#dick: im literally older than you were when you adopted me. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sleeping-lilies · 3 years

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robin era jason, dick, and babs headcanons because there’s too much comedic potential to ignore

- dick and babs were the ultimate gossip buddies. whenever dick was with the titans for long periods of time, babs always filled him in on everything

babs: dick you’ll never believe what hal said to bruce last night, i even have videos. dick, the look on his face please—

dick, immediately locking doors so his teammates don’t hear the mad shit about to be dropped on main: tell me everything

- vice versa too, dick filled babs in on everything going on with the titans and all they can say is thank god those lines are bat secured with no villains being able to listen in, imagine deathstroke hearing through bat gossip that joey’s dating who?!?! 😳

- batkids have been and always will be the holder of superhero gossip. it’s a business, you see, but we’re getting off topic 😡

- lmfao anyways this is literally how dick finds out about jason

babs: anyways, jason—

dick: who the fuck is jason

babs: ....

dick: barbara?!?!

babs: ok promise you won’t freak out

- babs and dick’s first reaction upon meeting jason being “why is he so small i wasnt that small” “dick you were literally nine when you were robin—“ “he’s tiny” it’s like those two share the same braincell

- i’m making it so that dick gave jason his number earlier because i feel like it 😡😡😡 (not that it changes much other than the fact that i want more gossip dropped in dm’s)

- when dick gave jason his number, he went to babs like “give me jason’s number” “didn’t you literally just give him your’s?” “ya but i’m gonna make sure he texts me” “ya ok that’s fair”

- whenever jason didn’t want to be in the manor (fight with bruce, boredom, etc) he went to wherever the fuck babs lived and they would facetime dick and talk mad shit. it was a thing.

- despite them all being able to drive, babs was the only one during this time with an actual, legitimate, legal license (jason was too young to have a license and dick is too lazy/busy/whatever-excuse-he-wants-to-use to take the permit and driving test) so babs drove them around everywhere and it was a mess™ consisting of a bunch of backseat drivers

- “dick omg look at this video i found from the batcave” “omg he said robin gives him magic” “robin gives him magic” they both cry about it for years to come

- babs sometimes kidnapped jason after school after telling the head of wayne manor (alfred) and took him to get ice cream, then to the library while she worked. jason was the greatest kid in the library, he even had his own throne special chair just for him whenever he came provided by library staff who adored this absolute angel.

- jason 🤝 babs 🤝 dick -> i believe in annoying yet endearing nicknames supremacy

- nicknames include (some used by some more than others or just one, or by both equally because they’re annoying pick and choose my good people)

little wing (iconic, we all know this one fellas and who uses it)

red (used for babs, absolutely fantastic, but in the future it gets confusing because some people with their goddamn hero names 😡)

boy wonder (classic, babs calls them both that)

barbie (for babs, jason uses this one and he’s the only one able to get away with it)

dickie (jason just really gets away with everything huh)

dickhead (jason’s lucky he’s cute)

baba black sheep (jeez i’m on a roll with babs’ nicknames she’s so nickname-able and that’s very cool and sexy of her)

jay z

jay allen

jay jay jay (shut up, dickhead—)

big bird

and a bunch more i’m too tired to look for them in canon or make new ones up, but you get the idea

- dick can totally bake, and babs and jason keep bugging him when he’s baking and add more chocolate chips while pretending to not notice that he can see them 😡😡😡

- headcanon that jason had hero worship for babs and dick because they’re so cool in and out of costume and it never really went away when he got older listen his older brother and pseudo sister are so cool and that’s not his fault but he’ll never admit it

- barbie movie marathons because barbie is an iconic legend and they all recognize it. they have the fucking “she’s the queen of the WA-A-A-AVES” song memorized along with all other barbie movie songs, they sing it on patrol.

- dick and jason’s sibling dynamic was and is basically “ur a little shit and i hate you but i will literally kill for you”

- dick had tension with bruce while jason was just a little shit who would totally cause drama for the sake of it, and people never take advantage of this absolute power duo for destroying bruce

- dick sending cryptid texts to jason through a burner phone because he’s dramatic jason totally knew it was him about things that drive bruce mad, like leaving the shower turned to the coldest setting before bruce got there, leaving the lights in the batcave on, etc. jason, a wise little child, totally took advantage of this. bruce came to accept his fate

- the gc names, guys the group chat names

- jason crashing into titans tower whenever he wants and dick doesn’t bat (hAH) an eye, occasionally he very sweetly asks babs to come with him and she agrees but only sometimes because some people have jobs, jason—wait dick is being flirted with by who?!?! i’ll leave it up to your imagination ;) and they totally crashed titans missions too

- one time bruce was busy with the league while alfred was on vacation and bruce absolutely could not dip (i’m imagining bruce getting a call from the headmaster during an honest to god fight and bruce just picking up while punching the daylights out of some asshole) (“mr wayne, what is that noise in the background?” “sorry, headmaster, the cat is having a seizure”), so when jason got into a “fight” (read: some jackass picking on jason before he snapped and yelled at him and the bitchass kid tried to punch him and jason’s no quitter) bruce called dick who was an adult and legally family (yes dick is adopted sometime after jason was, stay mad) like “son... son please” and dick was like “oh no need to plead with me, this is too good” but of course this bitchass doesn’t have an actual lisence yet and he was hanging out with babs anyways so he and babs rolled up to gotham academy and the kids stared at them like “holy shit they’re so cool” ya dick and babs are those power couple, whether romantic or not, that turn heads, they’re just that powerful strolled into the office, bailed jason out while intimidating the headmaster because the altercation was the result of school staff negligence of actual bullying like those cliche tropes, said “ayyy you got that brat good” and get him chili dogs or whatever the fandom made robin jason’s favorite food. omg i just made an entire fanfic in rough draft form someone please steal it and write it in full form and send me the link

- jason is very very tiny, you see. babs and dick pick him up and move him for any reason, whether because they want to sit on that chair or to just throw him out of harm’s way and take the bullet for themselves.

- jason and dick both get adorable blushes on their faces it’s genetic yes that’s how genetics work shut up meanwhile babs’ ears turn red when she’s embarrassed and all three of them clown each other for it

- i yelled about this to my mutual (cough cough @littlespaceboii) who also added to this absolute dogshit headcanon and then in the discord full of mutuals, but the basement of wayne manor is haunted. dick found it when he was a little gremlin (i stand by that dick was the original demon child) (“you see damian, before there was you there was me” the real reason he was good with damian lmfao) and was like “omg this is so cool” @littlespaceboii came up with that it was just alfred fucking with bruce and so when jason first came and dick was comfy around him he was like “so have you been in the basement” and jason was like “im literally robin i’ve been in the batcave?!?!” and dick goes “no the basement, the haunted one” and jason’s like “hAUNTED?!?!” cuz jason has at least some self preservations and knows not to fuck with the spookies until he too became a spooky and bruce was like “there’s no ghost it’s not haunted” because he’s a skeptic and a party pooper and babs is like “no go on let him finish” even though she knows full well there are no ghosts or does she? and uhhhh basically they becomes ghostbusters 2.0 but cooler and funnier

- this trio is basically baby pan/bisexual jason and two resident expert pan/bisexuals solidarity but that’s literally canon. they go to pride every year that jason’s alive what who said that?

- they all tease each other for their crushes like all siblings/family friends do, i don’t need to say it but it’s important that’s emphasized for my well being

- yelled about this in the discord to the mutuals who added onto this absolute train wreck too, but jason used to play baseball during his robin days, and dick never showed up to those games with being busy as an excuse, but babs always showed up with bruce and alfred and took pictures for dick so dick could be like “mlb players are jobless now that little wing is on the scene” babs (and sometimes bruce) always shouted loudest for jason whether he was in the field or in the dugout and jason would get this extremely adorable blush on his face (jason finds out in the future why dick never showed up (cough cough ptsd from two face’s massive baseball bat which led to everything that came after including being fired and veangance academy and nearly killing two face and omg that’s a ride) and is like oh my god my childhood is even more ruined—)

- remember when i said dick got adopted after jason did in this new absolutely fabulous canon i just created? bruce did that because “ahhh fuck that’s my kid and i want him to know i love him through every means possible since i have the ability to do so” i believe in good dad bruce supremacy and made a whole thing where he invited dick to dinner for like a week to work up the courage and bonding to ask him and show him the adoption papers and then everyone cried :) bruce decided to finally adopt dick after jason referred to dick as his brother and bruce was like “...oh” and alfred was like 👀

- dick, as the first child hero and one of the first heroes period like at least a year or two before babs, holds the “back in my day” card over literally everyone in the hero community in general and pulls it out to annoy babs and jason even tho babs literally joined the scene only a year or two after dick

jason, shaking in his panties: it’s so fucking cold

dick, standing strong in his tits out outfit, who had to wear the panties on his own decision: oh, you’re cold? back in my day—

babs, throwing her boot at his face: god shut the fuck up—

and then dick doesn’t give back her boot and it becomes a whole thing with lots of tackling and play fighting and someone nearly gets thrown off they rooftop for funsies but anyways

also on a side note, babs would take off her cape and wrap it around jason whenever she noticed his discomfort with the weather, or use the weather as an excuse whenever she saw him uneasy for whatever reason and they never mention it to each other

- yelled about this in the discord to the mutuals at some point too holy shit i have friends, but those three are team rocket. they went out as team rocket for halloween one year after bullying bruce to let jason out only jason because he can’t tell dick and babs what to do and jason is under his care and when they do convince him, dick and babs bully jason into being meowth. manifesting jason in a meowth onesie ARTISTS PLEASE—

- dick finally took his license seriously and took his driver’s test after babs became paralyzed.

- those were a rough few months for those three. and then another rough few months for those two

- yikes, sorry to throw angst at you (sorry (unfeeling)) anyways, in the future alfred finds those old photos and shows the rest of the fam, so dick and babs bully jason, 6’2 jason that towers way above both of them, and once again bullies him into being meowth “for tradition, little wing!” “shut up, dickhead” the rest of the batkids lose their shit over this, naturally. bruce and alfred stand in the back teary eyed reminiscing the old days when things were a little more simple.

- discowing walked so terrifying handsome squidward red hood helmet could run (even tho the ugly helmet tripped and fell and missed the mark because discowing wasn’t ugly and will always remain superior, i feel i have committed a terrible crime comparing the two)

dick: jason what the fuck is that

jason: it’s fashion

dick: it’s terrifying

jason: i’m only following in my older brother’s footsteps 😔

dick: listen here, you little shit strangles him haha just kidding that illegal wait theyre vigilantes they don’t follow the law—

- these three and cass refer to the rest of the batkids as “the kids” (if she’s older than jason, sometimes she is and sometimes she isn’t and i’m really confused but whatever)

- babs and dick’s relationship with jason pre death literally shaped how jason treats his siblings post pit madness like he literally goes “what would red and big bird do?!??” when he needs to go into big brother mode over the “little ones” (“little” because tim and steph are adults and duke is nearly an adult himself oh my god he’ll graduate from high school soon and jason never got to do that himself he’s totally going to the ceremony legally dead or not) 🥺

- holy trinity continue hanging out with each other, whether lunch or games or whatever, and just enjoy each other’s company after long, rough years

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batarangsoundsdumb · 3 years

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hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist.

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right??

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless......

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :(((( )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho)

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

#literally if you got through this i just respect you #this is mainly just for the people who sent me an ask in the past few mask #i hope your ask is in here :)#sorry for everybody else #ask #bataranswers #this took me 4 hours to do so i hope youre happy #also sidenote #does anybody know the latin translation for 'to become'#bc i just used future of 'esse' but it could be a different verb #who cares tho latin is a dead language #big congratulations to everyone who translates my sentence #here's a bonus sentence: tuam matrem futueram

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abbeyfangirl · 4 years

Text

dragon age: all characters (companions)

I’ve been in this fandom for a hot minute now and I want to update my opinions on characters :)

Origins

Alistair: super sweet dude who literally is not the stereotypicalchantryguyfightme. He’s a great example of healthy masculinity and I totally wish he was bi because I have an entire essay on that— also: he’s a poc! His mum was brown. In game he’s got dark features. if you really want a blond/blue-eyes/white guy, make your warden that. or accept that brown people can be noble and moral. or just draw cailan, idk. just because BioWare whitewashes doesn’t mean you should.

Leliana: someone hug my singing girlfriend before I crush her under with my own hugs. Also: nugs. Yes! Shoes. Yes! She likes how I style my hair? YES!! I honestly think she’s super duper and it pisses me off whenever someone’s like: yeah she enjoys killing people and the Game. ok. and michel de chevin willingly participated in genocidal marches through the alienage he grew up in with his elvhen mum.

Morrigan: dirty swamp witch that i stan and also have a v big crush on. tiddies. Have a son with a GW so we can raise him with our tiddies out in the forest. she’s also white-passing, as her father was chasind and all people we’ve seen that are chasind are black. therefore, she is biracial. therefore, poc can be goths and don’t shy away from giving morrigan a darker skintone. if the devs had of been thinking, she’d have a darker skintone.

