#equals even in early scenes when trying to sell that guy like. i just think it's a cool thing to explore

[mwagneto]

i think ricky has the potential to be such a cool parallel to stede with how much he tries to relate himself to him with the whole thing about how they both come from money but then clearly showing that he has no respect for anyone that isn't upper class, plus based on the trailers it very much looks like he goes running back to the empire and his inherited wealth after his stupid actions inevitably caught up with him, i just think it is/will be really interesting to see why stede ended up fitting in but ricky didn't

#it's abt genuinely wanting to break away from the empire vs taking a silly little vacation among the poors #like dgmw stede was very silly and naive too but he treated everyone in nassau like his #equals even in early scenes when trying to sell that guy like. i just think it's a cool thing to explore #ofmd #our flag means death #stede bonnet #ofmd s2 #ofmd spoilers #ricky ofmd #richard banes

[vidavalor]

Speaking of underrated horny metaphor moments... Aziraphale directing Crawly directing the fake birth via oxribs after the oxrib night... HELLO?! My eyes just about popped out of my head XD.

So very horny and so very ridiculously funny. I swear that if you don't completely lose it laughing at "Remember me? BILDAD THE SHUITE!", I don't even want to know you lol. Very early Aziraphale being that dry and dirty was hilarious. He's such trouble. :) We all go on about the ox ribs in the cellar and in the scene with the angels (as we should lol) but I think the inbetween hours get ignored and they're equally underrated...

They're on a walk together in the middle of the night when they happen upon God speaking to Job. They snuck out of the cellar after the rain had stopped but while it was still night and they wouldn't be noticed to go for a walk together alone and then, later, once it's daylight, we see Aziraphale arrive late for the angels arriving to "lo, behold, we murdered your kids!" Job and Sitis. At first, we think he's late to the meeting because he and Crowley have been hatching out a plan but oh no no no no lol... they do not have a shred of a plan. Aziraphale basically make the whole thing up in the moment Bildad busts in. Aziraphale's entire plan was 'um maybe find a way to fake rebirth the old kids or something idk' and when Crowley comes in, he now has the help he needs to actually do it, but it's *very* clear that they had absolutely no plan going into the meeting.

"It would be helpful if you were an expert in human births?" says the angel who might have wanted to mention that at some point-- ANY POINT lol-- in the last, like, 14 hours that they've had to work out this plan, now forcing Bildad to try to sell 'professional midwife/cobbler' to Michael (and sell he does lol.)... My point is that if they left to take a late night walk together and then both were outside when the angels appeared to Job and Sitis, then they stayed out all night together, during which time they were not making a plan and then Aziraphale was late to work. They went on a walk to look at the stars and the stormy sky and talk some more and find a somewhat secluded place they could then watch the sunrise together. Maybe somewhere at the beach where they are at the end of the minisode. They nearly made Sitis have seven! more! children! because they lost track of time making out lol.

If you run into that guy you've got all that chemistry with and then spend the next day helping each other with work in between flirting, getting dinner, staying up all night talking, going for a romantic stargazing walk in the aftermath of a storm, watching the sun come up together, losing track of time and nearly missing work because you're so into one another, and then meet up later at the beach and basically have your conversation confirm what you already know, which is that you're soulmates, well... that's a good first date, yeah?

It is a little sad though when you consider that the episode prior to this is 2.01, which is heavy on the emphasis of how Crowley doesn't stay overnight in the bookshop as part of their efforts to keep their relationship quiet. (That the first night we know of that he ever does, later in the week, is without Aziraphale and with Gabriel, is absolutely the stuff of Crowley's dreams and by that I mean his nightmares. Poor guy just wants to kiss the angel and it's always Gabriel or a statue of him getting in the way lol.) The Job minisode might still be one of the only times they've managed to be together all night.

#ineffable husbands #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #good omens 2 #good omens meta #aziracrow

[getmemymicroscope]

I think I much preferred The Big Short, partially because of star-cast (don't get me wrong, the cast here in general is pretty awesome), partially because it showed people with maybe some sort of moral compass (a few; though, in retrospect, that may have been pretty unrealistic - but still, it gives a little, very little, hope for humanity), and partially, I guess, because it tried to make the story more mass-friendly.

The Big Short broke down all these weird terms they used, using guest stars and literally writing out definitions and what-not. And it was, in that sense, a more fun movie: even if you knew how it was going to end, because they made it fun.

Margin Call made no qualms about trying to be fun. Which isn't a bad thing, mind you - this was not a fun thing, or a fun time, and they were very real (or so I assume). Which is fine, and makes for a great movie - it's just not as fun of a Sunday watch/pick-me-up. In fact, it really isn't a pick-me-up at all, but then, that was never the goal.

The movie starts with a bunch of people getting laid off, and then it tracks the next 24 hours as things just get worse-and-worse. The very beginnings of the financial crisis. Very real. Where it really falls behind The Big Short (which released 4 years after this) - this movie actually released about 18 months after The Big Short book did, but I'm pretty sure The Big Short (which I've never read) was probably a bit less guest star-studded - is that Margin Call doesn't have time to fully explain the terms to you. Sure, they have a couple of characters who pretty much say "dumb it down for me" when requesting an explanation of something, but the ensuing result really isn't very dumbed-down. And with the movie starting where it does, you pretty much have to pick it up on the fly - and pick it up immediately.

The other thing this movie really does a good job of showing: the cost of business, if you will. The corporation, obviously, is entirely heartless. But from the get-go, you start learning that almost everyone within the corporation is equally heartless. In fact, the only real exceptions (because they have a quarter-of-a-heart; no one is truly empathetic, or shows really the slightest humanity until they're in trouble) may be Stanley Tucci, fired very early on, and maybe, just maybe, Penn Badgley, who ironically spends most of the movie being entirely heartless. In fact, he's not really truly full-of-heart, even with him at one point asking about "the normal people" (before Paul Bettany goes on a rant about them), it seems like mostly he's just worried about losing his job.

Spacey - yeah, I know - appears to show some reservations early on, but then he completely shifts by the end because he needs money, apparently. Zachary Quinto, too, goes from "what is right?" to taking a promotion. Demi Moore pays the price, in the end - not because she suddenly developed some empathy or humanity (she didn't), but because they needed a "fall guy." Simon Baker and Jeremy Irons are asshats, thru-and-thru.

I think there are two very telling scenes about the 'big guys' and their disconnect from everyone else (and, with that, their entire lack of heart and exactly why all these guys are complete asshats). The first, very early on, is when everyone is getting laid off and they cut to Spacey, who is crying because his dog is dying (sad, admittedly) but doesn't seem even slightly perturbed that almost his entire floor has been laid off. And not just laid off, but escorted out of the building by security in front of everyone else. He then manages to walk out and given an entire speech about "a lot of your competition for promotion is no longer with the company."

The second is near the end. After a successful sell-off, Baker walks in and tells Spacey "hey, we're laying off a bunch of people who just did what we needed, starting right now." Spacey storms off to meet with Irons - who is chillaxing in a restaurant apparently atop their building, calmly eating a meal in an otherwise empty room. Spacey threatens to quit, Irons asks him to stay and gives some stupid speech about "this always happens/we're not bad," and then Spacey is like "fuck it, I'll stay because I need money." And that's it. He leaves, paycheck guaranteed.

I think we're supposed to feel for Spacey, based on the very ending of the movie, but really, he's just as much a sell-out and part of the problem as everyone else. I don't think you really walk out thinking of anyone as a 'hero' or even really a 'human.' They're all just willing cogs in a heartless, anti-human machine where the entire goal is to make sure that the company, and the head asshats in charge, make money, humanity be damned.

It's pretty damning about the thought-process of such people in charge of such corporations - see, again, Bettany's monologue about the "normal people" (side-note: he may have a point about some of those people) - and, even more so, it's sad (and yet, completely unsurprising) that nothing has changed in the 14 years since the crisis/11 years since this movie released.

Irons, I think, has this whole thing about "money is just paper," which is funny, because if you were like "it's just paper, stop ruining the world and people's lives so you can have a bit more that you don't need," the character would obviously tell you to fuck off and then go ruin more lives just because he can.

Humanity - it isn't difficult, but clearly a lot of people have no interest in having any of it. No matter what the long-term cost to people, or the planet.

I knew, sort of, what I was getting into when I turned this on, but damn ... it definitely did not make for a pleasant, light-hearted Sunday viewing.

#movies #movieblr #gmmm does movies

[shotofire]

Ethereal

Levi Ackerman x F!Reader

(Requested) I changed a small part of it, I hope you don’t mind anon.

Overview: Levi has an s/o who works at a flower shop

Warnings: Cursing, smut mention, age gap (legal of course), mentions of death

Season: Not specified, but I imagine it in the 1-2 range

-

Most knew about the flower shop by the name of Sweet Stems within the walls of Rose. It’s funny, really, to have that kind of shop behind a wall with the same name as a flower. It’s been in the same spot for years, selling the most vibrant and smell good flowers anyone has ever encountered. Business hasn’t been slow since day one, everyone adored the place.

Women grew up dreaming a boy would buy them beautiful flowers from the shop. It’s a vibrant spot on a world of grey and fear, and everyone wants a peice of it. Most felt as if they’ve stepped into another world once they’ve gone in, and that’s why Levi Ackerman loves it so much. He’ll sneak off during his free time just to smell the flowers and bask in their energy.

Sometimes Levi can’t stop himself from buying a bouquet, falling in love with how it makes him feel. His favorite are the purple lavender flowers, the smell reminds him of his mother. It brings him comfort and warmth to have them around, to smell them whenever his mind is struggling.

Everytime he goes it’s the same sweet old lady standing behind the counter with a smile. She has a strong liking for Levi, he reminds her of someone she once knew in her younger years. “My granddaughter is going to start helping me out, so I won’t always be here.” She’d said to him one day, but he didn’t think much into it. He assumed it would be a child trying to make extra money for toys.

Levi was pleasantly surprised when a beautiful women approached him on his next visit, asking him if he was in need of assistance. Honestly, calling the girl beautiful is an understatement. She’s absolutely breathtaking, and had Levi at a loss for words. Her eyes sparkled when she spoke, and a smile was on her face. “Are you a regular?” She’d asked once he’d come back a week later, buying the same lavender flowers as before. “Somewhat.”

There’s no denying the mans attractiveness. Even with the stone cold expression she can feel his warmth within. “I’m y/n, possibly the new store owner.” Her hand was held out for him to take, and he accepts it. “I’m Levi.” “Oh, my grandmother has told me about you,” her eyes light up, “she said that you’re a kind soul.” No one has ever referred to him as that, most found him extremely intimidating. It was refreshing to know someone didn’t see him that way.

Visit after visit Levi began talking to her more. Conversation wasn’t his strong suit, but her personality made it easy. Everything he said, even the most random things, somehow she could say something about it. “How come you only buy Lavender?” She’d asked him as he was checking out, and he froze up. The old women had never asked him that so he assumed the question would never come up.

She saw the way his body stiffened and immediately regretted asking. “I, um, i’m s-sorry, it’s none of my business. I just didn’t know if you were buying them for a possible girlfriend or something-“”They remind me of my mother.” He cut her off from her rambling. “She died when I was really young and the smell makes me remember things about her that age has taken away from me,” there’s a small smile on his face. As if talking about it somewhat makes him feel better. “That’s wonderful.”

There was no clarification of when the relationship started. Maybe it was when she’d closed up the shop and he’d kissed her under the moonlight. Or maybe it was in her bedroom when he’d stripped her bare and kissed every inch of her skin. There’s no denying they are a couple, and Levi is madly in love. He noticed early on that her smell changed with the day. Sometimes she’d smell of lily’s, violet’s, or tulips, but his favorite on her is orchids.

Being with someone in the survey corps is hard on the young girl, even if many have said Levi is the worlds strongest soldier. She’s witnessed the titans unruly actions and it scared her senseless. But it was too late to turn back, her heart was already smitten with his. Months went by of laughter and kissing, and getting to know one another.

Levi didn’t like talking about his profession, it was too dark for her light heart. She made him feel as if nothing bad could happen as long as he is with her. It didn’t take much convincing for her to get him to occupany her on a picnic. They laid there in a field of flowers, looking up at the clouds. “That one looks like a elephant,” she says, her eyes doing the beautiful sparkle that he loves. Seeing her like this made him feel all tingly.

“You’re ethereal.” Her head turned quickly to him, seeing the pure adoration in his face. “T-Thank you.” He always knew how to have her stumbling over her words. They stayed like that for a moment, looking into each other’s eyes. Levi was first to break the silence, “I love you.” That isn’t something he just says, honestly he doesn’t think he’s ever said it. Not even to his mother, not that he can remember. “I love you,” she said back with a growing blush. His lips are quick to attack to hers under the warmth of the sun.

His comrades noticed his growing absences. It’s not like the man needs training, he’s strong and skilled beyond most. Yet they still found it odd and wondered where he always ran off to. “Where are you going?” Hange asked while she stepped infront of him, blocking his way out. “Don’t worry about it.” He slipped underneath her arm that was pressed against the wall next to her, running off before he could be stopped.

“He wouldn’t tell me!” Hange says in a frustrated tone, hands flying in the air. Erwin is determined to know where the man is running off to just like Hange. “What if we followed him?” Hange asks. The commander knows it’s a total invasion of privacy, but he can’t help himself. And even if he doesn’t follow through Hange is going to anyway.

It’s a beautiful day and the sky is clearer than it’s been in weeks. As soon as Levi saw the bright sun above he knew it’s a perfect time to see y/n. It’s a Sunday so the shop is usually closed, so he’ll walk to her home only a block away.

You’d think the worlds strongest soldier might notice a pair of nosey friends following him. But his mind is set on her, and what’s infront of him. Hange and Erwin are close behind, but not too close, making sure to keep their distance as best as possible. They hide behind corners a few times to let Levi get more ahead.

The walk began to feel like forever to the prying two, then Levi begins to approach a small home decorated in vines and flowers. It looks straight out of a fantasy book, definitely not this mans type of scene. He looks out of place standing infront with a black jacket on his upper half and dark brown pants on his lower.

Levi knocks on the wooden door and Hange doesn’t even blink as she waits for it to open. She literally lets out the loudest gasp that has anyone nearby turning their heads to look. Erwin is about to thump the back of her head but he’s soon left speechless as well. The door has opened, and the beautiful girl Levi has grown so fond of wraps her arms around his neck and presses a kiss to his lips.

“There’s no fucking way,” Hange says as she rubs her eyes. “I’m dreaming right? I’m going to wake up soon.” She keeps letting out random phrases. Erwin is surprised too considering all his years he’s known the man. At this point the commander wasn’t even sure if Levi was interested in girls, or let alone people.

“She’s beautiful,” Hange says while inching closer. Erwin grabs her shoulders and pulls her back, “Remember we are not supposed to be here.” He can definitely agree that she’s beautiful, and obviously a bit younger than the captain. He wondered how a girl like her had even met Levi.

Hange can’t help but giggle at the sight of thr girl kissing Levi’s cheek as heat rises to his face. “Oh my gosh- he’s blushing! Have you ever seen Levi have that look on his face?” “I definitely have not.” The comrad’s felt as if they are looking at a whole different person. In a way they were, this is a different side of Levi that only comes out for y/n.

“I want to go say something, I don’t even care if it pisses him off,” Hange says and she moves too quickly for Erwin to stop her. “Hange, no! Fucking shit.” Shes next to the couple in an instant and Levi almost faints when he sees his friends face. “What the hell are you doing here?” Is the first thing he asks, with a wildly confused look in his eyes.

The beautiful mystery girl, to Hange and Erwin, looks at the stranger with equal confusion. She didn’t know of Levi’s comrades or even how living situations worked. “Erwin and I,” Hange motions to the commanders frame peaking around a nearby corner, “wanted to see where you’ve been sneaking off to for months, and now we know.” “So you guys invaded my privacy?”

Hange rolls her eyes at him instantly, “Whatever, we just wanted to make sure you weren’t doing some weird stuff.” She turns her attention to the unnamed person before her, “I’m Hange, a comrad of Levi’s, nice to meet you!” “I’m y/n.” The two shake hands. “And what are you to dear, sweet little Levi?” It takes everything in him to not yell at Hange to leave right now. “I, um, i’m, his girl- well-“ “She’s my girlfriend, so please don’t scare her off.” Weight comes off the girls shoulders as Levi answers for her.

As said before, the relationship has never been established. It hasn’t even been labeled. So to be asking her that infront of Levi she wasn’t too sure what to say. But Levi calling her his girlfriend makes her feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. “Well i’ve gotten all the info I need, carry one.” Y/n definitely is beyond confused with what’s happening, and not used to Hange’s odd personality.

Before Hange can say anything else, or Erwin decides to but in, Levi is pushing y/n inside her home and slamming the door behind him. “Wha-“”Anywhere we go today my nosey comrades are going to follow,” there’s a dark look on his face, the same one he has that makes her knees weak, “so we are stuck inside.” Maybe it’s the annoyance with Hange and Erwin, or the fact that she looks stunning right now... little bit of both... but Levi just wants to get his hands on her.

His hands rest on her waist and she shivers, the slightlest touch feeling like waves. One hand trails up her waist, fingers pressing to the delicate skin of her neck. “I’m sorry they interrupted our day. Can I make it up to you?” She nods frantically and he smirks, “Use your words.” “Yes, please.” He immediately connects his lips to hers softly, slowly beginning to lead to her bedroom.

Today she smells of orchids.

#attack on titan #attack on titan season 4 #attack on titan x reader #levi #ackerman #levi ackerman #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi imagine #levi ackerman imagine #levi fanfic #levi ackerman fanfic #levi ackerman fanfiction #levi fanfiction #anime #imagine #love #fanfic #romance #smut #levi x (y/n) #captain levi #levi ackerman x (y/n) #levi x f!reader #levi ackerman x f!reader #levi ackerman request

[stereostevie]

When you think of grunge, do you picture a bunch of long-haired White guys in plaid shirts, singing about teenage angst and self-loathing? Time to expand that viewpoint. Standing above them all should be Tina Bell, a tiny Black woman with an outsized stage presence, and her band, Bam Bam. It’s only recently that the 1980s phenom has begun to be recognized as a godmother of grunge.

This modern genre’s sound was, in many ways, molded by a Black woman. The reason she is mostly unknown has everything to do with racism and misogyny. Looking back at the beginnings of grunge, with the preconception that “everybody involved” was White and/or male, means ignoring the Black woman who was standing at the front of the line.

Bam Bam was formed as a punk band in 1983 in Seattle. Bell, a petite brown-skinned spitfire with more hairstyle changes than David Bowie, sang lead vocals and wrote most of the lyrics. Her then-husband Tommy Martin was on guitars (the band’s name is an acronym of their last names: Bell And Martin), Scotty “Buttocks” Ledgerwood played bass, and Matt Cameron was on drums. Cameron would leave the band in its first year and go on to fame as the drummer for Soundgarden and Pearl Jam. But he paid homage to his beginnings by wearing a Tina Bell T-shirt in a photoshoot for Pearl Jam’s 2017 Anthology: the Complete Scores book.

“For some reason a couple of skinheads are up front, calling her [the N-word] And all of the sudden, Bell grabs a microphone stand and she starts swirling it around her head like a lasso… She swung that fuckin’ thing around her head and about the fourth time, she smashed that son of a bitch.”

Bam Bam’s sound straddled the line between punk and something so new that it didn’t have a name yet. Their music combined a driving, thrumming bass line; downtuned, sludgy guitars; thrashy, pulsing drums; melodic vocals that range from sultry to haunting to screamy; and lyrics about the existential tension of trying to exist in a world not designed for you. The band’s 1984 music video for their single “Ground Zero” is low-budget, but Bell’s charisma seeps through.

“She was fucking badass. That’s all there is to it. She was amazing as a performer. I’ve only seen one White male lead singer command the stage in a similar way that Tina Bell did, and that was Bon Scott of AC/DC,” says Om Johari, who attended Bam Bam shows as a Black teenager in the ’80s and who would go on to lead all-female AC/DC cover band Hell’s Belles.

Christina King, a Seattle scenester who was close friends with Bell from 1984 until the early ’90s, says the singer’s talent was obvious. But she believes a lot of people dismissed Bell as a gimmick.

Among those attending their shows: Future members of grunge bands like Nirvana (Kurt Cobain did a stint as a Bam Bam roadie), Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, and Pearl Jam.

“I remember one person saying to me that they didn’t get ‘the whole Black girl singer thing,’ it just didn’t fit whatever they were into,” says King. “They were too ahead of their time.”

Bam Bam came into being in an era when hundreds of underground clubs, taverns, bars, and social halls — anywhere that you could cram in a band — were within the Seattle city limits. Bam Bam played almost all of them, and often to big crowds: The Colourbox, Crocodile Lounge, Gorilla Gardens, Squid Row — just to name a few.

Among those attending their shows: Future members of history-making grunge bands like Nirvana (Kurt Cobain did a stint as a Bam Bam roadie), Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, and Pearl Jam. Not to mention all the other people, mostly White and male, who would become prime targets for music labels trying to market this new sound.

Bell “already possessed everything they were trying to attain. She had a truer rock and roll spirit than almost any of those guys in that town. Everything they tried to do, she naturally was,” says Ledgerwood, still a loyal bandmate.

One Seattle club, The Metropolis, became “like our fucking living room,” says Ledgerwood. It was also the site of an overtly racist verbal assault against Tina Bell.

“For some reason a couple of skinheads are up front, calling her [the N-word],” Ledgerwood recalls. “And all of the sudden, Bell grabs a microphone stand and she starts swirling it around her head like a lasso… She swung that fuckin’ thing around her head and about the fourth time, she smashed that son of a bitch… She nailed that fucker right in the temple of his head. Split like a melon. And the other guy next to him caught it too, they go down, and we’re like, ‘What the fuck?’”

Ledgerwood says that after going backstage for a while to regroup, Bell came back “and put out the most blistering set of our fucking career.”

This could easily be an anecdote about Bell’s power, her resilience, and willingness to fight back against oppressive forces. But it’s also a story about the cost of being a Black woman who does something that some people don’t expect or approve of.

“She’s being pulled out of her zone because somebody is acknowledging how the rest of the world can see her,” says Johari, empathizing with the star rocker. “And even to react to it by picking up a microphone and smashing someone in the face, that means that that incident cost her not only that moment it takes to get back into the song, but the whole [effects of her] action will last for weeks.

“She’ll replay that over and over and over and over again. And then the people she sees that were there when it happened, they’re gonna come up to her and they’re gonna forget everything that she’s saying, all the stuff that she had did, and they’re only going to focus on, ‘I was at that show where you knocked a dude in the head for calling you an N-word,’” Johari says. “It has nothing to do with her artistry. But it reminds her of the way in which she has to be prepared, just in case it happens again.”

King remembers Bell also felt that some of the other men in the band’s changing lineup failed to treat her as an equal partner: “She’s getting that from her own band members — what do you think audience people are like?”

A European tour in the late ’80s gained Bam Bam international fans, but ended after Bell and Martin split up, and Bell was caught in an immigration enforcement dragnet in the Netherlands.

When they returned to the Pacific Northwest, Bam Bam continued playing shows until 1990, when Bell abruptly quit as they were packing up to head to the studio in Portland, Ore.

“She had just had enough,” Ledgerwood says. “For almost eight years she had almost literally eviscerated herself for the audience.”

But that work never resulted in the national recognition they deserved.

“Grunge, whatever that means, is being identified as from your community, your colleagues, your sound that you were a participant in help shaping, and you’re not even mentioned in any of it.”

“Sometimes you need to be a little bit of an asshole to protect yourself. And Bell wasn’t much of an asshole,” Ledgerwood adds. “She was a pure-hearted person and had a really hard time believing that people couldn’t accept her over something as stupid as race.”

Bell didn’t just quit the band, she withdrew from music completely, says her son, Oscar-winning documentary filmmaker TJ Martin. Not out of resentment, he adds, but perhaps to escape the painful reminders that the music she helped pioneer was now earning other bands multimillion-dollar record contracts.

“Grunge, whatever that means, is being identified as from your community, your colleagues, your sound that you were a participant in help shaping, and you’re not even mentioned in any of it,” Martin says. “I can’t even fathom what that would feel like for it to be sort of spit back in your face with such frequency.”

Ledgerwood believes Bell died of a broken heart. But when Bell died alone in her Las Vegas apartment in 2012, the official cause of death listed was cirrhosis of the liver. She had struggled with alcohol and depression. Her son says the coroner estimated her time of death as a couple weeks before her body was discovered. She was 55 years old.

The things that could have told Tina Bell’s story in her own voice are lost. Martin arrived in Las Vegas to find that the contents of his mother’s apartment — except for a DVD player, a poster, and a chair — had been thrown away. All of her writings — lyrics, poems, diaries — along with Bam Bam music, videos, and other memorabilia — went in the trash without her family even being notified.

