#could probably keep ranting but whatever lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

evanpeterswhoresblog · 11 months

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Office Secrets

Luke Cooper x f!reader

TW: smut, p in v, unprotected, fingering… lmk if there’s anything else lol

Word count: 1526

Friendly note, I wrote this all in one day so it’s probably not the best but I’ve been so obsessed w Evan lately I just needed to write lol Enjoy!!!

~~~

“So, who wants to bet the two newbies are doing it?” Meredith says as she puts coins into one of the vending machines.

“They so are,” Kevin says. “Have you seen the way they look at each other it’s like- Pam and Jim.”

“Hey!”

Angela shakes her head. “You people are disgusting… but I wouldn’t doubt it. I’ve seen them flirting on multiple occasions.”

“This is all circumstantial, it doesn’t mean they’re sleeping together,” Oscar argues.

“I would bet they are,” Phillas says with a laugh. “I mean I remember how fun it was being all secret with Bob, it’s so thrilling.”

Pam glances at you in the annex, Luke’s leaning back on your desk, smiling as you two talk. She looks back to the group and shrugs. “It’s possible they are.”

~~~

“Hey y/n, do you think you could make some copies for me?” Pam asks as you’re walking by.

“Yeah of course, double or single sided?” You reply with a smile.

“Double please.” She hands you the original.

You walk to the copier, but as you’re about to open it, Luke slips in front of you.

“Luke I was about to make copies,” you say, annoyed.

“So do I, you aren’t the only person in the office who needs to get stuff done,” he laughs.

“Since when have you ever had things to get done? You’re the laziest person here.”

“That’s hostile,” he replies, turning around to give you a smirk. “I might have to report you to HR.”

“Just please hurry up,” you mumble.

“Anything for you babe.” He winks.

You turn to the camera and stare, almost at your limit with this boy.

~~~

“I just don’t understand men sometimes it’s like, he’s so different when we’re alone yet in public he wants to be the biggest ass ever,” you rant to the camera, you’re in the hallway near the elevator where no one will hear you. “Sometimes I just want to knee him in the balls and get on with my day.”

“If he’s so annoying why do you sleep with him?”

You frown. “He’s really good at that stuff, most assholes are honestly.”

~~~

You’re at the vending machine getting a snack when you feel arms snake around your waist. You quickly turn around and push him away.

“Luke stop it we can’t be doing this here,” you whisper.

He looks out the windows then back at you. “Nobody’s around, come on just one kiss. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since last night baby.”

You and Luke were hired about three weeks ago now, both just interns to help out with the little things around the office. At first you thought Luke was an idiot slack off, but after a week of him constantly flirting with you, you decided he wasn’t that bad of a guy and of course he’s gorgeous. And, after one night where he gave you a ride home this simple work crush turned into casual sex.

You made Luke promise to keep it a secret, you didn’t want anyone at the office to think your personal life would interfere with you doing your job. So, far you don’t think anyone has figured it out, and your glad.

“Don’t talk like that here,” you say, giving him a slight glare. “We made a deal.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“I’m serious Luke, imagine if Michael found out. He’d make it a whole thing.”

“It probably already is a thing, Jim and Pams was.”

You scoff at him. “Okay, that doesn’t mean this has to be.”

“Whatever,” he says as he begins to walk away. “See you later.”

You give an annoyed look to the camera and shake your head before returning to your previous activity.

~~~

“Listen, y/n is a good girl I guess, I just wish she’d stop acting like the office finding out about our thing is the worst possibility imaginable,” Luke tells the crew outside the break room.

“What do you think would happen if they found out?”

“I don’t know, they’d give us weird looks. It doesn’t really matter it’s not like me and her are gonna be working here forever. At least I know I’m not, not sure what her life plans are.”

~~~

You stare at the clock and sigh, still a whole nother hour left at the office. This whole day has been terrible, mostly due to Luke. You don’t understand why he’s acting so annoying today. Usually he’s decent toward you, probably because of what he wants from you the second work ends. You turn back to your desk and start to organize papers, deciding Luke isn’t important.

A few have passed when Luke appears beside you. He leans back on your desk, one of his hands gripping the edge. You try to ignore him, keeping your attention on the stack of paper you’ve been messing with. Luke doesn’t let you ignore him forever though.

“Can you come with me somewhere where we can speak privately… away from the cameras.”

You look up at him. Is this it? Is he really going to break it off at work? You can’t believe it. You want to give him a piece of your mind, so you slightly nod and get up, following him out of the annex and down the hall to one of the stock rooms. You’re ready to start giving it to him but before you can he smashes his lips on yours.

At first, you’re caught off guard, he’s never kissed you at work before. You don’t hesitate to kiss him back however. He backs you up till the back of your legs hit a spare desk. You let him guide you onto it, your kiss turning into something more.

He bites down on your lip, his hands roaming up and down the sides of your body. You have to admit, you’d been craving this too. Even though you saw each other last night. Luke was the best you’d ever had, how were you supposed to not want him again? Even though he’s been annoying you all day you can’t help but melt into the palm of his hand, he’s just so damn attractive.

“Luke, we can’t do this at work,” you whisper, the sensible part of you taking over.

“Nobody will know, come on baby, I’ve been thinking of you all day. I need you,” he replies.

Your stomach fills with butterflies at his words. He knows exactly how to persuade you. You fall back on the desk as he kisses down your neck, Your legs wrap around his waist, he makes you feel so good. He brings his lips back up to yours as one of his hands starts to slip up your skirt and under your panties.

He starts to rub small circles on your clit; you to moan into his mouth. He smirks against your mouth. You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer, you love the feeling of his body against yours. It’s the best you’ve ever felt.

“You’re already so wet baby,” he mumbles on your lips.

“Luke,” you moan.

“Do you want it baby?”

You nod, moving one of your hands down to rub the bulge in his pants. He grins at you and removes his fingers, beginning to undo his belt and fly. In seconds you feel his tip brushing against your entrance. He leans back over you as he begins to slowly thrust inside of you. You bite down on your lip and close your eyes, the familiar feeling of him filling you taking over.

You throw your head back as he starts fucking you. The sound of the desk hitting the wall doesn’t even register in your head. You’re too engulfed in how good Luke’s dick feels inside you, hitting that special spot that makes your legs shake. His head rests in the crook of your neck, he’s moaning and whispering all the dirty things he wants to do to you. It’s all too good to be true.

Eventually though, you feel that tightening in your stomach, your orgasm approching. Luke must realize this because he doesn’t stop his violent thrusts for even a second. You hold on to him tightly, biting down on his clothed shoulder as you finally cum. He finishes with you, pushing himself so far inside you he’s hitting your cervix.

He lays on you for a few seconds before pulling himself up enough to look down at you. His chest is still heaving as he speaks in a soft voice, “I really like you y/n.”

“I really like you too Luke,” you say with a weak smile.

Both of you get yourselves decent fast, you’ve been away for at least fifteen minutes by now. You give Luke one last kiss before exiting the small room alone, he promised to wait a minute or too before following.

As you sit at your desk and resume your previous activities, Luke walks by you, sending a quick wink before disappearing into the main office. You give a small stare into one of the cameras, your face turning bright red. This was only the beginning.

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sc4llywag · 4 months

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Since I got Tumblr and have free range to rant however I want, its time for the Assassin's Creed main characters and how they walk post!!!

With each of the games, they change the main characters walking animation to fit their vibe and I need to be able to study them beheehe

Desmond

I don't have too much to say about Desmond's other than his is simple and similar to Ezio's and Altaïr's and I like to think that this is due to the bleeding effect(it happened to me too I walk like the assassin's all the time) his is a little more confined and he keeps his arms closer to himself so he's very typical in the way he walks

Altaïr

In his walk he has a sway to his hips and steady hands(probably to keep himself ready for any assassination), but goddamn the SWAY I never noticed it.

His shoulders also sway with his walk and I love how fluid he is in general, this ties back to his robes for me and how flowy they are to show the grace of an assassin in high profile but when low profile they stay to his sides and he's all in the shadows and I REALLY love that about him.

Ezio

This gif is all I could find so i can't really remember if Ezio's walk is different in Ac2 from Altaïr's because ubisoft is the king of recycling things but whatever. He still has the outward stance but I do notice his head is pointed low to try and keep himself hidden(shadows shit be like) but ofc hes holding the apple here so it's hard to tell if he's trying to swing his arm a lot lol, anyway body language is important to Ezio so hes very good at looking broody as well as fluid in his movements

Connor

(Walk Cycle Research | PKlover4078)

My man my man my man my man😍‼️‼️

The way Connor walks with his hands stretched out and then clenching his fists every moment because he's always ready for a fight goddamn this MF could take me in an alleyway and I'd be happy. I'd like to note with this gif, it doesn't show his slow slow walk and I remember it pretty well, he has a slight cautious aura in his walk, he's really careful in his foot placement(I think) and he's super awesome and I love him a lot. Since we have him running I'd like to talk about that too. He has such an efficient sprint it's so mesmerizing, he keeps his head low and just fuckin vrooms across the colonies<3

Aveline

You can barely see her here bc the damn community doesn't care for Aveline much but I like her even tho I haven't played Liberation, I enjoy the way she walks in a proper manner and she's got that strut the runway strut is everything. I also like how she has a wider swing in her arms, more carefree and comfortable.

Edward

This is such a great quality gif thanks so much Ac fandom!!

Anyway, I really love the difference in Edwards walk compared to the rest of the assassins because he's a pirate, he hasn't had the teaching of grace and secrecy. Therefore his walk is staggering in his footwork but still proper bc he's a sword fighter and very good at it. In a longer gif you'd be able to tell but his footing is a little messy, showing that drunken sailor pirate personality shows in his walk. He has a close arm swing due to him always needing to be close to his weapons, ready for a fight(like his grandson<3)

Haytham

I can barely see how he's walking but I'm pretty sure he had his hand on his sword hilt which says so much abt his character, again always being ready for a fight. He has a very straight posture due to his pompous nature, quick in his form to be efficient because why walk if you don't look proper and efficient?

Shay

Ok he's a Templar and so is Haytham but fuck you I love them.

His walk is so GOOD his walk has a heavy step and he's very prominent, got that straight posture again, not much to say about his arm sway other than the added shoulder sway, love that for him bc he's just so intimidating.

(For reasons I'm not doing Arno, Evie, Jacob, Kassandra, and Eivor since I haven't played their games)

Bayek

Bayek's walk is very different from every other assassin and that makes me love him so much more. He feels very carefree and relaxed but when in combat good lord does he go off!! He puts more sway in his arms than his hips and that's probably why he has a combat centered walk, like Edward.

If you've reached the end thank you for reading my rambling ass get over excited over walk cycle animations :) follow for more rambling!!

