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kniveschaudefender · 5 months

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hi !! can you do a gideon graves x male!reader who owns a flowershop? (if you dont do male readers thats ok lol, gn!reader is good too)

Better than Any Boquet

(a Gideon Graves x male flowershop owner! reader)

EEE MY FIRST REQUEST !! (TYSM ANON IM LITERALLY SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS) ALSO I DO ALL GENDER READERS !! SO MALE READER ISNT A PROBLEM AT ALL !!! ^_^ (ALSO I WILL SAY THAT THIS SUUUUUPER LONG. I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT ANY SHORTER BUT PLS DONT BLAME ME IM BARELY STARTING 🙁 ) BUT I RLLY DO HOPE U ENJOY BC THIS HONESTLY TOOK ME SO LONG TO PUT TOTHER. BUT THANK U AGAIN !!! <3333 (also this isnt proofread so)

Gideon had been acting..strange lately. The league noticed, his employees noticed, even he noticed ! But, nobody could seem to pinpoint what exactly it was.

He had been going out more, being a little bit less harsh on certain people, and the biggest thing people noticed was the amount of flowers around now. Of course nobody dared to ask, heavens no ! But still, it was strange. It’s not like he was a big fan of the flowers himself, but for some reason he had so many around.

Eventually, it had started as a routine. Day after day he would do the exact same thing ! Saying he needs to go do something ‘important’ out, taking his leave, and ending up in the local flowershop. But why ? Its not like he was there for the flowers, no. He had a better reasons.

He walks in, his mind somewhere else before hearing something that completely snapped him out of it. A simple, “Good morning, Mr, Graves!”

< Thats > what he was here for.

The nice owner, thats what he was here for! How could we forget? How could he forget such a nice boy, the same boy who helps him every day no matter how many questions he asks or how many times he ends up repeating them. He even remembered his name! Not by the fact that he’s THE Gideon Graves, but by the fact that he comes in every day to his shop !

Will he ever admit its for him? Maybe later. But right now? Certainly not ! He can’t lose such a ‘friendship’ with this lovely boy he’s met ! For now, he simply comes in, looking for him at the desk in the front. Asking things such as “How do I take care of these?” or “What type of flowers would go best with this event ?” . Simple things to hide the fact that he’s only there to see him and to hear him talk.

After about an hour of mindless questions and small talk, he comes home, once again with a boquet of flowers in hand. He couldn’t help it ! He HAD to buy flowers every time he’d go in there, or he’d leave feeling a bit bad. So, there he goes, grabbing another empty vase and putting some water in it, then placing the flowers inside.

He sighed, looking around at all the flowers he now had. How long could he keep this up ? How long could he push his feelings for this boy away and just keep going and buying flowers, never making a move?

It honestly didn’t take long, he was running out of room for flowers and was so head over heels he couldn’t help himself anymore.

Though, for the first time he couldn’t help but feel a bit afraid. Would you like him? I mean yeah, he does have quite the name and ego, not to mention the billions he has in cash, but would you really find him attractive? He guessed he’d just have to find out.”

He spent about a week thinking about this.

Infact, he spent the whole time trying to distract himself, he had forgotten to go to the flowershop. After the week, he had finally decided to go say something. Thats when he remembered. He spent the whole week away from YOUR presence after being there non-stop for a few months!

Now he was really worried. He probably made you sick thinking something must have happened since he stopped coming for a whole week!

So, off he went! Sprinting down the street to the flowershop, holding on to his glasses for life. His plan? Say everything through a letter. He couldnt get himself to say it to your face, no matter how big of an ego he had.

He comes in, pushing the door open, almost falling over as he catches his breath before looking up. And there you were, making direct eye contact with him as you out new fresh flowers in a certain section.

“Mr. Graves! There you are! I was wondering where you’d been.” You say, giving him that same, sweet smile.

“Please..call me Gideon.” He says, closing the door behind him as he comes in entirely. “I have something..a bit more important for you this time.” “Anything! What do you need, Gideon?” He liked how you had listened without a question.

“I need a boquet of roses, the best ones you’ve got, and I need you to put this letter in there. But, I’d like you to read it first.” He says, handing the note to him. “I need these by 5 p.m today, and I’d like for you to write me a reply on the letter of what you think.”

With that he mutters a “Thank you” and runs out quickly, not even giving you a chance to respond.

You stand there, a bit dumbfounded. But, there was no need to go chase him down and question him. It seemed simple enough. So, you grab the roses, picking the best ones as he’d asked. Then, the letter.

You grab the letter, opening it slowly, then is when you get met with something..suprising.

“Sorry about the leave, I couldn’t be here for this. All these visits were never about the flowers, it was about you. I wanted to get closer, but never knew how. I’ve liked you for all these months, and never knew how to truely say it. You were always too kind, and quite the handsome man too, giving me that smile every day I walked in, no matter how clueless I was about anything. Especially the flowers. But you always listened to me. But, I do love you and everything you do a lot. And I would love to have you by my side. Because to me, you’re better than any boquet.”

#gideon graves x reader #gideon graves #scott pilgrim x reader #scott pilgram vs the world #scott pilgram takes off #x reader stories #fluff #??? idk #i love gideon #thank u sm anon #writer #new writers on tumblr #vancesrambles

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shallowseeker · 7 months

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hello! i have a cas question for you today

do you think cas values monster or half human lives? we know he cares about human lives sometimes, and besides jack and jesse turner i cant remember another half breed cas is in contact with in the series (i could be wrong its been a bit).

early seasons i would hesitate to say either way, he did what he had to do for his end goal.

later seasons im drawing blank because fundementally this is still the same character, sure he has more respect for life but does it extend to not fully human ones?

jack has been the exception but it probably helped that he had heavenly parentage (even if it is lucifer)

Oh, no. What a difficult question. I don't know! Or, I don't have words for it, anyway. I guess, let's ramble about it, then? Maybe something will come of it or someone else can chime in...

///

DOES CAS VALUE MONSTER AND HALF-HUMAN LIVES? On the whole, I think no-ish. (But happy to be challenged on this?)

Broadly, I think he values human lives in a very chivalrous way, and I think he values angel lives in a very egalitarian, punching-up sort of way. (He'll do what he can to help them, but they're fair game when it comes to killing.)

I think hybrids live in a liminal space depending on whether he views them as more human-oriented or more predator-oriented. Jesse Turner was an active threat to humans, but Jane the Nephilim was viewed more neutrally, as an expendable innocent.

Even with Jack, Cas emphasizes his human qualities and pushes him to human media and toys and the "softer," human hunting way of warrior life. (Ironically, despite Cas's best intentions, Jack gets wrapped up in angelic civil war at just six months old!)

Cas seems to freak out when Jack edges closer to being purely celestial/soulless. Part of that is because Jack seems to die when unbalanced one way or the other (Byzantium). But part of it is that Cas is uncomfortable with his own brutality as well as the brutality of his angelic brethren, and I suspect that he doesn't want Jack to embody the worst parts of himself.

///

THE LOCUS OF MORALITY IS HUMANITY I hinted at this before, but I actually don't view Cas as much of a morally relative dude. Typically, he doesn't even indulge in moral relativism. He's far too pragmatic most of the time...

(Compare this to Sam, who seems to enjoy the academic exercise of troubling himself over morality. He seesaws into moral relativism on many occasions.)

Cas served Heaven for millennia but allegedly was the spanner who always tended to favor protecting humanity. Ergo, I think his morality is naturally more human-centric. He likes humanity. (He didn't just rebel for Dean. It was about his pre-existing values. He's the human-oriented spanner.)

CAS: Well, perhaps I've been down here with them for too long. There's seemingly nothing but chaos. But not all bad comes from it. Art. Hope. Love. Dreams.

In terms of the cosmic hierarchy, maybe Jody Mills was right to get prickly about Cas's natural chivalry. Cas actually is, cosmically speaking, a "women and children first," kinda guy.

I love the idea that Jody and Cas would butt heads because she doesn't hesitate to push against his lone-wolf crap.

///

HUMANITY ON A PEDESTAL? Anyway, because of this, we see Cas putting humanity on a pedestal a lil' bit. Like humanity is his "Don Quixote's Columbine," maybe. But there's a glimmer of de-idealization in later seasons, and he seems wholly aware that he's chosen to center his human family due to his own desires.

Even Dean seems aware of a family-first mentality, which is why he threatens Kaia in 13x09 and why Cas brain-melts Donatello in 13x14. They're actually moving in sync, even though they both know it's ethically gray. Dean's discomfort, I think, even for his own actions, comes out by being prickly with Cas re:ethics.

Devil's Bargain 13x13:

CAS: Right now, all that matters is getting Jack and your mother out of that place.

Cas shows he's aware of and comfy with morally centering his human family in 13x22 Exodus. I don't think he's flying blind, either. I think he's thought about the implications of his allegiance re:ethics. It's as he tells Claire in season 10, "There is no righteous path."

AW-CASTIEL: You align yourself with the h-humans. CAS: I vastly prefer them to angels. AW-CASTIEL: Don’t think that you are better than me. Well, we are the same. CAS: Yes. We are.

And that's a big theme with SPN as a series--the horror of recognizing yourself in the Other, whether that's the Enemy or your Adversary or even your Food Source. But with regards to Cas, you sort of hope he sees you as family...and not the pig to be comforted and slaughtered (season 7).

Likewise, Jack as an entity is uncomfortable. As he grows into his powers, he moves further from his human family, at least in terms of the cosmic hierarchy. It's what AU Michael was crooning about in 14x09 The Spear.

AU MICHAEL: Your loyalty to Castiel, the Winchesters, the rest of humanity? It will fade. And so will the minor differences -- angel armies versus monster armies, this Kansas City or that Kansas City, one world from another -- they'll fade, too.

In 14x15 Peace of Mind, Jack insists the snake isn't hungry, but really it's because it's probably just uncomfortable to watch snakes eat mice.

That's why he's trying to feed two cute lil white mice to Felix the snake... (Motif-> "Sam and Dean being fed to a celestial.") It's why, "I don't think you have a good handle on what snakes eat." It's why Dean is playing Mouse Trap in Game Night 14x17.

It's why the weapon Chuck shoves at Dean is named the Equalizer. Dean and Jack naturally exist on different power scales, and it's uncomfortable and tragic and cruel!

///

CAS + DE-IDEALIZATION I think there's this fanon tendency to view Cas as some kind of delicate flower who's been lured into siding with humanity. But along with the stuff above, I just don't see it that way. Cas is pretty pragmatic about his motivations.

He's trying to live with the family he wants, to the point of creating sufficient cause to do so (raising Jack), and he's trying to keep Heaven on tap as a power source to bully his way into whenever he needs it.

This is how Kelvin pitches getting back into Heaven's graces in season 12, actually! He tells Cas to imagine "coming and going as he pleases," and having "all the might of Heaven waiting in the wings."

(I think too of that poor drunken angel he throws around in 14x19, lol).

Here are some de-idealization conversations I like that involve Cas:

14x14 Ouroboros:

CAS: Maybe we're wrong and -- and this isn't a monster at all. Maybe this is just a deranged person who's been getting lucky. JACK: Anyone who could do this is a monster. I mean, even if they're human. DEAN: Kid's not wrong.

15x15 Gimme Shelter:

JACK: Sam was right. It's not a monster. (Jack puts the shovel into the back of the truck.) CASTIEL: Well, he has half right. Sometimes humans can be the worst kind of monsters. JACK: Yeah, but it's kind of not our thing. Guess we should just go back to the bunker and do nothing while we wait for Sam and Dean. (He telegraphs disappointment, hoping Cas will feel sorry for him.) CASTIEL: No. No, we're gonna stay. We can help. (Jack smiles.)

And 15x18 Despair, where he finally turns away from the idea of Jack's Big Destiny:

CASTIEL: We don't care about you because you're useful or because you fit into some grand design. We care about you because you're you.

It's nice. Cas isn't a simple dude.

///

WHY IS JACK AN EXCEPTION? But yes, you're right that Jack is an exception for Cas. I think we can all see that. But is that due to Jack's hybrid status?

Kinda, I think? Maybe a little bit, but...how do I put this? I don't think propping up Jack is a moral stance. It feels more like a personal one.

Jack represents an angelic force with all the bells and whistles of the "gentler" humanity. It represents Cas's romanticized self. Cas wants to be human but isn't. Jack can be like Cas but be allowed to dwell within the human world and experience his own emotions without being stymied by and giving into "angelic brutality."

So, Jack.

Jack represents an idealized future for Cas, too. Jack is a sufficiently Holy, Earth-bound cause, giving Cas a solid excuse to stay bedded down with his chosen human family.

When Cas talks about Jack, he talks a lot about his promise to Kelly. There's guilt there, for sure. It was his springing of Lucifer from jail that resulted in Kelly being preyed upon.

I honestly think Jack is really, really complicated and multi-faceted for Cas. If you scroll down to this bottom part of my original SPN parenting meta, "Cas loves Jack, but Jack is a good excuse," I talk more about why I feel that way. (WARNING: It's long. You have to scroll a looot.) /// When he's not being lobotomized by Heaven, Cas tends to put his loyalties where his "seflish" love is, even if that results in the killing of innocents like Jane the Nephilim and Rowena's Oskar.

CASTIEL: But she didn't choose to be a Nephilim, so she's innocent. METATRON: Yes, she is. I told you it wasn't gonna be easy. But if you want to do this, Castiel, if you really want to do this, you got to ask yourself what's more important – her life or your family?

#asks #hard asks #cas stuff #rambling answers

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crackedramblings · 21 days

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Notes from 6.4.24

I dreamed about Dolly Parton. In the dream, I was involved with a group that she was a panel member on. I remember someone was trying to get her involvement to write a new song, or something like that. I felt it was disrespectful to her artistic process, but she was gracious about it and said she'd be happy to help.

IRL, hope springs eternal. I hope CA's dream is representative of the truth. There are so many weird conspiracy theories going around about the end times (I read too many conspiracy forums I guess). But that's been true since I was a kid and we're all still here. If I heard about the three days of darkness again, IDK. I might scream. Now they think the eclipse will trigger some major earthquakes over here. Which, may in fact happen because it's been 200 years or whatever since a big one where I live and we're due. Sometimes I wonder if this focus on waiting for the end is keeping me from actually living. But then I remember what my life was like when I was 'living' (aka working a job) and I like waiting better.

