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#dont tell him i think his poetry is bad. most of it really isnt but sometimes he just...hm.
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How would Karamatsu describe your relationship to others? :0
Oh god- okay so. Kara is very. He's...well. The way he explains anything to anyone is kind of painful. And I love it! Obviously otherwise I wouldn't be married to the guy fhehfhdh but sometimes.
I think he'd describe our relationship as...a beautiful spring flower. Something that feels so new and is so beautiful everytime we interact- something he longs for during harsh winters [when I am working] but something he appreciates so much during spring and summer [when I am home]
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1-800-c0sm1c · 2 years
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꒰crossteaming pt.2 !꒱
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genshin characters as your streamer bf/gf !
character x gn!reader
includes kazuha, venti, itto, thoma, and shenhe!
warnings : none.
a/n : thank you for all the notes on the 1st part , much appreciated <3
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KAZUHA - THE GEOGUESSER PRO
of course the wanted criminal knows all about geography. (and poetry of course too, but well get to that later)
doesnt matter where in the world he is plopped down in, kazuha knows exactly where he is, and hes quick about it too.
competes in geoguessr tournaments too and often wins with ease.
hes the type to do google maps speedruns as well, and none of his friends are nearly as good as he is.
if youre ever lost somewhere, just send kazuha a pick of your surroundings on twitter, and hes sure to find your cross streets soon enough!
“you said how i got your address…? dont even worry about that bro.”
youre literally just there to distract kazuha, if im being entirely honest.
oh, hes 1 guess away from a 50 state streak ? not if you can do anything about it. especially if he had a penalty set up for getting answers wrong.
he has called you a pest multiple times, but its out of love <3 i dont genuinely think he could ever get mad at you for real, hes very calm all the time.
he also likes to share poetry! on the days you (lovingly) annoy him he likes to write funky lil haikus about how annoying you are <3 isnt that sweet?
what can i say, hes a funny little jokester, at least on camera. when its just the two of you alone hes a lot more romantic, i promise.
“shall i compare thee to a summers day? no, a summers day is not a bitch.”
VENTI - THE GENSHIN STREAMER
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pretend for a second that hes not a character in the game, or even better yet, he voice acts one of the characters. venti never shuts up about how good his team comp is and how he always manages to get the characters he wants. (secretly hes just spending a LOT of money.)
character build reviews but hes actually pretty nice about it! sometimes there will be a build that he cannot physically say anything good about and its entertaining, so chat started sending in builds that were purposely bad just to get reactions out of him LMAO.
adventure rank 60, no doubt about it.
the most annoying co-op player. oh you wanted to be that character? too bad, now hes going to play them and hes got a better build too, guess you should switch <3
SOOO many unfinished quests yet he complains he has nothing to do. (guilty)
“go touch grass? im a genshin player… what is that supposed to mean?”
venti loves telling the story of how you two met in genshin co-op. you on the other hand.. well you wish he would stop talking about it every stream you appear in.
lots of streams together! he wont wish for a character without you, he claims youre his good luck charm. (he loses most of the 50/50s.)
will help you do any quest! as long as he wants to, and its one that he knows how to do. so maybe not ANY quest, but hes trying his best.
he may be annoying with strangers in co-op domains, but any character you want to play you can. no questions asked, hell switch immediately.
he does more damage than you but hell still say that you did all the hard work and hes proud of you <3
ITTO - THE FORTNITE STREAMER
“wow you did so much damage just now, you absolutely carried me! thank you, i love you. :)”
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the best part about itto being a fortnite streamer is hes not even good at the game.
he tries his best, really he does. but somehow those cracked 12 year olds have got him beat.
has spent an embarrassing amount of money on the game, but you can tell how much he appreciates every item hes acquired.
plugs his creator code CONSTANTLY. hes gotta make that money hes spent back somehow!
whenever he has a really bad loss he just blames it on stream sniping because he can. yeah i basically turned him into ninja, whoops!
“oh my god bro again? you know what, reported for stream sniping!”
you and itto are truly a dynamic duo. youre actually decent at the game and hes entertaining to watch.
chat loves when you play duos games together, and you both do too! (even though hell take all the credit if you win.)
his favorite item is the chug cannon, mostly because he wants to make sure youre full health and shield at all times <3
has made many sacrifices of his characters life in you honor, even if you still dont end up winning, you appreciate it.
lots of moments from his streams have been clipped and put into funny moments montages and they all go straight to his neverending ego.
“we are the clowns and you all have front row seats to the circus.”
THOMA - THE VARIETY STREAMER
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i couldnt see thoma sticking to one main category, i feel like every stream hes doing something new, and hes somehow pretty good at anything he tries out.
his commentary is really what gets people to stick around for his content, he can make anything sound interesting.
think of him as a steamer like rtgame! hes got really fun sims and hitman series, games you dont think could be made funny, but then he does and its overall a really great time.
hes got so many inside jokes from all the games hes played, youve got to be there for every stream otherwise you miss out heavily.
nobody even knew what he looked like for awhile because he didnt have a facecam, but once he started using one his viewers went up by 100k, no joke.
“where is that from? oh, its an inside joke, you probably wouldnt get it.”
thomas viewers are literally so jealous of you. youve pulled the ultimate man right there.
honestly i dont see you appearing on his steams much other than for the occasional mario party game.
i feel like since you never really appear most of his viewers didnt even know you two were dating until those random streams happen. everytime it does twitter goes wild with “THOMA HAS A S/O?” and half the replies are also freaking out while the other half is like “you didnt know?” its a mess every time.
most likely youre in thomas chat instead of in the room, and you tend to instigate chat into spamming emotes a lot and getting it turned to sub only mode. its honestly pretty funny.
one time you walked into his room to ask if he wanted mcdonalds and he was watching paint dry. this had been going on for 4 hours. you didnt ask questions.
“the hoes gonna love this.”
SHENHE - THE CALL OF DUTY PLAYER
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i think call of duty lobbies are the only place on earth that can handle shenhe if shes genuinely angry.
shes a toxic gamer for sure, dont get on her bad side.
shes gotten pretty good at the game too, shes one of those people who buys the new game everytime one comes out instead of just playing the same version.
chongyun will make appearances at times, they played mario party together once and it was hilarious. (for the viewers at least, maybe not chongyun though LMAO)
chongyun won and she 1v1ed him in nuketown right afterwards. (hes never won against shenhe again)
“everybody gangsta til chongyun is in the lead.”
chat doesnt understand how you can handle shenhe half the times, but truthfully she just has her own way of expressing her emotions.
for example, she broke one of your controllers playing once, and she drove her ass to best buy at almost midnight to go get you a new one, along with a note saying nothing but “sorry :(“ in the prettiest handwriting youve ever seen.
sometimes you even make her angry on purpose just because its funny, and you know no matter how much it may look like it, she could never get mad at you.
i know i said shenhe was a cod streamer, but imagine also playing apex with her alright? definitely a loba main, and shes literally just as toxic on here as she is on call of duty. 
probably has had 3 xbox accounts banned already.
“no chat i am not saying slurs in general chat, this time at least.”
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toorumochi · 3 years
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Hello~ I created some KaruShuu Headcanons for you guys~ hope you enjoy ❤️🧡 (Questions ain’t mine, I just answered them) Also some of them are based off fanfics I have written/read.
Who rocks the Ferris Wheel seat and who flips out and begs them to stop?
KARMA IS A BITCH AND IS ROCKING THE FERRIS WHEEL SEAT WHILE SHUU IS HOLDING ONTO THE POLE FOR DEAR LIFE
Who is always horny and will have sex at any time, at any place and at any time?
Hm. Both. Lmao
Who is more into taking showers/baths together? Who tries to make it relaxing and who tries to make it sexy time?
Karma is the sexy time, always time and Shuu is the relaxing time one BUT. That doesn’t mean he isn’t playing along with Karma
Who likes to walk around the house naked and who tells the other to go put some clothes on?
Karma. Karma walks around at least half naked maybe some boxers - and it’s not like shuu doesn’t enjoy watching his manly man walking around the house beefy af and flexing his muscles without even trying but he still tells karma to put some clothes on
Who sleeps on the couch when they get into a fight?
I DONT CAREEE HOW SOFT THE ARGUMENT WAS. KARMA SLEEPS ON THE COUCH.
Who takes photos of the other while they sleep?
BOTH DO. BOTH DO TAKE PICS OF THE OTHER ONE AND THEY TEASE THEM WITH THE PICS LATER ON
Who said “I love you” first? and who ends their arguments in a fight with “Because I love you”?
I would say that Karma was the first one who said ‘I love you’ and the ‘bc I love you’ feels like smth Shuu would say
Who likes to wear the others sweatshirts?
Shuu likes to wear Karmas, and then:
“...shuu pls give me my clothes back I swear I have nothing to wear-“
Who wakes the other up in the middle of the night to tell them a cool dream they had? Who has the most nightmares, and who sings them back to sleep after?
Karma would be the one with cool dreams and wake Shuu up but since Shuu is a supporting bf/husband he will listen to him ❤️ and when it comes to nightmares, I would say that Shuu gets them but Karma is always there to comfort him ❤️❤️
Who is more likely to cheat?
No❤️ but if it’s in a video game- karma. He is a little bitc-
Who makes fun of the other for having a crush on them, and who has to remind them that they are in a relationship?
NDNSNSNSBD KARMA WOULD MAKE JOKES ABOUT IT LIKE
“Wait whattt??? You have a crush on me? Omggg stahp I’m blushing now”
“......Karma we are dating-“
Or better!
“What? Omg- really? You actually have a crush on me? Damn Shuu why didn’t you tell me”
“...Karma we are marrIED-“
Who starts a food fight in the kitchen?
Karma is a little bitch and he would start with maybe splashing some water onto Shuu and then Shuu turns to face him with a straight face “oh it’s on”
Who initiates duets? and who is the better singer?
Both initiate duets; anywhere and everywhere - and Shuu is the better singer. Karma sounds like a bitch
Who starts the hand holding? Who grabs the others butt? Who slides their arm around their waist? Who likes to put their fingers in the belt loops?
Hmmm maybe Karma would take it easy with the hand holding; like he would start taking Shuus hand when they are at home and when it comes to public he lets it be and waits for Shuu; cause if he is ready to hold hands, Karma is ready too.
GRABBING BUTTS- OMG PLS. KARMA. KARMA WOULD. AND AND HE WOULD TEASE SHUU ABOUT BEING HEAVIER THAT HE IS AND SAY THAT HIS ASS IS 4KG HEAVIER.
AND THE ARM SLIDING AROUND THE WAIST- *slams fist on the table* KARMA WOULD DO THIS ANYWHERE LITERALLY ANYWHERE.
AND THE BELT LOOPS- SHUU. SHUU WOULD THIS BUT LIKE HE WOULD DO IT AS A SIGN THAT HE IS UNCOMFORTABLE AND WANTS TO LEAVE SO HE SHOWS IT TO KARMA THAT WAY AND I THINK ITS ADORABLE.
Who likes to write the others name on their wrist?
Karma would doodle his own name on Shuus arm during study sessions or so ksksksks bonus: Shuu does NOT wash it off, when in the shower, he has this one hand stretched out so the water won’t touch the doodle.
Who is more seductive when they are drunk? and who is louder in bed?
Shuu. Both is Shuu. Pls.
Who is more protective?
Karma is pretty protective- but not in an obsessive way, more like taking care of Shuu and his health as well as his eating habits and sleep
Who talks to the other while they are sleeping?
Karma would just talk and talk till Shuu falls asleep but karma KEEPS ON TALKI-
Who drives and who has the window seat?
Karma drives bc he is the most terrain oriented and besides, Shuu likes to drink from time to time (like coming back from parties or so) so there is no way that a drunk Shuu at the steering wheel would survive.
Who falls asleep in the others lap and who carries them to bed?
Shuu would fall asleep in Karmas lap (DURING SHREK MARATHONSSS 🥴 Idk if anyone gets that but in my fanfics on Wattpad Karma is OBSESSED with Shrek lmao so Shrek marathons >>>) and Karma would carry him to bed.
Who cuts the others hair?
I would say Shuu would cut Karmas hair, pls he is perfect at everything. (.......except cooking and baking *clears throat*)
Who is super bad at sexting? and who sends them encouraging messages throughout the day?
Shuu is hella bad at sexting, but when he is drunk he is the god of flirting lmao
And the encouraging ones- hm... both djdjdjd
Who thinks they are not good enough for the others love? and who’s more afraid of loosing the other? Who thinks they keep messing up, only for the other to tell them they don’t need to worry?
AAAAAA NOOOO *war flashbacks: “You’re my Moron” fanfic ending II”*
Who starts random slow dancing with the other in the kitchen? Who holds the other just above the ground and kisses them?
KARMA KARMA KARMA WOULD. KARMA WOULD START TO RANDOMLY SLOW DANCE WITH SHUU IN THE KITCHEN AND THEN KISS HIM AAAAA
Who says shitty puns and sex jokes just to see the other giggle and blush?
KARMA DOES THIS IN THE MOST INAPPROPRIATE TIMES PLS
Who kissed first?
OH OH!!!
I think!!! That if maybe Karma was the first one to confess bc come on, Shuu has a reputation so yea, but when it comes to first kiss- Shuu would. Shuu would be the one who kisses Karma like totally randomly, maybe hanging out at each other houses and watching a movie and then Shuu leaNS IN AND KISSES HIM AAAAA-
Who orders take out at two in a morning? and who wakes the other up at three in the morning to go downstairs with them to get a glass of water because it’s too dark?
JDJSJSHS KARMA WOULD ORDER TAKE OUT BUT ONLY WHEN THEY ARE MAKING MOVIE MARATHONS AND THE FOOD RUNS OUT- AND THE THREE AM WATER GETTING IS SHUU BC HE IS JUST SCARED OF THE DARK YES.
Who writes poems/stories and love songs about the other? Do they sing the songs the write for them?
YES. THIS. SHUU WOULD. Since he plays many instruments, he finds himself creating love songs for Karma butttt he wouldn’t give them to him bc he would be too embarrassed ndndndnd on the other hand, Karma would write poetry and stories for Shuu like very dorky ones and cute and Shuu finds it adorable on the inside but he has to keep his reputation and standards and stuff like that up so he just says it’s stupid but let me tell you, that boy loves Karmas poetry and stories
Who does some crazy stunt to try and impress the other and who ends up driving them to the emergency room after it backfires?
KARMA WOULD TRY TO IMPRESS AND THEN BAM. HOSPITAL.
BUT. JUST BC KARMA IS A DORK, IT DOESNT MEAN THAT SHUU ISN’T. IMAGINE SHUU TRYING TO BAKE SMTH FOR KARMA FOR THE FIRST TIME AND HE FUCKS UP SO BADLY THEY HAD TO CALL A FIRE DEPARTMENT-
Who is embarrassed when they have to wear their glasses and who thinks they look super cute?
KARMA WOULD WEAR GLASSES BUT HE WOULDN’T BE EMBARRASSED BUTTT SHUU WOULD FIND HIM EVEN MORE ATTRACTIVE
who worries about what they will look like when they are older?
BOTH, they worry that they won’t be good looking enough for the other one
who hogs the blanket?
Karma is a hoe.
who eats the others uneaten pizza crusts?
Pls, Shuu would rather die than not eat his own pizza left overs butttt Karma sometimes wont finish them and Shuu gladly accepts 😩❤️ (also a fanfic reference, bc Shuu loves pizza in that one fanfic so yea-)
who is more likely to cry over a sad book or movie?
