#emotional repression

[grandtimetravelchaos]

I live for the idea that as Jason got older and was more exposed to camp half blood and the Greeks in genral his hardened Roman exterior began to crack and as a result of that not only did he start to get more visibly emotional but he lost a lot of control over his own powers.

His control over lightning and flying was so tied up in his ability to suppress his emotions that once those walls came down so did his ability to not randomly start floating or accidently start a thunderstorm.

It's genuinely terrify not just for him but everyone around him. Suddenly no one knows if the next time they bump into him they'll be electrocuted so they all keep a safe distance.

It also doesn't help that when he's first starting to really feel his emotions it takes the form of sudden breakdowns or lashing out. The last Roman thing he knows to fall back on is violence so in the beginning his negative emotions are often accompanied by rather aggressive behaviour despite his own dislike of the reaction.

#jason grace #camp half blood #camp jupiter #heroes of olympus #Jason Grace didn't die #emotional repression

[healingchildhoodtrauma]

“Feelings buried alive never die.”

Karol Truman

#inner child healing #reparenting #narcissistic abuse #healing from abuse #self expression #authenticity #the body keeps the score #scapegoat child #emotional suppression #emotional repression #fear programming #control tactics #control programming

[unidentifiedprimate]

Let's talk about emotional repression in the Vorta!

The Vorta smile and laugh a lot. Weyoun, the Vorta we spend the most time with, is almost constantly smiling. But his smiles almost never correlate with his actual emotions; these are customer service smiles. Politician smiles. They are practiced, calculated expressions.

Tekeny Ghemor looks Weyoun right in the eyes as he tells Dukat he betrayed their people to the Dominion, a word he nearly spits with disgust. Weyoun would have felt that. He loves the Dominon more than his own life, and yet his expression doesn't show a hint of displeasure.

It seems that the worse he is insulted, the bigger his smile gets.

But there are real feelings underneath. It's clear that emotion hasn't been completely removed from the Vorta's genetic code, because occasionally real emotion does bleed through. And those are the moments I love, because it's like peeking behind a curtain.

Besides Weyoun, we rarely get to see other Vorta operate. When we meet Kilana, she is faced with an extremely important yet delicate task - to save a dying Founder without letting the Federation get their hands on them. She can't afford to trust Sisko, so she is forced to fall back on her diplomatic training. Disguise her real feelings, smile, put the opposition at ease, and get what she wants without giving anything away.

But it's clear that she is feeling the strain. You can see her fear bleeding through at points. She has real feelings, she just isn't allowing herself to show them. This is likely the most stressful thing she has ever done in any iteration, and yet she is still able to put on an impressive front.

The fact that both Weyoun and Kilana are so skilled at hiding their emotions makes it likely that the Vorta are specifically trained to do this.

With Weyoun, there are moments were you can SEE his training kick in. At one point, he allows himself to forget about his duties and has some fun at the dabo table. He is genuinely happy to the point where he is bouncing and stimming with excitment.

But the fun is cut short when Sisko arrives with a bottle of poisoned wine that had clearly been sent by Dukat. Weyoun, still full of energy, has to pull that all in and press it down. You can watch it happen - his body language closes up and he becomes very still.

He does still get to have a little genuine fun by drinking the poison in front of Dukat and Sisko. The conversation gets to a point where someone might say something damaging if the tension isn't broken, so he breaks it.

Hiding real anger is harder. When Sisko outright refuses to take down the minefield that blocks Dominion ships from coming through the wormhole, Weyoun is actually, sincerely mad about it.

Of course, Sisko doesn't react well to aggression, and Weyoun has to swallow those feelings and put the mask back on.

It only takes a moment, and all his true feelings are wiped away. He's calm and smiling again.

Even when Weyoun does lose his temper, he holds back. The Federation breaks through their lines, Dukat's plan is falling apart, Weyoun feels he's failing in front of his God, and he gives the biggest display of pure emotion we ever see - which is just a light slap of his hand on the table, immediately followed by a self-regulating clasping of his hands behind his back.

It's not much of a tantrum, but for a Vorta he might as well be screaming.

At another point, Weyoun 5 gets lost in thought when presented with some art he can't understand. He talks to Kira about it almost as if she's a friend,

and then has to snap himself out it when he realizes he is actually being vulnerable.

It's also with Kira that Weyoun lets some of his insecurities regarding Odo slip out. He stops her to ask about him,

and you can see his anxiety in the little crease between his eyebrows, the slight sigh he makes before asking his question. This is about what a God thinks of him. He can't quite hide his true feelings.