Yesterday was all over the place emotionally. In the morning I was irritated af because I agreed to go grocery shopping with hubs. I did NOT want to go. But I said I would, so whatever. We got it over with. In the afternoon/evening I was starting to feel some energy; I started thinking "I could start over if I wanted. Move to a new state. Work a crap job and earn enough to pay to rent a room somewhere." But then I remembered the crap jobs I've worked and how miserable I was. I'm just one big blob of moods and emotions anymore. I've cried randomly based on made up scenarios in my head several times lately.

I felt some energy probing me last night. Not sure what that was about. It was prickly and slightly uncomfortable. I felt it in my back especially. And whoever/whatever it was, or even if it was just me, I told it to stop being irritating. But I didn't have any fear.

I don't even really want to type this out, in case I jinx it, but I will. I've started seeing things changing. I don't mean I'm seeing glitches in the matrix. But in the attitudes and viewpoints of certain people I follow, certain forums I read. It seems as if there's a shift underway toward points of view that are more aligned with how I feel. It doesn't really even matter whether I'm right or wrong, or even what I believe or don't. It's just significant (to me) that I feel my environment is starting to reflect back to me in certain ways the opinions I hold, which are fairly niche. Maybe it's something, maybe it's nothing. We'll see.

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hells-plaid-angel · 2 years

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An existential crisis counts as a prayer. Dean learnt this in the most inconvenient way possible.

It was just him, Baby and the highway. Sam had decided to run a case with Eileen and Dean was getting restless, so he had to chase some ghosts of his own. Cas was doing whatever the hell he did when he wasn’t with the brothers. Something to do with Heaven, other angels, and the end of the world. Regular Tuesday stuff, in their lives.

The thing was Dean was alone. Him and the highway. Another lone hunt. If not for the ache in his bones from the long drive, he’d say he was twenty-six again. The highway and in theory, the whole world, resided just outside the Impala’s windows. In theory, he could go anywhere. He could do anything. Yet, he was on a hunt, wishing to be anywhere else, with anyone else besides himself. It was history repeating itself. He wondered if he lived another ten years if he’d find himself alone on another highway. Sam and Eileen were getting cosy. Dean was happy for them. He was, but he was also having to face the fact that he might end up being alone, again.

There was always Cas. The angel operated like a summer storm. He appeared from nowhere. His visits were always fleeting. A storm was a natural occurrence, there was no end to storms, but you couldn’t set your watch to them. There were always droughts. You couldn’t count on a storm to hang around. Dean could count on having Cas around some of the time, but not always.

He let the wheel drift and felt the car roll onto the rumble strip of the road. He hoped it’d shake some sense into him, shake the thoughts loose. It was easier with other people around, they distracted him. The wheel jerked from Dean’s hand, veering the car back into the centre of his lane. Dean blinked down and saw a hand hovering over the steering wheel.

“Dean,” Cas breathed in lieu of his normal ‘Hello, Dean’. His voice sounded thin. At first, he thought Cas was irritated, but when he got a better look at the man, bathed in the glow of the intermittent highway lights, he realised Cas was worried.

“What happened?” Dean asked, ready to hear how their latest endeavour to stop the apocalypse had gone down in flames.

“I was about to ask you the same thing,” Cas confessed.

“I thought you were in danger. I felt... odd,” The angel elaborated.

Dean wasn’t an idiot, it didn’t take him too long to put two and two together. He’d been thinking about Cas, wishing Cas was there. He guessed that was as good a prayer as any. He wasn’t about to confess that though.

“Maybe your angel radio has its wires crossed,” He reasoned. Cas gave him a look, to let Dean know he didn’t think that was the case, but thankfully he didn’t argue. If anyone asked Dean about their ‘profound bond’ he would call it bullshit, but at times like this, he wondered if there could be a bit of truth to it.

Instead, Cas asked where Sam was and then about the case. He gave Dean an update on what had happened on his end since the two last spoke. He didn’t seem in a hurry to leave. Dean hoped Cas still couldn’t feel him ‘praying’ because no matter how hard he tried to stop his brain from begging Cas to stay, it all went the way of the ‘don’t think about pink elephants’ thing. All he wanted Cas to do was stay. Dean lost track of how their conversation got there but he found himself speaking,

“Cas, you ever think people like us could learn to stay in one place... settle down?”

If Cas was a summer storm, Dean was a fish in a river. He was always drifting through life. He could go with the flow of the water or he could fight his way upstream. Either way, he’d be in the same damn river. There was a world outside the water, of course, but in that world of stillness, Dean couldn’t breathe. Storms come to rivers. Rivers don’t come to storms. Dean didn’t know how to vocalise any of this. Even if he could, he wouldn’t.

“Probably not,” Cas admitted pragmatically, suddenly refusing to look at Dean.

“But I believe, perhaps ‘people like us’ could learn to be unsettled, together.”

Dean had heard enough stories, praised both as signs of God, meddling of the occult and freak incidences, easily explained away by science about times where the sky rained fish. Maybe that was what he and Cas were, a freak incident that might just work.

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huggybearsunshine · 2 years

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Yours

[Sequal to Mine] Dean says the wrong thing and ends up needing some advice on how to be better.

Halfway through their meal, Dean had learned two things. That introducing Cas to new foods was going to be one of his favorite things and that he was starting to like having Cas there to sooth his mind when it started to take a turn.

His realizations seemed to also brighten the celestial within him, but it was like the Angel was trying to reel it in. Like his happiness was twinged with fear.

He wanted to know why but thought it best to have that discussion in private.

Cas’ nerves flared at the thought, and Dean couldn’t help but laugh lightly under his breath.

Sorry, the hunter thought to himself, I basically just pulled a ‘we need to talk’ on you…

Dean was met with Cas’ confusion and it inspired an image of Cas’ scrunched face and tilting head. The Angel’s humor lit within Dean, pulling a smile to his lips.

I forgot thinking it is basically like saying it to you, Dean reassured him silently, You’re so stoic most of the time- the insider knowledge is… I don’t know, it’s kinda fun, I guess…

Dean glanced up to find his Mom’s eyes on him, an expression on her face that he couldn’t place.

“Sorry, did you say something?” he straightened up in his chair.

“No, I’ve just,” she paused but seemed to decide to follow through anyway, “never seen you smile like that.”

Dean’s eyes widened and expression dropped, pulling an instant regret to Mary’s own.

She knows… Dean’s thought passed incriminatingly.

She looked down, busying herself with the fries on her plate.

Knows what?

Sam was painfully quiet and Dean didn’t dare look at him. Not that he could focus with the swarm of emotions coming from both himself and the Angel within.

Dean cleared his throat.

“I uh… I’m just happy everyone’s here and safe,” Dean offered before his thoughts could do any more damage, “Think I might turn in though… Today felt like a million years…”

He rubbed the bridge of his nose where a pressure had begun to build behind his eyes, but the Angel was quick to soothe it.

Thanks, Cas.

“Goodnight, Dean,” Mary touched his hand, and he squeezed before letting it go again.

“She set up in the guest room?” Dean asked, eyes cutting toward his brother as he stood.

“Yeah, get some rest,” Sam nodded, “We’re all good.”

“Yeah,” Dean nodded, suddenly nervous and swallowing a lump in his throat as he rounded the corner into the hall.

A need gnawed at the back of his mind until he inevitably broke.

“What is it?” he asked as they entered the bedroom and he could close the door behind them.

What Mary said to you… It scared you…

“Did it?” Dean asked, lacking anything better to say.

Yes, and… I’d like to know why if you’ll let me…

The word ‘you’ passed through their mind before he could stop himself.

What about me?

Dean just froze in place at that.

“Where do I start, man?” his resistance finally broke, “I don’t let people in…”

But you let me…

“Always let you,” he whispered gruffly.

Why?

“Because, Cas….” Dean ran a hand over his face.

The sudden rush of anxiety mixed with embarrassment and longing hit Cas as strongly as it did Dean. Only difference is that Dean was very familiar with the why behind this particular feeling.

What is this, Dean?

“You know what it is…”

I don’t… I need you to say it.

Panic set in, and Dean could feel Cas working to try to sooth it which only seemed to fuel the fire of disgust raging away inside him.

“Doesn’t matter…” he found himself hissing, “This isn’t happening.”

Nothing is happening, but Dean… your heart is racing.

“You’re stressing me out!” the hunter exploded.

I’m sorry. That was not my intention.

Dean was practically drowning in Cas’ disappointment and heartbreak.

And I think I understand.

“Cas, I’m-”

I’m going to give you some space…

“Wait, I really didn’t mean it- Cas…”

But the door closed yet again and Dean felt alone.

Way too alone.

“Sammy,” he found himself knocking on his brother’s door and running a hand through his hair.

“Dean?” he appeared in the doorway.

“I need some advice…” he pushed passed him into the room.

“Okay,” Sam eyed him suspiciously.

“Don’t say anything or I won’t be able to do this- seriously not a word,” Dean was stiff and his hands were clenched at his side, “Think you can do that?”

He turned his head to see his brother nod silently.

“Okay, I fucked up… Cas locked himself away ‘cause I’m a complete asshole… I keep shutting him down whenever he sees something I don’t want him to see or asks something I’m not ready for him to ask…” Dean spoke to the ground, “I don’t know what to do and I just keep saying the wrong things… But you’re good at that kind of stuff…”

“What kind of stuff are we talking about here?” Sam asked cautiously after a long enough pause that he thought he was safe to speak.

“Feelings…” Dean’s hand flexed at his side.

“Yeah…” Sam let out a held breath, “Yeah okay… So, first things first. I want you to say it- for yourself.”

“Say it…” Dean clarified dryly.

“Might make it easier to say to him,” Sam shrugged.

“So just say it now… to you?” he turned, looking at him like he was crazy.

“Why not?” Sam spoke patiently, “I’m your brother. Nothing you say is going to change things with us.”

“Yeah, okay,” Dean nodded warily, before taking a pause and then a deep, steadying breath, “I’m in love with Cas.”

A breath pushed out of Dean as his words settled, and panicked eyes found Sam’s.

“How’s it feel?” the younger of the brothers asked.

Dean took another deep breath, “I need to talk to Cas…”

“He’s gotta come back sometime,” Sam smirked.

“Right,” Dean shifted awkwardly, “Thanks, Sammy…”

“You’re welcome,” his grin grew into a more genuine smile, “Thanks for telling me.”

He nodded, then a thought, “You said first…” receiving a confused look, he clarified, “‘First thing’s first.’ First- As in second or third.”

“Second was ‘Talk to Cas’,” he replied as if it was obvious.

“Right,” Dean huffed before disappearing through the door.

“Good luck,” his brother’s voice called after him.

“Cas, come back,” he spoke aloud to himself as he stalked down the hallway, “Seriously, man, come on…”

Rounding into his room and shutting the door, he began to pace.

“Cas,” he grunted frustratedly, “How long are you gonna do this?”

He closed his eyes and squared his shoulders, trying to reach out to the Angel’s grace.

He supposed the block was mental, not physical so reaching out could alert him to undo the barrier.

Only problem was that Dean did it in the heat of the moment and wasn’t sure if it would happen again.

But just as he was about to give up, he felt it. A tingle down his spine at first, but what quickly turned to an overflow of liquid lightning overwhelming his senses.

“Cas,” he gasped.

What do you want, Dean?

Cas’ voice was raw and surprise settled over them which Dean would have to ask him about once everything was said and done.

“I want you,” the words dropped like they were made of lead, “I need to tell you… say it…”

Say, what?

“I’m in love with you,” Dean’s heart was pounding, and this time, the Angel didn’t rush to sooth his anxiety.

Instead, everything in him jolted and silence set in as a montage of the Angel’s emotions cycled, too fast for Dean to hold on to any of them.

He was lost, uncertain of what he had just done, and the not knowing proved to be too much.

“Is that okay?” the hunter asked quietly to the long stretch of silence, “You were going to figure out with us… being an us like this so I just needed to say it- get ahead of it, you know? But I’m sorry if this makes things weird…”

No, no it’s not… It doesn’t!

Dean’s anxiety broke as Cas’ thoughts and feelings quieted enough for him to interpret.

I love you too…

“Yeah?” Dean’s voice shook.

What does this mean?

Anxiety mixed with the elation swirling through them.

“What do you want it to mean?”

He was met with a strong panic, colored by the Angel’s uncertainty.

He tried to pour reassurance through the connection like Cas does, but wasn’t sure if it worked.

“We’ll figure it out as we go,” Dean smiled warmly, wanting to reach for him for real, “We need to get your body back… This is such a weird way to do this…”

I could try to heal myself in the morning but I’m not charged up enough yet… I would need to-

He tapped the hunter’s soul, sending a shiver up his spine.

“Do it,” Dean replied without missing a beat, and the feeling was immediate.

That same liquid lightning shooting through his body, but something was different this time.

Dean’s knees almost gave out beneath him, making him drop down to sit on his bed.

“Shit,” he breathed out as goosebumps covered his body, and Cas’ thoughts took a turn.

He was imagining Dean’s form with insane accuracy which pushed out a surprised hiss from the hunter.

“How do you know what I look like?” he shuddered out, and felt the cold embarrassment cloud the thoughts in their mind.

I rebuilt you… in hell… I know your every cell, Dean.

“Fuck…” he leaned back until he met the surface of the bed.

A flash in his mind of hands roaming over him had him jolting.

“I felt that…” he gasped.

The mind is a very powerful thing.

Cas’ voice sounded out of body for lack of a better term. Distracted, almost. Dean couldn’t imagine why.

“Cas, I want to… can I…” Cas saw his thoughts and knew exactly what Dean wanted to say but was holding back.

Yes. Please. Touch yourself.

He was met with a moan and Dean’s own roaming hand.

The hunter couldn’t be sure of much after that, too overwhelmed to retain any sort of clarity until he came to, breathing heavily in the aftermath as his body practically hummed.

“Wow…” is all Dean’s rebooting mind would allow, “That felt…”

Incredible.

Cas’ response was quiet but with an underlying contentment to it.

“I wish I could see you…” he added drowsily.

Soon…

“Soon,” his eyes started to flutter as sleep attempted to take him.

For the first time in as long as he could remember, Dean didn’t dream. His usual nightmares were nowhere to be found and he woke feeling better rested than he could ever remember before.

