#don’t change one iota you’re perfect
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Omg is that Way? He’s alive? Is he famous in the international fashion industry too?
#pit babe#pit babe 2#pit babe spoilers#Oh what a trainwreck of a show#don’t change one iota you’re perfect#its giving the same level of insanity as season 1#and im here for it#of course everyone is back from the dead#or maybe thats Tony’s twin brother!#or Ways’ clone!#Its all equally possible in this show#omegawho? never heard of her
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steddie au where soul mates share pain
The first time Eddie notices is the Monday after the alleged fight with Jonathan. Steve’s bruises match up exactly with the unexplained blinding pain he felt on Saturday. He wants to ask did Jonathan keep punching, even when he knew you were down? Because Eddie could feel on his knuckles every hit that landed almost as clearly as the ones he took and he knows which stopped first.
But then Hagan’s telling anyone who will listen that Jonathan did it because Steve called him queer like it’s the funniest thing in the world and Eddie decides it’s a coincidence. The universe couldn’t have made that big of a mistake
The next time is after Billy. It feels like an actual punch to the stomach when he sees Steve all beat up again after another weekend of phantom concussion-induced nausea. He watches Steve’s fingers probe his swollen eye and does his best to hide his own accompanying flinch. Not that anyone would put it together, least of all Steve.
He gets his first tattoo after that. The pain doesn’t really bother him, not when he’s almost certain Harrington is feeling it too. It almost feels good.
The third time he doesn’t know what happened. Someone did a pretty intense job of rearranging Harrington’s face all over again, he’s sure, but what really stuck out amidst the whole experience was the moment at the end when he could’ve sworn he felt the prick of a needle being pushed into his vein.
He seeks Harrington out after that. Because as much as he doesn’t like the guy, that sequence of hurts has alarm bells ringing in his head. But they don’t go to school together anymore and it’s a few days before his concern is put to rest. Eddie finds him at a moment where he’s not actively looking for him, just running errands for Wayne in town and he looks okay. Happy, even.
He’s working the counter at Family Video with Buckley, face healing nicely. They’re laughing at a joke he can’t hear from outside the store, and he wonders when they became friends. Buckley would be better off alone than with a friend like the Harrington he knew, so either she’s sacrificed her individuality on the alter of Steve Harrington’s perfect hair, or Steve’s changed at least a little since high school. But even if reality has given Steve an iota of perspective about the fickleness of teenage popularity, Eddie doesn’t feel any more inclined to get involved with the guy.
He doesn’t see Steve again until the boathouse after that. It doesn’t register it’s Steve he has up against the wall – broken bottle to his jugular – until later and he’s fighting the urge to massage his throat too. He tries to forget about what he knows – now is definitely not the time for it to come out, and despite Henderson singing Steve’s praises all year, Eddie maintains the universe fucked up on them somehow.
Then Steve gets pulled under Lover’s Lake and the others don’t know what’s happening to him. But he does. God, he does. It’s the worst pain he’s ever felt and he’s screaming and cursing, and the others are diving in after Steve, and he knows there’s only one way to make it stop, but he doesn’t know if he can swim with this intense pain lancing through him. Somehow he pulls himself together enough to get in the water and make it through the gate. The pain doesn’t nearly stop when they save Steve, but it feels a little less like dying and that will have to be enough.
When Steve tells the girls he’s okay, Eddie feels like laughing (it’s either that or wailing in pain at this point, and the latter would give him away) because the guy is emphatically not okay. Eddie feels like throwing up, or curling into a ball and not moving, never moving, but here’s Steve getting up and making out as if he can just walk it off. Henderson was right, Steve really is a bad-ass.
A/N: That’s all I feel like writing for now, but there may be more, not sure yet. I have another steddie soul mate drabble here if you’re interested, but otherwise, thanks for reading :)
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Wolf Heart [6/7]
He wasn’t sure what woke him - the storm still howled and he was cozy warm beneath the furs. The air smelled smoky and when he peeked open his eyes, he saw slits of grayish light through the door. Dawn, then. Or what could be considered dawn in a blizzard. Fenrys hummed, reaching out for Lenna - but she’d turned in his arms to face him.
And she was watching him.
Should it have been strange? Because it wasn’t. Somehow, his mate staring at him while he slept didn’t stir even an iota of upset or indignity. He stretched an arm overhead to rest his head on, laying the flat of his opposite hand on the warm furs where she’d lain earlier. Still warm. So she hadn’t been awake long.
Her black eyes were as sooty as the burned-out fire in the center of the cave. And soft. So soft.
He wouldn’t have thought, that first time he’d met her, that she had tenderness hiding beneath her skin. But now...whatever had changed - he’d changed, the feelings between them had changed - perhaps she’d changed, too. And she was allowing him a glimpse of what she guarded so well with her sharp tongue and snapping teeth.
It was beautiful. That openness, that sweetness...
Fenrys gave a lazy smile. “Keep looking at me like that, Len, and I’ll think you like me.”
Lenna didn’t smile back, but her expression smoldered. She lifted her hand to touch his unshaven jaw, tracing along the bone as she glanced at his mouth, and then back to his eyes. “I do like you,” she said quietly.
His heart swelled. Catching her smaller hand in his, he brought it to his lips to kiss, over and over again, palm and fingers and knuckles. She didn’t pull away.
“Did you sleep well?” he murmured, nuzzling her palm with his nose. “I can put you back to sleep if you’re still tired.”
One of her brows flicked upward. “How? By knocking me over the head?”
He chuckled. “No. By holding you. Or rubbing your back. Or - gods forbid - singing to you.”
“You’d sing to me?”
“If you don’t mind whatever bats are living in the corner of this cave falling dead around us.”
A smile graced her face as prettily as a sunrise, and Fenrys nearly groaned aloud at the sight of it. How was she so perfect - “I haven’t an ear for music,” Lenna confessed. “I wouldn’t even notice if you missed all the notes.”
“You were made for me,” he said, repeating his words from last night as he leaned closer to her, hand slipping beneath the furs to grasp her hips, dragging her closer. Breath mingled, scented with sleep and their mixed scents into something homier than any hearth. She gazed up at him, desperate yearning in her eyes - and he kissed her.
Her fingers tangled in his hair, and he kissed her.
Her lips parted to allow his tongue to slip in, and he kissed her.
She moaned inside of him, her need planting itself in his very lungs - and he kissed her.
Fenrys was half-dizzy, shivering as her hands traced over his bare chest and smoothing down the hair that grew there. Over his muscled shoulders, down his arms to grip into his biceps - and his hold tightened where it cradled her head, holding her waist - he pulled her knee over his hips, swallowing her gasp as he groaned her name into her mouth.
“My Lenna,” he said huskily, and her head dipped back to bare her throat to him - gods, it was a beautiful sight - that unblemished skin with two white marks where he’d bit her in the ice house. “My wolf heart. My mate.” And he sank his teeth into the other side of her throat, holding her tightly as she thrashed in agony, in pleasure - tasting that wild blood that coursed through her.
She tasted of wind and trees and mountains. Of raging rivers and open skies. Stars and snow.
And she was his.
“Mine,” Fenrys growled, and dragged his tongue over the bleeding points as Lenna whimpered.
But her fingers tightened in his hair, jerking his head back as she bared her own teeth at him - he swallowed at the magnificent sight, that pretty ferocity, her untamed beauty.
“Mine,” she said back, and he knew what she wanted - ignoring the painful arousal between his legs, he loosened his grip on her. Enough to lay back, stretching his neck as he watched through hooded eyes as she stared at his neck. As if choosing her placement - Lenna glanced up at him with a half-feral grin, but that only made him want her more.
“Yours,” he said.
Her dark head lowered. He hissed at the gentle sensation of her breath against his sensitive skin, her nose trailing down the bump of his throat - she breathed him in, again and again as she shuddered, holding his head in one hand as she took her time.
“Just do it,” Fenrys rasped, unable to stand the agony of waiting - and he nearly howled when her canines pierced the junction of his shoulder. But the pain was overwhelmed by the rush of warmth. Heat - her heat - running through him as he groaned, every sensation in his body turned to his neck where Lenna’s hot tongue lapped him up.
“Mine,” she said again, but this time in a purr. And she propped herself on an elbow, gazing down at him with a very smug, very wolfish smile with his blood on her teeth and lips.
“How do I taste?” he managed to ask. Tangled his hand in what was left of her braids.
“Like something I’ve denied myself all my life,” Lenna said. “And now I can’t imagine living without.”
Again - Fenrys found his mind utterly emptied of words. How she could turn him into this...soft and boneless and wanting and without even a joke to offer. He just swallowed down the thick emotion in his throat, tucking black hair behind her ears as she licked the blood from her lips.
“I said I would use my mouth on your cock next,” she told him, hand already slipping beneath the fur to find his length, rigid from just the kissing and biting. “Unless you want to go back to sleep.”
He barked out a laugh. Shaking as he was. “I can’t sleep like this, Len.”
She grinned, and his hips arched off the cot as she stroked him. Her voice was a purr as she leaned next to his ear and said, “Good.” And Fenrys knew with a dizzying certainty that he was about to be tortured in the very best of ways.
✵
When the storm quieted they left that cave, the last of the venison snapped up and eaten frozen in their wolf-forms as the world swam grey and white around them - and they ran.
No more two bodies, but so entwined and familiar that his mate felt like an extension of himself, and he of her. Picking the trail, finding water, hunting for meals, dozing out of the wind - all done as easily as breathing. Fenrys wrapped himself around her every chance he got, nuzzling her fur and warming her with his heat. And she hit his face with her tail and a wolfy grin, making him growl, but he’d never felt so alive in his life.
Like this, the mountains streaked as little more than grey and black and white blurs around them. The only marker of their speed as the Wolf Tribes grew nearer, and his steps dragged more.
If he was being honest - or if he could speak at all in this form - he might have admitted he didn’t want to be around anyone else. Not for a while. Not until the prospect of Lenna being seen by other males didn’t fill him with a ferocious, bloodthirsty rage. He twitched in his sleep their last rest before they would arrive - it wasn’t until she held his head down with hers, yapping a warning to him beneath the starlit sky, that he quieted at last. Lulled by her breathing. Her scent. Her presence.
At the entrance of the tribe caves - where he’d entered two months earlier to lay eyes on her the first time - Fenrys saw the sentries and blanched. Hackles rising. Teeth baring. And he snapped at Lenna’s tail as she leapt atop the stone lip. She turned to snarl back at him.
What?
Don’t shift yet. He leapt up beside her, touching her nose with his.
They padded through the caves, warming gradually through each antechamber as they passed the guards. Fenrys kept his growling to a minimum - they weren’t stopped. Lenna was likely recognized. But that meant those sentries knew her; they knew his mate -
Deep breaths, boyo. You can’t keep her away from everyone forever.
But when a young woman pointed to him from a hearth, Lenna was the one that barked out a warning, tail flickering in the air as the woman lost all the color in her face. And Fenrys huffed out a wolfish laugh, nuzzling his mate’s furry ears to keep her moving.
Don’t make a scene, he rubbed into her skin. I can’t help how handsome I am.
But that time her bark was for him. And he laughed some more.
Lord Romul’s hearth was blazingly warm when they arrived, but he wasn’t there - Lenna didn’t delay her shifting any longer, dropping her pack onto the cave ground as she rolled her neck, stretching out her shoulders. The few people around his end of the caves murmured greetings - which stalled as Fenrys shifted beside her and glared them down.
“You certainly know how to clear a room,” Lenna remarked, tugging off her mittens with an amused glance.
“That’s rich judgment from you,” Fenrys said. “You nearly attacked that poor woman earlier!”
She glowered in his direction, but her black eyes held no real malice. “She was interested in you.”
“Of course she was,” he teased, flicking her nose as she showed him her teeth. “I’m insufferably handsome. I wasn’t the least bit interested in her, you know.”
“Insufferably arrogant,” Lenna muttered back, leaning up close to him so that their faces were a scant few inches apart. “If you were interested in anyone else I’d peel away your skin while you live and chop you into pieces.”
Fenrys opened his mouth to respond, but his ears pricked at the sound of footsteps - he turned in time to hear Romul’s faint,
“Temis be praised,” as the old man smiled, and said to his granddaughter. “Welcome home.”
✵
They shared a meal at the hearth. This time, Romul didn’t sit between them - Fenrys held Lenna to his side as if they were fastened together, considering the consequences of hauling her into his lap while they feasted on bread for the first time in weeks. A hot, preserved apple pudding with spices he’d missed. And a wine rich as the night.
“I was worried for the safety of my people if you two returned still at each other’s throats,” Romul said, observing them with a measure of interest. “Now I only have to worry about the safety of anyone who looks too long at either of you.”
A snarl began in Lenna’s throat. But Fenrys laughed off the comment, resting a hand on his mate’s knee to keep her from sniping.
“We’ll control ourselves,” he said smoothly, though it felt like a lie. The mating between them was too fresh for him to think straight quite yet - and if he were being truthful...Lenna’s possessiveness was a wondrous sight to behold. He was ready to spread her out and lick her for the adorable little display she’d put on earlier.
“You knew we were mates?” Lenna asked her grandfather. More curious than anything.
“Oh, yes,” Romul said with a smile. “When one has lived as long as I have, those things become...obvious. I would not have been pleased to allow you to travel the glaciers if I was not confident you would be taken care of by your mate.”
She made a humph sound.
“Lenna is a pleasure to care for,” Fenrys grinned. “Always so willing to let someone else do the dirty work. So sweet-tempered.”
Romul’s brows lifted. And then he chortled. “A fine match this is,” he said, eyeing Lenna’s canines as she glared at Fenrys, clearly displeased by the teasing. “Why don’t you two rest for the remainder of the day - it’s a draining journey from the top of the world.”
“Rest,” Lenna huffed later, as she was stalking through the cave corridors while Fenrys jogged to keep up with her. “Rest. He didn’t mean rest. He probably wants us to get the mating out of our systems so we’re less volatile around everyone else.”
“He has the safety of his people to look out for,” Fenrys said reasonably, and at the passing of a male he gripped Lenna’s forearm and dragged her to the wall, allowing the other male to pass. His face paled as he saw them, and rushed away. Fenrys breathed again.
“Well, with you ready to tear out any and all throats,” she snapped. A little ways further she yanked open the curtain to the steaming hot spring. A few other bathers were in there, but it took only the few moments for their scents to travel through the misty air for the others to jolt, dripping wet, to leave them be.
“It has its perks,” he remarked.
He should feel guilty, perhaps. But he didn’t. Especially when he sank into a simmering hot hollow in the ground, letting the heat ease the soreness of his muscles - and Lenna sat naked behind him, untying his braids to comb the tangles he’d built up during their travel. The quiet of the bathing room, so far from the winter winds in the mountains...it could feel like their own world. If the scents of other humans and Fae didn’t linger. But Fenrys swallowed back the possessiveness in his blood, letting his mate calm him.
“Dip your head back,” she ordered. He did, dragging his fingers through his hair to get it all wet. Lenna slapped his hands away, dripping some sort of fragrant soap all over his head as she replaced his fingers with hers, and he moaned, going lax as she rubbed the soap into his hair.
“You’re an angel,” Fenrys mumbled.
“And you’re the only one who would say that to me,” she said, her voice amused.
“Good. That means that this part of you,” he waved a damp hand over his shoulder, “is just for me.”
Lenna laughed a soft laugh. “You think this is for you?”
“Who else would it be for?”
“Me. I want to make you pretty.”
Stunned, Fenrys had nothing to say. And then he barked with laughter. “Pretty? Did the cold get to your head, Len? I’m handsome, not pretty.”
“You’ll be pretty when I’ve braided your hair again.”
“Are you just doing that so my hair doesn’t get in the way when I’m riding you?”
“Yes.” Beneath the water her foot kicked into his side. “Now stop talking.”
He didn’t bother pretending not to obey. It felt too divine, relaxing in that steam while she cleaned his hair. The heat soaking out the stink of smoky fires and game meat and blood. Letting all that had happened sink away into the past. Leaving just the future to think of. A future with her.
Lenna combed through his hair once it was to her satisfaction, portioning it out before she began to braid back one bit after another. The tugging on his scalp sent goosebumps down his spine, and Fenrys had to hold back more than one hiss as his cock grew beneath the water.
She’d probably pull his hair in bed, if he asked. He’d have to ask.
Once she tied back the last of the braids, deeming him satisfactory, he grasped her wrist and turned in the water, staring up at her as she smiled back. “Your turn,” he said.
She sank into the water to wind her arms around his neck, kissing him in the steam as he swam her to where she could sit. And when he tried to pull away, she tugged him back with a yank on his hair, and he groaned into her mouth.
“I knew it,” Lenna said.
“Knew what?
“You like it.”
Fenrys was watching her mouth; her pink lips curled into a smile as if ready to devour him. “I don’t see the problem,” he said raggedly.
It must have been an hour later that they finally left the bathing room, wrapped in towels with their travelling clothes left behind to be gathered up and washed by Romul’s staff. Lenna tucked herself beneath his arm, and he kissed the top of her sweet-smelling head as she led him - not to the guest room where he’d stayed last time, but further into the mountain.
“Is this it at last?” he crooned in a question. “Have you decided to butcher me at last?”
“How could I butcher a cock as good as yours?” Lenna purred back, and stroked the outside of his towel - Fenrys jerked into her hand, grinding his teeth together as she laughed. “If you want your other room, go right ahead. I simply thought my chamber would be more comfortable.”
“All I need is about seven feet of floor space and you,” he told her.
“I wouldn’t enjoy you taking me on the floor.”
“You can take me while I’m on the floor.”
Her smile was wicked in the flickering torches. “If that’s what you like.”
“Let me guess,” Fenrys said. “You prefer feather beds and silken sheets.”
She paused outside a thick wooden door, hands on his chest as she stood on her tiptoes to brush her mouth against his. He breathed her in - his mate, his mate, his mate - senses clouding as she drew back, and then kissed him again, this time with her tongue slipping in to get reacquainted with his.
Fenrys growled, hoisting her up by the rear as she wrapped her legs around his hips. Awkward with the towels, but they wouldn’t keep those for long - he shouldered through the door to be met with her cool scent clinging to cold furniture in a chamber he could barely care about. But a fire had been started, the sheets were fresh, and he made love to his mate atop them for hours and hours until they fell asleep in a tangled heap as if they were still wolf.
✵
What was in that soap he’d used in her hair? He woke with the rich scent of it in his nose, breathing in deeply as he wove his fingers through her warm tresses - scattered with a few braids that he’d put in himself - but gods, the smell. It was like her own spruce-kissed scent but warmed and accentuated by spices he didn’t recognize. Her cheek was pressed to his chest, and Fenrys lazily trailed his fingertips up her bare back as he kept breathing her in. Savoring her.
The fire had burned to embers during the night - careless of him to let that happen. But though the air in the chamber was brisk, it wasn’t cold. And it was morning: Lenna had the luxury of a carved window high above the bed, likely made by some spell to keep the weather out. The sky was a watery blue. Not a cloud in view.
She stirred in his arms, her mouth warm on his skin. “Are you going to ride me or keep sniffing my hair?” she mumbled, and he chuckled darkly.
“Ready for a ride already, Len? After we went at it so long last night?” Fenrys left a warm kiss on her scalp, tracing circles on her back. “My cock needs a rest sometimes, too.”
She turned her head with a glare just for him - chin on his chest, eyes molten black. Gods, she was so beautiful. “Not likely,” Lenna said, and he twitched as her hand found him beneath the covers. Hard.
He pursed his lips. “I was trying to tease.”
“You failed. Are you going to ride me or not?”
So blunt. Fenrys grinned and hooked a leg around hers, rolling her onto her back as he thrust his erection against her hip, smoothing her dark hair over the pillows. Her bottom lip was caught between her teeth, the heat rising in her eyes. He stared at her mouth for a moment, and then dipped his head to trace her pout with his tongue.
“I’ll need to find some skin to mark you again,” he said. Indeed - their sojourn at the outpost cavern had left her littered in his teethmarks, and he with hers. Some had faded in the weeks since, but not all. Fenrys pulled back to rake his gaze possessively over her throat and breasts. He already looked forward to making more.
“Later,” Lenna said, and reached between their bodies to grasp his rigid length.
He nearly choked, moving his hips back to allow her space - and her smirk grew as she stroked him with the lazy sort of smugness that she hated when he used. But he didn’t mind. She wanted to test him. She needed to push everything between them like the wolf she was. Fenrys knew he could take it. Every bite, every snarl, every snap - every tease and every growl. He moaned, thrusting up into her hand as she tilted her chin up, watching him with glittering eyes.
“Have I convinced you yet?” she asked in a purr. He growled back, clutching her hands to pin onto the bed beside her head. Lenna didn’t bother hiding her grin as he moved his hips to align with hers, dipping his cock into her waiting warmth as he pinned her down, staring, staring, staring - at this moment joining, she glowed as if moonlight lived in her veins.
“More,” she said, her voice breaking at the edges.
Fenrys thrust in deeper, and pulled himself out again.
“More,” Lenna begged.
A growl built in his chest. His hips snapped forward.
“More - ”
He didn’t stop. He couldn’t. He slid her arms above her head, using one hand to secure them as his other moved to her hips, spreading her wider. He groaned aloud, each thrust into her delicious, tight slick building the heat in his bones.