Zevran: Actually is the best romance, I think. Loves consent, therefore I will stan him so hard my skull cracks a little. Also: he is a very brown boy and if he’s white in da4 I’m seriously going to throw all canon out the fucking window. genuinely a good person who needs to be told so.

Wynne: grandma who only likes my friends who go to church. but also super sweet and I’d rest my head on her bosom (in a platonic way omg ZEVRAN)

Sten: angry quiet boi. the bestest boi. I totally would give him a kitten for a gift and bake him cookies. Thicc softie. I think if I had DA:O and i knew how to use mods i would mod the fuck outta him. sorry.

Sha(y)le: who’s gender? idk her. See also: fuck birds and authority. pound ur ass into the ground you feathery meatbag little shits. fuck songbirds.

Dog: such a good boi. thicc. thinks Alistair is a whiny fuck and is Morrigan’s only friend. love him. he’s the cutest companion. bet.

Ohgren: honestly forgot about him bcc he’s such a shitbag. also: he could’ve been a really cool addiction recovery type but NOPE. probably would have a trump shirt in a modern au and would catcall wlw and hit mlm. no thanks.

Awakening

Anders: he acts like rlly straight but he’s so gay I can smell it. also he’s rlly cute and fun and I love him so much.

Justice: MAYBE i’M selF CONSCious OF THE twitchING. is the friend that genuinely doesn’t get dick jokes but is ur 110% ride or die.

Nathaniel Howe: honestly is sort of a white knight/neck beard a little, but it’s kind of charming with his whole velanna m’lady?? grump boi. annoying soul patch that I’d mod out SO FAST—

Sigrun: would have ROMANCED the FUCK out of her. why she even entertains the idea of fucking with ohgren makes me realize most of the writers are dumbfucks.png. peppy little emo. 12/10 would die if she kissed my cheek teasingly.

Ohgren: why. why. why. I’d have brought Shayle over. Maybe Zev? Definitely Dog.

Velanna: she was written to be an annoying feminist and you can tell but I deadass am a kindred spirit with her bcc I too am deadpan annoyed with Thedas’ general population too. love her. Would’ve loved to romance her. She’d totally be one of those who’d get all tsundere and be like “n-no i hate you” *kisses the fuckin soul out of you then blushes so hard she’s now a tomato*

Dragon Age II

Anders: fuck the cops. i don’t care. fuck the cops. (vine reference). also: do i hate him for blowing up the chantry that would eventually annul a huge collection of his people? no. read dalishious’s meta on Anders. v intriguing. didn’t they retcon the fuck out of the reported deaths too? like there was like eight Templars and Elthinia in there. Templars killed more “abominations” in a day than Anders in the game canon—

Aveline: initially thought she was fine and then realized she’s shit to my lil brother and I will fucking clap her ginger ass. See also: whorephobia isn’t a joke so fuck off with treating Isabela badly, you tit.

Bethany: sunshine. Literal sunshine. I feel my freckles grow in her presence and i love it. she’s my little baby sister and I’d slam that ogre so fuckin hard before it touched either twin.

Carver: there has to be a mod where both twins survive. I love them both to bits. My babies. carver is my bitter, angry little brother and I can relate because I too am very angry and would totally clap my own ass. hes so genuine and I don’t get the competition between Beth and Carver. Like, both are fuckin stellar in different ways. In this essay I will—

Fenris: honestly, I don’t get the general hate between him and Anders. Fenris’ main arc should’ve been a recovery arc, not drunken moping and revenge. he deserves better. give him a soft sweater instead of his spikes and let him love himself as much as I love him for MAKERS SAKE. like when you really think about their relationship, it could’ve been an eye-opener for fenris and finally some legit sympathy for anders. but we all know that if they had of teamed up that Meredith would’ve been dead before the end of Act 1 so.

Isabela: whorephobia is not a joke. oversexualizing your only appearing brown woman is so poorly written. how about we appreciate her and her lovely bosoms but also let people tease her about her heart of gold? her innate understanding of freedom? instead of just a wave of dick? please?? can we give her some pants for when she fights? can we accept that i fall for rogues who hate themselves?? fuck. also whomever draws her x femHawke x Merrill literally is after my own heart.

Merrill: my fucking babygirl MARRY ME. Fenris could’ve been her older brother type, but NO. she and Isabela should’ve been canonical gfs instead of Isabela/Fenris (no shaming the pairing tho!!). I love how she’s written as neurodivergent. V nice. Sometimes I just look her up and cry because she’s fucking everything. Also: she’s in the Dalish origin and she’s far from being white. Why did they make the most innocent/naïve character really white? hmmmm.

Sebastian: whew that boy. Would totally be that annoying Mormon at your door but you still let him in bcc he’s super sweet. Also: huge ass bible thumper and should get his head slap because you said the maker loved all his children why do you defend a complicit old hag you annoying attractive fuck—

Varric: totally is a bard and the devs couldn’t handle the idea of him being one bcc it might make him look less straight. is the only grey morality person I don’t want to fucking bash in with a fry pan. he sees people and I like that, but you totally know he’s siding with mages every time bcc him and Anders are like besties. I’m sorry. I don’t make the rules. “Professional Younger Brother”.

Tallis: I know nothing about her but she seems okay. I think she was an escaped slave and honestly? Fucking props. Spy on a shitting organization, idk what you’re doing, but your VA was that cool lesbian from SPN so I think ur okay?

Inquisition

Blackwall: Redemption Arc 101. Love him to bits. Sad dad bunwall. good man. actually atoned for his sins by actively becoming a good person. his initial design is 80% hotter im so sorry but so not.

Cassandra: was way browner in the last game. would romance the fuck outta her. I love me a butch lady who melts at my dorky recitation of poetry. BioWare is a coward. also is the worst choice for divine. but not a bad person. could use some more guidance or get her ass whipped by a dalish elf about religion or a circle mage kid whos like “yeah bud i didn’t ask for the templars to whip my ass everyday for existing.”

The Iron Bull: I think the Qunari/Vashoth were a little based off black people (the whole anti blackness thing where ppl are scared of them bcc of whatever reason) and it pisses me off that he had a weird ass dubcon thing with Dorian in banter. It doesn’t make sense— he’s an A+++ dom and would not jump straight in role play without at least checking in at first like wtf BioWare.

Cole: his mother was chasind so he’s like not supposed to be that white? or like biracial? albino? idk. love him to bits tho. He’s neurodivergent and I deadass love him. romancing him? idk. I see why ppl think it’s fuckin nasty but also like as a writer I’d age him the fuck up so fast before my inquisitor even THOUGHT about that. like idk. I’m down with him being a sweet little bro character tho. he’s a babe. love him.

Sera: had the worst fucking writer I’ve ever seen and I willingly read the twilight saga twice by a shit ass racist white lady who okay’d pedophilia. like. Fuck you Kristjanson suck your own dick you fuck. had the worst options in regards to speak to her. has a thicc case of internalized racism that literally most of the fandom just loves to use against her. my lesbian neurodivergent queen. Would write a thousand fix it fics for her. Love her to bits. im gay.

Varric: I haven’t played DA2 so i don’t get why everyone wants to romance him but like. a dwarf romance? yes please. Idk he reminds me of my uncle so I only see him as fun uncle material. Deadass should adopt Cole and Merrill and co parent with Blackwall for Sera. dads? fuck yeah. love me some wholesome, present fathers.

Dorian: is a gay stereotype that I love/hate so much. and he’s also just as bad about being a creep bcc he sexualizes qunari men (in banter). I attribute that to shit writing tho. I want to protect him from all the “omg gay best friend!” people. he’d clearly be that tired gay that wouldn’t give a diddly damn about ur het romance. wanna talk about politics? he’s ur guy/gay.

Solas: “me, an intellectual:”. I don’t hate him, but I’m not about him. He comes off as mysterious and suave (which he totally is) but I deadass would not save him from himself because he’s a racist, exclusionist eggshell. idk. not my cup of tea, but I can totally see the appeal. And he’s interesting, I’ll totally say that. “I think the Dalish are garbage but they made you” is not a compliment. it’s so offensive. and such bait for “quirky girls” which I’m no fan of. Would be Achilles and let Patroclus (Lavellan in his case) die before he realized how his pride is literally a waste of time. If he gets a redemption arc I hope Lavellan gets to slap him before getting him to teach all about ancient Arlathan and show that the Evanuris weren’t all total dicknozzles. (Aka I really have a hard time believing that they’d be slavery cult things. especially since they’ve compared elves to indigenous ppl, Jews and the Romani.)

Vivienne: it’s so racist that they’d make a black woman be pro-slavery. That’s such internalized racism. She could’ve been the cool ass “educate yourself first before you speak, fool” ice lady, but NO. the devs could’ve kept the “Templars are a tool that I proudly can mandate” and the “circles are very good education” and we. Could. Have. Romanced. Her. Like. Fuck. Sake. I just wanna give her a hug and say “love yourself omg!!” and not even in a romantic way. Also: she and morrigan should not have been so antagonistic towards each other. I’d expect them to have great respect for each other, as they both moved up in the world through hardwork and very little help. They could learn different magic from each other too and still maintain that rival respect “oh you” mood. Sidenote: probably the cooler option for Divine. if her approval is high enough she’ll love and be loyal to you forever and i can’t see her agenda being bad. she improves the circles exponentially and tells all the antis to suck her pretty painted toes.

Josephine: an actual disney princess. romanced her my first playthrough. I love her so much. she just makes me so happy. And she’s like: “Integrity, Loyalty, peace. That is what it means to be a GREY WARDEN good fucking person.” she’s the person who would let you hold her hand if you got anxious and she’d be that person who shouldered the whole group project with finesse and poise and would probably lie for everyone as to not be mean. i love josie. her and leliana’s relationship is so cute, too. whether it’s romantic or not: women supporting women.

Leliana: if you leave her hardened you must hate her. why. she becomes so against herself. i like how shes feminine and lighthearted because that’s so powerful-- to remain hopeful when the world is hopeless. (its hard to know when to soften her/harden her so i get it but. google it. she deserves to be happy and sweet again.)

Cullen: uwu war criminal with shit ass “redemption arc” that was actually a half-assed (at BEST) recovery arc. Recovery isn’t linear, it isn’t pretty, and even the broken need to be told they are wrong in order to heal right. Like I’m offended by that bullshit. I’ve had to do some mental health recovery in the past and unlearning lots of toxic ideologies— which I’m still unlearning— and it bothers me that he gets an easy pass because he’s hot. It’s one thing if you like Cullen, it’s another thing if you hold him accountable.

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bigskydreaming · 5 years

Text

As much as I hate the Ric Grayson storyline, the general reactions to it are pretty on point for how people usually react to Dick....with the irony being that the whole POINT of this storyline is at the moment, he ISN’T Dick. He literally thinks of himself as a different person a lot of the time.

But notice how many of the negative reactions are towards Dick himself - when again, he kinda doesn’t really even exist right now, lmao - because Ric didn’t react to his amnesia the way they expected or wanted. With this being true of both characters in universe and fans outside of it. The number of times in the past year that I’ve seen a post or a fic about that storyline that basically condemns Ric because of how he’s hurting his family by staying away from them, insisting they stay away, that he doesn’t care that he’s hurting them, that he’s still Dick deep down, so how can he just not care about these people who try and tell them they’re his family and they love him, etc.

The ultimate takeaway in almost every variation is that basically, people are mad because Ric’s reactions don’t prioritize the Batfamily, or even factor them in at all. That he’s isolated himself by his own choice, rather than even try to get to know them, let them get to know this new him.

But the problem is....

RIC GRAYSON DOESN’T OWE THESE PEOPLE ANYTHING!

They’re complete strangers to him, when they introduce themselves. He doesn’t remember them. All those connections they supposedly have with him, that they feel so strongly about...he doesn’t feel those connections because as far as he’s consciously aware, he never made them.

Like....just because you go up to a random stranger on the street and tell them hey, you don’t remember me or have any idea who the hell I am or what kind of person I am at all, but we’re family even in spite of that all being true, and like, that matters, so please come home with me, everyone really wants to see you and your siblings have really been worried about you, it’d be a huge relief for them to actually see you with their own eyes....

THAT DOESN’T MAKE THAT STRANGER OBLIGATED TO DO ANY OF THOSE THINGS.

In fact, the more you press on the subject, the more they’re likely to push back against it? Even if its true, that’s like..a HUGE thing for people to wrap their minds around. Like, think of how upsetting it can be for a lot of people to find out later in life that they were actually adopted....even though they love their adopted parents and have like, good relationships all around and are HAPPY other than that revelation - because its just about like....when something you’ve believed to be true for so long that you take it for granted pretty much, just like turns out to not be true all along, that can really fuck with people before they get a handle on it....because if THAT isn’t true, turns out they couldn’t count on what they believed to be reality on that front....what else that they take for granted might not be true either? Where does it end?

So for you to like just wake up one day and find out that its years later than it should be as far as you know, you’re older than you remember being, you were apparently a fucking SUPERHERO, like...what are you even supposed to do with THAT tidbit after its dropped in your lap, like are you supposed to nod and go yeah, that makes sense, sounds about right...and oh yeah, btw, your parents are dead and have been for years but you have this new family now instead, and they all have years and years of history with you that you can’t remember and might not ever, and also because of all that, they each have all these emotions regarding you based on stuff the guy with your face did when interacting with them before, the guy they still see when they look at you because again, you have the same goddamn face....but no matter how much they remind themselves YOU don’t remember the things they love you for and are holding a grudge against you for or made them feel special or was something you used to really like when they did for you.....