Cas…

It was Dean’s first thought and that fluttering feeling started up again in response.

Yes, Dean. I’m here.

“Good,” he groaned, stretching his arms out and feeling his muscles expand.

Oh, that feels nice…

“Yeah, it does,” Dean grinned, face smooshed into the bed, “Wanna try pancakes? Sam bought some blueberries I can steal.”

Cas agreed and a feeling of contentment settled over them.

With a heavy and somewhat begrudging sigh, Dean was on his feet, pulling his jeans on, and heading toward the kitchen.

He yawned as his feet padded onto the cold kitchen floor and it took a second to register that Mary was up. She was seated at the table there, book in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other floating halfway between her and the ring it had left on the table.

“Mom,” Dean’s pulse picked up a bit, “Hey.”

“Dean,” she smiled warmly, easing his anxiety at the sight of it, then it seemed to hit her, “And Cas! Good morning!”

This must be so strange for her, Dean caught himself thinking.

Yes, I would imagine so, Cas responded softly.

“Pancakes?” Dean offered, at a lack for words.

“Sure, sounds good,” she nodded.

Turning toward the cabinets, he began pulling things out that he would need when he heard his brother’s approaching footsteps.

“Oh hey,” Sammy pulled his headphones out, clearly post run.

Dean couldn’t bring himself to turn, uncertain of what Sam might say if he did.

You talked to Sam…

Yeah, before I pulled you back… Dean thought to himself.

“Cas back?” Sam asked with a poorly concealed smirk.

“Yep,” Dean answered shortly as he started portioning out the ingredients.

“Back?” Mary looked up in confusion, “He was gone?”

“He can shut himself away,” Sam explained.

“Did you two have a fight?” Mary’s brow knit in concern.

“Small thing, nothing to worry about,” Dean hurried through, “Everything’s good now.”

“Good,” Sam tapped the doorframe, “I’m gonna grab a shower and be right back. Don’t leave yet!”

“No rush, I’m staying for breakfast,” she responded as he disappeared back into the hallway.

The kitchen was then plunged into a heavy silence both in and outside of Dean’s mind and a sinking feeling pulled at his stomach.

“Go ahead,” he sighed resignedly.

“Me?” Mary asked, a little surprised.

“You’ve been looking at me like that since last night,” Dean added.

“Like what?” she asked as he turned to her with a raised brow.

“Like that,” he nodded toward her, and her face fell into a small smile.

“You seem different…” she admitted, “Happier.”

“I am,” he leaned against the counter for support as Cas’ grace sparked curiously.

“Can I ask why?” she whispered and leaned forward like they were sharing a secret.

It pulled a grin to Dean’s face as he looked down, gathering his nerve.

“I’m uh… I’m being honest about myself, I guess…” he stumbled verbally trying to find the right words, “Mom, I’m…”

He looked up again and froze at the knowing look in his mother’s eyes.

“It’s Cas, isn’t it?” she asked softly, attempting to help him out and his eyes softened gratefully in response.

“Yeah,” he spoke on a breath.

“You and Cas are-“

“Yeah,” he repeated.

“That’s great,” she assured him.

“Really?” his doubt poured out with the word.

“Yeah,” she nodded meaningfully.

Cas was suspiciously quiet so Dean nudged him to check.

I’m here… just… didn’t want to interrupt.

Warmth flooded his body as the thoughts surfaced in his mind and a pleasant hum escaped him.

“Pancakes,” Dean clapped after snapping out of his reverie and turning to continue the task.

“You want blueberries or no?” he asked over his shoulder as he fired up the stovetop.

“Blueberries, please,” she answered brightly, a lightness to the room that wasn’t there before.

“Blueberries it is,” he grinned to himself.

By the time Sam returned, Dean was serving the large stack of the breakfast to the table.

“Are those my blueberries?”

“Yep,” Dean felt a surge of pride, and he could practically see the Angel rolling his eyes.

——————

@spuffy-destiel @destieliscanon5nov

#dean winchester #castiel #sam winchester #mary winchester #possession #body sharing #castiel x dean #destiel #destiel fanfic #destiel fic #supportive sam winchester #mary ships it #spn #supernatural #castiel is not oblivious

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leahseclipse · 7 months

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Happy Anniversary, Cas.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Castiel

Summary: “I didn’t think it would be so important to you two. No one has done this for me before.”

Warnings: Slight spoilers for 4x1

Word count: 500

A/N: Happy 15th anniversary, Cas!!!!!!!!!

Under the starry sky, Castiel stood outside of the Bunker, watching over the stars he’s known for over two thousand years, having found a sudden interest in watching them from this angle, from so far away. He’s always been beside them and even contributed to their own creation, but it just felt special to him, at this exact moment.

It felt nice to appreciate something, not worrying about anything. Just being in the moment. Him and the whole universe.

And Dean. He felt him arrive before he could even announce himself.

“Hello, Dean.” Castiel said, hearing Dean muster up a ‘damn it’ as he walked up to stand next to him, at his left.

“I’m never gonna be able to show up without you knowing I’m coming, am I?” Dean looked at him, his face painted with an emotion between annoyance and sadness.

“Probably never, yes.” he said, lowering his head to glance at him. “But I will, though.”

“Believe me, I know. I’ve woken up to you standing right next to my bed way too many times.”

“I didn’t know I had to announce myself differently.” Castiel looked away shyly.

“Well, it was all you, no one did it like you did. Except demons.” Dean’s tone dropped to a grim one at the last word.

“At least my presence meant good news.” It brought a smile to his lips, saying this.

“That it did.”

“I’ll try not to surprise you too much in the future, I count on you to keep living for a long time.”

“Sweetheart you won’t get rid of me that easily, I’ve been through worse.” he stated, making Castiel smile brighter at the nickname. These feelings never stopped being overwhelming, in such an extraordinary way. “Hey, why don’t you… Why don’t we come inside for a moment? There’s something I’d like you to see.” Dean extended his hand to him.

“Of course.” Castiel took it without hesitation, following behind him as they descended the steps leading down the entrance of the bunker. He could hear another heartbeat as the door opened. He guessed it was probably Sam.

As soon as the library came into view, Castiel made note of the new additions in the room. A few candles evenly spread on the tables, and a single garland with small lights was tied at the entrance. A few balloons were tied to the wall and what seemed like sandwiches were also on the table. Sam was standing by one of the tables, hands behind his back.

“Is it supposed to be what you call… a birthday? If so, for who is it?” Castiel asked. He didn’t have a single clue as to what was going on.

“Well, it isn’t officially your birthday, more like… the anniversary of our first meeting.”

“You kept note of it?”

“Well, it also happened to be the day I came back, there was this journal with a date at the top. September 18, 2008. So, I remembered the day you appeared too, naturally. It wasn’t the most friendly first meeting, but still. You became important for us.”

“I didn’t think it would be so important to you two. No one has done this for me before.”

“Well, we did this to show you that you matter to us.” Sam stated.

“I see. We should celebrate Dean as well, then.”

“It is my resurection slash back from hell day after all, so... yeah.

"Alright. Let's do these anniversaries, then."

#supernatural #destiel #sam winchester #castiel #dea #supernatural dean #dean winchester fic

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hydralisk98 · 9 months

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Why we celebrate Halloween / Samhain like a silly parade of costumes and candy trickery

Hey fellow nerts, guess what time it is?

It’s "Helluva Boss" talkshow time on here, the thing you were awaiting for by far it seems. Sorry for the delays.

Anyway, you may need some context here:

I commissioned a Etsy email letter impersonating Stolas (real or fake correlation, at this point I don’t care.) to provide some comfort reading to myself, my family, my friends and you online observers over my passions.

And from said letter he asked a interesting question worth researching over. About the why / how we came to celebrate this Holiday like a silly pride parade with candies & costumes.

So here I am diving into such a response out of my genuine curiosity and care of all free-will gifted sapients. (not kidding over that monster club attitude)

As for most things we humans did and do in this reality, it comes down to historical traditions, games/questions and the overall social & playful core vibe of Homo Sapiens Sapiens as a species. (for most of such anyway, and no the constant is not that directly "Love" you hopeful romantics, that will be worth talking about another day...)

Turns out if I am to add to Halloween with insight from the contemporary relevance of such celebrations in the last century or so, it is a twisted way (derived from Celtic Samhain and other iron age traditions) from our ancestors to celebrate the dead, deter nefarious Hell's entities (or rather agents as I like to call each individual with free will and a sole body) from making Faustian / Mephistophelian bargains / pacts (you are doing fine enough Stolas, not everybody here are worth catering to...) or animistic tricking to encourage the respect of social etiquette guidelines (which is also worth pointing that it serves some axial age safety purposes too and ain't exclusively a anti-demons matter).

And as far as why I still decide myself to attempt disguising myself into the custom dark academia studious demon lady dress-up of my very own for this year's edition of Halloween? Well, first the Helluva Boss YouTube cartoon show trend obviously, the last few generations of young adults (mostly Gen Z but could apply to Millenials and the generation in between both to which I belong) overall tinkering alot with cultural prejudices as to celebrate pride in novel ways due to how radically right-wing and Wilsonistic-ally Fascist the status quo in the West became as of the last decade to fail at discourage deviation amongst more matters... But also because I do like to show my sympathies to other sapient phenotypes and make advantage of mundane plane's life on my very own terms (but not insulting others ofc) as well as the spiritual autistic transfeminine human I am.

Hopefully you all get a better glimpse at the human biases we have and to Stolas specifically I hope that is a enjoyable read with pertinent trivia information about this reality's human culture.

As for Octavia, I will be happy to provide her the safe-space she needs as we both learn and exercice the esoteric arts in a relatively remote rural environment. Caring is sharing and I am sure a constructive relationship is best for all parties involved here, no matter what specific reality we inhabit. Also applies for whoever polite enough to respect that mutual agreement.

The actual letter written from Etsy store indie seller "LettersFromTheWeb" at ( https://www.etsy.com/ca-fr/shop/LettersFromTheWeb ) if you are wondering:

Until we meet (again? Maybe in the flesh and bones perhaps?), farewell to you all and hoping that things get better for all of us.

#maskoch #actually autistic #helluva boss #youtube #comfort letter #birthday celebrations occuring today

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pink-pages · 9 days

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The Keeper of Night

Spoiler Alert

RRRAAAAAHHHH!!! I am so fucking angry with this book!!! Ok, maybe that’s a bit of an over exaggeration. It’s just that I just finished it, like, 5 minutes ago, and I hate the ending. It’s not that it’s a bad ending, it’s just that it’s not a happy ending. For anyone (Although, honestly, if it were a happy ending for Ren and Hiro, I still would have hated it). Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great book and I recommend it. It’s just one of those books where the ending is so soul-crushingly bleak that you want to tear your own hair out. So yeah, that’s why I deducted one star from my rating.

I deducted star #2 from my rating because I did not like the world of the Reapers. It’s not necessarily that Kylie Lee Baker’s world building was bad. She’s actually fantastic at descriptions. It’s just that the system the Reapers of England have for collecting souls seems so mundane. I also would have liked to see a little more of Ren’s life in London before she left for Japan. Obviously, I understand that there can’t be a whole lot of talking about her London life because the bulk of the action doesn’t happen until she reaches Japan, but seeing her interact with her father and stepmother would be helpful at building up her background.

Other than those two points (which are both matters of opinion), I really liked The Keeper of Night. Some of my favorite aspects of the book were Ren and Neven’s sibling interactions. I liked their bickering. I did not like their larger arguments as the book went on, but the light bickering about “goddamnit Neven, we’re trying to run away. Are you really bringing a cat?!” and other small stuff like that was fun. I also really enjoyed Hiro’s jokes.

I think the part about it that I loved the most was the folklore and myth. I loved learning the stories behind the different types of Yokai. I especially loved the little passages from Hakutaku’s book that Hiro read to Ren and Neven. I wish I could somehow get my hands on Hakutaku’s book (although I’m not sure if it’s even real).

The Keeper of Night also explores the biracial experience. Ren’s desire to be recognized as a Shinigami and her experiences in both England and Japan directly parallel the struggle between her identities as British or Japanese. This also relates to real life, often times biracial people are often not recognized as members of either of their communities. For example, a mixed race black and white person being seen as too black to be white but too white to be black.

Characters

Ren: I did not like Ren. Ren made me angry. I guess it’s partly because I don’t understand what it’s like to be identified as “other” on appearance by the people I identify with. No matter which part of her heritage Ren tries to identify with, she’s always recognized as an outsider. I don’t have that experience so I don’t understand her anger as much as other readers who relate to her can. That being said, her anger doesn’t excuse the way she treats her brother. Neven has stuck by her through everything. The only thing he asks is that she not kill people indiscriminately and be very wary of Hiro and in the end, she chooses Hiro over him. That’s something I will never forgive her for. As an older sibling myself, I would always always put my sisters above any boyfriend or love interest. I’m honestly more angry at her for what happened to Neven than JD Hiro because Ren had a duty to protect Neven and she actively chose not to.

Neven: Such a sweetheart. I love Neven. He’s just so fundamentally good. He didn’t deserve any of what he got at the end. I’m not saying he didn’t have flaws, because he did, but even what I see as his biggest flaw is also a mark of how insanely good he is. I think Neven’s biggest flaw is being too morally correct. I think he was only looking at the murder of Izanami from a “matricide is wrong” perspective and not accounting for all the nuances involved in this particular case. In this case, Izanami is a horrible being and a horrible mother that needs to be killed.

Hiro: JD. This man is JD from Heathers except a Japanese fisherman god. Also I have a little bit more sympathy for Hiro than I did for JD. I mean, he’s got the same charm that JD’s got and that same warped view of love. The difference is A) I fell for Hiro’s charms; and B) Hiro shows a range of emotions that make him seem more human than JD. I loved Hiro the moment we met him, which kind of tipped me off. For some reason, authors just can’t seem to be nice to my favorite characters; either they’re traitors or they die. In this case, both. I can definitely see how Hiro came to be the way he is. Being disowned by his mother and then wandering the Earth. He’s afraid of being alone and unwanted. That’s why he did what he did to Neven (and anyone else he perceived as hurting Ren or coming between him and Ren). He was trying to keep Ren with him. His whole story is honestly a tragedy and I fully blame Izanami for the way he turned out. I was most definitely on his side until he had Neven thrown to the deep darkness.