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complete-clownery · 4 months

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Not me deciding that I wanna figure out how does Macaques dojo work, cuz I couldnt seem to find any ideas of it on the internet lol

Okay so long long LONG rant:

Ik that in canon the whole place looks kinda-- moldy and shit and I get the lot of hc about how Macaque probably doesnt even live there since its in a very industrial outer neighborhood of Megaplois, and also it probably isnt really decorated or looks like someone is living in there at all, but I like to think that he has standards and they put like 272636373 nois cancelation seals on their bedroom so he can sleep camly when he actually can sleep (since in my hc Macaque suffers from insomnia (its a pretty common hc tho, but you get it)) and I think the outer circle of Megaplois is even tho industral and under constructuion on most parts, its probably more quiet than downtown

And I also like to imagine, Macaque even tho if not commited to a place will make it more homy. But looking at my reference pictures, in the dojo there were also a lot of posters and paintings (and in MKAGC Macaque did mention he might have a poster of wukong soooo~~)

For the layout I went after whatever felt right, since I had like 4 pictures to piece together a two-story house with a gallery(??) so its actually just me deciding what I want and where I wanna put it

(Here are the screenshots from lmk s1ep9 I used:)

Okay Okay if you couldnt tell, for some reason im really hyped about this stuff so im going to lead you trough my thougtprocess, when imagining this whole thing, in order from ground level to gallery

1. Ground level:

Ahh yes ground level: the problem child

(Im going to keep it somewhat brief here cuz I wrote a shit ton of explanations for it, but that somehow got deleted which I am super pissed about btw)

So I saw that a lot of hc with Macaques place are mostly that first floor is the dojo and the second floor is the living area, buuut~~ based on the screenshots of the series that doesnt make any sense. My reasoning? Simple really, its bc you can see the ceiling If you are standing in the dojo. This could lead to the conclusion that:

"Okay maybe then there is no second floor just a gallery in there somewhere and thats it".

Sure we can say that, but then you would ignore the fact that you cant see the front door of the building when Macaque slams Mk into a weaponstand.

"Okay then its on the other side of the room that we never got to see in the episode"

I mean maybe sure but to me from an animation point of view it just doesnt make sense, just why would they flipp the camera angle like that (I mean anyone can think whatever they want, everyones opinion is valid, its not like anyone would ever argue me on this one ((or read this whole brainrot trough in the first place lol)))

Haha anyways regardless of anything, let's go back to talking about the first floor, shall we?

Everything is pretty self explenatory: when you come in on the front door youll see a little shoe rack where you can but your shoes, and one stair to seperate the ante-room from the rest of the house

Then theres a long hall that leads to the enterence of the storageroom, the random room and the staircase that leads to the second floor

I couldnt decide on what to put in that big room-- I had no clue -- I was thinking maybe Macaque could let other people rent it for a few days of maybe theres a shop with an owner whos ranting the place from Macaque (I think thats an interasting concept, but I didnt explore any of them) oh well thats that tho

"""somewhat brief""""

Second floor:

This was probably the easiest, since 90% of it is the dojo

But before that when you walk up to the second floor you can see a big boubel door that opens to the dojo, and a normal door that opens to the bathroom, which is strategicly placed there by yours truely. There is big brain logic behind it,, it might be inconvinient for Macaque to walk down the stairs from his bedroom trough the dojo to the bathroom (but also he can just shadow portal there--), but when ocasionally he mentors Mk, he might have to go to the bathroom while hes at Macaques place and I dont think Macaque would apritiate someone stomping trough his personal area, and thats why the bathroom is conviniently placed next to the dojo and not that far from the bathroom I know im a genius (**read everything in the bathroom part with a lot of sarcasm**)

Anyways, we couldnt even see all four of the dojos walls so that was also a 'gamble', but I went with a simple bouble door that I mentioned before and two weapon stands (yes those are weapon stands) and other than that you can see the rest of the room on the screenshots, theres also the staircase and that has some closet underneath it, but thats about it

The gallery (my personal favorit):

Looking at my reference pictures i could see that the dojo took up a lot of space almost taking up the 1/2 of the building, which I think is reasonable and kinda cool, but that means small living area which I think is even cooler (I am a huge fan of small practical spaces, they feel so so cozy)

So Yeah the living space: mostly two rooms that I also illustrated on top of this post, (you probably saw it) with a balkony thingy before the enterence of the rooms, where you can look down and see the entirety of the dojo, good for observing.

When you go in the door (actually havent decided if I want to put a door there or curtains for style but meh who knows who cares), youll enter the small but spacious kitchen. I dont see the Six Eared Macaque as a homecook, more of a fake cooking guy (only making basic foods like eggs or toast, maybe ocasionally pancake), hints there is no built in stove or owen just a portable stove, a kettle and a toaster and a small fridge that has MKs drawing (that he drew for them at the end of season 3) magneted there :]

Other than that theres a sink and an old television, he got from the randomest place ever, maybe he fished it out of the trash idk, but he put it on top of the cabinets (rarely watches anything on it)

On the baseplan you can see that there was supposed to be a small table next to the sink with a chair, but it didn't make it to the final drawing cuz let's be honest: drawing interior in correct perspective without a reference picture is just not my strongest artskill I posess, so I got pissed and put a trashcan in there, Macaque can eat in his bed

Talking about bed, let's move on to the Six Eared Macaques room:

It is very small but pretty comfortable with a small bed but a shit ton of pillows for a good nights sleep, other than that there are a nightstand that has the Lantern on it (I know it sorta got lost/destroyed after defeating LBD but I wanted to put it there) and a drawer.

The nightstand probably doesnt have a lot innit, just some nick-nacks and tissues and maybe snacks, or a book or something, the drawer stores some of his clothes, but since I like to think that Macaque is a fashion icon that wont be able to fit most of their clothes, so maybe he stores them in a pocket dimension of shadows, and only has some esentials there when he needs to get ready quickly.

And we could talk about the posters plastered around the room, but most of them are kinda self-explanatory, but there are the poster of his shadowplaly of the hero and the warrior, some drawing, a "Hang in there babygirl!" Poster with a cat on it hanging in there, a poster of the monkey king (heh), phantom of the opera poster and a-- well--- that ones for my bestie hope she'll notice it, its a spies are forever poster (really fun musical a of spies, go watch it its on youtube), and a drawing he brought( maybe)

And thats about the bedroom

And we are still not done, how are we feeling about that?? Huh?? (You dont have to answert, this shit took me about 2 hours to write :] )

LAST PLACE: the corner of the windows opposit the kitchen and the bedroom. Its just a chill little place with pillows and blankets, where someone can bundle up and enjoy some tea or read a book or brood, whatever the monkey prefers. The special thing about it, is that you cant access the place without knowing how to levitate, fly, jump high, or use portals, not that much of a game changer since more than half of the lmk cast could get up there, but still a bit of a barrier in my opinion

AAAAAND~~~ thats it omg

Hi hello if you read this trough could you please comment or reblog with this: "🐵" cuz I wanna know about the brave soilders who went trough this immense amount of clownery,,, holly mother---

If you read this all 👏👏👏 you are amazing thank you for appreciating my work this much, have an amazing day or night ✨🪲

#clowning ∆#clown does art #lego monkey kid #lmk #lego monkey kid macaque #lmk macaque #lmk six eared macaque #lmk headcanon #interior design

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moonsapprentice · 7 months

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helllooooo !! you obviously don’t have to do this if you don’t want to do no pressure but i have autism + adhd and i was wondering if you could write headcanons for each of the boys x a reader with autism / adhd ( you dont have to do both you can just pick one if you want ^^; )

this was my first time requesting something so it was a little hard AHHH but if you do this tysm !! :) also thank you for trying to revive the tags bc this is a very big hyperfixation for me and it sucks to never see writing for it lol

Yess!! Omg ahhh this is my first ever request! I’d be happy to do it :)

⋆ ✶ ✷ 𝔐𝔞𝔦𝔫 𝔣𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔞 𝔰/𝔬 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔞𝔲𝔱𝔦𝔰𝔪/𝔞𝔡𝔥𝔡 ✷ ✶ ⋆

𝔈𝔡𝔡

✩ honestly he’s probably neurodivergent in some way himself

✩ definitely really understanding

✩ finds it adorable when you fidget, but also hates it when he’s drawing you and you keep moving 😭

“No, no, wait move back the way you were”

✩ SPEAKING of drawing, if you’re hyperfixating on something he’ll draw it for you

✩ he just wants to see you happy. 😞💚

✩ if you get overstimulated he’s probably the best out of the 4 to go to

✩ if it’s loud noises, he’ll help block it out by covering your ears, if it’s because a place is crowded he’ll keep you close to himself, etc

✩ helps you re-focus by nudging you lightly or saying your name quietly

✩ if you have a hyperfixation he 100% binges it so he knows everything about it

✩ lets you rant about anything with him

✩ if he’s out at the store and finds something relating to your fixation, he’ll show it to you all exited

✩ if you’re hyperactive, he tries to match your energy and be hyper with you

✩ however, if you need a moment of quiet to just recoup, he’ll be silent and wait until you’re ready

✩ if you’re having a panic attack or overstimulated he rubs your head and whispers comforting things. He’ll take you somewhere private until you’re okay

✩ if you like them, he’ll get you fidget toys

✩ if you stim by bouncing up and down or making repetitive noises he finds it the CUTEST THING EVER

✩ tries really hard not to baby you though

✩ if you go non-verbal, he’ll get those lil card things and try to figure out what you need

✩ for the most part, perfect

✩ but he’d probably get stressed out when you’re upset and he can’t figure out why

𝔐𝔞𝔱𝔱

✩ to be honest he wouldn’t really know what it is 😭

“…adhd..? What does that stand for? A dang hot dude? That’s me!”

✩ once you explain he still doesn’t really understand but he tries his best

✩ always asks you if you need anything

✩ if you go nonverbal he kinda panics, he frantically googles until he finds out what’s happening to you

✩ he kinda just hugs you until you’re okay

✩ same thing goes for panic attacks and stuff

✩ he’s perfect to be around if you’re hyper, because no matter what he’ll get hyper and match your energy too

✩ doesn’t really know what stimming is but he copies your movement/noises

✩ probably has his own collection of fidgets that he lets you borrow

✩ if you randomly start focusing on something unrelated to whatever you’re doing, he’d probably join in 😭

✩ my man is NOT neurotypical ‼️

✩ probably relates to you in a lot of ways if you have ADHD

✩ will definitely indulge in your hyperfixations

✩ super silly

𝔗𝔬𝔪

✩ theme park dad energy

“Don’t touch that. Or that. Y/n!”