What are the chances, realistically speaking, that they’re ALWAYS going to remember to keep that awareness front and center every time they interact with you, that at times they’re not gonna be pissed at you because you do one tiny little thing that doesn’t even register with you as something that would upset them but oh yeah it actually reminds them of this HUGE FUCKING FIGHT you had with them about that very thing and so they’re kinda pissed at you for a couple days even if they’re trying not to show it, they can’t exactly be mad at you for something YOU DON’T EVEN REMEMBER DOING so how can it possibly be to you like its something YOU did, the way it is to them....and stuff like that is going to be happening CONSTANTLY, because nobody can be on top of everything 24/7 and on their A game constantly and not ever slipping up or into old habits the second they get comfortable...and even if they CAN, having to be careful of everything they say or do around you so they dont hold things against you that you dont remember or expect things of you that you have no idea you’re expected to do, and on and on...that’d be stressful as HELL and it would inevitably take a toll, and guess what happens then?

Resentment starts to build, they start to get bitter that they to constantly be so careful, that they can’t just have their brother back or you can’t just ‘snap out of it,’ like hasnt it been long enough - it doesn’t matter that these things aren’t rational, because none of us are ever ALWAYS rational people, and sooner or later, there’s gonna be drama and YOU’RE going to be the one to take the brunt of it.

After all, llook how much drama there already is just because you had the nerve to tell a bunch of total strangers that hey, turns out I just got shot in the head and woke up missing a decade of world events and personal history and EVERYTHING ELSE, can you all just back the hell off until *I* even have a chance to figure out who the hell I even am right now, because until I know that, I cant even possibly be expected to be able to tell you who I am and thus how I’m different from that guy you all are not at all subtle about wishing was here in place of me, a person who also happens to feel pretty strongly about the fact that uh fuck you, I have a right to be here, living MY life, maybe I don’t want to constantly hang out with ppl knowing they’d all trade me in a second for some other guy who basically is just as much of a stranger to me.

Like, the only way Ric was able to get them to slow down and keep things to what HE was comfortable with until he was ready to handle more....information, expectations, hope, pressure, PEOPLE....was when he finally got fed up and told them all to just stay away, because what was a pretty reasonable request in his eyes, that hey maybe we take this at my pace since Im the one here who has to play catch up with the entire world...like, he apparently couldn’t even get them to stick to that, given the few interactions we’ve seen with Babs, for instance, without them inevitably trying to steer their conversations back in directions that led to where they wanted Ric/Dick to ultimately end up...whereas Ric was literally just trying to figure out where he even WANTED to end up, what that even looked like to him.

LOL and people are mad about this, because he’s not doing what they think Dick Grayson SHOULD do, he’s not acting the way they WANT Dick Grayson to act, EXPECT him to act....

even though he keeps reminding people he’s not Dick Grayson and its not fair to expect him to be or get pissed at him for acting how he wants instead of how some total stranger he doesn’t remember being used to act.

Its kinda how I’m always saying, like the biggest issue underlying just about every problem Dick’s ever faced, usually without much of a support system ever actually kicking in....is people expecting more of him than anyone has a right to expect, and rarely if ever offering the same in return. And how this is always most evident when he’s hurt or suffering, because the people around him constantly make HIS traumas and tragedies and crises more about THEM instead, which makes it impossible for him to ACTUALLY get any support, or even look out for HIMSELF, so long as they’re demanding attention for the reactions they’re having to....his amnesia. His reset button, his dramatic, traumatic upheaval of everything he knew and trusted to be reality, that he took for granted and now can’t feel safe taking anything for granted.

Cuz I mean look at the reactions from the Batfamily. Look at the reactions from Batfandom. All of that is holding true in the Ric Grayson storyline, is happening in reaction to it....

And the guy in question doesn’t have a single memory of being Dick Grayson, doesn’t FEEL like the person they expect him to be and thus just wishes people would leave him alone so he can just BE, without all this pressure and responsibilities and obligations that it feels like these people are just barely holding back any time they’re around him and are really just ITCHING for him to hurry up and BE Dick Grayson again so they can heap all that pressure and responsibility and obligation on him again. Like normal. Like the way its supposed to be.

LOL Dick Grayson can’t get a moment’s peace from what everyone else thinks he owes them or what he should be doing....even by literally peacing out of existence for now.

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fart-gate · 4 years

Text

SG1

Season 2 episode 9

🚨trigger warning: mentions of rape in my notes🚨

"SECRETS"

Notes by me

- the chief from abydos! Also daniels father in law :)

- no glasses!Daniel in this scene

- I love how dedicated Daniel is to his space family and their culture😌 like this random Egyptian planet was like I'm gonna keep you! And he said okie dokie

- "I couldnt possibly be safer than in the company of tealc" AKDEOSNDJSJSSKA

- Jack wants to go back too lol

- Daniel back in his robes 💕

- back home for daniel! To abydos!

- Bodyguard!tealc

- apologizing to sha'res dad for not being able to find her yet 😟 its not your fault babe!

- SHA'RE??? YOUVE BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME WHAT THE FUCK

- tealc:

- shes pregnant and that is....really bad. If its one of the goaulds that raped her. This got dark real quick

- "husband!" "My daniel" I CANT HANDLE THIS IM ALREADY GOING INSANE

- he doesnt want to bring his hopes up that its actually her 😭

- hes shocked but like.....i would be too

- I was right its apophis kid :\ this so fucked up

- Host Baby??? Big Yikes

- okay I'm gonna say this right fucking now before i watch any more. If Daniel blames her and gets mad at her for being raped and getting pregnant WITHOUT her consent than i will personally come thru this screen and slap the fuck out of him

- meanwhile! Jack and Sam bonding time!

- SAMS DAD

- sha're thinking Daniel wont love her anymore :( she better be wrong or I'm throwing hands

- she said the goauld is Amunet? Is that the dog goddess? Or the crocodile? I'm getting my Egyptian gods mixed up

- Daniel sitting outside to Process™

- "hasnt she gone thru enough?" My brain stopped working I'm so happy hes not not blaming her. Writers for once youre doing something right

- man hes really emotional about this

- tealcs right they need to take her anyway for her own safety.

- do u think he sympathizes with her bc hes been raped too? Its not said but I feel like thats what it is. He knows it wasnt her fault. And that also means they can comfort each other about what happened to them😟bc they understand

- okay why is sams dad being a total dill hole

- "Ive heard nothing about you, sir." Jack youre not off to a great first impression

- Jack making sam smile with sly jokes

- her dad knows she be lyin about her job

- he wants her to go to space HAHA if only he knew. His tiny brain would explode

- Daniel said he loves her no matter what and then gave her a big hug im LOSING MY MIND

- are we keeping the baby??? Am I gonna see Dad!Daniel and mom!sha're ??? 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

- micheal shanks eyes are super blue in this episode for my viewing pleasure only

- protective!Daniel 😍

- I'm just remembering how they met and when she showed him the forbidden drawings in the caves and they spent days together just sharing knowledge. When he found out they were married(in her culture) and just completely accepted it. When he saved her bc he realised he was in love. When he stayed on abydos so that he could live a full life with her and her people because he felt like he belonged. I'm fine

- parents need to ask before they set up things like job interviews. I have personal experience with this and im full of rage

- this reporter literally having a recording of Jack talking about the stargate and Jack flatly denying it. Zero fucks given

- Daniel saying he wont force sha're into anything. Bc up to this point shes been forced into so much!! He knows he needs to let her make her own choices!!! He gets it!!!

- im sorry both Daniel and sha're are so pretty in his episode. My bisexual brain is just having a real good time looking👀

- I REALLY really love it when she calls him "my dan-yel" ❤❤❤

- the SGC has a mole???

- LABOR somebody boil water

- oh its my goauld mans with the sick earrings

- Daniel helping her give birth. Sitting behind her and helping her breathe. I'm love

- "this is where we hid from Ra remember?" Ajdjsisnana thats such a cool detail

- he'll never leave her again there goes my heart

- "It's O'Neill. With two L's. Theres another colonel O'Neil, but he has no sense of humor at all."

- dont you hate when youre about to uncover a huge government secret and then immediately get hit by a car

- shooting the zat gun into the camera was a cool directing choice 🔥

- sam: so I'm getting a medal for my service this week! Cool right?

Jacob Carter: I have cancer

- he could not have been any more blunt

- ok dude cant you just accept the fact that she cant tell you what her job? Dont you know what top secret means? Cant you just be proud of her for what she does already???? Dick

- "I will always love you!!"

- she is scared she will lose Daniel and the baby :(

- its a boy! 💙💙

- the goauld is back in control oh god Daniel run

- shes actually pretty scary as a goauld

- yeah ok shoot the woman who just gave birth tealc YEESH

- that was a good idea to frame Heru'hur tho

- Daniel hesitating to leave her again. My heart is breaking 😢

- they saved the baby at least

- poor sha're didnt even get to see her son 😔

- bringing the baby back to the grandfather was a good idea😊

- this baby is SO SO cute

- is Daniel a stepdad now. Is he gonna come back and play catch with the kid when hes older. Is he gonna fully adopt him. I want him to fully adopt him

- Jack blaming himself for the reporters death. You gotta stop doing this to yourself man

- black shirt Daniel 👀👀👀👀

- HAHA tealc shoving the jaffa into the vortex lmaooo

- "you dare challenge me?"

"I was thinking about it"

- WHEN JACK GRABS HIS KNIFE REAL QUICK AND SPEARS IT INTO APPOPHIS HAND

- she definitely saw them and didnt say anything

- "are you alright?"

"No. No im not.........but I will be."

"She looked directly at us, Daniel jackson. And yet she did not reveal our position." YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS LADS. Theres still hope for my girl. She can fight this I believe in her ✊😤

- I will say it again tho. This storyline for her is very fucked up. No excuses, its just a bit over used in sci fi for the women characters to have surprise pregnancies.

Whump under the cut

Tealc whump: fought with jaffa

Daniel jackson whump: shocked, emotional, crying, forced kneeling, back handed

Sam carter whump: emotional , crying

🎶listening to You Are The Reason by Calum Scott and Leona Lewis 🎶 in honor of Daniel and sha're making me lose my collective mind

No glasses!Daniel for most of the episode

#stargate season 2 #no glasses!daniel #bodyguard!tealc #tw rape #tealc whump season 2 #daniel whump season 2 #sam whump season 2

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ofcnoel · 4 years

Text

𝓻𝓪𝓺'𝓼 ( 𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕧𝕖 ) 𝓹𝓵𝓸𝓽 𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽 𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 002

hey y’all it’s me, lowering the bar for us all. as usual let me know if i missed anything cause to no one’s surprise : i’m dumb ! now that i have 4 muses i wanna like,,,, make sure i have a good amount of plots for each one sooooo don’t mind me if i roll up demanding attention. alright, bye love u plot with me pls imma do replies now

𝔹𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕖 ℙ𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕔𝕠𝕥𝕥 / 24

leigh-anne pinnock. cisfemale. she/her. ／ billie prescott just pulled up blasting girls need love by summer walker — that song is so them ! you know, for a(n) twenty-four year old singer, i’ve heard they’re really pessimistic, but that they make up for it by being so audacious. if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say small forgotten & meaningless tattoos, patron filled shot glasses, and texts left on read . here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble ! ( it’s me raq im sorry u have to see 4 muses from me )

intro here

pinterest tba

vc: little mix // leigh-anne pinnock ( * possibly summer walker im. still debating )

tl;dr : her parents were divorced, which sent her into a crazy phase of running away and not trusting anyone around her. her father gave up on her, she hates her mother – her grandfather billy is the only person who seemed to continue to care and support her . she’s still quite untrusting, her best defense mechanism ��being sarcasm and a little bit of coldness. she’s not the best lover cause she doesn’t believe in all that but she is a rather loyal friend. if you know any of my older muses she’s,,, a margo lite. margo with some goals and direction .

current connections :

best friends : girls of equilibrium, harris, milena , kami

i-- lmao that’s it i’m working on the rest

wanted connections:

party friends

bad influences on her

good influences on her

people she’s a bad influence on

someone new to the industry that she’s protective over

casual flings

exes

anything pls

𝔻𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝔻𝕒𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕘 / 23

normani. cis-female. she/her. ／ dove darling just pulled up blasting pressing me by rico nasty — that song is so them ! you know, for a twenty three year old actress/musician, i’ve heard they’re really stubborn, but that they make up for it by being so vivacious . if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say early 2000s r&b playlists, princess cut diamonds, and shiny lipgloss over perfectly lined lips . here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble !

intro here.

pinterest tba.

vc: doja cat & normani

she’s a hollywood starlite but also kinda a meme. daughter of an actor and a socialite – dove comes from bunches of money. she’s a bit spoiled, but that doesn’t really make her any less friendly. tends to expect people to like her cause she’s so good at pretending. still, she balances that with being genuine. often described as surprisingly quirky in the media dove is honestly too fucking silly for her own good. probably anime trash on the low. your pr team’s wet dream thanks to her squeaky clean public reputation . just because she’s never been caught doing something bad – definitely does not mean she’s an angel by any means.

current connections:

best / close friends: marnie, kaia , maeve, parker, jack, allie, ashley ,

current pr boyfriend : brodie

childhood best friend: milena

ex on good terms: rhett

exes on bad terms: harris

flirtationship: logan

party friends: angel

ex fiance: harris

wanted connections:

party friends aka people dove really only hangs with in passing, usually after a few drinks .

ex on bad terms there probably aren’t many of these ! but, give her one that just really doesn’t like her bc they dated after her engagement was called off and she was more emotionally unavailable than ever.

ex pr relationships: self explaintory but, i’d like to see maybe one where they fell for her and she’s like “lmao this is fake… relax.”

enemies ! the more the better to balence out how many friends she has skajafs

anything else!

