#cuz this whole time my parents have been taking care of the dogs i have been wracked with guilt | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

misteria247 · 1 year

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Some random bullshit about Leo from the 12 series having a dog(s) cuz again it's on my mind and the guy really deserves something nice for once:

It was April's idea to get Leo a canine companion. After seeing how much her friend and brother was really struggling with things and seeing how Raph, Donnie and Mikey had little companions to help them out she'd decided to do some research on possible animals that could help Leo out. She of course told the boys about her plans and they were completely on board wanting Leo to have something to help him as well.

It'd taken a bit of time, there were many different shelters and local breeders in NYC and with the help of Casey, April and him would go and visit the places to see if they were what they were looking for. While they did this, Raph, Donnie and Mikey sneakily made the lair a bit more pet proof, using the excuse of Chompy starting to get a bit bigger to avert Leo's suspensions. They also did some research on getting the dog to be trained for therapy as to help their older brother with his emotional, mental and physical state. Donnie ended up starting a small anonymous business to fix broken down things for money and Raph started to sell a bit of his artwork online to help out in the financial department for the future therapy training sessions that the dog would need to go through.

It took a lot of work and a lot of time but the group finally managed to get things in place and find good sources for the things they needed. April and Casey enrolled in the training sessions due to the turtles being unable to go out in society and Donnie took down notes and tips to help out in the therapy training. They ended up finding two possible breeds of puppies that they could go with, one being a larger breed while the other was a smaller breed. A lot of debates were thrown around as to which one would be better for Leo. Ranging from the larger breed which would get their older brother to exercise his knee and arm to the smaller breed being a good cuddling support and give their older brother something to dot on with his parental affection. In the end they ended up getting two puppies from both sides.

The day that Leo had met his new companions was close to their mutation day. The lair was filled with their family such as Mona Lisa, Karai and Shinigami, who had already been alerted about the gang's plan. Leo was sitting on one of the sofas, talking to Karai while Raph and Casey went to get the pups. Soon gifts were passed out to one another and it was then that April taking the lead explained one gift was from her and Casey while the other was from Raph, Donnie and Mikey. It was with that que that the two boys came out holding the two adorable puppies and earning cheers of Surprise Leo from the others.

To say Leo was shocked would be an understatement.

At first Leo was worried and a bit apprehensive about the whole thing. After all one dog was a lot of work but two? He had no idea how he was going to do this, especially with the financial aspect (which he later found out that his two brothers had already had that covered and planned out ahead of time). But one look at the two sweet pups and getting a few wagging tails and kisses, the eldest gave in and caved pretty quickly into getting on board with it.

Afterwards Leo basically became wrapped around these canines paws. He spoiled them both with love and affection, putting his all into taking care of them as they grew. He did everything that he was told by April, Casey and Donnie about the training (to which he got a bit teary eyed when he realized that they all really put a lot of thought into this whole thing) and the results of having them around really began to show on the oldest Hamato.

Leo became a bit more energetic than he had been, the once somewhat weighed down vibe he usually carried with him became a bit more lightened as he bonded with his dogs. He began to smile a little more and relaxed a bit more than he used to. While it obviously didn't fix everything it was quite clear that April's idea had a positive effect on the blue clad leader and it made his brothers more than relieved to see it. Seeing their big brother and clan leader look more like his older self than the tired, exhausted person he'd become over the years really lifted Raph, Donnie and Mikey's spirits.

Mikey ends up hoisting playdates for the pups to get used to the other animals in the lair. Ice Cream Kitty at first is a bit on edge however she got used to them fairly quickly and tolerated their presence. Chompy on the other hand adored them. Growing a bit more than he original size, the alien turtle found amazing playmates in the pups, especially the smaller one. Mikey's taken several pictures of these playdates and has shared the pics with Leo, Raph, Donnie, April and Casey who all had their hearts melt at them.

As time goes on and the dogs begin to grow and get better at their therapy training it becomes quite clear that they've grown protective over their owner and his family. The larger dog will let out loud warning barks if it hears something in the sewers coming closer to the lair and the smaller dog will place itself on Leo's lap whenever there's company over or strangers, ready to nip if they posed a possible threat to him.

And when Leo has one of those days, the kind where he can't sleep due to his nightmares or when his knee becomes unbearable in the pain spectrum or his vocal chords make it hard for him to talk, his dogs will stick close to him, sensing his distress. They'll lay their heads on his lap, or snuggle close to him and just lay there next to him. Offering emotional support as they were trained to do. Leo will often times begin to mindlessly pet their heads, scratching behind their ears and just focusing on them instead of the things that are currently making it harder for him to function. It's a welcomed change to him and he begins to understand why his brothers went to their respective companies for emotional support.

All in all Leo's life gets a bit easier with the two dogs helping him out and his family are thrilled that their planning had managed to give him a positive boost and a good outlet for their favorite dork of a leader.

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avianreptiles · 24 days

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I realized i actually dont know much about kenny, so if you want you can take this as a prompt to talk about him cuz he intrigues me....

This is not a place of honor

Okay so this is the general summary of his bullshit. I have a lore doc on the way. The lore doc goes soooo much into more detail on particular events and especially more on the reasoning and psychology of the actions in the story. The whole story itself is insane and gruesome and horrible, but i singled out on Kendrick cuz he's the most interesting in my opinion and I don't like him.

If you are waiting for the lore doc, I applaud your patience. It's coming, I swear.

Tw for talks of death, brief mentions of gore, suicide, main character deaths, politics, drugs, alcoholism, whatever. There is no happy endings in the shay/avian cinematic universe yadda yadda yadda okay

OKAY so Kendrick Poste was a transgender man born in 2098 in the right-winged, one-party dominant "democracy", the United States of Albany, to his parents, Mac and Haisley Poste. Mac and Haisley were both left-leaning and tried to raise him away from being rightwinged, but Kendrick ended up growing up not caring that much for politics. Anyways important bit, THEY WERE GOOD PARENTS. Haisley was a wonderful woman. Mac cared deeply for his son. Kendrick was When Kendrick was 12, the three of them got into a car wreck by a drunk driver, with Haisley passing away rather gruesomely, with the nature of the direction that the car hit. Namely, a good chunk of Haisley's lower and mid face had been ripped off by the carnage of the passenger door. Kendrick saw this in full view. It is very important to know that Kendrick saw this.

Kendrick and Mac are neverrrrrr the same after this. Like at all. Kendrick ends up recovering enough mentally after a couple of years and graduates high school early, applying for and getting into college at 16. The first half of the year goes by without a breeze. The second half of the year rolls by, and Kendrick falls like Icarus, got a little too close to the sun, a little too confident. After he lost all the drive to finish school, he started taking up smoking and ended up becoming "friends" with the guy that deals him weed, Percival. I can write so much on how Percival sucks but instead, I'm gonna write about how Kendrick is worse. So this guy manipulated and threatened anyone and everyone to his benefit, including his ex-girlfriend and his father. He was just some egotistical, jackass kid who got caught up gang violence and drug deals who took advantage of the people around him to make a name for himself in almost every circle of the city he lived in. He was known for just about one thing, though: Percival's big scary personal guard dog. He was a violent and often times cruel kid, cementing himself as one of the morr dangerous people to butt heads with AT FUCKING 16.

Anyways I am skipping a lot of important info but the day he turned 17, he got drafted into the war that Albany was in at the time, the Massachusetts/Albany war. The draft was basically a death sentence, as kids who got shipped off to war tended to not come back at all. For what he thought was going to be his last three weeks on earth until he had to go to the selective service office, he proceeded to let himself go almost entirely. Specific events? Threatened to kill Percival a couple times, did cocaine off of a hooker's leg at a party he went to, broke someone's wrist, and drank almost every other night. Mac at that point had given up on him, but their last conversation was when he was dropping him off at the service office, where Kendrick told him to go to hell. Anyways that was fucked up. What's up next is worse

Being drafted sucked dick. He was already pretty damn fit, and the government determined he didn't really need any physical training, but he was still a rebellious, jackass kid, and that needed fixing. Recently in the war, more draftees were going awoll, so the govs solution? Deadend. Deadend was a compound/training facility that I once described as "not supposed to make you love your country, but to fear it." At Deadend, it was basically physical torture under the guise of "if you dissent from the army/go awoll, you will have wished that the enemy had flayed you alive, with the shit we're going to do to you". It was about 2 months of that. This compound is also the reason why a lot of Albany soldiers, especially in the later years of the war, were reported to have looked "empty" or "souless" in the eyes. You had to drop your morals at the door, cuz if you didn't do everything your superior told you to, you were getting shoved into the drywall.

After 2 months, he got put into a special little group called Great Lakes Special Forces. Now I'm going to summarize some of the shit that happened in GLSF in some sort of timeline, because so much happened in the period of about a year:

-Late July 2115, placed into group with four other members.

-Late August, 2115, first kill, a girl about his age

-December 2115, Kendrick (Huron 01) is ordered to kill Ontario 01, to which he complies out of fear.

-Later in December, Ontario 02 is assigned to the group, a reminder that anyone is replaceable.

-December 2115 to about July 2116, Kendrick, distraught about having to carry out Ontario 01's execution becomes more reserved and West (Superior 01), starts to place him on more solo missions. In a combination of unsupervised warfare, cruelty, bloodlust, guilt over Ontario's death, and what not, becomes the most dangerous man on the Eastern Seaboard. His existence becomes a boogeyman tale, with titles such as "Deerhead" and "the devil with white eyes" become tossed around while describing assassinations, killings, and what not that happen within his domain. West (technically his commanding officer) around this point realized that this would be her fatal flaw, letting Kendrick get too cocky.

-In late July 2116, he is sent on more cooperation missions, and actually talks to Ontario 02, the replacement for Ontario.

HEY THIS IS NOT DONE BTW. I POSTED IT TOO EARLY. IM JUST GONNA WORK ON THE LORE DOC FOR NOW

#avian speaks #avian ask tag #avian oc tag #oc: kendrick poste #oc: mac poste #oc: haisley poste #i call him by the gov name cuz i dont like him

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master-of-fluff · 1 year

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Bit of a rant

Istfg I just stepped in dog crap again because no one wants to train the dog or take it out long enough to crap or whatever it is that it needs and I'm so tired of it and so pissed both because of m poor sock and for the dog

Because I knew this would happen when my dumbass sister said she wanted a dog I freaking told my stupid parents not to get he damn dog.

she didn't take care of her rabbit and her guinea pigs so what in the hell made them think she'd take care of, train, and clean up after a dog?

Her? The same person who threw a crying screaming on the ground tantrum because my brother threw a damn 'party' in the same roblox server as her at the same time as her at fucking 11 years of age? The same intutled brat that throws a fit when asked to do any chores now at almost 13? And you thought this would be a good idea?

How can anyone be this stupid????

Oh and they wanna complain about her animal neglect now?

Where was this when she didnt wanna take care of the other pets anymore? Oh wait they probably didnt even notice because instead of being responsible parents and fixing the mistake of buying an animal for someone who wasnt ready for one like most parents would via taking the animal on as their own they just made their eldest, me, do it.

And i knew it was an especially bad idea since they didn't even bother to learn enough about those last three pets or this one, or any of our pets to know what they needed and then got sad when the dang rabbit and pigs died earlier then they should've even though i and my friend told them they need better cages and bedding but we were "just kids and they were adults so we didn't know better then them and what we were talking about" (wtf was my dad on when he said that he's literally never had a pet before cuz my grandma on that side is literally scared of animals)

And now that iv made it clear that I'm not going to be the one to do it again (I mean ofc ill take him out sometimes if asked I'm not gonna be cruel to the poor thing it didn't ask to be here anymore then I did but there's no way in fuck I'm gonna go out of my way to take care of it like I tried to with the others like iv been down this path quite a few times and I'm not going down it again) they have to deal with it and surprise, surprise! they like it just as much as raising their kids (barely tolerating it)

Istg I wanna give that dog to someone else that'll actually take care of it, hell even my sister wants to give it to someone that'll do a better job but my mom is like

"no we take time care of him fine and the toddlers are too attached to teddy it would hurt them" it'll hurt even more when we're all in the hospital for breathing in too much dog poop bacteria that's probably permanently imbedded into the carpet and then animal services or whatever take him by force since no one but me actually cleans it up and only if its in my room or a communal space like seriously I'm not cleaning it up if its in my brothers room istg that is as much my responsibility as the dog itself is my responsibility.

he should keep his door closed since he's lucky enough to both not have the dog's cage in his room and also have a door.

And you know what else? The easiest solution would be to fix the backyard fence and put in a doggy door - with a lock to keep the raccoons out ofc - but fat chance my dads gonna fix the fence or ask any of our family to do so, like literally you just have to fix the 2 gates not even the whole fence but that's apparently too hard so ig I'll have to figure that out myself after getting a job or whatever ffs

#tw vent #to be clear i dont hate teddy #or any of her past pets #im just annoyed to be the family that gets a bunch of pets and doesnt even bother to take care of them properly #this rant is a bit everywhere but yeah

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clonesupport · 1 year

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thank you @sstewyhosseini for tagging me to this little interview game! it was fun hehe

I'm sure this has gone around quite a bit already, I'm late to the party TwT so i tag anyone seeing this and hasn't done it yet and wants to!

finally finished with school and visiting my parents so i now have time😌😌 gonna do this with Marcy cuz she needs more content and she has been plaguing my mind

Name?