If you think you were in Seattle in the ’80s, in the grunge scene, and you don’t remember Tina Bell and Bam Bam, you probably weren’t really fucking there.

“I couldn’t help draw a parallel between her not being respected and seen in the first chapter of her life, as the front person of a punk band, and then even in death being disrespected and not being seen for the merits of the life she lived,” says Martin.

Bell’s death is also an indictment of the way she was written out of her own story. The way grunge’s almighty gatekeepers chose to look through her instead of at her. Grunge became the domain of alienated young White men in flannel shirts, and Tina Bell didn’t fit the narrative they were trying to sell.

“Black herstory can suffer immense amounts of erasure if somebody is not brave enough to ensure that women get counted,” Johari says.

To many of those who were part of the scene at the time, the amnesia seems intentional. Ledgerwood brings up the seminal history of Seattle’s grunge era, Everybody Loves Our Town. In it, the author refers to Bam Bam as a three-piece instrumental band mainly notable because Matt Cameron was the drummer. Tina Bell isn’t even mentioned.

“How in the hell would he have a recollection of how great Bam Bam and its drummer was, and not this unbelievably beautiful woman, this firecracker, this explosive rock and roll goddess?” Ledgerwood asks. “Even if he thought she sucked, to not remember the only Black woman on the whole fuckin’ scene is — well, it’s like that old joke about the ’60s: If you think you were in Seattle in the ’80s, in the grunge scene, and you don’t remember Tina Bell and Bam Bam, you probably weren’t really fucking there.”

You can listen to more of Bam Bam’s music on this Spotify playlist. A vinyl album with the band’s songs is coming out this year on Bric-a-Brac Records.

#Alice in Chains #Bam Bam #black history #black women #black women in rock #grunge #Kurt Cobain #music #Nirvana #Pearl Jam #rock #Seattle #Soundgarden #Tina Bell #women in rock #women's history #80s

[bangtanshomura]

PINK | 2/? | pjm

summary: A neighbor as pink and hopelessly romantic as you and an equally pink neighbor like Jimin (but without a thing or two in common), sounds almost perfect together, right?. The only problem? That you are madly in love with him but his tonalities are very different from yours.

pairing: park jimin x female reader.

genre: fluff, angst, (maybe in the future a little of smut? not so sure).

word count: 1992

warning: unrequited love, pinning, so much embarrassment, a looooot of pink hehe, hurt, some mxm with ot7, you know…it happens sometimes.

------

Pink, 'cause you are so very

“Sup with the face, sugar?” Seokjin’s voice pulls you back to reality. Or maybe was Jimin’s text.

“Jimin asked me if he should go on a date with the pretty girl of the coffee shop across the street”

“You are a pretty girl” He points you with a finger, looking at you harshly. “And Jimin always says stupid things, so please, don’t overthink this”

“But I'm not the pretty girl he would consider asking out on a date” your voice is almost a whisper, so genuinely hurt that Seokjin can't help the tug at his heart.

“Well, his loss, I’m telling you” He scoffs “He will see you someday—” Tucks a lock of hair behind your ear with an affectionate smile. “ like, really see you. And I hope it's not too late when that happens”

Everyone knows what a wonderful person you are, including Park Jimin.

The only person who apparently lacks this information is you.

And it's not that Seokjin has any feelings of hatred and contempt towards the now black-haired boy; but he didn’t appreciate the way he lured you to him and then pushed you away.

Actually, even if Namjoon thinks otherwise, he is absolutely certain that there is some reason why Jimin's colors look somewhat... dull.

There must be a reason why despite the subtle -quite obvious in Seokjin's opinion- attraction Jimin feels for you, he doesn't let it develop but also doesn't let it stop.

Seokjin just knows it's like that, it's a feeling,

“I love you so much Jinnie, but I don't want to talk about this anymore” You leave a small kiss in his cheek before you continue talking. “Are you coming for some unhealthy dinner tonight?”

“You know that we will, baby” The wink it throws at you makes you giggle “Namjoon will pick us up ten minutes before we close the store, safety an all, you know my man” You both laugh a little. “Any suggestions?”

“I'm craving a cheeseburger from McDonald’s”

“A cheeseburger from McDonald's will be” It’s a reality, they don’t know how to say no to you. And they don’t want to. “Now, help me with this arrangement, I have never met a bride as demanding as this girl. I swear”

______

"Just when I think you can't get any more idiotic, you come along and surprise me Jimin."

Yoongi’s raspy voice makes him roll his eyes.

“What are you talking about now?”

“You know what. Don’t play dumb with me” He signals his phone with a movement of the head and scolds him with his eyes. Translation: He read the messages. “You can’t keep doing this to her.”

Jimin looked out the window again, exchanging glances with the barista who batted her eyelashes flirtatiously, gifting him a smile that he returned with a smaller one of his own.

She's pretty, he had to admit that. But neither her flirtatious smile nor her long, stylish hair, managed to provoke anything in him.

Not like his small, pink, innocent neighbor.

A sigh left his lips and he returned his gaze to his phone.

“I know”

______

“Are we hungry or what?”

Namjoon enters the shop with his extra-large arms extended, prepare to wrap you two in a bear hug.

“We are always hungry; you already know that hun”

Seokjin takes his face in between his hands with so much delicacy that you want to cry but instead you fake a gagging noise that makes them chuckle and you smile fondly to the presence of their love.

“Let’s go before you suffocate me with so much PDA” You give them a weak smile walking towards the entrance, in a crestfallen manner.

The taller one knows there is something in your voice that doesn't fit the facade you want to sell him, so, he looks to his boyfriend direction with a raised brow and an interrogation mark painted on its face.

His boyfriend answers him with a silent lip movement, a name, clarifying the situation.

Of course, it had to be.

“I cross paths with Jungkook this morning”

“Really? How is he?” Your question doesn’t come as curious as his want’s to, but he keeps anyways.

“You know, hotter than before” Seokjin watches him curious while locking the gate of the flower shop, eyebrow arching and he clarifies his voice. “I might have invited him to dinner today”

Okay, he may not have invited him, but they did crossed paths in a convenience store while the younger one was carrying a bag full of banana milk.

But he will.

“…You did?”

The hesitation in your voice gives him a push.

“Yeah, I mean, is it wrong?”

————

You should have known.

How is it possible that a specimen like Jeon Jungkook exists and on top of that, he is single.

Damn Kim Namjoon and damn his twisted plan or whatever that goes through his prodigy brain.

“You could have warned me that he looked like that!”

“Boring” Namjoon prolonged the ‘o’ “I don’t see what’s wrong. He is hot, you are hot, he is single, you are single. A win-win situation if you ask me”.

“But I didn’t”.

“Irrelevant. We are having an amazing night y/n. You know that I’m not going to force you on a date with Jungkook but I want you to enjoy this moment with me, with us”.

“I am enjoying the moment, excuse you” You murmur.

“No your not. You think that I didn’t see the sadness in your eyes?”

“Nam…”

“No baby, not today” He takes a deep breath and looks at you with so much love and concern. “Please”

Deep inside, you know he is right, that you need a night of rest from the problem in your heart that has Park Jimin as its name.

Jungkook is funny, sweet, attentive and Namjoon isn't lying when he says the four of you are having a spectacular night.

You can see it in your best friend's eyes, the desperation to see you well, happy.

So, you agree.

“But!—” Namjoon waits for whatever that you are going to say “What the fuck with those tattoos? And the piercing? He can’t be real, you created him”

He lets out a thunderous laugh as he wraps an arm around your shoulders.

“Girl, I know”

______

“Thank you so much for having me tonight y/n”

“Oh, no, no” You blush. He chuckles, watching you trying to burn holes in the door of the apartment in front of yours to avoid his gaze. “I-I…eh…Thank you! T-Thank you for coming, like, here, to my house, obviously…oh my god”

You want to slap your face for making a fool of yourself in front of another extremely hot man.

And then, he smiles.

And it's not a smirk or a chuckle that can be interpreted as "I know what I’m doing to you."

It's genuine.

He’s giving you his adorable bunny smile.

“Cute”

If he is about to say something else besides what your brain translated as a compliment, a voice coming from the elevator at the end of the hall momentarily distracts you from it.

“Hey pink”

Although Jimin's greeting is for you, his eyes are intently fixed on the male figure next to you, who watches him curiously.

“Jiminie, you are at home”

Jungkook's eyes travel quickly from Jimin to you, who -with incredible speed for someone so small- runs into the arms of the black-haired boy standing in front of the elevator door.

The gears in his brain working at full power, stopping abruptly when this guy drops the bags he was carrying on the floor so he can wrap his arms around your waist, still throwing daggers in his direction.

Then the realization hits him, and his lips let out an amused chuckle.

This guy must see him as a threat and being honest, he could be.

If you'd let him, that is.

“Yoongi didn't let me escape early, I'm sorry I couldn't make it to dinner with you”

The butterflies in your belly do a triple loop at his words.

"It's okay, I understand" You say turning around but not before grabbing one of the bags lying on the floor and incidentally, the hand he keep unoccupied by the other bags, you turn to Jungkook with a smile "Jungkookie, this is Jiminie, my neighbor!"

“Hi, Jiminie the neighbor”

Jungkook extends his hand offering it in a cordial greeting, while Jimin examines him completely to finally put down the bags and shake it without separating his hand that is holding yours.

“Just Jimin”

You don't quite understand why they seem to be having a battle to the death with just their eyes, in the middle of the hallway, while Mrs. Kim passes by and watches the scene with curiosity.

You give her a somewhat apologetic smile and make a small bow before -trying- to take a step to get closer to Jungkook.

Try, because the moment Jimin detected movement on your part, he pulled your hand with a little force -without hurting you of course-, to return you to his side.

Jungkook catches between his lips the mocking laughter that wants to escape from his chest and instead returns his gaze to you, smiling softly.

"I'd love to stay and get to know 'Just Jimin' a little more, but I'm afraid it's a little late" You can watch from the corner of your eye as Jimin rolls his eyes and turns to the side with a pout on his lips.

Weird.

Not the tantrum, you've seen it multiple times.

The moment. Yeah, that's weird.

"Actually, yes. It's late. Jungkookie from college" Jimin says dryly

For some reason your brain fails to organize its ideas and thoughts, they're all scattered all over the floor of what you assume is the control room in your head.

"Sure" Jungkook replies without looking at him, taking a step to get closer to you, snapping you out of your thoughts "Really, thanks for tonight, y/n"

Jimin knows, he can feel it.

His cheeks must be red and his forehead must have the biggest scowl in history.

Because, who does he think he is, Jungkookie from college, to hug you like that?

Even when his hand is intertwined with yours!.

"Oh" Jungkook's warm embrace brings you back to your senses completely. unconsciously letting go of Jimin's hand to return the gesture with affection "Thank you for coming, I hope Namjoon didn't force you to come all the way here."

"Not at all. Actually, I'd love to meet with you guys again."

When you part, Jimin makes his presence noticeable again, taking your hand quickly with a huff.

------

"I thought only Namjoon and Jin were coming for dinner?"

Jimin lets the question out casually, wishing it wasn't too obvious his need for information from the - apparently - new member of your group.

"Oh, yeah, Namjoon found Jungkook by chance and invited him over for old times' sake."

He can see how you arrange some cans in his cupboard, as if you know the place by heart.

Leaning on his kitchen counter, a smile moves over his lips at the domesticity of the moment.

How can you look so pretty and pink, doing something as mundane as stocking his pantry?

And it's this very thought that forces him to take control of the situation. Because he knows that what happened in the hallway a few minutes ago must have confused you even if you don't show it to him.

And it's not something he can afford.

"I see" Running his hand through his hair -a habit he doesn't intend to abandon-, he starts rummaging through another shopping bag as he continues "Did you read my messages?"

He can see you cease your movements and stand still with a bag of candy in one hand.

"I-I..."

"Nevermind" He Interrupts you "Yoongi advised me on one or two things that might be useful."

"He did?"

No.

But you can't know that.

"Yeah, he did."

------

A/N:

For the people who read the first part, I'm sorry for the delay but I've been going through an unexpected and difficult time, so I promise to make up for the lost time. In the meantime I'll leave this chapter here and I hope you enjoy it and again, I'm really sorry!

#park jimin fanfic #jimin fanfic #bts fanfic #jimin x reader #park jimin x reader #park jimin #jeon jeongkook #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #kim taehyung #jimin angst #jimin fluff #bangtan fic #bts fic

[mandoalorian]

What the Pedro boys are like at college

This is my first time doing one of these so please be nice! Yep, TUWOMT isn’t out yet but I have read the script and I have written for Javi Gutierrez here. If you don’t want spoilers, maybe don’t read his scenario. I’ve made it so Javi’s is the last one so you can skip over it easily. I write for all the main Pedro characters! These include:

·         Din Djarin – The Mandalorian

·         Javier Pena – Narcos

·         Frankie Morales – Triple Frontier

·         Maxwell Lord – Wonder Woman 1984

·         Jack Daniels: Kingsman: The Golden Circle

·         Oberyn Martell: Game of Thrones

·         Dave York: The Equalizer 2

·         Pero Tovar – The Great Wall

·         Ezra Prospect – Prospect

·         Marcus Pike – The Mentalist

·         Max Phillips – Bloodsucking Bastards

·         Dio – NYPD Blue

·         Javi Gutierrez – The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent

·         I DO NOT WRITE FOR PEDRO PASCAL.

Please please request a ‘Pedro boy’ scenario HERE. You can also request for me to write a one shot HERE.

Masterlist

Enjoy!

 ***

Din Djarin: Does college exist in Star Wars? I’m not sure… but if we take a moment to imagine Din being schooled by the Mandalorian Creed. He learns the history of Mandalore, about the great leaders such as Satine Kryze. He learns the importance of ‘the way’ and studies the art of weaponary, learning how to use guns, detonators, vambrace, and whistling birds. He learns about the legacy of the darksaber and, as we already know, he trains with the Rising Phoenix. I imagine Din likes to keep himself to himself and has been a loner his whole life. He places his trust in his fellow Mandalorian’s but they are not his friends. They are simply just his allies. Being schooled in the Mandalorian Creed would be physically exhausting but it’s something Din can manage. After all, he doesn’t have a choice. This is the way.

Javier Pena: We know Javi always wanted to leave Texas, and I think college was the perfect time for him to venture out. He didn’t choose a school with a pristine academic reputation, but instead, he picked a school that had the best renowned night life so he could go out and enjoy drinking and partying. Javi wasn’t a complete wild card. He was the kid who seemed to be good at almost everything. He was able to graduate top of his class with honours in Criminal Law.

Frankie Morales: When Frankie was younger, he loved helping his dad work on the family car and he even scored a part-time job at a garage when he finished high school. At high school, he never really found interest in the core subjects like English, math, science, history… and so when it was time for college, he wanted to develop on his hobby. Frankie chose to major in engineering, with a minor in transportation and logistics. This was perfect for him. In his second year, he went from looking at cars and motorcycles, to different forms of aircraft. He remembers one morning, he sat in the pilot seat of a helicopter after the fuel compressor had went bust and he had never felt more at home. On a whim, he dropped out of college and was lucky enough to get a place in piloting school. Frankie stuck by Santiago throughout college, but while Santi went out and partied, Frankie would slump down in his chair, drink a few beers, and be ready to head back to his dorm at 9pm. He had a few flings in college but had no interest in pursuing an actual relationship. It was important to him that he used his time in college to discover what he really wanted to do with his life.

Maxwell Lord: He probably went to Cornell, or Harvard. Maxwell could’ve gotten in from his family name alone, and if he wasn’t the most academically bright, no doubt his mother would’ve paid him into college, but Maxwell had always been smart. He was home schooled his whole life and so college was a big change for him. He worked hard. He showed up to every class early, and handed in homework and dissertations early, and used his charm to schmooze with the teachers, doing all he could to make sure he got the best grades. Maxwell majored in Business and Economics, and minored in Marketing. He didn’t have much choice in what he studied in college because he had his life set out for him the moment he was born. Maxwell didn’t have friends, but that’s not to say he was a loner. Everyone on campus knew who Maxwell was, and everyone knew the kind of family he came from.

Jack Daniels: Despite Jack and his high school sweetheart going their separate ways for college, they couldn’t stay away from each other for long. He was a Political Science major but never really cared much for it. He had a lot of friends, was a care free spirit and attended parties. He is someone who has natural academic ability but his failure to attend class and do homework meant that he, inevitably, began to drag behind. Realising political science isn’t for him, he dropped out of college and moved in with his high school sweetheart. He much preferred it that way, and he was able to be with her all the time. Having his company meant that she was now distracted from her studies and when she fell pregnant with their first child, they decided to run away from college all together and start a family far away.

Oberyn Martell: Is there college in Game of Thrones? I’m not sure, but a modern! Oberyn would major in classical studies and minor in philosophy. He is a prince, after all. He excels in both subjects and picks up languages such as Latin and Greek easily. It comes natural to him. He passes with flying colours and never has to try too hard because the words of Aristotle and Plato were engrained into his brain ever since he was old enough to read a book. As prince, he knows it is important to graduate with honours and that it’s his priority but that doesn’t mean he can’t make time for fun. He doesn’t commit to any relationship during college but does embrace his sexuality. He’s kind, gentle, and respectful. He’s a really great lover, but an even better friend.

Dave York: Dave studied criminology and forensic science at college. He was able to learn the ins and outs of criminal psychology and the process that cops and forensic teams go through when trying to trace a murder. His knowledge in this subject sure helped him in later life. He passed with flying colours, but never wanted a career in crime – or at least, not a career you’d need a degree in. But his newly received qualification, Dave decided to join the CIA as an operative where he met Robert McCall. He played good guy for a long time, but his bad intentions linked to criminal activity traced all the way back to college. He met his wife in college, and truthfully, she was the only thing who kept him from spiralling into criminal activity at an earlier stage.

Pero Tovar: Again, I am almost certain college didn’t exist during this time period but if we make it a modern AU, I think Pero would have majored in geography and minored in cultural studies. He had a goal to travel the world and see all the magnificent places. Pero was a grumpy adolescent, and seemingly he never really grew out of it. He had a group of people he hung out with who were similar to him but he never really considered them friends. He didn’t partake in extracurricular activities and he would just focus on studying. But he did have a flare in art which was lost on him during later life. He used painting as an emotional outlet and a means to express his feelings.

Ezra Prospect: I guess this is a modern! Ezra then. He studies geology, and he’s really smart. He does a lot of reading, but he actually prefers non-fiction over fiction. His interest in geology goes past his degree, and he actually collects a variety of rocks and gemstones, going into deep research about them and believing that certain ones possess healing powers. Ezra has a partner throughout his time in college, and they spend a lot of time with each other. Ezra’s partner encourages Ezra’s love for geology and finds his passion endearing, even encouraging him to earn an income from his knowledge! You help Ezra use the rocks that he collects to create bath salts and make jewellery to sell on and earn profit.

Marcus Pike: Marcus was an art and design major, and all his teacher’s loved him. He was never the best at the practical side, but he excelled in art history and his knowledge on the subject was outstanding. Marcus had one long term relationship during college but his partner ended up breaking his heart. It took a long time for Marcus to recover, but he’d always been one for second chances. He’d hope that he’d never get his heart broken again.

Max Phillips: Max was a bit of a player in community college; a jock, who studied his undergraduate in Physical Education. When Evan had Max kicked out for sleeping with his girlfriend, Max went and studied Sales Management at a university just for Vampires. Filled with a feeling of wrath and hatred for Evan, Max made it his mission to ruin him. No more time could be spent partying in his fraternity, playing soccer for the college team and sleeping with the cheer leader’s – Max made it his goal to graduate from Vampire University with a top major and steal the job of leading Sales Manager from Evan. And that’s on holding grudges.

Dio: Yeah, Dio didn’t go to college. He dropped out of high school when he was fourteen. In his youth, his hobbies included making fire and stealing from the rich.

Javi Gutierrez: He’s a film major of course! He was born into a rich family, we know that, and comes from a very financially privileged background. His parents knew that he did not have to pursue a degree in something that would ensure him a job, because Javi would be well off no matter what, and so they were fine with Javi doing something he was truly interested in. Javi has loved literature, art and movies his whole life. He minors in screenplay writing and excels top of his class, constantly impressing those around him with his ability to memorise anything from one liner quotes to whole scenes from movies. He shares his extensive knowledge of trivia, and all his lecturer’s firmly believe that the film industry is something that Javi could one day potentially succeed in. However, Javi is awkward. He shy’s away from all the partying and spends Friday night’s in his dorm, munching on popcorn and watching classic movies. A relationship is never in question for Javi because of his family circumstances, so he just lays low and focuses on his studies. As soon as he graduates, he heads back home to Mexico and his dreams of being a famous Hollywood screenplay writer seem so distant.

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #din djarin #frankie morales #javier pena #agent whiskey #maxwell lord #ezra prospect #javi gutierrez #pedro boys

[caitlinsfandomthoughts]

Watching Star Trek TOS For the First Time! Season 1 Reaction

I’ve been a TNG, DS9 and Voyager fan for maybe 10 years but had never watched TOS until I decided that I would. And then I realised I couldn’t live with the possibility of the internet not being able to know my incoherent rambling reactions if it so desired. Most of these were written the day after I saw them but with the early ones it was later so sorry if I don’t remember your favourite.

Season 1:

The Cage: Be still my beating heart why must number 1 leave the show? Why?! Imagine a world in which Majel Barrett got to continue to be her in the Star Trek universe instead of Lwuxana (sorry I don’t love her) and Nurse Chapel. She’s so beautiful I love her. And she gets to where pants and be the second in command. While the episode for sure has sexist moments it does seem like there was more of an actual effort to present to future as having gender equality. When you compare this to the ultra mini skirted version of the actual show, it does feel like executives went through it to make it more marketable. It’s been noted by others that she is quite similar to what Spock’s character became: the cold, logical one, while Spock smiles in this episode. While I ended up loving Spock I still would’ve loved to see a woman in that kind of role, especially in the 60s. Although I’m not sure she would’ve been treated that well.

So Vina can’t like, get medical treatment from Starfleet doctors who know how to put a human body together? No? We’re just gonna leave her there? She’s too ugly? She’s better off living in a fantasy world where she’s pretty? Ok then…

The Man Trap: I don’t even really remember this one so I’d have to rewatch it.

Charlie X: Charlie sees women and becomes an incel, Kirk has to try and teach him not to be. This is a decent goal that somehow culminates in a space boxing match. Kirk loses his shirt. Sexual tension is presumably resolved. Uhura sings.

Where No Man Has Gone Before: The pants are back. Man becomes some kind of god and Kirk beats him up if I remember correctly.

The Naked Time: This is where The Naked Now comes from. This one was less sexual, which is probably a good thing, and less drunk, which is too bad cause I love drunk Crusher and Picard trying to focus on work while their brains won’t brain. Highly relatable mood. This one is where the immortal line “sorry, neither” comes from, spoken by Uhura in response to Sulu calling her a “fair maiden.” According to the internet that was an ad lib and I so hope that’s true cause it’s amazing. Also according to Spock Sulu is a “swashbuckler at heart” which is cool and all but I wish we got to find that out by him actually being a character that we know the personality of rather than a background diversity guy who gets to say a couple of lines sometimes. Also each to their own but shirtless Sulu is infinitely more attractive than shirtless Kirk.

The Enemy Within: Bad. Women at Warp podcast said it best, it’s bad because they say the evil Kirk is still Kirk and is needed for him to be a good captain/person. This could’ve been ok if he didn’t do something so irredeemable, or they could’ve not had him be defined as a true and necessary part of Kirk, but you can’t have both and sell it as an ok message. Rand not being able to look at ‘good’ Kirk after really makes it feel real, her acting in general makes it feel too real.

Mudd’s Women: Women take beauty pills that make them have makeup on and men find them too ugly to marry without them even though they are still beautiful. Also said women were kinda slaves but don’t worry about it! *hand waves*

What Are Little Girls Made Off: I don’t know what the title has to do with the episode. This is the episode where Nurse Chapel is introduced even though she was in a previous episode. And she’s taken more seriously than I thought she would be. Kirk gets an android version of himself made by a guy who he already doesn’t trust and doesn’t predict that maybe that’s not a good idea. Apparently to make an android all you need to do is put one person and one dummy on a giant plate and spin them around real fast. If only the guy who wanted to take apart Data in Measure of a Man knew.