Kira asks why Weyoun doesn't just talk to Odo directly, and he's so surprised you can see real fear in his eyes. Then he quickly composes himself and masks again,

only dropping it when she's out of sight.

These real emotional responses of the Vorta are much more subtle than their performative ones. They are usually just a twitch of the mouth, a slight crease in the brow, or tension in the neck. Vorta aren't supposed to show their true emotions, so they are kept small.

Real fear

Real happiness

The Vorta, and especially Weyoun, are fascinating characters. I can't finish this without acknowledging that it's Jeffrey Combs' amazingly subtle acting that brings all of this to life. Very little is actually spelled out for us about what life is like for the Vorta, but so much can be inferred from the way he holds himself and the tiny facial expressions he makes. All of it paints a picture of a species that is strictly conditioned to hide their true feelings and only show what is useful to them in the performance of their duty. It's only in those moments when the mask slips that their real selves are visible.

#vorta #emotional repression #hi im talking about the vorta again #there is so much more i want to say about this but the words won't come #deep space 9 #jeffrey combs

[lavideenrose]

When children feel pervasively angry or guilty or are chronically frightened about being abandoned, they have come by such feelings honestly; that is because of experience. When children are filled with rage, it is due to rejection or harsh treatment. When children experience intense inner conflict regarding their angry feelings, this is likely because expressing them may be forbidden or even dangerous. When children must disown powerful experiences they have, this creates serious problems including ‘chronic distrust of other people, inhibition of curiosity, distrust of their own senses and the tendency to find everything unreal.’ The long term effects of brutalization and neglect in caregiving relationships are the body and brain experiencing PTSD.

From The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

#quote #the body keeps the score #trauma #depression #anxiety #anger #guilt #fear #abandonment #they have come by such feelings honestly #disowning powerful experiences creates serious problems #repression #emotional repression #neglect #emotional neglect #ptsd #caregiving

[emerald9d]

also when Handler Walter says:

"Gen Fours can be emotionally widthdrawn. They need a shot in the arm every now and then."

it seriously hit something deep within me. yes mechdaddy give my repressed ass some enrichment activities

#the enrichment activities are serial explosion murder #with friends! #armored core #armored core 6 #emerald9d #repression #emotional repression #repressed emotions #we're going through it kids

[kellymagovern]

In this video, Osho says that Christianity is the most repressive religion in the world, but I think Islam has taken that title now. Certainly, all the Abrahamic religions are highly repressive. In fact, I have yet to see any organized religion that allows for free thought and expression. [x]

#Osho #repression #suppression #emotional repression #emotional suppression #repress #suppress #psychology #wisdom #spirituality #awakening #consciousness #awareness #Sigmund Freud #Carl Jung #Carl Gustav Jung #Alfred Adler #Christianity #religion #video

[petrichalia]

It's been nearly a fortnight since we've seen each other and the "miss you" messages and scotch tape excuses aren't enough anymore. Love transcends exhaustion and the machinations of the capitalist work world. "Chewed up and spit out" isn't a reasonable excuse for losing out on a kiss from a lover's sweet lips.

Other excuses make sense. Let me craft them for you: a steady lover at home, perhaps legally bound. A desire to engage in carnal pleasures at your leisure with no recourse for failing to hit the emotional mark. A deep-seated fear of true connection manifesting in keeping those who care at arms length, thereby locking yourself in a sterile metal castle. You, science man, have the disease that cannot be burned away. The endospore withstands the heat and proceeds to infect your brain. You weren't meant to survive this without killing a part of yourself. So you do. You did. Long ago castrating the part of you that laughed from the belly, that marveled at nature without making bitter comparison, the part that wrote poetry and felt it. You killed it and live now alone and cold. Sleeping on a barren bed and listening to your own naked voice as it echos and keeps you company.

Or maybe you're really just tired. You tell me, lover.

#poetry #emotional repression

[princessinyellow]

The gems can’t cry, with Shinsha and Phos being exceptions that prove the rule. There are lore explanations for this, but also I feel it was done to give them an air of emotional repression (especially Cairngorm, who behaved in all ways EXACTLY like an egg pre-moon).

Because that’s a big problem in today’s society, which overly values being stoic. So many people don’t express their suffering, instead just holding it all in until it breaks them.