“More - ”
Fenrys braced himself on his knees, dipping his head to kiss her. Fingertips pressed into the flesh of her backside, and each little pant she made when he entered her was swallowed up in his mouth to brand itself into his blood. She strained against him, bracing her hips to take him deeper, deeper - the wooden bed was creaking as if they’d shake it to pieces, but he ignored it. Everything was her: her scent, her lithe strength, her taste, her whimpering growing in volume as he felt his cock squeezed by her body - wiping everything from his mind except Lenna, Lenna, Lenna -
Her climax was nearly a shout, her back arching off the bed as he thrust faster to carry her through it. Extending the plunge of her pleasure as long as he could before he followed - Fenrys dug his teeth into her throat, sucking her scent off of her skin as he felt fingernails rake down his back. Overtop the remaining scars from earlier loving. Each inch of broken skin hissed in the air and he hissed with it, savoring the bite of pain.
“Mark me,” Lenna panted. “Mark me.”
He knew what she meant. When he was on that precipice, he withdrew suddenly, leaving her slack and spread on the bed as he braced himself on his knees. Staring down at her flushed beauty as his head spun. Fenrys grasped his cock in his hand and grunted, pumping himself through the last, dizzying moments before he fell forward on his other hand, unable to even keep upright. Line after line of white seed - his seed - adorned her stomach, her breasts. And then her hand was there, covering his to keep stroking him as he nearly whimpered at the sensitivity.
“You’re mine.” Her eyes were blown wide, black and depthless.
“You’re mine,” Fenrys said back.
Ragged. Broken. Laid bare. And somehow his blood hadn’t stopped rushing, even with the intensity of this climax - he slid back, bedsheets and blankets pushed aside as he laid on his belly before his mate, lifting her knees over his shoulders. Lenna was already squirming, trying to rub herself against him as he slid his fingers through her soaked curls, grinning in admiration at the thick scent of her arousal and the glistening wetness of her. It was still swollen, flushed dark.
“You’re mine,” he purred again, and dipped his head to lick around her entrance. Then swallowed her slick, groaning at the taste that they’d made together.
“More,” Lenna breathed.
Above him, her eyes were screwed shut, sweat beading on her forehead despite the chill in the chamber. Fenrys smiled, rubbing his cheek to the inside of her thigh. But taking his time earned him a snarl, a yank on his braids from his mate - he laughed aloud to disguise the heat that ran through him.
“You’re very lucky you didn’t find a human mate,” he told her fondly. “No one but a Fae could keep up with you.”
“Is that so?” She propped herself on her elbows, lips curled to bare her teeth as she glared down at him. “Because I don’t see you keeping up with me.”
“I’m taking my time,” Fenrys said. And kept his eyes fastened on hers as he leaned forward again to lick her again - this time much, much slower, scraping the flat of his tongue against her sex as Lenna’s eyes unfocused slightly, and she blinked hurriedly, tipping her head back. “Aren’t I allowed to take my time, Len?”
“No,” she grumbled, falling back onto the bed.
He laughed again, the sound rough, and decided to have mercy on his mate. This time.
It wasn’t until a knock rapped on the door, sunlight streaming through the window above to herald midday while Lenna rode him to wring climax after climax from them - that Fenrys was pulled from his hazy pleasure to realize that the world still existed. Somewhere, at least.
“I’ve brought Lord Fenrys’s clothes,” a muffled voice said - but Lenna didn’t stop. And that just made him more aroused, more hard - “And Lord Romul sent a meal.”
“Do you - want to - eat?” Fenrys managed to ask his mate, but she just shook her head, dragging his hands to her breasts to worship while her body worshipped his cock. He grinned, thrusting his hips higher to hear her surprised gasp turn into a long, howling mewl of pleasure.
Distantly he heard footsteps retreating. Hopefully whoever that was left the goods by the door.
The next time they were wrung out, falling against the sheets in a breathless tangle, Fenrys allowed himself just a few minutes before unlooping Lenna’s arm around neck and slid himself out.
“Where are you going?”
He pretended not to hear the mild panic in her voice. Mating bonds could be...brutal.
“I’m getting you food,” he said, unlatching the door to yank open - indeed, a tray heaped with food, now cold, and a bundle of the fine clothes he’d arrived in. Those he stuck under his arm, picking up the tray with barely a glance down the hallway before turning back into the chamber. Kicking the door shut with his foot, grinning at his mate as she hoisted herself up in the bed, hair mussed and cheeks flushed. “Eat up,” Fenrys ordered, setting the tray in the bed in front of her. And ignoring her glower at the command. “I don’t want you fainting on me, Len.”
“I’m not going to faint,” she said, but she picked up a bowl of porridge topped with cold meats, anyway.
While she ate he indulged in a quick wash from a bucket beside a small vanity. Splashing his heated face, his sweaty arms. Though his belly ached for food, something harder was driving at him. A quick glance in the mirror showed that his own hair was little more than a bird’s nest. He smoothed it down with some water, and figured it was good enough.
“Where are you going?” Lenna asked again, a surly note to her voice as he tugged on his clean trousers.
“I have an errand.” Fenrys tied the laces in the front, rather enjoying her put-out expression as she stared at where his cock was.
“An errand? Here?”
“Why not?”
She gave a delicate shrug, picking up a ruby-red apple to toss between her hands. “Does this mean you’re tired of me?”
“No,” he said at once. “Gods, no. I’ll only be gone a little while. And then I’ll be back, ready for more.” Fenrys grinned, which faltered at her weak smile. “Len?” he asked quietly. “Will you be alright?”
She shrugged again. “I suppose I’m not invited to go with you.”
This would be the first time they’d be apart since...since they’d left for the glaciers. Over two months they’d ate and slept together apart for short hunts. The air didn’t sing between them anymore. It shrunk back. Hid.
“Lenna.” In a few strides he was across the chamber, her gaze devouring him the entire distance - and he touched her cheek with his fingers. The soft slopes of her face. Lenna nuzzled her lips into his palm. He knew what she was wanting. What she was afraid of. What she was afraid of asking. “I’ll be back,” Fenrys promised in a whisper. “When you’re done eating you can take a nap if you like. Refresh yourself.”
She said nothing. A jerk of the head was all he got as she turned her face away, apple dangling limply from her fingers.
Gods. Why did every step away from her feel like his body was being torn apart? And not in the delicious way that being with her had remade his every sinew - but in a way that would leave his bones bare to be picked by scavengers.
Fenrys tied the wrists of his white shirt, staring at his mate’s slumped figure.
She’d be fine. She was his wolf heart.
He paused in the door to tell her goodbye, murmuring her name - but she still didn’t look his way.
The further he left her bedchamber behind, the worse he felt.
He wasn’t sure what woke him - the storm still howled and he was cozy warm beneath the furs. The air smelled smoky and when he peeked open his eyes, he saw slits of grayish light through the door. Dawn, then. Or what could be considered dawn in a blizzard. Fenrys hummed, reaching out for Lenna - but she’d turned in his arms to face him.
And she was watching him.
Should it have been strange? Because it wasn’t. Somehow, his mate staring at him while he slept didn’t stir even an iota of upset or indignity. He stretched an arm overhead to rest his head on, laying the flat of his opposite hand on the warm furs where she’d lain earlier. Still warm. So she hadn’t been awake long.
Her black eyes were as sooty as the burned-out fire in the center of the cave. And soft. So soft.
He wouldn’t have thought, that first time he’d met her, that she had tenderness hiding beneath her skin. But now...whatever had changed - he’d changed, the feelings between them had changed - perhaps she’d changed, too. And she was allowing him a glimpse of what she guarded so well with her sharp tongue and snapping teeth.
It was beautiful. That openness, that sweetness...
Fenrys gave a lazy smile. “Keep looking at me like that, Len, and I’ll think you like me.”
Lenna didn’t smile back, but her expression smoldered. She lifted her hand to touch his unshaven jaw, tracing along the bone as she glanced at his mouth, and then back to his eyes. “I do like you,” she said quietly.
His heart swelled. Catching her smaller hand in his, he brought it to his lips to kiss, over and over again, palm and fingers and knuckles. She didn’t pull away.
“Did you sleep well?” he murmured, nuzzling her palm with his nose. “I can put you back to sleep if you’re still tired.”
One of her brows flicked upward. “How? By knocking me over the head?”
He chuckled. “No. By holding you. Or rubbing your back. Or - gods forbid - singing to you.”
“You’d sing to me?”
“If you don’t mind whatever bats are living in the corner of this cave falling dead around us.”
A smile graced her face as prettily as a sunrise, and Fenrys nearly groaned aloud at the sight of it. How was she so perfect - “I haven’t an ear for music,” Lenna confessed. “I wouldn’t even notice if you missed all the notes.”
“You were made for me,” he said, repeating his words from last night as he leaned closer to her, hand slipping beneath the furs to grasp her hips, dragging her closer. Breath mingled, scented with sleep and their mixed scents into something homier than any hearth. She gazed up at him, desperate yearning in her eyes - and he kissed her.
Her fingers tangled in his hair, and he kissed her.
Her lips parted to allow his tongue to slip in, and he kissed her.
She moaned inside of him, her need planting itself in his very lungs - and he kissed her.
Fenrys was half-dizzy, shivering as her hands traced over his bare chest and smoothing down the hair that grew there. Over his muscled shoulders, down his arms to grip into his biceps - and his hold tightened where it cradled her head, holding her waist - he pulled her knee over his hips, swallowing her gasp as he groaned her name into her mouth.
“My Lenna,” he said huskily, and her head dipped back to bare her throat to him - gods, it was a beautiful sight - that unblemished skin with two white marks where he’d bit her in the ice house. “My wolf heart. My mate.” And he sank his teeth into the other side of her throat, holding her tightly as she thrashed in agony, in pleasure - tasting that wild blood that coursed through her.
She tasted of wind and trees and mountains. Of raging rivers and open skies. Stars and snow.
And she was his.
“Mine,” Fenrys growled, and dragged his tongue over the bleeding points as Lenna whimpered.
But her fingers tightened in his hair, jerking his head back as she bared her own teeth at him - he swallowed at the magnificent sight, that pretty ferocity, her untamed beauty.
“Mine,” she said back, and he knew what she wanted - ignoring the painful arousal between his legs, he loosened his grip on her. Enough to lay back, stretching his neck as he watched through hooded eyes as she stared at his neck. As if choosing her placement - Lenna glanced up at him with a half-feral grin, but that only made him want her more.
“Yours,” he said.
Her dark head lowered. He hissed at the gentle sensation of her breath against his sensitive skin, her nose trailing down the bump of his throat - she breathed him in, again and again as she shuddered, holding his head in one hand as she took her time.
“Just do it,” Fenrys rasped, unable to stand the agony of waiting - and he nearly howled when her canines pierced the junction of his shoulder. But the pain was overwhelmed by the rush of warmth. Heat - her heat - running through him as he groaned, every sensation in his body turned to his neck where Lenna’s hot tongue lapped him up.
“Mine,” she said again, but this time in a purr. And she propped herself on an elbow, gazing down at him with a very smug, very wolfish smile with his blood on her teeth and lips.
“How do I taste?” he managed to ask. Tangled his hand in what was left of her braids.
“Like something I’ve denied myself all my life,” Lenna said. “And now I can’t imagine living without.”
Again - Fenrys found his mind utterly emptied of words. How she could turn him into this...soft and boneless and wanting and without even a joke to offer. He just swallowed down the thick emotion in his throat, tucking black hair behind her ears as she licked the blood from her lips.
“I said I would use my mouth on your cock next,” she told him, hand already slipping beneath the fur to find his length, rigid from just the kissing and biting. “Unless you want to go back to sleep.”
He barked out a laugh. Shaking as he was. “I can’t sleep like this, Len.”
She grinned, and his hips arched off the cot as she stroked him. Her voice was a purr as she leaned next to his ear and said, “Good.” And Fenrys knew with a dizzying certainty that he was about to be tortured in the very best of ways.
✵
When the storm quieted they left that cave, the last of the venison snapped up and eaten frozen in their wolf-forms as the world swam grey and white around them - and they ran.
No more two bodies, but so entwined and familiar that his mate felt like an extension of himself, and he of her. Picking the trail, finding water, hunting for meals, dozing out of the wind - all done as easily as breathing. Fenrys wrapped himself around her every chance he got, nuzzling her fur and warming her with his heat. And she hit his face with her tail and a wolfy grin, making him growl, but he’d never felt so alive in his life.
Like this, the mountains streaked as little more than grey and black and white blurs around them. The only marker of their speed as the Wolf Tribes grew nearer, and his steps dragged more.
If he was being honest - or if he could speak at all in this form - he might have admitted he didn’t want to be around anyone else. Not for a while. Not until the prospect of Lenna being seen by other males didn’t fill him with a ferocious, bloodthirsty rage. He twitched in his sleep their last rest before they would arrive - it wasn’t until she held his head down with hers, yapping a warning to him beneath the starlit sky, that he quieted at last. Lulled by her breathing. Her scent. Her presence.
At the entrance of the tribe caves - where he’d entered two months earlier to lay eyes on her the first time - Fenrys saw the sentries and blanched. Hackles rising. Teeth baring. And he snapped at Lenna’s tail as she leapt atop the stone lip. She turned to snarl back at him.
What?
Don’t shift yet. He leapt up beside her, touching her nose with his.
They padded through the caves, warming gradually through each antechamber as they passed the guards. Fenrys kept his growling to a minimum - they weren’t stopped. Lenna was likely recognized. But that meant those sentries knew her; they knew his mate -
Deep breaths, boyo. You can’t keep her away from everyone forever.
But when a young woman pointed to him from a hearth, Lenna was the one that barked out a warning, tail flickering in the air as the woman lost all the color in her face. And Fenrys huffed out a wolfish laugh, nuzzling his mate’s furry ears to keep her moving.
Don’t make a scene, he rubbed into her skin. I can’t help how handsome I am.
But that time her bark was for him. And he laughed some more.
Lord Romul’s hearth was blazingly warm when they arrived, but he wasn’t there - Lenna didn’t delay her shifting any longer, dropping her pack onto the cave ground as she rolled her neck, stretching out her shoulders. The few people around his end of the caves murmured greetings - which stalled as Fenrys shifted beside her and glared them down.
“You certainly know how to clear a room,” Lenna remarked, tugging off her mittens with an amused glance.
“That’s rich judgment from you,” Fenrys said. “You nearly attacked that poor woman earlier!”
She glowered in his direction, but her black eyes held no real malice. “She was interested in you.”
“Of course she was,” he teased, flicking her nose as she showed him her teeth. “I’m insufferably handsome. I wasn’t the least bit interested in her, you know.”
“Insufferably arrogant,” Lenna muttered back, leaning up close to him so that their faces were a scant few inches apart. “If you were interested in anyone else I’d peel away your skin while you live and chop you into pieces.”
Fenrys opened his mouth to respond, but his ears pricked at the sound of footsteps - he turned in time to hear Romul’s faint,
“Temis be praised,” as the old man smiled, and said to his granddaughter. “Welcome home.”
✵
They shared a meal at the hearth. This time, Romul didn’t sit between them - Fenrys held Lenna to his side as if they were fastened together, considering the consequences of hauling her into his lap while they feasted on bread for the first time in weeks. A hot, preserved apple pudding with spices he’d missed. And a wine rich as the night.
“I was worried for the safety of my people if you two returned still at each other’s throats,” Romul said, observing them with a measure of interest. “Now I only have to worry about the safety of anyone who looks too long at either of you.”
A snarl began in Lenna’s throat. But Fenrys laughed off the comment, resting a hand on his mate’s knee to keep her from sniping.
“We’ll control ourselves,” he said smoothly, though it felt like a lie. The mating between them was too fresh for him to think straight quite yet - and if he were being truthful...Lenna’s possessiveness was a wondrous sight to behold. He was ready to spread her out and lick her for the adorable little display she’d put on earlier.
“You knew we were mates?” Lenna asked her grandfather. More curious than anything.
“Oh, yes,” Romul said with a smile. “When one has lived as long as I have, those things become...obvious. I would not have been pleased to allow you to travel the glaciers if I was not confident you would be taken care of by your mate.”
She made a humph sound.
“Lenna is a pleasure to care for,” Fenrys grinned. “Always so willing to let someone else do the dirty work. So sweet-tempered.”
Romul’s brows lifted. And then he chortled. “A fine match this is,” he said, eyeing Lenna’s canines as she glared at Fenrys, clearly displeased by the teasing. “Why don’t you two rest for the remainder of the day - it’s a draining journey from the top of the world.”
“Rest,” Lenna huffed later, as she was stalking through the cave corridors while Fenrys jogged to keep up with her. “Rest. He didn’t mean rest. He probably wants us to get the mating out of our systems so we’re less volatile around everyone else.”
“He has the safety of his people to look out for,” Fenrys said reasonably, and at the passing of a male he gripped Lenna’s forearm and dragged her to the wall, allowing the other male to pass. His face paled as he saw them, and rushed away. Fenrys breathed again.
“Well, with you ready to tear out any and all throats,” she snapped. A little ways further she yanked open the curtain to the steaming hot spring. A few other bathers were in there, but it took only the few moments for their scents to travel through the misty air for the others to jolt, dripping wet, to leave them be.
“It has its perks,” he remarked.
He should feel guilty, perhaps. But he didn’t. Especially when he sank into a simmering hot hollow in the ground, letting the heat ease the soreness of his muscles - and Lenna sat naked behind him, untying his braids to comb the tangles he’d built up during their travel. The quiet of the bathing room, so far from the winter winds in the mountains...it could feel like their own world. If the scents of other humans and Fae didn’t linger. But Fenrys swallowed back the possessiveness in his blood, letting his mate calm him.
“Dip your head back,” she ordered. He did, dragging his fingers through his hair to get it all wet. Lenna slapped his hands away, dripping some sort of fragrant soap all over his head as she replaced his fingers with hers, and he moaned, going lax as she rubbed the soap into his hair.
“You’re an angel,” Fenrys mumbled.
“And you’re the only one who would say that to me,” she said, her voice amused.
“Good. That means that this part of you,” he waved a damp hand over his shoulder, “is just for me.”
Lenna laughed a soft laugh. “You think this is for you?”
“Who else would it be for?”
“Me. I want to make you pretty.”
Stunned, Fenrys had nothing to say. And then he barked with laughter. “Pretty? Did the cold get to your head, Len? I’m handsome, not pretty.”
“You’ll be pretty when I’ve braided your hair again.”
“Are you just doing that so my hair doesn’t get in the way when I’m riding you?”
“Yes.” Beneath the water her foot kicked into his side. “Now stop talking.”
He didn’t bother pretending not to obey. It felt too divine, relaxing in that steam while she cleaned his hair. The heat soaking out the stink of smoky fires and game meat and blood. Letting all that had happened sink away into the past. Leaving just the future to think of. A future with her.
Lenna combed through his hair once it was to her satisfaction, portioning it out before she began to braid back one bit after another. The tugging on his scalp sent goosebumps down his spine, and Fenrys had to hold back more than one hiss as his cock grew beneath the water.
She’d probably pull his hair in bed, if he asked. He’d have to ask.
Once she tied back the last of the braids, deeming him satisfactory, he grasped her wrist and turned in the water, staring up at her as she smiled back. “Your turn,” he said.
She sank into the water to wind her arms around his neck, kissing him in the steam as he swam her to where she could sit. And when he tried to pull away, she tugged him back with a yank on his hair, and he groaned into her mouth.
“I knew it,” Lenna said.
“Knew what?
“You like it.”
Fenrys was watching her mouth; her pink lips curled into a smile as if ready to devour him. “I don’t see the problem,” he said raggedly.
It must have been an hour later that they finally left the bathing room, wrapped in towels with their travelling clothes left behind to be gathered up and washed by Romul’s staff. Lenna tucked herself beneath his arm, and he kissed the top of her sweet-smelling head as she led him - not to the guest room where he’d stayed last time, but further into the mountain.
“Is this it at last?” he crooned in a question. “Have you decided to butcher me at last?”
“How could I butcher a cock as good as yours?” Lenna purred back, and stroked the outside of his towel - Fenrys jerked into her hand, grinding his teeth together as she laughed. “If you want your other room, go right ahead. I simply thought my chamber would be more comfortable.”
“All I need is about seven feet of floor space and you,” he told her.
“I wouldn’t enjoy you taking me on the floor.”
“You can take me while I’m on the floor.”
Her smile was wicked in the flickering torches. “If that’s what you like.”
“Let me guess,” Fenrys said. “You prefer feather beds and silken sheets.”
She paused outside a thick wooden door, hands on his chest as she stood on her tiptoes to brush her mouth against his. He breathed her in - his mate, his mate, his mate - senses clouding as she drew back, and then kissed him again, this time with her tongue slipping in to get reacquainted with his.
Fenrys growled, hoisting her up by the rear as she wrapped her legs around his hips. Awkward with the towels, but they wouldn’t keep those for long - he shouldered through the door to be met with her cool scent clinging to cold furniture in a chamber he could barely care about. But a fire had been started, the sheets were fresh, and he made love to his mate atop them for hours and hours until they fell asleep in a tangled heap as if they were still wolf.
✵
What was in that soap he’d used in her hair? He woke with the rich scent of it in his nose, breathing in deeply as he wove his fingers through her warm tresses - scattered with a few braids that he’d put in himself - but gods, the smell. It was like her own spruce-kissed scent but warmed and accentuated by spices he didn’t recognize. Her cheek was pressed to his chest, and Fenrys lazily trailed his fingertips up her bare back as he kept breathing her in. Savoring her.