#book review #bookworm #kylie lee baker #the keeper of night #fiction

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starry4u1o1o · 6 months

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The Gym Apple Valley

The GYM Apple Valley CA Grand Opening

youtube

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The GYM Apple Valley CA Memberships

I've tried a lot of gyms. I'm not going to proclaim names, but let's just say the best one is not that place you go behind your friend that costs $10 a month and has weight machines in the basement of a storefront. The best gym is one where you environment friendly talking to the staff, who will respond all your questions and urge on you get going upon your fitness goals. Where you can't wait to go urge on because there are appropriately many good classes and appropriately much equipment and you're always learning supplementary things. The best gym is one where they have instagrammable chalk-art frescoes featuring inspirational slogans behind "Sweat the small stuff" painted upon the walls, and the locker room is stocked behind ample free toiletries to last a lifetime. The best gym is the one that you'll actually go to. It's as easy as that. Most people who say they want to get in shape, but not ample to actually set foot in a gym, will enter upon behind me behind I say it's worth the supplementary effort. Here are some ways to locate the best gym for you: -Find out which gyms are in your place and look them up online. Research what each of them offers and look up reviews upon Yelp or Google. -Ask around. Friends, family, and coworkers are often more than happy to allocation their favorite gym behind you. -Look at the hours of operation for each gym to look which ones fit your schedule best.

The GYM Apple Valley CA Personal Trainers

If you're looking for a personal trainer at the gym, you might be anxious that you won't locate one who seems right for you. But since you start second-guessing your decision, know that there's a quirk to ensure that your search is successful: ask around. If you have connections or relations members who have used a trainer before, look if they can suggest someone to you. You can plus ask the gym's staff. Personal trainers at the gym will ham it up behind all kinds of people, appropriately it's likely that their clients will be able to suggest them to their connections and relations as well. By finding out approximately trainers from those who have used them in the behind and asking around, you'll be able to get assistance from people who know what they're talking approximately and get the best practicable person for your needs. People who are supplementary to the gym, or who haven't been in a while, may not be up to date that personal trainers are within reach for hire. At our gym, we have trainers within reach for 1-on-1 sessions upon a regular basis, for $25 a session. In complement to helping people design workouts and stay irritated to exercise, they can urge on behind nutrition and weight loss. One of our trainers is plus an occupational therapist, appropriately he can allow advice upon how to use the machines in a quirk that won't cause insult or pain. In the gym, personal trainers can be obliging for supplementary and inexperienced gym-goers. They can urge on you behind your form, advise you upon how to use certain machines, notify things behind weight plates, and allow you general tips upon how to get the most out of your get older at the gym. However, they are not there to create you follow their own workout routines or say you exactly what to do. If you have an idea in mind of what you want to get behind you go to the gym, a personal trainer might not be right for you.aning solutions! https://testthisoutagain.blogspot.com/2023/10/the-gym-apple-valley.html https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nta6w9wluHA[{The GYM Grand Opening Apple Valley|The GYM Apple Valley CA Grand Opening|The GYM Apple Valley CA]} https://a2zhealthmassageschoolslosang273.blogspot.com/2023/10/sweetgrass-512-landscaping-tree-services_071445238.html https://www.tumblr.com/jose-guillermo/731373553734336512 https://charlesrizzo84.blogspot.com/2023/10/charles-rizzo84.html https://www.tumblr.com/rizzocharles74/731358093800243200 https://garagedoorsorangeca838.blogspot.com/

#Youtube

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sanrosa · 2 years

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04:40am

i think it's time i be honest and open about this. how i feel in relationships, or any romantic connections. what my love language is. and what i want.

i feel like... the concept of what i want in a relationship has gradually looked liked a far-fetched notion, yet it's so easy to obtain. i don't understand. why are the men i meet just not decent enough and soft and funny and loving and trustworthy and empathetic and patient and consistent and respectful and communicative and then have some emotional intelligence? like these things aren't difficult to be. at all.

but then, i guess... i need to learn myself. to learn to be these things i want kwa mna.

anyways, my love language is words of affirmations. i can't conceal it anymore. words of affirmation is high up there for me to feel love from you. do you know how much just a small meaningful compliment means to me? and do you also know how much a hurtful statement can linger in my mind forever and make me lose respect for you? man, words speak a lot to me. i am sensitive to the things i hear. (almost like i am clairaudient) so what i listen to or hear can alter my feelings for a while.

shit, i know this may make me seem sensitive or naive to what people could say to me. but i'm being very honest right now.

and that's all i want to be right now. honest. i want to be honest that i am tired of the shit i have put up with in the past. men who i have dated or done anything intimate with, they've either never complimented me or they've instead made it worse and criticized me. and even my parents who didn't understand the concept of feeding positivity to your children through words. "hey, are you feeling okay?" "I love you, okay? you don't have to worry" "you are the most beautiful and most precious thing ever. the world doesn't know what's coming for them, a smart, beautiful, talented little girl" "you are brave and powerful person. you need to understand that" "your soul is beautiful, your kindness means a lot to others." etc.

none of this stuff, or anything like it, have i heard during my childhood. none!

i just... was trying to hear these things enough to push me to feeling good and better about myself on days where i felt abnormal and wrong or guilty or weird in a sad way. but to be able to instead embrace the good in me. embrace my good qualities and not have to worry too much.

bc what can i embrace them from now if there's no base? where can my mind gather that i am actually amazing and smart and funny and beautiful person... if i've never heard of that shit ??! where? my subconscious knows nothing about that stuff. and at this point, it's too late, my brain is engraved in this mentality of being basic. or even worse: not worthy. of many things. [and then later down the line it turned into imposter syndrome]. because my god where was i supposed to gather that i should love myself more, love myself enough to be able to say no to stuff and set boundaries, or to push myself when it gets hard or to be okay with being different and going a different route as long as it makes me happy or to just show love to others as well because i know love within too?

i was never told these things.

yes, yes, i know you shouldn't need people to tell you who you are and how you should feel about yourself. spare me the confident talk that should make me feel bad about actually being more empathetic than logical. i can't help that i listen to my emotions more tf. is it so bad to be empathic, yet using my logic when it matters? should i just always listen to the mind and never mind the fact that i am human? i contain a soul as much as i contain a brain. they're both there with their functions. and you know what? i balance both. the world right now on the other hand... logic is just the one thing at the forefront of everything. nevermind being empathetic. nevermind caring about others. oh those are old times that dont exist anymore.

yuck. fuck that is just horrible. a horrible existence. all of us just caring about securing the bag, about getting at the highest point of the hierarchy, about obtaining all these things... that don't matter to our hearts. but just matter to our physical environment. no wonder we're dying of depression. we don't listen to each other's emotions. our emotions even. we barely take time to even do that.

man.

i just want... to feel again, on a beautiful note. i want to feel the beauty of life. i'm tired of looking at the sadness.

#strawberry mint series

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horsegirlcastiel · 3 years

Text

also imagine dean calling claire after cas dies just ‘hey kid, uh...let’s go get a burger. you mind?’ and claire being all sassy and dean driving for miles and miles and showing up and taking claire to a shitty diner and her seeing him so different and light from the burden of self hatred and then she grins, kicks his shin a little and says ‘so you finally get the courage to ask him then?’ and then dean just staring at her wide eyed and having to say ‘claire.’ and seeing those big blue eyes lose their luster and having to hold her and comfort her because she just lost her dad and then she asks between sobs ‘what happened’ and dean saying ‘he saved me’ and claire being angry and asking why he hasnt tried to save him yet and dean trying to tell her its because he wants the sacrifice to matter and claire yelling ‘bullshit’ in the middle of the diner and storming out and dean following after giving her a moment and she’s leaned against the wall, texting furiously but dean guesses it’s probably to kaia, and he decides, if anyone, she deserves to know, she could understand, maybe, and so dean keeps his distance but leans up against the wall too, and he says ‘he told me he loved me’ and him hearing claires sharp intake of breath and then asking ‘did you tell hi-’ and dean saying ‘no. got taken before i could.’ and claire having to not only mourn castiel, which it hasnt really even hit her, it seems surreal, but also look at this father figure before her and think of the one no longer here and see that love didn’t win? i just. i can’t imagine the tragedy she would feel. and then she’d say, but ‘we got kaia back. we can get him back too. dean, you deserve to tell him. to be happy. he deserves it to.’ so dean silently nods in agreement, and then goes to the diner door and opens it , bell chiming and all, and gestures for her to go first an then they just eat burgers and tell stories about the angel and they leave with a handshake pact that they’ll find a way to save him. and then claire gets the news, maybe two weeks later, that dean is fucking dead too.

#the way seeing this through claires eyes makes this eve worse i #claire novak #destiel #deancas #desitel ramblings #bad writing but yeah #spn 15x20 #spn 15x18 #king !!#angel !!

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dreamingofaizawa · 3 years

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Potent

Alpha! Hanta Sero x Fem! Omega! Reader

***18+ Fic***

If you are under the age of 18 please vacate the premises.

Warnings: A/B/O, smut, knotting, marking, breeding kink (sorta? idk it comes with the A/B/O territory), a hint of pregnancy kink, a bit of blood

Word Count: 3.6 k

Author's Note: Ohhhhkaayyy so this has been sitting in my google doc for AGES. I think I started this in...October of last year? It's been sitting there for months and I've lacked the motivation to finish and post it but then I sent in an anon ask to @reinawritesbnha and, being the absolute queen she is, she became the little push I needed to do it. I DID IT FOR REINA!!

Also, this is some of my earliest writing and I only skimmed and edited a little bit of it so if there's a little bit of weird pacing or a strange cutoff where the writing styles clash it's because I haven't touched this piece in months.

Anywho, enjoy~

It had to happen when you were surrounded by alphas.

Your suppressants flaked out, again, and your scent wafted through the air on the street. Normally It’d be fine for an omega to let their scent float freely around them. But your scent is particularly...potent, even when you weren’t in heat. Not only that, but you weren’t mated yet, your scent glands still bare, and you still didn’t have a pack. To make matters worse, you’re quirkless.

You hadn’t realised what was happening until your path was blocked by an especially large male alpha. You turned around, and there were two more behind you. Fuck. This isn’t good. You took in your surroundings and searched for an exit, but you couldn’t find a way out. There's no way you’d be able to outrun the three very large male alphas.

Probably the worst part is that more alphas are turning their head toward you, taking notice of your lavender honey and rain scent that slowly began turning to a sour swamp. You dared to hope that change would ward off the three cornering you, but they’d already got a whiff of you. Several distressed chirps sounded from your chest, voicing your discomfort, and you glared pointedly at the three alphas as they edged closer to you.

You hate when this happened. Why’d you have to be cursed like this? Your growls only grew, baring your little omega fangs. There’s no way in hell you’d let some stranger scent you, let alone one of these creeps. They wouldn’t take the damn hint and just crept closer to you, calling out to the ‘pretty little omega’ to ‘come have some fun’.

You’re scared now, the involuntary chirps in your chest coming more frequently. None of the other alphas or betas on the street were big enough to face the three, making you a sitting duck and a ragdoll if they wanted you to be. Your claws are small, nowhere near ideal for this situation, but you’d use them if you needed to. With a final low defiant growl you dropped your bag against the wall behind you and readied yourself for a fight.

Suddenly a large body dropped in front of you, his back to you. His scent alone hit you like a freight train, orange zest, mint, tree bark and something earthy. It had your head spinning, nearly sending you into an early heat. He growled, low and powerful, the sound rattling in your chest and making you sink further into the wall behind you. The other three alpha’s scents together were still overpowered by the new alpha before you, and they vanished faster than they appeared.

He turned around and stepped away from you, giving you space to breathe. He kneeled down enough so he was eye level with you, his hands reaching out clearly in an attempt to comfort you, but kept from touching you.

“Are you okay?” The question barely registered, still delirious from his scent, and you’re having a hard time recovering. Large hands grip your shoulders and shake you lightly, your mind beginning to clear with the soothing pheromones he’s releasing.

“Omega.” The command snapped you to attention, your gaze fixated on his own dark irises.

“Are you okay, omega?” You blink, swallow down the lump in your throat, take a deep breath.

“Yeah...I’m okay. Thank you, alpha.” But you’re not quite okay. You need to get home. Fast. The alpha seemed to catch on, probably by your scent that still hadn’t returned to normal. He stands and slips off his jacket, draping it over your shoulders and wrapping you in his scent. It’s a comforting gesture.

“Let’s get you home.” With a nod you set off, the man walking next to you with a strong, warm hand on the middle of your back.

“What’s your name?” You introduce yourself, and he does the same. His name is Sero Hanta, and now that you’re calm again, you take in just how handsome he is.

Raven hair is pulled back into a small bun, showing off his undercut and strong, sharp jawline. Onyx eyes shine with kindness and playful mischief, and a beaming grin reveals pearly white teeth. He’s incredibly toned, his muscles calmly rippling under the t-shirt that stretched over his chest. You vaguely noticed the strange shape of his elbows, but disregarded it as his quirk. The omega in you is howling, begging for this alpha, his scent invading your senses. But you suppress it quickly, reminding yourself you’d only just met this man.

As you reach your apartment you exchange phone numbers, and he tells you to keep the jacket and use it when you go out to ward off any unwanted attention. You thank him again for helping you earlier, and he waves to you as he walks down the hall and enters the elevator, the doors closing in front of his handsome smiling face.

Despite meeting him only ten minutes earlier your instincts trust the alpha, and you hold the jacket close to your face, breathing in his scent. It’s wonderful, and your inner omega is in love. You find yourself wondering when you’d see him again.

The next few days are riddled with work and calls to your doctor about the strength of your suppressants. You work from home as a secretary for a small company. It’s a miracle you’d found it, too. Nobody wants an omega, let alone a potent one. It’s an alpha’s world, you guess. When this job opening popped up you were ecstatic, so you took it and have been working from home with decent pay for the last five years.

The calls to your doctor were not going as smoothly as your job, though. You leave a message every four hours until she finally calls you back. She was concerned since the suppressants she’d prescribed are the strongest out there, and if your scent was overpowering them they were either defective or your scent glands were overproducing. It wasn’t an immediate threat to your health, it only meant you’d be drawing more attention than you wanted to. Still, it’s annoying and makes life so much harder than it needs to be.

