#does anyone else think too hard about these things?

[sharkylass]

YOU I LIKE YOU @faislittlewhiteraven These questions are a little hard to answer with doodles but I tried my best- Nil generally has a pretty heroic and brave personality overall. She's loud and brash and ready to jump into things super quickly.

She's not the best with words, but she is very reliable overall

More art and writing under cut, it's just a long post man-

In terms of helping about during travels, she likes doing a lot of heavy labor jobs- She's the type to fix broken fences, gather supplies for folks, carry stuff around, tend to crops or lend a help wrangling animals. Nil wouldn't be great at things like sorting and organizing tho- Just tell her what you need and where to put it and she will! I mentioned she's not really the best with words (she is very emotionally intelligent just sometimes struggles to communicate stuff), HOWEVER, With folks that have been frozen she connects with a lot. How it's scary that you've been frozen for so long when your entire belief is to change and evolve, how (if Mal Du Pays is anything to go by) they had to fight their own demons in there, how everything can change so easily without you even noticing- It's terrifying to think about.

Actually- a while ago I made battle sprites with Nil- I wasn't happy with them so I never shared them BUT

Specifically I wanted to contrast her frozen sprite with everyone else's- Cause if she were to SOMEHOW be frozen again, knowing what it feels like, what could happen while she's out- It would TERRIFY her instantly. Not just a mild shock or surprise, it would stick with her for a while-

Speaking of battles tho-

Nil is super brash and lively as a whole. She puts up a brave face for a LOT of things, including fighting. She jumps in without really thinking, and as long as it goes their way, she'd have a smile on her face doing it.

However, while brave, it does come from both a place of coping and naivety. She's not used to genuine fighting, in fight or flight situations she actually tends to flee. (Which is why honestly, if she had to fight the King I don't think she could do it-)

If a battle were to start going south, she'd actually start to panic more then anyone else- Physical wounds and seeing the people she loves hurt would lower her accuracy and general capabilities, despite the brave face she puts on.

And due to her lack of experience, especially in bigger groups- Nil tends to... miscalculate sometimes

She had to learn the hard way not to just jump at any opportunity she sees. The party can see where Bonnie got it from (also after the battle Nille proceeded to heal Sif, profusely apologizing, I forgot to doodle that whoops-) (Also gameplay wise, imagine every second turn she does an action of her own without your command)

Also just the Sif image by itself cause I liked it :]

As for chores and stuff-

She does foraging and stuff! Honestly I don't think the other 5 would have done so before they traveled together.

Mira would have most DEFINITELY learned about it but didn't feel confident in her abilities. Bonnie will grab stuff they think is edible from what they remember Nille telling them and they'd grab a stick to cook. Odile would not be interested and would prefer buying the ingredients rather then wild scavenging. Isa doesn't read to me as a biology student, I see him more of a math history type of guy, so either he doesn't know, or him and Mira did it occasionally together, but only as a last resort type of deal (maybe when it was just the two of them and they had to manage alone) And Sif in my mind is an accident prone goober who'd forget which ones are edible and which ones aren't so I wouldn't trust him personally.

SO! LONG STORY SHORT! I don't think any of them are really experienced with foraging. And as a means to make money management easier- I imagine Nil (nature being a passion of sorts to her) took up the mantle! Probably taught the rest how to do it too!

That's it when it comes to stuff specific to her- Other then that she's kind of ready to help out with anything! She can help set up tends, do odd jobs for money, help cook if for WHATEVER reason Bonnie wanted her to or wanted to do something else in that time, bring water, wood, fish, help with weapons- She's not the best at those things, but if anyone needs a hand to be lent- she is there!

I'll be entirely honest, I don't think I understand your last question- But I do wanna say that Nil and Isa become like. Best buds real quick. He is the first one she instantly trusts, since she rivals with Mira, is prickly with Odile and Sif is someone she wants to help rather then ask for help. So if she needs someone to turn to, or needs a partner in crime- Nil would turn to Isa And now I just imagined Mira and Nil bonding over how to grow plants. Cause Mira tried REALLY REALLY HARD and couldn't do it, so Nille would actually love to give some tips- Imagine Mira genuinely walking up to her with a little alive plant with a proud glint in her eyes and have Nil fully support her- Honestly I could keep going for forever, I have so many thoughts on her and her dynamic with everyone- Bro I even have nicknames, you don't even know-

BUT I'M GONNA CUT IT HERE, HAVE FUN, I'VE BROUGHT SOME FOOD FOR NOW-

#isat #isat spoilers #in stars and time spoilers #only cause of mal du pays tho honestly #in stars and time #isat nille #isat sif #isat mira #isat petronille #in stars and time nille #in stars and time petronille #lord give me strenght (its 5am I am not awake-)

[moghedien]

Honestly obsessed right now with the way all the BG3 romancable girlies are the most affection starved creatures on the planet

Shadowheart is just existing in a constant state of being manipulated and abused by Shar and Viconia on behalf of Shar. She has like exactly one friend who she can’t even remember when we meet her because even that has to be taken from her on Shar’s demands. She’s probably had lovers but she can’t remember them and Shar wouldn’t allow anything serious anyway. The two people would show her affection are her parents who she’s not even allowed to remember are her parents from one interaction to another and who she’s made to torture, again for Shar. And the way she talks about Shar, it’s clear that Shadowheart wants some kind of positive attention, but the only attention she gets is a shock collar that punishes her when she’s not being what Shar wants her to be.

Lae’zel is made to see affection as a sign of weakness. She can’t comprehend even treating kids in a way that can even be slightly considered coddling. She sees it as damaging to them, raising them to be weak, because she was raised to cull or be culled when it comes to her peers. If you romance her, she’s initially deeply uncomfortable with the idea of even just cuddling after sex. And even sex is a power struggle, even when she thinks it can’t be anything more than casual. She can’t be weak even while she’s fucking bottoming. You have to be nearly into act 3 before she’ll even admit that she wants you to touch her gently and she says asking for it is one of the most frightening things she’s ever done. The girl doesn’t even know what the word love means until the epilogue, if you romance her.

Minthara has spent her entire life looking over her shoulder for people waiting to kill her in some power struggle. The relationships she mentions to you either ended with death or at least had assassination attempts at some point. She seems close to her mother for a drow noble but still sees that as a relationship that has to end eventually in murder. And even though she has had her mind taken from her, she seems much more eager to pry into your mind than anyone else and when she does it’s because she’s looking for information on herself. How you see her. She wants to see everything laid out and to trust each other completely. Having access to each others’ minds is probably somewhat of a relief to her, because this way she can know exactly how you feel and exactly if and when you’re going to betray her. If you don’t intend to, then that would be the first time in her life she could ever not be constantly on edge around someone.

And Karlach. It’s sad because she’s absolutely the one that would be most willing to trust and open to affection. But she literally is not physically able to receive it. She was forced to fight in the blood war for a decade unable to trust anyone and not having a single friend. The closest thing she had was still a devil who enjoyed hurting her in petty little ways, who would still sell her out to Zariel. And when she’s escaped from the Hells, she still can’t physically touch anyone without killing or at least severally hurting them. She is clearly the most openly eager for physical affection, even the most platonic and casual touch, but she can’t get that. She will literally physically hurt anyone who gets too close to her not matter how hard she tries not to, because of how other people hurt her.

#the girlies aren’t ok #they’re touch starved and affection less #shadowheart #lae'zel #minthara #minthara baenre #karlach #bg3 #baldur's gate 3

[gatorbites-imagines]

Thank you so much for writing for Invincible!!!!!! There's hardly anything especially with a male reader

So like yandere Mark, am i right? If he were to be yandere i could totally imagine him using his powers to intimidate his lover and get rid of anyone who he doesn't like and he would act like it's your fault if you're sad when he kills someone, he got it from his dad

Mark Grayson Yandere Alphabet

I found this yandere alphabet, so I decided to fill it out for Mark :3c This is post season 2 mark, or something around that, which is why Mark is different to what Nolan would be like. Let me know if you guys wanna see more alphabets like this.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

I think after everything that’s happened, Mark would be a very clingy guy. He would hug, hold, and kiss his darling any chance he gets. It can get pretty intense, like, mark holding you so hard bones would break if you try to wiggle free or if he’s feeling extra emotional, be it positive of negative. In the beginning hed be too shy to kiss you, but when he crosses that bridge, he never stops.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

After everything with his dad and with Angstrom, it would be much easier for Mark to get violent and bloody, especially if he thinks someone is trying to harm you, in his opinion. And to him, anybody trying to rescue you from him is a threat.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

I don’t see Mark as someone who would mock his darling. Instead, he would try to pamper you and make you love him back, to make you accept that this is your new life now and its for the best. He would be overly affectionate, to the point where its extremely overbearing. His horrible self-worth also makes you seek a lot of validation. So, all in all, he’s very draining to be around.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Mark would hug you, cuddle you and kiss you against your will. Hed go as far as to force you to take care of yourself if you don’t, either by him doing it for you, or watching you like a hawk as you do it. hed never force himself on his darling though, since he still sees himself as a hero.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

He would expose his heart to you from the very beginning, since he feels so guilty about kidnapping you. Mark would just word-vomit everything he feels and how this is what he needs to do, because he loves you so much and can’t lose you.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Mark would be so sad, but he understands why his darling fights back in the beginning, at least some part of him does. But he would grow frustrated if they kept fighting back for a longer period of time, since he thinks hes doing the right thing. Why cant his darling just SEE that?

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Its in no way a game for Mark, this is almost life and death for him. He hates seeing you trying to escape too, since he knows its just proof that you don’t love him back or understand his version of the truth.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Probably the fact that there is a high possibility that Mark has killed his darling’s family and loved ones, since if he killed them, there’s no reason for you to leave right? You have no one else, just him, and that’s all you need. Hes also broken many bones, sometimes without meaning too, and sometimes on purpose.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

He fantasizes about an almost movie like future, with a happy spouse who loves him back just as much as he loves them, where you’ll greet him at the door and embrace him so happy he’s home. It wouldn’t be too out of this world for Mark to imagine his darling as still living in solitude in what he deemed the safest place.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Mark gets so jealous, since his mental state is already very broken. The very thought of his darling loving someone else or wanting to leave him for someone else? Its almost enough to get him spiraling, and it either leads to him having a horrible breakdown, or growing extra violent when he fights crime.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Disgustingly doting and clingy. Hes always right behind you or touching you in some way. He absolutely craves your attention and validation, and will have a panic attack if you ignore him. But he also uses a lot of guilt tripping when he isn’t getting his way, or his darling it acting out.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

I imagine your relationship was actually pretty normal in the beginning, with you replacing Amber. As normal as a relationship dating a superhero is at least. So mark was kind of clumsy but so sweet and genuine. But then everything with angstrom happened, and he just kinda breaks.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Yes. Mark acts cooler and a lot more down to earth around people, suppressing the worse parts of himself. He wants to come across as a hero that everyone can look up too, which also means very few people know of your existence after you disappear.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Mark doesn’t like to hurt his darling physically, but he isn’t above breaking bones. He will sob the entire time though, crying and yelling at you that this is your fault and hes only doing it because you gave him no other choice. But he prefers emotional punishment instead, like isolating you for long periods of time.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

He would try to keep as many rights for his darling as possible, not wanting to damage their way of life too much. But you would have no connection to the outside world, and you defiantly wouldn’t be able to leave wherever he keeps you. If you act up too much though, then he would have to start taking privileges away, and chaining you to the bed can also be one of those privileges.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