The fire had burned to embers during the night - careless of him to let that happen. But though the air in the chamber was brisk, it wasn’t cold. And it was morning: Lenna had the luxury of a carved window high above the bed, likely made by some spell to keep the weather out. The sky was a watery blue. Not a cloud in view.
She stirred in his arms, her mouth warm on his skin. “Are you going to ride me or keep sniffing my hair?” she mumbled, and he chuckled darkly.
“Ready for a ride already, Len? After we went at it so long last night?” Fenrys left a warm kiss on her scalp, tracing circles on her back. “My cock needs a rest sometimes, too.”
She turned her head with a glare just for him - chin on his chest, eyes molten black. Gods, she was so beautiful. “Not likely,” Lenna said, and he twitched as her hand found him beneath the covers. Hard.
He pursed his lips. “I was trying to tease.”
“You failed. Are you going to ride me or not?”
So blunt. Fenrys grinned and hooked a leg around hers, rolling her onto her back as he thrust his erection against her hip, smoothing her dark hair over the pillows. Her bottom lip was caught between her teeth, the heat rising in her eyes. He stared at her mouth for a moment, and then dipped his head to trace her pout with his tongue.
“I’ll need to find some skin to mark you again,” he said. Indeed - their sojourn at the outpost cavern had left her littered in his teethmarks, and he with hers. Some had faded in the weeks since, but not all. Fenrys pulled back to rake his gaze possessively over her throat and breasts. He already looked forward to making more.
“Later,” Lenna said, and reached between their bodies to grasp his rigid length.
He nearly choked, moving his hips back to allow her space - and her smirk grew as she stroked him with the lazy sort of smugness that she hated when he used. But he didn’t mind. She wanted to test him. She needed to push everything between them like the wolf she was. Fenrys knew he could take it. Every bite, every snarl, every snap - every tease and every growl. He moaned, thrusting up into her hand as she tilted her chin up, watching him with glittering eyes.
“Have I convinced you yet?” she asked in a purr. He growled back, clutching her hands to pin onto the bed beside her head. Lenna didn’t bother hiding her grin as he moved his hips to align with hers, dipping his cock into her waiting warmth as he pinned her down, staring, staring, staring - at this moment joining, she glowed as if moonlight lived in her veins.
“More,” she said, her voice breaking at the edges.
Fenrys thrust in deeper, and pulled himself out again.
“More,” Lenna begged.
A growl built in his chest. His hips snapped forward.
“More - ”
He didn’t stop. He couldn’t. He slid her arms above her head, using one hand to secure them as his other moved to her hips, spreading her wider. He groaned aloud, each thrust into her delicious, tight slick building the heat in his bones.
“More - ”
Fenrys braced himself on his knees, dipping his head to kiss her. Fingertips pressed into the flesh of her backside, and each little pant she made when he entered her was swallowed up in his mouth to brand itself into his blood. She strained against him, bracing her hips to take him deeper, deeper - the wooden bed was creaking as if they’d shake it to pieces, but he ignored it. Everything was her: her scent, her lithe strength, her taste, her whimpering growing in volume as he felt his cock squeezed by her body - wiping everything from his mind except Lenna, Lenna, Lenna -
Her climax was nearly a shout, her back arching off the bed as he thrust faster to carry her through it. Extending the plunge of her pleasure as long as he could before he followed - Fenrys dug his teeth into her throat, sucking her scent off of her skin as he felt fingernails rake down his back. Overtop the remaining scars from earlier loving. Each inch of broken skin hissed in the air and he hissed with it, savoring the bite of pain.
“Mark me,” Lenna panted. “Mark me.”
He knew what she meant. When he was on that precipice, he withdrew suddenly, leaving her slack and spread on the bed as he braced himself on his knees. Staring down at her flushed beauty as his head spun. Fenrys grasped his cock in his hand and grunted, pumping himself through the last, dizzying moments before he fell forward on his other hand, unable to even keep upright. Line after line of white seed - his seed - adorned her stomach, her breasts. And then her hand was there, covering his to keep stroking him as he nearly whimpered at the sensitivity.
“You’re mine.” Her eyes were blown wide, black and depthless.
“You’re mine,” Fenrys said back.
Ragged. Broken. Laid bare. And somehow his blood hadn’t stopped rushing, even with the intensity of this climax - he slid back, bedsheets and blankets pushed aside as he laid on his belly before his mate, lifting her knees over his shoulders. Lenna was already squirming, trying to rub herself against him as he slid his fingers through her soaked curls, grinning in admiration at the thick scent of her arousal and the glistening wetness of her. It was still swollen, flushed dark.
“You’re mine,” he purred again, and dipped his head to lick around her entrance. Then swallowed her slick, groaning at the taste that they’d made together.
“More,” Lenna breathed.
Above him, her eyes were screwed shut, sweat beading on her forehead despite the chill in the chamber. Fenrys smiled, rubbing his cheek to the inside of her thigh. But taking his time earned him a snarl, a yank on his braids from his mate - he laughed aloud to disguise the heat that ran through him.
“You’re very lucky you didn’t find a human mate,” he told her fondly. “No one but a Fae could keep up with you.”
“Is that so?” She propped herself on her elbows, lips curled to bare her teeth as she glared down at him. “Because I don’t see you keeping up with me.”
“I’m taking my time,” Fenrys said. And kept his eyes fastened on hers as he leaned forward again to lick her again - this time much, much slower, scraping the flat of his tongue against her sex as Lenna’s eyes unfocused slightly, and she blinked hurriedly, tipping her head back. “Aren’t I allowed to take my time, Len?”
“No,” she grumbled, falling back onto the bed.
He laughed again, the sound rough, and decided to have mercy on his mate. This time.
It wasn’t until a knock rapped on the door, sunlight streaming through the window above to herald midday while Lenna rode him to wring climax after climax from them - that Fenrys was pulled from his hazy pleasure to realize that the world still existed. Somewhere, at least.
“I’ve brought Lord Fenrys’s clothes,” a muffled voice said - but Lenna didn’t stop. And that just made him more aroused, more hard - “And Lord Romul sent a meal.”
“Do you - want to - eat?” Fenrys managed to ask his mate, but she just shook her head, dragging his hands to her breasts to worship while her body worshipped his cock. He grinned, thrusting his hips higher to hear her surprised gasp turn into a long, howling mewl of pleasure.
Distantly he heard footsteps retreating. Hopefully whoever that was left the goods by the door.
The next time they were wrung out, falling against the sheets in a breathless tangle, Fenrys allowed himself just a few minutes before unlooping Lenna’s arm around neck and slid himself out.
“Where are you going?”
He pretended not to hear the mild panic in her voice. Mating bonds could be...brutal.
“I’m getting you food,” he said, unlatching the door to yank open - indeed, a tray heaped with food, now cold, and a bundle of the fine clothes he’d arrived in. Those he stuck under his arm, picking up the tray with barely a glance down the hallway before turning back into the chamber. Kicking the door shut with his foot, grinning at his mate as she hoisted herself up in the bed, hair mussed and cheeks flushed. “Eat up,” Fenrys ordered, setting the tray in the bed in front of her. And ignoring her glower at the command. “I don’t want you fainting on me, Len.”
“I’m not going to faint,” she said, but she picked up a bowl of porridge topped with cold meats, anyway.
While she ate he indulged in a quick wash from a bucket beside a small vanity. Splashing his heated face, his sweaty arms. Though his belly ached for food, something harder was driving at him. A quick glance in the mirror showed that his own hair was little more than a bird’s nest. He smoothed it down with some water, and figured it was good enough.
“Where are you going?” Lenna asked again, a surly note to her voice as he tugged on his clean trousers.
“I have an errand.” Fenrys tied the laces in the front, rather enjoying her put-out expression as she stared at where his cock was.
“An errand? Here?”
“Why not?”
She gave a delicate shrug, picking up a ruby-red apple to toss between her hands. “Does this mean you’re tired of me?”
“No,” he said at once. “Gods, no. I’ll only be gone a little while. And then I’ll be back, ready for more.” Fenrys grinned, which faltered at her weak smile. “Len?” he asked quietly. “Will you be alright?”
She shrugged again. “I suppose I’m not invited to go with you.”
This would be the first time they’d be apart since...since they’d left for the glaciers. Over two months they’d ate and slept together apart for short hunts. The air didn’t sing between them anymore. It shrunk back. Hid.
“Lenna.” In a few strides he was across the chamber, her gaze devouring him the entire distance - and he touched her cheek with his fingers. The soft slopes of her face. Lenna nuzzled her lips into his palm. He knew what she was wanting. What she was afraid of. What she was afraid of asking. “I’ll be back,” Fenrys promised in a whisper. “When you’re done eating you can take a nap if you like. Refresh yourself.”
She said nothing. A jerk of the head was all he got as she turned her face away, apple dangling limply from her fingers.
Gods. Why did every step away from her feel like his body was being torn apart? And not in the delicious way that being with her had remade his every sinew - but in a way that would leave his bones bare to be picked by scavengers.
Fenrys tied the wrists of his white shirt, staring at his mate’s slumped figure.
She’d be fine. She was his wolf heart.
He paused in the door to tell her goodbye, murmuring her name - but she still didn’t look his way.
The further he left her bedchamber behind, the worse he felt.
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literally just another giant post of Bakugou faces.
so I did this last year, but I only got up to chapter 120 before I ran out of steam. happily, though, this left me with an additional 190 chapters’ worth of glorious gremlin faces to choose from for this year’s edition! which I figure I had better do, before tumblr finally pulls the plug on my poor sweet image limit.
so without further ado, happy birthday to Kacchan, and happy birthday to Kacchan’s asymmetrical HAH face where his eyes do the thing like ( ◣益◢).
why I like it: so this is from Kirishima’s flashback in chapter 133, where Kirishima was getting all down on himself because his quirk Only Does One Thing, and Kacchan was all “nah bro don’t worry about it because your One Thing is totally fucking rad, and you’re strong enough to withstand anything.” so that of course was incredibly sweet, and one of the few times we’ve seen him give an actual heartfelt pep talk without so much as a single insult thrown into the mix. but what really puts this scene over the top for me is the fact that you can see the ever-so-subtle hints of guilt and regret when he talks about All Might and Kamino. for just a moment, he gets this distant look in his eyes, and his expression turns soft and contemplative. basically this is a rare collector’s edition Kacchan face you will not find in many other places.
why I like it: because this frankly needs to happen in every damn fight until this kid finally gets it through his thick skull to ditch the mask so we can see every fantastic facial expression in full 4k glory. work with me here please Kacchan.
why I like it: because character growth!! this was our first big moment of post-DvK2 Kacchan development, and the payoff was well worth the wait. it only took him 166 chapters to realize that it’s hard to grow as a person if you’re determined to be a humongous dick to every single person you meet!! lmao, but it’s progress though.
why I like it: these two panels are criminally underrated. the way his face transforms when Deku gets the answer wrong dlkjfldk. this is easily one of the funniest subtle gags in the entire series.
why I like it: “hey Bakugou do you want to play in our band?” “fuck you, no.” “pretty please.” “fine, but I refuse to call it a band.” “well then what do you want to call it -- ” “MURDER.”
why I like it: GONNA MURDER EVERYONE BY PLAYING THE DRUMS!!!! SOMEHOW WE’VE SUCCESSFULLY COMPARTMENTALIZED THIS SCHOOL-SANCTIONED DISPLAY OF PERFORMING ARTS AS A DEATH MATCH. OH TO UNDERSTAND THE INNER WORKINGS OF THIS YOUNG MAN’S MIND.
why I like it: hah?! I love how he has to tilt his neck all the way back every single time he does this. he’s so cute I love him so much.
why I like it: somewhere around this point in the manga Kacchan decided to do away with being handsome and decided to just be a full-time gremlin in every single panel. this persisted for the next 90 chapters or so and he was very dedicated. I’m pretty sure he was going for vulgar and intimidating, but unfortunately for him he’s too inherently adorable and so the end result is just endearing and almost charming in its own way.
why I like it: this was from chapter 194 when Aizawa was announcing that they’d have a special guest for the Joint Training arc, and so Kacchan was all “BOY OH BOY A NEW ASS TO KICK.”
why I like it: more character development! and just look at that confidence! he’s fully recovered from his low point after Kamino and the provisional exam. he knows what he’s about now, and he is THRIVING. and once again you can see how his conviction inspires the people around him and makes them more determined. just, he is going to be such a good number one hero you guys.
why I like it: it’s the three little “!!!” lines hovering in the corner next to his head for me. “oh my god it’s All Might, All Might saw me being cool and Saving To Win and stuff, what’s he gonna say what do I do omg quick act natural.”
why I like it: QUICK HIDE YOUR FEELINGS!! WE CAN’T LET THE NEIGHBORS KNOW WE CARE. fjkdlsjklk
why I like it: this is his expression when he first sees Deku activate Blackwhip for the first time. it’s one of the few unguarded expressions of complete surprise that we’ve gotten from him and I love it thank you.
why I like it: classic asymmetrical HAH face. he truly has perfected this look. look at him, casually clinging to a pole for no reason other than to look dynamic. this boy truly cannot sit or stand or walk or do anything normally. he spent three months working his ass off to catch up to Deku and the others, and now that he finally has he’s filled with so much pent-up energy that he simply cannot hold it back anymore and he’s gotta climb a pole. he’s just gotta.
why I like it: because he is so fucking good at saving people now you guys, he’s like a whole-ass professional and shit, and yet it hasn’t changed who he is one single iota. he will save your life and he will SCREAM AT YOU WHILE DOING IT and you’ll sit there and be grateful goddammit.
why I like it: o noo he was caught unawares. All Might was all “I’m gonna have a dad moment and nobody can stop me” and he walked right up to him and put his hand on his head because he’s All Might and so what is he even gonna do about it. nothing, that’s what. you got played, Kacchan. outmaneuvered and outfoxed. all he can do is stand there and make that grumpy face he makes when he’s receiving unwanted affection (҂⌣̀_⌣́).
why I like it: more unwanted affection. now they’re even feeding him ffs. how could he let this happen. mm chicken.
why I like it: GREATEST ASYMETRICAL HAH?! FACE OF ALL TIME. out of all the people to befriend him against his will, Todoroki is by far the most confusing to him and it’s just so great.
why I like it: this is when Hawks is staring at him in chapter 244 because he fake-killed his mentor and stuff and he feels sorta guilty about it. but meanwhile Kacchan just thinks he’s trying to start some shit, and so he’s all “I WAS FASTER THAN YOU BACK THERE YOU KNOW” and Hawks is all “hahaha okay little buddy you just keep telling yourself that”, because as previously discussed Kacchan is too adorable to ever be intimidating.
why I like it: this is from 246 when he’s in the middle of arguing with Burnin’ and all of a sudden Endeavor calls to him and he’s just like o shit what’d I do.
why I like it: because Endeavor’s mentoring them and shit and he’s just casually sitting there eating his lunch like yeah. with his lil hamster cheeks lulz.
why I like it: the look that instantly became iconic. this panel cured me of the misconception that Bakugou “goes to bed at 8:30pm” Katsuki was a morning person. the truth is he loathes all times of the day equally.
why I like it: this one is a team effort because Deku’s faces are equally as good. I’m genuinely shocked that this family dinner with the Todorokis didn’t prematurely unlock Danger Sense. you can tell that he and Deku have a silent agreement to call a temporary truce on their rivalry for as long as they sit at this table as outsiders in this strange land. this is by far the most hazardous meal Bakugou has ever experienced, and yet the mapo tofu is too good to go to waste, so he’s just shoveling it down his throat trying to finish as much as possible before shit inevitably hits the fan.
why I like it: Kacchan is New Here so he doesn’t yet realize that if the Todorokis are spilling family secrets, there is always inevitably going to be someone listening in the shadows just outside the door.
why I like it: the battle with Ending was probably peak gremlin!Kacchan. like, we’ve had gremlin before and afterwards, but never quite to this same degree. Horikoshi really decided to push the limits of contorting this child’s face in the strangest ways.
why I like it: peak. gremlin.
why I like it: nothing to see here, just Kacchan quietly realizing after 252 chapters that he MIGHT have been just a BIT of a cartoonishly villainous asshole to Deku back at the beginning there ha ha ha oh god oh fuck.
why I like it: because he found the answer to What It Is That He Lacks, and he’s all cool and calm and infuriatingly secretive about it. it’s such a sudden and stark contrast to the gremlin faces he was making only moments earlier, and it makes this moment hit home that much more.
why I like it: because this is him being friends with Deku!! like for real though!! because he’s fucking around and insulting him and making weird faces and stuff, but it’s because in his mind That’s What Friends Do. they clown on each other and help each other train and shit. half an hour after this they’ll go down to the training gym and play Catch-A-Kacchan, and then he’ll quietly confess to All Might that he wants to atone. he may be a gremlin, but he’s a gremlin with layers goddammit.
why I like it: because this is right after TomurAFO shows up out of nowhere and scares the shit out of him and Deku and makes them see a terrifying death vision and stuff, and you can see how shaken up he is by it. he definitely understands how close they came to dying just then and he’s sobered the fuck up. this is the moment when it really sinks in that shit has gotten real. eight minutes from now he’ll move without thinking and save Deku’s life.
why I like it: hydro homies. nothing restores those electrolytes like good old Raquaius Sports Drink.
why I like it: because this panel was when it started to become clear that the real reason he grabbed this sports drink was to pretend like he was busy so he could act like he wasn’t interested in Deku’s training because god forbid the neighbors know that he actually cares.
why I like it: because the sideways glance!! and the fact that he doesn’t deny it!! in fact he does the opposite of denying it, and he basically starts pouring his heart out about how goddamn worried he actually is. he’s guilty and anxious and restless and this entire conversation is amazing.
why I like it: he looks so goddamn young here. when he finally stops scrunching up his face and putting on his usual tough guy act and for once allows his actual emotions to show on his face instead, the result is so damn striking. for once we got an entire conversation with no gremlin faces, because Horikoshi had to drop them completely in order to show just how serious he is here. which was incredibly effective btw.
why I like it: because he’s basically just fidgeting with the bottle now to avoid making eye contact with All Might because he just revealed a deep dark secret to him and he’s precariously vulnerable right now. that’s the body language of a kid who knows how badly he fucked up, and just wants to hear from someone else if it’s going to be okay, if he can still make it okay. he looks so small here.
why I like it: the worry lines under his eyes. the look of uncertainty and wanting to believe that what All Might says is true (“you’ll get a chance to talk eventually”). the hesitance to turn back and look at him, and the way he doesn’t dare until he finally gets that small bit of reassurance. All Might isn’t judging him. All Might understands him and understands where he’s coming from, and he’s giving him his blessing. he’s giving him a thumbs up and reassuring him that he sees the change in him and sees that he’s sincerely trying, and basically saying that he has faith that he and Deku will be able to work it out. and you can see that it means a lot.
why I like it: because this kid spent his entire internship with Jeanist doing nothing but bitching nonstop, and then later on when Jeanist went missing he was all tight-lipped about it because once again NOBODY CAN KNOW THAT WE CARE GODDAMMIT, and it was all very Classic Bakugou. but then Jeanist finally shows up again at Jakku, and we get this little moment of happy, smirky FUCK YEAH, I KNEW YOU WEREN’T DEAD YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, and it’s just the best.
why I like it: HE’S SO UNABASHEDLY PROUD GOD BLESS HIM.
why I like it: because he nearly died and then he woke up here in the hospital two days later not knowing where anybody else is or whether they’re even still alive, and this, my friends. this is finally the moment. the moment where he was all FUCK IT, MAYBE WE CAN LET THE NEIGHBORS KNOW WE CARE AFTER ALL. character fucking development. you love to see it.
BONUS:
WHAT HAVE I BECOME, MY SWEETEST FRIEND. EVERYONE I KNOW GOES AWAY IN THE END.
happy birthday Katsuki. feel better sweetie. HORIKOSHI YOU BETTER TREAT HIM RIGHT I AM COUNTING ON YOU.
#bakugou katsuki#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha meta#bakugou meta#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#makeste reads bnha
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Unexpected Present
Alfred fucking Solomons. A man who can figure out how to double-cross people and triple his wealth with stocks and bonds and business deals can’t figure out how to make a fucking cup of tea.
He left you raging when he informed you of the business trip and that your presence was not only requested but rather expected. Now, blood boiling you mix the perfect amount of milk with the perfect amount of sugar into his tea like a chemical equation. Bringing it out to him served up on a silver platter and an eye roll as garnish.
“Thank you, love.”
“Anything else I can get for you, Mr. Solomons,” you say through grit teeth. Holding up appearances for those around, the dutiful, too pretty secretary of the business mogul from England. Unable to discern what’s worse; the way the American businessman with gelled hair is eyeing you up in the middle of the elaborate conference room or having to act like nothing is bothering you.
“I think that’s all for now Ms. Y/L/N. We won’t be much longer, make sure the lodging is in place, hm?”
With a curt nod, you’re more than ready to leave the room, muttering under your breath in the hallway. “Do this, do that, do this. I’m a grown man and I need you to do everything for me. Sorry,” you’d blush if you cared one iota that the other businessman’s personal secretary had overheard your grumbling. She understands as evident by her smile. “Sometimes I wonder if how he even manages to piss without someone’s help.”