After she prescribed twice the amount, she said she’d look over your tests from the latest visit before she hung up the phone. You groaned once the call ended. You seriously needed a break from your second gender. Taking the prescribed double dose of suppressants, you got ready to go out to the corner cafe to read and drink coffee. Hopefully the new amount will keep steady. You really don’t want to deal with any more aggressive alphas this week. For good measure you pull on Sero’s jacket, allowing his scent to cover you, then grab your keys, phone, wallet and a book and begin the walk.

When you arrive at the cafe you order a hot mocha, curl into the small corner booth and crack open the book. You got lost in the ink and your mind floated along the adventure, putting yourself in the shoes of the main character and leading the mission to take down the corrupt queen who’d framed you for killing the prince of a neighboring kingdom. You were ripped from the fantasy world when a bright, enthusiastic blonde came up and tapped you on the shoulder, making you jump. His smile was as bright as his hair.

“Sorry to scare you cutie, but I couldn’t help but notice that jacket of yours smells an awful lot like my friend Sero!” You smile softly at the blonde.

“Well if we’re talking about the same Sero Hanta, then your nose would be correct. This is his jacket.” His eyes widen as he nods.

“Oh my gosh you must be the omega he keeps talk-” The blonde’s words became muffled by a large hand. A hand that belonged to the very man you were talking about. Sero smiles apologetically down at you as he shoves the blonde back to where you assume they’re sitting.

“Sorry about Kami, he’s… extroverted.” You smile back at him, mostly because you’re happy to see him again.

“It’s no problem at all. He recognized your scent on me.” He looked down and only then realized you’re wearing his jacket, and he beams at you. Then he takes a glance at the booth you’re sitting all alone at, his smile falling just a bit.

“Do you wanna come sit with us?” You take a moment to think about the offer, then agree with a nod. Your omega couldn’t pass up more time with him.

As you approach the booth you notice there are more people with Sero than you anticipated. There were four other people sitting there. Sero introduced all of them from left to right. Bakugo Katsuki, Kirishima Eijiro, Ashido Mina, and the happy blonde from earlier is Kaminari Denki. You introduce yourself and when Sero slid into the booth, you followed after him.

These five are a tight pack, and you learn they all met in high school. Bakugo’s brash personality made you wary at first, but it didn’t take long to realize he’s just like that with everyone. He makes a bit of a snippy remark, which you easily counter, and he smirks while the rest smile or snicker. It would seem they like you.

You can’t tell what their second genders are, and you mentally kick yourself for even wondering in the first place. Their genders are none of your concern, but you can’t blame yourself when you’re constantly alert because of your own stupid second gender. As it turns out, you don’t need to wait very long to find out.

This time you smell your own scent as it permeates the air around you. You swear under your breath at the stupid suppressants that obviously can’t so their job, and the others snap their gazes to you. You sigh.

“Yeah, that scent is me. My suppressants flaked again. Sorry about that.” They all nodded, seemingly understanding. Sero must have told them about the other day. Of course, it would soon repeat. It didn’t take long for an alpha to take notice of your scent. The man -- why is it always the largest males??? -- strides up to the booth with a cocksure grin and leans down to inhale your scent. You duck away from him, into Sero, and let out an albeit small warning growl that was drowned in Sero and Kirishima’s. He ignored them all the same.

“Hey there little omega, you smell real nice. You wanna come hang with me instead? We can have some fun together with my buddies, what do you say?” The others stayed quiet. They’re going to let you defend yourself before they do anything in case they end up escalating the situation. You turn your head and lift your shoulder, hiding your scent gland.

“I’m not interested, thank you. Please leave me alone.” You hoped to whatever deity watched over you that the man would leave. Before anyone could react the alpha grabbed your wrist in a vice grip, yanking you roughly from your seat. You chirp, your scent turning sour and the entire pack abruptly stands, baring their fangs at the man. It barely registered in your head that Kirishima and Bakugo are alphas, Mina is a beta, and Kaminari is an omega, their fangs giving them away.

The man tightens his grip on your wrist and you cry out, your bones creaking under the pressure. With no other options you did the one thing that would get him to let go, and sank your fangs into his wrist. You jump back into Sero, who wraps an arm around you protectively.

“You bit me, you bitch!” He raises an arm, clearly about to try and hit you, but a large hand grabs his wrist. Surprisingly enough it’s Bakugo, and his growl is laced into his words.

“Leave now, or you lose a hand.” Sero speaks up from above you.

“You might wanna listen, amigo. That’s Dynamight.” The alpha rips his arm from Bakugo’s hold and looks down at you, and you growl at him as he scoffs and walks away, apparently not ready to fight the #2 pro hero over an omega.

You all sit back down and you pull up the sleeve of the jacket to inspect the already forming bruise on your wrist. Your nose wrinkles with a half-angry half-pained snarl. Tenderly, Sero takes your wrist and lightly squeezes the sides of your forearm, against your bones, and your lack of reaction tells him nothing’s broken. Still, he growls at the offending bruise.

“I’m gonna kill him.” You shake your head and put a hand over his.

“It’s not worth it Sero. He’s probably long gone.” You turn to the rest of the pack.

“Thank you for protecting me.” Kirishima is the first to speak.

“Of course! That dude was a jerk. I just hope he doesn’t go around doing that to other omegas.” Bakugo, surprisingly, spoke next.

“Obviously we’d protect you. You’re a potent omega and quirkless, so you attract unwanted attention without even knowing or wanting to. Besides, if you’re gonna be Sero’s omega there’s no way in hell we’d let some extra handle you like that.” The implications make your face burn, and Kirishima smacks the blonde’s arm with a ‘Don’t just say that kind of thing, Katsuki.’

After an hour or two of talking, and shockingly no other aggressive alphas, they all walk you home to your apartment. Sero wanted to check on your wrist again, so you invited them all in, but they all had something else to do, so you were left alone with Sero. The fact that the one alpha you desperately wanted to be around is alone with you in your apartment is both great and terrible. Thankfully, you have self-control and his own suppressants are working perfectly fine.

He inspected the darkening bruise on your wrist, his large hands gripping your arm tenderly and turning it gently as he prods at the skin. It doesn’t hurt too bad, so you assure him you’ll be perfectly fine. Eventually he leaves with a hug and you sigh once the door is closed, relieved that you were able to keep your omega at bay and your hands to yourself.

A couple days later you get a text from him and the two of you text often, asking how each other’s day went, if anything interesting had happened. You didn’t leave your apartment unless you needed to, since your suppressants clearly weren’t working, so you made sure to cut grocery trips short and keep away from any alphas that seemed a bit aggressive. Sero invited you to hang out with the pack at their house, and you obliged.

They lived in a huge house all together. Most of the rooms were sealed so no scents or sounds could go in or out for ruts and heats, and there were several spare rooms that were empty and waiting for more pack members. It was a fun hangout, filled with video games and good conversation, and even better food which Bakugo cooked. Sero had an arm around you whenever he was close, and you definitely didn’t mind. Your suppressants flaked in the middle, again, and Sero insisted he walk you home. With him walking you home there weren’t any alphas trying to get you this time. You ended up going over to hang out with them a lot when you weren’t working, and eventually Sero began to court you.

Obviously, you accepted, and after a few months of dating and scenting, your overactive scent glands seemed to mellow out, Sero’s scent mixing with it. Your suppressants are lasting much longer now, which is a good sign. Now that you’re Sero’s omega, he often helped you with your heats and you’d help him with his ruts, and he was strong-willed enough that he hadn’t marked or knotted you in the middle of things.

About a year and a half into the relationship you realize you really love him. Sure you had arguments, but everything was settled through calmed discussions over coffee or tea, and you came to understand each other well enough that arguments became few and far between.

You’re happy with Sero, so when your heat came around early and he was there to help, you were going to let him know just how much you loved him.

You texted him once you felt it starting. He was there within half an hour, and you pounced on him once the font door closed, smothering him in hot, wet kisses, eager to feel him inside you. He carries you to the bedroom, and you two are quick in shedding all of your clothes. He lays you on your back with a hand on your throat as he growls into your ear, making a hot shudder roll down your spine.

“Are you ready for me omega?” You whine and nod, your slick already dripping down your folds. You want him so bad it hurts.

“Please alpha, I need your cock.” He growls again, satisfied with your answer, and he presses into you, bottoming out with one firm thrust. You chant his name like a mantra as he set a bruising pace, rutting into you recklessly, wet skin slapping on skin the only other sound beside your whimpers and his growls. His teeth nip at your shoulder, sharp fangs testing your skin and claws digging into the fat of your hips. His cock is so deep, hot swollen tip kissing your cervix with every full-bodied thrust and sending you into a euphoric haze. Your own claws are sinking into his back, leaving little trails of red and blood beading down the lines. It drives him wild every time.

“That’s right, little omega. Mark me up, I’m all yours. Fuck you’re so pretty underneath me like this.” His hands grip behind your knees and press them into your chest, folding you nearly in half as he plows into you further. The angle knocks the breath from your lungs and your eyes roll back. You can feel his knot beginning to swell, feel how his thrusts are getting more controlled and his grip on your thighs tighten from the sheer concentration it’s taking for him not to breed you. You have other plans. Between wheezed breaths you squeak out.

“H-hantaaa~” He slows to a near snail’s pace, grinding his slowly growing cock into your sweet spot, a smirk stretching across his face as you splutter from the sudden change. He’s enjoying making you squirm.

“What is it, sweetness? Tell your alpha what you need.” You pant, chest heaving as much as the position will allow.

“Want your mark, want your knot~ Wanna be bred Hanta! I want your pups!” He stills completely, claws digging into the fat of your thighs with enough force to have drops of blood falling to the sheets beneath you. You’d never said anything like that in the heat of the moment. He can’t have heard you correctly...right?

“Princesa, do you know what you just said?” The seriousness in his tone has you sobering, but even before you knew exactly what you were saying. You nod frantically, wiggling your hips to get him to move again.

“Yes! I know alpha! Please, give me your knot~” His growl makes your bones shake, and with no warning he drops your legs around his waist and leans down so his face is buried in your neck.

“Fuck, I’m gonna trust you with this baby girl. I’ll give you exactly what you want.” His fangs sink into your scent gland just as he picks up his brutal pace, and the euphoria makes you cum hard, your whole body locking up and mouth falling open in a silent scream. He plows into you as you regain your breath, and you bite down on his own scent gland as hard as you can, tearing into his skin with every intention of leaving a pretty scar for the world to see.

His knot swells more, and he’s pushing it into you with every ounce of power he can generate with that gorgeous body of his. With one final snap of his hips he locks his body to yours and cums hard, ropes of hot seed filling you to the brim. He collapses on top of you and laps at the wound on your neck and you do the same. After a few minutes he leans back and cups your face in his hand, gazing down at you like you hung the moon and the stars.

“Are you alright?” You nod, nuzzling into his palm.

“I’m sorry. I was gonna talk to you about it, but my heat came early.” He kisses your forehead gently, brushing the strands of hair from your face.

“It’s okay, pretty thing. I trust you know what you’re getting yourself into.” You giggle and wrap your arms around him.

“Of course I do. I love you, Hanta.”

“I love you too.” You lay there, tangled in each other’s arms until his knot goes down. You whine at the loss when his cock slips out of you, clawing at him to come back because you’re still in heat. His hand gently wraps around your neck, a low chuckle on his lips.

“Relax, we’re far from done.” His already hard erection rubs up and down your glistening folds, barely stimulating your clit, teasing you until tears prick your eyes and you’re beggin him to fuck you again.

“When I’m done you won’t be able to walk for days. I’m gonna breed you so well, You’re gonna look so pretty all big and round with my pups.” He groans at the image he’d conjured in his head and you squeal as he slams his hips into you.

You’re in for a wonderfully long night.

#sero hanta #sero hanta mha #sero hanta bnha #sero hanta x reader #sero hanta x fem reader #sero hanta smut #hanta sero #hanta sero mha #hanta sero bnha #hanta sero x reader #hanta sero x fem reader #hanta sero smut #omegaverse #tw: a/b/o

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mysticatto · 2 years

Text

4 Evenings || 1. Spring

Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Setting: Avengers AU set after CA-CW, but not following the Infinity Saga’s storyline (So, no Thanos)

Pairing: Eventual Avenger!Bucky x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Word Count: ca. 2000

Summary: Four evenings describing the stages your and Bucky’s relationship went through.

Chapter Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI! metions of Bucky's past/torture, angst, Tony being a dick, insecure Bucky, a wee bit of fluff

A/N: Here it is! I'm soooooo damn giddy to finally get this story out of my WIPs and system!

Dividers by the amazingly talented @firefly-graphics

Do not copy, translate or steal my fics! (or any fics, for that matter)

Everyone seemed restless on that otherwise calm Saturday morning in the middle of April. Well, everyone except Natasha of course. You couldn’t assess if the former Russian spy was just masking her nervousness or if she indeed didn’t really care that the infamous Winter Soldier was about to step foot into your very own home after being rid of his triggers successfully in Wakanda only days prior.

Sam was sitting on the kitchen island, sipping on his third coffee for the morning, while trying to have a conversation with Clint. Despite the fact they couldn’t really keep it going without changing the topic to the new arrival of the day.

Tony hadn’t been seen in five days, actually since Steve announced Bucky would be joining everyone else in the compound in less than a week. The billionaire still hadn’t been able to come to terms with the fact that Bucky was the one who killed his parents. Who wouldn’t be resentful? You were shocked, too, at the revelation.

Although you now understood he didn’t do it of his own free will; that he didn’t do anything he did under Hydra because he wanted to.

Wanda and Vision weren’t as concerned as the rest of the team; they had yet to meet Bucky. The little stunt at the airport in Germany didn’t help them form an opinion on the soldier. Even though they had heard enough stories, both good and bad, they were still unbiased.

And then there were you. From the moment Steve found out his old best friend was, against all odds, still alive, the blond man didn’t stop talking about him. About growing up together, how Bucky always had his six when the then scrawny Steve Rogers had gotten his ass handed to him by guys twice his size, and about the war.

Although you were excited to finally meet Sergeant James Barnes you couldn’t shake the feeling of not meeting the optimistic young man Cap had told you about. 70 something years of torture and brainwashing surely had changed him.

Aside from that you worried about Steve. He only saw Bucky as the lady’s man he was in the forties, the stubborn smartass he was back then. You feared he might be disappointed to potentially find that Bucky really died falling off the train in World War II.

