Wish You Were Sober
A/n: so, this is an AU because I love the song, and I love Conan, and I wanted to write a fic about it and I also love fuckboy!Reid. He could have been the douchiest guy in Caltech if he wanted to and no one can convince me otherwise. additionally, i know Caltech doesn't have frats but for the purpose of this, they do
Summary: Being in love with Spencer is exhausting when he only admits to his feelings for you when he's drunk
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (Angst/Fluff)
Content warning: heavy alcohol consumption
Word Count: 6.9k
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College can be exhausting. Even when it's not exam season and classes aren't too difficult, the parties, socializing, and friendships are attention-demanding.
It was always essential for Y/n to fit in. After high school, Caltech felt like a fresh start. Somewhere away from home where she could grow up into herself. A reinvention and a chance to be free.
The friendship-making started on her first day with her roommate, and then anyone the more extroverted girl chatted to. Y/n was grateful someone was there to make the introductions and get the invites to parties because she would have struggled on her own, and there was no one that made friends as quickly as Alexis did.
Lexi immediately gravitated towards Mason, who was somehow- and Y/n didn't exactly know how- involved in her ex-best friend's life in high school, who was a package deal with Miles, Spencer, and Ethan, and Y/n quickly discovered that being around them was always entertaining.
Even though the ordeals of their freshman year, all six of them managed to remain friends. Other people came in and out of their lives separately and as a group, but nothing stopped them from being friends.
Sophomore year only made their bond tighter, and Lexi and Y/n stayed sharing a dorm. They all saw each other almost every day, a rare feat according to other friend groups around campus.
Like a lot of afternoons, when Y/n got back to her room after classes, she could hear all five of them from Lexi's adjourning room. "Y/n, hey." She waved through the doorway as Y/n put her things down on her desk.
Once she was done, she walked into Lexi's room, noticing Mason's arm wrapped around Lexi's shoulder-an eyebrow-raiser- Miles and Ethan on the couch, and Spencer sitting on her desk.
Her room was more decorated than Y/n's with lots of pillows, a big tapestry, and a small fridge, hence why they all usually hung out in there.
"Hey, everyone who didn't have class." Y/n quipped, knowing most of them were probably still meant to be in class.
"Spencer here already finished the course," Ethan informed her, slapping his friend's back proudly. Y/n knew they were friends from back home in Vegas and they'd known each other for years.
Her mouth dropped wide open as she stood in the doorway. "No fucking way, the whole undergraduate engineering course?" Spencer looked up at her with his big brown eyes, pretty smirk, and chiseled features. He nodded at her, hair flopping up and down. "Unfair." She complained, but the statement was about everything regarding Spencer.
Not only were his smarts unfair, but he was gorgeous, easily the most gorgeous person she'd ever seen. Even his a-typical choice of clothing- collared shirts and dress pants- added to how charming he looked. It just wasn't fair that he was beautiful and intelligent. And now, it wasn't fair that he was finished with the class she was enrolled in, and she wouldn't get to daydream while looking at him
"If you need any help with it." He offered. Oh yeah, as if he couldn't get any better, he was kind, kinder than any 19-year-old boy she knew.
Mostly...
"Thanks." She smiled, trying not to blush too much.
Lexi, hitting Y/n's arm, drew her attention away from Spencer. "We need to plan your birthday party."
"Why?" Y/n complained, throwing her head back. She was being bugged about it for a week, but she'd hoped Lexi would forget it. "I'm turning 20, that's not exactly significant."
"It took 20 years and 100,000 slaves to build the Great Pyramid of Giza, which is the largest and oldest pyramid in El Giza." Spencer pipped up, joining the conversation with one of his odd facts. It really wasn't a surprise that he could finish a degree so fast when he retained random facts like that.
Lexi nodded at the information, clearly not as interested in it as Y/n was. "It's also, what's his name's birthday?" She asked, turning to the guy when his arm slung around her shoulder.
"Logan," Mason filled in the blank for her.
"Yeah, you know him, right, Y/n?" She asked, looking up at her friend.
Y/n didn't. At least, not really. She'd heard his name but all the faces of frat guys tend to blend together after a while. "Yeah, sure." She answered.
