#empathy discussion

[knifearo]

this year my challenge for everyone is to unlearn the association between love and morality. love is not something that is inherently morally good, and the absence of love is not something that is inherently bad. sex without love isn't morally bankrupt, it's just an action. people without love aren't less kind or less good, they're just people. when we can get past this false (and often unnoticed) dichotomy of good love/evil lovelessness then i think we are going to be able to take leaps and bounds in sex positivity, aro advocacy, certain discussions of mental health...

#and also. not the direct focus. but love doesn't make things good. you can be in love and do terrible terrible things. #people do bad things in the name of love and in despite of love all the time. #but!! imagine a world where people could exist as people and not be demonized. #sex positivity means being cool about All sex. reexamine your internal systems of moral judgement. #this goes for sex workers. for aroallo people. especially aroallo men. for aro people in general who might enjoy sex. #and frankly i think it can easily bleed into discussions about mental health disorders around 'not feeling' certain things #especially demonizing ppl who don't feel as much empathy. i think there's definitely a correlation between that and the emphasis on love. #our support needs to go out to Everybody and i think these things are all structured together in one way or another!! #it might not be immediately obvious but when i tell you it all leads back to amatonormativity..... little bit wild.... large bit wild.... #anyway. horror movie psychopath 'oh he can't feel emotions or love' damn alright. well. let's take a closer look at that. #silly that there's an association between lack of love and Murdering. feel like that might affect some stuff. #love is just an emotion/a feeling it doesn't mean anything about you one way or another #same with empathy. you can feel it all you want but it doesn't inherently change the actions you choose to take #anyway. thesis statement. there is a socially constructed link between love and morality. unlearn that. #kiss kiss (<— lovelessly) #aromantic #aromanticism #arospec #talking #aroace #aspec #sex positivity

[bixels]

The idea that uni protesters are "elitist ivy-league rich kids larping as revolutionaries" on Twitter and Reddit and even here is so fucking funny to me if you actually know anything about the student bodies at these unis. Take it from someone who's going to one of the biggest private unis in the US, 80% of the peers I know are either from the suburbs or an apartment somewhere in America, children of immigrants, or here on a student visa. I've heard about one-percenter students, but I've never met one in person. Like, don't get me wrong, the institution as a whole is still very privileged and white. I've talked with friends and classmates about feeling weird or dissonant being here and coming from such a different background. But in my art program, I see BIPOC, disabled, queer, lower-income students and faculty trying to deconstruct and tear that down and make space every day. So to take a cursory glance at a crowd of student protesters in coalitions that are led by BIPOC & 1st/2nd-gen immigrant students and HQ'd in ethnic housings and student organizations and say, "ah. children of the elite." Get real.

#also idk how to tell you this but even if it were true. wealthy children potentially sacrificing their educational careers to protest is #a good thing actually. idk how to tell you that caring about people from other nations is good #personal #“this war has nothing to do with most students cuz nobody's getting drafted” idk how to explain to you that we should be angry #that our tuitions of 10s of thousands of dollars that we pay every year for an education is being used to fund a genocidal campaign #also the implication that if you go to a uni institution you are automatically privileged by participation no matter your bg #i didn't /want/ to go to this school. i was supposed to go to a school with an art/animation program. but i realized my immigrant #parents have been working their whole lives to get me here. and turning the opportunity down would be a disservice to their sacrifice #this is getting into convos of “what 2nd gen kids owe their parents” which is different for everyone but. yeah #i just get pissed off at seeing people misrepresenting student bodies as “wealthy” and “privileged” and “elite” when it's such a blatant li #i remember a year ago a friend told me they can't fly home to hong kong for winter break because the plane tickets are too expensive #so they have to find temporary housing around the area #last quarter for a film doc class my film partner made a doc on a small group of marxist grad students from india discussing praxis #during a rally a few months ago in response to police presence the coalition invited palestinian students to speak about their experiences #and lead songs and read poems they wrote. these are STUDENTS. are they elitist too? #this is not to disregard my own personal privilege either. #this whole narrative's just to rationalize a lack of empathy to me. seeing a 19yo student get shot by a rubber bullet and your first #reaction is “HAW! HAW! bet richy rich didn't see THAT coming when she put on her terrorist hood!” #newsflash. these big uni campuses are HAUNTED by the violence of past protests and revolutions and police brutality. we know. #why do you think these coalitions have been making reinforced barricades at record speed

[lgbtlunaverse]

Most annoying NMJ or JC take is when someone that dislikes them is like "oh you're a fan of him? *scoff* Well obviously you've only seen cql, where he was super watered down. In the novel he's a dislikable asshole and that's the objectively superior canon I'm working from instead of your woobified fanfic." Meanwhile your main canon is novel canon and you genuinely find novel Jiang Cheng and Nie Mingjue complex sympathetic characters.