#HNK #Houseki No Kuni #Cairngorm #HNK Cairngorm #Cairngorm Cairngorm Cairngorm #Shinsha #Cinnabar #HNK Cinnabar #HNK spoilers #spoilers #Phos #HNK Phos #Phosphophyllite #emotional repression #sometimes canon can contradict the emotional response to art #in such cases I would rather favor the feeling being created

[rajdooot]

do you "never get angry" or do you get angry in private so that you can pretend you're fine when you're in public

#anger management #hiding emotions #private anger #public facade #keeping it together #emotional struggles #suppressing anger #inner turmoil #pretending to be okay #hidden frustration #emotional masks #bottled up anger #emotional repression #concealing emotions #anger behind closed doors #masking feelings #internalized anger #self-control #emotional balance #struggling silently #i generated these tags using the ai thing lmao

[dysphoric-culture-is]

Dysphoric culture is be used to being misgender by everyone and suppress your dysphoria so you can try to cope with your daily life.

Dysphoric culture is!

Also, are you closeted or do you just get misgendered at lot? Either way that sucks, and mod has also gotten numb to a certain family member's deadnaming (but it still hurts) so mod gets it. Suppressing emotions and dysphoria isn't good in the long run so hopefully you get into a better situation anon!

#hate hate hate numbness and 'getting used too' deadnaming and misgendering over prolonged periods of time #it will mess you up long term and really can wreck your sense of self-confidence/value #because you stop advocating for yourself and sometimes internalize that you don't deserve better #dysphoria tw #gender dysphoria #dysphoria #dysphoric culture is #misgendering tw #deadnaming tw #family tw #emotional repression #dysphoria repression #<--- is that a term? #trans #lgbtq #lgbt+ #queer

[foggyeyed]

I brushed it off as a passing thought,

As if it wasn't the thing that killed me.

#original poetry #original poem #original writing #poem #poetry #quotes #emotional repression

[dkniade]

warning: headcanons about abusive parent, emotional repression

I’m just speculating without knowing too much about the canon backstory here but might Albedo be emotionally repressed (he’s not very emotional, after all, and uses logic and observation above all else) because Rhinedottir didn’t want an emotional homunculus and abused him by being so strict or harsh that he is subconsciously conditioned to think that showing emotion is either a sign of weakness or a dangerous thing? (“Dangerous”? Might his “If one day I lose control…” be about losing control… of his emotions??)

#dusk rambles #albedo #albedo kreideprinz #Rhinedottir #abusive parent #emotional repression #emotional abuse #wait isn’t being emotional Scaramouche/Wanderer’s whole thing and ‘flaw’

[lavideenrose]

Do not despise your inner world. That is the first and most general piece of advice I would offer… Our society is very outward-looking, very taken up with the latest new object, the latest piece of gossip, the latest opportunity for self-assertion and status. But we all begin our lives as helpless babies, dependent on others for comfort, food, and survival itself. And even though we develop a degree of mastery and independence, we always remain alarmingly weak and incomplete, dependent on others and on an uncertain world for whatever we are able to achieve. As we grow, we all develop a wide range of emotions responding to this predicament: fear that bad things will happen and that we will be powerless to ward them off; love for those who help and support us; grief when a loved one is lost; hope for good things in the future; anger when someone else damages something we care about. Our emotional life maps our incompleteness: A creature without any needs would never have reasons for fear, or grief, or hope, or anger. But for that very reason we are often ashamed of our emotions, and of the relations of need and dependency bound up with them. Perhaps males, in our society, are especially likely to be ashamed of being incomplete and dependent, because a dominant image of masculinity tells them that they should be self-sufficient and dominant. So people flee from their inner world of feeling, and from articulate mastery of their own emotional experiences. The current psychological literature on the life of boys in America indicates that a large proportion of boys are quite unable to talk about how they feel and how others feel — because they have learned to be ashamed of feelings and needs, and to push them underground. But that means that they don’t know how to deal with their own emotions, or to communicate them to others. When they are frightened, they don’t know how to say it, or even to become fully aware of it. Often they turn their own fear into aggression. Often, too, this lack of a rich inner life catapults them into depression in later life. We are all going to encounter illness, loss, and aging, and we’re not well prepared for these inevitable events by a culture that directs us to think of externals only, and to measure ourselves in terms of our possessions of externals. What is the remedy of these ills? A kind of self-love that does not shrink from the needy and incomplete parts of the self, but accepts those with interest and curiosity, and tries to develop a language with which to talk about needs and feelings. Storytelling plays a big role in the process of development. As we tell stories about the lives of others, we learn how to imagine what another creature might feel in response to various events. At the same time, we identify with the other creature and learn something about ourselves. As we grow older, we encounter more and more complex stories — in literature, film, visual art, music — that give us a richer and more subtle grasp of human emotions and of our own inner world. So my second piece of advice, closely related to the first, is: Read a lot of stories, listen to a lot of music, and think about what the stories you encounter mean for your own life and lives of those you love. In that way, you will not be alone with an empty self; you will have a newly rich life with yourself, and enhanced possibilities of real communication with others.

