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9 min read How NASA Chases and Investigates Bright Cosmic Blips Astronomers think a long GRB (gamma-ray burst) arises from a massive, rapidly rotating star when its core runs out of fuel and collapses, forming a black hole in the star’s center. In this artist’s concept, two jets emerge from the dying star and interact with surrounding gas and dust. NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center Conceptual Image Lab Stephen Lesage’s phone started vibrating just after halftime on Oct. 9, 2022, while he was watching a soccer game in Atlanta with a friend. When Lesage saw the incoming messages, the match no longer seemed important. There had been a rare cosmic event, and he needed to get to his computer immediately. NASA’s Fermi Gamma-Ray Satellite and Neil Gehrels Swift Observatory had spotted an unusually bright signal in space, and sent automatic alerts to scientists. Lesage’s team’s Fermi chat channel lit up with messages as scientists coordinated their follow-up strategy. “Everyone in that group was like, ‘this thing’s crazy! Who’s on duty to analyze this? This is what we’ve been waiting for,’” Lesage, a graduate student at the University of Alabama, Huntsville, recalled. “Time to go!” The unusual event turned to be a cosmic burst that may have been the brightest at X-ray and gamma-ray energies since civilization began. Astronomers dubbed it the BOAT, “the brightest of all time.” Lesage led an analysis of Fermi data that demonstrated just how bright the BOAT really was. More than 150 telescopes in space and on Earth followed up to get more details of the event including NASA’s IXPE (Imaging X-ray Polarimetry Explorer ), Hubble Space Telescope, and James Webb Space Telescope, as well as the European Space Agency’s XMM-Newton telescope. The Universe is Changing The BOAT is an example of what astronomers call Time-Domain and Multi-Messenger Astronomy. The “Time Domain” part refers to events that happen in the universe that telescopes can observe as they unfold, such as a supernova or the merger of two neutron stars. “Multimessenger Astronomy” refers to the variety of “messengers” that deliver information from the universe, including all forms of light, high-energy particles, and ripples in spacetime called gravitational waves. While the universe may seem like it changes extremely slowly, over millions or even billions of years, its celestial occupants do sometimes produce dramatic changes on the order of days or even fractions of seconds. Galactic centers brighten as their central black holes eat material. Black holes siphon plasma from nearby stars. Stars explode. Neutron stars collide with black holes, neutron stars collide with neutron stars, and black holes merge with black holes. Even distant crashes of celestial objects can send powerful ripples that can be detected by space– and ground-based telescopes and instruments. Many of these phenomena are unpredictable in terms of both where and when they might happen next. NASA has two “watchdog” satellites with wide fields of view that send out alerts when they detect a sudden brightening of gamma rays: Fermi and Swift. Fermi’s Gamma-Ray Burst Monitor and Large Area Telescope, and Swift’s Burst Alert Telescope, are key instruments that might be the first to observe these events. “When something impulsive happens, when something goes boom and explodes or something goes crunch and collapses, they trigger,” said Valerie Connaughton, who leads the high-energy astrophysics portfolio and the Time-Domain and Multimessenger Astronomy Initiative within the Astrophysics Division at NASA’s Headquarters in Washington. Once scientists receive an alert on their computers and phones, they may be able to collaborate with other telescopes to follow up on the event. By using a variety of different space-based observatories and instruments to study these largely unpredictable flashes, scientists can piece together what, where, when, and why they observed a “blip” in the usual calm of space. After comparing observations of the BOAT from numerous telescopes, scientists determined that this unusually bright burst came from a supernova and specifically, the core collapse of a massive star rotating rapidly. Later, with data from NASA’s NuSTAR mission, scientists found that the jet of material shooting out from the exploding star had a more complicated shape than they originally thought. “A giant star just exploded, and we get to study it and figure out what happened, and reverse engineer the pieces and put it back together,” Lesage said. Time-domain astronomy lets us gets fundamental answers on the properties of the universe, of fundamental physics itself, and the origin of the elements.” ERIC BURNS Astrophysicist, Louisiana State University New Bright Signals Just five months after the BOAT, scientists received an alert from Fermi about the second-brightest gamma-ray burst seen in the last 50 years. This newer signal, GRB 230307A, which happened in March 2023, joined the BOAT in the category of “long” gamma ray bursts, lasting 200 seconds, compared to 600 for the BOAT. Thanks to infrared data from NASA’s James Webb Space Telescope, scientists determined that GRB 230307A may have had a very different origin: the merger of two neutron stars about a billion light-years away from Earth. What’s more, Webb detected the rare element tellurium, suggesting that neutron star mergers create heavy elements like this. This result still puzzles astronomers such as Eric Burns, a co-author of the GRB 230307A paper and member of the Fermi team at Louisiana State University. Merging neutron stars shouldn’t produce such long gamma-ray bursts, and current models of atomic physics do not entirely explain the mid-infrared wavelengths that Webb detected. He hopes Webb will help us learn more about these kinds of events in the next few years. “Time-domain astronomy lets us gets fundamental answers on the properties of the universe, of fundamental physics itself, and the origin of the elements,” Burns said. This image from NASA’s James Webb Space Telescope NIRCam (Near-Infrared Camera) instrument highlights Gamma-Ray Burst (GRB) 230307A and its associated kilonova, as well as its former home galaxy, among their local environment of other galaxies and foreground stars. The GRB likely was powered by the merger of two neutron stars. The neutron stars were kicked out of their home galaxy and traveled the distance of about 120,000 light-years, approximately the diameter of the Milky Way galaxy, before finally merging several hundred million years later. NASA, ESA, CSA, STScI, A. Levan (Radboud University and University of Warwick) A Multitude of Messengers Cosmic “messengers” associated with fleeting cosmic blips also help scientists reconstruct their origins. The initial 2015 discovery of gravitational waves by LIGO, the Laser Interferometer Gravitational-Wave Observatory, showed that the universe could be observed in a brand new way, and began a new era of possibility for using multiple messengers to study sudden blips in the universe. In 2017, scientists demonstrated that potential by combining gravitational wave observations with data from many different ground and space-based observatories to study a kilonova, or neutron star merger, called GW170817. Among the insights from the extensive study of this kilonova, Burns and colleagues used it to make the first precise measurement of the speed of gravity, “the last major confirmation of a prediction from Einstein,” he said. Today, the network of the U.S. NSF (National Science Foundation)-supported LIGO, Europe’s VIRGO, and Japan’s KAGRA looks out for gravitational wave events. This animation captures phenomena observed over the course of nine days following the neutron star merger known as GW170817, detected on Aug. 17, 2017. They include gravitational waves (pale arcs), a near-light-speed jet that produced gamma rays (magenta), expanding debris from a kilonova that produced ultraviolet (violet), optical and infrared (blue-white to red) emission, and, once the jet directed toward us expanded into our view from Earth, X-rays (blue). NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center/Conceptual Image Lab Light is the only kind of “messenger” from the universe that has been detected for both the BOAT and the gamma ray burst that seems to have produced tellurium. An experiment near the South Pole called IceCube, supported by the NSF, looked for high-energy neutrinos coming from the same area of the sky as each event, but did not find any. However, the lack of neutrinos observed helps scientists constrain the possibilities for how these events unfolded. “This multi-messenger approach is important, even when you don’t have a detection,” said Michela Negro, astrophysicist and assistant professor at Louisiana State University. “It really helps rule out some scenarios, on top of telling us something new when we have detections.” A Bright Future for TDAMM For Lesage, who is writing his dissertation about the BOAT, time-domain and multimessenger astronomy is an exciting area of study. The BOAT itself is still keeping him and other astronomers busy as they look at all of the processes revealed by the exceptionally bright light from this extreme event. But more transient events are sure to come, and will keep scientists on their toes as they chase after them with a wide variety of telescopes and instruments. “That’s just transient events — look now or you’re going to miss it,” Lesage said. “Look as quickly as you possibly can.” Doomed neutron stars whirl toward their demise in this illustration. Gravitational waves bleed away orbital energy, causing the stars to move closer together and merge. As they collide, some of the debris blasts away in particle jets moving at nearly the speed of light, producing a brief burst of gamma rays. NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center/Conceptual Image Lab Further Reading: Telescopes on the Case In the next few years NASA will be launching new “watcher” satellites to help look out for sudden transient events like these. They include several CubeSats, which are a class of miniaturized spacecraft built in standardized units of cubes around 4 inches (10 cm) on a side: BurstCube, launching in March 2024, to monitor gamma-ray signals BlackCat, launching in 2025, to detect X-ray light Starburst, launching in 2027, to monitor gamma-ray signals International partnerships also involve this kind of science: ULTRASAT (Ultraviolet Transient Astronomy Satellite), a small satellite from the Israeli Space Agency and the the Weizmann Institute of Science, with a wide field of view specializing in ultraviolet light, has NASA contributions. Expected to launch in 2026. ESA’s LISA (Laser Interferometer Space Antenna) mission, which would be the first time that gravitational waves could be detected from space, has NASA contributions. Expected to launch in the 2030s. Additionally, NASA telescopes with other primary goals can help look out for these unusual events: Psyche, on its way to the metal-rich asteroid Psyche, has a gamma-ray spectrometer that astronomers can use to detect gamma-ray bursts as the spacecraft cruises toward its destination over the next several years. WISE, which mapped the sky at infrared wavelengths, found many new distant objects and cosmic phenomena. The NEOWISE mission, which reuses the WISE telescope, surveys near-Earth space for potentially hazardous asteroids. NASA’s Nancy Grace Roman Space Telescope, an infrared observatory that will illuminate longstanding mysteries of dark energy and discover thousands of exoplanets, is designed to have a wide view of the sky and will undoubtedly pick up on transient infrared signals. The observatory will do several surveys to look for these phenomena, and the mission will support many teams to study relevant topics ranging from variable stars, the birth of black holes and active galaxies. Roman is scheduled to launch by May 2027, and will also provide alerts about the changes in the sky it discovers. The NEO Surveyor mission will use infrared detectors to broaden the search for asteroids and comets that may pose a hazard to the Earth. The images to be taken by NEO Surveyor also are expected to capture many more distant background objects. Share Details Last Updated Jan 24, 2024 Related Terms Astrophysics Division Fermi Gamma-Ray Space Telescope Gamma-Ray Bursts Gravitational Waves James Webb Space Telescope (JWST) Laser Interferometer Gravitational Wave Observatory (LIGO) Neil Gehrels Swift Observatory Explore More 2 min read Hubble Glimpses a Bright Galaxy Group Article 1 day ago 3 min read New U.S. Postal Service Stamps Feature Iconic NASA Webb Images Article 2 days ago 2 min read Hubble Observes an Askew Galaxy Coaxing Star Formation from its Partner Article 2 days ago Keep Exploring Discover More Topics From NASA Missions Humans in Space Climate Change Solar System

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newstfionline · 1 year

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Thursday, February 16, 2023

Downtown (Bloomberg) Manhattan is facing a reckoning that will be followed closely by other megalopolises like London and Tokyo when it comes to the fate of downtowns. Manhattan workers are spending an estimated $12.4 billion less per year given 30 percent fewer days spent in the office, according to data from the WFH Research Group at Stanford. The average worker is spending $4,661 less annually on meals, booze and shopping in New York, more than the $3,040 in S.F. and $2,387 in Chicago, and that $12.4 billion hole will leave some kind of mark on the city.

Brokers and mental health data (Gizmodo) A new study out of Duke University contacted 37 data brokers inquiring about purchasing mental health data about Americans. Of those initially contacted, 26 wrote back, and at the end of the day 11 of the brokers were willing to sell that kind of data. One company offered 10,000 people’s mental health care records for $0.20, with more savings as the buy gets larger. There are minimal restrictions on how the data is used. Brokers offered further information on people’s insurance plans, DNA testing history, the ability to pay for healthcare, and usage of various antidepressants.

Inflation (Slightly) Cools (1440) The consumer price index in January fell for the seventh consecutive month to 6.4% year-over-year growth, down from the 6.5% rise in December but greater than the 6.2% increase economists predicted. The data, released by the Labor Department yesterday, indicate it may take longer than anticipated for inflation to decrease. Analysts expect the Fed to continue to deliver quarter-point interest rate hikes at its next two meetings in March and May with a 4.75%-5.00% year-end projection.

Secretive Network Rescues Russia’s Antiwar Dissidents in Nick of Time (NYT) The three young women, participants in an antiwar chat group, were falsely accused last fall by one of its members of plotting with him to firebomb a military enlistment office. The trio quickly went underground, hiding in a friend’s house in their home city of Vladivostok, in Russia’s Far East, while seeking a way to escape the country and potentially lengthy prison sentences. That brought them to a group called In Transit, part of an extensive underground railroad that is rescuing hundreds of Russians who have been targeted for expressing opposition to the invasion of Ukraine or even sympathy for Ukrainian refugees. Their flight to freedom would ultimately end in Kazakhstan, after a six-day odyssey in six different cars over more than 4,000 miles—the equivalent of driving from New York City to Alaska. They were not told the route they would take, the names of the drivers or the rendezvous points until they reached each new city. In Transit, the group that arranged their escape, is one of at least five organizations that help dissenters to get out of Russia, usually just one step ahead of the law. Working from outside the country, they plan escape routes that can include cars, travel money, safe houses, border crossings and visas.

War in Ukraine at 1 year: Pain, resilience in global economy (AP) An Egyptian widow is struggling to afford meat and eggs for her five children. An exasperated German laundry owner watches as his energy bill jumps fivefold. Nigerian bakeries have shut their doors, unable to afford the exorbitant price of flour. One year after Russia invaded Ukraine on Feb. 24, 2022, and caused widespread suffering, the global economy is still enduring the consequences—crunched supplies of grain, fertilizer and energy along with more inflation and economic uncertainty in a world that was already contending with too much of both. As dismal as the war’s impact has been, there’s one consolation: It could have been worse. Companies and countries in the developed world have proved surprisingly resilient, so far avoiding the worst-case scenario of painful recession. Some good fortune has helped, too: A warmer-than-usual winter has helped lower natural gas prices and limit the damage from an energy crisis after Russia largely cut off gas to Europe. The war “is a human catastrophe,” said Adam Posen, president of the Peterson Institute for International Economics. “But its impact on the world economy is a passing shock.”

Russia Denies Moldovan Coup Claims (Foreign Policy) Russia has denied the Moldovan leadership’s allegations that the Kremlin sought to overthrow the country’s government. Moldovan President Maia Sandu said that Russia was planning to attack government buildings, take hostages, and put the nation “at the disposal of Russia” to keep it from joining the European Union. Moldova gained EU membership candidate status last June on the same day that Ukraine did. Russian Foreign Ministry Spokesperson Maria Zakharova said Sandu’s claims were “absolutely unfounded and unsubstantiated. They are built in the spirit of classical techniques that are often used by the United States, other Western countries and Ukraine,” she said. “First, accusations are made with reference to purportedly classified intelligence information that cannot be verified, and then they are used to justify their own illegal actions.” Moldovan authorities, she said, were using “the myth about a Russian threat to distract Moldovan citizens’ attention from internal problems.

Rising toll makes quake deadliest in Turkey’s modern history (AP) Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan announced Tuesday that more than 35,000 people have died in Turkey as a result of last week’s earthquake, making it the deadliest such disaster since the country’s founding 100 years ago. While the death toll is almost certain to rise even further, many of the tens of thousands of survivors left homeless were still struggling to meet basic needs, like finding shelter from the bitter cold. Erdogan said 105,505 were injured as a result of the Feb. 6 quake centered around Kahramanmaras and its aftershocks. Almost 3,700 deaths have been confirmed in neighboring Syria, taking the combined toll in both countries to over 39,000.

