#dont call the cops I'm joking

[nightwhisper14]

Du bist Blind

*Du bist blind. No capital letter.

Und du bist eine blindes doofes Fach.

Du musst in ein Feuer sterben.

Ich bin nicht blind. Fich dich.

#german argument #friendship goals #deutsch #dont call the cops I'm joking

[the-acid-pear]

Okay I'm home now and i can fully and freely type. Anyway mild spoilers for into the spiderverse i guess?

❌❌❌

Anyway uh. Yeah it... It was a tiny bit of a disappointment. It didn't do it for me at all. I feel like this movie is more of an art exhibit and i mean that as a fucking insult. Like sure the animation fucks my ears are ringing and my head aches horribly (that's on me for thinking i can be autistic and watch this on theaters) but like, the story man? It just so much (DEROGATORY).

It commits the sin a lot of spiderman movies make and that is that it bit more than it could chew. Not because they're bad at handling a complex story, but because they tried to juggle like 5 at once. And that never fucking works (my ear is still ringing and it hurts I'm in pain rn -_+ just wanted y'all to know)

Like it introduced SO FUCKING MUCH and it all was cool yeah! Just like electro was cool, and Harry, and Gwen, and captain Stacy. You know what in trying to fucking say? There's only so much you can do in 2 hours and you can just throw all you have all at once at the viewer because all you'll do is leave them disappointed wanting for more of that.

I feel like a baby. They show me this cool thing but nuh uh! Enough of that! Here's this new cool thing! But nuh uh! Enough of that- and so on. Like there were so many cool characters and ideas and concepts and shit but it could barely balance it all. YOU KNOW HOW BAD I WANTED TO SEE MORE OF THE SPOT?! HE BARELY WAS HERE!

It's like, you cannot fucking make a whole movie as the introduction to your next movie. That just sucks. You're setting yourself up for failure.

Like I'm just so upset bc it was full of amaizing things but it didn't fucking deliver in any of them!!!! And God don't get me started on the references. I think this was one of the worst ways to fill your movie with references. Like at least let me fucking process what I'm seeing if you are gonna waste so much time here, but also just... Don't make it so fucking blatant.

Like man i... This was a very experimental spiderman movie which i appreciate in a way but... It's not what I was expecting. To me, personally, it was disappointing. And also not designed at ALL to watch on cinemas. I think that last bit is just a fact.

I'm just kinda sad man. Like i loved Miles and Gwen's drama and i loved Miguel but I also wanted to see more of, you know, THE WHOLE FUCKING NEW CAST AND THE NEW FUCKING VILLAIN THEY INTRODUCED BUT SHOWED ONLY FOR LIKE 2-3 SEGMENTS MAX???????

LIKE HANDS ON HEAD EMOJI WHAT WERE THEY DOINGGGGG 😭😭😭😭

#luly talks #im sorry to the people who loved this movie i am so upset #on funnier news i found the spot is called la mancha in spanish which is funny bc mancha is what we call a common kids game #in fact i remember that the english name for that is tag we call that mancha #LA mancha #btw i did love Miles' mom having more of the spotlight it was like a little treat for us latinos fr #also. the amount of cop stuff was a bit too much. i wouldn't call it pro cop like some idiot i saw the other day but it. like. hm. y'know? #like this movie feels like an art project something you'd see the fans do and if they did you'd allow the imperfections #but it was made by an studio and there were expectatives in the table like it. it just doesn't stand on its own at all #I WANTED MORE OF PAV AND HOBBIE MAN. I FUCKING DID. HOBBIE ESP I HAVE A CRUSH ON EM #they/them too right? didnt really hear it well but I'm sure i heard em be called they #i will say tho i loved the pear shaped spiderwoman that was super cool #i did literally joke about being too fat to make a spidersona b4 watching the movie and sure she was a woman i aint but it was nice anyway #but yeah it just. it tried to chew more than it could bite. the spot was so cool tho #the spot and hobbie are my guys i love them #man I'm just sad i really am im repeating myself bc im too overwhelmed to retain thoughts so idk if im being clear but like #this movie had a LOT of good things but it delivered on nearly NONE of them #like just commit! you want this to be a story about Miles sure do that but just focus on him and that's it #dont throw in so much and leave us yearning for more bc now we have the old cast AND the new cast both and we barely saw any of these new #ppl interacting we barely fucking know them #anyway just SAD man

[ballad-of-death]

Kissing the boo boo away

;;PAIRING : Jake Peralta x cop!reader

;;SUMMARY : after getting shot, the last thing you expect is a confession from your colleague.

;;NOTES : HEHEHHEHEHHEHE JAKE BRAINROT ENSUES. Also yes very cliche blah blah blah. Anyways! First fic to post on here i hope you guys like it :)

Gettig shot is not like in the movies. You dont just calmly lay and hold the wound. Its loud. It pierces trough you. It makes you gasp for air and yelp in pain. Then there's the force of the blow throwing you back onto the floor and the warm feeling of the bullet going through your skin. The smell of burnt cloth and skin. The ringing in your ears after the shot.

The worried yells of your partners.

You try holding on to the wound but even the smallest bit of pressure makes you want to throw up.

The sound of steps and shots ringing in the background as a habd on your shoulder brings you back to reality.

"Hey! Hey! Dont close your eyes stay with me now! Its me Jake! Hey look at me!" The detective held your shoulder and tried keeping you awake as much as he could. He tried to put pressure on your wound but you just winced and groaned in pain. The bullet shot you theough the abdomen and you couldn't sit upright without immense pain.

"Dont worry everything will be okay just look at me. The medics are on their way just hold on a little longer!"

Jake said with obvious worry in his tone. You tried your best to open your eyes but the heavy feeling of tiredness washed over you. The warmth of your bosy as the blood pumped more and more seemed... comforting in a sense... just closing your eyes to rest wouldn't hurt right? The pain would still keep you awake right?

"No, No, No, No, No! Hey he look at me Hey! Dont "

The bliss of rest entwred your mind and all you could think about was... nothing. Just nothing. Pure nothingness. If it were a movie it would be a black screen, yet not in a bad ending way but a break between plots.

----

You woke up to the beeps of the ECG next to your bed. You look arounf the room but your eyes are still adjusting.

Yet, you can clearly make out the sillouette of a person to your right. They are holding your hand and seem to be sleeping. As your eyes finally adjust you see who it is. Jake.

You tap his hand a few times to try and wake him up and it works.

Hes gasps and jotls closer to you his eyes still slightly closed.

"Hm? What? Wait. Y/N! You're awake! Oh i thought you were going to sleep for like three days like in the movies oh my god you scared me to death!" He rambles on as you chuckled to yourself.

"Thanks Peralta, you know how to make someone feel better" you smile at him letting him know you were joking.

"Yes sorry. But are you okay? Should i call the nurse? Does it hurt? Are you okay? Do you need anything? Anything at all?" He seemed distressed, worried even. You never saw him like this. He wasnt his goofy self anymore. He was more serious.

"'M fine Jake. But you sound more worried the I am. Is everything okay with you?"

"Yes...no... maybe? I dont know but i doesnt matter. You cant do this to me! You cant be so brave ! When you got shot you worried me so so so so much Y/N! I thought i lost you! Like actually. This isnt like a monologue i put on because i had to. You actually scared me. I care about you so much and you just get shot like that." He held your hand tighter and looked you in the eyes. His voice was really serious.

Your hand reached for his head and cupped his face lightly.

"Jake... I'm sorry, although its not my fault i got shot but...im sorry. Dont be so worried about me though. No matter what i will be fine" you smile at him.

"No Y/N i will worry about you. I will. You mean so much to me and now when i thought i lost you... Y/N you seriously dont know how much you mean to me. I was so shit scared about you and it made me realize that... that i care about you. More than anything actually.... what im trying to say is—

When i thought you were gone i realized that a life without you would be hard. I love you Y/N. So so so sod so fucking much." He sighed, his eyes were glossy as if he was about to cry.

Your heart ached at this sight. He also meant much to you. The sight of him sad and worried was very rare. Infact you haven't seen him cry ever.

"Jake—"

"No i know its stupid we're coworkers and like it wouldn't work out and you think im saying this because of your state. But im serious Y/N."

"I know you are, but let me finish. I care about you too Jake. And I think i care about you in the same way you do abiut me. I think i might love you too Peralta."

"You know how to ruin a moment using my last name dont you?" You both luaghed. You were relieved he was already back to his normal self.

"Also, the nurse asked me to ask you if you need someone to kiss your booboo away?"

"Not very smooth Peralta, if you want to kiss me just do it."

"Cool, cool cool cool cool cool cool cool"

#jake peralta x reader #b99 x reader #brooklyn 99 x reader #jake peralta #brooklyn 99 #brooklyn 99 fanfiction #jake peralta fanfic #fluff

[toadprose]

An Exchange of Endearments;

The one where a stolen phone united two people who were destined to meet. A story told through text messages.

☎ w.c: 3,1k

☎ pairing: ghost x soap // simon riley x john mactavish

☎ rating: pg

☎ archive of our own: link here

☎ genre: silliness, humor, fluff

☎ warnings: mention of an inappropriate app but only by name

☎ author's note: hello :) i wanted to experiment with writing a story in a different format. it's mainly just silly. there's only 3 chapters rn. i'm testing out different ways to end this fic but there will definitely be more chapters to come. thank you for reading! ALSO!! the plan was to have tho WHOLE fic like those imessage screenshots but they take too long to make and i am lazy so pls just use ur imagination

Soap: dumbass. how many times u gonna drop ur phone at exfil? this is the last time i’m saving ur new number, gaz. venmo me $6 for the tea or i’ll give it to that hot dog cart guy.

???: ?

???: Wrong number.

Soap: fuck. sorry, lad.

Soap: wait. this is gaz’s number. what the hell?

Soap: how did u get this phone

???: I stole it from a drunk guy in a bathroom.

Soap: …

Soap: what the fuck, man?

???: I think he left his phone there.

???: And I need one.

???: This works out fine.

Soap: where tf r u, i wanna yell at u

Soap: and ask if u want any help getting back home. were u drinkin too?

