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leclercsainzz · 6 months

Text

ILLICIT AFFAIRS PART 2

PAIRINGS: lando norris x gf!reader / tom blyth x fem!reader

TYPE: social media au

WARNING: // cheating implied

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5

yourusername

liked by landonorris, tomblyth and 671,810 others

yourusername: the film is out! ❤️

tagged: @tomblyth

view 5,018 comments

user: seeing it tonight!!!

user: ya’ll see that kiss or??? 👀

oscarpiastri: do i still get those free tickets? 🤔

↳ yourusername: of course!

↳ landonorris: and me?

↳ oscarpiastri: you’re rich, shut up

user: wonder how @landonorris felt seeing his girlfriend kissing another guy like that

user: watched the movie last night and OMG

user: yn, do you prefer buzz cut or long hair on coriolanus?

↳ yourusername: buzz cut all the way!!!!!

↳ user: mother knows what’s up 😌

user: LOVED the movie!!

tomblyth: you’re truly phenomenal! ❤️

↳ yourusername: right back at you, my love ❤️

↳ user: STFU NSPAKSNDBFD

↳ user: @landonorris WHERE U AT, BRO???

user: “love” 😭😭😭😭

↳ user: not just “love” but “MY love” like?? 😭😭

user: watching it tomorrow, cannot wait!

user: her bf is stronger than me bc i would��ve been crying

user: DID YA’LL SEE THE KISS SCENE??? 🫣🫣🫣

↳ user: i was like 😮‍💨

↳ user: he kissed her like she was air 🫠 like the air he needs

user: the way tom’s looking at her in that third slide 😩😩

user: you both killed it, omg!!

↳ user: pov coryo took that personal 🤪

user: SNOW LANDS ON TOP, MF!

↳ user: on top of me, yes!

landonorris: you killed it, pretty girl ❤️

↳ yourusername: 😊

user: the difference between her responds to tom vs lando

↳ user: she’s over here calling tom “my love” while lando just gets some bs of emoji, i CANNOT 💀

user: lando be fighting for his girl’s affection, i swear

user: yn with tom 😩🥰🥰❤️😊😍😌😍😘🥵🥵😍🥰

↳ user: vs yn with lando 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

↳ user: i feel like she’s definitely in love with tom

↳ user: he’s also in love with her, its so obvious

user: tom NEEDED that kiss in order to breathe, i swear

↳ user: dude he kissed her with so much hunger and desperation had me giggling the whole time

↳ user: convinced that was just tom and yn

user: HAPPY RELEASE DAY YA’LL!!! ❤️❤️🐍

user: you and tom were truly phenomenal as snow and lucy

↳ yourusername: ❤️❤️

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 698,974 others

landonorris: fun times with MY girl! 😘

tagged: @yourusername

view 5,274 comments

user: he really said, “my girl”

user: is she attending next race??

user: he saw all the yntom shippers so he had to shut them up real quick, honestly as he should!

user: PARENTS ARE BETTER THAN EVER ❤️❤️❤️❤️

user: what about tom? 😭😭 @yourusername

↳ user: girl, bffr

user: idc i’m still shipping yn and tom

user: lando said, “everyone can sit tf down bc she’s my girl”

yourusername: love yaa 😘

↳ landonorris: i love you too ❤️

↳ user: yntom shippers how we feeling??? 😭😭

user: idk why but her comments/replies to lando seem so dry??? like before she’d say the cutest shit ever and now it’s like she just comments bc she has no other choice

↳ user: seems like she’s falling out of love to me

user: @tomblyth GET YOUR GIRL, DONT GIVE UP

user: everyone who is constantly shipping yn and tom need to move on!! she’s literally happy in her relationship with lando

user: are they officially back together??

user: @tomblyth

user: she’s soo beautiful!!! 😍😍

user: lando really said, “if she’s anybody’s girl she’s MINE”

user: ynlando nation rise!!!!!

user: i know she’s clearly happy with lando but her and tom are honestly just the cutest

user: @ everyone who still ships tom and yn

user: not “my” but “MY” 👀

user: he got tired of ppl shipping his girl with someone else

user: mate, you’re stronger than bc the way yn talks about tom is just INSANE! she’s in love with him .. open your eyes

carlossainz55: 🤩🤩

user: the emphasis on the “my” 🤭🤭

oscarpiastri: this is cute or whatever

↳ user: my fav boy

user: wait!! does that mean we will be seeing yn in the paddock again???

↳ user: i hope so!!! 😩😩

user: idk about you all but i feel like her smile/face glows more whenever she’s with tom …….

↳ user: definitely, i agree!

↳ user: that’s bc tom’s her ✨daylight✨

↳ user: shUT uP OMG OMG, YESSS

↳ user: i foUnd my people

user: i missed her, omg ❤️❤️😭😭😭

user: will she be at the next race???

user: i feel like if she’s in love with tom, she should dump him

↳ user: that’s harsh, damn 😭😭

yourusername

liked by landonorris, joshandresrivera and 678,739 others

yourusername: a small bts photo dump:) 💗

tagged: @hunterschafer @tomblyth @joshandresrivera @the.sofia.sanchez

view 6,016 comments

user: hunter’s soo gorggg 😍😍😍

user: “a small bts” but it’s just tom

↳ user: it’s her excuse to post tom 🤣

user: the 6th photo was so unnecessary napaksns

hunterschafer: 😘😘😘😘❤️

user: wovey 🥺

user: yn’s down bad for tom, huh???

user: the chemistry they have on and off the screen is just unbelievably insane, omgg

user: 6th SLIDE??? HELLO??!!? MA’AM??!!?

user: I SHIP I SHIP I SHIP I SHIP

user: lando 💔💔💔💔💔💔

user: her and tom are DEFINITELY more than just friends and ya’ll CANNOT convince me otherwise

↳ yourusername: we’re just friends

↳ user: yeah and i’m jlaw’s daughter, but good try babe

tomblyth: my favorite girl!! ❤️

↳ user: SIR???

↳ user: bitCh what???!? 😳

↳ user: your what????

user: not him calling her his girl, BYE 😭😭😭😭

user: THIS LANDO MF BLIND ASF OMG 😭 iTs cLEAR THAT THERE’S MORE TO THIS WHOLE “friendship” BS

user: tHe 6th slide napaldndnfnc

user: not her posting the lake scene

user: wAit- are they about to kiss in the 6th slide??? bc i don’t remember no kiss in that scene

user: everyone is freaking over the 6th slide but the last one??? HELLO????? the hand on the chin?? 😩😩😩😩

↳ user: i thoUght i was the only one laswowhrbd

user: wovey, my love ❤️❤️❤️

joshandresrivera: love you, loser ❤️

user: their chemistry bro 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

user: its the way he’s looking at her in the last pic

user: tom and yn took their “relationship” to the next level

user: patiently waiting for lando’s comment

↳ user: i don’t think he knows what to comment 😭

user: she looks so much happier with tom, i swear

user: yn, be honest, are you in love with tom??!?

user: nah i feel bad for lando, bro 😭😭😭😭

↳ user: bro is clueless

user: lando losing on and off the track

↳ user: 💀💀💀💀💀

user: i genuinely want to know what type of relationship her and tom have cause???? it’s def more than friendly

user: @landonorris

user: i feel like she’s cheating on lando 😬

↳ user: 100%

user: they weren’t acting in the movie 😭 they were just being themselves, i swear

user: lando is one of the strongest soldiers i know!!!

user: i feel so bad for lando 😕😕😕😕

↳ user: he deserves better (me)

user: if you don’t want lando, i’ll happily take him

user: genuine question are they dating?? tom and yn, that is??

↳ user: no, but they might as well be dating atp

user: ya’ll gotta understand that a male and female can be close friends without having to be involved in a romantic way

↳ user: PREACH!

↳ user: there’s a thing called cheating, yk????

↳ user: with the way these two act there’s definitely more going on than just a friendly relationship

imessage

yourusername

liked by carlossainz55, oscarpiastri and 674,836 others

yourusername: NUMBER ONE?!!?!!?????!!!!!??

view 4,946 comments

user: gagged the hater with this one!!

user: your singing had me captivated

thehungergames: ❤️❤️❤️❤️

user: CORIOLANUS >>

user: you were amazing

user: proud of you!!!

tomblyth: you did that!! 🤩

↳ yourusername: no, babe, WE did that!! 👏🏼

↳ user: “babe” 😭😭😭😭

↳ user: ma’am just say yall together atp

user: well deserved

user: singing was phenomenal, omggg

user: that’s what happens when snow lands on top!! 🤩

📌 pinned

user: number one in the world and in my heart ❤️

user: you and tom were absolutely phenomenal

↳ yourusername: 💗💗💗💗

landonorris: you deserve it!! ❤️

↳ yourusername: ❤️❤️❤️

user: lucy gray is stronger than me bc personally i would’ve sat down with coriolanus and talked it out

↳ user: no bc same!!!! 😩 like i can fix him

↳ user: i would’ve ran away with him, idc

↳ yourusername: babes, are we just forgetting that he’s the reason finnick’s dead???? or the fact that he’s crazy???

user: SNOW LANDS ON WHAT EVERYONE??!!?

user: proud of you, my love!!! ❤️❤️

user: not her holding a grudge against snow for killing finnick she’s so real for that LMAOOOO

↳ tomblyth: 😩😩😩

user: the real question is did snow ever love lucy gray??

↳ yourusername: i like to believe so, yes! but he definitely loved power more:(

↳ tomblyth: lies 😑 (i agree)

↳ user: please 😭😭 he’s so unintentionally funny

user: you guys all deserve it, each one of you was amazing!!

user: my snowbaird heart ❤️❤️

user: best movie this year, i don’t make the rules

songbirdsandsnakes: thanks to our favorite coriolanus snow and lucy gray!!!! 🤩🤩🤩🤩

user: the movie was amazing, well done!!

user: I NEED MORE OF SNOW AND LUCY GRAY 😩😩

↳ user: i think we all do!!!

user: well deserved, pretty girl!!!!

carlossainz55: proud of you, yn! ❤️❤️❤️

↳ yourusername: ❤️ thank you, carlos

↳ user: missing this duo 🥺

user: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

user: you and tom smashed it

↳ user: they took the “smashing” part too serious 🫢

↳ user: you did not 💀

user: my lucy gray 🤩

user: I NEED A PIC WITH THIS CAST AND THE OG’S

↳ user: yn met jennifer, i believe .. but same!!! 😩😩

user: your singing was phenomenal, babe!!!

user: why’d you leave snow at the end??? 😭😭😭😭

↳ yourusername: cause he’s crazy??????

↳ user: he just wanted to talk tho????!!? 😩 all you had to do was sit and talk with him and apologize to him????

↳ yourusername: so he can kill me after????

↳ user: he would do NO such thing

tomblyth

liked by yourusername, landonorris and 684,830 others

tomblyth: it’s crazy to think tbosas is currently number one at the moment! this was such an unforgettable experience and i’m grateful i got to experience it with @yourusername ❤️

tagged: @yourusername

view 5,101 comments

user: I CANT, OMG

user: THE FIRST POST 😭😭😭

user: lando being in the likes??? 👀

yourusername: wouldn’t have wanted it any other way

yourusername: ❤️❤️❤️

songbirdandsnakes: snowbaird lives with you both ❤️

user: you both deserve it!!!

user: you killed it, mate! ❤️

user: they were both phenomenal, i cannot

user: both were incredible leads

user: it’s hard to tell if they’re just affectionate with each other or there’s simply more

user: if they aren’t dating, i NEED them to date 😭😭

user: they’re in love and nobody can convince me otherwise

↳ user: it’s so obvious

user: amazing leads!!!! 🤩🤩🤩

user: not lando liking 😭😭

user: SNOW LANDS ON TOP

user: you were amazing as snow! 👏🏼

user: does lucy gray haunt your dreams, be honest

↳ tomblyth: always

user: phenomenal actor

user: lucy gray or lucy gray??

↳ tomblyth: mhm .. none, i think i prefer lucy gray

↳ user: AS YOU SHOULD!

user: MY CORIOLANUS SNOW!! ❤️❤️ you were AMAZING

user: ya’ll cannot tell me snow didn’t love lucy bc he did

↳ user: he did love her in his own twisted way but he loved power more:((

user: i watched the move like 4 times already

user: if evil why so hot??

user: you and yn were phenomenal as snow and lucy gray

↳ tomblyth: ❤️ appreciate it, mate

user: why’d you betray my boy sejanus like that? 😭😭

user: LANDO IN THE LIKES 👀

↳ user: hes crying in a corner after seeing the first pic

user: they messed with our feelings 😩😩

↳ user: noo frr cause tell me why i was rooting for them knowing damn well how it would all end up 💔

user: i NEED them together

user: they look so good together 😩

user: you can definitely tell they love each other and not just as “friends”

user: well deserved!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

user: in my world snowbaird ended up together and are living happily ever after

↳ user: same!!!

↳ user: snowbaird and yntom

user: i know she’s dating someone but they look so good together, it’s like they are meant to be

imessage

pt3??

taglist:

@geraltwintersoldier @love4josh @dudde-44 @coconut-dreamz @newlifeforus @loxbbg @dakotali @f1footballluvverr @mountmaason19 @poppyflower-22 @magical-spit @nazm145 @nikolaros22 @sincerlymatakorama @36babyg @bucket-of-fanfiction @gyunheat @dakotali @bucket-of-fanfiction @djoenthusiast @nyraahub @miglielia @aleidag1rly (if your user is purple, it’s bc i couldn’t find you)

2K notes · View notes

temiizpalace · 5 months

Text

☆┆MY LAST NAME BELONGS TO YOU!

SUMMARY: writing your name out, with his last name!

CHARACTERS: basketball club + azul and leona

GENRE: fluff

WARNINGS: reader is referred to as [mc] – not really a warning, just kinda cringe – mentions of pursuing marriage in floyd and azuls part

ROMANTIC, RELATIONSHIP IS UP TO READER

reader is g/n, reader is yuu

♥️┆ACE TRAPPOLA

“man, this stinks..”

ace whispered under his breath as professor trein droned on with the lesson. he was struggling to keep his eyes open. as much as he wanted to just fall asleep in the middle of the lesson, he really really didn’t want to add to his homework pile.

that’s just more precious hours of his day wasted. all the repetitive sounds were oddly enough lulling him to sleep. the grating sounds of grim snoring, the weird twang noise deuces rubber band was making, and the sounds of pencils writing against paper.

“hey deucy, make sure not to fall asleep.” he whispered to ace, as if he wasn’t about to do the same. deuce gives him a look, about to open his mouth before trein had looked in their direction. ending their banter immediately.

to keep himself awake, ace started doodling in his notebook. not in the corner as most would, no he began doodling on a brand new sheet of paper. curious as to what you were doing, it seems you were notetaking at first.

but getting a closer look, you were doing the same as him. doodling in the notebook, barely paying attention to the lesson. he snickered, deep down grateful that he wasn’t the only one not paying attention.

‘hah. look at that idiot, not paying attention. they’d have to work twice as hard without magic. hehe.’ ace thought, shifting his attention to staring at you. though he was focused on you, his hands still mindlessly doodled across the page. completely unaware of what he was writing.

deuce glances over his shoulder, eyes widening at what he managed to read. “ace?! i.. i never would’ve thought this was your level of dedication..” deuce says to ace, confusing the boy. “eh? deuce what are you talking about—“

ace looks at the paper. his handwriting was messy since he wasn’t paying attention but it was certainly legible.

[MC] TRAPPOLA

he shuts the notebook hastily, emitting a loud thud noise to echo in the classroom. all eyes were on him. including yours. he whistles as if nothing happened, face flushed a light pink color. trein grunts, and continues on with the lesson.

🦁┆LEONA KINGSCHOLAR

“how’d i get stuck here..”

leona mumbles, sitting at his desk in what felt like forever. his plans to skip were officially ruined as you dragged him to his classroom before he could make it to the botanical garden. usually he’d just brush off anybody getting in his way of a good nap, but you looked so persistent in getting him here.

so begrudgingly, he took his seat in class with a huff as the professor continued his lesson. does he regret it? sort of. you looked satisfied and proud when he listened to you, so he’ll oblige for now. he can just ask for a reward later as a thanks for his compliance. he’s mentally making a list of things you could do for him..

joining him for his afternoon nap, fetching him lunch, coming to a spelldrive club practice, the list goes on. his blissful thoughts were then interrupted as the professor placed a paper worksheet in front of him. a worksheet? those are barely ever given out to students..

“kingscholar, this is a sheet of things you must catch up on as a result of your frequent absences. surely you can finish this by the end of the week since you seem to have much free time.” the professor spoke, handing him a pencil and leaving him off to writing.

“haah.. I shouldn’t have listened to that damn herbivore.” he sighs, slouching in his seat and reviewing the sheet in front of him. ‘i already know all this..’ leona thinks, stretching his arms out getting ready to nap. the least he could do is write out his name and do the rest when he feels like it. instead of his name, it was something else entirely.

[MC] KINGSCHOLAR

his ears drop down, his eyes widened, and his cheeks got darker. he followed his first instinct and crumbled the worksheet, ensuring nobody could read what he had just written. the professor glares at him and makes his way over to his seat. “mr. kingscholar.. i hope you know that’d be a rather large part of your grade. we wouldn’t want you to be held back another, would we?”

“tch..” leona scoffs, trying to look away from any of the attention he was receiving. the class ends as soon as it has started, thankfully with no more incidents. leona was just glad nobody has seen what he has written and that he can escape this situation as quickly as possible.. or so he thought.

“roi du leon!” an all too familiar face calls out.

oh no.

🐙┆AZUL ASHENGROTTO

azul sat in his office, filing through the contracts he had made in the past month. many let their minds wander when sitting at a desk for 2 hours or so, and azul is no exception.

eventually growing bored and tired of looking through the deals he made, he took out a notepad and simply wrote out his thoughts. at first he thought this was a dumb idea, but his mother insisted he try it and it has been working ever since.

his mind always felt at ease once the notebook was pulled out. but today felt a little different. he was happy, but today he felt more excited than anything.

he had a dumb lovestruck smile on his face, lightly giggling as he wrote. what on earth? his face was flushed and warm, but he didn’t mind it one bit.