ℕ𝕠𝕖𝕝 𝕃𝕒𝕦𝕣𝕖𝕟𝕥 / 22

― chance perdomo. he/him. cismale. ／ noel laurent just pulled up blasting a boy is a gun by tyler, the creator — that song is so them ! you know, for a(n) twenty-two year old rapper, i’ve heard they’re really reckless, but that they make up for it by being so altruistic. if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say rolled up sleeves on an oversized sweater, missed 2am calls, messy notebooks filled with lyrics. here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble !

intro here

pinterest tba

vc: kevin abstract

aka gay panic . my mother trucking baby. period. too kind to ever really stand up for himself. my one muse that is definitely a pacifist and avoids confrontation at all costs – unless you’re coming for someone he loves. ( but tbh even then he doesn’t really want smoke sgkads) literally just a sweet boy. super soft inside and out, loyal to a fault, and overall well meaning. nurturer / dad friend . will often ignore his own problems simply for what he thinks is the greater good of his friends. selfless to a fault. tendency to fall into bad situations thanks to his reckless nature and inability to say no.

current connections:

best / close friends: malachi, future iridescence boys, milena, brodie, maeve, marnie,

neighbor / light meaningless admiration / neighbors : harris

complicated not ( but definitely ) boyfriend: scout

weird terms: samyr

he’s scared of them: parker lmao

past hookups: valentina

friendzoned friends : kaia

sister: hallie

wanted connections:

more of the irridesence boys ( deadass the next person who brings one of them will get free dash icons from me. any style. i’m begging. bribery? it works ! )

unlikely friends !

exes on bad terms and good terms.

people he produces for .

anything else your sweet lil head desires !

𝕊𝕔𝕠𝕥𝕥𝕪 𝕊𝕥.𝕁𝕒𝕞𝕖𝕤 / 23

luke hemmings. cismale. he/him. ／ scotty st.james just pulled up blasting despicable by grandson — that song is so them ! you know, for a(n) twenty-three year old musician, i’ve heard they’re really detached ,but that they make up for it by being so venturesome . if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say old guitars, the smell of cigarettes and bourbon, and hundred dollar bills thrown in the air . here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble ! ( it’s me! the raq )

intro

pinterest here

vc: 5sos / luke hemmings

a hot…. mess tbh. scott’s been through so much so he’s really guarded , over protective , and self loathing as hell. tendency to keep everyone at an arms length unless you’re someone very special to him and does not deal well with whatever he deems betrayal. though, that doesn’t stop him from being an absolute buffoon when it comes to seriously committing. as a side effect though, if you’re on the list of people he really fucks with he will fight for you. also, will fight cause he’s short tempered and shit at expressing himself. really fears abandonment seriously. lowkey scared of the dark eye – :( he’s such a sweet boy on the inside but outwardly a prick like 99.9% of the time.

current connections:

best / good friends: brodie , harris , maeve , gus and parker

enemies: angel / harris

acquaintances ( aka friends but he’s too much of a dick to claim them ): ashley, kaia??

his sister but he doesn’t know it : ashley

ex on really bad terms: genevieve / marnie

adoptive sibling: stas, scout

childhood girlfriend / something really complicated : maeve

wanted connections:

unrequited crush on him because im sure he milked that bc he wants affection w/o the commitment

party “friends” friends is so loose because he… never calls more than like 4 ppl his friend but he treats them like friends akass

a very bad ex pr relationship that he publicly cheated on so they could end things because he literally can’t fucking stan pr shit akjdfas

neighbors !

an enemies with benefits Perhaps? dont see that going further than they bicker but also smash ig sakfdjafd

anything else !

#this graphic? TERRIBLE!#but i had to add bill #also plot with me :)#plot list #yeeeeeee #connections list

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ladyadalicialove · 4 years

Text

Me, says I will be on hiatus and probs won’t post anything cus exams and essays

Also me: procrastinating very hard

Don't mind me just salty about the new episode and what not...also I don’t want to finish my essay.

Anyway since Chat Blanc was basically fanservice that served no significant purpose to the plot of the show other than "what if" scenarios. I've decided to share some AUs to put some good wholesome content back into the fandom.

Also I need to write these things down before I forget....

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Previous Holder is now your Babysistter AU

(I don’t have an actual name for it lmao suggestions?)

I’ve had this one in head for a couple of months now. The premise of this AU is the miraculous doesn't just come with the Kwami but a ghost/apparition of the previous holder. Unlike the kwami's they aren't what makes the suit or have any magical abilities. Rather they are just glorified babysitters, looking after and guiding the new holder the best they can. Some are some magical rules with them though:

Only the miraculous holder and thier Kwami can see them, when they are still in their civilian forms.

They don’t disappear when the holder transform.

When other miraculous holders are transformed they can see other holder’s apparition, but when they undo the transformation they can no longer see them.

The holders and kwamis can touch them as if they were real, but they phase through everything and everyone else.

I liked the idea of the holders prior to Marinette and Adrien being a pirate and a sailor who fell madly in love. They unfortunately died together and never had kids so when they came back as “mentors” for two lovesick teens they adopt them so quickly.

Adrien gets Captain Noir, the most ferocious and seductive pirate of the seven seas! And she absolutely adores Adrien and quickly assumes a motherly role in his life. The captain doesn’t like that he is alone in the mansion and gives every second of her attention to him. She calls him her "big kitten" and tries to ruin Gabriel's day every second she can. She also despises Nathalie but tolerates Gorilla.

Marinette gets Commander Bug, a stoic and ever so suave solider of his majesty's Royal Navy. He is very chill and helps Marinette to calm down when she starts acting up. Since he is a high ranking soldier, he often assists Marinette in creating strategies to defeat villains in both her hero and civilian life. Tbh he is a very reliable guy and very sweet.

Honestly the two of them basically become parents to the two lovesick teens... and I imagine the story would literally be them ready to throw hands with Gabriel and Lila. Commander bug though ever so serious, meets Lila and immediately takes on the Captain Noir’s more... vulgar traits.

Commander Bug: Hey Marinette *nudges her* Dead men tell no tales. 😎 *makes obscene gesture towards Lila*

Marinette: FOR THE LAST TIME IM NOT MURDERING LILA

Tikki: no wait maybe he has a point

Captain Noir: Ye really need to scupper that deadbeat father of yours off the side of this building. Hey Plagg, do ye think I can take custody of Adrien??

Adrien: I’m not throwing my father off the building!! He can be nice!!

Captain Noir: Oh no ye have Stockholm syndrome... maybe I can cure it with some rum?? That always helped the new sailors who were home sick! 😱

Adrien: oh my god I’m only fourteen 😦

Plagg: *laughing hysterically* at least you can drink your woes away!!! 😂🤣

And yes they both like the Couffaines mainly because they live on a boat.

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The Mythical Miraculous AU:

I wrote and planned this one before it was revealed there are multiple miraculous boxes. So in this universe let’s just say that the events of feast never happened. Prior to the “episode” Fu relinquishes guardianship and loses his memories. Let’s say there is no sentimonster that caused the downfall of the monks but rather Fu causing the temple to burn down another way. How? Maybe he left a torch unsupervised and burned the place down. Why? Idk that’s just how it’s happening now.

Anyway this AU stemmed from doing so many OC drawing requests in January. And I created seven miraculous OC's whose kwamis/concept are based on the seven virtues. They are also all based on mythical creatures.

In the story I imagined that Marinette is 17 and was giving guardianship over the miracle box some time ago. One day while messing around with it, she discovers that underneath the ying and yang centre piece there was cyclinder compartment that contained a parchment. Unrolling it had printed on it six locations along with the name of the miraculous associated.

Tikki informs her of the seven miraculous that were created as backups if the the miracle box or miraculous’ were ever stolen, lost, destroyed etc. Basically the last resort. Thus they needed to be kept out of the miracle box and in the world and always ready to defend. Hence they were given to families across Europe/Asia who promised their loyalties to the miraculous cause.

Marinette decides since it’s summer break and she isn’t busy, to find each of them and get them to help in the fight against Hawkmoth. Tikki just rolls with it.

In no particular order these are the mythical miraculous and their holders:

London, UK ~ The Unicorn and Pegasus Miraculous of Kindness and Humility: They are currently owned by 12 year old British Twins, Iris and Ivy. They come from a rich family and only recently acquired the miraculous from their father and uncle. Ivy is all about sports and is extremely athletic, Iris prefers to read and paint. Apollo is Ivy’s kwami and he is a white unicorn, and Artemis is Iris’ kwami and is a black pegasus. The miraculous are anklets.

Sovana - Tuscany, Italy ~ The Ogre Miraculous of Charity: Currently owned by Raphael, a 21 year old Italian guy studying Archaeology. He lives out in the Italian countryside with his parents and many siblings, he has a big family who owns a huge block of farmland. He is super kind and very charitable and received his miraculous from his Nonna. Orc is Raphael’s kwami and he is a selfish little bastard but he is huggable. The miraculous is a belt buckle.

Nice, Paris ~ The Pooka Miraculous of Diligence: Currently owned by Colette, a 25 year old French girl who is busy teaching six year olds, she doesn’t have any family as she was orphaned as an infant. She has always had her miraculous as she was left at the orphanage with it. She was unfortunately never adopted out, but she is extremely motivated individual with big dreams. Cinna is Colette’s kwami, she is quite lazy and often called Cinna-bun. The miraculous is a hair clip.

Kazan, Russia ~ The Phoenix Miraculous of Chastity/Abstinence: Currently owned by Orion, a flamboyant and arrogant 30 year old. He is extremely beautiful and a very proud man, and most would think he is a bit of a f*ckboi but nope. He is just saving himself for the right person. His father gifted him the miraculous when he was 15. Newborn is Orion’s kwami, and she is little b*tch and very stuck up. The miraculous is an armband.

Nazareth, Israel ~ The Griffin Miraculous of Patience: Currently owned by Nevaeh, a 16 year old revolutionist and active feminist. She has big ideas and big dreams that she hopes with enough dedication and patience she can achieve. Unlike the others, she received the miraculous from her dying neighbour, who was an old man in his nineties who had no children. Nevaeh may not be an intended holder but she is a brilliant one! Constance is Navaeh’s kwami, she is extremely wise and a soft speaker. The miraculous is a thumb ring.

Seoul, Korea ~ The Sea Serpent Miraculous of Temperance: Currently owned by 19 year old aspiring pop singer Levi. Levi is extremely shy and laid back, he tends to be soft-spoken and polite.Often he dreams of being an Idol but his shy personality isn’t doing him any favours. His older brother was originally the miraculous holder but instead of accepting any potential responsibility he dumped it onto him. It was originally gifted to his brother by their mother. Sai is Levi’s kwami, he is extremely skittish and is just riddled with anxiety over the belief of the world ending. He is a bit of a conspiracy theorist. The miraculous is a fin pendant necklace.

Of course Marinette in three months convinces them all to go to Paris and stay there until the defeat of Hawkmoth.

During her travels and time with them, she unravels the mysterious of these seven miraculous and their history. What are their abilities? Why do they specifically correlate with the seven virtues? How powerful are they?

Ivy and Iris stemming from a rich family, rent out a lovely penthouse for the seven of them in Paris. Colette decides to be the legal guardian of the minors since she actually is French. Orion decides he is gonna be a dick. The rest are there for a good time and to kick a buterrfly's butt. And thus ensue chaos, pranks, romance and a whole lotta arguing.

I can only imagine all the kwami’s and Marinette sitting, drinking green tea while watching these seven holders become absolute hooligans.

I already drew up concept art of them but they are not good sketches so yeah maybe I will show you guys another time.

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Idk why I think this but I just figured everyone would hate AUs like this so I don’t bother posting these ideas especially if they are not fleshed out. I have so many but these are my most promising ones.

The previous holder AU is one of my favourites because I had Captain Noir and Commander Bug’s story in my head forever. I love me some pirates. I know their whole miraculous story, like how they fell in love and why she became a pirate etc. The part where they become ghost mentors is a fairly new addition, been rolling it around for a month now and it is 100% caused by the shitty parenting via la agreste.

The mythical miraculous one is extremely fun for me, but it was one of those AUs were I believed no one would like it so....yeah enjoy it?