All it took was a deadly combination of laughter and mutual dislike towards your bosses to pull you and Sofia, as you learned, from the dull waiting room of the office to the more than convenient speakeasy hidden in the parking garage. It only takes one whiskey sour for Sofia to be buzzed, spewing her deepest, darkest thoughts about her coworkers and the like. Blame prohibition for her lightweight. An odd sensation drinking the amber liquid, a sickly sweet, hearty concoction, in the protection of darkness, illegally, it’s a welcome change. A sense of familiarity. A sense of home.
“I’ve worked for Alfie for three years now, three years. I thought we were friends. Hell, I’ve taken off sick days and he’s delivered me soup, or at the very least have someone check in on me.”
“That….” Sofia hiccups, stumbling lighting on the barstool, the stickiness of the countertop keeping her from tipping completely. “That’s more than Robert has ever done for me. It’s been almost two years and he doesn’t even know my name.”
“And the bastard has the nerve to force me here two days before Christmas Eve as if I don’t have a life outside serving him. He knows I’ve left my mother and father alone in our country home. Heaven forbid it snows and they can’t get out-” Shaking your head, you decide to change the subject. No point in rudementing on it. Alfie fucking Solomon’s forced you to America for Christmas all because of fucking tea.
Seething now from the alcohol, it’s a miracle you manage to get Sofia back to the top floor just in time to help her stand up straight as Mr. Douche and Mr. Bastard leave their business meeting. Smoothing your skirt, another fake smile plastered onto your lips, popping a mint into your mouth quickly before they’re standing in front of you, going separate ways.
“You’re agitated Ms. Y/L/N,” Alfie begins once the two of you are alone, walking onto the bustling New York street. It’s a few blocks to the car before you realize there’s a blanket of white snow on the ground.
“What gave it away Alfie.”
“The whiskey on your breathe for one. Thought I wouldn’t notice, did yay? Couldn’t handle yourself, aye?”
“Fuck off, the least I deserve for leaving everything to come on this stupid trip of yours is a cold drink.”
“You know I’m not against drinking, I for one believe in the positive effects of alcohol. My mother, yeah, she swears she every type of alcohol healed a different affliction, rum for your impure thoughts and pain, whiskey to heal loneliness, hm?”
“I’m lonely because of you. I could be with my parents back home making biscuits.”
“Oi, lighten up Y/N. I don’t have you pegged as the cooking biscuits type.”
“Apparently there’s a lot you don’t know about me after 3 years.”
Tension heavy, cold as snow in the car between you two. Alfie sets the engine to life, roaring and purring.
“Right,” his voice devoid of any teasing lightheartedness that existed before which you chose to ignore, “where are we off to?”
“The Ritz.”
“Really? So elaborate, not really my style…” Rolling your eyes at him for the second time that day, you know he wouldn’t want to stay anywhere else. The accommodations were made weeks ago; a room or two in the most well-known hotel in the heart of New York City, a day before Christmas, was in high demand.
The lights lit because of Christmas or regardless of, sparkle and blur as the car speeds by. The snow glistens as well, and if this was home, you might find a way to enjoy it… enjoy it with the company beside you.
Your anger begins to dissipate ever so slightly as Alfie pulls the car up to the valet, passing him an extra twenty to retrieve the bags. After a quick scan of the wreaths and garlands draping the opulent skyscraper, Aflie limps to your side and together enter the lobby.
“Sciatica acting up?”
“Must be the damn snow.”
“Or karma.” Right, still angry at him. “Wait here, I’ll get the room keys,” you falter slightly.
“Oi, that took longer than expected. Time for a nightcap,” he groans, his cane assisting him up.
“Uh.. so there was a bit of miscommunication. Remember when you told me to check our reservation today… due to the unexpected snow storm, they’ve booked all of their rooms so…” you flash a single golden key.
“No. No no. Let me-”
“Alfie, there’s nothing you can do about it. No amount of yelling or money is going to make a room magically appear.”
“It’s called being persuasive.”
“Demanding’s more like it.”
You find yourself sighing through grit teeth, jaw clenched, and hair standing on end in writhing anger.
Alfie’s settled in, his luggage, coat, and hat draped across the single king-sized bed. At least it’s a suite, but then again what suite in the Ritz doesn’t have a sofa? He limps slowly over to the liquor cabinet for a nightcap as you take a seat on the chair and make your anger known as you pop off your shoes.
“I don’t know why you’re upset, the situation is your fault.”
“I don’t know why you had to fucking remind me.”
“You know, you’ve had a nasty attitude ever since we landed.”
“Wow, take a fucking guess why Alfie? Maybe it’s because I’ve had to surrender my holiday with my family to be here, locked up in a small room with my overbearing, demanding boss.”
“I thought you celebrated Hanukkah.” Champagne, your favored nightcap, sprays in the air, suggesting your shock.
“Come again?” He shrugs nonchalantly as if the thought of you celebrating anything else is unfathomable. “You don’t really know anything about me, Alfie.”
Sulking into the bathroom, you take time to undress in what little privacy you’ll experience tonight and are wrapped up in the steamy water and hot trace of tears down your cheeks. Anger channeled into aggravation into anguish and dismay.
Finally emerging in pajamas, Alfie has made himself comfortable and you feel your way through the dark, stubbing your toe on the coffee table and cursing in the dark.
“And where am I supposed to sleep? The floor?”
“Of course not. You can sleep in the bed.”
“And where are you going to sleep?”
“In the bed. Really, Y/N, I’ve hired you for your intelligence, not your lack thereof. I’m not sleeping on the damn floor with my leg and I wouldn’t expect you to either.”
“Maybe I want to sleep on the floor.”
“Go ahead, be my guest. No one’s stopping you…”
Growling, you slip in next to him, warning him to stay on his side of the bed and to keep his hands to himself, warning, “You know what I’m capable of with a knife.”
Waking up Christmas morning, it feels like an overly humid summer day in July. A moment for your eyes to adjust to the darkness of the surroundings, attempting to pry yourself from the mattress, sticky with sweat, it’s only then you realize where you are. And who you are with.
Alred fucking Solomons. Wrapped around you like a snake twirled around a branch as if it’s life depends on it, is asleep on your chest, the tickle of his beard against your arm. He snorts, moves momentarily in his sleep. Can’t help but stare a little longer, who knew a gangster bogged down to his shoulders in stress and danger, could look so peaceful when asleep. He almost looks attractive in this light, mostly because his mouth is shut save for the rhythmic light snoring. Then he snorts loudly again.
“Alfie. Alfie. Alfred!” He wakes with a jolt, shoved harder than expected. Harsh Russian words fill the air as he straightens.
“Miss. Y/N/L what’re you doing in my bed.”
“There’s one bed Alfie. It was your idea.” Lip curling as the thought you jump out of bed, a blush on your cheeks instinctively. “Not the present I was expecting on Christmas either Mr. Solomons. Now get up and get dressed, you’ve a last meeting at noon. Then I get to go home for the holidays.”
“As if you can’t wait to get that far away from me. Maybe you’ll be cold tomorrow night, I’m a furnace.”
I got carried away in the beginning and with an actual plot rather than the actual sharing a bed part... leave comments!!
#peaky blinder imagine#peaky blinders fanfiction#peaky blinders imagines#peaky blinders fanfic#alfie solomons fanfic#alfie solomons imagine#alfie solomons fanfiction
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everyone talks about donna ‘the diluc simp’ but how come no one talks about baishi ‘ningguang’s secretary and fan club president’ when she is on a whole other level of simp.
Baishi's Dialogue
"Oh my..."
"Lady Ningguang looks stunning today..." (Baishi’s idle voiceline)
.
Baishi: That gorgeous phoenix sash, woven from gold thread... Then, that figure-hugging silk dress... And last but not least, the lace lingerie... Oh my...
Traveler: ...Are you alright?
Baishi: Aah! Wh—Where did you come from!? ...Hmph, it's very rude to sneak up on people like that!
Baishi: Can't you see that I'm busy picturing... Um, pi—picking out clothes for Lady Ningguang?
Traveler: You were drooling.
Baishi: I... I have no idea what you're talking about! I am simply devoted to Lady Ningguang's... image. That's all!
Baishi: Someone like her, who has all the cares of the world on her shoulders, should never have to waste an iota of her great mind on something as mundane as picking her own clothes.
Baishi: In any case, as her secretary, it's my paramount duty to concern myself with her outward appearance!
Baishi: ...It's just that, whenever I start thinking of Lady Ningguang's elegant form as she stands before the masses, or her silhouette as she changes her clothes... or her perfect body, glistening like polished jade as she emerges from her bath...
Baishi: I just... I just... Oh my.
Traveler: I practically worship Lady Ningguang.
Baishi: You worship her? In what way? Intellectually? Spiritually? Or...
Baishi: Hmph! Well, whichever it is, keep it to yourself, and don't get any ideas above your station!
Baishi: Lady Ningguang is a very busy person. She has no time for your fanaticism.
Baishi: Let me teach you a thing or two about "diligence," and then you ought to go and reflect on your actions!
Traveler: ...Carry on as you were...
Baishi: Hehe... Where was I... Ah yes, let's not forget the perfume...
#I relate to her#like really#baishi kin#genshin impact#ningguang#genshin ningguang#liyue#jade chamber#baishi#genshin women
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So, overall, I am loving Forbidden West. It’s been a really excellent second chapter to the whole story. That said, I do have a few minor complaints. Nothing that is ruining the experience for me and mostly stuff I hope will be addressed in upcoming updates. But still, a few small issues. And, just to be perfectly clear, these are only my opinions and experiences. You may well disagree. That is fine. I’m not trying to rain on your parade.
- Free climbing. While it’s an addition I was looking forward to, the execution isn’t exactly perfect. I’m finding there are a lot of times where Aloy just gets stuck, despite having obvious handholds within reach, or at the top of a climb. She just... won’t go. Also, because there’s really no differentiating between climbable things and non-climbable things, I find I’m using the focus to find climbing surfaces so much, they might just as well be marked.
-Glitches. I don’t know about anyone else, but I’ve been seeing a decent number of glitches. NPCs caught in mid-air, twitching dead bodies, hand holds that make Aloy’s hands freak out, and most recently in and around Cauldron Iota, there were several machines who’s bodies glitched out completely. I had a couple of Grimhorns armour running at me without any Grimhorn inside them. Same with the Rollerback inside.
-Loot boxes. I can’t explain what it is that I’m not crazy about, but they seem so... out of place? I don’t know. It felt like they were a little bit more organically placed last game. Maybe it’s just me.
-Rocks. Okay, I KNOW this is super petty. But, sweet lord, there are SO MANY FUCKING ROCKS. I don’t need them all marked. Who is using that many rocks? My screen is so cluttered with markers.
-Plants. Again, I know I’m being petty. It does feel like there’s way less variety in plants this game. Especially medicinal plants. I liked being able to spot different plant species in different areas and learning where they grow best. The lack of the old plants seems very weird and the abundance of food plants is, like the rocks, a bit overwhelming. And they’re all the same thing. If it was a whole lot of variety, maybe it wouldn’t be wearing on me as much.
-Watchers. I cannot be the only person missing the watchers. And don’t talk to me about redeye watchers. They are not the same and we both know that.
-Alert times. Another “maybe it’s just me” but it feels like when a machine notices you, it stays on alert for an excessively long time. If you want to tank your way through, that’s fine. But playing stealth, it gets real old having to wait it out. Actually, there are a number of times I found myself thinking that they went out of their way to make playing a stealth style difficult if not impossible and I don’t like being forced into a play style for arbitrary reasons.
-Recovery time. Sweet lord Aloy takes FOREVER to get up in this one. Honestly, there have been more than a few times it seems like she’s moving excessively slowly. But the recovery from being knocked down is painful.
-Characters. Okay, this one comes with a huge disclaimer. THIS IS ENTIRELY MY OPINION. YOU ARE WELCOME TO DISAGREE. I feel like everyone is kind of grumpy and it’s weird. Especially Aloy. And I get that she is just fucking exhausted. I don’t blame her. But like... I miss the lighter moments and the humour. It seems to be a little muted this time. Don’t get me wrong, I love my girl with all my heart. She just seems... off? Also, everyone is being so mean to Erend??? Leave my son alone??? HE’S DOING HIS BEST OKAY???
-Seeker face paint. I’m gonna end on the pettiest one of all. They changed the colour of the Nora Seeker face paint and it’s annoying me so much. Does it really matter? No. Does it make my eye twitch a little? Yes.
All right, that’s it. Like I said, you’re welcome to disagree. Please keep any comments civil. I’m not interested in fighting or drama. I’m just talking about my own feelings. I love the game a lot and I just want it to be the best game possible.
#hfw#horizon forbidden west#spoilers#maybe#I dunno#just to be safe#The views and opinions expressed in this program are those of the speakers and do not necessarily reflect the views of this station
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We Exist In Parallel (But We’re Not The Same)
Working title: Dream face reveal NOT pog
Dream is everything Tommy refuses to become.
He’s seen so much more of him, so much more of what he’s made himself than any other member of the SMP.
He knows Dream’s quirks, knows his ticks and unconscious gestures and nervous habits he never managed to break, and it hurts because Tommy has so many of the same.
He’s not sure why, to be honest.
He suspects it might be a kind of influence, all the time he’s spent around the bastard creating a distorted reflection of that famous smiling mask.
Or maybe it’s just coincidence, just two people similar in only the most ironic ways, echoed in all the least comfortable places.
Dream hates it too, he knows. When Tommy reaches a hand up to scratch his chin the same way he might if most of his face were covered, when he takes up a battle stance built for agility rather than the bashing Techno’d taught him…
He knows Dream, yeah? He knows what a flinch looks like from him.
Especially when they flinch the same way.
But they aren’t the same, no. Couldn’t be less similar, in a lot of ways.
Tommy stakes everything he has on his ability to care, Dream throws it all away for just one iota more control. Dream gives someone a gift and expects them to pay it back, Tommy gives someone a gift and expects them to dismiss it.
Tommy sacrifices everything he has for his friends, Dream sacrifices his friends to keep his power.
Fucking funhouse mirrors, they are.
So Tommy knows him and Dream are a lot alike, yeah? He’s uncomfortably fucking aware.
That doesn’t mean he’d ever have predicted this, though.
Because who would, right? Who could?
Tommy points his axe at Dream and tells him to put his stuff in the hole and it’s a triumphant moment because finally, finally, he’s got an assured win.
He’s got his friends at his back, Tubbo safe and sound, the discs away from Dream, and there’s nothing left to hit him with, nothing left that could destroy this perfect victory over the one who’s tormented them all so long.
Dream leaves some of his stuff on, so Tommy tells him no, all of it, and Dream complies and something about the action feels off and Tommy doesn’t figure out what it is until Dream’s taken everything off and has his hand in the claps of his mask, saying,
“Are you sure?” With that horrible false sympathy he specializes in, and Tommy says
“Yes, I’m fucking sure, or I wouldn’t have said it! Unless you’re that fucking ugly, why’s it even matter?” And oh, how he eats those words.
Because Dream just laughs, undoes the clasp, pulls his mask away from his face as gently as you tell your child Santa is only a story, and his face-
He’s got Tommy’s face.
He-
They could be twins, if not for the scars on Tommy Dream put there himself.
“Wh- The fuck? You ‘sposed to be my long lost brother or some shit?” And he says it sarcastically, but he’s only half joking.
Dream laughs again, like it’s all some fucking joke only he’s privy to.
“Oh, Tommy, that would be fun, wouldn’t it? I think Phil might have mentioned it, though,” And Dream tilts his head to the side, and it’s such a damn cold expression, not an ounce of fucks given, like he doesn’t even care and the worst part of it, Tommy thinks, is that he knows Dream does care, in his own fucked up way, and he does all this shit anyway.
“No, I’m not your brother.” And what the fuck does that mean, anyway? Vague ass answer, just so the fucker can drag the conversation out a little longer, just another fucking power play and Tommy is so tired of it all.
So he doesn’t play Dream’s game.
“Look, asshole, I don’t give a shit if you’re my evil twin or whatever. It doesn’t change shit, yeah? You still suck and the server would still be better off without you in it, so spill or don’t but do it fast because I’ve had it up to here with your shit.”
And Dream looks surprised, for a moment, the calculated shock looking utterly foreign on Tommy’s face, before he wipes it away and smiles in a way that looks perfectly at home on his face because that’s Tommy’s smile, and he says,
“I thought it would be obvious, Tommy. I named all my armor and weapons Nightmare, of all things,” and Tommy doesn’t know where Dream is going with this but he hates it already and Dream continues “I figured calling everything Clementine would be too much of a giveaway, but maybe I should have just gone for it, if you’re going to be this oblivious,” And the pieces are fitting together in Tommy’s head but the picture they create makes no goddamn sense, the hell-?
“What are implying here, Dream?” It’s Tubbo who says it, voice still ringing with the blankness it’d held when he’d told Tommy this is checkmate, I suggest you resign-
“Well, the future is a dark place, you know? Just ask Karl. Shit sucks, so I left,” and he’s saying words and they aren’t really registering because he’s changed his accent just a bit, pitched his voice two centimeters to the left and altered his vocabulary and when he says that sentence Tommy nearly feels for his own throat to make sure he hadn’t said the words himself.
And just-
What. The fuck.
“Fuck this.” Tommy says in one of the deadest tones he’s ever mustered, and he raises the Axe of Peace over his head because this doesn’t change anything, not really.
“Aw, Tommy, you wouldn’t kill yourself, would you?” And here’s where Tommy sees the situation for truth, sees the utter fucking lack of comprehension in Dream’s (his) eyes, and he just,
Tommy just laughs.
“Wouldn’t I, Dream?” And Dream flinches.
“Because I’m pretty fucking certain that I tried, several times,” and there’s a soft gasp behind him he can’t identify but it doesn’t matter because he is at his wits end.
“I’m pretty fucking sure I stood at the edge of a lava pit and tried to jump, and you pulled me back and said it wasn’t my time yet, and that makes so much more sense now because you really can’t grasp your own goddamn mortality, can you?”
He lowers the axe, but his grip doesn’t loosen.
“I also remember the time after you blew up Logstedshire, left everything me and Ghostbur’d built as a fucking burning ruin, I remember kinda fucking clearly when I towered up until I could see past what you’d done to me and only landed in water by chance,” And his hand on the axe hurts but he needs the grounding it provides because these memories aren’t painless.
“And that’s not- That’s not even mentioning all the times I woke up breathing seawater and I’m still not sure whether you fucked with my bed somehow or whether I just wanted it all to end that goddamn much, but you say I wouldn’t kill myself?” He feels like he can’t get enough air, the recollection of the sea in his lungs hitting almost as hard as Dream had, all those times.
“Don’t fucking pretend you’re me. I don’t know if you’re telling the truth, to be honest I don’t really care, but either way you’re not me and you never will be,”
Dream takes a step back, hitting the blackstone wall he built himself, and there’s something poetic in that, but Wilbur is dead to Dream’s machinations and Tommy doesn’t have any fucks left to give.
“Because you know the difference between us, Dream?”
Dream looks at him, two inches taller than Tommy, five years older, and not an ounce of wisdom to show for it. Dream is taller but he’s not the one looming here, not the one who holds the scene in his hands and shapes it how he sees fit, and Tommy knows now the real reason Dream always wears a mask, because he’s doing nothing to hide the fear in his face.
“What’s the difference?” He asks, and Tommy knows in an instant that Dream really, genuinely has no clue where he went so wrong.
“I care.” Tommy says, and swings the axe.
#dream smp#dsmp#dream smp fanfiction#dsmp fanfiction#dream smp au#dsmp au#dreamwastaken#tommyinnit#arc ii finale#dsmp arc ii finale#i just really want tommy to go off
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All I Want For Christmas Is You Chapter 9 ~The Christmas Spirits~
Previously in Christmas Eve Rush
Her hand flew to her chest, and her eyes almost popped out at the realisation. "Good Lord. You're in love with her, aren't ye? It's all over your face. Oh my God!"
"Please? We dinnae have a lot of time," he whispered, almost close to tears. "Ye're the only one who can get through to Claire."
A few heartbeats passed as he held his breath.
"Fine! Let's do this!" Suddenly spurred by excitement into action, she quickly grabbed a piece of paper and pen and handed it to him. "Write down your number, and I'll update you after I've called Claire."
"Ye will?"
"Yes, yes ..." she muttered. "Come on, chop-chop!" She clapped her hands at him.
Elated with the turn of event, he didn't waste any more time and rapidly scribbled his number and pushed the piece of paper back to her. "Thank ye. I owe ye big time." When an afterthought came to him, he shoved his hand into his pocket, took out a spare key to his cottage and placed it on the table. It was meant to be for Claire. "Another favour, I have a dog and kitten in the house and ..."
"I got it." She grinned and made a shooing motion. "Now go!"
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Claire sat at the airport's cafe, every sound of someone's laughter and the sight of happy couples holding hands, driving a knife into her chest. She still had a few hours to go before its time to go through security. With a heavy heart, she miserably flipped the pages of a glossy magazine, unseeing its pages' articles and pictures. It had taken every iota of her resolve and will power to leave Broch Mordha, and now Annalise had made her book a later flight because her friend was on the way and wanted to talk. Damn her for making this more difficult! In truth, she wanted to know what Jamie had told her friend and wondered what he would have said if she'd confronted him instead of running away. Now that she was finally out of his life was he even thinking about her? Staying in Broch Mordha would have most probably increased the likelihood of her believing his excuses and running back into his arms. She just couldn't handle the emotional fallout.
"I beg your pardon, is this seat taken?" a soft feminine voice asked.