[MC] ASHENGROTTO

he would’ve never thought something so simple would’ve gotten him so worked up. it was just your name and his surname. what was so special?

that’s what he would’ve thought in the past. now, he began to imagine a future of you and him in the coral sea.. a house together.. you meeting his mother.. his stepfather.. it made him feel all giddy. like a schoolgirl if you will.

his love fantasies were inevitably cut short as he heard a knock on the door. “ne, azul. shrimpy is here to see ya.”

panicked that you and floyd might see his notes, he hurriedly opened his drawer and slams it shut. the thud can be heard on the other side of the door, confusing you. “a-ahem.. come in!”

as he saw you, his fantasies began to boot back up. a wedding.. dates at mostro lounge.. it sounded like paradise. every fiber of his being was fighting the primal urge to make you a sign a contract. a contract in which you’d agree to be his life partner. forever, and ever.

🦈┆FLOYD LEECH

not feeling like attending classes, floyd skipped out on the lesson. he knows he’d get scolded by azul later, but if he doesn’t feel like going he don’t wanna.

since you were in classes, the teachers had pushed him out before he even got to you. even despite his protests! floyd complains at the closed door, trying to open it back up.

“eh? why can’t i just take shrimpy and go? lessons are borin’ anyway.” he complains, causing you to hide your head from all the eyes staring at you. all this attention pointed more at you than at floyd..

“leech.. that’s quite enough. go back to your class and come back for this.. “shrimpy” later. interrupting a lesson is NOT what a mage of the future should be doing.” the teacher retorts, now ignoring floyd and his remarks.

“tch.” getting tired of trying to pull you out, floyd retreats to his room in octavinelle. he flopped onto his bed, a pen in hand and a notebook in front of him. jade said drawing is a good time killer or whatever, so he’ll do just that. in all honesty, it won’t take long for him to get bored of this activity and look for something else.

floyd being floyd, just wrote or drew whatever first came to mind. there were tiny drawings of shrimps all over the page. an occasional eel to be seen next to it. he laughed and smiled looking at the page before him. “ehe.. there are shrimpys all over this paper—!”

he writes out another thought that came to his mind. it wasn’t a shrimp drawing, neither was it an eel. the handwriting was slightly shaking being on an uneven and unstable surface, but you can tell what it says.

[MC] LEECH

[MC]? ohhh, that’s your name! leech? that’s his last name! he didn’t truly process what he had wrote, but he knew the implications of it. you being a leech.. to change your last name..

you typically marry a person of interest.. and that person of interest typically inherits the others last name..

hey! person of interest is you! you’re his person of interest! just wait shrimpy! you better save that ring finger just for him!

and 5 minutes later he gets bored, tosses the notebook to the side and goes back to terrorize your classroom again.

🐍┆JAMIL VIPER

jamil sat in the scarabia lounge, finally finishing up dinner for the day. kalim was held up in club activities, and basketball practice has been cancelled due to the fact over half of the members were injured thanks to floyd and aces negligence.

this was a rare moment where he actually had time to himself. nobody to interrupt him in his peaceful state of mind. jamil walked over to his room, locking the door behind him and laying flat onto his bed.

he stares up at the ceiling, unsure what to do with this free time. homework? no he already did it all. check up on kalim? no, why would he ruin his moment of peace like that. check up on you? …

what a ridiculous idea. he doesn’t have time for that. well he does but.. ugh. having time to himself isn’t as relaxing as he made it out to be. especially considering he never had a moment to himself in forever.

jamil figured to keep himself occupied, he can make a bucket list. many people make bucket lists, surely this’ll help him plan his future, right? he grabs a pen and a sheet of paper and began to brainstorm.

obviously seeing the world is one of them. that’s something he wanted to do for as long as he could remember. his mind blanks. so far, his only desire was to travel. far far away from kalim. a thought occurred in his mind.

“..they have to be putting a spell on me or something.” jamil mutters, massaging his temple. he tried wiping the thought clean from his mind, but there was no luck. it annoyed him that such a simple thought was enough to leave him flustered.

[MC] VIPER

he wrote it onto a separate sheet of paper. examining it with a slight smirk. his cheeks were tinted a slightly darker shade, signs of him blushing. “their name doesn’t go well with my surname. what a shame.”

he’s lying. hearing your name with his last is like music to his ears, as much as he’d hate to admit it. surely enough he rips the paper into shreds and tosses it into a nearby trashbin, going out on a walk to clear his clouded mind.

you must’ve put a spell on him. he shouldn’t be having such fantasies of you and him traveling the world together.

A/N: this kinda sucks but it’s better than nothing lmao

date published: 1/6/23

#disney twst #twisted wonderland fluff #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst fluff #twst wonderland #twst x reader #twst #ace trappola x reader #leona kingscholar x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #floyd leech x reader #jamil viper x reader

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xo-cori · 7 months

Note

ok but get this

ellie is definitely the type to fall asleep while eating you out. gently tapping her head and you cant help but laugh. shes so cute resting her head on your thigh, completely pussy drunk that it made her so sleepyyyy

ok im done.

opiate this hazy head of mine

pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader

summary: no matter how tired she may be, she just can’t get enough of you.

warnings: smut (MDNI), slight overstim, brief mention of a minor injury, ellie snoozin

a/n: stop this is so cute. ellie b like… eat sleep repeat

Your eyes shoot up from the book in your lap when you hear the door to the room open, knowing exactly who it is before you even see her face.

It’s at least midnight and it’s almost painful how exhausted you are, but you’d made a habit out of waiting for your girlfriend to get home from patrol before ever going to sleep. As much as you assure her that it’s only because you want to be there for her after such a long day, you know deep down that your own anxieties play a big part in it. Every time she passes the gates to Jackson, there’s a little voice in your head reminding you that this could be the time she never makes it back.

She does, though. Every time. Your luck has been grand so far.

You smile as she trudges over to the bed, flopping down onto the mattress, breathing in the scent of the freshly washed sheets. You set your book down on the nightstand. “Long time, no see.”

“Too long.” Ellie groans, crawling up the bed until she’s settled between your legs, cheek pressing against your upper chest.

You wrap your arms around her and place a kiss on her frizzy hair. “Agreed,” you mumble, “but you know the rules. No outside clothes on the bed.”

Her chest puffs up before she lets out an exasperated sigh. “Come on. You can’t make an exception for me?”

“Not really, since the rule is specifically for you.” You gently push on her shoulders to make her sit up, which she does hesitantly. “Come on. The faster you change, the faster we can go to sleep.”

Ellie grumbles as she scoots to the edge of the bed so she can get to work with unlacing her shoes. While she does that, you stand up to retrieve the pajamas that you had laid out for her; a big, grey t-shirt and one of her many pairs of black boyshorts. You walk over to her and slip her shirt off over her head. “Oh, Els,” you sigh, reaching out to see that she’s got a bruise on her shoulder. It’s a big one and it’s already dark, a pretty mix of purple and yellow. “How’d you get that?”

“Kinda embarrassing, actually– I ran into this tree branch that was sticking through a window. It doesn’t really hurt as long as I don’t move my arm.” She shrugs.

You shake your head as you move down to start unbuttoning her jeans, which are just utterly filthy. Blood, dirt, and some other nasty shit that you don’t wanna know about; you aren’t exactly a clean freak, but you’d be caught dead before letting her stay in these clothes any longer than she has to. You pull her jeans down along with her underwear and pass her the pajamas. “I’m gonna go get a washcloth.”

As you walk away, you toss her dirty clothes into the laundry basket before wetting a rag with warm water in the bathroom, then taking a seat next to her on the bed. She’s already got her pajamas on and is rubbing the exhaustion from her eyes.

“Fuck, I’m tired.” She practically whispers.

You pick up her arm and run the washcloth over any bits of dirt that lingered on her skin. “I know,” you hum, “just want you to be comfortable.”

Ellie watches you clean her off with a focused care, handling her like a porcelain doll that could break at any moment. If it were anyone else, she would’ve gotten pissed off at how weak it makes her feel. But you aren’t anybody else. You’re the only person who can break down those walls she put up with nothing but a washcloth and a fresh pair of pajamas.

When you’re done, you just throw the rag on the bedside table and crawl back up the bed, motioning for her to follow you, which she does without a second thought. She lands herself in the same position as before, just a but cleaner this time; ear pressed to your heartbeat, sighing contently when she feels your arms wrap around her. “Yeah, this is pretty damn comfortable.” She says, though her voice is muffled by your shirt.

“Worth the thirty seconds it took for you to get changed?” You wonder, the snarky tone not making its way past Ellie.

She lifts her head to look at you with a huff. “You’re a lot prettier when you aren’t talking, you know that?”

You reach up to jokingly push her face away from you, but she takes it as an opening to latch onto your neck, chapped lips peppering kisses across your pulse point. Both of you know what that means, and you’d like to stop it before it goes too far. “Oh– Ellie, I think we should go to sleep,”

She hums against your throat, a quiet mm-mmm that shows her determination to finish what she’s started, regardless of how tempted she is by sleep. You sigh out in both disapproval and pleasure; a hypocritical combination that she pretends not to notice. Before you know it, her hands are sneaking under the fabric of your shirt, calloused fingers brushing over the soft skin on either side of your stomach. “You’re a pain in my ass.” You mutter.

Her only response is a quick bite to your neck, causing you to gasp and dig your fingers into her back, but she’s already moving down your body before you can react. Her hands smooth their way to the waistband of your bottoms, which happen to be a pair of her own boxers, she realizes with a smirk. “Come on. You put on my boxers and expected me to not get all hot and bothered?”

“Don’t ever say ‘hot and bothered’ again, but yeah– I know what makes you tick.” You reply honestly. She just rolls her eyes as she quickly pulls them down your legs, helping you kick them off to the floor. Not only can she already smell you, but the sight is enough to make her mind go blank. How are you already so wet? Had you been expecting this?

Her eyes momentarily flicker over to the book you’d placed on the nightstand and sees that it’s a familiar one; the one with a few portions questionable enough that you hurriedly stuff into one of the drawers before Joel or any of your friends come to visit. She grins at the realization. “Holy shit, you’re all hot and bothered too, huh?”

Before you’re even able to come up with another response, perhaps berate her for using that damn phrase again, you feel Ellie’s thumb swipe through your folds to bring some wetness up to your clit so that she can rub it in slow circles. Your hands grab onto the sheets and your legs fall open, making more room for her to lay between them comfortably. “Yeah, you are. Jeez.”

As turned on as you are, you can’t help but worry for her a bit; this is probably the latest she’s come back from a patrol, and if Maria hadn’t lectured her yet, she would definitely be in for it tomorrow. The dim yellow light from the lamp next to the bed gives you a clear view of those bags beneath her eyes, too, as she looks up at you like it doesn’t even phase her.

“Maybe, but you’re tired,” you whine, reaching down to stroke her freckled cheek with your thumb.

“Are you?” She asks.

You tuck some loose hair behind her ear. “No, but still, you–”

Much to your surprise (the best kind, you hate to admit), Ellie cuts you off by replacing her thumb with her tongue, immediately latching onto your twitching clit like it’s her sworn duty. Your hips jump as you gasp, taken aback by the sudden rush of pleasure that courses through you. Her quiet moans don’t do much to help. That hand on her cheek quickly comes up to grab her hair, clearly unsure whether you should pull her away or tug her closer. Either way, she doesn’t budge. You knew she wouldn’t.

Though it still feels good, way too good, you notice the tiredness creeping up on Ellie while she exhausts her last bits of energy into eating you out– slowly, more messy than usual, which is a welcome change. Little do you know, the only thing keeping her from completely dozing off is the feeling of your fingers tugging her hair (and the way your taste melts on her tongue like honey).

Due to this change in pace, it’s easier for you to keep your legs open wide for her, not exactly having the energy to struggle whatsoever and not wanting to tire her any more than she already is. If this is what she chooses to help her relax, then so be it; you’re getting something out of it too, after all.

A few minutes go by before you’re weakly crying out her name. “Els, I’m close,” you say, “just like that, okay? Oh, fuck,”

Ellie gives a tired smile as she pushes one finger into your clenching hole, softly curling it upwards into that spot that knocks the air out of you every single time. That’s all it takes to push you over the edge.

Your hand falls from her head and seeks out her free hand, twining your fingers together as she lets you ride out a gentle, quivering orgasm– but she doesn’t stop there. Of course she doesn’t.

It takes you a moment to process that she hasn’t stopped, even after removing her finger from inside of you. Her tongue is relentless as ever despite the ache in her bones telling her that her time is up.

“Ellie–” You hardly whine out, cut by a gasp. Still, though, you don’t make any attempt to fight back. You just squirm and cry as she licks up the mess she’s made of you with no regard for your sensitivity. It isn’t because she’s feeling mean, though. Just one glance down at her is all it takes for you to understand that she’s really just out of it.

You squeeze her hand each time she moans into you, the once pleasurable vibrations becoming torturous. Not before long, though, those moans turn to whines, then huffs, until you feel her head go limp against your thigh as she licks you one last time before letting out a low hum.

Relief floods you when you think she might just be done for the night

That is, until you look down once more and see that she’s completely knocked out.

Your eyes widen. Her lips glisten in the little bit of light in her room, her hands resting on your hips, cheek smushed against your shivering inner thigh. It’s a beautiful sight, really, but the context makes you want to crawl out of your skin.

Cautiously, you shake your leg, jostling her head and watching her brows furrow at the disturbance. “Ellie.”

Her squinted eyes finally flutter open and meet yours, obviously still well aware of her situation. “What, can’t a girl get some shut-eye around here?” She groans.

You shake your leg again before she can nuzzle back into it, which is her cue to hesitantly crawl up to your side, bringing the blanket over the both of you before wrapping an arm around your waist and burying her face into the warm crook of your neck. “Better?” Ellie questions muffledly.

You reach over to run your fingers through her (now messy) hair, successfully easing her sleepy state of irritation. “Much better, sleeping beauty.”

Though you expect your tease to be met with a dirty look or at least a snarky comment in return, you’re met with a very telling silence. Then, that big exhale Ellie always does whenever she’s completely fallen asleep.

#the last of us #the last of us 2 #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie tlou #ellie williams x y/n #ellie x reader #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams smut

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motherjoel · 1 year

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arms tonite (joel miller/reader)

summary: basically its YOU who gets stabbed by the baseball bat. joel isnt good with feelings. david does not exist david cant hurt anybody. a bit of angst and a bit of fluff. also LOOSELY based on arms tonite by mother mother

a/n: yawlllllll it has been a MINUTE but i am back for some tlou cause i just really wanted to write for these characters i love so very much. i apologize if the timing of their travel is fucked, i truly have no concept of geography so we can ignore that.

wc: 3.5k

warnings: just general tlou gore, nothin too bad

You couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment you fell in love with Joel Miller. But as you lay here, Joel's hands soaked in your blood as he attempted to stop it from pulsating out of your abdomen, you knew it was love that you were feeling. It was supposed to be simple. After your brief stay in Jackson, the two of you were supposed to take Ellie to the fireflies. Yet, nothing seemed to be simple these days, especially not around this girl.

In the amount of time the three of you had spent together, you developed an unbreakable bond. Ellie became a sort of surrogate sister to you- you’d lost your family when you were just a kid during the outbreak and you never had the chance to become a big sister. At least not for long. And then there was Joel. You weren’t quite sure what he meant to you yet, but you’d be lying if you said you wouldn’t die for him. For both of them, really- a life without them wasn’t worth living. Of course, you never planned on telling them that.

The day started fairly nice- with Joel allowing Ellie to make her own decision about who would be taking her to the fireflies. Sure, you and Ellie would be fine with Tommy, but Joel had failed to consider the bond the three of you shared when making this decision. He was thinking of only himself and his fear- this is what you had told him last night after his fight with Ellie.

“What the hell was that?” you asked him after he stormed out of Ellie’s temporary room.

“It was nothin’. Doesn’t concern you,” he replied, brushing past you as he made his way to the couch where he decided to set up camp for the night.

“Um, it sure as hell does concern me, Joel. Are you seriously going to abandon us? After everything we’ve been through, after how much that girl trusts you, Joel!” you raised your voice a bit, trying to keep yourself from alerting Ellie upstairs. Those words stung him a bit. He didn’t see it as abandonment- he saw it as protection. After everything you went through together, he never once put himself first.

“She doesn’t know a thing about what this means,” Joel turned to you. “She- she’s just a kid, she-” he stopped himself, trying to gather himself. “I can’t bring her. I’m not capable, I’m slowin’ down and I just can’t. Do. It,” he exhaled, dropping himself onto the couch.

“Wow,” you replied, softly sitting next to him. “You’re really underestimating yourself,” you sighed, Joel, lifting his face to look at you. “I mean, not only yourself but me, Joel. In case you’d forgotten, I’ve gotten myself through some tough shit. And Ellie? Man, she's the toughest kid I’ve ever met. Hell, she's one of the toughest people I’ve ever met,” you said, observing Joel’s worn face. “I mean… don't you think she at least deserves a choice?” you asked, hoping to convince Joel to come to his senses and realize who he was.

“I’ll take the couch. Bedrooms down the hall,” he grumbled before turning his back to you and lying down. There was nothing left you could say at this point, so you decided to spare yourself and make your way to the bedroom. The bed was pretty big. It could’ve fit two people.

The moment you saw Joel in the stables the next morning, you could feel your heart soar. Before he said a word, you knew he had made the right decision. The three of you squeezed onto the horse, Ellie sandwiched in the middle, and you were off. You and Joel sat in peaceful silence for a while, occasionally responding to Ellie’s rambling to show you were listening. Before you knew it, you were arriving at the so-called firefly base.

“What the fu-” you started.

“Holy shit! Are those monkeys?” Ellie exclaimed, pointing at the crowd of animals before you.

“Must be from the old labs,” Joel muttered, a hint of interest in his voice

“Look at them go!” you giggled.

“First time seein’ a monkey?” Joel asked the two of you.

“First time seein' a monkey,” you replied in unison, both awestruck. A smile crept onto Joel's face at this- the togetherness he felt in rare moments like this is what kept him going.

You soon came across the fireflies symbol painted on a couple of signs, but no guards appeared nearby. You all dismounted the horse before making your way inside, guns drawn. You in the back, Joel in the front, and Ellie sandwiched between yet again. The building you came across was abandoned from the looks of it, with papers scattered about.

“They just left,” Joel said, coming across a packing list among the scattered supplies. You suddenly heard a clang from another room, drawing your attention.

“Maybe not all of them,” you replied as the three of you carefully moved towards the sound. Your heart picked up its pace- whatever was in that room couldn’t be a firefly. Maybe a raider, you thought, which didn’t help your anxieties. Joel put a finger to his lips before opening the door, signaling for your silence. Relief rushed through you as you saw the source of the noise was just a few stray monkeys. It was only moments later that you heard voices- voices that certainly didn’t come from an animal. Peering out the window, the three of you saw a group of men, presumably raiders.