"Well, you just so happen to be birthday twins, and I just so happened to convince him to let you in on the celebrations." She announced the plan.
"It's a frat party, Lex, everyone's invited," Y/n stated, wondering if her friend had forgotten that obvious fact.
"Especially since you're girls," Miles added in before going back to his conversation with Spencer, Mason, and Ethan about basketball.
Lexi looked up at Y/n with big pleading eyes. "They're getting a massive cake and it'll have both your names on it. Plus, their frat house is awesome."
She sighed loudly, demonstrating her annoyance. Lexi's appeal as a friend was because of her hyper-social nature, but it had come back to bite her. "Okay, Lex, and thank you."
"Yay!" She squealed, springing up and wrapping her arms around the other girl. "We've got to go dress shopping, like, asap."
"You have class this afternoon." Y/n reminded her, mostly because she didn't want to go dress shopping.
Lexi threw her hand in the air nonchalantly. "Chem sucks, I can skip it."
"How did you actually get into Caltech?" She wondered, joking with her best friend.
"Still not sure." She answered, frowning for a moment. Checking over her shoulder to make sure the boys were still occupied, she pulled Y/n into her room: a clear sign some gossip was about to happen. "Okay, so your little genius boy's done with Engineering now and he's doing a masters so he can get his doctorate, but he's starting a chemistry degree."
Y/n's mouth dropped open again in astonishment before her brain caught up. "He's not my little genius boy." She emphasized, rolling her eyes at the subtle teasing. "If the word on the street's worth listening to, he's everyone's above-average genius boy."
Still, there was more gossip to come. "Most recently, Soraya, I heard," Lexi revealed the newfound information. "Mason told me."
Y/n didn't want to comment on the Spencer news, and she was thankful Lexi gave her a way out. "Yeah, what the hell is going on with you two?"
"Oh, just some drama with the ex-best friend, ex-girlfriend." Lexi answer, waving her hand around at the unimportance of it all.
"Sounding a toxic way to start a relationship, Lex," Y/n warned, not trying to scold her friend.
Lexi gave her an annoyed look, probably proving the point her friend was trying to make. "Not more toxic than being in love with someone with two opposite personalities."
"I'm not-"
Her defense quickly got interrupted. "Yo, are you guys coming to lunch or what?" Ethan asked, peeking his head around into the room.
Lexi linked her arm with Y/n, any feuding words between them a distant memory as they walked out of her bedroom together. "You guys eat like machines," Lexi commented, punching her maybe-boyfriend's arm.
The party came too soon for Y/n's liking. It wasn't that she hated going out, it had become what she was accustomed to a few times a month, but it was her birthday and she would have preferred a nice dinner with her friends, a movie, and some snack.
Like any good party, it had a theme: Princesses or Princes- an amendment that was quickly made- and Superheros. Although it wasn't her first choice, Y/n ended up in a glittery, tight, yellow dress that reached her mid-thigh. With enough makeup for backstage of Milan fashion week, Y/n and Lexi were leaving their place.
"No, you didn't!" Y/n squealed when they got onto the street, and a limo was waiting for them.
"I didn't," Lexi assured her. "But a frat guy who's keen on you did, and I let him."
She was definitely proud of herself and Y/n wasn't going to argue so together they got into the limo, letting it drive them the short distance to the frat house.
It was already loud. Even loud for a college party. The blaring hip-hop was too loud outside of the house and she didn't want to imagine what it would be like inside, but she quickly found out.
There were people everywhere, even outside, and there were even more of them inside. It was hot, too, no doubt from everyone's body heat.
After only being there for a few seconds, an arm was slung around her shoulder, and a drink was placed in her hand in a pink solo cup. "Hey, birthday princess." It was the birthday boy himself, grinning at her with a drunk smile.
"Nice outfit," Y/n commented, glancing down at the Superman boxers that Logan was wearing. Only Superman boxers. He fit all of the conveniently attractive boxes with his muscular figure from all the time he spent playing football. Apparently, he also had no shame, and if his reputation was anything to go by, he was the funny guy.
