’s just going through it right now.
4. ogni parte e viva regulus
he’s tame compared to the regulus’s above, but i think he’d still get cancelled lmao. the worst thing he’s done i think is just be a little inconsiderate to the girls he hooks up with. he’s not just a whore, but he’s kind of an asshole about it. i love him but it’s true.
opev reg is also pretty pretentious… if he isn’t cancelled then twitter would just be annoyed with him.
5. nocturne regulus
i really do not think nocturne regulus would get cancelled. he truly minds his business.
maybe he’d get a bit of the sydney sweeney “cancellation” treatment, but idk. it seems far fetched. nocturne reg is definitely the most well-adjusted version of regulus i have ever written.
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I posted 273 times in 2022
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My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
I can't remember if I saw it here or on reddit, but I saw someone say that had Elizabeth Holmes's idea been something innocent like an app, it would not have been a problem. But because her invention had the possibility to harm people, harm their wellbeing. That's what she did wrong. And I agree with that. She's not some 'girlboss' she's a criminal.
51 notes - Posted January 5, 2022
#4
Caleb having the night he and Hanna "went camping" as part of his password, complete with an exclamation point, makes me love the Haleb ship even more
57 notes - Posted June 25, 2022
#3
Is Ezria unhealthy and a bit uncomfortable with him being her teacher and all? Yes, yes it is. Do I ship it, also yes. Because sometimes, there are some ships that might be unhealthy and/or uncomfortable but you can still ship them. Not all ships have to be healthy and perfect, as long as you admit that it is not healthy and perfect.
62 notes - Posted June 22, 2022
#2
Idiots on Twitter claiming bullshit like monkey pox is only a gay virus and isn’t airborne need to do some fucking research. Look at the CDC and the WHO, actually credible websites, which clearly state that it’s airborne and has a fatality rate of up to 1 in 10.
See the full post
65 notes - Posted May 19, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Fuck Kanye West. Fuck that Nazi asshole. He can go to hell
824 notes - Posted December 4, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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dunno if you still still take fic requests but if you do, pls write a fic with light and L having an intense contest over wordle. love your work and your blog btw :))
Hi!! Nope I don't really open fic recs but I'll do them if I can, and this one looks fun to do. Sorry it takes a while! Idk if this 100% fits the prompt but I tried 😅
AU where everything is fine, the year is 2022 (I imagine them being middle aged during this time..with their canon ages, but honestly it's up to you, I don't specify), the two lives together with a cat, and L has a secret social media account. Doesn't not stop them from being competitive as ever. I put this in my short fic collection on AO3.
----
Mornings had been fine. Light wakes up quite early, takes a shower and dresses up, has his breakfast and coffee in the kitchen with a furry ball of a scrunkly black cat that resembles another occupant of the house rubbing his body on Light's legs, then he's ready for work. Of course he's not alone, he has a human sized scrunkly black haired creature perching on the opposite side of the bed and counter in each of those mornings. It's Light's favorite time of the day and he knows it's L's too. Two morning people basking in each other's presence, their plates illuminated by the golden sun from the window, a peaceful wispy air to prepare themself for whatever day that might come…
Yeah, all peaceful and shit before L discovered Wordle — "Light-kun, Mello and Matt are currently fussing about this Wordle thing on Twitter. I wonder what that is." — and thought it was a good idea for them to try it. And make it a competition. Because of course they do. They're Light and L, but like—
"What do you start with?" Light tends to be more curious on L's starter than the other way around. They're not the 'ADIEU' or 'IRATE' users, duh, that's for losers and cowards, they're better than that. Usually they just use a convenient word that pops in their enormous brains, sometimes things from the surrounding at the moment. But the other day, the little shit won first try with the word 'MOIST' resulting in a very heated silent treatment — over the years, the sulking habit got a little bit infectious — from Light for the rest of the day.
Oh and that one time Light wrote his own name and resulted in the same accomplishment. His partner cursed him as "narcissistic asshole" (hypocrite) and talked shit about him to the cat with a cooing baby voice everytime Light was within earshot.
Luckily, their competition only consists of who is faster so far. It would be embarrassing, a shameful mistake, a cruel stab of pride for them out of all people to lose even one Wordle strike. What do you mean New York Times is better, smarter than them? No way.
"Scone."
"Oh really?" Light rolled his eyes.
"You?"
"Cases."
"Boring."
"Shut up. What does it matter anyway?"
Light squints at the yellow 'E', and carefully ponders before he writes down a new word. Still a yellow 'E', but at least there's another yellow 'R'. He can feel the piercing glance of L's as his lips pulled into a tiny smile. He hasn't got it yet.
He got an 'E' for his first guess but I don't know if it's green. He still has the chances of guessing the letter 'O' and 'N' which I didn't have earlier but it seems like he doesn't get anything yet in the second row. Should I try using the letters he used? No, knowing him he would probably get at least something but I can't quite see it in his face. I have one vowel left to use, too. I should be careful. But the letter 'N' is not impossible….no. Let's try this first. He typed in a word.
Fuck. Nothing.
For the first time since the day they started playing the game, Light feels stupid. Well- not stupid, Light Yagami is never stupid. There's just a fear of defeat as his gaze ghost on the determined expression of L's. Think fast, Yagami. You can't lose against L and this stupid game. Even though L looks ten times more attractive when with deep focus on his face, thumb toying with his lip— fuck. Okay. No. Stop!
By the time they type in the first letter of the fourth row, the coffee is almost gone cold at this point, and the cat is only a few steps away from snatching the half eaten scones in L's plate. His partner's eyebrows — or the place where there should be eyebrows — furrowed, and Light himself is mumbling as he cards through his inner dictionary.
"How's it going, Light-kun?"
"Good."
"Are you?"
"Are you?"
Light's head tilts up when he gets a green 'V'. A word snapped into his head all of the sudden. He waits until L writes down his own word, hiding a grin when he sees that familiar sulky look accompanied by a flash of shock. That's it.
'NERVE'
This is it, for the first time L lost, and Light wins- Light's grin falls the moment the letters reveal themselves—
'VERVE'
"What…"
Heat spread across his cheeks as he read the answer. Deep breath, yagami, deep breath. It's just a Wordle, it's just a silly online game it's not a big deal, right? L—
That little shit.
"Ah. I thought about answering this one but also thought it didn't make sense…"
"It doesn't! There's two 'V's and two 'E's what is wrong with them?" Light bursts at last. Okay, well, at least they both lose their strike.
"I know right, that's unexpected."
"Yeah!"
"This is embarrassing."
"Should've been you who bought it instead of the New York Times. I fucking hate them," Light huffs, frowning as he circles the counter and cleans his dirty dishes on the sink.
"You didn't propose the idea earlier, now I want to see what I can do."
"I was kidding, god's sake."
"I know. Next time, you're hacking them."
"You know what I'm fucking tempted."
"Light-kun's been cursing like a hundred times and it's only seven in the morning."
"I'm pissed," Light says, wiping his hand on a napkin. "And I'm going to be late."
"Leaving now?"
"Yeah, I'll be having a bad day." Light moves away from the kitchen, still wearing a sour look as he fetches a bag from the living room.
"Goodbye," L says, mouth full of the unfinished scone that managed to survive from prying paws. Light enters the kitchen once more and plants a quick kiss on the other's messy hair, his face tickled by the strands. "Hope your coworkers don't know that their Yagami is losing on Wordle."
"I hope the world knows their greatest detective is losing on it too!" It's the last thing he says before the door is slammed shut.
Mornings…are not always fine.
#my lawlight writing skill is fading i'm sorry 😔✌#death note#light yagami#l lawliet#lawlight#my fic#enjoy anon#whoa someone talk to me#i know they're smarter than this and i don't show the words they put in but HEY#that's because I. the writer. is fucking bad at wordle!#i cant even manage myself how am i suppose to make smart people doing it?
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hawks_littledove.mp3
— You’re an avid listener to NSFW ASMR artist Hawks. It’s just your luck that he’s offered to have phone sex with you.
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pairing: takami keigo (hawks) x fem!reader
warnings: smut, 18+, slight abuse of power/influence, phone sex, masturbation, degradation, praise, nsfw asmr artist!hawks
word count: 5,018
a/n: my keyboard is broken and i could actually cry. but hey, hawks do be sexy even tho I would never trust him with my life. also LOL this might be a call out to a lot of us, do not be offended or I will cry.
kinktober day 14 main kink: phone sex | kinktober masterlist
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Fantasizing about being in relationships with fictional characters was entirely healthy and normal.
That was something you believed to the core. It was fictional; thus, no one but you were to be hurt at the end of the day. The character, being fake, could never have an opinion because you must be real in order to have an opinion. So when you were between boyfriends, you discovered a new anime, and before you could stop yourself, you fell hard for a character.
It started as a mild obsession.
You had looked up fanart via google images, your heart warming when you saw the plethora of different fanart. The anime itself had been in circulation for a few years now, the manga for much longer, so the content was endless. Then google images wasn’t enough, and you began crossing into Twitter and Tumblr.
The fanart became better, more engrossing, and definitely much more NSFW. And then, one night during your endless rabbit hole down Tumblr after your daily search on Twitter, you stilled when seeing a new type of content.
⇒ grey fullbuster x reader
The obsession grew worse.
So much so that you had followed nearly five hundred self insert writers and artists on Tumblr, and maybe seven hundred artists, meta writers, and thread makers on twitter. But three months into consuming all the content you could find, you came across a new name that made you tilt your head.
Hawks Fierce Wings
It was a name that was being repeated and heavily talked about on both sites. It was an ASMR artist, apparently, and you frowned at the thought. You didn’t have anything against ASMR videos, but you weren’t exactly sure how to handle an anime ASMR artist. Were they cosplaying while making all those weird ASMR sounds? You really didn’t have any idea, but due to the immense boredom of your lazy day in, you decided to hell with it and tried out his most popular video.
It was simply entitled: Hawks is Jealous.
Did you have any idea as to who Hawks was? God, no, you didn’t. But if it was just some random cosplay he was going to do, you didn’t think it was going to matter. So as the only slightly educated ASMR listener, you never truly became invested when it was a thing; you slipped on your earbuds and pressed play.
The introduction screen faded into an illustrated picture of a slightly handsome man, and some calming yet tense music played in the background. You shifted, eyebrows drew as you waited for the ASMR session to begin, and when it did, you were not ready.
“I saw you walking around with that asshole today,” a voice practically growled in your ear, and you froze.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no!
For almost an entire hour, you sat glued to your sofa, your fingers digging into your lap as the jealous, spiteful words of this man named Hawks poured bitterly in your ear. His words were a near aggravated assault on you and definitely something you were beyond uncomfortable hearing from a stranger, but there was something about his voice that kept you there. Maybe it was the tenor of his tone or the way there was this sly, cunning scent to his words that he seemed to hide deep within his throat, but there was something that kept you there.
The second the passionate, heated kissing noises and heavy moans began to spill from his lips, you screeched, slamming your laptop closed as your cheeks pounded heavily.
Oh my god?!
It took a bit, but eventually, you were able to finish the audio and quickly figured out why he was an NSFW artist. You had never, ever heard a man eat a pussy fake or real as eagerly or vigorously as he did. Your hands were gripping the pants of your leggings, and your chest heaved.
Oh, motherfucking shit.
Finding out there were almost seventy other videos for you to still experience sent you scrambling for more, and eventually, you had to confess you were obsessed. Despite the anime fandoms you had discovered him for, Hawks seemed to be more famous for the content he created as himself. His real name was unknown by the looks of it, and he was only addressed as Hawks by his audience, something you caught on to quickly. So only after creating a new profile for his Youtube account, you made quick work of liking and commenting on every single of his already published seventy-eight nearly one hour and thirty-minute videos.
Each one was different.
Each one filled with various roadmaps on how Hawks' scenarios would play out for you — the listener. When he used his own persona, he called the listener his little dove or his chicken nugget, sometimes his KFC thigh, or his shish kabob.
You were glad at the very least he didn’t call you by any of those nicknames when pretending to fuck you at a speed only a “porn-is-my-only-education-on-porn” virgin teenage boy. You knew it wasn’t ideal, usually, but for some reason, it just worked. You commented on everything, read his summaries and thoughts on each video. Eventually, when you found yourself on his final, most recent video, you were ready to go a step further.
The Patreon app on your phone seemed jarringly out of place as you opened the app and subscribed yourself to Hawks' highest tiered option for the price of twenty USD.
And when you got your access to his page, you were immersed in more heavier, better content.
It was a goldmine in a sea of fools gold, and you absolutely went insane.
You weren’t sure if you were insane, needy, or just straight-up idiotic for scrolling to the very first Patreon post and indulging in the content Hawks created.
There was a stark difference between the warnings alone between the Youtube videos and the Patreon posts. While the porn was readily accessible on Youtube, the kinkiest thing that ever happened in a video was a slight implication that Hawks had left the listener on a vibrator and fuckmachine as he went to go talk to the visiting neighbors.
It was a slight, tiny zone out and miss a detail, but one you had clung onto like an obsessed psycho and even commented on in your comment on the post. Of course, Hawks hadn’t responded, not that you had ever expected him to because all things considered, a video that was eight months old and hadn’t done that well, to begin with, didn’t seem like anything he would remember: notifications and all.
But Patreon? Oh good, sweet, ravishing Patreon.
The very first video was of the following:
Stepbrother!Hawks fucks Stepsister!Listener in the stairwell during Christmas Dinner.
After praying and swearing to all the deities of the world that you were merely a person with a voice kink for this man and not, in fact, a perverted pseudo-incest worshiper, you clicked on it and began. It was downright sinful.
There were active voices whispered in the background as Hawks laughed about how fucking slutty you were for letting your brother fuck you like this. In the hallway, like a dog, where anyone in your joint family could walk out into. He laughed that you probably wanted it, how your wet ass pussy was greedily sucking him in, so how could you even begin to deny your lust for your brother.
You had to take a break five times during that audio.
Eventually, you do end up catching up.
Each video he had ever posted to your disposal, and most likely due to the different tier levels, you always commented on the videos. Even if it made you feel awkward for lusting over things months old, even if there were no other comments on the videos, which was much more common than you thought, you always commented and liked. It wasn’t anything ever crazy, you had seen the rarest comments bring a whole essay of analysis on why they loved it or the hating words, but you kept it simple.
Just something to keep Hawks spirits high without draining you even further of energy.
A simple: holy shit, that was hot as fucking hell!!!! you never disappoint me!!!
You never expected anything out of it; as a matter of fact, you had merely thought that you were doing the least by merely appreciating his creations when, one night, a few hours after you had gotten home. Your phone chimed with an alert.
Your mouth formed an ‘o’ in surprise; you hadn’t realized there was going to be a new release after he had just updated four days ago. Still, you popped in your earbuds and began the audio with a simple title.
i fuk ur stupid lil pus until u cri
He wasn’t precisely putting much effort into his titles these days, but his tags were definitely accurate and entirely explicit in what was to come. And in this newest video, the prominent tag was degradation.
You weren’t entirely into degradation, but still, you did what you had to do because you weren’t turned off by it. With the beginning sounds of the music playing in the background, you warped into the situation Hawks carefully carved.
But, oh?
Your face simmered with heat as Hawks dirty words dripped from the earbuds, the wet, squelching noise of your cunt and throat being fucked like some inanimate object made you soak through your panties as his disparaging words burned against your spine like a hot brand. After the thirty-minute audio was finished. Your body trembling with the aftershocks of an orgasm that had come despite the lack of actual stimulation of your clit, and you panted on your bed.
Opening your phone once again, you quickly liked the new audio and typed out your comment.
listen, i know i always comment about how fucking hot this shit is, but i have /never/ fucking soaked through my panties… you just did that and i expect a full refund for these panties 💦
You pressed send and, without so much of a second thought, continued your night. You had dinner, talked with friends, and ended the night curled back on the couch with a wine glass in your hand and a simple sit-com playing on the TV. The familiar sound of the Patreon alert rang in your ear, and you frowned, confused.
Grabbing your phone, you opened up the device and nearly shrieked at the sight of the information the notification that said:
Hawks F.W.:
lets see those panties before i refund anything
A chill ran down your spine as you quickly put together the indications of this message, and you smirked, despite your quivering hands.
Me:
I have a seven inch dick requirement before seeing any of the goods — yes, that includes my panties
And from that very moment, you began a strange arrangement between you and the NSFW ASMR artist Hawks.
.
..
.
Working was the worst part of your life, you would say.
At work, you would sit in your small 4x4 cubicle, your shelves stacked with plenty of papers and items you needed, not to mention the computer that took up the majority of your desk. You weren’t quite sure what your job here was, you sort of sat at your desk and did meaningless assignments when assigned, but you did nothing for the most part.
Before becoming an active Hawks stan, you would spend your time doing nothing playing video games. You had somehow managed to install a VPN onto your hard drive so that your employers wouldn’t be able to see what was on your screen outside of the home screen. They couldn’t trace what you did all day, but they could care less, given you got all your work completed on time and done in an over exceptional way.
But lately, since you had dropped into this… engrossed whore like relationship with Hawks, things changed.
To be honest, it still shocks you to no end when he tells you that he had always been aware of you. Well, with your consistent, ever appearing comments on his posts and overall enthusiasm for everything he posted, it was hard to not be aware. The mental image of your soaked through panties after a long day at his own work had sent him over the edge, and he finally messaged you.