“Shit,” you murmured, instinctively grabbing Ellie’s arm.

“Out the back,” said Joel, leading the way for the three of you to make your escape. You ducked behind some sandbags for a moment before making your break to the horse. As Joel untied the horse, you heard footsteps quickly making their way over to you.

“Joel!” Ellie screamed as the man swung his bat at his head, hitting it on a tree and breaking it in two. While Joel dodged his attack you jumped on the man and banged him into the tree behind him before he knocked you back on your ass, banging your head on the ground. You’ve had your fair share of concussions, and you knew that's exactly what just happened to you. Joel quickly recovered from the first attack before grabbing the man, a wave of anger in his eyes as you’ve never seen before. His arm tightened around the man's throat, unrelenting in its strength. Struggle as he may, it wasn’t long before his neck was snapped. You remain on the ground, adrenaline pumping through your veins as you look at Ellie, shakily holding her gun. Her eyes darken as they shift down to your stomach. Your eyes follow hers and you finally see what she’s looking at. When the man hit the bat into the tree, it must've snapped in half. One half was on the ground a few feet away from you, while, unfortunately, the other half was buried in your stomach.

“Shit,” Ellie said, lowering her gun and walking over to you. Your hand reached down, adrenaline still pumping through your body, and you instinctively pulled the wooden piece out of your abdomen. You barely even felt it. Joel was silent the entire time, and you couldn’t quite tell what he was thinking. You threw it aside before noticing three more men coming your way. As fast as possible, Joel hiked himself up onto the horse and grabbed you while Ellie pushed from the ground before pulling herself up, you now sitting between the two. Joel didn’t let himself focus on the anxiety in his chest that blurred his vision- he needed to get you both to safety.

“Fuck,” you sighed, adrenaline wearing off a bit and pain seeping in.

“Go!” Ellie yelled to Joel as you began to move. She grabbed her gun and shot backward at the men- she didn’t have the best aim, but it certainly deterred them from advancing anymore. Ellie kept peering over her shoulder, on high alert. If you weren’t putting all of your focus on staying conscious, you’d have noticed her slight tremble. You would have noticed Joel's body tense when your breathing slowed, his occasional glance over his shoulder. His erratic heartbeat as he tried to keep you talking.

“We’re gonna get back to Jackson and we’re gonna get some help,” Joel said over his shoulder. There wasn’t a hint of emotion in his voice- he was excellent at hiding how he truly feels.

“No,” you uttered, using all of your strength.

“Sorry, no?” Joel questioned.

“Get her to the fireflies,” you whispered before your vision began to blur. Your lifeless body crumpled off the horse, Ellie attempted to hold on but it all happened too fast. The cold snow was stained red, the warm blood leaving your body melting the snow directly beneath you. Joel and Ellie quickly hopped down, one on each side of you.

“Fuck fuck fuck,” Ellie panicked, hands shakily reaching towards your abdomen.

“Ellie,” Joel said, voice laced with panic. He motioned for her to grab his pack while he placed his hands onto the wound, blood seeping through the gaps in his fingers. He had never felt so helpless in his life- at least, not since Sarah. That same shuddered breathing coming from a person he loves- he couldn’t bear it.

“Joel, what the fuck do we do,” she asked. Joel continued to silently work on packing your wound with an extra flannel he had in his bag.

“It’s ok,” you croaked. They immediately turned to you on the ground, almost stopping in their tracks. “Just help me to that house,” you said, motioning towards a house about 50 yards away. You were struggling to breathe under the pressure of Joel’s hands on your wound- it almost seemed useless, you were still losing blood like crazy. Joel tied the flannel around your waist to try to keep the blood from seeping out. Once he decided you were situated, he picked you up bridal style and led you to the house. When you arrived, they gently placed you at the entrance, Ellie staying with you while Joel made sure the house was clear. He returned to help you inside, lying you on an old mattress. You let out a small laugh as you got situated.

“What?” Joel asked, a hint of irritation in his voice. How could you be laughing right now?

“Don’tcha think it's kinda cute?” you asked as he fussed with your bandages.

“What’s that?” he asked gruffly, not exactly in the mood for your attitude.

“Oh, just that I might be dying in your arms tonight. I dunno, feels like a movie,” you said, your pale lips curling into a smile. He gave you a look, pausing briefly to peer into your eyes. You wordlessly pleaded with him to lighten the mood a bit, for Ellie’s sake. He didn't say a word.

“Joel, what the fuck do we do?” Ellie repeated herself in her panic.

“It’s ok. You guys go. Now,” you said. Joel's eyebrows furrowed at this. “You leave, go north. Go to Tommy.”

“Um, the fuck?” Ellie asked. “I don’t know what you think this is but we're not leaving,” Ellie said, frustration creeping into her voice. She looked hurt by this, and it broke your heart. Were you doing the same thing Joel had done just last night?

“The kids right,” Joel said as you turned to look at him. “You’re either comin' with us or we're all campin’ here for the night. No in-between” Joel finished. You pleaded to him with your eyes again, begging him to just give up on you. The two of them would be fine, you knew it. But you didn’t know the emotional toll it would have taken on the stubborn man in front of you. He was stubborn, but so were you. Only you didn’t get a chance to prove just how stubborn you could be before you couldn’t fight the darkness that crept into your vision.

You woke with a start the next morning. You often woke in a panic these days, but the feeling was only further cemented when you realized you didn’t quite recognize your surroundings. The only thing you could recognize was Joel’s eyes on you, which brought you some semblance of comfort. When he noticed you awake, he rushed to your side. As much as you could imagine Joel to “rush.”

“Hey, you uh, awake. You’re awake,” he said softly, trying not to wake Ellie asleep in the corner of the same dilapidated room you’d been in for a while now.

“It would appear so,” you replied, attempting to sit up a bit.

“Hey, hey, relax,” he put his hand on your shoulder, urging you to lay back down. “Your infections bad. We managed to trade for some penicillin but it's not gonna be enough. We gotta figure out how to get you back to Jackson,” Joel said, lightly lifting your shirt to look at the wound.

You cursed the heat rising to your face as Joel's fingers brushed your bare skin. You’d never been intimate like this before, though this was barely intimacy. He hadn’t ever touched your skin like this- with such delicacy. You were fragile to him at this moment, and you needed to be handled with care. You hated being a burden, but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t feel nice to be taken care of for once.

You were too busy focusing on your own reaction to this gesture to notice Joels. His hands shook as he cared for your wound, wincing as he saw that it really wasn’t getting any better. He didn’t know what this meant- he wasn’t a doctor by any means, but he knew this wasn’t good.

You were in and out of sleep throughout the next day or two, letting the dull, throbbing pain lull you into sleep. It hurt to watch Joel and Ellie worry about you, especially because there was nothing you could do to help. Your days felt numbered- the amount of penicillin was scarce and you weren’t feeling any better. You barely had the strength to keep your eyes open, much less speak.

“Joel,” you managed to croak- you couldn’t even spare the energy to seethe at the pain pulsating throughout your body.

“Yeah, sweetheart?” he replied, kneeling next to you. He only called you sweetheart when he needed something- what did he need from you now? To live? “Whatcha need?”

“You’re special, you know that?” you whispered, a tear rolling down your cheek.

“And why is that?” he asked, wiping the tear.

“You really know how to make a girl fall in love,” you smiled- this isn’t something you ever planned on telling him, but as you lie there, vision blurring around the edges as the darkness caved in on you, there was nothing else you wanted to say.

Joel felt panic consume him when your eyes closed.

“Hey, hey darlin’, wake up for me, okay?” he pleaded. Ellie stalked over, panic heating her chest. “Ellie, grab her legs,” Joel said. It was like he was kicked into a new gear- he was going to do whatever it took to keep you with him.

You didn’t know where you were. The walls were unfamiliar and white- stark and sterile. The first thing you noticed was the couch in the corner of the room, occupied by your two favorite people. Joel sat upright, arms crossed and eyes closed. His brows were furrowed like he was having some sort of nightmare. Ellie’s expression mirrored his, as she lay on her side with her head resting on his leg, arms curled into her chest. Your heart warmed at the sight- he was becoming a father figure to her, as much as he didn’t want to admit it. You tried to sit up, failing immediately as pain shot through your body. You winced, perhaps a little too loud, as Joel’s eyes shot open. Ellie remained in a deep sleep on his lap.

“You’re up,” he acknowledged, almost like it was too good to be true. He carefully shifted his body so he could move Ellie from his lap and onto the couch before he stood to walk towards you. “She hasn’t gotten much sleep, be best not to wake her,” he said, leaning down to brush a hair from her face. Seeing him be this gentle with her melted your heart.

“How, um, how long was I out?” you asked, lifting the sheets to see your wound. It was covered and clean, but you knew it was there from the way it throbbed.

“About a week. Scared the shit out of… the kid,” he said, sitting on the edge of your bed. He bit back what he truly wanted to say- you scared the shit out of him. But he wasn’t going to admit that you had that much of an impact on him. The second he lets others affect his life is the second he gets weak. There wasn’t a place for vulnerability in this world. “It was, a, uh, miracle that you lived.”

“Oh yeah?” your eyebrows raised. “Shit. I’m sorry for worrying… her,” you glanced at Ellie again as she snuggled into the couch. “How did I, um how did you guys get me here?” you asked. Your voice was hoarse from lack of use, but you tried to remain strong.

“We, uh, we gotcha back on the horse. Ellie led the way, I made sure you were safe, I mean, I just made sure you didn’t fall,” he replied, looking at his feet. “Took us awhile to get back, I… I didn't think you were gonna make it,” he replied, coughing to cover up the break in his voice. He was still in disbelief that you even woke up.

“Well, it looks like you’re stuck with me,” you laughed weakly. Then it was silent for a few moments, the two of you stewing in your thoughts. “You know, I think if it had been anybody else with me, I would’ve just died,” you remarked. Joel shook his head.

“Well, that’s not true. You’re strong” he said quietly.

“Well, yeah, sure I’m strong. But I can choose not to be. I honestly would’ve been fine to die if it was in your arms. But I couldn’t do that to you. Not… not again,” you paused, gathering your thoughts. “It’s just… you’re it for me, Joel. You and Ellie- you guys are it. And if I can’t have you guys, well, let's just say I wouldn’t mind staying asleep,” you confessed, avoiding eye contact.

“Ahem…” you heard Ellie clear her throat from her position on the couch. “Sorry, I have a habit of snooping, but holy shit you’re awake!” she squealed, bouncing over to you and plopping herself onto you in a hug. She knocked the wind out of you, and you may have cared if you weren’t so happy to see her.

“Hey, hey, easy on her now,” Joel said, pulling Ellie back from you a bit. He was still quiet, processing what you had just said to him.

“Ahhh, my sweet Ellie girl, how I missed you so,” you smiled, pinching her cheeks.

“Bullshit, you were definitely just dreaming about Joel the whole time. Must’ve been nice, sleeping that long,” she laughed. You ignore the first part of her sentence.

“Yeah, I guess I’m pretty well rested,” you smiled, ruffling her hair and pulling her into another hug.

“I’m gonna go get someone, a nurse,” Ellie excused herself from the room, leaving you with Joel yet again.

“I’m sorry if that was too mu-” you started before Joel cut you off.

“No, no, don’t apologize, sweetheart,” he said softly. It wasn’t a whisper- it was just soft. He’d been so soft with you. “I… I can’t say I don’t feel the same,” he looked down at his shoes.

“Oh, uh, you do?” you blushed. You felt so childish, like you were admitting you had a crush on him, but it was more than that. It was a partnership, a dependency- a loyalty to one another that didn’t need a label. Only, you couldn’t hide the way you felt anymore.

“Gosh, I can’t even tell you how it felt to see you like that. It should’ve been me, you know,” he said, disappointment evident on his features.

“Um, no, it shouldn’t have. Besides, how would we have gotten your big ass back to Jackson?” you giggled, grabbing his hand. His expression changed then as he looked down at your intertwined hands. “Joel, what does this mean?” you asked.

He chose not to respond with words- they were never his strong suit. Without a word, he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on your lips. It was soft and it was sweet and it was like nothing you had ever experienced before- not from someone you loved. You reciprocated, weaving a hand into his hair to pull him closer.

“Yeah, they’re just in here-woahhhhhhh!” Ellie yelled, giggling and running out of the room. Joel quickly pulled back and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

“That little shit,” he sighed.

“Well, she was gonna have to find out somehow,” you giggled, pressing a kiss to his bruised knuckles.

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acourtofwhatthefuck · 8 months

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Practice On Me — Part Four — Azriel x Reader

Summary: It’s Solstice! Reader decides she should probably be honest with Azriel about some stuff. Things don’t quite go to plan.

Oof. Okay. This could be uncomfortable reading for some. There are some hints and depictions of domestic abuse and also of alcoholism, so if that’s something that might trigger you, please, please do not read this. The last thing I want is for my writing to be harmful to anybody. Read with caution. Take care and put yourself first. Lots of love.

Also, please don’t hate me for this 😭we know I’m a hoe for angst and it wouldn’t be one of my fics if there wasn’t some sprinkled in there lmao.

Word Count: 5k.

Warnings: Depiction of abusive behaviour. Heavy drinking. Some violence.

On a brisk winter morning, when the sun hasn’t yet graced the sky, the last place you wish to be is at the Windhaven crèche, watching over a group of tired, grouchy younglings. Every second thought that passes through your mind is a longing one, lamenting on how desperately you wish to be back in your bed.

But alas, you owe your friend, Vegha, a favour, making you the sole minder of ten restless little girls, all annoyed that their brothers get to join their fathers for training, while they have to stay back and be…girls. A downfall, according to most Illyrian males.

You’re supposed to be watching over them for a couple of hours while Vegha runs an errand. And that time is going very, very slowly.

You’re in the middle of reading a storybook — and, yes, doing all the voices — when the door opens behind you. You feel a glimmer of hope that perhaps Vegha is back earlier than planned, but when you swivel on the child-sized chair you’ve perched yourself on, it’s Azriel who looms in the doorway.

And you…your heart does a silly little thing in your chest.

“Don’t let me interrupt.” He says. “I can wait.”

Your eyebrows flick up in amusement. “Come take a seat, then. It’s story time.”

His lips twitch, and he goes to reach for one of those infant chairs — which you’re not at all sure can handle all his muscle — but this sparks a flurry of complaints from the girls, who all insist that they want to sit with Azriel the most, and within seconds, he’s cross-legged on the floor with the children somehow managing to settle around him without bickering, and they’re all able to command his attention at once.

Happy mediums, and all that.

Your gaze lingers on him as he does all the right things; leaning his head down so he can appear less…huge, while listening with rapt attention to one of the girl’s chattering; steadying another one as they climb over him to get themselves seated; gently telling them all that they have to be quiet if they want to hear the rest of the story. That, of course, achieves immediate near silence.

And thus begins an entire performance of you continuing the tale, and the girls — and Azriel — responding in all the right places. They howl when they’re supposed to make the sound of a wolf, and roar when it’s a mountain cat, and you don’t miss that Azriel helps the tiniest of the girls to remember which animals make what sounds.

Most males in this gods-forsaken place are an intimidating presence to these children, frightening them into silence whenever they’re around, because girls are supposed to be seen and not heard. But Azriel is always gentle, always kind, and they adore him for it.

It’s a combination of all these things that force you to face a truth that’s been rapidly snowballing inside your mind and heart for the past four days — something has changed. Shifted. Has been shifting and changing for a while.

You laid awake for hours that night in the dormitory, listening to Azriel’s breathing as he slept deeply, happily sated from the pleasure you’d given him. Your mind had been too much of a war zone for you to drift off.

Nine years, you’ve called this male your closest friend. Ever since the very first day you’d met him, when a group of males had pushed you to the floor and kicked mud at you, and he’d jumped in and defended you for no other reason than that he’s good to the bone. Nine years, you’ve been by each other’s sides, and it’s been comfortable and familiar and just…right.

But now — now, you think you may have jeopardised that all by going along with Azriel’s request for help. Help with kissing. Touching. Experiencing.

You’ll always want to help him in any way that you can, of course. But you didn’t quite anticipate the predicament you now find yourself in. That you want all of those things and more, not just under the ruse of building your friend’s confidence. You want to explore more with him, feel more with him. You’ve been able to think about nothing else for days.

And it might make you a total wretch, but you want Kaeda to be a distant memory. The thought of Azriel taking what you’ve shown him, shared with him, and putting his all into somebody else…it sours your stomach. Makes you feel sick.

Makes your heart hurt.

And, well, you’re fucked, really.

It’s a kind of hurt that won’t go away on its own. It isn’t avoidable nor ignorable. And so your only option is to confront it, be honest about it. Whatever the outcome may be.

The story comes to an end, and the girls are calmed and sleepy enough that they look ready to curl up on the floor and doze off. Azriel peels himself away from the cluster of clingy children and stands up, strolling over to you.

“Well that was fun.” He comments quietly, taking the book from your hands. “Who knew I was so adept at doing animal impressions?”

“One of your many talents, I suppose.” You smile, drinking in the sight of him. He looks tired this morning. Tired, but beautiful. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

His expression sobers slightly, and he tells you, “We’re leaving this morning. For the training exercise.”

Immediately, your stomach churns. Being away from your friends sets you on edge. Windhaven is a lonely, lonely place to be without the love of Rhys, Cassian and Azriel to warm you. And not even Rhys’s mother is here to make it a little more bearable.

Az immediately recognises the bleakness that passes your face. He steps closer, his hand a gentle brush against yours. “I’ll be back for Solstice.” He reminds you yet again.

“I know.” You attempt to force an easy, breezing smile. “What’s the plan for Solstice, anyway?”

Normally, Rhysand’s mother would cook a meal in the cottage. You wouldn’t be able to attend, given that you’re always stuck at home with your father, but by the time he would pass out drunk, you’d sneak out and make it to the cottage just as the games were starting. Some of your happiest memories are of being curled up on one couch with Az, Rhys and his mother on the other, and Cassian stood in front of you, making a terrible attempt at playing charades.

But it’ll be different this year. With the High Lord keeping a tight leash on his pregnant mate in Velaris, there will be no meal, no charades. You, Azriel and Cassian would most certainly not be welcome at their intimate family celebration.

“Rhys will spend the day in Velaris.” Az tells you. “Cass and I will be getting drunk. There’s a celebration being held at the dormitories in the evening, so I suppose we’ll all end up there.”

You dip your chin. “I’ll come and find you there, then.”

His responding smile is a gentle one; one that says he sees right through you, right through to the panic that’s eating away at you, and he understands.

There’s no way he sees everything that you’re feeling, though. Perhaps that’s a good thing.