???: Why would I tell a complete stranger where I am?

Soap: fair enough.

???: Why do you care about the well-being of me, a phone thief?

Soap: im a big brother. always looking out for the little guys. even when theyre stealing phones.

???: I am not little. 

Soap: ok then, big guy.

Soap: i know we just met and all, but maybe take ur new phone and get somewhere safe tonight. dont sleep on a park bench. or a strangers bed.

???: Who do you think I am, a hobo? I have a very nice home.

Soap: then why tf did u steal a phone in the first place?

???: Because I wanted one.

???: I did not have any money on me.

Soap: well now u do, so buy a fucking phone, mate.

???: But this one works fine.

Soap: and im not sure that the owner agrees with u

???: He will live.

Soap: not the point.

???: If he can afford this type of phone, he can afford another one.

Soap: not my argument

???: Are you saying I should buy my own phone?

Soap: yeah. thats literally what im saying.

???: But why, when this one is free.

Soap: jesus christ

???: And you can Venmo me the money instead.

Soap: ill venmo u my foot up ur arse.

???: I will pay you back.

???: You do not have to be mean.

Soap: how did u make me a dick in this conversation. i was trying to help.

???: Well, I still have the phone.

Soap: yea. but at what cost.

Soap: u got a name, phone thief?

???: Ghost.

Soap: is that ur name or are u hiding.

Ghost: Yes.

Soap: ok im calling the cops

Ghost: Please do not.

Ghost: I can explain.

Ghost: I can be normal.

Soap: not what i asked.

Soap: im joking. im not a cop.

Soap: but seriously, ghost. what the hell are u doing?

Ghost: Living.

Soap: not a lot of living happening in the bathroom of a bar, lad.

Ghost: I needed a new phone.

Ghost: And the bathroom was very clean.

Soap: thats it. im gonna go find u.

Soap: if u wont listen to reason then at least give me ur location.

Ghost: I would prefer if you didn't.

Ghost: I don't really enjoy meeting new people.

Soap: ur stuck with me now. i wanna meet the man who stole my mate's phone in a public restroom.

Ghost: Please, don't.

Soap: too late, i got u in find friends.

Ghost: WHAT

Ghost: WHY

Ghost: HOW

Ghost: WHEN

Ghost: DO NOT

Soap: relax, im joking. 

Ghost: This is not funny.

Soap: a lil bit funny.

Ghost: Fuck you.

Ghost: Do not text this number again.

Soap: too bad.

Soap: this is my new favorite thing.

Ghost: This is not an entertainment device.

Soap: u made it into one when u took the phone.

Ghost: I should have stolen your phone.

Soap: yea. u prolly should have.

Soap: maybe u still can.

Ghost: No, thank you.

Soap: im so glad to hear ur manners kicked in at the end there.

Soap: i feel better knowing ur not a total dick.

Ghost: That's not what my mom tells me.

Soap: oh god.

Ghost: Sorry.

Ghost: I didn't mean to send that.

Ghost: It was a joke.

Ghost: A bad one.

Ghost: I will never send another inappropriate message.

Ghost: Please stop laughing.

Soap: i cant

Soap: my face hurts

Soap: ur so awkward

Soap: im dying

Ghost: Thank you for your feedback.

Ghost: Now please stop messaging me.

Soap: hey. gaz is rlly sad about his stolen phone. give it back. 

Ghost: What is a gaz?

Soap: the drunk guy u stole the phone from a few days ago.

Ghost: That seems like his problem.

Soap: yeah. but if u give him the phone back, he might let me play with his new sniper rifle. 

Ghost: Interesting.

Soap: he also has a big bag of jelly beans.

Ghost: I have his phone.

Soap: u wanna come over and trade it for the jelly beans?

Ghost: No.

Soap: :(

Ghost: Maybe.

Soap: yes!!

Ghost: You can have the phone.

Ghost: But only if you take a picture of him holding the jelly beans and send it to me.

Soap: that sounds easy enough.

Soap: do u like black liquorice?

Ghost: No.

Soap: good.

Ghost: ?

Soap: hey

Ghost: This is not Gaz's number.

Soap: i know. it’s urs and we’re friends now

Ghost: No, we aren't.

Soap: yes, we are.

Soap: if ur not gonna give the phone back, at least tell me a name i can put in the contact for this number

Ghost: No. 

Soap: just gimme a name. or i'll make one up for u

Ghost: Do not.

Soap: u know what, i think u look like a jack

Ghost: You don't even know what I look like.

Soap: no, but that doesn't matter

Soap: i think i have an idea

Soap: and a friend named jack. it would be hilarious

Ghost: Please, no.

Soap: too late. jack it is

Jack: I don't want to be called that.

Soap: it's a nice name

Jack: You don't even know if I'm a guy.

Soap: are u

Jack: That's not the point.

Jack: It doesn't matter.

Soap: then what's ur name

Jack: If I give you a name, will you leave me alone?

Soap: yeah

Jack: Okay.

Jack: Call me Toad.

Soap: toad???

Soap: ok

Toad: Okay?

Soap: i'm not gonna call u that

Toad: Then why did you say you would?

Soap: why did u say u would give the phone back and then not give it back?

Toad: Fine.

Soap: fine

Toad: Good.

Soap: good!

Soap: hey toad

Toad: Oh my god.

Soap: how are u

Toad: I hate everything.

Soap: what a coincidence. so do i

Toad: How wonderful for us.

Soap: yeah it is.

Soap: u want to hear about the mission i just got back from?

Toad: It’s Ghost, not Toad. And I literally couldn't care less.

Soap: well that's rude. it was very exciting

Ghost: Are you military?

Soap: u know i could have asked for the phone back a long time ago. but i'm not. i'm just a good samaritan who wanted to make sure u got home safe

Ghost: That was a lot of words.

Soap: i had a lot to say

Ghost: Are you always like this?

Soap: yes. anyway, i am military. sort of. i like making stuff explode.

Ghost: What's your rank?

Soap: sergeant. i'm pretty cool.

Ghost: Cooler than most sergeants?

Soap: probably

Soap: but i still wouldn't tell gaz i said that

Ghost: Who is Gaz again?

Soap: i already told u

Ghost: It's been a while. I forgot.

Soap: that's the same as saying u care. i know u care.

Ghost: I don't.

Soap: ok, u dont care.

Ghost: I don't.

Soap: so if i texted u at 3 am to say my roommate accidentally lit my bed on fire, u wouldn't care?

Ghost: That's different.

Ghost: If you're really in the military, you should be able to deal with it.

Soap: wow.

Soap: ur kind of a dick

Ghost: You don't even know me.

Ghost: Besides, I'm not a dick. I'm a ghost.

Soap: lol

Soap: did u just make a joke?

Ghost: I suppose I did.

Soap: nice. maybe i'll forgive u

Ghost: For what?

Soap: stealing a phone

Ghost: Stealing a phone that I found on a public bathroom sink.

Ghost: The same phone that is currently being used to annoy the hell out of me.

Soap: karma is a bitch

Ghost: Is it?

Ghost: Or are you a bitch?

Ghost: maybe both.

Ghost: Sounds like it.

Soap: i'm gonna text u every day.

Ghost: I don't even know your name.

Soap: john mactavish. they call me soap tho.

Ghost: Soap.

Soap: yea

Ghost: Your name is John, and people call you Soap. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

Soap: i've heard worse

Ghost: I believe it.

Ghost: How the hell do you get Soap from John, though?

Soap: u could just call me john

Ghost: I will never call you John.

Soap: k

Ghost: Ever.

Soap: nice talk.

Ghost: Don't text me anymore.

Soap: they call me soap bc i clean up real nice

Ghost: I thought we agreed you wouldn't text me.

Soap: oh did we? i don't remember that

Ghost: I hate you.

Soap: <3

Ghost: Was that an emoji? Never do that again.

Soap: but rlly. the reason i'm called soap is bc i set some kind of record time clearing a warehouse in basic and it just kind of stuck

Ghost: Why are you telling me this?

Soap: to help u sleep at night

Ghost: It will not.

Soap: what kind of name is ghost anyway?

Ghost: Not important.

Soap: i've seen some of the guys around here. they aren't ghosts

Ghost: That's the point.

Soap: i bet you have a boring ass name like timothy

Ghost: Don't be ridiculous.

Soap: markus

Ghost: No.

Soap: paul

Ghost: I'm going to block this number.

Soap: okay okay, sorry

Soap: can i call u smthn normal like dave

Ghost: You're not even close.

Soap: damn

Soap: what do i get if i guess it right

Ghost: Absolutely nothing.

Soap: i'm not gonna stop guessing til u give me smthn

Ghost: How about you stop texting me and I won't kill you.

Soap: no ur a nice guy. u wouldn't do that

Ghost: Try me.

Soap: fine, i'll leave u alone for a day

Ghost: A week.

Soap: two days.

Ghost: Four days.

Soap: three

Ghost: Three days and a photo.

Soap: what?

Ghost: A photo of you. 

Soap: why?

Ghost: I want to see what you look like.

Soap: why didn't u ask before

Ghost: Because I didn't care before.

Soap: send me a picture of u first

Ghost: No.

Soap: i'll think about it if u do

Ghost: I won't.

Soap: i'll take a bad picture.

Ghost: Why do you have a bad picture of yourself?

Soap: for situations just like this

Ghost: Okay.

Soap: u send one first.

Ghost: No.

Soap: i have pics of u already.

Ghost: What?!

Soap: lol

Soap: not really

Ghost: Don't fucking do that.

Soap: don't threaten to kill me

Ghost: Don't scare me.

Soap: ur not very good at this, are u?

Ghost: At what?

Soap: talking to people

Ghost: It doesn't seem to matter. You're still talking to me.

Soap: i guess it's a gift.

Soap: what would u do if i sent u a pic of myself

Ghost: Nothing.

Soap: that's a lie. u would look at it. perhaps save it to ur camera roll

Ghost: What do you want from me?

Soap: i wanna be friends

Ghost: Why?