Through the DM’s in Patreon, the two of you grew to become quite the friends with benefits. He would send you countless personalized audio files because you had quickly confessed to your voice kink and how his voice sent your stomach into hormonal knots. In return, you’d send the picture of an occasional soaked panty, and if he was lucky, an audio clip of your pathetic whines back to his audios.
You couldn’t complain about this arrangement.
But as the number of his patrons doubled, and he wanted to entice his subscribers with paying him even more money, Hawks began to offer a bimonthly personalized five minute audios for his $20 tier. The fans poured into that spot, and Hawks and proudly sent you the new number of adoring fans he was getting. On account of growing platforms such as Tiktok, the number of new listeners he got was nearly exponential, as he currently passed one million followers last week.
The cheeky bastard was also making enough money to stop working his regular work hours anymore. Choosing to transition slowly into his Patreon career while recording.
Hawks, however, seemed to have other ideas for your eventual personalized voice audio.
Hawks had simply asked if, by any chance, you were going to be working tomorrow the night before. Groaning loudly in recognition of your work schedule, you had texted him back that you were going to be working. Snidely including the fact that you weren’t rich like him, you needed the tedious old nine to five job.
Hawks:
how utterly boring
anyway u can b free around 2?
Me:
Eh… probably not.
Busy girl w busy schedule, ill be back from lunch so no break
Why?
Hawks:
well, u knw tht uve been amzing & th bst follower so i wanted 2 give u smthing better then the personalized audio
Me:
Oh?
Well, what is it?’
Hawks:
pick up tmrw n find out
He had changed the subject immediately afterward by dodging all of your questions with ease. So you dropped it, and the two of you resumed a night of flirting. But now, sitting in your small cubicle, your eyes flashing to the clock that read 1:57 p.m., sweat began to build on your palm.
You peered down to your phone as you waited for something, anything from Hawks to show up. The fucker was too cheeky, evasive, and quick for his own good. You felt like pouting as you glared at the phone, waiting for the screen to light up.
And you stilled when finally, at precisely 1:59 p.m., your phone gleamed with light. You couldn’t abandon your computer mouse quicker than you did as you grabbed your phone, unlocking it, and reading the message from Hawks.
Hawks:
do u have earbuds?
Me:
Yes?
Hawks:
good put them on n pick up
The moment you had read the first message, you were already pulling out your earbuds, synching them up to your phone, and placing them into your ear. But your jaw dropped when, for the first time, the call feature highlighted onto the screen, the time immediately changing to that of 2:00 p.m. The decline or accept button had never looked as daunting as it did right now.
Despite the call trying to go through, you still saw his follow up.
Hawks:
if u dont pick up u wont get shit
[Accept]
You felt your heart hammering in your chest as both fear, apprehension, and excitement boiled through your veins, the hammering blood pounding in your ears as you waited for some sort of noise on the opposite side of the line.
“Little dove?” Hawks' voices filled your ears, and despite yourself, you smiled softly. The naturalness of his voice sends warm thumps down your spine.
“Hi, Hawks,” you whisper breathlessly, your head already checking to make sure your neighboring cubicle mates didn’t try to look over the divisions to stare at you. For the most part, the office building was quiet except for the phone calls, the clanking of computer keys, and the monotonous music playing softly on the speaker's head.
“Whatcha doing?” he drawled, and you felt your skin heat up when you heard the all too familiar sound of his shoes hitting the top of his desk, the soft whine of his chair as he leaned back onto it. “Are you really at work?”
“What do you mean, am I really at work?” you squeaked, half horrified at the way the lazy, warm heat of lust was infiltrating your body at the sound of his voice, and the annoyance that he thought you had been lying? “Of course I am; it’s two p.m. on a Wednesday!”
“Ah, so little dove-chan is a raging pervert who engages in phone sex to bypass her long hours at work?” Hawks sighed his tone that of understanding and dismissal. You splutter. “You never fail to surprise me.”
“I do not do… that!” you stammer, your face feeling like hot cinders, your fingers and eyes double-checking to make sure that the audio was going to your earbuds and your earbuds only. You also couldn’t help the way your eyes swept around you, trying to make sure you hadn’t accidentally invited unwanted attention. “I said I was busy!”
“But, you picked up my call?”
“You said, or else!”
“Mmm, okay, I think I see,” Hawks tutted, and although you had never seen what you supposed to be his handsome face, you could imagine a lazy, toothy smirk on his face. “Don’t worry, I don’t mind using your little cubicle to talk you into fucking yourself good for me.”
Your jaw drops.
It hits the desk, and the muffled shriek of utter humiliation is only silenced because you bit onto your tongue like a rabid animal.
“Aw, you sound so excited for me already, little dove. I bet you want to know what I’m going to do to you, don’t you? I just know that I’m going to make you feel so... good…”
“Hawks!” you plea in a hushed whisper, your heart hammering where you sat frozen like a deer in headlights. Sure, you had definitely played his audios before to pass the time, but never before in your existence had you had actual phone sex. This was riskier than just listening to his audios; his audios always had a pattern, a way to escape from the madness of his voice when people were closer than you’d like. But this? No, there was no escape. “I’m at work! I c-can’t!”
“But, fuck, I want you so bad,” Hawks' voice dipped into a gravely tone, his voice just perfectly scratchy enough that your shoulders trembled in unspoken, untouched want. “I want to feel your cunt around my cock, baby, your pussy is so hot and I want to be the fucking lucky bastard that gets to fuck you through your bed.”
“O-Oh my god…”
“I’ve been thinking of what your tits look like,” Hawks continues on, his voice continuing in the style you liked the most. It was raw, heavy, and deep. No character impersonations, just him, pure Hawks. “I hope they bounce the way they do when I imagine you riding me. I want to see you moan when I kiss the underside of your tit, I want to see your face when you realize that you’re my girl, nobody's else's, but mine.”
Heat floods your panties at his words, your shallow breaths making him chuckle on the other end.
“You’d be so lucky to be just mine, wouldn’t you, little dove?” Hawks snaps, his voice demanding a response, and you heave.
You look around, no one is near, and you croak out: “I’d be so lucky.”
“Louder.”
“I’d be so lucky.”
“Mm, there we go,” Hawks laughs, and your ears prickle for any noise that may indicate that someone was listening in. “What? Are you getting nervous that your needy ass will be heard by your coworkers right now? Answer me.”
“Mhmm,” you hum loudly, your cunt pulsing with more incredible heat and your hands shaking with a slight fear of being caught.
“Aww, don’t worry, little dove. I’m sure your boss will understand that you’re my newest fucktoy and will let me continue. Maybe they’ll want to join in?”
You whimper softly, shifting in your seat at that thought. You didn’t really want your boss coming anywhere near you, he was old and gross for one, and nothing could take the place of this beautiful man's voice in your ear right now.
“Oh, was that a no? You don’t want other people fucking you, do you, y/n? I bet you only want to have my cock in your tight little pussy, bet you want to watch the way that greedy little thing sucks me in, begging for my seed. Would you want me to cum deep inside you? You would like that little dove; you’d like to be full of my cum.”
“H-Hawks,” you keen as quietly as you can, your hips shifting uncomfortably in your seat, your heart hammering in your throat. The pressing heat in your cunt is growing, your panties growing with wet slick as Hawks' voice whispers down your ear, filling every empty and void space in your brain until you were having trouble focusing on the very much public spot you were in.
Hawks let out a soft, guttural moan, and you froze, face entirely combusting into an inferno as the familiar slick slapping of his fapping cock filled your ear. Immediately, you forgot everything.
“A-Are you—?!” you splutter, unable to find the words or the energy to come up with a way to ask if he was masturbating right now. Your eyes spun, your mind in a complete haze as soft, raunchy moans spilled from his lips, striking against your nerves and soul with each successive sound.
“I’m only trying to help you out here, dove,” Hawks growled, undoubtedly in effect to a rather loud smack of his fist colliding with his thrusting hip. “You’re the little office slut who picked up a phone call to entice in phone sex. I bet you knew exactly what I was going to do, and your pathetic, needy whore self caved to my instructions.”
Your fingers curled into the armrest of your chair.
“I bet this makes your boring ass job tolerable, the perfect distraction to a shit job, then imagining a few minutes of fucking yourself against my hard cock.”
“That’s not true!”
“No?” Hawks laughed, not believing you any more than you did. “So you wouldn’t hate it if I showed up and fucked you into the wall of your cubicle? You wouldn’t mind if I claimed your sweet-smelling pussy against your desk for everyone to hear? I know you can scream like a bitch in heat. I know that pretty little cunt of yours would milk my cock dry. Oh, I just know you would look so fucking sexy with your back arched, eyes closed, and you begging for hours just to cum. You wouldn’t cum without my permission, right?”
You gasped, heart fluttering, hammering in your chest as you shook your head, not trusting yourself to speak.
“I need a verbal answer, little dove.”
The heat in your core was blistering, your thighs shaking with your unadulterated lust and need as you ground into the cushion of your chair. All logic and moral long gone as he snarled and moaned your name in your ear, the slick of his fapping cock echoing like a great bell in your ear. You wanted to hear him cum, wanted to listen to the pithering sound of his echoing moans as he spilled the contents of his balls onto his hand — and how you wished it was your womb.
“I won’t cum w-without your permission!” you whispered, your skin shivering with your fear of being caught.
“God, you sound like such a dirty fucking bitch. I bet your pussy is fucking soaked already. Bet you really want to run that slutty embarrassed finger against your clit but don’t want to be caught by your perverted coworkers,” Hawks hissed, his breaths turning into steady, heavy hot pants. You mewl softly, confirming his spoken thoughts, and he huffs out a laugh. “How many fingers do you normally shove up that pretty cunt of yours, little dove?”
“T-Three!” you gasp, your forehead pressing to the cool of your desk, your eyes glazed over and looking at the entrance of your cubicle, fervently wishing that no one tries to check on you as you grind against your stable chair. “O-Only three fit.”
“Fuck, you really do have a tight cunt, don’t you,” Hawks snaps, the wet sounds of his fisting hand around his cock a beautiful melody in your ear that makes you whine at the back of your throat. “Bet you can’t even fit cocks up your cunt without lube, huh. You gotta stay on top, or else you’ll get hurt with how thick and long my cock will be up that baby pussy of yours.”
“H-Hawks!” you grit out, the friction of grinding on the seat no longer working.
“Go to the bathroom, now,” Hawks commands, the small gasps on his voice from his approaching orgasm more than enough ammo for you to do as told.
You sprint to the bathroom, the slick of your cunt hot, and evident to you as you sped to the bathroom. Your phone clenched in your hand as you locked the door behind you, glad the room was empty. Barely managing to get yourself into the stall, the toilet paper placed on the seat as you raised your legs up, already prepared. The skirt you wore was bunched above your ass, and the panties you wore, stretching out around your knees.
“Sounds like you’re ready to start fucking that pussy for me,” Hawks laughs, but there's no humor, just bite. “Put in three fingers, now.”
Without even arguing or caring, three fingers slip into your cunt, and you cry at the feeling of your fingers completely stretching you out. The smell of sex and slick filling your nose as your fingers slick up, fucking your tight cunt as you moan louder and louder for Hawks.
“God, your fucking pussy is so fucking wet, I can hear it from here!” Hawks moans, the frantic sound of his drilling hips gaining speed and momentum.
“I want it to be you!” you moan, your face burning in your humiliation. “I want it to be you fucking my pussy, claiming me in this bathroom. I need you, Hawks, I want your cock so badly!”
“Fuck,” Hawks gasps, something tumbling in the background. “Such sweet words for a fucking dirty ass cumslut,” he growls, and your legs shake, your clit and cunt thrumming with your increasing arousal and pit of tightness in your core.
“HAWKS, FUCK!” you sob as your hips try to start a merciless speed against your fingers, your body trying to match the speed in which Hawks was fucking his own hand.
“Keep screaming my name, whore.” Hawks gasps, his noises of pleasure beginning to grow louder and louder, your eyes crossing in satisfaction. “Screaming my name like the fucking slutty mess you are. All this shit just to get me to fuck you? God, you’re so fucking pathetic y/n. Begging for me, begging for more? I think you’re my favorite little dove ever, gonna make you mine whenever I get to fuck that pussy.”
“Hawks!” you wail his name again, your arms and pussy throbbing with the energy it takes to keep up with his inhumane speeds. Your vision seeing stars as you tremble more and more, your legs slipping from the toilet seat, yet. “I am your whore, your little dove. Please let me come, please! You fuck me so well, fucking hell, please, I needa cum, I needa cum!”
“Cum with me,” he snaps, his voice so deep, so dangerously smooth. It was precisely what you needed, the voice kink you had for his tenor exactly fulfilled entirely with that simple, last command. And just like that, your jaw slackens, head slamming backward, and pleasurable waves crash through you.
Your fingers still rock at your clit, and your vice gripped walls, your toes curling within your shoes as you soundlessly scream. Hawks, on the other end, is practically snarling, voice deep and altogether dangerous as grunt after grunt leaves him, and you can imagine the milk-white cum splattered all over his chest and hand. A beautiful, perfect sight that you wish you could see for yourself.
Exhaustion settles in your bones as you sit on the toilet, still entirely exhausted as you heave for air.
“I think that was the best fucking orgasm I ever had,” you mumble, your eyes closed, not ready to stand up and move. “Thank you.”
“I’m good at what I… at what I do,” Hawks stumbles, husky exhaustion ringing in his own voice. “Now, little dove, finish up work, and I promise there’ll be a surprise waiting for you when you’re done.”
Not entirely agreeing, but not disagreeing with his command to go finish you last… two and a half hours at work, you begrudgingly said goodbye to Hawks before washing your hands and exiting the bathroom.
When five o’clock came, you watched as your phone screen lit up, and your face flushed as you read the DM from Hawks.
Hawks:
this is my fav audio now
↳ hawks_littledove.mp3
but you surprised me today, so in case u ever want to have more fun sometime
call me 03-9183-2495 ;)
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A good role model
Hello! Thanks to @amalianetwork for helping me out with this story. Its a bit shorter than what I usually post on here, but it struck some heart strings inside of me. I hope you enjoy it.
Twitter | Blog
“Come on Matt! We’re going to be late for the festival!”
The excited shrieks came from a young child not older than ten years of age. His wavy blonde hair was encased in a blue baseball cap, and he was wearing an old button shirt. He was grabbing the hand from an older young man, pulling him forward with haste. Both boys looked very alike, age being the most differentiating factor between them.
“Ease up Cole, your number starts at seven. There’s plenty of time.”
“Yes, but I want to rehearse one time before the show. Mrs. Davis said all kids in our class had to meet an hour before to practice our song”
Matt advanced reluctantly, feeling uneasy in his attempt at formal attire. He adjusted his badly-knotted tie and tried his best in accommodating his oversized shirt. But he knew it was a necessary sacrifice, because this was supposed to be Cole’s “big night”. He would do anything for his little brother, even if it meant dressing as a buffon. The boys were rushing through the parking lot of the local theatre, amongst a sea of other families heading to the entrance. They entered the building and immediately headed backstage to deliver Cole to his class. Matt made sure his small bowtie was in place, but when he tried to take the cap from him, Cole swatted his hand away.
“Cole, you know you’ll get in trouble if you throw a fit over that cap again. All the kids in your class have to be dressed the same.”
Cole pouted and grabbed his head with both hands, securing it on his head.
“Please let me keep it. I’m scared to perform without it.”
“Okay you win. Just this one time though. You’re a big boy now, there are some rules you have to follow.”
“You’re the best Matt!”, said the little boy hugging his brother.
“Just remember to have lots of fun! I’ll be watching you from the front rows. And remember, once your act is over we gotta go.”
“That's not fair! Mrs. Davis is gonna take us all for pizza once the show is over.”
“I’m sorry C. You know Aunt Gertrude doesn’t like it when we go out late.”
“I don’t like Aunt Gertrude. She’s mean.”
Matt kept a straight face not to give a bad example, but he knew what his brother was talking about. Their aunt was a real menace sometimes. Especially when her rules were disobeyed.
“Don’t be like that buddy. Aunt Gertrude has been nice to us, so we have to obey the rules of her house. Besides, I’ll take you for pizza on the weekend. What do you say?”
“Yay! Thanks Matt. I’ll hurry up after the show, I promise. See you later!”
Cole then turned around and sprinted towards his group. Matt looked at his brother tenderly, remembering all they have gone through together. The blue cap was originally his, a gift from their father. They never had a lot to begin with, and after his parents were gone, the cap was one of the only mementos he had from them. He remembered hugging it terrified, as the police explained to him with gruesome detail for a twelve year old how his parents had been killed in a mugging. Cole had been only five at the time. Their aunt was their only living relative, so they were placed in her house. Cole couldn’t stop crying during the first night, so Matt gave him the blue cap and told him as long as he had it, his father would be there with him. Five years had passed, and the little boy still took the cap everywhere. Convincing Cole to take it off to wash it was a real hassle sometimes, but Matt managed. He was a good big brother after all.