Miri: Problematic. I think the crush angle could’ve worked if it was one sided, but Kirk played into it and it was creepy, and you know, also manipulative, assuming Kirk doesn’t actually feel the same way and is using it to get her to help them. That’s my more charitable interpretation anyway. Also McCoy doesn’t know how vaccines work. Also this episode doesn’t know what puberty is, or rather when it starts. If the virus is supposed to get to you then, that starts round the preteen age. Miri is older than that even though she’s not an adult.

Dagger of the Mind: This was the first one where I was starting to quite like it and it was feeling a little more like Star Trek to me (I know this is the first Star Trek but there’s a certain way 80s/90s era Star Trek feels to me). I really liked the beginning where it was setting up this whole maybe prisoners become violent because of how the prison treats them thing and that it was challenging the viewpoints of some of the main characters, although McCoy was already team prisons are bad and I love him for that. It then went more into the lobotomising asylum type story which was still ok. The guy turned out to be a doctor rather than a prisoner which I didn’t like cause I wanted the prisoners to be humanised. Although you could’ve done a “see anyone, even ‘innocent’ non criminals can be turned violent with this treatment” but they didn’t really emphasise that.

The Corbomite Maneuver: I don’t remember this. Kirk playing poker with some alien I think. Edit: I’m been informed this is the one where the alien turns out to be a lollypop guild kid lip-syncing to an adult’s voice, which I do remember, and probably thought it was some kind of sleep-deprived fever dream.

The Menagerie Part 1 & 2:  I laughed so much when they wheeled Pike out and I finally got the Futurama reference in Where No Fan Has Gone Before. I mean I obviously knew the whole thing was a Star Trek Reference, but I had never seen that specific imagery before and now the joke makes sense! Also Pike wanting to go back there seems kinda wrong. I mean they say he’s a vegetable mentally I think but he doesn’t seem to be? I can kinda get that he’s got more incentive to be there than Vina who could probably be helped by Federation doctors but also, he hated that place and spent the whole episode trying to get out of it and it doesn’t feel like a fitting ending for him.

The Conscious of the King: And here begins Star Trek’s love affair with Shakespeare. The only thing I have to say really is, if I didn’t mishear something… a father and daughter played Macbeth and Lady Macbeth? A married couple. And no-one thought that was weird? She was the daughter of a dictator though so there was an Ivanka Trump vibe.

Balance of Terror: Romulans. Spock wasn’t sure that they were related to Vulcans till this ep, though he suspected it. How far back did they split for it to be unknown? I like that the Romulans were sympathetic and we had scenes with them just in their ship from their perspective, and they had some conflicting views with each other. And I really like how Spock was suspected as a spy cause racism and of course he wasn’t and saved that guy cause he’s the better person. That said I found this episode pretty boring and I don’t know why. I kinda wish it turned into a witchhunt situation and was more about the racism on the Enterprise, kinda like The Drumhead from TNG.

Shore leave: Wtf was this episode?! And I don’t ask that because the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland showed up, or that it was a random holodeck planet episode, that’s fine. When the White Rabbit appeared I was just like, ok it’s going to be one of those episodes, that’s fine. Holodeck episodes are fun, I don’t even mind a random magic alien or two appearing for no reason to wreak havoc, say by making everyone larp as Robin Hood, that’s all Star Trek, that’s Star Trek doing a Star Trek, what I didn’t like is this episode goes nowhere! McCoy sees the White Rabbit, we’re off to a good start, Sulu “Swashbuckler at Heart” sees an old gun that he geeks out on, cool. Kirk sees some woman of course. Also there’s some guy fending off a tiger. Random female guest star of the week rather than letting Uhura be part of the story gets her uniform torn by some guy. Then she imagines a princess dress and if that were me as soon as I realised I could think things into existence I would just imagine all my dream clothes. Kirk imagines an old student friend who is attempting very hard to be Irish (thank you Colm Meany for saving us from this).

Anyway so the planets a holodeck cool. And I’m like, Spock should beam down, I wanna know what he’ll see, this is where the episode could get interesting. And then it happens, but nothing happens, they don’t even make much of a deal of him not seeing anything. But then I thought what if! What if Spock didn’t beam down and this was another imagination?! What if he was some alien with some ulterior motive OR better than that we get to see Spock as imagined by whoever was thinking of him. You could go down a very fanfic road if it were Kirk’s imagined or desired view of him, or maybe you could show different people’s perceptions and then they still suspect he’s not acting like himself even though it’s how they see him, but its not quite right, cause it’s not actually how he is. Or at least I thought they were going to find out what was going on. But NOPE none of that happens. Instead leprechaun guy shows up again and Kirk just wonders off to fight him for the next fucking millennium! The uniforms they wore at the academy seem like they were made out of better quality material than that of a Starfleet captain’s. Poor Kirk must be having to replicate new uniforms every other day. Then they laugh I think, and sexual tension is presumably resolved. Then the aliens show up and are like yeah this planet is a holodeck we thought you’d like it also McCoy died but he didn’t and I’m like THEY DIDN’T CONSENT TO THIS. But then they decide to party.

It reminded me of a Red Dwarf episode called Better Than Life where they knowingly go into a virtual reality game which is basically the same as this planet. But over time Rimmer keeps sabotaging what he imagines cause he hates himself so much his brain won’t let him have nice things. And it’s still a comedy, but there’s an opportunity for exploring the character’s psyche with this setup that wasn’t done here and that made it boring.

The Galileo Seven: This episode was good!! In contrast to the last one it delivered on promises it made, it had a satisfying ending, it’s probably my favourite so far. The whole time I was like this should be about how Spock can be wrong and logic isn’t everything to be a good commander. But given the quality of the previous episodes wasn’t that great and Spock was always right about everything I didn’t trust them to do that. BUT I WAS WRONG. I thought it would be about how just because you don’t have emotions doesn’t mean you can disregard those of the crew. But instead it was about how he couldn’t predict their enemy wouldn’t act based on emotion rather than logic. And then he admitted he was wrong and helped the guy bury the other guy, and then they were about to die and McCoy was like at least I’ve lived to hear Spock say he fucked up. And then Spock jettisoned the fuel so that it might act like a flare but it gave them less time and I was like no you’ve learned nothing! Don’t just do things that severe without asking your crew. But then after they were saved it was described as an act of desperation rather than anything logical and Kirk was like that’s an emotion isn’t it? You acted on emotion? And Spock was like well yes but I’m not gonna say it like that.

I like that emotion was good actually. I think it’s a fine balance between the message of its ok to be different and using Spock as an analogy for racism, and inadvertently neurodiversity, but also not buying into the idea that emotions = weakness and lack of emotion, or emotional repression = objectivity. Even if you don’t factor emotion into your decisions (which would be impossible unless you don’t experience emotions at all) it doesn’t mean that you don’t have personal biases in your perspective. So I’m glad Spock was wrong for once.

The Squire of Gothos: This is Q this is Proto-Q. He does all the same things that Q does; he shows up in clothes that are way out of date (and he thinks they’re from 900 years ago when they’re clearly early 19th century) and he flirts with the captain. Oh and he has powers, maybe they were computer powers, but not all? And he goes on about humans being brutal, warmongering people but he’s kinda into it. He fights Kirk but there was actual tension so it wasn’t annoying like the one with the Irish guy. And then it turns out he was just a kid exactly like the Futurama episode, except he is a kid not 35. I think him being a kid makes the flirting seem weird though.

Arena: Kirk and the Gorn at Tanagra. Kirk fights a lizard because aliens wanted to encourage them to not fight by telling them to fight. I thought maybe these lizards could be proto Cardassians but then I thought they can’t be they don’t talk, but then he spoke so I thought they could be, but then he was the one who was invaded and was only defending his people so I thought they couldn’t be, unless that was actually just lies and justifications in which case they definitely would be, but then that would undermine the message of the episode so I guess not. I wonder how many leaders have killed each other before these alien’s negotiation tactic actually worked.

Tomorrow is Yesterday: This was fun. There were a lot of twists and turns. I wonder if it was before or after the moonlanding. Every plan just makes it worse and more and more people keep getting exposed to the future. Kirk could’ve easily just closed the door and beamed back at the end but instead opts to punch like six people. (I think this is where “a woman?” “Crewman.” Comes from).

Court Martial: What if Kirk actually did it though? Would that be more interesting? Maybe. At least here he has an age appropriate love interest. She’s prosecuting against him which is surely a conflict of interest. AND she has a uniform with a longer skirt! And it actually looks good, like it looks like an actual dress that she can sit down in and it still looks like a dress and not a crumpled up shirt. It’s elegant but it’s still short. I could see this being an option (for any gender) as a dress uniform but it would still make no sense when they’re serving on a ship.

Return of the Archons: I am LIVING for Spock in a medieval style hood. It’s giving me Peter Cook in a Mother Superior’s wimple in Bedazzled vibe, it’s not quite on that level of beauty, but it’s close. For some reason Sulu returned from the planet in 18th century gear but then everyone else is dressed like it’s the 19th century, with some medieval robes thrown in, and this annoys me more than it should. Maybe it’s because he’s a swashbuckler at heart. Apparently they had a completely peaceful society except for the nightly purge they seemed to have going on that is never mentioned again.

Space Seed: KHHANN! I liked this a lot until the end. I want to know the lore behind Data’s Dad having his middle and last name. Edit: Actually only the middle name is the same and the last name is just similar. I still think there’s lore there (excuse the pun), probably he’s a descendent of his cult followers or something. The story seemed to be eugenics bad and also the type of guy to basically be a eugenics cult leader would be super manipulative and abusive but just charming enough in a relationship. It does a pretty good job of showing the abuse in his relationship with the historian woman, how he switches between being loving and I guess charming, and flattering to being abusive and degrading. I wish that the historian woman could find someone that she can explore domination and submission with consensually cause that seems like it would be what she really wants. Anyway but in the end they just let him go? Like he tried to take over the ship but they were like here have a colony. They compared the place to Australia when the colonists arrived at Botany Bay and that it could be... I forget what the word was but basically ‘civilised’ and No NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO STOP RIGHT THERE NO Australia was already populated and didn’t need eugenicist cult leaders who were demonstrably bad to show up make it ‘better.’ AND THEN the historian is given the choice to go with them and she does and its framed like it’s good? Or at least ok? When they just did a pretty decent job of showing how abusive and manipulative he was and she had redeemed herself by turning against him? So I get that they probably wanted to bring him back although they’re probably not gonna bring her back, but they could’ve easily had him escape instead.

A Taste of Armageddon: Suicide machines. I forget the rest.

This Side of Paradise: SEX POLLEN! Well it’s more fall in love pollen, I guess, for one character. There’s a woman and there’s the music and the soft focus and BUT WAIT then the camera cuts to Spock not Kirk! Because she has taste. It’s about this point that I think the ‘Spock’s the most popular but Shatner wants to remain the star so we’ll emphasise their character’s relationship thus inadvertently inventing slash fic’ might’ve started. It’s time for a love triangle! She makes Spock get the sex pollen, which is not getting consent, and then he falls in love with her and is climbing trees and is all happy. Kirk can’t get a text back from Spock. Then Kirk and two others get the pollen except Kirk didn’t, but he did, but anyway I thought everyone would be horny but they weren’t they were just brainwashed. Soon Kirk is all alone on the bridge, then he gets the pollen and is happy to live as a poly triad but then he gets angry and it’s gone. Then he calls Spock to the ship and approaches the situation in the only way Kirk knows how: Homoerotic punching! So they fight for not long enough and then Spock is cured but he’s a little sad, there’s sadness in his voice, it’s not quite so matter of fact. Then Spock’s gf gets sad and the sex pollen is gone too, Spock might still have feelings for her but he has responsibilities to the ship and “to that man on the bridge” which if he was saying to just mean once again the whole ship, and its mission and the captain in a professional sense, seems a little redundant, which would surely be illogical.

The colonists get sad that they haven’t done anything for years because the sex pollen made them unambitious but I would argue maybe the sex pollen was right and you were better off just vibing. This episode was more interesting and less silly than I thought the creator of sex pollen would be. At the end Spock says that for the first time in his life he was happy. While every other character could still easily become addicted to a thing like that they could at least know they would experience happiness or any feelings again in their life, for Spock it was going back to nothingness.

Devil in the Dark: Spock calls Kirk Jim which I don’t think he has before, when he’s talking over the communicator and he’s worried he’s in danger, there’s some actual fear or urgency in his voice. Also the moment that got me was when Kirk wanted to send Spock back the ship cause he didn’t trust him to kill the creature and Spock was like “but… I’m not really as useful there I am here… so…” If I was writing it I would’ve played that up more but anyway, I like that they didn’t kill the creature. I like that McCoy said the thing. And also said “I’m starting to think I can cure a rainy day.” He’s my favourite.

Errand of Mercy: It’s kinda becoming the Kirk Spock show now, I like the ship but I miss McCoy. I like that the passive pacifists who Kirk was so angry with were actually more powerful. And KLINGONS! Oh yeah the orientalism, the yellow peril, it’s… it’s there all right. They were played a lot colder here, a little Cardassian maybe, still bloodthirsty but I don’t believe this guy has to do it himself to feel honourable, he can kill for sure but he’s fine ordering someone else to do it and being a chessmaster too.

The Alternative Factor: God this one was boring. But it does have a man with the worst beard wig I’ve ever seen. Now he’s stuck fighting the bad version of himself or something to save the universe. So remember that when you’re watching later Trek series, all of this could suddenly be destroyed if one of them gets tired.

The City on the Edge of Forever: UHURA GETS TO GO ON AN AWAY MISSION! Aaaand she doesn’t get to do anything :/ The usual three go back in time! To the 60s again! Oh wait… that’s meant to be the 30s? Oh. That’s some tall hair that lady has for the 30s. But at least said lady is a character, she’s a little perfect but she does things, she has strong beliefs, she might be written a little idealised, but she is still written like a person compared to almost every other Kirk love interest. “He says it (captain) even when he doesn’t say it” is an interesting line. So she has to die, I still think they could’ve just convinced her that you don’t make friends with fascists but ok. They never say what the Clark Gable movie is.

Operation Annihilate! Kirk’s brother dies, and so does his sister in law, leaving his nephew without parents. This is never resolved and the episode ends with them laughing about how Spock got his eyesight back.

#star trek tos #star trek tos reaction #star trek reaction #star trek tos season 1 #star trek tos season 1 reaction #star trek tos first time viewing #Spock #Kirk #McCoy #Uhura #Sulu #is a swashbuckler at heart #crushing on number 1 #you don't make friends with fascists #sex pollen #spirk #is a fun ship #wtf was shore leave though #futurama #at least I've lived to hear Spock say he fucked up - Dr. McCoy

[imagine-fight-write]

Banana Fish, Vol. 1, Part 6

Hello, everyone! Time ran away from me again, laughing manically, but I am back!

So today Ash, after shooting his (former) gang members silly & laying down the law, goes to a doctor. Yes, really. But not just any doctor! No, no. This doctor is no longer licensed and does abortions. In the 80s. Which is also when this was written (1987, to be exact.) Well. I have no idea what to think, apart from Doc guy (his name is Meredith, a lovely name & looks it too) - Not-Doc Meredith has guts. No matter if who agree with what he does or not. But more importantly! Ash is wearing his lovely, comfy, totally 80s but comfy wool coat (pg. 65.)

(I want it so bad. Can’t you tell?)

And before I gush over the roller coaster ride that’s Ash & Meredith’s smack down conversation, I must bring your attention to Mr. Meredith’s poor assistant, Ms. Brandish. She’s a bit cold to Ash, asking he has an appointment when Ash is clearly a regular. Ash notes this, then says this line: “My own professional advise is to go throw that virginity away somewhere. Anywhere. I heard it rots if you don’t use it.” (pg. 65) And I’m just WHAAATTT? WHAT?

Like, good grief Ash, what did she do to you to be so mean? That’s utterly rude. Was he in a bad mood or something - I mean yes, he just got betrayed by 2 gang members & had to shoot them up & chase them off, that’s got to have cut him up, it’s clear his gang are people he trusts - he’s not walking on sunshine here.

No, scratch that! It doesn’t matter! You do not insult someone over how little or how much sex they have. Also, making assumptions is stupid! Just because someone’s single doesn’t mean they’re a virgin! Idk. This just blew me for a loop. I’m just baffled. Especially because, far as I know, Ash is never so rude again. Not to someone who has less power than he does (this is called “punching down”.) Maybe part of why this struck me so hard is because Ms. Brandish is a female character, of which Banana Fish has a distinct lack of. Like female street gangs. Where are the female street gangs? (wines).

I mean, Fruits Basket has them in spades, to the point of you wouldn’t even know gangs of dudes exist, because they’re never mentioned! So why not Banana Fish? Sigh. I’m not going to forget this (the insult or lack of female street gangs). But nobody’s perfect & Ash in particular has all the cause in the world to be messed up when it comes to sex (though that’s no excuse.) Don’t ever insult someone that way! Moving on. To a glorious, glorious smack down conversation. I LIVE for the conversations in Banana Fish and here the wit’s sharp as a knife. I love it. I love this even more than Ash’s convo with Dino which I gushed hard over in Part 5. 

Was it Part 5? Agh, numbers.

https://imagine-fight-write.tumblr.com/post/641529643344723968/random-banana-fish-review-part-5-vol-1

Yes, it was. I am right, like always.

Anyway, I like Ash & Meredith’s covo more.

This is because, unlike his convo with Dino, Ash is on equal footing here, able to take and give smack talk. Neither he or not-Doc Meredith loses, it’s just an ongoing thing, and I love it. So, top of pg.66, Meredith comes out of surgery looking shady as all get out (the surgical mask doesn’t help.) So we already know he’s shady even before Ash confirms he’s not a licensed doc.

(And everyone says early Banana Fish art isn’t good - nach.) So. Ash starts things off with a quip, “Business is booming down at the clinic” only to inform us, “Mister Meredith is no longer licensed by the state of New York.” Also, Ash looks exactly like the smug teen he is when he says this, lounging in the not-doctor’s chair. I love it. I have to wonder. How did this relationship start? Is Ash’s comment a subtle reminder he could get Meredith in trouble if he wants? (It’s a very Dino-like thing to say, ugh.) Because it sure sounds like it. But Meredith also knows at least something about Ash’s past (see later in their convo) just as damaging. But at the same time Meredith does help Ash out in a major way later on - So no, I don’t think Ash is blackmailing him. Or if he is, Ash is mostly bluffing & Meredith knows this. Note also how Ash is bad at being nice to grown men (because of course he is.) So that might be part of his edge here.

And Meredith doesn’t take this lying down. He shoots back, “I have news for you Ash - that “J.D.” of yours doesn’t stand for Juris Doctor.” I’m scratching my head at this. It’s obviously an insult of some sort (at Ash’s intelligence? Which - haha, we all know Ash is smart at this point. Right?) Thoughts? Can anyone explain? Anyway, Meredith muses on the surgery he just did, “She had a fibroid on her uterus.” I have no idea what that means (tho I could guess) but it sounds awful. Ash quips, “you do sterilize the dustbuster first, right?” “Dustbuster” meaning uterus, I think. Also, dustbuster is a marvelous word. So fun to say. Makes me think of dustbunnies. Meredith is just, “take the medicine & go.” Like, give the man a break Ash, he just performed surgery. The medicine is, of course, for Griffin. Meredith warns Ash that it “only works for minor attacks” & “he should be in a hospital.” (This sounds like an old argument.) Ash snaps back with a great line, “What would they do - plant him in their vegetable garden?” Valid point. But - maybe actual doctors could help Griffin? Wouldn’t that be wonderful? Also note how this tells you Meredith knows about Griffin. He doesn’t know that Griffin is Ash’s brother (see later in convo) but he still knows about Griffin & his vegetable state. This is a lot of trust Ash has for Meredith, is what I’m trying to say. Ash being a teen with trust issues up to here. But, because he doesn’t know, Meredith asks, and you can hear the sneer in his voice, “Besides, what’s he [Griffin] to you? Don’t tell me he’s your lover.”

Sigh. Meredith also makes the assumption Ash is gay and shames him for it. Though it also raises the question - how does Meredith know or find out about Ash’s past, the one Marvin hinted about with the “movies”? Or does Meredith assume Ash is gay based on the context of him caring for an older man? (who he clearly hasn’t seen, or he’d know right away Ash & Griffin are brothers.) I hope for my health he didn’t watch those “movies” Marvin mentioned. But I don’t think so. I don’t think Ash would trust anyone who watched them. I wouldn’t either. And beat them with a stick. Anyway! More brilliant conversation (pg. 67) Ash - “I’ve got a favor to ask.” Meredith - “Uh-oh. Got confused and knocked someone up? I didn’t know you had it in you.” (Ouch. Zing.) Also, again the implication Ash only sleeps with men. Seriously, what is Ash’s reputation, & why does he have it? But then Meredith is nice.

“I’ll take care of it. I mean, being a dad at your age is a heavy responsibility.” Which is true. Ash is 17.

  But also, way to assume Ash doesn’t want to be a dad. 

  Not to mention - have you noticed where he (Ash) lives? The (delightfully) dingy apartment Griffin is in? The fact that Ash has like, 1 set of clothes, 1 jacket, 1 coat, & a vest. Ok, scratch that, 2 shirts. But still! I have no idea what he does for $$$. Wait. Hold up. Stop. 

Maybe that’s why everyone thinks he’s gay, because he sells himself . . . . . . . . .

Don’t mind me, I’m going to bawl my eyes out in a corner and simultaneously cuss out everyone who thinks, “No, buying somebody for sex is fine, of course they enjoy it.

 And I pay them well -”

[ERROR. ERROR. TEMPORARILY UNAVAILABLE. ERROR.]

Whoo. I’m not recovered, but I am back.

Curse my avid imagination. And then bless it, because I love my imagination. No, I assume Ash does other stuff to get $$$. He’s a leader of a gang, for crying out loud. (I have no idea what they do, haha.)

Does anyone know? Please comment! Let’s continue. Meredith is all (snigger) “Did you knock someone up?” (and grown-ups call children childish.) Ash punches back with, “Not your usual services” and shows Meredith a packet of what was in the vial. Banana Fish. (pg. 68) Am I the only one whose ever only seen those paper medicine packets only in manga? There was one in Rurouni Kenshin too. Is this more of a Japan thing? Anyway, Meredith is like, “What is that?” Ash confirms it’s not dope & asks him to analyze it. Meredith is like, “Sure, for overtime” meaning “if you pay me” and Ash goes, “When you don’t have your hand up, you’ve got it out,” 

Reminding the reader of how Meredith was grumbling about Ash having to call him before he comes in. Then Ash says, “Be seeing you.” And all I can think of is The Prisoner, an obscure British T.V. show, 

Brilliantly reviewed by Dominic Noble here:

But wait! There’s more! Ash quips,

“Don’t let any of those tiny ghosts haunt you.” Meredith fires back, “I’ll do your autopsy for free when they fry you in the chair.” Ah, I love it. Such beautiful wit. This is how you write dialog. The reader doesn’t have to be told point blank Meredith does abortions - it’s eluded to in the dialog. Or that he & Ash have been doing this for a while, Ash paying for the medicine and picking it up. Even Meredith’s question of what relationship Ash has with the guy he’s getting the medicine for sounds like an old question he’s asked before. Or maybe I’m completely wrong & they’ve only been doing this for a few months. Who knows. Regardless, their banter is so refreshingly playful and equal compared to Ash’s convo with Dino. Sure there’s a power play, but it’s equal. And speaking of Dino -

I love his shocked expression top of pg. 69. This is the start of the famous duck scene I had to gush about in the last post. My priorities are important and valid! Anyway, Angie (and his fabulous mustache) is reporting to Dino that Ash was found with the body of the poor Banana Fish guy by his 2 (former) gang members. Dino rightly surmises Banana Fish guy might’ve said something or Ash took something off his body (both are true, as we know.) I like Dino’s contemplative face. The study is such a mob boss 80s den, I love it. Dino’s polio shirt with cravat bothers me, though. *I can’t spell cravat, help me. Top of pg. 70 - oh hi, Marvin, almost didn’t see you on the last page. Marvin asks to “grill” Ash, a.k.a. question him, and Dino is all, “No, no, he’s a sharp one.” (meaning Marvin’s not? Ha! But it’s true!) We learn the 2 (former) gang members are in the front hall, and this happens: Dino has a great line, “I think they’ve heard enough stories.” Angie goes “Sir?” Both he and Marvin have marks noting surprise or shock, or maybe flinching? But I don’t think either one is exactly surprised or puzzled. More - ugh, please not this. And Dino clarifies, “Drive them down to the Pine Barrens and kill them both.” 

(Like, he doesn’t trust them to know they need to kill both of them, not just one).

But I can’t laugh because, not only is Dino ordering them to commit murder, but to kill 2 boys. 2 boys who know nothing. And they do. I will never forgive Angie. His mustache can burn to ash. Hercule Poirot’s is better!