He tries to be patient. Mark knows it’s a big change for you, so of course you’re gonna act out and you’re gonna scream at him and try to fight back. But it also wears on him, making his frayed edges get worse, until he just can’t take it anymore and breaks down, which only adds onto all the guilt he’s been piling on you.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

No way. If his darling dies, then Mark would spiral completely out of control. He would either isolate himself completely, or snap to the point where nolans acts look like a field trip. This depends on if his darling’s death was caused by someone else though. If you leave or escape, you bet your ass Mark is coming for you again. And the GDA would most likely help him, since they know the easiest way to control Mark is to let him keep you.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

Mark would feel incredibly guilty and selfish for kidnapping you, but since he thinks it’s the right thing to do, then he would learn to cope with it. There is a chance you can get him to leave you go though, if you catch him at the right time when he’s most vulnerable, and if he thinks you truly love him in return. But this would be rare, and him coming back for you would be very likely.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

All the loss and chaos he’s experienced since gaining his powers. The stuff Mark has experienced is enough to break the strongest of men, and with his mental state already being so fractured, the thought of losing you would be the last push he needed.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Mark would feel so horrible about seeing his darling cry or scream, since he already feels guilty about kidnapping you. This is also why it would take him months or even longer to tell you he killed your entire family and all your loved ones, since he doesn’t want to see you cry more.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

Theres so many flavours of yandere, that Marks acts would fit some type of yandere, so probably not. Maybe the fact that there is a small chance he would willingly let his darling go? Or the fact that he resorts to using his own guilt and tears to manipulate you.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Honestly just play along with his delusions, that yes Mark, this was the right idea and the world id dangerous. You love him too, and of course you’ll hold him and tell him he’s doing the right thing and being such a good hero. It wouldn’t be too hard to twist him around your finger, since he’s so starved for you and your attention. Escape would be pretty fucking hard though, since even the GDA wouldn’t help you.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Most of Mark hurting you would be accidental, if hes under a lot of stress or very wound up. But it isn’t above him to hurt you on purpose if he thinks there’s no other choice, like you trying to escape too much, or trying to attack him.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Mark would worship the very ground you walked on and would see you as the center of his universe. This is also why the GDA wouldn’t do anything, since Mark sees you as his everything, and you are human and live on earth, then he wouldn’t turn against humanity. Mark would also bend over backwards to gain his darlings affection, whatever it takes, as long as it isn’t letting you free or anything like that.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

If you replaced Amber, then you two would have been dating for a while before he snaps, so he would have pined for around that time.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

I don’t think he would do it on purpose, but it would come as a byproduct of his darling being isolated for so long that they just kinda break on their own. Or might be more his darling being slowly shaped into the same kind of stuff that Mark is made out of than outright breaking, since Mark still loves you for who you are. This is where he’s different from his dad.

#male reader #reader #yandere alphabet #mark grayson #invincible #invincible season 2 #invincible comic #mark grayson imagine #mark grayson headcanon #mark grayson x male reader #mark grayson x reader #yandere mark grayson #yandere invincible #invincible imagine #invincible headcanon #invincible x male reader #invincible x reader #yandere x reader #yandere x male reader

[simp4konig]

Okay okay I have to ask, what’s your fav head canons of Nikto then? I love hearing other people’s ideas and head canons of cod characters ^^ 💕

Ngl, i get inspired by other people's headcanons, and i make headcanons off THEIR headcanons 🥲👍… I'm unoriginal 😔💔

SOOOO, im “” Tagging”” (by that i mean putting // after the @ so the original creators dont get the notifcation for this LMAO=) blogs whose own works inspired me to create my own headcanons 🥰❤️

General Nikto Headcanons ❤️

Word Count: 1,584.

Tag List: ♡ @simpforkonig ♡ @rustic-guitar-notes ♡ @best-soup ☆ @lotionlamp ♡ @trepaika ☆ @luci4theminorannoyance ☆ @happy-mushrooms ♡ @nightlyvoids ♡ @skeletalgoats ♡ @aethelwyneleigh27 ☆ @arrozyfrijoles23 ♡ @dobaddo ☆ @the-second-sage ☆ @wil-xyz ☆ @revnatheshadow ☆ @feelya

Allusions to NSFW beneath the cut! Readers are warned.

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Blunt and straight to the point. Sees no rhyme nor reason in beating around the bush and sugarcoating his words. As a result, he can be viewed as insensitive and lacking in empathy.

Impatient, and has a short fuse, so blows up often. Only you are able to be the calm after his storm, subduing him with soft reassurances and whispered words.

To say that he is possessive would be an understatement — he is extremely territorial.

After his torture, he is wary of the few things that he posesses and can actually call his own (you). His biggest phobia is losing you, and his irrational fear is someone stealing you away. Any prick unlucky enough to not catch on to you two dating will be lucky enough to survive the beating that he is given.

On that note, he is simultaneously self-assured, and insecure.

His mask is a part of him, and personal. It will take him months for him to shed said part of him.

Constantly fears that you will leave him once he reveals his face to you, so puts it off for as long as he possibly can. The day that he takes off his mask, only for you to be so casual about it and passing it off as your day-to-day, is the day that became cemented in his hard, stony heart.

Has conflicting views towards marriage. On the one hand, is an official document declaring your relationship really so necessary? Isn't an expensive wedding superfluous, and too sensational? To him, all of that is redundant — he's yours, and you're his…

…On the other hand, a glistening ring on your finger invokes a primal desire to make you more his than you are already. It would be a declaration of a love which even death wouldn't do part. Maybe he should pay more attention to the rings on display at the jewellery stores you pass by when shopping occasionally together.

An introverted man, who finds solace in solitude; excluding you, his partner, he has no companions, and rarely associates with anyone else. The voices in his head are bothersome enough, so why does he need additional voices bothering him? With that said, you would think that your presence would be a bother — especially with your mindless chatter when Nikto doesn't grunt at the idle small talk at times, wholly unresponsive for the majority of the time — but the moment you give any indication of leaving, he seizes your wrist, his cold, icy eyes silently pleading for you to stay. And you do. You always do.

Bringing me onto my next point: he is a good listener. Your ramblings are all that to you; ramblings. To Nikto, however, it's his chance to unpick all the information about you, down to the littlest of details. You wrongly assume that your words fall on deaf ears, but he listens, and he memorises every opinion you have, every statement you make, and even the small anecdotes that you share, which becoming engraved in his brain. He goes over every sentence religiously, as if it was the Bible.

He has an exceptionally good memory, tending to remember things that you had forgotten. Mention something that you craved in passing? He would surprise you with it the next time you bring it up. Alluded to someone who insulted you and ruined your day? Well, it would be no surprise that that person would never ruin your day ever again.

He is like a cat in the sense that he is an unwanted stray. However, when you came to want him, it dawned on you that he was no cat, but a panther. A predator — savage, vicious.

He would kill for you, no questions asked (He has already done it, but you don't know about that. After all, you hadn't asked him that question yet, only in jest. Truth be told, he has made so many death threats that you have become desensitised to them, dismissing them as nothing more than that: threats).

He would have died for you (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE @//charliemwrites’s DEPICTIONNOF NIKTO IN THIS SCENE??????? HAD ME ON MY KNEES 🛐💍🧎🏼‍♀️ PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE VI NEED HIM SOVBAD); however, when you were hyperventilating as you sobbed and were close to reaching hysterics, that's when he realised that he should value his life more.

Incredibly stealthy. You've seen his execution animations… 🤒 Uses that stealth to sneak up on you whenever your guard is down to smack your ass. 🤭

Insomnia troubles him at night, the relief of sleep rarely coming to him; therefore, he tends to be nocturnal, buying groceries and going about the usual errands you would have otherwise done during the day. When you wake up, that empty fridge is magically stocked with your favourite food, your bear snoozing sometimes — most of the time he stares at you like a creep. 💀 /aff

When he does sleep, it tends to be during the day, and it's almost as if he is a bear entering hibernation

He sleeps like a plank — on his back, his arms by his sides, and his legs straight. You'll curl onto his side, your head on his chest, his legs between your core, and a strong arm wrapped around your waist.

Snores. REALLY loud. 😬 ONLY when you are in his arms 🙄 — when he sleeps alone, he is eerily silent.

Subsequently finding him laying in bed, still and silent, you were sobbing, thinking that he died in his sleep. Finally, after minutes of shaking him awake, he opened one eye, and grumbled groggily: “Дорогая, shut up. I am not dead. Not when I have you to live for. Now, come.”

Once he is asleep, good luck getting him to wake up again; unless you somehow manage to disentangle yourself from his arms — only then, when his myshka is missing, does he begrudgingly get up from bed, stand outside the bathroom door, and whisk you back to bed, willfully ignoring your complaints.

Proud of being your protector. Always has his hand[s] on you in some way or other, protectively keeping you by his side.

Has 20/20 vision, and perfect hearing.

Don't mistake his opening of pickle jars and water bottles for you as chivalry — he is taking advantage of it to show off his muscles for you. Doesn't want you to ask if you want to cup a squeeze of his bicep — when he sees you staring, he will forcibly take your hand and put it on his arm, positively smirking beneath that mask of his.

Has a staring problem and is unashamed of it. From his point of view, there is no problem in staring at you all day and every day.

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Eye contact with him is intense. Whenever you avert your gaze, he instantly grabs your chin to angle it so it's facing him. Eye contact during sex is a given.

Despite not wanting to be a father, he has an insatiable breeding kink (does not care whether you are a female, a male, an infertile female, or other — he is delusional in that sense).

Although he isn't against children per se — mainly indifferent to them, if I'm honest — wouldn't want to pass on the generational trauma onto his brood. He would prefer his bloodline ending with him.

His dirty talk is so filthy that you get wet from just his voice and innuendo. (Thank you @//xoxunhinged for your headcanon 😫💦)

His animalistic instincts are so prominent that you've become convinced that he purrs whenever you stroke that sensitive spot on his scalp, and growls in between grunts as he thrusts into you.

Is rough, leaving dark hickeys and bruises, but he would never, ever hurt you. He's rougher than most, but has sufficient self-restraint to be realise ahead of time if he is making you uncomfortable.

You are his deity, and he worships you — if he was to ever hurt you, he would enter a state of loathing. Since you were a merciful God, he would take the liberty of punishing himself — retribution suited to his crime.

One time you two were play wrestling and he almost dislocated your hip on accident. He didn't touch you again for at least two weeks, until he finally considered himself worthy of your touch.

Is dominant in bed, for two major reasons: because he prefers exerting the control which was forced upon him, relishing in having you submit to him; manhandling you to showcase his strength

A third reason is because if you were to ever top him, he'd cum embarrassingly quickly.

Probably gets off to being stronger than you. Deliberately puts you in positions which render you powerless, only able to take what he gives you.

Whenever you enter his room, he always sits in the darkness. Insists: “I do not need lights. Lights are wasted when I can see in the dark.”

Which is true... but it is also a pretence to hide the concerningly detailed shrine taking up an entire wall, dedicated to you. You'll come to find all of your lost trivial belongings when you mistakenly flick on the light switch.

His loyalty and devotion is unparalleled to any other's. He is utterly and unashamedly down bad for you, and he is willing to do anything and everything to keep it that way.

Thankfully, he doesn't have to do much, because you, too, love him. A lot.