Matt went to his seat and watched the recital in silence. Group after group they performed, excited families bursting in applause every time their kid went onstage. The young man was growing increasingly nervous, watching the minutes turn into an hour. The show was taking too long, which meant arriving at his aunt’s too late and having to deal with her wrath. He was lost in thought when suddenly Cole’s group was onstage. He cheered and applauded his little brother, who along with his classmates presented a potpourri of popular songs. He immediately recognized him due to the blue garment sticking out of the sea of white shirts. Once the number was done, he stood up from his seat and went to meet his brother backstage to take him to their aunt’s.
Their Aunt Gertrude was a solitary woman, preferring to live alone and far away from any other neighbor. The little house stood right at the edge of the woods, standing lonely amongst the dark trees. The car was parked on the driveway, so Matt knew immediately their aunt was home. He prepared mentally for the fit she was about to throw when she saw them coming in through the door. Once they made it inside, he sent Cole straight to his room and went into the living room, where his aunt was sitting on her usual chair watching TV.
“So, look who finally decided to show up. This isn’t a hotel you know.”, said the fat woman looking hatefully at the scrawny teenager.
“I know Aunt Gertrude. Cole had a school event he couldn’t miss, so we stayed out until late.”
The woman sneered at Matt, and then continued watching her show.
“You know misbehavior has consequences right? You were out past dinner time, so there won't be any dinner for you.”
Matt felt the rage coming up from his stomach. He disliked the woman a lot, but he knew she was the only reason the brothers were allowed to stay together. She knew that too, so she made sure to exploit that fact every time she could. He didn’t mind missing dinner, he was used to it. But Cole had to eat, or his stomach would hurt again and he wouldn't be able to sleep.
“I can miss out on dinner today and tomorrow if you want, but let Cole eat something. It was a tough day for him.”
“You should’ve thought that before breaking the rules. Rules are necessary, or else you will end up like your good for nothing dad. He got my sister killed, you know. Only a bad person does that.”
Matt tightened his fists so hard his nails dug into his skin causing some bleeding. His father was his aunt’s favorite subject, always belittling and berating him. But he was a good man, very hardworking. A real example for Matt. His only mistake was being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
“Don’t you dare talk about him…”, he grumbled quietly. His aunt let out a cruel cackle, and glared at him angrily.
“Or what? You are just like him, you know. A useless dead weight under my roof. But not for long. You got one more night. After that, you’re turning into an adult, which means you gotta earn yourself a life.”
Matt had been so busy with his brother that he had completely forgotten about his birthday the day after. His aunt had been telling him she was going to kick him out that same day, but he always thought she said that only to intimidate him. Thinking about leaving Cole with that monster alone sent a chill down his spine.
“Are you serious?”
“Do I look like I’m joking you little asshole? As soon as you’re eighteen, you’re legally not my problem anymore. Besides, it’s good you learn how the world works. Not that your father ever taught you that. In fact, I think Cole was lucky to grow up without his bad example!”, said the woman laughing loudly. “Now, better get your shit ready. I’m calling farmer Joe tomorrow to see if he has some job for you. If you’re lucky he might even let you stay in the barn with the rest of his boys. Now, get out of my sight. My next show’s about to start.”
Matt just turned around and left completely speechless, hearing the loud music from the TV and his aunt laughing as he went upstairs to his room. Cole was already showered and wearing his pajamas, the blue cap still on his head. Matt sat down next to him on his bed, trying to keep his composure and not burst into tears.
“Listen Cole, I have to tell you something,'' he said, his voice faltering as he struggled to find the right words. “You know tomorrow is my birthday, right?”
“Of course! I wouldn’t forget. I even wrote it in my calendar to get you some chocolate.”, he said excitedly before realizing he just ruined the surprise. “Oh no, I just ruined your present.”
“No buddy, it's okay. You know I love chocolate.”, said Matt grabbing the little boy’s head. “But listen, tomorrow I’ll be eighteen. And that's a very special number. So special, that people invite you to participate in certain activities!”
“What do you mean?”, asked Cole with a puzzled look on his face.
“Well, farmer Joe has invited me to his special club on his land, so I’m very excited I can go now. There’s only one small problem, I have to go sleep there too so I can do everything the guys there do.”
Cole just stared at his brother, tears welling up behind his eyes.
“You’re gonna leave?”
“Don’t be sad buddy. This is a great opportunity for me! Besides, I’ll come to visit you every day, I promise.”
Cole threw himself at Matt, his little arms embracing him as strong as they could. Tears ran down his rosy cheeks, and he could barely articulate the words due to the knot in his throat.
“But I don’t want you to go! I don’t want to be alone in this house. I’m scared.”
“I know buddy, I know.”, said Matt hugging his little brother. “But listen, remember what I told you about that cap? As long as you have it, dad’s going to be here with you. And so will I.”
Both brothers embraced for hours, refusing to let each other go. Cole cried until he fell asleep, so Matt tucked him into bed and waited until it was late enough to go down and steal some food for the boy. His aunt went to bed just before midnight, so he had to wait until she was gone to go to the pantry. He was almost falling asleep when he heard the TV going off, and the heavy steps of his aunt going into her room. He hesitantly stepped out of their bedroom, and swiftly went down to get some food for Cole. His body was very light, so that helped him move silently on the wooden floor. He brought up some snacks, leaving them on Cole’s night table, completely missing the clock just striking midnight.
He went to the bathroom to get ready for bed. Taking off the horrible oversized shirt he stared at himself in the mirror. He was practically just skin and bones, lacking the proper nutrition and exercise for a good development during puberty. His dirty blonde hair was pulled back on a bun, looking just a shade darker than his brother’s. His aunt was right, he was pathetic, scrawny and weak. Barely a fitting example for Cole. But he didn’t want his brother to grow up without him. It was already bad enough he had to grow up without a dad, only to have his big brother be taken away too. He wished that both of them could stay together. That he was enough for his little brother, so he could provide him with the life he deserved.
The lights in the bathroom flickered, and the window was suddenly opened by a strong gust of wind, startling Matt. He started to get lightheaded, grabbing the small sink to prevent himself from falling. “It’s probably hunger”, he said to himself. But the more seconds passed, the worse he felt. He started sweating cold, drops falling down his face and his pale body. He watched a shadow creep over his skin, thinking he was starting to faint from starvation. When he raised his hand to touch the darkness, rough bristles greeted his fingertips. He was growing hair, all over his body. He watched it get longer and thicker, a thick mat covering his chest, and crawling down his flat stomach painting a thick treasure trail on his skin. Tufts of hair poked out from under his arms, his sparse armpit hair getting far denser. The shadow then climbed up his neck, fully flourishing on his face to form a short beard. Matt felt its roughness with the palm of his hand, fully enthralled by the sensation.
He then felt his bones elongate, shooting him a few inches towards the roof and lengthening his limbs. He looked like that creature slender-something kids were so obsessed about. Once his skeleton finished its growth, the muscles followed suit. He felt incredible heat emanating from his body, as each muscle twitched and grew to enormous size. Size packed on his chest, fully forming two massive pillow-like pecs sticking out from his torso. His cleavage was so deep he could probably put his entire thumb in it, and probably crush it too if he squeezed hard. Muscle packed on his shoulders as well, growing like two bowling balls. It made him look monstrously wide, fully condemning him to a life of having to go through doors sideways. His arms surged with power and grew as well, fully surpassing the width his legs had before. Thick hairy pythons hung to each side of him, resting at an angle due to the thickness of his triceps. His back then rounded out like a shield and expanded into a hairy muscular landscape. The lats were so big they looked like the could fall off of him at any moment.
He heard his stomach grumble, as it blew forward sticking out just a few inches behind his chest. Thick abs could be seen on the curve of his belly. His ass blew his dress pants into oblivion, each cheek swelling like a Christmas turkey. The legs followed suit, thickening into titanic proportions, powerful enough to sustain such a heavy top. Even his feet grew a few sizes, fully completing his transformation. Matt just stared at his new body speechless, feeling control over each fiber. He flexed his big arms, and bounced his heavy chest. A deep chuckle left his throat, and he realized his voice grew much deeper as well. He was so entertained by his new figure, he missed the clumps of hair falling from his head. His hair thinned out a little bit, and shortened itself into a clean cut, contrasting with its previous unkempt image.
Matt looked like a new man. His kid used to tell him he looked the size of a barn, just like that Disney song he liked from the film with the talking furniture. He was very bad with names, but he knew what movies his son liked. Matt scratched his head, confused by the thought of having a child. He was only eighteen, barely old enough to have a kid. But a body like this couldn’t belong to a young kid. A body like this took years of dedication, of pain and sweat, of discipline. He looked like the perfect dad, strong enough to protect, and big enough to climb over like a jungle gym. Matt smiled looking at himself in the mirror. His features changed and rearranged themselves into those of a masculine man. His nose was bigger and his brow stuck further out. Even a cleft formed on his now square jaw. He looked tough, but also lovable.
The maelstrom of memories fully blew Matt’s mind away, turning him into a perfect dad. He felt his dick snake up under his belly, and his balls drop lower and heavier like a mature plume, virile enough to spread his seed wherever he wanted. The rush of testosterone triggered more changes in him. His muscles got denser, more lived in. Crow feet printed themselves next to his eyes, and his skin got rougher fully aging two full decades.
“I’m one sexy motherfucker.”, grunted Matt, flexing before the mirror. He dedicated years of hard work and discipline to his body, and it showed. He loved the tight feeling of a shirt about to burst due to his titanic arms, or how the buttons popped open on their own due to his heavy chest. But even his glorious physique wasn’t his most valuable treasure. That was his son.
Reality rearranged itself around Matt, as memories of Cole growing up with him changed into those of a father raising his son. He remembered how tiny he looked when he held him in his arms, or how scared he looked when Matt dropped him in kindergarten for the first time. He remembered the recitals, the little league games, the birthday parties, the nights with Cole on his bed due to a nightmare, the camping trips. Everything he did, and had, was for his son. He was happy to grow up next to him, so he could teach him about the same hard work and discipline he put into his own life. Hopefully, Cole would grow up to be a good man like his father. And with those genes, hopefully big and strong too.
When Matt came back to his senses, he was standing in a nicely furnished bathroom. He adjusted the glasses on his face, and checked himself one last time before going out. The short sleeved shirt looked perfectly fitted to his big body, his arms almost ripping the tight sleeves apart. He came out of the bathroom to find the luxurious interior of a suburban home. He wanted his kid to have all his necessities covered. The memory of the tiny house in the woods and the monster within fully erased from existence.
“Come on Cole, you don’t wanna miss out on a good pizza, do you?”, he shouted, his deep bass shaking the foundations of the house.
“I’m coming dad!”
Young Cole came rushing down the stairs. His blonde hair shined brighter, and his blue eyes sparkled with excitement. He took his coat and headed towards the front door, where his dad was waiting for him. Matt noticed the small blue cap on the little table next to the door.
“Aren’t you gonna wear your cap?”, he said, handing it to his son. Cole just smiled at his dad, and turned the cap away.
“I’m not scared anymore dad. I don’t need it.”
Matt just smiled and opened the door for Cole. The happy family then headed out into the sunshine to live the rest of their lives together. Nothing would be able to separate them.
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About the Boueibu iceberg
@delphoxqueen asked me to explain about my list for the iceberg so here it is. I might update this from time to time with links and stuff if I stumble across the original posts. This is all from what I know so feel free to add new info. Also, spoiler warning for RobiHachi and the Boueibu manga and novels. (This is like a masterpost it’s very long)
1. There’s a theory in tumblr about which decade the series is set in, using data like the friday the 13th calendar in s2 ep11. In HK we got a second number for when the next monthly Pretty Boy Contest was happening and using the one from Love it was theorized that around a decade had passed since then, which ended up being true.
2. The stage play had a few original songs and characters exclusive to it so unless you watched the full performance, you probably weren’t able to witness all of them. One of the characters is called “Robato Deniro”, as romanized in the stage play booklet I own.
3. The nurse and the cafeteria staff from the s1 mobile game appear in the background in around the first half of s2 ep3.
4. S2 had an unfinished manga that was only available online and was never released on physical format; it was centered around the defense club and sometimes the conquest club and Beppu brothers. All that’s left from what I know are the scans linked on magicalgirlsandcerulean’s blog.
5. This isn’t that obscure because it’s talked about in the anime, but I’m mentioning it because I think many people dropped it before the ova, where right at the beginning it is revealed that the alien that resucitated Mr. Tawarayama twice was, as described by Io, a “mulberry-colored naked mole rat-looking thing”, and was nicknamed “Moley-san” by Yumoto. At least in the anime, we had never heard before of who this was and it never appeared on screen nor was mentioned again.
6. In HK ep8, Karurusu promises the knights to grant a wish if they show him how earthlings spend summer. Kyoutarou reveals at the end of the episode that he wished that summer lasted one more day so he could spend it doing nothing, which prompts Ichiro to theorize that it’s the 32nd of august, and the next day is the second 1st of september.
7. The stage play was was held from march 10th to 13rd, of which the latter is Ryuu’s birthday. There’s an additional recording of a small celebration with cake focused on Ryuu and Io.
8. Atsushi mentions his older sister in the flashback at the beginning of s1 ep4, but she never appears or is mentioned again.
9. There’s a few posts on tumblr theorizing about what happened to the Hakone parents since Yumoto only says in s2 ep3 that according to Gora, “they are busy with their hot springs tour”. En mentions that it’s a bit suspicious, but it’s all the information we have from the anime. Posts talk about the parents perhaps passing away from an accident or an illness, thus the reason why Gora was so worried about Yumoto’s cold in s1 ep10, but from another post I think it’s implied in the second novel that they actually left their home when Yumoto was still a toddler.
10. It’s no secret that the surnames of the characters are all real onsens in Japan that even the seiyuus have visited, but apparently the Arima onsen has two different kinds of water, “kinsen (gold hot spring)” and “ginsen (silver hot spring)”, with different properties each, and the Kusatsu onsen water also has certain properties, both that were used to build the characters. Additionally, Ryuu’s favorite food are Sato Nishiki cherries, which are grown in the same prefecture, Yamagata, as his onsen, Zaou.
11. The press club lose relevance after s1, with only Kinosaki and Tazawa reappearing briefly in s2 ep2 to interview the Beppu twins after they arrive at the school. Tazawa doesn’t even have lines. Hireashi is mentioned by Zundar in ep11.
12. What the heck
13. Exclusively in the manga we see that Arima met Kinshiro and Atsushi when they were little and they were good friends, but when they met again as adults, Kinshiro seemingly didn’t remember Arima. Atsushi, however, stated that Kinshiro’s talent is remembering people’s faces and names, so Arima wonders if he’s just trying to distance himself from him. He also explains to Akoya that he follows Kinshiro and obeys him because as a child, he was fascinated by his radiant smile. This is never talked about in the anime.
14. Like the previous point, the anime never shows Akoya being bullied, at most just a slight dislike of his full name, but the manga shows that he was made fun of for it and how he actually hates his surname, to the point of introducing himself formally to the president and vicepresident of the student council as “Holy Angel Akoya”.
15, 16, 17, 19. Batonama lives were the livestreams done through the franchise by the defense club seiyuus on youtube and niconico. They’re all on youtube, without any kind of translation.
Love-ko is a girl with a shell bikini drawn on a piece of cardboard that was used as a girlfriend in the Batonama Love! lives, acted by the seiyuus themselves.
RobiHachi has one episode full of official Boueibu artwork and a parody of the series too, a Love-ko doll appears, and Wombat appears as well, named “The Don”. It received an english dub, so for a bit, people were excited that Wombat was going to speak in english too. Also, various mechas appear in both Boueibu and RobiHachi.
18. The director of Fairy Ranmaru (Masakazu Hishida if I’m not wrong) revealed in an interview that he was inspired by Boueibu and aimed to make a show like that.
20, 21. The website super-groupies.com has results for defense and conquest club lingerie sets, dc and VEPPer tote bags, the Beppus’ scarf rings, dc bath sets and the pumps magicalgirlsandcerulean mentioned. I’ve found the s1 Loveracelets and Caerula Adamas’ ring on different sites, the True Loveracelets on TheChara’s twitter and the Happybraces (apparently called “Hapibure”) on broccoli.co.jp but I’m not sure where exactly they were all announced and sold, so I’ll just drop that.
22, 33. Boueibu was originally pretty much a copy of Sailor Moon, I think they were all going to be called “Lackluster Moon” and that stuff and be literally Sailor Moon genderbent. They were all different from color palettes to physical features (except Yumoto’s), and Ryuu was a shota, even smaller than Yumoto. Their names were also very reminiscent of the five Sailor Senshis’. Even if they made it more original, the show is still clearly inspired by Sailor Moon (just look at Caerula Adamas lol) and Pretty Cure. It has also referenced, very blatantly, animes like Doraemon, Detective Conan, Aikatsu and even Vocaloid, when Kyoutarou tries to guess what Karurusu is saying with ““Just Google It, Asshole”?” in ep1.
23. Wombat’s real name and the name of his planet sound like gibberish to the earthlings and ends up being named after the Earth animal, but Zundar, Dadacha, Karurusu and Furanui all have original names. And I think Hireashi means “goldfish”?
24. If you google “zundar technology”, it’s actually a company in Shanghai, China. Aren’t Wombat and Zundar always talking about “advanced alien technology”?
25. Zundar and Dadacha are siblings, so are Karurusu and Furanui, and so are their father King Kamopapa and their uncle minister Wao, but neither are the same species and, except the first two, not even the same color. But they are supposedly related because they share birthmarks or something like that...