The city that didn’t collapse (NBC News) Death and destruction surround Erzin. But this tiny city in Turkey’s southern Hatay province is an oasis of safety and normality while life throughout the region has been overturned by last week’s earthquake. Residents and officials say Erzin suffered no deaths and saw no buildings collapse in the powerful temblor, and they credit a long-standing determination not to allow construction that violated the country’s codes. Emre Tibikoglu, 39, who has been working for the municipality for six years, said he believed 20,000 people had flocked to Erzin since the earthquake, about a 50% increase in the town’s population. “We know we are in an earthquake area,” he said, citing the insistence of the current mayor and previous ones not to allow buildings that failed to meet construction codes to be put up. Tibikoglu said that whenever officials realized there were buildings that had been illegally built, they would get them taken down. Tibikoglu said he was not sure why other municipalities did not do the same, but suspected there could have been connections between local politicians and contractors.

Syria to open 2 new crossings to let quake aid in (Worldcrunch) Syria’s president agreed to open two new crossing points from Turkey to the country’s rebel-held northwest to deliver desperately needed aid and equipment to help millions of earthquake victims for an initial period of three months. Currently, the U.N. has only been allowed to deliver aid to the northwest Idlib area through a single crossing at Bab Al-Hawa, at Syrian ally Russia’s insistence. The announcement followed a meeting in Damascus earlier Monday between Assad and U.N. humanitarian chief Martin Griffiths.

Top Iran chess player exiled for refusing headscarf (BBC) When one of the world’s most promising chess players, 25-year-old Sara Khadem, decided to play at an international tournament without her headscarf, in solidarity with the protest movement in Iran, she thought a warning would be the worst that would happen to her. Instead, she can’t return to Iran—there are arrest papers waiting for her, and she now lives in exile in southern Spain, with her husband and one-year-old son. Women in Iran are required to wear headscarves in public, even when abroad. But a few are choosing not to, in support of the women and girls spearheading the protests inside the country, following the death in custody of 22-year-old Mahsa Amini in September. Sara Khadem said there was a slow evolution of her decision to play in the tournament in Kazakhstan in December last year without her headscarf. The contestants only wore them in front of the cameras, and she felt that was hypocritical. Given the sacrifices being made by the women and girls on the streets of Iran, some of them risking their lives, it was the least she could do, she said.

Israel to recognize unauthorized settlements (Foreign Policy) Israel’s security cabinet has announced it will recognize nine West Bank settlements that had been built without authorization. “In response to the murderous terrorist attacks in Jerusalem, the security cabinet decided unanimously to authorize nine communities,” the office of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said in a statement. Netanyahu said Sunday that he wants to “strengthen settlements,” which are regarded as illegal under international law.

Jerusalem Christians say they feel growing harassment (Reuters) For several weeks, members of the small Christian community in Jerusalem’s Old City say they have felt under pressure from what they say is growing harassment and intimidation from violent Jewish ultranationalists. Earlier this month, a man later identified by church authorities as a Jewish radical was wrestled to the ground and detained after he allegedly vandalised a statue of Jesus in the Church of the Flagellation. That incident followed a series of others, including one in which graffiti reading “Death to Armenians” and “Death to Christians” were scrawled in Hebrew on the walls of the Armenian Convent of Saint James, early in January. “In the past two months, I would say, since the beginning of the new government, attacks like this are becoming very, very usual,” said Miran Krikorian, a restaurant owner in the Old City. “And the problem is that we are feeling that there’s nothing we can do about it.”

High-paying jobs that don't need a college degree? Thousands of them sit empty. (NPR) Like most other American high school students, Garret Morgan had it drummed into him constantly: Go to college. Get a bachelor’s degree. “All through my life it was, ‘If you don’t go to college you’re going to end up on the streets,’” Morgan said back in 2018. “Everybody’s so gung-ho about going to college.” So he tried it for a while. Then he quit and started training as an ironworker. At 20, he was earning $28.36 an hour, plus benefits. Five years later, he says, “I’m loving it every day. It was absolutely the right choice.” As for his friends from high school? "Someday maybe they'll make as much as me." High school graduates have been so effectively encouraged to get a bachelor’s that high-paid jobs requiring shorter and less expensive training are going unfilled. The Washington State Auditor found in 2017 that good jobs in the skilled trades were going begging because students are being almost universally steered to bachelor’s degrees.

#headlines #news

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tankercent42 · 2 years

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Who Else Wants To be successful With Discord

The first was a social media marketing campaign designed to favor Trump and to disparage rival candidate Hillary Clinton, and extra broadly to sow discord among American voters, and the second involved "laptop-intrusion operations," including hacking, against members of the Clinton campaign. Ratcliffe's assertion that the emails, which purported to be from the far-right group the Proud Boys, were making an attempt to damage Trump drew a rebuke from a number of Democrats, including House Speaker Nancy Pelosi of California, who was briefed on the matter on Thursday. I might see who was talking. Splitgate, the actually fun FPS with portals is presently in an Open Beta on Steam (with full cross-platform play with consoles) and it continues to see high participant numbers. If you’re posting delicate data that you don’t need people to see without warning, you'll be able to apply a spoiler tag with Markdown. The event, attended by FBI brokers and criminals alike, values privacy a lot that it doesn't even want your money except it is money. At occasions, a household meeting is not going to accomplish much by way of conflict resolution. The value fluctuations of Jungle Freaks in the coming weeks and months will test how a high-profile, revenue-seeking NFT neighborhood responds to accusations of racism.

Just weeks after forcing the Groovy Discord music bot offline, Google-owned YouTube is now turning its consideration to Rythm, the preferred music bot on Discord. Nevertheless it was Bitcoin that Musk focused his attention on. Simultaneous wireless and Bluetooth and chat-mix stability are normally only present in more expensive fashions, so right here the performance and sound high quality are price the money. Naturally, such GAMING NEWS would not try to draw customers with a paltry offering; instead, 1000's of dollars' value of cryptocurrency is being awarded. The 7X is difficult (if not unattainable) to search out for the time being due to a short lived provide crunch, however it is price searching for. On your date, you may try to synchronize or display screen-share, so you're taking a look at the same artwork at the same time. If you wish to bulk up the experience a bit, you can find a recipe for a meal or only a cocktail and prepare it at the identical time when you chat. In a chaotic world, taking the time to put in writing a message to someone is a lovely and private gesture.

JBL JBL says its third-gen Boombox speaker supplies "deeper bass, intense readability and extra powerful sound" than its predecessors thanks to a brand new three-means speaker system consisting of a strong racetrack-shaped subwoofer, two mid-range drivers and two tweeters. JBL Compared to its Pulse sequence predecessors, JBL says the Pulse 5 is "engineered with a larger passive radiator and acoustic volume for deeper bass, in addition to a woofer centered on delivering mid-low frequency sound and an added tweeter for authentic and purer sound." Moreover, JBL has made the speaker's integrated mild present brighter. You'll be able to pair it with one other Pulse 5 for stereo sound. Like most social networks, it's also possible to block or mute users who troll or begin to turn into a nuisance. The bid was placed by Assange supporters who formed a bunch called AssangeDAO to bid collectively on the NFT. Adidas launched its first NFT venture, Into The Metaverse, in collaboration with a number of NFT manufacturers, Bored Ape Yacht Membership chief amongst them. The Bored Ape Yacht Membership is slowly expanding out of NFTs and changing into an "offchain" brand -- that's, one which exists exterior of the blockchain.

You want an excellent mic for chatting with friends and squadmates; good highs, lows, separation and encompass so you may hear enemies creep up behind you and get creeped out by zombies; as nicely pretty much as good steadiness and tonality to appreciate the soundtrack you paid extra for. The software's type of lackluster as well. In the event that they don’t, well you possibly can at all times get your money again. You need to use this web page to access the server. The novel design has two mics, a flip-to-mute magnetized detachable growth mic plus a mic constructed into one of the earcups to use with out the increase, and the boom performs very nicely when you get it positioned; the earcup mic also helps with noise suppression for the increase. There may be digital events offered by native restaurants and businesses in your area, as effectively. For the reason that state of affairs to be a client you might need to pay solely regarding proof studying with. Of that group, 42% cited considerations about COVID-19 as the reason they don't seem to be going out.

#Gaming news

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jumpbolt41 · 2 years

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The Main Principles Of Construction

Building and construction organizations are possibly one of the hardest kinds of companies to manage. We chat to lots of tireless professionals every single day as well as see it first-hand.

Number one on our listing of importance is developing your pipe of leads. Building leads is the fuel of your whole organization. Without leads, you do not get any kind of tasks. Lead generation should be your # 1 emphasis in running a successful construction firm. We have a wonderful short article dedicated to construction lead generation where we enter information on the most effective means to obtain top quality construction leads.

However what do you do when you're a smaller service provider and also you don't' have the pay-roll to employ numerous estimators and also produce a group? You outsource your estimating to a business like ours that focuses on estimating. We've crunched some numbers, and also the ordinary service provider is losing out on $20,000 each month in earnings since they are losing out on proposals and also jobs.

It's a tried and tested building and construction business version to outsource the approximating section. Either method, as the service owner, don't do the estimating yourself. It takes you away from the sales as well as management of the organization.

Of all, as the organization owner, you should not be doing any of the estimating. It takes away from you managing your company.

Both are simple to make use of and will substantially improve your rate as well as precision. For the budgeting and also price evaluation, you can make use of Excel to prepare the spread sheet. To acquire costs, you should use a few of your very own historic data that has proven to be successful. You can so integrate that with Artisan National Building And Construction Estimator or RS Suggests to stand up to day prices.

If you're preparing to expand the business, you're going to need an office. Check over here needs to be centrally situated to where you usually work so you and your job administration group can conveniently reach jobsites. It's also valuable to be close-by where your clients remain in situation they desire to drop by your workplace to go over a job or authorize a contract.

As building specialists, we tend to consider the area as one of the most vital part of the work. But more crucial than the area is the individual sending the adjustment orders, of the accountant sending out the invoice. Project Supervisor Accountant/Bookkeeper Workplace Supervisor Estimator Buyer For smaller firms, you can have the exact same individual servicing multiple duties.

If your workers understand you'll solve any tiny misstep they have, they'll keep coming to you. Delegate in this case is "appoint a job to someone on your group or company and have them complete the task without you entailed". The vital part of this is "you not being entailed".

Also I fight with this in some cases. Yet I compel myself to trust my group, count on my advertising and marketing as well as web content team, count on my estimators and reviewing group. I'm a perfectionist and it's tough! Needed. My group has blown me away whenever I have actually taken a jump of faith and also transferred responsibility to them.

Taking care of projections and your future can be tough. This is among one of the most integral parts for any type of business. Determine the goal so you can make a practical plan to meet the objective. If you want to make $100,000 per year as a local business owner, you need to figure out the number of jobs that implies you need to sell.

If you are a professional in dining establishment construction, you should focus your initiatives in locating dining establishment proprietors that require their dining establishments constructed or renovated. If you are an expert in office construction, then you must concentrate on that type of job period this will certainly give you the ability to charge costs prices as well as will give you much more reliability than your competitor when it comes time to work out.

#commercial paving

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deerquiver5 · 2 years

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Guide To Working With Enterprise Consultants

Forcing employees into a promotion doesn't imply its the greatest option for them, they deserve to choose. The reviewer is counting on rumour right here quite than first-hand remark and gives the worker no likelihood to put over their version earlier than being criticized. True, it might be peer remark, however using 360 feedback quite than the workplace gossip mill is far more constructive. Effective targets should be set collaboratively between manager and employee. The 4 drivers of profitability—margin, rate, utilization, and leverage—vary along the follow spectrum. Margins tend to be 50% or extra at rocket science practices, 35% to 50% at gray-hair practices, 20% to 35% at process practices, and often in single digits at commodity practices. A commodity follow helps shoppers with comparatively easy, routine issues by providing economical, expedient, and error-free service. The Big Three Indian outsourcing giants, Wipro, TCS, and Infosys, have gained scale and recognition whereas working at this finish of the spectrum. According to our colleague Jack Gabarro , PSF practices fall on a spectrum of sophistication that ranges from “commodity” to “procedure” to “gray hair” to “rocket science.” Successful practices are clear about their position on this spectrum. Paro handpicks a few candidates for you to display screen and, whenever you discover one you wish to hire, Paro makes the introduction. 7 the reason why your greatest workers are leaving your accounting agency, and how you can survive the Great Resignation tidal wave. From the core elements of efficiency administration to storing information and dealing with administrative duties, or generating reports at the click of a button, Personio can help. It’s necessary to tie rewards on to efficiency, ideally inside the interval of the efficiency administration cycle. Clients of process and commodity practices, on the other hand, expect junior professionals to do most of the work beneath the oversight of senior ones. As you'll discover with a variety of the corporations in this review, billing methods can differ beyond a month-to-month fee, similar to an hourly, pay-for-performance charge, or charges primarily based on the number of monthly transactions. In all instances, it's necessary to crunch the numbers to see what price or type of billing makes sense for your small business. The cost of outsourcing these features should make sense for your small business based on the level of service it wants and your price range. You ought to expect to pay more for accounting providers as a enterprise than you would as a person because there are extra features to carry out. What Is Financial Reporting And Analysis? Learn Its Significance Utilize the complete functionality of your existing Salesforce CRM or just use Accounting Seed as a stand-alone product. 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#會計師事務所

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wonderful-wells-writing · 3 years

Text

Fanclub; Chapter 1

EoWells x Reader

Some of the STAR Labs employees have a secret fanclub where they discuss Harrison Wells and share pictures they take when they think he isn't looking. Problem is it's not quite as secret as they think it is. The man himself seems to have taken an interest in the the little group, finding it to be the perfect place to find willing partners to satisfy his needs. And you're his next pick.

Work is dying down for the evening at STAR Labs. Chemists are checking that all the storage units are set to the proper temperatures. Engineers are making sure that everything that needs to be powered down is. Lab techs are cleaning up their stations. But nearly everybody is discussing their plans for the weekend.

There is one worker who is not engaging in such conversations. You are currently crammed between two sections of machinery, determined to get this wiring finished before leaving for the day. That way, Monday, bright and early your team can start doing test runs.

You are not engaging in conversation with others but rather are talking to yourself as you work. “Some red over here, blue wire over there.” Your grin would light up the room if anybody could see it. “I just love when a color-coded array comes together.” There’s a buzz on your right butt-cheek, and you squeal in surprise.

“Everything alright in there?” One of the other scientists looks up from the desk.

“Yeah, Bri,” you extract yourself from the machine parts. “My phone just went off, and I thought something shocked me.”

“Girl, I can not tell you how often that happens to me,” Bri takes her purse from a drawer and a jacket off the chair. “So, what are your plans for the weekend. More number crunching?”

You pull your phone from your back pocket. “Actually my college roommate is having a bachelorette party tonight. So I said I would swing by the bar for a bit.”

“Sounds fun,” Bri gives a wave before heading to the door. “Don’t party too hard.”

She returns the wave before opening a group chat app on her phone to see what the notification is about.

KittyCat42; O.M.G did you see Dr. Wells today? a shirt THAT tight can not be workplace appropriate!!!

Attached is a photo taken from a smartphone at an angle in which the subject does not seem to be aware their picture is being taken. Dr. Harrison Wells is leaning over a desk, examining something on a monitor. Kitty is right; his shirt is very tight, his biceps bulge through the long black sleeves.

You grin, considering sending a reply, but another message comes in first.

