Why do we have to suffer to survive? Is surviving even worth it? I think about killing myself daily. It's all because of my shitty job. There's about 50 other reasons, but it's the main one. It makes me feel worthless. It's the same thing over and over and over again. Nothing changes. I'm alone 98% of the time except for the customers. And of course I don't exist to them unless they need something. Anyone could do this job, yet I'm the one being punished with it. This has to be a punishment. It's so soul crushing and monotonous. I hate feeling invisible. I hate feeling like no one's there. Am I even there? I want to quit, but I need money. I'm barely scraping by as is. If I quit, I wouldn't be able to get another job. I try and I never hear back. I got my previous job because my dad knew someone there and this job is just a different department in the same store. I shouldn't have quit my last job, but it started getting overwhelming. Had no idea this new position would be a thousand times worse. I didn't even apply for this damn position! I applied to be a stocker, but they said they needed someone in the lawn and garden area. Didn't tell me anything else, like that the job was shit, the pay was shit, even the manager is full of shit!! I literally have to dissociate my way through the day in order to not have a mental breakdown. The worst part is, whether I stay or leave, I suffer!!! I really have no reason to live. What's the point if I'm going to want to die for the rest of my life?
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Dear Diary,
When I graduate and have my graduation pic, I'll hold up a picture of my brother's grave with the caption.
"noob, didn't got to go to college, haha" while crying and laughing like the maniac I am.
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Progress with coworkers (socially)
I finally managed to have some progress with my coworkers socially. Today instead of being quiet or talking strictly work, I just made little comments here and there about the random topics my coworkers were chatting about and they seemed to like it. Even the one boss that's kinda intimidating gave me small smiles and stuff when I finished the day, which she doesn't do all that much. Or idk, I haven't paid too much attention to that, only to how I've been intimidated when she's giving instructions. Also, one boss who teased me about something I told them last week, I teased back today. Last time I just made faces cus I froze lol
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@kobrafangs 1K DTIYS Entry!!
hi hello uhhh I really really like your art so when I saw your DTIYS I HADDDD to join in!!! Ur drawings are always so nice aaghhdgjdhssjak
I love the way you draw their hairstyles ESPECIALLY the blue in Nya’s, so I tried using your jaya designs which was rlly fun!! I hope I captured them well :DD 🩵💙💛
Also can I just say how adorable the little gingerbread men are omg <<\\333
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playing truth or dare with your boyfriend was fun. suna was always considerate enough to let you off with only slightly hard dares and didn't ask very embarrassing questions. only slightly embarrassing questions. slightly.
"okay, now your turn, rinnie. truth... or dare."
"truth."
"but rinnie you always pick truth." you whined. you had a very good dare in mind and it definitely did not include him painting your nails.
"but babee i don't want to paint your nails."
first of all, suna would do whatever you asked him to. second of all, he never picked dares, ever, in truth or dare.
"ok, who's your favorite singer or artist?"
not the best question, but suna never listened to music in front of you.
"artist? ummm uh... artist? why would you wanna know anyways? suna mumbled.
"answer the question, rin. why so nervous?"
now you definitely need to know who he listens to.
suna mumbled something that sounded like 'eyelashes'
"eyelashes? what do you mean eyelashes? who's eyelashes? is it like a band?"
"not eyelashes, dumbass." he said before mumbling something that definitely sounded like 'eyelashes'.
"you keep saying eyelash. speak up rinnie. i listen to 'the Backyardigans songs sometimes." you tried encouraging him.
"billie eilish." suna deadpanned
"what?"
"billie. eilish"
"billie eilish? you?"
"okay you can stop now. and yes, billie eilish."
"wait. wait. wait. wait." you said
"i'm waiting."
"wait. wait. wai-"
"can you stop now?" suna asked, shushing you with his finger.
"now that I think about it, you seem like a person who listens to 'all the good girls go to hell'" you said, staring at your boyfriend with a face of pure concentration and analysis.