Martha Nussbaum

#quote #philosophy #advice #cultivate a rich inner world #cultivate self-love #read a lot of stories #emotions #emotional repression #toxic masculinity #patriarchy #do not despise your inner world #incompleteness #dependency #individualism #depression #anxiety

[age-of-wonderbeasts]

me, wondering why I find it so hard to express emotions in front of others.

my mother when I cry:

"you're just escalating the situation"

"Oh shut up"

"yeah go and have a cry we haven't done that for a while have we"

"you've no reason to cry"

"why are you crying now"

#mommy issues #i think she hates me #emotions #autistic #autism #emotional repression #narcissism #help

[regenderate-fic]

When I Run Away (You're Who I Run To): Epilogue

main post read on ao3

Word Count (Chapter): 1,190

NOTES: sorry to make you all wait so long for this… but behold! epilogue!

this is by far the longest fic i've ever finished, so thank you to everyone who's read this far <3 it's been really fun to see people's responses every week, and i hope you like this as an attempt to tie it all up.

i have a bunch of other ideas in the works, too, although some of them are pretty far off from this! but keep an eye out if you want to see the roseyazclara disaster throuple fic OR the tenrose figure skating au <3

UPDATE: I (30F) might be in love with my roommate (29F). What am I supposed to do? - u/throwRAjustgoodfriends

Okay, I’m mostly here because everyone else involved thought it would be funny to see the responses. If you don’t remember my last post, basically I thought I was straight but had just realized I had a thing for my best friend (“Lily”).

First of all, there’s not much point in the pseudonym, considering the “friend” whose place we were staying at (hi, Penny) found the post and figured out who I was talking about right away. So I’ll just call her Rose, considering that’s her name.

Second of all, thanks to whoever crossposted to Instagram, because Rose doesn’t use Reddit. But she saw it on Instagram, and long story short, everyone was right. She was totally into me, had been for years, and I can’t believe I didn’t see it sooner. (Rose and Penny both want to “enter into the record” that *they* can believe it.) Not much about our relationship has changed, to be honest, but it feels really great to finally understand how I feel. And the extra cuddling isn’t half bad, either.

That’s not where it ends, either. Somehow I’ve gone from someone who couldn’t admit I was into women to someone who has two girlfriends? We’d been spending a lot of time with Penny (she owns the shop across the street, and she was going through a rough time), and I suppose you might say one thing led to another.

All of this is to say that everything in my life has gotten much better in the last six months. I didn’t really realize this was possible when I posted. Thank you to everyone who commented on the first post, but especially Penny, of course. And if you’re ever in London, check out Bad Wolf Body Shop (and TARDIS Bakery)! 

Yaz leaned back, lifting her hands from the keyboard. “Good?” she asked.

Rose and Penny leaned in on either side of her, scanning the words on the screen. Rose nodded, but Penny gave her a sidelong look. “Where’s the bit about how incredibly sexy your newest girlfriend is?”

Yaz rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I’m posting.” 

“No, wait!” 

But it was too late: Yaz had hit the post button. She wrapped an arm around Penny’s shoulders until Penny fell across her lap, displacing the laptop—fortunately, Rose had the presence of mind to move it to the coffee table before leaning her head on Yaz’s shoulder with a contented sigh. Yaz smiled. 

“Time for bed?” she asked. 

They were still all piling into Rose’s bed most nights, even though the necessity was no longer there—Ace had gone and filled one of the rooms in Bill’s flat after one of Bill’s roommates broke their lease. She still came over most afternoons, of course, but she slept somewhere else, and theoretically Yaz could’ve slept in her bed again. In practice, though, she’d gotten used to sharing a too-small bed with Rose and Penny, and then Rose had caved and found them a bigger bed. So tonight, they sprawled out, one of Yaz’s arms flung across Penny, brushing against Rose’s side, and one of Penny’s legs slung over Yaz’s hip. Yaz pulled the blanket up to her chin, reveling in the knowledge that not only was she sitting in such coziness, but she was used to it. She borderline took it for granted. 

She fell asleep quickly, and woke up slowly. She blinked open her eyes and turned her head to see the summer sun, shining through the curtains, turning Rose’s hair gold. Penny was gone already: she’d gone back to her full time hours a couple months ago, and on days she worked she was out of bed first. Sometimes Yaz would wake up to her alarm, and she’d give Penny a bleary kiss before rolling over and falling back asleep; today, though, she’d missed it. 