Soap: u seem lonely

Ghost: I'm not.

Soap: u can keep telling me u hate me but i know that u don't

Ghost: I don't hate you.

Soap: so u like me?

Ghost: No.

Soap: we r gonna be the best of friends

Ghost: No, we aren't.

Ghost: Send me the picture.

Soap:

Soap: there. i cropped it so u couldn’t dox me

Ghost: Nice try. But I'm not a civilian. And I'm not an idiot.

Soap: ur not a civilian?

Ghost: Fuck.

Ghost: Pretend you didn't read that.

Soap: only if u send me a selfie 

Ghost: This is extortion.

Soap: yup

Ghost: I don't have a photo.

Soap: then take a new one

Ghost: Fine. 

Soap: is that a skull mask? and skeleton gloves? are u sure ur not an edgy teenager under there?

Ghost: Just shut up.

Soap: this is great. can i post this on instagram

Ghost: No.

Soap: can i show my roommates

Ghost: No.

Soap: ok, can i save it for blackmail purposes

Ghost: I would prefer it if you didn't.

Soap: too late

Soap: i didn’t think u had brown eyes

Ghost: You have an unfortunate beard.

Soap: what does that even mean?

Ghost: Exactly what it sounds like.

Soap: fuck off. ur a beanie baby.

Ghost: ?

Soap: a beanie baby. theyre like those little stuffed animals and u collect them. except, yk, a beanie baby

Ghost: I know what a beanie baby is. Why did you call me one?

Soap: ur just a little soft, squishy man

Ghost: Fuck you.

Soap: :)

Soap: did u know there are beanie babies of real people?

Ghost: What the fuck are you talking about?

Soap: i'm at walmart and i saw this miley cyrus beanie baby

Ghost: Miley Cyrus is not real.

Soap: they're called limited editions. u gotta collect them all

Soap: wait what do u mean miley cyrus isn’t real

Ghost: I mean that Miley Cyrus is an illusion. A fabricated idea created by a corrupt government and sold to the public. An industry plant to poison the minds of the youth. 

Ghost: But now you've ruined the surprise, and her secret is out. 

Soap: omg

Soap: i thought her secret was hannah montana

Ghost: You know nothing, Soap.

Soap: i can't believe you broke into gaz's phone, stole it, and now u won't tell me ur name

Soap: and yet u just tried to gaslight me into thinking miley cyrus isn't real

Ghost: I would have gotten away with it, too, if not for you meddling kids.

Soap: are u even a real person

Ghost: I have a question for you, Soap.

Soap: yeah

Ghost: Why haven't you reported this stolen phone to your authorities?

Soap: it's not that big of a deal. gaz has another phone. i think he just liked this one better

Ghost: And what about me?

Soap: what about u?

Ghost: How do you know I'm not a terrorist who is using the phone to spy on the military or steal secrets?

Soap: u don't seem like a terrorist

Ghost: Thanks.

Soap: and besides, u couldn't have stolen that many secrets if u didn't know miley cyrus is real

Ghost: I could.

Soap: how do u even use a phone with skeleton gloves on?

Ghost: With difficulty.

Soap: that helmet makes u look stupid

Ghost: Says the guy with the worst beard I've ever seen.

Soap: i'll have u know i've been told it makes me look handsome

Ghost: By who? Yourself?

Soap: well now i am not telling

Soap:

Ghost: I bet it was a mirror.

Soap: i would say i'd block u, but we both know i won't

Ghost: That's fine. We both know I won't give you the phone back.

Soap: that's true.

Soap: did u know gaz has a lot of games on his phone

Ghost: Like what?

Soap: the entire clash of clans series. a few versions of candy crush. and something called lovehoney. not sure what that one is.

Ghost: Are you sure about that, Soap?

Soap: ?

Ghost: Have you actually played LoveHoney?

Soap: no, it says its rated m

Ghost: I thought you said you were a grown ass man?

Soap: i can't play a rated m game without supervision

Ghost: Oh, really?

Ghost: Do you want supervision?

Soap: from who? u?

Ghost: Maybe.

Soap: u should come visit us sometime. we can play clash of clans together

Ghost: I'd rather stab myself.

Soap: :(

Ghost: Why do you keep using emojis?

Soap: to convey emotion

Ghost: But there are words for emotions.

Soap: u should try it

Ghost: Why would I do that when I have a mask and a helmet to hide my face?

Soap: why do u hide ur face anyway? are u ugly?

Ghost: Quite the opposite.

Soap: oh so ur pretty

Ghost: I don't see how that matters.

Soap: ur face matters a lot if it's the only thing u can see when u look at someone

Ghost: Then look elsewhere.

Soap: can't. the rest of u is covered up

Ghost: If you're lucky, you'll never have to see the rest of me.

Soap: if u were here i could prove to u that ur a real person

Ghost: Is that so?

Soap: yes. i would hold ur hand

Ghost: Gross.

Soap: maybe even hug u

Ghost: Definitely gross.

Soap: i'm a very affectionate person

Ghost: That's unfortunate.

Soap: i can be anything u want me to be

Ghost: Not interested.

Soap: ok fine, i can be anything u aren't

Ghost: Good luck with that.

Soap: do u always text like ur writing a report

Ghost: Yes.

Soap: it's boring

Ghost: You are boring.

Soap: and yet u keep replying

Ghost: I don't know why.

Soap: maybe bc we r friends

Ghost: That's not why.

Soap: yes it is.

Ghost:

Soap: is that a dog

Ghost: It's a German Shepard.

Soap: i hate dogs.

Ghost: I thought you might.

Soap: why

Ghost: They remind me of you.

Soap: hahaha

Ghost: They are loyal and dumb and kind of cute.

Soap: omg

Ghost: But also aggressive and loud and have terrible breath.

Soap: did u just call me cute

Ghost: I did.

Soap: are u drunk?

Ghost: No.

Ghost: Maybe.

Soap: do u always get drunk and text random guys on stolen phones?

Ghost: It's the only way I can talk to anyone.

Soap: why

Ghost: Because no one wants to get close to a ghost.

Soap: that was so dramatic

Ghost: So is your fucking beard.

Soap: it's a fashion statement

Ghost: It's ugly.

Soap: and what, ur face is too pretty for the world?

Ghost: Exactly.

Soap: if u weren't a stranger, i'd probably be a little offended

Ghost: We're not strangers.

Soap: not really, i guess. but u don't know anything about me

Ghost: I know your name.

Ghost: I know your rank.

Ghost: I know you work for an unspecified organization.

Ghost: I know you're a complete idiot.

Soap: hey!

Ghost: I know you like jelly beans.

Ghost: I know you're not as much of an asshole as I thought you were.

Ghost: And I know I like talking to you.

Soap: i like talking to u too. even if u insult me every chance u get

Ghost: It's because you're an easy target.

Soap: u are literally the least charming person i have ever met

Ghost: Thank you. to be continued - subscribe on ao3 for next chapters :3

#ghoap #john soap mactavish #cod mw2 #ghostsoap #mw3 #cod #cod mw3 #fanfic #ghost x soap #soapghost #simon ghost riley #fluff #pining #archive of our own #dumb #sfw #mwiii #ghost #soap #cod art #john mactavish #simon riley #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #silly #crack fic #idiots in love

[were-candy-gutz]

I say I'm a werewolf -> they take it as a joke -> I say it more often because I realize they think I'm not serious -> they tell me it isn't funny anymore -> I explain that it's not supposed to be funny -> they call me crazy -> I realize they don't believe me so it doesn't matter if i say it anyway because its not like they'll do anything to me -> i make a reference to it once, like a week later -> they threaten to call the cops on me -> i dont know if they believe me now or think im endangering myself so i shut up

#lykos howls #this is a vent #yes im a werewolf #clinical zoanthropy #dont tell me im not a werewolf rn im so tired

[lemons-bittersweet]

THE OUTSIDERS FROM THE BOOK IN DESCRIPTION.

IM SORRY IF THINGS ARE SPELLED WRONG NOR THE SENTENCES BEING REAL SENTENCES BUT I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO DO ALL OF THAT CURRENTLY

PONYBOY CURTIS- AGE 14- I have light brown almost red hair and greenish-gray eyes I wish they were grayer because I hate most guys that have green eyes but I have to be content with what I have my hair is longer than a lot of boys wear theirs squared off in the back and long in the front and other sides but I'm a greaser most of my neighborhood rather bothers to get a haircut size I look better with long hair I like to watch movies alone so I can get into them and live them with the actors when I see a movie with someone it's kind of uncomfortable it's like having someone read your book over your shoulder I'm different that way I mean my second oldest brother soda who's 16 going around 17 never cracks a book at all and my oldest brother Darrel we call darry works to long and hard to be interested in a story or drawing a picture so I'm not like them and nobody in our gang digs moves and books the way I do for a while there I thought I was the only person in the world that did so I loned it soda tries to understand at least which is more than darry does but then so does different from anybody he understands everything almost like he's never hollering at me at the time of day or he is or treating me as if I was 6 instead of 14 I love soda more than that I have ever loved anyone even mom and dad he's always happy go lucky and grilling while there Dairy's hard and firm and rarely grins at all but then darrys gone through a lot his this 20 years growing up too fast soda will never grow up at all I don't know which way is the best i'll find out one of these days Sodapop Curtis-AGE 16/17- more handsome than Ponyboy knows he's slim but has a friendly draw sensitive face that manages to be reckless and thoughtful at the same time dark gold hair that he comes back long and silky and straight and in summer the sun bleaches into a shining wheat gold eyes are dark brown lively dancing reckless laughing eyes that can be gentle sympathetic one moment and blazing with anger the next he's got his dad's eyes but his is one of a kind. Darrel JR Curtis-AGE 20- 6 feet two inches tall broad shoulders and muscular has dark brown hair that kicks out in front and slight cow lick in the back it's like his dad's but Darry's eyes are his own he's got eyes like two pieces of pale blue-green ice They've got a determined set to him like the rest of him he looks older than 20 tough cool and smart he would be real handsome with his eyes weren't so cold he doesn't understand anything that's not playing hard fact but he uses his head Steve Randle-AGE 17- Tall and lean with sick greasy hair he kept combed in complicated Swirls he was cocky smart and Soda's best buddy since grade school Steve's specialty was cars he could lift a hubcap quicker and more quietly than anyone in the neighborhood but he also knew cars upside down and backward he could drive anything on wheels he and soda worked at the same gas station steve part-time soda full time and the gas station got more customers than any in town whether that was because Steve was so good with cars or because so would attract girls like honey jaws flies