BOTH BUT WHEN THEY ARE WATCHING A MOVIE TOGETHER AND ITS SAD THEY WONT ADMIT NOR SHOW IT
who talks while playing video games?
KARMA WOULD CONSTANTLY TALK AND THAT WAY HE CAN BEAT SHUU BC HE DISTRACTS HIM BUT SHUU ALSO TALKS BC HE HAS QUESTIONS ABOUT THE GAME
who sings along with the radio?
KARMA SINGS BUT HORRIBLY AND SHUU IS THE TYPE TO HUM TO THE SONGS
who would enter them both into a talent show?
KARMA BUT NOW THAT I THINK OF IT, RIO WOULD FORCE THEM TO DO THAT BEFORE KARMA CAN EVEN THINK OF IT
who would accidentally set the kitchen on fire while cooking?
DO I NEED TO ANSWER THIS? 💀 (Shuu.)
who would throw the other into a pool?
KARMA WOULD THROW SHUU INTO A POOL. IDC. HE WOULD. B U T SHUU WOULD QUICKLY GRAB ONTO KARMA AND THEY BOTH LAND IN THE POOL. I DON’T MAKE THE RULES.
who shops for groceries?
THEY BOTH DO BUT KARMA IS MORE ORIENTED DJDJDJ
who kills the spiders?
PLSSSS SHUU IS S C R E E T C H I N G AT THE SIGHT OF A SPIDER. KARMA IS THERE TO KILL/GET IT OUT TO SAFETY BUT BEFORE THAT, HE CHASES SHUU AROUND THE HOUSE WITH IT
who is the morning/night person?
SHUU IS A MORNING PERSON AND KARMA A NIGHT PERSON. BUTTTT ON SOME DAYS- *EHEM* SHUU ISNT A MORNING PERSON BC THEY HAD S-
whO PROPOSES?
KARMAAAAAAAA
I thinkkk that I have more of those- as soon as I find them, I’ll post them here 😩✨
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uwumessenger · 3 years
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random headcanons i have for each om! character teehee
hi it's been a while since ive posted some hcs bc uni has been kicking my a$$! luckily i only have a few papers to tidy up and im done. here r some hcs for each obey me character that ive accumulated over the past few months wink wonk
most are random but some constants you'll find are what i think they smell like, languages they can speak (other than their native (demon/angel) and eng/jp), and music tastes !
lucifer
i have a strong feeling that he showers twice a day: in the morning after waking up and at night before going to bed
his cologne is probably the type that will last in an elevator for like a week after he uses it once. i dont think this mf ever smells like anything other than his cologne
has a secret folder on his phone of semi-nudes and other scandalous pics from when he felt sexy at the time omg
aside from demon language/eng/jp he can speak french and knows latin
listens to classical stuff yea but he also listens to diavolos mixtapes (re: diavolo's section)
not a fan of sweets but will eat sweet things when craving
really bland sense of humor...borderline cringey 😭✋🏻
mammon
has gone to google images and searched for "inspirational quotes tumblr" "gold aesthetic tumblr" & "relatable crush post tumblr" then reposts it onto his socials or just taps thru them and giggles bc he relates
his cologne doesnt last as long as lucifers and probably smells common. he has to reapply a lot but it's a people pleasing smell. it's cheaper hence the constant reapplying
he probably does have an expensive bottle but is the type to totally overspray...eek
he is canonically a car guy 🥲 and probably tells the one in his room good morning & good night + kisses the hood every once in a while. has tons of car magazines
he doesnt really speak other languages but has attempted to learn spanish before
listens to whatever is on the radio. doesnt rly stan anyone but he eventually will listen to mc's playlist and mc's playlist ONLY
levi
lurks on mc's socials ALL THE TIMEEEE like he will rewatch ur stories and scroll thru ur feed and overanalyze ur tweets/rts or blog posts. if ur mc isnt the type to use sns much he still googles ur name all the damn time just to find any sites u might be on fjdjdjdjskks
probably streams on whatever youtube or twitch devildom site equivalent there is, but only has like 40 or so followers. which he is okay with!
until he sees someone else who gets more attention than him. then the envy starts kicking in bad. especially if they suck 🧍🏻‍♀️
classic gamer boy smell. you know, sweat, tears, must, and (sometimes) axe deodorant. lucifer has to do a scent check before he goes out to any event & lets him use his cologne. how sweet!
kpop stan!! more girl groups than anything and his ults are probably GIRLS GENERATION, wonder girls, twice, loona, & red velvet
cried when ioi disbanded and refused to leave his room. the only thing u could hear was downpour on loop at full blast
can also speak korean & communicate in echolocation like dolphins 😏
satan
listens to country music you cant change my mind
smells like whatever environment he is in. he doesnt really have a designated smell just throws some deodorant on and goes about his day.
he's sooooo bad at driving...gets road rage way too often so his license has been REVOKED
but hes totally a backseat driver. needs to be sedated on long trips
do not let him watch finding nemo when luke asks to watch it. it's not worth it. he will cause mass destruction.
if he was a human or lived long term in the human world he totally has the ability to be a doctor
is studying as many languages as possible, but he mostly knows latin & french & german etc etc. wants to learn all the dead languages out of curiousity
asmo
dont think this mf has ever held down a relationship. ever
he doesnt compromise much & is not willing to change his lifestyle to fit an s/o into it. you keep up with how he lives or it just isnt meant to be (but dont worry! he'll eventually learn...maybe,,,,)
has the hardest time out of everyone when it comes to breaking bad habits
his smell varies bc he uses a variety of perfumes (whatever is the most popular at the time) but he probably sticks to floral and fresh scents. he never uses generic people pleaser scents like mammon
listens to electropop, mainstream pop, & some alternative rock
as for languages he too knows french, spanish, italian, etc. in general, if it's a romance language he knows it!
opposite of lucifer in the sense where he loves sweets and will refrain from eating too many bitter things
i think we all know that asmo is the biggest rockstar of the group! he's probably been in a boy band at least once, but now he makes his own music
has tried to teach mammon how to sing once. ended up in a broken piano and bleeding ears...
beel
i feel like he is SO SHY
like unless ur close to him he will not start conversations or anything
i think he listens to r&b a lot ! and jazz 😎 maybe rock as well
smells like ur typical athlete with undertones of wet wipes. he carries them around bc he likes to clean his hands before he eats & is prepared for when theres no sink nearby
he can drive and he drives really well. no rough turns, parallel parks perfectly, and never has problems with merging
driving with beel is probably really soothing. left hand is steering the other is gripping ur thigh 😫
dont think hes really fluent in any other language but hes probably semi fluent in korean because levi wanted beel to help him out
definitely know how to order food in practically every language tho HAHAHA
belphie
he reminds me of randall from monsters inc
smells kinda musty IM SORRY but not the way levi does hes more like the kind of musty u feel or smell when it's a shitty morning
but that's only because hes so lazy, when he cleans up hes like satan
has definitely murdered multiple people before. mc is not the first 😐✋🏻
with that being said belphie has been put into prison at least twice when visiting the human world, the mf had such a strong hatred for humans theres no way he never got into trouble before
lucifer probably broke him out and they used the pen thingies from men in black to erase everyones memory of that 🙄
dont think he listens to anything other than music that'll put him to sleep. really likes lazy song by bruno mars but thinks that bruno mars put too much effort into the song. should have been one acapella verse and then finish
similar to beel hes only semi fluent in one language, probably french bc of lucifer. doesnt remember much but knows a couple of lullabies and bedtime stories
the sandman used to be his bff until they drifted. they do, however, like and comment on each other's sns posts.
diavolo
once he found out who nicki minaj was he became her #1 stan
def an ariana grande stan too 😌
choreographs dances when hes stressed...idk just seems like a diavolo thing to do
also makes rly bad soundcloud rap music sometimes. turns to poetry when hes feeling emo but only lucifer knows this. barbatos is suspicious of him but doesnt have enough evidence to confirm.
his dad is like hudson abadeer from adventure time aka marceline's dad? something must have influenced him to want to unite the 3 realms + he would need the approval to do so, so his dad must be more chill than all the others before him 🧍🏻‍♀️ IDK ok anyway
currently going through his hamilton phase bc of mc. whether mc's intent was to get him hooked onto it or just to explain it bc of something he saw online, he tells everyone that he found out abt it bc of mc!
this man cannot drive his skills are only second to jumin han
not too fond of many languages but knows the widely spoken ones like spanish, mandarin, etc. if it's taught in high school he knows it
smells like a las vegas casino. not sure why but i feel like he does. but there's also an interesting & nice smell to him if he embraces you. it's a smell you cant quite identify. but it smells nostalgic, it's mysterious, and it's tempting.
barbatos
very calm demeanor but underneath hes WILD hes probably done everything at least once oof
he just has a lot of control and stability over himself (must be nice!)
on a more angsty note i feel like he might have had his heartbroken sO BAD IDK he is hurting and maybe that's why hes so willing to obey diavolo and not abuse his time lord power thingies bc he learned his lesson the hard way
mans is so smart he knows every language you could switch languages mid conversation with him and he wouldnt be thrown off. he'd probably start speaking it too.
BUT HE SPEAKS VIET P E R F E C T L Y
listens to the same stuff as lucifer but also likes eminem. likes the movie 8 mile but criticized it heavily
have you ever been to a chinese herb shop? naturally, he smells like that. his room probably smells like it too. he doesnt really have a significant smell like some of the others
when he bakes he smells like whatever hes baking tho
one of the few out of everyone listed to have been able to travel to literally everywhere
solomon
was probably on kitchen nightmares once, but only to get feedback from chef gordon ramsay. then he used his magic to prevent the episode from airing...
was in an orchestra, one of the best times of his life. played the violin. asmo watched him in the audience once, but didnt approach him until well after that performance.
he CANNOT sing. he can, however, rap.
doesnt listen to music. he listens to podcasts! but every now and then he turns on background music, but prefers it to be instrumental stuff
never wears sunglasses. also does not have a driver's license. cannot drive a regular car. could maybe fly an airplane.
due to his immortality he has learned almost every language to exist, but finds himself speaking mandarin the most. knows most dialects too
similar smell to barbatos but u can also smell some sunscreen on him too. like, generic beach day suncreen
he has a lot of pact marks, so he once had the idea to match foundation to his skin. it took him two weeks but he eventually perfected a combination. yes he will help u find ur perfect shade if u ask him to
simeon
another country music man. has also made a tiktok or two to that one song that goes "he cant even bait a hook." they are private tho
angel country music exists and simeon invented it
if he visits the human world and wears more causal clothing he probably tucks his shirt into his pants
wears a speedo at the beach i tell u, speedo at the beach
he can speak german...i can feel it
uses his pointer finger to type and holds the phone like 2 inches away from his face so sometimes his nose will push a key hence all his typos
has no signature smell. he simply smells like your favorite scent all the time. if multiple people are around him at once, everyone smells a different smell. it's pretty rad
"what does he smell like to himself?" u may be asking. hmm...a church? 💀
luke
his first pet was a goldfish and a few months before the exchange program happened, he was given a koi pond!
secretly likes hanging out with levi sometimes just to play with henry. makes him miss his pet fish back home
so his favorite movie is probably finding nemo and he threw a fit when nemo touched the butt
luke is probably learning german bc of simeon, though he'd like to learn more of the dead languages just for fun
i dont think he listens to music often or has any preferences, he just listens to whatever is playing on the radio
but he finds himself listening to the music mc listens to
smells like freshly baked goods all the time. or fresh laundry. but like, not combined. just depends on the day
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lotussokka · 4 years
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so i had a thought: you know tropes of the closet romance novelist and of the virgin erotica novelist? now make it zuko, but keep it in the canon universe
WARNING: discussion of sexual content (18+ please), mentions of alcohol, mention of a minor (17) reading sexual content, and overtones you may find acephobic. this starts 5–6yrs post-canon.
if you are under 18 and you have opened this to read it anyway, that’s no longer my responsibility as i have warned you, but please do not interact with this post either way (please dont like, rb, or reply)
part 2 • part 3 • part 4
so firelord zuko — who has never had sex — secretly writes dirty scrolls under a pseudonym and somehow they become famous
maybe bc he just hasnt had the opportunity or bc he’s busy and it hasn’t been a priority. maybe he’s Waiting for the Right Person™, he doesnt feel ready, or he’s worried about the power imbalance from being the firelord. maybe he’s on the ace spectrum... whichever you vibe with the most works bc it really doesn’t matter. sex isn’t essential and virginity is a bullshit construct but it is pivotal to this narrative so if that’s a problem for you, this isn’t the post for you
it starts with an erotically charged poem appreciating the male form that he anonymously submits to a new caldera city literary society
zuko thought he was writing artsy commentary about how people’s bodies have been misused as tools of war and how we’re reverting back to our natural form but its REALLY horny instead of wise
@zukostransboyfriend said, as i’m sure many of you are thinking: and sokka, known lover of poetry,
but NO youre all getting ahead of me. there are more steps!
so he writes another one since the first one was such a hit — still not realizing he’s essentially writing softcore porn
he doesnt think anything of it bc its not Sex™ and he’s seen a few dirty scrolls and they were crude and always heterosexual and his appreciation of watching the guards spar is purely out of his joy of seeing their strength and agility not being used for war anymore and for no other reason
the poems get fairly popular in the city and uncle iroh comes to visit and zuko is like “uncle i think your proverbs have finally sunk in! ive been writing these poems about healing from the war and i want to know what you’d think!”
uncle iroh starts reading one and its a bit flowery in its language but not unpleasantly so and then zuko starts talking about Hands and he looks up at zuko trying to figure out if he knows
ZUKO DOES NOT KNOW
AND HE ISNT ABLE TO LOOK HIS UNCLE IN THE EYE FOR DAYS
BC WTF
now that he knows, he stops writing them but then it becomes a big thing in the caldera bc the Dragon of the Caldera has stopped writing
its like the theft of the mona lisa, now that its gone everyone is interested and speculating about the identity of the dragon of the caldera
and thats when it starts spreading to neighboring villages and islands and then out of the fire nation (but zuko doesnt know this until much later)
mai knows it’s him, not bc hes told her but bc she knows him and she knows that poem 6 was specifically about the soldier-turned-guard that recently requested to start working as a gardener bc 1.) the specificity of the concept and 2.) “come on zuko youre so obvious. you were just about drooling when he brought in that wheelbarrow of mulch”
zukostransboyfriend added: If he’s sexy enough pushing around some mulch then he deserves a poem or two
(the gardener is very sexy and zuko wrote multiple lines comparing him to the strength of the earth but the gentleness of an orchid with so many flower metaphors that definitely sound like theyre about sex but it was just zuko doing a really bad impression of his uncle)
he does some Gay Panic about it to her bc mlm/wlw solidarity ✊✊ and some angsting about how hes Tainted by associating with such a vile perverse art
and mai is like “you’re so fucking dramatic its just sex”
zuko is Not appeased by that reply so she sits up, looks him in the eye, and says, "look. sex isnt the perverse, scary thing you think it is. your father is just weird, and controlling, and probably fear-mongered you about ‘purity of the royal bloodline’ and ‘being soiled by the touch of men’ (#trans zuko lyfe 5ever) or whatever, but that’s not how it really is. you know that, right?”
and finally after a few nights of stewing and pacing his chambers about it, he decides to try to write another poem
and its Bad
bc he was thinking about the detached impersonal graphic porn scrolls he stumbled upon during his banishment and thinking thats what sex is when he wrote it
but he submits it anyway and theres scandal bc
does the Dragon have a copycat? (the literary group confirms that the new poem was written in the same hand as the others.)
has the Dragon lost their muse?
or worse, have they started seeing some and theyve been focusing their passion on him?
and zuko angsts about the fact that it’s so bad and gets drunk with mai and toph (she showed up to visit and somehow immediately found out. he has no idea how considering she cant read. and he doesnt want to think about his Little Sister reading his dirty poetry even if she is almost 18 now)
zukostransboyfriend added: toph who cannot read: im a literary critic now
mai is like “so what if it’s bad? it’s not like you wanted to write good porn” 
zuko is very much not satisfied with that answer
but then toph imparts toph-ly wisdom and tells him “if you wrote good poems when you were talking about the Beauty Of Healing From The War or whatever, then just write more thinking about that”
it takes a while for him to finally get the courage to write another one.... weirdly enough this one is about aang. zuko is uncomfortable about the fact that what he wrote about his friend and the beauty of the four elements is probably highly erotic but also its the first draft that was good enough to get the okay from ty lee (who has become his unofficial editor via mai) so he submits it
and the city Loves it
and then zuko gets on a roll bc he’s figured out how to intentionally write what people read as good porn by writing some sentimental emotional-release to deal with his stressful job
meanwhile the poems are being circulated around the world and being compiled into small pamphlets and then into larger books (won shi tong sighs as his knowledge seekers bring him yet another of the firelord’s dirty poetry books to put in the burnt out fire nation wing
part 2 • part 3 • part 4
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Alright, Period Cramps just set in and Im looking for songs anyway so Im gonna be listening to every RWBY Song (V1-V7) in chronological order and rank them, starting with the worst. Lets go!