YummyBitch73; Think he’s got plans? Looking that good, he’s got to be going out tonight.

Your thumbs move across the screen to type a quick response.

BabyDoll14; Maybe he has a date tonight?

KittyCat42; wonder who the lucky girl is?

You lean against a nearby workbench, smirking at the screen.

---

On the other side of the lab, somebody picks up their phone to check the barrage of notifications coming in. They chuckle before adding their own two cents.

Speedy22: Hey, who knows, it could be a lucky guy.

YummyBitch73: Oh you wish, he is a lady killer through and through

BabyDoll14: I mean, who are we to judge if it’s a lucky lady or gent. Maybe he swings one way, maybe he swings both ways. Who cares, we’re just here to talk about his ass behind his back.

“Speedy’ nods, almost respecting the woman on the other side of the screen for staying objective about objectifying her boss.

Speedy22: Speaking of ass, I got this one yesterday

He opens his gallery and scrolls until an ‘appropriate picture is found. A nice shot of Dr. Wells from behind; the quality is incredible for a smartphone shot. The man’s shirt is riding up, showing a nice strip of the skin of his back, even a bit of where his boxers rise above the waistband of his hands.

YummyBitch73: Damn Speedy, you always get the good ones. You’ll have to teach me some photography lessons sometime.

KittyCat42: what kind of camera are you using? The quality is so gooooood.

“Hey,” a woman’s voice draws his attention away from his device. “Are you staying late again tonight?”

Harrison Wells takes a breath to look her up and down, mentally running through his mind all the employees to try and remember who it is at his office door. “I’ll be headed out soon; I just have to wrap some things up.”

He recalls who she is when he sees the look she’s giving him. Brianna Masters, a specialist working down in Lab C. She would have had to go out of her way to get to his office before leaving. Self-proclaimed president of the Dr. Wells Fanclub, he had just been interacting with the group chat of; after the former president left with a job offer at Mercury Labs. She had been making goo-goo eyes at him since her interview three months ago.

“Well,” Bri twirls a curl of her hair, fluttering her eyelashes. “Harrison, you know I was wondering if you might like to take me out to get some drinks tonight?”

Dr. Wells tries to hide his displeasure at the thought. She wasn’t his type, physically, mentally, emotionally, “I have plans in the morning that require a clear head. Miss. Masters. Now is there anything of importance that you need?” The man was not adverse to flights of fancy to pass the time; he wouldn’t be keeping an eye on the little Fanclub of his if he wasn’t willing to look for ‘interested parties,’ but this particular woman has been of no real interest to him.

For reasons such as how she pouts at his response, “Well, having fun is important.” She mutters before wandering off down the hall, turning her attention to her phone.

YummyBitch73; holy Shit! He just asked me out for drinks. It sucks so much that I have to drive out to Coast City; I”d have taken him up in a heartbeat otherwise.

----

Back in Lab C, you finally finish with the maintenance on the machine. You check your phone once more while heading over to the desk and nearly cackle at what you’re reading. Everybody knows that Bri is full of shit, but there’s no point in calling it out and causing discourse.

You mute the phone to focus on your computer. While humming a quiet tune, you work on moving files to the USB stick plugged into the monitor.

“Fuck,” you whisper, seeing the download time in comparison to the clock on the screen. Of course, you could just leave it be, take the weekend off. It’s not like you get paid extra to run calculations at home.

17 minutes later

“Nonononono, wait, please!” You’re half running to the street as the bus pulls away, leaving you in the illuminated circle of a streetlamp, cursing yourself. That was going to be the last bus coming this way for the night. If you walk home, you’ll never make it in time to change for the party. You might not even make the event at all. You pace up and down the sidewalk, contemplating your options.

A car pulls up beside you, tinted window rolling down, “Need a lift?”

You stop, shocked, “Oh, no I…” you pause, looking through the window, “Dr. Wells, hi...hey.” You swallow your pride. “I would really love to get a ride on-with, with you.” Internally you cringe at how that came out, but figure he probably wouldn’t have heard such a minor slip.

The lock clicks open, and you reach for the door.

“Maple Apartments on South 11th street, right?” Harrison glances at you as you get in the car.

You pause before shutting the door, “do I want to know how you know that?”

He laughs, and you jump a bit at it, “I can see how that would sound a little suspicious.” His smile is reassuring, and his blue eyes are kind behind his glasses. “It was on your registration forms when you started. I enter new employee data myself. Total recall can be useful even for small matters.”

You breathe a sigh of relief, shutting the door and buckling in. “I really appreciate this Dr. Wells, I would have been so late tonight if I didn’t get home to change soon.”

“Bit plans tonight?” Harrison asks as he starts driving. Truth is he had suspected you’d be missing her bus. He had seen you running after the last bus or driven past you walking home numerous times out his way out. You had quite the habit of working until the absolute last moment.

You smile, twiddling your thumbs to keep your hands occupied. “Yeah, I’m meeting a friend at the new bar that opened down the street from my place. She’s getting married soon, and since I can’t make the wedding, I promised I would spend at least a couple hours at her bachelorette party.” You aren’t exactly sure why you’re volunteering this information to your boss. It would be inappropriate to be so casual with him; then again, it’s also inappropriate to be part of a Fanclub that secretly takes pictures of him and talks about how great his ass looks.

Harrison ‘hmms’ in thought. “Why can’t you make it to the wedding?” He glances at you out of the corner of his eye, taking a moment to take in the way you sit, act, look, before returning his eyes to the road.

“Oh, they scheduled it for a Wednesday, so,” you look towards him just moments after he looks away. The first thing you notice is his hair; whenever you’ve seen him in the morning, it’s perfectly combed and straight, but it seems like as the day went on, it began to take on a life of its own. While the back is still nice and neat, the front is sticking out in all kinds of directions.

“You could have asked for the day off,” Dr. Wells offers, “Am I such a terrible boss that you think I”d deny you some vacation after all your hard work?”

You feel a heat rise to your cheeks at what seems to be a compliment to her work ethic, “Oh no, I don’t think that at all. It’s just that, well, we have so much work to do. Every day we get a little closer to your dreams of the particle accelerator, and I want to contribute absolutely everything I can to that dream.” You smile. “You’re going to do such incredible things for the world of science Dr. Wells, and I don’t want to waste any time that could be spent helping you.”

The man is somewhat stunned by this. He’d attributed her long hours and determination to personal ambition. “What about you? Do you want history to remember you for your achievements?”

You bite your lower lip in thought at the question, “I mean sure, it would be nice to be recognized for my contribution, but,” she takes a deep breath, “I’m more concerned about how my work will impact the world, not so much if I’m remembered for it. Anyways you’re the true genius. I can tell that STAR Labs will make big changes and put humanity on a path towards the future. As long as I get to be a part of that, it’s all I really need.”

Harrison does a low chuckle at your sentiment, amused by the naivety. You speak with such hope and wonder and admiration. If you knew the truth, how horrified would you be? The realization of the end goal of the particle accelerator, the effects across history that your determination would wreak.

He grins, “Well, I am glad to have such a dedicated employee, but I do believe that one off day is not going to hurt our progress.”

You purse your lips, “You don’t come down to Lab C very often; you’d be surprised how off the rails things can go when I’m not there. Anyways I would rather work than go to a wedding. It’s not my kind of scene.”

He can sense that you are holding something back but doesn’t press the issue any further. He’s reached your apartment building anyways.

“If you change your mind, I’ll be more than happy to give you the time off,” he says as he parks.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you reach for the door handle, “oh, and thank you so much for the ride. I really owe you one.”

Dr. Wells makes a mental note about cashing in that favor later. “You just stay safe and enjoy yourself tonight.” He smiles warmly at you as you wave goodbye, but when the door shuts, his grin turns a bit darker. He watches you walk away, eyes tracing the curve of your figure, resting on the beautiful shape of your rear, right up until you disappear into your building.

As he begins to drive away, he catches sight of himself in the rearview mirror. There is something about this form of his that seems to drive the ladies crazy, and he wasn’t opposed to taking advantage of that. While pulling back into the street and driving away, he thinks on his situation.

For 13 years now, Eobard Thawne has been trapped in this god-forsaken time period. For a while, he had focused solely on his mission, rarely interacting with others unless it served a greater purpose. But he was still a man, subject to desire. At first, it was almost enough to make him regret allowing Harrison Well’s wife to die, she could have filled his needs easily. But that woman had been intelligent; she’d have discovered his identity eventually, so allowing her to die had been for the best.

Still, after a few years of isolation, Thawne had found the need unbearable and began seeing ways to fill the hole that was forming in his chest. Little flings, one-off nights where he indulged his carnal side, allowed himself the pleasure of another’s body before quickly parting ways with them, when he discovered that a fanclub devoted to him had been formed amongst his employees, that made the whole thing easier.

Joining the group chat under a false name was easy enough. It inflated his ego every time he read them discussing how great they thought he looked, and he was more than happy to provide material for them to gush over. And with that, it was like he had been given a list of women who would fuck him with no questions asked. All he had to do was choose. Of course, he has to be wary of those who might get too clingy or go off telling other people. But it’s not that hard to week those types out of the pack.

Thawne notices magenta neon as he’s driving. A club with a grand opening sign out front. He smiles, knowing that now not only does he have a new prey lure in, but the perfect hunting ground as well.

#eowells x reader #eowells fanfiction #harrison wells x reader #harrison wells fanfiction #eowells #harrison wells #jade writes

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mcytblrsexymen · 1 year

Text

Highlights from the Mod Chat Pt. 2

[ID: discord message from Fiendish Bots/Glorious Sideblogs, reading: why are you telling me what's bumming people out on twitter]

[ID: discord message from fake GeorgeNotFound fan, reading: I saw that. First of all, who is out here saying we have principles, It has been reacted to with the Clap emoji 10 times.]

[ID: discord message replying to Fiendish Bots/Glorious Sideblogs, reading: get gud, I started in he... the reply from number one howl simp reads: whats the term for skill issue but in reverse. thats u it has been reacted to with the Laugh emoji three times]

[ID: discord message from fake GeorgeNotFound fan, reading: looked at this message, went over to Spotify to type in the song I wanted to lsiten to and go halfway through typing "Wilbur soot" instead It has been reacted to with the Laugh emoji five times]

[ID: discord message from classically trained drabbler, reading: okay im getting back to voter frauding]

[ID: message from SAD GAYISMS for SEXYLAMPNAP, reading: tumblr this is a terrible message to give me because now i know i can try Homestuck01 on accounts en masse and eventually get into one an image of a tumblr alert reading "That password is known to be included in compromised password lists. Please choose something more unique."]

[ID: discord message from Fiending Bots/Glorious Sideblogs, with a picture of the GoodTimesWithScar v Technoblade poll attached. The messages read: Someone reported it for mature content I appealed]

[ID: discord message from roxxy, reading: in ither news i need you all to know i just sent a bee to hell with a hose it has been reacted to with the CryCatScream emoji six times]

[ID: discord message from a capricious and willful god, reading: doc officially won rendoc divorce]

[ID: discord message from [binaural + bisexual], reading: IS THIS HOW IT FEELS WHEN YOUR TEAM WINS THE SUPERBOWL It has been reacted to with the Laugh emoji seven times]

[ID: discord message from Fiending Bots/Glorious Sideblogs, reading: holy shit that poll was a thousand years of battle]

[ID: discord conversation: [Binaural + Bisexual]: loving the grian fans cheering for his demise SAD GAYISMS for SEXYLAMPNAP: we did it for the daily-grian mod husband even let me vote on his account i love being married the first message from sexylampnap has been reacted to 7 times with the 100 emoji]

[ID: discord from [binaural + bisexual], responding to an image from Fiendish Bots/Glorious Sideblogs: okay so here's the deal: you play stupid games you get blocked it has been reacted to once with the 100 emoji]

[ID: discord message from former leash kid, reading: i wont start shit [two "press x to doubt" reacts] promise]

[ID: discord message from VOTE FOR TECHNOBLADE, reading: Tbh I think I'm gonna rally the techno voters (all 1.5 of them who follow me) to vote for scar because our block guy deserves to get beaten by the sexyman champion it has been reacted with the 100 emoji 3 times]

[ID: discord messag from Fiendish Bots/Glorious Sideblogs, reading: the siren song of infographics]

[ID: discord message from Fiendsish Bots/Glorious Sideblogs, reading: instructions unclear: who? a photo of a twitter comment from loeufmf reading "I WANT THAT TWINK OBTLIRATED" is attached]

[ID: discord message from undercover weeb, reading: I'm fairly certain Wilbur would be delighted to have sexual tension with Grian it has been reacted to twice with the pointing emoji]

[ID: discord message from Fiendish Bots/Glorious SIdeblogs, reading: yeah the appropriate way to respond is "excuse me you could balance a glass of champage on this ass" it has been reacted to nine times with the Clap emoji]

[ID: discord message from classically trained drabbler, reading: he is so cute but also human cleo is disgusting and offputting to me]

[ID: discord message from roxxy, reading: this is making me emotional, weirdly and its not the q in fishnets...... Hm it has been reacted to four times with the Laugh emoji]

[ID: discord message reading: I'm seeing mcytblrsecxymen posts being blocked for the word "terf" and I was like damn what fresh discourse is this you're dealing with??? Anyway it's the word quarterfinals it has been reacted to with the Sob emoji four times]

[ID, discord conversation: classically trained drabbler: listen our guy is fighting here in the trenches alongside us while your guy sips wine and plays his harp away from the battlefield. vote for joe, a guy of the people [binaural + bisexual]: A true sexyman lets other people get their hands dirty]

[ID: discord message from former leash kid, reading: i think i'm going to vote etho bc it's what doc would want from me]

[ID: discord message reading: listen everything that I'm learning about joe makes him seem like the coolest guy ever actually like. damn I would sit down to drink with him. however quackity looks like a lesbian in that one photoshoot so like recognizes like and whatever It has been reacted to two times with the 100 emoji and three times with Pensive]

[ID: discord conversation: SAD GAYISMS for SEXYLAMPNAP: i live voter fraud c/ping passeords is the best idea i've ever had classically trained drabbler: guys i know voter fraud is fun and sexy but the joeguys are outnumbered 40 to one pls be nice to us SAD GAYISMS for SEXYLAMPNAP: IM EVIL]

[ID: discord message from [binaural + bisexual], reading: bad sleep schedules rule the polls, 😔 it has been reacted to three times with the Pensive emoji]

[ID: discord conversation: Fiendish Bots/Glorious Sideblogs, attaching an image of a tumblr comment where user honq said "IF YOU VOTE QUACKITY I"LL DRAW ETHO AND HIM KISSING!" [binaural + bisexual]: that is a fascinating offer]

[ID: discord message reading: I was on call w her and my mum today talking about how much fun I'm having and my mother wanted to see what the fuss was about so she googled "Minecraft poll" and said wow they do one every year! it has been reacted to six times with the Laugh emoji and eight times with the Joy emoji]

[ID: discord message reading: now time to throw my whole ass into voting for cleo thank god I am a feminist]

#data crunch group chat #long post

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insaneasgardian · 3 years

Text

Arachnid Enigma - Irondad and Spiderson

Inspired by a headcanon from @cassiecasyl

“I just had this thought... Tony suddenly gets hyperfixated on spiders and noone knows why. The first time the Avengers notice it's on a mission and it's not weird, he's a genius after all, they figure he just knows stuff. But then he begins rambling about spiders randomly. And sometimes he speaks about some issues like it's personal experience but he doesn't have a pet spider, Nat confirmed that?? What is going on???”