Your body goes slightly rigid as he dips down and presses a kiss to your forehead. His hand squeezes yours, and then he’s pulling away. “See you on Solstice.”

He bids a quiet goodbye to the dozing girls. It’s as he’s heading for the door that you find yourself stepping after him. “…Az?”

He turns, hand on the doorknob. “Yes?”

“There’s…something I need to talk to you about, when you get back. Something I need to tell you.”

Okay. Shit. You’re really doing this.

Azriel’s eyes rake over you, and then he smiles. “We’ll talk on Solstice.”

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

Your head’s not all there today, as you stare out of the window of your father’s forge. Azriel and the others have been gone almost a week, and you’ve spent every one of those days thinking about how you’re going to tell him…whatever it is you’re going to tell him.

You’re not even certain, yourself.

Just that…that things are different. That you know, to begin with, that this was about him and Kaeda — but it’s shifted in your brain at an alarming rate, and now that you’ve shared something so…so meaningful, with him, you’re not sure you can go on acting as though it was all just a favour.

Yeah. That should do it.

And it’s a huge fucking risk, of course. There’s every chance he won’t return the sentiment, and then a giant wedge of unresolved feelings will exist between you.

But you need to — perhaps selfishly — confront this before things between him and Kaeda progress. In case there’s a slight chance that it’ll alter the path it’s heading down.

And you haven’t thought any further than that.

The snow has started again, and you watch the flurries sweep past the window and join the thick layer on the ground. You’ve become so accustomed to the noise of the forge that you hardly notice it anymore — not the constant clanking, nor the heat that the fires swathe the shop in. You used to beg your father to teach you his craft, to allow you to get stuck in and get your hands dirty, but he’s always stubbornly maintained that it’s a male’s job, and that he needs you for the bookkeeping. You’re surprised he trusts you with that.

You breathe a soft sigh, your thoughts once again flitting back to Az. To what he might be doing, thinking, feeling. Whether he misses you as much as you miss him.

But before those thoughts can take a hold of you and sink you deeper into your predicament, the door opens, the bell above it ringing and a gust of cold air momentarily biting you.

It’s rare for females to come to the forge. Very rare, indeed. Which is why, for a second or two, you just stare.

That — and because she’s incredibly beautiful.

Her eyes — the colour of emeralds — sweep the workshop, before landing on you, and she smiles. She has the telltale tanned skin of an Illyrian, but instead of the dark hair that’s so typical around here, hers is red — not orange, not auburn, but blood red. You’ve never seen a shade quite like it.

And if that’s not enough to completely bowl you over, your gaze rakes over her clothing, and you stop, stunned.

Females around here wear homespun dresses of simple brown shades. A few, like yourself, favour basic tunics and breeches. Clothing is just a necessity, not something you lend much thought to.

But this female wears Illyrian leathers. Never, in your life, have you seen females wear Illyrian leathers. It’s simply not a done thing.

But she looks resplendent in them.

They cling to supple curves and accentuate a figure that you don’t think you’d ever be able to achieve with any amount of training. And perhaps the most shocking thing of all — and the most enviable — is the presence of brilliant, beautiful wings at her back. Unclipped. Untouched. Unruined.

How your wings might have one day looked, had your father not destroyed them.

You’re not entirely convinced that an angel hasn’t just stepped into your father’s forge. Or perhaps this is the Mother that everyone worships. Part of you wants to worship her, too, and beg her to bestow upon you her blessings—

You snap yourself out of it before you can fall head-over-heels in love with her. She’s just a customer.

A very, very beautiful customer.

“Good day to you.” She says, approaching the counter. Her voice is like pure music.

You incline your head in greeting. “And to you. Is there something I can help you with?”

“I’m interested in having some gifts made for my father and brothers. For Solstice.”

Once again, you’re gawking.

Another thing that’s unheard of; females liking their family members enough to have gifts made for them.

You clear your throat, blinking out of your thoughts. “What…what kind of things were you looking for?”

“Personalised daggers.” She answers, and then she grins in a way that makes you want to tell her your life story, and leans closer. “A male can never have too many daggers, right?”

You breathe a laugh. It doesn’t sound natural. “Absolutely.”

“I’ll be needing three. One for my father, and one each for my two brothers. Can that be done in time for Solstice? I can pay extra…”

This female has beauty, leathers, wings, a relationship with her family members, money. She’s magnificent. A few exchanged words, and you’re awed by her.

Who is she? How have you never seen her before?

“It can be done.” You tell her with a flustered smile. “I’ll just need to sit with you and get some details of exactly what you want made, and then my father will get straight to it. I imagine they’ll be ready for collection by Solstice Eve.”

Her eyes light up in a way that reminds you of sunrise. “That’s perfect.”

There’s a second or two where you just…can’t help staring. Her beauty has knocked you speechless.

But once again, you snap yourself out of it and try to retain some semblance of professionalism.

“Can I take your name down?” You say, and clear your throat again. Gods, you hope you’re not blushing. “For the order.”

You grab a piece of parchment and a pen, hoping you’ll remember how the fuck to write.

“It’s Kaeda.” She says, and the pen nearly slips from your hand. “Kaeda Baralas.”

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Solstice morning sweeps in just as abruptly as the fresh onslaught of snow that once again batters the camp.

It’s going to be a rough one. You can feel it in your bones.

You dread it every year, but this year is made even worse by the constant stream of thoughts that have been plaguing you over the last week. About whether telling Az about your feelings is a good idea. Not just because of what it could do to your friendship, but because…

Because you can’t deny that since seeing Kaeda in the flesh, you’re doubting yourself more than ever.

Of course, you can see why Azriel would want her. And why he’d want to be good and experienced for her. And you…you’ve been facilitating that. You’re the practice dummy. Kaeda is the real thing.

At least the chaos of Solstice keeps you busy.

You wake early, and from the noise and foot traffic outside your bedroom window, you know Az’s unit has safely returned from their training exercise. Your relief is short-lived, replaced by the dread of your father hitting the bottle.

Every year is the same. You spend the day trying to focus on your preparation of the huge meal you’re expected to cook, while your father knocks back drink after drink and gradually gets rowdier. You tell yourself that the more he drinks, the better — he’ll fall asleep eventually, and you’ll be out of here.

But then the front door bursts open.

It’s four of your father’s friends who pile into your cramped home, singing at the tops of their voices and reeking of booze. You’re only just able to stop one of them knocking a pot of potatoes off the counter with a careless, wayward wing. They barely acknowledge you, filing through to the sitting room to greet your father. Their voices get louder, and an ache is building behind your eye.

Day bleeds into late afternoon. You try to ignore them, to focus on the task at hand. Cooking is usually enjoyable for you, but with an unwelcome party happening in the next room, you find yourself getting more and more stressed.

By the time your father bustles his way into the kitchen and begins sniffing around the food, you’re close to losing it.

“Isn’t it ready yet?” Your father rudely demands.

You stare out of the kitchen window, at the dwindling light of approaching evening, clenching your jaw. “It is. I’m waiting for your friends to leave.”

“They’ll be eating with us.”

You whirl on the spot. “We don’t have enough food for that.”

“I told you we’d have guests.”

No, he absolutely hadn’t. This is a power play. He does shit like this all the time. Backs you into corners.

“I bought food for two people.” You snap, unable to stop yourself. “Not six.”

Your father’s nostrils flare. You know that look on his face a little too well — the one where his cheeks redden and his eyes turn cold. It’s always, always made your stomach lurch.

He steps closer, and you press your back against the counter, trying your utmost not to look intimidated.

“You’d better rectify that, hadn’t you?” His tone is deceptively gentle. “Be a good girl and find a way to make the food go around six people. You wouldn’t want to ruin Solstice.”

It’s a veiled threat. One you’d be wise not to ignore.

So you stare at him and he stares at you. And when he eventually nods and leaves the room, you turn and try to work out how to make a meal for two a meal for six.

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The mountain of a male beside you jostles your chair so violently that you almost fall out of it.

His hand grabs a roast potato from your plate. He shoves it into his mouth, chews, and grins. “You weren’t going to eat that, were you?”

The entire meal has been like this.

Perhaps it’s your ice-thin temper that has you staring him right in the eye; a thing many Illyrian males consider a great disrespect from females. “Would it matter if I was?”

He swallows and swipes the lone, remaining potato you hadn’t planned to touch. “Not really, no.”

The dinner is usually the only part you enjoy of Solstice. A meal that you spend hours perfecting, of slow-cooked meat and roasted potatoes and a colourful array of different vegetables that are cooked to perfection. It’s the one part of the day where you can just sit and breathe, because even your father doesn’t usually have a bad word to say about the meal you’ve presented.

This one has been pure, unadulterated hell.

To accommodate your unwanted guests, you’ve skimped on your own food, barely affording yourself a couple of mouthfuls. Wine and ale has been spilled across the table, and the conversation around it has only grown more and more uncomfortable — and vile — as the night has worn on. You want nothing more than to get out of here and find your friends, but your father and his cronies show no signs of slowing down.

You sit, staring emptily at the plates, the little remaining morsels of the meal you spent all day cooking. You try to block out the laughter and jeering, the disgusting comments, the blatant disrespect, but it’s all getting to you, riling you up. You’re not sure how long you’ll last without snapping.

Your answer comes when your father looks at you. And he snaps his fucking fingers at the finished plates.

“Clear this up, Y/N.” He says.

You know your father. You know what he can be like, the damage he can do. Your ruined back is evidence enough. And you know the wisest and safest thing is for you to comply and rant about him to your friends later.

But you’re far beyond that point.

You meet his gaze, and your jaw ticks as you shoot back, “Why don’t you clear it up yourself?”

You regret it the second the room falls deathly silent. All the noise is gone in an instant. Every face is looking your way.

But it’s your father’s face you’re concerned with. The expression that tells you you’ve made a grave, grave mistake.

“What was that?” His voice is quiet. Too quiet.

You look away. Wish you could cram the words back down your throat. “Nothing.”

“It wasn’t nothing.” The male beside you sneers. “You speak to your father like that, girl? If you were my child, I’d string you up by the remains of those wings you never should have been born with.”

“I’d do a lot worse than that.” Another one remarks, a sickening laugh in his voice.

Throughout it all, your father is staring at you. Saying nothing.

“Did it hurt, anyway? Having them ripped off like that? I bet it did. I hope it did.”

Your final straw is when the pig at your side has the audacity to reach around and touch your back. You tense immediately, and you’re shooting up from your chair, knocking it over as you do.

“Don’t ever lay a finger on me again.” You will your voice to be stronger, firmer, but it won’t comply. You shake as you gather the plates up in your hand. “I’m cleaning this up.”

That’s met with a chorus of laughter, a pelting of comments. You tell yourself to block it out, block it the fuck out, balance as much as you reasonably can in your hands and book it into the kitchen. You dump the plates onto the counter and grip onto the sink basin, trying to draw in deep, slow breaths.

But then there are footsteps behind you. And the kitchen door closes. And you know that’s not good.

“Y/N.”

Your eyes shutter. You release one of those useless breaths before you dare to turn and face your father.

And when you do, his face is…soft. Eyes filled with concern.

But you’re not stupid enough to buy it.

You’re taut as a bowstring as he approaches you, stopping inches away. He drinks in the sight of you, tilting his head. You wait for him to tell you that you look just like your mother — a fact that only contributes to his vitriol. As if it’s your fault that she abandoned him, abandoned both of you.

He thinks it is.

His hand touches your cheek, his thumb sweeping the skin there. You swallow, hoping he can’t feel the way you tremble beneath him.

“What’s gotten into you, my girl?” He asks quietly. “What did I say about not ruining Solstice?”

You swallow. Lower your gaze. “I thought it would just be the two of us.”

“Do I not have the right to invite my friends into my home?”

“I’m just saying that a little bit of warning would have been appreciated. I didn’t spend hours cooking a meal just for your friends to come along and ruin it.”

“Your attitude has become insufferable. Perhaps it’s those three males you’ve been spreading your legs for. Giving you too much of an ego boost.”

You almost want to laugh in his face — laugh at his cluelessness. But your anger wins. Maybe you’re more like him than you ever thought.

“Or perhaps, father,” you snap, “it’s an accumulation of anger and desperation after twenty years of living with a repulsive, sanctimonious—”

He strikes you so hard that for a moment, you’re simply stunned as to why you’re suddenly on the floor. But the thwack of his hit rings in your ears, echoes through the kitchen.

And then the metallic taste of blood is coating the inside of your mouth. It’s streaming down your chin, and you’re not even sure where it’s all coming from, only that it hurts and your eyes are stinging.

Your father stares down at you. And in that moment, you realise that the eeriest thing of all is that he never glares at you. You think you’d prefer that.

He always stares with that emptiness. That icy vacancy. It makes his actions more unpredictable, more dangerous.

He lunges down so suddenly that you flinch, yanking you up by the front of your shirt. Your legs don’t want to comply as he shoves you towards the door.

“Get the fuck out of my house.” He hisses at you, ripping the door open. “Go on. Fuck off, just like your mother did.”

And then he’s shoving you into the snow, a plume of it erupting around you. You hardly notice the cold. You’re too stunned.

Not stunned enough, though, to refrain from biting back at him. Just like a threatened animal would.

“Fuck you.” You sneer, the words contorted by a mouthful of blood that you spit onto the snow. “Fuck you, father.”

The bastard laughs in your face. Just as he’s always laughed in your face. And then he kicks snow at you because he can and steps back into the house.

When the door shuts behind him, you push to your feet. You’re trembling all over. It might be the cold. It might be the shock.

There’s only one person you want to see right now. So you wrap your arms around yourself and head towards the dormitories.

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

Halfway through trudging across the camp, your shoes sodden with snow, your lip still bleeding, the emotions begin to hit.

You resent them. You resent feeling anything at all towards the male who is your only blood relative in this hollow, hollow place. The one who took your wings. The one who has tried to keep a firm grasp on the control he has over your life.

But you do feel things. Hurt and rage and humiliation and — bizarrely — betrayal. As if some small slither of hope had followed you from childhood into adulthood — that your father would one day miraculously awaken as a different person. A family member worth holding onto.

He never would.

No, your true family has always been the small, loving group that crams themselves into a cottage across the camp; a place of warmth and welcoming.

Rhysand and Cassian and Azriel. Rhysand’s mother, too. They are your family. They have always cared, since the moment you met them.

It’s for that reason that you persevere with your walk, even though you’re frozen to the bone. You think you might be crying. You’re not too sure anymore. Your friends will make it better. They always make it better.

The dormitories glow in the distance; a welcome sight, for once. You kick through the snow with desperation, and you’re definitely crying, definitely shaking all over, but the sounds of the celebrations coming from inside are a relief. Playful jeering and someone strumming a lute and off-kilter singing.

You push your way through the door. Inside is as crowded as you expect it to be, but you don’t even care. Anywhere is better than at home.

Your eyes — not really taking in much at all — scan the corridors, the common area, looking for any of your three closest friends. You see none of them, but a hand lands on your shoulder, and you turn to find Vegha there. Her eyes widen immediately at the state of you. You dread to think how bad you look.

“Y/N, what the fuck?” She blurts. “Why are you bleeding?”

“Fell over.” You know how stupid it sounds. “I…I need to find Azriel. Have you seen him?”

“Oh, I think he skulked off to his room a little while ago. Everyone knows he hates big parties like this—”

Perfect. You’ll hole up in his room together and block the rest of the world out. You’re already turning and pushing through people. You’ll apologise to Vegha for your rudeness later. Right now, you just need Azriel’s comfort, his love. The conversation you planned to have with him tonight is now a distant memory, an issue to confront later. You just…just want him. He always makes everything better.

You don’t notice the drink that gets spilled on you, or the disgruntled groups of people you have to shove through. None of that matters. Azriel is your family. He matters.

Finally, you make it to his room. The soft glow of faelights shine beneath the door — an indication he’s inside. You almost sob with relief as you grab the handle and burst in.

Two faces immediately look round at you.

Azriel’s.

Kaeda’s.

Kaeda lies on top of him, hands either side of his head. Her lips are swollen and inches from his. Azriel is palming at her waist, holding her against him. They’re both fully clothed, but…but you get the sense they wouldn’t have been for much longer, had it not been for your interruption.

Azriel drinks in the sight of you, his chest heaving. He blinks. You…you’re rooted to the spot.

And you fucking wince as Kaeda sits up slightly. Az’s hands fall back to his sides.

The beautiful female eyes you, tilting her head. And you want to get out of there, to fucking run, but you can’t do anything but stand and blink as something shatters inside of you.

“The shop hand from the forge.” Kaeda states in surprise, as if it’s ludicrous to consider that you might sometimes venture outside of your father’s workshop. “What happened to your face?”

Azriel is finally springing into action, then, sitting up and scooting out from beneath Kaeda. “Y/N…”

You cannot bear the gentleness of his voice. It may just finish you off.

All of this might. Staying here a second longer might.

So you, for some reason, shake your head and back slowly out of the room. Azriel lurches up, but you’re grabbing hold of the door handle firmly.

“Sorry for interrupting.” Your voice is all wrong and fractured. You quickly shut the door before it can morph into a sob.

You think Azriel might call after you, but it’s probably wishful thinking. You don’t know. Don’t know anything. Don’t know what to do next.

So you simply walk away.

You suppose you’ve taught Azriel everything he needs to know.

azriel tag list: @hanasakr @positivewitch @ruler-of-hades @brekkershadowsinger @nightscourtt @imperfect0angel @luna-1-3-5 @hyacinthoideshispanica @lucyysthings @lahoete @littlemoonash @blacksstarrynight @azriels-mate123 @ghostly-poetic @frieddesigninspiringquotesslime @a-frog-with-a-laptop @illyriansimp @morrie-rose @passingthroughfireandshadow @illyrian-dreamer @azrielsbabyg @96jnie @mich0731 @mulansaucey @truthtellerfanclub @acourtofbooksandmagic @insightsonmylife @basicbittywitty @curbside-cyanide @acourtofchaosandmess @123345566 @starrynights-frostbites @eos-princess @thesillyyogourt @ona-raising-07-l @acediahamartia @dontfollowmepleaseitsannoying @polli05927 @asdfjklbooks @azriel-luvr @amysangel @humanpersonlasttimeichecked @wildflowernightmere @audie-writes @aaronwarnerswifereal @starxqt @lulufairbank @laurzwrites @livelaughlovenestaarcheron @girlwith-thecinder-blockgarden @jjlevin @smitty-werbenjagermenjenson @spikertrash @kindagoldylocks @barbiezambie @kht1998 @soupghoul @nyctophiliawitch @gracie1234567891011 @gaymistakeboi @luvmxo @rinalouu @microwaveallthedemons @starlightshowdown

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ohdeerfully · 3 months

Note

hi! I have a request, I've never really done this before but I'll give it a shot. so my request is that Charlie is tasked by heaven to watch over a very special human soul via a device that is like a full 360 VR kind of setup and this soul just so happens to be Alastor's immortal wife (he didn't know she was) whom he thought had died with him during a bad event and wound up in heaven but she didn't and She stayed the same since the 1930s like her looks stayed the same and her love for Alastor stayed too she never once tried to move on even when her new friends in this time tried to get her a guy but she just refused still wearing the wedding ring her gave her

I hope it's not too much to ask it can be changed to whatever you see if you have full creative control over it!

thank you for your brain anon

theres a couple awkward POV shifts in the story and im super duper sorry about that D: im not good at those

An Eternity

alastor x reader (angst) TW: reader is female, reader gets a lil drunk and drives but shes fine(i do not condone this pls dont drink and drive im so serious), yearning goes ouchie ):

join my discord!