Two-bit (Keith) Mathews- AGE ???- Keith was the oldest of the gang and the wisecracker of the bunch he was about six feet tall stocky built and very proud of his long rusty colored sideburns he had gray eyes and a wide grin and he couldn't stop making funny remarks to save his life you couldn't shut that guy up he always had to get his two bits worth in hence his name even his teachers forgot his real name was Keith we hardly remembered he had one life was one big joke to tube it he was famous for shopping with his black switchblade and he always was smart enough to the cops he really couldn't help it everything he said was so irresistibly funny that he just had to let the police in on it to brighten up their dough lives he liked fighting blondes and from some unfathomable reason school he's still a junior at 18 1/2 he never learned anything he just went for kicks I liked him real well because he kept his laughing at ourselves as well as other things he reminded me of Will Rogers maybe because of the grin Dallas Winston- AGE ???- He had an elfish face with high cheekbones and pointed chin and small sharp animal teeth and ears like a lynx his hair was almost white it was so blonde and he didn't like haircuts or hair oil either so it fell over his forehead and wisps and kicked out in the back and tufts and curled back behind his ears and along the Naples neck his eyes were blue blazing ice cold with hatred of the whole world dally had spent 3 years on the wild side of New York and had been arrested at age 10 he was tougher than the rest of us tougher colder meaner the shade of difference that separates the greases from a hood was a present valley he was wild as the boys downtown outfits like Tim Shepherd's gang in New York dally blew off steam and gang fights but here organized gangs are rarities they're just small bunches of friends who stick together in the welfare is between the social classes of rumble when it's called it's usually born of a grudge fight and the opposite just happened to bring the friends along oh there are few gangs around here like the river kings and the Tiber Street Tigers but in the southwest there's no gang rivalry so Dally even though he could get into a good fight sometimes had no specific thing to hate no rival game only Socials and you can't win against them no matter how hard you try because they've got all the brakes and even wipping them isn't going to change the fact maybe that's why Dallas was so bitter he had quite the reputation in the file and down at the police station he had been arrested he got drunk he rode and rodeo's lied cheated stole rolled drunk jumped small kids he did everything I didn't like it but he was smart and you had to respect him Johnny Cade- AGE 16- If you could picture a little dark puppy that has been kicked too many times and it's lost in a crowd of strangers you'll have Johnny he was the youngest next to me smaller than the rest with a slight build he had big black eyes and a dark tan face his hair was jet black and heavily greased and combed to the side but it was so long that it fell into shaggy bangs across his forehead he had a nervous suspicious look in his eyes and that beating he got from the socialist didn't help matters he was the gang's pet everyone's kid brother his father was always beating him up and his mother ignored him except when she was hacking off his something and then you could hear yelling at him clear down at our house I think he hated that the worst getting whipped he would have run a million times if we hadn't been there and if he hadn't been gang Johnny would have never known love and affection are.

#dally winston #darrel curtis #sodapop curtis #johnny cade #ponyboy curtis #steve randle #the outsiders #socs #greasers #greaser #twobit mathews #two bit mathews #incorrect outsiders quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect quotations #incorrect the outsiders quotes #incorrect quote #incorrect qoute #incorrect the outsider #incorrect outsiders #incorrect outside #se hinton #book #character design #describing

[stealingyourbones]

Hello, first I would like to greatly apologize for any spam of likes I have sent your way because my brain decided to obsess randomly with Dp x Dc crossovers for the past few days. I'm not even into Dc comics, and I only watch Danny Phantom when I randomly it exists and the fandom pulls me back into its clutches until I'm able to finally escape only to be pulled back in a few months later. I write this to you at 1:30 am with a bag of shittily made popcorn with my cat accompanying me because my mind has decided to fall in love with Danny being taken care of by the Bat family and it's mostly you're fault. I hope you're happy. I want to kiss you so bad you have no idea. I've come up with so many scenarios and have the balls to share them with you cause I really like the way you write and since I'm not a writer I have no idea what I'm doing but here I go:

Danny and Dani are basically travelling the world, Danny would call it running from the cops but that doesn't have as nice a ring to it. (Situation can be up to you, bad reaction from parents, was framed, anything for Danny and Dani on the run with Danny having protective older brother vibes)

They end up in Gotham for a few nights to rest easily and its snowing cause I said so and theyre starving at this point. Danny's like "We need to hide and need shelter" and Dani's like "Dude look over there at that creepy mansion :D" And they have no idea that its not only very much inhabited, but a bunch of rich people live there (And the Bat family but who cares about that part)

Danny is obviously on the fence cause 1. He doesn't have a good history with rich people so why their houses and 2. They dont know whats in there what if a bunch of weirdos are staying there but they decide they're cold and need a place to rest so they fly in and luckily land in the kitchen.

The lights are off and they're to focused on finding food to notice two figures standing in the middle of the kitchen just watching them.

Dani pulls out a box of the shittiest cereal you can think that shouldn't be counted as cereal all happy "Danny, they have my favorite cereal!" And poor Danny's horrified, "Have you even ever had cereal before?"

They start rambling and then someone turns on the light its Alfred he was in the middle of boiling midnight tea for him and Tim.

And there's just 2 GLOWING awkward teens FLOATING, one's holding Bruce's 'cereal' clearly not assesing the situation and the other has a horrified expression on their face, and looks like on the verge of passing out.

Tim is way to sleep deprived thinking they're hallucinations and sits down, also on the verge of passing out, while Alfred just keeps boiling his tea.

Danny is sweating trying to figure out how hes gonna get them out if this situation and Danis just, munching on dry crappy cereal.

Albert like the God he is just fucking opens the fridge, looks Dani in the eye and asks "Would you like some milk with that, my lady?" And thats all I got out of me FOR THAT SCENARIO.

The other is I fucking forgot I took 30 mins to write all this I forgot what else I had Im so sleep deprived OH FUCK I REMEMBER IT WAS ABOUT DRUGS

Ok so tw for drugs (weed):

Ok so Danny's a teen he's stupid right, knowing him in the show he'd be the kid to decline drugs but then take a hit when his crush says "i KnEw YoU wEreNt coOl" yknow? Delicious social pressure.

Well he's like pretty much adopted by the Wayne's at this point so he's just chilling on the couch about to light a joint and Jason being the noble man he is snatches it out of Danny's hand like "Nono, bad small child dont do drugs" half joking and smokes it instead.

Danny's now panicking, silently following Jason to make sure he's alright and not dead or reacting badly to it.

"Yeah why wouldn't I be fine?" And the high kicks in.

The thing is is that it was ghost weed. And Jason for once feels completely calm, he doesn't feel a single bit of the pit its silent.

He's crying and Danny's like "Omg are you ok???" Thinking he poisoned his family/lover/whatever the fuck they are.

And Jason's just "This is some real good shit" silently sobbing, not even thinking about where Danny got it or why its doing this he's just happy.

And you can turn this into extreme angst by making him codependent or a comedy by him making high jokes

Ok thats it again I'm so sorry I just really had to tell someone this

Homie you, me, behind the Bat Burger; We shall marry at dawn. Man, it makes me so happy that you enjoy the stuff I write that much I’m really proud that I could bring you that much joy! Be sure to give your kitty some pets for me :).

Oh also, “not a writer”?! You spin a web of lies. This is incredible!! Sure it’s rambly, but that’s because you’re writing in a way that’s unsure of yourself. (It’s also very much so how I write so I feel you homie.) I still feel like my writing is equivalent to a middle schooler's but I do my best to shake that off. I don’t write fics because I’m bad at dialogue, I’m workin on it though! You simply just have to try and believe in yourself. You’ll reread it later and go, “Damn, did I just write that?!” And feel proud of what you accomplished. You absolutely have unique and brilliant ideas so take a shot at writing some stuff! I’m sure you’ll do great! :D

Also bro your: "what was I talking about? oH YEAH DRUGS!" was so unexpected. it made me laugh so hard so thank you for that :)

———

Danny and Dani are fucking floored that this stoic-ass old British man just rolled with seeing the two. Dani's eyes light up as she accepts the milk from the British guy. Snatching the fancy glass milk container, she haphazardly pours the milk into her bowl causing bits of cereal to ricochet the milk out of the bowl and flying absolutely everywhere.

Tim just stands still and stares at the two very much so Not Human entities that are currently in his house. The tired vigilante rummages around in his pocket for his phone and takes a quick photo of the scene in front of him.

Tim double takes glancing between the kitchen and his phone. At first he assumed they were hallucinations because no figures were present in the photograph… the floating bowl of cereal and spoon says otherwise.

#danny phantom #dp x dc #dpxdc #dc comics #writing prompts #bones replies #anon #genuinely dude your writing is fascinating! sorry it took me so long to get to your ask because this is INCREDIBLE

[solluve]

Domsetic Luxiem Headcanons!! ahshuaduw

not proofread!!! mentions of spiders, squishing spider, ew spider ────────────────────────

vox

CANT DO SHIT TBH like "oh he's a housewife" he's not. Like sure, hell clean and cook BUT HE ONLY DOES IT WHEN YOU TELL HIM TO he messes with u to Like

"oh can u clean the bedroom?"

"wdym.. my demonic aura cleansed everything already."