And an addition to it by @savvysass

“Lmao then spiderman walks in and they r like ah. Ok.”

............................................................................................

Also, this is an Irondad and Spiderson fic. I do NOT ship Starker for obvious reasons. If you do, I would like you to leave my blog.

🦸‍♀️🦹‍♂️🦸‍♂️🦹‍♀️ 🦸‍♀️🦹‍♂️🦸‍♂️🦹‍♀️ 🦸‍♀️🦹‍♂️🦸‍♂️🦹‍♀️ 🦸‍♀️🦹‍♂️🦸‍♂️🦹‍♀️ 🦸‍♀️🦹‍♂️🦸‍♂️🦹‍♀️ 🦸‍♀️🦹‍♂️🦸‍♂️🦹‍♀️

There have been several times Tony Stark has displayed a fascination with arachnids. The first time Tony ever mentioned spiders was on a stealth mission in Bhutan where a HYDRA base had been spotted. It was supposed to be relatively easy, break in, grab intel, don’t be seen, and get out. It was a successful mission but not everything went according to plan.

“I’m in” Steve spoke into his comms as he looked around the HYDRA base he had just infiltrated. “No sign of any people, just a lot of spiders and dust”, he added, eyeing the critters that scuttled around the dark and grimy area.

“Of course there are,” Tony commented, “HYDRA isn’t exactly a stickler for cleanliness, and spiders love dirty, sooty, nasty areas to live in”. Steve proceeded to roll his eyes at the obvious remark. It was just Tony being Tony.

“Has everyone managed to locate the entrance?”, The Captain inquired, getting plenty of affirmative responses. Soon enough, everyone managed to enter the building and joined Steve in the large room he stood in.

There was no illumination except for the few rays sunlight that filtered in through the cathedral window. Just as Steve had said, there was an immense amount of dust settled all over the floor, window, and grand staircase that led to the second floor, along with a lot of arachnids. Clint stepped forward, accidentally crunching a couple of spiders under his foot. Tony clenched his jaw tightly, “Don’t. DO THAT!” he hissed extremely loudly, alarming everyone.

Clint gulped, “Geez, sorry”. Unfortunately for the team of heroes, Tony had not only surprised his colleagues but the occupants of the building too. Shuffling and a lot of movement was heard, and before the Avengers could retreat, the enemy confronted them.

“Great work Tony”, Natasha mumbled angrily under her breath when she saw several HYDRA agents rushing down the stairs. Earth’s mightiest heroes worked quickly and efficiently to take out the flocks and flocks of operatives running at them. Although it wasn’t a very hard job, it still took out the stealth element out of their job.

After the oncoming threat was wiped out and the data they needed had been collected, the team swiftly exited the base and entered the quinjet where Bruce was waiting for them. “What happened?” the scientist asked, inspecting his friends who were covered in gore.

Sam sighed, “Tony happened”, he stated simply.

Another time Tony spoke of the arachnids was when they had a day off, and decided to spend them with Clint’s family at their farm. It was around now that a few of the heroes began to suspect that Tony wasn’t just knowledgeable about the eight legged critters, but he was utterly fascinated by them.

“Thank you again for having us Laura” Wanda said, earning a kind smile from Clint’s wife.

“It was no problem at all!” she responded, putting together some quick snacks for the whole team.

The Avengers had a great time with the Bartons. Chatting and laughing, gossiping and giggling. It was fun. Just before they were about to leave and as Clint kissed his wife goodbye, a little shriek was heard. It was Nathaniel Barton.

Everybody was alarmed at first, thinking something terrible had happened to the boy, but when they saw the cause, they couldn’t help burst out laughing. A large house spider was crawling on Nathaniel’s show. Although spiders were the cause of a rational phobia, the team of heroes did not fear the hairy critter before them.

Tony stepped forward and picked up the spider, placing it somewhere it would be safe, and also where Nathaniel wouldn’t freak out over it. He then turned to the youngest Barton child, “Don’t worry kid,” he began “spiders are great creatures! Honestly, they’re really cute, and nice, and brave”.

Thor snickered, “You speak of spiders as if they’re people”. Tony opened his mouth to say something, but then hurriedly shut it and looked away from the group. Tony was quiet. That was a first. What was happening to Tony?

Meanwhile, Rhodey stood in the corner, looking at the confused glances his friends gave each other as they attempted to figure out what was causing Tony’s new behavior. He smiled, and this didn’t go unnoticed by Loki who narrowed his eyes slightly and chewed his lip in thought. What did Colonel James know?

To mention one more instance in which Tony displayed an unusual interest in spiders was just the day after the Avengers visit to the Bartons. Nick Fury had brought his pet tarantula to work and the team was crowded around it.

“What’s his name?” Sam curiously inquired.

“It’s Bert,” the director responded, sounding rather bored, “I got him from Agent Hill’s house, she despises spiders”.

Tony looked at Maria, who was standing quite far away from Bert, cautiously watching him. “Don’t be scared Maria!” he exclaimed, “They’re gentle, come closer”. The agent’s eyes widened in fear and she rapidly shook her head which made a few of the Avengers chuckle. “Come on”, Tony encouraged.

Maria looked around the room for an escape, but seeing that everyone in the room had conveniently blocked the exits she sighed and walked closer. “Go on and pet him”, Fury remarked, clearly amused at the situation. Agent Hill desperately wanted to refuse but she didn’t want to chicken out so she carefully held out a finger and ran it over the tarantula’s hairy body.

She wanted to puke.

“See! It’s not so bad!” Steve said, smiling at her. Still, the agent quickly pulled away. Spiders were definitely not her thing. “Yes, spiders are just as scared of humans and some humans are of them,” Tony began, “they’re quite shy actually but very gentle! They won’t hurt anybody unless they feel provoked-”

“What is it with you and spiders?” Bruce cut him off with a playful grin. The genius billionaire playboy philanthropist froze and all the humor initially on his features disappeared. Everyone noticed this change in behavior and Bruce fidgeted uncomfortably, believing he had upset his lab buddy. “I mean... you just speak of them a lot, do you have like a pet spider or something?”

Tony remained quiet but Natasha answered, “No, he doesn’t have any pets”. The group turned to the redheaded assassin and she shrugged, “What? I’m a spy, I know stuff”.

A silence fell over once again, and it was interrupted by Tony. “Oh! I got a business meeting soon, see you guys later”, and with that, he turned and trudged away just as Phil Coulson walked in. Tony bumped into him, “Sorry Agent” he mumbled quietly before proceeding to walk out.

Phil shot Nick and Maria a confused look, and both returned it. The Avengers on the other hand knew for sure something was up.

The last time the Avengers wondered about Tony’s obsession with spiders was also the time they found out its cause. The entire team was just about to enter Tony’s lab.

“Sleep well spidey boy” are exactly the words the Avengers heard Tony whisper before they could walk into his lab. They all heard it, and looked around at each other for confirmation that they were hearing the right thing. They then proceeded to have a conversation right outside Tony’s work space. A quick one, in which they decided it was time to confront Tony about his spider problem. There was nothing wrong with loving them, but talking to a spider? This was unhealthy.

So they opened the door to the lab and walked in on a very surprised Tony Stark, his face paled, but he regained his composure. “Heyyyy, what’s up guys?” he asked, casually leaning against a wall.

His superhero friends looked at him sadly and Steve stepped forward, “Tony, I think it’s time we talked about-” he was interrupted by a snore. Captain America agitatedly glanced back, “Can you guys please be serious?”, he requested. However, everyone behind him was looking confused.

Then a cough was heard, then another, it then developed into a coughing fit. Then there was silence. Until there wasn’t. “Oh shoot! I am so sorry Mr Stark, did I disturb yo-... OH MY GOD IT’S THE AVENGERS!”, a voice came from the ceiling. The group collectively looked up and saw a boy, no older than 16 with wavy brown hair and adorable doe brown eyes gaping at them.

Tony tiredly rubbed his eyes, “Hope you had a nice nap Peter,” he said, “Come down now”. The boy, Peter, obliged and hopped down from the ceiling without injuring himself.

“How did you do that? Stick to the ceiling I mean” Bucky asked.

Peter looked at the super soldier and smiled brightly, “I’m spiderman!”, he practically yelled, “It’s what I do!”. The Avengers all looked at this young boy in shock.

“The kid from Queens?” Wanda asked.

“Yea, the kid from Queens,” Rhodey confirmed, “Tony kept Peter a secret this whole time as so not to endanger him”.

The billionaire nodded and smiled sheepishly, “Secrets out now I guess...” he murmured.

There was silence, it wasn’t awkward or comfortable. It was the kind of silence that hung in the air after a huge revelation... It was astounded silence.

Tony broke it, he placed a hand on Peter’s shoulder and began guiding him out the room, “Come on kid, let’s go get some cheeseburgers”. With that, they stepped out the lab and left the rest of the people still standing there, completely appalled.

Steve turned back to the group he had led into the lab, “Well... that kind of explains the interest in spiders I guess...”

@emma-elsa-0000 @lost-lunar-wolf @joyful-soul-collector @teammightypen @blerghfish @incorrect-spiderson @only-love-can @badmcuposts @cassiecasyl @savvysass

#Avengers #Irondad #Spiderson #Irondad and Spiderson fic #Tony keeping Peter a secret #Peter sleeping on the ceiling #Marvel #funny avengers #funny marvel #marvel fanfiction #avengers fanfiction #inspired

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kimistorm · 3 years

Text

Late Night Shenanigans [Bang Chan x Reader]

Fandom: Stray Kids

Pairing: Bang Chan x GN! Reader

Warnings: None! <20% of this is actually a texting conversation

Summary: You’re a little doubtful of where Chan is taking you for your midnight date, especially since he looks to be taking you into the middle of nowhere, but by the end of the night, you end up with a very special wish.

You ran your hands through your hair in frustration as you looked at your assignment. You had been staring at this darn problem for the past half hour, going to google and desperately searching for something that wasn’t behind a paywall.

Armed with Chan’s answer and excitement for later that night, it wasn’t long until you received another text from your beloved boyfriend letting you know was outside.

You quickly shut off your laptop and grabbed your house keys before heading out to the front door of your home. You silently made your way through the house, straining your eyes to see from the small amount of moonlight peeking through the windows. A hand waved around cautiously in front of you in hopes that it would keep you from smashing into a wall. Once at the door, you felt it safe enough to turn on the flashlight from your phone. Enough to see which pair of shoes was yours. You quietly slipped them on, and eased out the front door as quietly as you could, cringing when the deadbolt clicked as you unlocked and locked it behind you.

Turning around, you saw Chan’s black car stopped in the street in front of your house. You quickly ran across the grass towards him, and pulled open the door to the passenger side, “fancy seeing you here.” You grinned as you slid into the seat, “come here often?”

He paused to think about it, “I’d say so, I have a beautiful significant other who lives in that house.”

“Aww,” you cooed as the two of you gave a quick kiss, “you’re too kind.”

“I see no lies.” He responded smoothly as he pulled on the shifter and released the hand brake to head towards your destination.

“Yeah?” he didn’t see your quirked brow as you admired his profile, “well there’s an even more beautiful man right next to me.”

He scoffed, “no.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Naurrrr.”

“I can do this all night.” You teased when you noticed the annoyance in his voice grow with each comeback.

“Please don’t,” he nearly sighed out, “Jisung kept on texting me awful jokes and puns.”

You let out a mock offended shout, “and he didn’t think to include me?”

“Consider yourself blessed.” He responded as his eyes stayed on the road. While it was quiet, and there were hardly any cars about, he was taking the two of you down a winding path devoid of lights except for the ones coming from his headlights.

“Wait, but I want to hear!” you continued excitedly.

“What do you call a baby computer?”

You tilted your head to the side and thought about it, “minitor?”

“What?” the shock in his voice was clear, “what does that even mean? Like a minotaur?”

“Ah, like a mini-monitor?” you tried to defend your answer, “nevermind that. What was the answer?”

“Data.” Chan deadpanned and it was your turn to be in shock and confusion.

“Data?”

“Da-ta-ta,” he added in a baby voice and you nearly snorted. Mostly from the sound of Chan doing a baby voice, and not really because of the joke. “Come on, it wasn’t that funny.”

“That’s such a Jisung thing,” you smiled as you watched the scenery pass by before turning on your phone to confront said person.

When did that happen? You quickly checked the group chat and scrolled through it a bit to see ‘Seungmo removed Jeekies from the chat.’ Without a second of hesitation, you quickly added Jisung back into the chat.

“Is that the group chat going off?” Chan asked and you took your attention away from the chat to look up at him and the road.

“Yeah, Jisung and I are tagteamming the data joke.” You replied with a smile.

Chan let out a groan, “it’s not a good joke.”

You let out a giggle, “I’ll tell that to Jisung.”

“Believe me, he knows.”

“Do you know why Jisung was proposing to Minho with a squid?” you turned off your phone to refocus on what was happening around you. The area had darkened quite a bit, and by this point you had no idea where you were. You were impressed that Chan seemed to know where he was going, considering how he didn’t even have any navigation system up.

The man in question nearly choked, “proposing with a squid?” he asked incredulously and even glanced towards you in confusion, not that he could make out anything from the darkness.

“Well, an octopus.” You admitted, recognizing the difference between the two.

His laugh blended into his next words, “no. About time though.”

You laughed along with him, “I don’t think Minho liked it that much. Or Seungmin.”

Chan already had a hunch as to what happened and clicked his tongue almost disapprovingly, “did he remove Sungie from the chat?”

“Yuup.”

Chan let out a sigh, “of course he did.”

You laughed at his resignation, “anyways, where we going?”

“You just thought to ask now?” he couldn’t help but laugh at the sudden question, considering how the past few minutes were quiet except for the typing from you and the background music from his spotify playlist.

“I mean, I trust you, so I’m not too concerned.” You hummed and gazed out to the dark expanse surrounding you, “I’d say Area 51 but we’re nowhere close to that.”

“This will be better than aliens,” Chan confirmed with a nod.

You glanced at your phone that lit up again with a picture of an actual squid, Jisung must’ve been running out of octopus pictures, “I think Jisung’s got the alien part covered.”

“Anyways, here we are.” Chan slowed down the car and the dirt crunched beneath the tires as he pulled off to a small clearing by the side of the road. It looked remarkably the same as what the rest of the drive looked like. Dark and empty.

You gave him a confused look that he probably couldn’t see well as he turned off the car, “the middle of nowhere?”

“Exactly.” He told you with a touch of giddy excitement in his voice, “come on!” he nearly jumped out of the car and to the trunk, where he pulled out a blanket and a bag.

You were a bit more skeptical as you slowly got out of the car, “Channie? What are we doing?”

“You said you trusted me?” there was a pout in his voice as he stopped fiddling with trying to lay out the blanket on the hood of his voice.

“Of course I do,” you told him and quickly gave him a hug. You could tell he wasn’t that upset though, judging by the way his voice jumped a couple octaves.

“Hop on,” his voice returned to its normal level as he patted the soft fabric that was laid out on the largest flat surface of his car, “it’s thick enough that the heat from the engine won’t burn.” He added after a moment of hesitation from you. You felt bad for your hesitation and tried to scootch yourself up the hood, “like lay back.” He added as he laid down next to you. You followed his words and what greeted you was a dark sky littered with tiny pinpricks of light.

You felt your jaw drop in awe as you saw an entire collection of stars that you had never seen before. “Oh wow.” You gasped as you tried to soak in the view. It was almost humbling. Each of those tiny pinpricks of white were huge balls of gas light years away. The light that you were currently had traveled the distance of several light years and for several years, now to be witnessed by you and your boyfriend. A warm hand came down to clasp around yours and you eagerly squeezed back.