And eventually the police find them (their bodies.) But first scene change! It occurs to me that there’s no real chapters in Banana Fish. I really think it’d help. But considering it came out in the 80s, maybe chapters weren’t a thing yet? Remember, manga volumes are essentially complied pages of the manga / comic from a magazine put into a book. There’s no chapters in a magazine comic, so there’s no chapters in the volume - yet. I’m surprised Banana Fish volumes haven’t been reissued with chapters & chapter title pages. Mine’s from a 2nd printing in 2018. Huh. Anyway. The police found the Banana Fish guy! And have no clue who he is. Bummer. Pros for the autopsy guy, Gordon, for being a Black guy, but also eloquent, (pg.71) *I can’t spell autopsy or eloquent “A gentleman among corpses, detective.” - This makes me think of Sherlock Holmes.

(That’s Basil Rathbone, for those in the back.)

The autopsy guy continues,

“Three neat holes like a suit coat. Nice and clean . . . You have to appreciate such distinctions in this profession friend. Why, the state of that fellow we have in here last Tuesday? . . . Made it very difficult for me to enjoy my hamburger.”

So Ash’s (former) gang members are good shots? Makes sense.

And that’s all for now. Hopefully I’ll be on time next Wednesday & we’ll meet Max, Ibe, and Eiji!!!! There is a diabolical plot against Ash! A bar fight!

#random #banana fish #banana fish review #part 6 #the prisoner #dominic noble #sherlock holmes #basil rathbone #manga

[365days365movies]

February 2, 2021: Pretty Woman (1990)

ALL RISE FOR THE KING AND QUEEN OF ROMANCIA!

First, we bow to the Actor King of Romancia, Richard Gere. Gere is a DYNAMO of romantic movies, having starred in The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, American Gigolo, An Officer and a Gentleman, Sommersby, Autumn in New York, Chicago, Shall We Dance?, Runaway Bride, and of course, Pretty Woman. He was crowned king of this fictionation both because of his film prowess, and because DUDE HAS DATED A LOT OF FAMOUS PEOPLE GODDAMN

Second, we bow to the Actress Queen of Romancia, Julia Roberts.

Roberts’ resume is equally romantic, including films such as Notting Hill, My Best Friend’s Wedding, Eat Pray Love, Steel Magnolias, Mystic Pizza, Runaway Bride, and of course, Pretty Woman. She was crowned queen of this fictionation because, I mean...it’s Julia Roberts, man. Who else was gonna be queen, Meg Ryan? She’s too busy ruling the Holy Romance Empire.

Yes. Yes, I will be visiting the Holy Romance Empire soon.

Anyway, one of the advisors to this great land was the now sadly passed Garry Marshall, a seasoned romantic movie director, responsible for The Princess Diaries (and its terrible sequel), Beaches, Runaway Bride (shit, should I watch this one?), and those bad holiday romance movies from the late 2000′s. You know, Valentine’s Day, New Year’s Eve, Mother’s Day? Yeah, that’s the guy.

Marshall was appointed an advisor of Romancia because of his role as director of the film...you know.

Enough navel-gazing; let’s get into Pretty Woman, shall we? I, for one, am looking forward to venturing further into the land of Romancia! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

We start at a party where...George Costanza?

Huh! Phil Stuckey (Jason Alexander), a lawyer and kind of an asshole, is romancing women at a party, held on the behalf of Edward Lewis (Richard Gere), a businessman from New York. However, he’s currently in California away from his unhappy girlfriend back east, who’s feeling a tad neglected by the constantly busy Edward.

Meanwhile, on a less-than-great side of town lives Vivian Ward (Julia Roberts), a prostitute working the mean streets of Hollywood. Making her way to the red-light district, she enters the Blue Banana Club (which is...a name, that’s for sure), where she finds her roommate Kit De Luca (Laura San Giacomo). Laura’s unfortunately spent their rent on drugs, during the height of the cocaine epidemic in Hollywood.

The two meet each other on the street, where Edward’s lost, and struggling with Phil’s stick-shift Lotus Espirit. She offers to give him directions for money, and he reluctantly accepts. She gets in, and guides him back to his hotel. As he struggles to drive, she displays her knowledge of cars from back home. He then offers to drive the car for him, and also shows her prowess as a driver. Which...is pretty neat.

He asks how much she makes in her profession, as the two roll up to his hotel. As they begin to part ways, he asks her instead to accompany him into the hotel. She’s about as charmed and gawky as I would be going into a sick-ass hotel like that. The elevator in it has a FUCKING SOFA INSIDE, YES PLEASE

Edward’s a little embarrassed by her gawking, but they quickly get past it. Edward’s graveyard-still complacency is contrasted by her manic pixie energy. Not that she’s a manic pixie dream girl...I think. It’s more of a “rock-and-balloon” relationship deal. When Vivian busts out the condoms (she’s a “safety-girl”), Edward instead says he wants to “talk.”

During this talk, it’s revealed that his girlfriend has officially broken up with him, leaving him conspicuously single. He asks if she can stay the entire night, and she agrees for a price, to which he gladly agrees. They spend the night getting to know each other, although Edward is doing business during much of it. And she’s watching TV, and it gives off these kinda weird daddy-daughter vibes (not kink-shaming, mind you), and it’s...mildly uncomfortable.

This quickly progresses into her beginning to seduce him, and the two presumably have sex. We cut away just before anything happens, though. Afterwards, Edward takes a shower, as Vivian falls asleep, taking her wig off for the first time.

The next morning, Edward talks to Phil about an upcoming business purchase, when Vivian walks into the room. He’s ordered breakfast for them. ALL OF THE BREAKFAST. Seriously, everything on the menu. Motherfucker, do you KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE ROOM SERVICE IS? WE GET IT YOU’RE RICH

He reveals just how rich he is, noting that he buys companies on the brink of failure, and then sells pieces of the companies he buys. Vivian equates this to a chop-shop, which seems extremely accurate. On another call, Phil tells him that it would be better if he had a date. And it looks like...he already has one.

Yeah, Phil “hires” Vivian to be his girlfriend for a week. For $3000, she accepts, and I feel just a little icky. And yet...I dunno, we’ll see. He’s doing this purely to avoid romantic attachment, which is a little weird, but understandable? Maybe?

At this point, we get one of the most iconic scenes in the film, as the uptight women at a Rodeo Drive store tell her to leave, like assholes. They’ll get their comeuppance, though. OHHHHHH, THEY’LL get it. This compounds when the hotel manager, Barnard “Barney” Thompson (Héctor Elizondo), questions her presence there. And while it seems that he’s going to kick her out, he actually helps her out with an outfit.

Meanwhile, Edward’s business deal begins to go somewhat south, until Edward takes advantage of GOVERNMENT CORRUPTION. Anyway, Vivian goes to a local department store, where Barney’s friend Bridget (Elinor Donahue) helps her out with a cocktail dress. When she heads back, Barney acts like a bro once again and teaches her proper etiquette, Emily Post style.

Edward heads back to the hotel, where Vivian is waiting for him. And she looks cuuuuuuuuuuute. Edward thinks so, too, and they head to the corporate dinner. There waitselderly businessman James Morse (Ralph Bellamy), and his grandson David (Alex Hyde-White). We get a taste of just how vicious of a businessman Edward is, and Vivian makes a much better impression on the Morses than Edward does. Also, Eddie’s kind of a sociopath, huh? Or, at least, he has some sociopathic tendencies. I dunno his pure emotionlessness is rubbing me a weird way.

After the dinner goes VIOLENTLY south, the two begin to relate to each other a bit more. He notes that he prefers not to bring emotion into business, although he apparently does like Mr. Morse. He also notes that his father died a month ago, but it doesn’t appear to affect him much. Still he heads downstairs to get some air. Later, Vivian gets the bellhop, Dennis (Patrick Richwood) to help her find him, and she does. He’s playing piano like a GODDAMN MANIAC HOLY SHIT! Just like, “Don’t mind me, I’m just playing an operetta to PUT THE KNIFE FEELINGS TO SLEEP IAMTHEZODIACKILLER.” This manic performance is followed by the two just...fuckin’ on the piano. They just FUCK IN THE LOUNGE RIGHT ON THAT PIANO JESUS CHRIST GUYS

The next morning, post-musex, they go to get outfits together, in which Gere buys a massive set of outfits, and we get the first makeover montage this month! He also flashes even more sociopathic flair with a clothing store owner, goddamn. And that’s...when we get the song.

I mean, we had to get this song in here at some point, right? She also engages in the most iconically HUGE moment of the film. You know what I’m talking about, and it’s beautifully cathartic, my Lord.

Meanwhile, at work, Edward’s starting to...lose it, I guess? As Phil’s encouraging him to close in on Morse for the kill, Edward’s beginning to grow a heart. And may I note that he’s been in this relationship for TWO DAYS. Jesus, buddy, you’ve really never had a meaningful relationship, huh? They eventually go to a polo match for business reasons, here Phil finally meets Vivian. Vivian also notices that none of the high-society people here seem like, well...friends.

Turns out that David Morse is one of the polo players, and Vivian starts to speak with him. Phil, meanwhile, notices this, and suspects her of being a corporate spy. And Edward, like an ABSOLUTE ASSHOLE, tells her that Vivian’s a prostitute. Phil LITERALLY IMMEDIATELY GOES AFTER HER, and solicits her like a fucking CREEP.

This obviously very much upsets her, and she chews Edward out back at the hotel. And the argument that follows IMMEDIATELY puts me on Vivian’s side, because Edward’s being a sociopathic douchenozzle. Goddamn. She rightfully wants to leave, and he just lets her. And here’s the real kicker; she doesn’t take the money.

And that’s when Edward sincerely apologizes to her, as best as he can. And yeah, he’s a little sociopathic, but I can see that the dude is trying? The two make up, and once again open up to each other. Edward starts to realize, in turn, that he legitimately has feelings for her. And we head into the third act of the film.

The next day, Edward leaves work early to go on a date with Vivian, and Phil asks if the date is with “the hooker.” And Edwards flashes him a look that’s just...knifey. I’m still not convinced he isn’t the Zodiac Killer. He takes her to an opera in San Francisco, before which we get this scene.

Adorable. God, I love Vivian. Also Dennis and Barney are the best, and they’re super fucking invested, and I am HERE for it. Their date to the opera is...sublime. Understand, my girlfriend and I watched this entire film together, and we’re both in love with Vivian and the opera after it. Imma take her to the opera on a date one of these days, I swear it.

That night, they play chess together, and Edward actually takes the following day off. He also actually sleeps in a bed for once, instead of going to work. And this is when my girlfriend the following phrase:

Is he sculpting her, or is she sculpting him?

OK, that fantastic question is one of the reasons we’re together, but also a very interesting point. Lemme explain here. This is very much a Pygmalion story in a few ways. While not a straight adaptation by any means, this film is definitely taking a few ideas from the Pygmalion trope. See, if you don’t know, Pygmalion’s a Greek myth about a sculptor who falls in love with his statue. It’s been adapted multiple times throughout the history of the arts, but the most prominent version of this was the stage musical My Fair Lady, famously adapted into a film starring Audrey Hepburn in 1964.

And again, a lot of adaptations of that, too. While Pretty Woman isn’t explicitly an adaptation of either work, the themes are still present in the work. So, yeah, it’s a good point. In this version, she’s changing him as much as he’s changing her. The sculpture is sculpting the sculptor. Which is cool.

And then, as we had that cute little revelation, Vivian tells Edward that she loves him. And OH FUCK. It’s the last day. And when he says he doesn’t want this to be the last of them together, she takes it as romantic. But when he essentially proposes making her a beck-and-call girl, putting her up in an apartment and hooking her up with dresses...she’s understandably not interested. She says that, as a little girl, she dreamed of a white knight that would sweep her off her feet and take her away. But Edward isn’t that knight.

Have I mentioned how much I love Vivian? Because Vivian’s fuckin’ fantastic, Jesus Christ.

Edward decides to leave, and says that he’s done all he can at this point. He leaves, and she’s shattered. Kit, meanwhile, comes to visit her at the hotel, and she admits that she’s fallen in love with him. While Kit’s initially worried about it, she says that they could maybe settle down and buy some diamonds and a horse. I also love Kit.

Meanwhile, at the meeting with Mr. Morse, Edward turns the tables on Phil and his yes-men, and asks to speak with Mr. Morse alone. Phil’s gobsmacked by this, but agrees. Once they’re alone, Edward admits that he no longer wishes to buy his company and destroy it. Instead, he wants to help him rebuild his company. And Morse agrees, telling Edward that he’s proud of him.

Phil, EXTREMELY irritated by this, and decided to make his way to talk to Edward at the hotel. And that’s when he finds Vivian. FUUUUUUUUCK. As expected, Phil tries to r*pe her, and that’s when Edward shows up, and BEATS THE FUCK OUT OF HIM.

Edward tells Phil off, calling him an EVEN BIGGER sociopath than he is, and kicks him out. Friendship ended with Phil. Now Vivian is his best friend. But despite this, Vivian still realizes that their relationship, at least the one she wants, seems impossible. Conceding, and on his way back to New York now, Edward pays her, and tells her to call him if she ever needs anything. 

But he asks her to stay one more night with him, not because of money...BUT BECAUSE OF LOVE. And she replies that she can’t...and they part ways. Vivian goes to say goodbye to Barney, who still rules. He calls a cab for her, and says that she can visit them anytime. My girlfriend says that she would leave me for Barney, and I agree. I agree so much, because she deserves the best, and the best is Barney, and I could never BE Barney. 

I could never be Barney.

It’s over now, as the song in the background says, and Edward laments his lost relationship as the thunder rolls in. Vivian decides to finally go to San Francisco, and finish high school, inspired by Edward’s love and faith for her. She passes that faith onto Kit as she says goodbye. Fuuuuuuck, man, this goodbye hurts as well.

Edward goes to the lobby, and talks to Barney one last time. AND BARNEY TELLS EDWARD WHERE VIVIAN WENT, LIKE A GODDAMN CHAMPION. WHY CAN’T I BE AS PERFECT AS BARNEY????

He makes his way to her apartment, and buys flowers from a woman with a Cockney accent, WHICH IS A MY FAIR LADY REFERNCE! HOLY SHIT! He arrives in a white limo at her place, overcomes his fear of heights and climbs a fire escape in a metaphorical tower to rescue his princess. 

THAT’S HOLLYWOOD, BABY! And it’s Pretty Woman as well. That was a very heartwarming film, and I’m very glad that I watched it! Is it perfect? Ehhhhhhhh, see you at the Review.

#Pretty Woman #garry marshall #richard gere #julia roberts #ralph bellamy #jason alexander #Héctor Elizondo #laura san giacomo #365 movie challenge #365 movies 365 days #365 Days 365 Movies #365 movies a year #user365 #userlar #userrosetylers #vivian ward #edward lewis #my gifs #mygifs #romance february

[softgrungeprophet]

have now read (almost) all of wyatt wingfoot’s actual comic appearances, can say with great confidence: a lot of them are pretty bad

only one was so bad i stopped reading after like, one issue (that was earth X, an alternate timeline) though to be fair i also have not even bothered to read the most recent issue of slott’s run because that’s also bad, but i know generally what happens and my verdict is: it sucks

anyway my personally most-enjoyed wyatt appearances in chronological order:

-OG meet-cute in 1966 aka Fantastic Four #50 thru #61 which includes their first meeting, and wyatt’s adventure with johnny in africa... this is also the first appearance of black panther i think. it’s definitely dated but surprisingly tame compared to the 70s-80s comics and there are some real good moments... wyatt is immediately ready to throw the fuck down for johnny and he is tall and handsome.

Prefacing this with: I’m white, but I wanna point out some shit before I actually continue the list.

Here i have to note that anything from 1970-2000 has a 50/50 chance of coloring wyatt real badly, even in the digital recolors, with only a few exceptions. The worst offender is in the early 90s in Sensational She-Hulk but that is NOT on my list because it’s bad. Most of the comics on this list, especially as we get into later and better-done comics, do not have red skin because there seems to be a correlation between bad art and bad story, but there are a few sprinkled in here with questionable pink-to-red coloring choices, particularly around the issue 200-somethings of Fantastic Four, and in general around the 70s and 80s.

I also wanna add here that around 1973, after stan lee had stopped writing fantastic four, after repeated statements to do with wyatt’s Comanche heritage (aka a real tribe in OK), gerry conway introduced “Keewazi,” a completely fake made-up tribe which then completely supplanted all but a few mentions of wyatt being Comanche (that being like, a brief comment implying his dead ancestors were comanche but that he is “keewazi”) with only one exception for an errant “Konohoti” (also made-up and in a bad comic that i won’t be recommending anyway) Said conway comic is not on my recommended list, either, but it has a notable line in which wyatt says he feels like he’s known johnny since before he ever met him, which i think about constantly...

Also, (and this is from me googling things to get better understandings of IRL stuff, as i read my way through f4 comics, so it’s by no means an expert’s words and i am still just a white person trying to get context) there are many mentions of Wyatt being on the reservation, of his family living on the reservation, teaching on the reservation, the tribe’s land being taken by oil companies, etc. but Oklahoma does not have reservations the way other states do and has not for decades. It also sounds like Wyatt becoming chief based only on being the previous chief’s grandson is pretty unlikely, but that’s a thing in the comics too.

There are a lot of inaccuracies and stereotypes in almost all of Wyatt’s appearances that are pretty blatant even to white-ass people like me, but some are better about this than others, for sure. So, keep that in mind even with the ones I list as enjoyable.

OKAY

the rest of the list

i’m just kinda doing a semi chrono order rather than “best to worst” order

-there’s SOME stuff from Fantastic Four #269 thru #280 that i liked but i really could not tell you specific issues and the way wyatt and jen meet is really not well done. i remember kinda liking the arc about central city being transported to the future, in which wyatt has a pretty brief appearance... but overall I just really don’t like John Byrne’s writing so ehh can’t really recommend but some of it’s like, fine

-Marvel Fanfare (1982) #37 [B Story] is pretty cute and brief. involves a double date between reed/sue and jen/wyatt with johnny as the fifth wheel, and also time travel. and arm wrestling. It’s not heavy on Wyatt but it’s cute in general.

-Marvel Graphic Novel #18 (the Sensational She-Hulk) is like............. i’m VERY torn on this. i think overall it has a lot of fun elements but as always with john byrne there’s plenty of bad mixed in, both in terms of sexualizing shulkie, byrne thinking he’s funnier than he actually is, and a bad scene w/ wyatt but it has some really cute moments too. it’s a real mixed bag, man. the infamous “she-hulk carries wyatt under her arm” scene is from this one... long and short is “shield captures she-hulk and wyatt, and they bust out.” Less racist than wyatt’s appearances in the following sensational she-hulk run john byrne did after this, which is NOT SAYING A LOT because wyatt’s appearances in that comic run were pretty fucking offensive. if you like jenwyatt i guess read this, like, it’s fine, but... eh...

-She-Hulk: Ceremony (only 2 jumbo issues long) is another one I’m veeeerrryyyy torn on but RIGHT off the bat i will say it is worth more than the weight of all john byrne’s wyatt scenes combined. The pacing is kind of really weird, it’s got a lot of odd mystical native stereotypes in it... but it’s got really nice art though and mcduffie gives wyatt i think some of the most depth/nuance of any of these comics... he and jen are both equally important and treated as complex characters from the very first page to the very last... it’s one of those comics where i can’t say, “read it despite its flaws” because I just... don’t know. and it’s a comic which has had almost no impact on the works that followed, but at the same time it does have some really nice stuff for both jen and wyatt’s characters. this is the one where wyatt and jen almost get married and wyatt almost goes to law school. anyway I personally really liked it despite its flaws and it seems more researched than some other things but it’s definitely still lacking in some of its approach to indigenous stuff. dwayne mcduffie being black i think does give it a little something that it would otherwise lack, if it had been written by a white dude like all the other things.

-Marvel Graphic Novel #62 (Ka-zar: Guns of the Savage Land) based on the synopsis I read, I expected this to be bad but it was actually alright? I liked the art, wyatt’s handsome... BUT there’s a lot of weird condescending paternalism to it, wrt the indigenous groups and how they’re depicted, and i think that’s a pretty big, glaring flaw along with some of the usual caveats that come with anything relating to the savage land (including, you know, the name itself), but the rest of it is not half bad. ka-zar’s a jackass though. it’s one of the MANY stories wyatt appears in which feature an oil company as the bad guys (Roxxon in this case) but it’s one of the only ones that’s actually halfway decent.

-Marvel Super-Heroes vol 2 #5 (Treasure) short and sweet, features a sea monster, jen and wyatt on a little getaway together, and wyatt wearing heart-patterned swim trunks. almost forgot this one cause it’s easy to miss, but it’s really cute.

-Fantastic Four #394 was okay if i recall. this is when wyatt, johnny, jen, and some others go out to an archaeology dig and lyja stalks johnny. johnny telling wyatt he ought to bottle his charm and sell it... is good. everything with lyja... less good. jen, wyatt and johnny palling around... great. everything with lyja.... not great. a real mixed bag for me.

-Strange Tales vol 3 #1 i did not hate. if i remember correctly it has the same artist as guns of the savage land. it’s about the power of storytelling. i enjoyed this in particular because it shows wyatt’s grandfather as like... a human with interests beyond just being a Wise Old Man--he reads monster magazines! i liked that a lot. it’s still kinda... iffy in spots, especially with doctor strange involved, but it was still fun and i like when wyatt and his family get treated like human beings.

-Fantastic Force was actually pretty fun, I think. Wyatt is only in issues #12-16 so that’s all I bothered to read but it has this very amusing moment of wyatt saying how it’s unfortunate his and jen’s relationship wasn’t meant to work out but he treasures her friendship... while holding her hand after a date. starting on issue 12 there was some context missing but i didn’t really... care.... my reading style is plowing through random issues without ever reading the context and then going: idk what’s going on

-Fantastic Four vol 2 Listen. I know this comic is not “good” but I liked it and that’s what matters here. This is Franklin’s pocket dimension of the heroes reborn alternate universe... it’s definitely flawed, and i think it tries to cram a lot in for the sake of including classic characters, but i honestly really enjoyed it a lot and wyatt is not insignificant, though he’s not like, majorly important either. reading order gets a little fucking weird around issue 12 at which point you gotta also read issue 12 of the heroes reborn versions of avengers, iron man, and captain america. there are reading guides though, thank god. it’s fun, it’s a different take on the four that nonetheless has lots of small nods to the classic comics... a lot of people think it’s bad and like. i get why. but i think it was enjoyable and engaging minus the parts where i was forced to read avengers comics. wyatt’s actually only in issues 4-6 but i wound up starting from the beginning and reading the whole thing except the final issue cause that continued some new plot i didn’t care about from some other comic--it really breaks up in the end there lmao.... Relatedly, i don’t think heroes reborn: ashema is much worth the read; it’s like, fine, but wyatt’s five second appearance is kind of random and features tomazooma which means i immediately dislike it. like CONCEPTUALLY, wyatt piloting a mech is great. but... not that mech.

-Fantastic Four: The End. this comic... is... weird? it’s fine? i don’t know, i don’t think i’d go out of my way to recommend it but at the same time i didn’t hate it? so i’ll include it here. it’s an alternate future featuring some wild robo doom as the villain. wyatt runs an asteroid mining company for some reason. peter has a goatee. ben has like three kids with alicia. johnny rides the silver surfer’s board. it was... definitely interesting. and one of the comics in which sue has short hair, which is always a bonus for me.

-She-Hulks: (yes, with the plural) It’s a mini. I REALLY liked this. wyatt’s in like, two issues but I genuinely recommend the whole thing (it’s only 4 issues total) I really liked this comic, I thought it was a lot of fun and wyatt and jen’s interactions were really sweet. My biggest crits are that the author falls into the same “failing to write teenage girls” pitfalls as many, many marvel writers, and that stegman draws wyatt literally an entire foot too short. but i prefer this old stegman art vastly to his grungy current art. INTERESTING NOTE HERE is that wyatt’s appearances in this comic were published riiight around the same time johnny straight-up died in hickman’s fantastic four run, which is honestly fascinating to contemplate and also extra heartbreaking that i never got to see how wyatt found out considering he was almost definitely in the city when it happened. anyway. good, bittersweet as all hell on the she-hulk front, really enjoyable for me. i did not bother to read any of the hulk comics preceding it for context and i don’t think you need to, to understand it.