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A/N I NEED HIM I NEED HIM I NEED HIM I NEED HIM I NEED HIM I NEED HIM I NEED HIM I NEED HIM I NEED HIM I NEED HIMI NEED HIM I NEED HIM I NEEDH IM I NEED—

Yeaah i thought comparing him to a panther would be cool 🐈‍⬛

“Guard dog” and just anything to do with a “dog” is an overused trope to me at this point 😐. Dont get me wrong!!!! , it doesnt mean that i dont LIKE the trope!!!! , but my own interpretation of Nikto is a little different, abd i think it suits him better,, Esp bc panthers technically 🤓☝️ do *not* exist, which links to how the definition of his name in Russian is “Nobody” :)

An unconventional animal for a very unconventionally attractive man😽,,

Anyways, it is time for a cigarette 🚬🤏😪. I will return in approximately 56 business days (trust me guys 😋✌️).

#aking10592_ ≛彡 #Nikto #nikto #Nikto x reader #nikto x reader #Nikto x you #nikto x you #Nikto COD #nikto cod #COD Nikto #cod nikto #Nikto Call Of Duty #nikto call of duty #Call Of Duty Nikto #call of duty nikto #Nikto Headcanons #Nikto headcanons #cod headcanons #cod headcannons #cod hcs #cod x reader

[fumifooms]

Falin who cares too much and too little - analysis

Been stewing on Falin thoughts for a while, I know I have an interpetation on her that differs from many but I’m jumping into the fray. I think there’s a lot to be said about what we do see of Falin. This shorter Falin analysis I made is pretty much essential prior reading. This analysis mainly explores her complex relationship with caring and so it’s sort of structured in two halves, with Faligon at the crux of it all.

Falin cares too little :

A lot of people assign Falin a people pleasing mindset and I… Don’t agree. We never see her care at all about people in her town or at the academy not liking her.

We do see her worrying about what people think of her… ONCE. And Laios comforted her, told her they didn’t matter and she should be proud of herself. She latched onto that hard. That’s why this scene was so important to be included during the dragon fight, relationship-defining; it’s always been them against the world. She grew to not care what others thought, to only focus on her close loved ones. No one else matters.

Laios’ words were her world. Her older brother who taught her how to feel comfortable with herself, who told her, you’re great, others are the ones in the wrong to not see that, I’ll always be with you, always be there for you. Older brother who always made great plans, who always knew more, who was better at wrestling to name the dogs, who she has always idolized. Laios who always spoke of traveling the world, to which she always said she wanted to follow. And she would, she’d follow him even if it meant leaving the academy and all she knew behind, she’d follow him to the ends of the world, and that’s what she did.

She didn’t care about showing to her classes or keeping up such appearances, she doesn’t even think of toning down her jumping into bushes when Marcille recoils, etc. She acts like an obedient pawn often, to her parent’s directives and then following Laios around no matter what he decides to do, but I don’t think the motivation is people pleasing, rather it’s being with & caring for her loved ones, and her go-with-the-flow attitude enhances the impression. Not that it’s as simple as that, mind you, but let’s talk about this for now.

Falin is perceived as selfless because we, the audience, have our perspectives revolving around the main people in her life (Laios, Marcille). They’re the ones she’s devoted to and people who care about her back a lot too, but to people like her classmates or the towspeople she probably must have seemed like someone who didn’t care about the people around her or her surroundings a lot, who just went on alone and did her own thing.

What matters to Falin? From what place does her kindness come from? Is a part of her keeping up appearances? And I think that’s the point, the horror of Faligon as well, that we can’t tell just how in control Falin the person is as the chimera (because we are shown that she’s in there, we just don’t know at what degree), that we don’t know her enough to be able to tell when she’s at her most genuine, her most raw. That even if you do settle on none of her being present as Faligon, we have to at least consider it, consider that she may be able to do something like this and have a part in it, brutal and uncaring. That even the lenses we see her through, the people who love her, may be unreliable.

And this is what’s very interesting about her too, she truly is so idealized by people around her as a saint. She’s so good and kind and caring to everyone etc etc etc. Laios, Toshiro and Marcille all see her as the paragon of goodness in the world. More cynical characters like Namari and Chilchuck have more layered opinions on her, the latter finding her somewhat unnerving because he can’t read her well. But then with that one flashback scene we see that… Her priorities are intensely focused on Laios and Marcille, she doesn’t care all that deeply about anyone other than them (+ maybe her parents). The rest of the party is in the same danger here but only Laios and Marcille who she’s speaking to get the special ,ention, and if they don’t cross her mind then of course she’d be ready to sacrifice strangers through a risky teleportation. That doesn’t make her not kind or caring!! Just that greater good isn’t exactly her priority. Any means is alright if the end result is her loved ones safe, it usually takes the form of healing and caring, but we see she’s ready to fight and make dangerous calls too. To me there’s this aspect to her that she isn’t as pure and magnanimous as everyone thinks she is, both in-world and interestingly enough meta wise as well, and there’s something interesting to that.

People pleasing implies a need to be liked, needs for the motivation to be that. A yes-man, etc. But if we analyze Falin, her general kind, smiling demeanor is more a matter of passivity I yhonk. Conflict avoidance is easier, so she’s friendly and hopefully things’ll be smooth sailing. It’s easy to be kind to classmates even if they act wary and rude if you don’t care about what they think either way. Of course she prefers good things happening to people over bad things, she is genuinely kind, but I think people tend to assign her a very grand altruistic way of life when to her the motivation is pretty self-centered. She doesn’t do what she does because she loves them, but because she loves them.

One situation that’s interesting to dig into for her way of thinking, and what I’m trying to get at, is Shuro’s proposal to her. I’ve seen people saying she hesitated because she didn’t feel comfortable saying no even though she wanted to, "I can’t say no, I don’t want to hurt him", something that sounds sensible and familiar, but it’s actually canon in the Adventurer’s Bible that the reverse was the case, that she didn’t feel comfortable saying yes. Because the offer was tempting, but it’d have been a loveless agreement on her end. And it makes sense she’d want to say yes too, like we see with the Toudens, marriage is very much a political strategical economical thing in their village, there’s even a bit on it on Laios’ Adventurer’s Bible profile about dowries, and both siblings were engaged very early. They lived poorly for a long time, it’s an enticing idea to marry rich, to have not only yours but your brother’s needs met forevermore easily, which at one point in their careers was their main worry and goal. Why shouldn’t she accept a life of leisure and wealth handed to her by a lovely friend?

So her hesitance was "yeah that’s convenient for me, but where it’s everything to him and heartfelt I’m able to be detached because I don’t care about it that much… Can I do that? I’m not reciprocating, not saying yes in the way that matters. Can I do that to him?" Very caring even though it’s not what you’d expect, isn’t it?

And central to my analysis, where I’m going with this is, I feel like that’s the thing with her character, that she doesn’t feel as strongly as she "should" sometimes, or feels a different way than she "should", or at least that she feels that way and others say she does. She didn’t mind suddenly leaving the academy, leaving Marcille behind and not seeing her for 4 years. She acted like it was no big deal that she sacrificed herself after getting resurrected after the red dragon fight. And in both those cases it upset the people around her greatly that she didn’t seem to get why it was such a big deal, didn’t seem to care about how they’d experienced her choices.

So it’s a tendency… And it’s not that she doesn’t care, it’s just that the way she measures what’s good for the ones she loves isn’t the same as what they themselves think it is (like Laios and Marcille not wanting to be apart from her). It’s an overt but quiet kind of care, it’s doing things like following them around and making sure they bathe and have a meal, even if that means she has to be dragged into misery too.

So yes she probably would know "not caring enough/the right way" is one of her perceived flaws, and that informs how she tries to handle her response to Shuro’s proposal. Her not wanting to accept like her first gut instinct, is because she’s thinking about reciprocity, about if it’d be right to go into this knowing that they have different priorities and she might not be able to keep up with the type and amount of emotions he wants/expects from her. And that’s a big part of her character isn’t it, having expectations pushed onto her. Her trying her best, but in her own way that may seem odd or even unfeeling. Not unlike when she exorcised the ghost as a kid too, unblinking and matter-of-factly, and not seeming to understand why people stared the way they did.

Even though she answered his proposal only post-canon, she’d been pondering it for a while even pre-canon and the Adventurer’s Bible explanation was released midstory, so I’m hesitant to assign her much growth about her hesitation and what I went on above, since she still didn’t react "right" with Laios after the red dragon fight (even if she apparently doesn’t remember sacrificing herself) and put herself in that situation in the first place. She hasn’t finished her arc on that flaw of hers is what I’m saying, she for sure still has it, but I certainly think her thoughts on Shuro’s proposal shows awareness, both of herself and social.

And awareness is a big analysis key word with Falin, especially here it can be hard not to conflate not caring with not knowing. How socially aware is she? It’s rather layered, because canonically she wasn’t aware of her ostracization in her hometown at all, and we’re not sure if she knew Shuro was interested in her before he proposed, but she generally seems more socially aware than Laios. She tags along on his caravan job to make sure he isn’t being mistreated (though doesn’t ask he get a salary), she catches social faux-pas more easily like in the genderbend magic mirror omake with Shuro, and interestingly enough she’s very good at empathizing with her parents and understanding their perspective. We see when she’s worried about Marcille coming that she does know about propriety and how appearances shape impressions. Being a chief’s daughter must at least have taught her a thing or two on that front.

She never stands up for herself, but when it comes to defending others she worries, strategizes and explains.

And this sort of understanding is part of why I think she’d notice the expectations pushed onto her like I was saying earlier, notice how she makes people feel when she’s careless. But if she changes anything about herself in response to noticing is for her to choose, and generally I think it’s a sort of inbetween of yes and no: that she becomes more complacent but also more reserved, complying but by hiding more of herself passively. She’s not sure wether to accept or reject Shuro’s proposal, doesn’t want to lead him on? She’ll just be taking a while to silently consider it, try to keep things as they are for the time being. The third, less conflicting option. She doesn’t feel heard by Marcille who keeps infantilizing her? Just bear with it. Retract yourself emotionally. Settle for it.

We see that when she was young she had a tendency to not read a room, and I think that’s here too. She doesn’t get why her nonchalance upset others but that doesn’t change that she doesn’t want them upset or hurt, so she tries, albeit in maybe a roundabout way. She always had a hard time deeply connecting with people, often keeping herself some amount of emotionally distant: erasing herself from the equation, from the two-way trade that relationships are and making it a onesided thing instead, where all their needs and emotions are directed towards her but she only lets out a bit of her own show. She takes everything upon her and deals with it and tries not to give others this same burden, though not on a conscious level, it’s just that she’s learned growing up that she doesn’t have much agency.

Like I went into with my analysis linked at the beginning, I think Falin is used to just taking what she can get and not asking for more, when it comes to social bonds. She’ll take spending time with her mother no matter what it is they do, she’ll follow Laios to the graveyards and stick by him even when he’s pushing her away (because he doesn’t want her borrowing his book or "No copying!" or such). Her father was always distant, cold and uncommunicative, her mother was considered sick from anxiety and the exorcism attempts were the main way they spent time together, at dinner tables there were only her and Laios. The dogs picked on her too even if she loved them— And so did the townspeople, maybe that being normal to her at home is why she didn’t notice the ostracization she suffered.

She’s always been the last to be asked about decisions or what she wants, never asked to play with at recess, neither her father or Laios asked before sending her to the academy or leaving the village. At home, in the hierarchy she was considered to be below the dogs by the dogs themselves, as someone they can disrespect. Dogs learn from example and behavior, so this means Falin must have been pushed around a lot, and that the family didn’t try hard to rectify the dogs’ misconception, likely worsened by Laios regularly wrestling with her as a competition.