"I'll let you take them off me." He offered, winking at her to match the bold statement.
She was used to it, well, as used to it as one can be. "I'm not drunk enough for that." She bit back, knowing they all love it when you're mean to them.
"Drinks are over there, princess." He informed her, nodding into another room. "Find me when you've had enough."
Charming. "I will not take you up on that," Y/n assured him, nodding like she wasn't rejecting him.
"I got you a gift." He told her, removing his slightly sweaty bare arm from around her. In his other hand, where she hadn't been looking, was a gold crown and a red sash.
She then noticed he also had a crown on, a matching one. "Best gift I've gotten today." She proclaimed, mainly to inflate his ego. Who said she couldn't flirt with him for harmless fun?
"Mm, not until-" He was cut off by someone standing in front of them. "Yo, Reid, what's up?" Logan asked, clasping his hand and pulling him into a bro hug.
Spencer. In an extravagant blue suit with ruffles on his sleeves and around the neck. He'd clearly put a lot of work into his hair, and it looked like a founding father's, but it was kind of attractive.
Why everyone continued to call him by his last name, she didn't know, but it started when someone-someone stupid-assumed his name was Reid Spencer which wouldn't have been stupid had it not been written 'Reid, Spencer.' Now it was just what he went by.
"Sup, man," Spencer replied, his eyes locking with Y/n's. He might have been the first guy all evening not to stare directly at her tits. "Nice necklace." She glanced at the little rose charm, smiling at the fact he'd caught that little detail. "And happy birthday." He remembered before snapping out of his staring and turning back to Logan. "To both of you."
"Thanks, dude," Logan replied. "C'mon, they're doing kegstands outside." He said, tipping his head to the side. "You've gotta remind us all why you're number one."
Spencer gave her a little wave, turning with Logan to walk outside. "It's all about the attitude..." She caught just a few words as they walked away. For someone so intelligent, Spencer didn't always do smart things.
Then she stopped thinking about him, walking through the house to find someone else to talk with after she dumped the pink solo cup that Logan had given her.
It wasn't a bad party, probably one of the best she'd been to. There were enough people she knew for her to talk to and people she didn't know who came up to her, wishing her a happy birthday.
She was talking with some girl- Stacy, maybe- when she was forced to think about Spencer again. It came in the form of catching his eyes while he stood at the end of a table. There were cups in a triangle form in front of him, all 10 of them still there.
He looked unfairly pretty with the darkness and neon lights around him. And his eyes were locked on hers, ignoring the girl who Y/n knew to be Soraya beside him for a second.
He threw his head back with a white ball bounced into one of his cups, his Adam's apple becoming more prominent. Y/n couldn't hear what he was saying, but he leaned over to speak into Soraya's ear before she picked up his cup, drank a bit before holding it to Spencer's pretty pink lips and pouring the rest down his throat.
"You know, I heard he once bet 10 guys in a row, like not getting new cups." Stacy, or maybe Sara, informed her.
"It's the Math and Engineering degrees," Y/n mumbled to her.
Stacy, Sara, or Shelly nodded, clearly ready for more gossip. "I heard he's hooking up with Lexi-oh shit, I guess you already knew that, though."
Y/n had to consciously stop herself from having a noticeable reaction to the news. Her blood ran cold, and it was stupid because Spencer wasn't anything to her but a friend. Surely, Lexi wouldn't... maybe she would. "I'll have to ask her to confirm that one." She tried to joke, and it got the drunk girl laughing, but she couldn't bring herself to.
They talked for a while longer before they both got dragged away to talk to other people, but her thoughts were on Spencer and Lexi all night.
The evening wore on, her shoes were too tight, the alcohol was too warm, her friends had started to disappear, and the music was starting to give her a headache.
With Logan searching for her, it was time to get out of there. There were just too many people, so the best way she could think to leave was out a bathroom window.
In a tight dress, it was difficult, and her eyes snapped up from trying to maneuver herself when the door twisted open and a certain prince slipped inside.
"Spencer, what the fuck? Why are you in here?" She asked, sounding mad.
"I can pick locks." He casually informed her. Of course, he could because that was a completely normal skill.