(smiling and confident) "Marceline Kelly."

Are you single?

(smugly) "Nope."

Are you happy?

"Depends on what we're talking about. My relationship? Absolutely. My career? Fuck yeah. Happy with the state of this world? That's a whole other story."

Are you angry?

"Sometimes, like doing jobs that goes dirty. But as of right now? Nah, I'm content."

Are your parents still married?

"Oof, if they were still alive I'd place my bets on yes they would be."

Birth place?

"Canada. Vancouver specifically. City 'o glass."

Hair color?

"Turquoise-blue. I'm naturally a dirty blonde though, hella dirty (laughs) almost looks like a light brown sometimes but I swear I was born a blonde."

Eye color?

"They were brown, I've got kiroshis now so platinum on black optics."

Birthday?

(laughs) "April 24th, you don't gotta know the year."

Mood?

"Sexy?"

Gender?

"Cis woman."

Summer or winter?

"Oo winters always and forever, I miss the snowy winters back home."

Morning or afternoon?

"Afternoon baby, that's when I get to have fun."

Day or night?

"Depends, days are nice because I get to spend them with Vik, relax and do whatever I want. Nights I get to perform and feel truly alive, I guess it all comes down to how I'm feeling that day."

=EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE=

Are you in love?

"Absolutely" (smiling endearingly)

Who ended your last relationship?

"Yeesh, I did, and helluva time that was."

Have you ever broken someone's heart?

"Maybe, I don't care to think about it though, it's all in the past now. Besides I don't got time for that, I have someone else in my life that deserves all my time and devotion. Why would I spend it thinking about how I did someone dirty? This is Night City, you're bound to get your heart broken, and a few bones too."

Are you afraid of commitments?

"I used to be, Vik changed that."

Have you hugged someone in the last week?

"Oh yeah lots, Viktor gets all my hugs, he acts like he doesn't have time for them but I know he likes them. Hugged him just ten minutes ago."

Have you ever had a secret admirer?

"In my line of work, I'm sure I've got tons. They can admire all they want, that's all they're ever gonna get, my heart belongs to someone else. (winks)"

Have you ever broken your own heart?

"Aw man, I didn't I ever let myself get too attached to anyone to get my heart broken in love. But through any other means? Definitely."

=SIX CHOICES=

Love or lust?

(smirking) "Why not both.~ Definitely both."

Lemonade or iced tea?

"Oh I love an iced tea."

Cats or dogs?

"I miss dogs, always wanted a bernese mountain dog. But I guess that one random stray cat is all we get now and I'll take any animal I can get, tired of people nowadays."

A few best friends or many regular friends?

"Hmm, well I got myself a best friend, I can't have more than one best friend or else that defeats the purpose of a 'best', so regular I suppose."

Wild night out or romantic night in?

"Ah shit give me both. Usually they start as a wild night out which ends with a wild night in. (wiggles eyebrows) Viktor knows what I'm talking about, right baby? (looking off to the side to see Viktor chuckling behind a face palm) Yeah, he knows what I mean. (winks)"

Day or night?

"For sex? Ugh both. Oh you mean just in general?-"

=FOUR HAVE YOU EVERS=

Been caught sneaking out?

"'Course."

Fallen down/up the stairs?

"Oh my god both, all the time, Viktor can attest to that good god. Being honest here I don't even need stairs to fall, it just happens."

Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt?

"Yuhuh, that's how it started with (points to Viktor while clicking toungue)"

Wanted to disappear?

"Hell no, I wanna be known."

=FOUR PREFERENCES=

Shorter or taller?

"I guess taller, but I was never picky."

Intelligence or attraction?

"Viktors got both so honestly it's hard to say."

Hook-up or relationship?

"When I was single, relationships. But now definitely relationship, and I wouldn't change it for the world."

=FAMILY=

Do you and your family get along?

"We did yeah. We were a happy family. (smiling fondly at old memories)"

Would you say you have a “messed up life”?

"(cackles) Boy is that an understatement."

Have you ever run away from home?

"Nah, I've always liked where I was, no matter where it was."

Have you ever gotten kicked out?

"Nope."

Do you secretly hate one of your friends?

"If you even wanna call some of them friends, I consider them links for possible job opportunities, work partners."

Do you consider all of your friends good friends?

"I wouldn't say all of them, but the ones within my close circle yes absolutely."

Who is your best friend?

"V."

Who knows everything about you?

"Viktor, and I mean everything. (smiles proudly)"

#tagged #my oc: marceline kelly #cp2077 oc #ship: ripper's doc #interview game

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ladylove0607 · 2 months

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Really depressed right now. People here in Louisiana are gangstalking me. The Litty that had a profile on here for 25 years either blocked me or it got deleted. I hope he's ok because I know that all this mess is making me not feel well. I'm trying to hold on and believe but it wouldn't surprise me if I waited all these years for everything I never thought of have just to be forgotten and unloved. I try to keep positive but, it's hard to when I didn't feel good about myself and constantly have hoes trying to break me down and insinuating I'm gonna get hit according to Jade pitre(Nantucket) or that I'm a heritick and need my nose clipped. I'm the one that the Queen of England did like a royal adoption because I was already Gunner which meant Queen. That's why she built the two private cargo Jets her and her little sister for me and I watched Prince Charles traveled like wife do her broadcast announcing that's what she was that she was going to get it popping off to the rest of the world could do the same. I'm the same one that cleared South America and 3 weeks and dug the trench we're trying to dad used to be because of them all becoming rapists who were kidnapping women and bringing them there and doing horrible things. I tried to stay by Tammy's side but she was trying to prepare me to be parlored and I ended up the mass colon infection and ended up having to go to the hospital and they chose to send me to a mental institution with no antibiotics had to argue and fight with them just to get sent and they gave me the abiliby shot and said they weren't going to let me out if I didn't take it. My kids are dead they were parlored along with my biological brother Jason Ard and and the former Master Commander of the American Navy jimminy I was beaten over and over again because I wouldn't say I was a hoe when I really wasn't. I don't care if you don't want to read this don't and people want to say why am I posting this well cuz back in the day I'm going to shut everything down and I can't seem to get anybody to give a s*** about me in America because they all act like they hated me the whole time anyway and that's not true I don't see nobody showing me any God damn give a f***. Maybe somebody will give a s*** because I don't know how long y'all want me to keep holding on when they're telling me to kill myself constantly or insinuating that they've been with him because that's what they do. I feel like I don't exist I feel like I don't matter I miss my papa Walt Oces I barely got to know him. I'm sitting in my room right now with a window unit on and my children's room at that so I'm constantly being made to feel all this. The two people who were my tutorship parents not cuz I wanted them to be and they took that position when I was 10 and a half because of mad dog Cleo and Maureen being euthanized in South America when I was 10 and a half. Never moved out of my house took over my inheritance account and I can't get anybody to help me so I don't have a penny I have nothing story of My Life

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thatharringrovehoe · 3 years

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Okay so I wrote more Mob AU because I have no self control so here ya go ya filthy animals.

"And God help anyone who disrespected the Queen"

--- Amanda Waller, Suicide Squad

- Billy brought the king of Hawkins to his knees the first time he told Steve he loved him. Tangled in the back seat of Steve's fancy BMW by the quarry, lips and tongue and teeth. Says it all breathy, hands holding Steve's jaw so tender. Foreheads pressed together between kisses, breathing so hard it's got the car windows foggy. Just "I love you Bambi.". And Steve knows about Billy's dad. Had clocked the abuse as soon as he MET Neil fucking Hargrove. Knows Billy's pops has been beating his son black and blue for neigh on for fucking ever. To long. Hates his faggot kid and wouldn't shed a tear if he went missing but would put him in the ground if word got out that Billy was in love with a boy. So this? This is important. "I love you to killer. Aint loved nobody like I love you." And he means it. Steve Harington would burn the world down for Billy Hargrove. And that's dangerous.

- Cuz you see Steve loves like a stray dog, fiercely and with everything he has once you give him a reason. His parents threw money at their little boys broken heart instead of giving him the time of day. Taught him how to run an empire but hadn't been home for Christmas in six whole years. Never even bothered to call on his birthday. So when someone bothered to stick around, to care. Steve Harrington was ride or die.

- When Steve was fourteen Brad Anderson pushed him into the Hawkins pool. Because Steve was just a kid and Brad was seventeen. Didn't buy into the whole 'King' bullshit. Thought Steve's dad was just some businessman and Steve was just a rich little shit with a complex. Tommy sent a right hook so sharp the kid's nose bent to the side and stayed that way. Turned the Hawkins pool water pink with a hot gush of blood. Cuz Tommy was a good guard dog. Bared his teeth, no muzzle. So the broken nose was no surprise. Brad's brother smashing a bottle over Tommy's head was. Fifteen stitches and a minor concussion that had poor Tommy puking up his guts for two whole days.

- It took two weeks. Two weeks of Mr. Anderson being told they didn't have any work for him at the mill so they were so sorry but they were gonna have to lay him off. Of Brad and his brothers being ostracized at school. Threats written in permanent marker on their lockers, the family car, scrawled across Brad's brother's bedroom window. Two weeks of cold looks and shoulders, teeth on edge before the family up and moved straight outta Hawkins. The day the moving van was parked in their driveway Steve Harrington rang their doorbell. And when Brad came to the door King Steve gave him a small box with a bow wrapped all pretty. With care. Told Brad it was so he would never forget one Steve Harrington. Cuz inside was the remnant of a glass bottle flecked with the blood of Tommy H. A promise and a warning. 'Get the fuck out of my town.' it said. 'Don't come back'.

- So when Steve has his arm draped around Billy's shoulders in their booth at the local diner, carding his fingers through Billy's curls, Tommy knows there's gonna be blood. Knows it as soon as that new kid from Michigan walks through the door. Cuz Danny Pulaski comes from a real God fearin family. Goes to church every Sunday morning with his family for the early service. and it takes Danny all of five fucking seconds to hone in on King Steve's throne and grimace. Tommy watches in the next booth over with Carole gripping his knee as Danny boy marches over, snarl caught between his teeth. Carole is smiling to, knows what Tommy does. There's gunna be so much blood. "Didn't take you for a fucking faggot goldy locks". Hawks spit at Billy's feet.

- Billy's face goes ghost white. Muscles locked with panic. Carole isn't smiling anymore. Cuz you see Tommy expected a fight. Not a declaration of fucking war. No one talked to King Steve's heart like that.

- Steve pulls Billy closer. Doesn't break eye contact with Danny as he raises his hand all lazy. Snaps his fingers. And everyone in the dinner just. Leaves. Gets up without paying. Without packing up their food. Just a rush of shuffling feet and averted glances. For all of twenty seconds the diner is full of the sound of steel chair legs screeching over linoleum, the jarring tinkle of the bell over the door. Then nothing. Just the harsh breaths of Danny Pulaski. Of Carole squeezing the denim over Tommy's knee till it creaks. Cuz Danny might have gotten out of this with some groveling. Some begging maybe. If Billy Hargrove wasn't trying to quickly wipe away the angry tears dragging down his cheek. And Tommy knew there was gunna be so much blood.

- Before Danny can say a thing two large men come out of fucking nowhere, clap their hands down on his shoulders hard and squeeze. Drag him out. Billy never sees that kid again. Apparently his parents had a change of heart. Missed Michigan so damn much they moved the very next day without a word to anyone. And wasn't it nice of that Harrington boy to see them off. Helped them load up the moving truck and everything. Cuz poor Danny had fallen down the stairs and broken both his legs. Stayed till that same moving truck pulled out of the driveway just to remind them of exactly how welcome they would be in Hawkins if they ever decided to come back.

- And you see Billy thinks he should be scared. But he really isn't. Cuz for the past six months people have been giving him looks whenever he's walking through Hawkins. Something like fear. Something like envy. Something a lot like respect. Doesn't have to worry about his dad so much anymore cuz he somehow has overtime shifts whenever Billy is home. Can hold his boyfriends hand at the park without fear crawling cold fingers up his back. Cuz Steve Harrington would burn down the world for Billy Hargrove. And no one has held a fucking candle for Billy in a long long time. So he's not afraid. Loves that pretty, powerful boy with what's left of his shrapnel filled heart. Doesn't give a second thought to a piece of shit kid from Michigan. Saunters right up to his King the next day in the school parking lot. Drags him down for a kiss so deep it leaves Steve drowning. Cuz King Steve kicked that shit head out of his kingdom for Billy. Because he loves Billy Hargrove. He smiles into the kiss. He's never gunna love like this again.