If you wanna know more about each one send me an ask or send names suggestions!!

#miraculous ladybug #miraculousladybug #mlb #marinette dupain cheng #marinette #adrien agreste #miraculousau #previous holder au #mythical miraculous au #adrien gets a good parental figure #this is me procrastinating #ml season 3

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seokkie123 · 5 years

Text

Swish

-- showho, rated T, 1.7k words

for the prompt “weightlifting fairy kim bok joo” on twitter! I haven't watched this show, but I googled the plot and then somehow came up with this although it isn't exactly the same. also I really did not think it would be this long asdfgh I didn’t wanna write out full sentences so I did this script type thing, but the next thing i know the damn thing is over 1000 words smh @ myself. anyway I hope you enjoy uwu

Lee Hoseok: champion weightlifter of X University, won multiple awards with his impressive display of strength despite having a somewhat leaner frame, however his personality is a complete 360 from his body— the softest man you’ll ever meet, cries at sad movies, loves his family to death, strangely does not seem to have many friends...

Son Hyunwoo: supposedly captain of X University’s pro level swim team, probably has the same number of trophies as disqualifications... no doubt the best on the team but rarely shows up to practices, has the body of a greek god but his aloof, occasionally rude personality turns people away

Lee Jooheon: Hoseok’s close friend, training to lift weights himself, is the only one that knows Hoseok’s story, and why he doesn’t have many other friends, warm and friendly but don’t piss him off

Yoo Kihyun: Photographer and reporter for X University’s newspaper, has interviewed Hoseok several times, and Hyunwoo only once for 5 minutes, may have a thing going on with Changkyun but don’t tell Hyunwoo

Lee Minhyuk: one of the few rays of sunshine in Hyunwoo’s life, Hyunwoo’s roommate and close friend, also one of the only people Hyunwoo trusts to tell the truth about Changkyun

Chae Hyungwon: kind of a mystery since he’s either asleep, drowning in a hoodie and long hair, or modeling for Kihyun, used to date Jooheon, extremely observant and knows more than the rest think he does

Im Changkyun: Hyunwoo’s adopted younger brother, knows how soft Hyunwoo really is, very sheltered by Hyunwoo after what happened in their past, rarely leaves the house, instead studying on his own and winning scholarships to keep them both from drowning in debt

—-

Scene starts with Hoseok complaining to Jooheon about wanting someone to cuddle, someone to love. They’re studying at the library but Hoseok keeps getting distracted by a couple seated a few rows away so Jooheon proposes an idea.

Jooheon: You know what? Today’s the day. [slams hands on his desk]

Hoseok: Huh?

Jooheon: We’re gonna get you a boyfriend. Or at least kickstart your nonexistent love life. Come on, pack your stuff, you’re not doing work anyway. I know exactly where to go to find guys your type.

Hoseok: [flailing] Wha— wait—

They leave the library, Jooheon briefly pulling Hoseok behind a wall to avoid talking to his ex before heading over to the campus gym.

Hoseok: [pouty] Jooheonie, I work out here all the time, I won’t find anyone—

Jooheon: [puts his hand over Hoseok’s mouth] No. Tell me who you like and I’ll make it happen.

They watch people entering and leaving the gym for a few minutes, then Hoseok finally points to someone talking to the guy at the counter.

Jooheon: [visibly pales] Don’t point at him!! You’re... You’re kidding right?

Hoseok: [innocently confused]

Jooheon: Fuck, you’re not kidding are you.

Hoseok: No? He looks hot.. I mean he’s probably too hot for me but—

Jooheon: No, no hyunggg... that’s Son Hyunwoo, captain of our swim team.

Jooheon goes on to tell a wide-eyed Hoseok about Hyunwoo’s reputation.

Hoseok: Really? Are you sure those aren’t rumors... If he’s the captain then there’s no way he can be that bad..

Jooheon: I’m just telling you what I know but if you still want to go after him then it’s your call.

Hoseok: Hmm... I might. Not because I want to date him but because I want to know more about him.

Hyunwoo is seen leaving the gym, walking their way.

Jooheon: Hyung, don’t do something stupid—

Hoseok: [determined] The first step of my plan is to get him to notice me! So I’m just gonna walk by and pretend to be on my phone and bump into him, wish me luck!

Hoseok walks his way, weaving through a few other people walking by, and ducks his head, pretending to be absorbed in his phone. But he hadn’t taken into account how fast Hyunwoo was walking, and before he can stop, they quite literally collide, and Hoseok is pushed away.

Hyunwoo: [not looking at him] Stay the fuck away from me.

Hoseok: [rubbing his arm, upset and mad] Wha... What the hell?!

Jooheon: [runs up to Hoseok once the coast is clear and Hyunwoo is gone] Hyung!! Are you okay?!

Hoseok: No! He can’t just do that me, he doesn’t even know me!

Jooheon: Aaaah, I knew something bad would come out of this... He’s just like that sometimes, don’t take it personally.

Hoseok: [furious] I have to take it personally! He pushed me and was downright rude to me and im gonna make him apologize! [rushes off in the opposite direction]

Jooheon: [softly] What have I done?

Next scene has Hoseok outside of the swimming pool, waiting to confront Hyunwoo. Most of the other guys are out of the water since practice ended a few minutes ago but Hyunwoo is still swimming laps, much to Hoseok’s annoyance. After 10 minutes he finally gets out and Hoseok rushes in.

Hoseok: [stuttering] Son Hyunwoo!! [starts to fluster while watching his dripping wet body]

Hyunwoo: [glances over] Do I know you?

Hoseok: [almost shaking under Hyunwoo’s gaze] You should. You shoved me and were rude to me for no reason!! I want an apology!

Hyunwoo: [watches Hoseok bored] I think you have the wrong person.

Hoseok: I don’t!! It was two days ago, outside the gym, I was walking by and bumped into me and then told me to get the fuck away from you or something!

Hyunwoo: [blinks] Ah. I remember now.

Hoseok:....and?

Hyunwoo: I wasn’t talking to you.

Hoseok: What?! So it wasn’t you who pushed me either?? Just admit you’re a dick and apologize to me.

Hyunwoo: Hey...

Hoseok: [shrinks a little, stepping back] It really hurt my arm you know... and what kind of person just goes around saying...

At that moment a few swimmers walk by between Hyunwoo and Hoseok. Hoseok steps back to give them space, but then slips and falls right into the pool. The other guys maybe let out a few laughs but quickly move on, not bothered to stay. Hyunwoo seems puzzled, but doesn’t do anything until it’s clear Hoseok can’t swim.

Hyunwoo: [sighs] Of course he can’t swim..

Without much grace, Hyunwoo dives back into the pool and easily lifts Hoseok to the surface. Hoseok is coughing, clinging onto Hyunwoo and quite honestly looks miserable. Looking down at him, Hyunwoo feels something strange for a moment.

Hyunwoo: You should really stay away from pools if you can’t swim.

Hoseok: [still coughing, shaken up]

Hyunwoo: Well, I guess now is a good time to tell you I really wasn’t talking to you when I said to leave me alone. I had my earphones in one ear, and I don’t think you saw. And for shoving you... you kind of were in my way. [shrugs, a little awkward] I... I’m sorry I hurt your arm though.

Hoseok: [out of breath, not meeting Hyunwoo’s eyes once he realizes he’s still clinging onto him, and Hyunwoo hasn’t let go either] You... you’re bad at apologizing.

Hyunwoo: Thanks. I don’t do it much, so consider yourself special.

Hoseok: [blushes a tiny bit, unsure of what he meant by that]

Hyunwoo: [finally becomes aware of the fact that they haven’t moved, and treads them over to the steps out of the pool] Here, get up.

Hoseok: [frozen] I... can’t move my legs.

Hyunwoo: [supresses a sigh] Okay then hold onto me. [shifts Hoseok around onto his back, and with some effort, piggybacks him out of the pool]

Hoseok: [wobbles over to a chair and collapses in it] Um.. thanks for saving me. I’m sorry I called you a dick. [his teeth start to chatter]

Hyunwoo: [stares at the sight of a drenched and weak Hoseok for a second before leaving to the locker room]

Hoseok: [confused and upset when he doesn’t come back, gets up to head home while leaving a trail of water behind him, kind of wanting to cry] He... just left me... I guess this is my fault for overreacting again...

Hoseok makes it all the way through the sports facility, attracting stares as he does, and sniffling until he hears someone calling out.

Random guy: [running towards Hoseok] Hey! Hey you!

Hoseok: Me?

Random guy: You know there’s like no way the bus drivers will let you get on while you’re drippin water everywhere right?

Hoseok: [feeling close to tears again] I know. I was gonna walk home.

Random guy: Really? How far of a walk is it?

Hoseok:.... like an hour and a half.

Random guy: [laughs] Okay. Well if you wanna walk then I won’t stop you, but if you’d like towels and dry clothes we do have some—

Hoseok: Yes!! I mean.. yes, please. But where... how...

Random guy: Almost all the guys on the team always keep spare clothes in their lockers. The older guys tend to try and push everyone else into the pool as a prank... senior privileges. [brings Hoseok into the locker room]

Hoseok: [nervously glancing around hoping not to run into Hyunwoo, but at the same time wishing he could talk to him more]

Random guy: Hey, do you have the clothes?

Random guy #2: I need to talk to you. [glances at Hoseok] Dude, you look pathetic. Take these towels and dry yourself off, we’ll be back.

Hoseok: Oh... [watches the guys leave to have a hushed conversation a few lockers down, sighs and drys his hair and body as best as he can]

Once the guys come back, they have some clothes in their arms. They seem a bit nervous for some reason, but Hoseok is too grateful and happily accepts them anyway. He quickly throws the shirt and jeans on, liking that the shirt hangs a bit loosely on him. Hoseok thanks them again as he rushes out of the locker room, needing to get home and recount the happenings of today to Jooheon.

——

Scene changes to Hoseok getting off the bus at his stop. There seems to be some construction going on, so he takes another route to get to his tiny apartment.

He turns a corner, and almost bumps into someone.

Hoseok: [yelps, and jumps back so they don’t collide before staring up at him in horror]

Hyunwoo: [just looking Hoseok up and down]

Hoseok: Um. I didn’t know you lived around here— I was just— There was construction so— I’ll leave [tries to rush away from the awkward situation]

Hyunwoo: Wait.

Hoseok: [freezes]

Hyunwoo: Why are you wearing my clothes.

Hoseok: [internally having a meltdown] ...why is this my life.

~ to be continued ~

#showho #shownu #wonho #yea i called it x university bc i got too lazy to find a proper name #tbh writing this made me miss roleplaying so much sjhdjks its so much easier #easier and faster and lets me be more creative... sigh #rly wanna get back into it but idk how to find someone that will rp as seokkie for my hyunwoo #monsta x

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vaguely-concerned · 5 years

Text

I’m back! Temeraire Let’s Read:Tongues of Serpents

- Tharkay literally shows up at the beginning of the second sentence; STRONG start, I highly approve, great improvement on every level

fsdafhsadkjlfh cooly tossing tables and throwing people’s drinks in their faces in the bar brawl fkjsdhfksdalfhasdj this ain’t his first rodeo huh

- these dumbasses having to clean up from the bar brawl before going home so their dragons don’t go out there and demand to have a word with the dudes who bullied their lil boys... oh my g o d

- “it was true, if one wished to be very particular about such things, that laurence was a convicted felon” t e m e r a i r e... ~*technicality schmechnicality*~ it was barely treason at all really

also temeraire being in super protective mother hen/older brother mode over the eggs is perfect

- Jane Rolands bluff, jovial letter writing is Everything

- “Have Temeraire throw him overboard,” Tharkay had suggested laconically, when Laurence had escaped to his quarters for a little relief and some piquet . . . “He can fish him out again later,” he added, as an afterthought.

A VISIONARY. An unmitigated joy. “Have Temeraire throw him overboard”. He says what we’re all thinking.