WE DIDNT MEAN SPIRITUALLY GO CLEAN IT When you force him to, he actually does a good job!! Like clothes are folded, floors are swept and there's a huge ass pile of clothes in ur closet!! MF GTE UR ASS OVER HERE HES HOT BUT HES NOT GETTING AWAY he also likes to meditate but like.. isolated. If you disturb him he's gonna make YOU sleep on the couch half joke he might tho He takes pride into his meditation, you would want peace and quiet too yk?! but if u guys have a pet, he'll let that mf disturb him any dayy why does a dog get special privileges UR THE ONE WHO PAYS 50% OF RENT he prob has those doobermans he probably also bribed the apartment facility to let him in I'm like 100% sure that dog is here illegally but he loves the dog and you do too! partly. he can't dance for the life of him however it's it's embarrassing HE COULD DO TRADITIONAL DANCING !! but don't hit him up with some 21st century shit he'll look like he's got it and then fall mid way. gotta get his old as the the hospital HIS BONES CRACKED.

____________

shu

ehe hes everything we wanted yall !! I'm joking. This mf DOESNT KNOW SLEEP like you'll be going to get a drink at 3am and then straight up see some demonic looking figure in the hall its just him trying to fix some shit HE BREAKS THINGS JUST SO HE CAN FIX THEM

"how did the...light break?"

"ion know but what I do know is that I can fix it!"

CATCH HIM ON THE SERCUIRTY CAMERAS hes useful tho in thay aspect!! your landlord ain't getting any money from damages. Dishwasher broke? Hes on it !! The TV isn't working as well? hes on it !! this is an ad for shu yamino services go support him He also does wack as shit at 3am Yk how I said he was fixing something at night while u were getting a drink? He was fixing A SPIDER. SPIDER he said "oh !!! I stepped on him so I wanted to help him!" HOW U GON FIX THAT HOW DID HE EVEN KNOW HE STEPPED ON IT You also caught him fixing Christmas tree during December. He laughed and said, "it wasn't bright enough!" a police visited yall 2 hrs later one of ur neighbors called the cops since it was way to bright. He had to make it up with cuddles xoxo, and pay the fine xoxoxo

______ mysta GET GIM AWAY MANS TO FERAL like literally can't do SHIT maid mysta maid mysta!! YOUR MYSTAKEN (do u get the joke) HE JUST RUINS EVERYTHING you just cleaned the floors!! why is FUCKING MUD STAINS ALREADY?!? Like he can't clean, CANTNFUCKING COOK (we all know this.) I DONT even want to elaborate on how bad he cooks. You Handel the cleaning, cooking, and what does he do? he def ain't sitting there pretty (ugly/j) instead, he opts to get the money and shit !! But like It's concerning Like last time I checked he had money to pay rent and all that but....he had to much money left. More than usual. Your guys Financials were good dwdw! BUT HOW HE GONNA HAVE THOUSANDS LEFT HES SELLING DRUGS/ the obvious explanation and that his freinds make him do crazy ass stunts and give him money/j "do a flip off that porch. 10$ mf." LMFAOO he's also just...insane. You'll wake up at 3am again to see him on the phone with elmo LMFAOOO THOSE APPS THAT SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF CHILDREN IT SCARES HIM TO you'll hear the most frightful voice just like "when do you want the money?! PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE" you have to hack in a delete that app for the mfer to sleep at night. He'll boast like "I'm not afraid of that shit it's all fake!" wait till u put a elmo plush on his bed ______

Luca YAHH HES SO EUSHWUS he's so cute omg but so messy. LIKE HE CAN CLEAN AFTER HIMSELF BUT HE HAS A HYPER MINDSET so it's like one thing after another, he can't slow down to clean. It's not that bad to clean after him, he doesn't make a bad bad mess. BUT HE DEF NEEDS TO LEARN TO TAKE A BREAK Nothing is shecduled either. It's just like, do this, then that, then this, the profit all of our belongings to sushang(ehe love her) But when he comes home from a long day.. omg Let me elaborate HE WAS CUDDLY ALWAYS BUT HES JUST extra extra cuddly he dosent want to do shit. he'll drag you from whoever you are and force you on the couch/bed and yall with just stay there Maybe for ever HE JUST FALLS ALSEEP SO EASILY like it's kinda concerning hyper energetic turing anemic at any possible moment he has he'll drag you along all the time for those moments He doesn't even speak he just mumbles and occasionally huffs out of relief he so cute omg but then THEN WHEN HES HYPER AGAIN HE WILL BODY SLAM YOU ONTO THE BED OR SOFA AGAIN CHILL THIS AINT THE WWE he doesn't know how strong he is omg.

______

Ike FIANLLY THE MOST LIKE REASONABLE MAN OUT OF EVERYONE but he's like a neat freak also, Like....did u just leave a fucking go gurt on the table when you went to get ur phone? DIRTY ASS MF !!!! he just wants to make sure the house is clean some people say, "your house reflects you" And I think that's true but!! he we we all know he gon snap THE MFER HE NEEDS TO PUT UP WITH his freinds trying be likebthe power rangers or some shit I find it funny they are just all different colors palettes BUT HES GREAT !! HE COOKS, CLEANS, ACTUALLY HAS CALM HOBBIES did I say calm mbmb let's not forget his karaoke SKILLS HELLO??? THE SCREAMING HE CAN DO THE AMOUNT OF TIMES U GUYS GOT NOISE COMPLAINTS nobody would've guess it was from him. he just smiles, aplogizes and hands over the money he handing over the money so willingly cause that mf KNOWS IT WAS HIS FAULT but he don't give a shit LMFAOO he'll shut the door, wait a little, then start cursing out the neighbors in Swedish he's he's scary. he's literally like those innocent ass looking dogs names princesses that's a devil in secret he's ur devil in secret tho <33

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#luca x reader #luca kaneshiro #luca kaneshiro x reader #ike eveland #ike x reader #ike eveland x reader #vox akuma #vox x reader #vox akuma x reader #shu yamino #shu x reader #shu yamino x reader #mysta rias #mysta x reader #mysta rias x reader #luxiem #luxiem x reader #nijisanji en #nijisanji x reader

[waywardstarfishkid]

Outragiously long and stupid rant incoming!

I like never make posts on here but I wanted to scream into the void about heartbreak high. Since s1 I've seen like really strange takes and half the time I'm like is it because people don't know how Australian school is different or is it a lack of critical thinking.

Like in s1 I only saw people either hating or loving spider and don't get me wrong either of those is valid but the way people were explaining it was strange to me.

For me I didn't like spider but not because he was some unrepeatable arsehole I actually think he was a great representation of a lot of Australian guys I knew growing up. Like he says dumb shit but then when things are serious he does the right thing like he helped malakai with the cop (then said fucking stupid things after) and he helped amerie at the festival, he wanted to help harper and let her in even though it would mean he and American would have to stop hooking up.

In comparison I swore people liking dusty who in my eyes was way worse than spider. He acted all woke like he said the right things and then did shitty things like shaming harper and deciding to frame jojo.

Like theyrr both shit but I would trust spider with my drink over but maybe not dusty.

Then ant I understand if you like ant and spider together but I think people maybe don't understand how touchy guys are with each other in Australia. Like gay straight bi whatever guy friends hang off each other and I think it's actually healthy to show that. I also saw someone complaining about spider and ant doing gay shit but only as a joke but I never saw that like I don't think any of it was a joke it just wasn't gay. Like spider calling him pet names them cuddling and stuff is just affection which is actually great especially for men who often don't know how to have affection that's not sexual.

Also can we agree that ant just doesn't care about the gender he's hooking up with like I don't think he's bi I think he's just into who he's into (is that pansexual? Sorry).

I was a bit disappointed with all the bisexual characters ending up in straight relationships but that's mostly because I really wanted an ant malakai and I liked Rowan Malaysia before it went to shit. But at the same time I dont like how people critiquing it often feels like Bi erasure. Like I'm a bi woman whos first gay relationship ended because my gf (lesbian) cheated on me with a lesbian because she constantly thought I was cheating on her with my guy friends and for a long time I just dated guys because I didnt know many bi women and lesbian girls kept being horrified that I would go near a dick (not all of them my ex was very understanding and actually encouraged me to embrace my sexualising when I was just a baby bi) but my point is I totally understand how having a straight relationship when bi can actually be more understanding (at least in mine and my friends experiences) and it's totally valid even though the relationship is straight.

Also people angry about not as much quinni (I agree more quinni she and cash are my loves) I'm actually happy they took a back-seat with her on the relationship front like her and Sasha were a big deal/quinnis first relationship and I think it wouldve really messed quinni up with how it ended. I also love that they're not just centring her storyline around being the gay girl you know like she I a multifaceted queen.

Also for the Sasha redemption, I get why people are calling for it but unlike spider and dusty like Sasha didn't really do anything wrong (except for how she treated quinni but they talked at the end of s1 and seem to be moving to a place of good friendahip) shes mostly just annoying and pretentious like the other idiots actually fuvked up. I don't really want a Sasha redemption I just want to see more of her character make her a bit less of a two dimensional hipster, which I honestly think they only didn't fo because they had a lot of characters to juggled Sasha had to take a back-seat so Missy could shine (and I love Missy so I'll allow it also her and malakais friendship means everything to me the indigenous representation that shows not just the aspects of country and family but also shows them as fully formed characters I LOVE)

Sorry for the obscenely long rant this is just all my thoughts from s1 and s2 so ignore it by all means and also if you disagree that's fine and you are probably right lol.

#heartbreak high #spider #ant #heartbreak high s2 #forgive my spelling #and my opinions

[retroactivebakeries]

miraculous arcs as dril tweets (revised)

Gatekeeper: im sensing some major bullshit coming from the graveyard

Gatecrasher: my friend the only crypto currency you wanna get your hands on is this: bird seed. There is a lot of birds and they all gotta eat.

Wounded Angel: i'm truly thankful towards Irritable Bowel Syndrome for becoming an integral component of my identity and shaping me into the man i am today

Allegory: not many people know this, b ut i actually coined the term "Lunchtime". before then, time and lunch were two entirely immeasurable concepts,

Become Somebody: i am a Teen and that's somethjing i have to live with for the rest of my life.