Caffeine: Thank god the team with the Nazi-based leader has the shittiest song so far.
Celebrate: Why tf is this here
Shine: Ehhhh. I dont really know why but the vibes were all off, somehow. The fact that really dislike Jaune (and as an extension, Arkos) doesn't help either.
Forever Fall: This song was 5 minutes long and it felt like 20
Brand New Day: I barely even registered that
Fear: not the worst
Lets Get Real: Either Im too tired or the songs are getting worse
War: Im ranking this one higher because it wasnt over 4 minutes
Bmblb: All the love songs are so generic
Dream Come True: Im listening to all these songs in the form of Lyric Videos and the art used in this one made me think 'Oh, a Jaune Song... Great. Well, maybe we'll get Jaune pining after Phyrrah now! Yknow, to balance it out. A cute lil song of him pining for a nice girl might me like him a bit more!' and guess what. It wasnt that. It was another Arkos Song from Phyrrahs perspective. AND this one had unnecessary Girl-Hate towards Weiss! For no reason! The only reason its above Shine is because they atleast got the vibes right this time.
Not Fall In Love With You: I think Im just not a big fan of the love songs.
Boop: It was pretty cute but nothing to write home about
Until The End: slow piano
Touch The Sky: Its not that bad, its just that Im tired and this song is too goddamn long
This Time (From Shadows II): A just fine song for a shitty arc
I Burn: I liked fine, until they started rapping.
Like Morning Follows Night: I thought this was gonna be one of the better love songs, then he started rapping.
Smile: All this does is make me question how Ilia was in the wrong even more. Sounded alright though.
The Triumph: Eh, pretty unremarkable opening for an unremarkable volume
This Will Be The Day: A very promising start! There's honestly not much to say here
From Shadows: It was fine. I liked the overall sound but the lyrics and the singing are just a bit too edgy for me.
Bad Luck Charm: Someone in the comments under the lyrics video said "looks like someone found his middleschool poetry" and honestly, yeah.
I May Fall: Hey, yknow how the FoB was apparently meant to happen in Volume 1? Yeah. Overall, I thought it was pretty alright. (You can probably already tell that Im not too big of a fan of the louder, more energetic songs so far.....
Trust Love: This is by no means a problem I have with only this song, but I hate how theyre all like "oh this isnt some FaIrYtAlE kid, this is real n dark n shit" as if RWBY isnt the least dark and least subversive story Ive seen in recent time
Rising: Alright but unremarkable
Miracle: Another alright but unremarkable one. At this point I feel like listening to these songs is frying my brain
Ignite: I was just gonna say its an alright Yang Song but that rap...
Big Metal Shoe: I can appreciate some fairy tale references
Gold: The chorus got a bit repetitive but I thought it was pretty cute
Home: Another cute lil family song! This one was kinda long though
Lionized: I really appreciate the vibe of this song
All Our Days: Adorable! I didnt really expect a Taiyang Song but this was pretty nice
Sacrifice: Not really much go say about this one, I thought it was fine
Neon: I feel like I just got aggressively flexed on in the nicest, yet most condescending way possible
Lusus Naturae: Very edgy, but in a way that I can appreciate more
Red Like Roses I: I really like the sound of this one! I kinda wish we had more lyrics, but this was the song used in the Red Trailer so Im assuming it was made to compliment the action more than anything. At the start and end there was this series of notes, that Im assuming is gonna be the Leitmotiv? Either way, Im curious how theyll use it
All Things Must Die: I feel like this song is definitely at its best during the slower bits
Lets Just Live: First of all, I cant believe they live-laugh-loved us. They kept mentioning like, stories and how 'this isnt your TYPICAL fairytale', I could practically feel the writers being like "Huh, huuuuuuuh? Arent we CLEVER? Yes we are, yes we are!" But other than it was mostly fine. A bit long, maybe.
Armed And Ready: Pretty alright Yang Song, I felt like it was just a bit too long
It's My Turn: Not much to say, I thought it was a fine Weiss Song
Nevermore: I think its good
Wings: I really enjoyed this song! Caseys voice is lovely and I think its a very good Blake Song
Indomitable: I liked this one, but I feel like its mainly because the line "the spirit is indomitable" reminds of Flame from VRAINS
When It Falls: This song is trying very hard to convince you that RWBY is Dark Now. And given that Im pretty sure this is V3s opening, I guess it fits. Oh well, it still sounded pretty nice.
One Thing: A real slappin song thats going straight to my YGO-playlist as well
All That Matters: Very neat song about Yang's conflicting feelings on Blake's return. Shame theyre literally not conveyed at all in the show.
Die: Very agressive title, but okay. I also enjoyed this one, who wouldve guessed. I love this whole vibe of Desperate Heroism In A World In Ruin, yknow? Its there in Time To Say Goodbye and Red Like Roses II (two of my favourite songs so far) too. Though it is quite dissapointing that the show never really matched it.
Hero: I dont get how people can look at this and go "yeah, Ironwood was clearly always a tyrant who never even remotely cared for others". Also Caleb Hyles my beloved
Time To Say Goodbye: Another very nice song! I also think the foreshadowing in the third verse (yknow the slow one) was quite well done. The only real issue is, that the plot point its foreshadowing is stupid as hell
The Path To Isolation: Why is Weiss a better character in her songs?
Divide: This song is trying very hard to convince you that RWBY is Dark Now pt 2. It is a banger though, so its fine.
Mirror Mirror: Funfact: This was technically the first RWBY-Thing Ive ever consumed! A Youtuber named Strawbelly made a german cover of this song (and the songs from the other trailers, I believe) and it was one of my favourites for a while. Ive also already listened to some of Weiss' other songs and I remember enjoying them too. I can definitely already tell that I prefer Caseys voice in the slower songs, so I really hope this keeps up
This Life Is Mine: Yoooooooooo, Caseys voice was amazing in this one(especially at the very start)! This is one of the Weiss Songs I listened to before I even watched RWBY and what can I say, I loved it back then and I love it now
I'm The One: Oh, this was absolutely lovely. For the first few seconds I thought I wouldnt like this one, but its a banger! I love the lyrics too, theyre very clever I think
Red Like Roses II: DUDE, I adored this! I did not expect there to be lyrics for Summer at all and I was so pleasently surprised! Sandra's voice was lovely, and I really hope I'll get to hear her again. But on a slightly more negative note, I feel like this is really where the whole 'RWBYs Songs Characterize The Protagonists In A More Compelling Way Than The Show Does'-Problem starts.
I originally wanted to write some kind of conclusion but Im tired and wanna read angst fics. Have a good night!
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curlytemple · 4 years
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niche interests list 
okay sure yes this is fun! i havent posted a thing like this in such a long time. thank you new gal pal @scottspack for tagging me! 
pigs????
alright first lets throw it back to preschool! my fav childhood toys were my baby doll (snookums) and a plush pig that my grandma got me that i just called ‘pig’ ...i watched the babe movies countless times, and piglet? that anxious little guy GETS ME bro. when my preschool did a nativity play and my class got to choose an animal to be in baby jesus’ manger, my mother recalls me saying that i would be a pig because jewish people (jesus christ) wouldnt eat me. she has no idea how or when i learned about kosher foods. ironically despite my namesake i was too afraid of the movie charlotte’s web to watch it more than once because the scary farmer tries to kill wilbur for being small and the pretty spider dies. 
sugar creek gang 
OKAY this is a book series from the 40s-70s about a group of christian little boys in indiana who went on adventures in the woods and helped people. my dad read a LOT of chapter books to me as bedtime stories when i was little (see also the mandie series, nancy drew and the hardy boys, little house on the prairie) but sugar creek gang is one that really hit. i read all 36 books with dad and at least once again on my own. there was a series of 4 or 5 movies in the early 2000s when i was the Perfect age to have a crush on most if not all of them. this might be too much detail but i have to tell you about these boys. we WILL not be revisiting the heavy religious themes. 
 the narrator is bill who is Good and Kind and wants to be a doctor when he grows up. his best friend is a chubby boy nicknamed poetry because he memorizes and quotes poems, he is the Detective of the group. BIG JIM is the leader of the group who is supposed to be like, 14, which was very cool and hot, to me. and yes there is a little jim, who is the baby of the group. then there is CIRCUS who is known for his climbing and acrobatics, and his FIVE SISTERS AND BEAUTIFUL SINGING VOICE. dreamboy. i’m almost done listing boys, i promise. a boy called dragonfly who is allergic to everything and hella superstitious. later in the series a new boy named tom moves to town and tom has an older brother bob who is NOT A CHRISTIAN (bully) 
tangentially, the buttercream gang, a movie from 1992 that was almost definitely made by some christians who grew up reading the sugar creek gang series which i’m guessing on vibes alone. will spare you Good Boy details but scott is in love with his best friend pete who moves to chicago and falls in with a bad crowd and scott just refuses to stop LOVING HIM. very gay christian film in retrospect. 
peter pan
so i know liking disney’s peter pan isnt niche, but it was the way i liked it. tinker bell stan from day one, i watched all of those disney fairies movies, even the ones that came out after i was definitely not intended audience. there was an online pixie hollow game where you could design your own fairies and play mini games where you gathered dew drops or something. had a HUGE CRUSH on jeremy sumpter in peter pan (2003) then i got really darkly obsessed with the idea of growing up when i was 12 or 13, and everything peter pan was deeply My Shit for my entire adolescence. i read the original book and every other twisted version of the story i could find and seriously freaked myself out about wasting my youth. 
shug
you’ve probably heard of jenny han now, or at least the netflix adaptations for to all the boys i’ve loved before and the sequel ps i still love you (always and forever, lara jean, coming soon?) but before she wrote THOSE, she wrote my first ever Favorite Book, about annemarie “shug” wilcox, a girl in the summer before starting middle school. it is SO engraved on my heart i cannot explain. i felt so incredibly understood and cant even tell you how many times i read it. thinking about all of the ways it made me feel SEEN is actually making me very tender so i’m gonna go on.  
the summer series
on the subject of jenny han, since she was now my Favorite author, when she came out with the summer i turned pretty in 2009, i was ALL IN. it’s not summer without you, and we’ll always have summer were published the next two years. a coming of age series about a girl isabel “belly” conklin who stays at her mother’s best friend's house at the beach in the summers. i really could talk about it forever yall. i actually dont know how to be succinct about it. i will try. her mom’s friend has TWO BOYS. one brother, jeremiah, is the golden boy and her best friend who is in love with her! the older one CONRAD is her childhood crush who's just sort of around while belly is firmly getting over her childish feelings and going out and experiencing teen beach life with jeremiah for the first time and figuring out who she is and wants to be! by the end of the summer he admits he feels differently about her (hence belly internalizing this as The Summer I Turned Pretty) and they get together. this is already too much so i will just say that the next two books deal with a PROFOUND LOSS and the selfishness of grief and the SELFLESSNESS OF CONRAD and i will absolutely lose my shit if netflix picks it up for a second jenny han series adaptation. 
pappyland
this was a kids show in the 90′s that features a character named Pappy Drew-It, an artist dressed like a 49er who lives in a magic cabin in pappyland. there’s tons of characters and music and life lessons but the meat of every episode is a detailed drawing how-to (pappy is actually a cartoonist, michael cariglio) and i have a hard back cover sketch book from my grandpa that i FILLED with drawings that pappy and DOODLEBUG taught me to do. there is a running gag that pappy always breaks his crayons.  
boy meets world
i KNOW this is beloved by many but i’m counting it because i’m simply too young to have such an obsession with it! the show ran from 1992-2000. i was born in 1996, but reruns on the disney channel and abc family cemented it as one of my favorite shows. cory and shawn, closer than brothers, shameless homoromantics, shawn is cory’s first wife!!!!! truly showed me what a best friend can and should be!!!!!! the great love of your life!!!!! TOPANGA, the og weird feminist girl who said stop shaving your legs and start speaking your mind, ladies! the characters are so richly developed that they are real people to my heart. YES every character on this show is in their late 30s-early 40s and YES i feel like we grew up together. in season one they’re in the 6th grade and we follow them all the way to COLLEGE. countless poignant life lessons, often literally dictated by the wise and hilarious MR. FEENY, cory’s next door neighbor and somehow one of his teachers for YEARS. my love was only solidified by the 2014 girl meets world reboot, centered on cory and topanga’s daughter and her best friend. (which was literally cancelled because disney didn’t want to transition from a kids show to a teen show, something essential to the original. also because that teen show would have had CANON LESBIANS. extremely shameful move in 2017!) boy meets world lives rent free in my heart and i will never evict it!!!!!!!
i consulted my mother when i got stumped for more and she reminded me that i had obsessions with the impressionist art period and babies and ANYTHING fairies or pixies, and i was way too young when my love of the canadian teen after school special degrassi began. she also said bob ross, which i was hesitant to include because he’s been super ~trendy in recent years, but to be fair (To Be Faaairrr) she’s right! i don’t think people really watched the joy of painting as much as i have throughout my life. best sick day show of all time.
lastly i could honestly list anna herself as a niche interest, my mom actually metioned that ive always hyperfixated on my girl friends (gay) but i’ll just note that YES friday night lights, YES barry lyga novels. love to share so many things with you, niche or not, they’re niche in Our Mind.