-Captain America Corps --This comic is.... something. wyatt is only in the last two issues in a minor role but the whole series is again only 5 issues and I honestly really enjoyed it? Though I think it tripped over itself in a few places. It involves time travel, captain america, an alternate 21st century which would be heavy-handed if it weren’t for trump. I think it gets its message a little tangled up in parts, especially near the end with the femazon whatever bullshit (so close to talking about white women’s privileges), but overall it was a fun little AU mini-series, with some flaws. it also implies that wyatt goes on to become the president which is the funniest thing i’ve ever read. he would hate that so much, man

-FF vol 2. not fantastic four. FF. just the initials. WITH A CAVEAT. Okay. Wyatt is in issues #3-4, 8, and 16. This one is a tough one, though.  This series. I like the art mostly. I like Wyatt’s scenes (tho i will pick a bone with mr fraction about wyatt’s supposed inability to pronounce french or know what to order at a french restaurant when he is multilingual and has gone to several french restaurants before) ANYWAY. Wyatt is really great in these appearances I think, charming, handsome, etc. The issues focusing on the kids, on interpersonal relationships, etc... i really like. But the rest. I do not like at all. The entire doom plot, I hated. Issue 16? Skip to the barbecue on the moon. I mean it. The bulk of issue 16 is a vastly uncomfortable, drawn-out fight scene between ant-man and doctor doom that just made me feel gross to read and just happens to be one of the only comics Victor has ever spoken Romani. So that’s... not great. The plot as a whole--I did not like it, especially not the stuff written by Allred, and I cannot recommend it unless you fucking hate doctor doom and want to watch him get beaten up for like literally 10 pages. That being said... again, the stuff with the kids? with bentley, and the moloids, and tong coming out, and the stuff with she-hulk and wyatt? I really really liked, and I thought was really sweet and fun. Oh also Wyatt looking at old man johnny and just knowing it’s him? chef kiss. So. definitely just. skip around. It’s a REAL mixed bag but there is some good stuff in there amidst the like...burnt peanuts.

-She-Hulk volume 3: wyatt is only in #5-6 and #12, really, with brief shots of his photo in some earlier issues BUT. I read the whole thing. It’s 12 issues total, and I really enjoyed it. The plot you think gets dropped does not get dropped, wyatt punches some demons in the face in the background, patsy is there... I really liked it. The art is a bit all over the place, and is not for everyone--it features Javier Pulido’s work for the majority, and I honestly... really like his work for its style and expressiveness but it REALLY is not for everyone, visually. Obviously Kevin Wada’s covers are gorgeous. The other artist who I forget the name of draws wyatt like... nigh unrecognizably, it’s really weird, and I don’t like his work as much but he does have some good spreads here and there. Colors are fantastic throughout. Again, really liked it. A little iffy on the secretary with the monkey.

-Fantastic Four vol 5 #11-12. These are the issues in which Wyatt gets shot by “hawkeye” and he and spidey hold an intervention for Johnny. I actually started with issue... 9 I think to just read the whole story, and I did enjoy that, though I will pick a fight over the idea that wyatt is a womanizer and would just toy with sharon who prior to this there was never any evidence they were romantically involved ANYWAY. I liked it. I felt feelings about Wyatt and Johnny, as well as the rest of the family. It switches to legacy numbering at one point and goes into:

-Fantastic Four #643-645 which is the rest of the story. I THINK 9-12 + 642-645 is everything.... Either way, I liked it a lot despite the fact that I’m really not a fan of Jesus Aburtov’s color work. Features the Heroes Reborn versions of the Avengers but like, empty, which was a fun nod.

-Hulk vol 4 #11 okay. wyatt’s not actually in this aside from jen reminiscing about her love life and showing like, two flashback panels of him. but. i really liked it a lot and i read the whole run based on the One (1) issue containing those panels. mariko tamaki has a great sense of humor and i found her fourth wall breaking to be actually funny sometimes instead of, like byrne’s, nigh intolerable. she also does some really solid character work for jen (which was later, of course, mangled by the avengers writers 🙄) the following she hulk series is a little less solid but i can imagine it was rushed because of the avengers comic, so, really, i’ll just blame everything on the avengers.

don’t read dan slott’s f4. i’ve read bad comics. i’ve read bad f4 comics. i’ve read bad wyatts. his run pings all of these. how do you write wyatt wingfoot out of character?! ask dan slott. oh, except #5′s bachelor party issue which I do think is fun and has wyatt in the background in a snazzy red tuxedo. #5 is actually my favorite issue of the whole run, which, to be fair, is not saying much. the first like, 2 issues and then issue 5 are really the most solid in there, and it just goes downhill from there.

cool.

anyway.

those are the comics featuring wyatt that i’ve enjoyed the most and coincidentally also the fantastic four and she-hulk comics i’ve read that i’ve enjoyed the most because the venn diagram of “fantastic four comics i have read” and “comics including wyatt wingfoot in some capacity” is a circle.

#nadia reads comics #this post is a bit of a long one but if you are curious... #comics #wyatt wingfoot

[mst3kproject]

Tobor the Great

This was a movie YouTube thought I ought to watch. It’s so bad even Leonard Maltin didn’t like it.

Two scientists, Dr. Harrison and Dr. Nordstrom, are concerned about the effects of space travel on the human body, and so they attempt to convince the Civil Interplanetary Flight Commission (think NASA, but with funding) to use an alternative form of test pilot.  No, sit down, dog- and monkey-lovers in the audience, I’m talking about a huge, unwieldy, unnecessarily humanoid robot!  Obviously, foreign agents want to steal this machine and turn it into a huge, unwieldy weapon instead of a huge, unwieldy astronaut, but Nordstrom’s grandson Brian saves the day using his special telepathic link with Tobor!

The movie does not believe we’re smart enough to figure out why the robot’s name is Tobor.  It spells it out for us, literally and on more than one occasion.

Tobor the Great is a children’s movie – the main character is eleven-year-old Brian, who is mostly addressed by his nickname, Gadget or Gadge.  He’s established as an engineering genius in his own right, who gets to hang around in his grandfather’s lab and make friends with this cool robot.  He’s what every white American boy in the 50’s was supposed to want to be.  All of which makes it sort of weird that we don’t meet him until nearly fifteen minutes into the movie.

Consider some better children’s movies.  In Coco, Miguel is the literal as well as the metaphorical narrator – we begin with his voice telling us the backstory.  Lilo and Stitch gives us one title character almost immediately, and then brings in the second as quickly as it can to get us to the point where they meet.  Of course, you don’t have to introduce the main character first in a movie, but if you’re going to put it off you have to do it skillfully.  Star Wars takes its time getting around to Luke Skywalker, but it’s already given us somebody to follow in the form of C-3P0 and R2-D2, who make good audience proxies because 3P0 doesn’t know what’s going on any more than we do.  Tobor the Great lets nearly a quarter of its running time go by before we finally meet Gadge, and even more before we get to Tobor himself, and that time is spent setting up what seems to be a rather different movie.

The opening does establish the need for Tobor, but it takes way too long about it.  We start with narration and stock footage about the American space program, which is as deathly boring as it always is in these movies. Maybe it seemed more exciting in the fifties, when space rockets were the coolest thing around.  Then we get into Dr. Harrison and his complaints about unsafe practices, which lead to his resignation and to him trying to dodge the press before meeting the likeminded Dr. Nordstrom.

These seem like strange things to put in a children’s movie. I feel that a lot more time is spent justifying the need for a robotic astronaut than is really necessary, and the early close focus on Dr. Harrison makes it seem like he’s going to be our main character – but he fades into the background once we get to Dr. Nordstrom’s lab and at the end he’s not much more than a completely unnecessary love interest for Gadge’s widowed mother.  In Star Wars the two droids stick around and participate in the plot for the whole movie – Dr. Harrison doesn’t.  The politicking within the CIFC is not something children are likely to be interested in, nor is the nagging newspaper man, and all of these scenes are just guys in suits talking.  Very little actually happens and none of it involves robots carrying off beautiful women like the poster shows us!

The annoying reporter is a particularly odd inclusion. His name is Mr. Gilligan, which Joel and the ‘bots would have found hilarious.  I went into Tobor the Great totally blind, having never heard of it when the thumbnail appeared in my YouTube recommendations, but if I’d read a plot summary or something beforehand, maybe I wouldn’t have expected Gilligan to play a major role in the plot.  As it was, I figured he was either a Soviet spy or would unintentionally pass information on to them – but he vanishes after the first press conference, and the question of whether he has the right to compromise national security in the name of selling newspapers is never dealt with.  Instead the spies are a bunch of guys we’ve never seen before.

Once all this is over with, though, we do finally get to see Tobor strut his stuff.  Nordstrom and Harrison work on programming him to do things like type reports to be sent back to Earth and dodge meteor showers (as all 50’s space rockets had to do), while Gadge sits and watches… and does very little else.  You’d think this part of the movie would continue the thread of Gadge being the equal of the adult scientists, maybe overlapping with him and Tobor bonding, but there’s almost none of either.  Why set up Gadge as a prodigy if you’re not going to make use of it?  At the climax we expect Gadge to save the day by figuring something out, as he showed he could do earlier.  Instead he just shuts his eyes and thinks really hard at Tobor, like Ichi trying to summon Gamera. It works, but it’s not as satisfying as it could have been.  At the end the movie has neatly avoided almost all of its potential and anything that might have been cool to watch, and failed to give us anything it seemed to promise.

To make things even worse, Gadge is played by one of those insanely cloying 50’s child actors who say things like “oh, gosh!” and “gee whillikers!”  I cannot imagine anybody actually talking like this.  Actor Billy Chaplin sure makes it sound fake as hell.  While Chaplin is a decent actor physically, everything he says sounds stilted and unnatural, like he’s reading it off notes while trying to project his voice to a full auditorium.  The adult actors are much better, which just makes Chaplin look all the worse by comparison.

Tobor, on the other hand, is wonderful, in the ‘stupid cardboard movie robot’ way that makes Torg from Santa Claus Conquers the Martians and the delightfully awful robot of Devil Girl from Mars so much fun.  It’s got lots of blinky lights and moving parts, and stamps around with a pretty convincing sense of weight.  Unlike some movie robots it actually moves at a good clip when it wants to, perhaps helped by the fact that it has working knees.  The movie makes the point that Tobor is a large and dangerous piece of kit at the same time as it’s able to be gentle and dexterous, which reinforces the idea that it would be frightening as a weapon.

My favourite part is when Tobor drives a car.  I wonder if the guy in the costume could see anything. That must have been a hell of a day on set.

What you want me to get back to, though, is the bit where the robot is psychic.  Yes, that’s actually the premise of this movie, a telepathic robot!  I’m not sure how plausible that would have seemed in the 50’s, even in such an explicitly silly movie.  Dr. Nordstrom doesn’t expect the reporters to believe in it without a demonstration, and yet the same decade also produced films like The She-Creature that present such ideas with an entirely straight, albeit incompetent, face.  Psychic powers as hard-ish sci-fi seems to have gone out of style by the 90’s, and nowadays it sounds like something you’d see in the Weekly World News.

Man, I miss the hard copy Weekly World News.  It was so nice to have that little isle of humour in the sea of garbage that was (and still is) the supermarket tabloids.  Remember Hilary Clinton’s space-alien lover?  Classic.

The function of telepathy in this story is not just to give Gadge a way to summon the robot after the spies break Nordstrom’s control mechanism.  It is also a means whereby Tobor may acquire human traits and emotions.  How to make a robot feel things is a perennial problem in science fiction… a lot of the time the mechanism is simply glossed over, as an artificial intelligence becomes more human by interacting with humans. Emotions are just chemicals in our brains, though, and the more we learn about how they work, the harder it gets to justify a machine feeling them.  In Star Trek: the Next Generation Data and Lore have a special bit of hardware that must be installed to enable emotions, and really seem like they’re better off without it. In Saturn 3, Hector has a processor made of cloned brain cells that can produce their own chemistry, as well as a direct neural uplink to its programmer.

As such solutions go, I actually kind of like how Tobor the Great goes about it, even if the mechanism is silly.  Rather than having emotions of its own, Tobor senses and mirrors those of the humans around it.  When Gadge is panicking, worrying that Tobor is out of control, Tobor panics and goes around smashing things, thus making for a self-fulfilling prophecy. When Gadge thinks of Tobor as a hero, the robot comes to his rescue, carrying him to safety like a rescued princess, and responds to the anger and rage of the spies by turning these emotions back on them and beating them up.  This is quite different from many ‘emotional machine’ stories, in that it doesn’t actually require Tobor to be in any way self-aware.

Unfortunately the movie is not very consistent about this. There’s a scene in which Tobor gets frustrated and breaks stuff after being put through too challenging a simulation, which does imply that the robot has an intelligence and emotional capacity of its own.  This bit has a purpose, as it serves to make us worry that Tobor will be unable to tell the difference between friend and foe at the finale, but it just doesn’t fit with the way this machine is treated in the rest of the movie.

Like many others both from MST3K and from the Episodes that Never Were, Tobor the Great has a couple of good ideas at its core.  It even predicted how much easier and safer it is to send robots into space than people, although those robots don’t look much like the lumbering humanoids of 50’s sci-fi. Sadly, the film is uneven, rushed, and poorly-acted, and nothing particularly fun or exciting happens in it. Various people over the years have seen its potential and Tobor has starred in a couple of comic books and an unproduced TV pilot, but these never went anywhere either.

#mst3k #reviews #episodes that never were #tobor the great #50s #tobor is robot spelled backwards

[dbzebra]

☕️ OH YKNOW WHAT AT THAT NOTE? Talk about that dbs broly movie cuz yknow. That’s a hot topic of the ages that folk feel particularly really strongly about

ooooh ive been waiting for this one. We watched this together on discord so you know my general feelings but Im happy i got this ask lol.

putting this under read more cause it gets long 

The new movie that everyone seems to love and adore.... that I dont. It was a pretty middle of the ground, meh overrated af movie. Not bad, just nothing special. I enjoyed watching it sure, but not something I have an inkling to return to anytime soon if ever. It was just ‘there’ for me. 

First, I’ll say the good stuff. The visuals looked really pretty. Nobody was THAT out of character of the existing cast (save for the ending), which i feel weird to have to even mention it as a positive, but nothing really stood out to me as a defining moment for the little cast we had besides Goku’s “youre not a bad guy, i can tell” or w/e. SUPER SAIYAN 1 IS STILL GOAT. It looked soooo good in this movie i wish we couldve kept it the whole time instead of Blue. But i will say, Blue looked much better in this movie than the series. The darker-blue with the lighter blue eyes was a nice change from instead of the ugly bluish-green the series did. Also the aura looked better. Backgrounds like the ice area and even Planet Vegeta were amazing. Action was great too. little Bulla was cute. The OST i liked (the chanting really grew on me) and Blizzard is a banger i love that song. Oh and the aritisic license they took for the fusion scene with the reds and blues spiraling together was great

Anyway thats all the positives I have lmaoo

This film includes Minus and I already went in depth on why I hate Minus with a passion and why it’s the worst thing to come out of modern Dragon so yeah moving on. But the fact that they devoted screentime to Gokus backstory which ultimately served no purpose to the story of the film and couldve been used more valuably elsewhere. 

I said the action was good, and it was, but it almost too good. At times it was so fast to tell that was going on and really lessened the impact for me. Like when they went into the other dimension or whatever, Gogeta went blue and Broly went LSSJ (idc if the name is different name, itll always be legendary SSJ to me lmao) so ast it was a blink and you miss it moment. like what? those moments shouldve been given even a little bit of focus. 

Next the cast. Goku and Vegeta. AGAIN. snorefest. no Gohan, Piccolo is just there to show them the fusion, Goten and Trunks are still kids and look like babies (and Pilaf gang is with them which is another can of worms), no Android 17, who the series established as one of the top 4 fighters on Earth. 

Do we get any of that? Nope. Just the two Blue and Bluer fucking again and again I. dont. care. anymore. Their dynamic is so boring and played out id rather watch paint dry. It was fun in Buu Saga, hell it was even fun in GT, but DBS constantly forcing this dynamic and Vegeta as the second Main Character needs to fucking STOOOP. Toei and Toriyama has no idea how to further Vegeta’s character because theyre stuck in this infinite loop. 

Vegeta doesnt want to help Goku, he mentions Bulma and/or Trunks, Vegeta blushes, and then he decides to help. THAT HAPPENED LIKE SIX TIMES IN DBS ALONE. It happened in Buu saga as well, but it organically worked cause it was the first time but Bulma and Trunks were ALREADY DEAD/ABSORBED. The look on his face wasnt blushy or pouting for a gag, dude was legit shocked. I rag on Vegeta but he had some legit great moments in the early arcs and later parts of Buu Saga. Anyway im off track. They repeat that same exact character moment OVER AND OVER. cant tell you how many times we had “my Bulma, my bulla, my Trunks, my cabba” in the Tournament of Power alone, and this movie is no different.

DO SOMETHING ELSE FFS

Then we have Broly. ohhhhhh boooy Broly. if you can even call this version of him Broly. His backstory is kinda the same as original movie 8/Broly LSSJ, but its more tragic becuase according to most fans, if youre background is a sobstory, that equals better character. NO. sure it could, but that trope was so worn out so long ago I hate it. “waaa his life was bad, hes not a bad guy” bruh i dont care thats not Broly. just make an OC if you wanna do that. but nope. gotta use the marketing! (More on that later)

People like to criticize Z Broly as “he hates Goku cause he cried” or “all he says is Kakarot” which both are false. On the first point, Broly is a psychopath. He was stabbed as an infant and left to die along with Paragus cause he was too powerful. Then that same day Planet Vegeta explodes practically on top of them. The rest of his life hes basically either being controlled or on a rampage. So that one moment of peace is “ruined” by Goku in a sense cause he subconsciously associates that with Goku. On the second point, Broly was already mentally unstable and then nearly dying, getting caught in the explosion of a SECOND PLANET and then being frozen for seven years will fuck anyone up in the head. Z Broly in the original movie was sadistic af and he had a lot of memorable moments and lines that werent just screaming Kakarot, that Second Coming made him infamous for. 

New Broly is legit a man-baby. People talk about old Broly having no personality and this new version having a deep character, but I dont see it. He acts like a child when hes with Cheelai and Lemo and then once the fighting starts he doesnt say a single word but yell. SOUND FAMILIAR?? But he gets a pass because the canon police says so right??? fuck off. New Broly is boring. Im tired of trying to make the Saiyans into ThEyRe noT aLl BaD sEe The SaIyAns ArE AcTuAlLy GoOd!!!11111 ugh i hate it. keep Broly a psycho and keep Bardock a prick. even that guy that went with Buzz Lightyear I mean Paragus was a sweet guy who couldnt fight because of course he was. At least they kept Paragus being a prick when he killed him. Tho his death was lame. 

Cheelai’s overrated af. Shes just green bulma lmao. and the fact that they included the “big soft-spoken man gets mad and saves girl from drunk lowkey-rapey pervert” trope just had me roll my eyes like dude stop. Lemo was fine? Nothing against him but didnt do much for me either.

FUCK. FREEZA. i went over this one before too so ill be quick with this as well. I hate hate hate the fact that they brought him back not once but twice in DBS, but even worse that they left him alive to do whatever tf he wants including going back to mass murdering people and expanding his army again. Goku and Vegeta just LET HIM LIVE. Why tf did they go all out and attack Broly, but not Freeza? when one of them was fighting Broly th other easily could have taken out freeza but nope we need a token villain like Joker or Skeletor cause unoriginality. Even at the end, Gogeta does a full power blast to wipe Broly tf out, but when Freeza tries to kill Cheelai and Lemo (two innocent people, feelings on them aside) Gogeta basically just shakes his finger like nuh-uh! dont do that! and then he flies off. Just let this mfer die already im sick of seeing his ass. FUCK I HATE IT SO MUCH GFGFFGFGFGF

Lastly this movie is legitimately Dragon Ball Fanservice The Movie. 

Gogeta vs Broly, which the games have been doing since fucking 2003, is the main point of this film. Theres no originality whatsoever. Minus is discount Father of Goku special, and then its a mashup of Broly LSSJ and Fusion Reborn (both of which are superior movies imo). This creatively banrkupt shell of a franchise cant think of anything new, so they legit remake an old movie, through in fusions because that sells like hotcakes, and make the animation pretty because thats all that matters.

Imo, this movie, like 99% of Super, is all flash and flair but no substance at all. At least this movie looked nice. unlike the show. 

ok thats all i got lmao

#this got really long lol #longer than i intended #but thought of more stuff as i went #asks #cozymochi

[mininky]

Sweep me off my feet!

Summary: You had managed for almost your entire life to build up your walls and remain in the comfort of your own little world until one man stumbled into your life and changed everything. You never would have guessed that one of your clients would change your entire world, but the world works in mysterious ways. This is the story of how you fell in love with Kim Namjoon, the eclectic tattoo artist who frequented your book store.

Pairing: Kim Namjoon x Reader

Warnings/Genre: Fluff, smut. Contains explicit sex scenes including oral sex (female receiving) and safe sex. Non smut warnings for mentions of divorce/broken homes, cheating. Also a non smut warning for tooth rotting fluff and Jin being the sassy sidekick we all need.

Word Count: 14.6K

A/N: To the lovely anon who asked me ages ago for a story about Namjoon and the reader finding love after heartbreak here it is! I know this isn’t a college AU but I hope you’ll love it all the same.

There's something about the smell of books that's rather intoxicating. It's almost an aphrodisiac if you will. At least for you, it is. But perhaps that's because it invokes this sense of nostalgia and comfort to you, mixed with a dash of intrigue and mystery. New books are nice, but it's the old ones that really get you. The smell of worn pages, broken down oils and breaking glue. If you could bottle it in a perfume you would. Or hell, turn it into a candle. Perhaps that's why you enjoy coming in to work so much. The scent hits you every time you step inside just as vanilla wafts through a bakery in your old used bookstore.

   It was once owned by your Grandfather, and a few years ago he left the store to you after he passed away. The store in itself is a sacred place for you. It isn't just about the legacy left by him or the fact that you technically own it now and it's your only source of income. The store, that goes by the very uninspired name of 'Used Books and Restoration', is also home to some of your favorite memories. It's a place of salvation, a place that called your name openly even in your darkest of times.

   While some might assume that your main bread and butter for the business is the actual selling of books where you make almost all of your profit is off of restoration and collectible books. Restoration isn't an easy process by any means. It takes considerable effort and precise work, along with plenty of patience. But it's absolutely worth it to see those old books come back to life yet again. Luckily you've gained a reputation just as good as your Grandfather in the collectible book community. It also doesn't hurt that book repair is a rather niche market and therefore there's very limited competition in the area. It's gained you a core clientele, and while you appreciate all of your customers there's one, in particular, that you like best.

   Kim Namjoon. An eclectic collector with a voracious appetite for books of every and any genre. While you've never actually seen it you're sure that his home boasts an impressive private library considering the catalog that he's brought in for restoration as well as purchased from you. He moved into town a few years ago after starting the tattoo shop right by you and he's been a customer ever since. You've given up on trying to figure out his favorite genre. He reads everything. And you do mean everything. He even once purchased an Amish romance book from you along with Egghead by Bo Burnham, a book about the mythology of sex, a guide to soapmaking, a calligraphy book, and a book on education in the era of segregation. In the same purchase. It might go down as one of your oddest assortments you've ever rung up together. And not one of those was a gift.

   He's also brought in plenty of books for you to restore, never even blinking at the hefty price tag. While most of your restoration work is usually for much older books (usually collectibles) that require very delicate work, it's not unusual for him to bring in ordinary but very roughed up books that he's somehow accidentally destroyed. Broken spines. Pages falling out or ripped apart. At first, you thought that he was just careless with his books, but after having him in your store enough times you know that the honest truth is the man might possibly a god of destruction. Or at the very least he's been cursed with terrible luck. He once knocked over a small table and when trying to set everything up right he managed to knock down an entire bookcase. In the middle of helping you pick everything back up his glasses fell off and he then stepped on them. You were convinced that Ashton Kutcher was about to pop out and that the show Punked had risen from the ashes. But no, Namjoon is just genuinely that clumsy. It's equal parts adorable and terrifying.

   Today is luckily one of those days where you're blessed with an interaction sans destruction with Kim Namjoon. Like clockwork, he always pops in on Tuesdays and Fridays in the late afternoon, but for once he's slightly off schedule as he strolls in on a rainy Thursday morning. His normally sunny demeanor and friendly dimples are replaced with a pensive atmosphere, eyes trained on his phone as he tries to close his umbrella single-handedly before he begins wrestling with the contraption.

   "You're in early. Are you looking for something in particular today?" You pour yourself a cup of coffee when the machine beeps, stirring in some crappy powdered creamer as you glance in his direction.

   "Nah, I'm actually just trying to escape the rain. I left my keys back at home so Yoongi, the other owner, is going to lend me his keys once he gets here. I hope you don't mind me waiting it out in here." He gives a shy smile, pushing his glasses up his nose as he avoids eye contact.