#No Danny's were harmed during the making of this shit post #None that you can prove anyway #I fucking LOVE criminal king Steve guys #I'm writting a fic that's it it's decided #harringrove #Mob AU #steve harrington #billy hargrove #billy hargrove/steve harrington #Tommy H #Carole #that hoe writes

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yakocchi · 4 years

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Becoming a Family With Him, Part 3 // Shuichi, Hikaru, Rhion, Luke, Eisuke

so this came out, as further celebration for the anni. VERY GOOD, much more appreciated than the prior story set lol that one was kind of boring but i get it

they made the kids for all the... kid-less ones, and the eisuke one that used to be VIP-exclusive is now here for everyone to buy (rip those ppl who gacha for it)

my rambling behind the cut (spoilers!!)

shuichi // as ud expect, shuichi has a literal hime ass looking girl (kikyo) for a daughter. she’s only 6, but is pretty calm and ladylike. She even calls her parents with –sama so... ok luckily shuichi does not strip down all the way in the presence of her daughter and only takes off his suit coat. thanks dad

anyway since shuichi has a break coming up, he wants to have a family trip how nice. but then the dang girl wants to go over to see eisuke WHAT when soryu exists and lives a block away? unrelatable, im closing the app anyway eisuke is her first love, which wtf he’s like 20 yrs older than u. even worse, mc says she’s been in love since she was like 3.

shuichi is reconsidering the benefits of democracy in his mind but eventually relents. but then they’re still following the fucc-days rule they set years ago. well, as he says in the story, RULES ARE RULES

blah blah i don’t want to go over everything bc then it’ll be boring reading the story when it comes out in engl right? also im tired bc it’s 1 am and i just want to play toontown in bed but nothing really bad happens. they are a v cute family bc shuichi is a pleasant and mature dad. kikyo and mc even do a little surprise for him at the end and it is very sweet. i feel like out of all the families, this is the most ideal

mad hatter // so they have twin sons named Rui and Kai. Rui is the childlike one that resembles Rhion in personality, Kai is the more mature one that resembles Al. man i forget that boy’s name but u get me i know they only can use stock bgs but it’s killing me that these dang kids get to sleep in what looks like separate king sized beds.

even though rhion is now a father of two, he still acts like... 10. i mean he still horni but it makes me feel weird

later it’s revealed that Ota teaches them both as an art tutor bc they both showed an interest in art. this is cute bc ota is bad with kids in this universe LOL

the ending on this one was weird cuz the kids didn’t show up in the entirety of the last ep bc it was about WORK. so uh... interesting

hikaru // so their son is named akari. haha get it because it means light. like how hikaru also means light. can mc name her kids unrelated to their father or is that against the Geneva convention

this kid actually acts like an actual little boy. like what hikaru would’ve probably turned into if not for the whole sad backstory. the story starts with akari just bringing a dog randomly home one day. he actually saved the dog (it is very cute bc he did not want the dog to cry), and then after a talk they decide to keep the dog as long as akari knows the responsibility of taking care of an animal.

so next day, the bidders come over to their house and everyone’s like woaw a dog. lol they come into their house as guests and eisuke and mamo still demand for beverages, they all suck

akari names the dog... “Light” (Raito) and i want out of this nightmare. Naturally bc Light is an abandoned dog it’s still kind of bad with interacting with things. But then Light suddenly be giving the ( ╹ਊ╹) to soryu bc remember, animals love him. everyone clowns on soryu for being an unintentional dog whisperer and then akari is like “soryu san pls make me ur apprentice” and he gives some advice like approaching it slowly, and talking to it from the front instead of back.

blah blah there’s a situation where Light goes YEET after a Doberman gets all angry and then hides bc then another dog is scaring it. hikaru swoops in to the save the day as the Real Dog Whisperer. ok it’s cute when hikaru actually gets to look cool for once LOL

luke // luke is cute on the bc “pre-story” scene he’s actually pretty open to the idea of having kids; he actually goes “well imo we should think abt it pretty soon, but i wanted to hear ur opinion on it” but then he gets horni. and then he’s like “our kids are going to have your collarbones. awesomeee im looking forward to that” ....ok

ok cut to the actual story and they’re in Japan. Luke’s kid looks... strange versus the others. why are his eyes so big? omg voltage his eyes arent going to be saucers just cuz he half white also the kid’s name is Yuri (Or Urey). They couldn’t think of any other Brit-styled names? Like Harry? Henry? William? Wilfred? hey stan be my princess btw he’s pretty cute, though he gives serious “timid kid that gets bullied in the children’s movie” vibes. He calls Luke “daddy” and mc “mammy/mommy”.

so luke talks about his relationship w/ soryu and eisuke and then yuri is like “i want friends like that” wow cute but also find less ethically-complicated friends

so luke lets yuri meet a young patient of his (haru) so they can be friends. they get along so it’s good. haru gets in critical condition later so luke zooms outta there to do the operation.

LOL but at the end yuri is like, “i want to make more friends. (...) can i go to the bidder’s room from now on?” this boy works fast

And then he’s like “Eisuke-san... please be my friend.” HIS POWER. even eisuke was like :O so then eisuke orders a whole bunch of food and books up to the penthouse. But then yuri’s like “...i like eisuke’s eyes” and everyone’s like oh man that’s gonna be his fetish

Baba: why have u started to have an interest in eyes Yuri: I read it from one of daddy’s medical books Hikaru: wtf u can read that at 4??? (...) Soryu: wat Yuri: um... i want soryu to be my friend too Yuri: bc soryu’s eyes are also powerfully cool...

eisuke // ok this gets an extended ramble bc the more annoying the story the longer i must complain

so you might be thinking, “oh so this is gonna be a flashback in some in media res styled story with your 2 kids, u know in the style of the others” and well, no you just go straight to white screen into the flashback, back when eito was smaller and thus a little more cute. well it’s not really false advertising bc they did say “reminisce” in the description. but i wanted to see eito be a good big brother for a moment! or... less good? man i wanted to see kaito go waaaah like a baby idk i wanted to see him exist

so back to the story they cut to small eito. even as a smaller punk he does fight with his dad a little, just w/ a more narrow vocabulary to work with. tho at this point he’s still pretty sweet so clearly eisuke clowning him day and night was a negative effect on his development. (doesn’t treat his child like a child) (child grows up to a punk that doesn’t respect him) (surprised pikachu) being the son of a billionaire means that this child has to go study at a very young age and listen to MOZART. no child of eisuke ichinomiya will be listening to degenerate bops like lee taemin’s criminal next day they all go to the very fancy school that eito will be attending. eisuke does a speech, but then eito is all like “why is papa over there all the time” in reference to how all the other parents in attendance are having fun with their children, but eisuke is busy talking to other people for business and connections etc. etc. mc kind of has a hard time trying to explain it to eito bc... it’s honestly poor parenting... eiji shows up after arriving late, and he’s like “gramps is gonna be with ya today! instead of papa” which is cute but then she’s like psst thanks for coming and im like oh... so grandpa just didn’t randomly come to the open house for fun he’s just gonna be surrogate dad while real dad is busy... aw... and then at the end eito’s like FUC THIS KINDERGARTEN. eisuke is like “(smh) don’t yell in public. (despite everything) you are still the eldest son of the Ichinomiya family”

and so afterwards it’s clear that eito does not want anything to do with this school. he just sits in the classroom until mc is there to pick him up instead of playing in the courtyard or w/e, wanting nothing to do with the other kids.

so later there’s a hiking trip for the students and both of their parents, and mc asks eisuke if he’ll be available for it. eisuke is like, “i have a business trip that day, so I’ll have to adjust my schedule” and he’s been very busy in the opening of a new business or w/e. mc tells him to not do so much for something like that and that it’s ok if she goes alone with eito on the trip.

it’s the day of the trip, and mc goes alone with eito. she notes that a lot of dads did indeed come along for the trip. she apologizes to eito and says that she did talk to eisuke about the trip before, but he’s simply busy for this day. and im like... but girl, you were the one who told him not to change his schedule for the trip. yes a trip may seem less important than business ventures, but don’t make it sound like you weren’t the one who stopped him. lol. idk why im pressed abt this single line of dialogue bc later she does realize she fucced up there well eito is just like w/e about it and has pretty much accepted that sort of thing

anyway eito goes missing later and one of the kids said that he told eito that his dad (eisuke) didn’t come bc his dad thinks that his work is more important than his son. so eito got mad and ran off somewhere

and then mc finally gets the lightbulb moment that eito... wants to see his dad!! he ran off to go try to see him somehow??? !! wow so sweet

it’s raining like a mf but then in her search for eito eisuke randomly pops out of nowhere. He’s like “ho i did not remember saying that i wasn’t coming” and she’s like “im sorrryyy” and both me and him are like “just find the dang kid”

ok yea they find eito, he starts being a good student, and u start to see where he starts being antagonistic towards his dad LOL etc. etc. lol this story annoyed me so i don’t feel like doing the rest of the play by play orz

anyway thanks for reading my garbage LOL

#kbtbb #kissed by the baddest bidder #spoilers

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clownistyping · 3 years

Text

A Witch & A Hick, Chp. 3

Little Secret

This chapter is just the two learning about each other and car problems lol.

Also warning for Elizabeth offering sex as payment lol, it doesn't happen. Also I do hc Lester living in a trailer bc its extremely common and realistic tbh.

Lester puts the truck in drive and looks at Elizabeth as he presses the brake,

"I remember you said there's a town nearby, any chance we can go there to fix up my van?" Elizabeth asks as she pets the two dogs,

"No need, they'll charge ya criminal prices. I can fix it." Criminal prices, he repeats in his head.

"Oh come on, you've already done so much." Elizabeth says her face soft,

"I insist! I can't just let them uh take ya money when I can fix it for free." He smiles and Elizabeth mirrors it. Lester gives from the brakes and drives towards his home,

"I have a feeling there's something...more behind this." Lester gulps,

"What made ya think that?" Lester nervously laughs and his hands tighten around the wheel,

"That's how most men are, expect a favor for a favor. Though they often expect ya know." Lester blinks and cringes,

"Aw that! I wasn't thinking anything like that, hell I wasn't even thinking about you doing anything."

"I mean I'll do it." His eyes widen and he stops the truck again,

"What?" He blushes and looks at the girl,

"I'll get you off, I've done it before."

"No no! I have to decline, I just ain't that kinda man." Lester nods to the woman who shrugs, he lied. He is that kinda man, he's had victims beg for safety with offers of sex. He always took it, but let's the girls fall back in the hands of his brothers.

"Not that I don't find ya pretty!" He defends quickly and Elizabeth laughs,

"You're real purdy, I just. I just can't." He sighs and Elizabeth notices how tense he is.

"Thanks, for calling me pretty." She smiles,

"I think you're real pretty too." She compliments Lester who blushes again, Lester has never talked to a stranger this long. Never had a girl call him pretty, never met her.

"Ya just sayin that cuz I'm given ya a ride." Lester chuckles and Elizabeth shakes her head,

"Nope," she pops her P,

"Everybody's beautiful in they're own way, just as nature intended." Lester blinks and remembers her van, the witchy collection in it.

"Oh right, you're a witch!" Lester exclaims and Elizabeth nods,

"How'd you know?" She teased and Lester laughs,

"How'd you even get in all that junk anyways?" Lester asks and flicks his hat,

"It ain't junk. Don't be rude," Elizabeth smirks and Lester nods his head, Jonesey puts her head on Lester's lap. He pets the dogs head.

"Sorry but, how did you ya know..start?"

"My sister got me my tarot cards, she really showed me the basics of witchcraft. Our parents didn't really care all that much but never let us do it in the house. Guess that's why I moved out so early too." Elizabeth laughs,

Lester pulls up towards a driveway of a trailer.

The trailer is a once white single wide, covered in vines and ivy. Bones hung from the porch ceiling,

Elizabeth notices his front door was wide open, and in the yard were scatters of trash, car parts, bones and more. The windows were open but blinds were keeping the inside blocked.

It looks like nobody lives there, as stray cats scurried under the trailer and hissed at each other.

"I'll be quick, I'll just unload your van and fix her right up in a jiffy." Lester smiles at the girl and gets out of the truck, Jonesey follows and Mac follows after her.

Elizabeth smiles as she watches the two dogs sniff around and play, getting out of the truck her barefeet sink into the grass and dirt. She stretches, the truck wasn't entirely comfortable with Mac siting right on her.

"Sorry for the mess, I don't really have guests." Lester says as he unhooks the van,

"Its fine, I've seen much worse."

"Nah, doubt it." Lester shakes his head and wipes his hands on his jeans, Elizabeth takes note of the depreciation joke he says.

As Lester pops her hood and smoke rises from it, Elizabeth frowns.

"That happened before?" Lester asks as he waves the smoke off, Elizabeth nods.

"Yeah, I've had a couple engine problems. Mainly because of oil, but my light wasn't even on."

"Yup, cars will do that. Just spring a problem on ya right as ya were doing fine." Lester grazes his hand over the engine and instantly finds the problem,

"When's the last time ya changed the cooling fan?"

"Never."

"Cleaned it?"

"Never." Lester sighs and Elizabeth frowns,

"That bad?" He nods,

"Your engine is busted, you're gonna need a new one."

"Nooooo." Elizabeth groans

"Hey its okay, this happens all the time. It's just an accident." Lester tries to comfort the girl, she squats and hides in her knees.