So for example when Falin showed Marcille food, it was her way to implicitly ask to have lunch with her without voicing that question, without daring to take up space. Someone’s presence isn’t something you ask for, it’s something that’s bestowed upon you, you can follow them around but you can’t ask them to stay or to come with.

She’s used to her needs and wants not being listened to, so she’s learned to have less wants. Caring less about herself, caring less about other people beyond her safe zone, was a defense mechanism in part. She has a sense of learned helplessness too, like how when Marcille came to take her away from Laios, even though she didn’t want to leave with Marcille it felt so determined and unshakable to her that whatever Marcille decided Falin would have to comply with.

And still, it’s the "marrying you would be awfully convenient if it wasn’t that I’d feel guilty for not loving you back, the way you wanted me to when you proposed to me" and the "I don’t regret leaving the academy and leaving you behind without goodbyes but I’m sorry that you’re so much more upset about it than me". It’s the guilt of not loving people back the way they want to be, with the same intensity or fervor.

It’s the autism it’s the aroace of it all, it’s the emotional stunting and confusion but the pit in your stomach telling you you did something wrong again. The no object permanence even for people you love even for 4 years, it’s the feeling like you’re somehow at fault for someone having fallen for you and not knowing what to do with any of it. I’m not joking btw it isn’t uncommon for autistic people to not see their close friends for a long while, not having missed them all that much and for that to be really hurtful for the other if they notice/ask about it. "Hiii bestie! Oh umm you’re uh more emotional about this than I expected, hopefully you won’t feel alienated by me not feeling as intensely about it…"

So… Yeah. I think she thinks of things and relationships in a different way than most people, and beyond "good things happening to people is good" I don’t think she actually cares about people all that much. I’d argue that Laios shows more desire to connect with others and make relationships. And just like with Laios and his own issues with humans, that doesn’t mean her kindness is a lie or ungenuine or worthless! It just means that like, well it’s pretty straightforward really, she’s not all that social and doesn’t see casual bonds as meaning all that much and whatnot. She does want to see people happy, but it’s not as much like… A conviction or goal. She’s too laser focused on a select few people. "It’s not that they’re bad people, they just aren’t interested in humans."

And sometimes it feels like people get defensive about Falin in a meta way too, like if you ever so much as imply Marcille isn’t her whole world or that she isn’t the kindest soul out there then you’re saying she doesn’t care at all or she’s evil. And that’s actualy exactly the sort of vibe I wanted to get through with my analysis above here actually haha, that she does care and she is kind but it’s not in a way that’s quantified or understood in a way that makes people feel comfortable. In a way, that makes people feel insecure because they don’t have the same logic as her, don’t show love the same. And I think this is another stellar depiction of autism, of parts of it that feels unpalatable to many, if I’m making sense. The fandom idealizes her as well, which isn’t uncommon or surprising for the character embodying the trope of the perfect beloved to rescue.

And disclaimer, as I said in the tags I feel like the details of Falin are pretty vibe based when it comes to analysis, there’s absolutely a valid angle where she does super care about everyone always, feel free to disagree with me on the overarching angle of my analysis. There’s enough supporting evidence to tip the balance either way I think, and the reason I’ve chosen this angle is I feel it’s more compelling for the themes in Dunmeshi of idealization and being different, of desires vs wants, and because I think it neatly ties up Falin’s character arc as I’ll go over throughout the next section…

So.

Not feeling as much as she should. And……. Is this not Faligon pushed to the max?

You can’t tie down a dragon. As the chimera, she gets to just not care about everyone else and be on her merry way.

Part of it I think is finding comfort and freedom in the mindlessness, in not having the burden of feelings and connections and a consciousness (despite still ending up seeking those in a stranger, Thistle). Like when she’s dead in the purgatory as well, she gets to just… Hang around and do whatever. Similarly to when she played in the forest instead of going to class in her academy days. That’s what freedom and peace of mind looks like to her. Why she decides to roam post-canon, if only now with the goal to find herself instead, with her mind in tow and somewhere to go back home to.

There’s excellent analytic framing out there about how of course, Dungeon Meshi has a big theme of grief and letting go, and… Falin was always a symbol narratively, idealized by characters and often underconsidered by them despite their love. It was Falin’s choice to sacrifice herself for Laios, she thought it was worth it, knowing that it would be her end. Her resurrection and the process of it intertwining her soul with a dragon’s wasn’t done with her consent, and the subsequent opening it gave her to become a chimera puppet. She’s stripped of her agency consistently, and so… It’s very noteworthy that the final choice, of wether to go back to life or to stay dead, in that purgatory scene, was up to her. And she chooses life, but I do think about her in those fields and how at home she seemed there. Peaceful, by herself in a vast calm expanse she could explore, free.

Personally, I think freedom is Falin’s own subconscious selfish desire. And though to us becoming the chimera is obviously a shackle, I think it felt like freedom to her somewhat, too.

And if you think I’m going wildly off the rails here I want to talk about Laios’ wish of becoming a monster. And to be clear before getting into it, being mentally a monster is absolutely a big part of the appeal for Laios, it’s something that’s consistently referred to, something especially pointed out in the werewolf monster tidbit with Lycion. Right panel is from that, but left panel is from the extra with Izutsumi where Lycion talks about suppressing souls in a beastkin body, the human or the beast soul.

Finding comfort and freedom in being mindless, less sentient, less aware? While being unaware in her hometown might have saved Falin a lot of heartache although perhaps stunted her emotional growth, it’s always been Laios’ curse.

Actively, through his choices, he seeks to grow closer to people, to form deeper bonds, to understand and be undertood, but… On a deep seated level, what he desires is to leave humanity and civilization behind. He has an irrational hatred for humans, born from the trauma of ostracization, being different, being beaten up and rejected consistently through his life. Running away from problems is easier. He wants to be free from being a social animal from a social species who has deemed him the black sheep, he thinks it’d be simpler to just leave it all behind, people and his own humanity. At its core, to Laios becoming a monster is a power fantasy, a coping daydream of "if only I could be strong enough to never be hurt again, the power to destroy anything I want, the power to go somewhere better, if only it was possible for me to never feel hurt again. If only I could be someone, something, that can never be hurt". "If there’s someone you don’t like, you can gobble ‘em up in one bite. If you could fly, you’d be able to leave this village right now." It’s a childhood fantasy, from a deep sense of being misplaced and a desire to be able to stand fearless, thinly covering up resentment that Laios represses.

But you’ll notice, when the Winged Lion is enticing him in the last page, even now with his lifelong wish of becoming a monster on a silver plate, he still cares about his friends. He still has that sense of responsibility to his friends, doesn’t want to leave knowing they’ll be in danger and alone. The offer that his friends may be left unharmed is already good, but Laios also visibly flinches when the Winged Lion offers to specifically care after Marcille and rid her of her biggest fear. Laios’ care runs that deep. Not unlike with the succubus, he resists temptation until he gets reassured that everyone will be okay. But see, what he desires isn’t to stand alongside Marcille until her last days, it isn’t to stay and see how well his friends will live, it’s to go. It’s to leave. It’s to fly away, a monster both in body and mind. He wants to be free from caring here, wants to not have to worry about his friends, wants to just go do his own thing, but for that he needs to feel safe in the belief that said friends will be safe even without him being there to see it, because despite everything else he cares, he does. It’s again that dichotomy about caring and wishing you didn’t, or not caring and wishing you did.

In the end, it’s Falin who achieves that wish. Both by becoming a chimera during canon, and by going traveling post-canon. In the latter, being both free of human relationships as something chaining you while still being uplifted by them, by the knowledge that there are people out there you love and that love you. It’s a theme that can also be connected with Marcille, because she gets anxious over people she loves getting out of her sight, worrying they’ll get themselves killed, that time is passing while they’re away from her. But before she can get to the point where she can both have her freedom and being uplifted by her social bonds, regaining both her individuality and her connections, she has to get a taste of just one at a time. Before they can find balance in her life, she has to see what it’s like to have what she’s never had on its own. Unapologetic freedom, and power.

No one can blame you for not caring enough or caring right if you’re a fricking dragon!!!! You make the rules when you’re a beast and you can just… Fly away. From anywhere, from anything. And if a dog bites you you can just crush it. Instead of being pushed around by the dogs because you’re at the bottom of the hierarchy, you’re now at the top, the one with the power to be heard and do what you want without consequences.

I think she’s on autopilot. I think she’s on autopilot a lot of the time, even before being a chimera, and it’s partly why her will is so weak compared to regular dragons. (Again, read my shorter analysis.) It’s familiar to slip back into the role of following someone around unquestioningly. And that’s what is weaponized when she’s a chimera, that instinct she’s been nursing all her life to unconditionally support, defend and follow someone. Only now, that someone doesn’t matter in itself, only the symbol of it. She doesn’t mind, either way is fine. Her will is weak after all, because she’s trained it to take as little place as it could.

Falin cares too much

She spends all her time caring for Laios and Marcille alternating that none of her care and emotional energy is left for others, including herself. So she had to get relieved of all of that for a bit, becoming the chimera so she could reset and recenter and remember that she, too, indeed, is there and an important part of her own life.

So you’re probably seeing the duality I’m talking about here, Falin is very self-sacrificial but for specific people in ways that they often don’t recognize or appreciate. She cares but selectively, both in people, putting all her eggs in the same baskets, and in the ways she cares after them. She doesn’t care a lot, but when she does she cares a lot. Falin doesn't have a lot of earthly attachments, but when she does, they're her world.

In canon her arc, especially post-canon, is to grow beyond Marcille and Laios. Her caring for her close loved ones held her back from looking after her own self-fulfillment needs. And this is what I mean when I say she cares too much; she could gain from caring more about the world besides Laios and Marcille, both lands wise and people wise. She cares too little, but her arc centers her flaw around caring too much instead. Her pitfalls that Kui highlight over the course of the story, while of course her selflessness is appreciated for how she saved Laios and everyone, on a personal level is shown to be self-effacing and damaging. She’s undermined by Marcille, without the courage to voice her thoughts and wants, she would dedicate her whole life to Laios. And I mean, it’s text, in the response to Shuro’s proposal extra no less. And she’s so laser focused on her most loved people that she’s fine with being callous and risking others’ lives, even.

Post-canon, she needs to leave to find herself, away from them.

Herself. What if she wants to just be with herself for a while.

And this is me reaching but I feel like, not unlike Izutsumi who learns to feel this sense of never being alone, always having someone on your side what with having two souls, the dragon in her would make her consider herself more. She finds it easier to care after other people after all, and in the purgatory fields sequence she takes care to bring the bit of dragon left with her… Not unlike with Izutsumi, having two souls forces you to think about your identity and figure yourself out. Besides being this sort of duo now, where if she wants to care after herself she can channel it to that other side of her too… In meta dragons are symbols of greed, and I think the bit of dragon would push her to want more and listen more to her desires, primal and self-serving as they might be. The dragon soul which warped her human body with feathers and draconic features, her image of perfection marred, her weirdness externalized in a way that’s not palatable. But she doesn’t care, about if her appearance is palatable for most people, she hasn’t for a while now, and that’s great.

Notes & nuance

I’m struggling with the structure of this post, making my points organized, concise and strong at once. It’s difficult to make any statement without going "things are generally like this, but there’s this time that this contradicting thing happened too" or "it’s ambiguous enough that you should just follow my interpretation for the time of this analysis" haha, so this is the pit where I put all the stuff that wouldn’t fit well in other places but are interesting for Falin’s character. This section is pretty separate from the main thesis of the post, it’s just more Falin observations. The post has reached the 30 pics limit so I can’t just pull it up whenever it’s relevant but I really encourage scrolling up to read the stuff I highlighted in her Adventurer’s Bible profile if you haven’t already.