Star Quality: night time falls. im "corie latin" now. a man of intrigue. i place a bird feather into my glass of scotch and i never do posts about my dick

Child of the Ash: i am skeptical of the concept "Too Big To Fail" mainly because i am extremely big and i fail constantly

Spiritual: all rise for the national anthem, of Jeans

Called Away: Imagine. A world where guns come out of the ground like plants. And all the water is replaced by Bullet's. This is Gun World. It's real

Creature of the Light: every now and then i like to treat myself to a bit of "Lying under oath"

Creature of Fable: THE COP GROWLS "TAKE OFF TH OSE JEANS, CITIZEN." I COMPLY, REVEALING THE FULL LENGTH DENIM TATTOOS ON BOTH LEGS. THE COP SCREAMS; DEFEATED

Creature of Delirium: if you "clap back" someone with a PhD on here, you should be allowed to have their PhD. Its just common sense people. Oh that's tea

Chosen One: im 14 year s old and im already more psychic than my dad

The Ace: i feel like getting shot would;nt be that bad if you knew how to properly "body spin " away from the bullet or slap it away with your hand

Reality Syndrome: BARBARO IS BACK, THE ONCE DEAD REACEHORSE IS BACK TO LIFE AND TEARING UP THE HORSE TRACK LIKE NEVER BEFORE, "THE SECRET" WORKS,THANK U OPRAH A Keeper of Gardens: ask me anything u please, as long as its about my ambitious plan to build a castle in the Jungle for the apes to live in, called "Ape House" Sentimental: every pitbull dog contains a hidden set of skills known as the "Master Skills". the only two men who can unlock them are me and Elon Impresario: (in highly rational and cool voice) i have the higher follower count than them. i wiont let them undermine me Indomitable: IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL Troubled: *enrolls in psychology major* finnally. this will give me the upper hand in dealing with trolls *fails all courses* college is fake actually Accursed: (dismissing waitress handing me the check with a hand wave) no thank you. i dont believe in any of that Primordial: i;m now getting surgery to completely become a Brand. all bothersome human elements (ability to get mad, go to toilet, etc) will be, removed Prophet: guy who invented Prayer: This is so sick. Im going to get so much free shit from god. This is the cleanest scam yet. So glad I invented this Awakening: i nneed constant 24/7 stream of memes and jokes about coffee being good to prove to myself im not living in rthe Fucking matrix

#cmwge #nobilis #glitch #glitchrpg

[s0urw00lf]

Protectors- pack mentality pt.2

Derek hale x reader

An: I need to change and organize myself with these titles because I change the font every update. Anyways hope you enjoy. Luv you bye)

               After Scott left to go to his job y/n also started to leave before being stopped by the by stiles grabbing her arm "wait!" he slightly shouts. The (Y/H/C) girl turned around to face the boy with a look of confusion "what?" she asked. He let go of her hand and let his fall to his side, he tilted his head to the side looking at me as if he was trying to read me or something. " why are you so hell bent on keeping scott and i safe?" he asked shaking his head face still masking confusion.

Y/ns face softened at the question she shrugged her shoulders and began walking to her car while thinking of her honest answer with stiles following. " i dont know, its an urge i guess. I was in you guys shoes once and i didnt have anyone to fall back on, i dont want that happening to you guys." she said. "plus its kinda my job to, more so you now." she finished. Stiles stared at her somewhat confused "what do you mean?" he asked. As they reached her car  she sighed leaning on the hood "my job in the supernatural world is to protect those who need protecting, and sometimes im individually assigned to people. my urge to protect you is stronget than scotts almost as strong as dereks but not quite" she explained. "but why?". once again the girl shrugged "i dont know but it may have something to do with the fact that ive practically known you your entire life" she said carefully hoping that it wouldnt anger the boy somehow. stiles just stared at the girl masking confusion until his faced morphed into shock "holy god! Y/N!" he yelled pulling me into a hug. though this time she expected the hug from the other stilinski and she smiled and hugged back. "i cant belive this, i havent seen you since i was like 5" he said making her laugh. "this is amazing i agree, but i have to get home before Derek shows up here and rips you apart for making me late" she jokes and his eyes widen as he nods vigurously before walking away making the girl laugh once again.

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Y/n parked farther away from the hale house because derek didnt want anyone to get any ideas which by that he meant hunters, which yn couldnt argue but she will give him a small piece of her mind for making her walk so far with no company, yeah shes a werewolf and gets plenty of extersize, that doesnt mean she enjoys the long walks from the entrance of Beacon Hills Preserve to the annoyingly handsome hales house.

when she arrived she walked through the door calling for derek "der? i'm home" she said making her way through the house searching for the tall dark haired man. She knew he was there because she felt him, kind of like a string pulling her towards him. She found him asleep on the couch he looked so peaceful. she smiled at the look of peace that overcame his features every once in a blue moon. " do you have to stare at me every time you find me asleep?" he sassed still half asleep. " that's no way to greet your girlfriend, now is it?" she sassed scoffing. he opened his eyes letting a smile form and opened his arms inviting her to cuddle. Y/N smiled and immedeatly jumped in his arms making him let out a 'umph' causing her to giggle.

she laid cuddling with Derek for a while before we heard a car parking in front of the house making y/n and Derek groan "will we ever be able to have some sort of peace in this town?" she grumbled getting off of Derek.

They made our way upstairs to get a better view on the person (who turns out to be a cop) while staying out of his eyesight. i stood in front of derek peering down at the man who was obvously uneasy as he was startled by his dog barking "stop that" he said scolding the dog. The dog now looking up at the window that we stood at and started barking even more and she felt his heartrate speed up. this confused y/n and she turned her head back to derek to see his eyes shining blue.

Y/n rolled her eyes turning back to the dog who now had saliva splattering everywhere. this made the deputy even more unerved as he looked up to the same place the dog was before deciding to leave. As the deputy drove off she turned back towards derek only to see him smirking in satifaction "you are evil you know" y/n said to him pushing his shoulder back in a playful manner. he smiled at thet and said "what did i do?" feigning innocence. "you were close to making the poor things heart-." She cut herself off turning back to the window. She picked up on a energy. A now well known energy to her Derek went to ask what was wrong but stopped when he heard footsteps. They saw Scott emerge from the woods and step on to the hale property.

    He stood there and y/n went to meet him at the front but was stopped when Derek held his hand out in front of her causing her to look up at him confused.

"I know you hear me" Scott said with a pleading look on his face. "I need your help". At this Derek left the room and made his way to meet Scott who had moved to the porch to keep from getting wet from the rain.

—— time skip——

Y/n was woken up by her phone ringing. She looked at the caller I'd and it read unknown She frowned at this not remembering giving her number to anyone. She sighed and answers with a groggy "hello?". The voice she heard on the other end she recognized instantly as her presumed "god brother" stiles. "Y/n, hey so Scott and I are going to the school to see if he can remember what happened in the bus last night and I was wondering if you'd come with?" He said. "Stiles, how did you get my number?" She asked. "From dad, he keeps your documents in a drawer in the kitchen so it wasn't hard to find." He replied. She sighed and sat up "well yeah I'll tag along, someone's gotta keep you in order.". She heard stiles cheer from the other end causing her to smile.

"Ok I'll come pick you up" he said before hanging up the phone and less than a minute later she heard and sensed Scott and stiles parking at the edge of the woods waiting. Y/n got up and put on a put on a jacket along with her shoes and before walking out of the room she gave Derek a kiss. She made her way downstairs spotting Derek's leather jacket and deciding to slip that one on instead of her own. Making her way out of the house and to stiles jacked up jeep.

When they arrived at the school stiles parked at the gate and they all got out. "Hey no, just me somebody needs to keep watch." Scot said grabbing stiles to face him as he was walking ahead of us. "How come I'm always the guy keeping watch? Plus y/n's here"  stiles asked. "You invited me here to stay and be on watch duty?" Y/n asked kinda offended. "Good point y/n" Scott said pointing back at me. " OK why is it starting to feel like you're Batman and robin?" Stiles asked . "I don't wanna be Robin all the time" he said frowning at his friend. "Nobody's Batman and Robin any of the time." Scott said. "Wha- not even some of the time" stiles asked disappointed. "Just stay here." Scott stated firmly. "Oh my god" stiles replied exaggerating. With that stiles walked back towards me and Scott climbed the gate to complete his "mission".

       Y/n felt stiles mood shift entirely and asked "what's the matter" while still staring off where Scott had disappeared to. "It's not fair" stiles said folding his arms. Y/n looked over from the gate to stiles "what?" She asked. "It's not fair, I feel like I'm useless most of the time and I hate it." He said. She frowned at this "stiles, you can not compare yourself to Scott. You are human yes but let me talk you this. If you weren't here Scott wouldn't have made it and I can say that with full confidence." She said to him making him smile and pull her into a hug. "Thanks" he said. When stiles hugged her this time with all of his emotion she was pulled into a memory. A memory from the past, one that she didn't remember. But they started to fill her brain.  Moments she spent with stiles and the Sherriff along with his mom. She pulled away with tears in her eyes. "I remember." She said. "What?" "I remember, everything now. You unlocked it, the memories." "What the hell are you talking about y/n?"  She felt something in her stomach Scott was remembering. She turned towards the gate and looked passed to the bus. "I'll explain later". All of a sudden a light came from between the buses and stiles rushed to open the car door and honk the horn warning Scott and out he came running flipping over the gate and hurrying into the car with me behind him.

"Go, go, go" Scott rushed stiles and he pulled off. "Did it work did  you remember?" Stiles asked. " yeah, I was there last night and the blood. None of it was mine." Scott replied "so you did attack him" I stated. He turned to me "no I -I saw glowing eyes in the bus but they weren't mine, it was Derek's" he replied "what!?" "What about the driver" stiles and I said at the same time "I think I was trying to protect him." Scott said. "Why would Derek help you remember that he attacked the driver?" Stiles asked with this eyes shifting from y/n in the back to Scott then the road. Scott shrugged shaking his head "That's what I don't get" Scott said. "Maybe it's a pack thing" as y/n went to intervene she got a message on her phone. She took it out of her pocket and the it was from Derek

Derek: where are you? It's like 1 am

Y/n: with Scott and stiles

Derek: your starting to spend more time with them then me

Y/n well they're basically still in their puppy stage mr. Hale

Derek: well when are you gonna be back?