"Hey now," Lester gets on his knee and pats the girls back.

"We can maybe order one from the next town over, but it'll take a while for it to come in since we're basically in the middle of no where." Lester then sits with the girl and he blinks when he hears a sob come from her.

"Jeez darlin, it ain't anything to cry about." He says and Elizabeth looks up, her makeup more runny than before,

"This is my karma! I know it is and- and I shouldn't be cryin-ing but-" she hides her face again and Lester stutters,

"Aw no no, this ain't karma just an accident. Honest."

He isn't entirely sure what else to do, seen plenty of girls cry in Ambrose. Ain't none of them cried like this.

Crying about karma, hell if karma was real he'd be dead, he thinks and shakes his head. He gently pats the girls back as she sobs. The two dogs show up and sit around the two Mac places his head on the girls back. Pushing Lester's hand away, Elizabeth quickly hugs her dog.

After a couple minutes, her sobs stop and she looks up.

"Im sorry Lester, I just. It's just been a lot today," she says and wipes her eyes, smudging her makeup.

"Wanna talk about it?" Lester ask and Elizabeth looks around, noticing the sun is starting to set.

"No, not right now. I'm just tired now, sorry for bothering you with my emotions and junk."

"Ain't no bother at all, I'm happy to help." She shows a smile from his words as he stands, he puts his hand out and she takes it to stand.

"I know, and thanks again. Do you think it's alright if my van stays the night? I'll try to go to another town in the morning and order an engine. I'll find a motel too." She says, trying to clean her face up from tears and makeup.

Lester raises a brow, and Elizabeth shakes her head already knowing he'll offer his home.

"Lester please you've already done so much for me! I promise that by tomorrow I'll be out of your hair." She says and Lester shakes his head,

"Darlin, How about we both go into town order you an engine and when it gets here I can put it in. If you think I'm letting you sleep in that hot van for the night you're dead wrong." Lester stands up straight and crosses his arms, Elizabeth actually has to look up to see his face.

"I've got a spare room, it's messy and mainly holds all my junk but it's got a bed, a desk and a closet." Lester says and Elizabeth takes a deep breathe,

"Thank you," she says and Lester uncrosses his arms,

"I mean it, without you I'd probably be kidnapped by some crazy guy. Unless you are the crazy guy." She jokes and Lester nervously laughs.

"I like to call myself unqiue." Lester jokes and Elizabeth laughs,

"That you are friend, that you are." Elizabeth says and watches as the sun falls behind the trees.

After grabbing her needed things from the van, the two walk towards the trailer.

The two walk onto the wooden porch, Elizabeth's hands grazing the bones hanging above,

"Those are my people repellents, makes hikers skedaddle." Lester jokes and Elizabeth smiles,

"They're beautiful," she compliments and Lester walks through the open door,

"Yup, they sure are. I uh, I keep my door open so the strays can come in and relax and get away from the heat." He says and flicks on a light, it blinks a few times but turns on.

The two are standing in the living room, the couches covered in fur and scratches. Clothes are all around and clean and unclean bones sit on the coffee table.

But the recliner is free of fur, just a flannel on the back.

Lester notices his playboy magazine on the coffee table and quickly snatches up the magazine, Rolling it up he laughs embarrassingly.

"Sorry about that, again not often I get guests." Elizabeth smiles and shakes her head. From behind the two, Mac and Jonesey come running in. They jump on the couch and sit next to each other.

"My house is there house." Lester pets Jonesy's head and smiles, putting the magazine behind the couch during this. He turns to face Elizabeth whose staring at the bones,

"I'll show you to ya room," Lester walks to the right and opens a bedroom door,

The bedroom filled with bones in boxes, books, clothes and random knick knacks. He quickly lifts boxes from the bed and pats the dust off.

"My casa your casa." He smiles and Elizabeth places her stuff down, Lester stands in the doorway now.

"Thanks again, Lester. I really appreciate it." Elizabeth puts her hand out and Lester looks down at it. It's so small, he gently grabs it and Elizabeth grabs one of the bracelets on her wrist. She brings it over her hand and onto his,

"I can't not give you a gift." She says and lets him go, Lester looks down at the bracelet. A whole set of animal teeth with beads in between.

"I- thank you. It's so purdy." He says and continues,

"You're a real uh...what's it called?"

"Freak?" He quickly shakes his head, and takes her hand again. Putting their wrists together with the bracelets,

"Unique," he smiles, "You're a real unique girl."

"Is it because I mess with bones and junk?"

"Well that, and because you're real nice." Elizabeth smiles,

"You're just as unique as me Lester." She says and the two look at each other for a second, wanting this conversation not to end but not sure how to continue.

Suddenly from behind Lester, Mac barks.

Elizabeth laughs,

"It's past his bedtime, sorry he gets cranky when he's not in bed by this time." Lester let's the dog run past him and onto the bed,

"Well, goodnight, um. Sleep tight?"

"You too Lester." Elizabeth quietly shuts her door and Lester stares at the closed door. Jonesy whines from behind him,

Lester turns to the dog and squats, he pets the dogs cheeks and smiles.

"She'll be our little secret, right Jonesey?" The dog licks his face.

#house of wax #house of wax 2005 #lester sinclair #lester sinclair x reader #my writing #self insert #self ship #oc x canon #canon x oc

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slashingdisneypasta · 3 years

Note

Hi! If you don't mind could you write me some headcanons about being bff with some female cp's? Like Jane, Nina, Clockwork, Nurse Ann...?

One of my best friends is called one of these names so it was odd to write XD Some headcanon’s were totally true about her as well, and some definitely were n o t. XD