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Alastor rarely, if ever, talked about his time alive. He saw it pointless; a waste of time and energy. How could it benefit him if somebody else knew his history? If anything, it would only open up weak points. And, being an Overlord, he couldn’t afford that.

The only hint of his past was a band on his finger that he never took off. Even after decades in Hell, nobody saw him without it.

People often asked, of course, because how in the Hell did the Radio Demon get hitched? Even in life, he was probably just as unusual and off putting. These questions were always met with a dismissive wave and a laugh, but anybody who knew him—which wasn’t many, truly—would recognize the strain in his voice as he brushed them off. Whatever the story was seemed to only grow more painful with time.

He was deep in thought, humming absently as he trailed through the hotel. He ended up meandering by Charlie’s room, which was cracked open. He took this as an invitation to let himself in, cheerfully grinning as he saw the girl sitting on the edge of her bed looking extremely confused.

“Hello, dear!” He announced himself, standing up straight and fixing his bowtie with one hand. “What does this afternoon have in store for the Princess of Hell?”

“Heyy, Al,” Charlie responded, still frowning at the contraption in her hand. It was a rather bulky thing; an unappealing piece of new technology, Alastor decided. Still, he loomed from behind Charlie with a curious bend in his neck. Her shoulders were stiff, and he couldn’t tell if it was from frustration with the thing in her hand or discomfort at him watching her.

“What is that peculiar thing?” He finally asked, since Charlie made no attempt at explanation. She seemed too focused to really pay him any mind.

“Something Heaven gave me to watch some curious soul they can’t control,” She murmured, fiddling with a couple buttons and knobs. “They’ve got me doing some ridiculous things. I mean, some human soul shouldn’t even concern me. But, they promise these favors will help with my hotel.”

Alastor hummed in response. He of all demons would recognize a manipulation tactic when he saw one—convincing a powerful demon princess to do your chores and promising to help her desperate project in return seemed like something the angels would do. He didn’t care one way or another, as long as Charlie’s naivete didn’t get in the way of his own goals.

He took a few steps back when Charlie stood, seemingly finished with setting up the box. He grinned, amused, when she pulled it over her head. It wasn’t the most flattering thing, and pretty bulky on her face. She looked ridiculous, honestly.

“Modern technology,” He sighed dramatically, leaning down onto his cane as he continued to observe her. “Only getting uglier.”

Charlie didn’t respond to his comment, looking around at what Alastor saw as nothing. She played around with the settings again, and adjusted the straps on her head again, before looking around again. She let out a successful sounding “hell yes” before pulling a remote of sorts from her pocket. She pushed on a joystick.

“What are you doing?” Alastor asked plainly, the building curiosity finally becoming too much. “Why do you have a box on your head?”

“It’s like…” She began to explain, trying to think of how to make sense of it to him. “Like… imagine you were looking through the eyes of somebody else, but still standing in the same spot..?” Her voice tilted at the end, unsure of her explanation.

Yeah, no, Alastor had no clue. But he dismissed it as unnecessary, as he often did with any technology he couldn’t understand.

“I’m seeing… Earth, I guess,” Charlie explained more. “Following around this girl.”

Alastor was only partially listening, humming quietly to himself as he just observed. He wondered if he should just leave—nothing interesting was happening. He was curious to see what antics Heaven was pushing on the Princess of Hell, though.

“Wanna try?” Charlie offered, lifting the headset up away from her eyes. Alastor immediately scrunched his nose up and narrowed his eyes.

“And look as ridiculous as you? Hah! No thank you,” He sat down on a chair near the wall, leaning against the back of it. He threw one leg up over the other. Charlie shrugged in response, and pulled the contraption back down.

Alastor sat for a while, absently thinking about what he wanted to do later as he waited for something to happen.

“Oh! Hold on,” Charlie suddenly said, causing Alastor’s ears to straighten to attention as she reached up and pressed a button. A holographic projection appeared out of nowhere, manifesting through some strange magic. “Forgot I could do that. This is what I’m seeing in here.”

Alastor stood and walked closer, leaning forward on his cane as he studied the projection. It seemed like some kind of bar. He mused at how different modern bars looked from the speakeasies he would frequent during his own life.

“What heavenly task are you doing in a bar?” He joked, trying to find something interesting in the projection. It just seemed like generic bar business. Loud, flirtatious women and boisterous, over confident men. That, at least, was the same from his day.

“Like I said earlier,” Charlie explained, looking around the room. The projection seemed to follow her movement, and Alastor recognized that he was basically seeing through her eyes. How curious. “There’s some… soul they lost control of. And they want me to report to them about her.”

Alastor was very curious to see what kind of soul broke from control of literal heaven. He watched rather intently, leaned forward against his cane to watch the projection.

Charlie turned another knob, and the sound of tacky pop music and loud chatter began to emanate from the bar scene. Alastor wasn’t a fan of newer music, but he was often forced to listen anyway in the hotel lobby.

“Is it possible to turn down that dreadful noise?” He complained to her, announcing his dissatisfaction.

“No. I need to be able to hear what the woman is saying,” Charlie answered stubbornly. Alastor’s microphone of a cane began to obnoxiously play a song of his choice for a moment in retaliation, but died down after a few moments. After all, Charlie ignored his attempt at aggravation, so there was no point in keeping it up.

Charlie looked around the bar, searching. Finally, her gaze settled on a fancier booth with half drawn curtains. From her angle, she could only see a woman. She looked frustrated.

“---get out of your shell! It’s about time you start talking to some guys for once,” Charlie caught the tail end of the woman’s statement. She was gesturing wildly around, exasperation evident in the jagged movements. “I’m sick of watching you pine for somebody who’s been gone for ages.”

★

“Ten years isn’t ages, Mechiele,” You drew your finger against the table, making shapes with the rim of water that the condensation from your glass left. Nearly a hundred years, more like, You commented to yourself. You never told anybody that you were an immortal being. Nobody believed you when you did, anyway.

You sat your cheek against the palm of your hand and lifted your gaze to your friend, who looked at you with a sharp frown. You shot her a weak smile.

“Can you just drop it?” You asked, nearly pleading. You didn’t want to cry tonight, being a little tipsy—you were an emotional drunk. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself blabbering about a dead husband.

“Come on,” Mechiele said impatiently, pushing your pleas aside. “There’s so many hot guys in here, I bet one would just love to take a piece of work like you home and-”

“Mechiele.” You hoped your tone was enough to shut her up.

You should’ve known better, honestly. Mechiele was already abrasive when she was sober, but with the amount of drinks she’s had tonight…

“No, no, no! You bum! Get your ass up right now and get out there! And take that ring off while you’re at it!”

Mechiele quickly lunged at you, a much too playful look in her eye considering how pissed you were right now. You yanked your arm away from her grasp, cupping your hand protectively with the other, shielding the golden band on your finger from her.

“Fucking drop it!” You snapped at her, standing from your seat. “I’m going home. You’re too drunk. I’ll drive.”

“You’re so fucking lame,” Mechiele droned, falling back into her seat. She wouldn’t budge when you urged her to stand and come with you. “He’s fuckin’ dead! Get a new man, already! Alastor’s not-”

Mechiele stopped abruptly when you smacked her. It wasn’t an incredibly hard smack or anything, barely enough to leave a red bloom on her cheek, but it was enough. She looked at you through narrowed eyes. You returned the same expression.

You left the booth and stormed off, cursing under your breath about it all. About Mechiele, about this stupid bar, about the tipsy feeling in your head, about Alastor—

You folded your arms together as you briskly walked to your car, yelling in frustration at your heels and ripping them off your feet. The ground was a little wet and cold, but you didn’t care. After making it to your car, you threw yourself in an switched it on.

You thought for a few moments. You were lightheaded after a few drinks, but you really didn’t want to wait for a taxi. You’d probably be fine, yeah? Sure. Against your better judgment, you began to drive.

It was a long drive, but it gave you some time to think.

You missed him. You pined for him. Nearly every night was agony, missing the presence of the only man you’ve ever fallen in love with.

You cursed whatever higher power there was for making you this way—immortal. How cruel it was, to make you live forever to suffer this longing. You didn’t even notice when you ended up in your room, but you let yourself fall face first onto your bed, curling up into a ball.

Even more, you cursed yourself for ever falling in love. You should’ve known it would only lead to an endless torture of heartbreak. You would never love anybody the same; although, you don’t think you’d want to, even if you could.

You were born to suffer. To spend an eternity in life without him.

★

Charlie continued to watch in shock for a few moments, her mouth dropped at the mention of the Radio Demon’s name. The previously hidden woman stepped from the bar, a furious look in her eyes as she stormed away. Mechiele was left with stubbornly folded arms and an empty glass of alcohol.

“Heyyy, uh, Al, how common is your name..? Do you know…” Charlie asked a bit awkwardly. She got no response. She lifted the headset, and realized he was gone. Even still, there seemed to be a lingering feeling of intense static, and the air somehow felt a bit heavier than before.

★

This had to be some cruel, sick joke, right? Heaven had to be toying with him, finally finding a way to torture his soul. His wife—she was dead. It had been nearly a hundred years since he died, and even if she had lived till she was old—

Alastor was pacing his room, ears pinned and eyes wide in frantic thought. Oh, how he yearned for her. He had managed for so long to push the memory of her away, to lock up his loss in a tight cage as he climbed the ranks of hell; it had all come rushing, barreling, torrenting back when he had seen her—or, no, somebody that looked like her—step out of those curtains. It was only a coincidence that that woman looked like his wife, and only a coincidence that she had a dead husband that shared his name.

His wife was in heaven, no doubt; which was where she belonged, of course, but Alastor had spent the last decade pining for somebody who he could never see again. If given the choice, Alastor wasn’t so sure himself if he was kind enough as to not tear her soul from Heaven and down to Hell by his side. Alternatively, even if Charlie’s idea of redemption were to work, Alastor was truly irredeemable. It was all wistful thinking, anyway.

Alastor’s claws dug into the curtains of his window, staring out into the streets of Hell in an attempt to concentrate on one steady stream of thought.

When billions of people touch the Earth, it’s only natural that coincidences like this rise. Right? He tried desperately to convince himself of different possibilities. It just made no sense.

A knocking at his door made Alastor’s grin curl in deadly malice. He really wasn’t in the mood.

He paced to his door, opened it just enough to fit his body in the frame, and glared down at Charlie. She was wringing her hands together nervously, and only seemed to grow more timid as the heavy, almost palpable ambience of his radio static filled the hallway she stood in.

“I’m busy,” Alastor said bluntly. His lips were curled in a sneer.

“I can tell,” Charlie responded. "I know you don't like talking about yourself-" She began to ramble on about him talking to her about his feelings and whatnot, but Alastor didn’t listen as he shut the door again.

Though, the interruption did give his mind a chance to slow. He sat on a chair in the corner of his room, and opted to fiddle with the radio on the drawer next to him. He tuned it—or, more just magically infused it—to play some jazz to try to keep his head level.

It would take some time to rebuild the dam that held back the memories of his wife. Even just the mere thought of her made him feel weak, and he hated it. The only soul he was capable of falling in love with—gone, forever.

Alastor never took the whole “eternity of damnation” thing seriously, considering the power he held and how comfortable he really was in Hell. However, when he remembered her—

Hell truly was torture. And he was cursed to spend his eternity in death without her.

#ohdeerfully #hazbin hotel #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor x reader angst #angst #mutual pining OM NOM NOM NOM #i love angst im sorry guys

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love-toxin · 2 months

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just read your latest billy fic and am now obsessed with the idea of billy babytrapping you and/or having a massive, unhinged breeding kink. in his mind you won't ever leave him if he gets you pregnant.

(please bear with my ramblings below)

billy obsessively tracking your cycle and going at it like rabbits when you're ovulating. sex that goes on for HOURS because he wants to get multiple loads inside of you, just to be sure. plugging you up afterward so all his cum stays inside. constantly telling you what a good parent you would be, and how beautiful your children would be because he's pretty, and you're pretty, so it just makes sense, right?

I really think he'd get so delusional about it. burying his face in your arousal and insisting he can tell you're fertile just by the smell/taste. bending down to whisper in your ear only to tell you how full and achey his balls are getting. leaving you little gifts but they're all pregnancy tests or baby clothes. forget whatever stage of a relationship or situationship you guys are in, he's starting a family with you. he'd get such an ecstatic glint in his eye when you finally tell him you're pregnant. don't get me started on the pregnant belly worship.

tl;dr if billy fucks me and I'm not sitting in a puddle of his cum afterwards, I don't want it‼️🗣

PRRRRRR!!!! yes. im into it. now u have to bear with MY ramblings

(cws: babytrapping, fem pronouns)

Feels like babytrapper Billy is an untapped gold mine--it's less that he wants a baby at first and mostly just that he wants control over you, but that switches up real fast when you actually get knocked up. When you actually wanna be sweet about it. Fussing about cribs and a nursery and having enough baby clothes, making him take you to the ultrasound appointments and actually getting a 'tude with him because he did this to you and now he's gonna have to deal with just as much as you have to carrying his baby.

But Billy ends up loving the shit out of it. He loves your attitude. He loves your mood swings. He loves your hormonal cravings and your tears when you throw up morning after morning. He loves holding your hair back and stuffing your bed full of pillows so you're comfortable, and he loves laying his head on your belly and hearing those little gurgles and feeling those little kicks from his baby.

At the same time, however, it makes him emotional. If this is how he feels before his baby is even here, then why would...how could his father ever treat him the way he does, and did? How could anybody do that to a kid? It makes him angry at himself for the way he was treated and the way he took that out on Max, too. He's got lots of apologies to make. Those experiences don't take up all his attention, though--he has a pretty partner to care for now, and having that to fill his time over bouncing from party to party and girl to girl just to feel something makes him unbelievably satisfied.

It honestly makes him glad that he never knocked anyone up accidentally leading up to when he met you. It had to be you, he knows that now. It had to be you that he coerced, begged, and fucked into submission to make you his, it had to be your womb that he wanted so badly to break and your pussy he wanted to risk going raw into. Wouldn't you just be the cutest with a baby, anyways? You're such a catch and you're so pretty. You'd make such adorable babies. It's obvious he never wanted to be one of those guys with a handful of baby mamas and kids he rarely sees; he wants you and your kids and that's it. It's official--you've hooked Hawkins' resident playboy into a dedicated partner and father, whether you wanted to or not.

If there's one thing he loves most about your pregnancy though, it's that he loves your neediness. He loves that something seems to click in you that makes you pine for the man whose seed you've sown, like there's an invisible connection between you two that pulls you both closer. It's like you're instinctually drawn to him and he hopes, god he hopes that continues after you've had the baby. He's ready to make love to a woman after she's had a child (after you've healed sufficiently, of course, he can wait) it's like that next stage of maturity for him. He can't wait to see how far you've come and how much you've sacrificed just to have his baby, and he can't wait to look you in the eyes and tell you he wants another. No, he doesn't want you to work off the baby weight first or fuss with your hair or your clothes to try and get back to looking like you were before. He wants you now. As you are. Raw. He's sick of those prissy party-girl snobs and their perfect bodies and their permed hair that they can't let get messed up. He wants the woman who stays up all night feeding his daughter and rolls her eyes at his flirting attempts in the morning. He's totally whipped, and even with those bags under your eyes and that tension headache behind his from the crying of his precious baby girl, he still wants another. And he's got ways of making sure that you do, too...after all, he got you into it the first time, right?

#billy hargrove #billy x reader #billy hargrove x reader #stranger things #spicy writing #ellie writes #anons

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elvensorceress · 2 months

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idk I get incredibly angry at homophobes being cast on my gay shows. anybody want the start of my fic where Eddie dumps her bigoted ass and then has a gay ole sexy time with his husband and his husband's new boyfriend? because here. you can have. it's cathartic 💕

test drive - 2K, BuckTommy, BuckEddieTommy, Buddie endgame forever / Explicit

The restaurant is dimly lit in a way that might be classy and romantic, but Tommy’s hand is also on Buck’s thigh. And he’s having a lot of very not-classy, not even very romantic sorts of thoughts. Everything is far more along the lines of, he could put his hand on my dick, and I know what his cock feels like down my throat, and why are we here in a public place when we could be back at my loft taking turns fucking each other until we’re both a mess of cum and lube and sweat and sexy bruises and love bites? Because all of that is way more appealing than what they are sitting here, waiting to do.

If it were just one of their dates, it’d be great. Those are fantastic. Tommy likes to pick him up and take him to nice places and he smiles in a really, really soft cute way that also has an air of, I am going to fuck you until you scream and you will love every second. And holy fucking god, does Buck love every second.

Bisexuality, man. Who knew?

It’s so fantastic. It’s so different? Or maybe it’s just that Tommy is different because he’s ridiculously cool and hot and Buck always really liked when someone knew what they wanted and would take the lead and he could do everything in his power to please them and make them feel good. Confidence is infinitely sexy and competence even more so. And Tommy has all of that in spades.

And Buck loves men. Buck really loves men. It makes so much sense and how had he never even considered? Maybe he considered but he sure as hell never realized wanting a man and being attracted to a man was something that fit so well. Fuck, it fits so well.

Maybe he could even end up with a man someday? Maybe he could marry a man and have a relationship that is like this all the time for the rest of his life? Not that he doesn’t like women still. Women are great. People who don’t identify as either or they identify as both or however they choose— they’re great, too.

Everyone is hot and Evan Buckley is very bisexual, and it just might be one of the greatest revelations he’s ever had.

He’s just really, really enjoying being with a man right now.