Claire briefly glanced up, offered a weak smile and motioned for the woman to sit. She wasn't in the state nor mood for small talks so she put her head down and pretended to read, hoping the woman would take a hint.
Restless, she glanced again at her phone to check the time. Annalise should be here soon. Is she planning to fly with me? I hope not! She noticed the cafe was beginning to get busy with people waiting for love ones to arrive or the check-in counter to open. Tomorrow at this time, she'd be home. The thought of spending Christmas in London in the cramped apartment made her doubly miserable. She loved the open spaces of the Highlands and quaint villages. Although the weather could be quite grim, the landscape's natural beauty and loads of fresh air more than made up for it. With its tranquil settings, it was an ideal place to start her writing career. She'd put it on hold for far too long, working for a publishing company that gave her very little satisfaction and yesterday she'd even fantasised of moving to Broch Mordha and making it a reality to be closer to Jamie. How could I have been so stupid?
"Highlands in December is romantic, isn't it?" The woman sharing her table smiled pleasantly. "I love this place. There's something magical about it, don't you agree?"
Ah, another English woman to fall for the Highland charm! She was about to give some generic answer about the Highlands' ancient history lending the romance a hint of mysticism when the harsh truth chose that moment to free itself. "Kind of deceiving though, isn't it? I got caught up in that so-called magic, but some wanker decided to exploit it and use my heart to make fertiliser. I've only known him for a couple of days, but I can't stand being in this place anymore without thinking about him and his stupid, stupid handsome face. And the way he looked at me." She blew a breath and blinked back the tears. "I guess I was just plain naive and a bloody dimwit for thinking smooth talkers only existed in big cities like London. I tell you what, they're rife everywhere and you can never be too careful."
If the woman had been surprised by Claire's outburst, it didn't show. "Now, now, I'm quite sure there is a perfect explanation. Lovely and sweet as you look, I see the wisdom that belies your age in your eyes. You don't seem like a person to be taken by someone's smooth line at all."
She let out an almost deranged laugh. "Well, obviously, I am. I took one look at a beautiful face, and all logic went south. So there," Claire huffed.
The other woman looked away and sipped her tea. She was much older than Claire thought - in her forties maybe or could be fifties, but it was hard to tell. She had a dark, sleek modern bob hairstyle that contradicted the mumsy grey slacks, woollen jumper and lack of makeup and accessories. Her face was kind though, and there was a serenity in her demeanour she found comforting and familiar.
Claire regretted her oversharing and decided to shut her mouth and continued reading.
"I met my husband many years ago here. Not far from where we are now. A place called Broch Mordha."
Claire's head shot up. "Oh! Is your husband Scottish?"
"No, he's English. We met one summer while watching a Highland game. He lived in Broch Mordha while doing some research for work, and I was on holiday. We fell in love and eventually married. And every year from thereon we celebrated our anniversary here. It's a very special place for us."
"That's very sweet," Claire remarked, trying not to think of Jamie and what could have been for them if he hadn't been a knobhead.
The woman let out a soft laugh and daintily wiped her mouth with a napkin. "Sweet isn't the description I would have used to describe the circumstance of how we met; nevertheless, it turned out my darling husband is my soul mate and marrying him had been the best decision I've ever made in my life."
"Good for you ..." Claire whispered, subtly glancing once more at the time on her phone. She hoped Annalise would be here soon because the last thing she needed right now was to hear someone else's happily forever after. But in the end, curiosity got the better of her. "So what made you change your mind about him?"
The woman sighed and took out her book. "My husband was an insensitive clod, and when he eventually saw the error of his ways and asked for forgiveness, I gave him a second chance. Forgiving him didn't change the past, and I realised in the end, if I hadn't forgiven him, my actions would have robbed me of the best years of my life. And of course, a beautiful daughter who turned out to be everything I've ever hoped for and much more." She smiled and then turned her attention to reading. Obviously, oversharing was now over.
"I see ..." Claire muttered. Well, what had she expected? A magical solution? She almost laughed out loud. No such thing!
It was too late for her and Jamie anyway. She was on her way to London, and he'd probably moved on now that she was gone. It was definitely better this way. Out of sight, out of mind.
**********
He switched off the ignition of his car and texted Annalise to inform her he'd arrived at his destination. She'd messaged him earlier letting him know Claire would be at D'Lish cafe. Scanning his vicinity, Jamie drew in a lungful of air. He'd only been in Inverness Airport's parking lot a few minutes, and already his nerves were on tenterhooks. From the congested traffic and beeping cars to stressed people madly rushing about, Jamie realised how far from his world he'd strayed, and the distance was only under an hour's drive.
He hadn't even stepped out of his car, and already he was counting the minutes till he was back within the peaceful haven of Broch Mordha. But he'd made up his mind. He wasn't going back without Claire and had taken his passport with him just in case he would have to follow her all the way to London. How he was going to manage that with his unpredictable episodes, he had no idea. He hoped he would be able to keep his panic attacks at bay long enough until he found her and convinced her to come back home.
"I'll walk in with you," Harry said quietly out of the blue as if he'd sense his trepidation. "My flight isn't till later, and my wife is probably enjoying her cuppa tea somewhere."
The tightness in his body relaxed, and Jamie nodded gratefully. Harry seemed to always understand his situation, popping out of the blue at the strangest times. Jamie had never questioned it and put it down to simply Harry being unusually perceptive and a good friend.
They quietly walked side by side towards the airport and when they entered the building, moving bodies and a sea of faces swarmed his vision. The racket and clamour of people going about their business surrounded him, and Christmas crowds trying to make it home before Christmas jostled too close, their cacophony of voices chattering excitedly.
Jamie swallowed the mounting panic and fixed his thoughts on Claire, breathing deeply in through his nose and with a heaving chest, letting it all out with a whoosh. His eyes darted and saw people smiling and nodding animatedly, laughter and children's squeals infiltrating his consciousness, their sound accompanied by an air of anticipation that told him it was a season of joy.
Jamie managed to put a grim smile on his face and concentrated on getting one foot in front of the other, apologising now and again whenever he accidentally bumped into someone, almost stumbling like an intoxicated man. Although aware of Harry's presence, perspiration coated his skin, and he could feel a bead of sweat running down his temple. The usually comfortable soft fabric of his sweatshirt chaffed and squeezed him like a clamp almost suffocating him. The chaotic din typical of an airport during the holiday season came in a huge rush of waves, at first faint, then building to a deafening sound that roared in his ears, shattering his foundation and foothold.
Oh, God, please, not now. Jamie knew it was happening. Attempting not to panic, he began to employ a technique that more often than not worked. He tried listening to his mother's singing in his head, the one that stuck most in his mind and brought him comfort when he'd been amidst a conflict in a war zone, a song that sang him to sleep when he was a wee bairn.
He stopped a few metres away from the cafe where Claire was supposed to be waiting and took a moment to draw in oxygen, clinging to his mother's singing in his head. Goodnight, you moonlight ladies. Rockabye, sweet baby, James. Deep greens and blues are the colours I choose. Won't you let me go down in my dreams? And rockabye, sweet baby, James.
He dimly recognised where he was, busy eateries, cafes and shops lined a wide area, a focal point for those waiting for love ones to arrive or passengers before heading to security that led to the departure area. Someone's child screamed nearby, and the sound of suitcases dragging on its wheels seemed to rumble and reverberate on the ground. Christmas light decorations that normally shimmered unobtrusively and gave a soft glow suddenly seemed to flash all around him, and the Christmas songs playing in the background became disembodied sounds. Jamie froze, gripped in the throes of a colossal panic attack that forced him to sink halfway to his knees.
Everything seemed to fade in and out, but it was Harry's voice he eventually clung to, his mother's singing hushing into the recesses of his head. The Englishman repeated his name and grabbed hold of his elbow, preventing him from collapsing to the floor and leading him firmly away from the moving crowd. Jamie pitched himself against the giant column and fought the crippling dread chipping away at his sanity.
He glanced around frantically, but Harry's hand grabbed his face and forced him to look straight into amber eyes.
"Breathe, Jamie. Everything is going to be alright. Just keep breathing."
"H-Harry ...I n-need to ..."
"It's alright. I know. I'm not going anywhere. Just breath."
Jamie unzipped his jacket and fought for air, sucking in a lungful. And then, again and again, gasping and coughing as he doubled over, bracing his hands on his knees. Harry's strong hand massaged his back in a circular motion, the older man's presence calm and controlled, breathing with him, encouraging to gradually take in more air.
It took a while to normalise his breathing, his heart to calm down and the cold sweat to evaporate. As he regained more control, though wobbly at first, he straightened up. Gathering his bearings, he ignored the odd looks from passersby, by now already used to it.
Harry gave him a reassuring smile. "Feeling much better?"
Jamie managed a nod as the initial feeling of shame and embarrassment took over the panic attack. Why am I even here? Claire deserved so much better than this and all his fucking issues. On top of it all, he'd managed to make her feel cheap when he was nothing but just half a man. There was no way she'd go back to Broch Mordha with him.
"Oh no, you don't. I know that look in your eyes. You've made it this far, old sport," Harry whispered fiercely, straightening his jacket. "Don't you even think of going back home without trying!"
Jamie blinked, confused. What the fuck? What does Harry know? But there was no time to ask questions, as he caught a glimpse of Claire past Harry's shoulder. She was in the cafe in the motion of getting up, her head bowed down while speaking on the phone.
Last night, he'd held Claire in his arms and now, the reality of the moment hit him hard as he saw her hand gripped the suitcase next to her, reminding him she's waiting to board a plane. He could hardly think over the furious pounding in his chest as a combination of relief at seeing her and fear of rejection surged through him. He barely registered himself, moving towards the cafe when Harry put a hand on his arm. He turned to meet his friend's eyes. "You're on your own now. For now. Remember to breathe."
Jamie swallowed hard and nodded.
"Now go and hurry."
**********
Claire panicked, her eyes darting around the cafe. Annalise had just called and confessed Jamie was on his way to talk to her. Her friend had insisted on giving Jamie a chance to explain and that he'd made a mistake.
But Claire couldn't do this. She didn't have this sort of experience nor the emotional strength to handle this kind of situation. All she knew and was aware of was how much Jamie had hurt her with his words.
She quickly stood up, said goodbye to the woman sat on her table, grabbed her bags and made her way out of the cafe. She kept her head down and tried not to look around in case Jamie spotted her. She began to walk faster, weaving through crowds of travellers as she wheeled her suitcase, images of Jamie encroaching her thoughts. A new voice was trying to make itself heard, telling her maybe she ought to listen to what Jamie had to say. But what was there to say? She'd seen what he wrote with her own eyes, and there was no explaining himself out of it.
She was just getting into the queue for the security check when a shout cut through the hubbub surrounding her.
"Sassenach!"
She stiffened, and her hand went slack around the suitcase's handle, sending its bulk toppling to the floor. It took a few heartbeats for her to turn around and face Jamie, afraid her resolve would collapse if she looked at him. When she finally saw him, he stood a few yards away, suspended in a sea of bustling chaos. Perspiration beaded his forehead, his face pale and eyes a little wild as they searched hers, snagging on the way she snatched her suitcase to an upright position and pulled it closer to her side. As always, ever since she first laid eyes on him, his unusual male beauty made her chest ache. A head taller than most, he looked out of place in the busy surroundings, his blue eyes penetrating through everything in their wake to reanimate her heart.
She waited for something to happen, but he just continued to stare at her, his body swaying a little. He looked like he was about to faint. Worry, combined with fear prickled her skin when she recalled his accounts of his PTSD condition. She'd made it this far, and now she was torn between going over to him and making her way to the security.
"What are you doing here?" she said a little harshly.
"Dinnae go in that plane.”
"It's too late for that."
Anguish fogged his handsome features. "I need ye to hear me out, Sassenach. Please."
Claire shook her head. "What is there to say, Jamie? That text you wrote, told me everything already."
"Please let me explain ..."
"I already know what you're going to say, Jamie. You're going to say you didn't mean to write that text. It's classic and cliche at the same time and utter bullshit." Claire's shoulders sagged, and she swallowed hard. "No, I'm sorry, I can't ..."
She started to step into the queue, but stopped, her heart caught in her throat when a passerby in a rush accidentally bumped into him, and he almost vaulted over. She saw how much it took out of him just to remain upright. She made a move to come to his aide, but he stopped her with a motion of his hand, telling her he would say his piece without any help. Squeezing his eyes shut, he took several deep breaths, discomfort, and distress in this busy environment evident on his face.
"You don't look well, Jamie. You should go home," she said, glancing around, aware of people looking at him.
"Damn it, Sassenach," he wheezed. "I'm gonnae make ye listen even if it kills me."
A stabbing pain went through her heart. "I can't do this, Jamie. I'm going."
"No!" He took another unsteady step forward. When Claire stayed put, relief washed over his face. "What I wrote to my sister about you was wrong ..."
Rage replaced the hurt she was feeling. "You made it sound I was just a notch on the bedpost," she snapped, angrily.
Jamie winced as a woman nearby gasped and glared at him, but they both ignored her. "No, Sassenach. You were never that ..."
"Your words winter fling said it all. What else could it mean?"
"Sometimes, what I think and what I feel doesn't translate into words ..."
"Or you don't think at all," she interrupted, tipping her head back to keep the tears from falling.
His head dropped. "No, I didnae think. What I said was inexcusable, and no explanation or apologies would take any of the hurt I caused ye back."
"It was a horrid thing to say about someone!"
His face flickered with regret and self-loathing. "It was, and I'm an arsehole for it."
"They why? Why Jamie? Is that how you talk about your conquests?"
His face paled even more. "No! You're not that at all. What we had was special, and I've never felt like this about someone before."
"You could have fooled me ..."
He took a careful step forward as if afraid she would bolt. "Sassenach, I said what I said not because that was what I thought about you and that's the truth. Partly, I text those words to get my sister off my case. She was badgering me for getting involved with ye because she was worried about me falling for someone from the city due to my condition. Another part of the reason I wrote that had to do with my fear of getting emotionally attached. I thought by labelling what we had as temporary, it would be easier to let ye go when the time comes. It was wrong ...so wrong. I wish I hadnae said it."
Claire could barely see him through the blur of tears. The awful pain she'd had in her heart all morning waned a little. She forced her feet to move, but the emotion in his voice kept her rooted in place.
"Christ, everything happened so fast between us. And I was rushing ahead before I could comprehend what was happening. When ye told me ye live in London, I was convinced that nothing could come out of this ...us ...whatever this is we have ....because I wouldnae ken how to live in yer world and it wouldnae be right to ask ye to give up yers. When I asked ye to extend yer stay, my intention was to make as many memories with ye because I needed to face the truth of my limitations. I was determined not to be that someone who held ye back and made ye regret what ye could've done. I said to mysel' whatever time ye could give me, I'd be grateful. Yet, here I am, begging ye not to get on that plane."
She wanted to go to him, take him in her arms and forget what had happened, but she needed more. She needed to know that this thing between them was more than just a handy itinerary with chemistry tossed into the mix. For her, it had always been more, but he's a man, and maybe it's just all about sex for him.
"Sorry, Jamie." Bracing her shoulders, she pulled her suitcase behind her and joined the line for security check-up.
"Wait!"
She and every person within hearing distance in the queue turned around to look at him.
This time, Jamie didn't flinch and looked at her straight in the eyes with unwavering intensity. "I cannae let ye go without giving it my best shot. I've used my condition as an excuse for far too long, yet not once did ye ever look at me as someone damaged. I dinnae want my condition to stop me anymore from going after what I want. I swear to God, ye havenae seen persistence yet, Sassenach. Ye have nae idea what it looks like until ye've seen it on me. I've fought for my life in a war zone before, and I'm doing it again now. If ye get on that bloody plane, be rest assured I will be on the next flight behind yours. I will show up in every God damned place ye go to until ye give me the time of day. And I willnae stop until I get it through yer pretty head how much ye mean to me. And if ye come back to me, I promise ye, I'm gonnae work my arse off to prove to ye every day how special ye are. Even if it means moving to London to be closer to ye. All I'm asking for is a second chance."
Looking at him, she knew he meant every word, and there was an intensity about him, that told her he would go through with his threat of following her to London. A lump stuck in Claire's throat, so huge she could barely speak. Her face crumpled, and she let the unshed tears she'd held all morning flow. Unable to stand a moment longer without feeling his arms around her, she let go of her grip on her suitcase and began to make a move towards him. Jamie fell back a few steps, both hands flying to rest on top of his head, relief and disbelief visible in every line of his body. She covered the distance separating them in three steps and flung herself into strong arms that circled around her without hesitation. Applause, cheers and whistles from passengers who had witnessed the scene erupted around them, making them both laugh through tears.
"Jesus Christ, Jamie," she stammered with a hiccup. "You really know how to cause a scene and really make it count."
A hand tunnelled through her hair, gripping her neck so he could angle her head and kiss her. "I'm so sorry, Sassenach. Oh, God, I'm so sorry," he muttered against her lips. "I was an idiot. I thought I wasnae gonnae make it."
A shudder passed through her. "I almost got on a plane and spent Christmas on my own."
Jamie fell back into the nearest seat, taking Claire with him. Obviously spent from all the emotions. "Dinnae remind me ...ever again, please. But just so ye know, I have my passport with me. I was ready to come after ye. Today."
Claire clung to him tighter. "It's Christmas, and we're together. Let's just focus on that."
"Christ, I thought I knew fear." His breath shook and fanned her skin. "That was the scariest situation I've been in."
She let out a sigh, inhaling his scent from the crook of his neck. How had she thought for one second that running away would have been a better option? She thought of the woman she spoke to earlier in the cafe and smiled.
Jamie shook her a little. "Ye're going to think this is mad, but I dinnae want to take another second for granted, so I'm just going to say it, so ye ken once and for all."
"Say what?" she whispered. Jamie tilted her face up for a slow, deep kiss, then stood, lifting her in his arms.
"I'm in love with ye, Sassenach. I ken it's too soon, but I want it out there just in case something happens and I dinnae get another chance to say it, or I do something stupid like making ye cry. Life's too short for over-analysing things and keeping something like that to myself."
She smiled through fresh tears. "I'm in love with you too, Jamie. And next time you say something stupid, I'm just going to get into a fight with you about it, instead of running away."
Jamie's laughter rumbled in his chest before his face turned serious. "Merry Christmas, Sassenach. May it be our first of many more to come."
Claire reached out and clasped his face with her hands and laid a soft kiss on his lips. Her heart broke open, and for the first time, all the pieces clicked together in a perfect puzzle, and everything made perfect sense. Because she'd learned early on you needed to take the bad with the good and embrace it all. Despite Jamie's condition and fear of uncertainty, she'd taken a gamble and trusted her guts, and by giving him a second chance, they'd ended up with the best thing of all.
Love at Christmas.
She knew it wasn't going to be smooth sailing forever. There were going to be long talks of how they ought to proceed with their relationship, compromises to be made, and probably many teething problems during their phase of getting to know each other. But as long they both keep their hearts open, they should have a fighting chance.
"Merry Christmas to you too," she whispered, her voice raspy with emotion.
"Shall we go home?" he murmured, smiling.
"Yes, let's go home."
Hand in hand they left the airport and headed back to Broch Mordha to celebrate Christmas.
Dear Readers,
Firstly, thank you for your best wishes and feedback from the previous chapter. This latest update was supposed to be published on Christmas day. Unfortunately, because I was so overly ambitious about the storyline, I was unable to deliver. I didn't want to rush it after having gone through the story in my head many times. Rushing it probably would have made me miss many of the elements I wanted to put in this story.
Anyway, I had a lovely quiet Christmas. With everything that's happening globally, it was more of a time for reflection for us instead of celebration. I am just grateful that my love ones are safe and healthy and hope you're own dearests are as well. As for this story's direction, I don't know how many chapters there are to go, but I can safely say there is another one after this. I will try to publish before New Year, and if I am unable to do so, I wish you all a New Year full of exciting possibilities, good health and lots of love. Keep the good vibes rolling and take care. X
#melodyheart#all I want for christmas is you#claire beauchamp#jamie fraser#Claire Beauchamp/Jamie Fraser#outlanderfanfic
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Coming Back Home: Chapter Seven - Whistle For the Choir
“Is it out of line if I was to be bold and say "Would you be mine"?
Because I may be a beggar and you may be the queen
I know I may be on a downer,
I'm still ready to dream”
- whistle for the choir: the fratellis
Plot: Based on a prompt by @orphicodysseywrites
Tag List: @shinydixon, @baker151910, @silverwings1999 and @thesundrop. Let me know if you want to be added!
Warnings: Some mentions of alcohol and anxiety. Also a few tiny sex mentions/references but nothing smutty.
Notes: Wow. So it’s been a while since I’ve posted for this fic, hasn’t it? I’m sorry about that. BUT I love this story, and I intend to finish it. This chapter is more of a filler one before the wedding in the next chapter or two, so Y/N and Nick’s relationship isn’t a huge focus, but I hope you all enjoy it regardless!
Read the other parts / Read this story on Wattpad!
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Nick or his character! I just used Nick bc he’s the only character of Dacre’s that fits this prompt. Aside from Nick being in this, this fic has NOTHING to do with The Broken Hearts Gallery. But you should all see the movie if you can, because it’s adorable!