✩ because of his temper he’d probably get frustrated easily

✩ but he’d try to hold it back because he cares about you

✩ he’s perfect if you just need some quiet time

✩ as I’ve said before, a great listener

✩ if you wanna rant about your hyperfixations, or you just wanna be silent, he’ll listen either way

✩ really good at reading you when you’re non-verbal

✩ if you keep getting off track, he nudges you until you listen

✩ lets out quiet chuckles when you stim

✩ not in a mean way, he can just find it amusing and cute

✩ if you’re bouncing your knee or something he’ll lay his hand on it and rub it

✩ I don’t really think he’s neurodivergent so it’s hard for him to relate to you

✩ but he’d do a ton of research so he’s prepared for any situation

✩ would never admit that though

✩ loves seeing your eyes light up when you see something relating to your hyperfixations

✩ If you’re overstimulated he holds you, letting you bury your face in the crook of his neck while he either covers your ears or strokes your back

✩ would not baby you

✩ he’d be comforting, but if something happens he’ll give you the truth on what he thinks you should do

✩ he’d be soft with his wording, but my guy does not sugarcoat

✩ likes to see you fidget with stuff, he finds it cute

𝔗𝔬𝔯𝔡

✩ might get confused at some of your habits

✩ after doing a little research he’d be super understanding though

✩ loves it when you fidget with his fingers or his hoodie strings

✩ finds your stimming adorable

✩ like, he can’t help the grin that crawls on his face when you bounce up and down or make repetitive noises

✩ the first time you stimmed infront of him he literally scooped you up and spun you around

✩ gets super protective if you’re overstimulated

✩ he does literally anything he can for you to feel okay

✩ murmurs sweet things into your ear if you’re panicking

✩ if you go nonverbal he internally panics, but he’s calm on the outside

✩ despite his slight panic, he can read you really well

✩ might accidentally baby you, but if it bothers you he tones it down

✩ loves talking to you about your hyperfixations

✩ just generally finds it adorable how you act

✩ likes to sit you on his lap and play with your hair, letting you rant about whatever the hell you want

✩ snickers when you loose focus on whatever you’re doing

“Love, c’mon. We can look at that later…”

✩ very sweet and understanding

TYSM for the request!!! I’m so sorry that it slowly gets worse my tumblr is lagging so bad it’s hell to write 😭 other than that this was super fun to write!!

- xoxo, Artemis

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malikselfindulgence · 7 months

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Could I request a romantic LMK fic/ficlet with RedSon and a female reader asking them for help foguring out demonic self care? Reader is kind of in the same boat as MK where they absolutely just thought they were human and now they’re discovering they’re not and they’re kind of struggling to get used to their new body, in this case grooming wise. I was thinking a bat demon reader struggling to brush their teeth without breaking the toothbrush with their fangs or getting the fur between their new wings brushed because it’s getting matted lol (it’s already hard to get your back it’s super hard when there’s two things in the way). It can be a bit suggestive but it doesn’t have to be.

RED SON X BAT DEMON!READER

A/N: AGHH thank you for the request!!! Literally had sm fun writing this it's such a cool idea >w<!! Also the way you worded the request makes it sound like YOU'RE a bat demon 🤨🤨 lol

Content: negative self-talk from reader at the start, kind of hurt/comfort, ending is suggestive!

Fic under the cut!

You know- you used to think demons were cool. You thought the monkey king's tail was cute, you thought about how convenient it probably was to have those claw-like feet, you thought DBK's horns looked cool [though you'd never say that to his face] and you still think Red Son's bull form is very pretty, fur and hooves and all.

Now, though? Not so much.

You weren't handling the change as well as you thought you would- being struck by the fact that you're not human, not even mortal, wasn't easy on anyone, but you didn't think you'd struggle with your new physical form this much.

While, yes, you looked cooler, you suppose- every new feature came with about a million more hurdles. You thought flying would be pretty neat? Wrong, you can barely stay balanced for over 10 seconds, and you got too air-sick to make use of it's travel anyways. You thought the new big ears were sick? How much do you like them out in public, when there's too many sounds attacking you from every angle, too loud and too overwhelming? And your sense of sight keeps deteriorating- you think you might need glasses now.

You hadn't left the house in a while- a long while, actually. Everything was just too much, and frankly, you were embarrassed being seen stumbling like an idiot in your new form, hunching into yourself at every noise and bright light. You hadn't been checking your phone either- you knew they had questions, you knew they were checking up on you, and it only made you feel more pathetic.

You were at home now, cursing your ancestors and stupid demon blood and stupid fucking bats, trying to wrangle your arm in position to brush out the fur on your back, but your stupid wings kept getting in the way, and you could barely even see in the stupid mirror, and-

You're not sure when you started crying, but you looked down to find teardrops landing on your sink. God, this was ridiculous. This was basic self-care, shouldn't you just figure it out? Demon instincts or whatever? You'd considered asking Red Son for help, and even though you know it's just your insecurities eating away at you, you can't help but be scared that he'd laugh at you-

'CRASH'

You pause, looking through your open bathroom- you think that was your front door. You think someone just busted open your front door. You think someone's currently in your house- you rush to grab a pair of sciccors from your cabinet, ears straining to pick up on the noise outside.

You hear footsteps, some angry mumbling, and your shackles slowly go down- was that...?

"I've called you thirty seven times! Thirty seven! Not that I got worried, but you're not responding to the dragon horse girl either, and I swear on the jade emperor's life if you don't-"

His rant comes to an abrupt stop once he sees you, cheeks still red with tear streaks, hair flat against your head, wings bent awkwardly to cover your sides from view. You smile nervously in an attempt to ease the tension, but it comes out strained.

"R-Red Son! Funny, ah, seeing you here- you could've rang the doorbell, or something-"

He scoffs at your words, walking closer- your wings wrap tighter around you, trying to shield yourself off- you don't want him seeing you like this.

"With how you've been rudely ignoring just about everyone, I wasn't even sure if you were alive, let alone willing to open the door." He hisses out, and although he tries to come off as mean, you can tell he felt on edge, his concern showing in the way his voice cracks at his words, his eyes boring through you. He's waiting for an explanation, but you're not sure you can give one.

"I'm sorry, it's just been- I didn't mean to ignore you as long as I did, really-" you stumble over your words, embarassed and guilty and scared, scared of how he'll react and what he'll say.

His eyes squint at you, his face softening as he takes you in- you look a mess, and as his gaze falls to the broken tooth-brush and tweezers by your sink, the way your fur is dull and matted down, he starts realising that you'd been struggling, and just what you'd been struggling with.

He sighs, slowly stepping closer, his eyes down-cast and worried. He settled his palm over your jaw, thumbing at your cheek to wipe away a tear. "You could've asked me for help, you know." He frowns, gesturing to your state, "There's....specific tools for this kind of thing. You can't just use your usual mortal appliances, they're too frail, and frankly repulsive. They're more likely to make it worse than anything."

You nod to acknowledge his words- you can't even pretend he was being dramatic and snobbish this time, he was right, your toothbrush being enough proof. You feel your frustration settle down into something quiter the longer he stays next to you.

Red Son suddenly pulls away, fire enveloping his form for a brief few seconds- you stand there, confused and wide eyed, as he returns with some form of bag in hand. You're not sure how he managed to get that so fast.

"Well then, up you go." He sets the bag down and shoos you towards the edge of the tub, urging you to sit down. You do so without hesitation, though you raise your brow at him and hum, a little dazed, "Huh?"

"I'll be grooming your fur, of course. As well as trimming your nails- they don't exactly look comfortable." He takes out a fancy looking hairbrush, better-looking tweezers than yours, as well as a few other things you don't recognise. You're still reeling from the fact that he's here, not making fun of you, and now he wants to take care of you?

"Wait," He pauses his movements to look up at you, hair crackling in the air above him, "You...you don't have to do this for me."

You're about to reassure him that you can take care of yourself [despite the fact that you rather evidently need his help] when his finger settles on your lips, shushing you entirely.

"I'm well aware I don't have to do anything, and I'm sure you're aware I wouldn't be caught dead doing something I didn't want to do."

He leans in to peck your forehead, a quiet show of affection to reassure you.

"Now stop with that self-deprecating talk and let me help you, alright?" You nod silently, your ears twitching lightly, and his lips tilt upward just the slightest bit.

Red Son instructs you to turn around so he can start with your wings and back- he handles them with care, especially around the tendons and legions where skin meets bone, the areas sensitive to his touch. His palms and fingerpads are rough, no doubt from all the handi-work he does, and they scratch pleasantly against your skin.

He washes out the areas you couldn't reach no matter how you positioned yourself with a wet rag and water from your tub, making sure they're clean before starting to brush your fur, "hold your left wing for me?"

You find yourself relaxing as time goes on, the rhythmic brushing and untangling soothing your nerves. You can hear Red Son's hair sizzle, his content breathing, the small murmurs he lets out every once in a while, and rather than overwhelm you it comforts you- you feel enveloped in his warmth.

"My mother used to do fur treatment baths for me, when I was little." Red Son starts quietly, his fingers prodding at certain spots on your wings, perhaps checking to see if something's out of place, or perhaps he's just fidgeting.

"I couldn't control my powers, back then, so my fur was always left charred and dry. It was a sensory nightmare for me, honestly. She hated trimming my hooves, though." He laughs a little, lost in a memory, "always said it was beneath her, but the servants could never quite get it right, so she had to until I was old enough to do it myself."

"Do you paint your hooves? Like, with nail-polish?" You wonder aloud, and you feel him smack the back of your head playfully. "Don't ask such ridiculous things."

"You're avoiding the question."

".....well, yes, o-on occasion."

You giggle at his reply- you'd already painted his nails over the course of your sleep-overs, and you were going to abuse the hell out of this new information.

"Speaking of hooves, could you turn around? I'll start trimming your claws, now."

You do as instructed, watching him pick up the tweezers. You hold your hands out on your thighs for him, watch as he eyes them with a thoughtful look. He picks up one of your hands, pressing it against his lips gently before settling it down again. You try to push down the flush rising up your face.

He rubs his thumb over your fingers, separating them so he can work better, the 'snip-snip' echoing through your ears, "I'll leave these behind for you, since sciccors aren't normally strong enough. You have to be careful not to go past this white line here, though, otherwise applying pressure to your claws will be painful"

You nod, a little speechless. It was easier when your back was facing him, but now you can see his face- the focused look in his eye, his pretty lips pursing in concentration, and you feel your chest warm at just how considerate and loving he's being. God, you should've just picked up the phone and called him so much sooner and saved yourself the trouble.

"Hey, Red?" You mumble with a smile, and he hums to show he's listening. "Thank you, for all of this. I love you."

He freezes, refusing to meet your eyes- you try to hold back a snicker, but you can't help yourself. You'd been dating for ages, and yet everytime you said that he got all flustered and shy like a schoolgirl. He grumbles, cheeks tinted pink, "Yeah, don't mention it."

Red Son rises to his full height, taking something you can't really see out of the bag before leaving it on the floor- you really need to look into getting a glasses prescription- grabbing your hand and pulling you upwards, towards your room. Your muscles feel lax and relaxed, and you yawn, realising just how taxing the day was.