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the-sanders-sides · 5 years
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inidan american (desi) logan
a sequel to this post because people asked for more and i decided that they shall receive (and also i love writing these)
fair warning, logans a bitter kid, and this isnt as positive and happy as romans post. ive experienced two different ways of being desi, one where i lived in fully asian and indian community and didnt even think id ever feel alone, and another where i moved to a place where i havent met another desi in like 7 years of living here in a 3 hour driving radius. in romans post i played into my first experience and how at home i felt. in the second experience, the one im in right now, i am much more bitter about who i am and not really knowing anyone who gets it anymore. so i play into that A LOT in this. so keep that in mind. (and he will get happier in a future part. m planning on making this into a series)
ok so first off. his name is logan sanders. people (mostly other indians) dont believe him when he tells them. he tells them they dont know indian history. they say they do. he tells them that the british fucked around (quite literally) in india for four centuries so of course english names would stick with that precise wording
sometimes when he’s annoyed enough and doesnt want to explain this for the millionth he defends himself with this russel peters skit (watch it, it’s hilarious) because it describes his family. to a T. 
he grew up in a community with not very many asians, and knew no indians outside his family so he felt a sort of disconnect to his culture
while his grandparents and parents would teach him about indian culture, he felt so distant from it since he knew no one outside his family who was indian, and since he didnt have any siblings or any nearby cousins to hang around with
he had visited india once but he was too young to remember it properly or too remember his cousins
the closest mandir was an hour away so that also limited the amount of indian kids/people he knew
he barely knew hindi because everyone in his family spoke english, especially in public
he felt guilty over the disconnect he felt and would always try to bridge it but would never accomplish this because it he kept losing passion since he rarely saw other people like him in the real world and in the media and he didnt see the point of trying
this all changed in eight grade when he moved next door to the Kumar family in a north indian street of some south asian blocks in an asian community
when his family first moved, the Kumar family invited the Sanders over to welcome them
it turns out the Kumar’s had a son who was the same age as logan
“hi logan! im rohan kumar! but i like going by roman instead of rohan!” 
this introduction pissed logan off 
he was seething because why would this kid who got to have an indian first AND last name change his name to an english one! why didnt he see the value of his name!
he knew right away that such a difference meant they could never be friends 
“im logan sanders, but thats all youll get to know about me because i see no use associating myself with someone as... well, ignorant, as you”
roman decides to whip out one of the swears his cousins taught him and whisper shouts “who are you calling ignorant, bhenchod?” 
 it became clear to him that this was new turf, and people on this new turf must be speaking hindi. and that he was the ignorant one if he couldnt talk in hindi. he made a vow to learn it as fast as he could to make sure this roman kid wasnt better than him
but, logan grits his teeth and says “you, and i know it must be true because you were too dumb to understand me the first time”
this evidently struck a sore spot in roman because he didnt fight back but just stalked away. logan smiled slightly, happy to have won that argument
logan asks his grandpa to teach him hindi and his grandpa gets super excited
they start lessons immediately and despite barely hearing it growing up, it’s as if his brain was made for this because he picks the language up amazingly fast and in a months time, while not able to speak back yet, he can understand most casual conversation
his first diwali in basically little india is the most magical thing ever
diwali at his old home was very quiet because there wasnt anyone around to celebrate with
everyone is so happy in this new home however. everyone is dressed up and all the houses are lit up and there are diyas everywhere and he doesnt want to admit it but the kumar’s have the best rangoli on the street and it’s because of roman and he knows roman did it because sometimes he’d stare out of his bedroom window while doing homework and have a perfect view of roman delicately working on it for two weeks
(the kumar’s front porch had been covered with tarp waiting for diwali to make sure romans precious rangoli wasnt stepped on or ruined. when it’s finally let up, everywhere where there could be art, there is. it’s insane how good at colors roman is, logan thinks)
diwali morning: 
he fights his parents because he doesnt want to miss school for diwali because americans dont have a day off for it. his parents set the clocks in the house ahead to make him think he overslept so he would skip school. (logan didnt know that his parents had submitted an excused absence form for religious reasons and that the school was very understanding. he thought it would be like his old school where he wouldnteven bother trying since he wasnt christain and the school was lkinda discriminatory)
they spend the morning in mandir and it’s nice. for once he doesnt feel different from his peers because he goes to mandir and not church or synagogue. he feels at home.
diwali afternoon:
the afternoon is spent with frantic cleaning and cooking and digging around for the diya’s that were still in boxes, packed away from when they moved
logan offered to find them all to continue with a diya science experiment he started two years prior. his theory was that the diya’s were multiplying and there were more each year despite no one buying anymore
this held true, because even though he could only find half of their diya collection, it was somehow more than the entire diya collection of two years prior. 
diwali evening:
theres a big potluck and everyone in the neighborhood is out talking to each other, looking at the decorations at everyones houses, eating samosas, and playing with sparklers. 
logan feels content
he makes a new resolve to learn more about hinduism. if this is what ti was supposed to be, then he never wanted to be away from hinduism. 
he looked at the metaphors and symbolism in everything and finally understood what his dad meant he told logan that hinduism is just science written in poetry and that string theory is written in the ancient texts
middle school in this new town is so much better than middle school in his old home. why?
a. doesnt get bullied for being a nerd
b. doesnt get called gay slurs 
c. the classes are harder 
d. much less racism
e. all of the above
soon enough, logans asking his grandpa to teach him how to cook Indian food
Logan spends the day burning dosas and making lopsided rotis
(eventually he gets the hang of it, and a he'll be cooking food for an infuriating Indian boy ;) ;) psst it's roman)
Speaking of boys
Coming out isn't an option for logan
He knows that his parents arent really religious enough to really look into hinduism and see that no, gays are not bad
But they are traditional and conservative enough to be homophobic
not homophobic as in spewing hate with the westboro baptist church at a pride parade
But homophobic as in "the gays are fine as long as they don't do it in front of me" kinda thing
So Logan stays quiet
the closet kinda sucks but i mean what can he do
it’s safer inside, and he as illogical as wishing is, he wishes that people would use their brains and realize there’s nothing wrong with gay
anyway
in school logan makes his first desi friend, who was dubbed as anxiety years ago and cant seem to get rid of the nickname and now has a whole complex about his name so logan doesnt know his name
logan and anxiety meet in the school library: logan studying and anxiety hiding
people dont like anxiety
especially non-indian kids
surprise surprise it’s an old buddy called racism, but anxiety’s story is for another time
(but even though no one really likes anxiety, whenever racist shit goes down, it has to go through roman)
so logan and anxiety become fast friends
and they make fun of roman (a+ bonding)
logan claims that roman is a hypocrite for changing his name to an english one while being so immersed in indian culture
anxiety doesnt dispute this, but says he has a past with roman
a past that involved getting stuck with the name anxiety
again, another story for another time
one day, when logan and anxiety are eating lunch they see roman destroy some homophobes who throw around the word f*g and keep calling caitlyn jenner, bruce jenner
logans chest surges
he’s all like “what?? emotions?? pride at roman?? is he better than me for being so open and standing up for what he believes in??”
gay panic basically
but logan masked it well and pushed it away
the next day roman comes to school with a pride patch on his jean jacket
logan feels like he cant breathe
logan is supremely jealous of roman.
he can be gay in peace
he can pretend not to be indian in a way that benefits him
and he’s not affected by stereotypes in the same way?? like what does this kid not have
and by stereotypes i mean
roman is the complete opposite of all indian and desi stereotypes: loud, flamboyant, theatrical
logan’s personality is exactly how the stereotypes are. he’s nerdy and likes science and math and it seems like he cant escape the stereotypes. they follow him. and he feels guilty that he likes science and math and is nerdy. 
as illogical as it is, he wishes he was different from how he is
but logan later learns that there are more than just his perspective on being desi and that every desi kid growing up faces challenges about it that are different than his, causing them to experience being desi differently
and logan will accept that, in another story at another time
for now, he’s just bitter. and as illogical as it is, he wishes the world was better
and now, i shall tag some people who asked to be tagged and some other desi’s who loved this because i feel like you guys might appreciate this too. also i love u. desi famders squad up.
@sssixeyedrunt @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 @caterpiller-tea @xxxbladeangelxxx @snufflesthegrim227 @cloudchaser7 @thelowlysatsuma 
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Few questions to help both us n you get to know the passengers on this cruise to hell better! 1,upon first glance what something someone would immediately notice abt your ocs appearance? 2,does your ocs Like their talent? This says a lot about them as people and feel free to go into detail why or why not they do. 3,do any of the cast have any character quirks? Be it in speech or otherwise
hey this looks fun :0
1:
Yuuki: i think its safe to say the many assortments of flowers she wears in her hair. while she isnt a gardener or anything, one of her siblings is, and they often send flowers to her. yuuki, in turn, usually mends them all into a flower crown, or even plain just puts a single flower into her hair.
Emica: when it comes to it, i suppose her traditional japanese arm band, symbolising her stance on the student council. her many different necklaces is a close competitor.
Arata: he dresses like he just walked out of a time loop from england 1930s. i think thats pretty noticeable-
Mitsuo: the unhealthily dark bags under his eyes, and the very pale skin which does not go well with his very bright, red hair.
Asuka: her very rich, haughty aura. and even though anyone would hate to admit it, shes borderline very attractive.
Manabu: he looks like he came from a very formal ball, not to mention it would be hard to miss the variety of shiny crystals he wears as bracelets.
Seiichi: at first glance, people might say he looks like he just had a ruffle with someone- but if you pay attention, he actually really is neat and tidy- aside from his tie.
Tamotsu: at first glance, people would probably compare him to indiana jones when it comes to his outfit choice. he doesnt deny these comparsions.
Kamiko: her sunhat, for sure. theyre usually wide brimmed, though fashionable. the second thing is probably the many ‘luck charms’ she wears as accesories.
Kenta: how he looks much stronger than he actually is. also his sneakers. everyone notices the sneakers. even if you arent a fan of footwear, you WILL notice his sneakers.
Chieko: chieko is very… ordinary looking. in fact, her normalness compared to any other ultimate is probably the first thing youll ever notice. it actually makes her stand out.
Masa: the first youll notice about masa is her sheer size of accesories. bracelets, rings, hair pins, and necklaces galore. if you pay enough attention, youll actually notice she and tamotsu have matching necklaces.
Fumiko: a notable thing about fumikos appearance is how… scandalous her outfit is. fumiko isnt shameful at all about how much skin shes exposing; though it never gets too crazy. usually. hopefully.
Kohaku: there is nothing really abnormal about kohaku, other then their very bright mint color scheme. the reading glasses hanging from a small chain on the front of their suit is also something noteworthy.
Aika: the first thing youll notice about aika is the fact that her coat is almost completely made out of buttons- each one she sewed onto it herself. for someone who youd expect look to have come out of the 1990s, she has a reasonable modern feel to her clothes.
Satoru: at first glance, you could see satoru as, to be frank, a vsco boy. his casual outfit, sunglasses, and jacket with many pins relating to saving the ocean can give off that feel. however, he resents the stereotypes of ‘vsco’. also, its hard to tell if his murky hair is either white or grey.
Usagi: the first thing youll notice about usagi is the fact she always looks like shes prepared for a hike. her backpack, casual but warm outfit wear, and always pulled up hair can give that impression.
2:
Yuuki: yuuki has a soft spot for her talent, considering how it dates back to her grandmother, and its always been something shes been experienced with. its fair to say yuuki likes her talent.
Emica: emica really doesnt consider herself worthy of her talent. the only reason she got it, afterall, is because of her dad, not to mention this fact has caused her a fair amount of nasty envy with her fellow classmates. still, she tries to honor her responsibility of being student council president. emica doesnt particularly like her talent.
Arata: if theres one thing arata is proud of, its his talent. hes been into history since he was a small child- and to have his research celebrated is his dream come true. he can, however, be a little cocky about it. he really does consider himself the best historian in history. arata likes, and is very proud of, his talent.
Mitsuo: he wont even tell anyone what his talent is. i wonder why…
Asuka: whether or not asuka enjoys her talent is left to debate. it is, however, for sure something she uses to her advantage. shes part of the main student council! of course everyone has to respect her, right? she also considers being the treasurer ‘finally’ a way to use her social skills and knowledge with mathematics to use. asuka likes her talent.
Manabu: manabu was always expected to be helpful in the study of outer space. his whole family line consisted of astronomers, astronauts, astrophysicists, and more. manabu had to choose his career at a young age, and he decided on astrogeology. this didnt mean manabu was stuck in the career. or, at least, he was, until an opportunity arrived. yet even when he got it, he decided not to take it. manabu always had a soft spot for astrogeology, though perhaps if he didnt have his current family line, he would have become the ultimate of a different talent. manabu likes his talent, though that may only be because of his history.
Seiichi: seiichis history of slam poetry goes all the way back to elementary. its his form of venting, if you will, as even though he comes across as nervous, his head is filled with anger at the world. but also hope, of making a new one. a better one. he considers being invited to attend sailing integrity was just a plus to his journey. seiichi likes his talent.
Tamotsu: tamotsu has been interested in tombs and the history of egypt for a long time. the closest thing he could find to fulfilling his interests was becoming a tour guide to show people around said tombs, and he found himself having fun, rehearsing facts and making the otherwise gloomy places bright. making tourists days a little more fun was good enough for him. tamotsu quite likes his talent.
Kamiko: kamikos talent was always something that she did as a fun hobby. sewing tapestries that told fascinating tales was always something she was invested in. and the many tales she sewed was really the only things that kept her company while she kept herself locked in her room. however, even if she likes her talent, she was not a fan of being recognized for it, and being coaxed by her parents to attend the academy. kamiko likes her talent, but isnt a fan of being the ‘ultimate’ of it.
Kenta: if we were being real here, kenta is very… neutral on his talent, which is weird for him. the way he learnt it is connected with bad memories, but doing it has always been refreshing to him. a way to run around, blow off steam. he supposes being called deemed the ‘ultimate’ of it isnt that bad. kenta likes his talent, for the majority.
Chieko: being the ultimate chemist wasnt chiekos first choice, but she takes it with dignity. chieko is neutral on her talent.
Masa: masas talent was born out of curiosity, and it grew from it. masas history of interpreting dreams is affiliated with many different emotions and memories. but for the most part, its been positive. she is very into the persona of it, and considers it a chance for her to act all mythical and wise. but, shes just really happy that she got to be a ultimate along with tamotsu. masa likes her talent, especially the attention she gets from it.
Fumiko: fumiko, probably, resents her talent the most out of the cast. its a very constant, confusing, love-hate relationship. she dislikes the title of ultimate lucky student, as she finds it cheesy, which is the whole reason why she calls herself a blackjack player. after talking to her for a bit, it becomes clear she doesnt want her talent to define her, and that she honestly couldnt care less about ultimates and the academies. her whole reason for applying to the lottery seems to stem from family reasons. while she dislikes the academy, she also takes any chance she can to pump her ego around her talent. its confusing, honestly. fumiko is not a fan of her talent.
Kohaku: kohakus murder mystery career started out as a coping method. however, they get very attached to every story and characters they make, putting love into every book, which is the whole reason they got recognized as the ultimate murder mystery novelist. kohaku has pride in becoming the ultimate murder mystery novelist, though they dont consider it a big deal. whether or not they became an ultimate wouldnt have any effect on the future of their career. theyll always write murder mysteries. kohaku likes their talent.
Aika: aika considers her becoming an ultimate a complete ‘accident’. aika isnt especially invested in vintage collecting- she just had a lot of old stuff she posted online, not even realising how old and valuable they really were, and the next thing she knew, the email and letter came. actually, the invitation to sailing integrity is what really made her consider making collecting old items a hobby. secretly, aika is a little insecure of her talent, finding it boring compared to others talents. aika likes her talent, but only to a certain point.