#complaining and whining about fandom #mdzs #cql #the untamed #nie mingjue #jiang cheng #WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO THEM #it's quite funny because in nmj's case i actually see shit from cql being carried over to novel canon to hate on him #for example my's treatment under the nie was explicitly much worse in cql because they transplanted the langya captain to qinghe #while the worst we see post-promotion in the novel is cultivators (WHO AREN'T EVEN NIE!) wiping ther teacups #(they're visiting from other clans like xichen. That's also why none of them had seen meng yao before.) #you can absolutely choose to interpret that worse things were happening to him at the hands of the nie off-page #it's definitely possible! but cql has people acting like it's objective canon #also the thing about empathy being inaccurate and biased in nmj's favor #that's another cql thing. in novel canon wwx can and does see things nmj does not notice (like the teacups!) #so even if he has some insight into nmj's thoughts and feelings it quite literally can't be showing things exclusively from his perspective #it was a pretty cool ceative decision from cql! gave us some very interesting character moments! #but sometimes i see people discuss the novel going 'and this was warped by nmj's bias i bet he was even worse in reality' girl wrong medium #in jiang cheng's case a lot of hate seems to be coming from the corner of cql!mains too #so clearly it can't be *that* big a difference in likability

[ranticore]

I gave up on editing and did this instead check it out. I had a rough time with the zeta because they kept getting too anthro dog-ish and I wanted them to read as primates. The one pictured there is a crew member on a whaling vessel (chef and lookout).

Image description and transcript of text below the cut:

[Figure 1 description: Front and side views of a zeta's face with the skull and external anatomy overlaid and separate. The skull is similar to a baboon's with massive broad fangs and a huge saggital crest on top for muscle attachment. Figure 2 description: a bar of colours ranging from dark brown, to reddish, to pale cream, to violet, to blue, to dark blue. Beneath it are several blue markings resembling a stylised 'A' or an arrow. Figure 3 description: a pair of zeta standing together. They are blue, brown, and cream in colour and wearing fancy black collars with dark tassels, and knuckle-guards to protect their feet. They have stocky muscular bodies and ape-like heads. One is propped up on their elbows over the back of the other, looking in a different direction.]

Text reads:

Terrestrial Zeta of Siren: Overview

Zeta are large quadrupedal mammals primarily found in the Eastern continent, the only area of significant continuous land. They are specialists at hunting and killing the local wildlife, most of which have strong chitinous shells and can be thought of as similar to millipedes or isopods. Zeta maxillary canines (1c) are the largest on Siren, laterally flattened and lacking sharp points, instead used to crush and split open the shells of their main prey, and they have huge saggital crests to support their jaw muscles. Zeta were formerly aquatic and still retain tail flukes and dense bones from that evolutionary era (3). They have a plantigrade, knuckle-walking locomotion and lack tongues. Zeta are marsupial and unisex.

Fig. 2 shows the coat colour variation. It is divided into red phase and blue phase shades. While most individuals have both phases, some are solely red or solely blue. Zeta are the only people on Siren who have naturally occurring blue pigments in their skin and hair, and blue eyes. The settlers who genetically engineered zeta also programmed in the logo of their megacorporation, which was a stylised blue letter 'A', which would appear like a tattoo from birth on the skin of zeta, formed of their own pigments. Over subsequent milennia, the logo has become indistinct and abstract, and the blue pigment is no longer limited to this particular marking, but found all over.