He is not, however, enjoying the thought of this dinner. Everything about this dinner makes his stomach a washing machine of anxiety. For no reason. He doesn’t know why. There’s nothing wrong with it.

Why wouldn’t he and his boyfriend go on a double date with his best friend who is their mutual friend, and his best friend’s girlfriend. What is wrong with that? It’s fine. Should be— fun?

Shouldn’t be a bad taste in his mouth that the wine still hasn’t gotten rid of and roiling in his stomach that is really killing his appetite. But it very much is.

Tommy squeezes Buck’s thigh and rubs it in a way that surely is supposed to be comforting. But it makes Buck want to drag him out of this restaurant and back to the loft where he can show Tommy how good he is at fucking him now. Not just because it would be a thousand times better than the prospect of this dinner. The bar is so low on the ground, it’s buried at this point. But also because sex with his new boyfriend is better than— actually, Buck is having a hard time thinking of anything that is better right now.

Very hard time.

They’ve been practicing. Everything. Blowjobs, fucking, fingering, ball massages, prostate milking, rimming— all sorts of really fun things Buck never even imagined could feel so good. Not that he was oblivious to a lot of it. He has toys. His ex was into pegging. Buck might have been unaware of how intense and gay— well, bi. He’s bi now. Buck is bi now. Probably always was but he knows it now. He’s bisexual.— his attraction to men could be. But he was not unaware of sexual acts that feel good to his body.

But it’s totally different with a real man and a real cock and being manhandled by someone who might actually be bigger and stronger than you is really fucking hot.

He checks his watch again and it’s already 7:28. They’re almost half an hour late. Which is so not like Eddie. He’s not sure if Marisol is like that but he knows for sure Eddie is either fifteen minutes early for everything or he texts if there is a problem. Even then, he’s only ever a few minutes late. If that. And last Buck checked, there were no new messages on his phone.

He checks again, and still nothing. Not even to Buck’s message of, hey u ok? u on the way? He frowns and sets his phone back on the table and turns to Tommy. “How long before I’m allowed to be really worried?”

Tommy gives him an amused smile. “You can be worried.”

“How long before we need to bother Athena? Ten more minutes? Five? Sh-should I bother Athena now?”

Tommy’s eyebrows scrunch and he looks at Buck like he’s crazy. Okay, it’s probably crazy. Just. He’s worried? That must be the churning in his stomach. “I’m sure Eddie’s fine. It hasn’t been that long. And he’s Eddie.”

Yeah. Yeah, he’s Eddie. But Eddie was also shot downtown in the middle of broad daylight and nearly bled out all over, and there’s not much anyone can do even if they are trained in hand to hand combat and self-defense and those kinds of things. Not many ways to defend against a sniper round that shouldn’t even be a thing.

Not that Buck is thinking about that. Ever.

He’s just turning into a washing machine over this dinner. That’s all.

Five minutes later, some of it finally eases when Eddie finally shows up and sits down across from them. Alone.

Alone?

“Sorry, guys,” Eddie runs a hand through his hair and breathes like he’s run a hundred miles. He’s hardly been looking distressed at all lately. He’s been glowing smiles and pretty laughs. Not pretty. Nice? Good? Good that he’s so much happier and at peace.

But he’s not that now.

“I would’ve—” Eddie checks his own watch, one that was a Christmas present that Buck had engraved with, all the time you need, and must realize how late he actually is. “Fuck. Sorry. Really sorry. I’ll buy? Unless you’ve already eaten and paid and are about to leave.”

Tommy shakes his head and has that nice smile that’s so reassuring. “We haven’t. Don’t worry about it.”

“We were waiting,” Buck adds and itches to ask him what’s wrong, why he’s late, why he looks— like he isn’t okay.

“Great.” Eddie nods tersely and it sounds anything but great. “They got anything stronger than wine and cocktails here? Because—” He doesn’t say. But he does make a face the conveys everything.

“Doubt it,” Tommy says. “But we can get something somewhere else. Is Mar— Mari?”

“Marisol,” Buck supplies. Not that it matters. Not that he cares. Is he supposed to care? There’s nothing wrong with her. She’s fine.

“Right,” Tommy says, which should say everything. Eddie’s been hanging out with Tommy for months, Buck’s been with Tommy for months, and Tommy is pretty damn good at remembering people’s names. “Marisol. Is she still on the way?”

Eddie’s jaw gets very tight. “No. We’re done.”

Tommy looks at Buck and Buck looks at Tommy. They’re done? They broke up? Not that it’s particularly surprising. Part of the curse of dating someone you met on a call. Gotta be. Also the whole thing where Eddie has some kind of commitment issues or something because as soon as he gets a girlfriend, he has to spend all his time doing anything besides being with said girlfriend.

“So, drinking?” Tommy says.

Buck pushes his wine glass across the table. They usually share when they eat together. Drinks, food, anything. And he’s happy to offer it to the cause.

“Yes, drinking.” Eddie takes Buck’s wine and downs all of it.

Eddie’s single again. Marisol isn’t coming to dinner and she’s not part of their lives any longer. Not that Buck has a problem with her. She’s fine. She was nothing really. That wasn’t going to last. Eddie likes the idea of being with someone. So he says. He’s allergic to actually having a relationship for some reason.

The washing machine in Buck’s stomach disappears though. Which is so much better. Now, it’s just Buck hanging out with his best friend and his boyfriend.

Maybe there’s a little washing machine. It’s nothing though.

They order food and drinks, and Eddie only goes through a couple shots and three glasses of wine and one beer. But he eats and also drinks water and doesn’t seem inebriated at all. So, they focus on the meal and Tommy’s latest work stories of helicopter rescues.

It’s not until after Buck discreetly hands their waiter his credit card before they’re actually brought the bill, that Eddie actually starts talking.

“I kind of fucked up. Didn’t mean to. I owe you an apology,” he says and looks at Buck with worlds of regret and sorrow.

Whatever it is, Buck forgives him. He’s sure he’s done far worse than whatever it is. “Why? What, uh, what happened?”

Eddie doesn’t look at him. Or Tommy. He does shake his head but not like he’s saying no. More like he’s disgusted. “I let it slip that you two are— that you’re. Dating. Together. Boyfriends? Do you call each other that? Are you boyf— never mind, I let it slip. I’m sorry. That was my bad. Not my secret to tell.”

Tommy looks scrunched and confused again and Buck— he doesn’t understand what the problem is? No, he hasn’t told many people yet. But it’s not a secret that he and Tommy are together.

“Eds,” Buck says and immediately thinks he probably shouldn’t have called him that. He doesn’t know why. But he shouldn’t. “It’s fine. I’m not— It’s not a secret. I’m not hiding. Or— or in the closet? I’m out. Now. I’m bi and—” And he’s really happy about that. He really loves it. He’s bisexual. He loves women and men and whoever regardless of gender. And holy shit, does he love men right now. He really, really loves being with a man. He looks to his side and grins brightly at Tommy. “And I’m not ashamed or embarrassed that Tommy and I are together.”

There’s a cute half smile that curves the side of Tommy’s mouth and Buck so wants to kiss him. And do all sorts of other things with him.

“Well. Good.” Eddie taps his finger on an empty shot glass like he’s contemplating ordering another. “Still. Didn’t go well. Didn’t mean to out you like that.”

“Didn’t go well?” Tommy asks. “Saying that Evan and I are dating didn’t go well?”

Eddie purses his lips and does a slow, exaggerated shake of his head. “Nope. But at least I learned that now. Has the waiter brought our check yet? Because I’m just going to drink more if I don’t head out soon. Not that I’m sad about her or anything. I’m pissed. You think you know someone, and no. No, she’s a raging homophobe.”

She— oh. Oh, that’s what happened. “She broke up with you because we’re gay? Bi and gay? Or— you know what I mean.” Is Tommy gay? Or bi? Or something else? Buck hasn’t actually asked what label he uses. How he qualifies his sexuality. He felt weird asking. It’s so personal. Is he supposed to ask? All he knows is that Tommy was into him. Tommy kissed him and it was breathtaking, incredible, magnificent and changed Buck’s whole life. He didn’t really think anything beyond that. Couldn’t really think beyond that.

Eddie definitively points at himself and then at phantom nothingness. “I dumped her. Because I said this was a double date with you guys and she said, well not really, and I said, no really. It’s a double date. Her and me and both of you. Double date. Except not her. Ever. Anymore. Because she had to go off about how it was wrong and made her uncomfortable and I ‘let both of you be alone with Christopher?’ And it couldn’t possibly be a date like me and her would go on a date because she’s a woman and I’m a man and that was normal. But you two are both men. Both muscular, powerful, masculine, manly firemen type men— so it could never be the same especially because neither one of you are flamey or girly or whatever, so it could never work, the two of you since neither one of you is ‘The Girl.’ Which is all bullshit. By the way. Obviously. And,” he finally stops and breathes, and there’s a hard swallow in his throat and his eyes are distant and his whole body is strung tight and if he could breathe fire? He probably would. Holy shit, he’s pissed off. Buck isn’t even sure he’s ever seen Eddie this angry at anyone who hasn’t hurt someone he loves.

Although. Technically she did? Not hurt per se, Buck doesn’t give a shit about what she thinks of him. But she was insulting them. So. Yeah, okay, of course fiercely protective Eddie would be angry.

“And anyway,” Eddie says, still never quite looking at Buck or even at Tommy. Never quite focusing on them. “That’s how I’m single and back on the market again.” He smiles a wide, bitter, snarky kind of smile, and steals the half-full beer glass in front of Buck and downs it in one gulp.

(Read on AO3)

#buddie #bucktommy #jenwyn wip #buddie wip #almost done with the whole thing should be up in the next day or so #911 abc #fic: test drive

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catcze · 8 months

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Reblogs are greatly appreciated !!

Wriothesley always makes it a point to stay sober if you drink. Whether it's in one of those upscale clubs on the surface or in the safety of his office in the fortress, he absolutely refuses to touch even a single drop of alcohol when you're even the slightest bit inebriated.

Once, a few shots of tequila in, you asked him why he doesn't ever get drunk with you.

"Taking care of you all tipsy and slurring will always beat out getting drunk, sweetheart," he had told you.

And Wriothesley wasn't lying, either. To him, seeing you slurring and clingy and stumbling over your own two feet as you reach towards him is one of the cutest things ever. He enjoys being able to cradle your warm body close, being able to stroke your hair and take care of you when you let your guard down around him.

Like now, for instance. You're both in his office, a half-full bottle of Snezhenayan Firewater left on his desk, with you sitting horizontally on his lap, curling into his chest. One of Wriothesley's hands curls around your waist, keeping you safe and secure in case you drunkenly lean too far back, while the other holds you close and strokes your hair. You're nuzzled under his neck, breath tickling his collarbone with each exhale and making goosebumps rise on his skin.

Earlier he'd kissed your forehead whenever you began rambling about this and that, and had offered up his hands or his necktie for you to play with whenever you got restless. But it's been a while since then, and Wriothesley can tell when you're slowly drifting off to sleep. With each passing second your eyes grow more and more droopy, and you lean more and more of your weight into the muscled planes of his body. It doesn't help when he begins murmuring into your ear, the rumbling of his chest under you making you so damn sleepy.

And when you yawn, oh, Wriothesley can feel his heart kick in his chest because you're so cute and he's so endeared by you that he genuinely thinks you've broken him for anybody else.

He wants to let you sleep immediately, he really does, but he knows you'll kill him come morning for not forcing you to brush your teeth or wash your face. So he stands, one arm behind your back and the other under your knees, cradling you close as he tries his best to meander out of the office without jostling you too badly.

"Sweetheart," He whispers into your ear, pressing a kiss to your temple. "I know you're sleepy, but you have to brush your teeth and wash your face first, okay? I'll help though, don't worry."

And you sigh a little, melting into his hold and nuzzling close. A kiss is pressed to his shoulder, the only place you can reach without straining too badly. Sleepily, you mumble. "Mmkay, Wrio. Thanks. Love you."

And this —his heart leaps in his chest, his face heats with a blush and he can wholly feel the way his gaze softens— this is the reason why he stays sober whenever you drink. Because nothing in the world can ever be better than being able to take care of you when you need him.

#「 🐈‍⬛ 」 catcze.desserts #Wriothesley x reader #genshin impact x reader #cw gn reader #cw alcohol #Wriothesley #Genshin Impact

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chrollohearttags · 5 months

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sister cherry can we get some more sfw firefigher!ace hcs that you have in the vaults. i love him down 🥹🤲🏿🤲🏿

ask and you shall surely receive, my love!! y’all know how I feel about this mannnn omg. him and his stupid smile are in my cranium rent free 😫 driving me insane.

⚠️: fluff, comedy, light kissing and him being an absolute sweetheart

FIREFIGHTER ACE HEADCANONS: PART TWO • SFW EDITION

firefighter!ace is unironically and blissfully unaware of the fact that he’s kind of Twitter/TikTok famous. Somebody happened to get a picture of him and a bunch of other first responders at an event and now he’s known on social media as ‘Firefighter Bae.’ Now he used it to his advantage to post workout vids, safety tips and humor about some of the things they encounter on the job.

firefighter!ace has a special lapel pin he always wears on his uniform or on his persons that he got from his crew mate, who passed in a fire years ago.

firefighter!ace has the HARDEST time letting the pets go from rescues. It can be someone’s dog with a whole name and address on the tag but he’s holding him like it’s his own.

“Are you sure we can’t keep him?” “Ace, give those people their dog so we can go!”

firefighter!ace adoresss kids! He’s always the first pick of the schools for fire safety day because he’s so charismatic and fun that the children just cling to him. Taking them on the fire truck, letting them wear the gear and even playing with them. He was such a natural, you became flustered and began to like him even more.

firefighter!ace gets along with all of your friends/roommates..a little too well in fact! Always going to Robin to snitch on you or Nami to gossip about how temperamental you are! But they adore him so much.

“You know how she is, she won’t listen to anybody.” “Tell me about it, she’s so hardheaded.” “Y’all do know I’m right here, don’t you? I can hear you!”

firefighter!ace owns a motorcycle and is an avid biker. He and his friends race + have their own lil club. He also brought you a matching jacket/helmet to ride with him.

firefighter!ace is suuuper affectionate. His love language is physical touch and always being near his s/o. All but gave up on being discreet when you guys FINALLY started dating and would kiss you on the cheek or grab your waist in front of the whole crew.

“What? I can’t kiss my wife? Assholes.” “You just started dating a month ago, calm down!

firefighter!ace loves when you play with his hair and lets him lay his head in your lap. He finds comfort in it after long days and rough calls. He’s already narcoleptic but he sleeps like a baby when you’re near him. Bonus points if you sing to him, he’s out like a light!

firefighter!ace loves dancing and he’s pretty good at it too.

firefighter!ace wears a matching beaded bracelet or necklace with your name/initials on it all the time. Carries it with him wherever he goes and always kisses it before going into a dangerous situation. And vice versa..to have each other’s strength. Even when you can’t show it.

firefighter!ace is incredibly bashful, despite his appearance, personality and reputation as a playboy. He gets insecure occasionally that you’ll find better.

“I know it’s not much, rookie. But I wanted to get you something. Just to show how proud I was of you..you did amazing on that call today.” “I know you can do better, I’m just happy you’re in my life.” “Oh shut up. As if anyone else could actually handle me. And I guess I’m kinda in love with you.”

firefighter!ace is never hesitant to tell you he loves you because he doesn’t know if it’ll ever be his last time saying it. So he doesn’t shy away from a moment to express his feelings.

firefighter!ace likes to show off during workouts by letting you sit on his back as he does pushups. But he knows you’re no princess and he’ll eventually get challenged by you to see who can do the most. (Of course placing a small wager to sweeten the deal.)

“Seriously, rookie. Here I am trying to be romantic and cool, and you ruin it. Such a goddamned brat.” “You were trying to showboat, you arrogant bastard and look where that got you. Now pay up.”

firefighter!ace LOVESSS watching you do your hair and going to the beauty supply with you. He loves the smell of all the natural oils and even asks you to pick him out some stuff. He doesn’t mind helping twist in a braid or two either. Once he gets the hang of it, this man is in your head like he’s a professional! Doing crochet, locs and all.

“Can you do the blonde braids again? They’re my favorite on you. Plus they look good with the uniform.” “You say that about all of them!”

firefighter!ace truly does love being in your presence. Whether it’s rushing through burning buildings or a chill night in his apartment, surrounded by ambient lighting and faux plants as the two of you cuddle…as long as he’s with you, it’s his happy place.

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cannellee · 5 months

Text

NARUTO OMEGAVERSE ☆

alpha!sasuke x alpha!naruto x omega!reader (f)

— what is it like being team 7's omega ?

my masterlist : ☆

ALPHA!NARUTO X ALPHA!SASUKE

the moment it was announced that you were going to be a part of naruto and sasuke's team, you knew it would be difficult.

being both alphas, they're naturally in competition most of the time, but adding an omega to their quarrel made things even worse.

it's in their nature to seek their close omega friends' attention. you didn't particularly favour any of them, but naruto was ready to prove anyone else he could be a better partner to you than sasuke.

from this day on, the two of them started to fight even more than usual.