Y/n still didn't move from her spot, eyes boring into his. "And what if I was peeing?"
He didn't look concerned, just shrugged and stood there. The perfect hairstyle that must have taken him a long time to do had become unkempt over the course of the night. "What are you doing, princess?"
She huffed at him, getting down from the window since it was really uncomfortable. "That's not my name."
Never did he refer to her by name, just some form of sarcastic nickname. Lexi tried to claim it as proof, which would be believable if he said it with a smile and not a smirk.
"Is it Soraya?" He taunted, tipping his head down to look at her.
"Shut up." She quickly replied, huffing out of her nose furiously at him.
Spencer chuckled at her, that stupid smirk that she wanted to smack on his face. He stepped closer to her, drawing her face up with a finger under her chin. The heat in her cheeks couldn't be cooled down by the cold breeze coming through the open window. She really didn't want to be so close to him, but she made no attempt to push him further away.
"You're cute when you're mad." He mentioned, tongue darting out along his lips.
There was no point in defending it. "Don't start." She warned, shaking her head and turning back around to look at her escape.
Another Spencer shrug as he stepped back and gave her some room to breathe without his intoxicating cologne. "So, what are you doing in here, Y/n L/n?"
"Leaving," Y/n replied firmly, spinning back around. She climbed up to the closed toilet seat so she could get on the window.
He came to stand next to her, resting against the wall as he watched what she was doing. "Why?" He pushed.
She could never work him out. Not with how his random questions. "Things to do."
"Mm." He hummed, still having all her attention on him. "Engineering homework or something?"
Another thing he was good at was getting information out of her without directly asking for it. "Fine, I just don't like anyone here, and I wanna go home."
His hand flew over his chest on top of where his head would be. "I'm hurt." He claimed dramatically.
"Okay, be hurt." She replied firmly. He was not going to have the last word. "It's my party so I think I can leave whenever I want." She hoped that would be the end of it, that Spencer would go back to her party and she could slip out the window unknown.
"Without Lexi?" He asked, tipping his head.
That stopped her dead in her tracks, freezing up again and she couldn't control her facial expressions as well around him as she could around near strangers. "Yes." She answered.
"Are you mad at her over some rumor you heard from Sierra?" He wondered, voice only getting firmer at the mention of the girl's name.
"Nope." She lied through her teeth. "Just think it's gross since she has a boyfriend who, might I add, is one of your good friends." Once again, she had her foot in her mouth, saying too much.
"We didn't." Spencer cut her off. His pretty smile flickered between genuine and smug.
A nod seemed emotionless like it was just another fact she learned, but she made it worse with her inability to shut up. "And how did you even know that? What Sierra said to me?"
Spencer chuckled. "I can-"
"Actually, I don't care." She cut him off, not really wanting to hear another word from him.
"I can lip read." He continued his previous statement. "And you shouldn't listen to bitchy gossip."
Y/n's eyebrows raised at that, a gloating feeling taking over her at what felt like a win. "She touched a nerve. What'd she do to get you pissed off?"
"She told everyone we were hooking up and then when. I swear to god, she's psycho." He revealed, clearly still vexed about what went on.
"It's probably true," Y/n mumbled under her breath, but she hoped Spencer heard it. "And I don't really care," She admitted. It was all an act to draw an emotion out of him that wasn't smugness. Hopefully, anger so he'd leave her alone. "Where's Lex?"
Spencer clenched his teeth together in a grimace. "That boyfriend you mentioned, I think they may have broken up." She moved off the window again, ready to go back out into the party as much as she didn't want to. A firm hand on her arm stopped her. "She's fine."
"She's my best friend," Y/n stated blankly. "I can't leave her here heartbroken."
"Ethan's taking her back to your apartment." Spencer continued explaining it all to her.
She half wondered why he didn't lead with that. "So? I need to be there for her." He really did not understand girl code.
"You know what she's like when she'd blackout drunk. She'll be out like a light when her head hits the pillow." He reminded her, and she was forced to think about why he was trying to get her to stay in the oddly clean frat house bathroom with him.
But she pushed down those bad feelings she usually had around him and ignored his oddness. "Great, so I'm going to go."