Kattakati

During the development of zeta, the genetic engineers wanted to produce a creature which would never have solidarity with a member of its own kind. They tampered with the brains of their creations, thinking that they had produced a creature with no sense of community, empathy, solidarity, or sympathy. In the intervening years zeta have developed a novel way to regain those traits, for their own survival. Early aquatic and terrestrial zeta developed a form of eusociality, viewing members of their pack as themselves, as limbs of one being, and over time this developed into the Dry Bowl practice of Kattakati pairing. This consists of a pair of zeta who have entered a binding agreement to consider one another a single being (3). Legally, socially, and culturally, a kattakati is one person. It has a single name and will not allow others to distinguish between its component bodies in any meaningful way, as they are supposed to be taken as a complete whole, together. It is frowned upon to consider the pair anything other than one guy. The two halves of a kattakati do not necessarily agree on all things, but this is not a contradiction; a person often thinks contradicting thoughts, and feels contradicting things. The nature of the bond is not platonic, romantic, or sexual, and a kattakati might make friends and date other people (you can't date just one half - you need to date the whole guy).

#told ya it was unethical #setting: siren #i know empathy is a charged word here but it's hard to discuss the effects of the GMO without falling back on it #they basically turned off the part of the brain that says We Live In A Society and a bunch of other stuff besides #is it scientific? no. i just wanted to explore what is necessary to reverse-engineer 'society' back into a population #speculative biology

[tequilaasquared]

God the fact that we were meant to fully take Fiona’s side during her whole ‘independent Fiona’ phase in s7 pisses me off. Asking the family that she CHOSE to become legal guardian of to put her at the bottom of their emergency contact lists, (underneath a couple with small children and a business who was unrelated to them, and their bipolar brother who had a super high pressure and high responsibility job) was completely unfair and irresponsible frankly. And doing it after she’d been called to Ian’s work as his emergency contact because he was clearly dealing with hypomania and his colleagues were concerned just felt like an extra twist of the knife. But I understood her reasoning to an extent.

But threatening to make her underage sister and her baby niece homeless because she was still pissed a traumatised 14 year old decided having a baby was the only way to become a part of a stable family environment? That was just plain cruel. Fiona didn’t have to be happy or agree with Debbie, and was well within her right to let Debbie know her disappointment and frustration, but she was still her legal guardian and she knew better! She was an adult and Debbie was a child being threatened with homelessness by the woman that raised her. Demanding Debbie get a job and getting her the application and Debbie following through and going to the interview, only for Fiona to actively sabotage it bringing Franny mid way through her interview was cruel and so unFiona like. Fiona was a grown ass 27 year old and should’ve sat Debbie down to communicate with her. I get that Debbie could be petulant and argumentative but she was a literal child! Fiona should’ve put her foot down and demand Debbie discuss with her how best to organise balancing work with childcare instead of offering zero support. She also lived with 3 brothers old enough to babysit Franny from time to time whilst Debbie worked. One of the overarching themes of Shameless was how the Gallaghers literally raised each other because their parents were awful human beings and you’re telling me Franny’s uncles couldn’t look after her for a few hours a week? It frustrates the shit out of me that the narrative successively villainised a young, impressionable girl because she made stupid decisions, influenced by grooming and the toxicity of her home life and her friends. And her following through with the decision to have a baby was further cemented by her sister’s cruel ultimatum and her only actual support at the time coming from her narcissistic, opportunistic father who used her vulnerability for his own gain.

Fiona was let down and emotionally neglected by Monica and she participated in that cycle of abuse with her pettiness towards Debbie. And I say that as someone whose favourite character for most of Shameless’ run was Fiona.

#shameless #fiona gallagher #debbie gallagher #shameless meta #Debbie Gallagher deserves better #fiona is literally in my top 3 shameless characters #but I HATE that she’s portrayed as being in the right for her treatment of Debbie #doing a shameless rewatch and realising I was right to quit halfway through s8 because post s7 was 90% ooc garbage #I could go on about how beloved characters in this series make stupid decisions and face the avoidable consequences #and yet there’s still collective compassion and empathy for them #but that’s a discussion for another day

[travalerray]

ideally what I want from MDZS is an epic length series telling me the details of the Sunshot Campaign (HOW DID JC BUILD THAT SECT UP FROM THE GROUND) and everything that happened in the 13 year gap (JGY and his time being the Chief Cultivator is something that can be very personal actually)

okay maybe what I ideally do want is something that delves into the nitty gritty details of the politics and the war in mdzs because I keep crying everytime I have to comprehend the insane amount of things that Just Happen in canon

