11/03/23
I feel like my teeth are too big for it’s home. When I talk, they snag on the walls and scar—I’m bleeding out my mouth, confused as you are.
When I shake and Clatter, they tear holes in my cheeks. Exposed too widely, I’m grotesque and meek.
My lips can only contort so much; to adhere to the teeth, to move as it goes. Oh, my lips have never been very tough, the troubles of living with this skeletal foe.
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Why do people keep approaching me?
I sometimes wonder if it’s more usual to attempt to approach people again and again than to hardly approach them and instead let them come to you, if they decide so. I saw a video from a doctoral candidate in psychology on youtube (channel name ana psychology, don’t remember the specific video though) where she confessed that she belongs in the former group. She also commented how she wonders how some people belong in the latter, as she also has mostly met other people who also belong in the former. But for me it’s always been the latter. I can hardly imagine being in the former.
In fact, I often become irritated when people try approaching me. Not because they’re annoying or I feel uncomfortable, but because I judge them. Why would you willingly gravel like that? For me? I’m not exactly a good person. Why would you even want to get closer to me or someone like me? I continue bringing emotional pain to people by mentally yoyoing them around, yet you still try to come closer. Why? Not that I mind yoyoing you a bit more. I like doing it. But I also will judge you.
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12 November 2018 | 09:45 (PST)
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Iwaizumi Hajime x F!Reader
Oikawa’s ringtone can be heard in the kitchen where Iwaizumi had left his phone. It’s been two months since you left and a week since you called. The apartment is empty without you, even if all of your belongings are here, promising your return.
For what it’s worth, Oikawa’s been surprisingly helpful, carefully listening to both sides, understanding that it’s a case of frayed nerves, miscommunication, and shitty circumstances. So Iwaizumi wastes no time answering the phone.
“Iwa-chan! How’s California?”
“The same as it was two days ago. Kinda shitty and on fire.”
“Tsk. Always such a downer. Are you sure that it isn’t the absence of—”
“Her absence is exactly why it’s shitty and you know that.”
“Hm. I suppose I do,” Oikawa muses lightly. “Are you still on track to graduate just before summer?”
“Yeah. Spoke to my advisors this past week. I could graduate in two months, if I wanted, but…” if he does, then he’ll be leaving California. Leaving you. You’re nearly done with med school, almost ready to return to Japan.
He has no intention of returning alone. He’ll fight tooth and nail for you, for this relationship. Even if you two are… in a tough place right now, he’s not going anywhere.
“Ah. Well. She misses you. She’s wrapped her pillow with one of your old Godzilla shirts.”
He snorts at the image, at the knowledge that it was you who had taken his shirt, that he hadn’t lost it at the laundromat. “That… sounds about right, I guess. How—how is she?”
“What? She hasn’t called you?” Oikawa asks, sounding surprised. Overwhelmingly surprised.
“No? She called me last Tuesday and I haven’t really heard from her since.”
“That’s—maybe she picked up extra shifts at the clinic? I could ask when I see her tomorrow.”
“You’re gonna see her tomorrow?”
“We were gonna watch a recording of the Adlers-Black Jackal’s game. I wanna watch Ushiwaka and Kageyama lose to Shōyō! Do you want me to tell her to give you a call?”
Iwaizumi hesitates, wanting to talk to you more than anything—actually, no, he wants to hold you more than anything—but he wants it only if you’re doing it because you want to.
“Nah. It’s okay. I’ll, ah, I’ll shoot her a text. Hopefully, we’ll be able to talk today or tomorrow. Hey, listen—”
“Iwa-chan. She’ll come around,” Oikawa states, catching onto Iwaizumi’s discomfort. “It was nice chatting with you, but practice is about to start.”
“Yeah, man. Talk to you later.”
Iwaizumi sinks into the couch, letting his mind wander over what the future holds. With his program coming to an end, will he be able to find work with the V. League? When you return, will you two be able to reconcile properly? Will you want to be a part of his future?
Before he can spend too much time dwelling on the infinite possibilities that lay ahead, he receives a text from you.
Hey. I miss you. A lot.
There’s so much I want to tell you but I know you’re probably busy. Please give me a call if your schedule permits? I have two days off, starting tomorrow. I’ll be watching a recording of the Schweiden-MSBY game with Crappykawa tomorrow, but that can be paused... I miss you.
I hope you’re well.
over the course of 24 hours masterlist | haikyuu!! masterlist
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Also yeah it took me this long to get 100+ pages into scum villian, I've been also reading some other shorter books to pass the time so yeah. Honestly when I really like something I don't want it to end so I put it off but I'm really trying to get to the end of the book so I know what happens next!
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Excuse me, pardon me, excuse me...
When all the Boiz insist on going out into the entry area at the same time the front pathway turns into the highway at commute hour.
Especially when one of those Boiz is Jeep!
When you are the size of a Jeep you rather fill the roadway.
the Wizzard, the Youngish Prince, Jeep- Borzoi
the Imp, the Brother- Silken Windhounds
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