   "Not at all, it's raining cats and dogs out there. Why are you going in so early though? I thought you guys didn't open up until noon?" You try not to wince too noticeably as you feel a taste bud singe off from the coffee.

   "...An...old friend of mine is coming down to get a tattoo touched up so I'm coming in early just for that." You don't miss the pause he takes, but you don't want to pry. Instead, you pull out another mug from under the counter and start pouring him a cup.

   "Well, in that case, I would highly recommend a nice warm cup of coffee before you begin for the day. Do you like cream or sugar?"

   "Both please, unless it's flavored creamer then I'll do just that." He seems to relax a bit, walking a bit closer to where you're making him a cup as he finally stops wringing his hands.

   "Nope, it's the cheap stuff. I'm too lazy to go all the way in the back for creamer every time I make a cup if I'm honest." You pour in a bit of creamer and sugar before handing it over to him. Upon closer inspection, he looks exhausted. Bags under his eyes, hair a little messier than usual, skin lacking it's usually glowing complexion. Before you can even begin to ask about it, however, another client comes in.

   "(Y/N)! I found an old leather-bound edition of Sherlock Holmes at a garage sale, but it's in terrible shape. I was wondering if you could work your magic-oh hey Namjoon!" You glance between the two customers. You're kind of surprised they know each other, but then again she does work just down the street at the publishing house.

   "Oh, hey. How have you been?" Namjoon smiles down at her, but it's rather hollow. All of his normal fun seems to have been sucked right out of him.

   "Oh you know, just trying to pack still. I know Yoongi had the bigger place so it made more sense, but man does being the only one to pack suck." She fumbled around in her bag for a second before pulling out the book she mentioned earlier and handing it over to you carefully. "I know, it's terrible. But I figured if anyone could fix it, you could. What do you think?"

   "Hmm...well it's not going to be easy. The spine is broken, multiple pages are coming out, I'm sure some are torn. But I'm sure that I can get it done. Give me about a week, I should have it ready by then. I'm guessing it'll be at least $250, it might be more. You good with that?" You try to look over the book as gingerly as possible. The poor thing has certainly seen better days.

   "Yeah, that sounds great! Oh, shoot! I'm going to be late. I'll see you guys later, thanks again (y/n)!" You wave to her as she peels back into the rain. The lack of her presence leaves the two of you in silence, save the occasional sounds of slurping coffee and the quiet jazz music you have playing in the background.

   "I've been meaning to ask you, but what's with the elevator music?"

   "It's a bookstore, all bookstores play coffee house music."

   He snorts at your response, and you try not to dwell on the automatic smile it brings to your lips. "Don't you ever get tired of it?"

   "Sure, when I do I'll put on classical. I like when it's just background music, it makes it easier to focus. Besides, that's how my Grandpa always had it. For the longest time, he refused to put in a sound system. Instead, he'd have his old record player here at the front. I still feel kind of bad about convincing him to replace that, but it's so much easier this way."

   "Your Grandpa owned this place?"

   "Oh yeah, for as long as I can remember."

   "And he left it to you, not to your parents?" Namjoon's head is tilted, eyes showing open curiosity before he sees the way you shut down. Your body grows rigid, eyes staring straight into your cup. "Sorry, I didn't mean to pry."

   "It's okay. Family isn't always easy, you know?" You glance up to see the solemn nod he gives before he pulls his phone out of his back pocket.

   "On that note, I've gotta run. Thank you for the cup of coffee, and for letting me chill in here for a bit." You give a quiet goodbye as he leaves the store. While you don't actually know him that well, you hope that whatever it is that's weighing him down is resolved quickly and easily for him. It's a little worrying to see someone who's usually so chipper being so glum.

--------------------------------------

   You hate that you've grown so concerned over a customer. This isn't exactly a job where you can count on people coming in like clockwork, but Namjoon was one of the few exceptions. And perhaps that's why after two weeks of not seeing him you've started to worry over him. It takes that two-week mark for you to finally muster up your courage and march into his tattoo shop. While you've of course walked by many times, you've never actually gone in. It smells like lavender essential oils and a citrus cleaner, the atmosphere is also far more relaxed than you anticipated. "Oh hey, you're the book store lady. I can't believe you actually managed to fix that Sherlock Holmes book." Your head whips around to the front counter to see a man you vaguely remember, Yoongi you think is his name. He must be the one dating your editor client.

   "Oh it wasn't that hard. I've seen far worse. Um..." You can feel your fingers instinctively curl up and pull your sweater lower until they cover your hands before you take a deep breath. "Is Namjoon here by any chance?"

   "Namjoon?" There's a twinkle in Yoongi's eyes as he leans into the counter. "Nope, sorry doll. It's his day off. Why? You interested in getting a piece done by him?"

   "Oh, uh no. Not that I don't like tattoos, I just don't have anything I'm currently interested enough in to commit to. It's just that...well he hasn't stopped by in the shop for a couple of days and I'm just a little concerned. Is he doing ok?"

   "He's going through a bit of a rough patch, but he'll make it through." You can tell that he's clearly analyzing you, the way his eyes narrow and his head tilts. It feels like a very silent interrogation is going on in his head right now, and you aren't a fan of it at all. "I'll tell you what though doll, I'll let him know you stopped by."

   "Oh, no need. I just figured I'd pop in since you guys are so close to my shop. Well...have a nice night."

   "You too, don't be a stranger! Pop in anytime!" You give a fleeting smile before turning around and try to not run straight out of the shop. You suppose that things could have gone worse. But now your curiosity is in overdrive. What rough patch exactly is he going through? Then again, it's none of your business.

---------------------

   You'd like to lie and say that after another month passes by Namjoon has vanished from your thoughts, but that's not true. You can't help but wonder from time to time, especially when you're putting away new inventory, what he's been up to. It's just unsettling having someone come in so often and then almost drop off the face of the earth. It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that you no longer get a chance to check out his very cute butt a few times a week. Nope.

   When Namjoon does finally wander back into the shop you're startled into complete non-action. What do you say? 'Hey, I hope you've been okay and I know that we don't actually know each other but I'm concerned?' Might come off as creepy, best to just leave it be. So after a moment of staring at him with wide eyes, you manage to croak out a horribly high pitched, "Hello!"

   You'd like to say that he walked in with this glowing aura as if the room lit up around him like some terrible rom-com. But honestly, he looks like he was hit repeatedly with bad news. His eyes are dark and puffy, his skin is a bit of a mess, his hair looks somehow both dry and greasy. The poor man just looks god awful. "Hey. Sorry I uh...haven't been in." He won't look at you, his eyes cast stubbornly on the floor as he shoves his hands in his pockets.

   "No worries. Anything in particular you're looking for today?" You would really like to ask him what the heck is going on to make the usually well put together Namjoon look so haggard, but you don't want to cross any boundaries.

       "Nah. Just...browsing..." His words trail off as he shuffles over to the nearest aisle, and you try not to stare as he starts thumbing through a few books. You also try not to dwell on the surge of warmth that spreads through you at seeing him again.

   You busy yourself with placing price tags on your new inventory as he continues his quiet search. You try to arm yourself with safe small talk you might be able to make before he finally comes back up to the counter with an arsenal of books under his arm that clatter down with soft thuds as they slip out right before he could safely place them. "Ah, sorry about that." He rearranges the books, eyes cast downwards as you shoot him a soft smile.

   "Don't worry about it. So...how have you been?" This time it's your turn to keep your eyes glued on the books instead of on him. God, you normally weren't this nervous but somehow seeing him again after so long is making you a smidge antsy.

   "Busy I guess. Sometimes I wish the world would just stop spinning for a moment so I can collect my thoughts, you know? It's like you think you have it together and bam suddenly you don't."

   "Yeah, I get that feeling. Adulthood is lame, why did we think it was a good idea as kids?" Namjoon snorts and this time you do look up. God he really does look haggard, the poor thing. "But you know what people don't say enough? It's okay to feel lost, it's okay to feel like things are moving while you're stuck. As long as you acknowledge it you can start moving forward. One step at a time. Don't think you have to move to the world's pace. Just move as you can and you'll do great."

   "I could have sworn this was a book store and now I'm starting to feel I should pay you like a therapy fee or something." This time he cracks a smile, his face lighting up as his dimples shine and his smile reaches all the way up to his eyes. It's a good look on him, and you wish that whatever it is that's got him down will be solved soon enough so he can get back to his normal smiles more often.

   "It's a free service for my regulars. But I suppose that means that you'll have to pop in regularly again if you don't want the charge."

   "Scouts honor, I promise I'll be back." He clears his throat after running his card, hands toying with his bag before he speaks again. "I...uh...Yoongi told me that you popped in. Sorry, for....um...being MIA. And I appreciate that you...uh...noticed I guess. God, fuck. I really can't talk today. What I'm trying to say is...I mean I know I'm just a customer or whatever but I really appreciate it. I'll...see you soon." Before you can respond he's rushing out the store, leaving you with rosy cheeks and lower lip stuck nervously between your teeth.

--------------

   Namjoon stays true to his word. While he isn't as frequent as he once was you've noticed that his visits are usually longer now. In all honesty, you suspect that at this point he visits more for the chats than the books. Or perhaps that's just what you're hoping for, because honestly whenever you do get a chance to speak with him it becomes the highlight of your week. He's witty, kind, and there's something about the way how he can go back and forth between being articulate and eloquent with his words to bumbling around that's utterly charming.

   Your conversations usually revolve around life itself. It never gets too personal, details are never mentioned. It's more about the intricacies of how things work, of how life moves. Sometimes you come close to asking him for more details, asking him more closely what's going on but something always holds you back. Perhaps it's because you're so deeply private, you understand what it feels like to want to hide your wounds from others and you certainly don't want to make him feel as though he's been forced into telling you anything. Besides, it's comfortable this way. It's natural for the two of you to fall into these deep conversations without worrying about prying into each other. It's as if the two of you have been friends for ages without having to delve into all the subtle meanings that might lay behind some of the world-weary cynicism in your conversations.

   Every once in a while you want more. If nothing than to help ease the burden that seems to be superglued onto his shoulders. There might also be some...more carnal...reasons behind that, but you'd rather not dwell on that. You're not even sure if he thinks of you as a friend yet, let alone as a possible romantic suitor. Jesus, maybe you should stop reading all those historical romance novels if you're saying things like "romantic suitor." Who are you kidding, they're too good to stop reading. But try as you might every time your brain thinks about going further or entertaining the notion of asking him out suddenly everything shuts down and all your senses get crossed until you're mute or stumbling over your words. But you're safe in this acquaintanceship, and crossing the line is scary and means for rejection. So for now, you'll remain in the comfort of safety.

------------------3 months later-----------

   "Did your boyfriend come and visit you again today?" Jin has a shit-eating grin on his face before he blows his straw wrapper at you. You're already regretting agreeing to being dragged out of your sanctum and into his competitor's restaurant for this. You love Jin, you do. He has luckily calmed down as he's gotten older, but let's just say that you've bailed him out of jail more than once in college from some crazy nights. He is a man of impulse, and usually spending time outside with him leads to you turning into full blast mom mode.

   "How many times must I tell you that he is not my boyfriend." You ball up the wrapper and throw it at his face before promptly resuming your perusal of the menu.

   "Please, whatever. You want to kiss his face, admit it, love. Wow. How are they my competitors? Do you see this shit? This is pretentious for the sake of being pretentious. I'm sure it'll taste like shit."

   "It better not for the price. My god, $35 for lobster ravioli? I saw it come out earlier, they only had five on a plate! You can't even justify that by saying 'portion control.'" You're praying that by fueling his need to shit talk the restaurant will keep him off track of your desolate love life. Unfortunately, as you're speaking the waiter comes over. Well isn't that just your luck.

   "I can assure you ma'am while it might seem expensive for the size we only use the freshest ingredients. All of them are locally sourced."

   "And which vendors exactly do you go through?" Jin squints at the server with a fire in his eyes that the server clearly wasn't prepared for. Oh, this poor, poor soul. He has no clue just how deep of shit he's landed himself in and you can tell he's floundering for a moment as his eyes go wide and shoulders grow rigid.

   "You know sir, I don't know all of the vendors' names off the top of my head. But I'd be more than happy to ask the chef for you if you'd like?"

   "That would be wonderful. Thank you, what a peach you are in such an...interesting...place." Jin gives a wide smile, one that channels his inner Cheshire cat plotting nefarious outcomes as you sink further into your seat. You love Jin, he is your best friend after all, but you know that look all too well. Competitive is putting it lightly. Sinister is a slightly more apt description and you want nothing more than to dive under the table before he begins to wage war. You had, for whatever naive reason, believed that he would have remained in perfect behavior so as not to blow his cover. Clearly, he had no cover and most likely wanted the head chef to know he was here. Goodbye, peaceful night.

   You watch the server turn on his heels and quickly stride back towards the kitchen. "Now things are getting interesting."

   "Jin no."

   "Jin, yes."

   "Jin..." You try pleading, eyes turned up into maximum puppy capacity but he's long since been impervious to your charms and instead, he just winks at you. You fight the groan bubbling up in your chest as your shoulders sag in defeat.

   "I promise love, this'll be quick and painless. I wouldn't drag you in here without a master plan and so far it's going just swimmingly. Although I would just adore it if the boy making eyes at you from the bar would come over because he is one tall slab of fine and it's a damn shame that he isn't looking at this world-wide handsome face over here because oh honey the things that I would do to him." Your face involuntarily jerks in the direction of the bar only to see Namjoon perched on a stool with a glass of wine looking right back at you. You can feel heat rising up on your cheeks when Jin picks up your hand and forces you to give a wave. And much to your surprise, you see him smile. A genuine smile. The kind that flashes his pearly whites and dimples and has your heart melting and brain overheating.  

   You aren't sure if it's to your relief or disappointment that the server comes back at this time, now with the head chef in tow. "Good evening, I heard you have some questions for-Seokjin." The chef's eyes narrow on Jin's, a crackle of indignant energy fills the area.

   "Why hello Kihyun. According to your lovely server, everything here is locally sourced."

   "You already know that. We use the same vendors."

       "Why yes, yes we do. And yet you still charge your poor customers an arm and a leg for subpar slop."

   "Please Seokjin, it's just not agreeable to hear someone talk down about their own food that way." Jin cackles loudly at this, the sound of windshield wipers roaming in the distance as you glance back to see Namjoon watching the battle with open curiosity.

   "Oh please little man, my food is good and you know it. I just came here to check how the competition is doing seeing as you did the same just last week." You watch the chef sigh wearily as he rubs at his temples while Jin rails on. "What, did you think I wouldn't know? I think it's only fair to return the favor."

   "Fine, I'll make you a deal so long as you keep quiet."

   "Mum's the word, tiny chef."

   "And stop making short jokes." His eyes narrow on Jin as he carelessly throws up his hands as if to admit defeat. "I'll be bringing out our specials momentarily. Only our best for our 'esteemed' guest." You can almost feel the animosity rolling off him in waves as he finger quotes 'esteemed' before stomping off.

   "Well, now that worked out just swimmingly. While we wait for our food how about you go mingle with mister tall dark and handsome?"

   "That's Namjoon, my customer." You dodge a shot of water from Jin's mouth before scrambling when he gets ready to stand up. "No Jin, no no no no no. I beg you, please for the love of all that is holy don't. I can see you scheming and I've been through enough shenanigans thanks to you tonight."

   Ever so slowly he sits back down, but not without giving you a face that lays somewhere between a scowl and a pout. "Fine, ms. party pooper, I won't go. Under one condition and one condition alone. You are in serious need of taking out that stick that's been shoved up your ass for the last 20 something years. So I will only agree to be the polite good boy you so desperately wish I was in public if you go over there and ask him out."

   "What? I can't do that! He's my customer, that...that crosses the line. And besides, he most certainly doesn't see me that way. I don't think he even sees me as a friend. An acquaintance at best. And another thing! I most certainly do not have a stick shoved up my ass, you just put caution to the wind far too often for your own good!" You're trying your best to calm your frenzied nerves by taking in slow steady gulps of air.

   "Do people look at mere acquaintances like they're a slab of steak after not eating for a day? And yes, yes you do have a stick shoved up your ass! I love you kid, but you are pedantically logical to a fault. You overthink, over analyze, and you rarely try to force yourself outside of your comfort zone even if it means sacrificing possible happiness all for the sake of not possibly facing rejection. As your best friend of over a decade, I refuse to continue sitting idly while you continue to ruin possible chances of intrigue. Besides, sitting with you at this rate is going to give me indigestion." Jin takes a swig of his water before narrowing his eyes on you as if to say 'try me bitch, I dare you.' He's right. You really wish he wasn't, but damnit he does actually have a point. Not that you'll ever admit that.

   Fuck, you really wish that you could knock back a stiff drink before this. Okay, just calm down. What's the worst that could happen? You could be rejected, laughed at, and have your heart ripped from your chest and stomped on. But according to Jin, that's not that bad. Not that he's giving you much choice. So here goes nothing. You take a deep breath and march over before Jin can pick you up and hurl you into the direction of the bar.

   "Hi, mind if I join you for a drink?" Act normal, act cool. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. You've got this.

       "Oh, not at all. Please." Namjoon gives you another smile, and you take a moment to glance at his profile. He looks better today. Gradually he's been getting his old color back. You can hardly make out the bags under his eyes in the dim mood lighting of the restaurant. "What do you drink?"

   "Hm, oh well..." Your eyes dance over the spirits lining the back. Jesus, they don't even have jack. They have plenty of brandy though. "I guess I'll have whatever you're having. Mix things up a bit, you know?"

   He perks a brow up at you before waving over the bartender who's clearly been waiting patiently on the side. "I'll get two more." It's only a moment before a short glass of brandy is placed in front of you. You eye it for a moment before knocking it back, ignoring the burn that tears through your throat.

   "Jesus, rough day?" Namjoon's brow is quirked as he motions at the now empty glass.

   "More like a rough night."

   "Boyfriend problems?" Namjoon jerks his head back to Jin and you can't help but let out a loud laugh. The kind that sounds more like a cackle, a deep snort from the back of the throat and all.

   "Jin? No, god no. He's a friend. Also, he plays for the other team."

   "Oh, oooh!" He seems to relax at this revelation, sinking into his seat a bit more before sipping at his drink. "Well I'm sorry that you've had a rough night, maybe the liquor will make it better."

   "How about you Joon? Things going okay for you lately?" You try not to stare openly, instead gauging his reactions with a side-eye. He gives a simple shrug, running his hands through his hair before knocking back the rest of the drink.

   "Who knows. But I'm taking it one day at a time as a wise birdy once suggested."

   There's a lull in the conversation for a moment as you try to mull over what to say next, head swimming through all your possible small talk cards but none seeming right for the situation. "So-"

   "Um!" The two of you stop, Namjoon giving a small chuckle. "Sorry, go ahead."

   "Oh! Uh...I was just going to ask if you wanted to talk about...you know...whatever has been going on. It might help to open up."

   Namjoon pauses, shifting a bit in his seat as he slowly nods. "Ex drama? I guess? That makes it sound so high school." He gives a deep sigh, his hands gripping around his empty glass before slowly continuing. "I was engaged last year. We'd been together a long time, we'd even lived together for a couple of years. But after we moved out here or I don't know maybe even before that she decided that she needed to get a feel for other things. And by other things I mean other dicks. I learned that lovely fact when I walked in on her and some random dude who turned out to be her longtime side-piece or whatever. She came back into the shop a few months ago begging me to start over with her. And I don't know why but I thought maybe this time we could make it work, maybe this time things would be right. Her old habits didn't die though. So we ended things about a month back officially, this time for good."

   After a decent pause you finally pipe up, your earlier hesitance now masked with the alcohol that's slowly working through your brain. "She's an idiot. And a bitch. I say fuck her! Wait no, not like 'go fuck her' but as in I wish to acquaint her ass with a rusty sword." The full belly laughter he gives is worth your blunder with words. He lights up, and the sound has blood rushing to your cheeks.

   He wipes away a stray tear as he swivels around to face you. "Thanks, I appreciate that. And please, remind me to stay away from rusty swords if I ever accidentally piss you off. I've gotten a lot of advice from people recently, a lot of 'it'll get better' or 'she was wrong' but I think my favorite is the depiction of a rusty sword so thank you for the laugh."

   "No problemo, I'm here to help even if that means with impromptu comedic relief." Again silence returns, but this time it's comfortable. It almost always is around him, as if Namjoon brings peace and comfort to you every time you see him. It's safe around him. Safe to be you, safe to just relax. You aren't used to that, most men make you feel on edge. As if you have to be two steps ahead. Perhaps it's due to your mutual problems with the opposite gender. Or maybe it's just his personality.

   "Hey..." His quiet voice pulls you out of his thoughts and you jerk up to see his eyes cast stubbornly on the floor. "Feel free to say no or something but um, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to get out of here with me? Maybe just walk around the city for a bit or something?"

   "There's a park a couple of blocks down from here actually, it's usually pretty quiet and there's even a little koi pond. Oh! But we'll need to pop into the grocery store to pick up lettuce first."

   "Can...can koi fish eat lettuce?"

   "Oh yeah! They love greens! I used to feed them bread but I found out it's hard for them to digest. They also really like garlic and shrimp."

   "I...I don't know what to do with this information."

   "Use it for the powers of good, and to keep Koi fish happy. So what do you say? Wanna go feed some Koi fish lettuce?"

   "Yeah! Yeah, oh but shouldn't you tell your friend?"

   You glance back at Jin to see him in the middle of what appears to be an amicable discussion (at least from the outside) with the head chef. You choose to send off a quick text while Namjoon slaps down a few bills, "done. Let's go!"

-------------

   It's not long before the two of you are tossing off bits of lettuce to hungry Koi fish. It was most likely an odd site for others to take in. The two of you were silently standing in front of the pond, taking turns tearing off strips from a head of lettuce and sipping from a dangerously cheap bottle of sangria. It didn't help that this area of the park had dim, ominously flickering lighting making the whole thing look stranger. Yet neither of you seemed to mind.

   It was oddly relaxing being here. The silence wasn't uncomfortable, it was actually heart warming. There's always been something about Namjoon's presence that's left you feeling fuzzy and floating. As if cocooned in safety under a pillow fort with plenty of blankets while a blizzard rages outside. Your eyes are trained on the Koi fish that jump up, gulping up the pieces of lettuce greedily and illuminated in the fluorescent yellow lighting cutting in and out every few seconds.

   "These guys really know how to eat." You glance up at the sound to see Namjoon smiling as he throws in another strip of the leafy greens. "I should have guessed that of all people you would be the one to take me to the middle of nowhere in a city just to feed fish at nearly midnight."

   "I'll take that as a compliment."

   "It is indeed. Do you know why I love going to your bookstore so much? I never know what I'm going to find. You always have an odd assortment of treasures but you also seem to know all of them. I've been inside plenty of bookstores and while they all have their own special ambiance that books tend to carry your's is otherworldly. It's like I step through a portal when I come into your shop. Like all is well with the world. But I'm starting to think it's not about the place. It's you." He glances over to give you a shy smile before quickly returning his sights on the pond.

   "Oh, I don't know I think it's probably the store. Maybe it's just rubbed off on me. When I was a kid I would try to spend all my time there with my grandpa. It was a safe haven, this little chunk of the world where I knew I could always get lost and find freedom even if the world was falling apart outside."

   "That sounds really deep for a kid. I guess it's my turn to ask, do you want to talk about it?"

   You take a moment to pause, sipping on the acidic sangria before nodding slowly. You suppose it's only fair to share just as he did. "My parents should have gotten a divorce way sooner than they did. The vast majority of my childhood is a blur of trying to run away from their fights. It never got physical, but the verbal abuse the two of them flung at each other was astronomical. I can remember distinctly thinking once as I read a book that had these lovely happy parents that that was the most fictional part of the whole thing. Harry Potter was more likely to be realistic than that bullshit. I think when I was thirteen and I got asked out for the first time I told the poor boy that love was a scam and I wasn't about to fall for it. I've tried dating a few times but I always think back on my parents and before things can ever progress I try to leave. I guess you could say I have commitment issues to everything in life but work. Jin, the guy at the restaurant, he's always trying to get me to loosen up. Have fun. But I just feel like it's all pointless. Why bother when it's all going to fall apart anyway?"        

   You let out a heavy, world-weary sigh out before chucking the last bit of lettuce into the pond. Namjoon gives you a moment of silence, either to be polite or to gather his thoughts. Or perhaps you've scared him off. You're not really sure of the reasoning behind his muteness but you're too lost in your own thoughts to dwell on it.