Anyway I’m not sure how comprehensive this is since I just kinda spewed it all out so, uh… I hope you like them! 😅

~~~

Clockwork:

· Natalie stays at your house all the time and eats all your food. Girl has a FAST metabolism so you cannot tell, but she eats e v e r y t h i n g.

· She doesn’t even have a key to your home, you just come home from everyday activities and she’s slumped in your couch cushions watching TV and there’s a pool on your bathroom floor from her shower and- oh, she has also ordered pizza so get your wallet out.

· You just squint/glare at her before flopping on the couch beside her. She hands you the remote and gets comfier by you.

· Even when you have a romantic interest over, she is there at your house, comfortable on the couch playing games on your phone as you walk your ‘friend’ to your room.

· It’s not all frustrating though, she’s always there to protect you. There have been multiple burglaries that she has intercepted and ‘taken care of’. She’s honestly like a guard dog who also has an excellent sense of humour.

· And don’t think she just wants you around for your apartment and money. Nay nayyyyyy nay. She tells you all about the Creepypasta drama and what’s going on at the mansion, even though you aren’t apart of that life.

· And she calls when she’s away. Just calls up to talk to you.

· You two are the kind of friends that don’t need to talk to each other all the time. In fact, you agree that talking to people all the time is annoying and too much trouble, and you could totally go without each other for days (Weeks even) if either of you were busy! But… without either of you even realising, you always end up contacting each other in one way or another every day, anyway. Its easy with you two. No romantic relationship could compare.

· She was the groom and you were the bride in your make-believe weddings and mums and dads games as kids.

· On Toby: “Okay Nat, I like Toby but I hope you know, if he hurts you… well there is absolutely nothing I can do to wreak revenge on your behalf, as he is a duo hatchet wielding psychopath, except maybe give him a stink eye. … When he is looking away and therefore cannot see the stink eye.”

· More on the Toby subject: Clockwork once took you to Slender Mansion (Cuz you were targeted by a botched victim of hers because she cares about you and she wanted you close by to keep you safe until she could, like, finish killing the guy and all. Whatever though, no biggie. Pft, At least that’s how she made it out to be.) and she had to leave you for a moment so she handcuffed you and Toby together because he’s the only one she could trust to watch you.

· It was very awkward for the two of you, but definitely a bonding experience. You were both very happy to see Clocky come back though.

· HORROR. The world of horror is your favourite genre together. Supernatural horror, slashers, basement dwellers, vampires, werewolves, the blob, stalkers, murderers, psychological horror, black and white, colour, movies, tv shows, books- whatever. You two get so excited to experience new fictional horror.

Jane The Killer:

· If you’re into boys, let me tell you right away- Jane is very critical of their actions. She was at a very influential time in her life (Especially concerning boys and girls and romance) when she met Jeff and Liu. She met those boys, thought ‘Oh, they’re cute. Maybe budding crush?’, and then Jeff killed her family, burnt down her home and ruined her life and Liu became an asshole, and now the male species has been, sorta… tainted. She knows there are good ones (In fact, m a n y boys are lovely, of course.), but one’s that you’re in romantic cahoots with are always going to be under her very watchful eye anyway so she doesn’t really bother to hold back her fear (Which translates into dislike… or hate) with them. So if you have boy problems, be careful. Provided you like this/these guy/s, at least. If you don’t like them, then she’s the perfect person to go to!

· If you are a boy, then- of course, none of this applies to you. She loves you. Don’t worry. You’re her best friend!

· Girls are an entirely different situation though of course. Jane drinks that love women juice every single day.

· Jane is really good with altering clothes, so she’s the one you go to when you need help hemming something or taking something in. She likes to do it, too. Quality best friend time while not being lazy.

· Speaking of her hating to be lazy… This does not apply at night. Nighttime is a whole other ballgame. Its bedtime by 7 for her if you don’t lock her into plans a week in advance. If she is braless and in her P.J’s, you will not be able to peel her from her home. Except for snacks, but even if she goes to the grocery store, she’s not getting changed and she’s going to wear her bunny slippers.

· You two watch so many cartoons together. Gravity Falls, Star Vs The Forces of Evil, Over The Garden Hedge, Villainous, Looney Tunes, Ducktales, etc. Any and all that you can get your hands on.

· You two are prepared to get platonically married, for any reason. Like, you need to stay in the country? Married; You’re staying. You’re the only one who can testify against hr in the court of law? Married, so by law you don’t have to. One of you accidentally planted yourselves with a kid and (Cuz you’re ride or die for each other, obviously), you’re gonna parent the child together and cuz of religious beliefs one of your would feel better about raising them together with a wedding band? Married.

· Jane doesn’t drink, so when/if you get drunk she’s always there to keep you safe.

· Jane also gets friend-jealous, a lot. Like, that bitch just called you her best friend, Y/N. Is she your best friend? I thought I was. So who is it, Y/N? Me or her? HM? (She is prepared to turn up to wherever you and this person are hanging, all glamorous and cool as she is, and show off. Prove she’s a way better friend then this new person so they back off).

· When you were little, she was the bride and you were the groom in your wedding/marriage/mums and dads games.

Nina The Killer:

· You have known her for both your entire lives and there have been iffy, and dark times but through hell and high water you have stuck with her. You love her. She’s your girl, you are her person too. You will be with her, and protect her from anything.

· You are the only one in the world that loves her, really. You may not quite understand her weirdness, but you stick with her anyway because you love her.

· Just like- baseline of your friendship is being ride or die for each other.

· You were also really into Jeff, but at a more… healthy? Level? Like, you were still romantically interested in a real-life murderer, but you wouldn’t have done anything about it. You wouldn’t hurt anyone (Except to protect others) or victim blame, or contact the victims (Dear God) or whatever, but you would take peaks at fanfiction and gab with Nina about it. I mean, it’s not grand, but in comparison to Nina, hah… you were harmless.

· Now though, that you’ve met him and he is the reason your bets friend is so hurt and broken, you are not the fondest of him. I mean, you still have a place in your heart for the version of him you and Nina made up in your heads (The version that Nina still believes is real) but that isn’t the real him. Jeff Woods is an ass. You need to keep your friend safe from him.

· And uh… so nowadays… occasionally, you will find out where Jeff is (You keep an ear out) and, you know, just… lie your ass off to Nina. Yep. You tell her you heard that he’s in the opposite direction than he is so that she’ll unknowingly put more distance between him and her.

· Yes. It’s a lie, but… its for the greater good! It’s for Nina’s mental health and physical safety.

· Anyway, moving on to lighter things.

· In your make believe mums and dads/’grown up’ games that you would play together as kids, you were a single parent and she was the dog.

· She will lie for you in an instant. She’s also really good at it.

· You walked into a room once and saw she was drawing something, and it turned out to be your joint tombstone. She has not let this go- you will be buried in the same plot together, if it is the last thing she does. This is slightly concerning, but… also kind of cute. You can roll with it.

· “What if I get married or have kids?”

· “They will need to apply with me to join. There will be an interview process.”

· ‘What about pets?”

· “Oh, they can come in! No fee!”

· Do not underestimate her weight. If she doesn’t want you to leave, she will hold onto your leg and go deadweight, and you will s t r u g g l e.

· Nina talks to herself, but she acts like the person she’s talking to is another person, inside her mind. You both know its not, but you refer to the other girl as Agnes anyway. Super casual.

· Follows you when you go on dates (At least the first one with someone)to make sure all goes well and texts you rapid fire when she smells something fishy. Even the smallest thing.

· You two really love dystopian teen fiction. Divergent? Matched? Hunger Games? Maze Runner? Ugles? Alllllll. You consume them and then watch the movies/tv shows too.

Nurse Ann:

· Live-in medical services! This means you can get really cheap life insurance and not worry about it to much.

· And on the topic of insurance… Ann is super smart, and organised, and just really awesome at practical stuff like that. Insurance, bills, mortgages, any kind of forms and receipts. And she’s happy to sit down and help you go through it- and, as we all know, everything is better when it’s with a friend you feel comfortable with.

· You can tell Ann anything and she’ll just roll with it. No judgment. Either she takes it and lets you talk about it or she just acknowledges it and moves on.

· Like Jane, Ann has very little patience for boy problems. In fact, she has zero time for it. Boys? Girls? No thank you. So if you’re into boys, I have some bad news for you.

· Best friend maintenance. Occasionally, Ann will over work herself (with murder) and you will need to guide her to relaxation. Gently persuade her to sit down at the dinner table and just make idle chit chat with her every now and then as you make her a good, hearty meal (Or as good as you can do XD Anything between Beefy stew and a Cheese toastie will work fine, don’t worry. She’s not picky at all), and then watch some movies with her. No phones, no knitting, no drawing, no… whatever. No other activities except TV watching! She needs to rest. I’m always shocked at how relaxing just sitting and watching TV can be. There’s a big difference between doing that and multitasking.

· Ann will call you to pretend there’s an emergency if you want to get out of social engagement.

· A thing that two enjoy together is science fiction. Star Trek (Including the animation), The War of Worlds, the world of Star Wars, Dune, a Handmaids Tail, The 100, Eureka, etc. She loves the brainy stuff.

· Ann is the logical friend, who tries to give the most practical advice and make pros and con lists and everything. And then you go ahead and do the crazy thing, the thing she said definitely would not work and would probably make things worse, and she just face palms and says she’s never getting mixed up in your mess again. … Until the next time, when she totally does.

· “I love you Y/N, but I am not about to walk into a police office and bail you out of jail so do not do that.”

· You trap her into resting by painting her nails (Hands and feet) in her sleep right before her alarm is about to go off so she has to take the morning SLOW or the paint will mess up. She just wakes up, you hold up a sign in front of her face that says ‘NAILS’ and she stops immediately. “You bitch.”

· As kids, of course, the two of you would play make-believe family games and you were both mums (/ or you were the dad). She was the working mum and you were forced to stay home take care the baby (large container of vitamins with a face drawn on).

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oosizins · 3 years

Text

Genre: angst,fluff Words: 1.952 Warning: bullies, swearing words and violence and a little kiss

AN: So this is a request by @seroonie

I hope you like it sweetie

Bichy Bich Club

All start when they were younger Jeno was a little boy who loved take care of himself everyone thought he was selfish until he went help a little girl named Y/n, who was bullied by some random person. Fom that everything start to turn into something else, and that until now they had grown up, the little selfish kid turn into a men who is now in highschool, part of the soccer team he have good grades, rich and everywhere he is going everyone is staring at him. The little girl had grown even pretier that before but no one was able to see it but Jeno and his friends. She was really silent and didn't want everyone to look at her like they are looking at Jeno. She also have good grades and if you're searching for her she is at the table next to the window watching her friends doing sports or just studying.

But like in all the stories they are antagonists and there it was a girl named Chloe really popular too, by a chance (or not ) she got close to Jeno, they start hanging out together and he even introduce her to his friends, here they are:

Renjun the older of theme all, he was cold from the outside but when you get to know him he was as warm as the cacao that you drink in a cold winter, Haechan he was always teasing everyone and even the teachers were weak but he's the sunshine of you're group. Jaemin everyone's favorite, he was kind, heart warming and sociable when they were younger jeno and he were always fighting but they learn how to live around each other and they discovered how they likeed each other. Jaemin was here for everyone who need love and support and finally Y/n the only girl that was really close to them all she was shy and talk only to the boys so imagine the face that Chloe made when she knew that Jeno had another girl in his life. But she anyways took the place of all the girls dreams and became Jeno's girlfriend. And from this situation they're history are starting

Hey Y/n we are here said Haechan while shaking his hand over his head.

Ye I'm not that blind Chan I just need to go somewhere. you mumble back

Ok we are going to wait for you in the library Renjun shout and you and you friends separate to your respective place, actually, you were going to the bathroom, it was now an habit that at 13h Chloe and her friends were here in the toilet waiting for you and if you miss one of there reunion it's the end, they gonna make fun of you in front of the whole highschool or you gonna be bitten up

So you got our history home work? Asked Chloe without even looking at you

No I didn't get the time you replied

Ow and why did you didn't get the time? You were hanging out with someone? A no I forgot that beside Jeno and his pets you don't have any one her friend commented

So what are we going to do with you? Hm? Maybe hurt you? Like slap you're ugly face? Or no maybe hurt you're friends? The second said

No! Hurt me but not my friends you begged I don't care if you slap me... but don't you dare do something to my friends. You suddenly had a wired felling inside of you like if you're blood start boiling and anger filled your eyes.

Ow so we want to play the superhero? Chloe ironically asked

No but if you dare touch one of there hair all the high school will know what did you did with Kai

Ow I see you gain in confidence, but why would they trust you when you have the courage to talk only to MY boyfriend and his friends?

Do you really love "you're" boyfriend? That is the question everyone beside you him and you're two dogs know that you don't like him for who he is but for his-

That is none of your business bich- She cut you off and you saw his hand fly and slap you're cheek Don't you dare talk to me like that again or you'll regret

What you are gonna do if I talk to you like that?

She grab your hair and smack it against the sink

That what I'm gonna do stupid, don't you're parents thought you how to respectfully talk to people or they don't like you too?....

And they're gone

That isn't actually the worst they've done, you're just gonna have an bruise and maybe a red cheek but that's ok .... Right?

Hay what happened? Asked Renjun a little panicked to see you with a black eye And you saw Jeno take out his water bottle to place it gently against you're cheek bone

You felt you're heart race and you're cheek heat up by the fact that he was looking at you and his hand patting you. He was so gentle even if he have strong arms long legs kick bullies booties he was so careful and sweet, he always had the habit to make you fall for him in a way

I got stuck in the bathroom and I hurt myself against the door you said silently and you heard Jamin replying

Y/ n it's actually the 5 time it happened maybe we'll go with you next time?

In the girls bathroom? Noooo I'm not going with you, they're all gossiping about how jeno is strong, beautiful and everything else! joked haechan

No but we can stay on the bench in front to wait and if after 10 minutes you're not out we go break the doors explained Jaemin

No it's ok guys I'm ok don't worry you thank them.

No you're not that courageous or brave that you want to be, you don't fight back you don't want to get into troubles like all those popular protagonist in the series.

After the classes you saw Chloe talking to a new guy he seemed to be uninterested in what she was saying and you laugh

What is funny Y/n ? Asked Jeno

Just you're girlfriend trying to catch that guys attention you laughed out

Oh I hope it's a joke you're not like the boys right? He groaned

But why out of all the girls did you choose her? She isn't even kind? And she look like a fish

Yes but she love me and I love her she is really nice she even get to know you and she is beautiful I don't know why you think she is ugly jeno said

Ye she is pretty with all that paint on her face and she is kind with those popular guys you mumble to yourself

Y/n I'm telling you that I like her can you just respect my opinion