I think with the shy-looking loner type autistic kid archetype, and knowing she didn’t seem to mind others ostracizing her, it’s easy to lose sight of how she was by no means an unemotional child. In all the bits we see of her as a kid she’s bursting with energy and emotions. Canon confirms Laios leaving the village did affect her and make her lonely and she cried a lot, too. She may not be social in the traditional sense, but she was clingy with her brother, and she also never was all that shy about who she was, wearing her heart on her sleeve.And okay. Okay okay okay. Speaking of appearances. About what I said of her not caring about what people think of her, even seeming defiant with the caravan leader… There’s one istanxe of her caring actually, and it’s about how her face blushes easily. I remembered it as being because Laios’ said it and as I rambled Laios’ words are her world, but actually it’s ambiguous. It’s only Marcille imagining up this scenario where Laios says Falin looks weird because of it, there’s no evidence Laios said or thought that at any point. And on the other hand…

Her Adventurer’s Bible says: "5, Lovely Skin. She isn't particularly careful with it, but Falin's skin is fair and beautiful. Possibly as a result, her cheeks seem to flush easily. Marcille's always saying she's cute, and she secretly has a sizable complex about it." The phrasing makes me think the complex she has over her blushing might have developed because of Marcille more than Laios. "Marcille's always saying she's cute, and she secretly has a sizable complex about it." It could be related to how Marcille gets swept away and infantilizes her, calling her cute wanting her to wear cute feminine outfits etc. Again this feels like it relates to Falin’s struggle to be seen for who she is and what she wants to be seen as, her struggle to be recognized, having ideals and perspectives pushed onto her. Here Falin is insecure over her blushing implicitly because she doesn’t like being called cute over it, but that’s not how she wants people to see her. She doesn’t want Marcille to always see her as her 10 years old adorable friend. Like if your friend said you had puppy energy, it can be flattering, but it can also make you insecure.

Here’s a link to what I mentioned about her being uncomfortable wearing feminine outfits. It does seem to be more about comfort than the aesthetic perse, to me. Interestingly the shirt & shorts don’t seem like they show much more skin than her beach outfit, so maybe it’s more about the shirt and shorts being tight-fitting. Like the skirts and heels they feel stifling. Again a bit with themes of freedom and not wanting an aesthetic pushed onto her. So yes just to reiterate, I think this is more about self-affirmation and how her identity and self-image gets shown to others, rather than wishing to hide parts of her body like her blushing etc for people pleasing reasons. Makeup was a way for her to appear how she wants to and feel more confident. It was a way to take control over her own image. She didn’t keep doing it, the narrator stating the process to be ‘troublesome’. Ultimately she still prioritizes her comfort, and it was a lot of recurring efforts to go through.

And on the topic of appearances… A friend once asked me: "Does she really hide herself or not? I keep thinking about "falin is herself first and foremost" (in her Adventurer’s Bible profile) it’s just so. Hmmmmmmmm... I just keep seeing people say she hides her real self from people when I feel like the issue is more about her charitable traits straying too far into becoming flaws but people around her dont realize that..."

Imo the thing is, I don’t think she hides her identity, but I do think she suppresses her individuality for others’ sakes if that makes sense. In the way that only post-canon does she allows herself to go see what the world is like, but that’s not personality wise it’s needs and wants wise. And I do feel like that’s the closest interpretation of canon, she says it herself she doesn’t know what she wants because everything she’s done was always about Laios or Marcille, but she doesn’t change her demeanor or personality for others. But she *will* like, not ask for things she wants directly, like sharing lunches with Marcille at the academy, she suppresses her wants, doesn’t ask things from people and doesn’t hope for more, hope for better. I don’t think we ever see her actively repress her personality, except like what, being more laidback than enthusiastic but I do feel like unlike Laios with her it’s less ‘appearing stoic to fit in more’ and more ‘yeah i’ll just chill until I’m needed or something activates my enthusiasm’.

And speaking of passivity… I want to speculate about Shuro’s proposal some more. Shuro and her got along well though we don’t know how much, or how often they hung out, she even saved him from a nightmare. Why did she take so long answering Shuro’s proposal? Was it an effort to preserve or was she really just that conflicted? Procrastination probably yes, but what is the core motivation of itl Considering she ended up saying no to travel the world instead, I don’t think it was as simple as ‘she wanted to say yes for convenience’. Logically it’s what would have been best, but it’s not what she wanted for herself, but it was and still is hard for her to even know what she wants. Probably, since like she states it was a great offer and she doesn’t think she’ll get proposed to again, it’s that self-effacing tendency that yes it’d be convenient and logical, and that makes her want to say yes even if her spirit isn’t in it, because if it’s convenient then that’s more important than her feelings on the matter.

AND speaking of passivity!!! How much Falin is "there" as the chimera, just how much she’s master of her actions, is left ambiguous and intentionally so imo, but she’s for sure there & influencing the dragon’s action to some degree. Having a dragon’s foot on her in purgatory that keeps her from moving for sure visualizes how it must have been like, but there’s Falin calling out to her brother Laios, there’s the kind attentions towards Thistle that are so Falin-like, and most explicitly there’s the Adventurer’s Bible stating "Even after becoming a chimera, she has a soul that's as kind as ever", which I honestly dislike, a fantranslation puts it as "Even as the chimera, her caring nature remains" and either way to me it feels like confirmation that it’s her giving those berries to Thistle. Now, wether or not she has the mental capacity of a chicken or something closer to human Falin, no clue, there has to at least be some kind of mind bond between monsters and the dungeon lord, compelling or forcing them to go along with orders, or calling her to him in distress like with the fight on the first floor. But yes, it’s interesting to wonder what it is that a Falin, with her kind soul but without her human mind, would willingly do. On her profile, she’s described as Thistle’s guardian and servant. The power dynamic between the two are very interesting, I already went into how it might have felt like freedom to her while being fake so I’ll reign myself in and just mention it again. She’s still at the heel of someone, only now it’s someone who doesn’t care about her back. Going from being cared for so strongly that it’s suffocating and they would defy death and the world for you, to being devoted to someone who has not one feeling about you besides your utility as a paw . She has all this care to give and to focus onto others and he has none to send back to her and I think that’s part of it. In a way, being left with only her own feelings and a void, without expectations or feelings or ideals pushed onto her, it might have been soothing in itself, and eye opening. But yes the way I think of it, her care for Thistle isn’t unlike the care she gives the ghosts.

Interestingly, the care she extends for the ghosts is sending their soul to a peaceful death, freeing them, of life and any earthly attachment. Take that as you will with the themes of freedom and burden of life and mind, immortality and becoming a warped version of who you were, and such and such.

But going back on the topic of connections and bonds for a bit, I think academy days Falin & Marcille is super interesting bc we’ve never really see Falin form a connection besides with Marcille and even that is kept pretty ambiguous. When was the point that Falin started seeing Marcille as a friend and seeking her out? When was the "I’ll lay down my life for you" point? I’m so fascinated by how she wanted to share lunches with Marcille but never truly asked, only made little "hey want this? I found it isn’t it cool?" gestures of showing things to her… It’s the only way she knows to ask, or maybe it’s the only way she feels comfortable to. In all the scenes of young Falin and Marcille Falin seems comfortable in her friendship with Marcille, but at the same time… I think we see Falin at her most insecure around Marcille, because she really does care about Marcille and what she thinks of her so much, and while Marcille is a bit of an unstoppable force tornado style (affectionate) Falin is something of a doormat. I’d usually say showing her berries was her earnest way to connect and be like "Hey bestie look at this! :]" , but there’s a real possibility that she was self-conscious and holding herself back.

Friendship and Marcille! Involving Laios into this too but, again with the autism thing of not showing you care in ways that others understand, Marcille being very overtly affectionate and clingy was so so soo important… Marcille keeping on hanging out with Falin and caring after her, and being undeterred/unbothered by Falin not always seeming like she cares all that much back in the conventional way, as in Falin acts nonchalant and a bit like she didn’t mind wether she was there with her or not during her outings to the cave dungeon. Caring and being clingy and so affectionate despite that in such a classic Marcille way is soo needed, because so often people will get discouraged by say, their friend not keeping in contact regularly/well, seeming disaffected or as happy-go-lucky as ever even if you haven’t seen each other in a while or when they’re alone, and yes there’s potential for a strong friendship there but someone like Falin won’t be committed enough to reciprocating attention the same way… I hope I’m making sense but yes this angle in particular strongly correlates to autism. And the way Marcille always initiates physical affection, both Toudens being awkward about initiating touch because they don’t know if that’s allowed, if they’re going about the social interaction the right way, if they’re allowed to ask that out of someone…

Another fun observation to make is about the 4 years Falin and Marcille spent apart. Marcille despite being of a long-lived race treated these 4 years of separation with more gravity than Falin did. Falin brushed it off very dismissively to say the least. But then you remember that the amount of time Falin and Laios didn’t see each other after he left the village was 8 years. Double the years, double the time. And that reminder makes Falin’s actions so starkingly understandable. Of course she wouldn’t see 4 years of separation as a long time if 8 years of separation with her beloved brother is her point of comparison. Of course she’d see it as worth it to leave Marcille for 4 years if it meant ending those 8 years instead, especially if she was worried about him (the reason why she followed him into his caravan job).

A friend always says that while Falin is the center of Marcille’s world, Laios’ is at the center of Falin’s, and I tend to agree.

It’s fun to think of how her career dreams had always been shaped by Laios, even when they were kids. Of course there’s how traveling the world began as a dream they talked about and shared, but there’s how he reassures her by listing cool jobs she could do like traveling exorcist, etc. And then of course, she gave up on her magic academy and career path to follow him and do odd jobs, etc etc.

I should go into the violence of Faligon more tbh, because I think there’s an interesting parallel to how she has no problem wacking things with a mace, wether a ghost when she was a kid or a walking mushroom as an adult. Something that often surprises fans when they remember, I don’t really want to get into the whole " Falin hates violence and hates seeing people in pain to an intense degree. ‘If you die do it somewhere where I can’t see’ style’ interpretation, it has some weight but on the whole I don’t vibe with the theory she has a particular aversion to violence, she seems to be fine resorting to it as much as any other adventurer as long as it isn’t needlessly against ghosts. And Falin’s sudden mace hits are fun to me too because it’s not her becoming a berserker when the need arises as much as her becoming active because something she cares about is threatened, and that brings her out of her passivity from 99% of the rest of the time. Thistle included. Falin always could be violent, she just dislikes senseless carnage. The Shuro party vs chimera fight is a bit ambiguous on it, because you can argue she only attached after being provoked, presumably offscreen as well while the ninjas went off to fight the harpies. Falin becomes the most active when she needs to protect someone, she has no qualms doing whatever’s needed for that, wether it be leaving the academy & Marcille without notice no matter the consequences or what her parents think, or teleporting the party, etc

I’m working on a post specifically pointing out all the differences between Falin and Laios, but yes I think both of them selfishly desire freedom in different yet similar ways. Falin’s dark secret is "Ethics and risks are optional if it means I can protect those I love" like the teleportation, and Laios’ is "Ethics and risks are optional if I can be free of all this bullshit" aka humanity aka his wish with the winged lion.