"I think you should rest for now- we'll have to go to the market early morning before all the high-quality merch gets sold out." Red Son pushes you into your bed gently, settling down beside you, putting something over your ears. You feel all the overwhelming background noise drown out, leaving your mind fuzzy and....relaxed. You're not anxious anymore- you can't hear the earth buzzing constantly in your head anymore.

"They're noise cancelling headphones- loud sounds tend to...stress me out, sometimes. I have a spare back home, so no need to- mmmfh?!"

You rush forward to kiss Red Son- your wonderful, considerate, stupidly observant boyfriend, who you love so much you can feel it rush through your heart in waves- melding your lips against his. He starts kissing back once his surprise wears off, arms slowly wrapping around you to pull you closer. You feel refreshed, you feel happy and content and loved, and as you pull away you think he can see it in your gaze, because he smiles in relief.

You start peppering his face in kisses and messy smooches- all over his cheeks and jaw and nose, the corner of his lips, the endearing scar on his cheek, making loud kissing noises all the while. He tries to act annoyed, but the way he blushes and leans into you is telling enough.

"Glad to see you back to your old exasperating self."

You push him down onto the mattress, and although he's strong enough to flip you over again, he doesn't, simply laying there and letting you do as you please.

You kiss his jaw and trail down to his neck again, this time slower, paying close attention to the spot between his collarbone and shoulder, fangs just barely grazing the surface of his skin. You feel him gulp against you in anticipation, his eyes following your movements.

"Just let me thank you properly, okay?"

"W-well," his voice is shaky, your hands roaming over his body, claws now freshly-cut and scraping against his skin deliciously, "I suppose I can't say no to that."

#AFHCH I HOPE THIS IS OK #its a bit long #and ends kinda funny idk !!#youre both late to the demon market btw . he ends up bribing them anyways so its ok #ok now my tags #malik's requests #malik's writing #x reader #red son x reader #redson x reader #lmk x reader #lmk red son x reader #lmk redson x reader #lego monkie kid x reader #im so sleepy u guys #sorry 4 not rlly including the brushing teeth thing . red son does leave u a better toothbrush in the bag he brought :3 #shes so dear 2 meeeee

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tfp-is-my-lifeblood-lol · 9 months

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How would the bots and cons handwriting be like? (Sorry for my bad English lol)

Ahhh! I love this idea! Had WAY too much fun with this.

Bots and Cons Handwriting

Optimus:

-Can write insanely neatly, and in literally ANY font

-Everything he writes looks like it came straight from Google Docs

-He can perfectly recreate Comic Sans, much to the children's amusement

-Handwriting KING

-He's too powerful

Arcee:

-Her handwriting is gorgeous

-She writes very neatly, definitely in cursive

-Everything she writes looks like a diary from the Victorian era

-Majestic✨✨✨✨

Ratchet:

-Cursive, but MESSY cursive

-Like, REALLY messy cursive. What is he even writing? Who knows? It's a mystery.

-You know, cuz, like, that's how a pharmacist's prescriptions look, and he's a medic. Lol

-Ratchet has messy pharmacist handwriting

Bumblebee:

-His handwriting is so cute😭

-Basically Comic Sans

-Not PERFECT Comic Sans like Optimus, but just bubbly and adorable

-Having legible handwriting is something he practices a lot, since his voice box is broken. Writing is a nice way to express himself if need be.

-He has kindergarten teacher handwriting

-My dyslexia would be so happy

Smokescreen:

-Neat enough handwriting, but HE WRITES SO BIG

-All caps, all the time

-He goes through too many notebooks, because he saves NO space

-Poor guy. He just has a big personality

Bulkhead:

-Unreadable

-His hands are just way too big

-Very messy. Only Wheeljack can read it because he and Bulkhead share the same braincells

-Bulkhead and Ratchet get in arguments, because Ratchet's reads Bulk's handwriting, and is like: "Bulkhead, your attempts at penmanship are downright INCOMPREHENSIBLE."

And Bulkhead's like: "You say that like any of us can read yours!"

And Arcee's like: "I second that."

And Bumblebee buzzes in agreement.

Ratchet just rolls his eyes, like "ugh." Because he can't argue. HIS handwriting is gibberish, too.

Ultra Magnus:

-Opposite of Smokescreen...Ultra Magnus's handwriting is TINY!

-Seriously, where is it? You need a microscope.

-Only the humans can read it, because it's so small. And even THEY have to squint

-It's also PERFECT. His handwriting is very neat

and blocky, like a typewriter

-If only we could actually see it

Wheeljack:

-He's like, a graphic design CHAMPION

-He learned handwriting from Miko, so he loves big bubble letters. He decorates them with cool patterns, like flames, and lightning bolts

-Very stylish

Megatron:

-What I can only describe as "spooky cursive"

-Very formal, and kinda gothic

-He'd use some kind of calligraphy pen with very dark, splattery ink, or, like, whatever the Cybertronian version of a quill is.

-He's an elegant guy...well, sort of, except most of what he writes consists of:

"My dearest Starscream,

It is with great regret (note my sarcasm, Starscream.) It is with great PLEASURE that I must inform you...

I have caught you invading my stash of dark energon, once again.

I will be grinding you into scrap metal momentarily.

Yours truly,

Lord Megatron."

Starscream:

-Starscream has the ABILITY to write neatly, and in cursive

-But he writes very scribbly, because he's angry

-If "ranting" was a font, it's the font he writes in

-Also, he probably keeps a rage journal, where he trash talks everyone he knows

-Somebody help him🥲

Soundwave:

-Handwriting? What's that?

-He probably uses his internal computer to make documents, and prints them

-And when he prints things, they probably slide out of his neck. Terrifying. So he prints things to freak Starscream out

-It's beautiful

-If Soundwave was FORCED to handwrite, he'd do it in computer code, or morse code, or something weird like that. Everyone would be baffled trying to understand it.

Airachnid:

-Very splattery

-But that's what happens when you use energon and human blood as ink.

Shockwave:

-Writes in calculator font

-Like, the font a calculator has

-He says it's "the most logical font"

-Starscream constantly judges him for it

Breakdown:

-Definitely not neat, but not Bulkhead levels of messy, either

-He doesn't have the best handwriting, but he can make some pretty good doodles

-If, for some reason, Megatron assigned Breakdown and Knockout a task involving handwriting, Breakdown and Knockout would both doodle instead of being productive

Knockout:

-Ooo! So majestic!

-It's very bold

-His handwriting is suave and announcer-y, just like him

-It'd also be curved slightly to the right, like italics

-Almost like something you'd see in a commercial, or a movie trailer, or a billboard

-Like a NASCAR advertisement (y'know, because race car)

#It would honestly be so funny to watch Cybertronians trying to use a tiny human-sized pencil #having existential crisis over whether Soundwave can be a printer #tfp #transformers prime #tfp headcanons #tfp arcee #tfp optimus prime #tfp bumblebee #tfp ratchet #tfp bulkhead #tfp smokescreen #tfp knockout #tfp starscream #tfp megatron #tfp airachnid #tfp ultra magnus #tfp breakdown #tfp wheeljack #tfp soundwave

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httpsghostie · 9 months

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i was thinking, soap buying these little mood rings from spiritual shop that just opened by his home! and he brings them to the base, he’s so excited & he literally forces everyone to try them on—you do without hesitation and the only one who seems to have a hard time doing so would be ghost, of course.

eventually he caves in puts the ring. different colors associated with different moods, ie red would be anger, blue would he sadness, yellow would be happiness, green would be illnesses etc. until soap notices that ghost’s ring always seems to turn pink when he’s talking to you, or even just being near you, pink being the color of love.

and soap is so damn cheeky, he’ll purposely wait until it’s just him, ghost, and gaz around to start the teasing, saying stuff like: ‘y’know, i jus’ think it’s funny how your ring always turns pink when you’re a around y/n.’

and ghost is just glaring at him.

THAT IS SO SWEET

also I feel like this isnt my best work Im sorry lol

warnings: pure fluff

Soap was by far the happiest person around the base, and he also happened to be a really close friend of yours. He was a joy to be around, Gaz too, and inevitably you became the trio of chaos. Out of the battlefield, combining the three of you wouldn't build a single sargeant, it's like you shared the same brain cell or something like that — like Ghost once said.

One day, Soap brought some mood rings for everyone in the squad. He thought they could be useful on how you could deal with a person depending on their mood. How silly of him. But you didn't hesitate to put them on, thanking him for it.

He said they would change colors depending on the mood, but that's all the explanation, when Price asked him about what which color represented, he shrugged it off.

To you, he said yellow was happy and red was anger, and it stopped right there. You would hit him playfully, demanding for him to explain the rest, but that's what you had to deal with.

Ghost was reluctant to put it on. "There's no way that works, Johnny."

It took you probably a week for him to finally agree on putting the stupid ring — as he called it. The three of you stared, waiting desperately for it to change colors, seemed like eternity until he finally put it on. You waited, and waited, and waited.

No color.

"See? I told you it doesn't work."

He was going to take it off, but Soap insisted on him keeping it. Reluctantly, he let Johnny win this fight — after all, he said it didn't even work.

And Ghost's ring remained blank until Soap found the two of you talking in the mess hall, approaching you quietly. Ghost was listening to you ranting about Price actively teasing you about your new white hairs due to stress. "I can't do anything about it, it's genetic and it's also stress. Honestly I don't know how you handle this life."

But there was something about him, his body language when you were around, like he could relax when he was with you. You bet Johnny noticed the light pink on the ring Ghost was clumsily trying to hide from you.

Yet he couldn't go out there making assumptions, he had to see it again. You'd taken your ring off for training purposes, but Ghost still had his, and it turned pink again as he saw you executing your moves with perfect precision.

"Oi, Lt, anything to tell us?" Soap asked once he was alone with Ghost and Gaz, he glared at him, not understanding what he meant.

"Come on, the ring, we all saw it." Gaz said.

"Yes, yours turns pink around y/n."

"I don't know what that means."

"Pink is the color of love, ya?" Soap punches his chest playfully. "Ghost is in love with y/n!"

"Shut up, Johnny!"

"You really are, Lt, the ring doesn't lie." Gaz adds to the teasing, making Ghost brush his face. He takes a deep breath and leaves them two behind.

"Whatever."

And later that day, the group chat was filled with subliminal messages.

Not to mention that Soap wouldn't miss an opportunity to tease his Lieutenant.

Ghost: Sargeants, I need the reports by the end of the day

Soap: On it, pink-ie

Ghost: Shut up, Johnny

Gaz: Stop being such a pink-a-phobe

Y/n: What? Lol

Ghost: It's nothing, they're children

Soap: Did it turn pink again?

Ghost: Enough, Soap

"Can you please call Y/n to my office?"

"Why, you gon' kiss her?"