“It’s my favorite place to stargaze.” He told you softly as you continued to gape up at the sky.

You used your free hand to point at the streak of stars in the sky, the area outside of the streak looking surprisingly empty, “that’s the Milky Way?”

“Yup,” he continued in the same soft tone, enjoying the night atmosphere and you at his side, “that’s literally our galaxy.”

“Looks smaller than I expected,” you laughed and Chan giggled along with you.

“It’s about 50,000 light years across,” he added and gave you a light elbow, “not exactly small.”

“Okay smarty-pants,” you laughed and gave him a slight shove in return. He let out a sound of protest, but let you have the last laugh. You sighed and looked up to the sky again, “do you feel small?”

“From this small glimpse of how vast our universe is?” Chan asked without any hesitation.

You couldn’t help but tear your gaze away from the sky to deadpan at him, “when you put it that way that just makes it seem so much more intimidating.”

He shot you a dimpled smile that you were able to make out as your eyes adjusted, “no.” He scootched over to press himself against your side, “I feel impressed. So many things had to go right. Gravity is the perfect amount that it allows expansion of the Universe, but also brings things close enough together to form atoms. Our planet is the perfect distance away so we’re not scorched or frozen to death. Life evolved from tiny organisms that lived in the ocean to living, bipedal, thinking humans. I exist today. You exist today. And we met, and here we are, gazing at the universe around us. So no, I don’t feel small.” At some point during his ramblings Chan turned his eyes from the twinkling stars shining above to fix you with an adoring look, so it was to your great surprise when you turned and found a pair of eyes looking fondly at you.

“Wait that scares me even more.” You put a hand up to your mouth in slight fear and also to hide the grin as Chan let out an exasperated sound and rolled over so he was on his back again.

“That was insightful!”

“Too deep!” you protested, “it’s midnight, my head’s empty. No thoughts.”

A hand found its way to your head and ruffled at your hair, “lame.” You feebly cried out and tried to fight off his hand but ended up giving up and dealing with it, knowing that nobody was going to see your tousled hair. The hand found itself on the other side of you (effectively bringing the two of you even closer together) and pointed out the brightest star in the sky. “That’s Sirius. Well, technically Sirius A and B since it’s a binary system,” he rambled under his breath, not that you really had any clue what he was talking about, “but we just see it as one point of light.”

“I think you’re brighter than Sirius,” you couldn’t help the cheesy comment as you planted a quick kiss on his cheek.

You could almost see his ears redden and the embarrassed and slightly shocked smile grow on his face as you watched his reaction, “that’s a good one.”

You let out a happy hum and rested your head against his shoulder again, “anything more I should know about Sirius?”

There was a moment of silence before his hand rose back to point at the sky, “it’s part of the Canis Major,” he continued and tried to draw out the shape of the dog with his finger. “Though, not as major as my love for you.” He let out an awkward laugh mixed with a screech and pulled his hand away to cover his face with embarrassment.

“Was that you trying to one up me?” you questioned with a light grin on your face as you propped your head up on a hand as he peered at you past his fingers.

“Maybe?”

You laughed and pressed a kiss to his hands, “nice.” You laid yourself back onto the hood of the car and snuggled up next to him as he continued to point out stars and constellations in the sky while simultaneously giving you more astronomy knowledge than you knew what to do with. It was enjoyable and peaceful as the two of you left your buzzing phones inside the car and there wasn’t a car that passed on the road behind you. The cool night paired with the chirping of insects, Chan’s warm body heat, and the two of you just cuddling up under the stars was your the perfect way to end the week.

“That was a shooting star!” Chan screamed as he pointed up to the sky, you eagerly nodded as you saw the tiny streak of light, “make a wish!” you hummed in agreeance and closed your eyes as you thought about it, but finding it hard as everything you wanted was already right here. “I love you.” He added softly, planting a kiss onto your head.

“Love you too.”

Masterlist

Note: The octopus proposal is a reference to episode 2 of mysterious kitchen! That's literally Han holding that octopus.

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awesomeduskangel · 3 years

Text

Fanfiction and Mental Health: Qualitative Study

Hi, everyone! For my Qualitative Research Methods class, I am trying to conduct a study on how participants in fanfiction communities talk about mental health. This study has been approved by the IRB, protocol #22-2801. Ultimately, I aim to increase the bodies of research surrounding fanfiction and mental health, as well as encourage readers of the final paper to seek help for mental health if they need it. More elaborate study details are provided under the “Keep Reading”. You must be at least 18 years old and active in a fanfiction community (either a reader, writer, or both) such as Archive of Our Own or Fanfiction.net to participate. Your usernames and personal information will be kept confidential, and you are free to back out of the study at any time. After you read all of the study information, please message me privately if you’re interested or if you have questions. This is to ensure confidentiality. The deadline to message me will be Friday, October 22nd at 11:59 p.m. (since I’m on a bit of a time crunch).

Good morning,

My name is Clara Barnhardt, and I am a graduate student at James Madison University studying Communication and Advocacy. I have been an active participant in multiple fanfiction communities including Fanfiction.net and Archive of Our Own for almost 10 years. For my Qualitative Research Methods class, I would like to conduct a qualitative study focusing on how readers and writers of fanfiction talk about mental health. This study has been approved by the IRB, protocol #22-2801. I aim to broaden the bodies of knowledge surrounding fanfiction and mental health. Ultimately, my goal is to encourage individuals to seek out help to improve their mental health if needed.

The procedures for the study are outlined here:

“Participant criterion will include being at least 18 years old and being active on Archive of Our Own or Fanfiction.net, either as a fanfiction reader, writer, or both.

I will ask individuals who are interested in participating in the study to message me privately to ensure confidentiality. For each user who messages me, I will inform them of the purpose of the study. Additionally, I will inform them that their real usernames and personal information will be kept confidential, that their participation is voluntary, and that they are free to back out of the study at any time.

I will set October 22, 2021 at 11:59 p.m. as the deadline for responding to ensure enough time to collect data. After the deadline has passed, depending on how many responses I have received, I will select 4 to 6 users to interview based upon the order in which they were received.

The interview will take place in a private Discord group specifically created for the study. This group will be private to ensure confidentiality. If participants choose, they may also type in the chat. I will give the option of voice call and typing to users to make the interview more accessible for those who may not be comfortable using one or the other.

At the start of the interview, I will provide participants with the informed consent form. In the consent form, I will inform them that their real usernames and personal information will be kept confidential, that their participation is voluntary, and that they are free to back out of the study at any time. I will also provide them with mental health resources both before and after the study. The interview will take place for approximately one hour. I will record audio for transcribing purposes only. For chat text comments, I will record them in a private Microsoft Word document with audio timestamps.

During the interview, I will ask them questions surrounding their experiences with Archive of Our Own and mental health. At the conclusion of the interview, I will once again provide participants with mental health resources and thank them for participating.

To ensure confidentiality, after I have fully transcribed the audio and text comments from the interview, I will delete the private study Discord server.”

If you would like to participate in this study, please message me privately. If you have any questions, please message me privately.

Sincerely,

Clara Barnhardt

James Madison University Master’s Student

Communication & Advocacy

#grad school #graduate school #qualitative #study #qualitative study #fanfiction #mental health #archive of our own #ao3 #grad school study #graduate school study #ff.net #fanfiction.net

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celestial-archer · 3 years

Text

Team up

Surprise! You get another story very quick! Welcome to the collab between @reallifeonthetheseventhfloor and I!

AO3

Kelpie sighed and rolled her shoulders in relief as her avatar loaded into the world. It had been a little bit since she had been able to log into Yggdrasil. Between the numerous labs and the thesis her professor kept pushing her to write, her time had been pretty much taken up. She found it regrettable, but dreams take time to complete and she was determined to get hers done. But it didn’t mean she didn’t feel the itch to play any moment of free time she could. It was certainly a struggle to juggle her life and her gaming.

She looked down at her avatar and smiled. Her long black and purple spotted tail was as beautiful as ever. This was part of what made yggdrasil so worth it, she loved her naga avatar. She worked hard to get her upper body as close to her real appearance, even the glasses which she didn’t really need in game. Her corset was amazing too. Since her tail had built armor due to the scales, she had needed some kind of chest plate. The designs she found weren’t really her style but with the help of some data crystals the enchanted metal chestplate became an enchanted pinstripe corset. All in all, every time she saw her avatar she got a thrill of happiness.

Opening her menu, she looked at the quests that were currently active. Most were filler quests she didn’t care about except for the experience, but there was one she was determined to finish today. The quest Darkest Knight was a limited time dungeon crawl full of enemies called “Star Kin”. The common enemy item drops consisted of star fragments or star dust, but she was only interested in one specific drop. Cosmic Metal, a crafting item used to give an unknown effect to any material it is made into. With a drop rate of 3%, she’d already gone through the dungeon over ten times with no luck. Today was different, she had a good feeling about it. Even if it took a few times, she’d get the item today!

With a flick of her finger, the mini map flickered into the top right corner of her view. Her tail thumped happily seeing the very small amount of players around the dungeon today. Since it was a limited time dungeon many people gathered with their friends or guilds to challenge it. Whenever the people were there, she always felt self conscious. Unlike others, she had yet to find good friends. Plus she did not like the idea of joining a guild, so she had even little chance to meet people. She liked being a solo player, but being the only one without a party could make her feel a little envy and sadness.

She shook her head to clear her thoughts and clenched her hands in determination.

“You got this! Today is your day, I can feel it!” Punching her fist into the hair, she slithered her way to the dungeon entrance.

Like always the moment she stepped in, the world became shrouded in darkness. The only bits of light shining from the walls like stars in the night sky. It was breathtakingly beautiful and could almost make one forget they were in a dangerous dungeon. She once tried to take a piece with her to give to her npc, not that he would react at all, but the walls were resistant to all attacks. The sounds of feet thumping on the floor and faint twinkling alerted her to the incoming horde of enemies. Like instinct, she shifted her hands up and a bow materialized in them. A deep breath and she turned around drawing the string, allowing a pitch black arrow to coalesce.

Then she faltered a moment, the enemies weren’t swarming to her, but a blue-skinned four-armed djinn running away. Tilting her head in confusion, she stared intently at the djinn. She had two daggers in hand but with the way she kept casting spirit bolt at the enemies, Kelpie wondered if the djinn had a debuff cast onto her or if the Star Kins elements were one of her weaknesses. There was also the possibility that she was running away to regain health. The Star Kin were not very hard to kill, but they had high damage and could easily kill someone if they got cornered. There were no other players around her, so she assumed that the djinn was a solo player.

It was frowned upon in Yggdrasil to intervene in other’s battles without prior permission, but contrary to Kelpie’s karma rating, she couldn’t help but feel the urge to help the djinn. If the player got mad, she would give some gold to appease her.

She pulled the golden drawstring tight and loosed an arrow, striking the leader of the horde in the eye and staggering. She grinned and screamed “Strike!” The horde stopped and turned to target Kelpie, but with that momentary pause, she quickly shot several more arrows. Most times to change aggro, a tank needed to use the skill taunt, but because she wasn’t in a party with the djinn, just attacking the enemies was enough.

Kelpie had a level in the upper 70s so the beginning Star Kin enemies were not difficult to kill. They only needed two hits from her bow to die. She could just shoot them again, but feeling the need to be flashy, she decided to finish it in close combat. Darting towards the horde, she spun her body and slashed the enemies horizontally with the curved spikes on the front of her bow. The words “critical hit” appeared in golden text as the enemies screamed and crumbled into stardust. Within the pile of one, Kelpie could see the shiny bright red color of a healing potion. She reached in and grabbed it.

Shaking her hands rid of the dust, she turned and threw the healing potion to the djinn standing there watching her intently. Feeling a little embarrassed, she ducked her head and rubbed the back of her head shyly.

“Ah first let me say sorry for interrupting without asking. It uh seemed you could use a little help and I didn’t want to leave you to die if you did. You can have all the drops.”

Her tail twisted around itself in nervousness..

“No no, there’s no need to apologize, really! Thank you so much for helping me out! I, uh, should’ve thought to bring my Ring of Infiltration, I guess.”

She gave a sort of embarrassed half-laugh from behind the blue mask she wore.

“Would you rather have it? I’ve got a few Soul Soups packed for health already.”

She almost tossed the potion back, but paused, fiddling with the bottle. Then she walked over and held it out. Kelpie shook her head silently and gestured with her hand for the djinn to just keep it. With a grateful smile the djinn did, dropping it into her inventory.

“My name’s Zoba. I’m, uh, actually out here to farm some materials. And i-if you’re here to do the same… maybe we could team up?”

Before Kelpie could react, all four hands shot up, as though the djinn were already embarrassed by her own forwardness.

“Y’know—just like, a temporary party, I’m already in a guild, but—just so the offer’s open! Just, I’m grateful, wanted to offer.”

“Oh, ah you’re welcome. I’m Kelpie, I’m a solo player, no guild affiliation. Heh. Um I’ll have to pass on the team up, I'm really only here for the final drop, so I don’t have time to pick up a lot of drops in case it doesn’t appear and I need to do it again. If it's your first time in the dungeon, the Star Kin have a heavy advantage in close combat, but long range, they’re incredibly easy to kill.”

The blue mask was nodding up and down, two hands clasped behind the girl’s back while the other two tried to act nonchalant at her sides. A smiling emoticon with a sweat drop appeared, and she turned to look at the little piles of stardust.

“Thanks, I’ll remember that! I haven’t been here for this event before... I didn’t realize it was going on. There sure is a high spawn rate for these enemies, it seems...”

She jumped, whipping the mask back to face Kelpie.

“Oh! Um, but, yeah, no, that’s fine, I get it! I didn’t mean to pressure you into a party or anything, sorry; everyone’s got their own playstyle, and that’s part of what makes the game fun, right? Honestly, for me, it was fun just to meet you! Thank you again for the assist. And, uh—for taking time to chat, when you’re on a time crunch, and—yknow what, I’m just gonna—yeah I’m gonna... stop talking and head on this direction and let you do your thing! And uh... yeah!”

She made a laugh that somehow echoed the awkward emoticon just vanishing over her head.

“Yup thank you good luck then bye!!”

The djinn rushed away too quickly for Kelpie to respond. She let the hand she had extended to stop Zoba drop down with a heavy sigh.

“...Way to go, Kelpie. You could have made a friend if you weren’t so blunt. Ugh!”

This was one of the reasons she didn't get along well with other players. She always spoke what she thought and never cared to deal with false pleasantries. If she said something, she 100% meant it. If she was asked a question, she'd answer it completely whether or not the person actually wanted to know. A lot of the players she met found this to be annoying and refused to party with her. Truthfully though even if she regretted it in times like this, she didn't care to change it. She liked being the way she was.

Puffing out another sigh, she slithered farther into the dungeon. She kept her vigilance as she passed through each level of the dungeon. She was truthful when she said the Star Kin were weak to long range, but it wasn't always the easiest to avoid them. Each Star Kin was a close range class, but that meant each one could have a different skill set. She remembered one of her first runs when there was a group of ninja Star Kins who cornered her and managed to kill her before she could even notice they were there.

She tilted her head and listened closely. A barely audible rustle came from a divot in the wall. She slid a small vial of ash from her inventory and tied it to the front of her arrow. Aiming it, she shot the arrow straight through the opening. She heard the bottle shattering, flames igniting, and the screams of a group of Star Kins.