Conclusion

Tldr: Falin doesn’t care all that much, she’s very go with the flow. For example if someone hates her she doesn’t really care because that’d require her caring about what they think of her in the first place, and she only cares about her loved ones. She smiles, but it’s more a state of being rather than out of active goodness: she’s canonically very genuinely kind, but it’s more out of a general want for pleasantness than active care itself. She’s passive, and softspoken because that’s just how she seems, but she has no problem hopping into bushes or getting heated if something calls to her enthusiasm or calls for action and a hit of the ol’ mace. Her loved ones needing tending or protective is what makes her go from passive to active. That familiar autopilot mode of making someone the center of her world and following their every move is what made her so easy to be controlled as the chimera, even ferociously defending him with her life. Faligon is most interesting to me with the theme of freedom. She’s shackled to Thistle and out of her mind, but there’s also a sense of empowerment and freedom from expectations and society. She spends all her time caring for Laios and Marcille alternating that none of her care and emotional energy is left for others, including herself. So she had to get relieved of all of that for a bit, becoming the chimera so she could reset and recenter and remember that she, too, indeed, is there and an important part of her own life. There’s a way of caring after others that can be selfish, not unlike Marcille being overly coddling and not listening to Falin. In Falin’s case, I think it was so selfless that it ended up looping back around to erasing her sense of self. In losing sight of herself, that devotion becoming neither quite selfish or selfless but a fact of life and a state of nature, muddled by its lack of direction.

She’s sooo used to never being able to ask things out of others, you get the crumbs of affection and approval that others offer to you unprompted and that’s it don’t hope for more don’t ask for more. (Also reflected in how she follows her loved ones around without complain or personal opinions and how she’s not willing to rock the boat and affirm herself in her relationships like with Marcille during canon)

Falin cares so much, so much and so laser focused on her few loved ones that it blinds her and she loses sight of everything else, she ends up neglecting herself and the rest of the world. As Kui puts it, Falin is herself first and foremost. She just had to remember the importance of that.

-

I see her as an enneagram 9, which can be surprisingly accurate and fun to research through the lense of Falin. Excerpt below from this book, but like my god, good way to put it

That’s it, ty for reading. Even if it’s a bit of a mess, hopefully you’ll have gained a thing or two from it. Falin is a character hard to pin down, but it is very gratifying when you find the way that the puzzle pieces fit together right for your own understanding of the story. Fantranslation of the shuro proposal comic by @/thatsmimi here.

Here’s my spotify playlist for her if you’d like

Sometimes love is about letting go, a lesson a lot of the cast needed to learn. Self-love’s important too, and just like with diets we need a healthy balance.

#I find it hard to express myself right on the topic of Falin. Both because the issue is pretty vibe based and because we don’t #get that many moments with her. So there’s ambiguous scenes up to interpretation addressing a layered topic and like. Save me. Save me #As always falling down the rabbithole of starting an analysis about a specific facet and then needing to explain everything else around it #I’m doomed. I’m getting lost in the sauce. #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #falin touden #analysis #character analysis #meta #autistic reading #aroace reading as well. Sort of. It’s mentioned #The aroace autistic guilt of not caring back in the way/with the intensity you’re expected to #As always this is just my interpretation blablabla #Spoilers #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #She loves like a dog aka unconditionally and happy with eating scraps of affection and attention off the floor #Laios touden #he’s here too bc they are an unit #If you’re not capitalizing on the uncanny vibe autistic effect for Falin’s character u are missing an opportunity imo #Fairy’s child is written all over her. Her cryptic-ness is the point so why am I surprised she’s hard to fully pin down #Even with the graveyard scene it was Falin following Laios… Sob. Laios could feel responsible her powers were found out #I’d like to rework this at some point if i get better at structuring. I’m not satisfied by the level of clarity #Will 90% for sure edit stuff in if i find more to say. #Fumi rambles #Crazy style

[serene-dipity]

ASTROLOGY OBSERVATIONS ! ( TROPICAL + SIDEREAL ) (i)

important information. masterlist. find me.

important note: when i say beauty indicator, fame indicator etc, i don't mean that just because you have that placement you'll have said thing. your efforts in real life are more telling of your future than a chart. only when you are in alignment with the universe that you will be able to achieve your true potential. feedback is welcomed and appreciated! have fun <3

SIDEREAL OBSERVATIONS !

— moon in 2nd house people usually pursue their career in a field different from what they were taught in their younger years.

— saturn dominant people should never start their own work or stand in places of leadership. saturn is the hard-worker; i do not mean to put saturn-ruled people down, but it's a matter of what you can do best. and saturn dominant people are best with executing the orders that are passed to them in a precise and calculated manner.

— on the other hand, sun dominant people should enhance the energy and strength of their sun by adopting more and more positions of leadership, because they are simple meant for the stage!

— rahu dominant people can NEVER get along with sun dominant people and this is a fact! the sun person will always find the rahu person's addictions to be extremely infuriating.

also, since the sun is a planet which is easily polluted, it is better for sun dominant people to avoid close relationships with rahu dominant people.

— anuradha people are very spiritual! i think many of them can also be huge radha devotees since (anuradha = anu + radha = after radha)

— mercury dominant people will almost always want to be around someone, or want to have a sidekick, or somebody who stays with them. this is due to mercury's nature as a child; and a child never wants to stay alone.

— mercury dominant people should always be friends with their resident sun doms because the sun person encourages the mercury person to have a fixed identity and helps them to adopt sincerity. sun dominant people dislike being copied, or copying anyone else, and they encourage this behaviour in the people they are close to!

— venus dominance in itself is a huge indicator of fame, wealth and success. not to say that venus guarantees anything on its own, but if it is in good dignity, or favourable to a venus dominant person, then said person goes a long way in life!

— rahu nakshatra people can be very gullible at times! rahu people should work on strengthening their sun because otherwise their rahu placements are going to make them spend their whole life in delusions. sun stabilises the rahu energy and ensures that the native does not get too carried away.

TROPICAL OBSERVATIONS !

— cancer placements are so hated here, oh my god? if any of you were even slightly aware, then cancer is not actually just all about mother, baby, crying, emotions and soft uwu culture;

cancer is the first water sign! this is the sign where the understanding of the true nature of the world first begins to set in. this is the sign which provides emotional insight and the pathway to the universe. cancer is where the dust begins the settles down after fire's recklessness, earth's desire and air's light-heartedness.

— taurus placements have long necks! they should definitely try necklaces and jewels on themselves!

— please stop sexualising every scorpio placement, scorpio is not just about sex, even though its transformative nature is closely bonded with it.

scorpio also highlights wisdom and the maturity to stand up and fight. coupled with plutonian energy, scorpio people never give up easily! due to this, they are also often very understanding people. that is, if they take the struggle they face positively.

— leo and sagittarius people attract blessings when they have fun! these are the type of people to manifest accidentally, so be careful with what you say, even when you're just doing it for fun guys!

— aries moon people are actually very pretty! i mean, personal opinion tbh, whatever you guys think goes. beauty is subjective, anyways.

— if you have mars, mercury, saturn or moon in 3rd house, coupled with an afflicted moon, then it's going to be impossible to focus on one thing. stability is extremely hard to achieve and retain.

— the planets and signs in your third house are telling of younger sibling, and the planets and signs in your eleventh house is telling of your elder siblings!

— if many of your placements fall into your 3rd/11th house, then you have important karma with your siblings. never ignore them, and always nurture them, no matter however hard it is. better clear the karma out before it strikes you way harder in the future!

— people who have a lot of 2nd house placements should always be careful with what they speak.

#astrology #astro observations #astro notes #vedic astro notes #astrology observations #astrology tumblr #appearance astrology #astroblr #sidereal astrology #vedic astro observations #vedic astrology #astro community #astrology placements #astro posts #astrology readings #astrology synastry #nakshatras #tropical astrology

[r0-boat]

Helloooooo, it's me again uwu

I have another spicy thirsty headcanon to request if is possible~✨

So, how would the 5 kings (if belphegor is possible also him, because that teaser we have of him has gotten me go all feral to see his whole design!!!) react when they're having they're sexy time with MC (she/her if it's possible, if not they/them is ok uwu), and she starts undressing so she's wearing lingerie.

Thank youuuu if you respond my request :3 ✨❤️✨❤️

Hey welcome back!

Head cannon's coming right up

Five kings + belphegor reaction to MC with lingerie!!

Nsfw

Satan

*Heavy breathing*

It almost feels like his red eyes are staring into your soul His breath deep and shaky, You feel like a steak being tossed too a hungry carnivore as he stalks toward you. Satan looks at you up and down drinking the way the lace hugs against your body. When he grabs you it's gently at firm pulling toward his chest, He purrs against your ear kissing your neck you could feel his other hand going underneath and playing with the thin lace. "Hey gorgeous? That all for me?" You give him a nod and he just chuckles "Good." before throwing you onto the bed and ripping it off like an animal and mounting you right then and there.

Lingerie would never last with Satan expensive to cheap he doesn't give a fuck if he sees pretty things on you that shit's going on the floor in tatters. There's something so appealing about that. Seeing you in such pretty clothes just to rip them off of you and take you like an animal.

Mammon

Buying you things to wear seriously has never occurred to him until now. One of the only times you caught him off guard is when you undressed yourself and his eyes went wide. On the inside his mind exploded. It was like you opened up a new way to flaunt his wealth, a new way for you to me more irresistible than you already are. A new way to fuck you.

When the initial stock was over he gave you that shit eating grin "Wooow Master you spoil me." to you It didn't look like much. But in reality you have him addicted.

Now all he wants you to wear is pretty little lingerie that he buys you. He wants you to be in nothing but that lingerie.

Leviathan

His eyes light up, His breath hitching. He tries not to let it show how much it is affecting him. "Have you shown this to anyone else?" You shake your head, and he smiles. "Good, clothes like this should be for my eyes only."

He takes it from you of. This should be a special treat for only him. And he does not trust you to not wear it in front of only him. So he will confiscate this from you for now, And then the next time you visit, he will give it to you to put on.

He was almost jealous of how good you looked in it almost. It was hard to focus. With the thought that you are wearing this just for him. All that rushed straight to his cock.

Beelzebub

You look so pretty. All he wants to do is miss you up. Make you look like a cum drunk whore, He loves when you dress up like his personal fuck toy, because then he'll fully treat you like one. All you need to do is dull yourself up for your king from now on and he'll fuck you till you forget your own name.

All he can think about is you in that messed up little piece of cloth soaked in cum. Bonus points if you wear delicious perfume. He can't keep his hands off you.

You look like a wrapped little gift, All he needs now is to open that gift. He likes pulling at it when he's fucking you hard.

Lucifer

Fuck, You look so cute; you're so irresistible. He could hardly stand it. "Come here, come closer." He grows patting his lap, inviting you to take a seat. As you sit down you can feel how hard he is for you. But he doesn't fuck you.

Instead Lucifer is eyeing you up and down his fingers trailing across your bare body and the lace. He plays with it slides his hand beneath it. Murmuring about how beautiful you look.

His breath tickles your ear "You know it's dangerous to go out wearing something like this, if you aren't too careful a devil could snatch you up and do a horrible things to you"

His hand starts to dip between your inner thighs. "Are you going to be good and give me what I want?"

Belphegor(speculation)

To be honest he would rather you be in nothing but lingerie or anything without underwear. Easy access and all that.

He would love it if you are his little pocket pussy so he could put his cock between those nice thighs of yours. He likes the feeling of his bare wet cock sliding against the lace that's soaked in your juices.

He would inspect you play with the cloth and grope you. He prefers when it's tight around you So it looks more like bondage.