26. Everyone who’s in this fandom knows about the pixel blur and voice pitch censor from s1, but I’ve added it anyway because it’s so rare for mahou shoujo and shounen animes to explain why the heroes aren’t recognized when transformed.
27. A good while of s2 ep11 is spent discussing Zundar’s ex-wife and his problems to give child support. Naturally, he gets mad at this.
28. “Money doesn’t betray” (s1 ep6) and “The despair hidden behind your smile that comes from not being understood” (s3 ep11) are sentences that came out of nowhere and implied that the people they were said by (Io) or about (Taiju) respectively had some kind of angst going on but were never explained at all. They’re famous for just that.
29. The Beppu twins’ house in Andromeda shown in flashbacks had strange green circles that apparently are from another anime I don’t know but honestly I didn’t get it very well... It was revealed on a tweet from Takamatsu.
30. Alien language mostly appeared in s2 due to the many flashbacks of Aki and Haru in Andromeda, but in Boueibu s1, it appears on the Zundar Needle before it is shot on the human. It appears a lot through RobiHachi as well, due to being a story about travelling through space. There might be an alphabetical chart somewhere, but I can’t assure it exists, I might even have dreamed it.
31. Hikaru Midorikawa as the melon monster, Kousuke Toriumi as the bishounen monster, Yoshitsugu Matsuoka as the kotatsu and panda monsters and Takuya Eguchi as the remote controller monster in s1 and 2, before going on to voice the main cast in HK. Keisuke Koumoto voiced Hatchi Kita in RobiHachi as well as Akihiko in Boueibu, and the characters look similar.
A new addition is that so far Boueibu is the only anime I’ve seen where children weren’t voiced by female seiyuus, but by actual children. Personally, it’s charming and makes it so much more realistic, specifically since no women appear in the franchise at all either (not counting Protag-chan in the game).
32. Speaking of seiyuus, Can I Destroy The Earth? had a dub shown in ep11/12 (?) that made Gora the villain that wanted Earth to stay the same and not progress, against the monsters that supposedly wanted to bring good things to earthlings. Aki and Haru quickly dismissed this dub as fake. (I made a mistake in the title in the previous post btw)
34. As seen in the glossary in the Boueibu Mook (I think, but might not be the mook), Caerula Adamas’ speeches are based on an old japanese detergent commercial that went “Gold, silver, pearl, gift”.
35. In the manga there’s a short parody of the first chapter of Sailor Moon with “Pretty Boy Guardian Gakuran Akoya”. The conquest club manga was released before the anime, so I remember reading somewhere that a fake website appeared for the Gakuran Akoya manga, before turning into the conquest club manga website in the day of its release.
36. Cgi was used a few times in the anime: s2 ep10 for a short sequence of the defense club on a rollercoaster and the carousel monster, ep11 for a cenital shot of the Battle Lovers singing, and HK ep12 for the Honyalaland soldiers and the Wao mecha.
37. The toothbrush incident in s1 ep7. (It’s definitely well-known but it’s so weird lol)
38. “We hope we can see each other again someday!” Something along those lines was the last text to appear in the last episode of HK, implying a s2. We all know how that went.
#boueibu#new post bc i didn't put a readmore in the other one and it was getting too long#msorry#long post#speaking of the robihachi eng dub... sarazanmai has one too...#so many animes like those get dubs but not boueibu?! HOW UNFAIR#at least we got the funimation subs#is the game even canon??#i mean with stuff like how everyone is apparently straight in there#even yumoto who pretty much came out as gay in the anime#that's very inconsistent#i mean. it is canon but maybe it's like an au? idk#also we need gakuran akoya to be real lmao#also no prequel with gora or hk s2. WHYYYY#i think this took me four hours
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Alpha Wolves
content warning: swearing, mild violence
Marcus yawned, his jaw cracking, and shook out his pants. It had been a long night, helping two pups with their first change. They were already packed into their parents’ SUVs, fast asleep, and on the way to their homes. In a few months they would be good to join a pack. It wasn’t always as simple with new shifters, but those two each had a parent who was one as well. Even at eight and ten, they knew a fair amount of what it meant to be a lycanthrope.
Dressed in sweats and a light cotton long-sleeved shirt, he ran a hand over his jaw and sighed. Full moon changes always made his hair grow. Even though he’d been clean-shaven before the change, he had what felt like two-days of growth now. Shaggy hair didn’t bother him nearly as much as a beard did, though by the end of the three days he’d need to get that trimmed as well.
He padded barefoot into the little cabin that served as his base of operations while helping new shifters and started a pot of coffee brewing. He hated the stuff, but it would be at least a couple hours before he could head home to sleep, so he needed something to keep him awake.
While it percolated, he checked his phone. Three emails from work, two from the pack, and some spam. He’d just opened the first email when the phone rang.
“Porter Consulting.”
“Mr. Porter, it’s Deputy Palerma from the EKSD,” a male with a pleasant tenor said.
East Keddol was a small town several miles from Hapburgh, the city Marcus lived and worked in. It was in the interesting position of being almost perfectly between Hapburgh pack territory and Redview pack territory. Surprisingly few places fell into the odd in-between spaces between packs, and, as far as he knew, no one had developed any specific protocols for dealing with them.
“How can I help you today, Deputy?”
“We have a shifter—twenty-three-year-old male—who attacked his friends when he shifted for the first time. Miss Davidson recommended I call you.”
Kaelyn Davidson did for the Redview pack what Marcus did for the Hapburgh one. She was, if he remembered correctly, also a month or two out from giving birth. Handling an adult shifter who’d already hurt people was probably not high on her list of ways to spend her time.
“I see. Is your new shifter awake?”
“No. We had to hit him with a tranq to be able to bring him in. He’s changed back, but hasn’t woken up yet.”
Marcus snorted. Safety Departments were, mostly, better than the old police system, but sometimes they were still a little too trigger happy. At least it was a tranquilizer dart instead of a clip of bullets. “I’ll send someone to pick him up. He’s going to wake up before they get there, and he’s going to be cranky and hungry.”
“I’ve taken the class on shifters, Mr. Porter,” Deputy Palerma said, sounding offended. “There is a post-shift recovery kit in the fridge.”
He stifled a sighed. “If that’s all you have, that’s fine, but it would be better if the new shifter could get freshly made food. Eggs, nuts, oats, cottage cheese or Greek yogurt, and pumpkin seeds are best. Avoid meat, if possible, especially red meat.”
“I thought shifters need protein the morning after?”
“We do, and the foods I listed are all high protein items. New shifters can find meats to be… an issue at first. As I’m not able to speak with your young man at present, it’s better to be cautious.”
There was a moment of silence on the line before Palerma said, “Alright. Who will be coming, and when should we expect them?”
“It’ll depend on who is free.”
“Can’t you just tell someone to do it? You’re the alpha, aren’t you?”
Marcus had to grit his teeth to keep from groaning. That damn study from the 40s. “That’s not quite how things work. All pack members have proper ID.”
“Fine,” he said, the word ending with an annoyed click of his tongue.
“Thank you. Someone will be there between 10:30 and noon.”
Once they’d said their farewells, Marcus sent out a quick message through the pack’s group chat.
New shifter, East Keddol holding, possible alpha complex. Any takers?
He set the phone down and poured himself a cup of coffee, adding enough cream and sugar to make it mostly palatable, before settling on a stool at the tiny kitchen’s bar-height table. He’d drunk half the cup before a chime indicated he’d gotten a response. Two more chimes rang out before he’d picked the phone back up.
Eddie: I’m free but never handled an alpha complex b4 wdin2k?
Ksenia: lol take a muzzle
Julianne: y can’t the Reds take em?
Marcus rubbed the bridge of his nose, sighed, and replied: Kaelyn’s 8 mo. Pregnant. Take the green SUV, put him in the back, and keep the divider up.
Eddie: is it that dangerous?
Thomas: alpha-complexers are just assholes
Julianne: TOM! There are CHILDREN in this chat
Thomas: no regrets!
Marcus temporarily turned notifications off for the group chat, replied to the most important of the work emails, set up reminders for the other two, then headed for the cabin’s futon. By the time he’d make it to his apartment in the city, he’d barely have any time to sleep before he’d need to head back out to meet the new shifter. So he’d nap on the futon and feel stiff for most of the afternoon.
#
A little after 2pm, the rumbling and crunch of a vehicle coming up the gravel drive to the cabin announced the arrival of Eddie and the new shifter. Marcus set aside his laptop and headed out to the porch to greet them. He was still barefoot and wearing sweats and the long-sleeved shirt, but he’d run a trimmer through the beard so he felt less like a back-woods mountain man.
The car had barely come to a complete stop before the back door opened and a young man stepped out with a glower. He was around average height, with enough muscle mass to indicate he worked out at least somewhat regularly. Dark blond hair hung to his shoulders and a thick beard wrapped his jaw—though whether that was a stylistic choice or the moon driven change accelerating his hair growth even more than it did for Marcus was unclear.
“You Marcus?” the young man demanded.
He raised an eyebrow, crossed his arms, and leaned against one of the porch supports. “I am. And you are?”
“Joseph.”
He nodded and shifted his gaze to Eddie, who’d stepped around to the front of the SUV. “How was the drive?”
Eddie shrugged, his gaze darting to Joseph and then away. “S’okay. Wouldn’t want to do it again, though.”
“Don’t blame you. Thanks for doing it, though. See you next week for a run, okay?”
His shoulders relaxed and he smiled. “Of course. Later, Marcus.”
Joseph scoffed. “Like he would be any good.”
Marcus shook his head and stepped down off the porch. He was a little shorter than the new shifter, though broader in the shoulders and with more muscle mass. “You will respect each and every member of our pack, or you’ll be sent to Palstead Institution. It is not a pleasant introduction to being a shifter.”
“Whatever, man. Just give me whatever stupid speech you’ve got so I can challenge you.”
“There will be no ‘challenging’ here.”
“Fuck that. I ain’t no submissive bitch.”
“What you do or don’t do in the bedroom has no relevance to this situation.”
Red flooded Joseph’s face a moment before he took a swing at Marcus. He’d obviously had a little bit of training, but the movement was still too big to be truly effective.
Marcus side-stepped and twisted a little so that he had more leverage as he placed a palm against Joseph’s arm and pushed. It wasn’t a big push, but the kid had overextended himself and it knocked him off balance enough to make him stumble. He took a step back and waited for the next attack he knew would be coming.
Joseph didn’t disappoint. He came up swinging wildly, rushing toward him as if he couldn’t decide whether to beat his face in or tackle him to the ground.
Marcus calmly deflected each blow, leading Joseph in a circle as he side-stepped and backed away from the attacks. Less than a minute later, Jospeh was panting and struggling to even come close to landing any blows.
“Have you finished with your temper tantrum, yet?” Marcus asked.
Joseph glared at him but stopped, bending over with hands on knees as he panted.
“You seem to be under the misunderstanding that pack members fight each other. Different packs rarely even fight each other.”
“How…how do you know who’s alpha, then?”
“There is no ‘alpha.’ Not the way you’re thinking, anyway.”
“What?”
Marcus sighed and took a seat on the ground. The grass was soft and, thanks to a sunny morning, contained no hint of dampness. After a moment’s hesitation, Joseph slumped down as well. “Pack is family. Would you pick a fight with your dad to try and take over the family?”
“No…”
He shrugged. “Picking a fight with a pack member makes about as much sense. We each have a role to play, and that role is based on our skills and personality and knowledge. Not on who we’re able to beat up.”
“Aren’t we wolves? At least partly?”
“Yes. And that’s how wolves behave.”
Joseph stared at him blankly.
He sighed again. “Come inside. I’ll make you a tuna sandwich and you can read one of the brochures.”
Joseph followed him inside, silent, but with a simmering edge of anger beneath his exhaustion. Once the full moon was over and the forced changes weren’t sapping his energy, he would be a real pain in the ass if Marcus couldn’t nip the problem in the bud.
“Here,” he said, picking up a glossy tri-fold and handing it over. “Have a seat. Read. I’ll make the sandwiches.”
He settled onto a stool, shoulders hunched and brows drawn. “Why Alpha-Dog Theory is BS,” he read. “Seriously?”
“Mhm,” Marcus replied. “Some of the pack wanted to title it It’s Not Your Inner Wolf, You’re Just an Asshole, but that seemed a bit confrontational.”
“… Oh.”
“Mhm.”
(Moon-Bound - part 2)
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Beta Tester
Kozume Kenma X Reader
-YN LN is a popular mangaka
Chapter 16: Stage
Seeing you running towards him made Kenma frown.
"Kenma!" You waved. "Thank you for not leaving yet!"
Ignoring you he continued to walk towards the direction of the stage.
You pouted and crossed your arms. "You know... As sorry as I am for that kiss I really don't regret it."
Jogging up in front of him with a shit eating grin, you positioned yourself in front of him where he'd have no choice but to look at you while you looked at him. His ears were slightly red without a doubt but who were you kidding yours were too.
Kenma cleared his throat, "Good for you then. Now get out of the way so I could get out of here. "
"And honestly I liked that kiss." You continued determined to see him flustered again. "Your lips were soft and I bet my ass you're a great kisser. I rate you 10/10 would do it again."
With a glare he looked at you straight in the eyes, "So do it pussy." Then went ahead before you could see the red settling on his face.
"I- Wh- Excuse me- Wh- Huh? K-Ken- Kenma!!" You squeaked as you chased after him.
"I said what I said."
You finally caught up to him when he was about to climb the stairs towards the stage. Luckily(?) you also have to go up with him.
"Ehh... Where's the flustered Kenma? I wanted to see you all blushy and panicked. You looked so adorable. I don't want hot daddy Dom Kenma. I want cute baby sub Kenma..."
As he was halfway up the stairs your height gap grew and he was way over you. He just looked down on you, leaning closer the gap barely existent he smirked.
"Too bad." Then turned away.
There were a handful of people who saw the scene. Which made you more embarrassed. Holy shit you acted all alpha online only to be dominated by a hermit named Kozume Kenma.
Boy were you happy. You'd happily submit to him.
"Let us all welcome the two people who made the game possible! YN LN and Kozume Kenma!!"
You might be confused why you two were the ones going and why you were introduced like that.
As you are the creator of Puri-Puri you of course are the reason why this game existed.
But Kenma came here as he's the biggest investor, the face of the game and no one else wanted to go. So yeah...
As you two came up the stage you were just wishing the blush from the scene a few moments ago. The cameras flashed and claps were heard.
"Shit the media is here..." You mumbled.
"Your surprised, why?" Kenma gave you an amused and disappointed look. No idea how he managed to do that but he did.
"Shut the fuck up. I just got a feeling the questions won't be about the game thanks to the media."
"So you do think sometimes..."
"You want me to hit you?"
A clearing of throat behind you stopped your argument. It was Akaashi handing you both microphones to be clipped on you [I'm sorry I dont know what they're called] .
"Good luck, don't do and say anything stupid. And remember this is the release of PPM's demo." He reminded and got off the stage.
"Good evening to you all! I hope you've been having a great time!" I started.
"We'd like to thank you again for attending the release of PPM's demo."
"Now of course the game is yet to be played but from the trailer that was shown, I hope you had enjoyed it since the game is going to be much better than the trailer!"
"I'm sure you all must've questions as well. That's why Me and your idi-- dear author will answer."
"You definitely were about to call me idiot." You frowned at him.
He smirked and shrugged. "I have not a slightest idea what you mean."
"You're the worst."
Ignoring you... Again. He motioned at one of the reporters to probably ask their question.
"Ms. LN, as the initial plot of the Puri-Puri Magika is about [REDACTED], and the trailer we saw have quite a large difference from one another only having the universe in similarty. Is it just the universe of the similar one to the manga? "
"Of course the plot would be different. It disappoints me quite a bit that none of you realized how they're connected aside from the universe. Well, I don't really want to spoil you but if you actually read the Manga and saw the trailer," You gave a proud smirk. "Everyone that was a fan of PPM in the team were ecstatic. They were all just-" You mimicked a mind blown. "They were so excited about the game and a those."
"Thank you Ms. LN."
"Next please."
"Mr. Kozume," the next one called. "You were neither a fan of YN, nor PPM, why did you decide to not only beta test the game but sponsor and invest big sum of money on the game."
"We--"
"No wait ! I want to answer some of those questions!" You cut off cackling. "The one about him investing and him beta testing! It's actually an annoying and Hella funny story."
"No I was a--"
"Shut up you'll probably lie."
"Shut up." Kenma now had his ears red. "Don't you--"
"He was the biggest asshole back then!"
"Stop talking."
"He fucking beta tested despite not knowing shit about PPM because it was the biggest game. And he just banwagoned on it like a bitch he was."
"I did not. I had some clues about you Manga."
"You did not know shit about PPM cut yo bullshit. You didn't even know who the MC was!"
"Shut up."
"That's why he beta tested! Now the reason why he invested is really hilarious!"
"I really hate this story..."
"This was the reason why Kenma became Bae too! We didn't know shit about how to contact Kenma, we only had his email address and his social media. Keep that in mind. "
"So since he didn't know shit about PPM he really couldn't care about the plot and just looked for bugs and shit. He wasn't even aware of the bugs in the plot since he didn't know which what was supposed to be part of the plot and not. This bitch ass decided there wasn't any bugs anymore so we went with that. But then we had to play it and saw a shit ton of bugs."