And I want you to be happy and with that you're gonna be everything but happy, she's a whore and when are you gonna get it? You were screaming

You know what don't come to me I'm not letting anyone talking about my girlfriend like that and usually people understand but you don't seem to. And he walk away

No-jeno I... I'm sorry...you started to cry out but he didn't heard and you get inside the bus alone with no one to talk to or to lean on while listening to music but all you were able to do is cry cuz knowing Jeno for that long you know that he wouldn't let you come close to him so you were crying, you have lost you're best friend.

//:✨a week have passed✨://

As you knew jeno didn't let you come closer to him so you were talking to the boys,Chloe said that if she see you with Jeno she will beet The boys so you didn't try to talk to him neither, Haechan said that Chloe hook up with one of the newbie of the highschool and you were again thinking about Jeno...

Jeno was blind he thought that this girl liked him for who he was but no it's just that he is famous, his rich, he is sportif and handsome.

Like every other day you were walking down the strets to to you're house it's was dark and only the little lights were showing you the way across the little park. You get out of the park and you saw what you didn't want to see. Jeno walking alone, you did as you havn't seen him but he took you're hand and that makes you look at him in confution

Sorry Y/n.... I'm dumb we shouldn't have had a fight about her. he said and put you in his arms

No...hmpf.- Jeno let me go- you were trying to go out but his arms were too strong

It's killing me that you want to go out now when before the simple fact that I touch you're shoulder makes you blush he said and you were kinda surprised by how he new

Jeno what are you talking about let me go out what is someone see us like that, they.. they would think that you are...- you tried to explain

I don't care about the others I care about you! He shout out and you were again speechless

But me I have to care about them cuz if Chloe see us like that she gonna beet us up me and that boys you mumble and you felt tears dropping

What?! You are telling me that only now?! My Lord I'm so wrong come here he said and drag you by you're arms, So you are saying that all the scars the bruise and everything else it's because of this bich?

How are you talking about you're girlfriend? You asked a little bit shocked.

It's been a week sins she isn't my girlfriend. Cuz during this time when we were fighting I finally figured how.... How I love you Y/n that is unbelievable but I figured out that I was always watching you or asking where you were or how you were and everytime someone was talking about you I was smiling like a dumb crap in love. He looked at you and you were still inerpreting what he said and you were happy to know that he loved you

Are you confessing? You joked

Of course yes how can I not, you're the girl of my dreams and I want you to be my ... My girlfriend he confess while scratching the back of his neck

Can- I .. can I kiss you? You mumble while playing with your fingers.

He looked a little bit surprised but didn't refuse and took you're chin in his finger and close the distance between your two lips.

And after that day Chloe got in (garde a vue) and everyone left her cuz what she did was discussed

Y/n was finally getting more comfortable around people and lived a happy life with our dear Jeno who took extremely care about her, Renjun, Jaemin and Haechan were so happy that they finally confess to each other, they wanted to do like a little wedding (but they didn't cuz it was to childish in Jeno's opinion and Jaemin was sad but that's ok)

But now the most important is that everyone know that popularity is not being rich, being highly educated or perfect, it's being kind, humble and real.

#oh my gosh #it's kinda long #but i like it #what about you?#seronnie asked #nct dream fluff #jeno x reader #jeno imagines #jeno scenarios #lee jeno

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midnights-light · 4 years

Text

Ladybug and the Hound

So before I begin I need to say a few things

This is my first attempt at writing a fanfic so it’s most likely going to suck and all that jazz

I do not own any characters in the DC or Miraculous universes (if i did everything would make little to no sense so yeah)

Can we all agree that @ozmav is an amazing writer?

If you don’t like Daminette, don’t read it’s that simple

I am also going to use “Dogs are a Ladybug’s best friend” by @kelelamentia for some inspiration on this cuz I love that idea

All characters are going to be OOC so just be prepared

If ya’ll like it I might write more just let me know if I should write more or if I should never think about writing again (I have low self-esteem so if it look like I am hating on myself it’s because I am but I’ll get over someday but if you criticize me please at least try to be constructive criticism)

Now onto the terrible thing I decided needed to exist

LB-Ladybug

CN- Chat Noir

M-Marinette

Di-Dick

D-Damian

B-Bruce

T-Tim

J-Jason

A-Alfred

The Meeting

It was a normal Tuesday, ya know? Birds are singing, the sun is shining, the Eiffel Tower collapsed, ya know the usual. Well usual for Parisians who had to deal with this for 4 almost 5 years now but for those who just wanted a vacation like the Waynes... well let’s just say they were unprepared to see the Eiffel Tower come crashing down just a few blocks ahead of them as they were walking to get some pastries from Tom and Sabine Boulangerie patisserie for a afternoon snack and to walk Titus (they brought Titus because Damian refused to leave him alone in the mansion for two weeks while they are on vacation so Bruce reluctantly agreed to bring him with them). So them being them ran towards the fallen tower and see a few people dead and some injured. They help the injured, but just as they are about to get the remaining few out of the wreckage a girl in a clearly ladybug themed suit comes crashing to the ground creating a few cracks to form on the ground. She gets up with a groan just as a dog in a fox themed costume came running up to her and helps her steady herself. “Thanks, Hound.” says the spotted girl and as the batfam are about to check if she’s okay a... IS THAT A GIANT BABY?! Well the giant baby comes walking towards the girl and the dog when a voice shouts “If you go on a date with me Ladybug I will come help you just accept your feelings for me already!”

Damian's POV

As soon as the spotted girl heard that she looked towards the owner of the voice and low and behold it’s a guy in a leather cat suit and on the outside I look indifferent to what is happening but on the inside the only thing I can think is ‘What is going on in this city!’ because I was just expecting a boring two weeks of ‘required’ vacation in the ‘city of love’ I hate the nickname of the city because as Father has shown love is a weakness. But apparently the city of love is not as boring as I thought it would be. The girl (ladybug I think is her name) now has a look of murder in her eyes and the dog (hound is what she called him) growled at him as ladybug said “Chat, you can’t be serious! You just caused the Eiffel Tower to fall and kill and injure people!” CN-“Yes because you can’t realize that we are meant to be together!” LB-”No we are not now either help or shut up so I can focus on gigantitan!” CN-”Fine then i’ll just sit here and enjoy the show” That one interaction makes me question if this is how it is everything something like this happens.

*Time skip because i can’t write smart plans or fight scenes*

Dick’s POV

After ladybug got his watch thing off his wrist she and hound tore it apart which released a black butterfly and the giant baby was now back to a normal sized baby. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?1 I’M SO CONFUSED! After I stopped questioning reality I realized that ladybug was comforting the kid (HE COULDN’T BE OLDER THAN 4 YEARS OLD!) she picked him up and was about to throw her spotted thing up in the air for some reason but was interrupted by the cat boy saying ‘Pound it!’ and acting like he actually helped her and didn’t just sit there on a roof watching ladybug and hound do everything. What the heck? Ladybug walks over to me and asked if I could hold the kid for a sec and I said sure because she looks ready to murder. After she hands me the kid she walks over to cat boy and started yelling at him about how he can’t just be reckless like that but it seemed to just go over his head as he replied saying something about how she owed hit to him to date him but I quickly stopped listening when the kid started crying because of all the yelling going on so I started to talk and play with him to cheer him up until he pointed to ladybug as she yelled miraculous ladybug and tossed the spotted object into the sky. I was confused about what she was doing until I saw a swarm of ladybugs appear and start fixing the damage, healing the injured, and even bringing people back to life. Then she came back over and was about to ask something but then a shrill beeping noise came from her earrings causing her to ask if we could watch over the kid until his mom came and picked him up. Titus and Hound were playing until she called him over to her and then they jumped, yes JUMPED, up to the roof and left. “What the hell was all that and does anyone else want to kill a cat boy?”

Tim’s POV

“So that all really happened, huh? It wasn’t really just a coffee dream?” I say and then look at everyone else has a different reactions to what just happened: Jason is looking at where dead bodies had been but now they were alive, Bruce is trying to understand what just happened, Alfred looks concerned, Dick is keeping the kid happy, and Damian is trying to keep Titus from running after Hound. I notice other civilians just walking around like nothing just happened and I’m just thinking ‘How long has this been happening and how have we not noticed? WHAT IS LIFE!?’

Jason’s POV

I look at everybody that was dead just walk away like nothing happened and I am about to ask Bruce if he know what that was when I feel someone bump into me. I turn around to see a girl around Damian’s age on the ground picking up the stuff she dropped while rapidly apologizing while a dog, presumably hers, was sniffing her making sure she was ok and had what looked like a glare on his face when he looked at me. M-“I’m so so sorry Monsieur! I wasn’t looking where I was going.” J-”It’s alright little lady, but if you don’t mind me asking, what’s the rush?” M- “Well you see I’m supposed to be helping in my parents bakery after I finished walking Captain but we got caught up in the akuma attack so I’m running a bit late. My names Marinette by the way. I don’t think I’ve seen you before are you visiting?” What’s an akuma? I’ll file that away for later for replacement to look at but for now. J- ”Yeah we are here for a family vacation to take a break from work. Would you mind if me and my family follow you to your parent’s bakery? We were heading to one for a snack but it seems we got turned around during the attack.” M- “Sure just tell me your names first so I at least know you to some degree cause I’m not supposed to talk to people I don’t know. I hate life but I’m not ready to die just yet.” She laughs and I swear it feels like the world just got a whole lot brighter, J- “Of course where are my manners name’s Jason. I have a feeling my family is going to love you and your dog.” I say as I hold my hand out for Captain to sniff and after he does he stops giving me what I swear looks like a glare but he’s still standing near Marinette when I notice my family looking at me and Marinette and Alfred asks me, A- “Master Jason are you going to introduce us to the young miss?” J- “Oh right, guys this is Marinette, Marinette this is Alfred he’s our butler/ grandpa, the one who looks like he’s about to pass out is Tim, the one playing with the kid is Dick, the stern one is Bruce, and the one with the dog is Damian.” I say.

Damian’s POV

I hear Todd talking to someone and introducing us and as soon as I turn to glare at Todd I see the most beautiful eyes in the whole world. they look like sapphires and her hair is like the midnight sky. She looks like an Angel... wait WHAT!? I only zone back in as soon as Todd told the Angel my name so I did what not even I was expecting, I took her hand, gave the back of it a kiss and said, D- “Nice to meet you Angel.” I was not smiling when I saw her blush and I for certain do not want to make her blush again... but if I have a chance to then I will take it. Then I hear a low growl and I then notice that she has a dog (yes she loves animals to!) that is looking at me like he’s going to rip me to shreds and I will forever deny that I was a little scared. M- “Sorry Damian, Captain’s just a little protective of me and doesn’t like strangers being around me.” D-”I understand.” I say then I hold out my hand for her dog (Captain I think it was) to sniff and after he does he still growls at me but doesn’t look ready to tear me to pieces so progress towards getting to know the Angel before me. And then my good mood is ruined by the sound of my idiot brothers and father, the traitor, snickering behind us. I turn and scowl at them but they don’t seem to care. Meanwhile Titus and Captain appear to have met and are now chasing each other around making me and the Angel laugh. Her laughter sounds amazing and her smile makes it feel like the world brightens up just a little. M- “So shall we start walking to the bakery?” A chorus of yes comes from my family and then we start walking. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

BONUS

*Whispering* J- “Am I going crazy or did Demon Spawn just laugh and smile at Marinette?”

Di- “No I heard it to *gasp* do you think he has a crush?”

J- “Are we sure he’s capable of having a crush?”

T- “Well I’m sure she will be good for him, but what I’m confused about is how she doesn’t recognize who we are. I mean how does she not know us she didn’t even seem to recognize our faces.

A- “I think Miss Marinette will do Master Damian some good.”

And Bruce is just looking at his youngest son with pride. His first crush and he’s able to witness it.

So as I said in the beginning this is my first fanfic and It’s most likely terrible so let me know if I should never write again, if you want another chapter, or if I should just reevaluate my life choices.

Chapter 2

#marinette x damian #maribat #marrinette dupain cheng #ml x dc #ml crossover #daminette #dc crossover #adrien salt #alya salt #lila is exposed #class salt #guardian marinette

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0gasstationcoffee · 2 years

Text

LWA rewatch episode 10

· Laughing already cuz Sucy got the love bee by accident, she wanted the venomous one

· Also the love bee is making sexy poses and that’s GREAT

· Everyone just gawking at Diana in her pretty dress lol

· I will say, I do adore Akko and Andrew as good friends. No romantic tension between them at all but they make good bros and I imagine get up into weird shit together

· OK THEY ARE AT THE MAGIC ITEM STORE TO GET DRESSES FOR THE PARTY AND THEY LITERALLY HANDED AKKO A PLAYBOY BUNNY SUIT???????

· The Cinderella set lmao

· Aww the dresses are really pretty!

· Well safe to say Akko’s metamorphosis magic is better, that squirrel was gigantic

· Andrew really is just the male version of Diana isn’t he

· Oh yay!!! Frank is back

· Oof Andrew kicking her out in front of everyone, that’s harsh buddy

· I knew I liked Frank, he’s telling Andrew to let it go

· Oh Sucy, I do feel like she let the love bee free for Akko’s sake so it could cause a distraction

· Akko does NOT look too happy with Andrew’s declaration of love lmao

· Diana deadpanned”seriously”

· Oh no now all these boys falling for Lotte

· Aww poor Lotte “I’m really not all that interesting to be honest”

· I remember the other boy being jerks in the end but Frank is a good egg

· Diana goes to fix the problem and Akko tries to go with her lmao

· Akko: “Sucy please fix this!” Sucy: “but seeing you suffer brings me so much joy!” Yeah until you see her really suffer and then you don’t think that anymore

· Awww my poor baby girl. Sucy says it’s probably the first and last time a boy will ever like you and Akko just immediately agrees : (

· Akko has a lot of belief in herself that she can become a great witch but she’s also HELLA insecure about certain things

· OH HERE IT IS WHEN DIANA GETS STUNG

· LMAO THE PARALLELS BETWEEN ANDREW AND DIANA GETTING STUNG

· THEY’RE BOTH LIKE HOW CAN WE HAVE BEEN SO BLIND BEFORE, AKKO IS NOT HAVING IT WITH EITHER OF THEM AND H&B BOTH FAINT AGAIN

· I’ve always personally headcanon’d Akko as bi so her having the same reaction to both is hella funny

· Okay the Hanbridge house is gigantic

· The dad is a dick. He’s asking how Andrew could have let witches in from Luna Nova? He literally invited Diana. But interesting that he says magic is an evil craft

· “You have a tendency to get captivated by useless things. Like when you wanted to take piano lessons as a child.” Wow what a prick. He even told him not to play

· Why would him playing piano be such a big deal for being a politician

· In the future, I hope he takes up piano again

· Akko is encouraging him to follow his dream because she can’t understand how anyone could give up on their dream. She’s determined

· “Anytime I think of Chariot’s warm smile, it makes the whole world shine bright!” What a line

· Look we just have to get this out in the open, I do think her first crush was Shiny Chariot

· Which actually reminds me of a fic that said this exact thing. Her first crush was Chariot but she always saw Ursula as like a mom/parental figure and how it was now just hella weird to think about and it makes me cry laugh everytime

· Oh no this whole sequence of Akko trying to smash the bee is so awk lmao

· Oh shit wait he actually plays the piano in this episode lmao