Satoru: satorus want to study the oceans animals has been active for a long time, especially since he was always close to water, considering his parents were fishermen. he finds the thought of the ocean being 95% explored to be highly interesting, and his goal is to crack down another 5% before he dies. becoming the ultimate of what he loved to do was very much a welcomed moment, especially with the promise that the academy would supply him with items that would help reinforce his talent. satoru has always been especially passionate about marine biology. satoru likes his talent.
Usagi: usagi is also very neutral when considering her talent. in fact, her talent is always at the back of her mind when introducing herself. usagi, truthfully, isnt a fan of most of the school referring to her as the ‘ultimate runaway’, considering how many of them paint it as a form of rebelling and thus delinquency. shes just a girl who likes taking sharing nature with the world whilst traveling, and wants others to see that as well. usagi is iffy on her talent.
3:
(hmmm im not sure what your definition of ‘quirks’ are, but here, have this:)
Yuuki: taps her foot an awful lot.
Emica: none visible.
Arate: can you consider writing almost everything down a quirk?
Mitsuo: taps surfaces whenever hes thinking.
Asuka: none visible.
Manabu: none visible.
Seiichi: as noted before, he tugs on his tie when hes nervous. also has a habit of rising his voice when he doesnt mean to.
Tamotsu: has more of an american dialect.
Kamiko: has the iconic danganronpa stutter, hides her face behind her hat.
Kenta: none visible.
Chieko: also has an american dialect, though hers is less apparent then tamotsus.
Masa: has a very cryptic way of speaking, except when she lets normal sentences slip through.
Fumiko: has a bit of a drawl to her voice.
Kohaku: none visible, surprisingly.
Aika: almost always moving, cannot stand completely still.
Satoru: rarely uses h’s if they are at the front of the word.
Usagi: has an unidentifiable accent.
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oops nik odds 🤷‍♀️
UR VALID ANON
1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?
Nik’s full name is Nikolas Isaac Arwaine
Nikolas means ‘victory of the people’ Isaac means ‘laughter’ and Arwaine, I took the Celtic god of the dead Arwan and added a few letters :)
It was chosen bec when i orginally was writing him, he was inspired by Nikolai Lant/sov in Grisha.
3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory? 
Nik had,,, an interesting childhood. HIs father wasn’t,,, outwardly abusive, perse. But he did lock his kids in places to get out (he broke nates hand bec nate wouldnt stop drawing). His mom taught him how to lie and his parents gave him whatever he wanted besides the one thing he Really wanted
He has fond memories of Adrien and his ohter brothers taking him to the ocean. He had fond memories of hanging out with Nate in Nates studio. One of his fave memories is Nate putting face paint on his face when he was a lil birb
A bad memory he has is getting so afraid of not being able to get out of a room, he threw himself into a panic attack and he was shaking and crying so hard that his dad was so damn disappointed in him that he didnt talk to Nik for a Long Time
5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?
he had Three (3) sibs. Blake, Adrien and Nate. 
He has a fairly easy going relationship with Blake and Nate. Tho he butts heads with Adrien a Lot. Blake and Nate’s relationship with Nik is kinda the same growing up, tho his and Adrien’s change. Nik used to idolize Adrien, now they just fight all the time
7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood? 
Nik,,, had more superficial friends than Friend Friends. People liked his money and his influence more than they liked him. Tho he is a very infectious person, so he probably does have friends, theyre just awful people who are flighty when things go Wrong
9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals? 
y’know I think Nik does like animals!! he likes all kinds of animals and would like a pet snake or spider but IM NOT GIVING HIM EITHER. He tries to pet Bay’s pet kitten but she claws the hell out of him :(
11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?the main requirement that Nik has is that he doesn’t like his food touching. He doesnt mind mixing his foods, like hot dogs and mac and cheese, but he doesn’t like them touching. He is also allergic to strawberries ;-;
13. What is their least favourite food?
peanut butter
15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?
Nik is actually very good at cooking!! Most of the time he hates it unless hes making something Big or baking something with Cameron, who stress bakes. Cameron secretly likes his cooking but he wont admit it
17. Do they like to take photos? What do they like to take photos of? Selfies? What do they do with their photos?
oh hell yeah!! Nik loves taking nudes pictures and sending them to cameron. His cell phone (if he had one) would be full of random pics of people and of places. MUCH PICTURES OF THE OCEAN. He has a bunch saved on his phone and he has some in photo albums and such
19. What’s their least favourite genres?
mmmm i think nonfiction would bore him, especially for industrial revolution area. I think he would actually really like scyfi and action. Absolutely would love anything that was just fast and action packed. he would fucking LOVE deadpool
Nik: if he backtalks he gets his head cut off but he comes back from the dead. if i backtalk im just DEAD. not fair :(
21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?
Nik absolUTELY has a temper. Its quick, its hot and he often makes an ass of himself. He’s not patient. He has,,, some patience, I guess. Where it counts. But it’s nowhere near as long as Nate’s.
When he loses his temper people get wounded or just DEAD. or he just makes an ass out of himself and has to apologize
23. Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces?
Nik has a somewhat good memory. HIs long term memory is much better tho. He’s much more visual and is better with faces.
25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?
NIk has the most juvinle sense of humor lol. But he also has a really fucking dark sense of humor when it calls for it. If someone is bleeding out, and they deserved it, hed laugh
well. he certainly thinks hes funny
27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?
Nik,,, doesn’t really get sad. He gets pissed. He tries hiding his tears, and he tries to not cry. He shoves negative emotions down so much (which is actually why hes such an angry dude :/)
WHen he does break down and cry Cam,,, tries to be comforting with him. They can get surprisingly soft
29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective? 
mmmm it would depend on the fear. Like if it was as Genuine fear (like his is) he wouldn’t tease them. But like,,, if it was something stupid hed absoluTELY tease them for it. He would get kinda protective about it, and would tell whoever it was bothering them to fuck off and leave them alone
31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?
DOES NIK DRINK LMAOOO YES YES HE DOES
Nik is mostly a cheerful drunk and hes a fucking idiot while hes drunk. Also is very slutty when hes drunk (tho when isnt he???)
Nik: hungover? I don’t know her. i just start drinking againMe: Nik pls
When ohter people are drunk hes,,, pretty relaxed about it and help them from making an ass out of themselves (tho tbh he would absolutely record them being an idiot). He would try to pry someone off him if they tried to undress him
Nik: yes yes i know i am hot. But unfortunately my conscious would not sit well if i took advantage of the situation :(
33. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?
Nik doesn’t wear underwear. 
Tho he has been known to try on lacy panties ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Nik: don’t judge they’re surprisingly comfy and make my ass look GREAT
35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure? 
ok Nik doesn’t have guilty pleasures. hes not going to feel guilty for likeing the things he does. His total unguilty pleausres is trashy television shows. He lovesss binge watching say yes to the dress for fucking hours while sprawled out on the couch eating oreos and stoned
37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?
Nik,,,, is not fond of reading. He is Dyslexic and he doesn’t like sitting still or being forced to focus. Tho,,, i think he might read, depending on what he was reading. 
fiction, absolutely fiction
39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging? 
mmmmmmmmmm messaging and emails. Much better bec he can read them better. Tho, he does like letters every now and then. Especially if theyre like,,, looove letters 
41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?
He is a slutty, slutty bisexual, my dude. Nik has a hand kink. he finds slender hands attractive. he likes,,,, cool eyes?? if that makes sense?? He finds people who are kinda,,, not,,, cold cold but cool and calmness attractive. That cool confidence, like a sheet of almost frozen water.
He finds delicate features attractive. Like fine bones, not brashness. Sharp as glass cheekbones, slender hands. Tall, not,,, too much muscle. (am i describing Cameron? MAYBE SO) NIk, upon meeting Cameron: oh no hes not
mentally, he finds confidence attractive. he finds assertiveness and dominance attractive. He likes someone who can command a fucking presence. He finds passion attractive. Someone that is so passionate and so devoted to something/one attractive
What does he like? he likes someone that will meet him halfway, who will want him, and that he will be enough for them. He has a bit of an inferiority complex  and he thinks that people will just get tired of him and he wants- he NEEDS- someone that he will be enough for, that they arent going to just bolt when things get rough. Which,,, is interesting bec Cameron,,, is Cameron and hes going to want to control the situation who is afraid fo feeling anything for anyone
43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?
Nik,,,, acknowledges that there are gods. But i would not call him religious. If he were in modern day, he might MIGHT be spiritual but he will joke and be like dude, im going to hell.
He thinks of religious people, and nonreligious people the same way. Believe what you want to believe, but don’t shove it down my throat
45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves? 
A lot of people see him as a lost cause, as some druggie who is going nowhere other than down. Some think that he’s just,,, lost. HIs dad sees him as his Son who just needs tough love and the right pressure to Honor His Family
Nik,,, sees himself as a hot guy, whos shallow and with money. People dont like him, they like his money and what he can do for them. 
47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?
mmmmmm Nik doesn’t like many formal occassions. He thinks theyre boring and people are fake as fuck. He Hates black tie wear and he only agrees to wear a tie if Cam uses it on him later ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
he hates chit chat but he does fucking love gossip. He’ll find a couple of people to hang out with and get the Dish
49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?
his lighter. Its a flip lighter with engravings on it, that Nate got him. He uses it when he gets anxious. That,,, is actually the reason Nate got it for him, tho Nate did not say that.
If nate said anything about Nik having any kind of disorder, Nik would shut him down instantly.
Tho, Nik does take it everywhere with him
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virtuissimo · 5 years
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Pride by Ibi Zoboi (Review)
This book is a modern retelling of the Jane Austen’s seminal classic Pride & Prejudice. Zuri Luz Benitez is a black Haitian-Dominican teenager in her senior year of high school whose identity is constructed around her life in Bushwick, a neighborhood with a tight community that is going through aggressive gentrification. Across the street, in one of the new gentrified houses, the Darcy family moves in, including twins Ainsley and Darius, two rich private-school boys sticking out like a fish out of water.
Zoboi’s adaptation creates amazing parallels when compared one-to-one with P&P, but it can’t hold its own very well. The writing is a simplistic and the characterization for most of the named characters is extremely one-dimensional. I was taken a bit by surprise when I found it in the youth section, and the simple writing makes me confused about the age of the intended audience. In any case, I didn’t have a bad time reading this, but I was expecting a lot more than I got.
To expand a little on the intended audience, I think my confusion is mostly because of the conflicting styles. On one hand, Zoboi’s prose is very simple and almost hamfisted in how she handles her characters and story. Other than some nice and age-appropriate poetry from Zuri herself, the rest of the book isn’t very elegant in writing quality. So I said to myself, ok I found it in the youth section. It’s intended for a younger audience. However, all the central characters are in their senior year of high school, and there are numerous allusions to sex and cusses that I’m not sure would fly in middle fiction. I think those who are in this reading level will find the characters too old and teenagery, while those who are the main character’s ages will find the prose to be lacking. Zuri in specific is a voracious reader, and she herself would not have the patience to enjoy reading this book which is far below her reading level.
It’s easier to read this book for what it’s supposed to be saying rather than what it is saying, if that makes any sense. For instance, Darius when he first shows up is quiet and doesn’t offer much information about himself, but he also wasn’t very rude or belligerent upon first impression. I know “prejudice” is half the thing, but Zuri really jumps the gun and kind of started the whole feud in the first place. It just wasn’t that believable that he was some jerk who deserved her hatred like it was with Elizabeth Bennet, and similarly it wasn’t very believable when she later learns that she just misinterpreted his social awkwardness.
Also, I thought it was interesting that the title removed the “prejudice” when to me that seemed like a much bigger aspect of this version than in Austen’s work. For instance, Darius makes a number of disparaging remarks about Bushwick and its “ghetto” people, but even before he makes these remarks Zuri already “hates” him based on stuff she made up about him in her head. And then later, when they begin to get closer, she actually never confronts him about his prejudice and just. Forgives and forgets.
She also forgives and forgets when it comes to Ainsley and Janae. This bothered me a lot more than some of my other nitpicking because it actually changes one of the important themes of P&P. Not that Zoboi doesn’t have the right to alter thematic elements—she absolutely does! But the theme of family and the fact that Zuri would do ANYTHING for her sisters is told to the reader through a lot of exposition, but we don’t actually see it. The moment in the car when she finds out that Darius split up Ainsley and Janae is really representative of that for me. She got angry in the moment, but she never actually investigates to find out WHY he did it like Elizabeth in P&P. On that note, later on when she forgives him, she never asks him to account for it again.
In fact, character motivation and appropriate emotional buildup was a recurring issue in this book. Nothing hit quite like I think Zoboi intended them to.
The talk on gentrification and class difference is good tho. Perhaps incomplete, but there’s only so much space. They really show how class plays a role in a variety of different circumstances and scenarios, and I think Zoboi succeeds here where others have failed.
Some of the parallels that I liked:
-          Warren and Colin took me OUT when they first appeared. You can really see what Zoboi thinks about Mr. Wickham and Mr. Collins from the original lol.
-          The tour of Howard instead of touring the Darcy home was very interesting to me. I think it was a great introduction to how she wasn’t expecting her world to expand so much, and that there’s a lot of different experiences in the world that she’s missing, and she gets introduced to this idea by people who AREN’T Darius and Ainsley. I really liked that.
-          The leopard print and “inappropriate dress” that the Benitez family wore to the Darcy cocktail party. It seems like a good way to show how respectability politics still play into the modern day, and it added a bit of character to the Benitez family as a prototypical Latinx family that I really enjoyed.
-          The Warren and Georgia situation was also a good way to translate this into the modern day.
-          P&P: In order to avoid scandal, Darcy pays for a marriage between a 16 year old and a 20-something known scumbag, and this is seen as a good thing because it saved the Bennet family. Zoboi’s Pride: Darius beats the shit out of Warren. I REALLY CRIED, THIS IS WHAT I WANT OUT OF AN ADAPTATION.
Things I didn’t like so much:
-          Ainsley x Janae is treated like a veeery minor side story instead of being a secondary plot. One of the big things in P&P is that Jane and Bingley are the prototypical pure love story and they think they are the main characters. Ainsley and Janae are not given much space to breathe in the narrative, and their relationship comes across as an afterthought instead of as one of the principal plot threads.
-          The diversion with Darius’ grandmother was also thrown in there like an afterthought. It didn’t add much to the story other than showing that Darius will side with Zuri when push comes to shove. It still felt like it took up a lot more time than it needed to if the grandmother wasn’t going to appear again at the end of the book like in the original. If it’s role to the plot was going to be minimized like that, I don’t really understand why it was included at all.
-          Charlise and Colin as a pair also felt out of place. In the original, Mr. Collins and Charlotte weren’t a major part of the story, but they contributed to the narrative that Austen wanted to tell about marriage and the different types of marriages that exist in English society at the time. Charlise and Colin don’t really have that effect on the story at all. Both characters are completely irrelevant to the plot (except Colin in the last possible moment), and they’re only really there to BE an adaptation.
-          Some of the plot beats were rearranged. I didn’t mind this so much since any number of directorial decisions are valid so long as the have a positive impact on the adaptation’s goal, but I didn’t really see how they added much.
One thing I REALLY liked was the addition of Madrina. I’m not sure if she’s a reference to something I don’t remember from the text or a completely original addition, but I thought she made for some really interesting moments. I especially loved how much connection Zuri felt with her Orisha worship and that they called her “daughter of Ochun.” I would change NOTHING about this, it was pure and really sweet.