"isn't 'you should see me in a crown' better?" suna asked.
"excuse me? excuse moi? verzeihung? me falni? e kala mai iaʻu?"
"okay, okay. done? i'm just saying, 'you should see me in a crown' has more of a beat to it. you know?" suna said
"no. nope. never. nada. non. nem." you continued.
as much as you loved knowing your boyfriend loved the same artists as you, you couldn't believe he thought 'you should see me in a crown' is better.
"happier than ever, or all the good girls go to hell." you asked.
"happier than ever."
"really? really really? oh my gosh rinnie me too!"
"yeah. the transition is so cool. but all the good girls go to hell sucks."
"no it doesn't"
"yes it does"
"no it doesn't"
"yes it does"
"no it doesn't."
"yes it does."
"fine then," you said, "either you listen to all the good girls go to hell, or you can paint my nails."
"fine, then. I'll gladly paint your nails"
heavily inspired by me listening to me billie eilish playlist and reading suna fanfics and then suddenly getting a burst of inspo to do this. my first drabble of 2023 is a suna rinataro one. woo hoo!
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⚠️ oc-tober update
hit the post limit on @bweirdevents two days in a row (u can only rb 250 posts per day) so in order to be able to keep the event active & up to date ive decided going forward im only gonna reblog posts with a 1 day buffer - meaning, todays and yesterdays prompts only! ⏰
i feel bad bc all you latecomers are doing amazing work!! but unfortunately if i keep reblogging late entries for day 1 then im gonna run out of reblogs within an hour or two every day 😭
if you started late and still really wanna get reblogged to the event archive i recommend skipping to the current prompt instead of playing catch up on days you missed!! (as stated in the event rules, skipping is ALLOWED and ENCOURAGED in this event 🙂)
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FFxivWrite23 Entry #2: Bark
FFxivWrite 2023
FFxivWrite23 Masterpost
Prompt #2: Bark
It was an evening like any other when Faye made her way through the rough streets of Ul’dah, the noblewoman clad in fine, white clothes entirely out of place there. The sun had already set, but be it due to foolish naivety or perhaps a more deserved confidence, Lady Covington did not appear nervous of her surroundings. She was not one to drop her guard, however, especially not some place so rife with dangers, and so the sound of a thud and some rustling from an alleyway wedged between two buildings as she passed immediately caught her attention and stopped her in her tracks.
She crept forward to peer around the corner, relieved to find the source of the noise was only a trash bin that had been toppled over by a small and no doubt harmless creature now rummaging through its contents. Quietly, she approached the furry critter which eventually took notice of the sound of her footsteps drawing near, and it withdrew its head from the trash can to look at her. It was a small dog, a motley mix of any and probably every terrier and toy breed, all skin and bones with filthy, matted fur and crusty eyes. The mutt instinctively barked and growled, guarding the chicken bone within his maw, but he quieted after he seemed to decide the Hyur before him was a friendly enough presence.
“Oh you poor, precious thing,” Faye cooed and she crouched down, heedless of soiling her long skirt and its pristine fabric on the dirty floor of the alley. Watching the dog, she outstretched one gloved hand and waited patiently for him to overcome his reservations, drop the bone, and hesitantly come closer to sniff her fingers, tiny black nose wiggling and his tail tucked between his skinny, shaking legs. Once he seemed comfortable, she dared to move her hand nearer, her fingers tentatively petting over his head, brushing the overgrown fur from his eyes. “That’s a good boy,” she spoke more honeyed words, and his tail gave a tired little wag.
Finding that the pets had been received well enough, Faye scooped the dog up into her arms, paying no mind to the fleas that would surely leap onto her and nip at her flesh, standing up and holding him outward to inspect him with delight. “Let’s go home, get you cleaned up and get you some real food. Oh, and you’ll need a name, of course. Something proper and dignified…” her words trailed off thoughtfully, and with that, Sir Checkers’ fate was sealed. She always did have a soft spot for strays.
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