Kelpie's mouth twitched up into a smirk. She loved this moment every time she came back to the dungeon. Revenge for her lost hard won levels. Phoenix dust was an expensive item to use on them but the satisfaction of vengeance was well worth the trouble.

She continued onward with nothing of interest happening. She had gone through the dungeon many times that she knew all the hiding spots and spawning points there were. In no time she was at the boss's entrance. A large dark oak wood double door engraved with color changing constellations. Based on the time of day, the constellations would be in different locations on the door.

A booming crash echoed out as she heard the guttural screams of the enraged boss. The door squeaked ever so slightly as she peeked inside. The djinn Zoba was attempting to fight the boss. It was a giant in pitch black full plate armor with galaxies, stars, and black holes swirling around. In one hand, it had a thick spiked shield as black as its armor. In the other was a large blindingly bright one handed sword. Kelpie wondered how the djinn had gotten there before her, but remembered that one of the possible spawning traps was an instant teleport to the boss room. She’d only found it once and was surprised that Zoba had managed to stumble into it.

________

Ohhh shoot oh shoot oh shoot ohshootohshoot—

How had she gotten herself into this mess?? All she’d needed was a few Bailey Beads to finish a project, just three or four! And suddenly, instead of mining in a quiet corner of the cave, she looked up to see…

A boss.

She dissipated into mist as the weapon fell where she’d stood, ‘eep’ lost in her density change.

Where the heck had this gigantic knight even come from?!? How had she ended up in this room?!?

Dark oozed into the aura surrounding the armor-clad giant, and as it growled in frustration, trying to wrench it’s sword from the cave floor, an energy shot down it’s arm. Zoba’s ‘eep’ of surprise was still inaudible as the sword sparked with a blaze akin to a sun flare, and she darted her incorporeal form to the side.

Acting on adrenaline more than anything, her knives found their way into her reforming hands, swatting a blow at her attacker. Not that it would do any real damage, but if she was lucky, it would cause a recoil! That would give her time to retreat, to come up with an idea as to how in the heck she was gonna fight this boss alone, and—

No such luck.

Her natural elemental boosts were completely ignored, little number ones popping into existence over her attacks to confirm the failure. And then she realized… She had reformed on the inner side of her enemy’s arm, not beyond it.

She’d dodged deeper into it’s attack box.

Rookie mistake.

Well, dang it. Nishikienrai was gonna tease her so bad for this death.

Something smacked her in the face, and the recoil of the effect ‘Stun’ had her foggy almost instantly. Dang it!! Her arms wouldn’t respond, she couldn’t focus her vision—if she lost the levels this death would take, what would she do about the raid in a few days? She’d promised she could make it, and the guild was counting on her skills to pull off their plan—

The only thing she could clearly make out was a shake in the ground. Rhythmic. Growing closer. Footsteps. This boss was going to take it’s sweet time powering up a swing, wasn’t it? She was about to be destroyed in a two-hit K.O. This… This was turning out to be a day full of embarrassments, wasn’t it?

Just as she was trying to decide which guildmate would tease her more for dying like such a noob, Nishikienrai or Takemikazuchi, a much smaller sound rang out than the death-bringing shear she had expected, followed closely by a roar of anger, then—

KSHHINCK

Something huge landed to her left, bouncing against the stone ground. Metal? She tried to focus on the huge shining object she’d jumped away from. Was that the sword?… Why did the boss drop it’s—

There was another streak of movement, coming in fast, but before Zoba could worry too much about yet another enemy on the field she’d need to escape, her arm was grabbed, and she was being lifted to her feet. The ‘Stun’ effect began to clear, it’s penalty halved by aid of the assist.

As her vision came into focus, she noticed a short haircut. The back of a pinstripe corset. A long black and purple tail.

It was the Naga player from earlier. Kelpie.

She could have kissed the snake.

No time for that though; as images of smug emoticons over teasing guildmates vanished from her mind, she went into Teammate Mode. If she was gonna be saved a second time by the same friendly stranger, she sure as heck wasn’t gonna let the Naga fight alone.

Her screen blinked blue in the corner, and a new health bar appeared for her party member. Wow, Kelpie had accepted the invitation almost as soon as Zoba had sent it!!

Good. Outside the game, on her real face, Zoba grinned. Things had looked desperate before. But now?

Now, things were gonna get interesting.

Kelpie shifted her grip on the bow in her hand, having situated herself between Zoba and the tall enemy knight. "If you still have that health potion, drink it. I'll cover you as you heal,” she said, then she was gone, tail sashaying along the ground as she zipped to sink yet another arrow into her target.

Oh. Right. Health. Zoba looked at the glowing circles of the spell she was already casting, then nervously to the edge of her vision, the green nearly half depleted from the little bar below her name. Well… health potion would have to wait!

Two more seconds, and she sent her spell flying. Distracted by the barrage of Kelpie’s arrows, the boss wasn’t even able to angle it’s shield before the magic struck. Trickster’s Trade had hit it’s mark. Zoba let out a little victory chirp and jumped into the air, taking advantage of the momentum to dematerialize her legs and float up, farther from the boss’s range.

“Defense is gone; Specials are up but will be negated in a second!” Zoba was using two arms to yank the cork from the health potion, while the other two were already cooking up her next spell: Wishful Thinking. “The only guard it’s got against full damage for the next thirty seconds is it’s shield!”

Kelpie sprang into action, but Zoba was finished with Wishful Thinking as well as the potion, and was fully focused on her next spell. New rings circled around her hands, appeared under her floating form, and within a few moments, the magic was ready.

She flung it toward her target. Kelpie.

_______

The spell hit Kelpie and exploded in a puff of gold, which swirled in a loop down to her hip, forming a golden oil lamp. It was faint enough that Kelpie wondered if it was a physical object or not. Short beeps rang out, in the corner of her vision there were the status effects glowing gold: Speed +36%, Dexterity +36%, Strength +24%, Courage.

Dang, the Djinn was powerful. She had never seen a spell before capable of all these effects with such high percentages. Confident in her chances of winning, she grinned excitedly. It wouldn’t show on her avatar but she pictured the boss losing nerve at the maliciousness leaking from it.

Squaring her shoulders, she cast bloody venom, a spell that would give any attack poison damage while also draining her health a small amount with every hit. It was a new spell she had recently got when she reached the class “Venom Lord”. It wasn’t very powerful yet but with their increased chance of victory, she wasn’t gonna stop herself from trying it out.

The boss stood its ground and stared at the two players. It’s health bar was down by a sixth and more would soon be gone. It’s AI was advanced, so Kelpie knew it understood the danger it was in. If given enough time, she knew it would realize it should be targeting Zoba, but she wasn’t gonna give it that. Her arrow shot faster than ever before, whistling violently as it sliced through the air. It impaled clean through the corner of the boss’s shoulder, where the armor was weakest. A wet gurgle escaped the boss as it staggered clutching that shoulder. Sickly green 5s wafted out of the wound every second, indicating the poison damage was active.

Kelpie whistled in appreciation. She could get addicted to the power of the spell combos.

The boss flailed its shield around like it was trying to attack invisible enemies all around it. Ah, her posion’s 1% chance of delirium must have activated. This day was getting luckier and luckier. The status effect would only be active for 30 seconds so she would use her time wisely. She let loose several arrows in quick succession, getting its health down to a half.

An animation triggered the second stage. The sword returned to its hand and the helmet spasmed. The heavy clanks of metal on metal echoed as it’s helmet burst apart into heavy shrapnel. Its eyes were revealed to be large orange suns that flared. The hail of molten metal was too quick for either players to avoid and a decent chunk of their health was shaved away. The pitch black of its shield dissolved into a shower of ash, revealing the same blindingly bright white of the sword.

The boss glared at Kelpie before letting loose a roar that shook the entire cavern. The top of the cavern shivered, then began to fall apart. Large sections of stone slammed into the wall, causing Kelpie to stumble. Above them now was a spiralling galaxy purple and gold galaxy. It flashed every so often like the beating of a heart.

This was where they both needed to be extremely cautious. With their current health, a single hit from it would be an instant death, but still Kelpie was not worried. She had gone through this several times before and this time she even had status effects.

The boss lifted its sword and it shot a white beam straight up into the galaxy.

She twisted her head towards Zoba, yelling, “Watch out for the meteors!”

Immediately, flaming blood red meteors crashed down from above. Zoba skillfully weaved between the falling rocks, remaining unscathed.

Kelpie set her sight on one meteor. It was slower than the others and fell directly in front of the boss. She shot her arrow and noticed one meteor heading straight for her and narrowly avoided it by spinning to the side. She, however, was not far enough from the resulting blast. The flames burned and dropped her health to a fourth, but she was still not worried. Her arrow slammed right into the meteor, causing it to divert straight into the boss’ face. It’s health immediately dropped to ⅜.

The resulting scream reverberated in both player’s ears, causing a small decrease of their own health. They were so close to beating it!

The boss wiped the flaming stone from its eyes and slashed its sword in such a way that both Zoba and Kelpie would be hit. Kelpie shot another arrow, hitting the blade just enough that it would just pass over Zoba. In doing so though, she had no way to dodge herself. She lifted her bow and tensed, prepared to try to parry the sword.

“Spirit bolt!”

A smaller than expected impact hit her on the head and due to concentrating all her strength on her bow, she was knocked to the ground. 2 damage appeared in the air she had occupied just as the sword sliced through it. The boss stumbled and fell to the ground.

She glanced over to the djinn and saw Zoba’s arms stretched out. Nice, that was a smart move! Kelpie gave a thumbs-up and yelled out to her.

“I’m gonna try to end this!”

Setting her aim at the boss’s head, she drew the bowstring back and concentrated. The inky black arrow swirled and swelled to two, three times its size. Zoba shouted “Charged!” The gold oil lamp was already fading as Action +20% appeared next to Kelpie’s other status effects. The arrow was set loose and Kelpie reeled back from the recoil. The arrow shot even faster before, moving side to side like a slithering snake. It slammed deep into the boss’ head, causing it to fly off its body. The health bar dropped to zero and was replaced with the word “Victory”. The body and head exploded into black ash. There were two soft plinks as the drop items landed on the floor.

There in all its glory was the rare Cosmic Metal she longed for. Next to it was the common item “Solar Flare”, an orange and red swirling orb. It gave the player who equipped it flame resistance and fire damage. It could also not be equipped with any cold type items.

Kelpie gingerly picked up the Cosmic Metal. The temptation to pocket it and run was very high, but she couldn’t do that to the nice djinn. She turned to face Zoba.

“Would you let me keep this? I know it's a very valuable item, but if you let me have it. You can have the Solar Flare and if you want i’ll help you farm this dungeon and show you all the secrets I found.”

Zoba came back to earth, feet forming and prancing forward as she came to peek at the two drops. “Yeah, of course! You said you were after an item from the boss, after all. And, well, I personally wouldn’t use it, but someone in the guild might have a use for a Solar Flare; I’ll add it to the treasury, thank you!” She folded her hands behind her, shifting her weight to one foot. “Uh, if you happen to know a good spot to pick up some Bailey Beads during this event? That’s what I came here for! And, well… it would be fun to stay teamed up a bit longer. You’re pretty good at this teammate stuff, you know!”

Kelpie sent a blushing and smiling emoji.

"Ah thank you. Teaming up with you is fun for me too! There's a few treasure rooms where the Bailey Beads spawn. I'll take you to them now!"

She waved for Zoba to follow her and together they walked through the boss door.

#overlord #kelpie dark #kelpie #zoba #real life on the seventh floor #my oc #others ocs #collab

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engineering-rants · 4 years

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So I had a lab due yesterday. These reports are done in groups of three, but in the last lab myself and another individual ended up doing the whole thing. This time we broke apart the lab into parts, each person was responsible for their own. The third group member, I kid you not, left their one section to the very end. So much so that the day of they message us saying the data they have is flawed. They didnt even think to check the data they got earlier. So 8 hours before the deadline I am frantically emailing all the professors, and TA, trying to save my grade by getting new data. When I finally do receive proper data, a few stressful hours later, the group member ends up just half-doing the section and crunching out the wrong numbers. I kid you not, there were sentences that were repeated in the same paragraph, word for word. If it wasn’t that then the sentences were chopped as if point form notes were put into a paragraph. Safe to say that it was a stressful day. To top it all off, an hour before midnight another group chat became active where a team member just started proof reading a report. Like what even is this last minute work ethic? I get that people can have a lot going on, but this is just absurd. Do people not realize that teamwork involves working together and taking into consideration each individual’s time?

(05/08/2020)

#studyblr #student #engineering student #engineering #uni life #undergrad #school #studyblr community #study life #study #studying #engblr #study blog #engineering-rants #rant #teamwork

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lingthusiasm · 4 years

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Transcript Episode 40: Making machines learn language - Interview with Janelle Shane

This is a transcript for Lingthusiasm Episode 40: Making machines learn language - Interview with Janelle Shane. It’s been lightly edited for readability. Listen to the episode here or wherever you get your podcasts. Links to studies mentioned and further reading can be found on the Episode 40 show notes page.

[Music]

Lauren: Welcome to Lingthusiasm, a podcast that’s enthusiastic about linguistics! I’m Lauren Gawne.

Gretchen: I’m Gretchen McCulloch. Today, we’re getting enthusiastic about artificial intelligence – teaching computers language – with special guest Dr Janelle Shane, who runs the blog A.I.weirdness.com and is the author of You Look Like a Thing and I Love You, which is a fun new book about A.I. But first, we have some announcements.

Lauren: It’s a new year and we have new, big, exciting plans for the Lingthusiasm Patreon page. We are introducing a Discord, which is an online chat space, for patrons to share their lingthusiasm with their fellow lingthusiasts.

Gretchen: We’ve heard from a lot of you that you got into linguistics because of Lingthusiasm or it reawakened your memories of how much you like linguistics because you did some courses on it way back when and now you wish you could talk about linguistics more. We’re giving you a space where you can talk about linguistics, share your interesting linguistics links that you come across, and talk about them in a space with other lingthusiasm fans. We’re really excited to see what this community becomes. It’s a bit of an experiment, but we think it’ll be really fun to do. You can join the Patreon at the tier where you get bonus episodes as well, and you also have a space to talk about those bonus episodes and the regular Lingthusiasm episodes and any other linguistics things you wanna talk about.

Lauren: We want to see more Lingthusiasm not just online but also on all kinds of things, which is why we are also sending stickers over the next few months to patrons at the Ling-phabet tier. Patrons who are at that tier for three months or more will get stickers that say, “Lingthusiast” on them.

Gretchen: You can stick that to your laptop, your water bottle, your notebook, anything else in your life. Because the original trial run of stickers that we did with the special offer last year were really popular, we thought we’d provide a way for you to do that around the year. You can join that tier on Patreon as well.

Lauren: You can get other items at our lingthusiasm.com/merch page, but the stickers are an exclusive for our patrons.

Gretchen: Thanks to everybody who’s been a patron so far. We’re really excited to see you in the Discord. And we’re excited to get to try that out.

Lauren: Our last exciting announcement is that our patrons also helped us meet a new funding goal, which means that we now have some additional ling-ministration support.

Gretchen: Our fantastic producer Claire, who’s been with us since the very beginning, is also going to be taking on some more of the administration for the podcast, so you’ll see her around a bit on social media and on Patreon. You can listen to a bonus episode with Claire if you’d like to get to know her better as well.

Lauren: Our current bonus is on the future of English and what English might look like in a couple of centuries from now, inspired by Gretchen’s New York Times article.

Gretchen: You can get access to this episode and 34 other bonus episodes – that’s twice as much Lingthusiasm that you can listen to – at patreon.com/lingthusiasm.