"I said there were some bugs don't make me seems so stupid."
"You didn't even inform us about the glitch at the time skip part! That could've ruined the entire thing! Anywayz, so we had to code the game again. So we emailed him that there were way too many bugs other than what he told us so the next testing would be later. But the asshole never replied. And since I was the one entasked to guide this bitch ass, I had to flood his email! And he didn't respond! Not once! It had been DAYS! I send him at least 20 emails everyday! I have up on the 3-4th day and DMed him on Twitter."
"I really hate this part."
"No. No. This is the best part. Do y'all remember that one trending #KodzuGone started by Tenma? It's because, this asshole never responded to our emails so I DMed him all the shit important shit in the emails. Then this bitch fucking blocked me! I fucking rante to Tenma and he canceled Kenma like he deserved to! I was panicking about it since Mr. Suzumiya told me that Kenma could be a potential investor if he wanted. And I needed cash... "
"Do not call me that publicly. You are disgusting."
"He went full sugar daddy on me!" You cackled. "His entire squad had betrayed him! They were canceling him so he just fucking slid into my DMs apologizing about the shit he did and I told him, bitch I'm coming over there and see you play this fucking game or I will not stop this canceling and make it worse. So he was forced to telll me his address and I'm not sure if yall saw the live but it was hot shit. The next day he bought all the copies of PPM at this one store and gave them to me and then he invested shit ton of money on my on going works, bought me a new tablet, paid my Keiji bills, and many other shit. Yall would die to have him as sugar daddy I'm telling you. Ya don't even have to give him sugar for the treats. "
"That was the biggest mistake I made."
"Awwe, but thanks to that we're closer than ever. "
"Exactly my point."
"Thank you for answering Ms. LN."
"I hate you so much." Kenma sighed pinching the bridge of his nose.
"No you don't. Admit it you love me."
"I really don't. Next question please."
"A-Ah, my initial question was actually answered in the previous question. It about your live. Now my question is, Ms LN and Mr. Kozume, is your relationship really a platonic one or a romantic one? "
"Okay, babe," You chuckled. "my man won't even let me breathe the same air he does. Ya think we're dating?"
"Well your right."
"What?"
"Excuse me?"
"Huh?! " You exclaimed a little louder than you thought since the mic made a loud noise.
"The relationship we have is both platonic and romantic. As labels aren't placed we share a romantic relationship." Kenma smirked.
You looked at him and the crowd with a clear eminent blush. "I-I I- Wh-"
Pulling you closer to him and turning around so the crowd won't see you both. He lowered the mic to prevent them from hearing.
"I wanted to see you all blushy and panicked . You look adorable." He whispered to your ear before facing the crowd again who were now going crazy over what Kenma had just confirmed.
"Y-You're an asshole..."
"Yeah, an asshole who..." lowering his mic again he leaned to your ear. "Still has your favorite onsie at his place. You really shouldn't have left it at my place. I'm so tempted to burn it."
"You leave my onsie alone! I will drown your consoles."
"With that threat, you're suddenly stripped of your house visit privileges."
"W-Why would you say we're dating?!"
"I didn't. I just said we both share a romantic and platonic relationship with no labels. I technically didn't lie too."
"Why did you do this?"
"Aside from wanting to see you all flustered? I'm probably drunk." Kenma smiled and turned to the crowd again. "Next question please."
Previous | Masterlist | Next
I'm sorry lately there's been to many words and less pictures it's just that... Idk
Lol I'm sorry this was supposed to be smau but there's been too many words
Ooc Kenma is shit so I made him drunk
-kookie-doughs
Taglist?
@gayer-than-the-gayest-gay @synx-ed @normalisthenewnorm @0majuh0 @leachann @nikanikabitch @almondeupeach @immxnty @mer-majesty @yamayoomi @simpingoveranime-men @lostmarimoismyhubby @mariishat @just-snog-already
#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu!!#haikyuu-smau#hq smau#hq#x reader#haikyuu smau#hq!!#smau#kozume kenma#kenma smau#haikyuu kenma#kenma x reader#X reader
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Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E111 (Redux! Oct. 13, 2020)
Gooooood evening good evening good evening, all! I started the VOD late for this recap and somehow the first four or so minutes of the show have a Twitch audio copyright claim, so I am reduced to only reading Brian's lips when he asks if we're on the internet. Hilariously, Marisha's background room is a comfy-looking blue/gold fabric wall with a ceramic colorful abstract lamp and a yellow silk scarf over the lampshade, and Taliesin's is an industrial looking games room in grey and black with multiple monitors, overhead speakers, and mysterious metal fixtures behind him. What a treasure this group is, honestly.
Tonight's guests: Marisha Ray & Taliesin Jaffe, discussing episodes 110 and 111 again. I wildly speculate once more about what might have caused their absence: jury duty? Sam appearing on The Masked Singer? Something to do with the animated show? One day, we’ll know, one day... (One day this “copyrighted audio” section will come back from the wars, too. Ugh!) Finally! The audio comes back to reveal Brian discussing the endless reality of digital meetings and Marisha talking about (I think) her glare-reducing glasses she’s wearing. Welcome to the New Age (welcome to the New Age, to the New Age).
Announcements: Marisha suggests checking out Dimension20, another live tabletop gaming group, which premieres live on Wednesdays at 4pm (CollegeHumor).
Brian immediately wants to know how they feel about the revelation that Molly is alive. Taliesin’s personal reaction: he “knows some things” he can’t talk about and is aware of several possibilities that might be going on, but had a sneaking suspicion that there would not be a body for them to find. He says it’s almost all there for anyone to see in past material. Marisha’s personal reaction: she just wants to know how she’s doing with her theories, & was trying to block Tal’s face out deliberately as she was going off on her theories in the last episode. Taliesin says he thought her ideas were pretty good!
Cad has no clue what to think - it’s like listening to your friends talk about Buffy. Marisha thought it was a 50/50 Molly would still be there, but Beau had no idea. Not that it mattered, because as soon as Matt went through with it the reveal still blew their minds. Tal laid out his plans for the character with Matt during Campaign One (towards the end) after they all got their VM tattoos.
It is a “horrifying and gross” thing to dig up a body, and Beau was pretty reluctant to do it. Tal, as Cad: “Sometimes dead’s better.” The moral quandary of trying to speak with a dead friend was very different here than the frequent occasions they used the spell in C1.
Taliesin says his poker face is very bad, so it’s easier for him to over-react and let it all play out. The only other player he can see very easily from his place in their current setup is Travis, and because he knows Travis doesn’t watch TM, tweet, or participate in social media, he admits he thoroughly enjoyed watching Travis freak out at his freaking out. He says he only knew about 20% of what Matt described at the end of that episode. He was picking things to mug to increase Travis’s surprise. I love this so much.
Taliesin provided the table left leg shake; Travis provided table right. Ha!
Beau is really accepting her role in the Cobalt Soul. It’s good when “as a person, you feel like you can settle into your calling. Sometimes you can do more from the inside than fighting from the outside.” It’s a mirrored but opposite path of Keyleth from C1; Beau felt like she was too good for her duty, while Keyleth thought she wasn’t good enough.
Caduceus is not a big believer in jumping to conclusions. He does have an idea/notion of the “city of the undead” and thinks all this necrotic energy must come from somewhere, and wonders if this is the “capital of anti-death.” He’s willing to believe whatever he sees. This is one of the few things that trigger a bit of loathing and disgust in him. It was terrifying that the Wildmother didn’t know anything.
Beau is pretty confident in her Charlie Day impression laying-out-the-research last episode. She enjoyed taking the things that were known & extrapolating around them; this is a huge facet of Marisha’s own personality and she really enjoys it, so she built a character this time that would allow that kind of puzzle-solving. It’s also why she repeatedly notes when Beau journals, so she can avoid metagaming. Trent’s mention of Vess Durogna’s tomb raiding was completely circumstantial, and the only reason she’d made the connection to the Tombtakers was because she’d recently reviewed those notes for a separate unannounced project. Sometimes she tries to make connections and Matt is like, “It was...just descriptive. Just flavor. The curtains were red...” and she has to discard a paragraph of notes. She feels like it’s still something they have to do because of “look at what he does! Look! It’s totally valid!”
Cosplay of the Week: @kitsunstudios with a gorgeous Caduceus with a very intricate silk vest.
Caduceus’s takedown of Trent! One of my favorite moments in the entirety of C2. Taliesin felt Trent was an asshole; Caduceus felt sorry for him because of how dumb he thought he was. Caduceus’s response was "this is the dumbest man I’ve ever met in my life. He’s so dumb! Is nobody going to tell this guy how dumb he is? Oh, they’re all freaked out. Somebody needs to tell this guy he’s an idiot before somebody gets hurt.” (Marisha: “Before?”) Tal says it was the product of several years of therapy and many drunk conversations with Whitney Moore. It was from a genuine place of concern from Caduceus. “How are you allowed to have this much power and be that dumb?”
Brian loved how funny it was to watch everyone tiptoe around Trent and then Caduceus bulldoze through the end of the meal.
Taliesin: “Damage doesn’t make you interesting or better. It’s not what makes you good. Character isn’t found in damage. Just recovery.”
Brian & Marisha commiserate going through the stage where believing surviving something automatically made you a stronger person, better for the pain; instead it just meant you had to pick up the pieces after. Marisha talks about how strength through survival may be true for some people, but it shouldn’t be considered a necessity. Taliesin talks about how he used to think he had to be miserable to write. Brian talks about how believing he liked reading and writing miserable things only limited him for years.
Marisha feels it’s a C2 theme that almost all the PCs have someone trying to handwave or take credit for their accomplishments or explain their pain as being for their own good (Trent, Beau’s dad, Obann). She thinks it’s interesting to see all the various ways people try to take credit for your work/delegitimize you as a person. She loves that RPGs allow you to explore these odd moralities in interesting ways. The only way to fight it is to have a sense of your own self-worth, which is a problem a lot of the M9 started with.
Caduceus likes everyone, and really likes people who appear to need role models (Eodwulf). “With the right friends and the right bar and the right attitude, I think he’d be okay. Come over here where it’s so much better. That seems like an exhausting friendship that you have there.”
Marisha loves the mix of personalities in the M9; Veth, Cad, & Jester were all “we kind of like them!” after the dinner, and she immediately made eye contact with Travis and they both shook their heads. She knows Beau has to go along with it for Caleb’s sake for now, but she & Fjord are pretty sus of Trent’s proteges.
Beau is less concerned about Artagan’s relationship to Jester because “he showed his ass--she’s less worried about Jester now because a little of the magic is gone.” It’s a little like becoming an adult and realizing your parents are also just adults & human. Caduceus wasn’t suspicious of the Traveler for a long time until they got to the island. Aside: Taliesin loves the pantheon in D&D. “The notion of attempting to apply common Western conceptions of religion to a world where you have a pantheon of interventionist gods as baseline makes no sense to me. Everyone admits that every other god is there and doing shit; it has more in common with ancient Rome than anything else.” Now that he knows it was a con, he feels the wind had been taken out of it. He does have a sense that Jester’s gotten back together with an ex: “I hope that I’m really happy for you.” They’re both interested to see how Jester navigates the new relationship.
My internet goes out, of course. I panic for a second, thinking I’ve lost everything above, but all is well! Thanks, Form History Control addon!
Marisha loved punching Artagan, but regretting rolling so poorly. “I miss violence.” Dani lets us know it’s been about four episodes since the last battle.
There’s no way the Cobalt Reserve doesn’t have a single document on the Eyes of Nine. Beau believes “there are no real secrets” because people are just bad at not writing things down. For there to be no information at all seems really suspicious for her.
Fanart of the Week: @oddalchemist on twitter with some awesome Beau conspiracy red-thread boards overlaid a distant shadowy Molly walking away.
Caduceus feels a little guilty for really enjoying his time right now with the M9 and not wanting to go home. He’s starting to suspect that he’s going to go home very different than when he left. “He has the softest problems. I don’t know if I want to move back in with Mom & Dad.”
Beau is trying to get comfortable with the idea of being happy. Jester is probably Beau’s first real best friend & one of the first healthy female friendships she’s ever had. As long as she still has Jester in her life, she doesn’t care. For Yasha... “At the end of the day, Beau is a lonely person and has always been a lonely person. And I think you kinda reach this point where once you’re not lonely anymore, you can kind of come out of the fog and realize that was horrible! And terrifying! And is even more terrifying now that I know what I could have, and I don’t want to go back to that. At the end of the day Beau doesn’t want to be lonely anymore. There’s always been that flirtation with Yasha, but everyone had to figure their own shit out. And now it feels like it’s coming out a little bit of that haze, maybe this actually could be...” There are a lot of ways they complement each other & are good-different from each other. Marisha believes people can be attracted to more than person at once.
Caduceus doesn’t think nature turned against him on Rumblecusp, it was just a reality of nature being dangerous and violent. “He has a complex relationship with nature.” He doesn’t expect special treatment.
Thoughts on the mansion: “Man, it’s nice to be seen.” Marisha: “I don’t know how I ended up becoming the Scanlan of this campaign, but I’m living for it.” It felt like an echo of “I’m better for having known you.” They compare Marisha taking specific notes on the campaign to Liam taking specific notes on people’s favorite tapestries, comics, etc.
They talk about missing theme parks and daydream a park version of the mansion in CritRoleLand. It’s lovely.
Taliesin never expected Divine Intervention to work; he just wanted to roll some dice. He’s still processing what he saw/heard. They all agree it was very useful in the Vokodo fight.
Vilya! Marisha: “Ah! Ah! Ah!” As a player, Marisha was so deep in Beau’s eyes she didn’t pick up it was Vilya at first (especially since Matt really emphasized they should not be looking for C1 NPCs). Marisha’s brain melted. She bawled her eyes out on the ride home after that episode. Right after it ended, Laura told Marisha “Keyleth finally gets her happy ending,” and it makes Marisha emotional again since Keyleth’s story ended so bittersweetly. She talks about the very real feelings of “just wanting them to be happy, though!” She went back and listened to all her old Keyleth playlists. Everyone was teary after the episode. “Everyone has these 100% real memories of being these characters and having these good times.”
And that’s that for that! Thanks for your patience, all, and is it Thursday yet?
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not gonna lie I would love to hear more about the drama and infighting that went on in The Vampire Diaries fandom if you have the time (and also want to use that time to give your experience with the fandom, which from the snippets you've told sounds Not Fun so I get it if you don't want to lol)
oh god, there was like, SO MUCH, i just
i really feel like tvd is one of those fandoms that is so hard to describe without a lot of ‘you’d have to have been there’, but it really felt like this huge and all-consuming beast for about five years until the show finally imploded and the fandom basically turned on it en masse. (you ever see that post going around that’s like ‘if you ever want to know what true regret feels like, ask someone who once called tvd their favorite show’? still a mood, all these years later. basically the entire fandom thought the show should have just bowed out with whatever shreds of dignity it had left at the end of season 6, and became more of a hatedom than a fandom for the last two seasons. when you have an entire fandom cheering news of your show’s cancellation, i think that’s a sign you done fucked up, julie.)
first and most infamous, of course, are the ship wars. which are pretty much inevitable in any teen-centered drama, and i really think the CW fucking thrives on them, but it was particularly egregious in TVD’s case because not only was the base premise of the show a love triangle, but the two main romantic leads were brothers that the show constantly pit against one another--in pursuit of elena’s affections, but also because it kept up this insistence on the ‘good brother/bad brother’ dichotomy which stopped making sense after about season 2 (by which time we have found out that the good brother was never as good as he appeared, and the bad brother has been growing and isn’t nearly as bad as he pretends to be)--and the question of which brother ‘deserved’ elena (and no, what elena wanted very rarely factored into these discussions, especially in the team stefan camp because they turned on her when what she wanted was no longer The Good Brother, but i’ll get to that in a bit) was hotly contested.
i’m not kidding when i say the shipping wars were vicious. i started watching tvd shortly after it began to air, which was late 2009, and kept up with it fairly sporadically over the years. i didn’t come onto tumblr until 2011/2012, and by then, the fandom was already pretty much a garbagefire. there were anti ship and anti character blogs, any time something bad happened for one ship the rival ship would invade the tags to gloat about it (seasons 3 and 4 were especially rough, and i’m not gonna pretend delena fans weren’t just as bad about tag invasion and shit, but as that was my side of the road i saw a lot more of the stelena shippers being assholes, which soured my opinion on the ship a long time before i started rewatching and realized the red flags were there from the start), confessions blogs were popular also toxic as fuck (so much fighting happened in the notes of those posts, good gods), and this was right around when twitter’s popularity was on the rise and the line between Celebrity and Fan was thinning, so the fandom was absolutely atrocious to much of the tvd cast and crew.