To which always led to Soap being slapped in the head, but it was priceless to see Ghost's reaction to being teased.

It would turn pink whenever you were around, he couldn't help it, he liked you way too much to be able to hide it from the ring, like he was able to do with every other emotion. Never blue, nor red. It would only change colors when you were there.

#ghost x reader #ghost simon riley #simon riley #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #cod x reader #cod modern warfare #cod mwii #cod mw2 #cod fanfic

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luffyvace · 17 days

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PERRROOONAAA x female reader :3

Does anybody on tumblr love Perona as much as I do?!

(Once again, may be more accurate to pre time skip perona 😋)

Perona with a girlfriend seems like such a sweetie!! And I say this in the kindest way possible- but with men (specifically stupid men) she just seems to get upset quicker?? Granted, in the show, as far as I’ve seen she interacts with male more than females (poor her she’s gonna go insane) but then again there’s more guys than girls in op anyway.

Moving on- shopping with her is always fun!! ٩( 'ω' )و you two could shop for hours and hours together. By the way I’m specifically talking about when she dropped zoro off on sabaody. You can’t tell me she didn’t stay for a while and buy a crap ton of cute clothes. Ngl the girls in the background of sabaody had some pretty cute outfits!! Which mean they have good clothing stores. Which means you two definitely when on a shopping spree 😉🤩

I’m talking going from store to store, getting snacks like pretzels and cotton candy in between, going on a few rides n such. And of course getting some sweet deals because your cute and know how to coupon 😋😋

While we’re on the topic I might as well mention fashion. In fact these wouldn’t be Perona headcanons without it⁉️ Like have you SEEN how that girl dresses?! I LOVE her style it’s so cute!! (Opinion: I like her pre time skip fit better) Besides the point tho, I just feel like she couldn’t get along with someone who has no style so IK for sure you’ve got some 🙌

Either that or your okay with her dolling you up LOL. Ngl I feel like she’d love that- whether you can dress or not. She doesn’t even have at least bearsy anymore so who else does she have to glamify??? 😱 Zoro?Mihawk? 😖 No way they’d let her!! 😤 But dw at the very least you know you’ll always look good 😘💋💗

Cooking with Perona! (THAT COULD BE THE NAME OF A TV SHOW AT THIS POINT HAHAHAH) but yes of course cooking is a sort of love language for her, so she’s always cooking you stuff!! Meals, snacks, desserts whatever! She makes them randomly but you’d better appreciate it!!

if you can’t cook she’d have no problem doing it for you, but you simply must appreciate it!! At least thank her verbally if your not gonna do something in return physically! Okay?

if you can, you two have lots of fun cooking each other meals. There has been many days where you make each other your favorite meals then sit down and eat it together all romantic-like. ☺️ Aaaand there’s also times you have little mini arguments as to who’s cooking who’s favorite food tonight.

“No! Sit down I’ve got it, I said!!”

“I’ll do it Perona don’t worry about it!”

“No way! I was gonna make your favorite tonight!”

”huh? No don’t do that, I was gonna make your favorite!”

“well just sit down and let me handle it will you?!” 😤

nothing too serious like I said, just you too being so sappy you argue about who’s gonna cook who’s favorite dinner 😂💗💗

y’all have girl sleepovers at mihawk’s ٩( ᐛ )و

i mean yeah where else but you get me. You two stay up and gossip about any and everything. She’s the gossip type of girl 💯 I’m not saying you are though, so if you aren’t she can talk about anything, she doesn’t mind :) you could always build a pillow fort, read books, paint each other’s nails/toenails and sing instead 💖

she def rants to you about zoro and mihawk being living, breathing headaches. Which, unless your a nonchalant girly- you probably understand. 😭 having alone time with each other is essential to keep the other sane. 😄

her affections are cooking and doing favors for you. She’s also quite protective/big sister like and will make sure your okay randomly throughout your day. She keeps your hair in place and buttons the buttons you forgot to button up. 💖💖 that type of big sister like <33 she may or may not complain a bit (not as much as with zoro) but she’ll do basically any (sane 😭) thing you ask of her. If your ill/injured she forces you to stay in bed as long as it takes until you’ve made a full recovery. I feel she’d have a lot of medical knowledge so that helps ;D

she’d be shy about it when your first getting into the relationship, but after a while..! when in private, I feel like she’d be very soft for cute little kisses! 😚 100% in private though- she doesn’t want any sour faces from zoro or mihawk (😑) she’d make this clear too because she like to be made fun of 😒

her kisses are really soft, so are her lips. She’d probably leave light lipstick stains all over your face. She’d accidentally make those little smooching sounds each time she kisses you. She’s embarrassed about it but you two laugh it off and continue smothering bunches of love all over the other’s features. She really loves kissing your cheeks—they’re so squishy and cute!! <3 and she looooves cute things 😊

Ending it there because if I ever do Perona’s kisses one day that’ll be a spoiler 😱

I ended up loving Perona much more than I thought I would when I started watching one piece 😭💗 not complaining tho !! 💋

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teacupofgooglyeyes · 7 months

Text

THE MAGNUS PROTOCOL. oh my GOD, the magnus protocol. (marginal spoilers up ahead for the tmp trailer + arg)

….i have a theory. its based on other possibly improbable theories but please indulge me as i connect the dots nobody else can see with red string and declare it a masterpiece.

WHAT IF…. something was trapped in the database? yes this is absolutely inspired by the theories bouncing around saying J.01 + M.01 are jon and martin- and possible J.02 is jonah. yes im going insane about it. yes i am distraught. BUT- what if its not just our silly little jarchivist and martin ‘knife crime’ blackwood trapped in the O.I.A.R. database? what if theres something that the O.I.A.R. takes ‘incident reports’ of to contain (and perhaps categorise) in encrypted files or the like in an attempt to rid the world of this something for good?

what if they had figured out a way to trap… the fears themselves in the database?

okokokok hear me out- it sounds insane but i promise i can provide evidence that proves with sufficient certainty that theres definitely SOMETHING (or someone) trapped in there. as to what that something is- i cant prove that for sure but i can absolutely try my darnedest! and whatever you choose to believe is up to you.

PROOF #1: THE ARG EMAILS

1. in the tmp arg, there was a small message at the end of every email. it read as follows: ‘In accordance with governmental guidelines we encourage you to consider the environmental impact before printing this email.’ All in all, this doesn’t seem too suspicious, right? Probably just rusty quill trying to be eco-friendly, right? right??

2. but that’s not all. in the middle of the environmental impact text in the first email sent, there is a section of random german text. it reads: ‘[NichtdurchkommenlassenEsistwichtigdasswirdieKontrollebehalten 🜶]’. this translates to: ‘Do not let (pronoun missing on purpose) come through. It is important that we remain in control 🜶’. Pairing the two makes it definitely seem like theres a reason for the O.I.A.R. to not want people printing things off of the internet that is absolutely connected to making sure certain things contained on internet in some way do not escape…

PROOF #2: THE TMP TRAILER

now that the arg has been solved, we now all have access to the tmp official trailer. i could rant about the contents of this trailer alone for HOURS but right now i just want to focus on a few specific details i noticed.

1. the epa pollution preventer. when the program is initiating, up in the top right corner there’s a logo for some company advertising anti-pollution… something. im mentioning this as this only furthers the strange obsession the O.I.A.R. has with protecting the environment, this incessant need to keep everything digital.

(SIDE NOTE: i have two other theories as to where this environmental obsession stems from:

1. paranoia from the archives burning down in this universe calls for the usage of any flammable items to record important data is STRICTLY forbidden!

2. the extinction has become the leading fear in this universe, prompting this very interesting concern for keeping eco-friendly.

these theories are enticing and i would love to expand on them later if i have the energy lol all these theories are rushing through my head and driving me even more insane.)

2. the files. THE FUCKING FILES!! yes, the ones that we are PRAYING contains our dearly beloved jon and martin (and probably jonah, but i doubt anyone else is as excited about that compared to the happy couple). this got me thinking- what if they trapped something ELSE in the files? something that maybe took the burning of the entire magnus institute, all those fears open and barely contained on paper, to contain digitally? something that maybe needs to be encrypted in files to keep it away, and to further contain it recordings of incident reports statements are made and also placed in the files archives? just saying. its a possibility.

PROOF #3: WHAT WE KNOW ABOUT JONNY

1. after listening to all the Q&As and extra content to recover from episode 200, i have LEARNT a few things. specifically, i know our good friend jonny sims loves creepypastas. fun fact- the actual s5 finale was itself inspired by creepypastas!

2. plus theres many episodes that do also have distinct creepypasta influences, one of which being mag 65: binary. this particular episode is about a fictional creepypasta/internet rumor about a man who placed himself and his sentience into a file on the internet that turns out to be true. internet horror stories often involved something trapped on the internet, interacting with users on the internet to attempt to escape or achieve whatever their goal may be. seems…. interesting. hmm. what if this sort of thing is influencing the podcast yet again? its a thought…..

IN CONCLUSION:

im insane. and-

#the magnus protocol #the magnus universe #the magnus protocol theories #the magnus pod #the magnus archives #the magnus institute #tma #tma theory #im going insane

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haveyouseenthishorrormovie · 2 months

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*breaks fingers* Let's go, mod Sus' rant on 247°F (2011)

Talking from the viewpoint of a finnish person, while the movie itself is American, and no I haven't actually watched this one but I did read the plot summary and watch a little bit for proper arguments.

TLDR: Characters are freaking idiots and physics don't work in this world, apparently.

For the reference, 247° fahrenheit is about ~120° celcius. So yes we're talking about hot sauna. I personally can stand 100°C for a while at best but anyways.

I guess we could start by inspecting the sauna itself first. It's supposedly electric sauna (which, it doesn't even look like a proper one but more spa/steam sauna than an actual good one) but also with this large rock pillar stove in the middle of RELATIVELY LARGE ROOM. With no leveled up seats, just one seats on same level + you could sit on the backrests for more space and height I guess. Compare that to actual proper finnish sauna:

This is a bit of a mix of modern and traditional sauna but only by the looks. Pay attention to seats on different levels, you want to have seats near the ceilings because that's where it's the hottest. Hot air raises up so it's cooler at the floor level, if not even very cold after getting used to the temperature at standing level.

Now the stove in the movie is supposedly the kind you throw water onto to release the steam and more heat. And here comes the fun part. In the beginning, they set the temperature to 187° F AKA ~86° C???? AND THEN THEY SAY IT'S "CRAZY HOT"???? IN THIS VERY LARGE ROOM WHERE HEAT SPREADS OUT A TON? BITCH THAT PLACE IS COLD and they act like they're already toasting in there???? Weak ass americans. AND THEY DIDN'T EVEN TOSS WATER ONTO STOVE BEFORE THAT, they have just this one huge heat source in the middle of LARGE ROOM that's like WARM at best??? You're supposedly to throw water on that thing, or otherwise it'd be same as you'd just stand next to a hot cooking stove. You don't even start sweating properly without the steam which helps with the heat releasing from your body. You're just cooking yourself with that thing.