Your worrying was abruptly stopped by the door to the common area opening with a swoosh, and a happy Captain America entering. Natasha, Clint, Sam and you immediately halted your movements, turning all your attention to the entrance and the two men standing in the threshold. Bucky didn’t seem nearly as stoked to be here as Steve was, given that the brunette was trying to appear as small as possible, not meeting anyone’s eye.

“Buck, these are Nat, Clint, Sam and Y/N. Everybody, this is Bucky. The rest is scattered around the compound, I guess?” The last sentence turned out as a question as Steve fixated his eyes on you.

“Yeah, Tony’s in his lab with Bruce, Vis and Wan are on a walk, I think.”, you shrugged, smiling at the two men still standing at the entrance.

“Why the introductions? I guess we all know each other at least since the airport in Germany.”, Natasha jumped in, smugly grinning. You slapped her upper arm, earning an amused scoff from the red head.

Reminded of the tense fight and everything that happened afterwards in Siberia, Bucky became rigid next to Steve, his gaze shifting to his shoes.

Not even Steve seemed to notice, but you surely did. “Steve, why don’t you show him his quarters? Let him settle in, before going on an introduction spree?”

Steve nodded, smiling and even Bucky's lips pulled up for a split second.

The two men vanished into the hallways and everyone resumed their occupations from before.

Later that day, shortly after dinner, you were making your way back to your room when you overheard Tony screaming. Well, it sure would have been hard not to hear.

“Cap, I don’t want him here! The entire team doesn’t want him here! Can’t you see that? They just tolerate your decision to bring him in.”, Tony said, way louder than necessary for Steve to hear.

“Tony, don’t be like that. I know you’re hurt, but it wasn’t him that killed them. It was Hydra.” Steve tried hard to stay calm and collected, but Tony being Tony didn’t make it easy for the star-spangled man.

“I don’t care, Cap!”

A noise behind you diverted your attention away from the arguing pair only to find Bucky standing behind you, clearly being able to pick up everything Steve and Tony said. Your face fell, when you saw his expression. A mix of sadness, hurt, regret, guilt and anger, all morphed into one. When his gaze met yours, the stoic expression resurfaced only for Tony to end his rant with If it wasn’t for you, I’d kill him!

You flinched at his harsh words. Bucky’s eyes widened and he took off, running in a random direction.

You took one look back to where you supposed Steve and Tony stood before sprinting after the brunette.

“Wait!”, you shouted to no avail, picking up your pace to keep up with the super soldier.

Bucky had no idea where he was going. He didn’t know the way back to his room, or any room for that matter, so he just ran. Your voice rang through his ears every time you told him to stop. But he couldn’t. He didn’t want to hear it. It wasn’t enough that he had to live through everything he did every night in his dreams, no.

Now he had to be confronted during the day in his new ‘home’.

Bucky didn’t feel at home. He thought maybe Steve’s presence could help him regain some memories from before he was captured, but if that meant he had to deal with hostility from everyone he met, he would gladly just forget everything.

The brunette only now noticed he had left the building as he was nearing the small forest east of the site, you still hot on his heels. He knew he could easily outrun you, but something stopped him from going any faster. Close to the edge of the forest he began stumbling and ultimately fell to his knees, his hands clutching to the foliage beneath him in an effort to ground himself.

Out of breath and panting miserably you came to a stop beside him, propping your hands up on your slightly angled knees to catch your breath. “Holy hell. Did you drink jet fuel or somethin’?”, you quipped before noticing his even more distraught state. You let yourself fall to your knees next to him, refraining from touching him, but angling your head in a way you could see his face.

His eyes were frantically shifting from side to side, without focus; his hands clenched into fists and his whole body tensed up.

Everyone had always told you, you had an incredibly calming presence, so now was the perfect time to test their theory. You lay down flat on your back, one hand behind your head, one hand between his fists in his field of view.

“Don’t let Tony get to you. He’s pissed, who wouldn’t be, but he will eventually come to terms with it and realize it wasn’t you, James. It was Hydra.”, you tried, looking up to the slowly changing sky. Hues of pink faded into baby blues with purple mixed in between.

Bucky’s breath still came out in shaky little huffs.

“Why are you doing this?”, he whispered incredulously, noticing that you didn’t seem to leave his side anytime soon. His eyes were still fixated on the ground, but he slowly relaxed the grasp he had on the leaves below him.

He let his butt sink onto his heels, kneeling next to your lying form, contemplating to take off again.

“Steve wants you here, you know. He was so happy when Shuri told him she extracted the triggers and you could come home to him. I don’t really know you, only through all the stories, but I want you here, too. You deserve a normal life after all the shit you went through.”

You tried really hard to negate Tony’s words, but you also knew that most of the team was indeed wary of him living here. Steve had fought like a bear to convince everyone.

Upon your words Bucky screwed his eyes shut. He didn’t know why, but he wanted to believe you; to trust you. You turned your head to face the brunette, when an idea popped into your head.

You sat up, your gaze never leaving Bucky. “James, I’m gonna touch your hand now, okay?”, you whispered in a calm tone. He nodded merely perceptible. You gently clasped his right hand with your left.

His eyes immediately found your joined hands, before looking you directly in the eyes, disbelief written on his features. It was unfathomable for him to be touched under any other circumstances than punishment, torture or medical examinations.

Your smile was soft, when you pulled him up to stand next to you, his knees unsteady and wobbly.

“Come on.”, you coaxed gently, pulling him with you, deeper into the forest before you. “I’m gonna show you my personal, super secret hiding place. No one knows it’s there.”

Your fingers were intertwined by now as you pulled the super soldier through the thicket until you reached a small clearing.

“This doesn’t look like a good hiding place.”, Bucky murmured, biting his tongue instantly after the words escaped his mouth. But you just… laughed. You genuinely laughed, with your hand still holding his tightly. “Yeah, no. That’s not the spot, dummy.”, you snorted, pulling him with you again until the two of you were standing in front of thick tendrils.

You extended your right hand, pushing it through the blanket of tendrils, dragging Bucky with you.

Behind them was a cozy little cave equipped with some throw blankets you had left there after your last visit. You pulled your cell phone out of your pant’s pocket to illuminate the place, to keep the two of you from tripping over your feet. Dragging Bucky even further into the cave you pushed him down onto a small elevation in the stones and pulled one of the blankets around his shoulders.

You sat down next to him, the flashlight lighting up his face as you looked at him.

“I don’t come here often anymore, but you’re welcome to. Whenever you need a timeout just go hide in here. But if you tell anyone about our little secret I’ll unfortunately have to rip out your vocal chords.”, you said, feigning seriousness; his expression was short of fearful before you started giggling, bumping your shoulder into his left arm. “Just kidding.”

He heaved a sigh before he began relaxing next to you.

“Thank you.”, he whispered, shifting his gaze to meet the ground. You just nodded, smiling contently to yourself.

“I think Steve has high expectations now that I’m here.” His voice was low, but you could make out the tremble nonetheless. Your eyes found his face again, concern swarming his features. A barely audible sigh escaped your lips.

“I’m sure he has. But he will have to match your pace in healing. There’s no use for him to push you beyond your boundaries, and I really hope he knows that.”

A sad smile tugged at his lips as his eyes found yours.

“You can do it, y’know. Settle in, get along with the others, who by the way care way less that you live here now than Tony let on. And I’ll keep an overenthusiastic Steve in check. Deal?”

A low chuckle escaped Bucky at your words. He stretched out his right hand and smiled at you. “Deal.”, he said softly. You took his hand and shook it gently, before letting go.

“And for now, relax a little. You must be exhausted after such a long flight with a babbling Steve as company.”, you giggled, leaning back against the wall of the cave, closing your eyes.

“Yeah.”, Bucky smiled.

Next Part

A/N: That's it! The first part of the mini series is officially out and about. What did yall think? Constructive criticism is highly welcomed and encouraged! Please like and reblog if you liked it. ♥

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #avengers fanfiction #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x y/n #marvel fanfiction #bucky barnes reader insert #bucky x y/n #bucky fanfic #james barnes #4 Evenings #4E

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castiel-left-his-mark-on-me · 3 years

Note

Hi, Ary, very inactive ex-mutual(i think???) here. Good to see you thriving! ♥ It's been a while since I've dipped my head into cockles stuff. Could I perchance maybe ask uuuuum tf is going on??? lol I see Mish apparently confirmed he used to stay over at Jensen's in Van, and heard newbs were apparently freaking out about it and getting a bit messy, which I get that, business as usual. But I'm also seeing shit about spin-offs? And Jared getting in a twitter fight with Jensen, causing/resulting in stans to going feral and sending hate?? I know you're not as big a fan of Jar, but that's part of why I figured I'd ask you, you usually have a really level head about this kinda stuff. If you don't wanna answer publically, or at all, that's totally chill!

Hey, Rhi! We're still mutuals! Of course we're still mutuals! When I saw the notification of your ask, I was like "Hey! I haven't seen you in a while!" and my husband was like "???" and I said "Tumblr" and he said "Oh."

It was a wild time haha.

In any case, welcome back to the dumpster fire! We are obviously still a mess. So to catch you up, I guess I will start by summarizing both before and after the finale (not sure where you left off so this might be redundant for you) ... basically, it became obvious as the end of the show neared that Jensen was not on board with the plan for the finale; although Jared never stopped singing its praises.

We got confirmation of this during a zoom interview where Jensen said that he actually went into the writers room as well as called Kripke to basically voice how he didn't agree with the direction the final season was going, but he was shot down on all fronts. In another interview, he was asked "What would you tell your younger self going into this career?" And Jensen responded with: "I would tell myself to just keep your head down and do the work" meaning, "Don't try to change things because you can't." I also think that this whole situation is what he wrote "Let Me Be" about for his first Radio Company album, but that is just my own speculation. All of his reluctance, even though he always followed it up with "But I eventually saw the value in the script" or "I came around in the end" (which never sounded sincere, and I don't think he was really trying to sound sincere) made us all very nervous about what was to come for 15x20; and of course, when the last two episodes aired, we saw just how badly they fucked it up.

After the awful finale, the entire fandom became aware of the CW's heavy handed role in the thing, basically squeezing all the life out of SPN to shape it into a ramp from which Walker could launch itself. They not only erased all the love and joy and representation that Cas's love confession gave us, they also tore apart the things that made sense about the bond between Sam and Dean, making it really just about Sam-- and therefore Jared, which of course, Jared seemed to be fine with ... even though no one else was. Misha barely said anything during the finale, and a few of the other actors talked about the show ending in various posts, but Jared tweeted up a storm ... and Jensen? Jensen just sat in sexy-silent resentment of the whole thing. He didn't tweet, he didn't post, he didn't say a word once he no longer had to, and I think that's because he was already going full-steam-ahead on his plans for redemption.

Which brings us to Chaos Machine-- Jensen and Danneel's new production company that is being run by a queer creative director and has a mantra of inclusivity and representation woven throughout it's fabric; and apparently, the first story that Jensen wanted to tell through this new platform is the origin story of Sam and Dean's parents; so last week (?) he announced the upcoming production of "The Winchesters" -- the untold love story of John and Mary. Obviously, John is not the most likable character from the show, so the idea was met with a lot of resentment when it was first announced, but Jensen has gone on to say that he is excited to take on the task of telling the "true" story behind these characters-- the one that makes sense with the pre-established canon and doesn't reject it. So, given that, the idea is being mulled over with a bit more optimism from the fandom.

Who isn't being optimistic though?

Jared Padalecki.

When Jensen made this announcement on Twitter, many of his friends and coworkers congratulated him, but not Jared. Jared responded with a passive aggressive: "I'm happy for you, man, but I wish I didn't hear about it through Twitter." This of course, sent all the die-hard Jared fans into a tizzy and they immediately began asking him if he was serious (hoping it was just a joke-- we all hoped it was because there would be fallout no matter what one's opinion on Jared is). Instead of leaving it there though or just deleting that tweet, Jared went on to tweet some more, saying that he was being serious that he didn't know about the plans for the prequel, and that he was "gutted" that Sam apparenlty wouldn't be included (mind you, this a prequel to SPN... meaning BEFORE Sam and Dean were even born, so how could Sam be included? But Dean is apparently narrating this story so maybe Jared thought Sam should be helping to narrate it? I don't know). But Jared being Jared couldn't just leave that there, he then went on to tweet at Robbie Thompson who was announced as a writer for "The Winchesters" so then Jared went off on him too, calling him "Brutus" and a "coward" acting like Robbie betrayed him (speculation is-- Robbie refused to write for Walker, so Jared is pissed that he essentially chose Jensen over him). He did fairly quickly, remove that tweet attacking Robbie, but of course the damage was done at that point. And it truly only took his first tweet calling out Jensen for some people to be like "Jared-- that sucks if you didn't know but why are you saying any of this publicly?"

As you might know, Jared has had issues in the past with posting hurtful things on social media, and has even used it as a tool for attack before-- calling out customer service agents and public workers that he felt have wronged him, which is bad enough ... but for him to then do the same thing to his best friend of well over a decade? Many people who had once liked him or at least gave him the benefit of the doubt (I used to ...) stopped after this latest twitter tantrum.

However, some people have suspected for some time that J2 had a falling out either shortly before the finale or just after. Their public/social media interactions have seemed awkward, stilted or even non-existent in moments that they normally wouldn't be. In the past year, when Walker premiered, Jensen didn't say much about his friend's new venture other than a "Congrats. buddy" here and there. Later, we learned that Jensen refused to work on the show ... Jared said he make him do it, drag Jensen to the set "kicking and screaming" which made many fans quirk up an eyebrow because, why would Jensen put up a fight unless the two weren't as close as they used to be? And then Jensen moved his family to Colorado (either permanently or for an extended period at least) which is notable considering how he moved to Texas seemingly to be closer to Jared, even buying a house that was near his. All this was just speculation though; but it wasn't until Jared's tweet complaining about not knowing about the prequel that the theories behind them falling out, became less theory and more fact.