- AAAAAAAAH MUTUAL FIRST NAME BASIS!!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL WTF HAVE THEY BEEN DOING ON THIS TRIP TELL ME IN DETAIL WHEN THE SWITCH HAPPENED PLEASE (also I really like that the first instance we see is “But Tenzing, I cannot trust myself” b/c that was literally the whole point of that scene in VoE. laurence... yes you can. tfw your crush is the goodiest of twoshoes and can barely move for it and doesn’t even knoooow)

- y’know if Laurence could get over this thought that asking a direct question to a friend is just ~*intolerably rude*~ he could get so much shit done

(I guess tharkay, clearly a follower of the rosa diaz school of ‘no one is ever going to know shit about me’, is like fuck yeah I’ve struck gold with this one)

- “So spake the pot” oh I do love Actually Pretty Chill Dad William Laurence finally letting the snark out more frequently, it suits him very much (I guess his main claims to fame in a lot of circles is a) treason and b) spoiling his dragon rotten)

- rankin’s name is mentioned and everyone’s like HIIISSSSSSSS and RIGHTLY SO FUCK THAT GUY JUSTICE FOR LEVITAS

- temeraire is talking to the egg about consent and saying he’ll make sure it won’t have to do anything it doesn’t want to fjklsadhfkaslhfsd my heart

- lol lol lol weeeell in hindsight who could’ve guessed captain and second in command of the dragon pirates would have a materialistic superficial kid huh

- . . . Granby said, with a look half affection and half exasperation oh granby baby still carrying that torch huh

- lol lol lol just the implication of sara maden and laurence silently tops up his drink and he’s like ‘cheers’ and they’re both quiet for a moment flskdfs

if you think about it that must’ve been such a wild day in his life tho -- like first Laurence furiously fires him for being gone at a crucial moment and then immediately unfires him when it turns out he’s been chasing a lead and being the only goddamn person really working on solving all their problems (as is his wont), then he finds out his ex is getting married and steadfastly pretends it doesn’t even bother him, lol what are feelings I heard only losers have them (extremely relatable -- I guess he must have known it was in the cards though, because he specifically tells Laurence at the beginning he didn’t intend to go back to Istanbul, so it’s been over for a while?) then they go on a life and death chase through the sewers, and THEN, before he knows it, after half a book of being kind of a mistrustful dick to him, Laurence does a 180° and is there offering eternal friendship with big soulful eyes after seeing him get upset one time and y’know I guess I see why that got to him lol

- aw man I know it’s never going to happen but I am getting sort of wistful and teary-eyed over this pirate (cough cough I mean legally sanctioned privateer of course) AU that’s going entirely to waste

here are some tags I left on this superb piece of fanart: #I just got to the part where tharkay makes the suggestion and like... I know it's not happening #but what a shimmering tender mother of pearl dream to carry in one's heart lol #just a lil pirate family out there wrecking shit #temeraire would get wind of what the east india company actually does and they'd inevitably turn against them and fuck 'em up... *sigh* #fix it fic: the boys kiss and the east india company is stopped from committing further atrocities! all is well

so that’s basically my position on that

- “I’m sure there’s nothing too dangerous out there, in the fucking untamed Australian wilderness,” Temeraire said, tempting fate to a frankly anxiety-inducing extent

- hell yeah demane is the only one with presence of mind to actually find some food; you go buddy <3

- my boy tharkay slinking off in the middle of the night without telling anyone and solving everyone’s problems... *dabs at eyes* just like old times

- oh wow rankin really is just a piece of shit in every way huh

- fhasdklhfsadfsad temeraire being like ‘I know tharkay is a strong independent human who is perfectly capable of making his own decisions and don’t need no dragon... but also he’s clearly one of my humans tho why is he riding on another dragon :(’ THE CUTEST SHIT

- temeraire silently dissing his dad over refusing to believe in ghosts ~*except*~ for the holy spirit adslfhaskjdlhfs

- demane taking in the strange little hatchling... im crey... he truly hits me straight in the heart every time

also laurence steadfastly Doing The Right Thing and following his convictions is so deeply healing after all that bullshit he went through in the last book... makes me feel all safe and calm inside haha

- actually when you think about it it’s so fucked up that they apparently just straight up murder dragons with birth defects in england as a matter of course b/c like. dragons come out of the egg fully sentient and capable of understanding what’s being said around them. kulingile literally understood every word they were saying as they discussed whether or not they should be KILLING HIM. j e s u s thank god for demane and laurence’s stubborn insistence on being good

- temeraire going straight from mother hen to extremely impatient and jealous older brother the moment an egg hatches never gets old. all these dumb little babies just complaining and stealing his crew ugh (HOW FUCKING CUTE is him deciding kulingile could be a scholar or something tho #dragon rights)

- “I wish,” Temeraire said to Laurence, “I do wish that other dragons were not always thinking me peculiar . . . it makes one doubtful.” BABY BOY NOOOO he’s just so sweet and he’s so secretly scared that laurence might resent him a little after the whole treason business and OW right in the parental heart that fucks me up

- Temeraire’s indignant “Oh!”s always soothe my soul it’s so adorable

- little emily roland yelling “damn you all for cowards!” after a bunch of grown men fleeing while she reloads her gun and takes aim again is incredible poetic cinema (and also demane joining her... I love the bond they’ve got going on in the background here)

- aw poor sipho :( at least he still has temeraire to nerd out with and stuff but that’s some difficult shit to process for a kid

kulingile bobbing around tethered to temeraire like a small balloon at a fair is such an image, what a blessing, temeraire’s exasperated brand of babysitting is so funny

- laurence being a Dad to the kids in his crew... mana from heaven

- YESSS they crossed the endless miles of DEADLY AUSTRALIAN WILDERNESS so laurence could be MORTIFIED as the emperor’s adopted son at a party this is the content I am here for

- hell yeah let’s play a round of pimp my captain!!!!!!!!!!

“And,” Laurence said. “And you are certain that this should be appropriate for the occasion; not, perhaps, excessive?” I can’t b r e a t h e he can’t even say shit because his dragon boi is so happy fsaldfjsldhfasjlh and then granby making fond fun of him what a beautiful cherry on top of this sweet sweet laurence being embarrassed sundae

- william ‘I’m here to kick ass and describe menswear in fastidious detail and I’ve already kicked my own ass twice today’ laurence strikes again

- this description of the dragons sitting around squabbling as they watch shiny sparkly things is the most endearing few pages in modern literature do not @ me

- it’s kind of fucked up that the emperor of china is giving laurence more of the sort of warmth and validation a father should than his actual dad ever did lol. u did good curing the dragon plague, weird european adopted son I am proud of you

- every time temeraire is really upset about something my soul suffers a small wound

thank god he doesn’t actually know what opium is really used for most of the time yet (also I am obligated to divulge that I am entirely charmed by tharkay’s sardonic yet clear eyed cynicism on the issue, I cannot be anything but what I am and he hasn’t had enough proper page time in this half of the book so I will take what I can get)

- ...I kind of just realized that I imagine the sea serpents basically as long-ass gyaradoses... OH NO

I will say I respect the ‘give no fucks’ vibe they give off -- it’s a real ‘we’re here to eat fish & party and if you try to get in our way we’re gonna have you as a snack’ mood and I cannot fault them for it

- iskierka is such a fuckboi it’s glorious

- nOOOOOO tharkay is leaving again fuck ;_______; is his life just an endless procession of semi-unwillingly having to go back to istanbul again these days

Temeraire did not see why Tharkay should have to go so far, only to deliver news; and particularly when he did not seem as though he wished to go, very much. DDDDDDDD: THIS SUCKS you know that when a) he’s letting it show and b) temeraire notices it that he is dragging his heels big time over this lol

‘there can be very little to call you back to this part of the world any time soon’ LAURENCE YOU 24 KARAT IDIOT YOU ARE HERE HE CAME TO AUSTRALIA FOR YOU ALREADY WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

all that said whenever I see a ‘Tenzing’ on the page my heart does a happy little dance. ah well now let’s settle in and wait for what horrible catastrophe will happen now that tharkay is gone... come back soon buddy

- ooooooooooooh that is so good, using the last chapter + epilogue to show how the... idk moral wound I guess laurence received victory of eagles has finally healed, that’s so reassuring. he just wants to do good things for good causes and can’t be badgered, cajoled, threatened or convinced to do anything less anymore and it’s all so sweet and well earned. that’s some good development through this book too, from ‘tenzing I cannot trust myself’ to this. excellent stuff

- while I did quite enjoy this book for the character moments it is incredibly weirdly structured? like the beginning drags a bit with the quite uninteresting colony politics and stuff but then they’re finally travelling and then... nothing really happens plot wise before the sea serpents freak the fuck out at the end there lol. I’m mostly a character-oriented reader tho so I’m pretty fine with it.

ETA: actually now that I think about it I’d say that my biggest gripe with this book is that it doesn’t engage at all with the perspective of the native australian people? even though one of the dragons settles down with one group? god knows it’s not like there was no time to dive into it, considering all that time spent in the fucking wilderness lol

we’re going to the inca empire next tho apparently fuck YEAH!!! that’s such an underexplored and extremely interesting part of history, my body is Ready

#temeraire #tongues of serpents #his majesty's dragon #meta #back again after a brief pause! still crying a lot about tharkay! the more things change huh

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martymcdyke · 5 years

Note

Pls tell us the John story

alright, this is going to be long. also, just gonna put in a pretty serious content warning for emotional/psychological abuse as well as racism, sexism, and mentions of sexual assault and harassment because…. this john is a bad one.

so. john was a young man i was in a relationship with for nearly two years. I broke up with him because i was just starting to realize that i was a lesbian and because he was absolutely horrible to me. And when i say horrible, that’s how it relates to that post i reblogged. he called himself a republican for the first few years i knew him (before we ever dated) and then, somewhere in the middle of our relationship, he decided he was more of a libertarian. like gary johnson libertarian. i haven’t seen his car since i left mt but i’m pretty sure he still has a gary johnson bumper sticker on it.

anyway.

Sometime after we started dating, he made it really clear to me that he was pretty anti-feminist and this kind of surprised me, since in the years that i had known him, he progressed from a devout and bigoted Montana christian and i guess i naively assumed he was… uhhhh… better now? but he wasn’t. over the course of our relationship, he would send me anti-feminist, anti-black lives matter, pro-police, pro-capitalist memes nearly every single day. he would send multiple at a time and i never could bring myself to read them because if i saw them, if i read them and heard the words through his voice, i would have to say something. but i knew from the many times i had discussed these topics before that this would go somewhere bad. he had a habit of completely shutting me out when he was upset with me OR he would adopt a condescending tone and dominate the argument until i caved and decided i didn’t want to talk about it anymore. i remember one time, specifically, that he told me he was a “second class citizen” because he sent me a screenshot of a woman on facebook talking about how shitty cishet white men behaved. i told him that he was devaluing the fact that many people who were not cishet white men actually were treated like second class citizens and didn’t have as many rights as he did. he told me i was being dismissive of him and acting like his problems weren’t valid “just because others had it worse.” another time, he sent me a meme that included a tweet by a young woman telling people to always believe rape/sexual assault victims that was followed by a still from to kill a mockingbird. I said, i guess trying to be clever? that yeah, you should believe Tom Robinson because it could be argued that he was sexually harassed or even assaulted. he took that one really badly and texted me in all caps and i told him to not yell at me and he insisted that using all caps was meant for emphasis. not sure what good it does to emphasize an entire sentence, but he was gaslighting me, so that doesn’t really matter. sometime after that i even asked him if he would blame me if i ever got assaulted because i genuinely didn’t know.

the peak of his behavior was one day, right before i went to go see him, he had an encounter with a couple of native kids in which he cursed at them for getting in the way of him while he was riding his bike. he had a huge anger problem that paired really nicely with his blatant racism. so these kids, who i don’t think were any older than 13 while he was, i think, 19, got pretty confrontational because of course you’d get pretty mad at some guy being a huge dick to you when you’re just like. out in the world being a kid. and, in his words, he’s surrounded by these kids (who are quite a bit younger than he is!!!) and he’s all by himself so he pulls out his knife and keeps it tucked in his hand. one of the kids sees it and points it out. he confirms he has a knife. i think at this point that somebody calls the police and the police come and kind of break the whole thing up. later, when he tells me this story, he starts crying and i don’t say anything because he brandished a knife at some children and i have no idea what he’d do to me. but i wish i had said something. i should have said something. i should have told him how wrong he was. when he tells the story to my father, he omits the fact that he cursed at the kids. he knows he did something wrong. he knows how bad it makes him look that he brandished a knife at literal children. this was the event that made me seriously rethink the relationship because it was just a couple months before i finally ended it. when i ended it he pushed me against a wall and kissed me without my consent and then later accused me of being abusive.

John was a horror show who broke my ability to trust myself, but more importantly and more heinously created an environment where i became complicit with his morally empty behavior. i’m so ashamed of how little i called out his actions. for many of them, there isn’t an excuse under the sun for me to not have said or done something. he was a plague upon my life and I am grateful to be rid of him. i hope i never see him again and that he never is able to abuse another intimate partner ever again.

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time-2-vent · 3 years

Text

So. This is a master post about my grandma. Some of this has already been talked about here but I posted this on my private fb and wanted to keep it here too.

Okay.. so. This is gonna be a long and detailed one.

Ive never had a space where I could vent about my grandma to more than just people close to me without being blamed or her finding out. The only family I have on here is my mom and im hiding this post from her for various reasons. I understand if many of you can't read all the way through this because its gonna be a lot. I just want the people around me to have a better grasp on exactly why im so depressed.

Before I start im gonna add a trigger list because there is a LOT and im probably going to be very emotional typing this. A lot of it ive never spoken about publicly.

So for a list of TW:

Emotional, physical, sexual, and animal abuse, r*pe, p*dophelia, racism, su*cide, hospitals, ableism, be******ty mention, fatshaming, weight mention, f slur.

Okay. Im going to start at when I moved in with her. She tricked my mother into signing over custody of me when I was 10. When I was 9 years old I was forced into a mental hospital after being heavily overdosed on medications meant for adults to the point I was "sitting upside down in my chairs unresponsive and talking about tranquilizers" which i have no memory of. The hospital was probably the worst experience in my entire life and I was almost murdered by one of the older kids. After getting out of there I moved in with my grandma.