   Finally, Namjoon takes a deep breath and says, "I'm sorry that you went through that. I know it might sound absurd coming from me, but what's so bad about believing in romance? In the fairy tale ever after? In believing that sometimes things can go right? Maybe I'm a buffoon for still being a hopeless romantic after everything I've been through but I think the saddest part in all of that was that you gave up before you even tried. There's a lot to explore in life beyond your comfort zones. It might not always be good, but I think that's the beauty of it. Sometimes the bad makes us appreciate the good all that much more."

   You're torn between wanting to stare in awe at him for managing to actually feel this way after everything he's been through and wanting to smack him upside his face and tell him to wake up. But that's the cynic in you speaking. The cynic that awoke in you far too early in life has still after all these years refused to die. If reincarnation is real then perhaps you were fucked over in love previously as well and that's why your feelings are so intense. It's probably just your shitty childhood that you try to avoid remembering at all costs. After a moment of tense silence, you finally speak up. "How...how can you still feel that way?"

   "Because the world is a sad lonely place and I want to believe that there's something better out there. I don't mean like soulmates bullshit or anything, just that you shouldn't give up when you find a really good person. Love takes two to tango, and for whatever reason, your parents lost sight of that. But the real fucked up thing is that you still carry that with you as an adult as if it's your burden to carry. But it's not. Imagine if I said that it's my fault I was cheated on, how would you feel?"

   "But it wasn't your fault. She was a blind idiot who made terrible life choices."

   "Exactly, and it's not your fault that your parents were bumbling idiots who didn't understand how to effectively communicate with one another." He takes a swig of the sangria before hooking one of his arms over your shoulder and you take a moment to admire the inky artwork under the night sky as he lowers his voice. "So you know what I say? It's time both of us stop ruminating in pain. I say we let it all go, right now."

   "And how, pray tell, do we go about this?"

   "I say we just scream everything out into the night. Just let it all go."

   "I'm sorry what?" You squint up at him, your brain freezing as you try to make sense of his therapy method.

   "You know, everything we've bottled up just fucking let it out. Let it go. Here, I'll go first." He takes another swig of the sangria before tilting his face up at the moon. "Fuck you, Jessica! Fuck you and your fucking boy toy. I was good enough! I tried so hard to make it work and you still couldn't be bothered to put in any effort! It wasn't fair! And another thing, fuck your stupid fucking mom for always shitting on my tattoos and thinking her bitchy daughter was perfect!" You're quick to plug your ears as he shouts at full volume, eyes scanning the park praying that no one is nearby to call the cops on the two of you. After a theatrical sigh, he turns around, plants both hands on your shoulders as he leans down and says, "Okay kid, it's your turn."

   There's frenetic energy hanging in the air and while you want to laugh and tell him this is ridiculous there's something that stops you from holding back for once. So you follow suit and tilt your head up as you begin to scream, "Fuck you dad for placing unrealistic expectations on how women should behave! Fuck you mom for thinking the only thing men were worth was money! Fuck both of you for caring more about fighting than nurturing your only fucking kid! Fuck you for leaving me to fend for myself all the time! I just wanted love from you! I want to fall in love, I want to believe that you two were wrong! I want someone to look at me like I look at the last slice of cheese pizza! I want someone to care about me the way I deserve to be cared for!" By the time you get halfway through your monologue, you can feel a weight shifting off your shoulders. Rather literally as Namjoon plugs his ears, but also emotionally. Spiritually. It's as if something is born in you. As if under all that hate you've held onto for so long there's still that glimmer of hope.

   When you've finally stopped screaming, your lungs are on fire and hot tears are trickling down your cheeks. Slowly you begin to hear the sound of Namjoon golf clapping in front of you. "Bravo young grasshopper, bravo. You finally said how you really felt. So tell me, how do you feel now?"

   "I...feel different. Lighter. How...how about you Namjoon?"

   "Pretty fantastic, but that might be the shitty sangria talking." He gives a wide grin at the giggles that bubble out of you before handing over the sangria.

   The rest of the night flies by in a tipsy blur, the two of you talking about life and your own choices and how you've come to your own points in life. Normally you'd have run away by now, but you realized something tonight by screaming out into the void with him. You've always run away, you've refused to face life head-on. It's still a scary thought, but the alcohol numbs it easily and then there's the fact that nothing seems as intimidating when Namjoon's nearby.

---------4 months later-------

   It's almost impossible for you to now think of a time when Namjoon was simply a customer and not a good friend. The two of you, much to Jin's delight, are rather inseparable. You have lunch together most days of the week. Sometimes the two of you will hang out and watch movies together, or go back to the park to feed the always hungry koi fish. On a few occasions, Namjoon has even tagged along with you to go bug Jin to feed the two of you. This time though you find yourself without your new partner in crime as you stuff your face with homemade pasta by Jin.

   "Please try to breathe in between bites. I don't know CPR." Jin pokes one of your cheeks as you try to quickly chew.

   "Sorry I was just really hungry. Also, I have something I wanted to tell you!"

   "You finally professed your undying love for Joony boy?"

   He quickly dodges the napkin you throw at him before blowing you a raspberry. "No, I told you we aren't like that. But it is about Joon! His parents have a beach house that he wants to go to so he invited us to come over next weekend."

   "Oh drat, unfortunately, I have plans."

   "That is such bullshit. You were literally just bitching about how you don't have anything to do next weekend because that new boy toy, Jimin or whatever, is going on a trip for work."

   "I decided just now that I'm going to go visit Jimin to see his performance. You know, be supportive." He sighs at the glare you send him. "Okay, so I didn't decide that. I'd rather stick my head in my far too expensive convection oven than drive five hours just to get blue balls from watching him dance. But I also refuse to step in the way of what I really hope is time for you to finally get laid."

   "I told you Jin, he's just a friend."

   This time it's Jin's turn to scoff. "Oh, sure princess. Whatever you say. The two of you basically eye fuck each other every time you come over to steal my food."

   "WE DO NOT."

   "Do fucking too! What I just don't understand is why you can't admit it. He's a great catch, why are you holding back? You even told me yourself that it was time for you to start moving on with life. You know, get past all of your cynical doom and gloom mentality that everything will inevitably fall apart. So the real question is, why are you holding back from happiness still? Even after all that 'ra ra I'm going to get my shit together' you've been spouting for months now?"

   Your anger dissipates quickly, all air leaving your lungs for a moment as you stare at the floor unable to look at Jin's oddly serious gaze. The silence drags on until finally you quietly speak up. "Namjoon just got out of a really serious relationship. Jessica really hurt him you know, it wasn't one of those 'oh we just grew apart' type of situations. And even though he was so broken the first time he tried again and I think that time might have been worse. The first time it seems like he was just angry, the second time was when he felt anguish. I...I don't just like Namjoon. I love him. Every time I'm around him I feel so happy like the world lights up and all the color comes back. It's so easy being around him, I know I can just be myself and I'm safe. But I don't want to throw these feelings at him when he's probably still healing. I don't want to be a rebound. I watched my parents get divorced with each other and jump into relationship after relationship with other people just to fill that void. I want to be more than that. I want this to be something that works for a long time. I'm tired of running from commitment so I've decided I'll wait. I'll wait until he makes a move first."

   "Did you never stop to ask yourself if maybe he's waiting for the same thing? I mean honey, it's painfully obvious he feels the same way. He knows that you've never really tried to be in a relationship, he might be waiting for you too. So then what? The two of you just go in circles until someone grows tired of it and leaves? I think it's noble of you to be patient and wait, but I also think that's an easy way out for you. Making the first move is scary, and I think that by saying you're waiting for him to be all healed up you're actually just pushing off the notion of rejection. If you don't say anything then you'll be safe. If you say something you might hear something you don't want to hear. So while I do believe you actually feel that you want to make sure this isn't a rebound, I think that a much larger portion of this is still you just running away."

   Jin sighs softly at the crestfallen look that takes over your place, gingerly wrapping you up in his arms before he continues. "Of all the people I've known in life I can't say any of them have been as brilliant, strong, sweet, and funny as you. You're the type of person that when you love you love with all your heart. I just want to see you be happy, I want you to realize that you are worth all the loves and hugs and kisses that you've told yourself are empty and meaningless. It's okay to go slow if you need to, but as your best friend, I'm rooting for you. And as a person who has seen the way that Joony looks at you I feel it's safe to say that you should try moving forward. But I don't want to push you if you're too nervous you know? Just one step at a time kiddo."

   Words fail you, as much as you'd like to argue or try to tell him he's wrong he isn't. Jin has always been quick to catch on to these things, and you had a sinking suspicion that he would say something about it all soon enough anyway. You nestle your face further into the crook of his neck and inhale the comforting scent of his fabric softener. After taking a moment to have your two brain cells muster up something to say you simply shuffle away and give him a quiet thank you. The warm smile you receive back in turn is all that either of you need.

-------The next weekend------

   You've been through a rollercoaster of emotions in the last week, although the anxiety you've felt has always loomed somewhere on the ride. Sometimes in the front seat, sometimes somewhere in the back just waiting for the drop to happen. Now that the day is finally here the nerves are present more than ever. Somehow everyone else who was invited fell through and it's now just the two of you. The rational, logical side of your brain says that this was extremely last minute and therefore difficult for others to rearrange their schedules to come with. Your gut argued that all the others had decided to give the two of you space. Perhaps to encourage the feelings you've been secretly fostering, and not very well according to Jin.

   Namjoon had made the trip out to the beach house before you, thank goodness. The two-hour drive had given you ample time to try to rationalize everything and see all the various possibilities this weekend held in store in the sanctum of privacy. Of course, you've also been doing this all week prior, but on the drive, it went into overtime. The most likely options you foresee from this weekend are:

   A. You get up the courage to ask him out and he turns you down flat.

   B. You get up the courage to ask him out and he says yes. The two of you ride off into the sunset on the beach where a dolphin will flip over a rainbow and all is well in the world.

   C. You fumble awkwardly through the weekend and end up saying nothing.

   Strangely enough, while you see option C as being the most plausible, you also want that one to happen the least. At least with rejection, you can move on, in that sense Jin is right. But if you end up missing your chance to shoot your shot you don't know how the game could have ended. By the time you pull into the driveway of the house you've made up your mind. On Monday, right before the two of you leave, you'll say something. You aren't sure how yet, but for once you're just going to put caution to the wind and try not to overthink it. At least that's what you were trying to convey to your measly remaining brain cells.

   You take a deep breath and grab your backpack in the seat next to you. It's now or never. Showtime baby. You can do this. You can do this. You can-before you even get a chance to ring the doorbell Namjoon is ripping open the door. His hair looks freshly dried and fluffy. His eyes seem to light up and his pearly whites flash at you as he gives you an excited smile. Fuck. You don't think you'll make it through this weekend sane, not if it's just going to be the two of you. "Hey! Come on in! Make yourself at home!" He reaches down to grab your backpack before his warm hand slips into yours and he's dragging you into the refreshing AC. "Your room is just right over here. The bathroom is next door. I just ordered us some pizza it should be here any minute. I got just cheese for you, I wasn't sure what toppings you like."

   His words fly out a mile a minute but your brain trudges through everything slowly, your thoughts are instead focusing on the way his hand feels on yours. They're slightly calloused, much larger than you realized, and painfully perfect. My god, is there anything about this man you don't like? At the realization that you've already entered your room and Namjoon's head is tilted as if waiting for some sort of response you finally manage to spit out, "that's great. Cheese pizza is super great." Get it together brain cells! "Um, this place looks amazing."

   "You haven't even seen the best parts yet. It's a shame that none of the other guys could make it, but I'm glad you could come. Going to the beach by yourself just screams midlife crisis and honestly, I don't think I'm ready to be there just yet. I want to get a few more years under my belt before facing an age inspired existential crisis, you know? Uh, so anyway..." His eyes roam around the room before he shoots you another smile, "Do you...do you want me to show you around a bit first or would you rather unpack?"

   "Um, I think I'll unpack and then you can show me everything."

   "Cool, sounds great. I uh, I'll just go then. But if you need anything just holler!" In a blink of an eye, he's out the door. Leaving you alone with just your sluggish thoughts and backpack.

   You weren't really sure why you had told him you needed to unpack. It's not like you were going to be here for more than a few days, so there wasn't much need. And yet here you are, taking your sweet ass time unpacking toiletries and all of the extra underwear you brought with because uteruses can't be trusted. You stare down at the bathroom counter after unpacking the last bits of makeup and skincare products before leaving the room.

   You follow the wafting scent of pizza, it looks like somehow you had missed the sound of its arrival. In the fit of nerves earlier in the morning you had opted to not eat, and if the whale mating calls your stomach is making that decision is clearly catching up with you. You find the two pizza boxes right next to Namjoon out on the porch and you waste no time grabbing the largest slice before flopping down next to him.

   "It's beautiful out here today. Thanks again for joining me."

   "Are you kidding me? I'm getting basically a free vacation to chill at the beach. And I get to spend it with the second biggest book nerd I know. How could I possibly turn down the offer? Thank you for inviting me. I appreciate Joony." You don't miss the way the tips of his ears burn a bright red as he stuffs his face with another slice of pizza. You also don't miss that its fucking pineapple. "Are you really eating what I think you're eating? Please say that this is a mirage."

   "What? Pineapple tastes great, especially on pizza."

   "My god. I've heard of monsters like you, but I had never believed the myths. I thought...I thought the world just made up your kind to scare children into eating even the crappiest slices of cafeteria pizza at lunch."

   "You take that back! Don't you dare call this tastebud explosion of love monstrous! You know what, I bet that you're the type of person who eats mint chocolate chip ice cream. Those are the real monsters."

   "HOW DARE YOU! Mint chocolate chip is delicious!" How can someone so handsome, so witty, so great all around have the worst fucking taste in food?

   "It tastes like someone fucking smothered good chocolate icecream in toothpaste. And yet you dare desecrate the majesty that is pineapple pizza? Salty, sweet, perfection?" Before you can even respond he's forcing a bite of the vile concoction into your mouth. You have no choice but to chew. Forgive me, father, for I have sinned. "See it's not that-oh my god are you going to throw up?" The heaving noises you make has him quickly rushing next to you, abandoning his evil ways for but a moment as he pats your back soothingly before bursting into a fit of giggles when you finally breathe again.

   "'S not funny Joon! Don't you laugh at me!"

   "I'm sorry, I swear I'm not laughing at you. It's just...that was such an over the top reaction." He wipes away a stray tear before smooshing your cheeks when you pout at him. "Okay, I promise that I'll never make you eat it again. But you know what I also think? I think we should set our opinions aside and agree that the true evil food is anchovies on pizza."

   You glare at him, words coming out wobbly with your lips smushed between his hands. "Thisth isth unfortunately true. Fine, I promisthe I won't bring up your poor tashte in food again under the agreeancthe that anchoviesth on pizza isth the fucking worsht." He stays there for a moment longer before finally dropping his hands from your face.

   "Alright well now that's been resolved, what do you say we do after eating? Movie? Beach? Plotting how to take down anchovy pizza lovers?"

   "Well, we did come all the way out here. It would be rather ridiculous to not spend time by the beach. Besides, that water looks awfully inviting. Say, what do your parents even do to afford digs like this?"

   "Ah, my father is a doctor and my mother is a lawyer."

    "Cripes, how did they feel about you pursuing a creative job like tattooing?"

   He gives a noncommittal shrug at this. "Not much, they just wanted me to be happy. At first, they thought I should stay in school, but considering I went in for philosophy they quickly decided that this was at least a fruitful endeavor. Besides, I make more than they did at my age and I didn't have to bury myself in debt to do it."

   "I can totally see you as a philosophy major. I can't believe I didn't see that sooner. It's cool that your parents didn't shit all over your work though. They sound like good people."

   He lights up at this, his eyes twinkling as he regales you with childhood stories and about how he got into the business to begin with. By the time the two of you are full, you feel as if you've learned all about Namjoon's family. His parents were college sweethearts, he's a complete mama's boy, and he has a younger sister he adores who's currently studying abroad as a journalism major. The sun is already beginning to go down, the tide rising up before the two of you trudge back inside to change.

   Once you've changed and headed back outside the sky is brilliant shades of creamy oranges and neon pinks that contrast beautifully with the brilliant blue of the ocean. You don't even want to think about how much his parents paid for this view. You also can't even fathom how someone can make enough to afford this as just a summer home. You throw down your towel before quickly stepping into the ocean, relishing the feeling of the chilly water in the sweltering heat before turning around at the sound of Namjoon calling out your name. Good lord, this weekend might be the end of you. You had somehow forgotten that beaches meant shirtless Namjoon. You've seen his sleeves, of course, the left one an intricate Japanese style piece with his right arm covered in various neo-traditional pieces. But what's grabbing your attention now is three things. One: he has very impressive pecs, something you didn't see coming. You had assumed for whatever reason that he didn't have the time to work out. Apparently, you were wrong. Two: He has multiple script pieces tattooed on the sides of his torso. Three: He has a happy trail and your eyes are refusing to budge and you're now openly ogling.

   "Say cheese!" Before you can blink he's snapping a picture with a Polaroid. Not one of the newer ones that have come out, no this looks like it was imported straight out of the '70s. He jogs closer to you before wrapping his arm gently around your waist, pulling you in as he angles the camera and snaps another one. You can feel your cheeks heat up at the proximity, your skin tingling under his gentle touch even after he pulls away to run back to the patio and set the old camera safely away from the sand and water. Fuck what are you going to do? Are you really going to be able to make it through this whole weekend without pouncing on him? Is it just you that feels like there's a slight buzz of sexual tension, has it been so long since you've last gotten laid that now you're imagining things?

   Your thoughts are spinning around when he returns to your side, your hearing only picking up on the tail end of what he was saying, "-it's going to look great in my scrapbook!"

   "What?"

   "The pictures. I was saying the pictures came out awesome with the sunset in the background. Are you okay?"

   "Yeah, just kind of spacey. Carb coma I think. You have a scrapbook?"

   "Yup! Ever since my dad gave me his old Polaroid when I was in high school I've kept scrapbooks." This just isn't fair. No grown man should be this cute. If you just take out his terrible taste in food and ability to destroy things just by breathing in its direction he really is perfect. Man, you are so fucked. He really isn't making it easy for you to give up.

   "I'd like to see them sometime. The scrapbooks, that is." He lights up at this, nodding animatedly as he wades further into the water.

   "Yeah! I mean, they aren't the best done but I like being able to look back on all the fun memories sometimes you know?" This is a good sign right, he's already seeing this as a fun memory. That means he thinks of you positively. Right? This means that your odds may be higher in favor than you anticipated. Maybe.

   For the next few minutes, the two of you simply bask in the beauty of the sunset. Jitters seem to fade, your ever-present anxiety even catching the hint and letting you just enjoy the night for a moment. "It's beautiful out here. Thank you again for inviting me, Joon."

   "Anytime. I used to come out here all the time. You would think that when I moved closer I would spend more time over here, it's not like I had to drive six hours. But work and life got in the way. And then at a certain point, it just seemed meaningless if I'm just going alone. Of all the people I invited I really just wanted you to come. I felt like you would appreciate the ordinary beauty of it, the simplicity of just wading in the ocean as the moon starts to come out and the stars light up the sky."

   "And how exactly did you decide that I, of all people, would appreciate the scenery? You aren't wrong, but now I'm curious." You sink deeper into the water until the waves crash around your waste and you can finally feel relief from the sweltering heat lingering even into the evening.

   "Because that's just who you are. You see the extraordinary in the ordinary. It's just the way you operate, I knew that about you the first time you ever fixed up my childhood worn and torn Harry Potter books. Even though they weren't these amazing collector pieces you treated them with such care and brought them back to a state better than brand new. From that moment on I knew that you were the type of person who could appreciate the subtle complexities that make life all that much better. And the more I've gotten to know you the further you've deepened this conviction. I mean who else would take me out to feed koi fish lettuce in a city in the middle of the night? Who else would drive me over an hour to the outskirts just for the best matcha latte they've ever had only to spend more than an hour discussing the process of making it with the owner? Or take me to an art gallery just to tell me about how the janitor deserves more recognition for his street murals? I mean sure, you might have terrible tastebuds and be unable to see the glory in pineapple on pizza, but I'm willing to overlook that character flaw because it's you. Because honestly you could do just about anything and I'd-"

   You cut him off abruptly, your lips melding onto his with slightly too much force and knocking you both slightly off balance when the wave hits, the two of you tumbling into the shallow waters. It still doesn't exactly dawn on you what's going on, your brain is still narrowly focused on how soft his lips felt under yours for that nanosecond before you're drawn out by Namjoon's barking laughter.

   "I never would have expected you to actually sweep me off my feet. I assumed it was supposed to be hyperbole, not a physical action. I guess I should learn to expect the unexpected with you." Before you can respond, he's hoisting you out of the water and his hands are placed gently on the small of your back as he leans down and places a featherlight kiss on you. It's almost uncertain, a kiss that's testing the waters asking for approval. It's magical, the way he feels against you. It's as if music will start playing and the little mermaid is about to burst forth and congratulate the two of you. The second kiss is firmer, one that you initiate as you tug at his hair and lean up on your tiptoes just to get all that much closer. When you break away for a moment he's quick to pull you back in, and this time you can feel your toes want to curl, your knees go weak and your brain grows dizzy as he nips at your lower lip and his tongue slips into your mouth. You might have to rethink this pineapple business after all.

   You've dreamt of this moment a thousand times, wondering from perhaps the moment he first stumbled into your small little shop what he would be like. And yet in all of your various daydreams (and wet dreams if you're very honest) you still never pictured it being so perfect. It's that mix of gentle timidity at the beginning that melds into an all-consuming passion that's just so Namjoon and just so right. It's addictive, a new kind of high you want to chase forever. "I don't think you know just how long I've wanted to do that."

   "I really wish you would have sooner, but I'm glad you did now because if I'm perfectly honest I was way too nervous to do it first." He presses his forehead gently on yours as he speaks, his hands moving rhythmically along the small of your back as he holds you tighter. God bless Jin and the others for refusing to come so you could finally have this moment. "So that being said, can I kiss you again?"

   "Please do." You're barely louder than a whisper, your eyes focused on the way his lips quirk up and dimples show before he's kissing you again. It's slower this time, longer. There's something more sensual looming underneath it this time. The way his hands pull you in closer, hands gripping your hips tightly. The way your tongues dance together. The feeling of desire coils up in your belly as a soft moan falls out of your lips when his hand roams tentatively lower until he's kneading at the soft flesh of your ass. If there's an award for best kisser then you have no doubt that Namjoon deserves it.

       The only thing that breaks the two of you out of your trance is the sounds of a group of people encroaching closer into witnessing what should be private bliss. The two of you glance over to see people setting up a bonfire not too terribly far away before looking back at each other. His hands remain in place for just a moment longer before he reluctantly pulls back and nods his head in the direction of his parent's summer home. "I suppose we should go inside now." His hand laces together with yours when you nod softly, leading you back without an ounce of worry or rushing. It's as if he's silently telling you that the two of you will have all the time in the world. So you reciprocate this possible hidden sentiment with an equally silent agreeance by squeezing his hand a few times.

   It doesn't take long for the two of you to hang up your towels and be right back inside. For a moment the silence just hangs in the air, the only noises heard are the distant partiers outside and the hum of the chilly AC when it kicks to life. "So...do you want to watch a movie?" Namjoon's words come out slightly rough and hoarse as if he hasn't spoken in hours.

   "Sure, we can do that. Whatever you pick I'm fine with. I'll just go take a shower and change real quick first." What you really want to do is jump his bones and drag him to the nearest soft landing spot. It's been a long time since you've felt lust consume you in such a carnal way. But you aren't sure if he's asking if you want to watch movies for his sake or yours. Perhaps he wants to take things slow. Either way, you figure that if perchance the two of you do decide to do something it might be best to wash off the salty ocean water currently drying out your skin.

       It isn't long before you've returned to the living room, this time clad in comfy warm sweat pants and a t-shirt. You find that Namjoon seems to have done the same and is currently lounging on the sofa as he browses through the international movie section of Netflix. If you're honest you're not much of a movie buff, but there's something about how excited he gets about watching obscure indie films from around the world that lights you up inside. "Hey, I'm kind of thinking of watching this one. It's about purgatory but it's not a horror movie, it says it's a coming of age movie."

   "A coming of age movie about purgatory, is that even possible?" You slide into the spot next to him on the couch, casting a quirked eyebrow at him before looking back at the screen. "Now I'm curious to see how they work that out. I say we watch it." There's a hum of content that leaves him as he starts up the movie before tossing a blanket over the two of you and bringing you closer to him. He smells like sandalwood and cinnamon, an earthy spicy blend that you inhale deeply as you nestle into his shoulder. You suppose there's a lot that the two of you still need to work out, still need to figure out or actually say. But right now everything feels so right, so cozy. As if the world has finally stopped spinning long enough for the two of you to just enjoy the moment.