One adaptation I WISH Zoboi had made was to have Zuri call out Darius’ hypocrisy. In P&P, the Bennetts are certainly in a different social class from Darcy and the Bingleys, but they’re ultimately still property owners in Britain. The stakes are different here. Darius keeps talking about how things in his life aren’t perfect just because he’s rich (which is absolutely true, especially when Zoboi starts getting into his experience as a black teenager surrounded by white classmates), but he is STILL not really understanding the difference in experience between himself and Zuri. The thing is, although she’s not right to judge Darius’ whole personality, she absolutely IS right about a lot of his privilege at the very beginning, but she kind of lets that go after a while. Zuri confronts Darius about his wealth many times, but to me at least it doesn’t really seem like she was able to convince him that his whole outlook on life is fundamentally different because of his wealth. Idk maybe I’m grasping at straws here. I just wish that Darius had actually talked about like . trying to persuade his parents to donate more to charity, or doing community service, or idk DISTRIBUTING THE WEALTH. Darius doesn’t change much in the story. At the beginning, he’s like “sorry im rich but lmfao you’re being mean to me!” and then at the end he is like “I am simply a rich boy, I cannot change this” which is barely a difference at all.
Anyways. I really didn’t hate this book. I wanted to like it a lot more than I did, which is why I have all these criticisms about it.
I recommend this to anyone who wants to read a thoughtprovoking discussion on class through the lens of one of history’s most overrated love stories (speaking as someone who loves P&P: yea it’s overrated). Read it for Zuri and Darius, who are totally different people from Elizabeth and Darcy. Read it for nostalgia, because even though I don’t know what it feels like to be one of 5 Afrolatine kids in Bushwick, I Felt that family affection.
3/5 for having great ideas but not such great execution.
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bloomvroom · 3 years
Text
vent poetry
anger issue stuff/vindictive fantasies due to cptsd regarding abuser
trigger warning for violence & gore I guess _ Youve been hanging around for a while now, its been some years since you raped me Its been some years since you begged me not to leave you since you asked me “Do you really want to throw all we are away over this?” right in the same day that you raped me
And I hoped id never see your face again after I cut you out of my life and I tried to heal but you wouldnt leave me alone Dragged you inside my mind to school cuz you stalked me outside my house always in presence, moved on my fucking street and you dont like letting go of me And you tore into my family, but yknow they already hated me cuz they didnt wanna believe my dad sexually abused me they already desperately wanted to call me a liar for sure, all to keep their blissfull facade of things being all fine, they just couldnt bring it over themselves to call a 13 year old little girl a liar right back when I cut my dad out of my life too cuz he tried to fucking rape me that one weekend in his new flat after mom left him Yeah youve been the chance they waited for, if it happened more than once, surely the girl is fucking lying right? You gave them the push they needed so they finally could set themselves free from pretending like they give a damn, so they called 16 year old me a liar, oh and you told them you raped me on accident, oh but like theyd have prefered it if you had that left part out but they made do with what you gave, I did some sorta roleplays with you, so you couldnt differniate, right? Doesnt matter that they never asked for my version of the events, or that you raped me out of nowhere, no sexual activity prior to it at all, no roleplay, nothing at all, they took it from there and came up with more excuses to explain away how obviously traumatized I am, my aunts husband said my mom didnt stop me from watching violent manga porn in my childhood and thats why im so fucked up now, I have no fucking clue where he got that from, for sure, but its quite of concerning that he knew I saw that sort of media in my childhood, but for real, my dad was the one actively telling me to go look up this sort of porn, after hes been showing me lolicon anime cuz he tried to groom me with it, after he instructed me to masturbate to hentai cuz he liked watching me, ah but whatever, they dont care abt that, do they?
Cuz they only care about the way youve came into their life and gave them the blessing of finally getting to call me a liar out loud, oh youve given them what they wanted, youre so buddy buddy now, and they never wanted to question how fucking creepy it is for a guy to actively befriend the family of a girl that has claimed shes been raped by the guy, how fucking weird it is that this girl went to a lawyer to get help cuz the guys been stalking her, and how they might be part of that stalking too, oh but why would ever question anything? anyhow? why would they?
They even let you move in with them, yeah why would the guy that shes accused of having raped her and stalking her wanna move in with her family after shes refused any sort of contact with him no matter how much he pushed for it? What kind of guy would do this knowing its gonna hurt her? its gonna devastate her? Yeah, what sort of powerhungry guy would - hey what again is rape most of the time motivated by? A hunger for power? A thirst for control? Mh, I wonder - I wonder how long you can hold your breath wasting your life creeping on me, over your inability to get over that I had the audacity to leave your ass after you raped me, thinking that id just move on and not leave u for it, oh for someone that obsessed about me for such a long time its like you barely even knew me,
And I know I should feel like crying when I think of it but all I feel is the shivering in my arms and legs from the adrenaline, and the waves of rage and violent urges that wash over me when I remember what the world let you get away with, when I remember my pathetic family and their farce when I remember how much of a dissapointment youve turned out to be, You should have really known so much fucking better than that, your own mother liked to get to close to you for comfort in your own childhood, you know what it feels like to be preyed on, yet you continued the cycle of abuse its pathetic, cuz I trusted you so much, trusted you in a world where barely anybody understands what its like if a parent sexually abuses you as a child, and you knew what its like, cuz it happened to you too, I trusted you to want to be better than that, I trusted that you wanted to heal and recover just like me, but boy was I wrong
You acted out on me, got triggered for sure, but you cant heal from what you refuse to see yourself as victimized of, you never liked accepting that what your mom did to you is really that bad, you held me so tightly and told me youd never let me go now that you know that I wont judge you for what youve been through, you cried in my arms that day, when we still were a couple, and you said somewhere you know what your mom did really counted as sexual abuse but you just cant let go of the illusion that she loves you, cant let go of the illusion that it wasnt even that bad, that it didnt count cuz only women can get victimized but that it feels so good to finally get to feel vulnerable, and youd never let go of me, and you do everything to make sure what happened to me never repeats
few months later you raped me’ and now youre crying out loud for gods sake just leave me the fuck alone, I cant cope with the amount of urges to murder you I get, but sadly enough I know thats sorta what youre getting at here, I know deep inside you just hope I snap and kill you cuz you cant get what you did out of you, cant get what she did to you out of you and now youre turning it around on me, and you hate me so vehemently hate me for leaving you, hate me for having been kind to you before, yeah, hate me cuz you cant have me, hate me cause you hate yourself, hate me cause youd like to end your miserable life cuz you know you cant take back what you did, well ive no sympathy for you You can beg, and you can threaten and all I do is fantasize about gutting you like a fish, I wanna cut the skin on your back open and unfold it so you can be the angel youve always wanted to be, I wanna stitch that lying mouth of yours shut, I wanna break all your fingers so you regret having ever touched me with them in those ways, I want to step on your body as its bleeding out, I wanna crush your bones with heavy shoes, I wanna hear you break like you tried to break me that day, I wanna stuff your throat full of white feathers so you can know what it felt like to be called “purity in person” too, try coughing up how you really feel, Id like to see you try, put you on a pedastal like you put me with a noose round your neck so you can know how graceful this fall is’
Purity isnt something you can steal, you shouldnt have tried to from me, Purity is something thats not as real as people pretend it is, the childhood innocence you miss, you should admit to why you feel that way, but im out of patience to give advice, youll only obsess over, like you used to, Im saying it now, the only fantasies ive got with you anymore are those in which I torture and kill you for every day you overstayed, for every day you sabotaged me and my life, when you came into my life, and when you left me bruised and more broken than ive ever been before, sabotaged the way I tried to go to school and graduate, stalking me like you did, I tried my best to succeed in life even as you kept trying to drag me down, I kept going anyway, and I did good in my own way, I kept going slower, slower, slower, but I still went my way you could slow me down, but you could never get me to stop never get me to give up, This is one hell of a sick game youve been playing with me, why cant you just accept it? You raped me and theres no second chance after that, You can deny it, try to act like you didnt, but I know you hate yourself for it, dont make it my issue, it makes me so sick when you think I could ever feel anything more for you at this point, more than the urge to grab a knife and slice your throat just to finally put an end to this, an end to this you and me havent been a thing since we’ve been sixteen, but you feel me with such violent shine when my mind goes dark cuz youve been trying to trap me in my own room full of fear cuz you keep reminding me of the way you raped me, oh and I feel like a tiger in a cage, like a tiger in a cage and im about to rip you open with my teeth, But theyd never understand the amount of damage youve dealt to me, would they? Id be the “bad one” So why dont you do me a favour and just kill yourself? You keep clinging to a possible future you had envisioned with me, but I never agreed to that, I always told you if you do something that hurts me, ill leave ya’ and you didnt even think id really do it, I promised you to stay with you for life unless you do something thatll hurt me real bad, you promised you never would, looks like you broke our promise and yet your the one crying out loud feeling the need to make me feel just how angry you are cuz I had the audacity not to stay in an relationship with my rapist
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book-disorder · 6 years
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Reading Meme
Thanks so much @obscure-affection for tagging me. I’m in a real reading slump at the moment, but Im trying to work my way out of, and focused thinking about books can’t hurt.
1. Which book has been on your shelves the longest?
Periodically I do clean outs of books I don’t want to reread anymore, so I don’t think I have many super old ones. Probably my copy of The Hobbit would be the oldest. I got it in high school, and I’m always thinking about rereading it.
2. What is your current read, your last read and the book you’ll read next?
I’m currently reading a couple of books; The Days of Abandonment by Elena Ferrante, When the Sick Rule the World by Dodie Bellamy, and I just started The Broken Kingdoms by N.K. Jemisin.
I last read, well reread Dept of Speculation by Jenny Offill
I’m going to start next The Guardians by Sarah Manguso
3. Which book does everyone like and you hated?
I have a whole thing about Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. I slogged through the whole thing because of how people raved about it, one friend in particular, and it just was so self serving and bullshit. It wasnt a good novel, it wasnt a good philosophy, it just was a terrible book.
4. Which book do you keep telling yourself you’ll read, but you probably won’t?
I have it in my head that I “should” read all the victorian era womens classics, in like solidarity for women writers, all the George Elliots, and Jane Austens, and Bronte sisters, and Elizabeth Gaskells. But I just, I mean I’ve read a couple of them, and some of the short stories. Theyre okay. I liked the ghost nun in Villette, but you have to slog through so much other stuff to get to the good stuff in them. And I just don’t know that I will ever actually read them all.
5. Which book are you saving for “retirement?”
none. Thats a weird concept for me. Saving until I have.. time? Until I’m so bored I will read anything? I don’t save books, I just read them when they catch me and I have access to them.
6. Last page: read it first or wait till the end?
I only ever think to look ahead if the book is getting slow or I’m thinking of putting it down. I don’t mind the idea of spoilers or whatever though. I feel like, if the getting there isn’t interesting enough in its own right, then the outcome isn’t worth anything anyway.
7. Acknowledgements: waste of ink and paper or interesting aside?
They can be interesting, sometimes you recognise names of other authors and don’t realise they know each other, sometimes they can reveal more about the way a book came about, difficulties or whatever. I think authors don’t think its a waste of ink.
8. Which book character would you switch places with?
None. I don’t want to live a life that would make a good book, it sounds very stressful.
9. Do you have a book that reminds you of something specific in your life (a person, a place, a time)?
I remember vividly reading a small paperback copy of Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger while sitting on some steps at uni waiting for a lecture theatre to open up, and trying so hard to concentrate on the book instead of my (at the time) crippling fear of being trapped in a room full of people for hours. It was a poor choice of books, I don’t think I stayed in the lecture very long that day.
10. Name a book you acquired in some interesting way.
I stole a copy of The Book Thief by Marcus Zuzak when I was a teenager, no one tell the cops
11. Have you ever given away a book for a special reason to a special person?
Not really. I lend books, and buy them as gifts. But I don’t tend to give away my own copies.
12. Which book has been with you to the most places?
The most different places, The Book of Disquiet by Fernando Pessoa - I carried that around Europe, despite barely reading it.
13. Any “required reading” you hated in high school that wasn’t so bad ten years later?
I liked most of the books we had to read in school. Except Seamus Heaneys poetry and a book about a teenager sailing around the world. I havent revisited either. I think I might come around on Heaney but the sailing book was very poorly written.
14. What is the strangest item you’ve ever found in a book?
mostly receipts or little notes, nothing interesting
15. Used or brand new?
Used for price reasons. Although I really dont mind. As long as a books pages havent gone yellow, I’m pretty happy.
16. Stephen King: Literary genius or opiate of the masses?
I’ve only read one book by him. It was okay. His horror writing isnt my jam.
17. Have you ever seen a movie you liked better than the book?
I definitely have. But I’m totally blanking on what it is now. Oh Practical Magic. I read the book after seeing the movie a dozen times, and was like.. this is a totally different thing. Its hard when you see the movie first though, and love it. I think there have been others though.
18. Conversely, which book should NEVER have been introduced to celluloid?
I can’t think of anything specific. But I think often stories which feature a lot of internal dialogue and not much interaction are translated poorly into movies. Voice-overs and monologues can be overused.
19. Have you ever read a book that’s made you hungry, cookbooks being excluded from this question?
no, not that I can recall. Food descriptions don’t really do much for me. Sometimes a description of a landscape can make me want to be outside noticing nature though? If thats a similar compulsion?
20. Who is the person whose book advice you’ll always take?
I wish I talked to more people about books these days. I still want to join a book club. I think I take most peoples book advice, especially if I know we have book loves in common. But I also know that even the most similar tastes diverge a lot.
This was a lot of fun. Thanks @obscure-affection , I appreciate that you thought of me for this :)
I’m not gonna tag anyone because its huge, but if you want to do it please tag me so I can read it!
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suchagiantnerd · 5 years
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54 Books, 1 Year
2018 was my first full year back at work after my mat leave, and thanks to all the time I spend on the subway, my yearly reading total is back up to over 50 books!
2018 was a dark year, and I made a conscious effort to read more books from authors on the margins of society. The more those of us with privilege take the time to listen to and learn from these voices, the better we’ll be as friends, colleagues and citizens.
You’ll also notice a lot of books about witchcraft and witches in this year’s list. What can I say? Dark times call for resorting to ANYTHING that can help dig us out of our current reality, including putting a hex on Donald Trump.
Trigger Warning: Some of the books reviewed below are about mental illness, suicide, domestic violence, sexual assault, and violence against people of colour, Indigenous people and people in the LGBTQ community.
Here are this year’s mini reviews:
1.       The Lottery and Other Stories / Shirley Jackson
Jackson’s short stories were published in the late forties and fifties, but their slow-burning creep factor holds up today. The stories involve normal people doing normal things until something small gives, and we realize something is really wrong here. As you read through the collection, take note of the mysterious man in blue. He appears in about half of the stories, always in the margins of the action. Who is he? I read him as a bit of a trickster figure, bringing chaos and mayhem with him wherever he goes. Other people have read him as the devil himself. Let me know what you think!
2.       The Ship / Antonia Honeywell
I was excited to read this YA novel about a giant cruise ship-turned-ark, designed and captained by the protagonist Lalla’s father in a dystopic near future. The premise of the book is great and brings up lots of juicy questions – where is the ship going? How long can the passengers survive together in a confined space? How did Lalla’s father choose who got to board the ship? But the author’s execution was a disappointment and focused far too much on Lalla’s inner turmoil and immaturity.