Throughout my life shes said and done so many horrible things to me. She would always yell and scream about the smallest mistakes. She used to pick me up by my hair. She was just fucking horrible to me.

Around the age of 10-11 when I started going through puberty she would always make fun of the way my genitals looked. She would ask me to stretch my labia out and move it around. Specifically she would ask me to "show me your bat wings". It was fucking disgusting but as a child I thought it was just haha funny joke.

For a while I thought I just imagined that until my mom brought it up to me and how she CAUGHT HER saying that to me multiple times. So I had confirmation that I wasn't just imagining it. I once confronted her about it and she immediately started crying (ive only seen her cry 3 times in my entire life) and told me if I ever said that again she would tell everyone in my family that I was a "prostitute" and would make everyone in my family hate me, and that it was my mother who did that to me.

My mom lived with me and my grandma for a few years but eventually moved out on her own because she couldn't handle my grandmas abuse.

My grandma dated my moms r*pist, which was my moms uncle, and told my mom she never got r*ped, and said my mom only fucked him for "attention and cigarettes". My mom was 12 at the time.

My grandma told me at 15 that the "only reason you think you're trans is because you got diddled as a kid"

My grandma called me a whore when I started becoming sexually active despite her having her first child at 16.

She once told me I was "just like my father" who is a sex offender and abused me as a child. I was also forced to give my at-the-time step brothers head when I was 3-5 and was taught that it was okay.

My grandma has called me every possible name in the book. Anytime she does something wrong its automatically my fault. She told me she would believe that im trans when I showed her my dick (at 16).

Shes incredibly rude and racist, says she hates how she can't understand Asian people. She's said the n word. She's made so many "jokes" about how "aggressive" Black people are. When my cousin found out he had Black in him she said, and I quote, "I always knew he had a n***r ass" which fucking disgusted me. Shes scoffed at my mother for limping. She scoffs at anyone disabled. Always says "you wouldn't catch me looking like that in public." She would tell my mom she was faking her pain. And coincidentally of all 4 of her kids, one was born with physical deformities. she says thats not the reason why, but she gave her up for adoption. She yells at anyone standing in her way who isn't aware. She is incredibly rude when she speaks to people to the point its embarrassing.

When I hung myself earlier this year and a friend came to pick me up she was yelling at me like "Oh so you went and tattled on me didnt you? Did you say oh boo hoo shes so abusiveeee!!" As I had literally just laid passed out in the snow from hanging myself.

When she found out I hung myself she bitched about how I had her snow boots and how she would have had to climb up the hill to find my fucking body as if it were a chore. She asked me if I wanted to be cremated out of nowhere and when I said no she replied "good I didn't want to have to pick your piercings out of your dead body" when I told her she made me want to kill myself she laughed at me and said "well then you'll never survive" my first suicide attempt was at 12 years old. A few weeks ago I started carving at my throat in front of her because im so desperate for her to LISTEN to me for 5 FUCKING SECONDS. I have legitimately cried on my knees and begged her to treat me like a person time and time again. She laughs at me and turns it around to my issues. She guilt trips me and makes me think everything is my fault. She calls me disgusting for having 1 or 2 shirts on the floor. She told me to MY FACE she will never see me as trans. Misgenders me, misgenders my friends. I jokingly told her one of my cis friends was trans, and when she left she asked me "does he really have a penis?" ABOUT A WHOLE ASS CIS WOMAN. She told me she ran over and killed a dog with a broken leg to "put it out of its misery" she would always use glue traps and I told her not to tell me about it so she waits until were in public and says "yknow whenever I catch a live mouse on one of the traps I throw it into a plastic bag and then go do the litter box to suffocate it". Shes threatened to make me pay the hospital bill when I called 911 because she was unconscious. She says horrible things to me EVERY FUCKIJG DAY. She's always making everying my fault all the time and sits and smiles while I'm sobbing and pouring my heart out because im tired of the abuse. Im so fucking tired. It goes on and on and on every day of my life. I literally slit my throat in front of her and she only stopped being mean for about a week. Im so depressed and mentally ill and this is beating on me every moment of my fucking life.

In not done but im shaking and need to stop typing for now

Edit: some other notable things, when my grandpa disowned me and stopped speaking to me for over a year she told me it was probably because of how disgusting I was. And "nobody wants to be around that".

She will ask me specific random questions about specific friends and if I dont know the answer or I forgot, she goes on a tangent about how terrible of a friend I am.

When I was cutting her hair she kept telling me I was doing it wrong, so I did it her way and she hated it and told me she's glad I didn't pursue hair because im terrible at it.

When my cat was dying she originally refused to take him to the vet because he was "just gonna die anyways so I might as well let him", then gave up her cat to the vet because she was peeing but didn't wanna take responsibility for that so she lied to them and said she showed up at her door and didn't tell them her age or even her name and that was so fucking cruel.

When she starts laughing at me sometimes she'll talk to me in a whiny "baby voice" and be like awwww, waaa im so abusedddd *mocks me crying*.

And she always talks in a tone that sounds pissed off and seems confused when I feel like I'm being scolded.

She gets in my face and puts her finger in my face and backs me into corners sometimes and then when I smack her hand out of my face she says she'll put me in jail for abuse.

Oh yea and simetimes when she gets mad at me she'll be like "ok GIRL" in the middle of me talking. Like its annoying and uncalled for.

I cant believe I forgot this holy shit. Years ago (was a minor here as well) I was attacked by my neighbors dog and it knocked me down and when I got home my grandma was accusing me of be******ty and said she was "watching it fuck me" and I was so fucking disgusted and hurt.. I try to block that from my memory because it was my third dog attack and I was traumatized.

She also regularly calls her brother a F@ggot. He is the only lgbt family member (he's gay) that i have.

She regularly fatshames people while only a few feet from them. And will whisper to me about how disgusting they look.

She asks for all of my friends deadnames and gets mad when I dont answer.

"I can't be abusive because I give you a home. I could have let social services take you."

"I cant be racist because my ex husband is Black"

"You must be living in a fantasy world where you make up shit that ive done."

"Id be depressed if I stayed in bed all day too."

"I need to learn to have lower expectations for you."

"I'm starting to resent you. So ill be taking 200$ a month for rent." (She has stopped this thankfully)(edit #2, she started taking it again im gonna be here forever lmao)

When I was underweight she would say things like "you look like an aids patient." And "Are you trying to look like your mother?"

"You're a hoarder"

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horror-sc0pe · 7 years

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People are the way they are for a reason. I'm paranoid, anxious, insecure, and lonely. There hasnt been a lot of times that anyone made me feel secure and safe with myself or them.

It wasnt fun spending 2nd - 6th grade hearing how big my teeth were and how weird I was for liking anime, and that wouldn't have been too bad if it didn't adapt into something worse.

It wasnt fun spending 7th - 12th grade upgrading the teasing to harassment. " You look like a horse" "You're fake and your boyfriend is using you" "Whats wrong with your face" "You look like a holocaust victim"

Its not fun when your first boyfriend is cheating on you, multiple times with multiple people, but you're hearing it from his brothers friends who are being dicks just to fuck things up, or hearing it on formspring where everyone else was already spewing negative things. Its not fun when someone finally steps up and sends you screenshots of proof and you just wasted a year thinking it was his brothers friends, when you find out after things are true. And it wasnt fun having his mom call me and my mom sluts or rude bc we treated him better than she did and she was jealous. It wasnt fun when she only allowed him to see me outside of school, once or twice a month and in that time all he did was try to touch me and force things on me after I said no and wasnt ready.

Its not fun when the week you and your second boyfriend get together, hes kicked out of his house to go live in maryland and in that month 1/2 time, you only see him for a week before he changes his tumblr name to the name of another girl and breaks up with you after.

Its not fun when your 3rd boyfriend doesnt let you break up with them because you were ambushed by him right after you got rejected and made you feel wanted when you previously didnt, then realize the mistake and try to be truthful, but he wont let you. Then starts taking his anger out on you by saying everything you like is dumb and treats you like a dog. Literally. And when he finally lets the break up happen, stalks you for the next year, contacting your friends, or have strangers message you, shows up in public places, and letters begging for you back, and that theres nothing left to live for. It definitely didnt make you feel guilty and anxious because you did make a mistake, but you also tried to end it in the beginning.

Its not fun when your 4th boyfriend actually gets contacted the second your relationship status goes up with a threat from the 3rd boyfriend saying that he's gonna get you back. Its not fun when your 4th boyfriend tells you he has cancer, he's adopted, and he's been sexually abused. Will text you in the middle of the night saying he took a bunch of pills because he was trying to kill himself. Sexually abuse you. Tell his friends that you tell him to starve himself (when it never happened), attacked you online, and lets his friends do the same. Its not fun when he says hes going to the hospital for surgery the exact day you asked him to hang out and a half assed aplogy months later.

Its not fun when your 5th boyfriend is actually the best you've had, but his (ex) best friend spends a year giving him ultimatums, writing on twitter that you're in love with someone else, you killed his cat, you're only with him for money, calling your store asking for you, you can overdose on all the pills you're taking for your "fake" anxiety, you're a cunt and she knows where you live. Its not fun when you feel like you're the reason he's having a hard time bc he's put in the situation too and neither of you can do anything about it. When all you did was exist and its hard to enjoy a relationship when its being ripped apart (even though lies) online, constantly.

Its not fun losing all your friends in a couple of months. Getting your face put on a horses. Told that you're gonna be recorded running with retarded horse music in the background. Having someone you care about attempt suicide. Being 'neighed' at in the mall or at school. Even saying you have anxiety and others telling you "yeah well I deal with this, this and this and have anxiety but I can do it, you're being immature" doesn't make anything feel good. Ive already written so much and its amazing how much more is left that I didnt say. Yikes.

I repeat this so many times. I keep saying it over and over. Ive told a lot of people. But it's never satisfying. I never feel heard enough. That's just another me problem. Im on medications now, I have friends now, I'm older now, and yet I have such a hard time moving forward. When I take a step in the right direction, I have a panic attack and feel even worse about myself. I tried going to school for cosmetology, 2 months in and I found myself in the bathroom crying, holding my knees and texting my mom to get me out of there. Same with a job. And every time I break down, I just stay there bc whenever I take a step, its gonna go backwards again. I'm not an adult. I'm barely a person. Why do I constantly feel like my experiences need to be heard. No one gives a fuck they all have their own problems. Its not anything new, this already happened, people have it worse and raise so much higher than I can. Even hanging out with friends my nervous system feels overwhelmed after a couple of hours. OH WAIT I KNOW IVE SAID THAT IN OTHER POSTS TOO. Well aren't I just a special snowflake. Best part is I don't even know how to build a wall around myself to keep my emotions protected till someone breaks it down. I really dont know how to do it. Life's a mess. Idk how people get places successfully.

#rant

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erunerwynter · 7 years

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About my ocs bc translating my fics apparently has this effect to me

Warning: stupid shit

Kevin - half orc wizard - tried so hard and got so far - grew in a human settlement so that’s why he has a human name - his mother didn’t hate him, which is a good thing - wants to make his mama proud by becoming the best wizard that ever existed - also bc people in his village first and the other students at the Arcanum (the magic academy of the world where all of this is setted in, Gaia) later treated him like shit bc an half-orc wizard? u gotta be kiddin - that why he a Angry SJW™ - gay af but who has time for relationship i goTTA STUDY - he tol - spiky fangs but i love him regardless - my actual son - v paranoid about his spellbook bc at the academy of magic stupid students burned his first spellbook so there’s that - my precious boi pls love him - has an halfling boyfriend, Andrej - a cat person - has a raven familiar bc Aesthetic™ - loves the smell of ink - would have supported Anders in his decision to blow up the Chantry

(putting the rest of them under a read more bc it’s gonna be long)

Andrej - halfling fighter - has a giant wolf named Zero, that often uses as a mount - he smol, he mysteryous - born in a tribe of nomad halflings, where he learned to fight - but then he fucked up big time and was kicked out - worked as a mercenary for a while - one day he found Zero, that was still a pupper, and adopted him - Zero is basically his best and only friend - “doggos are better then people” - has a sister that studies at the Arcanum, she’s a really good wizard - one day he visits her and meets Kevin, his future boyfriend - fights with a rapier bc Aesthetic™ - has a tattoo somewhere - “i will punch you in the dick Kevin” - embodiment of “id sell you to Satan for one corn chip” - he may look like a tough guy but he just needs to be loved - loves being the little spoon - he also gay af

Hòdur - drow alchemist - adopted by a human witch, raised in, like. the islands with the most xenophobic elves of the entire world and still managed to survive - has a stepbrother, an half-elf named Taro, and i will talk abt him later - talk shit abt Taro and he will poison u - “i dont trust all that stupid magic shit” “excuse me r u aware that ur mother is a literal witch” - rlly he just doesn’t have talent for magic so he just. decided that magic is stupid and turned to alchemy - he a Man Of Science™ - “the risk i took was calculated but man am i bad at math” - Heterosexual Token™ - worries too much - is willing to Fuck Shit Up - hates loud noises - “why cant you all just leave me aLONE”