Y/n: on the way home right now

Y/n put her phone in her pocket. And told stiles to just take her to the gas station where derek would pick her up.

Stiles pulled off and not to much later Derek pulled up and got out of the car and she ran to greet him with a kiss. But before she could even reach him a car pulled in in front of and behind his car making y/n's senses heighten. In the car upfront was Chris argent and now assuming the one in the back was full of other hunters. He got out of his car and closed the door along with the goons in the other car. The gas pump was beeping as it filled Derek's car with gas and the tension was high. Derek and y/n both look around at their opponents searching for any higher threat. He took the pump out of the car and returned it to its respected place. "Nice ride" argent spoke up. "Black cars though, very hard to keep clean I would definitely suggest a little more Maintenance."

Y/n stood in front of Derek ready for any sort of threat that may put him in harms way but still spoke up "I'm sure we've done a well enough job." Argent clicked his tongue taking out the window cleaner and wiping the windshield free of any dirt. "When you have something this nice, you wanna take care of it right?" "Personally I'm very protective of the things I love, that's something I learned from my family, but you don't have much of that these days, do you?." When he said this y/n's blood began to boil and she had to fight herself to keep from hurting the man who was so freely talking about someone else's family not knowing that it was his sisters fault they were all gone.

"There we go" he said putting the cleaning tool back. "You can actually look through your windshield now, don't it make everything so much clearer" he said before making his way back to his car. Derek finally spoke up " you forgot to check the oil" at this argent stopped and tuned back towards us " check the men's oil" at that one of the men walked forward with a metal rod and busted the drivers seat window "looks good to me" the man said. "Drive safely" argent said before getting in his car and driving off.

"Im not gonna be able to control myself one of these days if they keep disrespecting you" y/n said glaring as argent drove off in his red Tahoe. Derek sighed still upset by the encounter. He walked around to the drivers side of the car "How the hell am I supposed to get the glass out from everywhere" he said sighting rubbing his forehead. Yn looked at him and frowned even more. She focused on the window and muttered a spell to put the glass back in place temporarily " I should be able to hold it until we get home. Derek walked over to her and pulled her in wrapping his arms around her waist putting his forehead against hers. "I love you so much" he said staring into her eyes making her smile and lifted her hands to his face and pulled him into a kiss. "I love you too, so much" she replied. "Now let's go home before we encounter another unwanted being" she told him before backing away. Derek made sure to open the door for the witch before making his way over to his seat.

The witch and the werewolf had planned on a chill day but being a supernatural in beacon hills, that was never an option. They were sitting on the couch when y/n Sensed Scott near by. She sighed "Scott's coming" she said seconds before the black haired boy bursted through the front door of the old hale house.  "Derek!" He yelled. "I know your here! I know what you did!" He yelled looking around for Derek. Derek unfazed by the yelling of the boy "I didn't DO anything."  He said calmly. "You killed him" Scott said moving through the house. "He died" Derek said getting impatient with the accusations. Scott didn't say anything for a couple of seconds. "Like your sister died?" He asked sarcastically making his way towards the room we were in. At this anger flared In y/n's chest and her fist clenched trying her hardest not to make her way to the boy and threaten him. She was sick and tired of people using Derek's family to get a one up on him.

"My sister was missing. I came here looking for her." Derek said with anger deep in his tone. "You found her" Scott said now closer than before. Y/n felt Derek's pain drifting off of him and it hurt her knowing the effect it had on him. "I found her in pieces! Being used as bait to catch me!" Derek yelled loosing his cool. "i think you killed them both, and who knows maybe y/n helped. i'm gonna tell everyone, starting with the sheriff." Scott finished walking past where Derek and y/n were standing the idea of just loosing more family after just gaining them back sent a pang into y/ns heart. Derek now fully set off by everything McCall was saying he takes Scotts shoulder throwing him down the stairs and he lands on the floor with a loud thud. Y/n descided that it was best to let the two sort out their differences or whatever, and shed deal with scotts accusations later. at the moment she needed to go see her god brother who had been begging her to hang out for a while now wanting to reconnect. She and stiles had chosen to have dinner with the sheriff so they could all catch up.

@bellabadacadabra

okay i know, but in my defense the whole chapter deleted so i cant control it i had to re-write it but i also have other major testing coming up and ive been studying for that and juggling my mess and of a "love life" soo..... ANYWAYS i hope you all enjoy

#derek hale x reader #teen wolf x reader #teen wolf #derek hale #scott mccall #stiles stilinski #scott mccall x reader #stiles stilinski x reader

[evra-harmony]

I accidently hit post the first time so TAKE 2 BLOG INTRO and EDIT HERE i do update this

Version 3.4

DNI

-Racist, ableist ("dIFFeREnTly AbleD!" Counts as ableist btw), pro cop, zionist, or Xenophobic

-Transmed, Truscum, Exclus

-Royed (FMA) bakudeku (MHA) shippers

-Transphobic ("CiS iS a SluR") or Homophobic (not agreeing with that lifestyle counts btw)

-"give me money please" centered blogs

-Conservative, or Pro-life, people who call others Narcissists as an insult

Fandoms i sit in

NANBAKA (Anime and Manga)

No. 6 (Manga)

BSD (Manga)

TPN (anime)

Naruto, Shippuden, Boruto (Animes and mangas)

TBHK (Anime)

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST (Anime and manga, half of 03 and brotherhood.)

The Owl House (show)

Homesick, Weak Hero, Lost In Translation, Teenage Mercenary, Flawless, Windbreaker, Eleceed, Brimstone and Roses, City of Blank, Not So Shojo Love Story, Uriah (Webtoons)

Lookism (Webtoon and animated show)

I can talk movies and books 1-7(8) Harry Potter with you but i fucking loathe JK Rowling

Lord of heroes (game)

Haikyuu kinda (anime)

Hunter x Hunter (anime)

IDW Sonic (Comic)

Fruits Basket (Anime)

My Hero Academia (anime)

Dr. Stone (Manga and first season anime)

Howl's Moving Castle (Movie)

Sally Face (Watched Jacksepticeye play it through at ungodly hours of the night, through a podcast on spotify that did videos.)

Im not a helluva boss/hazbin hotel superfan but i have watched it. Problematic media, but to each their own ig

Maybe a few more im forgetting

Stuff you might want to know

-this blog will contain swearing, maybe a sex joke here or there, some caps.

-i can come off confrontational and as a jerk but im like a bug, im annoying and im more scared of you than you are of me

-spam likes and reblogs are 100% ok with me. I do that sometimes.

-if you fit my dni or if i fit your dni, i wont take it personal if u block me. Like if you've been my mutual for a year and suddenly block like maybe ill take it a little personal but dont feel obligated to interact or keep interacting.

-im still learning. Everyone is always still learning. I request your patience in this trying time

-im not the brightest bulb in the box.

-i do take art reqs and i take them very well

-i dont do commissions because i dont have online pay set up

-i adore asks and questions because i am self centered

-i have a huge interest in music and i do have a lot of character playlists on spotify! If you have a fic in a fandom i like that isn't pure smut, i will likely make you a playlist for it.

-most of my poor spelling and grammar is just set in for personality.

-do not imply or accuse me in that i am a pedophile. Try not make too many lighthearted pedophile jokes with me directly. I have intrusive thoughts and this will occasionally (and frequently) set them off. It's different if humor is your coping mechanism, I'm not gonna tell you how to cope.

Other socials

Discord: 1590Icarus

AO3: 1590Icarus

Spotify: Deeply Unserious Icarus

Pinterest: @.LivedAndWillMakeItTheBaneOfAll

(Dazai's Bolo Tie :])

Feel welcome to reach out at anytime! You're always welcome! Never a bother! Any questions you have are welcomed.

#blog intro #my posts

[birdie-ghost]

GAAAH OMG I HELD MYSELF BUT I ALMOST SCREAMED SEEING THE LAG PAGE-

I no joke went "KEEH-" Before i shut my mouth (i dont want the neighbours calling the cops from me screaming- that happened once a few years back amd i don't it again)

Omg i love this much

Where's the greg stim gmoji when you need it-

EHEHEHEHEHE!!! I've actually got 3 pages drawn of it already, I'm just spreading the post times out because I wan't tumblr to properly see all of them lol.

BUT YEAH!! i really need to do coloured comics more often its a lot of fun. We get a good ol' hurt/comfort chapter :)

#birdieghostalks #ask #answer #laughing at gregory #mutual #friend #page reactions

[heartsforvalentinexx]

my roleplay info !! <3

hi there loves!! you may call me valentine, my pronouns are he/vamp/fangs/petals and i am 19 years old. this post is in dedication to everything that you need to know about me if you want to roleplay! it is very important to me that those who want to roleplay with me read this because it has a lot of my boundaries, my dni and byf/byi, comforts and discomforts and general information that i will need you to know and keep in mind while we roleplay. if you are interested in roleplaying, once you finish reading this post and if you find all terms agreeable, then you are more than welcome to message me or reply to this post! i'll get to you asap. <3

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do not interact: basic criteria (racist, anti lgbtq, ableists, cop supporters, fetishizers, pro-ship, lolicons/shotacons etc), people under 16, yagami yato supporters, jason spisak supporters, hyv apologists, vivziepop apologists, font users, ppl who don't credit art when they send it/when they use it on their profile, ai art users, uses the word "cringe" to be mean to other people, ppl who make mommy/daddy etc jokes, kaeluc shippers, vanco shippers, silco x viktor shippers, huskerdust/snakebomb/charlalastor shippers

before you follow/interact: use tone indicators when talking to me, please ask me before adding me or sending me a friend/follow request (ppl i dont know adding me without permission makes me really anxious), if you want my socials or my uid for genshin or hsr just ask, don't directly talk of feeding tubes/hospitals at me, don't talk badly about my pets/comfort things, educate/correct me etc when needed, dont ask about my eating habits, i make nsfw jokes lmk if i make you uncomfortable or if u want me to stop, i curse + use caps a lot without censoring, i'm an age/pet regressor, ask before venting to me, dont joke-flirt with me unless i say its okay

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roleplay information

• i only roleplay on discord, and i like to use private servers as a way to stay organized and store information.