"Where?" He asked, continuing the conversation for no apparent reason to her.
"I don't know, the beach?" She offered.
"That'll take at least 8 and a half hours." He told her, again being unhelpful. "Come with me. We'll go find someplace to eat."
That might have been worse than going back to the party, and she quickly made her mind up. "No, plus it's 2:41."
"I can't leave you by yourself," Spencer claimed, although he left her emotionally alone all the time. "Especially at 2:41." He could see she was thinking about it, trying to weigh the pros and cons. "Come on, let me buy you your breakfast birthday." He all but begged.
Her eyes widened before she frowned. "It's past midnight, my birthday's over."
He shook his head. "Your birthday's today. Lexi got it wrong the first year, so now you pretend it's yesterday."
Her brain was split between feeling the happiness that came with the knowledge she was important to him and the deep concern about how he knew so much about her.
"Fine." She compromised hesitantly. "But we're going out the window."
"Ladies first." He said, holding out his hand to help her out of the window before getting out it himself.
It was much colder outside without the heat from other human bodies. As she walked her shoes only got more painful, the heels squeezing her feet in a way that would hurt less if she had more alcohol.
The cold grass seemed like a better alternative, and she found herself stopping to take the shoes off without any hesitation. Spencer stopped when he noticed she did, holding his hand out again to help her. He reached his other hand out to take the shoes from her while he threaded his fingers through her other hand.
Y/n didn't comment on the hand holding, choosing to completely ignore it. His long fingers had always felt like they fit perfectly with hers. Thankfully, or maybe not so thankfully, Spencer spoke before the silence got overwhelming. "Your flats are still in my car." He reminded her of something she didn't want to be reminded of.
He hadn't parked too far away and they quickly reached his car. "You can't drive." She told him when he got out his car keys.
"I can." He claimed, opening the passenger side door and motioning for her to get in.
"Friends don't let friends drink and drive. Give me the keys." She demanded, dropping his hand and holding it out so he'd give her the keys.
Spencer chuckled, and she could feel his warm breath on her cooler skin. "We're friends now?" He asked, frowning at her in a teasing manner. Y/n looked less than impressed, giving him another blank look. "I didn't have much, and it was hours ago." He promised.
"You can't prove that, and no offense, but I can't think of a worse way to die than in a car crash with you." She replied, increasingly annoyed at his petulance. Sometimes it was cute, but right now all she wanted was something to eat.
"Can so prove it," Spencer claimed, not giving her a split second to say something back before his lips were on hers. Dumbly, as usual, she let her eyes close and indulged in his warm lips against hers. Deepening the kiss, his tongue slipped into her mouth and she would have been able to taste the alcohol had there been any. He pulled back a second later. "Good enough?"
Her lips were still tingling like they always did, and she struggled with finding an answer to the question he asked. "Mm, yeah, you can drive."
He grinned wider than he needed to, placing a kiss on her cheeks before motioning for her to get into the car. She did, feeling her head spinning with his every action.
On the floor of the passenger side, there were her shoes. Simple white ballet flats with bows on them from that night.
~
It was her sophomore year at Caltech. Not the first party of the year, but still in the first semester. Y/n's romantic interests had gravitated close to Spencer than she would have liked after they came back from summer vacation. There were other people, of course, and she handed out her own and asked for other people's Snapchats each time they were out.
Spencer was definitely over the driving limit that night, and she had her arm wrapped around his waist as she guided him out of another loud house- a sorority house that time- to his car.
"What? This is your car?" She asked surprised when he unlocked the car.
"Yup." He replied, pushing back his floppy hair with the hand that wasn't around her shoulder.
She gave him a weird look, trying not to be too impressed with someone who had ignored her all night. "Get in." She instructed, nodding to the door before she walked around to the driver's side.
Spencer put his seatbelt on but his eyes stayed focused on her as she moved the seat far forward enough that she would be able to drive.
"You have to press it." He informed her, noticing she couldn't start the car.
She did and experimentally started driving the car, not her first choice of how to get comfortable in a car worth 6 figures. "I've got to say, you had me pretty fooled, Spencer." She confessed after they'd been driving in silence for a little while.