#mdzs #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #mo dao zu shi #jiang cheng #jin guangyao #kk's rambles tag #where's that post that goes stanning jc and jgy is what happens when you get interested in the politics of mdzs #''yeah this guy just fucking raised a whole ass sect that was burnt to the ground in three months and ran around to search for his #shixiong. Yeah he managed to remake the sect into one of the four great sects'' HOW. TELL ME. I NEED THE POLITICAL INTRIGUE HERE #can you tell I was more interested in xiyao's watchtower discussion during the Empathy sequence and that my favorite extra is unsurprisingl #Villainous Friends

[uncanny-tranny]

In discussions about mental health, I am so tired of the only voices mattering being other people or other people who do not deal with a condition/disorder or a specific situation.

"Here's how I deal with loved ones with [x] condition!"

"If you do [y] because of [x mental health reason], you're selfish and everybody who loves you is having their lives made harder by you!"

"If your symptoms are [z], you're gross, and you deserve no sympathy for struggling"

I understand to an extent why people do this, but holy hell, as somebody who struggles and struggles often, the last thing any of us need to be told is that we're a burden that others have to carry. And it's terrible how everybody else's feelings but ours matter - even if we are the ones most affected by our condition or situation.

If you are dealing with issues surrounding your mental health and well-being, know that everything above isn't true; you are worthy of patience, understanding, kindness, and love. You are worthy of being listened to without judgment. You don't have to apologize or "make up" for who you are or what you struggle with.

#mental health #mental health advocacy #sanism #sanism tw #ableism #ableism tw #since when do we just go 'you're sick? well I'M more affected by YOUR illness than YOU are so my voice matters MORE' #i'm actually genuinely angry that people think saying stuff like that is appropriate #and when i say 'deal with' i mean when people treat those they say they love like a burden #simultaneously discussions about mental health have gotten better and have stay horrific and lack compassion or nuance #like people have more words to describe mental health but they cling to their disgust for us ~insanes~ like it's a lifeline #TW FOR MENTIONS OF SUIDIDE AFTER THIS TAG #when i actively wanted to take my life being told that i was selfish did NOT help. it made the desires STRONGER #because i had something ELSE to use to justify why my death was imperative. if i was selfish then why do i deserve others? #do you see why these discussions are harmful at *best* and can be the final factor in a decision like that? #sure. maybe those discussions alone won't be what pushes somebody to pass like that. #but it will have contributed to the demonization of mentally ill people #those discussions aren't going to save us from suicidality or something equally seen as drastic #videos like abigail thorn's cosmonaut video were actually way *more* helpful because she was compassionate #she provided compassion and empathy and was vulnerable enough to share her *own* experiences #i think i'm going to re-watch it for the....... 500th time #i'm so glad she kept her old videos up. this one is one of my favourites #heavy watch but i forever will be grateful to her and the others who helped me out of that pit

[egberts]

i no longer argue with people on facebook. it wasn't good for my mental health at all. instead i just drop my morally superior take and then laugh react when people try to argue and they get. so. mad.

#i feel im well within my rights to say my takes are typically morally superior because they're always valuing human time and life over all #no companies or polititics can blind me to raw human empathy but the way some people are so brainwashed hoo boy it's rough #also *vs the topic and discussion/argument at hand #im not out here on my moral high horse 24/7 but when McDonald's is planning on laying off employees and people are #bitching about the quality of fast food service instead of considering people are about to lose their livelihoods ? #yeah my opinion is better than theirs

[bunabi]

no because why are people acting like saying "hey don't say that about a white guy" is a dismissal of the entire Palestinian cause? I've not seen a single person say like, ok i'm not gonna support Palestine because of this, or that it takes away from aaron bushnell's message. just asking people not to say that. and i saw a whole page long post about how that's like a psyop. ??? people can care about multiple things.????