THEIR DYNAMICS

sasuke is a silent type of alpha, but you noticed he didn't particularly try to drive you away. he didn't seem to get annoyed either when you talked to him, you figured it was a privilege reserved to naruto alone.

actually, it's safe to say that sasuke always made sure you were out of danger while out on missions.

he wasn't exactly doubting your level, but he didn't trust you and your abilities fully. his nature made it hard for him to just ignore an omega in possible danger.

it was kind but subtle gestures, noticable to those who paid attention.

whereas for naruto, he was eager to replace you, to tell you to stay away and let him do the work. he didn't mean to come off as condescending nor disrespectful, he was just extremely preoccupied by your safety and wanted to show you he could take care of you.

it didn't take much time for you guys to become a real little pack. both had their antics and grudges, but deep down you knew they both liked each other in their own way.

you played a big part on how they interacted with each other, without you realising. your calming presence and gentle scent helped the two alphas chill down a bit.

your nurturing instincts also contribute to the cohesion of your team. you sometimes act like a mediator, having little to no trouble to resolve conflicts. kakashi has even given up trying to appease those two when they start arguing and directly lets you do your thing. you always succeed in maintaining a good harmony between the three of you, he's really thankful!

your secret trick is letting naruto scent you as long as he wants, he loves to be able to claim you like this, it appeases him so much! it does get on the nerves of sasuke who curses at him to let you go though.

moreover, they may fight once in a will and throw snarky remarks to the other, but if it comes to you, your safety or your mood, they immediately work hand in hand to reassure you.

it would be one of the rare time you'll hear sasuke be so openly mean at someone. he doesn't even foster the idea of an enemy targeting you.

come back injured and you'll be heavily questioned so he can track the one responsible.

both care so much about you, it's safe to say you bring a sense of unity that wouldn't be present if it wasn't for you.

if the three of you were out at a restaurant for example, it was a tacit rule for you to sit between naruto and sasuke.

they pay extra attention to you, naruto in a more exaggerated manner than sasuke, but you noticed sasuke warmed up to you really quickly after you guys first met.

none of them will ever let anybody disrespect their partner, and they trust each other completely to look after you.

sasuke might let his scent spread widely around you, to hold off other people. whether you notice it or not doesn't matter, he will do it regardless.

don't be fooled, they both are very jealous alphas!

naruto expresses his openly, whether it's a friendly interaction that seemed too close for comfort or a compliment directed at you, he'll playfully pout or at least put his claim on you to reaffirm his position as your alpha.

sasuke's is a bit harder to perceive but present nonetheless. you're able to notice it in the way his jaw tightens, the look of his narrow eyes and protective stance.

they both consider you theirs, it's only natural they drive away other alphas. now that they grew much closer, they only accept gestures of affection directed to you, if it comes from one of them.

they also understand you're an omega and your needs manifest differently than theirs. if you need alone time, guidance or to get away from any situation... they got your back! they'll go even as far as giving you their strongly scented clothes and note down every food you like and dislike to make sure you get your favourite next time.

sasuke is at peace with how he feels about you : he likes you a lot and wants to keep you safe. the long days and hours you spent together as teammates forced the three of you to build an unbreakable bond.

their initial alpha rivalry transformed into a playful banter now. they tease each other and use their omega's laughter to measure their victory against each other.

sasuke still likes to mock naruto in front of you, because he knows it makes him embarrassed and it makes you laugh. they love the sound you make, and your lighthearted scent is like a reward.

you might not notice it, but sasuke pays close attention to you and you can expect sweet gifts from him, like pretty flowers which caught his eyes while on mission and reminded him of you.

during training, both of them become very reliable teachers. they want to demonstrate, help you with certain moves... but always having in mind to keep you away from harm.

the same goes for missions, they'll always step in if they assume you're in danger. and they'll do it over and over again, they don't even consider that as annoying or a burden to their mission.

if you think they're doing too much and you want them to calm down with all their protection, they'll understand and let you manage your thing alone. just know that they'll still have an eye on you.

naruto is very passionate and yes, he'll jump in front of you to shield you from anything. he's like a steadfast guardian you know you can count on, no matter how much he likes joking around.

however, sasuke is protective by placing a vigilant eye over you. he assesses potential threats and his actions are calculated. his protective nature is rooted in a silent commitment to keep safe what he holds dear, in this case, you.

during missions, both will offer their hand or arm to cross a particularly tricky path, they'll regularly ask you how you're feeling and if you need a break. if you do, they'll let you rest and go search for some food while the other is inspecting the surroundings.

overall, they are very careful and attentive.

and it really does make you feel protected and safe. you wouldn't trade you team for nothing in the world!

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macksting · 5 months

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"I still want to make things, but perhaps I should just keep them to myself for the time being. For anyone that cares, I’ll still be continuing Heart of Elynthi and the JOmega charity, but once those are finished I will be taking an indefinite break from posting anything online. It’s a decision I’ve considered ever since the first hate wave from about a year or so ago but wanted to sit on it and see if the feeling would persist. I know now this is the best choice for me."

If I catch anybody celebrating this, I am going to eat your kneecaps. This guy is a sweetheart, I have friends who needed the sort of kind, GNC representation of masculinity he presented earnestly, he was humble and respectful and tried to use his platform for good, and you fucking miserable little shitheads, you pearl-clutching jackasses, decided to take one video out of context and make a crusade out of it. Why don't y'all pick a fight that matters? You think Cop City is gonna crumble because you chased someone offline who was supportive of trans folks and was glad to have been liberated from cishet society? Do you think the world is a better place now? If I find anyone celebrating this, I will be eating the forbidden plantain chips that are their fucking kneecaps. I may even let them have a bite. Yes I am fucking angry about this. Is it that important compared to everything else in the world right now? No, but you made one guy's life hell for no good reason, and that's horrible. Die in a fire. And to be clear, I am not angry about this on his behalf. He did not ask me to be angry. He does not most likely want anybody to face consequences for being a shit-eating little cop who feels good about themselves for crusading against a guy who is using his platform to help trans folks because we helped him too. This is for me. This is because I want a world liberated from oppression, not one where folks recreate it in miniature hoping this time they'll be the Big Man and everyone else will be oppressed, so they pick fights they know they can win just to abuse and belittle someone to feel good about themselves.

He was sweet. He still is. And I hope he lives a better life far away from this.

#jocat #rant #angry rant #angry ramblings

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steddielations · 1 year

Text

“Evening, sir.”

It’s the Harrington boy. Again.

“I told you, son, it’s Wayne,” he manages a smile, harder to do these days, like chipping it out of cement and dusting it off. But he gets it done.

Steve doesn’t have the Henderson boy with him today, that’s a first.

“Where’s the curly one?” He steps aside, letting Steve into the trailer door, more rickety than before. No money left to fix it after repairing the bulk of the earthquake damage.

“Dustin? He doesn’t wanna watch the game, and trust me, you don’t wanna listen to that kid complaining the whole time,” Steve walks by, sorta chuckling to himself, “I always miss the replay ‘cause he makes me change the channel to those D&D cartoons during the commercials, just like—”

He stops in front of the couch, looking over his shoulder at Wayne like he’s afraid he messed up somehow. Wayne noticed that look often from him, less and less, but still often. All that confidence he carries can drop on a dime, sorta reminded him of—

“Like Ed?”

“Yeah. Sorry.”

“S’alright. I don’t mind talking about him if you want,” Wayne manages another concrete smile, but he means it. Steve always waits for him to bring up Eddie first, like he doesn’t want to remind him if it ain’t on his mind, but Wayne likes to be reminded. It’s nice to feel like he’s not the only one missing him. “But the game was yesterday and y’know the cable’s out.”

“Yep, got it covered. I uh, I taped it,” Steve fishes a VHS tape from his back pocket. Fancy. Wayne would worry about him using that for his sake, but he has a feeling Steve’s folks aren’t around enough to notice.

“The Colts win?”

Steve flips the tape around, “Haven’t watched it, so we can bet on it if you’re feeling lucky.”

It doesn’t feel so dry and heavy when Wayne laughs a bit then, waving Steve to go ahead and start up the TV. He already caught the game on the radio, but he bets on the Colts anyway. Loser’s supposed to do the dishes after they scrounge together some soup, but Steve does them anyway.

Wayne would make a stink about it but he can tell Steve just wants to help, to feel like he’s helping. Same thing when the Henderson boy comes around to see him, wanting to hear all the stories, even the scary ones. So Wayne doesn’t mind letting Eddie’s friends feel like they’re helping him.

His nephew didn’t have many friends. Real, cover-your-six kinda friends. The boys he played his music with, they’ve come by a couple times, Wayne always liked Jeff despite the racket. That older fella that’s doing time now, Wayne wasn’t too fond of. And some of Eddie’s dungeon buddies he talked about were the only few.

Now, casual acquaintances? Anybody who didn’t have anywhere else to sit when he had an empty spot at his table? Sure, Eddie had those in spades.

His boy was good at that, putting on a good old show for his crowd, on a stage to keep his distance. That damn Al did him in good, never could trust easily, having his old man pop up and drag him into his mess before he took off again. And Eddie’s poor momma would’ve done right by him, if she hadn’t gotten sick so young.

Took Wayne a long time to get Eddie to depend on him, to trust this was his place to stay and he didn’t have to earn it, Wayne wasn’t just filling his head to scheme something out of him.

Love ain’t a transaction that way. He wasn’t ever any good at saying it, but he tried to show Eddie the best he could.

His boy though, always carried a debt with him. Like he owed Wayne something for taking him in, had to graduate quick and make it outta here, do something with the better life he gave him. Al dug him in so deep, Eddie stayed roped into whatever his latest scheme was (the cars, the dealing, the gambling, thank God Eddie wasn’t there when the goddamn robbery went wrong, 25 to life) like maybe it’d be enough to keep him from running off again.

The odds have never been in favor of people like them, poor folk in a town that’s stuck in its ways, where everybody’s just like their old man, but Al made his choices and Wayne made his. Rest their mother’s soul, she did her best. Part of Wayne was relieved when Al got locked up, at least Wayne had a better chance of keeping Eddie from going down the same path, try to raise him right.

Being a Munson wasn’t a crime. He didn’t owe a darn thing to anybody. Eddie could graduate at his own pace, play whatever games and music he wanted, dress however, that didn’t mean he was up to no good. And a lot of boys get into dealing for a little easy extra money around here, he was gonna grow out of that just like Wayne did.

It worked until all this mess.

That’s why Eddie ran off after what happened to the poor Cunningham girl. He gets spooked when something goes wrong, like it’ll be the last straw he can’t make up for so he runs off. Like the first time he didn’t make senior year, went and hid out with that Rick fella that Wayne never did like, got Eddie deep into that business he tried to keep a secret.

‘Course Wayne knew. He knows exactly what and where his boy hides. If those damn cops weren’t tailing him, he would’ve gone straight to get him.

That was before he knew it would turn into all of this. Now he wishes he would’ve done it anyway. Gone right to Eddie, told him it wasn’t his fault that everything got all turned upside down. Told him he knew he was innocent right from the get-go, and got him away from this rotten old town.

But he didn’t.

He didn’t go get his boy.

So now he’s just trying to be there for Eddie’s boys, since he can’t.

“You have a night shift tonight right? Gonna put on a pot of coffee,” Steve says once he’s finished up the dishes.

Wayne hums. There’s usually more noise going on during these visits. Steve’s still alright at carrying on, even without the Henderson boy’s chatter to fill any gaps.

It was strange, the first time the two of them showed up. Wayne knew Eddie was close with Dustin, but he didn’t have a clue that he was chumming it up with the Harrington boy. Just don’t seem like the same type of company. He might not believe it if it weren’t so obvious that Steve cared about his boy. He suspected before, but now with Steve showing up here alone, he knows.

Steve misses Eddie in a different sorta way than Dustin.

“No cream or sugar, right?” Steve looks humored by that as he passes the mug of black coffee to him, “How are you related to Eddie again?”

Wayne’s mouth turns upward, remembering his nephew’s god awful sweet tooth. He picked up a box of Honeycombs the other day in the store out of habit. “Just happened to be standin’ there when they beamed him down.”

That gets a good chuckle out of Steve. Nothing wistful weighing it down and Wayne’s glad, watching Steve pour himself a cup of coffee too.

Then bitter-sweetness swirls in his chest, seeing the mug that Steve chose for himself. Must’ve dug it out from one of the boxes Wayne hadn’t hung back on the walls yet. The earthquake did a number on his collection. That Garfield one was the only one he’d gotten around to gluing back together.

“What is it?” Steve asks, cup paused at his mouth.

“Ah nothin’ just,” Wayne waves it off, “That’s the mug Ed always used.”

“Oh, I can use a diff—”

“Nah, nah go ‘head. It’s fine.”

Unconvinced, Steve takes a wary sip.

Mostly these days, Wayne just feels like a watch without a ticker, a chest with nothing beating inside it. He can’t name the feeling he has at seeing Eddie’s old mug being used by someone else, but at least it’s something.

“Y’know, he used to put everything in that sucker. Soda pop, soup, cereal, you name it,” Wayne shakes his head, mouth twitching into a smile, “I’d have to wrestle it away from him just to give it a good washing. It’s well loved, alright. Leaks now.”

As if on cue, Steve has to grab a napkin to sit underneath it.

Wayne lets out an amused hum, “He uh— Didn’t have much stability ‘fore he came to live with me, so he’d get real attached to things like that.”

Carried around a stuffed dragon they picked up at a garage sale ‘til Wayne couldn’t sew the wings back on anymore. Never wanted to throw anything away. Got real anxious about Wayne going to work sometimes, even when he was too old for a sitter. Held onto him saying “Stay home just today, Dad, please.” Which, he didn’t mind Eddie calling him that. It always softened him up, made him give in. Wishes now that he’d told Eddie upfront. Maybe he never would’ve stopped.

“Thought for sure he’d marry that damn guitar one day.”

Steve nearly sputters his coffee, laughing at that, “Yeah, those two are made for each other.”

It’s nice, seeing the way that story lit Steve up. Sorta like his boy can still make someone happy. Hurts like hell that he ain’t here to do it himself, but Wayne was always good at telling stories. That’s where Eddie learned it from.

“I’m uh,” Steve deflates after a minute, looking down at the mug, “God, I’m just really sorry, Wayne.”

“Yeah. I’m sorry too, Steve,” he says, because, well.

Wayne gets the feeling that his boy was Steve’s boy too.

Read the rest on Ao3

#it’s the full version of the garfield mug fic from forever ago #this has the happiest ending on ao3 i promise #linked at the bottom #steddie #rueswriting #eddie munson #steve harrington #wayne munson #steddie fic #temporary grieving #temporary mcd

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dolli-is-me · 7 months

Text

Chapter II: 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒗𝒐𝒊𝒅 𝒔𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒄𝒉 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒋𝒆𝒄𝒕, 𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒍𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅 ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Welcome back to my cozy cottage! Relax, and sit back, I'll provide you the best effective routine that I have ever made, by using my whole knowledge of 3+ years in the field of void state and the subconscious and conscious mind, dabbing in subliminals and finally finding the key, this routine is for anyone, I personally used it for a couple of days and I can assure you, it works wonders, it soothes the mind, helps you realize what the void really is, and how it doesn’t matter how much you tried and failed, this routine is something special I'll share ♡

𝑩𝑬𝑭𝑶𝑹𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑪𝑬𝑬𝑫, 𝑷𝑳𝑬𝑨𝑺𝑬 𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑫: please bear in mind, the void DOES NOT need any routine nor it needs any special work, the void is you, you enter it every night, you have the key in your hands. This routine/guide I made is just a simple bearing way to help you let go of the void and let it come to you, a guide i made that has some helpful information to anyone needing it, remember, you control your reality, you decide how to enter the void, and you decide when to, with that being said, lots of love ♡

Chapter one// an introduction to the void, what is it?

“the void, merging nothing and everything at once, sit back and relax, the void has no hurry”

A state of awareness, where an individual is at it's most calmest point, a point where you feel an extreme wave of calmness and peace, with the feeling of reassurance, hope, and positivity, in this state, nothing that you have not intended for it to happen, will simply not happen

Why? Because you, are the void, you, hold the control over the void, you have the key, you turn the way the key should turn.

One might argue, but how can I reach it?

Reach it? You have already reached it, it's within you, it's you, you enter it every night.

The void state is a state of awareness ,it's not something you have to achieve to get the benefits, the void itself is you, your consciousness

The void is recognizable once being aware in it, it's a place where you are detached from being the one you are binded to in this reality, you'll feel weightless, formless, some report they feel like a “slime-like substance”, as to what it looks like, it depends, some say it's a certain color, yet most have an established idea that it's a dark dark place, some could say they are surrounded by stars, it's up to you and your consciousness

So, what makes it so popular and special in this community?

It's the sole fact that the void cannot block the desires you give it, it will manifest instantly the moment you intent to, nothing, I repeat, nothing, is impossible in this state, bending the fabric of reality can happen so easily as a human who had detached it's consciousness from it's being, that what makes the void special

Now I made it sound so special and such, we'll get the catch here, it's completely something easy as special as it sounds, and no, I am not saying this as a way to make you be positive or such ever, it's simply the hardcore truth, that this? Is the easiest thing

The void is within anybody, regardless of anything with them, it doesn't matter, it has no boundaries, no limit, nothing, but you are everything there

Chapter two// The switch

Now that we truly understand what it is, how about we go through methods? Surely you have seen such thousands of methods and tips, sometimes might overwhelm you

This is completely alright, it's nothing bad, take a seat, keep calm, understand you'll eventually enter any time, so why panic?

You can choose whatever you want to your liking, however, many report they feel more motivated when they follow a routine

Let it be, I have come up with a challenge x routine for you, and please please understand, this DOES NOT mean you have to use this to enter the void, no, in fact, you can snap your fingers and enter the void, the void doesn't need concepts or such, but concept had helped those with desperate mindsets, so it can help

In short, go with whatever your guts tell you, because the subconscious mind sends you these subconscious messages through gut feelings, and for sure your subconscious knows your body way more than anyone, trust it and follow it's instinct

Let's start shall we now?

( The void switch routine )

This routine will be heavily insisting upon reprogramming the subconscious mind, and before you say anything, no, it won't take 21 days or 4 or anything- it takes how many days you assume, in this routine, there is no deadline, simply do this until you reach it, it's easy and very simple, I'll teach you to effortlessly impress both the subconscious and the conscious mind for the void

- Use this one affirmation only for the rest of the routine

“Subconscious mind, ensure me to enter the void at will”

Or whatever else you choose, to, just remember, please use the term “subconscious mind ____”

- Upon waking up, tell yourself this affirmation, tell yourself as though you're just saying some fact, repeat it for some time while you are groggy, because in this state, it's a state of the theta mind, it will pick up affirmations easier

- Now I highly suggest this, to listen to [Lotus Mi’s pure affirmation tape], doesn't matter how long or when, minimum amount of time you have to listen is at least once, you can loop it through the night if you want to, it's completely optional, the pink link above will lead you to the subliminal

- Now, this here is extremely important, whenever you get a thought of the void or anything related, feel that have already reached it and have it, feel like you're a master at the void, repeat your affirmation and believe in it

- Now, comes the important part, before sleep, I want you to lay in bed, get comfortable, and just actually prepare yourself to sleep, do something that you'll get sleepy with, a state where you are so groggy and so sleepy but not sleeping yet, in this state, command your subconscious mind, tell yourself that chosen affirmation over and over till you sleep, I swear, it's extremely important and it's the highlight of the journey, you are reprogramming your subconscious, just like how Joseph Murphy said “give your subconscious a problem before you sleep, and let it solve it for you while you fall in sleep”

That's it! That's the routine that I've been taking literal two weeks to test it off and it's extremely efficient, it worked so so well for me, I'm sure you'll immediately see the difference once you try it, the subconscious mind is a treasure

(for more detailed way about the “command your subconscious mind before sleep” technique, here you go)

1. Get comfortable in bed, just be like other days and get yourself to sleep

2. Stay awake until you get physically so tired, and I know some might say they would have problems with that, you can count until you feel groggy, or daydream, or listen to music, do anything that makes you go sleepy but not sleeping yet

3. Now comes the important part, close your eyes for sleep and simply command your subconscious mind over and over again, tell yourself that affirmation I told you about, do that till you fall asleep

Good luck for anyone who tries this! I made it extremely easy and fun, it doesn't require that much energy at all! Also if I had mentioned anything that should be credited, then I'm extremely sorry and full credits goes to the right owner, I love you all and hope you a wonderful day, you can do this, I'm so proud of you 💗

Love~ Dollie💌

“C-c-c-collect…my fickle insecurities…and turn them into beauty…I alchemize the dark within me” - Melanie Martinez

#dolli memories posts!#manifesting #void #void state #void challenge #subconciousmind #subconscious #void success

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thewulf · 6 months

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You're A Joy || Remus Lupin

Summary: Request - Okay here is another one that is hella personal. Yesterday I was told that i convince people to not love me(kinda shocking and I’m still alittle confused). But what about Remus and reader being friends but clearly liking each other. But like the reader is constantly jokingly putting her self down and such... Read Rest Here

A/N: Made this a 3 x 1. The three times you don’t give yourself credit and the one-time Remus does something about it. Thank you for the request @loving-and-dreaming !!