The day after his twitter tantrum, Jared tweeted again-- not retracting his statements or apologizing, but instead saying that he and Jensen "talked" and were "all good". Jensen then tweeted too, parroting this statement to some degree, which only made the whole thing even more sour in the mouths of the fans. The fact that Jared didn't apologize for his outburst and throwing his friend under the bus, and also the fact that Jensen-- Mr. Sexy Silence, Mr. Never Tweets, Mr. Tech-Ignorant-and-Proud, actually had to POST SOMETHING saying that he and Jared made up, it just screamed OPTICS. It was obviously the work of agents and PR firms and lots of people going "Look, if you two keep beefing, that will mean the death of both of your projects. Even more people will stop watching Walker, and this SPN prequel will never get picked up due to the scandal." So, the two "made nice" publicly to quell the chaos, but in my opinion, it's all too little too late. Jared started a storm that he can't contain now with a little tweet, and it seems like he knows that too because before he talked about him and Jensen making up, he asked that people "not send threats". He could have just as easily said that he shouldn't have made this a public issue and that he's sorry, but instead, he continued to play the victim and stoke the flames by alerting us all to the damage he's done.

Now, like I said before-- I used to give him the benefit of the doubt. I don't think he's an awful human or that he deserves to be attacked or anything, but he is an adult man with very poor judgment and an obvious selfish-streak a mile wide. He should know better, and he should have more respect for his so-called "friends" and "brothers" than to make them targets to public ridicule. I have a hard time believing that Jensen still sees Jared the way he used to, and I wouldn't blame him a bit for wanting to pull away-- especially when he's moving on to so many new and exciting things. Jared certainly deserves happiness just as much as anyone else, but he went on twitter and basically asked for a scandal, and he got one.

The question is now-- was there a motive behind it? Was just looking for a reason to bring his and Jensen's falling out to light-- while making himself looking like the victim in the process? Or did he genuinely not know about the prequel and just decided to go about "not knowing" in the most toxic and hurtful way he could manage?

In any case, that is the drama ... that is the J2 insanity in a rather lengthy nutshell ... that is the tea ... and I hope it all makes sense.

But the good news out of all of this is, Cockles is thriving-- they are happy and in love and Jensen calls Misha "Babe" and Misha misses waking up to see Jensen in the morning, and they are just as cute and wonderful as can be.

So, I will end that there. I am so glad to see you back, and I hope I answered all your questions in a way that made sense ... I tried anyway!

💖💖💖

#omg #I don't even know if this makes sense #this took way too long to write #j2 #cockles #long post #spn family #so glad you see you back again my dear #welcome to hell #it's hotter now

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glassartpeasants · 2 years

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O̷̡̢̢͈̙̻̜̹͐̆̆̃͗̋̉͐̃̐̍̌͝u̸͕̤͚̥͎͎͙͋̐̾͘ŕ̶͍̊̋̆̈̅͊̎̓̈́͝ ̷̤͖͎͓̜͉̲̉̐̓͑̕L̶̡̫̬̗͔̹̭̳̏̄̔̇̆͌͂̒̈́̚ͅi̸̼͓͒̉̿͒̊̃̌̈̽̓̓̚͠t̸̖̠̞̳̘̣͇͈̰̭̹̪̱̊e̶̟͎̹͚̤͉̫̣̟̓̽̊̍̎̑̂̽͌̉̊̐͜ŗ̴͍̳̬̩̪̗̩̙̳̣̮̓̉̇̈́́̀̉͗̈́̿͗̌̈́a̴͈̘͓̮̟͖͇̖̙͙̤͌̂͐̓̎ͅt̵̗̯̗͚̳̗̲̩̥̺̬͈̭̣̓̾́̿͒̏͋͛͐̂͗̆u̸̼͉͓̪̒͒̊͊̂͊͛̋̎͝r̸̞̭̝̮̗̪̳̞̩̍̈́́̾͠ę̶̲̜͉̲͍̲̥̞̰̳̄ ̷̢̙̥͎̟̲̝͇̯̮̖̞̫̼͍̈́̂͋̿͋͊́̀̊̄̚͠͝͠Ç̶̣̗̰̬̰̍̒̎̌͋̅̕ļ̴͎̱̿͆͆͛̒̽͌̇̆̇̚u̴̧̪̞̪̝͕̯̬̳͎͆̆ͅb̵̨̧̨͙͙̤͚̜̝̟͖̰̀̾̈́̓̌̋̒͛͘͜͝ͅ

SPOILERS FOR DOKI DOKI LITERATURE CLUB

Kai Chisaki-Monika

Tomura Shigaraki-Natsuki

°¤◇》-○☆▪︎《♡•

Hari Kurono-Yuri

Reader-MC

Warnings: self harm, mentions of masterbation

A/N: Jesus it's been what, almost a year and a half since I've uploaded one of these? I guess I didn't really continue to cause not many people seemed to like it so I wanted to work on other things but I just got the motivation to do it again.

~~~

Chapter 14: The Other Side of Hari

~~~

You spent all morning making your poem as you forgot to last night. You were just so tired that you didn't have the energy to do anything. So you quickly just bumbled up a poem that would make you sound like at least someone who knows what they're doing. With that being said, you quickly grabbed your poem and ran to the school like your life depended on it.

~~~

When the school day ended you walked towards the clubroom. Happy to see everyone once again. As soon as you walked in the door Hari was the first one to greet you.

"Hi, (Y/N)! I've been waiting for you. Are you ready to continue reading from yesterday? I even brought my best tea today-"

"Kai! I told you not to! Ugh, is he really late AGAIN?"

"Inconsiderate as usual, Tomura."

"Excuse me?"

"Must you always interrupt my conversations with your incessant yelling?"

"What are you talking about?! You say that like I do it on a regular basis or something. I just wasn't paying attention, okay? I'm sorry. Seriously...what's gotten into you lately?" Tomura's face dropped a little and you couldn't help but feel a little bad as he was only stating that Kai was late once more.

"Me? N-Nothing..."

"..."

"Is it really that bad...?"

"See it is something."

"I'll get over it! It's not even anything noteworthy...I've just been feeling on edge lately...A-Anyway, we don't need to talk about it!" You shot Tomura a confused glance and he sent one back just as quickly. Both confused and wondering what could be going on with Hari.

"Well, I just felt like I needed to bring it up. It's not like I care or anything..."

"Aw, man...I'm the last one here again!"

"Well, (Y/N) just walked in too." Way to throw you under the bus.

"Were you practicing piano again?"

"Yeah...ahaha."

"You must have a lot of determination. Starting this club, and still trying to make time for piano..."

"Well, maybe not determination...but I guess passion! It motivates me to work hard for the festival and...um..."

"..."

"Right...I-I forgot."

"Um, about that Tomura...We were all talking yesterday, and we decided that we would like to support the festival as well. However, I understand how you feel about not wanting the club to change. I think we all kinda feel that way. So as long as we're all working together, this club will never become something we don't want."

"..."

"Um, also...If you help us out with the festival, then I will personally buy you new manga!"

"...Ahahaha! Sorry that last part was really funny. Look, I did some thinking about yesterday. I was a little more hostile than I meant to be...I guess I just felt threatened or something. But this is something we're doing together. Another new member wouldn't hurt, as long as they're cool...And I guess another boy would be nice this time. But more importantly, I would hate to see the event just suck because I chose to back out! I'm a pro you know! So I'm going to help too, and we'll make sure it's done right."

"Thank goodness...Isn't that great Kai?"

"Kai?"

"Ah-Yeah, that's wonderful! It wouldn't be the same without you, Tomura." When Kai turned to face you all, you noticed that he seemed a bit nervous. You just brushed it off thinking he was nervous about the festival.

"Anyway, (Y/N)...What do you want to do today? I was thinking we could-"

"We already have plans today."

"Ah. Is that so, Hari?"

"That's correct. (Y/N) is already engaged in a novel that we're reading together. Aren't you glad I've already gotten them into literature, Kai?"

"I...I suppose...I was just-Actually it doesn't matter. It really doesn't. You guys can do whatever you want."

"Y̵̫͈̎̈̾E̵͈̱̋̅S̴̪̼̅͋̒̈!"

"Um...Thank you for understanding, Kai." While you were happy to read with Hari, it seemed Kai was so sad that you couldn't hang out with him instead. Now that you think of it, you have been spending more time with everyone except him. You promised yourself that you would make it up to him one of these days. But for now, all you could do was sit next to Hari and read together.

"Actually, I have a request. Do you mind if I make some tea first?"

"Not at all."

"Thank you very much. If there's one thing that can make my reading time here any better, it's a nice cup of tea. Not to mention yourself as well." Hari wasted no time in getting up to make his way to the closet. You follow him and watch him retrieve a relatively small water pitcher from the back shelf with a filter already inside it.

"Can you hold this for a second?"

"Sure..." He hands you the water pitcher and also gathers the electric kettle.

"I'm going to plug this in at the teacher's desk, and then I'll go get some water." He scurries past you and sets down the kettle on the teacher's desk. You watch his movements and noticed that the way he moves completely contrasts his speaking mannerisms.

"Okay hand me the water pitcher. Thank you, I'll be right back."

"Ah, I might as well walk with you..."

"T-That's okay! You stay here! It won't take too long!" Hari almost runs out of the classroom with the pitcher in his hand.

"Ah...Did Hari leave you again?" You heard Kai talk to you, causing you to move your head in his direction.

"No, it's not like that this time. He just left to grab some water so he could make tea."

"Oh, okay! Sorry for the misunderstanding-"

"It's cool, it's sweet that you seem worried haha." Despite his mask, you could see the wide smile that spread across Kai's face.

~~~

Ten minutes have passed. Hari said that it wouldn't take long. Is something holding him up? The water fountain broke so he had to go farther to get one? You got bored waiting for him so you got up out of your chair to go look for him.

"Let's see..." The most logical place to find him would be at the water fountain. You make your move down the hallway when you hear something ahead of you.

"Ahaha...hahaha. Haah...haah..." What the hell was that noise? It seems to be coming from around the corner...It sounds like...breathing?

"Khhh-" You could hear a sharp inhale as if someone sucked the air through their teeth. They sounded like they could be in pain. You turn the corner and peer around it.

"Hari?"

"AH-" One quick look at him and you realized what was taking him so long. There were dozens of freshly made cuts underneath his sleeves, still bleeding as some dripped onto the tiled floor. There were even scars from where old ones resigned.

All of a sudden ringing blasted through your head. The world around you seemed to like it was spinning at 360 miles an hour. You held your hands over your ears as you struggled to stay a foot. You felt like vomiting before your conversation with Hari replayed in your mind but just with screaming tones. You closed your eyes for a split second just to avoid the dizziness around you but as soon as you opened them again, you were in the classroom with Hari in front of you.

"I'm back. Thanks for waiting patiently. (Y/N), do you like oolong tea?"

"Ah...um...sure..." Your mind was still spinning. there was no way you imagined such a thing as gruesome as that. Not to mention it felt like your head was still spinning to the point where you wanted to pass out and die.

"Very well." Hari is quick to set the temperature to 200 degrees.

"Now it's time to get the teapot."

"You really love to do this properly don't you?" You say trying to sound like you weren't feeling like you were losing your mind.

"Of course. I shouldn't do any less when I'm making tea for others."

"Even if I'm not an expert and won't know the difference?"

"Uh-huh. In that case, you'll be even more impressed."

"Ah, perhaps I will!" Hari fetches the teapot and starts to measure the tea leaves. He even starts to hum a little tune to himself to your surprise.

"You must be in a better mood now."

"Is that so? I was letting it show and you noticed? I was doing a bit of thinking and decided that I would try expressing myself more than I used to. turns out it's not hard for me to do. When it's you who's around, anyway."

"Ah... that's great Hari Just don't push yourself too much."

"You're always worrying about me (Y/N)...it's very endearing."

"That's..." Hari wasn't kidding. You didn't know if you could keep up with this! You thought to yourself as you watch Hari pour a cup of tea.

"(Y/N), I have another request if you don't mind. Could we sit on the floor today?"

"Uh sure. Why if you don't mind me asking?"

"It just sounds a little more relaxing. It might even be nicer than the hard chairs."

"Yeah, that sounds good!" Hari proceeds to sit down with the tea as you retrieve the book before sitting down next to him.

"Oh hey I have some chocolates as well!" You grab the bag of small chocolate candies. You decide to take them to share with Hari cause you tend to forget that you have food in your bag.

You both sit down with your backs against the wall. Each of you holding one half of the book. Except for this time both of your bodies were closer than before.

"I can't see too well." Hari slides closer to your body until your shoulders are touching. How were you supposed to focus when you could feel his body heat next to yours? Hari always had this mysterious charm to him that you couldn't seem to get rid of.

"Your teacup." He hands you your teacup. You look over and your holding in your hand that's not holding the book. You ended up in a position that made it even harder to focus. Because now you had to make sure you didn't spill it on yourself or the book, hell you didn't want to spill it on Hari either. You look at him and notice that all he's doing is reading the page with intent. You use all your willpower to focus on reading. After a few minutes, you finally managed to relax a little. You put your teacup between your legs and grab chocolate. You fumbled with the wrapper while trying to get it uncovered. You accidentally bumped Hari's chest in the process.

"Oh my bad, I'm sorry." You briefly let go of the book just to finish unwrapping the chocolate.

"You can have as much tea as you like."

"Oh I wasn't getting any, I was just unwrapping some chocolate. Do you want one?

"That's okay."

"Eh, are you sure?"

"If I touch it, then it might get smudges on the pages..."

"Oh, your right. Can't believe I didn't even think about that. My bad again."

"No need to apologize. I'll hold the book okay?"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course." Hari opens the book with both hands and stares at it calmly. Almost as if he forgot that you were there. He seems to be holding it so that you don't have a harder time reading from it. But as a result, his left arm is practically resting on top of your leg.

"Well if that's the case." Hari is still totally focused on reading the book. You take chocolate and pop it into your mouth. You then take another chocolate and hold it up to Hari's mouth. He doesn't even look away from the book before parting his lips as if the situation was completely natural. You smile and gently place the chocolate in his mouth. Just like that he closes his lips over it and proceeds to read.

"Eh?" Hari's expression suddenly breaks.

"Did you...did I just?" Hari looks at you like he needs to confirm what just happened. Hari eats the chocolate quickly before his face turns shades of red.

"Um...(Y/N)."

"S-Sorry! I guess I shouldn't have done that...I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable."

"A-Ah..." Hari starts to breathe heavily.

"I...I can't. (Y/N)..." Before you could even think, Hari grabs your arm and jerks you to your feet. While being jerked up, your teacup is knocked over.

"(Y/N)...My heart..."