· He’s a cheeky lil shit playing flight of the bumblebee, it is for this reason I think they would be good buds

· AKKO

· AKKO YOU’RE ON THE RAILING IN HEELS GIRL BE CAREFUL

· Diana fell in love with her reflection lmfao and Sucy is just so unsurprised

· That lady fell in love with a dog. I can see it

· Oh thank GOD the bee was smashed and we did not have to see this old man be in love with this teenage girl

· Okay Andrew that was kind of a dick thing to say?? I get you might be embarrassed at playing the piano but saying that you work hard and Akko doesn’t?

· Oh no Lotte

· Oh no Lotte my poor baby

· FRANK FOR BEST DUDE ON THIS SHOW HONESTLY

· Give me that good Frank and Lotte friendship

· Omg they’re having a tea party on Akko’s bed

· Really I just love the red team so much

· Haha they’re teasing her

· She’s talking about Andrew the exact same way she talks about Diana lol

· I miss Ursula

#lwa #lwa rewatch #little witch academia

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pinkykitten · 4 years

Text

Hey Dad

The Good Doctor Neil Melendez x teen! platonic reader

Specific/Warnings: mentions of jumping from one foster home to another, accident, surgery, angst, fluff, one-shot, requested, race neutral reader, teen reader, platonic relationship

Words: 2,220

Requested: By anon Could you do a Melendez x Teen!reader oneshot where he fosters her and she’s like really chaotic and thinks he’s like all her others foster parents and he seems so lost, and she gets into an accident and he does the surgery and that’s when she changes and calls him dad pls?

Authors Note: I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO END THIS ONE SO I HOPE YALL LIKE THIS ANGST BUT THEN FLUFF PIECE. I HOPE ALSO I GOT THE REQUEST GOOD CUZ THIS ONE MEANS A LOT TO ME. I HOPE U ALL LIKE THIS ROLLERCOASTER.

“She comes tonight?” Claire asked curiously to her boss. “I can’t believe you actually signed up for something like this.”

“I saw her a couple years ago on the E.R. and I felt bad for her. She was hopping from one foster parent to the other and that’s no life for a kid. She seems like a great person so why not help her and let her stay with me until they have a proper home for her.”

Claire couldn’t help but fall in love more with her boss. “I think that is the sweetest thing you have ever said. I never knew you had this side to you.” She nudged him.

He rolled his eyes and showed a picture of you to the rest of his colleagues. “I have her room all ready but I’m really nervous.”

The whole room erupted in a symphony of awes.

“You’re so cute,” Claire smiled wickedly as she messed with Neil’s doctor’s coat.

Neil rolled his eyes, “I’m just saying, this is a new thing for me. I’ve never had a child. I don’t know what she’ll like, whats her favorite food? What’s her favorite color? What does she like to do?”

“Well, thats the beauty of it. You’ll get to talk to her and know her. Maybe nobody has really asked her that question.”

“I want to be the perfect foster dad. Is that too much to ask?”

Claire placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. She wished in her life somebody like Neil was in her life. A father figure that was actually caring. “Nobody is perfect Neil. What matters is that you try your hardest and listen to her thoughts.”

Neil got dinner ready for you. He ordered from everywhere, not knowing what you enjoyed eating.

He was setting up the table when the doorbell rang.

Neil closed his eyes, getting himself prepared and ran to the door. As he opened it up you were there. His pride and joy.

“Hey Y/N! Come in, come in.” He brought his arm up as he welcomed you into his home.

You looked around suspiciously. For a single man he lived quite nice. You knew he was a doctor but you didn’t know he lived this richly. You met him a couple of times during your trips to the E.R. and always opened up about your life in foster care but you never knew he was going to take you in one day. You were very surprised and shocked to see him make such an effort. But you were over foster parents. They let you down and didn’t truly care about you. Nobody really wanted a kid like you, nobody really wanted Y/N L/N.

With no enthusiasm you brought your suitcase to the entrance, “thanks. Want me to put this in a room?”

“Yeah, we’ll put it in your room.”

Your room? You thought. Not many foster parents gave you your own room. They always stuck you with the other children or put you on the couch. It was always the same.

Neil led you up the stairs, picking up your suitcase for you. He led you to a big room that was spacious. It was plain but very beautiful with cream colored bed decorations and a light grey wall.

“I didn’t want to decorate it and paint it in case you didn’t like it. You can pick what you want if you’d like tomorrow. And you have your own bathroom.”

You were stone cold, speechless. You never had this love before. You felt your heart was about to burst. “This is all for me?” Tears blurred your vision.

“Yeah, I hope you like it.”

“It’s great, thank you for this.” It was a beautiful room. It was more than you could ask. Nobody ever did this for you. You touched the sheets and they felt like silk between your fingers. Neil gave you the best of the best. This meant a lot but you were still not certain. You still had doubts.

“I got dinner in case you were hungry, its downstairs.”

You were hungry and your stomach growled. You were led downstairs and on the kitchen table was a feast. There were every type of dishes there. Your mouth was salivating as you smelled the aroma.

“I didn’t know what you liked so I got everything.” Neil chuckled bashfully. He was such a dad and he was realizing this.

You laughed as you dug into everything, “can I say that all this is my favorite?”

Neil sat down beside you, “I’ll make note of that.”

Maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad, you thought. Maybe this was going to be fun and someone in your life you could depend on and trust. Someone who would protect you no matter what.

You munched away as you stared more at his house. He lived in a mansion. You were astounded as to how one person could live like this. “Your house is amazing. When I grow up I want to live like this.”

Neil chuckled, “being in a house like this, when you’re one person its not all that its cracked up to be. Trust me.”

You played around with your dish as the air became awkward. “So whats the grossest surgery you’ve ever done?”

Neil wiped his mouth and sat back with his hands cupping the back of his head, “oh you wouldn’t believe this.”

“Try me doctor.”

Neil smiled, “well this one time this old lady came in with pain in her stomach well right when we lifted her dress she had waste come all out of her and onto me. It was like an explosion, right before my eyes.” Neil started to giggle loudly as the memory came back to him. “That’s when I was new.”

You covered your mouth from the disgust. “You’re right, I don’t believe it. That’s so disgusting oh my gosh.” You pushed your food away. “I think I lost my appetite.”

“Now what about you? Are you like the kids these days that go and dance on Tik Tok? Or are about sipping that tea.”

The drink you were sipping almost came out of your nose. You busted out laughing hysterically. “I can’t believe this, you are such a dad that’s its almost cringy.”

“Cringy? You lost me.” It was the truth, Neil was lost. As a foster parent he didn’t know what kids were into these days (he just did a quick search before you came) and he wanted to try his hardest. He wanted to be the best for you, he wanted to prove to you that he was serious about this.

“You got a lot to learn. But no, I’m not those types of kids. I instead like to read and draw, it brings my mind out of reality and into my own imagination of something better.”

“I do the same with surgery.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well I block out the rest of the world when I am performing surgery. This person is depending on me to help them so they can feel better and get back to their old lives. I hope to save them from reality in doing my best in saving their lives.”

“Wow,” you looked at his hands resting on the table. Those hands did miracles. “I would like to do that when I’m older. I want to help someone too.”

“Good goal.”

You were too much of a coward to open yourself up to love this person as your father. You were afraid he would leave you and not want you like the others. You couldn’t trust him. You blocked yourself from the world and nothing, nobody could stop the feeling.

“Why don’t you trust me?” Neil patted your head. He wrapped you in his coat and hugged you tight, protective.

You had tears threatening to spill over. You wouldn’t let yourself succumb to the love that Neil was giving you. You couldn’t let yourself fall for something fake and then go through it all over again. Your heart couldn’t take it.

You pushed Neil away, wiping your eyes. “No! Okay, no! I appreciate all that you did but they are going to take me away and they are going to tell you reasons to leave me. You are going to leave me. I won’t let that happen.”

“I’m not going to do any of that. Y/N I would never leave you sweetheart. I know it is hard to trust me but I am here for and I always will be. You didn’t such harsh treatment and I’m sorry for that but I am going to help you with it and I want to be the one to raise you and be there for you. It’s a hard thing to ask but please trust me on this. Please.”

You shook your head, “I can’t trust no more.”

You put on your hoodie and ran in the pouring rain.

“Y/N! Y/N!”

You didn’t stop. The rain was cold and you almost forgot how you got into the conversation with Neil.

It was about a woman.

You weren’t jealous, you just had been through something like this already. Foster parent finds a new match and then they want to start their own family, without you. It was an ongoing and continuous thing.

You didn’t know where you were going and what you were to do but you couldn’t go back and probably Neil wouldn't want you back. You wished the new family all the love in the world.

The rain made the sidewalks slippery. It was coming down cats and dogs. You could barely make out what was in front of you. Rain dripped down your nose and onto your drenched clothes.

You needed to go across the busy street in order to get to the other side. You thought the cars stopped. You went ahead and your life flashed before your eyes. As soon as your shoes touched the middle of the crosswalk a car tried to push the brakes but the road was so slippery it skidded to you and hit you so hard your body flew high and far. It all seemed in slow motion. What you didn’t know was Neil had ran after you and was on the side walk opposite from you crying and sobbing a mess.

“Y/N no please no. Please sweetheart please don’t leave me like this.” He cradled your bruised face. Your eyes closed as you were knocked out and blood dripped down your nose.

Neil brought you into his car and drove you fast, straight to the hospital to run tests and perform surgery on you.

“Are you sure you can take this Dr. Melendez?” Clair asked, worried for her friend.

“Just please let us do this! Please! Every second that passes by with us talking we are wasting time! I need to do this, I need to make sure she is okay!” Neil had tears stream down his wet cheeks. You were his life. You were his daughter.

As Neil performed surgery on you he couldn’t help but whisper, “please don’t leave me Y/N, please don’t leave me.” He saw your precious face that made him smile. There was no way he would leave you. You were his family.

His hands shook as he grabbed onto the scalpel, he gained his composure and needed to save your life. There were no if and’s or buts you were going to live and he was going to make sure of this.

He completed the surgery and you were in your bed, out and quiet which was different for him since you were always talking and laughing and being chaotic.

He was there with you through it all.

He held onto your hand as you laid there. “Y/N if you can hear me know that you are my kid okay. I don’t plan on giving you up. I want you to be part of the family. I’m sorry if I didn’t show that in my actions or prove it but there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you. I don’t see you as a foster kid, I see you as my daughter. Forever and always, I love you.” He cried softly.

Your eyes fluttered open. With a weak voice you said, “I love you too dad.”

Neil opened his eyes. He thought this was dream. Was it real? You called him dad. His heart almost exploded. “Y/N oh my God you’re awake! Oh thank God.” He embraced you tightly, almost fretting to let go. He kissed the top of your head as tears dropped lightly on your skin.

“I’m sorry dad for making you scared and for running away. I was just afraid of trusting and opening my heart but I don’t want to run away anymore and I don’t want to be alone anymore. Can I stay dad?”

Neil cupped your face. “Can you stay? Of course you can stay sweetheart. Don’t apologize. You are more brave and strong than you know.”

You chuckled as tears blurred your vision as well, “thanks dad for saving my life. You saved my life twice now.”

“Twice?”

You hugged Neil, “yeah you saved my life by performing surgery and you saved my life by becoming my dad. Thank you, forever and ever.

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#I DIDNT SPELL CHECK SO IF SOMETHINGS MISSPELLED PLS LMK AND I WILL FIX IT #POOR BBY Y/N BUT SHE GETS PAPA NEIL CUZ HE IS AN ANGEL AND I LOVE HIM SM AND THEY DID HIM DIRTY #the good doctor #tgd #fanfiction #one-shot #x reader #the good doctor fanfiction #the good doctor imagine #neil melendez x reader #neil melendez x teen! platonic reader #teen reader #race neutral reader #neil melendez imagine #requested #hey dad

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daughterofhel · 3 years

Text

My icon died last night.

The little black and white cat, Auk (or-ick). A silly name from a badly remembered name from my childhood.

He was pretty much deaf; car got him.

I haven’t seen him since I left Texas, as I moved for a year to VA before finally moving to be with my wife in Vento. One of my guy friends family took him in on their ranch.

It was fitting; I did get Auk from a ranch. He was used to it, loved it even. And this was without the competition of an unhealthy amount of breeding stays like the ones I grabbed him and Ivy up from. I could only take two, my friend the same.

Funny. I had originally gone there to see the birth of a colt only to leave with a cat. Return the next day and get one more, a friend for my tiny runt of a thing.

And who should but all demand it be him to leave with me but Auk? The friendliest of cats that I’ve ever had the pleasure to be around. He also thwarted my attempts at having two girl cats. He was insistent to leave with me and you don’t argue when you’re chosen you know?

I won’t detail the tears following or the rough road and chaos that went on, but many double shifts back to back to back endlessly, a medicated clumsy grandmother with rapidly failing health, and complex roommate situations, I just wasn’t able to provide the needed time and care for my cats.

I cried the entire 45 minute drive to my buddys property when he said he could take them in. I had to pull over twice. They also cried the entire time, being afraid of the car, which made it harder. My buddy, He was the same guy who rescued a big pup clearly abandoned some years back. I had helped train him to not jump on people and other stuff. His folks also owned a longhorn ranch, lots and lots of space.

Those cats deserved better and this was a familiar element, now neutered, vaccinated, and with no stray competition and the dog was so careful. But god. I never wanted to say goodbye to my cats. It didn’t matter though, what I wanted; they needed care and time I wasn’t able to keep providing.

So I dropped them off. As expected, Ivy kept close but never got too close to the family. She simply doesn’t trust; I’ve no idea why such a little thing bonded instantly with me and remained quite the fixed cuddle bug. But she had. I felt worse about it with her than Auk if I’m to be honest.

Auk loved attention. Loved fetch. Belly rubs. This cat was a classic dog and a huge whore for attention. XD He essentially made himself at home and lavished any and all attention, to which my buddies mother instantly fell for this fuzzy dorks charms. He has been well cared for.

I know younger me could’ve and should’ve done better when I got these cats. Mind you, I’ve been gone for over 10 years now, so it has been quite some time. I’m doing what I wish I could have done for my cats then with the two rescues we got last year here.

I was young and working so many hours for nearly no profit after stuff was paid, even living at home and with roommates. I couldn’t afford the extra vet fees I needed or the fanciest of foods or any of that. I loved them, and I felt them being with me instead of the half starving state they were in from constantly competing with so many other cats, was still a better option for them. I still was at least able to do some of the important visits for them.

I cleared their fleas and earmites. I never did get rid of Ivys worms, though I desperately tried. I tried so many ways to get this pill into that cat. Even crushed into wet food. Friends helping to wrap and hold her to make her swallow. All the tricks we found, failed. She just. She wouldn’t take it. And I didn’t have the cash to go every single day and time she needed a dose to a pet clinic. I had checked more than once. It was so much money.

Older, better situated now.. I’ve been able to do right by the cats, Nyx and Tivali, that I have now.

We even saved Nyx’s eye. We have a system to give her her seizure medicine every 12 hours. They’re both fully up to date with their shots and are fixed. Ears totally clean. Monthly newly added anti flea tick collars.

The best food we can reasonably find at the local pet shop; their pelts are beautiful, soft, shiny, and they never smell.