"Hmm, and why's that?" He wondered, a glassy look in his eye.
"I just didn't peg you as a Daddy's money California kind of guy." She explained, clearly in reference to his car. It was crazy how little she knew about him since they'd been friends for more than a year.
He froze in his seat, fingers tightening on the center console. She'd noticed he wasn't as in control when he wasn't sober. "You're so far off." He declared, his expression turning into a smirk. "I'm not even from California."
"Somewhere close, though. You're not east coast, and you definitely don't sound southern." She deduced, prompted to continue by Spencer's nod. "There's money in Colorado, but then you don't seem like the type to ski. Maybe Arizona?" She made her final guess as she parked the car up in front of his apartment after the short drive.
"Nevada." He told her. "Vegas, actually, but I don't come from money."
Y/n scoffed out a laugh, having to look at him properly to confirm whether or not he was serious. He was. "Where'd you get a Range Rover from then?"
"I'm from Vegas." He repeated. "And I can count cards." They'd been friends for a short enough time that he still could elicit a shocked reaction from her. "Was that an impressed look?"
"How would you even get into a casino?" She questioned skeptically, not wanting to believe another fact that proved how amazing he was. "No one would believe you're 21."
He shuffled in his seat, producing a wallet from his back pocket and pulling out an ID. By the birthday, it wasn't his own. "Not only do they believe I'm 21, they believe I'm 25."
"Wow, with your babyface, they've got to be incredibly gullible." She teased while he put the fake ID alongside his real one.
"So, you think I'm cute, is what I'm hearing?" He wondered, a victorious grin going along with his lit-up eyes.
Y/n shook her head with a giggle. "If that helps you sleep at night." She joked, earning a louder than expected laugh from him.
"It will," Spencer confirmed, facing inching closer to hers. She hadn't realized how close they really were until then when she could smell the vodka on his breath. "This will too." He added quietly, leaning further until his nose brushed hers, and she tilted her head to the side so she could kiss him.
It wasn't their first kiss, but it was much more passionate and he cupped her cheeks, wrapping his fingers around the back of her neck so he could press their faces closer together. His tongue traced her bottom lip, slipping into her mouth when she parted her lips.
The pounding in her chest was loud, her heart thumping against her rib cage as she poured all the affection she had for him into the kiss.
When she ran out of air, she pulled back, but Spencer kept his hands on her face. "You're making this a habit, Spencer." She warned although she'd give in time and time again with no resistance. Maybe she just needed more boundaries.
"Actually, scientists think it takes 18 to 254 days to create a habit." He informed her smartly and then his lips were on hers once again. "So, we could?"
She shook her head, that better judgment side taking over finally. "No, we can't." She decided, a tiny glimmer of hurt in her eyes. She really couldn't give him the opportunity to let her down when she promised herself this year would be different. "You can't be drunk every night for a good part of the year."
He accepted that as an answer like the question was casual. "Thanks for driving me. I'll come by and get my car tomorrow, if that's okay?" He was already getting out of the car before he finished the question.
"You're going to let me drive this home?" Y/n spat back in surprise.
Spencer just shrugged, shifting on his feet on the sidewalk. "Yeah, I trust you."
She wished she wouldn't read into things he said so thoroughly. "See you tomorrow then." Shutting the car door, he waved goodbye to her before she drove off.
~
She slipped the shoes onto her feet, grateful he hadn't thrown them out. His car still smelt like it did back then, clean and the backseats were tidy too.
"Where are we going?" She asked once they were on the road, snapping out of her daydream.
"Somewhere close," Spencer replied as ambiguously as possible. "You'll like it."
She looked at him for another moment, taking in his side profile that was unfairly gorgeous before deciding there was nothing she needed to say to him.
"Your necklace... I remember it." He realized, glancing at her when they were stopped at a traffic light.
Her fingers were on it again, adjusting it meaninglessly. "I wore it like once in freshman year." She recalled, remembering another night they'd been together.
~
They'd both had too much that night. After drink after drink at another loud party, Y/n knew she needed to walk it off in the cooler October air. Spencer noticed her leaving alone and ran as well as he could despite the fact he was drunk to catch up with her.