#smut #whb #what in hell is bad #what in “hell” is bad? #whb x reader #wihib #wihib x reader #whb headcanons

[lancermylove]

Kind MC (HC)

Fandom: Obey Me

Pairing: Demon Brother x fem!Reader, platonic.

Warning: None

Requested by: @annih

Prompt: Hello! Can I request some HC for Obey Me? How would each of the demon brothers react to a Fem!MC who is...just THAT forgiving? Like, she's too kind, too patient and too forgiving. She even forgive Belphegor faster than anyone anticipated. Also, the thing is, this trait leads MC to be more naive and trusting as she think that everyone else share the same nature and good intentions as they does. But it didn't render MC TOO dumb. She would still listen if someone's danger. My kind mc obey me request can you make MC be in a plantonic relationship with everyone?

A/N: Angel MC. 🤭 Hope you like it!

———————————————

Lucifer

Initially, Lucifer is a bit irritated with your overly forgiving nature. He is worried that your kindness might make you an easy target in Devildom.

At times, he also gets frustrated by your naivety but is fascinated by your unwavering ability to see the good in everyone. This makes him become very protective of you.

Even though he knows you won't fully listen, Lucifer still advises caution and reminds you that not everyone has a pure heart or intentions.

Over time, he starts to admire your patience and kind-heartedness. It's not often that such angelic beings come to Devildom, so to have one in the House of Lamentation is a breath of fresh air.

He won't ever tell you, but Lucifer is worried that you might actually fall into the trap of a malicious demon someday. But he already has a plan prepared in case that happens.

Mammon

Mammon is amused and baffled by your overly forgiving nature. While he finds your kindness endearing, he worries that demons will try to take advantage of you. The second brother has done it, but nothing too extreme; he just took something from you without your permission and never returned it. But...if you find out, you will forgive him, so Mammon isn't too worried.

Yes, he realizes that he is taking advantage of your kindness, and this is why he is worried about strangers being around you.

Sometimes, Mammon teases you for being so trusting, but behind that teasing is his concern for your safety. Due to this, he gets fiercely protective of you and always keeps a close eye on you when you interact with others.

Out of everyone, Mammon understands your kind nature more than anyone. But that doesn't stop him from being cautious and stepping in when things are about to go downhill.

Levi

Levi is puzzled and somewhat skeptical of your overly forgiving nature. It isn't often that such kindness is visible in Devildom, so at times, he has to wonder if you are really like that or if there is a hidden face behind your angelic nature.

When he sees you trusting others easily, he becomes anxious. His own insecurities and distrust in others make it hard for him to even believe a word they say, so to see you trust strangers readily is nerve-wracking.

Like his brothers, Levi worries that your trusting and sweet nature will land you in deep waters. At times, he tries to tell you about the dangers of Devildom, but nothing seems to work, so he eventually gives up and lets you do what you want.

However, in secret, Levi admires your kindness. This sometimes leads to him wanting to trust others, but other times, he questions his own values and behavior.

Overall, the third brother is most concerned about not being able to protect you from harm if he ever needs to.

Satan

Satan doesn't know what to make of your nature in the beginning. He finds your angelic behavior bewildering; how exactly are you able to forgive someone who purposely tried to hurt you? The fourth brother can't understand your thought process.

At the same time, he finds your kindness refreshing. His brothers have seen genuine kindness in the Celestial Realm, but he never got to experience it. But after meeting you, Satan can truly say that he knows what pure angels are like. Sometimes, he wonders if the Celestial Realm sent an angel - you - disguised as a human to keep an eye on them.

There are times when he struggles to keep his calm when you forgive certain demons who have hurt you or don't deserve your forgiveness. Moreover, when he hears you say that kindness is contagious, he wants to shake you by your shoulders and yell at you that you live among demons, but Satan doesn't want to scare you, so he refrains from acting on his thoughts.

Satan knows for sure that you will get hurt and be manipulated by the demons in Devildom, and while he will do everything in his power to protect you, he thinks it's better if you learn certain lessons by yourself.

Asmo

The fifth brother is completely and utterly charmed by your overly forgiving nature. He can't get enough of your sweetness and kindness.

Unlike the others, he is not too concerned about your naivety and thinks your innocent charm and trusting nature are enough to melt even the cold hearts of demons. Well, for the most part.

Asmo is just as protective of you as his brothers. He knows that demons are capable of being evil to the core, and no amount of kindness will cut through their darkness.

Overall, he loves your sweet nature and showers you with endless compliments, but Asmo is deeply worried that you will someday experience something that will break your pure heart forever.

Beel

He is immediately drawn to your kind and forgiving nature and finds your warmth comforting. Beel truly admires your ability to see the good in others.

Unlike his brothers, he is not focused on your safety; rather, Beel views your personality as a refreshing change to the usual darkness of Devildom. Honestly, it reminds him of his time in the Celestial Realm. If Lilith had been still with them, he is sure that the two of you would have gotten along very well.

Saying that, if a demon tries to hurt you or take advantage of your kindness, the sixth brother will act as your shield. No one will harm you while he is around.

He is the only brother who doesn't stop you from being kind, not even to the demons who don't deserve your kindness.

Belphie

In the beginning, Belphie finds your overly kind nature annoying and bewildering. He still doesn't understand how you forgave a demon who purposely insulted you in the worst way possible. If you hadn't stopped him, Belphie would have torn the demon to shreds.

But when he sees how your kindness has positively influenced those around him, Belphie's cynical outlook begins to soften. He isn't as irritated and even tries to be nicer to others.

Despite this, the youngest brother can't forgive anyone who tries to hurt or manipulate you.

Belphie truly hopes that the darkness in Devildom will not affect your pureness in any way. He knows through firsthand experience that one little moment is enough to destroy everything and change people. And Belphie hopes you never have to go through that pain.

———————————————

➣ Obey Me Masterlist: [1][2][3] ➣ Main Masterlist

#obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me levi #obey me leviathan #obey me asmo #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me beel #obey me satan #obey me belphie #obey me belphegor

[amourtoken]

Slut thoughts slut thoughts slut thoughts goddddddd

More toxic mentor Ruffilo x apprentice reader thoughts? This one's a little shorter but I'm planning to add to it as more thoughts appear.

*NSFW below the cut, MDNI*

cw: Age gaps (legal, but possibly controversial? They're mentioned.), toxic Nicky, branding, exhibitionism, glove kink ig, he's a dick, raw sex (wrap it up bitch), oral (m receiving), love/hate (it's rlly love/love but shhhh that's a secret), Noah is here! (Nick is a cunt), degradation, dacryphilia, pining

♡ Nicholas loves that he's got a few years on you, it really accentuates the whole mentor/apprentice relationship and he always pulls the "I'm older than you so I know what's good for you" card when you whine about things

♡ now that you've apprenticed under him a few months and he's got you melded into the perfect little cock sleeve, he's gotten a bit sloppy. Leaving hickeys just above where your shirt could cover and being just a little too touchy around the other shop guys.

♡ this normally wouldn't cause issues around anyone else however need I remind you your literal father is his boss and would skin him if he found out he so much as laid a finger on you in his dreams. That being said, Nicky didn't double check the schedule before deciding he was gonna have you on your knees. Who walks in unannounced? His boss.

♡ Luckily Nicholas' desk faced in such a way you couldn't see anything underneath unless you were literally in his chair, which spared you for the moment. To keep you quiet he used the hand buried in your hair to push your head entirely down between his legs, his cock filling your throat and making your eyes water pathetically. At this point he wasn't even truly doing it to keep you quiet or keep you hidden, he was doing it for his own enjoyment. Once his painfully long conversation ended and the room was clear, he pulled you off his cock and laughed at how messy you looked. (Asshole!!!! I fucking need to fuck him so bad hate him!!!)

♡ he made you get a tattoo of his initials after your "6 month anniversary" of being his apprentice. He said he wanted to brand you so everyone knows who trained you so well (this mf is not talking abt the tattooing I promise lmao). So now you have a pretty "NR" on your hip bone just barely low enough to be covered up by your clothing. He gets achingly hard whenever he remembers it's there.

♡ he claims you get on his nerves and swears up and down that he's definitely fucking other people cause he could "never date a random college airhead" (he's not, it's a lie, don't believe him lol) when he's talking to the other guys at the shop but if any of them so much as look at you in passing he has to actively restrain himself from jumping down their throat.

♡ speaking of this possessiveness, Nicholas ended up staying late at the shop one evening conveniently at the same time the new piercer Noah was there. Noah thought you were fucking gorgeous and had full intentions on asking if you had any plans this weekend so that you two could maybe hang out, unfortunately this plan was canceled cause Nicholas had you laid back on his tattoo chair split on his cock. He knew you two weren't alone, and made zero effort to keep you quiet, in fact he was encouraging the noise.

"Louder, can't fuckin' hear you- tell me how good this dick makes you feel"

"Bet I've ruined you for everybody else."

"Awe, are you crying? So fuckin' needy you're really crying for some cock?"

♡ afterwards he walked past Noah like literally nothing had happened even though minutes before he had you making sounds anyone else would've called 911 over. Safe to say poor thing didn't get his date.

♡ Nicholas loves playing with you while he's wearing his black latex gloves, he thinks you look pretty when his gloved fingers are forced down your throat and he's basically trained you to find them arousing cause he does it so often. He'll squish your cheeks in one hand before telling you to open your mouth so you can suck his fingers like you would his dick. (He literally stares at you like you hung the moon during this but God forbid he says he CARES ABOUT YOU)

#nicholas ruffilo #Nicholas ruffilo smut #GodddDSDD

[blade-that-was-broken]

In I’m Still Here, how does brotherly bonding go?

I assume that for branch and JD it would be more fun and maybe even easy for them than it would anyone else.

But how would everyone else fair with each other?

Okay so… I did have a mini series sequel that I partially planned but with my burn out I’m not sure if I’m going to write it. Hopefully but unclear.

Floyd and JD are still into music. Since Floyd straight up stays in Pop Village to help out with JD, they spend a fair amount of time with each other, especially in the beginning times. Floyd gets to see some of the songs he's written over the years (even the secret notebook with all of the sad songs...). Since Floyd spends more time with him, he gets to see a bit more of the memories JD and Branch have, hearing stories, seeing the things John made, even things about other troll tribes, etc. etc. Although Floyd knows about the other types of trolls, he doesn't really know anything about the tribes themselves so hearing about their music and culture IN their territory is interesting. They eventually write some songs together too as well as JD tries to teach him a thing or two; perhaps about wood carving or knitting or something.

JD and Bruce are dads in their own right. And parents... they really love talking about their kids. And since Bruce has recognized that JD came back and intentionally started parenting Branch at a young age, he has no qualms about calling it out and talking about it. It takes a while for JD to actually talk about it with Bruce because he does not want to put Branch in that position - although Bruce gets into the position of knowing how both JD and Branch feel and is sworn to secrecy about it from the both of them - but it happens. JD and Bruce talk a lot about Branch and Bruce's kids, things they did, dumb things they did, etc. etc. JD doesn't really talk about the time after what happened when he thought Branch was dead, although he's said a few things, completely off the topic of Branch in that instance (about the other trolls he's met, his life in Lonesome Flatts, etc.) but it's often very specific with no room for talking about anything else. They also cook. Bruce owns a restaurant; JD is resourceful and a pretty good cook himself, so they talk about recipes and food sometimes. When JD gets better, they cook together a bit. Bruce also teaches him to surf. JD might teach him something in return but I'm not sure what yet.