Softly groaning, I wake up. For a moment, I feel something on my waist, and almost scream, until I realise I'm still in Nick's arms. He's still fast asleep, his chest slowly rising and falling with every breath. I smile, watching him sleep for a while. He looks so content...so peaceful. Is this what it's like to get a proper nights sleep? But as soon as that thought crosses my mind, another replaces it. I didn't have a nightmare last night...did I? I had a proper nights sleep too. Frowning, I wiggle out of Nick's arms, trying not to wake him. Once I've done that, I roll over to where the clock beside my bed reads 7:47am. Oh my god. I slept FULLY through the night for one of the first and only times in my life. I sit for a few moments, trying to decipher what it was that helped me sleep so well. Is it because I’ve been drinking less wine? Or is it because I’ve been eating healthier recently?
“You idiot.” I tell myself. “You know why you slept well, and he’s sleeping right beside you.” Nick grunts, and shifts a little in his sleep. Looking back down at him. I smile again. He's beautiful. And he likes me. Me. Despite my anxieties, my awkwardness and well...everything else, Nick likes me just for myself. Kissing him again wouldn't be so bad. Maybe just a small cheek peck? But Nick soon starts mumbling to himself as he wakes up. As he looks around the room, his blue eyes focus on me looking down at him, and a soft chuckle escapes his lips.
"Were you watching me sleep?" He asks, his voice husky. It takes all my willpower to not kiss him right there and then.
"...Maybe. But you looked so peaceful. Who could blame me?" Instead of replying with words, Nick leans up and kisses me again. God, if this is still a dream, I don't ever want to wake up from it. Nick sits up, and his arms go around my back as the kiss deepens.
"Good morning." He whispers once we pull apart. The look he gives me sends my heart into backflips again.
"Morning." I smile. But before we can say anything else, a knock sounds on the door.
"Y/N, are you there? I'm coming in! Just checking if you're okay after yesterday. Nick's not here, so I don't know if he-" The two of us spring apart just as Katie walks into the room. Her eyes go wide as she takes in the sight in front of her...her big sister in bed with the best man.
"Um....morning sis." I smile awkwardly, and Nick gives a small wave from beside me, trying to cover some of his body with the quilt.
"Oh. My. God."
~~~
"I need details immediately. What happened?" Katie asks, eyeing us both as she takes a bite from her toast.
"Katie, I swear we didn't...do it-" Nick begins, but she cuts him off.
"Not you, I mean Y/N." She states. My cheeks flash red.
"Well, uh...Nick came to see I was okay, as you know. And well..." I don't know why I'm so nervous. After all, Katie had said she was okay with me acting on my feelings for Nick, which I had done. And yet, I didn't want to tell her what happened. Maybe because she walked in on us, rather than us telling her ourselves. "We kissed. That's all." She raises an eyebrow.
"That's all? I found you both in bed together at 8am. I mean, you were both fully clothed, but still."
"We just shared a bed, we didn't do anything else." I tell her. I'm not sure if she believes me, but she nods anyway, before going back to munching on her toast. "Anyway. How are you feeling after yesterday? Is everything okay?" I ask. She reaches over the table and takes my hand.
"I'm feeling much better. Thank you for being there for me Y/N. And you Nick. Adam helped too of course. I think I'm starting to put it out of my mind." She smiles. "What, with the wedding and all." Suddenly, her eyes go wide, and she drops the toast onto her plate. "Oh my god. I'M GETTING MARRIED THIS WEEK!" She squeals. I can immediately sense her anxiety levels rising. "I'm...what if...we-" She begins to panic. "And there's the rehearsals and the dinner, and omg I still have to do this and-"
"Hey, hey, hey. It's okay. We're here to help. And besides, everything's ready to go, we just need to take everything over to the hotel and to the venue before the big day."
"You sure?" She asks, and I nod. Katie takes a deep breath. "You're right. I'm calm. Everything will be fine. We'll show our Dad. We'll make it a party he'll regret missing! I mean, can you believe he wanted to miss it? Idiot." A smile grows on her face, and Nick and I give each other a look, both sensing something is off.
"Uh Katie, are you sure you're okay? We can talk about it if you want." She shakes her head.
"I'm fine. Water under the bridge."
"Katie seriously, if you're still upset, we-"
"NOPE. I'm fine. How could I still be upset when I have THIS!" She waves her arms at us. "Two of my favourite people have found each other and are finally happy! Man, I love love! I love weddings!!! Best time ever. Now come on you two. We have work to do!" She announces, getting up and leaving the room, taking her plate with her.
"Uh...Is she okay?" Nick asks as we watch her go.
"I have no idea. I better keep an eye on her. I'll see you later, okay?" I ask, and he squeezes my hand for reassurance. It's going to be a long day.
~~~
"Seriously sis. I'M FINE." Katie tells me again as we load the garment bags containing our gowns into our bags. "But enough about me. What's Nick like? You know..." I gasp. "Not like that! I mean kissing wise. Was it nice?"
"Yeah, it was really nice." I answer, feeling my cheeks flushing slightly. Katie smiles.
"Maybe we'll be planning your wedding next. Will it be as awesome as mine though? We'll have to see." She winks, organising the bags. Frowning, I open my mouth to say something, but she cuts me off again. "Right, time to load these into the car. Come on sis, let's go!" She calls, picking up a load of bags and walking out of the room with them. I watch her go again. For a moment there, it almost looked like Katie's smile dropped, but she replaced it before I could say anything.
Something definitely isn't right with her.
~~~
As the day continues, and Katie and I finalise final bridal preparations, I can still sense something isn't right. But I don't want to prod her too much, so I let her go on and on about how great the wedding is going to be, and how it's going to be the best party anyone has ever been to. If she's ready to talk to me, she will.
And soon, she does. As we’re carrying boxes to the car, a centerpiece slips out of the box she is carrying, and it lands on the driveway. "I'll get it!" I call, bending down to pick it up. Before I even get back up however, I hear a sniffle from beside me.
"Just leave it. It's stupid anyway. This whole thing is stupid." I snap my head up.
"What do you mean?" I ask, rushing over to her.
"Look. There must be a reason why Dad doesn't want to come to the wedding. Even if I make it a great party, he still won't come. Maybe it's stupid." She sighs, wiping her eyes. Anger rises within me. Our Dad already made me hate myself for twenty one years, and I won't let him do the same to Katie.
"No. It's not stupid. The only reason why Dad doesn't want to come is because he expected us to welcome him back with open arms after what he did, and make him part of our family. And we didn't! He's just too proud to admit that his daughters don't care about him or what he thinks anymore."
"But...I do." She sniffs, and I pull her into a hug. "Even if he doesn't care about me."
"I'm sorry sis. But trust me. He is not worth it. He is not worth ANY of our tears. Years of therapy and trying to learn how to love myself taught me that. And look at us now! We're both happy with people we love and care about around us, and yet he can't even get his two daughters back because we know what a piece of garbage he is. He means nothing to us. If he cared a single iota about us, he would've shown up long before this. And he would have stayed for your wedding. But he didn't." Katie looks up at me, her eyes glistening.
"Maybe you're right about that..." She trails off.
"I am right. Trust me. He is not worth any of your pain. And no. Your wedding isn't stupid. Who was the one who specifically wanted a vintage shabby chic theme for your wedding, even when your planner said it is one of the most basic and popular choices?"
"Me."
"And who has constantly picked things she wanted without letting anyone else change her mind...even Caroline and the bachelorette venue? Or me and this town?" Katie sniffles, and giggles.
"Me!"
"And who's going to have a PERFECT wedding, all by herself, not giving a single fuck about whether or not her Dad is there?"
"...Me?"
"That's right! Because you and Adam picked out everything to please yourselves. Nobody else. So you don't need to worry about pleasing our Dad or making him jealous, because pleasing others is never what you wanted to do. All you ever wanted to do was celebrate your love to Adam. And you'll do exactly that. Dad or no Dad." I tell her. "And besides. I think these centerpieces are beautiful. After all. I helped make them, so I might be biased." Katie laughs again at that, this time a proper, happy laugh. It makes me smile.
"Yeah...yeah you're right. I'm sorry about that. I was probably letting what happened yesterday and my nerves get the best of me."
"It's okay. Hey. How about when we get back home, I give you the number of my therapist? You don't have to go...but maybe it'll do us both good to talk about it with a professional. It’s been really helpful for me so far."
"I'd like that."
"And until then, you know I'm always here for you right?" Katie nods, and we hug again. We both load the box into the car, and head back towards the house. I slip my arm around her waist and pull her in close. Another crisis averted. For now anyway.
"Wait, did you just say that you're in love with Nick?" Katie asks, her eyes wide.
"I said nothing of the sort." I mean, I didn't...it just slipped out. I don't even know how I feel about him. I mean, I like him, of course I do, and I want to see him again after the wedding is over. It's just...I don't know if he wants to see me again. And love is a strong word to use when we only kissed yesterday. And this morning. Still though. It's too soon. "You idiot." A little voice in my head says. "Of course he wants to see you again. He wouldn't have kissed you otherwise. He's not the kind of person to kiss someone and then just ditch them....at least I hope not."
"Look at you blush! You totally did say that!" Katie grins, pointing at my face. "Are you going to tell him?"
"No! Katie I don't even know how I feel yet, or how he feels. And besides, it's not like I have time to think about it, because we're literally leaving the day after tomorrow to go to the wedding rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner, and then we're staying in the hotel with the rest of the bridal party the night before, remember?"
"Yeah, you're right. But you should give it a think." She says, and I nod. She was right, of course. But I didn't want to think about it. I wasn't ready to consider the possibility that Nick was going to leave me, and that I'd be alone again. I already have to deal with what feels like losing my younger sister to her new family, I can't handle losing Nick too. I mean, I was happy for Katie, of course I was. What kind of monster would I be if I wasn't happy for my little sister getting married after the shit childhood we had? But it had just been the two of us for so long. We lived together for so long, spoke everyday on the phone when we were at university, and we even live about an hour away from each other by train. But now I have to come to terms with the realisation that she might not be living so close to me after she gets married. I know I can't protect her for the rest of her life, and I don't want to smother her...but actually coming to terms with that was hard. God, is this what parents feel like when their kids finally leave the nest? Cause it's shit.
~~~
That night, as I finish packing up my things to take to the hotel before the wedding, I spot a picture of Katie and I the night of her senior prom. Smiling fondly, I pick it up and sit down on my bed, looking down at the picture. There's a knock on the door.
"Come in." I call. Nick opens the door and sits beside me.
"Hey. What'cha looking at?" He asks.
"This is Katie and I the night of her senior prom." I let him look at the picture.
"Oh my god, her dress looks like a marshmallow."
"Hey! I helped her pick that out! It's a very pretty marshmallow. Even if it's bright pink and sparkly."
"Is her dress like this?" He asks.
"No! You'll see it on Friday." I sigh, looking down at the picture. "God, this feels like it was just yesterday, and now she's getting married..." I trail off as tears start to fill in my eyes. Fuck. I can't cry in front of Nick.
"Hey, are you alright?" Nick asks. He gently presses a soft kiss to the side of my head. And that is what sets my tears off. Shit. I mean, Nick has seen me at some of the worst points of my life, and still stayed beside me, but it doesn't mean that I like being so vulnerable in front of him.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I sniff, wiping my eyes. "It's just been tough, realising that she's growing up and won't be my little sister who's just across the hall from me or an hour away from me anymore. It's dumb, I know. This was always going to happen, I just never thought about it until now." Nick smiles softly.
"I understand. It's not dumb." He gently takes my hand, and I look over at him. God, how is he always SO nice? I swear it's not normal. As I look into his blue eyes, I realise that I’m not ready to say goodbye to Katie...and I’m definitely not ready to say goodbye to Nick either. I’m not ready for this change. "Maybe you should talk to her about it though. I mean, she is your sister, I'm just a friend of hers.”
“Easier said than done." I sigh. “She’s focused on only the wedding right now, and then she’ll be away on her honeymoon early the next morning, so I don’t think I’ll have any time to.” Nick gives me a small smile, and gently rubs my arm.
"Well I hope you do get to speak to her. It sounds important.” His face lights up with remembrance. “Oh! By the way, when you get a chance, can we talk? About...this? About us?" He asks. My heart sinks. This is what I've been worrying about. I can feel my separation anxiety is about to rear its ugly head again. Maybe Nick does want to leave me after this wedding. And then Katie will be gone too, and I’ll be all alone again.
"I mean, we can try, but given that the wedding is literally in four days, it might be too hard to do that." I laugh awkwardly, hoping that he doesn’t pick up on my nervousness. Thankfully Nick chuckles. “We could, uh, talk about it now if you want?” I offer. Nick shakes his head.
“Sorry, but I can’t now. Adam needs me to help sort some stuff in like ten minutes, and then I’m booked and busy for the rest of the week.”
“Same here. But we’ll talk. I promise. You better go help Adam.” I reassure him. Smiling, Nick pecks my lips, and leaves the room. As the door closes behind him, I sigh, trying not to let my anxiety get the best of me. Nick likes me. He keeps kissing me, after all. He must like me. Right? He obviously wants to tell me he wants to see me again. At least, that’s what I hope for. Ever since I was young, I’ve wanted someone to love and to love me back. Someone who wasn’t my family. Someone who wouldn’t leave me...and even though it might be too soon, I think Nick might be that person for me.
I just hope he feels the same.
~~~
Three Days Later: The Night of the Wedding Rehearsal and the Rehearsal Dinner. One Day til the Wedding.
“THAT’S Nick?!” Brooke gasps, pointing over at where Nick is standing, talking to some other groomsmen. “He’s even more attractive in real life.”
“Yup. Isn’t he dreamy?” Katie sighs fondly. We all look over at her. “What, just cause I’m getting married tomorrow doesn’t mean I can’t have one last look. He is nice, isn’t he Y/N?” She asks, wiggling her brows which almost makes me choke on my champagne. All of the bridesmaid’s faces turn to me, some frowning at me. “Oh, didn’t she tell you that she and Nick are totally a thing now?” My mouth drops open, along with the rest of the girls.
“That’s not true, we haven’t even spoken about-” But before I can finish, the officiant clears their throat, encouraging us to take our places for the wedding rehearsal. As Katie and I walk to the beginning of the makeshift aisle, we pass Nick on the way.
“Hey.” He smiles, and my heart almost stops. God he’s gorgeous. He’s wearing a suit, just minus a tie. I can see part of his chest poking through his shirt. If this is how I feel seeing him now, how will I manage to see him in his full suit tomorrow? And the fact we haven’t even managed to speak about our feelings for each other yet wasn’t helping either.
“Hi.” I whisper.
“Good luck with uh...you know. This.” He says. I raise an eyebrow.
“With...walking?” Nick’s face flushes pink, and I hear Katie snigger from beside me.
“Y..Yeah! With walking. And heels and stuff. Don’t want you to break your ankle before tomorrow or anything.” I start giggling, and even Nick lets out a small smile. Even if it’s a bit awkward, it’s still cute, and I appreciate the sentiment.
“I’ll try. Thanks Nick. See you soon.” We both nod, and Katie and I take our positions. Katie is still giving me a look, and I frown. “What?”
“You and Nick! Look at you. It’s so obvious that you two have the hots for each other. Anyone in this room can see it. Even Adam’s parents.” Now I start blushing, and I hiss:
“Okay, we are not talking about this right now, especially not at your wedding rehearsal dinner of all places.” Katie just gives me a wink, and the two of us don’t say anything else as the bridesmaids and groomsmen start to walk down the aisle together. Soon, it’s our turn to go. As we walk down the aisle together, my eyes wander towards Nick. He’s staring at me. Why is he staring at me? God what if I do fall? Shit. Okay Y/N, think of anything BUT Nick.
Nick’s POV
“Why are you staring at her like that?” Adam whispers.
“What? I’m not staring at anyone.” I lie. Adam rolls his eyes.
“Come on man, it’s pretty obvious.” He retorts, before turning back and walking up to receive Katie from Y/N so they can be married. Y/N smiles widely as she mimes handing her sister over to be married, and her smile makes me feel all warm inside. It’s a beautiful smile. It fits her perfectly. Y/N takes her place beside the other bridesmaids, and her gaze catches my eye again. She gives me a small smile, and I smile back. She looks stunning. She’s in a navy lace dress that hugs her figure perfectly. And I just want to rip it off of her. God, I hope she likes me back too. Even though we’ve kissed each other, I still can’t be sure. Y/N’s such a great person, and she deserves someone who can tell her that everyday. And I want to be that person for her. But before I can think of anything else, Adam and Katie suddenly cut into my thoughts:
“And then this is when we get the rings from Nick and do our vows.” Katie explains, and I nod. God, my best friend is getting married to the love of his life tomorrow and all I’m thinking about is how I want to make out with the maid of honour. I need to talk to her about my true feelings as soon as possible. The wedding rehearsal finishes up pretty quickly, but before I can talk to Y/N, she’s swept up by Katie and the rest of her bridal party who leave the room, clearly ready to go to dinner together. I sigh as Adam walks up behind me.
“Come on loverboy. You can talk to her later.” He says. I frown, about to ask him how he knows what I’m thinking about, but he doesn’t respond, and instead gives me a knowing look. “Come on lover boy, we better go.” He orders, walking away with the rest of the groomsmen. I sigh. Hopefully he’s right, and that I can talk to Y/N soon.
~~~
A few hours later
Y/N’s POV
“So.” Vanessa begins, sipping on her wine. We have finished our dinner, and Vanessa, Sam and I are hanging out with each other. “You and Nick, huh?” She raises an eyebrow. My heart rate speeds up, and I gulp down the rest of my wine, already feeling the familiar buzz of becoming tipsy. God, I wish I brought more.
“Uh, what about us?” I frown, trying to feign innocence. Unsurprisingly, it doesn’t work. She and Sam scoff.
“He’s been staring at you for the whole night. Actually, babe, is he still looking at her?” She asks Sam. Sam’s head whips around, not subtly at all, and my cheeks flush red.
“Yup, he’s still looking.” She confirms, and goes back to sipping her beer like nothing major was going on. My cheeks now feel like they’re on fire. “Awww, young love.” She smiles. “I remember that feeling, don’t you babe?” Vanessa nods.
“Why don’t you talk to him? He obviously wants to talk to you. Either that, or he’s trying to win a staring contest.” I splutter.
“I can’t talk to him! For one, my sister is getting married tomorrow, so that takes priority, and I don’t even know if he likes me in that way, despite our kiss.” Sam and Vanessa’s eyes go wide. Now I remember why I don’t drink wine. Because I can’t shut up when I do.
“YOU KISSED?!” They gasp in unison. I quickly shush them, but they continue. “Okay, you definitely need to talk to him. Now.”
“But-”
“But nothing. Katie will understand. And don’t be silly, of course he likes you in that way.” They reassure me, gently pushing me in Nick’s direction. “And if he breaks your heart, we’ll deal with it.” They wink, giving me one last push. Why does it feel like I’m being thrown to the wolves? Nick sees me, and he smiles, relief flooding his features. My heart rate speeds up even more. He’s so beautiful. I can do this, right? I just have to go up to him and say:
“Hey, I think you’re extremely attractive, and I want to know how you feel about me, even though we’ve kissed a lot these past few days, and I was wondering if you wanted to be my boyfriend?” ....Okay no. No wonder I’ve been single this long if this is what I think classifies asking someone out. Maybe I should just talk to him? Even though it’s easier said than done. I take a deep breath, steeling myself, and start the walk over to him. It might be easier said than done, but I have to do it.
But just as I’m about to reach him, a voice from beside me calls:
“Oh Y/N, dear!” Adam’s mother walks up to me. Oh great. Just what I need. I’ve only spent time with Adam’s mother a few times, probably less than ten times, and she was lovely all those times, but I have more important things to do.
“Hi, it’s nice to see you again, but I actually-” I begin, before she links her arm with mine, and pulls me in the direction of some more aunts and uncles. Oh, this is not good. “Actually, I have to do some-” I start, but she cuts me off.
“I wanted to introduce you to some people. Adam’s great aunt Agnes actually has a question about tomorrow, and I thought you’d be able to help, because you and Katie have done such a wonderful job so far.” That’s nice, but I don’t know what I’m supposed to be able to fix before tomorrow. And I have more important things to do. I look back over at Nick, mouthing the word sorry to him, and he nods, but still looks disappointed. I sigh. There goes that chance to clear things up. Meanwhile, Adam’s mother is still chattering away, and hasn’t even noticed me looking at Nick, or my half assed replies or nods. Thankfully, Katie soon appears in front of us both, announcing that she needs me for important maid of honour duties. I sigh happily. Thank god. “Wait!” Adam’s mother calls before we leave. “I just wanted to say...I know you girls haven’t had a mother figure in your lives for a while, and I just wanted to say that you both have one in me. Even you Y/N. Your sister may be marrying my son, but I love you both as if you were my own. And besides, after tomorrow, we’re family!” She smiles, pulling us both into a tight hug. As she squeezes me tightly, I feel tears stinging at my eyes. Now I feel bad for trying to escape...even though it was so I could confess my love for the best man. “If either of you need anything, I’m here for you okay?” She asks, and we nod. “See you tomorrow.” Katie and I wave, and she leads me away.
“Thanks for saving me.” I whisper. “Now, where did Nick get to?” Katie frowns.
“Nick? He and the rest of the groomsmen left to go back to the house a while ago.” My heart sinks. Dammit. “I was actually coming to get you. It’s time for us to head over to the hotel, and I gotta give you girls your presents!” She squeals excitedly. She leads me outside to a limo, and we get inside, being greeted by the others. Sam and Vanessa look at me expectantly, but I shake my head. They look disappointed, but say nothing. As the car sets off towards the hotel, everyone starts to chatter excitedly and pass around glasses of champagne, while I just stare out of the window. I know my mind should be focused on my sister, and I am excited for her, of course I am...but I just want to see Nick.