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Y/N

Word Count: 3.6k+

The Great Hall

You were sitting down at the end of the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall peacefully before the four boys, whom you really did grow to love over the years, swarmed all around you. Truly, the small smile that formed on your face was one of utter joy. The four of them had made the measly journey as a first year through the six years together an absolute joy. You’d have been lost without your girls, yes. But without the guys? Who knows what pure bliss felt like. What laughing until you had no air left in your lungs felt like. What a shoulder to cry on without an ounce of judgment felt like. You loved them all. But man, were they annoying sometimes.

“Where’s Lily?” James asked before his ass hit the seat bringing a soft smile to you face. A soft shake of your head let him know you didn’t have a clue where she was. You had to hand it to him though, the boy was persistent. Lily would surely give in one of these days. She was teetering on the edge of saying yes to your bemusement. You’d never thought she’d give in to James. But credit to him he finally listened to you after years of advice and slowly Lily was seeing the James you always saw.

“Not a clue Jamsie.” You looked up to him with a wry smile, “Why do you ask?” Playing coy with James was on of your favorite pastimes, truly.

He shrugged looking away, “Just curious I suppose.”

“Right. Just curious.” Nodding your head, you didn’t dare look over to the boy who always watched you with curiosity in his gaze. He was far too fucking handsome. With that light brown hair and those big brown eyes? How everybody wasn’t fawning over Remus was beyond you. Instead, they flocked to his much cooler friend Sirius. You just wish you had the courage to even hold a non-awkward conversation with the boy. Ever since you started crushing on him it’s like you forgot how to hold a normal conversation with the boy. You were able to fake it with the group but got squirrelly when it was just the two of you.

Sirius interrupted your endless stream of thoughts when he spoke up after a comfortable silence between the group, “Thanks for the homework help, Y/N.” Sirius spoke breaking you from the Remus spell that was taking over your bloody mind.

It was your turn to shrug it off, “Don’t mention it. Anybody would’ve helped.” You hummed continuing to look ahead and not any of them. You were never good at receiving compliments. It just didn’t come too terribly natural too you.

“I beg to differ. These idiots all but refused. You saved my ass. A true lifesaver.” He pressed singing your praises instead of dropping. Adding salt onto the wound he shot you a knowing wink.

He had a knowing smirk gracing his all too pretty face. Almost like he knew he caught you doing something, “Ah, yeah. Sure.” You once again tried brushing him off, but he wasn’t having it. Sirius never did what you wanted him to do. It’s like he was put on the earth to make you uncomfortable, to push your boundaries. A needed friend. A friend that helped you blossom.

He leaned forward deciding he wanted to press your buttons today. Afterall, Sirius knew that Remus was already in love with you. Hell, the entirety of Gryffindor and damn near the whole school knew the two of you were an item. The two of you were just clueless to it, for now. Sirius let it simmer for the better part of a year, but he couldn’t really take much more of the longing glances and the hopeless flirting that goes on between the two of you. He had to find a way to get one of you two stubborn heads to admit anything. He was on a one-man mission that everybody supported. Quite literally everybody. McGonagall checked in the other day. Even she too was getting tired of the puppy dog eyes between the pair.

“No, no jokes. What would we do without you Y/N?” He grabbed at your hand, “Everybody thinks its Remmy over there that keeps us together. But I think it’s you.”

You rolled your eyes snatching your hand away from the player boy, “Shut up Sirius.”

“He’s right, you know.” Remus spoke up earning a curious gaze from the other three boys. He was always the man of the fewest words. It was always like pulling teeth to get him to say more than ten words. But with you? You always seemed to be the exception. Words spilled out of his mouth when you were around. His own form of Kryptonite you seemed to be.

“You don’t have to be nice Rem.” You tried reasoning with him feeling your cheeks grow in shades of red.

James snickered, “It’s not being nice if it’s true.”

“Is it so hard to accept that you might just be great, love?” Remus added in a softer tone seeing that you were stuck in your own head.

You let out a sigh a tad overwhelmed by the four sets of eyes peering right at you, “Thanks. I guess. Now, let’s get to Potions. Don’t want to be late, Slughorn will have our heads.” You stood motioning them forward.

Charms

“How in the hell are you so good at this?” James grumbled from the desk beside you. You heard Remus and Sirius laugh from the row behind the two of you.

Setting down your wand you turned to your Charms partner, “You know my mum went to Ilvermorny. They’re legendary at Charms Jamsie. Guess she passed some of that onto me.” You punched your best friend in the shoulder.

He grumbled reading the book once more trying to figure out the silly little charm that only you seemed to be able to pick up on the first try. Even Remus behind you was taking longer than normal to get the charm to actually work as intended.

Naturally, you had to show off a little to James and only irritate the boy further when you moved your journal with ease across the table. It wasn’t that it was a terribly hard charm, it’s that you were doing it without your wand. Your mum had taught you over the last few summers how to hone in the skill. That and working with Flitwick for a few years and you’d become a sort of charms pro. Going to class was simply a novelty at this point.

You knew you were going to do something with the skill. You hadn’t a clue what. You found you weren’t the best teacher so that was quickly out the window. If you couldn’t teach James then you weren’t going to cut it, even you knew that.

Flitwick walked over watching you closely. He knew you were a rare talent in the skill. Few witches or wizards could perform magic without a wand yet here you were doing it as if it was easy.

“Impressive as always Miss Y/L/N.” Flitwick interrupted your thoughts bringing the journal to a screeching halt.

You grinned at him, “Oh, it’s nothing.”

His eyes watched you curiously, “Surely, Mr. Potter here can’t say the same?”

James rolled his eyes grumbling something else, “No, course not. This stuff is impossible and you’re doing it without a wand?” James wanted to throw the book at you. So casually brilliant and without a damn clue. He wasn’t stupid. This stuff was supposed to come easy. It’s why he was in the class, an easy A. Yet here you were breezing past him without a second thought. He knew if he wasn’t helplessly in love with Lily you were close behind.

You shook your head, “Shush Jamsie.”

Flitwick laughed at the nickname, at the dichotomy between the two of you, “Have you thought more about what we spoke about earlier?” Flitwick turned his attention back to you.

Shaking your head quickly you answered him lowly, hoping your friends wouldn’t hear, “No, not really. I need to talk to my mum about it.”

He nodded curtly, “After the holiday’s we’ll discuss it further then?”

“Sure.” You answered quickly hoping and praying they hadn’t heard too much. But they had. All eyes were on you giving you all sorts of looks.

The second you were out of class the questions started from the guys, “What was he on about Y/N?” Sirius asked first not afraid to be a little bold.

“Who?” You decided to play dumb. Maybe they’d drop it.

Remus laughed knowing it would only piss him off more, “Shove off Moony.” Sirius pushed him lightly before turning his attention back to you, “Flitwick you idiot.”

“Idiot? That’s harsh Siri.” Giggling you tried your best to hide the contentment from your face.

Remus smiled, “You’re deflecting love.” Love, he always called you that. None of the other guys seemed to. Shit, you’d started to notice he didn’t call anybody else that. It was that something special between the two of you. That extra something that made you all kinds of nervous.

“Am I now Remmy?” You giggled with a lightness about you trying your best to get their minds off of Flitwick.

“Yes love, now spill.” He pressed knowing you’d fold under his gaze eventually.

You stuck your tongue out at him then the other two, “You’re all a bunch of grumps.”

“Yeah sure, go on then.” James agreed wanting to know. You knew as well as the rest there were hardly any secrets amongst the group.

You sighed knowing they’d never drop it. You’d have to spill, “There’s a position open for a bank as a curse breaker. Flitwick wants me to apply. Says I’ve got the job if I want it. Says he’s way up on the board or something like that.”

James’ jaw dropped while Sirius whistled, “Damn Y/N.”

“You’re going to take it right?” James asked with bug eyes, “Those jobs are as hard to come by as auror’s are.”

You shrugged, “Like I said, need to talk to mum about it.”

“You’re brilliant!” Sirius clapped your back as he always did when he got overexcited.

You chuckled shaking your head, “Hardly.”

James shook his head dramatically, “You freaking make magic with your mind. You’re a freaky freak. Brilliant hardly describes you Y/N.”

“Oh, bugger off.”

“You do that all the time, you know.” Remus hummed after a lull in conversation amongst friends.

“What?” You replied not expecting his answer.

“You never take a compliment. Never. Can’t you just accept that you’re a joy love?” The two boys kept their mouths shut as Remus leaned in, pressing on your tightly constructed walls.

You gave him a look before nodding, “Sure. Now lets go eat. I need to talk to Marlene about that Herbology assignment also.”

He knew you were deflecting. You always did. But sure, was more than nothing. He had to give you that. There was some sort of progress with you.

Hogsmeade

You, Remus, Lily, and Marlene were enjoying a few beverages celebrating your first weekend out in Hogsmeade. James and Sirius were wrapping up quidditch practice leaving the four of you responsible for finding a table that the group could camp out in all day. It truly was your favorite way to spend a Saturday away from Hogwarts.

Marlene grabbed Lily pulling her down in the seat next to her, “You two sit across from us.” She gave you a knowing grin all but forcing the two of you to sit beside the other. Marlene was just as tired as Sirius was with the whole situation between the two of you. Neither of you had the courage to go for it and she was slowly losing it.

“Sure.” You smiled up at him trying your best to play it cool before shooting daggers at your supposed friend. You’d never grow tired of looking at the handsome boy who stood much, much taller than you.

He pulled the chair out for you motioning for you to sit first. Without much thought you sat down thanking him and turning to the other two who were both giving you that look.

“What?” You asked all but clueless to what the hell they were staring at.

Lily giggled before turning to Marlene who was shaking her head, “Nothing. Nothing at all. I’m going to go get us some drinks. Care to help Lily?”

“Absolutely my dear friend.” Lily followed Marlene quickly leaving the two of you to wait out Sirius and James.

“Didn’t give us much of choice then?” You sighed leaning back into the seat. Play it cool. That’s all you had to do. You could do it. It was just Rem. Your Remy guy.

He eased himself back to before turning his head towards you. A soft smile layered on his face as he took you in, “No, she didn’t. Don’t really mind though. Look at that line. They’ll be standing for a while.”

Your eyes followed his in curiosity, he was right. Rosmerta’s was popular. Especially on the day the students were allowed out, “Sucks to be them.” Nodding your head in agreement your eyes found his once more. A game of chicken commenced as you decided not to be the first one to look away. Little did you know Remus was thinking the same.

Fortunately for your awkward ass you were interrupted by the two other marauders, the troublemakers of the group. Remus sighed in annoyance hearing them before seeing them.

Your eyes widened in concern as your saw their torn-up state, “What happened to you two?” You cringed seeing Sirius bleeding from his shoulder and cheek. There was a bruise forming on James’ eye and somebodies blood coating his hand and arm.

“We’re fine. Just quidditch.” Sirius hummed taking a seat next to you while James sat next to Remus knowing where Lily was sitting based on the purse occupying the seat.

“Yeah Y/N. Completely fine.” James nodded in agreement.

Rolling your eyes you grabbed your wand, “I’d argue that any day. You’re never completely fine Jamsie.”

“Me too.” Remus added while snickering at your quick remark towards your longtime friend.

“Me three.” Sirius agreed throwing a wicked grin at James.

He groaned in annoyance, “You’re all bastards.”

“But you love us.” You added.

“Sometimes.” He nodded in agreement.

You turned towards Sirius looking over his injuries, “Here,” You grabbed at his face, “Look at me Siri.”

“I’m not dying Y/N.” He rolled his eyes trying his best to come off annoyed. But even he couldn’t deny he loved the care you so often showed towards him. He wasn’t used to somebody so nurturing. Often his cuts, bumps and bruises went unnoticed by his mother or father. But you picked up on everything. On each one of them. It’s how you found out Remus was a werewolf faster than any of them could expect. It was driving you mad in your third year, why was he always so cut up around the moon? Why was he always gone? Why were the rest of them secretly missing during those days too?

Your persistence paid off as James spilled the secret of them being animagi to help Remus during his transformations. Remus wasn’t mad, no. He rarely got mad. He was embarrassed. But as always your love showed him how much you didn’t care about his condition. That was the moment he knew he liked you, quite a bit. You were clueless for a while longer. Until Slughorn’s Amortentia positions class in sixth year. You all but blurted out that your cauldron smelled exactly as his cologne instead you made some bullshit up.

“No, but you’re bleeding. Don’t want that pretty face to scar now do we Siri?” Clicking your tongue, you dropped his face to grab the wand sitting at the table.

“You’re right, we wouldn’t want that darling.” He nodded closing his eyes letting you do your work.

You whispered a soft, “Secare Amendo.” Waving your wand at his cuts and bruises. It never ceased to amaze you how cut up the boys got after a practice. It was no wonder they went straight to Pomfrey after an actual match.

“There, as good as new pretty boy.” You patted his head before leaning back in your seat once more.

He grinned, “That’s why you’re my favorite.”

“I’m ignoring that.” James glared at Sirius before eyeing you, “What about me Y/N?”

“What about you Jamsie?” You asked knowing how to drive him up a wall.

Scrunching his nose he answered, “Will you please heal me too?”

You nodded leaning over Remus before doing the same, “All you had to do was ask Jamsie.” Which earned a laugh from the entire group.

“Beauty, brains and your funny. A triple threat.” Sirius spoke first.

Shaking your head quickly you forgot about Remus’s reminder to you earlier, “You flatter me Sirius Black.”

He shrugged your comment off, “Would you just take the compliment, for once?” Sirius challenged you. As he always did. Your biggest advocate. Your biggest headache.

“Thank you Sirius.” You replied to him knowing it was just easier.

“Now, was that so hard?” Remus added. All three of you gave him a shocked expression for being so… brazen about it.

You wanted to look away but something in his eyes told you not to, “I suppose not.”

He nodded not super satisfied with the way the conversation was unfolding, “I wish you’d see we see in you. What I see in you.” He added with a whisper.

Sirius nodded at James, “We’re going to help the girls with the drinks.”

“Oh, you don’t need to.” You attempted to stand before Remus grabbed at your hand.

“Let them, I want to talk to you.”

Your heart rate involuntarily kicked it up a notch, “You do?”

“I do, be honest with me, alright?” He didn’t drop your hand but gave it a squeeze instead. He waited for some sort of acknowledgement. After giving him a head nod you waited for him to continue, “Why? Why don’t you…” He trailed off not finding the right words.

“Why don’t I what?” You had a thought of where he was going but needed him to confirm it.

Remus sighed knowing the words might hurt you, “Why don’t you love yourself? Like we do. I said it before and I’ll say it again, you’re a joy. An absolute joy love.” He rambled knowing what he said probably hurt. But he needed to dig. To break down your iron walls you’d had up for so long.

It did hurt. But was he wrong? Did you even like yourself? Nothing went wrong in your childhood. You had loving parents and the normal thing plus being magical might’ve put a little strain on your muggle father, but it was never anything he couldn’t handle. He knew what he was getting into when he married your crazy American mum. You were truly a rare bread. A dirty half breed from an American commoner or so Sirius’s lovely mother had called you to your face in fourth year. If she had the gall to say that you could only imagine what she said behind closed doors. No wonder Sirius needed to get away. Thank God for James and his parents. It was a marvel Sirius turned out as kind as he was after being raised by the Black’s.

You looked away from him, “I don’t know Rem.”

He mimicked your actions from earlier grabbing at your face and gently pointing it towards him, “Look at me.” Which, of course, sent your heart into a tailspin, “Would you try, for me?”

“Try?”

“Being kinder to yourself. It hurts me when your like that to yourself. It hurts when the person you love and adore can’t see what I see.” He was speaking fast, nervous as could be.

“Love and adore?”

“Yes.” He spoke quickly, it was out there now.

“Me?”

“Yes.” He dropped your face in favor of your hands. Giving them a squeeze, “Sirius was right. Incredibly beautiful. Smartest witch in our class. Funniest person I know. A triple threat. It’s amazing somebody hasn’t grabbed your attention. You’re incredible. A wonderful human. An utter joy. My love.” He added.

Your heart was hammering in your chest. Damn. It’s not what you expected but you couldn’t say you were upset. No, this felt like a dream.

“Are you sure?” You added once more.

He groaned, “Y/N. We just talked about this. Yes. You love. You’re exceptional. Try to see what I see. Please?”

You nodded finally processing his words, “I like you too, quite a bit.”

He laughed softly giving your hands a gentle squeeze, “Well that’s good. Considering what I just told you.” He smiled, “But, I need you to answer my question. Will you try? Please Y/N.”

“Of course, I’ll try. Just, be patient with me?”

He nodded back at you pulling you closer on the bench seat, “Yes love. Always.”

“Can’t believe you actually like me.” You echoed back at him still not believing it fully. Had he made it obvious? Put it out there and you were clueless?

“Thought I made it obvious love. Can I ask you one more thing?” He searched your eyes.

“Yeah, anything.”

He smiled adoring the trust you seemingly had in him, “Would you go on a date with me? A proper date to Hogsmeade. Without the guys. And the girls. Just you and me?”

“I’d love to.” You’d answered all too excitedly.

He let of a sigh of utter relief, “That’s a relief. How’s next Saturday sound?”

“Sounds like a date.” You grinned feeling the usual nerves suddenly vanish. It felt like old times between the two of you. Two kids getting to know each other. Willing to explore more. Understand each other further and deeper. God, you couldn’t wait.

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