   One of his arms is wrapped around your shoulders while you lace your hand with the free one. You never noticed before but he has much larger hands than yours. It's comforting in a sense, the feeling of just being in his arms cloaks you with safety and squashes any anxiety. But the desire is still looming in the distance as you take in the sight of him. The domestic side of him you haven't seen often. Freshly showered, in pajamas, his skin glowing with a soft tan and hair drying in floppy waves. It shouldn't excite you this much, but you can still feel the lingering sensation of his hands gripping your ass as his teeth nibble on your lower lip and now you want more. You want so much more. You want to feel him, you want to explore everything he has to offer.

   He casts a glance to the side to see you staring at him, a shy smile coming over his face. "Aren't you going to watch the movie?"

   "I kind of really want to kiss you again. I think that sounds far more interesting, no offense to the movie or anything." You watch Namjoon's eyes grow wide, his ears burning a bright cherry red as your hand snakes up his neck and you move in closer. "May I? Kiss you that is?" You watch him nod slowly before you inch in closer, your lips slowly melding with his. But you want more, and this peck is just the beginning. When he finally starts to reciprocate you twist and shuffle until you're straddling his lap. There is no uncertainty now, just a needy passion that consumes each movement. His hands begin to finally roam, slowly gliding up the back of your thighs to your ass until the creep forward yet again and he's moving to the hem of your shirt. He breaks away slowly, a thin trail of saliva breaking off as his gaze moves between your lips and your eyes.

   "Can I...take off your shirt?" You might have nodded a smidge too enthusiastically if the light chuckle you get in response is anything to go by. But at this point, you're too far gone to care if you look a little needy. Even just the brush of his knuckles against your bare skin as he tugs your shirt up and over feels scorching hot. The way his molten brown eyes take everything in, searching greedily, has your desire spinning further out of control. You can't remember the last time a partner of yours has looked at you this way, as if you're the finest delicacy they've ever seen and they want nothing more than to just dive in. Your lips connect hungrily to his neck as his hands snake up to unlatch your bra.

   "You're so beautiful, you know that?" His words are gruff with desire as you tug off his shirt and admire the firm planes of his stomach. For a moment everything stops, the two of you simply drink in the sights of one another until you're back on each other in a frenzy. You aren't sure when or how it happens but it feels like in just a fraction of a second the two of you are finally bare, and now you've twisted around with his face just inches away from your pussy. "I can't wait to taste you, you don't know how many times I've thought of this. How many times I’ve thought of how you’d feel, (y/n). How you’d sound when you moan my name."

   His eyes flicker up to yours for a moment as his hands stroke softly at the inside of your thighs. There's something softer in his gaze, something that says while he wants you physically he's also wanted this emotionally for some time. "Please taste me already Joon, I want to feel you already." He gives a small grunt in response before his tongue is licking a wide stripe along your dripping cunt. The sensation has your nerves on fire, your neck falling back into the couch as you grab onto his hair. He moves in a slow, tantalizing rhythm. His tongue delves between your folds and always comes up to plant a smattering of wet kisses on your clit. Each brush of his tongue has you moaning, each time his teeth scrape by with just enough pressure you can feel that familiar coil wind tighter. "Fuck, you're really good at this."

   It shouldn't be legal for your heart to melt over the dimples that appear when his face is literally buried in your pussy. But with Namjoon there's always this air of domestic bliss, a safe haven of comfort, the shines through even in the most carnal debauchery. The praise seems to drive him forward, his mouth latching onto your clit as two fingers slowly stretch you out. When his fingers curl up at just the right spot you can feel your climax hurtle closer, but you don't want it just yet. You want to feel him inside you, you want to finally feel full of nothing but him before your release. "Stop, stop Joony I'm going to come if you don't stop. I wanna cum with you-fuck-inside me." That finally gets his attention, his fingers finally snake out and you watch him pop them into his mouth with delight before his hands tug your hips closer to him.

   This time your kisses are sloppy, needy, and rushed. The taste of your tangy arousal on his tongue has small moans of delight bubbling out of you. "Fuck, I really want you. I can't wait to feel you." He pauses for a moment to stare down at the couch and you can tell that his gears are slowly grinding underneath the haze of lust. "I think I have a condom somewhere in my luggage. Give me a moment, I'll be right back." Before you can nod in response he's already taken off, your eyes glued to his ass as he runs away. If you thought he had a cute ass before, it looks all that much better without the clothing.

   After a minute or so of radio silence, you hear a loud crash, some banging, and muffled cursing. "You okay Joon?" You're quick on your feet and when you open the door you see his luggage strewn about on the floor with a large lamp laying next to it. "Oh, I hate when lamps try to run away from me. But really, are you okay?"

   "Physically, just fine. The only thing that's been damaged is my pride. Good news though, I did manage to find that condom!" He presents the gold foil with childlike glee, his smile reaching from ear to ear and you can't help but laugh. "Wait! I should probably mention that I didn't even pack them, Yoongi's fiance did saying that I really needed to get laid so I swear, this wasn't some large diabolical-"

   "Joon, it's fine. I'm glad you have a condom because I would really, really like to fuck you." The atmosphere shifts again, earlier playful twitterings are thrown out the door as you sit down on his bed. "If you still want to, that is."

   "God, you're going to be the death of me." With a groan, he's back up and by your side, his hand fisting over his half hard cock to get it to spring back to life as he peppers kisses over your face and pushes you into his feather-down pillows. "I can't wait to feel you, I can't wait to make you mine."

   "I'm pretty sure that emotionally I've been yours since the moment you went with me to feed the koi fish."

   "Remind me to send them a thank you present in that case." You prop yourself up on your elbows as he rips back the foil and slowly rolls the rubber over his length. You feel enough delight to border on delirium over the fact that you're finally going to feel him. Finally, after all this time of late night frustrations caused by even the smallest of contact with him, you're going to be able to feel him. The sensation of him coating himself in your arousals as he lines up has your nerves dancing with anticipation. He enters at an agonizingly slow pace, the stretch has you gripping onto the sheets and toes curling as his name leaves you in slow whines.

   "Please move, I can't take it. I need to feel you. Deeper." Lust has fogged over your brain and your words come out wobbly, slower, lower than normal. His hips push deeper, faster until his pace is almost brutal. The sounds of skin slapping against skin, loud wet squelches, and groans of satisfaction fill the room. His lips find yours again, his teeth nipping playfully as one hand sneaks down to rub circles on your clit.

   "I wanna make you cum, I want to see you all fucked out on my cock. Does this feel good?" The lower timber of his voice mixed with the clitoral stimulation has you spasming around him.

   "Fuck, yeah. Yeah just-fuck-just like that. Fuck! Don't stop, please don't stop I-I" His hips piston deeper, further into you as he presses kisses onto your neck.

   "Let go, baby, just let go." Your climax hits you quickly, stars spotting your vision as your legs hook around his waist. It feels like you're floating, it's transcendental. As if sex has brought you to a higher realm, a place where everything is perfect and right as you cry out in pleasure. He fucks you through it, new waves of satisfaction rolling in with each movement. You're slightly delirious as you come back to reality, a smile gracing your face as you hear words of praise roll off his tongue.

   "I could watch you cum all day. Fuck, you're so tight now. I'm not going to last much longer. Hold on, turn around." He helps you reposition until your ass is up in the air and your face is pressed snuggly into the pillows. His hands guide your hips in place as he quickly bottoms out, his pace picking up until you're a mewling mess.

   "Joon, fuck, please cum. I wanna feel you cum." The groans of satisfaction in response to your words has you spasming again, toes curling as his hands grip the flesh of your ass. You can feel his movements become sloppier, the rhythm falling out of sync as he pushes himself further to the edge that's teetering just out of reach. You snake your hand down to gently cup his balls and he gives a guttural moan in response. It only takes four more thrusts before he's spilling into the condom, lodged deep inside of your wet heat still as he slumps forward.

   "Holy shit." He catches his breath before he rolls over, carefully tieing off the condom and tossing it into a waste bin before he pulls you into his arms. "That was-"

   "Amazing? Mind-blowing? The best sex of your life?"

   "Yeah."

   "Good. It was for me too. I'll probably owe Jin for life now though for refusing to come. He kept saying that I needed to get laid." Namjoon laughs as he presses a kiss to your temple.

   "You know that's actually the same thing that Yoongi and his fiance said? I'm glad that they were right though. They kept telling me to just tell you that I liked you but for some reason, I was so nervous. You're just so sweet, and funny, and caring and perfect and I was convinced that you would think I had too much baggage to want to try with me."

   "You? Baggage? Please, I'm the one with the mommy and daddy issues, I think I trump you on the baggage claim. Besides, you're this witty, charming, intelligent, and painfully handsome man. How could I not fall for you?"

   That night the two of you fall asleep in between stolen kisses, cuddling, and conversations of love and life and what the future might have in store. As it turns out the future held pretty good things if you do say so yourself. Somehow the two of you helped each other heal, encouraged each other to grow and expand as people. It isn't always easy, but the two of you develop further into love when things get harder. And so somehow you managed not only to find love but after five years the government knows you're in love too. Three years after the wedding bells and you adopt your first child. Another two years later and you welcome in your second child and you finally realize that your biggest dream was coming true. You finally got the family you always wanted. And Jin was sure to remind you often that really it was all thanks to him. You can't say he's entirely wrong though, after all, he did help give you the chance to sweep Namjoon off his feet.

#btssmutclub #namjoon smut #rm smut #namjoon fanfic #namjoon fluff #namjoon reader insert #namjoon x reader #bts reader insert #bts smut #bts fluff #bts fanfiction

[orsino-the-enchanter]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent (the mere existence of a post-canon verse is diverging from canon)/ fandomless / complicated

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. It depends on what you mean as popular. Whoever has ever played DA2 knows Orsino because he’s important to the plot (especially in act 3) but the opinions on him are conflicted. like they are on any morally gray character. Still, he is a side character who has like 5 scenes in the entire game, so I believe he’s not getting the attention he deserves.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. Orsino certainly is not everyone’s cup of tea, I can say that much. Physical appearance-wise he is very attractive for what he is: a stressed/depressed middle-aged DA2 elf who has seen SomeShit™ in his life. He has aged way more graceful than what he could have, but still, he is in his late 40s/early 50s, which can be a deterrent factor to some; also, the elves in this game have distinctive inhuman-like features that people either love or hate. Personally, I think that there is harmony and beauty in his features, which makes him weirdly pretty to look at and i love the fact that they gave him an hourglass body shape. However, Orsino’s true beauty lies in his personality and his calm, collected, polite demeanor. His voice is another huge bonus.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. I mean... he’s a First Enchanter who keeps his knowledge on blood magic and necromancy a secret, there are hints that he’s a somniari mage throughout the game, he has some very badass scenes where he kicks the asses of bigger/stronger opponents than himself when he’s outnumbered AND he has one of the 2 boss battles in the finale of the game. There is no doubt that he is a force to be reckoned with in battle.

Are they underrated? YES / NO / IDK. I think he’s criminally underrated not just by the fandom, but even  the creators of the game, who gave him no backstory, only a handful of scenes and butchered his character just to add another boss battle.

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO. Meeting him along with Knight Commander Meredith and Viscount Dumar earns you an achievement (the “friends in high places” one). He is one of the main antagonists in the third and most crucial part of the game and you can either choose to side with him or oppose him.

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. Lots of elements in the storyline depend on the protagonist’s political views on what’s going on in Kirkwall, and since Orsino is a prominent political figure, he is relevant to the protagonist’s views. He can be either an ally or an opponent, depending to what the protagonist’s views are. Also, he had been involved to the protagonist’s tragic loss of their mother -albeit indirectly-, since he was an informant of the murderer.

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. He’s a controversial but VERY well-known public figure, to the point where he can be recognized in the streets -even if people have never seen him before, they can recognize the staff he carries, his distinctive robes and the fact that he’s an elf (an elven first enchanter is news in itself, so he doesn’t go by unnoticed). The protagonist has heard of him -along with rumors and gossip surrounding him- before he had the chance to meet him in person. He has such influence and people skills that he even carried out a rally to overturn the Knight Commander’s rule of the city and almost succeeded.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. Depends on who you ask. Mage sympathizers see him as a brave advocate of his people’s rights who wouldn’t hesitate to put his life on the stake for them. The common folk and the city authorities see him as a potentially dangerous troublemaker and rebel.

How strictly do you follow canon? — I try to follow canon mostly in my canon verse, while taking some artistic liberties due to the lack of a concise backstory. In post-canon verses and au’s, I have taken all the insights on Orsino’s personality, views and way of thinking and I have adapted them to fit each verse’s context.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  For him ‘mage’ is not just a term describing his abilities, it is also a term describing his personality as a whole. He has that elegance, cultivation and mystical charm about him; he is morally grey yet charismatic; witty yet cunning and certainly not one to be toyed with. Despite the exterior of a powerful yet restrained scholar he maintains , however, there are many layers to him and each is darker than the last. He can be both the erudite conversation partner you’d like to have an existential conversation with over a glass of good wine, a trusted advisor you’d confide your problems to and a force to be reckoned with who would obliterate you or your enemies in battle, depending on the situation. Still, the First Enchanter has some very vulnerable sides too, but he tries to keep them to himself.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  — In the main verse he’s a minor character; with not as much involvement in the protagonist’s life as other characters (such as the companions). He’s also kind of secluded and not in touch with whatever happens in real life -not just because he lives in the Circle, but because he has been institutionalized, like any other person who has been brought there from a very young age. Also, there is the age gap which can make him a bit harder to reach than someone younger.

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  When I played DA2 for the first time, Orsino piqued my interest because he was the very definition of a tragic figure.  He was the only voice of reason in the madhouse that is Kirkwall; yet he was fighting alone for a just cause that was doomed. He had the whole city and the authorities against him; still, he did not give up trying to protect his people; and he did his best to refrain from violence until the bitter end. His death -a suicide, no matter how you cut it- was equally tragic as the life he led; it was seeing the bringer of hope for mages losing all hope himself and deciding to go fighting and not on his knees. That, combined with his sarcasm and sophistication convinced me that I had to do justice to this poor underappreciated soul and dig deeper into his character -even try to write an alternative ending for him. Hence, this blog was created.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  My amazing roleplay partners with all the good work they put into their characters and the love they have shown me and my character so far. I love you guys <3

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? i have my doubts sometimes, but i think i do ok. Still, I would love to have more feedback to see how i can improve even more.

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / SORT OF Headcanons, metas, the works.

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO. I am not sure what is meant by ‘drabbles’ but sure, I’d love to write more of those.

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO. All the time, especially before going to bed. That is where all those rp ideas come from.

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO / SORT OF? Again, i don’t really get much feedback, so i am not that sure if I am doing any good and if my Orsino sounds genuine

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO / SOMETIMES. I like how i have written some threads more than others, I’m not gonna lie.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO / SORTA. I am a sensitive person in general, but not someone whose feelings are easily hurt/triggered or someone who takes things that are not my business to heart.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  Criticism is welcome only when it is constructive; in the sense that there are clearly stated arguments as to what I do not do right and suggestions on how to improve. If someone sends me an ask like “i don’t like x just because” or anon hate, I am just going to ignore it.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  — YES!!! YESS!!! YESS!!!!!!! I cannot stress enough how helpful it is for me to receive suggestions and questions that help me explore sides of my character i have not thought about so far! Even if your questions are the randomest things ever, i’d still LOVE to answer them. I have received some asks like “what would Orsino do in x situation” in the past and they were SO fun to write!

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  Of course! As I said, so far the opinion is supported beyond the ‘just because’, I will be happy to consider it. Anything that helps me broaden my perspective is welcome.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  same as the above.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  — I do not really mind; i am the first person to recognize that Orsino is a controversial figure and people may hate him for whatever reason. I might not agree with the hate, but each to their own I suppose.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  — If they do not do it in the typical ‘grammar nazi’ style i’m chill with it. Grammatical errors tend to happen more often than not, just because i almost never proofread. *shrug*

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  I think so, yes. As I said, I am not easily annoyed, triggered or have my feelings hurt, and i am very excited to interact with new people. Still, i do recommend reading my verses/about/rules pages, if anything, to know what to expect from my portrayal and activity patterns.

tagged by: stolen from @theharellan tagging: @of-enormous-girth @oftevinter @the-old-and-the-hapless @soldier-of-visus @lathsuledin @redtemplarcommander​ @hisfavoritewolf​ @the-champions-of-the-just​ @lowtownbutcher​ @elderone​ @sworntoprotect​ @altuspavus​ @starkhavenprince​ @aqun--athlok​ @hornedchief​ @iamcole​

#meme

[cchilyoja]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

tagged by:   tagged by the always wonderful @foxcharmed tagging:    anyone that follows me, sees this on their dash & wants to do it :)

MY MUSE IS:   canon / oc / au / slightly canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated.

IS YOUR CHARACTER POPULAR IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO. Well, he is the main character of the show, but seeing as there’s only me & @legcndreportr that write character from the show, I’d say, the RP fandom for it is tiny, but I think a lot of people that watch dramas like the show & the characters.

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED HOT™ IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO / IDK. [ I mean, he’s played by Ji Chang Wook, I mean, obviously yes. Have you seen just how many fan JCW blogs there are on this site? Understandable. Honestly, and truly.  ]

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED STRONG IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO / IDK. [ I’d say he’s very skilled & flawed. There are many things that he can do, many things that he is good at, but the slew of both traumatic and just plain shitty things that had happened to him over the early years of his childhood, combined with HUGE abandonment issues that he has never really dealt with. All of that can make certain mundane things a lot harder than any 007 stuff that he sometimes does. ]

ARE THEY UNDERRATED?   YES / NO / IDK. [ I think, even though I love the character, obv been RPing him for years. I hate that people don’t STAN the other characters as much, especially the other main female characters that are just as interesting, complex and worth loving. But alas that is the world we live in. ]

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN STORY?   YES / NO,he is the main story, if you know what I mean. But no, seriously, he is the main character. 

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN CHARACTER?   YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. [ Yeah, but tbh, I find it that in the show, the two main characters are equally sorted in the first place, Jung-hoo is nothing without Young-shin. There would be no development, no revelation about his life, childhood and interesting complex storytelling and showing without her.  ]

ARE THEY WIDELY KNOWN IN THEIR WORLD?   YES / NO. [ One would assume that I should put YES for this, buuuut, while HEALER is known to the criminal underbelly, police and those that would want or need to hire someone like him, the general public has no idea. Which is exactly what he wants, because attention isn’t really a useful thing in his line of work, or just the way he lives his life.  ]

HOW’S THEIR REPUTATION?   GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. [ Good when it comes to how skilful he is, but bad as a person. His character arc really goes a looong way from where he is in episode 1. Like the first thing we see is him playing a tennis VR game, complaining that he can’t pick the character he is playing against to have less clothes (that being a computer-generated character but still), which isn’t really all that interesting and for sure not someone I’d be all into writing. And also his lack of care when it comes to what he does, like the guy he was protecting also in ep 1. Ends up dead, and he’s annoyed bc the police think he killed him, the fact that he’s dead, he couldn’t care less. ]

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON?   —   I’ve been writing him for over two years, and it’s just no fun to just follow the canon. He has developed overtime on his own, and besides that, I just never really like any CANON fully. When it comes to the show, bc there are only 16 eps, and as with most dramas there is only one season. So I’ve taken the liberty to expand on the canon and to create Jung-hoo as I think he’d be, away from the scenes we can see him in.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.   —   For me personally, I really found it interesting that the mother that abandoned him, married someone else and had a whole new family, after his father died. Jung-hoo cares for her, meets with her, gives her money etc. He doesn’t hate or resent her, I think that shows a lot of compassion but also emotional intelligence. He has this me vs the world outlook, way of life, mentally, however you want to call it, but is in desperate need for someone to SEE him. Like acknowledge his existence, to stay, to love him. He is incredibly skilled & capable, everything you’ve seen 007 do, he does it better. Also I’ve made sure to include diverse verses so there is a way to explore pretty much anything under the sun that you could think of.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).   —  I think he can’t really move past the whole I hate everyone & I need someone. So he goes back and forth, it is difficult to create a meaningful connection. I’ve been lucky to do that but that’s also bc I’ve written with some people here for years. 

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE?   —   I had taken a few years break from RP, which used to be like one of my main interests, writing in general. And then I was getting into just watching Kdramas, watched HEALER, and I was instantly like I HAVE TO WRITE HIM, and never looked back really. 

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING?   —   Auditory stimuli, be it music or just sounds. For example, when I write I tend to use programs or websites where you can put different sounds in the background like thunder, rain, wind, chatter etc. Watching yt clips, seeing people on my dash tbh, like people that I follow also inspire me bc they make me go I WANNA WRITE WITH ALL OF THEM.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

DO YOU THINK YOU GIVE YOUR CHARACTER JUSTICE?   YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? [ I think I tend to have all of these feelings, sometimes I’m like, yeah, this is Jung-hoo, this is exactly what I wanted, sometimes I’m like who am I writing? But I just focus more on me enjoying writing him, than thinking if people think I write him as they think I should.]

DO YOU FREQUENTLY WRITE HEADCANONS?   YES / NO / SORT OF? [I have a bunch of headcanons about like the smallest of things, like the fact that I don’t think he likes wearing socks is one of them, but,  I don’t write them or post them on here. I’m not sure why, I guess I prefer to sort of just sprinkle them in the threads??? ]

DO YOU SOMETIMES WRITE DRABBLES?   YES / NO [ Kinda. I also write fanfiction & I had started this original one with sort of Jung-hoo in mind but not really him. I realized I really like writing starters, I think that’s probably like an unpopular opinion or way of thinking but I really enjoy starting the thread, and I kinda sometimes think starters are like drabbles, I’m not making sense. ]

DO YOU THINK A LOT ABOUT YOUR MUSE DURING THE DAY?   YES / NO

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR PORTRAYAL?   YES / NO / SORT OF? [ Depends on my mental state. Like sometimes 100% and then other times it’s like what am I even doing?? ]

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR WRITING?   YES / NO / A LITTLE BIT. [ I enjoy how I write, if that makes sense. I’d like to think that I can switch it up now and again, keep it fresh, I def know that I’ve evolved over the course of the years I’ve been RPing ]

ARE YOU A SENSITIVE PERSON?   YES / NO. / SORTA.

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?   —   Sure. I’m fine with that. I just think that the INTERNET does not know how to compute that, or people on the internet. It’s either, you can do no wrong or you should die a horrible death. It’s like either STAN or HATE. And it’s also somehow part of the rp community here on Tumblr. Where there’s just either fake praise or just unnecessary hate. And then there is a bit in the middle where like you can talk and exchange ideas and thoughts. But it is not the main focus by any means. If anyone wants to tell me to change something, or to do something diff, sure, let me hear you out, you might inspire me to improve. But that rarely happens. 

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU TO EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER?   — Of course, I think a lot of people are like this. Talking about my character gives me muse for the character. Like we could be talking how he’d eat a salad and I’d be like, okay now I have to write a novella about this other thing I’m inspired about. 

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?  —  That’s weird to me just bc I feel like when I read someones headcanon, this is how they, and them uniquely see the character, so I can’t really disagree with that, I can have an opinion for sure. But that’s like someone being I like this band, and you say, no you don’t, it just doesn’t make sense to me.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT?   —  Same with the previous one. Like I often find blogs where they are writing a character that I either love from a show, move, book whatever, or it’s a canon type character that I find really interesting, like the idea behind it, but then I read their writing and then I go, aaaah okay nooo, no NO. And it’s never personal, it’s like, we ain’t gonna mesh, which is fine. And if someone is like that with my writing, fully understandable, just don’t be a dick about it, and we’ll be cool.

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?  —  Couldn’t really give less of a shit really. RP to me is this little bubble where I am this fictional person that can do and try everything. It is in no way connected to any other aspect of actual reality or my life. The only connection is if I have to take a hiatus or smth, but like even if I write OOC things, it’s about IC stuff. I have other social medial for real life, this is just my RP bubble. So if someone is wasting their time hating a fictional character, they have bigger fish to fry. 

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS?   —   Sure, English isn't my first language so mistakes happen. If I see someone make a mistake and the write with me, I just change it when I reply to them, but I don’t point it out bc you never know, someone people could be okay cool thanks, and someone else could really feel down on themselves, which would be bad, and I wouldn’t want that to happen.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN?  —  I’d like to think so, especially that I’m easy to approach and talk to. I don’t take many things seriously, not just on here but like in life. So I’m always open to any idea anyone might have. I’ve been lucky with the people that I’ve been following & those that have followed me, a huge percentage is just really dope people, nice to read their writing, nice to talk to, great to write with. And I hope that it stays that way, so we can also have this as some kind of mental break from life :) 

#MUSING #ABOUT #outofhacks #this was long but fun to write out :)