3.       The Hot One: A Memoir of Friendship, Sex and Murder / Carolyn Murnick
My book club read this true crime memoir detailing the intense, adolescent friendship between Carolyn, the author, and Ashley, who was murdered in her home in her early 20s a few years after the girls��� friendship fizzled. Murnick is understandably destroyed by the murder and obsessed with the killer’s trial. The narrative loops back and forth between the trial and the girls’ paths, which diverged sharply after Ashley moved away in high school. Murnick (the self-proclaimed nerdy one) muses on the intricacies of female friendship, growing up under the microscope of the male gaze, and the last weekend she ever spent with Ashley (the hot one). This is an emotional, detailed account of a woman trying her best to bear witness to her friend’s horrific death and to honour who she was in life.
4.       The Break / Katherena Vermette
Somebody is brutally attacked on a cold winter night in Winnipeg, and Stella, a young Métis woman and tired new mother is the only witness – and even she isn’t sure what she saw. The police investigation into the attack puts a series of events in motion that make long-buried emotions bubble to the surface and ripple outwards to touch a number of people in the community, including an Indigenous teenager recently released from a youth detention center, one of the investigating officers (a Métis man walking a fine line between two worlds), and an artist. This is a tough read, especially in the era of #MMIW and #MeToo, but all the more important because of it.
5.       So You Want to Talk About Race / Ijeoma Oluo
Probably the most important book I read this year, I will never stop recommending this read to anyone and everyone. This is your Allyship 101 syllabus right here, folks. Do you really want to do better and be better as an ally? Then you need to read every chapter closely and start implementing the lessons learned right away. This book will teach you about tone policing, microaggressions and privilege, and how all of those things are harmful to people of colour and other marginalized communities.
6.       The Accusation / Bandi
This is a collection of short stories by a North Korean man (written under a pseudonym for his protection as he still lives there). The stories were actually smuggled out of the country for publication by a family friend. The characters in these stories are regular people living regular lives (as much as that is possible in North Korea). What really comes across is the fine line between laughter and tears while living under the scrutiny of a dangerous regime. There are several scenes where people laugh uncontrollably because they can’t cry, and where people start to cry because they can’t laugh. This book offers a rare perspective into a hidden world.
7.       Being Jazz: My Life as a (Transgender) Teen / Jazz Jennings
Some of you will be familiar with Jazz via the TLC show about her and her family, “I Am Jazz”. I’d never seen it but was inspired to read the book to gain a better understanding about what coming out as trans as a child is like. Jazz came out to her family at 5 years old (!) and her parents and siblings have had her back from the beginning. If you are still having a tough time understanding that trans women are women, full stop, this book will help get you there.
8.       A Field Guide to Getting Lost / Rebecca Solnit
When it comes to the books that gave me “all the feels”, this one tops the 2018 list. Solnit is everything - historian, writer, philosopher, culture lover, explorer. Her mind is always making connections and as you follow her through her labyrinthine thoughts you start to feel connected too. Her words on loss, nostalgia and missing a person/place/time actually made me cry, they were so true. For me, an agnostic leaning towards atheism, she illuminated the magic in the everyday that made me feel more spiritually rooted to life than I have in a long time.
9.       I Found You / Lisa Jewell
Lots of weird and bad things seem to happen in British seaside towns, don’t they? This is another psychological thriller, à la “The Girl on the Train” and “Gone Girl”. One woman finds a man sitting on the beach one morning. He has no idea who he is or how he got there. Miles away, another woman wakes up one morning to find her husband has vanished. Is the mystery man on the beach the missing husband? Dive into this page-turner and find out!
10.   The Midnight Sun / Cecilia Ekbäck
This novel is the sequel to a historical Swedish noir book I read a few years ago. Though it’s not so much a sequel, as it is a novel taking place in the same setting – Blackasen Mountain in Lapland. This story actually takes place about a hundred years after the first novel does, so it can be read on its own. Ekbäck’s stories dive into the effect of place on people – whether it’s the isolation of a harsh and long winter or the mental havoc caused by the midnight sun on sleep patterns, the people on Blackasen Mountain are always strained and ready to explode. (Oh, and there’s also a bit of the supernatural happening on this mountain too – but just a bit!)
11.   After the Bloom / Leslie Shimotakahara
Strained mother-daughter relationships. The PTSD caused by immigration and then being detained in camps in your new home. Fraught romances. Shimotakahara’s novel tackles all of this and more. Taking place in two times – 1980s Toronto and a WWII Japanese internment camp in the California desert – this story of loss, hardship, betrayal and family is both tragic and hopeful.
12.   Company Town / Madeline Ashby
In this Canadian dystopian tale, thousands of people live in little cities built on the oil rigs off the coast of Newfoundland. Hwa works as a bodyguard for the family that owns the rigs and is simultaneously trying to protect the family’s youngest child from threats, find out who is killing her sex-worker friends, mourn her brother (who died in a rig explosion), and work through her own self-esteem issues. Phew! If it sounds like too much, it is. I really did like this book, but I think it needed tighter editing and focus.
13.   The Power / Naomi Alderman
In the near-future, women and girls all over the world develop the ability to send electrical shocks out of their hands. With this newfound power, society’s gender power imbalance starts to flip. The U.S. military scrambles to try and work this to their advantage. A new religious movement starts to grow. And Tunde, a Nigerian photographer (and a dude!) travels the world, trying to document it all. This is an exciting novel that seriously asks, “what if?” in which many of the key characters cross paths.
14.   Milk and Honey / Rupi Kaur
Everyone’s reading it, so I had to too! Kaur’s poems are refreshing and healing, and definitely accessible. This is poetry for the people, for women, for daughters, mothers and sisters. These are poems about how women make themselves small and quiet, about our inner anger, about sacrifice, longing and love.
15.   Tell It to the Trees / Anita Rau Badami
In the dead of winter in small-town B.C., the body of big-city writer Anu is found outside of the Dharmas’ house, frozen to death. Anu had been renting their renovated shed, working on a novel in seclusion. As we get to know the Dharmas – angry and controlling Vikram, his quiet and frightened wife Suman, the two children, and the ghost of Vikram’s first wife, Helen, we feel more and more uneasy. Was Anu’s death just a tragic accident, or something else entirely? There is a touch of “The Good Son” in this novel…
16.   You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life / Jen Sincero
This book was huge last year and my curiosity got the better of me. But I can’t, I just can’t subscribe to this advice! All of this stuff about manifesting whatever you want reeks of privilege and is just “The Secret” repackaged for millennials and Gen-Z. Thank u, next!
17.   All the Things We Never Knew: Chasing the Chaos of Mental Illness / Sheila Hamilton
Shortly after a diagnosis of bipolar disorder, Hamilton’s husband, David, took his own life after years of little signs and indicators that something wasn’t right. Her memoir, in the aftermath of his death, is a reckoning, a tribute, and a warning to others. In it, she details the fairy tale beginning of their relationship (but even then, there were signs), the birth of their only child, and the rocky path that led to his final choice. Hamilton’s story doesn’t feel exploitative to me. It’s an important piece in the global conversation about mental health and includes lots of facts and statistics too.
18.   This Is How It Always Is / Laurie Frankel
This is a beautiful novel about loving your family members for who they are and about the tough choices parents have to make when it comes to protecting their children. Rosie and Penn have five boys (that this modern couple has five children is the most unbelievable part of the plot, frankly), but at five years old, their youngest, Claude, tells the family that he is a girl. Claude changes her name to Poppy, and Rosie and Penn decide to move the whole family to more inclusive Seattle to give Poppy a fresh start in life. Of course, the move has consequences on the other four children as well, and we follow everybody’s ups and downs over the years as they adjust and adapt to their new reality.
19.   Dumplin’ / Julie Murphy
While I didn’t love the writing or any of the characters, I do need to acknowledge the importance of this YA novel in showing a fat teenager as happy and confident in who she is. Willowdean Dickson has a job, a best friend and a passion for Dolly Parton. She also catches the attention of cute new kid, Bo, and a sweet summer romance develops between the two (with all of the miscommunications and misunderstandings you’d expect in a YA plot). This is an important book in the #RepresentationMatters movement, and is now a Netflix film if you want to skip the read!
20.   Kintu / Jennifer Nansubuga Makumbi
This was touted as “the great Ugandan novel” and it did not disappoint! The first part of the novel takes place in 1754, as Kintu Kidda, leader of a clan, travels to the capital of Buganda (modern day Kampala) with his entourage to pledge allegiance to the new Kabaka. During the journey, tragedy strikes, unleashing a curse on Kintu’s descendants. The rest of the novel follows five modern-day Ugandans who are descended from Kintu’s bloodline and find themselves invited to a massive family reunion. As their paths cross and family histories unfold, will the curse be broken?
21.   The Child Finder / Rene Denfeld
I bought this at the airport as a quick and thrilling travel read, and that’s exactly what it was. Naomi is a private investigator with a knack for finding missing and kidnapped children. This is because she was once a kidnapped child herself. The plot moves back and forth in time between Naomi’s current case and her own escape and recovery. There was nothing exceptional about this book, but it’s definitely a page-turner.
22.   Difficult Women / Roxane Gay
Are the women in Gay’s short stories actually difficult? Or has a sexist, racist world made things difficult for them? I think you know what my answer is. The stories are at times beautiful - like the fairy tale about a woman made of glass, and at times violent and visceral – like a number of stories about hunting and butchering. Women are everything and more.
23.   My Education / Susan Choi
I suggested this novel to my book club and I will always regret it. This was my least favourite read of the year. I thought it was going to be about a sexy and inappropriate threesome or love triangle between a student, her professor, and his wife. Instead it had a few very unsexy sex scenes and hundreds and hundreds of pages about the minutiae of academic life. I can’t see anyone enjoying this book except English professors and grad students.
24.   Hope in the Dark: Untold Histories, Wild Possibilities / Rebecca Solnit
This series of essays was a balm to my soul after Ford won the provincial election. It reminded me that history is full of steps forward and steps back, and though things look bleak right now, there are millions of us around the world trying to make positive changes in big and little ways as we speak.
25.   The Woman in Cabin 10 / Ruth Ware
Another novel in the vein of “The Woman on the Train”, that is, a book featuring a young, female, unreliable narrator. Lo knows what she saw – or does she? There was a woman in the now empty Cabin 10 – or was there? And also, Lo hasn’t been eating or sleeping. But she’s been drinking a lot and not taking her medication. I’m kind of done with this genre – anyone else?
26.   My Brilliant Friend / Elena Ferrante
After hearing many intelligent women praise this novel (the first in a four-part series), my book club decided to give it a try. I didn’t fall in love with it, but I was sufficiently intrigued by the intense and passionate friendship between Lila and Lenu, two young girls growing up in post-war Naples, that I will likely read the whole series. Many claim that no writer has managed to capture the intricacy of female friendship the way that Ferrante has.
27.   The Turquoise Table: Finding Community and Connection in Your Own Front Yard / Kristin Schell
This is Schell’s non-fiction account of how she started Austin’s turquoise table movement (which has now spread further into other communities). Schell was feeling disconnected from her immediate community, so she painted an old picnic table a bright turquoise, moved it into her front yard, and started sitting out there some mornings, evenings and weekends - sometimes alone, and sometimes with her family. Neighbours started to gather for chats, snacks, card games, and more. People got to know each other on a deeper level and friendships bloomed. This book is a nice reminder that small actions matter. A small warning though – Schell is an evangelical Christian, and I didn’t know this before diving in. There is a focus on Christianity in the book, and though it’s not quite preachy, it’s very in-your-face.
28.   Sing, Unburied, Sing / Jesmyn Ward
This was hands-down my favourite novel of the year. It’s a lingering and haunting look at the generational trauma carried by the descendants of those who were enslaved and lived during the Jim Crow era. One part road trip novel, one part ghost story, the plot follows a fractured, multi-racial family as they head into the broken heart of Mississippi to pick up the protagonist’s father, who has just been released from prison.
29.   Full Disclosure / Beverley McLachlin
This is the first novel by Canada’s former Chief Justice, Beverley McLachlin. As someone who works in the legal industry and has heard her speak, I couldn’t wait to get my hands on this. But, with all due respect to one of the queens, the book was very ‘meh’. The plot was a little over the top, the characters weren’t sufficiently fleshed out, and I felt that the backdrop of the Robert Pickton murders was somewhat exploitative and not done respectfully. Am I being more critical of this novel than I might otherwise be because the author is so intelligent? Likely yes, so you can take this review with a grain of salt.
30.   The Long Way Home / Louise Penny
This is the 10th novel in Penny’s Inspector Gamache mystery series. As ever, I fell in love with her descriptions of Quebec’s beauty, the small town of Three Pines, and the delicious food the characters are always eating. Penny’s books are the definition of cozy.
31.   In the Skin of a Lion / Michael Ondaatje
Ondaatje has the gift of writing novels that read like poetry, and this story is no exception. Taking place in Toronto during construction of the Don Valley bridge and the RC Harris water treatment plant, the plot follows a construction worker, a young nun, an explosives expert, a business magnate and an actress as they maneuver making a life for themselves in the big city and changing ideas about class and gender.
32.   The Story of a New Name / Elena Ferrante
This is the second novel in Ferrante’s four-part series about the complicated life-long friendship between Lila and Lenu. In this installment, the women navigate first love, marriage, post-secondary education, first jobs and new motherhood.
33.   The Happiness Project / Gretchen Rubin
In this memoir / self-help book, Rubin studies the concept of happiness and implements a new action or practice each month of the year that is designed to increase her happiness levels. Examples include practicing gratitude, going to bed earlier, making time for fun and learning something new. Her journey inspired me to make a few tweaks to my life during a difficult time, and I do think they’ve made me more appreciative of what I have (which I think is a form of happiness?)
34.   The Virgin Suicides / Jeffrey Eugenides
I loved the film adaptation of this novel when I was a teenager, but I’d never actually read it until my book club selected it. Eugenides paints a glimmering, ethereal portrait of the five teenaged Lisbon sisters living a suffocating half-life at the hands of their overly protective and religious parents. The story is told through the eyes of the neighbourhood boys who longed for them from a distance and learned about who they were through snatched telephone calls, passed notes and one tragic suburban basement party.
35.   Time’s Convert / Deborah Harkness
This is a supernatural fantasy novel that takes place in the same universe of witches, vampires and daemons as Harkness’ All Souls trilogy. The plot follows the romance between centuries-old vampire Marcus, who came of age during the American Civil War, and human Phoebe, who begins her own transformation into a vampire so that she and Marcus can be together forever.
36.   The Saturday Night Ghost Club / Craig Davidson
Were you a fan of the TV show “Are You Afraid of the Dark?” If yes, this novel is for you. Davidson explores the blurred line between real-life tragedy and ghost story over the course of one summer in 1980s Niagara Falls. A coming-of-age novel that’s somehow sweet, funny and sad all at once, this story delves into the aftershocks of trauma and the way we heal the cracks in families.
37.   Oh Crap! Potty Training: Everything Modern Parents Need to Know to Do It Once and Do It Right / Jamie Glowacki
I hoped this was the book for us, but I don’t think it was. Some of the tips were great, but others really didn’t work for us. The other issue is that the technique in this book is much better suited to kids staying at home with a caregiver, not kids in daycare.
38.   The Witch Doesn’t Burn in This One / Amanda Lovelace
This is a collection of poetry about women’s anger, women’s long memories and strength in sisterhood. It’s accessible, emotional and a bit of a feminist rallying cry. As someone who is obsessed with the Salem witch trials, I also loved the historical backdrop to the poems.