• my timezone is eastern standard time! (EST)

• i'm literate to novella. i write 3-5+ paragraphs regularly and i write in third person. i will only ever write under my usual length if i am unmotivated, tired, feeling rushed or feel as though my partner has not given me enough of a response to work with. my length usually depends on several things (how well i'm doing mentally/physically, if i'm busy or not, my motivation etc). if you'd like samples of my writing, or if you have questions, i'm more than happy to provide. i would just appreciate if you matched my length and pov.

• i will not be interested in anything if there isn't romance in it. soft romance has always been my jam. i'm more than happy to do familial or platonic pairings in roleplays and such, but if there isn't romance, i will be bored very quickly and likely give a very short response if i respond at all. i enjoy fantasy, adventure, drama, slice of life roleplays etc. i also enjoy angst, but i can't take a lot of it because i'm sensitive and it may upset me so please talk out anything you wanna do that's angsty before putting it into play. the only genres i won't do is horror, nsfw (erp, +18, etc) and anything with furries (nothing against them ofc, just not my jam).

• i would like to think i'm very creative when it comes to plots so i come up with things on the spot very easily, but i can't guarantee i'm always going to be able to come up with something and i certainly will not be doing all of the work to think a plot out. i would like it if my roleplay partner was invested in it as well. it's okay if you don't have anything in mind beforehand, though it is extremely helpful and less straining on both of us. of course i don't mind coming up with one together! i'm always happy to work something out and talk about it.

• i mainly do 1x1 roleplays and that is my main comfort because social settings give me a lot of anxiety. i may be interested in a small private roleplay setting, but please ask me first. i'm not too interested in public roleplay settings, so you can ask me about those, but i don't guarantee a yes.

• i am comfortable with doing both fandom and fandom-less roleplays. i am comfortable with cc x cc and oc x oc. i also love oc x cc, however i only do double-ups with that. my fandom list is below so you can scroll and go read that, and there are definitely more than what i put on there so you can ask me for more if you want. as for fandomless roleplays, i have many ocs to work with. i will send them and their information once we exchange discord users and get to talking. i am comfortable with bxb, bxg, gxg, bxa/gxa/axa, even polyamorous ships!! just ask me and i'll tell you if i want to do it!

• i'm typically almost always available given that i don't attend school or work, but that doesn't mean i will always want to roleplay or talk. i enjoy doing other things than roleplaying like gaming and watching movies/shows, i have friends that i like to talk to and spend time with, i have my mental and physical health that i need to maintain etc. please just be mindful that i can't always get back to you right away, and please for the love of the gods do not spam me. i also ask that you understand that my responses take time, usually 3-7+ days. you can send me a reminder if i haven't responded within over a week. please just understand that i will get to you when i can and so feel up for it.

• if you are comfortable, please send me your triggers. i'm not comfortable publicizing my triggers due to the fear of having them used against me, and i'd rather avoid that, so i will not post them here. we can send them into a channel made specifically to store our triggers once we make a private server. i want to make sure that we are comfortable with each other and know each other's boundaries, so only if you want to and feel safe to, then please send me your triggers and discomforts. if you aren't, though, then that's okay! just let me know that that's the case and i will be sure to be mindful. /nf lh gen

• please communicate your feelings and thoughts with me. if you wanna change something or start a new roleplay, or maybe you wanna stop roleplaying and part ways, then tell me. if you have an idea for the roleplay, tell me about it so we can talk about how we feel about it and if we wanna do it. i promise you i won't be mad at you if you talk to me about things, if anything i want you to. this also goes for outside of roleplay too. you are more than free to text me about anything at any time. i love making new friends and talking to people. i don't expect you to want to be bffs or anything, but if you want friendship, then don't hesitate.

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fandom list

• yona of the dawn

• snow white with the red hair

• fruits basket

• ouran high school host club

• fena: pirate princess

• skate the infinity

• genshin impact

● honkai star rail

• arcane: league of legends

• the arcana

• cherry crush

• marvel cinematic universe

• netflix's castlevania and castlevania nocturne

there's a lot more that i'm into other than this, so you can ask me !!

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#roleplay #1x1 roleplay #roleplay partner finder #roleplay partner needed #roleplay partner search #roleplay partner wanted #1x1 rp #roleplay partner ad #1x1 rp search

[pillatedcompills]

FUCKING BULLSHIT.

I'M NOT OVER THIS. "He needs to consult a therapist or a professional" "i don't want him to kill himself". Does that even matter at this fucking point man?!??! EVERYONE HATES ME. PEOPLE HATE ME. I KNOW FOR CERTAIN PEOPLE WANT ME DEAD.

It's the sheer fact that I WANT to die because of you, because if it weren't for you I wouldn't be hated. Sure my ravioli jokes pissed some people off, but not to this degree. SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE ME BLOCKED. I can't go anywhere in this fandom without people spreading my fucking name around, calling me insane, calling me immature. Hating me and blocking me, it's the same BULLSHIT treatment I got back in the fnaf fandom. It's only a matter of FUCKING time, I swear to you. I have a therapist , I don't tell them SHIT and for a good reason. I don't NEED help, Nor do I WANT help. What I WANT is for people to treat me like a damn person. What I WANT is for people to stop blocking me. What I WANT is for people to stop spreading shit around about me and calling me a monster and a bad person. What I WANT is to never have to be in the crossfire of a one way argument ever again. What I WANT is for things to get better, but THEY DONT.

They NEVER get better, and I know for sure they FUCKING won't. There was no guilt trip , no this or that. IM TIRED, AND IM DONE. I am hated by so many people now, and that feeling eats me from the inside out. IF YOU HAD YOUR WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF YOU, ONLY FOR A BITCHASS FANDOM AND PEOPLE TO TREAT YOU LIKE SHIT YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND.

The second I get the strength I will kill myself, and I'll do it RIGHT this time. No more cop outs, no more suffering . Idc if it's just a fucking video game, IDGAF. I want closure, and it seems the only way i'm getting it is by fucking ending it. GOODNIGHT.

[pancake365]

Shadow of Obsession

Summary: Rookie Cop Leon Kennedy gains an unknown admirer Tags: Stalking, Obsession Word Count: 800

'Another late night doll? You know it's not good for you.'

Leon frowned, staring down at the text message. He was in the midst of alphabetically sorting police reports in the file room when his phone vibrated. Wanting a break from the stacks of endless paperwork, he grabbed it, only to see a text from an unknown number. It was weird, seeing as it was his first week in Raccoon City and he didn't know anyone well enough to fork over his number, much less call him doll. But maybe it was a prank? Another hazing ritual his coworkers were doing to him? He decided to play along.

'i know, lol. Got 2 finish sum work b4 tmrw.' Leon texted back, before setting his phone back on the desk, turning his attention back to the old, weathered files scattered across the desk. He only began to settle back in the rickety desk chair when his phone buzzed again, and he saw it was another text from an unknown number.

'You're too nice, sweetheart. You should've told that older cop to shove it when they asked you to cover for them.'

Leon raised an eyebrow, re-reading the message. He had been one of the few people remaining in the precinct for the night when the front desk officer approached him strong-arming Leon into taking over their alphabetizing project, dropping the boxes of mixed files on his desk when they left. He was annoyed because it wasn't the first time they pulled this stunt, but as the new hire, his complaints fell on deaf ears.

'How do u know?' Leon texted back hesitantly, his fingers lingering over the text pad. 'Who is this?"

His eyes darted around the empty room, searching for someone hiding in a corner, ready to jump out at him. It was empty with the quiet hum of the radiator his only company for the night. Rubbing his eyes, Leon set the phone back down to resume his sorting when his phone buzzed again. He ignored it in favor of his work, placing the remaining files into the rusty dented file cabinet and locking it shut, a sense of relief washing over him. Finally, he could go back to his motel and get some much-deserved rest.

Getting up from the desk, Leon stretched, feeling his bones crackle and pop from his extended time sitting. Straightening up, Leon's gaze hovered over his phone and he couldn't help but pick it up, curious to see if the anonymous person was still texting him.

You can call me your secret admirer. I've had my eye on you for a long time, cutie.

Cutie? Doll?

Leon rolled his eyes at the nickname as he headed down to the locker rooms to change into civilian clothing. It was bad enough that he was stuck doing someone else's work, but now he was getting called cutesy nicknames by some nameless weirdo.

I'm not cute, or a doll. dont call me that, it's gross

Leon barely managed to put away his phone when it buzzed again as he reached his locker.

Leon baby, if I say you're my doll, you're my doll. And I can't wait for you to be mine.

A shiver ran down his spine reading the response, feeling an ominous threat behind those words. Now he was certain it wasn't any of the cops in the precinct. His coworkers would never joke around like this towards him. They were into slapstick comedy like tripping a guy or gluing his desk on the ceiling, not whatever this was.

'i'm not gunna b urs, r u crazy?' Leon typed back quickly, scowling at his phone. 'u need help, pls lose my number.'

After hitting send, Leon blocked the number immediately, his arms prickling with sweat. Who the hell was that and how did they get his number? Maybe his ex-girlfriend posted it on Craigslist to get back at him for the breakup or maybe it was a coworker? A sicko who wanted to give him a real good scare. Whatever it was, he wanted no part of it.

Reaching his locker, he fiddled with the rusty combination lock, jerking it around until it was forced open. Swinging the creaky metal door, Leon froze at the sight. Inside, laid on top of his neatly stacked clothing was a picture of him sitting at the receptionist's desk, sorting files. The feeling of dread washed over him as he shakily reached out and picked it up. Staring at this in disbelief, Leon felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. His hands began to tremble violently as he took out his phone and read a text from another unknown number.

'Did you enjoy my gift doll?' 'There's no use blocking me.' I told you, you're going to be mine.'

#leon kennedy #resident evil #resident evil 2 remake #cw stalking #cw obsession #drabble #kinda hate this #oh well #he looks so adorable in this gif i could scream #leons stalker