Okay, so just? Turn off the electric heater (which becomes a major plot point of the movie, so that's not an option here for some reason?), and don't toss water onto stove. LAY DOWN ON THE FREAKING FLOOR??? WHERE IT'S COOLEST OR EVEN COLD BECAUSE IT'S ASSUMINGLY MARBLE/ROCK/WHATEVER FLOOR. Sure if the average temperature in the room is 247°F aka ~120°C it is hot, but it's still cooler at floor level far away from the stove.

And speaking of the heater. At first I thought it was like, they set the heater to get hotter and hotter on purpose but why would you do that if you can't handle shit??? I guess the thermosthat malfunctions or some shit or because the heat keeps rising??? That's not how electronics work as far as I'm aware but suspend my disbelief I guess. I can't tell too much what the characters decide to do without spoilers but let's say they're all massive idiots with their choices. This is all on them. (BTW if this was a traditional wood-heated sauna, just stop putting more logs in the fire, lol).

Okay, let's assume it's all because uh physics broke or something. It's getting hot in there. You got a small window there, and even in trailer we see characters manage to break it. But apparently??? THE HEAT DOESN'T ESCAPE ENOUGH FROM IT???? WHAT. You can this huge room with one heat source, it's cold outside, and the heat still doesn't escape enough to make it more managable in there or at least near the window to cool them off??? Physics, hello???

Like legit the entire point of the movie is it's getting too hot in there but there's so many things that help you to stay cool in there until something gets fixed. The characters aren't even drunk which would've made this so much more belieable because alcohol is probably the main reason (aside sudden health problems like cardiac arrest) people would die in saunas because they pass out in there. But no, this is just idiot characters being idiots.

Also take your freaking clothes off, cowards. You can't even call yourself a sauna movie if there's no bare butts and peenors and natural hanging booba in non-sexual bathing setting through entire movie smh.

#not a poll #mod sus

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sutang-hoon · 2 years

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Same Anon here! And sure! It doesn’t have to be an idol reader if you feel like it’ll be bothersome, he could even be an employee at a rivalry company or something like that!

But if you keep with the idol route, the plot could be like they’re both at a music show / award show, and both of their groups are aiming to win Boy Group of the Year 👀 And when one of them wins, that would obviously cause the other to get super jealous and angry but those feelings would only be turned into sexual tension when the reader and heeseung see eachother backstage~~ LOL

rivals (with benefits) — lee heeseung x male!reader (m.)

PAIRING: lee heeseung x male!reader (he/him)

SUMMARY: it's awards season. the competition is high, and many boy groups were nominated for boy group of the year. and one of the groups were none other than enhypen. that's where lee heeseung is in, your rival, but is he really your rival? do you really hate each other? or is it all an act?

WARNINGS: dom!heeseung and sub!male reader, unprotected sex, name-calling, degrading, making out, semi public sex, blowjob (heeseung receiving), little heejay moment, slapping, dacryphilia, hair pulling, creampie, nasty, nasty sex

AUTHOR'S NOTE: this is probably the nastiest, eye rolling, sheet gripping, toe curling, dick throbbing fic i've ever made so far

"i can't believe i'll see that little shit again."

you roll your eyes, while your makeup is getting done. it's award season, and this time of the year is the most competitive, with hundreds of groups pitted against each other, with only one group to take home each award. award season. this means you'll see tons of groups, both backstage and general. of course, your rival, heeseung, will be here.

"i'm gonna see that fucker again."

heeseung sighs as he waits for his makeup artist to finish, staring at himself in the mirror. he flashes a smile, confident, since he looks stunning. when he's done and the makeup artists calls for the next member, he sits down on one of the big black couches. jay was seated next to him and heeseung scrolls mindlessly on his phone. he gets interrupted when jay call him with a "hey." heeseung hums, eyes slightly wide, turning to him. "yeah?"

jay scoots closer to heeseung and the space between them get smaller. heeseung freezes, and jay chuckles. "do you really hate him?"

heeseung eyebrows arch, confused. what was jay talking about? "who? him? my rival?"

jay nods.

"oh, i hate him. he's such a little shit, always making fun of me when we lose to them at music bank and whatever fucking music program." heeseung looks pissed as he rants on, but jay knows something.

he knows heeseung doesn't actually hate you.

jay laughs loudly, throwing his head back. heeseung looks at him with a puzzled expression. once jay's laughter dies down, he faces heeseung again, this time with a small smirk on his face. what a fucking weirdo. heeseung thinks.

"you're a comedian, heeseung."

"what the fuck do you mean by that?" heeseung asks him angrily. cute. jay thinks.

"now listen here, man." jay moves closer and heeseung fucking gulps - jay's face has completely changed. his face has a dark expression, eyes extremely ominous. heeseung feels out of breath, especially with how close jay's face is.

"i know for a goddamn fact that you don't hate him. matter of fact, you want to fuck him."

heeseung's eyes widen, and jay finds it cute. the latter exposed heeseung, and he feels nothing but satisfaction brimming in him. jay takes a hold of heeseung's chin, his lips parting slightly as watches heeseung frown and grit his teeth. heeseung admits that jay looks hot, and the moment is so fucking tense, he can physically feel himself start to sweat.

heeseung feels defeated. he sighs and closes his eyes. jay hums, genuinely suprised that heeseung didn't even try to defend himself. really, how would heeseung defend his faked hatred towards you when jay already knew what was happening between you two?

"fine. you win." jay lets go of heeseung's chin, and heeseung hangs his head low. surprisingly, jay isn't mad at all. he actually puts his hand on heeseung's shoulder reassuringly, to which heeseung looks at him.

"that's why, i'm here to help you." jay flashes a smile at heeseung.

"what? what do you mean?"

"you see-" jay gestures heeseung to scoot closer again, and he does, so jay continues.

"remember how, whenever the show ends..."

heeseung freezes as he has a moment of realization. jay gives him a look, he knows what heeseung is going to say, and heeseung smirks, jay is a fucking genius.

"we all get sent to our respective dresssing rooms?"

"exactly."

"which means, i can just call him, make him come to our room, and then you-know-what? you're a fucking genius, park."

jay laughs and heeseung does the same. the two men let their laughter die down before they share a fist bump. jay sits back and places his arms on the couch's head, watching the other members get their makeup done.

"oh and one more thing." jay speaks, still looking at the other members. "i'll be your wingman." he turns around to look at heeseung, clicking his tongue and winking at him. heeseung laughs and calls him amazing. heeseung then turns around - jay stares at him for a little while, gears turning in his head. he stops staring and looks at the other members.

heeseung smiles as he thinks about their plan. his cheeks color a slight pink when he realizes what he's about to do to you. he imagines the dirtiest stuff and realizes that he will do it in such a place like this. a public place. oh, it excites him.

you braced yourself as you headed towards the main seating area. it was going to be loud, for sure. you're in a rising group and have won several music show wins, topped the charts, had a lot of views on your music videos, and went viral.

as you walked towards your designated seats, the scream of the fans were defening. it wasn't all bad though, at least you and your group members have a solid fanbase. you sit down and notice that there were already a few groups who were seated already.

"hey, it's them." your member elbows you as you follow his eyes.

the screams of the fans wavered back again as enhypen walked towards the seating area. you look for a certain orange-haired guy, and you find him almost immediately. damn, he looks amazing. although you did remember you were rivals, so you had no reactions whatsoever.

oh god. he was coming closer. heeseung walks up the stairs. shit. is he seated next to your group, when the two parties are rivals? heeseung locks eyes with you, an annoying grin plastered on his face. you shoot him a dirty look as he walks closer. thankfully, the cameras probably won't see you two.

"may the best group win." heeseung says as he takes a seat next to you, although there was some space left behind. you stare at him and you forgot that you were his rival. whoever styled him needed a goddamn raise because of how stunning he looked.

"whatever, we'll win anyway." you huff out. heeseung just chuckles. he feels a nudge to his side, and it was jay. he smirks at you, and at heeseung. heeseung nudges him back. he doesn't want jay to catch your attention.

your attention was saved for later.

"jesus, how long has it been?"

it's been what, an hour and a half, and the awarding part of the show hasn't started yet. you silently agree with jay. you wanted to them to get it over with so you could go home. you wanted to be announced as the boy group of the year, take the award, thank the fans, and then leave.

you watch two people walk onto the stage. finally. let's get this over with. you thought. the couple announces the start of the awarding.

you drown out almost everything they said, but you didn't forget to clap and bow for the other groups, of course. but as time went on, your clapping got slower and sloppier. you were fucking tired.

"now, for the best boy group of the year..."

and suddenly, all your drowsiness disappears, and you're all ears. heeseung also snaps out of his trance, leaning forward to pay attention. the woman takes out a piece of paper from the envelope, reading the winner's name.

"enhypen!"

you were surprised. not mad, but you will admit that you felt a little jealousy. either way, you clapped enthusiastically for them. heeseung turns around and smirks at you before walking onto the stage with the other boys.

the fans were screaming and other groups were clapping. heeseung walks onto the stage with his members - the cameras followed all seven of them as they walked towards the microphone to deliver their speech.

they all stand and wave. heeseung grabs the microphone and starts his speech. well you'll be damned. did his voice get deeper? you were unsure, but either way, his voice was hot.

"finally! thank god!" you sigh a breath of relief. the award show was finally over, the fans were leaving the venue, and you were more than ready to head home and fall onto your soft, soft bed.

tons of groups were scattered throughout the hallway. some idols were even interacting with each other, whilst some were headed towards their rooms, ready to head home as well. in the crowd, you easily spot heeseung, who seems to be talking to jay.

"hey, motherfucker." heeseung watches you walk towards him, hands in his pocket. you cross your arms, giving him a stern look. he laughs, throwing his head back, his adam's apple bobbing. what the actual fuck.

"you guys go first. i'll be there later." you tell your group members, and they leave. you clicked your tongue at heeseung, who's staring at you strikingly, head leaned on the wall. jay stares at you as well, arm placed on heeseung's shoulder.

the three of you just stand there, and you sigh. "are you two just going to keep staring at me? speak up." heeseung stands straight. jay touches heeseung's back in a subtle way, heeseung nods at him, and jay proceeds to leave.

"you're just jealous we won. come on, wanna visit our dressing room?" you reply with a "whatever" and let heeseung lead the way. the hallway was still pretty crowded, so heeseung obviously keeps you by his side, how?

by snaking his arm around your waist.

you try your best not to react to heeseung's hold on your waist. the subtle movement of his fingers were electrifying, they were like little sparks. all that while heeseung looks forward, a serious but handsome look on his face.

suddenly, you didn't want to go home anymore.

you enter the dressing room and find it weird how jay is the only one inside. where are the others? heeseung closes the door behind you as you sit down on the couch. you didn't notice it, but heeseung shoots jay a look, who moves closer to the door.