"My heart won't stop pounding (Y/N)...I can't calm down. I can't focus on anything anymore...! Can you feel it, (Y/N)?" Without hesitation, Hari grabs your hand and presses it to his chest. The room suddenly feels heavy and seems to be getting darker. You want to look around but you couldn't stop staring at the man in front of you.

"Why is this happening to me? I feel like I'm losing my mind! I can't make it stop! It even makes me not want to read. I just want... to look...at YOU." Hari's eyes went wide as he looked at you with an emotion you couldn't quite describe. He scoots in closer to you so that your chest was almost touching. The room felt like it was shaking to the rhythm of a heartbeat.

"...Haah..."

The room felt like it was closing in on you as Hari only seemed to stare at you more. His eyes bore into your soul as if he wanted to take it for himself.

"...Haah..." The sound of him breathing heavily made shivers run up your back. You just felt like you couldn't even move as you just stared at him back.

"...Haah..." As soon as the last sound escaped him, the darkness left and Hari jumped away from you. The shaking of the room seemed to stop and Kai came out of nowhere. It felt as if nothing happened at all.

"U-Um...It's time to share poems..."

~~~

You didn't know who to share with first. In the end, you decided to go with Hari. Just to see if he was doing better than five seconds ago.

"Finally...ahaha." Hari holds your poem to his face and a smile stretches across his face.

"I love it. I love everything about it. (Y/N), I want to take this home. Will you let me keep it? Please?"

"Sure I don't care..."

"Ahaha, your too nice to me (Y/N). I've never met anyone as nice as you. I could die...N-Not really, but-! I just don't know how to describe it! It's okay to be feeling this way, right? It's not bad, right?"

Hari clutches your poem deeply to his chest.

"I'm going to take this home with me and keep it in my room. I hope it makes you feel good when you think about me having it. I'll even take good care of it!"

"I̸'̸l̸l̶ ̸e̸v̵e̸n̸ ̸t̴o̸u̶c̴h̶ ̵m̵y̵s̸e̷l̵f̵ ̷w̷h̸i̶l̸e̶ ̷r̷e̵a̴d̸i̷n̴g̷ ̵t̶h̶i̵s̷ ̵o̸v̷e̶r̴ ̸a̸n̷d̶ ̴o̴v̶e̴r̷ ̶a̶g̵a̸i̶n̵!̴ I̶'̵l̶l̴ ̷g̴i̶v̷e̸ ̴m̴y̷s̷e̴l̵f̸ ̴p̸a̴p̶e̴r̵c̸u̶t̸s̴ ̷j̷u̸s̷t̴ ̴s̵o̷ ̶y̴o̶u̴r̵ ̷s̷k̷i̵n̴ ̴o̵i̸l̸ ̸c̵a̴n̵ ̵e̴n̵t̷e̶r̷ ̴m̷y̵ ̸b̸l̸o̴o̴d̶s̴t̷r̴e̵a̸m̸!̶H̵A̷H̴A̶H̵A̸" Hari's eyes went wide as you felt yourself trying to walk away from him. Those eyes were terrifying in a way that made you want to run and hide.

"Here! You can have my poem too!" without a second thought Hari shoves his poem into your chest as well.

"Besides, after you read it, I know you're really going to want to keep it. Read it! I can't wait any longer. Hurry, read it!"

The moment you look at the poem you notice the small droplets of blood that seemed to be smeared or left to dry on the paper. You couldn't even read the writing and it wasn't like any type of poem you've seen from Hari before. The weird feeling that happened only moments ago seemed to be coming right back at you. You couldn't even read all of it in fear of what bodily fluids you might find on the next page or even what insanity Hari has written.

You go to put the paper down and the whole classroom was dark again. With the heartbeat rhythm shaking the classroom once more. The feeling of dread filled your body once again once you noticed that Hari was standing so close to you that you could feel his breath. His eyes wider than saucers as he stared at you.

"Do you like it? I wrote it for you! In case you couldn't tell the poem is about Ỵ̶̢̞̘̟̋́̽̾̑́͂̆͋̓͜͜͝͝F̸͚͔̘̣̜̘̗̣͇̀̔̓̿̔̈̄̐́̕G̴̰̮̻̺̲̈̅̓̒ģ̶͖̭͕̎̽͋̎͗̏̽̇̈͛͋͑͝ͅJ̸̧̨̛̟͕̠̗͇̗̄̂̑͆̉̈́́̃̊́̾͒͜Ȩ̷̡̩̣̙̬̗̙͚̮̄̀̈̾͆͊͊̈́͊̅̚͝ͅY̷̡͔̰̲͖̩͉͋̊̾̏͆̏̏͗͝ḩ̴̧̞͔̤̲̘̞̫̙̙͛̽͋̓̀͆̈f̵̛̼͈̯̭̞͚̫́̊͒̈́̓̎̊͘͘h̴̨̬̞̖́̂̽̏͗́̃̈́̾͛͠j̷̺̩̝͇̣̻̳̿̒s̷̞̝̘̬͍̻̬̻̩̠̉̊̋́͒̋̓͗̕̚͝ȳ̷̢̤̭̤͍̏̏̌̽͝ẖ̴̟̞̻̮̺̪̼̝̪͓̀̓̂͜U̵̬͓͎͉̒̓͊́͆͗͋́̅̂̓ͅͅJ̶̢̢̟͍̹̻͇̫̼̠͐̀͆̌̅͂̿̿̆̕G̶̡͕̦̥̹̖͉̦̖͎̞͌́̏͂̔̄͊͗͒̚B̶̟̫̼͌̀̌̋̽̃̀͝͝J̴͚̥̜͍̹͍̘̼̿́̈́̀͒̍͜V̷̢̧̨̨̛͔̜̱͔̣̥̄̈̄̀͜͝Ṇ̶̛̰̑̂̑̿̈́͐́̿̚̚͠ͅF̶̨̛̦̬͔̭̻̰̝͙̞̋̅̃͐̊͋͋̈̈̚͜͝͠H̸̯̬̐͆̓̒̚̕͝M̶̼̜͚̠̈̊̄͝͝j̵̟̟̹̹̼̎h̷̨̛̼͍̬̼̤̭̻̤̞̎͐̃͋̓̃̀j̸̺̓͊̇͐͆̔́͗̂̈͂͝n̸̨͍̼̫͇̝͈͓̞̗͕̈́̍̆̇̈̏̎̓͐̿͂͝h̴͚̹͕͉͙̞͘f̵͎̂͌̈́̈́̐̇̐̈́̈́͊̌ǵ̶̦̓͐̌͑̒̂̓̕͝J̶̦̲̩̱͔͍̥̀N̷̤̱̬͚̿̂̓F̵͎͇̝̜̒̓̃ͅN̶̘̖͕̜͓̭͇̰̞͕͓̆̔̆̀͒́̅͠ͅG̶̡̮͎͈̦̙̭̈́̌̓̈̀̍Ĵ̵̨̧̥̳͖̻̘̭͍̻̳̇͂̎̌͂̒̀͂́̒̕Ḃ̸̨͙͉Ḿ̷̧̯̫̫͈̗̼̱̞͇̝̘͌g̷̛̛̩̊̽̈͋̚"

"More importantly, I've endowed it with my scent. See, aren't I the most thoughtful person in the club?" Just like that Hari seemed to freeze and jump back. His face filled with horror as he quickly looks to the side. The darkness and shaking stopped as soon as he moved away from you.

"...I..."

"I think I'm...going to vomit." Before you could say anything Hari drops your poem and runs out of the club room. Picking it up you couldn't help but feel a weird sensation of being watched. You decided to just take a deep breath before going to the next person. You swore you were losing your mind.

"(Y/N), I think you saw something earlier that you weren't supposed to see. I didn't want to have to tell you this but I don't think I have a choice."

"It's getting kind of dangerous for you to spend so much time with Hari. I don't know why, but he seems to be easily excitable when he's around you..."

"Which shouldn't be a problem in itself. But when Hari gets too excited, He finds someplace to hide and starts to cut himself with a pocket knife. Isn't that kind of messed up? He brings a different one to school every day. Like he has a collection or something. It's definitely not because he's depressed or anything like that! I think he just gets some kind of high off it. It might even be, like, a sexual thing...but the point is you've kind of been enabling him. I'm not saying it's your fault though. You didn't know, but I suppose that's why I had to explain it all to you. So I think it would probably be best for him and you if you kept your distance from one another. While you're at it, don't be shy to spend a little more time with me...To put it lightly, I at least have it all together in my head. And I know how to treat my club members in a way that won't scare them."

"Well, I guess we don't need to worry about your poem since Hari took it before anyone else could read it. I guess whatever. I won't stop him. As for mine, I worked really...really hard on this poem so...I hope that it's effective. Here goes nothing." Kai hands you the poem and for a split second, you hear white noise in your head as the room gets pitch black. You could feel your body shaking as you looked at his poem. You couldn't even read it as your eyes wouldn't focus on a thing. Next thing you knew you felt a gloved hand place a finger under your chin. Looking up you notice Kai staring at you with adoring eyes.

"Guess I kinda messed up at writing this poem. I was just trying too..." As soon as he placed his finger under your chin, he let it go and looked away from you.

"Never mind... Let's just move on." You stare at him in a bit of shock before blinking and noticing you were standing in front of Tomura.

"What you already gave your poem to Hari? He took it and wouldn't let us read it at all! Not that I wanted to!" You rub the back of your neck before trying to come up with an explanation.

"I don't think I could have asked for that poem back if I tried. That grip was tighter than hell. I promise you Tomura, That if I wish you would have been able to read it."

"Hmph! Fine. I guess I'm going to share my poem with you anyways. Just read it carefully okay?"

'I don't know how else to bring this up. But there's been something I've been worried about. Hari has been acting strange lately. You've only been here a few days so you might not know what I mean. But he's not normally like this. He's always been quiet, polite, and attentive...things like that.

Okay, this is really embarrassing but I'm forcing myself to suck it up. The truth is, I'm REALLY worried about him. But if I try talking to him, he'll just get mad at me again. I don't know what to do. I think you're the only person he'll listen to. I don't know why. But please try to do something. Maybe you can convince her to talk to a therapist.'

I've always wanted to try being better friends with Hari, and it really hurts me to see this happening. I know I'm going t hate myself for admitting this but right now I don't care I just feel so helpless. SO please if you see you can do something to help. I don't want anything bad to happen to him. I'll make you cupcakes if I have to. Just please try to do something.

As for Kai...I don't know why, but he's been really dismissive about this. Like he wants us to ignore it. So I'm mad at him right now, and that's why I'm coming to you about this. DON"T LET HIM KNOW I WROTE THIS!!! Just pretend I gave you a really good poem okay? I'm counting on you. Thanks for reading.'

You put down Tomura's poem and looked him in the eyes only to see that his face was pale white and no facial features were to be seen anywhere. The same feeling of fear hit you once more. Shivers racked your whole body.

"I̶ ̸c̴h̴a̷n̴g̵e̴d̵ ̶m̷y̶ ̷m̵i̴n̷d̴.̵ ̴I̸g̸n̶o̵r̷e̵ ̸e̵v̶e̵r̷y̸t̴h̸i̸n̴g̷ ̶y̴o̶u̴ ̴j̴u̶s̴t̶ ̴r̷e̵a̷d̸.̶ ̵T̴h̶e̸r̶e̶'̷s̴ ̸n̶o̴ ̷p̵o̵i̵n̵t̵ ̵i̴n̵ ̵t̵r̷y̷i̶n̵g̸ ̵t̶o̵ ̶h̸i̷d̸e̴ ̴i̵t̷ ̸a̷n̴y̸m̸o̶r̵e̷.̶ ̷I̵t̷'̵s̷ ̶H̸a̴r̵i̶'̴s̸ ̶o̴w̷n̶ ̵f̷a̶u̸l̵t̵ ̴t̴h̴a̶t̴ ̸h̸e̷'̶s̸ ̶s̴o̴ ̴u̵n̵l̶i̸k̸e̵a̶b̷l̶e̵.̷ ̷C̶a̸n̵ ̷y̴o̴u̴ ̸h̵e̷a̷r̷ ̸m̵e̴ ̶(̴Y̶/̴N̴)̷?̸ ̸I̶f̷ ̷y̴o̵u̸ ̷w̵o̶u̵l̶d̵ ̵l̵i̵k̸e̴ ̷t̵o̶ ̸s̶p̸e̴n̴d̷ ̷m̸o̷r̸e̴ ̸t̴i̸m̶e̵ ̶w̴i̶t̵h̸ ̸K̸a̸i̶,̴ ̸a̴l̶l̴ ̶t̵h̶e̵s̸e̴ ̵p̶r̶o̴b̵l̸e̶m̷s̶ ̵w̵o̸u̷l̷d̵ ̷g̴o̴ ̶a̸w̴a̴y̶.̴ ̵H̴a̸r̴i̵ ̷a̸n̶d̵ ̶I̴ ̴a̸r̵e̶ ̸j̸u̶s̴t̵ ̸t̷o̶o̵ ̸m̴e̴s̴s̸e̴d̷ ̶u̶p̸ ̵t̵o̸ ̴b̷e̵ ̷w̸i̷t̸h̸ ̸s̷o̴m̴e̸o̶n̴e̶ ̶a̵s̵ ̶w̶o̵n̵d̸e̷r̶f̵u̵l̴ ̸a̴s̴ ̵y̷o̴u̶.̸ ̴J̵u̸s̸t̷ ̶t̵h̵i̶n̸k̴ ̵o̶f̷ ̶K̶a̴i̶ ̵f̷r̵o̵m̸ ̶n̴o̶w̷ ̷o̶n̸.̴"

J̴u̷s̵t̷ ̷K̵a̶i̸

J̷̘̕ǘ̶̩s̸̼̀t̶͈́ ̷̬́K̷͇͊ḁ̴͑i̴̯͝

J̸͕͎͉͓̍̐Ṵ̷̞̩͕͂̉͐S̶̢̳̤͕͈̟̩̀̚͝T̶̎̀ͅ ̸̛̫̝̱̦̻̦͌̊͐͒̿͒̚Ķ̸̧̰̟̟̙̩̱̳̌͝A̸̡̨̬͔̯̙̻̜̤̣̋̓̎̀̐̾͝Ỉ̶̛̺̊̈́̎

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