Well now I've definitely seen some people say/suggest well if you guys don't care about us why should we care about you both online and in person

But when you're told your words have no purpose and their meaning doesn't matter, when your allies dismiss your perspective the moment its inconvenient, of course you'd lose belief in solidarity

That feeling of disappointment and abandonment did not appear from thin air, and maybe one day we'll reckon with that

Not in my lifetime and definitely not tonight though so in the meantime my advice is everybody do this

#something something radical empathy something something Bulletproof Coffee is this anything #theres never a good time to discuss antiblackness in any movement so we kinda always end up back here; it does suck im ngl #me personally I still believe in building a coalition of many people #though ultimately imma fight for my happiness no matter who comes with me (and did) (and will) #replies

[tennessoui]

doctors need to do part of their residency at Starbucks or something they should not graduate before being tested in customer facing services roles ok I don’t need my doctor to have empathy for the human condition or whatever but I damn well need them to be able to fake it

#the dentist did not even look at me once #you have to look at me when you’re pointing out all the things wrong with my teeth #you cannot say my mouth is decaying!!! without looking at me as a human!!! #he was like I don’t like discussing pricing and I’m like you want me to shell out $5k for two root canals and three crowns we’re talking $ #I cannot have shown the woman who was upset that we were out of white mocha sauce more humanity and empathy than this doctor did #about procedures that will give me pain!! and cost so much money ??? #he’s like idk if I’ll be able to save this tooth and I’m like idk the color #of your eyes?? look at me ??

[paradizetobefound]

The thing about the seeds and soil is that if people in the abbey already had prejudice against sarkaz, could this kind of soil grow seeds of true unity? Would any of these people have accepted a group of sarkaz led by a mercenary if they were not despairing? One of the liberi folks accused, that the sarkaz took no part in their religion and thus remained outsiders, but can religion of Laterano accept them if Laterano itself is built on rejection of Sarkaz? And can it be truly said that they were accepted if they remained apart? So was the abbey doomed from the start?

Yet it fell apart because it could not support itself, but can Laterano support itself? Do we know if it doesn't rely on the rest of the world to feed its happiness? Can we say that the paradize was false just because it fell apart? The 'paradize' of Abbey is not same as 'paradize' of Laterano, the 'paradize' of Laterano exists in its opposition. Which one is true? Do any of them have to be real?

The thing is, I do not think it matters if any of these paradizes are real or fake. I think what matters is that the people sought them and that they did their best to preserve them. I think it matters is that the people of Laterano themselves, without any input from their God, might be willing to burn the world if it means preserving their dream of Laterano, if such choice ever arises. Just the same as that within the heart of Clement there was a decision to burn the Abbey down so that it would never wake up from its dream.

#Arknights #ramblings #very incoherent #I am still ironing out my thoughts but like #I think a great point can be made about how despite seaborn being seemingly an escape from the dilemma of hortus yet what allows #Hyman to regain her cognitive abilities was seeing her family for one last time before leaving forever #It can be also said again and again how the hive mind empathy is treated as a panaceia solution to understanding by sankta and yet #What we see is what we see but tis is a discussion held back when the guiding ahead was aired #Like man

[eclaire-went-bam]

ppl, especially low/no-empathy ppl, who talk to ableist anti-pd cluster b abuse believers with the upmost patience & understanding are so crazy (/pos) for that because what

how do y'all sit there and level w/ them just. so much.

i know it's kind of necessary bcs even if they don't listen to us anyways, they're only gonna think we're 10× worse if we don't walk them through the spiel w/ hands held (which we're not even owed to do anyways) but like i can hardly see myself doing it

so like

respect

#y'all should be honoured y'all got My respect specifically .... /silly #cluster b #tw ableism #npd #bpd #aspd #hpd #narcissistic personality disorder #borderline personality disorder #antisocial personality disorder #histrionic personality disorder #low empathy #no empathy #narc abuse #obligatory Is Not Real #maybe i could do it ?? i tried to level before when explaining it to ppl on a different app but even then i was still kinda pointed #but it'd be exhausting. #i'm gonna be honest i think most of these sorta posts or replies are mostly for Our community anyways since #i don't think i've Ever seen anyone change their stance on this no matter how it's conveyed #so i'm sure people go into these discussions knowing that too #i mean if anyone does have any examples feel free to tell. Curious #but yea i guess a lotta ableists have those same self-insulated type of beliefs as your average conspiracy #“anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong for x y & z reasons. if they say literally anything contrary to this they're trying to team up & #manipulate you. these people whom you have never interacted with in your life prior to this. they're in kahoots w ur abuser to validate the #abuse. just trust me on this bro“ type stuff #“don't trust pw/pds bcs they're pw/pds” circular reasoning #didn't mean to basically type something that could be a whole new post in the tags but like whatevs

[system-of-a-feather]

Question I might expand on if I have time and interest later, but open to anyone reading to add their two cents. We have basically no empathy (affect, we do have cognitive empathy) and we also have low innate social drive / desire to be liked / drive to fit in or be part of a group.