[Music]

Gretchen: Hello, Janelle. Welcome to Lingthusiasm!

Janelle: Hi, it’s great to be here.

Lauren: Janelle, we are so excited to have you on the show today to talk about how we can make machines do language.

Gretchen: I think one of the things that we have in common, definitely one of the reasons I enjoy following your blog and Twitter feed and so on, is that both linguists and your approach to A.I. like poking at systems and seeing where they break.

Janelle: Yeah, for sure.

Gretchen: In case some people aren’t already following you on all of the internets, I wanna give people an idea of some of the stuff that you have tried to make break.

Lauren: Janelle, in your work, for people who haven’t seen it, you take large data sets of particular sets of terms or particular language genres, I guess, and then you feed them into an artificial intelligence, and we’ll talk about what that is later, and then it spits out these delightfully whimsical outputs. It takes inspiration from the data set that it’s given. I have a sustained history of laughing inappropriately loudly on public transport while reading your blog because the results are always so entertaining. Gretchen, do you have a favourite to share with us so I can chortle inappropriately?

Gretchen: Lauren, I think we should start with ice cream because I know you have a deep and abiding love of ice cream, and Janelle has come up with ice cream flavours.

Lauren: Yes! Yes, yes, yes. Janelle, where did the ice cream data come from? Did you have a list of ice cream flavours that someone gave you or…?

Janelle: Yeah. In this case, it was a group of middle-schoolers, actually. There’s a school in Austin, Texas, called Kealing Middle School where there is a group of students in the coding classes who decided that – they saw my blog. They wanted to do it too, and they wanted to generate ice cream flavours.

Lauren: Aww.

Gretchen: That’s so great!

Janelle: The thing is, I had looked at that, and I’m like, “Oh, this would be cool.” Then, I looked online and I say, “I need examples of existing ice cream flavours” because the A.I. has to have something to imitate. It doesn’t know about ice cream flavours unless I have some to tell it about. They’re scattered around. There wasn’t any big master list of them. So, I kinda said, “Oh, well. I guess that’s not gonna work.” Then, these middle-schoolers kicked my butt because they went and there was, I dunno, dozens of them – 50, 60 of them. Like, a lot of them. Each of them went and collected a few from this site or that site. Each one site would only have a few at a time. They had to manually copy and paste to this data set. They just, through the sheer numbers and having the time to do it, they put together this amazing data set of existing ice cream flavours. These middle-schoolers ended up getting about 1600 different ice cream flavours. Whereas, I only managed to get together 200. With the data set that much bigger, it made a huge difference. They started generating pretty amusing flavours.

Gretchen: I’ve got the blogpost up about the ice cream flavours from the middle school students, and some of them are really good. There are these whimsical flavours like “It’s Sunday” and “Cherry Poet” and “Brittle Cheesecake” and “Honey Vanilla Happy.” These seem like kind of reasonable ice cream flavours, right?

Lauren: I’d be open to ordering a “Vanilla Nettle.”

Gretchen: “Cherry Cherry Cherry.” If you like cherries, this is the flavour for you. There are also some weirder flavours from this data set like, “Chocolate Finger” and “Caramel Book” and –

Lauren: “Washing Chocolate.”

Gretchen: “Texas Charlie Covered Stunt.” Then, there’s this even weirder category, “Nuts with Mattery,” “Brown Crunch,” “Cookies and Green.”

Lauren: Aww, so close, and yet…

Gretchen: “Mango Cats.”

Lauren: They’re weird to us because of the semantics of them – just to be linguist-y and spoil the moment for a second – but they still are English words, or they look like something we’d recognise as English words, even though I don’t think “mattery” is a word that I know of. I think it’s worth saying artificial intelligence doesn’t know what ice cream is, right, it’s just using this list of flavours to figure out what kind of patterns could fit into that list.

Janelle: Exactly. It’s doing it at a very basic level. Like, what kinds of letters tend to come after other letters? What letters are we often finding in combination? Which letters are we never finding in combination? It’ll learn frequent words like “chocolate” or something. It’ll learn how to spell that after some false starts during training, but, yeah, without any concept of what chocolate is.

Gretchen: If it ends up with something like “Vervette’s Caramel Borfle,” it learned “caramel” but who “Vervette” and “borfle” are, I don’t know. That’s just randomly combining some letters in ways that are probable as English words.

Janelle: Yeah, it’s like a kid who learns how to write and immediately starts putting down letters on paper like, “Is this a word? Is this a word? How do you pronounce this?”

Lauren: Because obviously we train the neural nets that are children’s brains by talking to them a lot and giving them more input and taking them to school and doing those kind of things, but a neural net-type artificial intelligence that we’re doing this kind of training by giving it lots of data, how does it know if it is generating something that is more or less English? Is there a little thing in the computer saying, “Good work, Computer”?

Janelle: What it’s trying to do, how it knows it’s making any progress at all, is its job is to try and predict the next letter or the next combination of letters. Then, it just checks its prediction against some example of real texts that it hasn’t seen before that it saved aside to check itself with and said, “Okay, did I guess close or am I still way off? Am I going to have to change my internal structure so that my guess would’ve been better and see if, going forward, that’s gonna be an improvement?” It’s like a trial and error, guess and check.

Gretchen: When you look at the different sorts of stages – because it goes through several different generations, right? It might start out with just “Here’s a bunch of Es because E is really common.” And then the check is like, “Yeah, but you could do better.”

Janelle: Yeah. It’s like guessing lots of Es is more correct than guessing lots of question marks or lots of Qs. Yeah, it has to say, “Oh, well, maybe I could work in an S from time to time. What do you know? That’s slightly more correct,” and proceeds from there.

Lauren: So, that’s how it learns “chocolate”? Because it might go in with CH and HC, and every time it goes, “Is HC right? Is HC right?” And the data set is like, “Naw, not really.” But when it’s got the CH for an ice cream list, it’s like, getting lots of positive feedback that that’s gonna appear in “chocolate” and “chip” and “cherry.”

Janelle: Yeah, exactly. The process, yeah, it is a lot different from the human child learning language because it’s taking place, really, in isolation with no other context. It’s as if you are setting somebody in a room with just a few dictionaries or a few encyclopaedias written in a language that they don’t understand. It’s even harder for the A.I. because it doesn’t have a concept of what language even is to start out with. It’s all just guessing what comes next in this sequence of arcane symbols.

Gretchen: It doesn’t have a sense of what’s probable in the world either, right?

Janelle: Yeah.

Gretchen: Because you have some of these flavours like “Peanut Butter Slime,” which those are all English words, it’s just it would make a terrible ice cream because slime and peanut butter and ice cream are not things that go together.

Janelle: Yeah, exactly. Or, if I’m getting it to generate Halloween costumes, it’ll come up with “zombie school bus.” It’s like, “Okay, zombie school bus. There’s magic school bus. Why is that more likely than zombie school bus?” We know. It doesn’t.

Gretchen: It doesn’t have any of that real-world knowledge that you can do – or like “Mango Cats.” What does it mean for a cat to be mango? I don’t know.

Lauren: If an artificial intelligence gained sentience, it’s likely it actually wouldn’t be a very good linguistics student because it doesn’t really understand the concept of sounds. It doesn’t seem to have a lot of understanding of the structure of a sentence. We talk in one episode about syntax essentially being this structure that we can hang other bits of sentences off. It has much more of a flat, just looking at the patterns on the surface kind of approach to language.

Janelle: Yeah. Keep in mind, too, the amount of computing power it has to work with is so much less than what it takes for sentience or anything near human level. If you’re looking at raw computing power, the neural nets we have today are somewhere around the level of an earthworm.

Gretchen: Maybe an earthworm would like peanut butter slime-flavoured ice cream.

Janelle: I’ll give all my Peanut Butter Slime to the earthworm.

Lauren: That’s very generous of you.

Gretchen: This was one of the analogies that I liked in your book, which I enjoyed very much. You Look Like a Thing and I Love You – the title of this book was named after another neural net, right?

Janelle: Mm-hmm. This was a phrase generated from a neutral net that was trying to do pick-up lines.

Gretchen: I guess that could be a pick-up line.

Lauren: We have things like ice cream names, and you’ve done death metal names, and Halloween costumes, and colours, and these are all three or four words at most. Pick-up lines is moving into more of the sentence/couple of sentences-type of thing. As the amount of words you’re trying to generate grows longer, how much more difficult does that make it for the artificial intelligence?

Janelle: It makes it a lot more difficult. When I was generating the ice cream flavours and things, I was deliberately going exclusively for these kinds of problems where it would just have to do a couple words at a time because when it tried to do longer sentences or phrases, it would not make sense. One of the things is that the A.I. I was working with at the time didn’t have very much memory at all. So, it would kind of lose track of things that happened a couple of words ago. It wasn’t really able to figure out then how to make a sentence work or make phrases work. It was a bit beyond it. The pick-up lines was definitely a case of, “This is too hard for the A.I.” It struggles, okay, not just the “How do you make a grammatical phrase?” but also “How do you do puns? How do you do innuendo?” These were all things that require a lot of background knowledge that this thing just did not have.

Gretchen: Another example that you use in the book is with recipes, right? It can figure out that you need to list some ingredients, you need to list some instructions, but then those instructions won’t contain the ingredients that were previously mentioned, necessarily, because it doesn’t remember that those are what it listed before.

Janelle: Yeah, we’ll see that. You’ll get something that on the surface at first glance looks like a recipe and then, when you actually read more closely, you’re like, “Wait a second. It has no idea what’s going on. It’s forgotten its ingredients. It’s telling me to chop the milk into cubes. Something’s going on here.”

Lauren: There’s something very confident about the way it fakes its ability.

Janelle: Yeah. Well, I mean, part of the reason it sounds so confident is that it’s copying what humans have written, and humans generally didn’t tend to write in the middle of a recipe, “Uhh, wait a second. I have no idea what’s going on.” It learns that is not a phrase that appears in a recipe, so it’s going to express any kind of confusion. It’s just going to plough ahead with its best guess at what a human would say.

Gretchen: This is where, I think, your famous giraffe question comes from.

Janelle: Ah, yes. I love this chatbot. It’s a chatbot called Visual Chatbot. It’s designed to answer questions about an image. You show it an image and then it comes up with a caption, and then you can have this back and forth conversation with the bot about what it sees in the image. You think that premise would be fairly straightforward, but there are weird quirks that arise just because this thing is trying to copy how humans ask and answer questions about images. The training data is important. In this case, the training data is a whole bunch of people hired through Amazon Mechanical Turk to take turns asking and answering questions about images. Then, the chatbot was trained on answers. So, given this kind of image, given what the question is, what would humans tend to answer in this situation? Some weird quirks emerge just from that premise. One of the things that they wanted to make sure to avoid was this thing called priming. People tend to ask questions to which the answer tends to be “yes.” They found in an early version of this chatbot that they could get 80% accuracy just by answering “yes” to every single yes-or-no question.

Gretchen: Uh-oh!

Janelle: They ended up having to hide the image from the person who was asking questions, so that helped a little bit. Now, it’s about 50/50 if you ask a given question whether it’s going to answer yes or no to that. One of the things that they weren’t able to correct was this interesting thing with the giraffes. What happens is, if you ask the question, “How many giraffes do you see?” the chatbot will almost always return a non-zero answer. It can be doing great about an image and, “Oh, yeah. This is a person on a snowboard. There’s snow,” up until the point where you ask, “And how many giraffes are there?” It will answer, “Three” or “Two” or “Too many to count.”

Lauren: I think it’s just worth clarifying, just to really make this clear, this is not a data set in which giraffes appear in every image.

Janelle: True. Yes. I would love to see that data set – snowboarding with giraffes.

Lauren: “Yeah, there are three giraffes.”

Gretchen: Giraffe snowboarders – this is possible. Because I know this is an ongoing joke that you have, I tested with an image of the cover of my book which, as I think as everyone knows, contains zero giraffes because it’s not about giraffes. Visual chatbot told me that it is a sign that says, “Unknown, unknown, unknown,” on the side of it which I guess is not the worst for a cover that has text in it. It just can’t read the text – sure. Then, I said, “How many giraffes?” and Visual Chatbot said, “Two.”

Janelle: It comes from this thing is copying how humans tend to answer this question. In its examples of humans hired through Amazon Mechanical Turk, the humans had not tended to ask the question, “How many giraffes are there?” when they didn’t know if there were any giraffes.

Gretchen: Right. You’d say something like, “Are there any giraffes?” The person says, “Yes,” and then you say, “How many giraffes?”

Janelle: Exactly. If you ask the chatbot, “Are there any giraffes?” it will answer, “No,” quite often. But then, if you follow up with the question, “And how many giraffes do you see?” it’ll say, “Five.”

Lauren: This approach reminds me of, as Gretchen said earlier, as soon as I get my hands on some kind of thing that’s doing this back and forth question asking or as soon as I’m let loose on a Google Translate, I think it’s a very linguist-brain thing to try and find these points at which the computer can’t handle language properly. It’s always great when you have an approach that understands how humans actually interact with this data that helps explain why you end up getting these really strange answers and why it’s good to have linguists help design artificial intelligence or chatbots and these things because the way humans choose to do language is very different to what we think of as the nice, straightforward application at the end.

Janelle: There’s so many start-ups that are trying to have some kind of bot that you can interact with in an open-ended manner. Then, they run into trouble. Facebook M is one of these services that was discontinued last year because they thought it was going to be like a digital assistant, lives in your browser, you can ask it to do things like look up show times and stuff. But what people ended up asking for was the weirdest, most complicated things. One guy documented, oh yeah, he asked it if it could arrange for a parrot to visit his office. I mean, you’re not gonna prepare for that when you’re training one of these chatbots. It turned out to be the chatbot kept needing humans to step in and rescue it. They realised it was going to be too expense because they were always gonna need these humans.

Lauren: This is a company that has no shortage of resources to throw at a problem like this.

Gretchen: I think if you tell people, “You can interact with this like a human,” they think they can do things like make a request for parrots because humans can understand a request for parrots. Even if I can’t personally deliver you a parrot, at least I understand this request. Whereas, a chatbot, if parrots aren’t in the training data, then parrots don’t exist.

Janelle: This is one of the things, too, that makes it hard to tell the difference between humans and computers when you’re chatting with them. If you’re in a customer service situation, they try to really narrow the context in which you can ask questions and not make it open-ended, especially if they’re going to invisibly use bots because they don’t want you asking for parrots out of the blue.

Gretchen: Right. It’s like when you call into a customer service line, it’s like, “Press 1 to talk to this,” “Press 2 to talk to that,” they really wanna keep your options constrained because then the computer can help you. It’s when it’s open-ended and people start behaving as if it can do anything that a human can do that you start running into problems.

Janelle: Yeah. What you’ll get is you’ll get these companies that’ll build chatbots where it’ll start out as an open-end conversation with something that is secretly a bot but it hasn’t said it is. But then if it gets confused, it’ll invisibly hand control over to a human. That can be problematic because then, if the customer by then is frustrated and thinks they’re dealing with a robot, the poor human employee may not have a very pleasant time with that conversation. What I would really love – what I would love linguists to design for me – is some kind of very polite, in-context way to ask a question or interact with one of these bots that would reveal whether it is a human or a computer, some kind of shibboleth that is never – not asking about his favourite Star Wars character, because that’s impolite if you’re talking to a human employee – but some phrasing or something that’s tricky.

Gretchen: That’s an interesting question because I think, a lot of times, asking for something that’s a little bit non-cooperative, like “How many giraffes?” out of the blue, is maybe gonna deliver that answer. But it’s also gonna be confusing and annoying to a human.