She checked the time on her phone. There were five minutes before her own alarm went off. That was the best sort of morning. It meant Yaz could roll over, cuddle up next to Rose, and shut her eyes again for just a little longer. 

Her alarm went off, and Yaz sat up. She poked at Rose and laughed when Rose batted her away.

“Get up so we can get coffee,” she said. 

Rose groaned, but she pushed herself up on her elbows. “Fine.”

Ace was behind the counter when they came in. Her jacket had a new patch, Yaz noticed, a cartoonish “BOOM!” design. 

“D’you like it?” Ace asked, looking down at the patch. “Bill gave it to me. Said she had an extra.” She turned her grin on Yaz and Rose. “Penny’s in the back.”

“I’m where?” Penny had appeared in the doorway, balancing a tray of muffins on the hand not holding her cane. When she saw Yaz and Rose, her confused expression turned to a wild grin. “Oh! You’re here! D’you want a muffin?”

“Pretty sure you’re supposed to sell those,” Yaz pointed out.

Penny rolled her eyes. “Fine. D’you want to buy a muffin?”

“Dunno,” Rose said. “What’s in ‘em?” 

“Chocolate, mostly,” Penny said. “Bit of cinnamon, for the kick. Ace mixed the batter.”

“Yeah, all right,” Rose decided. 

Penny grinned. She slid the tray into the display case before using tongs to pluck a muffin off it. Before she could drop it into a bag, she looked up at Yaz. “Yaz? One for you?”

“Okay.” 

Penny put two muffins into the bag and slid it across the counter, and then she came around the counter herself to plant a kiss on each of their cheeks. 

“Good service around here,” Yaz noted, barely suppressing her grin.

“Only the best,” Penny promised. “See you later?”

Yaz and Rose both nodded. And Penny made good on the promise: that afternoon, Yaz finished a tattoo and walked out into the waiting room with her client to see Penny sprawled across three seats, trying to convince Amy that brightly colored feathers were going to be the new fashion trend. 

“Maybe for you,” Yaz said, tapping at Penny’s legs until she swung them to the floor, leaving room for Yaz to sit down. “I think I’ll be keeping my wardrobe feather-free.”

Rose’s head popped into the room. “Oh, are we having a party?”

“You’ve got a client in fifteen minutes,” Amy told her.

“That’s loads of time,” Rose replied. She sat herself down on Yaz’s lap, just like she always had—only now she was in the habit of slinging her arm around Penny’s shoulders, too, which always made Yaz feel like she had fit herself snugly into a three-person puzzle. It was strange: Yaz’s life had only been like this for six months, but somehow it felt like the only way it had ever been, the only way it could be. Here, in her shop, with the people she loved. 

She let her head rest on Penny’s shoulder, let her arm tighten around Rose’s waist, and felt a smile sneak onto her face. If she was lucky, she thought, she would have this forever.

#doctor who #my fic #fanfiction #when i run away (you're who i run to) #thirteenth doctor #rose tyler #yasmin khan #thirteenrose #thirteen x rose #doctorrose #thasmin #thirteen x yaz #yaz x rose #thirteen x yaz x rose #human au #fluff #slow burn #friends to lovers #polyamory #emotional repression #found family #disabled character #trans character #autistic characters #coming out #roommates #pre-relationship #developing relationship #chaptered

[lizarin]

People are just.. absolutely exhausting. It’s like half the people around you are speaking a different language, but you don’t know it’s a different language, because all the words are the same; but the pretenses and subtexts aren’t. You can’t tell people how you really feel, or your thoughts, because that’s not kosher and they’ll look at you weird and resent you, but you can’t connect with people the same way everyone else does because small talk and such seems frivolous, pointless and meaningless,  and you’re left feeling entirely alone, even when surrounded by people.

And so when you’re struggling, working on processing something, feelings, regrets, you don’t (can’t?) trust people to talk about it, because in the past whenever you’ve opened up about something you care about it’s been thrown right back in your face. For being silly or juvenile or wrong for your gender or   just.. wrong.

So you clutch and grasp at tiny threads of emotional intimacy, wanting more, desperately wanting, but you can’t have more, but also can’t give more, because you’ve been told all your life your whole everything is “too much” and other people can’t handle it. You’re left alone and unmoored and isolated and struggling and no one can tell because you’ve been doing this so goddamn long that no one knows any different, yourself included.

#Probably autistic #Actually ADHD #actually neurodivergent #emotional repression #emotional regulation #personal