We’ve even found a biodegradable corn based litter we can flush which has been the greatest find.

We get semi regular check ups on our girls and they’re doing just fine now. I’m still proud about saving Nyx’s eye. It was a tedious ordeal. 3-4 times a day we had to clean and medicate a cats eye. We got good at it even if she wasn’t fond of it. Thankfully the vitamins they required were like treats. Even the antibiotics from the colds they had from the shelter.

I miss Auk. And Ivy. And I wish I could’ve not only given them the life I’ve given my current cats now, (I’ve constructed basket beds, hammocks, a whole canopy jungle gym and rope bridge to boot for them with my wife!), but I wish I could have been the one to have them in my life still. I know it was not possible. It wouldn’t have been possible.

But I think of them. A lot. And I knew it was inevitable. Auk would’ve been well over 13 or so years by now. A little old but could’ve lived longer yet for sure. My buddy didn’t mention he has gone deaf. Of course he rarely goes home himself; I don’t blame him. Life’s complicated.

I have mourned these two cats multiple times now. So I’m not thrown into tears upon this news, I’ve cried plenty over the years already. But I’m still sad to hear that fuzzy delight has passed on. I won’t ask, but I hope, and believe, the accident was a quick end for such a friendly guy.

I’ll mourn him eventually in full. I know I will. But considering this is the fourth major bad news I’ve gotten in less than a month and most of it a week, I thought to write about it. If only to keep sane.

May I not receive the same news of my grandmother or my sister who both remain in the hospital.

And god. May my mother stop forcing me to recall and talk about our shared trauma under my father and just keep me up to date on my families health. I don’t want to be crushed under this suffocating vice on my neck that makes me hesitate to call and see my family. I know she needs to vent. And god. I try to let her. I do. I try to be kind; she needs it.

But it isn’t the time and place when I’m trying to figure out if my grandmother is dying or getting better. I shouldn’t have to receive that confirmation, be granted a brief video called hello and check in, with the price of an hour long dredge through a past I personally have gone to two different types of therapy through to try and cope with. Which, only to some degree, have helped.

One of the last longer calls we had she all but said she hoped her theories on my father possible molesting me were true, so, you know, that would be one more trauma we had in common. She went on and on, even trying to provide loose evidence to her theory. Troubling sentences I would say in my rare visits. Etc. She just. Wouldn’t. Stop. And that was after an hour of recalling how terrible her life was with my father and the abuse, the screaming, the terror, the hiding, the injuries, all of it. As if I wasn’t left to live my life with this very man she said her three years with ruined her more than all her past shit combined.

She assured me she was a good mother who tried. And honestly. No. But I do believe she tried. But she was already weak emotionally and mentally and my father wrecked what was left. She left me sometimes for a couple days lock in that house when I was in diapers. You don’t forget that shit. I’m still scared of the dark. I can’t reason with myself on it. But being mad about all of it doesn’t change anything and would hurt a woman already broken. Why would I do that.

Still. It bothers me. So fucking much. But she’s such a fragile person in a fragile emotional state with everything else on top. She’s been heavily depressed for many many years and it’s a bunch of other stuff that spirals and honestly, at this point, she’s toxic even to herself. I’ve tried working on it with her but it matters not if she’s not willing to work on it too. I don’t know my mother besides her many traumas. We’ve been separated and estranged for most of my life. Unless I was physically able to actually be there and provide a use.

But that’s par for the course; no one will have you around if you’re unable to provide something for it. My wife’s the first person who genuinely seems to enjoy having me around just because and wants nothing more. I do stuff of course; but with her I am not afraid a slip up could mean everything it taken away and lost. I can forget the dishes once or had a bad mental health day and stay in bed without it having catastrophic consequences. She’s such a wonderful kind woman; I cannot help stressing over how to repay her.

I try and I’ve expressed my distraught on the topic and though she always seems baffled and confused about my insistence that I should be doing far more, that lass doesn’t agree at all. It’s her parents home so I am not able to freely run the house as I would on our own, as I’m able and have in many places, so I’m often less useful with the restrictions. She’s also use to the flow and swing of things and has things half done before it’s being asked.

Our own place will make life smoother and calmer for both of us; most importantly her. I’ve watched this family, sweet, but absolutely tone deaf to how many and often their demands are tossed to her. All the other kids moved out with partners. Hell, the oldest s child basically lives here. Our own hurdle with raising a kid who we don’t have the final say on any single thing. His grandparents are enablers cuz they don’t want to hear any loud noises, no matter what. And that causes strain when the kid can and does get anything and everything as long as he kicks up a fit. And he sure as hell does. There are days it’s so bad my wife’s in tears. And that pisses me off. The kids a good person, but the fact no one will actually parent and draw definite lines and be firm with No’s can also make him horrible too.

I’ve to deal with the chess match that is my father. I often call him my own personal Devil. He kind of is. But one I’m familiar enough with at this point in my life. I know where and when to cut my losses, where to step around, when I need to swallow my pride or the easily seen through lies, and nod my head. If he was all terrible, I could have cut him from my life. But no one ever really is. And I do know I owe it to the man; he has helped tremendously in my life as much as he’s been a big problem of it. I know his biggest fear is to be alone and forgotten. I wouldn’t do that, not even to the devil.

I need some bland news. Not thrilling. Not depressing. Just some ‘hey that happened’ ‘oh cool.’ Kind of news. Just a small reprieve.

Im. Scared. Of what’s next.

I. Know that things are teetering dangerously into a very very tragic terrible story on my mothers end. I know her husbands already super suicidal. My half brothers severely autistic, non verbal, among a few other things and will require his whole life to have someone be there for him. He’s not stupid, and I hate when people treat him as so, but he is absolutely unable to care for himself. He doesn’t have the right motorskills even, though we’ve gone to many different places to try and help him find ways to do actions in his own way that still get the same result. I admire how he’s such a positive little man, generally not just happy, but delighted. I aspire to look at the world like he does. He reminds me to try. I do love that about him.

He is, however, a Big boy, 15 now, and growing. He’s also very strong now. My mother is getting to an age where his, as well call em happy slaps, are really hurting her. He is generally good about slapping your hands and not your back if you provide them. But when he is upset he is a shover; one bad fall could really cause a lot of chaos for my mother with her health. The husband spends most of his time locked in his room.

My half sister is epileptic. They have done tests for years and can’t figure out all her triggers or the whys. They just sometimes stop for a long time then suddenly happen. She’s 16, turning 17 soon. And I don’t even know if she’s going to be, since my mother won’t let me know. And there are large gaps from my sister being on tech due to concerns of what triggered her seizure this time so she’s often removed from electronic devices for a time.

When I had turned 21, my mother and her husband tried to have me sign a paper to become legal guardian of my half siblings, should something happen to them, so the kids didn’t get separated.

At that time, I was still taking care of my fathers mother along with working at a shit job, and had a house full of temporary roommates who I had offered rooms to as a sort of safe house for them. I have a knack for finding people from broken homes, what can I say? With the house my father and I built, we had space, so I used it. I was able to help the girls get out of toxic places, get on their feet, and move on. Not all of them always. But it did generally work out. One has a boyfriend who was growing worse to her on top of getting more and more into hard drugs while also she dealing with an abusive aunt who got worse once her mother died of cancer. So she was stuck with the terrible boyfriend. I had her stay with me as soon as I heard.

Another was complicated, but generally revolved around the alcoholic mother and the many, shady, men in and out of the house. The dangers of that alone were.. problematic without the friend also being suicidal and not taken seriously. I’ve stayed many times with her to just hang out, clean, cook, or even read a book cuz she just wanted to hear someone talking and such. You know? Until eventually I had her move in with me too.

Another’s mothers died of a cancer and dad an alcoholic; not abusive, he just became childlike and super forgetful. To a hurtful degree in his totally dependent state, whenever he was home. Plus their whole little trailer smelled of piss. And her boyfriend (they’re married with kids and happy now) was in jail. He had a bad past but had cleaned up his act quite well, but. Well that’s complicated. We all know that the police don’t squint at details of any issue if the accused has a problematic past.

I had two different girls with trouble at home who were being used by their family to constantly work, clean, and pay for everything.

I had an ex and her girlfriend with problematic homophobic parents who were terrible and semi violent so I had them stay with us so they could be together somewhere safer.

I did not. At all. Have the assured means to also be a parent of ten children with very different needs nor any medical benefits to help out with.

I also knew, that, with how my mothers husband was, if he had some guarantees for his children’s safety, he would likely end his life if he could. He’s been so close so many times. If signed this paper, he would have the last big most important concern that’s kept him from.. I just. I didn’t want him to do it. I selfishly didn’t want to be responsible for my siblings that would take away any bit of time I had for myself away. If anything happened, I would not abandon and forget my siblings. That’s absurd. But my mother implied heavily she wanted to be sure of that. And thus this paper.

I was struggling to find aid for college so I could go to school (never got to, by the way. Minus two classes in total. Aced them both, but it doesn’t matter. Credits in the wind). I was already dealing with my grandmother. The girls I chose to help. My shit job. My fathers temper and his horrible horrible ‘on again off again’ girlfriend. The chaos that alone committed.

I was busy providing a safe space in my home and making sure it stayed that way for the rare times trouble makers made the mistake of stepping up to my door to try and harass my girls.

I often worked 10 days in a row before a day off. Many of those days often had double shifts which were 16 hours. Sometimes I got an hour nap on the double shifts.

I just couldn’t do it.

And now. I remember something that came to mind back then that comes back to mind now. My moms husband adores my grandma. She’s been better to him than his own mother. She’s dying. He’s not taking it well and his mental health has always been pretty low and in the last couple years, already dangerously rock bottom. I’ll admit, same.

His daughter is now in the hospital. My brother is smart but there are some things we can’t really explain for him to get. He understands something is wrong but not sure what and it upsets him. He doesn’t like change and gets super fussy for it. Which can be taxing and hours and days and weeks of it. Grandmas been in the hospital for a couple more or more now. She coded a few days ago but they got her back.

If grandma dies. If something happens to my sister…

God. I don’t see that man sticking around.

And with my mom isolated. A lot of it her doing with her own family but also a good part of it being dumb petty bs of other folks that have no reason to behave like that (a whole drama I don’t have the energy to keep up with..). I just.

I see it as a domino effect of terrible terrible events I don’t want to write.

My mothers side im not very close to. I don’t blame my cousins, we were kids ajd our meetings were brief as they were. But the adults kept their distance with me. No one expected me to survive and decided it was easier to not get attached. To not get involved with me, and by extension, the devil himself, my father. So I never got the chance to know that family. Even when I tried.

So the only family I do have some ties to ajd know, is in a hospital bed, or on my dads side, and they’re dying to. And I get it… that at a certain age in life, many of the people around you start to. It’s just life. Ajd it sucks. And I miss having a best friend. I miss having friends who just seem to like to have me around. Want to have me around.

And I wonder if the friends I thought I made with my roommates were just because I provided something for them. Sure we laughed a lot, we cried over shared traumas, celebrated holidays together so as to not be alone.

But not a one speaks to me now. And hey. That’s also life. But it makes me feel pretty shitty; every where I look in the past, I can’t see any relationship, family, partner, friendship, that ever had me around unless I was providing services they wanted and needed. And I don’t mean the natural give and take.

I’m aware that I’m not the friend folks have around. I’m a fun distraction at best and have been told and reminded as such. I feel like shit cuz my wife’s wonderful and the best person in my life, and yet I still mourn having close friends to hang with. I miss gaming together the most. Or the bullshitting. Sharing food.

I’m not a nice person. I’m working on it. I am. I’ve also, for years, been working on my own personal problems so as to not bring them into even conversations. I don’t know what I am doing wrong but I just.. can’t seem to keep anyone around. And frankly.

I find myself crying about it a lot with no idea what to do.

And. I’m burnt out.

I don’t want to make friends anymore. And yet I still crave it. Which sucks. I can’t stop seeming to want that. And I keep trying. And trying.

I’m trying to accept and be happy with any bit of time I get from the few friends who talk to me. I try to take my chances where I can to hang out (online, as they’re all distance by now), cuz I know it’s a short window and I’ll be lucky to get a next time in the near future.

Online is harder to provide a use, and once the ‘honeymoon phase’ of the friendship winds down, some drop off the map entirely. A few abruptly. And I just. That’s fucked me ho a ton. I can’t even express how many hours I stay sitting. Thinking. Unable to understand what I am not doing or what I am.

It’s a pity party. I know. But it’s fine. I’m still the only one at it and though I’m quite forward even with nerves eating away at me, I still just don’t know how to keep anyone in my life.

It’s taken almost 6 years for me to relax enough to believe my wife will, in fact, stick around.

But at this point in time, I’ve realized, on a note I just keep getting really sad over, that the bits of friendship I’ll get to experience with people, will be brief, snippets, and frankly, only if I am providing something they’re not getting.

I’m essentially the magazine next to the toilet when you have a bad bad stomach bug and your phones dead.

Man’s that’s.. probably my own doing. I know I’m a lot of woe is me in here. And it’s a post talking to me, so I’m indulging in it. I absolutely can’t out loud or in life. I’m working on just.. trying to feel instead of ignoring it. Per my therapists suggestions. So I feel fucking overwhelmed, sad, and alone. Isolated. Heavily.

Ignorance is bliss for real. I wish I wasn’t so aware that I was the friend you go to when all options are down and you’re bored. When you are in a bind and need a safe spot (I don’t mind that one but it does suck that it’s the only time some folks pop back in or up). That if I’m not working then no one even has a small little want to just say hi. I wish I had people who just wanted to say hi because they just.. missed me? I gues?

I wish I knew how to be better as a person and a friend. I thought I was making strides on that. I really had. And yet.

Here I am. Just.

Bitching to the void. Becuase my wife doesn’t need me to add more to her life with her father (finally back from the hospital after surgery) and his health concerned along with everyone else’s and the own sets of ordeals here. I don’t need her to fret over me.

She’s needed distraction and I’ve left her alone for a couple weeks now to her drawing. Probably one of the best things I did do for her was clean up a space for a literal drawing room for her. She’s happier for it. People compliment her art and she rather enjoys the well deserved attention.

I personally would love to have her around more. But I’m having a lot of bad shit days. Weeks at this point. And I’m using my energy to be useful in setting the table or doing the dishes, the cats, playing with the nephew, etc.

All I want to do is sleep.

Frankly. I’m tired of waking up.

But for her. I will.

#void screaming #ignore

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