Taro - half-elf bard - apparently living embodiment of elves’ perfection - actually a little shit - talk shit abt Hòdur and he will kick u in the teeth - has nicknames for everyone - loves 2 embarass his big bro (bc Hòdur is the big bro) - 5 centimeters (more or less 2 inches for u englishpersons) taller than Hòdur, always reminds that to him - (this annoys Hòdur to no end) - (and that’s why Taro does it) - “so Kevin how do you and Lem do that” “FOR THE LOVE OF THE GODS TARO SHUT THE FUCK UP” (that was Hòdur) - sexuality what is that - had a thing with the blacksmith’s son - the bastard has a really smooth voice - would wear the t-shirt that has “Sin” written on it (you know the one) - i love him holy shit

Robin - tiefling maga (the class name is actually magus but Robin is a she so) with the skirnir archetype (the base class equivalent of the prestige class of the Eldricht Knight, but with the archetype that makes her a shield mage basically) - Angst™ - wants to do the right thing and she will do it - her favourite Overwatch character would be Pharah or Reinhardt - she has a shield and she’s not afraid to use it - always stressed af does she even sleep - always hears the voices of her devilish inheritance - praying conforts her a little tho - a very religious person - well she was raised by a priestess of the god of love and compassion, so - yea she was abandoned as a child bc her parents were nobles and you can’t have a tiefling daughter that would be A Bad Thing - so a priestess adopted her and teched her how to be a rlly good person and to protect the innocent - “I BELIEVE IN U o wait did u just killed an innocent now im gonna Fuck You Up™” - “a sex drive what is that where is sex driving does it have a license”

Ume

- sea elf shaman (hybrid class between the witch and the oracle) - like,, indecision but as a person - has an hawk as a familiar wihich is pretty strange bc she is really tied with the spirits of the sea - looks like a cinnamom roll is actually a cinnamom roll - “do you prefer red or blue” “I LOVE BOTH OF THEM U CAN’T MAKE ME CHOOSE” - the kind of fangirl who has way too many ships - likes swimming - except for that one time when she almost drowned she didn’t like swimming in that moment - Moana vibes - yeah u know moana was so good and im so weak that’s why she lives in an island and talks to the sea sometimes - there was that one time when she flirted back at Ikaro and he almost died for the surprise - she was, like, the Best Shaman Apprentice on the island but she wasn’t really sure wheter become shaman or not bc if she accepted her role she wouldn’t be able to see the world - but at the same time she loves her island and her people so - yeah she kinda gets homesick a lot - but she got to see the Arcanum and the big cities and the Moon Mountains and the Ramil Desert so there’s that - her hawk is cute, she screm - witch shaped like a friend

Ikaro

- the Human Token™, a gunslinger - dat boi - son of a gun - jesse mccree but as a pirate - birate - lovechild of Han Solo and Jesse McCree - “im not a pirate im a buccaneer” - the fuckboiest fuckoi that ever fuckboied - tried to flirt with Ume and got a “stop embarassing yourself!” from Taro - “the loser had it coming” –cit. @eldrich-archivist - has seen some shit - stole some of that - and murdered some other - he doesn’t regret killing people, but that doesn’t mean he likes doing so - “i’m not good, i’m not bad, but i sure as hell ain’t ugly” - travelled on a pirate ship for many years - he feels like he is searching for something, in the vast seas of Gaea, but even he doesn’t know what, or who - has a Dark Past™, that’s why he’s on the run - not the captain on the ship he’s on - just one of the many men on board - (his captain is a very badass aasimar lady maybe i’ll give a backstory to her later) - sinnamom roll - flirted with Kevin and Lem almost stabbed him - then flirted with Lem and Kevin almost killed him with a lightning - also likes flirting with death - kinky af, probably into bondage - lowkey a furry

And finally, my favourite

Allegra

- dwarf sorceress/bard but a dancer - she’s mute, so she casts spell while dancing - travelled with a travelling circus - ran away from her home in the Underworld bc she’s transgender and feared that her father wouldn’t understand - her powers come from the storm (stormborn bloodline) - Taro’s nickname for her is “Lady Thunderdwarf” - Taro is also a very good friend of her, he sings for her and she dances - sometimes when she dances she summons the rain unconsciusly - her name means “happy” or “cheerful” in Italian - cinnamom roll, too good for this world, too pure - hates little and close spaces - has a birthmark that is suspiciously similar to the holy symbol of the god of the wind but?? maybe it’s a coincidence??? maybe not??? who knows - at first she can only talk with Kevin bc he’s the only one in their “party” that knows sign language but then they teach it to everyone - she and Kevin are really great friends bc they both know how it feels to be an outcast - didn’t believe in love at first sight until she met Zero - “ALLEGRA STOP THROWING MAGIC AT MY DOG HE’S BITING THIN AIR YOU’LL MAKE HIM FEEL SAD” - never came out to her dwarven family, and she regrets that a little - but she’s still scared, so she doesn’t write to them - she has two brother (one older and the other younger; the former has died) and a younger sister; her mother died when she was little so she doesn’t remember much - she doesn’t know, but her father cares deeply about her, even if he still thinks of her as a “him” - family is very important to dwarves, and she feels that Ume and Kevin and the other are like a family to her now - before she met Taro, when she was still travelling with the circus, she danced on the music of Kakeru, a young bard from the Eastern continent that is the Kukize that is very good at playing the shamisen and teached her how to read his native language and told her the myths and the legends of his land. she teached him the sign language and how to read dwarven runes - she can forge things bc that’s a thing that every dwarf learns, but she is no master of that art - i love her so much asklabaksdsksfgagsds

#long post #abt my ocs #about gaia

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wdfa · 7 years

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coming back from winter break like HELLO NAUGHTY CHILDREN ITS RELAPSE TIME

warning for... um. lots of stuff. a loooot of self hate/negative self talk. internalized transphobia/cissexism. discussions of sexual experiences (not in detail). menstruation mention. depression and symptoms.

im struggling so hard rn ugh so many Symptoms.. especially with feelings of worthlessness!!!!!!! like i just feel like im annoying ppl with just my existence!!!! UGH like i know it’s irrational bc so many ppl love and care about me and they have voiced these facts as well as affirmed them through actions! and they continue to do so! it kinda has a lot to do with my dysphoria? im not sure how to like. explain it??? because there is Context.

last saturday my frat had a brothers-only party and it was fun and cute and i had Such a Good Time because i love my brothers! some alumni came too like i got to see my grandbig again and my 2 adopted grandbigs LMAO... one is dating my gbig so she’s step-gbig i guess not adopted? but the other one is in my family line, and he has 2 “real” grandlittles but he adopted me and one of my fifth (?) cousins. ANYWAYS it was really tender because that literally happened that night, he said “as far as im concerned, i have 4 grandlittles... plates, kali, billy, and u” and im not kidding i almost cried it touched my salty ass heart. and that was pretty much the theme of the night, just me loving on everyone and everyone loving on me!

i was kind of worried about that tbh because i was wearing one of those douchey ridiculously large arm-hole tshirts and my scars were pretty visible,,,, but like everyone was really cool about them like i got some compliments actually haha mostly they were just like “aw im so happy for u/proud of u” but one of my older bros (who happens to also be a bass!!) said smth like “yo those are really cool thats so hardcore!” which pleasantly surprised me because he’s a very aloof and sarcastic kind of person, so getting something genuine was really neat. and so much good happened that night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was great!!!!!!!!!! but also like. ugh. i guess more context needed.

in my pledge class of 7 only 2 of us were virgins and im one of them. like ive literally never had any Sexual experience, and it was always because i was never comfortable enough with my own body due to dysphoria. even when u get past that my high school was fucking tiny so who was going to love my fat trans ass 8^) and my pbro’s situation was a little different, but he’s gay and his high school was similar so he never had the option to explore anything either. and we were like. together on that u know? i had kind of accepted that it wasnt realistic for me to want things like that, and while that realization hurt, i knew that i had someone in the same boat. but then he goes and loses his virginity!!!!! and this is where i get MESSY LMAO IM NOT READY FOR THIS BUT HERE GOES

first of all i want to say that i am 100% happy for him because he’s my friend i will support him until the end of time and he told us it was important for him finally being able to celebrate himself and grow up and operate with sexual/personal autonomy and live his own DAMN LIFE and im so so SO proud of him for that!! and i HATE myself so FUCKING MUCH for being selfish and feeling this way and taking something so important to someone i love and making it about myself, but. now its like im left behind. i hate this feeling so fucking much i hate being left behind/forgotten about/ignored/excluded from anything and everything. and now this is something that everyone has gone through but me. and it fucking sucks even more because i know the main reason that i havent done this is because im trans!!!! like i didnt ask to be this way!!!!!!!! trust me! its so fucking difficult!!!!!!!! i hate being different sometimes, i literally just want to be like everyone else, i want to be fucking normal for once. like i know that ‘normal’ doesn’t actually exist but im tired of having to struggle through things that other people dont. and ive really just been dwelling on this and extrapolating like “welp no one will ever wanna hook up with me or date me or love me and im gonna die alone like the piece of shit i am” and it’s just opened up soooooo many Bad Feels that i either havent thought about before or did a really good job at repressing! literally just shitty Dysphoria garbage!!!

and now its like. “ok well u dont want to be a virgin anymore then go out and have sex” WELP it doesnt really work that way!!! i’m very masculine in appearance (or at least i try to be) and the people who are attracted to me expect me to be a Cis Male, because unfortunately we assume everyone is cis until proven otherwise. bottom line is theyre gonna expect me to have a dick! but i dont! what happens when im into someone and theyre not aware of this fact? what if we Get Going and start Doing the Do but theyre like EW GROSS DIE??????? i just keep thinking about this!!!!!!!!! its in my head and i cant get it out!!!!!!!!!! like i Did Not go to bed on sunday night because i just keep dwelling!!!! i went to therapy on tuesday and told all this to my psychologist and usually that gets it out of my system but no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she’s usually really helpful because she approaches things logically rather than emotionally but that didnt work in this case i guess!!

i told my pbros about some of these feelings and they said the shit your friends are supposed to say to make u feel better and it was reassuring that they loved me at the time but like. i guess it didnt stick lol because im still convinced that im unlovable even though mccoy sat on my lap half the night and david let me casually touch him (he does not like physicality so that was kind of a Bigger deal) and ben laid on top of us and we were all so tender but i literally cant translate that into permanence i guess!!!!! but also bad things happened at meeting that kind of validated my fears bc me n a few bros were talking, i think it was me and a gay guy and a girl who thought she was straight but shes questioning if shes bi and i cant remember who else because i was Turnt but these two were like the main source of conversation. the guy was like “im definitely gay like i know i dont like girls because vaginas are just gross” and the girl was like “yeah i dont know, im attracted to hot girls but idk if i could ever fuck w/ a girl because ew vagina” LIKE im.... ... standing............ right .... here...................... and i said something! like “thats transphobic not everyone w a vagina is a girl” and i cant remember exactly but they totally like. brushed me off. i initially have all of these doubts, then my bros are like “yooo that’s irrational, everyone loves u” which makes me feel better and kind of makes the doubts get less awful BUT THEN this happens and we’re back to square one SO.

it doesnt help that i fucking started my period on monday. i havent had it in over a year. but i had to skip a dose of T before my surgery and my ADHD ass forgets everything so i ended up skipping like 3 so apparently this is what happens when you stop taking it :) im really hoping that this is the reason im so emo about everything right now UGH.

all of these feelings are just taking such a toll on me its like im weighed down,,, i was supposed to do some studying today and take some notes but instead i stayed in bed and played games on my phone lol!!!!!! i didnt even do anything fun!!!!!!!!!! and now im alone on a friday night doing NOTHING just like i did fucking NOTHING all day today!!

what sucks about this is that im alone because i feel sad.... but being alone makes me feel even MORE sad........... like im happy when im with my friends, im happy when im with my brothers, im happy when im at the house! but for some reason i cant just text a bro at random whenever im feeling down. like if i did, i know that no matter who it was theyd give me the support i need/the support id get at the house with everyone there. but i cant make that move, i cant take that risk, because i must Avoid.... like i know talking to ppl and being around them makes me happier, and i know if i did gather the ‘courage’ or w/e to do that then the odds of getting a positive response would be 99% but i just. Cannot initiate. because that 1% chance of rejection is just too much. im terrified of it. even if i did take that chance i dont even know what i’d say??? “hey lol im kinda craving death because im a worthless abomination haha wyd” ????? im still not comfortable w talking about being trans. like i am a bit but only with certain people. definitely not with the brotherhood. maybe my big? but she just got a new girlfriend so i dont want to bother her. honestly i dont want to bother anybody!!!!!!!!!! which is Wrong because i tell ppl all the time that their emotions are valid and theyre not bothering people who care but HERE WE FUCKING ARE KIDS!

ok i think im done now i just. really had to get that out. replies and likes and asks are welcome but the other thing is not allowed. the thing with two arrows that kind of go in a circle. none of that.

#trumpet hate #personal #wow this was..... so much..........#literally no one is gonna read this but it was mostly for me anyways so [shrug emoji]#caps /#negative /#self hate /#transphobia /#cissexism /#menstruation mention //#the experience #ask to tag

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