"where is everyone else?" you ask heeseung, who sits directly in front of you. he has his legs wide open as he sits - it's as if he was inviting you to stare at his crotch. you take a quick peek and he is huge. heeseung seems to not notice.

"they're busy, and for the members, they're catching up with other idols." he replies, still sitting like that. "okay then." heeseung stands up and your eyes follow him. he stands in front of one of the tables and you see a golden object. it was their trophy for winning boy group of the year.

heeseung looks at you for any reaction, but you don't say anything. "i fucking get it. you guys won."

"you're jealous, aren't you?" heeseung asks nonchalantly.

"listen, i do not give a fuck if you guys won. what the hell do you want me to do, heeseung? throw you a party?"

heeseung glances at jay for a split second, who quietly opens the door, locks it and leaves. you don't notice that not when you're half-pissed at heeseung. heeseung starts to smile.

the plan is working.

"and- what, hello? lee heeseung? i'm fucking speaking here!" you stand up, now pissed.

"listen." heeseung's voice drops a few notes. it booms across the room. you were taken aback, and you gulp. as cliché as it sounds, heeseung slowly walks towards you. you take a few steps back. "heeseung, what are you doing?" you ask him while walking backwards.

shit. you hit the wall.

heeseung swiftly grabs your wrists, pinning them above your head. all the air gets knocked out of your lungs and you feel yourself shrink. heeseung towers over you and you can't help but think of how tall he really is. heeseung removes one hand, using his other hand to keep your wrists in place. are his hands that big? either way, your cheeks burn at the thought of how huge his hands were.

"what the fuck? let me go!" you thrash around, and heeseung laughs. it was no use, heeseung's grip on you was so strong, and you had no chance anyway. for a second, heeseung gently swipes his thumb on your cheek, it was so soft that you leaned into the touch.

heeseung then removes his hands. "wait what-"

a loud smack echoes across the room as heeseung slaps you in the face, hard. you whimper as you feel the prickling heat ripple across your face. heeseung laughs, and you feel your eyes shimmer with tears.

"pathetic little bitch." you audibly gasp at his words - you'd never expect him, lee heeseung, the one who is adored by fans, to be this mean. you quickly start to get hard. you never expected you actually like being degraded. heeseung just proved that just now.

"you're actually jealous, aren't you? you want to win so you won't be a burden to your fans who voted for you, streamed your songs and bought your albums, right?"

you hung your head in defeat and feel yourself start to cry. it was so fucking cruel of heeseung, but you loved it at the same time. heeseung laughs at you like a madman, forcefully grabbing your chin to look at him. he cooes once he sees your pathetic and teary-eyed face. "but don't worry, i can help you with that."

"h-"

heeseung grabs your chin and presses his lips against yours. he lets go of your wrists to hold your ass. you gasp, and heeseung takes that as an opportunity to enter your mouth. he sucks, slurps, and tastes you. the sound was disgustingly hot - you wrap your arms around heeseung's shoulders, breathing through your nose as you kiss him deeply. heeseung moves his leg and places it in between yours.

he starts rubbing his leg on your tent, and you whine in his mouth. your arms tighten and pull heeseung closer. both of your eyes were closed, eyebrows frowning, sweat forming on your temples, and corners of your mouth drooling. you feel yourself shaking when heeseung's leg rubs faster against your crotch.

you both pull back, watching a string of saliva form in between your lips. you wipe your lips and heeseung thought of something that makes him smirk. something nasty.

heeseung pushes you to the front and leans on the wall. "get on your fucking knees." you follow his order immediately, and his bulge was a feast for your eyes. "come on, do something baby. you can't just stay there." you nod and start shaking knowing what you're about to do.

your start palming heeseung through his pants and notice a wet patch leaking through the fabric before you start licking him through the fabric. heeseung's hands flies and takes a hold of your hair. his grip was painful, of course.

a hint of saltiness tickles your taste buds as you lick his pants one more time. "can i, daddy?" holy fucking shit. heeseung might go crazy. he nods, and you unzip his pants. you both watch as his cock bounces up and you moaned at how huge he was.

you wasted no time in pumping him. heeseung stutters a moan and rolls his head back, his neck on display, you wish you could leave hickies on him - you start pumping heeseung even faster, watching his pre-cum leaking from his tip. you lick the tip, and heeseung's legs start shaking, and he moans loudly. "oh, fuck, yes!"

you pull back, hesitant. how the hell are you going to take him when he's that big? heeseung clicks his tongue, and you stare up at him pathetically, like a lost puppy.

"aw, scared of my dick? remember, i'll have to fuck you later." those words just made you needier. harder. it was technically true, you have to get used to him. after all, you wouldn't want this night to pass without heeseung fucking you.

"psh, i'm not." you reluctantly move closer to his dick, staring at it for a few seconds. "come on you pathetic littl-" you grab him and take him into your mouth. heeseung was caught off guard, evident by the loud moan he emits and the pure pleasure on his face.

you start bobbing your head up and down, and you stare up at him. heeseung could cum from that alone. you moan frequently around heeseung, causing him to tighten his grip on your scalp. he knows he's not going to last long. you feel tears gather in your eyes again as you try not to gag.

"what a slut, sucking on my dick. what if someone walks in, huh? seeing you all hungry for my cock, isn't that embarassing?" heeseung says in between breaths and he tries his best to make his words clear, but it's hard, knowing the number of sensations he's being given right now.

you moan at the response, your cheeks are literally burning from his words. you grab his balls and play with them. you're drooling and the sounds you were making while sucking him off were disgusting, but hot. heeseung feels like he's about to explode in your mouth, his toned stomach clenched.

"baby, i'm close. i, fuck! want you to swallow all of it, okay?" heeseung starts shaking even more.

his hair is messy, some of it even sticking to his forehead, which was covered in sweat. his cheeks were burning too, some drool was evident on the corner of his mouth, and he remembers he still has his formal attire on, which was sticking to skin, slick with sweat.

heeseung moans beautifully as he cums in your mouth. he was overwhelmed, trembling from his orgasm. his orgasm was so intense that he saw black for a few seconds and his legs were about give in any moment. you moan as you start tasting heeseung's cum, your mouth starting to fill up, heeseung came a lot.

heeseung takes a moment to recover before pulling you off his dick. "say ah." heeseung leans down and tilts your head up, and you show him his liquid inside your mouth. "and... swallow." you swallowed, tingly because of the salty taste of him. "good boy."

you stand up, and heeseung pulls you into a kiss again. the both of you tumble and fall onto the couch, and you continue kissing each other deeply. heeseung then shuffles down and covers your neck in kisses, which tickles and makes you shiver. heeseung emits small breaths and moans from time to time.

"h-heeseung." heeseung bites your neck with some force, and you hiss from the pain. he was so aggressive, letting out his pent-up emotions and need for you. heeseung moves up and places his lips next to your ear, growling.

"turn around for me and slide your pants off." you did as he told, positioning yourself. you grab a pillow and hold onto it while unzipping your pants and letting them pool around your ankles. "so fucking beautiful." heeseung then proceeds to rip your boxers off, and you find yourself yelping at that.

heeseung massages the skin of your ass while watching your rock-hard dick twitch. you brace yourself and heeseung finds it cute how you'd let him do anything to you.

you cry out as heeseung gives your ass a hard slap, crying out into the pillow. heeseung massages the now flushed skin before slapping it twice, then thrice. you were a crying mess at this point - heeseung moves back to admire his work, your ass red and hot.

heeseung couldn't wait any longer, rubbing his huge cock against your hole, and you clench in response. he slowly pushes the head in and the two of you share a moan. he enters you fully before wrapping his arms around your torso, head resting on your back.

"goddamn, you're tight. that needy for me, huh? my slutty boy, my rival?"

"i could say the same to you, desperate to fuck your rival you definitely hate."

the two of you laugh together and heeseung lets go of you and digs his nails into your waist, and you were sure there'd be some marks. heeseung slowly pulls out until his head was almost out of your hole. three, two, one. heeseung sends his hips forward, which launches you forward, and you scream into the pillow. "yes! oh fuck!"

heeseung had to bring one of his hands to his mouth to keep himself quiet. he watches himself disappear inside you, your ass bouncing from the force of his thrusts. you were shaking so much and your body temperature was unbelievably high, and you forgot that you still had your attire on, which was sticking onto your skin due to your sweat. it was uncomfortable, but you barely noticed, heeseung was fucking you into oblivion. you were both in heaven.

heeseung tugs on your scalp and pulls your hair. he pulled it with so much force, you slip a cry between your moans, and you thought heeseung was going to break your fucking neck. the room quickly gets filled with the sound of skin on skin and your desperate cries and breaths for each other.

you try your best to turn around to look at heeseung, who stares at you, eyes-half lidded.

"goddamn, you're so good for me, so needy for me." heeseung moans loudly.

you stare at each other needily, before sharing another deep kiss. your chin is covered with tears, sweat and saliva. it was so sinful but it was so hot.

"oh my god! yes!" you scream and shove your face into the pillow when heeseung repeatedly taps your protate. "fuck, fuck, heeseung! it feels so good!" heeseung starts plowing into you, your cries for him fueling his eagerness to make you cum. "come on baby boy, cum for me. show me how much you love my cock."

both of your moans and cries of pleasure rise in pitch and you feel your dick start to tremble. heeseung knows he won't last any longer, he wraps his arms around your torso again and rests his head on your back. he finally got to fuck you after all those stolen glances at you, all those nights jacking off, imagining himself fucking you. he can't believe this is real.

"c'mon baby, fucking cum for me like the good boy you are." heeseung clenches his teeth and jaw and his neck veins start to decorate his neck. heeseung is fucking drenched in sweat, his hair all over the place, some drool on the side of his mouth, but he doesn't fucking care.

you scream your lungs out as you cum. you literally felt your pelvic muscles contract from how hard you came. you cum directly on the couch - heeseung lets out the prettiest cry of pleasure as he cums into you. the two of you just stay there, out of breath.

with his remaining strength, heeseung pulls out and watches his cum flow out of your pink hole. he closes his eyes as his tongue takes a taste of his cum and your hole.

"heeseung! n-not there!" he doesn't listen as he slurps and plays with your hole. you tasted amazing, and heeseung gives you a taste, sharing yet another deep kiss with you, and you swirl the juices in your mouth before swallowing them.

"are we still rivals?" heeseung asks as he sits down on the couch, exhausted. you sit down next to him and kiss him on the lips for one last time before grabbing a pile of tissues to clean up.

"yeah, with benefits."

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chezgender · 9 months

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Cha cha cha / It's crazy it's party comparison

@tmrwds post and @izpira-se-zlato addition gave me brainworms. @kylla-kylla also saw the connection between ICIP and CCC and I saw their post after I started writing this. So I'm definitely not alone in being insane. Thus here is my own rant about It's Crazy it's Party.