39.   The Rules of Magic / Alice Hoffman
I love to read seasonally, and this prequel to “Practical Magic” was a perfect October book. Remember Jet and Franny, the old, quirky aunts from the movie? This novel describes their upbringing, along with that of their brother Vincent, as the three siblings discover their powers and try to out-maneuver the Owens family curse.
40.   Witch: Unleased. Untamed. Unapologetic. / Lisa Lister
This book has a very sleek, appealing cover. Holding it made me feel magical. Reading it really disappointed me. From Lister’s almost outright transphobia to her unedited, repetitive style, this was a huge disappointment and I don’t recommend it.
41.   The Death of Mrs. Westaway / Ruth Ware
I liked this novel a lot more than Ware’s other novel, “The Woman in Cabin 10”. Crumbling English manor homes, long-buried family evils and people trapped together by snowstorms are my jam.
42.   Weirdo / Cathi Unsworth
Another British seaside town, another grisly murder. Jumping back and forth between a modern-day private investigation and the parental panic around cults and Satanism in the 1980s, Unsworth unpacks the darkness lurking within a small community and the way society’s outcasts are often used as scapegoats. The creep factor grows as the story unfolds.
43.   Mabon: Rituals, Recipes and Lore for the Autumn Equinox / Diana Rajchel
And so begins my witchy education. I have to admit, I really liked learning about the historical pagan celebrations and superstitions surrounding harvest time. I also liked reading about spells and incantations… ooooOOOOoooo!
44.   From Here to Eternity: Travelling the World to Find the Good Death / Caitlin Doughty
In North America, we are so removed from death that we are unequipped to process it when someone close to us dies. But this doesn’t have to be the case. In this non-fiction account, Doughty, a mortician based in L.A., travels the world learning about the business of death, the cultural customs around mortality, and the rituals of care and compassion for the deceased in ten different places. It seems that the closer we are to death, the less we’ll fear it, and the better-equipped we’ll be to process loss and grief in healthy ways.
45.   Samhain: Rituals, Recipes and Lore for Halloween / Diana Rajchel
Did you know that Samhain is actually pronounced “Sow-en”? I didn’t until I read this book, and felt very intelligent indeed, when later, while watching “The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina” on Netflix, the head witch pronounced the word as “Sam-hain”, destroying the writers’ credibility in one instant. I am a witch now.
46.   See What I Have Done / Sarah Schmidt
This novel is a retelling of the Lizzie Borden murders, illuminated through four characters – Lizzie herself, the Borden’s maid Bridget, Lizzie’s sister, and a mysterious man hired the day before the murders by Lizzie’s uncle to intimidate Mr. Borden (one of the murder victims). I knew very little about the murders before reading this book, but this version of the tale strongly suggests that Lizzie really is the murderer. Unhinged, childlike, selfish and manipulative, I hated her so much and felt awful for everyone that had to live in her orbit.
47.   The Nature of the Beast / Louise Penny
In the 11th installment of Penny’s Inspector Gamache mystery series, she sets the story up with a parallel to the boy who cried wolf and introduces us to her first killer without a soul. Crimes of passion and greed abound in Penny’s universe, but a crime of pure, cold evil? This is a first.
48.   How Are You Going to Save Yourself? / J.M. Holmes
This is a powerful collection of short stories about what it’s like to be a Black man in America right now. It’s about Black male friendship, fathers and sons, outright racism and dealing with a lifetime of microaggressions. Holmes makes some risky and bold decisions with his characters, even playing into some of the harmful stereotypes about Black men while subverting some of the others. This book really stayed with me. One disturbing story in particular I kept turning around and around in my mind for days afterward.
49.   Split Tooth / Tanya Tagaq
This is a beautiful story about a young Inuit girl growing up in Nunavut in the 1970s, combining gritty anecdotes about bullying, friendship, family and addiction with Inuit myth, legend, and the magic of the Arctic. The most evocative and otherworldly scenes in the novel took place under the Northern Lights and left me kind of mesmerized.
50.   Motherhood / Sheila Heti
Heti’s book is a work of fiction styled as a memoir, during which the protagonist, nearing her 40s, weighs the pros and cons of having a baby. I’ve maybe never felt so “seen” by an author before. I agonized over the decision about whether to have a baby for years before finally making a decision. The unsatisfying, but freeing conclusion that both the author and I came to is that for many of us there is no right choice (but no wrong choice either).
51.   The Mistletoe Murder and Other Stories / P.D. James
This is a short collection of James’ four “Christmas-y” mysteries published over the course of a number of years. It was a perfect cozy read to welcome the holiday season.
52.   The Christmas Sisters / Sarah Morgan
Morgan’s story is a Hallmark holiday movie in book form. A family experiencing emotional turmoil at Christmas? Check. Predictable romances, old and new? Check. A beautiful, festive setting? Check. (In this case, it’s a rustic inn nestled in the Scottish Highlands). This novel is fluff, but the most delightful kind.
53.   Jonny Appleseed / Joshua Whitehead
Jonny is a Two-Spirit Ojibway-Cree person who leaves the reservation in his early 20s to escape his community’s homophobia and make it in the city. Making ends meet as a cybersex worker, the action begins when he has to scrape together enough cash to make it home to the “rez” (and all the loose ends he left behind there) for a funeral. The emotional heart of the novel are Jonny’s relationships with his kokum (grandmother) and his best friend / part-time lover Tias.
54.   Yule: Rituals, Recipes and Lore for the Winter Solstice / Susan Pesznecker
Do you folks believe that I’m a witch now? I am, okay? I even spoke an incantation to Old Mother Winter while staring into the flame of a candle after reading this book.
55.   Half Spent Was the Night: A Witches’ Yuletide / Ami McKay
Old-timey witches? At Christmas time? At an elaborate New Year’s Eve masked ball? Be still my heart. This novella was just what I wanted to read in those lost days between Christmas and New Year’s. You’ll appreciate it even more if you’ve already read Ami McKay’s previous novel “The Witches of New York”, as it features the same characters.
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mariniacipher · 7 years
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Lord of Monte Christo
Okay, so I read the, like, first five hundred pages of that HORRID book and it was a while ago, but I just remebered an im still so annoyed at that piece of garbage, so get ready for my list
The fucking sexism. Seriously, I dont care about the time period, if you think women are so unimportant? LEAVE THEM OUT OF YOUR WORK! Seriously, this girl, the daughter of a businessman, really smart, easy on the eyes, had her loverboy and a good life, apparently on good terms with her dad. So guess what her development is! Cuz we get like three chapters/sixty pages with that useless waste of space and about how her dad has to pay his debts in time. Only for her boyfriend to explain to her, that if hes nit able to pay his bills, he'll loose his credibility and lose his business. After this girl had MONTHS to worry about it, literal MOUNTHS she didnt come to that conclusion, she needed her bf to spell it out for her (in German it's even more insulting) okay, but theres more! Her decisive moment is her choosing to let her fiance to be rule her life instead of her dad. Thats it. I just.... im done
Racism! Isnt it great if you always wanted a Black slave and see that a guy played voyeur and is supposed to be killed for that? And he's black? Yay! So, because OUR HERO always wanted a mute slave, he let policeman in that city do that, only to Then rescue the Black Guy and have his undying loyalty and obedience. Really. And the guy knows it, our hero brags about it at dinner with some other aristocratic jerkface. And that's all the character he gets. He probably dies somewhere
Jews! Dont need to differentiate, theyrevall the same! Who cares if you talked to two different people or only one? I sure dont, cuz its jews and theyre all the same, right? (Note heavy sarcasm)
The fucking characterizations. Seriously, five hundred pages in and I still had no real grasp on any characters in this CHARACTER DRIVEN narrative. Like, I should be able to understand a character I spend pretty much five hundred pages with, but no. He has no character I could think of. He was naive and optimistic at first, but then??? Hes in prison and gets taught by this Italian guy (I liked him. He had the most personality) and is apparently a genius and learns like, all the languages, and learns maths and science and poetry and what not, but... I still dont understand him. You'd think in novel whise first half is about this guys fifteen (?) Years in solitary confinement wed get some introspection and a solid character. You know, you sympathize with them and understand them, but know their quest for revenge is tearing them apart, and it breaks your heart because they were never meant to live like that, and they are maybe proud and vengeant, but scarred by their past or whatever. But nope. I couldn't name one character trade if you pressed a gun to my face. Hes the perfect human (yknow, excerpt for being an ass, anti-Semitic, racist, sexist, an ass)
The fucking protagonist. I dont even remeber his name, that's how forgettable he is! I forgot it even DURING READING THE BOOK. Thats NOT supposed to happen. and this is mostly about how this ass lets everyone cater tobhis wishes and rever him like hes fucking Jesus while he enjoys watching people Die. He freAking loves it, no joke. I would say more, but, again, he has no real character
The treatment Mercedes gets. So, mercedes is the boyfriends fiancee, the lad gets dragged away right before their wedding and she never finds out what happens. If hes alive, dead, free or imprisoned, or even why he was taken. So, she waits for him, for years. And only after years of waiting, without ever even considering another man, she goes with her best friend, a rich, powerful general, even though she doesn't really love him, because she's tired of waiting, or of living. She seemd suicidal, but characters are hard to see. And she educates herself, like hell, she is smart as fuck (and beautiful. Our protag was worriedvin the beginning that someone else would marry her, cuz shes so pretty, even if shes poor af) so yeah, she educates herself, bears a son, has a good life-but she seems unhappy, the exposition character tells us. She always seems melancholic and unhappy, like she would wish she was sonewhere else. Guess what our protag thinks. His fiance, a beautiful and clever young woman, waited years for him to come back, only to give in after yearsvof solitude and waiting, and marry her best friend, who loves her more than anything. She goes on, learning, bearing a son, always guilty, always sad and melancholic. Guess what our protag thinks? RIGHT! Shes a dirty whore and betrayed him and is just as bad as those men that set him upbto rot in jail for more than a decade. Yeah. Cuz how dare a woman live on her life. How dare a beautiful, clever young woman marry and try to be happy. How dare the person he claims to love most, try to be happt whithout HIM. Seriously, I dont care about the time period, tiu shouldn't want the person you love most to jump off a cliff cuz youre gone. Thats sick. And you shouldn't invade their homes to haunt them and guilt them. Yes you suffered, no that wasnt okay, but let people go on! She caref for your sick dad even years after you disappeared, she is not a bad person! Fuck, if anything, tell her everything and give her a choice! Or at least give her your blessing! Fucks sake
Okay, that was it, pretty much. Dont read this book, it's a waste of space, paper and time.
Im outta here
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bitterdrake · 7 years
Text
Big Boy Rant
guilty pleasures shouldn't exist. u should be able to love whatever u want without feeling guilty about it. however that doesnt mean u shouldnt call out the bullshit that comes along with it. for example i LOVE the vampire diaries. yet i can still acknowledge its unoriginality, mary/gary sue characters, repetitive plots, and how it jumped the shark by like the third episode without getting all butthurt. i know it has little to no real quality. i hardly gain anything from watching it. but bitch i still like it! YET IM AWARE! what i'm really sick of is the glorification of all these mediocre and bland shows that get off the charts ratings just because people are so obsessive with so obnoxiously fake characters. i'm talking about shows like pretty little liars (great plot at the beginning but do not try to tell me it didnt go downhill after the second season), riverdale (i love this show but there is not one even slightly original thing about it), thirteen reasons why (great actors, horrible everything else), orange is the new black (amazing characters, amazing plot, but the writers absolutely slaughtered everything that was good about it by the end of the third season), etc. etc. etc. then you have, like, second tier shows that are written brilliantly like shameless (hyper realistic dialogue, imperfect, relatable, original characters, representation of a ton of communities, call-outs on gentrification and aristocracy), SKAM (realistic representation of modern youth, somewhat typical yet interesting characters, pretty good representation of the gay community also im norwegian so im biased), game of thrones (aint even gonna explain its very well done) that are new and classic but with primarily white characters (before u come at me: shameless has two black main characters, one of which has like two lines total in seven seasons. skam has one muslim actress. everybody is white in game of thrones except for the tribe of people known to be savages and the other kingdom of people made out to be "middle eastern"). while thats pretty typical of western television, it lacks the ambition and fails to demand critical thought from its massive audience. all of the shows mentioned above flourish because of plot twists and like able characters. not strictly unworthy of watching, but not incredibly impressive nor thought-provoking, either. but they're super successful so they don't need to worry about shit that won't make them money. then you have god-tier shows that are cancelled after the second season. lemme just talk up the get down real fast. it's directed by baz fucking lurhmann. love him or hate him, he's super artistic and completely revolutionizes the way certain scenes are filmed. you have actors like jaden smith, justice smith (up and coming actor who was in paper towns and is hot ASF), herizen guardiola (first time actress who is just as amazing acting as she is at singing), jimmy smits (from the west wing, sons of anarchy, and dexter), and giancarlo esposito (gustavo from breaking bad!!). all of the main characters are refreshingly people of color representing both the ghetto and the middle class of the bronx in the 1970s. the plot line is super complex yet easy to follow. the dialogue is equally hilarious as it is heartbreaking. BROTHER U GOT FUCKING MUSIC! this show centers around disco and the very start of rap and hip hop. jaden smith is a closeted gay poet/artist whose story line does not revolve around being gay(!!!!). justice smith plays a young teen named zeke who is a mf good will hunting genius in the making who unapologetically writes honest poetry. the love interest mylene cruz is gorgeous, talented, yet painfully imperfect. her story does not revolved around zeke at all- she focuses on her career as an up and coming disco star and the struggle between fulfilling her dreams and pleasing her abusive, uber christian father. the "mentor", shaolin fantastic, is a drug dealing DJ and graffiti poet who recruits a bunch of high school sophomores (zeke and company) to be word smiths (rappers) for his spinning (DJing, otherwise know as The Get Down!!!). shaolin, peppered in hilariously cheesy bruce lee references, struggles with living authentically and obtaining money via coke dealers. the writing is fresh. its funny. its heart wrenching. its relevant, even though the show takes place in the 70s. just from watching this show i know who tf edward koch is who was actually a huge part of the history of new york and a big reason why racism is pressed into the art of graffiti, thus emphasizing the importance of expression within the black community. that being said, this show isn't anti-white or whatever the fuck u "reverse racists" try to pin it as. there are white graffiti artists, white businessmen who play a huge part in zeke's life, and white helpers of the puerto rican uncle trying to make a difference in the bronx. the issues of classism, racism, censorship, and familial struggles are addressed without being one-sided. this show educates you. it makes you laugh, cry, and most importantly makes you think. and it got cancelled cause yall motherfuckers are too busy losing ur shit over stupid drama and okay looking white actors (cole sprouse aint got shit on justice smith and thats the mf tea on that!) don't get me wrong: like whatever u wanna like. but u simply cannot deny the blandness of popular television when there are a variety of amazing, less popular shows that you can actually get something out of. with great power comes great responsibility !! when your audience is that huge, you have the opportunity to spread deep and worthwhile messages to the masses. i'm not saying make all shows political or whatever. i feel like the main message (that is often took for the opposite due to its romanticization of gossip) of pretty little liars is to not be a fake bitch!! idk what the FUCK riverdale is trying to say, and dont u dare come to me saying 13 reasons why is trying to bring awareness to depression bc that is some neurotypical bullshit, and yes not all shows need to have some higher meaning but isnt that the appeal of story telling? the bible? cant stop yall from having bad taste and like you do you but i want you to know that im fucking pissed the get down got cancelled and thirteen fuckers why is getting a second season that is all goodbye
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