~~~
In the Hotel
“Okay, so these are your robes to wear while we’re getting ready tomorrow.” Katie explains, passing them around. “Aaaaand, there’s these too. There’s a little note in each.” She hands each of us a little gift bag. Soon, the room fills with a chorus of ‘awww’ and ‘thank you’. I reach into my bag and pull out a bracelet with a little heart charm. My initials are engraved into the charm. “Read the note.” Katie tells me, and I open it.
“Dear Y/N, aka the best big sister in the world. I just wanted to say thank you for everything you’ve ever done, and continue to do for me. I know I say this to you a lot, but it’s true. I hope to one day repay the kindness you’ve shown me over the years. You’ve been the only person who has supported and loved me throughout our lives. Even though I may not be able to see you as often as usual, I’ll always be there for you. You’ve been the one constant in my life, and our bond is unbreakable. I’m not going anywhere any time soon, and I’m not letting you go either!
Lots and lots of love,
Katie xxx
P.S. Ask Nick out. Please. He won’t shut up about you and to be honest it’s getting annoying.”
With tears stinging my eyes, I immediately pull Katie into a huge hug, which she returns, squeezing me tightly. “I love you so much.” She whispers, as we both start crying in each others arms, and the other girls comfort us as best they can. I was worrying for nothing. Katie was right: our bond is unbreakable, regardless of where we live, and who we’re with.
Whatever happens, she’ll always be my sister, and my best friend.
~~~
The Next Day: Wedding Day.
Small lines of sunlight come through the windows and into the room. The room is silent, aside from a few snores and the occasional mumbling as the girls turn in their sleep. Soon however, the peace is shattered with an excited squeal.
“I’M GETTING MARRIED TODAY!”
#nick x reader#the broken hearts gallery#nick x y/n#nick fanfic#coming back home#coming back home fic#nick fanfiction#fanfiction#fanfic#Fic#dacre montgomery fic#dacre montgomery fanfic#dacre montgomery x reader
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hallo may i request Riddle falling out of love... And reader knows but isn't ready for the possibilities...👉👈 I like hurting myself with angst😔🤡👊✨ love your writing~
𝑹𝒊𝒅𝒅𝒍𝒆 𝑹𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔 🧁
Pairing: Riddle Rosehearts x GN!Reader
Warning(s): Angst if it’s not your fancy + it’s cliche (｡•́︿•̀｡)
Word Count: 1.8k words
Extra Notes: I got carried away for this prompt (*/ω＼) I was just listening to random songs and suddenly the one that got away played and I remembered this ask so I decided to do this! This is the first time i’m writing about this kind of prompt and I apologize in advance since I kinda strayed from it but I tried my best nonetheless. I hope you enjoy reading! o(>ω<)o
The scenery was quiet and serene. This would be relaxing to some but to you, the silence was suffocating. The rose garden was devoid of students except for the two of you. It were bereft of any winds and the tree leaves surrounding the garden hung limp as some fell to their own accord.
Clutching at your tea cup you looked at the young redhaired man across you. He was on his dorm uniform as usual, his cape was neatly placed on the back of his chair, taking a sip from his drink.
His face was one of awkwardness, shifting uncomfortably on his seat. Looking anywhere but at you.
You pondered as to why. Is it because of guilt? Or was it because of you? Is your presence was starting to become unbearable to him?
“Riddle.” You called out for him and the dorm leader froze but turned to look at you. Your eyes have finally met his for the first time this evening.
“Yes, (Y/N)?” He looked at you, his tone of speaking changed as if he’s talking to a stranger. It no longer held the soft tone he would use as he always regarded you.
“After we finish, let’s go explore the rose maze, okay?” You smiled at him, trying your best to be enthusiastic and keeping a friendly atmosphere. You gently caressed the marble colored tea cup you’re holding.
This is your last day with him after all.
“Okay.” He shortly replied. Riddle took a sugar cube and plopped 2 blocks in his chamomile tea. The brown herb-brew water splashed lightly upon the impact and the sugar instantly melted after meeting the hot tea, he then took a teaspoon to fully mix his drink.
You nodded at his answer, satisfied that he even replied. He would’ve just ignored you or nodded at your question. You thought maybe he was being considerate of you.
You lift the silver glassware tea cup and took notice of your features from the reflection of the drink.
You looked miserable. The dark circles on your eyes were deep-set and tired for crying yourself to sleep every day.
The sweet desserts on the table in celebration of your anniversary were bright lovely colors in contrast to the monochrome mood settling in between the two of you.
You took a strawberry flavored macaron and took a bite. You tasted nothing. Trey’s sweet always had such a sweet and unique flavoring on it in which you admire so you’re always looking forward at his treats but today it tasted bland.
Maybe your mood was affecting your taste buds. You felt a little upset that you could no longer enjoy the simple things in life because you felt so miserable. This relationship was draining you.
After finishing a few sweets and drank your tea you two decided to be on your way. There were some left since you didn’t have the appetite but you were sure that Grim and the rest of your friends would happily eat them. Good for them. At least they are happy.
You stood up from your seat and gestured to Riddle. “Let’s go.”
“Don’t take too much time.” He reminded firmly and followed you behind soon after. He’s treating you like any other students and not as a lover. “We should head back early.”
“Let’s not talk about that.” You said waving him off not wanting to be reminded of time. The limited time that you two have left.
You two strolled around the maze, the sun was reaching its peak. Riddle was quietly following you from behind, 5 feet away from you.
You smiled bitterly at yourself, you two used to walk side by side while holding hands but now it’s as if he’s also mocking the distance that grew between you two.
You stopped upon arriving at a familiar place at the part of the garden. The two of you sat at a nearby bench, Riddle made sure he isn’t too close to you before taking a seat.
“Remember when we first got together?” You recalled a memory from a past and looked to see Riddle’s reaction, his face was burdened with guilt and a mix of regret. He couldn’t even face you.
“This is where we first got together.” He answered and gazed at the painted roses. “Trey and Cater were helping me confess.”
You chuckled fondly at the memory. As if nothing’s wrong. “Yeah. You were stuttering at your words back then.”
Looking back, Riddle was as red as his hair but not in anger but in pure embarrassment back then. You were surprised at his sudden confession not expecting him to return your feelings at all.
When you accepted, Riddle couldn’t be happier and the two of you shared your first kiss in this place.
Your relationship with him wasn’t perfect. Just like any other couples, you two would fight. His temper doesn’t help during arguments either but you two made sure at the end of the day you two would make up, not wanting the other to sleep with a heavy heart.
There might be some misunderstandings but the two of you would often communicate with each other to help understand each side.
Riddle was awkward at the first stages of your relationship. This was his first relationship and he wants to become a good partner for you. Despite his loaded duties, he’ll always made sure to have time for you.
The heartslabyul dorm leader would have one on one tea parties with you atleast 2 times a week. He’ll make you desserts without the help of Trey to show his sincerity, although it might not be the best, you appreciate his effort and would happily eat what he offered.
He’ll be shy just from a small romantic gesture like holding hands but even so, he would never let go and his grip is secure. He makes sure that you’re not failing any subjects and would glad to go on to study dates with you. He always called your name with such fondness that you can’t help but feel loved.
You once tried to make up a pet name for the two of you in which he politely declined. Riddle said he liked it when he calls your name because he loves your name as he does to you. This of course made you flustered, he didn’t even realize what he was saying until it dwelled on him which made him redder than you.
You felt hot burning pain build up on your chest at the sweet memories which will soon turn into bittersweet ones. “You promised to treat me well back then.. What happened now?”
Riddle couldn’t answer. How could he answer that?
Noticing the lack of response, you whispered to yourself. “Promises really do meant to be broken.”
“(Y/N).” He warned. Riddle’s voice was cold and no longer held the fondness when saying your name before.
“I was just joking.” You let out a forced laugh. “Happy anniversary.”
By your words, Riddle felt guilt again that he had been feeling all this time. Regret washed over his expression like a slow wave on a beach in the night. Each wave was icy and cold such as he was feeling right now but he knows he can no longer go back.
Although it was inevitable, he can’t force himself in a relationship with someone he no longer loves. Riddle really didn’t want to keep you hoping any longer so he wanted to break up with you yesterday but you had begged him to at least celebrate your anniversary. Just lie to each other again one last time.
“We should head back.” Riddle suggested not wanting to be here any longer. He stood up not waiting for your reply when you suddenly held his hand.
“Wait.” You felt desperate, you wanted to be with him more. You help on tightly not wanting to let go. “C-can you stay a little longer?”
“I can’t. I have to check the dorm.” He tried to loosen up your grip but you held on tighter.
“I love you.” You declared your love for him once again hoping it was enough to make him stay but silence was followed. As if it will.
“I’m sorry.” He apologized in a small voice. He was being nice to you out of respect being his first love but his words for you were cruel that he inflicted unintentionally. If he had been aware, he would not have cared one iota.
Your breath hitched. “Can’t.. you just say it back one last time?”
“I can’t keep lying to you, (Y/N).”
“Please.” You pleaded. “Just this time.”
Riddle felt frustrated but obeyed nonetheless. He hoped that at least this could give you peace. “I love you.”
There, you finally heard the words that you haven’t heard for a long time now. That phrase was supposed to make any person feel butterflies but it was different for you. It was 3 words that expresses someone’s feelings of affection but Riddle’s words felt empty. It made you feel worse and you finally let go of his hand.
But instead he didn’t leave, he looked at you one last time with a pitiful expression on his face directed at you and you hated it. You didn’t want his pity. “You deserve better.”
You gritted your teeth wanting to scream at him. Why? Just when did it go wrong?
He smiled at you and gently caressed your hair. This is the least he could do to comfort you. “I really did love you, (Y/N). Thank you for everything. You’re still welcome at heartslabyul anytime.”
Riddle soon turned his back on you and walked away.
You could only stare blankly at his retreating figure. No tears were shed, you already had cried enough upon realizing he doesn’t love you anymore.
Instead, you felt empty.
How ironic it is that in this exact spot that your relationship started but it’s also the very same place that ended it.
Deep down, you knew this would happen but refused to accept it. Even when Riddle would often ignore you in between classes, you’ll think maybe he is having a bad day. Even when he would look annoyed whenever you initiate physical affection, you’ll think maybe he is just tired. Even when he no longer calls your name with such warmth, you’ll think maybe he isn’t in the mood.
But that routine held on for a month now. At some point, you can’t make out excuses anymore because you have already been giving him too much.
Maybe if things could’ve been done differently, the outcome would’ve changed.
Maybe if you tried hard enough.
But you could only dwell on the possibilities.
In another life, surely you two would still be happily together.
Sadly, that story isn’t yours to tell.
Because the story of the two of you already ended here.
𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈! 🌙
#twisted wonderland#disney twisted wonderland#riddle rosehearts#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#riddle rosehearts x reader#twst riddle#riddle x reader#twst riddle x reader#freshly baked cupcakes
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ALSJSKSJS I mean at least they’re consistent in writing Owen. He isn’t written well, like.... at all and we know this but at least they’re consistent with it. Like he’s a garbage father and captain and according to Owen, the world revolves around him, trying to save the day no matter what, even more than being there for his son. But at least they’re consistent with it because I don’t think I could handle Owen being wishy-washy and acting like a genuine good parent one minute than lashing out and acting like TK doesn’t exist for 5 episodes or more after that. Like I would genuinely be more upset at him than I am now LMAO. And honesty saying that you love your kid is one thing and I know that he does love TK. I KNOW he does. He just can literally never prove it or show for this love. And I’m not saying he has to do something drastic to prove it but loving your kid is literally the bare minimum of being a parent and he can’t even prove it. He only cares when TK is hurt or nearly dying (overdose, gun shot wound, kidnapping, nearly dying in the house fire). And that, despite Owen constantly having the vibe of a dad who loves his kid, makes me question him. Like I KNOW you love TK, but you can’t even prove it because you’re literally never there for him. He never listen to TK, his apologizes to TK are insincere and he always find a way to make TK’s issues about himself. It’s just confusing to me. But again, at least they are consistent at writing Owen as the piece of garbage that he’s presented as lol
Owen: I SWEAR I love my son, and I regret any moments of being an asshole to him.
Owen two seconds later: you know I have a good excuse for this, TK. I didn't mean to make you feel bad. It just kind of happened.
The vacillating between being a good father and a bad father could be interesting because it could highlight the struggle that Owen is going through and how it makes it hard to do the things that would make his life most fulfilling. I like that they show Owen wanting to be a good dad but often falling short. I don't like that he never gets anywhere with it, and there are few moments of acknowledgement (and I don't need Owen to acknowledge this necessarily, but I need the show to show this dynamic more clearly to prove that there's intentionality with their characterization. Characters can be un self aware, but the show itself should show self-awareness in my view). They have good bones. I mean, I won't necessarily love Owen ever, and he'll never be my fave character, but he doesn't have to be uninteresting. In 911, you have Bobby, and he's similar to Owen in that they show him as a leader and a heroic figure who has intense trauma. But with Owen, the hero part of him is played up too much that we lose the human part of him. They kind of use his victories as a way of undermining his flaws and lessening them rather than letting the flaws and strengths coexist as they do in normal people.
When I watch him interact with TK, it is usually a wreck. You're very right about the insincerity. Owen often feels like he's going through the motions of what a good father should be. He knows what makes a good father, and he wants to be a good father, but he doesn't have the mindset to do more than go thought the motions. It's just really interesting to see how much he stays the same while characters like TK and Judd have developed a lot. Because the show spends so much time on Owen, I find it really off putting that they don't take his character anywhere. I don't need big changes, but I need to see how events influence him.
Like he's guilt trippy and he like you said he doesn't listen. He doesn't have to see everything the same way that TK does, but in good relationships, you're able to listen to what another person is saying without becoming defensive and jumping to judgment. As it stands, TK and Owen can't get anywhere because Owen is stuck in the same old mindset. He has not overcome his trauma, and it's one things to have continued struggles. I love seeing characters who continue to struggle with their trauma and mental health BUT it's frustrating how in denial Owen is (and in many ways this is realistic, but I want to see progress!)
Sadly, their are parents out there like Owen who love their kids but are incapable of showing them that love because of a proclivity towards selfishness. And Owen does have trauma that worsens this for him, but that was no excuse for basically ditching his child. And if he wants a relationship with his adult son, he's going to have to work for it.
Owen is fascinating in many ways because you can tell that he wants to be the perfect father. he likes to give off that image, but at the same time, he struggles to show it when it most matters. And if they were just an iota more self-aware of Owen being an bad father, he could be a great character even if he wasn't a likeable one. As it stands, they under address it, so it feels like a writing foible more than an intentional choice. I do think the writers have awareness of Owen's flaws, but they really don't highlight them adequately or in a meaningful way.
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the nerd and jock cliche, where bakugou is a frat boy on an athletic scholarship and deku is the clumsy nerd but nothing is whatt it seems because bakugou is all the professors' fav honors student) and deku is on a first name basis w/ the campus police because he keep getting arrested for various illegal actions around campus.
deku feels extremely passionate about the environment and civic duty etc and wants the world to care as much as he does!!! so he get tangled up in various issues around campus and caused all sort of problems even as he fixes them. katsuki is the v v tired bf who has to bail him out lol
ppl knows midoriya izuku before they even met him because he's famous around campus for his many colorful 'deeds' and that one time he released frogs from the biology building in protest of finding out that the school dumping their waste in the restricted woods. he's a good student but he got a rebellious streak a mile wide. rules are good only if they serve the betterment of society otherwise deku usually said fuck it which is the most hilarious thing to katsuki because izuku gets stupidly shy trying to hold katsuki’s hand but he has no problem getting right up in a bully face before getting someone punch him lol /o\.
Katsuki is the campus golden boy: stellar academic records, incredibly athletic, and tho he's blunt and prickly the school hold him high esteem because he get shit down without raising hell over unlike izuku. esp the profs because he's their star student w/o fail but he got a major flaw—his bf who all the profs dread and begrudgingly loves!!
izuku is small in size and soft in heart, but he got the soul of a harden soldier who never came back from war because he somehow always find a cause to fight for as though he cant stop fighting or he'll die. it just means he loves and cares too much for you, me, everyone, and the world!!! katsuki knows that well enough, that's why he doesnt stop izuku from doing what he does. also, because he thinks it's fucking funny to see his smol bf go up against giant foes like that sleezy sexist fuckboi in their chem class to pharmaceutical company with clenched fists. katsuki's life is just perfect growing up: good school, good friends, and annoying but supportive parents who let him have free reign so when he met izuku in their first year in college, this kid w/ the bleeding heart & bruise fist, his life got royally wrecked and he loves it.
izuku makes his life 200% more interesting with all the often weird and/or troubling things he get up to. katsuki's life was perfect but boring af until izuku steamrolled into it and fucked it up the only way he knew how—izuku may starts fight but it is katsuki who ends them. While izuku loves katsuki absolutely. he thinks katsuki is the raddest person on earth because he never hesitates, if he wants something he'll go for it w/o fail, wont even consider anything less. They actually met before this, but katsuki doesnt remember the boy he'd saved years back and now inspired.
izuku's life was a series of compromise from the ticking time bomb in his chest (literally) to the unfairness of the world because he's either too frail, too much, or too diff to ever be accepted properly but katsuki doesnt give one iota drop of fuck about it when they first met as kids. He’d moved at his pace, uncompromising and unknowingly saved izuku during one of the worst times of his life. So after finding out his savior's name, izuku cant stop looking at him and LOOKING UP TO HIM. izuku tries desperately to emulate katsuki’s no nonsense attitude just so he can have a drop of that fearless determination because he got only one life, however limited it is to save ppl, help the world, to do something and be w/ katsuki.
He’d followed katsuki to his college, reinvented himself, and finally caught the heart of the boy he'd secretly loved. he's living his life to the fullest now, no hesitation or regrets now. if he die today... he would be ok w/ it because he did everything he could. katsuki would be proud. EXCEPT izuku fights for everyone else but not for himself and katsuki once he realized all the secrets izuku have been hiding he's gonna kill him and reminds him that he isnt a one person army and that katsuki too will go to war for him so DO NOT QUIT! DONT GO GENTLE INTO THE GOODNIGHT.
Heres the thing: izuku was born with a weak heart that he inherited from his father, so he spent most of his childhood in and out of hospital. in one long hospital stay, he met another boy. blond hair, a scowling face, and a mean mouth. he'd broke both of his legs playing a game w/ his friends. they were not the only kids of the same age in the hospital but izuku was too quiet and too shy to get along w/ the other kids and katsuki didn't want to be trap in a hospital and certainly didnt want to make any new friends so ofc izuku found katsuki interesting right away.
he was drawn to katsuki's strength and his determination because even he was wearing a cast and told that he won't be able to walk in till a couple of weeks but he WANTED TO WALK SOON AND SO PRACTICE AND PRACTICE. everytime he fell he got up again and made forced his away to be better. izuku never met such a brazen soul before so he stuck close to katsuki even though katsuki ignored him and yelled at him to go away everytime but izuku persistent eventually paid off. katsuki tolerated him by his side, insisting he can't be friend w/ someone who pussyfoot around.
"just because you're sick shouldn't stop you from doing what you want. there are more to life then the four walls of your hospital room!" it's the kind of things kids who don't fully know the consequence of his actions would say but izuku took that to heart, BE BRAVE LIKE KACCHAN he thought to himself.
They’d only known each other for a few weeks before katsuki was eventually released, but izuku never forgot that boy or his vows, "when you get better, come and find me and we'll play again!" he said it was as though izuku's doesn't have a hole in his heart. LITERALLY. and he didn't watch his father die of the same disease!! look, izuku may be young and his mom and nurses coddle him but izuku knew ppl like him dont live long. there was an expiration date and he had been living w/ waiting for his heart to give out,,, but then katsuki came along!
now, with renewed interest in life izuku tried to get better and underwent several surgeries to aid his heart and maybe keep his alive just a little longer. he took HIM YEARS AND YEARS to finally be able to live some semblance of a normal life, but he still that same hesitant boy underneath all that bravado. when he tried to find katsuki again, katsuki had not only thrive outside the hospital but he was living his life to the fullest—excelling in class and in sports and he always surrounded w/ friends and ppl even though he put a fuss about them. all the while izuku was healthier now, stop relying on the hospital but he remained ever stagnant because while he was removed from the hospital and all that entailed, death still clung to him and he still hold reservation about himself, the world, and what it mean to live.mthe next time they meet, izuku promised that he would change for the better so katsuki would turn his way!!! because right now izuku wouldn't be able to stand equal to him and he couldn't face katsuki w/ the way he was now so when they meet again izuku would be a diff and better person
so HE WORKED SUPER HARD ON HIMSELF and his studies to get into the same college as him, pleading his mom to let him go to a school far away and that he would be v v v careful about his heart meds. izuku put his life on the line for this chance to change himself and be someone worthy. so it's not that izuku IS FEARLESS AND BRAVE, but it's that he's so terribly scare of dying that he's risking his one SINGLE life to live however he please right now because he doesn't know how much longer he has to live. he wants to do everything he could with w/e time he has left.
izuku is the way he is now because of katsuki and his fear of losing out on happiness if he never seize the chance for himself. it's,,, not a good prospective but its what keep izuku going and going even when his heart sends him back to the hospital again w/ katsuki glaring down at him.