Notes:

ICIP lyrics transcript taken from @koppitules on twt, translation taken from a Käärijä discord

CCC lyrics and translation from lyricstranslate.com

Disclaimer: This analysis is purposefully exaggerated/dramatic in order to highlight contrast. I do think Jere loves his job and career, ICIP is definitely a fun song in which you can find (or not) a deeper meaning, it's up to your interpretation. I just love angst lol please don't come at me I'm sensitive 🤡😭

(ps. sorry to all the people I tagged. You don't have to interact with this, I just wanted to give proper credit)

Let's start. Bear with me being cringe.

First verse

At the beginning of CCC, we see how partying is reserved for the weekend - it's something cathartic after a long week of responsibility and worries, it's an outlet for stress and negativity. The world can't scare him no more, as he mentions later in the song, now that he's having fun.

In ICIP, people have pointed out how the first verse reminds them of CCC, musically wise. This is definitely on purpose, the main difference lies in the lyrics. Here Jere reveals that partying now it's an everyday thing. It's an endless circus of traveling despite everything, he's the cog in a machine bigger than him. The world that seemed so tiny compared to the fun, is now scary - the party is now and tomorrow and 365 days a year, in Finland and even abroad. As if there was no safe place. He can't escape it and it's overwhelming to the point "you'll feel it in your hair and your ass" (honestly, weird phrasing, but it gets the point across I guess?). Either way, this party is almost ineluctable.

Chorus

In the CCC chorus he says he wants to forget about the pains of daily life by getting wasted and drinking with both hands on as many drinks as he can hold, until he won't even be able to get up. Honestly, although this doesn't seem like a healthy coping mechanism (but I'm none to judge), it does look willing and deliberate - he makes the choice of getting drunk on the weekend. He's in control of when the party happens.

In ICIP instead the chorus is shorter, and quite tautological: crazy is crazy, party is party, and life is life, you know? (see @tmrwds for a cultural insight on the "elämä on laiffi" phrase). There's a different feeling in this chorus, the singing is soft and maybe even a bit sexy but the lyrics hold a touch of resignation in between. This party is not a deliberate choice anymore, Jere doesn't get to choose when his life is crazy/party and when he gets to rest.

CCC 2nd verse / ICIP Tommy's verse

Without need for lyrics, also because most people have a hard time understanding what Tommy was singing live, I'll talk about this in brief. I chose to include it because Jere himself sang some parts of it during the live - mostly echoing, but still.

In CCC, Jere parties almost alone. Well, it's implied that there's more people to that party but the song is about him, his own liberation from stress and whatever thing was keeping him bound and off the dancefloor. There are no explicit references to other people.

In ICIP instead, Tommy sings about a club in which they enter and people go crazy. They talk about sex in a rather crass way, probably for kicks, but as mentioned in @tmrwds post, it could definitely hint at the wrong kind of attention Jere is receiving. People in his DMs and probably even in person are making more or less explicit advances on him, surely unsolicited, but it's part of the party.

And Tommy invites Jere to party with him (that modulated voice parodically reminds me of the beginning of Barbie Girl by Aqua). Jere says yes, of course he wants to party with him, right here right now (no matter the day, or his condition, does he really have a say in it?)

Another thing I'd like to point out:

Jere in CCC mentions "it's hard to talk when this different side of me does its part" / Tommy in ICIP mentions how the alcohol makes it hard to think (obviously, but I'm clinically insane and I see intertextuality everywhere) - so, basically, the "side of him" Jere talks about in CCC renders him carefree, maybe happy, definitely free of burdens. In ICIP, this "part of him" seems to have taken complete control to the point Jere can't tell himself from it.

Last part of ICIP

"Let's go party" leads to a countdown - inexorable and short, leaving everyone little time to get ready. The song explodes like a bomb, reminds me of a breakdown in a Korn song. The bass hammers hard and everyone is jumping, hearts bursting, everything is out of control. To quote @izpira-se-zlato , there's an apocalyptic feeling to it. Jere can't do anything but let himself be engrossed without a chance to escape. Which he can't, lest he gives everything up.

Where CCC was party metal with a touch of eurodance, ICIP definitely belongs to an insane rave. It reminds me of Dutch hardstyle, dubstep and a touch of eurodance until the end, which screams industrial/nu metal to me, only adding to the concept of hammering and exhausting work/lifestyle.

We could say that It's Crazy it's Party is the Välikuolema to Cha Cha Cha's Viuliunkieli, in a way.

Jere is a storyteller in most of his songs, and it's clear he likes such narratives to carry on between different tracks (i.e: I think the Viulunkieli/Välikuolema narrative carries on to Morgan), so it's only fair to assume the two songs combined tell a whole story.

Further speculation: Jere has often said he's really tired in this precise moment - the relentless touring throughout summer is obviously taking a toll on him, no matter how much he can love what he does. It would be exhausting for anyone. Plus, the "ghost" of ESC follows him everywhere: sometimes I get the feeling many people perceive him as the CCC-guy rather than the complete artist he is, so maybe he's trying to change this.

As many people already said, the story Mikke posted with the grave being dug could hint at the burial of green-bolero-Käärijä. I don't believe Jere is denying the fame and good things it has brought, but he's probably willing to turn the page and carry on with something new (and probably take a long, well deserved break). Or maybe the MV will just be homoerotic softp-rn featuring a grave, WHO KNOWS. I just know I can't wait to see what's next. I love ESC-Käärija (without CCC I wouldn't even be aware of his existence, so I'm forever grateful) and that love will forever be a part of me, but I also welcome this change with open arms in hopes to see him grow more and more.

Conclusion: the speculation is very real and material and I am very very cringe <33

#käärijä #jere pöyhönen #kaarija #cha cha cha #it's crazy it's party #ccc #icip #meta #song analysis #music #eurovision #tommy cash

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blitzor0de0 · 1 month

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I have another request for a very niche character lol;

Vox’s unnamed assistant x reader. All I’m asking, is a mutual crush between the two but can’t be together because of some claus in their contracts or whatever. So they work around it and are like;

“A date? No, no! We’re not going on a coffee date! It’s uhhhhh lunch break so we’re going as coworkers!” *They’re dressed up a little too nicely*

“You saw us kiss? Pffft don’t be ridiculous! He just came out of the water and needed help breathing-“ “He’s a fish, y/n” “—a fish out of water!!! I was helping him breathe!”

Idk funny cute fluffy things like that lol

-Self proclaimed anon ✖︎

Bonus:

“Is that a hickey on readers neck-?”

“N-no! That’s a bruise! I accidentally fell on them. Mouth first. And sucked—“

had to answer this one as soon as I could because what the flip. one voice line and 10 seconds of screen time I know I said niche but GUYS ✊😭 I respect it I get it he's a cutiepie!!

So !! going for a different style for this one since I've got limited content to work with, so headcanons + a little blurb if that's quite alright.

I've seen people call him Papermint, so I'll do exactly that !! Now introducing (probably) the world's first Vox's assistant X reader

I Can See You (Vox's Assistant x Fem!Reader)

Headcanons:

• I feel as though the more the two of you try to hide your relationship, it grows more obvious to those around you, not even a child would fall for your excuses.

Mouth to mouth...? On a fish? Y/N.. that's not how it works :(((

• After a long day of your jobs, the two of you find each other cuddled up on the couch, running your fingers through his hair as he rants about how overworked he is. Ten times out of ten, he'll do the same for you once he's destressed.

• Rubs his cheek against yours frequently, it's how fish show love to one another!

• I like to think he has some water manipulation powers, so blows some heart shaped bubbles towards you (what a cutiepie)

• malewife, so pathetically in love with his s/o it puts moxxie to shame, though his workload from Vox is.. a lot! He always finds the time of day to get you lunch, or bring you a coffee whilst at work

• tail wags when he's around you, a not so subtle indicator of your relationship especially when you're visiting Vox's floor.

• The two of you got caught by Valentino on a date once, it was an anxious rest of the night for the two of you, that toothy grin filling you with fear. Val proceeded to not tell his fellow Vees, he lives for the drama. Besides many of his employees are dating on the sidelines he just doesn't gaf until it gets in the way of their work.

Blurb:

“Shush! Someone will catch us if we're not quiet enough!” You whispered sharply, yet rather obvious that you were holding back a giggle.

Hidden away in an unused room was you and someone rather unlikely, Vox’s very own assistant, Papermint.

The two of you usually had to meet in secret like this, the Vee’s had a rule within their contracts stating co workers could not date one another. Whilst Papermint — obviously — worked for Vox as his personal assistant, you ran errands for Velvette, meaning the two of you would bump into each other frequently, opting to do whatever task your V made you do, together, teamwork makes the dream work afterall!

It started as little waves as you passed one another in the tower, to soft smiles, to having small chats in the lobby. The two of you tried to keep it professional, knowing the strict rule in your contract, but it was as if the two of you were magnets, constantly drawn to one another. The thrill of a secret relationship was like an addiction to you, it was dizzying.

Pulling him into one last kiss, you prepared yourself to leave and finally get yourself back to work. Giving a soft giggle towards your fishy boyfriend.

"I'll see you after work."

And with that you left the room, straightening out your skirt. You did remain just down the hall, chatting away with one of Velvette's models as Papermint left the room.

Coincidentally, he made it to the Elevator at the exact time as his boss.

"Is that lipstick..?" Vox asked him, causing the fish's face to flush. Oh how you wished to see. He must be so flustered, it was adorable to see him in such a state.

Eventually you had to make your way up to Velvette's floor, she must be exploding with impatience by now.

"Ma'am, anything you need me to do?" You spoke, approaching Velvette who looked, rather overwhelmed, you had no clue why she didn't just call you, but the fashionista was quite the stubborn one.

"Ugh. Y/N there you are, I need you to follow up on Melissa, I haven't seen her for a few days and if she doesn't show up in an hour I will kill her myself. Oh! Fuck's sake I forgot Valentino tore apart my best model, go see if she's strung herself back together I can't waste any more time. She knows how to work a runway and-" She paused, squinting towards you.

"Is that a fucking hickey? What are you, twelve? You best not be shagging anyone here in your spare time, I do not have the fucking time to find a replacement for you."

You gulped, okay Vel was definitely in a worse mood than usual, you simply nodded

"I'll get on that ma'am, it's also just a bruise.. you know how rough the streets are.." You quickly turned on your heel, bolting to the elevator.

"I'm not fucking stupid Y/N! Watch it before you get fired!" She called out after you.

You'd have to talk to Papermint afterwards, neither of you wanted to jeopardise your careers, so perhaps everything had to be kept under the collar from now on. But for now, the two of you were each others secret mission.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hh x reader #vox's assistant #vox assistant #vox assistant x reader #blitzor0de0

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