(some of them deserved a lot of the later backlash, but in the early years a lot of it was ‘how dare you write the story in a way i dont like, you terrible fucking person’, and gods don’t get me started on the dobsley vs nian Thing)
i think what really encapsulates my feelings on the tvd fandom as a whole, though, is the way they (to this DAY) treated elena gilbert, which can be summed up in one meme that gained a lot of traction around season 3 if i remember right: that gif of pam from true blood, with the text altered to read “i’m so OVER elena and her precious doppelganger vagina!”
i swear at one time i had over half the active tvd fan accounts on tumblr blocked, because i got to a point where i would no longer tolerate elena hate, and she was (and still is, in what remains of the fandom; you’ll see a lot of ‘elena was one of the worst things about the show’ takes from ex-fans, too) one of the most widely despised characters in the entire fandom. because she -checks smudged writing on hand- was a traumatized teenage girl who -reads off a crumpled notecard- couldn’t always perfectly sort out her own feelings and -squints at the ceiling- sometimes made mistakes or bad decisions. (except a lot of the fandom also insisted that she was a mary sue who had no character traits or flaws or faults and it was like....make up your fucking minds???? is she a calculating conniving bitch whose somehow manipulating these centuries old vampires to tie them around her little finger or is she a boring flat character with no depth and no flaws??? jfc)
there was this massive double standard, too--like, stefan and damon could fuck whoever they wanted and that was fine, but elena was constantly raked over the coals for the crime of developing romantic feelings for the two men who had become constants in her life and whom she cared for deeply, and oh my GOD the slut shaming that happened when elena slept with damon was fucking wild. (and also happened in canon lmfao. like the show had one of elena’s best friends basically call her diseased on screen for falling in love with someone other than stefan. it was gross and ridiculous and the friend in question was also being a giant hypocrite at the time since she was happily flirting with someone who was directly responsible for the deaths of like four of elena’s loved ones and her own boyfriend’s mother but that’s beside the point) but like elena was called a slut and a bitch and a whore for ‘cheating’ on stefan (she hadn’t, and she had in fact broken up with him on screen the episode earlier) and ‘immediately’ jumping into bed with damon, even though none of them said fucking boo when stefan had one night stands or damon had fuckbuddies or whatever.
shit, caroline didn’t get any of this treatment when she started falling for tyler while dating matt! which isn’t to say i think she should have, just that i think it’s fucking ridiculous that elena was absolutely demonized by the fandom for daring to have feelings for two guys at once and eventually acting on them--despite the fact that the entire premise of the show was a love triangle. it’s not a love triangle if both sides don’t eventually get explored, and the crew had been pretty explicit about the fact that delena was going to happen at some point--but when it did, a huge chunk of the fandom absolutely threw a fit.
and a lot of these elena haters were alleged stelena stans, and i say alleged because they hated her so much for not wanting stefan’s dick anymore that it was clear they were really stefan stans and only wanted stelena to be endgame because they wanted stefan to ‘win’ at the end of the day, because ‘he’s the good brother’ so he deserved elena more.
it was all very gross and very misogynistic and very sex shaming (apparently delena was a ‘shallow’ and ‘superficial’ relationship because they had sex after two years of unrequited feelings slowly becoming requited and then pining for ages on both sides, and because they had a lot of on screen chemistry that the show capitalized on for years so of course they did a lot of making out and shit but it’s not like stelena didn’t have its fair share of making out and sex scenes, stefan was just too much of a coward to let elena top i’d apologize for that joke but i’m really not sorry because it’s true), and when i say it was egged on by the crew, that’s because they refused to let the love triangle die back in season 4 when it should have.
they insisted on stringing stelena fans along, dropping little bread crumbs to keep them invested, like dreams of a future where they were married and revealing that stefan was also a doppelganger and he and elena were descended from a pair of star-crossed lovers (a plot that ultimately went nowhere, to no one’s great surprise), and then fucking like. julie plec turned around and threw nina under the bus after she chose not to extend her contract and pretended that stelena might have happened again if she hadn’t left the show, which....i mean frankly i wouldn’t put it past her, but it would have been shitty writing. then again, she thought having a vampire pregnancy where a uterus was magically transplanted from a witch into a vampire that could somehow......carry the babies to term.... made sense and was a good way to accomodate candice’s RL pregnancy rather than like literally ANYTHING else, soooooo. but anyway julie saying that around like, end of s6 sparked off a new wave of nina hate and elena hate and ship wars bc they SEers took it as ‘confirmation’ that stelena was REALLY meant to be endgame and it was all just a hot fucking mess
another thing is that, while tvd was in its prime before the anti/purity culture shit started picking up any real steam, there was still this pervasive attitude throughout the fandom that if you liked Damon, you were A Bad Person. liking damon was apparently grounds for insults and harassment, and apparently he was The Worst Person on the Show even though literally nothing he does on screen is any worse than shit we know stefan has done (and frankly every other vampire too, but i mention stefan specifically because he was always held up--in the show but especially in the fandom--as the Good Brother while damon was the Bad One, and if you liked damon more then that had to mean your morals were dodgy and you clearly couldn’t appreciate what a heroic and saintly figure dear stefan was and....oops, i’m sorry, my salt keeps leaking -cough-).
meanwhile klaus quickly became a fandom darling despite not even really having much of a redemption arc (on tvd anyway, he just became more ‘affably evil’ as the show went on and more inclined to work with the main characters rather than try to kill them; i have no idea what went on over on his show, though), and like i can 100% appreciate liking villains and not caring that they do dodgy villainous shit, even just liking them bc they’re hot and wanting them to kiss a main character bc they have insanely good chemistry (yes i ship klaroline, no i won’t apologize for it, they could have been Really Great), it’s just really the double standard that gets me.
and all of this, incidentally, required ignoring some truly gross shit stefan was responsible for wrt his relationship with elena, that frankly it has always bothered me never really got addressed in the show. i get why elena herself would never be able to actually call him on it, but the fact is that he stalked her for months after he first saw her and thought she was katherine (meanwhile it only took damon .5 seconds to realize she was someone else entirely, but that’s another topic entirely), and then he deliberately inserted himself into her life because, in his words, ‘i have to know her’. he never gave a thought to how his presence in her life might affect her (or rather, he did, and tormented himself about it in his internal monologue, but never let this actually dissuade him from disrupting her life), and elena would wind up blaming herself for every tragedy that befell her friends and loved ones as a result of getting mixed up in vampire bullshit even though none of it was her fault--she literally blamed herself for existing but most of the fandom didn’t give a fuck about that lmfao--and stefan did shit like find out that she was adopted and then withhold this information from her until she got pissed about another secret he was keeping (her resemblence to katherine) and drop it on her to try and distract her from her very reasonable anger, and like... i should stop before this becomes a whole rant about how much i hate stefan fucking salvatore, but the point is, he did a lot of really sketchy shit he never answered for and elena never really took him to task for, and the fandom just kept eating up his insistence that he was the Good Brother and therefore he deserved to have elena, and if she didn’t want him anymore it was because she was a heinous bitch who didn’t deserve him.
uh.....i think i got off track there. and there’s probably a lot of shit i missed, like i think i was incandescent with rage for most of seasons 5 and 6 so i missed a lot of the interfandom shit cause i was too busy being increasingly pissed off at the show itself, but if nothing else this should give you an idea of how much of a goddamn cesspit the fandom was while the show as in its prime. there’s a reason both the show and the fandom have such a lousy reputation lmfao.
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Cake
a/n: when tipsy meets twitter, all bets are off
hello! I woke up three days ago like I’d been reborn in my love for this kid, so I wrote this filth 😅 i’ve posted a few times recently about this video but if you haven’t seen it, scroll my blog or search cake lol trust me it’s worth your time.
(masterlist is linked in my description)
warnings: 3.9k of absolute filth
Movie night had ended hours ago, giving way to sleepy rideshares and drunken footsteps into the second bedroom. Brian was passed out and snoring in the giant armchair across from you. The Top Gun drinking game had gone wrong at around the eighth high five and completely derailed at the sixth “Iceman,” which became a salud of sorts in the room. Beer cans, mango White Claws, and the occasional tequila bottle littered the kitchen island.
“Psst, are you awake?” a toe poked your side from above. Shawn looked down at you with a cocked eyebrow from under his crooked elbow. You’d taken residence behind his legs, resting your head on his hip to watch the movie, bowing out of getting totally trashed. Your lips were still tingly enough to be dangerous.
“Yeah,” you croaked, clearing your throat and stretching, “I’m awake.”
“Are you suuure?” he slurred, tired and tipsy. The smirk was audible, “I thought I felt you drooling through my sweatpants.” His breath came out in a whoosh when you punched him in the abs with your outstretched arm.
“How’s that for awake, fucker?!” He chuckled and caught at your hand, unfisting your fingers and playing with them as he pulled out his phone. You let him. You even opened your hand fully so he could trace little patterns on your palm.
It had been like this for a few months, the flirting, the touching. A drunken night of 20-somethings playing spin the bottle had ended with multiple people clearing their throats with wide eyes as Shawn kissed you.
My God, he had kissed you. Fingers splayed against your neck, his lips gently interlocked with yours. It started out chaste, just two mouths touching, but as soon as he swiped his tongue across your bottom lip, it was game over. The people, the voices, your friends, all melted away and it was just the two of you. His top lip between yours. Gentle sucking pressure. His body heat radiating onto your skin. It was everything you never knew you wanted. Until Connor clapped Shawn on the shoulder and ripped him away, turning the two of you into human embarrassed laughing emojis.
Since then, it had been like this. His hand on your lower back at the coffee shop, lazy naps together after midday movies, play fighting and fake indignation after one too many shots at the bar. Your friends all shared sideways looks and snide smirks every time you hung out but you hadn’t crossed any lines again and you definitely hadn’t talked about it. Whatever it was didn’t need conversation. It was fun. It was nothing. He was busy. He was a globally-famous popstar. You were normal. The last thing you wanted was one of those embarrassing tabloid articles, “15 Things You Need to Know About Shawn Mendes’s New Fling.” So, in the quiet moments, you let him trace patterns on your palm and send shivers down to your toes.
“Hey, come up here, I’m scrolling Twitter,” he swept his fingers down to your wrist and gave it a tug, a little giddiness in his tone. He made space for you in front of him on the couch, giving you his bicep as a pillow. You settled back against his hard chest and let your legs weave into his. He’s so goddamn warm. It was a mistake wearing jean shorts to his condo. There was a part of you that wondered if he turned the A/C down on purpose but you didn’t want to think about why.
Scrolling Twitter, where Shawn saw the most fan activity, was one of your favorite pastimes. Seeing the reactions to this dude you knew in real life was occasionally shocking, sometimes horrifying, but always amusing. He held the phone out in front of you and thumbed through his feed.
Most of his mentions were about missing him. He’d been on a break since the end of his last tour, taking some time to himself without a schedule for every minute of every day. For a guy who had been taking photos with fans pretty much everyday for the last seven years, you understood why they might be freaking out. He’d broken the pattern. Thank God for that.
You tried to keep your eyes from crossing at the repeated “I miss Shawn @shawnmendes” tweets and the feeling of his alcohol-warmed fingers against your hip. I shouldn’t want this.
“Wait!” you snapped a finger at his phone, “what was that?”
“Oh, that?” he scrolled back, “it’s just an old video.” His voice broke a couple octaves on the last bit. The tweet was accompanied by the wide-eyed blushing emoji. Curious. You raised an eyebrow and watched. He was eating a guitar-shaped cake...with his hands. Mouth wide open, his face buried over and over in thick pieces of chocolate cake with some kind of blue frosting on it. It was fucking filthy. You rubbed your thighs together absent-mindedly.
“What do the comments say?” You poked at his phone before he could move it away.
“Oh, nothing really,” his voice was still high, which meant he knew what the comments likely said. You huffed and grabbed at the phone.
“Shawn, you know I have Twitter, I’ll see it whether you like it or not!” You rammed your hips backward, pausing for a second when you felt something you weren’t expecting, but not for too long. He sucked in a breath, coughing, and dropped his phone—right into your waiting hands.
“Hahaha!” You jumped up and ran to the other side of the big white couch, kicking your legs in victory, “I win!” He tripped over his own oversized limbs before he got to you, falling to the floor within reach of your feet. He reached out and pulled your legs toward him, framing his face between your thighs. Your giggles stopped short and your face flamed.
“Can you assholes get a room?!” Brian was awake and fussing at the thin fleece blanket he’d scrounged off the back of the couch. He rolled over mumbling something that sounded like just fucking fuck already but you were too busy thinking about Shawn’s head still between your legs to be bothered by it.
Shawn slowly lifted his finger to his lips in the universal sign to be quiet and untangled himself to stand. He reached out a hand and you didn’t hesitate to grab it, leading you to his bedroom down the hall. You held his phone in a death grip, unwilling to let go in case he caught you off guard.
The room was dark, save for his phone, the rectangle reflecting a solid white off the wall of glass facing the city. The CN Tower lights flickered in the late night sky, seemingly suspended in midair. His unmade bed was the biggest and brightest thing in the room. A white comforter hung half on the floor at an odd angle off the corner of the mattress, his white sheets completely exposed. The pillows were all scrunched up at the headboard, like he’d been kicking and pushing all night long. Like he hadn’t slept soundly in weeks.
“Okay, so what you’re about to read…” he shut the door behind him, scrubbing at the back of his neck, “it’s gonna be weird, but like it’s fine I’m used to it. They’re...a little invasive.” Weird? Invasive? Curiouser and curiouser…
You walked over to his bed, picking up the comforter and tossing it haphazardly back onto the bed, and sat on the edge staring at the video and letting it play a few more times. Then you swiped down.
@canadianmendussy: ALEXA PLAY BIRTHDAY CAKE BY RIHANNAAAAA
@perfectlyru1n: oh my goD does he really go down like thAT?!
“Oh...my God,” you covered your mouth to keep from laughing, “you’ve seen this before?”
He bounced on the mattress facedown, mumbling something into the sheets.
“What was that?” you asked, with Southern sweet tea levels of sugar. You ruffled his hair, brushing through his curls. He turned his head, his face flushed with more than just alcohol.
“I said yes, I’ve seen it before…” he opened one eye and looked up at you, “I usually just ignore them.”
There were over 400 replies on this tweet, some people chiding the horny stans for posting something Shawn can see, others just piling on.
@illuminateruin: is that cake gluten-free?
@kidinlover: @illuminateruin idk but I know pussy is
@particularbenito: CAN HE EAT PUSSY LIKE THAT?!?!?!
“Can he eat pussy like that...” you read out loud under your breath, your mind conjuring up that image of his face between your thighs. Shawn’s head shot up, eyes wide.
“What???” His face was practically magenta at this point, “is that a serious question??”
“What? Uhh, no. Not serious. A reply actually,” you rushed, giving him a sideways look. I mean...maybe it was a serious question? The curiosity was going to kill you. Oh, no. No, no, no. Your lips tingled.
“Well, I mean….can you?” You could hear the glint in your eye.
Fuck it all.
“Can I….w-what?” he stuttered, the air crackling between the two of you. He looked like a cornered animal, like the wrong move would get him killed.
“Can you,” you pushed a loose curl out of his face and nodded toward his phone, “eat pussy like that?”
Oh, God, did I just…?
“I’ve never gotten any complaints,” your head popped up at his self-satisfied tone. Gone was the red-faced shy boy talking about embarrassing fans. The Shawn in front of you was...confident. Hungry. His fingers grazed your ankles resting beside him. It didn’t escape your notice. You shivered.
It wasn’t cold.
“M-maybe they were just too afraid to tell a big, famous rockstar that he sucked,” you were the one stuttering now, face heating by the second.
“Oh, sucking was definitely part of it,” his fingers traced the indent in your calf. You refused to pull away even though you should, even though part of you—a small, shrinking part—knew that if this went where it was definitely going, things were going to change. You snuck a finger under his chin to pull his gaze to yours.
“Is that a promise?”
“I don’t know,” he flashed a toothy smile, gravity and sheer force of will pulling his body toward yours, “is that an invitation?”
I’m probably gonna regret this in the morning.
Your lips crashed into his, giving him your answer. His mouth was hot, his breathing heavy. Tongues and teeth and lips wrestled together, refusing to part while he made his way above you, crawling on hands and knees between your legs as you settled against the pillows. He licked up into your mouth just before nibbling on your bottom lip, forcing a moan from deep inside you. This was primal, the need you felt with him. Like once you came together, nothing could break you apart.
His hands moved up your body, scratching gently at your exposed legs and slipping beneath your hoodie. He broke away from your lips to shuck off your top and expose all your delicate skin. His fingers slipped beneath your lace bralette and he played with the tiny clasp between your breasts.
“Is this okay?” he asked, a little out of breath, his thin t-shirt pressing against your skin.
You nodded so quickly you thought your neck might snap. He popped the clasp and spread his calloused hands across your chest. The friction was glorious. Your body chased his fingers involuntarily, bowing up off the high thread count sheets.
“Be still, baby,” he whispered, dipping his head and placing an open mouthed kiss just above your belly button. Your eyes rolled back at the pet name, another moan escaping your lips. Warmth rushed between your legs.
“Shawn,” you gasped, trying to control your breathing so he didn’t know just how fucked you were, “when I gave you an invitation, I didn’t expect you to be late to the party.” You rocked your hips up into his chest pointedly.
“Well, I can't just jump to the entrée, can I?” He fiddled with the button on your denim shorts, loosening it with a little pop. Teasing, he licked at a freckle just above your hip before sucking at it with enough force to leave a mark.
“Fuck!” Your hands shot down to his mop of curls, fingers buried in the thick locks. He pulled and nibbled at that spot over and over, all while grazing his fingers just beneath the waistband of your simple cotton cheeky panties.