JD also makes little funky blankets and carved figures for all of Bruce's kids. He's got a lot of time on his hands doing nothing while recovering from both the talent draining and the physical injuries.

Clay and JD... this is hard. For a while after everything that happens, Clay straight up avoids John. He has come to the very real realization that he has such a hard time remembering good memories and he's ashamed of it. He is still angry and he has no idea what to do with it. Now granted, he's not JUST angry at John, he's just so angry and he has no idea how to deal with that and he's got some feelings about it.

Moment to Be Real was a WHOLE rollercoaster of emotions for everyone - but especially Clay - when it came to their relationship and history. And with the whole thinking he's dead and then him not being dead but then almost dying again and now JD has to go through a heck ton of recovery... it's just a whole thing.

So, it takes a bit for Clay to even... like have any talk with John. He's got a lot of feelings and not all of them are just him being angry AT John, either. Eventually, however, they do talk and they do start to try and rebuild memories and faith in one another. Surprisingly, Clay learns a lot of outside survival skills from him. One wouldn't think he'd be interested but considering their history, it just kind of becomes a thing. Clay isn't super outdoorsy in the way that JD and Branch are and a lot of his survivalist stuff is within the confines of the Golf Course, but JD teaches him some things. At first it's kind of accidental, little things and comments. It takes Clay a while to really wrap his head around the fact that JD isn't really being critical; he's just kind of telling Clay how things worked for him/what he's figured out over the years. And JD isn't... he's not the best when it comes to socialization and Clay figures that out. He's a smart cookie... when he doesn't have anger and bias clouding his judgement.

Otherwise, John does take up reading while he's recovering, since it's one of the few things he CAN do and since Branch and Poppy both like to read, he's got material. Eventually, he joins Clay's book club, although was a little taken back by the whole more "hugging and crying" rather than actually reading. He takes things a bit literally sometimes. The two of them become surprisingly close, but it takes a while since they both have a lot of time to get through, issues, feelings and understandings of one another.

#ask #I'm still here au #I still want to write the mini? series one of these days #i mean the holiday special #the second one cause i don't really care as much for the first

[ganondoodle]

I just wanna say firstly that i adore your artwork and takes6on Zelda in general! Secondly, much as I wish you never had to deal with the frustrations of creating (especially when you tack on the stress of being on any kind of social platform), I'm glad you talk about your struggle. I've heard people talk about art block every day since I learned what Art was, but nobody ever mentioned "painting oneself into a corner". It's such an apt description that is so infuriatingly relatable that I had to stop eating to thank you for putting it into words. I really appreciate that you're willing to talk about your setbacks in a place like Tumblr, and still share your arts and thoughts. All the best from US of hellscape A, i hope you're doing well.

Thank you!

i used to call it artblock as well, its the most normalized term i guess; i randomly started calling it painting myself into a corner when i got stuck or frustrated on a painting bc welll, it sure feels like it, you painted the walls all around you and dont know how to get out now

it usually happens when i stop having fun and just draw what i want and instead keep subconsciously forcing myself into arbitrary rules; in my case its usually trying to be too perfect, i try to adhere to the sketch, i try to make every block of color have a perfectly clean edge, separate the drawing into way too many layers and am afraid to delete or erase anything, i tense up my whole body as frustration builds bc of impatience as this method of painting does not work for me at all and in the end lose motivation on it all and my nerves are stretched thin (i work best when i think as little as possible, just kinda loosely letting my hand do what it wants on few layers and no specific plan, after losing that its hard to get it back)

having those low moments with your art is normal as your skill grows, but even knowing so, and having gone through it countless times, it never stops making you feel like shit, and its especially frustrating when it happens when you just got enough time to work on stuff or have alot of ideas but you cant get it to work

(and funnily enough it also tends to happen after another work of mine got more attention than i thought .. even worse when it was just a sketch bc now i got the pressure on me to actually finish it and the fear of it doing worse once done looms over the whole thing- which doesnt mean i dont want people to interact with my wips, bc that also has an extremely demotivating factor to it bc it makes me think no one cares or it sucks and doesnt deserve the time i would need to spend on finishing it; also .. alot of my wips stay wips forever, which is fine, but like .. you cant always expect a finished tm version to happen)

i do find it a little funny you praise me for talking openly about it bc i am notoriously unable to shut up ever and only recently got better at NOT talking as much about it when i feel as shitty as this bc it doesnt really help anyone and gets annoying really fast xD (im also notoriously unable to not post absolutely everything bc i got no one to show it to and otherwise it will just collect dust on my harddrive so i might as well throw it out there no matter how much i might hate it, someone else might still enjoy it anyway)

and greetings back from the -not really much less of a hellscape- that is germany o/

#ganondoodles answers #currently sinking deeper into that corner lol #been trying to draw the ancient rito guy and based it on those cool looking fruit doves #but forgot its kinda dumb from a color perspective bc its largely green ....... like the damn stone .......... #also been doing the ... all the things i mentioned above that make me feel this frustrated depressed kinda thing #i just WANT TO DRAW LET ME DRAW THERES SO MCUH TO DRAW ARGH

[gipsyjr]

ok please tell me someone also realized this too in FMA

Hohenheim. we all know him. we all love/hate him. bro has HALF A MILLION souls in him in canon. he BEFRIENDED THEM ALL. someone on ao3 referred to it as his unmoderated discord channel and I agree. its practically a twitch chat at that point.

ok but my point is. he has kids. two. two kids. how does one make kids? good o' bedroom action.

THINK ABOUT IT. he did the deed TWICE with over half a million souls watching him. I am speechless. this man. this guy. I can't.

[EDIT: WHERE DID YOU ALL COME FROM??? THANK YOU?!]

#fma #fma brotherhood #fma manga #van hohenheim #edward elric #alphonse elric #elric brothers #funny #humor #im dead #im going insane #does anyone else think too hard about these things?

[grey-has-rusted]

^me when i am a sensitive person

#ramblings #i hate feeling lonely #it literally hurts my heart #i have such a hard time forming connections both irl and online #idk how many times ive cried just this past month bc i felt lonely #and even when i am included in things im always an after thought #its been months but im still thinking about stupid christmas #i know the whole point isn't to get gifts #but i got one present. while i spent hundreds of dollars getting my family gifts #they even asked me what i wanted too #helped my cousin decorate for her christmas party and last minute i found out it was a secret santa #i got invited but was the only one not included in that #so yeah.... #i dont have anyone to celebrate holidays with #my birthday was sad #i cried then too #not looking forward to tomorrow either #and i try to make friends and talk to people #but i feel as though i always initiate #and nobody seems interested in talking to me #which... i dont expect everyone to like me #but it really does hurt and it makes wonder what's wrong with me #also why cant my brain focus on something else #like doing something productive #its been ages since ive drawn anything #ive just been sad. that's the whole post. #bye now

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#it's an old frustration. an old pattern of thought. #i just feel that i have a brain that doesn't hold information. that lacks the discipline to gain knowledge. that is incapable of deeper #thought. and i cant teel you how maddening that is. to sit in a room and listen to other people discuss a paper you read in depth 5 times #like it's the 1st time you ever heard anything about it. how is that possible? how do i work with that? i read and nothing sticks. #nothing stays with me. how??? i was talking to a prof recently who ive heard is hard on her students with disability accommodation. and she #was saying how she doesnt see these things as a disability. how we're just different not disabled. ive heard the phrase differently abled #a lot of times. and i get what she's saying. i do. ad i get why she's hard on them. she wants to push them. but there comes a point where #you are quote unquote differently abled and you run into a wall that other people dont have. then what are you supposed to do? work harder? #but what if that doesn't help? what if that just compounds the hurt that's always been there? what if that leaches away all the wonder? what #then? at what point does a thing become too much of a barrier? i think there's a reason i dont run into many other dyslexic grad student. #everyone has adhd. it's a place where those with adhd prosper. but dyslexia not so much. at least not with the level of hanicap i have #and everyone's really nice. they want to help. but there's nothing anyone can do for me at this stage. it's up to me to compensate for my #leaky head. and i kno im not stupid. ive got a piece of paper stating my iq is above average after correcting for uneven intelligence. but #i dont feel very smart most of the time. i feel more like my uncorrected iq score that comes out at just below average even with me trying #my very best. iq is bullshit but there's something to be said for that gap. im smart if unconstrained by language and time. but were bound #by language and we're bound by time so what am i supposed to do? is there anything i can do? im stuck with this forever. theres no getting #better or making it easier. my brain is wired in a way that gives me the reading skills of a child. forever. and i just have to accept that #and im trying to swallow around that idea easier because the only other option is to choke on it. but maybe i chose the wrong career path. #one of my lab mates said she wants challenges all the time and ive chosen a path that's challenges all the time but im jsut trying to do #what everyone else can without a second thought. it's deeply demoralizing. yet here i am. trying to be easier abt it. #maybe im just nit cut out for this. doing a job im not built for. #unrelated

[leafy-m]

My stupid story is 20k now how I do make it stop 😵

#Every time I read through to edit I end up adding another scene this is so fuckin embarrassing #It's not even in chapters it's just one massive thing #The beginning is bad though I have to figure out how to rewrite that but lmao a fixed version with dialogue will be another 2k aha ha ha #There's one long scene I could remove and make that it's own one shot but also god how about I Don't #I'll probably end up deleting it because it's just. Too much. Compared to everything else. But also. What if I didn't? 🤷‍♀️ #I think what's hilarious is that I had Plans. About Themes. And Character Studies. And Comparisons #And idk if it's even really in there and visible and not just 20k of 'what if I just wrote the most indulgent shit for me specifically' #And then ended it with an emotional slap to the face because I love building things up and then tearing it apart #(and it does that really well; I'm giggling into my hands - I'm dancing on my own grave) #I've cried so many times during this stupid fic #*deletes other comment* #Anyway my OTHER fic that I also indulgently love and is way too long and made me cry way too hard every fuckin scene #Does not make me cry anymore and idk if I broke it somehow in the editing or if I'm just immune to its devastation now #Honestly concerned that when I post these I'll be like 'meh; it's just ok' and then anyone who reads it is like ☠️☠️☠️☠️ #Hehehehe #Ok I'm done

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

♪♪♪!!!!!

OK U SENT ME 3 SO U GET 3 DIFFERENT ONES FOR FUNSIES

Animal - Magnolia Park

"Swear to God, I'm God, a reincarnate of a fuckin' demon"

Morior Invictus - Belly of the Steel Beast

"Witness me, friend,

I am awaiting

On thundrous hooves, I charge into

The valley of death"

ok the next song was Heartache from Undertale which doesnt have lyrics. and the one after that was I Am Not A Moron from portal 2. so. skipping those but u get the vibe

Secular Haze - Tub Ring

"Weave us a mist,

Fog Weaver

Hide us in shadows

Unfathomable wall-less maze,

A secular haze"

#love that morior invictus is here bc its actually from that podcast red valley #which???? im pretty sure you recommended to me hdgdjsb!!!!! fucking love that song #its so. gillion tidestrider. to me. not necessarily the lyrics but i think he would listen to music like that #I CANT TELL YOU WHY YET BUT SECULAR HAZE IS SUCH A WIWI SONG TO ME. DONT THINK TOO HARD ABOUT IT . YOULL UNDERSTAND EVENTUALLY #its one of those things that will not make snese anyway until the thing happens. #because my brain works the way it does and makes insane connections that dont make sense to anyone else but me 90% of the yime #just know. wiwi song. #asks #friends!!! #intertexts #lyric game