"Where are we going?" Spencer wondered, walking alongside her.
The sudden voice in her ear made her jump, heart thumping in fright about who it was until she turned to see Spencer. "Trying to give me a heart attack?" She asked.
"Maybe." He answered. "Although there are other ways I could do that if you're interested."
"I'm not." She assured him, shaking her head. "What are you doing walking with me?"
He stopped for a moment right in the middle of the pavement, and she stopped with him, curious about what he was doing. In a second, he had shrugged his jacket off. She was still frowning at him when he draped it over her. "You looked cold." He explained.
"Thanks." She smiled, slipping her arms into it before they started walking again. The kind gesture was a complete 180 from how he had been treating her the whole night. "You've been kind of weird tonight." She said, the alcohol pulsing through her making her more honest than she would have liked.
"Do you really know me well enough to say that?" He asked in reply, but his tone was angry, it was genuine.
In truth, she didn't know much about him. He'd mentioned his favorite color once, and she knew he was incredibly smart, but more than anything, the only thing she knew about Spencer was how he made her feel.
"Maybe not." She decided before backtracking. "I can pick up on a vibe, though."
"Long week." He claimed, face falling slightly before he perked up again. "Rumor has it, there's something going on with you and Rich-"
Y/n cut him off before he could continue. "Nope. Whoever made that up was delusional."
A scoff came from him. "Good because otherwise, during sex you'd be moaning out dick." His laughter at his own comment was loud.
"Ew. Please don't think about me having sex." She requested, screwing up her face.
He sighed, throwing his head back dramatically. "When you tell someone not to do something, they're going to do it, princess."
Again she grimaced, trying to shake the image out of her head. "Yuck."
"Let's go to mine." Spencer decided, completely changing the conversation topic. They had reached the point in their walk where a left would take them back to Y/n's and a right to Spencer's.
"I wanna go home and sleep." She asserted, denying his request and turning to walk back to her place.
He grabbed her hand to stop her, pulling her body back to face his. "We've got candy, though. Plus, I'm only going to make it one way and if we go to yours, I'm going to have to sleep on Lexi's couch which...well, that would just be torture."
She couldn't really say no to his pretty hazel eyes that flickered under the street lights and focused directly on her. Then there was his perfect grin, dopier than usual. "Okay, fine." She agreed. It may have been naive but she was 18 and she knew Spencer was a good person with some boyfriend potential.
The walk, thankfully, wasn't that far, and Spencer kept the conversation going about how she was finding her engineering degree since he would be starting his own in the second semester.
"Did I tell you how pretty you look?" He asked when they reached the door of his and Ethan's apartment, leaning against the wood instead of actually unlocking the door.
Y/n rolled her eyes, a blush taking over her cheeks. "No." She replied, gazing down at her shoes instead of meeting his eyes.
It wasn't the first time either that night that he cupped her cheeks and forced her to look up at him, and it wasn't the first time she had been diving into kiss his pink lips.
He kissed her harder back and his hands traveled down to her hips to pull her body closer to his. She looped her arms around his neck, fingers tangling in her head as they all but made out on his doorstep. It was messy, rushed and everything she wanted in her drunk mind.
Her heart was thumping, the blood rushing through her veins faster and her head spun as he kissed her passionately. The taste of vodka would have been easier to distinguish if she didn't taste the same.
For a moment, they pulled apart to get some air. "Stay over," Spencer mumbled, his lips brushing hers. She pulled back further, a little in shock by the offer and unable to figure out his motive. The surprised look on her face got Spencer talking. "Not so I can sleep with you, so I can sleep beside you." He clarified.
Sleeping beside him, waking up next to him, and maybe getting to kiss him was enough of an incentive for her to agree.
~
"Oh, you left it on my bedside table and asked Ethan to get it back to you." Spencer recalled, clearly remembering more of the morning after.
"Stupid, I know." She agreed, placing her fingers flat on her forehead. "I'll never hear the end of that."
He scoffed, rolling his eyes as they both laughed. "You'll never hear the end of that? I'll never hear the end of that."