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living a Good Christian Life 101
A practical guide to living with Jesus as your guide and helper.
(Let’s deal with the misconceptions)
Do good deeds when no one is watching, then keep it between yourself and God. You’ll be pleasantly surprised when good things happen to you in turn.
Know when to keep silent if you’re being misunderstood or accused of something you didn’t do. Hold your tongue when your chest burns with anger; defeat your enemies by refusing to be provoked, and let God guard your reputation. You will see justice in satisfying and unexpected ways.
Speak up when others are subjected to injustice. God is your defender, and He gives you the courage, wisdom, and power to defend others. You don’t need to use the perfect words or fear retaliation; if you act with love and speak from the heart, you will be protected, promoted, and favored.
Be reckless with your generosity. If you have something that someone else would benefit from, whether it’s time, money, an ear to listen, or an offer to help with work, give without hesitation. Life is fulfilling when you use your blessings to bless others, and you will receive ten or a hundred or even a thousand times when you give. God is searching for the right people to empower. He loves to give to the generous.
If you have a problem with someone, or if you feel someone is treating you unfairly, ask God to:
Show you what you can do to improve your relationship
Grant you the patience and understanding to deal well with that person
Speak to that person’s heart and change a possible enemy into a potential friend
If nothing else works, put a “wall” between that person and yourself, so their negative influence is removed
Forget the very worst parts of your past and always have hope for the future. Forgetting is a part of healing because memory is tied to emotion. As you grow in joy and peace, memories that evoke bitterness are no longer compatible with reality. You can ask God to help you forget things that might be holding you back while still allowing you to keep any good lessons you gained from the experience, and allowing you to empathize with those who went through the same thing. Some burdens are too great to carry throughout your life. It’s okay to want to forget, and He will help you forget the right things.
Take responsibility for your life. Even if you struggle with depression (as I have) or ADHD, you are still responsible for how you use your time and energy. Hold yourself accountable for falling short of your goals, and ask God to help you do better. Every iota of effort of energy you spend, especially when battling your personal demons, will be rewarded in unexpected ways. God is understanding and always willing to lend a hand, but He does want you to hold yourself accountable for the life He’s given you. God holds your life in His hands; He has a plan, purpose, and design for every talent He blessed you with. Nothing you work for will be in vain, even if that work sometimes feel pointless.
Christianity is pure spirituality. You don’t need to wear a cross, go to church, or get baptized. You just need to want a relationship with God, the creator of the universe, and understand that He is generous. He (Jesus) came down to earth and died so that you could live without suffering the permanent consequences of humanity’s mistakes or your own.
This faith empowers you to do things most people find impossible, like living in near-constant joy/peace, forgiving others, and serving people without feeling burdened or drained. Christians are known by their words and actions; we are expected to be the best person in any room, to lead by example and through humble service, to let our light shine in the darkest places as living beacons of God’s infinite love.
#spiritual awakening#spiritual awareness#Religion#motivation#love#spirituality#this blog can be a little doom and gloom sometimes because that is the truth about the world#but you are not of this world; you are just passing through#jesus is the way home and he gives you the power to show others the narrow path#i cant recommend him enough#all this is based on personal experience though ive been going through a season of 'meh' where things do feel pointless#he encourages me to keep going anyway#if you use your gifts well in this life (and your gifts are your key to freedom/power)#God will both multiply your gifts in this lifetime and the next because you proved to be responsible#'with great freedom comes great responsibility'#God tests you to prepare you for greater blessings#not as some sort of punishment
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I heard something about a list of all the movies where Ewan appears naked and that there is some serious stuff over his stuff and I am ashamed but also intrigued to ask what 👀
Sksksksksk you came to the right person. I’ve made a list before of Ewan McGregor’s naked filmography. But aside from the basic list,if you want my personal opinion the best of those films are Trainspotting 1 & 2,Velvet Goldmine,The Pillow Book, Young Adam,and Perfect Sense.
Velvet Goldmine(1998) is about the 1970s British glam rock scene and follows the career of a fixtionalized David Bowie (played by Jonathan Myers) and his musical partner and eventual lover,a fictionalized Iggy Pop (played by Ewan McGregor). The movie itself is great just for the soundtrack and exposure of the 70s-90s British underground music scenes. The film changed queer representation in film and is one of the best in lgbtq film history. And this is my favorite role Jonathan Myers has ever played,but we’re here for McGregor. His character is just joyfully filthy and raunchy and he’s this drugged out American rockstar who literally could not give one iota of a single shit. In a scene where Ewan’s character is singing a live rock performance (and it is Ewan singing) he strips down completely naked,dances and generally goes insane,and we see him full frontal nude through the scene. There’s also a couple gay sex scenes and he literally rails Christian Bail on a rooftop 10/10 film all around.
Trainspotting 1 & 2 (1996 & 2017) Okay I’ll be completely honest here. Trainspotting is on my top 5 favorite films of all time list and I think it has the best movie soundtrack ever made. For those of you who’ve never seen it it’s based off Irvine Welsh’s book and highlights the heroin crisis and general drug crisis in Glasgow during the 1990s. Glasgow was the heroine capital of the world at the time and this movie,just as a note,changed film history in many ways,and changed how the public perceived drug addiction at the time of its release. Ewan plays the protagonist who is trying to get clean but all of his insane friends keep dragging him back into their shenanigans. But you guys don’t want my filmography essay,we’re here for Ewan’s dick and boy is it there! Ewan may be buzz headed and heroine skinny and pale as death but I would still absolutely get it. Trainspotting made history for Ewan’s nude scene,and while it’s brief,the whole movie is totally worth it. Its sequel which came out in ‘17 is genuinely so fucking good and is one of the few sequels I’ve watched that I’m deeply glad got made. It wouldn’t be Trainspotting without a naked Ewan McGregor and in the sequel he’s 20 years older with hair and I’d call him daddy, so double win. 10/10
The Pillow Book(1994) I won’t lie,it’s a Godamn weird and absolute bonkers of a movie. It’s a foreign film about a Japanese woman who has the kink of writing calligraphy on people’s skin and having it done to her. It is a fascinating and very blunt examination of women’s sexuality,especially in such a restricted culture for the subject as Japan in the early 90s. Ewan plays a British translater who falls in love with her. So half this movie is him buck ass naked with Japanese letters just painted all over him. He also is getting railed by his male publisher and there’s a very interesting scene where he’s just like,proffered to the man naked and covered in writing? It’s wild and the movie ends horribly but Ewan is also gorgeous and young in it and naked or fucking in almost every scene he’s in. I don’t know how to rate this one because anything where you can watch Ewan’s dick hanging around for like 30 minutes is great,but also the rest of the movie is like having a really weird dream when you’re crossfaded.
Young Adam (2003) This film is NC17 and is basically Ewan’s character trying to fuck every woman he’s ever met. He plays an English barge worker who is involved with the death of a woman who floats to shore where he works. So the film revolves around this woman’s death while he’s also fucking his boss’s wife (Tilda Swinton). The full frontal nude scene is brief but when he’s not naked he’s fucking in clothes and Ewan’s chemistry with Swinton is just *chef’s kiss* I also love how this film is shot and beyond hearing Ewan McGregor moan I actually wanted to know how this movie ended. 8/10
Perfect Sense (2012) God I love this movie,God I love this movie. Okay this one is mostly on the list because of how beautiful Ewan is in it and how much I just love the whole film. He is full frontal in it very briefly and there are some truly fantastic sex scenes,but Jesus this movie just makes me cry. Ewan plays a chef in Glasgow who takes smoke breaks under (Eva Green’s) window. She can’t stand him at first but it’s chef Ewan McGregor and no one can resist that. But the main part of the film is actually the end of the world and it hits way too close to home right now with Covid because it’s a disease that slowly start knocking people’s senses out one by one. The film is just so gorgeous and a truly moving examination of love and what it means to be human,and how that definition can change for us. But seriously,this is one of my favorite roles for Ewan,and he’s so astoundingly gorgeous in this movie and you can see his actual real tattoo the whole time so 10/10
These are just my favorites from his (full frontal)naked filmography. If anyone is a McGregor fan in general my other absolute favorites of his are Big Fish,Moulin Rouge and Zoe. (And Star Wars but also duh)
#ewan mcgregor#ewan mcgregor films#trainspotting#velvet goldmine#young adam#the pillow book#perfect sense#star wars#zoe#moulin rouge#big fish#non star wars recs
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Rewarding His Pet (RDO OC x F!Reader, 18+)
Summary: You listened. You did as he asked. You stopped stealing. You got an actual job, honest work, and you are actually feeling pretty good about it. You weren’t expecting any kind of reward in return, but Everett thinks you deserve one.
Author’s Notes: This is for the millennium giveaway fic; I can no longer reach this requester, but they had previously asked to remain anonymous: id like to request a gentle nsfw thing from Everett please, if that’s okay? Maybe the readers been really good and gets rewarded with slow paced edging and after care? I know it’s not the spiciest of asks but I guess I’m a sucker for the soft stuff.
Tags: fluff, gentle sex, edging, aftercare
Word Count: 2719
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A month has passed since you left St. Denis. You had made your way to a small town up northwest where news of your thefts were non-existent, and decided to start over, try to lay low for a while. You changed your hair, stopped wearing make-up, and became just a simple woman looking for work. Because this was such a small town, you figured staying out of trouble here would be easy. You had made up a pity story about being abandoned by your brother after your parents had passed, and started asking for a job around town and a place to stay. After you proved your ability to do basic calculations, you were quickly offered a job at the general store. You seemed like such a pity case, a lone woman just trying to survive.
The first week was the worst as you resisted the urge to just take items that were lying around. Forcing yourself to not slip things into your pockets, even as you eyed the chocolate longingly, was one of the hardest things you had ever done. The compulsion to take was something you fought hard against, but by the second week, it became easier.
By the third week, you felt the compulsion settle deep inside, locked in a box that you buried deep in your heart. The urge never went away, but with practice, you overcame it. You were quietly proud of yourself for not taking anything the entire time you had come to this town.
Of course, no one would know except you.
You were a little surprised that no one had come to find you yet. Perhaps those bounty hunters who were chasing after you finally gave up.
Unless Everett had been telling the truth and had taken them all out.
Thoughts of the blue-eyed hunter usually stoked a fire low in your belly. But these days, they also made your heart skip a beat, remembering how he had looked at you right before he had walked away, leaving you in that abandoned building, alone and unsure of what to do next.
Shaking your head, you focused again on the stacks of supplies that had just been delivered. You were helping take inventory, your board clip in hand, counting up everything and recording it precisely. You were also a little bit obsessive about it, checking everything twice to make sure you had it all correct.
It was while you were doing this that you overheard two men as they stopped under the shade of the general store to hide in the shade and smoke.
“Y’hear? Ed's boy is back in town."
"Really? After all that, he really came back?"
"He's an Osborn, what'd you expect? That boy loves his family."
They kept talking as they walked away. You had delivered supplies to Ed, an old man who lived on the outskirts of town with his wife and daughter.
His last name was Osborn? And he had a son?
Was fate so cruel to put you in the same town as that man's family?
You finished taking inventory and went back into the general store, making your way to the counter where you could hear your boss laughing.
"Was a good thing you did. None of us blamed you."
"I'm just glad I finally paid off my bounty," a familiar voice said.
You immediately stopped walking, but your boss had heard your footsteps and called out your name. Hanging your head, you came up to the counter and handed the inventory paper to him.
"Supplies are all accounted for. I'll go help bring things inside," you said quietly, quickly turning and fleeing to exit out the back of the store without a second look.
***
Everett looked past the shopkeeper as she ran off.
"So, uh, how long she been working here?"
"Hands off."
He held his hands up in mock surrender. "Hey, I ain't that young playboy any more," he said defensively.
The shopkeeper glared at him. "I saw the way you looked at her." He sighed, contemplating for a moment before deigning to answer. "She's been working here for three weeks. Comes early, stays late. I don't even have to check her inventory count anymore, she's as accurate as a ruler."
"Really? Nothing missing?"
"Nope, not a thing."
"Huh."
The shopkeeper looked at Everett, who was still peering at the back door. "If you want to talk to her, fine, but she's had it rough. Be kind to her."
"C'mon, you know me. I'm always kind to ladies."
"I mean it, Everett."
Everett waved his hand dismissively as he walked out the front door. "See you 'round."
The shopkeeper shook his head; the boy could never keep his head on straight when it came to women.
***
You had just sent one of the delivery men away with a shipment of supplies when Everett walked up to you.
"I see you've been busy," Everett said, glancing around.
You shrugged. "You told me to lay low. So I am." You fought the urge to boast about not stealing anything for the part four weeks. He would probably scoff. Why would he praise you for doing something that most people considered normal?
"What's wrong, sweetheart?"
You glanced back up, not even realizing how your shoulders had slumped and your gaze had fallen until you saw his boots in your view. He gently touched your cheek, his fingers caressing your skin.
"Nothing," you mumbled, trying to turn your head, but he suddenly gripped your jaw so you couldn't move.
"Tell me," he rumbled.
You huffed. "I haven't stolen a damn thing since I came here. But no one's going to praise me for that."
Everett's gaze turned soft as he looked at you, your emotions wavering between anger and frustration. His grip loosened, his fingers moving to cup your cheek instead.
"I’ll praise you, sweetheart."
You glared at him, looking for even one iota of condescension. Surprisingly, you found none.
“It’s hard to change. I understand,” he said quietly, a weight to his words that felt like a lead vest. He moved in even closer, until his lips were brushing against your forehead. “You want a treat for doing so good, right?”
“I’m not some kind of pet,” you tried to say with venom but it ended up coming out breathy, as if you actually wanted his treat.
“But you’re my sweet puppy, ain’tcha?” he teased, his lips now running along the shell of your ear. “I’ll give you a real good reward, what do ya say?” he whispered.
You stepped away from him. Being so close, breathing in his scent, it was too much. You couldn’t think. With him standing before you, his knowing smile and his cocky stance, it was still too damn hard to think. What would a reward from him feel like?
You shuddered with barely contained anticipation. “Alright. I accept.”
***
He told you to meet him at the saloon after your work shift, and to come around the back where no one would see you. He knew your skills; you’d never get caught by these small town folk. So you snuck around and saw him leaning against the wall, waiting for you. He quickly gestured for you to follow him up the stairs and across a small balcony, passing a couple of doors until he reached the last one. Pulling a key out of his pocket, he unlocked it and led you inside.
A small room with just a bed and a basin. Not even any decorations, just a place to sleep and clean your face. Perfect for travelers needing a place to stay.
Or in this case, for a quiet rendezvous with a lover.
“Not the most luxurious place, I know. Next time, when we’re not sneaking around in my hometown, I’ll treat you to something better.”
You looked at Everett, who was admiring you as he took your hand and led you towards the bed. Standing together, he cupped your cheeks with both hands and kissed your forehead tenderly.
“Tonight, let me take care of you,” he murmured. His hands slowly made their way to your collar, where he started to unbutton your shirt, glancing up at you with each button undone. When he got halfway down, he pulled the shirt out of your skirt and continued to unbutton until he was done. His hands slowly skimmed up your sides as he spread the fabric open to reveal your thin chemise and corset.
“My sweet pet,” he crooned as he slid the shirt off your shoulders, dropping it to the floor. He started to undo your corset, his deft fingers making quick work of all the clasps. You let out a breath when it fell from your body, feeling like you could finally move freely. But as soon as you had taken in a breath, Everett took you by the chin and kissed you. He didn’t stop his mission to remove all of your clothing; his hands pulled on the sleeves of your chemise, dragging the whole thing down your shoulders.
Then he stepped back and grinned. He grabbed your hands and placed them on the collar of his shirt. Wordlessly, you unbuttoned your way down, revealing a muscled chest, hard from physical work. He took off his gloves and shrugged his shirt off his shoulders, tossing them aside before he pulled you into his arms, pressing his chest against your bare breasts. His hands ran up and down your back, feeling your soft skin, cradling you against his larger body with a tenderness you hadn’t felt before. You looked up at him, drunk on his soft touch.
“Such a good girl,” he whispered, leaning down to kiss you, slowly at first, coaxing your lips open before he devoured you, his lips wandering from yours to trace a wet trail down your neck to your collarbone, where he sucked greedily at your skin, leaving love marks.
“Everett!” you cried out as he sucked particularly hard at the junction between your shoulder and neck.
“Just a little gift, to keep the other men away,” he said as he pulled back to look at your skirt. “Now, where were we?”
His hands made quick work of the buttons on your skirt, kneeling down as it slid down your legs. Leaning forward, he kissed the exposed skin of your waist as he pulled the ribbon of your drawers, pulling them down to expose you completely to his gaze.
“Get on the bed, sweetheart,” he gently commanded as he got up and started to take off his pants. You did as he said, your eyes riveted to him as he stripped, every inch of his body muscled and toned and, at least for tonight, all yours. He reached down to stroke his cock slowly, a smirk forming on his handsome face.
“Spread your legs,” he said as he climbed onto the bed. Laying between your knees, he kissed around your inner thigh, nuzzling your skin with his stubbled cheek. Then, as his eyes locked with yours, he lowered his mouth to your core and gave you the most intimate kiss, open mouth with tongue.
“Oh lord,” you uttered between moans, Everett’s tongue and lips making you whimper helplessly, his merciless ministrations leaving you panting with pleasure. Just when you were reaching your peak, he pulled away and started to kiss a line up your body before reaching your face.
“Kiss kiss,” he mumbled before he locked lips and breathed you in, pressing his tongue into your mouth and making you taste yourself. When he pulled away, he gently rolled you over to one side. With one arm snaking under your neck and around your shoulders, his other hand lifted your leg up. You felt the tip of him nudging your wet slit, gently sliding around you.
“Ready for me?”
“Yes,” you whispered.
He pushed inside of you easily, as if your body had been ready and waiting for him this whole time. Rolling his hips, Everett held you close, keeping a steady pace as he filled you, over and over again, his lips brushing along the shell of your ear.
“You’ve been so good, haven’t you?” he murmured. “Controlin’ your urges, not giving in…” He trailed off, nuzzling you instead, his hand gripping your shoulder. You reached behind you and fisted his hair as he let go of your leg and reached around to finger your core. Rubbing you expertly, knowing the exact pace and strength with which to touch you, he nearly drove you to completion, your peak just with reach…
Then he stopped and slowly pulled out of you. Whining, frustrated that you were so close again, you slapped his chest as he rolled you onto your back.
Grabbing your hand, he glared at you with an intense look in his eyes.
For a few seconds, you forgot to breathe. This was the Everett you first met, the one who had devoured you, and you had begged for more.
Then the look in his eyes softened and he brought your hand to his lips and kissed your fingertips. “All in due time, sweetheart.”
Spreading your legs, he drove himself inside of you again, and this time, he gave into his own carnal needs, fucking you wildly, crushing your body as he fell upon you and pumped his hips, desperate to feel your tightness around his cock.
“You feel so good, so fucking good,” he growled. “Come for me, sweet pet.”
You had been edged long enough; the sweet release flooded your body, the wave of euphoria making your mind go blank as you clung to Everett as you cried out, wrapping your legs and arms around him and holding on for as long as your release continued to shake you. Trembling as the aftershocks rumbled through you, you finally let go of him, your limbs falling to the bed with an audible thump.
Everett murmured your name as he pulled out of you, lifted himself up on one arm, took himself in one hand, and finished onto your stomach. His face of pure ecstasy, his eyes fluttering shut as he sighed and moaned, was followed by a satisfied smile that brightened his cornflower blue eyes and made his smolder twice as devastating.
“You’re beautiful,” he said reverently as he leaned in to kiss the tip of your nose. You watched as he got up to get a washcloth, wet it in the basin, and came back to you to clean up his mess. He rubbed you gently, being careful not to push too hard against your now sore areas. Afterwards, he cleaned himself off and went to his satchel. He pulled out a bag of candies and sat on the bed, tucking you into the covers and pulling you onto his lap. Taking out a small white mint, he held it to your lips.
Without being asked, you opened your mouth and let him feed you the soft mint candy, letting it melt in your mouth as he stroked your back.
“This is perfect,” Everett said absentmindedly. “I love takin’ care of you.”
You turned your head to look at him, and the tenderness in his gaze made your face heat up and your heart race. He took both your hands in his and hugged you.
“I don’t know why you make me feel this way, but I ain’t lettin’ you go. You just feel right.” Using one hand to tip your chin towards him, he stared at you intently. “I want you to be mine. Only mine.”
“But I might steal again.”
“Do you want to?”
“No…”
“If you don’t want to steal, then I’ll help you stop yourself.” He kissed your cheek tenderly. “I’ll help you. So rely on me a little more. Please.”
In this new town, with this new life you were carving out for yourself, you truly believed that you could change. What you were before, who you were before, these were things that Everett knew about you and yet he still accepted you.
“Alright, Everett. I’ll stay with you.”
He smiled and kissed your forehead. “Thank you, sweetheart.”
The warm feeling in your heart that flowed through the rest of your body made you feel comforted and accepted.
It felt like you had come home.
--------------------
End Notes: I hope everyone who likes Everett enjoyed this fic! This is probably the end of this little series, just a nice conclusion to this trilogy of self-indulgent fics. Onwards and upwards!
#everett osborn#f!reader#everett x F!reader#everett x reader#writing#fanfic#nsft#lemon fanfic#tumblr gift#rdo oc
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