When he pulled away, an angry red violet half-moon colored the skin. He took one last lick, smiling at your gasp in response.
“I love that sound,” he sat back on his heels between your legs, looking down at your heaving chest.
“I’ll make it again if you take that shirt off,” you reached for him with grabby hands, trying to Harry Potter that shit. He laughed and did the boy thing, grabbing his shirt at the back of his neck before tugging it forward off his body.
The gasp came again. Not even on purpose or because you’s promised him, but because he was so stupid gorgeous in the low light of the city you couldn’t help yourself. You’d seen him in hot tubs and at sweaty summer parties and in those fucking Calvin Klein pictures, but none of that compared to having him shirtless between your thighs just a few inches from your outstretched fingers.
His chest was flushed, some combination of adrenaline and alcohol. Little freckles dotted his lightly tanned skin all the way up his torso to the dusting of chest hair that colored his chest. His perfect pink nipples were hard against the cool air of the room, begging for you to touch or kiss or bite. Or all of the above. You reached out to trace his appendix scar where it peaked out of his low-slung sweatpants. His body danced away from you as he caught at your hand.
“Don’t,” he growled, weaving his fingers between yours and pressing his lips onto the back of your palm like a fucking Victorian gentleman. Like he wasn’t staring down at your hardening nipples thinking about how good they would feel pinched warm between his fingers. He tipped forward, bracing himself against the mattress, his mouth just a few centimeters from your skin. Dragging flesh against flesh, he left kisses at random in the valley between your breasts. Moving farther and farther down your body, he paused, sitting up on his heels.
“Are you sure?” He was breathing heavy, looking straight through you, both hands hovering around the edges of your shorts. You were nodding before he even finished his question.
He curled his fingers around all the fabric in his way, denim and cotton both, and dragged the offending pieces of clothing down your legs, lifting them off and tossing them against the wall across the room. You breathed steady, looking at him looking at you. His mouth hung open in speechless wonder.
“You’re fucking beautiful,” he whispered, settling back between your thighs, a mirror of his earlier pose on the couch. Another wave of heat rushed straight to your clit, silently screaming for him.
“I know,” you brushed through his curls, giving him a suggestive grin when he looked up at you, “I taste good too.”
That was all the permission he needed. A second later, he buried his face between your legs, nudging your knees over his shoulders. His tongue swirled in circles around your clit finishing in random flicks. He moaned into you, his lips closing around your swollen folds with gently sucking pressure.
“Shit, Shawn!” you shouted, praying to the gods that everyone still in the condo was too drunk and passed out to hear you. The white sheets bunched in your fists, arms spread wide. Your thighs clamped down against his ears.
He continued his licks and flicks, snaking his hands up your legs and gently prying your legs apart. You clenched hard as he pinned your thighs to the mattress, holding you open with his forearms. Filthy sounds echoed off the walls, wet sucking, moaning from both of you. He dipped his chin and circled your entrance with his tongue, lapping at you.
“Christ!” your hands shot into his damp curls. He was working hard down there, flexing and moaning and fighting your spasms. You looked down and saw his hips impatiently rutting into the mattress. It only made you wetter, gushing onto his waiting tongue. He drank everything you gave him.
“He’s not here,” he said in a low and gravelly voice, a little breathless. He pulled back, the bottom half of his face shining in the dark. His fingers toyed with your sensitive, wet lips, watching as you twitched and trembled, so close to the edge. A firm circle around your clit had your back bowing, contorting backward off the bed. A single tear rolled down your temple.
“I’m so close,” you panted, trapping his outstretched hand against your skin.
“Shawn, I need you.”
“Need me?” His fingers paused, “need me where?”
“Oh, God, don’t stop,” you choked out, a sob threatening. Your back arched up off the sheets again to find friction. “I need...I need you inside me.”
At some point between your words and the needy moan that followed, he’d removed his sweatpants and a black pair of Calvins. You heard him rustling his hand inside the bedside table followed by the metallic sound of foil and the sharp scent of latex. Thank fuck he’s prepared.
When he dropped down onto his forearms, hovering an inch from where you needed him, you were dripping onto the sheets, grinding down into the mattress waiting desperately for him. He ran his nose over your collarbone, peppering kisses along your neck. It was slow and deliberate. A fucking tease.
“Shawn,” you pulled his face up to yours, all squished between your hands, “if you don’t fuck me right now, I swear I will…”
He pressed inside to the hilt in one swift motion, cutting off your threat.
“What are you swearing to do, princess?” he asked, a smirk and a fire in his eyes. The moan that escaped you in response was embarrassingly loud. He stilled and closed his eyes, allowing you to adjust. You took even breaths, relaxing into his hips, holding on to his shoulders for dear life. His cock was perfect. He was perfect.
I am so fucked.
He moved, slowly at first, stroking all the right places. When his hips separated from yours, pulling almost all the way out, he rutted back inside. It was deep, long thrusts touching some place inside you weren’t sure you knew was there. Your head thrashed against the pillows. Your grip on his shoulders turned sharp, clawing long red-raw marks into his pale skin.
“I’m not gonna last long,” he hissed into your ear, “fuck, you’re so tight.” His abs scraped against your body like a washboard, the tension clear in his muscles. He was wound up, ready to shatter. He crashed into you, repeatedly slapping skin against skin. His fingers found your clit, rubbing tight, slow circles in contrast with the punishing rhythm of his hips. He lifted one of your legs over his hip to change the angle, to make you even tighter around him. A bead of salty-sweet sweat dropped from his chest into your mouth.
“Right...there,” you groaned, your eyes rolling back, “I’m gonna come!”
“That’s right, honey,” he grunted, flattening his fingers across your clit with intense pressure, “come for me.”
The room went white. The sound of your hips colliding was replaced with a high-pitched ring. Your world seemed to implode, your muscles moving independently. He wrapped his arms around your middle and held you as he fucked you through the waves, his weight the only thing keeping you from being swept away in the current.
“Stay here with me,” he cooed, sweet but taut in his throat. Your heart slammed against your ribs in rhythm with his hips. He grunted once, twice, three times with his final thrusts and came undone, pumping into the condom. Biting down on your shoulder to stifle his sounds, he sucked hard enough to leave an angry mark. You contracted around him, both inside and out, curling around his thighs and back and neck, letting the full weight of his completely spent body bring you back to full consciousness.
“Hey,” you fingered his frizzed and fucked curls, “Shawn?”
“Hmm?” he nuzzled into your hands and squeezed you a little tighter.
“You’re crushing me,” you exhaled, strained.
“Oh, fuck! I’m sorry!”
He shifted to his side, accidentally pulling out too quickly, making both of you wince.
“Shit, shit, I’m so sorry,” he was so cute when he was scrambling. He got up and threw out the used condom, quickly returning from the adjoining bathroom with a damp cloth.
“Come here,” he held his arms out, making a perfect you-sized place in front of him. You slid into it easily and let him press the cloth between your legs, wincing again.
“Did I hurt you?” There was so much concern in his voice.
“No, no, I just…” you held onto his arm, glad to be facing away, “I haven’t been fucked like that in awhile.”
“Glad to be of service.” You didn’t have to be looking at him to see his smug smile. Reaching back, you slapped his thigh in retaliation. He caught your hand and kissed it like a Victorian gentleman again, like it made up for his cockiness. You tried to convince yourself that it didn’t, flushing even harder than your just-fucked body should have allowed. He wrapped his arm around your front and intertwined your legs, snuggling his face into the nape of your neck.
“So, uhhh, are we gonna do this again?” he asked, barely concealing the hope in his voice.
“Shhh,” you said, yawning for effect, “we’ll talk about it in the morning. Just sleep.”
He exhaled against your back, placing one last kiss on the mark you were sure he’d left in the midst of his orgasm. You stared out into the Toronto skyline as his breathing evened, his quiet snores barely audible against the screaming voices in your head. As the light crept into the room, as morning dawned on your sleepless night, you repeated his question over and over again.
Are we gonna do this again?
There was an easy answer: yes. Yes, yes, yes, my God, yes you were going to do this again. But there was another, harder question to answer beneath it. If we do this again, will we ever be able to stop?
***
taglist: @justanotherfangurl272 @siennarossi @trustfundshawn @alone-in-madness @harryandmolly @thatindiannerdygirl @fromthicctosticcc @softmendesss @sinplisticshawn @nedthegay @september-lace @itrocksmysocks @disaster-rose @mendesoft @luvluvxx @i-play-video-games @ihearthemcallingforyou @gentleshawn @kitykatnumber @enchantingbrowneyedgirl @ijustreallylikeshawnokay @shhhawnmendes @shawnsblue @imaginashawnns @mendesficsxbombay @shawn-youth @kerwritesthings @starlightsivann @lavenderhoneymndes @begginyouformendes @fallinallincurls @shawn-youth @linanilssonfurberg @lostinshawnsmemory @bucky-ish
(as always let me know if you want on/off the tag list...I realize I don’t post regularly and like half of these people could be out of the fandom lol)
#shawn mendes#shawn mendes imagine#shawn mendes fic#shawn mendes fanfiction#shawn mendes smut#shawn peter raul mendes#my writing#yeah it took me a little more than an hour but it's HERE and that's all that MATTERS
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ok i got the aesvic out of my system now time to pick apart the letter n why i wont really be following aesops diary exactly here. literally no one asked but i wanted to get my thoughts down somewhere cos i have. a lot
just gonna put a quick rundown of aesops diary entry as a refresher (mostly for myself so i dont miss anything): he dreamt that he was helping jerry with what was probably a murder n was affirmed n he thinks its a sign congratulating him on carrying out his duty. over the years, he carries out his duties as an undertaker n comes to the manor looking for a “fresh start” aka what sounds like his first victim. according to aesop, said victim should be quiet, n potential victim number 1 is victor. something about badly needing him to become his “silent friend” n he mentions he’ll get to wick n the 2 other survivors in due time, but for now he’s very eager to start his “mission”.
im generally okay with the letter (i have seen so many fights over this aha) cos there is no surprise he wants to kill ppl (ppl who r fighting over this point. did u even read his deductions?? guy happily killed his mentor??). but i didnt quite like the fact that he still looks up to jerry (although. i guess thats valid i just. dont like it). i was also initially kind of confused about the real reason why he would want to kill ppl since as u progress through the letter it sounds less like he kills for duty (cos of the whole dream thing at the start) but more “because i want to :)”, which is an okayish edgy kinda take imo. like not that u cant characterize aesop as Kill Kill Murder Die, but i kinda find that. pretty boring in the long term.
im just gonna put what my original take on aesop was, like all of it. first off, he hates jerry. u cannot tell me a psychotic serial killer like that can raise a child without emotional trauma. like any child, this isnt even counting the extra damage done because hes autistic. (n i also hc that aesop has read his moms letter to him at some point, n he should have come to the conclusion that it was somewhat also jerrys fault, whether through logic or denial that his mom would want to leave him, so that just adds to it.) but as much as he hates him, his teachings are the only ones hes been exposed to, n its been so ingrained in him since young so even if he hates jerry he would still subscribe to whatever twisted ideology jerry was feeding him, which ill get to in a sec.
going through his accessories, he has that origami that he folds for each of his clients, n it shows that underneath it all, aesop is still kind. this isnt expected of him n its definitely not part of his job scope as an embalmer. he (still?) has the heart to wish the best for those that have departed n takes the time n effort to fold one for each n every client he sends off, which is probably a lot. so going off on that, my hc is that jerry, being the manipulative asshole that he is (who probably definitely manipulated his mom into indirect suicide) probably used his kindness against him to make him believe that by murdering ppl he is helping them, framing all of his serial kills as a sort of mercy kill (like his mom). so the thing that aesop takes away from all this is the very twisted logic that by killing ppl he is helping them, therefore being a good embalmer and a good person in general. n everyone wants to be a sort of good person, or at least for aesop that is part of his job description to be a good embalmer. n we all know aesop is very serious about his job.
i also hc that he has killed several ppl between killing jerry n coming to the manor, cos i follow the story that he took the invitation from that poor lady n thats how he ended up at the manor. surely the lady didnt come to him right after jerry died?? but anyway, the way i see it is that he thought he liked to kill. like he finally truly understood why jerry kills so much (which is interesting now that i think about it. guy really just went along with all those murders without truly believing huh), because it felt good to kill. at least thats what he thought, the revelation that killing felt good n is good, but i say its because he hated jerry, n offing someone u kinda hate should probably feel pretty gucci. n its also so much easier to pick clients off the streets than in the manor, so i would think that he has killed ppl like his mentor did, but each time he did the great feeling that came with ending ppls life just. wasnt as good as the first time round. it just became a sort of normal satisfaction of a successful embalming.
this can go two ways: 1. he keeps on killing to try to find that great feeling again, which is cool i guess (n probably what canon would want, except canon states that he hasnt killed since jerry), but id like to go with 2. he just stops because jerry isnt around to enforce it whenever he isnt feeling up to psychoing someone to their death (which is probably how jerry got his victims, n damn if that doesnt take a lot of mind games that i dont think aesop has the mental capacity for since half of it is fighting with his social anxiety n other issues. dealing with alive strangers?? no thanks?? i doubt he would have learnt properly how to lure in clients as efficiently as jerry because of this, mostly cos he was only needed for the murder afterparty aka embalming n funerals). n as much as he stays professional, there is no. professional way of gaslighting someone to their death.
(n also since ppl have pointed out that his twitter replies n other kinda informal stuff have shown that aesop does have reverent respect for life, which also adds to him not being so blindly bloodthirsty as implied in the letter. i dont really see the twitter replies as very canon, but it does make sense that he would come to revere life with his unique take and obsession over death, for one cannot exist without the other)
so this leads me to the motive that aesop brings to the manor, at least how i see it. he isnt exactly coming to the manor to kill per se (like from the very early story, he came to the manor to return the letter to a relative of the deceased lady, something about respecting her last wishes. something like that, its really been a while since i saw that exerpt), so like killing ppl isnt his main purpose of visit. its more of hes always on the lookout for weaker (or at least those that take less mind games to kill) people to mercy kill, n it just so happens that he knows the manor n his mentor almost died from there, so theres a pretty good chance he can find some ppl that fall into this category n so it just so happens that he also has a job to do there. its still counted as a Job for him since no ones gonna tell him that embalmers dont actually. murder.
so in my version, aesop only tries to sway ppl that he knows he can convince, n these ppl would typically be those very sickly ones like his mom (andrew im looking at u) or those with an actual death wish/ very weak will to live. but here aesop is choosing his “first victim”, and the criteria for that is... quiet? never mind “not evading him” and “not cranky” being on the list too, but that isnt quite what i was expecting from someone so dedicated to their duty of murder. sure he wants an easy first kill, but like. i dont think its consistent if his motive was really to continue jerrys bastard legacy. especially when the next paragraph is essentially him gushing over victor, that... sort of implies something else. or at least in the way i see it, since i believe that canon wants us to think that aesop just really loves to kill.
aesop likes victor. very much so. so much till he wants to kill him. which i guess makes sense cos he likes death, n now he likes victor. so he just. puts the two things he likes together. whats better than victor? dead victor. anyway the rest of the letter is more like “whatever, i technically should kill the others too but my priority is victor” so like. he confuses his (dare i say) yandere tendencies with his duty since the end goal for both is a body in a coffin.
having said that. i know i have aesvic brainrot but i also know this is one sided as hell (at least from the letter alone, not counting the letter shaped cookies in his birthday art that apparently belonged to victors birthday cake aha) n lowkey alarming since. the goal is to kill victor. i kinda want to interpret it as him genuinely wanting to be friends with victor (really wanting him to be a “silent friend”, maybe cos he doesnt actually know how to be friends with living ppl n is better with dead ones? therefore victor should be dead to be friends?) but not knowing how to n throwing in his obsession with death ends up with. this minor disaster waiting to happen. but i uh. dont know if this is valid. its valid to me at least, with my original interpretation of aesop. n again cos of his ingrained professionalism, he also kinda sees this as part of his job to send ppl off, so its another plus. not for victor, tho.
idk if ill add this yandere side in my aesop. i mean my boi has technically tried to kill victor multiple times in the past HAHAHAHA. maybe like sometimes he can be a bit obsessive. as a treat. but generally nah cos thats definitely gonna end up in a murder somewhere somehow n i cant. just kill victors here on the ask blog scene lashjflkjhdlfkjhas
so yeah that kinda takes care of the last part of the letter, as for the first part. as much as aesop hates jerry, i would also think hes pretty starved for affirmation (like i said jerry isnt going to be a good parent figure ever) n i guess it makes sense if the only times jerry has ever complimented him was aiding him in his kills n hiding the evidence, which might (?) add to his desire to kill (but that probably dies with jerry aha). so the way i see it as aesop is getting affirmation n takes it as a good sign instead of. remotely liking jerry. idk if im stretching it a little but i really dont like the take where hes okay with jerry. anyway we are ignoring that he hasnt killed before entering the manor cos that doesnt quite make sense to me (i wasnt dreaming about the letter from a lady stabbed in the face 36 times or so right???? right???????)
im also not like. trying to defend him, im just trying to make sense of his diary. boi has issues n is a little too far gone (not as far as canon tho), in my take very deluded in his way of showing kindness. literally cool motive still murder (or in canon, just murder?), please get therapy. but i just dont really like the direction that the letter was originally trying to imply, with him really just hell bent on murder without like. a clear motive (at least to me it isnt very clear since the last part really doesnt sound consistent with his supposed intentions). i mean i love being edgy with aesop every now n then but i dont think it would make for meaningful characterizations in the long run so. ill still be sticking with my original take on aesop with maybe a bit of yandere for victor cos thats always fun
#unconcerned ramblings#mun rambles#its me the mun#im so sorry i talk so much. i was like Okay i should stop talking on my blog now. n then i didnt#i dont even know if this makes sense im still sleep deprived n tired as hell but i literally cant sleep cos this was bothering me so much#also cos i see a lot of ppl like. just nope the letter n somehow began to hate aesop after loving him as a character for so long. which is#interesting. cos this letter isnt exactly out of the blue. we been knew#just a few minor things that i disagree with. but generally i think it was an okay letter
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More Than Meets the Eye #22- If You Don’t Love Thunderclash, Get Better Soon I Guess
One last issue before we reach Comic Event Hell.