Janelle: Exactly. My default has always been, as soon as a human – because better be polite to a computer than rude to a human sort of thing – but it would be lovely to be able to tell the difference. Companies should just tell us or have a “Talk to a human” button or something, but yeah.

Gretchen: You’re looking for an inverse Turing Test. A Turing Test is this classic test in computer conversation where, if a computer can fool a human into thinking that they’re talking to another human, then they’ve passed the Turing Test. There are ways of passing the Turing Test if you constrain the context enough. Or if you tell people that they’re talking to a child or they’re talking to somebody who’s on some drugs or something like this – or a philosopher – then they’ll be more likely to believe – these are the three kinds of people that a robot can be. But if you try to do something that’s very practical or that is grounded very much in reality, then people aren’t as willing to be generous with the computer’s misinterpretations. Janelle, your blog post that you make the neural nets do funny things, they’re really funny. And yet, I have a feeling that it’s not only that the neural nets are funny, it’s also that you’re really good at spotting the funny bits and bringing them out to a blog post for us.

Janelle: Yeah, there’s a lot of human storytelling work that goes on. How is this going to be interesting? Where is the funny thing that it’s doing? Sometimes, the ratio is like 100 to 1 of things that aren’t very funny that it generates and the one thing that I’m like, “Oh, yeah. I’m posting that.”

Lauren: Because, I guess, the thing about it being a computer process is that you could just generate infinite numbers of nonsensical ice cream names, but a lot of those are too nonsensical to even be particularly amusing.

Janelle: Yeah. It also has a tendency to – especially if we’re dealing with something short-ish and simple-ish like ice cream, then it’ll generate something and it says, “Mint Chocolate Chip,” and I’m like, “Oh. It just copied that.” It learned that one.

Lauren: Learnt that one too well.

Janelle: Yeah. Because as far as these A.I.s are concerned, exactly copying my examples is a perfect solution to the question I’m asking of it. If it can predict every single word, word for word, in the text file that I gave it, then that is a perfect score. Sometimes, it’s almost like a battle for me to try to get it to be just bad enough at the task.

Gretchen: Not so bad that it’s incoherent, but bad enough that humans can resolve what it’s supposed to mean and it’s still funny.

Lauren: One application of this name-generation process you’ve been doing was when you created a list of craft beer names and a company actually took one of those names to create a beer. Was that a process that you embarked on because you thought this was a good place to experiment with creative naming or how did that come about?

Janelle: This was one of the things where I happened to know somebody who was friends with the owner of the brewery, and I thought, “Well, this would be fun to actually get one of these beers to exist in real life,” because people keep saying that the names A.I.s are generating are pretty good. In the case of craft beer names, there’ve actually been companies who have taken each other to court over having beer names that were too close to one another. There’s this need to maybe show there’re ways to still come up with new beer names and we hadn’t exhausted all the possibilities yet.

Lauren: It’s really a collaboration between you and the A.I. where you are curating all of the names that it gives you in order to find the ones that have that perfect balance of following the rules you’ve given it but with a bit of a lateral thinking approach.

Janelle: Yeah. Just the right amount of lateral thinking as well, too. Sometimes, it’s way off the mark and comes up with, I don’t know, “Farm Fight,” as a name for beer. I’m like, “Well…”

Gretchen: Here are some of the beer names that were on the list like “Dang River” and “Binglezard Flack” and “Toe Deal” and “Devil’s Chard.”

Lauren: Some of them I can almost imagine being a craft beer. In the end, it was “The Fine Stranger” that was bottled and labelled.

Gretchen: That’s good. I think the examples are very funny, but there’s also an important part of making a lot of funny examples, right? It’s not just to entertain people, even though it is very entertaining.

Janelle: There’s people using these practically as their business in coming up with brand names. I did this one beer. There’s a whole art to naming brands, and it’s not just coming up with the names, but it’s also this whole framing of “Because of the etymology of this and that” or “Because the computer mashed this together with that.” There’s definitely a storytelling element to it as well. When I was going through this process with the beer, I was definitely getting the sense of, “Oh, yeah. I’ve got all these great names.” Any – not any one of these – but many of them would make great beer names, and the beer would sell well, and the brewery would be happy with it. But, yeah, how do I put it on the marquee, put it on the silver platter and make them actually say, “Yes. The authority has spoken. This is the name.”

Gretchen: Beyond brand names, there’re also lots of other practical applications people are using artificial intelligence for now, whether that’s machine translation or self-driving cars or all of these sorts of very practical aspects to things. It’s hard to see the inside of a self-driving car, and what that looks like, and how it’s making problems for things. Whereas, it’s easier to see what happens when you make a bunch of weird ice cream flavours.

Janelle: Exactly. That’s why I like doing these tests. Some of the biggest applications for A.I. is in doing financial predictions or looking for fraudulent logins and things like that where it, maybe, is comprehensible to somebody who’s in that field, but the way that they’re making mistakes in that field is not very obvious, not very interesting, if you’re not right there in that field working with these kinds of numbers all the time. If it’s making a mistake on an ice cream flavour, that is much faster to see, “Oh, yeah, it’s doing pattern matching. Oh, yeah, it doesn’t understand what it’s doing.” A lot of these same mistakes really do translate over to commercial applications.

Lauren: We’ve talked a little bit about how you have to curate the output because it will just keep spitting out silly ice cream names forever. We’ve talked a little bit about some of the problems with the types of data that are put into these processes in terms of, you know, if you don’t set it up very well and you have people answering questions about giraffes in a way that the A.I. is going to implement weirdly. There are bigger and more serious implications for thinking about the kind of data that we are using to create artificial intelligence processes not just with language but particularly for this topic looking at the kinds of data that people use to build artificial intelligence. You talk about this a bit in your book. Where do you see some of the biggest challenges in creating good A.I.?

Janelle: One of the things is, remember these A.I.s have about the raw computing power of an earthworm and they don’t have the context, then, to realise that there are some things that the humans do that they probably shouldn’t be copying. Completely unknowingly, they will copy things like racial/gender discrimination and they won’t know that that’s what they’re doing. They won’t know that that’s a bad thing. They just really can’t comprehend it.

Gretchen: It’s kind of like the chatbot that figures, “Oh, if I just answer yes to everything, I’ll get 80% accuracy,” even though it’s not actually useful, communicatively, to just answer yes to everything.

Janelle: It’s like this is exactly what you have asked for but is not necessarily what you want. When we give it a bunch of human decisions on resume sorting, for example, and we tell it, “Copy these human decisions,” then these algorithms can look and say, “Well, this is a very difficult problem, but looks like all of the applicants who’ve gone to this one college tend not to be hired” and “Oh, that college is a women’s college” and it is implementing the gender discrimination that it’s seeing in its training data because it saw this signal, didn’t know what it was, only knew that it was helping it copy the humans a little better.

Gretchen: Right. If the humans are already having their sets of bias and if I can magnify that bias, like if you have a human that’s answering “yes” 80% and now the A.I.’s answering “yes” 100% of the time, it doesn’t know what it’s doing.

Janelle: Exactly. Yeah. They are so good about being sneaky about – you may think that if you set up a resume sorting algorithm saying, “Well, we’re just not gonna tell it what gender any of these applicants are” and it is very good at figuring this out not just through colleges but through if somebody has their extra-curriculars listed and “women’s soccer team” is on there, it will glom onto that. Or even subtleties with word choice and phrasing, it will start using those kinds of trends and use them to copy the humans better.

Gretchen: I’m thinking about a different resume study which showed that people – they had the same sorts of resumes – people with a white-sounding name versus with a black-sounding name were more likely to get called back for interviews. You can imagine in the A.I. that it actually just learns how to predict based on someone’s name. Like, “Oh, we’ve hired a lot of people named ‘Mike’ at this company.” We all know these companies that have a whole bunch of people named “Mike” and “Adam” and stuff. “Maybe we should just only interview the people named ‘Mike.’”

Janelle: It will absolutely do that sort of thing. You see there’s a lot of companies out there that are offering resume screening but knowing what I know about how commonly these A.I.s can pick up on this bias I would not want one of these programs screening resumes for my company, for example. Or I would, at the very least, demand to see the evidence that this thing is not making biased decisions.

Gretchen: Right. That’s a sort of way of saying, “Okay, well, if this A.I. still thinks ‘Slime’ is a good flavour for ice cream, then really how much can we trust it to make a good decision about resumes?”

Janelle: I think that’s almost the counter-intuitive danger about A.I. in a lot of ways. It’s not that it’s too smart and it’s going to take over the world and it’s not gonna obey humans – no. The problem is that it’s not smart enough to realise what we’re actually trying to ask it to do.

Lauren: It keeps obeying us too well in ways that we don’t want it to.

Janelle: Yeah, if it can. When it comes to language generation, language processing, human language is really, really difficult. So, that particular domain, more than a lot of others, you’ll see these A.I.s that are really struggling to get a handle on what the humans are saying.

Lauren: It’s good news that linguists will have jobs for a little bit longer.

Janelle: Yeah.

Gretchen: One of the questions that really came up in my mind when we were thinking about interviewing you was, can the A.I. take my job as the co-host of the podcast, Lingthusiasm? If Lauren and I want to go live on a beach somewhere, can we replace, as co-hosts, a bot-generated Gretchen and Lauren to run this podcast? Lauren, what do you think?

Lauren: We actually put this to Janelle a few years ago, back when we started releasing transcripts for our early episodes. About three years ago, in 2016/2017, we didn’t have many episodes, so we didn’t have a lot of data to work with, but also it seems like in these last few years, the ability to process larger text has gotten better. Is that the case, Janelle?

Janelle: Yeah, that’s definitely the case. The kinds of things I was doing in 2016 – generating words, short phrases, paint colour names, ice cream flavour names, those sorts of things – I wouldn’t think of tackling entire sentences or, let alone, sentences that follow one another that make sense. But now, just pretty much in the last year, there’s been some really big A.I.s that have been trained on millions of pages from the internet. They are much better at generating text. They can generate grammatical sentences most of the time now. Most of the words that they use are real words. They still don’t understand what they’re saying. I think, yeah, it has gotten better.

Gretchen: You can potentially take something that’s been trained on, let’s say, most of the English pages of the internet and then fine-tune it on a smaller data set to try to push it more in the direction of just, for a random example, Lingthusiasm episodes.

Janelle: Yes. If, hypothetically, I had many episodes worth of Lingthusiasm transcripts, I might be able to make a robo-Gretchen and a robo-Lauren.

Lauren: Do you know what else has happened in the last couple of years, Gretchen?

Gretchen: I think we’ve produced a lot more episodes of Lingthusiasm.

Lauren: Between the main episodes and the bonus episodes, we have 70 transcripts, which is over 800 pages of data. Janelle, would that be enough to have a go at creating a robo-Gretchen and a robo-Lauren?

Janelle: There’s one way to find out.

Gretchen: Oh, boy! Let’s do some live neural netting on the podcast.

Janelle: All right! What could possibly go wrong?

Gretchen: Okay. Can you walk us through what are you doing right now on your computer?

Lauren: Janelle’s gonna share her computer with us so that we can see what’s happening, but we might get some screen grabs as we go through.

Gretchen: We may put some links into the show notes if there’s stuff that’s visual that’s hard to see as well.

Janelle: What we’re looking at right now, this is actually just a browser window in Chrome. What I’m looking at is a thing that is an interface to an A.I. that’s being hosted on Google’s computers right now. Google is graciously allowing people to use their powerful computers that are pretty specialised for these kinds of calculations. Even though I am working on a fairly ordinary laptop, I’m able to connect to some fairly serious firepower here.

Lauren: It’s really interesting to get to see under the hood of making an A.I. run. I think we’ll give people a bit of a taste of that here, but if you want more details and more of an explanation of how we made “Robot Lingthusiasm,” we’ll make that into a bonus episode.

Janelle: So, here we are. I’ve connected to this A.I. I’ve downloaded a copy of it. Now, I’m going to upload lingthusiasm.txt. I’m going to upload this file of 2.4MB of you two talking. Let’s – okay. Okay. We’ve got our first sample out here right now. “It is already conversations.”

Lauren: Except it’s just conversation by someone called “Gina.”

Gretchen: Maybe this is the hybrid between the two of us – our merged alter-ego? Shall we read a few of these lines, Lauren? I think we should each start with “Gina” as we’re reading the lines.

Lauren: Okay.

Gretchen: First line. This is the first of Gina’s lines. “Gina: Yeah, that’s why I’m gonna be honest with you.”

Lauren: “Gina: We’re not always going to be like, ‘Oh, we don’t know why we did that.’ That’s why.”

Gretchen: “Gina: I know. The people who’ve come to me to ask me are gonna be like, “Yeah, I didn’t know who was getting up and down the stairs and going to a doctor’s appointment.”

Lauren: Okay. So, not very Lingthusiasm in content there, but I like where Gina’s going.

Gretchen: Yeah. I like that it’s getting a dialogue thing. We’re pleased to announce that, in fact, your Lingthusiasm hosts will be replaced by robots but only for one episode and it will be bonus and it will be very, very funny. You can go to patreon.com/lingthusiasm to listen to the next bonus episode, which will be written by robots and performed by you and me, Lauren.

Lauren: To listen to that bonus episode, check out patreon.com/lingthusiasm. You can hear us reading some of our favourite examples. We will also give patrons access to some of those reams of examples so you can find ones that make you chortle as well. It’ll have some screenshots from the A.I.-building process for patrons as well. Thank you so much, Janelle, for taking us through the process of actually training a neural net artificial intelligence and showing us some of the pitfalls and some of the challenges and for talking to us today. If people want to read more about how artificial intelligence is making the world weirder and more wonderful, and some of the challenges and limitations, your book is You Look Like a Thing and I Love You. I loved reading it.

Gretchen: Yes, I can personally attest that I got my copy the night before my book came out when I was very distracted. It successfully distracted me for several hours while I was waiting for that countdown, midnight, to have that happen. It has lots of fun pictures of weird things that the A.I.s are doing as well. Thanks again for coming on the show.

Janelle: Oh, it was my pleasure. This was a lot of fun. I loved listening to your very strange generated conversations.

[Music]

Gretchen: For more Lingthusiasm and links to all the things mentioned in this episode, including extended versions of A.I.-generated Lingthusiasm transcripts, go to lingthusiasm.com. You can listen to us on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, SoundCloud, or wherever else you get your podcasts, and you can follow @Lingthusiasm on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Tumblr. You can get IPA scarves, IPA ties, IPA socks, and other Lingthusiasm merch at lingthusiasm.com/merch. I can be found as @GretchenAMcC on Twitter, my blog is AllThingsLinguistic.com, and my book about internet language is called Because Internet.

Lauren: I tweet and blog as Superlinguo. Janelle Shane is @JanelleCShane on Twitter, her blog is aiweirdness.com, and her book is You Look Like a Thing and I Love You. To listen to bonus episodes and help keep the show ad-free, go to patreon.com/lingthusiasm or follow the links from our website. Recent bonus topics include future English, onomatopoeia, and linguistics fiction. If you can’t afford to pledge, that’s okay too. We really appreciate it if you could recommend Lingthusiasm to anyone who needs a little more linguistics in their life.

Gretchen: Lingthusiasm is created and produced by Gretchen McCulloch and Lauren Gawne. Our senior producer to Claire Gawne, and our editorial producer is Sarah Dopierala, and our music is “Ancient City” by The Triangles.

Janelle: Stay lingthusiastic!

[Music]

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