A thing I realized is we also just don't understand the concept of self esteem or really shame either - at least not in the standard way people seem to talk about it and at least not in the binary "good or bad" / "high or low" way of discussing self esteem.

Those that experience and feel like they understand this more, do you think empathy and/or social drive play a role in the development and internal experience of self esteem?

Just some thoughts.

#alter: xiv #discussion #open mic #self esteem #empathy #no empathy #low social drive #szpd #autism #actually autistic

[seventeendeer]

had to block someone I've been following for a While over this, so this is a reminder that if you make fun of "puriteens" or anyone else seeing fucked up horrible shit online and not magically handling it with perfect grace, I do want to put you down like a lame horse. go away

#deerchatter #negativity cw #there are a lot of nuanced discussions to be had about this topic #but none of them start with making fun of an entire generation of people who got Fucked Up from toxic online environments #this is not an appropriate arena for bad faith infighting. im so tired man #learn to approach your fellow human beings with empathy or get run over by my big truck idc anymore just fuck off

[outlying-hyppocrate]

PSYCHOTIC, ANOREXIC! INTRUSIVE, DEPRESSIVE! OBSESSIVE AND COMPULSIVE! HISTRIONIC AND DEPENDENT! BORDERLINE, ASOCIAL! SADISTIC, AGGRESSIVE! PARANOID, NARCISSISTIC, SCHIZOTYPAL, MASOCHISTIC, EMPATHETIC, APATHETIC OR JUST PATHETIC!

#random thoughts #me when. we have a presentation on mental health. and the people begin to speculate. #among the things discussed. psychosis. anorexia (specifically? no mention of other eating disorders for whatever reason) intrusive thoughts #depression. obsessive-compulsive disorder. histrionic personality disorder. dependent personality disorder. #borderline personality disorder. antisocial personality disorder. sadism. aggressivity. #paranoid personality disorder. narcissistic personality disorder. schizotypal personality disorder. masochism. #empathy. apathy. and then. the simple idea of feeling pathetic.

[phantomoftheorpheum]

concerning Hetty

I know Hetty isn't really an aspect of the show I have addressed before, largely because I've been focused on Jack & Belle and Jack & Fagin, but I did want to share a thought. Obviously it is heavily implied that Hetty is in love with Jack (which he does not seem to even notice, much less reciprocate), and as sad as that is for her character (she's just like a genuinely good person who has done nothing wrong, just not been the right person at the right time), I think there is one particular phrasing in all of this that has kept me from feeling too crushed for her.

When she talks to Jack about love, she tells him, "You've never really loved anyone, have you? You peel the skin off your heart and it always hurts, no matter what you do," and the implication of this is very much, imo, that Hetty has loved (romantically) before Jack, and not only does she have the capacity to love again after him, she already knows this about herself, too. Jack being someone Hetty falls in love with, but not her first love, and very easily not her last, is a comfort, imo. She obviously isn't at peace with her feelings for Jack yet, but she absolutely feels like a character that can and will get over him, and that makes me feel happy for her, because not everyone is like that.

Some people really never do get over their first love, but I believe Hetty already has long before she met Jack, and I believe she absolutely will do so again with him as well, that one day she will look back at her love for Jack as a distant memory of her youth, nothing less, nothing more. That's how I choose to interpret her words, and since we're unlikely to ever get any concrete confirmation on this particular topic, that's how I'm going to continue to look at her character- someone strong enough and kind enough to have several beautiful loves pass through her life and still be open to loving again.

#hetty baggett #the artful dodger #the artful dodger spoilers #hetty x jack #kind of- just discussions of #i have a lot of empathy for hetty because i feel like i've been her #been not the right person at the right time for someone who i thought was the right person for me #and it does suck #but she just strikes me very much as someone who won't get caught up in the gravity of a broken heart #idk who will read this or if anyone else has been thinking about this #also i took my sleep meds before I started writing and something I wake up thinking 'wtf did i do' but i don't think this will be like that #mine #td