When the laughter died down, Spencer turned another corner and they were pulling into a Starbucks drive-through. "Starbucks?" She asked, turning to look at him blankly. "I was expecting something 5 stars."
He looked worried for a second, before properly reading her expression as playful. "It's 3 am." He defended, voice reaching a higher pitch.
Y/n shook her head, teasing him further. "Excuses, excuses."
"Just tell me what you want," Spencer instructed, trying to sound firm but smiling. "Then we're going to go to the beach." She chose not to argue, telling him what she wanted and sitting back in the seat while he got her what she wanted.
Unlike during the daytime, the drive to the beach was quick by LA standards. For a while, she stared out the window and watched the lights of the city flash past her as they drove through the familiar roads.
"Do you actually let people eat in your car?" She asked when he bit into what he had chosen while driving. The car almost looked too clean for anyone to sit in it.
"No, only me." He answered, smirking at her. That was all the permission she needed to start eating her own early breakfast.
For the rest of the journey, they sat in silence, both watching the road go by and the cars drive past them before he pulled the car into a park that overlooked the ocean.
"You know, we're not actually going to be able to see the sun rise from here?" She teased him, eyes pulling away from the dark beach in front of them to him.
"Actually, I did know that." He assured her with a chuckle. "But, this way, you get the pretty colors in the sky without having to look into the sun. Plus, if you want a proper sunrise, we'll have to drive cross country."
It sounded exactly in between a dream and a nightmare. "I think that's what they call an abduction."
"You're funnier than people give you credit for." He told her sincerely, and it was enough to have her heart flipping in her chest. "I got you a gift." He announced, leaning over to her seat and opening the glove box before pulling out a black, small rectangular shaped box with a red bow around it.
"Spencer, thank you, but you really didn't have to." She said gratefully and slightly confused.
He shrugged, smiling as he watched her play with the bow. "I wanted to."
She looked back up at him with a grin before turning her attention back to the present and opening it. Inside the box laid a gold-shaped rose, an infinity rose, she knew. "Spencer..." She trailed off in awe, unsure of what to say as she met his eyes. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." He replied before a sudden wave of nerves hit him. Something she seldom saw from him. "I didn't really know- what, um, what you'd like-"
"It's perfect. Thank you." She cut him off before he could continue, leaning forward and kissing him before she could stop herself.
It felt like the most natural thing to do in that situation, like there was something hard-wired in her brain that compelled her to lean forward and kiss him whenever she felt that overwhelming sense of happiness.
Spencer kissed her back more tentatively than he usually did like he was holding something back and he didn't even attempt to pull her in for another kiss.
"Sorry." She rushed out an apology, dipping her head down to avoid the embarrassment of looking at him.
"Don't be." He stopped her spiraling, reaching down to hold her hand. "You can do that whenever you want."
Y/n shook her head, trying to be firm with herself. "No, I can't. We actually need to stop doing this whenever we're drunk." She stated, motioning between the two of them with her finger.
"We're not drunk." He reminded her. It was more because he needed the truth rather than he was trying to play devil's advocate.
"You usually only kiss me when you are, though." She countered, sounding more hurt than she wanted to.
It wasn't that he hurt her purposefully, it was that she kept letting herself indulge in the fantasy for too long, and now that she was entering a new decade, it was time for her to grow up and be realistic.
"You think I don't want to kiss you all the time?" He asked, sounding almost rhetorical. Her silence gave him an answer. "I do, and I want to tell you I love you every single day, but I never seem to be able to. Honestly, I don't even try to find a time to tell you anymore, I just do it when I'm drunk enough that it doesn't matter and I'm sorry that it hurts you."
"What are you trying to say?" Y/n stopped him again. Her heart had started speeding up as she felt them getting inevitably closer to the truth being revealed.
He took a deep breath, and she sat there hoping it wasn't just to draw out suspense. "I love you."
Even if it didn't for Spencer, she felt all the tension dissipate and her eyes widened slightly before she felt that all-consuming sense of joy flow over her again.
Once again, her lips were on his again, but he kissed her back firmly that time, pulling her closer to him and refusing to break the kiss until the very last second.
"I love you, too."
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