Time to use a dead man to set up the rest of the nonsense that’s got to happen, because apparently 14 issues of setup, including six issues of literal prelude, wasn’t enough.
The first bit of information we’re presented with is the fact that Chromedome and Swerve are on the opposite sides of the camera-shy scale. I guess that’s bound to happen when your spouse has had his video-cam literally connected to his brain for at least several thousand years.
The art may look really gritty and hardcore here, but this is actually due to a filter Rewind has over all his footage that he’s neglected to take off, because it made all the wartime propaganda he would stuff into people’s heads all the more brutal-looking.
No, this is the style of our artist for this issue, James Raiz, who we’ll be seeing a fair bit of over the next several issues. Raiz has worked on the Transformers franchise over the course of multiple license-holders, as well as contributed to both Marvel and DC comics. He also works in special effects, including matte painting and VFX. That’s just neat.
Anyway, the reason Swerve’s completely frozen in place isn’t because Rewind switched out his head-mounted camera for a gun that goes off if it hears you make a self-deprecating joke, but rather because he’s conducting interviews with everyone in the main cast. We get all their introductions, Cyclonus makes a statement about his political stances, Drift sounds like he’s high as a kite, First Aid strikes a sassy pose while not being bitter in the slightest, and Ultra Magnus makes a move that would get him murdered on any given film set in the universe.
You do NOT use your bare fucking hand to clean a camera lens, mister. Go get a microfiber cloth and try the fuck again, you complete and utter duffel bag of a creature.
We get a quick cut of the speech Rodimus made back in issue #1, with an angle that implies that Rewind was in the front row of the front row, then cut over to Rodimus asking Rewind to document their Capital-Q Quest. This is where we establish that this film doesn’t only contain footage from Rewind’s personal camera, but also that of the Lost Light’s security system.
Which feels like the sort of access you maybe wouldn’t want to give some nosy little film buff, especially when you have a secret giant serial killing sadist living in your basement like a disappointing adult child.
See? He was given the job to record the adventures of the Lost Light not five minutes ago, and he’s already using his powers for evil. Eavesdropping evil. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, Rodimus, and you just handed it to the guy with a massive Dominus Ambus-shaped chip on his shoulder.
So Rewind’s got permission to film just about whatever he wants, and Rodimus figures it’ll be nonstop action from here to the finish line! Fights! Intrigue! Mild hijinks and peril! Explosions aplomb! Oh man, I can’t wait to see what kinds of crazy shit will happen on this absolute roller coaster of a Quest!
Smashcut to Swerve literally falling asleep in the middle of a conversation.
Yeah, as it turns out, no quest, capital Q or not, is nonstop action. Which is good, honestly, because that kind of seems like it would be exhausting after the first week or so.
Swerve, Tailgate, and Rewind are discussing cool alt-modes, which seems like an odd topic, seeing as Tailgate and Swerve have basically the same situation going on there, leaving Rewind alone in the camp of “does not have wheels”.
I worry about you sometimes, Rewind. Internalized Functionism is a very real problem. Uh, well, in your universe anyway. Us humans have to deal with regular ol’ classism and racism.
Rung gets brought up, and it’s revealed that the wheel on his back is almost purely cosmetic; it doesn’t even actually attach to his body. The lads decide that they’ve got nothing better to do, and set up a gentlemen’s wager- first one to figure out Rung’s whole deal gets 100 space-dollars.
Throwing shit at people’s heads will be a major plot point in the climax of this comic series.
Swerve’s go at trying to win the bet involved tossing a grenade at Rung to hit him in the neural cluster, which is rumored to be able to force an involuntary mode change if done correctly. Obviously, it didn’t work this go around.
Then our narrative focus switches over to the crew’s hobbies.
You were listening to Prince, weren’t you, Magnus? Not even deep space is safe from the Cease and Desist.
Skids’ hobby is meeting new people, because he suffers from the terrible curse of being so fucking good at everything he tries, he always ends up dropping whatever he picked up, because what’s the point? This acts as a segue into another flashback, to even MORE bullshit that the fellas got roped into on Hedonia.
These are the Stentarians. They’re like the Cybertronians, if they were better in every way.
And by “better”, I, of course, mean “more bloodthirsty, warmongering, and driven enough to make their civil war last about as long as the Jurassic Period”. Also, they’re all combiners by default, and Whirl seems a little TOO into their whole situation. So much so, in fact, that when the Imperial Guard of their race show up to kill them, he decides to do them a solid by single-handedly ending their entire war.
You know, in most cases you’re supposed to show and not tell for visual media. This is way funnier, though, so it can be excused.
We jump back into the interviews, and Rewind’s just asked everyone if they’re happy. This might seem like an odd question, until you remember that everyone on-board this ship has crippling depression and PTSD, and Rewind’s married to one of the saddest motherfuckers to ever exist, so he probably has this question loaded into the proverbial chamber at any given moment. We won’t cover all of the answers here, because they’ll be more poignant to reflect back on later in the comic run, but let’s take a gander at the characters who’ve completed the first leg of their character arcs this season.
Drift, is that perhaps… an honest expression of your inner thought processes happening right there? Has Rewind broken through your carefully crafted persona, if even for just a moment, with his question? Perish the thought!
Because Tailgate outed himself as being baby in issue #21, I have zero doubt he’s not exaggerating here. He was a janitor, then he fell in a hole and became Dirt-Nap Supreme for six million years; even the most boring day on the Lost Light’s got to be better than that.
And it’s nice to see Chromedome on a good day for once. Hopefully he reveled in it while he had the chance, because this interview takes place maybe a couple weeks before he fucks everything up big time and has to blow up his husband with a missile strike.
Getting back to the Mystery of the Rungian Alt-Mode plotline, we see Rung using his backpack as a wheelbarrow- no idea what he’s actually pushing in the damned thing- and wearing the most disgruntled face I’ve seen him pull in a hot minute. Someone yells for him to come down the eerily unlit and sinister-looking hallway, which he does. Rung would not do well in a horror film.
He winds up at Swerve’s, where Tailgate, Swerve, Brainstorm, and someone who is most likely Trailcutter, given the colors, are hanging out in their alt-modes. Tailgate’s ploy to find out Rung’s deal is to do what he does best- lie! They’re having an alt-mode party, and wouldn’t Rung like to join in? There are, of course, logistical issues with being a car in a bar, especially when your drink is on the table and your head is tucked up somewhere in your torso, but never mind all that! Let’s get crazy!
This doesn’t work either. Maybe we should cut out the middle man here and just get Rung drunk enough to agree to a wet alt-mode contest.
No, I don’t have any idea how that would work.
In our next vignette, Rodimus comes into the comms room, Rewind trailing behind him like a grim shadow of death, to see what the hell Blaster wants, other than just the hugest glass of water.
Raiz’s work is very detailed, and you really feel the weight of these giant metal space robots, but everyone looks like they’ve been put through a food dehydrator.
We get a lot of build up to the character who’s about to be introduced, with a common opinion being shared amongst everyone- even Tailgate, who hates successful people like his life depends on it.
Lovely readers, put your hands together for the ideal male partner for Autobots, Decepticons, and Neutrals alike:
A man with so much charisma and charm that only Rodimus could hate him, Thuderclash brings to IDW what everyone wishes Optimus Prime would, making our disappointing space dad even more mediocre by comparison. He fights for justice, and freedom, and the good of the universe- and he does it all while having a chronic medical condition that forces him to stay within a certain distance of his ship that is also a life-support machine, otherwise he will die. Despite his handicaps, Thunderclash seemingly brings to others what they need most, even if they don’t even realize that they needed it in the first place.
He also, in this one scene, appeals to Drift’s religious sensibilities, does a secret best-friend dance with Ratchet (who he helped to pass his medical exams- yes, Ratchet), and congratulates Rodimus on his questing so far.
Thunderclash is one of those characters that everyone in-universe is supposed to love, and I completely buy it- because he’s completely genuine and humble about all of this the entire time.
Compare this to the last time Roberts wrote Thunderclash, in Eugenesis.
Where he was an ex-Decepticon.
And kind of an abrasive asshole.
And then he died.
Y’know, now that I think of it, Eugenesis Thunderclash and MTMTE Ambulon being basically the same character makes a whole lot of sense, even without the horrors of Roberts’ Twitter getting involved.
Thunderclash reveals that he, too, is on a quest to find the Knights of Cybertron, much to Rodimus’ chagrin. But first he needs the Lost Light to break out the jumper cables, and then for his second in command to stop threatening his life.
Turns out, not everyone is as obvious as the Cybertronians with their naming conventions. Whirl assassinated the wrong folks; I’m sure the Galactic Council is utterly thrilled. Paddox wants to steal the quantum engine technology for the good of his people, so they can kick the ass of the up-and-coming Terradore leader.
Completely unaware of the situation unfolding here in the lab, Swerve is directing Rung towards the warm, loving aura of Thunderclash for another go at winning the gentlemen’s wager- through the power of lying about having friends, Swerve’s “agreed” to get Rung Thunderclash’s autograph, in exchange for getting to check that Rung’s transformation cog is still working. Then they bump into the nightmare currently unfolding. My, whoever will save us from this dreaded menace, who holds a gun to the head of the Autobots’ greatest warrior, confidant, friend, and perhaps even lover?
How about a bartender and a giant vape pen?
Okay, so Rung doesn’t actually turn into a vape. It turns out that the Mystery of the Rungian Alt-Mode is also a mystery to the man himself. Because Rung is old as shit, the Functionists got to see this bullshit for themselves, and ended up testing him over and over and over trying to figure it out, lest he prove to be a flaw in their fascist ideologies. Fun fact: fascists HATE it when people they’re trying to oppress don’t play to their expectations.
The Functionists were the ones who gave Rung his little wheelie backpack, to make him at least appear useful. This sort of treatment tends to warp one’s head a bit, which would explain why he’s bothered to keep it for so long- internalized functionism’s a real bitch.
At least he’s not giving teenagers nicotine addictions under the guise of being somewhat better than cigarettes.
Back with Rodimus and Cybertron’s Autobot of the Year for 40,000 consecutive years, we get the unfortunate news that jump-starting Thunderclash’s ship is going to make the Quest go a bit slower for the Lost Light, much to Rodimus’ horror, though he does his best to put on a brave face; after all, that’s what heroes do, isn’t it?
It’s at this point that it’s revealed that “Little Victories” was being screened to all the Circle of Light members who didn’t get murdered or turned into Legislators on Luna 1, and man are these guys pissy. What was meant to be a recruitment video turned out to do just the opposite, because none of these guys want anything to do with what the Lost Light’s got going on.
Too bad Rewind didn’t have time for a cleaner cut for showing. Maybe they could have at least snagged a couple of these guys to tag along.
As all of the Circle of Light leave the theatre to go call everyone’s favorite Autobot to see if he needs a more crew members, the film plays on behind Skids, back to the interviews, as everyone promises more adventures just waiting on the horizon.
You’re not even on this trip anymore, you dork.
Chromedome gives us the title drop for the movie and issue, and we cut to Rewind organizing a group photo of all the interviewees.
And then Rewind died horribly like a week later. Thus ends season one of More Than Meets the Eye!
While I’m here, I’d like to take the time to cover a little bit of cut content from this issue, a scene between Drift and Ratchet.
Drift, during his interview, recalls the time that Ratchet called him into his office for a very serious discussion about his/Pharma’s hands.
Yeah, turns out they’re haunted.
Well, no, not really, because this is a prank. But Drift doesn’t know that yet.
Ratchet demonstrates this hand-haunting by punching Drift in the face, as he screams damnation at Pharma’s ghost. Drift, because he is a spiritual man, knows exactly what to do to deal with this possession; he draws his sword and chops Ratchet’s hands off, then throws them out the airlock.
This, too, is a prank, not that Ratchet knows it right away, yelling at Drift that he’s crippled him.
Clearly, these two belong together.
This bit of cut script was lucky enough to have gotten drawn by the colorist for MTMTE Season 1, Josh Burcham. Burcham’s line art is iconic- you won’t mistake him for anyone else. It’s rough and angular, and honestly just very charming. I’m a sucker for this sort of style. If you want to see his adaptation of this chunk of script- and trust me, you do- the link’s right here:
https://dcjosh.tumblr.com/post/107665292031/its-done-the-mtmte-22-deleted-scene-in-all-its
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(the anon who asked about the analysis of ggdd denying the couple thing) Actually I wasn't referring to that interview, I was referring to one where they got asked directly about their relationship where they responded that they were just friends and then xz called yibo "little friend" which yb got offended by. I can't for the life of me find the interview, I remember watching it at the begining of my stanning journey two months ago, and all the comments were very.. "see you make them uncomfy!"+
+ so I felt bad. Now that I look back on it I find it really weird that, 1, nobody here seems to talk about it despite being a direct refutal (not that they could say yes either way but) and 2, the fact that i don't think chinese media would ask them that directly about them possibly being in a relationship? Thats really weird, so I wonder if the video I saw was purposfully mistranslated. I think it might be in this vid? (anti account fuckery removed)
This is in reference to a previous post.
OK Anon, here I am trying to figure out what it is you’re talking about when I have no frame of reference (which is why I hope people will always include a link to the footage they are asking about), but I think I know which interview you are talking about.
But first I want to say, that link you provided A] Didn’t lead directly to interview footage (and I’m not digging for it there for reasons that will become obvious in my next point) and B] Was a link to one of the most virulent hater accounts on all of Twitter. If you are getting your information from that utter and complete asshole, then I can see why you are confused. Nothing that person says should be taken seriously. Everything they say is lies and misinformation and hate. I personally believe that is a paid anti account.
So I’m going to give you the real interview, the real translation and my take on it. Of course, fake, fan fiction, CPN.
The interview in question comes from a backstage session during GG’s visit to DDU for their 11th anniversary special. That interview is blocked on YouTube and can be hard to find, but you can see the whole thing in this Twitter thread. Also, the entire episode (without the backstage bits) can be found with English subs here.
The question they are asked during the interview isn’t “What is your relationship?” or “Are you two a couple?” or anything even remotely along those lines. The question is essentially, “Tell us what you think of each other.” They both respond that they’re really good friends. Which of course they are.
GG throws in ‘little’ to his answer, which pisses DD off, because he seems to hate anything that would appear to ‘separate’ the two of them, and whenever GG refers to DD as his junior, DD gets annoyed. Here DD kind of belabors the point a bit, that he doesn’t feel there’s a gap between them. GG laughs at how much DD is digging into it, and then finally agrees that there’s no gap.
There is some nervous tension in this interview and in some parts of the episode overall. For excellent analysis on why, I recommend checking out XiaoMan M’s series on YouTube:
youtube
youtube
I would also add that this is the first time that GG has come to visit/meet DD’s DDU family since they’ve been dating, so of course he’s going to feel a bit nervous. It would be like meeting the parents while cameras are rolling, trying to interact with people who know about your relationship while hiding that relationship from the cameras. For someone as shy as GG, it must have been a bit nerve-wracking.
Here’s the bottom line, Anon: No one is ever going to ask GG and DD point blank in an interview, what their relationship is. For one thing, censorship in China bans any depiction or ‘promotion’ of homosexuality, so even if they got an answer it wouldn’t be airable. Second, and more importantly, it would be extremely rude and out of line for an interviewer to ask that knowing that it could endanger GG and DD’s careers. No one is going to do that.
They are especially not going to do it at DDU, where DD has been working for years and is practically family. In fact, DDU are always looking out for DD and protecting him, covering for him when he slips up and says things that could reveal their relationship. There’s no way his DDU family would put him in the position that hater claims with that fake translation.
I urge you to stay away from hater accounts on Twitter. It’s unhealthy to be exposed to such toxicity. If you want good, honest information Tumblr is a better place to find it.
It’s been a very long time since I had any doubts about GG and DD being in a romantic relationship together, so I sometimes forget what it feels like to see things that might tend to call it into question. Rest assured, Anon, once you’ve become more familiar with the available info your doubts will almost certainly melt away.
And I want to leave you with one final point, and that is that if something isn’t being talked about by BXG at all then you can be fairly certain that it’s either A] Fake B] Doesn’t have the significance you are assigning to it (for example, GG posing next to a Pride bear for an ad) or C] Something that would endanger GGDD if it were made too public.
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